#never shutting up again

[charliesarchivee]

SPOILERS FOR CABARET 2024 I LITERALLY AM DESCRIBING THE ENTIRE SHOW

this is my initial rundown of cabaret scene by scene I just needed to get this off my chest then I can be normal again and have normal thoughts and be a cats fan on main

Willkommen: A celebration!!! Eddie redmayne is a delight on stage and Gayle rankin walking through the mezzanine is so cool

Train: the emcee freezes in a tableau of playing with a toy train on the rotating stage which is delightful. Also, I saw the understudy for Clifford Bradshaw (he was AMAZING.) and his hat fell off of his suitcase and kept rotating around and I think at one point somebody picked it up bcos it disappeared!

So what: Bebe Neuwirth is a legend. A legend. That is all. Also Frauline Kost was HILARIOUS

telephone song: yes I know it’s not REALLY the telephone song but emcee hanging off a pillar (there were four pillars around the round stage) and reaching for Cliff as the whole cast echoes (and I mean it they had echoes on their mics) WELCOME TO BERLIN… FAMOUS NOVELIST… sent chills down my spine and to my toes like I think that gave me more chills than Alan cumming standing on top of the set with his head up and his chest out as if he was possessed

Don’t tell Mama: at one point she flopped on her back and kicked her feet up and went WAA WAA I WANT MY MAMAAA and I wept this was so funny and some lucky gal in the front row got her stage cigarette that she threw into the audience. Also when she said the convent part she was like “yea i know right” and the France part she went “haugh haugh haugh” like French laughter

cliff and Sally telephone: cliff was like “and somejwere men are laughing and somewhere childrenshoutbutthereisnojoyinmudvillemightycaseyhasstruckout” which is SO canon and was SO funny. And Sally’s face dropping as she deadpans “oh you’re American.” elicited like lots of laugjter

mein herr: SLOW AND SCARY MEIN HERR SAVE ME SLOW AND SCARY MEIN HERR PLZZZ

outside the klub: Sally just undresses right in front of him which was funny. At my performance there was a laundry hamper behind her and she threw her don’t tell mama dress out behind her and it did not land in the basket which, planned or not, made everyone laugh. Also, when Bobby kissed cliff, someone in the opposite mezz screamed “YEAAAA!!” Which like truth

Perfectly marvelous: Sally came in with this GIANT pink floral suitcase which she pulls articles of clothing out to put on cliff which was rly funny and fresh. Also- WERE HER PRAIRIE OYSTERS REAL?? Her recacrion seemed so genuine omfg.. also she buried herself under his coat for “nearly invisible perfectly marvelous girl” which was so cute and yes canon. Also I noticed she hugs his knees a lot in this show so cute

Two ladies: YES!! and they invited everybody to jump out of Sally’s big suitcase and just love!! It was so good!! During the dance break everyone was rotating around just getting it up and Herman (there’s nothing funny about Herman) was just on stage with a deadpan look and a mop, going back and forth to the beat, literally going under people’s legs, etc. one of my fav moments that I noticed cos I was just mesmerized by his mop was that someone came around jacking off to a book and then they held out their hand to Herman and he just wiped it with the mop disgustedly. SO FUNNY. Also Eddie redmaynes tights had little eyes on them so even wjen his pants r pulled down you know he’s always watching eek. Also now would be a good time to mention that the people sitting at the tables near the stage had little tea lights that would turn on during the Kit Kat limbo stuff (like two ladies and if you could see her) and they would turn off if we were in the apartment or the street or whatnot. A lovely little touch that my dad noticed! Also also when he credits the Kit Kat girls he says “rose lulu frenchie texas fritzie and My Helga!!” And he seems to really take a liking to Helga which is so canon and yes

It couldn’t please me more: she has this little headband on that I love. And also, I was gauging how many people would be shocked after If You Could See Her in this number. My hypothesis was if many people were pleasantly surprised/laughed at the pineapple reveal, then many people would have the bomb dropped on them during if you could see her. So I was paying attention! Anyway at the end he gave her the bag to put the pineapple back in and I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING but he slowly licked his two fingers, opened the bag, and slowly placed the pineapple inside very smoothly. Then they went their separate ways but on the orchestta button they turned around, smiled at each other, and she reached out her hand and he gleefully ran and took it and they exited together. SO cute. I love this staging. It is SO fresh after watching so many sam mendes recreations (not to say those are bad I love those too!)

Tomorrow belongs to me: when Eddie redmayne came out and started singing my first thought was “this can’t be right!!” I had only been accustomed to emcees sitting over a record player, or writers in the klub bursting out in song. I’ve only seen one production of cabaret have the emcee sing tbtm, and even then they had literal strings attached to them being pulled by uniformed men. So this was completely different for me! And also the arrangement of the song was beautiful if the song wasn’t an in universe Nazi song I would suggest it in choir it was really good sonically! And the mic echoes ATE. And SPOILER the cast had little plastic figures up to my thigh of little blonde boys that they placed in a perfect circle around the emcee (who was on a raised platform) and they were rotating around as the emcee looked around at everybody like “yeah look at what happens now..” and he TAKES OFF HIS RED WIG and literal GOOSEBUMPS UNDER MY SILVER TIGHTS.

Cliff and Sally apartment: they are so intimate makes me happy! Also the delivery of “a horrid little German infant with a mustache ordering us around” was superb and got audience laughter

maybe this time: literallt in her head voice because she’s UP IN HER HEAD like YES SLOW AND INTIMATE MAYBE THIS TIME SAVE ME SLOW AND INTIMATE MAYBE THIS TIME PLZ

Money: I have been predisposed to the money choreo being about prostitution, but this felt way different to me. I think in this song (bear with me) the emcee IS money. He’s dressed very bedazzled, rhinestones on his coat, sparkly long nails, but also scary, with a helmet and stark makeup, because money can be scary! Also, all of the dancers, dressed in uniform rags, were constantly following the emcee around and reaching for him, and he would often lightly brush or peck them, which makes me think thag he represents money in that song specifically! I asked my dad about it on the way home and he said that money is just another reason people have to bury their head in the sand when important shifts are happening in their world. I agreed.

married: at one point in the sneaking around scene, Herr Shultz comes out wearing a floral cardigan and runs back going “oh this isn’t mine! This isn’t mine!” And frauline kost (and the ajdience) had a laugh. Also this song was so sweet and tender. Great job everyone!

engagement party: SCORE THING: the underscoring switch from the beginning of maybe this time to if you could see her as the party comes up was CHILLING. there was no scene in between married and the engagement party, so frauline Schneider had an impressive on stage quick change into a dress! Also, Herr Schultz getting tipsy on schnapps was hilarious. I had another hypothesis too here which was If a lot of people gasp at Herr Ludwig’s reveal, then a lot of people will have a bomb dropped on them at the end of If You Could See Her. And in fact, a lot of people did gasp! I literally felt a chill just descend on everybody as the weight of this sank in.

tomorrow belongs to me (reprise): SCARY. The emcee comes up at the end on a small raised platform in his money outfit (here I think he represents power) and he has a baton and he’s conducting everybody!!! Also he conducted correctly in 3/4 I was so warmed to notice that he wasn’t just flailing about like he did that right thank you Eddie redmayne for doing it right

—

Entracte: I need to make a seperate post about the prologue and entracte performances. Oh my lord. Words cannot describe. Just chills.

kick line: YES. I love any production that adds the German counting and I loved how they transitioned into the march in this one! Like they started by (in a ripple may I add) reaching out all inviting and then dramatically pivoting around to reach all inviting to the other side and then it slowly turned into a salute and a goose step!! And then the emcee comes out the center with a CLOWN COSTUME AND A COMIC ORANGE GUN with a little swastika flag in it and then he hands it to the last person on line who marches away with it. V scary. Props.

married reprise: there is a heartbreaking moment where Herr Schultz asks “how much time do we”- and then he breaks off and cries. Oh my gosh. Also the emcee is doing very slow magic tricks in the corner like producing an orange. And producing a glass. And then he stands up and shows the audience he’s putting the glass in a napkin like he’s about to release a dove and at first I’m thinking “oh instead of a dove he’s gonna throw a brick right?” But NO. He excitedly puts the glass down.. and at the very last minute HE REARS BACK AND STAMPS ON IT (like at Jewish weddings!) AND THE STAGE GOES DARK. Theres screaminf and when the lights come back up, the entire stage is covered in little triangles of white paper like broken glass. Those remain for the rest of the show. The emcee then goes to the middle of the stage, looks Herr Schultz in the eyes, and drops the glass and towel down this seemingly bottomless pit and then Herr Schultz gets really scared and runs away and then the emcee closes it up with a wave of his hand. I think in that moment Herr Schultz was face to face with the gravity of his situation.

if you could see her: chilling because the gorilla isn’t even a gorilla in a dress. It’s practically a real animal. It walks on all fours the whole number and sits and like picks at its fur or whatever gorillas do. And the emcee is tempting it with a banana the whole time. Now i seriously prepared myself for the last line here I was ready for very hesitant applause and maybe even gasps but NO Eddie redmayne delivered it like a punchline (not his fault the Nazis are getting more and more powerful so this would be a joke) SO a couple people around me LAUGHED before realizing snd they like cleared their throats. Also they used the rotating stage in this one and when it turned on he said “oh we’re moving my little one!” Which was a nice touch but is also this song so

Cliff and Sally apartment 2: cliff gets like visibly upset when Sally wants to go back to the klub he’s like leaning on furniture which is a nice touch! Also after what would you do when he said “you’re going a lot further than the Kit Kat klub you’re going home. My home. America,” somebody in the audience went “YES!”

what would you do: LEGEND. Bebe Neuwirth was phenomenal. The platform rose her up too it was amazing. What would you do hits something in me that I didn’t know was there.

I don’t care much: everybody knows this is my favorite song to ever come out of cabaret. I LOVE this song and it’s just dear to me. When Eddie redmayne came on stage in a suit and he was NEWLY BLONDE I cried I was like no way. And when he went WOORDS SOUND FALSE he frantically tied to get the pieces of glass I was just in shambles. And then he GRABBED SALLY BY HER WRISTS and practically spat the last “I don’t care” in her face and then SUFFOCATED HER IN A HUG and I feel like in that moment he was still a reflection of a changing Berlin, beating on people like Sally. I have a whole analysis of this

Outside the klub 2: the emcee is leaning on a pole and Sally starts to walk toward him to enter tne klub and then cliff walks in and is like “DONT GO NEAR HIM SALLY!!” And I don’t think the emcee is the emcee in that moment tbh I think he’s a pimp but anyway. When cliff gets beaten by Nazis Sally is sitting deadpan on the end of the stage with her back to everything. She doesn’t even flinch. She physically turns her back on everything

cabaret: no words in any language can describe how remarkable this was. That is all. Also when the emcee introduces her he comes up and poses and nobody clapped cos this was kind of a dark moment and he was like “…thank you..thank you..” all small and shaky and I think that nearly killed me it really did

Cliff and Sally apartment 3: when herr Schultz was like “I’m leaving” someone said “NO!” Which liek truth. This scene was just heartbreaking. Cliff like raised his hand to hit her and literally broke down and I BROKE DOWN JUST WEEPING ALL OVER MY SEAT

finale: YIKES. When cliff started singing wilkommen I also wanted to scream “NO!!” As well but I did not. The emcee yelled where are your troubles now? Forgotten? Right at cliff which scared me. And he had a baton and was conducting everybody again! Also also the entire cast mirrored the first ever tomorrow belongs to me and stood in a perfect circle all dressed in brown and at the drumroll hit the lights darkened immediately on the emcee but stayed dim on the rotating circle like saying “THIS IS YOU!!” Also the bows didn’t have music and were very solemn.

ok danke merci thanks!

[lungthief]

listen. i know it's not 2014 anymore and i know it's just a throwaway line and that the russo brothers didnt intend for marvel action blockbuster captain america the winter soldier to become the tragic gay love story that never was but man. having steve say "it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience" in a conversation about romantic relationships right before the bucky reveal is so cruel. it's not just about steve and bucky obviously having the shared experience of being "out of time," it's the fact that they've both been stripped of their humanity in opposite directions. steve is a legend, he is an american hero and a national icon before he is a human being the same way that bucky is a weapon and a killing machine before he is a human being. steve knows that anyone who falls in love with him in the 21st century fell in love with captain america first, and that's just not him. but then the one person who knew him first and knew him best and loved him (not captain america, that little guy from brooklyn) so much he died for it is alive, impossibly. and it's a miracle because he's back and it's horrific because he's back under the worst possible circumstances. but to steve, the winter soldier is worth tearing the world apart for because he's always been bucky first. they find each other and suddenly they're human again. and maybe, despite it all, being "out of time" becomes a blessing, because in this century they'd finally be allowed to love each other the way they've always wanted to. like real people do.

like. no. the captain america trilogy isn't about two queer men traumatized and alienated by war and modern life rediscovering and reclaiming their humanity through their love for each other. but. i mean. it couldve been

[rocketbirdie]

so close yet so far

[anotherpapercut]

I just want to say I have absolutely 0 sympathy whatsoever for anyone complaining about anything homeless people do. oh you saw human shit on the ground?? hmm maybe it's because THEY DONT HAVE A TOILET. oh you saw someone cleaning themselves in a public restroom? maybe because THEY DONT HAVE A FUCKING SHOWER. oh no a homeless person is living in a tent and you think it's ugly?? CRY ABOUT IT IN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE. oh my goodness homeless people sleeping on the ground and they're in your way!!!! yeah THEY DONT HAVE A BED

if seeing homeless people bothers you that much then good news! you have some choices! 1) let them all live with you in your house! 2) start pressuring your local government to stop criminalizing the homeless and start giving them financial and medical assistance! 3) shut the fuck up and die!

[tooshnado]

some things never change

[spaceistheplaceart]

mob tells reigen to shut up accidentally... two!!!

abbreviated ID: An mp100 comic. Teru tells Mob "shut up" can be a reply to something funny. and mob later tells reigen to shut up after he tells a joke, shocking reigen. Full ID under cut

[ID: A black and white Mob Psycho 100 comic. Mob smiles and says something marked as “[funny comment]” and Teru laughs hard, clapping Mob on the shoulder and exclaiming, “Oh, shut up, Kageyama!” Mob sweats and says, “Oh, sorry.” Teru, frowning, asks, “Huh? Why?”

Mob says, “You told me to shut up?” and Teru holds up his hands, looking apologetic. He exclaims, “Oh! No, no, no! That means I thought it was funny!” He flusters, smiling weakly and trying to explain. “When someone tells you to shut up and they’re laughing it means it was funny! Like uh... uh... Okay I can’t explain it but you know what I mean.”

Mob looks away and says, “Not really...” He smiles at Teru. “But I'm glad you thought it was funny.” Teru rubs the back of his head and says, “Ahaa yeah! I did!”

The view cuts to Spirits and Such, where Mob is writing at his desk and Reigen is scowling behind his. Arms crossed, Reigen says a “[snide but funny remark]”. Mob gives a “hehe” and smiles, “Good one, master.” The background turns dark gray as the view zooms in on Mob and he, still smiling with big eyes, says, “Shut up!”

Reigen’s mouth parts as his expression goes to blank shock. The background behind him is stark black. End ID]

[sky-is-the-limit]

Kyle Gaz Garrick fell off a damn helicopter, hang onto a fucking rope, shooting enemies upside down while the helicopter was moving like the coolest fucking character that he is and mfs still decide not to include him in 141 content. I'm convinced that none of them played the games cause I genuinely cannot understand if you played both MW1/MW2 and still decide not include Gaz. And before you cry that people don't have to include him if they don't want to, I know? That doesn't mean I can't express my thoughts on it.

"I don't know him that well" what?! You play BOTH games with Gaz, he's literally the character you know the MOST along with Price. But you know König who's part of the KorTac faction? And include him in 141 TF content but leave out THE 141 member?

The reason why I keep talking about this is because it's kinda concerning on a different level/weird undertones that go further than fiction/game when it comes to Gaz.

P.s: fucking hell, he's so fine it hurts my soul. Till the walls turn white and all oxygen leaves my brain.

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[thespaceyace]

HAPPY CHAPTER 100 DAY ‼️⭐️

it’s both hard to believe it’s been 100 chapters but at the same time it feels like it’s been so much more than that because of how much has happened in the manga. it’s also a perfect time to post about this since it’s around the time a few years ago I got into the series so gotta also give my sappy due diligence to this absolute comfort series of mine that never fails to both bring me joy and the saddest of sadness 🫶

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!

Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?

[altruistic-meme]

im sitting here wondering how the ADA would react to skks dynamic in canon. cus like..... I don't think ANYONE from the ADA has ever actually seen Dazai and Chuuya in the same room. and the way Dazai talks to and teases Chuuya is SO DIFFERENT than how he behaves with the people at the ADA that I feel like they'd get fucking whiplash from it.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

re2 lethan AU comics

[lauraneedstochill]

Can’t help falling in love

summary: 5 times Aemond was in love with you + 1 time he finally confessed his feelings

warnings: friends to lovers (at the age of 9, 10, 15, 17, 19), a pinch of angst (Aemond healing after losing his eye), but overall so fluffy and sweet you may want to skip dessert

words: ~ 5500 (I got reeeally carried away with that love confession)

1.

Aemond is weeks away from his tenth birthday and he feels as miserable as ever. That feeling is an iron weight upon his heart, his mood irritated and face features grim more often than not. He is still without a dragon — and it’s the only thing he can think of, day and night, steadfast and stubborn in his obsession that most of his family finds to be blown out of proportion. It might have stang him less if only it wasn’t for the constant teasing and pitiful jokes that added to his distress and the never-ending heartache. He learns to keep a straight face and act as if he doesn’t really care, but deep down he does, way more than he’ll ever admit.

His training sessions are a way to channel his anger, and he lashes out at a straw man, again and again, clinging to the thought that, at least in these moments, he is not entirely powerless. He keeps his focus on the target, attentive to Ser Criston’s advice — “Soften your knees”, “Keep your feet light, your hands heavy”, and for a couple of hours he forgets about his misery.

It’s when the training comes to an end, the dreaded realization sinks in again, and Aemond is lost in his thoughts, mindlessly twirling the wooden sword in one hand, his gaze wandering around the yard.

And then his eyes fall on a bright green spot — and all of a sudden, he sees you. A girl of his age, the hem of your green dress a bit dusty, boots covered in dirt, a few strands of hair fallen loose, a coy smile on your face. You meet his gaze and wave at him excitedly.

Aemond looks dumbfounded. A girl in the training yard. Waving at him. He blinks once, twice — and in the next moment, you’re standing merely a few steps away, glancing curiously at his sword.

“It looks so hefty! Is it heavy? What is it made of?” a string of questions, your voice sweet and joyful.

There’s a brief pause and maybe you mistake his stiffness for arrogance as you are quick to add:

“Oh, my manners!” gasping but showing no actual regret. “Forgive me,” you curtsy, your smile growing even wider. A timid smile appears on his face in return and he finally comes to his senses.

“It’s made out of red oak. It’s not very heavy, you get used to it,” Aemond raises the sword, letting you take a closer look. Within another blink of an eye he finds himself talking to you, your questions endless and maybe a bit naive but he genuinely enjoys it.

That’s until you both hear a loud cry.

“Lady Y/N!” your nanny comes running in, out of breath and scowling. “I told you not to wander around...,” she chokes on her words at the sight of the young prince. She curtsies, too, but it isn’t nearly as cute as when you do it.

She sprints decisively in your direction. “It wasn’t very polite of you to interrupt the prince’s training, you little menace!”

And then Aemond, to his own surprise, moves to stand in her way.

“She didn’t interrupt a thing,” he disagrees, lips thinned into a tight line.

The nanny stops and looks at Aemond dubiously, switching her gaze from him to you.

Ser Criston is the one to resolve the conflict — he comes from behind, with a polite smile plastered on his face.

“Young lady can watch from the balcony. The guests are very much welcomed,” he calls for the maid to escort you and your nanny up there. While you’re away, he looks at Aemond with a grin:

“Already wooing the ladies, my prince? Let’s hope you are as good with your sword as she thinks you are.”

He does make Aemond work for it but the prince fights back, winning one bout after the other. He keeps glancing at you and you wave at him every single time.

Aemond is too young to know what love is, too shy and guarded to even entertain the thought of it. But when you look at him, with your childish grin and your eyes bright with mirth, he doesn’t feel lonely anymore. 2.

It’s been two weeks since Aemond lost his eye and he hasn’t left the bed. The pain is still blinding, burning and constantly making his only eye water. But what hurts even more is the humiliating disability. The triumph of claiming Vhagar died down, and now the prince was faced with the harsh reality he needed to adjust to and the process wasn’t an easy one. The fever has only recently gone down, leaving his body weak and freezing from the lack of movement, but he couldn’t bear the thought of stepping out of the room.

His mother wouldn’t leave his side and even Aegon often came to visit, clearly blaming himself for not being there for his little brother. Yet their presence barely brought Aemond any comfort and most of the time he would pretend to be asleep to avoid any conversations. He knew they only meant well and he was being cruel but he couldn’t help it as his pride was shattered and he gave in to sadness.

That is until one night he wakes up to a weird sound. He’s only half-awake when he hears a vigorous tapping that clearly comes from the outside. Except it's not from the other side of the door — but rather outside his window.

He’s startled by this guess and suspiciously walks closer. It takes him a few seconds to focus his gaze and discern a human’s silhouette — and then another few to realize that it’s you standing on the window sill. He feels like his heart will jump out of his chest as he rushes to open the window.

You climb through and clumsily drop to the floor. But before he can get worried, you are on your feet again, eyeing him with concern.

“Oh, Aemond,” your gaze and voice are both so soft, it makes his lower lip quiver. You carefully approach him and put your hand on his shoulder, gently sliding it on his back in a soothing motion and then cuddling him. He welcomes your company with a sigh of relief. You smell of oranges and you give the best hugs.

“They told me no one was allowed into your chambers,“ your hushed whisper burns his ear. “The silliest thing I’ve ever heard!” you pull away from him, still lightly panting, cheeks flushed and hair messy. “I knew I had to find a way to come see you.”

You examine his face, frowning at the scar that’s still healing.

“Does it hurt?”

He only nods, afraid that if he opens his mouth, he won’t be able to hold back a sob. You move closer, resuming the gentle motion of rubbing his back.

Ever since that day in the training yard, you kept in touch, regularly sending each other letters, chatting about everything and nothing, sharing your little secrets and observations. You recently mentioned that your parents allowed you to come see him again, but with the tragic change of events, Aemond completely forgot about the preplanned visit. 

“I will take his eye,” you say out of the blue, caressing the unharmed side of his face, your voice laced with anger. Aemond thinks he might’ve heard it wrong.

“...Whose eye?”

“Luke’s! I shall take his eye, as payment for yours,” you tell him with zero hesitation. For a girl of your age, you’re way too eager to plan such a thing, yet he somehow has no doubts that you can actually do it.

Aemond shakes his head.

“You shouldn’t,” his voice quiet but firm. “The King was very adamant about that, no payment is needed.”

“Well, maybe he is too old to think straight,” you retort. “You are his son and you lost an eye! Justice must prevail,” you tilt your head at him, clearly thinking that you’re in the right.

And he knows that you are but he also knows no justice will be served. It’s the last straw for Aemond — he looks away in shame as tears, hot and angry, start falling down his cheek. You waste no time hugging him again, letting him cry on your shoulder, and the two of you stay like that for what feels like an hour.

And then, in the comfortable silence of your embrace, he hears you asking, very seriously:

“Are you sure I can’t take his eye?”

At that moment, he can’t stop himself from letting out a laugh — a weak one and barely audible, but still, he laughs, for the first time in two weeks, and you are the sole reason for it. 

Your cheek is pressed to his, your fingers running through his hair, and Aemond realizes he can’t lose you.

He begrudgingly persuades you that taking Luke’s eye isn’t worth the trouble.

3.

By the age of fifteen Aemond becomes quite accustomed to the eyepatch and it gives him a boost of confidence. Losing an eye only made him train harder and his persistence pays off when he’s the one to win, time after time, no matter who his opponent is. His hair grows longer, now silky smooth and with no sign of his boyish curled ends, his face features sharpen. He learns to walk with his head high and hands clasped behind his back, mastering the intimidating look that makes most people want to stay away from the one-eyed prince. 

His tricks could’ve never worked on you, though.

You come to visit him a few times a year, and he eagerly awaits your arrival. All the days in between, you keep talking through letters, them getting longer as you get closer. He keeps those letters locked in a hidden compartment of his table. And sometimes, for no specific reason — or maybe for the reason he can’t yet formulate — he is drawn to reach for them, which always ends with him rereading the letters for hours. Some of them he knows by heart and yet it never stops him from having the pleasure of seeing your handwritten stories and little jokes that were only meant for him.

Today is no exception and Aemond is so enthralled by reading, he almost misses the knock on the door. The sound brings him to reality but he is in no hurry to react. The knocking comes again, and the prince groans, annoyed at the maid’s persistence. He carefully puts the letters back and goes to the door, armed with his cold gaze.

And then he opens it — and it’s you standing in front of him. 

Aemond barely has time to register what’s going on when you launch yourself at him, your arms immediately enveloping him in a tight hug, your laugh ringing in the air. He hugs you back and, while you can’t see it, he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“I swear you’re getting taller every time we meet!” you look up at him, beaming, and he lets you in. “I soon will need a ladder just to hug you properly.”

“I’ll be sure to let my body know of your disapproval,” he sneers and you stick out your tongue.

“While you are at it, shall you also work on your friendly face? I overheard the maids being frightened to go into your chambers,” you try giving him a scolding look but end up giggling at his reddened cheeks.

“I am friendly enough!”

“Yes, nobody glowers quite like you,” you snicker and flop right on the floor, the move always making him smile. Aemond tried persuading you to sit on any other surface that’s actually meant for sitting but you insisted that his fluffy rug works just as well, so he eventually gave up, deciding to join you. He never complained since.

Before he knows it, he’s immersed in the conversation while you enthusiastically share the recent news and everything that’s happened to you on the road. Only about half an hour in, he notes a small bag you’re clasping in your hands.

“You come bearing gifts?”

“Oh, I almost forgot I had it,” you laugh, abashed. “I decided I should bring you something to replace this crumpled-looking thing”.

It takes Aemond a minute to realize that you’re talking about his eyepatch. But he has no time to protest as you silence him with a gesture of your hand.

“I took it upon myself to count for how long you’ve been wearing this one already,” your tone gets serious. “I must say, that number is disturbing.”

There’s a moment of silence and then he clears his throat, his voice unsure. “Very kind of you to think of that, I shall replace it later on.”

He reaches his hand to take the bag but you quickly cover it with yours, fingers brushing over his, and he freezes.

“Are you still not convinced that I can take a look at it?” you try to make eye contact but he averts your gaze.

“Aemond, I was with you and I think I’ve seen enough back then — none of it scared me.”

“It is not a sight for the faint of heart,” the prince mumbles, his bravado faltering.

“Well, I don’t remember fainting the first time. You should have more faith in me,” you try to reason, holding his hand.

Aemond ponders for another minute — or maybe ten, he isn’t sure, and you patiently wait, not wanting to press him any further. Then he finally makes a decision and, after taking a long, sad sigh, he removes the eyepatch and looks at you, the sight of him is the very definition of insecurity.

You stay silent for about five seconds before concluding:

“Oh, it healed so nicely!” with no hint of uncertainty in your voice. Your smile reassures him a little as you peer at the sapphire, looking very pleased.

“The gem compliments your eye very well,” you give him your verdict, taking the new eyepatch out.

“We might have a different understanding of what a compliment is.”

“This is me trying to say that I really like the way it looks,” you chide him lightly. “And I consider myself to be quite understanding, thank you very much. Will you stop pouting and let me put it on?”

At this point he surrenders, giving you permission, and you move closer, giggling with excitement. You gently fix his hair, making sure it’s all combed back, and then lean to put the eyepatch on. You have a habit of biting your lower lip when you’re too concentrated on something, and Aemond can’t help but gaze at that part of your face while your teeth graze over the pillowy surface. 

He’s never let anyone this close — and not just in the sense of physical proximity. The moment is very intimate, and the softness of your movements tugs at his heart. He is suddenly very aware of the very short distance separating you two, and he holds his breath. You are oblivious to his stare and soon lean back, satisfied with the result and glancing at him with something akin to fondness.

He wishes he could paint a picture of you right at this moment, so tender and caring and sitting by his side.

He also wishes he could kiss you — and that thought scares him to death. And yet, once it appears, it never goes away.

4.

Aemond is seventeen and his life has been pure torture since you stopped visiting him. He hasn’t seen you in over half a year (seven months and eleven days, not that anyone is counting). It’s not your fault as your father has unexpectedly fallen ill and you couldn’t leave his side. The prince exhausted the maester with questions, asking for advice to write back to you, worried sick that your separation would be stretched for way longer than he could handle.

Luckily, the Gods took pity on him, and he was glad to learn that your father got better, and you will come to King’s Landing soon. Your visit coincided with Aegon’s birthday, but Aemond didn’t care about the feast, his mind only occupied with the thought of seeing you. He was both nervous and excited to the point of not even hiding it, which led to Aegon teasing him relentlessly. Helaena, on the other hand, wholeheartedly supported Aemond’s feelings for you.

“She will be delighted to see you, too, I am sure of it,” his sister tells him the day before the event.

“But the reason for it might be of a different nature,” Aemond remarks, and Helaena gives him a compassionate look.

“You will never know her true feelings unless you ask,” she encourages. “The two of you are so close, I consider her part of the family.”

Aemond knows that he’s of age and his mother hinted that, despite him showing no interest in courting, some ladies still found him attractive. He dismisses the idea but then finds himself thinking of it from time to time. When the realization forms in his head, it’s nerve-wracking but oh so compelling — he thinks he would’ve really wanted to marry you. He just doesn’t know how to tell you about it.

The day of your arrival comes, and Aemond wakes up at dawn in anticipation, determined to confess his feelings. He tries to come up with a speech, but it feels wrong and sounds weird, and he decides it will be better to improvise. He all but runs to the courtyard to be the first one to greet you. However, when you step out of the carriage, smoothing your dress, and your eyes meet, Aemond stops dead in his tracks and the world around him stands still.

His confidence might’ve blossomed — but not nearly as much as your beauty did. Somehow in those recent months, you’ve matured into a woman that takes his breath away.

It’s not a drastic change, it’s all in the details: the contours of your face are more defined, the cheekbones prominent, your hair knotted up high in a perfect style and even your pace is much slower and gracious. You walk towards one another, both suddenly cautious. But when you are a couple of meters apart, a well-known smile appears on your face and you hold your arms out to him and he finally hugs you again, after all this time. Aemond relaxes, inhaling the familiar scent of fruits that you undoubtedly munched on your way here.

“You look exactly as I remembered you,” you say as you slip from his embrace.

“And you are a sight to behold,” he breathes out, taking you in, and your cheeks heat up at the compliment. You’ve never been shy with him before, so this is also new. He wonders what might’ve caused this change.

As the two of you walk around the castle, it feels a bit awkward at first, and you keep glancing at him with emotion he can’t read. But Aemond is too happy to see you to give it much thought, and within an hour you ease into the conversation, too. By the time the evening comes, the tension disappears, and you are laughing at his sarcastic remarks again, and he savors every second of it.

The feast in honor of Aegon is lush and crowded, but you stay by Aemond’s side, enjoying each other’s company, and he only has eye for you. When the music gets too loud, you sneak out and soon find yourselves in his chambers, just like in the good old days.

Aemond is in the middle of telling you about Aegon’s recent foray to the Flea Bottom, when you say. “It’s just the two of us,” your fingers sink into the fluffy rug. “You don’t have to wear it with me. You know it, right?”

He wears the eyepatch with everyone, only taking it off before going to sleep. Moreover, he actually cherishes it because it’s a gift from you.

Aemond hesitates. “I thought you quite liked it.”

“I only gave it to you because yours started to look like it was pulled off a dead man’s body!” you laugh.

Before he can think of an answer, you lean closer — your shoulder brushing his, your hand touching his face, the same gentle warmth he remembers so well, — and remove the eyepatch yourself. The sight doesn’t bother you in the slightest as you confess:

“I accept you the way you are, Aemond,” and then, a moment away from him opening his mouth and saying the thing that’s been on the tip of his tongue for the duration of the day, you add, “That’s what friends are for — and you are my best friend.”

And just like that, with this word alone, his plan goes out the window.

A friend. Aemond can’t even be upset at the reveal, because, honestly, being your friend feels like a blessing in itself and he wouldn’t trade it for the world. How could he be so selfish and foolish to even think about risking it all, risk losing you?

So he keeps his feelings to himself, locking them away deep in his heart, and doesn't argue with you.

Maybe he should have.

5.

By the age of nineteen Aemond reaches the conclusion that he wants to take the risk. Otherwise, he thinks he might actually die as his heart can not hold all his feelings anymore. In two years' time, there isn’t a single thing about you that he hasn’t come to love, and keeping it a secret becomes harder with each day.

Aemond is ridden with doubts to the point where he can’t hide it any longer and he decides to seek advice — and the prince can’t think of a better person to talk to than his mother. Unbeknownst to him, Alicent was the first one to notice. Years ago, when you were kids, she quickly sensed the effect you had on her son, and it brought her joy as she watched the two of you get closer with time.

So when Aemond bursts into her room, anxiety radiating off of him as he starts jabbering away, his pacing erratic and voice trembling, it takes her about a minute to realize what's going on.

“My dear, I think you must talk to her,” she approaches him, an understanding look on her face.

Aemond cuts his speech short, eyeing her with wonder:

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“Your affection for her is as bright as a fire blazing,” Alicent chuckles. “I believe she is the only one who doesn’t see it.”

“Should I tell her...?” he doesn’t dare say it out loud, not yet.

Alicent briefly takes his hands in hers, squeezing them. “You should tell her the truth.”

Her encouragement gives him a dash of hope, lifting a weight off his chest. Aemond knows in an instant that the letter won’t cut it, and you must have the conversation face-to-face. Fortunately, your next visit is in a month, so his suffering won’t last for much longer.

Aemond almost reaches the door but then sharply turns to his mother again, his cheeks flushed:

“Will you give me your approval?” and this time, he looks straight at her as he wants to see her genuine reaction.

Alicent smiles, quick to reassure him. “Yes, Aemond. Your betrothal would only make me happy.” The prince feels elated, almost euphoric, as he finally goes to meet you and runs the remaining distance from his chambers to the yard. But when he sees you, the smile disappears from his face because he notices that something is wrong.

You look visibly upset, your eyes watering and fingers fumbling with the dress, even though you try to force a smile in return. The hug you give him is weak and you keep looking at your feet.

“What is the matter?” he’s never seen you this sad, but you brush him off.

“It’s just a headache, no need to worry.”

Yet that’s exactly what he does, offering to call for the maester, or to prepare you a warm bath, or bring you some tea...

“A cup of water would be nice, thank you,” he leaves you in the hallway to go and get it himself, the task only takes a couple of minutes. When he returns, you stand with your back to him, your shoulders are shaking — and he hears quiet, muffled sobs. If it wasn’t for the nearby table, he would’ve thrown the cup away, his focus on you alone. As he rushes to envelop you in a hug, you don’t fight it, instead nestling your face against his chest, not hiding your tears anymore.

Aemond gives you some time before asking again.

“This doesn’t look like just a headache. What is the cause of your anguish?” now he’s the one running his fingers up and down your back.

You let out a sound that’s a mix between a groan and a whine.

“My father says I am to be betrothed soon. He says I am of age already and... and he wants me to meet some of my cousins,” you sniffle. “I told him I have no wish to get married but he refuses to listen,” you bite your lip, not wanting to cry again.

Surely, that’s not how Aemond wanted to ask you. But he decides to take his chance.

“Mayhaps there is another way out that could make you feel better.”

“Please don’t tell me Vhagar will burn them down,” you jest but the smile doesn’t reach your eyes. Aemond thinks your idea isn’t that bad — but he has to try his first.

“If he insists you should marry but doesn’t have a particular candidate, maybe you can pick one yourself?”

“I’ve met all my cousins — and half of them are imbeciles, the others are too old to survive a wedding,” you scoff.

“Then pick someone you are not related to,” Aemond suggests.

“Do you have a particular candidate in mind?” when you ask with a tinge of annoyance, you don’t think he will answer. And then you look at him — and see him grinning before he says:

“Me”.

You glare at Aemond with eyes wide and mouth agape, the expression frozen on your face for a good minute. 

“Are you laughing at me?” you manage to say.

“I wouldn’t dare,” his nerves are as tight as a wound-up string.

In the blink of a moment, your face lights up. You are looking at him indecisively, searching for words, agitated. But Aemond mistakes your confusion for rejection.

“At the very least you will marry someone you know,” he tries to reason — but it backfires, wiping the joyfulness off your face.

Taken aback, you inquire. “You pity me?” He doesn’t grasp the poor choice of his words yet.

“You pity me and that’s why you want to marry me?” you give him a look of disbelief, your eyes glossy, and he can’t get his head around what just happened.

“Oh, it was so silly of me to think that...,” you choke back a sob, putting your hand over your mouth.

Never in his life he thought he would be the reason for you looking so heartbroken. Aemond covers your hand with his palm — and you let him, as he tries to gather his courage.

“I only meant to say that I —”

And then you recoil, snapping your hand back.

“Aemond, don’t,” you take a step back from him, then another one. “You have said enough. Please, let me be,” you turn away and leave the hall in a hurry before he can utter another word.

... 1.

He finds you at your usual spot, under the blossoming cherry tree. You’ve always said you liked the color of it, little white flowers reminding you of early spring, your favorite time of the year. You don’t know that Aemond insisted on planting that tree specifically for you. Just so he can sit nearby and, as you were basking in the sunlight with your eyes closed, he would get a chance to look at you with all his unconditional love and have those moments engraved in his memory.

Come to think of it, he had so many memories of you — and every single one of them was bliss, and he can recall them so easily like it was yesterday.

And so he does.

“When we first met, you wore a green dress,” his voice startles you, but you don’t turn to face him, sniffling with your arms folded. “It was the color of forest trees. Black lace around the hem of it, the matching hair ribbon that you kept losing,” he keeps his distance, his hands shaking.

“Yes, I remember it pretty well,” you sigh, avoiding his gaze, baffled by his sudden outburst.

“The second time was when you climbed through my window, almost gave me a heart attack,” there’s a hint of a smile in his voice that you catch even without looking. “Blue dress, you tore a huge piece of it and couldn’t care less. You were the first person to make me laugh in two weeks even though it seemed impossible. But not with you.”

He sees your eyebrows furrowing, hands sliding down to rest on your knees.

“Helaena’s name day came next, your dress was bright pink. Luke tried to make fun of it and you threw a cup full of water in his face. To this day, it’s one of my fondest memories.”

You dare to look up at him, perplexed, your eyes wet from crying. 

“Three months after was the light-blue dress, then the peach one and the brown one. Then the white one which didn’t survive the horse riding lesson, and Helaena gave you one of hers. Light green, too long for your liking, even though you pretended otherwise to please her,” the corners of your lips tremble, your face softening.

“Then for a year you only wore violet, much to your nanny’s dismay as she thought it made you look ill. And I thought you were the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, no matter what dress you were in,” he can’t take his eye off you.

Your face expression melts into a stunned one.

“I didn’t realize it back then. Or maybe I didn’t know how to call it. I just knew that your visits only brought me happiness,” he takes a step toward you, uncertain, but you don’t move from your spot.

“When you were fourteen, you picked the autumn colors — orange, dark yellow, deep red. Your started braiding your hair, tried to braid mine,” you can’t hold back a smile. He was fussy when you first voiced the idea but he ended up loving the process so much, he would allow it just to feel your fingers flowing through his hair.

“I think you actually enjoyed it,” you mumble, and Aemond smiles, too.

“I did. I enjoyed every minute that I got to spend with you.”

You stand up then, feeling your pulse quickening.

“The day you brought me the eyepatch, you wore emerald green. I was terrified to show you the scar,” he pauses, catching his breath. “You assuaged my fears with your kindness. But then I was terrified to learn that I wanted to kiss you.”

You think you are dreaming. Is it possible that you fell asleep under the tree? You don’t want to get your hopes too high, but when he looks at you like this, your own fears start melting away.

“Then was the black dress, the grey one, another white one. The golden one you wore to meet Vhagar,” when he saw you that day, he almost forgot how to breathe. You showed no sigh of apprehension as you fearlessly approached the dragon. He was absolutely besotted.

“And then came the agony of not seeing you for over seven months,” he closes his eye for a second, overwhelmed. He almost misses it when you speak:

“Seven months and twenty-five days. Not that I was counting,” his eye snaps open, instantly on you again.

You gravitate toward each other without even noticing. Aemond’s heart skips a beat when you’re at arm’s length, your eyes shining and lips slightly parted. Even in the state you’re in, you look so beautiful, it’s mesmerizing, and the words are stuck in his throat. You are the one to break the silence.

“Aemond, please don't give me false hope,” your heartbeat is too loud, you don’t hear your own voice. He does.

“I do not wish to marry you out of pity,” Aemond takes the last step. “I want you to be my wife because I am in love with you,” he wipes away the remaining tears off your face, his fingers linger, making you shiver. “I’ve been in love with you for quite some time. For a few years, actually,” his voice gets low. “For what feels like an eternity,” Aemond murmurs.

“Why haven’t you told me?” you pout, nervously toying with the collar of his shirt.

“I was afraid you didn’t feel the same. I still am but maybe... Maybe I am wrong?” his gaze is fixed on you, one of his hands following the contour of your waist, your body warming at the touch.

“Tell me that I am wrong,” he whispers, begging.

You look at his lips, the soft curve of them that you’ve dreamt of for so long.

Aemond always thought yours were the most kissable he’s ever seen.

You don’t know who closes the distance first — but his mouth is suddenly on yours and the sensation leaves you disarmed. Kissing him is like being swept with a wave of tenderness, and you’re floating in it, his lips so fervid and supple — truly perfect — your head is spinning. The kiss is not awkward nor modest as you hastily cling to each other, his hands gripping your waist, your chest pressed into his.

Aemond feels like he’s drowning, and he wants more of you — all of you, and then your fingers tug at his locks, eliciting a groan from him, and it is simply a miracle that his heart doesn’t explode. You move in impeccable sync, in the passionate harmony that erupts from years worth of mutual pining. His lungs burn but he resists the urge to break the kiss and stretches it out the best he can until you are breathless, too.

“Never knew that you were so fascinated by my wardrobe choices,” you tease, and his hum turns into a chuckle.

“You know what my favorite memory is?” you ask, your forehead resting against his.

“When we were ten-and-three, and you were teaching me how to hold a sword. I tackled you to the ground and scraped my knee,” you both smile at your then enthusiasm. “And you set everything aside to spend the rest of the day with me even though it was hardly a wound. And I remember thinking,” you hook your finger under his chin, “that there’s nowhere else I would rather be than with you, with this favorite boy of mine.”

The air around you is tense, and you are enchanted by each other.

“Did that help to prove you wrong?”

“I may need some convincing,” his breath fans over your lips.

“You can take your time,” you laugh — and then the sound of it is muffled by his athirst mouth. His favorite memory will be this.

And every other moment with you that’s to come.

author’s note: I’m sorry if this came out messy and rushed. I tried my best to write a shorter fic (this is short for me lmao) and idk how I feel about it. I much rather prefer them longer because I’m a sucker for stories about two people getting to know each other and falling in love BUT I get it that others don’t want to read long ass fics (which kinda breaks my heart but I'm being so very brave about it) anyways, thank you for reading! 💙 the longer version of this fic might have looked like this (yes, this is a shameless plug! because I adore this one to pieces!! bite me) 🎵 the title is a quote from Elvis Presley’s song (duh). there are quite a few covers of it but one of my favorites is by Twenty One Pilots. there’s also a female version — by Ingrid Michaelson — and I think both of them fit the story really well. 💞 my masterlist P.S. I’m also on AO3 (lol, who isn’t), in case you prefer to read fics there.

English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes!

[makenna-made-this]

Feel like shit just want them back

[casualavocados]

…It's nice. You're so noisy. […] Actually, it'd be better if we died together. That way, neither of us would have to suffer the pain of losing the other, right? Shut up.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 13

[twilightkitkat]

Wade: Yuck, can you stop stinking up the house with your smoke?

Logan: *breathes out smoke from cigar* Will you stop hiding cocaine in our floorboards?

Wade: At least the cocaine gets me fucking high, cigars don't do shit.

Logan: What, you think your drug use is somehow superior to mine?

Wade: Yeah. I just finished off our stash but if you'd try it, I'd prove I was right.

Logan: Sure. *leans in and licks Wade's face to get the cocaine remnants*

Wade: What the fuck.

Logan: Fuck, you might be right. This shit is strong. But since I tried your drug, you should try mine. *kisses with the taste of whiskey and smoke in his mouth*

Wade: ...Shit. This is tough. I see the appeal now. Double check?

Logan: Make it triple.

Wade: Let's peer review this shit.