#never really understood birthdays
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pokemon-researcher-alexander Ā· 2 years ago
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[it's package time againā€”in fact, there's two of them!!! both show up in boxes instead of bryony's usual paper bundles. the larger one is addressed to alexander and tied with a dark green ribbon. there's a blanket inside, crocheted out of thick, soft, dark green yarn with tight stitches, tall enough to fully cover him once it's unfolded, wide enough that some PokĆ©mon can make themselves cozy too if he's willing to share. there's a rhododendron tree embroidered across the front of the blanket, wide and sprawling, taking up more space than not, with scattered petals at the bottom. the back is a bit of a mess and the branches are a little clumsily-done in places, but a lot of care has been put into the detail of the flowers; thicker yarn embroidered in for outlines, thinner thread for the detailing. look closely and there's a little leafeon sticking its head out from between the flowers! sitting on top of the bundle is a full-size instead of sample-size tin of slippery elm bark tea.
there's a handmade card, as usual, reading, "Hi Alexander! It turns out I WAS up to something suspicious!! I know your birthday is a mystery that I guess goes without celebration but I hope you will still accept this as some kind of equivalent gift. This was going to just be a throw blanket and then I realized maybe since you are so tall it is hard to find blankets that are the right size? I hope that is not presumptuous of me!! Thank you again so so much for the gift you sent me too, I know I said so before but it really is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. All this time and I still hardly know what to say! I really really am happy I get to be your friend though. I think I am so lucky that I got to meet you. Take care ok? I am always here if you need me. ā™” Bryony"
the other package is addressed to Sage, with a magenta ribbon wrapped around the whole thing. inside there's a crochet PokĆ©ballā€”done, of course, in magenta instead of red. it even opens, connected with magnets at the front, with extra loops of braided yarn at the top and bottom one could theoretically put paws through or grip with their teeth if a lack of opposable thumbs made opening it a struggle otherwise. the PokĆ©ball is stuffed and lined around the inside edges so it keeps its shape, but hollow inside otherwise. It's packaged with another tin, though, this one full of thin crocheted sachets in different colors with different floral patterns embroidered on them. each sachet has been filled with different dried herbs, matching the plants embroidered on the sachet, but there's a sheet of paper with a guide, too. the handmade card included with the whole thing says, "Hi Sage! Thank you very very much for the needles! That was so thoughtful of you. I made a little sachet for them and now my closet smells so fresh all the time! I thought you might like to have more nice-smelling things around too, but I was not sure what smells you might like best, so I picked out a whole bunch of herbs from the garden and thought I would let you pick! They should fit perfectly in the PokĆ©ball, and maybe you can share the ones you do not use. I hope it is easy enough to open and close. If it is too tough let me know or get Alexander to tell me and I will try again ok? Take care! ā™” Bryony"]
I can say with absolute certainty that, not only is this not presumptuous, it is the best gift Iā€™ve ever received. Too warm for a blanket this time of year, but Iā€™ll put it to good use in the colder seasons. (Iā€™ll also apologize in advance for all of the fur thatā€™ll end up on it.)
Sage was a bit hesitant about his gift, since he hates going into his PokĆ©ball so much, but one he realized it wasnā€™t a trap, he was all over it. I think the basilā€™s shaping up to be his favorite.
Thank you, Bryony.
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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat Ā· 7 months ago
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Its 2 am and im crying over a childhood friends dad who died when I was 13 or 14 so thats how my nights going
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rowanhoney Ā· 11 months ago
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#idk why I got hooked watching the couples therapy documentary#and itļæ½ļæ½ļæ½s so interesting#but now Iā€™m so glad I never let anything get serious that has so far come my way#Iā€™ve had involvements with people and Iā€™ve had my heartbroken aplenty.#but I donā€™t actually think any of those were losses#and Iā€™m glad Iā€™m picky af#god Pluto rly working hard on my Venus#i donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever experienced the approach to my birthday with such high self esteem#this time of year usually destroys me#but rn idk i feel like a person who does have so much love and others can actually see it now#I donā€™t feel so hidden or misunderstood as I used to#and that always brought me such a fear that I would never find the people I want around me#and that id always feel out of place#but Iā€™m feeling good Iā€™m feeling secure!!!#and im so glad Iā€™m picky . Iā€™ve dated too many people who tear me down in the hopes Iā€™d feel too low to leave them#and Iā€™ve had people who I adored or had a really great ongoing rapport with.#who may have understood me fundamentally. but our attitudes were so misaligned and I couldnā€™t sacrifice my values like that#and also that I tend to attract and be drawn to people with substance abuse struggles when that is my trauma and one thing I cant cope with#im glad Iā€™m a deeply reflective person and i understand myself and my situations so well actually#thinking again how Iā€™ve seen friends in either unhealthy or senseless relationships and i just#am so grateful for my own strengths fr fr
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acid-ixx Ā· 5 months ago
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ch.1: again &. again (platonic! yandere batfam x neglected! gn reader)
directory: preq, chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four
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read until the end for an author's note.
if there was one thing you hated more than the crime-filled streets of gotham, it would be empty promises.
when was the last time they attended your birthday? or your school ceremonies? or any special event that meant for you to be the center of attention?
plot twist, there was no last time, or a time before that or any day that they were there for you.
not your eldest brother, dick, not your dead brother, jason, of course tim wouldn't be there for you, damian's absence is a given, not even your sisters would come, and most especially not your father, bruce wayne.
you never wrote wayne as your last name. in every test, it would always be your mother's last name. in every document that you had to fill, you would violently scratch in the name of your father, wishing it wasn't required at all so you wouldn't have to hang your head in shame everytime someone looks at you incredulously for having the bruce wayne as your father but never once appearing to be with you.
you can't recall a time you had called him your dad, or even considered him as one.
if you could count the times you have seen him in person, it wouldn't even fill ten fingers. even interviewers and paparazzi have more luck in coming across him than you would, his child.
it sucks, really, how despite having nearly sharing the same age as tim, you never once saw him outside of his room. you thought you would've been the closest to him, but the most you have seen him was when you were watching the news with the "new" robin popping up, or worse; when bruce would be seen guiding tim through the paparazzi and not you. alfred had to drag you away from the tv that day because you were already suffering through a panic attack just seeing those two act so close; ripping your hair out just from watching the news wasn't a good way to cope.
you remember being so jealous of him, of how bruce would always spend time with him and not you. it made you wonder, were you special enough? tim is so brilliant, you could admit. and you were, too, having enough comprehensibility as a child to find out they were vigilantes a year or two after living in the manorā€” but you weren't good enough like tim. you weren't cut out to be like a detective or a fighter.
it was no wonder why bruce chose them over you.
it came to you in the form of talking to tim that had you discovering that no one ever mentions your name inside the house, proving it to be true when tim had hesitated calling your name and even stuttered through pronouncing it. and then he left after finding you were of no use to help him. alfred had to stifle your sobbing after tim left the room, allowing you to cry on his chest whilst you sat beside him.
(name) wayne was so, so lonely.
you would've accepted their absence long ago, but you were a stupid child who needed care and reassurance because your mother left you for good at the age of five. you were too naive into thinking you would receive the same love from your family just like the other kids in elementary would. you were a child who expected too highly of your father, thinking that he would pick you up from school with that picture perfect photographed smile of his and kiss your forehead and tell you that you did a great job at school today.
it was your teachers who would be the one having to walk you up the stage whenever you achieved an award. alfred would be too busy sometimes to attend your school ceremonies because he had to assist bruce with missions. of course, you understood his priorities. after all, he tried his hardest to make you feel less lonely inside the mansion, it wasn't enough but he was there at least.
it was long ago that you stopped praying for your family to attend at least one of your birthdays.
it's ironic, really, for a child to prep and plan for their own celebration just to hope that a single member of their family to even walk by the kitchen and join them in on their already lonesome celebration.
too bad everybody only goes to the kitchen when alfred cooks for them. who would want to taste sadness in a sloppily made birthday cake, right? nobody, not even you would have the appetite to eat your cake with the knowledge that it was you who had to put all the effort to bake it because you didn't want alfred to feel obligated to. knowing nobody would celebrate birthdays with you, save for alfred, it was expected that you started to prefer cupcakes.
because then you wouldn't be scolded for making such a mess.
you never cooked family meals after the incident where nobody came and to not waste food, you had to bring in large containers to bring to school so you could celebrate your birthday there.
it was there that you find more solace in your small group of friends compared to the desolate rooms of the mansion. your family celebrates holidays together as a whole, but you never once attended after that one time where everybody had forgotten to get you a gift for christmas, save for alfred who gave you a bracelet (one that you cherished deeply). you only smiled weakly and hopelessly, sneaking into your room before the family dinner.
it was alfred again who bought you leftovers and sat on your bed for an hour to encourage you that there's still more christmas's to go.
you never believed what he said. not anymore.
there was a period of time where you hated them more than anything, blamed them for everything and became more rebellious, purposely failing tests, fighting your classmates and disrespecting teachers in hopes that for once your father would bat an eye on you. that only resulted in you being taken out of the school and being transferred into another, for a behavioral reform is what alfred stated to you when you annoyed him for answers.
damian started to bully you a bit more harder after that incident, calling you immature and childish, a weakling, an attention seeker. how someone at your age should've known better. you were convinced that he was relishing in the heartbroken glare you gave him, ignoring the way his eyes widened momentarily at your reaction before sneering and walking away.
alfred gently scolded you, but you were too choked up and instead you almost tripped running inside your bedroom, locking yourself in for what seems like hours.
you don't want to remember the immense breakdown you had that evening too, screaming on your blankets and destroying your things and hurting yourself because... because you had lost your old friends for nothing! your caring teachers, your academic progress, everything! every single thing for an ounce of attention! because he didn't have enough energy to come with you to the guidance counselor and he only had you transfer out so you wouldn't ruin the wayne's reputation!
you hate him, you hate bruce fucking wayne so much and you hate clinging onto their empty promises and sorry's to make it up for you. you hate how their promises were never even said directly to you, you hate how alfred was your only source of hope for a medium of communication.
you hate them all.
and worst of all, you hate yourself for drowning in hope. for wishing you were physically stronger so you could at least bond with them through training. for dreaming about a day where they could surprise you and told you they were just testing you and that you actually had worth inside this manor. for praying nightly that they'll smile at you like the heroes you see in tv rather than that of pity.
you wished there was a universe where gotham was safer, more protected with no criminals littering the streets. maybe then they would have more time to notice you crying every night, writing self destructive entries in your diary, sketching what would've been a happy family. they wouldn't have to wear their silly costumes to fight crime and instead would save you from your own demons.
if...
if you were brutally tortured and killed by the joker, or forced to choke on the fear toxin by the scarecrowā€” hell, even beaten to near death by some random goons; would they have given you a sliver of their love? would they finally look at you and save you from yourself?
because despite your resentment, you would never lie and say you didn't feel blessed that you were thrown to a family of talented individuals.
your drawings of a complete and happy family holding hands together and a diary filled with rants and fantasies of spending time with them proved just that.
you were blessed with them yet cursed at the same time to never reach the same level to be even considered part of their lives.
you were hopeless. you never amounted to anything. you were just, you.
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thirteen years have passed by then, and in those years you were proud to say your development as a person, albeit slow, transformed you from a child that succumbed to neglect to an independent person who managed to maintain a comfortable circle of friends, a scholarship for a college far away from gotham, and an apartment of your own (you were a bit in debt due to having to pay for your own because no way in hell would you ask for your father for financial support).
allowance was scarce, your food supplies weren't infinite compared to back when you were living at the wayne manor, and you weren't greeted to michelin star restaurant meals cooked by alfredā€” but you were content, and that was enough.
though content translated to nightly breakdowns whilst finishing projects or writing essays, the point still stands! at least you had celebrated your eighteenth birthday with drunk smiles and your friends spoiling you to death when you had opened up about your first lonely years of life. everything was going well for you, truly.
you were so, so happy for the nice turn of events. and you wouldn't have made it so far if you hadn't slapped yourself out of the delusion that they actually cared for you.
look at you now! independent and with a life of your own! you'd give yourself a pat in the back.
you hadn't blocked them at all, but their contacts were empty (save for a few desperate messages that date back years ago) and you were fine with that. it's not like tim or bruce or barbara considered you important enough to be stalked. hah, as if!
alfred communicates with you time to time, reminding you to eat a complete meal rather than those one dollar priced noodles that tasted like pure salt. he told you he misses you a lot, you and your annoying, daily rants about life and school. he misses your awkward smile and when you would help him cook whenever the others aren't around. he misses it when you imitate his posh accent when you taste test his food and give commentary about it.
you miss him, too. growing up, you realized just how much effort alfred would exert just to spend a lot of his time on you.
now, he told you that you are still welcome to the manor whenever, and how he cleans your room weekly in case you'll visit him.
whenever you audio call with him, you'd tear up just a bit at the realization that alfred was more of a father figure than your own biological father. because he at least attended your graduation to make up for the other times he was unable to join you.
what's even better was that he gifted you something you had always wanted for your birthday. despite it being delivered to your door rather than him giving it to you face to face (since you had refused to give him your location and him respecting that decision at least), the heartfelt letter he left you was more than enough to let you cling onto pieces of your past. after all, it was him who greeted you by the door when you were first introduced into the family, bruce being too busy with paperwork that day when you were a measly five year old.
you had started to teasingly call him 'alfie' and a few more nickname after that, which results with a chuckle over the phone every time you had come up with a cheesy name for him whenever you get a wee bit irritated at his own way of making fun of you.
if only this was your life years ago, then maybe you wouldn't have been jealous of all your other friends and pushed them away that day, maybe you would learn that sometimes, family comes in the form of the people outside of your house rather than inside.
that reminds you, maybe you should reconnect with your old friends back in elementary and apologized for your sudden explosive behavior.
you were laying on your bed, phone in hand and opened your inst*gram app to stalk through the names you could remember. well... that was what you should've done, if not for the fact that a notification popped up the very moment you pressed on the search bar and you had accidentally opened a chat with your oldest brother, dick.
you would've ignored the desperate messages you have sent him from the past which all varied from inviting him to eat dinner with you or to at least join you to play in an arcade or anything to convince him to talk to you, all of which were unseen, if not for the fact that it was him who sent you a sudden "hey baby bird!!! <333 long time no see! how are you?!" message, alongside a few more replies that spammed through your phone...
oh!
... that was enough to make you sit up and want to hurl.
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dick grayson was a man of many talents. the mature eldest child, the ideal good leader despite his anger issues from time to time, and the same guy who set the standards high for the future robins. he is bruce's greatest achievement.
it was safe to say that if not for the support of many, then he would've suffered so many falls and would've never been strong enough to stand up despite the pain and continue his fights. nightwing was what many superheroes strive to be, an image of light in a grove of darkness such as gotham.
so why was it that he felt like he has failed so deeply right now?
inside your room, dick stands with furrowed brows. it felt too clean to look used. your furniture was polished and look untouched, the lights were too bright and the windows were bolted shut. there were no signs of life other than the notebooks and sketchbooks that were neatly tucked on the middle of the bed and the trinkets that scatter through your desk.
dick stalks through the room, careful to not make a noise as he walks over to the closet, opening it and finding nothing.
he bites his lips at the implication that this was probably the second time he visited your room and how it was also the longest time he remained here. compared to his other siblings, you were the one he noticed the least and... now he feels bad for dismissing you.
didn't he promise to take you out for dinner months ago?
damn it, he was way too focused on his mission that night and ended up ditching and forgetting you! oh god, dick facepalmed and clenched his teeth, seething in some air because no fucking way did he actually remember to feed damian's dog, titus, the same day but forgot to take you out for an important event...
it occurred to him that that was the same day you scored a perfect on "the hardest test of my life!" you had bragged to him awkwardly when he wasn't listening nor looking and you, wanting to celebrate what was a small achievement for dick, chose him to spend time with you!
dick had to carefully breath through his mouth then gulp down the shame he feels right now. he- he has no time to focus on the past but rather the present. he has to find out why the hell is your room so lifeless, yeah... then he'll make it up to you today, definitely.
huh?
is it just him, but why does the room seem so small? it looked like it was meant to be for a kid. clearly, there wasn't enough space for a growing individual like you... did bruce not provide you with a bigger bedroom? ah, dick would definitely tell bruce to relocate you to a bigger room, the current one is too small for even a dog in a manor to sleep in.
dick doesn't want to admit it at all, but... he hasn't seen you for the past few months, or not all, really. sure, he had only recently visited the manor since he's bludhaven's vigilante now, but even through his time in gotham he had never seen you other than the times you pulled his sleeves from back when you were a child.
back when you were a child.
how old are you now? you were so small back then, innocent too. he can recall your curious eyes, your chubby cheeks and the way you stutter through your words as you try to talk to him.
you were significantly younger than jason, and was adopted a week before tim was introduced to the family. he remembers you peeking through alfred's back, gleaming with curiousity and whispering to the butler if it was really the dick grayson. he smiled fondly at your dumbfounded expression, the way your mouth shaped into an "ohh," when he was the one who answered that, yes, it was him. then you whispered again if you can take have an autograph from him, to which he chuckled and told alfred that he'll help accompany you to your room.
when your five year old body tried to waddle closer to his body for an ounce of warmth when he had been guiding you up the stairs, that was also the first time he called you baby bird, with the way you coddled him so closely. his hands find itself patting your head, ruffling your hair and grinning as you both make your path through the halls.
he comes to immediately regret leaving you alone after he had introduced you to your room, remembering his duties as a vigilante than that of a brother.
but despite his early memories of you, he wants to see his baby sibling all grown up now.
had it really been years?
when was the last time you ever had a full-on conversation with him?
was there even a time that he had approached you by himself?
he had always called you baby bird after the first time you meet because of the age gap you two shared. the rare times he acknowledges you, you gave him that look filled with such adoration, like you were proud of him for being your older brother. why did he not notice you?
oh, his baby bird...
dick gulped, trying to ease his shivering by sitting on your neatly folded blankets and taking a worn diary in his hand, one at the bottom stack of books. well, if it was a personal diary then maybe you would've hidden it better, right? he figures since it was all placed on the center of the bed like a piece of treasure that... it would be alright to take just a glimpse.
to confirm if you still see him as your favorite brother.
dick's heartbeat spiked, hoping your entries would be filled with, he doesn't know, anything that didn't implicate some sort of hatred for the family, for him. hoping that despite his lack of attention towards you, that there would still be a spark of love for him. if what he thinks was actually true then... he doesn't know what to do with himself.
he flips through the first page, noting how it was bulkier than the others. the paper was filled with glittery decorations, sequence beads and cheap stickers sparkling at every angle the light hits. it was meant to be a design for the 'front cover' of the notebook, colors blended in a cacophony of rainbows and butterflies and flowers beyond the messy calligraphy that merely states "(name)'s diary!"
dick stifles a grin just from skimming through at the amount of mistakes and erasures, clearly written by the the younger version of you; naive to the world and its cruelty. he commends your creativity, his eyes softening at the few doodles that were written on the corners of the pages.
you're just too adorable for your own good, so much so that the thumping in dick's heart beats louder and louder, ears wringing uncomfortable inside your unventilated bedroom. but he just couldn't rip his eyes away from the diary, daydreaming about how proud you must've been when designing your own diary. he could picture your wide eyes, shy and harmless, and your feet kicking back and forth whilst you decorate your stuff.
everything was what he expected it to be on the first few pages of the diary. all your little rants about your daily life, your eargerness to meet your entire family from your father's side, and the hurt you experienced from your mother's sudden abandonment.
he would've skipped through another diary, one that lacked design and color, save for the name plastered on the front, if not for the grim undertones at every end of your entries despite the child-like manner it was written in.
it all started with "i wish to see my father soon and my big brother dick again!", "alfred told me my father can't come to the parent-teacher conference, he says he's in a veryyy important meeting :( but alfred would come!", "dick told me he can't help me with my science project but he promise he'll help me with something else later!" which halfway through the diary, your style fluctuates and lesser effort was exhausted on the writing.
one entry in particular, written on the last page of your diary, shattered a sliver of hope within dick, his breathing momentarily ceased from reading through your sentences; uncharacteristic of you, too mature for someone at the age of ten to write.
"XX/XX/XXXX.
dear diary, it's my tenth birthday today. i celebrated with my friends at school. they told me i always look down whenever it's my birthday. they think that bruce would throw a fancy celebration for me. i tried to hide my laughter from them. it's a really funny joke. i haven't seen him for months. i told dick that he was invited but i don't think he remembers it's my birthday today. alfred told me to come out of my room, he said he cooked my favorite dinner, that he's sorry he got my present late, but i don't want get out of my room. i heard dick is gonna watch a movie with tim later. i don't feel so good, my chest hurts, but i don't want to get out right now.
i'll eat the cupcake tomorrow."
it had been nearly two hours since dick had sat on your bed, eyes dilating whilst reading through your first diary. the cold season had already pricked his skin, but his entire body felt so unnaturally warm, a warmth that scorches him, searing deep into flesh. a lump had form in his throat, accompanying the hellish throbbing of his heart.
"fuck..." he brought his fingers to his head, carefully massaging his forehead but it relieves nothing. he wants to see you right nowā€” he needs to talk to you. god, he has to apologize, he needs to see what you look like right now, needs to know if you're alright.
you're clearly not.
he has to oppress the urge to punch the walls, reminding himself that it's your room he's in and if he damages your already delicate property, then he's proving himself worse than he already is.
he rushes to grab another diary, the one at the top of the pile, skipping to the end of the page.
nothing. all the entries were months ago, all written in vague detail like you were starting to hide secrets. his teeth grinds against each other, frustration seeping through his veins.
he needs toā€” shit, he needs to find you right now. he needs to find his baby bird and make up for the all bullshit him and his family had done. if you were gone for months, even years; he doesn't even want to think about it.
but how?!
there were no signs of you. anything written your diary, your drawings, the trinkets on your bedside tableā€” they signal no clues whatsoever, all dating back to months, even years. it's not possible at all, for nobody to notice your disappearance. dick would've noticed sooner. he should've noticed sooner. oh, he doesn't even want to think about the dangers that await you outside the mansion. with how naive you were about the outside world, you wouldn't last at all.
his baby bird wouldn't survive gotham's streets, especially not when winter was nearing.
think, grayson, think...
his phone!
he immediately reaches into his pockets to grab his phone, clammy fingers swifly encoding his password and opening his contacts.
your number was the quickest to find, it was the only one without an icon of you and an endearing nickname. he makes a mental note to change that soon and replaced your default name to your nickname.
then, without hesitation, he typed, "hey baby bird!!! <333 long time no see! how are you?!" sending the message without rereading, foot tapping impatiently against the floor as he scrolls through all your previous messages.
messages that he should've replied to with the same level of enthusiasm as you. skimming through the past, unseen texts as your motivation began to dwindle the further he refused to reply back. he promises he'll never make you feel invisible again.
seconds feel like hours for him, as he blows raspberries to pass the time, too concentrated an ounce of a reply to even notice the entirely new presence inside the room.
it's alright to call you, yes? after all, dick just wanted to check in with his baby bird and see if you're doing swell and dandy and... safe without him...!
his thumbs pressed on the call button before he could think through his actions, his other hand runs through his hair, sweat running down his forehead as if he had ran a marathon.
he waited, and waited, and waited until the call beeped and provided its automated response. he calls you again but the line immediately cuts off, he tries to spam you with more messages but they weren't delivered.
you blocked him.
fuck, he messed up big time. he needs to get to the batcave. he needs to find your fucking location before it's too late. dick needs to see you again before he loses it.
but before he could carefully place your sketchbooks back to its rightful place, he sees a silhouette at the corner of his eyes; short figure, arms crossed, and a sneer on his eyes already tells him who it was.
damian wayne.
he forgot to train with damian today.
but it doesn't matter, damian has to see it for himselfā€” what made dick so disheveled, so delirious. damian has to finally see just how much of a wonderful sibling you are.
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reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: this was 4,600+ words and it drained the energy out of me. it was supposed to be posted tomorrow but i was too motivated !! i'm also quite proud of this chapter. it was a pain characterizing dick grayson and the reader. i really hope this is as good as the prequel because it's 3am right now and writing dick's part was a pain in the ass ^^' as always, please do comment or send asks if you like it for quicker updates!!!
taglist: @lilyalone, @secretomelettetroops, @earlqurl, @simpingfor-wakasa, @amber-content, @alishii, @ruiroku, @okaybutfullhomo, @trasshy-artist, @obsessedwithromance, @deadinside-09, @jjsmeowthie, @fairy-lenaa (shoutout to her specifically because i got motivated from their comment!)
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seiwas Ā· 27 days ago
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you're the reason (i got a weakness) | miya atsumu
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wc: 2.9k
summary: itā€™s not that atsumu doesn't like you dressing up like thisā€”in fact, he loves it. just not when you're fighting. not when he can't even call you "baby".
contains: post-timeskip atsumu, arguments and atsumu feeling really sorry, flashbacks, uses the nickname ā€œbabyā€ & ā€œmy loveā€, reader is described as ā€œprettyā€ and wears heels, hurt/comfort.
a/n: atsumu isnā€™t a sucky boyfriend he just gets carried away sometimes. song inspo: can you blame me? - kehlani, lucky daye.
part of the in's and out's new year/birthday event | request prompt: making yourself look good to feel good (your partner has something to say to you)
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sponsored by @itskilau and @tasoyoru for the @ficsforgaza initiative. please check it out and support if you can!
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ā€œBabā€”ā€
Atsumu lingers by your bathroom door, eyes drooping lower and sadder than they ever have. The steam makes the bleached strands of his hair cling to his forehead, his thick eyebrows now damp and flattened.Ā 
You sigh, the big, heavy, and deep kind, shoulders dropping as you clasp the lock of your necklace.
He stares.Ā 
Thatā€™s his job. You always ask him to do it the moment you step out of the shower.Ā 
His lip trembles, eyes watery.
ā€œNot now, Atsumu.ā€
You walk past him as you adjust the towel around your chest, your arm brushing against his. Itā€™s a small thing, a sensation ingrained so deeply into the past two years youā€™ve been together, but he feels it like itā€™s the first time you ever touched himā€”and in a way, it is. Since yesterday, at least.Ā 
The silence that trails after you is so deafeningly still, he thinks he can hear his heart breaking.Ā 
ā€œAtsumu,ā€ your voice rings.Ā 
Who the hell is ā€œAtsumuā€?Ā 
Heā€™s not supposed to be ā€œAtsumuā€ to you. Heā€™s ā€œTsum.ā€ Heā€™s ā€œbaby.ā€ Heā€™s ā€œmy love.ā€
Anything but ā€œAtsumu.ā€
When you close the door of your walk-in closet to change, the metaphorical volleyball of hope floating right into the palm of his hand misses and drops straight to the floor.Ā 
It started with volleyball, as all things with Atsumu do.Ā 
Youā€™d met him at the rise of his career, just a few years of him being pro. You were friends first, but if you ask anyone around Atsumu, theyā€™d tell you you were never just a friend to him; heā€™d invited you to all his games and practice matches, spent a bit more time in the locker rooms before going out for dinner with you and the rest of the team.Ā 
Osamu has the receipts of all the extra orders of onigiri Atsumu started adding to his regular weekly subscription since meeting you.Ā 
Your first ā€˜dateā€™ was Atsumu treading the very fine line between teaching you how to play volleyball and teaching himself self-control. Keeping an eye on the ball is hard enough, what more when he has to resist staring at you in very cute volleyball shorts too?Ā 
As MSBYā€™s success skyrocketed, so did Atsumuā€™sā€”brand deals left and right, solo work trips during off seasons, commercials; the whole thing. When Atsumu wasnā€™t training, he was either travelingĀ  or attending events and photoshoots. Always on-the-go. Moving.Ā 
And he knew you understood, knew you knew him and his tendencies to overwork; knew him, and his habit of getting stuck inside his own world. Youā€™d driven to late practices with bento boxes to share, and youā€™d packed his gym bag more than a few times, brought in extra clothes without him having to say a word.
Youā€™ve managed his lifestyle better than anyone could.
But, Atsumu has a bad habit of promising more than he should, of serving white lies just as easily as he does volleyballs behind the service line.Ā 
ā€œWonā€™t take long, baby. Swear it,ā€ he holds on to the wall by your door, slipping his feet inside his dress shoes. ā€œPick ya up at 6:00?ā€Ā 
Heā€™d winked at you then, kissed you between your eyebrows and nose before sneaking one more right at that spot underneath your ear.
What heā€™d give to be able to do that right now.Ā 
ā€œOkay,ā€ you giggle, swatting his chest as you nod, ā€œbetter hurry then, you might be late.ā€Ā 
When Atsumu remembers that moment, the way youā€™d agreed so doubtlessly, he hates himself even more. You trusted him, have trusted him so wholeheartedly this entire time, so maybe youā€™re rightā€”
ā€œWould it hurt for you to just be honest?ā€Ā 
ā€”Atsumu has no excuse standing you up on the date he promised you weeks ago all because he lost track of time in some brand event, listening to a potential collaboration on volleyball shoes. Atsumu has no excuse agreeing to ā€œsome drinksā€ right after just to meet the executives of the company.Ā 
There are meetings for those things, ones that can be scheduled and agreed upon. Ones that donā€™t compromise or add on to the already long list of missed dates with you.Ā 
ā€œI know youā€™re busy and I understand,ā€ you sigh, turning the knob of the kitchen stove as you heat up the kettle, ā€œyou know I do.ā€Ā 
He stands before you a quarter past 11:00 p.m., cologne long faded and the smell of alcohol spilled on his sleeve. The kitchen island stands like a net on the court, the ball being sent over to his side.Ā 
ā€œBaby, Iā€”ā€
He passes it back.
You turn from the stove, face fresh and hair tied into a messy low bun as you look at himā€”how could he have ever stood thisā€“youā€“up?
You take the ball, ā€œCan I finish what I have to say first?ā€Ā 
He nods. The kettle begins whizzing.
ā€œIā€™m happy and so, so proud that you have all these opportunities,ā€ you reach for the cupboard above head to grab a mug. The box of tea bags sits to your right, a mix of Lemon Balm and Chamomile that Atsumu swears keeps his anxieties at bay during the night. ā€œBut at least tell me if you canā€™t make it.ā€Ā 
You tear open a tea packet, dangling it inside the mug. The kettle whistles, and he feels the onset of a spike.Ā 
ā€œPlease donā€™t keep my hopes up every time.ā€Ā 
You turn back towards the stove, turning the burner off as you pour in the steaming water inside the mug.Ā 
ā€œBaby, I swear, they justā€“they started talkinā€™ ā€˜bout these shoes, ā€˜n I thought tā€™was cool, ā€˜n the execsā€“they said the execsā€™d be there in the afterparty, andā€”ā€ he breathes, ā€œwonā€™t happen next time, baby. ā€˜M soā€”ā€Ā 
ā€œCan I really believe you next time?ā€
You approach the kitchen island slowly, holding the piping hot mug carefully as you set it down in front of him.Ā 
Atsumu stood you up on your date, and you still made him tea.Ā 
You hold his stare for a brief moment before you walk away, sadness and disappointment all-in-one.
It is now that Atsumu knows, heā€™s fucked up.
The ball lands on his side of the court.Ā 
And so, heā€™s spent this entire day trying to make it up to youā€”breakfast in the morning, right before training (which he absolutely tanked because all he could think about was how sad you looked the night before); flowers that he brought home after lunch time, just to find the apartment empty. Itā€™s only after a full text thread and three missed calls to your phone that he finally gets a response.
ā€œNail appointment. Going out tonight,ā€ is your reply (using speech-to-text too, he suspects, with how formal it sounds).Ā 
Which is fine and dandy to him; you should do everything that makes you feel better after he practically took you for granted. Itā€™s justā€”he hasnā€™t even said sorry yet, canā€™t even call you ā€œbabyā€, canā€™t even touch you even though he really, really, really wants to.Ā 
And now, with you closing the door on him while youā€™re changingā€”thereā€™s nothing else he can do, really, but to walk away and give you some space.Ā 
He shifts his feet, dragging them lightly against the wooden floors of your bedroom.
The moment he hears the door of your walk-in closet slide open, he hurriedly sits down on the edge of your bed, acting as if he wasnā€™t just anxiously pacing, waiting for you to come out.Ā 
He feels like shit, if heā€™s being honestā€”like how he does when he misses a serve; if not, worse.Ā 
You look good. Make-up done to only emphasize the features he loves (which is your entire face, really), and your outfit perfectly accentuating the dips and curves of your body.Ā 
He follows you as you exit the room, tailing after you like a lost puppy. When you stop by your entryway, all he can do is watch as you bend down to put on the straps of your heels. And it sucks, because if you werenā€™t fighting, Atsumu would be right by your feet, crouched low so that you wouldnā€™t have to.Ā 
Itā€™s pathetic and a little helpless of him to just stand and stare in the middle of your living room. He should say something at least, but, you just look so good, and his throat feels dry; his heart all achy and stomach twisty.Ā 
He doesnā€™t want to be away from you.Ā 
And itā€™s not that he doesnā€™t like you going out looking like thisā€”he loves it. But as soon as you step out the door with a soft ā€œdonā€™t wait up for meā€ mumbled from your glossed lips, Atsumu can only taste bitter regret at the fact that he wishes he were coming with you.Ā 
He couldnā€™t even give you a goodbye kiss.Ā 
The blond groans, pulling at his hair as he rests his elbows down on the kitchen counter.Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t wait up for me,ā€ you said. As if he can even sleep without you around.Ā 
.
.
.
The hours go by but they feel like days. Atsumuā€™s done every possible thing he can do in this apartment and it still hasnā€™t breached 11:00 p.m.. Heā€™s cleaned down the kitchen (twice!) and arranged the food inside the fridge like those ā€˜stock up my fridge with meā€™ tiktoks heā€™s seen on Sakusaā€™s phone. The clothes on his side of the closet have been arranged by color and length, with all the ones in his dresser refolded, Marie Kondo style. Heā€™s also pretty sure heā€™s scrubbed the bathroom down enough that you can probably see your reflection on the tiles of the damn thing. The laundry baskets for both your clothes are now empty, and heā€™s changed the bedsheets too andā€”
Heā€™s still restless. The numbers on the clock taunt him, moving up agonizingly slowly. He canā€™t stop looking at the time, itching for you to come home.Ā 
Atsumu is sorry, so so so incredibly so, because youā€™re rightā€•he hasnā€™t been fair to you at all, and he needs you to know that he knows it, too.Ā 
His eyes go over the clock again, only a minute having passed since the last time he checked it.Ā 
Is this how you felt? Every time you waited for him to come home for a date he promised you?Ā 
He squeezes his eyes; it hurts him just thinking about it.Ā 
Thatā€™s it, he decides, grabbing his phone and wallet as he walks out the door.Ā 
.Ā 
.
.
Atsumu doesnā€™t check your location often (maybe only a few times). Itā€™s not a trust thing, he swears; itā€™s just for when he wants to make sure youā€™re somewhere safe, or in a place he can reach you should you need him there.Ā 
And, you clearly donā€™t need him right now, but, Atsumu is a little selfish, he admits.Ā 
Sitting at home with all his regret feels worse than seeking you out to beg for your forgiveness, whether you want him to or not.Ā 
Heā€™s barely dressed for the venue as he steps inside the bar, a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt with those fashionable Birkenstock clogs on. A few people seem to recognize him, tilting their heads and murmuring among themselves as he walks through door, but none of them approach him, thankfully, except for a server asking if he needs assistance.Ā 
His eyes scan the tables first, searching for any semblance of the outfit heā€™d seen you leave in earlier. The dim lights make it increasingly difficult for him to look for your properly as he squints his eyes some more, narrowing his vision to the people at the front bar this time. Itā€™s after the fourth person he dismisses that he feels himself getting desperate, nearly turning towards the server beside him to ask for help.
Until he spots youā€”tucked in the corner of the front bar, sitting on the barstool with your legs crossed as you swirl around your drink.Ā 
You look bored, and a little sad, chin resting in your hand as you lean your elbow on the table.Ā 
He frowns, thanking the server on the side as he makes his way to you slowly. You barely notice him as you bring out your phone, tapping on the screen as you stare at it almost longinglyā€•a photo of you and him some time ago after one of his games. He knows it well, can still remember that day so clearly: when he became a PR nightmare because he couldnā€™t help but announce your relationship by kissing you in front of everybody.Ā 
It makes his chest hurt.Ā 
Then, you swipe it open, and heā€™s close enough now to be able to catch a glimpse of whatā€™s on your screen: your text thread with him, his last message being, ā€œDid you make it safely?ā€Ā 
(You pout, eyes pricking with tears. You didnā€™t reply to him then because you werenā€™t ready to fully talk to him yet, still upset and disappointed.Ā 
It was easy to make yourself feel better by dressing up and stepping out of the apartment earlier, the promise of good drinks and good company awaiting your arrival; you couldnā€™t think about how you felt if you were busying yourself with others. But now that all of those feelings have died down and most of your friends have started chatting up other people theyā€™ve found, itā€™s beginning to hit you all at once just how much you still prefer Atsumuā€™s company more than anything else.
Your fingers hover over your text box, typing and deleting. Typing and deleting.)Ā 
Heā€™s two stools away from you now, and he can barely contain itā€•
ā€œBaby,ā€ his voice trembles, unsteady.Ā 
Recognition fills you as you turn to the sound, half-confused at whether youā€™re hearing things; whetherā€•
(ā€œTsum,ā€ you mutter, eyes catching a pair of familiar warm brown staring back at you. His bottom lip quivers, the embodiment of a dam starting to crack, vibrating.
Your emotions are a mess, your breath on hold as you feel tears welling up in your lashline too. You still feel upset, still a little sad, and a tiny bit disappointed, but what coats them all is a sense of relief becauseā€”)
ā€•heā€™s here, standing in front of you like he just rolled out of the house with barely enough time to get dressed (which, youā€™re sure is exactly how things went), and youā€™re sliding off the bar stool in the prettiest outfit, looking like the prettiest thing heā€™s ever seen.Ā 
ā€œā€˜M so sorry,ā€ he breathes out, stepping closer as he grabs your hand, ā€œDonā€™t ever wanna make yā€™feel like that again.ā€ His knee gives way as he starts sinking to the floor, ā€œI wonā€™t do that anymoreā€•ā€Ā 
ā€œTsum,ā€ you try to call his attention.
Heā€™ll beg for your forgiveness whether you like it or not.Ā 
(The interaction is causing nearby tables to look, murmurs and whispers in your periphery as you catch vague sentences here and there. He still is a public figure, after all.)Ā 
But Atsumu is unaware, looking at you and you alone as he pleads, ā€œNo, please hear me out first. I promise Iā€™ll tell ā€˜em they can speak ā€˜taā€•ā€Ā 
ā€œTsum,ā€ you squeeze his hand, whispering more firmly as you try to pull him up.Ā 
ā€œBaby, please. Gimme the chance ā€˜ta show ya that Iā€•ā€
(You look around and notice even more eyes on the two of you, fond looks on their faces as they prepare their phones for what seems like something momentous. Then it hits you, how this looksā€•)
ā€œTsum, please stand up,ā€ you tug at his hand strongly, urging him to stand. His eyebrows furrow as he obliges, only comprehending why when you explain it to him softly, ā€œpeople were starting to think you were about to propose.ā€Ā 
He pauses for a moment, a slight, ā€œOh,ā€ as he ponders on it. ā€œWell, if thatā€™s whatā€™ll prove it tā€™ya, thenā€”ā€Ā 
You roll your eyes, the corners of your lips curling slightly as you hit his shin with your foot and squeeze his hand again, ā€œDonā€™t joke about things like that.ā€Ā 
Well, itā€™s not the first time itā€™s crossed his mind, if heā€™s being honest.Ā 
He sighs, sitting on the stool beside you as he rubs his thumb over your hand again, bringing it close to his lips to kiss softly.Ā 
ā€œā€˜M really sorry, baby,ā€ he mumbles against your skin before moving your hand over his heart. ā€œDonā€™t ever want ya feelinā€™ like this again.ā€Ā 
ā€œI know,ā€ you give him a small smile, patting down some of the strands of his hair that stick out, ā€œyou didnā€™t have to come out here though, you know. I was about to go home soon, anyway.ā€Ā 
ā€œCan ya blame me? Seeinā€™ ya off like that?ā€ he grips your hand tighter as his voice softens. ā€œYā€™re too pretty to be sad,ā€ he plays with your fingers, intertwining them with his.
You hit his shin again, feeling shy. You always do when Atsumu likes to sweet-talk you.Ā 
ā€œDo ya forgive me?ā€ he asks after some time, as you take the last few sips of your drink.Ā 
You hum, looking him in the eyes as you nod, pouting, ā€œI donā€™t like being mad at you, you know.ā€ He lights up, beaming, but you add on, ā€œWe still have to talk about it properly, though. Later, when we get back.ā€Ā 
He nods in agreement, holding your hand as you slide off the barstool, guiding you out of the bar and into the car.Ā 
.Ā 
.
.
(You both do talk about it properly, and the next time Atsumu promises you a date, he blocks it out of all of his calendars, sending the date to his manager even, just to be extra sure.)Ā 
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a/n: this has been such a long time coming, i'm sorry to those who waited! i hope you enjoyed even though this simmered with me for way too long šŸ˜­ i love writing atsumu a little lovesick but i also think he deserves someone who is equally as in deep as he is šŸ„ŗ
thank you notes: to šŸ§ anon for helping me figure out "what would make you mad at atsumu?" and to @ceroseis and @mieiri for always listening to my shenanigans pre-writing!
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comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ā™”
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breadbrobin Ā· 11 months ago
Text
call it what you want
luke castellan x reader ā€” percy jackson and the olympians
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[fem!daughter of aphrodite reader]
summary: he fell first, you fell harder, and all at once.
warning: tooth-rotting fluff. literally i think thatā€™s it itā€™s just sickeningly cute
word count: 2.1k
(the luke brainrot is so real i wrote this at like 4am last night plsss)
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
luke castellan thought you could have hung the stars in the sky. he wouldnā€™t know any different, nor would he care to find out. in his mind, you were perfect. the most perfect, in fact.
there was one person that no one could hate at camp, and that was you. a friend to all whoā€™d have you, a sister to those who needed you, and whatever you were to luke.
not even you understood the nature of your relationship with him.
years of friendship slowly became changed, twisted, slightly more than youā€™d bargained for. it was a happy change. realising you were in love with luke castellan was an ever-continuous processā€”a little one day, a little more another. but for lukeā€¦ gods, realising he was in love with you came as easy as breathing. every smile on your lips, every laugh, every surreptitious look across rooms set his heart aflame. fluttering, dancing, swirling.
it wasnā€™t like you didnā€™t love him. you did. you surely did. but time hadnā€™t been kind to your heart and children of aphrodite have never been truly lucky in love. helping others achieve their loves was more common. more often than not, you and your siblings were happy with just that.
ā€œanyone you got your eye on?ā€ you asked one day as you sat with luke on the dock. your bare feet dangled into the water, toes just touching the cool surface.
ā€œmaybe. maybe not. when are you leaving?ā€ he avoided the question, gazing out at the water and squinting in the glare of the sun.
ā€œtwo weeks. iā€™m staying for my birthday this year.ā€ you looked over at him. ā€œyou can tell me who it is, you know? i wonā€™t laugh, i promise.ā€
he shot you an exasperated look. ā€œwhat makes you think there is someone, princess?ā€
you lean over and nudge his arm teasingly, missing the blush on his face. ā€œyouā€™ve been distracted lately. quiet. you smile more though, and iā€™ve seen you blushing. who is it?ā€
ā€œmaybe iā€™m sick. what if iā€™m dying, y/n? then what? youā€™re assuming iā€™m in love when iā€™m actually dying?ā€
you raised your hands mockingly. ā€œhey, youā€™re the one who mentioned love, pal. not me. ask yourself about that one.ā€
he rolled his eyes and elbowed you gently with a soft smile. his smiles were always soft, you realised. gentle and kindā€”two words youā€™d use to describe luke castellan any chance you got. you looked at him in the sunlight. and pretty, you thought. gentle, kind and pretty.
late nights were always for thinking.
youā€™d had trouble sleeping since you were a kid. not just the typical demigod issues with nightmares, but difficulty falling asleep in the first place. when those times struck, and the late hours before midnight slipped by, your thoughts wandered.
as always, your thoughts circled a few items; your family, your friends, then, always, luke.
he was separate to your friends, always had been. you didnā€™t really know why.
gentle, kind and pretty, you recalled. it had been a few days since the lake and you hadnā€™t been able to stop thinking about who he was in love with. was there some person out there at camp who held his heart, truly and deeply? why did your chest ache? were you having a heart attack?
you pressed your fingers to your pulse point in concern, then pulled them away after a few seconds. you were fine. why did you feel like that?
no one ever said children of aphrodite werenā€™t oblivious to their own feelings.
time ticked by into the small hours of the morning, and still you couldnā€™t find sleep.
you rolled out of bed and stepped into your slippers, pulling a fluffy robe around your body and stepping out into the warm night. the air was still and calm, a juxtaposition to your whirling mind as you crossed the camp, stepping down paths and stepping over tree roots in a manner youā€™d memorised from countless treks on similar nights.
the hermes cabin was always warmer than your own, but tonight the heat was almost stifling. you could feel the heat heavy in the air as you breathed, and sweat beaded on your lip as you crossed the cabin silently to lukeā€™s bed.
he was sleeping half sitting up, a colouring book and set of pencils splayed out on his lap. it was one youā€™d bought him for his birthday years ago. you had no idea he even used it.
quietly, you packed away the pencils and put them and the book on the side table. as you did, lukeā€™s eyes cracked open. he frowned.
ā€œy/n? are you okay?ā€ he rubbed his eyes, sitting up straight and stretching his neck.
ā€œcanā€™t sleep,ā€ you whispered.
he nodded and pushed his sheets off. he pulled a sweatshirt on and led you out of the cabin.
this was normal for you both. if one couldnā€™t sleep, youā€™d find the other and keep each other company until you felt you could rest. it was always nice knowing someone was there to talk to, or even just sit with. there was never resentment, never irritation from the other person. you would always come find each other. finding each other was like second nature to the two of you. you swore you could find luke in any situation, with your eyes closed, all your senses blotted out, by instinct and connection alone. you could find luke castellan without even a second thought.
you sat on the porch of the cabin with your legs hanging over the edge. lukeā€™s legs were crossed.
ā€œwhat are we doing for your birthday?ā€ he asked finally.
you shrugged. ā€œnothing, probably. maybe iā€™ll get some cake. i donā€™t know.ā€
ā€œyou didnā€™t do anything last year,ā€ he protested. ā€œyou need to this year. itā€™s the big 18.ā€
ā€œwe didnā€™t do much for your eighteenth.ā€
he shrugged. ā€œwe did more than nothing, though, pretty girl. come on, we have to do something.ā€
you shook your head. ā€œyou wanna do something, you can plan it, pretty boy. i donā€™t mind.ā€
he sighed dramatically, leaning back and lying down on the rough wood. ā€œfine. i will.ā€
you laughed quietly and lay back next to him, staring up at the wooden overhang above you.
you could feel his body heat against your arm as it lay between you. he was like a furnace, honestly, always radiating heat. it was nice in winter, but oftentimes stifling in summer. this was not one of those times. instead, you revelled in the closeness between you and almostā€”selfishly, confusinglyā€”wished you were closer. maybe even close enough to touch.
your birthday was a quiet affair. your siblings wished you happy birthday and gave you a handful of small gifts, mostly beauty products and clothes that would fit you perfectly, even a cute bikini you put on under your clothes, and then you all went on with your day.
it was nice, honestly, getting well wishes but little attention. you needed no celebration or pizzazz, just friends, smiles and the occasional hug.
arms wrapped around your waist from behind. you yelped in shock and turned around, finding yourself face to face with luke. he had a bright smile on his face and a smudge of glitter on his cheek.
you reached up and ran your finger over it, trying gently to remove some to no avail. ā€œyou have glitter.ā€
ā€œi have glitter everywhere. i guess thatā€™s what you get for asking one of my siblings for wrapped paper.ā€ he removed his arms from your waist to reveal a poorly wrapped gift in purple glittery paper.
you laughed, taking it. ā€œiā€™m surprised you havenā€™t got more of it on you.ā€
ā€œoh, believe me, princess, i do.ā€ he cringed, stepping back slightly. ā€œhappy birthday.ā€
you smiled up at him and opened the present, ignoring the glitter sticking to your hands and the warmth in your chest and cheeks.
he thought you looked like the sun had come down to earth.
it was a colouring book and a set of pencils. you smiled widely and flipped through the pages, revealing beautiful art. ā€œyou remembered i wanted one?ā€
ā€œyeah, mostly because you kept stealing mine to colour in,ā€ he teased. ā€œbut of course i did.ā€
you reached out and hugged him. ā€œthank you, luke!ā€
ā€œcome on,ā€ he pulled back and took your hand. ā€œpresent isnā€™t done yet.ā€
ā€œwhat have you planned?ā€ you groaned half-heartedly as he pulled you through camp, jogging slightly to keep up with his long strides.
ā€œdonā€™t sound so scared, princess, itā€™s a good thing. i promise.ā€
you just sighed with a smile and let him lead you to the dock.
there was a small basket at the end of it.
you gasped excitedly. ā€œluke, youā€¦ā€
ā€œhappy birthday, y/n.ā€ he sat down and pulled you gently down to sit next to him. he opened the the picnic basket and handed you a sandwich and a mini juice box with a bashful grin. ā€œi wouldā€™ve sprung for coke but mr d. has a monopoly on the stuff around here.ā€
you laughed slightly and began eating, sitting cross-legged and looking out at the lake. the sun beat down on your back and your entire body felt warm. you suddenly werenā€™t sure how much of that warmth was from the sun, and how much of it was from love.
love.
whoa.
you froze with your juice box halfway to your lips.
luke looked over at you. ā€œyou okay?ā€
you nodded slowly, eyes wide, and set down your juice and sandwich. ā€œi wanna swim.ā€
he frowned. ā€œokay? now?ā€
you nodded and stood up. you were wearing your new bikini anyway, so you just pulled your shirt over your head and dropped your shorts next to it. ā€œyou coming?ā€
his eyes were slightly wide, but he nodded and stood up, setting his food down too and removing his over clothes.
you sat down on the dock and slid into the water. it was cold, but more refreshing than shocking. you swam out a few paces as luke jumped in directly, the splash hitting you.
ā€œluke!ā€ you gasped as he surfaced.
he just laughed. ā€œsorry, princess. youā€™re in the water anyway.ā€
you pouted at him, but couldnā€™t stay mad, instead, you watched him as he floated a few feet from you.
he looked confused. ā€œare you okay? was it the sandwich?ā€
you shook your head. ā€œthe sandwich was fine. iā€™m justā€¦ā€ you pursed your lips and swam slightly closer. ā€œwas it me?ā€
he frowned even deeper. ā€œwas what you?ā€
ā€œwhen i asked you the other day, you said you were in love with someone. was it me?ā€
you felt a little bad for putting him on the spot as he looked away, abashed, but when he looked back at you, eyes strong and jaw set, and said, ā€œyes,ā€ you didnā€™t regret a thing.
ā€œwhy?ā€ you asked before you could stop yourself.
ā€œwhy not?ā€ he shrugged. ā€œwhy does the sun shine? why does the wind blow? just because thatā€™s the way things are. and i guessā€¦ yeah, me being in love with you is the way it is.ā€
you were silent for a moment, a small smile on your face. ā€œwell, thatā€™s good then. iā€™m not sure how long this has actually been a thing, luke castellan, but i guess that me being in love with you is alsoā€¦ just the way it is.ā€
he swam slightly closer, a smile breaking across his face. gentle, kind, pretty. ā€œyeah?ā€
ā€œyeah, pretty boy. now kiss me. itā€™s my birthday, after all.ā€
ā€œyes maā€™am,ā€ he grinned. one of his hands slid around your waist, warm as ever in the cold water, and he pulled you closer to him. he savoured the moment for a beat, just studying your face, memorising the look in your eyes, the sun on your skin and the soft smile on your lips. then he pressed his lips to yours.
you finally understood what people meant when they said ā€˜fireworksā€™. they were right. kissing luke was like playing with fire or dancing in the rain, or watching christmas lights twinkle. it was exhilarating, sweet and safe all at the same time; pure and honest love. and he was one damn good kisser.
when he pulled away you were out of breath, treading water still. you swam backwards, pulling him with you by the hand on the back of his neck until you were in the cool shade of the dock, using it to keep you afloat. it was much colder under there, but at least now you had him to keep you warm.
4K notes Ā· View notes
giuliettagaltieri Ā· 4 months ago
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Not Her Man
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Childhood friend!Reader
Chapter Synopsis: Feathers fall gracefully slow
Warning: Girlrotting
Word Count: 3193
Part 1 ā€¢ Part 3
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You were always scared to do drugs.Ā Ā 
You saw Rafe at his highs, you were with him, keeping him from doing anything stupid like when he was so sure he could backflip from Tanneyhillā€™s rooftop and land on the grass perfectly.Ā 
But you also wondered how difficult it was for him to get clean.Ā  To suffer from withdrawals.Ā  And as you lie on your fur carpet, staring at the glimmering crystals of your chandelier, with your closet half emptied and scattered all around your room, along with rolling wine bottles on the polished hardwood floor of your bedroom, you think you might have understood just a little.
Blocking him was the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, especially when it was your routine to giggle over whatever interaction you had through text that day.Ā  The itch to open his account for any update made you want to bind your hands together.
Your parents are out of the country, busy overseeing their business, forgetting to oversee their daughter.Ā  Your maids were there for you, at least they try to be.Ā  They bring you food on schedule, even sliding in a few scoops of ice cream every now and then in your room when your sobs start to echo around the halls.
Rafe tried to contact you multiple times.Ā  First, through your phone, but you blocked him.Ā  Next, he tried to throw pebbles at your window, but your seventy-six year old gardener fired a shotgun at him, thinking that he was a burglar.Ā  Next, he tried a different approach, he was sending you gigantic bouquets of your favorite flowers, making the hallway leading to your room look like a wedding set up, the flowers perfumed the entire house too, drawing a concerning amount of bees.Ā  One epipen to your chefā€™s thigh later, Rafe stops sending them.
He never really does anything right.Ā  All he does is mess up, create more problems for himself.Ā  You almost wanted to give in, but you remind yourself of the things he said.Ā  Anger and hurt quickly replaces pity.
A familiar chime of your phone had you groaning.Ā  Your friends are probably going to have another attempt of making you step out of your room, like inviting you to have your nails done or shop, just to get your mind off of Rafe.
You just let the ringtone end and you go back to staring at the chandelier, wondering if youā€™ll be quick enough to get out of the way if it somehow falls.Ā  Before you can plan a strategic roll, your phone rings again.
Blindly reaching underneath the scattered pillows, you finally locate the buzzing device.Ā  You answer without looking at the caller ID.Ā 
ā€œY/N speaking.ā€Ā  You mumble lazily.
ā€œHey, girlie.ā€Ā  There goes the high-pitched voice of your friend.Ā  ā€œSooo, the girls and I-hush!ā€Ā  You hear a bunch of girls giggling behind the line and your brows crease together in annoyance.Ā  ā€œWeā€™re going on a party tonight and weā€™re thinking that maybe youā€™d liketocomewithus?ā€
You play with the lace of your dress, eyes just following the patterns when you hear your name being called again over the phone.
ā€œIā€™m not in the mood for parties.ā€Ā 
ā€œYou are never in the mood for anything anymore.ā€Ā  She whines behind the line.Ā  Her tone prompts you to sit up to pick up the stale wine you left out in the open for too long.Ā  Taking a sip and ignoring the thin coat of dust it caught after you ransacked your closet for something that made you look confident, only for you to end up squeezing in the dress that Rafe got you as a present for your 13th birthday.Ā  He didnā€™t pick it out for you, of course, but it still made you all fizzy and bubbly and excited inside.
You put down the wine to scratch at the waistband that is digging on the skin of your under bust, the fabric being stretched beyond its capacity.
ā€œI know.ā€Ā  You tried to sound apologetic.Ā  ā€œI just canā€™t, okay?ā€
She sighs, making you let out a grateful sigh.Ā  Thereā€™s still some ceiling viewing you had to get back to.
ā€œIā€™m picking you up at seven.ā€Ā  She speaks with finality and before you can answer, she continues.Ā  ā€œPlease donā€™t let that awful man get the satisfaction of knowing that he has this much effect on you.ā€Ā  You can hear her begging behind the phone.Ā  She and the other girls are just looking out for you.
With an unwilling heart, you decide to get on your feet, your socked foot nearly slipping the moment it touches the wooden floor.Ā  Cursing, you finally crouch on the piled up clothes you threw earlier.Ā 
ā€œFine, Iā€™ll come.ā€Ā  You roll your eyes.Ā  ā€œDresscode?ā€
You hear an airy chuckle and you can imagine her pinching your cheeks if you were within her reach.Ā  ā€œPartyā€™s open to all, Kooks or Pogues.Ā  In the community beach house.Ā  You dress however you like.Ā  Iā€™ll match your vibe, if youā€™d like.ā€
This makes a smile creep on your lips.Ā  Sheā€™s definitely on the top 10 list of the most annoying people you know but you thank God everyday for a friend like her.Ā  ā€œYou know I love you, right?ā€
She snorts before bursting out in a fit of laughter.Ā  ā€œDuh.Ā  I love you too.ā€
ā€œSee you later.ā€Ā  You grin.Ā  ā€œTell the girls Iā€™m coming too.ā€
ā€œSure, see you!ā€Ā 
You hang up and get started on searching for the right outfit.Ā  Well, thereā€™s the classic white flowy dresses, but everybody wears them.Ā  You could wear a short and a cute top, show some belly?Ā  Blech, youā€™re not exactly in one of your maneater moods.Ā  But perhaps if you covered it with that oversized white pinstriped polo, it could work?Ā  Yeah, something casual yet put together.Ā  Itā€™s not like youā€™re dressing to impress anybody, or somebody in particular, youā€™d prioritize comfort over fashion tonight.
A knock on your bedroom door pulls you from your thoughts.Ā  With a shrug, you throw your chosen clothes on your bed.
ā€œComing.ā€Ā  You call while trudging over to open the door.Ā  There stood your maid, she was looking anxious, wringing her wrinkly hands.Ā  ā€œWhat is it?ā€
She glances at your odd choice of clothing before she looks away so as to not make you uncomfortable.Ā  ā€œWell, uhm, Sir Cameron is here again, miss.Ā  Heā€™s waiting for you downstairs, in the drawing room.ā€
You press your lips in a firm line.Ā  ā€œTell him Iā€™m not here.ā€
Your maid smiles apologetically.Ā  ā€œHeā€¦he saw you in your bedroom window before he came in, miss.ā€
Huffing, you tap your feet impatiently.Ā  ā€œJust tell him Iā€™m busy.ā€
ā€œHe said youā€™ll say that.ā€Ā  She mutters, amusement in her tone.Ā  ā€œAnd he asked us to tell you that he can wait.ā€
You close your eyes to keep them from rolling.Ā  ā€œWhatever, he can stay as long as he likes, but Iā€™m not coming down to meet him.ā€Ā  You push the door a little wider and your maidā€™s eyes widen at the state of your room.Ā  ā€œIā€™m sorry, I know youā€™re busy but can you help me clean up?ā€
The rest of the afternoon was spent tidying up your room.Ā 
It was dark out, a couple of minutes past seven when your phone buzzed.Ā  Knowing that itā€™s your girlfriends, you pick your bag, filled with the usual party necessities and head downstairs.Ā  Itā€™s a habit, assigning yourself as the responsible friend who stays sober to look after the others.
You are slipping in the pearl bracelet your grandmother got for you last Christmas when you hear your name being called and in instinct, you turn around.
ā€œOh, right.ā€Ā  You say with a tone that is drier than the Sahara desert.Ā  ā€œYouā€™re here.ā€
Rafeā€™s standing just outside your drawing room, his hands falling to his side.
ā€œYeah.ā€Ā  He spoke awkwardly, his eyes glancing at your outfit, familiarity crossing them before he looked at your eyes again.Ā  ā€œI was waiting for you.ā€
You exhale softly and he just stood there, waiting for your reaction.
ā€œI know.ā€Ā  You say simply.Ā  ā€œGotta go.ā€Ā  You start walking again to your door.
ā€œWait, Y/N.ā€ He easily catches up.Ā  ā€œYouā€™reā€¦youā€™re coming to the party, right?ā€Ā  He asks hopefully.
ā€œYes.ā€Ā  You respond without looking at him.
Rafe smiles but it quickly dissipates when he sees a different car waiting for you.Ā  ā€œHold on, I can drive you there.ā€Ā  He says quickly, his hand gripping yours just to get you to listen to him.Ā  ā€œI can drive you to the party.ā€Ā  He says in an uncharacteristically sheepish way.
For a second, you look at him, really look at him.Ā  His smile grows wide.Ā  He missed having your eyes on him.Ā  Youā€™re his best friend, and heā€™s used to doing everything with you by his side.Ā  He also liked how dependent you were on him too, always asking for his approval.Ā  You have a bit of an overbearing attitude but he would be lying if heā€™ll say that he doesnā€™t miss you doting on him too.Ā  Perhaps youā€™re not the only one whoā€™s dependent on this odd friendship you both have.
ā€œNo, thank you.ā€Ā  You say before pulling your hand away with a sharp look thrown his way.Ā  He watches you walk away to greet your friends.Ā  Heā€™s still stuck there, staring, even after the car drives away.
He doesnā€™t understand it.
Youā€™re the emotional one, why are you doing so well without him?Ā  You never go to parties with other people, it was always him that you stick close to.Ā  Clinging on him, pulling him to the dance floor when heā€™s about to do a line of coke, or accidentally knocking his cup when heā€™s had too much drinks.
Running a hand through his face, Rafe decides to hop on his car and follow you to the party.Ā  Youā€™ll be in the same space as him in the next few hours.Ā  Heā€™ll get another chance there.Ā  Heā€™s certain of it.
He didnā€™t get the chance.
With you by his side all the time, you memorized his set of activities at parties and you evaded him perfectly.Ā  Rafe decided that it was best to stand by the punch table.Ā  Youā€™d get thirsty eventually, and heā€™ll be there waiting if you do.
On the other side of the house, farthest from Rafe, there you sit by the porch swing, admiring the push and pull of the waves.Ā  The party was at its climax and everybody was cramped inside the house, dancing and drinking, or doing unholy activities.Ā  You donā€™t know how you managed to slip away from your friends but youā€™re glad you did.Ā  You needed the fresh air.
Youā€™re just starting to get comfortable when a man stumbles out the door.Ā  You watch him struggle to keep himself up.Ā  He looked lost? Or just flat out drunk.Ā  You watch in amusement as he scratches his blonde head, he must be having a whiplash from all the blinding neon lights inside and suddenly his vision switches to the bright light provided by the LEDs.Ā 
His feet twist and he starts to fall to the side, your head tilting to follow his fall.Ā  You wince when you hear the loud thud of his body hitting the floor, followed by his muffled but loud groaning.
ā€œMotherfu-ā€Ā  He sits on the floor, his legs sprawled out in front of him as he shakes his head like a dog.
ā€œYou alright, JJ?ā€Ā  You chuckle.
He whips his head to you, cursing again when his vision spins.Ā  ā€œY/N?ā€Ā  He drawls out while rubbing his eyes.Ā  ā€œYou saw everything?ā€
Still laughing, you get up to crouch next to him.Ā  ā€œI did.ā€Ā  You smile when he groans out again.Ā  ā€œAre you okay?ā€
He props up a knee and rests an arm there, he looks buzzed, his eyes are heavily lidded as he stares off into the ocean.
ā€œYeah, Iā€™m fine.ā€Ā  He glances at you.Ā  ā€œWell, this is a strange sight.ā€
ā€œWhat is?ā€Ā  You mumble as you look away from him, deciding to play dumb.
He shrugs animatedly, hands gesturing to you and the entire space of the porch.Ā  ā€œUsually, wherever you are, your boyfriend is not that far behind.ā€Ā  He points a thumb behind him.Ā  ā€œAnd if I wasnā€™t imagining it, Iā€™m pretty sure I just saw him brooding over the drinks.ā€
You chuckle dryly as you bring your knees to your chest.Ā  ā€œHeā€™s not my boyfriend.ā€
JJ looks at you with an unimpressed face.Ā  ā€œThatā€™s all you heard.ā€
Playfully punching his shoulder, you sigh.Ā  ā€œWe fought.ā€
He frowns, back straightening immediately.Ā  ā€œHe didnā€™t hurt you, did he?ā€Ā  Itā€™s kind of sweet how your words seemed to have sobered him really quick.
ā€œNo!Ā  No, he didnā€™t.ā€Ā  You reply right away.Ā  ā€œWell, at least not physically.ā€
You watch him grimace.Ā  ā€œOutside physical fights, I have little to no idea how to respond.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s okay, JJ.Ā  I donā€™t wanna talk about it, anyway.ā€
He gives you a boyish grin, as if to reassure you before scratching at his jaw, your eyes mindlessly follow his movements and you see a scratch.
ā€œYouā€™re hurt.ā€Ā  You tell him, pointing at your own jaw.
ā€œHuh?ā€Ā  He touches his jaw and winces.Ā  ā€œOw!Ā  Mustā€™ve scratched myself when Iā€¦uhm.ā€
ā€œWhen you decided to attack the floor.ā€Ā  You finish for him and he clears his throat.Ā  ā€œYouā€™ll have to disinfect it.ā€
ā€œPfft, itā€™s fine.ā€Ā  He shakes his head.Ā  ā€œItā€™s just a scratch.ā€
But you are already grabbing your bag by the swing and you return with a small kit.
ā€œI forgot to bring wipes.ā€Ā  You mumble before crouching down in front of him.Ā  He swallows at your close proximity.Ā  ā€œCome on, JJ.Ā  Itā€™s just antibacterial cream.ā€
He hesitantly shows you his face and you gently apply the cream, tutting when he dramatically pulls away.
You grab his face and tilt it slightly and JJ squeezes his eyes.
ā€œIt fucking stings.ā€Ā  He nearly whines, making you roll your eyes.
ā€œDonā€™t be a baby!ā€Ā  You huff and he stays still for a second, allowing you to smear the cream evenly and he rolls away from you as soon as youā€™re done.
JJ was muttering about God knows what while youā€™re busy putting your stuff away.Ā  When you sit next to him again, heā€™s much calmer, a lazy smile back on his face again.
ā€œThanks, Y/N.ā€
You throw him a playful glare.Ā  ā€œYouā€™re welcome.ā€
He touches the scratch and you almost tell him off but he quickly pulls his hand away.Ā 
ā€œWhy didnā€™t Cameron make you his girl?ā€
You blow out a big sigh.Ā  ā€œHe doesnā€™t like me.ā€
ā€œBullshit.ā€Ā  He laughs but he clears his throat when you look at him unamused.Ā  ā€œSorry.ā€
ā€œItā€™s fine.ā€Ā  You smile at him genuinely before averting your eyes.Ā  ā€œI wouldnā€™t blame him.Ā  I mean, you saw how I can be.ā€Ā  You chuckle this time but thereā€™s no humor on JJā€™s face, heā€™s looking at you rather sadly.Ā  ā€œI care too much and everybody suffocates around me.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t.ā€Ā  He says quickly.Ā  ā€œI was just being dramatic earlier.ā€Ā  He rubs his nape.Ā  ā€œIā€™m not used to having people tend to me, I mostly just do it myself.ā€Ā  He seeks your eyes and you finally look at him.Ā 
You hear a creak behind you but before you can look, JJ cups your face to keep you from breaking your eye contact, making your breath hitch.
ā€œI liked being taken care of like that.ā€Ā  He whispers and your lips part slightly.
ā€œJJ.ā€Ā  You say breathlessly and he grins, his face leaning dangerously close to you.Ā  ā€œYouā€™re drunk.ā€
He gently bites his bottom lip and you have to look away from his blatant flirting.Ā  ā€œIā€™m sober enough to kiss, I promise.ā€
Thisā€¦this isnā€™t right.Ā Ā 
You gently push him away and his lips immediately form a pout.Ā  ā€œYouā€™re such a kid, JJ.ā€
He clicks his tongue and angrily stoops as he glares at the ocean.Ā  ā€œYou had no idea how long it took me to build the courage to do that.ā€
ā€œFive minutes?ā€Ā  You jokingly bump his shoulders, making his act break at the edges, a smile threatening to crack on his lips.Ā  ā€œSeriously, J, I canā€™t kiss drunk guys.Ā  Itā€™s unethical.ā€
He mimics you in a childish voice and buries his face on his palms harshly.Ā  He turns to you again, with his hair disheveled and sticking to his forehead and red blotches appearing on some areas of his face.Ā  ā€œIā€™m not as drunk as you think I am.ā€Ā  The way he glances at your lips had your throat drying up.Ā  ā€œI really wanted to kiss you.ā€Ā  Aside from Rafe, you have little to no experience with the male attention and frankly, you donā€™t know what to do.
You place a hand on his shoulder and stiffly pat it twice.Ā  ā€œYouā€™ll get over it.ā€
JJ looks at you exasperatedly.Ā  ā€œYouā€™re taking this too lightly, this is my feelings we are talking about.ā€
You stifle a laughter.Ā  ā€œOh, so you have feelings for me.ā€Ā  You raise a brow at him and he nods his head enthusiastically.
ā€œEvery guy on this island has a thing for you.ā€Ā  He says animatedly.Ā  ā€œIf it wasnā€™t for your bodyguard, we would have made our move long ago.ā€
You are deeply flattered, you canā€™t resist the girlish smile from tugging on your lips, your cheeks slowly heating up.
ā€œYouā€™re just saying that to make me feel better.ā€
He looks deeply offended and places a hand on his chest.
ā€œYouā€™re the ultimate dream girl, stupid!ā€Ā  He dodges a punch from you.Ā  ā€œYouā€™re like the total package.Ā  Youā€™re sweet, and smart, youā€™re also very pretty, you can be funny too when you let loose.ā€Ā  He wiggles his eyebrows at you and this pulls a laughter from you, a real, genuine laughter that had your shoulders shaking.
ā€œWhen are you gonna get serious, J?ā€Ā  Wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes, you get up.Ā  ā€œWait here, Iā€™ll get us a drink.ā€
He gives you a two finger salute before lying smack down on the floor, with his arms spread out.Ā  You shake your head, chuckling when you open the door.
And your hair stands on end.
There stood the very person you have been avoiding the entire night.
But for once, he isnā€™t wearing a scowl or a condescending cocky smile.
He was looking at you like a man defeated and broken.
ā€œRafe.ā€Ā  You whisper as you reach for him but you stop yourself before your skin can touch.Ā  He looks at your hand and then your eyes.Ā  You donā€™t know if itā€™s the trick of light but you could have sworn his eyes are glassy.
ā€œHey, Y/N, everything alright?ā€Ā  JJ calls.
Rafe glances at JJ and then back at you, he nods slowly as he takes a step back.Ā  Your heart aches as you watch him take another step away from you but you will yourself not to follow.Ā  He runs a hand on his mouth and he turns away from you.
You stare at his back as he leaves, torn between choosing your own pride or running after him.Ā  For what seemed like hours, you stood there, frozen.Ā  Still lost in the onslaught of emotions that surged through you.
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Not Your Girl ā€¢ His Girl
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1K notes Ā· View notes
vamptizm Ā· 18 days ago
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NOT A SECRET ā€” paige bueckers
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pairing : paige bueckers x wnba!fem!reader
synopsis : the bliss of winning the wnba championship causes a big slip up that exposes your relationship to the world
warnings : explicit language, alcohol, cigars and sexual innuendos (if you donā€™t like the new york liberty, you can replace it with your favourite team idc)
note : i havenā€™t checked for typos that thoroughly soā€¦ my bad
word count : 2.6k
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Whatā€™s better than succeeding in life in almost every aspect? Sharing that success with someone you love and that loves you back, unconditionally and wholly. Meeting Paige Madison Bueckers had undoubtedly been one of the best things that life had blessed you with, other than your flourishing career. The two of you had met in 2019, both playing for team USA. Later on you would meet again at UConn, playing and succeeding alongside each other for the past four years. It wasnā€™t until barely a year ago, that the two of you decided to be brave enough to confess your love. But sadly, everything must end for a new chapter to begin, and here you were, living a two and a half hour drive from her to chase your dreams.
Luckily for you, Paige was the most dedicated and passionate girlfriend in the world, making it her mission to attend as many of your games during the playoff season as possible. Today was no different. It was her birthday, her special day, and here she was, supporting you. Hoping to celebrate you, rather than celebrating herself.
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You were pacing around the open kitchen of yourā€”extremely overprizedā€”apartment, the nerves and anxiety eating at you like maggots, heart pounding in your throat and hands sweaty. This was by far, one of the most important games in your life so far, if not more important than the game against Iowa only six month ago.
ā€œHow about you stop walking around in circles and cā€™mere?ā€ Paige spoke up from her spot on the malta-beige couch, arm slung over the back rest as her neck craned slightly to look back at you.
ā€œI canā€™t, I feel like Iā€™m about to throw up.ā€ You spoke, your voice coming out almost like a choked whine, wiping your hands down on your sweatpants for the umpteenth time in the past hour.
You only had an hour left until you had to be ready and at the Barclays Center. Two and a half hours until the final game against the Minnesota Lynx began. You were a mess, and no one could blame you.
Sighing at your distressed state, the blonde lifted herself off of the couch, walking towards you with sympathetic eyes. She hated seeing you this way. It wasnā€™t the first time, and definitely wouldnā€™t be the last, but it never burdened her. If you needed to cling to her like a lifeline, she would be there. Every. Single. Time.
ā€œOh, baby. Cā€™mere.ā€ Her arms opened wide once she was standing a mere foot away from you, wrapping you into a hug. So tight and warm, so comforting and safe that for a moment, it felt like all your worries vanished into thin air. The only thing that mattered was the intoxicating scent and the protective warmth of your girlfriend.
You buried your face into the crook of her neck, arms wrapping around her waist as you allowed yourself to breatheā€”really breatheā€”for the first time since you had woken up. ā€œIā€™m just scared. What if I mess up? What if I disappoint everyone and then Iā€™ll be the rookie that ruined everything.ā€ You mumble into her neck, voice slightly muffled but she understood you perfectly.
ā€œHey. Hey, look at me.ā€ Paigeā€™s voice was firm, yet it didnā€™t lack the tenderness and gentleness you so desperately needed. Her hands snaked up, pulling away from the hug just enough to be able to cup your face in them. ā€œThatā€™s bullshit and you know it. Youā€™re on top of the league right now, if not the world. This is not going to ruin your career. It is not going to diminish everything you have achieved and youā€™re sure as hell not going to disappoint everyone.ā€
With her hands cradling your face, thumbs brushing against your cheeks and eyes looking deeply into yours, you couldnā€™t help but tear up. Maybe it was the stress, maybe the nerves, or maybe it was the reassurance and praise that not only her words offered, but her entire presence in that moment.
ā€œYouā€™re going to be great, just as youā€™ve always been. How many times have you felt just like this and ended up wiping the floor with everyone?ā€
The way she was looking down at you almost had your knees crumbling, so gentle and sincere. ā€œYou think so?ā€ Your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper and if it had been any other situation, you wouldā€™ve cringed at yourself.
ā€œBaby, I know so.ā€ Paige didnā€™t have to say more than that. It was enough to boost your confidence from basement level, to the roof.
You didnā€™t say much either, choosing to bask in the moment, hands snaking up to lay over hers that were still cupping your face, looking up at her with glassy eyes and a faint smile. In that moment, it was only appropriate for you to inch closer, placing a soft and short kiss on her pillow soft lips.
A smile crept up on the blonde as you pulled back again, ā€œSoā€¦ How about ā€˜pre-game good luckā€™ head?ā€
ā€œWellā€¦ Wait, No! Iā€™m still in distress.ā€
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The arena buzzed with a low hum of anticipation as you stood at the edge of the court, taking in the packed stands, the flashing lights, and the sea of Liberty blue and green. Your heart was poundingā€”though you'd had nerves all day, they'd sharpened now that the moment was upon you . You scanned the crowd, gaze catching Paige's in her seat near the front. Paige's steadying smile softened the sharp edges of Your anxiety, and you exhaled, focus narrowing. This was it. The moment you had been working your ass of for. It was now or never.
As the whistle blew, your nerves dissolved like mist, replaced by the razor focus of competition. Everything outside the court vanished, your only objective now to take down the Lynx and bring home a win for the team. But as the first quarter unfolded, it became clear this game wouldn't go as planned. Your team struggled to find their rhythm, their usual crisp passes and quick plays seeming off. Shots were bouncing off the rim, free throws missed their mark, and the Lynx defense was ruthless. Every time you managed to drive toward the basket, you felt hands clawing at your arms, hips bumping you hard off course. You fought to keep your form steady, but even your own three-pointersā€”normally a guaranteed lifelineā€”fell just short. Beside you, Sabrina was playing through visible pain, her movements cautious, hindered by her UCL injury.
Paige's chest tightened with each missed shot and lost point, her eyes tracking your every move. She could see your frustration mounting, shoulders tensing after every failed attempt, and every bit of her wanted to rush down there, to shield you from the weight of this game. Tell you that she believed in you more than anything.
By halftime, the Liberty had fallen behind by nearly double digits. You felt your stomach knot and churn as you walked back down the tunnel toward the locker room, breath shaky, mind racing over every failed shot, every error. Before you knew it, hot tears were spilling down your cheeks, stinging with the shame of coming up short. You barely noticed the footsteps trailing you until you heard Paige's voice calling out her name, a beacon of comfort piercing her distress.
You slowed and turned, and there was your girlfriend, just outside the locker room door, her eyes brimming with concern. A teasing voice broke the tensionā€”Stewie, giving you a gentle nudge on the shoulder. "Hey, save some of those tears for the win, rook. You're not out of this yet."
Despite yourself, you let out a shaky laugh, and then you were in Paige's arms, face buried against her shoulder. You clung to her, breathing in the familiar scent and drawing strength from your girlfriend's embrace. "I'm playing like shit right now," you mumbled, voice thick with disappointment.
She tilted your chin up, meeting your eyes with steady determination. "Hey, look at me. You've been through worse than this. Most of these people today are here to watch you. You're gonna go back out there and you're gonna play your game. I know you. You're not done." Her words wrapped around you like armor, steadying your nerves. With a last kiss on the cheek, Paige whispered, "Go show them who you are, Ma."
Buoyed by the reassurance, you returned to the court for the second half with renewed fire only ten minutes later. Your team began to close the gap, each player digging deep as they fought to find their rhythm. Your shots began to connect, and your movements were sharper, cleaner, feeding off your team's newfound energy. You could feel Paige's eyes on you from the stands, grounding you with every step.
By the time the game went into overtime, your team had clawed their way to a slim four-point lead, the clock ticking down the final seconds. With a fierce determination, you seized her momentā€”gripping the ball just past half-court, you made the reckless decision in a split second. You set your stance and launched a deep three-pointer, watching as the ball arched high into the air. The arena fell silent, everyone holding their breath as it spun toward the basket.
And thenā€”swish. The ball dropped cleanly through the net, and the crowd erupted, an unstoppable wave of sound crashing over the court. Your teammates surged around you, pulling you into hugs and shouting in joy, their faces bright with triumph. You felt the overwhelming relief, the weight of victory sinking in as tears of happiness filled your eyes.
Amid the chaos, your gaze instinctively searched for Paige, who was already standing by her seat, pride radiating from her. Without thinking, you ran toward her, your heart full to bursting. When you reached Paige, your threw your arms around her, catching her in a fierce embrace. Before either of you registered what you were doing, you pressed a kiss to Paige's lips, the world melting away in that single moment. You were on cloud nine and nothing could bring you down, anytime soon.
Paige held you close, tears shimmering in her own eyes as she whispered, "I'm so proud of you, Baby. You fucking did it."
And for the first time in a long time, you felt the weight of every struggle, every doubt, lifted, replaced by the solid warmth of love, victory, and the freedom to embrace who you truly were.
But then it dawned on you. The sudden realization of what you had just done and your face dropped, heart pounding impossibly faster in your throat all while Paige continued to hold you close. "Oh my god... Oh. My. God." You could barely manage to find the words, the guilt of what you had just done so impulsively hitting you like a wave and throwing you off that thrown you had been sitting on just a mere minute ago.
"I'm so sorry. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... Oh god, I fucked up. The whole world just saw that, what do we do?" It was clear as day that you were panicking, the fear of disappointing your girlfriend eating away at you.
Paige however, didn't seem to have lost that smile on her face, her bright eyes almost blinding with the sparkle that shimmered in them, all while gazing at you. "I don't care. We've talked about this before, I want the world to know."
"Really?" Your voice was barely above a whisper, not trusting yourself to keep it from cracking in that moment.
"Yes, really. I would be fucking insane if I had anything against the world knowing that I'm not only dating the most wonderful person alive, but also a champion."
Your frown quickly turned upside down into a small smile, heart searing with love and pride. Not only were you a winner tonight, but with her on your side, you'd be a winner for the rest of your life.
"Now go and celebrate, you deserve it." The blonde began to release you from her grip, a soft grin playing on her lips.
"Come with me." You suggested instantly, not wanting to be apart from her for even just a second, if you didn't have to. "I wanna show off my prettier trophy on her birthday."
Paige's grin melted into a smirk, the sparkle in her blue eyes suddenly clouded and you had to make sure that your own eyes weren't playing tricks on you. "Your trophy, huh? Oh, I'm gonna fuck you so good when we get back home, champ."
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Back in the locker room, the team was in full championship mode. As you and Paige stepped in, you were instantly drenched with a spray of ice-cold champagne, your teammates laughing and cheering as they each took turns celebrating. The room was filled with a mix of joyous shouts, laughter, and the sticky-sweet smell of champagne spilling from bottles held high. You could feel the bubbles fizzing on your skin, jersey soaked through, but none of that matteredā€”this was the taste of victory, and you drank it in like the best moment of your life.
Stewie grinned, grabbing a cigar and offering it to you with a proud nod. ā€œHere you go, rook. Youā€™ve earned it.ā€
You took it with a chuckle, feeling the weight of the cigar in your hand as you looked around at your ecstatic teammates. You didnā€™t smoke often, but right now, it felt like the perfect way to mark the moment. As you lit up, you took a slow draw and exhaled, watching the smoke curl into the air, feeling an odd thrill in the movement. Around you, your teammates roared in laughter and cheered you on, playfully tousling your hair and congratulating you as you relaxed further into the moment.
Paige stood slightly apart from the chaos, watching you with an expression of open admiration. Paigeā€™s gaze lingered on you, catching every spark of joy in your eyes, every smile, and every bit of laughter that spilled from your lips. She let herself soak in the sight, wanting to imprint it on her memoryā€”this perfect image of you, triumphant and glowing, a little champagne-drunk and flushed from the celebration. She didnā€™t care about the sticky residue of the champagne on her own skin or the faint smell of smoke in the air; all she could focus on was you, looking impossibly beautiful.
As you took another drag, exhaling the smoke with an air of confidence that was as charming as it was unfamiliar, Paigeā€™s heart skipped a beat. There was something about the way you held herself tonight, bold and carefree, that sent a shiver down Paigeā€™s spine.
You caught Paigeā€™s eyes and, with a giggle, took a playful step toward her, the effects of the champagne clear in your soft, relaxed gaze. ā€œAre you okay over there?ā€ you teased, tilting your head with a grin, clearly catching on to Paigeā€™s stare.
Paigeā€™s lips curled into a smirk, her voice low as she leaned in, brushing a hand along your arm. ā€œOh, Iā€™m doing great,ā€ she murmured, her tone filled with a hint of mischief. ā€œJustā€¦ canā€™t wait to get you home.ā€
Your eyes sparkled with a playful challenge as you smirked right back, the faint scent of champagne and cigar smoke hanging in the air between them. ā€œIā€™m all yours in an hour or so,ā€ you whispered, leaning in close enough that only Paige could hear.
ā€œLongest hour of my life,ā€ Paige replied, her voice barely above a breath, her eyes gleaming with anticipation as they lingered on your smile.
The locker room buzzed around you, but in that moment, you both were in your own world, two people tangled in a look filled with promises for later, ready to savor every bit of this winā€”together.
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tj-crochets Ā· 1 month ago
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I have not forgotten the mini mushroom guy pattern or the Toothless backpack! It's just been a stressful week at work and it's my birthday week so I am letting myself follow my crafting whims a little more than I usually do
Crafting update: I've crocheted a few more rounds on the lovey, am almost done with another knit beanie, quilted a few more squares on the hand quilted baby quilt experiment, and keep getting sidetracked I've also gotten to the point in my Spanish learning where it's started to help on days where my brain loses access to a random assortment of words for a bit, in that I can usually still come up with the Spanish word even if the English word is unfindable, but unhelpful in that no one else in my family speaks Spanish I mean, they are learning some because of me? But not much lol
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neil-gaiman Ā· 7 months ago
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Hello Mr Gaiman. I have read all of your books.
This is not an ask, rather an answer.
I would like to say thank you for saving me. Knowing I will never meet you will not change the way I feel about you or myself.
Love your fiction work. I feel bad for the fact that itā€™s not fiction to me. It is my life story.
Very sad one. That I am still trying to make sense of today.
I was raised by the other mother. Not really, but I was raised by a bipolar narcissist who hated me and loved me but didnā€™t know how to do either. She sexually abused me for 12 years.
No one ever believed me. No one.
So I would pretend that I was Coraline and that I was brave. I was. But that was because I knew that the spell had to break at some point.
I am 24 now. She is old and frail but the hell she has made in my mind - I almost never escaped. Until I understood that I truly was stronger.
Because she tried to make me just like her, but I refused. I picked kindness.
If you canā€™t find a friend, be one. If you canā€™t find someone you look up to- become someone who others can look up to.
I did. I tried my best. I promise.
I want to tell you the ultimate secret that no one ever could. You probably figured it out a long time ago, but it still makes me feel better to write it here, even if I know that you might never reply or ask me if I am safe, or dismiss me like a crazed fan/abused child who desperately needs help and attention.
I donā€™t. I would like to be your friend. But I know it is not possible.
So I want you to know I know why they do it.
They do it for the same reason as you wrote books. To not feel alone.
But that is the problem with existing in this world. Evil is nothing but not understanding yourself and hating different people from you.
Ignorance brings hate. How do you justify yourself in a world like this?
Simple.
You change the world by breading more people who believe hate is love, and love is hate. Evil needs justification. Kindness needs non.
I sat alone for 24 years and told no one. The paragraph above was just the start and the ending.
My story is still unfolding. But I wanted to let you know you are no longer sitting alone at your birthday party.
Because the only present I ever got was knowing someone else like me existed.
Someone who could look evil in the eye and stare back.
And never stop talking about it.
Thank you Mr. Gaiman, for writing ā€œView from the Cheap Seatsā€
When I read it I put it down as well as the razor that I wanted to end my life with.
Because you were my only friend. And you still are.
And I cannot take the injustice anymore. If they wonā€™t read, I will read to them.
I will save them just like you saved me. Making reading cool and easy.
And I will do it for you and me. So that no one else can see the horrors anywhere but in books and movies.
And I will do it one act of kindness and love at a time.
So they will know that injustice is just a state of mind.
Thank you Mr.Gaiman. You gave me hope.
And now I will do the unthinkable. I will try until my dying breath to change their mind.
One step forward into a future where you are not sad and a story like mine is just a horror movie and not a reality.
Because you are my only friend, and I hate to see my friends sad.
Leto
I'm so proud of you, and this made me tear up.
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tame-the-lion-writes Ā· 2 months ago
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Okay, so here I go. (Iā€™m sorry if words are misspelled or if I used the wrong words; Iā€™m dyslexic but thank goodness for autocorrect. Sometimes it corrects it for me and at others it puts a completely different word then what I meant; so fair warning.)
So, I was wondering if it will be Ghost that cat reader opens up to about her fear of deep water. It was pretty obvious that she has trauma from it from that one time Ghost tried to give her a bath after she was done for the day doing her ā€œmouse killingā€ duty; it is most likely a deep fear developed from trauma from being held under by an abusive old owner/partner.
Like yes, itā€™s obvious she irritates Ghost out of ā€œspiteā€ (and probably does it for shits & giggles on her end) but HE was the one she clung onto when it was made clear of her fear of deep water. She may have been terrified but she felt safe enough to hold onto him & allowed him to comfort her during that event; she cuddled herself under his head and tapped her head against his chest which are signs of trust for a cat.
Yes, sheā€™s definitely more friendly & open to Gaz (first to earn that with her), Soap (second) and Price (third to earn the right to be comfortable with her) but what if it actually came down to core issues/serious concerns itā€™s actually Ghost she goes to. Mostly because she can tell that although they annoyed each other (not really but more just for loving fun) that they DO understand each other on a level that the others just canā€™t.
The other three are there for basically nap time together, to play with and being cute with; but it is only with him will she be THAT open with serious things/issues. For her, he becomes her special & only companion for those kinds of matters. (Which once he realizes that she views ONLY him as special/worthy enough to be open with stuff does he feel honored instead of annoyed about it. After all he was trying to make a connection with her and now he has a strong one that only he has access to; she wonā€™t open up about serious stuff with the others in a way that she will only do with him.)
Basically is will be the bases/beginning for her to start accepting him as a comfort source/companion. Of course, sheā€™ll still be a little brat/little shit towards him; but it will be out of good fun/love intentions behind it, no malice or hatred behind her annoyance towards him anymore.
Hope this helps you come up with an idea. ā˜ŗļø
Oh, babe, you got my vision perfectly LMAO. (And no worries about your dyslexia, I understood you perfectly!)
CW: mentions of past abuse (and technically attempted murder)
I won't go so far as to say that she would never go to the other boys, but yes, she has an extra special bond w/ Ghost because they both understand what it's like to survive abuse--especially abuse at the hands of someone they should've been able to trust. It's also very much an "I hate you" relationship in that they only "hate" each other because of that similarity/understanding. We tend to be more critical towards people like us because of how we perceive ourselves; we are our best critics, after all.
In short, "canonically," reader got tossed over a bridge into a river when her past owner tried to get rid of her. Something along the lines of--she became too big of a burden. Being a birthday/Christmas gift, they didn't expect the true responsibility of raising a pet. The reason doesn't really matter, though; either way, she scratched her way out of the soggy cardboard box and dragged herself to shore, then made her way to the old abandoned farm nearby. Hence why she doesn't like deep water--especially not when someone is carrying her towards it.
But next time Ghost tries to clean her, he's learned his lesson. Fills a small tub just 2-3 inches high, and instead of casually tossing her in, is surprisingly patient as he places her back paws in first--letting her wade a few seconds before plopping her front feet in. She's still whiny, of course, used to washing herself, but with Ghost's help, he get's the places she can't reach. Not to mention that the shampoo he's using smells pretty good.
"Not so mean when your buttons ain't pushed, huh?" he sighs, only to add-- "Sorry 'bout last time. Should've respected your boundaries."
You're quiet for a little before bumping your head into his hand, as if in acceptance of his apology.
"'Sides, you've got your reasons," he goes on, moving to scratch under your chin as well. "And fear ain't your fault."
You meow in understanding, then blink slow.
"Ha--" He copies the blink back. "Think this is the nicest you've been to me."
The rest of bath time is quiet, save for the sound of you shuffling around in the tub in response to Ghost's ministrations. But just as he finishes rinsing you clean of suds, Gaz comes around the corner, ready to kick off his boots after a long day.
"See you're gettin' close with the kit there," he smiles, dusting his hands off in mid-air. And while you half-expect Ghost to respond with acceptance, instead, he mutters--
"What else am I supposed to do? She stinks."
Well, there goes the moment.
You swipe at his hand with a hiss, only to be met with his scowl and a towel that swallows you whole.
When you do eventually tell him--the reason for your fear, that is--it's after another bath, and when you're snuggled close under the weight of his arm. His hand cups the back of your neck, callouses almost silky from how he handles you oh-so gently. A tempered practice he's forced himself to learn since you met. Because though kindness doesn't come naturally to him, it doesn't unnerve you; sometimes you wonder if kindness, as a choice, is better.
"You know I--" he clears his throat-- "we'd never. Right?" Simon whispers, his voice as deep as the purr that eventually rumbles through your chest.
Your fingers dance through the fine blonde of his hair, illuminated only by thin streaks of moonlight filtering through the blinds. Then you draw your palms down, so instead, you're holding the sides of his face, the scars and marks of his beautifully imperfect skin like stories untold beneath your thumb. And you press your nose to his.
"I know."
(He may or may not run into your former owner eventually, and he may or may not threaten to kill him or worse. But that's a story for another day :D)
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enhasparadise Ā· 2 months ago
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LOVE PARADISE. Ė’Ė’ ļ¹™ enhypen ! ļ¹š
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ā•°ā”ˆāŖ¼ in which you suddenly ask your boyfriend if he loves you to see his reaction
pairing ā€Žāøāøāø enha member x girlfriend!reader š“„· iĪ·cā„“udį„±s š“ˆ“ none!
genreļ¹™šŸ’¬ļ¹šāøāøāø scenerios/headcannons, soft, fluff
warnings ā€Žāøāøāø enhypen member being a wimp for their girl, really cute reaction from the member, use of petnames (sweetheart, kitten, sweetie, darling..), jay doing a proposal to the reader (thatā€™s not a real proposal), niki teasing the reader (kinda funny to write actually), really dramatic Jake, kisses and cuddles.
wc ā€Žāøāøāø 3788 words
rainā€™s note ā€Žāøāøāø im in love with the idea of this scenario and I hope that you loved reading all of them ! (jay, Jake and niki being my favorite šŸ¤­) hope to see you for my next post, currently working on "TOKYO ON EDGE" first chapter !!
all feedback and reblogs are welcome! ā™”
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š“² š–§·ĖŠ HEESEUNG
heeseung had just come back from a long day of training and the only thing he wanted was to be in your arms so he could reunite with his girlfriend.
he simply almost froze when he didn't see that you weren't sitting on the sofa like he was used to finding you like at the end of all his days. this simple change in his habits starting to worry him before he heard a noise coming from the kitchen, and a smile appeared on his lips even though he had seen you cooking.
quickly his arms were around your waist as he placed a soft kiss on your cheeks, but before he even said a single word you had cut him off.
ā€œhee, do you love me?ā€ you asked him and he stood looking at you for a few seconds without understanding why you had just asked that question.
he thought that showing you his love every day was enough to prove the love he had for you, but upon hearing your question he quickly understood that maybe that wasn't the case.
ā€œwait are you seriously asking the question sweetheart?ā€ he ended up saying almost as if he had just found his voice and his arms quickly disappeared from around your waist before Heeseung ended up completely disappearing from the kitchen, leaving you alone wondering what he could do.
but he returned a few minutes later with his phone in one hand, and his bag in the other, which he placed on the kitchen table. ā€œLook at me quickly, sweetheart, please..ā€ he asked before seeing you turn around and a smile appeared on his lips.
he then gave you his phone directly. ā€œlook at the wallpaperā€ and he had barely finished his sentence when you quickly noticed that his wallpaper was nothing other than a photo of the two of you that he had taken during a of your appointments. ā€œmy password is your date of birthā€ he added almost immediately before looking inside his bag.
he searched for a few seconds before taking out a small stuffed animal that you had given him on your birthday a month ago, that he had kept with him ever since and that he had with him all the time since he never left his bag.
then he came closer to you simply to show you one of his necklaces with your initials engraved on it, which he had never taken off without forgetting this ring that you had both worn since the start of your relationship.
"I think you must be kidding me for asking a question like that when almost all I have with me are things that remind me of you. im obsessed with you baby."
following which, you were treated to an avalanche of kisses from your boyfriend to once again prove his love which quickly made you laugh.
ā€œi know heeseung, it was just to see what you were going to say..ā€ you had time to say before his lips pressed against yours.
š“² š–§·ĖŠ JAY
you didn't even have the need to ask the question that strangely Jay had already seen this moment coming and so, throughout the day he had been expecting it, but deep down he was prepared. maybe even a little too prepared in fact.
you were both walking in the middle of the night, admiring the stars while the streets were far too quiet, and without knowing why, this question had come to your mind and obviously, you couldn't not ask it and you then turned to face Jay, who was already looking at you as if he had already understood.
"Jay.." you started innocently trying to coax your boyfriend into the future question you were going to ask him.
"yes darling?" he answered you, and this simple nickname made your heart beat faster and your cheeks turned pink, almost forgetting your question but you eventually came to your senses. "do you love me ?"
a soft laugh left your boyfriend's lips upon hearing your question and he knew perfectly well that your question was asked simply to see his response and reaction. he spent several seconds admiring you, his smile growing as he took in your beauty and his hand took yours, his gaze finally settling on your fingers noticing that you almost never wore rings.
his gaze ended up returning to your face, seeing perfectly well that you were waiting for some kind of response from him, he took the time to make you wait and his gaze went back down to your hand.
"what do you say about a darling ring?" he ended up asking you after three minutes without any response and his gaze returned to you.
hearing his sentence you couldn't really understand what he meant and after a few seconds you seemed to realize what he had just said and didn't even know what to say.
"Jay..?" you asked as you looked straight into his eyes and again a smile appeared on his lips, noticing that his sentence had disturbed you slightly and although you only thought it was a joke he ended up feeling a small black box which you were sure contained a ring.
your gaze was fixed on him, unable to know how he was feeling right before your gaze fell on that small box that was in your boyfriend's hands.
although he didn't position himself as a real marriage proposal you let out a little laugh of excitement imagining it as a proposal, and he knew that with this kind of action he was going to make you happy. when he opened the box and you finally saw the appearance of the ring, which was classic but at the same time with this very atypical appearance a smile appeared on your lips and a few seconds later the ring had ended up around one of your fingers and a smile also appeared on Jay's lips.
"Is that enough to prove that I love you darling?" he asked you even though he knew perfectly well that he had almost made you a real marriage proposal and that this simple detail had allowed a smile to remain on your lips.
"It's beautiful Jay..." you replied, looking at the ring now around your finger before your gaze rested on him and you almost immediately jumped into his arms.
a laugh left his lips before he placed a soft and tender kiss on your lips, holding you against him.
š“² š–§·ĖŠ JAKE
"so my girlfriend really doesn't listen to me when I spend hours talking about her when I'm alone with her.." Jake said, realizing the question you had just asked him while he dramatized the whole thing. situation.
"What do you mean? Jake, I've never heard you talk about me.." you replied, slightly confused about what he had just said.
"oh my god this is not possible.." he began as he knelt on the ground, dramatizing the situation even more. "my girlfriend never really listens to me... what have I done to deserve this.."
a slight nervous laugh left your lips while your boyfriend was still overreacting. your gaze fixed on your boyfriend who was now completely lying on the ground as he slowly began to pretend to cry.
realizing that he wouldn't stop until a few minutes later, you took a seat on the couch and turned on the television, knowing that Jake would soon be his old self again.
"And on top of that I have a girlfriend who doesn't care how I feel right now... I don't understand what I could have done wrong to deserve all this ignorance when I'm the best boyfriend ever.." he continued to complain while you still didn't seem to react to his way of being.
and as you had finally imagined, Jake finally stood up and came to stand beside you, his head resting against your shoulder as he took your hand in his.
"sweetheart.. I spend so much time telling you how wonderful you are that I really wonder if you really listen to me and if you even pay attention to me.." he said almost immediately before slightly turn his head to look at you. "sweetheart.. it's such a stupid question that you asked me every day I leave you post-its on the living room table before I leave so that you have a love message when you wake up in the morning and to go to university... do you realize that every day I find new ways to prove my love to you?"
"Jake.." he started, realizing that if you didn't cut him off he was going to continue for hours and hours. "I know very well that you give me little speeches at the end of the day to tell me how much you are in love, you don't need to react like that... even if it's really funny and adorable to see you react so this way.."
after which he simply raised his head, his drama queen acting disappearing completely while a smile tenderly appeared on his lips and he quickly placed his lips against yours.
"I love you little monster.." he whispered against your lips while smiling.
"I love you too jakey.." you whispered against his lips.
š“² š–§·ĖŠ SUNGHOON
"do you love me Sunghoon?"
when Sunghoon had heard your question, his gaze landed directly on you as he held your hands and gently walked you across the ice with your ice skates on your feet.
"do you really think that's a question to ask while we're on a date at the ice rink, sweetie?" he asked as he directly noticed that look of distress when you understood what he was implying.
"I forbid you from letting go of me Sunghoon you know perfectly well that I won't hold on if you don't hold my hand.." you finally said, begging him with your eyes that he doesn't let go of you.
but, almost as if he had no reason not to listen to you, he let go of your right hand, and you directly felt a slight imbalance on the ice as you looked at Sunghoon again, hoping that he wouldn't Don't let go of your left hand.
and yet, that's exactly what he had done before he disappeared from your field of vision and you felt slightly panicked at the idea of ā€‹ā€‹being without Sunghoon on the ice when you barely knew how to stand on your own. without you ending up falling.
then, as you felt ready to fall on your butt on the ice, you felt an arm slide along your waist before a laugh was heard to your left. and you knew this laugh perfectly since it was that of your boyfriend, and he had allowed himself to place a soft kiss on your lips before holding you so that you did not fall and just after starting to skate in making sure you were comfortable with the speed he had, and inevitably he ended up whispering in your ear.
"you shouldn't ask me that kind of question when we're in a territory where you're not comfortable sweetie.." he started as he continued on his way with you in your arms, making sure that your meeting at the ice rink is pleasant and does not spoil the moment. "then if you need an answer of course I love you, otherwise we wouldn't spend so much time going on dates just the two of us and, above all, I would never be so worried when you're on ice cream if I didn't like you then next time think about asking a little less stupid questions."
"Yes Sunghoon I understand and I know you love me I'm not stupid.." you replied and you noticed a second time that Sunghoon had finally let go of your waist making you panic slightly before he returns to its initial position when you want to meet at the ice rink, that is to say in front of you, ensuring that where you were moving forward.
but this time, as he took your hands in his he pulled himself against him, and quickly placed a kiss on your lips, a smile forming on his lips.
"now if you want we can resume the romantic aspect of our romantic date.." he told you, although he knew that meeting up here was not particularly romantic, but as long as you were with each other you considered it romantic.
š“² š–§·ĖŠ SUNOO
You and Sunoo were in the middle of a movie, in each other's arms while a blanket covered your bodies so you wouldn't get cold. a bowl of popcorn was on your boyfriend's legs as you snuggled up to him, using any excuse to be close to him.
everything was truly perfect, Sunoo had an arm around your waist to hold you against him while you both completely focused on the movie, only the sound effects of the movie being audible in the room as you enjoyed a real little nice romantic evening since you didn't do it as often as you would like.
but quickly your mind was bothered by a question that refused to go away until you felt compelled to ask it. and after ten minutes of fighting with your mind not to have to ask the question your gaze quickly came to Sunoo who was still completely focused on the movie, and a small smile appeared on the corner of your lips.
"Sunoo.. do you love me?"
hearing your question his heart skipped a beat just before his gaze left the television to land on you, and he observed your cute face and that beautiful smile before simply coming to kiss you, almost as if he didn't didn't want to answer the question but right after he whispered against your lips.
"it would be stupid not to love such a beautiful and incredible girl like you sweetie, so of course I love you. and I love you even more than you can imagine in your head."
then he focused back on the movie as if nothing had happened as your cheeks turned red at the confession he had just made to you, your head returning to rest on his shoulder as you focused back on the movie.
"then you are so magnificent that it would be a shame not to be able to tell the other members of the group that you are already taken just to see their faces when they find out.. I am very happy to have you by my side for let you go and I intend to make sure that you stay by my side as long as possible, hopefully for the rest of my life."
your cheeks had become a little redder when you heard him continue his little confession and simply because he seemed to be going into a very complete monologue you were obliged to come and silence him by placing his lips against yours before a small smile fakes between the two of you.
"I understand Sunoo.. and I love you just as much you know.." you ended up saying while taking his hand in yours and you finally continued watching the film while being in each other's arms.
š“² š–§·ĖŠ JUNGWON
Jungwon had his own ways of showing you how much he loved you, so obviously asking him the question meant having to listen to a monologue from him about the many gestures he did just for you to prove his love. but even that didn't stop you from asking him the question anyway.
putting your phone away when you arrived in front of him, you displayed the most beautiful smile of yours just before realizing that he was unfortunately focused on the screen of his phone and therefore that he did not see you. but that also meant you could ask him so you sat next to him, pretending to be curious about what he was doing on his phone by resting your head on his shoulder.
"Jungwonie.. do you love me?" you asked and only two seconds later his phone screen had gone black as he moved slightly so he could look at you fully.
his hands had slid down your cheeks as he looked at you for a few seconds, and just by seeing his look you could imagine that your question had somehow disturbed him.
"Are you sure you're okay sweetheart? You know perfectly well that I love you with everything I do for you.." he began to explain.
and while he seemed to have gone into a monologue about all the things he loved about you, his right hand came to rest on your forehead to check that you weren't sick and that you didn't have a fever but absolutely no signs of illness.
so he looked at you without really understanding your question since you weren't sick, but, even with the confusion he was still monologueing about everything he did for you.
then suddenly, you noticed that he had gotten up leaving him alone in the living room while you didn't even know where he could go since you were also in the living room.
"Jungwon where are you going?" you had asked but absolutely no answer had been heard and you began to wonder if asking him this question was the right thing to do even if it was still for fun, and simply to know the reaction he was going to have.
a few minutes later, you saw your boyfriend come into the living room again, this time with a box in his hands which he placed in front of you. "I'll let you look inside and you'll understand for yourself that yes, I am madly in love with you, sweetheart."
your hands had gripped the box, curious to know what was inside and as soon as you opened it you discovered many letters all containing Jungwon's writing and, reading the contents of one you understood that They were love letters that he had taken the time to write himself simply for you, and you felt your heart warm just by reading them.
but your surprise didn't stop there because apart from the love letters, the box that jungwon had given you was filled with all kinds of things that you had given him, little notes that you had written to him yourself or even tickets to a concert you both went to. there were also many little red paper hearts, and noticing the effort Jungwon had put in just for that you understood.
he was very much in love with you, and he was certainly the most adorable boyfriend you could have ever had so inevitably, when the box was closed and put aside for his safety you found yourself directly in Jungwon's arms, t having fun then placing numerous kisses on his cheeks or his lips.
so much so that he started laughing when he saw the reaction you had with this little box which certainly contained far too large a dose of love just for you.
"you're adorable Jungwon!!" you said with the most beautiful smile on your lips.
"I imagine that you have understood that I am very much in love with you.." he replied with a laugh before taking you in his arms, and following this action a cuddling session had started.
š“² š–§·ĖŠ NIKI
"niki do you love me?"
no sooner had the question left your mouth than he looked up from his phone to look at you, knowing it was a stupid question you had just asked.
"No." he replied almost instantly with a rather disturbing sincerity.
and as soon as you heard his answer, which of course you absolutely didn't appreciate, you came to his side, taking his phone in his hands to put it next to him, forcing him to look at you, something he had done.
"sorry? you don't love me?" you asked a second time to make sure you heard the answer your boyfriend had just told you.
and, bringing his face closer to yours, almost as if he was about to kiss you, Niki looked at you, keeping a serious look as he repeated that same word a second time. "No."
it didn't take much for you to quickly leave his room, showing both your annoyance and your annoyance at the answer he had given you, but instead of reassuring you he let out a slight laugh, amused of your reaction.
and for the rest of the day you found yourself wanting to avoid him after the answer he had given you, not expecting Niki to answer "no" in that way which had annoyed you but also frustrated because, if this was the only moment where Niki had a good chance of saying yes, it was on this type of question.
of course, Niki, seeing your reaction, he couldn't help but remain in his role as a mean friend who had answered no to your question, and he obviously enjoyed annoying you no matter what he could say to you or do. after all, Niki found any excuse to act like a child when he could, and your question being stupid he was going to act even more stupid for the rest of the day.
it was only in the evening, when you were both under the covers that he slipped his arm around your waist to pull you back against him, knowing full well that you wanted to show him your displeasure but it wasn't working.
he placed a kiss on your cheek before whispering in your ear "you should have asked me how much I loved you instead.. the answer would have been easier and it would have saved you from scolding me all day kitten.."
but no response from you, you just remained silent not wanting in any way to show that you were about to just turn to face him.
"kitten... ask me the question, I promise you will get a positive answer" he whispered in your ear again as he placed a kiss on your cheek again.
"okay.." you finally responded, knowing perfectly well that niki wasn't going to leave you alone until you spoke. "How much do you love me Niki?"
"Really bad kitten... really like crazy"
and this simple answer made you blush almost immediately while a smile appeared on your lips.
"your question this morning was stupid... so obviously my answer was going to be just as stupid"
after which he just left many kisses on your cheeks just to tease you.
"I'm in love with you like crazy and I'm a little more in love with you every day so never doubt that sweetheart.."
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thanks you for reading all of this itā€™s really sweet ! hope that you liked each of the members scenarios and that you enjoyed reading !
anyways loves you, see you soon !! šŸ’—
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alittlebitofsainz Ā· 7 months ago
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- he kissed me right in front of my friends -
prompt: ā€œi threw a party, he kissed me right in front of my friends, i felt so far from the cliffs.ā€
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: if you could have one birthday wish granted, it would be that you no longer had to hide your relationship.
a/n: lyrics from track #89 there it goes by maisie peters :)
masterlist | the spotify wrapped collection
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ā€œhey, happy birthday baby!ā€
you couldnā€™t help but let your lips curve into a soft smile as lando pressed a kiss to your cheek, holding out a bag full of presents as he stepped inside your apartment. you accepted it graciously, eyes wide at the sheer number of gifts.
ā€œlan, you really didnā€™t have toā€¦ā€
ā€œI wanted to.ā€ he cut you off with a shake of his head, ā€œfor my special girl.ā€
he leaned forward to press a kiss to your lips, but you quickly batted him away.
ā€œcareful, lan, people might see!ā€ you giggled, looking up at him like heā€™d lost his mind. it had been eight months of keeping your relationship under wraps, and while you both understood why it had to be that way, it still didnā€™t make it easy. it was moments like these where you yearned for a normal relationship, one where your partner wasnā€™t in the spotlight, one where he could give you a kiss on your birthday and it wouldnā€™t be plastered all over social media the next day. but it was worth it, you thought as you looked up at landoā€™s face, eagerly waiting for you to open your presents. it was worth it to call him yours, even if it was only in secret.
yeah, it was worth it, you thought, as you watched lando laughing uncontrollably at something max had said, the two of them stationed behind the dj booth youā€™d hired for the party. in general, lando didnā€™t go much on drinking, and heā€™d sworn off djing for the most part, but he was willing to make exceptions for your special day, and you smiled to see him enjoying himself. your best friend followed your gaze, noticing you phasing out of the group conversation you were in, and nudged you.
ā€œyouā€™re staring, y/n. you totally fancy him.ā€ she teased, and for a moment you almost slipped up, you almost replied with yeah, I really do. but you caught yourself, instead laughing it off with a sharp shake of your head, elbowing her right back.
ā€œknock it off, weā€™re just mates.ā€ you protested, but your friend arched an eyebrow and pursed her lips in a way that suggested that she didnā€™t quite believe you. she opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment, the lights shut off and the music cut out. you instinctively glanced over back towards the dj booth, eyes searching for lando, confused to find him gone. but the confusion only lasted for a moment as a glow of light emerged from the kitchen; twenty lit candles pressed into a cake, held up by lando as he brought it across the room towards you, all your friends joining in and singing happy birthday to you. you grinned, feeling tears prick your eyes. god, youā€™d never been happier. there was only one thing that couldā€™ve made this day more incredible, and you sighed to yourself as you watched lando bring the cake closer, lowering it slightly so you could blow out the candles. his eyes locked on yours for just a moment, and you swore you felt your heart stop.
ā€œmake a wish.ā€ he murmured.
you blew out the candles, earning a cheer and a few hip hip hoorays from your friends gathered around you. lando set the cake down on the table, another friend stepping in to help cut and distribute it to guests, allowing you just a moment to talk whilst everyone was distracted.
ā€œwhat did you wish for?ā€ he asked, voice low, making you lean in to be able to hear him above the music which had started up again. you arched an eyebrow.
ā€œif I tell you, it wonā€™t come true.ā€ you retorted, the corner of your lips curving up into a wry smile. it always gave you butterflies, flirting with lando in public. something about it made you feel like you were still in that stage where anything could happen, like you were just starting to get to know him all over again. his expression changed slightly as he reached into his back pocket.
ā€œnow donā€™t yell at me, but I got you one last present.ā€
ā€œlando!ā€ you protested; youā€™d already admonished him earlier after youā€™d opened all your gifts from him. you could tell heā€™d spent a lot of money, more than you believed you deserved, on anything youā€™d ever mentioned wanting. shoes, a nice handbag, a designer coat, expensive earrings. but it wasnā€™t just material things, heā€™d got tickets to than gig you mentioned you wanted to go to, taken out an annual membership for the gardens you always liked going to for some peace and quiet, donated money to the shelter your parents adopted the family dog from. it was far too much, yet lando insisted it wasnā€™t enough to show you how much he loved you.
ā€œI said donā€™t yell at me!ā€ he replied playfully, producing a small wrapped item and holding it out to you, ā€œitā€™s not an expensive one. itā€™s justā€¦ well, just open it and see.ā€
you peeled off the wrapping paper with gentle fingers, the package feeling so delicate in your hands compared to all the other larger gifts heā€™d showered you with. it revealed a gold necklace, with a single ā€˜Lā€™ hanging from the chain. you looked at it, awestruck, running a finger over the gold letter.
ā€œlan, this is beautiful.ā€ you murmured softly.
ā€œto remind you how much I love you, even if I canā€™t always show it.ā€ he explained softly, and you felt a lump form in your throat. it was so bittersweet, you thought, as he took the necklace from your hands and instructed you to turn around so he could fasten it round your neck. the necklace was like some sort of twisted metaphor for your relationship, always there but often hidden. you turned back to face him, glancing down to admire the jewellery for a moment. if people saw this, it wouldnā€™t take them long to join the dots, to make the connection, especially if you were next to lando. you sighed, reaching to take the ā€˜Lā€™ between your fingers and tuck it under your top, to hide it away. but landoā€™s hand was on yours in an instant, holding it in place, his fingers clasped round yours, clasped round the golden letter. you looked up in surprise.
ā€œdonā€™t hide it.ā€ he said softly, ā€œfuck it. I want people to see it. I want them to know.ā€
the confidence with which he had said it startled you, but in the best way. you barely had time to process the words before his hand had snaked around your waist, pulling you to him, his lips on yours in an instant. it wasnā€™t a gentle kiss; it was a kiss that let everyone know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you were his, and he was yours.
you pulled away for a moment, eyes on him, but in your peripheral vision you clocked a few of your friends watching the two of you, mouths open, slices of cake forgotten about. your best friend had a smug grin on her face, one that said that she knew all along. you saw max begrudgingly slip pietra a ten pound note. lando saw it too, and laughed. and then you laughed. and then you kissed him again.
ā€œhappy birthday.ā€ he murmured, resting his forehead on yours.
ā€œI got my birthday wish.ā€ you murmured in reply.
a/n: and thus concludes the little ā€˜just friendsā€™ mixtape! check out the previous tracks below:
told her you were just a friend | just donā€™t want your friend to see
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miserycanary Ā· 8 months ago
Text
TAKE IT OR LEAVE HIM į”£š­© ā¤· next
pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley & reader
synopsis: Ghost forgets your birthday
tag: slight slight angst
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Hectic doesnā€™t begin to describe Ghostā€™s schedule, yet you accepted him with open arms. He needs to cut your dinner short because heā€™s needed back at the base? You nod with a smile full of understanding. He forgets a few chores and groceries because heā€™s piled up with tasks? You kiss his forehead and tell him itā€™s fine, and you just work around it and rush during your office breaks to do those tasks on your own. Youā€™re exhausted from being held back at the office because the client changed their mind during the finalization, but you come home to a pile of dirty dishes and no dinner? You say you understand, washing up and going to bed while feeling your stomach grumble and waking up to wash the previous nightā€™s dishes just to lessen Ghostā€™s worries.
You had no problem bending backwards just to accommodate him. You entered the relationship knowing about his schedule, soā€¦ were you really in any position to complain?Ā 
A few insignificant tasks and miniscule adjustments to your schedule were nothing; never once uttered a complaint because you understood. Why? Because Ghost always finds a way to make it up to you. Sending bouquets when you close a big deal, treating you to a fancy restaurant during your birthday (though heā€™s mostly never there to celebrate until the end), and gifting you branded things during your anniversariesā€¦ so, it was all okayā€¦.. ?
Yes, itā€™s fine if he never shows up for your dinner date because of work.Ā 
Yes, itā€™s fine that you spend most nights alone.Ā 
Yes, you can clean the house, shop for groceries, do the laundry, and cook for the both of you.Ā 
It was all okay. You were okay with it. You accepted it. You understood. You can do it. Youā€™re fine. Itā€™s all worth it. Itā€™s not worth any trouble. Itā€™s fineā€”
You snap back and all thoughts stop rushing into your head. Your phone blares an alarm with the words, ā€˜DATE NIGHTā€™, flashing on the screen. Right, itā€™s your birthday and Ghost promised heā€™d finally make it this time. So, you wore the prettiest dress, applied the most gorgeous (and time-consuming) makeup, and put on the cutest heels (your feet are getting blisters) because you wanted to spend this night with the man you love most on your Earthā€¦ who wasnā€™t by your side right now, but itā€™s fine.Ā 
The waiter approaches the table, asking you for what seems to be the 6th time that night if your company is coming because theyā€™re about to close. Giving up, you offer an apologetic smile and gather your things. The walk out the restaurant was embarrassing to say the least. Harsh winter air greets your face, your legs and arms trembling as you try to seek warmth from the take-out bag. You didnā€™t bring a jacket because, well, you thought Ghost would be there with you, but itā€™s fine.
The apartment door clicks open and a dark hallway awaits you. ā€˜Ah, heā€™s not here yet,ā€™ you think to yourself, a pang of disappointment piercing your heart that raised its hope for one night. With a wince and a pained gasp, your heels come undone. Muted footsteps along the wooden floorboards as you strip out your clothes and wash up. You resign the night with your lover nowhere to be foundā€” once again, but itā€™s fine.Ā 
Morning dawn cracks through your curtains with a familiar arm around your waist and familiar dip on the mattress. You blink your sleepiness away, taking in every detail of your Simonā€™s face in the morning. Like he has a third sense, he wakes and stares back at you. First smiles of the day are shared between you two but you expected more. Nothing too grand. Maybe an apology and a greeting? Yet the day goes by with receiving neither, but itā€™s fine. Maybe the next dayā€™s the charm?Ā 
Nothing.
Irritation towards your lover is a rare occurrence with your endless patience and never-ending understanding of his situation. You still held hopes that maybe heā€™d finally realize his slip-up, but what did you come home to? Dirty dishes. A pile of them.Ā 
ā€œAh, sweetheart. Youā€™re home,ā€ he kisses your cheek and presses your waist close to him like usual. The scent of whiskey and cigar lingers on his clothesā€” a scent you usually adore but now only fuels your anger. ā€œSi, whatā€™s this?ā€ you ask, trying to keep your frustration at bay as you point to the sink. ā€œWhat? Oh, noticed ā€˜ya didnā€™t make dinner so I ate whatā€™s ever left,ā€ he answers cooly like thereā€™s nothing wrong.
ā€œ... do you mean you ate my lunch for tomorrow?ā€Ā 
ā€œThat yours? Sorry, baby. ā€˜Ya can jusā€™ make another one, and one for me.ā€
You pull away, slapping his face with tears rushing down your face. Ghost looks at you with shock and confusion which angers you further. How can he not realize why youā€™re mad?
ā€œWoah, woah. Whatā€™s wrong, doll?ā€
ā€œDONā€™T CALL ME THAT. Oh, my fucking God, Simon. Youā€™re really asking me that?ā€ you run your fingers through your hair, screaming at his face and throwing your purse at him. ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?? You tell me! I slave away at this goddamn house. I go to bed with my bones feeling like weights because I keep cleaning after your mess, but itā€™s fine! Because you were busy, I understood.ā€
Tension builds in the air as everything youā€™ve held back poured out of you. ā€œI never complained because I told you I was fine with your schedule when we first started dating. I fucking bend my body backwards and did everything for you LIKE A MAID. And you have the audacity to ask me whatā€™s wrong? You donā€™t even ask me how my day went. Asking me to cook for you like Iā€™m just a housekeeper? YOU DONā€™T EVEN DO ANYTHING FOR ME.ā€ You stomp over to his face, glaring with hatred as you spat out your next words. ā€œJust a fucking reminder that I am your girlfriend. I am not here to clean up after you.ā€
ā€œDid I ask you to?ā€ he snaps back, returning the same vile stare. ā€œYouā€™re whining about working around the house like I asked you to. Letā€™s be clear that I never forced you to do these shits around the house.ā€
ā€œYou didnā€™t have to! You just kept piling up dishes and clothes, leaving a messy trail behind you because you know you expect me to do it for you!ā€
ā€œAnd did those come for free? I buy you everything you want on anniversaries and birthdays. You act as if you come for cheap,ā€ he scoffs.
"WELL, GUESS WHAT? YOU FUCKING FORGOT IT THIS YEAR,ā€ you finally confess through sobs. Realization dawns upon your lover, evident on the way his face drops. He tries to approach you but you step back.
ā€œI waited for you like a fool because you promised. I-.. I.. had to tell the waiter 5 times that you were coming because they were on the verge of throwing me out. Did you know how embarrassing it was for me? Iā€¦ I know I shouldnā€™t have kept my hopes up but I wanted to believe in you, but.. Iā€™m tired.ā€
Silence blankets you both as every emotion rushes through your heart. Your throat felt raw and your head was getting heavy from all the crying.
ā€œIā€™m done, Ghost. Iā€™m tired," you whisper. Those words were simple but Ghost knew what lies underneath. You weren't tired of what you did for him. You were tired of him.
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ź’°įƒ ā˜† ą»’ź’±: woah, angst again? Anyone surprised? This request has been sitting on my inbox for a while but I have enough free time to answer them, so here we are. I will make a Kƶnig version if this gets attention. šŸ“©
dividers by @cafekitsune
Please reblog!! Ask is open!
check out my other works in the masterlist: ą­­!
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halfmoonaria Ā· 7 days ago
Text
what i canā€™t say
pairing: tara carpenter & female reader
summary: tara wants the only person she canā€™t have, but sheā€™ll do whatever it takes to change that ā€”even if it means risking everything.
word count: 10.7k
authorā€™s note: yall donā€™t forget to wish me a happy birthday this friday on the 22nd!
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Tara wasn't used to hearing the word "no."
Growing up, she'd mastered the art of getting exactly what she wanted, whether it was a toy, a treat, or just a little more attention.
All it took was a well-timed look, a hint of a pout, or a small scene in a public placeā€”not that she ever felt bad about it. After all, it always worked, and it always felt worth it.
But more than any toy or treat, Tara always seemed to have what she wanted most: you.
Her best friend since... well, since you both were small enough to think scraped knees were the end of the world. You'd been there from the start, the friend who laughed with her, who stood by her through every phase and whim.
Tara didn't have to beg or throw a fit to keep you close. You just were. It was like you were woven into each other's lives, and if anyone asked, she'd say you'd always be thereā€”like you were something she'd managed to keep just for herself.
If anyone asked, Tara couldn't quite recall a time before you.
You were there in every memory that mattered, the friend who understood her quirks, finished her sentences, and knew every dream she'd ever had.
You were inseparable, not just in the way kids cling to each other, but in the way people do when they know they'll never quite find someone who gets them like this again.
You shared everything with your clothes, midnight snacks, and every embarrassing crush you'd ever had.
You laughed together about the silly things you thought were love back then, sharing conversations about who you'd marry someday and who had the best smile.
Although. Tara was always a little quieter during these talks, listening more than sharing, and you never thought much of it. That was just Tara, after all, always keeping a bit of herself back, tucked away in her own mind.
But when it came to your middle school crush, she never missed a chance to tease you, brushing him off as if he wasn't as special as you seemed to think.
She'd laugh and tell you he wasn't as funny as you made him out to be, or that his smile really wasn't anything to write home about.
To you, it was just typical Tara, always finding a way to poke holes in the things you liked.
You didn't notice how her smile faltered when you gushed over him or how her gaze turned a little sharper, though even she didn't fully understand why.
It left her with an uneasy feeling, the kind she could never quite explain, that made her want to change the subject whenever she could.
And as time passed during this time, it seemed like your crush only grew, and so did the way you talked about him.
No matter how many times Tara brushed off your comments or tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, you still lit up whenever his name came up.
Brian.
Brian slipped into conversations almost daily, whether it was about the way he made everyone laugh in class or how he'd held the door for you that morning. And each time you brought him up, Tara felt a pang of irritation she couldn't quite explain.
She never told you how much she despised Brian, but the feeling ran deep. It gnawed at her whenever you mentioned him, and even though she tried to brush it off, she found herself disliking him more and more.
The worst part was, she couldn't understand why. It wasn't like you weren't allowed to like a boyā€”that was just part of life, after all.
Whenever she hinted at her frustration with her mom, she'd hear the same thing: it was normal, fun even, to have a crush, and Tara would experience it too someday.
But she hadn't. She'd never felt that way about any boy in your grade, no matter how many times she tried to convince herself she should.
It confused her, and in a way, it confused you too. You'd always laughed off the fact that Tara never seemed to "crush" the way you did, teasing her about how she'd figure it out someday.
But whenever you'd gush over Brian, Tara would just sit quietly, trying to ignore the strange knot in her stomach that seemed to tighten with every word you said.
Time went on, and those middle school crushes never quite faded.
Brian only seemed to grow more attractive, transitioning from the shy boy you liked to someone who was effortlessly charming, with a confidence that made everyone notice him.
Back then, you'd have called him "cute," but now, there were new wordsā€”hot, gorgeousā€”terms that made Tara roll her eyes every time they left your mouth.
But you still felt that rush of excitement when he was around, that same giddiness you'd had since you were ten, only now it felt a little more real.
Tara, on the other hand, hadn't changed much when it came to relationships.
While others around you both dated, broke up, and fell in love, she stayed quietly distant, brushing off questions and teasing about why she never seemed interested in anyone.
The truth was, she didn't really know why herself. There was a part of her that felt left out when you gushed about Brian, when your other friends talked about crushes or brought dates to dances. She tried to tell herself that she just wasn't interested yet, that maybe someday she'd feel what everyone else seemed to.
But as the years went by, Tara started to realize that maybe she was differentā€”and she couldn't shake the strange sense of frustration that came with that realization, especially whenever Brian was mentioned.
Somewhere along the way, as high school turned into something more serious, so did her thoughts about you.
Tara didn't want to admit it at firstā€”not to herself, not to anyone. The idea crept up quietly, unexpected and unwanted, like some shadow she couldn't shake.
The way you'd laugh at something silly, the familiar warmth of your hand in hers, or the way her heart would skip when you'd throw an arm around her shoulders. It all made sense now, but it was a sense she desperately didn't want.
When the realization hit her, it was like she couldn't breathe.
There was this tiny voice in her mind that whispered, almost cruelly, You're in love with her. Tara's immediate reaction was to shut it down, to deny it with everything she had. This couldn't be right. She wasn't in love with you.
That wasn't what best friends did. She told herself she was just confused, that maybe it was normal to feel this strongly about someone you'd known your entire life.
But every time she saw you look at Brianā€”every time you said his name with that sparkle in your eyesā€”it felt like a punch to the gut, and there was no denying it anymore.
The more she tried to reason with herself, the clearer it became. And that terrified her.
She couldn't let herself feel this way about you. You were her best friend, the person who knew her better than anyone else.
The idea of telling youā€”of you finding out and looking at her with pity, or worse, disgustā€”made her stomach twist. She could already imagine the awkward smile, the way you might back away, laugh it off, or even leave her behind. It would shatter her, and she knew that.
And so, she decided then and there that this secret would stay with her.
She'd lock it away, bury it so deep that even she could forget about it someday. Telling anyoneā€”even her parentsā€”wasn't an option.
Not only did she fear their reaction, but she knew they wouldn't understand. To them, you were her friend, nothing more, and the thought of losing you, or of anyone making her feel like her love was wrong, was enough to keep her quiet.
But keeping quiet wasn't easy. The secret felt like it was burning a hole through her, consuming her thoughts and leaving her frustrated in ways she couldn't explain.
She wanted to be around you, but every moment with you felt like a reminder of what she could never have, and it only made the ache grow stronger.
She was angry, scared, and hopelessly in love with the one person she could never tell.
So she became skilled at hiding the depth of her feelings, putting on a mask that had somehow become part of her daily life.
She played her role well, acting like nothing had changed between you both.
At school, she kept her gaze casual, listening to you talk as if she didn't want to lose herself in the way your lips moved.
During sleepovers, she'd lie next to you, forcing herself to focus on anything but the warmth of your arm just inches from hers.
And at parties, now that you were both old enough to go, she'd laugh and dance alongside you, all while pretending her stomach wasn't in knots from the way you looked at her under dim lights, a playful grin lighting up your face.
It was like living with a constant tug-of-war inside her, balancing between wanting to be near you and needing to keep her heart steady.
She'd perfected the art of nonchalance, even when you made it nearly impossible. When you got excited about somethingā€”eyes wide, laughing about some small victoryā€”Tara would have to swallow down the urge to reach out, to brush a strand of hair from your face or lean in just a little closer.
The hardest moments were the little things, the 'normal' things, like when you'd give her an easy, carefree compliment, your eyes warm and sincere.
She'd feel the blush rise to her cheeks, and she'd quickly look away or laugh it off, hoping you didn't notice the way her voice wavered.
And when you held her hands, like you always did, squeezing them to give her a little boost of courage, she'd act as though it didn't send her heart racing, as though she wasn't fighting the impulse to hold on tighter.
Every smile you threw her way, every moment you lingered too close, she had to act like it didn't make her insides flip.
She trained herself to respond with that same easy smile, to pretend she didn't feel like the air had been knocked out of her whenever you looked at her like she was the only one in the room.
It was a constant game of pretending, a battle against herself that she had to win every single day.
And as much as she tried to hide it, each touch, each laugh, each simple, familiar look left her more tangled in her own emotions.
She tried to tell herself that these things were just... normal. Friends did these things all the time, she told herself, even if everything in her felt far from normal.
But no matter how many times she told herself that, her resolve was starting to crack. She couldn't help but notice her jealousy flare up when she saw you talking to other people, especially Brian.
Then, one Tuesday at lunch, you dropped a bombshell that flipped her world just a bit more.
She leaned back, half-focused on your conversation with the others at the table, when she saw you walking toward her with a grin so bright it felt like it could light up the whole room.
Tara felt her heart jump at the sight, her thoughts immediately swept into the excitement that was clearly radiating off of you.
You barely took your seat before bursting with excitement. "Tara!"
Tara's smile matched yours, though a part of her already felt a small pang of unease. But she pushed it aside and leaned in eagerly, mirroring your excitement. "What happened?"
You practically glowed as you told her, "He sat next to me in class today." Tara's chest tightened, but she held her expression steady, keeping that casual, easy smile.
She already knew who you meantā€”you didn't even have to say his name. It was in the way your voice softened, how your eyes sparkled with excitement she rarely saw except when you were really, really happy.
She couldn't stand the sight of it. Seeing you so... in love, so giddy, felt like a punch she wasn't ready for.
You practically glowed, your whole personality seeming to shift as if you were that younger version of yourself again, like back in middle school when every new crush filled you with wide-eyed excitement.
Except now, it wasn't an innocent schoolgirl crush; it was real, and you were already slipping further from her reach with each passing second.
Tara kept smiling, but inside, every bit of her was tangled up in knots.
You'd never look at her like that. Never talk about her with that bubbly, uncontainable happiness. The thought clawed at her, a reminder she could never push away.
She was your best friend, sure, but she'd never be the person who made your cheeks flush or your heart race. And somehow, knowing that made it even harder to keep that same easy smile on her face.
"And?" she asked, hoping her voice didn't betray her, even as she felt a knot forming. She listened as you recounted every word, every laugh you'd shared with him in that class.
Then you dropped the real news, your eyes sparkling. Your grin only widened. "And then, right before class ended, he asked me to go with him to that party next weekend."
Tara's heart sank, yet she barely let the smile slip. She forced herself to open her mouth in surprise, eyes wide, like she was just as thrilled as you were. "Really?" she said, trying to sound as shocked and happy as you seemed, her voice just a bit too bright. "Did you... did you say yes?"
Of course you did. Tara felt stupid for even considering asking you that question.
But you didn't seem to mind, you just nodded eagerly, your whole face lighting up. "Obviously!"
"Oh, wow. That's... that's great, actually," she said, her voice a little too steady, but it was the best she could manage.
Inside, though, she was unraveling. You were actually going with him. It shouldn't have been such a shockā€”after all, this was what you wanted, right?
But knowing that you'd be there, dressed up, all smiles and laughter... with him... felt like a lead weight sinking in her chest.
She could already picture it, the two of you in some dimly lit room with music thumping, Ethan leaning in close to say something to make you laugh, you smiling up at him like he was the only person in the world.
The thought of it made her throat tighten, her mind racing with feelings she didn't even want to name.
"Are you excited?" she asked, her voice coming out just barely above a whisper. She hoped you wouldn't notice how strained it sounded, how much effort it took just to ask.
You nodded, your smile impossibly bright. "Yeah, I mean... I didn't think he even noticed me like that, you know? But now... maybe he does."
The way you said itā€”hopeful, almost in disbeliefā€”cut deeper than she wanted to admit. Maybe he does. Those three words stayed in her head, echoing louder with each second.
She was supposed to be happy for you, and maybe part of her was, but mostly, she just felt hollow.
Because even though you'd never know it, she'd been looking at you the way you were looking at him, longing for that same chance to mean something more to you. And now she was faced with the awful reality that she might never get that chance.
Swallowing down the bitterness, she forced a tight-lipped smile. "You'll have a great time, I'm sure."
But even as she said it, a part of her was already wondering if she'd do something she'd regret. The thought of watching you fall for someone elseā€”someone who wasn't herā€”was more than she could stand.
And as much as she hated to admit it, she knew she'd do almost anything to keep you from slipping away.
Your eyes brightened again. "You should come with us!"
Tara's heart twisted at the invitation, feeling both flattered and devastated. Of course you'd want her there, being the good friend you wereā€”unaware of what it did to her to see you light up over someone else.
Forcing herself to stay casual, she shrugged, managing a small playful smirk. "I'm not exactly great at third-wheeling."
Her voice sounded steady enough, but inside, it felt like she was clinging to the last threads of composure.
She couldn't stand the thought of watching you fall for him right in front of her, yet the idea of saying no, of letting you go without her... that hurt, too.
Maybe if she was there, she could stop whatever was beginning to grow between you and him. Just maybe, she thought, she'd find a way to keep you by her side, where you'd always belonged.
Her mind spun, the smile on her face frozen, all she could focus on was the sinking realization that she might actually lose you.
Until now, she'd convinced herself that her feelings for you were something she could handle, something she'd eventually learn to live with. But now, with Brian's name hanging between you, that quiet acceptance shattered.
She could see the way this might unfold, each painful step already clear in her mind.
She'd watched enough romance movies to know how these things went, and as much as she wanted to push the thoughts away, they crept in, vivid and unrelenting.
First, you'd go to the party together, and maybe he'd make you laugh so much that you'd find yourself leaning in, your hand brushing his.
She could already picture the two of you on future datesā€”sharing secrets over a quiet dinner or standing too close on some sidewalk, your face lit up in a way that made her stomach twist with envy.
And worse, she could imagine what might happen after those dates, how one day soon he'd reach for your hand, and you wouldn't hesitate to hold his back.
She didn't want to picture it, but the thought seeped into her mind anyway, filling her with a fierce, unfamiliar ache.
The image of you wrapped up in his arms, whispering into his ear, orā€”even worseā€”laughing with that same joy you always shared with her, but this time meant for him, made her chest feel hollow.
The thought kept spiraling, her mind betraying her with scenes she couldn't bear to picture.
You, with Brian, alone, closer than she'd ever be, maybe even leaning in for a kiss.
She imagined his hand brushing your cheek, the two of you getting so lost in each other that you forgot everyone else around youā€”including her.
The jealousy was sharp, hotter than anything she'd felt before.
She hated the way it took over, the way it made her feel small and powerless, like she was losing something that had never even been hers to begin with.
And then, a terrible, aching thought hit her: she might never get to be close to you in that way.
She might never get to be the person who held you, who kissed you, who made you laugh like that.
It wasn't just about watching you fall for someone elseā€”it was the crushing realization that you might never look at her the way you looked at him.
Maybe it would be better if she came along?
The idea took a root in Tara's mind, an unexpected, half-formed plan that both excited and unsettled her.
If she went to the party with you and Brian, it might give her a chance to keep things from moving forward between you two.
She could play it off as tagging along to "keep an eye" on you, to make sure you had funā€”and stay close enough to step in if Brian tried anything. It was risky, maybe even a little desperate, but what choice did she have?
At least if she was there, she'd know exactly what was happening. She wouldn't have to lie awake later, imagining him whispering things in your ear, pulling you close, stealing the attention she wanted only for herself.
She could keep you safe from all that, and maybe, if she was careful enough, find subtle ways to draw your attention back to her, where it belonged.
In her mind, it sounded almost justified. A "protective friend" sticking close to make sure you were all right. But the truth simmered beneath that excuseā€”she knew this was more than friendship, that she wanted to keep you to herself in ways you might never understand.
If Brian was going to try to win you over, he'd have to do it with her there, watching his every move, ready to swoop in the second things started looking too cozy.
And maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to make sure that night ended with you still hersā€”still looking at her with that easy, trusting smile that had always been her anchor.
Her chest tightened at the thought of it, the chance to stay close to you a little longer, to stave off the reality she dreaded.
If you didn't have the chance to fall for himā€”if she could prevent thatā€”maybe she'd finally have the time and courage to make you see her the way she saw you.
You nudged her lightly, snapping Tara out of her thoughts, leaning in with that familiar, hopeful smile that always made it so hard to say no to you. "Come on, Tara. It'll be funā€”just this once. Please?"
Tara's chest tightened at the way you looked at her, like her answer actually mattered to you. It made something inside her ache, the way your face lit up with excitement, completely oblivious to the storm brewing in her mind.
She should've said no. She wanted to say no.
But the thought of watching you leave without herā€”without knowing what might happen between you and Brianā€”made her stomach twist painfully.
And now, thanks to the idea she'd let herself entertain earlier, the thought of staying home didn't feel like an option anymore.
That plan, desperate and reckless as it was, had already taken root, and no matter how much a small part of her whispered it wasn't right, she couldn't let it go.
What if she stayed behind and missed her chance to stop something from blossoming between the two of you? What if she sat in her room, alone, while you fell for him right in front of everyone? The mere idea made her skin crawl.
But going wasn't any better. If she went, she'd have to watch you fawn over him, maybe even see you with him. And that thought was enough to make her want to bolt from the room. Yet here you were, looking at her like her presence actually mattered.
But why? Did you think she needed convincing, or was there some part of you that truly wanted her by your side? Her stomach churned at the thought.
She hesitated, her fingers brushing the hem of her shirt as she tried to keep her expression neutral. If she said no, you'd go without her, and that stung more than she wanted to admit. But if she said yes...
Her mind spun with the possibilities. She didn't even know what she'd do if she wentā€”how far she was willing to take this twisted plan of hers. But what she did know, with a growing certainty, was that she couldn't stay behind. Not when the thought of Brian pulling you closer was enough to make her chest burn with jealousy.
Your face shifted slightly, your brows knitting together when she didn't answer right away.
"Tara," you pressed gently, your voice dipping into that teasing tone you always used when you were trying to coax her into something. "Come on," you pressed again, your grin widening when she hesitated. "You have to come. It won't be the same without you."
It won't be the same without you.
Those words sealed it, though not in the way you meant them to. Something twisted and desperate bloomed in her chest, making her pulse quicken.
You didn't even realize it, but you were giving her exactly what she wanted: a reason to stay close. A reason to be where she could see youā€”and control what happened between you and Brian.
"Fine," she said at last, forcing a smirk that didn't quite reach her eyes. "But don't complain when I tell you it sucks."
The way your entire face lit up at her answer sent an ache through her chest. Her stomach fluttered against her will, a mix of longing and guilt tangling together in a way that made it hard to breathe. She hated how much it affected her, how happy you seemed just because she'd agreed to go.
She looked away quickly, pretending to focus on something across the room, anything to avoid the way your joy sent another wave of guilt and longing through her.
She knew it wasn't rightā€”none of this was. But she couldn't let it go. Not when her plan had already started to take shape. Not when the thought of Brian having you was enough to make her reckless.
Because no matter how hard she tried to tell herself this was just a party, just a stupid night out, deep down, she knew she wasn't going for the music or the fun.
She was going because if Brian thought he was going to win you over tonight, he was dead wrong.
___
"What about this one?"
Tara looked up from where she was sitting on the edge of your bed, her gaze drawn to the shimmering fabric you held up against yourself. It was a short, fitted dress, one you'd clearly been saving for a moment like this.
The way Tara sat there, watching you flit around the room, sifting through piles of clothes you'd pulled from your closet.
It reminded her of when you were younger, back when the two of you would raid your moms' closets, parading around in oversized heels and dresses that pooled around your feet. You'd giggle uncontrollably, striking exaggerated poses in front of the mirror.
But this wasn't dress-up anymore.
Now, the clothes were your ownā€”real, grown-up outfits that fit you perfectly, accentuating curves and edges Tara wasn't sure she was supposed to notice. It wasn't just playtime; this was your life now. And tonight, you weren't dressing up for laughs or pretend tea parties.
You were dressing up for him.
Her eyes flickered briefly over the dress before settling on your face. You were beaming, the excitement practically radiating off you as you turned to the mirror, holding the dress against your body.
She should've said something. A simple "looks great" or even a teasing "a bit much, don't you think?" would've worked, but the words caught in her throat.
It wasn't the dressā€”it was the way your whole body hummed with energy, the way your smile was just a little too wide, your movements a little too quick. Tara saw it all, and it was like watching you wear your feelings on your sleeve.
The way you twirled the dress in front of the mirror, the way your hands moved restlessly as you smoothed down imaginary creasesā€”it was all too familiar. She knew exactly what you were feeling, even if you didn't say it out loud.
Did Brian? She doubted it.
He didn't know the little things, like how your voice got higher when you were nervous or how you couldn't stand still when you were excited. He didn't know the way your lips pressed together when you were thinking too hard about something or the way your shoulders tensed when you wanted something to go perfectly.
He didn't know you, not like she did.
"What do you think?" you asked again, snapping her out of her thoughts. You turned, holding the dress out at arm's length, giving her a better look. "Too much? Not enough?"
Tara forced a smile, her heart twisting as she watched you. "I think it's... nice," she said carefully, her voice steady even as her stomach churned.
Nice. The word felt like a betrayal. It didn't come close to how she really feltā€”how beautiful you looked, how much she wished those bright eyes were sparkling for her instead of someone else.
"You think Brian'll like it?" you asked, your tone innocent, but the question struck Tara like a punch.
She swallowed hard, her fingers curling into the fabric of your comforter. She wanted to tell you Brian didn't deserve you, that he wouldn't know how to appreciate all the little things that made you you. But instead, she kept her tone casual, masking the storm inside her.
"I mean... yeah," she said after a pause. "It's hard not to like you in anything."
Your grin widened, lighting up the room in a way that made her stomach flutter. You didn't notice the tightness in her smile, the way her eyes lingered on you for just a second too long.
"You're the best." you said, turning back to the mirror.
Tara's chest tightened, a quiet ache settling beneath her ribs. She glanced away, forcing a small smile as she leaned back on her hands.
She let her fingers dug slightly into the comforter as she watched you move across the room again, this time heading toward your closet. You sifted through the hangers with an almost frantic energy, pulling out one piece of clothing after another until something caught your eye.
"This," you announced, holding up a sleek black skirt and a tiny top with delicate lace accents.
Tara blinked, her focus shifting from the faint hum of her own thoughts to the outfit in your hands. The skirt was just short enough to grab attention, and the top would clung to the curves in all the right placesā€”your curves, she couldn't help but think.
Her stomach twisted again, but not with the same bitterness from earlier. No, this was something else entirely. She couldn't stop herself from picturing you in it, couldn't stop the way her mind immediately conjured the image of you standing there, all done up, looking effortlessly hot and completely out of her reach.
She swallowed hard, tearing her gaze away. "You're not wearing the dress?" she asked, her voice steadier than she felt.
"Oh, I am," you replied with a grin, holding the outfit closer to her. "This is for you!"
Tara froze. For a moment, she forgot how to breathe, her chest tightening as your words sank in.
She had been so caught up in watching you, so wrapped up in her own spiral of emotions, that she had momentarily forgotten she was actually going to this party.
"Me?" she echoed, her brows furrowing slightly as she tried to act like the idea of dressing up didn't make her stomach drop.
You laughed softly, stepping closer to hold the outfit up against her frame. "Yeah, you! Come on, Tara, you can't just wear that." You half-pointed to her attire.
Tara's eyes darted to the mirror, catching a glimpse of herself in her usual hoodie and jeans.
She had planned on blending into the background tonight, just another shadow in the corner, but now you were holding out a version of herself she wasn't sure she wanted to confront.
"It's... a little much, don't you think?" she murmured, her fingers brushing over the fabric.
"Not at all," you said, undeterred. "Trust me, you'll look amazing.
The way you looked at her, so excited, so hopeful, made it impossible for her to argue. The truth was, she didn't want to blend into the backgroundā€”not really. Not if it meant letting Brian win.
"Alright," she said finally, forcing a small smirk as she reached for the outfit.
You grinned, clearly thrilled, and the sight sent her heart fluttering all over again.
As she stood up to take the clothes in you, the weight of the night ahead settled on her shoulders again. She knew this wasn't about the clothes or the party. It was about youā€”about keeping you close, about holding onto the part of you that still felt like hers, even if it wasn't.
And as much as she hated to admit it, she was willing to do whatever it took to keep it that way.
Tara pulled the clothes from your hands, her fingers brushing yours for just a second longer than necessary before she turned away.
She hesitated only briefly, her eyes darting to the bathroom door, but then she decided against it. It wasn't like this was anything new. You'd seen her change plenty of times before.
Slipping off her hoodie, she pulled the top over her head, the soft lace brushing against her skin in a way that felt oddly delicate, almost foreign.
The skirt followed, the fabric snug around her waist and flaring slightly at her hips. When she finally turned back toward you, she caught sight of herself in the mirror.
It was strange. She didn't recognize the girl staring back at her right awayā€”not entirely. The clothes fit her so well, so effortlessly, that she felt a flicker of something unexpected: pride.
She looked... pretty. Not in the same way you did, with your radiant energy that drew everyone in, but still. Pretty enough.
Her heart jumped a little at the thought of you seeing her like this, of you noticing her in the way she always noticed you. She didn't know why she wanted that so badly, but the hope curled tightly in her chest, warm and persistent.
You looked up from where you'd been smoothing out your own dress, and your reaction was immediate. Your eyes widened slightly, and then your face lit up in that effortless way that always made her stomach flutter.
"Tara, oh my god, you look so good," you said, your voice soft but genuine, carrying none of the over-the-top excitement you sometimes used when joking around. This was real.
Tara felt her cheeks warm under your gaze, her fingers automatically reaching to adjust the hem of the skirt, as if she could somehow shield herself from the weight of your words. She tried to play it off, shrugging casually. "It's just a skirt," she mumbled, but her voice lacked its usual bite.
"It's not just a skirt," you countered, stepping closer. "You look amazing. Seriously, this is perfect for you."
Your words were kind, almost too kind, and Tara wasn't sure how to process them. There was no teasing, no playful edge, just an earnestness that made her chest feel tight and achy.
She glanced away, pretending to focus on her reflection again, but the warmth of your approval lingered, sinking into her skin like the lace of the top.
She wanted to feel good about it, to let herself bask in the way you saw her, but the nagging thought that this wasn't for herā€”that it was all part of your excitement for Brianā€”kept her grounded.
Still, the way you smiled at her, so unreserved and so entirely you, made her feel something she hadn't in a long time: seen. She wished, just for a second, that you were saying all of this for the same reason she wished you would.
You spun on your heel, nearly tripping over the pile of discarded clothes strewn across the floor in your excitement. Tara's breath caught for a second, her hand twitching instinctively like she was about to reach for you, but you caught yourself, laughing it off as if nothing had happened.
"You need to clean your room before someone gets hurt," Tara muttered, though her tone held more amusement than annoyance.
You ignored her, too caught up in the moment as you reached your makeup table, rifling through your collection with a kind of chaotic precision.
Pulling out a palette, you held it up, the colors catching the light as you grinned at her. "What do you think? Want me to do your makeup?"
Your voice was so full of unfiltered excitement, your smile so wide it made her stomach flip. Tara hesitated, her fingers brushing the hem of her skirt as she glanced at the palette in your hands. She wasn't really the makeup typeā€”not like you wereā€”but the way you looked at her, like you were just waiting to make her feel special, made it impossible to say no.
"You don't have to," Tara said finally, though her voice lacked conviction.
"I want to!" you insisted, stepping closer, the palette still in hand. "Please, Tara? I promise I'll keep it simple. Just a little something to go with the outfit."
She sighed, feigning reluctance as she sat back down on the edge of the bed. "Fine."
You grabbed a chair and pulled it in front of her, gesturing for her to sit. "Alright, let's make you even more stunning."
Tara rolled her eyes, though the faintest smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she leaned forward.
___
The buzz of the party hit you as soon as you stepped through the door.
Music pulsed through the house, the bass vibrating in your chest as voices overlapped in a cacophony of laughter and shouted greetings.
People crowded the spaceā€”groups gathered near the kitchen, couples pressed close against walls, and a few brave souls danced in the living room, already letting loose despite how early it was in the night.
You glanced over at Tara, catching the way her shoulders stiffened slightly as the noise and energy enveloped her. She'd been quiet on the drive over, her fingers drumming against her thigh in a way that let you know her nerves were kicking in. But she'd never admit that, not to you.
"See?" you said brightly, bumping her shoulder with yours as you stepped further into the house. "I told you this would be fun."
Tara gave you a look, one that was half-skepticism and half-amusement, as she tugged at the hem of her skirt. "Yeah, we'll see about that."
Your laugh was warm and easy, a sound that somehow made the chaos of the party seem less overwhelming. You reached back to grab her hand, pulling her through the crowd as you made your way toward the kitchen. The feel of your fingers around hers made something in Tara's chest twist uncomfortably, though she forced herself to ignore it.
The kitchen was just as packed as the rest of the house, but you managed to snag two drinks from the counter, handing one to her with a grin. "Alright, party rule number one: stay hydrated."
Tara raised an eyebrow, glancing at the cup in her hand. "This is definitely not water."
"Details." You waved her off, your playful smirk making her stomach flutter in that maddeningly familiar way.
Before she could respond, a voice called out from across the room. "Y/N! There you are!"
Tara's grip on her cup tightened as she followed your gaze, her stomach sinking when she saw himā€”Brianā€”making his way toward you. His smile was wide and easy, the kind of grin that would make anyone else swoon.
But Tara wasn't anyone else.
"Brian!" you said, your face lighting up in a way that made Tara's chest ache. She stepped back slightly, letting go of your hand as he drew closer, though her eyes never left you.
He didn't deserve that smile.
Brian's gaze flickered to her briefly, his smile faltering just a bit. "Tara, right?"
She nodded, her expression neutral as she took a sip of her drink. "That's me."
If he noticed the edge in her tone, he didn't comment on it, turning his attention back to you instead. "You look amazing," he said, his eyes raking over your dress in a way that made Tara's jaw tighten.
You beamed at him, clearly pleased by the compliment, and Tara had to look away, her hand gripping her cup so tightly she was surprised it didn't crack.
This was going to be a long night.
And it most definitely was.
As the night went on, the party only grew louder and more chaotic. People drifted in and out of the circle you, Tara, and Brian had settled into, friends of his joining the conversation with easy smiles and casual jokes.
You made a genuine effort to include Tara, always pulling her back in when she started to fade into the background, but it was clear who held your focus.
Brian.
He stood close to you, his arm brushing yours as he leaned in to talk over the music.
You didn't seem to noticeā€”or maybe you did, and you didn't mind. Either way, the proximity between you two only seemed to grow as the minutes ticked by, and Tara couldn't stop watching.
Every time you laughed at something he said, her chest tightened just a little more.
You weren't doing it on purpose. Tara knew that. She knew you didn't notice the way her jaw clenched or how her fingers drummed against her cup.
You were just being youā€”kind, bubbly, and effortlessly charming. But watching you with Brian, seeing how much of your attention he was soaking up, felt like a slow, relentless sting.
She hadn't expected it to bother her this much.
At first, Tara tried to play along, chiming in when she could and taking small sips of her drink to distract herself.
But then Brian's friends started joining the conversation, their loud energy making it harder for her to keep up. You were still trying to include her, turning to her every so often to ask her opinion or flash her one of your brilliant smiles, but it wasn't enough.
Not when you lit up like a damn firework every time Brian said something that made you laugh.
Tara tipped back her cup, finishing it quicker than she probably should have. She wasn't much of a drinker to begin withā€”she never really liked how it made her feelā€”but tonight was different. Tonight, she needed the edge taken off.
"Want another?" you asked, noticing her empty cup.
She hesitated, but before she could respond, Brian offered. "I'll grab her one. Be right back."
She opened her mouth to say she didn't need another, but he was already walking away.
You smiled after him before turning back to Tara, your expression so full of effortless warmth it made her stomach churn. "You having fun?"
She forced a small nod, her grip tightening on the plastic cup. "Yeah. It's... fine."
You didn't notice the strain in her voice, too caught up in the energy of the party to catch on.
By the time Brian returned with her drink, she'd already decided she wasn't going to overthink it. She took it with a quiet "thanks" and drank just enough to feel the buzz set in. It wasn't muchā€”maybe two drinks totalā€”but Tara was short, and she always felt the effects quicker than most.
The alcohol didn't drown out her frustration, though.
Every laugh you gave Brian, every time you leaned in to whisper something to him, only seemed to magnify it.
And you? You were oblivious. Still trying to keep her in the conversation, pulling her in with the same ease you always had. But she could feel the gap widening.
Tara's foot tapped against the floor as she shifted her weight, her eyes flickering between you and Brian. She should've left, should've wandered off to another part of the house to escape this torturous little triangle, but she stayed.
Because if she left, she'd have to admit to herself why she couldn't handle this.
So instead, she took another sip of her drink and plastered on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"You okay?" you asked, your voice cutting through her thoughts.
"Yeah," she said quickly, her words sharper than she intended. "I'm fine."
But she wasn't. And as the night wore on, that became harder and harder to hide.
And after an hour, or maybe even more.
The alcohol was definitely working its way through Tara's veins. She could feel it, the familiar warmth spreading through her chest, making her limbs feel looser but her thoughts louder.
The edges of the room blurred ever so slightly, but her focus on you was sharp as ever, almost painfully so.
You were giggling at something Brian said again, your hand brushing his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Tara had been watching you both like a hawk all night, trying to play it cool, but the subtle touches, the shared smiles, the way your eyes sparkled when you looked at himā€”it was getting under her skin.
She clenched her jaw, tipping back the rest of her drink as if it might drown out the frustration bubbling inside her. But it didn't.
It wasn't just the alcohol making her feel reckless, though it didn't help. Tara was desperate.
Desperate to do somethingā€”anythingā€”that might shift the balance back in her favor. But how? She wasn't like Brian. She didn't have easy jokes or effortless charm. And she wasn't like you, all soft laughter and open smiles.
So she sat there, stewing in her own silence, searching for an opening she couldn't find.
Then she turned her head for just a moment.
A distractionā€”a loud burst of laughter from somewhere across the room. She glanced over, barely processing the source, and when she looked back...
Her heart stopped.
You and Brian were kissing.
It wasn't shy or hesitant. It was full and unguarded, like something out of the movies. His hands rested lightly on your waist, your fingers clutching the front of his shirt as though you were afraid to let go.
Tara's first thought wasn't sadness. It wasn't heartbreak or even surprise.
It was rage.
Her body went rigid, the plastic cup in her hand creaking under the force of her grip.
Because of course this wasn't a problem.
Why would it be?
You weren't hers. You'd never been hers. You were allowed to kiss boys, especially the boy you'd been crushing on for as long as she could remember. It wasn't like you were breaking some unspoken rule. She had no claim to you, no right to feel betrayed or blindsided.
But God, it felt like a betrayal.
Her rational mind tried to reason with her, repeating the same useless mantra: This isn't a problem. This isn't a problem. This isn't a problem.
But the other side of her mindā€”the side that had been clawing its way to the surface all nightā€”was screaming the opposite.
It was a problem. A huge one.
The anger burned through her like a wildfire, consuming every rational thought as it spread. It started in her chest, hot and heavy, before curling into her throat and setting her teeth on edge. Her nails dug into the soft plastic of her cup until it crumpled under her grip, a sharp crack breaking through the buzz of the party.
And still, she couldn't look away.
She hated it. Hated the way his hands touched you so easily, like he'd earned that right. Hated the way you kissed him back like you'd been waiting for this your whole life. Hated how he got to have what she wanted so desperately without even knowing how much it mattered.
Her breaths came quicker, each one catching in her chest as if she couldn't quite fill her lungs. The alcohol amplified everything, stripping her bare of the filters she usually relied on. Every raw, unspoken feeling she'd buried for years was rising to the surface now, and there was no stopping it.
She wanted to scream.
To grab you and pull you away, to tell Brian to get his hands off you, to do something.
But she didn't.
Because no matter how angry she was, no matter how much she hated what she was seeing, there was a part of herā€”a small, quiet, agonizing partā€”that whispered:
You're not supposed to feel like this.
So instead, Tara sat there, her body tense and trembling, her nails biting into the palms of her hands. She didn't even realize she'd crumpled her cup until the sticky remnants of her drink dripped onto her lap.
And still, she couldn't look away.
Eventually you pulled back from Brian, cheeks flushed and eyes slightly glassy from the alcohol coursing through your system.
A small, almost dazed laugh escaped your lips as you glanced at him, then turned to find Tara in the crowd. She hadn't moved from where she'd been watching, her posture stiff and her eyes fixed on some indistinct point on the wallā€”anywhere but you.
When your gaze landed on her, your smile widened, bright and unrestrained, like you hadn't just set her entire world on fire.
Tara's chest tightened, the molten frustration inside her bubbling hotter with every passing second. She couldn't stop her thoughts, couldn't silence the storm brewing in her mind.
You stumbled a little as you reached her, still grinning like a fool, your energy infectious to everyone but Tara. You leaned close, tipping forward on your toes, your voice loud but slurred enough to betray your tipsy state.
"I think he kissed me," you said, as if it hadn't been entirely mutual.
Tara felt something snap.
Her fingers curled into fists at her sides, her nails digging into her palms so hard she half-expected to draw blood.
She couldn't speak, couldn't trust herself to even try. If she opened her mouth, she was sure she'd yell or say something she couldn't take back. Worse, she might cryā€”and that wasn't an option.
Her silence stretched on, but you didn't seem to notice. You were too lost in your own world, your thoughts spinning with the buzz of the alcohol and the remnants of Brian's touch. Tara's silence didn't matter, because you filled the space with another easy laugh, leaning closer so she could hear you over the pounding music.
"I need to use the bathroom," you said, your lips brushing near her ear. The warmth of your breath made her stomach twist. "Wanna come?"
Tara's mind scrambled for an excuse, her mouth dry as she fought the urge to say something reckless.
"No," she said finally, forcing her voice to sound casual, detached. "I think I'm good down here."
It wasn't true. She wasn't good down here, or anywhere else in the universe at that moment.
You gave her a light shrug, your expression still full of that easy joy that made her want to scream. "Okay! Be right back!"
You disappeared into the crowd, weaving your way toward the bathroom, leaving Tara standing there alone.
The second you were out of sight, she exhaled sharply, her hands shaking as she reached for another drink she didn't need.
She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, the anger, or the ache of jealousy threatening to overwhelm her. Maybe it was all three, swirling into something she couldn't control.
But one thing was clearā€”she couldn't keep this up. Not tonight. Not with you and Brian. Not with her chest full of feelings she couldn't name and didn't want to face.
Tara's eyes burned as they landed on Brian, standing not far from where you'd left him. His posture was easy, relaxedā€”too relaxed.
He stood there like nothing had happened, chatting casually with a couple of his friends, his hand lifting a red cup to his lips like this was just another night. Like he hadn't just kissed you.
The most beautiful girl on the planet.
Tara felt her stomach twist painfully, her grip tightening around the drink in her hand. How could he be so unbothered? So unaffected? He wasn't grinning ear to ear, wasn't puffing out his chest or gushing about how lucky he was.
He wasn't laughing with joy or smirking proudly like any sane person would if they'd just kissed you.
How was he not telling everyone in earshot about what had happened? How was he not reeling from the fact that youā€”you, with your blinding smile and endless energyā€”had given him even a second of your time, let alone your lips?
Her jaw clenched, teeth grinding together as she stared at him, her anger bubbling hotter with every second he stayed calm. Her hands itched to grab him by the collar, to shake him and demand he act like he understood the weight of what had just happened.
Did he even realize how lucky he was?
Did he know how many people in that roomā€”how many people in generalā€”would kill to be in his place? To have even the tiniest fraction of your attention, let alone that?
Her vision blurred, and it wasn't from the alcohol. Her chest felt like it was about to implode, like something inside her was trying desperately to escape, and she didn't know how much longer she could keep it together.
Brian's laughter snapped her out of her spiraling thoughts. He was laughing at something one of his friends said, his expression light, carefreeā€”unbothered.
Tara nearly saw red.
She downed the rest of her drink in one go, the sharp burn doing nothing to dull the fury roaring in her chest. How could he be like this? How could he act so normal, so indifferent, after kissing you?
How could he not be overwhelmed by the fact that you'd chosen him, even for a fleeting moment?
It was insulting. Infuriating.
She wanted to march over there, to grab him and make him feel the way she was feeling. She wanted him to hurt, to ache, to boil with jealousy the way she was.
But she couldn't.
Because none of this was his fault.
The real issueā€”the one she didn't want to admitā€”wasn't Brian. It was the simple, heartbreaking truth that he could kiss you without consequence.
He could have you.
Tara wasn't sure what happened next.
What she was thinking when it happened, or if she was even thinking at all. Maybe it was the angerā€”burning hot and uncontrollableā€”making her body move before her brain could catch up. Or maybe it was the alcohol, buzzing in her veins and drowning out every voice in her head that might've told her to stop.
All she knew was that one second she was standing there, glaring at Brian like he'd committed some unforgivable sin, and the next, she was storming toward him.
His friends noticed her first, their chatter faltering as they shifted awkwardly under her sharp glare. But Brian, oblivious as ever, didn't see her coming. He was mid-sentence, that stupidly calm look still plastered on his face, when Tara grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him down to her level.
The movement was forceful enough to knock the air out of both of them, and before he could even process what was happeningā€”before she could process what was happeningā€”she pressed her lips against his.
It wasn't soft.
It wasn't sweet.
It was messy, rough, and fueled by a cocktail of rage and desperation. Her hands fisted his shirt tightly, holding him in place, her nails biting into the fabric. Brian stiffened for a second, shocked, but then his hands hovered awkwardly near her waist, unsure of what to do.
Tara didn't care. She didn't care about his reaction, about his hesitation.
Because this wasn't about him.
It wasn't about his stupid, clueless face or the fact that he'd kissed you without giving it a second thought. It wasn't about him being unbothered or unaffected.
This was about her.
Her anger, her frustration, her absolute inability to sit there for another second and watch him act like kissing you was nothing.
The kiss deepened as her grip on his shirt tightened, pulling him even closer. She wanted to erase the memory of you from his lips, to replace it with her own. To make him feel something, anything, the way she was feeling.
But it wasn't working.
If anything, the kiss only made it worse.
Because no matter how hard she pressed, no matter how desperate her movements were, it didn't feel right.
It didn't feel like you.
And that thought was like a punch to the gut.
Brian made a soft, surprised noise against her lips, his hands finally settling on her hips, but it only made her angrier. How dare he hesitate now? How dare he act so unsure, like he didn't know exactly what he wanted when he'd so easily taken you from her just minutes ago?
Her chest heaved as she pulled back slightly, her lips still brushing against his, her heart pounding in her ears.
His wide eyes stared at her, confused and more than a little alarmed. "Taraā€”" his voice laced with bewilderment, but she silenced him with another kiss, pressing harder, needing to cut him off.
She didn't want to hear his voice. She didn't want to hear him try to make sense of this, because she didn't have an explanation. This wasn't about him.
It wasn't about you eitherā€”not entirely, at least.
It was about her. About the way she felt like she was unraveling, about how every smile you gave Brian felt like another thread being yanked loose, every laugh you shared with him felt like a blow to the chest.
She didn't know how to make it stop, and the only thing her mind could come up with was this. She didn't have to think when she was kissing Brian. Didn't have to feel the jagged ache of watching you be so happy with someone else.
This wasn't about him.
But it was all she could do to stop herself from falling apart completely.
And Tara wasn't sure what was happening anymore.
Brian hadn't pushed her away. He hadn't stopped her, hadn't hesitated for even a moment after that first surprised noise.
No, he'd leaned into it. He'd kissed her back with the kind of intent that only made her angrier, made the fire in her chest blaze so hot she thought she might combust right there.
Because it wasn't supposed to go like this.
His hands slid from her hips, pulling her closer, pressing her tighter against him, and she hated it. Hated the way he responded like this was exactly what he wanted, hated the way he kissed her back like she wasn't just a replacement for you.
And worse than anything, she hated herself for not stopping it.
His hands moved lower, gripping her ass, pulling her even closer, and she felt herself clench her fists tighter into the fabric of his shirt.
She didn't know if it was the alcohol buzzing in her veins, numbing her better judgment, or if it was the anger still consuming her every thought, but she didn't do anything to stop him.
She should've.
But she didn't.
Because in this moment, it wasn't about him. It wasn't even about you. It was about the chaos she felt boiling in her chest, about the way she felt like she was spiraling further and further out of control.
Brian murmured something against her lipsā€”she didn't catch it, didn't even try toā€”but his hands stayed firm on her, guiding her, pulling her toward the stairs.
And she let him.
Every step felt like she was wading through quicksand, her mind shouting at her to stop, to push him away, to pull herself together. But her body wasn't listening. She didn't know if it was the heat of his hands on her or the fog of alcohol clouding her better judgment, but she let him lead her.
Because stopping meant facing the truth. And Tara wasn't ready to do that.
Not yet.
She'd barely registered how they ended up in the room. One second, she was being pulled up the stairs, Brian's hand gripping hers tightly, and the next, they were in a dimly lit bedroom, the door clicking shut behind them.
Her heart was racing, but not from excitement. There was no thrill, no anticipation, just a gnawing sense of wrongness she couldn't shake. Yet she didn't stop it. She didn't stop him as his hands found her waist, as his lips trailed down her neck. She didn't stop herself from responding, from letting this spiral further than it ever should have.
It was mechanical, empty, and every moment felt like it was happening to someone else. Brian's touch wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't what she wanted. His lips weren't the ones she craved, his hands didn't spark anything but an aching hollowness inside her.
And yet, she let it happen.
Because, for a fleeting second, it felt like power. Like control. Like maybe, just maybe, if she could take this from himā€”take you from him in some twisted, nonsensical wayā€”it would hurt less.
But it didn't.
Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word she barely heard, only drove the knife deeper into her chest.
When it was over, the silence was deafening. Tara lay there, staring at the ceiling, her body still and her mind racing. Brian shifted beside her, saying something she didn't hear, and the sound of his voice made her stomach twist. She felt nauseous, disgustedā€”not with him, but with herself.
What had she done?
Her chest tightened as she fought to keep her breathing steady, refusing to let him see the tears threatening to spill over. It hadn't helped. It hadn't made anything better. If anything, it had only made everything worse.
Because no matter what she did, no matter how far she went, it would never be enough to make her stop wanting you.
Afterwards Tara laid still, the dim light of the room casting shadows that felt too heavy, too oppressive.
Brian was beside her, breathing evening out as if nothing monumental had just happened. As if this was just another casual moment in his life.
Her mind, however, wouldn't stop.
It wasn't Brian she was thinking aboutā€”not the way he'd touched her, not the way he'd looked at her. No, every thought clawed its way back to you.
She pictured you in the bathroom, probably still staring at yourself in the mirror, giddy and flushed. She could almost see your smile, so wide it was infectious, and the way you'd probably tilt your head, trying to relive every second of that kiss.
You'd been dreaming of that moment since second grade, scribbling his name in the margins of your notebooks and lighting up every time he was near. Tara could already imagine how you'd be practically glowing, heart racing with excitement as you ran your fingers over your lips, trying to make the feeling last.
She wanted to hate you for it. But she couldn't. She never could.
You'd come out of that bathroom with a smile so bright it could light up the whole house, your hopeful eyes scanning the crowd as you made your way back to the spot you'd all been standing. And what would you find?
Nothing.
Tara wasn't there. Brian wasn't there.
She could imagine how your smile would falter, confusion settling in as you looked around, searching for the two people who were supposed to be waiting for you. How long would it take for the excitement to drain from your face? How quickly would hope turn to disappointment?
The thought was like a knife twisting in her gut.
And yet, she still couldn't make sense of why she'd done this. Why she'd let it happen. Because it didn't feel like she'd won anything. She hadn't taken Brian away from you. If anything, she'd stolen something from herselfā€”something she could never get back.
Her chest tightened as the realization hit her like a freight train. She hadn't wanted him. She hadn't wanted this.
She'd wanted you.
And now she'd ruined everything.
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marcyvamp1re-blog Ā· 24 days ago
Text
pt.4 SILLY LITTLE BAT
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pairings āøŗ Yandere! Platonic! Batfamily x Anti-hero! Fem!reader.
sinopsis āøŗ In a Gotham steeped in darkness, Bruce Wayne confronts a past resonating with secrets. As he uncovers the identity of an enigmatic antiheroine, he will discover hidden truths that will stain his legacy. Blood, a symbol of betrayals, intertwines with his fate, revealing that darkness dwells within him as well.
warnings āøŗ Dark Themes, Dead, Religion, murdering,Disturbing Content, Unhealthy Obsession, tw.noncon, Discrimination, Street Fights, Gaslight, Violence, Blood, LGBT Content, Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Implicit Sexual Content, Mental Illness, Addiction, Torture, Corruption, Isolation, Trauma, Phobias, Paranoia
Chapter guide! Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3
A/N ā€” English is not my first languageā€”Spanish isā€” I took a long time because I went on vacation, I wasnā€™t inspired, I had a lot of things to catch up on, and blah blah blah. The good thing is that I brought part 4, and just so you know, there are about four or five more parts of the story, maybe more.
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I'm dirty, infinitely dirty,
this is why I scream so much
about purity.
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Bruce sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the weight of the memories and the silence that now inhabited that room. Every corner of that space reminded him of his daughter's presence, a presence that had been fragile and ephemeral, like smoke disappearing between fingers. He looked at the diplomas and trophies on the shelves, those small proofs of her effort and dedication. He caressed them with the same reverence he used when going through old photographs, searching for something, anything, that would tell him he had done enough, that he had been a good father.
But he only saw the same emptiness in her eyes that he had known since childhood. She resembled him more than he would have imagined. In her dull gaze, in her absent smile, he recognized the same pain that had accompanied him after his parents' death. He realized, almost bitterly, that this darkness was an inheritance, a shadow he had left in her without realizing it.
Bruce ran his fingers over an old photo from her first birthday after losing his mother. That day, Alfred had secretly taken her to Metropolis in a desperate attempt to give her some happiness. But even at the amusement park, where laughter and noise were contagious, her face remained a vacant mask. She wasnā€™t really smiling, as if something inside her knew she would never have the normalcy that other children enjoyed.
With a heavy sigh, Bruce rested his head on the pillow that had been hers, wanting to cling to the scent of his daughter. But there was no trace of her aroma left. Alfred, in an act of rigor that Bruce couldnā€™t understand, had eliminated any trace of her, perhaps trying to close a wound that Bruce was unwilling to let heal. He had reproached Alfred for hours and hours for erasing that last vestige of his daughter. But Alfredā€™s look, serious and filled with silence, told him what he already knew: maybe he didnā€™t deserve to keep those memories because he had failed to protect the person he loved most.
He closed his eyes, sinking into the pain of each thought that emerged from that dark room. Everything reminded him that, somehow, he was responsible for his daughter's disappearance, as if his own shadows had consumed her. In his mind, images of what he could have done differently began to surface, a parade of possibilities where he was a better father, more attentive and less blind to her suffering.
Suddenly, Titus and Alfred the Cat entered together through the door, coming in silently, as if they understood the weight of that moment. Titus approached Bruce, resting his massive head on his knee, while Alfred the Cat jumped onto Bruce's lap, purring softly. Bruce petted the dog and the cat, finding in them the only comfort that seemed left to him. His voice trembled when, in an almost delirious tone, he confessed to them:
"Maybe Iā€™m the real killer here. What kind of father lets his daughter get lost in the dark? What kind of monster was I that I never saw her pain? If sheā€™s deadā€¦ if my little girl has left this worldā€¦ then I am the only one responsible."
He paused, breathing heavily, as the words he wanted to suppress escaped his lips in a bitter and disturbing whisper. "Sometimes I wish I hadā€¦ had stopped her mother. If she hadnā€™t beenā€¦ if I had raised her from the beginningā€¦ I could have saved her from so much pain."
The words, though spoken in a barely audible murmur, weighed heavily in the room. He caressed the pillow, almost pleading for the past to change, for every mistake to be undone. The cat purred softly, as if understanding the pain Bruce was trying to stifle deep in his chest. Titus looked at him with eyes full of loyalty, without judging him, but not offering the redemption he desperately sought.
"I would give anything for a second chance," he whispered, his voice broken. "I would give my life to undo every moment that made her drift away. I would give anything to see her smile again, even if it were just onceā€¦ even if it were just to tell her how sorry I am."
The house was silent, and in that instant, Bruce understood that there were no words, no time, no strength that could change the past. He was trapped in an abyss of guilt, with only shadows and memories now haunting him, reflecting his own empty and broken face.
Finally, he could no longer contain himself. Feeling the emptiness in his chest, tears began to fall onto the pillow, soaking it with his pain, as if the weight of his own guilt slid out in every sob he tried to stifle. His face was buried in the memory of his daughter, lost in the pain that tormented him with an intensity he could no longer bear.
It was then that Damian entered, dressed as Robin, with his katana stained with a dark red liquid that could be nothing other than blood, with a sharp and direct arrogance, breaking the silent mourning of Bruce. Coldly, he looked at his father and pronounced, almost with disdain, "No matter how much you cry like a whore, Y/N wonā€™t come back."
Bruce looked up, surprised and hurt, but before he could respond, Damian continued with the same hardness. "While everyone was out in a gang like a bunch of lowlifes and came back empty-handed, I found something you didnā€™t even bother to look for while lying here like a cheap whore." Damian looked at him with a mix of disappointment and reproach, as if he couldnā€™t understand how his father had let so many signs slip by.
"Did you know? I had a relationship with Ivy, that old woman who had the indecency to date my little sister while being an old hag. Plus, she worked as a waitress in some bar wearing little clothes to survive. Like some common bitch. And the last time, she was seen in the subway, with a strange man with psychiatric crazy vibes... surely another one that slipped away while you were lying here." Damianā€™s words were blows to Bruce, each revelation a testament to how much he had let slip away.
Damian continued, each phrase laden with resentment and questions. "Why did she have to work? Why did she, the daughter of the renowned multimillionaire Bruce Wayne, the masked hero of Gotham, have to depend on a miserable paycheck that didnā€™t even cover the end of the month? And the subway, father, did she really have to take the subway like any unknown person in this city?"
Bruce looked down, unable to respond. Each of those questions was a dagger reminding him how far he had been from understanding his own daughter. He had ignored, or perhaps never wanted to see, the sacrifices she made to survive, the paths she took in search of something he had never given her. Now, with Damian's words filling the silence, Bruce realized he had condemned his daughter to the same fate he was trying to combat on the streets.
Damian watched him, his gaze cold and critical, as the room filled with a tense silence. For the first time, Bruce understood that perhaps he was never the hero he thought he was, and that in his attempt to protect everyone, he had failed to protect the one who needed him the most.
Bruce felt anger bubbling inside him, intensifying with each word that left Damian's lips. "How dare you come in here and say that? You werenā€™t a brother to her, you werenā€™t there when she needed you the most," he shot back, his voice echoing in the room like dark thunder. The image of his daughter intertwined with his rage, each contained tear now fueling his fury.
Damian frowned, unrestrained. "That's how I show my affection; you should be used to it," he retorted disdainfully, recalling that moment when he arrived at the mansion, he had stabbed Y/N with his katana. "I did what I had to do, and I donā€™t have to accept your reproaches. Everyone failed Y/N, even you."
"Donā€™t try to blame others for your own failures!" Bruce shouted, frustration filling every corner of his being. "You werenā€™t there, Damian. You canā€™t always hide behind your arrogance."
Damian crossed his arms, his defiant attitude unbreakable. "And what if I wasn't? At least I didnā€™t hide behind a mask of sadness. Better stop reproaching me and listen to what I have for you." He stepped closer, pulling out a half-open old cardboard box. "I brought you a gift."
Bruce looked at him suspiciously. "What is it now?"
"I went looking for Selina, but she slipped away like a scared kitten," Damian said, mocking the situation. "A waste of time, but I found Ivy in Arkham. She said little about Y/N, which annoyed me, soā€¦ well, here you go." He opened the box slowly, revealing Poison Ivy's head, the fresh blood still dripping from the edges.
Her face, once beautiful, was now serene, with pale skin and a touch of green that evoked her connection to nature. Her normally vibrant red hair now fell messily around her face, while her eyes, closed forever, seemed almost at peace, as if she had found a breath in the chaos she once inhabited.
Bruce felt as if the world had stopped. There was no horror in his gaze, only an emptiness where anger and sadness collided. "What have you done?" he murmured, his voice barely a whisper, but resignation permeated every word. The life of his daughter, the decisions he had made and what that meant now overwhelmed him.
Damian shrugged. "She was a monster, just like all of us. What matters is that now you have something tangible, something you can show."
"What kind of family are we?" Bruce let slip, feeling defeated. "This family is a failure."
"Oh, so it turns out weā€™ve been a family all this time?" Damian replied, scornful, but his tone was less certain.
Bruce closed his eyes, feeling the discomfort of the situation. "Take me to the apartment where she lived," he said, his voice enigmatic and cold. It was a request that resonated with the gravity of what he had lost, an echo of what he had failed to protect. As Damian looked at him with surprise and a hint of concern, Bruce knew that the truth he would face in that place was beyond any form of redemption. The darkness that had invaded his life was about to be confronted, and he wasnā€™t sure if he was ready for what he would find.
As Bruce and Damian prepared to leave, Titus and Alfred the Cat watched them from a distance. The dog remained alert, his ears perked, as if he could sense the tension looming in the air. His instinct told him that something grave was about to happen. Alfred, with his wise and sharp gaze, seemed to share the same unease, his eyes fixed on the men who were heading toward the dark fate they had chosen.
As Bruce and Damian headed for the door, Titus stepped forward, his expression a mix of concern and determination. It was as if he were trying to convey a silent message, a call to reason that his owners could not hear amid their emotional turmoil. Alfred the Cat, with his elegant stride, approached Bruce and rubbed his head against his leg, seeking comfort for the hero who seemed on the brink of losing himself even further in the darkness.
Turning around, Bruce felt a pang in his heart. He looked at his animals, those innocent beings who had always been there to offer him companionship, and realized that they were aware of what was about to come. In a world where violence and betrayal lurked around every corner, their departure was the beginning of something much darker.
With one last look, Bruce found himself in Titus's eyes, reflecting a mix of loyalty and worry. It was as if the dog knew that the decision they were making would not only affect them but would also drag others into a chaos from which they could not escape.
Damian, impatient, had already crossed the threshold, but Bruce paused for one more moment. "Iā€™m sorry," he murmured, although he was not sure to whom he was really addressing: whether to the animals who looked at him with eyes full of wisdom or to himself for the path he had chosen.
However, it was already too late to turn back. With one last glance at the room where it all began, and at the animals who looked at him with concern, Bruce stepped into the dark world that awaited them, unaware that soon, everything would get worse. The air was charged with ominous anticipation, and the feeling that tragedy loomed over them like a shadow, deep and inevitable.
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You lay on the bed, your body still heavy from the forced encounter, thoughts fluttering in your mind like butterflies trapped in a net. The room was enveloped in an unsettling gloom, the air thick with a tension that could not be ignored. Beside you, he breathed with a calm that contrasted with the whirlwind inside you. There was no name, no face to remember; it was just him, the one who had kidnapped you and made you his own, a figure who had taken your life and distorted it at will.
As you stared at the ceiling, the silence became a mirror of your thoughts. Rage and hatred toward your family surged within you, feelings that had once seemed so distant. They didnā€™t understand you, they hadnā€™t been there to protect you, and now, in this strange intimacy, you found yourself wishing to be with him more than with them. Confusion engulfed you; on one hand, there was a part of you longing for affection and acceptance, while on the other, there was a strange pleasure in the situation, a desire to escape the life that had caused you so much suffering.
Despite everything, you missed your mother. Her laughter, her hugs, the way she always knew how to calm your fears. But that maternal figure was slowly fading from your memory, drowned by the anguish of betrayal and loneliness. You found yourself trapped between the desire to remember the good and the hatred toward the past that had brought you here.
As the room remained silent, a dark and almost self-destructive impulse took hold of you. With trembling movements, you picked up a sharp object and pressed it against your skin, feeling a sting that was both physical and emotional. In that moment, you thought about the irony of your situation: you had lost control of your life, and in seeking an escape, you chose to hurt yourself.
The duality of your feelings was heartbreaking. On one hand, you yearned for freedom, to reclaim your identity and the love that had been taken from you. On the other, there was a part of you that felt alive in this new relationship, a twisted connection that kept you captive. The internal struggle manifested in every thought and every action, revealing the complexity of your situation.
You remembered moments from his life, the wounds he carried, and the pain he had faced. Had Bruce ever been so lost, so filled with sadness that he had to do the unthinkable to feel something? The idea that the man you admired could also have been vulnerable struck you like a revelation. You wondered if he had ever cried in solitude, questioning his place in the world, if he had ever felt so trapped in his own life.
As you touched your stomach, an old pain resurfaced. There, beneath the skin, was a scar, a reminder of the time Damian had hurt you with his katana, an act that had been both an attack and a cry of desperation. The brush of your fingers over the wound, although healed, still brought memories of suffering and betrayal, a deep connection intertwined with the pain you felt now. The scar was a metaphor for your life: a wound that would never fully heal, a reminder that pain is part of your existence.
Tears fell more forcefully as you thought about how your familyā€™s decisions, rivalries, and chaos had influenced your life. Bruce, with his constant struggle against the shadows of his past, was a reflection of what you could have been: strong, determined, but also broken and lost. In that moment, you felt just like him, entangled in a cycle of suffering and confusion.
You allowed yourself to cry, feeling that perhaps in that vulnerability there was some freedom. It was a relief, an act of resistance in the midst of the oppression that surrounded you. As the outside world faded away, the pain of the scar became a reminder that, despite everything, there was still a part of you yearning to break free, wanting to escape this darkness. And amid that sadness, one thought grew stronger: perhaps, just perhaps, there was a way to find your path again.
The man let go of your cheek and, with a casual gesture, lit a cigarette, the smoke dancing in the air like shadows in the dim light of the room. His eyes, fixed on you, had a dangerous intensity. "Do you see this?" he said, exhaling the smoke slowly. "Now you are stained, like Gotham. Youā€™ve been in the mud, and itā€™s your duty to clean yourself up. This is just the beginning."
He looked at you with a twisted smile, an expression that mixed amusement and dominance. "You have to understand that you canā€™t escape from what you are. The city is a reflection of yourself. And like Gotham, you too need to be purified." With a sudden movement, he offered you the cigarette. "Smoke. It will help you forget the tears."
You hesitated, but his eyes challenged you, a clear message that there was no room for denial. With a mix of fear and despair, you brought the cigarette to your lips, feeling its bitterness touch your tongue. "Donā€™t make me repeat myself," he said, his voice a cold whisper. "I want you to feel the poison, just like the city does. You are part of it now, and you must accept your role."
The pressure of his words overwhelmed you, each syllable a reminder of your distorted reality. "But why me?" you stammered, feeling desperation twisting inside you. "Why do I have to be part of this?"
"Because there is no choice," he replied with disdain. "There never was. Every day, every decision you made has led you here. Weakness is not an option. Look around you; Gotham has no place for the weak. If you want to survive, you need to get your hands dirty. And believe me, there is a lot of blood to clean up."
Your heart raced as you inhaled the smoke, the burning filling your lungs and leaving a feeling of emptiness. "What do you want from me?" you asked, feeling the power he had over you strangling you.
"I just want you to accept your new place. I want you to understand that in this world, death and destruction are inevitable. There is no redemption for the stained, but you can try to fix itā€¦ in your own way."
He trapped you in a dark cycle of thoughts, where each of his words echoed in your mind like a terrifying echo. You knew he was playing with you, manipulating your emotions. "If you donā€™t clean yourself, you will suffer the consequences. And if you cry for her again, I promise you will pay for it," he said, tightening his grip on your arm.
As the smoke dissipated into the air, the feeling of being trapped became more palpable. You found yourself between acceptance and internal struggle, but deep down, you knew you had to find a way out. However, the darkness around you grew more intense, and each of his words was another chain binding you to this fate you had not chosen.
The air thickened as he exhaled smoke, the room filling with a gray fog that seemed to reflect the chaos in your mind. He looked at you with an intensity that overflowed with obsession, a strange mix of affection and dominance that enveloped you. Despite the tears running down your face, you felt no sadness or fear. You had passed the stage of terror; now you felt strangely alive, almost liberated in your pain.
"My dear," he said in a soft yet authoritative voice, "you must not see this as a punishment. It is a purification. Gotham needs someone who understands its pain, and you are the chosen one." He leaned closer to you, his hot breath on your skin. "You are like a spark in this darkness, and together we can illuminate it. You just have to let the poison flow through you. With each tear, you are cleansing the city."
As he held you, the contact between the two of you was electric, and a part of you began to understand his madness, the way he had woven his dreams of greatness and purification through your own desires for belonging. "Did you know my mother was in Arkham?" he continued, as if sharing a special secret. "She was stained too. In her mind, she fought demons that no one else could see, just like you now. And look where she ended up: trapped in her own memories, in her own shadows."
The revelation hit you. A fragment of pain resurfaced, intertwining with the new knowledge. "Whatā€¦ what happened to her?" you asked, your voice trembling. It wasnā€™t sadness you felt; it was curiosity to know that story that had remained hidden.
"She got lost in the darkness of Gotham, just like everyone else," he said with contempt. "But that doesnā€™t have to be your destiny. You are stronger. My mother let herself be consumed by her madness, but youā€¦ you can take control. Let me guide you."
You fell silent, contemplating his words. The tears continued to fall, but now they were just a part of you, a manifestation of the internal struggle. You knew you were trapped in a dangerous game, but there was something in his promise of power and control that began to seduce you.
"So cry if you need to," he said, caressing your cheek with a touch that was both gentle and threatening. "But donā€™t let those tears weaken you. Every time you feel the urge to cry for her, remember what you are. Remember that the city needs someone like you to cleanse it of the filth."
"How can I do that?" you asked, feeling the echo of his words resonate in your mind. "How can I clean something so deeply rooted in darkness?"
"With determination," he answered firmly, his eyes shining with a mix of fervor and madness. "You must learn to see the beauty in chaos. There is power in pain. With every action you take, with every decision you make, you will be purifying Gotham of its own decay. And I will be by your side, guiding you. Together, we will be unstoppable."
As you absorbed his words, a strange sense of purpose began to take shape within you. Although his love was perverse, there was something in his vision that resonated with you, as if you were destined to fulfill that role. As the smoke from the cigarette faded into the air, so too did your fears, leaving only a cold and clear determination: you were going to take control of your destiny, even if it meant losing yourself in the process.
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"No! I donā€™t want you to go!" shouted little Y/n, clinging to her mother's handbag with the desperation of someone who knows something important is about to slip away.
Her mother, a blonde woman with a tired gaze, let out a sigh of impatience. Y/n couldn't quite remember her face, but she knew it hardened at the tug on her bag, and without thinking, she pushed the girl, causing her to fall to the ground with a dull thud. Y/n looked up from below, her big eyes reflecting a mix of fear and pain.
"Stop being silly, Y/n," her mother murmured, struggling to hide the tremor in her voice. She leaned down, trying to smile, but the coldness in her eyes betrayed her. "You know I have to do this... for both of us. Everything I do is for you, even if you donā€™t understand it now."
The girl nodded slowly, but inside, she felt the truthā€”that repeated phrase was just a curtain. She knew there was something broken in her mother, something she was too young to fully comprehend but sensed in every harsh gesture, in every bitter word that hung in the air. Something that made her feel alone, even when they were together.
Her mother straightened up, adjusting the bag as if it weighed tons. She raised a hand in a mechanical farewell, and without another word, she left through the door without looking back.
Days passed in a haze of silence and dry tears. Y/n had no idea how much time had passed since her mother left, leaving the echo of her footsteps as the only reminder of her presence. Hugging herself, she spent the nights waiting for some familiar sound that never came.
When she finally opened her eyes, she realized her surroundings had completely changed. She was no longer at home; she was sitting in a cold, unfamiliar room, with gray walls and flickering lights dimly overhead. In the distance, she could hear whispering voices.
"How is it possible that someone left such a small child alone?" It was the firm, serious voice of a man. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she distinguished a police badge on the man's uniform. It read Commissioner Gordon.
Next to him, a red-haired woman spoke in a low voice. "Dad, you can't be sure. Maybe it was just a lie. You know how her mother was: a history of psychiatric hospitals and drugs at home. How do we know she didn't make up the story about Wayne?"
"Barbara, we have evidence that doesn't lie," Gordon replied coldly, his tone tinged with disdain. "We know the paternity test is real."
The girl felt the world sway around her. She listened to every word and felt each comment like a dagger sinking deeper into her chest. Those adults, figures of authority and trust, spoke of her mother as if she were little more than a mistake, something despicable that had left scars on her life. Sitting there, hidden behind a wall and hugging her knees, tears returned to her eyes, a mix of sadness and a terrifying understanding of what it meant to be alone in the world.
"Do you really think someone like that should have had a child in her care?" Barbara said from her wheelchair, her tone full of contempt. "She was probably just looking for easy money, manipulating everyone she could."
Commissioner Gordon frowned, clearly uncomfortable. "Barbara, that's not fair! Even if she didnā€™t lead the best life, she was still a citizen like anyone else, and she had the right to rebuild her life. No one is perfect."
From her corner, Y/n tried to cover her ears, but Barbara's words were impossible to ignore.
"I can't believe it, Dad. How could anyone in their right mind have left a child in the hands of that woman?" Barbara said with a cold, almost poisoned voice. "Someone who clearly had drug addiction problems and who was in and out of psychiatric hospitals. I bet she didnā€™t even know who the real father was."
Each word made Y/n's chest tighten even more. Her mind screamed silently: Stop! Please stop saying that about her! Her small hands trembled as she remembered the moments she had spent with her mother. Her mother, who although had those dark days and her brusque manner, had fed her, tucked her in, and cared for her as best as she could. Despite her mistakes, she had been her mother, and that was all Y/n could understand.
But Barbaraā€™s words kept filling the room, like a storm of resentment. "I don't know how Bruce can even be involved in something like this. That woman was a burden to everyone. I can't imagine anyone worse as a mother."
Y/n squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to block it out. It's not true. Sheā€™s not bad. She took care of me. We didnā€™t have much, but she always tried to be there for me. But no matter how hard her thoughts tried to silence the pain, Barbara's words left deep scars, increasingly difficult to heal.
As Y/n remained there, her tears already dry, her thoughts twisted in her mind like threatening shadows. She heard the echoes of Barbara's cruel words and Gordon's, and a silent resentment grew in her chest, almost like a slow poison. She tried to remember the good moments with her mother, but the dark thoughts seemed to drown them out. She was good, she was good... No, you can't say that about her... But those same thoughts tangled with hate and confusion, and the pain grew stronger.
Suddenly, everything turned white. The walls, the voices, the cold metal chair beneath her legs... everything disappeared into a blinding void that enveloped every corner of her mind. And then, there was only her, standing in that white abyss, with a strange weight on her shoulders and in her hands.
She looked down and saw a white armor, shining as if made of shards of moon and shadow. It covered her body completely, with firm, polished plates that fit like a second skin, protecting every part of her. The gauntlets were solid, with sharp and detailed edges, and in her hands, she wielded two katanas whose blades reflected that void like deadly mirrors.
The design of the armor was imposing and terrifying. The helmet resembled a bat, with long pointed ears extending upward, and a dark V-shaped visor that barely revealed her eyes. The lines that ran across her chest and arms formed the silhouette of folded wings, as if that bat awaited to unfold at any moment. The chest was engraved with fine black details, resembling veins radiating dark power. In the center, a small emblem in the shape of a black teardrop contrasted with the radiant white of the armor, like a mark of pain and sacrifice.
In the dim light of the void where she stood, Y/n felt the weight of the katanas in her hands as if they were extensions of her own being. In that moment, the white armor fit her like a comforting embrace, a reminder of the power she now possessed. She looked at herself in a non-existent reflection, feeling that every part of her being was ready to act, to reclaim what she had lost.
With a tremor of emotion and a palpable obsession, she held them to her chest, hugging them tightly. Words flowed from her lips, laden with a burning, almost manic desire: "Soon you will be mine... I will go home. I will be my little girl again."
The echo of her voice resonated in the white void, vibrating with the intensity of her longing. In her mind, an image formed of a home, a place where shadows no longer lurked and where her mother, though imperfect, would be able to embrace her once more. The idea of being together again, of transforming her pain into power, filled her with a fierce determination.
"I will come back for you," she whispered, her voice choked with a mix of tears and a crazed smile. "Nothing will stop me. I promise." The choked laughter turned into a murmur of echoes, resonating in the abyss like a sinister promise, as the world around her began to fade again, leaving her alone with her obsession and her new identity.
In the silence, whispers began to rise, soft at first, but increasingly insistent. One word repeated, muted yet burning, like a spark in the shadows.
K
e
r
o
s
e
n
e
The word reverberated in the void, growing more intense, like a kind of dark mantra. And when Y/n could barely bear the weight of those voices, one final phrase emerged, chilling and final:
"Death is the ultimate prize."
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You walked through the halls of the old apartment block, your white armor shining in the dim light, like a bat defying the embrace of the night. The echoes of your heels resonated, a dark song reverberating in the solitude of the worn walls.
Your figure, sculpted in gleaming metal, was a silhouette of elegance and mystery, as you hummed a forgotten melody, slipping between the shadows like a whisper of the forbidden. Each step was a heartbeat in the silence, a chilling reminder that there is still life in abandonment.
The portraits on the walls watched you, empty eyes that seemed to come alive, as you moved with the grace of a specter, a macabre dance of light and shadow at dusk.
The doors, worn and creaking, whispered secrets of past stories, and you, guardian of those forgotten tales, advanced fearlessly, seeking what was left behind.
You were an enigma, a reflection of the lost, a shadow walking, dressed in white, in a world clinging to its demons, where the past and present intertwine in a lethal embrace, and the night waits, eager for your return.
You paused before the door of one of the apartments, its frayed wood opening like an abyss, a dark invitation that defied logic. The silence became thick, almost palpable, and the echo of your humming faded, leaving a void that swallowed the darkness.
The threshold awaited you, a portal to the unknown, and a cold breeze, laden with whispers, caressed your skin like a lost lover. Inside, the shadows seemed to come alive, a palace of echoes and laments, where time had woven a web.
Your heart raced, a mix of adrenaline and challenge, as you gently pushed the door. It creaked in protest, like an old ghost, and when it opened, revealed an abandoned world, furniture covered in dust, with withered memories.
The remnants of a past life crowded every corner, and a scent of decay floated in the air, but something more, a glimpse of presence, urged you to enter, to explore the hidden. You peered in, and the dimness embraced you, as if the apartment claimed you as its own.
Each step on the creaky floor was an act of daring, and the walls seemed to murmur forgotten secrets, stories of betrayed loves and lost souls. In the center of the room, a dark, diffuse, and shadowy figure formed among the shadows, like an echo of your own existence, a reflection of what could have been.
You stood still, breath held in the abyss of the moment, the half-open door, a threshold to your destiny, and the silence, now laden with promises, stripped you of fears, leaving only the certainty that in that space, you faced the echoes of your own darkness.
As you advanced, your eyes fixed on a dusty, worn wooden box resting on the small dining table. Something about it drew you in, as if it held a dark secret. You approached and, with trembling hands, opened it. Inside, horror was revealed: the head of Poison Ivy, the green hair still vibrant, a gaze frozen in time. You didnā€™t cry, but a slight tremor coursed through your body, a mixture of surprise and disdain for the brutality that had taken place in that space.
"Normally you enter through the window," you murmur to the air, with an ironic smile on your lips, as if addressing a presence you hoped would appear.
And then, as if the night itself had responded to your call, Batman emerged from the shadows, his dark figure silhouetted against the dim light coming through the window. The air became tense in an instant.
"Who are you?" he asked, his grave voice resonating with a mix of distrust and anger. "What are you doing in the apartment of Bruce Wayne's daughter?"
You laughed, a laugh that echoed in the empty room, filled with irony and knowledge.
"His daughter?" you mocked, your eyes shining with a mix of challenge and amusement. "So Y/n is your daughter. Isnā€™t it curious how things intertwine in this city?"
The silence grew heavy, and you felt his gaze intensify, evaluating every word you had spoken. He knew you had crossed a line, but the revelation had ignited a spark of playfulness in you.
"How do you know who I am?" The question slipped from his lips, but there was no fear, just an unsettling curiosity.
"Gotham has its secrets, Bruce. And I, like you, am part of this darkness. The identity of a hero or heroine is just a game of shadows, and in this game, you and I know how to move between the lines."
You stood firm, the tension between you palpable, as the echo of laughter still resonated in the air. Batman's figure, always imposing and enigmatic, seemed to waver at the revelation that in this dark labyrinth, he was not the only player.
The tension intensified, and Batman took a step forward, approaching you with an intense gaze.
"How do you know about my daughter?" he inquired, his voice brusque, each word laden with frustration. You remained firm, crossing your arms, letting the silence settle between you.
"Oh, Gotham speaks, even in whispers. The city has a way of revealing what heroes prefer to hide," you replied disdainfully. "Your life, your secrets, are more exposed than you think." He frowned, anger crackling in his eyes.
"What do you know about Y/N?" he demanded, his voice low and threatening, as if waiting for you to throw down a challenge.
"I know you didn't want her. That you left her in the shadows while you dedicated yourself to your personal crusade," you replied, irony dancing in your tone. "That girl grew up without a father, and you, the great hero of Gotham, preferred to be a myth."
Rage etched itself on his face, but there was something more, a hidden pain surfacing behind the armor of his anger.
"It's not that simple, and you have no idea what I've done for her," he retorted, his voice tense, each word like a blow.
"Really?" you asked, flashing a mocking smile. "What have you done? Cut off her partner's head, the only person I love, just to extract invalid information? What a great father."
An uncomfortable silence settled between you, as the air vibrated with unspoken emotions.
"You are not one to judge me," he declared, his voice tense. "You know nothing of what I've sacrificed."
"Maybe not, but I know enough about the void you've left," you replied, undeterred. "And I know Ivy was there for her. You, the hero, vanished while others took on the role of father."
The anger shone in his eyes, but there was also a spark of recognition. He observed you, assessing the courage that led you to challenge him.
"And who are you to come and point fingers? A lost anti-heroine in her own struggle?" he shot back, his voice laden with contempt.
"I am what Gotham needs," you replied, confident. "A reminder that even heroes like you can fail."
The discussion turned into a power struggle, both of you clinging to your truths, while Poison Ivy's head remained a sinister reminder of the choices you both had made.
Suddenly, Batman's fury exploded like lightning in the darkness. Without warning, he seized you by the neck, lifting you with surprising strength. The air became scarce, and the pressure on your throat made you feel vulnerable, although the mockery never left your expression.
"Where is Y/N?" he demanded, his voice charged with rage and desperation. The shadows moved around him, intensifying his figure, which seemed more monster than hero at that moment.
Despite the iron grip, you kept your gaze fixed on him, challenging him, feeling the adrenaline pulse through your veins.
"Are you that worried about her whereabouts?" you replied, a mocking smile barely hiding your disdain. "Maybe she's hanging from a hook in a slaughterhouse, who knows? That would be an ironic twist for a girl who grew up in the shadow of a hero, donā€™t you think?"
His eyes narrowed, anger and helplessness battling within him. You leaned in closer, feeling the pressure on your neck, but that only fueled your defiance.
"Don't laugh about this!" he roared, tightening his grip slightly. The fury in his voice was palpable, but something deeper kept him on edge.
"Me? Laughing? You, the great Batman, scared for your daughter's life?" you shot back, never breaking eye contact.
The tension was becoming unbearable, but there was something fascinating about the game you were playing. He was caught between rage and fear, and you, in your shadowy game, fed off his anguish.
"Do you know something? You're losing yourself in your own legend," you continued, while he held you in the air. "I'm sure you once dreamed that she would have died in that alley with her mother."
In that instant, something in his expression changed. The anger slowly faded, giving way to a deep concern, though he still held you firmly.
"I warn you," he whispered, his eyes locked onto yours. "If you lie to me, I won't show mercy."
You laughed again, though the risk was imminent, as your heart raced.
"And what will you do?" you challenged, your voice trembling but resolute. "Threaten me with your dark past? I'm here because I know the truth, and I do not fear your shadows."
Bruce's patience evaporated like smoke in the heavy air of that apartment. With a sudden movement, he hurled you towards the table, the impact resonating with a crash that reverberated through the walls. Your katanas slipped to the floor, leaving you defenseless. The furniture creaked under your weight, but adrenaline kept you alert, your instincts sharp.
You quickly rose, shaking your head to clear the confusion, while the anger on his face transformed into determination.
"I don't have time for your games, Kerosene," he shouted, stepping forward, ready to fight. "If you know Y/N, tell me!"
You steadied yourself, smiling defiantly as you positioned yourself, preparing for combat.
"Do you really think you'll throw away the only one who can help you?" you replied, feeling the pulse of challenge coursing through your veins. "I'm offering you a chance to know the truth, and you choose to fight. Very typical of you."
With a swift movement, he lunged at you, throwing a direct punch. You dodged, making an agile turn, but the atmosphere became a whirlwind of force and speed.
You charged at him, hitting him in the side, feeling how his tense muscles responded to your attack. It was not just a physical fight; it was a clash of wills, an explosion of repressed emotions.
"Youā€™re an idiot if you think you can scare me!" you yelled at him while he tried to immobilize you. You twisted and managed to sidestep him, landing a blow to his jaw that made him stagger.
Bruce quickly regained his footing, his eyes blazing with fury. He advanced again, his movements precise and calculated, while you played with speed and agility.
"Stop!" he roared, his voice echoing in the enclosed space. "I just want to know where my daughter is."
"And I just want you to stop living in your hero fantasy," you replied, with a defiant laugh as you dodged another attack. "The truth hurts you, Bruce, and you prefer the fight over facing it."
The exchange of blows continued, the sound of fists colliding and the creaking of breaking furniture filling the air. The room became a battlefield, with the table as the central stage of your struggle.
Bruce, with a mix of skill and strength, cornered you against the wall, but instead of giving up, you seized the closeness. With an agile movement, you pushed him back, making him lose his balance.
"Are you going to keep this up? Destroying whatā€™s left of this city?" you said, breathing heavily but not yielding. "Or are you going to listen to whatā€™s really at stake?"
His eyes were now inches from yours, the fury and frustration of his search fueling the spark of the battle. Both of you were willing to fight, but deep down, you knew there was something deeper at play than just physical strength.
The battle continued, becoming increasingly intense and violent, like a whirlwind of unleashed fury. You launched at him, landing a blow that hit his chest, but Bruce responded with a punch that made you stagger; the force behind his blow was terrifying. The rage emanating from him was palpable, and with each attack, both of you took the struggle to a new level.
The apartment walls vibrated with the thud of bodies colliding and furniture being dragged. The sound of shattering glass echoed in the air as you crashed into a table, breaking it into pieces.
You got back up, a piece of wood in hand, and threw it at him. Bruce dodged it, but the fragment smashed against a lamp, exploding into a million shards. The light flickered before going out, plunging the place into an unsettling darkness.
Both of you moved like shadows through the chaos, and sweat and blood began to mix, the air filled with a metallic smell that only intensified the battle. Bruce landed a punch on your jaw, and you tasted blood in your mouth. You didnā€™t stop; with a cry of defiance, you responded with a series of rapid blows, each one stronger than the last.
You darted to his side, using your agility to hit him in the ribs. The impact made him stagger, but before you could capitalize on the opportunity, Bruce spun around and kneed you in the abdomen. The air escaped your lungs, and the sharp pain made you fall to your knees. However, you didnā€™t give up.
With renewed determination, you got up and threw a direct punch to his face, hearing the crack of his skin upon impact. Blood spurted from his lip, and the fact that you had hurt him only fueled his fury. With superhuman strength, he pushed you back, slamming you against a shelf, which gave way and collapsed on you. Books and personal items scattered across the floor, covering the place in even greater chaos.
But there was no time to stop. You rose amongst the debris, feeling the adrenaline pumping through your veins. With a leap, you charged at him again, landing a blow that left a mark on his face. Rage and pain intertwined in the air, and both of you were on the brink of madness.
The room had turned into a battlefield, with blood staining the floor and walls. The apartmentā€™s decor, once a refuge, lay in tatters, as if Gotham itself had decided to yield to the brutality of your confrontation.
Bruce, with his determined gaze locked on you, lunged at you again. Both of you were exhausted, but the fight was a necessity, an uncontrollable impulse that kept you standing. His fists and your movements were a wild dance, and amidst the chaos, both of you knew that the outcome of this battle would not only define the present but also seal your fate.
You charged at him, landing a direct blow to his stomach, and when he bent forward, you took the chance to hit him in the face once more. Blood spilled from his nose, but he countered with a knee strike, and the impact resonated in your bones.
The fight continued with increasing ferocity, the room transforming into a wreckage. Every blow exchanged resonated like thunder, but it was the moment when Bruce landed a punch to your side that made you fall to your knees again, gasping for air. The pain was intense, but there was no time to lament; rage and frustration drove him to push onward.
Seeing the opportunity, Bruce lunged at you, and with a rough movement, he lifted you off the ground, holding you by the neck and raising you into the air. You struggled, feeling the pressure increase, the air escaping your lungs. The room blurred around you as you began to lose control.
"Tell me where Y/N is!" he shouted, his voice echoing in your mind like a refrain of desperation and fury.
You were on the brink of passing out, your eyes clouding, but amidst the confusion, you managed to maintain lucidity, though it was becoming increasingly difficult. Bruce's hands were like a yoke around your throat, and the feeling of suffocation intensified with every passing second.
The pressure was unbearable, and you fought to free your neck, to breathe, but it felt like trying to break chains of steel. Your hands struck his arm, but he wouldnā€™t relent, becoming more focused, more desperate.
Finally, with a titanic effort, you managed to reach your helmet, and in a twist, you pushed him back, but the pressure of his grip was too much. It was then that, in a last-ditch attempt to free yourself, the helmet slipped off your head, falling to the floor with a dull thud.
The light of the apartment filtered back into your vision, and it was at that moment that Bruce, seeing your face, stopped dead in his tracks, the expression of his fury transforming into horror.
The face before him was not just an adversary; it was a reflection of his own daughter. The reality crashed against him like lightning.
"...Y/N?"
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A/N ā”€ā”€ā”€ā”€ I WANT TO EMPHASIZE THAT YES, WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THE DOCTOR AND Y/N IS REAL. And yes, it's necessary; you'll understand why by the end. Furthermore, Ivy's death has always been planned. In the next chapter, a female character will appear who, I warn you, will be a victim of the Waynes, and the scene will be a bit graphic and very grotesque.
I want to add that this chapter is very, very, veeeery weak because Iā€™m very tired, not very inspired, and dealing with other things. Iā€™ll try to do better for the next one and bring you a chapter of better quality.
And a warning for those on the taglist: if youā€™re already on it, please donā€™t ask me again and again to add your name because I end up getting confused and repeating names.
Also, there are some that I canā€™t add for reasons I donā€™t understand.
If you requested to be on the taglist before and you're not, please ask me here or send me a message; I donā€™t bite.
Feel free to ask me anything if youā€™d like.
Take a bath!
Tag list! ā—‡ ā€” @amber-content @toast-on-dandelioms @feral-childs-word @sweetconnoisseurgardener @victoria1676 @toasted-cat18 @nosyrobin @beeaskewwrites @yandere-enthusiast @telltaletoad @dhanyasri @vanessa-boo @m3vl0vesu @jellypotato66 @midnightgrimoire @cherryxxxxyoongi @plsfckmedxddy @h0neysiba @mybones537 @erikasurfer @sheepintherain @pix-stuff @yan-rai @uniquecutie-puffs @arlandvery @theblonde777 @alishii
@maicenitas @ti-girl1226 @vanilliona @chickenwings435 @thedramabrotherss @bat1212 @imnotdumbimstupif @somebodyrandom-613 @aelxr @jsprien213 @lovebug-apple @zenychwan @starsdotalk @holylonelyponyeatingmacaron @misdollface @clementinesyummy @bunbunboysworld @lunaluz432 @meowmeeps @adeptusxia0 @mettatons-number-1fan @fairygardenprincesss @nervousalpacalady @mottysith
@redkarmakai @the-rouge-robin @twismare @wizzerreblogs @beeboopneep @mistfire1999 @delfinadolphin @expctron
Inspiration: @acid-ixx with his Again & Again series, @gotham-daydreams ' work, @i-cant-sing 's work and @klemen-tine 's work, be sure to check them out!
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