#never in my life have i wanted to follow someone on spotify SO BAD

[cillixn]

What did u think of Cilly’s special edition?

i legit have not stopped screaming about it holy shit

i enjoyed it immensely and dude i would’ve thought it’d be insane to put aphex twin, the supremes, and spoken word poetry all in the same block but?? the whole thing felt so cohesive and meticulously curated and aaaaaaaa so good 🙈🙈🙈

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello... again! Are you hyperfixated on RedactedAudio?

Do you want (need) to know who to follow to cultivate your dashboard and feed your gremlin brain good, good boyfriend roleplay content and my first recommendation post of magnificent fan-artists and fan-writers wasn't enough dopamine for you?

Cool, I’ve got you, and I’ve got even more hyperlinks. Buckle up.

(Note: This is by no means a comprehensive, objective, or complete list, as I have biases and favorites and limited time. If you feel I've missed someone, please feel free to reblog with your additions! I just would have loved a guide like this when I got into the fandom back in August 2022 and wanted to spread some positivity~!)

Fanfiction:

@agentplutonium: they/them

Pluto is just one of the many gorgeous people who've migrated to Tumblr now that Twitter is, ya know, on fire. I've been following them on Tiktok for ages, and I'm so pleased they joined us on tumblr now! Highlights: "Constant" and "Inconvenience" mean the world to me, because there are just not enough aspec headcanons in the fandom, we could always have more.

@angelicaether: they/them

Aether is a fucking gem unto this fandom- not only do they run Sky Side, a friendly, closeknit (hehe) server for 21+ Redacted fans but they also were who we have to thank for Redacted Kinktober 2023, bless them~ Highlights: New Job Posting is magnificent if you’re in the mood for some David/Angel smut today and this cute couple crossover fic if you’re feeling more SFW!

@caelumsnuff: they/them

Phoenix is magnificent, creative, and endlessly sweet. I also respect the hell out of anyone that can take the anon hate that they get with as much grace and attitude as they do /gen /pos Highlights: I love this gift for the Quinn-fuckers they wrote, I do, but I have to admit I'm partial to the Imperium!Vincent/Imperium!Asher piece they did, because their tension and hatred was just too palpable to deny, I needed it.

@empydoc: any pronouns

Empy's Soul Eater AU has not only taken over my life but has also got me deeply wanted a Soul Eater rewatch. God forbid xe succeed because this post has already been delayed enough /j Highlights: I love the Marcus/Asset post, because that's my favorite pairing but also because Asset as both an android and a weapon is so, so interesting. Blake/Bestie's is also a particular gem, because being a meister just gives him a new dimension to his manipulation and I love it.

@floofdeloop: she/her

Not only is Floof a beloved fic writer but she's also one of the adored DJs of the fandom. Are you really a fan if you haven't looked up Redacted on Spotify and saved all her playlists? /j Highlights: Her whole playlist page is literally so good, but I love the cute, domestic vibes of this Geordi one or the tragic, angsty, Britrock vibes of this Porter playlist~!

@joshusten: they/them

Sten is one of if not the writer that comes to mind when you're looking for amazing Guy/Honey content! Highlights: Bitter Melon is my personal favorite of their work; what can I say? I'm a sucker for a little jealousy in my fics. You also can't miss Honeysuckle, their most recent piece which gets into Guy's canonically less-than-pure mind~

@pinksparkl: she/her

Gosh, where would we be without her? Pink never has a bad word or thought for anyone and just persists in being a delightful, sweet presence in the fandom. Highlight: I can't decide what I'm more obsessed with- their Adam-centric fic exploring the Progeny/Maker bond or their nsfw Gavin-centric with his tail exploring Freelancer nudge nudge wink wink

@redlikeredacted: they/them

Just as their blog says, they are the CEO of Dasher. In my head, they are the president of both the David/Asher and the Autistic!David fan clubs, and I'd vote for them a second and third term okay I love Red Highlights: Their "David bottoming for the first time" fic is everything to me okay I am here for nothing but this except maybe this Milo fic where he gets Aggro~

@teafairywithabook: she/they

A lovely writer, voice actor, and person, Cheri does it all! With a whole 34 Redacted works on AO3, they are a must-follow. Highlights: I'll provide the masterlist of previously mentioned works, but I must recommend her nsfw Avior/Starlight fic keeping us sated until we finally get an Avior BA and their fic of Alexis's POV of Sam's turning I couldn't not okay I'm just a person I have biases

@tepid-judas: he/they/it

My favorite Adam stan, my friend, and the person who converted me into an Adam/Brighteyes shipper, I thank Judas every day for that. Highlights: I love their series of epistolary fics, because who doesn’t love a good letter, but I would be remiss if I didn’t rec his DAMN polycule plus Xavier fic cause fuck canon let's add frosty the snowman to the orgy /lh

@themonotonysyndrome: she/her

Lady, my dearest friend and greatest foe~ How else do I describe the gorgeous, sociable, friendly person who bought Alexis/Christian into the world and ruined my life? (affectionate) Highlights: Let these two assholes in love take you on a ride, fall in love with them too. If that's not your vibe, I cannot recommend enough her insane, gen z Bright Eyes being an absolute fucking terror /pos

Fanart:

@androgynouspenguinexpert

Can YOU believe Penguin's only been posting art since, like, December? I certainly can't, because it's like they've drawn every boy at this point and each is as smoochable and adorable as the last. Highlights: Their Porter is one of my favorites; what can I say? Who can resist this high ponytail and cape combo? I also love their Hush, cause look at him~! He's adorable! Penguin gives all these boys such luscious, floofable hair; I love them!

@cute-brainz: she/they/it

Kindly, lovingly, respectfully, Cute's listeners designs reduce me to a sniveling, simpering puddle of a simp. I become nothing but a humble, simple straight man, and none of you came blame me good god their listeners are hotter than all the redacted men- Highlights: Like, look at their Lovely: the hair, the singlet, the VIBES? Fuckin irresistible; like Vincent, I'd give them anything their heart desires. And their ANGEL? The MINUTE David Shaw fumbles that bag, I'm on my knees with a ring hello earth angel will you be mine

@darling-solaire

Darl has been posting art for only a month and a half at the writing of the post, and yet I feel like I've loved their Solaires for forever. They, as a unit, are hot and tragic as fuck, and I love them. Highlights: I am obsessed, particularly, with the Solaire family portraits, but maybe that's because my girl Alexis is up there, and I love her. There's also this bust compilation of more Redacted boys in case you didn't find your favorite in the Solaires~!

@free-boundsoul: she/her

Okay so, like, vibe with me did you ever love Lisa Frank products with the bright, saturated colors and sparkling eyes but wish instead of cuddly animals that there were really hot men? Then Savvie is the artist for you~ Highlights: One, it's fun to see a Regulus that's not blue, okay? It's thinkin outside the box. Two, the CRACKS? WITH THE GOLD PEEKING THROUGH? I'm inconsolable my god. Speaking of daemons, Fool!Gavin is sort of everything to me. He's just really rocking that sweater vest!

@hotmcrodz: he/they

I know for a fact that I'm not the only one obsessed with the way Jai draws human anatomy. I have unironically seen a Jai piece in the tag and gone "WOWZA" like I'm Jim Carrey in The Mask; that's what they do to me. Highlights: This Milo was one of the pieces that made my eyes pop out my head like a cartoon wolf; I think it's the shirtlessness plus the muscle pose. I just couldn't handle it. I also reacted like that to their Babe because I am an equal opportunity pervert /hj

@izzuku: he/they

Izzuku designs characters with the most realistic and gorgeous body types; like, I love the soft jawlines and how warm and touchable they draw skin. Every Izzuku design is kissable as hell. Highlights: I have to recommend his Regulus and Hush designs, obviously, they're my favorite men. However, I can't let the world go by another rotation without recommending this special Halloween version of Vincent~!

@kilarthmac: she/they

In case we needed another reason to love and appreciate the iconic timestamping account we all recognize from the Redacted comments, we cannot neglect their fanart! Highlights: Like, look at this brought-back-wrong Vega! This Hush with his cute face and off-putting air! He's so cute and so weird! I also love this piece they've done for one of my favorite rarepairs, Imperium!Lasko/Adam~

@latenightsleeper: he/they/it/she

My kinfolk and my beloved, one of the few people who understand me and the vision that is beautiful, blonde, dumb and lovable Christian. They will give you so many feelings about Darlin and Christian, and they will cause you agony /pos Highlights: Obviously, I'm obsessed with the Tank/Christian art like this one (Christian is just so cuuute), but we're all obsessed with this Sam/Darlin animatic set to Eat Your Young.

@maxpaulll

An amazing artist that I'm so glad we managed to get to migrate to Tumblr from Twitter so I could put them on this list~ Highlights: I am obsessed always with their Indigenous character designs, especially David. Like, look at him, he's indescribably beautiful, outshone by no one except maybe Max's Imp!Vega, because oh my god look at him~

@nortyourself: she/her

I don't think there's anyone who's not obsessed with at least one of Rachel's pieces; like, I believe she'll get to every Redacted man with the speed and beauty she works. Even Reticuli has gotten the Rachel treatment and been made hot af. Highlights: Technically, this Imperium!Damien just takes me breath away; like, it would be blown up and framed in his palace (for all of his short and tempestuous reign). Personally, her Hush has a dear and special place in my heart. He's just my favorite~!

@penncilkid: any pronouns

One of the most gorgeous and darling and non-stop creators in the space! They're a true triple threat, kicking our hearts in the butt with their art, their writing, and their audio roleplay series~ Highlights: With so many mediums under their belt, it's so hard to choose. If you're looking for purely Redacted content, their art is prolific and so creative, I've got to share the whole gallery. If you're in the market for a new VA to fall in love with, you've got to check out their youtube channel~!

@pycth: any pronouns

I dont have anything creative or profound to say here- all of pycth's designs are smoking hot and would render me selectively mute with a glance, 'nuff said. Highlights: How can I PICK? Ugh, hottest of the hot that comes to mind has got to be their President Moore art; like, this pose isn't FAIR. On the other end of the spectrum, if you want your heart kicked in the butt, I don't think any of us are over this Sam piece or ever will be.

@rainingcatsandjune: any pronouns

Another new artist who's only been here since April, and yet- I would die for his and his fine-ass, touchable Sam. Like, hell, render any man pretty like that, and I'll die for him. That's how pretty this art is. Highlights: Like, look at him. How does one do anything but look at him, especially in this pose? Again, look at him! Look at the hands. The soft, touchable glow and how it lights and shades his and Darlin's skin. The broad shoulders good god~

@sainthowlzon: they/he

You can't turn a corner on tumblr without seeing some of Howl's adorable Scribble Dolls or Icons! (Or any other social media actually. I feel like I've deffo seem some of Howl's icons on Tiktok too.) They're cute, they're iconic, and there's one for almost everyone! Highlights: Here's that full set of icons for your perusal; my personal favorite is Asset's. And here's the full set of Redacted Scribble Dolls; my favorite is Regulus, I think, because of his freaky vibes, but it's so hard to pick!

@sincerelywhistler: any pronouns

Like everyone with a working set of eyes and a beating heart, I am obsessed with all of Wes's designs; like, who wouldn't fall in love at first sight with all those beautiful and often shirtless people? Highlights: There's honestly too many to pick from, but I'll TRY. Their Gavin is an absolute must, I share it with the Discord on sight, he's that it girl if you will. Oh, and one cannot neglect Avior's HBS piece; I'm not even an Avior girlie, and I was like daaaaaamnnnnnnn~

@slushiepizza: they/them

Where would all the guy-lovers be without Slushie and their absolute cornucopia of Guy and Honey delights? Like, where else would we get our homemade, MacGyver'd serotonin? Highlights: The "Everyday" series is everything to me, and I mean everything; Guy has become too relatable and has struck me right in the heart. If you're not in a Guy mood, I'm also in love with their older, cozy Anton~!

@s0lairee: she/they

Jo's style is just so clean, so cute, and I really love it when they play with lighting in their pieces. Like, we are almost, almost there to making me stan Vincent if you're gonna drape him in moonlight like that... Highlights: ...thought, if I had to pick, I'd probably lean more towards Vincent's partner. They're rocking the red eyes, I love them! I'm also obsessed with their freckle-y, sweet Lasko, because who isn't?

@strawberrybouvine: he/they

The artistic equivalent of gourmet candy, I am absolutely obsessed with the gorgeous colors of Jasper's art and cannot get enough of the sweetness! Is this sugar running through my veins or unparalleled cuteness? Highlights: I'm not even a David stan but, like, jesus christ, the long hair and hairy chest makes me want to go feral. Don't even get me started on the cuteness of his chibi art, I really will start foaming at the mouth.

@theflowersaremine

I don't know exactly what medium Haylin uses or what colors or effects they use, but goddamn it makes those men so dreamy. I'm not even a Sam stan, but that's a smoochable man right out of Gilmore Girls /pos Highlights: Like, are you seeing the Gilmore Girls vision? That's a handsome man from a wholesome show geared for women- almost as handsome as this art of David. I see this smile in my dreams; it's so beautiful.

@venuslove-28: any pronouns

Venus's art is strawberry and vanilla soft serve injected straight into my heart; it's so familiar and cute, so charming, and I want to stim and bounce in excitement when I see it. Does that make sense? It'll make sense when you see it. Highlights: Personally, I have never and I will never stop thinking about this Huxley, I am simply not capable. Their Avior is also cuter than all get-out, I must admit.

@wingless-cupid

I don't think anyone does cute and colorful and pastel and kawaii quite like Cupid. You can't help but look and admire all the eye-catching colors and then want to hug their cheery, dynamic characters! Highlights: I'm highkey obsessed with their Freelancer and DAMNily and all their d(a)emons in general. Like, look at this! Minh is such a cutie and a simp, I love them! I'm also constantly thinking about this art in particular, because look at all these PRICELESS EXPRESSIONS!

@yoteako: he/it

Would you like stunning, high quality art and tragic, old man yaoi on your dash? That's a silly question; of course you do which is why we're going to follow and love on Yote. Highlights: See how beautiful, doomed, and intimate this multi-page comic is about two characters who've never canonically spoken? That's devotion. On the less forsaken side of the narrative, their Gavin/Lasko ship art is embedded into my heart.

If you’re reading all the way here, I hope you found the post helpful and smiled while making your way through it! Or both! The RedactedAudio fandom is truly one of my favorite spaces on the internet; it’s so intimate and creative, and I’ve found some amazing, perfect friends here, so I hope you will too 💖

[bangtanintotheroom]

Just Like Candy (M)(Teaser)

She's just like candy, she's so sweet

But you know that it ain't real cherry, know that it ain't real cherry

🔊 candy - doja cat (spotify | soundcloud) 🔊

• Pairing: S.Coups x (F)Reader

• Genre: Non-Idol!AU, Strangers to Lovers, Smut

• Rating: 18+

• Words (teaser): 583

• Summary: Following a breakup, Seungcheol is looking for a distraction for the night. You catch his eye with your red lips and the rest is history.

• Warnings/themes: mentions of a breakup, sulky Cheol 🥲, drinking, swearing, one night stand, flirting, making out, dirty talk, handjobs, fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), c*me swallowing, strength kink, manhandling, hint of begging

• Notes: Yes, yes, I know. "There goes AJ falling for another leader!" I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! SO WHAT IF I LIKE A RELIABLE MAN HUH, HUH 🤬 *deep breaths* Anyways. Just enjoy me starting to simp for Mr. Coups and watch as I slowly become a Carat over time 😊

• Teaser Notes: Teasers are a WIP and will not fully reflect the final draft, warnings and themes are subject to change. If you want to be tagged when the final draft is released, either leave a reply or shoot me an ask! PLEASE HAVE YOUR AGE PRESENT IN YOUR BIO OR YOU WILL NOT BE TAGGED.

• Taglist: @minttangerines @minisugakoobies @kiestrokes @swga-ficrecs @hyunjinsjeans @firesighgirl

Reminder that I have a permanent taglist if you're interested in all future fics I post!

“Yah, is he on his phone again?”

Wonwoo replied to Seungkwan’s question from the front with, “He sure is.”

Every other occupant groaned in exasperation, Chan peering around him to scold, “Seungcheol-hyung, focus! You’re supposed to have fun with us tonight, not pine over her!”

“Just block her already!”

Seungcheol was quick to snap at Joshua’s quip, “No, because then I’ll look bitter.”

“So?”

Seungkwan turned around in the passenger seat to look directly at him, seeming as if he was about to give the most unhelpful advice ever.

“Hyung, you want my suggestion?”

“No.”

“Too bad. Fuck her feelings, respectfully—” He was quick to throw in that word after the elder’s face began twisting in displeasure. “—she decided to end it and she’s out there living her best life while you’re moping around. Be selfish for once and focus on your well-being!”

Chan joined in, “Exactly! Are you going to let her distract you from having a good time with us tonight?”

The eldest wanted to fight back on instinct, but the more he stewed on his friends’ words, the more he realized that they had a point.

What was the use in getting in his feelings? He’d just end up being the downer of the group and waste the effort they put in to have him get dressed and come out. Even though it had been a while since he went to a party of this size, the tiniest part of him was excited. His ex was the type to avoid get togethers like this, so he often put off the guys’ invites in favor of pleasing her.

But she wasn’t around anymore…

He sighed heavily. Hopefully, he’d be distracted enough that she wouldn’t run through his mind until he got back to his bed and deleted more of their couple pictures.

“No, I’m not.”

“Last chance to back out.”

Seungcheol couldn’t help but knit his brows a bit as he pondered. Was he really about to fool around with a complete stranger?

He didn’t need to see Wonwoo’s flabbergasted expression downstairs to know that this was somewhat out-of-character for him. Even when he was single, getting in bed with someone he had only known for a couple of hours was a thought he never entertained. But this was now and he was, to put it lightly, yearning for some physical contact that would keep him distracted for the night.

And quite frankly, he didn’t want to say no to you.

“Seungcheol?”

The light call of his name brought him out of his thoughts, looking down to see you gazing up with mild concern.

“You alright?”

He was quick to nod and smile reassuringly, replying, “Yes. Sorry, just…got in my head for a bit.”

Your expression eased up, tongue clicking as you gave his hands a squeeze.

“Well, we can’t have any more of that. C’mon.”

You maneuvered Seungcheol around so his back was facing the bed now.

“Quit thinking about your ex and focus.”

“Believe me, I’m trying. I might need a little more help on your end.”

With the hint of encouragement in his voice, it seemed to shift you into a more domineering mood, cherry lips twisting into an undaunted grin while you let go of his hands.

“Of course. Even if it’s for a moment—“ All of a sudden, he felt a push to his chest and found himself falling to the bed before looking up at your salacious smile. “—I’ll make you forget all about her.”

©bangtanintotheroom, 2024. Crossposted to AO3. Do not repost to other sites or copy without permission.

[fuumiku]

They’re really interesting foils in many ways. I’ve always thought that Marcille & Mithrun have underrated dynamic potential. Give me the cringefail dungeon lords. Give me the elves with ears-centric metaphorical self-image issues. Give me the academic elites whose deepest strongest desires will always remain unreachable and the only option is to turn to the corrupt forbidden fruit of a demon pact. I am so so normal about Mithrun and Marcille

I wonder if the resemblance between captain Mithrun and general Hagreus aka Marcille’s fave in Dalclan is intentional… They definitely look very alike. It could represent idealization vs reality? Something something the romanticization of elves and their societal drama in their fiction vs a very real and imperfect product of their military system. The canaries certainly aren’t glamorous next to whatever Hagreus is the general of. I feel like she never had the opportunity to notice the resemblance herself bc within seconds of meeting him he was wrestling her on the ground but. If she had… She would so think he should have been his actor in the tallman stage play of Daltian Clan in that new extra comic hehe. I love the little details like Hagreus’ lips being drawn with extra details because they’re full and pretty while Mithrun’s lips are drawn with extra details because they’re chapped lmao.

This art is all silly and surface level but in my head mithrille is like so dramatic and I make up daltian clan level big plots with them gbdgd. I made a spotify playlist for mithrun if y’all interested, rn it’s mostly centered around cravings that consume and losing yourself and illusions inspired from his time as dungeon lord but it’s branching out. Varied vibes, levels of intensity and degrees of confusion and await you ✨ I would emotionally rant about Chainsaw Man ost lyrics and how they tie in with Mithrun and the winged lion’s relationship but this post is already a monster

I want more of these two please please please pleaseee just one or two interactions in the new canon content coming up… All they ever did was debate philosophy on desires and human self-fulfillment and try to murder each other, please… I never get to gush about them and I can’t shut up so if you want more thoughts I talk about them more below

To get a girl to peacefully accept arrest follow these simple steps: in private, ominously stand above her and forcefully interrogate her, while in public, tell her you’ve met before (untrue and also not a pickup line) and interrogate her with a thin veneer of decorum. If all else fails, threaten and follow through on said threat. My guy needs more than just physical therapy I’m afraid

Sorry if most of these were Marcille-centric with Mithrun standing there looking cool, if I were doing these more from Mithrun’s pov things would be like "She’s a bit much but I guess I don’t mind hanging around her." or "Oh you’re a half-elf? -insert elven supremacist rethoric-" or "I have to keep her from becoming demon stew." immediately followed by "Did someone say demon? Kill kill kill kill kill" since these are set prior to like really knowing another. Then things would be more like "huh she has bad tastes in novels but her magic research is pretty interesting" and "I’m lonely and don’t understand myself— Oh she loves talking about feelings? Oh shi-" That last one is an aspect of why I like Marcille and Mithrun’s potential dynamic lol. She’s very… Emotionally intelligent alongside being impulsive. You think you have no feelings because the world has beaten them out of you? Think again!! Marcille be upon ye! -In a therapy sort of way but mostly in a connecting with people and your own self through interpersonal relationships and talking kinda way. I just think a lively, upbeat, annoying friend way too interested in your personal life would do him good, the canaries are nice but like if Marcille went to prison and was a sort of extra new bunkmate I think that’d be interesting and fun to read is what I’m saying

Unlike Kabru she wants all the useless messy filler of his backstory, eating chips while listening. Like two chibi sets side by side, "me and my fellow canaries, name name and name-" "Hold on that’s too much info we have to compact this" vs "Then we were to sleep on the third floor of the dungeon, which had the look of a mausoleum, and name and name got into a fight over the campfire placement." while Marcille is like uh-huh what next what next while kicking her feet. She thinks of pre-dungeon pompous Mithrun and is like omg you went through a character arc and became better as a person- and then he opens his mouth and she’s like nevermind let’s keep working on that. She would also go "ew ur hair is greasy" and give him a full hair care treatment. What I’m saying is I need them to be forced to spend time in a dungeon together and become besties through a life or death roadtrip

Marcille is insecure about her ears, long, like an elf’s pride should be, but rounder, inelegant. Seeing Mithrun though, the epitome of beauty, with his half-cut ears make it a sillier thought. Not sure if Mithrun is the best person to reconnect with ur elven culture with but it sure is an option Marcille would so appreciate being around someone both cool headed and kind, I genuinely think they’d get along, like not that Senshi isn’t that too most of the time but I think Mithrun would be in a way that’s more refreshing to her. I’d be so curious about them discussing Dalclan, I doubt he’d have read it but she could make him read it, maybe post-canon with the excuse that they’re trying to find him a new hobby hah. He’d tear into the writing and everything but it’d be a fun time, I like to think that it’d make him a bit less prejudiced. Marcille @ Mithrun "👉👈 Soo maybe you don’t know these books they’re pretty recent having come out 50 years ago but…"

I’ve been in a Mithrun phase I want to make and read Mithrun-centric fics and angst so baaad. I razz him a lot here but he’s literally a traumatized military man that became obsessed with revenge due to bad coping and neglects himself in the process idk not much for him going on and some of it is because he has to work on himself, but hey no one’s perfect it all comes from a place of love and relating though I prommy. He’s the one ungodly angsty squeaky toy blorbo with brain damage rep I have don’t take him from me

[heavenangelly]

Hi!

I would like to ask for some advice. I’m on an SP journey, but it has been a rocky journey. he broke up with me in late jan as if he didn’t can’t wait to get away from me. in early feb, he was enraged that I didn’t want no contact cause I bothered him during his japan trip and he said there was no hope in getting back together anymore and he wouldn’t pick up my calls anymore. he hurriedly said all the best in life and that was our last convo. And we aren’t following each other on social medias anymore, but my flatmates are. afterwards, I was in a really bad head space where i couldn’t eat for a few days, but had to get myself together because i’m still in uni. I was then spamming myself on the law since mid Feb. I was gradually getting better, everyday trying to keep myself together and was doing good deleting social media. In May, my birthday month passed and he didn’t message me or anything even though i was affirming hard and persisting through my tears. I thought I was doing good in May but on early june, I found out thru my flatmate that he went to a yearly event with a 3p and took pictures like we did last year. Like a picture of their shadows together. This has haunted me and I got triggered badly and I had barely managed to get myself to affirming again thru the heart pain that he still belongs to me and that he will still always come back to me since. I cannot afford to falter and waver because i’m in my exam period.

However in May, i never thought he was with a 3p even though earlier on, i noticed he followed someone new on spotify (back when i was still constantly checking his socials like spotify tiktok profile pic and stuff but we weren’t following each other).

I don’t know how to believe with conviction that affirming myself that He is already mine and he only thinks of me regardless of who he’s with, bc I smh keep on intrusively think of the picture of them together as well as their shadow picture together. It’s haunting me and I don’t know how to have faith in the law fully and that he will actually come knocking on my door telling me he still loves me.

we only last talked in late jan, but he seemed to have gone raves and other events with 3p already. And she looks completely different from me and I had a thought that he wanted to look for someone different so he cldnt think of me.

I don’t know how to remind myself of my power that i can create my own reality when something like this happened in 3d while i thought he was busy thinking about me…

I hope you could give me some advice because I don’t want to keep getting triggered whenever i hear the name of the event. I feel my heart breaking while I hear about the event even when i’m affirming to myself that He’s mine and he’s only going to miss me more. But it feels like i’m stuck and powerless… I want this to be a success story and i hope you could help me. I really appreciate it.

Start with imagining. Imagine that sp isn’t actually happy with the 3p and is wishing that he would be with you again. Imagine how he craves you and is in complete regret of letting you go. Now imagine that everyday he wishes you were his again. Then decide he messaged you/met up w u and wants to be YOURS again. Imagine that he is dedicated and loyal. Feel the reality of the scenes and accept them in imagination. Now you have a success story and it is true. Go on in the 3d without stalking his social media and if that image pops up in your head, imagine it was urs and his. Operate in the 3d while knowing that you are in a relationship with him and do not accept no for an answer. You are actually in a relationship with him (since it’s in imagination and imagination creates). Do not let the 3d put you in lack when it is your mirror. Go past it and decide what you want and remain faithful to it because it makes you feel good and you actually want to. Just lose yourself in the feeling, feel its truth and persist in the assumption he’s yours again. Do not identify with the past you where he has a 3p and isn’t with you. That is now a memory/the past.

[aita-polls]

AITA for ghosting my lifelong friend? Part 1. (so sorry for sending multiple asks, tumblr can't process the length! it's a convoluted story. TL:DR; will be at the end.)

I (25, he/him) have/had a friend (25, they/them/he) who I grew up with, and I've always considered us to be close. Upon further inspection, I think I just have never had enough friends to know what actually counts as "close". We've gone whole years without speaking to or seeing each other and even toward the end of our childhood we were never each other's best friends or first choices. We also had a bit of unpleasantness between us when I first came out as trans but we were pretty young then, so it isn't something I still hold against them, though it did impact my desire to be friends with them at the time. My point is that I think we just happen to be each other's oldest friends. They've always been a bit dishonest but in recent years they have gained some notoriety as an artist and it has gone to their head. For the past year or so they have been faking schizophrenia. It's pretty clear that they're faking it because they are pretty ignorant about the disorder, so they often confuse/conflate symptoms of other disorders like bipolar and CPTSD. I never knew how to bring this up without being harsh, because sometimes there actually is some kind of mental illness going on anyway when someone lies this much about their life, and I didn't want to just shit on them for being mentally ill. Recently it has escalated, though, to the point that they are faking multiple other conditions, disabilities, and even traumas, in a way that is incredibly disrespectful and insulting. One particularly bad example of this that got me really rethinking our friendship was when they were escorted out of a nightclub by the forearm by a security guard for berating staff members (they were asked to leave as the club is a women's-only space). They described this event on social media as a r*pe, and named the bar and the owner publicly to their thousands of followers. A few of our mutual friends reached out with questions (they have a history of pretending to be a trans woman in certain situations, so it's worth asking), but they publicly called out and insulted those people as well, calling them manipulators, classists, ableists, abusers, etc.

**Alt img descriptions were used but parts two + three are posted under the cut in plain text in case this format is more helpful for anybody

ghosted my lifelong friend Part 2-

About 3 months ago they started to drop hints that they believed they may have DID and they are already faking full conversations with 8 - 10 supposedly co-conscious alters. They make Spotify playlists, outfit plans, drink recipes, etc. for these "alters" (all of which suit their personal tastes and rarely vary- if you know much about DID you likely know that it's a big red flag when someone's alleged alters are extremely similar to each other and to the host). They have also recently been pretending to have gone deaf and blind (not hard of hearing and visually impaired, but deaf and blind), over the span of the last 2 months or so. It is possible to go totally deaf and blind fairly quickly, but they claim to have learned sign language fluently and retaught themself visual art and ballet without sight or hearing in that same timeframe. I know that schizophrenic people can experience somatic hallucinations that cause them to believe that they are permanently losing their olfactory senses, but these people actually can't process sounds or visuals normally while they're having these hallucinations, and so it doesn't really involve any level of intentional dishonesty on their part. It's one thing to experience temporary, hallucinatory deafness, and a totally separate thing to film, edit, and post multiple videos of yourself blatantly pretending to speak sign language on social media. I mean this is such a low-effort fake that it's not hard to debunk at all; for instance the sign for multiple words is apparently just the letter R. (Again, I have noticed this so easily because I personally speak sign language, so l am aware that some uncommon words and proper nouns are spelled out and not represented by a single sign, but as an example, the phrase "I'm on the train right now" doesn't have 5 Rs in it regardless). The final straw was when earlier this week they claimed that someone attempted to break in to their vacation home. For even more background they have also recently started to claim that they have a stalker, a specific woman who they know personally who they are supposedly currently travelling cross-country to avoid. (The real story is that they are fleeing relationship drama, but l digress). Over the previous few days they had made several posts intentionally leaving behind details about their location- mentioning the name of the neighbourhood they were visiting, dropping bits and pieces of their travel schedule, posting photos and videos near the front of the home they were staying at, etc. It was all vague enough that you'd have to work very hard to decipher their actual (remote, rural) location from it, but specific enough that it could be plausible that an extreme stalker might be willing to. This is extremely strange behaviour from someone who is supposedly fleeing an obsessive stalker, but whatever.

lifelong friend story Part 3 (final part, I hope.)

Their story about the break-in was originally that their alleged stalker had flown thousands of miles to try and break in, but when no one was buying that they started to claim that they "weren't sure" who it was because they "can't see". When this made even more people see through the lie, they changed their story again, claiming that they were "pretty sure that someone tried to break in" but didn't know for sure, and that they also believed the person in question "might" have touched them inappropriately if they had been there and had broken in. This, to me, was obviously them both trying to avoid making a statement that was too simple to debunk and to make people feel uncomfortable asking more questions by including an element of assault. There are more instances of specific lies, and some of these and other lies are suspiciously similar to my own life story, if I might avoid specifying to keep my anonymity relatively intact. Everyone else who has tried to call them on this has had a hate mob sent their way, and I didn't want to give them the chance to shit on me for noticing their dishonesty, especially when they're stealing half the stories from me directly, so I just gave up in the end and blocked them everywhere. I figured the total lack of respect from their end justified me preserving my mental health as much as I could. The fact that they are so blatantly, regularly and severely lying about subjects that they are aware I'm personally knowledgeable on is insulting, yes. But it's also dangerous for someone who is totally ignorant to the disorders they claim to have to be positioning themselves as an expert to people who may not know any better. They've lost a lot of friends and followers over this behaviour, yes, but they still have a following of a few thousand people and if they haven't seen through it by now I wonder if they ever will. They need desperately to get off social media so they can stop acting out for attention and just spend some time on figuring out why they feel such an overwhelming need to lie all the time. Also, if it helps understand the why a bit better, this person is rather wealthy and grew up that way as well, and I believe that they have always felt inadequate and "uncool" in comparison to people with harder lives. Since becoming an artist they have started to lie more and more to fit in with a crowd they see as more worldly and experienced. Having grown up poor and in an extremely neglectful home enviroment is another thing they frequently lie about. To reiterate this behaviour has been escalating rapidly for the past two or three months, this has mostly all happened between September 28 and now and it's only a portion of the full scale of the stories. Maybe if I hadn't consistently gotten so much less effort back than I put in during our relationship, I might have tried harder, but I can't keep dealing with this for my own health, and I don't want to have a hate mob on my ass either. I also frankly don't want to be publicly associated with this person. My best bet, I feel, is to just disappear and be impossible to find again. AlTA?

TL:DR; I believe that my “microcelebrity" friend has been faking deafness, blindness, DID, schizophrenia, and other serious issues for personal and professional gain for months, and publicly attacking anyone who questions them on it. I got fed up and ghosted completely in the hopes of avoiding a similar fate.

[nobodyimportant41]

Bo Burnham's legacy challenge

(God, wth im writing)

Ehm- yeah...i was looking inspo for another legacy challenge on my spotify when i realized that i basically only hear Argentinan or Uruguayan music...and i'm pretty sure that here not many people known them- So i decided to go for Bo's songs!

And yeah, if you for some reason think about it, it was also inspired by "Perspective of god" ("you're not my children, you're a bad game of sims")

WARNING:

If you heard Bo's songs, you will know that there are some "spicy" or not kid friendly topics, so, if you're under 18 or sensitive, you may not read this one.

General rules:

Heirs don't have to ressemble their song with their name, but you can do it if you want

No cheats unless it for storytelling purposes

You can play in any lifespan, but i recommend playing it in normal

The order of the generations is for storytelling purposes, not their release order

If you don't have a certain pack, you can change some goals for the most similar

Packs:

Ep: Be famous (gen 1,2,7 and 8), Highschool years (gen 2), Cats and dogs (gen 6), City living (gen 7 and 10/2), Get together (gen 7), Snowy escape (gen 10/1)

Gp:Parenthood (gen 3)

Sp: Movie night stuff (gen 8), paranormal (gen 5)

Gen 1; Repeat stuff:

Story:You were always good looking,so, you grew up without problems since everything was made from others for you! But, as an adult you realize that because you didn't did anything, you don't KNOW anything... so you decide to go for a singer way! The only thing that matters is that your hot, right?

Traits:

Self centred

Lazy

Music lover

Goals:

Complete the musical genius aspiration

Max the entertainment career (musician branch)

Max the piano and singing skills

Leave someone at the altar

Record at least 5 romantic songs

Woohoo with the grim reaper at least once

Gen 2; white woman's instagram:

Story: Being the kid of one of the most famous singers in the simnation, OF COURSE that you wanted to follow that path of having a "perfect life!" After all, the only hard part will be convince your spouse to take some selfies with you...

Traits:

Self centred

Mean

High mantience

Goals:

Complete the world famous celebrity aspiration

Become a simfluencer

Max the photography and charisma skills

Marry someone you hate

Use social media at least once a day

Gen 3; 1985:

Story:Your parents didn't loved eachother, but your parent's (gen 2) followers thought the exact opposite. Thats why you always preferred your other parent since they were a lot more honest; maybe too much..

As a young adult, your biggest dream is having kids and mostly, educate them!

Traits:

Family oriented

Perfeccionist

Neat

Goals:

Complete the super parent aspiration

Max the parenting and cooking skill

Be a stay at home parent

Have at least 3 kids and became friends with all of them

Only use the strict options to disipline your kids

Gen 4; Lower your expectations:

Story: Your parent always told you that you weren't able to date until they passed away which were very tragic news for you; How are you getting married with that?! At least when you were a kid, you had to only conform with writing romance books... but as a rebelious teen, you thought of dating your crush, it was only a little secret that will never be revealed, right?...

Traits:

Romantic

Creative

High maintenance

Goals:

Complete the soulmate aspiration

Max the charisma and writing skills

Work as a freelance writer

Have at least 5 partners, but break up with all of them, since they aren't perfect like you would like

Get married and see your first spouse die

Marry your soulmate as an elder

Gen 5;K!ll yours3lf:

Story: Your parent always told you about how "bad" their partners were, so you started thinking that people were cruel by nature (except for you, or at least that was what you said) so you started reading about occults and you REALLY liked it! You even decided that, for when you were an adult, you will EVEN interact with people! Not because you liked them, but because you wanted to ghosthunt in people's houses!

Traits:

Loner

Mean

Erratic

Goals:

Complete the master of mischief aspiration

Max the paranormal and mischief skills

Work as a paranormal investigator

Live your whole life in a haunted house

Your only friend AND spouse must be a ghost

Live as a ghost after passing away

Gen 6; Poems:

Story: Since you were a young kid you knew your social life was quite dead since you were born because, well...one of your parents is a ghost and the other one is a freak who LOVES ghost... yeah..you knew that having friends was way too hard so you didn't even tried it; all you needed was a dog and a computer to write your... VERY original poems...

Traits:

Socially akward

Dog lover

Slob

Goals:

Complete the best seller author aspiration

Max the writing and pet training skills

Max the writer career (any branch)

When you unlock the option, ONLY write poems

Have at least two dogs

Gen 7; Welcome to the internet:

Story: You knew that you were considered a weird one, but, unlike your parent, you REALLY WANTED to be famous, so you decided that, as soon as you were able to, create a simtube account and upload your FANTASTIC vlogs about your amazing life and someday, show your classmates that you were an spectacular and perfect sim!

Traits:

Self centred

Outgoing

Goofball

Goals:

Complete the leader of the pack aspiration

Max the tech guru career (Esports player branch)

Max the video making and charisma skills

Have a celebrity club

Become at least a three stars celebrity

When you moved out of your house, never talk with your parent/s never again

Gen 8; Microwave popcorn:

Story: When you were a kid, you spend most of your time watching movies with popcorn in your hands. You couldn't help it but love it! After all, cooking and mostly acting were two thing that you loved!

As an adult, you could finally enter the acting career! It was thanks to your parents fame.. but you still wanted to become the next Judith Ward!

Traits:

Glutton

Ambicious

Slob

Goals:

Complete the master actor/actress aspiration

Max the acting career

Max the singing and acting skills

Gain the junk food lifestyle

Win at least three awards for your job

Gen 9; Whats funny:

(This is quite inspired by the pink gen of the Not so Berry challenge, so this gen is not 100% original!)

Story: You grew up in a quite conservative household, so you wanted to get married to a nice person and have beautiful children; you didn't cared about your job, you could work in a simple 9-5 office work to maintain them! Except, EVERYTHING went wrong, you ended up fighting everyday with your spouse, your kids were ungrateful and only cared about their partners and you didn't even cared anymore for your job, maybe you could try pursue your dream?

Traits:

Family oriented

Perfeccionist

Goofball

Goals:

Complete the jokestar aspiration

Work in the bussiness career but quit it after having your midlife crisis and then max the entertainment career (comedian branch)

Max the comedy skill

Get married and have twins

Max your relationship both of your kids

Gen 10; Left brain, Right brain:

Ok, to make this challenge more "special" i decided to do something quite weird; there are two "branches" of the last gen, in other words; you can choose if you want to play with the left brain or the right brain! (Or both, if you hate yourself)

Gen 10/1; Left brain:

Story: You always thought that your twin was quite a dumb one; they just wanted to play and watch hot people on tv all day! You wanted to be one in life, but there was so many things you wanted to do...but you will fight to have a family and a great job! You decided to move to Mt. Komorebi for your job; a salary person! Since you will LOVE to become a CEO! and also karaoke nights...

Traits:

Perfeccionist

Materialist

Genius

Goals:

Complete the fabulously wealthy aspiration

Max the salary person career

Max the singing and logic skills

Have at least one kid with all the positive character values

Marry someone in the following careers: Salary person, politician or business career

Gen 10/2;Right brain:

Story: You always thought that your twin was super cool! You didn't share much with them, but you admire how smart they were and mostly, they knew what they wanted while you...ehm...you only knew you wanted to become everybody's friend, but you didn't even know what you were going to work as...but you will figure it out!

Traits:

Childish

Romantic

Art lover

Goals:

Complete the city native aspiration

Work selling your paintings at home until becoming an adult and max the painter career (any branch)

Max the painting and charisma skills

Have max relationship with at least 5 persons (excluding your family) and become best friends with your twin

Have twins...twice

[geddy-leesbian]

(screenshot because I accidentally hit post while trying to copy paste something and had to delete it oops)

GOD THE LEON ONE IS SO FUCKED UP CHSBSNALFLF

first off, the timeline is different than the actual game. Luis is able to get some suppressant for Leon before any shit gets burned.

Luis gets captured again, and taken to Saddler. He had injected all the suppressants he had with him just before getting carried off, so Saddler couldn't re-infect him. But it turns out that isn't even Saddler's plan.

“That Agent Kennedy is proving to be quite a thorn in my side, much like you. I need him to live long enough for him to appreciate his gift and go home to spread it to the rest of the world, but he's starting to cause too much trouble. You like him, don't you?” “This isn't about him. Say whatever you want about me, but keep his name out of your mouth.” “But you'll want to hear this. He's quite fond of you. He doesn't want to admit it, but I've been in his head. He likes it when you tease him. He trusts you. You could send him on wild goose chases over and over, and he'd keep following you until time ran out.” “No. Never.” “It doesn't have to just be wild goose chases. Doesn't he owe you a dance? If you were to tell him that he had more time than expected, that he needed a break to relax before moving on, he would listen.” “You really think that I'm that selfish? That I'm willing to trade his life for mine? That I'm willing to trade his life for a dance?”

“Do you really think that you're not? You already chose your life over his. He doesn't have any suppressant. You used all of it on yourself, just so that you couldn't be re-infected. If you were willing to die for him, that was the time. Had you left all of it behind and accepted your own fate, he would have enough time to escape with his life and mind intact.”

Then he gets handed over to Krauser, who is pissy and a lot less concerned about Leon staying alive. So he gives him an ear piece, puts a tracker on him, chains him up again somewhere and says that he can either call Leon to come rescue him and Leon won't get hurt, or Krauser will abandon Saddler's plan and use Luis as the bait in a trap for Leon. (And ofc beyond that point he says he'll kill Leon if Luis isn't cooperating with the plan, and brags about being the one who taught Leon everything to the extent that Luis is actually worried.)

Luis just plays along, thinking that he'll be able to outsmart Krauser and somehow get Leon to the machine. Then Krauser sends him some pictures: His machine completely smashed, as well as everything being set on fire. It's 100% impossible to save Leon, and he breaks down sobbing and admits everything.

Leon's already made peace with the fact that it was a matter of when, not if, he'll die on a mission, so he's pretty chill about the whole thing and just asks Luis to kill him before his infection gets too bad 🙃

-

DON'T WALK AWAY is angsty but not that fucked up. it all started one night when I was listening to one of my many Serrennedy playlists, and forgot to loop it so after the last song spotify decides to autoplay Don't Walk Away. a song that I had never had any strong feelings about. but then I realized I'm a Fool because it is so Serrennedy and I've been sleeping on it

I know just what you're doing. You don't want to put the hurt on someone. You've been trying to convince yourself you're better off if you just turn and run.

But I'm gonna hold on tight. I've got a feeling you'll only happen once to me. And no one, not even you, is ever gonna make you wrong for me.

Don't walk away! Or are you looking for a price to pay? Is that your master plan? Don't walk away! I'll do everything to make you stay. I've got to make a stand. Don't walk away! I'm not afraid. Don't walk away!

so yeah the fic is just right after RE4 when Leon and Ashley are waiting to get picked up, and Luis is trying to slip away because he thinks he's a shitty person who doesn't deserve Leon, and Leon's like fuck that you're coming with me

[daz4i]

actually i AM gonna post abt this again. sorry

like when i say they make me feel like i'm in a story. i mean it

we started talking and immediately clicked. talked nonstop for days really

we both had relationships like that years before, but then paused that behavior bc we were young and it wasn't the healthiest, but now we were adults and knew better. it was the first one after that break for both of us

i avoided this behavior for awhile bc i knew it's not the healthiest but it felt so good when it happened. i (rightfully) feared the crash but at the time, the high was so worth it. and everything was going so smoothly too. things kept aligning just right all the time

every time i thought something is gonna come up or that i did something wrong and now it's all gonna blow up, they proved that i had no reason to worry, bc they let it slide immediately, even liked it

we kind of completed each other in every way. liked the same things and had a lot in common, but were opposites in enough things that we weren't TOO similar

i stopped worrying abt annoying them relatively early into the whole thing (usually it takes me months or even years, or i never stop at all. here it was maybe 2-3 weeks)

we became actually close right on their birthday. a small thing but you gotta admit if this was a story it'd be poetic as hell

every time they had a problem and i jokingly said i'm sending a spell their way to fix it, it passed after like 2 minutes. absolutely insane coincidence stuff

i mentioned this before. and this is gonna be embarrassing but. we met through, well, kin stuff lol. they kin chuuya, i kin dazai, we joked abt kindating etc. anyway my mental health was shit but they genuinely uplifted me a lot. they made me want to live for the first time in who knows how long, maybe ever. i think you can tell why i prefaced this story with that fact 🥲 embarrassing but real

and now this shit? 😭 another small thing but like. i make a post abt them bc now is generally around the time we started talking, and someone i follow queued a post from their blog and it posts right now?? they've been decativated for nearly a year HOW did this line up like that 😭

they unfortunately made me believe in the concept of soulmates :/ but as my friends (and mom. bc she saw me cry over the whole thing for days) said. if they cut me off and hurt me like that, they weren't ~the one~

and another thing that made me feel more like i'm in a teen movie is. i legit spent a day and a half in bed crying and barely doing anything else, after they cut me off. truly cliche stuff. actually that's a good way to put it - they made me feel like a cliche. still do when i think abt it a year later. it was a good thing at first, bad when it ended. i could make a movie abt this barely changing any detail and it'll be an average teen romantic comedy (except i'll have to add some happy ending there)

anyway let me finish all that by saying. who the fuck blocks someone on spotify 😭 dude...

(it's been a year and i got burned so badly from this whole thing that i seriously doubt i'll be able to love someone this much again. i need it to be an instant obsession to actually feel good about love, but i'll never be able to confidently go into any new relationship with that purpose because i'm just too scared things will hurt this much again. it's honestly so depressing lol 🥲 but what can ya do)

(i also became the most suicidal i've ever been since lol. probably bc of how big the drop was. it still hasn't gone away. part of why i see no point in life is bc of that previous paragraph. so.)

[zeb-z]

Umm for the spotify wrapped thing, my lucky number 5?? For like a qsmp character ideally, if you want to ramble about an au u can >:3

send me a number 1-100 for a song and prompt!

Thank you for the ask! :3 I wanted to do something for Bad, because currently he is suffering the consequences of his actions now, but couldn’t quite write smth to fit the vibe of the song, yknow? So how about a bit of Quackity, and a mention of Tilin, in my Star Wars AU?

5 - Consequences - Lovejoy

Quackity’s pulse races in his ears as the cantina door slides open, revealing the Imperial officer he had bumped into an hour before.

He quickly looks back down to his drink, tugging his hood further in front of his face, and makes a point to study the way the condensation fogs up the crystalline glass. Maybe if he ignores him hard enough, through the pure please don’t-notice-me vibes he’s putting out, and the will of the goddamn force, he won’t see him. Like when you close your eyes during hide and seek, and no one else can see you, right?

A hand, calloused and heavy, falls on his shoulder. Shit.

“Come with me, son,” a voice says in his ear, that same thick drawl Quackity had pointedly ignored an hour earlier. “We don’t gotta make a scene.”

There’s a moment of silence, a single moment full of too many options and subsequent consequences, to possibly run through each choice in his head.

He doesn’t want to follow anymore than he had in the first place, when the officer had stopped him, read him out his full government name, and asked if they could chat a while. He doesn’t want to get taken like he knows others have been, behind the doors of that concrete ISB building, to never be seen again. He doesn’t want this Empire loving freak breathing heavy down his neck, holding him down with an oppressive hand.

Ah fuck it, he’s a dead man walking, anyway.

Quackity grabs the officers hand at the same time he stands up, elbowing back with his opposite arm right into the man’s nose. His vision starts to swim with the sudden motion, and he blinks furiously, but somehow still manages to slip out of the Imperial’s grip. He doesn’t stop moving - he can’t - stumbling from there straight to the door and out into the air of Coruscant.

Fuck, he’s not sober enough for this.

He picks a direction and runs, ignoring the shouts behind him. Neon lights blur, the noise of night life and smell of metal and booze only serving to make him nauseous. Adrenaline keeps him moving, past a startled patrol of troopers who barely miss grabbing him, into a maze of side roads and alleys, where he hopes to lose them.

He somehow manages to make it to the hovertrain station, jumping through the doors right as they start to slide closed. His shoulder collides against the opposite wall, hard, and he crumples to the ground.

He groans, hardly noticing the startled looks of the other passengers as he curls up and closes his eyes.

He knew he should have been more careful. Should have found someone better than him to cover his tracks when he had gone snooping. Should have kept a level head when he had found Tilin’s file in the ISB’s records, with a terrifying amount of information locked behind far more secure firewalls. Instead he had panicked, and gone out to drown his sorrows. Their blacked out photo swims behind his eyelids, red bow just peeking out above the box. Classified, classified, classified-

The hovertrain jolts to a stop, and Quackity’s stomach jumps into the back of his throat.

As soon as he felt less like throwing up all over the grimy floors of Coruscant public transportation, he’d figure it out.

[charfletchh]

CALLING TOO MUCH, YOU'RE BREAKING MY PHONE. MAD WHEN YOU DO AND SAD WHEN YOU DON'T.

{ VALENTINA ZENERE, 22, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER } Is that CHARLOTTE FLETCHER? A SENIOR originally from BOSTON, MASS. they decided to come to Ogden College to study COMPUTER SCIENCE. They’re THE FEMME FATALE on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance. 

pinterest/spotify

BASICS:

full name: charlotte "charlie" elizabeth fletcher

age: 23

date of birth: oct. 28, 1999

zodiac sign: scorpio

hometown: boston, mass

gender: cis female

sexuality: pansexual

RELATIONSHIPS:

father: charles fletcher- disconnected, strict, but present. a lawyer of some kind, she doesn't really care what he does.

mother: mary brandt, formerly fletcher, formerly morales. charlie doesn't know where she is and she really doesn't care.

siblings: two younger brothersPERSONALITY:

positive qualities: generous, charismatic, supportive, nonjudgemental

negative qualities: apathetic, entitled, condescending

skills: just skating by in school, bringing the party, getting what she wants

character parallels: samantha jones (satc), serena van der woodsen (gossip girl), jackie burkhart (that 70's show), michelle richardson (skins), hailey dunphey (modern family), edie britt (desperate housewives)

relationship to greer: many thought that charlie was jealous of greer, and that was probably true in the way all women were jealous of a woman like greer. but that wasn’t it, really- charlie would have never traded her own life for greer’s golden cage. she loved her friend. but something about her dug under charlie’s skin. it could have been the glass-like skin, the goody two-shoes act, the way people looked at charlie’s chest when she talked and greer’s eyes when she did. whatever it was, she often found herself in a bad mood when they were together and would pick apart the smallest things she did. they were famous for their fights, frequently heard screaming at each other through the walls over a boy who had followed them both on instagram or a backhanded comment made two days prior about someone’s shoes. no one incensed her like greer did; the only thing more fun than fighting with her was making up with her.

school activities: volleyball (because her father made her join a sport in high school and she likes the shorts- she plays outside), kappa kappa gamma (for clout and because she looks fantastic in letters), and the robotics society (because she should probably get a job someday and she was told winning a robotics competition looked good to FAANG).

WANTED CONNECTIONS

the rolodex: her reputation is well-earned, and she wouldn't want to fail to live up to it. she's messed around with half of campus. open to any kind of FWB/one night stand/potential relationship connections!!

the chase: i think it would be funny if there was one person she was really into and they wanted nothing to do with her. or maybe the other way around!

the heartbroken: while many of her trysts end with a mutually agreed upon separation (or a separation she makes you think was your idea), inevitably, things get ugly. you have to break a few eggs to make an omelette.

charlie's angels: in greer's absense, charlie is taking advantage of the power gap to cultivate her own following. she's hand-selected a few dear friends to join her inner circle.

study buddies: "why doesn't anyone think i'm smart?" she says as she googles "do i need to pay taxes". she is good at what she does though and enjoys programming. would love to have a few other STEM connections so she can elle woods in Intro to Machine Learning.

mom friend: charlie is a wreck herself so when someone's coming to her for advice, shit must be really bad. she's always good for a cigarette and some good, if not always easy to hear, advice.

yuck!: charlie doesn't have a problem catching feelings, she just can't sustain them. so why hasn't she gotten the ick yet from someone she'd thought was just a one night stand?

i am literally down for anything though so if you have any wcs my girliepop can fill let me know!! she's unhinged i would love some unhinged plots

OTHER HCS:

i think the funniest thing in the world would be someone calling her chuck like i can't get it out of my head. if our muses r close pls call her chuck.

she's a big reader but mainly of books with insane female main characters. huge fan of Boy Parts, A Certain Hunger, My Year of Rest and Relaxation, ect.

she is not a "clean girl". she is a feral girl. she always has last night's mascara under her eyes and never makes her bed. she pays to have her laundry sent out not really because she's lazy but because she lets it pile up for like 3 weeks at a time and then has no underwear.

she was some kind of senior mentor/orientation leader/tour guide and she absolutely terrified the freshmen. i think she likes to mentor.

yes, she pulls because she's confident and confidence is sexy, but she also pulls because she's a little goofy.

her favorite moment in history is stevie nicks making lindsay buckingham sing backup on silver springs. she can only dream to have that much power over a man one day.

she's one of those girls who always thinks she should start a podcast.

she's anti-weed but pro-coke

big charli xcx girl

[osaka-lilac]

i'm late i'm late!! but iris, dahlia, and plumeria?<3 ily

jd you’re never too late i love you so much ty ty ty <3333

iris - would you describe yourself as a sensitive person? why or why not?

i’m 10000000% a sensitive person. it’s both my biggest strength and my weakness. i’m very in tune with others and can often like. just tell that something ain’t right. i like to describe myself as an empath pretty much. and i often find myself as the “parent” of the groups i am a part of. but like. i also take things very close to heart and often find myself really hurt by the simplest of jokes at my expense. part of my brain doesn’t understand why you’d make fun of someone and like. make a joke about someone right in front of them? and that when you do that with no barrier there, there’s gotta be some truth to it right? if they believe it so much that they’ll say it to your face it’s gotta be true? so yea i’m very sensitive but. often to a fault

dahlia - do you like to follow current fashion trends or do you have a style that you prefer to stick to?

so my body type does not really lend itself well to current fashion trends especially in the us. it’s about slender waists and flat tummies here but me? when i say i’m non-passing as a man, i REALLY mean it. i got wide fucking hips and a tummy!!! (my ex loved it but like now that he’s not around it’s sometimes tough for me to like it.) like going shopping at the mall sucks cause i’ll unfold a cool shirt and it’s a fucking crop top. like i don’t need or want to wear that.

so i have a neutral style that i like. graphic tees but like. cool ones like my ferrari tan puma shirt and my knock off indy 500 shirt i got from rue 21 and not like the ones that just say dr pepper on em for fun. i’ve got two flannels with pins on em that i got from my dad that i often wear in the fall or if i’m going out. skinny jeans and flat-bottomed shoes are my go to, and i find myself wearing baseball caps a lot more this summer. i’m also chest binding every day with that so i try to go the fall androgynous hipster look. i’ve also got this small moonstone necklace that my mom got me that i wear every day, and a metal ring i got over a year ago online that is wearing out bad but i still love it. it’s a small spread of playing cards with very small red jewels in them. it was cheap but it’s my favorite accessory i own.

plumeria - are you working on any creative projects? if so, what kinds?

i went to college for animation for two years and i’ve kinda finally decided i’m taking a gap year to maybe figure out if something else is right for me. part of it was the fact i got so burnt out that i stopped going to my classes for a few weeks out of fear of going and not being able to to anything. so right now i’m trying to get back into it by slowly drawing and posting sketch pages of people and things i like so that i can stay in touch with my more creative side and not lose that passion of mine completely. i do stuff with drivers or stuff from my own life. (lots of stuff from my nature walks usually.) nothing big or too overwhelming, but it truly makes me happy.

(also depending on what you consider creative projects i also make mixtapes on spotify for fun and i love them. you can see them here)

send flower asks <3

[theflyingfeeling]

I was so excited about UMK this year but now that all the songs are out I'm so disappointed and I need to process this somehow, so...below the cut is my (cynic) review of the songs this year, I wrote this for me but you may look ✨

Keira: No Business on the Dancefloor

I hadn't heard of her before, so I had no idea what to expect. She sings well, but there's nothing too special in the song. Songs similar to this advance to the ESC final every year, but I don't think this one's interesting enough to do that. (Also, I'm scared to even ask but can someone explain the line "swing it like Harry Potter" to me? I haven't read the books nor seen the movies, what did he ever swing? His broom? His peepee? lol)

Benjamin: Hoida mut

I don't know, man... There are songs that imply sexual content without being explicitly sexual that do it better than this one. The lyrics sound immature, in parts (maybe less so in the English translation), and I'm not a fan of how some of the words are stressed/emphasized. Not a huge fan of Benjamin's singing voice either, and he is definitely the weakest singer in the whole bunch.

Robin Packalen: Girls Like You

Robin was the very reason why I was so excited about UMK this year and, consequently, the reason why I'm so disappointed in this year's competition overall. I had such grand expectations for him, perhaps unreasonably so; I just really wanted him to have a great song and be sent to ESC and do well there 😔 However, having listened to the song on Spotify (i.e. without the mv), I have to say that the song isn't terrible. It's actually quite catchy and uptempo, and in my opinion the vibe in the music video doesn't quite match the vibe of the song. So IF they manage to compile a live show that brings out the good qualities of the song (because there are some!) and IF/when Robin's voice brings the song into life in the live version (because it certainly doesn't do so in the studio version), I think we MIGHT be able to ignore the weaknesses of the song (such as the tacky lyrics; then again, there have been and will be songs with even worse lyrics in the ESC every year, this one wouldn't even be the worst eh?)

Lxandra: Something to Lose

Not memorable at all (I couldn't even recall the name of this song without checking it). Really not my kind of music, not a fan of that kind of singing technique at all. If you're gonna do a ballad in the ESC, it needs to be bigger and stronger than this one.

Käärijä: Cha Cha Cha

Without having seen the live show for this, I must admit I'm also one of those people who are ready to send this to Liverpool. That is not to say I love the song, although it is the only one that evokes any kind of (positive) feelings in me. I don't know, maybe I feel pretentious jamming along to this song because I don't go to bars safe for Samy Elbanna acoustic gigs and BC tumblr meetings and I've never been drunk in my life? 😂 Still, it was the first song that I nodded my head along to and that brought a smile to my face (for some reason the line "toinen silmä jo karsastaa" / "one eye keeps turning crossed too far" always cracks me up). I'm just a little annoyed because people (mostly at the Finnish eurovision discussion board I've been reading) keep praising this song to the extent that I think it's a little over the top, saying stuff like "this is the best UMK song ever!!" and "this is the new Lordi!!" but like...it's not?! Or is it me who's in the wrong here? 😟 I don't know, maybe I should just lower my expectations and accept that I'm not gonna get another "Dark Side" out of UMK any time soon...

KUUMAA: Ylivoimainen

Another song that is praised a lot and I'm not quite sure why. Again, it's not a bad song, but something in it just feels...off. I think it's partly because I'm not a huge fan of Johannes' vocals/singing voice, but also because of the lyrics. I understand it's about the ecstasy one feels when falling in love, (and I want you to know that I'm saying the following even though I know y'all think I'm crazy) but instead of romantic, the lyrics seem sort of...obsessive? Every single line in the song is so desperate to the point that it makes me feel a little anxious. Yes, I also understand that song lyrics and poetry tend to exaggerate things and that none of this is to be taken literally, but even so, it doesn't evoke the feelings in me that it's probably intented to. If someone told me that "there's nothing left for me but you" I wouldn't feel enamored, I'd feel...sad? Because what if a day comes that we break up and you don't have me anymore, then what? You'll jump down the balcony? I don't want to be the only thing that's left for you, come on, there's gotta be something else in your life too, I can't handle this pressure! And with the sort of melancholic, yet upbeat melody of the song it feels kinda distressing and I almost feel like I can't breath when I listen to it. Then again, I've never been in love myself, so what the fuck do I know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Portion Boys: Samaa taivasta katsotaan

Well 😂😂😂😂😂 In Finland we have this thing called junttidisco, and this is it. I have good reason to believe their other songs are like this too (I've only ever heard two of them), so what the hell were you expecting? 🤣 This is the only song that made me really laugh out loud (with Käärijä it was more like a sensible chuckle), but not necessarily in a good way. The lyrics in the verses are so cringe, although I did love the bit in the chorus about Kimi Räikkönen 😂 The worst part is that I'm not sure whether this is intented as a parody or if they're actually serious about this. I want to believe it's done tongue in cheek, in which case I appreciate them not taking themselves too seriously.

~

To conclude, I don't really give a fuck who will advance to Liverpool, but I guess if we absolutely must send one, then let it be Käärijä, assuming his live show will be fit for ESC. And despite having a horribly boring, mainstream, flavourless song, I still want to put Robin as my 2nd favourite, because I want to believe the live version of the song will be much better than the studio version 🙏

[bellmo15-blog]

The Internet. It's Not Fun.

This isn’t going to be a happy post. In fact, this is a vent post about something I’ve wanted to get of my chest for a while now. The internet.

I’m going to be honest, outside of chatting with friends, these past two weeks I’ve been coming onto my computer to browse the internet, or I guess rather social media, less and less. Twitter I’ve been trying to stay off the most only really logging onto that site to either check my DM’s since at the time of me writing this I’m getting a commission worked on for me by someone on Twitter or to like something someone sent to me on Discord but never really scrolling thought my feed, Youtube I’m only using for guides for games or to listen to music that’s not on Spotify, the only sites I haven’t changed how I use recently have been Newgrouds, DeviantArt, Furafinity and Tumbler for catching up on art by artists I follow. Then it's usually straight to hopping of and playing some video games or doing whatever I need to in real life and not coming back on for a long while, sometimes not even until the next day. I mean I still occasionally make posts to Twitter but never scroll though it.

And there is kind of a reason why I’ve been feeling less and less motivated to browse the internet as much as I use to. Because I REALLY do not have the best opinion on this platform and I feel like I’ve made that pretty obvious in the past. And this isn’t me saying “Oh, the internet use to be good in my day but now it’s awful” like I have some rose tinted glasses on or anything. No no, I am fully aware that the internet has always been a bit of a hellhole of toxicity and negativity. I mean if people genuinely believing that Wind Waker was the worst Zelda game before it even came out all because of the cartoony art style doesn’t show that then the shit Jake Loyd and Ahmed Best had to put up with after Phantom Menace came out in theatres will.

Despite all the negativity and drama I’ve seen over the decades I’ve used this platform, I’ve always tried my best to ignore it and do my own thing. Note that I said tried! Because sadly, that has gotten harder and harder for me to do because it feels like the internet has just become even more negative and hostile than it already was. And that negativity can sometimes rub of on me and some of my posts. Which then bleeds into how I’m feeling in my own personal life which isn’t helped by how bad my year has been so far. It’s even gotten to the point where I’ll sometimes delete certain status posts after a few hours, maybe even minuets, because I worry I’m making things even worse which then that negativity rubs off on other people and I don’t want to be doing that because I’ve always tried to spread positivity, either through my commissions, jokes, memes or just generally trying to be a good person.

In fact, for a few years I have even wanted to just up and quit the internet entirely because I couldn’t stand some of the worse aspects of this place but always stop myself for a few reasons. As someone who’s made some really great friends thought this platform leaving it would be a terrible idea because I’d basically be abandoning the only good and real friends I’ve ever managed to make in my life. As someone who uses this platform to commission artists to turn my ideas into art leaving would also be a terrible idea because aside from just not really having the patience to learn how to do art myself there wouldn’t be a whole lot of options for making those ideas of mine a reality and my motivation to write actual stories still isn't there anymore. That’s not even counting how the internet has become such a key part of our day to day lives weather we like to admit it or not from online shopping and movies and shows exclusive to streaming sites.

So no, I’m not leaving the internet. Tempting as it would be I’m not going though with it nor will I ever for the reasons I just listed especially the friends part. However, as I mentioned before I've been coming onto the internet less and less recently and I likely will continue to be trying to not spend as much time on it as I use to only really using it to chat with friends, browse art or shop for things online because with all the reasons I’m going to get into soon paired with how hell my years been so far causing my emotional state to plummet and be inconsistent somedays, I’m sorry but I’m at my limit! I don’t know how much more of this I can really take. I have grown so many issues with this platform over the years it’s amazing I’ve braved though it for this long!

1: Sharing your opinion about anything just isn’t worth it most of the time. I mean this is one of the most obvious reasons as to why the internet sucks right? You’ll either get people being absolute party poopers or questioning how you could even like something in question if you talk positively about something or get fanboys treating you like you’re the next Hitler or wanting to dig up any dirt on you they can if you say a negative opinion. And this is under the assumption that your being reasonable and level-headed with your opinions because this issue goes the other way two! There are people who are so extreme in their opinions that even just seeing someone thinking the opposite of them even if they aren’t being dicks about it get’s them so triggered they have to be rude towards them. Oh, and let’s not forget the people who share opinions they don’t even really mean and only say them just to get attention.

I have had a handful of bad experiences in the past when it came to sharing my opinions believe me! I’ve openly admitted that I had fun with Pokemon Sword and Shield and that if I was personally having fun with a game then that’s all that mattered to me which resulted in someone with an extreme hate boner for modern Pokemon and I do mean REALLY extreme telling me that I was the reason we will “never get another good Pokemon game again.” I opened up that I didn’t really like Spec Ops The Line and gave legitimate reasons as to why and wasn't being a dick about it only to be told that me not liking it was a “me problem.” I’ve even had random extreme Anti Bronies back in the day calling me cancer and telling me to kill myself when I use to use mainly pony based PFP’s on YouTube even if I never say anything relating to MLP in the first place. Just simply having those PFP’s made me a target! I’m even scared of admitting which of the three modern consoles I personally prefer playing on the most even though I feel like it’s obvious which one I do prefer at this point because I know if I do I’m going to get a bunch of detractors calling me a shill or fanboy or whatever.

2: The amount of miss information that gets spread on here and the amount of people who are so willing to believe it and not do any actual research on the topic is actually concerning and it’s another one of those issues that’s been a thing for years now with it only getting worse and worse. I mean at the start of this year alone there was a rumour that God of War 1 and 2 were getting remade. Where did this rumour come from? Good question! Because the source for these rumours were literally NOTHING! Yet despite the baseless rumours people were still talking about it as if it was actually going to happen and it went on for several days until people just stopped talking about it entirely. Literally the only reason I could think of as to why this rumour was getting spread was because of the Valhalla DLC for Ragnarock which had a bunch of returning enemies, music and even locations from the Greek saga.

One of my favourite examples of miss information getting spread that people believed as true was the infamous Solo posters without guns drama. Back in 2018 leading up to the release of Solo A Star Wars Story there were some variants of the posters making their way online that showed the characters without guns. And because this is the Star Wars fanbase we are talking about of course they reacted to it in the worst possible way claiming that guns were going to be removed from the film entirely and that this was some kind of anti gun message that Disney were trying to push… Only for it to come out a few days later that these specific posters were exclusive to Brazil and Brazil only and is mainly a result of how differently movies can be marketed depending on the region!

Pair that with the number of fake leaks and rumours that circulate that despite being obvious at this point that anyone can make a leak people still believe anyway and then get super upset about it when something comes out and those leaks end up not being true even though it’s their own fault for getting there hopes up on a leak! (Looking at you Smash Bros fanbase.)

3: I touched on this a little before but why is everyone so overly negative and angry about everything!? Because it feels like no one can be calm or level-headed about anything anymore. You always got to make a big deal about everything now! And look, there are thing going on in the world that are worth making a big deal about and I’m not saying we shouldn’t be calling attention to those. Wars, corruption, unfair work environments, actors and animators not being paid enough for there work and corporations doing shady and greedy business practises. That sort of stuff is worth making a big deal out of because that stuff does matter. Where my issue lies is when people do this to movies, video games, shows or just fiction in general. Mainly media that people don’t like. And it’s fine to not like certain media. There are games, movies and shows I’ve played and seen that I haven't liked and probaply won't even if I give them another try just as much as there is media I love and adore. But usually if I do, when I’m asked about it I’ll just say I don’t like it and even explain why if I have to and just move on. I won’t make a big deal about it or drag out any sort of drama for several days because that’s what get’s me the most clicks and ad revenue on YouTube or because it’s the “cool thing” to hate on something. (Looking at you Anti Bronies.)

Not to mention how obsessed with hyperbole everyone is now! You can’t just say “Oh, I didn’t like this particular thing. It wasn’t for me personally” anymore. You got to ramp it up! You got to say stuff like “WORST MOVIE EVER!” or “THIS SHOW IS SHIT!!!” or “GAMING IS DEAD” or “CINIMA IS DEAD” or “THIS THING RUINED THE FRANCHSIE!!!” I’m not even fucking joking when I say that if I had a dollar for every time someone pulled the “it ruined the franchise” card just because they didn’t like a certain entry in a series, I’d be able to buy a yacht. I hear “IT RUINED THE FRANCHSIE” and “IT RUINED MY CHILDHOOD” so much and every time I do I groan and roll my eyes. Thing is, this sort of thing would actually be funny if it was mostly being played up as a joke or for satire but no, most of the people who use hyperbole like this do genuinely mean this. I mean I wasn’t the biggest fan of the 2022 Saint’s Row reboot either, I think there’s A LOT about that game that could have been handled a lot better especially the writing, but I’m not going say it “ruined the franchise” especially when I can still load up those original games and still have the same enjoyment of them now as I did back then.

I get it. Negativity sells and any publicity is good publicity and all that. That’s not even just a saying either, that’s actually been proven. Prior to their removal from the site entirely dislikes on YouTube videos still technically counted as likes and leaving negative comments on a video was usually enough to get that video trending. Plus, you’re more likely to get engagement on a video or post if your being negative about something over being positive. People do this sort of stuff for a reason, because negativity sells and that’s my issue! The algorithm prefers pushing people who are negative about everything, and the loudest voices are usually the angriest! Which leads to people making a carer of being negative.

Even if the shit they are complaining about is so petty and so not worth making a big deal out. ESPECIALLY if the stuff they do complain about makes them come off as bigots! I mean we got people who were getting upset over Starfields character customizer for daring to have pronouns in it! We got people being upset because Splatoon 3 Side Order confirmed that Acht was Non Binary. We even got people trying to convince everyone that Vivian in remake for Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door was "retconed into being trans" even though she was ALWAYS trans in the original Japanese version of the Gamecube release of Thousand Year Door and this remake was a more faithful translation of that original version compared to the international Gamecube release!

4: Even if you’ve never met anyone like this personally chances are you know about at least one example of someone who’s life has been ruined because of the internet. From harassment to death threats to doxing to people just being generally really wired and creepy to others, something about the internet just invites people to being awful to each other.

Take for example what happened to Erica Lindbeak last year. You might not know her by name, but you likely do know the characters she’s played. For me personally I know her from her roles as Futaba from Persona 5 and Loona from Helluva Boss. Well, last year she spoke about her dislike of AI generated covers of songs using her voice and even asked for some of those videos to be taken down because of how uncomfortable she was with them. And what happened in response? People were telling her to get over it and that she was “ruining people’s fun” and just being big bullies to her to the point where she couldn’t take it anymore and had to close her social media account. And I’m sorry but if the real voice actor of a character expresses discomfort with there voice being cloned like this without there permission or consent and they ask you to take something down you respect their wishes! Especially when we live in an age where corporations are seriously considering use AI to cut costs and avoid paying anyone! Double so when AI cloning of dead voice actors is possible which is not something I’m fine with the idea of!

And I know I already made fun of this particular fanbase earlier but I’m sorry, the amount of people who have worked on Star Wars project that got their lives ruined because of Star Wars fans, good god! Jake Loyd; got bullied so much that he want’s nothing to do with Star Wars anymore. Ahmed Best; once tried taking his own life because of the harassment he got for simply playing Jar Jar Binks. Daisy Ridley; was driven off social media because of harassment. Kelly Marie Tran; not only had to also close her social media account because of harassment but had to check herself into therapy as well. George Lucas; openly admitted that he didn’t want to make these movies anymore because it wasn’t fun anymore! I could go on about other examples especially with recent examples like with how people were treating some of the actors of Kenobi and The Acolyte but I’d be here all day if I did. And people wonder why the phrase “No one hates Star Wars more than Star Wars fans” is a thing.

And let’s not forget how Sakurai was getting harassment over Waluigi not being playing in Smash Ultimate or over what other characters he did or didn’t add, Pokemon fans harassing Masuda on a post he made celebrating someone’s wedding day and the team that worked on the Definitive Edition of the Grand Theft Auto Trilogy apparently got bullied and harassed just because of how it turned out. I’m sorry, but no mater what issues you have with a piece of media you do NOT go out of your way to ruin the lives of the people involved in it. They are people just as much as you or I.

So there, those are all the reasons as to why I hate the internet and have no shame in wanting to spend less and less time on it recently. It has nothing to do with people still sending me random friend requests or RP requests or me being tired of any over used memes or phrases although quite frankly I could still probably count those as minor reasons if I wanted to. Again, I’m not going to leave this platform or anything given the friends I’ve made and how I have to use it as a necessity at this point for certain things but with how close to my breaking point I am I feel like trying to limit myself on how much time I spend on here outside of talking with friends and shopping is going to be for the better. Anyway, I’m sorry for such a downer post but I really can’t keep this to myself anymore. If I can end this with something positive though, I hope anyone who actually bothered reading this has a better year than I've had so far...

[tomorrowyoullbeworldsaway]

I figured I should make you a Spotify playlist

I’ve never liked someone this much and not made one for them. I don’t know if I’ve ever quite liked someone the way I like you. It’s not just that I’d rather see you than anyone else, I always have that, but it’s that I want to be talking to you all of the time. Never in my life have I been scared to come on too strong I have always been the distant one but I want to know if you like roller coasters I want you to know what I think of my book and I want you to like me so bad it scares me a bit. I’m in love with the idea of being loved that’s nothing new what might scare me is loving you back. I think you’re my dearest friend I think you know me better than anyone but I feel like I came to hate everyone who’s ever been in love with me. I hated you for a while once I suppose our dynamic had soured on me our dynamics changed now I don’t know if that protects me from hating you again but I guess it proves I can come back from it which is good it’s a comfort. I’m scared it wasn’t the dynamic I’m scared being in the same state will make me get sick of you it hardly even occurs to me you’ll get sick of me I have never not been the one to run away but we’re not dating and you’re not here and that’s beautiful because it lets me just be in love with you without having to do anything it or be anything about it there’s no rules we have to follow beyond mutual respect but I’m scared that can’t go on forever but I love you and whatever we do with this last year of school will be beautiful and I’ve got more evidence that I’ll know you long after than I do that I’ll ever hate you for longer than a month

[genderfluid-faerie-bf]

MY TURN okay. i am just gonna hop on a call with mi dulce before i start this bc long. and ik he was worried abt the character limit but i will just do two posts if i have to idc 1. good lord my memory is so shit, you expect me to remember that? idk dude i remember doing laser tag a lot which was good, movies, lots of time w my cousins and brothers, the five of us were always a group 2. ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY 3. hm. a living person? if it can be anyone, Cicero. Looked up to him since I was like 13-14 ish 4. my favourite will always be the red scrolls of magic by cassandra clare, the sequel is incredible as well and IM SO EXCITED FOR THE THIRD 5. physically? emotionally?? i think. most probably. that he's not afraid to visibly care 6. i do love my new dress, so i will go with that. but i do love a lot of things so it's a tricky choice. dress for now. 7. happy. i like the idea of people being in love. i know like 'it's chemical' or 'it's biological' and 'happens to everyone' and a) no it doesnt bc aro ppl exist and b) who cares?? i don't care if it's chemical it still makes people happy! isn't that what you want? isn't that the whole aim of life?? 8. i wish i did but he's at the wrong house and i'm surviving w out him 9. one of those 'greatest hits' cds i can't remember much except it had beauty and a beat which i now hate <333 10. im gonna be soooo real. hiking and driving both suck so im gonna take the travel part out of the equation and just go stargaze vs sunrise and stargaze wins, just. 11. dance with my demons, by blame my youth. hits just as hard as ever four years after i first listened to it 12. iced 13. bright colours!! i want to be Seen and Perceived 14. breakfast for dinner bc cereal 15. black thumb, sadly. wish i didn't but i do 16. my collarbone and hip bones, i just like the. idk i like my hips and my collarbone 17. lawyer 18. tall, blond and with an american accent. (i know.) 19. i actually dont rlly want either, like i wouldnt say no, but theres no pull towards either of em 20. makeup 21. idk, there's been many. 22. who knows, really. i dont pay attention to the weird stuff. i like weird people 23. oh this is. hard. i think my dream date would be a long trip together. train ride, maybe? not about the destination. just the trip. 24. intuition. i have never been a logical person, emotion is just better 25. yes. 26. no 27. me, no explanation 28. spotify wrapped day!!!! 29. no <3 30. insta 31. soooo many shows dude. i did not vibe with like. the home reno shows in general, and antique roadshow and just. many of the ones where things are for sale and money is involved. 32. Land: Horses / Land of a thousand dances / La Mer(de) by Patti Smith 33. yes 34. also yes. 35. oh fuck whats his name. the gay guy that does the antique recipes. then tom holland. after that idk 36. latin 37. no 38. roses, especially yellow roses. 39. having someone touch my shoulders, tracing things on my shoulders, laying a hand on my shoulders, etc. 40. yes 41. i like the idea, never had someone to celebrate it with yet tho 42. no and no 43. my writing, i would hope, or hopefully as 'spouse of (important position)' for when my nick takes over the world 44. "Unasked for advice is criticism, my dear" - Magnus Bane from TSC 45. yeah 46. no and not really? maybe but its not big on my list of wants 47. h a t e it when people refuse to do something fun bc it's 'cringe' or embarrassing or whatever. be authentic!! care about things!! i know im gonna be bad at ice skating and dancing and karaoke and i DONT CARE JUST LET ME BE THE FIRST TO DANCE. WHEN I GET UP, FOLLOW ME. I DONT CARE 48. empathy

70. driving 71. whatever nick listens to??? indie rock i think???? 72. chill. i wish i didnt know.

73. late night or early morning. midday is just bad. 74. both

75. wyoming, michigan; venice; rome 76. that they are really in tune with that other people think different things. and will try to get your thoughts rather than assume 77. no.

78. hair

79. yes but also no. tell me, then i forget, and then i get the surprise later! both!

80. my pfp on insta

81. the shadow hunter chronicles, by cassandra clare

82. yes

83. my red rose earring, matching w nicky

84. my family is just me actually. i have no family, i don't claim them as my relatives

85. no but i want to be, one day

86. boxers

87. apartment with library room, this has not changed

88. KITTY. TSC. KITTY. 89. michigan

90. the thursday murder club by richard osman, and the sequels

91. never has been one!

92. THE SHADOWHUNTER CHRONICLES HANDS DOWN 93. oh boy. too long to bother with but. later.

94. one i'm at rn

95. we bumped into my brother. while kissing. he didn't know i was gay.

96. nicky <3

97. spontaneity babyyy

98. in general, no, but i think i have a closer view of what i am than most people do, if that makes sense. i know i'll never get it exactly right but i think im pretty self aware

99. house md

100. dancing queen by abba

Get to know me asks✨

So introverts who never talk to their mutuals can get to know each other lol

1. What were your summers like as a kid?

2. Do you enjoy thrilling rides like rollercoasters?

3. Who was your childhood hero?

4. What is your favorite book?

5. What do you find most attractive about your crush?

6. What’s your favorite outfit?

7. Does seeing people in love make you happy? Sad? Annoyed?

8. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

9. What CD did you play to death as a kid?

10. Hike to a mountain top to watch the sunrise or drive out of town to stargaze?

11. What song has the most relatable song lyrics to you?

12. Iced drinks or hot drinks?

13. Bright colors or neutral tones?

14. Breakfast for dinner or pizza for breakfast?

15. Do you have a green thumb or a black thumb?

16. What’s your favorite feature of yours?

17. Would you rather be a lawyer or a doctor?

18. What type do you tend to go for physically?

19. Power of invisibility or flight?

20. Would you rather wake up with your makeup magically done or your hair?

21. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into?

22. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone do in public?

23. What’s your dream date?

24. Do you tend to gravitate more toward using logic or intuition to make decisions?

25. Do you like parties?

26. Did you enjoy high school?

27. Who is the craziest person in your family and why?

28. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?

29. Can you describe your laugh?

30. Instagram or Twitter?

31. What’s a show that everyone loves that you didn’t?

32. What song is stuck in your head?

33. Do you like exercising?

34. Do you scare easily?

35. Who are your top 5 celebrity crushes?

36. If you could learn one language fluently what would it be?

37. Would you fly to the moon if given the opportunity?

38. What’s your favorite flower?

39. What non-sexual touch affects you the most?

40. Do you enjoy cuddling?

41. Do you like valentine’s day?

42. Do you enjoy driving and are you a good driver?

43. What would you be most likely to become famous for?

44. Do you have a favorite quote?

45. Are you a romantic?

46. Do you have any tattoos or want to get one?

47. Biggest pet peeve?

48. Favorite personality trait about yourself?

49. Sum up your type in three words.

50. Do you listen to Kpop and if so who is your bias and why?

51. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed awake?

52. Hot or cold weather?

53. Bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates?

54. Can you do any good impressions?

55. What’s the best prank you’ve been witness to?

56. Favorite dessert?

57. Is there a vine or tik tok you quote often?

58. What tumblr post always makes you laugh?

59. What country that you haven’t been to do you want to visit most?

60. Can you cook and do you enjoy it?

61. What’s your guilty pleasure movie?

62. What’s your comfort movie?

63. Is there a genre of music you don’t like?

64. What’s an album that you think has no skips on it?

65. What’s your favorite thing to watch on youtube?

66. Would you make the first move to ask someone out?

67. Do you often dream or have nightmares that you remember when you wake up?

68. What are you craving right now?

69. What turns you on?

70. What’s something you haven’t done that you think most people have?

71. What genre is your favorite playlist right now and what’s it called?

72. Are you a sad or happy drunk? Chill or energetic drunk?

73. What time of day do you like best?

74. Do you tend to enjoy being babied or do you prefer to be the one taking care of someone else?

75. What top three cities do you want to travel to?

76. What’s your favorite feature about your best friend?

77. Do you have any pets? What are their names?

78. Back scratches or having your hair played with?

79. Do you like surprises?

80. What’s your favorite picture of yourself?

81. What books influenced you most as a child?

82. Do you like kids?

83. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? (or other accessory if you don’t wear any)

84. Any wild stories passed around in your family?

85. Do you consider yourself an independent person?

86. What are you most comfortable sleeping in?

87. What was your childhood dream?

88. What’s your fictional OTP?

89. What’s one thing you want to achieve this year?

90. What has been your favorite book you’ve read in the last 5 years?

91. What was the first movie to make you cry?

92. What book world would you live in if given the opportunity?

93. What’s your craziest work related story?

94. What’s the best job you’ve had so far?

95. Worst tinder or date experience?

96. What’s the first thing you think of when you wake up most mornings?

97. Are you more of a planner or a spontaneous adventurer?

98. Do you think you see yourself the way other people see you?

99. What’s the last show you binged?

100. What’s one of your fondest memories?