#never got the services that would have helped and now has a whole cluster of fucked up brain beans from it

[renjunphile]

freedom ain't nothing but missing you ☆ jung sungchan

ᯓ★ WORD COUNT: 13.6k

ᯓ★ PAIRING: riize's jung sungchan x female!reader

ᯓ★ TAGS & WARNINGS: college!au, second chance romance, college antics - partying, drinking, brief mentions of vomiting, reader has mad commitment issues you wanna punch her in the face, pining

ᯓ★ SYNOPSIS: the last time you saw him was when you looked over your shoulder at his weeping figure one last time at the airport. four seasons have passed and your heart tightens at the sight of his smiling face, wishing it was directed at you.

ᯓ★ NOTES: what would a renjunphile fic be without a second chance romance element ! sorry it's my favourite trope i can never let go of it :') all my stories are really the same now ! also me *handshake* using aespa members as side characters lol at the start of story, y/n and hyung line are going into 4th year, sohee and seunghan into 3rd year and anton into 2nd year.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

You hear your best friend's voice before you see her. If you had just looked a little more to the left, you would've spotted her immediately anyway as she waved a large piece of pink card-stock with your name displayed in a glittery explosion.

"Y/N! Over here!" she cooed at you loudly from behind the barrier, "Y/N!!!"

You quickly weave around the other passengers as expertly as you could with your trolley of bags, but Minjeong is quick to meet you at the exit. She drops the sign onto your cluster of suitcases and wraps her arms around your neck, squealing into your ear with glee.

"I missed you too, Jeong," you giggled at her embrace, "I told you that you didn't have to get me!"

She scoffed at you as she pulled away, "What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't welcome you back home after a year away! You said your parents couldn't come and meet you, so I came!"

You think back to your conversation just before you got on the god-awful long flight with her, recalling how your parents thought it was too far for them to drive up from your hometown when they were already coming the week after for your birthday.

"Thanks babe," you thanked her sincerely, bumping your hip against hers while the two of you began to push the cart together. You couldn't believe that you were able to pack your whole life in just two large suitcases and one small one, "By the way, how are we getting back into the city?"

Minjeong didn't drive; she'd rather walk to her destination in the wind, snow, hail or storm than learn how to get behind the wheel. She was a self proclaimed "passenger princess", which you admired and envied from the way your friends (including her) used you like their own personal taxi service when you had your car. Sadly for your friends, you were not hesitant when it came to selling your car at the end of your second year of university, just weeks before you packed up your life and moved to New York for the new school year. While you sometimes missed your slightly beat up Hyundai on the days that you had to get on the subway with arms full of groceries, you couldn't justify the purchase of a car again for your final year of university.

"I assisted the help of a special someone," Minjeong winked at you happily, watching your face contort in horror immediately, "Wait, no. Not that one. I promise."

You let out a sigh of relief that you didn't even know you were holding back as you cramped together in the car park's elevator. There were many people you haven't seen in a year. There were many people you've missed and wished to see. But you didn't think you could face him right now, at this very second.

"Who is it?" you prodded curiously, but she just gave you an innocent smile and pushed the cart out of the elevator and towards a shiny car about 30 steps from the doors

You couldn't make out the figure sat in the driver's seat, no matter how you craned your head until he got out and faced you straight on.

"Chanyoung!" you gasped in surprise, welcoming him in a tight hug, "Since when did you learn how to drive?"

"Just this year, noona. Welcome home!" he chuckled from above you. You wondered if he grew any more since the last time you saw him, cause it definitely felt like it.

Chanyoung was Minjeong's little cousin that began his studies at your university as you were leaving. Despite that, he grew to be a familiar presence as he lived nearby and always dropped by the apartment you shared with his cousin. He was truly one of your favourite people since he was so sweet and caring.

Before you could finish your greetings with Chanyoung, Minjeong had already loaded your (very heavy) bags into the trunk of Chanyoung's new car and had collapsed in the back seat, "Let's go guys. I'm sure Y/N's tired, but you can sit in the front."

Without another word, she dropped her head to the window and began to doze off. You clambered into the front seat and gave Chanyoung a thumbs up to head out.

"How was your first year at university, 'Ton?" you asked.

"Super good, actually. It was really helpful to know all of your friends before I entered so I never felt alone or lost or anything," he recounted the times that you missed, "By the way, thank you for letting me stay in your room. My first year definitely wouldn't be the same if I still lived at home."

You shared a two-bedroom apartment with Minjeong just off campus during your second year at university after meeting her on the first day of first year and becoming fast friends. You had warned her that you probably would have to find a temporary replacement while you were halfway across the world, but when word got out to her little cousin, he begged to take over your room while you were gone. Since he lived in Seoul already, his parents weren't very willing to let him test his luck and go into dorms with a stranger, but they were much more open to letting him live with his older and allegedly more responsible older cousin until he found friends to live with for the next year.

"No worries; I'd rather it was you than a stranger," you shrugged, "Who are you living with again?"

"Sohee and Seunghan," he tapped his finger on the steering wheel to the beat of the song quietly playing on the radio, "You know them, right?"

Your heart squeezed again at the thought of the boys you got to know in the year before you left, "Yeah, a bit. Haven't spoken to them in a long time, though. I hope it's not awkward to see everyone again, otherwise I'll just lock myself in my room until I graduate."

"Everyone misses you, noona," Anton assured you softly, "I know that for sure."

You opened your mouth to say what your heart desired, but closed it again hesitantly as your brain came to the rescue of your emotions. Anton flashed a look at you from the driver's seat, but chose not to comment when he saw the conflicted expression on your face.

"Tell me about your time in New York," his soft voice pulled you gently out of the mess that was unravelling in your head.

You gave him a small, knowing smile and began recounting your favourite memories and your life in the city that never sleeps.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Around 4PM, you waved your parents away as they pulled out from the car park under your apartment complex. They had a pretty long drive back to your hometown with work early the next day, but you were grateful they made the drive up in the morning to celebrate your birthday with you. You had taken them to your previous favourite Italian restaurant for lunch, but after tasting more authentic cuisine in New York in the predominantly Italian neighbourhoods, you weren't sure if the restaurant was as good as you remembered it to be. Still, you enjoyed the lunch and catching up with your parents with what had happened in the last 6 months since they came to visit you abroad. With a hug and a kiss goodbye, they were driving away from you once again.

When you returned back upstairs to your apartment, Minjeong was waiting for you patiently on the couch with her legs and arms crossed and a mischievous smirk on her face.

"What?" you groaned in anticipation.

"I picked out an outfit for you while you were out. It's on the bed. Get ready," she grinned, clapping her hands together, "We have dinner plans. Meet back here in an hour and a half."

"That's really not necessary, Jeong," you pleaded, but she just turned her nose up at you, reiterating her instructions.

To be honest, you had planned to spend the rest of your birthday cuddled up on the couch with your best friend, probably watching a chick-flick or a horror or both. She stomped away to her room and you fearfully tiptoed to yours. Knowing her, she would have picked out something a bit more showy than you would like.

However, you were pleasantly surprised at the dress laid out on your bed, with a note in her handwriting. It wasn't something she picked out of your closet- it was a dress she had bought for you. It was a flowing mini dress with ruffles extending from the skirt and a corset bodice you knew would flatter you. You sent her a grateful text and began to freshen up your hair and makeup from your morning outfit.

From your outfit, you guessed it would be in a sit-down restaurant that was more refined than a bbq restaurant whose smoke would cling to your hair, skin and clothes for days. However, knowing Minjeong, you couldn't put anything past her. After all, she was the one that convinced you to drink soju with her at a stall on the side of a dirt road in your floor length silk dresses after your first year ball. An hour and a half later, you had curled and then re-curled your hair, did your eyeliner twice and marvelled at how the light pink dress your best friend bought you fit you like a glove. When you heard Minjeong calling out your name, you were finishing buckling the heeled Mary Janes that you loved and made sure that everything you could need for the night was in your purse.

In the week you had been back in Seoul, all you had done was unpack your suitcases and make the room feel like yours again. School wasn't starting for another week, so all the friends that you tried to meet up with told you that they were still in their hometowns, due to come a few days before the fall semester began.

"Urgh, I knew it would look amazing on you!" Minjeong analysed you in awe. Trust the fashion design and marketing major to have an eye for these types of things.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" you eyed her suspiciously as she looped her arm around yours and dragged you out of your shared apartment.

"You can find out when we get there," Minjeong tapped on her phone, "The taxi's outside, quick!"

The destination set for the taxi was somewhere you weren't familiar with. The street name definitely didn't ring a bell. Perhaps a new restaurant had opened in that area while you were gone and Minjeong was just trying to catch you up to the city again.

Speaking of the girl beside you, she spent the whole ride with her eyebrows furrowed together as she furiously tapped away on her phone. You wouldn't say that you were a particularly nosy person (lie), but her privacy screen protector made it impossible for you to see who she was texting. It was probably Heeseung anyway- her on-again, off-again boyfriend of four years, but more like two.

"Are you guys fighting again?" you teased.

"Huh?" she looked up at you in confusion and her face flashed with recognition, "Yeah, yeah. It's nothing. Don't worry, but look we're basically here."

Apparently 'here' meant on the street that was lined by endless blocks of high rise flats and a few convenience stores dotted about.

"Did you make me dress up to eat ramen at a GS25?" you prodded your finger in the direction of the store.

Minjeong laughed heartily, "No silly! I made you dress up to eat ramen at a 7/11!" she pointed at the stripy neon sign at the opposite end of the street. She captured your arm in hers once more, tugging to make you walk with her, "Just trust me. It's the hottest place in town."

You don't think that the hottest place in town was Block 7 of this high rise complex, but you say nothing as she buzzed for apartment 08 and caught the lift up to the 4th floor. Minjeong was known to find all the hottest spots in town, so you really try to keep it to yourself as she knocked on the door that looked far too much like an apartment door, including the mail next to the door mat.

She didn't even wait for someone to answer, just pushed down on the handle and nudged for you to enter into the darkness.

"Surprise!"

You clasped a hand over your mouth as light flooded the room and a group of about 20 people screamed at you. From behind you, Minjeong was cheering, pushing you further into what now seemed to be an apartment instead of a restaurant. With 20 pairs of eyes staring at you all at once, it took you a few seconds to shake yourself out of the shock and recognise anyone. The place was decorated with banners and balloons of your favourite colours, with steaming food on the dining table in the corner of the room.

"Happy birthday! Welcome home!" Karina, Yizhuo and Giselle were the first to crush you ina hug.

"We're sorry we declined your plans to hang out," Yizhuo pouted, "We thought we would give away the surprise that Jeong planned if we saw you."

You waved a dismissive hand at your younger friend, "It's okay. This is so sweet of you guys!" You felt Minjeong join the embrace.

"We thought you deserved it since we didn't get to spend your birthday with you last year," Giselle added on as the group pulled away from you.

Last year, you had spent your birthday alone, wandering around New York City for the first time and procuring free birthday goods from all the establishments that offered it.

"Happy birthday, Y/N!" you heard a deeper voice coo at you as you were pulled away from your girls. You were suddenly face to face with one of your closer guy friends from before.

"Eunseok!" you accepted his side hug, "Hi!"

"Welcome home! We all missed you so much," at his words, you dart your eyes around the room and find 5 boys hiding behind Eunseok's tall figure. They each hug you one by one, ending with Chanyoung who gives you the cheekiest grin.

"Welcome to our apartment," he grinned proudly, gesturing at himself, Sohee and Seunghan.

"Where'd you get all this money from, huh? I should've charged you more rent," you teased, eyeing the modern, open-plan space. The floor to ceiling windows on one wall of the room with a view over the river really sold you on the idea that this was an expensive apartment.

"You can throw as many parties as you like here," Shotaro giggled, "We know we're going to!"

"Yeah, whose birthday is it next?" Wonbin pondered.

"Oh! It's-" Eunseok smacked Sohee in the stomach before he could finish his words, laughing nervously.

The 6 boys in front of you watched in despair as your smile fell ever so slightly before you recovered it again.

"I'll go say hi to everyone else," you murmured softly, catching Wonbin's regretful face.

"Y/N, he's-"

"It's okay, Bin," you smiled softly, ignoring the pounding in your heart and head, "I wouldn't have expected him to come. He probably hates me, right?"

You turned around without letting any of the boys say another word, joining your group of friends from your dance club. While your friendship with them was something you treasured deeply, you fell out of touch with them in your year abroad quite quickly. You didn't put much thought into the people that did or didn't keep in contact, considering you were focused on making friends and trying to live in the moment abroad. Besides, you were coming back anyway. What's a year in the grand scheme of things?

Your heart panged at that thought, but you tried to push it away as Jisung tackled you in a tight hug. Ryujin and Yeji had to physically peel the towering kid away from you as you dove into conversation about what you had spent the last year doing.

As the conversation came to an end, your eyes fell on the 6 boys stood around in a circle, whispering hushedly and stealing quick glances at you. When you caught Seunghan's eye, he just chuckled nervously and dismissed you, but the sight of them, incomplete, caused your heart to tense up.

All the most important people in your university life was in this room. All, except one.

"Jeong, I'm just gonna catch some air. Just quickly," you tapped your best friend on the back, just before waving and greeting her potentially current boyfriend Heeseung.

"Oh, I'll come with!" she began to untangle herself from his embrace, but you just clicked your teeth and shook your head.

"No, it's okay. I can go alone; I'll be quick. Just buzz me up when I ring?" you requested. She gave you an unsure look, but settled back into Heeseung's form.

Ignoring the stares on your back, you ran down the two flights of stairs and pushed open the door to outside. Since it was the start of fall and 6pm, the sun was beginning to go down. The sky wasn't yet pink and purple, but instead glowing an ethereal gold, bathing you in light rays. You fiddled with the phone in your hand, grasping it tightly as you debated what to do. His contact was staring up at you, almost taunting you to do something with it. Call it? Message it? Delete it?

Your finger hovered over the phone symbol. Surely he'd want to hear from you, right? The way you ended things wasn't... satisfactory. It gave neither of you closure. You needed to speak to him, right?

Fuck it, you think to yourself. It's your birthday. You can do whatever you like. As you pressed the call button, you shakily lifted the phone up to your ears, counting the rings.

Ring ring, ring ring, ring-

"Y/N?" his voice is familiar, soothing the nerves that plagued you at the thought of him letting your call go unanswered.

"Sungchan," you began hesitantly, "I'm not sure if anyone told you, but I'm uh- I'm back in Seoul."

"Y/N," he repeated, making you aware of the sounds of his feet hitting the pavement through the phone and his laboured, shaky breaths.

"Shit, are you busy? Am I interrupting something?" your stomach folded in on itself as you realised he didn't answer your statement. He was probably at the gym- Minjeong told you he'd taken that up in your absence.

"Y/N," he breathed out again, the patters of his feet coming to a stop, "Look up."

You tore your eyes away from your feet- the only thing that was distracting you from internalising too hard that you were calling your kind-of ex-boyfriend.

As you lifted your eyes up, a tall figure came into view across the street from you. Sungchan was stood panting, one hand holding his phone up to his ear and the other holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Sungchan?" the call dropped as the figure took a step into the street, hastily running over to stop just shy from you.

"I don't hate you," it's the first time you're hearing his voice in one year, "The boys- they said that you said- I wanted to come, but I didn't know if you wanted me here."

He's trying to maintain eye contact, but he's clutching the flowers to his chest as he pants. You were at ease enough to chuckle, "Sungchan, did you run here?"

In this light, his eyes shined and sparkled. You've missed looking into them and getting lost all night in his gaze. You missed the way he would look at you like you were the most precious thing on earth to him.

He flashed you a toothy smile, "Mhm, didn't want to make you wonder. Just wanted to tell you that."

"A text would've sufficed."

He analysed your expression and took one large step back, "Ah, am I reading this wrong? Did you not want me to come?"

You took one step forward, "I'm sorry I didn't call as soon as I got back."

Relief flooded Sungchan's whole body as he stretched his arm to offer the bouquet to you, "It's whatever. Happy birthday, Y/N."

"Thanks, Sungchan," you smiled sincerely, "Do you want to head up now together? I'm kind of hungry and I think there's pizza."

"Yeah, sure!" his face is practically lit up at your invitation, but he hesitated to follow you, "Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed you," he whispered shyly, "Just so you know."

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

You met Sungchan three weeks into your first year of university. Minjeong's boyfriend Heeseung had joined the soccer team in the first week and their first game came around quickly. The two of you were like two peas in a pod, bundled up together in matching scarves bearing your university's colours and logo, shivering on the school's bleachers.

Your friend's eyes were trained on her boyfriend from home, but you had the lucky status of being able to cast your eyes on each player and make your judgement. The game had been going on for about 30 minutes with your school being 2-0 up. Both goals had been scored by the team's #23, a scrawny tall boy whose name you could just about make out from your distance.

"Jung's pretty good," you hummed to your friend.

"#23? His name's Sungchan, I think. Hee says he's really nice. Want me to get you two acquainted?" Minjeong wiggled her eyebrows at you, but you rolled your eyes.

You were determined to find love as naturally as possible at university. Back home, you'd been on a few first days with a few guys set up through your friends, but they were all the same to you- not cute enough, not interesting enough. You hadn't been desperate to get into a relationship, especially knowing that you were going to apply to spend your third year abroad if you kept your grades up. But when Sungchan slid in to the seat beside yours for your shared lecture meeting your GenEd requirements, you had lost all semblance of that.

"Hey, you're Y/N, right?" he had offered his hand out to you, "I'm Sungchan. I've seen you around with Heeseung's girlfriend and I've seen you in this lecture a few times."

You had taken his hand in yours, gripping firmly and giving him a shy smile, "Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you,"

When he continued to sit beside you for another few weeks, asking you questions in hushed whispers and explaining concepts to you when you looked lost, you said nothing. When he started asking if you wanted to study in the library together in your two hour gap after your shared lecture, you said nothing. When library study-seshes turned into studying at a cafe where he'd buy you a drink, you said nothing. When that turned to just two hours of the two of you chatting and getting to know all about each other's lives with your laptops abandoned on the table, you said nothing.

It then turned into butterflies slowly erupting in your stomach as his face lit up the second he saw you in the theatre. It turned into your heart beating a little faster whenever his hand brushed against yours on the walk to the café you now frequented with him. It turned into finding comfort in him as he slowly began introducing you to his best friends, who would tease you endlessly. It turned into nervous giggles and pink cheeks as you spent the whole fall and winter denying anything was going on with you and Jung Sungchan.

When spring of your freshman year began to roll in, Sungchan had mustered up the courage to take your hand in his whenever your fingers did graze each other on the walks. Whenever you'd look up at him to question it, he'd just smile slyly and look off into the distance, quickly changing the topic before you could address it.

Spring break had you realising how much of a presence he was in your life. Walking through the parks of your hometown felt melancholy without him by your side. Studying at a cafe alone was productive, but you would miss the way that every time you looked up from your screen, he'd already be staring back at you, a soft smile permanently etched on his face.

Cherry blossom season was your favourite time of the year. So when you returned to your campus and found out the main square was lined with these bloomed trees, you had dragged Sungchan there immediately, even if he had just arrived from his hometown.

The joy in your eyes must have been so evident, reflecting back in his eyes as sparkles. When Sungchan had placed his hands on your shoulders to stop you bouncing, and then leaned his head down closer to yours, you didn't stop it. You had long been used to the way he made your heart race. It was a welcome feeling as he softly planted his lips on yours for the first time under the falling petals.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

"Y/N," the sharp voice plucked you from your daydream, a bag making a thud on the wooden table, "What are you thinking about?"

"Huh?" your eyes focused in on Karina taking a seat in front of you at the café, "Nothing, nothing. Did you just have class?"

"My class ended early and I was just walking to my next class in 15, but I saw you through the window looking all sad and aloof," she explained, her eyebrows drawn together in worry, "Are you okay, girl?"

You met Karina with Minjeong at a club in the first week of your freshman year. She had been throwing up in the toilet with the door open and no one holding her hair, so Minjeong did that while you rubbed her back and cooed reassuring words. After confessing that she was getting drunk because she had just broken up with her high school boyfriend, the two of you captured her in your little group.

"It's just weird being back," you admitted.

She pouted at you sadly, "Aw, don't tell me you like your New York friends better than us?"

"No!" you squealed, laughing, "It's not that. I love you guys. It's just weird being back with Sungchan."

Her eyes morphed into a mix between empathy and sympathy, "Aw, babe. I'm sorry; I know it's weird. Whenever I meet my friends back home, I get a weird feeling seeing my ex there too. I imagine it must be worse for you since you ended on better terms than me and Mark did. It must be confusing, huh?"

Out of all your friends, Karina was the best one to be having this conversation with. While you loved Minjeong more than anything in the world, she was famous for breaking up with her boyfriend for random spats, but calling him and asking to get back together the very next moment she missed him. Absolutely no sense of longing in that department.

"I just don't know how I should act around him. Do we just go back to being friends like in first year? Should I pursue him again? Why does it feel like we're strangers to each other?"

During your party, you had thought Sungchan would stay by your side, but he quickly excused himself to join his friends and only gave you reluctant smiles through the night. Where had all the confidence disappeared to?

You saw him one more time in the two weeks after your party at the library. Eunseok had booked a large private study room at the library and texted you to come. Sungchan was already there when you came, his head stuck in a textbook. Other than shooting you a greeting and sliding the box of cookies in your direction, you got nothing else from him in three hours.

"You just need to get the worst of it over and talk to him. He must be just as confused as you are, to be honest," Karina sighed.

"He hasn't found someone else, right?" you asked reluctantly. Even if he had, it would have been your own fault anyway after the way you left him for dust at the airport.

Karina scoffed and rolled her eyes, "The only thing he's found in the past year is the gym. Taro says he's gone crazy. You know- post break-up glow up? He's become quite the heartbreaker, actually. All these girls started to notice him, but he never gives any of them the time of day."

You fight the scowl threatening to display on your face, "Oh, really?"

"Please, Y/N, he was always going to wait for you. I'd never seen a man so down bad and I know Heeseung." she scrunched up her face at the thought. Heeseung was famously untouchable by the girls at university, no matter how much they threw themselves at the football captain. Anyone else would be embarrassed by getting broken up with by their girlfriend every couple of months, but Heeseung always took it with stride and came crawling back with on his hands and knees towards her every time.

"Hm, you're wrong. I don't think anyone can beat that man," the memory of him scoring a hat-trick in the regional final with the words 'Take me back, Minjeong' written on his undershirt that he flashed while he celebrated the last goal cemented his position of number 1 loverboy in your mind.

"Potentially, but Sungchan drove four hours overnight to your hometown when your pet hamster died to comfort you in the summer between first and second year," Karina reminded you, "He charmed your strict parents so hard that by the time the night came, they let him stay in your room with you!"

"He brought expensive melons," you rolled your eyes, "I don't even know where he got those from at 2 in the morning."

"Exactly. Even I wouldn't gift my in-laws that expensive of a fruit no matter how much I wanted to impress them," she countered, "Just talk to Sungchan, I beg. I don't want to watch you go through the whole will they-won't they song and dance of first year again. I gotta go to class, but text him now, yeah?"

You dumbly nodded at her instruction, watching her race out of the cafe and waving goodbye through the large window. Everyone always teased you about how much Sungchan seemed to like you. They never knew that you were equally as smitten.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

You made it to the café before Sungchan. Unfortunately, that just gave you more time to panic and stress over what you were going to say to him after all this time. Your chocolate frappe and his iced americano sat in front of you, slowly melting in the unrelenting sun. You asked to meet at 1 and there was still 5 minutes 'til then, but Sungchan had the habit of being early. That was one thing he passed down to you.

"Y/N," Sungchan gave you a gentle smile as he slid into the seat across you. It was hard to meet his eye, but you held eye contact for as long as you could (not very long) before you tore your eyes away and slid his drink over to him. He thanked you sincerely and took a sip, giving you the chance to speak first.

"Thanks for meeting me, Sungchan," you began nervously, "I know it's been, um, confusing recently- at least for me. I just wanted to catch up and see where we are or get some closure, I guess. I feel like you deserve more of an explanation than what I was able to give you."

In an instant, you're transported back to one week before your flight to New York in the comfort of his bed. You had tearfully explained how hard you thought it was going to be to do long distance even when you had spent a better part of the situationship deluding yourself and each other that it would work out not matter what.

You don't think you could ever forget the look of heartbreak plastered on his face as you spilled your worries to him that night. You don't think you'd ever forgive yourself for making his body shake with sobs, pleading you to think about it again.

That's why it's hard to face him right now- because of all the shame and guilt.

"To be honest, Y/N, you told me before we got involved that you were doing your year abroad and that you didn't think it would be in the best interest of either of us to be in a new relationship by the time you left," Sungchan hummed, swirling his straw in the ice of his drink.

Suddenly, it's a year and a half earlier in your head as you and Sungchan celebrated and 'not really 1 year anniversary' because you two refused to label yourselves as a couple despite functioning identically to one. You remembered the cake, the flowers, the candles that you blew out together.

"I feel like I led you on," you admitted.

"Maybe," he shrugged, "I don't feel that way. You didn't want to get into a relationship, but I kept pursuing you anyway until you fell in- until you liked me," he coughed.

Your demeanour softened as the words slip from his mouth. When Sungchan tried to utter those three words to you at the airport for the first time and you stopped him before you could, you instantly knew you were making a mistake. But by the time you had gotten through security and settled yourself at your gate, you had manipulated yourself to think otherwise.

"Stop being so nice about it, Sungchan. I did you so wrong," you frowned deeply at him, picking at your nails in nerves. Your heart and stomach honestly ached in displeasure every time you thought about what happened.

"We made choices, and I guess we're better people now for it," Sungchan returned a tight-lipped smile, turning his head to stare out of the window and into the street.

When you left, Sungchan was shy and awkward with his limbs flying all over the place and never seeming like he had control over them. His hair fell around his eyes in an adorable cut and it would take him a while to muster up the courage to look anyone in the eye. That wasn't to say he wasn't a friendly and amazing guy- just one that had to warm up to you.

The Sungchan you returned to walked with confidence and seemed like he was now sure of himself. He kept his head up, initiated conversations with people and just moved through life more freely. You can't help but think that you were the one thing holding him back.

You didn't know what to reply with. Were you really better off? You had spent the past year trying to enjoy your life abroad, but grovelling with guilt for the life back home that you left.

Before you can open your mouth, someone beats you to it.

"Channie?"

The affectionate nickname falling from another person's mouth instantly conjures a bitter taste in your mouth. Your heads snap towards the guest standing at the edge of the table, smiling down at the man in front of you.

"Ah, I knew it was you," she beamed brightly, "Haven't had the chance to talk to you- how was your summer?"

Sungchan's eyes flickered to you so quick that you almost didn't catch it. You could tell he was hesitant in his reply, "It was good, Jiyoon. How was yours?"

She clapped her hands a little and nearly let out a squeal, "Awesome! Went to that mountain you recommended climbing! You're playing at the game tomorrow, right?"

Game? Oh, he was still on the soccer team, of course.

"Yeah," his grin was lopsided and awkward as he turned to you, "Um, Jiyoon, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Jiyoon. We met in class last year."

"Nice to meet you," she extended a hand down to you, which you reluctantly shook with a terse smile. You could practically feel the uncertainty and jealousy bubbling in the pits of your stomach as she continued, "Me and Channie were seat mates in our lectures last year! It's such a shame we don't share any this year."

The feeling is so unfamiliar that it makes you uncomfortable seeing the way she grinned and looked at him. He used to look at you like that too- the longing and the pining in the gaze when you wouldn't give into him. It was clear they weren't dating, but it felt like there was something more.

"Nice to meet you too," you clutched your drink tight in your hand as you picked up your bag, "I actually have to run somewhere so why don't you take a seat and catch up? Seems like it's due. Bye Sungchan."

In your rush away from the table, Sungchan caught your wrist again, "Y/N, don't-"

Once again, you'll never forget the face of heartbreak written all over his face as you pulled your wrist away with a sigh, "Thanks for speaking to me, Sungchan. Good luck for tomorrow."

You don't dare look back as the bubbly Jiyoon slid into the chair you were once occupying.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Minjeong has her arms crossed in your doorway with a pointed look directed at you.

"Why aren't you ready?" she squinted her eyes menacingly at your slumbering position on the bed, "We're going to be late! You're lucky I asked Sunghoon to save us two seats."

You pulled the covers over your head, "I'm not going. Leave without me."

The little pitter-patter of her footsteps on your hardwood floors echoes before she ripped the sheets away from you, "And why is that?"

You made grabby-hands at the duvet, but she tossed it behind her. You gave her your best innocent look and produced a cough, "I'm sick?"

Minjeong scoffed loudly and tugged on your arm, "I'm not taking no for an answer, missy. This is your final first game of the season! And we're playing our rival team, so show some school spirit."

"But 'Jeong," you whined in protest as she threw open your wardrobe and began to search for your school merch.

"You don't have to see him if you don't want to," she sighed empathetically, "We'll run away as soon as it's done, but you loved school football games, right?"

It's about the time you realised that Minjeong wasn't going to let up on her insisting, so you slipped on the crop top and jacket with your school's logos and shimmied into the skirt she was making you wear, despite the temperature outside. Arm in arm, but in measured silence, the two of you fast-walked to the football arena that was only 15 minutes from your house. Thankfully the game hadn't yet started when you two clambered into the seats between Sunghoon, Heeseung's friend, and Anton.

"It's nice to see you again, Y/N!" Sunghoon grinned, taking you into a hug, "Did you miss Korea while you were gone?"

"Of course, but it was nice to experience a new culture for a bit," you replied, trying your hardest to keep your eyes off the pitch where the teams were getting into their positions, "How's the skating?"

"I won college nationals this year," he said proudly, to which you clapped and congratulated him. He was truly one of the school's pride and joy, but he didn't want to take it any further than collegiate sport, "Anyway, are you going to the after-party later? It's at the Rho Zeta house."

Minjeong's face planted into your right shoulder, "We are!"

"Jeong! You said we're leaving straight after the game!" you protested, turning your body to face her's.

"Yeah, to the party," she cackled, slapping an arm around her cousin's shoulders, "Tell her, Chanyoung. We're going to the party, right?"

His eyes suddenly turned pleading and you knew you were doomed for, "C'mon, Y/N! It's the first party of the year win or lose so you have to come."

Sunghoon looked at you with expectant eyes too and you honestly believed they were about three seconds away from begging on their knees when you rolled your eyes and dismissed them. Minjeong took this as a win and began to cheer, while also redirecting your attention back to the game in front of you.

When you were dating/not-dating, you used to come to every one of Sungchan's games wearing his jersey rain or shine. That's how you gained the status of being one of the most notorious couples in the grade. You didn't know why, but you were glad to see that no other girl was sporting his name and number on their back from what you could see. They weren't a famous team; they didn't sell jerseys with the players' names in the school store, so you were a little bit relieved to realise Sungchan wasn't giving out his jerseys to girls left, right and centre in your absence.

What was evident though, was the rambunctious screaming every time the ball fell at his feet. He was one of the team's star players along with Heeseung and Lee Minho, so you weren't surprised. However, the cheering had definitely stepped up a notch ever since he checked himself into the gym while you were gone.

The game passed by pretty quickly. Both defences were very good, so there weren't many goals scored. Heeseung had scored two both assisted by Sungchan and the other team had done the same. Though the game ended in a eventful tie, the crowd was still buzzing with pride and school spirit. Through the streets around the arena and the campus, you could hear them chanting some school songs.

"Are we meeting Heeseung there?" you asked Minjeong curiously as you walked together towards Greek row. Sunghoon had disappeared after the win to find some of his friends before the party, meanwhile Chanyoung was whisked away by Seunghan into the crowd

"Yeah, they'll be a while before they get to the house, I think. I know I was heavy persuading you earlier, but you're actually fine with coming to the party, right? You can tell me if not," her eyebrows are stitched together in worry, but you just link arms again and continued walking.

"It'll be nice to go out and do my normal things," you reassured her.

The Rho Zeta house was one that was very familiar to you. It was a house you had spent many a nights in during your second year when Sungchan lived at his frat house. You wondered if he stayed there or moved out with his friends.

There's some rushing freshmen on the door duty and you were let in swiftly when Minjeong uttered your names. Though Heeseung was a member of a different fraternity, the friends and partners of the football team were always invited to the post-game ragers. Making your way down to the basement where most people chose to spend their time, you waved to Eunseok in the kitchen making cocktails.

A fair few spectators had already made it to the party after the game finished, knocking back their third, fourth or fifth beer or beverage of choice already. When Wonbin pressed a shot into your hand and clinked it with the one in his, you had no choice but to chug it down with a grimace. Before you knew it, Eunseok was tipping back a cup of mojito down your throat and you and Minjeong were doing shots of tequila with your arms intertwined.

The Rho Zeta basement was expansive, but very busy. There were people playing beer pong in one corner (Sohee was losing badly to a grinning Anton) meanwhile sober monitor Shotaro was trying to pry the darts out of a drunk Seunghan's grip before he could try to throw them and potentially hurt someone. You swore that they kept those locked away in a cabinet during parties, but Seunghan was always a crafty guy.

Endless bodies swayed in the gaps of the basement to the rhythm of the music- the music being the mixes that Nu Sigma Tau alumni Johnny Suh was producing from his speakers in the far corner. He was truly a man stuck in his college days, but he always provided the best tunes. You had lost track of time early into the night before losing track of Minjeong completely when the football team arrived. You hid behind Johnny's equipment, making small (loud) talk with him about what he had been getting up to. In the corner of your eye, you had spotted Sungchan hovering in the crowds since he was probably a whole head taller than most of the attendees.

"I heard what happened to you and our bambi over there," Johnny uttered nonchalantly as he prodded at some buttons that you could never grasp the use of, "How's that working out?"

"It's the consequences of my own actions," you hummed sadly, "I've never regretted anything more."

"Does he know that?"

You flick your glance to the guy chatting with his best friend Eunseok by the wall, "I think I owe it to him to let him move on. There's so many girls interested in him since I left."

"And clearly he rejected all those girls if he came alone. I'm banishing you from my booth, so go talk to him." Johnny cooed at you before pushing you lightly away and into the crowd with a wave.

After the fiasco that was the café and Jiyoon, you certainly weren't prepared to face Sungchan. What could you even say to him? That you were burning with jealousy that you couldn't help but run away?

Yizhuo and Giselle occupied your time for a little bit on the couches, but once the smell of sweaty party goers began to invade your senses even while getting progressively drunker, you dashed/stumbled up to the second floor living room that was always much more chilled out.

"Y/N!" Soobin cried out excitedly as you entered the large room. He was already reaching over to offer you a beer, which you took. Behind Soobin's tall stature, you don't even notice the people sat in a circle behind him, "We're playing truth or dare."

Soobin was one of your friends you made in a club you joined in your freshman year. You didn't speak to him very much over text, but the two of you always had a good time when seeing each other. He wrapped his large hand around your wrist and dragged you over to sit in the circle. You recognised a few familiar faces as you cast your eyes around, namely Karina and some of Heeseung's friends, but your heart dropped when you saw Sungchan and Jiyoon sat cross-legged next to each other a few spaces to right of Soobin.

Even in your state, you weren't so much of a masochist to stay and watch. Leaning over to Soobin's ear, you whispered, "Shit Bin, I think I'm gonna sit this one out."

"No," he whined like a baby, "I haven't seen you in a year, so stay!"

His protest was so loud that it called the attention of some of your other friends who all drunkenly pouted and pleaded for you to stay. Some guy who you recognised as Sunwoo reached over the space in the middle and spun the bottle. You kept your eyes trained on it as spun around and around, praying it wouldn't land on you. A sigh of relief left your mouth as it fell on Chaerin, who quickly chose dare.

"Text your most recent ex and tell them that you miss them!" Sunwoo giggled through his drink.

As you nursed your own drink, you mirrored Chaerin's grimace and fought all your might to avoid looking at Sungchan. You would be horrified to have received that. Chaerin gingerly pulled out her phone and typed a few words before flashing her screen around the circle as proof. She then grabbed the bottle and spun it harshly.

"Jiwoo, truth or dare?" Chaerin taunted. Your eyes flashed to her figure momentarily as she giggled and chose dare as well.

"Kiss the person you'd most want to date."

You don't think you've ever felt such burning sadness as you watched Jiwoo quickly grab Sungchan's face and bring it down to hers for a quick peck. The grip on your bottle was nearly enough to smash the glass into a million pieces the way your heart was breaking.

It took everything in you not to get up and run away, especially when the alcohol in your bloodstream was making you feel your emotions ten times as strong. You couldn't make it about you- Sungchan didn't deserve that. The rest of the group's eyes had already turned to you after Jiwoo's kiss, considering that you and Sungchan never really kept it much of a secret. Even Karina  was making 'are you okay?' eyes at you from across the circle. You simply gave her a subtle nod and a smile as Jiwoo spun the bottle too.

"You and Sungchan aren't back together?" Soobin dropped his face low to your ear.

"Does it look like we are, Soob?" you exhaled, watching Nayoung give Jay a drunk and joking lap dance.

"Shit," he breathed out under his breath, "Sorry I made you stay."

"It's okay. I should move on anyway, right?" you smiled assuringly at him. You don't think you've ever given such a fake smile in your life.

"Y/N," Soobin trailed off, trying to pry the bottle that you were sipping on away from your hands, "Should we go?"

"No, it's fine," you gritted out, pointing at the bottle spinning to direct his attention. Your heart dropped as it landed on you.

"Truth or dare, Y/N?" Jay mumbled.

You weren't going to risk it; Jay was known for giving batshit ideas, so you settled on, "Truth."

"How many people did you sleep with or kiss on your year abroad?" he smirked.

"Zero," you deadpanned instantly, "For both."

Jay pouted at your boring answer, but gestured for you to choose the next person. It landed on Yuri, who chose dare bravely. You were starting to dissociate a little, but managed to murmur some dare about giving her phone to Sunghoon and letting him post whatever on her story.

The game continued a while with you trying to focus as much as possible at burning a hole through the glass of your drink with Soobin asking you if you were okay every couple of minutes. It was hard not to turn your head and steal glances at Sungchan and Jiwoo, whose laugh reverberated through the room, your bones and then into your heart.

You were certain Jiwoo was a nice girl, but where did she come from? All your friends convinced you that Sungchan hadn't entertained anyone despite the newfound attention that you leaving brought to him and even his friends never mentioned anything when they would occasionally talk to you. Surely Jiwoo and Sungchan were close, right? Close enough for them to be recommending each other things to do in the summer and close enough for Jiwoo to quite literally kiss him in front of everyone.

"Sungchan, truth or dare?" an unfamiliar voice caused your head to slowly lift up.

"Dare," it's the first time you've heard his voice the whole game.

"Kiss the person you'd want to date in this room."

A light gasp escaped nearly everyone's lips as you examined the smirking player. You definitely didn't recognise him; maybe he was a freshman. His eyes were darting with a cheeky glint between Sungchan and Jiwoo, assuming that he was setting up a couple by echoing Chaerin's earlier dare for him.

"Taesan, choose a different dare," Karina's voice boomed as she directed laser eyes towards the boy. He instantly frowned.

"Why? It's fun!"

"Choose a different dare," Soobin repeated next to you.

In that moment, you wanted the world to just cave in and swallow you up whole. You didn't think that you could bare to watch your ex-boyfriend- the one who held your heart but the one whose heart you stomped all over- kiss another girl in a confession. Despite that, you were completely paralysed in your spot, cross legged and head having turned to Sungchan's direction.

At the same time that Karina began to get up and say, "Y/N, let's go downstairs,", Sungchan had pushed himself out of his seat under the watchful eyes of Jiwoo.

"Fuck it," he had laughed dryly.

Your vision changed in a moment's notice. Sungchan was staring straight into your eyes bearing the emotions of pleading. Pleading to ask you if what he was about to do was okay.

You think that you probably nodded unconsciously, because in an instant, Sungchan's plump lips found yours again for the first time in a year. They slotted perfectly in between your hesitant mouth, but like a reflex, your brain had finally connected to your body again and started moving against him.

Similar to the earlier gasps from all those who had known about your history together, the whole group had gasped and fell silent as they watched the scene unfold.

The kiss was not gentle at all. He moved against you harshly, desperately and his hands on your cheeks burned your skin, lighting a thousand flames inside you. Sungchan tasted a bit like the beer he was drinking, but also like the cherry lip balm that you had once bought for him and got him addicted to in the past. It caught you so off guard that you fell back onto your hands behind you, causing him to push deeper against you.

You were both panting when he finally pulled away.

"Y/N," he murmured lowly against your lips, "Let's go to my room."

You remembered getting up. You remembered his fingers interlacing between yours. You remembered practically running through the corridors to reach his familiar door at the end. You remembered Sungchan pressing you up against the wall inside his room and connecting his lips to your neck.

Then you don't remember anything after.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

The next time your brain registers you're awake, there's a swirling in your stomach and something rising up your throat. In the lamp-lit glow of the seemingly strange room, you peeled the duvet off your sweating form and made a bee-line straight to the bathroom.

You didn't realise how you even knew there was a bathroom behind the door you had opened until a familiar hand was pulling your hair away from your face and rubbing your back as you emptied out the contents of your guts into the toilet.

"It's okay, baby," he cooed sweetly. The term of endearment flew over your head pretty much immediately, but your heart probably skipped a quick beat.

Tears brimmed at your lashes and threatened to spill as you hurled and hurled. How much had you had to drink?

"Sungchan?" you croaked out in between heaves.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm here," he whispered into the dark, "You're in my room at the frat house."

Binge drinking wasn't a common reoccurrence of your freshman and sophomore days, but when you did, you always threw up in the middle of the night and became disorientated. You never knew where you were and how you got there.

When you finally finished throwing up, Sungchan had already tied your hair back with a tie he found on your wrist and had pulled you up against his body in the bathroom. With the lamp in his room on and the door open, you could make out his sleepy figure and messy hair in the mirror.

"Here, wash your face and brush your teeth," the toothbrush he handed you was old, but you recognised it as the one you kept in his room for the nights you would sleep over. Despite the banging headache and the questions floating around in your head, you managed to follow his instructions. There was no makeup left on your face from what you could tell, so someone must have taken a wipe to your face. You just splashed some water to refresh yourself and brushed your teeth to get the nasty taste out of your mouth.

Looking down, you were still in the skirt and college top from the party, but your socks and shoes had been replaced with fluffy socks that you loved to sleep in and all of your jewellery removed. Sungchan was waiting at the edge of his bed, eyes only half opened until you stepped back into the room again.

It looked the same as when you left, with a few pictures of you together removed in places. There were some weights in the corner too, but otherwise, it was a picture perfect reflection of before, as if time never passed.

"What happened? What am I doing here?" your throat burned from all the heaving you had been doing, but Sungchan passed you a water bottle and a pill, "All I remember was the game and you kissing me."

"We went to my room, but you passed out pretty quick," Sungchan recounted, "Sorry I kissed you. I slept on the floor, by the way."

You noticed the pillow and blanket missing from the bed. From the digital clock on Sungchan's desk, you could see it was still only 4am.

"Thanks for taking care of me. I'll catch a taxi home now," you looked around the room for your shoes, "Sorry for the vomit and stuff."

Sungchan rose to his feet, "Y/N, just stay. It's dangerous for you to leave at this time and you need to rest. It's okay. If it makes you uncomfortable, I can sleep in Eunseok's room."

Although your brain was blaring alarm signals in your mind and telling you to get out of there before anything else tragic could happen, your heart belonged to the bed that you missed sharing with him.

You sighed heavily and crawled back under the covers. With your eyes closed, you bared your true feelings into the silent room, "Please stay."

"Okay," he hummed, walking over to the other side of the bed where you assumed that he set up the pillow and blanket.

"Can you sleep with me? On the bed?" your voice was so quiet and hesitant despite your state that Sungchan didn't know if he just conjured that in his imagination until you spoke again, "Please?"

You shuffled over closer to your side of the bed closer to the door. He slid in on his side, closer to the window. Your head was spinning even lying down and you could feel yourself slipping out of consciousness already as his body heat combined with yours to wrap you up in a comfortable and familiar sensation.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm lying. I'm not sorry I kissed you. I'm sorry that you had to see her kiss me though."

"Why?"

"I'd never want you to think that I want anyone else other than you."

Your awareness faded into nothingness as you felt Sungchan's hands slip in between yours under the sheets.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

"Y/N? What the fuck happened last night? Karina texted me and said some shit went down upstairs and you disappeared with Sungchan?" Minjeong's voice was laced with worry as she rushed to the door the second you stepped through.

Although she looked as haggard as you, she was much more preoccupied about where you went after she handed you your 3rd mojito of the night. You winced at her volume, "My head hurts like shit, Jeong. And my heart too."

"Jay told me what happened. Are you okay?" Heeseung's voice was quieter as you entered the open plan living space. He was sat on your couch with a bowl of cereal in the space between his crossed legs and Minjeong's iPad playing some TV show on the coffee table.

"Y/N? Hello?" Minjeong waved in your face.

"I don't want to talk about it, guys," you groaned, "Some girl kissed him. He kissed me. We went to his room. I passed out immediately and woke up throwing up. That's all."

"You didn't talk? Not this morning?" she prodded on.

It was only 11am. Your face involuntary cringed with regret.

Minjeong gasped dramatically, "Y/N, if you tell me right now that you left before he even woke up, I'm literally going to kill you. Y/N, that's such shitty behaviour. Honestly."

"Please don't make me feel worse than I already do," you sniffled as her words brought tears to your eyes, "I literally don't know what to do. All I want to do is let him go for his sake, but he keeps dragging me back to him."

She wrapped you up in a tight hug and smoothed out your hair, "Y/N, just go back to his room and tell him how you feel. Let him tell you how he feels too. You're going to keep going around in circles if you keep running from him, and it's going to end in heartbreak again."

You cried into her shoulders for a few minutes in sheer frustration, until she pushed you out of the door and made Heeseung drive you mid-bowl of cereal to the frat house to make sure you actually went inside.

On your grand exit out of the house that you prayed would go unnoticed, you had ran into Shotaro in the living room cleaning. He had given you a disappointed look, but your pleading eyes convinced him not to say anything as you slipped out of the door shortly after waking up. The expression on your face must have told him that you were sneaking away from his best friend.

It was Shotaro who opened the door for you when you knocked just 20 minutes after you left.

"You came to your senses?" Shotaro quirked an eyebrow at you as he stepped aside to let you in. You waved goodbye to Heeseung as he drove back in the direction he came in.

"I'm sorry, Taro."

"I'm not the one you should be saying that to," he sighed defeatedly, "Please don't hurt him again, Y/N. I love you both, but please."

All you could give him was a faltering smile as you ascended up to the second floor again. There were still some cups and miscellaneous items left strewn around the house, so you assumed that the frat brothers were mostly still asleep.

You tiptoed up to Sungchan's room and knocked three times, lightly, before pushing the door open. He was still curled up tightly on his side of the bed, cuddling a stuffed bear that you got him. It was exactly how you found him when you woke up again in the morning.

His face was so peaceful and angelic when he slept, soft snores escaping between his parted lips. In the past, you used to wake him up by peppering kisses on his smooth skin until he woke up. He used to wake up confused, until a smile would invade his face when he realised you were there. It used to make your heart feel all tight and warm in the best way possible.

Your breath hitched when Sungchan stirred to face his body towards you. Though his eyes stayed close, his breathing became noticeably shallower.

"You left," his voice was mercifully devoid of accusation, but it made your heart split down the middle all the same.

"I'm so sorry," it was pathetic, but that was all you could bring yourself to say.

Unwrapping his arm out from the tangle with his stuffed plushie, he patted the empty space on the bed that was still a bit warm. The weight of your body dropping onto the bed caused him to scooch a bit closer to you with his eyes still firmly closed.

"Can we just stop being sorry now? You're back now with no plans to leave again, so why do you keep running away from me?"

"Sungchan," you breathed out his name, but he opened his mouth again.

"I'll prove to you that all I want is still you. There's no one else, Y/N. You hurt me a lot, but I know you didn't want to. Let's give it another go. Do it properly and call each other boyfriend and girlfriend," his lips tugged up into a soft smile.

You didn't even know when you started crying but at the sound of your sniffle, his hands came up to wipe at your cheeks.

"Why are you crying?"

"What did I do to deserve someone like you? You deserve someone better," you choked out through your hot tears.

He let out a soft laugh as his eyes finally opened slowly and met yours, "Stop asking questions and saying sorry and just accept that I want to love you, Y/N."

His words triggered a waterfall of tears to stream down your face, but he pulled you down into the bed with him and wrapped you up in his arms tightly. It felt like home again.

"I loved you, Sungchan. I did."

He brushed the hair out of your face and planted a searing kiss on your temple, "I know, Y/N. I knew. Stop crying and go back to sleep with me. It'll all be okay when we wake up. I promise, baby."

He tucked his bear into your grasp and pulled the sheets over your bodies again. His arms returned around you and he continued to press the most gentle touches of his lips on your forehead, your temples, your nose and finally onto your lips that held back choked sobs until you slipped out of consciousness.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

"I wanna know everything you did in New York," Sungchan requested softly as he swung next to you. On the walk to your apartment from his that he accompanied you on after you both woke up, you spotted the playground equidistant between both residences empty. The two of you had spent a few nights there in the past swinging beside each other and talking, so it seemed perfect to go there again to talk- somewhere public and open.

You texted Minjeong that you were on the way back to your flat to change and freshen up and she kindly left with Heeseung as to not make the situation any more awkward or tense by having them meet in such a circumstance. Sungchan just sprawled in your bed and scrolled on his phone as you showered, changed and applied your skincare. After a night of drinking, throwing up and not moisturising after washing your face in the middle of the night, your skin had been going through it. When you plugged in your hairdryer and made him scooch over silently so you could sit on the bed, Sungchan had sat up and taken the dryer out of your grasp, motioning for you to turn around.

"Someone's watched Queen of Tears," you humoured over at him as the humming and heat began to fill the room.

"Just like the entire country," he jested back, "I guess we're a bit like them."

"Chaebols who get married and hate each other until one of them gets a seemingly incurable illness?" through the mirror at the end of your bed, you saw Sungchan roll his eyes playfully.

"Two people that find their way back to each other," he had corrected softly.

His words struck you silent, just watching him direct the dryer at your hair while thoughts swarmed in your head. You weren't sure if your neck was burning up from the dryer or from his fingers bumping against your skin every so often.

Since the two of you woke up, you could probably count on your hands how many times you'd spoken. You'd settled into this comfortable, but weighted silence knowing that sooner or later you'd probably have to properly talk to navigate the events of the night prior. You had delayed it a bit by asking to go home and change and he walked you all the way wordlessly other than suggesting to go to the park after.

When you were done getting ready, the two of you made your way to the park. This time, Sungchan had grabbed your hand firmly in his at the very first instance of your skin brushing. He was much more bold than when you had left.

"What do you want to know?" you quirked an eyebrow as he kicked off the ground to swing higher.

"If it was everything you dreamed of. If you missed home. If you made friends," he listed out, looking over at you.

You sighed and thought back. Over the past few weeks since you'd been back, everyone had asked you the same questions. For the most part, you had given the same answer to all of them robotically, but you felt like Sungchan deserved a bit more than your usual spiel.

"The city was incredible. New York was always my dream. I got to travel a little around the country too, so that was nice. It got really lonely pretty quickly, even though I made a lot of friends. It's just so busy and everyone has their own thing," you recounted slowly, "I missed home as soon as I left, but I do miss the friends I made in New York. America is very different to Seoul though."

"Did you mean what you said at the party? There was no one else?" his voice was shaky as he asked. You knew it wasn't something he took lightly.

"I wouldn't lie to you," you affirmed strongly, "I really did miss you and regretted everything the second I left. I was too ashamed to admit my mistake, so I'm sorry for hurting you unnecessarily. I don't regret going to New York, but I regret leaving you."

He stops the swing by planting his feet firmly. His eyes bore into yours as he tried to analyse your emotions.

"I grew a lot in that year apart, so I guess I should thank you for that. I learned that I should fight for what I want and I think we can be better this time around," Sungchan nodded, "And I missed you a lot. I keep saying it, but I just want you to know I never hated you or thought of you in anger while you were away."

The silence that followed must have freaked him out a little because he quickly continued.

"And about Jiyoon. Just, um, ignore her, please. I never knew she felt that way and I promise that I never acted in a way that might have conveyed that I felt the same," Sungchan blurted out with wide eyes, "I just- didn't know how to bring you up to her. We honestly didn't see each other very much; she just exaggerated."

You giggled a little at his panic and reached over the iron links to take his hand, "I trust you, Sungchan. You were free to do anything you wanted, but still, I trust you. You're allowed to have friends."

With a squeeze of his hand, Sungchan stood up and loomed over you on your swing. He tugged softly to get you up on your feet and clasped his hands around your waist when you did. Sungchan pulled you close to him, chest to chest.

Gasping, you looked around to make sure the playground was still empty, "Sungchan!"

He nuzzled his face down, close against yours with your foreheads pressed together, "You're all I could ever want. Please don't leave me again."

Your body completely melted into his as you brought your cold hands up to his warm cheeks. Bravely, you pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, just barely missing his lips, "I won't, Channie."

"Is it too fast to tell you I love you? I've been waiting to say it for over a year," Sungchan pulled his head back and scrunched his face up, "Does that make me too much of a loser? Being this down bad for you?"

All the tension and stress left your body; you could finally return to normal and joke with Sungchan as you giggled into his neck, "Maybe. Do you not want to be?"

"No, I love you," he chuckled along, grazing his nose against yours again before pressing his warm lips on yours.

His lips were pillowy, parting your lips and allowing him to push deeper. He was much more gentle this time than the night before, but a squeeze on your waist caused your breath to hitch and allowed him to run tongue along your bottom lip. You could feel the outpour of emotions in his kiss and how desperate he was to let you know them.

In the year without Sungchan, your heart grew fonder and fonder and you thought to yourself how you were never going to waste another minute with him.

Sungchan had been the first to pull away, looking down at you with half-lidded, passion-filled eyes, "Let's go back before some family comes and reports us to the police."

"Ha, for doing what?" you teased, hooking your fingers around his belt loops.

His eyes transformed into a glare as he stepped away from you and moved towards the exit, "Very funny, Y/N. Yours or mine?"

"Mine," you shrugged, "Minjeong's out with Heeseung and your frat brothers are all home and hungover."

Sungchan just grinned at you, swinging an arm around your shoulder and pulling you tight to his body, "I can't wait to tell everyone you're mine again."

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

The last game of the season was the national finals. You had been nervous all week watching Sungchan leave every day for extra practice when he usually only trained once a week with the team.

With a cup of cola in one hand and a cardboard sign in the other, you fought through the crowd on the bleachers to find the available seat between some of your friends. Minjeong was already settled in her seat, scolding Seunghan and Sohee for playing with her I <3 Heeseung homemade headband.

"You made it!" Chanyoung clapped happily as you sat between him and his older cousin. On the other side of him, the rest of the boys waved at you excitedly.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, of course!" you beamed. The whole arena was vibrating with excitement as nearly the whole student population turned up for the game. It was the final big event in the school calendar before the stress of final exams took over, so everyone was letting their hair down a little.

There was a section of supporters of the other team tucked away in the corner, but otherwise the people meshed together in a sea of your school colours. They had won the draw as to which school the game would be played at. You yourself was sporting a jersey nearly identical to the one that Sungchan would be coming out in soon. The shirt on his back fit his frame nicely, but it draped over you like a dress.

"Channie's gonna play good tonight because his lucky charm's here," Wonbin snorted teasingly, "He was shit all of last season."

"Wonbin," Eunseok hissed, but you just laughed with the long-haired boy.

"I'm really excited. I know they'll win." you waved the "GO #23" sign towards them.

You watched the field in anticipation as they ran out to erupting cheers from the supporters and watched as Sungchan searched the crowds for his group of friends as soon as they settled in a line. He waved in a small gesture, but all of you stood up and flailed your hands everywhere. You shook the sign vigorously and watched as his face contorted in awe and appreciation.

The game was absolutely nerve wracking. Your arms were interlocked and clutched tightly with Minjeong's and the two of you moved like one being standing up to shout at bad referee decisions or cheer at good tackles. Heeseung and Sungchan were playing well up front together, dominating the field so far with a few decent shots on target. Being the most dangerous on the field, the other team's defence were taking them on left, right and centre, causing your faces to be stuck in a permanent grimace for the first half.

Seunghan tried to start a cheer at half-time and that provided enough entertainment for your group when it miserably failed to notice the passage of time. In fresh shirts and refreshed motivation, your team went all out and scored 2 goals. Heeseung's celebrations towards Minjeong were sweet and had her swooning with flushed cheeks.

The other team had managed to score a goal, but in the 87th minute, Sungchan had broken away from his marker around the halfway line and poured all of his might into completing his run to the goal. The goalkeeper had a lot of time to anticipate Sungchan's goal, but his left foot was powerful enough to send the ball hurtling past the keeper's fingers and into the back of the net.

Screaming and yelling in joy, Sungchan slid in the direction of your friends and blew kisses in your direction. Beaming ear to ear, you deafened your friends with your ecstatic whoops. His teammates jumped on his body and then dragged him back to his position for the final 3 minutes.

Safe to say, they won the final.

After a celebration with medals, Prosecco and school cheers, you were waiting in the lobby just outside the changing rooms.

Sohee was talking your ear off about some game that he had started playing with Seunghan when a hand snaked around your waist and you felt the flutter of lips hovering over your neck.

"There's my girl. Hi, baby," he murmured against you. After sweating for 90 minutes, the boys definitely all had to take showers, so his hair was still slightly dripping over the jersey on your back.

"Channie, I'm so proud of you. Congratulations!" spinning around in his grip, you hooked your arms around his neck as he buried his head in yours.

"Your support meant everything to me. Thank you for the banner! I have the best girlfriend ever," he pulled back and beamed down at you, planting a peck on your expectant lips.

Despite having been officially his girlfriend for over 6 months now, the title still made your heart flutter to this day. You'd never forgive your past self from depriving yourself from having Sungchan as you had him now. Despite being the sweetest companion in your early university days, he had held himself back a little due to your hesitation.

Now that you were all in, Sungchan showered you with love, praise and support in anything you did. You tried your best to reciprocate and most days, it felt like your heart could explode every time you looked at him from how your love seemed to grow more and more every day.

He was the perfect gentleman and the perfect boyfriend. He brought you snacks whenever you had to stay late at the library and tucked you tight in his chest under the covers on the days that the world seemed to be collapsing - it never did, maybe thanks to him.

In short, adoring Sungchan became part of your daily routine. A task that you were happy to continue for the rest of your life.

"And I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world," you rested your cheek against his chest as you squeezed him tighter, "I love you, Sungchan."

His heartbeat thumped in your ear as he smoothed out your hair with his palm. The rhythm was strong and constant, as dependable as he was. You felt the love in his touch, no need for words.

Jung Sungchan was a man of his word. As long as you stayed by each other's side, everything would be okay. The world continues to spin. Your heart continues to beat for him.

[61below]

Yesterday while I was gassing up, I saw ravens raiding the garbages at the other pump station. So I walked over to my door, grabbed my phone to take a picture, and …. idfk, my brain realized I was standing next to my open car door and it was like *zzzip* Next Step: < sit in car > Initiated

Guess which bitch sat down, shut the door, started the car, and drove off with the gas pump still in my car 🤦🏻‍♀️

Now I have to wait for ‘oh don’t worry just give us your contact info, if there’s any damages we’ll let you know’ to drop. At least I got a sick pic of these ravens having a snack.

neurotypicals are so funny sometimes. “well, just don’t forget it next time.” holy shit. you’ve done it. you’ve fixed me. who knew memory problems could be solved so simply? i am no longer autistic, i am ready to join you at the social function. by god.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch 10: You’re My Mission

Summary: The Asgardian Staff case is wrapped up but before Katie and Steve can be re-united, the Super Soldier has a mission of his own to complete. Their reunion doesn’t disappoint, and as she weighs up the events of the past few months, Katie reaches a conclusion about her future with SHIELD

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Smut (NSFW)  over 18s only thanks. Bit of bad language….

A/N: Another lovely edit from @angrybirdcr​ of Katie in action.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 9

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 Tarim. Yemen. The hottest place Steve had ever been. Ever. And a place he had no desire to go back to. Ever. 

As far as he was concerned, this whole mission had been a cluster fuck of epic proportions. The Mercs they had been sent in to deal with were slightly more ruthless than they had anticipated, taking a group of school kids from the square hostage. Evans and Rollins (in Katie’s absence) managed to contain most of them, taking them down with non-fatal injuries, as was the agreement with the Government, but one of them wasn’t going quietly and had snatched up a kid as he made a break for it.

The Yemeni Special Forces were on their way, and Steve knew that if they arrived permission to execute a kill shot would be given. But even that was dangerous, as the guy had the kid held in such a position, his back to a wall, her held across his chest, that the angle would have been impossible. Steve ordered the team to lower their weapons, and stepped forward, hoping to talk the man down. And then Rumlow had taken a shot, off-loading a bullet straight between the Merc’s eyes.

And Steve was mad, mad as a wasp.

“I gave you a direct order…” He stood, hands on his belt in the jet as he looked at Rumlow, the nerve in his jaw twitching.

“I made a call.” Rumlow shrugged “If I hadn’t they would have gotten away…”

“You put those civilians lives in danger.”

“That’s a little dramatic…”

“Yeah, come on Cap.” Rollins spoke.“The kid was fine, we got the weapons Government were ok…no harm done.”

Steve rounded on him, his blasé tone set his teeth on edge.

“That isn’t the point.” he blazed “I wouldn’t have asked Barton to take a shot like that. I wasn’t, and never will be, willing to risk anyone’s life like that, not to mention that of a child, for collateral damage, just to get what we need. It makes us no better than the people we’re trying to stop.”

“It worked didn’t it?” Rumlow shrugged

“Sheer luck.” Steve retorted.

“Well sometimes you just get lucky.” The STRIKE leader shrugged. 

Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn’t need this shit.

“Look Cap, with all due respect, I’ve been running this team for years. You don’t get to do our job without taking a bit of risk.” Rumlow looked at him. “Now I’m sorry if you feel I was challenging your authority…”

“It has nothing to do with my authority.” Steve blazed at him.

“Really? Because that’s what it looks like from my position.” Rumlow shook his head “I’m sorry you feel this way. But it isn’t as simple as that. Life isn’t split into good guys and bad guys, it ain’t black and white… more shades of grey.”

Steve didn’t reply, he simply stared at Rumlow, his eyes raging before he moved away to a seat for take-off next to Natasha.

“Let it go Rogers.” She drawled softly to him. “You’ve chewed him out…you want my advice, leave it there.”

Steve didn’t reply. He was pissed and didn’t trust himself to say anything. He hadn’t heard from Katie so far today, but he wasn’t expecting to as he’d fired her a message last night, or this morning (he had no idea what time-zone he was in anymore) to tell her he was off on an urgent mission.

It was pathetic, he knew, but being away from her was really setting him on edge. Not just because he found jerking off in the shower was far less satisfactory now than before he’d actually started sleeping with her, but more so he was missing the stupid things, like her draping her legs over his on the couch whilst she was reading, her singing when she was cooking, the way she laughed till she cried at Brooklyn Nine-Nine, even demanding he make her a grilled cheese at 02:50 am…

Steve watched with amusement as the girls walked out of the bar, a little shaky, Katie leaning on Natasha laughing at something. He’d dropped them both off earlier in the evening and said he would pick her up later, even though they said they would get a cab. He had insisted, he loved looking after her and that was what boyfriends did right? Picked their dames up. However, as they teetered over to Katie’s car, it looked like he was about to inherit a pair of drunken, giggling idiots to look after, and the thought made him smile with fondness.

“Hi baby!” Katie greeted him as she climbed into the seat. She leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek and he smiled.

“You had fun? You look like you have.”

“Fun is my middle name Rogers.” Nat winked and Katie sniggered in the seat next to him as he pulled the car off from the curb.

“Nat’s gonna stay at mine.” Katie turned to look at him, her cheeks tinged pink with the alcohol “Afterparty!”

“Don’t you think you’ve both had enough?” He teased and. Katie put her fingers to her lips and told him to shush whilst Nat leaned forward.

“Just because you can’t get drunk.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Whatever, your funeral Romanoff.” He smirked, eyes on the road.

“God he’s so sensible, how do you cope?” Nat looked at Katie. Through the corner of his eye he saw a wicked smile cross his girls face.

“He has hidden talents” She quipped, before the two women descended into fits of giggles.

Steve let out an exasperated noise through his nose, but secretly he didn’t mind. He loved that she’d had a good time, even if he had the sneaking suspicion he’d been the butt of a few jokes, probably even a few risqué girl chats too.

“Hey, yoooo wanted to come get us..” Katie picked up on the noise he had made and looked at him. “Can’t stand the heat stay the fuck out the…” she paused “erm…”

“Kitchen?” Steve supplied, looking at her, left hand on the wheel, amused grin on his face

“Yeah, that.” She pointed.

“Kitchen is very much your domain sweetheart”

“Not what I heard” Nat chipped in. “She says you make a mean grilled cheese….”

“Oh my god.” Katie said suddenly “can you make us one?”

“What, now?” he frowned.

“Well obviously not right now as this is a carrrr” She rolled her eyes, gesturing around her “But when we get home. I’m hungry.”

He looked at her “Doll, it’s almost three in the morning.”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeese Stevie.” She pouted, batting her eyelashes at him in a ridiculously over the top manner, which he couldn’t do anything but laugh at.

“Alright I’ll make you both a grilled cheese” He nodded, unable to stop the smile creeping across his face, even when he heard Natasha burp the word “bitchwhipped” from the back seat.

Emerging from his memories, Steve lay his head back against his seat, shooting a glance over at Rumlow. The man was still being deliberately obtuse about the fact he was going out with Katie and he knew full well that the disobeying of order was a direct ‘fuck you’ aimed at him. But, as he thought about it whilst they flew home, he knew Natasha was right. The more he kept going on about it, the more likely it was to cause a bigger rift. With that in mind, during the debrief with Fury, Steve remained calm and when the time came he nodded at the STRIKE leader, giving him the floor when needed, both sticking to the facts- the operation had worked (Steve didn’t go as far as to use the word success), they had managed to seize the weapons and capture the main cartel leader who was now in custody of the Yemeni Services.

“What I wanna know is why are there so many of these weapons turning up?” Evans asked. “The DODC ran an extensive clean-up operation.”

“They were littered all over the New York, spreading the entire Manhatten area.” Steve said, answering as he looked at the Texan. “The DODC did as much as it could as fast as it could but people were already out there taking bits for themselves before the Chitauri had even been stopped. Katie says they’re still tracking through any leads, sifting out those who took them for souvenirs and those who took them for less scrupulous reasons…it could take years.”

“It was always going to happen.” Natasha shrugged “Terrorists are always looking for the next big thing.”

“Which is why we will always be looking for them.” Fury drew the meeting to an end as he stood up. “Alright, written reports to me no later than forty-eight hours. Other than that, you can head home.”

“Sir” Steve nodded as everyone started to file out. Steve noticed Natasha was hanging back.

“You ok?” She asked.

“Tired, fed up…” he sighed.

“Missing your girl?”

“A little” He admitted, before deciding to ask Nat what was on his mind because he could trust her honesty “Am I being old fashioned here, you know, with not wanting people to die?”

“No.” Natasha shook her head after a pause and he could tell she was picking her words carefully “I just think sometimes…well, we have to accept that we have to take risks.”

“You think Rumlow was right?” He sighed.

“Not as such.” she shrugged, “But I understand why he did it. I don’t necessarily agree with his methods shall we say but…”

Steve ran his hands over his face and couldn’t help thinking to himself how much simpler it had been in the war. They shot at them, they shot back. He let out a deep breath.

“You still taking some time off?“ She looked at him.

Steve shrugged and then looked at his fit bit for a second, thinking to himself the stats would make interesting reading. It was 5 in the morning. He hadn’t slept now for almost twenty-two hours bar the quick nap he had gotten on the jet. At that point his phone sounded with a message from Katie. A photo taken of Galway Bay in Ireland. Smiling at the simple message “Wish you were here.” he looked back at Natasha and nodded.

 “Yeah. I think I am.”

****

“Are you sure he’s okay to go out into the field?” Katie asked Coulson, one eye on Ward’s back. The man had just slammed a case shut, making everyone jump in the hanger and he was growing increasingly broody. Despite herself, she was feeling a pang of sympathy for him. She knew how hard it had been for him to open up about his past, and holding part of the staff had really shaken him. “He’s not exactly acting like himself.” she concluded.

“But he knows it. He’ll be fine.” Coulson replied as they walked to the SUVs. It was a short ride to the Monastary which was located just outside of Galway and Katie spent the time watching the scenery. She loved Ireland, she’d been a few times when at University in the UK. Her mind wandered to her soldier, who himself had Irish roots, his mother and father hailing from Limerick. Smiling, she pulled out her phone. She knew it would be late back in the US, it was barely touching ten am where the where and the time difference would make it the middle of the night. That is if he was back from the mission yet. Still, she took a photo of the coast road they were on skirting the edge of Galway Bay which in the November sun looked stunning, the light bouncing off the calm blue sea reminding her of those deep ocean pools she loved to look into. She sent it to Steve with a simple message ‘wish you were here’ and then shoved it back into her jacket pocket. 

The monastery itself was a beautiful gothic building set into the side of a green hill. They all climbed out and checked their weapons, Coulson once more going over the plan of action before they headed to the large front door.

 “Well, it’s been a while.” Elliot said quietly as they walked into the building, Katie taking a moment to appreciate the architecture, another thing Steve would love. “I wonder – ah, yes. There it is. Still here”.

He walked to the front of the room where a book lay set up on a stand.

“Well, the nose isn’t quite right, but…”

 Katie and Coulson walked up behind him, followed by the rest of the group to see that he was looking at a drawing of a man wearing long robes and holding the staff.

“That’s you?” Katie asked, looking at him.

“Yeah, they venerated me a bit as a saint.”

“They’re idiots” Ward spat viciously. They all spun round to look at him, where he was stood a few feet behind them all.  “Where’s the staff?”

“It’s upstairs.”

Elliot led the way, the team following up a set of spiralled staircase. Katie and Coulson were directly behind him, taking the lead with May and Ward shortly behind them as deputies.

 “It’s quiet.” May said softly

“ Why do you think I trusted them with my secret?” Elliot shrugged, still walking on ahead. He Elliot stopped in front of some sort of cabinet and ran his hand down the side before he reached for the handle. “They take a vow of silence.”

“But when you get them talking, they squeal.” A low male voice said, it’s owner appearing from behind one of the walls to the left of the cabinet, holding two pieces of the staff, one in each hand.  It was the man whose mugshot Katie had seen on the tablet earlier that day, Jakob. Suddenly he held one piece up high and stabbed Elliot in the chest with it, he fell to the floor.

 He turned and advanced on the rest of them, and Katie reached for her gun, readying herself. To her left she felt someone bend down to Elliot, presumably to try and treat him.

 “No one else wants to get hurt.” Coulson spoke to Jakob, his gun raised. Jakob cocked his head to one side, looking at it before he stared back at Coulson.

 “If you want to defeat a God, you must become one”

 Suddenly there was a loud yell and a scream. Katie spun round to see Ward had bent to Elliot, only it wasn’t to treat him, it was to retrieve the piece of the staff stuck in the Asgardian man’s chest. He held it in his hand and then suddenly threw himself at Jakob, knocking Katie and May out of the way as he went. The two men fell over the banister railing to the floor below.

Katie scrambled to her feet and looked down to see Jakob recovering from the fall first. She aimed with her gun but couldn’t get a clear shot in, as he picked Ward up like he weighed nothing and slammed him back down to the ground.

 “We need to help him!” Skye said, looking at Ward before she ran off.

“Skye!” Coulson called, he was now bent over Elliot and speaking furiously into his coms for Jemma Simmons to come help. “She can’t fight, she’s not trained…”

May nodded, “We’ll get her. Stark, with me.”

Katie nodded and ran after May, the pair of them practically jumping down the stair. Ward was now on his feet and as Jakob lunged at him, he flung himself to the right out of the way.

“Skye.” May instructed as they caught up with the dark hared girl who was watching Ward now ducking and diving the swipes from Jakob “Stay outta this…”

Both Katie and May stepped forward, but as they did so, Ward paused what he was doing and bent to grasp the part of the staff that was on the floor next to him. His face contorted in rage and when Jakob came at him again, Ward punched him hard in the face, enough to cause him to fly back against the wall where he slumped to the ground before Ward rammed him straight in the chest with the staff in a fit of rage like nothing anyone could comprehend. Ward’s chest was heaving and he spun round to see the other three agents watching him cautiously. His eyes were blazing with a fire Katie had never seen before.

“Ward.” May approached, tentatively stopping when Ward held his hand up.

“Get away from me.” His face was contorted in rage.

“Grant.”  Katie tried gently, stepping forward so she was level with May. “They’re right, that thing, this isn’t you.”

 Something clearly registered in his brain and his face softened slightly but then suddenly the door was kicked open and they whirled round to see the rest of Jakob’s group enter the monastery.  The three agents regrouped and Katie took her fighting stance, weighing up their opponents. It had been a while since she had been in a full force hand to hand combat, but she was pleased to find that her training with Natasha and Steve had kept her prepared. She dodged, ducked, punched, kicked, flipped up and over people, taking them down with her using her legs as the room filled with rowdy men and women, all yelling. May was working through them almost 2 at a time and Ward, now holding two of the staff pieces from somewhere, was easily fighting off a group of them, the power he was gaining from the staff clearly visible.

Katie grabbed one man in a choke hold just as he was trying to get up, and as he stopped struggling she threw him to the ground, and looked round at the now quiet room. May nodded at her, taking a deep breath and Katie turned to see Ward who was shaking drop both pieces of the staff he was holding and collapse to his knees. Skye hurried over and knelt in front of him.

 “Are you alright?” May looked round Katie. She nodded looking giving her a small grin, reaching up to tenderly brush at her cheekbone. One of them had landed a good shot.

“Been a long time since I had a full on fight like that, not using my guns.” she said, and May’s mouth curled up at one side before she made her way over to help Skye get Ward to his feet. Just as Katie was about to join them, the door opened again. She spun round to see another face she recognised from the photos, Jakob’s girlfriend, Petra stood there, the third piece of Staff in her hand.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me” Skye said from behind Katie.

Katie looked around glanced at May who also turned her attention to Petra as she was now circling the room. Which a quick flick of her gun, Katie aimed a shot at her, but she simply whipped the piece of staff out in front of her and it tinged the bullet off to one side.

 “We’re no match for her whilst she has that” May said and instinctively Katie glanced down at the two pieces of staff on the floor near them. Grant wearily sighed and went to pick it up but Katie dropped down on one knee and grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“You’re not in any state to do that.” she said not unkindly as she looked at him, “Let me help.”

“Kay…” he started to argue, the use of his nickname for her registered but now wasn’t the time to chastise him, nor did she really find she cared enough to do so. It was then that May cut in.

“She’s right. We can’t beat them unless we’re on a level playing field.” She shot him a look and he nodded.

“Okay.”

Skye helped Ward away as May and Katie watched Petra as two men from the group they had taken down earlier got to their feet. Petra looked round the room and let out an audible gasp as she saw Jakob’s body for the first time. Katie slowly and apprehensively reached out for a piece of the staff, hesitating for a moment as she had no idea what was going to happen when she did pick it up. May looked at her nodding and then the pair of them reached out, each gripping a piece.  Katie gasped as a warm sensation flooded up through her arm and then her head was like it was somewhere else. Which it was, she was back in what, according to Professor Randall, should be the worst moment of her life, only it wasn’t the moment she had initially thought of when he’d told them that…

Rhodey was on the doorstep of her Chelsea apartment at three am local time. She knew instantly that something was wrong. Without a word he entered, and told her that Tony’s ARV had been attacked and they had no idea where he was. She almost collapsed and he helped her over to the sofa where she sat still, tears falling as she listened. The room fell silent, and with a shaking hand she reached for the remote and turned the TV on to the News Channel, to see her Brother’s face plastered all over the screen.

“I’m sorry Kiddo…” Rhodey’s voice was choked and she turned to look at him “I should have been with him but he insisted on riding in the other ARV, the FunVee…” he shook his head, snorting angrily.

“Who’s taken him?” She asked, swallowing.

“We’re think it was an Ambush by the Ten Rings.” Rhodey swallowed. “We’ve not had a ransom note yet but we expect it’s a matter of time. We’ll find him.”

“It’s finding him alive that’s the issue, Rhodey” She wiped away the tears from her face, the sick feeling in her stomach threatening to overwhelm her and it felt like someone had a band over her chest that they were constricting, hard…and then it was to much, and she bolted to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet…

Gasping Katie took a deep breath and looked up sharply as one of the men flew at her. Letting out a yell of rage, pent up anger and hurt she launched forward as Petra did the same. Their pieces of staff blew against one another and soon they were battling, fiercely. Katie was fighting to kill, and she instantly understand what had made Ward run Jakob through with the staff. 

It felt good. 

She could hear and see in the corner of her eye that May was also tackling a few more members of the group, easily keeping them at bay but Katie was focussed on one thing, the woman in front of her. She was good, matching Katie blow for blow but eventually Katie’s tenacity and training started to win out and she began to get the edge. She swung forward with a huge swipe and knocked Petra to the ground causing the woman to drop her part of the staff. Automatically it joined with the piece Katie was holding in her right hand, glowing orange again.

“It’s been a month, Katie…” Obediah said “A month…I hate to say this but the chances of him coming back…”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Obi!” Katie wheeled round “Tony is alive, and until someone shows me any kind of evidence to the contrary…then things stay as they are, I don’t give a shit what the board say.”

She watched him out of the room before she dropped her head to the desk and began to cry. She didn’t stop, even when Pepper walked into the room and dropped an arm round her shoulder, the pair of them lost…

A crash caught Katie’s attention and she saw May had dispatched the remaining fighters. She glanced up, and saw what Katie was doing and instinctively threw her piece of staff over to her. Katie grabbed it, joining it with the other combined pieces completing the staff.

Katie gave a yell as once more that warm feeling spread up her arm to her chest and her memories swallowed her.

“Your government has for far too long sold weapons, manufactured by Mr Tony Stark, to our oppressors, to our enemies. This is blood in exchange for blood, death in exchange for death, meet our demands or within 48 hours the great Tony Stark is no more…”

The room came back into a bleary focus, just as Petra staggered to her feet, swaying slightly.

“I am not afraid of you.” She spoke, her accent thick.

“You should be…” Katie snarled, as she advanced towards her. Quick as a flash she let out a loud cry and struck Petra with the staff, hard in the face. She fell backwards to the floor, deadly still. 

And then a different voice spoke in Katie’s mind a clear voice. Her own voice.

“He escaped, though. And he was fine, well as fine as Tony ever is. So there’s really no need to fear this memory because that’s all it is, a memory. It all worked out in the end…”

Katie dropped the staff and fell to her knees, her entire body shaking with the exertion of wielding the Asgardian weapon. Her head was pounding with those memories, the voices, everything. Her hands flew into her hair as she bent over, trying to focus on anything but her thoughts.

“Hey…” Two hands were on either side of her face, and Katie looked up into May’s eyes. “Focus on me, Stark.” Katie took a deep breath as May’s hands slid gently down to the side of her shoulders. “Can you stand?” She asked. Katie nodded and then looked over at Petra.

“Is she…” She managed to croak out. Had she killed someone? In blind rage?

“Don’t worry about her” May shook her head, “I’ll take care of it.”

Katie got to her feet with May’s help, glancing over at Ward and Skye. Ward gave her a small nod of his head, which she acknowledged with a small incline of her own as May helped her out of the smaller Vestibule room they’d been fighting in and through to the entrance hall of the Monastery, the sun streaming through the stained glass windows.

“That thing…” Katie took a deep breath “Ward wasn’t wrong…it…”

“Tell me about it.” May’s voice was quiet, and Katie realised the normally stoic woman was shaking, although not quite as violently as her. The two of them settled on a large slab of stone. They were shortly joined by Ward as he sat besides them, the three of them didn’t talk for a while, merely lost in their own thoughts, Katie wanting nothing more than to get home to see Steve.

“When you held it…” Ward said eventually, breaking the silence. “Did you see anything?”

May nodded, and so did Katie.

“Then how, Kay? How did you hold all three?” Ward looked at her

She paused, thinking about it for a moment.

No need to fear this memory

“Because it’s a memory that I don’t need to be afraid of.” she shrugged eventually. “And I see the reason why every time I look at Tony.”

*****

Steve packed a bag. There was, sadly, one last mission standing between him and his girl. And he no idea how long this particular mission was going to take. It was completely rogue, way off SHIELD’s official radar anyway, only Fury and Natasha knew what he was doing.

Oh, and Tony. He’d enlisted the Billionaire’s help because had a somewhat personal interest in this case. So much so he’d leant him the Stark Jet, because he couldn’t use the Quinjet, and the fact that like everything Tony owned, his jet was faster and better than anything else, it had shaved a good 2 hours off what the journey would have taken had he flown full commercial, not to mention saved him a load of messing about in the meantime with bookings and check ins.

The jet was comfortable, he had flown on it a few times with Katie before back to NYC when they didn’t drive that was. As soon as he was airborne he face timed Katie using the connection on the plane and had hissed at the bruise on her cheek. She had batted off his concern and instead went on a rant about how cheap Fury was. He had to laugh at her indignant tone, apparently they had arrived at a Premier Inn a few hours ago and she had refused point blank to get out of the SUV and after a battle of wills with Coulson had upgraded the entire team to the Sheraton just outside of Galway within ten minutes. Apparently overnighters weren’t standard for the team she was working in as they had the Bus but Coulson had decided they all needed some down time after what sounded like a gruelling mission.

“And what better way to do that in a 5 star hotel with a spa, right?”

They talked for the longest time they had in the three, almost four days she had been gone and Steve loved it. She didn’t go into much detail about the mission itself, bar to say it had ended in a pretty ruthless fight and that she was mentally and physically exhausted, promising to tell him all about it when she saw him. He told her in no uncertain terms that they were both going to take some time out, Fury had cleared it and her face had lit up, but then fallen when he sadly told her he had one last mission to sort. After assuring her it wouldn’t take long, and it really wouldn’t, she had smiled and told him she couldn’t wait to see him.

“Me either Doll, me either.”

He took the opportunity to get some sleep, and was awoken by one of the stewardesses a few hours later who informed him they were an hour out. Thanking her he headed off to change out of his comfy sweats and into his specially selected outfit, one that would make him blend in a lot more than the stealth suit. Once he had arrived, cleared customs at the private airfield they had landed at, he climbed straight into the arranged official looking blacked out SUV and the driver set off, not a word spoken. The driver already knew their destination, Fury had already patched that information through before he had taken off.

It was easy to blag his way in to the building he needed to be in. Dressed in a black suit, all he had to do was quickly flash his SHIELD ID badge and the woman at the desk was only too happy to provide him the information about where he could find his target, and access to the required area. He didn’t take the elevator, it was too easy to be spotted. Instead he snuck round and found the service stairs and bolted up them two at a time to the seventh floor, his kit bag containing his shield slung over his shoulder.

****

After they had checked in to the decent hotel, not that Premier Inn (which she was sure was clean and perfectly comfortable, but she wanted fucking luxury after three nights of being in that pokey room) and she’d spoken to Steve for at least an hour, Katie showered, changed and headed off out to explore the area with Skye. The two had chatted, Katie really did like the girl, and they’d done a bit of shopping, had a late lunch, before they had headed back to the hotel and made use of the Spa. Then, she’d sat and eaten with the team, before bidding them all goodnight and retiring to her room with a bottle of Krug (because, why not?) and a long assed hot bath.

She tried to face time Steve again, but this time he didn’t answer. Probably elbow deep in whatever mission he was on this time, he’d been very vague about this one, saying it was hush hush but he would explain all in person, including what had gone down in Yemen which sounded like an utter shit-storm.

Changing for bed, Katie dropped onto the comfortable couch of the suite (ok, so she’d upgraded herself a teensy bit more than everyone else), poured herself another glass of Krug, slightly disgruntled to see the bottle was empty. So she rang down for another, fuck it.

Just as she had put the phone down, her cell called.

“Hey baby.” Steve spoke and Katie could hear the smile in his voice. “Sorry, the phone won’t let me face time for some reason.”

“Well that’s a shame because I’m naked.”

Steve groaned and Katie felt herself grin. “Don’t do that to me.”

“Sorry.” She giggled “I’m not really, just wish you were here.”

“I know.” He sighed “Me too”

“I’m taking it that seeing as you can talk your super-secret spy shit mission is done.”

“It was surprisingly easy” He mused, “Target didn’t suspect a thing and thanks to a very helpful lady I met, I got in with no fuss.”

“Helpful lady?” Katie narrowed her eyes. “How helpful?”

Steve let out a chuckle “All I had to do was flash my ID and smile”

“Coz you’re a regular charmer, aint you?” Katie laughed, and then there was a knock on the door. “Oh hang on… room service.”

She got up off the couch, made her way to the door, phone still in her hand and she pulled it open.

“Hey Doll.” Steve grinned at her and her mouth dropped open, the phone slipping out of her hand to the floor. “Surprise.”

She was a sight for sore eyes. Silk cami top and shorts, her hair falling in damp waves around her face. God he’d missed her.

“What…you…” She stammered, taking him in, the black fitted suit and tie he was wearing looked far better than it would have on anyone else and he laughed at the look of utter shock on her face “The mission, I thought…”

“You’re my mission, Sweetheart” He grinned, stepping into the room, dropping his kit bag, picking his phone up as he did so. And, no sooner had he straightened up, Katie gave a little shriek and threw herself into his arms.

“I can’t believe it.” She whispered, her hands straying to his face “You are here right? This isn’t just some weird trick my mind is playing?”

“I’m here, promise.” He placed a soft kiss to her lips. There was a clearing of a throat and Katie peeked over Steve’s shoulder to see a rather embarrassed looking hotel worker clutching the bottle of Krug she had ordered along with a fresh glass and an ice bucket. She tapped Steve’s arms and he reluctantly set her down so she could sign the receipt with a flourish. Steve smiled at the man, taking the ice bucket before closing the door. He followed Katie into the large hotel suite, and dropped the ice bucket and her phone onto the coffee table before sinking onto the couch and Katie climbed onto his lap, winding his tie around her hand.

“For the record,” she murmured as she looked him up and down, “this is a good look.”

“Glad you approve, Darlin’” He grinned as she tugged on his tie, pulling him closer to her, and she pressed her lips to his in a deep kiss.

He responded eagerly, hands creeping into her hair to hold her head in place as his tongue slid against hers, his hips rocking up before his lips dropped to her collarbone

“I missed you.” He purred as she let out a small groan, her hand sliding into his hair.

“I missed you too” She muttered, his hands gently fell to her hips, giving them a squeeze. “Take me to bed.”

Steve didn’t need asking twice. Standing easily, drawing a giggle from her as she wrapped her legs around his waist, he paused and looked around.

“Trust you to get a suite that’s bigger then my apartment.”

“I have very high standards.” She shot back. “Door to the right.”

He gave a quick laugh and strode over to the door, pulling it open and stepping into the plush bedroom which was softly illuminated by the bedside lamp. Dropping her onto the huge bed he crawled over her as she once more grabbed his tie and pulled him down.

“You really do like this huh?” He arched his eyebrow,  ooking down at her as she gently slipped his jacket down his shoulders and he shrugged it off, tossing it to the floor.

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for a suit. Although I still think the Stealth one is better.”

“Maybe I should bring that home one night.” He muttered as his lips slid against her neck and she groaned.

“Please do. Your ass looks great in it.” She moved, pushing on his shoulders. Steve sat back on his heels and she locked her eyes on his, undoing his tie gently, a move she managed to make incredibly arousing and Steve let out a groan and he kissed her.

“Fuck, I missed you.” He whispered into her mouth

“Save it, you’re wearing too many clothes.” She replied, undoing the button on his collar and then her soft fingers made their way down his chest, her eyes following as it fell open. He shrugged it down before he fell back down on top of her and moved to pull her vest top over her head. As he tossed it aside somewhere he let out a gentle moan at the sight of her in front of him, and he wrapped his arm around her back and tugged her up slightly as his head bent to take a nipple into his mouth. He used both his hands and his mouth in a nearly coordinated attack that left her all but dying, and completely desperate for his touch elsewhere. He could read her body signals like a book and happy to oblige, one of his hands slid down, dipping into her bed shorts, finding him hot and wet for him. He groaned into her chest his fingers playing with her.

“Baby you’re soaked.”

She managed to moan in response, and then it was a race for the pair of them to get out of their remaining clothes as fast as they could. Once there was no barrier between them he kissed her hard, Katie shifting so that her legs went around his waist, pulling him flush against her, wanting to touch every inch of him possible. Steve repositioned himself slightly, gently working into her, the pair of them letting out a satisfied sigh as he bottomed out, stilling slightly just to savour the moment.

“Stevie…” Katie whispered into his ears “Please…” At her plea, he began to thrust, slowly, deeply, running his hand down Katie’s leg until his hand stopped at her knee. Katie looked at him as he seemed to hesitate for a split second before he directed her leg up, casually resting it over his shoulder so that he could go even deeper. She moaned loudly, he’d never done that before and it felt so unbelievably good, like nothing ever had before. Her fingers dug into his arm as he starting pushing a little harder, a little faster, then faster, until he had reached a relentless pace. Katie could do nothing but reach up, bracing herself on the headboard of the large bed as he continued, making her curse and leaving her short of breath, eyes closed in utter pleasure.

He slowed for a moment, making her look at him, letting out a noise of protest. “Don’t stop.” she begged, “Fuck, Stevie…”

He grinned, and it was a wicked grin, coupled with the mischievous flash in his eyes and it made her gulp slightly. She’d never seen him like this before, it was as if something had snapped and he was finally letting himself go fully, realising that after almost six months of sleeping together he didn’t have to be a gentleman all the time as she wasn’t going to break. As she stared into those baby blues, his pupils blown with desire he slowly pushed himself up so he could put her other leg over his other shoulder. 

“Oh, holy fuck-”  Her voice cut off and turned into a loud wail as he picked up the pace once again, pounding into her over and over and it wasn’t long before his name and another plethora of curses tumbled from her lips as her orgasm ripped through her like nothing she’d felt before. Her back arched, fingers dug into his back as he coaxed her through it before dropping her legs from his shoulders, laying atop her and chasing after his own end furiously. Katie held him close as she came down, gently encouraging him into his ear, his rhythm eventually stuttering and changing as he came with a frantic gasp of her name.

The pair of them were slick with sweat and absolutely spent as they laid still, no sounds coming bar the ragged gasps for air from them both. Steve buried his head in the crook of his girl’s neck and she ran her fingers through his hair, his forehead still clammy and he let out a loud hmmm of contentment.

A moment or so later, Katie broke the silence.

“Baby.” She said softly, a playful thought rising in her mind. His response was simply another hmmm because he was still utterly blissed out. This caused Katie to smile a little as she spoke again. “Did Cap just come out to play?”

She felt him grin into her neck, “I think he may have done, yeah.”

“Well you can tell him from me that was amazing?”

“I’ll be sure to let him know…” Steve mumbled, still not moving.

“In fact, I’d go so far as to say that’s probably the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Just probably?” Steve lazily raised his head to look at her and she made a show of looking upwards as if she was thinking about it.

“Ok definitely” She grinned, kissing him gently.

*****

Katie bid goodbye to Coulson’s team the next morning, Steve remained in the hotel room as he’d been under instructions from Fury not to speak to Coulson or draw attention to him in any way. Then they’d taken 3 glorious days break in Ireland, hiring a car and driving to Limerick.

As they drove, Katie told him all about the mission, what the staff had made her see, and how it had surprised her slightly what her worst memory was.

“I always thought it would be the time Tony told me mom and dad were dead” she said, softly a Steve cruised their hired Audi Q3 down the motorway. “Guess I fear losing Tony more.”

“It kinda makes sense.” Steve said, his hand straying to her knee “you were very young when the crash happened. Tony’s been your dad for, what, 22 years now? Far longer than Howard was I suppose.”

“Yeah.” she said gently, looking out of the window “I mean, I don’t remember a lot about my parents to be fair. I have memories, but sometimes I wonder how many of them are mine and how many of them are what people told me.”

Reminiscing seemed to be the theme of their brief trip away. They spent a day visiting the places Steve’s Ma had told him all about, then the next day, after a lazy morning they drove up to Dublin where they had both drunk a fair amount of Guinness after Katie dragged Steve to Temple Bar, showing him the places she had spent a fair few weekends in on trips over from the UK. They forgot all about SHIELD, all about Fury, all about missions. They were just a normal couple enjoying a break, and Steve had frankly never had as much fun in his life.

It was on their last night, just after they were curled up in post coital bliss after their 3rd round that evening when Steve mentioned about how it was back to reality the day after that Katie propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him, biting her lip.

“What if I don’t want to?” She asked quietly.

“Don’t want to what, Honey?” Steve asked, kissing her head.

“Go back. To SHIELD I mean.”

Steve’s hand paused its journey up and down her spine as he turned his head to look at her, frowning. “You want to leave?” 

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the last 3 days.” she said, her fingers gently tracing over the dark blonde hair on his chest. “I can’t do it anymore Steve, I’m tired.”

“What’s brought this on?” he asked, turning so he was on his side facing her, pushing her hair back off her face.

“I can’t pin point one thing.” she said, looking down. “But…”

Steve paused, waiting for her to continue, and after a deep breath she did, her words coming almost as a jumble as she poured her heart out to him in the darkness of their hotel room.

“If I’m honest I’ve been thinking about it since we found out that they hadn’t been destroying the Chitauri weapons. Look what happened when Fury started fucking about with the Tesseract… I mean how do we know they’re not making more weapons just like they were before New York?”

Steve remained silent, that had been bubbling away in his mind too. He wasn’t best pleased about the situation but knew that Katie, who had headed up the DODC clean- up had taken it personally. She’d flipped out when Tony had told her what his latest hack into SHIELD had discovered and Steve had had to stop her marching into Fury’s office and calling him a liar there and then. He understood completely, she felt betrayed after having being told she was heading up a clean-up operation when in actual fact it turns out to be a goddamed technology harvesting operation.

“You now when Coulson died, I blamed myself. I made a decision to try to free Thor not help Coulson and I know I’d probably do it all over again because it was the right call, but the point is I blamed myself, for the past what, 18 months or so and Fury��he let me do that, he let me think he was dead…”

She was getting worked up, Steve could hear it and sense it, even if he couldn’t see her properly.

“Hey…” he said, his hand gently moving to her arm, rubbing softly as she continued her ramblings.

“And then there I get to The Bus and there’s more secrets there, not being told Ward was on the team, which to be fair wasn’t as bad as I thought but still, it’s more lies…”  

She was crying now and Steve sighed, wrapping his arms round her and pulling her to him. She pressed her face into his chest “This isn’t me Steve, it’s not who I am.”

He held her close, hand wandering up into her hair as he chewed over what she was saying. From a selfish point of view the thought of her leaving SHIELD worried him. She’d been his linchpin, his rock at the agency, and he relied on her more than she would know. He loved working with her, seeing every day and he was scared if that changed, so would their relationship. But there was a small part of him that also worried when she was on missions, and there was no doubt if she did quit she’d be a hell of a lot safer. And not all couples worked together, right?

He pulled back slightly, his large hand cupping her cheek “Hey, you know I got your 6 right? I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”

“I know.” She sniffed softly. I just feel like if I do quit, then I’m taking the easy way out, you know, I mean SHIELD is dad’s legacy.”

“Maybe once.” Steve popped his shoulder. “Times have moved on, SHIELD has changed. I doubt your dad, Peggy or Colonel Phillips would have ever imagined in a million years how it would evolve.”

“You’re telling me times have changed?” She quipped and he chuckled.

“Guess I am, but I learned pretty fast when I got that serum that you can’t live your life being who people want you to be or think you should be. You need to be true to yourself”

She nodded and stifled a yawn.

“Sleep on it.” He urged, his thumb stroking her cheek. “And then if it’s still what you want tomorrow, ’ll even write your resignation letter.”

“I got it planned” She yawned. “Dear Fury. Fuck you. Love Nova.”

Steve laughed and pulled her to him, kissing her head. “Maybe drop the Love Nova.”

****

“You sure you wanna do this?” Steve asked as they stopped outside Fury’s office. Katie nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, I’ll be right here.” He said, both his hands on her face. She gave him a smile and then turned and opened the door.

“Agent Stark.” Fury swivelled in his chair “Take a seat.”

“It’s okay Sir, this won’t take long.” She declined his offer, taking a deep breath.

“Do I need to borrow Captain Rogers SHIELD?” He looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “I’m assuming this is the bit where you’ve come to tell me exactly how pissed at me you are.”

“I’m not pissed” She shook her head, “I was, but not now. I’m just disappointed.”

He eyed her, and gestured for her to continue.

“I expected better from you Sir. You lied to me. You let me believe Coulson was dead. You know I blamed myself for that for months, and then if that wasn’t bad enough you sent me to a team containing my ex boyfriend…and don’t even get me started on the fact you’re secretly hiding Chitauri technology instead of destroying it.”

At that Fury’s face slipped and his face grew dark. “How do you…”

She arched an eyebrow and Fury gave a groan.

“Son of a…your brother is a liability.”

“Maybe, but at least he isn’t a liar.”  She shot back. “And neither am I. I pride myself on being honest, doing the best I can and I don’t like being used or manipulated.”

 “Agent Stark…”

“I can’t do it anymore.” She hook her head. “I’m tired of it all, the lies, the secrecy. This isn’t…it isn’t me.” she finished, shrugging.

“So what are you saying Nova?”

“That you can consider this my formal resignation.” She looked at him, eyes not moving from his and for a moment she was sure she saw a flicker of something that looked like regret flash across the Director’s face. But it disappeared as fast as it had arrived and she took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders back. “I will, of course, work any formal notice period.”

“I don’t suppose there’s any point in me trying to change your mind?”

“No, don’t suppose there is.” She shook her head.

“In that case, there’s no notice period necessary.” Fury spoke calmly, his posture returning to normal. He took a deep breath and strode round his desk, holding out his hand. “I’m sorry it’s come to this. You’re one of the best agents I’ve had. Coulson said you worked wonders on the Staff case.”

“Thank you, Sir.” She swalloed, fighting to keep her voice from cracking. “This hasn’t been an easy decision. For the most part, it’s been an honour to serve.”

She gently reached into her pocket, pulling out her official ID and ran her fingers over the silver badge before she handed it to him. Fury took it from her, and with one last smile she took a deep breath and turned, to leave, the tears brewing in her eyes.

This had to be one of the hardest decisions she’d ever made in her life but she wasn’t backing down. She’d talked it over with Steve extensively over the last two days and Tony too for that matter, her brother telling her that he, and their father would be proud of her no matter what. Undeniably her role at SHIELD had given her everything. A purpose, a new outlook on life, Steve. But now it was time to channel that energy in a new way.

“I would like you to remain on our books, in an advisory role.” Fury’s voice stopped her in her tracks and she grinned to herself, suddenly transported back to when he had said the same thing to Tony a few years ago.

She turned back and winked. “You can’t afford me.” 

**** Chapter 11

**Original Posting**

[blackberry-gingham]

Alright y'all, in honor of Valentine's I'm doing a quick break from requests and making a holiday post! Enjoy, and happy Valentine's to all from me AND the boys!

Relationship or not, remember that you are more then enough and I love each and every one of you mwah!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💝💖💗

Imagine: what each of the boys would do as your Valentine

George

George would treat you to an at home spa day!

First things first of course, and that being a nice hot breakfast

But after that, it’s all you baby!!

You guys would take a nice warm (and scented ofc) bath together and just relax and unwind

Then when you’re all nice and clean, you go get changed into what’s most comfortable for you, ie fresh PJs, a robe, ect.

And then back to bed, where George has a whole set up that he’s been planning for you

A fragrent, but not overwhelming candle burns in the corner, offering a low, amber light

Nearby, a slow record plays quietly, adding the perfect amount of white noise to the background

And finally, a few rose petals are scattered on the freshly made bed

George invites you to come lay down, while he works some lavender scented oil into his hands

You can’t hide your excitement as you trot over to the bed and get comfortable

“Stop squirming now, you’ll tense up again!”, George laughs, as he respectfully exposes your back to the cool air

Somehow you manage to settle yourself, and George goes to work, rubbing slowly outward from the base of your spine to the curves of your hips

He repeats this gesture aaaall the way up your spine, placing kisses here and there to your bare skin and using his expert thumbs to gently loosen any knots his palms can’t stretch out

But before moving on, he makes sure to pay extra attention to the stress knots in your shoulder blades until they’re as loose as he can get them

He slides up to your arms, getting all the pressure out of the joints as he rubs from your wrists up, then down to your legs to help relieve the soreness from your day to day hustle and bustle

and when all’s said and done, you feel weightless from the relief and steady massage, ready to go back to sleep

George grabs a nearby blanket and drapes it over you, the warmth helping to lock the oil into your skin and muscles

He lays down beside you and presses a kiss to the apple of your cheek, and with but a soft whisper he says, “Happy Valentine’s, love”

John

For Valentine’s day, John wants to do something extra special!

But what?

He’s pretty good about being sweet and sentimental when he wants to be, but how can he turn that into a gift...

Under normal circumstances, he’d tell you that a day of good behavior on his behalf is a gift in itself

And while that could certainly be true, you deserve better then that

So, he does some thinking and goes for the one gift he can give that few to none have ever received

John works tirelessly and in secret so as to keep it a surprise

Judging on obsession and perfectionist work ethic alone, you would almost mistake him for Paul

But finally, finally it’s all ready to go

You wake up that day like any other, and you almost forget what day it is

John appears to already be awake somewhere in the house considering he’s not beside you

Then, it comes to you

Excited to see if he’s been planning something, you hop out of bed and go off to find him

If he doesn’t have any plans today, you certainly can come up with a few!

John hears you coming and catches you around a corner

You give a yelp of surprise as john picks you up in his strong arms and gives you a spin

He wishes you a good morning and happy valentine’s day followed immediately after by a smattering of kisses before he sets you down

“Now come on, I have a surprise for you!”

John leads you into the living room amd sets you on the couch

Looking a bit antsy, he tells you to close your eyes

You comply, and by now the suspense is killing you

At last John’s footsetps return, “Now promise you won’t laugh, alright?”

You gasp in mock hurt, “I would never!”

John sighs and rolls his eyes, but he suposes that’ll sufice

Fianlly you get to open and you’re... well, you’re lost for words

In John’s arms is a large framed canvas, and painted there upon it is a loving, beautiful rendering of a photogrpah he keeps on his desk

It’s of the first dance you and he ever shared

He carefully guides it into your lap so you can get a better look

“Well? Do you like it?”

You trace your finger ever so lightly along the curve of John’s painted back as he holds you close in the picture still slow dance, a soft smile drawn onto his lips

Tears well up in your eyes as you slowly put the treasured piece down

“John...”, you turn to face him, unable to get the words out

But you don’t have to

John’s expresion softeneds and he leans in for a kiss, “...Happy Valentine’s”

Paul

Paul also has a bit of thinking to do for his gift

His knee jerk response is to dedicate a song to you!

...Again!

And while he does start working on one (for later, of course), he decides perhaps he should think a bit deeper for today

But what can he do that’s more personal then music?

He doesn’t really have much else in the way of outstanding talent

(Or so he thinks)

Well... He definitely knows he wants to produce a labor of love for you

After all, he would go to great extents to make you happy, so whatever he can do to make that happen, he’d gladly do it!

So, he thinks and thinks, and at last it comes to him

He breaks out some paper and some colorful things to write with and sets to work

When the day comes, he preps a little tray of breakfast and nestles his gift to you along with the plate and utensils

“Room service!”, he knocks sharply on the bedroom door and lets himself in without waiting for a response

Slowly, you begin to stir at the disturbance, but you awaken for sure after Paul snaps the shades open

A stream of soft light floods the bedroom, forcing you to get up

“Paul, wha...?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day!”, he happily declares

He swings around to fetch the tray from where he left it, then crosses back over to your bed side

“Here we are!”, Paul lays the tray in your lap, then comes around to sit beside you

“Oh, thank you Paul, this is lovely”, still a bit sleepy, you give him a kiss then pick up your fork and knife

“Wait wait! Look at this first!”, he retrieves a small stack of what appears to be printer paper neatly tied together by the corner

You take it and examine it

The front has a big, poorly drawn heart done in red crayon with you and Paul’s initials written in the middle

Already a smile blooms across your face, which grows into a full laugh as you flip through each page

It’s a little coupon book of romantic favors, all written in assorted, Valentine’s themed colors and messy handwriting

Breakfast in bed, dinner at a restaurant of your choice, a massage, movie night, 5 kisses, and more are among your choices

“Paul, I love it! Thank you...”, you land on a coupon that says 1 makeout session, then shoot him a look

“...Can I redeem this one now?”

Paul glances at it and chuckles, giving you a sly smile, “Hm, I think I can give you that one for free. Just this once...”

Breakfast will have to wait ;)

Ringo

Now, Ringo is a simple man

He loves you very much of course, and would do anything to give you the best day ever!

But considering the gift is supposed to be something of a surprise... 

That does complicate things a bit on what he should do for you, given that he can’t, you know, ask

He does a bit of thinking and even asks the other lads for ideas, despite the fact they aren’t much help

“How should we know?”, they say... Can you believe that?

‘How should they know’, how should he know?

So, he invests lots of thought into it...

All the spare brainpower he can muster...

And then... He’s got it!

He has to move quick to get everything together, given that Valentine’s is just around the corner, but he just might manage!

With everything set, he takes some time to get everything together for the big day, all neat and pretty

He even throws in some overtime while you sleep to spruce the place up a bit

The next day you climb out of bed in the morning and make your way downstairs

How strange that Ringo didn’t come to bed last night...

Not that you’re exactly complaining, that is

That man can snore something fierce

Hardly a few steps from the hall to the living room and you can already hear the good old sound of your boyfriend's rhythmic snoring

You yawn, closing your eyes and stretching as you round the corner, “...Dear, are yo-?”

But when you open your eyes, all you see is wall to wall of what appear to be handmade Valentine’s decorations

Sparkly, cut out heart banners, paper steamers, and a few clusters of balloons blown at various sizes are hung randomly around the room

Then, there on the coffee table, a massive bouquet of roses, over a hundred at least, provide a fragrant backdrop to a small teddy bear and a handmade card

You pick up the bear and give it a cuddle, then go for the card

On the front, two stick figures, one of which has been illustrated with quite a comically large nose, stand on a green hill with some hearts floating between them over their connected stick hands

The inside is addressed to you with a simple message of “Happy Valentine’s Day! Peace and love, Ringo”

You gasp and coo at the overwhelmingly sweet gesture, “Oh, Ritchie! Did you do all this yourself?”

Ringo snorts abruptly at the sound of his name and mutters, “Surprise!”, as he falls off the couch with a thump

Groggily, he comes to his senses, “Oh, uh... Happy Valentine’s! Uhm, D-do you like it?”, he asks nervously

You laugh and kneel down, your head hovering just above his as you give his forehead a kiss

“I love it”, you smile, and when you kiss him again, and again, and again, Ringo thinks...

Perhaps he did alright after all

[nillegible]

[Deleted* Scene from Stay, the Meng Yao time travel fic. Because I decided that the trope is a little Too Much for this particular story, but I do like cheesy things, so here it is. (*as in, I dismissed the idea almost instantly, but it wanted to be written, so here it is)]

“Da-ge,” says Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue looks up. The words ‘why aren’t you at saber practice?’ die on his lips when he sees the expression on Nie Huaisang’s face.

“Huaisang, what happened?”

“Da-ge, I got a. Wangji-xiong wrote me a letter.”

Nie Mingjue tenses. Last he knew, Lan Wangji was collaborating with Wei Wuxian. “If he wishes you to experiment with demonic cultivation, the answer is no. You are forbidden from attempting any-”

“It’s not that! It’s Xichen-ge, he- He’s fine! Da-ge nothing happened to him!” the last part is nearly yelled out, and Nie Mingjue does not know what his face had done to prompt the quick assurance, but the sheer icy terror for that one moment, when he thought that Xichen had died has his heart clenching painfully still, even with Huaisang waving his hands apologetically.

He sits back down, heavily. “Just tell me what it is, Huaisang.” Anything would be better than learning that his best friend was dead, or injured.

“During a night hunt, they found the half-eaten remains of a rogue cultivator,” says Huaisang. Nie Mingjue doesn’t like how this is going. “Xichen-ge.. from the hair ornaments, and the handwriting on the talismans – there was not much else to identify him with – he thinks that the cultivator was Meng Yao.”

Oh.

“What could have…” he trails off. It does not matter what sort of monster had finally killed Meng Yao, not when Huaisang just shrugs, lips pressed together the way he does when he’s trying not to tear up. Meng Yao had been one of Huaisang’s dearest friends once.

Nie Mingjue holds his arms open, and his brother accepts the hug, throwing himself into his arms silently. He doesn’t say a single word, but the silent tears against his shoulder are accusing.

Why didn’t you check up on him?

Why didn’t you invite him to come back?

How could you let him die, all alone?

“Wangji says that Xichen-ge is taking it very hard. He asks if you would go to him,” says Huaisang, voice thick.

Nie Mingjue nods against his brother’s hair. He will go, and he will apologize to Lan Xichen for counseling him against accepting Meng Yao into his own clan, or claiming him as a sworn brother. Not because he thinks that it was the wrong decision, but if he takes responsibility then maybe Lan Xichen would feel less guilt.

“I will visit him,” he says.

“I want to come too,” says Huaisang.

“Huaisang?”

“I know you were angry with him, but he didn’t… I want to say goodbye. They’re holding a service for him.”

“He did terrible things,” Nie Mingjue says. This is not the first time his brother has pled Meng Yao’s case in his absence. The words feel off this time, knowing that he’s no longer speaking ill of a wandering cultivator and ex-Nie… but a dead man.

“And some really great things, too,” Huaisang says firmly. “I want to come with you.”

(Huaisang always gets what he wants.)

*

The memorial is held at the place where Meng Yao died. Someone – the Lan, most likely - have cleaned up, have brought flowers and lamps to light the way of a spirit that could have gotten lost in its final moments of distress.

Nie Mingjue can see remnants of the battle, anyway, in the felled trees, gouges in the wood of several others. A broken Lan arrow that was not retrieved, shining with its distinctive fletching from where it lies discarded on the ground.

While the elders set out a soul-calming array, others leave offering at a small memorial. Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang approach that small cluster of people, intending to leave their own offerings there, and to light some incense for Meng Yao.

When people make room for them to approach, Nie Mingjue finally sees the painting that forms the center of the memorial.

It is in Xichen’s hand, Meng Yao’s likeness brought perfectly to life, warm and smiling, cheek dimpling with mirth. Nie Mingjue’s hand shakes faintly as he forces himself to move. The bottles of expensive Nie perfume suddenly feel cold and impersonal, as he lays them down among the other offerings.

It has been… years, since Nie Mingjue remembered his ex-deputy this way. He’s been remembering him in Wen-flame robes or in Qin-sect blue, even though he knows that Meng Yao had been a spy, and then banished from Qin sect. He’s been remembering him with an unnaturally fixed smile and aged eyes that seem to pass over everything, like Meng Yao was no longer here.

What didn’t I see? he wonders, faced with Meng Yao as he had been. Before the war, before the Wens, before Langya.

The Meng Yao on this memorial is not the one who had died here, he’d died long before… but Nie Mingjue realizes he’d not cared to see it, at the time.

Nie Huaisang tugs his sleeve lightly, and Nie Mingjue allows himself to be led away. Of course. There are more people to leave offerings for Meng Yao. He watches politely as strangers leave offerings. A regretful looking Qin Cangye and his daughter, as well as several of their disciples light incense, and then form a small group of just themselves, at the edge of the gathering.

Apparently Nie Mingjue is not the only one who feels guilty, today.

The air of the congregation tenses when Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun arrive to pay their respects, but for once the latter does not pick a fight, and Jin Zixuan is perfectly polite even though he’s visibly uncomfortable about being here. It was no secret that Jin Guangshan had resented his bastard turning his offer down.

(Why? Meng Yao, your ambition… why didn’t you join Jin sect? Nie Mingjue knew better than to believe that nonsense about feeling it disloyal to reject Sect Leader Qin’s generosity. But he had never challenged it, had never asked Meng Yao what changed. And now he’d never know.)

Once the crowding at the memorial thins out, Lan Xichen kneels before it, guqin out, and everyone falls silent as the haunting notes of Inquiry begin.

(Nie Mingjue recognizes one repeating series of notes, can hear every time that Lan Xichen plays Meng Yao, because Meng Yao had played it for him and Huaisang one evening, shortly before the battles turned for the worst. Back when they could afford an evening to themselves, to comfort Nie Huaisang before he had to be hidden away in the Cloud Recesses again, he’d shown them what Sect Leader Lan had taught him, while he was hiding him. “See? This is Meng Yao,” he’d said, and played it quickly, Meng Yao, Meng Yao, Meng Yao, Meng Yao, making Huaisang giggle, and try it out for himself, while Nie Mingjue watched in amusement.)

Every time that Xichen’s fingers still on the guqin, there’s only eerie silence, no spirit taking the chance to fill in, to answer Lan Xichen’s call. Nie Mingjue watches in silence until Lan Qiren sets a hand on Lan Xichen’s shoulder, bringing his music to an end.

“The Soul-Calming array is complete. If he does not wish to answer us, we should proceed,” he says. There’s something gentle in his usually stern voice, something edged with fear. Once this is over, Nie Mingjue has to find Lan Xichen. He must be taking it even worse than he appears, to frighten his uncle so.

He’s relieved when Lan Xichen looks up at them and rather than react with anger, joins them. He’s carefully sandwiched between Nie Mingjue on one side and a dutiful Wangji on the other, while the calming ritual is completed. For once, his face is as jade-like and expressionless as his brother’s beside him.

For Xichen’s sake, at least, Nie Mingjue mourns Meng Yao’s passing.

(He’s lying to himself. There’s just something about this, about knowing that Meng Yao, that bright workaholic with plans upon plans for every contingency, could be felled like this. Alone, and with no back up, that makes the whole world feel off-kilter.

The Nie die alone in the raging madness of qi-deviation, but even then they are not alone.

He’s never had backup, a voice like Huaisang’s chimes in his head. Da-ge, no one’s ever had his back. Not even you.)

*

He leaves Huaisang in the care of the other Nie disciples, and spends the night at Lan Xichen’s, letting him play piece after piece, and never pointing out that these are not cultivation scores but Gusu-Lan story songs. Nie Mingjue can guess why Lan Xichen is playing these today. Guess who heard them last, from Xichen’s clever fingers.

*

Lan Wangji is missing the next morning, and Nie Mingjue feels a stab of irritation that he would leave when Lan Xichen is so fragile. In his place, though, Nie Huaisang sticks to the Lan Sect Leader’s side, never allowing him a moment’s peace.

Xichen accepts the coddling with a faint smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and by sneaking an extra sweet onto Nie Huaisang’s plate when they take tea, later.

Nie Mingjue’s tentative, “Can we talk, Xichen?” is met with a tired, “There’s nothing to say, Mingjue-xiong. Please. I cannot say it aloud again,” and Nie Mingjue doesn’t try again.

*

Three weeks later, an aide rushes into his office to tell him that Sect Leader Lan had arrived without warning. Worried, Nie Mingjue rushes to the entrance to meet him.

There’s pure unbridled joy on Lan Xichen’s face, but it’s the smaller figure at his side that stops Nie Mingjue in his place.

“Meng Yao?”

“I’m not dead, Sect Leader Nie,” he says, smiling.

“I am glad,” says Nie Mingjue, and it’s the absolute truth.

He ushers them into his office to speak in private, after sending an aide to fetch Huaisang, and hears a quiet, “Did Sect leader Nie always have dimples?” behind him, that makes Lan Xichen laugh out loud before he stifles it. Nie Mingjue throws them an injured look over his shoulder, but at the matching laughing grins that face him, he can’t help but smile, and turns away quickly so as not to give them proof.

*

It turns out that it was a case of mistaken identity. The man was a rogue cultivator, one that Meng Yao had traded talismans and a hair piece, for a small, deadly dagger that he now shows them.

“Imagine my surprise when I hear that I had died,” he laughs, but Nie Mingjue thinks there’s something weary within it.

“I am glad that Wangji and Wei Wuxian found you,” says Lan Xichen. Then, softer, gentler, “I’m glad they knew to look.”

Why didn’t you come to us? he means, though he does not say so outright. Why would you let us think you had died?

“I did not know you cared,” says Meng Yao, answering the unspoken questions. “I thought it would be easier to let you think me gone. That we would all get new beginnings.”

“Where would you have gone?” asks Nie Mingjue.

“Dongying,” says Meng Yao, eyes bright like it’s significant. Nie Mingjue doesn’t know why that makes Meng Yao laugh so hard, but it takes him a moment to compose himself.

“Meng Yao, Lan Xichen,” says Nie Mingjue before he can change his mind. “Would you be my sworn brothers?”

He gets two surprised looks, one more so than the other. “Sect Leader Nie,” he says. “Why? What do you want from me, that you’d? I don’t…”

“I don’t want you to go,” says Nie Mingjue honsetly. “You don’t have to do anything for us, but…” Don’t just vanish, for months at a time. It’s unsettling, when you’re missing. “Please stay,” he says.

Meng Yao turns to Lan Xichen, as if asking him to disagree. “I have already told you my mind on this, Meng Yao. In my mind, you were already my younger brother,” says Lan Xichen.

There’s a long silence, in which Meng Yao’s smile turns brittle again. He’s going to say no, thinks Nie Mingjue, and didn’t expect to feel as disappointed as he does at that.

“Okay,” says Meng Yao, smiling. “Okay, Da-ge, Er-ge. This time, I’ll stay.”

[xtruss]

Cypress trees have towered over the Three Sisters swamp in North Carolina’s Black River for more than 2,600 years. Photograph: Charlie Peek

The Oldest Tree in Eastern US Survived Millennia – But Rising Seas Could Kill It

A 2,624-year-old bald cypress could teach us how to fight climate change – if it doesn’t get destroyed first

— Ayurella Horn-Muller | Sunday, 01 August 2021 | The Guardian USA

A wizened eastern bald cypress dwells in an expanse of North Carolina’s wetlands.

It lives among a cluster of eastern bald cypress trees in the state’s Black River, some with origins dating back a millennium. But this singular tree has witnessed more than its comrades; a 2019 study found it’s been alive since at least 605BCE. It’s the oldest-known living tree in eastern North America and the fifth-oldest living non-clonal tree species in the world.

If these ancient trees could talk, they might wail a warning – a message about the coalescing threats to their continued survival. What we can learn from a 2,624-year-old bald cypress may help piece together how humanity can best mitigate and adapt to the unprecedented impacts of the climate crisis.

“They have personality,” said Julie Moore, a retired botanist and former coordinator at the US Fish and Wildlife service. “I’ve mapped wetlands for years, so every big swamp in the United States in the south, I’ve seen. But when I see these trees, I know they’re different.”

Back in 1985, Moore introduced David Stahle to the Black River’s bald cypress stand. A dendrochronologist, Stahle began using tree ring mapping and radiocarbon dating on the trees, leading to his discovery of “Methuselah”, a bald cypress dating back to 364AD.

It would take another quarter of a century for Stahle to return to the site, a maze-like waterway navigable only by small watercraft. This trip would lead him farther into the Black River, to the Three Sisters swamp. After coring hundreds of old trees, he identified the 2,624-year-old cypress – nearly a thousand years older than Methuselah.

Dendrochronologist Dave Stahle, left, has been able to visit these cypress trees thanks to Charles Robbins, right, who runs a boating service in the area. Photograph: Unknown

Stahle and his team have since continued their Black River research, reconstructing rainfall patterns and mapping the ancient forest. But climate change is a dangerous foe. Intensifying heatwaves, storms, flooding and droughts compound with warming temperatures to produce problems for plant growth, resilience and reproduction.

“The principal threat to our forests is people and human activity. One consequence of human activity is climate change,” Stahle said.

A little over six feet of elevation stands between the oldest-known cypress and the Atlantic Ocean. While sea level rise is increasing by two inches a decade now, it’s accelerating at a rapid pace. Sea levels are “all but certain” to rise by at least 20ft over the next 100 to 200 years. In a worst-case scenario, the world’s oldest bald cypress may already be underwater by 2080.

“With those bald cypress only two meters above sea level, that’s a really serious threat,” said Harvard Forest’s senior ecologist, Neil Pederson. “I see sea level rise as a train alarm, on a really long, overloaded train. And it’s going to take a long time to slow that train down.”

Pederson is one of the researchers behind a 2016 study that found that increasing drought conditions and extreme events of the past – which led to unusually high tree mortality rates – could be a forecast for the future.

“Even though our forests seem to change slowly over time, every once in a while these things, like black swans, these unprecedented or unforeseen events, come and change an ecosystem,” he said.

Carbon, Biodiversity and Coastal Barriers

A 2020 study found that even though older trees can adapt to stresses and migrate as conditions change, it’s unlikely that these characteristics will be enough to ensure their survival.

Nate McDowell, earth scientist at Pacific Northwest National Laboratory and the lead author of that study, describes trees as functionally “sweating” because of warming temperatures, reducing plant productivity.

The world lost more than a third of its old-growth forests from 1900 to 2015. “All the models, all the projections, everything points in the same direction: that we’re going to lose trees,” McDowell said.

His prediction is supported by the years of recently documented increases in the mortality of older trees, which researchers are identifying across the globe. Last year, more than 10% of all mature giant sequoias were killed.

When trees die, entire ecosystems are disrupted. “Once you have changes in the plant community, which is really the foundation for the whole forest, you in turn see changes in rodents, birds, even large mammals,” said plant ecophysiologist Angelica Patterson.

A 2018 study found that tree loss in the Pacific north-west can even negatively affect the climate in the eastern US. Old-growth forests act as carbon sinks, meaning they sequester and store carbon emissions, steadily accumulating carbon for centuries. If they die, that carbon is released back into the atmosphere, creating a vicious cycle that further perpetuates climate change.

Forest loss even translates to the disappearance of natural coastal barriers during storms.

A Future of Flooding

Locals living along North Carolina’s Black River know all about the immemorial trees. “We’re just amazed that those trees are here. The time we first heard about it, they were saying they were over 2,000 years old. And I said, “Well, they were here when Jesus was on Earth,’” said Dwight Horrell.

These cypress trees are accessible only via a ride on small boats through a maze-like swamp. Photograph: Charlie Peek

At 76, Horrell has called Ivanhoe, a rural town off the Black River, home his entire life. Climate change isn’t something he’s concerned about. Yet, dotted along a nearby shoreline are signs that suggest he should be.

Across the coastal wetlands of North Carolina, a new study found that climate change-driven sea level rise and saltwater intrusion have been killing large swaths of trees. In some cases, these “ghost forests” have even expanded inland. More than 10% of forested wetland was lost over the last 35 years in one wildlife refuge.

Charles Robbins, owner of the boating service Cape Fear River Adventures, has led Stahle through the Black River’s charcoal-colored waters for the past decade. He’s also seen first-hand how extreme flood events disrupt ecosystems and livelihoods. “There was a full foot of water on the ground and 15ft of water in the swamp,” Robbins said. “People’s houses were underwater.”

He was describing the aftermath of Hurricane Matthew – which in 2016 flooded Horrell’s parents’ house so severely they didn’t even try to rebuild. “My parents’ house was in an area that had never been flooded,” said Horrell. “The first time it flooded, it got up to about three feet off the floor. The last time, it got up to the ceiling,” he said.

Two years later, Hurricane Florence swept through, leaving a submerged town in its wake. The lowest-lying side was inundated with up to 36 inches of rain and record floods.

Everyone has since moved to higher ground, but the waterlogged shells of a few broken homes remain. “I’m telling you, it just looks morbid in that place,” said Horrell.

‘No Black River State Park’

The chance of dangerous flash flooding increases with intensifying storms; by 2050 North Carolina’s inland flooding events are projected to rise by 40%.

Even so, Horrell isn’t bothered by severe floods looming ahead. What he’s most concerned about is strangers disrupting his way of life. “You see how isolated this is down here? I enjoy the quietness,” he said.

In 2017, a legislative motion for a Black River state park, intended to boost tourism, caused an uproar. The following year, the North Carolina parks and recreation division recommended the state not move forward after four town halls and a petition made up of 1,300 signatures communicated the same message: those living closest to the Black River were overwhelmingly opposed.

Conservationists are split on the efforts to establish a Black River state park. It could invite more tourism and, in turn, pollution – but it could also fund conservation efforts. Photograph: Charlie Peek

Three years later, signs still frame a building bordering one of Ivanhoe’s river boat ramps; the bolded words ‘NO BLACK RIVER STATE PARK’ serving as a veiled promise.

Conservationists like Moore agree with the protesting community. It’s not climate change imperiling the survival of the oldest cypress tree she’s nervous about, but state-managed recreation, which opens the door to increased pollution, depletion of natural resources and ecosystem disturbance.

But Hervey McIver, a land protection specialist at the North Carolina chapter of the Nature Conservancy, attended those state park meetings to garner community support for the initiative. His point is simple: establishing a state park could fund and amplify conservation efforts.

“The most vocal ones were against it. There were some people who were open to it, maybe in favor of it, but not against it. But they were quiet,” McIver said. He’s optimistic that the state legislature will eventually reconsider. “Even these rural, conservative, Republican folks, they see it. They understand it, and they don’t – they know they can’t fight it.”

The Nature Conservancy has invested in the preservation of the Black River since 1989. Today, the nonprofit, alongside state conservation agencies and the NC Coastal Land Trust, owns 17,960 acres along the 66-mile Black River and its upstream tributaries, including the Three Sisters swamp.

McIver says the conservancy protects the ancient trees by acquiring the land surrounding them, which then minimizes human activity. But he isn’t sure what more can be done.

“What can you do? I’ll be long dead before the water gets that high,” McIver said, emphasizing how sea level rise is a global problem, one that requires large-scale solutions like cutting greenhouse gas emissions. “But then, you can’t stop it. I mean, if it’s going to rise, it’s going to rise.”

Environmental archaeologist Katharine Napora holding a cross section of a cypress tree. Photograph: Craig Jacobs

Looking Back to Move Forward

Some believe that question can be answered by using thousand-year-old windows into the past.

Environmental archaeologist Katharine Napora analyzed deceased eastern bald cypress trees along the Georgia coast, ranging from 65 to 1,078 years old, whose preserved remains date back to 3161BCE.

“From these ancient trees, we see that even very long-lived cypress trees in the ancient past can be killed very fast with either rising sea levels or the storm surge from hurricanes,” Napora said.

Solutions to fortifying wetlands and preserving old-growth forests, beyond curbing emissions, include creating living shorelines that act as a buffer for ecosystems from storm surges, sustainably harvesting coastal resources, lobbying for stricter regulations on companies emitting pollutants into the environment and even introducing marsh plants that double as salination sponges.

Napora believes we need to do everything in our power to preserve the Black River’s treasure trove of climate insight.

She compares the loss of old-growth forests to the burning of the Library of Alexandria, one of the greatest archives of all time. “These forests are like libraries informing us about the ancient past,” she said. “Just picture the huge amount of knowledge that would be lost if these forests no longer survive.”

[faterpresources]

Anonymous:

Do you have any advice on how to start an rp blog? I feel like there's so much to do and so many specific things, it looks intimidating, but I really want to get into it (and your blog seems like a safe space to ask as a baby in the matter)

Hi! Thanks you for asking and for trusting. I do admit that rping on tumblr can look daunting and there is a series of things that are considered “etiquette” that might not be obvious for newcomers. And the only way to learn is to ask, right? As I’m not sure if you would like something more specific or a step-by-step, I’m going to go through the whole process.

note: this is a repost from an ask in a more reblog-friendly format

1.       Setting up the blog

You might want to make a new e-mail account for each blog you want. I recommend making a gmail/google account, so you may be able to use other services and associate them with your blog. I’ll go into more details in a minute.

Some people would rather have a personal blog and then making the RP blog as a side-blog. Or a “hub” blog and many side-blogs so they have everything centralized. The downside is that you can’t follow people with side-blogs, only the main – and some rpers are a little suspicious of personal blogs, so if you intend to go this route it might be a good idea to state somewhere in your blog that you have a RP blog.

Tip : It isn’t said too often, but I recommend saving your blog’s e-mail and password somewhere, maybe a flashdrive or even google drive. This way, if something happens you will be able to retrieve your account.

When picking the URL, for a very long time tumblr had problems tagging URLs with a hyphen ( - ). I’m not sure if it has been fixed or if there are still some issues, so I recommend only using letters and maybe numbers. Other than that, pick anything that sounds nice to you!

Themes are nice, but not entirely necessary. Not everybody has photoshop skills and all that. Some people do have commissioned themes, but if you want to try your hand at it my first stop is usually @theme-hunter  or @sheathemes . They reblog many themes from many creators, so there are always many options that might suit your needs.  Some creators offer very newcomer-friendly themes that you can configure a lot of things without much hassle but some might require basic HTML knowledge – a few creators have guides on how to properly set up their themes and are willing to and answer questions, so don’t be afraid to contact them! You can also send me an ask, I’m not a specialist but I can certainly help walk you through the basics.

Tip: @glenthemes have very good themes and a basic installation guide here.

When fiddling with the options, try to pick colors that have nice contrast and are easy to read. If you are bad at picking colors or have problems in finding the code for them, I recommend trying this link. There is also this one that auto-generate palettes.

Tip : If you mess with your theme, remember there is the Theme Recovery.

Tip: If you use Chrome or Firefox you can set up different profiles and associate each with a different blog, so you don’t need to log out from any of your accounts.

There are two pages that I recommend having: one is an about your muse. If they are an OC, it is always a good idea to have at least some information out there to make things easier. If they are from a canon source, not everybody is familiar with the material so it might be a good idea to state. For example, if you are going to roleplay as Altria/Arturia, it is a good idea to have a “RP blog for Saber (Altria Pendragon) from FGO/FSN “ somewhere visible. The other page that is a good idea having is a rules/guidelines page. This one can be a little intimidating, but it is usually a way to communicate important things. For example: are you comfortable writing violence? Do you have any personal triggers? There is something you absolutely won’t write? There are things you may figure out along the way and it is absolutely ok to fine-tune this session every now and then. Some people also credit source for their icons and graphics in general in their rule/guideline page.

If you are using the tumblr default themes, when you create a new page you can turn on the option to show a link to the page. If you are using a custom theme, most of the time you will have to link it manually.

Oh, and if you are planning to do a multimuse, it might be a good idea to list which muses you have. The same goes for a hub blog; list the muses and link to the pages.

Icons aren’t necessary but are considered commonplace. You can find some icons I’ve done here but there are plenty of other sources. If you want to do your own icons, keep in mind to don’t make them too big, as a courtesy to your mutuals.

Tip: Anything larger than 300 pixels will be stretched to fit the post. As of today ( 4/29/2021 ) the posts are currently 540 pixels wide. This can be useful as making banners for your blog.

Tumblr allow users to “pin” posts. This mean that they will always visible if you access your blog, even on dash/mobile. You can use this to set up a post with basic links for mobile users or something else. For example, if you are out on vacations and won’t be able to do replies, you can pin a hiatus notice and then remove the pin once you are back.

2.       Introducing yourself

Time to officially join the fun! (insert a “Hi, Zuko here” joke) Don’t worry if you don’t have a fancy promo graphic or anything, most people make their initial introduction with a simple post.

(as you can see, I’m not very good at saying ‘hi’)

Try to introduce yourself in a few lines, but make sure to state which muse you RP as. Some people also like adding their pen name/alias and establishing a brand. Follow as many people as you want that reblogged or liked your post, and tumblr is going to start recommending other blogs that are related to the tags you use normally or have any relation to the people you follow. You can put as many tags as you want, but tumblr will disregard more than 6 tags in their system. Try tags like “<fandom> rp” and “<fandom> roleplay” along with the media, such as “movie” “video game”, “anime” and so on.

It might also be a good idea to follow a few RP memes blogs. They often have options to break the ice, like one-liners that your mutual can send you.

Tip: Don’t forget to turn on the asks and the anon

3.       Practical advice

Alright, now that you have a few mutuals, it is time to get to some general tips:

Tumblr can be a little “iffy”, and a great quality of life extension for RPers and navigation in general is installing the New Xkit extension. They offer a number of options to enhance your tumblr experience, but the ones I consider essential are the “editable reblogs”, “quick tags” and “blacklist”. Get it for Chrome or Firefox.

As a rule of thumb I recommend writing your RPs using Google Docs before posting or replying. By doing this you can do some spell check and if your browser crashes for any reason you can easily recover your work. You can also use Word, Open Office, or any text editor you feel like.

Because I’m a bit of a perfectionist, I also have Grammarly ( Chrome / Firefox ) installed for an extra layer of spell/grammar check. There is a subscription option, but the free one works perfectly fine.

To make things easier to locate, always tag the URL of your RP partner when doing a reply. There are other useful things you can tag, such as open starters, memes, and such.

Risking being obvious here, but when you are not interacting as your character it might be a good idea to tag as “ooc” or “out of character”.

Some people like making google docs with basic info and other useful stuff for easier access on mobile. It is a recent trend, it might be easier to edit as opposed to going through tumblr page editor and dealing with the HTML.  You can find some templates here and here.

Tumblr’s activity can be unreliable, so don’t be afraid of contacting your partner to see if they have gotten your reply after a few weeks. However, some people also enjoy using the RP Thread Tracker in order to be on top of things. It might be a good idea to check it out.

Because of Tumblr shadowbanning and shenanigans, it isn’t unusual for people to have NSFW sideblogs (sometimes referred as ‘sin blogs’). If you want to write smut, it might be a good idea to consider making one.

Some people don’t like replying to asks, as Tumblr won’t let you remove the initial ask. It has become common to see people making new posts to reply to asks.  This is a simple example:

As you can see, I used the mention to have the RP partner notified then I copied and pasted their question on my post and used the quote to indicate it. You can also have fancy graphics, like a line to separate the contents, just do whatever you feel like with the formatting or keep it simple.

To make sure your partner got the answer, I recommend copying the link to the post and pasting on the ask and then replying it privately.  An example sent to my rp blog:

4.       Basic Etiquette

Ok, this is a little subjective most of the time but here are a few things that are considered universal courtesy.

Never reblog someone else’s headcanons. If you enjoy it, maybe it should politely contact the author and ask if it is ok to write something based on their original idea but you should never downright copy or lift something from another creator. It is considered rude, or even theft in some cases.

Don’t reblog threads you are not involved with. It is ok to leave a like, but never reblog. This is because Tumblr can mess up the notifications and disrupt the flow of the RP.

Don’t copy other people’s graphics. It is very rude and sometimes they commission (aka: paid) for it.

Trim your posts. What does that mean? Every time you reblog with a reply, the post tends to get longer and longer, and it can cluster your and your mutuals’ dashes. This is why the New X-Kit’s “editable reblogs” is an almost must-have tool. If for some reason you can’t install X-Kit (if you are on mobile for example), then remove the previous post or ask your partner to trim for you.

Never take control of your RP partner’s muse. This is called “godmodding” and it is heavily frowned upon. It is ok to control your muse and the possible NPCs that you inserted, but never seize someone else’s character. Likewise, it can also be very upsetting if you use what people call “meta-gaming”, applying knowledge that your muse shouldn’t know about the other. For example, let’s say your RP partner’s muse is a vampire, but they have never disclosed that information to your muse, who also doesn’t have an excuse to know that (for example, being a vampire hunter) so it can be quite jarring sometimes. When in doubt, contact your partner.

This should go without saying, but RPing sexual themes with users under the age of 18 are illegal. It doesn’t matter if the age of consent in your location is lower, once you join Tumblr you are abiding by their user guidelines and the law of the state they are located in. If you are an adult, don’t engage minors with these topics, maybe a fade to black would be a better option. If you are a minor, don’t insist or you might cause a lot of legal problems for others.

Try to tag anything triggering. Violence, gore, NSFW. Both Tumblr and the New Xkit have options to block keywords.

When picking PSDs or graphics for your blog, you should avoid templates that change the color of the skin of POCs muses and try to pick the right race/ethnicity of the muse you are going to RP as. I won’t go through a lot of details, as it is a rather lengthy subject in an already lengthy conversation but keep this in the back of your mind.

Some RPers don’t like when you reblog memes from them without sending anything. Try to always reblog from a source or to interact with the person you are reblogging from, it can be rather disheartening to be seen as a meme source rather than a RP blog. This isn’t a rule and some people don’t mind, but it is always a good idea to try to do this.

This might be more of a pet peeve of mine than proper etiquette, but it is ok to use small font. What is not ok is use small font + underscript. Some people have disabilities that might make it harder for them to read it, so it might be a good idea to refrain from using it. Maybe if you feel like doing something fancier every now and then, but I wouldn’t recommend making this a habit.

Mun and Muse are different entities. Remember that it isn’t because a muse does something (especially a villain one) that the mun condones something. Never assume anything about the mun, when in doubt talk to them.

Be mindful of your partners and treat them the way you would like to be treated.

As a rule of thumb, always talk to your RP partner. It is only fun as long both of you are enjoying it.

5.       Closing Words

This got longer than I expected.

Despite all of that, don’t be too worried about not being very good at first. I assure you that you will get better with time, so don’t be afraid of experimenting as long you feel comfortable. And don’t be afraid of saying “no” if something bothers you.

My inbox is always open to questions and ideas, so feel free to contact me anytime!

I would also ask my followers: there is advice I missed/overlooked? Anything you would like someone have told you when you first started? Add your thoughts so I can update this.

Happy RPing!

[breadoffoxy]

Of Insults and Flowers

Summary: You weren’t sure what to expect when a hot customer comes barging into your shop, but the depletion of your flowers representing insults and falling in love was definitely not on the list.

Written for the  BTS Ghostie Writers Bingo Bash. Prompt: Florist!AU

Pairing: Jungkook x n. Reader

Genre: Fluff, one sprinkle of angst, humor, florist!AU

Warnings: Some language, cheesy flirting, kissing, an innuendo, Jin being the best chaotic friend, brother, and boss a person could ever want.

Word Count: 5,363

The day at the shop has been slow. Here you are trimming yet another thorn off yet another rose. One large pile on the left slowly shifting to become a large pile on the right. Your phone is hooked up to a little speaker playing music that's irresistible to dance to.

The clanging of the bell on the door makes you squeak as you quickly look up. Your dancing form is frozen as you hope that they didn't see your booty shaking.

A young man strides forward purposefully, large eyes intently focused on your form behind the counter. Crap he totally saw you dancing.

Double crap he is super-hot.

The brunette customer is decked out in all black from his large shirt, jeans, and clunky boots. Tattoos peek out from under his sleeves on muscular arms. Small silver hoops swing from his ears from his hurried pace.

When the man reaches the counter, his hands slam down on the surface making you jump. From their position you see more tattoos inked across his hands. The grip on your cutters tightens. The type of customer that is impatient, rude, and knows better than you have frequently entered your shop, but no one has ever entered like this. You're not sure what set the brunette off as you never seen him in your shop before. You would have remembered him if he did.

"How do you say fuck you in flowers."

"...Excuse me?"

"I need a bouquet to give to a...acquaintance. One that says fuck you, and not the good fuck you. Sure, he's good looking for someone his age but ah sorry that's not the point." He runs a hand through his dark locks. The action makes it look incredibly fluffy. "The point is, I need flowers that look pretty but are a proverbial middle finger."

The only sound is the music from your phone. Body rigid despite the tune you love, you stare at him with wide eyes.

An awkward beat passes between the two of you as you try to gauge the hot madman in front of you. He seems to finally notice the death grip you got on your cutters and the confusion in your eyes.

Black boots take a couple of careful steps away from the counter. He raises his hands in front of him.

"Sorry...I'm just really frustrated at this guy. I didn't mean to scare you."

Quickly the young man bows deeply. "Please forgive me."

Ok, now you are even more shook at the situation.

Your hand loosens its grip on the cutters a bit as you wave your hands frantically.

"It's ok, please don't bow. I was just really surprised."

The man straightens slightly from his 90-degree angle and looks at you with large eyes. The intensity of them has simmered down to a sheepish look begging for forgiveness. 

Oh god, the hot man just turned into an adorable puppy.

"Just don't walk into someone's store like that again, ok."

You place the cutters on the table gently but keep your hands lingering close to the tool. The man returns to his deep bow.

"That acquaintance must be a piece of work."

Straightening, the man huffs and smiles sardonically, "Oh, you have no idea."

"Fill me in, that way I can get the appropriate 'fuck you' across."

"Ok, so I work at Kim's." At the lost look on your face he adds "That small restaurant on the other side of the neighborhood."

"Oh, I think I've seen the sign before?"

"Seriously? Their food is to die for. Sorry, I keep getting off point. Jin, he's the head chef there. His brother is on vacation and he's been missing him which causes him to act up more. The two are a force together but on their own its a whole other story."

You learn that the man in front of you is a server at Kim's as he regales tales of his boss Kim Seokjin, head chef. He misses his youngest brother Taehyung dearly, and has been acting out as a result. Dad jokes have been at an all-time high along with bickering over every little thing with is servers. Without Taehyung there, apparently no one comes close to the man named worldwide handsome in the looks department causing him to gloat about his looks more frequently as well. Many of the stories have you laughing. Leaning against the counter you're completely invested in every word the young man tells you.

"So here I am because Tae wanted me to buy his brother some flowers as a gift. As a friend it is my duty, but I feel like this is my time to get some revenge as well you know?"

You nod sagely in complete understanding. "I think I have just the ensemble of flowers for you...ummm...sorry I didn't catch your name?"

"Sorry, I really am an idiot. I'm Jeon Jungkook."

"Nice to meet you Jungkook. I'm y/n. Just give me a minute and I'll be back with some flowers."

You ponder over the flowers in your stock for a moment before carefully grabbing some to take back to the counter. Jungkook looks over your colorful assortment in curiosity.

You pick up an orange lily from the pile for Jungkook to inspect. "If you want the biggest fuck you in flower then this is it."

Next you pick up a delicate white flower. "This is orange mock, which means deceit. I thought it would be appropriate as well."

Jungkook carefully takes the flower from you, fingers brushing against yours accidentally in the process. The touch makes you jolt slightly. It goes unnoticed as the customer appraises the flower.

"Why is it called orange mock when it's white?"

Slightly still flustered you do your best to answer. "Its um well... you see the flower looks similar to orange blossoms. if you smell it, it also smells citrusy kinda, and that is why they have that name. Fake oranges."

Jungkook tilts his head down and takes a deep breath of the orange mock. He looks up with a smile partially hidden behind the flowers. You think your heart may have stopped at the sight.

"It does smell nice."

"So, um this last one," you sputter and focus on the cluster of flowers on the counter instead of the customer who's smiling with glittering eyes over your shyness, "is a zinnia. They come in many colors but they mean thinking of an absent friend. I figured your friend would appreciate part of the flowers being partly symbolic in the way he wants."

Jungkook picks up the zennia that's a mix of yellow and orange with highlights of pink. "He would like that." With all three of the flowers now in his grasp he nods. "Plus, I get to be petty now."

"Exactly. Now how would you like these wrapped?"

"You wouldn't happen to have a small vase for these would you? Something that's not too expensive?"

"I got something that'll work."

You retreat to another section of your little shop and return with a simple and small glass vase.

"Will this do?" You tilt the vase for Jungkook to see the price tag on the bottom.

"Yeah that'll be fine."

Putting the flowers in your outstretched hand, Jungkook watches in fascination as you assemble the flowers together.

"Tada! How do you like it?" You exclaim after you put in the last flower.

"It's perfect, thank you."

Making a customer satisfied has never made you happier. Quickly you scribble everything down on the receipt pad as Jungkook pulls his wallet out from his back pocket. You give him the receipt which he quickly looks over before giving you his card.

"Alright, I hope Jin likes it." You can't help but giggle. "Thank you for your purchase."

"No, thank you y/n." He bows quickly again before picking up the vase. He walks out of your shop, but not before giving you a little wave goodbye.

A few hectic days pass after that as you fulfill an order for a bridezilla's wedding. You almost forget about the ordeal until a tall handsome man with wide shoulders enters your shop. You can't help admiring the man as you cut off a long piece of ribbon to tie around a small arrangement. That is until your eyes spot a familiar looking assortment of orange and white flowers in a little glass vase. Crap, you hope he isn't here to yell at you. Double crap because he is more attractive than Jungkook mentioned, if he is who you think he is.

He notes you eyeing the flowers he holds with wide eyes. "Recognize these do you?" He places them on the counter as he leans over it slightly. "Imagine my surprise when I thought I was being gifted this beautiful bouquet," One of his hands waves at the flowers before resting on his hip and his polite smile turns into a frown, "were part a lovely message from my brother, but also an insult from that brat."

The fingers on his other hand strum against the table, adding to your anxiousness. "You can imagine how shocked and upset I was when my beloved smart brother told me the true meaning of these flowers."

"I'm sorry about that sir." You force out your customer service voice. "Our refund policy would not cover these flowers as there are no defects."

"Oh no, I'm not here for a refund."

What is up with these hot men making you so confused.

"I want my own insult flowers to give back to him."

"...Okay?"

So here you are going over different flowers with the handsome customer who you learn is indeed Jin, mister worldwide handsome himself.

The two of you decided on monkshood, a pretty purple flower that's poisonous if eaten, among a bundle of pink and white Rhododendron. Basically, it’s a batch of flowers warning Jungkook to watch his back. You make sure Jin promises to keep the monkshood away from food and he swore on his pride a chef he would never ruin food like that for someone.

"Thanks, Flower, for the flowers." Jin winks at you with a chuckle. "Come by the restaurant sometime and I'll whip you up something good. My treat."

You stand there a bit baffled as the man makes his exit.

For some reason you're not surprised when Jungkook stops by a couple days later asking for more flowers to serve as insults to his boss. The two keep coming back and forth to your shop. You find it entertaining and honestly their feud is really good for your business. Seeing the attractive men always makes your day a bit better. However, you're starting to run out of different flowers that they would consider insults. Jungkook did just buy out all the buttercups you had left to give to his somewhat childish boss.

One day while watering your plants you receive a phone call. Cradling the phone between your shoulder and you're ear you answer, "Hello, this is Spring Day how may I help you?"

"Hello, this is Kim Namjoon from Kim's restaurant. I'm sure you're familiar with the name with your two loyal customers."

You can't help the chuckle at the tone of Namjoon's voice. "Yes, very familiar." The common visits of the two have sparked a unique friendship. It hasn't helped that the attraction you felt for the younger frequent customer has turned into quite the crush.

"The arrangements you have been making for my brother and Jungkook have been displayed around the restaurant and the customers have been noting how much they like them. We would like to hire you to supply flowers for our place sets if that is something you are interested in. If so, I have some numbers ready to go over with you."

"Ok Mr. Kim, thank you for the opportunity. Let's talk some business."

After Namjoon and you discuss prices and scheduling you eventually came to a solid agreement. When the phone call is over you can't help but do a happy dance. You're so proud of how your little business is growing.

Despite Jin and Jungkook visiting your store so often, you still haven’t visited Kim’s Restaurant until now. You stand out of the classy looking restaurant with your first delivery. Assorted colors of orchids fill the box, the simple yet elegant flower you and Taehyung agreed upon would work best to start with for now.

The youngest Kim brother emailed you upon returning from his vacation. He was the one in charge of the restaurant's graphic and interior design. He often worked as a host, greeting everyone who enters with a boxy smile. One was aimed your way just now as he helps you with the door to get inside. "Great to see you y/n, come in, come in."

Enthusiastically he ushers you into the restaurant. It's early in the morning so there are no customers yet. A lovely smell wafts from the kitchen as you follow Taehyung to a table further back. The restaurant is very chic looking with black and white pictures of various sizes and settings hanging on the walls.

"These photos are all beautiful Taehyung. Are they all yours?"

"They are." Taehyung is beaming at the compliment. "I took new photos on my trip so I can't wait to get those developed. Now let's look at those flowers."

Taehyung helps you carefully take the flowers out of the box and set them on the table. Namjoon, a couple of tables over with what looks like important papers and folders, tries to come over and help, but Taehyung shoos him away. "He'll destroy the whole batch if we aren't careful y/n." He whispers playfully to you.

"I can hear you; you know that right."

Namjoon just gets Taehyung's signature smile in return. The back door opening and slamming shut drags your attention towards the back hall.

"Yah! What have I told you punks about that door, huh?" An aggravated voice yells from the kitchen.

"Sorry Yoongi," comes a triage of voices. You're excited to see Jungkook come into view along with two other men. Your favorite customer stops with wide eyes as he notices you. A smile quickly blooms on his face and he makes his way over to you excitedly.

"Y/n! You finally came."

The two other men look at the scene with interest, recognizing your name instantly as it comes out of the youngest staff member's mouth.

"Hey Jungkook, sorry it took me so long, and that it's for work. I'm an awful friend huh?"

Jungkook whips his head side to side. "No, no, your business keeps you busy. I'm just glad you're finally here."

The young server leans close to you to get a good view of the flowers on the table. The other two servers behind him share a knowing look before approaching.

"So, you're the famous y/n, we've heard a lot about you." You turn to see the attractive men bow in greeting. "I'm Jimin." Greets the grinning blonde who gets elbowed by Jungkook after his statement.

"Hiya! I'm Hoseok, nice to finally meet you." He makes a cute sound effect as he also examines the flowers. "These are really pretty."

"Thank you, and nice to meet you too." You beam at the two servers. Jungkook's hip suddenly bumps into yours softly making you look at him questioningly. He only smiles at you so you bump your hip back into his.

"Wait, is that my Flower that I hear?" A voice comes from the kitchen as a head peeks through the server's opening in the wall that also lets customers see into the kitchen. "It is!"

Junkook frowns at the nickname as Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung laugh at his disappointed face.

"Hello Jin." You call out to the man walking his way out of the kitchen. He makes his way over towards you and opens his arms for a hug which you gladly return.

"Oh, it's so cool to see you in your chef's outfit." Jin's wide shoulders fill out his black chef's jacket which is tied tightly around his thin waist. The chef's ears turn slightly red at your compliment. "Oh stop...tell me more."

"Ok, that's enough back to work." The grumpy voice calls over from the open area into the kitchen. The man with dark hair, you assume must be Yoongi, nods in greeting before disappearing.

"On my way Yoongles!" 

You swear you can fell the sigh that came from the kitchen.

"Don't think I forgot my promise to treat you to something y/n. Prepared to be blown away." The tall chef blows a kiss to you dramatically before reentering the kitchen.

"Ok guys," Namjoon claps at the servers. "Let's go over today's items." He ignores the collective groans. "You're good Taehyung and y/n?"

You nod as Taehyung answers, "All set."

Jungkook hips bump into yours as he follows the others to Namjoon's table. He smirks over his shoulder and sends you a little finger wave, which you return. Straightening your shoulders, you turn back to Taehyung and the two of you get into business mode. You figure out which arrangements you want on each table, making the displays form a slight pattern based off color. Taehyung and you now stand near the host's table, eyeing the flowers approvingly.

"This look's good y/n, thank you for the hard work."

"I'd say a lot of this is a win for you. You have a really good eye Taehyung."

Taehyung playfully puts a hand on his heart and looks at you with the cutest expression. Namjoon walks from the back and nods at the flowers approvingly as well as he passes.

"Y/n have a seat please." You follow the two Kims to Namjoon's table where you discuss further business. That is until a bowl of japchae is put down in front of you. The sight and smell of it make your mouth water.

"Compliments of the Chef." Grins Jungkook, who is now changed into his server uniform of a black button up long sleeves shirt tucked into black slacks with a sleek black belt. Not used to seeing him dressed so sharp, you can't help that your eyes look him over appreciatively.

"Sorry y/n, but Jungkook isn't on the menu."

You whip your head to look at the youngest Kim brother looking slightly affronted. Taehyung's head is resting in his hands propped up on the table and is grinning at your reaction. Taehyung winks at you while Namjoon snickers as he busies himself with his papers.

"Eat it before it gets cold y/n" prods the grinning server besides you. You pick up the chopsticks ready to bury yourself into the heavenly looking japchae and pretend you don't exist. Flavor explodes in your mouth the taste is-

"I wouldn't mind if you wanted to order me though."

You're choking on the noodles, coughing to try to clear your throat. Oh god this was how you're going to die.

Hands are hitting your back trying to help you clear the food. Luckily the food gets cleared quickly and a large glass of water is placed next to you. Quickly you gulp down the water as a large hand gently rubs up and down your back soothingly. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah..." You clear your throat for good measure. "Yeah I'll be good."

The perfect server, Jungkook refills your water quickly.

"Thanks."

"Don't kill our customer and florist now Junkook." Namjoon slightly disciplines.

"Sorry boss. Sorry about that y/n."

You see the young man look sheepish and enter a deep and apologetic bow.

"You're going to kill me one of these days Jungkook I just know it." At your teasing tone Jungkook brightens up immediately.

“If that happens, I’m sure it would be from me giving you too much love.”

You roll your eyes at his cheesiness. He’s clearly learned from the best.

“Now go on, give it a try.”

You take another bite of food, and you're grateful no one says anything as you appreciate the taste slowly.

"Tell the chef this is amazing and thank you."

"He'll be glad to hear it." With a slight bow, Jungkook heads back to the kitchen. The sound of some sort of commotion starts back there making everyone at the table shake their head.

"Sorry for the trouble y/n."

"It's no problem Namjoon. I'm quite fond of it now."

Time flies by before you know it. You're busy at Spring Day fulfilling orders and spending your time at Kim's, not all of it for business. It's a lively environment, and going there has made your days so much more enjoyable. It also made your crush on the server Jungkook a whole lot stronger and into something more real and concrete. His flirting still shocks you every time much to everyone's amusement at the restaurant.

The bells on the door clang loudly making you stop your dancing to greet your customer. A loud voice greets you back. "Hello Flower! How are you today?"

"Hey Jin. Just cutting thorns off roses...again." Seriously cutting thorns off roses seems to be a never-ending task for you but that's what you get for being a florist.

"So, what brings you in today?" You glance at the calendar tacked up to the wall. "It's not delivery day."

Jin looks at you with a mockingly offended expression. "What, so I can't just come here to visit my favorite florist?"

"I'm the only florist you know Jin."

"Fine, fine you got me. I am here for a reason."

"I told you I don't have any new revenge flowers to give you. You'll have to do repeats if you want any."

"Nope that's not the reason I'm here today, but you know you really need to get some new ones in."

You raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to get to the point.

"What brings me here today is..." He taps a drum roll on the counter top. "...is love."

"Love?"

"Yes, love!"

"Ok, I'm getting a little offended with your blank stare of yours right now." Jin confesses.

You lean against the counter, careful not to smush any roses, and rest your head on the palm of your hand. "So, tell me of this love of yours."

Jin mimics your position and you feel like two kids gossiping.

"Well they are really sweet, and they get super cute when their shy. He li- I like their smile and laugh. Makes my heart flutter and all that."

"Uh-huh. What's their name?”

Jin winks at you. "Now that's a secret y/n."

"Of course it is." You can't help but roll your eyes. "So, does your lover know about your feelings and this is a gift, or are you needing to use the flowers to confess."

"The second one." Jin points finger guns at you.

"Alright, do you know what their favorite flower is." You straighten up and reach out for your inventory book.

"Uhh, what's your favorite flower."

The binder falls to the ground with a slap after your surprise caused you to fumble it.

"J-Jin," You squeak. "Are you confessing to me?"

You love Jin, but not that way. Your heart beats faster despite that, it feels like a hummingbird in your chest. You've never received a confession before.

"What, no no no, not me! Oh god I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to sound like that." He denies until he sees the look of disappointment in your face. You know you are not interested in him like that but his strong refusal makes your eyes sting.

"...Oh, that's fine. Good yeah, because I don't see you that way either." You try to play it off, but your voice doesn't sound that convincing. You bend down to pick up your binder. quickly trying to get your act together, you stay hidden a second longer behind the counter than you need to.

When you pop back up from behind the counter you keep your eyes focused on the inventory book you open up and avoid looking at the handsome man in front of you.

"So unlike revenge flowers, there are a lot more flowers that represent love."

Large hands cup your face and to pull your gaze to meet warm eyes that are worried yet reassuring.

"y/n there are so many people out there that love you. All of us at the restaurant," He pauses to wipe a stray tear with his thumb. "It may not be all romantic love, but you're part of our family now. So, don't be sad. I know there's someone who will give you the love you deserve. You got that Flower."

You nod your head in his warm grip. His hands stroke your cheeks before pulling away.

"These flowers are for...for someone else, but I know I can trust you to make something beautiful full of love."

You sniffle, but a smile is on your face now as you flip to the page you need. You’re lucky to have such a good friend. "Well let's get started on making the best confession bouquet that's going to knock their socks off."

Jin smiles at you reassuringly as the two of you look over your stock. You explain the flower meanings to him as you go along. After analyzing a variety of choices, the two of you decide to go with a simple arrangement of red tulips and orange blossoms.

At first Jin was wanting to go for the iconic roses, but you explained that something different with a similar meaning might be good by impressing the receiver with not the default choice. It could just be you and your high stack of roses you still have to dethorn, but you’re a little tired of the beautiful flower. Jin quickly relents and goes for the red tulips that you explain represents a declaration of love, and to believe the person giving the flowers is honest in their feelings.

He does question your choosing of orange blossoms as a filler flower to the bouquet over the traditional carnations, but you explain that they have a similar meaning as well and it would be something unique. It has nothing to do with the memory of Jungkook serenely smelling orange mock and looking at you in-between the delicate blossoms. Orange blossoms allude to innocence, eternal love, marriage and fruitfulness. You ignore the eyebrow wiggle Jin gives you at that last part.

"Do you want me to wrap these up for you, or just the bundle as is?"

"Wrap them up like one of your french flowers for me would you."

You roll your eyes as he laughs at his own joke.

"You should come by the restaurant tonight. It's dessert night." The chef sings to you.

You started the tradition of joining the staff at Kim's for a meal once a week after the store closes. Once in a blue moon, Jin and Yoongi go a bit over the top and make crazy beautiful fragile pieces of art they call desserts. When the rare mood strikes them to undergo the delicate process of creating such treats, the rest of the staff dresses up for the occasion to match the aesthetic food and to feel fancy once in a while.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Jin smiles fondly at you and carefully takes the flowers out of the shop, but not before giving you his signature flying kiss as goodbye.

Your shoes click on the ground as you approach Kim's. You glance at the time to make sure you weren't too early as it was dark inside. You peek inquisitively through the glass and you see Taehyung waving at you in dim lighting. After getting to know Taehyung better, you don't question things like why he would be standing alone in the dark at the front of his restaurant.

You wave back as the man rushes towards the door to let you in.

"Don't you look beautiful tonight."

"Same goes to you Taehyung."

Really Taehyung was dressed in rather laid-back clothes then what he normally wears for dessert nights. However, he's always beautiful no matter what he does which is so unfair.

Glancing around the dark restaurant, you don't see anyone else, though that could be because of the poor lighting.

"Why is it to dark in here Tae, and where is everyone?"

"They're out back. We're trying out something different this time."

He makes a dramatic bow and holds his arm out to you. Giggling at his antics, you link arms with his and he leads you through the restaurant.

Taehyung pats your arm reassuringly before unlinking his from yours as the two of you stop at a table adorned with a set of candles. With another flourish he pulls out one of the chairs at the table for you to sit at.

You look at him, to the romantic table settings, and then to the chair before hesitantly sitting down.

"Ok Tae, what is going on?"

He just grins that boxy smile of his before moving back into the kitchen, leaving you to sit anxiously at the table. Your fingers fiddle together before a figure steps out from the kitchen.

A quiet gasp escapes you as you take in the man dressed in black walking slowly your way. He's wearing his normal working attire just like Taehyung, the black button up shirt, black slacks with belt; but this time the top few buttons are undone showing you a tease of skin. The sleeves are rolled up showing off his strong tattooed arms that he knows you admire.

And he's holding a bouquet of red tulips and orange blossoms.

"J-Jungkook..I..what are you..."

You turn in your seat, about to stand before he motions you to stay sitting. He kneels in front of you and takes your hand in his. He brings it up to his lips, his eyes never leaving yours as he places a delicate kiss on the back of your palm.

You feel your heart trying to beat out of your chest, blood flushes to your head and it feels really hot all of a sudden. He holds the flowers for you to take without letting your hand go.

"Someone told me you like these."

You take the flowers and breathe them in. "They're perfect."

"Just like you."

Your foot kicks out at him lightly, embarrassed at his words.

"The flowers are telling you to believe me you know. Do you, do you believe in me?"

You see the earnestness in his eyes as he looks at you, remember all of those non-accidental touches as his thumb runs circles on your hands, the sweet words that come out of those perfect lips, the way your heart beats faster every time he's near you and dulls when he is gone. How you dreamed of kissing him as you lick your lips, his eyes following the movement.

"I do."

He leans forward until his lips meet yours in a soft kiss. His lips trace over yours as soft as a petal would. Shyly, you push your lips towards his, continuing the kiss. Your grip on his hands tighten as the hand with flowers seeks the table blindly as your bodies come closer together. His free hand comes to hold the back of your head, tangling itself in your locks to angle your head to deepen the kiss. You can't stop the breathy moan that escapes your lips, making Jungkook smirk into the kiss.

"Ok, time for dessert!"

The yell makes you jump, startled to remember you are not exactly alone. Jungkook groans as he breaks the kiss and glares over his shoulder.

"Jin they were having a moment!" Yells out Yoongi as Jin bustles out of the kitchen carrying two plates of dessert.

"I don't want them to have any more of a moment because I don't want my place of business to become unsanitary with their fruitfulness."

"Don't worry boss, we'll take our fruitfulness somewhere else."

"Oh no you don't, not after Yoongi and I made you these. Now sit down and eat."

You hide your face with a groan. Some things change and then some never do.

[awedbynature]

A Christmas Debt

Characters: Loki x Reader

Category: Chaptered Story

Genre: Romance/ Friendship/ Love

Synopsis: The reader renders a great service to Loki unknowingly. Not used to being in anyone's debt, our favourite God of Mischief offers a strange favour in return. Will the reader trust him enough to take up the offer?

Previous Chapters: Chapter One

P. C. Pinterest

A/N: Thor's story, as recounted by Loki in this chapter, is an actual tale recorded in the Norse Mythology.

Also,

There's kind of a gift hidden within the chapter. Click the coloured text below to find out!

______________________Loki_____________________

Chapter Two

'He did what?’

You try to shush Natasha the best you can. She is incredulous at the news. ‘Y/N, this is Loki. He has a million wiles. I don’t want you falling victim to any one of them.’

‘I know,' you sigh. ‘But it is such a tempting offer.’

Nat rolls her eyes. She has never fully trusted Loki, not even after all the missions they have served together. Loki had been vital to some of the crucial operations the Avengers have been to, and most of them have given him their grudging trust. Not her. But that���s how she is.

You take another sip of coffee. It’s almost midnight and most of the others are lounging around, stuffed with cookies and fudges and in most cases some amount of Tony's prized liquor collection. Loki is not there. Probably in his room.

Just as you're taking another sip, savouring the aroma of the richly baked beans, Wanda saunters up to the counter. She is new to all this but looks like she’s enjoying every bit of it. Wanda is closer to you in age than Pepper and Natasha. She is more like a best friend to you than a sister, unlike Nat and Pepper.

She pours herself a cup of coffee and casually throws a hand around your waist, leaning against the counter and taking in the scene before her.

‘I saw Loki go after you,' she frowns. ‘What was that about?’

At your nod, Nat tells her everything.

Her eyes widen at the mention of the offer. ‘Did he really say that?!’

You nod wearily.

Wanda puts down her cup with a decisive thump and turns to you. ‘Well, I, for one, am totally in for it!’

'Really?!’ you can see Nat rolling her eyes again.

‘Of course,' continues Wanda. ‘What’s the harm? You don’t have to worry about your siblings ribbing you at dinner anymore! Isn’t that a huge plus?’

'B-but what if they ask for details? How we met and all?’

‘Then you make up some shit. Tell them you two met on a mission, or something. It’s not like you’ve to lie to them forever. It’s just one day!’

You heave a sigh, torn between taking up and declining the offer. But the prospect of being made the butt of jokes at the dinner table holds less appeal than blatant lying on your part. In the end, Wanda wins. You give a tiny nod of acquiescence.

‘I don’t like the idea,' Nat grumbles.

Wanda huffs, rolling her eyes. ‘She’s going to be fine. Now c’mon and show me what you’re going to wear tomorrow. We need to work on that first.’

You let her drag you off to your room, all the while thinking how best to approach Loki without appearing pathetic and pitiable. It’s just for one evening, you convince yourself. After all what do you have to lose?

***

You should not have listened to Wanda. You should not have let your depressed, lonely heart dictate your decisions. With so many things happening last night, you have hardly had a moment to think if you’d be alright with this entire charade. But now, cooped up in the cab and speeding towards a possible disaster, you feel a familiar dread creeping up your limbs and settling in your stomach. All of a sudden, being the object of pity and mild ridicule seems much more bearable. You give an involuntary shiver.

‘Are you alright?’ Loki casts a concerned glance your way.

'Mmhmmm,' you choke out, hugging your arms and giving them a rub.

Loki arches an eyebrow. ‘Pardon me, Ms Y/SN, but you most definitely do not sound alright.’’

'I'm fine.’

You relapse into silence. The cab has left the city and is speeding down a suburban road now.

Your morose thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a chuckle. You turn to find Loki laughing quietly to himself. Somehow the sight of him being so relaxed and graceful irritates you.

‘Do you find this funny?’

‘No. You just suddenly reminded me of my brother,' he says, passing a hand over his face to wipe away the remnants of his grin. ‘I had that feeling of—what do you Midgardians call it—something that seems to have happened before?’

‘Deja vu?’’

'Yes. It was the only time I had seen him nervous. More nervous than a bride on her wedding day. How fitting since he was actually in a wedding dress.’

What!

He chuckles some more, as an image of his hulking brother in a short wedding dress flashes across your eyes. Despite yourself, you snort, feeling the prick of curiosity.

'Why was he dressed as a—’

‘As a bride?’ He finishes for you. ‘It’s a hilarious story.'

‘It begins with my oaf of a brother having his precious Mjollnir stolen from him. Under mysterious circumstances.’ He winks and folds his hands behind his head.

'This happened when we were barely adults but considered ourselves grown up enough to venture out in search of adventures. One day, Thor woke up and found his hammer gone. Thor being Thor, immediately suspected me. Not that I’m saying I stole it. There was not enough evidence and so he discarded the idea eventually. But his hammer was truly gone and he was feeling helpless without it. Fearing the Allfather's wrath, he came to me for a hasty and discreet solution. I used all in my power to locate the hammer. At last we received news that the king of the ogres had stolen it and was demanding Freyja's hand in marriage as ransom.’’

'Who's Freyja?’

‘She is one like us. A goddess. She was considered the most beautiful among the Aesir for her golden hair and her deportment.’ His eyes take a faraway look, perhaps remembering his childhood friend.

'Anyway. So the ogre king was demanding something absolutely impossible for us to grant, yet the stakes were too high. What do we do? We decided to take the advice of the Gatekeeper of the Realm, wise Heimdall. He thought long and hard and decided that someone should dress up as the bride and go and retrieve the hammer. But none were brave enough to volunteer. So it finally fell on Thor to be the bride. ‘But my beard, and my figure!’ he exclaimed incredulously. Nobody heard him, poor thing. They decked him up in the finest bridal clothes and jewellery and wove flowers into his hair and put a veil over his disgruntled face—beard and all. You would not have found a more reluctant bride in the nine realms, nor a more muscular one. I was to dress as his handmaid, but that was not difficult. I could easily shapeshift into a young maid.’

By now, you are wheezing, clutching at the driver’s seat to keep yourself from toppling over. Loki cocks his head, observing you with eyes dancing with mirth, a smirk playing on his lips. He is definitely enjoying telling the story as much as you are enjoying listening to it.

'What happened next?’

'The ogres were foolish enough to believe us. They led us to the wedding banquet where Thor polished off most of the food without any help. His exuberant eating did raise suspicion and quite a few eyebrows but I managed to quell them before it got out of hand.’

'When their king announced that it was time for the wedding, they brought in Mjollnir and placed it in Thor’s lap. And the rest is history. I can assure you, none of the ogres lived long enough to tell the tale.’

Both of you dissolve into hearty chuckles. Loki heaves a sigh and instantly turns serious, ‘Please don’t tell Thor I told you this story. He’ll have my head in a platter if he finds out.’ There is a twinkle in his eyes but his face has gone back to that expressionless mask that all are used to seeing.

'You have my word,’ you reply, suddenly remembering with whom you’ve been acting chummy.

The scene outside is rapidly changing. Clusters of suburban houses and complexes have given way to long stretches of greenery. Which means you’ll be arriving any moment.

With a jolt, you realise that you had completely forgotten about your anxiety and apprehension. You feel more relaxed now, more yourself. Because of Loki. He was looking out for you. He knew you were nervous and wanted to put you at ease.

For the first time, you look at Loki in a different light. He is very much the roguish, evil, beguiling demigod that once almost destroyed an entire city, but somewhere underneath all the barbs and untruths lies a heart that still cares.

'I'm not sure this is a good idea,' you finally voice your anxiety. ‘What if they find out that this is all a lie, a pretence?’

Loki lazily crosses his legs and regards you with a piercing gaze. ‘Ms Y/Sn, perhaps you’re forgetting whom you are with. I have lied our way out of far more life-threatening situations numerous times. Thor lives because of my lies. This is nothing.’

‘What if they ask how we met and our answers do not match! I’ve watched too any sitcoms to know where that’ll lead.’

‘Then tell them the truth.’

‘Of course not! How am I supposed to tell my family that I met my apparent boyfriend after he was captured and imprisoned for masterminding the destruction of a whole city! They would rather watch me die single.’

‘Fine,’ he concedes. ‘Tell them we met during an operation.’

You fiddle with the hem of your dress, not fully convinced. Wanda had insisted on your dressing elegantly, and you had ended up borrowing one of Pepper’s gowns. If anything, it only makes you more nervous. You feel like you’re dressed in borrowed feathers.

‘Don’t fret, alskling,’ he says after some time. ‘The main trick of telling a lie is confidence. People are more likely to believe a bald-faced lie over a stammering truth.’

The cab finally rolls to a stop. Heart in your throat, you look at the familiar house, the neat lawn in front now decked with Christmas decorations, the old whitewashed fence and the ancient sycamore with the tire swing still hanging. Nothing much has changed around here.

‘Allow me,' the soft, crisp words bring you back to the present. You turn to find Loki coming round to your side to hold the door open. His face has taken a softer expression, the perfect look of a man in love and happily so. Slipping in and out of façades comes to him as easily as breathing. No wonder they call him the God of Lies.

He holds out his hand, his lips drawn into a smile. ‘Come, Ms Y/Sn. Let us show them.’

Well, here goes nothing, you take a deep breath, and step out of the cab.

To be continued...

Chapter Three available now

Tags: @lucywrites02 @lilyofthesword @country-cowgirl-101 @benji-booxx @loki-hiddlestoner3024 @outlawangel2020 @thefallenbibliophilequote @idontknowstudios @just-the-hiddles @myraiswack @noturningbacknow @natandersonnla @twhiddlestonsstuff

[kieraswriting]

Coffin Chapter Twenty

Masterpost

The next morning Virgil was doing much better. Patton finally felt like he could relax.

They were currently staying in a small cabin deep in the woods, far enough removed from civilization that they shouldn’t have to worry about being discovered. There were three teeny rooms, a bathroom, and a room that wasn’t really divided between kitchen and living room.

Virgil had moved to the couch, but was dozing off again.

Roman was making himself some toast, and rummaging around in the fridge for something to spread over it.

“... and really, strawberry is one of the best jellies for toast, especially with plenty of butter. But for pb&j, grape is better. Did you have a favorite? It wasn’t that long ago that you still ate jelly, right?” Roman finally came out of the fridge, turning to face Virgil as he waited for his answer.

Patton was watching Virgil as well, curious to see what he would say. To his surprise, and dread, Virgil looked absolutely terrified. He was staring fixedly at the butterknife held loosely in Roman’s hand.

Roman took a step forward, worry written all over his face. “Virgil?”

Virgil let out a sob, flinging himself backward. “No! No, please! Please!”

Patton got up quickly, going to Virgil to comfort him. But Virgil flinched away from his hands.

“No, no, no… please, please don’t! Please!”

Virgil shut his eyes tightly, pushing himself into the back of the couch and curling in on himself.

“I-I didn’t do anything! Please don’t!”

“Virgil, Virgil, it’s just me. It’s Patton.”

Virgil shook his head, burying it in his knees. “No, nonononono…”

His whole body was shaking, both from fear and from the sobs tearing out from his throat.

Patton put a hand gently on Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil reacted even more violently to that, jerking away harshly and letting out a broken cry as if the touch had burned him.

Tears were pouring down Patton’s face. What was he supposed to do?! His hands went up to his hair, tugging as he tried to think of something, anything to help Virgil.

Hands landed on top of his, guiding them down.

“Patton, don’t do this.”

Patton turned to see Roman, tears also running down his face, but calm, or at least much calmer than Patton was.

“How can you say that?!” Patton cried, much more loudly than he’d intended. Virgil flinched hard, and his sobbing got louder, the pleas becoming more and more broken.

An irrational anger seized Patton. “This is your fault!”

Roman reeled back as if the words had physically slapped him. For several seconds, his face was raw with pain, but then reverted to the determined calm. He moved forward, wrapping Patton in a hug. Patton struggled against it, especially as Roman tried to pick him up.

Roman took him away from Virgil.

Patton didn’t exactly scream. He’d hardly ever screamed in his life. But he certainly did kick and yell and pound his fists against Roman.

“Patton, Patton please, calm down.”

“No! You can’t take him away from me! Put! Me! Down!”

Roman made it into one of the bedrooms and closed the door, sitting on the bed with his arms firmly around Patton’s waist.

“Please, listen to me, Patton,” he said, his voice losing its calm a bit. “He doesn’t know it’s us right now. He’ll feel safer alone than with people he thinks would hurt him.”

Patton froze, and then went limp in Roman’s arms, sobbing desperately into his shoulder.

“I-I want to he-help him!” Patton sobbed.

Roman’s grip loosened a bit, and one hand rubbed firm circles on Patton’s back. “I know. I know you do. The best way to help him right now is to stay put, ok? Just stay with me.”

“I hate this!”

“I know, Pat, I hate it too. I hate it so bad for the both of you.”

Patton clung to Roman. He could still hear Virgil from the living room, pleading his innocence and begging not to be hurt. Patton felt like he lost the last bit of his sense then, turning into a sobbing mess.

“It’s alright. I’ve got you. I’m not letting go.” Roman said soothingly.

•^*^��•

They’d been driving for ages. Ages and ages.

Dee only opened his mouth before Thomas was answering him sharply. “Don’t you dare complain. It’s all your own fault. If you want it to be over, find us a place where we can stop.”

There was silence for several minutes.

“I said I was sorry.”

Thomas abruptly pulled over. He turned to Dee, his eyes edging from anger into upset. “Do you even know how badly you scared me?”

Dee thought about it, his head drooping as he nodded. “Thomas, I’m sorry.”

Thomas blinked hard, rubbing his palm against his eyes. He sighed. “I forgive you. But if you ever…. I can’t--I can’t stand the thought of what might have happened, Dee. I can’t.”

Dee only had to reach out a little bit, and Thomas was pulling him into a hug. It was a bit awkward, trying to hug while in different seats in a car, but in the moment, it didn’t matter.

“So when’s the show gonna get good? ” Remus said obnoxiously.

Thomas sent him a withering glare. “I’m not done being mad at you, though.”

Remus shrugged. “I’ll add you to the list.”

•^*^••

Had he done it? That’d been surprisingly easy. Surely something wasn’t quite right.

And yet Logan was now looking at an online map. It updated every minute, with orange dots for reported vampire sightings, and red dots for confirmed vampires. The amount of light on the map was concerning.

Though it was true that he’d never tried to access this information before, and thus has no basis for how long or difficult it should be, Logan couldn’t help but think that this had been too fast. Too easy.

He shut off his computer, unplugging it for good measure, before going downstairs.

Emile was sitting on the floor, winding yarn around his fingers. Somehow he was weaving it, and Logan could see nearly a foot of it hanging from the back of his hand. He was also listening to a radio drama, which he paused when Logan reached the bottom of the staircase.

“Hi, Logan! How’s it going?”

Logan sat down near him. “I think I’ve found the way to be the early warning system.”

Emile beamed, sunshiny energy radiating from him, and not at all matching the worry Logan felt. “That’s excellent! I knew you’d get it at some point.”

Logan couldn’t really frown in the face of that, but his face stayed solemn. “It’s just— it’s too easy. There’s no way I should’ve been able to access that. I barely had to do anything even resembling ‘hacking’.”

Emile sobered, nodding slowly. “And you think it could be a trap?”

Logan nodded.

“In that case, we’ll have to use it sparingly, if we use it at all.”

Logan nodded. “I’d be more inclined to avoid using it entirely.”

Emile looked thoughtful. “Do you think that you could find another way, or that they’d all have the same problem?”

Logan thought about it for a bit. “It’s possible either way.”

Emile nodded. “Why don’t you get something to eat, and then take a short rest. After that, you can call the other teams and make sure they’re still doing well. After that, try again. You’ll have had time to let the idea sit in the back of your head, and I’m sure you’ll have an easier time thinking about it.”

That made sense. “I’ll do that. Thank you, Emile.”

“No problem!”

Logan ate, grateful that Emile had been the one to go shopping. After a nap, he picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Logan. What’s up?” Dee said. Which was odd, since he’d called Thomas’s phone.

“I’m ensuring that you’re alright.”

“Yeah, we’re fine. We’re staying at a campground for the night. How’s Virgil?”

“I haven’t called them yet. It’s possible that they won’t have enough service.”

“Mm. Well, if you get an update, call us back.”

“I’ll do that.”

“Thanks. Want to talk with Thomas?”

“It’s not necessary, unless he has something else to tell me.”

There was a pause. “Yeah, I think he might.”

“Hello? Logan?” Thomas asked.

“Hello, Thomas. Dee said you had something you wished to tell me?”

There was an exasperated sigh. “Yeah. So he and Remus went and busted up a prison. The inmates and the vampires scattered, and we left, so I don’t know what happened after.”

Ah, so that had been the cluster of red dots. It had been remarkably more dense than any others.

“Are you sufficiently far away from it now?”

“Yeah, we’re a good 150 miles away now. Dee doesn’t think that they were recognized or anything. Remus thralled the guards apparently.”

“Alright. While this is certainly not ideal, as long as you believe you haven’t been followed, and as long as it doesn’t happen again, it should be fine. A large number of hunters will be focusing on the prison, not on possible vampires driving cross-country.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.”

Logan nodded, and then remembered that Thomas couldn’t see him nodding. “Well, thank you for the report. I will call again in a few days.”

“Yep! Nice to talk to you, Logan.”

“Likewise.”

Logan hung up the phone and dialed a very familiar number.

•^*^••

It was several hours later when the door to the bedroom opened.

Patton gripped Roman tight as if he was being pulled away. “Virgil.”

Virgil stood in the doorway, his face still streaked with tears, and his head down. “Sorry. That wasn’t—wasn’t fair to you at all.”

Patton shook his head vigorously, letting go of Roman. “Can I hug you now?”

Virgil looked up, fresh tears welling in his eyes. “Please.”

Patton rushed to him immediately, hugging him tight, and breaking into tears again.

Roman slowly got up. He was… tired. They must be too. He guided the pair to the bed.

“Why don’t you two lay down? You need a break.”

Patton looked at him with an almost pout, his forehead creasing in a frown. “Not without you. You’ve had to be strong for all of us. There’s no way you’re missing the group hug.”

Roman just… he felt numb. And tired. But if they laid down for the group hug he could fall asleep.

So he agreed. As he expected, once they were all laid together Virgil and Patton dropped right off. But he was left awake. Somehow, even with how tired he was, he couldn’t seem to shut his eyes.

A long time later, his phone buzzed in his pocket, breaking him out of the slight doze.

“Hey, Lo,” he said, quietly enough not to wake Patton and Virgil.

“Hello, Roman. Is everything alright there?”

“I mean, yeah, more or less.”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, why?”

“Usually your answers are more confident.”

Roman hesitated, feeling his eyes prickle for a minute. “Yeah, it’s— I’m fine.”

“Forgive me if I do not believe you. Has something happened?”

“Yeah… it’s dealt with now, though.”

“What was it?”

“Virgil had a— a flashback or something. He couldn’t stand for us to touch him, or be near him, so I took Patton into the other room until they calmed down some. They’re asleep now.”

“Roman, while I usually appreciate your brevity, I can’t help but feel that you’re hiding something from me. Would you tell me again? From the beginning?”

Roman squeezed his eyes shut, but that didn’t stop the tears from leaking out. He had to take several breaths before he could speak. “It was my fault. I had a butter knife, and I didn’t even think about how it would look. I-I stepped toward him, and it was in my hand. Logan I— he was terrified of me! I-I-I couldn’t do anything.”

“Roman, no. A butter knife is a completely innocuous item. Had what happened to Virgil not happened, there would be no problem. None at all.”

It was getting very hard to keep quiet, so Roman started untangling himself, and easing out of the bed.

“But it did happen! I should’ve known. Logan it’s—I-I hurt him! And Patton!”

“No. Roman, both from what you’ve said and also from what I know of you, I’m absolutely certain that you did everything in your power to help them both.”

“But I’m the one to hurt them in the first place!” Roman said, his voice cracking.

There was a brief murmur on the other end of the phone as Logan spoke to someone else.

“Roman, the one that hurt Patton and Virgil was Liam Hart. Not you. Where are you at this moment?”

“In the living room.” Roman scrubbed at his face.

“I want you to go out the front door.”

“What? But—“

“Do this for me, Roman. I will text Patton so that he will know where you’ve gone if he wakes up.”

“O-ok.” Roman went outside. “I’m outside.”

“Good. Now I want you to walk forward briskly. Keep going until I tell you to stop.”

Roman started walking. Logan kept talking about something technical he was working on, occasionally reminding Roman to walk briskly. Roman didn’t understand half of what Logan said, but the distraction was welcome.

“Alright, now stop.”

Roman stopped. “What is this for?”

“Imagine a circle,” Logan said. The cabin you are staying in is the center, and you are now on the edge.”

“Ok.”

“The circumference of the circle is your perimeter. I want you to walk the perimeter. Take in your surroundings, so that you can recognize where you are. You may do this at whatever speed you wish.”

Roman turned and started walking. “Ok, but what is this for?”

“While you walk the perimeter, I want you to tell me again what happened. Go into detail.”

It took Roman a good three minutes to begin, but Logan waited patiently. And then the story came flooding forth. At every pause, Logan again reassured Roman that what happened was not his fault, that he had helped, and had prevented further harm.

“I-I got back to where I started,” Roman said, sniffing.

“Well done, Roman. I want you to walk the perimeter one more time. This time, I want you to tell me what you can change. Whatever, no matter how small or how large. What can you change to prevent another similar situation, or to help if a similar situation happens again.”

“I don’t know what else to do!” Roman protested. “I did everything I knew to, and it wasn’t any good!”

“On the contrary. You did a lot of good. They are right now calmly asleep, and you brought that about. Now think of something. Could you perhaps remove the butter knives from the house?”

“Y-yeah. I could do that. Or—or paint them with something so they don’t look like silver.”

“Excellent. What else can you change?”

By the time Roman again reached the point where he started, he was feeling worlds better, and was filled with ideas that made him feel like he really could do something next time.

“Now, head back inside. Patton is awake, and I believe he will want to speak with you as well.”

“Thanks, Logan. I really, really needed that.”

Roman could hear the surprised smile in Logan’s voice. “I’d be willing to help anytime you need it. Though the perimeter will always be there. Feel free to use it again if you find yourself spiraling.”

“I will. Thank you.”

Roman hung up the phone, which had only 3% left on it, and looked up to see Patton waiting for him on the porch.

“Roman!” Patton ran into him, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry! I said something really, really hurtful. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.”

Roman hugged Patton back. “I forgive you. You were upset, and didn’t know what you were doing.”

“No I wasn’t. I-I knew. It was supposed to hurt you. But I’m so sorry I did it!”

Roman held Patton tighter. “I still forgive you. Come on, let’s go back inside. None of us really ate anything today.”

“Ok. Thank you.”

Roman gave Patton a smile before opening the door.

[awkwardpenguinproductions]

Stealth Chapter 2: The Dare

Part 5 of the Dragon of the Yuyan

Read on AO3 | Series Masterpost

The second time is because of a dare.

It’s not officially on his duty roster, and hasn’t been for nearly six months, but Zuko always tries to visit the komodo-rhino stables at least four or five times a week. Stablemaster Guo appreciates the help—there are eight rhinos, and only three stablehands and him. The Stronghold doesn’t have a dedicated cavalry troop that would take care of the rhinos as part of their official duties, and the rhinos themselves are mostly used to help hail supplies from the harbor once or twice a month. In the meantime, the rhinos have to be fed, watered, exercised, and have their stalls mucked, as well as their health and training maintained and their tack serviced, all at least once a day but often several times a day. With only four people officially assigned to the stables and so much work to be done, there’s little time leftover for anyone to really give the poor beasts the individual attention they need. So Zuko does his best to fill in the gaps, spending as much time as he can spare giving the huge animals pets and rubbing their long horns with oiled cloths to keep them smooth and shiny.

Kai sometimes hangs out in the stables, well away from the animals who like to tease him by grunting threateningly at him and poking at him with their horns. Kai’s first experience with komodo-rhinos came from this herd, and they have long memories.

Today Zuko is brushing shed skin off of Daisy, one of the more docile rhinos, while Kai sits on a hay bale and makes color commentary. Another friend of theirs, an apprentice mechanic named Min-Seo, leans in the stables’ open doorway with her arms crossed and her nose wrinkled.

“Ugh, I don't get why you like these things," Min-Seo complains. "Smelly, dumb as rocks, and you actually have to train them to do what you want? At least with a tank, if it's not doing something right, you can take it apart and fix it."

Zuko shoots Min-Seo a dirty look as Kai shakes from the force of his silent laughter. Don't listen to the mean grease hog-monkey, he signs to Daisy, who stares calmly at him out of one half-lidded eye as she chews on some feed. You're a good rhino, and nobody is taking you apart. He rubs her behind the ear and continues removing the shed skin from her scaly hide with his soft brush.

He's so focused on his work (rhinos shed a LOT) that he misses most of the conversation, but there's no way he can miss Min-Seo's challenge.

"I dare you to take one of the tanks for a joyride," she crows, and Zuko peeks over Daisy's head to gulp at Min-Seo's toothy grin. "I'll slip you the key to the garage during dinner tonight. It should be easy to do a lap around the Central Tower, since it's so simple to drive, right?"

You're on! Kai signs, grinning back.

Zuko rests his forehead against Daisy's shoulder and pinches his nose. Agni help me.

Min-Seo does indeed drop off the key to the garage where the tanks are stored at dinnertime, dropping it down the collar of Kai’s tunic as she nonchalantly places a hand on the back of his neck and giggles weirdly. The whole thing kind of makes Zuko want to gag, but they have the key and now all they need to do is wait for light’s out.

It’s not until they’re standing in the cockpit of their chosen tank that they realize their (Kai’s) mistake.

The tank needs three people to drive it—two to steer, and one (usually a firebender) to stoke the engine. They look at each other and climb out, standing on top of the thing and debating who to ask to be their third.

The sound of snapping fingers slices through the silence of the garage and sends a jolt down Zuko’s spine. He and Kai freeze, staring at each other for a split second, before turning and looking down.

Jiyoti stands beside their tank, staring up at them with the most unimpressed expression Zuko has ever seen on her face. What do you two idiots think you’re doing?

Kai was dared to try and drive a tank around the Central Tower, but we need a third person, Zuko signs immediately, scowling. I can't babysit the engine and drive at the same time.

Forget it, Danger Noodle, Jiyoti's too much of a goody-goody to help us. Kai rubs his hand over his face, and if he was wearing his Yuyan facepaint it would be all smeared. Ugh, I'm going to have to tell Min-Seo we couldn't do it, she's going to be all smug and insufferable.

Wait, Min-Seo dared you to drive a tank? Jiyoti asks, brow furrowing.

Zuko blinks. Yeah?

The scowl on Jiyoti's face is one that Zuko's never seen her wear before. Get in the tank, losers, we've got a grease-hog-monkey to show up.

Kai and Zuko exchange a baffled glance, and get in the tank.

Zuko takes his place in the center of the cockpit above the grate where the engine fire is meant to burn. Kai and Jiyoti each take a driver's seat.

Nice mask, Zuko, Jiyoti taps out, switching to the signal-language the Yuyan use when too far away to see hand-language. It's primarily used with signal lamps, but the short and long bursts translate equally between light and sound.

Zuko slips his Blue Spirit mask back down over his face, smoothing out the snug hood he's wearing underneath to cover his hair. Thanks, he taps out in return. Ignition in three… two… one!

He forces fire from his feet through the grate, directly heating the boilers that run the tank. Firebending like this, without a form to guide the chi flow, is more difficult than he'd anticipated, but he keeps his breathing deep and even and steady and pretends that he's using the fire jet technique to fly. This actually works slightly too well, and he has to hold on tight to the handrails that encircle the grate to keep his balance.

The boilers heat up quickly, and soon they're chugging out of the garage (Jiyoti makes Kai hop out and close the garage door behind them) and well on their merry way around the base of the Central Tower. Zuko's not sure why no one has stopped them yet, and he's not really sure what they'd do if they are, since he can't speak and Kai and Jiyoti took vows when they joined the Archers that they wouldn't.

They complete the circle around the Central Tower, and something feels… unfinished. The three youngest members of Chihese Squad pause.

Tank has grap hook, Zuko taps out.

Park tank on roof? Kai asks.

Aim for finial, Jiyoti suggests.

As the most consistently accurate one of the three, Kai mans the tank's grappling hook, and hooks the ornate rod on the Stronghold roof on the first try.

Zuko, hold on tight, Jiyoti taps. She and Kai are strapped into their seats, but Zuko's still too short to sit in his position's seat and still firebend into the boiler cavity without the possibility of flames escaping. The tank jerks as the winch starts forcing the contraption up, and Zuko finds himself sitting on the edge of the grate platform, keeping his feet flat against the grate and hugging the railing for dear life. His fire sputters for a second as he gasps in surprise, but he quickly finds his rhythm again.

The winch does not work fast, and Zuko has plenty of time to consider the fact that they're hanging in a metal contraption in thin air, suspended only by a chain hooked around a decorative lightning rod, and he has to focus on his breathing before the terror overwhelms the exhilaration.

Finally, the tank shudders as first the front tread axle, then the back, hits the steeply sloped Stronghold roof. Jiyoti deploys the dozen telescoping spikes that ensure the tank stays in place, and Kai disengages the grappling hook from the finial and winches it back. Zuko douses his firebending and even attempts to suck the heat out of the boilers, with mixed success.

Well, now what? Jiyoti signs. We got the infernal machine on the roof, but how do we get down?

There's a hatch for roof access somewhere around here, Zuko signs, remembering his forays into the walls and ductwork of the complex. We need to hurry, sunrise is in about four hours.

They gingerly exit the tank, and Zuko finds the roof access hatch. With all of the stealth trained into them by the Archers, the three make it back to the dorm without alerting anyone to their presence.

Thanks losers, that was great, let's never do it again, Jiyoti signs before slipping into bed.

Spoilsport, Kai tosses back, flopping onto his own bed.

Zuko slips his mask and hood into his footlocker, pulls off his boots and lines them up under the foot of his bed, and loosens his clothes until they turn back into sleepwear. He'll be awake again in about three hours, but as soon as his head touches his pillow and Pandan is in his arms he's deeply asleep.

The next morning, the entire Stronghold is buzzing like a vulture-wasp nest, and Zuko, Kai, and Jiyoti are nursing the strongest wake-up tea they can bribe out of the kitchen. On their way out to PT with the rest of the squad, they pass nearly the entire Stronghold Tank Corps, clustered in the center of the Innermost Courtyard and all staring up at the Stronghold roof in shocked bafflement.

Min-Seo turns her wide eyes on Zuko and Kai as they pass, and Kai gives her his best smirk as he and Zuko tap their knuckled fists together. Mission accomplished.

That is the second time.

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[introvertguide]

High Noon (1952); AFI #27

Our next film up for review is the not-so-standard western, High Noon, starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly. The movie was nominated for seven Academy Awards and took home four trophies for Best Actor, Best Editing, Best Music, and Best Song. Westerns at the time were generally focused on the flawless hero who everybody loves and the citizens that band together to fight the bad guy. The good guys were all good and the bad guys were all bad. This is not the case with current film and it was one of the few Westerns nominated for Best Director, Best Picture, and Best Writing (although these were the awards that the movie did not win). It is a genre film that completely went against type. I really want to continue but I realize that now is the time to go through the plot, so let us first give the warning...

SPOILER ALERT!!! I AM GOING TO SPOIL THE WHOLE MOVIE AND IT IS WELL WORTH SEEING SO DON’T READ FURTHER UNTIL YOU WATCH ON YOUR OWN!!! IT IS ONLY 85 MINUTES LONG SO GIVE IT A CHANCE!!! IT IS VERY WORTH YOUR TIME TO SEE WITHOUT IT BEING SPOILED!!!!

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Remember that the film has a run time of 85 minutes and this is the amount of time that passes in the movie. With this in mind, there will be no “meanwhile” or “while that was happening...” in this review. Everything is shown that matters and assume that time is passing for everyone in town whether or not they are on screen.

Three men meet outside Hadleyville, a small town in the New Mexico Territory, are gathered and ride over to the train station to wait for a train. The scene switches to the retirement and wedding of Marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper), newly married to Amy Fowler (Grace Kelly), as he kisses his bride and turns in his badge and gun. The happy couple will soon depart for a new life to raise a family and run a store in another town. However, word arrives that Frank Miller, a vicious outlaw whom Kane sent to jail, has been released and will arrive on the noon train. Miller's gang—his younger brother Ben (Sheb Wooley), Jack Colby (Lee Van Cleef), and Jim Pierce (Robert Wilke)—are the three men awaiting his arrival at the train station. It is not directly stated by the three men, but it is clear that Miller intends to exact revenge since Kane put him in jail previously. A glance at the clock shows it is 10:45. This is especially a problem since the new marshal won’t arrive until the next day and Kane doesn’t want to leave the town with no protection.

Amy is a devout Quaker and pacifist so the solution is simple—leave town before Miller arrives. They actually start out in their buggy, but Kane turns around and takes them both back to the jailhouse because Kane insists on facing Miller and his men. "They're making me run", he tells her. "I've never run from anybody before." At this point, it is assumed that Kane will get his deputies and form a posse to face Miller. He is the beloved retiring lawman and the town had banded together before to put the man in jail in the first place. Amy gives Kane an ultimatum saying she is leaving on the noon train whether he joins her or not. Kane says he has to stay so they basically split up literally minutes after being married by the Justice of the Peace. 

Kane finds one man that immediately volunteers and then goes to the deputy Harvey Pell (Lloyd Bridges). Pell won’t help unless Kane puts in a good word and actually quits because he believes that Kane didn’t promote him to Marshall because of some old grudge over a woman. Kane denies even knowing about the relationship and Pell turns in his star and quits. Another person that Kane thought would help is Judge Percy Mettrick (Otto Kruger), who he finds packing up to get out of town because he doesn’t believe he will survive. The judge is the one who actually sentenced Miller, and believes the outlaw will want him dead.

Further dialogue reveals that Will Kane had stolen the lover of Frank Miller, a Mexican women named Helen Ramirez (Katy Jurado), and this was what prompted Miller to go wild and convinced the town to have him arrested. Kane is no longer with Ramirez and was not aware that she had been sleeping with the deputy. All together, it seems like Kane is not that great of a guy and that Miller has a legitimate grudge with him. The whole town knows this and some of them want Miller to kill Kane, so nobody will help him and he is again encouraged to leave. One friend named Sam Fuller hides in his house and has his wife cover for him. The old marshal is played by freaking Lon Chaney and he won’t help because he notes that members of law enforcement die and nobody really cares. Nobody at the church will help and even the one guy who volunteered backs out because he realizes it will be a slaughter. The only person who openly offers to help is a young boy, but Kane rejects that help and tells the boy to go home.

All this happens and is taking up the time before the noon train. Helen realizes that one of the men she loved will die and the lack of town support upsets her. Amy goes up to meet Helen and the two decide that they will go on the noon train together. Ramirez says she would stay with Kane and not abandon him, but Amy tells her own story of tragedy (she watched her father and brother die in a shoot out). 

Deputy Pell again expresses his anger at not being named the new marshal and so he corners Kane in the horse stables and demands that he be made made the marshal and Kane ride out of town. Their conversation becomes an argument, and then a fist fight. Kane finally knocks his former deputy senseless. Forlorn, Kane returns to his office to write out his will as the clock hits high noon.

Frank Miller (Ian MacDonald) arrives on the noon train and his group of men are waiting for him with a gun belt. Helen and Amy get on the train as the outlaws ride into town. There is a very famous overhead shot which shows Kane all alone in the streets with a genuine look of fear, assuming that all of his friends have deserted him and he is about to die. The gang walks into town and starts shooting at Kane, which Amy hears from the train and she decides to go back and help. Kane is able to gun down Ben Miller and Colby but is wounded and hides in the stable. He escapes by hanging on to a fleeing horse but is again cornered by the outlaws at the jailhouse. Amy runs into town and takes a gun from one of the bodies and hides. She is able to sneak up and shoot Pierce from behind. Frank Miller sees this and takes her hostage to call out Kane. The marshal comes out and Amy scratches at Miller to let her go and Kane gets the opportunity to gun down Frank Miller.

Kane helps his bride to her feet and they embrace. As the townspeople emerge and cluster around him, Kane throws his marshal's star in the dirt, glares at the crowd, and departs with Amy on their wagon.

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I keep harping on about how this was not like any standard western of the time and I should probably explain more clearly now that the plot is known. Movies at the time focused on the American marshal as a pseudo superhero. They were honest and always on the side of good, they could ride horses and outshoot any outlaw, everybody loved them except bad guys, and women swooned in their wake. They also tended to be ruggedly handsome, tough as nails, and fearless. The antagonist, on the other hand, was completely wrong and had bad moral character. These bad guys mistreated women, disobeyed the law on purpose, stole, robbed, cheated, and had ugly scars. They traveled in groups in an attempt to intimidate people, but they were no match for the single good guy. But this movie changed everything.

An old marshal who just retired to marry a much younger woman sticks around town to fight a man whom he convicted to die. This villain had an issue with the old marshal because the lawman had stolen his woman. The deputy won’t stand with the retired marshal after being passed over for the job opening and many of the town members won’t help because they think the marshal should leave and let the new marshal deal with the problem. The marshal is scared and alone when he takes on the villains and it is his young bride who actually comes to his aid while he cowers in the jailhouse. At the end, the marshal throws his star on the ground and leaves without saying anything else. 

All members of the cast need to be commend on acting against character type because the general sense of fear at what was coming explained the realistic choice of most of the town running away. It is almost comical when all of the villains are dead and the entire town comes pouring into the streets and it is obvious that there were more than enough men to make a posse and easily protect the town. But the only person that came to help when it counted was a female 20-year-old pacifist Quaker. 

It has been noted by directors and film critics that this was not a very strong performance by Grace Kelly, especially when next to veteran Mexican actress Katy Jurado. Alfred Hitchcock later noted that she played a very meek part for such a strong role, but saw something in her (likely her blond hair and good looks) and gave her a much more fitting part when he cast her for Dial M for Murder, Rear Window, and To Catch a Thief. 

I could not find the film on any of the subscription services when I was looking to watch it so I had the DVD shipped through Netflix. This is a good way to go because I got to watch some DVD extras and learned that everybody and their dad was attached to the making of this film. The cinematographer was Floyd Crosby, the father of rock/folk singer David Crosby. The Deputy was played by Lloyd Bridges, who had two young children on set, Beau and Jeff Bridges. According to the extras, Beau was actually in the barn loft watching during the fight between Kane and his deputy. The singer of the theme song was country musician Tex Ritter, father of actor John Ritter. A very rich history of Hollywood royalty in this single movie.

Many of the actors and writers involved in the film were concerned that they were going to get black listed for being part of this production. It was the early 50s and the Red Scare was at its height in the United States. Many actors and screenwriters were being publicly prosecuted for committing acts against America, and any movie that did not actively promote patriotism was in danger of being accused of being communist. It was a bad time for Westerns that were innovative or went against the norm, which partially explains complaints that many films in the genre during the 50s were the same. This film that depicted a lawman sticking to what he believed in and finding all his friends shunning him was interpreted by some as promoting communism or attacking McCarthyism. Director Zinnemann did say he had all this on his mind during the filming and would consider it an allegory for the Hollywood blacklisting, but that was not necessarily the point from the start.

So should this movie be on the AFI 100? Absolutely! It is part of the most American of genres at a focal point in the country’s history, yet flies in the face of all the standards of that genre. Despite this, it still was nominated for a bunch of awards and highly acclaimed by liberal and conservative leaning viewers alike. The movie is full of Old Hollywood greatness as far as the stars and the crew. The AFI list was created for innovative Americana like this. Would I recommend it? Absolutely! Just the innovate shots and the use of real time alone makes for a great watch. The story is great and the acting is great. There are few movies on the AFI list with pacing this good and it is a very easy film to watch and enjoy. Highly recommend.

[1000scrubs]

Round 1: Corporeal Dread

Writer Corporeal Dread’s entry for the initial prompts from 2 years ago

Nyfah scowled at the blinking light on her instrument cluster. She knew her calculations had been correct, but something was wrong. Her fuel was running out much faster than predicted, something had to be done to fix it, and it had to be done now. Sighing heavily she stood and made her way to the storage bay and began dragging her remaining provisions and weapons onto the bridge. 

After shoving as many crates as possible into the much smaller room she sealed the doors between the two areas, then, cursing quietly to herself, punched a button on the wall. She flinched as a loud siren began sounding, and the ship began to tremble violently. As the storage bay sheared away from the ship the screeching of metal grinding against metal melded into the cacophony of the blaring siren. Ears ringing, she desperately tried to shut it off. Pressing button after button, and typing commands into the ship’s interface yielded no results, until finally she ripped open a panel in the wall and sliced the cable providing power to the siren. 

Tensely Nyfah returned to her captain’s chair, as she sat, she turned her full attention to the radar and infrared sensor. It showed nothing but a dull blinking light of the storage bay falling away as the ship sped on. She watched as the light slowly disappeared, the abandoned piece of hull no longer in range. She waited another hour, monitoring the fuel gauge to determine if the reduced weight had worked. It seemed she was safe for now, and without the storage bay she would make it to Portunus.

——-

“LHY-825 requesting clearance to dock”. Nyfah’s voice sounded cracked and hoarse after hours of silence. 

The responding voice was cold and bureaucratic,“Noted LHY-825, please wait for confirmation.” 

Portunus was a small planet in one of the spiral “arms” of its galaxy located in the Virgo Supercluster, it was mainly used as a tourist destination and metropolitan hub. The entire outer surface had been converted into docking bays and landing ports, but beneath that, there was an entire multi-level subterranean city that held markets run by all sorts, from every corner of the known universe.The planet was usually visited by billions daily; however that number had dipped recently due to rumours of attacks and violence emerging from the lower levels of the planet. As a result there had been an increase in galactic enforcers and their patrol routes both on and around the planet, to ensure safety for the vendors and tourists. Nyfah knew she would have to be discreet so as to not get caught.

“LHY-825 you are cleared for landing, please proceed to bay 2593.” 

“LHY-825, proceeding to bay 2593.” She put down her transmitter and coasted the ship to her assigned landing bay. As the traction beam began pulling the ship in, she shut off its engines. 

Once her ship had come to a stop she changed into a delivery service uniform. She stretched as she disembarked stiff from sitting for so long then assessed the damage to the ship’s exterior. She breathed a sigh of relief, counting herself lucky that there was only minor external damage where the storage bay had been removed, and that she wouldn’t need to repair it right away. 

Nyfah inspected the fuel tank for external damage, and was annoyed to find an intermittent stream of liquid dripping out of a small bullet hole. She thought she had managed to bypass the galactic enforcer’s checkpoint without incurring damage by doing it in hyperspace, but it would appear otherwise. Knowing it would draw suspicion she glanced around casually, stepped in front of it, jabbed her knife into the hole and wiggled it back and forth.

Once the damage had been sufficiently disguised Nyfah ordered a quick-patch and a fuel refill, then picked up a small crate she had brought from the ship and stepped onto an elevator to the markets. 

——-

After a few moments in the dim elevator, playing quiet relaxing music, the doors slid open and a disorienting wave of noise, colour, and bright lights washed over Nyfah. In every direction neon signs flashed obnoxiously, many of the shop exteriors were overly adorned, trying to attract the highest number of customers possible. 

In all directions vendors shouted; advertising their wares, each trying to outsell the other. In addition to the ambient noise of the tourists shouting to each other to be heard over the vendors, Nyfah could barely hear herself think.

Groups in bizarre outfits bustled around the large open area excitedly motioning to each other. Most of them wore rich, vibrant, expensive fabrics and extravagant jewelry, likely rich tourists ready to spend their wealth. They contrasted harshly with who Nyfah figured were the planet’s inhabitants, visiting from the lower levels. The inhabitants were sparse compared to the densely packed tourists, and wore cheap plain materials in earthy tones.

The Portunians worked mainly to ensure the higher levels were functioning at their best for the tourists, and it was very rare for them to own any of the shops. The people were paid little and taxed by the number of inhabitants per level, causing them to live in perpetual poverty. 

Most of the shop owners had come to Portunus already very wealthy as the shops were also heavily taxed by the planetary government,in addition to the exorbitant annual lease fees. 

It was unlike any environment she had ever experienced before. She hated it, but she knew she was practically invisible here, she sighed feeling conflicted.

The areas around the elevators were large and cavernous. The walls looked like rough stone and dirt at first, but they were coated in a semi-shiny substance, most likely to strengthen them. The coating didn’t help with the awful lights. Tunnels lead off in other directions creating a honeycomb like shape, they were tall and wide and they all led to areas similar to the one side was in, making the markets very hard to navigate. 

Nyfah stepped out of the lift and shook off her stupor. She pulled up directions on her augmented retinal display (ARD) and began making her way through the crowds and kiosks.

Finally she found the shop she was looking for, it had a larger storefront than most of the other permanent shops and had a giant pink neon sign presenting its name, through the window she saw an array of garments, and all manner of showcases with figurines and other decorative artifacts. She stepped under the awning and made her way to the back of the store to the service counter.

She placed the crate on the desk, and said hesitantly “Hello, I’m looking for...Halsir.”

The tall, pink woman behind the counter turned around defensively. “Who’s asking?” 

“I have a rush delivery, the name on the order is Halsir”

Before Nyfah had even finished her sentence the woman was beaming and bouncing on her feet.

“Oh, you’re early! My sweet boy, he’s finally here! I’ve been beside myself” She squealed.

Nyfah, carefully pried the lid off the crate and stepped back.

Halsir gingerly lowered her hands into the box and lifted out a furry creature, it had a long slim neck and limbs, with bird-like feet, and a feline face.

“Hello sweetheart, how was the ride?” 

The creature chittered at the woman, and she turned a concerned gaze on Nyfah.

“He said there was a loud noise that scared him, I hope that you didn’t run into any trouble on the way here!”

Nyfah frowned at the tattletale pet “No ma’am. I had a minor mechanical issue and there was an alarm, it didn’t ring for long.”

The woman’s jovial smile returned to her face and she placed the creature onto the counter. “Wonderful dear, here you are.”

She tossed a small flat square into Nyfah’s outstretched hand and began retreating to the back room.

Nyfah stared at it, her arm still extended. “What am I supposed to do with this?” She asked incredulously “I require the second half of my payment! We agreed half up front and half upon delivery, I’ve kept my end of the deal!”

Halsir turned and smiled at her “Believe me dear, what you’ll find on that is worth much more than I could pay you”

Nyfah rolled her eyes “If it’s worth that much why are you giving it to me instead of what we agreed on?”

“Because!” Halsir walked back over, “I’m far too old and delicate to go treasure hunting. I was given good intel that this treasure is a grail, but none of my customers will buy the map! Anyone who is able to recover the goods will go down in history as the all-time best treasure hunter to ever live, the greatest honour and glory. Also to be honest with you I thought you were just a small-time smuggler, but I saw a poster just the other day and your bounty is quite high. I figured if you were able to find the treasure you could pay off the right people. I needed to get my sweet baby angel…”

Honour and glory? Nyfah’s eyes widened, she had been trying to make a name for herself for years. She was one of the best smugglers in the business; but being a smuggler meant staying under the radar. She wanted to be somebody. Rich, envied, maybe even mystic in reputation. This was an opportunity that could lead to all of that! If it was real…

“Wait, wait, wait,” Nyfah interrupted, “what is this so-called treasure, and how can you guarantee that it is what you say it is and that it will be there?”

“I got the intel from my supplier. He has never lied to me; I know I can trust him. As for what it is, it is an ancient relic said to depict a god so old no-one alive knows the religion it belonged to. Depictions of it were found in some ancient writings though” Halsir paused, trying to remember something.

Nyfah frowned, this whole thing could be some kind of trick.

“I’m going to need collateral” she finally responded, not realizing that Halsir had resumed talking. 

“I understand dear, you mysterious types aren’t very trusting. I’ll just pay you the second half of your fee” 

‘Mysterious types’ Nyfah thought smiling slightly, she paused, “all right, if I do find this treasure, I’ll come back and pay you a finders fee. If it isn’t, you’ll know your supplier is full of it.” 

“Deal.” Halsir handed the outstanding balance to Nyfah. “Good luck my dear.”

“Thanks, maybe I’ll see you later.” Nyfah called back, grinning, as she exited the shop.

——-

Nyfah held the square up to the light as she began the walk back to her ship. The tech was old, almost outdated, but her ship’s interface would be able to read it. As she slipped it into her pocket mulling over where it would lead, she bumped into someone, almost losing her balance.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She glanced up and felt her heart drop when she saw the enforcers patch.

“Stop right there. Show me your identification.” The enforcer’s voice was harsh.

Nyfah pulled out a fake ID and handed it over.

The two enforcers scanned it and one of them handed it back.

“Watch where you’re going. Don’t move.”

“Thank you” Nyfah took her ID and shoved it into her clothes.

She stood motionless, watching the enforcers as they discussed her retrieved data for any indication of suspicion. She noticed a group of tourists walking towards her; as they got close she stealthily swapped hats with one of them and flipped her jacket inside out. What had looked like a delivery uniform on one side became a dusty brown cape reaching almost to her knees, with a large hood. She slid the hood over her head and joined with the tourists, matching their pace and behaviour. She heard the enforcers start to shout to each other and the people around them. They were attempting to stop people in clothing similar to her delivery uniform — luckily they hadn’t seen where she had gone. As the group around her started to stop and turn around, her heart racing, Nyfah began speed walking, following her ARD back to her ship.

She broke out into a run as she turned a corner and got halfway to her ship when she came upon another group of enforcers. As she ran past she heard them say something about a suspicious delivery person. 

Good, she thought. Her disguise was holding. 

“You there!Slow down!” One of the enforcers yelled after her.

Nyfah slipped her hand over the handle of a baton she had hidden in her cloak.

“Yes sir!” She shouted back, and shifted back to a fast walking pace.

She glanced back to see they had returned to their conversation.

She managed to get back to the elevator without getting in any more trouble and breathed a sigh of relief as the doors closed and the lift began ascending.

——-

Nyfah felt the dread creep back up her spine as she stepped out of the elevator. An enforcer was inspecting her ship as another stood guard. They must have matched her uniform and description with the security feed to find her ship. She had to find a way to sneak on board.

Calmly walking past her ship, Nyfah set her sights on another craft in the same bay. It was small, barely held together by assembled bits of scrap, and after easily circumventing the door lock she crept quietly inside. She furrowed her brow in disappointment upon finding that the interface was extremely simple and limited; it would not be able to read the chip from Halsir. It was what she had expected from the dilapidated exterior of the ship, but it could still be useful. 

She connected a remote control device to the interface and exited the ship, ensuring to re-secure the door lock. She once again walked past her ship, this time heading back to the elevator, but ducked behind a wall before reaching it. Using her ARD Nyfah powered up the engines of the run-down ship. Once she heard the sound of the door being rammed by the enforcers she made a break for her ship. Once onboard she plopped into her captain's chair and fired her engines at full burn. 

She increased the thrusters and felt the ship lurch and pitch as it tried to get airborne, then it began pulling away from the landing bay. 

“LHY-825 you are not cleared for takeoff! I repeat you are not cleared for takeoff! Land your ship immediately!” The ship’s speakers crackled as though they were trying to properly relay the anger she could hear in the orders.

She smirked and cut communication, there was no way she was following that command.

Narrowly dodging the carefully organized chaos of incoming and outgoing vessels, Nyfah heard Portunus’ emergency response siren start and saw enforcer cruisers closing in on her. Far ahead she saw the Planetary Defense Shields starting to close. Seeing the other ships trying to get out of the way, Nyfah slammed her thrusters to full. Her ship heaved violently and she felt an intense pressure pinning her into her seat. 

The pressure worsened as she careened toward the atmosphere, and as she approached the Defense shield she felt the pressure blossom into pain. It felt as though she may explode, fighting with all her might she lifted her arm to the thruster and pulled it back. As her ship slowed the pressure lightened, and what had been immense pain reduced to a dull ache. She had cleared the shield and was leaving the atmosphere, there was hope yet.

——-

Nyfah had managed to escape into open space, however several of the galactic enforcer cruisers pursuing had managed to get through as well. Luckily they were far behind her as they had not used her aggressive flying tactics. Now that she was free of the atmosphere she redeployed the thrusters to full. 

She took the opportunity to plug the treasure map chip into her ship, then linked up her ARD. A holo map popped up, showing her current location and that of the treasure. She studied the map closely. The ‘god relic’ was in the same galaxy, on a planet close to the centre. It was going to take a while to get there, even travelling through hyperspace. A flashing light accompanied by a steady beeping pulled Nyfah out of her thoughts; someone was trying to hail her on the open communication channel.

She pushed a button to receive the transmission and was greeted by a stern voice “-no authorization for take-off, stop your ship immediately for boarding.”

Nyfah weighed her options before deciding that her best course of action was to enter hyperspace. The galactic enforcers would not be able to follow her without coordinates, they could try to follow her trajectory, but they would have no idea of where she was going or why so none of their estimations would be helpful.

Nyfah smirked as she prepped and engaged the hyperdrive. Once she entered hyperspace, she decided to pull up any relevant information on her destination planet. It was nearly 25,000 light years away from Portunus, and had once been inhabited by a small population of the human species who had tried to prepare it for permanent habitation; however they had withdrawn for an unknown reason. It had been devoid of life ever since. She would not be able to breathe it’s atmosphere, so she made sure she had an exploration suit ready.

The planet was named QRNS-3858, but had been affectionately nicknamed Quirinus by the humans. It had mostly a rocky surface with some large areas of liquid water. It looked like she would be landing at one of the abandoned human colonies.

It had been a millennia since there had been reports of human contact, as they had taken to disguising themselves as other species when on their own and there were rumours that they had hidden civilizations across the universe, but did not like interacting with others. Either way it was unlikely she would run into one.

Nyfah settled in for the long journey ahead.

——-

As she came out of hyperspace she was alarmed to see everything around her ship slowly moving away from her. After a few moments it seemed to have stopped, but she realized that it was because her ship was now a part of whatever was happening. She was slowly being pulled into the direction of Quirinus. As she cautiously increased her speed, Nyfah felt her skin tingling with apprehension.

Suddenly she noticed a thin golden bloom in the distance that was rapidly expanding into a plume. Confused, Nyfah turned on all of her scanners. She felt her blood run cold as she realized that beyond Quirinus at the centre of the galaxy was a supermassive black hole. What had become a glittering cloud in the light of the nearby stars could only be a quasar, a large amount of space dust escaping the huge black hole.

It had now become a race; Nyfah had to get to Quirinus before what had quickly become a massive wave of space dust got to her. To make matters worse, the strange pull she had observed earlier was now seemingly trying to push her away. Gritting her teeth Nyfah diverted all of her power to her engines and maxed her throttle to get her to top speed.

Her ship began to rattle and shake as she approached the huge wave. She was only a few minutes away from reaching Quirinus’ atmosphere, but she wasn’t sure she was going to make it. The wave had spread so that she could no longer see the inky blackness of space. As the dust enveloped the planet, she began to doubt if landing would be any safer than being where she was now. Soon the dust began hitting her ship and, cursing, Nyfah quickly diverted some power to her shields. Silent warnings and flashing lights began popping up, and she knew her ship wouldn’t be able to last much more of the beating it was receiving. Her shields were failing when she made it to the atmosphere, but she had made it. She greatly reduced her speed as she approached the planet’s surface.

Nyfah pulled up the map again, and followed the location tag to colony 4. She landed her ship and pulled on her exploration suit. She began disembarking and grunting with effort,  heaved the exterior door open. Little bits of debris that had been trapped in the seams of the door clattered to the ground, bouncing off her helmet and shoulders as she stepped out. Checking the damage; she found all of the paint was stripped clean off, and there were gouges where larger rocks had cleaved into the ship. She shivered considering what would have happened if she had been in the storm a few minutes longer. There were scorch marks covering most of the surface, and the damage was especially bad around the area where she had removed the storage bay. She would probably be able to leave Quirinus without any major issues, but it was going to take some work.

She looked up to see the dust storm had created a fiery rain as everything entering the atmosphere burned up. Luckily most of it was completely incinerated before reaching the ground, but every now and then a palm sized rock would smack into the ground. Nyfah began her search wary of the celestial menacing.

——-

Several dwellings later, to her excitement, Nyfah came across a large locked box that matched the image on the holo-map. She broke the lock and pried open the box.

She felt adrenaline surge through her like electricity as she reached in and pulled out the relic. It was beautiful, intricate and delicate looking. She was surprised it had lasted this long. It appeared to be a small statuette depicting a red haired warrior holding a jewelled sword, resting in its sheath, at his right hip. His short hair, blue headscarf and tattered red lined cape billowed in an invisible wind. Glittering blue armour rested on top of a blue and white tunic with gold adornments. He stood atop what looked like a golden coin in red and brown boots, blue knee armour adorning wide, flared white boot coverings. A small clear cube encased the relic attached to a stiff paper backing with an enlarged picture of the little god on a background of green.

In the top right was an intricate symbol, one of the characters matching the symbol on the coin the god was standing on except it was on fire. The bottom right hand corner had a friendly looking symbol with three brightly coloured squares on each side. In a darker green than the background beneath the picture of the warrior there were three large characters, most likely depicting his name, R O Y.

Nyfah wasn’t sure what it said, but she would be able to cross reference it with the writings Halsir had mentioned. She made her way back to her ship in a state of bliss, she had found the treasure.

——-

Who: An alien being pursued by the government What: looking for a Roy amiibo waiting to be opened When: in an impending tsunami zone/area Where: in the first inhabitable planet outside this solar system Why: for the fame and glory

[monsterdoodles]

Thoughts on Steven Universe Future 3/6/2020

Spoilers Ahead

In dreams: Much different than what I predicted. Not about nightmares, but lucid dreams instead. This episode continues the exploration of Steven’s need to be needed. This is not the first time Steven has sacrificed the comfort of his own dreams and sleep for someone else. Back in Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service he helped Kiki with her nightmares.

The episode opens with Steven’s first dream. He is going to a party at his own home and the gems, the off-colors, Lars, Onion, and Connie are all there. He is ready to join. He’s earned it from saving the galaxy. Steven believes that things like friendship and time to have fun as something he must earn. But Cookie Cat, as the head of Obsidian, tells him that he isn’t needed anymore. The house rejects him. This is apparently not the first time he’s had dreams like this. When Peridot arrives, this gives him a use. He has cable, a vcr, and a vhs tape (again Steven is using outdated technology, another indicator of him holding onto the past). I imagine that Peridot has a way to watch the show without Steven, but because she is his friend and likes watching Camp Pining Hearts with Steven, she will watch it with him.

They don’t like the new show. Steven’s previous dream is broadcasted over it (in-line with his powers exhibited in Maximum Capacity). This gives Peridot the idea for Steven to essentially make new episodes. Here he lets Peridot direct his dreams. He is willing to let his privacy be invaded just to keep her around.

I’m not sure what to make of the dreams in the context of them relating to the show. Peridot wants romantic conflict, drama and character agency. Steven doesn’t have much input on the plot other than adding his foil character “Stephan” that he describes as “hunky life-guard friend with nice muscles and everyone always wants to hang out with him”. It’s very in-line with Steven’s character that he would want to be a life-guard. Someone who saves and heals people. That’s basically what Steven is already in many ways. Perhaps Steven doesn’t realize that he is just as beloved as his oc.

Steven can’t complete an entire episode. His thoughts about the diamonds and the events of the movie get in the way. These are things he needs to talk about with someone, but he has pushed it to the back of his mind.

Peridot is apparently a story-board artist now. In her words “I’m good at everything”. She plans for “Stephan” to kiss Jasmine to make Rodrigo jealous for dramatic purposes. Steven finds the idea unsettling, since he basically is “Stephan”. He relents when it seems that Peridot might leave. When he tries to go through with it, he can’t do it. The idea of kissing someone who isn’t Connie seems to bombard him with guilt, and they aren’t even an item. (At least that’s what I gather from the next episode, they refer to each other as “friends”, and not anything else.) Connie turning into Obsidian and stomping Steven “breaks” the dream. It’s still a dream however. He approaches “Peridot” to tell her that this needs to stop. He turns “her” around, and “her” visor is the universal image indicator of “no signal”. He is feeling disconnected from Peridot. The dream-Peridot approaches the house party from the beginning of the episode. This is the happy-place that everyone but Steven seems to be in right now. While everyone is in a much better place than they were at the beginning of the series, Steven probably thinks he’s the only one struggling. If Peridot joins this place, that leaves Steven alone outside. The whole house is the “no signal” image. He is on a different wave-length than his friends and family. Steven says that he doesn’t know how to be a friend without something to fix. This has been his whole life. He joined the gems because he exhibited powers and was there to help with corrupted gems. Before he became more competent with his powers he was often left alone to his own devices. The most time that gems spent with him was during the Cluster arc at the Barn. This is also where he spent the majority of his time with Peridot. He feels that he has to pull the weight in this friendship and that Peridot has to get something out of it for her to stay.

When Steven wakes up, Peridot is apologetic. Earlier in the episode she did realize that making these dreams was bothering Steven in some way, but she continued anyway. Since Steven was finally honest her, she understands. They don’t need an excuse to hang out together.

Bismuth Casual: I was very wrong on my prediction for this one as well, I thought this would be about a day-in-the-life of Little Homeworld or something else to that affect.

Steven, Connie, Bismuth and Pearl are on their way to go roller-skating. Pearl in under the pretense that Bismuth is here to meet and interact with humans while Bismuth is here to spend time with Pearl.

Pearl, I assume over the past two years or so, has amassed many human friends. She exchanges numbers with them, but it seems that she still thinks this is just a strange ritual rather than a way of communication despite the fact that she has a phone and teaches classes about communicating with phones.

Steven feels highly ostracized. He can only seem to bring up gem stuff in conversation with Connie’s friends. He doesn’t know how to skate or even what grade he’s supposed to be in. He’s no longer that confident and comfortable with himself. Him not knowing a lot about human culture isn’t new. He’s been this way for a long time, but he only seems to notice when he’s around other humans. When Connie’s friends arrive, he feels like he’s a third (or in this case fourth) wheel. To him it seems being less human should make him a less valued friend.

Bismuth has known Pearl for thousands of years, but this Pearl who sings car repair commercials and skates with humans is quite new to her. “I don’t want to take her away from what she’s got”. This is why Bismuth is there with the pretense of meeting new humans. She wants to catch up, but doesn’t want to encroach on what Pearl enjoys. Steven is much the same. But Connie actively reaches out to Steven. That’s what this night is about to her. As Bismuth points out, Steven has always been a Crystal Gem, always been weird and that’s never gotten in the way of their friendship.

So Steven takes a literal leap (and eats it), to tell Connie that he wants to reconnect (and learn how to skate). They form Stevonnie (who wears a very large shoe size know) and tear up the dance floor. They are still in sync. They are still friends and they can be connected.

To reconnect Bismuth and Pearl, Steven and Connie request for the car commercial song to be played. To Pearl’s surprise, Bismuth knows the song now. Everybody skates together.

 What a nice pair of episodes. Both with a focus on Steven feeling inadequate and/or left behind in his relationships. It’s not a surprising revelation that Bismuth appears to have some romantic inclinations towards Pearl. Both episodes end on a high note (emotionally) for everyone.

Next Week

My predictions are going to be heavily based on leaks, so look away if you haven’t seen them.

Together Forever: Connie has a very clear vision of her future and Steven wants to make sure he's a part of it. With this new description I am more confident than ever that this is the proposal episode. If that little clip that aired at the end of Bismuth Casual is part of this episode, then I think Steven is going to ask Garnet what it’s like to be fused all the time and how to go about asking Connie. From the small clip, Garnet is comfortable infusing. (Which she appears to be in a scout master’s uniform for some reason. Some kind of Little Homeschool sanctioned camping trip with fusion components maybe??) Not sure if Garnet will be savvy enough about human relationships to give Steven any solid advice. Like from the leak, Connie would like to be her own person. Garnet’s components enjoy being Garnet for the vast majority of the time, would she be able to understand Connie’s perspective on this?

Growing Pains: Steven sees a doctor for the first time. So I was correct in my prediction that the hospital scenes from the promo were indeed real and not part of a dream. In my earlier predictions I said that Steven would go to the doctor because he was stuck in pink mode, but with this plot thread of human things, I think that Steven is going to have some mundane medical issue that he can’t fix with healing spit. Perhaps something like appendicitis, since he holds his side in pain in the promo.  

If you all have any thoughts about the new episodes or episode predictions, let me know!

[wordsysayswords]

Someone needs to put down a wet floor sign because Tucker’s pretty sure his heart has melted into a puddle around his shoes.

Or, Tucker gets to see Wash interact with children, including Junior, for the first time ever and, to quote Grif, he's so fucked.

--

Merry Christmas @washingtubb!  I hope you enjoyed this fluffy Blue Team bonding with just a pinch of Tuckington thrown in for good measure. Thanks for being so patient with this fic getting posted. @redvsbluesecretsanta

--

“Have you guys seen Junior?” Tucker asks, poking his head into the common room.

Carolina, who is sat perfectly still on the couch and in the process of having her long hair braided by three children, glances Tucker’s way without turning her head.

“He was with Caboose’s group earlier,” she says, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. “In the mess hall.”

“Yeah, apparently they got told to leave because Grif tried to organize the kids into storming the kitchen. The things that guy will do for chocolate pudding.”

“BLARG!” Cries one of the twin Sangheili infants in Carolina’s lap. She rubs the alien’s back soothingly and raises an eyebrow at Tucker in a silent question.

“She’s ready for a nap,” Tucker translates.

There haven’t been a whole lot of opportunities for Tucker to exercise his Sangheili conversation skills on Chorus. That all changed two days ago when a ship full of Sangheili and human refugees landed, fleeing their own war-ravaged planet halfway across the galaxy. They had received Epsilon’s message and come seeking help because the reported conditions on their planet made Chorus seem like an idyllic paradise. Among the refugees were an almost comical number of children, outnumbering the adults six to one. The situation became a lot less funny when you realized 80 percent of the children were orphans.

“Here,” Tucker says, pulling out his datapad and selecting a playlist of classic Sangheili nursery rhymes. “They’ll recognize these. Puts ‘em right to sleep. You’ll have the songs stuck in your head for days, though.”

“Thanks for the warning.” Carolina gives a crooked smile as she accepts the datapad. “Can’t be worse than the crap Wash listens to.”

“Speaking of Wash, any idea where he’s hiding?”

Carolina cocks her head—as much as she can considering one of the aliens curled up against her shoulder is batting at her braid like a particularly curious cat. The kids finish up on her hair, and a little boy passes Carolina a pink hand mirror. Tucker bites his lip to keep from laughing as the Freelancer turns her head this way and that, inspecting the no less than eight messy braids sticking off her head at ridiculous angles.

“Looks great,” Carolina whispers, causing the kids to giggle and blush.

She turns her attention back to Tucker. “What makes you think Wash is hiding?”

“I don’t know, have you seen what it’s like out there?” Tucker asks, gesturing towards a window overlooking the track where groups of kids are playing frisbee or jumping rope, supervised by the lieutenants. “I’m having trouble keeping up, and I’m a dad!”

“Eh,” Carolina shrugs, “you’d be surprised.” She looks around at the cluster of children, “Do you remember our deal?”

The kids nod excitedly.

“If we take a nap, you’ll show us how to punch good!” A girl with wilting daisies woven into her hair punches the air, beaming.

Carolina raises an eyebrow. “And the rule?”

“Only in s-self, um,” lisps the boy missing his two front teeth, “s-self defenssse!”

“That’s right,” Carolina says, tapping the datapad. Plucky music starts to play as the kids curl up on the couch. She looks over at Tucker.

“Try the barracks,” she tells him. “They might have gone to get Caboose’s crayons and coloring books.”

“Thanks,” Tucker says, tossing a salute her way as he backs out the door. “Let me know if you need another teacher for punching class.”

“Sure thing. Watch out for—”

“HONK BLARG!”

A dark shape shoots out from under the couch and latches on to Tucker’s leg before he has time to blink.

“Holy fu—” Tucker catches himself. “Fudgsicles. Holy fudgsicles. Definitely what I was going to say. Right, little buddy?”

The small Sangheili wrapped around his leg hoots happily and starts gnawing on his boot laces.

“I think she’s teething,” Carolina explains. “Her brother is with Caboose’s group. Mind taking her with you?”

“No problem,” Tucker says, lifting his foot to get a better look at the alien. “And what’s your name, champ?”

“Firo 'Srattin,” yawns the little girl draped over Carolina’s shoulder.

“Strattin,” muses Tucker. “Good, strong clan name. Well, come on, Firo. Let’s go find your brother.”

“Say goodbye to Captain Tucker,” Carolina tells the children. A chorus of honks and goodbyes follows the teal soldier out of the room.

In the hall, Tucker looks down at his passenger. She’s given up on his laces and is now digging through his cargo pants pocket looking for snacks.

“All right,” Tucker says. “Which way should we try first, hm?”

Firo sniffs the air for a moment before pointing down the hall. “BLARG!”

“The barracks? Good choice. Let’s roll out, soldier.”

It ends up being a long walk to the barracks—and not just because Tucker has a honking deadweight wrapped around one leg.

Passing the empty lot behind the mess hall, he and Firo walk past the Reds organizing a game of football for the kids, and the pair promptly get roped into playing referees. They leave at halftime while Donut’s group of kids performs an impromptu cheerleading routine (The man’s created surprisingly passable pompoms out of old caution tape).

Despite the rest of the base swarming with children, the barracks are oddly quiet.

“I could’ve sworn they’d be here,” Tucker tells Firo after checking Caboose’s room and finding it empty.

“BLARG,” she agrees around a mouthful of a granola bar—wrapper included.

“I mean, I guess we could check bomb disposal range. Maybe they’re playing fetch with Freckles?”

“BLARG?”

“No, fetch with Freckles basically involves vaporizing tennis balls straight out of the sky. So, there’s no real ‘fetching’ happening.”

“BLARG CHONK.”

“I know, right? That’s what I said!”

“CHONKA CHONKA.”

“Watch the language!” Tucker chides. “I don’t want the parents thinking I taught you that.”

Just then, Firo perks up, her large grey snout sniffing the air intently.

Tucker stops walking. “What is it? Did you get their scent aga—whoa, hold up!”

In the blink of an eye, Firo lets go of Tucker’s leg and tears off down the hall.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Tucker calls, sprinting after her. “Firo 'Srattin, get back here! If you had a middle name, you bet I’d be using it right now!”

Firo only stops long enough to stick her tongue out at the sim trooper before racing away down another corridor.

“Why you little,” Tucker mutters to himself and looks up at the ceiling. “Mom, if this is what I was like as a kid, I am so sorry. Firo!”

Tucker skids around a corner just in time to see Firo squeeze through an ajar door and disappear inside.

“Oh fuck,” Tucker groans, picking up speed. He hisses. “Firo! Get out here! That’s somebody’s room, and they don’t want to wake up to an alien chewing on their socks!”

The maze of two-person bunk rooms all looks the same to Tucker, so he’s halfway up the hall before he realizes the alien just escaped into his room. His and Wash’s room.

“Damn it,” Tucker mumbles, screeching to a halt outside the door, a hesitant hand on the handle.

Okay, okay. No need to panic. Maybe Firo hasn’t turned any of Wash’s meager possessions into chew toys yet. The Freelancer isn’t one for trinkets or homely touches. If it wasn’t for Tucker, the man would still be living out of his footlocker rather than the closet and chest of drawers available to him. But that means any nonessential items Wash does keep around are all the more meaningful. Like Caboose’s messy drawings or the ugly-ass cat figurine that Tucker carved him out of a bar of soap (“No, no, Tucker, I appreciate the gift. It’s a cute giraffe.” “It’s supposed to be a cat!” “Uh, cat. Right. That’s what I said.”)

“Alright, whose turn is it to turn the page?”

Tucker freezes. Fucking of course Wash is hiding out in the desolate barracks while the base is swarming with children. Tucker’s never seen him interact with someone younger than the lieutenants outside of a military setting. You don’t exactly see a whole lot of kindergarteners toddling around an active military base (Caboose doesn’t count). Long story short, Tucker has been putting off even introducing him to Junior because everything about Wash; his anxiety, his control-freak nature, his stickler-for-the-rules attitude; screams that he and children do not mix.

So who the hell is Wash talking to?

“BLARG!” A high-pitched Sangheili voice shouts.

Tucker’s brow furrows. He’s just about to push the door open when someone else speaks up.

“It’s Ure’s turn,” a young voice translates.

“Alright, Ure, you can do the honors,” Wash says. “Careful this time.”

Tucker hears the sound of a page being turned.

“Great, where were we? Right,” Wash clears his throat. “The BR55HB Service Rifle entered service in 2548 and is employed as a medium-to-long-range marksman rifle.”

The fuck?

“Though its barrel is longer than that of the BR55, the weapon performs almost identically to its predecessor,” Wash continues. “The magazine housing is built directly into the underside of the stock of the rifle and is located behind the grip. And look, here’s a picture.”

That’s it; Tucker can’t stop himself from sneaking a peek around the door.

Wash is sat on the floor, leaning back against his cot. And around him are no less than twelve children and young Sangheili, cuddled up against him, hanging off his arms, sprawled across his lap, and peering over his shoulders at the yellowed paper gun manual in his hands. After turning the book for everyone to see the battle rifle diagram, Wash goes back to reading,

“Though the BR55HB SR is a select-fire weapon, it is most often used in its three-round burst mode.”

“This is my favorite part,” whispers Caboose to the three kids comfortably sharing his lap.

“Despite firing a very powerful cartridge, the weapon is subject to little recoil, even when being fired automatically.”

Curled up in the arms of one of the Sangheili is Firo, happily sucking on her brother’s shirt as she listens to Wash read with rapt attention, along with the rest of the children. Huddled up among them sits Junior, head resting in his hands as he drowsily listens with a content smile on his face.

Someone needs to put down a wet floor sign because Tucker’s pretty sure his heart has melted into a puddle around his shoes.

“Whose turn is it to turn the page now?” Wash asks, and a tiny boy pulls his thumb out of his mouth just long enough to raise his hand.

Wash smiles, and it’s so warm and natural Tucker momentarily forgets how to breathe. “Want some help?”

Thumb back in his mouth, the boy nods, and the Freelancer helps him turn the page with his free, chubby little hand.

“Great job. Now, it fires M634 X-HP-SAP round from a 36-round magazine, which fits flush in the receiver...”

Suddenly, Grif is there next to Tucker, whispering. “You’re so fucked, dude.”

Tucker startles so hard he stumbles face-first into the door. He turns to glare at Grif who disappears into his own room next door with a little wave. Tucker turns back around to find he’s accidentally pushed the door open and the entire room staring at him.

“I, uh, just...Firo!” Tucker recovers quickly. “There you are! I’ve been, ah, looking everywhere for you. Yeah.” Hell yeah. Fucking smooth. Definitely doesn’t sound like you’ve been creeping outside the door.

Wash has gone bright red. “I, uh. There aren’t any, er, kids books on base,” he stammers and starts to stand up. “They kept asking to read this one cause it has pictures. It’s stupid, I kno—”

“What happens next?”

“I—” Wash stops. His brow furrows. “What happens what?”

“What happens next?” Tucker asks again, coming to sit cross-legged on the floor beside Junior. “Dude, you can’t leave us in suspense. I gotta know who lives happily ever after, right guys?” He winks at the kids who giggle. Junior slings a massive arm around his father’s shoulders and pulls him close.

Wash just sits there, ears and cheeks still tinged with red. “You’re sure?” he asks, narrowing his eyes in the way he does when he’s trying to figure out if Tucker’s fucking with him or not.

Tucker settled in, leaning back against his son. “Just read the story, dude,” he says, grinning.

Wash flips the manual open, laughing under his breath. “Okay then,” he concedes. “Section 1.4 Service History. The introduction of the BR55HB SR led to an immediate increase in the BR55's popularity, prompting all branches of the UNSC Armed Forces, except the Army, to replace the M392 with the newer weapon...”

[theveryworstthing]

hello everyone, here are some very rough sketches of hare Messenger/caravan friends. i wanna draw more of these because i’ve finally settled on a general design and now i’m ready to get wacky with them.

but first.

it is time for lore.

this isn’t everything i want to say about hares and caravans and their relationship with rabbits and the above ground world but i figure it’s a start. so welcome to Hare Caravans: a short history intertwined with landscaping and postal work.

The beginnings of a journey: staying above ground where all the things that want to kill you are is good actually.

The first hare leveret was born at about the same time as the first rabbit kit. Some say that the two litters were only a nest apart, or that they were even reared together. No one is quite sure of the exact times and distances though because the only people there were the Mothers, who are all gone now, and a few couple minute old gods, who while gods, were just dumb babies who had no idea that any of this would ever matter in the future.

The main thing of importance is that in the beginning there were rabbits and hares in the same general area dealing with the same general existence bullshit and for some reason instead of wising up and going underground like the rabbits, the hares decided (in what had to be a blinding species-wide wave of spite and wanderlust because let’s be real they are EVEN TWITCHIER than rabbits) to stay above ground,learn to do sick stunts, and make the world Deal With Them.

Both rabbits and hares are naturally very quick on their feet but hares are faster and ridiculously acrobatic. They were able to live above ground on the island for so long because even though they still got got every now and then, they were able to juke their way to survival most of the time. But this made hares very solitary. They’re a little more resistant to fear death but it’s still a thing that happens and stress took less hares than you’d think but more hares than you’d hope. They didn’t have the guaranteed safety of the rabbits’ warrens to relax in and it’s hard to build a stable community when a group = a delicious easy target for predators. That’s where the Messengers came in.

The Messengers At first they were merely a small guild of traveling hares that worked as sort of builders/landscapers/proto-postalworkers. Everything about them was kept pretty hush hush and their founder, a tall albino hare who even then everyone suspected had been doing this job way before this job had a name, wasn’t much into discussing the business to those they didn’t deem prospective hires. This made them one of, if not the first, secret society on the island.

The Messengers would collect and deliver letters, small items, and general news from different parts of the island, packing their cargo on quick beetle steads and leading them through the night to distant territories. When they got to a new area they set up cryptic signs and elaborately camouflaged tents that served as pop-up meeting places for whoever was passing through. They were hardworking, crafty, sleep deprived, respectful of their clients’ privacy, and their slogan: ‘I might only be stopped by death and then I only might be’ has persisted as an empowering and slightly threatening mantra for the hares, rabbits, and now vultures who continue in their stead. Truly strong roots for modern island derived postal work.

The Outposts Now when I said those first Messenger-built tents were camouflaged I mean that they were functionally, borderline rage inducingly, invisible. Messengers would arrange entire false landscapes around their tents and the tents themselves were made of thick woven mats covered in layers of cultivated moss, fungus, and various bits of predator-offensive local vegetation for an optimal ‘this is totally a normal danger bush please piss off’ vibe. Some of their later outposts(where modern ‘postal’ work gets its name)included hidden doorways on seemingly regular boulders, clusters of reeds hiding entrances to submerged airtight rooms, and that one open grove near the Center that looked like nothing until you inevitably walked smack into an expertly painted wall like a dang cartoon character. That was the Head Messenger’s favorite outpost (and the most entertaining to watch from afar).

Most of these places got wrecked by time but some people say that the grove outpost still exists, much to the irritation of local postal workers. This is just an urban legend. Their official stance is that the place was destroyed in a storm shortly after the hares all left the island, and a search of the grove certainly supports their exasperated claims that nothing is there anymore. But there are also no ruins of any sort in the grove and to this day the rare rabbit or vulture will come back from their travels with stories about face planting into air and discovering a weird old building that contained nothing but a single black envelope. Again, the island postal service says these are all just urban legends and nothing more.

But also, maybe just keep away from the area and if you see any black envelopes please contact your nearest postal worker asap.

The Signs Since the outposts were so hidden, if you weren’t lucky enough to stumble into one or you didn’t notice the appearance of a New Bush, then you had to look for the signs. A stack of flat stones or a single hare antler tipped with black were signals that a Messenger was visiting. These items would always be at the base of a tree or some other large immovable object where the Messenger would use paint made with Medic’s Eye fungi spores to draw directional symbols that would light up momentarily when the surface was tapped. Before they left the Messenger would always recollect and scrub away their sign materials. Just leaving up signs was irresponsible, as future Messengers might set up in a different spot and conflicting signs would be confusing. Also, bandits might use abandoned signs to lure victims into ambushes. Very few bandits ever had the chance to do this since Messengers were diligent about erasing their signs and very few of them escaped the Messengers if they found out which hooligans had betrayed the people’s trust in mail, but still.

The birth of caravans and getting creative At the outposts, hares would collect their mail, talk amongst themselves, and generally spend leisure time with their brethren without the threat of danger. The outposts were (purposefully) hard to find, only stayed open for a day or two at most, and the messengers had a serious lack of chill due to their busy schedules, but people really loved them. As interest in these meeting spots grew trade increased, people grew closer(within reason, hares were still real solitary at that point), and eventually caravans were created to make setting up these pop-up marketplaces/communities easier.

Of course by this point the safest spots had small permanent outposts  with a rotating staff of guard hares (and a few adventurous rabbits). But hares were too twitchy to leave whole towns just…there. Out in the open. Permanently. A house can’t run. Or at least most houses can’t run. Who in their right mind would want long term shelter you can’t pick up and take with you? But a vehicle? Strap a streamlined wagon to a strong beetle, or better yet get a walking worm that can really sprint, and now you’re in business(some of the most beloved hare fables are about a witch who lived in a walking worm that ran around on pillyki legs). And so these hidden outposts became the center of constantly fluctuating camouflaged towns made of caravans.

The wagons and worms that inhabited these towns were really…a sight. Of course they were all the equivalent of speedwalking shrubbery, but the variation! The ingenuity! The application of literally whatever they found while rambling around! Closer looks revealed dead branch coverings held up by years of interlocking shed antlers and tied together with cast off scraps of green fabric that were coated with wax and artfully styled into very convincing leaves. Plants with woven roots for floors and branches for roofs were kept on shallow platforms of soil and molded into tiny but ever growing shacks. Walking worms resembling rotted logs filled fine garden lounges and stages and libraries and laundry rooms tiled with smooth bits of broken pottery. In a small tent that from the outside looks like three sticks and an unfortunate amount of wolf poop, a midwife helps deliver three healthy leverets. A wonderland made of pure natural beauty, art, and a little teeny tiny bit of collected travel garbage. Magnificent.

It really is too bad that most of the more fragile ones didn’t survive the trip to the mainland. Being successfully converted into boats was just not in the cards for them. Silver lining? They got to re-design them all over again with mainland materials. So even though true Island Vehicles are rare now they’re all just as funky.

The Connections Caravan communities really changed hare society. They had always had culture and stories and art, but it was hard to enjoy any of that with frickin’ wolves and owls on their heels 24/7. While families with younger children or disabled members traveled together, it was just so much safer to stay in small distant groups if you stayed in a group at all. This meant very little non trade or procreation mingling. The relative safety of the caravan towns gave birth to a wave of new art and culture exploration since people now had time, space, and input from so many new friends with similar interests in the same place. It’s amazing what you can do when you aren’t constantly running on survival mode and even though they had had access to friendly rabbit spaces before, it just wasn’t the same. Soon entire droves of hares started moving together in very loose communities. Wagons or worms never really right next to each other but all heading in the same direction on their own paths and coming back together at the end of their journeys. Close enough to run to a neighbor if need be but never clumped up. As these droves solidified, they each developed distinct new customs and skills, and the connections between members became as strong as any warren.

These connections are especially apparent in an old practice called Path Merging. Originally only done to seal peace treaties after the rare violent cross-caravan spat but now a common practice, if a single leveret is born (a rarity) they are paired with a single leveret of a similar age from a neighboring ally caravan and raised together. The pair travels back and forth all of their young lives, first with their mothers and then alone, living in their home caravans for different parts of the year. A few of these pairs stay together forever and some only part ways when they start their own families but ideally they at least make it to twenty years before calling for a separating ritual for the whole deal to be Solid. Similar to a diplomatic betrothal but based more on creating lifelong partners of any relationship type over setting up a marriage, this fostering of an intense bond from being the only true constants in each other’s lives is a show of good will and connection between their people. In a way they come to embody the essence of their community and as single litters are seen as a sign of pure hare independence and the old ways of their lost island home, these children are very powerful symbols.

It also means surefire preferential trading and aid from what are pretty much blood-contract bound allies.

These leverets are supposed to be raised like any other, but may receive a little special treatment in times of hardship to prove one caravans’ dependability to the other. A pair being returned in bad condition or with tales of abuse can start or further irritate conflicts. A falling out between the bonded pair can also be disastrous but it happens. You usually have no idea if babies will just super hate each other once they learn what hate is! Or what life in general will throw at you! If everything else is fine but they’re just not compatible people then after a while the caravan elders from both sides will come together and amicably agree to separate them. Although if one deeply wrongs or injures the other there can be some…dire consequences for the offending party that can splash back on their community depending on the situation. Hares almost always avoid war, but they’re real big on justice.

Despite this intense ritual, hares are still hares. They travel together now but they’re still kind of solitary creatures. Caravans are still pretty spaced out affairs, relying on radios and slime mold compasses to keep in touch when someone needs to wander away from the group for a bit. Outside of the usual life threatening issues, they’re not really worried about wandering the untamed mainland alone.

It’s not really a big deal when you have somewhere to come back to.