#neural rape

[herkingmentality-shesunbreakable]

Watch "Dr. John Hall - Satellite Surveillance (Project Camelot Radio) 1/11" on YouTube

[unlimitedbutchworks]

spaceboitoi called you "neurally degraded" as a dogwhistle for "retard," but she was right, because that's exactly what you are, a retard who stands beside white supremacist groomers and rape apologists.

go cry about me having principles instead of putting this meaningless buzzword spam in my inbox then? lmao, youre beneath me maggot

[gatheringbones]

[“The clinical term for going numb to certain parts of experience as a tactic of psychic self-preservation is dissociation. Not all forms of detachment from experience are dissociative, but they serve the same function: to avoid the discomfort of an experience we feel powerless to interrupt. The detachment that I have experienced from intimate physical acts that I have consented to but which I did not enjoy is not the same as that experienced by someone in a violent highway collision, or a rape victim, or even the deadening experienced by the worker who is submitted to decades of grueling and repetitive labor. But these are analogous. The writers of all these stories must perform a careful and often painful recovery of the memories of those exiled sensations. Just as the trauma survivor must do to the tell the story on which her recovery depends. For the trauma survivor, this storytelling must also happen corporeally. Trauma is described in many ways as an interrupted experience not only in the mind, but also, and perhaps even more profoundly, in the body and its systems. Healing depends upon what therapists who practice somatic experiencing call biological completion. Resmaa Menakem, in his groundbreaking book on healing racialized trauma, My Grandmother’s Hands, refers to it as “completing the action.” The survivor tells the story of their trauma in the body, often without speaking at all, slowly reconstructing the neural progression of the traumatic experience so that it can reach a conclusion. Shamanic practitioners sometimes call this process one of soul retrieval, and the term feels more accurate to me than any clinical language, which by definition excludes the spiritual nature of healing. The essential nature of self that we recover and transform by healing, by revising and completing the story of the past, is often more completely described by spiritual terms.”]

melissa febos, from body work: the radical power of personal narrative, 2022

[creature-wizard]

So is realizing you were sexually abused as a child as an adult always false memories? Because I’ve been deciding if I should try to find a therapist about this if I ever get insurance and it’s like: 1: I don’t remember a Big Event, but a bunch of smaller, weirder things (being forced to undress around relatives, being watched shower that kinda thing) that seem to gesture to ‘probably got molested’, 2: I can’t create a Narritive of it, I only have flashes and a vague idea of when it probably started, 3: I had a terrible head injury at age 11 that was left untreated bc my parents refused medical care (long story, not a religious thing) & i don’t actually remember a lot from before age 10, what I do is consistent with those flashes, but 4: when you look at csa warning signs my child self had All Of Them.

I know false memories are a thing, I understand the science there. But I really don’t have the mental fortitude to be called a liar by another mental health professional. Spent a lot of high school begging the school psych to send child services to my mom’s house at least for my siblings sake and got told I should just be a better daughter. My sister’s a therapist & is always joking about how her clients ‘make up rape stories.’

So like: in your research did you ever come across adults realizing they were sexually abused that seemed legit or is it all cults and scams? Because I do think the trauma or whatever is negatively impacting my life and a big chunk of my mental illnesses but also. If I made it up I don’t want to be branded a ‘liar about their lovely father’

I think you’re doing important work, and please don’t feel obligated to answer this.

Oh gosh no, I wouldn't say that it's always false memories. It's always possible to have memories that you can't quite access because the neural pathways to them have become weak, and have something kinda jostle them later. I've experience this kind of thing myself on occasion (the memories didn't involve abuse, btw). It's just that when you go trying to force memory recall (such as through hypnosis), it's very easy to start confabulating, and exposing yourself to conspiratorial content can give your mind stuff that can get mixed in with memories of very real abuse and ultimately muddle what actually happened.

IMO, you shouldn't necessarily need to create a Narrative around these? It should be fine to just write them down and bring them up with a therapist, and tell your therapist what you suspect. It probably wouldn't hurt to bring up your sister's behavior, either. No good therapist is going to accuse you of lying (and your sister really should have her therapy license revoked).

Editing to add/clarify that dissociative amnesia is also a real thing! So like, yeah, it's entirely possible for someone have memories of trauma that their brain can't fully access because they were dissociating.

[rivetgoth]

r/industrialmusic’s “essential albums” list (user nominated and voted)

Thought this was fun/interesting. Right now the sub is doing a “volume 2,” but it’s fun to see the results for what the sub considers essential listening.

Skinny Puppy — Too Dark Park (1990) (1st place!)

Throbbing Gristle — 20 Jazz Funk Greats (1979)

Einstürzende Neubauten — Halber Mensch (1985)

Coil — Horse Rotorvator (1986)

Ministry — The Land of Rape and Honey (1988)

Nine Inch Nails — The Downward Spiral (1994)

Front Line Assembly — Tactical Neural Implant (1992)

Front 242 — Front by Front (1988)

KMFDM — Nihil (1995)

And for what it’s worth, a few frequent “runner ups” I saw (that I imagine will be popping up in volume 2):

Cabaret Voltaire — Red Mecca (1981) (this was NECK AND NECK with KMFDM in the last round up to the very end)

My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult — Confessions of a Knife… (1990)

Godflesh — Streetcleaner (1989)

Scraping Foetus Off the Wheel — Nail (1985)

Nitzer Ebb — That Total Age (1987)

SPK — Leichenschrei (1982)

Obviously this list is far from remotely complete, but I thought the results were really cool. It’s fun to see what an industrial community came together to determine “essential” within the scene, and while it’s not a perfect list nor necessarily exactly what I’d have said myself I do think it’s a pretty successful list of albums I’d more or less call required listening if you’re getting into the genre. Neat!

[puddle-nerd]

Forever

Summary: Quaritch managed to capture more than just Spider and he has ways of making you talk.

Prompt 11 (Restraints) for my submission for LunasKinktober2023

So, in this one, we are going to switch between Na’vi and English. To differentiate between the two, I’ve decided to mark all Na’vi language in green italics and with a ~ at either end of whatever is being said. If I miss one or two, please let me know and I’ll edit it accordingly.

Na’vi Translation:

Tawtute – human | Sky Person

Tewng – loincloth

Tsaheylu – a bond or neural connection

Vonvä’ – butthole | asshole | dickhead (!HIGHLY ABUSIVE AND VULGAR!)

Vrrtep – demon

Story Tags: No use of y/n, Female Reader, Restraints, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-Consensual, Loss of Virginity, Dry Humping, P in V, Vaginal Sex, Forced Bonding, Forced Mating, Creampie

Part 2

You struggled against the thick, plastic restraints keeping your thin arms above your head within the cell, whimpering and whining and hissing as your struggled in vain to free yourself, all because you’d pissed off a couple of the Recombinants and so they had rewarded you with this added insult to injury of being captured in the first place. Biting at the orange plastic proved useless and made both your shoulders and your jaw ache something fierce. Giving out an infuriated scream, you slumped, eyes burning at the helplessness of your situation. In some other cell, Spider was being held because the Tawtute keeping them captive decided it was safer for them to be apart than together. That left you with struggling to escape your bindings and desperately wishing that you were back in the Halleluiah mountains at High Camp with your family and your tribe. Instead, you had had the bright idea to go along exploring with Lo’ak and Spider and Kiri and Tuk. You were here because a weapon’s blast had sent you and Spider rolling down a hill and into the hands of the RDA Recombinants. And instead of saving your from them, you had been left behind as collateral damage, as JakeSully would say.

The sliding doors across the cell slid open with a metallic whoosh and a tall blue vrrtep stepped inside, bedecked from head to toe in strange, alien, tawtute gear that seemed oddly dark and constricting. What was even weirder was the close-cropped back hair. And he was bigger, maybe even bigger than JakeSully was, and maybe even handsome in a certain light. But you’d never admit that. Not out loud, at least.

Instantly you hissed at him, ears pressed back and baring your teeth in a furious warning, tail lashing back and forth in your rage.

Instead of backing down, the Recombinant smirked widely, his golden gaze drifted over your form in such a way that made you shiver. There was something in his leer that set your teeth on edge, something intense and attentive and… and voraciously hungry. She felt… she felt like prey. And it caused you to shiver.

But you weren’t sure if it was caused by fear or not.

“Y’know,” the vrrtep said in English, stalking towards you, “with the kid you call Spider, I had a kind o’ family approach to actually get some information out o’ him. But with you… well, yer a Native, aren’cha? There ain’t no way you and I share an ounce of DNA, now, is there?”

You hissed at him again, adding in your Native language, “~We might not be related but come closer and I’ll kill you, vonvä’.~”

The Recombinant shook his head. “Now, unfortunately I didn’t understand a lick of that gibber jabber you’re spewin’ but I do distinctly remember you speakin’ in English, tellin’ Spider to ‘shut up’ so I gotta figure you know more English than you’re lettin’ on. And I got a couple of ways to loosen that tongue of yours. One’s gonna be more fun, though.” He took another step forward and paused, breathing in through his nose deeply and scenting her. A brow raised and he smirked even wider, adding on, “Well, I’ll be damned. You’re smellin’ so good, sweetheart.” One of his strange five fingered hand came down to cup his groin suggestively, obscenely squeezing the bulge beginning to press against the front of his tight trousers. You suddenly realized just how bad your predicament was, your eyes widening, jaw going slack. “Oh, yeah, sweetheart,” the vrrtep chuckled lasciviously, “yer scent and that outfit you’re wearin’ is gettin’ me nice and hard.”

“~Don’t touch me, vonvä’!~” you snarled at him, before switching to English. “No! Go away!”

“Ah, so you do speak English,” the Recombinant grinned. “Now we’re gettin’ somewhere.” His golden gaze traveled over her form, landing on your barely covered breasts and he reached for his belt. The second you saw him pull out a knife, you struggled even more, kicking at him and trying to whip him with your tail. Nothing you did stopped him from cutting the neck string of your chest covering or him pulling it away to reveal your naked upper body.

He tossed it away haphazardly, his golden eyes darkening as her body in. “Fuck you,” you snarled in English.

The vrrtep licked his sharp teeth, chuckling as he put his knife back, “Now that’s one of the ideas… but gotta warm you up to it first. I like my women warm… and wet when I sink m’self in ‘em. I’mma make you beg for it.”

Overwhelmed by the threat, you snarled at him only for it to melt into a high-pitched whimper as he grabbed at your thighs with his strange, too-many-fingered hands and lifted your legs to his waist, settling your weight onto his hips and the front of his crotch to snuggle into the apex of your thighs. You could feel the massive bulge tenting his trousers pressing tightly against your thinly covered cunt, guarded only by the two thin layers of your tewng. Then, he let go of one of your thighs and grabbed your jaw, twisting your head sharply to the side. You couldn’t fight the firm grip he had on your chin and had to submit to him leaning in and scenting your neck. Then he kissed her throat, running his mouth up and down the blue column, marking the soft blue skin between bites and harsh suckling, determined to leave at least a couple of hickies.

You whined, your body starting to warm, just like the Recombinant had threatened you with and you couldn’t seem to stop the whimpers from sliding out of your mouth, every breath catching in your throat as heat began to swoop low in your belly. You didn’t even realize you had shifted further into his hold until you felt your back arch, your pelvis grinding down onto the bulge in his trousers, the firm shaft of him creating delicious friction between her legs.

The vrrtep chuckled, gripping your leg tighter and pressing against you harder. “That’s it, sweetheart. You’re beginnin’ to want it, aren’cha?”

You refused to answer, squeezing your eyes shut.

The Recombinant released your jaw to grab your other hip and shifted you over his cock again, testing the friction he could create in the current position as he dry-humped you, grunting audibly and studying your face for the micro-expressions that gave away your reactions to the pleasure he was forcing you to feel. You couldn’t stop gasping and mewling with each shift of his hips against where a hot wetness was building up on the inside of your tewng, squirming weakly in his grasp while squeezing his sides with your thighs. He chuckled, gritting his teeth as pleasure pooled inside of you both.

“Yeah, baby, I got wha’chu need.” You whined.

And then your eyes snapped open as he lowered your legs from his waist. He laughed outright at seeing your blush staining your cheeks, at hearing you whine of protest, and stepped back enough to reach out to your tewng, this time, finding the ties on the sides and undoing them. “~No! Demon, no!~” You shouted in Na’vi, fear of what this would mean renewing within you. “~You’re not of The People! We cannot mate! No!~” But he was dropping your last bit of clothing away and reaching for his belt. You couldn’t help but watch helplessly as he swiftly unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers with haste, shoving them down his ass and thighs as if he couldn’t wait to bury himself inside of her. You let out a high-pitched whine as his cock jutted up as soon as it was free of its confinement, firm and full and ready to fuck you. You’d seen Na’vi cock before as your village wasn’t shy when it came to their bodies. However, since you were unmated, you’d never seen one in any state of arousal before.

And this vrrtep was apparently hung.

His cock was such a pretty shade of jewel blue, all patterned with azure stripes and dotted with a couple of bioluminescent white freckles. Veiny, little ridges and nubs decorated all along each stripe upon the thickening shaft. The foreskin, however, was a lighter blue and had started to pull back from the pink tip to reveal a delicate little trickle of pearlescent precum tinged silvery blue. “I can smell you, sweetheart,” the Recombinant spoke up as he stroked himself languidly with his large veiny hands, forcing you to tear your gaze away from the monster he was going to try to slide inside of you. “I can smell you want this, baby. And who am I to deny you? All you gotta do to ride me is beg me. Say, ‘Miles, I want you to fuck me’ nice and loud and clear.”

You shook your head and turned your gaze away but you couldn’t stop the slick from trickling out from between your thighs. “Not one of The People,” you whimpered. “Cannot mate. Cannot make tsaheylu.”

“Sah-hey-loo? What’s that?” he demanded. You shook your head, burying your face into your arm. “Alright then, I guess I’ll just have to figure it out after I fuck you.” You shouted and struggled but he shuffled forward, grabbing your thighs once again and positing himself at the apex, his cock nestling between your mound and his. “Fuck, sweetheart, you’re slick, aren’cha? You want this.” You shook your head. “Yeah, you do. Can’t lie when I can feel how wet you are. Just say it, baby. Say ‘Miles, I want you to fuck me’ and I’ll make you feel so good.”

“No,” you whined, shaking your head. Only to whimper as he lifted your hips up, dragging your cunt up the length of his cock, teasing you with his firm shaft but not yet putting it in. “No… cannot.”

“Say it, honey. Say ‘Miles, I want you to fuck me’.” The vrrtep thrust his bare cock against your pussy lips, growling in delight at the raw friction, his foreskin tugging with each roll of his hips, his leaking precum and your slick aiding in the movements. “Say it, baby, and this’ll feel even better.” You couldn’t stop the mewling escaping your throat through clenched his teeth with each grinding thrust between your pussy lips. “Say it!”

“Fuck,” you gasped, a tear leaking from your eye as you gave in. “Mylos… I want… I… fuck me…” Your accent garbled his name but it was just enough for him.

Miles lifted your hips to line your cunt up with the head of his uncircumcised penis and slowly pushed against your entrance. With an animalistic snarl, he flexed his hips and bullied his way inside of your depths, reveling in the cry that ripped from your throat as your untouched pussy stretched for the first penetrating thrust. The walls of your channel squeezed reflexively around the near painful stretch made by his forceful invasion of your body. His massive girth was difficult to adjust to, the stinging pinch causing you to whine in discomfort as he shoved himself deeper and deeper inside.

“Fuuuck, baby, so fuckin’ tight,” The Recombinant moaned, burying his face into your neck. “Try t’ relax a’li’le, sweetheart. Jus’ relax.”

He kissed at your neck, nuzzling and nipping at the bruises he had already left behind upon your skin as you tried to ease your muscles but it hurt. “~Oh, Eywa… it hurts,~ My-los,” you whimpered in your native tongue, hissing as the pain in your shoulders made itself known again.

“I know, baby, I know,” The vrrtep hummed, rubbing his nose over the silk of your cheek. “Doin’ so good f’me. I can feel you relaxin’. It’s gonna start feelin’ really good soon. Have you sobbin’ and beggin’ f’more.”

Miles’s mouth suddenly claimed your own in a demanding kiss, smothering your scream as he used your loosening muscles to shove the last bit of his cock home inside of your depths, his pelvis flush with yours. His more human-like testicle sack rested heavily against your taint in an odd, alien way, full to bursting with silvery blue bioluminescent cum, ready to be poured into your channel. His balls pulsed as he plundered your mouth, exploring every inch with his tongue and stroking your teeth with his tongue. He only withdrew from you when you both finally needed to part for air, a string of saliva connecting your swollen lips to his.

You didn’t want this.

You didn’t.

And yet… when the Recombinant slid out a little bit, only to roll his hips slowly back inside of you, the most delicious of friction skittered like an insect up your spine in the most satisfying of ways, causing you to cry out. Tears began to trickly out of your golden eyes. However, he either ignored the crystal liquid spilling down your cheeks or he was too busy increasing his pace to create a steady, rapid rhythm. You gasped as you felt the coil tightening inside you. His pace increased and the sound of his thrusts squelched wetly through the air. You could feel yourself beginning to clench down upon him as your pleasure continued to increase, the pressure building. You bit down on your bicep to try to force yourself to feel something else. Anything else.

This he noticed.

“Ah, don’t do that, sweetheart,” Miles snarled out through gritted teeth, shoving himself roughly and sloppily into you, now. He released one of your legs and grabbed your chin again, forcing his lips back onto yours, licking his tongue deep into your mouth. He hummed and then pulled back with a hiss. “Fuck, baby… Got me so close. Gonna cum in this pussy. Ready, baby? Ready for daddy’s cum?”

“No,” you whined, shaking your head. “No… please…”

You wanted to feel the pleasure.

You didn’t want it to be him.

You didn’t want it like this.

The vrrtep crashed into you like an earthquake, his breathing increasing as his rhythm faltered further, plunging wetly into your depths even more loudly, his balls smacking against your taint with each shove of his cock, pushing his cock inside of you deeper, deep until he pushed in firmly one last time, burying himself in to the hilt and –

“Ohhh, fuck, fuck, fuuuck, yeah baby!”

You squeezed your eyes shut as an indescribable feeling rushed through your veins and made you feel like you were free-falling from the back of your ikran, exhilarating and wild, as you felt him pouring his hot cum deep inside of you, wishing you could drown out the long, loud, lewd moan he released from his throat. His seed coated your fluttering walls as you screamed silently, surrendering reluctantly to the mindless abyss of bliss. He continued to fill her, his balls drawing up and contracting as his pleasure boiled over to rocket his seed in thick ropes deep into her depths until she was full to bursting from the amount of spunk he released. Miles groaned once more, his movements coming to a stop, sighing in contentment before he slowly eased his slick, flaccid cock out before it shrank back into its sheath, , smirking as he watched his silvery blue cum dribbling out of her in thick globs, pooling messily by her bare feet. “Hehe… I filled you up nice and good, baby, didn’t I?” the Recombinant chuckled. He stepped back, pulling up his trousers settling them about his waist without securing them so you could see the stain of your slick upon his pelvis when you glanced his way.

“Now… what’s sah-hey-loo, sweetheart?”

You shook your head, skimming your gaze over his neural queue as he regarded you carefully. Unfortunately, he saw your quick glance and raised a brow. He stepped back towards you and licked at his teeth before reaching over your shoulder and grabbing at your braid and bringing it over your shoulder.

“No! No! Cannot!” you cried out, trying to pull away from him only for your feet to slip in the puddle on the metal floor, sliding your naked body closer to him, instead. “Please!”

Miles smirked, grabbing his own braid and brought it between them, holding up the ends to reveal the pink tendrils on each end of the two queues. His golden eyes met your and brought the ends together, the tendrils reaching for each other. “This makes you mine, don’t it, sweetheart? That’s what sah-hey-loo is, ain’t it?” You hissed at him, trying to jerk back, only to whimper in pain as your neural queue burned sharply. He growled in satisfaction as the wisps slowly entwined, twisting around each other, becoming one and uniting the two of them as life mates.

Forever.

𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸 · ─────── · 𖥸

Originally Posted: 11 October 2023

Word Count: 2,797

AO3

@pandoraslxna, @eyweveng

[faberown]

These are the lyrics of the first song in the story, entitled "I'll bring my justice", sung by Adam. The music is a combination of the following songs:

-) Stayed Gone (Hazbin Hotel)

-) Where is the justice (Death Note: the musical)

-) Ready as I'll ever be (Tangled: the animated series)

-) Stayed Gone Lute and Lilith version (cover by MilkyyMelodies, Youtube)

-) Exorcists - Heaven's propaganda song (Neural Bard, Youtube)

Context: after the battle against Cain, Adam, now a man with nothing left to lose and obsessed with the desire for revenge towards Lucifer and Lilith, sees in the Extermination planned by the Heavenly Council an opportunity to make them suffer, and so decides to guide it and invite the angels of high rank to approve it, and he creates an army made by all the victims of the sinners in order to destroy them without remorse.

You can find the song at this chapter:

(ADAM)

Now is done,

you really thought I could just stay gone?

Well, not for long!

Lilith and Lucifer may have won

but now in this brand new dawn,

I'll come there and stop you filthy spawn!

I run the ship now so let me be clear,

you took Cain from me, I won't forgive,

your situation was never this severe!

I will tear your subjects down,

get you back in line,

broken all your hope,

so you will take it a sign

that there's nothing you can do,

you will never be divine,

I'll start this right now, you're out of time!

This place is supposed to be eternal praise,

so why should I let their fear increase?

Why should they spend their days,

hoping that never Roo awakes?

It's not fair, this is not what I want,

I'll create a new Heaven that respect my thought!

I'll bring my justice upon you all,

your cruelty will be your own downfall!

Do it: murder, kill, rape, steal! Be the worse!

I'll exterminate you all without remorse!

Your victims will celebrate with your blood,

and I, well, I'll make of it a flood!

What's the problem, after all?

Hell is forever, didn't you know?

What's the point to live in damnation,

isn't far better end up in Extermination?

My dear demons, watch your back!

And no, this isn't just a soundtrack!

It is the sound that announces the hunt,

so hurry up, hide, you cunt!

I'll reunite them all,

every victim will answer my call,

I'll guide them down there for you

and they will kill you screaming 'yahoo'!

Look, Lilith, while I destroy,

come on, laugh, don't be a killjoy!

Don't you love to see

all this despair run free?

What's the problem, it's because they are your toys?

You don't want to lose all these bad girls and boys?

Oh, poor woman, now are you crying?

I didn't even start trying!

I'll tear your entire army apart,

mine will be consider almost an art!

Lucifer, my friend, what's that face?

Your marriage is burning in a furnace?

Well, Lilith will give you the deadbet king award,

after all, you've always been a coward!

While you two will torture each other,

I'll continue, don't worry, I won't bother!

I'll enjoy every bit of your sadness,

it'll be a pleasure to see you two fall in madness!

I don't see why we should wait,

do you want the demons coming at our gate?

I personally cannot stop the desire

to stop those two assholes to build their empire!

This discussion is senseless and petty,

what stop us, those who fucked up already?

They lost their chance,

there is no reason to show reluctance!

Heaven is for winners,

Hell is for sinners,

the rules are clear like sunlight,

so why now you are continuing to fight?

There is no point to argue anymore,

you have my approvation furthermore,

and if the Father of Humanity is okay,

who still stand in your way?

(AZRAEL)

How dare you, Adam! No one has brought music to this hall since the fall of Lucifer! And how dare you fly up to the ceiling, as if you were superior to us all? Who do you think you are!?

(ADAM)

Who am I? I am the first man, bitch,

the one who will tear apart that witch!

I'll punish every sinner here or in the future,

until the universe we'll again be pure,

and I'll do so whether with your help or not!

Now those idiots are boiling in their pot,

and I should stay here looking from the spot,

waiting that Lilith find a new shot?

I won't let her do this,

neither her people, that's a guarantee,

I'll hunt them and bring my justice down!

She thinks she can use whoever as her pawn,

just because Lucifer is so weak,

but I won't let her try another jailbreak!

(MICHAEL)

Stop your words, Adam! Why are you so hateful?

Shouldn't you be more graceful?

Your descendants are down in Hell too,

there on the shell of Roo,

and yet you tell us that you don't care,

and let you become their nightmare?

If we think about it more, maybe we can find a way,

and we don't have to do as you say,

just leave Lucifer a little more time,

and he may avoid this crime...!

(ADAM)

Well, of a detail you have to be aware:

I really don't know and don't care!

Another way, is there or is there not?

I don't care a fuck, I just want them boil in their pot!

While you spend time talking,

down there the wretched are freely walking,

and they sin, they sin, they sin,

continuing to follow their cruel doctrin!

Believe me, I know,

this would mean sunk pretty low,

but you know what? That's fine!

It's not fault of mine,

some justice must be served,

and whatever I'll do they deserved!

(MICHAEL)

Who deserve to live is not written on a list with a divine pen,

the world is not black and white, there isn't such simple certain!

(ADAM)

Then perhaps it's time to drain the color out of its den

so we can see black and white, and wrong and right again!

(MICHAEL)

Overwrought pronouncements won't improve the paradigm...

(ADAM)

... only if we let our kindness become a crime!

What about the victims waiting for some justice?

Should we say them that there is no solution for all that malice?

What about their pain and their cry of desperation?

Should we welcome them here and say them that there is no actual compensation!?

Heaven is silent to all this evil,

and let every bad person on Earth be a lucky devil!

The powerful and the bullies dictate the rules,

they prepare wars, massacres and cruelty like they were job schedules,

and when everything they do goes wrong,

they remain unaccountable strong,

while the innocents are hit by the waves

and they are turned into sex toys, prisoner and slaves!

The noble and riches get away with murder and rape,

and they don't even feel ashamed and hid under a cape!

The poor people live like chicken in a humble hen,

waiting for their master to come and steal their precious children!

Kings and priests shout words of honor,

but pain and suffering is all what they are donor!

Every time a rich-dressed mouth starts to talk,

on Earth evil begins to walk!

How can we just say that this is just how it is?

Where is the justice in all of this?

I am now sick to death of all this stuff

and I have no qualms about saying ENOUGH!

(ZADKIEL)

Rulers and senators make their speeches all day long,

while judges pushing pencils mostly get it wrong!

(BARACHIEL)

Those people will never be punished in their world,

protected by their blood, status, creed and sinful gold!

(URIEL AND RAPHAEL)

Instead of loopholes for the laws to fall between,

why not let some good old fashioned payback grease the wheels of the machine?"

(ADAM)

Now Heaven has expressed itself,

so why should I stop myself?

I have no actual reason

to avoid going down into that dark prison!

No demon brings me fear,

no shade I'll let draw near,

this sacred axe of mine I'll wield,

and the gates of Heaven I'll shield!

In the Hell's landscape, where sinners wait,

and darkness marks the day,

with holy weapons drawn,

at the break of dawn

I'll purify the cursed way

putting all the evil at bay!

In the fight for souls astray,

I will lead the way!

At the edges of night, where demons incite,

with faith's bright light, and spirits white,

I'll guard that gate so pure

and make Heaven's victory sure!

Now it's time to decide,

should we do or not this genocide?

Well, the answer is easy to see:

we can't let them roam free!

And so I'll stand up and fight

because I know that I'm right,

and I said my opinion already:

I'M READY!

(AZRAEL)

Go, then. Choose your army, and then lead the troops against Hell!

(ADAM)

Now you all are in front of me,

are you ready as you'll ever be?

Because I am, more than ever,

ready to remember demons that Hell is forever!

It's time for them to face justice,

and we won't have to be nice,

let's cook them worse than a fucking fry,

let's turn the ground more red that their bloody sky!

They make you all suffer,

but now you are bully and they are duffer!

Becoming the villain isn't the answer,

is this what said some hustler?

What a joke, they were surely a prankster,

revenge can only give you laughter!

The path we're on is a path paved in black

but I'm taking this road and I'm not looking back!

Yes, this is dark, but I see where it ends,

my enemies will fall as my power ascends!

Will they despise me? That's fine!

I'm just taking what's mine,

and what's mine is my justice,

my justice, my justice, my justice!

My dear Lilith and Lucifer, if I can't win

I'm gonna make you wish you died with him

for your every sin!

And even if when I'm done,

I'll barely recognize what I've become,

well I don't care a damn,

now just let me have my... FUN!

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

“That’s her choice.”  Tattletale repeated herself. “No!  That’s- that’s not her.  That’s the change I made doing the talking, or the aftermath of it.  Even if I removed all the neural connections that have been made since, there’s so much more in the emotional cocktails and hormonal balances.  She’s channeling it into anger instead of… instead of love.” Love.  The implications were so fucked up.  It was the sort of thing Heartbreaker did. She hugged her arms against her body.  There were tears in her eyes. “You need to fix her mind now.  For you, not for her.  Maybe she’ll forgive you at a later date, when she’s thinking clearly again,” Tattletale said.  “Maybe then she can approach you, you two can start interacting again, you rebuild that trust over months or years, and you can finish healing her body when she gives you her permission.” “Or I can fix her now, undo what I did and then walk away forever, because I don’t deserve forgiveness and she shouldn’t have to live like this because- because a wrong I committed fucked with her focus or made her too aggressive or-”

Tattletale isn't wrong here, not even close, and Amy absolutely should fix Vicky's mind now, but Amy's also not wrong that it's not quite that simple.

Amy has fallen into the trap her whole life has built for her, the idea that she's a monster, is only capable of being a monster and that's what she is and always will be, and she's now starting to commit to that path.

Now, even allowing for that, it shouldn't be hard for her to fix Vicky's mind and then keep healing her and then unparalyze her and just leave then. But Amy's mind is shot - as she said, she needs rest, I doubt the girl has had anything resembling good sleep either lately, and realistically she has ever right to fear she might get things wrong given how she got here in the first place.

The question continues to be not 'did she do wrong' (because she did, obviously, and will do worse), it continues to be 'what does what she did, and the mental state she was in, say about her more broadly'.

Very few people actually act like Amy did nothing wrong. Even before Wildbow 'revealed' his 'original meaning' of later scenes. People, acting on some of Wildbow's various errant words of god that he has long since decided to ignore, did sometimes believe Amy's moral culpability was more reduced than it (officially) is because of the Aura, or Broadcast or that more of this stuff was accidental or driven by Shaper messing with her mind, etc, but very few people actually said Amy did nothing wrong here unironically.

Almost all those "Woobie Amy" fics and notions that Wildbow supposedly saw that made him decide to be so damn spiteful in Ward have situations such that Amy doesn't do what she does here. The number of fics where Amy mind-controls Vicky, let alone actually wretches her or rapes her, that treat her sympathetically or like she's not some horrifying monster/villain/etc was almost certain and is almost certainly miniscule.

So it's hardly 'apologia' or 'whitewashing' her to write a story where she doesn't do this. I've hardly read every old Worm fic or Worm thread but I'm all but certain it was more just Wildbow fundamentally not understanding his own fandom, and certainly not understanding fanfiction. I already have proof from his own reddit posts he fundamentally doesn't understand fanfiction, so...

I just don't get people, and I sure as fuck don't get Wildbow or his Cult.

[cassiachloe]

Deepfake and AI video recreation is in the public mind a lot. This is a legitimate concern for the public on multiple levels, and one of the more important aspects is not focused upon – that is the way in which AI can be used to enforce Orwell’s dictum.

PRISM (as leaked by Snoden) has demonstrated partially a degree to which the existing state-capitalist institutions of control embed in to internet and other media platforms (primarily focusing on how your data is harvested). What is not considered is the multi-directional control of media platforms, not merely through algorithm manipulation, but by direct interference.

Something I have witnessed personally (as a tortured and trafficked slave it appears I am used as a guinea pig for a variety of novel tech and methods) is the live manipulation of videos already loaded on to Youtube by AI. Whilst I have witnessed targeted posts designed to influence me specifically based on my personal data (this includes using targeted ads or pages controlled by propaganda and mind control factions), I have now witnessed the modification of videos for mind control on YouTube and other platforms.

This does not only include the creation of New AI videos to specifically influence me or the public, BUT also the modification on past videos on the platform. Theoretically, this could be achieved in a targeted way to myself by direct end devices hacking on my laptop (which is achievable due to entrance in my home which I have documented), but also it may now be possible to modify past videos already uploaded to these platforms to entirely rewrite history.

The rewriting of history has never been easier; The mere modification of pixels on a screen can change the entire narrative. Entire sentences never spoken by an individual could be placed in to their mouths with AI. No longer would we have to hunt trough libraries and rip out pages not agreeable to the current regime, but worse. What does this mean? The real truth of the near past may exist only in the living memory of a few, but when they pass, this too will be gone.

Now, theoretically, AI falsification can also be detected with AI tools, and what we could see is a continued spiralling of development; AI becomes better at video falsification, then AI powered AI fake detection becomes more accurate, and this could go on and on (totally throwing the possibility of human detection way out the window). But, I question if there is enough of an incentive for power to (permit or) develop AI fake detection tools as they have the most to gain from AI fakes. Meaning a further power imbalance.

Moving away from public mind control, the manipulation of the past and the propaganda narrative, I would like to focus on an even more dangerous, disturbing and harmful use of the tool of video falsification: that is the tampering of security footage.

This becomes especially concerning when we recognise the edge state-capitalist institutions have to create less-detectable fakes, combined with the knowledge of institutional violence. A poignant example is the fact of sex traffick and rape infiltrating powers, including paedophilia and slavery (look to the Epstein case or Kincora boys). Rape, abuse and paedophilia is hugely profitable, and states have control over (and directly profit form) this cruel, degrading and inhuman black market.

My ultimate fear is that alongside other advancements in technology, such as neural interfaces, we could see entire schools rendered temporarily unconscious or amnesiac, to be mass raped for profit by ‘elites’. And then, due to the hacking capacities of the institutions and AI fake development, all security footage will be undermined, and it will appear as if such crimes did not occur.

And remember, many do not hold security footage for longer than 3 months, and presuming that the state-capitalist rapists have at least a 3 month technological edge, meaning their AI-fake will not be detectable by AI-powered AI-fake detection within that period, the footage will then be deleted.

Tom Keenan Photography

Taken at Hanna & Guy's Wedding

Cassia Chloe Fire Dancer, Pyro Show & Circus Performer

[janhooks]

i'm very curious about your interpretation of harvey's "final words" being the same as john's wedding vows in look at the princess

Well this scene is preceded by two relevant ones between John and Harvey, the first where Harvey tries to convince John to kill Scorpius:

JOHN: And what would you have me do? Whack him straight away?

HARVEY: Without hesitation.

So here he means those words pretty straightforwardly. “Kill him without hesitating.”

Then there’s the scene where John is talking to Aeryn in the cooling room and Harvey starts appearing to him as some unholy combination of Aeryn/Scorpius and starts explicitly comparing his relationship with John to John’s relationship with Aeryn:

HARVEY/AERYN/SCORPIUS: Why won’t you just let her go? She’s not yours.

[…]

HARVEY/AERYN SCORPIUS: But you’ll never be lonely. Whether I’m here—[taps John on the forehead a la Scorpy] Or here—[taps his/her own temple] or in a grave on Arnessk, or in a cell on Moya, you’ll never be rid of me.

So in Harvey’s last scene of the episode, when John’s decided to “execute” him, after he’s moved through the stages of bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance of his “death”, he says “Without hesitation,” once more before John shoots him. Here he combines the senses of the two preceding scenes. When he says “without hesitation” he means “if you’re going to do it, do it decisively” and he is also evoking his wedding vows from Look at the Princess to remind John that their relationship is and always will be the most intimate and important relationship in his (John’s) life and that this bond can never be truly broken.

And I mean really it’s just another example of the sexual undertones of John and Scorpius’s relationship that have always been there because hello, he’s an alien dressed in a gimp suit, and the idea that manhood counts for nothing in space and a man is just as vulnerable to rape when it comes to interspecies encounters is kind of the classic male sci-fi fear (see Alien, 1979)… (see the flashforwards in Back and Back and Back to the Future)… (see John’s subconscious anxieties made manifest at the end of Won’t Get Fooled Again)… (see penetration imagery with John’s repeated flashbacks to being injected with the neural chip during season 2, which is then repeated in this episode with Scorpius’s jarring and brutal “removal” of Harvey here). And after 3 seasons of metaphorical rape it’s suddenly become brutally literal with Grayza two episodes earlier (and mind you John is NOT convinced that Scorpius had no hand in it) AND THEN Aeryn comes back which should represent a return to safe harbor BUT she brings Scorpius with her AND she makes John promise not to harm him AND she’s dressed just like him AND THEN Harvey who has seemed to be effectively neutered since the beginning of season 3 takes control and starts appearing to him as an unholy combination of Aeryn/Scorpius, telling him he should let them both die and accept him as a substitute… Safety and danger, love and hate, tenderness and violence, hope and despair, the sacred and the profane have gotten intolerably mixed up. He’s impotent to do anything about Scorpius, the only way he can take back any sense of control is to kill the bastard lovechild. So perversely to his only way to regain a semblance (really nothing more than a semblance) of control is to hand himself over vulnerable and unarmed to Scorpius so that he can inject… something into him and trust that the man who turned his life into a horror is telling the truth when he says it’ll get rid of Harvey…

So anyway Harvey’s line is just another one of life’s little perversions in the Uncharted Territories, where dreams become nightmares, sex becomes rape, your lover looks like the man who split your mind apart, vulgarity is exalted, the lofty is debased, and the bond between host and parasite is as sacrosanct as the bonds of matrimony.

[herkingmentality-shesunbreakable]

[osamu-jinguji]

My favorite books in Apr-2023 - #2 The Lucifer Principle: A Scientific Expedition into the Forces of History – January 1, 1995 by Howard K. Bloom (Author) The Lucifer Principle is a revolutionary work that explores the intricate relationships between genetics, human behavior, and culture to put forth the thesis that "evil" is a by-product of nature's strategies for creation and that it is woven into our most basic biological fabric. In a sweeping narrative that moves lucidly among sophisticated scientific disciplines and covers the entire span of the earth's, as well as mankind's, history, Howard Bloom challenges some of our most popular scientific assumptions. Drawing on evidence from studies of the most primitive organisms to those on ants, apes, and humankind, the author makes a persuasive case that it is the group, or "superorganism," rather than the lone individual that really matters in the evolutionary struggle. But, Bloom asserts, the prominence of society and culture does not necessarily mitigate against our most violent, aggressive instincts. In fact, under the right circumstances the mentality of the group will only amplify our most primitive and deadly urges. In Bloom's most daring contention he draws an analogy between the biological material whose primordial multiplication began life on earth and the ideas, or "memes," that define, give cohesion to, and justify human superorganisms. Some of the most familiar memes are utopian in nature - Christianity or Marxism; nonetheless, these are fueled by the biological impulse to climb to the top of the hierarchy. With the meme's insatiable hunger to enlarge itself, we have a precise prescription for war. Biology is not destiny; but human culture is not always the buffer to our more primitive instincts we would like to think it is. In these complex threads of thought lies the Lucifer Principle, and only through understanding its mandates will we be able to avoid the nuclear crusades that await us in the twenty-first century. Editorial Reviews From Publishers Weekly The "Lucifer Principle" is freelance journalist Bloom's theory that evil-which manifests in violence, destructiveness and war-is woven into our biological fabric. A corollary is that evil is a by-product of nature's strategy to move the world to greater heights of organization and power as national or religious groups follow ideologies that trigger lofty ideals as well as base cruelty. In an ambitious, often provocative study, Bloom applies the ideas of sociobiology, ethology and the "killer ape" school of anthropology to the broad canvas of history, with examples ranging from Oliver Cromwell's reputed pleasure in killing and raping to Mao Tse-tung's bloody Cultural Revolution, India's caste system and Islamic fundamentalist expansion. Bloom says Americans suffer "perceptual shutdown" that blinds them to the United States' downward slide in the pecking order of nations. His use of concepts like pecking order, memes (self-replicating clusters of ideas), the "neural net" or group mind of the social "superorganism" seem more like metaphors than explanatory tools. Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. From Library Journal Pop-culture Renaissance man Bloom-former PR agent for the likes of Prince, writer for Omni magazine, and so on-seeks to explain why civilizations rise and fall, why nations go to war, and why violence and aggression don't disappear with the ascendancy of culture. Big task. The "Lucifer Principle" is based on the metaphors of the "meme" (ideas that arise across cultures and epochs) and "the pecking order" (from chickens to nations, and all in between). This sort of slippery extrapolation is at once cleverly neat and maddeningly suspicious, and the pitfalls of trying to unite animal biology, genetics, cultural history, anthropology, and philosophy are apparent in that sundry causes and effects are all lumped together as equals: rats in a cage do this, "primitive" cultures do that, Sumerians did a third thing, so therefore we do this. The 800 footnotes are symptomatic: sources range from the Information Please Almanac to a textbook on surgical nursing and a sprinkling of audiobooks. This book falls somewhere between Paul Kennedy's Rise and Fall of the Great Powers (LJ 12/87) and John Naisbitt's Megatrends (LJ 10/1/82). For general audiences. Mark L. Shelton, Worcester, Mass. Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. 

[risehealingcenter]

Dating Someone With PTSD: What to Know and How to Navigate

If you are dating or in a relationship with someone who suffers from PTSD, you may be wondering how you can help or what you can expect. You already know there is much to love about your partner and that they are much more than their trauma. You also see how they are hurting and struggling. There is absolutely hope and there are effective ways to treat trauma and PTSD. Together, you can work towards more effectively managing symptoms and ultimately towards healing, so that a new sense of security and freedom can be found in the present.

PTSD is not just for war vets

Many times I have spoken to a therapy client about a PTSD or complex PTSD diagnosis fitting and been met with confusion partly because of the media tendency to exclusively depict PTSD as something that happens as a byproduct of war. In addition to experiences like rape or serious accidents, anything that someone experiences as deeply threatening can cause PTSD-like symptoms. Another working definition of trauma is too much too soon or too little for too long - when our coping skills and nervous systems are overwhelmed or we experience physical or emotional neglect.

What is traditional PTSD?

Traditional PTSD can arise from a single traumatic event or traumas that happen in a short amount of time.

What is complex PTSD?

Complex PTSD is caused by chronically experiencing traumas, oftentimes in childhood (for instance, consistently not getting physically or emotional needs met or experiencing physical or sexual abuse or ongoing bullying).

Individuals who have complex PTSD are sadly more susceptible to developing traditional PTSD later from single incident traumas, as they have less neural networks and experiences of safety internalized that can act as protective barriers.

PTSD symptoms may include

Avoidance

Your loved one is likely to avoid anything that may act as a trigger for their traumas. They may avoid talking about their traumas or any people, places, or activities that could serve as unwanted reminders. Substance use or constantly trying to stay busy and distracted can also be ways to avoid unwanted thoughts or feelings.

Intrusions

Your partner may have intrusive memories of the event, this can look like flashbacks, nightmares, or unwanted images that negatively impact their life. This could also look like somatic intrusions - where their bodies suddenly have a response that feels similarly to how they felt during the traumatic moment.

Thinking Patterns

If your partner is suffering from PTSD, they are likely to struggle with negative self-talk and a negative worldview generally. They may feel hopeless about the future. They could also struggle with memory, including not remembering many aspects of their trauma, as this can be an unconscious protective strategy. Trauma can lead to a sense of detachment from self and others and a sense of emotional numbness.

Reactivity

Someone with PTSD is likely to be easily startled, to be in a state of hyper-vigilance and on the lookout for danger. Your partner may be more irritable or quick to have an angry outburst.

All of these symptoms can be viewed through the lens of nervous system dysregulation, or being stuck in states of fight, flight, and freeze or moving between all three.

The gift of co-regulation

As a partner to someone suffering from PTSD, you have the ability to greatly help your partner through something called co-regulation. As social creatures, we look for cues of safety and danger from others, particularly from those we are most strongly attached to, typically our parents when we are kids and our romantic partners when we are adults. Helping your partner to find calm in their nervous systems through co-regulation can be incredibly healing.

Ways to co-regulate and help soothe your partner

● Use a calm, warm, and loving tone of voice

● Use gentle eye contact and smile at your partner

● Say simple and soothing statements to your partner that show you are with them to communicate safety

○ “I see you”

○ “I’m here for you”

○ “I hear you”

○ “I’m safe”

● Use reflective listening skills and validate your partner when they share with you. Ex: “So what you're saying is __________? Is that right? That must be really hard.” “Tell me more”

● Help your partner know that it is okay to have big feelings and that you can stay with them as they feel. Resisting or suppressing feelings usually only makes them bigger and more persistent. Feeling emotionally attuned to and seen can be incredibly calming. Avoid toxic positivity or minimizing your partner’s feelings.

● Use supportive touch if your partner is receptive to this. This may look like hand holding, hugging, cuddling, or back massages (check to make sure these aren’t triggers).

● Breathe slowly together as you hug or hold hands and face each other. Try and make your breaths match each other and have extra long exhales (try breathing in for 4, holding for 7, and breathing out for 8)

● Toss a ball back and forth together (this requires being in tune with one another and the repetition and focus can be soothing. This can also help someone to escape a flashback and return to the present.)

● Go on walks together

● Ask: “Is there anything you need from me right now? “How can I help?”

Learn your partner's triggers and boundaries

Communicate with your partner about what is triggering for them so that you can best support them in those moments (for instance parties where there are a lot of people). Understand if there are certain sexual or physical boundaries that could be triggering and respect any boundaries that your partner needs. Together, you may be able to soften those boundaries with exposure and with creating a new experience of safety in these moments, but this should be at the pace your partner is ready and highly collaborative. Maintain an open dialogue about what they may find helpful when triggered or when they experience flashbacks

Help to create a calm home environment

Predictability, stability, and routines can be calming and help your partner’s nervous system to feel more settled. This may mean doing rituals together, like cooking or eating together at a consistent time, having morning coffee together, or going on after work walks together. Don’t discount the impact that our senses can play in helping us to feel safe. Consider paying attention to your lighting, play calming music, light scented candles, and minimize clutter.

Putting your own oxygen mask on first

Dating and loving someone with PTSD can be hard. It is painful to know that our loved one is suffering and it can feel like a lot of pressure to fix it for them.

Know that there is only so much that you as their partner can do, especially if you are emotionally depleted or dysregulated yourself.

Take care of your own needs, work on learning self regulation skills and also confide in your partner and allow them to be a source of co-regulation for you when they are able to be. Lean on other supports in your life, like friends or family to help fill your own emotional cup up.

It may feel hard to reach your partner at times if they are numb or retreating. If could feel like you are walking on eggshells if their PTSD manifests in a quick temper. You can both have empathy and also not allow yourself to be mistreated. You may need to set your own boundaries at times - “please lower your voice, I can’t engage well with you when you're speaking like that to me. I will need to leave the room if you continue.”

You may benefit from your own therapy to help you more effectively navigate the stress and challenges that you may be facing in your relationship.

Encourage your partner to get professional trauma treatment

PTSD is serious and as much as your love can be a source of healing, your partner likely needs professional trauma treatment to truly get the relief they need from their trauma symptoms and to not spend their lives avoiding possible triggers.

As trauma lives in the nervous system and body, therapies that are body-based and not only cognitive are needed for PTSD treatment. EMDR is a gold standard treatment for trauma. Other modalities and approaches that can be highly effective, especially when incorporated with EMDR, include parts work, attachment-based therapy (particularly for childhood trauma), and somatic approaches. Therapy that incorporates mindfulness, acceptance of feelings, as well as calming exercises (like breathing strategies) are also helpful.

At Rise Healing Center, we incorporate all of these modalities and approaches, as we aim to treat trauma in the most effective way possible. If your partner lives in California, consider having them book a free consultation call to see if our practice might be a good fit for them.

[grimdarkandhandsome]

Read this instead of Rifters by Peter Watts

Non-Spoilery info:

Rifters is a series of 4 scifi novels from around 2004. They contain a extraordinary mix of cool & off-putting elements. What's cool about it is it's a delightfully bleak drama about amoral cyborgs fighting freaky nonhumans.

Discussion of fictional sexual assault:

The most strikingly off-putting element is that this is in part a drama about how horrible it would be if a evil government modified your brain to enjoy being a victim of rape. Personally i find this a reasonable topic for horror science fiction - indeed, it would be quite horrible. But i think it's sufficiently gruesome for readers to know what they're getting into. And sufficient for many readers to skip the series. If that's you, then i hereby give you permission to read this post & spoil yourself on all the other cool things that happen in this series :)

Spoilers for Book 1:

The 1st novel, Starfish, is cool but very small-scale. We're in a ominous research station on the bottom of the ocean. My favorite parts:

The deep-sea organisms are mysteriously developing beyond the usual rules of biology. (However, the author is a marine biologist obsessed with accuracy, so we will still be getting real science ideas here.) Transparent fish several meters across, organisms clumping up & behaving like cells in a superorganism, flesh gone mad.

One of the characters suffers a stroke in his modified brain while swimming outside the station. His radio goes dead but his vitals keep going. He goes feral, haunting the ocean floor, eating fish, mostly braindead, only his 'lizard brain' functions running his body.

Spoilers for Book 2:

Maelstrom is my favorite book in the series. It has some fun ideas that i've never seen elsewhere in scifi. Favorite parts:

Much of the future economy depends on biotech thinking machines composed of vat-grown human gray matter. They're more like computers than brains, because they are human neurons arranged in totally different shapes & arrangements from a brain. Each one is task-specific: Some are connected to a mic & speakers & can speak to you, some are connected to cameras & can see, & some run shipping companies.

The delightful nickname for these neuronal petri dishes is 'head cheeses'.

The portrayal of the strengths & weaknesses of these neural nets is mostly quite realistic. You could also say this is the best pre-LLM novel about LLMs.

The future internet has a totally awesome problem. There was a cybersecurity arms race where humans competed to create computer viruses that could evolve faster than defensive viruses could keep up. Now most computers on the planet are carriers for a million strains of endemic, still-evolving viruses.

We call these 'wildlife'.

We even get memorable chapters from the point of view of wildlife! Struggling to avoid being overwritten (byte by byte) by more sophisticated wildlife.

We also have a biological epidemic. The protagonists caught a deadly microbe at the bottom of the ocean, now it's devastating cities on land.

This microbe, called Behemoth, is a totally new domain of life. Its metabolism uses new a chemical pathway which is of superior efficiency to all other life. It has been contained to one hydrothermal vent for eons, because cold water is lethal to it.

At first, we think it came in on a panspermial meteorite long ago.

Later, we learn it is native to Earth, coming from abiogenesis at that vent. All other domains of life are panspermial. We colonized Behemoth's planet!

Earth is ruled by a amoral corporation-government. (ie, a 'corporation'-themed organization that rules territory, has a monopoly on force, & draws taxes.) They are fun antagonists, full of cynical spymasters & smart, heartless biologists.

The corporation is initially skilled at handling both biological & cybersecurity epidemics. Corporate computers are well-firewalled against wildlife, & cities are quarantined off from each other by walls & draconian biosecurity checkpoints. However, Behemoth becomes unstoppable.

The tone of this novel is very fun. Cyberpunk super-agents vs huge evil government. Human species lucky if they can survive the year. Scowling at night in a rainstorm. Etc.

EVERY character is amoral. Everyone & everything is a self-prioritizing organism in a ecosystem.

At the end, we think everyone has failed to contain Behemoth, & that it will infect & kill all terrestrial life. But then we see something awesome. The corporation has deployed a line of (vacuum-chamber) airships, sweeping west across North America, firebombing the continent so thoroughly as to completely sterilize every ecosystem. The bad guys aren't giving up yet!

Spoilers for Book 3 & 4:

These books escalate the stakes & do a decent job of concluding everything. Favorite parts:

Earth's leadership has abandoned every continent (!) & is now based out of a station on the ocean floor. (It's a different ocean.)

Those land animals that weren't bombed are developing mysterious new phenotypes. Animals grow extra limbs, in a strange symbiosis - perhaps Behemoth will become a upgrade to the mitochondrion??

As a general theme, all characters are nothing more than a collection of lobes & cortices, sometimes artificially disrupted. The universe is nothing more than a lawless contest between humans, microbes, & everything else. Whichever organism adapts & reproduces more in Earth's chemical environments wins.

The corporate biologists lose control & the freaky organisms win.

Again, this series has a lot of unpleasant rape plotlines, but the other parts are so fun! People who won't read the books deserve at least to hear what happens in them.

PS: I halfheartedly recommend Maelstrom. I wholeheartedly recommend Blindsight, my favorite novel by Watts :)

[lyrics365]

Virus

ET COGITO ERGO SUM ET COGITO ERGO SUM Forgotten soul Angel of stone Guardian of electric moonlight You saw that seed Raping the rain Causing the neural infection Myst of secret heavens Save my world They act and think Caught in weird dreams Victims of viral abstraction Fading away Denying the phi Primary code of existence Star of cosmic ocean Breath my lost soul LOST IN SILENT GREY EMOTION ON THE…