#netflix just say you hate lesbians and GO

[sugarbear2001]

I started watching the new Tomb Raider: Lara Croft anime on Netflix, and it's honestly not a bad show. Unfortunately, when you go online, most posts about the series are from butthurt men pissing their pants because the show doesn't cater to them. These losers are absolutely trashing the show because *checks notes* the show is woke, Lara Croft is not some busty pin-up doll for them to jerk off to, and because Lara is a lesbian who is not "sexy" (does not fit their porno rotted gaze). I fucking hate it here. I wish these men would just shut up. They have absolutely nothing constructive to say about this show. 

[mirellapryce]

My submission for DBDA Positivity Week is the essay I wrote for Queer Media Meetup. It's a spoiler free-ish breakdown of the show, what makes it queer, and why I loved it so much. It is my love letter to the show, and the writers, actors and creators who brought it all together <3

What is the title?

Dead Boy Detectives. Tragically it was cancelled after one season on Netflix, but you should watch that one season anyway.

What is it about?

It’s written on the tin. They’re ghosts, they’re teenage boys, they solve mysteries. They’re the Dead Boy Detective Agency.

Okay, it’s more than that, but we do start with our main boys Charles and Edwin who are ghosts that work together to help other ghosts resolve their “unfinished business” on Earth so that they can pass on to the afterlife. This is tricky sometimes, because they’re also avoiding being taken to their own afterlives by Death. As Charles describes them, Edwin is the brains, and Charles is the brawns of the operation and they’ve been working together for 30 years.Which brings us to our main plot. They receive a job to help out a ghost’s living friend, Crystal, who has been behaving strangely for a while. Crystal is psychic which is why she can see ghosts. It turns out that she’s been possessed by a demon, but when they remove the demon, her memories are also mysteriously gone. Charles says that she can stay with them until they come back. Edwin is less than pleased to have a new person thrown into his perfectly normal, codependent household (but he can’t say no to Charles). For plot reasons, Crystal convinces them to take on a case all the way in the US where the majority of the plot takes place as they solve various mysteries before they can go back home.

What makes it queer?

Charles sitting on any surface that is not a chair is peak bisexual behaviour.

Kidding (and while I would have loved that arc for him, he was busy this season working through his trauma and learning to be more honest about his feelings, so we will move on to the actual queer characters).

Edwin gets his own gay awakening and subsequent coming out. He’s a repressed Edwardian boy who was bullied for his queer behaviours in his day. That doesn’t stop him from behaving very queerly even after EVERYTHING HE’S BEEN THROUGH (my boy is king of the trauma Olympics), and we love that for him. Another potentially queer aspect that wasn’t really explored, but was brought up in the show is that all of his human disguises are female. If the show had gotten another season it might have been interesting to see how that particular gender expression applies to his personal feelings on his own gender. Alas, I can only fall back on tumblr meta and fanfiction for that. Despite being stiff and awkward, the next two queer men are both down bad for him.

Monty is a lot of spoilers all on his own, but he immediately develops a crush on Edwin, and one of our living girls, Niko encourages Edwin to pursue the relationship.

The Cat King…Uhhhhhh he’s hundreds of years old. He’s a shapeshifter. He is in fact a cat, who just sometimes looks human, so expect typical cat behaviour. He doesn’t have time for humans gendering their clothing. He will rock all of these skirts, thank you very much. And he will dress down to try and seduce the hot British twink.

Now onto our lesbians. We forgive Jenny for being a landlord, because she’s also a hot, goth butcher (and now I wonder if that pun was intended when they wrote her job), and she hates that she genuinely likes our two female leads (our Alive Girl Detectives, Crystal and Niko, as it were) and as the only adult she has taken it upon herself to take care of these kids whether she likes it or not.

Maxine is also a lot of spoilers, but we will say she’s the cute librarian, and through shenanigans and matchmaking she goes on a date with Jenny and they are super cute.

Why do you like it?

I am weak for the classic, red-blue, sunshine and grumpy ship dynamics with banter, and our leads absolutely provide that. Admittedly I was drawn into this show from the fandom first for Edwin and Charles’ relationship. All of our characters have interesting and varied relationships with each other, whether they are best friends, frienemies, autistic besties, or romantic rivals. And once again, you all know how much I love a found family, and I only wish we had more episodes to see more of that family unit be built.

It should also be noted that the whole cast is just very nice to look at. I should not be admiring Jayden Revri’s jawline as much as I am.

Niko doesn’t get her own queer or romantic arc, but I love her all the same. I want to give her a queer honourable mention, because she’s the one who first explains to Edwin that two guys can like each other romantically. She has manga about it if he needs evidence. She is me in high school, and I love that for her. She loves love and just wants her new gay bestie to be happy, and maybe to kiss Monty.

Important notes that I picked up from a review of this show before I even watched it that I actually really appreciate. 1) It is well lit. You can see what’s happening! I did not have to fight with the lighting settings to see faces or settings or to know what was going on! 2) It is an “R rated family show”. To elaborate, the show does not shy away from cursing or violence, but there are no awkward sex scenes that suddenly make you wish you were not watching this with friends or family around. It doesn’t unexpectedly turn into porn so it’s good wholesome fun you can watch anywhere.

Another part I enjoyed was how certain plots gave us breadcrumbs, so we could pick up on the plot twist before it happened. It was subtle enough to not feel forced, but then when you see it you can look back and shout about how it was a sign.

I don’t know how they did it, but somehow it is the perfect combination of lighthearted, campy shenanigans and funs times, while also respectfully addressing a lot of darker themes. There’s a man who used to be a walrus. There are themes of grief for both the living and the dead. The Cat King is so extra that he brought a chandelier into the woods just to impress a guy. They bring up how abuse can mess you up and that if you try to ignore it, it can come back to haunt you. There are tiny gods who heckle you with white suburban Karen energy. The show calls out abusive and stalker behaviours for what they are. The afterlife is a bureaucracy with very specific paperwork that needs to be filled out before you can do anything. Our main characters are ghosts, because both of them were murdered in their teens.

All of that and more in just 8 episodes.

[padfoot-lupin77]

Watching Dead Boy Detectives and, well, thoughts while watching:

The cat king is so much worse than I imagined.

“You know you can think things without saying them. Edwin’s obviously jealous” jkfjxdkdkfkhfkd Crystal out here solving the real mysteries

Charles Rowland you are a fucking genius (episode 4, after kicking the bitch lady in the fish)

Why the FUCK are Charles and Crystal making out

Do I want Monty to get out of the way? Absolutely. Do I want him to have a character development and call Esther out on her shit? Of course. Do I still hate him a little? Yeah just a little

Crystal don’t drink that, Maren is about to drug you. (CALLED IT!)

Psychopath lesbians weren’t what I was expecting out of this

Clutching your heart after hugging your best friend isn’t usual platonic behavior. Just saying, Edwin.

David is my mortal enemy. Well. He’s not mortal. But he’s my enemy so still.

“I have feelings for you too” GOOD FOR YOU MONTY! BUT: the feelings he has, are NOT for you so 🤷‍♀️

Tragic Mick’s is Magic Tricks with the first letters swapped

Monty DON’T make me change my mind I don’t quite hate you yet DON’T waste your chance of being on my good books LEAVE my boys alone pls and ty

Can people PLEASE start respecting Jenny’s boundaries

EDWIN DESERVES THE WORLD

Jenny has had enough near-death experiences by now she should be able to see the ghosts (update:🙃)

Can someone murder Esther or send her to hell or smth

Go kiss somewhere else not in front of Edwin you motherfuckers (affectionately)(but also pls stop hurting my boy Edwin)

If Esther isn’t dead and my boys aren’t free by the end of the season I’m suing Netflix

Monty be useful FOR ONCE and turn back to human to save your ex crush and his crush

If the snake starts speaking I’ll lose it

I love Charles so much

Jfkhfdkdkjfdgjdgsgfshfs

[sapphiresaphics]

So these are screenshots in the Bridging the Rift documentary about the creation of Arcane. This is from episode 3 which debuted in August 2022. The episodes are all up on YouTube for free btw.

You can see them working on designing Lest.

Viktors metal hands.

And a very close to completion shot of Caitlyn in S2E1 handing tea to her grieving father.

Season 1 was released on November 2021. This documentary came out almost a year after the first season aired and they were already deep enough into season 2 that shots and characters from Act 1 were already nearing completion.

Amanda Overton has said in interviews online that season 2’s story was finished being written before season 1 even aired. The voice actors for Maddie and Sky both have said they recorded their lines for season 2 right around when covid hit in 2020. And these glimpses behind the scenes seem to confirm that. You can’t be working on near completed shots if you don’t have a script and dialogue already written and recorded.

This is why I really hate the speculation that the season was “rushed” or that the issues people have with this season are the result of Netflix or some corporate overlord cancelling future seasons or forcing them to add stuff they didn’t want. From all the evidence I can see and from all the information we’ve gotten from the writers themselves, both seasons of Arcane were written back to back and completed before season 1 even finished airing.

I know that if you had issues with season 2 it’s easier to blame some sort of external force for what’s wrong, but so far all of the evidence just points to this is how the season was written for good or bad.

Also we neee to clear some things up. Christian Linke may be going around giving interviews, but that’s mostly because he’s the show runner and producer. That’s a technical term for the guy who funds the project and makes sure it’s on budget and gets done. He doesn’t really have a lot of story credit, he’s a music producer. So take whatever he says with a grain of salt.

The REAL people you should be listening to are people like Amanda Overton who have not been shy about taking about their process in writing the series. She’s answered a lot of questions about the series in YouTube videos like this.

Additionally, you need to understand that Netflix is mostly just the distributor. Riot funded and produced the whole show on their own. And while they had some Netflix censorship guidelines they had to follow (for scenes where the lesbian sex got a little too spicy), Netflix has no control over the series. They did not cancel the show early. They do not promise them 5 seasons and suddenly cut it back to 2. Netflix is in it for the viewership only. If they actually DID cancel the series, Riot could easily just keep producing more shows and release them on any other streaming platform instead. Netflix holds nothing over them.

I guess all I want to do is show how LONG of a process all of this was and to give some insight into the making of the show. I want people to understand these things so they’re not out here coming up with conspiracy theories and out what they THINK went wrong. Uninformed speculation is not useful or productive.

Personally, I loved season 2 and the “rushed” feeling has been dwindling the more I rewatch the show and appreciate what they were doing. I strongly recommend that if you have issues with the show, go back and rewatch the entire show from start to finish. I’m finding stuff in season 1 that only makes more sense now that season 2 is out.

[avatarcompanion]

Lol someone posted about what I said about the red blue prison cell korrasami fanfiction lookalike lesbians.

No I am not hating on the red blue prison cell korrasami fanfiction lookalike lesbians...

Like good for them, it's great, go on and so on.

I just said I don't personally care. Because I just don't. I have no idea about that show, and I won't watch it. I didn't watch shera either.

Not wanting to watch is not hate, it is not an attack. It's just me mouthing, and it's not that deep. Nothing is taken away.

Also it is not hate to say they look like Korrasami fan content. Because they really literally absolutely do. And it's fine. I personally do not enjoy those tropes, but even I can realize it is in fact great if animators looked to wlw animation fanbase's content and wanted to cave into what they wanted to see when making a new story.

Caving in to an audience is not inherently bad, and building on fan favourite romantic tropes (even if those tropes are not common in pop culture) is not bad, but also might not be doing it for the next person (me), just because it was for you. Or maybe it would if I watched. It's not deep, and it's not a crusade against a media or a ship to not run with the crowd having excitement for the newest thing in the mediasphere or Netflix rec queue.

That's kind of my stick on this blog. Yes I will post my own salty ass opinions when I feel like it, but ultimately that is all this is. Someone disagreeing with you is not harming you, feeling differently is not taking the thing away from you. Enjoy it on your own terms. We can debate without having to self-victimize that someone had another experience of it.

Also another point for me is there is a lot of LGBT representation in media today. I have seen women love & fuck before. I'm not jumping into a ship or show just because u say u have more of that. What will and always have made me connect with a story is something that makes my heart go on fire, and that's that.

I think it's fine today to discuss wlw ships on their own merits as a story based on personal perspectives as well as # facts, because they can and really should not claim to represent some universal monolith.

Yes it's sesbian lex or whatever, but more than that it's a moment for those two specific characters... right?

So I can not care about something, and also realize it's something good for the girlies.

[ecstasyhighway]

YOU & I | an ellie williams fanfic series

this is a fic that will be posted and mostly updated on wattpad @ecstasyhighway this ff is heavily based off of you the netflix show and inspired by a ff on here which i cannot remember who wrote it but if yk lmk so i can give proper credit.

there is not smut in this little part here but its a filthy ah fic that will become darker as it goes on.

MEN DNI - 16+ i fear (im 17 so if u feel uncomfortable reading from a minor who will be 18 at the end of the year then u dont have to read this i really dgaf.)

ch 1 ch 2

silly story and more ff info under the cut

Ellie had seen you walking around the music store she worked at... her attention automatically shifted from the customer in front of her to you. Your hair, your curves, your eyes. Everything about you was just...

"hello? did you hear me?" the woman raised her voice slightly to get her attention,

Ellie snapped out of her thoughts and focused on the clearly irritated woman in front of her.

"yea my bad, what was that..?"

The lady rolled her eyes and started asking questions about guitar lessons for her son or daughter or some shit, she wasnt really paying attention to the nonsense floating from her mouth.

"yeah, im not the one you go to about that, uhhh my buddy Jesse is in the back, he can help you"

"thanks" and with that, she headed towards the back, muttering words under her breath.

Ellie's attention quickly turned back towards you. She examines you closely. Watching you grab a vinyl from the shelf, Call Me If You Get Lost, is what you had grabbed. Ellie wants to walk over to you, and talk to you but shes scared. What if she says the wrong thing? What if she freaks you out? What if you think shes a weirdo.. She turns away to stop looking at you, her cheeks are red and shes shaking, she is just so nervous and she's not even planning on talking to you... She puts her face in her hands and begins to calm herself down.

"Hi! hello"

A voice chimes from behind her, she turns around and a lump forms in her throat.

Its... you.

———————————————————————————

YOU & I | ellie williams.

this is a DARK fanfic. Based heavily off of the show you on netflix and inspired by a fanfic I saw on tumblr. This story has adult themes, sexual themes, stalking, thoughts of killing (no actual killing just thoughts), themes of hate, ellie has slight mental issues (obv shes stalking) age gaps (only 3 years and they're adults). idgaf how old u are this is dark and you have been warned, i am not responsible for any type of reaction you may have to this as ive given you a warning. I will give warnings at the beginning of chapters that might be too dark. again you have been warned.

important - ellie might be a tad ooc, shy!ellie, switch!ellie if you squint. this is a lesbian ff.

MEN DNI I WILL FIND YOU.

reader is afab and 20

ellie is 23

modern au

jessie, dina, joel, tommy, maria, most of the main tlou cast is in this (not everyone will be mentioned or even really have a place in the story, just know they are present)

based in New York (obv)

i am not a professional writer, im simply a girl who writes shit when shes bored, do not expect me to have an upload schedule. I get drained v fast and i want to enjoy writing, its not a job with deadlines. so with that my grammar might be bad, spelling might be ass and if there is any math it will probably be wrong, it might be written in third, or first person i be fuckin up with that but yall will be fine.

YOU & I | ellie williams.

story created and written by @ecstasyhighway

tlou and the characters belongs to Neil Druckmann and Naughty Dog

the story of "YOU" belongs to Netflix

Story was ib by a ff i saw breifly but i don't remember who wrote it so, if yk pls lmk so i can give proper credit

THIS IS FICTION. DO NOT DO THIS SHIT IRL BRUH ITS ACTUALLY WEIRD ASF. AGAIN THIS IS PURELY FICTIONAL. thank yew

uhhhh yeah enjoy ig and i do appreciate any supportive criticism as i am not a professional writer and shit could just be wrong.

also im new to tumblr fanfic writing so yeah 😭.

[dashboardcat]

beastars s3 (pt1) thoughts (for old time's sake)

-I didn't love the opening at first but it def grew on me. shishigumi car. reblog. you agree.

-was the energy drink plot in the manga? or did they make it up to kinda try simplify a number of black matket plot lines? bc I will admit a lot of the black market stuff has kinda been "it's always been bad, but it's SO bad now trust us bro" so I don't mind seeing them actually to show what the change actually was

-I don't love how they literally translated sebun's name as seven but alas

-no "be mad legoshi" smh my head. can't the gays have ANYTHING

-Louis's still a giant faggot lmao

-zaguan is apparently also a giant faggot lmao

-the fish eating a bowl of upon is perhaps one of the most unsettling things I've ever seen

-while I was hoping they'd cut kyuu entirely, I do appreciate them name dropping her a little early so she doesn't just pop up out of no where like she does

-HE ATE A BEE

-I don't really love melons dub voice. could be faggier.

-was haru's dream of opening a restaurant in the manga? did they add it to parallel legoshi working in a restaurant?

-I was originally ready to say I didn't like the initial scene with haru's college friends bc I thought that was all we'd ever see of them, but im glad that wasn't the case and we got more of them, including the original manga scene (more or less)

-ngl I hate that they took out legoshi forgetting his own birthday smh

-juno infordmping on legoshi fucking killed me

-my mixed ass is having a hard time taking how they throw the word mixed around seriously lmao

-goofy ass cgi car

-THEY KEPT THE KINKY PARTY LESBIANS LETS FUCKING GO

-damn i thought FOR SURE the season was gonna end on legoshi getting shot but there's still a few episodes left lol

-speaking of, while I did like the scene of legoshi getting shot, I didn't love that they took out the part where legoshi handcuffed him, then let him go

-oh hey they they included a bit abt louis's prosthetic leg acting up. diversity win or smth idk

-even if I don't love melon's voice, they sure did animate that twink well

-LEANNOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭

-immediately following that up with louis talking science with the civet was... a choice... like sure the theme of mixes is there but it's tonally very jarring in a binge watch (which again, they insist on)

-speaking of, wasnt the civet super racist before? hes kinda just some dork now

-legoshi not being able to resist talking stage lighting with the strip club owner lmao

-did... did netflix censor louis picking a lock?? lmao what

-wait how fast did louis's antlers grow back?

-JUST TO LOSE ONE AGAIN???

-lol at the principal telling the drama club "stop doing Adler get some new material"

-WHY DOES LEGOSHI WEAR HEADPHONES LIKE THAT

-oh they DID leave it on a he dead cliffhanger lmao

all in all, all of the great, slice-of-life legoshi making his way through life as an adult type stuff that I loved from the latter half of the manga (and also the jokerfied fruit twink) was there. aside from the aforementioned bit with the leanno scene going straight into something almost entirely unrelated, most of the pacing was pretty decent (even if in hindsight it is kinda funny jumping back and forth between scenes of legoshi experiencing bodily harm and the drama club going "but what about the big playyyy :(")

things haven't gotten too messy yet... now we wait for whenever pt 2 drops to see how bad it gets...

[archangeldyke-all]

I got hated indie this so I didn’t want to say it, but yes their relationship was too fast for me in season one. I don’t believe that ppl connect with each other that fast lmao. They’ve known each other for five days and suddenly they’re like ‘what about us ?’ What us??? Genuinely have felt left out of the fandom and lesbian community cuz I just did not understand them; I remember going to the last episode before their rain scene on Netflix just to check if I posed an episode. The feeling a were so high for two ppl that only met last week.

But I feel like season two will actually develop their relationship and give sth more than just that (imo) shaky foundation. I get connecting as friends and like having a bit of a crush and sexual attraction, but they both looked like they were neck deep in love with each other at the end of the series which was wild and confusing to me. They’re he first animated lesbians I didn’t ship and I feel so bad 😪

I love your reading on Cait. I don’t connect to her character but seeing other ppl’s perspectives makes it easier to like do that. Cuz she genuinely is cute and means well.

(Also I wondered if it was just me but do you see like Cait’s narrative purpose in the story ? Like, I feel like one of cait’s purposes as a character in season one was to create (unintentional) chaos between Vi and Jinx, given what she symbolizes for high of them and such, and that genuinely irked me. Though I could just be overthinking it.)

And can I be 🗣️ anon ? I always be talking lol

omg same i hope season 2 gives cait and vi some time to uhh... reflect? grow? go on like a normal coffee date and learn each other's favorite colors? simple things. cait didn't even know violet was an orphan and she was already giving her the lovey dovey eyes, they definitely skipped a few steps in their relationship in season 1 (but i get it, they were going through some pretty big individual and shared traumas at the time, they didn't really have time to get to know each other)

i think cait's narrative purpose is probably to give us an insight to piltover and how the majority of citizens up top think about the undercity. cait is completely clueless that people two or three miles from her home are living in despair-- it isn't until she goes to the undercity herself and learns from vi and ekko that she starts to realize. i think she is meant to show how piltover's managed to turn it's back on its sister city for so long-- it's people just live in pure ignorance both about the issues zaun's citizens face, and the fact that piltover's to blame for those issues.

and of course you can!! i love getting new anons heheeh

[guardiandua]

So I've been struggling to find inspiration and giving myself a break allowed me to figure out why. Ever since the loss of my admittedly fake friends, it's been hard to talk about my main fandom Voltron. Today I'm going to let out all the thoughts I've been wanting to ramble about and have no one to ramble about to anymore because it's hurting my inspiration.

I don't have a particular order to this so I'll just begin. My favourite character and Paladin is Keith Kogane. His journey is very much something I can relate to. Someone the world decided to give up on but there was one person who never gave up on him and asked for nothing in return. Like Keith had Shiro I had my Mom.

Unlike most others, I actually prefer Keith as the Black Paladin. I don't hate him as the Red Paladin and thought Red's fierce protectiveness over him was both adorable and hilarious, however I also enjoy character growth being a writer myself. I feel as the Red Paladin, he remained quite the lone wolf and hotheaded. The Red Lion is someone who would have encouraged that impulsiveness because as we saw King Alfor was the same way.

Being in the Black Lion forced him to grow and mess up then learn from his mistakes. He's more similar to Shiro than to Lance which is interesting because he's younger than Shiro and we don't know what Shiro would have been like at Keith's age. Perhaps Shiro adopted him because he saw a bit of himself in Keith and wants to support that. I won't go into too much detail on why Keith makes a great Black Paladin because I have a whole post on that already.

Another thing I love is the brotherly relationship with Keith and Shiro. The society nowadays has become a little bit corrupt because we cannot have two men say I love you even if they add you're my brother without it being made into something sexual. Before the gays come after me (not that I care but you guys take up so much space in the dang comments) I would feel the same if Shiro was a girl and Keith said you're my sister I love you. I would not ship them together but that said the platonic relationship between them is beautiful. The I will die for you or I will die protecting you that is mutual between them. The way Keith was able to pilot Black to save Shiro despite not being her Paladin was so hot! He looked so cool...oh gosh I'm fangirling now hehe. Ok moving on from how hot Keith is. He is hot though right? Anyhoo!

I ship Keith with Allura. Ironically I shipped them together before I knew about the 80s Voltron and although it took me awhile to accept how much I love these two together due to bad fans. Our fandom is toxic guys. It's sad but true. But I feel this show is too good not to ramble about.

Season 7 is my favourite Voltron season. I don't like that they made Shiro gay but that's also because I feel in a reboot you shouldn't change a character's original sexuality. It's like me deciding to do a rewrite of the Harry Potter books and have it be a TV show on Netflix and I decided to make Hermione a lesbian. It's so disrespectful because it's like it's a fanfiction that's actually official which does not feel fair. Also I may not like the whole LGBTQ+ agenda but even if I did, it's cheap representation. I wouldn't want a woman of colour in media if it was just for brownie points and it's not going to make any difference if the character was a white woman.

But back to positivity!! I like season 7 because it feels like a war story. People die. The stakes are higher and heck the Paladins almost die at the end. But my two biggest reasons are Keith and Kallura. It was wonderful to see them address that Keith basically did what he was terrified of his team doing to him. He left them and that being thrown in his face dang that was powerful for his development. He was a complete different person after that. Being there for Hunk, supporting his team wherever they needed him to be.

The second reason is this season to me showed that Keith loved Allura and how much this was sadly a missed opportunity. When the Paladins are captured by Sendak and Keith regains consciousness for like a couple of seconds, the first person he checks on is Allura. She is the first person his eyes travel to and then he falls back unconscious. Dang it was not only a missed opportunity for Kallura but it also showed Keith was more physically resilient than the others even Allura. Are half-Galrans stronger than Alteans? That certainly makes Lotor pretty powerful then.

So I let out a lot of my thoughts in here but there will be more specific posts later. Character analyses and all, pairing stuff, villain stuff etc. this feels good.

[lisasmind]

Johoo, saw your post and just had to follow you you seem awsome

Question: do you have any criticism to race to the edge, if so what? I find it very fascinating to see different people’s opinions on the series

heyyy thanks for the follow! i’m glad you like my acc!

before i say anything, PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY OPINIONS SERIOUSLY! i’m coming to y’all mostly in a joking tone like it’s all chill. i like the show and enjoy watching it but yeah without further ado!

rtte. when i was younger i had a love-hate relationship with it. there were many things i didn’t like but i kept watching cause we still had a long wait for thw and i NEEDED httyd content. of course there were things that i liked but yeah.

rewatching it now, i realized i might’ve been over exaggerating! to be fair, i’ve always been a dramatic person so there’s no surprise in that.

there are still things i’m iffy about.

- first off, hiccup and toothless’ relationship. to me, toothless seemed more like a pet than a best pal to hiccup. like toothless was usually in the background for the majority of his screen time. they did have their moments like in dire straits, enemy of my enemy (i think … but i can’t recall well), and triple cross, but that’s pretty much it.

- heather’s whole storyline. it was good in the beginning but wow they just really let go of her character. like she had SOOO much potential and she was well liked within the fandom. i would suggest watching this video on youtube:

it pretty much wraps up all my thoughts on her.

- DAGUR! SHOULDVE! STAYED! DEAD!

and if they weren’t planning on killing him off THEY SHOULDNT HAVE MADE HIS “DEATH” SCENE SO TRAGICALLY BEAUTIFUL CAUSE NOW WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT

- hiccup was not supposed to see the ice spikes! again, 18 year old hiccup was NOT. SUPPOSED. TO SEE. THE ICE SPIKES! why? because 20 year old hiccup has NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE!

- heathlegs. i’m sorry but i know a lesbian when i see one.

- this one i won’t get too worked up on cause i know the writers have said a few times hiccstrid was not going to be the main focus of the show (and tbh, as a hiccstrid shipper … thank god), but i wish their development from the friends to crush to lovers stage was more noticeable. to me it kinda just felt like BOOM! hiccstrid together!

at least the kisses were good. no no. the kisses were EXCELLENT! PURE CINEMA!

- listen i know they were in a time crunch when netflix just threw two more seasons at them, but johann? really?

- ASTRID NOT GETTING HICCUP A FAWKING MAP IN SANDBUSTED!

and that’s all i can think of for now, but all in all i love this show. i literally used to sit and wait for the seasons to come out at 3 AM MY TIME!! like this was my teenhood! i went to school sleep deprived for this shit so don’t you think for a second that i’m coming from a place of hate or ungratefulness.

i do have positive things about rtte but i’ll save that for a different post (also i plan to rewatch each episode one by one and make a tumblr post of my thoughts cause why not).

anyways thanks for asking this!

[yeetus-feetus]

trying to get my previously very homophobic hardcore-christian baby brother to accept the lgbtqia+

Captains Log: First entry

So far he's become accumulated to the idea of two boys being able to have a healthy relationship through his obsession with one Damian Al Ghul Wayne.

Through giving him access to my Pinterest account for something I honestly can't remember- maybe a school thing, he discovered my DC pins and I introduced him to some really cute Damijon art. He was immediately consumed. I left him alone on my laptop and came back to more than three dozen new pins of purely Damijon fanarts.

Note: remind me to make him his own account Jfc!

From Damijon he then discovered Timkon and Superbat. It is an understatement to say he is a fan of bat×super pairings.

I exploited his new obsessions with these ships to make him angry because he's so terribly cute and hilarious when he's angry. How did I do this?

Well, I decided one day that I would break the unfortunate news to him that Jon Kent was in fact already in a relationship with one Jay Nakamura, and Tim as such with one Bernard Dowd. The following outburst from him was immeasurable!

You can imagine my surprise when he screamed at me, demanding I prove such a thing- then afterwards the amount of tears. He refused to speak to me for two while weeks, unless uping the anti on telling me how I was going to hell for being a fag. Hypocritical of him in all honesty considering he was saving pins of boys kissing quicker and more efficiently than I could complete my assignments.

Anywho, I took advantage of this. I like poking the bear, and he's a very cute bear, so I began mentioning Jay and Jon when I felt like seeing his little face get so red with anger it's possible steam might come from his ears. We quickly developed a loose script of back and forth; him getting angry and trying to explode me with his mind, me grinning at how wholeheartedly he defended his most favourite ship between two boys.

Until one day my little brother flipped that script and pulled the rug right out from underneath me and my little game. He proposed Polyamory. Of all thing, Polyamory. Not something you'd expect from the mouth of a Christian boy- especially about three boys.

How and where this primary school kid learnt about the idea of Polyamory escapes me. I have no idea, but the fact he was willing to accept it to disprove my point is almost even more hilarious than his face when he's angry.

I'm so glad, proud in honesty, that he has experienced this growth as a person, that he is accepting of Polyamory- even if it is because of something so silly. It's progress in getting him to stop condemning me and mine to hell. He is willing to accept such relationships now, and all because of my incessant teasing and taunting.

This acceptance extends to Timberkon especially, from what I can tell from the 12 pins he's added to his ever growing collection on my account. Which I am very pleased about, considering my own love for that particular ship. And also, he's realised he can ship Batman with more people than just Superman (though he still hates that I'm a Batlantern shipper).

His favourite Batman ship is now Batman, Superman and Lois Lane as a throuple. He is also open to the idea of Batman dating Talia Al Ghul and Cat Woman as well as Superman. (He is not letting go of the Superbat element, that's fine though).

And, surprisingly, it has also extended to a new show we've been watching together, with my second brother as well, called "Castlevania" on Netflix, in which he's now insisting the main three characters- Trevor Belmont, Sypha Belnades, and Adrian Teppesh aka Alucard- are polyamorus and all in love with each other.

Note: we are only in the second season as of now.

Which is all excellent growth in my books!

Now my lovely friend @froggyinfear has suggested I introduce him to lesbians next, to further his acceptance of queer relationships. I intend to update you all with the details of my progress in this endeavour with this new Captain's Log.

[artisticdemon]

Lara Croft, my childhood hero

Lara Croft is a special character to me growing up. Tomb Raider Anniversary was the first game I ever played on PlayStation 2 back in 2007 and I was 6 years old. It was the first time I saw a female protagonist in a videogame and I looked up to her and wanted to become her. Then Angelina Jolie entered the picture with the live-action movies and that made my love for the character to reach new levels. She is my role model.

Then in 2013 I got the Tomb Raider Trilogy (Anniversary, Legend, Underworld) and I had the time of my life, I still play the trilogy to this day.

She is the embodiment of femme fatale. She is smart, ambitious, determined to achieve her goals, sassy, strong, sexy and just right down badass. I don't know why these traits made her a sex object, to be honest. Maybe when the character was introduced players and probably men just paid attention to her boobs and ass rather than just seeing a strong female character that can kick some ass. I hope you grew up a bit boys because, come on. Stop thinking with your dick it's fucking annoying.

The reboot didn't bother me as much as other people did because it was a new adventure and the origin story about how Lara Croft became the character we all know and love. Do I miss the old Lara? Yes of course but I would never curse the reboot. I will if they decide to keep her the way she is now.

The only problem I have with the reboot is how they took away her dual pistols, yes we had our moment with them when we killed Mathias but that was just fan service. I don't know why the bow and arrow became the default weapon so I'm praying that will change with the new games.

Also, a lot of people say in the reboot she just kills like there is no tomorrow and that just makes me laugh because she always killed the bad guys. You people seem to have forgotten Legend, Underworld and the first games. She kills or lures people into traps. Stop being crybabies for a sec and use your fucking brain to think.

Now this picture has caused a lot of problems among the fans. They say she looks like a man and honestly I don't see that. The only thing they took away are her lips. A bit of redesign is needed, I'm not gonna lie. If they want us to call this version Lara Croft but overall it's not a bad design. I still see Lara Croft and something tells me that this version will be closer to the OG version agewise and mentality-wise. I'm excited. I hope they don't fuck up the story though by going woke. And please bring back her lips.

And now I'm diving into the Netflix series, I'm excited about the series but that design is a no-no, a lot of people call it "Butch lesbian" or whatever that means and I hope they changed it fast because, as I said, Lara Croft is not a butch lesbian, she a femme fatale. So let's keep that in mind Netflix. Even the 2013 reboot was closer to the original design than the other two games.

And I'm gonna say it, I don't want them to make her a lesbian. I just don't, her sexuality shouldn't be the thing we grab on like moths to a flame but I don't want to make her a lesbian. I don't care if I get hate for this, you have your opinion, I have mine. I hope the writers and the audience leave her sexuality alone because that's not what Lara Croft is. She is an adventurer, a survivor, a femme fatale and a woman that takes shit from no one. Those are the characteristics we should focus on and not her sexuality.

Also I see that nowadays that's all what people care about in characters and you people can fuck off. If making your sexuality your whole personality is your thing and for some reason you want to push that to everyone and everything then stay the fuck away from people because you are being an annoying asshole. And everyone around you sees you that way so allow me to say it to you because they won't.

Anyway, next!

I really miss the gymnastic stuff we were doing in the old games, it was fun rolling and doing acrobatics so I hope they finally bring this back and the Croft Manor level! OH I LOVED THE CROFT MANOR!!! I was role-playing while playing. Like Lara had a routine before leaving for a mission and so on. And I have missed changing outfits. Legend has won in that department for me. Actually, Tomb Raider Legend is at the top of my list of favourite video games. I just love it!

I hope the next gen of Tomb Raider games brings us back the Lara Croft we all know and love and grew up with and were inspired by.

One day we will get our Lara Croft back.

[firespirited]

Vesper 2022 aka Vesper Chronicles in french. 2/10 abysmal, truly abysmal except for a few plant designs.

I kept getting déjà vu, certain I'd seen this film before. I probably have seen every single dystopia cliché and the decor/colour grading was so familiar. I could have told you it was franco-belgian with a large influence from something eastern though wouldn't have guessed lithiuanian, I was thinking polish or serbian. Obviously it's unrelentingly grimdark.

Spoilers and spoilers for Prospect 2018 at the end. Readmore for long ramblings.

There are two not actually sexual assaults that are filmed as if they were. General worst of humanity instead of people working together type film. By the time we'd drudged through multiple tropes I really dislike, I hated everyone involved in this film except the girl and i hope they don't work again. Hateful film that will crush a bit of your inner spark.

// I get the impression a lot of the reviewers who'd seen this on netflix had not been exposed much to european cinema: it has all the grime and gore of a classic olden times tale with some interesting plants. Please go watch La Cité des Enfants Perdus which has an actual soul at the heart of the green grime. We have dozens of films and tv shows that look like this 'unique' world. //

The world building falls flat as soon as you consider anything concrete: the food must come from harvests but where, clothes must come from animals and looms but where? The plants are carnivorous but how are they alive if there's nothing to feed on. It's just fitting your worldbuilding to look cool for a plot device: lady's plane crashes, she's found being eaten by plants and it looks gnarly. Beyond that? Plot device for plot sake, circular logic.

I could list twenty other similar bad writing moments most of them for pivotal scenes.

The film takes the path of consistent suffering and bleakness until it's implied that the world might be different from now on.

I decided to watch this film blind after seeing it on a list of recent female directed films. I assumed it was american or british. Big mistake!

You can expect about 75% of certain european female writer directors to be 'one of the boys', leaning in to more gross out, ultra violence or sexual content. They are the type to sign polanski support letters and hire actors disgraced in the USA.

It's hard to describe in terms non western continental europeans will understand. It's empowerment feminism meets white feminism but stuck around 1968 not 2006 with sexual attitudes that embrace teens with adults, not sane and consensual bdsm, lots of long debunked Freud.

They make films even better than the boys for sure but it's not remotely feminist in both what is depicted and what is inflicted on the female viewer. You could say at least we get female protags but the 'empowerment' feels more shallow than the music video for The Prodigy's Smack (spoilers for a very nsfw video: it's a lesbianbro asshole not a dudebro asshole)

Some people thought the ending implies the protag goes on to great things and I have no idea where they got that from: no leverage, no lab, no family. She has started the spark that will change the world but she'll have to find a blood broker to see the next harvest. She would have been better off with a guardian than so alone so soon with nothing to sell except blood and her eventual womb.

The few women of colour and lesbians directing or writing tend to have quite different vibes or offset bleak realities with moments of joy. (look carefully for a photo before making assumptions: born in north africa/middle east doesn't mean they aren't white and even whiter in their gaze in films set in brown or black countries)

Gay directors tend to do grimdark or sad sack rich people... just with gay sex. Uh yeah I'm not a fan of most french cinema right now but then again, that's a view shared by quite a few actresses and women who just want 2 hours of escapism.

It reminded me a lot of Prospect 2018, except despite it's deeply bleak story Prospect ends with them both having a new family unit, reason to live and partner who'll watch their back. Vesper has no-one. This was a poorly thought through initial cool concept that decided to throw every gross concept and trope against the wall, add dose after dose of misery then act like there was a happy end.

Please watch Nausicaa of the Valley of the wind for biopunk with heart, careful plotting, a designed biosphere, violence and gross bugs but always for a purpose.

[semifinel]

March - 2023

Games

Spiritfarer- I played the phone Netflix version over quite a long time but we recently canceled Netflix so I felt compelled to try finishing it. I didn’t but I got close. It is a very charming game and most of my complains would be nitpicky so I’ll just skip them.

Deep rock galactic- started playing it again with my brother and his friends, it is a good game, it has a nice gameplay loop, distinct style, and the world generation ain’t bad. Tried playing it alone when they were busy and I think that’s mind numbing.

Little nightmares- honestly disappointing. It wasn’t bad I just wish it was better. I really feel like it’s style over substance but at the same time tried to make you think there is substance. Every time I got stuck it wasn’t the fun kind of figuring out a puzzle stuck but more of a I have no idea what I’m doing wrong stuck. Still nice, heard it gets better in the sequels.

Minit- wonderful game, loved it. I just know speedruns of this game would look wild and I need to check them out.

The darkness 2- I had this game in my steam library for some reason, probably got it for free at some point. The only reason I gave it a go is because that was the topic of the something rotten podcast this month and I wanted to play along. Must be lucky that I choose the only game this far that seemed actually fun. The game has a lot of style and I’m surprised there aren’t any modem games that take inspiration from it. It does end in a note that clearly says that they thought there would be a sequel, which didn’t happen. Do I wish it was written better? Maybe. Do I wish the characters from the co op campaign weren’t racist stereotypes? Yes.

Rain world- last month I said I might get it some point and I did, the world wants me dead and I fucking love slugcats so much. Wonderful game wish I died a bit less.

Sludge life- I was bored when I down loaded this, it has loads of style which I appreciate, played till I’ve gotten an ending then played a bit more and got bored. Nice game to mess around it for a few hours.

It takes two- I started playing this with a friend. The thing about this game that it’s beautiful, the mechanic are wonderful and it feels great to play, there is a lot of talent that went into this game. But man I wish the story didn’t exist. A story about divorce has potential but this ain’t it. I hate the racist book and his bright pink eyebrows, I hate both main characters they are just genuinely bad people and I wish they would stop talking. The separate parts of the game are wonderful it’s just what sticks them together that is unbearable.

Shows

The last of us- it was done and I love it and I am patiently awaiting next season. Nothing to say that hasn’t been said before me.

Ted lasso- hell yeah it’s finally back I missed him so much.

Comics

My lesbian experience with loneliness- this effected me so hard in a way I can’t explain nor will I ever share with anyone online.

Fence- Started it on a whim, love it so much that I got upset learning it is an ongoing series and not a complete one. Ahhhhh.

Check, please!- I know it’s popular and I kinda started and abandoned it years ago, after reading fence I wanted more queer sports comics and it came to mind, it is cute, maybe too cute for my taste but I can see why it has such a name.

Books

חופש מוחלט (A liberdade total) -Pablo Katchadjian

I’ve read this in Hebrew and cannot find it in English, I thought it was entertaining and weird and absurd and I really like the absurd.

I feel like I must have forgotten something in this list but alas.

[sillsif]

↳ 8 Shows To Get To Know Me

thank you @jyuubin for tagging me! sorry it took me a while to type this up.

i have decided to pick shows that i rewatch for comfort or keep me awake at night thinking about every little detail and emotion inside. here we go!

Bones (2005 - 2017) i grew up with this show and i just love temperance brennan with my entire life. i love the smithsonians i love booth and brennan i love i love i love and i rewatched s1-s3 sooooooo many times because iykyk it just kills me in the best way everytime.

Because This is My First Life (2017) my comfort feel good kdrama. i love how this drama focused on telling the stories of three women fighting for their dreams, and how every one of them had their own definition of happiness. oh i feel so much for the three of them and i love love love their love interests too. such a well-written show.

The Good Place (2016 - 2020) another comfort and feel good show. the good place is fun, intelligent, and most importantly, kind. it came out during a time when we all needed that reassurance: that things can be changed. things can be better. things SHOULD be better. WE should be better, and we CAN be. i'd even say it's another version of everything everywhere all at once's philosophy. it also has chidi anagonye, the love of my goddamn life.

First Kill (2022) if i were a zombie ♪ i'd never eat your brains ♪ a lesbian vampire x hunter show that got fucking cancelled by netflix bc netflix hates lesbians. i miss them sorely. this show was fun and intriguing, it has the right tone for teenage romance — dramatic and heart-wrenching. the cast is incredibly charming — gorgeous women from mothers to daughters and beautiful men too. talia burns you are everything.

Racket Boys (2021) coming-of-age sports kdrama. i had a visceral reaction to insol when he [redacted] and then i had a mini phase where i had intense brainrots over haesol ( haekang x insol ) which in retrospect is sorta like me with palmchopper. you get what i mean? i still love insol very much and i still have brainrots about them in fact i'm looking at my gifsets right now.

The Get Down (2016 - 2017) I WILL NEVER FORGIVE NETFLIX FOR CANCELLING THIS SHOW. the get down was about the bronx and the beginning of hip hop. ezekiel figuero and shaolin fantastic. mylene. dizzee kipling. i love them so much. so many iconic scenes and lines. justice smith has remained one of my fave actors since then.

Better Call Saul (2015 - 2022) i watched this show during the airing of its final season bc it was all on netflix and i did not expect how easily i grew attached. i watched breaking bad a long time ago and never thought too much of saul goodman the funny lawyer, so i didn't rush to watch bcs when it first aired. but damn how glad i am to have binged it when it delivered its finale too. incredibly tight-knit and immaculate in writing and filming. the details are so intricate it's almost impossible to pull off but they managed. it's quite heavy from time to time, and such a tragedy too. but that's the story. and it does get the ending it deserved. i can say it's the best written tv show i've seen with such a long run.

Scissor Seven (2018 - ) happy, feel good, comfort show. it's a chinese animated series with a lot of canto humour, which just hits home for a canto like me. it follows the regular shounen anime formula but with less self-importance. it's just about a guy who wants to live a good life with people he cares about on this island he calls home. well, with the past coming back for his life.

tagging anyone interested!

[skippy-reads]

•Reading Wrapped 2024•

Books read: 65

Below the cut will be my top 5 Best, Worst and Most Boring Reads!! Enjoy :)

Best:

Exquisite Corpse • William Joseph Martin

I was initially hesitant to read this, because I had a few hangups on the premise. I support queer people making art of their experiences in whatever way they decide it needs to be made, and I'm a sucker for splatterpunk. I fucking LOVE this book. I can't really articulate why I love it so much, sometimes it's borderline campy with it's gore and shock value, and sometimes it really punches you in the gut and makes you have sympathy for absolute monsters like Andrew and Jay. I adored every page of this, and can't say much more about it. I also can't stress enough, READ THE TRIGGERS, my dm's are open or you can find them online, and THEN read it. Unless you know you have a high threshold, I would discourage going into this blind. I'm not your mom though, if you want a campy, nasty gorefest, this is a GREAT book.

I've Been Thinking of Ending Things • Ian Ried

This was put on my list by a YouTuber I watch consistently. Someone had asked his favorite thing on Netflix, and he said this movie, though he liked the book better. After consuming both, I have to agree! The book is a lot sneakier, the sense of dread and confusion hit me harder in the mystery department, whereas the movie just feels chaotic and more on the Thriller genre. Maybe theyre meant to be taken in together and not independently, but having read the book THEN watching the movie, I thoroughly enjoyed both, but the book is just. Better. I can't talk much about the plot because it's just that kind of story, but the audiobook was so good!!!

Migrations • Courtney McConaghy

Judging by the reviews, this book is very polarizing. It seems that you either love it or hate it, and that all hinges on if you like the protag and relate to/sympathize with her. I love Franny and subsequently loved her story here. Migrations is about a woman finding her will to live again after a life of mental illness and trauma over the backdrop of a suicide mission to Antarctica for some birds. Franny is a complicated woman who makes reckless decisions but her internal dialogue reveals a bleeding heart that just WANTS LOVE AND AHH. A lot of the 1-star reviews for this book were about the lack of 'scientific realism' and to that I say, "go read a non-fiction then." Migrations is about characters and relationships and experiences, it tells you exactly the right amount of information without overloading you with details. The prose especially was so SO good; despite a book set primarily on frozen oceans or otherwise cold climates, I always felt warmed by the simple way the story is told.

Dykette • Jenny Fran David

I am at the perfect time in my life to read this. This was EVERYTHING I wanted the Ashley Herring Blake books to be, Blake WISHES she wrote this. She wishes she could capture true sapphic connection, deconstruct gender and sexuality in the unique way that lesbians do it, giving femmes the spotlight they deserve, she WISHES. Dykette has particularly interesting things to say about femme lesbians and their place in the lesbian ecosystem. It's funny, it's sexy, it's modern and contemporary, it makes actual efforts into representation of different kinds of lesbians. This is the first book I've ever read that has a he/him lesbian *as a main character* as well as a black they/them lesbian!! All contained in a quirky slice-of-life, set over the course of a Christmas getaway with an older butch/femme couple. I legitimately believe that every sapphic owes it to themselves to read this if you want a fun time.

The Honeys • Ryan La Sala

You all here already know how much and why I love this book! Check out the review I wrote for it in my other posts!

Worst:

Actually only 4 this year!! Teehee

The Last House on Needless Street • Catriona Ward

Dumb. Dumb book. I had issues with it from the very beginning, because spoiler, this book does a complete 180 at about the halfway point. It *starts* with a serial killer who's kidnapped a girl, and has a cat, with a side story about the little girl's sister hunting her down, taking justice into her own hands and riding into the sunset with her in tow. Lauren/Lulu is our girl in question, and the extent of her injuries and scars are described in shocking, grotusque detail. It's really the only horror in the whole book if you don't count "mental illness scary" as horror. It's revealed that the cat, Olivia, is an alter in Lauren's head, that Lauren has DID and uses Oliva to cope with the abuse. It's revealed even later that Lauren AND Olivia are alter's in THE KILLER'S head, Ted, and HE has DID as a result of his mother's extreme abuse. Why does Lauren look like a melted candle with no function in her legs?? You'd have to ask Ted and the stupid British woman that decided to write this. I wish I could get into everything I hate about this book, but at that point, it would just go on skippy-reads. The only enjoyment I really got from this was any chapter narrated by Olivia, just because I like her and the interjection of gay christian cat antics.

The Patient • Jasper Dewitt

I wish I could go back to whatever video or forum post or even human person who recommended this to me and personally UN recommend it. I'm already tired of the 'reddit story turned book' genre, if you can call it that (yes, I've read Penpal. No, it did not impress or even entertain me) but The Patient pairs that genre/trope with an utter disgusting amount of ableism towards mentally ill people. I wanted to stop reading at every moment, every time a new chapter started, I had to convince myself to keep going and finish it, only through pure stubbornness did I manage. Nothing anyone does at any point makes any fucking sense, nobody makes the decisions that a normal rational person would do, and the ENDING ugh GOD. Knowing what the story is, what it's about, how it ends, I can confidently say that The Patient was a waste of my fucking time. I can only recommend this book if you have ~4 hours to kill and literally nothing else in the world to do. Even still, I may choose to stare blankly at a wall than pick this up again.

Piercing • Ryu Murakami

There's a chance that my opinion of it is skewed bc this was my only form of entertainment while getting my entire chest stabbed continuously for 3 hours, but this was such an annoying story. Unnecessarily grotesque and near constant depictions of child abuse, both physical and sexual, thats being shoved right into your eyeballs while Things Kind Of Happen around two extremely mentally unwell characters. And, no, the mentally ill people are not treated as people, surprising I know. The actual story taking place is interuppted by far too many flashbacks, all of which are the child abuse I just mentioned. Chiaki and Kawashima both take great care to remind us of how unstable they are, how terrible their childhoods were and the horrible things they want to do to each other, that's it, that's the book. Yes, the whole thing, it doesn't even have a proper ending or resolution, the PURPOSE of Kawashima's actions and the story as we know it doesn't even get resolved. It just ends. There were things I liked about it, it kept my attention (a feat in and of itself for an ADHD+dyslexic reader) and I did feel the dread and fear when I was supposed to, but the book as a whole was just not very well executed.

Iris Kelly Doesn't Date • Ashley Herring Blake

Check out my review of this one on this blog! It sucked oh it sucked so bad!

Most Boring

Joyland • Steven King

I'm sometimes tempted to put this in my Bad category, but there were significant parts that I did enjoy. This story can't seem to decide which is more important, the horror aspect or the slice of life. We slip and slide around between the two, so the pacing sort of goes from "dumb teenager going through dumb teenager things while working at an amusement park but it's the 70's so I guess it's cool automatically" to "boring murder mystery with a blink and it's over resolution." I liked the mother character and her son, weird that he's randomly psychic but it IS Steven King, so I'm not that surprised, and a disability rep that I didn't find horribly offensive, but my opinion on that front doesn't really mean all that much, so take that as you will! Overall, bland but palatable. I liked Misery better.

You've Lost a Lot of Blood • Eric LaRocca

I liked LaRocca's other book, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke, my only actual complaint is that the characters are a little cartoon-y and it's too short, but this one? Oh my God. Not a single character feels like a human being. It sort of benefits being Half Fake, in that the story itself is a book written by our MC, and that story is boring and I didn't care for it. The book in the world I live in written by Eric LaRocca, is kind of funny in some aspects. The main character feels like if James Somerton wrote a book and then someone else wrote a book about that. A highlight was the protag in the MC's fake story, the older sister character, and her arc with her little brother. It had set up, climbing action, and pay off, but we're intentionally left without a satisfying resolution, which was kind of fun. LaRocca could've done better with the rest of the book, though.

Haunted • Chuck Palahniuk

I knew what this was going into it, and it makes sure anyone else would too, upon the second chapter, Guts. I love this genre, but there's nothing that kills me more than when an author just doesn't know what they're doing. This particular work by Palahniuk and also the works of Aron Beauregard are my examples of how NOT to do splatterpunk, just collections of short stories that check off all the grossest and most disturbing things while neglecting to tell an actually compelling story. By the end of Haunted, I was reading the goriest stories I'd ever laid eyes on, and begging for it to just end before I died of boredom. Also, I hate when stories have SA just for shock value, especially the likes of which are present here.

First to Die at the End • Adam Silvera

Where do I even begin. What a boring, tepid, unremarkable, sometimes actively infuriating read. The audiobook made it so much worse, both actors for Valentino and Orion sounded like auditory cardboard, and sometimes the writing is so bad, so cliche I feel like I'm owed one smack on Adam Silvera's head. It would be a hilarious hate-read if I didn't love the first book and its characters so much. I literally don't even remember how it ends specifically, because I just can't get the part where Valentino died at exactly 9:11pm out of my fucking HEAD. Orion's haunted by the events of Sept. 11 (yes, really) because his parents were lost in the trajedy. It's his only personality trait besides his heart condition and that he writes as a hobby. The specificity of such a prominent character trait made me wonder if Silvera had such trauma. I had to investigate, but no, he didn't. He was just in New York when 9/11 happened and was troubled by the what-if's. How tragic, I won't be reading anything by him again unless the madness (morbid curiosity) takes me again.

Into the Drowning Deep • Mira Grant

Seventeen Hours. 448 pages. 38 chapters. This book dragged and slogged like nothing else I've read thus far. Usually I'm fully onboard with mermaids, if a book has mermaids, I'm there. Most of the first half is establishing the many side characters that are going to die in stupid ways anyway, and precisely none of them are interesting enough to carry even a single page. The biology jargon just slides off my brain, the final twist was so incredibly stupid, it felt like Grant just woke up in the middle of the night and wrote it down without thinking of how to fit it into the story at all. I was entertained by the poaching couple because they were hilarious. They'd be much funnier if Grant didn't feel the need to remind us every single time who they are and what their motivations are, and if the person who read this to me didn't put on such a terrible Australian accent. I had some issues with the disability rep here that I'm not gonna get into bc it's not really my place, but I wish Grant could've been more creative with naming the three sister characters. Hally, Holly and Heather? Really? I couldn't keep these names straight to save the life of me.

Honorable Mentions

My Husband • Maud Ventura

Weyward • Emilia Hart

Waif • Samantha Kolesnik

I'll See You Again • Jackie Hance

Pitbull: The Battle over an American Icon • Bronwen Dickey

Black Water Sister • Zen Cho

Your Emergency Contact is having an Emergency • Chen Chen

Raptor Red • Robert T Bakker

The Only Good Indians • Stephen Graham Jones