#netflix can u pay ur people please

[maxmayfieldghostwrotethis]

byler getting murray'd? argyle'd? vecna'd? what about byler getting WRITTEN

[mylove-thresher]

(😨 no! This cannot be! Our reputation will be cooked!/j)

ah ah jittereen had the no face starter pack that’s crazy 😭😭😭😭😭

I guess that’s right but I am flabbergasted, discombobulated, shocked, speechless, disconcerted and whatever else the Oxford dictionary has 😭

OMG I remember when they took down like all of the Pokémon games like Pokémon fighters and brick bronze bc of a guy that was the son of my parents friends who let me watch him play 😭. I wanted to play so bad but cuh was older than me so he took that to his advantage and acted superior 💔. I remember how bad bacon heads got tortured like nowadays people dgaf anymore idk why back then it was such a huge thing like ok u have robux but that’s it 😭. (My municipality dgaf ab shi I don’t think they’d do anything ab it and even the one I lived in before didn’t have anything good in library so I just accepted to give up 💀) YES THATS WHAT I MEAN LMAO and sometimes there’s manga that has images on both sides so I’m like??? What side.

I literally was a Caesar kinnie but honestly my kins are all over the place (the entire fucking torture dance trio??? How the fuck do I kin them all there has to be something completely wrong w me) so. Idk no more. 💔 I actually never got into vld even tho it looked kewl? Like I wanted to watch it but I was tryna act tough bc my dad was watching it (he watches everything on Netflix idk) and he was gonna tease me for getting me into it and I’m too prideful to let that happen 😔

tbh is there a better dude than Bucciarati? Polpo prob chose favourites. So I agree. Realest hc ever fr ‼️‼️‼️ Im pretty sure Bucciarati got into the mafia when he was like. Maybe a few years over 13. He still looked like a twig in jojo years. So he def went thru the worst to learn and earn his position. He should’ve been at the club 💔/ref

tbh I just go on twitter to like or reblog 😭 I don’t have any oomfs, I don’t speak to anyone, just peacefully liking art and funny shit. The lifestyle. (I thought ab posting art but then I was like… do I really like twitter that much… more than tumblr… nah… my moots aren’t there…)

honestly most social interactions drain me esp at home and at school my friends can be in a bad mood or do shit (I’m actually Responsible™️ and Respectful™️ and a Law Abiding Citizen™️ at school) and it drains me even more. I just wanna. Lay down on the fuzzy floor of the amphitheater thingie we have. And sleep. But sometimes when keel stuff happens I get pumped with the Social Juice™️ (until it wears off an hour later and I get tired.)

LITERALLY THIS IS WHY I STOPPED YAPPING AB JJBA AND STUFF TO MY FRIENDS BC THEY DONT LISTEN TO SHIT 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I remember last year I was watching part 5 w my friend every dinner and like midway thru p5 she said that she wasn’t paying attention. Look at me rn and be fr. And I get that sometimes I get rlly exited and just yap a lot but. Vro please I listen to u listen to me too 💔. (Also execute ur friend the guillotine for thinking that mista=fugo./j) (it’s probably the results u found 😭 it’s an item in regretevator (Roblox) that basically fills up ur screen w glaggle stuff (smiley faces) and is super overwhelming (in a good way. Makes me feel silly.) (go on the regretevator wiki if you want an image lolz 😭))

You should totally ramble to me about ships you like :3 However many you like I’m just curious uwu

(I didn’t answer this as soon as I got it bc I was thinking about what to say lolz 😭)

tbh I like most ships as long as it’s not problematic or I find them weird/that they don’t have much chemistry. I also don’t mind poly or platonic ships (duh). I’d be sitting here all day yapping ab the ships I like/am okay w bc frankly it doesn’t have to strictly be character A X character B, I think it could also be character A X character C, etc. as long as it’s not any wrong. I won’t be going apeshit(/neg) over ships that I don’t like as much or have like a 2 year age gap. I mean, I think it starts to get weird when there’s 4 years of difference. I think people do too much when they hate on less popular ships smh if it’s nothing weird then let ppl have fun w their little kitty witties smh 😞

Huge yapping starts here vvv

Some ships I like tho r a lot of Ghibli movie couples in general bc they’re just super cute and I love the writing Ghibli does for its characters (I want what they have.). I also like Yukito/Yue X Touya and Syaoran X Sakura from CCS but that doesn’t mean I don’t also like Tomoko X Sakura (pretty sure Tomoko implied to like her anyway). I also like some other side ships from CCS but I barely remember their names bc it’s been so long since I’ve watched it and Netflix took it down 💔. CCS ships r cute in general I think, I’ve never seen any problematic ship (except that one girl X her fucking teacher. Pookie. You’re like 13. Don’t date ur teacher. And she was so pretty too bro why did they make her a questionable character 😭). And now. Getting to jjba my beloved. Since I unfortunately focus so so so much on p5 those are the only ships I’ll yap ab 😢. Huge honorable mention to Jonathan X Erina (jonaeri) tho they’re super cute together even if a lot of ppl said they barely have screen time and stuff :3. Anyway. Part 5. I honestly don’t care much about ships in la squadra as long as they had some form of interaction y’know (I don’t pay too much attention to La squadra anyway 💔). Usually ppl get really divided when it comes to Bucci gang ships tho. Honestly I’d rather see them all as a friend group that see each other as siblings to avoid all that shipping, but I admit I really like some pairings, like fugonara, bruabba, giotrish, futrish, naratrish, etc. I really don’t mind it that much (I don’t rlly ship mista w anyone bc I just don’t think there’s anybody matching his freak 😭). I mainly ship fugonara as you can see just bc to me it makes a lot of sense even if I also see them under platonic light. If there’s fugo, there’s narancia, and if there’s narancia, there’s fugo. I just find that rlly cute :3. I also like their backstories and how they tie together and the narancia death scene ripped my heart out in the anime so (IM CRYING AGAIN JUST FROM THINKING AB IT STOP 💔). Again that doesn’t mean I dislike the other ships, I just don’t pay much attention to them or think they had as much chemistry or time together. I love seeing my fave characters tho, so it’s not like I won’t like the content if there’s like gionara or something. Honestly I like seeing ppl have fun w their cutie patooties as long as it’s not too controversial, once again. It’s rlly a shame that ppl can jump at each others throat bc they disagree on a mere ship. It’s literally not gonna alter your life. Also, bc I say a ship some bucci gang characters doesn’t mean I don’t also ship them platonically. (I’ll type it like it’s ao3 tags lolz. Pretty sure & instead of / is for platonic, right?) I rlly like Narancia&Mista&Fugo (torture dance trio is literally the best friendship ever to me bc wdym you did a coordinated dance w ur homies to torture someone that’s so cool). There are also a few others, but they don’t come to mind rn (and there’s a f,y in my room annoying me.) You know what I think I gave jjba way too much attention. I also like Mimi X Sheshe (my fav lesbians fr 😍) from mermaid melody pichi pichi pitch. They tried censoring them by making them “sisters”, but they were blatantly and very obviously lesbians. Like vro. They are touching each other so homoerotically and have complimenting colours. And I think that’s most of it…

I don’t wanna make this any longer than it is so um. Yeah. This was a ramble. I didn’t realize it was so long lolz. But yeah it’s basically that :3

[thokage-archive]

Y’ALL WANNA GUESS WHAT I’M DOING TONIGHT??

Sleeping!!! Goodnight!!! it's beddy-bye time binches!! Can’t be looking this beautiful if I’m pulling all-nighters to watch a show about some teenagers in space piloting some magical psychic mecha lions!

Lance would understand!!!!! Netflix is eternal!! I’ll watch it tomorrow! Have fun depriving yourself of a healthy sleep schedule and knowing wtf is up with Zarkon’s ugly ass a whole 6 hrs ahead of me!! Goodluck!!!

[incorrect-nielwoon]

Daniel: what do you all do to relax after a tough day?

Jaehwan: dramatically serenade myself in the mirror.

Jisung: puzzles.

Jihoon: eat a cookie! and when I'm feeling dangerous... I eat a second cookie.

Sungwoon: I usually go and sit on a surface that isn't meant to be sat on, because when tomorrow comes I will be faced with even more challenges... and I am too overwhelmed to be worrying about what is and is not a chair.

Daniel: Sungwoon, I was feeling good today.

[trixabke]

Heyy, can I ask for a Haikyuu matchup please? I saw your post and I thought that it would be actually cool to do.

My personnality is ISFP-T,my zodiac sign is Leo, my pronouns are she/her and I’m straight. I’m a black girl and my height is 5’7, I have 4c black hair and dark brown eyes, I wear glasses. My general style is more like jogging, crop top and jordan, or a cargo and an oversized t shirt. And, from time to time, my style is more like « a baddie ».

About my personality, I’m an ambivert (mix of introvert and extrovert). I’m most introverted and shy with strangers but goofy and dynamic with people I’m comfortable with but I'm quite stubborn and sarcastic. I am known to my friends as « the person who laughs every day and for nothing ». I’m « adventurous » funny and I love to « be chill ». I also know to be serious when it is necessary. I can easily stand up for myself like when something/someone is bothering me I immediately say it (and put people in their place sometimes..) and don’t necessarily need people to help me with this ( but it sometimes depends on the situation).I really like to cuddle, watch Anime/Netflix, just chill and listen to RNB/ US Rap. And finally, I’m collected but have a certain attitude. All that doesn't mean that i'm not polite and respectful because i really am.

IMy ideal type would be someone who would be a little bit more mature than me and « clingy ». He would match my energy and we’d look like bestfriends and a couple at the same time. He would be sarcastic too but protective.

That’s it I think ! I’m honestly sorry if it’s too long, but thank you very much and have a great day ! <3

HII! u did perfect angel <3 (I googled some stuff on ur personality type so if I mention something and u didn't say it I got it from google and if its wrong ... I will be embarrassed)

I'm rlly happy u asked for one! and I'm so sorry if this is short I tried to make it as long as I could

MATCHUPS OPEN!

(romantic)

I match you with...

SUNA:

you guys probably met in like the weirdest way..

like imagine ur turning on netflix, opening your account, about to click your profile and there is another random profile

and ur like tf??

so u delete the random profile and continue on with ur night just wanting to cuddle up under some blankets

and the next day you come home ready to relax in your comfy bed and the profile is back again

this happens like a few more times and eventually you find out it’s this guy names Suna?

atsumu was probably fucking around and found ur acc and gave it to suna because he was too lazy to pay for his subscription

after some minor communication you get sunas number and tell him not to use your account anymore

although you both aren't great at conversations at the start overtime u become more comfortable around each other 

BUT he ends up really enjoying talking to you and says he will pay u the money for the subscription if he can use your account 

monthly payment = more excuses to talk to u

(just pretend for a second there isn't a possibility he could be like a creepy old man or a scammer that could take all of your private info ok?? this is for the sake of romance not logic)

you change the password and then make it a joined account

he confesses to you by making another profile on the account saying that he likes you (atsumus idea cringe ik)

you guys end up going out for a couple dates and the rest is history

the sarcastic energy would be just *chefs kiss*

u bring out all the snarky comments he hides in his head

probably mumbles something under his breath about kita that has u both laughing ur asses off

everyone else in the group just staring at u like ??

obsessed with your glasses

he likes that you're on the taller side

(feeds his ego that he is still taller)

you wanted clingy?? ur getting it with suna

he really likes to sleep and LOVES to fall asleep on you

he really doesn't care what ur doing

he’ll make it work

texts 24/7 of just random shit

he really likes doing simple things with you like grocery shopping or late night snack trips

very chill vibes, everything is super low-key

a lot of go with the flow dates and just seeing what happens

he’s happy with anything as long as he gets to spend it with you

he loves that you're not afraid to speak ur mind and tell people no

despite that he is always very gentle with you and your emotions

and because he's not super talkative he's a great listener

if ur ever upset he will just listen and hug u to make u feel better

silence speaks volumes!!

even if you're not talking, all he needs is your presence to feel complete

overall a very sweet calm relationship!

as always, if u see any spelling errors no u didn’t ..

LOVE YOU GO DRINK SOME WATER, EAT SOME FOOD, AND HAVE A GOOD DAY (NIGHT?)

[miekasa]

bye ok i literally cant get this out of my head i have to tell someone but. eren is 1000% the type of guy who watches shit like man vs food or those youtube videos of guys filiming themselves in a restauraunt eating like 3 huge burgers in 5 minutes u know what im talking about? yeah . n he obviously thinks they r so cool and talented and hilarious and u just want to watch netflix but hes like "babe wait just one more pleaseeee" acting all sad and u just sigh and agree bc u know u have no choice . ANYWYAYYS please add more to this if u feel like it i want to hear ur thoughts *swings feet*

This makes so much sense bye. He’s definitely obsessed with those man vs food challenges, and also TV shows that show super expensive foods or just super huge desserts even if nobody’s challenged to eat them. He watches mukbang videos on YouTube too and always says he wants fo have his own, to which you have to humble him and remind him that he cannot cook and that you’re not paying his UberEats bill. He’s also convinced he could finish those impossible challenge burgers in 30 mins flat 🙄🙄

Eren is definitely a sucker for food challenge shows in general, he fucking loves the Food Network; but not for the “educational” or tutorial shows, he likes the competition ones. You know he’s all about Chopped and he’s on the edge of his seat when the time is running out and he’s sweating like HE’S in the competition. He’s got opinions too, “Babe, can you believe he used the blueberries as a GARNISH? He didn’t even transform the ingredient, I can’t believe they didn’t chop him!! Not to mention that was definitely an entree sized meal for an appetizer round—don’t you agree???” Don’t even get started on Hell’s Kitchen with him, he’s calling people donuts after two episodes.

He doesn’t like baking shows as much because even tho he thinks making pretty/detailed cake sculptures is cool, he’s convinced the cakes themselves taste like shit and he wouldn’t wanna eat “99% fondant.” Cupcake/Halloween Wars is the exception tho, because Eren gobbles up almost anything Halloween themed.

[jungshookz]

ok but like what if jungkook and y/n are at a hockey match and a kiss cam lands on them but they're both strangers

➺ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

➺ genre: biRTHDAY-themed fluff that is so utterly sweet you will undoubtedly get like ten cavities after reading this; tae demolished a whole serving of cheesy fries and he’s not feeling so good mr stark; namjoon & y/n bond over the fact that they just don’t get hockey   

➺ wordcount: 4.6k

➺ note: happy birthday to the man that not only owns my heart but also my whOLE ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my goD i love him!!!!!!!!!!!! u ruin my life but also make it ten times better!!!!!!!!

(gif isn’t mine!)

                                      ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“remind me again why jimin couldn’t come with you instead?” you scowl when someone bumps into you from behind and you instinctively reach down to pull your purse to your front

…what??

you haven’t cashed in your latest paycheque and you don’t want anyone steaLing your hard-earned money

you stumble into tae’s back when someone knocks into you again

you would think that people would have the common decency to be a little more polite but no

this is so not your scene

plus you saw an army of ants feasting on the carcass of a cockroach in the washroom and you immediately hightailed it ouT of there

your bladder is just going to have to wait til you return to safety of your own toilet

tae told you he’d be happy to chug down a gallon of soda and give you the cup to pee in and you nearly considered it because that would probably be cleaner than the washrooms here

“because- yeah, two forks, please - because he had some dumb work thing that he couldn’t skip out on and i wasn’t going to waste my front row tickets!” tae scoffs as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world

well

that’s fair, you suppose

“you really couldn’t invite anybody else? i was your next choice?” you cling to the back of tae’s jersey because everyone keeps shoving into you and you feel like you’re going to be carriEd away by a hoard of sweaty hockey fans if you don’t hold on to something

you don’t mean to sound ungrateful because it is really nice of taehyung to have invited you to this apparently suPer big-deal of a hockey game (you’re pretty sure the fans here would rip each other apart to get their hands on a front row ticket) but like ?///???

you aren’t exactly a super enthusiastic sports person

sure, you’ll watch a couple matches if it’s on the tv while you’re cleaning up your apartment or if you just need some noise in the apartment but it’s not something that you actively seek out to watch

if anything you’re 100% more likely to watch spongebob squarepants over a sports game

you just don’t see the appeal of watching grown men (anD women! ur a feminist! girls are great!) gliding around on ice clickity-clacking a tiny puck here and there with wooden sticks while very aggressively shOving into each other at the same time  

also the names of the hockey teams are always so dumb

you could probably come up with a better hockey team name because all you have to do is pick an adjective and then pick an animal

the screaming giraffes

the wailing whales

the condescending toads

you would pay good money to watch a match between the screaming giraffes and the wailing whales

you’re not sure if the condescending toads would make a good name now that you think about it  

“aw, c’mon! it’s not like you had any other plans, anyways.” tae raises a brow at you and you immediately scoff

he has a good point.,.,., but stiLL

“i totally had plans!”

“ordering a party sized serving of chicken alfredo and garlic bread and watching netflix doesn’t count as plans.”

…okay anoTHer good point

the seats that you guys got are actually pretty good

you’re located right in the middle so you get an equal view of the goal on the right and the goal on the left

it’s not like you’re going to be paying attention to the game but still

very nice!

“can you believe we only had to pay $5 for all of this?” tae laughs lightly in disbelief as he rubs his hands together and looks down at the foot-long hot dog sitting on his lap

“…it should be concerning that we got all of this for $5.” you mutter under your breath and stare down at the plastic-looking cheese smothered over the fries

you told tae not to go overboard with the food but of course he didn’t listen to you which is why you guys are sharing a foot-long chilli cheese dog anD an extra large order of chilli cheese fries and a slurpee served in a literal bucket

usually you’d be down to inhale all of this but uh

you don’t want to sound snooty or anything but you saw one of the employees accidentally drop an entire bag of cheese into the pot before quickly fishing it out with their bare hands and you’re pretty sure that’s a health code violation

you mentioned it to tae and he said it wasn’t a big deal and- well, he’s already starting to scarf down the hot dog

side note

these fries are actually really good

you stab a few more of them with your fork before shovIng the biteful into your mouth and gently dabbing some cheese sauce off your chin with your napkin

just because you’re starving doesn’t mean all your manners are going to fly out the damn window

you didn’t eat breakfast this morning so this is a great first meal

“vou know what fhe beft part iv of sitting in the front?” tae asks through a faT mouthful of hot dog and you immediately wince in respond

men are disgusting

“what?” you reach over to wipe tae’s mouth with a napkin because both his hands are occupied by the almost offensively large hotdog

he swallows his bite before licking some chilli from the corner of his mouth

again

men are disgusting

“sometimes the hockey players get sLammed right up against the protective shield right in front of us.” tae gestures to the clear plastic panels separating the crowd from the rink “and if you’re really lucky, you get to see someone lose a tooth or something!”

you immediately make a face

“wha- how is that-“

“jungkook, over here! i found our seats!” you glance over for a second when someone quite literally scReams out loud for their friend

and then you’re turning to face tae again

“as i was saying,” you pause for a brief second when tae reaches over to take the fries from you, “how the hell is that the best part about sitting in the fr-“

you jump in surprise when what feels like a whole handful of popcorn suddenly scatters down on your head and onto your lap

oh coMe ON

you just washed your hair this morning!!!!!

the crumbs are going to look like you have veRy bad dandruff

also this is heavily buTTERED popcorn which means that the grease stains on your jeans are probably going to be there for the rest of your life

and these jeans were expeNSIVE

>:-(

this hockey game is not a very fun experience so far

“oh shit, sorry!”

“it’s all good, it’s all good…” you mutter as you flick a kernel of popcorn off your shoulder

yep

there’s a speck of grease on your sweater

greAt

“just be careful with that drink of yours because i-“ you look up to-

o-oh

OH

oh god

oh god the popcorn guy is cute

and not just cute

he’s like.,,. he’s suPER CUTE

round brown eyes

obscenely perfectly tousled black hair

he definitely looks to be around your age which is a big fat bonus

although that colour-block hoodie of his is making him look a lot younger you still think it’s safe to say he’s probably around your age

“sorry, miss… the plastic lids here are flimsy as hell and mine keeps popping off so you can’t blame me if i get you wet!” the guy flashes you a boyish smile and you feel your mouth go dry

oh dear lord

have mercy

“hey- you want extra chilli on your half of the hot dog?” you’re rudely poPped out of your little bubble when taehyung suddenly elbows your side

“wh- what? what?” you tear your eyes away from the handsome stranger who’s making himself comfortable in the seat right next to you before clearing your throat and looking over at tae

“extra chilli!” tae chirps and raises your half of the hot dog up a little

he already finished his half which isn’t a huge surprise

to be honest he was going to just go ahead and finish the hot dog but he figured it’d be nice to at least offer you a bite

“-i even asked for an extra little container of chopped up onions because i know you like-“

“no!” you blurt out and whack the container of onions out of tae’s hand causing it to smAck against the plastic divider before clattering to the ground

the two of you blink down at it

tae purses his lips before subtly kicking as much of it as possible under his seat

“i, um, i’m actually not that hungry. you can finish the hot dog.” you clear your throat again before unscrewing the lid of your bottle of water and taking a tentative, ladylike sip

“…what are you talking about? you were going to town on those cheesy fries like five seconds ago- oW-“

“jungkook, over here! i found our seats!” jungkook perks up when he sees namjoon waving him over

aH

there he is!

he was starting to get worried that namjoon wandered off somewhere or somehow locked himself in the supply closet or something

namjoon put him in charge of snack duty and he went aLL out

popcorn? check!

roasted peanuts? double check!

blue-flavoured slurpee? triple check!

he actually ended up getting two drinks because namjoon likes to bite the straw and jungkook doesn’t want to share a drink with a straw-biter

“here, i’ll take the peanuts and my drink-“ namjoon plucks the paper bag and the plastic cup cradled in jungkook’s arms before he steps aside to let him squeeze into the aisle

namjoon actually won these hockey game tickets from a raffle at work and jungkook almost exploded with joy when he invited him to come and watch it with him

it was actually pretty perfect timing because the game just so happened to land on jungkook’s birthday

namjoon gave jungkook the best birthday present and he didn’t even have to spend a dime

:’)

“s’cuse me, sorry-“ jungkook weasels his way in between the aisles and carefully steps over people’s legs as he makes his way to his seat exciTEdly

he’s never been to a live sports game before!!!

and he’s definitely never been in the froNt row of anything before!!!!

two birds with one fAt stone!

also he-

“oh shit, sorry!” he gasps when he accidentally tips his carton of popcorn a little bit causing it to land all over the stranger seated next to his spot

shiT

there goes half his popcorn

he’s not going to go back up to the concessionary stand to get more popcorn because the game is about to start and the line is probably still half a mile long

“it’s all good, it’s all good…” jungkook winces to himself and feels his cheeks heat up a little as he watches you brush the popcorn to the ground

yikes

he’s about to sit down when suddenly you speak up again “just be careful with that drink of yours because i-“

jungkook feels his heart skip a beat when you look up at him

oh wowie you’re pretty  

…he just spilt his greasy popcorn all over a very pretty girl

double yikes

it’s fine

just play it cool

he can play it cool

“sorry…” jungkook raises his cup a little “the plastic lids here are flimsy as hell and mine keeps popping off so you can’t blame me if i get you wet!”

he immediately pales as soon as that tumbles out of his mouth

wha-

what the HELL was that?!?!?!

out of all the things he could’ve said

his three and a half brain cells came up with thAT

you can’t blame me if i get you wet???????

you probably think he’s some kind of weird peRVERT now

luckily your boyfriend starts talking to y-

huh

you have a boyfriend

of course you have a boyfriend

jungkook lets out a little huff before plopping down on the plastic seat

whatever >:-(

namjoon leans over and glances into the popcorn bag before frowning

damnit

he just wanted some popcorn

:-(

“holy shiT, did you see that backhand????” tae practically screeches as he reaches over and slaps your arm aggressively “y/n, did you see it????”

“i saw- i sAW it, i saw it!” you scowl and smack his hands away from you

“oh my god, that was legEndary-“

you can barely hear tae’s enthusiastic blabbering because all you can hear is the sound of skates shrEdding up the ice and the sound of the puck being whacked back and forth and also cheers and whOops from all of these diehard fans

you honestly have no idea what the hell is going on right now

all you know is that the two teams are tied right now and everYone’s getting frustrated

you’re not sure which team you should be rooting for so you’re just basing it off of which uniform you like better

in other words, you’re cheering on the pUrpLe team!

also no one’s been smacked up against the plastic divider yet which is a huge relief because you’re not sure if you want to see anyone lose any teeth today

“will you cut it out?? your future girlfriend probably isn’t going to appreciate it if you’re practically beating her up-“

jungkook perks up immediately when he hears that come out of your mouth

aH

so that guy isn’t your boyfriend!

nice!!!!!

that means he still has a chance even though he dumped like a pound of popcorn on you and almost drenched you in his blue-flavoured slurpee

also he didn’t mean to eavesdrop

it’s just hard noT to eavesdrop when you’re sitting right next to him

he’s been paying attention to the game because duH but also he keeps thinking about how cute u look when you have a mouthful of french fries

also

now he knows that your name is y/n which is actually pretty fitting

you look like a y/n

it’s cute!

on an unrelated note

u smell rly nice but he can’t quite put his finger on what that particular scent is

jungkook’s nose twitches

hm

“what do you mean the game isn’t over yet??” you groan and plop yourself back down in the seat “there was an intermission like half an hour ago!!!”

“there are two intermissions, you whiney baby!”  tae scowls

you need to chill

you’re acting like watching a hockey game is equivalent to getting your teeth pulled out

you’re being a bABy

if he can sit through hours and houRS of your reality tv shows you can sit through one hockey game

“so…” namjoon pauses for a second “the game… isn’t over?”

“nope! there’s one more round.” jungkook chirps and shovels a handful of popcorn into his mouth

“oh.” namjoon slumps back in his seat a little

he thought the game was over

to be honest he was ready to leave before the first intermission but jungkook looked like he was having the time of his life so he decided to wait it out  

“so what are we supposed to do now?” namjoon furrows his brows “do they just expect us to wait and do nothing?”

“well, no, they’re doing that thing where-“ jungkook immediately chokes when he suddenly sees his face on the jumbotron

and unsurprisingly

your face is also on the jumbotron

“y/n-“

“hold on, i’m about to beat my high score-“ your tongue pokes out in concentration as you focus on your very intense session of tetris

“y/n-“ tae hisses and punches your arm

“ow!” you whine and rub your sore arm

tae’s been hitting you for the duration of the whole game and you’re pretty sure your arm is about to fall off

he needs to cut it out

he knoWs you bruise like a pEACH

“-what did i tell you about hitting me???” you put your phone down and turn to glare at tae

“you’re on the- look!!!!” tae points to the front and-  

you immediately pale when you realise that yes, that is most definitely your face on the jumbotron right now, and yes, you and jungkook, the very handsome stranger that you definitely already have a crush on, are currently trapped inside of a big pinK heart with the words ‘KISS CAM’ floating on top of the heart

oh god

you can’t kiss him

you still taste like cheesy fries

and your lips are chapped

and your tongue is stained blue from the slurpee

you can’T KISS HIM

and also he’s a literal stranger but most importantly you are not in the right state to be kisSEd right NOW

“oh, no-“ you shake your head quickly before making a slicing gesture over your neck “we’re not- we’re not together!”

jungkook glances at you for a brief second and he can sEe the panic in your eyes

okay

he was down to kiss you but obviously you don’t feel the same way which is totally understandable but stiLL

oh well

he might as well join in on the protesting

“right, yeah- we don’t know each other!” jungkook shakes his hand at the camera and you flash a sheepish smile at the camera before shrugging

the crowd immediately erupts into boos and you immediately scoff before turning to face the people behind you

“excuse-” you gawk when someone has the audacity to thrOW a handful of popcorn down at you guys “-excuse you!”

you turn back to face the camera and shake your head before holding your arms up and crossing one over the other

“sorry! we’re not going to kiss!!!!!!!!”

you shoot a glare in tae’s direction when he joins in on the booing

sometimes you don’t know why you’re friends with him because he’s literally suCH a moRON

“seriously, we’re not- oh, okay-“ you let out a breath of relief when the camera moves away from the two of you

you immediately slump back in your seat

phEW

that was a close call

if ur going to kiss jungkook it’s going to be because he wantS to kiss you and noT because he’s being forCed to kiss you

“sorry about that…” he turns to look at you and you immediately perk up

“no, you have nothing to apologise for! don’t sweat it.” you laugh lightly and shake your head before digging through your purse for a stick of gum

your breath still tastes like cheesy fries and it’s not very pleasant

“i, uh, i’m jungkook, by the way.” jungkook sticks his hand out for you to shake

oh

he’s… introducing himself to you

…does that mean… he might be… interested in you…?

hM

much to think about

you take his hand gently before offering him a shy smile “i’m y/n.”

“and i’m taehyung!” tae leans over and shoots jungkook a boxy smile “i would shake your hand but my fingers are still sticky with cheese.”

your eyes flutter shut and you pinch the bridge of your nose

kim taehyung is the absolute bane of ur existence

“it’s nice to meet you guys. uh, this is-“ jungkook glances over his shoulder “this is namjoon!”

“hey, hi.” namjoon smiles politely and nods to the both of you in acknowledgement “are you guys big hockey fans?”

“i’m not, but tae is-“ you laugh lightly and namjoon’s eyes liGht up

“i’m not that big of a fan either! i honestly don’t really get it!“

“right??” you gasp in excitement because now you have someone you can actually talk to about this stuff “what’s the big deal with a group of grown men gliding around and-“

“i know!! also i always lose track of where the puck is-“

taehyung and jungkook lean back slightly to give each other the same looks of ‘do you hear what i’m hearing right now?’

“i don’t see what the point is of having two intermissions-“ you nearly jump ten feet into the air when the crowd suddenly buRsts into cheers and for a second you think it’s because the game is resuming

but nO

because take a WILD guess as to whose faces are up on the jumbotron aGAIN

“wha- are you people serious?!” you gawk as you stare at yourself at the screen

…is that really what you look like?

you look weirder when you’re up on the big screen for some reason

you don’t get a chance to dwell on the fact that people can probably see your pores from how HD the camera is because the next thing you know, the crowd is beginning to chant

“kiss! kiss! kiss! kiss!”

jungkook lets out a nervous laugh and shakes his head before reaching up to pluck at the silver hoop hanging from his ear (it’s a nervous hAbit and he is very vERY nervous right now) “sorry, we’re not going to!”

“kiSS! kiSS! kiSS! kiSS!”

“you heard the guy!” you gesture over to jungkook “we’re not doing it, you pERverts!”

it seems like the audience couldn’t give leSS of a shit because every time you and jungkook say that you two aren’T going to kiss they become more riled up

even taehyung and namjoon have joined in on the chanting

namjoon can’t help but snort when jungkook turns to look at him with briGht red cheeks

if ya can’t beat em join em!!!

“we’re going to be here all day! just move on!”

“KISS!”

“we’re not going to kiss!!!!!!!”

“KISS!”

“we don’t even know each other!”

“KISS!”

“my lips are suPer chapped!”

“KISS!”

“take a hint!”

“oh for the love of god-“ jungkook’s eyes nearly pop out of his head when you’re suddenly grabbing him by the collar of his hoodie and pulling him towards you and-

his heart stops in his chest when you press your lips against his and he immediately freezes

o god

you’re kissing him

you’re kiSsing HIM

you pull away far too soon for jungkook’s liking (it was obviously only meant to be a peck) and jungkook blinks owlishly

wha-

is that it?????

that’s all????

you are riPPING him off

“there, we kissed! are you freAKS happ-“ before you get a chance to get all smug with the camera jungkook’s yanking you back and smearing his lips over yours

the crowd now eRUPTS into cheers and screams and namjoon is literally screeching his head off next to jungkook

taehyung isn’t doing any better

he threw his half-eaten hot dog up into the aIR

and for a brief second jungkook thinks you’re going to freak out and pull away but he’s more than pleasantly surprised when you begin to kiss him back

also he figured out what u smell like and why he likes it so much

it’s because you smell like his favourite fabric softener

and if that’s not a sign that you’re basically perFect for him then he doesn’t know what is!!!!

jungkook reaches up to cup your cheek gently while your fingers curl around the nape of his neck

needless to say

you are vERy much making out with a stranger right now (your mom would probably flip if she found out) but you most definitely don’t give a hECK because jungkook’s lips are so soft and he tastes like buttery popcorn

the tiniest of whimpers slips past your lips when jungkook teases you with small brushes of his tongue against yours

he tilts his head slightly to deepen the kiss and all of a sudden you feel lightheaded and your entire body feels like jello

he’s such a good kisser that you nearly forget the fact that the two of you are making out in front of like 20,000 people right now

a smirk twitches at the corner of jungkook’s mouth when he pulls away and you immediately respond with a whine

it started off with you getting him all flustered but obviously the tables have turned because you are just putty in his hands and he knows it

“jungkook…” you sigh breathlessly as he nudges his nose against yours

oH boy

your soul definitely left your body

you’re still floating on cloud nine

meanwhile the crowd is still compLETELY losing it because they were just expecting a little pek and not THIS

“yeah?” jungkook takes his bottom lip in between his teeth as he resists the urge to lean in and kiss you again

“i think this means you have to take me out on a date now.”

“…i think you might be right.”

best

birthday

ever

:-)

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

drabble masterlist // main masterlist

[chaeryybomb]

stray kids as anime boys: bang chan [part 1] [part 2]

✎ᝰ┆bang chan as the sports captain

(feat. stray kids && some of the 97liners)

listen

this is the only role I am 100% convince chan will be in an anime

u can't change my mind ᕦ(ò_ó)ᕤ

S O let's get into it

what sports captain is he??

the question should be what sports captain is he not 

d-does that make sense?? HDHS U GET WHAT I MEAN

look chan is build™ with muscles (and brains) he's gonna use those muscles

for s p o r t s

"chan u can't join all the sports club"

“watch me felix”

ya boi tried out for every sports club available in school and he got into to every one of them

THANKFULLY felix made him reject some(most) of them bc chan already doesn't sleep enough

everyone say thank u felix

so chan is in the volleyball and basketball club

and he's the volleyball captain!!!

chan is the secret weapon lemme tell u that

his spikes?? they can BREAK A WALL

so if u see chan practicing spikes pls be careful

avoid him

avoid the gym in general

unless ur asking for a concussion SKSKS

no joke there's a dent in one of the gym's wall bc he spiked too hard

his excuse was "bambam ur supposed to block it!"

"I WAS TRYING NOT TO DIE CHRISTOPHER!!!"

so how does that apply to u dear reader

well, ur not a huge sports fan

u rather stay at home and watch netflix than go under that cursed fireball u call a sun

but yk who is a huge sports fan???

ur best friends chaeyeon and lisa!

well technically bc chaeyeon is dating jaehyun who's also on the volleyball team

and lisa swears she doesn't but obviously she's there to look at jungkook

"y/n! there's a game after school today, and you're coming with us to watch it"

"just admit u wanna look at jungkook and go"

"WITH WHAT PROOF????"

"WITH THOSE HEART EYES LALISA"

"HHHHHHH CHAEYEON, Y/N IS BULLYING ME AGAIN"

Σ(°ロ°) "WHAT DO U MEAN AGAIN??? WHO WAS THE ONE WHO PUT CHILLI PEPPERS IN MY SANDWICH HUHH LISA WHOOOO—"

mama chaeyeon saves the day, "alright children no more fighting" 

"SHE STARTED IT FIRST!"

"FIGHT ME LISA" (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ

in the spongebob narrative voice 2 hours later

u find urself in sandwiched between chaeyeon and lisa, sitting on one of the gym's bleachers

chan and the boys are down there warming up

and u can't help but drift ur gaze to a certain (crispy)blond hair boy, who's stretching at the moment

maybe u were starting too long, but lisa nudges ur elbow with a sly smirk

"ohohoho y/n, what do u see??"

u shove her elbow away and glare at her, "ur about to see my fists in a minute"

the entire game ur gaze was set on chan and u don't even know why

jokes on u reader, it was the anime magic kicking in

up until the second half of the game, u had the sudden need to go to the bathroom and who are u to deny ur bladder dhhshd

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you tell lisa and stood up to squeeze ur way out of the bleachers

ur earbuds almost burst due to all the screaming dhshhd

but hey! u successfully made it to the end

＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／

u make ur way towards the exit when u hear lisa and chaeyeon scream your name

and suddenly the world went black

y/n?? y/n??? oh my god she fuckin dead

maybe u regain conscious for a few seconds bc the last thing u remembered was a pair of feet running and the scent of someone's sweat mixed with cologne

yk the typical anime shit dhsjdjs

when u wake up, ur laying down a bed and ur in a room where u don't recognise

"holy shit y/n, you're awake! lisa go get the nurse!" chaeyeon exclaims from beside you and you hear the door close

you squint your eyes, trying to adjust from the bright light

chaeyeon's face comes into view and she has a worried expression on

"w-what happened?? where am I??" you ask she helps you sit up on the bed

"you're in the nurse's office!"

"why,,, am I in the nurse's office?" you furrow your eyebrows at chaeyeon

"well you see—"

the door slams open to reveal lisa and the nurse

"oh good, y/n you're awake," the nurse smiles at you

she walks toward you and gently grabs your chin with her gloved hand to examine your face

"fortunately nothing is broken but that's gonna leave a bruise on your forehead for a while, you took quite a hit."

"a hit???" u furrow ur eyebrows even deeper if you could sjdjsk

"yeah! you got hit by a volleyball!! you should've seen what happened, the ball went flying like WOOOSH at you and BAM u were knocked out!!" lisa explains with many hand gestures

"it was a good thing that chan boy carried you here, you were out cold," the nurse adds.

wait

Σ(゜゜) c-chan???

CHAN CARRIED YOU HERE???

u don't even notice your face starts to heat up until the nurse looks at you with concern again

she places her hand against ur forehead and says, "oh my, you're heating up, I think you got a fever coming—"

"no! no, I'm completely fine!" you reassure the nurse

you bring your hands up to your cheeks and rub it harshly and slap it a few times in hopes the redness will go away

HAH SIKE UR BLOOD SAYS NO

the nurse let's you stay in the office for awhile, thank god school was already over

lisa and chaeyeon, like the best friends they were, stayed with u and walked u back home

the next morning when u wake up—

━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━

HOLY SHIT THE NURSE WAS NOT KIDDING WHEN SHE SAID IT WAS GONNA LEAVE A BRUISE

THERE'S A HUGE ASS BUMP ON THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FOREHEAD

WHAT THE FUCK

HOW THE FUCK ARE U GONNA COVER THAT UP

U ARE THIS )( CLOSE IN CUTTING UR BANGS AT 7 IN THE MORNING JUST TO COVER UR FOREHEAD* U WOULD'VE IF UR BRAT OF A BROTHER DIDN'T KNOCK ON THE DOOR

"y/n hurry up you're gonna make us late!!"

"SHUT UP HYUNJIN I'M HAVING A MID LIFE CRISIS AT THE MOMENT"

"YOU CAN HAVE IT IN THE CAR"

in all honesty u should be thanking hyunjin for saving u from the future regrets

otw out of the bathroom u curse at hyunjin, who sticks his tongue out in return, and grab one of ur beanies from ur dresser and slip it on

"why the fuck are you wearing a beanie in the middle of summer??"

"it's called fashion hyunjin, look it up"

(hyunjin, snorting) "please, we all know I'm the fashionable one in this family"

so yes, u walk into school with a beanie on ur head, in the middle of summer

it definitely caught weird looks from people because again, why the fuck are you wearing a beanie in this heat???

it's equivalent to having a "I'm stupid" sign taped on ur forehead

u walk into class, already tired from everything and everyone and first period hasn't even started yet!

what a mood

chaeyeon looks at you weirdly and opens her mouth to ask but you stop her

"don't. a lot of people already asked," you groaned, pointing at the black beanie on your head, specifically the spot where u got hit at

chaeyeon looks at you with sympathy and pats your head

when lunch rolls on, lisa basically slams into ur classroom

"why are u wearing a beanie??"

"because I can and it's a free country!!!" u snap at her

"geez fine," lisa puts her hands up

(lisa, mumbling under her breath) "someone woke up from the wrong side of bed today"

"HEY I HEARD THA—"

"OKAAAAY let's go I wanna get pizza bread before it's gone," chaeyeon interrupts aka stopping another fight from happening by hooking her arms through yours and lisa’s* (¬､¬) hnnggg u win today jung chaeyeon

u turn to walk out of the door when u stop in your footsteps

to see the PERSON WHO CAUSE UR FOREHEAD BUMP BRENDA

YES U NAMED IT BRENDA IN THE CAR

IF SHE'S GONNA STAY ON UR FOREHEAD FOR A WHILE

AT LEAST SHE SHOULD HAVE A NAME

AND SHE'S NOT EVEN PAYING RENT

y/n's forehead:

brenda the bump: it's a free real estate

anyways

the three of u stop and stare at chan

like hullo, why u here???

chan coughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck. "um, can I speak with y/n?"

chaeyeon and lisa exchange a look and shrugs, "yeah sure," they say and pushes u out of the door

and u stumbled into his arms

again, the anime shit™ working its magic

u immediately push urself off chan and clasp ur hands behind ur back while chan takes a few steps back

"so,,," you start

"oh right! uh, I'm sorry for yesterday, hitting u with the ball and everything"

"oh! it's fine, it really is!" you assure him

"no, it's not! lemme treat you to lunch, it's the least I can do," chan says

"nononono you really don't have to!" you shake ur head at him

"please!" he begs, "I hurt you and I should do something for you"

"n—"

"JUST SAY YES" lisa yells from across the hall

you whip ur head towards her direction and flip her the bird

chaeyeon mouths an apology and drags lisa away, but her laughter rings through the empty hallway

you turn back to chan who's looking at you with pleading eyes

"pleaseee" (´･ᴗ･`)

GOD HE'S ADORABLE

"fine!"

"YAY"

"but!" u wag ur finger at him, "ur only allowed to buy me chocolate milk"

"yes!!" he cheers and drags u off to the school's convenience store to buy you a bottle of chocolate milk

u thought he was gonna get u the cheap one but nO

HE GETS U THE EXPENSIVE ONE

THE ONE THAT COSTS LIKE 3 DOLLARS

FIRST OF ALL, CHOCOLATE MILK SHOULD NOT BE THAT EXPENSIVE

FUCK CAPITALISM

secondly, if u thought this was a one time thing

hAH READER YOU ARE SO SO SO WRONG

it soon becomes a regular thing and every morning, there is a chocolate milk on ur desk with a cute stick it note saying "good morning ♡´･ᴗ･`♡"

GAH UR HEART

and everyday after school, chan walks up to u and ask "hey y/n! did u get the chocolate milk?"

and he will pout if u show him the untouched bottle of milk

so u make sure that u drink it during lunch where he can see u drinking it

and it makes his insides all mushy and squishy

and that escalates to him waiting by ur locker every morning!!

he waits for u by ur locker and when u walk in

he fucking beams at you

the sun who??? u only know a bang chan

he hands u the chocolate milk and greets u

"good morning, y/n!"

and ur hearts does it usual schedule bang-chan-caused-flips

AND THAT ESCALATES TO U GOING TO HIS GAMES

"I thought u hated these things??"

"well I do but chan asked me to come so—"

(lisa, wiggling her eyebrows) "oh chan huh"

"hdshhdshutup"

so here u are again, sandwiched in between lisa and chaeyeon

o wow ur feeling a sense of deja vu

chan spots u in the crowd and runs over to u

"try not to get hit by any balls this time," he grins as he ruffles ur hair

"friendly reminder, I got hit by a ball from you," u retort and smack his hand away

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T BRING THAT UP ANYMORE"

"I CROSSED MY FINGERS BITCH"

the coach whistles for chan to get into place and u grab onto his arm, shocking both of u

o wow u got bold moves there reader

"uh, good luck out there," u smile at him

chan's heart doubles over in LOVE and smiles back at you "thanks!"

he runs back to the team, who are all looking at him with a sly look

"so when are u gonna ask y/n out?"

"i'll purposely aim the ball at ur head mingyu"

tbh u don't even know much about volleyball and all u see are balls being hit back and forth

im writing the match based on what I've seen my school's team done and it may be inaccurate pls correct me

sometimes u involuntary wince when u see chan spikes and the ball bounces off the floor bc the other team failed to block it

u pity the floor

it's the last match and both teams are tied

chaeyeon is gripping onto ur arm for dear life bc out of the three of you, she's the only who understands the most about volleyball

both teams are fairly powerful

they have a really strong setter aka lee hyunjae

boy may not look like it but he's strong!!!

the coach whistles and jaehyun serves the ball

jacob from the other team returns the ball and it goes flying across the net

in a blink of an eye, chan yells "mine!" and he spikes the ball with force* hyunjae rushes to block it but misses by a milimetre and the ball bounces off the floor

the entire gymnasium erupts into cheers

and u are pulled up from ur seat by a screaming chaeyeon

they won???

OH MY GOD THEY WON DJSJDJ

chaeyeon runs down to congratulate her boyfriend and u follow in suit

but u run straight into chan's arms to hug him

"congrats!" u squeal as he lifts u off the ground and spins u around

when he sets u down, the both of u finally realizes the position ur in and back away from each other awkwardly

"ahaha,,, congratulations!!" u tell him

chan grins at u "what can I say, ur my lucky charm"

ur cheeks start to heat up again and chan laughs

the rest of the team comes over to drag chan to the changing room, leaving u alone with lisa and chaeyeon

once the boys disappear behind the doors, the two girls turn around to look at u

"what was that???" lisa asks, referring to the hug between u and chan, as she whacks ur arm

she tryna whack the answer out of u HDHS

"STOP HITTING ME WOMAN THAT HURTS!!!"

"NOT UNTIL U TELL ME WHAT WAS THAT BETWEEN U AND BANG CHAN, Y/N"

"it was a hug! nothing more!" u say, more like ur trying to convince it was nothing more

"that was not just a hug," lisa mimics ur voice "that was one of those couples hug chaeyeon and jaehyun does!"

(chaeyeon, pipping up from the side) "she's right!"

"he totally likes you!" lisa smirks at u

 "no he does not!"

"uh yes, he does! jaehyun says so!" chaeyeon says in a matter-of-fact tone

"and you—" lisa points her index finger at u "—like him too!"

"WITH WHAT PROOF???"

"WITH THOSE HEART EYES HWANG Y/N"

before u can continue bicker and PROVE THAT U DO NOT LIKE BANG CHAN

jaehyun comes into view and says "hey y/n, chan is waiting for u outside, he has something to tell u"

[ part 2 ]

[omnivorouswallflower]

Hannibal S3 chuckles.

————

The netflix summary of episode one: Hannibal is enjoying his new life and sends a message to Will.

Yup. Enjoying it so much he has to tell Will how happy he is. Thats a thing happy people do.

————————

Hannibal getting bored in Italy: you know what would be fun? Terrifying Bedelia with a lecture about betrayal.

———————————-

Bedelia definatley trying to leave Hannibal: ....what are you doing Hannibal?

Hannibal murdering a Euro-version of Will: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PINING? BC I AM NOT PINING. I AM FINE.

Bedeli: Fml.

———————

Hannibal’s message to Will: Please come find me. My new wife somehow underestimated what living with me would be like. She doesnt enjoy any murdering. So bored. I want someone to talk to and murder with xoxo Hannibal.

——————————————

Everyone: Well you must hate Hannibal after what he did.

Will:............i mean. Sure. If that makes you feel better.

—————————

Bedelia: could you turn down the dramatics you are going to get caught.

Hannibal: *despondent and missing Will* Nothing matters. The world is bit a spinning sphere spiral toward chaos. All is darkness.

————————

*Hannibal literally murdering everyone he meets in Italy.

Bedelia: Could you not?

Hannibal: immediately stabs a professor with an ice pick.

*Bedelia pulling out the pick from the professors head*

Bedelia: At the dinner table?

Hannibal: All is darkness. I technically did not murder this man. Everything is dying always. Nothing is truly alive.

Bedelia: FML.

————————

Jack: if i try to help Will enough now it wil make up for ignoring him and not believing him before.

Will: I am more sane right now than i have been for most of the show.....

Jack: I WILL HELP YOU.

————————————————

Chiyoh: I wouldn’t do this to an animal.

Will: Oh yea. We could be friends.

————————————

Bedelia really wanting Will Garham to die so Hannibal will stop moping. So she just starts trying to convince him to eat him.

Hannibal: omg how have I never thought of this?

——————-

Chiyoh meeting Will: oh great. There’s two.

———————————————————————

Chiyoh: YEET!

——————————————-

Bedelia caring for Hannibal s wounds and generally him.

Hannibal: god i miss will.

Bedelia: Nevermind im just going to poison myself.

———————————-

Mason: Last time that i played with Hannibal i ate my own face.............................................

Im sure this time will be fine.

—————————————————————

Hannibal at the farm watching Will ripping off Cordels ear: I am so glad I didnt kill you. This is delightful.

Will:........yea

———————————————

Hannibal just chatting about being eaten.

Will casually manipulating Alana bc he is just done.

————————————————————

Just Hannibal with a hammer coming to get his man.

—————————

Hannibal: would you watch over me.

Chiyoh: yes.

Hannibal: Cool. Im about to make the next three years pretty boring.

—————————————————

Will after the Farm: i have to get away from this man bc i both love and hate him.

Hannibal: Yea about that......no.

——————————————

Hannibal at the end of season 2: you would put me in a cage!

Hannibal halfway through season 3: I will put me in a cage so as soon as you miss me you will come back. And if you take too long I will manufacture a reason for us to hang out.

————————————

Will: i want nothing to do with murder. I am a changed person.

Hannibal: Hey.

Will:...........fuck.

————————————————————

Hannibal: Wait we arent friends anymore?

Will: No.

Hannibal: First how dare you.

———————————-

Will:this is fine. I can see him. It will be fine.

Hannibal: Are you a good dad to that kid I can smell on you?

Will internally: omg i miss you so much.

Will externally: ESCAPES IMMEDIATELY.

————————————————————

Molly: yea i know he was besties with the Ripper. Buuuut hes so nice.

Anyone normal: wtf?

—————————————

Freddie : Still alive *POKE*

—————————————————-

Alana: I will protect Will from you.

Hannibal: U know he likes it.

Alana: HOW DARE YOU?

Hannibal: He has murdered several people.

Alana: Listen to all that bullshit coming out of your mouth. For shame.

—————————————————————-

Will: fuck off Freddie

Freddie: But i gave you a big dick box when i broke into your hospital room and took a nude photo of you.

————————————

Molly: i love you and i will be here when you come home.

Will:..............yup. Thats a thing that will happen. Of course. For sure.

————————————

Jack: I have learned my lesson. Be free will.

Will: Thank you.

Jack: untilanothermurderershowsup.

Wil: wat?

Jack: nothing.

—————————

Bedelia giving a speech about her book. Sees will in the crowd: oh shit.

Will: hey bitch whats good.

Both proceed to have an i knew him better fight.

—————————————-

Bedelia: ur not a killer

Will: i mean.........if it makes you feel better.

————————————————-

Hannibal: god Will is not paying me near enough attention.

Oh.

I know what i will do.

Lets have his family murdered.

—————————-

Chilton throwing a bitch fit outside Hannibals cell.

—————————————-

We need a moron to bait the dragon.

Alana: oh Chilton.

Will: Oh natch.

Jack: Of course.

———————————————————-

“The unfortunate fate of Frederik has put me into quite a good humor.” Fucking classic.

————————————————

Will: Im gone. Its done. I dont miss him. Im fine.

Dragon: uh. I want to make lector....

Will: oh thank god. I can help you.

—————————

Will: im going to let Hannibal out. But it’s just pretend.......I promise.

Bedelia: You miserable bitch.

———————————————————-

Will and Hannibal having a very intense conversation about the Dragon.

The nurses exchanging awkward glances.

——————————————————

Hannibal having just the best time during the escape.

Will both over it and knowing he will follow.

—————————————-

Hannibal being all eloquent when taking through his wound.

Dragon: imma film ur death.

Hannibal: If you hadnt reunited me with my beloved i swear to god. We were having a moment.

[hufflautia]

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

[curly-q-reviews]

FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!!  happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!!  i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!!  move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them.  i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead.  it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content).  and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required!  ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough.  and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!!  lets make our own movies baby!!!!”  and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way.  why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy?  and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so.  Bird Box.  here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry).  this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver???  well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!!  we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story. 

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan.  y’all remember The Happening?  cause i remember The Happening.  i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves.  the PLANTS.  and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck. 

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken.  we basically have the same premise going on here:  unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films).  now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense.  when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside.  makes sense!  thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it.  apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is.  and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue.  i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story.  and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing??  unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do. 

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box.  if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage.  i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something.  the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at.  and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit.  like why cant we have the best of both of these??  something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place.  there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have.  weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward.  bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes. 

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie.  if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you.  the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park.  go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!!  my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL

[littlelovelymemes]

✰  —  —  —  EVEN MORE POPULAR TEXT POSTS STARTERS

‘  let me just make one thing clear... i have no clue what’s going on, ever, at any moment, at any point in time. who knows what’s going on? not me. not ever.  ’ ‘  i would just like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i am doing  ’ ‘  we came from the same star and we will come together again in the end  ’ ‘  i have a ‘why am i like this’ moment at least five times a day  ’ ‘  did i need it? no. did i buy it? yes.  ’ ‘  the most dangerous game is resting your eyes after you turned off the alarm clock in the morning  ’ ‘  petition for stars in the day time please???  ’ ‘  i love it when i wake up and stretch and something cracks. makes me feel like a glo-stick  ’ ‘  drop whatever you’re doing right now and climb a tree  ’ ‘  the most fucked up part of adult life is how you can just decide to do things  ’ ‘  i’m a person who wants to do lots of things trapped inside a body that wants to SLEEP at all times  ’ ‘  i’m so tired but i’ll probably be awake until 3 am for no reason  ’ ‘  time to kick my own ass. bitch had it coming for too long  ’ ‘  honestly ‘thanks i hate it’ is one of the funniest phrases in the english language  ’ ‘  do you ever wonder how many people have loved you and never told you?  ’ ‘  the internets one true talent is making me sick of things i’ve never seen or read or heard  ’ ‘  i’m permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, i’m chill  ’ ‘  all cracker barrels are dimensionally linked. you could walk into a cracker barrel in georgia and walk out of one in arkansas and feel nothing  ’ ‘  ‘you look different with makeup’????? you think i’m buying shit for hundreds of dollars to just keep looking like my ugly self ... ok  ’ ‘  why did the fray go off so hard in ‘how to save a life’?  ’ ‘  anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms  ’ ‘  not to be too controversial but i like it when people are nice   ’ ‘  the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression  ’ ‘  i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm  ’ ‘  what time do you need me? i am unavailable whenever that time is  ’ ‘  look i may have made a few typos and committed a few murders but nobody’s perfect okay  ’ ‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’ ‘  i’m aiming for the “she’s a badass and cute as hell but i wouldn’t touch her without asking” look  ’ ‘  haha if you’re bored you could kiss me idk just sayin  ’ ‘  i see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. why is that.  ’ ‘  80s music wont solve all my life’s problems but it certainly distracts me from them  ’ ‘  i cant believe what walkie talkies are called  ’ ‘  some people think life is like a rollercoaster but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you’re pinned to the wall and can’t do anything about it  ’ ‘  hey girl do you want to make a fragile human connection in the vast and unfeeling infinity of a chaotic universe  ’ ‘  all these fuckboys but who is the fuckfather  ’ ‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’ ‘  do you have those people that you’d go anywhere with unconditionally, like they could say “lets go check out that dumpster” and you’d be like “im in”  ’ ‘  nah sorry i cant go out tonight, i have plans to spiral into uncontrollable anxiety starting in the early evening and ending at roughly 3 am  ’ ‘  me: queen of having had enough  ’ ‘  she needs a hug (i’m she)  ’ ‘  is it acceptable to start an essay with “listen here you little shit”? 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kiss me on the lips dude  ’ ‘  too many songs about love. not enough songs about sword fights  ’ ‘  don’t talk to me or my 78 insecurities ever again  ’ ‘  i just did a tarot reading... it said ur a bitch  ’ ‘  a good substitute for love and fulfillment? a crunchwrap supreme from taco bell  ’ ‘  i fucked up? idk what you’re referring to but probably  ’ ‘  *in a high-pitched mocking voice* "are you okay?" what the fuck.  ’ ‘  how do u just..... not believe in aliens  ’ ‘  a coffee pot can be a coffee mug if you just don’t fucking care  ’ ‘  “you’re up early!” jokes on you i didn’t sleep at all and am in between energized and dying  ’ ‘  dont wanna sound like a slut but i really need a hug right now  ’ ‘  casual fan? no sorry i only know how to invest my whole livelihood into something and spend every waking moment thinking about said thing  ’ ‘  i have a dozen hearts swirling around my head irl like that isnt a filter its permanent  ’ ‘  i worry about you even when you say you’re fine  ’ ‘  i will never hurt you. i will always stick by your side. i will always try to make you smile  ’ ‘  true love: having to hold back your adorable, violent girlfriend to keep her from straight up murdering a dude  ’ ‘  cute date idea: be nice to me  ’ ‘  im so jealous of people who know what they want to do with their future i dont even know what t.v show to watch next  ’ ‘  me? clingy? yes please don’t leave me  ’ ‘  hey….,.,.. no offense but,,. i want someone to love and cherish me  ’ ‘  i need someone to lay in bed with me for hours  ’ ‘  dark hannah montana..... show me the worst of both worlds  ’ ‘  someone has to say it: come on eileen is a fucking banger like that shit snaps,, a bop for the century  ’ ‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’ ‘  bless netflix for creating the skip intro button honestly  ’ ‘  they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because i keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it  ’ ‘  i wanna burry my face in someone’s chest right now til i fall asleep and wake up 4 hours later just to find i’m still in their arms  ’ ‘  the internet has ruined me honestly i’m numb to everything. it could be the end of the world and i’d be like “tag urself i’m the acid rain”  ’ ‘  lately i have been…….dying to be in love…,..and that’s the mood sadly  ’ ‘  not to be ns fw but i’d cry if someone kissed me on the cheek  ’ ‘  sexting? 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[m88n]

it's ok, i don't have it too bad and i can do my job quite well remotely. my office re-shutdown so i guess that means a weeklong netflix/yt marathon while i work 🤩 omg we are soulmates then! i've had everything from sushi at fine dining to supermarket sushi but i love it all 😍i'm partial to asian food, i also love korean and vietnamese food! um i just watched start up, the korean drama but for now i'm focusing on getting fanart done! flsdfk are you paid to clown me too 😑😑😑

even so, please stay safe steph 🥺🥺🥺cases are rising for us nowadays, better be safe than sorry always !!! <333 rly glad to hear tht ur gonna work from home agn bc .... comfy times + ur gonna be safer !!! :’’))) what kinda shows have u occupied urself with in the last few days i went awol (LOL) on tumblr cos of new yrs ??? true omg we like the same things 😍😍😍same i love asian food !! ... much spices much great times ,, n omg people hv been watching start up n i’ve wanted to know if its good !! would u mind enlightening me as to why u (might) like it steph?? 😂😂💕💕💕 n yes omg ur SAILOR MOON pls do color it if u feel like !!! :’’)) itd look so pretty ;___; n no nobody needs 2 pay me 2 wn lovingly tease u steph 😂😂😂💕💕💕

[lentils-writes]

Day 12: Arranged marriage AU with this prompt that I found: 

okay but like two friends getting married for cheaper tution like hah we are geniuses this is a fool proof plan and we are completely platonic everything is fine haha i didnt just notice how beautiful your eyes are and how soft your hair feels LOVING THIS CHEAPER TUITION EVERYTHING IS FINE

(I am SO SORRY this is late I got very carried away I like pining ok)

Kara checks her phone on the bus home and, of course, there’s a text from Melinda. That’s not weird; they text each other every day. What is weird is that it’s just a link to an article and the headline is “Get Married, Save Thousands on Tuition.”

Kara opens the article, skims it, and then replies.

??? what do u mean by this article???

I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.

it’s rly not

explain pls

Well, we both got into U of C, right?

yeah...

But I’m a California resident and you’re not. You’ll gonna be paying an extra twenty grand since you’re out-of-state. If we get legally married, you’ll count as a resident.

Kara feels her face getting hot and glances around to make sure no one is looking at her.

UM

what r u saying

It wouldn’t be a real marriage, calm down. Just so we get tax breaks and lower tuition. I think we could even qualify for the family housing if we’re lucky. It’s way cheaper than the dorms.

wow ur moving kinda fast there

we haven’t even gone on a real date :P

Hey, I took you to see Jupiter Ascending when you were here during winter break last year!

i don’t think that counts

we got kicked out

YOU got us kicked out for laughing too loud!

Anyway, sorry if this is weird. We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought it might be funny.

it is pretty funny

i gotta think about it tho

No worries. Practice starting, bye

Kara stares at her phone for a long moment, thinking. It’s not that she cares that much about marriage or thinks of it as this super important sacred symbol of love or anything. It’s something she’s thought a little more about since New Mexico legalized it when she was a freshman, and then again since the Supreme Court decision last year, but she’s in high school. The idea of falling in love and getting married is so far from her reality that she almost can’t imagine it.

Plus, it’s Melinda. Melinda is the most important person in her life - ever since they met three years ago on Tumblr, Kara’s spent hours talking to Melinda, becoming closer to her than she’s ever been to anyone else. She has friends at school (Alex, Sara, Zoe), but she’s always felt weirdly alienated from the rest of her classmates. Melinda likes to listen to her talk about Greek mythology and weapons history and all the other weird shit that most people find confusing or just too weird. Melinda makes her feel normal. So maybe marrying her best friend for a few years, and then divorcing a few years later, wouldn’t be the worst thing. Especially if the benefits are really that good.

---

Kara’s mom is weirdly supportive. “I know you and Melinda are close,” she says. “And you’re eighteen, I can’t stop you. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Be careful not to take it too seriously, okay?”

Kara hugs her mom and rolls her eyes. “I won’t, Mom,” she says. “We probably won’t even sleep in the same bed or anything.”

When she Skypes Melinda to accept her “proposal,” Melinda smirks. “I told my parents. Dad thinks it’s weird, but he likes the idea of not having to file my taxes for me. Mom lectured me for half an hour in Mandarin about and then said, ‘At least you’ll have someone to look after you, keep you out of trouble.’”

Kara giggles. “Tell her I’ll try?”

“Please. I’m the one that keeps you out of trouble,” teases Melinda. “So, I guess now we’d better figure out how courthouse weddings work. Can you come a couple days early so we can do the ceremony?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Kara nods. “We haven’t booked plane tickets or anything yet. I haven’t even really started packing.”

“Oh, and we should probably get rings. Doesn’t have to be fancy ones, just to keep up the facade. You might even be able to find something at Claire’s.”

“Yeah, I can do that. Can I stay at your place the extra couple days?”

“I’ll have to ask my parents, but probably that’s fine. They like you. As much as they like anyone, I mean.” Melinda chuckles. “I think you being a girl is helping. Mom’s never been that weird about my girlfriends, but I’m pretty sure she thinks it doesn’t really count unless I’m with a guy.”

Kara snorts and rolls her eyes. “Well, either way, it’s only four years. Then you can go off and marry a nice doctor or whatever they want you to do.”

“No, not a doctor. A lawyer. Not that I’m planning on marrying either one. Maybe not at all. You might be it.”

Kara mock-flinches. “So much pressure! I could sour you on the concept of marriage forever.”

“You could,” teases Melinda. “Okay, I have an essay to write for AP history. Later.”

“Bye,” says Kara, signing off. She has homework too, but instead of working on it she finds herself opening a new tab and going to Target’s jewelry section. Just for laughs, of course.

(The one she ends up picking out, and taking the bus to get the next day, is silver and has two curving lines that cross over each other, with a line of clear gems set into one of the lines. It sort of reminds Kara of an infinity symbol - ironic, but it’s fifteen dollars and won’t look too cheap.)

---

Neither Kara nor Melinda opt to wear white dresses to the courthouse. Melinda because Kara’s pretty sure she doesn’t own a single dress, and Kara because she doesn’t own anything white. She wears her favorite red summer dress and a sapphire necklace her mom insisted she take. Melinda wears a button-up shirt and her nice leather jacket. Kara’s starting to feel like maybe the necklace is too much, but Melinda smiles at her and says, “It brings out your eyes.” Kara says thank you and then laughs, and she’s not sure why.

They mostly spend the time waiting to be called in for the ceremony teasing each other about who’s going to do what. “I don’t bake,” Kara says, “so forget about coming home to fresh-baked cookies.”

“You should make us that pasta salad your mom gave you the recipe for, though,” Melinda says. “That sounds amazing.”

“If you rub my shoulders after dinner?”

“Deal.”

The officiant seems to take their giggly familiarity for actual romantic affection, and the ceremony takes only a few minutes. Kara expects it to feel more important than it does, but before she knows it Melinda is slipping the ring on her finger and pulling her in for a quick kiss at the end of the vows. It’s over before Kara can really absorb it’s happening.

They hold hands out of the courthouse, and Melinda grins over at her. “So,” she says. “How’s it feel?”

Kara shrugs, grinning back. “Totally normal.”

“Good,” Melinda says. “I guess maybe we should’ve practiced kissing first, but he didn’t seem suspicious.”

Kara shrugs. “I dunno. I think it was fine.” She hasn’t been kissed in a long time, not since early junior year when she and Beth broke up. She just hasn’t really had time to worry about finding anybody else.

They go get ice cream and shoot each other secret smiles. Kara eats a chunk of her coffee ice cream and stares at the little silver ring on her finger. It’ll take some getting used to.

---

They get a tiny one-bedroom apartment in the family housing complex, which is way nicer than the dorms even if it doesn’t come with furniture. Melinda’s parents help them buy a cheap bed frame and mattress. “Having only one bed saves money,” Lian May says, when May tries to protest. “And there won’t be enough room for two in this tiny place.”

Melinda makes a face at Kara behind her mother’s back, but Kara just shrugs. It’s not like she hasn’t slept in the same bed as other girls before. It’s no big deal.

There’s a ton of orientation activities for them to go to, but they end up skipping out halfway through and going home to order a pizza and watch Netflix. “I guess we could’ve said we were gonna go Netflix and chill,” teases Kara.

Melinda rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder. “Dork.”

Kara gets a job in the admissions office, and Melinda ends up working at the on-campus gym. Classes start, and they fall into a routine. They switch off cooking every other night, except if someone has a group meeting or evening lecture and then there are usually leftovers in the fridge. They get invited to a few parties and wave at their neighbors and get pretty good at the whole acting-married thing. Kara finds that the story of how they met doesn’t actually need that much editing; people seem to find it adorable. She meets Bobbi in her intro to human biology class, who tells her about the on-campus LGBT+ society (which, apparently, had had a booth at the clubs fair that they skipped) and gives her her number to hang out later. (Kara tries not to laugh out loud; go figure the only time another queer girl’s ever given her her number, it’s in a totally platonic context.)

And then, a month and a half into the school year, Kara has to consider that she might be falling in love with her “wife.”

Or at least she definitely wants to bone her. She figures that out one night when Melinda’s taking a bath and Kara barges into the bathroom to pee (nothing new, they’ve been doing that since the first week here) and notices, holy shit, Melinda has incredible boobs.

Melinda is reading and, when she notices Kara staring, she looks at her, puzzled. “What?”

“Uh,” says Kara, quickly looking away. “Nothing. Just wondering what you were reading.”

“Just a book for European History. You alright? You seem nervous.”

“I’m fine!” Kara says, too abrupt.

(She ends up having some confusing sexy dreams that night, and luckily Melinda has an early class the next morning and she doesn’t. Once Melinda leaves, she gets herself off quickly and hopes maybe that will be the end of it. Maybe it was just her body needing an orgasm.)

(It wasn’t.)

After that, she starts noticing other things: how shiny Melinda’s hair is in the sunlight, how satisfying it is to make her laugh or smile, how strong her hands are. About a week and a half after the bath incident, Melinda offers to give her a shoulder rub and Kara’s heart starts beating so fast she’s sure Melinda can hear it. But she just nods, and it turns out Melinda’s hands are amazingly strong. Kara probably makes some embarrassing noises, but Melinda doesn’t say anything about it, just smirks and says, “Glad you’re enjoying it.”

“I’m just really tense,” mutters Kara, blushing.

“Hey, I get it. My algebra prof is being a pain in the ass and assigning a ton of homework.” Melinda smiles sympathetically at her. “Anytime you need another one lemme know, okay?”

“Th-thanks,” says Kara. “I can try to do it for you too?”

Melinda shrugs. “Sure.” She shucks off her shirt and turns her back to Kara. “You ever done this before?”

“A couple times,” says Kara, “but I don’t think my hands are as strong as yours.” She starts kneading May’s shoulder muscles anyway.

“Mm, this is fine,” hums Melinda. “Thank you.”

Kara tries really hard to do a good job, and also not to notice how soft Melinda’s skin is.

---

Finally she can’t take it anymore and texts Bobbi to meet up with her for lunch. Bobbi’s probably her closest friend on campus (besides Melinda), she can trust her with her secret.

“Hey,” Bobbi says when she arrives at Teriyaki Madness, setting down her styrofoam container full of food and sitting across from Kara. “What’s up?”

Kara purses her lips and then finally says, “It’s kind of a long story, but it has to do with me and Melinda.”

“You’re not really a couple, are you?” Bobbi asks.

Kara’s so startled all she can do is squeak, “Um.”

“Dude, I figured out you guys were faking it like the third time we all hung out together. You guys are obviously super close, but when you hold hands or hug or kiss you’re so awkward. Like, I’ve had friends that were in LDRs and when they were together you couldn’t pry them apart. Not you guys.” Bobbi raises an eyebrow. “I mean, I’m guessing you got married for tuition, right? Mad props. My last ex wanted to do that but I knew we’d end up divorced in six months.”

Kara puts her face in her hands and groans. “Is it that obvious?”

“I mean, I dunno. I’m pretty perceptive. I think probably most people aren’t thinking that much about it. But anyway, what did you wanna talk to me about? You guys okay other than, y’know, not actually being a couple?”

“Um,” says Kara. “Well.” She stares at her soda, unsure of how to say I wanna have sex with my best friend-slash-wife and also I might be falling in love with her?

Bobbi looks at her for a second. “You’re not like, in trouble, are you?”

“No, no! I mean. I’m okay, I just…” Kara swallows and then mutters “ImightbeintoherIthinkmaybe.”

At that, Bobbi laughs, then slaps a hand over her mouth. “Jeez, sorry, that was mean,” she says, but she’s still grinning. “So you, what, figured out you like her now?”

“I guess,” says Kara, eating a piece of chicken. “She’s...we’ve been best friends for three years, she’s the person I know best in the world. Maybe I should’ve seen this coming.”

Bobbi shrugs and replies, “Hey, just ‘cause you’re close with someone doesn’t mean you’re gonna wanna bone them. Izzy and I practically grew up together and I can’t imagine being into her, she’s like my sister. If I had a really hot sister, I guess. But I’m not interested in her that way. Anyway. What are you gonna do about it?”

“I don’t know!” says Kara. “What am I supposed to do? ‘Hey, best friend who I’m legally married to, I’m thinking maybe I actually wanna date you and not just pretend, how do you feel about that?’ That’s so weird.” She sighs. “This is stupid.”

Shaking her head, Bobbi says, “It’s not. You really just need to talk to her about it. I know it’s gonna be weird, but if she’s not into you too, then you guys can talk about you like, dating other people. Or you can come over and I’ll buy you a shitton of ice cream and we’ll watch dumb movies. Whatever you need.”

“Or I could just never say anything,” Kara says. But she makes a face and nods. “Thanks for listening.”

“Hey, no worries.” Bobbi pauses and then adds, “Listen, if she’s not down for whatever, I’m also available for a friends-with-benefits thing, if you want.” She gives Kara an exaggerated wink.

Kara snorts. “I’ll think about it.”

---

It takes Kara a week to figure out what she wants to say, and then another week to figure out the right time to say it, which means that once she’s finally gotten up the guts it’s midterms week and she and Melinda are so busy they barely see each other. Then after midterms she waits a week or two just to be sure, and then it’s the week before Thanksgiving and it would just be weird to make things weird before Thanksgiving, so she waits some more. (She ends up going home with Melinda and meeting many members of her extended family. To them, she’s just Melinda’s roommate, which is okay. It’s kind of nice to not have to pretend.)

And then it’s the holiday season.

Bobbi’s taken it upon herself to badger Kara about talking to Melinda give-or-take once a week, and by this point she’s just texting stuff like DONE YET? in all-caps. You have to tell her sometime!!!! Bobbi writes. You can’t just NOT!!!!!

u wanna bet

You’re going to die of blue balls or something!

i don’t think that’s possible, bob

and i don’t even have balls

Ok maybe not but seriously, this is ridiculous

Finally, one night they’re watching a movie and Kara blurts out, “I have to talk to you about something.”

Melinda pauses the movie and glances over at her. “What’s up? You okay?”

“Yes. No. I mean-” Kara sighs. “It’s embarrassing.”

Melinda looks even more confused. “What do you mean?”

Kara bites her lip. “I...I like you.”

“Oh.” Melinda just looks at her for a moment.

Kara’s starting to get progressively more anxious and angry with herself when Melinda adds, “Well, good, ‘cause I was trying to figure out how to tell you that I’m into you. It seemed like a bad romance novel cliche.”

Kara laughs, maybe a little hysterically. “Wait, how long have you been…?”

Melinda coughs. “This whole plan may or may not have been my way of trying to tell you.”

“Mel, oh my god! It’s been months! Why didn’t you-”

“Same reason you didn’t,” Melinda says, nudging her with her shoulder. “Too chickenshit to say something.”

“Shit,” says Kara, putting her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know - I’ve been stressing since like before Halloween about this! I told Bobbi and she’s been bugging me to tell you!”

“Oh, Bobbi knows?” Melinda snorts. “Great. So we’ll never hear the end of that.”

“Well, I usually tell you about this stuff, but I couldn’t! Oh my god.” Kara laughs again. “So I guess...now we get to figure out how to date for real?”

“I guess,” Melinda says. “You wanna make out for real?”

“Oh my god, yes.”

(Bobbi never does let them live it down. And they don’t get divorced after the four years are up.)

[captivekinqs]

Rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. I DO WHAT I WANT THOR

i was tagged by @exy-king​ :)

1. coke or pepsi: pepsi

2. disney or dreamworks: ...dreamworks? disney dreamworks and pixar are all under “disney” in my head i don’t pay enough attention to this shit to know which is which

3. coffee or tea: coffee

4. books or movies: ummmm movies? i actually find it v hard to focus to pay attention long enough to anything other than tv shows but movies are def easier than books so

5. windows or mac: windows

6. dc or marvel: marvel

7. x-box or playstation: i barely even know what these are

8. dragon age or mass effect: dragon age, at least i know what that is

9. night owl or early riser: night owl 110%

10. cards or chess: cards, i’m too stupid and unfocused to be any good at chess

11. chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

12. vans or converse: converse for sure

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: are these foreign words? idk lavellan is the most phonetically pleasing so

14. fluff or angst: welllllllll depends but without more specifics i’mma have to go for angst

15. beach or forest: forest

16. dogs or cats: both

17. clear skies or rain: rain

18. cooking or eating out: eating out :)))) (also i can’t cook for shit, i can only bake)

19. spicy food or mild food: spicy

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: i don’t much care for our christmas traditions but we don’t do halloween so i guess christmas by default

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: too cold any day

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: either being able to change appearance at will or teleportation

23. animation or live action: animation

24. paragon or renegade: again idk what any of this is referring to so i’m just gonna say renegade bc it sounds cooler

25. baths or showers: baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaths i’ve only ever had one and i need more we only have a shower tho booooo

26. team cap or team ironman: team cap all the way

27. fantasy or sci-fi: hmmmmm both

28. do you have three or four favorite quotes, if so what are they: listen i prob do but i can’t be bothered to dig them up rn sorry

29. youtube or netflix: netflix

30. harry potter or percy jackson: harry potter never... read? percy jackson

31. when you feel accomplished: right now bc i cleared out like 600 likes lmao

32. star wars or star trek: star wars by virtue of never having seen star trek

33. paperback books or hardback books: i like hardbacks better aesthetically but paperbacks are handier

34. to live in a world without literature or without music?: neither thx

35. who was the last person to make you laugh? one of my students

36. which is better: sour or sweet candy? sour

37. do you believe in aliens? i’ve seen harry styles ofc i do

38. dawn or dusk? dusk

39. piercings or tattoos? both

40. OKAY SO I Wanna know: girls? what do u wanna know abt them mate

41. volcanoes or black holes? black holes

42: Favourite language (either to listen to, or that you can speak): to speak? english

if u see this and wanna do it go ahead and consider urself tagged but @tar-miriel i’mma tag bc ur the only person i know who can answer all these questions in a weird foreign language i don’t understand