#nesta abusing alcohol? yes. Nesta an alcoholic? NO

[ladydeath-vanserra]

it's so crazy I'm being vague posted about with my own screenshots from my own kindle by teenagers who will stan Rhys and be anti Nesta and will still say its different that Tamlin was abusive towards Feyre but not Rhys with Feyre/Nesta. like. babygirl, they're both abusive. both of them. they are doing the same thing of abusing their power. considering I have this girl blocked, I'm guessing someone is possibly doing the leg work for her

[littlemisssatanist]

my acotar unpopular opinions

taking this time to come out as an acotar reader. yes i've read all the books and i've spent way too much time thinking about it. i enjoy the books in the sense that i enjoy hating on many of the characters and loving a few of the others.

be forewarned inner circle fans. you will not like this.

rhysand is not a 'morally grey' character. he's a rapist and a groomer. he sexually assaulted feyre utm, he groomed her (reminder that she was 19 in acotar), and he withheld important medical information from her. 'you'll always have a choice' my ass.

nesta telling feyre about her pregnancy was not a bad thing. why do people act like it is? 'oh she did it to hurt feyre' hurt her by doing what? revealing the lies that her beloved husband had woven? revealing the fact that she'd die giving birth? the fact that rhysand told literally everybody but feyre?

mor is not the champion for women everyone thinks she is. this i will give to sjm it is truly impressive to make a character like women and still be a pick me. i'm not even going to go into her whole weird ass relationship with her dad (i still don't understand why she wouldn't just kill him. 'oh rhys needed the army' rhys is supposed to be the most powerful high lord ever. either admit he's a fucking loser or give me an actual good reason for this) or the fact she's seemingly incapable of doing anything to help the women in the court of nightmares, but everytime she was mentioned, i had to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples.

on a similar topic. i liked eris. like a lot. out of all the acotar characters sjm has written, eris is by far my favorite.

the inner circle needs to sit the fuck down. they are the most hypocritical bitches i've ever met. they like to think themselves high and mighty. reading them make fun of lucien's band of exiles while their name is literally 'court of dreamers' was the most infuriating thing ever. and then they have the gall to be insulted when called out. don't dish what you can't take.

out of all the inner circle, the only one i don't hate is azriel. this is simply because he is the only one who hasn't opened his big fat mouth and done something bad (except if you maybe count his whole thing with elain). cassian is on my hit list. it's on sight with cassian.

nessian is sjm's worst ship and i will stand by that. lucien/nesta could have been so much. 'nesta would have ripped lucien apart' and cassian was your first choice? not even azriel was considered? like be so for real right now. sjm didn't see the potential of lucien/nesta and i will forever mourn that.

sjm is a terrible writer. i'm not saying this to be mean but she seriously just sucks at it. that being said i admire her ability to still make millions of dollars off her shitty writing. as a woman, i am rooting for her. as a reader, every day i wake up a shoot a prayer to the heavens begging the gods to not let sjm write any more books from the inner circle's pov.

lucien/elain is better than azriel/elain. argue with the wall.

eris/azriel is better than azriel/elain. you can kiss my ass.

NESTA/ERIS IS BETTER THAN RHYSAND/FEYRE. i know this because i have been enlightened.

feyre is a victim to rhysand. that being said, she is also a major bitch. both can be true because these things are not mutually exclusive. i wish she could make friends outside of the ic like nesta did, but i know that's unlikely.

feyre's pregnancy storyline was completely useless and went against her whole character.

acomaf retconned everything about tamlin and feyre's relationship in order to make more money. idc.

tamlin gets a ridiculous amount of hate. rhysand is hypocritical. so tamlin locking feyre in a house because she wants to ride out with him into potential danger is terrible and abusive, but rhysand locking nesta in the house of wind for... *checks notes*... having sex and spending money on alcohol is helping her? what?

[theladyofdeath]

Lady Death's Lover {9}

Lady Death's Lover Masterlist & Summary

19th Century Period AU Nesta x Cassian Secret Affair / Enemies to Lovers / Forbidden Romance Fanfiction / Characters from Sarah J Maas / ACOTAR Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous

A/N: Queue the fireworks...and the drama.

TW: marital abuse, sexual content, language, depression, alcohol abuse

This story is for readers 18+. Mature readers only. Content should not be read by anyone under 18.

Wife,

I am writing to inform you that I am prolonging my absence. I will write again when I know of my return date. It will be a fortnight at minimum. 

Sincerely,

Tomas Mandray

<.>.<.> Cassian <.>.<.>

Three days have passed since the ball and she’s all I’ve been able to think about. 

I feel foolish, utterly enraptured by this woman who can never be mine. Yet, I cannot seem to stay away, which is how I have found myself standing at her front door.

The sun has nearly vanished and the city of Velaris is painted in pink and orange. You would think that such a beautiful display of nature would calm me, but the serenity only has my nerves worsening. 

I knock before I can back out.

The head butler greets me although there’s nothing pleasant in his expression.

“Good evening, my lord,” he says, his voice low with a hint of confusion. “Lord Mandray is still in the north, I’m afraid.”

I try to put on my best disheartened expression. “I see. Is Lady Mandray home? It’s urgent.”

The butler hesitates but ultimately succumbs. “Yes, my lord. Let me show you to the drawing room.”

Hiding my relief, I follow him into the house and down the hall to the drawing room. He leaves me alone to fetch his mistress and I find my way to the floor length windows, staring out at the gardens that Nesta and I got lost in only days ago. Mere minutes pass before I hear her voice.

“That will be all, Alfred, thank you.”

As I turn around, the doors close softly behind her and we are alone. The room falls into silence and we stare at one another expectantly. I’m scared to say a word, afraid that the help is still standing outside the door, waiting to collect their gossip.

“Lord Cassian,” she says, at last.

“Lady Nesta,” I reply, with a nod of my head. “I apologize for the intrusion.”

“It is no intrusion,” she says, her voice louder than usual. I assume she is thinking of the nosey help, too. “Have you news for me to pass along to my husband?”

The word husband surges through me with a spike of jealousy, but I play her game. “Indeed. Shall we sit?”

“Please.” Instead of making our way to separate seats, we meet at the settee, sitting together. When she speaks again, it’s quieter. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I had to see you,” I say, unable to hide it, unable to deny a damn thing, knowing we don’t have much time. “The other night felt…”

“I’m sorry I had to run off,” she whispers.

“Do not apologize,” I counter, longing to reach for her hand but refraining. “You did what you must.”

Nesta’s quiet for a moment, staring at her hands that are clasped together on her lap, on top of her pale blue skirts. When she does speak, she repeats, “Why are you here, Cassian?”

“I’ve already told you—”

“No,” she says, and when she looks at me, her eyes are blurry. There is regret there. Regret, and longing, and an undying sadness. “You are here to suppress me.” 

I blink, not understanding. “Pardon?”

“You are here to make me feel want, jealousy, for something that can never be.” A tear falls down her cheek and she angrily wipes it away. “And that is cruel.”

“I am not trying to be cruel—”

“Then what are you trying to accomplish?” she breathes a laugh that holds no humor. “The other night…” She shakes her head but her eyes remain on mine, dejected and yearning for something that is imaginative. “It was lovely. Our moment in the garden, with you, made me feel alive and for that I am grateful. However, it is good that we were interrupted. If we were to kiss, Cassian, there would be no going back. Not for me. And that is something that I cannot risk.” 

I am speechless. Foolish, too. I had no idea what I was thinking coming here, or what I had hoped to accomplish. I was only thinking of myself and not her. I was thinking of how she had been affecting me, and not how I would affect her by my presence here.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and when a tear slides down her face once more, I reach up to wipe it away.

She does not push me away. Instead, another tear falls at my touch. 

“I will leave you alone,” I say, and I mean it, but I will not go quietly. “I am sorry if I have made you feel any distress, but you have no idea what you have done to me. Since that first day we crossed paths, you have consumed me. Not a waking moment goes by when my thoughts do not drift to you, and I cannot sleep without you infiltrating my dreams. You are, without a doubt, the most intriguing woman I have ever met. You are stunningly witty and intelligent, and your beauty…” She swallows as I speak, hanging onto my every word. “You make me laugh. And you infuriate me at the same time. And I hate that I cannot kiss you, that I cannot hold you in my arms and make you feel as loved and appreciated and wanted as you should feel.” 

“Cassian—”

“I am irrevocably in love with you.” The words pour out of me before I can stop them, and the moment they leave my mouth her silent tears have turned into a downpour. “Even if you will never be able to return that love, I thought you should know that someone loves you as you deserve to be loved. Unconditionally. Without fault. Wholly.”

“We hardly know each other,” she protests, wiping at her eyes. Her words lack strength, as if she’s trying to convince herself just as much as me. 

“I know you well enough to know how I feel,” I promise, “and I know myself well enough to know that I have never felt this way about a woman, nor will I ever feel this way again.” I reach for her hands and she lets me. I cradle them in my own, brush my thumbs over her smooth skin. “Forgive my selfishness. I know my feelings make no difference, but I had to tell you. I had to let you know that you are loved, Nesta, and always will be.”

I wipe her tears away and my confessions turn into silence that she does not respond to. I do not expect her to. She is married. Yet, we sit there unable to keep our hands off of one another. My thumbs brush along her cheeks, her hands grip my wrists. I can feel the warmth of her body. 

I don’t know how much time passes, but I know that we are running out of that precious time. I force myself to stand up from the settee, force myself to look away from her tearful gaze. I force my feet to move, one foot in front of the other, until I reach the door.

I force myself to reach for the handle, but one word stops me.

My name.

“Cassian.”

By the time I turn around, she’s already in front of me, and before I can catch my breath, she’s throwing herself into my arms and her mouth is landing on mine.

For a moment, I’m stunned, lost in this moment that could never be replicated, but then I’m melting into her. My arms wrap around her waist and I draw her against me, as close as she can get, until I feel every inch of her body against mine. Our tongues brush and I am lost in the sweet taste of her. The help outside fades away, as does the fact that we are in her home that she runs alongside her husband. 

The second her lips leave mine, I feel empty. She escapes my embrace and takes two steps back, then three, then she’s so far away that I cannot touch her. We are staring at one another as if something monumental has just happened, something that cannot happen, something that should not have happened, something that changed everything. 

I want her. I want to take her away from here just as much as I want to lay her down on the table, strip her bare, and ravish her. Her eyes fall from mine and land on my heaving chest just before they land on my groin and the blatant display of my passion. 

Her lips are swollen. Her hair is falling from its pins. Her cheeks are rosy.

I have never seen her so beautiful. 

“You must leave,” she says, and although I knew it was coming I still feel like I’ve been blindsided. “We must never speak of this again.”

“Nesta—”

“Please,” she begs, eyes shining. “I am begging you, my lord. Leave.”

I nod, accepting our fate. I know she is going against her wishes, know that she is defying her heart. Nonetheless, I must listen. I have created enough inconveniences already. 

I swallow as I straighten my jacket and run a hand through my hair. “Goodbye, Nesta.”

“Goodbye, Cassian,” she says, and her voice breaks, tearing my heart out of my chest and leaving it irreparable. 

With nothing left to say, I open the door and let myself out. The hallway is empty as I make my way down it and to the front door where I rush past the butler and into the open night air. 

It’s peaceful outside.

But even the famous Velaris starlight cannot make me feel whole again. 

[stargirlfeyre]

If Nesta makes a choice that her stans don’t like then they just blame the IC for it.

Nesta saying yes to seducing Eris because she wanted to piss Cassian off? Nah the IC forced her to do it.

Nesta becoming a Valkyrie with her friends? Nah the IC forced her to become a warrior.

Nesta choosing to not drink at Solstice because she’s healing and figuring out new ways of coping? Nah the IC are forbidding her from ever drinking alcohol.

Nesta choosing to remain jobless and relying on Feysand for money? Nah the IC are the reason why she isn’t working and they’re financially abusing her.

Nesta finally healing and becoming nicer towards the people around her? Nah Rhys brainwashed her and forced her to be with his bestfriend.

Y’all are all about women making their own choices until that woman makes a choice that you don’t like.

[bookishfeylin]

Feel free to ignore if you're tired of hearing about this, but: your tags about SJM injecting real world morals into her stories and then ignoring them. Suddenly I am entirely clicking with where you are and from what point you're making your commentary. SJM is the one who chose to use modern concepts and buzz words for abuse and PTSD, and she is the one who chose to judge some characters by modern moral concepts but not others. That's what makes it so hard to do the usual analysis of characters, so I just don't. But you, if I understand you, are making your analyses to point out the flaws and holes in HER judgments. To show that SHE made it unbalanced and isn't playing by her own rules.

Yes, this is it exactly. I despise hypocrisy, and Sarah's books are unfortunately the pinnacle of such. The same standards that are used to judge Tamlin and Nesta would also render Feysand and co abusive, but the text (read: Sarah's favoritism) refuses to acknowledge that, doing a disservice to her own themes in the first place.

I also want to apologize in advance for the rant this is going to turn into, because man do I have FEELINGS about this.

Part of the reason the ACOTAR fandom is so toxic is because Mrs. Maas applied real world standards to a fantasy series, creating a conundrum where some characters are allowed to exist in and operate within a fantasy-based morality (like Rhysand, the Inner Circle, and Feyre) whilst others are held up to a stricter, real-world morality and are vehemently critiqued in text for failing to meet the moral standards of our world (Tamlin, Nesta, even Lucien), leaving fans of the latter group of characters to call out the hypocrisy in text for their characters being evaluated by standards that the former aren’t held to whilst fans of the former set of characters happily indulge in such hypocritical writing even while promoting this series as an excellent example of handling of real-world themes like abuse (and yes I did copy and paste this entire paragraph from another post of mine lol).

Some weeks back I saw someone on THAT SIDE of the fandom explain that they hated Tamlin because he abused Feyre (valid!) and pull out a picture of Sarah including the National Domestic Violence Hotline at the end of ACOFAS as evidence that liking him was morally wrong or whatever (I'd reblog the post, but OP is, again, on THAT SIDE of the fandom and sadly has me blocked now :( ).

But that same hotline is the one I've used in my analysis of why RHYSAND is abusive here, here, and here. The same source Sarah includes in these books to make a point about Tamlin being abusive also renders Rhysand abusive. But here's what gets me: The person and others like her who were reblogging that pic of the domestic violence hotline were also whining about people judging Rhysand by real world standards. Yes, I'm serious. For a topic like abuse, one deeply personal to me and many others, Sarah (and her fandom) can't pick and choose what characters to apply real world standards to. Not for something like this.

But we don't even have to use real world standards to call out the hypocrisy in how her characters were written--we can use ACOTAR's own morality as well. Case in point: Nesta's treatment in ACOSF. Locking Nesta up is treated as the right thing to do in ACOSF, but ACOMAF goes OUT OF ITS WAY to show that locking someone up is wrong and is a violation of your personal bodily autonomy, NO MATTER THE REASON. This action is often defended in one of two ways: by stans saying that Nesta was embarrassing Feysand when they needed to be keeping up appearances for the court, or, more commonly, because Nesta was an alcoholic. But neither reply holds water. If Nesta embarrassing Feysand in ACOSF was bad because they needed to keep up appearances as the court rebuilt and prepared for war with the mortal queens and Koschei, then... that justifies Tamlin getting upset with Feyre over the tithe several books earlier. That was his logic for being upset that Feyre gave the water wraith her jewelry, and also his logic for (according to fandom) "stuffing her in dresses"--keeping up appearances for the people and preventing Hybern from finding any weakness to exploit (again, this is according to fandom. In the books, the dresses were chosen by Ianthe but we both know no one pays attention and Tamlin is blamed for everything anyway). So either Tamlin was justified in ACOMAF, or Feysand are wrong. Nesta's alcoholism isn't a good excuse either, because if she were truly an alcoholic, Feysand would've put a healer in the House with her to help her through withdrawal and prevent her from having a seizure and dying, which I'll discuss in more detail in my upcoming post about Nesta. Either way, Feysand's treatment of Nesta was inexcusable by ACOTAR's own rules that say locking people up is bad, and in trying to excuse this some stans accidentally justify Tamlin's behavior in ACOMAF as he had the same excuses.

This also applies to the Inner Circle voting on whether or not to keep Nesta's powers a secret from her--didn't ACOMAF also say that that was bad and controlling on Tamlin's part? Why is Tamlin keeping Feyre's magic a secret abusive and controlling, but the Inner Circle deciding to do the same (even if it failed anyway) is fine?

The hypocrisy that began in ACOMAF in which Tamlin was declared abusive but Rhysand wasn't despite Rhysand... also being abusive spiraled out of control in ACOSF and is ultimately what fractured this fandom, and because of said hypocrisy nothing after ACOTAR 1 is enjoyable for me.

So yes. Beyond ACOTAR 1, I'm forced to evaluate the characters with the real-world morals Sarah decided to randomly include, and in doing so can't help but be faced by this series' own hypocrisy, and I'm hoping my analysis will allow others to see that the hypocrisy ultimately causes it to fold in on itself and destroys its own point.

[itselriel]

i feel as though the Gwyn ordeal within the fandom is giving the same as how some people are anti anything to do with the IC or Feysand (Feyre and/or Rhys) because of an unhealthy alcoholic Nesta’s opinion in the beginning of ACOSF and hear me out, the overt sexualization/self insert these “fans” have with Gwyn is giving the same as people only loving unhealthy Nesta because she is a self insert for all of the hatred they have for the series because in their minds it’s now “canon” these characters are “evil”, as though they don’t understand what morally grey means and same with Elain, she threatens specific people’s self insert with Azriel (or the others she’s associated with) the same way the Nesta stans have hatred for Feysand and Cassian because it threatens their “canon” of what Nesta is

(by over sexualization i mean shoving an traumatic SA survivor into BDSM fan art and completely ignoring how closed of and sheltered she still is by the end of the book because of her trauma and being re traumatized especially when she was in my opinion, anything but sexual in the book and rightfully so. in another way it’s feeling the same as people romanticizing Tamlin when he was physically abusing Fae Feyre to the point it would’ve killed Mortal her, they take a canonically traumatic thing and just rip the page of canon text in half while going “haha no, that’s not it silly” and then handing you essentially a fanfic as “proof” for their “theories”/their canon because that’s what it is- ‘their canon’ not Sarah’s. i just mean they’re taking Gwyn’s trauma away to have a character that wasn’t written into the story to serve their own needs as a reader instead of reading a different series the same way they took Feyre’s trauma away to go “awwww poor baby Tam-Tam” thusly taking the abuse he inflicted on Feyre out of him as a character to romanticize him. i don’t know if this made any sense, or if it was a decent comparison, my apologies. i just don’t feel like things would’ve gotten this bad if it was what is was, a crackship and nothing more because maybe then they would’ve at least- maybe, hopefully, been even a little more respectful of Gwyn having been traumatized. coincidentally, all the characters the hate is over, not including the Archeron sisters, are canonically side characters and i don’t why that pisses people off so much.)

The Archeron sisters and bat boys are the main characters of the series. That is clear and is shown throughout the series.

If anyone wants to comment on this post with their opinions of how people treat Gwyn and how they view fanon Gwyn as canon Gwyn, please feel free. In my opinion, Gwynriels depictions of Gwyn are disturbing. They sexualize her and it’s honestly wrong. After what she has gone through, creating art and coming up with “theories” that involve Gwyn in a sexual way make me completely uncomfortable.

Regarding Nesta, she went through a lot and dealt with her emotions in a very unhealthy way. There is no other way to put it. She was harmful to herself and was going down a very bad path. Had Rhysand and Feyre not stopped her, she would have still been going down a bad path and never would have healed. Nesta has also been very mean and rude throughout the series. That’s just a fact. Was there a reason for it? Yes. But does that reason excuse her actions and the way she acted before she healed? No.

I don’t know what you mean regarding the Azriel and Elain part. People could easily read the books and imagine themselves as Elain if they wanted to. Maybe then they would see all the buildup she has with Azriel throughout four books and a bonus chapter. They just choose not to do that.

Again, if anyone has anything else to add to this please feel free in the commets.

[starlightbooklove]

Let's talk about Nesta Archeron and ACOSF

Pt. 2.

At first, within Nesta's perception of hatred and annoyance and alcoholism, we can understand why she is upset when they stop giving her money and take her to live in the house of the wind, like she is an alcoholic, she is traumatized, it is understood, and in fact it is something that is maintained in the book the idea that not having something to drain her emotions and the pressure of her power, energy and shitty attitude would give way to these to make her and others' lives (more) miserable, it makes sense, and the narration help us to see that in her mind she was controlling her own fires until they took the extinguisher from her, although obviously that is not the case, I repeat it is her perception of the help they're giving to her, because To the surprise of the fandom, Nesta thinks of herself the same way we do, as someone bad, miserable, ungrateful and selfish, she knows it, she hates it and thinks/knows that everyone around her feel that way about her too, and here we have the way for a GREAT story, cause we understand both parts of the story, the ones who want to help her and the one who needs help. Sadly this was done halfway.

But Let me explain why:

Nesta finally accepting love with Cassian is not an arc, but part of it.

Nesta making friends and being cute and ultimately vulnerable with them is not an arc. And don't get me wrong, I love their friendship and I defend it but it should be part of their growth, not all growth.

Nesta saving Feyre is literally the least you can expect from someone who loves you And has the power to help you , I don't take credit away from what she did, but her sister had been doing practically the same thing her whole life, I repeat, I don't take credit away, but that can't be all a character does to redeem themselves, It was a beautiful, deep and intense moment, but it deserved a conversation afterwards, where at least Nesta could say sorry for having been so shitty, her act of love does not erase everything she did, ("Are you demanding an apology?") Yes, one thing ACOTAR does is raise awareness of Tamlin's abuse but never of Elain and Nesta's abuse of Feyre, for years, Elain is Nice and everything but, took place by not doing nothing and she was at least thankfull, but Nesta 😬 I don't even have to mention it.

The biggest thing I feel like she fell short the most was mainly that she never apologized to Feyre And that there was no conversation about trauma and true healing between the sisters, (And it's not just because I like Feyre), and it's super wtf because she accepts that she wasn't good to her, (it was the complete opposite) And yet, she never apologized (She had plenty of reasons to do so, mainly her own life) and something as essential as this in this kind of story escaped the author.

Feyre deserves an apology, she doesn't need it, Nesta does, Forgiveness can be healing for both the one who gives it and the one who receives it, and in a character like her, it is the pinnacle of everything, it would have been what, with fewer sexual scenes and something, more would have closed the story perfectly.

People take it as that we are being unfair to her, or that we are making it about Feyre, when obviously it is going to be made in part about her, (She is the reason why she is still alive), And when it should be something important for Nesta once she decides to change Also, her relationship with her sisters should be the first thing to address in all of this, since it is the source of the family trauma The root of several of Nesta's fundamentally bad attitudes, and it cannot be resolved by snapping your fingers and everyone is already friends.

A detail that I have also noticed is how Nesta's progress is slow, and no, no one should criticize the progress of others, but this works against the book Because we can't see the results of what she 'advanced' we can only see a process not the result, because even what she did for Feyre in the end is part of her process. Realizing that you have to allow yourself to feel even though sometimes it's all pain and all, that's not a result of a redemption arc, it's part of it.

Again I go to Chaol, half of Tower of Dawn is him being a bitter 'old man', who is up to his neck in self-loathing and self-pity at the same time, there comes a moment when he realizes that If he continues like this, he will not be able to fulfill his mission, then that reasoning turns into if he did not find a way to see this differently, I will not do myself any good until this resolution saves him from his wound And at this point the book does not end, in fact it reaches a point where Chaol returns to the physical state that he felt was a prison but sees it in a completely different way, In a healthier way for him and those around him so that he no longer sees everything that gets in his way as an obstacle, and his honor as something so black and white. THERE IS a beggining a hitting of rock bottom and Then a climb up, the detail with Nesta is that we only reached her starting to climb, they did not show a change on her part towards the IC, her sister, her entire environment, That she could completely and truly show us how dedicated she was to her change as a person and that is why the arc is incomplete and even falls apart.

I have said it before and I say it again, it is not a bad book, it just has parts that could easily be used to really develop her change and growth, and for this reason it could have been much better.

As someone who suffers from anxiety and quite a bit of overthinking, seeing a character who put herself down so hard made me feel like what I was experiencing wasn't something small or silly, and this kind of depiction (like Feyre's depiction of depression and self-loathing) cannot be ignored, and I think the biggest distractor of this is the very book that presents it, wich is fricking ironic.

Finally, An 'I love you' is not a 'sorry' telling the person who saved your ass all your life I love you is fine, the moment was beautiful, but just because Feyre forgave her doesn't mean that Nesta asked for forgiveness and in this kind of book with this kind of character, that is supose to be learning to accept the emotions and the damage he can and has done and do something about it, it is a little necessary.

Just a little bit yk

I've already talked about this, but the pregnancy thing obviously plays a role in Nesta, this is her bottom of the shitty life she has built for herself This is the point where even she was shocked at how fucking far she could go with her evil and contempt for everyone she saw what she was made of and how pathetic she was and yk the drill she escapes, reflects, breaks down and puts herself back together, but she never apologizes.

And honestly, I care more about this apology than what she could have done for everything else, because you have no idea how much damage it can do to a pregnant woman to find out about something so serious The way she did it, when she found out about it, she was able to easily start labor there, in fact, when I read it I thought that was what was going to happen, and yes, let's make it clear that the IC not telling her was wrong, and while they are not to blame for Nesta's violent reaction (no one is to blame for anyone's actions, unless they were coerced, which is not the case) But they are partly because of Feyre's reaction, because something I have realized is that Feyre can forgive Nesta practically everything, and I think it didn't hurt her that much (obviously it hurt her but she was worried about what he said so it was in the background) at least not as mucho as it hurt her that she had not found out from the people she trusted the most (We don't know much either because the book is not from her POV, but it is assumed from her subsequent reaction), And while we understand the reasons behind keeping the secret, I'm not defending them, Feyre deserved to know from the beginning, that's clear. I brought up the topic because I know it is something that also causes debate in the fandom, but the point is that even if we don't count what happen before they were turn faes, there's still something that gives space for an apology, Especially because Nesta knows how much she screwed up that time.

If you're going to make a character screw up to that level and then literally make her reach her limit and still not take her to the thing that made her take an entire intervention then It misses the whole point of being a better person or even this kind of book

Sooo... Yk a little hey sorry to cause you a pain of a heart attack with the news that you and your baby might die 😬 (the fact than this would have been Even better that what happen it's Ridiculous).

She apologized to Amren, but not to Feyre like... what the hell?? Why does this make sense??? It has no sense, even if we argue that Rhys would kill her before letting her near his wife, it can easily be dropped because Feyre would have given her sister a pass if she had asked to talk in the first place. Rhys would have watched like a damn eagle (rightly so) and the entire IC would have been on full guard but it could be achieved.

So why on God's name that didn't fucking happen

This pisses me off because it's so much wasted potential.

I'll explain a little more bout how the arc would be much more completed in the next part, hope you're enjoying 🤗

[silverflameataraxia]

Yes, Nesta is meaner than Feyre and Elain.

But Nesta was also physically and emotionally abused when Feyre and Elain were not.

It's amazing how people lack empathy for a child who was abused...because they show signs of abuse.

Trauma from child abuse can result in the child having issues with trust, behavior, communication, and relationships. Victims may be aggressive, violent, and prone to drug and alcohol abuse or suicidal thoughts. They may also deal with anxiety and constant fear.

If I was the only one of my siblings to be abused and told I was worthless, I'd probably be mean to my siblings too.

Nesta is not the oppressor in Feyre's victimhood mentality. Nesta is the victim, as is Feyre.

[bookofmirth]

Hello Lele. Hope you're having a good day. I just wanted to ask what's your opinion on Feyre sending Nesta to the house of wind. I have seen people say that it's the same as Tam tam locking Feyre and while I don't agree with it I would love to know what you think

Yeah that's not the same. Not at all.

I can see why people think this, because sjm did not follow through on the self-destructive behavior that she had set Nesta up with in acofas. If she had, if we had seen Nesta go through withdrawal from alcohol or seen her craving more or dealing with that addiction, then I think it would be much easier for readers to understand that yes, going to the House of Wind was actually necessary for Nesta's sake.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - the fact that sjm equated Nesta's use of sex, and alcohol, and music alskdhjaklsjdklajsdkasd Fucking hell, NO. One of these things is not like the other and I cannot deal with the fact that someone let her write Nesta's behavior as if laying on the floor of her room and listening to some albums or dancing in the club was the equivalent of regularly drinking to oblivion. Just fucking no. It's been over a year and I'm still so annoyed that I can't fully articulate my thoughts on this.

With that said - I still don't think that these scenarios are the same because:

Nesta was not communicative. She cut her family off and was cruel when they tried to talk with her. She left them no choice but to force her into that conversation.

Nesta had a choice. She could have changed her behavior for the year or more that she was self-destructing. She should have changed her behavior, but instead Feyre and the IC enabled her. This is something I think the IC got wrong, enabling Nesta for so long.

Ostensibly, Nesta was taken out of one situation and put into another because her behavior was (supposedly) self-destructive. Whether she was actually self-destructive is another question based on what I said above, but the fact remains that Nesta was doing things that could have potentially harmed her.

And then in Feyre's situation:

Being in a romantic relationship puts different expectations on Feyre and Tamlin, than Feyre and Nesta had. Feyre was, for all intents and purposes, the Mom of the Archeron family and had that responsibility for years. Tamlin and Feyre were supposed to be partners, equals.

Feyre was openly communicative with Tamlin and told him what she needed. There was no reason for her to be distrusted or for her needs to be disregarded.

Feyre literally did not have a choice, she was physically locked in that house.

Tamlin locked Feyre in his house because of his own fear - it was not actually for Feyre's own good, it was 100% about Tamlin's need for control.

So yeah, if you look at the two situations, I can see how people might see both as:

I am doing this for your own good

BUT, in Feyre's case that was not true, she has all the High Lord's powers, she defeated Amarantha, she just wanted to be able to protect herself. Being locked in the Spring Court manor was in order to allay Tamlin's fears, not to actually protect Feyre.

Where with Nesta, there was actually potential harm to Nesta if they didn't step in. When they said "we are doing this for your own good", it was actually true in Nesta's case.

Again, if sjm had actually followed fucking through and shown the impact of alcoholism and substance abuse and we had seen the impact of those poor decisions on Nesta's wellbeing, then it would make much, much more sense how those two scenarios are different. Then it would be much easier for readers to understand why an intervention was necessary. I'm still annoyed as hell about how that was handled. But the intention between why Feyre and the IC did what they did, and why Tamlin did what he did, it's night and day. And I don't know how people don't see that, unless they try to argue that Nesta was doing just fine and dandy through the whole series and didn't need any sort of healing or help at all and it was totally fine for her to act the way she was.

[sirendeepity]

[ Chapter 3 ]

[ masterpost ]

A/N: big shout out to @sayosdreams for letting me fuck the system a little and lifting my mood and view of this chapter in the process, kudos <3

W/C: 2.7k

T/W: alcohol abuse, depiction of depression, suicidal thoughts

It was almost mid-morning when Nesta reached her place. Place that was her sister’s, but that was not the point. She’d eaten her scrambled eggs in quiet silence, alone while Cassian showered. The longest shower of his life, probably. Then she had politely refused his offer to drive her back home, making sure she convincingly pointed out that her sister shared a house with her fiancé, Rhysand, who happened to be also Cassian’s other best friend. He quickly understood where she was going with it, saving her the effort of explaining herself further.

Things couldn’t have been more fucked up, could they?

So she’d walked, for thirty minutes, in high heels.

Nesta had contemplated the idea of taking her shoes off halfway through and settled for a solid yes once she was far enough from the city center, walking barefoot for the second half of the way.

She didn’t knock or ring the doorbell, yet the blue-painted wood frame opened before her eyes. A tall man, with black blow-dried hair and eyes a weird shade of blue that seemed a lot like violet looked down at her. Nesta never believed the shade to be natural; there was nothing his daddy’s money couldn’t buy, and he desperately needed something to make him seem like an interesting person, or at least less boring. His gaze narrowed, lingered for a moment more - she held it with equal unpleasantness - and dropped lower, at her hands: one clutching her shoes by the heels and the other digging through her purse, looking for the keys.

“Nesta,” he said, smiling blatantly, “I heard your monologue from the other room. Impressive knowledge of curses, may I say.”

“Law school proved itself to be useful, after all,” she just commented, taking a step. He didn’t move to let her in, choosing instead to stay still as a pillar on the threshold.

She was in no mood for his tantrums, and she let him know that when she shouldered her way inside the villa.

He followed her, of course. He had to. Otherwise where would be the fun?

“You didn’t come home tonight.”

“How could you tell?” She remarked sarcastically.

“Hope you had a lot of fun with Gwyn and Emerie tonight,” he went on, “Feyre was worried sick.”

Nesta’s brain cut short for a moment. Hearing all three names in the same sentence made her blood run cold. She’d told her friend she wasn’t feeling well, that she would have gone home earlier. Home she’d never reached. If the girls had asked anything to Feyre-

“You could have at least pretended to acknowledge her messages, you know”, Rhysand said, bringing her attention back to the now.

“It would have had to ring first,” she said, looking at him for a moment before retrieving her phone. The screen was black and wouldn’t light up, no matter how many times she hit the home button. That explained a lot. Actually, it explained everything.

“It must’ve died out at some point. I get Feyre isn’t home now, so I’ll apologize to her once she’s back.” Nesta said, turning toward the stairs once again.

“Where have you been all night, Nesta?” Rhysand called after her, a not-so-veiled accusation in his tone.

“That would be none of your fucking business, Rhysand.”

She quickened her pace until she got to her room, pressing her back against the door and letting her body slid to the floor. Her brain was already overworking, mixing images and feelings and memories and possibilities. Past, present, and future had no distinction, the lines between them too blurred to be taken into account, when she whispered against the cold hands pressed on her face “Don’t fuck up again, Nesta.”

[ 1 year and a half before ]

It started as a normal knock, turning into a relentless beat after the first five times she didn’t get out of the bathtub to open the door.

“Nesta, we know you’re in there,” the person outside her apartment said. It was a familiar voice, yet she couldn’t quite remember who-

“It’ us, Nesta. Feyre and Elain. Your sisters, remember?”

Ah, that’s why she recalled who the voice belonged to.

“We’re worried about you,” a softer voice - Elain - said, “you’re not answering your phone anymore.”

Where was her phone?

Nesta slowly turned her head to the right, seeing no little black device on the floor tiles. Oh, well, people said technology was bad, anyway.

“Nesta, if you don’t open the door I-” said Feyre.

Nesta couldn’t grasp the rest of the sentence: she’d accidentally hit the bottle balanced on the edge of the tub while trying to lay down, making it fall to the floor. The sound of shattering glass ate up her sister’s words. Nesta didn’t look twice at what was left of it, or its brownish contents now running through the lines between the dirty tiles.

A moment after the front door locked open and steps shuffled on the ground.

“Gods-” said Elain, or Feyre, or both.

Nesta knew what they were so shocked about: leftovers of the past four days’ meals were on every surface available, along with empty bottles of various types of liquors. You name it, she’d drank it. She remembered stacking the first few in the kitchen sink, but it filled quicker than she had expected. The bathtub was bigger, but she needed it for her therapeutic water-free baths, so the floor itself became the best option.

She heard them moving around, clicking empty-and-not bottles, ruffling papers and boxes, and opening trash cans already full. Nesta only tugged the shower curtain close and shut her eyes. She rested her head against the wall: it was so very cold - as it should be mid-November with no heating turned on - and she felt like she could spontaneously combust, catching fire at any moment. Nesta hoped she really could.

Burn.

The steps became rushed as her sisters started to call her name, concern lacing every letter. The bathroom door flew open, the handle bouncing once against the wall as Feyre cleared the space in little to no time, throwing aside the curtain with so much force Nesta thought she’d ripped it from its rings.

Feyre couldn’t swallow down a full breath when Nesta met her eyes: they were wide and a lot like her own. Nothing was missing in them, though. Her sister scanned her face, then dropped her gaze to her wrists, her bare legs. She was looking for something and seemed relieved when she didn’t find it.

“Feyre did you-”, Elain said, stopping on her tracks once she set foot in the bathroom as well. She muttered something like gratitude to the Gods before flanking the younger sister in front of the tub. Nesta looked at her, too, before saying, “Get out.”

“What?”, Feyre asked.

“I said get out,” Nesta repeated herself, trying to sound as mean as she usually was, but since her sisters didn’t make a move, didn’t even flinch at her words, she guessed she didn’t have much venom left to spit.

“No,” Elain said,” you’re the one who’s getting out. Starting from this bathtub.”

She reached out her hand, her arm slicing the space between them. Two towers looking down a dead body. She left her hanging, didn’t meet her midway.

Feyre scoffed, her distress entirely gone, “We’ve spent the last three hours on a plane, rushing here just because-”

“I never asked you to,” Nesta said, turning back to look straight at the nothing in front of her.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me, Nesta.” The younger sister’s anger was turning into a palpable thing as she said, “no one had seen you or heard from you in the past week, they’re going to kick you out from the law firm because you didn’t show up once, this place is a fucking junkyard and you’re half-naked in an empty bathtub.”

Nesta saw her moving with the corner of her eye, heard broken glass creaking under her sister’s weight and the bottles in the sink clinked against each other as she grabbed one of them, ruining the precarious balance they were in. Still, Nesta didn’t move. She wasn’t sure her legs would keep her up, not with the pounding, ever-present headache she’d befriended lately.

Elain’s little voice did nothing to calm Feyre down because she kept going on saying, “Do you know how much of this shit we’ve found in your kitchen? Nine bottles, Nesta. Nine. There are four more here and Gods know how many more we would find in the rest of the apartment.”

“They weren’t full,” was Nesta’s only reply. Only three of them were, the rest were just thirds or quarters, what remained from the past five years of her life.

It happened before she could even realize what it really was, before she could give it a name, before she found herself unable to live through the night without at least two glasses of whatever liquor she felt like having. It was subtle, an ever-present shadow in the corner of the room, the kind of thing you wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t actively looking for it.

Nesta was a fast learner, so she quickly understood how to hide it well in plain sight: the first time she got wasted after Cassian left for one of his mission, she woke up with a terrible headache and called the office to take a sick day; the second time, she made sure to ask for a few more days off after his departure date; the third time she told her family she wasn’t feeling her best and she thought it was better if she stayed at home. During every occasion - it was dinner with friends and family or an evening spent alone in her apartment, even a night bent over papers for work, or just a quick lunch during mid-day break - there was just one certainty: Nesta Archeron with a glass rim between her lips.

“I don’t give a fuck!” Feyre screamed, making Elain flinch. “Look at you, Nesta. This is-” a pause, “When we saw a knife was missing I-” another pause. No, a full stop. A bottle falling, the sound absorbed by the carpet until it rolled on the tiles, then a sob - from which sister, she didn’t know.

Nesta only blinked and pulled her legs tight to her chest, pressing her closed eyes against her bent knees and folding her arms around herself.

Another sob - from which sister, no one knew. They were all crying.

“You can’t live like this,” Elain said, her voice breaking.

“I don’t want to live at all.”

[ 1 year and a half after, again ]

As soon as Nesta attached the phone to the charger and the screen lit up, it buzzed for three minutes straight. She managed to change into more comfortable clothes before the last one of the messages came in with a ding.

Plopping on the bed, she reached for the device and saw that most of the notifications had Feyre’s name on them. Tomas came close second, only by two missed calls. Nesta scrolled through her sister’s texts - mostly were “Where are you?” or “I’m worried” or “Please call me” but using different words every time. She’d talk with her as soon as she was home, Nesta decided. Apologies held no meaning if said through a phone.

She purposefully ignored Tomas’ messages, leaving them for last, and moved on to the next chat. It was the “DNFWTVBTWKYA⚔️⚜️🦄” group chat with Gwyn and Emerie. The full name - Do Not Fuck With The Valkyries Because They Will Kick Your Ass - had remained the same since the day they’d seen the mythological superhero-god film and developed a crush-slash-obsession for yet another side character, Valkyrie, spending the following two days deep researching everything they could about Norse Mythology as a whole. Nesta still remembered Gwyn’s disbelieving tone when she remarked “the audacity people have not to include a Pegasus emoji, like- the disrespect”. She’d had to settle for the unicorn’s one instead.

IQ+ADHD📚💫: Nes, your sister called me. I told her you were staying with us for the night. Please don’t do anything stupid

IQ+ADHD📚💫: Dying is also considered stupid

🌈✨Fruity✨🌈: Don’t listen to her and go do your thing, Tomas deserves everything

Nesta rolled on her back, thinking again about that night and cursing herself in every language she knew. Bringing the phone back to her face, she typed:

Bitch With An Attitude 💥: Sorry, battery died out. R u free this afternoon?

Not even a minute after, Emerie’s reply came in:

🌈✨Fruity✨🌈: I am now

🌈✨Fruity✨🌈: Tea’s hot right?

She just sent back a few laughing emojis before locking the phone again, Tomas’ texts still unread. Nesta needed to clear her head before talking with the girls, which would help her clear her already cleared head before confronting Tomas. Not that there would be much talking between them. She would play it cool until she was back in Hewn City, that was the only sure thing she knew. What she did not know was how things would go from then: would she tell him the truth? That she had cheated on him with her 10-years boyfriend - ex-boyfriend - she hadn’t really moved on from, apparently, and who also could have easily been the love of her life?

Or would she tell him she had cheated with a random guy with no name and no face and no shared past?

Would she tell him she had cheated in the first place?

Maybe she could just call it quit as Emerie had so strongly - and repeatedly - suggested, and blame everything on their incompatibility, the “it would have never worked out in the long run”, or some shit like that.

Her phone buzzed at her side, throwing Nesta back to the present. The number she eyed on the screen notification was not one of her contacts, and she understood why just once she unlocked the phone and read the message.

It was Cassian’s.

Nesta opened the profile picture, recognizing the shot: she’d snapped it during their trip to the zoo, while he was busy with an ostrich, too afraid of the “weird thing he was doing with his head” to break eye contact first. “It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing sunglasses, Nes. He’s staring right at my soul, he can see it, I know. What if our buddy here is a female and now is mad because I used the wrong pronouns? Special Forces soldier murdered by assassin ostrich at the zoo,” he had added right after she’d made fun of him. Nesta had laughed so much her face hurt by the end of the day. Just a few weeks after Cassian was gone again, called back to the front line, and she was left with nothing but memories.

She hit the exit button and finally read the message: it was a photo of her keys, with “forgot something?” written underneath.

Nesta cursed the universe and Cassian with it.

“If you hate me so much you could say it to my fucking face,” she said to no one but everything was listening to her at the same time.

* * *

Nesta was seated at the same place in the same corner of the same bar when Gwyn came in. She rushed to her, kissing her fondly on the cheek, and took her seat at the other end of the little squared table.

“I saw Emerie while walking here, she just needs to find where to park the car,” she said.

“That’s fine,” Nesta replied, then adding, “I already ordered cake for everyone.”

Gwyn gave her a conspiratory smile, but before a single word could leave her lips, Emerie slumped on the free chair between them.

She started her greetings but stopped mid-sentence as her gaze fell on Nesta’s hand.

To the six months of sobriety coin - her second one - that she was playing with while waiting to meet her dearest friends.

“Did you-”

“No,” Nesta interrupted her, not wanting to hear the condemning and pitiful words for a third time, “no, I didn’t drink anything.”

“Why is it out, then?” Gwyn asked, eyeing her cautiously. They both knew more than well how well Nesta guarded her secrets, and this one in particular was the biggest of them all. She wouldn’t dare risk it revealed if not for a very good reason.

“It is out,” Nesta began, feeling her resolution coming less with every breath she took, “because I broke a different rule.”

.

.

.

That's Cassian's PFP, because we all deserve a Can Yaman in our lives

.

.

.

Taglist: @confusedfandomslut @nestaspegasus @sayosdreams @bookstantrash @moodymelanist @starksravings @iddragyouwithme @thewayshedreamed @letstakethedawn @perseusannabeth @duskandstarlight @julemmaes @sv0430 @simpingfornestaarcheron @whoever-you-choose-to-love @whoreforgwynriel I have the memory of a goldfish sO let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist!

[vidalinav]

Firstly, no one wants a therapy book. These are books about Faeries. So no one is sitting wanting to read about withdrawals, puking, crying and screaming. Maybe a very SMALL contingent of readers. Not the majority. Nesta falling down the stairs, Nesta refusing to train, Nesta giving attitude to Cassian, that's it. That's the withdrawals. Since she is not a full blown alcoholic or a sex addict, there wouldn't be massive withdrawals. She is not Amy Winehouse.

Secondly, the intervention is done exactly for that reason--so she doesn't turn into Amy Winehouse. It's not 'implied' that she is having potentially dangerous sex with people who could hurt her. It's a fact. She says it herself. It's not 'implied' that she drinks too much. She says it herself. It's observed. The concern isn't that she is doing those things--no one is looking for her to become a sweet, celibate virgin. The concern is that she is doing these things TOO much. That's how you become an addict.

People in power, on whom she depends decided to step in and put an end to it. That's how interventions work. Especially since she decided to be completely dependent on them financially. If she had a job, then yes, no one can tell her what to do. You make your own bed and decisions, and that's what she did.

The whole 'sisterly' involvement--she was the person who cut everyone out. She cut out Feyre, then Elain, Cassian, Amren. It was her decision. What are they going to do? Did Elain not try to get involved in her life? Did she not invite her to Solstice? Elain was the only person who gave her a gift. Was it Elain or Nesta who decided that they didn't the other? As I recall, Nesta didn't acknowledge Elain on the street. She refused to participate. So should the sisters just take it? Accept the bullshit and keep the checks coming? Should Feyre and Elain just sit back and watch Nesta spiral out of control until she does become an addict and/or gets raped? or hurt? Yes, there comes a time when you are just fed up and Elain, or Feyre, are not obligated to coddle Nesta and let get do whatever it is that she wants to do, and watch her hurt herself.

I am aware of your opinions and you will never agree and I know you'll still insist that the IC is horrible and the sisters don't care. But honestly, they saved Nesta so there is that.

I sometimes don't know whether I should just delete these, because someone always write a whole ass aggressive post in the anons when you know you could just post it yourself. But sometimes I get a lot of joy out of these-- I wish you put this much energy in analyzing the actual text but alas.

Anyway, let me read.

Point 1: this is not a therapy book. I agree S/JM should stop writing about trauma.

Point 2: The intervention is done for exactly that reason--I argue that you don't know the reason and neither do I, and nor do I feel that S/JM does. You can definitely argue about addiction and where it leads, but I can argue that the text doesn't support that she has one or one that warrants an intervention beyond offering a support system, which then I ask why the intervention is there at all, since I know very well that characters do not have autonomy and this was an author's choice. I question S/JM's narrative decisions and how they are framed in the novel which is why I cannot support specific claims about characters.

Point 3: I already talked about this in a reblog. So I'm going to dismiss this one.

Point 4: If the intention on behalf of the writer is to show that they care, then... I got to see scenes where they care. It can't be speculation. It has to be concrete. If the goal is to show realism, then you have to show realistic consequences of trauma, the dirt of it all, and then also the push and pull of healing which arguably is not in here. You can show people being annoyed by her trauma, that's realistic but it's not realistic for someone to jump into an intervention. You know realistically, as in of this world, you cannot force anyone to be in a program without their consent, and they can leave at any time. Of course there are certain instances where this is not true, but it takes years to get people the healing or help for addiction/trauma that they need and if people don't want to heal well you can't do nothing about it. That's realistic.

If you are arguing that Nesta is rolling down a steep hill to nowheresville as it seems then... by all means it probably should take more than giving a gift at solstice, which doesn't make Elain nor Feyre look good that this is the height of trying. To go straight to intervention without convincing evidence that it's needed nor that they tried literally anything else is my point. So if the goal was to make the foundation for a sisterly relationship, I am not convinced. If the goal was to show they care, I am certainly not convinced.

The objective of any book is to convince the reader of something. If you did not convince a bulk of the readership, whether that be anti-Nesta's who are not quelled or pro-Nesta's who are not satisfied, then the writer did not convince well enough. Which is what I am saying specifically about the benevolence of the IC. That claim lacks contextual evidence. It is not about whether I like them or not. Who cares about that? I like interesting characters, I am arguing that if the author herself wanted me to believe they were "good" or morally righteous, she did not provide that basis. Actually she gave me a lot of evidence that they aren't. Which is fine, if it amounts to something. If doesn't then, S/JM wrote an unconvincing book.

Point 5: The book says that Nesta saved the IC, literally. The IC did not save Nesta, neither literally nor emotionally. That would mean they were directly involved or... empathetic and supportive, which I already said I'm not convinced and why that is. What saved Nesta and what made the majority of the book was the House, her friends, a goal, the Mother, and a romantic relationship. A support system. I can argue that. Anyone can argue that. For one, because the IC is notably absent for most of the book and when they're there they don't look great. Then you have to think why did S/JM make a relationship that is supportive and have that parallel the presence/absence of the IC who is blatantly not? Doesn't make them look great again. Interesting yes they are, but not benevolent.

~

Look, I'm assuming the point of sending me an anon is because you don't agree and you don't know what to do with that, but you also don't want to reblog and you want to make sure I see this post, because I probably wouldn't. It is totally within your right to argue. I love discussions even with people who do not agree with me. But I want to discuss things. So, give me contextual evidence. Give me lines, give me connections. Connect them dots. Once you have done this then hit me up and we'll discuss. Right now your argument is based on opinion alone. You think this. You think that. Purely speculative. It's not based on anything and therefore can't be argued well. For lack of a better way to say this, I don't care about your opinion. Opinions are not fact. They don't mean anything, they're as good as the people behind them. I want to discuss the text and how it works, and what it does, and how it's supported. The consequences of certain narrative decisions.

So, if you think the IC is supportive and justified and want to tell me specifically, show me how they are--by the book, how scenes are framed, what actions characters take along the path to the end. Not by what you know interventions are or because the idea of mental health/substance abuse issues is generally hard to deal with--that's not good enough. You cannot argue the text without using the text either in quote or paraphrasing or giving examples especially on a post where I am talking about the evidence and the lack of it. You said I wouldn't change my mind, you don't know that. I can certainly see something from your pov, but you have to do more than this.

You chose to leave an anon, so you either do the homework or you don't leave an anon with me.

[arinbelle]

I’m so torn and I just need to get this all out of my system once and for all. ACOSF Rant/Spoilers

I’m torn because In a real life intervention, it truly is this messy and painful for everyone involved. I just don’t know if I agree that this is how Nesta should be given her intervention. I am all for the stop to the alcohol, no more taverns, not staying in a poor area of the city (because it can be dangerous) and I am all for her working in the library, actually working in general because angry as she is, that’s good for her. It’s healthy. So is the oatmeal and eggs but I think I would have fought Cassian on the spot if he stopped me from having sugar. Let me sugar rush in peace.

I think training is good for her, but I also think it is VITAL that right now she straight up refuses and doesn’t do it until she wants to do it. I think it’ll showcase a turning point in her thought process that while everyone is screaming at me to do better, now I want it for myself too. Because Nesta has to want to heal, not her sister and her family to want it for her.

Elain is...yeah I don’t have words. I can’t tell if she isn’t interested or if we’re gonna see her in later chapters but for now...ugh. Feyre cares. She always has. Her communication skills need so much help though, but honestly, all three sisters do. And while I laughed when Nesta said she used Feyre’s HUSBAND’s money and that she was too busy shopping and doing household chores to remember her, I also got very upset with everything Feyre threw at her. For a long time. And maybe too long because I remembered, as much as I love Nesta, she’s said a lot of hurtful things to Feyre that I doubt she ever meant, but they stayed with her and affected her negatively for a long time. I think SJM is showing they really are that two sides of the same coin thing. Both are equally capable of hurting the other with their words and I have to remember that sometimes Nesta isn’t innocent, and neither is Feyre.

I actually didn’t hate Rhys and only because he said he’d stay out of it, we find out Feyre’s gonna yell at him for how he acted with Nesta (yes they hookup right after ignore that), and he admitted he’s scared of Nesta. Which I think is great.

I did on the other hand feel so many things for Mor and NONE of them good. I think it’s amazing that a survivor of torture and abuse wants another female to be subjected to a place where she barely escaped all of that. That she think’s it not only fitting but that Nesta would thrive in such a place. Does...does Mor look at Nesta and see this thin, depressed, always drinking barely living female and say, oh yes, she reminds me of the predators and abusers at the Hewn City? A twin and she’d fit right in? Genuinely there are not enough words to express how disgusted I am by Mor and how much it’s gonna take for me to like her ever again.

I think Cassian cares, irritated as I am with his POV and lines. Dare I say, he cares the most. He says that it makes him sick to think of how Nesta has become. I have not heard that from one person so far. His POV tells us that the meeting is to help her even if she thinks it’s an attack. And if Feyre and Cassian and perhaps Amren were the only ones there, I think Nesta might have believed it more. I think he believes that it was meant to help Nesta, in fact, I do think that everyone at the intervention did have the goal to help Nesta. This was not a we hate her let’s make her life horrible, but it definitely comes across that way and I can say for sure, if I were Nesta, I would feel so attacked.

Should Nesta be allowed to sort through her addiction to alcohol and her depression alone? No. In fact, I don’t think she ever should have been allowed to but I’m not gonna get into that right now. But do I think this was done in the best way possible for Nesta to feel that she is safe and can trust the people who are now all but pulling strings around in her life? No. She doesn’t feel safe, she’s lost her last choice that she could make by herself (her apartment, it says it in the text) and I think this is a shattering of the smallest bit of resolve she had.

So I know where the story is going for the most part, angry as it makes me right now, I haven’t been let down by SJM endings yet so I’m still hopeful. I feel very sad reading Nesta’s thoughts and how she feels helpless rand like she doesn’t belong anywhere right now. A part of it is that she’s never had agency in her own life, and while the booze and everything else wasn’t good for her, they were her own choices. We want her to be healthier, of course she should heal and stop the dangerous coping mechanisms, but right now as much as she needs the help, I can’t help but feel like this isn’t the best for her. It might be, and realistically, it probably will end up being so, but right now, she’s just drowning and nothing is getting better.

[theladyofdeath]

Lady Death's Lover {VI}

Lady Death's Lover Masterlist & Summary

19th Century Period AU Nesta x Cassian Secret Affair / Enemies to Lovers / Forbidden Romance Fanfiction / Characters from Sarah J Maas / ACOTAR Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous

A/N: Oh my word...I have had the most difficult time getting this up this week! I'm sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoy! Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, likes, and reblogs! x

TW: marital abuse, sexual content, language, depression, alcohol abuse

This story is for readers 18+. Mature readers only. Content should not be read by anyone under 18.

Dear Cassian,

I must admit that I am completely miserable in Adriata. It has rained all week so I cannot go to the ocean, which is the only thing worthwhile to do here. I have also found zero romantic partners which has brought the boredom to a new level of heinousness. I do not think I can stand this place for more than a fortnight. By the Cauldron, I do not think I can stand it for another day. Perhaps I will cut my trip short. 

Do have enough diabolical fun for the both of us in my absence, will you? If I know you are causing chaos, that is enough for me for now.

Your Favorite,

Mor 

P.S. Try not to attempt to philander with any more married women. It’s very ungentleman-like. 

Nesta

My gowns are lovely.

The modiste has truly outdone herself. There are four in total and each matches the other but has its own personality. The fabrics are all deep blues and grays, meant to bring out my eyes. They are the colors I am most comfortable in. In fact, most of my wardrobe consists of blues and grays but no one has complained about it thus far. 

After transferring payment, my gowns are loaded into my carriage. Before making my way back home, I take advantage of the time alone and make my way down the street to my favorite bakery. I’ve never been one for sweets but they make the best macarons in Velaris and I cannot help but buy a box whenever I visit the modiste. 

It is when I’m coming out of this bakery that I see him.

For a moment, I forget how to walk. Every elegant thought vanishes from my mind and I am suddenly all too aware of the giant box of sweets in my hands. 

I pray he doesn’t see me and for a moment I feel I will get away with it, but then he turns from where he walks across the street and halts when he catches my eye. For a moment, we both stand there, staring at one another. 

Then the world around me comes back to life.

The city streets around me resume, full of life. Carriages hurry past and people rush in and out of the shops. The sky above, recently clear and bright, opens up and the softest of rains falls down upon me and my macarons. 

He still stands just across the street, watching me, although his head has since cocked to the side and a grin has begun spreading across his lips. A sudden sense of embarrassment floods me. I must look foolish, standing here in the rain with a box of baked goods while everyone around me starts to run to safety from the turn in weather. 

Oh, gods. 

He’s coming towards me.

“Lady Nesta,” he begins when he’s halfway across the street, “your dress. You should find cover.” 

I find my voice. “Ah, Mr. Nazari. Yes, I, um…yes.” 

I go to turn on my heels but, in true Lord Cassian fashion, he steps in front of me just before I can get far. “A lady should never be caught in the rain.”

“If it were not for you blocking me I would be well on my way to shelter, my lord.” I try not to sound too demeaning, but I cannot help myself. Every now and then that tone just seeps out and there is nothing I can do to stop it. 

He finds this funny, apparently. A chuckle escapes him and he nods. “Apologies. Good day, Lady Nesta.”

Not Lady Mandray.

Lady Nesta.

I somehow like it better coming from him, like it better than the title the rest of the ton refers to me as.

Lord Cassian steps aside and I go to stroll past him, but I stop when he begins to walk behind me. Turning, I lift a brow. 

He stops and rocks back on his heels. “Do not fear, I am not following you. I walked here and now must walk home, which is this direction. That is all.”

“How far do you have to walk?” I ask, the rain picking up. I worry more for the well-being of my macarons than my hair. 

“A little more than a mile, it’s no worry,” he says, shrugging, then continues on his way.

I hesitate, knowing I shouldn’t ask what I’m about to but asking it anyway. 

“Would you care to join me?” I ask, and he freezes, his back to me. “It seems we’re going the same direction and you should not have to walk in the rain. It seems a storm is brewing. You wouldn’t want to catch a cold.” 

Lord Cassian looks up at the dark clouds, the rain falling directly onto his face as he squints. He looks back to me, his face searching mine, but then he asks, “Are you certain? I don’t mind a little rain.”

Thunder rolls and lightning strikes, and I nearly drop my macarons. I swear it’s purely for my benefit when he clears his throat and says, “It would be a pleasure to join you, Lady Nesta.” 

I nod quickly as a downpour begins and hurry to my coach up the street. By the time I throw myself inside, my dress is drenched and my hat is drooping. Lord Cassian is in no better condition as he slides onto the bench across from me, his jacket drenched and his trousers sticking to his thighs. 

My breath catches at the sight of him and I suddenly feel foolish. It should be impossible for a man to look more dashing sopping wet, but he somehow manages to. That ridiculous, shoulder-length hair of his is soaked and dripping into his cravat. I don’t realize I’m staring until I meet his eyes, and suddenly I’m all too aware of every inch of my body and his. My cheeks turn pink and I have to clasp my hands together to keep them from shaking. 

The carriage jolts as it begins its journey and it makes me jump, which makes Lord Cassian grin…although he tries to suppress it. This was a mistake. That’s what I get for trying to be nice. This very thing reminds me why I do not do nice things often. Nice things always come back to bite me in the ass.

. . . . . . . . . 

Cassian

Lady Nesta looks equally stunning and uncomfortable, although her discomfort is not the type of discomfort that causes alarm. No, it’s the type of discomfort that tells me she does not do this often.

I do not know much about this woman but I do know that she’s not exactly…personable. I’ve heard what other women of the ton think about Nesta — Mor brought the gossip to our recent Monday tea time and I have a feeling Rhys put her up to it — and it’s not good. In fact, the ladies of Velaris think Lady Nesta to be brutally honest and permanently bitter. I, however, value honesty and think a certain level of self-hatred and introverted nature can be mistaken for anger or bitterness. 

Not that it should matter.

After my last encounter with Nesta, I vowed never to be around her again. Especially alone. Yet, the second I saw her stepping out of the bakery with a box-full of what seems to be macarons, my feet decided my thoughts should be damned and acted of their own volition. Before I could fully comprehend what I was doing, I was standing in front of her.

Now, I’m alone with her yet again, stuck in a coach as it rattles down the cobblestone. Outside, it’s pouring as it often does in the spring, and all I can think about is how her eyes keep drifting to me. 

I’m trying to also be inconspicuous about where my eyes are wandering, but from the way her pale cheeks are turning pink, I don’t think I’m doing it properly. 

Her light blue dress is clinging to her skin and I can’t ignore how her breasts are even further on display behind the soaked fabric. It doesn’t help that her chest is rising and falling, rapidly, as if she’s had a difficult time catching her breath since entering the confined space that surrounds us.

“You’re having a ball soon,” I say, because I’m not sure what else to say but I know that we can’t keep sitting here in silence, me trying my best to avoid the swells of her breasts, the way I can see her peaked nipples through the wet cotton.

“I am,” she says, voice soft but firm. “Will you be in attendance?” 

I clear my throat. “Yes. Thank you for the invite.”

I neglect to mention that I originally did not plan to attend, that being in the same room as her is too tempting and I’m currently going mad, but my brothers coaxed me into going. 

She gives me a curt nod before taking a deep breath and letting her eyes wander towards the closed window. I swallow, cursing as my eyes take another dive to her chest and back up again. Once the silence becomes too heavy, allowing my thoughts to run rampant and inappropriately wild, I ask, “Do you do this often?”

Nesta’s eyes snap to mine and she blinks. “Do what?”

“Come into town on your own,” I say, and I watch as she swallows and clenches her jaw. “Not even a maid with you? Isn’t that unbecoming?”

Her eyes narrow and if it wasn’t for the quick rise and fall of her chest, the way her skin is flushed, I would think she was offended and not something else entirely. “Are you implying that I do not live my life as a lady should, my lord?” 

“I’m implying that it is simply not safe for you to be traveling alone,” I say, and she watches as I run my hands down my thighs, trying to eliminate my sweaty palms. It does not work. “You never know others’ intentions when they see a woman alone.”

“It is the middle of the day,” she says, meeting my eye once more. “And I have my driver.”

“Still.”

We stare at one another for just a moment, but that moment is filled with so much silent, skin burning tension that I feel the need to loosen my cravat, shrug off my coat, but I don’t. I let it suffocate me, let her gaze strip me bare instead. 

If I slouched in the slightest, my knees would nearly graze hers. Suddenly the space between us seems so short, too short to make any rational decisions. This was a mistake. I should have stayed on my own damn side of the street. I should have walked. 

“Is that what this is, then?” she asks, and I blink.

“Pardon?”

“Do you have poor intentions, my lord?” she asked, clasping her hands on her lap. I swear they’re trembling.

“Need I remind you that you were the one that offered me a ride in your coach?” I ask, then add, “my lady.”

Her lips part, and it’s so slight that one has to be watching them intently to have seen it, which I am.

She shifts on the bench, words seeming to have left her. It’s the silence that makes me say, only because I cannot stand silence and I’ve already seemed to have dug myself into a hole of wickedness, “Perhaps it is you that has poor intentions.” 

Her head leans to the side, which is somehow unladylike and beautifully cunning at the same time, and the smallest of smiles plays on her lips. There’s no joy in this smile, only a cruel seduction that has my trousers holding back my hardening cock. Now it’s my turn to shift, and she notes it, those dark eyes trailing down until they’ve settled on my lap. Her eyes flare before snapping back up to mine.

“I am a lady,” she says, simply. “Ladies do not have poor intentions, only charitable ones. What kind of lady would I be if I were to let a gentleman walk through a downpour?” 

“Indeed,” I say, and I cannot even help how rough my voice suddenly sounds. 

This is ridiculous. I feel like I have never been around a woman before, or like I am once again sixteen and around a woman for the very first time. Furthermore, she’s married. This is highly inappropriate, but I seem to have lost control.

No.

That’s not entirely true.

If I had lost control her dress would be torn to shreds and I’d have her lying beneath me on this bench, worshiping every inch of her body beneath. 

“I am grateful,” I add, and she nods her head politely in response. I stay in control until a wheel hits a dip in the road and our bodies jostle, and we touch.

My knee hits hers and her foot lands on mine as she tries to stop herself from toppling forward. I don’t even realize my hand is on her leg, just above her knee, until we both look down at it.

I don’t move it.

She doesn’t ask me to, nor does she move at all. All that moves is the rapid rising and falling of her chest — a chest that my eyes are in perfect line with. Mustering every ounce of self control that I have, I go to lean back, to settle myself once again on the opposite bench until this torturous ride is over, but I don’t make it far.

Just as I move, Nesta places her hand on top of mine and I freeze. She’s looking at me wildly, searching my eyes for something. I don’t think I’m breathing at all. I have no thoughts in my mind whatsoever. All I can focus on is her intent eyes, her hand on mine, my hand on her skirts, her lips that are parted and begging to be kissed.   

Neither of us says a word.

“Just—“

Whatever she’s about to say evaporates as the coach slows and when it jerks to a stop, reality steps back in.

Nesta snatches her hand from mine as if she’s been burned and I take the hint, pulling myself back just as the door opens and I’m looking at the front door of my townhouse.

Not wanting to keep the poor lad standing in the storm, I take my leave and hurry to my front door, drenching myself further. I don’t look back at Nesta. I have a feeling she doesn’t want me to.

I have a feeling that whatever she was about to say, whatever would have happened if we just kept driving, would have surely led to utter regret.

Before I shut my door behind me, I watch Nesta’s carriage roll away, gone into the storm.

Calling for my butler, I beg for a drink to calm my still pounding heart. 

[imwritingthesewords]

Let me tell you, if I was in the Inner Circle. I would be giving a huge hell no to the whole group and backing up my bitch Nesta.

Call it like I see it, and tell every single one to fuck off. Their behavior was gross!

Don’t get me wrong I know Nesta needed a intervention but she did it wrong, Feyre did it wrong. Hell Elain did it wrong!!!!

I also think there is a problem with SJM and writing siblings at least the Archeron sisters. I’m pretty sure she does not have any?

She writes like Feyre doesn’t know her sister, even though she has lived with her, her entire life. And yes even if Nesta is “mean” to her and closed off from her sister there is no way Feyre could not have known Nesta. There is just a way of knowing things when you live and grow up with somebody. Whether or not you know what goes on in their head. And this goes for Elain too! Bc fuck Elain with how she treated Nesta, Nesta was there for her

She saw how her sister reacted to her father and the spiraling downfall of their family. I’m not close to and fight with one of my siblings but I do know them.

The unrealistic standard that they hold for her healing, how long it takes. For Cassian it took what 10 years to heal or to be okay? And Nesta is taking too long?

And “oh I don’t know how to help her she’s mean to me! And pushes me away” You are all 500 years old and you are getting upset over a 24 year old women who is still trying to come to terms with everything and figure out how to cope.

Rhys and Feyre have so much power in the Night court and you are telling me they could not have talked to the bar owners/clubs or whatever and told them not to serve her alcohol or let her in? Or done something to block it?

I don’t know. I am just ranting at this point. I did like the book just somethings make me angry. I know she’s happy but damn.

My girl deserved so much better and shame on them.

Oh, and don’t get me started on Mor! Nesta belongs in the court of Nightmares? She has never even done anything to you Morrigan. I cannot find where she abused or was mean to you. Or barely spoke more than 10 words to you. But she belongs in the court of Nightmares? And even if it was because of Feyre, the court of nightmares is extreme for not going into the woods to hunt.. come on

Wow! Okay now I’m done

[grumpy-grandma]

so I finally finished A Court of Silver Flames, and I don’t know how I feel dudes.

contains spoilers:

First, I truly did not like the first 150-250 pages of this book. We see Nesta has become a raging alcoholic and in major depression. Her sisters only way to her is by making an ultimatum, either train and work or be dumped off into the human world.

I really absolutely hated the scene of which Rhysand and Feyre received Nesta most recent bill. Rhysand did not have to read off every charge to Feyre as if he is punishing her. I felt like that conversation about Nesta’s treatment should have been in private. Also when they had Nesta’s intervention, Amren, Cassian, and Rhysand should have not been there.

Second, I highly enjoyed the book after page 300! We see Nesta truly dive into character development. She builds friendships and a romance with Cassian. Watching Nesta grow was amazing! I did not like at all how SJM made Nesta a scapegoat for everything. We see this tiny moment where Nesta faced childhood trauma and abused. She talks over and over again about how her sisters were favored in their parent's eyes, and Nesta was only there to continue the wealth of their family. What’s so disappointed is either of her sisters acknowledges that either! I became so frustrated reading how Nesta believe it was all her fault because of her attitude.

Does Feyre even know about Nesta’s experiences?! No. Elain doesn’t even seem to know the full extent. I do not like Nesta’s father. I don’t think he should of been buried as a hero for naming ships of his daughters. Yes, Nesta definitely had her villain moments, but I wish we learn more about Nesta!! I wanted the full background story. We only got tiny bits with a lot of plot holes.

Lastly:

The ending was satisfying but very unsatisfactory. I thought it was the dumbest fight between Cassian and Nesta to create drama. I wish it was better. The great rite, loved love loved!! The friendship between Gwyn, Nesta, and Emerie just beautiful! How Nesta allows her friends to win and kills of the last of bad guys. I literally don’t understand most of crone queen stuff. I will need more time to process that.

The birth, hated. I wish SJM waited till the next book with that! I think if she ended it after the great rite and Nessian making up. Prefect. In the next book, we should see more detail of the wedding and the birth. The birthday seemed so rush and out of place. I know SJM doesn’t want her main characters to die, but the scared/drama factor of death is done. I swear if there is another character that dies but doesn’t die. I will scream.

The end just felt so rushed. I wish the resolution between Rhysand, Amren, and Nesta was better!! Amren never apologize for voting that important information containing the person should be hidden. Rhysand never apologize to Nesta about his behavior and treatment. Rhysand apologize to everyone else but Nesta.

Plus Amren, Rhysand, and Feyre character changes so much!! Rhysand wend from no secrets or lies after the mating bond to hiding the biggest secret ever! Not just hiding, but telling everyone in the IC and making them also keep the secret! Amren seemed to be the calm moderate of the IC, but then became an icy and selfish. Feyre who was a badass, just became a mom. I am worried but not holding my breathing for the next book. 

[hireath24]

Everything Wrong with ACOFAS: A Rant  Part Four

Disclaimer: This is the fourth and final part of this series and will continue from pages 151 to 229. Part one can be found here. Part two can be found here. Part three can be found here. These page numbers come from the UK paperback edition of A Court of Frost and Starlight. This is my own opinion of the book - the writing, the grammar, the characters, etc. I won’t be commenting on anything that may have been plagiarized or that has been ripped off from the history of other cultures as SJM has a tendency to do. However, if there is something you pick up on about these subjects, feel free to comment them and I will add them to the post with credit. If you disagree with my opinions, I’m sorry and hope you see the error in your ways.

Page 152: ‘...felt like a decadence.’ I’m sorry, felt like a decadence? That’s not how you use that word.

Page 153: Feyre is drawing Rhys in the nude and all I can think of is draw me like one of your french girls Jack. 

Page 154: Whilst I’m happy that SJM is showing everyone suffering from a hangover because of all the drinking they did in the previous chapter, I want to know why Feyre couldn’t just use her magic to get rid of hers. And everybody else’s. If she’s said that she could use her magic to remove the pain of grief, why can’t she do this? 

Page 155: The paragraphing in this book is so messed up. I’m going to type out this little bit exactly as it is printed in the book, look: ‘But two massive figures filled the archway of the dining room, and Rhys paused.

Azriel and Cassian, having crept up on cat-soft feet, were also wearing their Illyrian leathers.

And from their shit-eating grins, I knew this would not end well.’ What is this? It’s such a mess. 

Page 155: ‘Tradition indeed.’ 

Page 156: Everyone keeps going on about how wealthy the Night Court is and I still don’t understand where they’re getting their money from. Do the people of the Night Court have to pay tax? Does Rhys have an amount of money that he puts back into Velaris for the upkeep of it? And why is Feyre saying that ‘paperwork could wait’? Uh, no. No, it can’t. The people of her court can’t spend the Solstice like she is because their homes are wrecked, they’ve lost family members. Feyre abandons her duties as High Lady to fuck around with friends and we’re supposed to believe that she’s a decent ruler? I don’t think so.

Page 164: ‘What is.’

Page 165: So Rhys upset Tamlin when he went to go and yell at the poor sod over in Spring Court a few chapters back and it upset Tamlin so much that it made him throw out all of Lucien’s clothes because he ‘wishes to remain in solitude’? So, basically, this was all Rhys’s fault and he doesn’t face any consequences for it. 

Page 167: I’m so happy that Elain is making it very clear that she doesn’t want a mate, but I wish Feyre would stop going on about how good of a male Lucien is to her. And she says to Elain ‘You couldn’t say a single word to him’ as if it’s Elain’s job to make him feel comfortable? Elain wants nothing to do with him! Feyre needs to stop pressuring people. 

Page 167: ‘Solstice. It was Solstice.’ WHY

Page 168: Aaaaand they’re drinking again. Feyre abandoned her work for friends and alcohol. I’m not okay with it but I’m even less okay with how common and casual wine is used here. 

Page 169: ‘Tell me what.’ 

Page 171: ‘Illyrian babies indeed.’ 

Page 172: Do you remember a couple of years ago when high school AUs were all the rage in fanfiction? That is what this book reads like, only high school AUs managed to make me cry on a few occasions. 

Page 172: So it’s an ‘Illyrian custom’ for the heated shed, birchin, and a bunch of naked warriors ‘sitting in the steam, sweating’. But... Why? And can somebody please tell me what a birchin is? 

Page 178: One of the characters gets red sexy underwear as a present, which is fine. But in a kid’s book? No, no, no, no. No!! A twelve year old could be reading this! What the fuck? 

Page 179: ‘Against the onslaught of Nesta.’ Wow, SJM is really trying her hardest here to villainize Nesta. 

Page 184: ‘rare, vibrant paint from the continent.’ This line was just thrown in here without any explanation at all! Why is the paint rare? How did Azriel get it from the continent? Why is it only available on the continent? 

Page 193: These last couple of pages really did it for me with Cassian’s character. He follows Nesta home after she says she doesn’t want him to? He yells at her and tells her to ‘go somewhere else’ even though he knows she can’t? He reaches for her hand after she’s told him many, many times to leave her alone? This is creepy. This is stalker behavior. And if they get together (which we all know that they will), this is fucking borderline abuse. It’s controlling and toxic and unhealthy, which could be said about all of SJM’s romances but heigh ho. 

Page 194: What is ‘faelight’? 

Page 201: ‘Would it indeed be a gift for you?’ 

Page 201: Also, why is the mountains with the stars the Night Court’s symbol? What’s the history behind it? 

Page 201: Feyre’s toes have ‘curled’ three times in this book and I’m just thankful that the Fae can’t develop arthritis.

Page 202: I can’t... I can’t read this sex scene. I can’t do it. It’s too much. ‘My breasts turned achingly heavy.’ OH MY GOD. Not only is this a kid’s book but.... It’s also just disgusting. 

Page 202: ‘Brazen possessiveness.’ This can’t even be read as sex positivism  anymore. It’s violent, possessive smut. Did somebody say BDSM? (Wait, wait. BDSM requires consent and safe words.) Also, if you want to write about sex positively then talk a bit about protection? And consent? And making sure that everyone is comfortable? And for goodness sake, don’t add this to a kid’s book. I made a post that goes into more detail about this here.

Page 204: ‘How you let me do such naughty, terrible things to you.’ FUCKING WHAT?! DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW BAD THIS IS?!??!

Page 205: ‘Undiluted, utter predator’ You cannot look me in the eye and tell me that this was SJM’s attempts at adding in some sex positivity. To be honest, I’m, starting to think that this whole book was just fan service. SJM knew that her readers wanted the wall scene and here we have a whole book dedicated to the build up of it. NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS FUCKING BOOK!

Page 206: Rhysand just climaxed at a picture of his child. 

Page 209: It’s incredibly sweet that Rhys bought a house for Feyre. Really, no, it is. And the ‘build a nursery, Feyre’ is also sweet. But A) the money side of things needs explaining. B) Why does nobody want to be at the House of Wind and what’s the point of even having it if nobody uses it? C) Rhysand bought Feyre a house when many of his people are currently homeless due to the wars... Right. 

Page 211: At this point, Rhysand should just leave Tamlin alone. I don’t care what his intentions were. And seriously, is this the way that High Lords act with each other? There should be guards there, there should be people there to protect their own High Lord. There should be advisors and- What does the Fae government look like? What are the rules? Is there a jail? A judge? The High Lords act like spoiled, rich children. 

Page 214: ‘Alive. It was all alive.’

Page 214: Mor has an estate that sits on ‘three hundred pristine acres.’ I want to know the geography of the courts. Yes, I know, we have a map. But that’s all we have. I want to know about borders (and if there are physical borders that need to be guarded to stop people from coming in to separate courts). Is a passport thing or even papers required to travel between courts? Buckingham Palace has 39 acres of land, including what it sits on. Did SJM do any research? There are whole countries smaller than three hundred acres. 

Page 215: ‘She didn’t want to take his joy away from him. Anymore than she already did.’ Mor feels guilty about her sexuality because she won’t be with Azriel and, somehow, fans of the book are okay with that. 

Page 222: This may just be me being stupid but I’m confused about ‘Illyrian.’ Rhysand said their children would be Illyrians, Feyre calls him an Illyrian baby. They wear Illyrian leathers and follow Illyrian customs but here: ‘Some part of him was Illyrian still. Always would be. Even if he wished to forget it.’ What does this mean? I’m so confused. 

Page 222: Do you know what might be a better act of feminism then having girls train to fight? Having the boys of all the camps be allowed to leave. Being allowed to stop fighting and go and have families. 

And that’s it from me, folks! I’ve read this book twice now and my opinion hasn’t changed. It’s boring, problematic, addresses things very poorly. It’s too sexual, there’s too much talk about alcohol and sex. And it really did nothing at all. 

Thank you for joining me on this little series! It’s definitely been interesting. Again, if there’s anything that I’ve missed then tell me and I shall write it in. I may do this again with more of SJM’s books but it’s surprisingly time consuming.