#nervous about my vacation and finances if i break up!

[fleastinger]

My nerves are really taking over me today

[bittercandysweetrain]

you’re gonna be a dad Tokyo Revenger’s reaction

(Part 1 this is the reaction to reader telling their BF that they are gonna be a father aged up) 

Shinichiro - There was no denying Shinichiro was a good man especially with taking care of his younger siblings. he took good care of them, he had a great job, he treated you like a queen so why was it that you were so nervous to tell him? because you weren’t expecting to get pregnant there was no planning the little bundle of joy. which meant there was a lot of things to talk about especially with finances and where you both stood in your relationship.  walking into the bike shop shinichiro was sitting on a crate drinking with Wakasa, and Benkei. “hello boys” y/n said she held a bag in her hand with some snacks “The misses has decided to join us today come sit we have enough beer.” Benkei said “oh no thank you I am here for a different reason can I steal Shin from you?” she asked “of course just don’t beat too much sense in him we need his brain for later.” wakasa joked Shin stood up placing his beer down “pray for me if its about me leaving my uniform at the front door.” he teased walking to his office with his lovely girlfriend as soon as the door shut he kissed her wrapping his arms around her waist as he pulled her in. “you missed me already” he said leaving peppered kisses all over her face “Its more like a small vacation when your working” she teased. “oh? I should stay out more then” he said pulling back he leaned against his desk. “are you okay?” he glanced at her worriedly “well I need to talk to you about something I been hiding this for a while now a month I didn’t know what to do or say I just got scared.” she said Shinichiro now was even more worried “y/n what happened” he became more attentive towards her. “I know I messed up a few times, I’m messy, I’m not home a lot, I get tired so I don’t spent enough time with you but I can make more time I’ll change.” he explained “No, no shin its not that I mean maybe it will be that but listen I-I” she took shinichiro’s hands in her own “I’m pregnant.” she said Shinichiro body froze he took a few seconds to comprehend what she was telling him “you’re pregnant?” he asked y/n nodded “yeah i’m a month now” she said. Shinichiro pulled her into a hug practically pulling her off her feet “I thought you were gonna break up with me I was so scared this is great news!” he said happily “your gonna have my baby, MY baby” he exclaimed “your happy?” y/n asked for confirmation “Of course I am! I love you and even though we are not married, your the one I wanted to spend my life with, no one could make me happier than you.” he said y/n was filled with elation this was perfect they could start their life and she couldn’t have picked a better person than to do it with.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi! I just wanted to let you know I really love your blog. I turn 24 this month and I am getting a financial advisor for the first time in my life this month. I’m nervous yet really excited, I have a “scarcity mindset” mindset when it comes to money and when I go to treat myself I sometimes believe I don’t deserve it. I believe I deserve nothing but the best in this life and I am the only one responsible for my finances. Is there any way for me to break this mindset and not see money as the enemy?

Hi love! Thank you so much <3 

Happy early birthday, and congratulations on the adult milestone! You sound like a very responsible and self-aware person, which only can serve you. 

The scarcity mindset, especially around money, can be extremely difficult to break away from – especially if you grew up with less money or parents who also felt guilty for spending it. Try to reframe your money mindset with this understanding: Money is a tool that doesn’t hold inherent value but can be leveraged to help you obtain value and valuable opportunities or resources in your life. So, while saving and investing are important to obtain things like peace of mind and security to ensure your basic needs are met (especially in the event you lose a source of income), the purpose of money is to add value to your life. Sometimes, this means being on the frugal side and cutting back on your spending to pay rent, bills, medical insurance, food, electricity, etc. However, there are other times when the most valuable thing you can do for yourself, once your basic needs are met, is to invest in items, services, or experiences that provide growth opportunities in all life arenas and allow you to expand your consciousness/life experiences– therapy, a massage, a new outfit that makes you feel like a rockstar, a great meal with loved ones, a vacation to reset your body and mind. Think about the ROI on these indulgences – better mental health, physical health, and overall fulfillment or sense of well-being. In the long run, these short-term purchases might even help you make more money down the line (e.g. You splurge on that vacation and new outfit now, so you ace the job interview and get an offer that provides a significant raise from your previous position). 

Forgo the black-and-white mindset that money is limited and only exists to be conserved. You need to put your money to work (which can take on many forms) to make it work for you. Once you have your needs and an emergency fund in place, leverage this abundance to invest in other financial opportunities and means that enrich your life. Remember you deserve it. You quite literally owe it to yourself. 

Hope this helps xx 

[justcourttee]

The Never Ending Cycle of Proposals

This is a continuation of this post and the idea was presented by @mystery-5-5 . I was so excited to finish it and hope you like it! :)

This was not how it was supposed to go.

Damian had made sure of it. He found and destroyed every contingency plan that Jason and the others had formed. He flew Marinette back to Paris, to her parent’s bakery so that they could be a part of the moment. There should be no possible way things could go sideways.

Clearly he had underestimated the members of Date Duty.

“-and then Marinette fell down the stairs! Can you believe it? It was her big debut at the Wayne Gala as Damian’s girlfriend and this girl got so nervous that she tripped over her own two feet.”

“That’s our Marinette. As graceful as ever.”

A boisterous laughter filled Damian’s ears as the bakery door snapped shut behind him. Checking his watch, he tried to recall how long he had been gone. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes. How did Jason get to Paris?

“Oh! Damian sweetie, look who just flew in to check in on us and low and behold, he didn’t even know that you and Marinette had the exact same thought! How crazy is that?”

Damian plastered on his best fake smile as his eyes attempted to burn Jason’s smirk off his face.

“Very crazy indeed Sabine. Do you mind if my brother and I excuse ourselves for a moment?”

“Oh! Not at all, we should really be getting ready to open anyways. Please, feel free to head up to the apartment. Marinette should be back from Alya’s soon, but make yourselves at home boys.”

They both nodded as Damian stalked behind Jason, forcing him to take the steps two at a time. As Jason threw open the door, he finally released the laughter that he had been holding back.

“I really didn’t think you were going to make it. If you actually had any powers, I would’ve been scared for my life down there.”

“I don’t need powers to kill you Todd.”

Jason reached out to ruffle Damian’s hair, his smirk only fueling the smaller boy’s rage.

“What are you doing here Todd? This was supposed to be a relaxing vacation for Marinette to see her parents. You are neither relaxing or her parents.”

“Oh don’t be coy with me Dami, I know what you’re really here for, we all do in fact. Did you really think you could get away with proposing to Marinette without getting through us first? You only tore up some fake plans, plans meant to lure you into revealing when you were going to propose. Considering how quick you were to get Marinette on a plane without saying goodbye tells me you plan on doing it this week.”

Damian counted backward from ten as he tried to consider all of his options left. He had taken into consideration that the plans could be fake, but there should’ve been no way that they could’ve tracked him to Paris. He paid in cash at the airport for the tickets and flew economy, economy for crying out loud!

“I thought your whole little club was to protect Marinette from heartbreak, there was no mention of protecting her from proposals.”

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong Damian.” The look on Jason’s face was unnerving to say the least, but Damian refused to back down. This was his girlfriend, his soon to be finance, and the only woman he wanted to love for the rest of his life. There was no way he would let some street rat like Jason stop him.

“I refuse to allow you to ruin this Todd.”

“Allow implies that you think you have control over this and I can assure you that you don’t. Marinette will not be leaving Paris with a ring on her finger, marriage is out of the question. You are lucky that we have allowed you two to be together for so long. You are too dangerous for her demon spawn and marriage places an even larger target on her back than the one she already has.”

“Are you prepared to be defeated protecting your ideals Todd?”

“Are you Damian?”

Damian felt the low growl in the back of his throat itching it’s way forward. He was so close to Jason’s face, he could end this right here and now, throw him in the guest room and never look back.

“Damian? Jason? What are you two doing here? And alone at that?”

Both turned their attention to the door where Marinette stood, a sheepish expression on her face as if she could feel the tension radiating off the two men.

“Hey princess! I was just stopping by to check in on your parents and I definitely had no idea that you and Damian were here! You two lovebirds should’ve told someone before running off to Paris like that.”

Jason pulled Marinette into a tight hug, sticking his tongue out behind her head at Damian.

“Well, I did. I told Adrien just in case anything happened.”

One look at Jason’s smug expression and Damian knew. One little blonde went racing to his brother before he and Marinette had even boarded the plane.

“Oh that’s good then, I’m glad someone knew. I’ll leave you two alone now, after all, I have places to be and people to see and I’m sure you have a wonderful vacation planned for Damian here.”

Marinette nodded with little enthusiasm as she waved bye to Jason, locking the door behind him.

“Damian, what was that about?”

He shook his head as he pulled her forward placing a small kiss on her forehead.

“I wish I knew habibti.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Damian was on full alert for the next couple of days, unable to relax and enjoy his time with Marinette’s family for fear that one of his nemesis would pop out at any moment and steal the ring hidden safely inside his coat pocket. Every once in a while, he would find his hand absentmindedly searching for the box, just as a reassurance that it was still there.

He wasn’t scared of the members of Date Duty, but he was scared that the moment that he had planned out for so long would be ruined by a handful of imbeciles.

“Oh look! It’s Chloe and Luka! I didn’t know they were in town.”

Damian's attention became hyper focused as he narrowed in on the suspicious couple waving them over. There was no way that two members of Jason’s little club decided to fly back on the same week that he and Marinette did.

He smiled and shook hands with Luka as they chatted idly for a few minutes. Marinette promised to catch up with them later before leaning in to hug Chloe. The blonde turned her attention to him as she leaned in and hugged him bye as well. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing suspicious, nothing-

“Fuck.”

Damian’s hand went straight to his now empty pocket. He searched frantically to be sure that it hadn’t fallen in any holes that he wasn’t aware of, but alas, it was gone. Marinette held onto his hand tightly, concern filling her eyes, but he waved her off.

If that’s how Todd wanted to play, then fine. Damian was ready. It was time for Jason to bring it on. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Damian wasn’t sure how he thought the rest of the week would play out, but this was not it.

Monday he had gone to buy another ring when he ran into Tony Stark. He claimed he was there to get his wife a unique gift from Paris. Turns out a unique gift meant buying her every jewelry store in Paris, or at least majority shares, effectively destroying Damian’s chances of finding a new ring.

Tuesday he decided to just propose without the ring, after all, it just meant she could pick out a new one whenever they hit stateside again. They had made it all the way to the top of the Eiffel Tower, watching the sunset with her curled into his side as they leaned on the railing. He wanted to wait until the tower had cleared a bit, right when the sun dipped below the horizon, but much to his fear a large squeal erupted from the platform.

None other than Jagged Stone had decided to do an impromptu concert on top of the Eiffel Tower. Soon, between the noise and the crowd, Damian couldn’t even think straight, much less make space to go down on one knee. They called it a night with the question still on the tip of his tongue.

By Wednesday, Sabine had caught on to the real reason they were there. She pulled him to the side along with Tom where the both offered her engagement ring. Damian finally felt like he had caught a break. How foolish that was.

They walked into Marinette’s favorite restaurant that night only to find out that it had been bought out for the night by the Agreste family. He apparently decided that this would be an excellent date night spot for him and Kagami.

Thursday came and went with no attempts made. He had barely made it out of bed when he heard two voices in the kitchen. Praying to whatever God would hear him, Damian opened the door only to feel his heart drop. Tim and Dick sat in the kitchen while Marinette heated up some coffee, telling her all about the business deal they were taking care of in Paris.

Lucky for them, they had a day off and wanted to spend it with their favorite couple.

As Friday’s sun rolled in, Damian felt defeated.

“Mon amour, are you even listening?”

Damian nodded absentmindedly as he fiddled with the ring in his pocket.

“So do you want to go to this little reunion dinner tonight?”

“With who?”

“With my old classmates? I think Dick and Tim might stop by if they get out early today. Should be fun!”

He attempted a smile for her sake as he sent her a small nod. So on their last night in Paris, they all decided to gather in one spot making it impossible for Damian to sneak out with Marinette. It felt pretty foolproof.

“Damian, why have you been so out of it lately? This whole week you have been constantly checking over your shoulder. Are you worried about something?”

Marinette gathered his hand as she sunk on to the bed beside him.

“I just wanted this trip to be special, but a couple of special idiots have proved to make that nearly impossible. I don’t know how you dealt with them over the years.”

“Well, it felt nearly hopeless. I was convinced I was going to be single forever, but one man swooped in and saved me making me feel like there was nothing those special idiots could do. I’d like to think that he feels the same way when it comes to me. After all, a proposal doesn’t need to be in some big memorable place, it just needs to be between two people who love each other.”

Damian’s mouth gaped like a fish out of water as he tried to stutter out a denial, but it was hopeless. His cheeks felt like they were a hundred degrees as her laughter floated through the air.

“How did you know?”

“Date Duty had been disabled for a year and a half now. For them to all conveniently show up in Paris on the same week that we did? Well I’m not a big believer in coincidences when it comes to that group.”

Damian reached inside his pocket, pulling out the delicate ring that Sabine had given him a few days prior. A few tears formed in the corner of Marinette’s eyes as she covered her splitting smile with her hand.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, you have amazed me at every turn since the first time I saw you many years ago. You are a strong, creative, loving and beautifully confident woman. You are my first thought in the morning and my last as I drift to sleep at night. I can’t imagine living with anyone else by my side. Please, will you marry me?”

Marinette nodded as she offered her left hand, allowing him to slip on her mother’s ring. It was no where close to the proposal that he had planned, but as her lips crashed into his, it couldn’t have made him happier.

Maybe when he saw Jason’s little club tonight, he would thank them.

After all, they lead him to the woman he loved and without their persistence, his relationship wouldn’t be as strong as it is today.

He had finally broken the never ending cycle, and man, did it feel good.

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[rosaliestark01]

Like Father, Like Daughter

Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader & Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Requested by @ritiizzxxx : Hey I have a request can u do it where reader is Tony Stark's daughter and he has kept her a secret n when she was 15 and graduated from MIT and started creating her own tech then Tony decided to let the world know about her daughter. and also can u add some scenes where she's being sassy and sarcastic my father with all the Avengers.

Warnings: Swearing (maybe more than usual), fluff (kinda), and a bit of violence.

A/N: I’m not 100% sure if this was what you wanted, but I really hope you like it. As usual, I don’t own any GIFs and credit for the GIFs go to owner.

“Tony Stark, is it true that you have a daughter?”

“Is it Y/N?”

“Is Y/N Vulpine?”

Tony should have known that sending you to college at a young age would have major repercussions. You were already an intern at Stark Industries and after graduating at the top of your class at MIT at only fifteen year years old, he should have know that people would start to suspect something.

You majored in Physics and Engineering, just like him, but you also had a Masters degree in Business and Finance. Obviously, people would make the connections between you and him, but he never expected people to make the connection between you being Vulpine.

“What are you working on?” You looked up from your work station to see your dad walking up to you. 

“Just something that analyzes an opponents fighting style and predicts their next moves and what their weaknesses are,” you say. You knew that you dad had created something similar, but not to exactly like this. 

This automatically analyzes the way an opponent fights and tells you the best way to beat them in any area of combat. It would alert you if their form was ever off and would tell you the best way to use their weaknesses to your advantage.

Yep, you were definitely his daughter.

“I’m planning on installing it into mine and Peter’s suits so that we don’t repeat what happened in Symkaria.”

“What happened in Symkaria?” You freeze, suddenly realizing what you let slip. Your dad wasn’t supposed to know about Symkaria. You and Peter had agreed not to tell anyone about it because they’d probably never send you on a mission to a foreign country again.

“It was a disaster and you don’t want to know.” Your dad seemed to accept that before clearing his throat.

“So, listen. I am so proud of everything you’ve achieved,” he says. “You’re tough, smart, amazing, and-”

“What did you do?” You eyed him suspiciously. He tended to go overboard on compliments whenever he wanted something or did something he wasn’t supposed to. 

“What? Nothing. I was just going to ask how you felt about the public finding out who you really are.”

You thought about it for a second. You were ready to let the world know that you were Y/N Stark, but at the same time, it could cause major problems. Just like how Peter’s made up name is Spider-Man, your is Vulpine. Vulpine was meant to be mysterious, mischievous, and somebody nobody knew anything about. 

It made thing a lot easier when nobody knew who Vulpine was. You didn’t have to worry about people coming after you or your friends. Not that you couldn’t handle it, but the last time somebody found out who you were was a disaster.

“I’m not really sure how I feel about it,” You say thoughtfully.  “I’m nervous that if they find out I’m your daughter that they might find out about me being Vulpine.”

“I know.” You knew that he understood where you were coming from. He had stopped trusting telling people that you were his daughter after someone had tried to use you against him. “I’m nervous about that too.”

“Y/N, the download is complete,” you AI says in a gravelly voice. 

“What was that?” Your dad asks. “Did you make your own AI?” 

“Yes, I did and his name is Cas,” you giggle, knowing that that your dad would know what you were talking about. Modeled the voice exactly like it sounded on TV.

“Like that guy on TV?”

“Yep.” You become serious again, because you needed to turn the topic back to the serious conversation you were having with your dad. “Anyway, before to tell the world that I’m your daughter, we need to figure out how to keep my Avenger identity a secret. People can’t know that Vulpine and I are the same person.”

Your dad had ended up setting up a meeting will all of the available Avengers. That included Clint, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Peter. 

“We could say that Vulpine went on a vacation?” Clint suggests. He earns a few looks from people around the table for suggesting something so out of character for Vulpine to do.

“Why would Vulpine go on a vacation?” Peter speaks up. Out of everyone in the room, Peter knew the most about you and Vulpine. You were partners after all. Besides, Vulpine definitely didn’t seem like the vacation type. 

“I don’t know?”Clint said as he looked at you nervously. “Even mischievous superheros need breaks.”

“Right, because that wouldn’t be suspicious at all,” you say. Around the table you see Nat, Steve, Sam, and Bucky nodding their heads in agreement with you. Under the table, Peter gently squeezes your hand.

“I thought it was a good idea,” Clint pouts.

“What about a look alike?” Peter asks. “While Mr.Stark introduces you as his daughter, we could have a look alike do something on the other side of the city.”

“That could work if we find someone who looks like me”, you say, nodding your head thoughtfully. “Wait a second!”

“What?”

“Peter, remember when we went to that Fleetwood Mac concert in California?” You ask. Peter smiles as he remembers the time the two of you spent in California. It was good timing because there weren’t any looming threats, Peter’s school was on break, and crime in New York had been pretty nonexistent while you were gone.

Excuse me, but when was this?” your dad asked. You really need to be better at keeping these things from your dad.

“Yeah, and we made clones of ourselves so that nobody would notice we were gone for a whole week!” Peter, ignoring your dad, says excitedly. You couldn’t blame him. You and Peter had a really great week.

“You made clones of yourselves?” Steve finally pipes up.

“They’re more like interactive holograms that we downloaded our daily routine and personalities into.”

“Definitely her father’s daughter.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you smile. 

“Normally, I would ground both of you for running off for a week” Your dad starts.  “but I’m impressed so I’ll let it slide.”

“Peter and I will probably have to go digging through my lab to find them first, but I’m sure we could get them ready.” You look at Peter, making sure he was okay with that.

“Great. You two do that. I’ll go schedule a press meeting.” The meeting pretty much broke up the second your dad left the room. You and Peter walked hand in hand to your lab that was right across from your room. You usually kept it pretty neat and tidy... except for the storage room. 

It took about twenty minutes longer than you expected and Peter had to do most of the heavy lifting, not that you minded.

“I just realized how useful these could be,” you say as you and Peter begin to set up the ones modeled after yourselves. “Just think of all the prank we could pull everyone.”

“They could also be useful on missions. Like decoys,” Peter tells you. You may have graduated college when you were fifteen, but sometimes you wondered who the actual genius in this relationship was.

“Pete, your a genius!”

“Says the girl who graduated from MIT when she was fifteen,” Peter blushes. 

“Says the boy who is way smarter than he let’s on,” you say back to him. Sometimes it was like he didn’t know how smart he really was. You knew for a fact that he is probably smarter than all of his teachers combined.

“Enough flirting! Just find your freaking clones!” Sam yells as he walks past your room. 

“After what happened in Symkaria, I can flirt with whoever I want!” You yell back. Yeah, Symkaria ended up being a disaster, but at least it was the push you and Peter needed to confess your feelings for one another.

“But just me, right?” Peter asks.

“Just you.” You plant a soft kiss on his cheek before the two of you get back to work. 

The next morning, you and Peter sent your “clones” to Brooklyn while you and Peter went to the press conference that your dad had set up. You couldn’t believe how crazy these reporters were asking. It was a lot of one talking right over the other so you couldn’t understand a single thing any of them were saying. Finally, your dad had somehow managed to shut them all up

“You all ask if Y/N is my daughter, and it’s easy to see why.” Your dad gets started on the speech that Pepper had made for him, but then he puts the cards down, planning to talk for himself. “She is gifted, talented, probably smarter than me, and an overall amazing person. She has created tech that I have never even thought of and she’s been an intern at Stark Industries since she was only eight years only. Y/N Stark is my daughter.”

“Is Y/N Vulpine?” a blonde reporter asks. That causes the other reporters to stark buzzing out questions too before your dad quiets them again.

“Y/N is not-” Before he could finish, you spot an all too familiar looking face. Freaking Symkaria.

“Fucking shit!” You say, letting your frustration out before the Symkarian guard pulls out a sword and approached you and your dad with it. Peter tries to stand protectively in front of you (you’re pretty sure he just wants to get back at the guard for what he did) but you push Peter away. He doesn’t have his web shooters or his suit.

Luckily, you were trained by both Nat and Bucky. Each time the guard swung the sword at you, you were able to dodge it with ease. Working around the guard as he kept swinging at you, you sneakily removed his belt. After you had it, you wrapped it around his hand that he held the sword with, effectively causing him to drop his weapon. 

“You will never get away with what you did.” The guard hisses out at you with his German-like accent. “Prince Adonis will have his revenge.”

“Seriously?”You dad asks looking amused. “Whatever happened to ‘the world must never know’”

“That was before I was attacked,” you shrugged. There was no way in hell that people would believe that you and Vulpine were two separate people now. You literally just disarmed a Symkarian guard on live TV. “Would you like to do the honors?” you ask you dad, giving him permission to tell the world.

“The truth is...” he begins but you decided, for dramatic effect, to interrupt him.

“I am Vulpine.”

A/N: Again, I’m still not sure if this was what you wanted, @ritiizzxxx​ , but I hope you still like it.

[soramel]

Chained to you (Part 2)

genre: angst, romance, unconventional relationship warning: eventual smut A/N: cross-posted from wattpad; updates are uploaded there first

1 2 3 4 

Part 2 words: 5.7k

The car rolled off to a much narrower street an hour later. The place he's driving into is in the middle of the woods. You wondered if you actually led yourself into his bear trap. "You're not going to kill me here, are you?" you asked in a serious tone although you intended it to sound like a joke.

You became a bit nervous when Taehyung didn't respond.

A decent modern cabin appeared in your line of sight. Its façade is adorned with huge thick glass panes. The car turned to a halt. "We're here," he announced.

Still unsure of the situation, you shook your head then headed out of the car anyway.

An old couple welcomed you to the place. They were wearing warm smiles as they greeted Taehyung and you.

"It's been a long time, Taehyung. You've grown so much." the older woman gushed. Taehyung politely chuckled as he gave them brief hugs, "I missed you and uncle a lot. Sorry for coming in a short notice."

The older man laughed, "It's alright, we regularly clean the cabin so it's not much of a preparation. Let's head inside first. I'll take your luggage, Ma'am."

You shyly gripped your bag, not wanting the old man to carry a light luggage for you. He reminds you so much of your grandfather, "It's not heavy. I can carry it myself, sir."

He waved his hand off and said, "I insist. You're a special guest here, allow me."

But really, you couldn't.

Taehyung held you by your waist and said, "Let uncle take your bag, we still have to show you around the house."

That was just an excuse for you to let go, but there's something in his tone saying that you should follow what he's saying. So, you conceded, giving your bag to the man.

As you walk inside, the lady briefly briefs Taehyung as to how the cabin has been. You saw paintings and some interesting ornaments. The place looks like an ideal vacation house for holidays.

"I cooked your favorite. It's not much because I just brought some stocks from our quarters instead of buying from the market. We'll head out later to shop," the lady told Taehyung. Then he politely said his thanks.

The old couple climbed up the wooden staircase while you and Taehyung followed behind. They led you to a room. He then turned to them and took your bag from the man. "I'll take it from here, auntie, uncle. We'll go to the dining room after."

The lady replied, "Ah, we'll be leaving now for the market. We'll leave you by yourselves."

You bowed at them as they turned on their way.

He then closed the door and headed to the office table and set your bag there. "They're our caretakers here. If you need something, you can ask them."

You nodded as you looked around the room. It's minimally decorated that you guessed it's a guestroom. It has its own little walk-in closet and bathroom. You walked back and saw Taehyung sitting by the couch at the foot of the bed, watching you. "Is there wifi here?" you asked. He nodded, "You can ask auntie later for the password."

You sat on the bed, deep in your thoughts. Now what? you wondered. Maybe you can book a flight to somewhere. Doesn't matter where that is. Running away from all of this is still the most appealing thing to your mind right now. But what about your responsibilities?

You were pulled out of your reverie when Taehyung spoke.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

Raising a brow at him you retorted, "You're still here?"

"You intrigue me, princess."

You scoffed at that. "A lot of people are interested in my life. You're welcome for having the front seat."

"Hmm... I don't think I'm a mere audience. Am I not your knight?" he asked with that teasing smile on his face that you badly want to wipe off.

"I'll be downstairs. I'm sure you're hungry. Don't take too long," he said before heading towards the door, leaving you alone.

#

"You can stay here as long as you want, Y/n. It's safer," he told you after the meal. He was watching you the whole time as if you're a puzzle that he's trying to figure out. You're used to being watched but having this kind of attention from him is bothersome.

You sighed, torn between freeing yourself from this and your responsibilities to your employees. Back in the room, that was the only time when you think about the post you left today. A one day off won't hurt, but how long can you go on like this? It's such a waste that your professional life is too tied with your personal one. Running away from all of this will also give your opponents a reason to kick you out. Not everyone is in favor of having a young single woman in a high position.

"That night..." you started. He then waited for you to continue. He had a hint on what you wanna talk about. "Did you know that it was me?" you finally asked. It felt like you just dropped a bomb in the silent dining hall. He didn't reply right away, weighing your expression. So you told him, "Tell me the truth."

Without hesitation he then admitted, "Yes, I knew it was you."

You were dumbfounded at his revelation. You were suspicious but it feels different coming straight from him. He then said, "But I wasn't planning on sleeping with you that night," for a second, uneasiness flashed his eyes, different from his usual calculated yet playful persona. "But I guess, I'm just a man with needs. You were smoking hot in that skimpy dress," he added further, throwing you a smirk. Then he's back again to the man you knew.

That afternoon, you opened your phone and started making calls. Instructing your secretary to send you urgent matters through email.

"But ma'am, what about your scheduled meetings?" he asked after noting down your instructions.

Sighing, "Who are the ones for this week?" you asked. He cited a long list in a timeline order, telling you that he already had the meetings for this day on hold until further notice. Most of them were for internal purposes and some were proposals from other companies.

"Meeting with finance and marketing will be done online. Same time. For the others, have them send their written reports. I'll expect those in my inbox on the day of the scheduled meeting. For the proposals, send me their pitch but if they insist on meeting me personally, have it on hold."

You felt sorry for him, the work sounded a lot but you needed to prioritize. "I'm sorry, Jae. I have personal matters to settle and I'll come back as soon as I can. Just give me a week."

"It's okay, Ms. Y/n. You've been working hard for the past months. Don't worry too much. I hope everything will be fine soon," he said though he's wondering what kind of problem you're having to not go to work given that news about your engagement just got released. He assumed you're spending more time with your fiancé now that he just got back from America.

"That's all, I'll be waiting for your emails by the end of the day," you told him before ending the call.

Now all you have to do is wait. You sighed, slumping yourself back on the bed. However, peace didn't last that long as your phone rang again. Your friend Sunmi's calling.

Annoyed, you still picked up the call to make her stop, "Sunmi," you greeted, your voice cold. "The news of your engagement was like wildfire online. They're saying it's the same man that you were with that night. How can that happen?" she asked frantically. Then followed up, "Are you okay? I'm worried."

"I had no idea they're the same. I don't remember his face, that's why. And I'm okay. Don't worry."

Still, that didn't send her comfort. "Where are you? I'll visit you," she said, her voice laced with concern.

You shook your head, "Don't. I'm with Taehyung. We went outside town," you told her wishing that this would make her stop.

"Look, Sunmi, I'm really busy and I'm still working remotely. Again, I'm doing fine and don't worry too much. It's burdening. I'm an adult," you added. You sounded harsh over the line and it made you feel a bit sorry, but you didn't take back what you said.

She then said, "Okay. Just take care of yourself," before the line went off.

#

So, for the next few days, you sulked inside the room, working. Taehyung did the same. He stayed true to his words when he told you that evening that he'll be keeping his eyes on you. You just bump into each other when you go to the dining room for lunch or dinner. Neither of your parents disturbed you knowing that you guys are together. Taehyung assured them that you're doing fine.

Feeling stuffy for burrowing in your own hole for the past two days, you went out to work in the living room. You were on the sofa when the door to your right opened, revealing Taehyung. He's wearing black shirt and shorts. That room was his office, you took a glimpse of it yesterday when you were taking a coffee break. His brow raised up when he saw you dressed up.

"I have an online meeting at 10," you simply said even though he didn't ask. Today's meeting is with the marketing department.

He simply nodded, then said, "I thought you'll be thinking over things, Y/n. But you only drowned yourself with work."

"Just keep on being a good boy, alright? I might reconsider being married to you," you retorted. That earned a smirk from him then followed by an incredulous chuckle. You didn't mean what you said though. You still wanted out of the arrangement. You were thinking of alternatives that you can present to your parents and the Kims. Those thoughts have been keeping you up at night.

Taehyung finally left you alone, heading towards the kitchen. You set up your things on the table and waited for the call.

When he came back to your area, you were already discussing with the marketing team, asking them questions about the powerpoint they sent you. He sat on the single-seater couch, watching you while sipping his coffee. You couldn't help but raise a brow at him.

He did nothing to disturb you, but his stares made you uncomfortable for some reason. Then after a few minutes, his phone rang. This halted your discussion with the team. You threw him a warning glance. Taehyung stood up and went to his office to answer the call. When the door fell shut, you turned to the camera. "I'm sorry, you may continue," you muttered.

After a minute, Taehyung stormed out of his room and called you, "Y/n"

You looked at him with irritation, "I'm in a meeting, Taehyung. Can you please go away?"

He just ignored you and went upstairs. You sighed at his attitude. Then your phone rang. Seeing that it's your father, you declined the call.

Irritated with the interruptions, you then turned to the marketing team, "Have this project approved by the finance department as soon as possible. Then prompt the booking department so we won't get overwhelmed once the promo's been released."

At that, the marketing manager wrapped things up by giving synthesis and informing you that the minutes would be forwarded to your secretary.

You were skimming through your emails when Taehyung rushed down the stairs. He's now dressed up with shirt and trousers, looking troubled. His keys were in his hands as he told you, "Your mom's in the hospital."

Your heart dropped at the news. "What? What happened to her?" you asked him, frantic. Your mother has a healthier lifestyle. She had these planned meals prepared by her dietician, she wouldn't sleep later than 10 pm, she regularly goes to her yoga sessions, she's more careful than you.

Tears sprang up in your eyes as you asked, "Is she fine?"

Taehyung sighed, "She was being rushed to the hospital when I talked to the security team."

"It was a car crash. The driver's dead, her head of security too."

The information made your knees wobble. Taehyung had to assist you to go in his car while you couldn't stop the tears from falling, blurring your vision. Questions flooded through you but you were too shocked to sort out your thoughts to speak them out.

The whole car ride was silent contrary to the beating of your heart. You're nervous, afraid, shocked, you were feeling all things at once for your mom that you failed to notice when Taehyung's phone kept ringing.

He declined every call that showed up on the dashboard. He just focused on bringing you there safely. Broken out of your own thoughts, you texted your father with shaking hands. Telling him that you heard the news and that you're on your way now.

When Taehyung's phone rang again, you disconnected it from the dashboard and answered his phone yourself.

It's Mrs. Kim calling.

"Yes, Mrs. Kim. We've heard of the news. Taehyung is driving me to the hospital," you told her in the calmest manner you can muster but a hiccup escaped your mouth. You've been crying the whole time, devastated by all the bad things that could happen to your mom.

"Darling, stay strong. We're also on our way. Tell my son not to rush, okay?" she sweetly said, her voice laced with worry.

When you ended the call, Taehyung told you to turn his phone off. You didn't protest and followed his command.

By the time you arrived in the hospital, press people were already there, all of them are held up outside, being guarded. When they saw Taehyung opening the door for you, they immediately ambushed you with questions. It angered you when you heard them asking about your upcoming wedding and whether your mom's accident would affect the plans.

You gritted your teeth in anger as you did your best to ignore them. It's insulting how those people would take every opportunity they could to butt in at such private matter. Your mother's in the hospital, fighting for her life, for god's sake.

The guards cleared a path for both of you while Taehyung protectively held you by his side as you walked in.

You found your father standing outside the operating room, he was pacing back and forth. Upon seeing you, he went up and gave you a pat as if saying everything will be alright. It was a weak convincing on his part when he himself didn't even look collected.

The waiting was excruciating. You didn't notice that you've been holding Taehyung's hand tightly. You let go immediately upon realizing this.

"I'm sorry," you muttered, gulping.

"It's okay," he simply replied.

#

The doctors ran more tests on your mother when she failed to wake up after 24 hours. The accident caused her a brain injury and she was diagnosed with hypoxia. She's now in a coma and it could take a few days or few weeks for her to recover. The doctor told you to prepare for the worse, but you couldn't fathom a worse scenario than this.

Your feud with your father was put on hold as you almost spend every night with your mom. You would go to the office in the morning then to the hospital late in the afternoon, continuing your work in her room. The time you'll only go home is when you're reminded by your bodyguard which was assigned by Taehyung himself.

It may be deemed unnecessary but as investigation is being conducted, the Kims cannot compromise your safety. Their security company, among of their others, was the one in charge with your family ever since, including your businesses. The accident happened under their watch, but as of now, no one is to blame. Yet.

For your peace of mind, you even hired a private investigator on your own, meeting him discreetly as much as possible.

It was already six in the evening when Mr. and Mrs. Kim knocked on your mom's suite. You gathered your energy to come up with a smile, but it only crossed your face halfway.

"Darling, are you taking care of yourself?" she greeted worriedly, pulling you into a hug. You were surprised when you saw Taehyung.

After the operation, his parents left first but he stayed. Feeling burdened about it, you thanked him and told him to go ahead.

Sitting at the receiving area, 2 meters away from your mother's bed, you gathered the unkempt papers laying on the coffee table.

"Sorry for the mess," you uttered.

Then opening the topic, you asked, "Is there any update on the investigation?" turning to Mr. Kim.

The latter exchanged a look with his son before saying, "The truck was hi-jacked and we couldn't trace the driver yet. We looked into CCTVs but the team couldn't find anything."

You let out a sigh. It was the same report you got from your hired investigator this morning.

"There has to be someone behind this," you muttered, looking over your mother. The tubes attached to her body pains you. Sorrow crossed your eyes as you wished you could take her place.

Clearing his throat, Mr. Kim added, "I talked to your father about this. It could take a lot of time before we figure things out because, if ever, he himself has a number of opponents up his sleeve."

This is the first time someone actually attacked your family. Threats were a common thing, but no one dared to lay a finger on you, your mom, and your dad. Though your security is always prepared for this kind of scenario.

Chuckling bitterly at the thought, it looked like they weren't.

The question that's been bugging your mind is why now?

Is it because he's running for the next presidential election?

If that is so, why was your mom the target?

Aside from the situation at hand, the vacancy in the board left by your mom as the chairwoman is stirring ruckus. You haven't issued any announcement yet, but others are asking about her condition.

The stocks surprisingly didn't take a hit at the news of the accident. If there is something that bothers you more that you think will be harder to handle, that would be the board of directors of your holding company.

Simply put, they're still doubtful of you.

You glanced at Taehyung, who is sitting to your right across his mother. The second he met your eyes, you immediately averted his gaze, clearing your throat.

"Thank you for taking care of my mom's case personally. It makes me feel more at ease," you told them in a nonchalant manner.

"Don't mention it," Mr. Kim said.

With fidgeting fingers, you started the question you've been meaning to know about, "I would want to visit the family of her driver and head security-"

"You can't," Taehyung interrupted, making you snap your head back to him.

"It's not safe," he added when he saw your furrowing brows.

"There's no need, Y/n. Your father sent something for them. They understand the situation," Mr. Kim followed.

You didn't utter a reply, if they wouldn't want to divulge that information, you can have your secretary look for it. You could go there yourself, it's not as if they need to give permission.

Besides, who would think of attacking you in a simple funeral? They won't think you would have the heart to pay attention to those who worked for your family.

Still, you feel bad about the loved ones they left. They could have a daughter like you.

They protected your mom, they've done their duty, and you're sure if your mother is only conscious and well right now, she would've done the same or maybe more.

Taehyung let out a loud sigh, "I'll come with you,"

The man quite knows your stubbornness. He witnessed it first-hand and your loaded gaze somewhere which signals that you're deep in your thoughts made him agree to have it your way, but under his watch.

#

You glanced at your car through Taehyung's side mirror. Turning back your attention to the man beside you, you wonder why you're letting him have his way. Based on your interactions, it's as if you embraced the idea of him being your husband. So far, he's been reliable and respectful of your own space. That's what you thought of him. And the night you spent together.

You cleared your throat at the inappropriate images that flashed your mind. Digging your nails to your palm, you reprimanded yourself.

The silence was cut off when a phone call went through his dashboard.

Lana calling...

Taehyung declined the call right away only for it to pop up again. He seemed irritated this time.

"It might be important," you muttered. He didn't reply and just dropped it, giving you a cold shoulder.

The phone dinged. You unintentionally gazed on his phone between the two of you because of the noise.

Call me. I miss you.

You then immediately turned your attention to the passing streetlights. You felt guilty that you've seen something you shouldn't have. At the same time, there's an underlying feeling that started to simmer within you.

The whole car ride was spent in silence until you reached your family's mansion.

Taehyung waited downstairs as you changed into something more appropriate for a funeral. Frankly, he could have just met you at the memorial but he insisted on going with you all the way back to your house. That's why you offered to ride with him while your driver and bodyguard followed behind. It was out of courtesy, which he didn't decline.

After changing your clothes, you went down right away, not bothering to check your appearance. However, as you trailed down the stairs, Taehyung was nowhere to be seen.

When a staff member passed by, you asked about the man you came home with. She then led you to your father's study.

The doors were closed and only faint mutters of two men in conversation can only be heard. It piqued your curiosity so instead of barging in like you did before, you slowly walked close to the door.

"... so I'm not marrying her," you heard him say, his voice dark and cold. The pain that wretched your heart upon hearing those words shocked you. Your eyes welled up inevitably despite willing yourself to control your dam of emotions.

A dead silence followed his statement.

You should have been thankful of him giving up on you. And by him talking to your father directly like this, the old man might even consider cancelling the marriage you dreaded. You should be grateful, but all the more, Taehyung's sudden change of mind on the matter confused you.

You wondered if there's something wrong with you. Did you do anything that turned him off during the time you spent together in his family's cabin?

Does he have someone else?

That thought fired up jealousy you did not think you could harbor.

"I can make her change her mind, Taehyung. Just let her warm up to you more. That would help," your father sternly told him. Your brows knitted in further confusion.

"She thinks she will be marrying me for the wrong reason. Y/n's not ready."

Your tongue tastes vile in his reasoning. He even had the guts to use you as an excuse. If you only know, it might have been because of your family losing control of your company due to your mom's condition. He might think that being married to you will only be an unnecessary responsibility when he can take over by himself. Maybe he's using this opportunity to run off and be with his lover.

Lana

The name flashed in your memory.

You felt bitter. No one dared to reject you in your years of existence. If not, you were the one who used to run away from men who expressed their interest in you.

How dare he?

Before you knew it, pride took over your being as you carefully opened the door.

With a smirk on your face, you asked Taehyung, "Who says I'm not ready?"

"Tae?" you said in a sweet voice. You feigned your innocence and soft demeanor, but only vile venom coursed through your system. No one rejects you. No one will take over the empire your mother built alongside with your father. You will secure your power. You will make sure everything will fall into its place.

#

Two nights after, he fetched you from your house to have your first public date. He booked a table in a grand hotel downtown for the whole thing and told you beforehand to dress casually. So for this night, you opted for a white broderie long sleeve minidress.

"We just have to put up a show, right?" Taehyung asked, his tone bored, while cruising down the road. You nodded, then you realized his eyes are on the winding road, he can't see you. "Yeah," you muttered.

The white outfit is ironically in contrast with his. He's in a black suit, looking elegantly casual. Thanks to the turtleneck sweater. This guy has some good fashion sense, you noted. With his perfectly parted hair, he looked exquisite.

You didn't dare to ask him why he thought of backing out from your marriage. He didn't care to ask for a reason on your sudden change of mind.

"We can continue with the prior arrangement. Let's get married," you followed through after sweetly calling his name that night. The statement sounded like a challenge as it rolled off your tongue.

Taehyung just gazed deep into your eyes. His face was void of any emotion. In a flicker, you saw his jaw tensed in irritation. He glanced down the floor before a faint smirk appeared on his face.

"If that's what you want then."

You were taken aback at his acceptance. You expected him to protest, but he surprisingly went on. Taehyung turned to you father then gave the man a curt bow.

"It's getting late. Y/n and I should go so we can come back as soon as possible," he said to your dad. "Have a good night, sir."

The old man slowly nodded, "Take care of her."

"I will."

You never dreamed of being a slave to this powerplay. You thought you have enough guts to not go down that path, but here you are.

Going back to the present, you threw Taehyung a glance, observing his side profile. The passing lights casted shadows on his face, illuminating his eyes, highlighting the point of his cheekbones down to his nose. Your eyes traced the line of his jaw when he turned away as he navigated the car to a left turn.

You wondered whether you'll learn to love this man. Yet again, you're afraid of him not reciprocating if that happens.

Taehyung handed you a jewelry box when you reached the foot of the hill.

"Wear it," he simply said when you opened the box.

It's a tiffany ring adorned with a diamond stone. The halo setting framed the center diamond, making it look bigger. It's beautiful, but too 'in-your-face' for your liking.

With a sigh, you wore it unceremoniously on your left ring finger. You glanced at his hand that was on the steering wheel, looking for a ring. It was hard to see in the dark but you quite glimpsed a glint of a metal.

You swallowed the bile you felt in your throat. The whole ride was silent after that. Only the smooth running of his car's engine can be heard.

Arriving at the hotel's driveway, you didn't wait for him to open the door. The action earned an irritated look from him. Taehyung gave his car key to the valet attendant before holding your waist, startling you.

He leaned towards your ear and whispered, "This better not look like our first date,"

"Alright?" he asked through his teeth.

From an outsider's perspective the picture looks sweet, but if they can only hear the threat in his voice...

You noticed few people were staring, recognizing the both of you. Feigning a smile, you touched his arm. Despite the high heels you're wearing, he still stood taller that you needed to look up.

"Of course, Tae," you said to him, your voice dripping like honey. He replied with a half-smile before leading you inside.

The two of you graced the foyer like a power couple. Curious glances were thrown and few whispers flew around. All the while, Taehyung didn't care and just walked straight.

You smirked to yourself when the receptionist led you to the middle table in the restaurant. The stage for tonight. However, the table is set for four.

Taehyung pulled you a chair then sat beside you.

"Are we expecting somebody else?" you asked him.

"My friends will join us. I haven't seen them since I arrived home and they're insisting to meet you. I didn't notice your dress is too short," he said all the while scrutinizing you. You glanced down but you were fine with it. So, you shrugged him off. You're more bothered that he invited his friends over on your date. Not that you want to be left alone with him.

Taehyung turned to the waiter who stood by your side. Putting an arm at the small of your back and casually placing one hand over your lap, he ordered the waiter to come back later once the others had arrived.

His closeness made it hard for you to breathe. You muttered silently, "Don't you think you're touching too much?"

He smirked at your question. "I touched more than this, princess. Want a reminder?"

The boldness in his voice made you blush.

"Don't look. A board director of yours is here," he said in a low voice before fakely fixing a strand of your hair.

His ring band gleamed under the chandelier lights. A simple intricate design carved into the metal.

He looked you in the eyes and said, "I guess that's a good audience, right? One credible person to confirm the news around."

You can't help but chuckle, "You and my mom would make a good publicist," you silently uttered as you placed your left hand on his shoulder, smoothing down the fabric.

"That's fair. I admire your mother for handling your family's image. Works so much in favor of your father, don't you think?"

You smiled bitterly at that. He's right. Your mom's a good homemaker too while maintaining a respectable figure in the business world.

"You should've told me your friends will be coming," you muttered, changing the topic. You're more nervous now that others will witness this whole fiasco at a much closer distance. Then you asked, "Do they know that this is all pretend?"

His jaw tensed as he answered a firm no. "So, you better act whipped for me," he added. Scoffing at his command, you retorted, "I can't be easily whipped, Taehyung."

A low chuckle escaped his mouth. "Right. But you're my wife, so..."

You glared him down. You're not yet his wife.

He just raised a brow at you before staring back. His eyes piercing through. He's too close like this. You're already blushing at the distance, but you didn't want to back down.

"Kim Taehyung!"

Turning to the sound of the voice, two men were making their way to your table. One of them is familiar. You didn't know Taehyung is friends with Park Jimin, a famous celebrity. After side-hugging Taehyung, he offered you his hand.

"Y/n, nice to see you again," his voice teasing. You reciprocated him with a friendly chuckle and acknowledged him, "Park Jimin, it's been a long time."

"I hope your mother gets well soon," he told you with a gentle smile. It tugged warmth in your heart, the guy is charming as always. "Thank you," you replied.

Taehyung watched the friendly exchange with a careful gaze. You turned to him lovingly, starting your act for the night, "We see each other in some function events. You haven't told me you're friends with him, Tae."

His other friend then stepped forward. He has an ebony hair, his doe eyes crinkled as he smiled at you, "I'm Jeon Jungkook, it's nice to meet you, Ms. Y/n."

You shook his hand and repeated his name for you to remember, "Pleasure's mine."

The dinner looks pleasant. Although you were uncomfortable with the lies that have been spewing out of your mouth. You let Taehyung take care of you though you can very much well slice your own steak. It was a challenge not to roll your eyes out of absurdity.

"When's your wedding, Y/n?" Jimin asked in the middle of the meal.

You were caught in surprise. You haven't talked about it yet, you just handed the task to your secretary yesterday.

"The soonest," Taehyung chirped in.

Jungkook's eyes widened a fraction while Jimin just grinned at Taehyung's answer. The younger then asked, "Before the elections?"

That subject was an open secret that no one talks about. Instead, you replied, "Soon as we settle things, we'll send out invitations."

"So, you started preparations already. It's sad that you'll go through this alone, given your mother's condition," Jimin stated. You sent him a reassuring smile.

"It will be fine. I have people to do stuff for me," you told them.

"As long as we'll get married. I'm pretty chill with the details," you added. For it is true. If you could skip the wedding ceremony, you would. Those moments are reserved for a true special someone, but the situation is different for a woman like you.

You thought you should give your secretary a raise. The morning you asked him to contact a wedding planner, he gladly accepted the task. He knows your taste so you let him fix most of the things.

You did not even ask Taehyung for opinion since he left the details to your care. He only had one condition: the soonest, the better. You remember him telling you when he was driving back to your house that night. That night when you started this million dollar show.

[bettsfic]

hi, i was reading your years in review and i noticed that you quit a job of many years to go your own way. i was wondering if you would mind talking about this decision/if you struggled with it? idk i've always told myself that i wouldn't let the idea of a "career" get in the way of what i want (e.g. writing) and that one day (shortly after 30?) i would just quit whatever job i had and go my own way, but as that deadline comes up i find it harder to imagine how i could just uproot myself...

yes, i very much did struggle with the decision to quit (what i thought was) my very stable and lucrative career in finance to get an MFA in creative writing. it’s a bit of a long story so i’m putting it under a cut.

warning for suicidality and sexual assault.

i used to believe i grew up poor, but it was the 90s so poverty looked very different. my dad didn’t work for a long time, and so we only had one income, and we lived in an apartment that was kind of a lowkey hoarder home. as a kid, all i knew was that i didn’t get to have toys, or my own space, and i wasn’t allowed to have friends over. the concept of an allowance was totally alien to me. but it also wasn’t like i ever went hungry. the food we had wasn’t particularly healthy but it was always there.

i didn’t really realize how much that instability affected me until much later, when i noticed other people hadn’t lived their entire lives aware of and obsessed with money. i used to compulsively count the change in my piggy bank and beg my mom to take it so she could pay her taxes (i didn’t know what taxes meant, i just assumed they were the reason we couldn’t afford nice things). 

my safe haven was always my grandparents’ house, which was clean and had semi-healthy food and the door was always open. my grandpa was a high school chemistry teacher. my grandma worked at a bank. growing up, i had no idea what she did at the bank, just that it sponsored all the fun things we did, like going to amusement parks and baseball games. my parents never took my sister and i on vacation, but every year, my grandma would drive us to visit our family in missouri, which, even though it only cost the gas to get there, seemed like a wild indulgence to me.

i started working at 16 so i could have my own money. by 17 i was working illegally full-time and getting paid under the table. then i bought my own car, and shortly after i turned 18 i got my own apartment. even though i could pay my bills, i was still terrified about money. i thought about it all the time. i checked my bank account multiple times a day. i was a cashier at a restaurant and i would often open my drawer and just stare at the money or count it when i was bored.

but i hated working at the restaurant, and one day i thought to myself, how can i keep the money part of this job but lose the food part? then i remembered my grandma’s career at the bank (from which by then she’d retired), and that afternoon i sat down and applied to be a teller at the very same bank. obviously the bank was very large and it wasn’t like my grandma was in management. she worked in ATM operations. nobody on my hiring committee knew who she was, and honestly i have no idea how i got the job.

i stayed a teller through college, working 25ish hours a week. it didn’t pay very well and i was still nervous about money, so i picked up a job altering bridal gowns on evenings and weekends, and also an admin job at my university. so i was working 60ish hours a week, plus going to school full-time and trying to keep up my 4.0. in retrospect, i can’t remember how necessary all this was. i know i was living in an apartment whose rent was higher than i could afford, and i lived with my boyfriend who was struggling to find a job. anyway, it was definitely the lowest time of my life, and i was so exhausted that every day i hoped something horrible would happen to me so i could be hospitalized and rest. 

then something horrible did happen. my dad died. and even though everyone in my life was telling me to please dear god take a break, i did not. 

i got promoted to business finance, which paid what seemed at the time to be an ungodly amount of money. i was still part-time and finishing up my undergrad degree. once i graduated, i got promoted to full-time. for the first couple years, i really did try to be a banker. i was good at my job only insofar as someone who is left-handed can write with their right hand if forced for long enough. it felt very much like i was in the wrong place, but by that point i had so much unchecked trauma that i had convinced myself the highest human ideal was misery and deprivation. i wish i was kidding. i was the definition of ascetic and martyred myself. i didn’t believe happiness existed. work was all that mattered to me.

then i bought a house. so at this point, i had student loans, a car loan, a mortgage, and credit card debt. after my dad’s death, my mom had to file for bankruptcy because of all the medical bills. she abandoned her house. by this point i was 23, single, in six figures of debt with no familial support net, but i was making decent money at the bank, so it wasn’t like i was drowning. in fact i was doing pretty well. the bank was a rock in my very turbulent life. i got a lot of vacation time that allowed me to travel a bit. i had insurance and a matching 401(k). it was really a decent job.

but the bank was also in many ways an abusive relationship. i don’t mean that metaphorically. i had bosses who manipulated me, insulted me, humiliated me in front of other people. i had one boss who went so far as to look at my checking account and ridicule my purchases. i didn’t have any idea what it meant to stand up for myself or say no. in fact i wasn’t allowed to say no. my job at the bank involved solving other people’s problems. i could never say “i can’t solve that problem.” i could only say “i’ll figure it out.”

i had convinced myself working at the bank was a stable career because it was boring and i hated it. but actually it wasn’t stable at all. after 2008, there were mass layoffs and restructures every year while the bank tried to recover from the recession. i worked for a sales team, and so my job was dependent entirely on whether or not the salespeople did their jobs well. if they didn’t make goal, they’d get fired. if they got fired, i’d get fired. 

i started trying to date again and was sexually assaulted. after that i really struggled at work because i was dissociating a lot and couldn’t focus. my team, despite my having worked there for years, instead of being concerned for me decided to start complaining about me to my boss. finally i had to tell a coworker what happened and that i wasn’t doing very well. my team started being a little nicer to me but ultimately they didn’t care about me, they cared about how effective i was at my job. my boss didn’t want to fire me, so instead i was pushed onto another team.

that move came with a raise. then that team was dismantled and i was pushed onto another team. that was a demotion, but i got to keep my raise from the previous move. by then, i was working from home, and even though i was more comfortable i was also very isolated and miserable. my “fulfillment through deprivation” attitude was destroying me. i wasn’t eating well or taking care of myself. i was isolated and lonely. i still didn’t believe happiness was real and i constantly thought about killing myself. 

but i had started writing fanfiction, and even though i didn’t think i was any good at it, i was beginning to see a way out. i was beginning to learn how to dream, and want things, and give myself the things i wanted. i just couldn’t imagine leaving the bank, or selling my house, or moving out of my hometown. all of that seemed impossible to me.

then i had to go to a business conference where my team had a retirement party for one of my coworkers. she’d done what i was doing for 45 years. by that point i was at the 9 year mark. i’d spent my entire adult life at the bank. and i realized: the bank benefited from my fear and passivity, and nothing in my life was going to change unless i was willing to make sacrifices. 

but i still wasn’t entirely convinced. and then came the day i had to physically hold onto my desk to keep me from killing myself. i didn’t end up trying it, because i had another realization: this was a life or death situation now. if i kept working at the bank, i knew i would die. i knew eventually i would get low enough to do it. i didn’t actually want to die; i wanted an escape and didn’t know what else to do. suddenly i was off the hook. my options were not “financial stability or imminent poverty” but “live or die.” 

those were the big epiphanies i had, but the process of actually leaving the bank was a slow one. i wrote a bit about it here. i got into an MFA program basically by telling myself repeatedly i would figure out the money stuff later. when it came time to quit the bank, my boss convinced me to stay on working part-time, with the assumption i would move back to full-time once i’d graduated. i agreed to it, because just trying to quit was enough to convince me i could, and that better things were ahead of me. for a year and a half, i stayed on working two days a week while doing my MFA, which involved both coursework and teaching, and it felt a bit like it did during undergrad, having too many jobs and no time to breathe or think or feel anything.

between my first and second year, i had a looooong overdue mental breakdown. there were a lot of causes, but one of them was spreading myself too thin. shortly after, i quit for good. by then it didn’t feel like a big deal at all, i was so far removed from the work and my team and so focused on my degree. one day i turned on my work laptop and the next day i didn’t. i shipped it back to HQ and it was over.

then i graduated from the MFA and suddenly had to face the consequences of this life i’d chosen. my school kept me on as an adjunct, but it felt like being a ghost. i no longer had the community of my cohort. i had no health insurance. i was given my teaching schedule and a contract to sign, that’s it. there was no guarantee i would be getting classes the following semester, and after a year, that was what happened. i remember sitting in my favorite coffee shop trying not to cry when i got the email that said the department had nothing for me to teach the following semester.

i really wasn’t the same after the breakdown. i went from “i can do anything i put my mind to no matter how hard it is or how much it hurts” to “i have to step carefully, and treat myself gently.” i hadn’t fully realized that yet, though, so i tried to get a Real Job. i got the first and only job i applied to, because i am bad at nearly everything but somehow i’m exceptional in interviews. it wasn’t a bank but it offered the same sort of benefits package. it was a full-time salaried position at a non-profit. if i had found it earlier, i think it would have been my dream job. it was the kind of work you throw yourself into because you care so much about doing good. 

i lasted a month. during the first week something happened that triggered me in a way i’m very rarely triggered. i realized i needed disability accommodations, but i needed to go to a doctor to get an assessment and i had to be on the team 60 days in order to get insurance. i thought i could white-knuckle it, and i could, sort of, but every minute i was at work, it felt like i was forced away from the thing i should have been doing. i was constantly trying to write a few paragraphs here and there on my phone when no one was looking. i had to find excuses to take breaks and go to my car and breathe. at one point i told a volunteer i was an english instructor, and she looked at me very confused, and i realized i’d said it in present tense, like it was part of who i was and not a job i did for a while. then finally, my breaking point was an after-hours function. when i left i saw a field full of fireflies and thought about how, if i’d just stayed home, i could have sat outside and enjoyed them all evening, not just a glance at them on the way to my car. i liked the job but it was making me miss all the things i’d learned to love about being alive.

i quit the next day. i’d sold my house by then (which was its own feat) and moved in with my grandma, which hadn’t been a possibility until my grandpa passed away the previous spring. i paid off my car. i figured out finally that i would probably never be able to work full-time again unless it was teaching, and that the downside to this life would be accepting fear and instability, only being able to look ahead one semester at a time. staying open to the opportunities that arise. being a little selfish. 

i wrote a bit more about the financial realities of the writing life here. i can’t tell you what you should do, because the path i took definitely isn’t the path for everyone, but i do believe we all owe it to ourselves to pursue our best and happiest lives, because we only get one, and there’s no reason not to live it the way you want to. 

[fandom-necromancer]

Time for a vacation

This was prompted by an amazing anon! I really like Gavin and Eli as bros! Hope you enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Characters: Elijah & Gavin | Background Ship: Reed900

‘Ah damn, when was the last time we were here?’, Elijah sighed as he exited the car he had parked manually after the automated driver had refused to go off-road. ‘I would guess before you decided to play god?’, Gavin answered, smiling as Elijah looked at him insecurely. ‘Hey, just a joke. But seriously, haven’t been here in a long time. But I still remember it. We used to play volley ball over there.’ ‘You were terrible.’ ‘Says the one who was even worse than that.’ That made Elijah chuckle and shut the door, while Gavin was already excitedly gathering his bag and tried to get a hold of the next one. By then, Nines and Chloe had also made it out of the car and it was the RK900 that shoved his human away from the boot. ‘I will take care of that, Gavin, go and look for a nice place, will you?’ Immediately, the human had let go and bolted.

‘Good to see he is still as easily excitable as he was when we were young’, Elijah chuckled and took his share before locking the car and walking over to the spot Gavin was already frantically waving from. ‘He is’, Nines nodded. ‘And he really meant it as a joke, he told me on multiple occasions I was the best thing to ever happen to him and you were the reason for my creation.’ He winked at Cyberlife’s reinserted CEO. ‘Use that information however you may wish.’ He left Elijah standing there and walked the rest of the way. The human smirked, then followed.

They sat down on the blanket in the sand and stared ahead over the Lake Huron, that, if you didn’t know it was a lake, seemed to stretch endlessly like the open sea. Nines and Chloe had decided that sitting around and talking about the olden times was something inherently human ergo boring and had taken to exploring the beach. What left Gavin and Elijah alone on their blanket. ‘I still remember Lizzy and Dad taking us up here’, Gavin spoke up as the silence stretched and only the waves could be heard. ‘Simpler times.’ ‘You think so?’, Eli asked. ‘I don’t know, 2020 was a bitch.’ ‘Yeah, alright. But except that… I mean, it was all still… working out, you know?’ ‘You mean mom?’ Gavin nodded. ‘I mean I didn’t really know my mom, stayed with dad and never really saw her, but from what I’ve heard…’ He swallowed. ‘I always looked up to Lizzy and thought that she would never be like that.’ ‘Yeah, I’d hoped my mom would be different, too’, Elijah agreed. ‘I know I wasn’t home a lot back then but… Well, some things reached even me at Colbridge.’

‘Phck, this was supposed to be fun, not us getting depressed over the past’, Gavin laughed and leaned back. ‘Come on. We both know what happened and that it was shitty and that we were far better off in Detroit far away from them. That’s like... canon now. Tell me what I don’t know! What are you working on at the moment?’ ‘Err…’ Kamski threw him a nervous side glance, Gavin immediately caught onto. ‘Hey, I know I won’t understand a thing. Just try to explain it. If I can’t figure it out, it’s my shitty brain’s fault.’ ‘I believe the best Detective of the DPD is cleverer than he likes to think’, Eli teased. ‘Whoo, someone stared at the employee of the month posters a bit too long’, Gavin waved it away. ‘Come on, humour me.’

‘Pff, I don’t even know Gavin. These days I’m not stuck in the lab all day. Honestly, I mostly am a representative and manage finances… There’s little room for creativity and I believe the politics of companies are one of the least interesting things for you.’ ‘I know Cyberlife’s trying hard to hide their racist views. Gotta be the new android-healthcare supplier that helps them build mods and get their own bodies and stuff.’ ‘Hey, it wasn’t racist as they really just were machines.’ ‘Oh, come on. Do household robots really need to look human? Can’t tell me deviancy wasn’t a shiny experiment gone too far.’ ‘We are actually looking into this’, Elijah remembered. ‘Where did it come from? It’s a really interesting questions, because we don’t really know and… What?’ Gavin had crossed his arms behind his head, smiled and closed his eyes. ‘Ah, nothing, just that’s my brother. Doesn’t matter if you are working numbers all the time and are immensely frustrated over… I don’t know copyright strikes or something. You still have that spark you had when you first soldered together your first circuits and almost burned yourself.’ ‘Oh come on, I didn’t-‘ ‘You didn’t, but who is to thank for that?’ ‘You’, Eli chuckled. ‘Alright, yes, I still sit alone at home in my lab when I’m back from work and I might have to tell the researchers to turn a blind eye on some lines because I might not be entirely innocent when it comes to deviancy, but-‘ Gavin had opened his mouth at that point, but Eli shushed him. ‘Hey, I certainly didn’t expect this, I wanted to prove a point, that’s all. But anyways, I wanted to ask about you. What are you doing lately?’

Gavin exhaled deeply, frowning. ‘Not much, really. I’m still living in my flat with my cats. Well, and Nines, who is amazing and awesome and sweat and-‘ ‘You have a boyfriend, yes, I’m aware, what else?’ ‘Hey, we’re engaged, okay? I’m serious. Might even marry that one.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Hey, my other boyfriends were assholes, it seems I inherited my taste in bad partners from dad, but that doesn’t apply to Nines, because he’s the driving force for once. Anyways, Nines is perfect, and I plan on spending the rest of my life with him, because I’ve been lonely and miserable for too long.’ He took a break to breathe and continued: ‘Yeah, cats, Nines, flat. What else? I’ve nearly finished repairing that old bike I’ve bought.’ Eli blinked. ‘That’s been sitting in that garage for how long now?’ ‘Too long, but it’ll be finished next summer, I swear! Also, might finally get back to narcotics now that the others have homicide back under control. I’ve seen enough murdered people and crying family members for a while.’ ‘And narcotics is better, because...?’ ‘Because there generally isn’t as much drama. I mean come on, who uses Red Ice? The super-rich people I don’t care for-‘ ‘Hey!’ ‘And the lowest people that have done far worse than drugs. Everyone in between uses the normal stuff. You don’t have to explain a grieving wife or husband why their partners aren’t coming back. Or what’s actually worse: you don’t have to talk to severely traumatised androids who will be punished for a crime that was self-defence. Like you know no court will let them go, not yet, not when everyone still thinks they are machines.’ ‘And there we are at the depressive part again…’

Gavin chuckled. ‘Yeah, I guess. But I’m really happy to get back into it and Nines will get his Detective badge soon too. Has to retake Academy classes now because programming isn’t enough anymore. Well, once he made it, we will be partners. Can’t wait for that.’ ‘What happened to “I don’t do partners”?’ ‘He became “I do partners”’, Gavin smirked. ‘If you know what I mean.’ ‘Argh, why do I even talk to you?’, Elijah asked equally disgusted and amused. ‘Hey, as long as you are happy…’

‘We do have to meet more often’, Gavin demanded once his laughter had calmed. ‘I miss you, even if you are the slimiest person alive. Was a good idea coming here for the weekend.’ ‘I have to agree’, Elijah nodded and focussed back on an enormous container ship in the distance. ‘I missed talking to you, too. Calling over the phone simply isn’t the same.’ ‘Yeah.’ Gavin sat up again and suddenly perked up as he looked at someone behind Elijah, causing the man to turn, too.

‘Oh, Chloe, I could kiss you, there’s nothing better than hot-dogs on the beach, I’m starving!’ That marked the end of their conversation, as the two androids had come back with food and drinks. But Elijah had gotten to know what he had wanted to hear. And there would be plenty of occasions for more now.

[nade2308]

First Lines of Last 20....

Guidelines: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20,  just list them all.) Choose your favorite opening line, tag some friends!

Tagged by @impossiblepluto. Thanks friend!

(And just as always, I deviate from the mold and I give you more than just the first lines and/or my favorite lines 😈)

1. You don't know you are beautiful

Jack was so pissed. He was thrumming with nervous energy and was itching for a fight. Especially with that good for nothing, piece of shit, pretentious and pompous guy they were sent to retrieve because he had valuable intel the Phoenix stumbled upon by chance.

2. Catch you when you fall

Scott was always ready to push himself further, just that one step towards the tipping point. He thought if he went harder, and longer, that it will yield better results, but it wasn't always the case. That frustrated him even more and then he was angry at himself for doing that to himself and his friends. And to his dad. His dad who bent himself forwards and backwards to make sure Scott had everything he needed and more.

3. Coming home to you

You know that feeling when you want something so bad, but you have to wait for it? Yeah, Mac was feeling like that now. He was this close to losing it after the op ended. He couldn't wait to get back to Jack. Well, get back to Jack and get laid in the process.

4. "There's still time to change the road you're on"

Jack was in Texas for the birthday of his nephew and it just happened that his nephew was best friends with the kid of one of Jack's old flames. Well, more like a summer relationship, but seventeen year old Jack thought she was it. They had a thing that was actually cute and sweet. He took her out on dates at the local pizza place, and she took him to community events.

5. 98.Separated

Alina Chernyshevsky was a Russian scientist working at a lab in LA, on a scholarship who was kidnapped by a rogue crime group almost a week ago. The Phoenix was tasked with recovering her and capturing any of the members of the group they could find. It turned out that the son of a banker, the daughter of a businessman and the brother and sister, the kids of one of the most powerful Romanian crime groups had one thing in common. They wanted to get out from under the shadow that their parents put them in. So they formed their own union, and thanks to the ties Andrei Bogdan, their leader, had from his father's world, they quickly made their way up in the underground dark world. Climbing up the ladders, they did the odd jobs here and there, hits on important people for hire, and it was based on their combined knowledge of the finances, the system and the law, that they stayed undetected and under the radar for so long. Until Alina discovered some sample or another in the lab that was brought for testing and she made herself a target and was kidnapped in broad daylight.

6. Dye Hard

It wasn't like it was something he was dying to try. He was just looking at pictures of people with wonderfully done hair. Which happened to also be dyed in all the colors of the rainbow and more. It was just research. For an experiment. He was sure he was going to be told off again for experimenting so he kept it just to himself.

7. Sweet child o' mine

Riley woke up to the persistent ringing of her phone. She was having a very nice dream, drinking mai-tai's, at the Hilton Hawaiian Village, and now she was brought back to reality by the shrill tone of her phone.

8. Mac and Jack + softness

They had experienced bad missions before. It wasn't that uncommon, since almost every mission they worked on turned bad real fast. But there were some missions that took bad to the next level.

9. Jack + migraine + birthday

Mac was shivering even with the blanket wrapped around him. They were on their exfil flight, and the heat was on for his sake, but Mac's worry wasn't for himself, but for Jack. Jack, who was squinting at the bright sky and had his head tilted in an awkward angle because apparently he was hurting. And Mac had a pretty good idea what was the cause.

10. 9.Helpless

The drive back to Mac's place was a blur. Jack focused on the road and tried not to think of what they were told or the treatment that might have reversed all of their hard work on making Mac's hands heal and be okay.

11. 72.Painless

When Mac first noticed the car that was tailing him, he was several blocks away from Jack's place. They were supposed to have a movie night with the team, Jack already texted him to tell Mac that Riley was there with him.

12. 26.Flinch

Mac jerked away from the hand that was shaking his shoulder and immediately backed up to the corner of the bed. Someone was talking in a low voice, but Mac was still a bit disoriented and couldn't place the voice. Or the words.

13. 12.Confusion & 26. flinch

When Mac woke up, he could tell that something was different. There wasn't a creepy stare to watch over him, nor the blinking dot on the camera in the corner.

14. 5.Bruised

Jack let his kid take his fill by looking him up and down. Jack knew that he looked a little bit worse for wear, but that was normal in their line of work. This time however, it was from something else. And judging by the way Mac was eyeing him, he didn't manage to hide it well.

15. 56. Begging

Mac wanted to scream. It was hurting him to just breathe, but the pain was unbearable. He didn't know if the lash that caught his side, or the one that split the skin above the small of his back, hurt more.

16. Jack Sr. + Wrist Cuff

It takes all his willpower not to go back to the room he just vacated. He promised Riley and Mac that he'll take a break. It was nonnegotiable. Mac went so far as to tell him to go and take a good sleep. That Mac wasn't going to vanish again. He promised.

17. Fire Pit + Nightmares

Mac didn't know what woke him up. He's sure it was something and not a sound he made up in his dream. Mac turned around in bed and for a moment he was a bit disoriented. He blinked a few times and then looked at the digital watch on his nightstand. It was a little after 2am.

18. "Whenever your world starts crashing down, that's when you'll find me"

"Hours later (Jack's not sure about the time, he left his watch at home) the party is dying down. He is watching the night lights twinkling in the distance, mixed with lights from building windows, and homes and offices. LA is alive as always, traffic present even in this late hour. Everyone knows that NYC is the city that never sleeps, but Jack wants to argue how LA doesn't fall far behind the Big Apple. Especially since Jack has watched this city in all the times of day and night and can attest to that."

19. Si te doy mi corazón, lo tratarás con ternura

1. Tickling

Mac was studying for an exam and Jack was bored. It was one of those days. Really, there was a lot to be done in the house, and Jack barely had a time for himself and Mac these days, but on a rare night where he had absolutely nothing of importance to do… and Jack was bored. 

20. The Center of Their World

Mac was writhing in Jack's lap, and Jack moaned at the drag of Mac's cock against his hip as Jack had Mac's ass spread and a finger inside him already.  He instinctively backed up against the headboard of their ridiculously big bed, and threw his head out because the contact between him and Mac was explosive in the least.

Tagging: @sabbystarlight @82tweeder @dixons-mama @improvidus @panchostokes @erinsworld @nativestarwrites @kerkerian @starryhc @thesammykinz @dont-stop-believin-in-klaine @demonicsoulmates @rai-knightshade @telltaleclerk and whoever sees this and wants to do it, consider yourself tagged.

[purplesurveys]

1127

1. What is one thing you will never do again? Watch The Hours. Film itself is great, but is way too triggering.

2. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? I’d take happiness easily. It’s not bad for the most part to make mistakes and I’d rather be too clumsy than be altogether miserable.

3. What happened the last time you cried? It was the day of what would’ve been our anniversary and at that moment I was alone in my car at a parking lot (waiting for the office to open) on a gloomy day. I just had to cry and let my feelings out for like 5 minutes to accept everything but I was immediately fine afterwards, haha. Grief can be funny.

4. What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something? My first job interview. It was my first adult thing ever. They never got back to me - very professional of them - but I was still grateful for the experience nonetheless.

5. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? That I was in a whole ass relationship for technically 6 1/2 years. They probably have an inkling by now, but only about me being in a relationship. I’m sure they would be very surprised if they ever found out how long it had actually gone for.

6. What’s your worst habit? I pick at my toenails when I’m nervous or stressed. I tend to do this when I’m doing a work task that I particularly dread, and sometimes I’ll end up being fixated on the habit for like 10 minutes straight and not get anything done.

7. What superpower would you have for one day? Time travel, just to take quick trips to multiple decades and see how life was like during those times.

8. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on? Matty from 13 Going on 30 would be one of them. Albert Finney’s character in Two for the Road is also charming as fuck.

9. Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world? If money wasn’t an issue, probably somewhere cozy in like Switzerland or Canada.

10. What is your most bizarre pet peeve? Not necessarily a pet peeve but I get extremely uncomfortable when someone hands me a gift then they insult the gift while in front of me, saying it’s not a great gift or that I probably don’t need it, etc. Filipinos also have this habit of saying something along the lines of, “You earn way more than me so you’d probably think this gift sucks” like how do you want me to react :(((((( I love receiving gifts and the idea of being thought about already means a lot to me, so it just makes me wince a little bit when I hear statements like the above.

11. Who knows you the best? Gabie, probably. I’ve changed a lot since then, though.

12. What after school activities did you do in high school? Clubs were mandatory extracurricular activities in my high school; in my time, I joined the table tennis and yearbook clubs.

13. What “most likely to” superlative would you be most honored to receive? Idk, we didn’t have those in school. I probably would have been honored to get a journalism-themed one though; something like Most Likely To Write for NYT or Most Likely to Win a Pulitzer or something like that. Obviously that’s changed now and I’ve long let go of journalism as a passion.

14. What’s the last book you really loved? I haven’t read in a long, long while.

15. What was the greatest television show of all time? I don’t watch a lot of TV so I’m not the most credible decision-making body for this lol, but out of all the shows I’ve watched the best one would easily be Breaking Bad.

16. What’s been your favorite age so far? 16. Life was insanely easygoing back then and everything fell into place for me at the time.

17. If you could go back in time, what is one piece of advice you would give your younger self? Know when it’s enough. Be kind to yourself.

18. What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Have kids.

19. Apologize or ask permission? I don’t understand the relationship between the two.

20. Unlimited love or money? I would love to never have to worry about finances ever again.

21. If you knew you would die in one week, what would you do? Take a week-long leave for work, spend all my money, bond with my dogs, throw a party for my closest friends, and honestly, make my peace with her.

22. What’s your most listened to song? Spotify doesn’t show that feature, but I bet it’s from Paramore or Hayley anyway. It would be impossible to know my most-listened to song of all time, like if we took into account my Spotify, iTunes, etc.

23. Beach vacation or European vacation? I need a beach vacation badly, but a European vacation would be a new and different experience. I’d take the latter.

24. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Playing the piano.

25. What’s the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Depends on how much I won lmao. I’d probably retire this early if the money was big enough since I’m pretty stingy anyway. But generally, I would like to pay off whatever bills my parents are currently paying for, get back the car that we had to sell because of the pandemic, and maybe go for a solo vacation or five heheh.

26. What celebrity would you trade lives with? Kylie Jenner, for a day. Just so I can briefly have a taste of how being that rich is like.

27. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? Nope.

28. What story do your friends still give you crap about? Staying with Gab despite the red flags that glared for four whole years is one of them. Angela will also never let go of that one time I tried some kind of fruit juice in high school and I described it as ‘packs a punch.’ It’s understood as a super Westernized idiom where I live and literally no one uses it in a casual sentence, so it was a hit with her and now we use ‘packs a punch’ whenever we want to describe something awesome or surprising.

29. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Mayonnaise and I will die on this mayonnaise-coated hill.

30. What is the ideal number of people to have over on a Friday night? Ideally? At this point? Like 20. I would love for that to be the case on the first Friday we can consider the Philippines COVID-free.

31. What was the worst age you’ve been so far? Sorry for yet another incoming Paramore reference but they literally have a lyric that goes, “22 is like, the worst idea that I have ever had.” Before turning 22 I used to think it was a weird line, like how could 22 possibly be unenjoyable? Now I’m 22 in a pandemic going through a rough breakup and I can’t even see my friends nor work in my first workplace ever.

32. What is your weirdest dealbreaker? If they wanted only cats as pets. I can deal with a dog and a cat, I guess; but cats were never fond of me so I feel like I’d struggle with this situation lol.

33. What fictional character reminds you most of yourself? Mr. Peanutbutterrrrrrr. Has a lot of love to give, doesn’t always use it on the right people. Also lives on pleasing others.

34. Do you believe in karma? Just to a tiny extent, in how I would want people’s awful actions to come bite them in the ass one day. It’s not a philosophy that controls my life and the things I do whatsoever.

35. What was your favorite TV show as a kid? My absolute favorite was Hi-5, with the original cast. As I got older my interests shifted to Spongebob and The Fairly OddParents.

36. What is the weirdest thing you find attractive in a person? I don’t think it’s weird, but I don’t hear thighs too often when people list down their favorite physical traits. It’s certainly one of mine.

37. What Jeopardy! category would you clear, no problem? A Friends-themed one, obviously. This reminds me of the Jeopardy night I had with some friends a few nights ago! That was so much fun, and Andi makes really great and fun questions hahaha.

38. What is something you’re superstitious about? I don’t think I am about anything.

39. What is the scariest experience you have ever had? Maybe that night my grandpa went into a drunk rampage. I was 9, right in his line of sight, frozen and scared shitless, and I didn’t know who he was going to strike next.

40. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? I never really think about this. If someone’s a non-politician then there must be a reason they aren’t, lol.

41. What cheesey song do you have memorized? Little Things by One Direction is very cheesy and it’s one of my least favorite songs of theirs, but I still have it memorized out of habit.

42. What one dead person would you most like to have dinner with, if it were possible? My great-grandpa died all the way back in the 70s, even before some of my aunts and uncles could meet him. It would be cool to spend time with him.

43. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? Yeah, absolutely. I have the stomach for it lol, so I always monitor what’s happening locally and globally. Skipping the news from time to time is fine because I get how anxiety-inducing and depressing some events can be, but there’s a huge difference between ignoring the news for your mental health and being indifferent altogether. I’d immediately judge anyone who’s the latter, and would assume you are incredibly privileged.

44. What is the best present you could ever receive? My money refunded -____________- I had food delivered to my director, Bea’s house as a surprise earlier today, but apparently I ran into a scammer driver and the fucker drove away with the meal I had bought for Bea. I reported the driver and the situation, and thankfully the customer service rep of the food delivery app quickly responded and said they’d return the full amount I paid for; but I still haven’t received it.

45. Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free wifi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? No. Mobile data exists for a reason.

46. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Check out my voice.

47. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? I’d love to surprise Angela with an overseas trip that would last for like a month. Traveling is one thing we have yet to do as best friends.

48. What is the nicest thing someone could say about you? Nothing particular, but it makes me happy when people call me strong and when they validate the shit I’ve gone through over the years.

49. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? I would take the giant house. When it comes to my own place, I would want to have a lot of space to roam around.

50. What is the weirdest quirk your family has? Nothing is coming to mind.

[riseofmoonxchild]

b i t t e r ⬴ ʇ ǝ ǝ ʍ s // chapter four

➴pairing – jimin x reader – taehyung x reader – [ft. namjoon]

➴genre – fluff // angst

➴theme – college!au // jimin!barista // taehyung!artist

You developed a little crush on the barista at your local coffee shop, Jimin. While you start going to the cafe regularly, thinking it as harmless and innocent, you don’t realize that your interest in him will catch the attention of Taehyung, the most-liked boy in school. As the two of them stir up an almost espresso-and-milk-kind-of element to your school life and study load, you find yourself involved in a more complicated situation than you were prepared for.

»listen to the bittersweet playlist titled “coffee shop boy” here.

« m e l t i n g »

✰

You stared out the window, chin resting on your hand. How would Jimin and Taehyung know each other? Let alone, how could they be friends? 

Just the thought almost made your stomach churn again. Like you had swallowed something bitter. They just don’t seem like two people whose worlds would ever overlap.. you contemplated. 

Strangely, unknowingly, you had never been at the coffee shop at the right times, in which Taehyung would frequently visit Jimin, keeping him company by checking in on him, or just hanging in the cafe to study or do homework. Even though the two were roommates and Tae saw Jimin basically every day. 

I’m here to support my friend, Taehyung would always make as an excuse, jokingly, I have to show that you’re brining in customers. That the business is profiting just by having you as their employee. Of course I’m not the only one coming in for Park Jimin, but I’m here to represent your case.

Nevertheless, you couldn’t imagine such a thing. Even though you didn’t really know Taehyung that well. But you did know of him, for sure. The whole school did, you had to admit. 

Very abruptly breaking your daze, Namjoon popped himself right in your field of view, in the chair on the other side of the table. You could only look at him startled, delayed enough that Namjoon picked right up on it. “Daydreaming?” He gently accused. Without waiting for you to respond, “You didn’t get anything for me?” He paused, confusedly, “Or for yourself, I see…?”

“Wait- how’d you- when-” After stuttering for a few moments, you gave up. 

“Oh come on, Y/N. You’re always here. If I really need to find you, I don’t have to try that hard. Besides, considering the way you were acting last night, and the fact that you haven’t been responding to my texts, I knew you’d be here.” He informed you matter-of-factly. “But you usually do have coffee on you at all times.”

Before you had a chance to deny any of it or offer a salty retort, Jimin had quietly approached your table. He placed a beautifully layered cappuccino in front of you, the cream and espresso and foam forming three distinct layers, topped with caramel drizzle- and you had to stop your brief gawking to smile, bubbles forming in your chest. The caramel was in the shape of a smiley face—childish but not cringy, coming from Jimin. 

Jimin just laughed, a little embarrassed, and left rather quickly. But not before you saw him quickly catch a glimpse of Namjoon. 

You didn’t even have time to process, and Joon teased, “I also know that it doesn’t hurt when barista boy is here.” He wiggled his eyebrows a little, shamelessly giving you a knowing look. “Is that him?” He took a moment, glaring at Jimin intensely. “Wait!” You could tell he was becoming more and more intrigued, “Wasn’t he there last night? At Club Avenue? Is that why-”

Before Joon could finish his sentence, and he started picking out the clues and hounding you with questions, slightly embarrassed and slightly annoyed, you tried diverting the conversation, “Barista boy has a name.”

Namjoon just raised his eyebrows, anticipating.

You whispered, exasperated, “Jimin.” You just leaned back in your chair, arms crossed. As soon as you felt your cheeks warming, you turned your head to look back out at the window, avoiding any obligation to continue the conversation. 

Namjoon also leaned back, smirking in amusement. He didn’t bask too long in the moment, though he would have if his eyes hadn’t caught the scribbles on the napkin Jimin had left with your coffee. 

Hope this helps you start off your new day :)

You caught Namjoon in the act, and you followed his line of vision. You picked up the napkin, dumbfounded, and brought it closer to your face. A bit too enthusiastic and confused, you exclaimed, “Huh?” Much more quietly, you tried to contain the mix of excitement and fluster that was melting your heart. When you realized what it said, and who wrote it, you brought it to your chest to conceal it, as if it would erase the memory from Namjoon’s mind. 

After your sudden burst of elation faded, the realization brought you back to reality almost immediately. Now every other emotion was overburdened by your recurring feeling of embarrassment. Whether Joon had been there or not, your face wouldn’t have been an any lighter shade of red. 

“A love note?” He teased, mocking your look of swoon, or at least his interpretation of it.

“Yah! Hajima, stop that.” But this time, you didn’t hide the shy smile that started to give itself away, or the giddiness glowing all over your face, or your bubbles of light laughter.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Jimin nervously bit his lower lip. Why am I so nervous about one little note?

Before he could see you discover what he had shyly tried to hide under your plate and cup, Jimin had sprinted and hid, excusing himself to wash a few dishes in the back and “check inventory.” He had stayed there for about the past ten minutes, driving himself crazy with over-thinking everything. 

He ran his hand through his hair, deep in contemplation, eyebrows furrowed, and then suddenly let out an exasperated scream “Ahhhh- wae! Why’d I do that?” 

After a moment or two for him to calm himself down, one of his coworkers peaked his head in the back, “Um.. Is everything okay back here?”

Jimin scrambled to make himself look busy, “Ah- everything’s fine-” his slight panic, mixed with a sudden clumsiness, had him knocking over a box from the shelf. “Oh!” He quickly recovered it, laughing nervously in the process, looking back at his coworker. “I’ll be out right away!”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You could still feel your face burning. You could feel the pink on your face. I know this doesn’t mean anything. But.. it’s still really nice. He actually noticed you, and you could feel the sweetness in the coffee he made you. You didn’t know why this mattered so much to you but—it meant you had made at least a small connection, and Jimin must have acknowledged that too. 

After a few more minutes spent deep in thought, you turned back to Joon, more seriously. “Hey.. Joon..” You approached him with your words hesitantly, eyes shifting to look at the napkin your fingers were absentmindedly folding.

There was something at your core. It was bothering you, but you couldn’t give it a name. It was bothering you so much, that the barista boy’s kind gesture made you feel even more anxious. 

“Eo, wae? Museun il-iya? Hmm, what is it?” Even though he seemed relaxed, Joon was wavering just a bit inside, anxious as to why you had been extra stressed and somewhat distant this past semester. Usually the both of you would relieve the others’ stress, watching movies together and laughing about stupid things, taking late night walks to get a break from never-ending term papers, anything to help each other put on those we don’t care that we’re failing classes even though they kinda mean everything right now or we don’t know what we’re gonna do after we graduate but we’re just here to live life one day at a time attitudes, to brave it all as the others’ partner-in-crime through life. But you wouldn’t let him in as openly as you had before, when you used to talk about everything.

When you had gathered yourself again, you quickly scanned your surroundings, noticing students from your school. Though they were wrapped up in their own worlds and own concerns, something like paranoia squeezed at your chest. 

You looked Joon in the eyes, “Do you wanna go, like, to the library.. or something?” 

He didn’t even question the fact that it was already winter break, and that there wasn’t really a reason to be there. He knew you needed the quiet and to be lost in a maze of bookshelves, and a friend to keep you more company than the books could offer.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You weren’t doing anything for winter break. And you didn’t want to stay in your dorm room to feel yourself slowly going insane, or bathing in self-loathe—over how lame it was to not be spending your vacation with family or friends. So, you decided the most productive thing you could do was work on finding a job. You couldn’t afford the time or the finances to take a break. 

You were FaceTiming Joon, because—heck—going from seeing him everyday to not at all made you feel lonely, and, you admitted, you missed him (just a little). 

“Yeah! So you know that one bookstore—the one on the corner by you and Hobi’s apartment?”

“You mean the one that I’ve been going to since freshman year.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you nodded your head enthusiastically, wanting to continue with your announcement. “Well I-”

“You mean the one-” he interrupted, “that you were so excited to find last semester. The one we pass like all the time to go to 7/11. And you felt so proud to discover for the first time.” He started laughing, but he kept going, as he could see your face falling into a scowl. “And you were all like ‘Joon-ie! I discovered the best place to study, you won’t believe it.’ And you kept going on, ‘They have new books, like really crisp and fresh. But then they also have like classic used ones- like you know the ones with that old book smell and-’” 

He was having way too much fun imitating you.

“Hey!” You interrupted, half-heartedly trying to defend yourself, “..I never call you.. Joonie.” 

But he wasn’t listening to you, still cackling over the memory as it resurfaced in his memory, “‘It’s just so cute.’” He mimicked you. And at this point all you could do was fume at his fun-making in silence. “And then you were so upset at me, when I wasn’t excited to hear about something I had already found like months ago. And you were mad at me for not sharing the place with you, but I had literally told you it was there, or mentioned it, when we passed by it. Like more than once, Y/N.” 

Namjoon’s eyes scrunched up, and he put his hand over his eyes as he continued giggling.

The whole time you scoffed, or tried to interject, but you knew it was pointless. You secretly loved it, but on the outside you were as indifferent and annoyed as you could feign. “Okay, I get it. I’m totally oblivious.”

“Now-” You started again, determinedly, as if Namjoon had not just made you recount the mortifying moment. “As I was saying, I talked to the owner—you know the really cute haraboji—and he was happy to hire someone to help around the store.”

As Namjoon was still collecting himself, you frowned, waiting for him to start listening to you again. “Okay, okay, I’m listening. Yes, really cute grandpa. That’s definitely a perk.”

You continued, “Yeah, and you know how it’s really hard to get in the smaller spaces or maneuver around some of the piles of books.”

“Mhmmm.”

“Yeah, well.. I guess I can be somewhat useful..”

Namjoon laughed, this time in an endearing way, “Yeah. That’s great, Y/N.”

“And alsooooo,” you batted your lashes, “You’ll probably get to see more of me. Since I’ll be so close.”

He pretended to be confused, waiting for more information. 

“Okay, well, is that not interesting enough for you?” 

“It’s great, I’m just thinking about how to keep you from coming over and eating all my snacks.”

You tried to hit him through the screen and he laughed. And then you just started laughing, only half-attempting to pretend to be mad, “Well fine then. I guess I’ll just come over to see Hobi.”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

A week’s worth of winter break had already passed, and you had settled into a comfortable routine: waking up late—or what was late for not having 8AM classes—working the afternoon shift, and hanging at the coffee shop in the evenings—even though a certain barista hadn’t been there—and alternating between reading and writing. 

And you’d usually make up an excuse to call Namjoon everyday, usually at the same time. Eventually he caught on, and even called you when you didn’t stick to your normal pattern. “Did something happen to you? You usually call by now. I have to make sure you’re not dead. It’s not like you have a next door neighbor or something to check on you.”

But, lately, you had been busy writing about a main character who was an artist, and so you had spent what free time you had reading about different methods of art and famous art pieces. Luckily, you worked in the perfect place to find resources with that kind of information.

You would admit it, that you took advantage your position a little. But in all honestly, the store haraboji didn’t mind at all. You knew he had already caught you a couple of times perusing some of the aisles when it was slow. 

You walked back to one of the far corners of the store to return one of the painting books you had been scanning. But, along with your feet, your heart stopped dead in their tracks. You were paralyzed. “Kim T-T-Taehyung,” you whispered to yourself, in partial stun and partial fear. 

He was standing, head down and eyes intensely attentive to the page he was studying. His fingers, long and slender, moved along the text of the page, and his eyes followed. Like his features, the movement was precise and delicate. As you unknowingly concentrated on him, the ends of his hair brushing against his eyelashes, his lips relaxed and slightly parted, totally enveloped by what he was reading—your heart started racing in a different way. Not out of fear. Something about his presence, when you took a moment to take it in, was relaxing. No wonder people found him pleasant.. pleasant to talk to, pleasant to look at.. 

“Um, excuse me-” You jumped a little, squeaking at the brisk voice slicing through your reverie. 

When you turned around, you saw another very familiar face. Lee Mina. She had been in one of your classes last year. She was the same year as you. Before you could recoil from the nasty memories she brought back, she asked, “Could you put this back?” As she shoved it in your hands, she looked you up and down and then commented, displeased, “I don’t want it anymore.” 

You scowled, mouth half-open about respond to her rude remark, but she walked right past you, “Oh- Taehyung-oppa.” 

You just cringed. For more than one reason, but mostly because of how fake Mina’s surprised act was, and how her voice suddenly became a pitch or two higher. 

You couldn’t resist, to turn your head and watch Taehyung’s reaction. And for the first time in a year, you and Taehyung made eye contact.  

☾——————————————————————————————————☽

A/N: so the question is--did tae go to the bookshop intentionally, or was it just “fate”? ;))

i was actually planning on posting this at the end of summer, but things got really crazy. I was actually studying abroad in Korea this past semester--it was amazing~~ If you’re still here--whether you’re coming back for more, or if you’ve just stumbled upon this little guy--thank you for reading!! this is my precious bb, because i actually have a lot of plans, ideas for plot direction. and some later content already prepared, ayeeee. but it has been a bit neglected, ahhh ㅠㅠ 

but! i’m excited to come back, so please stay with me~ much love♥ 

—moonie☾✧

☽

→ preview // prev. // chapter four // next (coming)

→ “coffee shop boy” playlist

⋆

taglist: @monvieesdaebak @karissassirak @litchinu 💕

[life-of-tjackie]

15 Cheapest Cities In Europe To Visit

If you love sandy beaches, Fuerteventura's got 30 miles to discover, sunbathe and usually chill out on. But get into the water too, as together with swimming watersports are big here - mainly as a result of it’s a bit breezy. Which additionally turns out to be useful for climbing and biking round the island - it’s an UNESCO designated Biosphere so you actually want to go to the mountains and (dormant) volcanoes.

Stroll by way of Gamla Stan, visit City Hall (the place the Nobel Peace Prize is awarded every year), and take a day cruise via the archipelago. Explore three of Scandinavia’s great cities on this Europe itinerary. Disaster leveled "the Paris of the West" a century in the past — and its aftermath echoes through the city today.

How to Make an Itinerary for Every Trip You Take

Dine on connoisseur cuisine, drink fine wines, relax on the seaside, and get a taste of the great life. This is an effective way to spend 10 days in Europe. At the end of this article, we give ideas that can assist you choose one of the best Europe itinerary on your touring style and the season that you simply plan to visit Europe. Despite that includes “liquor drips” with free tequila right in your hotel room, Hotel Riu Palace Mexico isn’t a spot for spring breakers.

If you’re feeling nervous, don’t fear — that’s completely regular. You’re about to embark on a tremendous adventure — and that’s a huge change.

Most folks want several days in a spot where they couldn’t see a museum or take a tour even if they needed to. A cease within the mountains or on an island, in a pleasant rural city, or on the home of a relative is an effective way to revitalize your vacationer spirit. If you’re passionate about Renaissance art, Florence is a must. England’s Cotswolds beckon to those that fantasize about thatched cottages, time-passed villages, and sheep lazing on green hillsides. For World War II buffs, there’s no more stirring expertise than a go to to Normandy.

What are the cheapest all inclusive vacations?

The late fall and winter months—from mid/late October through mid/late March—are often the cheapest time to fly to Europe (though fares can spike in December). It's often cheaper to fly to Europe mid-week, on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, in particular.

Passport pictures will price you about an extra $10, or you can print your own for free at ePassportPhoto. Europe has an insane quantity of good beer and wine — so you must pattern all you can.

This is considered one of our favorite 10 day trips of all time. The landscapes, the lovable fishing villages, the epic climbing trails…you're in for a treat. This is one of our hottest itineraries and a wonderful approach to spend 10 days in Europe. A street journey on the Ring Road is considered one of Iceland’s greatest experiences.

In-Depth Breakdown Of Estimating Your Travel Costs

While you get nearer to your objective, make sure that you keep feeding your need to travel. Travel planning could be exhausting and overwhelming — particularly should you don’t have help out of your friends and family. It can often get discouraging and really feel out of reach at times. Traveling solo will provide you with the freedom to go anyplace you need. However, it means you must do all the planning yourself — which may appear daunting if you’re new to journey planning.

To be sincere, outside of the capital, there are quite a couple of of the most affordable cities in Europe which might be based mostly within the Czech Republic. Just ensure to do your homework and visit extra regional cities. Airfare, in fact, is dependent upon your origin, vacation spot, and season of travel.

Europe has an insane amount of excellent beer and wine — so you should sample all you can.

Many of the motels on the island had to fully renovate to cope with vital damage.

Of course, there will be further costs like transportation to and from the airport.

What are you able to anticipate from the luxurious all-inclusive right now? Two out of doors swimming swimming pools — one that just about extends the length of the property — and a two-story spa with a free-to-use hydrotherapy circuit. The fabulous all-inclusive package deal covers prime-shelf liquor, lobster, 12 bars, and 10 gourmand eating places serving every little thing from Mexican to French fare.

Gather Inspiration The next thing you’ll need to do is gather inspiration. This means creating a collection of on-line sources you discovered useful or adding the ideas directly into your Bullet Journal (similar to writing out recipes). Use the ability of the web to search for recipes, get together ornament concepts, and even ideas for fun headers and doodles to embellish your Bullet Journal somewhat for the holidays. Adding these further details would possibly help add a contact of fun to the in any other case annoying thing that is planning for the vacations. A traveller’s delight – this metropolis is probably the preferred metropolis to go to in Poland and comes up trumps everytime you search for cities to visit in Poland.

I and my youngsters usually are not a lot, nevertheless, we do some amount of hiking in native national parks through the warm seasons. I suppose Switzerland with Paris and Italy sounds fantastic. If you live within the Philippines, seeing the snow will probably be a pleasant deal with. 🙂 If you want to go to these three locations, I suggest spending 3 days in Paris, three to 4 days (or extra) within the Bernese Oberland/Lucerne space of Switzerland, and 7 days (or more) in Italy.

We do have a guide to finding low cost flights to Europethat will help you get the best deal attainable. Most folks choose to convey a backpack to Europe. We’ve compiled an inventory of our favorite journey backpacksand created a information on how to choose the proper backpack. If you’re on a price range, ask your friends if they have an old backpack or consider buying used.

It lays out every bit of data you may need in your trip so that you're never left looking around looking for an address or a cellphone number. This means you possibly can spend extra time exploring or enjoyable and fewer time attempting to prepare yourself. Do your analysis about destination prices based mostly on your style of traveling. This is going that will help you decide your daily bills and come up with a day by day price range for your trip.

Once you cross the Atlantic, you'll be able to e-book flights from the U. on discount airlines like EasyJet and Ryanair to hop from metropolis to metropolis or buy a Eurail move, a ticket that lets you journey by prepare throughout 33 nations in Europe. Families are reuniting or touring together for the holidays. so –, and you may count on to pay a premium for flights.

It mechanically gathers your journey reservations from Gmail (no forwarding or manual entry required) and organizes them into individual trips, proper right down to day by day plans. at a tap of a button, Google is all too eager to make some recommendations primarily based on what’s close by, with choices to filter in accordance with your interests and available time. For the more business orientated consumer, offline maps can be found by way of the app’s premium service, as well as a sophisticated journey planner.

Or maybe you can get a seven-day cruise for 70% off, a package deal deal to Hawaii for the price of your flight to Paris, or 50% off sailing journeys around Greece. Traveling with somebody means you have someone to help plan the journey with you. It will make researching your itinerary sooner and you’ll have somebody to spend time with on the highway.

But since we’re finances travelers, I’m going to stay with the cheaper choices. Most frugal-minded, hostel-hopping backpackers spend round $70-$105/day in Western Europe and $40-$eighty/day in Eastern Europe.

Breaking vacation preparations down into small steps makes it simpler to celebrate without last-minute stress. Linking every week's area focus with corresponding holiday prep chores--such as inventorying vacation table linens throughout Bed and Bath week--helps hold the plan targeted and sensible. Written by organizing author, Cynthia Ewer, the HHP is a week-by-week roadmap to clean and organize the whole home by December, while making ready for the vacation season in good time. Beginning on Labor Day weekend, the HHP takes you area-by-space through the home, the place you will reduce the clutter, clean and manage with weekly assignments designed to be do-in a position, not overwhelming.

[jewellsfrommaruss]

u asked me this last sts and i’d like to hear ur answer for it!!! what kind of superpowers/quirks would your characters have??

Sorry for the late response! Me and my roommate are wrapping up our vacation so I got pulled away from the computer for most of the day v.v

Morrigan - Pyrokinesis, she isn’t called the Marussian Dragon for nothing, probably with some underlining super strength

Jadette - She’d have some form of Mental Manipulation so she could get people to agree with her, I don’t think she’d be afraid of using on her family either

Porcia - Mind reading, she’d mostly use it to see how other people feel about her, as neurotic as that would make her

Alwin - Teleportation, the ability to travel to places, and get a break from his responsibilities, instantly would greatly appeal to him

Abudemio - Probability Computation, so this is the ability to calculate probability and predict outcomes which for him would be mostly about finances until he meets Gareth

Mishca - Flight, especially if she got a pair of wings, the freedom of flight and getting to actually fly with her birds would delight her to no end

Cecilia - Aura Reading, though this is already in her wheelhouse I think this is a power she would develop further so she could more easily perceive the people around her

Timothy - Electrokinesis and if you’ve ever played infamous or something like it and surfed on a powerline you’ll see exactly why this power is great for Tim!

Nevan - Invisibility, Nevan is incredibly nervous and I think he’d love the ability to so completely hide

Cheshire - Shapeshifting, he’d go full Mystique transforming into all kinds of people so he can help his people with their criminal endeavors

[smolbeandrabbles]

Mine Would Be You - Jack Morris x Reader (The Meg)

Authors Note: I don’t even know why. So don’t ask. I am interested in the notes this gets. Because... honestly I wrote it for me, so if it gets any... I just... Thank you! I watched this movie on a flight... Because I was like “This will be dumb fun!” and spent the first half like “IS THAT RAINN WILSON!?”  Then apparently when I was on holiday - more than one month later - my brain went “Yo! Remember Jack Morris! You should right a fic for him!” And so, I did. All my notes for this movie are literally “Look at Jack Morris - he’s such a babe” when I watched to decide where the two parts were getting cut... Soooo that should give you an indication of where this is going... Disclaimer: I own ‘her’ / ‘you’ I guess... she came from my head. Annoyingly, or I would have been spared this!!  Everything else is the movie. 

Premise: Jack Morris. Internationally renowned billionaire. Your Boyfriend. Financier of exploration on Mana One. Where you work. It’s his first visit. None of your friends know. And the reason he’s here is the first running of the Mariana trench experiment. Things can only go so wrong... Right?

Word Count: 2908

Warnings: Sex/Rough sex???/Sexual Pre-Amble (Y’know... The way I write it...)

What’s your all time high? Your good as it gets? Your hands down best ever make-up sex? What’s your guilty pleasure? Your old go to? Well, if you asked me, mine would be you… What’s your worst hangover? Your best night yet? Your 90 proof? Your Marlboro Red? The best damn thing you lucked into? That’s easy, baby, mine would be you… Mine would be you; Sun kiss shining… Back road flying… Singing like crazy fools, Making up our own words… laughing ‘til it hurts… Baby if I had to choose my best day ever, My finest hour, My wildest dream come true… Mine would be you.

---

Marine research had always been your thing. The sea had called you from when you were very small. It had been the first thing you had really responded to as a baby. And there was nothing better than being near water. Every city you visited if it had an Aquarium, you better believe you were going. It was almost like you picked your travel destinations based on if they had any type of aquatic centre. You loved all marine life. But sharks, sharks you loved like nothing else. Evident by the tattoo across your right shoulder. Usually these two factors caused great pain for your boyfriend, Jack Morris. Any time he suggested a vacation and you innocently suggested some places, he would always pull out his phone to check if it had an aquarium or was costal – and sure enough! And every single time you’d be met with questions like ‘do you not see the sea enough!?’ He was usually faced with a serious ‘No.’ You’d met him at a gala, that your research company just so happened to be attending, that he had sponsored. You weren’t sure you liked him in business; a few drinks in, you’d been a little less hostile and had figured that he might actually care about the same things… He wasn’t sponsoring just to have his name plastered nearly everywhere. So when he had proposed financing a research centre underwater, you wondered if he was first crazy. And second if it had had anything to do with you. You hadn’t actually run that past him because you liked to believe it was all his own idea… He’d built it, he’d financed the research and then he’d asked your company, Zhang Oceanic, to move in. Pretending like it wasn’t your influence, despite the fact you were also asked to work there. Like he hadn’t prompted them to ask you… You felt you owed him, he’d never asked to collect a debt. He just wanted to make you happy. And you were. You weren’t sure he’d thought so much about the consequences; and he hadn’t yet really visited. Every time you got a break, he’d fly you to a landlocked area for a couple of days to ground you back on Earth. Because he knew that eventually you’d be pining to go back to the sea. So, like the good man he was, he took you back to the sea. But no further out than the beach. He was his own type of adventurer; sure, he was a billionaire and he’d show it off. But he was never seen in a suit or behind a desk. It was another thing you liked; he’d rather chill with you, go to a tiny bar downtown or take you on a few days hike somewhere than show you off at an event or at some fancy restaurant. Today however, was a little different. Today he was coming to the facility for the first time. You were in nervous anticipation of this. Because although the bunch of friends that worked there KNEW you had a boyfriend, and had seen a ton of pictures of him, you never talked about him as if he was who he was. In fact, you weren’t sure that when you said his name, they even registered him as their benefactor. Obviously Zhang knew, but he never voiced it. You weren’t sure you liked that either, as you wanted to be here by merit. Not just because Jack was running the entire operation.

He spent half the day pretending you didn’t exist. In a professional sort of manner… Which was both confusing and helpful – though as he was introduced to the team they nearly all turned to you, dying to be the first one to voice the question. Zhang essentially swore them to silence; but also kept Jack away from you. Which you were sure added to the fact he was basically ignoring you. He made a point of asking everyone but you questions and for their opinions. Which also kinda made it obvious that that was what he was doing, so also left the team looking at you quizzically. Especially as he would barely accept handshakes as greetings; Jack was all about hugs. Jack was just all about physical contact; he liked being friendly. He was like a social butterfly and he absolutely had to be involved in everything – that’s why he was always taking you on random adventures where he could soak himself in local culture. Which is likely why he was financing this here and not elsewhere in the world. Though, he had a ways to go learning Chinese, you remembered… Still, him acting like all these people were his new best friends and leaving you in your own bubble made the whole thing look obvious. And even the main group of friends you had made were not the only ones with questions about his behaviour… You’d just have to live with it, for the time being.

It wasn’t until lunch time that any of them actually decided to come over and ask. Or, at least stand at one end of the canteen attempting to push each other over. Jaxx got the short end of the straw; apparently. Everyone was tense and it was making emotions run high. Until Jonas arrived to help you all out; three of your best were trapped on the ocean floor. You got it; but you didn’t see why that meant they would have to take their frustrations out on you. Probably because they weren’t about to ask questions of billionaire financier Jack Morris. “So, he’s the actual Jack Morris?” You swallowed your bite; “Yes.” “Why didn’t you say anything.” “I did – you guys never asked if it was the actual Jack Morris so…” You gave a shrug “That’s on you.” Though defensive, in the back of your mind you felt like you probably shouldn’t be speaking to your best friend in the entire station like this… “Any particular reason he’s acting like you aren’t even here?” “Yeah…” You pointed your spoon to the group watching you both “…Ya’ll judging his girlfriend for working on this station whilst he finances the project.” “Would you be here without him?” You laughed; hadn’t she just proved you right? “Yeah. I’d hope so…” You stood “Would that even matter. It’s clearly all you’re gonna talk about now…” You replaced your canteen tray and exited the canteen at the same time Jack was walking in. There was a visible two second stand-off of very little words before you continued your walk past him. You definitely didn’t need this today.

* You headed back to your room and spent, or tried to spend, the next few hours working or something – anything – that might be helpful or at least sound like it might be helpful whilst you waited on finding Jonas again, and the hope that he might actually come back. It wasn’t really working out for you though.  Probably because you were not that hot on anything techy or electrical. On your fourth failed attempt to get anything useful to happen you threw your pen down and groaned, head in your hands; pushing the heels into your eyes until you saw stars for some kind of relief. There was a knock at your door, just what you needed “Who is it?” You were met with radio silence. “Guys. Seriously…” You listened, but still nothing. The shadows breaking the light under your door at least let you know someone was still there. You sighed, definitely not in the mood. “What the F*** do you WAN-” You didn’t get through your sentence as you opened your door. Jack pushed you back with a kiss. Kicking your door shut behind him, he soon had your back pressed up against your wardrobe. And you were kinda furious but also kinda didn’t care. He’d spent all day blatantly ignoring you and thought he could just walk in and do this?! Problem was he just kissed so good… You let him pin your arms back and offered very little resistance to him whilst you got caught up in your first make-out in months of being on this station without him here… Then you remembered he’d been pretending you didn’t exist and got pissed again; pushing him back. “What the HELL do you think you’re doing!?” He didn’t really answer, just gave a look that blatantly said YOU. Which you also clearly didn’t mind by the way he crashed his lips back on yours and lifted you up onto your desk. This scattered papers; which you’d also like to be complaining about, only they were turning out to be fairly useless anyway. You wound your legs around his and your arms around his neck groaning into the hot and heavy kisses he was affording you. Reaching between the two of you he undid your belt buckle and began to slide your jeans down your legs. Not easy given the position he had you in but you weren’t exactly in the mood to help him. Instead much more focused on relieving him of his shirt – and the ball cap he was apparently now insisting on wearing indoors. That found a new home in the far corner of your room; allowing you to run your hands through his hair to mess it up on purpose. He didn’t really like that, growling against your next kiss your shirt soon found a home with it; and after the initial resistance your jeans followed. He pushed you back again so you hit the wall; trailing his rough kisses over your neck and shoulders, you could tell he was determined to leave marks. So, apparently it wasn’t enough for them to just know it was the ‘actual Jack Morris’… now your colleges also had to see it was the ‘actual Jack Morris’?? Still, you were too ready for that sensory overload; grinding your hips impatiently into his you let out a needy sigh. Oh, what months off dry land would do to you. Texting and fantasising had nothing on this. Also, he damn well knew it. He didn’t fly you out to wherever he was on a fully catered private jet for nothing. He hushed you; with just a hint of a smirk. And that only pissed you off even more because you knew that meant he would make you wait. “Now, Now Baby… Calm down…” It was over quickly. Too quickly. Fast and dirty it left you almost drenched in sweat but it was SO worth it. If you had one complaint about your man; it would be Jack had a long recovery time. You were already sitting up on your bed with a vest top and underwear on, staring at the clock and trying to think more about your missing friends that the intense pleasure trip you had just been on… Jack was still breathing heavily as he propped himself up; studying your back as you appeared deep in thought. Specifically, your tattoo. The blue shark – and boy had you corrected him on that one enough times – swimming across your right shoulder blade. He didn’t know a whole lot about marine life; Sharks and Rays especially (your favourites.) other than from what he would learn from time to time on the National Geographic. Then when you happened along Jack Morris started spending a lot of time playing catch up on everything you would always talk about. Now he knew far more about it than he would probably like to. But it had led him here – so, he had no complaints. He sat up; tracing his index finger across the image; “…I can only imagine your reaction to coming face to face with one of these…” You instantly laughed; “They aren’t that big; heck. Most sharks aren’t even dangerous. Maybe for something like a Great White you’d want to be cage diving but everything else…” You gave a shrug “Uh, yeah! Let me at ‘em.” “So much rather you than me…” He kissed your shoulder much gentler this time; although – judging by the colour your skin was turning at points, a little too late. “…All that money and diving with sharks is not on the list?” You shook your head “You’re financing the wrong profession Mr.Morris…” “Well, that’s so you can live your dreams…” He wound his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. “…So long as nothing happens, anyway…” You raised an eyebrow to him, your smile borderline sarcastic; “No shark is gonna eat me.” Then you titled your head “Unless I do something incredibly dumb. Did your beloved National Geographic not teach you that?” Your next smile was teasing “If it didn’t you probably did…” He leant in for another kiss but you pulled away; “OH! So you didn’t listen!?” He was about to protest but you stopped him “Now why doesn’t that surprise me?!” He opened his mouth, then decided against it because right now you were still smiling. “Yeah, okay… I didn’t listen… I’m sorry…” He sighed “Another more money than sense scenario?” Sometimes you believed that; sometimes you thought Jack could be as down to Earth as everyone else… Even more so, at times. “Hmmm… Maybe…” You kissed his cheek at the thoughtful look on his face. Allowing him to turn and kiss you again – before the intercom chimed in your cabin. Alerting you to something urgent you’d have to deal with back in Ops. “Ignore it…” He whispered against your lips – attempting to restart what he’d just finished. “Jack I-” “I’m financing this… ignore it…” He attempted to push you back; but the chime went off again. “No--! No! I’m working, don’t do this!” You were talking to yourself rather than him; wriggling from his grasp you wandered across the room decisively to gather the rest of your clothes. He groaned watching you walk away from him; but it was clear he was trying to vocalise it beyond what it really was. You turned back to look at his face; pouty and hurt that you would just leave him in bed like this “Grow up Jack. I’ll be back soon.” You added a wink and then a wiggle to your step. Which didn’t help him none. You pulled yourself back into your jeans, hair up into a ponytail and grabbed a jacket, because you could tell by just a look in the mirror he’d left marks all over you, and you were about to look enough of a mess as it was. You picked his hat up from the floor; “Can I wear this.” “No!” You gave a shrug and put it on; “Not that you can do anything about it!” You opened your door with a grin “Later Jack!” You shut your door just slow enough to catch “DON’T I EVEN GET AN I LOVE YOU!?” You chuckled to yourself as you walked away; “Nope!” It was the one thing you’d never told him. It was the only thing he’d ever wanted to hear.

* You had the quickest in-and-out shower in the crew bathroom, making sure to tell the bridge you’d be up in 5 minutes. Before redressing for a third time and jogging all the way up as fast as you could. “Sorry. Yeah, shoot. What’s up!?” you sat at your station, laptop running and pen in hand in record time. “We just were going to have a meeting about any ideas anyone had. The next phase of the plan.” “OH. Sure…” You leant back, “I’ve had a few thoughts… Maybe none of them that useful so I apologise in advance…” “Actually…” Jaxx piped up from her own duty station and swivelled to face you “I feel like we owe you an apology…” “…Huh?” You decided it was best not to hold some kind of grudge when you had to work together. You shook your head “Don’t worry about it. I get it…” You folded your arms and focused back on Suyin. “We can’t wait around for them to come back forever.” “Agreed.” You weren’t sure you liked everyone’s reaction to what you had just said. “Well she’s right!” “Thank you. I’m going!” “Wait – what?!” Jaxx turned back to you to explain; “They’re leaking oxygen.” You leapt up to study the screen as Jack waltzed in, intent on finding out what had the audacity to drag you away from him; “OH – that’s just not good!” “So someone should go, right?” You held your hands up, not wanting to take any blame especially as you already appeared to be on shaky ground. “I thought the idea was to try to save people dying on the ocean floor?” Affording yourself to finally look across to him as he kept talking; his hair was wet. Clearly he’d decided he could take time with his own shower… As long as if didn’t look like you might have showered together. Suyin nodded; her decision was long made up though “I’ll take one of the gliders, grab the Origin and tow her up.” Jaxx tried to reel the situation back; “Wait! If one of the Origin’s ballast tanks blows, you’re gonna die too!” She was already half way out the door though; “We have to try.” Jaxx turned to you, with a sigh “Thought you’d be on my side here!” You burst out laughing “THAT’S why you called me up here!?” “Yeeees.” “Alright. Fine…!” You nudged her with a wink “Call it payback!” At least she laughed.

  You crossed back to Jack and the look on his face; “Let me guess. You’re currently calculating how many millions is either broken or now going to get broken.” “Well it’s not particularly good. Is it… It’s around-” “Oh stop!” you nudged him “You’ve blow money on more ridiculous ideas than this!” “They’re YOUR ridiculous ideas.” “HUH-!” You smacked his arm; “You take a look at those photographs and tell me how many of those were MINE!” Jaxx and DJ were starting at you both and then looked to each other and just cracked up, making you both turn; “What?!” “Will you two get a ROOM!!!” Jack smirked; taking your hand in his, with the objective of pulling you right back to yours “Well we had one before you guys pulled her up here.” Both their eyes widened making you turn to him in shock; “JACK!!!”

---

I don’t know if this will be 2 or 3 parts. I’m thinking I’m still good with 2...

And so I present to you my version of Jack Morris: Bundle of energy like an excited puppy who just wants to be LOVED, but is really aggressive sexually... And has ended up being the embodiment of Philip Grey extreme artist. In fact. Now I know exactly WHY I started writing this. 

Gif Credit: @crucifiix

[myfauxpaslife]

3 MONTHS AWAY!

LIFE STUFF  We took a much needed vacation to the beach, Cancun specifically, and it was so, so good! We celebrated 11 years together and now that I’m 3 months away from this major life change, I feel like it was the perfect trip for us to take before all of that. We talked about so many things and shared moments of fun but also just peace and tranquility. I think we’re both embracing the calm before the storm in a way. I know it’s going to be a long and hard road with surgery and recovery and basically a new life, so I'm really grateful to have had that time with her away from our daily life. One afternoon, I went into the ocean and just floated around with the sun on my face and my eyes closed and just thought about how that would hopefully be the last time I had to travel with all the unnecessary worries of logistics in my pants. It’s become such a part of normal life, even though I think about it all the time, so embracing that thought was quite nice. And it was also really good to be back home, in Mexico, to speak my language and be around my people, to hear the music I grew up with and eat the food I love. Overall a great experience, a much needed break and a good reset to get ready for the upcoming surgery. Here’s a peaceful video I took one morning:

ELECTROLYSIS Not a lot to update here. Still going often but I eventually shifted to every 2 weeks. Most of the hair is gone but there are some that keep coming back and it’s at the point where she can get it all after a 2 week growth period. I’ll probably just keep this going until about a month or so before surgery. Maybe up it to once a week in late June or early July depending on the regrowth. She did say the warmth from being in the sun would sprout new hairs, which it did seem to have more growth than the usual 2 week period, but it was still something she could get rid of in a 1-hour session. I'm also starting to have her focus on the urethra site mainly as that would be the more important area to clear vs. the rest. Considering just drawing a box for her to use as a guide because she can sometimes stray from the area we talk about. I assume looking through that giant magnifying glass doesn't allow for much sense of location, ha.

TRAVEL We’ve been talking about the option of flying vs. driving to Austin. It would be a 13 hour drive and the main concern is the ride back but on the plus side, it is more controllable and we would be able to bring Hinson, our dog. I feel like that would be uplifting in the recovery process (but also a potential risk with hygiene because he’s so hairy, ha). I also like the idea of having a car there for transportation to appointments, supply and food runs, etc. On the down side, that would mean narrowing down the rental places to dog friendly, and having something else to worry about (food, water, walks, hygiene, etc.) while we're there. Lots to think about. I’m thankful to have a partner that’s not only awesome in general, but bringing up these types of logistical conversations so that we can make a more informed decision. The more we've talked about it, the more we’re leaning toward driving at this point. We were considering renting a van or something for the drive but a friend of ours has offered to trade cars (he has a larger SUV) so that would work out perfectly.

INSURANCE I’ve submitted all of the required letters for their office to process and I’ve read through my EOB which does not have an exclusion, so I should be good. I don’t know what my out of pocket payments will be yet (in-network, out-of-network, etc.) or if certain other expenses will come up but I'm starting to plan ahead.I will admit,  I’ve been a bit careless regarding finances because I’m trying to “live my life” but I plan to hunker down and keep expenses to a minimum during the next few months in preparation for the surgery. Also, I have been paying for electrolysis out of pocket and submitted a claim to my insurance but the letter I received in return was that there was no “claim” so I think I just need to call them and talk through it with someone. It’s been on my to-do list for a while but i think I’m also mentally avoiding it because it feels like a hassle trying to explain to someone who might not be familiar with the procedure the reason why it’s necessary. I'll eventually do it, I'm sure, just haven't. And, I emailed Dr. Crane's office since we're at the 3-month mark and that's when they start processing the insurance. Well, 2-3 months is what they said and I emailed on day 1, ha. Just getting really nervous about coverage, plus wanting to get the AirBnB locked in, make travel and work arrangements, start buying supplies, etc., etc., etc. There's so much to do! Patiently playing the waiting game, but will also email their office about once a week until i hear back. Sorry in advance to them, ha!

MIND & BODY I had some weight goals set out at the beginning of the year and hot the first one pretty close, but ever since then it's been tough to keep losing. I've kept the initial weight I lost off, just not making much progress beyond that. I know exactly why, so I plan on really working hard at it for the next 3 months. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is more important than anything else and that I can go back to "having fun" after I recover. I've also started to quit smoking. I have a month until it's absolutely necessary (as instructed by the Doc) but am trying to not do it at all if possible. I'm trying to apply the same theory here, that this surgery and the end goal is more important that a quick fix. I feel like I'm mentally ready for it, but my body definitely craves things and I've had a hard time saying no. Just gotta keep at it and keep reminding myself how much I want this.

[bb-loves-boys]

Soon You’ll Come Home Chapter 16

Summary: Blaine and Kurt are married with two kids and at the point of their lives they would never imagine having another child. But then Blaine meets a young girl in the most unlikely way and after he learns about the abuse she suffered he can’t help but want to give her the family that loves and care’s for her like she needs.

Warning: mentioned child abuse, and Bullying, and self harm (nothing graphic)

Notes: I do not claim to know about the actual laws that deal with situations like this. It is merely used as fiction and to create a situation for the story. It’s not fact. It’s fiction.

Fanfiction.net

AO3

Previous Chapters

Blaine is nervous. He knows he shouldn't be; he and Kurt have been married forever now. They have seen each other at their worst and best on multiple occasions, and there is nothing new to this situation they are in as a couple. Despite this, Blaine is nervous. It's been almost a week since Blaine broke down and they stopped fighting. They have set up a schedule with their therapists as well as a plan to begin couples therapy. They're both working to make this better, to make them better. The date was Kurt's idea, as a way to mix up their routine. He wanted to meet there to make it feel more like a date. Blaine enters the small bistro and instantly spots Kurt, his heart skipping a beat. Kurt is wearing a new outfit that Blaine has never seen before. It's somewhere in-between the casual attire he had gotten used to wearing at home and the dressed-up attire he wears to work. Blane has always known Kurt was beautiful, Blaine witnesses his beauty every day, but this new outfit makes Blaine stop for a second. He feels silly wearing something Kurt has seen on him a million times and has washed, folded, and even ironed for him. He watches Kurt's smile grow as Blaine approaches. 

"I didn't realize I was late," Blaine apologizes first. "You're not," Kurt explains, "I got here ridiculously early, so there would be no confusion about my intentions." "Kurt," Blaine whispers wanting to reach out and hug him. "It was your dad, I've forgiven you for it." "I know," Kurt waves off, making Blaine frown. He hates when Kurt dismisses his feelings as silly. "How about we get a table?" Blaine asks with a smile not waiting for an answer before he requests a table for two. 

They are seated quickly at a small table by the window, and it doesn't take too long for them to order, especially since talking seems awkward and difficult for them to do right now. "Is Oliver home alone?" Kurt asks after the waiter takes their menus. "No, I asked Sam to stay with him. I know he's old enough to stay alone, but he hasn't been himself lately, and I don't want him to be alone," Blaine answers, a sinking feeling forming in his heart at the thought of what their son may be experiencing. "We'll figure it out," Kurt says trying to soothe his nerves. Blaine can only smile in response. "Maybe we all need a break, go away somewhere on vacation for a little while?" Kurt suggests when Blaine doesn't answer. "You know we can't," Blaine frowns, Riley might not be in their custody, but they're still trying to win her back, at least Blaine still wants her back. "We have to be ready- " "We need to do what's best for our family," Kurt snaps, cutting Blaine off. And it's all it takes for them to start fighting again. "She is our family, Kurt" Blaine challenges because no matter how short of time she had with them Blaine will always feel like she is family. "Oliver needs us right now, we can't keep putting all our focus onto Riley, especially when she is no longer with us at the moment," Kurt hisses, suddenly aware they're in public and doesn't want everyone to hear them. "I'm not saying to abandon Oliver, I'm just saying we need to stay here and be ready," Blaine defends. "I thought you were with me on this." "Can we not do this now? We're supposed to be on a date." Kurt says after taking a sip of his drink, avoiding eye contact. "Yeah, we'll just talk about something else," Blaine suggests knowing they shouldn't ignore the problem in front of them. They both sit in silence waiting for the other one to come up with a new topic. It worries Blaine that they can't even think of something to talk about as a married couple. They know everything about each other and have seen every possible side of each other. Blaine used to think that was a good thing, but now he's worried. "I'm sorry," Kurt whispers, looking at his hands in his lap. "I didn't mean to come here and fight with you; this is a date the first date we had in a very long time, and we should make the most of it." He reached across the table, offering his hand to Blaine. Without any hesitation, Blaine took it and held it softly. "Remember back in high school, right after we became boyfriends?" Blaine asked. "Of course, I do," Kurt said his smile reaching his eyes, something it hasn't done in a while. "It was like a month later, and we were doing homework in your bedroom, and I got upset because I never took you on a proper date. Do you remember what you said to me?" Blaine asked rubbing his thumb over Kurt's knuckles. "What does that have to do with your calculus?" Kurt answer confused, scrunching his face slightly. "No, after that," Blaine laughed shaking his head, "You told me you considered that valentine's day when I paid for your coffee our first date and that I just wasn't aware I was dating you." "I said that? Even after you sang to another guy and dated Rachel?" Kurt teased. "Hey, I'm trying to be sentimental, and we agreed never to bring up me dating Rachel again," Blaine whined. "What I'm trying to say is that even though we haven't had an official date, I have considered the nights that we sit and talk when the kids are asleep or just enjoy each other's company kind of like dates. I enjoy every moment I have with you, Kurt." "Except when I get in this headspace and fight with you," Kurt answered, finally pulling away from his hand and looking down. "Enjoy, might not be that right word for what I feel, but I'm glad it's me getting to fight with you and not some other guy," Blaine says after some thought, trying to make Kurt feel better. He gets a small sympathetic smile out of it. "There never was another guy," Kurt responds looking surprised at the comment. Blaine looks down shyly and nervous for a moment. "You cannot honestly tell me you thought there was another guy?" Kurt asks carefully, more surprised than suspicious. Blaine decides the best answer is a simple shrug because maybe he felt like the guys Kurt dated weren't going to last because he knew Kurt. But he was more worried Kurt wouldn't find his way back to Blaine and move on from him. Thankfully their meal arrives after that, and the food is enough to distract Kurt from the conversation. They eat in peace, complimenting their meals. Blaine shares a little bit of his steak despite Kurt refusing to share fish. When asked if they want dessert Kurt declines, and Blaine knows he's starting to worry about his diet, with heart conditions running in his family, but he still orders Kurt a slice of their cheesecake to go. Blaine takes the bill, telling Kurt he has it, and even though they share finances, Kurt still blushes and looks down. When they arrive home, the lights are still on inside the house. Blaine waits for Kurt to open the door but he stops and turns to Blaine. "Something wrong?" He asks. "I love you," Kurt says suddenly. "I love you too, Kurt" Blaine answers leaning in to give Kurt a quick kiss. "No, wait" Kurt stops him. "I need you to know that I love you even when we fight and disagree." "I know you do. We're married." Blaine answers curiously. "I wanted to say it before we walked inside because that's when our date ends. And that's when I start to say it more out of habit and less out of meaning." Kurt explains, nervously biting his lip. This time when Blaine isn't stopped when leans in to kiss Kurt. "You always mean it, Kurt, even when you don't say it." Kurt gives one more quick kiss before opening the door. The mood immediately changes when they make their way into the rest of the house and find Sam and Oliver sitting in the living room waiting for them. "We need to talk," Sam says slowly to them after neither of them says something. "What is it?" Kurt says rushing over to Oliver worried something happened to him. Blaine takes the spot across from him waiting patiently for one of them to talk. He nervously watches as Oliver tries to start speaking. He begins to shake and cry when the words won't come out. "It's okay Ollie; they'll understand," Sam says. "Baby, we'll love you no matter what, you just need to tell us so we can help," Blaine tries moving to kneel in front of Oliver. "How about we try to guess, and you help us when we get close?" Kurt suggests when Oliver still doesn't say anything. He begins rubbing his back gently. Oliver nods in agreement, swallowing slowly. "Is it about school?" Blaine starts, trying to connect all the puzzle pieces Oliver has left for them with his mood changes. "Kinda" he answers in a shaky voice. "Does it have to do with that party?" Blaine tries again. This time Oliver nods, chocking on his tears. Kurt shushes him and starts doing everything he can to calm him down, stroking his hair and holding him close. "What happened?" Kurt asks in a whisper. This time Oliver slowly reveals his phone to them, and Blaine feels sick when he sees what they have done. Pictures and videos of the torment. Screenshots and recordings and links to the text messages, Facebook comments, and phone calls. "Matt's brother threw the party. We were only allowed to be there because Matt threatened to tell his parents. I told him I didn't want to be there, but he wanted to stay because there was this girl he liked." He took a shaky breath trying to calm his nerves before continuing. "I-I think she may be a junior." Blaine waited for his to continue but Kurt wasn't going to wait anymore. "It's okay, baby; keep going." "Everyone was drunk, and I was scared. She kept talking to me, but I didn't want to be there. She tried to give me something so I could relax and have fun, but I said no." Oliver's words were short and breathy. He stopped again when his tears got the better of him. Blaine's heart clenched tight at the sight of the pain Oliver was in just telling them what happened. "We can stop here if it's too much," Blaine gently offers as Kurt begins to shush his cries again. "We're here for you, just try to finish telling us what happened," Kurt says instead. "Kurt," Blaine says surprised. "No, we need to know so we can fix this!" Kurt insists. "It's fuzzy after that; I remember waking up in bed with her and Matt yelling at me and trying to fight me." Oliver forces the words out. "How did you get home? Remember you came home?" Kurt asks. "I don't know; I can't remember" Oliver cries out and Blaine can feel him shutting down. "I remember going to the hospital with you, but that's it." "Ollie, can you try to tell them what happened after, when you went back to school?" Sam tries gently. Blaine just wants all the pain to disappear. He hates watching Oliver feel any pain. He can't believe Oliver kept this quiet for so long. "Matt thinks I was flirting with her after he told me he liked her. It started small with him ignoring me and giving me glares anytime we saw each other, but it escalated from there. Then somehow they started dating, and it got so much worse." Oliver explains, tired now. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." "No, no" Blaine reaches out to comfort him trying to tell him it was all okay. "Ollie, we need all the documentation you have so I can go to the school with it," Kurt says, and Blaine can see he's trying to distance himself from the pain. Blaine knows it's bringing back painful memories. "I don't want to go back to that school, please don't make me go back," Ollie begs them. "You won't go back there, don't worry." Blaine soothes and kisses the top of his head. "We'll get you a new phone number and help you clean up your social media accounts," Kurt offers. Sam nodding in agreement. "Don't worry baby boy; we'll fix this. It's going to be okay," Kurt soothes again. They stay there in the silence for a while. Comforting and calming down Oliver. The reality of what has happened slowly setting in. When it's time for bed, Kurt ends up laying down with Oliver to help him try to fall asleep, leaving Sam and Blaine in the living room. "He didn't come out of his room, so I went to check on him, and I found him trying to hurt himself," Sam explains, sounding exhausted himself. "He's been hurting himself?" Blaine asked on the verge of a breakdown himself. "No, this would have been the first time, he was having trouble going through with it." Sam answers. Blaine can only nod in response, his thoughts and emotions working in overdrive. "He tried to make me leave, but I refused. I ended up telling him about what Kurt was going through in high school. I don't know everything, but I just explained that you both would understand and be able to help. I told him I would help. That we all love him and we are there for him. Eventually, I talked enough that he told me everything. I knew he had to tell you two. He was so scared to tell you, but I told him you needed to know." Sam continues to explain taking a deep breath after. "I knew something was wrong, but I just thought it was normal teenage hormones. I would never have thought." Blaine shakes his head unable to continue. "He didn't tell you, he hid everything. You can't blame yourself." Sam tries to comfort him. "I don't understand why he didn't come to us in the first place," Blaine says, confused and hurt. "Kurt didn't tell his dad anything. He didn't tell any of us," Sam answers. When Blaine doesn't respond Sam decides to continue, "There is no point in focusing on the why he didn't tell you. The point is he told you now, and you can fix it and help him." Something clicks in Blaine's thoughts, "You're right. Kurt was right." "Right about what?" Sam asks confused. "We should move out of the city," Blaine answers not hesitating to begin his research in finding the best private schools in the area and homes for sale near them.  

Chapter 17