#nerdy christian jokes

[moonmoonthecrabking]

grace chasity reads both testaments

[melonpond]

in fairness I probably should have realized that I was a lesbian sooner because anytime a guy gets flirty or gets flustered around me I'm just like "please dont. Just, don't." meanwhile in one of my classes the professor introduced a totally different format for the next quiz where students can collaborate with each other, and the hot girl that sits next to me was like "man analyzing this poetry is so much more difficult than the previous quizzes" and I was like "I'm pretty good at analysis, we can work on the quiz together" and she looked so relieved and also I cannot emphasize how pretty she is and was 80% of my motivation for helping her just because I'm incredibly gay? possibly.

[therealcocoshady]

Kinktober - Day 21 - Aftercare

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

A/N : Here is the aftercare post for Kinktober (yeah, we're still doing that). I think it's the longest I have written so far... But I hope you enjoy it ✨

CW : Dom!Marshall x Sub!reader - Aftercare - A little angst - Fluff

After that weekend Marshall spent taking care of you, you could feel a slight change in the dynamic. He was still your dom, still your friend, but there was more intimacy than ever. He often instructed you to snuggle with him, sit on his lap and, though your quarters were technically still in the guest room, you slept in his bed practically every night you were at his place. It started with him suggesting some cockwarming at bedtime, since you’d both taken a liking to it, but it was now standard for him to just suggest cuddling, and you happily indulged him.  It didn’t mean he went any softer on you as a dom, though. If anything, he kept on challenging you, the more comfortable you got as a sub. But you sure enjoyed the cuddling, as well as the more frequent kissing during aftercare. The two of you seemed to have found a steady rhythm and things were great, even though the lines were starting to blur a little. At the beginning, your submission and his dominance were only exerted on weekends and, though you saw each other on other occasions, the rest of the time was strictly platonic. But as time went on, it started bleeding in your friendship. Whenever you were alone with him, you leaned into your submissive side and let him take the lead. It had become second nature, by now, and though none of you exactly addressed it, both of you seemed to enjoy it. 

The only clear boundary that remained was that none of your mutual friends and acquaintances knew what was going on between the two of you. As far as they were concerned, you just happened to be at Marshall’s place frequently, and they assumed it had to do with what they jokingly called « nerdy shit ». One of the perks of being longtime friends meant that people around you didn’t bat an eye. Throughout the year, there had been a couple of jokes about the two of you being some kind of match but both of you had always brushed it off. For years, you had joked about him being too old and boring for you and, in turn, he referred to you as « the nightmare for any boyfriend », so people had stopped questioning it. You liked the privacy of it all, the fact that Marshall being your dom was your secret, some sort of safe place no one knew about. You were in sync and you didn’t question it. Until you did. 

The session had begun like any other before that. You were spending the weekend at his place, and he had summoned you to the bedroom. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, really. Just him, enjoying you, exploring your body and your limits, while you let him guide you, enjoying the mix of pleasure, struggle and pain. Surprisingly enough, even though he was a dom, he wasn’t kinky in a way you would have deemed as hardcore or elaborate. Before starting this whole dynamic, you would have expected any dom to be some sort of version of Christian Grey, with a huge collection of kinky objects and torture devices and a pleasure room that bordered on creepy. Nothing could be farther from the dom you knew. There weren’t too many toys, definitely no torture device and most scenes took place in cozy bedrooms that belonged on Pinterest rather that in any X-rated movie. And even though Marshall definitely liked to challenge you, it didn’t involve a lot of objects and equipment. Somehow, you had figured that, if you were to freak out during a session, it would be during a scene that was elaborate and intimidating, not one with simple restraints and light impact play. Obviously, you were wrong. 

The night had been quite intense, but very, very pleasurable. Marshall had guided you through multiple orgasms and, eventually, you found yourself in subspace. It wasn’t the first time and you enjoyed the dreamlike, floating feeling, losing yourself in the sensations your dom provided, rooted in your connection, in the trust you had in him. No anxieties, no overthinking, just you, surrendering yourself to him. But then, out of nowhere, something shifted. It was subtle, almost like a fleeting shadow in your mind, but it was enough. You couldn’t exactly tell why, though. But suddenly, your peace shattered, replaced by an intense rush of confusion, vulnerability and fear. Panic surfaced, and you found yourself using your safe word. Or rather, screaming it, before you could even fully process what was wrong. 

As soon as you called « red », Marshall froze and stopped everything. In seconds, he was freeing you from your restraints, kneeling beside you. He pushed your hair out of your face. You were shuddering, feeling both cold and hot at the same time and, overall, a sweaty mess. « You’re safe. I’ve got you », he said softly, in a low voice, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. As your body began to come down of the intensity, you felt a crushing weight of emotions you didn’t understand. He tried cupping your face, as he had done thousands of times before, but you immediately pulled away. You wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling more vulnerable than ever. « I-I don’t… », you trailed off, your words stuck in your throat as your thoughts swirled, completely detached from the clarity you had felt just minutes earlier. Your dom stayed quiet, giving you some time, though you could feel his concerned, even if you didn’t look at him. « It’s ok if you’re not ready to talk. Take your time. That’s alright. We’ll go slow», he said gently. You nodded and tried to steady your breathing, but you could feel yourself dipping further into a haze of doubt and discomfort— subdrop. You had read about it but had never imagined it would feel this intense. In the past, you’d felt a need for some comforting aftercare following sessions with Marshall, but this was different.  You could still feel the weight of his touch, the sound of his voice, and it left you confused, even fearful in a way that didn’t make sense to you. Marshall slowly got up and grabbed the fuzzy blanket that was at the foot of the bed, gently wrapping it around your shoulders, making sure not to touch you directly. Then, he grabbed a bottle of water from his nightstand and handed it to you. « This is for you. You don’t have to talk just yet. Just breathe, ok ? » he instructed. 

The warmth of the blanket seemed to help, and you managed a small sip of water, focusing on grounding yourself. Marshall didn’t move, staying within sight but giving you the physical space you visibly needed. Everything in his calm demeanor suggested he’d been there before, and that it was not exactly unknown territory for him. His gaze was gentle, watching you carefully but without pressure. Gradually, the silence grew less tense, and your heartbeat slowed. You looked up at him, catching his eye for the first time since you had used your safe word. He looked concerned but relaxed, his expression one of patience and kindness. You could see that he was stressing out a bit, too, as if he was afraid he’d done something wrong. « Marshall, I… », you struggled, your voice just above a whisper, not even realizing you hadn’t used his title as you should have. As if your brain were unable to process it in that instant. « I… I don’t know what happened. I was… scared. But I’m not sure why », you tentatively explained. He nodded thoughtfully, reaching forward and resting his hand beside you, close without touching. « That’s ok. Sometimes, things come up and you don’t know why. It happens. But you don’t need to understand it all right now, alright ? And I’m here to help you through it », he said in a reassuring tone. « I’m sorry », you mumbled, almost feeling ashamed. He shook his head and held your gaze. « No need to apologize, doll. You didn’t do anything wrong and, in case you need to hear it : I’m not mad. I don’t want you to feel bad for using your safe word. Ever. You did well », he assured you. You nodded and let out a small sigh of relief. « Well… Thank you for stopping » you said. He let out a low chuckle and gave you a smile. « That’s what safe words are for. You’re safe with me, Y/N. Always », he said. 

The two of you sat in silence, your breathing slowly returning to normal. He was sitting quietly beside you, giving you some time. Gradually, your shoulders began to relax, though your hands were still curled in tight fists, gripping the blanket as though it anchored you. After a while, he softly cleared his throat. « Is it ok if I touch you? Just to hold you for a bit? » he asked in a low and gentle voice. You looked at him, your eyes searching his face for reassurance. His question, simple and respectful, made you feel safer. You nodded slowly. « Yeah. Ok. » you whispered.  Moving carefully, Marshall slipped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close but without any hint of pressure. You leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his embrace begin to ease the ache in your chest. His arm settled lightly around you, his other hand reaching to softly hold yours, his thumb tracing gentle circles over your knuckles. « I’ve got you. You are safe » he murmured. « Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise ». 

You closed your eyes, letting his words sink in. His voice held a warmth you didn’t known you needed until you heard it—a quiet reassurance that made you feel grounded. The simple comfort of his steady, gentle touch was like an anchor pulling you back from the drift of emotions you couldn’t quite control. « Thank you », you whispered, your fingers finding his. You let your head rest on his shoulder while his fingers traced soothing patterns against your skin. Both of you remained silent for a while, his quiet presence easing the rawness you were feeling. His breaths were steady and rhythmic, encouraging you to slow down and match his pace. After a while, he finally spoke again. « Do you think you can talk? I need to make sure you’re alright », he said. You nodded and he proceeded with some questions. « Are you feeling any physical pain right now? » he asked carefully. You shook your head before looking at your wrists. « Not really. I mean, the wrists but it’s not… really painful. Just stings. Like usual, I guess. Other than that, I’m just a little sore » you said thoughtfully. He nodded and gently inspected your wrists. The restraints had left some marks, mostly caused by your moving and tugging, but there was nothing really concerning. «And now that you’re a little more clear-headed, is there anything you remember that might have triggered you? Did I hurt or scare you? » he finally asked. You shook your head again. In truth, you couldn’t quite place your finger on whatever it was that went wrong. « No, you were great. You always are. It’s just… It felt so good. I thought I’d never come down. I didn’t want to. But suddenly I did and it was all too much, you know? ». He nodded and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. « Right, » he hummed. « I mean, subdrop happens for many reasons. But sometimes it’s just a chemical imbalance. You have these hormone levels that peak and when they drop, well… You drop too. And you can also have a peak of stress hormones. But it’s nothing to be scared of, doll. And I’m here. » 

You nodded, grateful for his presence and the serenity he brought. He engulfed you in another embrace, kissing your temple. The two of you lay back down for a minute as he held you, murmuring sweet words of praise and reassurance. When he could tell you were feeling better, more level-headed, he grabbed your hand and led you to the en-suite bathroom. It was a ritual by now : the two of you usually showered together, before he tended to any soreness or marks you could end up with. He held you close as you let the warm water pour over your bodies, washed your body and massaged your hair. When you were done, he wrapped you in a towel and handed you a glass of water and some aspirin that you drank while he applied some cream to take care of your sore muscles. He also gently examined the couple of bruised he had caused, kneeling in front of you to inspect them. « They’re not as bad as last time. We’re making progress » he softly hummed, causing you to chuckle as you remembered both of your faces when you had discovered the bruising he was referring to, some of which were still faintly visible. If there was one thing you’d learned about your body since you became his sub, it was that you bruised like a peach. He instinctively kissed the bruise on your thigh, causing you to squirm. « Sorry. Habits. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. » he apologized. « No, it’s your beard… Tickles. That’s all. The kiss was ok. Helps the healing, right? » you replied with a slight smile. He nodded and placed another playful kiss there, before proceeding to kiss all of your bruises, making you giggle in the process. He got up and cupped your face before kissing your lips. « Oops. Thought you had a bruise there. Guess it was a shadow » he said innocently. Of course, his charm offensive had you giggling like a schoolgirl, which you knew was the desired outcome. « I’ll leave you to do the whole hair thing and get dressed while I tidy up » he said before placing a last kiss on your temple. 

You quickly blowdried your hair and went to put on your pajamas. Before getting dressed, you looked at your naked form in the mirror. You were used to seeing your reflection with hickies, bruises and various marks over your body. The view wasn’t surprising in the least. It had almost become usual in the past months so, most of the time, you weren’t phased by it. You even found it pleasing, in a way. Each mark was a physical reminder of the pleasure he gave you, of how good he made you feel, rewarding your submission with intense orgasms. 

This time, though, as you took notice of them, it stirred something deep within you. You traced each one with your finger, wondering what this roadmap of your intense bedroom exertions told of you. You wondered how anyone would perceive them if you suddenly died and your body was to be found the next day. They’d probably peg you for some victim of domestic abuse. Except you weren’t. You had consented to everything that had left these marks. You had given Marshall your explicit, enthusiastic consent to hurt you, and you had enjoyed it. Suddenly, you felt like some sort of hypocrite. There you were, the annoying woman who never shied away from getting on her high horse to defend the cause of women, allowing a man to hurt you. He was your friend, had been for years. And yet, he was the one leaving all these marks, because you allowed him to see your vulnerability. You even served it to him on a silver plater, kneeling for him, surrendering your body and mind. And you liked it. As unsettling as the thought was, you craved it, the feeling of submission. 

However, this had you wondering about the shift in your relationship. The friendship had been so steady for years and now, there were many changes going on all at once. You were so much more than friends and, usually, you didn’t care that the lines were blurred. You even enjoyed it. But when you really looked at it, the whole thing felt like a complex Venn diagram with layers of friendship, sex, emotional intimacy and power dynamic overlapping each other. Even if you tried, you wouldn’t be able to sort it out. But who were you allowing to leave these marks all over you ? Your friend ? Your dom ? The man you slept with ? Or the one who charmed your heart and spirit ? A while ago, you would have been able to give a clear answer. To say that it was your dom who was doing it to you. But now, it was much more complex. Because the power dynamic was bleeding into the friendship, which bled back into the power dynamic, and both were made confusing by the sudden surge of emotional intimacy. And in the middle of it, you had sex, which belonged in all three categories. Marshall was doing it all : bringing physical benefits into your friendship, fucking you senseless as your dom, and making sweet love to you. And now, everything was blurry and unclear. He was the alpha and omega in all of that, carving a space for himself in all the spheres of your life, as dom, lover and friend, but where did that leave you ? What were you to him ? The uncertainty gnawed at you, and even deeper than that, a new fear settled in your chest. Marshall had become such an integral part of your life, so much so that you felt yourself holding your breath when you thought about the possibility of losing him. This space he occupied in your world was huge, almost overwhelming. What happens if it stops? If he decides he doesn’t want this anymore? Or if I can’t handle it?

You didn’t realize you were trembling until there was a gentle knock on the bathroom door. You turned and saw Marshall standing there, visibly wondering what was taking you so long. « Talk to me » he said in a reassuring voice, which felt like an invitation rather than an order. You took a deep breath, trying your best to summon the right words. « It’s all twisted », you said. He looked at you intently, waiting for you to elaborate, but you didn’t quite know how to put it. « What’s twisted, Y/N? » he asked carefully. You nervously gestured at the bruises that covered your naked body. « These. This. The fact that I’m letting a man hurt me. That I want it. I-… There has to be something wrong with me. I must be twisted. I must be messed up. » you blurted out. 

Marshall shook his head gently, moving closer but keeping his hands at his sides, as if he was letting you control the space between you. « There’s nothing wrong with you, » he said softly. « Desire isn’t something that fits into neat, ‘normal’ boxes. It’s complex, and it’s different for everyone. It doesn’t make you twisted—it makes you human. » he continued. Though his voice felt like a balm, the other questions remained, as did the need for answers. « But it’s not just that. Because you’re the one I desire, but who are you? We were friends for so long and now we’re… this. But I don’t know what that is. What we are to each other...». He hummed, encouraging you to elaborate. « I know you’re over boxes and neat categories but… Are you my friend ? My dom ? Or something more intimate than those ? » you finally asked. He listened quietly and, when your eyes met his, you were met with a steady and reassuring gaze. « Yeah », he simply said. « So which is it? » you nervously asked, though his calm and reassurance did not waiver. « All of them. What we have… It doesn’t need a label. And I know it’s a bit complex but… It can be whatever we want or need it to be » he said softly. His words were grounding but you still felt the fear beneath it all. « But what if it stops? » you anxiously asked. « Because I’d lose so much. I’d lose my friend, my dom and… more. You’re such a huge part of my life, and I’m scared of what happens if we don’t work, if it becomes too much». 

Marshall reached out, carefully grabbing your hand, holding it and stroking it. « I don’t ever want you to feel like this is all or nothing. I’m here because I care about you—deeply. I don’t want to give up our friendship, no matter what happens. If you ever want to go back to that, just as friends, I’ll be here. Or if you want to keep this dynamic, but take sex out of the equation—that’s fine, too. This doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s relationship. We can take our time. We can make it ours. », he assured you. You looked at him, letting his words slowly sink into you. « But what do you want? » you asked. He let out a soft sigh but kept on smiling. « I just told you what I want. I’ll break it down for you : whatever happens, I want us to be friends. That’s what matters most. The power dynamic that’s… that’s what works for me. That’s how I feel comfortable when it comes to intimacy. The rules, the boundaries… They make me feel safe. You know more than anyone that I suck at letting people in. So it’s what works best for me when it comes to being close with someone. Knowing I’m in control helps me navigate my trust issues. We’ve been friends for ages. We were already close. But now we’re closer. Both physically and emotionally, and I like that. But if you’re not comfortable with anything, we adjust. If you only want or need me as a friend, that’s cool. If you need me as your dom, that’s fine too. In whatever way you want. If you want the dynamic to be strictly platonic, no sex, touching kept to a minimum, no kissing, it’s possible too. It’s your choice. »

You sighed and nodded, sort of understanding where he was coming from. However, you couldn’t help but ask one last question. « And if I don’t want things to be platonic but don’t want the dynamic? ». He stared at you intently, rubbing the back of his neck. « That’s not how I work. As much as we’re friends, as comfortable as I am with you, I need structure. But if it’s that important… I guess we could adjust it. Do you want the power exchange to stop? » he asked carefully, and you could sense a hint of nervosity. You shook your head. « I don’t. I like our dynamic. And the rest, too. It’s just… I always thought it was a way to clear the noise in my head. But now, it’s becoming a part of it. Like… I know you said you care about me, and that we can adjust, but… It’s still confusing. Because even if I like it, right now, I don’t know how to address the person in front of me. Sir? Marshall? ». He chuckled and brought you closer to him, affectionately cupping your face. His face had softened and you could see a gentle smile at the corner of his mouth. « Whatever you like, doll. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Honorifics, titles… yeah, they can have a purpose, and they can set a tone, but they don’t change the substance of what we are » he explained. 

You looked at him, uncertainty still clouding your eyes. « I just… I don’t want to mess it up, » you murmured. « I want to honor this new part of us, but at the same time, I feel like I’m trying to balance everything we’ve always been, and it’s… confusing ». He nodded in understanding, letting his thumb graze your cheek. His smile grew a little and he finally let out a chuckle. « Look, you can call me Sir when that feels right. You can call me Marshall when we’re just us, talking like this. And for all I care, you can even call me ‘Dumbass’ or ‘Old Man’ like you used to. » His eyes twinkled with a hint of mischief, and a grin broke across his face. « You’ve called me worse over the years, haven’t you? ». A reluctant smile tugged at your lips, a bit of the weight lifting from your shoulders. You thought of the years you’d spent as friends, all the teasing, the playful jabs. You’d called him every name in the book, from “Dumbass” when he’d done something stupid, to « asshole » when he was pissing you off, to “Old Man” whenever he pretended he couldn’t keep up with you. « Yeah, I have », you admitted with a faint chuckle. « See? » he replied, his tone gentle and light. « You’re not any sub, Y/N. You’re much more than that. And regardless of how you choose to call me, it won’t change the substance of what we mean to each other ». 

You gave him a smile and couldn’t help but ask one last question, a playful smile tugging at your lips. « So… Does this mean I can call you ‘Dumbass’ and not get punished? » you asked in an innocent voice. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. « Fuck around and find out, princess » he replied with a suggestive smirk. You raised an eyebrow, ready to make a witty reply but he rolled his eyes again pretended to sigh. « You’re impossible. We’re not even done with aftercare and you’re looking for trouble already » he said with a smile. You let out an innocent giggle. « Aren’t we done, though? » you asked with a hint of seriousness. He shook his head and grabbed your hand before pulling you to him. « You know, aftercare is not just for subs. Doms need it too. There’s no need to be self-centered, here » he said with a soft grin. You hummed and looked in his eyes. « What do you need, then, Sir? » you asked in a tone that was both suggestive and reverent. He gave you a grin and led you to the bedroom. « Cuddles » he calmly hummed, as if the answer was evident. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, resisting the urge to tell him that all he needed to do was ask, instead of using the aftercare excuse. You settled in bed and he gestured for you to come into his arms. « Indulge me, will you? » he asked and you couldn’t help but scoff. « Of course. For aftercare’s sake » you said in an innocent, yet sarcastic tone. 

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close, and you let yourself melt into his warm embrace. It felt like you fitted there perfectly, as if you were meant to occupy that space into his arms and against his chest. « There we go » he murmured, almost whispering, as he stroked your back in soothing motions. « See? This doesn’t need labels. Just us. That’s what matters most to me ». You smiled against him and hummed, closing your eyes. « That’s nice » you admitted. You let yourself breathe fully, feeling a sense of peace settling in your chest, chasing away the earlier doubts you’d felt. The warmth and steadiness of Marshall’s arms around you made you feel safe in a way words couldn’t fully capture. You let the anxiety you’d felt earlier leave your mind and went back to enjoying the profound feeling of intimacy. Ever since your friendship had become more, you had grown closer and, as weeks had gone by, the cuddling had become more intimate. You could feel it in the way he held you and seemed to relax completely, the way he allowed himself to doze off, keeping you close, face buried in your neck. You let out a contented sigh, relishing in the intense feeling of safety and devotion. 

« Thank you, Sir » you whispered in a barely audible voice. You could feel him smile against you, softly humming. « For what? » he asked. « For giving me so much » you tentatively explained, not sure you could actually put your gratitude into words. He hummed again and placed a tender kiss on your neck. « I know it’s a bit confusing for you. But it’s precisely because you’re my friend and my sub that I’m able to relax and put my walls down. I feel safe with you » he explained. « I’m grateful for you ». You turned and looked at him, staring in this blue eyes, seeing nothing but devotion there. In the years you’d known him, you’d learned about his trust issues, but hearing him tell you you made him feel safe when he was the person who made you feel the most secure was emotional. You knew intimacy didn’t come easy for him, even though it sometimes escaped your mind. As if he could read into your mind, he chortled and pulled you closer. « I’m grateful you signed that NDA, too. So you can’t go around and tell everyone I’m soft or whatever. That’d ruin my reputation and everyone would ask for cuddles » he joked. You chuckled and looked at him with a mischievous grin. Even without any NDA, you wouldn’t dream of telling anyone. You liked that he was like this with you, and you didn’t really want to share. « Your secret’s safe with me… Dumbass ». 

[bonesandchalamet]

a Monaco Grand Prix - t.holland

masterlist

pairing: Tom holland x mercedes intern!fem!reader

warnings: some flirting + possible minor errors

a/n: inspired by the Monaco gp today! combining my love for Tom and formula 1 into this! if you like formula 1, you can find my sports masterlist on @thatsdemko 🥰

“you can’t just be nice and give him a tour?” your boss, Toto Wolff, gives you a glare that’s almost killer. one that you know will bite you in the ass, if you don’t just take the opportunity to show the famous celebrity around the paddock.

you know it’s part of your job. if you want your placement to be permanent, you’ll have to do whatever the boss says, and that being showing a famous prick around the Monaco paddock.

you nod, “I’ll do it.” you swallow the nervous jitters, as you turn out of the Mercedes hospitality to the one and only Tom holland making his way through media, other formula 1 interns, and press.

he’s headed to you with his security guards. a bright pearly white smile on his face as climbs the steps, hand extended, “ah you must be y/n! I was told you’d show me around.” his British accent brings warmth to your ears as it visibly spreads to your cheeks taking his hand in yours.

you’ve completely forgot why you didn’t want to do this in the first place. after having met the Tom holland, you’d do anything your boss asks you to do.

“right this way, Mr. Holland, let me show you our new and improved cars for this weekends race.”

—

each spot you took him to came with a variety questions and expression, god he was cute, was all you could think about. he was attentive and listened to your tidbits and nerdy jokes, he could tell you really loved your job and took formula 1 as serious as it was.

“and this is the Red Bull garage, legally I’m not allowed in there or else I’ll be reported for spying. but go on in, I’m sure Christian Horner would love to see you.” you gesture for the actor to step inside the garage and join the couple of other famous people you could see from where you stood.

as badly as he wanted to step in and have the cameras pointed on him, he didn’t mind keeping a lower profile and decline the offer to do so, “if you can’t go in then I definitely shouldn’t.” he laughs pulling out his phone to show you his Lewis Hamilton lockscreen, “I’d be murdered in there.”

“that makes two of us.” you giggle, pulling out your phone to show him the picture of you and Lewis on your first day. he’s a bit jealous as a claims, but you’re sure he’s had more opportunities to meet him than you have. considering you rarely see the drivers— except for Mick Schumacher.

“ah I’m hoping to get a picture with him like that too!” he carefully taps his finger against your screen to get another look at the picture; two of you smiling from ear to ear in Bahrain.

“I don’t have the privileges to get you to meet him, but considering your fame status? I’m sure by the end of this weekend you’ll see him more times than me.” you gesture for him to follow and he keeps up as you pass the McLaren, where Oscar piastri and lando norris are doing final placements.

“what if I want to see you more by the end of this weekend?” he asks, the words slipping off his tongue before he can filter them out. his hand flies over his lips; security guard chuckling at his intrusive thoughts winning. flirty words were easy for Tom, but he didn’t expect to find himself using a line on you this early on the tour.

you can feel the red hue quickly spread to your cheeks, it’s more noticeable than the last time he got your attention that way. he moved into your field of vision turning to face you, rather than the cars, “I mean I could always use a tour guide around Monaco?” he shrugs, hand finding the nape of his neck as he nervously plays with the hairs there.

“ask me when I’m off the clock, then legally I can answer.”

—

you thought he would’ve forgotten by now. it was hours after you gave him his own private tour of the paddock, and somehow? he was still there.

most people— fans, media, press, and other members of formula 1— had vacated the paddock following an early rise tomorrow for the big race, but not Tom. he’d stuck out waiting around, taking pictures with the few fans left, and even getting his picture with the infamous Lewis Hamilton.

“I see you finally got your picture.” you say as you make your way down those same hospitality steps to close the gap of where he stood off to the side.

“yeah, but I didn’t get that guaranteed tour of Monaco yet?”

“will I get paid by the end of the tour?” you raise an eyebrow watching his words stumble out of his mouth, words not even forming sentences you tripped him hard, “I’m joking, Tom, but I get off of work tomorrow late, so your tour will have to wait.”

he nods eager, but still slow enough to not show much of his excitement, “I can wait until then. I’ll find you here tomorrow evening?”

“deal, and I don’t take checks as a form of payment.”

[dumbistsmartass]

Every Hatchetfield song explained badly in ten words or less

spoilers and also this is only the main trilogy not nightmare time.

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Yeah, he didn't like musicals

La Dee Dah Dah Day - "the dogs are my meal"

What Do You Want, Paul? - "please god have an I want song"

Cup of Roasted Coffee - If I had to sing working retail I'd kill someone

Cup of Poisoned Coffee - oh hey, they killed someone

Show Me Your Hands - this is what cops think 24/7

You Tied up My Heart - gaslight, gatekeep, girl bossing your way to mariticide

Join Us (And Die) - Guts Magee and Brainiac explain why you should KYS

Not Your Seed - "it's your fault your daughter is dead bitch"

Show Stoppin Number - He had a point but like no

America Is Great Again - you know what it's a joke about

Let Him Come - they know he's the main character

Let It Out - Is it an identify crisis or possession

Inevitable - a beautifully haunting ending

Tickle-Me Wiggly Jingle - what the actual fuck is this?

What Tim Wants - what can I say, it's sad

Califor.M.I.A. - they really want you to bond with these characters

What Do You Say? - everyone is too invested in these twos relationship

Our Doors Are Open - "shopping will fill the hole in your heart"

Feast Or Famine - this is real footage when the new iPhone comes out

Monsters and Men - He's fucking back!

Deck The Halls - we got a full working boys, we could get this

Take Me Back - I'll be real I skipped this one on rewatch

Adore Me - haunting when you don't say the shit part

Do You Want To Play? - a reversal of who you're told to trust

Made In America - we let him in via consumerism, amazing capitalism critique

Black Friday - me singing a musical as I'm being choked out

Monsters and Men (Reprise) - This guy is so cool

If I Fail You - "are we the baddies?"

Wiggle - Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle

What If Tomorrow Comes? - So she is seeing the other Hatchetfields right?

High School Is Killing Me - they really spoil the people who die first song huh?

Literal Monster - shove yourself in your locker

Cool As I Think I Am - you think you're cooler then you think you are

Dirty Girl - makes me genuinely uncomfortable, skip it

Bully The Bully - interesting plan, let's see how It plays out

Bury The Bully - oh... that got dark fast

Go Go Nighthawks! - everyone is happier now that this bitch is gone

Nerdy Prudes Must Die - to be fair, you did kill him

Hatchet Town - mass panic is so hip

Just For Once - we all though the light was gonna fall on her

If I Loved You - they are in so much denial

The Summoning - Wiggly want you to kill your crush

Cool As I Think I Am (Reprise) - really tragic, trying to convince the other to sacrifice them

The Best Of You - I'm so glad it didn't end with everyone dead again

Dirty Dudes Must Die - When you give a Christian a little dark magic

[xiaq]

What was your relationship with HP in your childhood and what did it mean to you?

Warning: long answer is long.

I read the first HP book when I was 10. It felt like coming home. I was a deeply awkward, anxious kid dealing with bullying at school. I felt wrong and out of place and like everyone except for me had a manual for how they were supposed to navigate life; without the manual I was certain I would never catch up.

Books were a fucking haven. And THIS book. This book was about a kid that I empathized with so much. Except he's bullied and feels out of place because he IS out place. He's meant to be somewhere better, with people like him, who (for the most part) treat him kindly and with respect. And suddenly he's able to make friends and excel at his studies, and he settles into this fantastic world where he fits, and he's bright and likable and he has a purpose. It was just. God, it was everything I wanted for myself. AND there was magic and a train and a cool castle.

I think the first two books were already out when I started reading and I read the rest as they were released (re-reading them all multiple times in between). The friends I did manage to make also adored the books. I went from "playing Harry Potter" on the playground to writing fanfic to going to midnight book releases and meeting up with friends to see the movies as they started coming out. The final book came out shortly after I started high school, and the final movie came out when I was in college. I went to that midnight showing with a good portion of my friends and we all cried like babies at the end. Because it was over. This thing that had sustained us for so long. This thing that marked our childhoods.

You have to understand that Harry Potter-related expectation was a constant for the majority of my life. Since I was in elementary school there was always a new book to look forward to every year or so. And when the book series was completed, there was the next movie to look forward to. And then it was over (and with such an unsatisfying epilogue). That's when I really got involved in fandom (outside the fic I wrote amongst friends in a the group journal we kept and passed back and forth during studyhall, ofc). And fandom was the most accepting, glorious, place for an anxious queer kid just starting to come out of her shell as college afforded her the freedom to realize that maybe the very narrow (private Christian school k-12) concept of normalcy she'd been afforded until that point wasn't entirely accurate. And it continued to be glorious. I went to cons and got merch and put my House in my online dating profile and 3D printed custom HP cookie cutters and joked about having a HP themed wedding some day and my friends and I loved our nerdy little world that made us happy. Until Joanne ruined it.

And I'm honestly not trying to be dramatic, but when something has been so intrinsic to your life and your social circle and even, to an extent, part of your identify, it's fucking devastating when you find out the creator of that thing is a bigot and actively using her platform to target people you love. I stopped supporting her (buying books/movies/merch etc.) a couple years back, and I was content in embracing the concept of Death of the Author (or, as I've previously termed it, "we've killed the author and are now rifling through her stuff to keep the good bits and throw out the bad"). But now, in light of her continued escalations and the recent TV series announcement, and the conversations I've been having with friends (particularly Jewish and trans friends), I do mean that the very concept of Harry Potter is ruined for me. My, now decades, of nostalgia just...aren't enough to supersede what feels like an irresponsible attachment. Before, I wanted HP's social presence to live on in spite of and without JK Rowling. Now, it's becoming more and more apparent that the entertainment industry is going to squeeze as much money out of the HP world as possible which will, by extension, continue to give her a platform and money with which to actively support her shitty dogma.

So. Here I am, too sad to pick up my HP books for my annual summer re-read, or start the new fic a writer I love has just posted or open the document to work on my own HP fic. Which is not at all a condemnation of folks in fandom who ARE able to keep reading and creating and loving the world while thumbing their nose at her. I just can't right now.

So I'm stepping back and blocking the tags and ignoring the show and trying to let other worlds consume me.

Anyway. That's what it meant to me. Sorry for the tiny violin moment but your ask made me sit down and confront the fact that I'm dealing with an extremely weird sort of grief I haven't ever encountered before.

[whositmcwhatsit]

If we're talking about "tasteless Elvis jokes/caricature"...why do comedians ALWAYS have to make fun of E's weight gain and drug addiction towards the end of his life? Yes, I know there were times he didn't look well or act right, but this still just feels wrong to joke about.

Like, how would you feel if someone made fun of your family member who was going through problems like this? I just can't understand it. Why do they do this?

Hi, I couldn't quite tell if you wanted an answer or a safe place to rant with like-minded people. Regardless, you came to the right place.

It sucks, I know. People used to use all the jokes/impersonations as a weapon to mess with me when I was a an obsessive little nerdy kid who wore her heart on her sleeve. They even had a chant. Good times.

I used to get really upset and filled with righteous anger about it. I used to argue and debate and fight about it. It didn't change anything, but it wore me down. I know how it hurts, but I've learnt to grow a callus to protect myself from it over the years. I think it's also a good filter system to weed out dicks who don't deserve my time.

As for why, there are lots of reasons I think. I won't spew psychology on you, but some people feel glee in what they see as the downfall of powerful people, others resent being sold the image of a "good, clean Christian boy who didn't drink or smoke" and feel cheated and lied to and act out accordingly. And the jokes began in the late 70s and early 80s when addiction was considered a weakness, a failing or a choice, worthy of mockery. And you know, speaking as a slightly twisted individual myself, some people deal with uncomfortable topics/feelings with dark humour.

And some people are just asswipes.

There are no easy answers. I take comfort in the fact that most people who personally loved Elvis cannot be affected by it anymore, and neither can he. And I let myself be filled with warmth and joy by what he left behind for all of us.

Elvis himself said you have to try and get it behind you and let it go, though we know he was never quite able to do that himself. Personally, I fight negativity with positivity. Whenever any kind of joysucking ass tries to steal/spoil my happiness, I relish it a little bit more out of principle!

Take it from someone who has been riding these waves for... a while, Elvis doesn't need an army to defend him, he just always wanted and needed an audience.

[hanitje]

I think a lot of people misinterpreted Nigel McGuinness' role as a commentator, thinking that he was only somebody who made bad jokes and comments stuff.

No. He's a HEEL commentator. His role is to make people want to strangle him whenever he opens his mouth. His delulu commentary is about elevating heel wrestlers, so he will always say something controversial. He will never get embarrassed or ashamed of what he's saying, just like Christian Cage never gets embarrassed or morally ashamed of what he's doing.

Nigel is a walking (sitting?) red flag, just like other heel commentators such as Jerry 'The King' Lawler or even Taz. He will bait other commentators and even the audience with his remarks. Just like Christian, people shouldn't feel entertained by him. When Christian mocked dead fathers, people were aghast and horrified. When Nigel mocked women and good wrestlers, people were ready to punch him.

But their roles are basically villains, like in movies and TV shows. It doesn't mean that they are like that IRL and I feel bad for people who still think that their persona is their real personality. They make bad jokes, even teetering around to the contentious opinions.

Based on what I read and limited knowledge, Nigel is actually a sweet nerdy magician dude who likes to spend some time with his Bebe and his girlfriend.

The only person who can keep up with Nigel is Ian Riccaboni. And if you notice, Ian is the only one who can make him embarrassed. Nigel is an insecure heel retired wrestler/commentator who mocks people but when others say something outside his comfort zone, he becomes a blubbering mess.

Ian said that he'd scissored his wife during The Acclaimed entrance, and Nigel was aghast that Ian actually shared that information. He yelled, "My children are watching this!" (Nigel only has one child), which Ian answered, unbothered, "So are mine." When Nigel gave a standing ovation to Christian, Ian was the one who told him to shut up and sit his ass down.

I think it has something to do with their age. Nigel and Ian have good chemistry together and they won't bother to think about anyone's feelings, unlike Nigel's commentator partners such as JR, Kevin Kelley, and Tony Schiavone who are much older than him. (I also find it funny that Nigel is actually very respectful to his colleagues in real life and even one time tried to protect JR from a brawl).

Adding a female commentator, for example, won't change a thing about the way he talks - he is supposed to be a pig who likes talking dirty but immediately fret when others are dirtier than him, such as Jon Moxley and Zack Sabre Jr.

When Moxley talked about Bryan Danielson's kinky sex, Nigel coldly (and uncomfortably) told him that he didn't need to hear about his personal sex life, which Moxley just laughed off. (IRL Nigel borrowed Bryan's tantric sex book 😂)

Nigel is playing it like a loudmouth conservative British bloke who keeps a high regard for patriarchy and husband rights and Father of The Year from the most despicable wrestlers. He shook hands with Christian Cage, Jeff Jarrett, Ricky Starks, and many more - just because they are heels.

I do find Nigel very entertaining because of his delusional grandeur attitude. He will say anything to defend his favorite heel wrestlers, especially Christian Cage, who is the King of Heels. He's in love with Christian and despises Bryan Danielson with a thousand suns. Which is kinda ironic because back when he was a wrestler, he was the sluttiest wrestler and probably in love with Bryan so much.

[cryptiqish]

some quick thoughts on nerdy prudes must die

first off - this is 100% a return to form for starkid for me. tgwdlm was like. lighting in a bottle but i really, really am not a fan of black friday - so i dipped after that, and never really looked into nightmare time etc. as i'm not super into the hatchetfield eldritch lore stuff - honestly, i figured i was aging out of it. THAT SAID. holy shit. npmd is brilliant

every single goddamn song is a banger. every one. it's so rare for me to like everything at least to a little bit, but when i can interchange my entire top 5 you know it's brilliant. high school is killing me, nerdy prudes must die, dirty girl, hatchet town...all top tier starkid in general. up there w tgwdlm

angela giarratana and will branner steal this entire show. absolutely insane stuff from both of them. will in particular...oh man. it's his show and you just KNOW it

oh shit!!! oh fuck!!!! i didnt think thered be a skele'uhn here... im so fucking scared of skele'uhnz!!!

it's FUNNY

i <3 the weird anime nerd kid. rip king

jon's vocals and just. general range in this is amazing to see from tgwdlm

 i will say i wish this maintained the more straight slasher vibe of the first act all the way through but that’s just personal preference since i'm less into the overarching eldritch lore stuff as mentioned. with that in mind though, i didn't find the lords in black stuff as jarring as i thought i would (and the summoning's a banger) - so it works narratively. i think at the end of the day i prefer my standalone shows - not everything needs to be an extended universe - so i was pleasantly surprised at how relatively well this could function as its own thing.

following that - i think this is the closest starkid's gotten to like, off-broadway quality - with plot modifications i could 100% see it making the jump. the production quality - of both the musical itself and the proshot, is amazing - everything pops, it's incredibly polished and just looks brilliant (again, such a step up from BF.)

shoutout to the costume design in particular. top tier work again. ghost max looked crazy good.

for something that in actuality didn't get a lot of focus...can’t stop thinking about how the whole max jagerman grace chastity dynamic is like the absolute HARDEST thing to randomly come out of starkid. the implicit themes had absolutely no right to go that hard!!!! it’s a silly horror comedy!

devout repressed christian and a boy that thinks he’s god. and then she deals with the first sign of sexual attraction to him by killing him??

and then his ghost comes back for vengeance, viewing it as divine justice - and then she ends the musical enacting her own vengeful divine justice?? straight up with modified reprise of his song?? they’re one and the same?? the prayer motif???

“will you pray for me / when i’m gone / or is this the eternal dark without a dawn” and “who will pray for you / when your body’s gone” is like the rawest motif of all time and it’s in the same musical that has an ten minute long barbecue joke sequence unrelated to the plot

nothing sexier than the motif of killing god and god killing you, in general. i do think i loved this one because it played with a lot of my fave tropes and themes of horror - high school slasher, archetypes, coming back wrong, religion, all that

"the big game" kept cracking me up it's so dumb and yet

anyway this whole thing just felt like we've unlocked...i dunno, a new level of starkid?? i was blown away and i'm sure for those more invested in hatchetfield beyond tgwdlm it hit even more, but it's left me so excited to see what's next from them for the first time in years.

[drovvninq]

clone high season 3 thoughts:

joan was handled a lot better but it sucks that her and jfk NEVER talked abt their relationship again. it's all about her and abe/confucious now and i hate it. i liked her going back to her indie girl roots but the og joan would NEVER accept that whole "i'll pretend to date you if you pay for my film festival" shit. she had more class than that. it feels like she's doing that thing they did in z-o-m-b-i-e-s where s2 she thinks she belongs with harriet and jfk but now she thinks she's a bleacher creature... idk it's weird.... bleacher creatures were kinda cool tho :) not topher.

i liked jfk being the mc actually, it was refreshing. i found the christian arc really fitting especially at the end where they tied it together as him being a kennedy. i didn't like him dating harriet again and i also didn't like the jfabe hints ???? that scares me... but the dick pic thing was funny,, also the fact that he's just like,, one of the guys now?? him and confucius and abe being buds. just dudes being dudes.

abe was SO much more in character this season. i didn't particularly like the bloody mary episode but the whole "i found a girl and she's nerdy like me and she's cute and funny but she wants to get rid of joan" thing is okay i guess. it really feeds back into s1 when he abandoned ghandi for cleo. overall he was good but he was VERY hypersexual this season and it was just awkward to watch.

cleo acted... KIND of like herself?? i liked the slim snowsuit thing and the supporting frida because she got free stuff but that's like it. i still wish her and frida had more setup in s2 but they handled it well this season at least. them being the christian icons was funny i guess but i seriously want cleo to accidentally use frida and manipulate her power at some point and then feel guilt. that's the ONLY reason cleo should ever feel guilty for anything in this show.

frida was chill tbh, not much to say abt her. the whole fish pointing, painting stuff for cleo, only snorkeling to make her happy was sososososo cute </33 i want more stuff like that :")

harriet is terrible character writing. her only trait is that she's smart and loyal, but she cheats on confucius. with eye sex. I HATE THE EYE SEX THING. WHY WAS IT NECESSARY. and then she goes back to confucius as soon as she thinks he's available just because she thinks he likes her. WHAT. AND THEN SHE'S MAD ??? i feel like she's only there to be joan's friend and to be with frida at the beginning of s1... WHY!!!!! IS JFK!!!!! DATING HER !!!!! STILL !!!! NOT ONLY IS SHE A BAD FRIEND, SHE'S JUST A BAD PARTNER IN GENERAL!!

confucius is a good character though imho. he was a good person this season and his actions actually made sense with his motivations. he's a huge people pleaser and because of that he wants validation in points (ep1) and doesn't wanna tell harriet he's dating joan. he wants to keep everyone happy and he's so sweet tbh he's growing on me.

SCUDWORTH. AND. BUTLERTRON. FART JOKES. SEX JOKES. GAY LOVE JOKES. GANDHI JOKES. WESLEY JOKES. I LOVE THEM!!!

[bi4pan-polls]

I would like to present, for your consideration, Stephanie Lauter and Peter Spankoffski from Hatchetfield.

Steph has been confirmed to be canonically pan by her actress, Pete has huge bi vibes (and is sorta implied to be transmasc?)

Hatchetfield is a horror anthology series. So far there are three musicals and eight episodes of a webshow, and everything but the most recent musical is currently available for free on YouTube. Steph and Pete have two major appearances.

The first is in the web episode Abstinence Camp, a Friday the 13th spoof. At the start of the episode, they're both forced to attend a Christian summer camp, an idea that they hate bond over. They've got a bit of banter and hit it off well. Highlights include Steph giving him contraband chocolate bars when the counselors don't care about his lowering blood sugar, Pete agreeing she got the short end of the stick in her situation, and the both of them being generally pretty snarky together.

There's a scene where Steph decides to test the camp's rules (and get some privacy) by showering in the boys' washroom. Pete is the only one there, and his first instinct is to do the respectful thing and let her be in there alone, only staying to finish cleaning when she insists it's okay if he's in there. (They have more banter, she finds out just how hot he is when you actually get a good look at him. He's described as jacked in this scene, but due to a recast, this is most certainly retconned. Still a cute moment between them). It culminates in them deciding to test the ghost story running around the camp that doing anything remotely sexy will get you killed by a spirit living in the woods, but are caught before anything can happen. Between getting into trouble and the audience knowing that there have already been other deaths, it's for the best that Steph plans to make an escape. What's sweet, though, is that she makes a point to get Pete to come too.

Throughout the whole climax of the story they both actively try to protect each other. Pete yells at the Axe-Man to leave Steph alone, she shields him from harm when he accidentally breaks his leg. By the end of the story they're both still alive, and are actively aware they're the only ones who know just how fucked up the camp is. It's implied they keep protecting each other that whole summer.

(If there are any Hatchetfans reading this and you haven't seen NPMD yet, here is your spoiler warning.)

Their most recent appearance is in the newest Musical, Nerdy Prudes Must Die. NPMD is also a slasher spoof, but with a twist: the nerds are in danger and the rebellios and popular "bad kids" are on the killer's good side.

The whole show happens because in this timeline, Steph and Pete meet when she asks to cheat off of his bio test.

Two things to note about that. 1. Despite Steph being the most popular girl and Pete being one of the most unpopular kids in all of Hatchetfield High, she already knows his name. 2. It does not take much convincing for him to agree. They get caught, and are sent to detention. Pete freaks out, not because he got in trouble, but because now he's in with a popular girl (the mayor's daughter, no less) and it's going to get him unwanted attention from the kids that pick on him. They have more banter, like in AC, to the point Pete doesn't know how well it's going until Steph says that he's funny and admits she likes funny guys. This sticks with Pete enough he decides to wear nicer clothes and crack jokes more often, even when just with his friends. They even ask if he's trying to impress someone.

Steph calls him. From a payphone.

For someone who never gave Pete a second thought before, she sure did already know is name AND number. Are we sure you didn't already have an eye on him, Steph?

She asks him to give a proper study session, and he agrees, in part due to his friends telling him that sparks were flying. He ends up singing a whole song about wondering if he's really cool enough to hang out with her.

Pete ends up getting beat up by his biggest bully (Max Jagerman) on the way, and when Steph finds out, she gets VERY righteous. She says she's not going to let Pete put up with bullying anymore and offers to step in (even though Pete doesn't think it will do much). Before they really have a chance to do anything, another student (Grace Chasity) offers up her own revenge plan that inadvertently ends up killing Max. Max ends up coming back as a ghost with a grudge against nerds, since everyone that was there when he died (besides Steph) was an unpopular nerd.

They share a lot of banter up until the first death, when things become more serious by necessity. Still, they both do a pretty bad job of covering up their crushes, and end up having a duet arguing over who has the bigger crush and why a relationship would never work between them the way things are right now (note: Pete says he felt almost seduced by her, Steph admits she's into smart guys and knows he's an intellectual type).

As the show goes on, Steph is actively protecting him like in AC, encouraging him to stay behind her in case something happens.

Steph, Pete, and Grace end up being the last three survivors of the main cast, and strike a deal with beings called The Lords in Black. The Lords will take Max to the afterlife for good if one of the teens gives up what they cherish most. Pete and Steph have a crisis, because now they have to admit to each other that okay maybe they are sorta in love, and have to decide who will die for the other. Pete insists that he do something worthwhile for once and save everybody by being the sacrifice. And Steph, despite her heartbreak, agrees.

LUCKILY Grace prevents that by saving the day in the funniest way possible. Too amazing to spoil (and also because I've barely gone into her subplot this whole time). But Steph and Pete make it out together. And they're grateful for it. And they even get to go to homecoming together.

By then end, they've decided they can make it work and have a song about being able to bring out the best in each other. (Special shoutout to the lyrics "I’m the best of you / And you’re the best of me / And together we are free / To run around" and "Its like you knew me / Before you knew me / Its like you saw me / Before you saw me")

(Hatchetfans, spoilers end here)

In conclusion, stan Lautski

(sorry for putting a whole essay in your inbox, op)

Was given permission to post this*

They seem. So hecking cool honesty love this for them I will also encourage other people to submit them

Propaganda for Stephanie Lauter and Peter Spankoffski from Hatchetfield.

[thepunkmuppet]

I’ve already posted about my big theories for nerdy prudes, but I just wanted to get my personal hopes and mini predictions down in a neat little list before I finally see the digital ticket on Tuesday! I will reblog this with a completed checklist once I’ve seen it (obviously with spoilers tagged) CANT WAIT!!

so, in no particular order:

paul and emma cameo. I think paul is confirmed based on this one post I saw but the photo was very blurry so it could be someone else… still both lauren and jon are in the show, they had a cameo in black friday - I just think they deserve to be together and happy in every universe until they inevitably die or break up horribly and I would squee so hard if they really showed up

ted cameo where he immediately dies. because come on. you can’t not do it you just can’t

stephski kiss. I just think they’re neat

HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE. HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE HOLLODUKE APPEARANCE HOLLOD

the book they get the ritual from is the black book which is how miss holloway (as the student counsellor miss holiday) ties in.

grace gets a solo song and also a lethal weapon.

grace canonically has a crush on steph. idk I’m very happy with the “we’re besties” “I hate you and want you dead” dynamic but also “I’m madly in love with you and obsessed with you and also a repressed christian teenager” “I hate you and want you dead and also have a boyfriend” has potential

bill and alice cameo. corey and mariah have played father and daughter twice and I think they could get some quality jokes out of that even if just for one scene

the apocalypse happens and everyone dies just like in the other two musicals - otherwise I think it would pretty much just feel like a nightmare time episode scaled up to 10 which doesn’t sound bad, just not what fans are looking for in a full fledged hatchetfield musical

detective shapiro will be an undercover peip agent or at least connected to them in some way

it’s set in the same universe as abstinence camp (therefore ted is alive, grace steph and pete have established dynamics with each other, they know about weird shit in hatchetfield, etc)

my theories end up being correct. or at least blinky is the major villain and the murderer is being controlled by him and “larry” is an important character

HERE IS HOW GENERAL MACNAMARA CAN STILL WIN-

[abwwia]

AYO EDEBIRI Still remembers the first joke she ever told. She was in eighth grade and had just joined the improv team at her school in Boston. She was an anxious, nerdy teen, fond of writing fan fiction about Jacob Black from Twilight eating hot dogs. Improv was not necessarily an obvious fit. Then she made a crack about why Christians’ favorite cheese was Swiss: “Because it’s holy,” she says, rolling her eyes. “For some reason, people thought that was really funny.” (For the record, this reporter laughed.)

[otakween]

Digimon Adventure Drama CD 2 (Character Song + Mini Drama 2)

It's pretty funny how both this CD and the previous one begin with Butterfly. I guess the CD needed an OP just like the anime! Christmas isn't mentioned once on this CD by the way...

Download link

Drama Translation

Koushiro and the Missing Whereabouts of Love

In this mini drama Koushiro is writing a love letter on his laptop and the gang find out. Everyone mobs him with questions and excitement and then he flies away with Kabuterimon to escape.

I don't have much to say about this one because it was so short. The only thing I found kind of amusing was that Yamato defends Koushiro at first but then is like "actually, I want to see it too teehee."

When I read the translation for this, there were actually more characters involved than I realized. There were so many people talking over each other that I completely missed Gomamon was there lol.

Image Song 1 - VERSION UP (Koushiro Izumi)

Translation

I hate to say it, cuz Koushiro is my fave, but I think this was one of the weaker image songs. I like the appropriately nerdy title, but the lyrics were too abstract to be interesting. Something about changing the world for the better.

I did get a kick out of hearing Koushiro singing at least. I kinda wish the digimon had duets with their human partners. Hearing Tentomon singing would be hilarious (maybe that comes later).

Mimi’s Overly Self-Conscious Plans for World Domination

The gang capture Koushiro and continue debating over who he wrote his love letter to. Mimi is very confident that it's herself and goes on and on about how all men fall for her. Koushiro is apparently gagged so can't protest.

Kinda weird jokes in this one. They say that Koushiro would be unhappy with Sora because she'd have him whipped (which...where did that come from?) And then they do the whole "you can't date my younger sister" crap. Yamato chimed in that if he was Taichi he wouldn't let Koushiro date Hikari...why does he care? Just unfunny early 2000s gags lol

Another obscure reference joke. This time about The Kindaichi Case Files. Definitely had to wikipedia that one. This CD wasn't exactly written to hold up in the future, huh?

Image Song 2 - Because We Can See Each Other Anytime (Mimi Tachikawa)

Translation

I loved this one, extreme Mimi vibes. Nothing to do with saving the world or facing your fears, just a poppy love song. I guess there's definitely a tinge of melancholy to it. It sounds like it's about a long distance relationship.

I liked the lyrics and imagery in this one, especially the line about minds leaving bodies and meeting without any restrictions. It almost felt like a song about love during COVID lol.

Hikari’s Weak Constitution

Okay, this one was basically just a shit post lol. It starts off following up on the previous part with the gang discussing who Koushiro is writing a love letter to and then it just descends into chaos. Very "lol randum" kinda humor with the characters saying lines that have nothing to do with the situation. Kinda funny, mostly stupid.

Booo we don't even get to figure out who the letter was to because they beep it out. Hikari politely asking us to listen to her song was cute tho lol.

Image Song 3 - Holy Light (Hikari Yagami)

Translation

Another kind of abstract one only this one has weird psuedo-religious vibes. Typical of anime to do that though. I guess it makes sense with all the angel digimon. Gonna interpret this one as being about having faith in dark times. (Maybe not in the Christian sense tho lol)

Hikari's voice is really cute. I kind of wish there were animations of the characters singing these. Maybe if someone made an AMV with lip sync...

Preview for the Next CD

There's a little "next time on Digimon Adventure" preview at the end haha. Nice touch. No translation so I had to figure this one out on my own. Something about "hatsu yume" which is the first dream you have in the New Year.

I cracked the code, the reason why the cover art for this CD is Christmas themed is because it came out in December. Still weird, but okay...

[tonberry-yoda]

Heya! May I request a Final Fantasy male matchup? Feel free to chose a franchise from your list whatever comes into your mind first

𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬/𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗦: Biromantic Pansexual and Genderfluid; He/They (though I'm biologically woman irl)

𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘: 21 years old, 5'1.5", Southeast Asian. Chubby with messy shoulder length brunette hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a small beauty mark on my forehead. Feminine Tomboy/Soft Vintage (like Malia Tate's style from Teen Wolf) but loves to wear Korean makeup style

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: Libra-Scorpio cusp, Muggleborn Slytherin with a patronous spirit of Hummingbird, an INFJ, my enneagram is 4w5 and my moral alignment is Neutral Good. I may have a slight introverted tendencies and awkward/anxious nature, I describe myself as fiery, swears like a sailor, confident, jokester, and, passionate. Religious, super talkative, sometimes hyper (because of excitement), giggly (I always laugh/snort for stupid reasons), nerdy, also sweet and nice though I can be aloof, intimidating, and scary when I get so angry. I tend to become really fiesty, stands boldly on what I believe (claiming myself as a realist though some of my views doesn't makes sense), unbothered to be myself, stubborn, young-at-heart, clumsy unfortunate and inattentive. Would don't give af towards the people that I hate, sarcasam and savagery is my main language. But on the other side, I overthink a lot and cry over small things many times which I sound like a drama queen, and a perfectionist that provokes even more, yet recognizes a soft spot for dumb jokes, cheesy pickup lines and prefer people with a good sense of humour who see myself as equal. Chill in academics, but very competitive that manages to the top even for my dreams---I'm very dedicated on what I want for my life, and I display modesty and gracefulness towards some people that deserves respect. One notable feature about her is her multi-potentiality due to being naturally gifted in artistic fields (this includes singing).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦/𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Arts, choir, poetry, karaoke, literature, history, makeup, beauty pageants, fun/deep/dumb conversations, expanding my knowledge in Christianity, documentaries (about saints), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦: Stereotyping, obligation (without a logical reason), getting excluded, being interrupted, invalidating my feelings, judgemental people, telenovelas, hypocrites, dirty bathrooms, blackout, lightning, firecrackers, toads, snakes, cockroaches, toxic masculinity, misogyny, fake woke individuals, colonial mentality, and absurdly girly things

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: Drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around (I'm very bad at it), sharing nerdy or opinionated thoughts, walking like a model (if I ever feel so confident), sleeping, listening to music (2000s, rock, kpop, and EDM), chatting or browsing on social media, watching videos on YouTube, making terrible jokes/puns, watching cartoons, writing, cooking, reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks. I also used to study Italian language a bit

oh my goodness hi there!!! sorry this took a bit, i have been piled with finals, but i got the hard stuff outta the way and now i only have a couple more lets GOOOOOOO. now onto the matchup because I have the perfect character for you!!!!

the character I chose for you is...

PROMPTO!!!

omg he was my first fictional crush look at how beautiful he is

he loves to kiss the beauty mark on your forehead, it was like made for him to land a little kiss on lol

literally thinks you're the most gorgeous being on the entire planet

everything about you

loves your style and just cant get over you lol

thinks it's adorable when he gets you laughing

it's kind of his favorite thing when he makes you laugh because he thinks your laugh is adorable and he wants to be the only one to hear it sometimes, so expect him to crack a lot of silly jokes

he thinks it's really attractive that you get feisty and can stand up for what you believe in

loves your confidence it just makes him love you 100x more because he himself can be a little insecure, so you definitely help him by example showing how amazing you are

he will definitely hold you in those spots where you arent feeling 100% and overthinking. he knows exactly how that can feel, so expect conversations and hugs for sure

definitely doesnt think you're a drama queen and wants to help you as best as he can because he cares about you so much

he is literally the king of dumb jokes and pick up lines, so expect to be blushing and laughing a lot around this doofas

he is very supportive of you and your dreams and will help to the best of his ability (though if it is anything related to academics, he will smile at you, tell you you're doing great and then tell you to go ask Ignis for help lmfaooo)

he will listen to you sing from afar, but if you are willing to sing in front of him, please do, he will love you forever because he is such a sucker for your beautiful voice

loves all of the things you're talented at and will listen to you talk about them for hours with hearts in his eyes

it doesnt matter if you're bad at dancing, expect Prompto to appear in the room and pull you into his arms, dancing with you

walk like a model and this man will hype you up and BEG for a fashion show fr

you two definitely get each other laughing with your awful puns, but that's kinda the best part about you two lmao

cuddle and watch cartoons, that's it. no more has to be said. prompto loves this

if you cook for him, he will brag to Ignis that you are a way better cook

he definitely put you in a pickle there lmaooo

~~~~~

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[wrestlingisfake]

WrestleDream preview

Christian Cage vs. Darby Allin - Allin is challenging for the AEW TNT championship, in his hometown of Seattle. It's a best two out of three falls match, so the first guy to score two falls (by pinfall, submission, count-out, disqualification, or stoppage) wins the match and the title. Cage has been acting like the TNT champion ever since he helped Luchasaurus win the belt on June 17, but he didn't officially win the belt until September 23, in a three-way match against both Lucha and Allin.

The story has dragged out for months and it seems to be well-received, but there's not much to it beyond the fact that Cage is a mega-dick and Allin has a strong attachment to this particular championship. I could get into how Christian has become a meme for fixating on his opponent's dead fathers and single moms, but that's not really pertinent here. I also don't expect his talk of becoming a real father figure to Allin's protege Nick Wayne will amount to anything. Once the bell rings, it's just going to be a hometown hero against a ridiculous heel running out of ways to avoid a straight fight.

Christian spent most of his career intertwined with Adam "Edge" Copeland, whose WWE contract reportedly expired at the end of September. Naturally fandom jumped the gun and started fantasy booking Edge getting into this storyline two weeks ago, so by now there's a lot of hype for his debut. If he's in the building tonight, my guess is he'll make his entrance after the match is over. I'm not at all convinced that he'll align with either of these guys or play a role in the finish. But I guess we'll see.

I was on the fence about who would win here until they made it clear this match would close the show. We've got several local boys on this card and I don't think they'll all win, but you gotta figure the one in the main event has to win. WWE would jump at the chance to defy that expectation, but AEW isn't nearly so eager to fuck with people, so I think Darby will secure his third TNT title reign.

Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Bryan Danielson - Sabre is the NJPW World television champion, but as far as I've heard the title is not at stake here. This match is more about simple pride, and delivering a dream scenario for mat-based wrestling.

Danielson is such a good grappler that he routinely won the Wrestling Observer's annual reader's award for technical wrestling, and when he retired in 2016 the award was named in his honor. The only other man to hold the award in the past 17 years is Sabre; Bryan once joked that he came in second for the Bryan Danielson award. A scheduled matchup in 2022 was canceled when Danielson was sidelined. Now planning his second retirement, Bryan is circling back to that unfinished business.

I expect these two to just have fun exchanging holds and working however they want. That may or may not click with AEW's audience. I mean, the AEW fanbase isn't going to ridicule this for being a nerdy scientific bout. But Sabre is all about wriggling in and out of holds, not splashy high-impact maneuvers. And Bryan isn't doing this match to not work Sabre's style; the point will be to beat him at his own game. That could come across like a chess match in the middle of a football game, if they're not careful.

I had a pretty good feeling Danielson would win here...when I still thought this match was going to close the show. The fact that it isn't suggests they don't want to end with a local favorite going down in defeat. And it makes sense for Bryan to put over the younger guy on his way (eventually) to retirement. However, I think there's at least a chance of a Danielson win, so I'm picking Sabre but not with a ton of confidence.

MJF vs. Vincent Marseglia & Bobby Dutch - On September 22, Vincent and Dutch, of the Righteous, earned the right to challenge MJF and Adam Cole for the ROH tag team title. However, Cole injured his ankle on September 20, and revealed on September 27 that he'd need surgery. Rather than forfeit the championship, Max insisted on defending the belts all by himself.

Before Cole got hurt I was sure this was a slam-dunk easy win for the champs. Now I have no idea. The Righteous really have no business winning the ROH tag title from two top AEW stars in the middle of a hot storyline. They certainly have no business pinning the AEW men's world champion. On the other hand, I'm not a fan of a top singles guy winning a handicap match against a solid midcard tag team--WWE used to do that all the time, but that doesn't mean I want AEW to start. Also, what's the point of having Max retain? It'd be a huge testament to his devotion to Cole, but you'd just be setting up another two-on-one situation for the next title defense.

Regardless, I think this should be sports entertainment at its finest. Max will have to pull out all his cheap tricks to stay alive, and because of the storyline the fans will be solidly behind each and every one of those tricks. I don't see him retaining the belts unless someone does a run-in, and right now Max's only friend is not exactly equipped to run into anything. So if he does win, it'll probably involve a whole new wrinkle in the ongoing saga...

Kenny Omega & Kota Ibushi & Chris Jericho vs. Will Ospreay & Konosuke Takeshita & Sammy Guevara - Don Callis and Takeshita turned on Omega a few months ago, and Guevara turned on Jericho a couple weeks ago to join them. Ospreay hasn't formally joined the Don Callis Family but he's been helping them out an awful lot for someone who isn't technically involved. Omega and Jericho needed backup, so naturally that means the return of Kenny's ~very special friend~ Ibushi.

I don't expect this match to resolve any feuds. At most it'll set up Jericho vs. Sammy and Takeshita vs. Ibushi. I'm not sure where that will leave Omega or Ospreay, who already squared off in June. You'd think the destination is Golden Lovers versus Takeshita and somebody, but I'm not sure who ends up in that role. The Callis faction is still a work-in-progress, so they'll probably get the win as they continue to coalesce into their final form.

Eddie Kingston vs. Katsuyori Shibata - Eddie is defending both the ROH men's world title and the NJPW STRONG title. Shibata's ROH pure championship is not on the line, and pure rules won't be in effect. I'm not sure there's any point here except that Eddie loves Japanese wrestling, so he's been going around wrestling all the guys he admires. On paper I'd call Shibata the heavy favorite, but it doesn't make sense for him to be a triple champion. So the story needs to be about Eddie overcoming Shibata's withering offense with sheer force of will. Kingston retains.

Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler vs. Kyle Fletcher & Mark Davis - FTR (Dax and Cash) are defending the AEW tag team championship. This is a rematch from October 1, when FTR beat Aussie Open to retain the IWGP tag title. The build for this is the same as every other big tag match you've ever seen, with both teams claiming to be the best, and resenting the other being called the best, and everybody's trying to feed their kids yadda yadda. Point is, the wrestling will be good. I suppose a title change would be okay, but I'm thinking FTR will retain.

Kris Statlander vs. Julia Hart - This is Statlander's 13th defense of the AEW TBS championship. Julia has not lost a match since April, when she came up short against...well, Kris Statlander. I've been digging Julia's whole spooky chick gimmick and it's gratifying to see her getting a push, although I don't know if switching the title here is the next logical step for her. Of late she's been spraying black mist into the eyes of Skye Blue and Willow Nightingale, and I have no idea how or why that'll play into this match. Something tells me Kris will retain and Julia will refocus on that spooky stuff.

Adam Page vs. Swerve Strickland - Strickland is from Tacoma and is bound to be over huge in Seattle. I've been profoundly disappointed in the writing for Swerve's storylines in AEW, and I think he's been criminally underutilized. He desperately needs a big win as a statement, and I'm not confident he's going to get it here. They've tried to make this feel like a huge grudge match, but the go-home promos just didn't click with me--each guy basically said what they would have said to literally any other opponent. I like Page and want him to get back into the groove, but under the circumstances I have to pull for Swerve to beat him.

Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Austin Gunn & Colten Gunn vs. Orange Cassidy & HOOK vs. Penta El Zero Miedo & Rey Fenix - This is a four-way match where the first man to score a fall on any opponent will win the match and a future AEW tag title shot. This feels kind of random. I get the feeling the Gunns are next in line, and the other three teams are just here so we won't expect the Gunns to win.

Ricky Starks vs. Wheeler Yuta - Starks is now 0-2 against Bryan Danielson but he still talks like he's winning, so now Danielson's young boy is going to try to shut him up. I mean, Starks needs a win and he's obviously going to win here, so that's good. But since Yuta is the bottom bitch in Danielson's group it really emphasizes that Starks had to take a big step down to find somebody he could beat. I'm not thrilled about that, but as far as this match goes I'm sure they'll make him look good.

Shane Taylor & Lee Moriarty & Diamante & Mercedes Martinez vs. Athena & Keith Lee & Satoshi Kojima & Billie Starkz - This is on the pre-show. I haven't kept up with ROH lately so I assume Taylor's team is the latest incarnation of Shane Taylor Promotions. I don't know that the other team has any reason to be in this fight. The only storyline I'm aware of is how Athena is a heel but she's "graciously" recruited Starkz, a babyface, as her personal minion. Kojima seems to just be here to remind us that this was ostensibly a New Japan tribute show. I guess Athena's team wins.

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Josh Barnett - Another pre-show match. Barnett is a former UFC champion and once headlined the Tokyo Dome with New Japan. But modern wrestling fans may know his name best from Josh Barnett's Bloodsport, a regular fixture in GCW's Wrestlemania weekend schedule. I'm a bit surprised they're just throwing his AEW debut out there like this, but maybe that's because Claudio's just going to beat him in 8 minutes.

Max Caster & Anthony Bowens & Billy Gunn vs. Shane Haste & Mikey Nicholls & Bad Dude Tito - Gunn and the Acclaimed are defending the AEW trios title on the pre-show. The challengers are Zack Sabre's teammates in TMDK. I hope this means Haste does a cool entrance with his theme song and the orange hat h had during the G1, but knowing AEW they'll accidentally play Slapjack's entrance theme instead. The champs obviously have to retain.

Luchasaurus vs. Nick Wayne - Yet another pre-show match. Wayne is the son of journeyman wrestler Buddy Wayne, who trained Darby Allin in the Seattle area. Luchasaurus is a 65-million-year-old dinosaur with a master's degree, who is unwaveringly loyal to Christian Cage for no apparent reason. So they're going to fight here, probably to keep each other from running into the main event. I'm sure Nick's flippy moves will keep him alive for a while, but Lucha is going to grab this kid and squash him like a bug.