#nenes assisted suicide

[thepinacleofintelligence]

Look who I drew! It’s NENE :D

[2n2n]

I'd like to think a little out loud about Amane's perception of Tsukasa's escape from his boundary, and his possible underlying emotional arc regarding Tsukasa... he's a difficult boy who doesn't talk about most of his feelings, particularly about Tsukasa... so all we can do for now, until he talks, is theorize. But let's go...

Before the shinjuu, Amane ominously speaks in metaphors about the moon, & believing in something being real, even if nobody else does. It's a pretty obvious allusion to Tsukasa. He also mentions forgiving something and someone, even if nobody else could understand or forgive them. Amane is devoted to Tsukasa-- that's the only way I can read this, personally.

Amane in a recent chapter, revealed that his intention with the shinjuu was to save Tsukasa, & allow them to remain together.

we have seen that... perhaps in Amane's boundary, Tsukasa was kept in a stasis, enshrined in sakura blossoms, dressed in his regalia.

Tsukasa could only escape this boundary with the help of Sakura. We know Sumire could not leave her boundary without assistance, either. We also recently hear Tsukasa talk about needing to create your own exit from prison, & Amane... not responding to his cries for help, at some point.

seeing Tsukasa like this makes Amane emotional. With this encounter, Tsukasa believes Amane is happy to see him.

Amane snaps violently & emotionally after this moment, slamming Nene-chan into the ground by her wrists, in much the way we expect him to treat Tsukasa. Was that gesture intended for Tsukasa? We don't quite know what it means, yet. We also don't know what expression Tsukasa sends towards Nene-chan before departing! Mysteries.

Amane is upset as the Mitsuba conflict ensues, & wants to know why Tsukasa is doing all of this-- and presumably, why he's gone through all of the trouble to escape the boundary Amane placed him in (for his own protection?)....

Tsukasa declares that he loved the moment Amane finally stopped holding back, & killed him.

Amane becomes ... overwhelmed, emotional, crying, vulnerable. I do not believe what he is feeling is fear of Tsukasa for being crazy or something, I believe what he is feeling is fear of being seen, fear of discussion & acknowledgement of his grand gesture, fear of addressing feelings he has (cowardly?) avoided (?) by keeping Tsukasa in stasis (?)....

Amane, in response to this, shuts down & doubles down on his bleak belief system: that it doesn't MATTER if Tsukasa loves him, it doesn't MATTER because things can't be DIFFERENT, as a ghost, things can't CHANGE. Whatever regrets he had in life, whatever he failed to achieve with Tsukasa, whatever future he wished for of them... cannot come to be.

Amane & Tsukasa have no future, & nothing can be changed.

Clockkeepers happens, & Amane again doubles down on his belief system, of a fixed fate. There is nothing he can do to save Nene-chan.

By the Hell of Mirrors, I believe Amane .... begins to 'play' with Tsukasa. I personally believe Hell of Mirrors is essentially Amane & Tsukasa messing with everybody-- with Mitsuba & Nene-chan as their respective clowns. Tsukasa has playfully taken the role of Amane's 'rival', despite actually doing everything in service to Amane's wish. Amane plays at being Tsukasa's 'rival' back, and the entire 'fight' is extremely unserious for the two of them...

Let's say, extrapolating, that Tsukasa was a very suicidal person by nature. Let's say, that he never had the will to live, willing to trade his life for Amane's as a child, & willing to come back, knowing his death at Amane's hands is inevitable.

WE now know, Tsukasa has ONLY COME BACK, NOW, this time, in order to once again OFFER HIMSELF as a sacrifice for AMANE'S WISH. However, Amane, at this point in the manga-- volume 7-- doesn't seem to know Tsukasa's plan.

I think at this point, Amane is curious. Tsukasa escaped, Tsukasa is doing a lot of things. Maybe he's doing more specific and involved things than he ever has. Maybe Amane is curious what Tsukasa really... wants to do. Why can't they both be out, messing around, playing?

I don't personally think Amane never quelled Tsukasa out of an inability to OR a fear of him-- we regularly see him thrash, grab, throttle, scream at Tsukasa, we also see him nonchalantly peel the cuddly & clingy Tsukasa off of him without issue. He very clearly isn't actually afraid of being hurt by Tsukasa, and he DEFINITELY isn't afraid of telling Tsukasa what to do! I think Amane ALLOWED Tsukasa this freedom Tsukasa was suddenly inexplicably fighting for.

Picture Perfect rolls around, & Amane & Tsukasa are now blatantly working together, rather than the sloppy & makeshift playsession of Hell of Mirrors. Tsukasa created a circumstance, Amane collaborates with him. The goal of Picture Perfect is to permanently freeze Nene-chan in a painting, to functionally imprison her.

What Amane attempts to do to Nene-chan is not unlike what he had done to Tsukasa, in his boundary. In the name of "keeping you safe" or "saving you", Amane usurps their will, seeks to overtake their autonomy. It's easy to understand why Tsukasa thought this solution might be appealing to Amane... if he wanted to, he could keep Nene-chan in a kind of blind stasis.

I think Nene-chan makes Amane reflect on this impulse of his. I think Amane is scared to see himself... take this sort of path, all over again, with a living girl... with a girl with so much passion, optimism, so much possibility for herself....

.... but I also honestly think... right now anyway... that Amane cannot trust Tsukasa to run his own life. That unlike Nene-chan, Tsukasa had no dream for his future, no wish to grow up, go to college, get married, etc. All he ever wanted was to see Amane, to learn about him, to see to it Amane had a happy future, or at least... had whatever he wanted, whatever that was.... even if what Amane wanted was to throw away his future.

Amane pivots into attempting to add life to Nene-chan's lifespan, something he couldn't have possibly done for Tsukasa.

Now.... I think a terrible sort of miscommunication, misunderstanding... occurs, here, at the far shore. It's still up in the air, but I want to do my best to propose the situation...

Here, Tsukasa once again affirms to Amane that he loved the shinjuu. Tsukasa, who gave up on his life multiple times-- who never seemed eager to live-- relates to Nene-chan's desire to die in the far shore, to forego her future, for Amane.

Tsukasa prods Amane to think about repeating his act of destruction, to once again erase Tsukasa's existence. Amane is seduced by the suggestion, for this moment. It is appealing to him, intoxicating.

Amane understands doing this, would mean dismembering Tsukasa with his own hands.

Tsukasa is surprised Amane apparently already 'knew' about this, had thought about it... even if in the back of his mind. Amane was destroying yorishiro this whole time. Why did he allow that? Perhaps... it was a self-destructive urge of a sort?

I think Tsukasa's glee, his acceptance, his urging for another dose, is.... something Amane is trying to understand.

At this point, I think Amane has every question in his heart: Did Tsukasa understand why Amane killed him? Did he understand the meaning of the gesture? Does he finally understand Amane's love for him? Amane threw away his entire future for Tsukasa. He was deeply devoted to him, & he attempted to show that devotion in the form of the shinjuu. Amane said something like, "if you have no future, then I won't, either. If you don't want to live, then I refuse to live on. I'm going to keep us together, forever; you can't ever leave me. I won't allow my self to have a future without you." with his actions. Amane can't say things with his words, typically. He is really... awful at words.

What could "do it right" mean? Amane was willing to just have Teru blast him to bits in the Far Shore, so obviously, he doesn't truly value his existence, even now. He is our self-destruction boy.

But perhaps Tsukasa and Amane could simply perform shinjuu pt2, but this time, Amane knows explicitly that Tsukasa loves it, loves him, & maybe even this time, Amane can be sure Tsukasa understands what it means, to sink into oblivion together. To not force it on Tsukasa this time-- but-- to have his consent, to both be self-aware, mutually. The commitment, the devotion he attempted to convey... Maybe!!!! MAYBE some tiny part of Amane THOUGHT that was what happened, in the Far Shore. Maybe he thought he could blast himself to oblivion with an elated, beloved Tsukasa who 'gets it', & save Nene-chan's life & future. Maybe HE could finally 'do it right'!

I think at this point... Amane doesn't know why Tsukasa is doing anything. But I don't think that is bleak, I think that is actually exciting.

There is so much left unsaid between them... I think, for a moment, Amane has a shred of hope, that he could learn something new about Tsukasa.... who he's been unable to understand, or do anything for. Tsukasa, who asks for nothing... Tsukasa, who only tries to die again & again, who can't seem to UNDERSTAND, SEE Amane's love for him. Who Amane can't communicate a thing to.

Buuut... I think this flicker of curiosity, hope, the dream of being seen, understood, of communicating together finally, is why Amane is now flipping out, deeply upset & distraught by Tsukasa's same insistence as ever in his own lack of value.

I think that is why Amane is snapping at Tsukasa, saying "I hate you". He feels like Tsukasa is rejecting him, won't let them be together... doesn't WANT to be together! Tsukasa is here, again seemingly only wanting to die, wanting to leave him BEHIND... this time! Is that "doing it right", actually? It's "right" to be separated? You can understand Amane's unbridled agony.... how it turns into pure anger.

Amane's feelings failed to reach his otouto!!! this whole time, I really think Amane feared that, more than anything.

His EXISTENCE-- AS HANAKO-- an existence HE ties exclusively to being with respect to his crime-- rendered meaningless! Confirmed to mean nothing! Tsukasa wants to disappear, and that's that.

The entire point of the shinjuu was missed! His gesture of devotion & love-- was nothing, the past decades enshrining him-- was nothing. Tsukasa thinks you hate him. He's thought you hate him this whole time. You're so cartoonishly far from sharing the beautiful consummation of a second shinjuu together.

You can understand then how the sense of rejection, being misunderstood, contorts in Amane's poor frenzied brain until it becomes his own violently-spat rejection-- "I get it now, you're not even REALLY my brother!!! You're fake!! My little brother wouldn't do this to me!!!! You're not my Tsukasa!!! you CAN'T be!!!"

a very pathetic & childish response to rejection. "You can't reject me-- you're not even REAL! You rejecting me doesn't even mean anything!!! I'll reject your entire existence!!!" oh, Amane....

You can understand how Tsukasa simply watches the response... I think the intensity of it is interesting.

For a boy who likely once doubled down so hard on Tsukasa's authenticity.... it's an extreme 180. It's just a response to pain.

I think.... maybe we now, next, will explore, "what if Amane didn't do the shinjuu at all? What if Tsukasa simply disappeared for good, & Amane was left behind?" in a new timeline. This rejection of Tsukasa is an intense culmination of everything thus far... Amane's built-up curiosity, hope, feeling baited & seduced into imagining something satisfying, only to fall flat on his face. This timeline showed us the insurmountable extent of Tsukasa's belief in his lack of value, a belief so strong Amane cannot pierce it, not even if Tsukasa awakens adorned in silk in a bed of sakura blossoms.

.... but I can't pity Amane too much, because I swear to GOD if you'd only SAY "I love you", he would understand that. I'm sorry Tsukasa can't understand your abstract poetic gestures, Amane!!!!!!!! LOOK, IT'S HARD FOR NENE-CHAN TO UNDERSTAND THEM AS WELL--!

But she's a romance-loving cumrotted girl, she's better at this than Tsutsu.... she can miraculously kind of see through the gestures like , trying to murder another girl for her sake. it's very impressive of Nene-chan... but I think Tsukasa-chan needs you to... like, say it, very directly, okay!! We can't do the indirect stuff!!! I promise your otouto loves you, if you'd only do something like actually beg him to stay with you!!!!! But Amane isn't honest enough to do thaaaat....

in any event, as always, it's very hypocritical of Amane, who continuously keeps trying to leave Nene-chan behind, which often makes her feel rejected or confused. Why is Hanako always trying to leave her?

well, because he believes she couldn't have a happy or fulfilling life with him, who can't offer her anything she wants.

I'm sure Tsukasa feels the same way, Amane! I don't know what he thinks he can do for you! Aren't you better off without him?

Please-- Nene-chan... you have to help them. She has to see how much Amane needs Tsukasa, for herself... then, even if the Yugi can't tell each other clearly, she can tell them herself.

[minusgangtime]

Scientist log 3:

Nene: after some time pressing pico,I learned he had some friends he held dear,despite his protest,he couldn’t stop me. Though a road block I encountered was the fact his friend,nene,was dead,apparently having died from suicide,fucking weakly,it was about time I’d make her useful. Now,it was going to be hard to experiment on a corpse,but I got a idea and sent it to my assistant,we filled the inside of her body with electric wires and covered her exposed flesh with metal and bandages,and when we got the electricity going,like a Frankenstein,she awoke! Honestly,this is one of my proudest achievements,she didn’t look very happy but I don’t care.

Darnell: Darnell,picos friend that was still alive,was much easier to find,but harder to capture,he put up a good fight but I was able to detain him,my assistant filled his bloodstream with electric volts with a wire in his back,meaning he had the power of electricity,typically he starts to spark when he sees something that he hates,I checked to see and yep,definitely the case,though I must say..it’s odd how he dosent spark when seeing my assistant,odd,he SHOULD hate her..I wonder why..

-mod Shelby

(Ngl this scientist is very cold O_O")

[amyyythestarry]

Random Tsumitsu aus!

Childhood friends to lovers au, they met when they were 4 in a park during summer, then when school started they figured out they go to the same school and hung out 24/7. They confess to each other at the same time on Valentines Day at 13 years old.

Hospital au, Tsukasa has an unknown illness and Mitsuba has a heart disease. Tsukasa is destined to die before Mitsuba but Mitsuba doesn’t want to see him go. A bunch of angst, plot twist: partner suicide. ( I love hospital romance aus, also Amane is alr dead 😬 )

This is an au I have thought about for a long while and it’s not necessarily only a Tsumitsu but I’m gonna add it. Mental hospital/Asylum au, although there are still all the paranormal themes, Tsukasa’s a supernatural and Mitsuba is an original-born supernatural, not at first but that’s a lot of lore I can’t rn. I’ll prob talk abt this au again.

Haunted house au, Tsukasa and Mitsuba are invited to a school party by Nanamine Sakura, but the host ( Sakura ) isn’t here and the house is definitely haunted. It’s a party containing only the main characters + ocs Ig and maybe not necessarily Tsumitsu only but it’s implied.

Another haunted house au, but Tsukasa is an undercover detective and Mitsuba is the person he’s secretly interrogating abt the house across the street in Mitsuba’s neighborhood that used to be his that obviously has some paranormal activity going on.

College au. Mitsuba’s waiting at the campus coffee shop for his friend Kou, but gets bored and orders a mocha latte but internally questions why the waiter kinda cute ( ‘Not as cute as me but good enough’ - Mitsu ), he has to get the waiter’s name ( He does ).

High school drama au. There’s a mini school play and Tsu and Mitsu being apart of it ( Bc they’re theater kids/apart of the theater club ), and they very coincidentally get the role of a background gay couple.

Band/band club au. Idk what to say with this one, imagine it tho.

Idol au. Mitsu’s the assistant of singers Aoi and Nene, is heading to Aoi and Nene’s place in the con but stumbled upon another hall of a very popular singer named Tsukasa who has the most beautiful singing voice and amazing outfit and is just extremely cool. Mitsuba wants to be friends with him so bad but he doesn’t think it’s his place to stand right by a popular idol.

Superhero au. Idk what to say abt this one either. Imagine.

Christmas au, secret Santa. Just imagine… ( I’m running out of ideas but this is a spam )

Fashion designer au. Tsukasa is a fashion designer working for model Mitsuba.

Beauty and Beast/Hanahaki au. Mitsuba ventures into a forest to find his missing brother but stumbles upon a castle instead, a castle with a cursed spirit in it. He later finds out in order to bring the corpse back to life, he has to get the young damaged spirit to love again. To pull the needles and patch the holes in the boy’s heart.

Dead plate au? Mitsuba’s Vincent and Tsukasa’s Rody ( I chose Mitsuba as Vince since both of them are cannibals ).

Twister, or truth of dare, or friends locking them in the closet, or nerd and popular au? ( Just put a whole bunch of cliches together )

That’s it. I rushed this bc I had to think of something.

Tsumitsu Tuesday! :))

[steropeshu]

Theory: What if Tsukasa was a good guy?

All right, first time that I’m throwing out a theory, (with the assistance of @trish-chan​!) so forgive me if I’m tripping on my words. Okay, so, theory time. (Also, to avoid confusion, I call No.7 by Hanako, and pre-death by Amane)

When I say Tsukasa was a good guy, I mean as in a good bro before he died. I think the current consensus is that Tsukasa was the one abusing Amane (theorized to be in varying degrees…), but what if he wasn’t the one behind it? What if Tsukasa ended up becoming corrupted or messed up in some way?

This ended up really really long, so the whole this is under the cut...

First, let’s focus on how they were alive. What was their relationship like? Well, we know they were close, at least. There’s this one bit in the Tanabata arc where little Amane says that Tsukasa will get violent if interrupted.

However, in the official translations it says that he’ll throw a fit. Y’know, like an excitable little kid.

It also says that he’s playing katanuki, and he LOVES katanuki, so we can assume he wouldn’t want to be interrupted. (Also, Hanako loves katanuki too!)

But other than that, we don’t really see them being brothers in the past, do we. Right…?

WRONG! Something I completely overlooked before were the volume sleeve illustrations.

Also, in this (^) illustration, I’d like to point out that the Tsukasa’s radio and Hanako’s kokeshi doll are sitting on the chest of drawers!

Something to note in these illustrations (and also the Tanabata arc) is that Amane is happy and there are no signs of bruising anywhere either. So at least as little kids, no form of abuse is present.

Also, something else I noticed:

He says that “WE believe it’s real.” Tsuchigomori said that he doesn’t have friends, and he’s obviously not referring to Tsuchigomori here. Tsukasa is the only one left he could be referring to in this “we”. They both were enthusiastic about this rock that supposedly fell from the sky, ever since they were four.

I feel like I’m grasping at straws in this part, but why would Amane include a third party unless they were important? Especially when it comes to something so sentimental to him.

Next, we have the picture from the Kamome school orientation.

Nothing here either. Just the two holding hands, and Amane is still bright-eyed. Note that they are alone. We know the Minamoto siblings live alone, but Mitsuba and Nene both have parents with them. The Yugi twins don’t. Another theory was that Amane’s parents were abusing him and they just favored Tsukasa, but this can allow us to presumably scratch that.

So that means any harm to Amane happened somewhere between here and his death. So, let’s make a time frame, hmm? We know Amane died around age 13. What age is he here…? Well we know he just entered Middle school, the first level Kamome provides for. What age…

Wow. That lines up perfectly.

This leads into the next major part of the theory.

We all know that Kamome is incredibly “haunted.” Filled to the brim with supernaturals. So, what if these two got caught up in supernatural business and things went south?

Originally this was a theory on proving Tsukasa wasn’t the one abusing Amane, but now I’m possibly considering that it was him. However, he wasn’t fully there, or something caused him to go mad.

In this part, Hanako is reciting a part of Mori Ogai’s “Takasebune”. (Credit to  @nanabansama​ for finding that out!) In the story, a man is being exiled for a crime he committed. He seems kind so the police escort is wondering what he did. Turns out, he and his little brother were orphaned when they were young. At some point after growing up and working together, his brother fell ill. He came home one day to find out that his brother tried to kill himself so he wouldn’t be a burden. The man had finished the job for his brother, essentially putting him out of his misery.

We can draw some parallels to Hanako from this.

The man has a little brother that he killed

Absence of parents, this makes it likely that Hanako and Tsukasa’s parents are dead.

The man is being punished for what he’s done and is fully accepting of what has to happen to him as a consequence. In the man’s case, being exiled, and in Hanako’s case, being mediator for human and supernatural relations.

Perhaps from this we can draw that Hanako killed Tsukasa to put him out of his misery.

(Also, something really interesting, Ogai is spelled 鴎外. 鴎 is pronounced “Ou”, however alone it is pronounced “KAMOME”! While we’re on the subject, kamome means seagull. I had no idea why the school would be named that, but I would not be surprised if this were the reason!)

@daikon-senpai​ has pointed out that we can see a reoccurring “hole” in Hanako’s stomach. There’s a high likeliness that he killed himself after killing Tsukasa.

There’s a traditional method of suicide called seppuku, where one would slit their stomach to bleed out (though they would usually have someone cut their neck for efficiency and to minimize suffering). One of the reasons one would commit seppuku were if someone committed a crime or had brought shame on themselves. Both of which would be a likely reason Amane would have killed himself, and he even still carries intense guilt now as Hanako.

[UPDATE: I had made a post about how it appears that Hanako pulls his knife out from his stomach, something absent from the anime. Some of the earlier instances can look like he’s pulling out from his gakuran, so here’s a more obvious example:

@shweshishweh​ and @spades-queen​ have additionally pointed out that in some official art Hanako is depicted with a bandage over his stomach and Tsukasa with a bandage over his heart (or a heart that is damaged, as shown in the Valentine’s Day art).

With this information, not only can we assume Hanako died from wounds on his stomach, but also that Tsukasa likely died from an injury to his heart.

END OF UPDATE]

Speaking of guilt-

It’s believed that when Hanako cries while confronting Tsukasa, he’s afraid because he’s with his abuser again. I doubt this is true at all. He hasn’t cried since the Mitsuba Arc, though he still locks up briefly.

Obviously Hanako holds a ton of guilt from what he did to Tsukasa, so of course he would freeze up when the dude comes out of no where and is like, “Long time no see!!” He’s being confronted with what he did, front and center. No amount of jokes can distract him from it. There’s no avoiding it. After Tsukasa had entered the picture for a while, Hanako stops reacting so strongly, as he’s more prepared for it. (This was pointed out to me by @trish-chan​!)

It’s also possible that Tsukasa is acting the messed-up way he was before he died, and Hanako is realizing that death really didn’t free him from it. He’s mortified at what’s happened to his brother.

Another thing she’s pointed out was that currently, Tsukasa hasn’t hurt Hanako. Not physically, at least. If he was the one hurting him then, why not now? It’s not like he’s hiding being violent in front of people. Let’s see… he turned Mitsuba into a monstrosity, nearly killed Kou, ripped out No. 3’s heart, totally would have turned Nene into a bloody pulp, killed the pufferfish into a bloody mess, and he’s finger painted with blood (who knows where that came from) among various other psychotic things.

Last thing I have here is a kind of lose connection, but worth including, nonetheless.

Only Tsukasa and No. 6 are creepy black mokke. I can’t bring myself to believe that AidaIro would do that for no reason. I wouldn’t question it if it were only Tsukasa, but now No. 6 is in the mix.

This actually made me think of possible connections that Tsukasa has to No. 6. After all, who has a giant gaping hole to the far shore and has messed with someone’s head so hard they basically tried to murder their childhood friend? Is it possible that No. 6 did something to Tsukasa, for whatever reason?

We don’t know enough about No. 6 currently to really be conclusive about this, though. Could both of them been corrupted somehow?

UPDATE ON THIS PART: Since I’ve first posted this, more chapters with No. 6, or Shinigami, have been released. While I have even more doubts that he and Tsukasa have any direct connection than before, I still think there are some shared aspects. Sumire’s seal is probably the most major revelation, now that it’s pretty much confirmed that Tsukasa is a yorishiro. If we assume Tsukasa is Hanako’s yorishiro, then that’s something in common with Sumire and Shinigami. But then wouldn’t Hanako be a black mokke?

This makes me think that that particular connection isn’t the shared aspect Tsukasa and Shinigami have. Perhaps it’s just something that hasn’t been revealed yet (or I haven’t picked up on lol). Something else interesting of note is the fact that Tsukasa has been completely absent this entire arc. His only sort-of presence is through Natsuhiko, who we still don’t know the motives of. We also don’t know how the Tsukasa+Sakura+Natsuhiko+Mitsuba quartet have been dealing with the Severance.

So, there are a lot of questions yet to be answered so I’m not dismissing this idea yet.

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So, in a nutshell, this theory is: Hanako and Tsukasa were good brothers, until they got caught up with supernaturals after entering Kamome. This may have caused Tsukasa to go crazy, and hurt Amane at the same time. This leads to Amane killing Tsukasa. Possibly out of self-defense or putting him out his misery. Following this, Amane kills himself. ~50 years later, present Kamome Academy. Tsukasa makes his way to the near shore and either gets corrupted or was never freed from whatever ailed him when he was alive at the school.

I’m realizing now that this would also explain this:

“Tsukasa is not himself. I know that. So I forgive it.” But we all know that Amane/Hanako is too cryptic and secretive to actually say that.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winter 2020 Anime Overview: Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

Ok, so let’s get this out of the way first, 1. I adore this story so much and 2. Toilet Bound Hanako-kun has a horrible, horrible English title that is not actually at all representative of the story’s content and I have no idea what happened when it came to the team choosing that name. To the average English-speaking viewer/reader, this name 100% implies gross stuff and bathroom humor, and there is none in this show. 

A Japanese reader on the other hand, would be more likely to recognize the name Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun as a spin on the classic ghost story “Hanako-san of the Toilet” only A BOY THIS TIME WHHHHA?” Basically, the story goes that a girl named Hanako in a red skirt haunts girls’ bathrooms in Japanese schools and if you knock on the third stall and call “Hanako-san” three times, she’ll appear. She might grant you a wish or pull you into Hell or something else, it varies.

(Her Wikipedia image, aww.)

Anyway, I dunno why the English title didn’t at least go with “Toilet Ghost Hanako-kun” or something that would have gotten the premise across even a  little better (HE NOT TECHNICALLY BOUND BY THE TOILET EVEN, HE CAN GO ANYWHERE IN THE SCHOOL GROUNDS THE BATHROOM IS JUST HIS HOME BASE), but our boy Hanako haunting the girl’s bathroom only leads to broad jokes about our heroine being tasked with cleaning the bathroom and “dude you really shouldn’t be in here” comments, it’s pretty incidental. 

Now that THAT’S out of the way, let’s talk about my LOVE FOR THIS STORY

Hanako-kun tells the story of a “regular” high school girl named Nene Yashiro, the mischievous and mysterious school ghost she befriends, and all the other weird monsters, exorcists, spirits and curses they encounter. It’s got a gorgeous, colorful bold aesthetic and art style that combines gothic and cute! It has a great mix of humor, intrigue, angst and fantasy action. basically if you love ghosts, monsters, Japanese mythology and legends, supernatural-human relationships, supernaturally fueled angst and drama, stories about trying to fix an unfair system the world has set up, wistful romance, a good shoujo manga with a Lot of Feelings (yes this is a shonen technically I’ll explain that later), weirdo dorks becoming friends AND MUCH MORE...this story will have something that will resonate with you. It’s got a lot going on, and it’s a ton of fun.

Hanako-kun is really one of those surprising stories that fits right into a hole in my story-loving heart I didn’t realize was still there, or that I’d actually been carrying since childhood. I love ghosts, see, and have since I was a kid!!! I knew this, but I kinda forgot how intensely I love them until this show reminded me again??? That’s because regular ghost stories/mysteries/whatever- I like them, but they don’t quite do it for me in the way more character-driven ones exploring the nature of being a ghost and humans and ghosts trying understand each other etc do. Stuff that really gets into the tragedy AND the fun fantasy aspect of ghosts, and plays the long game with it- and Hanako-kun scratches that itch perfectly.

Getting a little bit deeper into the premise of Hanako-kun, Nene is a very brave and sweet but not-all-that-bright girl (or, to put it more bluntly, she’s an idiot in the best way) who has a lot of romantic fantasies and insecurities and is VERY focused on them. After hearing a rumor at school that “Hanako-san of the bathroom” will grant wishes, she wishes to be able to confess to her crush and finds out its actually a weird ghost boy her age named Hanako haunting the bathroom! A lot of things happen, and she ends up cursed and bound to Hanako-kun, but also ends up slowly forming a friendship. 

Turns out Hanako is the ghost in charge of the “seven mysteries/wonders” aka seven powerful supernatural entities that haunt this school (he’s number seven). These apparitions only supposed to terrorize students a LITTLE, because apparitions need to have rumors spread about them to remain in the human world.

(‘HAVE YOU HEARD?’ Oh hey shadow girls from Utena see you’ve moved to a new school.)

The rumors also generally dictate how powerful and dangerous the apparitions actually are- but SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS is changing the rumors around the school and making the apparitions go berserk and actually harm humans. So Hanako needs a human assistant to change the rumors and help him calm and seal the apparitions! That’s where Nene comes in.

Hanako himself is a very fun character- he’s very chaotic and revels in his whole “ gremlin ghost” persona, and is upfront about being a bit of an asshole. BUT he also makes his kindness, often good intentions and the fact he’ll have his friends back when it counts obvious from the beginning. B U T! He’s also got darkness and hidden depths to explore, and a lot of his persona is affected and masks deeper issues! 

Our ghost boy is genuinely A TAD unstable deep down (as in he straight up has several untreated PTSD symptoms and that’s as disastrous as you’d expect) and packing some serious tragic backstory, as you might expect from a kid who died young and carries around a butcher’s knife, and it’s gonna come back to bite him and and all who care about him hard. 

 Especially when an overly enthusiastic exorcist named Kou Minamoto shows up! Kou is another one who’s very dumb and very good, a wannabe-shonen-protag with a heart of gold and strong sensitive, domestic side. He rounds out our main trio. Also he gets a tragic, emotionally intense relationship with yet another ghost boy that sings to my heart.

(Yes Hanako’s helping Nene to do the thing)

You may be able to tell, this story has INTENSE good-shoujo vibes despite technically being a shonen in a way that I love- it’s story very driven by big emotions, a variety of fucked up and tragically complex relationships, teen hormones running wild, etc, and it’s just delicious. 

Nene is the normal-person-audience-surrogate-girl in a way that is more common for a shoujo protag, and the way her emotional connections to everyone, her sweeping romantic fantasies and her interiority are consistently in focus when she’s there- yeah, she’s definitely a plucky shoujo protag, 100%. And I’m all about that!!!

 One thing I especially appreciate (though this comes across more strongly in the manga than the anime thanks to the anime rearranging things) is when Nene finds out about Hanako’s Heavy Baggage, she actually takes some time to herself to consider whether she can handle dealing with someone with these intense issues as a kid who’s never encountered stuff like this before- it’s not assumed by the story that the Sweet Girl is Obligated to help the Tragic Boy. I go into more detail about this part in this part here, but it’s that kind of attention to Nene’s needs that makes her role in the story work. Hanako and Nene and everyone’s struggles to get the hang of and properly navigate honest communication and mutual support in relationships are often really great and real-feeling

The story has a lot more things I love packed in to it- a dorky-but-still-deeply-unsettling villain gang who’s screwed up interactions are just as fun as our protagonists, yokai, A CURSED LIBRARY, some great ladies in addition to Nene, meditations on the nature of life, death, themes about fighting nihilism, and so on...I could seriously go on forever. It’s good stuff, and there’s lots of good weird supernaturals to meet.

The story’s also got tons of intrigue! The overarching plot and Hanako’s Mysterious Past is still in the process of unfolding, but it’s been great drama every step of the way! As mentioned before, the story also really relies on funny character dynamics, interaction and development to carry the whole thing and balance the drama.

The anime itself does have some pacing issues bc they crammed a lot into the first season and rearranged some stuff- an entire two chapter arc was skipped and was unlikely to be covered in the anime and some parts are noticeably rushed. I still really like the anime and it’s a solid adaptation. I love how much of the manga’s detailed aesthetic it managed to keep as well as the amazing voice acting and it made a few small but important additions. But there are some notable bumps- of course this just led me to go binge the manga (up to volume 12 is legally available digitally) and BOY DO I NOW LOVE THIS STORY EVEN MORE. 

Now obviously, just because it is Exactly My Shit in a lot of ways doesn’t mean Hanako-kun is the much quested for “unproblematic fave”, there’s several caveats you should probs be aware of- its shoujo vibes also mean some classic shoujo ~Problematic tropes~ and a couple shounen ones. 

THE LIST:

-Just as a general content overview thing: if this wasn’t clear the show deals heavily with death, body horror and other horror aspects. There’s heavily implied suicide and abuse and so on- as mentioned, the main character is traumatized and shows a lot of symptoms of PTSD, and Nene has to struggle to navigate her relationship with him because of this, as does Kou.

-Hanako himself has the whole ~loveable pervert~ and ~slightly possessive shoujo bad boy~ schtick going as part of his mischevious persona. In the anime so far, he never actually gropes or comments on not-in-his-naughty-mags-people’s breasts or anything of that level thankfully, but he’s very flirty, clingy, will loudly bring up porn, fond of the ol’ *says something that purposefully sounds sexually possessive* HAHAHA U THOUGHT I MEANT SOMETHING DIRTY RIGHT LOL ACTUALLY I DIDN’T.”

(My unnecessary ‘this part is kinda interesting!’ ramble: Nene always lists “sexual harassment” among Hanako’s flaws (she loves listing them), but doesn’t get visibly uncomfortable with his flirtiness or seem to mind it most times, which at least makes the whole thing more tolerable for me.

(since she doesn’t seem to mind that part and its clear he does it bc of actual affection for her, it’s actually p. cute how huggy he is.)

 The one time it does cross the line and genuinely upset her, it’s treated seriously, Hanako is genuinely regretful and apologizes. That’s one of my fave moments in the story and the way it’s handled is well done.

 This incident that he’s honestly pretty socially clueless as kid who died young and a lot of his bravado is to cover that up and keep people at a distance- this is a trope into itself that can use unpacking but I do at least appreciate that this is a considered character trait that’s part of his whole messed up package rather than something that thrown in there Just to Be a Fanservice Trope. (Especially since the manga confirms he never acted particularly pervy while alive, further cementing this is an affected persona). 

-There’s a running gag around Nene’s insecurity over her thick ‘daikon shaped’ ankles and boys treating her badly for it. 

One one hand, her body image issues are relatable, on the other, it feels cruel and annoying just how much the show finds ways to bring it up and humiliate her over and over again.

(My unnecessary “this is part is kinda interesting” ramble:The one thing i did realize that despite bringing it up constantly, we at least have no “i’m going to do this to lose weight” or “go on a diet” rhetoric,like this is just part of Nene’s body type and she knows she can’t change it? Which is kinda interesting. And I’ve spotted what might be foreshadowing something plot relevant’s going to happen with her ankles (I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT GOD I PUT NOTHING PAST THIS STORY) so uh yeah??? either way it’s not good tho)

-”Obsessive and twisted love” is a running theme in this story, and while it’s generally acknowledged as unhealthy, it can be played for comedy in a way that could make viewers/readers uncomfortable. There’s a couple characters who’s entire thing so far is “obsessively in love with this one person” (and the one only focused on in the manga so far is one of the least interesting characters tbh ugh)

-The antagonist of the show is a member of a main character’s family, and the manner he acts towards pretty much everyone, including (and really especially) his family member,  verges on seductive. This is presented as deliberately unsettling and treated as a marker of how unstable and scary he is- and though the backstory between them hasn’t been fully delved into, it’s pretty much all but confirmed he abused this family member physically and emotionally.

-The story has like, A LOT of queer subtext and pretty-heavy queer coding for one character especially, but the few times queerness blatantly comes up in the story, it’s played as a joke in the “haha that’d be kinda weird” way (aside from the rando boys who have a crush on Teru, handled pretty neutrally). It’s not as malicious as a lot of animanga can get (ONE MANGA INCIDENT ASIDE), but it’s something to Be Aware Of, and it makes it clear we’re unlikely to see subtext rise to text and makes some moments feel baity.

-And probably more I might have missed! The manga also has Some Shit in addition all the Good Shit that hasn’t been adapted yet, an early arc has Hanako crossing a serious line etc. 

BUT despite how messy it is, I think it’s clear I have a lot of love for this story. In fact, I wouldn’t trade away a good chunk of its messiness (DEFINITELY SOME JUST NOT ALL), it kinda works for the characters and works in the “this story really feed my inner teen” way. Some of the trashy parts are exactly My Trash, basically. 

So, I knew I’d ramble on for a while when I talked about his show, but if you’ve read this far, thanks, and I hope that means you’re gonna check out and maybe enjoy this story, bc i need more people to join me in Hanako Hell.

[artloungeofhako]

Name: Fujioka Shiori (First name means "poem")

Personality:

Social introvert. Can usually be mistaken as extrovert because of her good social skills and charm towards people.

Bubbly, polite, and dynamic towards general people; is usually serious, serene, and edgy/dark humorist around friends.

Likes psychology and is good at reading people (even apparitions!?)

Good at difficult things, hopeless at some practical things

Hobbies:

Reading books of interest (is usually bored with textbook or required book reading/assignment)

Loves to draw and experiment with creativity

Videogames when she has time

Studying and collecting occult things

Being a huge nerd

What's your favorite snack?

Blueberry cheesecake. Is that a snack?

What's your biggest concern lately?

That Nene would not liken her fate to mine.

Role in the main story (if anime only, do not read; may contain spoilers):

Shiori was the student assistant of Hanako before Nene. They were incredibly close. As most of Hanako's past assistants, Shiori fell in love with Hanako too, but Hanako never took her seriously because he pressumed Shiori was just friendly towards other people and apparitions. Hanako never cared who died anyway. For him, granting the summoner's wish is his job to make his/her life happy until s/he has to leave.

Her role in the story does not revolve around love and romance. Hanako knew from the very start that everyone who can summon him will die nearly soon. However, due to weird circumstance, Shiori never died even though she was only given last 6months as her lifespan from the time she met Hanako. The reason? Only Shiori knows. She never told Hanako. And ever since their bond had broken after 6months of contract, she was never able to see Hanako or any apparition again. When Shiori saw Nene, she got suspicious that maybe she was Hanako's new partner, so she befriended her to guide her from afar, not touching Hanako and her's past. She only claims to know a lot about Hanako from the books she had read. Every advice she gives Nene actually works and Nene has always been grateful for her guidance. Weirdly enough, Hanako can never see her even if she exists or even if they walked past each other, same as her.

Theories how she survived?

1. She became the 8th mystery. Oh, has she? And how? (It has been hinted in the OP Song)

2. She never had those key pin on her hair and that earrings while she was with Hanako. Where did she get those? WHO gave those??

3. Only people to whom Hanako cared about will die. The stronger the attachment of the Mystery, the stronger the push towards the other side. Since Hanako never cared about Shiori unlike he did to Nene, maybe that's a possible answer?

4. If ever you have read this far, any theory you can generate?

Answer:

3 days before the last day of Shiori's life, she wished that she can live forever. She was in denial towards death since she has a lot of things she wants to do yet. Knowing she'll die soon and only at the age 15 hurts her a lot that she screamed at the rooftop that she wants to be immortal no matter what the consequence is. Tsukasa, then, appeared from Shiori's back and whispered,

"You called??" with his psychopath face.

Shiori knew she fucked up! She knows how scary Tsukasa is and what he does in exchange for a wish. He uses the summoner's weakness for a price.

Yes. Shiori was technically alive, but in the world and shore order, if you had less than a week to live, you are considered "dead". Thus, Tsukasa appearing to her as someone who grants the wishes of the dead. Tsukasa laughed maniacally.

"You said you'll never need my help? I'm the ONLY one who cares about you", Tsukasa goes closer to Shiori and touched her lips.

"This will be the price you will pay. See? Hanako never cared enough for you to even find a way to save you."

Shiori wanted to manipulate Tsukasa into escaping, but in just a matter of seconds, Tsukasa pushed Shiori from the rooftop to the school ground.

*thud*

"Am I dead? Am I alive? Hanako..."

Shiori woke up from being pushed. She checked herself for injuries, it was a miracle she's still alive. She noticed that she now has these irremovable right earring and key hairpin. Every time she tries to remove them, she gets electric shocks that burn like hell. She wanted to remove them because she thought those were just two of Tsukasa's pranks, but it seems like this wasn't one of those jokes. She cannot remember what Tsukasa said about the price.

She lived her last 2 days normally after that incident, keeping in mind that maybe something might still change.

The day of her designated death:

Painful flashbacks occured in her head like jolts of lightning. This was the worst headache of her life!

Everything Tsukasa said from the rooftop before pushing her down echoed,

"The price of eternity may sound clichè, but I'm just being kind to you like I always do~ right?"

"First and foremost, you will NEVER see Hanako ever again~" Tsukasa hopped of joy.

"No one will ever love you as MUCH as I DO. This is for choosing Amane over me. Every time you love someone—platonically or romantically—they will commit suicide." Tsukasa laughed loudly as if he was really entertained.

"That's also not it~ You will not be able to give birth no matter how much you try. You are NOT allowed to be too close to anyone."

"This may sound shallow, but Shiori... wasn't that your ultimate dream? Your hopeless romantic self... you won't be able to take it! HAHAHAHA."

"This key and earring will symbolize you being bound to me for eternity.

The key symbolizes your wish being granted, and the earring will be the symbol for your punishment. Ah, living for eternity~ Amane and I are only bound here on earth right now to atone for our sins. Once we're good, we can finally be free!! However, look at you..." Tsukasa held her right cheek looking at her as if she was some pity patty kid, "You will be forever bound here on earth, experiencing the pain of being left alone... over and over again as your loved ones will die sooner, one after the other. How exciting~" Tsukasa squealed like a kid.

"Jokes on Amane, though. I am here to disrupt the order of the Seven Wonders. I'm not here to atone for my sins." Tsukasa slyly smiled.

"Sooo..." Tsukasa put his arm on Shiori, "How about be the 8th Mystery for me?"

And that was the end of the painful flashbacks in Shiori's head.

Hanako never visited her on her last day.

She never saw him the next day, but hey at least, she was alive like she wanted to be. She does not feel happy, though. She does not know what happiness is anymore.

All she can think of is Hanako thinking she's already dead for disappearing so sudden. She never felt betrayed. Why did she have to be bound with Tsukasa? And the bad thing about this is she cannot see apparitions anymore because she's now a "normal" human. She cannot have any access or source as to how to defy Tsukasa's punishment for her selfishness.

She is now bound to suffer.

[evergreen-dryad]

Title of your WIP: the witch wins in this one

Genre: Fairytale Retelling, Romance, Fantasy (Mermaids - focuses quite heavily on their world/biology)

Trigger Warnings: (none of these show up in the WIP early on) mentioned death of a character via suicide, merfolk culture dissonance on mainly sex & food, magical racism (afaik)

Stage of writing process: first draft, approx 1/4 through

Synopsis: Three days to win over the Prince’s heart, and a human soul for herself. Her heart soars at the thought, reminding her when the pain and soreness in her legs gets too much. When everything of the land and dry air gets too much. Except -- the witch’s actions seem to be getting more and more confusing, and the Prince isn’t paying that much attention to her -- his little brother is.

Character information: 

Nene - the Little Mermaid in this tale. She falls in love at first sight with the human prince that embodies what she has romanticised humans as. Brave but impulsive, she goes to the rumoured Sea Witch to let her live with the Prince, so she can at least understand him more after a traumatising event at sea where he nearly drowns.

Hanako - the Sea Witch. He is playful and acts flippant. He tries to dissuade Nene from taking a magical solution to her problem, but as she insists he makes a deal with her: three days to live on the Near Shore of the humans and of terra firma. If she doesn’t fall happily in love with the prince and vice versa, she will now be bound to him as a slave assistant. (More deals: tail for legs, voice for a human form for himself) He may seem manipulative at first as he has been lonely down in the depth of the abyssal zone, but he tries his best to look out for Nene, and grows to genuinely care for her (in three days wow). In the three days he does his best to advise Nene from the silver mirror he gives her, but soon grows conflicted between wanting her to be happy and wanting her.

Kou - the Prince’s little brother, that Nene ends up successfully seducing instead (it did not take much effort.) One look at her and he also falls at first sight, not to mention his mother hen instinct taking over to care for the lost, dumb girl with ghostly eyes and hair. Obliviously good-natured, he soon notices that the girl’s eyes always follow his brother instead, but still wishes her the best. On the reveal that Nene is actually a mermaid (and since she couldn’t seduce his brother she has to be bound to a witch for the rest of her lifespan now) he is dismayed and tries to fight for her, only for his brother and his right hand man to cut in.

Teru - the Prince. Well-loved and charming, he is genial to all, and is a little distant as he is occupied with the duties of the Crown Prince of the Kingdom. He is only perfunctorily kind to Nene, and lets Kou and Akane take care of her instead. He hates any sign of witchcraft with a fervour as his mother had been cursed by one soon after Tiara was born, and it is often the cause of disruption around the kingdom. Thus, he has close ties to the temple, and is engaged to marry to the princess of the neighbouring kingdom.

Akane - the Prince’s right hand man. Faithful to Teru, he carries out his duties absolutely, and also hates the supernatural as a childhood friend was taken from him in that manner. Ironically, he’s got a pretty good spiritual sense when he takes off his glasses, and can see more than the average human. Later on while he and Teru confront the ‘criminals’ he meets Aoi come to save Nene and is struck dumb -- he’s convinced he’s found his beloved again.

Aoi - a fellow mermaid, best friend and confidante to Nene. Practically sisters, they tend many of the sea’s flora and sedentary fauna together. Aoi journeys a lot more than Nene, and moves around in more social circles, so she hears more rumours more frequently. Kind, level-headed, and ultimately more clever than she lets on. She confronts Hanako after finding Nene’s note, and later shows up to save Nene, and is opportunistic enough to recognise a chance when she sees one: she drags Akane into the water and puts all the humans into a stupor with her song.

(will they play a part? Or just mentions)

Sakura - the princess from the neighbouring kingdom, who’s affiliated with the temple, and Teru’s beloved betrothed. Especially after she saved him from the shore, taking care of him.

Tsukasa - the younger brother of the witch Hanako, who used to be a human called Amane. He shows up, shocking Hanako pale, and still adores Amane. He has kept his memory strong by becoming the kingdom’s astronomer. However, he has been a necromancer all this time as well trying to raise Amane’s spirit to him? (honestly. I am not sure if he drives the plot significantly. Am not clear about his role and character either.)

Links: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NBLMoINkIL8iAoEzjnFEK0CQgQj6V2sFeXF7P_3c1NA/edit?usp=sharing

WIP tag: #mermaid au

Other WIP Information: I don’t think I’ve figured everything out just yet, because I like to let the characters take the reins. This is also a fanfiction WIP of JSHK, and I’m attempting to make it easy for anyone to read. Will probably just keep editing over time.

edit 3/4: do feel free to ask me any questions! I’ve a lot more concepts/scenarios/descriptions and a rough timeline in my notes, just don’t want to put them all up just yet. The docs is just all I’ve written for it so far.

Considering changing up certain things like inputting more musical/sensory descriptions as basing mermaids on dolphin biology and the fact they have a stronger culture around singing, sound is likely to be more prominent to them than sight.

Constructive criticism: yes, particularly characterisation and pacing.

[evieonic]

Masterlist! (UPDATED: 8/21/2021)

Here’s a masterlist of all my current fics. As new ones are published, they’ll be added to the list. They are listed by publication date, with the title as a link followed by a summary of the work. If there are any trigger warnings, they are added as well. So is length of the work, fandoms and pairings. Please read the tags before reading the work. These links are attached to the fic itself so before reading, please take the time to read the tags.

You Were Good To Me (Published: Feb/6/2021)

       Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

       Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

       Trigger Warning: Suicide by train. 

        Length: 1039 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

        Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

        Summary: “I shouldn’t have left you,” Dazai whimpered. 

Chuuya couldn’t see him but his tears were falling onto his face as he cradled his head. He wished he could push him away from the train tracks but he couldn’t. He didn’t exist in the same plane as him. 

Chuuya only smiled at that, closing his eyes as he heard the sound of the train coming closer. “It’s okay. We weren’t meant for this world anyway,” he said. 

Then the train came. 

And Chuuya was no more.

I Love You (Even Though You Don’t Love Me Back) (Published: Feb/6/2021)

     Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

     Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

     Trigger Warning: None.

      Length: 3478 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

      Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

      Summary: Once Chuuya finally realized he was in love with Dazai, he was going to tell him. 

He was going to tell the one man who used him, manipulated him, the one man who he knew he should never confess his love to. 

But all of that pain was in the past. Dazai was a new man. A man who wanted to be good to Chuuya. So it was time to tell him his feelings. 

But there was one problem. Dazai doesn't feel the same.

Order Made (Published: Feb/6/2021)

    Pairing: Ash x Eiji

    Fandom: Banana Fish

    Trigger Warning: None.

     Length: 2467 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

     Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

     Summary: Many people don't realize when you die, you go through a recreation process. A process to forget your past life and become someone new. This is a retelling of how that process goes.

Too Late (Published: Feb/9/2021)

   Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

   Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

   Trigger Warning: None.

    Length: 1006 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

    Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

    Summary: Those three sugary sweet words held the whole world for Chuuya. It was all he hoped to hear from Dazai even though he always knew he'd never hear it. 

He had lost hope to hear it, so he kept his own thoughts to himself. 

But then at the worst moment possible, that bastard just had to confess and finally tell Chuuya the words he had always hoped to hear. 

"I love you." 

It was so perfect. 

Except the fact that Dazai was bleeding out of his chest and seconds away from death. 

How unlucky for Chuuya.

From Way Back When (Published: Feb/10/2021)

   Pairing: Ash x Eiji

   Fandom: Banana Fish

   Trigger Warning: None.

   Length: 2214 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

   Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

   Summary: An old Japanese urban legend; When a person dies and is reborn, their face becomes the face of the person they loved most in their past life. 

Adapted legend based off of this; When a person dies and is reborn, their new life contains aspects based off of the life the person they loved most had. 

Example, if a boy who is Italian with red hair and freckles and lived in Turkey, say that a girl fell in love with this boy and died. She would’ve been reborn, possibly, as an italian boy with freckles with an attraction to red hair and to Turkish culture. 

Jayden is honestly just curious about Japanese legends. But he can't help but wonder if the strange thoughts he sometimes gets where he remembers a boy with blond hair and green eyes like his own... 

Is that someone he loved once in a past life?

From Now On (Published: Feb/12/2021)

  Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

  Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

  Trigger Warning: None.

   Length:  6130 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

   Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

   Summary: When Dazai left the mafia in hopes of fulfilling his promise to Odasaku to protect the weak and save the orphans, he never really thought he'd start that promise off by adopting a little girl. 

And then another little girl.

And then another. 

Until Dazai's family grew to the point where he had nearly five children. 

But there's still one thing missing in his little family... 

Chuuya.

This House For You (Published: Feb/17/2021)

    Pairing: Akutagawa x Atsushi

    Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

    Trigger Warning: Suspected Cheating.

    Length:  4498 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

    Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

    Summary: Even though Dazai and Chuuya are more than willing to give Aku and Sushi more money for the house, neither of them want to take more than they've already been given. 

But Aku is a little more willing to take than Atsushi. He has a special surprise for the love of his life and he's going to work hard to make that dream come true. 

OR: 

Akutagawa is out and about 24/7, Atsushi begins to think he's cheating.

By The Time Chuuya Gets Home, Dazai Always Pretends To Be Dead (Published: Feb/20/2021)

     Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

     Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

     Trigger Warning: Suicide attempts done in a light/comedic manner.

     Length:  3022 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

     Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

     Summary: Every time Chuuya comes home from work he gets an unexpected surprise, a surprise that really should scare every spouse whenever they come home, which is to see their husband dead on the ground. 

OR: 

Dazai always pretends to be dead by the time his popular, rockstar husband gets home, and as weird as it sounds, they both love it.

The Best Kind Of Mystery (Published: Feb/24/2021)

    Pairing: Ranpo x Poe

    Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

    Trigger Warning: None.

    Length:  1966 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

    Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

    Summary: It's Ranpo's birthday today and Edgar has a special mystery collection for him to solve that will change their lives forever. 

Four books, four words. 

Will Ranpo be able to guess it?

Dance With Me In The Rain (Published Feb/28/2021)

     Pairing: Langa x Reki

     Fandom: Sk8: The Infinity

     Trigger Warning: None.

     Length:  1581 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

     Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

     Summary: “It’s just thunder you know,” Langa said, gently, “you’re okay.”

Reki immediately relaxed, “I know,” he said, looking up to him, “but it’s loud, it’s kind of nerve-racking.” 

“Well, then what if we…,” Langa pondered, thinking up something that could keep Reki distracted from the thunder. Aha! “What if we sing?” 

“Sing?” Reki gave him a look, “you want us to… sing.”

“Well, singing and dancing in the rain is fun sometimes,” Langa pouted, “and it would keep you distracted.”

The redhead gave him a doubtful look but laughed and indulged him, “okay, let’s try that.” 

OR: 

On their way home in the rain, the thunder is scaring Reki so Langa tries to distract him by asking him to sing and dance with him in the rain.

The Misadventures Of No. 7 Hanako-kun and No. 8 Yashiro Nene (First Published: Feb/27/2021, Last Updated: March/1/2021)

    Pairing: Hanako x Nene

    Fandom: Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun

    Trigger Warning: None.

    Length:  4387 Words, 3 Chapters. Ongoing.

    Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

    Summary: Have you heard this rumor? 

Several years ago, there was a girl at our very school who fell in love with a ghost. 

She denied her feelings for him at first but eventually she realized she loved him so much that she wanted to be with him for all time. 

But because she was alive and he was a ghost, their lives would never be able to flow the same. 

Each day, she would get older, and he would most likely stay the same. So one day, in order to stay with him, she made a wish. 

She made a wish that she be made a ghost as well so she could stay with him until they could both pass over together. 

And even though the boy tried to tell her not to because he wanted her to live. He loved her too. 

So eventually, he granted her wish. 

And together, in the last stall of the girl’s bathroom, you can ask the two lovers to grant you a wish in regards to happiness or love. 

If your wish is pure of heart, they will grant it, together.

But who knows if such a tale is true, right?

OR: 

The fluffy and sweet misadventures of the school's seventh wonder - the ghost couple of No. 7 Hanako-kun and No. 8 Yashiro Nene - and their human (friend) assistant, Yuki Hakanara!

What You Mean To Me (Published: March/3/2021)

   Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

   Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

   Trigger Warning: None.

   Length:  1559 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

   Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

   Summary: “Why do you never react when I touch you?” Dazai asked curiously. 

At first, Chuuya was confused by that. He did react. Depending on the touch he would blush, shiver, moan, he’d react in different ways. 

“I do react,” he said, “what do you mean?”       

“I mean when I say sweet truthful things about who you are,” Dazai smiled with a look in his eyes as if he already knew the answer, “when i’m talking about how human you are.”

OR: 

Chuuya doesn't believe in his worth as a person and Dazai is quick to correct that.

What Once Was Stolen (Published: March/5/2021)

   Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

   Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

   Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt.

    Length:  5394 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

    Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

    Summary: It's been a long time since Dazai went deaf. It was hard at first, but the change made Chuuya's relationship with his husband much closer than before. 

They read together, sign together, cuddle almost constantly because Dazai likes to hear the vibrations in his voice. 

But now, they have good news! Yosano knows a doctor who can cure him. 

There's just one tiny problem. 

Dazai's afraid of losing everything they have now and will go back to the way they used to be. 

Back when they were too afraid to show their true feelings.

I’ve Fallen Into An Impossible Love (Published: March/8/2021)

     Pairing: Xiao x Venti

     Fandom: Genshin Impact

    Trigger Warning: None

     Length: 4796 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

     Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

     Summary: “Childe,” Xiao glared at him, “when is he going to come on, I can’t stay any longer.”

“Just be patient, man, he’s the next act!” Childe said with an easy smile. Xiao only sighed, not liking that answer.

He had exams to study for, sleep he had to get so he wouldn’t be dead in the morning. This was a mistake, a worthless, worthless mist-

“Good evening, everyone!!” A cheerful voice rang out and Xiao looked up at the stage to see a boy with black braided hair, green emerald eyes, dressed up in a cute outfit with an adorable smile as he beamed at the crowd as if everyone was his personal friend and he was happy to see them.

Xiao’s jaw fell open from the sight of him, his eyes going wide.

As he started singing and dancing as if he was happy to be alive, Xiao could feel his heart beating faster and faster, his cheeks getting redder and redder.

Is this really what angels look like?

He was about to get his heart calm when…

Venti's eyes met with his for a second and he beamed at him, waving at him as if he was overjoyed to see him.

Oh, that did it. He was doomed now.

He has now fallen into an impossible love with an idol who doesn't even know him.

What Dazai Means To Chuuya (Published: March/9/2021)

   Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

   Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

   Trigger Warning: Implied/Referenced self harm and self harm scars.

    Length:  935 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

    Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post

    Summary: He sniffled once, he sniffled twice, bringing his hand to his mouth to cover it as tears slipped down his eyes, flowing down his cheeks against his will. He tried to keep quiet so Chuuya wouldn’t notice but of course he did.        

       And he only smiled adoringly at him as if he was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. And Dazai was the most beautiful person he had ever seen and would ever want to see. Chuuya said nothing, only putting a gentle hand, caressing Dazai’s cheek as he pulled his hand away from his mouth so the same treatment he gave his left arm can be given to his right.

       No words were spoken. They didn’t need to be. Dazai understood the message Chuuya was giving him and it was breaking him but he didn’t mind it. It just felt so overwhelming to know that he was loved.

        And someone was happy he was alive and cared about the pain he has felt in the past.

OR: Chuuya kisses and worships Dazai body so he will know and believe that he is truly loved.

In Simple Joy and Peace (Updated: May/3/2021)

     Pairing: Luffy x Sanji

     Fandom: One Piece

    Trigger Warning: None.

      Length: 8552 Words, 2 Chapters. Completed.

     Platforms: Both Parts on Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Part 1. Link to Part 2.

     Summary: He chuckled, tightening his arm around Luffy to bring him a little closer, “Oh, i know what you mean now,” he lowered his voice to a more charming tone as he leaned forward to kiss the black haired man but then he pulled away slightly, grinning cheekily, “your birthday?”

     “Sanji!” Luffy glared at him, propping himself up on his elbows as he slapped Sanji’s chest. “You know full well that tomorrow isn’t my birthday!”

     Sanji only laughed and brought his angry love back into his hold, “I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he chuckled and this time kissed him for real, making Luffy melt against him instantly. He pulled back to stare into those chocolate brown eyes he’s come to adore and decided to quit teasing the poor man.

      “It’s our wedding day,” he said softly, watching as those darling eyes widened and a blush dusted his husband-to-be’s cheeks.

     Luffy smiled as if he had been reminded of the most happiest memory he ever had and that’s exactly how he felt. Tomorrow, in the evening, the two of them were going to be wed. They would husbands, bound together in eternal love, until death do they part. And even after death, Sanji would never let Luffy part from him.

Damn Sick Bird (Published: March/16/2021)

   Pairing: Crocodile x Doflamingo

   Fandom: One Piece

   Trigger Warning: None

  Length:  949 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

  Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post.

  Summary: “You know,” he said, propping his chin into his hand, “next time I tell you that it’s going to rain, you should take an umbrella and the car to get to your office, you should probably listen to me.”

     Crocodile let out a growl, uncovering his face so his death glare would reach him, “The forecast on my phone was saying otherwise. And usually, I never get sick.”

     There it was, “yeah usually, you never get sick, that doesn’t actually mean never.” He grinned, “I know you’re handsome enough to pretty much be an immortal god of beauty, but that doesn’t mean you actually are one, love.”

OR: Crocodile gets sick and Doffy takes care of him.

One True Weakness (Published: March/17/2021)

     Pairing: Sukuna x Yuuji

     Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

    Trigger Warning: None.

     Length: 922 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

     Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post.

     Summary: It was a battle, a fight, they were trying to kill each other.

But then Sukuna's long black nails grazed Yuuji's neck...

And the poor boy snorted revealing his one true weakness. He was ticklish.

OR: Sukuna discovers how ticklish Yuuji is and stops their fight because he's found new entertainment in seeing Yuuji laugh.

These Feelings Of Love Just Won't Stop!!! (Published:  04/26/2021)        

        Pairing: Zhongli x Childe

        Fandom: Genshin Impact

       Trigger Warning: None.

       Length: 6432 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

       Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

       Summary: Having a crush on someone is a wonderful thing... 

Except when that crush has lasted for roughly eight years and that beautiful, living god of a man is still oblivious to your flirting. 

Someone please save Childe's poor soul, Zhongli and his handsome face is going to be the death of him!!!

OR:

Childe has had a major crush on Zhongli ever since they were in middle school and no amount of flirting is getting him closer to having this man realize he adores him. But maybe sparks will start flying when Zhongli asks him to spend spring break with him.

BONUS: 

It's basically shy, gay-panicking 24/7 Childe x oblivious to gay flirting and obviously gay flirting model student Zhongli.

A Corset Can Kill A Man (Published:  05/3/2021)

         Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

         Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

         Trigger Warning: None, however, this is NSFW, meaning it is explict and 18+. Please read the tags on ao3 before reading.

         Length: 5949 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

         Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

         Summary: Dazai tends to dress up in lingerie for his loving husband but he decides one night to surprise Chuuya with something new...

Dazai in a corset, anyone?

Wedding Night For Three (Published:  05/8/2021)

        Pairing: Dazai x Fyodor x Shibusawa

        Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

        Trigger Warning: None, however, this is NSFW, meaning it is explicit and 18+. Please read the tags on ao3 before reading. 

       Length: 4866 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

        Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

        Summary: Dazai had never dreamed of marrying not just one - but two people - and actually loving them with all his heart. 

He hadn't expected himself to fall in love with Fyodor and Shibusawa who were already boyfriends at the time and then having the three of them get married to each other.

The wedding was everything Dazai wanted, he couldn't be happier.

Except for one thing: Fyodor and Shibusawa out of their suits and fucking him into the goddamn mattress.

A Shock Collar Surprise For Daddy (Published:  05/12/2021)

           Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

           Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

           Trigger Warning: Choking. Dazai pushes himself too far. This is NSFW, meaning it is explicit and 18+. Please read the tags on ao3 before reading.

           Length: 7868 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

           Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

           Summary: “Did you play with this new toy by yourself?”

“A little bit, sir,” Dazai stammered, sliding into his role quickly. “But only to make sure it was at a shock level comfortable for me.”

         “Ohhh, just for that, hmm?” Chuuya hummed, a dark smirk playing on his lips, “you didn’t touch yourself either? I should hope you didn’t because that’s a very important rule that I had hoped a good little boy like you would follow.”

         “N-No,” Dazai stammered, “I promise, I didn’t touch myself at all.”

         “So it was just trying to make sure the shock collar worked for you?” Chuuya smiled, “that’s such an honorable deed. I feel so honored. But there’s one little problem, dearest, i’m sure you know exactly what I mean.”

         “I-I’m not supposed to prepare toys that can cause pain and adjust them for myself by myself,” Dazai said, whimpering as Chuuya covered his jaw in kisses. He grinned, a rush of mischief overwhelming his senses, “I’m supposed to let Daddy help me.”

Age Before Beauty (Published:  05/19/2021)

           Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

           Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

           Trigger Warning: Self harm descriptions, past suicide attempt descriptions, suicide, depression.

           Length: 4165 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

           Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

           Summary: Dazai fell onto the bed, on top of Chuuya and his arms wrapped tight around him as Chuuya kept hitting his back and screaming.

“Please!” He choked out, “Please, don’t go! They’ll kill you - you know they’re going to kill you - you know it!”Chuuya sobbed, raking his hands down his back. He wasn’t angry, not really, he just felt so hopeless. He had to touch him, everywhere and really touch him. This was going to be the last time he touched him and he wanted to make sure he remembered it.

Dazai tightened his arms around him. He, too, wasn’t angry. His heart was shattering like a piece of sugar glass. Falling apart like 100 year old paper. Why did things have to come to this? Maybe if this was happening long before he fell so deeply in love with this man, he'd be happy about this situation. It once was his dream after all.

But now he didn't want this at all. All he wanted was to live with Chuuya, spend days with him, grow old with him, be with him forever until death do they part.

However, unfortunately, someone has decided to ruthlessly attack the ADA and endanger everyone's lives, including Chuuya's, but they can be saved with a heavy price.

And the price is...

Dazai Osamu's life.

Dazai's Shinigami Record (Published:  05/26/2021)

     Pairing: Dazai x Chuuya

     Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

     Trigger Warning: Major Character Deaths, talk of death, suicide mentions, suicide.

      Length: 2882 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

      Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

      Summary: Before there was time, there were two Gods, the God of the Sun and God of the Moon. One day, these two Gods came together and fell in love, creating the earth, the humans, and the demigods that would help them care for the mortals. One such demigod was the demigod of mischief and death, Dazai.

People would come to him to pray for loved ones or for themselves not to reach untimely deaths or to pray for mischievous things (which was always Dazai’s favorite matter to take care of.)

And while Dazai did revel in the power that he had, he also hated it. Dealing with the matters of death was depressing to him, but what he hated most was how the relationship between mortal and god worked.

Dazai had been warned several times that the relationship between mortal and god had to be distanced. But he never listened to such advice.

But there then came a day where his whole life changed. He met a man with fiery red hair and beautiful blue eyes, a man so gorgeous, so lovely, that he had to have him as his own.

They fell in love.

And Dazai's painful, heartbreaking future was sealed.

I'm Not Going To Lose You (Published:  05/27/2021)

        Pairing: Chris Redfield x Ethan Winters

        Fandom: Resident Evil 8

        Trigger Warning: None.

        Length: 3492 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

        Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post

       Summary: “Chris…,” Ethan said again, stopping in his tracks, forcing Chris to look at him. “I don’t think I can keep going.”

“No, you can,” Chris insisted, “you have to."

Ethan only tried to push Rose into his arms again, his eyes beginning to tear up. He needed Chris to run so they both could survive. If they both survived, then he could die happy. "You both need to survive, okay? There’s no time to argue about this so you should just-”

Before Ethan could even finish his words, Chris wrapped a hand around the back of his head, his gloved fingers lacing with his hair while the other hand pushed the baby further into his grasp. Ethan didn’t have time to question the movement because the next thing he knew, Chris’s lips were on his own. His eyes widened as Chris pushed him further into the kiss, deepening it as his eyes slowly fluttered closed.

The kiss was warm and sweet, gentle and loving, it was everything he could ever want. It was short, too. Chris pulled away before he had a chance to kiss back.“

I’m not going to lose you." Chris said, "Not again.”

Papa Dazai (Published:  06/4/2021)

        Pairing: Dazai Osamu x Chuuya Nakahara

        Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

        Trigger Warning: Major Character Death.

        Length: 1437 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

        Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post

        Summary: “The fuck is this?” He grumbled, placing the hotdogs on the table. “Who is this?”

Dazai shrugged, allowing himself to come crashing down to reality, “I don’t know. He just approached me, calling me dad.”

“Daddy,” The little boy mumbled again before giggling and pointed at Chuuya, “Dada!”

“Nope,” Chuuya shook his head, “not dada.”

“But Chuuya~!” Dazai whined.

“Dazai, are you serious right now? It’s a kid and not even our kid!” Chuuya said, always being the voice of reason.“

But Chuuya, look at him!” Dazai smiled, lifting the boy onto his lap, “he looks just like us and plus we’d make such good parents! You’d make such a good dad, I just know it.”

Chuuya sighed angrily, reaching for a napkin and wiped at the little boy’s face. “Fine! We can at least have fun with him until we can find his parents, okay?!”

And with that, Dazai and Chuuya suddenly became fathers.

Ever Since July (Published:  06/23/2021)

        Pairing: Dazai Osamu x Chuuya Nakahara

        Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

        Trigger Warning: Major Character Death, depression, suicide, implied /referenced depression and self harm, hallucinations. Angst with no happy ending. Please do not read if it triggers you in any way.

        Length: 4252 Words, 1 Chapter. Not Completed.

        Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title)

        Summary: Dazai couldn’t quite place it even if he wanted to.

He knew there was something he was forgetting but he couldn’t quite place it. And to be quite honest, a part of him knew he didn’t really want to.

“What are you doing here, sitting so silently?” Said the adorable redhead leaning over him, blocking the sun from his eyes. So much for peace and quiet, Dazai thought, playfully. His peace could be ruined by Chuuya any second of the day if he so wished to.

“Enjoying the weather,” Dazai answered, watching as the sun made Chuuya’s eyes appear as if they were literal sapphires, all sparkly and beautiful.

“Really? You?” Chuuya grinned, “you usually never enjoy the weather.”

Dazai chuckled. He sometimes took pleasure in the small things… Even though it was rare.

He knew whatever he was forgetting, it had to do with Chuuya. But he wasn’t going to focus on it. He’d rather focus on how gorgeous he looked today; his red hair glowing like flames and his denim jacket somehow looking even sexier on him than it did the day before.

Dazai could melt from the sight of Chuuya in that jacket but... he knew something was wrong. And it's been that way ever since that day in July.

Lovers In The Moonlight (Published:  07/14/2021)

      Pairing: Sebastian Michaelis x Grelle Sutcliff

      Fandom: Black Butler

      Trigger Warning: Gender dysphoria discussions. This fic is also a songfic, if you'd like to listen along as you read, the song is called You're My Lover by Birdtalker.

      Length: 4267 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

      Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post

      Summary: It was the cold, empty space beside Sebastian that woke him up in the middle of the night. It was rare for Sebastian to wake up so randomly but he immediately knew what did it when he realized that his arms weren’t around the precious warm body of his beloved wife, Grelle.

Ever since he married his beautiful wife and began to sleep in the same bed with her, he couldn’t sleep nor stay asleep unless he felt her warmth beside him. He just couldn’t do it as much as it frustrated him. He had very, very, very few weaknesses and one of them just had to be something so petty like Grelle’s presence beside him whenever he did… well… anything.

So where could she have gone?    

The Man of My Dreams (Published:  07/26/2021)

     Pairing: Kazuha x Kazuha’s Friend (fanonically called Tomo)

     Fandom: Genshin Impact

    Trigger Warning: Pre Updates 2.0 spoilers, Major Character Death (kinda not really tho), Graphic Violence (kinda not really tho. If you have played through the story quest featuring Kazuha and got to the part about Tomo, that’s why these tags are here because that scene is described again in the fic.) This fic is also a songfic, the song is called Hitchcock by Yorushika. 100% recommend listening while reading, though you don’t have to. Song lyrics are in bold and italics.  

     Length: 5037 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

     Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post

     Summary: He couldn’t place it.

He watched as the raindrops fell, gently hitting the ground, creating puddles as he sat there on the bus, his cheek pressed against the cold window.

On any other day, he would be smiling, thinking of flowery words that could match the way this scene appeared to him. But right now, he couldn’t do such a thing.

Because he was too busy thinking about the dream he had last night. A dream about a world called Teyvat, in a beautiful city called Inazuma.

Normally, anyone would shrug off these dreams. However, Kazuha has these dreams every single night as the season of fall dwells closer.

And in every dream, there's always a man, a man whom he doesn't know nor has he ever met... yet somehow he knows that this man is important to him.

As if he is someone he lost long ago and has been missing ever since.

Remedy For A Broken Heart (Published:  08/15/2021)

     Pairing: Platonic only, characters: Gojo, Yuuji, and Megumi

     Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

     Trigger Warning: None, though technically contains a break-up and non-consensual tickling though it's all in good fun.

     Length: 1595 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

     Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post

     Summary: Yuuji's heart got broken by some chick at school and absolutely refuses to go to class. Megumi takes it into his own hands to get the strawberry blond happy again by calling Gojo-sensei who has some... talented tickling fingers.

Ticklish Experiments (Published:  08/21/2021)

    Pairing: Diluc/Zhongli

    Fandom: Genshin Impact

    Trigger Warning: None.

    Length: 1487 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.

    Platforms: Ao3 (Link in Title) Tumblr: Link to Post

    Summary: Venti keeps telling Zhongli about this new thing mortals do called "tickling" and he wants to try it out on Diluc.

[carmscarms]

wala akong mapagsabihan. ayoko na talaga. super stressed na ko.

feeling nila, okay ako. ang ganda nga naman kasi ng trabaho ko. naging titser ako, akalain ba naman nila yon? si pokpok na neneng nene noon, akala nila, mag-aartista paglaki, hayun! propesora na!

akala nila, okay ako. kasi nga naman ang ganda ng sahod ko. para na rin daw akong nasa public. sabi ko sa sarili ko? "ah talaga ba? bat di ko dama? t*@':#;;$+ kaltasan yan! bat may sss, philhealth, pag-ibig pa eh hindi mo naman alam kung mararamdaman mo ang benepisyo pagdating ng panahon. kung dadating ang panahon. at ang bills!!!! walang katapusang bills!!!! at tuition!!!! pangmayaman!!!! eh hindi naman kami mayaman. nasasaid ako. minsan nga naguiguilty pa ko pag may binibili akong luho ko. parang di ko deserve. ipon na lang ng ipon. mapapakinabangan ko ba yon sa future? e yung ipon na yon, pag nagkaka-emergency, dun kumukuha. wala nang natira p-@;#-:@&2+) naman

"naka-ahon na sa hirap ang pamilya. titser na si elang elang." bwisit. talaga ba? bat parang lunod na lunod pa rin ako?

gusto ko nang makagraduate yung kapatid ko, sa totoo lang. kaso tatlong taon pa. tatlong taon pa ko magtitiis. at ang mas matindi pa don, hindi pa siya sigurado sa gusto niyang maging. sobrang nakakafrustrate. alam kong dapat magtiwala ako sa kaniya na magiging okay siya pagkagraduate niya pero hindi ako makampante e. iniisip ko kung pano kung masayang effort kong suportahan siya kasi wala naman talaga siyang direksyon? habambuhay na lang ba kong malulunod? gusto ko na umahon.

at t-#+18@(:2-#)?@ masteral yan. hindi na nakakatuwa. bakit kailangan ko pang mag-aral para may mapatunayan? at bakit kahit nag aaral naman ako, parang wala pa rin akong binatbat? i felt so incompetent. walang kwenta yung isang boss ko. puro mali na lang napupuna. (except sa assistant principal. okay si mam mitch sakin) nagwawaldas ako ng pera para makatapos. pero hindi sapat. kulang pa. kailangan mo pang mag aral. mag aral hanggang sa lamunin na ng pimples yung mukha dahil sa stress. bwisit na isang sem na lang, hindi pa natapos. sumabay pa naman kasi tong covid na to eh. e di sana, ggraduate na ko sa May!

tapos, wala akong magawa para kay Nanay Naty. hindi man kami close kagaya ng lola ko sa mother side, alam kong mahihirapan ako maka-cope kung pati siya, mawawala. her Alzheimer's getting worse. para bang gustong sumunod kay Tatay Mer. sana huminto naman yung sakit niya. chill. hindi pa pwede. masisiraan na ko ng bait pag nagkataon. tapos naka-lockdown pa naman. hindi kami makatawid sa Rizal.

hindi na talaga ako masaya. dati, nung wala pang ECQ, lumalabas ako kasama si mam carla. minsan naman, sina kafs. last year si junell (isa pa yun. ang sakit sa puso na inabot ko don. alam mo na yon) minsan sina elaine at brian. nakakakwentuhan ko rin si mam flo. ibig sabihin, maraming diversion. ngayon kasi wala. lagi na lang akong nag ooverthink. sobrang nakakabaliw na talaga.

ayokong magkwento sa parents ko. ayoko kasing magtunog nanunumbat kasi hindi naman talaga. pero feeling ko, ganun yung magiging dating sa kanila. mahal na mahal ko sila at ayokong ma-stress pa lalo sila dahil alam kong dumaan at dumadaan pa rin sila sa mas matinding stress kesa sakin. ika nga, ako - papunta pa lang. sila, ra-roundtrip na.

hindi ako suicidal. ayokong magpatiwakal. bukod sa kasalanan sa diyos yun, ayokong masayang yung mga pinaghirapan ko. sabi nila, malulungkot din daw yung mga nagmamahal sakin. +#-72;619!# meron ba? sobrang dumi na ng isip ko. hindi nga ako nagmumura pero yung kokote ko, oo.

naiiyak na lang ako pag madaling araw. tapos insomniac na ko. 😭 hirap na hirap na kong matulog. tapos ang aga ko pa nagigising. tapos hindi pa maganda yung panaginip ko minsan. binangungot ako nung isang araw. buti kumulog.

Carms

[2n2n]

why did he take tsukasa yashiro and kiss her he was happy about it? What do you think he will do with it 😣😖😳 how would hanako distroy yourishiro without her

Life ain't all about destroying yorishiro, baby!! And time is frozen!! I think they have some time to hang out. What rush are we in?

I think Tsukasa kissed Nene-chan because he likes her ... (: and he wanted to do it, with his mouth. He thought about it and was happy to think about it and then he did it and it made him happy (:! :D it's part of our fun little game with Amane, too...! Heehee...

She's No. 7's kannagi anyway, doesn't that kinda make her Tsukasa's as well? He's a part of No. 7! If Tsukasa is the object that houses an aspect of God, he should get in on the kannagi, too! OOUUUR kannagi :D

Mind you, Nene-chan herself wanted the opportunity to talk to someone from the Broadcast Club....

LUCKY HER! She's been taken away by THE Tsukasa! And... what, does he like her ... ??? can she learn something from him?

I wonder if Tsukasa can command Yashiro to peel yorishiro? I don't think she necessarily needs Hanako's direction, or something. I mean, she didn't need him present at all to peel Sumire-- she was expected to be capable of doing it entirely on her own, alone, in the boundary. Amane is not needed.

Nene-chan could come to her own conclusion, that it's necessary to peel the clockkeeper's yorishiro ... especially if the clockkeepers haunted Amane in the past... Tsukasa could make a good case for the necessity of it, and encourage her to think about all of her options. If it was to help Amane, if it was to gain leverage in saving Amane, in controlling the timeline, would she want to, even if it brought her closer to death? The Far Shore arc showed them that even if Nene-chan wanted to die, Amane wouldn't let her. Tsukasa saw that, marvelled at Amane's selfishness-- how he would not let Nene-chan choose, that he would force her to live (and after AMANE HIMSELF chose suicide over living without Tsukasa!! After he had to despair over Tsukasa going missing as a kid!! HA HA ...!!). I think Tsukasa would like to know more. Nene-chan loves Amane more than her own life. Would she still pull herself closer to death, even if Amane didn't want her to, even if Amane wished she wouldn't? Could she desire to force Amane to experience or imagine better, even if he refuses it, just like Amane wanted to force her to? How far will Nene-chan go, in disobeying him? Tsukasa encouraged her to disobey him in PP ...

Perhaps this factors into wanting her in his hands ... a greater power in disobeying Amane, doing as she wants, not letting Amane make her do anything....

though, of course, Sakura was confident in telling Nene-chan secrets, knowing that she will just have to do the next step, anyway. I'm sure she was confident for a reason, if the next step contains much pressure, no matter what Nene-chan does.

It's Tsukasa though... I wonder if he thinks he can have 2 assistants, or if he will discard Sakura as an assistant, in favor of taking Nene-chan? We must wait and see~~~

These are all just. theories , fun thinkies, fun times... !

[shikikira]

Tanabata Fundraising Foundation

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The Tanabata Fundraising Foundation (TFF) International is a non-profit charity founded by Masami Ryu and Shigeru Miyakazu. The organization raises money for various causes by hosting an annual party on July 7th and auctioning various art pieces that have been donated to them by famous artists, photographers, designers, and etc. The foundation also hosts a variety of other charity events throughout the year. The TFF was established when the two founders were respectively 14 and 16 years old, and are currently in the process of preparing for their 8th annual party and auction.

With the ever increasing number of guests invited to each year’s party and the members all being introverts or ambiverts, Shigeru and the other core members of the TFF have jokingly asked Masami if she was planning to kill them with over stimulation.

Information

Founders: Masami Ryu and Shigeru Miyakazu

Established On: 2104 December 8

Age: 7 years -> 8 years

Headquarters: Sky Hills - Tower B, 77th Floor

Required Languages: English, Japanese

Name Reason:

Tanabata is not only the East Asia holiday for lovers such as the story of Orihime and Hikoboshi, but it is also the holiday of wishes.

Core Members

Masami Ryu

Shigeru Miyakazu

Hideyoshi Ryu-Toujou

Haruitsuki Ryu-Tsukimiya

Youichi/Yangyu Lucas Ryu/Liu

Daiki Tsuchie

Takumi Nicolas Ryu

Aleric Anthony Mason

Hercule Holmes

Emi Ichijouji-Kirizaki

Yukichi Hoshizora-Ryu | Seizaburo Ryu

Aaron James Vincent Philip Richard Grosvenor, Duke of Westminster

Benjamin “Benji” Lyon

Jacob Ernest Stidolph

Teizen Ichijouji

Kazuhiko Miyuki-Ryu

Kenshin Kirizaki

Jihyun Kim

Mingxiu Casper Yang

Mingqiu Brendon Yang

Leadership

Masami Ryu | Masai Ryu [劉 雅美 | 龍 正意, 21/22] - Co-Founder, Chairman, Guest and Event Coordinator

Shigeru Miyakazu  [宮和 茂, 23/24] - Co-Founder, Executive Director

Hideyoshi Ryu-Toujou [劉-搭乗 秀吉 , 23/24]- UK Branch Director, Head of Public Relations

Haruitsuki Ryu-Tsukimiya [劉-月宮 晴��, 26/27] - France Branch Director, Head of Culinary Affairs

Youichi Lucas Ryu | Yangyi Lucas Liu [劉 陽一, 24/25]- China-Hong Kong Branch Director

Daiki Tsuchie [土惠 大貴, 35/36] - Head of Security

Hercule Holmes [28/29] - UK Branch Deputy Director, Head of Legal Affairs

Emi Ichijouji-Kirizaki [一乗寺-貴理崎 恵美, would be 33/34; 28 at time of death] - Guest Coordinator, Deceased

Takumi Nicolas Ryu [27/28] - USA Branch Director

Hedwig Saloman - Germany Branch Director, Non-founding Member

Anton Nikiforov - Russia Branch Director, Non-founding Member

Jihyun Kim - South Korea Branch Director, Suspended

Branches

Japan | Main Headquarters - Opened 2104

Masami Ryu - A-List Actress, Musician, Singer, Songwriter, Artist, Choreographer, Model, Maître Pâtissière (Master Pastry Chef), Honey Dreams Confectioneries & Pâtisserie Chairman/President, Dreams Entertainment & Productions Chairman, University Student

Shigeru Miyakazu - Neurosurgeon, Neurologist, Medical & Environmental Researcher, Biochemical & Environmental Engineer

Daiki Tsuchie - CEO of Ryu-Tsuchie Security Firm

Emi Ichijouji-Kirizaki - Professional Musician, Songwriter/Composer

Soichiro Ryu [劉 壮一朗, 40/41] - Professional Chef, Chef de Cuisine of Setsuna

Mitsuyoshi Ichijouji [一乗寺 光良, 41/42] - Elite Bureaucrat at Japan’s Ministry of Finance

Shokichi Ichijouji [一乗寺 翔吉, 38/39] - A-List Actor, Dreams Entertainment & Productions President/CEO

Yumi Ichijouji nee Hoshizora-Ryu [星空-劉 / 一乗寺 由美, 36/37] - Fashion Designer, Former Secret Agent/Assassin

Yukichi Hoshizora-Ryu | Seizaburo Ryu [星空-劉 裕吉 | 龍 精三郎, 33/34] - Bodyguard, Author, Nobel Laureate, Former Secret Agent/Assassin

Kei Hoshizora-Ryu [星空-劉 蛍, 28/29] - Game Developer, Ryu Group Executive Director, Former Secret Agent/Assassin

Kenshin Kirizaki [貴理崎 健信 44/45 ->47/48] - Bodyguard, Former Secret Agent Status Unknown, presumed dead

Satoru Ryu-Hoshigami [劉-星神 覚, 23/24] - Public Security Intelligence Agency - Security Police/Secret Agent

Teizen Ichijouji [一乗寺 帝善, 21/22] - University Student, Professional Musician, Songwriter, Idol

Kazuhiko Miyuki-Ryu [御幸-劉 和彦, 21/22] - University Student, Professional Baseball Player

Tomoe Fuji [福慈  巴衛, 21/22] - Idol, University Student

Ryuji Hisakata [久方 竜持, 21/22] - Idol, University Student, Fashion Designer

Reina Koizumi [古泉 麗な, 21/22] - University Medical Student, Medical Scribe

Naoki Mitsui [光井 尚樹, 23/24] - Professional Swimmer, Olympian

Chihiro Asakura | Emma [朝倉 千寛 | エマ, 21/22] - Art Student, Graphic Designer, Photographer

Katsuyuki Matsuoka [松岡 勝雪, 18/19 | 19/20] - Competitive Figure Skater, Olympian

Saeran Choi [최 세란, 21/22 | 22/23] - Professional Taste Tester, Pâtissier-in-training

Others

United Kingdom - Opened 2104

Hideyoshi Ryu-Toujou - Co-Owner & Head Designer of HIDE (HTR), MI6 Agent

Hercule Holmes - Employee of the Foreign & Commonwealth Office

Koharu Oshiba [大柴 心治, 23/24] - Professional Model, Photographer

Aleric Anthony Mason - Fashion Company Executive Director

Carina Tsuchie nee Leclair-Yoshida [土惠 カリーナ | カリーナ・ルクレール ・吉田, 33/34] - A-List Actress

Julien Cho [趙 줄리안, 27/28] - A-List Actor

Wallace Bones - MI6 Agent

Ailise Blakesley - MI5 Agent

Aaron James Vincent Philip Richard Grosvenor, Duke of Westminster [27/28] - British aristocrat, Physics Professor, Businessman (TFF’s Royal Patron)

Benjamin “Benji” Lyon [27/28]- Bodyguard, Aaron’s Chief Assistant/Secretary

Jacob Ernest Stidolph [27/28] - Art Consultant & Inspector, Lawyer

Mingxiu Casper Yang [楊 明秀, 25/26] - Professional Gamer, Former Actor (also Hong Kong member)

Mingqiu Brendon Yang [楊 明秋, 25/26] - A-List Actor, Former Competitive Ballroom Dancer (also Hong Kong member)

Others

France - Opened 2106

Haruitsuki Ryu-Tsukimiya - Professional Chef, Owner of Haru’s and Tsuki’s, Chef de Cuisine of Haru’s

Éliane Miyamoto - Winemaker/Vigneron

Grace Chevalier

Reinald Séverin

Demetri Kim

Amelia Bellamy

Clément Voclain

René Dufort

Estelle Zhou

Albert Rudolph

Suzu Tominaga

Others

China/Hong Kong - Opened 2107

Youichi Ryu | Yangyi Lucas Liu/Lau - A-List Actor

Xiurong Cherry Liu/Lau - A-List Actress, Singer

Lan Sara Chen

Huifang Vivian Zhu

Qiaoyu Elise Wong

Lihua Monique Yeung

Bingwen Christopher Sun

Mingzhu Lillian Zhao

Huizhong Michael Yuen

Airi Wu

Mingxiu Casper Yang [楊 明秀, 25/26] - Professional Gamer, Former Actor (also UK member)

Mingqiu Brendon Yang [楊 明秋, 25/26] - A-List Actor, Former Competitive Ballroom Dancer (also UK member)

Nene Akamine - Idol, Singer

Others

South Korea - Postponed for TBD

Jihyun Kim [Suspended] - Professional Photographer

Postponed because of incident during the 3rd Tanabata Party

United States of America - Opened 2109

Takumi Nicolas Ryu - Ryu Hospitality US Executive Director, Imperial New York Hotel Owner

Kazumi Fujiwara - United Nations Lawyer

Katsuyuki Matsuoka - Competitive Figure Skater

Aimie Lin

William Donovan

Collette Walker

Evelyn Aston

Julie Song

Penelope Choe

Valerie Moon

Others

Germany - Opened 2110

Hedwig Saloman

Viktor Fromm

Mika Yamazaki

Anina

Louise

Albririch

Zenzi

Johan

Eduard

Russia - Opened 2111

Anton Nikiforov

Anastasia Solovyov

Sofiya Plisetsky

Elena Volkov

Ivan Lebedev

Gennadi Morozov

Irina Belinsky

Nikolai Genrich

Mission | Causes

Suicide Prevention

Mental Illness Awareness, Education, Care, and Treatment

Child Abuse Recognition, Prevention, Care, Treatment, and Education

Domestic Abuse Recognition, Prevention, Care, and Treatment

Education and Protection of Underprivileged and Vulnerable Children

Promotion and Conservation of the Arts (Art, Theater, Calligraphy, Music, Dance, and etc.)

Cancer and Medical Research

Environmental Research, Protection, and Conservation

Animal Protection and Conservation

Feminism | Women’s Rights | Equal Rights

LGBTQ Rights, Support, and Protection

Support, Treatment, Rehabilitation, and Protection of Abuse Victims

Restoration and Renovation of residences in Low Income areas

Assisting Low Income  and Struggling Families and Individuals

Awards

Royal Society of Arts (RSA) - Albert Medal

World of Children - Humanitarian Award

Conrad N. Hilton Humanitarian Prize

AAMI Foundation & ACCE - Robert L. Morris Humanitarian Award

Nobel Peace Prize

Helen Keller Achievement Award

Events

Tanabata Party - Black Tie Party and Auction

Largest event the TFF holds annually

Party Date: July 7th, 16:00-24:00

Auction: 21:00

Auction Preview: July 6th, 15:00-18:00; July 7th, 10:00-14:00

Party Venue: Imperial Shining Hotel, Tokyo Prefecture

The Grand Ballroom

Max Capacity: 2000 (Banquet style), 2500 (Reception style)

Annual Revenue: 18+ million USD

1st Party Revenue: 2 million USD

The first party was held in London, England, United Kingdom

Dream Festival - Charity Music Concert/Festival

Concert Dates: August 29th-31st

Art Exhibitions - Multiple tours throughout the year

Works showcased are auctioned off at the Tanabata Party

Art pieces are donated by a series of famous artists throughout the world including artists within the TFF members

Charity Runs/Walks

Fashion Shows

Cooking Shows

Competitive food shows

All food is donated to homeless shelters

Celebrity cook offs

Cooking Class

Venue: Honey Dream Cafe - Sky Hills, Tokyo

Holiday sweets cooking classes

Only offered the two weeks prior to Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and White Day

Hosts: The Fallen (Masami and Teizen) + Kazuhiko + Honey Dreams Confectioneries + Haruitsuki and Soichiro (sometimes) + O☆SIS (Nene, Suzu, Mika, Masami, and Yui)

10 Students per class, 10 classes

Different recipes are set for each class; a poll is set up for the 2 most popular classes

Seats in the top 2 picks are auctioned off the month prior

Seats in the other classes are on first come, first served or chosen by lottery

Figure Skating Shows - 2 week tour

Theater

Multiple plays and musicals throughout the year

1st Party - 2105

Host and Head: Masami & Shigeru

Items with Highest bid price:

And Her Wish Filled the Sky - oil painting by Shigeru Miyakazu

New Hope - photograph by Masami/Ami Ryu

Guest Total: 125

2nd Party - 2106

Host and Head: Masami & Shigeru

Items with Highest bid price: 

Dying Breath - photograph by Koharu Oshiba

Cat’s Glory - sculpture by Wallace Bones

Handwritten copy of “Expert Playboy” Volume 1 by Yukichi Hoshizora-Ryu | Seizaburo Ryu

Guest Total: 268

3rd Party - 2107

Host and Head: Masami & Shigeru

Item with Highest bid price:

Lighting the Way - oil painting by Shigeru Miyakazu

Warrior’s Pride - photograph by Masami/Ami Ryu

Guest Total: 371

Tragic Incident: One of the guests assaulted and injured multiple members of the TFF, resulting in the death of one founding member and the comatose state of one of the co-founders. The incident also resulted in the cancellation of the South Korean branch and the suspension of member Jihyun Kim.

4th Party - 2108

Host and Head: Masami & Shigeru

Items with Highest bid price:

Rising from the Ashes - oil painting by Shigeru Miyakazu

The Dancing Dawn - photograph by Demetri Kim

Handwritten copy of “Skills of Love” Volume 1 by Yukichi Hoshizora-Ryu/Seizaburo Ryu

Guest Total: 484

5th Party - 2109

Host and Head: Masami & Shigeru

Items with Highest bid price:

And She Waits - oil painting by Shigeru Miyakazu

Ever Dreaming - sculpture by Airi Wu

Guest Total: 622

6th Party - 2110

Host and Head: Masami & Shigeru

Item with Highest bid price:

Innocence - oil painting by Shigeru

Supernova - graffiti piece by Colette Walker

Guest Total: 740

7th Party - 2111

Host and Head: Masami & Shigeru

Item with Highest bid price:

Silent Tears - oil painting by Shigeru

Guest Total: 882

8th Party - 2112

Host and Head: Masami & Shigeru

Item with Highest bid price:

Eclipse - oil painting by Shigeru

Guest Total: 1097

Main Guests:

International Gourmet Society [x7]

Health Researchers Association [x8]

Art and Culture Organizations [x8]

Environmentalists Organizations [x6]

Tokyo International Film Festival

Celebrities’ Rights Association [x8]

Artists of the Future Association [x7]

Animal Welfare and Protection Societies

Mental Health Organizations [x8]

Clean Water Organizations

International Photographers Associations [x8]

Minister of Health (Foreign and Domestic)

Minister of Environment (Foreign and Domestic)

Minister of Education (Foreign and Domestic)

Chairman of Fair Trade Commission (Foreign and Domestic)

Minister of Agriculture (Foreign and Domestic)

C&R International - Chairman Han [x5]

Ryu Group - Chairman Ryu and CEO Choe (Masami’s parents) [x8]

Tsukiba Culinary Academy ]x8]

Professional Gamers Association

International Debutante Ball Committee

Multitude of Celebrities and Social Elites

Rika’s Fundraising Association [x1]

[2n2n]

I think Hanako made Nene his assistant because he needed one to break all the Yorishiros: my idea is that his wish was originally to bring Tsukasa back to life in some way (like reincarnation?) but hen he fell for Nene his goal may have changed: I believe his goal is BOTH for Nene and Tsukasa to live, probably without him

disagree; I think Hanako's "we have no future" with himself and Tsukasa's shinjuu, was intended as a permanent cursing of them both, and that gesture is permanent and will not be rescinded. Absolution, oblivion. A promise to Tsukasa to never leave, and never let Tsukasa go. Whatever his intentions were, they were absolute, I think… I earnestly don't think he'd want Tsukasa to live without him. I don't think he trusts Tsukasa to live on without him, because he WOULDN'T, given that Tsukasa ALREADY was slated to live a normal happy life, but GAVE THAT UP for AMANE as a child! I think Amane implicitly understands that Tsukasa could not, would not, will not, will never, live a life without him. I think of Tsukasa and Amane, right now anyway, as "further along" in some realizations/indulgences than HanaNene (wherein Hanako is TRYING!!!! to not repeat his past, but failing… seeking to trap her forever in Picture Perfect. RESISTING doing what he REALLY wants. and unable to accept his importance to her, wanting to believe she is merely a foolish girl, who can forget him <-mean of him).

I think Amane trying to enable Nene-chan to live without him in the Severance is a very new (and in his mind, noble) action, bespoke to Nene-chan…

I think the concept of himself and Tsukasa in oblivion together is already actualized, consummation happened, and I don't think Amane would let Tsukasa exist without him … I want to imagine right now anyway that he feels entitled to him somehow, maybe Tsukasa did something or expressed something in life which lead to Amane's virulent feeling of possession. I'm sure Tsukasa himself has never conceptualized his own future. After all, while Amane has some timelines he is alive and older, Tsukasa appears to have absolutely none. As far as we know, anyway.

I don't think Amane would conceptualize letting Tsukasa go, I think he feels simply that Tsukasa is 'his' and that is, that.

I think he wants Nene-chan to live, and would/will gladly explode himself and Tsukasa both to achieve it. I don't think Amane himself can really imagine things extremely world-breaking … I think only Tsukasa can think outside of the restrictions of the world, and only after all he's been through. I guess I think TSUKASA holds the most hopeful and beautiful ending in his own conceptualization, but I also think if anybody is planning to explode to enable a timeline of peace, it would be Tsukasa, who is staging everything here, and who has the most understanding of how to break the rules, and the most power to offer in his sacrifice. I kinda think Tsukasa .... ONLY sees his life as an expendable chip. I don't think he can think of himself any other way. (... and maybe Amane knows this and struggles to thwart it, lol)

I think /Tsukasa/ would want to die to enable Amane and Nene-chan to live together in a new timeline… euurhh this delusion was kind of fueled more by Narisokonai Snow White which, had a reject disowned twin brother, doing all he could to push a princess towards his 'more deserving' 'better' twin, while also planning imminent suicide… and that princess and the 'better' twin had an established romance, first.

further delusions though I think Tsukasa also loves Nene-chan, but is further behind in even understanding his own feelings of love, due to ah, lack of experience, lack of insight, and, ah, always thinking of his life only in relation to Amane's (disease), and seeing Nene-chan as ultimately Amane's lover (.... so he struggles to respectfully address his own feelings for her, or any feelings which don't service Amane's life first)