#neither of the people home could have safely gotten in to the groceries any way other than bending down and untying them

[thefeistydragon]

Normally I will tip delivery people no matter what, but if the way you're taking shortcuts on the job is endangering disabled people, especially my family, and making their lives harder? Especially if it's directly risking sending them to the hospital? You're not acting in solidarity with us, so I'm not about to act on solidarity with you. I know how hard customer service like that it but it's no excuse to make life hell for people who already have it hard enough.

[chosonore]

summary: your relationship with aventurine and veritas was easy, a haven of comfort and care - it was one that started gradually but quickly became an integral part in your life. despite your anxities and worries about what people would think about being in a relationship with both of them, you couldn't imagine a life without them

a/n: i haven't written anything in two years :') this is just 1.4k non-coherent word vomit from 3am - i was listening to emei's don't know about the world and it just created this fluffy image in my brain that i needed to get out. i didn't bother proofreading this lol also please don't expect any more or consistent writing, idk how to write anymore

“hey baby, how was work?” aventurine wrapped his arms around you, leaning down to kiss you gently. you inhaled his familiar scent, instantly feeling like you were at home. he swayed back and forth with you for a bit before letting you go, opening the car door for you. “i missed you.”

“i was only gone for a couple of hours.”

“i still missed you.” he gave you a grin before starting the car, driving off to your usual groceries store. it was a routine that you’d gotten used to, one that so effortlessly made you feel safe and loved. aventurine would pick you up from work, you’d get anything you needed from the store before heading home to veritas and your three critters. you’d have dinner together, talk about your day and have a cozy night. 

when you thought about it, you still didn’t quite understand how your relationship came to be. the three of you met at uni and quickly formed an inseparable, unlikely trio. though aventurine and veritas had always been very close despite their frequent bickering, you felt like you just kind of stumbled into this. you felt confusing at first, after all, you harboured feelings for both of them. one kiss had led to another, led to dates and more. it was a relief to know that they felt the same. neither of you had really talked about it as it just gradually grew into what it was now. 

it started with you staying at aventurine’s large penthouse apartment more and more frequently until he finally asked you to move in. then one day, as you were building furniture for your shared bedroom, veritas brought home the three critters. seemingly he had felt pity upon encountering them and couldn’t separate them whatsoever, so he just took them all home. and there it was, your little family. 

you knew you loved them as they did you. but recently, you’d noticed the stares of strangers and in particular your co-workers more. heard some whisperings about your unconventional relationship and it bugged you, even if you tried not to pay attention to it. it was slowly nagging on your soul and heart, making you question the relationship. was it really that odd? or frowned upon? could you really stay in this relationship, grow old and happy together?

“i booked a spa weekend for us at the end of the month!” aventurine’s rambling interrupted your trail of thoughts. he seemed excited as he always was whenever he could spoil you and veritas. “it was about time, both of you have been way too busy. i miss having my two loves all to myself.”

you snorted, taking his hand in yours. the way he incessantly spoiled you had made you uncomfortable at first until you realized that it was one of the ways he liked to express his love. he was happy being able to provide his loved ones with anything they could ask for, so that they would never have to worry about anything ever again. you lifted his hand to press a kiss against it. “i look forward to it.”

as you entered the apartment with aventurine, you were greeted by a rather calm and comfortable atmosphere. soft music was playing and when you rounded the corner, you could see veritas sitting on his armchair with his legs propped on the ottoman. the critters were sitting around him, staring at the book in his hands as if they could read as well. it was an adorable sight, the way their heads moved along with veritas’ hand movements whenever he flipped a page, the way he pet them every now and then. you wished you could secretly snap a photo without him noticing but he always did. then he would scowl and disappear from the frame, grumbling about hating having his photos taken. you never told him that you liked the way his cheeks slightly reddened whenever you did this.

“we’re back,” you called out, placing the bags on the counter before opening your arms and catching a critter that was hopping over to you. it made happy noises as you pet it gently. aventurine put the groceries away, turning slightly to peck veritas’ cheek as he padded over to you. “thought we could make some casserole.”

“we? you mean i cook and you watch,” veritas raised his eyebrows at aventurine. 

he pouted, feigning outrage. “babe, i would never dare to! besides, i know you don’t mind.” he wrapped his arms around veritas, waddling around with him as he watched him cook. veritas would never admit to it but you could tell that he enjoyed himself by the way he leaned to the side to peck aventurine’s lips or absentmindedly held his hands whenever he was monitoring the food. you prepared the critters’ food, smiling as they crowded around you and mewled hungrily. veritas would lean over to spoon feed you every now and then, asking for your opinion on the meal before he finished preparing it. 

after dinner, you spent your evening cuddled between veritas and aventurine as you watched your tv shows together before heading to bed.

aventurine was still showering when you crawled into bed with veritas, yawning tiredly. he propped himself up on his elbow, regarding you with an inquisitive look. “what’s wrong?” he asked pointedly, the kind of tone he used when he meant business and didn’t want any kind of dodging. you knew you couldn’t lie to him, he would see right through you. your first instinct was to say “nothing” but from the corner of your eyes, you could see him raising his eyebrows.

“i’ve just been noticing the looks we get when we’re out together. people stare or give judgemental looks, you know?” you started to explain, fidgeting anxiously. just thinking about this issue made your stomach churn. “then i heard some of my co-workers talk about us, saying judgemental things… some of it was kind of hurtful too.”

you glanced at him, suddenly feeling ashamed that you were even questioning anything. you knew that veritas and aventurine sincerely loved you and cared about you. “honestly, it made me question our relationship. if we can really grow old together like this or if it’s doomed to fail. whether it’s right for me to be with you.”

veritas looked at you as if you just said something unfathomably stupid. “there’s no reason to question what other people are saying. it’s your life to live, is it not?” he retorts and you can tell there’s a sigh in him that wants to escape. “are you happy? with this?” he gestures vaguely between you two and aventurine who just came out of the bathroom and joined you two in bed. “with us?”

“yes? of course i am,” you replied. aventurine glanced between you, trying to figure out what the conversation was about as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him.

“then don’t question it. your happiness is all that matters. why pay any mind to fools that have nothing better to do than talk about you behind your back?” veritas pulled the covers up and gave everyone a quick kiss before reaching out to turn off the lights. his words made you feel more at ease, slowly melting any doubts and anxieties you had been feeling the past few weeks. 

“who hurt you? do i have to make someone disappear?” aventurine asked yawning, placing his head on veritas’ chest. “i love you, always have, always will. what goes on in our relationship is none of their business. i think we’re a good team, aren’t we?”

you knew home was with them - they made you feel safe, loved and comfortable. you couldn’t imagine coming home to only one of them, it wouldn’t feel complete. you liked coming home to aventurine showing you little souvenirs he had brought from his business trips, seeing him play with the critters and the way his eyes lit up with a competitive gleam whenever you tried out new video games together. you liked when veritas sat with you and explained whatever new findings or research he was working on, his well contained enjoyment of being able to share it with you. the way he wrapped his arms around you and placed his chin on your head when he opened up to you and was vulnerable, as best as he could. you knew he didn’t like to be but was willing to in his own way. and you were grateful, for both of them.

when you watched veritas and aventurine bicker about who was hogging the blanket again, leaving the other cold, you knew you wouldn’t change a thing about this relationship for anything in the world. you loved them, with all your heart. there was nothing else you needed from this world - you were happy.

[luvnami]

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - wahh it’s here! can’t believe my brainrot of osamu teaching a cooking class turned into this long fic lol... i hope you enjoy it!! it was fun crafting the story with my beta readers and i put a lot of effort into it!!! itadakimasu <3

𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - @forgetou​ @amjustagirl​ (muacks 2x) + tq to everyone who helped me with the banner!!

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - you’re suna’s younger sibling, food, heartbreak, angst but happy ending, mentions of stabbing (joke), kita dances to ‘ice cream’ by selena gomez and blackpink, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood (brief), suna beats (redacted) up

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - miya osamu x gn!reader

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - you fall in love with miya osamu once more, but you’re afraid of getting hurt again.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 5535

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢

1. Cook the rice according to your rice cooker, then transfer the cooked rice to a separate bowl to cool it down.

“What ya want t’do is scorch the soy sauce.”

The class presses themselves against Osamu’s workbench as they scribble down notes on their recipe printouts. Their lips purse to ooh and aah at his cooking skills, though you’re pretty sure that they’re more interested in how his biceps flex when he flips the wok with a trained flick of the wrist. 

You stand at the very edge of the group. It’s better than getting close with a group of hungry housewives, really. If grocery store and department mall sales have ever told you anything, it’s to never get in the way of what a seasoned housewife wants. Unfortunately for you, you haven’t learnt the way of being a homemaker just yet. 

You’re unemployed, right in the middle of a month and a half-ish long transfer between jobs. You currently stay at your brother Suna’s place — which is really just an apartment filled with dirty laundry overflowing from its seams.

Turns out Suna himself is a bit of a gossip.  He told Kita who told Atsumu who told Osamu that you’re stuck at his place 24/7 with no friends or entertainment in the lovely city of Nagano. It’s just mountains and trees as far as the eye can see all around — and there’s only so many hikes you can take each week. 

“Why don’t you take a cookin’ class?” 

“Cookin’?” Your face screwed up in confusion. “ What for?”

“So that you can actually pull your weight around the house and make me something to eat.”

You chucked a pillow at his head and began to list all the things you did while staying at his apartment. Laundry, cleaning the floor, doing grocery shopping (even if it was only instant noodles and snacks), finding his disgustingly sweaty socks under the sofa and many other important chores, thank you very much.

Besides, you weren’t as eager when you saw who was the one that would be holding the classes. With his picture plastered across the front of a pamphlet, your heart dropped into the pit of your stomach. Years of chasing his dreams and training in a kitchen had done Osamu wonders. 

You had half a mind to smack Suna in the head with the yellow, glossy paper, but instead you quietly tucked it into a corner of the guest room to look at later. You were sure Suna hadn’t forgotten your history with Osamu just yet — but perhaps he assumed that enough time had passed to heal your wounds.

Either way, there’s no going back now. That’s how you ended up at Osamu’s ‘Cooking class for homemakers — you can do it too!’, except you aren’t a homemaker. You shift your weight from one foot to the other as the sound of sizzling soy sauce fills the air. Osamu pauses for a while before beginning to mix the rice with the sauce, wielding his spatula and wok expertly like weapons.

“Miya-san, you’re amazing!” someone gushes.

He lets out a bashful laugh. “This is nothing. I’m sure everyone will be able to do this by the end of class today!”

You wonder if he’s ever considered being a teacher. The demonstration on how to make shrimp fried rice is soon over and everyone returns to their benches, eager to try out the recipe. You are no different. Scurrying to your bench at the very back of the classroom, you exchange glances between the printed recipe handout and your tray of ingredients.

“Need any help?” 

Osamu’s voice and looming presence makes you jump.

“Woah! Careful there,” he chuckles, his fingers gently prying a knife out of your hands.

Unconsciously, you had raised it in shock when Osamu snuck up on you. The knife now lays safely on the tabletop and you feel the eyes of the entire class boring into you.

“Sorry, Miya-san. I didn’t see you,” you apologise meekly.

“Don’t worry about it, I shouldn't have scared ya like that. And no need for the formalities! You’re my friend’s sister, afta’ all.”

Oh goodness. You half expect the class to pick up their pots and pans and run at you right this moment. You swallow back the half hearted ‘Osamu-san’ that rises in your throat. Your heart trembles in your chest and for a second, the silence that weighs heavily between the both of you turns awkward. 

“Miya-san! Could you help me with this please?” 

You’ve never been so glad to hear Tachibana’s sickly shrill voice before. Osamu is quick to wave goodbye to you before hurrying over to her bench, a smile still on his face. You breathe a sigh of relief. 

You make a mental note to tell Suna that Osamu should just stick to placating those housewives and leave you the hell alone. The last thing you want is to have blackmail spread around the neighbourhood by these gossipy housewives, or worse, have their daughters hunt you down and chop you up into pieces.

Whatever. You’re just here to learn how to make shrimp fried rice and then go home to your annoying older brother. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be here for long. Miya Osamu just happens to be the local heartthrob, the handsome and eligible bachelor chased by anyone single and ready to mingle. You have absolutely nothing to do with someone so popular and good-looking. And for goodness sake, he’s your brother’s high school friend and your… Well, you know. 

Your face burns and you pick up the knife again, grip tightening on its handle. You begin chopping at the onions with renewed determination.

(Later on, when you bring back a tupperware of fried rice for Suna, he looks you in the eye and asks “Shrimp fried this rice?”.

You shoot him a glare.

“I fried this rice.”)

2. Prepare all the fillings that you are going to use and set aside, such as pickled plums or tuna mayo. Prepare your seaweed sheets.

What you don’t expect is for Miya Osamu to show up at your doorstep the next day with boxes of food, cartons of drinks and a very noisy brother of his in tow. 

“Rin, where can I leave the drinks?” Osamu yells.

“Rin, can I play your PS5?” Atsumu shouts.

You think that they are very different, the Miya twins. Suna takes a minute to finish putting on some clothes (you had answered the door, thankfully. No one wants to see Suna Rintarou in Pikachu boxers) before bursting out of his room.

He’s quick to smack Atsumu’s ‘dirty little setter hands’ away from his precious Playstation, directing Osamu to what constitutes the apartment’s kitchen — a second-hand fridge and the building-installed gas stove that works only if you hit it hard enough. You’re surprised that neither you or Suna haven't died of a house fire or gas poisoning by now.

It doesn’t take long for the other Inarizaki alumni to arrive at Suna’s apartment in a series of doorbell rings. Kita even brings along a large bottle of sake, to which everyone cheers loudly. You don’t understand why they had chosen Suna’s place to have a reunion party. Seriously, wouldn't Onigiri Miya or some other izakaya have been a better choice?

However, there’s free flow of drinks and lots of yummy snacks, so you decide to let the noise wash over you and stand by the food table to pick at the trays of pizza, fried chicken and other finger food. Aran even offers you a drink, smiling sweetly before going off to wrangle Atsumu from trying to initiate a beer chugging competition. Some things just never change, you suppose.

“Having fun?”

You jump and nearly drop the plate of food that you hold.

“You have a horrible habit of scaring people, Miya- Osamu.”

His first name comes out awkward, tumbling off of your tongue as you use a pair of chopsticks to carefully pile back some mentaiko mayonnaise onto a slice of tamagoyaki. Osamu settles into the crook of the kitchen counter next to you with a playful grin on his face.

“Do I really?”

“Don’t forget that the first time you did that, someone nearly got stabbed.”

You pop the tamagoyaki into your mouth. It’s delicious — the egg’s sweetness balances out the salty sauce. You wonder if there’s enough left on the tray for seconds. 

“How’s the reunion going?” you ask nonchalantly, and shuffle a few centimetres away from him.

You hope Osamu doesn’t notice that. He does, however, but chooses not to comment on it. He brings up a hand to scratch at his neck, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. He’s close enough for you to get a whiff of whatever cologne he’s wearing. Your head spins for a second. 

“Oh, none of us have gotten drunk just yet. I’m pretty sure we’ll be playing beer pong or something later on.”

You steel yourself against the urge to look at what Osamu is wearing. Don’t look, don’t look, definitely don’t look. Miya Osamu is, has been, a dangerous man to fall in love with. You can’t afford to- 

Perhaps gouging your eyes out would have been a better choice in theory. Even a glance from where you stand beside him is enough to see that not only is he wearing a tight, black T-shirt, Osamu also has a pair of sweatpants on. Is it a sin to wear sweatpants? Probably so, especially with the way it makes your throat run dry. 

“Beer pong, huh?” You try your best to mumble somewhat nonchalantly. “Who won the last time?”

“Kita.”

“Kita?!” you gasp. 

Even that’s enough to make you forget about Osamu and his stupid (and very sexy) sweatpants. 

“Yeah, right? That was the first time he participated. All of us got left drunk in the street, so we decided to do it at someone’s place this year.”

You let out a soft laugh at the thought of a bunch of grown men piled over each other on the road. You don’t particularly like the thought of cleaning up after them tonight, though. 

The lack of words between you and Osamu descends into snorts of laughter that trickle in from the tiny living room. Aran throws his head back, drink nearly spilling out of his cup. Ginjima laughs so loud you see Omiomi cover his ears and Suna holds his phone up, filming every second of Atsumu’s defeat. 

Osamu opens his mouth as if to ask you something.

“C’mon! Yer killin’ me, Kita-san!” Atsumu yells, socked feet and waving arms trying to match the onscreen character’s movements.

Kita, on the other hand, is scoring perfect marks without as much effort wasted. You giggle to yourself as he moves his hips, shaking them here and there. A small smile quirks his lips upwards as he finishes with a flawless ending move on ‘Ice Cream’, the Just Dance characters fading into oblivion on the screen. Atsumu crumbles to the floor in defeat. 

Osamu’s lips form a straight line as he watches you laugh along, raising a hand to cover your mouth. He curses Atsumu’s birth and swallows back his embarrassment.

“Did ya see that, Osamu? Oh- Kita-san is so good at everything!” you gush.

“Atsumu just sucks.”

When you laugh, Osamu thinks something in his chest lurches. Regret makes his head go foggy and leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

3. Place cling wrap over a rice bowl. Place some of the cooked rice over the centre of the cling wrap and make a well.

“No way ya got a love letter!” Atsumu yelled.

“Ya get yer fair share. We share t’same face, why shouldn’t I get some?” Osamu retorted, rolling his eyes. 

Suna watched as the twins began to gripe and argue about who was the better looking sibling again. Nothing unusual, really, given how this occurred every odd day of the week.

“S’gotta be a prank. No way someone likes a loser like you,” Suna mused.

In retaliation, Osamu threw him a stink eye. “You two are just jealous,” he sniffed.

The letter had been written on pretty pink paper, all hearts and cute handwriting as his secret admirer asked him to meet them on the roof after school. Not that Osamu wasn’t affected by it, of course. It always rubbed his ego the right way to know that someone preferred him over Atsumu. Though, it wasn’t like he was interested in anyone then. It only took a second before Osamu ripped the letter in half.

“Woah woah woah! Yer crazy! Whatcha gonna do if some pretty girl gave that to ya?” 

Atsumu’s eyes widened in shock, almost reaching forward to grab the shreds of letter that Osamu had torn up. 

“Does it matter? S’not like I’m interested in datin’ right now,” he replied.

“Seriously? What if she’s like, super duper hot!”

Osamu’s face screwed up. “Are ya a horndog?”

Just as Atsumu was about to shout at his dear brother again, you opened the door to their classroom and hurried in. You had a bento box in hand and a cute pout on your face as you placed it on Suna’s table.

“Rin! You forgot your bento at home again!” 

“Oh.” Suna blinked. “Thanks.”

“Seriously, you gotta stop forgetting your things! I can’t be bringing them to you all the time-”

“Hey, Suna.” Atsumu perked up, referring to you. “Would ya go on a date with Samu or me? Me, right? Definitely me!”

Your face flushed with heat. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

“‘Samu got a love letter in his shoe locker this morning. Cliche, huh?” your brother said between bites of his lunch. 

“Mm, yeah. Cliche,” you mumbled. 

You looked around anxiously for any sign of the love letter. Was it in Osamu’s bag? 

“Can ya believe he tore it up?” Atsumu laughed.

“What?”

Your heart felt like a stone in your chest as you froze, your blood running cold. 

“Yeah! This dumbass doesn’t know how t’appreciate anythin’,” he replied, smacking Osamu on the back of his head.

His twin responded with a muffled growl as he continued to scarf down his absurdly large bento. You fiddled with the cuffs of your sleeves, staring down at your feet. You were quick to bid the third years goodbye as you fled their classroom as an inexplicable ache spread through your chest. 

You didn’t focus on your classes for the rest of the day. The fact that Osamu had torn your love letter, written with all your heart and soul as you crumpled draft after draft last night, tipped you over the edge of your fantasies and had you plummeting straight into reality. 

“Oi.”

You looked up from your feet, glancing up at Suna. The both of you were swapping your indoor shoes for outdoor ones, but you had absentmindedly stopped in the middle of slipping your right foot into a shoe. It was nearing the time where they closed the school gates, so there weren’t many students around save for the odd volleyball club member.

“What’re you doing? Put your shoes on properly,” he huffed.

“Sorry,” you said quietly, and slammed the locker door shut once you were done.

You walked a few feet ahead of Suna as you approached the school gate. Your head drooped with each step, tears beginning to mist your eyes. You willed yourself to hold it in till you got home, till you were in the safety of your bedroom to start sobbing your little heart out. Suna tugged on your wrist.

“Are you crying?” he questioned.  

You shook your head quickly, rubbing your eyes with the back of your sleeve.

“Oi. Answer me.”

This time, his voice was a little softer, yet held a mixture of irritation and anger behind a crumbling wall of apathy. Who had been the one to make you cry? 

“It’s nothin’,” you choked out. “Let’s just go home.”

You turned your face to the side as tears continued to roll down your cheeks, muffled cries turning into heartbroken sobs. Something inside of Suna’s head clicked. 

“It’s Miya Osamu, isn’t it?” 

You had to bite on your lower lip to stop it from trembling.

“That bastard tore up your letter, didn’t he?”

You gave Suna the tiniest of nods. He let go of your wrist and whipped around, eyebrows furrowed together. Not wanting to date was one thing, but treating your confession like dog shit was something else. Fortunately for him, the Miya twins were changing their shoes in the getabako.

“‘Samu!” Suna yelled.

The gray haired male looked up with a face of confusion.

“Suna? Whaddya want-” Osamu wasn’t able to say anything more as Suna’s fist collided with his face.

Atsumu jumped back with a yelp as the both of them crashed to the ground. Your hands flew to cover your mouth.

“Rin! Stop it!” you cried out.

You dashed over, tripping over your own feet as you tried to pull Suna away from Osamu as they traded blows. It took the work of you, Atsumu and Ginjima (who had been unlucky enough to pass by) to tear the two apart, and even then Osamu was still struggling in his brother’s arms to be let go.

“What t’hell, man!” he snarled. 

Suna wiped his nose, glancing briefly at the crimson that stained his school uniform. The adrenaline was beginning to run low and pain began to settle into his fists and ribs. His shoulders heaved with each breath, and your hands clutched his shirt.

“Rin. No more, please,” you begged, pressing your forehead against his back. “No more.”

Suna hated the way your voice trembled as you spoke. He didn’t think it was fair for you to bear the burden of pain while Osamu got to walk away unscathed, leaving you broken in pieces. His fist curled up again.

“It’s not worth it, Rin.”

Suna took in a shaky, deep breath.

You were right.

Miya Osamu wasn’t worth it. 

4. Put about 1tbsp of the filling of your choice on the centre of the rice and cover it with rice.

A week comes and goes after the annual Inarizaki reunion. You’re still finding sticky stains on the floor, as well as food wrappers tossed behind the sofa. Suna sends the group chat a video of you yelling at all of them while wielding a mop with so much fervour Aran asks if you broke it. Atsumu actually apologises and Osamu offers to come over and help clean up. The entire group chat flames him immediately.

As per last week, you walk into Osamu’s cooking class at 2p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. It’s hot outside, droplets of perspiration rolling down your nape. The cool air-conditioning of the classroom is much appreciated and you don your apron behind the gaggle of housewives. You catch snippets of their conversation as they put their items in the cubbies provided. 

“Tanaka-san, did you see the mushrooms that were on sale this Monday?”

“My son is attending this cram school this summer. Here’s the address!”

“My father-in-law keeps complaining about the heat…”

“Good afternoon, everyone.”

“Miya-san!”

Everyone perks up when Osamu walks through the door. They’re quick to surround him, asking how his day had been. You look tired, take this ginseng drink! It really revitalises your spirits! Did you get a girlfriend yet, Miya-san? My daughter is single, you know! 

You watch as Osamu walks behind his bench, all smiles and “Is that so, Shigeru-san?”. Polite enough to please them, but not enough to make them think that he actually wants to go on a date with their 34 year-old daughter who’s a tired office worker looking out for potential husbands like a hawk. He lets out a heavy exhale, using his cap with the Onigiri Miya logo on it to fan himself.

“Hot today, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

You think that maybe he’s the one that’s making this summer so warm, especially with the way that his shirt clings to his figure and his flushed cheeks that make him look adorable. 

Wait.

You do a double take. Ah, adorable. You must have meant that heart-print apron that Tanaka is wearing today. It is pretty cute, and you wonder if you should ask her where she got it from later on. Definitely not Osamu with his perfect smile that would make anyone’s heart skip a beat, and definitely not when it’s directed at you.

“Gather around everyone! We’re going to be making gyoza today!”

The demonstration goes as usual — Osamu impresses the housewives, they gasp and someone even touches his forearm and asks “How did you get so strong, Miya-san?”. Not that you care, of course. You certainly don’t. What you’re more concerned about is how Osamu manages to make wrapping the fragile gyoza seem so easy. 

Your fingers pinch at the thick dough, eyebrows furrowed together. No matter what you do, your filling keeps spilling out of the wrapper and so you’ve opted to try out for a thicker piece this time. Not that it really matters — Suna will be the one suffering from food poisoning if it turns out bad, anyways.

“Ah, yer made it too thick,” Osamu says as he strolls over. 

You tense up as he leans over your shoulder, peeking at the chubby gyoza in your hands. You pretend not be affected by how close he is and continue pinching the wings of the dumpling shut.

“They keep bursting,” you sniff. 

“Maybe ya put t’much filling?” Osamu suggests. “Here, lemme show ya. Put tha’ one down and grab a new wrapper. Yeah, just like that.”

You stiffen as Osamu flours his hands and cradles your hands in his. 

“Here ya go. That’s t’much, scoop out some more. That’s it. Now gently…”

Blood rushes to your face as you feel the warmth of his skin seep into yours, his hands rough from years of training and cooking. Scars adorn the tips of his thick fingers and knuckles. You suddenly feel the urge to gently trace them with your thumb, to ask him how he got each one of them. 

Would he let you? Let you so close, that perhaps you would be the one to know every single thing about him?

“You did it!” Osamu says cheerfully. 

He suddenly pulls away, making you plummet back to reality. A perfectly made gyoza sits in your hands.

“I’m looking forward to tasting your gyoza later on. Now keep trying!” 

You’re left dumbfounded as Osamu walks away to help out the other housewives. They stammer and blush when they get too close, but he never holds their hands in his own, never smiles as gently as he does with you.

You place the gyoza on a pan and put the lid on with a little bit more force than what is necessary.

5. Wrap the cling wrap over the rice and squeeze and mould it into a triangle shape with your hands.

You try not to make contact with Osamu after that. Attending his cooking classes becomes a game of cat-and-mouse, where you try to tell him ‘I don’t need any help, Miya-san’ and watch him crawl away in defeat. In fact, you decide to skip the lesson on making hamburgs and instead spend the afternoon watching television.

After all, from what you’ve learnt in the past, Osamu is nothing more than trouble. You think it’s worth the sacrifice now to put some space between the both of you so that you don’t end up heartbroken a second time. 

Though, you do feel a little bad. Just a little bit. One day when Suna’s out at training, you hear the doorbell ring and Osamu’s voice ring through the genkan. You hear his feet shuffle by the door and a heavy thump outside before he leaves. You only open the door when you hear his car pull out of the apartment building’s carpark, and find a packed bento lunch for you in front.

You try to pretend that the bunny cut apples and sakura shaped carrot slices don’t mean anything.

“Ah, Suna-san! Where were you last week?” Tachibana titters as you step into class for the final lesson.

“I wasn’t feeling very well,” you lie. “I think I caught a summer cold.”

“Oh dear, that sounds terrible!” the ladies chorus together. 

You think they’re probably just glad that you didn’t get in the way of their beloved Miya-san. You tug your apron over your head, and ignore Osamu when he greets everyone. His eyes linger on you for a little too long during the demonstration — to the point that he actually burns the skin side of his salmon fillet.

Osamu skirts around your bench like a nervous puppy when the demonstration is over. You don’t seem particularly keen about talking to him, though the tips of your finger tremble when he finally plucks up the courage to stand next to you. It’s not close enough for your elbows to touch, but close enough that he can whisper to you without anyone else hearing him.

“Hey,” he begins, uncertain. His voice wavers slightly.

“Hey,” you reply, wary of what he might say. 

“Are you okay?”

You take a moment to think, tipping the sake bottle carefully to measure out an exact tablespoon of it. He wonders when your hands have seemed so delicate, so small. He aches to hold them in his own again. 

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good.”

It’s quiet, again. Just like that night in Suna’s apartment, with all the noise of the reunion going on around you, except this time it's the clanging of pans and utensils, paired with the chatter of many ladies. 

“I was thinking…” Osamu stares down at your hands, turning the measuring spoon over so that sake splashes onto the hot pan with a sizzle. “Maybe we could get a drink together after this?”

You cover the pan and watch its surface cloud up with condensation. You hide your shaking hands by digging them into the pockets of your apron. 

Osamu swallows. Perhaps he had been too direct with you; scared you off with how quickly he was advancing. Or did Suna tell you to be careful of him? That he didn’t want you falling in love with him a second time? There’s no lie about it, that Osamu had been a grade A asshole back in high school.

But he loves you now; has loved you since then. Would you be willing to give him a second chance?

“Osamu,” you breathe.

His shoulders relax slightly when you don’t call him by his last name. 

“I don’t know what to do.” 

Your voice comes out timid, scared. Osamu’s heart crumbles at the edges. He wonders if you would hate him if he reached out and took your hands in his once more. You’re both adults, perfectly capable of rational thinking if only your hearts hadn’t gotten in the way. Love hurts, they said. You want to agree. 

“We can start it out slow,” Osamu suggests.

“I’m supposed to start my new job next month. I won't be in Nagano for much longer.”

“I’m opening a branch in Tokyo.”

“I’ll be busy settling down. We might not get to see each other often enough.”

“A little is better than nothin’.”

“You’re my brother’s friend.”

“Now, yer just picking at nothing, babe. Didn’t you have a crush on me back in high school, too? That didn’t stop ya, did it?”

Your heart wrestles with your brain, insisting on comfort and that love will always come in the form of someone that isn’t Miya Osamu. You’ll find someone, but will they be better? Will they send food to your doorstep, or send you stupid photos of dogs he saw on the street? Will they chase after you relentlessly for years, will they be Osamu?

A lump forms in your throat and you wonder if this, has been, is love. You tear your heart out from within you and let it cling to your sleeve, as pathetic and scared it is. You don’t mind if it hurts. To never hurt is to never have lived, to never have loved. 

By this point, your eyes have misted up with tears and it hits you- You’re about to cry about your crush in the middle of a cooking class attended by middle-aged ladies. You’ve never been more embarrassed. 

“Really?” you whisper, looking up at Osamu with glittering eyes. 

He ignores the “Miya-san! I need your help!” that rings out in the background. He smiles gently.

“Yeah, really.”

A tear slips down your face. Osamu lets out a breathy chuckle as he swipes it away with his thumb, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

“We’ll talk properly after this, alright?” 

You nod numbly. You watch as he hurries off to Shigeru, gasping when he sees how she had completely butchered her fillet. He turns back to you, trying to hold in a snigger. 

You giggle.

Osamu thinks he wants to hear that laugh forever.

6. Remove the cling wrap and cover the bottom of the rice triangle with a nori sheet and set aside.

“One extra large bonito onigiri with spring onions!” you cry out from the counter.

Back in the kitchen, Osamu and another part-time worker scoop steaming rice out of large vats and use their hands to mould them into perfectly shaped triangles. A scoop of filling goes in and a strip of seaweed is wrapped hastily around the onigiri before it's sent to you to package. You place the onigiri carefully into a box and slip it into a paper bag with the shop’s logo on the front for a take-away order. 

The shop is filled with customers even on a Wednesday afternoon. The clock shows 2p.m., past lunch time, yet you can see a queue that snakes out of the shop and down the alleyway. 

Another long day ahead, you think to yourself. 

“It’s our turn!” a little girl squeals as she takes the bag from you, opening it up to peer at the huge onigiri inside. “Mama! ‘giri!” 

Her mother laughs and pats her head. “Don’t forget to say thank you, Haru.”

The girl turns to you, eyes sparkling. “‘Fank you, Miya-shan!” 

A cheery grin almost splits your face in half. Miya-san. Four years on and it still makes your stomach flip whenever you hear that Osamu’s last name has become yours. It was an easy decision for the both of you to get married, really. You had loved each other for years and all you wanted to do in the end was to spend the rest of your lives together.

You quit your office job just before you got married to help Osamu out with the new Onigiri Miya branches. It took some getting used to, but the familiar customers and bright smiles that you see just by serving onigiri each day makes it worth it. It’s tough work, no doubt. But doing what you enjoy with the man you love is more rewarding than it ever could be.

Though, it’s not like your relationship has always been smooth sailing. There are days when you bicker over something stupid (like how you always forget to close the lid of the rice cooker), or when Osamu insists that he isn’t overworking himself (although his eyebags tell otherwise). But love’s a recipe with a few secret ingredients, and you’ve come to master it over the years. 

“Come back soon!”

The shop is filled with the fragrant scent of freshly cooked rice and bonito flakes being stir-fried into furikake. Customers perch on tiny stools as they scarf down onigiri of different shapes and sizes, licking their fingers clean. A plush toy of Onigiri Miya’s mascot sits on the counter next to a potted plant that Atsumu bought (which is surprisingly still alive).

A photograph of the third Tokyo branch’s grand opening hangs on the wall. You and Osamu hold up a bouquet of flowers, smiling toothily at the camera, your wedding rings glinting in the sunlight. 

“One medium onigiri with tuna mayo, coming right up!”

You jump as Osamu shouts out the order suddenly and you nearly drop the onigiri that he hands to you.

“Woah, careful there,” he chuckles, a hand ghosting the small of your back.

“You have ‘ta stop scaring me, ‘Samu,” you huff and roll your eyes playfully.

Osamu grins at you and the edges of his eyes crinkle up. You place the onigiri safely into its packaging and place it on the counter for a customer to collect, before turning back to plant a kiss on his cheek. Osamu’s face flushes pink and he hurries away, mumbling something about bonito flakes.

Your heart soars in your chest.

Yeah, it has been, will be, worth it. 

7. Repeat the same steps as above to use the rest of the rice with other fillings that you prepared.

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Gojo Satoru general headcanons

Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.

Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.

He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.

All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.

Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong. 

This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.

That doesn't mean he did the work tho

Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work

Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him

A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone

Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman

Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because

He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further 

He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.

Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop

Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay

He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys

He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight

It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?

He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically

He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it

He has really cold hands and feet

He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o

He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o

It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry

Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"

He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face

He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair

He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts

No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses

His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month

They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses

Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on

Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind

Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle. 

He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know

He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.

So about his driver's license;

He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.

Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets

It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad

This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though

He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-

Gojo has a key

You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did 

Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious

He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess

The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.

He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror

Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes

Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck

He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.

Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru

Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.

He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed 

He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-

It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out. 

Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.

He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral

Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in

Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it

Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it

Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine

Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"

I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there

As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco

He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever

He will literally just stare at you and giggle

It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why

Its because he respects women

He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.

The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one 

He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art" 

When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.

He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.

Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess

He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on 

He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored

This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored

He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power

I canon him as being borderline sadistic

This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated

White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.

He is Sakata Gintoki

He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og

He's hella bilingual

Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine 

He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan

Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months

Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week

Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality

Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.

Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o

Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn

[13uswntimagines]

Never-Ending Adventure (Christen x reader)

Request: R is allergic to animals and she really wants a pet. So the team get her a pet rock from amazon. But let’s be real Ashlyn loses it (ash and ali are her team mom) and everyone is trying to find it while Christen takes her on a date to keep her busy while they look for it

Author’s note: Special thanks to @literaryhedgehog​

“What do you mean you lost Fred?” Christen hissed up the stairs at Ashlyn and Pino, from where they had gotten her attention. All three women glanced back to the kitchen, where you were putting groceries away, but since you hadn’t reacted they returned back to the matter at hand. 

“It was an accident. He just disappeared,” Ashlyn mumbled miserably, her hand scrubbing down her face. One second your beloved pet had been tucked safely inside her suitcase and the next he was gone. 

“He’s a rock. It’s not like he can walk off on his own,” Christen ground out, gritting her teeth. It didn’t matter if Fred couldn’t love you back, you were attached to the googly-eyed rock and his painted face. 

“I would like to remind you, I advocated for her getting her a pet fish in the first place. You can’t be allergic to fish dandruff, and fish are harder to lose track of than a piece of stone.” Tobin added, coming up behind Ashlyn. You were deadly allergic to animals but insisted you wanted a pet. The team had compromised and gotten you a pet rock off of Amazon as a joke. 

“But that’s not the point,” Pino said quickly before Christen could respond. “We know you just got back from getting groceries but we need you to take Y/N on a date until we can find Fred.”

“You want me to distract her so you two can figure out how to replace Mr. Flinstone before she notices?” Christen asked, quirking her eyebrow up. The two of you were in a weird place between friend and girlfriend, but neither of you had made a move yet per se. Doing it to save the team's ass seemed like a stretch. 

“Why do you think we asked her to come downstairs and put groceries away when it is clearly Sonnett’s turn? We’re stalling for time!”

“Here,” Tierna said, stuffing a book into Christen’s hands, “One of the coaches’ kids was selling these coupon books for a fundraiser. You can use the different activities in there as inspiration for where to go.”

“And whatever the coupons don’t pay for we’ll pay you back. Promise,” Tobin said quickly. 

“You and y/n need to get your stuff together and become a couple anyway…” Pino added with a wave of her hand. Christen sighed, squeezing her eyes shut. 

“Fine. But only because I know Y/N would be really stressed out if she found out Fred was gone.” 

“Thank you thank you thank you! Okay, you go in and we’ll get started.” And with that Christen was shoved back into the kitchen.

****

You were having an amazing time. Your lunch date with Christen had turned into a walk in the park, a coffee, and now a casual stroll through the aquarium. You had always been interested in marine life, and you were having a blast nerding out. (Christen also thought your fun facts about each of the animals was adorable- well the way your face lit up when you rambled was). 

“So are we heading to another random location, or is it safe to go back to the house yet?” You asked with a smirk, stepping through the shark tunnel towards the reef fish exhibit. 

Christen froze, where she was looking at the lionfish tank. “Is… this your way of saying you don’t know any facts about lionfish?” she said, evasively. Fuck. She thought she was being more subtle than that. 

“Well, lionfish inject their venom through the spines in their back. When the skin over the spike gets pushed down, it pushes in the venom sack. Fun fact, the spine is like a hypodermic needle,” You said, pointing out the spikes you were talking about and staring wistfully into the tank.“But you’ve been checking your phone since the stingrays, and I’m guessing it’s because we’re more than halfway through the aquarium,” You finished, looking pointedly at Christen. 

“Maybe… I was checking to see if we had enough time before the aquarium closed to eat dinner at their seafood restaurant?” 

“So… they’re taking way too long to set up whatever prank they’re planning,” You nodded. 

“Why do you think someone’s setting up a prank?” Christen said, laughing in a super believable way. Wow, she was bad at this. “Hey look, are those clownfish?”

You raised your eyebrow at the woman. Emily, Ashlyn, Pino, and Kelley all in one house just spelled trouble. It was more probable they were setting up some stupid stunt to video for the fans than them just hanging out like normal people and watching a movie. Also, the fact that Christen had been taking you on different adventures for close to five hours now was suspicious. 

“I know you probably just did this because you got roped into whatever stunt they’re planning on pulling on me, but I had a really nice time with you today,” you said, looping your arm through hers, and leaning ahead on her shoulder. Christen straightened up slightly at the touch. “If you were actually serious about that dinner I don’t mind paying.” 

“My suggestion, so I’m paying and I was totally serious. I didn’t just ask you out because of those knuckleheads. I like you too,” Christen said soft, gripping your arm a little tighter, trying to convey just how much she wanted to be here. 

“Okay, if you’re sure. Hey, want to take a selfie together in front of one of the tanks? you know to commemorate our endless adventure?” 

“Yeah, I wanna remember the never-ending date forever,” Christen said, her eyes a little gooey at your cuteness, pointing towards the octopus tank. 

You pulled her close to you, angling the camera so the blue-ringed octopus was in the shot. And just as you clicked the button, you stood up quickly on your tiptoes to kiss her on the cheek. You also took a shot of the laughter that followed. The one of her turning to kiss you was a bit more of a blur though.

***

“Oh, before we go, can you grab one of me with the Red-sea rockfish?” You asked, pointing at the redfish in the tank. 

“Yeah, sure!” Christen took your phone from you and swiped it to get to the camera, almost missing you reaching into your pocket and pulling out a small painted rock. 

“Okay three, two- wait, is that Fred!?!”

You lowered your hand from where you had posed with Fred next to your cheek. “Yeah? I had him in my pocket this morning, so I didn’t lose him while I cleaned my desk, but forgot about it until we were about to go through the metal detectors a few hours ago. Why?”

“I’m pretty sure Ashlyn has the entire team scouring the house to try and find him,” Christen snorted, shaking her head. It was hilarious you were nervous about them pulling a prank on you when it seemed you had pulled an even better one on them. 

“Oh,” you said. Some things were beginning to make sense now. “So you’ve been checking your phone so they could tell you when it was safe to come home? Once they found Fred?’

“Maybe...” Christen said blushing just a little bit. 

“Okay. Well, you’d better call and let them know you found him. After we get ice cream.”

[xneens]

love me, hate me - part two

Warnings: explicit sexual content, swearing

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: Christmas comes around and Ransom wants you more than ever.

part one

"You're telling me you actually want to date this guy? The one who can't even make you cum?" you asked, licking the remaining frosting from your finger. You placed the messy bowl in the sink, watching your best friend trying—and failing—to get the egg shells out of the mixture.

Meg gave up, dumping the brownie batter down the sink with the water running, fed up with the shells. "Yeah, but sex isn't everything, you know. I don't know—it's just this guy isn't like my exes. He genuinely cares about my feelings, and doesn't control me. Besides, he made me cum a few times. He's nice."

With Mariah Carey's Christmas music playing in the background, the miniature Christmas tree on the table, and the snow falling, the Thrombey household felt festive. Although, the people bundled up and arguing in the next room—not so much. Yet, neither of you cared while you continued to work, helping Martha out, on the desserts. It wasn't going as well as planned, but you took it as a positive considering you hadn't started a fire. Yet.

"Ah, yes, nice. Can't relate. I'm currently attracted to assholes who have anger issues." you commented, passing Meg the flour once again. Your creation was in the oven, and all you hoped was that no one got food poisoning because of it. Even you couldn't live with the guilt of Ransom, or his touchy father, throwing up Christmas morning.

"Currently?" Meg asked, raising an eyebrow, getting eggs out of the fridge for the hundredth time. She glanced at the direction of the door, the sound of it opening drawing both of your attention. "I'm pretty sure your daddy issues didn't just happen recently. Speaking of which, you may be the main reason Ransom decided to come back for Christmas instead chasing a model around."

You rolled your eyes, sitting back in your chair while contemplating whether or not it's too late to ditch. While Ransom was hot, his spoiled attitude wasn't worth tolerating for a quick fuck. With sarcasm dripping, you sighed. "Oh, how wonderful. 'Cause, that's exactly what I need right now."

Meg chuckled, focusing on the task at hand, trying not get shells in the mixture again. She had held off on mixing the dry stuff, much to your dismay, but to her it made sense to get the hard part out of the way so it wouldn't fuck everything up. Your best friend had just finished cracking her last egg when Harlan walked into the kitchen, Ransom trailing a few feet behind him. The playboy's eyes immediately landed on you, yet you didn't meet his, too preoccupied with the phone in your hands.

Harlan's slight frown lifted into a smile, surveying how messy the kitchen had gotten. "My, my, I wasn't aware a cake had exploded in my kitchen."

Looking up, you grinned at the old man, the smile reaching your eyes until you saw who was behind him. Ignoring Ransom, you giggled at Harlan's remark. "You call it a mess, we call it baking."

"As long as you ladies are having fun." Harlan replied, patting your shoulder before heading off towards his office, too tired to deal with his dysfunctional family at the moment.

Ransom lingered, walking up to you, a smirk impended on his face. Yet, you refocused you're attention back on your phone while Meg left the room, her apron still attached to her. You didn't question her sudden disappearance, knowing she was just as annoyed at Ransom's presence. The man in question peeked over you shoulder to see your screen showing off another man's dick, the words right below it explicit.

His jaw clenched in jealousy. Much to his chagrin, the man's dick was just as big as his own. But, he kept the icy exterior up. "Would it be offensive to ask whether or not your baking will make me sick this evening?"

You scoffed without looking up, tapping out of the dick pic your previous hook up had sent. "Since when do you care if you're offensive or not? Who are you, and what have you done to Ransom Drysdale?"

Ransom shrugged, leaning against the kitchen island while facing your annoyed expression. His smug behavior got under your skin, and the bastard was well aware. "Maybe all this Christmas spirit got into me. Or maybe I'm trying to be nice."

You raised an eyebrow, getting off your chair, rushing to the window, pretending to be looking for something. After a few seconds, Ransom's curiosity got the best of him and he joined you, looking for anything unusual outside. The snow-covered land showed nothing out of the ordinary, furthering Ransom's confusion.

"What are you looking at? I can't see anything." he said, squinting at the general direction you had look at.

Shrugging, you moved back to your seat, propping your elbows on the back of the chair, allowing a smug smirk lift your lips. "I thought pigs were flying. Ransom Drysdale isn't capable of being nice, yet alone say the word. I'm shocked hell hadn't freeze over. Yet."

The playboy rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he took your body in, wrapped in his favorite color, the dress hugging your curves. "What's a guy have to do to be taken seriously with you? You and I both know I can give you everything you want, and more."

"Are you trying to buy me right now?" you asked, half teasing, half annoyed. Ransom could not take a hint, and you hated the fact that he didn't back off despite the sarcasm and insults you threw his way.

"I'm trying to be nice but you're making it really hard." Ransom answered, his cockiness wearing off. He was growing frustrated the more you looked at him like he was a piece of trash. All you wanted him to be was nice, now that he was trying to be, you wouldn't believe his intentions, despite wanting to prove it to you.

Pursing your lips, you tapped your finger against the table, the acrylic nail making a clicking noise. "You wanna prove it? Fine. You've got til midnight tonight. If you're unable to change my mind, you have to buy me my spring break vacation, all the fees and expenses."

"And if I do change your mind..." Ransom smirked, brushing a stray hair behind your ear, earning a half-hearted glare. "... you have to go on a date with me."

Ransom nearly burst out laughing from your shocked expression, the genuine look of surprised slapped on your face with the words. You shut your hanging jaw, still not processing what he was saying. "Excuse me?"

"You have to go on a date with me if I convince you that I'm willing to change my, and I quote, 'bratty and douchebag ways.' An actual date where we sit down, eat dinner, talk about our feelings, and get drunk. Whatever happens, happens." Ransom purred, placing a finger on your bottom lip. You slapped his hand away, and his smirked grew. "Are you going to back out of this already, princess?"

It was your stubborn side that made agree, pressing your lips into a thin line, you grabbed Ransom's hand, shaking it. He raised an eyebrow while you sighed. "You're on. Hope you have enough money to pay for a lengthy trip. I plan on drinking every bottle of wine in Italy."

Despite your baking debacle, you left the kitchen, leaving Meg's monstrous creation on the counter along with Ransom. You went into the living room, trying to find the girl in question when you happened to stumble upon Richard. He barely got to say a word before you turned around, and left the pervert behind. It was always a puzzle how Ransom turned out so hot with Richard and Linda as parents.

Climbing the stairs, you heard the family arguing growing quieter with each step. The second floor was almost a safe haven considering Harlan didn't let anyone raise their voice in the upper level, making it the only quiet place in the house, safe from any Thrombey fights. It was a wonder how the family hadn't murdered each other yet; it was only a matter of time.

Unable to find Meg in your shared room, you sighed, patting your body to find your phone only to realize you left it in the kitchen. With Ransom.

"Looking for this?" Ransom held out your phone, coming up behind you. His usual smirk was gone, a small, genuine smile in its place. It made him look less arrogant.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

You took your phone back, half expecting him to take it back just as you wrapped your fingers around it. But he didn't. You realized he was pulling out all the stops, all the little things that you found annoying was gone. He was acting. Eyes narrowing, you unlocked your phone, studying him. "Thanks. I think."

"Meg is helping the Brazilian maid." Ransom answered your silent question. Your thumb hovered her contact, going back to the home screen. Your eyebrows had risen by his mis-categorization of Martha's race and employment. "Pretty sure they went to the grocery store or something."

"Oh, okay." you replied lamely, putting your phone in your back pocket, the tight jeans making it nearly impossible. Opening the door to your room, you stepped in, not giving Ransom another look. But he followed inside, making you turn around. "Do you need something?"

Ransom stuffed his hands in his pockets, the cream-colored sweater shifting with the gesture. "You didn't exactly give me much time to prove myself. And looking around, we're all alone. I can't think of a better time."

As much as you hated to admit it, he had a point. The bet was a bit unfair considering how stubborn you were, and the amount of time he had to convince you. But it was a bit unsettling seeing Ransom try so hard, let alone being nice. You nodded, agreeing. "Fine, but can I change first? I'd rather not be covered in flour while you try to seduce me."

"You and I both know I wouldn't seduce you before dinner. There's no way in hell I'd treat you like the others." he mumbled to himself, but you heard it. Clearing his throat, he stepped out of the room. "Yeah, I'll be outside. Waiting. Take your time."

As soon as the door closed, you looked around the room to check if you were being pranked, expecting Ashton Kutcher to burst out of the closet along with a bunch of cameramen. After a few seconds, you came to the conclusion that Supernatural was in this universe, deciding "Ransom" was a shapeshifter or a demon possessed him. It was the only reasonable explanation.

Reaching for the hem of your top, pulling it off in one swift move, dropping it on the bed. Your jeans piling on top, allowing your legs to breathe. Despite Joni's hippie side, she had let Meg sneak in a few joints, the smell becoming stronger as you neared both your suitcases. You didn't think Harlan would be too please to have weed in his house, no matter how lenient he is.

You took your time, a little baffled by what to wear. Ransom hadn't exactly given you an agenda on his plans, leaving you to grab a clean pair of black jeans, and a classy, yet simple, red top. You looked decent enough to fit in a nice restaurant, but casual in case Ransom decided he wanted McDonald's, and most importantly: warm. If he wanted to take you to the North Pole, then he'd have to give you his cozy-looking sweater.

You opened the door, the sight of Ransom rocking on his heels greeting you. His back was to you, his hands inside his pockets as he looked out the window, frost crawling along the edges. It genuinely concerned you how much this man was acting; if you didn't know better, you'd think it was real.

Clearing your throat, you watched him jump in surprise, quickly turning to you. Raising an eyebrow, you tucked your phone in your pocket, meeting his warm, blue eyes. "I'm ready."

"Okay." said Ransom, motioning for you to follow him. You walked down the stairs without a word, the air becoming thick as you walked behind him. The sweater did little to no good disguising his broad shoulders, the muscles somehow still visible under the clothing.

As soon as you reached the bottom, you glanced around, the Thrombey fighting becoming louder with each second. It wouldn't be long before one of them stormed out of the room, muttering a curse under their breath. You'd seen all of them do it at least once. You crossed your arms, wary of whatever Ransom was planning. "Be honest, you're not just going to drive me off to the middle of the woods and murder me, are you?"

Ransom chuckled, giving you a wink as he held his hand out. Without hesitation, you took it. "If I was planning to murder you, I wouldn't do it in the woods. If you're going to die, it's going to be epic."

"Oh, well, that makes me feel better." you sneered sarcastically, instantly rolling your eyes. In the back of your mind, you pondered how long it would take for your eyes to get stuck in your brain with the amount of times you rolled them at Ransom.

He led you towards the door, smirking. "You ready?"

"No. Let's go."

—

"Fuck, baby."

He spent a few moments just staring at your spread pussy, amazed and aching for you more than he ever ached for anything.

"Don't you know why I want you to see it, Ransom?"

Ransom just shook his head without taking his eyes off the your pneumatic body.

"Because it's yours," you sighed. "All yours, baby. You're the one I've been keeping it nice and fresh for."

"Fuck," he muttered.

He kept staring at you, waiting for you to rub you pussy again, but you didn't. You just kept holding it spread.

"Don't you wanna taste me, Ransom?" you purred, barely above a whisper. "C'mon, baby, please. I want you to lick it so bad. I love you so much and I want to give you everything that belongs to you."

The playboy was all but paralyzed by your words. He finally dragged his eyes off your open pussy and looked at your face. You were staring back at him with a glazed look in your eyes. His solid cock was pulsing hard in the tight grip of his fist. No girl had ever looked at him the way you were at that very moment, yet at the same time, he knew you were playing with the hottest kind of fire there was.

"Sweetheart, you know this wasn't the deal." he whispered, distracted.

You smirked. "But you still won."

He finished the thought by leaning down and sliding his tongue up and over your generously offered pussy. You pulled in a sharp gasp when Ransom's tongue lit up your heavily tingling pussy. Your hips rolled instantly in response, your gasps turning to moans while Ransom eagerly slathered his tongue all around your creamily delicious slit. He soon focused his attention on your clit and slipped a finger up inside your hole at the same time.

The man's finger curled and twisted inside you, searching for you g spot while he suckled and lapped at your fully swollen clit. You could barely form words as you gasped and moaned, your luscious body now writhing with desire.

Your pussy oozed heavily the more he licked and fingered you. Your cream was sweet, tangy and intensely intoxicating. Ransom probed at your hole with his finger and the tip of his tongue at the same time, but he soon drew his soaking wet finger out of your hole and wedged it between your ass cheeks, searching for your puckered rimhole.

You gasped deeply and lifted your legs up higher, giving Ransom better access to your asshole. He massaged your tight bud with his honey-coated finger and made deep, hungry love to your pussy with his mouth.

"God god god god, Ransom!" you cried, your hips rolling harder and harder against the man's mouth and finger.

Your body went tense for a few moments and then relaxed. Ransom backed off and watched you languish after your orgasm, pausing briefly to catch your breath. Then you shifted your body and took the hem of your outfit into your hands and peeled it off over your head. Ransom pulled off his T shirt and slid over on top of your luscious body, grinding his rock-hard cock against your pussy as he lowered himself to kiss you.

You whimpered while Ransom's chest mashed down against your heavy, naked tits. They felt amazing against his body, and he was beyond reason when the your mouth opened and set your tongue into motion against his.

Ransom had never kissed any girl so hard or hungrily in his life. Nor had any kissed him back the way you had. At the same time, you were grinding your slick, wet pussy against his cock as hard as he was grinding against you. Then he squeezed his hands in between them and grasped at your tits, kneading them eagerly with his strong hands.

He released your mouth and said," Baby girl, reach down there and put my cock inside you for me. I need that pussy bad, but I can't bring myself to let go of these fantastic tits now that I finally have my hands on them."

You giggled happily and kissed him again while you worked your hands down between your naked bodies. Finally, you got one hand on your pussy and spreading yourself open while you wrapped the other around Ransom's thick cock.

"Oh geezus, fuck, Ransom, you're so fucking hard," you cooed. "Oh god fuck me deep."

You tucked Ransom's cock head into your wet maw and he began grinding his shaft deeper into your sheath. Your pussy felt so tight and creamy, and you both groaned as his rock-hard flesh gradually filled your body. You looked at each other in disbelief, even though nothing had ever felt more right or natural.

Ransom growled as he began to pump his cock in and out of your spectacular body with long strokes. His grip on your tits went tighter and he lowered his head to suck and lick on your swollen nipples.

You whimpered with pleasure, wrapping your legs around his hips and grinding your pussy hard against his thrusting cock. It wasn't long before he was straining to hold on and keep fucking you deep and hard. You didn't make it any easier because of the way you were moaning and your cunt squeezed his pounding cock every time you came.

Finally, Ransom raised himself up on his hands while he pumped your succulent pussy hole as hard and fast as he could, watching your pretty face twist with pleasure while your tits heaved with the force of his lunging body.

"Gimme your cum, baby. I want it in me...fuck!"

With a final, frenzied volley of full body thrusts, Ransom's pulsing cock exploded in your pussy, filling you with a hot flow of jetting spunk.

After, they spent a long time kissing while Ransom caressed the your beautiful tits. He kept his cock buried inside you until his flesh finally started to relax.

You fell asleep in each other's arms, and Ransom knew he had the girl he always needed right there with him. He had been right, all the sarcastic comments and stupid fights had been worth it.

In the morning, Ransom awoke from a haze of dreams to look down and find you lying between his legs with your lips sliding up and down his swollen cock. When you realized he was awake and watching you, you released his big cock from your mouth, giving his shaft a long lick before greeting him.

"Merry Christmas, Ransom."

[sarahlynnirl]

Losing my best friend - Sugar Daddy culture is not empowering

I finally feel strong enough to talk about this and hopefully get some love, support, and reassurance from other women who agree that this is fucked up. I’ve never been “terfy on main” before so here goes. (TW child abuse + SA but no graphic descriptions of SA)

My mother is a narcissist who financially and emotionally abused my father and myself, with some additional physical abuse of me, for as long as I can remember. My dad made plenty of money but my mom controlled it all and made sure it didn’t go towards anything for me beyond the bare minimum required not to look obviously guilty of child abuse and neglect. I met Kiara (not her real name) when I was a junior in highschool and she was a freshman. Her mom was a single Korean woman doing her best to support Kiara and her 2 sisters while also running a Korean restaurant. My first jobs were a summer camp counselor and fitting room attendant at Forever 21. I would spend the last scraps of my paycheck making sure Kiara was able to order a full meal when our friends went out to dinner, buying her little gifts, and generally trying to keep us both as happy and healthy as possible.

When Kiara graduated highschool her mom drove her into Koreatown New Jersey, got her a room in the apartment of an acquaintance, and basically left her to fend for herself. Kiara spoke barely any Korean. She began working at a Korean salon where she met Ariana (not her real name). She had a NY cosmetology license, not an NJ one, while Ariana was an illegal immigrant from Korea so they were both overworked, underpaid, forced to work overtime, paid under minimum wage, and deprived of their tips. They couldn’t report or complain about this since they were both working illegally.

Kiara had to pay rent for the one room she occupied despite her land lady yelling at her, walking into her room while she slept, banning her from having friends over, and reporting to her mom if she spoke to a guy on the phone or a guy dropped her off. I was working at a restaurant in my college town on top of my classes and doing my best to keep surprising her with little gifts, but neither of us had enough disposable income to afford to visit each other. This was really difficult for me as she was my favorite person in the world and I was used to spending every second with her when we both lived in upstate NY. Ariana got them both to start using SeekingArrangement for one time meet ups with Sugar Daddies where they were paid anywhere from $200-2000 for sex. “The first time I ever did it I walked out of the hotel and just screamed because I was so disgusted and I was thinking about his wrinkly skin touching mine and all I wanted to do was get in the shower and scrub it off but I had $1000 cash in my hand for a couple hours of work which was so crazy and kinda made it all worth it ya know?” - Ariana to me

I was immediately skeptical and a little grossed out but Kiara genuinely seemed happier. She was buying new clothes for herself, ordering food to the apartment when she was hungry, and taking trips into NYC to have fun with Ariana and her friends. By the beginning of the summer of 2019, Kiara had found the Sugar Daddy who she would establish a long term agreement with and who ultimately ended up completely supporting her. I’m not going to say his name here but if people want to know it just ask, I am willing to share. He moved her into a much nicer much bigger apartment with Ariana as her roommate. He paid for me to fly up and visit her, and all of our activities during this vacation. I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry. I wish I shoved the money back in her hand before it was too late, I wish I worked harder and longer hours and got us an apartment in Florida and paid both of our rent. I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t listen to my instincts and allowed her to brush off my concerns. It was the most freedom we had ever had, I ran around NYC by myself while she was at work, and my ex took the bus to NJ from upstate NY and joined us for a few days. I feel so selfish but I also didn’t know how bad things would get.

One night Kiara and I went to NYC for dinner with her SD and she took the bus back to the apartment because she had to work early the next morning. It made sense for me to stay in the city because I was supposed to visit my friend at NYU the next morning. In the Uber to his apartment alone with him he was drunk and high and I very clearly looked scared shitless. At this point she was 19 (but she had looked that way since age 17 and I doubt he would have minded if she was lying about her age), I was 21 and he was 44. He seemed offended by my discomfort and was basically like “jeez relax I’m not gonna touch you, I really care about Kiara I think she’s so amazing, just go to the guest room and sleep, make a left to walk to NYU when you wake up.” I peaced the fuck out of there early the next morning.

After that summer Kiara and Ariana quit their jobs at the Korean salon and sugaring became their sole incomes. Ariana was still doing one time meet ups, not nearly as financially stable as Kiara, and got herself into a lot of credit card debt that to my knowledge she’s still in. At this point Kiara was flying down and staying with me in Florida so often that people at my college thought she went there too. I also wasn’t working at this point because college had gotten harder and my ex was fucking up my mental health real bad. He had given me a coke problem and Kiara sending me “grocery money” was enabling me to continue. I wasn’t honest with her about where all the money was going. During Halloween week we didn’t know that she couldn’t just snort molly (MDMA) with the frequency I was doing coke, she ODed, my guy best friend took us to the ER, it was so fucking scary, she got IV fluids for 2 hours and made a full recovery, she stopped doing molly, I kept doing coke. I’m so sorry :(

In November her SD paid for us to take a trip to Cancun Mexico. He was with us for the first part of the trip and this is where things started to get really bad. He tried to be my friend and act the way a boyfriend of my best friend who was my age would, but it was creepy and wrong and I was so uncomfortable. He asked about my drug use in a way that was gross and shamey and basically him seeing me as the “coke whore” stereotype...while continuing to buy me more coke. He also brought and gave us ecstasy pills. He asked really invasive questions about my relationship with my ex, why I stayed, my sex life, etc. It felt like an uncle asking me these questions, I did NOT wanna talk about any of this with him. But from what I did say it was very clear to someone with 44 years of life experience that I had an abusive mother, an addictive personality, and was in an unhealthy relationship. He offered to set me up with an SD friend of his looking for a sugar baby. I of course declined because I always knew this was a boundary I wasn’t willing to cross. No matter how bad my addictions got I would NOT give up that piece of myself in return for money.

In this part of Mexico, drugs that were only given with a prescription in the US were available over the counter. Kiara and I got a little box of 1mg Xanax with my money. My ex had given us Xanax a couple times in NY and we had fun with it, but at this point in time we did NOT have a problem with it. We had bought one bar, broken it in half, and each took half one night of Halloween week and called it “xanpires”, but this wasn’t something we were scripted or buying regularly from plugs. We went to dinner with her SD, we got up to go to the bathroom, and she immediately slipped and hit the ground. I was like woah did you take one of the xans and forget? Because we were supposed to tell each other if we were taking one so we could look out for each other. I was never mad at her! I never wanted money from her! I was just a little concerned, and once I determined that she was safe we thought it was kinda funny that she had taken a xan without realizing and started joking around about it. Her SD of course didn’t understand how a 19 year old and 21 year old girl joke with each other because he was a creepy old man, decided that we were “arguing”, and got up from the restaurant, walked across the street, bought a 90 count bottle of 2mg xans and gave it to me. This was honestly the most irresponsible way someone has ever treated me in my life, and this is coming from someone with an abusive and neglectful parent. Google “benzo withdrawal” if you’re not familiar with it.

We went to a different hotel, and Kiara and I both took xans and blacked out. I passed out on the guest bed, while Kiara was awake but in a conscious blackout. I woke up on the couch on the balcony (which was fine, it was comfy and I saw the sunrise over the beach. The gross part was that meant her SD had picked me up, put his hands on my body while I was unconscious and carried me out there). I remembered that at one point I had woken up, wanted to go to the bathroom or get something from inside, caught a glimpse of what I thought was them having sex, and went back outside. I mentioned it to Kiara and she had no memory of it whatsoever, she thought all she had done was gone to sleep. She was rightfully pissed the fuck off that her SD had taken advantage and done things with her while she was blacked, screamed at him, he gave us a half ass apology, and bought us more stuff (buying our silence). He finally flew home and we got to enjoy the trip with just each other, but I was careless with the dosage of a drug called tramadol, and I ODed with my head in her lap...I’m sorry. When I woke up I was hallucinating, hearing voices, crying hysterically and terrified. Kiara called my ex who asked how many mg I took, told us I was 100mg short of the amount that would require medical attention, made me laugh, and told me to go to sleep. I recognize how scary and unfair to her this was and I really do take responsibility for my actions. The day I was supposed to leave I did ecstasy, hooked up with a guy from Canada, and tried to skip my flight. She was mad because like yeah what the fuck. She got me on the flight, the ecstasy comedown hit, and there’s pictures of me crying in the airport because I hated when we fought.

I was supposed to stop in Miami, then fly back to my college town but while in Miami I texted my granny that I was “sad and really didn’t feel good and could she and my uncle visit me at the airport and bring my uncles dog?”. Her parenting instincts went off that something was very wrong, made me skip the flight, picked me up from the airport and took me to her house where I immediately threw up and ran an extremely high fever that night. She said it was one of the scariest nights of her life and she kept checking on me to see if I needed to go to the hospital. She drove me back to my college town where my guy best friend took me to the ER and it came out that Kiaras SD, in addition to giving me drugs, had also allowed me to drink Mexican tap water throughout the entire trip. I was treated for that + given chlamydia meds just in case since I’d had unprotected sex in a foreign country. I was fine, promised to do better, Kiara forgave me, things started to go back to normal. Except I had begun taking Xanax daily to deal with the anxiety of the illness...and she had a trip to Bali planned.

During that trip things managed to get even worse. She was there with her SD and another Korean friend and her SD was pressuring her and guilting her into sex, isolating her from her friend, going through her phone, and becoming extremely aggressive. She would call me crying and having panic attacks and I would walk out of class to try to comfort her over FaceTime. She did not have panic attacks before this trip. She begged to go home early because something was very wrong but he said it was a waste of money and kept her in Bali until the planned end of the trip. I think it was almost a month. She sent me a recording she secretly took of him screaming at her and her saying “don’t touch me, don’t grab me like that, leave me alone”. When she got back to the US I was begging her to stop. I was so worried for her safety. I said the money wasn’t worth it, we’ll get jobs, please just stop. I’m pretty sure he read those messages. We also had a suspicion that he had installed spyware on her phone but were never able to prove it. At this point I also reached out to my dad for help and his response was basically “I don’t care, not my problem, focus on school”. I reached out to my granny who absolutely cared, but her response was “I’m sorry but I can’t afford to support her, I have to focus on taking care of you, if she won’t stop this you’ll have to stop being friends with her”.

I went home to New York for winter break, suffered through my first round of Xanax withdrawal and was truly trying to get better but my ex manipulated his was back in my life and got me addicted again....but now this bottle of 90 had run out. I went back to my college town, got scripted, and was copping street bars when my script inevitably ran out early. What comes next is blurry for obvious reasons. We moved to the town in Florida my granny lived in and got an apartment together. The female friends she made in our town (my current home) she got most of them into sugaring and using SeekingArrangement. Things deteriorated super fast at this point. I was struggling hard, failing my online classes, and eventually got completely financially cut off by my parents. My granny was paying my half of the rent and my puppy’s vet bills but I was too embarrassed to admit I couldn’t afford groceries. Kiara was pressuring me hard to go on SeekingArrangement but I still refused. I would sit on the floor of the bathroom in a towel after I showered and just cry because the steam made me nauseous and dizzy since I wasn’t eating.

I met my current boyfriend and something just started to click: I didn’t wanna live like this anymore. The mom of a friend from this town who also refuses to sugar landed me an interview at the gym I currently work at, I fought for the job, and I got it. Now I knew I didn’t wanna be completely fucked up all the time anymore but I was still doing enough Xanax to keep me out of withdrawal. The 2mg that had blacked me out at the beginning were now just barely enough to keep me functional. Kiara and I were fighting frequently and bad by this time. She and her partner in sugaring, Mena (not her real name but pretty close to it, fuck this bitch fr) were expecting me to keep how they made their money a secret....from friends and guys that I saw every single day. They both very obviously did not work and were flexing new cars, designer clothes, and cash all over their social media. Kiara thought she could cover her ass by saying she dealt drugs but it was also obvious that she wasn’t putting the time into that to come up with the amount of money she had. The only one dealing drugs was me, and not enough to do anything flashy, just enough that in addition to my work money I was usually getting enough to eat. But there were still some times when the previous weeks paycheck had run out and I was having my first meal of the day at 3pm after someone had bought adderall from me. We had our serious serious fight where she threw my stuff in the lawn and I lived with my current boyfriend full time for about a couple weeks since my bedroom at my granny’s was getting refloored when this happened.

By January 20th he was concerned by my Xanax problem and wanted me to seriously try to stop. At the time I started tapering because I wanted the girlfriend title but I’m forever grateful for him giving me a reason, even if it was a shallow one, because I just needed to START. We tried to reconcile once, despite boyfriend and guy best friend begging me not to, and of course the same problems reappeared, we had another serious fight and haven’t spoken since.

Now the fog is clearing and today I’m 96 days clean of xanax, 16 days clean of all benzos, and 19 days clean of gabapentin (what was keeping me from having a seizure while quitting benzos). But it’s hard because being out of the fog means feeling all of my emotions, even the really bad ones. This past week I’ve been waking up and crying sitting in front of my mirror trying to put my makeup on for work and it just drips right off and I have to start over. She was my best friend for 8 years. My favorite person. My partner in life. I loved her more than anyone.

My boyfriend and guy best friend are pretty uncomfortable when they hear someone express an opinion of me that’s “Kiara’s side of the story” and I don’t correct it. Both of them saw exactly how bad it got near the very end and don’t get why I don’t defend myself more or tell people about her letting my dog eat dab (THC) wax while she was supposed to be watching her and having to be rushed to the animal hospital TWO separate times. (She’s a Pomeranian and the highly concentrated THC was super dangerous to her tiny little body). Yelling at me and giving me the silent treatment because less than 48 hours after my SA she expected me to drive her to a hair appointment in Miami and I woke up late and didn’t get her there on time with traffic. Me begging her to be there for me when it felt like everything was falling apart and I self harmed for the first time and her leaving me to go on a vacation to Orlando with a girl we didn’t even really like. Me not wanting to sleep in the apartment alone after my SA and her not letting me sleep in her bed anymore, her and Mena just dumping me at the neighbor’s so they could continue to sugar, party, and see guys our age at night (this sounds super awful but neighbors roommate —> current boyfriend. He kept me safe until I felt better, was really sweet and careful, and I was the one to make the first move). There’s more but I really don’t like talking about it, after the abuse she went through and I assume is still going through, I expect her to be pretty damaged and not have it in her to treat people right all the time. Not exposing every bad thing she’s ever done to all our mutual friends and acquaintances is kind of my last gift to her.

I also admit that sugaring wasn’t responsible for everything that went wrong. Loving an addict is difficult and exhausting and I went through it myself with my ex. I was also out bi and she was “probably straight, maybe a little bi-curious” in her words. But when she was drunk or on Xanax she’d kiss me first...we had done more than kiss but only during 3somes with a guy. I don’t know, I think I loved her more than I was supposed to and some of the stuff she’d say made me think she saw me in a way she really didn’t. When we first moved to this town I had a thing with a girl and expected it to be no big deal but things here were different than up north. I got called the d slur for the first time by someone who wasn’t joking. It was like getting slapped I was so shocked and hurt, I truly didn’t think that happened anymore. I think she saw what happened to me and kinda closed off that part of herself because she didn’t wanna experience that herself. She stopped making out with me at bars and parties after that and it made me sad and maybe a little jealous. But I really do blame her SD for basically “breaking her”, for handing me that first bottle of free Xanax, for a lot of other little things that I can’t possibly include because this is already way too long. This is my first time even saying this much. Feel free to add your own experiences or thoughts on this or anything you’d like. [I’m prepared to get death threats or called a SWERF or whatever but I don’t care, now that I started talking about this I’m not going to stop.]

[knjoodles]

learn to love; jungkook | 01

pairing: teacher!jungkook x singleparent!reader

genre: fluff, angst 

word count: 3K

summary: raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. it hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.

lowercase intended

02 | 03 | 04

   “seyoung, please,”  

   being a single mother at this time in your daughter’s life? it wasn’t the best, so to speak.

  to your beautiful seven-year-old seyoung, the local supermarket was a treasure trove of goodies and tasty treats she could barely keep her hands away from. you darted your head in either direction of the breakfast aisle, following the sound of the patter of steps running away from you, just to spot seyoung slipping behind a tower of canned corn and into an ambiguous section of the store. “seyoung!” you gasped, dashing in the direction she went. catching your breath, you found her sitting in the middle of the candy aisle, toying with a bag of skittles and trying to use her small, short nails to tear open the wrapping.  

   “can you stay near me, baby? please?” you walked towards her slowly, placing your shopping basket on the floor and kneeling to meet her gaze. your mouth twitched into a smile as she shook her head in a pout, shoving the bag of candy against the floor in another attempt to open it. you reach your hand to take it from her hands when she pulls the bag towards her again, clutching it to her chest stubbornly.

   “mommy, i want this one!” she whined quietly, kicking her legs and fiddling with the corner of the bag. as you opened your mouth to say no, you realized you couldn’t remember the last time you’d bought something for her. it’s not that raising her alone was extremely difficult — your music producing career had taken off when she’d turned four and you finally had enough money to sustain the two of you — it’s that you were unable to give her the attention and benefits she needed as a child. money that was supposed to be spent on things like an abundance of toys, bags filled with vegetables and spices to make a delicious dinner, adorable slip-ons to match her favorite dress, were all spent on paying for bills, an occasional nanny, and her private school. you weren’t begging for help, but it would be nice.

   “alright,” you sighed, the excitement of getting candy shining through her doll-like eyes. “i’ll buy you the candy, but can you promise mommy you won’t run away like that anymore?” she happily placed the bag in your hand with the guarantee of sweets, letting you drop it into your basket. looking back at her to make sure she understands, you raised your eyebrow, prompting her to nod slowly and rise from the market floor. as the two of you made your way to the cashier, she grasped your pinky, doing what she could to hold your hand. after loading all of your groceries in the back of your car, you drove her to her friend, ailee, so they could spend the rest of the warm, welcoming sunday afternoon together. before you left, she gripped your hands as tight as she could and promised you that she’d be back soon. because she knew how much mommy will miss her.

   you savored her kind words as you slipped into your car once more, running your hands over the comforting leather stitch of the wheel before pressing the gas and driving home. on your way home, you noticed your phone sitting in the cupholder vibrating as someone called you. waiting until you reached a red light, you answered the phone quickly, paying no attention to the caller id — you get random phone calls from other producers about artists you’d be working with in the future, it was something you’d gotten used to by now.

   “hey.” a deep, masculine voice mumbled on the other side of the line. you recognized it instantly.

it was your ex-husband.

   “hi, hoseok. is there something you need?” you asked, a hint of annoyance in your voice. hearing him again after three months was surreal; it reminded you of everything that’d happened with him.  

   “yeah, i was wondering if we could, uh, visit seyoung.” he muttered, obviously tense from your tone.

we. he said we.  

the word we, without you, was the reason why you’d left him.

you found them. that’s all you’d allow yourself to think about regarding him. if you let yourself go further, you may break down in the middle of the freeway.

   “ah, you mean you and yebin? of course. seyoung’s not home right now, but you guys can come and visit her at any other time.” you replied, savoring the fact you’d planned a playdate for her. hoseok and yebin were the last people you wanted to see at the moment.

  you weren't angry that he’d continued with his mistress after the two of you divorced;  you weren’t the jealous type, and frankly, you didn’t want to be with someone who threw away years of love and support for a woman who he’d known for less than six months. you missed your other half, you missed that comforting back hug after a long day at work and the affectionate ear nibbles while cuddling together. you missed the intimate moments, you missed having someone else in the house. you missed having emotional support, as well as a financial one. while hoseok seemingly frolicked with his younger, sexy girlfriend, you were in the studio all day to make sure your daughter has what she needs to have a healthy childhood without a father. and you weren’t even sure if you were doing it right.

   the idea of divorce will never be something a child can digest completely without having questions. hell, it’s not even something an adult can handle without asking questions. seyoung would often wonder out loud about why daddy was hanging out with a second mommy and why the two of you didn’t live with daddy anymore; why the two of you had to downsize and move away. embarrassingly enough, your daughter told her friends about how her parents live in separate houses, thinking it was impressive that she had two houses.  

   “great. yebin’s really been eager to see seyoung again. i think the two of them are really getting along nicely.” hoseok explained, making things worse in an attempt to break the ice.  

   “that’s great. i'm glad seyoung’s taking a liking to yebin.” oh, how you wanted to hiss that you hoped she wouldn’t replace you with yebin the way he did.  

   “you know, you’re reacting to this better than i thought you would,” he replied. bad move.

   “i don’t know how you want me to react, hoseok. maybe, it’s because i haven’t heard from you in three months.” you spat, angry that he even dared to say something like that. what did he mean? did he think you’d welcome yebin, his mistress, the woman he cheated on you with, with open arms? did he think you’d take a liking to yebin the way seyoung did? unfortunately, that’s not how infidels get treated. you two were a team, he randomly got up and joined the opposition, leaving you alone to play the game of life by yourself.

   “you’re right,” he admitted. “i should’ve called or text, but you know how my job is and—“

   “i'm sure if you had enough time to go clubbing with yebin you have enough time to spend two hours with your daughter. hoseok, i will support you in almost everything, but you need to be a part of seyoung's life — and seeing her once in a blue moon won’t leave a lasting memory of you in her childhood.”

he sighed. you could imagine him habitually rubbing his eyes with one hand before running it over his hair; he shakes his head when he doesn’t have anything left to say.  the muffled sound of a woman voice sounded from the other line, making you roll your eyes.  

   “i get what you’re saying. i... i need to go right now, but i promise we’ll come and see you guys soon. bye.” he completely shook off your conversation and it made you angry. how could he disregard something so important?

   “of course you do.” you muttered bitterly before the line went dead. fortunately for you, you’d just returned home, allowing you to frantically throw your groceries on the kitchen island and drown yourself in what sorrow he caused you.

   it had started off like a dream. the two of you had met in your third year of college, him a business and economics major and you a music production major with a minor in audio and sound engineering. you’d bumped into each other at a banal frat party — one neither of you really wanted to be at. he began boasting about his dog back at home, making you erupt in giggles and inch closer and closer towards him as the night grew older. the two of you eventually left the crowded house together, not going to someone’s place, but rather to a local noodle bar, the midnight empty tables and sentient music a great transition from the pounding music and lack of personal space of the party. he joked about how he was never amazing at talking to people, especially women, so he was surprised that you managed to stick around with him for this long — a new record, to quote him directly. his warm aura kept you snug from the cold night, and he eventually took you home, dropping you safely to your apartment. after that night was over, you began to notice him more and more on campus, like a bright color in a mellow painting.

   one day, out of the blue, he drunkenly confessed his feelings for you. ironically enough, the same people had hosted a party in the same frat house a year later. with his intoxicated body pressed up the wall next to you and the thought that you were someone else, he moaned about how much he likes you but you never seem to pick up on his advances. the days following sprouted conversation after conversation regarding relationships, and eventually, the two of you decided to date. you felt as if you were on the top of the world, as if there was nothing stopping you anymore. after you graduated, the two of you rented an apartment together and entered the job market, taking steps together. and, three years later, you asked him to marry you. right in the middle of pasta night, while you were watching the little mermaid together.

   he named seyoung. you can remember exactly when the two of you decided on her name; when you first held seyoung in your arms and the two of you gently admired her perfection. he kissed behind your ear and whispered, “seyoung. eternal.”

   the three of you were like the three musketeers, and life was a never-ending spiral of fun. you were happy, so happy that you were afraid it would go away. it was perfect: you’d wake up to your loving husband snoring softly beside you with your baby girl giggling happily in her crib, watching the spinning sheep on her crib mobile with glee. every single day, the same cycle, but somehow, your family taught you a new feeling of happiness each day.

   you hate this part. of course, all good things come to an end. they have to, because the bad is what reminds you how lucky you are to have the good. you’d thought life was great. seyoung was a very likable toddler according to her preschool teachers, hoseok had recently gotten a promotion, and your career finally felt like it was going somewhere. you’d recently been hired at bighit, working for their new group, txt.  

   it was around twelve in the morning. you’d gotten home late because your team had finished mapped txt’s first mini-album, the dream chapter: star. pulling your coat closer to your frame as you stepped towards your door, you prayed hoseok had put seyoung to sleep. you’d told him that you’d be coming home as late as three in the morning, not knowing exactly how long it would take to decide how many songs would make it onto the album, as some potential songs were songs meant for other groups that were eventually scrapped.  

   you entered quietly, the door creaking at your attempt to open it silently. you weren’t very observant of your surroundings; truthfully, you just wanted to kiss your baby’s forehead and collapse into your bed. kicking off your shoes, you placed your bag on the coffee table, sighing before trudging towards your shared bedroom. it hit you like bricks — you weren’t paying attention to any noises, you weren’t living a cliché romance movie scene, it was completely unexpected. when you pushed open your bedroom door, a nude woman, lean and visibly younger, was rolling her hips on top of your husband’s bare form. it had taken a second to even register: what’s going on? who is she? am i dreaming? yet your silent thoughts were proven wrong as her head turned in fear to see you standing there, silhouette in the doorframe. she swung her leg over hoseok, pulling on the covers as her body fell next to him on the bed. 

  that was your spot.

  hoseok sat up, eyes wide with fear. “(y/n)… i… this-” he scrambled, thousands of excuses flying through his mind as to why he was just caught hooking up with his assistant. someone you, for one, trusted.

   you, like him, were at a loss for words. your soul felt as though someone had ripped it from your chest and slammed it to the ground, trampling on it bitterly. you turned your head, seeing your baby girl sleeping soundly in her crib. one thing remained stable while your entire world came crashing down onto you, and it was her breathing, chest rising and falling rhythmically, eyes fluttering.

  you nearly slammed the door in fury, turning and sliding down against it, trying to catch your breath. you’d never faced this type of pain before, you didn’t know what to do. there was so much to lose and so little to gain.

   your mother had always taught you to not take any shit from anyone, especially not a man. you tuned out the begs and pleads and cries for you to stay with him and stood your ground on a divorce. ‘it won’t happen again’ has proven itself to be a white lie time and time again. you’d gained custody of your child, and hoseok gained all of the freedom the world could allow. it was as if he was young again.

   it’s not that life was all bad for you after the divorce; crown, the song you’d mainly produced with the help of others became a huge hit in korea, festering hundreds of millions of views and charting #1s worldwide. your company credited you along with a couple other coworkers as the reason for txt’s success in the west. and, as txt continued to grow in popularity, so did your paycheck. you were a wildly successful single mom, fearless on the outside, getting there on the inside.

   fast forward to now: you, single mother, barely getting by mentally, struggling with things your daughter is too young to understand. your husband, living a carefree life with his young mistress, the only connection between him and his ex-wife being his child support fund. you didn’t envy him, but you envied his happiness.

trying to kill time, a piece of toast hanging from your mouth, you opened your laptop, an email from seyoung’s teacher popping into your inbox. it read,  

“ hello parents of wonderful third graders! welcome to (or welcome back to) yooseong elementary!

               my name is mr. jeon jungkook, and i have the great honor of having your kids this year. i know that the school year has only recently started, but i’d love to get to know all of you soon! attached to this email are my parent hours along with the introduction handout i gave my students on friday, just in case any of your little stars misplaced it or haven’t shown it to you yet. i’d like for you to sign it and have your child turn it in on monday to ensure that we’re all on the same page! i hope all of you are just as excited for your child’s school year as i am.

               again, if any of you need to contact me for any reason, please shoot me an email at this address! i’ll respond as soon as i can.

thank you,

mr. jeon ”

   his enthusiasm made you smile. nothing comes before seyoung’s happiness, and if seyoung has a teacher which loves his job as much as you love her, that’s all the satisfaction you need. you’re glad, and somewhat relieved, that when you’re not around, seyoung is in great hands.

   quickly writing him back and thanking him for sending the handout seyoung has yet to show you, you closed the tab, scrolling through a news article about txt’s unfinished success story, refreshing your mind on what you already knew about the boys, and chuckling at what facts they got wrong. as you continued to read through the article, an advertisement on the sidebar caught your eye. now, normally, you’re not one to pay attention to them. you’re more of the type to frown at them and spam-click the ‘x’ in the corner until it eventually vanishes. this one was different.

   an advertisement for a singles support group, offering a place for your voice to be heard, and, well, support.

   you hesitated, wondering if you’d be paired with a group of adults with more emotional issues than time per session. reminding yourself of how hoseok’s actions combined with the consistent stress of your job and raising seyoung threatens your sanity on a day to day basis, you put that voice on mute, and promptly clicked away, this time clicking on the ad instead of the ‘x’.

   after all, anything for seyoung.

[alitaimagines]

“I’m human, can’t you see? I made, I made a mistake. please just look me in my face, tell me everything’s okay. cause I got it, I’ll never be like you.”

ENJI TODOROKI, TOSHINORI YAGI ☆ MY HERO ACADEMIA

 ☆ previous imagine: ♡ ☆ masterlist: ♡

“Enji, the baby is yours,” you whispered grabbing your now small bump, “and you’re walking away from it?” Enji scoffed, wiping his wet fingers that he was previously biting on. 

“you’re not a worthy wife. you’re nothing.”

your mouth dropped at the bluntness. the two of you weren’t official, not by far, but when you found out that you were holding his child, you thought that he was going to stick around. 

“so you’re leaving me with the child?” he nodded, “and you want nothing to do with me? what if he has your quirk? or your hair? it’s going to be very noticable that it’s your child.”

Enji shrugged, not bothering to reply to your warnings. your eyes pricked with tears, not knowing what you were going to do. you were going to keep the baby but the thought that Enji wanted no part in his life broke your heart. 

your sighed wavered as you walked away from the red haired boy. you were only eighteen. you didn’t know if you could deal with a child on your own. of course your family had already offered to help take care of the baby but the thought that you were going to be a single mother because of Enji’s selfish mindset made you want to turn around and kick him 

you looked down to your baby bump and rubbed it. 

“don’t ever think that you’re not loved. one day, we’ll find someone who is worth our time. someone who loves you as much as I do.”

U.A. had been nice enough to allow you to do homeschool to finish off your third year and have the credentials of graduating from such a luxury school. 

your baby had been born at the tail end of your third year so he was able to witness your graduation. your mother had made him a small graduation cap and gown as a surprise the day you were going to walk the stage. 

at first, you didn’t want to even bare to even step back onto U.A. grounds and the thought of it made you want to gag but when your sibling had told that Enji being there shouldn’t stop you from grabbing that diploma from the principal and calling yourself a U.A. graduate.

you made sure that you didn’t focus on Enji when his name was called. you drowned it out and payed attention to the sleeping baby in your arms. you were planning on walking across the stage with your son and made sure to show Enji that he was missing out on the best thing to ever happen to you. 

you lined up with the rest of the business department with your one month old child finally waking up from his nap. you knew he had to be fed soon but as soon as you heard your name be called, you positioned him so the camera could catch a glimpse of him. 

( your name ), graduating second in her class, and has three internships lined up at agencies in Tokyo, Osaka, and Hokkaido.” 

you waved the baby’s hand at the camera, gaining aww’s from the crowd as you grabbed the diploma from the principal and took the picture with the entire U.A. faculty. 

once the graduation ceremony was over and your family was finished taking photos with you, a few of your friends were generous enough to invite you out for a night in the town. your family more than willingly took the baby of your hands so you could enjoy at least tonight. 

as you were getting ready to leave the campus, you saw Enji staring at you with eyes that you were sure if they could kill, you would be dead where you stood. 

“you had the audacity to bring that child to graduation? are you stupid?” he asked a bit flustered, “why? you scared everyone would find out that Enji Todoroki has a baby that he doesn’t want to claim? cry me a river, Todoroki. I’m done trying to have you care for our child. to you, he’s a mistake but to me, he’s everything. next time you want to put your dick in someone, make sure to warn that poor son of a bitch.”

Enji stared at you in surprise. he would have never though you would ever raise your voice at him but the way you held onto his baby and walked away made him think that maybe he should’ve put more thought into his decision. 

he knew the baby was his. the small red hair poking out of his head just assured him that your son was a Todoroki. 

the night came when your friends beeped at you from the street. you kissed your baby goodnight as your mom reassured you that it was okay to enjoy your night out. the mom guilt was crawling up and your mom was able to see that a part of you didn’t want to leave your son but nevertheless, you kissed your son once more before grabbing your bag and leaving. 

all of your friends decided on a 18+ club for the night. you knew since none of you were old enough to drink, you would be getting home safe and all together. 

“do any of you want a soda? I’ll purchase the first person who raises their hand,” your friend Rei’s hand instantly shot up as she asked for a Bubly instead. 

you walked to the bar and ordered the sparkling water and soda as you went to the other side to wait for it. as you sat on the stool, you felt a weight next to you and looked at who sat down.

it was a boy, maybe only one or two years older than you. he had the blondest hair you had ever seen and blue eyes you could get lost in. he gave you a wide smile earning your shy one in return. 

“hey, I’m Toshinori,” he screamed through the music. you shook his hand in response, “I’m ( your name ), nice to meet you!” you yelled back. 

-

you woke up next to Toshi and smiled at his. ever since he became the symbol of peace and offered to move back to Japan to focus on his hero work here, the time you spent with him was more prevalent.

your son was now five. he had fiery red hair and developed a combination of your quirk and Enji’s. 

it took a while for you to trust another man after your situation with Enji but Toshi understood you completely. he was more than happy to take Enji’s place and become your sons new father. not only that but you were now carrying his brother. 

although you and Toshi weren’t married, he had gotten you pregnant and you didn’t necessarily hate the idea of making your son a brother. Toshi promised he would take at least two months off to make sure you and the baby were well taken care off while making sure your son didn’t feel too left out. 

when he found out his rival was your sons father, there’s a point a few times in the relationship that had you holding Toshi back from wanting to basically obliterate Enji into the ground.

the fact that Enji thought of you as scum made him gag and once you told him the comments he made about your son, he knew that if he ever came face to face with the fire hero, he would probably get arrested for assault

you struggled to get out of bed but knew you had to make a run to the store to get some food you had been craving since last night. 

as you made the trudge to your sons room, you noticed Toshi already in there, silently trying to wake him up. you knew that if neither of you did, he would be asleep till at least noon. 

your son stirred awake and hugged Toshi for the morning comfort as you made your way into the bathroom to get ready. your son had known of his situation with his dad and Toshi. he never really pressed you for more information but all he knew is that Toshi was his dad and his biological dad was no longer in the picture. 

“are you ready to go to the store?” Toshi asked as he placed a few small kisses on your bare shoulder after your shower. you hummed in response, “ ( your sons name ) is eating breakfast so we can stop for your coffee on the way to the store.” 

you gave Toshi a kiss before quickly finishing getting ready and waddling your way downstairs. your son and Toshi were talking amongst each other while Toshi swung the keys around his finger. 

“ready!” you exclaimed as your son hugged your shoulder, “lets make the trip quick. I don’t want people seeing you in public for a long time,” Toshi murmured in your ear as you rolled your eyes jokingly. 

since Toshi found out that you were pregnant, he trapped you inside of the house. he hated the media talking about him so when they spoke about you in a negative way, he was ready to fight anyone and everyone. Toshi even punched a slimy reporter who was saying comments about you and your son. 

the drive to the grocery store was filled with your son talking gibberish with you and Toshi. he had your personality because Enji was hardly talkative when you knew him. 

you three arrived to the store as Toshi and your son went in the opposite direction of you. you grabbed the shopping cart from the stack and made your way to the frozen food section. 

you had to get a weeks worth of dinner plans and a few snacks for yourself. you struggled to grab the green peas from the top of the shelf when you saw a hand reach for them and bring them down for you. 

you looked up to see the last person you expect. Enji was towering over you as shock was written all across of his face. the two of you stayed quiet, not knowing what to say or do. 

“mommy! mommy! look! dad bought me a new hero coloring book,” you heard your son exclaim. you eyes widen as he stood next to you as Toshi immediately recognized what was happening, “mommy? is everything okay?” your son asked.

“yeah, everything is okay,” you whispered as Enji and Toshi unknowingly sized up with each other, “hey, c’mon, we need to hit the vitamin aisle. ( your sons name ) needs his vitamins and I’m running out of pre-natals,” you mentioned.

Enji stared at you again, “you’re pregnant to him?” he asked as you nodded slowly, “of course she is. it’s a family trip,” Toshi emphasized the word family as he looked down to his son. 

Enji eye’s widened as he stared at his first born. he had the Todoroki red hair and couldn’t help but wonder if he had his quirk or yours. Enji was able to tell that his son was terrified of the situation. 

“come on, let’s go,” you whispered to both your son. you were nothing short of a petty bitch. you gave Toshi a kiss on the lips, making sure it was as dramatic as possible before retracting. your son started to gag dramatically as you made sure your lipstick stain stayed on Toshi’s face making him chuckle, knowing exactly what you were doing. 

Toshi and Enji stared at each other, not saying a word for what felt like a century. 

“are you taking care of her? does he have my quirk?” Enji muttered making Toshi laugh, “of course I am. I’m not you. I take care of what is mine,” Toshi retorted with a chuckle at the end, “but he does but he also has her quirk so it’s not like you’re anything too special. he uses ( your name )’s quirk more anyway.” 

Enji growled at the fact that Toshi was getting amusement at Enji’s misfortune. Tosh gave one final laugh before leaning into Enji’s ear. 

“looks like I won again.” 

ALITA 

[nineteenninety-six]

I was rereading the daughter series and just imagine Polly or Ada taking the girl with them to the market but lose her in the crowd and panic ensues

I’m assuming the daughter series you are talking about was the one where he adopts the child he finds and not the one with the black daughter.BUT if you want the latter, then just request again :) Also I expanded on your request a bit.

WC: 1.6k 

(Y/N) gripped her Aunt Ada’s hands as they made their way through the crowds of the local market. It was a Saturday, early in the afternoon so the market was at its busiest with everybody trying to get their groceries for their families for the week, so (Y/N) tried her hardest to stick close to her aunt. 

They were also with Polly. The older woman had decided to a bonding day with her nieces, so the day involved lunch at a nice cafe and the rest of the afternoon at the market and shops and it wasn’t a secret how much Polly and Ada enjoyed spoiling (Y/N), so Tommy knew they were going to come back with bags filled with clothes and others treats for the five-year-old.

The three of them wandered through the sprawling market, enjoying their time together, but what they didn’t notice was the two people trailing them. They were in Peaky territory so neither Polly nor Ada were on alert since it was pretty much a death wish to do something to one of the members of the family, especially on their territory. 

Polly had gotten distracted by an old friend so Ada and (Y/N) continued to look around by themselves but as soon as they reached the edge of the market, Ada was knocked unconscious by a hard knock to her head and (Y/N) was snatched up and away.

(Y/N) screamed for help at the top of her little lungs, she screamed for her aunt Ada and Polly and also for her father who had promised that he’d protect her from anything and everything but her calls for help were easily buried by the shouts and noise of the market.

When Polly stumbled across her niece’s unconscious crumpled form she froze in shock. The usually headstrong matriarch felt her heart drop before she rushed over to Ada’s crumpled form, screaming for help and it took her too long to realise that (Y/N) was nowhere to be found.

Soon the place was flooded with Peaky boys that Tommy had stationed around the area coming to their aid but it was too late, whoever had done this had more than enough time to escape.

Once Ada was in safe hands and was receiving medical care, Polly ran over to the office where her nephews were, barging in on a meeting.

Tommy turned to give his aunt a tongue lashing but Polly spoke before he could even open his mouth.

“Someone attacked Ada and kidnapped (Y/N)...”

Tommy stood and paced over to his aunt, towering over her, “What did you just say about my daughter?”

Polly finally let her tears fall, “Somebody took her. They knocked out Ada and snatched her up.”

Tommy growled as he stormed out of the office and out into the street but once he got outside, his steps faltered as he realised he had no clue where his daughter was or who took her.

“Fuck!” Tommy pulled at his hair in frustration, “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

John, Arthur and Polly watched from the doorway as Tommy took out his frustration on a trash can that had been on the street before he suddenly stopped and looked up at the three of them.

“John, Arthur, gather the men. Send half of them to go searching the streets and the others to find any witnesses or anybody who can help.” He ordered, “Polly, take me to Ada.”

The three of them quickly nodded, the boys going off to gather everyone up and Polly taking Tommy to Jeremiah’s were Ada was being looked at, all of them knowing how dire the situation was. 

Ada was curled up on Jeremiah’s couch holding cloth filled with ice to the back of her head when Tommy stumbled in and she immediately jumped up and made her way over to him when he did. 

She started to cry and blubber out apologies but Tommy quickly calmed her down, knowing that it wasn’t her fault.

“Hey, hey, calm down Ada” Tommy guided her back down onto the couch, “It’s not your fault okay. Just tell me what happened.”

“We were near the edge of the market and I just remember this big burst of pain before it all went dark and then I woke up here.”

“You don’t remember anyone acting suspiciously?”

Ada shook her head with a frown, “It was so busy, there could have been anyone there.”

“Thank you, Ada.” Tommy pressed a kiss to her forehead, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Ada was reassured but she still looked troubled, “I’m going to help you look for her.”

Tommy shook his head and pressed her back down on the couch gently when she tried to stand up, “You have a head injury, you need to get better.”

“Your daughter is missing, Tommy! I can’t just sit around and do nothing!”

“You have a son, Ada!” Tommy reminded her, “And I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you and Karl is left without a mother, so please, just stay here.”

At his words, Ada nods and settles backs down and before he leaves he gives her one last hug.

As he walks back to the betting den, he brainstorms who could have possibly taken his daughter. It wasn’t a short list as he had upset a lot of people and a lot of them wouldn’t have an issue kidnapping a small child and he cursed himself for being the reason why his precious daughter was taken from him.

When Tommy got back to the betting den, he tucked himself away in his office with a pretty full glass of whiskey to calm his nerves. His brothers were off doing the tasks he set and his aunt remained with Ada but he stayed at the office in case (Y/N) returned or someone brought back news of her.

He didn’t want to think the worst but it was hard not to since she was little and there were people out there who wanted to hurt him that didn’t care about how she was only five years old.

He was two drinks deep when one of his men barged into his office, a note in one hand and a pair of small shoes in the other.

“We found this in one of the streets sir” He placed the items on his desk before he quickly left, leaving Tommy alone.

Tommy teared up when he picked up one of the tiny shoes in his hand. He had recently bought them for her and he remembered earlier that morning as he was getting her ready that she was so excited to wear them and show everyone how pretty they were. 

He quickly picked up the note before he could dissolve into a puddle of tears and as he read it, he became increasingly angry and threw his partly filled glass at the wall of his office. 

We have some precious cargo of yours.

If you want her back, all you need to do is give us ⅓ of your territory, money and two carts of guns.

Meet us tomorrow at the edge of Small Heath at 2 pm.

Tommy let his anger fuel him as he left the office and began searching for his brothers to call off the search. He was going to stay awake all night creating a plan to make the fuckers who took his daughter pay. They were sorely mistaken if they thought he was going to give them part of his empire and let them go after what they did. 

--------

 It was 2 pm and Tommy was at the location specified but he wasn’t totally alone, he had his brothers and a few of his most trusted men located nearby so that the men who took (Y/N) didn’t get away. While his other men were taken care of the other members of the gang to make sure they’d never be a problem again.

The men were late but Tommy didn’t care once he spotted (Y/N). They were forcing her to walk and judging how she was stumbling every few steps, Tommy guessed they had made her walk from wherever they were hiding out.

(Y/N) was covered in scrapes and bruises but other than a cut above her right eyebrow, she wasn’t injured in any way and though it soothed him a bit, he was still as angry as ever.

“Daddy!” (Y/N) visibly perked up when she saw her father but quieted down when one of the men raised a hand at her, threatening to hit her.

Tommy wanted to blind the man but held himself back knowing that the men will get what’s coming for them soon.

“You got what we asked for?” One of the men shouted

Tommy nodded and pointed at the crates nearby, “Those are the guns and money and the land is yours to take.”

The man who shouted motioned for the other men he brought along to check the crates and once they nodded in confirmation, he allowed (Y/N) to go.

She immediately began running towards Tommy and he met her halfway and swept her up into his arms. They both started to cry as they hugged each other and Tommy did a cursory look over her before he began to walk away, not even bothering to look at other men knowing that Arthur and John would take care of them. 

He clutched (Y/N) close to him and whispered that he loved her and that she was okay in between wiping her tears and (Y/N) never lightened the tight wrap of her arms around his neck but he didn’t care because his baby was home.

Tommy took her to Jeremiah and after he patched her up, he took her home and promised to make sure that nothing like that ever happened again. He would make sure there were always at least two of his trusted men near her and when she gets old enough, he’d get Finn to teach her how to box.

(Y/N) was his darling girl and he’d kill for her.

[helenarlett-rex]

So the fallout gets worse...

Last week I made a post about how the board at the library I work at ruled that we should immediately drop all covid restrictions in our library, and everything that happened as a result of that. Well... as it turns out there’s more...

Let me start by saying I keep pet mice. Very tame, hand raised mice I buy from a specialty pet store that gets their supply from local breeders. It’s pretty far away from where I live and it’s not easy to get these mice. I have to go on a waiting list to even get them, and they aren’t cheap. But these mice are wonderful. They’ll hang out with me crawling around on my shoulder and inside my shirt. They do tricks. They eat out of my hand. They get excited when I come home and come running up to see me. They are essentially like owning very small dogs and I’m just as attached to them as a normal dog owner would be to their dogs.

Last year right around the start of covid, I owned three of them but they all got sick and died within three days of each other. I had taken them to a vet who specialized in small rodents and he informed me that they had a certain viral infection. There was a name for it but I can’t remember what it is now, mostly because I couldn’t pronounce it in the first place... But I had never heard of it before so I asked the vet what it was exactly. And he explained to me that it’s a strand of coronavirus. Not the same coronavirus that everyone in the human population was getting sick from, but a different strand that is harmless to humans but extremely deadly to rodents and has no treatment. Once a rodent is infected, they are dead within a couple of days.

However... Just because this particular strand doesn’t harm humans, doesn’t mean that humans can’t be infected with it. Humans can pick it up and serve as carriers, and then spread it to any rodents they come in contact with.

Now fast forward a couple of months. After fully sanitizing my home and making sure everything was safe to bring new mice home, I got two new mice to replace the ones who had passed. I named them Tanuki and Kitsune. I’ve had those mice for about a year now and they’ve been doing great. Until yesterday morning when I woke up and found them both showing the signs of the same viral infection that killed my previous mice. The “Mouse Coronavirus” if you will... Within the first hour of noticing they were sick, Tanuki sadly passed away. By that point I knew what I was dealing with and that it was already too late to do anything. Kitsune passed away a few hours later...

Now at this point I found myself wondering how they had even gotten infected with “Mouse Coronavirus” in the first place... Neither of them had left my house in almost a year so there was no way they could have come in contact with it directly... That meant the only way they could have gotten infected was if I had picked it up somewhere and passed it on to them. And it had to be me. The only other person in the house is Violet but she hadn’t handled them or even been around them in a month or more... Those mice were my babies, not hers.

So where would I have come into contact with this virus? I had to start thinking about where I had been and what I had done recently. The virus kills mice within two to three days of infection, so if they died on Wednesday, they must have gotten infected somewhere around Sunday or Monday. And that made the answer pretty simple. I was at work on both Sunday and Monday, and that was the only place I had been. In fact... further simplifying things... work is the only place I’ve been in the last two or three weeks... I haven’t even been to the grocery store!

So the mice only could have gotten infected from me, and the only place I could have picked the virus up at was work. But I’ve been working at the same place the entire year I’ve owned them and they’ve been fine up until now. Did anything change recently? And yeah... what do you know... Something did just change... We removed all of our covid restrictions and there have been a tone of people in the library without masks on.

So, wow... We stopped forcing people to wear masks inside the library and within the week I had already been infected with “Mouse Coronavirus” and brought it home to my babies, killing them...

So thank you, everyone out there who thinks we don’t need to take precautions anymore. Everyone who feels the need to force everyone around them to stop taking precautions as well... Thanks... You killed my beloved pets... You killed them just because you didn’t want to put up with a minor inconvenience... I’m broken right now, but hey... At least you don’t have to wear a mask for fifteen minutes when you go to the library to rent a movie...

Burn in hell.

[pregnant-piggy]

Eight Christmases - seventh year

Hermione Granger x reader

This is part of All i want for Christmas is fanfiction

A/N: there is only one part after this one and i am not ready to let go of this already :(

It had been months since you had last heard from any of your friends. The last time you had seen them was at Bill and Fleur’s wedding. Your last memory of them was when you were dancing with Ron and Hermione with Harry. Both the boys were terrible dancers, but that hadn’t stopped the fun.

And now it was nearly five months later and you had heard nothing from them. You knew little about their plan. All you had heard was that they would search for the remaining horcruxes but had no idea where they were. Of course you had wanted to join your friends, but your mother had gotten ill over the summer and you couldn’t have let her alone. She needed someone to take care of her.

So now, while your friends were Merlin knows where, you were hidden away with your mother in a little cottage in the woods. There was a little muggle village fifteen minutes walking away that you went to every day to get groceries. No one in the village knew you or your mother and you were planning on keeping it that way. The less people knew about you, the more safe they and you were.

The only person from the village who had seen your mother was the doctor but unfortunately for him you had been forced to erase the moment from his memory. He had said that your mother would get over her disease, but that it would take some time.

Your mother was doing much better now than in the summer. She could stand on her own and walk around in the house. Her walks outside were limited to the garden around the cottage, but your mother had been so happy to place her feet in the snow. She had grown thin and weak over the time from being inside all day, but she was slowly rebuilding her power.

* * * * * * * *

You were walking home from the village with a bag full of food for tonight’s Christmas dinner. It was Christmas morning and the village had been so beautifully decorated that you couldn’t had helped but stay a little longer. There was a choir of children who were singing Christmas carols and you had stayed for three songs. It pained you to see that these people knew nothing about the danger there was right now. And although in the village it was quiet and clear from death eaters, you had overheard people talking about the weird fog in the city and the increasing amount of accidents on the roads. For the villagers it was nothing but amusement and gossip, but you knew better. Not only the wizarding world was in danger, the muggle world was too.

The forest was quiet apart from the soft chirping of birds. A little brown squirrel shot up a tree when you walked past it and you saw it lurking around the trunk of the tree. The few leafs that hadn’t fallen from the trees were covered with an inch of snow. The sides of the road were a combination of dirt and snow and even the roads were a little white. The sky hidden behind the branches of the trees was light grey. The last blue sky had been a few months ago and since then the skies had been light grey when the sun was shining behind the clouds and dark grey when the rain would fall.

Your toes were slowly getting numb from the cold and you cursed yourself for wearing thin socks. Your fingers were white from the cold and it hurt holding onto the bag of food. You couldn’t see yourself but your cheeks would undoubtedly be dark and your lips pale. Your ears were ringing and you could hear the blood being pushed through your veins.

Finally, the cottage that had been your home for the past half year came to sight. When you were closer you could see your mother behind the window, waiting for you. You waved at her with the hand that wasn’t holding the bag and she nodded back at you.

The last steps to the front door were made rapidly and soon you were engulfed by the warmth of your home. Your mother walked into the hall after you had closed the front door behind you and she took the bag with food from you, while you took off your shoes and coat.

‘It’s freezing outside,’ you said to your mother in the kitchen.

You placed your wet shoes in front of the fire in the living room and crossed the hall to the kitchen. While your mother put away the groceries you filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove. Your mother grabbed two mugs from the cabinets and you sat down at the kitchen table. On it was a pile of letters and you quickly went through it, hoping to hear something from your friends.

‘There’s nothing, love,’ your mother said, placing a steaming cup of tea in front of you.

You sighed and wrapped your hands around the mug to quickly take them off again. ‘That’s hot,’ you mumbled and pulled the sleeves of your sweater over your palms so you could hold the mug.

‘I’m sorry,’ you mother said, nodding to the letters. ‘But no news is good news in this case. If they had captured Harry, Hermione or Ron it would have been all over the newspapers.’

You nodded and rested your head in your hand. A silence fell over the room and you let your mind wonder to your best friend.

It had been a year since you had realised your feelings for Hermione and they hadn’t gotten less, only more. Something had shifted in your friendship after that Christmas. You had gotten closer to her. Everything was still the same, but more often you had found yourself sitting closer to Hermione, resting your head on her lap or just cuddling her at any time. It wasn’t just you, she did the same. Neither of you had said anything about it, but it was clear to both of you that something had changed for the better in your relationship.

‘Don’t worry, dear. She is strong; she’ll save herself,’ your mother said like she could read your mind.

You had confessed your feelings for Hermione to your mother last summer, before you had gone to the Burrow for a week. Something inside you wouldn’t have let you go without telling your mother. Much to your surprise she acted like it was no new information. She had told you that she had always thought that there was more between you and Hermione than a friendship, but she had never wanted to say something in case you didn’t think so.

‘I know she’ll be fine, but I just miss her,’ you said. ‘I have never been away from her so long since I have met her.’

Your mother took your hand over the table and gave it a little squeeze. ‘Do you want to watch cheesy films and drown you sadness with hot chocolate?’

‘That you even have to ask…’

- - - - - - - - - 

taglist:

general HP: @kitkatkl @girllety @yuptha-tsme @sleep-i-ness @iamak20 @thefuturelawyer @weasleydream @missmulti @deafgirltingz @moonstarrnghtsky @mytreec @lilulo-12fanfiction @emmaloo21 @kashishwrites​ @ananad1​ @figlia--della--luna​ @kylosleftbuttcheek @mrs-malfoy-always​ @thefandomplace​ @magicwithaknife​ @mt2413​ @aesthetically-hailey​ @superbturtlemakerathlete​ @the-natureofme​ @missswriter​ @hahee154hq​

MASTERLIST

[hotchley]

because no is a complete sentence.

hi! so @m0rcia is amazing and has been talking about a spencer hotchner au, which sounds like a really cool thing. it also sounds very chaotic given that diana is still his mother, which would lead to a lot of different parenting techniques. however, she was an absolute angel that answered my asks, which kinda? maybe? hopefuly got me out of my writer’s block. so even though the spencer hotchner au isn’t a complete fic yet, i wrote a really short drabble about it. because it’s amazing. like seriously, you need to see the posts about it.

@m0rcia: thank you. i hope this is okay- i wanted to surprise you because i only followed you recently but your blog always makes me laugh and it’s just really nice okay? and you’re also really nice. right i’ll stop ranting.

this is basically spencer learning that he never needs to justify himself after saying the word no. to anyone. regardless of who they are.

trigger warnings: references to child abuse

Spencer Hotchner is four years and three months old when he first learns that the word “no” is a full sentence.

His mother had often taught him about linguistics, and the way that sentences were formed in different languages. She taught him lots of different words- some of them his dad thought were not appropriate for him to be saying. Why, he didn’t know, because adults said those words all the time with no repercussions.

His dad struggled with the explanation. Spencer still doesn’t understand, but what he does know is that when he goes to stay with his mom, he can say what he wants, so long as he isn’t rude or disrespectful to anyone else around. Dad is more traditional- something to do with his southern upbringing- and he seems a bit different when he uses the so-called bad words. Sometimes they slip out.

But his dad doesn’t shout at him when he uses them. He just takes a deep breath and explains why he doesn’t like Spencer using them. Spencer starts to understand that his dad doesn’t like hearing them, but his mother thinks it’s okay. It’s still a bit confusing for him, but he thinks he grasps it.

Mom doesn’t have a lot of friends that want to touch him. He likes that, because there are only some people who he doesn’t mind touching him. Mom is the first person on that list. She always avoids the places that make him feel weird- his stomach and the back of his neck. Dad is also allowed to hug him. Most nights, he can’t sleep without his dad holding him close. He knows that the two of them are safe people, that’s why he likes them. And Dad is always gentle with him, never holding him too tightly.

Well, he did one time. They were in the shop and it was busy and all the people were so much bigger than Spencer. He found it overwhelming and started crying. Dad dropped the shopping right there in the aisle and took him to the toilets until he was able to explain through their hand signals what it was upsetting him: the lights, the tightness of Hotch’s touch and all the people.

After that, his Dad started taking one day a week as a work from home day. On those days, they would do their grocery shopping in the morning, when it was quiet and less colourful, and then Spencer would spend the afternoon with his Mom whilst Hotch did his work.

So Spencer had never really felt uncomfortable with touch. There were certain fabrics that he hated, but neither parent ever made him wear them. Mom let him wear whatever he wanted. Dad wanted him to change out of his pyjamas in the mornings when it was a weekday, but on weekends, they both spent their time in their pyjamas. It was really nice.

Dad’s family were less so. His dad didn’t have a dad anymore, nor did he like talking about him. Mom said that Dad’s dad was dead, which meant he no longer existed on this planet. Mom told him all sorts of theories about what happened to people after they died, but Dad said the conversation made him feel “icky” so they didn’t speak about it much.

But Dad took him to meet his family one weekend. Or the family he had left. Spencer knew all of their names. There was his Uncle Sean, his grandmother, two grand-aunts and three granduncles. One of his cousins was going to be there too, but they were much older than him.

When Dad rang the doorbell, he was doing the thing with his hand. Spencer had learnt he did that when he had sick feeling in his stomach that people described as butterflies.

“Why are you nervous?” he asked, staring up with wide eyes.

“I don’t really get on with most of my family. But you might like them, and you have a right to know who they are, which is why we’re here,” Dad answered.

“If it makes you feel icky then why did you do it?”

Dad did not answer. Spencer wondered if it was an impolite question. In reality, Aaron was trying to find the words. No had never been a good word in his house. At best, it meant he was being a difficult child, refusing to eat their vegetables. But most of the time it meant his father was refusing to have mercy or listen to him.

The door was opened before he could formulate an answer that wouldn’t terrify his son.

“Aaron! I was wondering when you would get here!” his mother said, kissing him on the forehead. Aaron didn’t let go of Spencer as he entered, remembering to slip his shoes off and put them to one side.

“Well, I’m here now, so,” he said.

Spencer shifted so he was slightly hidden.

“Is this Spencer? Hello, I’m your dad’s mommy, but you can call me whatever you’re most comfortable with. I prefer Nanny, it makes me feel less old and more loved. I have no idea what it is about it, it just does.”

“Mom, we talked about this. Please don’t overwhelm him,” Aaron said, already exasperated.

“Oh I am so sorry. Sean! Your brother is here!” she yelled.

Sean came rushing down the stairs. “Hey Aaron. Hi Spencer, I’m Sean, Aaron’s brother.”

Spencer gave him a shy wave. He wasn’t sure he wanted any of these people hugging him. But it was okay, because his dad understood that and kept them distracted to the point that they didn’t even realise.

The problem came when they were leaving. His dad had gone to get both of their coats, and Spencer was alone in the living room. Dad’s relatives were looking at him strangely as he was mesmerised by the art on the walls. He wondered if his Mom knew where it came from, and what it meant. The colours were muted, but pretty to look at.

“We’ll be off then,” Aaron said, once Spencer was all zipped up.

One of the grand aunts held her arms out. Spencer looked at his dad, who was engaged in conversation with his brother. He didn’t know what the woman expected her to do, so he stood there, watching her. Her face had an expression that he didn’t recognise on it.

Before he could register what she was doing her arms were wrapped around him, in a hug, that he did not want.

He let out a shout and Dad turned around.

“Spencer?” he said, trying to work out what was going on.

Spencer was squirming, trying to get away, but the woman just tightened her grip as he frantically shook his head, not knowing what he was supposed to say. He didn’t like the smell of her perfume, or the scratchy material of her dress. He wasn’t a baby anymore, but he could feel tears forming in his eyes.

And then suddenly he could breathe again. Dad had pulled him away. He buried his head in the soft material of his coat. It was nice and familiar and safe.

“Did he say you could hug him?” Aaron asked, his voice cold.

“I’m his family member, he should just do it,” she snapped.

Aaron swallowed. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes his own family had. He couldn’t. “No, he shouldn’t. If he doesn’t want you hugging him, then you don’t. Understood? Mother, I’ll see you soon, hopefully. Spencer, we’re going home.”

Spencer nodded. He didn’t speak the whole journey home.

“How are you feeling now?” Dad asked, when they returned.

Spencer shrugged. “I didn’t like her hugging me.”

“That’s okay. When you don’t want somebody doing something, you say no. Okay? That’s all you have to say. No is a complete sentence. You don’t need to explain yourself. Ever. To anyone. Even to me. If you don’t want me to hug you, I won’t. And if that person makes you feel bad then they’re silly. Do you understand me?”

“Yes Dad.”

“And if they don’t stop, you hit them as hard as you can, and then you tell me. Or your Mom. Whichever one of us you see first.”

Spencer nodded. No was an interesting sentence. He’d have to ask his Mom about it. She then said it was one of the most important words a child could learn, and she was glad that his dad had taught him how to use it. They even practiced using it. It was much more fun to say: no I do not want to hear your opinions on Moby Dick again than it was to say: no I do not want a lollipop- which is what dad had made him say.

He was six years old when his dad first saw him use it.

They were in the playground. Dad was talking to Haley Brooks, who was there for her nephew. His Dad was not very good at disguising his attraction to her. Spencer thought it was a bit silly that he didn’t just say he was interested in her. He’d told his mom about what he thought was going to happen. She’d listened attentively and eventually deemed this Haley a good person.

Spencer had gotten bored and wondered over to some of the other kids, who were also waiting for their parents to finish their conversations. He was actually taller than one of them, but the rest were slightly bigger than him. They were playing a more gentle game of tag. Although he’d never met any of them, they quickly let him join the game.

When it was over, because one of them had to go, they asked to hug everyone. All the other children agreed like it was nothing.

Spencer didn’t want to hug him. But he didn’t want it to be like the other time, with Dad’s aunt. He hesitated and tried to see where his dad was. Dad had one eye on him and the other on Haley, ready to step in if he was needed.

No was a complete sentence. It always had been, and it always would be.

So when the little boy turned to him and asked if he could hug him, Spencer knew what to say.

“No,” he said.

The boy looked a little saddened, but shrugged and said bye to him anyways, before going over to his mom and leaving. Spencer used that moment to go back to his dad, who was done talking to Miss Brooks and smiled at him.

“Hey buddy. How was your little game?”

“It was nice. The boy wanted to hug me, but I didn’t want that to happen, so I told him no. And he just said okay and goodbye.”

Aaron smiled, holding his hand out in case his son wanted to hold it during their walk home. “Well done buddy. I know it can be a bit difficult to say it sometimes, but you did good. Shall we go home now?”

Spencer nodded. “Goodbye Miss Brooks.”

“Goodbye Spencer. See you soon Aaron.”

Aaron blushed and turned away, leading his son out of the school. His son that had no problem taking control of his own body or making his needs and wants known. He smiled to himself. Him and Diana may have not agreed on a lot of things, but this? This he was going to tell her all about. Because this was both of them.

Aaron Hotchner may not have grown up knowing that no was okay.

But Spencer Hotchner never had any problems using the word. Because in the Hotchner household, and everywhere else they went, regardless of who or where it was, no was a complete sentence. As it should be everywhere.

[catboymingi]

wish

navi/masterlist

pairing: hongjoong x reader

genre: some angst if you try really hard, fluff

word count: 4k

warnings: mingi being bad at halloween (this is FLUFF and fluff ONLY)

a/n: would you believe this, something that’s not mingi... who would’ve thought this day would ever come

six years and three months have passed since you last talked to hongjoong. five years and ten months have passed since you moved in with mingi. five years and seven months have passed since you gave birth to your daughter. not even a day has passed since you last missed the man that had once been your everything.

this was your first halloween with your daughter, and it had been neither your nor her idea to celebrate, actually. instead, ‘the best uncle on earth’ (as mingi commonly called himself) had insisted that she now was big enough and that she deserved the candy. you knew, though, that he wanted to dress up more than her, and that he’d most definitely steal your candy, at least. he had a massive sweet spot for your child, so her candy might be safe. might. or you might just have to lock it away. 

you couldn’t be mad at him, though - he was the only one that had been there for you when you got pregnant, that had been there when you’d given birth, that had made it possible, through rigid scheduling and his parents’ money, for you to finish your degree even though you had a daughter at home. it was weird because you hadn’t even really been close before your world came crashing down, but he proved himself to be the biggest help you could ever have asked for. so maybe, he was actually the best uncle on earth.

“are you ready?” of course it was mingi screaming, not your daughter. you’d insisted that she wouldn’t get to go trick-or-treating until she was five, because you knew not everyone was sensible enough to remember that there were small children outside that would get deadly scared at the kind of decoration some people found to be appropriate, and you wanted to prevent her from getting traumatised by random severed hands. but that had also meant that mingi had had to wait for five years to get to have a good excuse for why he got dressed up and excited like this.

“you look ridiculous”, you laughed at the tall man who had proudly told you he’d be a werewolf but looked more like a werepuppy.

“i don’t need your approval when i have toive’s!”, he told you, sticking his tongue out at you despite being 27 years of age. “and she said i look very scary and that she trusts me to protect her from all the bad and evil vampires! now get ready, we want to go!”

you smiled contentedly as you put on your black lipstick, the last little touch needed for your witch costume. you really were glad to have mingi, to have someone that could at least somewhat fill in the role of toive’s father. he made sure that your daughter never lacked anything and, admittedly, spoiled her a little much sometimes, but it was okay because it was done with love.

“done. let’s go?” both the werepuppy and the little piratess that barely reached up to mingi’s waist nodded enthusiastically, and you grabbed the big plastic bags that you’d spent the day painting to look more halloween-y and less grocery store-y.

going trick-or-treating was more fun than you’d expected it to be, your daughter scoring more candy than mingi and you combined by threatening every single person on whose doorbell you rang with having them go on the plank if they didn’t hand over all their candy.

“it’s unfair”, your best friend whined out when toive had once more scored twice the amount of candy as him and you combined, “when she threatens people it’s cute but if i threaten people i bet they’d call the police!”

“that’s because you’re a giant that could break my arm without effort”, you explained to him, laughing at his exasperation. it was just candy, but you knew he had a sweet tooth - she’d probably gotten it from him, even though they weren’t even related. bad influence. but it was cute, too, how happy and excited they both were, the excitement carrying over to you even though you’d insisted you weren’t a fan of halloween at all. but how could you not get excited when both of them were near vibrating with joy? your two favourite people were having so much fun and seeing them happy was all you needed to be happy yourself.

that happiness didn’t last long, however, when you rang on another doorbell, not thinking much of the surname ‘kim’ - near half of south korea’s population was called kim, so it didn’t even occur to you that it might be a very specific kim, a kim whose condom had ripped six years ago and had subsequently caused you not only the hardest time in your life but also more happiness than you’d ever thought possible once your little darling was born. a kim whom you’d never even told, because he’d had to move away before you even found out you were pregnant, and whom you didn’t want to hold back from his dream, so you just broke things off with him instead, claiming you were going back to finland. but it was this very specific kim, it was kim hong joong who opened the door for you and sent your heart into a frenzy.

“shit!”, you cursed out as soon as you saw his face, recognised him even behind his eye patch and fake beard, momentarily forgetting that your daughter very much should not be hearing curses yet, but luckily mingi got your back.

“shiny lights!”, he chimed in as soon as he heard the first few letters of the inappropriate word leaving your lips, successfully distracting toive from the fact that you were incredibly out of it, pointing to all the little lanterns in hongjoong’s garden. her eyes lit up, admiring the pumpkins he’d carved, and you were grateful that he’d put so much effort into decorating his lawn because it distracted her enough for you to have a few moments to collect yourself.

“y/n?” of course he’d recognised you, too, it would’ve been too good to be true if he hadn’t. and then his eyes went to mingi and toive, and you started panicking. he couldn’t accurately guess how old she was, but your reaction and the way you’d broken things off without ever even having hinted at you wanting to go back to europe back then made him suspect that she was his.

“your daughter?”, he asked, and you thanked the heavens that he had enough common sense to be silent so she’d not hear. you just nodded, not trusting your voice right now, and his next question sent even more panic jolting through your body.

“mine?”

now you had to talk, because she was here and mingi wouldn’t be able to distract her forever, and you couldn’t sort all this now. you couldn’t.

“not now. i’ll give you my number and you can text me, and we’ll meet tomorrow or something, but please, for her, not now.” and because he was still as kind and understanding as he’d always been he nodded, getting out his phone and saving your contact before getting your darling’s attention, pretending he didn’t have any kind of connection to you or her.

“hey, little pirate! have you found a treasure yet?” she turned around with so much energy that she’d have landed on her butt if mingi hadn’t caught her, then she came back to where you were still standing at the door.

“you’re a pirate, too!” she admired his big hat and the plastic sword dangling from his side, and he nodded.

“the scariest pirate in all of the seven seas. i have so many treasures i don’t even know what to do with them all. would you do me a favour and take a little gold from me, mate?” and he leaned down with a smile, holding the bowl filled with chocolate gold coins out to her.

“can i?” she looked up at you with the biggest puppy eyes and you couldn’t help the smile spreading on your face. and hongjoong noticed it, too, noticed the fond expression and his heart hurt a little at the thought that this precious little gem might be his daughter, and at the memory of the heartbreak he’d gone through back then.

“but you need to ask the captain how much you can take”, you told her and her little head bobbed up and down as she nodded enthusiastically.

“captain, sir, how much gold may i take?” and she was so precious that he was about to just hand her the entire bowl. but the last little bit of reason left in him told him that then he’d not have anything for the other kids that would inevitably come, so he had to restrain himself.

“how about you two swordfight and the winner decides?”, mingi suggested, mainly just wanting to buy you some time to check up on you. he knew that hongjoong was the father, of course he knew, and he knew that the man didn’t know. so this situation had to be really hard on you.

he didn’t know if it was because hongjoong sensed what he wanted to do or if he really just wanted to play more with toive, but he immediately agreed, getting out his sword to fight the little piratess, ‘arg’s and ‘urg’s to be heard from them while mingi put his hand on your shoulder before pulling you into a hug.

“you okay?”, he asked quietly, and you nodded, even though you weren’t sure if you actually were.

“he didn’t make me talk it out now, so that’s all i could ask for. i’ll probably have to tell him tomorrow”, you all but whispered into his shoulder, holding his biceps tightly to ground yourself a little as you felt the panic hit you again.

“you know he’s nice. and if he isn’t, i’ll beat his ass.” and had it been anyone else you’d thought this threat was just to make you feel better, but because you’d lived with this man for so long now you knew that he absolutely would.

“thanks”, you said before disattaching yourself, walking back to where the two pirates were still fighting. but when hongjoong saw you come back he took the final blow, sinking to the ground as if he’d received a deadly hit.

“you were a worthy opponent, little pirate. now it is up to you how much gold you will take from me.” and toive’s eyes shone brighter than the lamps surrounding you and the fake gold in his bowl as she put both her little hands in and grabbed as much as she could take - which, admittedly, wasn’t much, so mingi decided to help out because his hands were about as big as your head.

“you won, you deserve the reward”, he told your daughter as he scooped an entire handfull into her bag. he glared at hongjoong as he did so, a warning to not fuck up, and suddenly he did look like a werewolf rather than an adorable werepuppy. but his expression softened as soon as he looked at your darling that was his darling just as much, and the other man could tell that he cared. so at least the girl hadn’t had to miss out on anything.

you left for the next house soon after, your daughter and her costume twin ‘arrr mate’ing at each other, and again the tall man proved to be your hero as he pointed at another decoration to get her attention away from you and your ex-love for a little so you could decently say goodbye, because he could tell you needed that.

“i’ll text you soon”, hongjoong told you, and you nodded.

“thank you.” he knew for what. for not causing a scene even though he had all right to, technically, because your daughter didn’t have to see that. shouldn’t have to see that. and then you left, again, and he felt his heart break just a little as your form disappeared.

it was thanks to the werewolf that the night continued to go smoothly until it was time to head home, and he tucked toive into bed while you took a moment to yourself in the bathroom, wiping off your makeup as you tried to calm your rapid heartbeat. then you joined the two of them in her room, pressing a little kiss onto her forehead and promising that you’d hexed all the bad dreams so they couldn’t haunt her, and mingi promised her that he’d bite any vampire that tried to come close.

once she’d fallen asleep you left for the living room, him staying by your side as you grabbed your phone, knuckles white from the force you used as you gripped it. he put a hand on your leg in comfort as you unlocked it, and of course hongjoong had already messaged.

[unknown]: this is hongjoong

[unknown]: tomorrow, 10am, playground?

[unknown]: /location/

you sighed, then replied.

[y/n]: you know im not bringing toive

and his message appeared almost immediately after, as if he’d been staring at his phone ever since he first texted you.

[unknown]: yeah

[unknown]: but i remember you liked them. said they were calm

he was right. even before your daughter had lit up the playground with her bright smile you’d loved spending time there, sitting on the swings and staring up at the sky whenever you had something to talk about. that feeling had never left, even though you now had yet another reason to love playgrounds.

[y/n]: ill be there

and even though hongjoong wanted nothing more in that moment than to tell you that he missed you he knew he shouldn’t, so he left you on read instead, though both his thoughts and his heart were racing.

while he hadn’t been able to await the next day it came all too soon for you, and mingi once more promised that if hongjoong pulled any shit he’d beat his ass into next week. he was babysitting toive today, had promised her a movie and candy day so she wouldn’t miss you, and you couldn’t be more grateful to have him. maybe she didn’t have a father, and you didn’t have a partner, but the two of you had him, and he more than made up for it, even though it had cost him several dates. you were his priority, and you loved him for that.

the man was already waiting at the playground when you arrived, early as always and beautiful as always. he wasn’t wearing the pirate costume today, but neither were you dressed up as a witch, both of you looking casual but differently so. he looked purposefully casual, while you looked like you’d rolled out of bed and just put on whatever, dressed just to not be naked. and that was a pretty good representation of your emotional state - you just came here completely unprepared, you came because you had to. and you were scared.

“hey”, he greeted you quietly, but instead of greeting back you just burst out: “she’s yours.”

there was a moment of tense silence before he replied.

“i already guessed so. from the way you were acting.” you nodded; there wasn’t really anything to say to that, anyway.

“you’re doing alright? mingi’s taking care of you?” of course he remembered mingi, the goofy tall guy that you’d spent quite some time with, but he knew you hadn’t been as close to him back then as you obviously were now. he got an explanation though when you began talking.

“yeah, he’s been there ever since i found out. big scary guy, threatening aura, keeping me from the worst when i couldn’t really hide it anymore. he let me move in right away and he’s basically like a dad for toive now.”

it was a lot of information to take in at once, so he tried to find something small to focus on.

“her name’s toive?”

“it means ‘wish’”, you elaborated. “i was horrified as shit the entire pregnancy, so i hadn’t even come up with a name yet when i delivered. but as soon as i saw her i knew she was a wish come true. so i just called her that.”

“it’s a beautiful name.” you knew it was. it reminded you of the home you’d left behind to build yourself a new one, and it reminded you that sometimes the most unexpected things could be what your heart wished for. it reminded you to keep going, because you wanted to make her every wish come true. it was a very fitting name.

“she’s a beautiful girl.”

you saw him smile at that, smile at the memory of the little piratess he’d fought with the night before. but then he asked the question you’d dreaded most.

“why didn’t you ever tell me? you know i would’ve been there for you.”

a sigh left your lips, because of course you knew. and that was exactly why you hadn’t told him.

“when i found out you’d already moved. you were thriving and i couldn’t bring myself to hold you back like this. you deserved to live your life as you wanted to without having to worry about a family you never asked for.”

“did you ask for it?”, he asked you, and you shook your head. as much as you loved the little family you’d built with mingi, you hadn’t asked for this to happen.

“and would you want to go back to change this?” you shook your head again, and he grabbed your hand.

“so why do you think i would’ve regretted it? would’ve not wanted to know?”

you had no answer to that. maybe because back then you’d still been convinced the pregnancy would ruin your life, so it didn’t occur to you that he might not feel the same way. that he genuinely might want to be there.

“can i be there now?”

“you can get to know her, if you want to. but she doesn’t know you, doesn’t know who you are, and i’ll have to figure out how to tell her. so you can’t be there as her dad, not yet and maybe never, if she doesn’t want you in her life. if you can’t accept that, if you can’t put her first, i don’t want you there.”

he took in your words and nodded. he’d last seen you six years ago, so obviously she’d spent quite some time without knowing about him at all, and he knew he couldn’t just barge in and act like he’d been there all her life. he was a stranger, even though that hurt a little.

“does she have a dad?” and even though his phrasing was a little weird you understood what he meant. he wanted to know if mingi was her father, if not legally or physically then emotionally.

“she has an uncle that would lay down the world for her. and that won’t hesitate to break a few bones if she gets hurt, just so you know.” but you were smiling, finally starting to relax a little.

“i don’t doubt it for a second”, he chuckled, “he seemed about ready to kill me at the door. he really cares about you two, doesn’t he?”

you nodded, smile growing bigger at the mention of the taller man, and hongjoong felt a small sting when you told him how you’d never want to miss him, how mingi was as much a part of your life as toive was, how it was so clear that you belonged together.

“do you love him?” he didn’t know why he asked. he didn’t know why he hoped you’d say no. he didn’t know why he cared and he didn’t know why the thought of you being with mingi made his chest feel tight. he hadn’t seen or talked to you in years, so why did he hope that he still held a place in your heart? why did you still hold a place in his?

“i do, of course i do”, you told him, at least as surprised at his question as he was. “he’s like a brother, he’s been there all this time and it’s only thanks to him that i’m where i am today. but i don’t love him the way i loved you, if that’s what you meant.”

“you loved me?”

you didn’t understand why he sounded so startled about that. the two of you had gotten together pretty much right after you started university, and you’d been together for more than a year when he moved, planning to stay together for many more until life decided that it had other plans. of course you’d loved him. part of you still did.

“you were the first person i ever wanted a future with like that. of course i loved you. you meant everything to me.”

“i wish you’d never left.” his voice was very quiet, pained, made you want to hold him and apologise, but you didn’t know if that’d be okay with him.

“i missed you everyday. even yesterday, i still missed you. it’s dumb, but even though it’s been six years i still hoped you’d somehow come back into my life. and here you are, so maybe it’s not that dumb.”

now there was no stopping your arms from going around his waist, your face pressed to that one spot between his neck and his shoulder that had always felt like it was made for this purpose only, as you quietly told him you’d missed him too.

“it was so hard to watch toive grow up to be more and more like you but not having you there to see it, too. when she’d start asking about her dad and i could only tell her stories even though i knew she wanted a real dad, like all the other kids. and all the stories i told, they kept me from ever getting over you, but i knew it wouldn’t be fair to keep even that from her just because i was hurting.”

hongjoong was holding you tightly, a hand in your hair and the other pressing you against his chest because he didn’t want you to go again.

“let me be a dad. and let me be there for you too.”

his words made you look up at him in surprise, because they sounded so soft and gentle and full of an emotion you didn’t think you’d ever get from him again, not directed towards you, at least.

“for me?”

and he was looking at you, eyes wandering from your forehead to your chin, not leaving out a single detail. you’d matured, but you were still just as beautiful.

“i didn’t stop loving you. still haven’t.”

his words surprised you, even though you hadn’t stopped loving him either. you didn’t know what to make of them, what he wanted you to do now. what he’d expected to happen now that he’d said this.

“can i kiss you?” of course he asked. he was still the same hongjoong, the same gentleman, the same man that always made sure whatever he was doing was okay with you before he tried, and he still caused the same butterflies to fly around in your stomach. but now you had someone else to put first, you couldn’t risk falling back in love with him, hopelessly so, only for it to end badly. you couldn’t risk that when you had a child.

“only if you mean it. and not just now, but every single day. only if you can promise that you won’t hurt me and, most importantly, that whatever happens between us won’t ever hurt my daughter. our daughter. can you promise that?”

“i promise.” and he’d never been more sure of anything.

“then kiss me.”

he did. he kissed you like you were the most precious thing in the world and he kissed you as if he wanted to prove that he meant it, that he loved you and had already fallen in love with his daughter and that he’d even learn to love mingi as part of his family. he kissed you as if to make up for the past six years when he couldn’t, and you kissed him back as if to make up for every moment you’d kept his daughter from him. you kissed each other like you were in love, and you were.

and finally, you got the happy ending you’d been wishing for ever since you first saw the positive pregnancy test. finally, you got a family with the love of your life. and finally, he got to stay with you.

[crazycrackersworld]

Today at 1:30 p.m. my Aunt Theresa passed away. She had been in the hospital with pneumonia and covid for about 2 weeks they never could get her oxygen where it was supposed to be , and couldn't get her to keep food down they couldn't fix her.

Just a couple weeks ago we were all together in her house throwing her a birthday party for her 70th birthday my Uncle Mike came down from Colorado and had surprised her the place was full of family and friends and laughter joy and happiness and none of us knew what was right around the corner. None of us had any idea what events were going to be getting to unfold within a week or so and I don't think we would have believed it if someone told us.

She got sick thought it was pneumonia she was dealing with it and I'm one night my Uncle Jerrry couldn't get her up out of the bathtub she didn't have the strength to do it on her own and he couldn't help her so he called the ambulance and they took her to the hospital and that's where she stayed.

And in that amount of time Uncle Jerry spent two stays in the hospital of about a day or two each before getting sent home on cousin Tim went to stay with his dad to help him out but clearly he was sick right away he's been in the hospital since this past Monday hopefully he gets better.

My mom did not pick a real winner to be my biological father since I've never met him since he pretty much ran and disappeared as soon as he found out she was pregnant. So for the first few years of my life my mom's family stepped up and between my five uncles and my grandfather it was like I had six dads and between my mom and my grandma and my two aunts it's like I had four moms. Everybody helped, I learned different things from everybody and I consider myself very lucky to have had all those people in my life.

A lot of times people in the family made jokes all my Aunt Theresa not being The brightest bulb on the tree or the sharpest knife in the drawer it was always done out of love. In reality was she the smartest person no, she wasn't the dumbest either she did have a tendency to forget things or get things wrong and we just chalk that up to being Theresa.

But despite any of that or any shortcomings she was one of the kindest most caring most generous people I've ever met in my entire life. She truly had a beautiful soul and had a way of lighting up a room when she walked into it almost always in a good mood even when she wasn't in a good mood. I remember her smile and her laugh I remember how even as an adult when she would come back to Wisconsin to visit after moving here to Arizona and she would see me it was like just taking a look at me just brightened her day.

I had made the decision to not move back to Wisconsin permanently and and to stay here for the foreseeable future couple weeks before her birthday party and I only told a few people cuz I wanted to keep it a secret because I wanted to tell everybody else at her birthday party I wanted to tell her at her birthday party it was kind of my present. And I remember the look on her face when I told her she didn't look like a 70 year old lady she looked like like a little girl who had just gotten the doll she wanted for Christmas or the piece of candy she had begged for all day and she gave me the biggest hug and she was so happy that I was staying. And now I'm here and she's gone and it does not seem fair or right I am hurting more than I have in a very long time.

My cousin Jeanette lives in Maryland and Tim even though he's here obviously as I mentioned he's in the hospital. And so my Uncle Jerry who isn't in the greatest health in the first place is all alone in that house because he just lost the love of his life and I honestly don't know how long he'll last without her. I always thought my Uncle Jerry and Aunt Theresa would be one of those couples that once one pass the other one would just kind of give up and die of a broken heart soon after. Because they loved each other that much. I'm sure their marriage wasn't perfect, they had their problems and their issues with both of the kids but they stayed together through all of it neither one of them ever gave up on the other one neither one of them ever quit. They had the kind of marriage that I always hoped one day I would have.

Obviously my love life has not turned out that way, but seeing them together still always gave me hope and I guess it still does.

I can't list all of the things that I am going to miss about her so I guess the only proper way to say it as I'm going to miss everything about her, just everything. I'm going to miss everything about her.

There was a time in my life where I had moved out of Mayville didn't tell anybody where it went and I distanced myself for my mom and my dad and as I was slowly beginning to patch that relationship there were a few times that I did reach out to my Aunt Theresa for help for a ride somewhere you know maybe even a few bucks for some groceries and she never judged me she never lectured me she gave me the ride or she borrowed me the money she was always there for me.

I'm not saying other members of the family weren't I'm just saying the entries that was a little different she almost felt like a second mom sometimes let's face it I probably needed more than one mom i'm kind of a bastard.

So today at 1:30 p.m. I I lost one of the most beautiful people that I have ever known and I am here in what is still a foreign land and I feel so alone and I'm trying to be strong for my mom and she just lost her sister and I'm trying to be strong for my Uncle Jerry because he just lost his wife and he's worried about his son and I am trying to be strong for him because he just lost his mom and he's in the hospital sick with what most likely killed her.

So I try to be as strong and resilient in front of everybody else as possible when inside I am just falling apart cuz it's something I can't make better I can't fix this and I want to I want to fix it so bad.

So I will probably cry myself to sleep after drinking half of my jar of moonshine and I'll wake up tomorrow and I will try to hold him to tears so I can be there for my mom and everybody else because right now they need them more from me and I'll just have to keep my grief inside as much as I can and realize that other than family nobody really cares if I'm broken or not.

But for everything that she ever did for me, heck for me Lisa and Katana at the beginning, the least I can do is be strong for her sisters and her brothers and her children and her husband. The least I can do to honor her memory is to be there for everyone else like she was always there for me.

I don't know about everybody else in the world but she seemed to always see the Best in Me even when I was screwing things up left and right she always Saw the Best in Me. Two summers ago and her and my Uncle Jerry were up in Wisconsin they they picked me up from jail to take me to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and then to basically break the law and take me to Sue's apartment so that I can give Sue some contact information and some other stuff cuz we really haven't been able to talk cuz I didn't have any money on my books. And even when I walked out of the jail and she's standing there I mean there was no judgment there was nothing she was just happy to see me and happy I was safe. I mean one of the most lowest points in my life where I'd screwed up just about as much as you can she just hugged me and told me she loved me.

And that was my entries I know her kids might have some criticisms and they might not think she was always the best mom and maybe Jerry might think she wasn't always the best wife and maybe my mom and my Aunt Margaret and my uncle's might not think she was always the best sister but I can tell you she was just about the best a screwed up kid like me could ever have and I thank God that she was in my life and I wish she was still here.

For me myself I can definitely say that my life has been better having had her in it and it's going to be a little emptier now that she's gone and I hurt so much I do I hurt so damn much I miss her already.

Oh God I hope I get some sleep tonight, some good sleep unbroken nightmare free but I don't see that happening.

Because of all the covid stuff I mean Uncle Jerry was able to get my Aunt Margaret and my mom in to say goodbye to her but that took a lot of arguing apparently. I was at work and nobody wanted to tell me what was going on because I wanted to make sure that I was safe and it was paying attention to where I was driving and I understand all of that I do but I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.

So I guess that's what I'm going to do right now I'm going to say goodbye. Auntie Theresa this is your nephew Sean, I am so sad to see you go and I am going to miss you so much. But I know you were really sick and I know you were really scared and I know you were in a lot of pain it is cliche as it is I am glad that you're not in pain anymore I really am. But the selfish part of me wishes you were still here because I don't want to say goodbye I don't want to lose you I don't want you to be gone forever because forever it's too long.

I'll do my best to keep an eye on Tim and Jerry and even Jeanette I'll do that for you because I love you so much I just love you so much. And it hurts so bad that you're gone. And I just hope that I can keep making the positive changes in my life that I know you were so proud of I'm so proud to watch me fix myself and I just want to know that you're looking down and you're still proud of me. That'll mean a lot.

So until we meet again someday goodbye my sweet sweet aunt I hope it's peaceful where you are, and that Grandma and Grandpa were waiting for you and that you weren't scared.

And in addition to goodbye, I love you Aunt Theresa I'm going to miss you....

Love Sean

May you rest in peace

[evengayerpanic]

Trains and Passengers [1 of 4]

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse and Domestic Violence.

Inspired by an ask I received, wanting an AU of Aster/Ellie plus an adorable little boy, I’ve decided to take that idea, and run with it! There just seemed to be so much plot, that a one-shot wouldn’t have sufficed. So I bring you the first chapter, out of about four, in Trains and Passengers, an Ellie/Aster AU.

_________________

“You are sure that he isn’t going to find us, right?” The look Aster Flores fixes Paul Munsky with nearly breaks his heart. She’s the thinnest that he has ever seen her, dark circles under one eye, a purple-red bruise surrounding the other eye. She looks beaten down, absolutely exhausted and like her spirit has been broken. In a sense, he supposes that it really has. 

Nothing can prepare a person for the day that the man who is supposed to love you forever, starts to use his words and fists against you in pure hatred.

“I promise.” Paul whispers, pulling her suitcases out of his car, refusing to let her lift much. “Squahamish was before me and T.J. met. I was a teenager when I left.”

“And you’re sure that the cabin is still there?” Aster double checks. It isn’t that she doesn’t trust Paul, which is funny that she does at all since he was T.J.’s friend first, but the way he looked at her when she first started wearing sunglasses indoors... He knew what was going on immediately and confronted her.

She supposes the only reason he’s even helping her, the only reason she even trusts him at all, is because of Tommy. The day that T.J. and Aster named Paul the godfather of their newborn son, the man had cried and promised to always protect him.

Three years later, on the day that she broke down and told him about T.J.’s temper, Paul had cried again and promised to not let Tommy get hurt. Paul grew up with an angry Dad, he knew the damage it could do.

So it wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, she just had that natural fear running through her. What if the cabin wasn’t there? What if it wasn’t inhabitable for her and her son? She didn’t have much money, didn’t have any friends other than Paul, and her family had made it clear who’s side they were on. She was whisking her son away to safety, but she hoped it was security too.

“My friend lives across the track from the cabin, she said it’s fine. It’s still standing, and she even went in and tidied up for you guys.” Paul pulls a still sleeping Tommy from his carseat, the boy curling up against his chest and reaching his arms around his Uncle.

“Make sure to thank her for me.” Aster whispers, reaching to rub her son’s back gently, leaning her head against him and whispering. “Tommy, baby, you need to wake up... we have to say goodbye to Uncle Paul.”

“I’ll let you thank her, she promised to check in on you guys when you got there.” He smiled, as the boy in his arms stirred awake slowly. “Hey, little man.”

Big brown eyes stared up at Paul, thick lashes jostling up and down as the young boy blinked slowly at him. “Hi Uncle Paul. Are we going on a train now?”

“You and Mama are, Uncle Paul’s gotta stay at home with Daddy, okay?” Paul hugs the little boy tightly, tucking his nephew’s head under his chin before passing him over to Aster. The brunette hoists Tommy onto her hip, and grabs her suitcase in her other hand without breaking eye contact with Paul.

Tommy just whispers against his Mommy’s shoulder. “Daddy is scary, don’t let him be mean to you, okay Uncle Paul?” And then he’s wrapping his arms around his Mom’s neck and clinging onto her.

“I won’t.” Paul promises, leaning in to kiss the boy’s brown locks before giving Aster a tight hug, squeezing them both against him. “Take care of Mama, okay?”

“I will.” Tommy promises, oblivious to the tears springing to his mothers eyes as she mouths a soft ‘thank you’ at her son’s godfather, her bestfriend.

Paul nods his head, before gesturing to the train, holding back his own tears. “You better go and get your seats, the train’s just about to leave.” He smiles.

Aster hauls them onto the train, finding their seats and settling in quickly. Her bag goes under their seat and she lifts little Tommy up to the window, securing him safely against her legs. The boy waves his chubby toddler arms back at his Uncle until the train picks up enough momentum that Paul disappears from sight.

_________________

When they get to Squahamish, it’s late in the afternoon and the sun is already setting into night.

Tommy has spent most of the day curled up against his Mama playing on her cellphone, while she ignores the thirteen calls that her husband has made. Each time the screen lights up with another missed call or text, Aster and her son share a look of concern. 

“Don’t worry baby...” She whispers into his forehead, lips pressed there as he shakes in her arms. “Uncle Paul said he’d handle it, right? Plus, he got Mama a new phone, that way Daddy can’t find us, okay?”

The little boy nods, perking up only as the train starts to come to a stop. “Is this it? Are we here, Mama?!” 

Aster nods and it’s like a switch flips in her three year old, the little boy bouncing up and down excitedly, his hand gripping hers and pulling, always pulling towards the exit of the train. She stops him for a second, struggling to get their suitcase out from underneath the seat, and by the time she’s gotten it and is ready to go... Tommy is already off the train.

“Thomas?” She’s shrill. “Thomas Paul Singh?!”

Aster practically sprints off of the train, bag in her hands, her son’s name a scream on her lips as she prays to whatever God there is still out there, that she didn’t just get her baby boy away from a sick monster, only to lose him immediately to another one.

As she steps off of the train and into the station, she hears a sound that stops and starts her heart again. 

“Mama, look! I found Uncle Paul’s friend! I saw the letters T-O-M-M-Y! That’s my name, Mama!”

Aster drops her bag and pulls her son into her arms, squeezing him to her chest as a sob wracks her body. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.” She cries.

“You must be Aster.” A stranger’s voice breaks her relief of seeing her son, and she looks up from where she’s kneeling to see one of the most beautiful women she’s ever laid eyes on. “I saw him get off the platform and knew it was you guys, you look just like Paul described.” Ellie smiles and Aster feels faint.

She nods her head slowly, not realizing that she’s staring until the other woman seems to catch on. “We were just about to go find you.” Ellie explains, holding up the handmade paper sign that Tommy must have seen from where he got off the train.

In neon letters it screams “Aster and Tommy!”

Aster’s still silent, her son squirming in her embrace as she finally lets go of him. The stranger in front of her laughs a little, clearly just a little embarrassed of the sign and of the alarming way they met.

“I’m Ellie Chu!” She smiles and holds out a hand.

“I know.” Aster breaks free of her stun and smiles, somewhat awkwardly, and takes the girl’s hand. “I mean I guessed. Paul said you’d be here to greet us.”

Ellie nods this time. “Oh yeah! Should we get you two home? You’re probably exhausted from the trip.”

Aster nods, putting her son down. She watches as Ellie outstretches her hand, clearly to take their suitcase, only to wind up with Tommy grabbing on.

Her smile falters but doesn’t fade, and Ellie walks along beside the tracks with the little boy, only waiting for Aster to catch up to them.

“Squahamish is pretty small, but we do have a main street, I’ll have to show you tomorrow since we are pretty much at your place.” Ellie points at a small cabin just across from them, and Aster feels her heart seize up. She knows most people would regret it, the change from the five bedroom Victorian that had been in her husband’s family for years, to a small two bedroom shack... but to Aster it looks like freedom.

“It isn’t much-” Ellie starts, only to get interrupted by a mesmerized Aster with a smile from ear to ear.

“It’s everything I could have hoped for, thank you.”

Ellie smiles softly, and Aster’s heart skips a beat for a moment, something that she chastises herself for. Here she is, fleeing for her and her son’s life, and getting distracted by a cute girl. Damn Paul Munsky!

“Paul sent me a list of stuff you two needed, so I grabbed groceries.” Ellie unlocks the door, letting Aster and her son inside of their new home. Tommy lets out a yell as he runs at a stuffed dinosaur sitting on the kitchen table. “I also picked up a couple of things that weren’t on his list of essentials.”

At the tears that fill Aster’s eyes, Ellie reaches out to squeeze the other girl’s hand. “I know what it’s like to start over in someplace new, only I had most of my stuff with me... I figured you wouldn’t have the room in your bags to pack certain things.”

Aster nods her head. “I had to leave behind almost all of his toys, I certainly wasn’t looking forward to bedtime tonight with only one of his bears.”

Ellie gives a look that says she understands, and neither of them move to pull their hands away from each other until Tommy turns back to look at them.

“I better get home.” Ellie finally says, moving quickly back to the door. “If you two need anything, I just live across the tracks in that building, okay? I run the train station. So just knock on my booth if you need me.”

Tommy’s mouth drops open as he hears Ellie, his voice getting impossibly high-pitched and excited as he talk-shouts. “You work in the train station?!”

Aster just laughs. “Well now you’ve got his attention, you should stay for dinner, so we can thank you.”

Ellie Chu stays for dinner, and even bed time, regaling little Tommy Singh with stories of the work she does on the trains, the people she’s met. She has Aster captivated as well, but for very different reasons.

As Tommy begins to fall asleep, Ellie excuses herself with a smile. “You should get some sleep too, you’re settled in alright?” She’s genuinely concerned, a breath of fresh air from how T.J. would dismiss her.

Aster nods and smiles, wishing Ellie a good night and then triple-locking the door before crawling into bed next to her three year old and curling around him.

_________________ 

Mother and Son wake somewhere near Midnight, a sound in the dark outside stirring them from their sleep putting them both on edge. They both freeze temporarily in bed, hoping that if they’re quiet for long enough, the unknown noises will go away.

When they don’t, Aster pulls Tommy into her arms and whispers. “Do you want to go see the trains?”

The little boy nods, and so she wraps him up in a blanket, pulling a shawl from her suitcase to wrap around her own shoulders before she carries him to the door and outside of the cabin to watch.

For a second they watch in silence, the midnight train passing in front of them. Aster hugs Tommy close to her as the train starts fading into the distance, too far now to see, before a soft and concerned voice calls out to them. “Hey Aster, Tommy! Are you alright?”

Aster glances up, a sigh of relief escapes her as she realizes who it is that called out to them. Ellie Chu, working the midnight train. She should have guessed.

“We couldn’t sleep!” Aster calls out, taking a step closer to Ellie, her son clambering down from her arms to get closer to the other woman, or more importantly, the train booth she’s sat in.

Ellie opens the booth doors open wide as Tommy Singh gets close to them, the boy stopping at the doors to stare between her and his Mama. “Can I?” He calls over his shoulder, a soft nod from his Mother sends him scrambling inside, rushing for Ellie. “Cool!”

Aster gets closer too, the girls exchanging a look as Ellie lifts Tommy onto her knee to show him the control panel. “Only touch the button I tell you too, okay?” She makes sure to tell him first, before pointing at the different ones on the control board and explaining what they do. Aster comes closer and closer with each explanation, her eyes stuck on the way her son lights up as Ellie asks him to point which button is which and he gets them mostly correct. 

Her heart warms as Ellie lets him press one to make the stop lights turn on and off, and she lets out a laugh as he proclaims loudly that he’s going to be a train “connector” when he grows up, just like Ellie.

Ellie looks at the time before turning back to Aster. “Do you want to join us, it’s pretty cold out?”

Aster blushes, suddenly painfully aware of how embarrassing her thin, pink nightgown is. It’s not very warm, and it covers barely anything, her shawl barely wraps around her shoulders. Ellie’s suggestion is one of concern for her health, nothing more, but Aster still can’t help but blush at the very thought of it.

“Are you sure we aren’t bothering you?”

Ellie shakes her head, a smile coming over her face as she holds Tommy close to her, squeezing together so Aster has enough room to join them in the booth. “Not at all.” She pauses, glancing back down at the time. “The second train is supposed to be here in fifteen minutes, if you want to, Tommy can help?”

Aster nodded her head, the little boy giving out a tired but excited cry of “Yay Mama!” Aster smiled.  

“You can share the chair with me, if you want?” Ellie scootches over in her seat just a little, trying to give Aster some room to sit down. “That way you can sit?”

As the three sat together; Ellie, Aster and Tommy, a small pang rang through Aster’s chest. How was it, that she could be so comfortable with a girl she just met, when her own husband kept her terrified.

It wasn’t until she was at home in bed, over an hour later, that she was able to even think about why. Ellie was just a friend, she was nice, she was polite, she was safe... Only she didn’t make Aster feel very safe.

Getting involved with Ellie Chu seemed like the most unsafe thing Aster Flores could ever possibly do.