#needed a change of medium
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Little Lies
Horror x Motti, Bad Sanses x Motti
Word count: 951
Horror ruminates.
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Their arrangement is all casual, or it was supposed to be. They all agreed upon it that their relationship was simply to get out of Nightmare's face and to dump the three at Motti's place when he had enough of their antics. Neither of them anticipated it growing more than just a place of repose. However as time went on things changed and mostly for Horror.
He wouldn't dare admit it to anyone, let alone to Motti. He's still not sure where he stands with her and part of him is afraid to know, yet, here he is with her laying on his chest like his body was made to caress hers.
His phalanges combed her hair as gently as he could, but she didn't seem to mind the occasional bump or tug.
He liked this.
He wants more of this.
Just the two of them together alone and living in domestic bliss, but even Horror laughs at his own desires. Him? Playing house? Is he even allowed that? But if not, then what have they been doing all day? She cooked him a full meal and he helped lift the couch so she could vacuum under it. He attempted to help dry the dishes but broke a few, and now they're cozy up to each other watching a dumb B-rated thriller.
It tugs at his soul and his head pounds from the thoughts swarming. Motti and him used to be at each other's throats; the very sight of each other could ruin their day. He is not at all sure when that changed. All Horror knows is that it began to irritate him when Motti would neglect herself from overworking and then putting Killer or Dust above her own needs. What a stupid girl.
He gets irritated at those thoughts, his brow furrowing and he has to stop himself from growling. He can't deny that if Killer or Dust was out of the picture Horor would be a lot less territorial, a little easier to deal with, but he's nowhere near ready to open up to Motti about how he feels or what he really wants.
Everytime he catches a glimpse of himself he gets an ugly reminder of what happened to him and, truthfully, he doesn’t understand how Motti can stand looking at his face. Some days he can’t even look himself in the eye as he’s just constantly reminded of how different he is from his old self.
A yawn causes Horror to steal a glance down at Motti and watches as she tries to keep her eyes open. He sighs and runs the tips of his phalanges along her arm.
He wants to laugh at himself, he really does, because he knows that if the core didn’t shut down and caused the magic in the underground to go haywired he still would have been his charming, pun loving self. Now look at him. A massive beast with an unsightly hole in his head and a former shell of who he used to be.
He hates having to think how Motti would have instantly liked his old self and she wouldn’t have met this jaded old bastard. It would have been so easy to sweep her off her feet, just a pun here or there, casually dropping hints and making her feel like he was her everything. But no, instead, Motti got an insidious freak with a quick temper and more LOVE than he ever thought was possible. She would not feel so safe curled up on him like this if she really knew what he had done or what his hands were stained with.
Even if he never ate a human Horror can’t bring himself to tell her the truth. The thought of her eyes looking at him with disgust causes his old bones to ache with a feeling he can not yet discern. It’s kind of pitiful that Motti can wear her heart on her sleeve and opened up to him more than he has even graced her with. Yet, he has resolved to himself that he will keep it that way as long as he can. If he can continue to make believe and fool himself that he’s all she wants, he can live with that. Live with the lies and live with the love she gives.
He’ll tolerate Killer and Dust for now. Since he has yet to tell Motti he doesn’t want to share because then that would mean he would have to admit that he cares for her in a manner that he hasn’t felt like for some time, if ever. Would she even look at him as a partner? He doesn’t particularly believe that even with how she treats him now. Maybe it’s because neither of the other boys are here to keep her entertained…
His soul drums against his ribcage, his anxiety spiking. That’s got to be it. She got tired of being irritated by him because Killer and Dust can’t be around all the time. Even if they do mundane things together that she doesn’t really do with the others, it must because he’s just a massive heap of bones. How can she give and receive any sort of affection from him?
Maybe he is just the placeholder after all.
Horror growls loudly while his eye forms into a slit and his mouth pulls into a harsh snarl. Motti becomes alert, snapping out of her drowsy state and goes to look at Horror but her world spins as she’s dropped to the floor. “Wha-” Before Motti can finish her sentence Horror shortcuts out of her apartment. Dazed and confused, Motti just stares at the spot where he once was.
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As cameras becomes more normalized (Sarah Bernhardt encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use cameras because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by manufacturing companies. I paint not because I want a painting but because I love the process of painting. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
if i have to explain to you that using a camera to take a picture is not the same as using generative ai to generate an image then you are a fucking moron.
#ask me#anon#no more patience for this#i've heard this for the past 2 years#“an object created and controlled by companies” anon the company cannot barge into your home and take your camera away#or randomly change how it works on a whim. you OWN the camera that's the whole POINT#the entire point of a camera is that i can control it and my body to produce art. photography is one of the most PHYSICAL forms of artmakin#you have to communicate with your space and subjects and be conscious of your position in a physical world.#that's what makes a camera a tool. generative ai (if used wholesale) is not a tool because it's not an implement that helps you#do a task. it just does the task for you. you wouldn't call a microwave a “tool”#but most importantly a camera captures a REPRESENTATION of reality. it captures a specific irreproducible moment and all its data#read Roland Barthes: Studium & Punctum#generative ai creates an algorithmic IMITATION of reality. it isn't truth. it's the average of truths.#while conceptually that's interesting (if we wanna get into media theory) but that alone should tell you why a camera and ai aren't the sam#ai is incomparable to all previous mediums of art because no medium has ever solely relied on generative automation for its creation#no medium of art has also been so thoroughly constructed to be merged into online digital surveillance capitalism#so reliant on the collection and commodification of personal information for production#if you think using a camera is “automation” you have worms in your brain and you need to see a doctor#if you continue to deny that ai is an apparatus of tech capitalism and is being weaponized against you the consumer you're delusional#the fact that SO many tumblr lefists are ready to defend ai while talking about smashing the surveillance state is baffling to me#and their defense is always “well i don't engage in systems that would make me vulnerable to ai so if you own an apple phone that's on you”#you aren't a communist you're just self-centered
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I feel like people aren't getting it. In. The. Books. Perseus. Jackson. Is. An. Unreliable. Narrator. This goes for everything he thinks. Percy loves his mother, so he writes her praises. In the show we get to see what Sally does from an outside POV not filtered through a child that idolizes his mother. It's not ooc for Sally to act like she does in the show. she's a single mother raising a neurodivergent, Demigod, and she's scared that when the Gods get to him they'll corrupt him. She's not suddenly a girl boss we're getting to see her for how she is.
#percy jackson#sally jackson#“sHe sToOd uP tO gABe sHe wOuLdnT dO tHat' she did it because percy needed to get to montock so she could tell him about how hes a demigod#sally as a character will do anything for her son. gabe being abusive doesnt negate what she needs to. do for her son. in in the book the#second gabe was no longer needed she turned him into a statue and sold him to to the highest bidder. she was putting up with the abuse for#percys sake. and this is then woman that grebbed a gun and started fighting in the battle of Manhattan. shes not weak. you can be two things#she can be motherly and strong. and obviously she has her douts. she thinks shes failing. she called posiden when it was too much and he#reassured her she was doing her best and she needs to do what she thinks is best. and we are only seeing some scenes#we're seeing whats relevant to the plot and whats relative is sally preparing Percy. and she obviously cares for her son and her son for her#she has to be a good mother cus percy is literally going to the underworld to save her. just stfu about the book#ive read the books to but some of you are awful. like no adaptation is to the letter. somethings had to be cut or glossed over and some are#changed because money or that a book is a different medium then a show or movie! you cant do everything cus its impossible.#were in a completely different pov. we're not in Percys head seeing his thoughts.#pjo series#pjo#pjo tv show#percy jackson and the olympians#percy series#batcavescoloy watches the PJO tv show#batcavescolony watches
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JON DOODLES
+ the distortions under the cut
++ a close up of the one i really liked
#tma#the magnus archives#tma john#tma jon#tma fanart#jonathan sims#micheal the distortion#helen the distortion#(little helen)#i love changing up my jon design sometimes because this one fits so well with how i like drawing season 5 Archive jon but i still like my-#usual for every other instance so i need to find a happy medium#someday#gart
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OWWWWWW
#OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW#Im trying to gather my thoughts…. I have a head ache………………#im so embarassed i had to use the walk through to help me out towards the end…. I thought I got stronger since the last game#but Im gullible as fuck your honor#also my working memory isnt the best so even though I took notes on everyones train of thought in the trial#the changing theories and what we currently assume is true and isnt is really hard to keep track of!!!!!!!!!!#I thought I had the answer to one of the most important questions but I was wrong TWICE and I only had a little bit of health left#for the rest of the trial ;w;#it was also hard for me to understand godots motive since he would have no reason to stab Ami but I forgot that when spirit mediums#channel ppl their appearance changes to match the spirit.. so I guess it does make sense he didnt think of that when he was focused on#getting revenge against dahlia. damn#UGH I NEED TO PLAY THE FIRST GAME I feel like theres still so much background im missing#the DL-6 incident came up and I only know a few details abt what happened but it was nicely tied to the case#like edgeworths trauma around earthquakes and how that gave time for iris and dahlia to switch#it gives me a headache to think abt them swapping places and who was doing what though#but still really cool#im going to be thinking abt this for days#aa3 playthru#aa3 spoilers#ace attorney#aa#trials and tribulations#yapping
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WHATEVER YOU SAY BEAUTIFUL!!!
Bsd 120 raws
Fyodor’s little stretch…!
My thoughts? Honestly, it’s a bit of a nothing chapter (I say as I don’t know what any of the dialogue is but I know it’s just going to be Fyodor explaining more space-dimensional bullshit manga logic). It is exciting to have Fukuzawa face off against Fyodor, but Asagiri pulls this SO often man, where it’s like “A new challenger enters the ring” every chapter and multiple times per fight.
And this fight really should’ve been Akutagawa’s time to shine. I know he’s going to get back up, but man.
#ahli spams bsd#bsd 120#bsd spoilers#fyodor dostoevsky#I love that black haired bimbo!!!#someone needs to stop Asagiri from undermining his own writing#this is a problem that lends itself to the medium but you can absolutely work around it#I get time limitations and. just not killing your artists I get that but#if you need an easier going chapter this easily could’ve been a pov change to Dazai chuuya and maybe sigma#have THEM discuss the nature of Fyodor’s power instead on fyodor literally stopping to monologue for 2-3 pages#that would fix the pacing not be difficult to execute and create anticipation for the next chapter where the fight would then happen#easily could fit into 15 pages or even 13 or 12 honestly and would give them a nice break#then in bsd 121 harukawa and Asagiri could put their all into depicting pure action that doesn’t need to be interrupted by exposition#not to mention that . while I like him. fukuzawa has had TWO fakeout life threatening stabs#that’s egregious writing work he’s just going to go up against amengozen and have ANOTHER life threatening ‘fatal’ stab before he gets up#AGAIN#writing so ‘…’ you have me agreeing with skk shippers. yeah maybe they should show up for once the writing calls for it
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VERY glad that Evontra’vir said “the titans are dead” because like there are currently living beings that will suffer if Ludinus’s plan succeeds and they just don’t seem to matter compared to titans that died a millennia ago??? (After trying to wipe out mortals themselves)
Hey anon,
Agreed. The thing about the titans coming up is that it does, actually, make a lot of sense for the two characters who have been most vocal about it - Ashton and Laudna - to feel this way! But it doesn't come from a rational place; it comes from profound trauma and loss about which they can't be objective.
Taliesin talked about this on 4-Sided Dive: Ashton is grabbing on desperately to the one piece of information they know now about their missing childhood and is "leaning into it...probably before he should." We know this about them; Ashton's been emblazoning themself with the Hishari and Dunamancy symbols without having a single clue what they were. The titans are part of that. Did you notice how he keeps saying "things are changing" and didn't actually like...provide any meaningful information? Again to quote 4SD: "...there's not a lot of judgment happening about whether or not that's a good thing or not, and what it actually means." Like, I think that, based on Ashton's past position of "don't kill everyone for your goals, that is shitty" if they did stop, and process, and set aside that strong emotional factor that's in play (which is not something I'd expect them to be able to do easily!) They'd realize that the titans returning, were that possible, would be cataclysmic. But that's not what they're thinking about right now. I think Evontra'vir bluntly stating that the titans are dead was a needed splash of cold water on that line of thinking.
My thought re: Laudna is that it's slightly more metaphorical. Consider her backstory: a conquering force swept in and destroyed most of what had been there before. She is a relic both of that earlier time and of that conquering force, and the subjugation she experienced never truly stopped, even though Whitestone has moved on. Of course she'd see herself in the titans in the telling of stories about the titans! People like Percy get to return and revitalize and build a new family and grow old and happy and die, despite their trauma, and she's caught between life and death forever. Of course she'd relate to some half-buried thing that people call monstrous and ancient and displaced! But that doesn't actually help her do anything about her situation and it's not a philosophy that really is useful in understanding the larger geopolitical (and, frankly, cosmic) reality happening right now, because, yeah, if you let the titans back, people will die.
For both these characters - who have spoken to each other about being physically altered and left for dead, alone, in ways no one else can quite understand, I think there's something immensely seductive about the idea of something older than the gods, something defeated but could rise again, which both is relatable to their own situations and comes neatly packaged with a reason why it didn't save you when you called out. But it's still a fantasy. It's not real, it's not going to happen, and so it's important that Evontra'vir, who as Jirana said, does not mince words, called it out for what it is. The titans are dead. Something of their essences does remain for you to use to make a choice. You are going to have to do this using your own judgment; you are doing the saving; stop worrying about the dead and start thinking about what you will do to serve the living.
I think an emerging theme of this campaign - and arguably a secondary theme of the past campaigns, and really, the theme of D&D if you think about it, is that the person you developed into because of your trauma, and the coping mechanisms and behaviors and presentation you developed as a result may eventually cease to serve you once you find a support network and begin to be given more and more agency within the world; and indeed, if you cling to these things they will begin to hurt those around you, and eventually you as well. I think "The Titans are dead" is one way to very, very bluntly and effectively communicate that.
#answered#Anonymous#critical role spoilers#ashton greymoore#laudna#re the last paragraph i do find that this campaign the fandom voice in favor of NO WHAT IF I NEVER NEED TO CHANGE is louder#or perhaps i just had it better tuned out in c2 or perhaps the nein made a more inhospitable growth medium for that particular breed of mol#anyway. evontra'vir was right. titans are dead. nice dichotomy idiot. what lies outside it.#critical role
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i know it’s kind of redundant given that a lot of my blog functions as a historical archive in itself, and especially my reviews where i try and post every bit of production art i can find coinciding with the short being reviewed, but i’m seriously considering starting a side blog of exclusively posting LT production art because there have been too many times where i’ve seen some production art, went “i love this!”, forgotten to save it and never found it again. much to ponder
#though perhaps rhetorically because i think i’ve already made up my mind#it’d just be so nice to have on hand and organized as well#i can organize by director and decide and character and medium………………. oh yeah#not that anything on this blog will change of course but it would be nice to have a more dedicated space for organization#this has been brought to you by: i talk about these cartoons too often and can’t find the good production art when i need it#this is also brought to you by: i saw a really appealing Chuck Jones layout for Jumpin Jupiter the other day that i haven’t been able to#find since thus inspiring the above hypothetical in the post
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Trying oil painting for the first time and realising that painters stand far away from the canvas:
1) to get a better overview of the whole piece and not get trapped in detail
but maybe more importantly:
2) to avoid accidentally smudging the whole thing to shit by accidentally brushing against it ;;_____;;
#realising very quickly that i need to lean in (metaphorically) to how the medium works and alter my style accordingly to make best use of it#that means using the fact i can move the paint around for cool effects and also being aware of that fact when i dont want it to change....
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First order of business.
Divorce Timeline.
#wip#my notes#GONNA. file it under that even though i'm being vague. but these are sketches ect ect#you see this is why i set up that poll actually. trying to figure out what direction to take#w how i wanna draw the alfonse who would become lif. this in between stage as a whole#is REALLY tricky to parse out. and god if you though alfonse's hair was fucking annoying. oh god. oh fuck.#SOMEHOW. THIS IS WORSE. IT'S SO FUCKING DIFFICULT.#if this alfonse seems absurdly tall esp in that last sketch. well it's just a sketch but also#details kept at minimum. i imagine alfonse is all geared up. heels and all (... possibly insoles.)#and moe was in the midst of getting ready/dressed. so it's flat on its feet here#man. i'm almost in the back of my mind thinking about just how stark the visual difference becomes#between degal and sissel in dunmeshi. the way you see degal change so much. and sissel stays almost hauntingly the same.#that visual storytelling between them drives me absolutely insane actually. the metaphor of#someone who you were both in the care of and made to take care of AND by all means should have been 'your age'#grow up and way past you. but for some reason. you haven't grown at all. yet you operate as you've always have#by force if you have to.#if. it seems like a dubious connection to make. in the context of whatever moe and alfonse have going on#know that it's on purpose with intent. to kill.#the thing about the moefonse dynamic. is that each have just the right things wrong with them.#that either make them click together perfectly if a bit strangely but overall it's good for them#or. on the flipside. they just make each other SO much worse. infinite spiral of So Much Worse#and this is the bad timeline so let me cook. please. pretty please.....#but also for as fucked up as i wanna get comics as a medium are just so uniquely special in the way that#i tried drafting the dialogue out. really didn't know WHERE i was going. then i started sketching#and it's like alfonse himself appeared in a divine vision on the page. like ohhhh he WOULD say that#AND. IMPORTANTLY. in the most indirect direct way possible. it's so fascinating the way it all clicks like that for me#i've talked enough though i wanna LOCK IN. just. needed to get it out of my system/get in the game ect ect#moe tag#moe lore#my art
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this latest nonsense has reminded me though of one of the most interesting differences between book!gelphie and musical!gelphie. because, you see, book glinda would've gone with elphaba in a heartbeat. but book elphaba never would've asked, because she wanted glinda to be safe. which does kind of compel me more than the way "defying gravity" plays out in the musical. however i will concede that the way they write their conflict in the musical works better dramatically for a musical/movie, which has different dramatic needs than a book, so i cannot truly fault them that change. nonetheless, it's a pretty striking difference.
#i don't need all adaptations to be faithful; sometimes things need to change for the sake of the medium#but i do have such complicated feelings about this change even though intellectually i agree with it for the sake of drama#wicked#who said the end was written yet
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The most frustrating part of being someone who mostly draws now trying to getting into writing, is that I can picture what I want in my head and how I would represent it visually.. but how the hell do I describe important forgotten object hiding away out of sight that the characters haven’t noticed is missing yet??
#im just yelling into the void aaaa#getting into writing isn’t a choice that damn game and my ocs have control#in comics I could highlight the forgotten bolt on the ground out of sight and forgotten.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#perhaps a narrator is needed.. or having them notice but not think anything of it at the time#or maybe I just need to change how the problem occurs..?#storytelling in different mediums is more difficult than anticipated#maybe I just need to alternate between drawing and writing scenes#typos! is posting again
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.
#okay but reading this Belloc essay on Austen really made something click in my mind#and it’s because of something he said#which is that women care more about what men think of them generally#(as a general rule. not all the time. etc.)#and men care more about the opinion of the one woman they care about#like women do care (as a first instinct at least) what every man she meets thinks of her#but men are mostly indifferent. until they’re NOT.#which makes women more vulnerable to a greater number of people#but men are MORE painfully vulnerable to the woman whose opinion they care about#and I don’t actually know that that vulnerability only extends to a woman they are attracted to/feel romantic feelings for#I think if they just think well of you as a person you (a woman) have a lot of power over them#which is sooooo interesting and makes so much sense!!!! and is something I’ve sort of been dancing around with teaching#like. a lot of the boys I teach come to care about what I think about them#which doesn’t mean they all have a crush on me. though that step can be super easy and super small#hence the need for the boundaries of steel etc. but it does mean that they care what I think about them!#and I’ve always felt that instinctively and felt that I had to be so gentle with them because the power to crush them is mine if I so choose#don’t let me overstate it. it doesn’t happen all the time or anything close to it. but the thing about me being a teacher is that#they are forced to know me not just in a surface-level way. simply because I spend so much time with them#and talk to them a lot!#ANYWAY. enough about me but yeah this hit me so hard and of course exceptions exist#and/or endless variations on this exist because people are unique and surprising and also everything is changing all the time#etc. etc. but there is something to this I think! and you know what#it’s so interesting because that base-level instinct for women (allowing it to be a thing I mean) can be grown out of#I have trained myself out of/maturity has helped me leave behind that immediate female instinct#of being hurt at the idea that this random waiter (for example) is indifferent towards me. I’ve come to accept it#the instinct is still there!!! because imo women are always scanning and searching and sizing up. and also we are so open to being won over#if that makes sense? which is why insta comments complaining about how only good looking men get away with things like. PLEASE.#there are so many medium-ugly men who get married. it’s the average because the average woman is prettier than the average man#(this is not an insult) women CAN be and usually are so open to being surprised. won over. moved by the simple fact that a guy likes them#and men are not like that. but my point is: men don’t grow out of caring if they care. when they care they care sooooooo much. anyways yeah
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ur allowed to make whatever you want as an artist?? ur not required to keep a certain style and make your work harmonious?? UR ALLOWED TO HAVE FUN?? no way
#text post#i think i am going through a style change rn#also desperately need to change my medium…#fabrics or paper mache#maybe painting?? idk#ripping the room apart with my teeth#wanna make ppl things. .#waaaagh#i hate it here
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Giving my hair the Big Chop soon. I’ve decided
#nothing CRAZY like it’s down to my lower back rn#but I want it a little shorter#like down to my middle backish. still long but medium long#I’m going curly most of the time these days and i want more curl to the roots. which is not that possible w gravity#plus I wanna go crazy w diff cute hairstyles & I think having it shorter would just make it easier for me to learn different stuff faster#AND it would make for more healthy growth. it’s fine. it’s time#plus my hair grows fast so if I rly didn’t like it I wouldn’t be without my waist long hair for long#trying so hard not 2 change my mind ab this bc I know it’s a much needed change#p
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Saw the Deaf Missions - Jesus Film
I’m actually pretty impressed with how it was handled and the production. They didn’t hold back the historical accuracy and didn’t play emotional manipulation. I still have my same concerns as always with second commandment violations, but I won’t immediately condemn the film.
#the there were maybe two scenes that made me sigh but not because they were heresy#just because they were changes to the narrative needed to put the account into this medium#but it wasn’t blasphemy#still sorting out the full feelings about it but yeah#g.txt#deaf#asl#Deaf Missions: Jesus
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