#needed a change of medium
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Little Lies
Horror x Motti, Bad Sanses x Motti
Word count: 951
Horror ruminates.
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Their arrangement is all casual, or it was supposed to be. They all agreed upon it that their relationship was simply to get out of Nightmare's face and to dump the three at Motti's place when he had enough of their antics. Neither of them anticipated it growing more than just a place of repose. However as time went on things changed and mostly for Horror.
He wouldn't dare admit it to anyone, let alone to Motti. He's still not sure where he stands with her and part of him is afraid to know, yet, here he is with her laying on his chest like his body was made to caress hers.
His phalanges combed her hair as gently as he could, but she didn't seem to mind the occasional bump or tug.
He liked this.
He wants more of this.
Just the two of them together alone and living in domestic bliss, but even Horror laughs at his own desires. Him? Playing house? Is he even allowed that? But if not, then what have they been doing all day? She cooked him a full meal and he helped lift the couch so she could vacuum under it. He attempted to help dry the dishes but broke a few, and now they're cozy up to each other watching a dumb B-rated thriller.
It tugs at his soul and his head pounds from the thoughts swarming. Motti and him used to be at each other's throats; the very sight of each other could ruin their day. He is not at all sure when that changed. All Horror knows is that it began to irritate him when Motti would neglect herself from overworking and then putting Killer or Dust above her own needs. What a stupid girl.
He gets irritated at those thoughts, his brow furrowing and he has to stop himself from growling. He can't deny that if Killer or Dust was out of the picture Horor would be a lot less territorial, a little easier to deal with, but he's nowhere near ready to open up to Motti about how he feels or what he really wants.
Everytime he catches a glimpse of himself he gets an ugly reminder of what happened to him and, truthfully, he doesn’t understand how Motti can stand looking at his face. Some days he can’t even look himself in the eye as he’s just constantly reminded of how different he is from his old self.
A yawn causes Horror to steal a glance down at Motti and watches as she tries to keep her eyes open. He sighs and runs the tips of his phalanges along her arm.
He wants to laugh at himself, he really does, because he knows that if the core didn’t shut down and caused the magic in the underground to go haywired he still would have been his charming, pun loving self. Now look at him. A massive beast with an unsightly hole in his head and a former shell of who he used to be.
He hates having to think how Motti would have instantly liked his old self and she wouldn’t have met this jaded old bastard. It would have been so easy to sweep her off her feet, just a pun here or there, casually dropping hints and making her feel like he was her everything. But no, instead, Motti got an insidious freak with a quick temper and more LOVE than he ever thought was possible. She would not feel so safe curled up on him like this if she really knew what he had done or what his hands were stained with.
Even if he never ate a human Horror can’t bring himself to tell her the truth. The thought of her eyes looking at him with disgust causes his old bones to ache with a feeling he can not yet discern. It’s kind of pitiful that Motti can wear her heart on her sleeve and opened up to him more than he has even graced her with. Yet, he has resolved to himself that he will keep it that way as long as he can. If he can continue to make believe and fool himself that he’s all she wants, he can live with that. Live with the lies and live with the love she gives.
He’ll tolerate Killer and Dust for now. Since he has yet to tell Motti he doesn’t want to share because then that would mean he would have to admit that he cares for her in a manner that he hasn’t felt like for some time, if ever. Would she even look at him as a partner? He doesn’t particularly believe that even with how she treats him now. Maybe it’s because neither of the other boys are here to keep her entertained…
His soul drums against his ribcage, his anxiety spiking. That’s got to be it. She got tired of being irritated by him because Killer and Dust can’t be around all the time. Even if they do mundane things together that she doesn’t really do with the others, it must because he’s just a massive heap of bones. How can she give and receive any sort of affection from him?
Maybe he is just the placeholder after all.
Horror growls loudly while his eye forms into a slit and his mouth pulls into a harsh snarl. Motti becomes alert, snapping out of her drowsy state and goes to look at Horror but her world spins as she’s dropped to the floor. “Wha-” Before Motti can finish her sentence Horror shortcuts out of her apartment. Dazed and confused, Motti just stares at the spot where he once was.
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I feel like people aren't getting it. In. The. Books. Perseus. Jackson. Is. An. Unreliable. Narrator. This goes for everything he thinks. Percy loves his mother, so he writes her praises. In the show we get to see what Sally does from an outside POV not filtered through a child that idolizes his mother. It's not ooc for Sally to act like she does in the show. she's a single mother raising a neurodivergent, Demigod, and she's scared that when the Gods get to him they'll corrupt him. She's not suddenly a girl boss we're getting to see her for how she is.
#percy jackson#sally jackson#“sHe sToOd uP tO gABe sHe wOuLdnT dO tHat' she did it because percy needed to get to montock so she could tell him about how hes a demigod#sally as a character will do anything for her son. gabe being abusive doesnt negate what she needs to. do for her son. in in the book the#second gabe was no longer needed she turned him into a statue and sold him to to the highest bidder. she was putting up with the abuse for#percys sake. and this is then woman that grebbed a gun and started fighting in the battle of Manhattan. shes not weak. you can be two things#she can be motherly and strong. and obviously she has her douts. she thinks shes failing. she called posiden when it was too much and he#reassured her she was doing her best and she needs to do what she thinks is best. and we are only seeing some scenes#we're seeing whats relevant to the plot and whats relative is sally preparing Percy. and she obviously cares for her son and her son for her#she has to be a good mother cus percy is literally going to the underworld to save her. just stfu about the book#ive read the books to but some of you are awful. like no adaptation is to the letter. somethings had to be cut or glossed over and some are#changed because money or that a book is a different medium then a show or movie! you cant do everything cus its impossible.#were in a completely different pov. we're not in Percys head seeing his thoughts.#pjo series#pjo#pjo tv show#percy jackson and the olympians#percy series#batcavescoloy watches the PJO tv show#batcavescolony watches
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WHATEVER YOU SAY BEAUTIFUL!!!
Bsd 120 raws
Fyodor’s little stretch…!
My thoughts? Honestly, it’s a bit of a nothing chapter (I say as I don’t know what any of the dialogue is but I know it’s just going to be Fyodor explaining more space-dimensional bullshit manga logic). It is exciting to have Fukuzawa face off against Fyodor, but Asagiri pulls this SO often man, where it’s like “A new challenger enters the ring” every chapter and multiple times per fight.
And this fight really should’ve been Akutagawa’s time to shine. I know he’s going to get back up, but man.
#ahli spams bsd#bsd 120#bsd spoilers#fyodor dostoevsky#I love that black haired bimbo!!!#someone needs to stop Asagiri from undermining his own writing#this is a problem that lends itself to the medium but you can absolutely work around it#I get time limitations and. just not killing your artists I get that but#if you need an easier going chapter this easily could’ve been a pov change to Dazai chuuya and maybe sigma#have THEM discuss the nature of Fyodor’s power instead on fyodor literally stopping to monologue for 2-3 pages#that would fix the pacing not be difficult to execute and create anticipation for the next chapter where the fight would then happen#easily could fit into 15 pages or even 13 or 12 honestly and would give them a nice break#then in bsd 121 harukawa and Asagiri could put their all into depicting pure action that doesn’t need to be interrupted by exposition#not to mention that . while I like him. fukuzawa has had TWO fakeout life threatening stabs#that’s egregious writing work he’s just going to go up against amengozen and have ANOTHER life threatening ‘fatal’ stab before he gets up#AGAIN#writing so ‘…’ you have me agreeing with skk shippers. yeah maybe they should show up for once the writing calls for it
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VERY glad that Evontra’vir said “the titans are dead” because like there are currently living beings that will suffer if Ludinus’s plan succeeds and they just don’t seem to matter compared to titans that died a millennia ago??? (After trying to wipe out mortals themselves)
Hey anon,
Agreed. The thing about the titans coming up is that it does, actually, make a lot of sense for the two characters who have been most vocal about it - Ashton and Laudna - to feel this way! But it doesn't come from a rational place; it comes from profound trauma and loss about which they can't be objective.
Taliesin talked about this on 4-Sided Dive: Ashton is grabbing on desperately to the one piece of information they know now about their missing childhood and is "leaning into it...probably before he should." We know this about them; Ashton's been emblazoning themself with the Hishari and Dunamancy symbols without having a single clue what they were. The titans are part of that. Did you notice how he keeps saying "things are changing" and didn't actually like...provide any meaningful information? Again to quote 4SD: "...there's not a lot of judgment happening about whether or not that's a good thing or not, and what it actually means." Like, I think that, based on Ashton's past position of "don't kill everyone for your goals, that is shitty" if they did stop, and process, and set aside that strong emotional factor that's in play (which is not something I'd expect them to be able to do easily!) They'd realize that the titans returning, were that possible, would be cataclysmic. But that's not what they're thinking about right now. I think Evontra'vir bluntly stating that the titans are dead was a needed splash of cold water on that line of thinking.
My thought re: Laudna is that it's slightly more metaphorical. Consider her backstory: a conquering force swept in and destroyed most of what had been there before. She is a relic both of that earlier time and of that conquering force, and the subjugation she experienced never truly stopped, even though Whitestone has moved on. Of course she'd see herself in the titans in the telling of stories about the titans! People like Percy get to return and revitalize and build a new family and grow old and happy and die, despite their trauma, and she's caught between life and death forever. Of course she'd relate to some half-buried thing that people call monstrous and ancient and displaced! But that doesn't actually help her do anything about her situation and it's not a philosophy that really is useful in understanding the larger geopolitical (and, frankly, cosmic) reality happening right now, because, yeah, if you let the titans back, people will die.
For both these characters - who have spoken to each other about being physically altered and left for dead, alone, in ways no one else can quite understand, I think there's something immensely seductive about the idea of something older than the gods, something defeated but could rise again, which both is relatable to their own situations and comes neatly packaged with a reason why it didn't save you when you called out. But it's still a fantasy. It's not real, it's not going to happen, and so it's important that Evontra'vir, who as Jirana said, does not mince words, called it out for what it is. The titans are dead. Something of their essences does remain for you to use to make a choice. You are going to have to do this using your own judgment; you are doing the saving; stop worrying about the dead and start thinking about what you will do to serve the living.
I think an emerging theme of this campaign - and arguably a secondary theme of the past campaigns, and really, the theme of D&D if you think about it, is that the person you developed into because of your trauma, and the coping mechanisms and behaviors and presentation you developed as a result may eventually cease to serve you once you find a support network and begin to be given more and more agency within the world; and indeed, if you cling to these things they will begin to hurt those around you, and eventually you as well. I think "The Titans are dead" is one way to very, very bluntly and effectively communicate that.
#answered#Anonymous#critical role spoilers#ashton greymoore#laudna#re the last paragraph i do find that this campaign the fandom voice in favor of NO WHAT IF I NEVER NEED TO CHANGE is louder#or perhaps i just had it better tuned out in c2 or perhaps the nein made a more inhospitable growth medium for that particular breed of mol#anyway. evontra'vir was right. titans are dead. nice dichotomy idiot. what lies outside it.#critical role
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i know it’s kind of redundant given that a lot of my blog functions as a historical archive in itself, and especially my reviews where i try and post every bit of production art i can find coinciding with the short being reviewed, but i’m seriously considering starting a side blog of exclusively posting LT production art because there have been too many times where i’ve seen some production art, went “i love this!”, forgotten to save it and never found it again. much to ponder
#though perhaps rhetorically because i think i’ve already made up my mind#it’d just be so nice to have on hand and organized as well#i can organize by director and decide and character and medium………………. oh yeah#not that anything on this blog will change of course but it would be nice to have a more dedicated space for organization#this has been brought to you by: i talk about these cartoons too often and can’t find the good production art when i need it#this is also brought to you by: i saw a really appealing Chuck Jones layout for Jumpin Jupiter the other day that i haven’t been able to#find since thus inspiring the above hypothetical in the post
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Trying oil painting for the first time and realising that painters stand far away from the canvas:
1) to get a better overview of the whole piece and not get trapped in detail
but maybe more importantly:
2) to avoid accidentally smudging the whole thing to shit by accidentally brushing against it ;;_____;;
#realising very quickly that i need to lean in (metaphorically) to how the medium works and alter my style accordingly to make best use of it#that means using the fact i can move the paint around for cool effects and also being aware of that fact when i dont want it to change....
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The most frustrating part of being someone who mostly draws now trying to getting into writing, is that I can picture what I want in my head and how I would represent it visually.. but how the hell do I describe important forgotten object hiding away out of sight that the characters haven’t noticed is missing yet??
#im just yelling into the void aaaa#getting into writing isn’t a choice that damn game and my ocs have control#in comics I could highlight the forgotten bolt on the ground out of sight and forgotten.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#perhaps a narrator is needed.. or having them notice but not think anything of it at the time#or maybe I just need to change how the problem occurs..?#storytelling in different mediums is more difficult than anticipated#maybe I just need to alternate between drawing and writing scenes#typos! is posting again
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ohhhh saeem... dude i am also not neurotypical so i latch onto characters and they are my everything until my hyperfix decides they're not. which. i have a charcater i've felt super attached to for years b/c of that and dear jesus your little unova scientist ace twerp is one of them.
SO REAL OF YOU!!! i do the same thing...
whenever i get a new hyperfixation, i pick one character to latch onto and run off with them. this time it just happened to be Colress, which was unexpected because i had literally forgotten he existed before i rewatched b&w a few months back. the reason i read the manga was to see more of Ingo & Emmet, but instead i walked out of that with a new favorite.......
usually i move onto a new character within a few months or so (because i also have adhd, so i get bored of things quite quickly) BUT!!! i am very much hoping this one lasts longer. i will grasp onto this scientist specifically until my last breath i swear..............
obligatory random Colress image
#he will not be free of me.....#i want to draw him more but immmggg burning ouuuttttt#that usually means i need to change my medium#but i dont want to#ms paint forever (im in hell)#rambles
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good luck, jane!
#the apocalypse players#praying this shows up in the tag this time#for some reason i love posting stuff i make at 1 a.m. when no one will see it lol#this was just supposed to be a simple dumb joke but then i went down the internet rabbit hole of kinetic typography#made in lightworks which is not meant for this at all. but i bent it to my will. with mixed results#i completely understand why they don't but MAN i wish this podcast had a visual component so I could make gifs of it#i really want to make stuff for it but i need a visual medium 🥲#oops i didn't actually say the episode number. it's the first one. i'd change it but if i look at this anymore i'll begin to hate it sdkjk
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.
#okay but reading this Belloc essay on Austen really made something click in my mind#and it’s because of something he said#which is that women care more about what men think of them generally#(as a general rule. not all the time. etc.)#and men care more about the opinion of the one woman they care about#like women do care (as a first instinct at least) what every man she meets thinks of her#but men are mostly indifferent. until they’re NOT.#which makes women more vulnerable to a greater number of people#but men are MORE painfully vulnerable to the woman whose opinion they care about#and I don’t actually know that that vulnerability only extends to a woman they are attracted to/feel romantic feelings for#I think if they just think well of you as a person you (a woman) have a lot of power over them#which is sooooo interesting and makes so much sense!!!! and is something I’ve sort of been dancing around with teaching#like. a lot of the boys I teach come to care about what I think about them#which doesn’t mean they all have a crush on me. though that step can be super easy and super small#hence the need for the boundaries of steel etc. but it does mean that they care what I think about them!#and I’ve always felt that instinctively and felt that I had to be so gentle with them because the power to crush them is mine if I so choose#don’t let me overstate it. it doesn’t happen all the time or anything close to it. but the thing about me being a teacher is that#they are forced to know me not just in a surface-level way. simply because I spend so much time with them#and talk to them a lot!#ANYWAY. enough about me but yeah this hit me so hard and of course exceptions exist#and/or endless variations on this exist because people are unique and surprising and also everything is changing all the time#etc. etc. but there is something to this I think! and you know what#it’s so interesting because that base-level instinct for women (allowing it to be a thing I mean) can be grown out of#I have trained myself out of/maturity has helped me leave behind that immediate female instinct#of being hurt at the idea that this random waiter (for example) is indifferent towards me. I’ve come to accept it#the instinct is still there!!! because imo women are always scanning and searching and sizing up. and also we are so open to being won over#if that makes sense? which is why insta comments complaining about how only good looking men get away with things like. PLEASE.#there are so many medium-ugly men who get married. it’s the average because the average woman is prettier than the average man#(this is not an insult) women CAN be and usually are so open to being surprised. won over. moved by the simple fact that a guy likes them#and men are not like that. but my point is: men don’t grow out of caring if they care. when they care they care sooooooo much. anyways yeah
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ur allowed to make whatever you want as an artist?? ur not required to keep a certain style and make your work harmonious?? UR ALLOWED TO HAVE FUN?? no way
#text post#i think i am going through a style change rn#also desperately need to change my medium…#fabrics or paper mache#maybe painting?? idk#ripping the room apart with my teeth#wanna make ppl things. .#waaaagh#i hate it here
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Giving my hair the Big Chop soon. I’ve decided
#nothing CRAZY like it’s down to my lower back rn#but I want it a little shorter#like down to my middle backish. still long but medium long#I’m going curly most of the time these days and i want more curl to the roots. which is not that possible w gravity#plus I wanna go crazy w diff cute hairstyles & I think having it shorter would just make it easier for me to learn different stuff faster#AND it would make for more healthy growth. it’s fine. it’s time#plus my hair grows fast so if I rly didn’t like it I wouldn’t be without my waist long hair for long#trying so hard not 2 change my mind ab this bc I know it’s a much needed change#p
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if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.
#toy txt post#or maybe i am just sameface syndrome#but also different face syndrome#two characters will have the same face but then the next time i draw those characters its a different face than they had last time!#i know part of it is being out of practice but also there is definitely an element of feeling constrained by human facial structure lmao#the monsters have Their Own Problems but like. no one has a face like bokrae no matter how inconsistent i am about drawing her#her features are iconic enough to her that you can tell everytime#birdie???? i faceclaimed eartha kitt for her and im still struggling cos i feel weird about faceclaiming as a concept#but even then 😭 one time i was trying to give headloose a face and someone was like wow he looks like birdie!#me 😭😭😭😭😭 what!!!!!! hes not supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to practice. features#you know the worst part about coming up w a bunch of fuckin Scenarios in my brain for ocs is that i have even fucking Drawn them yet#to give them like. iconic staple features and figure out what their faces look like. which feels like it would really help to have that#knowledge and muscle memory before i jump into trying to draw intense scenes with difficult poses!!#not to mention. listen. i can do the monster faces. somewhat. the bodies??????????? well for one. theyre too big everytime#im convinced i could be trying to draw bokrae on like a full ass wall size paper like a mural thing and run out of room. it just keeps#happening. i have no sense of scale for them either. by which i mean i struggle w scale already and also cant decide what i want it to be#and ive tried to handwave it away by being like ohhh uh. birdie casts spells on them to change their sizes for convenience but also#no. perhaps that explanation works for other ppl. @ myself tho its not good enough i Know Better!!!!!!#agh!!!!!!! i really need to figure out bokrae's Teeth also. like i dont. i coukd get away with it. but i should. and i want to.#anyway all this to say that i need to give these characters faces and body designs (actually the body designs for humanoid ocs is the easy#part. the faces are whats stumping me? well. i need more practice w all the body types again but like i Know what im Going For at least.#for the most part anyway. havent fully figured out heights. struggling w characters that i want to make short but give imposing tall energy#on occasion? birdie can be short all day long no problem. I want Alasdair to be short enough that he has a bunch of short boyfriends that#feel tall around him? bytte was going to be like 6ft max but then i thought about making her taller and like. what if i made her taller#headloose is not that /short/ but he is Not Tall and prolly pretty lean? twink build for sure#and of course all these short /tall distinctions come with a bias of relativity to my own height which i categorize as medium height#but short ppl call me tall and insist its not average and tall ppl call me short. (5'6) and then i have to factor in how the gender changes#the dynamic of a height like my height is Short For A Man but medium to tall for a Woman. which id argue is medium height bc mens heights#are socially held to high standards (hehe) and also i know ethnicity/race is also a factor? but im out of tags. rip. bye
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Saw the Deaf Missions - Jesus Film
I’m actually pretty impressed with how it was handled and the production. They didn’t hold back the historical accuracy and didn’t play emotional manipulation. I still have my same concerns as always with second commandment violations, but I won’t immediately condemn the film.
#the there were maybe two scenes that made me sigh but not because they were heresy#just because they were changes to the narrative needed to put the account into this medium#but it wasn’t blasphemy#still sorting out the full feelings about it but yeah#g.txt#deaf#asl#Deaf Missions: Jesus
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thank youuuu @salamanders-please for letting me know that my Wardens can look like Wardens in Origins :D
#it's still a bit overwhelming for an only-occasional pc player like myself to see *just how many mods there are* wheeeee#hopefully i have everything right to get these automatically after the joining if i start a new game (whenever that might be)#oh this also means i can have a whole pack of appropriately-armored wardens running around in awakening too doesn't it? haha#the rogue/medium armor especially just looks so Nice to me#i loved getting it for hawke but personally i didn't think it made any lore sense to have her wear it#my inquisitor *did* wear it but i changed it to different colors to look less... warden-y#the mage/light one looks pretty cool too - i guess i need to try being a mage#...i may also need to get the mod that lets you see what you're typing in the dev console‚ bc despite considering myself an accomplished-#touch typist‚ i was wholly incapable of blind typing “runscript givewardenarmors”. it took 4 tries. i had to look at my fingers. shameful.#elle plays da
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Does anyone know where I can find the good quality version of this image? It's so frustrating because when cross searching on google it'll tell me the original quality is 850x478, but I can't find a way to download it in that quality. This is another version of the image (I'm guessing it's Mayoi promo art):
But I liked the clean white background one...
#It's cute...#It's got Akutagawa stealing glances at Atsushi#Thought asking was worth a try ;;;;;;#Google cross image search has changed and as someone who used it as I use breathing it's been absolutely heartbreaking.#It makes cross searching images so much harder it's awful#Because before when you looked up an image it suggested you the best quality avaible of that image.#And the search got worse every year but it was still functional you know??#But now there's not that anymore. There's no “large” “medium” “small” and instead it only gives you “find image source”#Dude I don't want to find the image source. I've downloaded the image I KNOW the source. What I want is ANOTHER SOURCE with better quality#And I used to get it when I was 10 and I used to get it when I was 15 and I sued to get it when I was 20#And now I don't have it anymore?? It stripes away one of the most powerful search tools on the internet from the public????#It drives me insane. Like why does internet get worse every year that's not how humanity is supposed to work#Sorry. I needed to rant. This makes every quality-freak media archivist (like me) job harder beyond comparison#Btw if you're looking for an alternative Yandex images still does the work... It's not as powerful search engine as google#and it's often going to miss the particular hidden media (y'know- super niche Akutagawa merch from 2018 and stuff)#But for the rest it does a pretty good job. If anything there's still the best quality avaible option#But seriously looking up stuff for aktgw-daily has gotten so much harder ever since this fucked up change to google lens#and it makes me hate the world. I haven't been able to find a way to reverse it but if anyone more tech savy than me who has any idea-#what I'm talking about can help me. Please please hmu I'll be grateful forever#Sorry for the rant I have a lot of pent up rage over this. Stop making broke people's lives harder challenge#random rambles
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