#need this two married

[shepherdxdrake]

Barson NEED justice on tv show

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

Actually, I know damn well Darcy never sat down and thought about marrying Lizzie. If he had, it would have been a week before he was rounding up Bingley, sitting him down, and looking him in the eye like he was about to propose high treason and going, "Jane. You still down bad for her?"

Coin toss whether Bingley would actually get to answer before Darcy turned around and flipped over a whiteboard like

and launched right into the most detailed migration pattern known to Regency England to keep the extraneous Bennets as contained as humanly possible by rotating them between various Bingley/Darcy estates. Like, we're talking about trading them off for minor holidays a decade out kind of detailed.

"If you and Jane take them for Lady Day ten years hence, Elizabeth and I will take them for Michaelmas. We'll all be together for Christmas and Midsummer, so we'll divide the responsibility individually on those days."

This would be followed by thirteen different spreadsheets projecting joint expenditures so Bingley knows what sort of financial commitment he'll be shouldering and how to minimize it, what proportion Darcy will take care of, what the estate plans are in case Darcy predeceases anybody, when they should probably roll out various stages to keep it from affecting their respective sisters' ability to maximize their own husband-hunting--whole nine yards.

Darcy does not know that he'll probably be murdered when the Bingley sisters find out why he asked for their social calendars. He'd be marginally fine with that at this point, because the fucking Napoleonic War campaigns were not as meticulously planned as his roadmap to getting the other three Bennets satisfactorily married, and Darcy feels about as able as if he'd spent the last year on Elba.

It takes Bingley a few minutes to realize why this is happening, then he's like

"You proposed to Elizabeth?! Congratulations!"

Darcy... knew there was something he was forgetting.

That man would have kicked the Collins's door open with four binders tucked under each arm, dumped them in a pile in front of Elizabeth, and loudly announced that if they get married tomorrow he can have her entire family except for Jane extraordinary renditioned to the Scottish moors by Sunday and then been like

"Why are you yelling at me?! I promise you, it will work! You'll never see anyone in your family except for Jane again, I swear it!" when she starts yelling at him.

[corsairspade]

Halenthir but none of the Finweans believe Haleth is real because they all assume Caranthir made up a spouse so he could leverage his marriage status for tax concessions. Caranthir is extremely mad about this. Haleth thinks it’s hilarious.

[sorrelpaws]

They make such a nice couple. The king and queen are pretty nice too. Heheheh.

[deathandnonexistentialdread]

They are so insane for each other that they surpassed the need for any kind of label

[serpentface]

Wardin provincial tax magistrate on the annual Apomalo Tlinya (phrase close in meaning to 'journey of the late (autumn) sun'), which is a tax collection tour.

His station is marked by his white cloak, royal blue belt, gullfeather khattanocuy, the ability to bear a sword, and a scroll containing documents stamped with the Usoma's seal confirming his identity and authority. He does not travel alone, but is accompanied by a large retinue of scribes, soldiers, advisors, and servants.

All citizens have tax obligations regardless of class, and these are owed primarily in grain and livestock. This is based in this internal economy being predominantly a barter system (with its coin currency having direct value as precious metals and serving as a means of establishing fixed values for various trade goods) and heavily reliant on agricultural goods. It is significantly more difficult to evade or cheat on taxes when what you owe can be established by sight, measured in hard to miss livestock and fields of crops.

As such, taxes are collected via annual tours in which these magistrates (personally appointed by the Usoma and collecting in his name) tour their lands in person. The Apomalo Tlinya serves multiple purposes. It is primarily a method of collecting tax, but also doubles as a way to assess a province's agricultural wealth and well-being as a whole and to take an official census of the population.

This routine act of taxation has been integrated into official religious practice, being looped in with the bounty of the harvest season and thanksgiving to the face Inyamache for having provided the necessary long summer sunlight as the days grow shorter. The actual Apomalo Tlinya begins upon the official celebrations of the New Maize day in each capital city (usually observed on a separate day at the actual end of the harvest for each village), where the festival ends with the tax party leaving the city in procession. The magistrate always ceremonially rides a red bull khait, bearing a solar disk framed by royal dual-viper insignia on its horns. The bull's journey is compared to the ideal seasonal behavior of the sun, generating new life out of rain-fertile earth and then 'dying' after the harvest to allow for the rains to come. Villages who host the Apomalo Tlinya entourage each night experience a fringe benefit via permission to introduce any receptive mares to the bull and possibly get some (very valuable) calves out of it. The bull will be sacrificed at the end of the journey in a final act of thanksgiving, in hopes this offering will help ensure the next year is bountiful.

The attempted veneer of solar thanksgiving and harvest cheer aside, the Apomalo Tlinya visit is enjoyed by just about no one (except for perhaps the people lucky enough to get a pretty khait calf out of it), as it entails the personal loss of some of this aforementioned harvest. Nobility owe SUBSTANTIALLY higher taxes than commoners (given that they are considered to Own the majority of the crops/livestock, which is only Tended by their land's peasants), though the actual tax burden is proportionately steeper on the peasantry (whose tax obligations will come primarily out of their allotted share of the harvest, and/or any livestock they raise on the side). Taxes don't tend to be outright devastating in years with average crop yields, but an already bad year can be made ruinous by this visit. The timing also coincides with seasonal harvest festivities. A few unlucky villages every year may have their New Maize feast day interrupted by the sound of horns and a small legion of white-clad taxmen bearing down to collect.

Each province has only one tax magistrate, making this a lengthy and logistically complicated undertaking. It begins at the end of the harvest season (late summer), and the rounds may not finish until early winter. While it might be easier to divide these duties among a greater number of less-powerful officials, this allows taxation to remain Relatively centralized and performed by trusted appointees (often friends or relatives of the Usoma himself). This has had side effects of these officials becoming especially powerful individuals within each province, with very little checks in place to prevent corruption (beyond hope for sustained loyalty, often reinforced with special privileges and favors). Flagrant abuse of this system is rare, but more unpopular magistrates are commonly suspected to leverage additional off-the-books taxes for their own personal gain.

[gundamthey17]

definitely don't think about why a psychic would have been helpful for the Case of the Shrieking Doll. don't think about how Edwin is terrified of dolls and won't say why, but Charles knows it must have something to do with hell. don't think about Charles wanting to spare Edwin pain but needing his help to close the case and Edwin facing his fears because a good detective does what he must to solve the case

[marronje]

I promised and I did it

I call this ✨strawberry Ochako✨

Not perfect, but I tried to make it practical (I just wanted to give Ocha some cool pants)

(my rambling about the og design which started it all)

Special thanks to @lily-claw, your input was major here haha (maybe that's why I've stolen the "KILL WITH MY KNEES" idea y'know XD)

And these are with the massage points if any of you are curious

[imagine-to-be-a-pike]

Mu qing Taking care of little hong-er is my favorite headcanon ever. BUT I HAVE ONE SPECIFIC SCENE IN MY HEAD

Mu qing sweeping the floors, hong-er hanging around him, and mu qing looking into the distance at feng xin training. And the kid is like "you like this guy?"

And mu qing is like: no??? Even if, I can't. We are...we will always be below them, remember that. Besides, it's not like I could marry him or anything.

And over 800 years later, after the canon Fengqing is getting married and Mu Qing is getting ready and suddenly someone walks in to his room.

Hua Cheng,Because who else

And mu qing is like: what do you want Crimson Rain Sought Flower,Ruin my wedding?

And Hua is like: it's not like you can marry him or anything

And mu qing its like from >:( ,,What the hell are you talking about" to "...you remember?"

and Hua just laughs and then he's like "hurry up, gege will be sad if you're late for your own wedding" *fixing his veil*

[cecropiacrown]

Thinking about Mu Qing who has bouts of sleeplessness that only his roommate and rival-turned-friend, Feng Xin, knows about. Just the inherent intimacy of having shared that secret - even if it was out of necessity - ruins me. So, just imagine:

One sleepless night, Feng Xin finds himself getting up to pee at 2:30 in the morning, only to realize Mu Qing is awake and in the living room. Mu Qing is dressed for bed, his hair is down, and he has his glasses on. He's trying to read a book all curled up in the corner of the couch that Feng Xin typically sits in.

Feng Xin finishes washing his hands in the bathroom and then goes to sit with Mu Qing on the couch - closer than they would sit if this was during the day. There's a single lamp on in the room and the two of them stay quiet.

Feng Xin picks up some kind of handheld game and plays for a bit with the volume turned down all the way, and just keeps Mu Qing company.

After a good while, Mu Qing shifts and pushes his glasses up into his hair to rub at his eyes and the bridge of his nose, leaving his book on the arm of the couch. Feng Xin recognizes this for what it is - an invitation - and sets his game back onto the coffee table.

The two aren't new to this so Feng Xin doesn't hesitate when he says in a low, warm voice: "Let's go to sleep, A-Qing."

And Mu Qing doesn't fight him. He sets his glasses on the table and turns the lamp off.

The two of them walk through the dark and to Feng Xin's room.

The first few times they did this, it was difficult for both of them. It was vulnerable and tense and Mu Qing couldn't help but fight and cringe - but it's easy now, when they crawl into bed together.

Mu Qing only stops for a moment - like he might be thinking it over - before he lets himself relax into Feng Xin's arms and rest his head on his chest.

Feng Xin eases them into the bed, makes sure they're properly covered with the blanket, and then threads his fingers through Mu Qing's hair.

He finger-combs the ends before working up along the nape of Mu Qing's neck and up further after that to scratch gently at his scalp. So tender - he strokes Mu Qing's hair until they both fall soundly asleep.

[sunshine-zenith]

TWO fairies who grant wishes for you? No, one fairy, plus the guy who lives in her house, hangs out with her when she’s working, and is legally bound to her by marriage

[alaskanna]

My apologies if someone has already brought this up, but I just thought of something quite heartbreaking.

When Wednesday chooses to go to Tyler and kiss him, that that is the first time someone, anyone has shown him genuine tenderness in many years, and from a real desire to connect with him. His relationship with his father has been poor, Laurel is preying on him, and he doesn’t seem to have any actual friends.

[stormyoceans]

im not saying fucking nasty and becoming obsessed with each other would have solved everything....it would have probably only made them worse actually....but i think they should have tried it anyway. for science

[ilikedetectives]

Minthara Baenre Baldur's Gate 3 (2023) by Larian Studios (x)

[lacystar]

Does anyone ever think

[stiltonbasket]

calamitous beauty verse lsz grows up to be a calamitous beauty himself, and now lwj is seen clutching bichen and writing letters to jfm and jc for advice.

Sizhui: Dad, I am aroace and do not want a partner. Please stop tormenting Bichen this way. 😔

Lan Wangji: Your A-Die never wanted one until he met me, but that didn't stop everyone else from pursuing him without being encouraged to do so. OTL