#calamitous beauty wwx

[stiltonbasket]

Short crack Prompt:

Wei Wuxian inherited many things from his mother, but he got his father's hair, thick, long, lustrous and silky. His hair has always been longer than most and darker than midnight. He doesn't want to cut it, but hates it coming onto his face, on his hands on his sword while he's doing anything, THUS, ✨he braids it✨.

It's a long thick braid, reaching below his thighs and sitting on his shoulders without his permission. Whenever he turns around or is sword drilling, it swishes behind him like it has a life of it's own.

Bonus: wwx in braid is many people's gay / straight awakening. Jc and yzh has to keep away suiters (and creeps) behind wwx , cuz he's oblivious to other's crush on him. As he's busy looking at lwj 🙃

"Lan-xiong," Nie Huaisang says one afternoon, while Lan Wangji is trying to meditate in the courtyard behind the Yashi. "There's something you ought to know before the guest disciples get here."

Lan Wangji squints at him.

"What is it?" he says flatly. Knowing Nie Huaisang as he does, he guesses that Huaisang intends to relay some piece of gossip; but as telling tales about others is strictly forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, Nie Huaisang ought to know better than to attempt such a thing before the clan's Head of Discipline.

"It's about Yunmeng Jiang," Nie Huaisang says.

"What about Yunmeng Jiang?" Lan Wangji has had little to do with the cultivators of Yunmeng Jiang, but he doubts that a class of their most talented disciples could cause much trouble at the lectures. "Have Jiang-zongzhu's daughter and her shidimei decided not to come?"

Nie Huaisang waves his fan in dismissal. "Oh, nothing so serious as that. It's only—well, have you heard of Wei Wuxian?"

"Briefly. He is Jiang-zongzhu's head disciple, is he not?"

The aforementioned Wei Wuxian's instatement as head disciple was an occasion of some note in the Jianghu, Lan Wangji remembers. For one thing, Wei Wuxian is not a bloodline member of the clan: though this is not so uncommon amongst the latest generation of head disciples, especially in sects where clan disciples are not the majority. For another, Wei Wuxian was apparently disfavored by his shimu from the day Jiang Fengmian first brought him to Lotus Pier at the age of five—and when the news of his appointment reached Lanling Jin last year, there was a great deal of murmuring about how Yu Ziyuan had taken it.

"He is the head disciple," Nie Huaisang says gravely, "but that is of no importance here. The trouble is—oh, it's just a word, don't look like that—is that Wei-gongzi is a calamitous beauty, and his shidimen wrote to me asking whether the Cloud Recesses would be willing to assist in his protection during the lectures."

He holds out a letter and passes it to Lan Wangji. "Here. Jiang-xiong explained everything."

Much to Lan Wangji's regret, the letter's contents are exactly as Nie Huaisang described them. Apparently, Wei Wuxian—referred to in the letter as da-shixiong, as it had been penned by Jiang Wanyin and his biaodi Yu Zhenhong—is both too handsome for his own good and dangerously charming; and as a result, Jiang Wanyin professes, his shixiong leaves a trail of broken hearts wherever he goes.

The last time we visited Lanling—which we would not have done if we had any choice, but the fact of my sister's betrothal ensured that we had precious little say in the matter—five of Jin Zixuan's cousins came to blows at the sight of my shige, each insisting that she and no other would be engaged to him in the future, Jiang Wanyin writes. One of the girls jilted her intended on the spot, vowing that she no longer wished to see him again as long as Wei Wuxian walked the earth; and her intended tore off the yaopei she had gifted him and flung it into the nearest koi pond before declaring that she need not worry about keeping their engagement, for he no longer had any love for her and now wished to bring our da-shixiong into his clan as a bride.

Lan Wangji looks up in dismay. "What?"

"Read on," Nie Huaisang advises grimly. "It gets worse."

Yesterday, he stole a flower from a local bun-girl and went to market with the bloom behind his ear; and later, we received news that the sight of him caused six carriages, nine produce wagons, and two riders on horseback to crash when he stopped to cross the street. He returned home after buying all the ruined produce and helping the women who were bruised in the melee, without the slightest idea that it only occurred because the driver of the first carriage was blinded by the sunlight reflected upon his hair; and the next morning, Fuqin received so many petitioners asking for Wei Wuxian's hand in marriage that he hung a sign at the gates to announce that he would entertain no suitors until after Wei Wuxian comes of age.

"Guanyin in heaven," Lan Wangji hears himself croak, stunned. "How—?"

Nie Huaisang shrugs. "If you ask me, it's the hair."

Lan Wangji shakes his head and looks back down at the letter in disbelief.

Thus, it is my hope that you will inform the second Young Master Lan about the two latest incidents, and impress upon him the importance of restraint in the Lan disciples—and in all the others who will come to study under Lan-laoshi—well before we arrive. (This passage is written in a more graceful hand, likely Yu Zhenhong's.) Our seventh shimei once fell off the pier and into the lake because da-shixiong smiled at her, and no trouble came of it because Lingxi-shimei is a strong swimmer; but if Lan-laoshi's disciples keep falling down the mountain because da-shixiong braided his hair instead of putting it up, someone might truly end up coming to harm.

"This beggars belief," Lan Wangji says doubtfully. "Can one man truly...?"

"I've seen him," Nie Huaisang replies. "And yes. Keep reading."

"'And if it would not be too much trouble,'" Lan Wangji reads aloud, "'please also consult Lan-er-gongzi or Zewu-jun on the subject of da-shixiong's safety.' Safety?"

Nie Huaisang winces. "Wei-xiong is very lovely to look upon," he offers, "and from his dress, it is not always clear that he has the backing of a great sect. Some men do not take well to being told no by a beauty."

"And by some men, you mean the men of Lanling Jin?"

"One never knows where such dangers may come from," Nie Huaisang tells him. "But if you ask me, you ought to keep an eye on the Jins anyway. Apart from Jin Zixuan, I doubt there's a single man in this year's course who doesn't hate Wei Wuxian for enchanting all the Jin girls."

Lan Wangji nods and rises to his feet. "I will handle this matter," he says decisively, turning towards the open door to the Lanshi. "You write back to Jiang-gongzi, and inform him that the Cloud Recesses will be duly prepared for his shige's arrival."

The Lan disciples are prepared accordingly; for over the next week, Lan Wangji orders all the male disciples between fifteen and twenty-five to copy the sect precepts concerning restraint, and ensures that none of the maiden disciples over the age of twelve will have cause to meet Wei Wuxian save for his own sect sisters. Fortunately for everyone concerned, Wei-gongzi is said to be twice as brilliant as he is beautiful: which means that Shufu is easily persuaded to place him in the advanced lectures reserved for disciples who would be hampered by study with the rest of their age-mates. Lan Wangji is the sole male disciple allowed to attend those lectures; so for much of his time at the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian's only classmates will be a pair of married women and Lan Wangji himself.

Lan Wangji thinks better of the arrangement three weeks later, when he is carried to the infirmary after meeting Wei Wuxian on the mountain path and falling thirty feet into a copse of trees below.

"I'm so sorry. Lan-er-gongzi, I'm really sorry," Wei Wuxian gasps, gripping Lan Wangji's clenched fists as Xiongzhang and one of the healers set his broken legs at the other end of the bed. "You can hold on as tightly as you like, all right? Zewu-jun is nearly finished."

Lan Wangji closes his eyes tightly.

"What have I done?" he hears Wei Wuxian mutter to himself. "I'm so clumsy. I'll look after you until you're better again, second Young Master, just say the word and I—"

"Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji feels his brother's fingers twitch against his knee.

"What?"

"Not—not Lan-er-gongzi," Lan Wangji wheezes. "You may call me Lan Zhan."

Wei Wuxian beams at him with tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. "You're not angry?"

"No."

His eyes fall shut again, provoking a sound of utter desolation from Wei Wuxian. "Here, I'll take that ribbon off," Wei Wuxian says soothingly, his rough hands stroking Lan Wangji's hot forehead. "Your ears are burning up. You'll feel better as soon as it's gone."

At the foot of the bed, Lan Xichen makes a choking sound: but Lan Wangji cannot bring himself to care.

"Mm," Lan Wangji sighs, smiling. "Thank you, Young Master Wei."

[llycaons]

38. fuck, man

I always skip the op but today my computer was lagging so I heard about a minute of it and tbh, it’s a really good song. it rises in energy right at the minute mark and it sounds appropriately dramatic and sweeping. the visuals suck though

jiang clan bells were a huge thing in the novel and everyone had their own set, including wwx. but there’s so little information given here it’s really up to the viewer to determine their importance

when people talk about yi city arc, they mostly refer to the events of the flashback. almost everything important has already happened

I think meeting a-qing really brightened xxc’s life. before he met her, he seemed very grave and solemn. rejected by his best friend/beloved, completely alone, wandering the world. he takes everything in stride but I think becoming family with a-qing made him very happy. she makes him smile

and I love a-qing. I was so stoked that cql had a “morally gray” (she’s never done anything wrong lbr) female character, someone clever and mischievous and dishonest, who took fun where she could get it and showed courage far beyond what most cultivators could manage

her death still makes me so upset...the amount of love and loyalty she must have had for xxc and the hatred and vengeance she had towards xy...but she could never harm him directly because little girls have no power here. damn

sleeping in a coffin!!! what a legend

we know xxc is naive and honest and trusting and self-sacrificing, but the fact that a-qing told him how suspicious their new friend is and he just patted her head and laughed it off? the disrespect. she’s survived for so long on her wits alone and he just brushes her off...

there aren’t many people in the cql world like xxc, or SL. genuinely upright and noble, honest and selfless

how did he survive up until now if he never accepted payment for his work? I can believe he accepted food and shelter, but did he accept charity, is that how he had money for a-qing to steal?

if the temple attack occurred right before sunshot, that’s maybe three years before wwx’s death. a-qing and xxc meet a decade ago, then live with x*e y*ng for three more years. so that’s 12 years SL spent searching for xxc and 7 years he spent as a corpse puppet, roughly

I can’t believe their little fucked up domestic life in coffin town lasted for three years. why didn’t farmers ever call for help to stop this freak from intimidating them and stealing their vegetables? why didn’t xxc ever think that living in an abandoned town full of corpses and coffins was a bad idea? how did they get necessities besides food? was xy literally just stealing everything and xxc just never questioned it?

there’s so much banter here and it’s so lighthearted, and xxc has such genuine affection and fondness for this persona that xy is projecting, that I can absolutely see the interpretation that they were in a relationship during these years. there are so many little details like xxc putting the candy on xy’s bed that lean towards that. and like I said, I think it makes xxc’s breakdown later even more poignant. but I don’t want that to have happened so I��ll continue to avoid considering it

wwx states outright that xy abused xxc’s blindness and deceived him into murdering innocent people and lied to him about his identity the whole time as if it wasn’t abundantly clear already that this was a bad relationship and xxc deserved to be as far away from xy as possible

ah, song lan finally appears. calamitous beauty!!

SL’s big mistake back then was blowing up at xxc and lashing out, blaming the person he loved most still alive for the deaths of his martial family. and he does the same thing here acting on emotion and not thinking! it’s an understandable reaction, but rushing in to attack xy was the wrong choice

don’t be weird about this but SL and jc have parallels of lashing out and blaming other people (their friends/family) for tragedies that happened to them, while wwx and xxc secretly sacrificed part of themselves to that person to protect or make amends to them after they lost something due to that attack

his devastation here my god it’s been over a decade and he still loves xxc so much and seeing him manipulated and mocked by their oldest and cruelest enemy...must seem like a nightmare to him. of course he attacked immediately

maybe if he’d waited for xy to leave, then went in with a-qing to explain himself, things wouldn’t have gone so badly for everyone?

“Is that you?” scene is stunning in every way

in a story that relies so much of the character conflict on miscommunication, I wonder if it was intentional that the villain of this arc removed SL’s way to communicate with xxc. not the only way, obviously, but when xxc can’t see and SL can’t speak, then they have to rely entirely on the sense of touch and writing to say things to each other. and they never touch

[stiltonbasket]

Art by the wonderful XxMiserySmilesxX for the calamitous beauty wwx AU! Featuring a blissful Lan Wangji who broke his legs because he was too busy staring at his future husband to watch where he was going, plus soon-to-be Lan-furen Wei Wuxian. 🤣

[stiltonbasket]

lwj is just marinating in the cold pond, trying to keep it together? Except troll brother lxc is still sending wwx out to the cold pond? lwj probably trips and hits his head, and makes wwx go in after him so he doesn't drown.

Lan Xichen, over tea in the Hanshi: Sometimes evil in pursuit of an essential cause is...justified. Necessary, even.

Nie Mingjue, horrified at the prospect of the love of his life descending into villainy: Lan Huan, no. That's exactly how Wen Ruohan started, you can't-

Lan Xichen: For example, I want nieces and nephews. To this end, I am willing to commit the sin of Almost Giving Wangji A Heart Attack.

Nie Mingjue:

[stiltonbasket]

I read calamity WWX and I thought he is a ghost but I have been pleasantly disappointed XD

Tho he probably could destroy a nation so I guess the title still stands xdddd

Jiang sect should marry him off to LWJ. Others will still fall for him but now Laz Zhan will be officially able to kick them into oblivion and protect him himself :D

Also Lan Zhan should give Wei Ying private lessons :3 y'know, so he doesn't fall behind in his studies :33

Also X2 Lan Zhan would absolutely slip and say "you" if Wei Ying asks him who's the most beautiful person he's ever seen. And Lan Zhan should absolutely keep complimenting WWX cause I don't doubt he would be all like "nooo, stop it Lan Zhan". I can feel the force that is Lan Zhan realising Wei Ying doesn't think he's serious. Obliterate that twink boy I believe in you Wangji

-Moon anon

Calamitous beauty Wei Wuxian becomes Lan-er-furen Wei Wuxian before leaving the Cloud Recesses. Lan Wangji lasted through only 6 private lessons (not Wangji tutoring him, just small class sizes of 3-4 people) before he snapped.

He compliments Wei Wuxian all the time, but he uses compliments that focus on his character/actions! Lan Wangji fell for him when he heard a voice up the path worrying about a shijie who was walking around without a shawl, and Wei Wuxian just keeps being brilliant and caring about people, so Lan Wangji has a lot of fuel for compliments!

[stiltonbasket]

Calamitous beauty wwx! Do jc and yzh feel betrayed when the lan-er-gongzi they asked for help to protect wwx ends up being the one taking him away from lotus pier

Ps: it's my first ask although I've been a silent follower for almost 2 years now. I really love your writing. They are like warm sunshine on a cold winter morning and just warm up my heart

Mostly, they're relieved that Wei Wuxian now has a defender who manages to be more intimidating than the two of them and Jiang Fengmian put together!

[stiltonbasket]

one of the baoshi baos is stuck to calamitous beauty wwx like a tiny burr? wwx just takes the bao around with him b/c it's easier. Everyone's now 20% more in love.

Lan Qiren is so distraught by the results of this particular development (i.e., five rejected marriage proposals, two more accidents that involved broken bones and one that involved a concussion, and nine disciples going into seclusion after vowing that they could experience no joy in life after Wei Wuxian left the Cloud Recesses) that he writes a letter to Jiang Fengmian and begs him to take Wei Wuxian home. Unfortunately, Jiang Fengmian is now experiencing true peace for the first time since Wei Wuxian hit his last growth spurt and is using his short break from WWX-related catastrophes to get some sleep for once. (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`)

[stiltonbasket]

calamitous beauty verse lsz grows up to be a calamitous beauty himself, and now lwj is seen clutching bichen and writing letters to jfm and jc for advice.

Sizhui: Dad, I am aroace and do not want a partner. Please stop tormenting Bichen this way. 😔

Lan Wangji: Your A-Die never wanted one until he met me, but that didn't stop everyone else from pursuing him without being encouraged to do so. OTL

[stiltonbasket]

How did Lan Qiren reacted when he saw calamity! WWX and then his reaction when his beloved wangji also fell victim to his beauty?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He's having war flashbacks about the year every unattached Lan disciple at the Cloud Recesses was in love with either Cangse Sanren, Wei Changze, or both. Unfortunately, Lan Qiren was not exempt from the mass romantic frenzy. Dx

[stiltonbasket]

Half the reason that calamitous beauty wwx is getting so much attention is that he's honestly a nice person? Like, he's got a toddler in his lap in the dining hall and is helping feed the bao their lunch? the kid is just tiny, and can't help being messy, but wwx is patient and kind with the kid?

He's just good! He's so good! QAQ

[stiltonbasket]

Does Lan Wangji ever have a bit of a self-crisis over his instant love of Calamity Wei Wuxian? Like "literally everyone has fallen in love with this man; is what I feel true or just another person falling for him??" kinda deal? (I am a sucker for a bit of introspective angst. ^^; )

Lan Wangji comes to the conclusion that Wei Wuxian is just so good that anyone with a working heart would fall in love with him eventually. He even thinks that romantic orientation does not matter when the person in question is Wei Wuxian because Wei Wuxian is just that wonderful.

However, Lan Wangji did not actually get blinded by Wei Wuxian's beauty; he met WWX while the latter was fussing about Yanli forgetting to bring a shawl for the walk up to the Cloud Recesses and inventing a personal warming talisman for her on the spot (he had one before, but it's meant for drying clothes instantly after impromptu lake dips, so it would have made JYL too warm). LWJ was already on the verge of swooning, and then WWX turned around and hit him with his signature Angel Smile - and Lan Wangji was down. (Literally.)

[stiltonbasket]

calamitous beauty wwx loves kids as much as he does in any verse? So he's volunteering in the Baoshi? the kids ADORE him? lwj is out here trying not to be jealous that the baos are out here monopolizing wwx? getting fussed over by wwx? getting cuddled by wwx? getting sung to sleep by wwx? that wwx is helping them eat their dinners and wiping their little faces afterwards? that wwx is helping them with bathtime? lwj is going to go meditate in the cold pond.

Lan Wangji, desperate Lan disciple in love: Xiongzhang.

Lan Xichen: Yes? 👀

Lan Wangji: Wei Ying's cultivation is...very high. Much higher than mine, and I am the strongest Lan disciple of our generation.

Lan Xichen: This is true. 👀

Lan Wangji: Xiongzhang, I think I need a Trusted Figure to convince me not to drop everything and become a father before either Wei Ying or I are twenty. OTL

[stiltonbasket]

Poor Lan Qiren having to cope with having calamitous beauty Lan Xichen AND Wei Wuxian in one location at the same time! What did he do in a previous life to get karma like this??

Lan Qiren, after semi-calamitous beauty Lan Xichen is married off to one of the most protective men in the Jianghu: Oh thank God.

He only gets a two-year reprieve before Fully Calamitous Beauty WWX shows up. Lan Qiren is convinced this is his punishment for turning so many ladies down when he was a disciple himself 😭🤣

[stiltonbasket]

Calamitous beauty wwx always gets spoiled by the elderly auntie everywhere cause old people just love seeing beautiful youngsters. The youth falls in love with wwx while the aunties press baos in his hands and ask about his marriage prospects everytime he passes by the marketplace ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉ

Wei Wuxian, walking through the streets of Lufeng: *accumulates buns, pies, sweets, flowers*

Wei Wuxian, returning home: *distributes the treats among his baby shidimei*

[stiltonbasket]

Calamitous beauty wwx is helping a bao out? The kid fell down and got all scratchy up, wwx is taking them to the infirmary. Wwx with a bao in his arms, all cuddled up to him? Even more gorgeous.

Lan Wangji just got out of the infirmary and has to be put back in for entirely unrelated reasons.

[stiltonbasket]

when the cloud recesses find out that yi-bao is mobile under his own power, there's totally an influx of applications for extended trips outside of the cloud recesses? research trips, night-hunting trips, vacations - everyone wants to spend at least six months to 5 years away from this tiny chaos agent.

This reminded me of Jingyi's introduction in TMAAF:

Everything was peaceful and sedate and perfect, and then Lan Jingyi grew old enough to venture out of his parents’ quarters by himself. 

The Cloud Recesses never recovered.