#need someone to like. explain what happened behind the scenes bc this is crazy. 2 m3

[cathymee]

tumblr had to shut me up omg #censorship

[harknessxo]

HIIIII LIIIIIIZ!!! just popping in to send some love and hugs and a request (bc I watched Agatha series) Agatha x reader where Agatha is the most trusted person in reader’s life but -without Reader’s knowing- is also reader’s crazy stalker

I hope you’re doing well sweetie!!!!

Paring: Serial-killer!Stalker!Agatha Harkness x reader

Summary: Unbeknownst to you, you had the pleasure of being Agatha’s next victim but she takes a liking to you.

Warnings; bit of angst, death (not the reader), kidnapping, stalking.

Word Count: 3.3k

Part 2, Part 3

A/n: I know the request was for stalker!Agatha BUT it’s spooky season so I made her a serial killer too. Also, three key factors inspired this number one being the fanfic Way Down We Go by @p-taryn-dactyl , number two being the series Killing Eve, and lastly the song The Diner.

Agatha had been on a killing spree for the past three months. She would go after the women that looked like someone from her past that did her wrong. Why you may ask? Because she was still seething in her own self hatred for allowing herself to trust and needed someone, or someones, to take it out on. Of course the police had been trying to catch her but she never left enough clues or evidence behind for them to tie anything to.

All the crime scenes looked the same. The person was murder by a slit throat left with a purple Agatha Christie stuffed in their mouth and the scene was cleaned out, leaving no trace of any DNA. They called her the Angel of Death. All they knew was that all the victims seemed to have the same features and that Agatha would stalk them before she killed them.

Unbeknownst to you, you had the pleasure of being Agatha’s next victim. You fit the description of the person that did her wrong and like all her other ​​casualties, she started stalking you. Details from where you worked to what type of coffee you drank. She did all of this to find the perfect moment to strike but this time it was different. For some odd reason she felt drawn to you.

She had been watching you from afar for weeks now. She knew your work schedule, your favorite coffee shop, and even what type of movies you liked to watch. It was strange to her, she had never felt this way before about any of her other victims. She was drawn to you in a way that she couldn’t explain. She wanted to get closer to you, but she knew that she couldn’t. Not yet anyway.

It was recently that you started to feel watched, like there was always someone looming over you but when you turned around there was no one there. You thought you were just paranoid, that your anxiety was getting the best of you but things in your house started to disappear.

Agatha would sneak into your house at night, taking small things here and there. She wanted to learn more about you, but she didn’t want to risk being seen. She was being careful not to leave any trace of herself behind. She knew that the more she took, the more likely you would notice, but she couldn’t help herself. There was something about you that she just couldn’t resist.

You truly started to get scared when your underwear started going missing as well. You told your best friend Wanda about it and she comforted you. She told you to talk to the police and you did but they told you you didn’t have enough evidence and that maybe you had simply misplaced your things. You felt terrified and then came the day you actually met Agatha.

She applied for a job at the same place you worked, hoping to get closer to you. She said her name was Agnes to avoid raising any suspicion. She was excited to be working in the same place as you, but she had to keep her cool and act like she didn’t know anything about you. She kept her distance, wanting you to be the one who approached her and it finally happened when you accidentally bumped into her in the lounge room.

Agatha had been in the lounge, pretending to be on her phone purposely getting in your way so you bumped into her. She stumbled a bit, pretending to be surprised by the collision.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t see where I was going!” You started to apologize immediately.

“It’s alright, dear, no harm done.” She said, looking you up and down. You were even more interesting up close.

“I have never seen you before, are you new?” You asked curiously after taking a look at her. Agatha nodded, maintaining her friendly demeanor.

“I started a few days ago, yes.” She replied with a smile. “My name’s Agnes. What’s yours?”

“I’m Y/n.” You shook her hand. She smiled as you shook her hand, her grip a little tighter than necessary. She had finally gotten to meet you, and she was trying to hide her excitement.

“Y/n, what a lovely name,” she said, still holding your hand, “I have a feeling we’re going to be good friends.”

“I- thank you,” you blushed at the compliment, “well I have to get back to work, I’ll see you around!” She nodded, watching you walk away. She knew she had to be careful not to let her true intentions show, but it was getting harder and harder to resist, she knew you were meant to be.

“See you around.” She said quietly. She couldn’t help but watch you walk away, admiring your figure. She wanted to reach out and grab you, to pull you back and keep you close to her. But she knew she had to be patient. She had a plan, and she was determined to see it through. She made a mental note to keep a closer eye on you, and to continue her little “games” with your belongings.

Over the passing weeks Agatha’s obsession over you only grew. She stalked you almost constantly and when she wasn’t doing that, she was out killing. As Agatha began getting closer to you, gaining your trust, there was someone getting in her way, Wanda.

Agatha had been so focused on you that she hadn’t noticed Wanda’s presence. Wanda had been watching Agatha from afar, sensing something was off about her. She knew that Agatha was up to something, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Wanda had tried to approach you, to warn you about her, but Agatha had always managed to intercept her.

You didn’t understand why Wanda was so against Agnes. Agnes was always sweet to you and helped you out with everything. At some point you started telling her everything about the things that had been happening to you, that of course being her. She would listen intently as you told her about the things that had been happening to you. She would nod and act sympathetic, even though she was the one behind it all. She would offer advice and try to comfort you, all while secretly enjoying your trust in her.

She was a master manipulator. She knew exactly what to say and do to keep you under her spell. She would listen to your worries and fears, offering you comfort and support. She would pretend to be concerned about the things that were happening to you, all the while secretly relishing in your fear and vulnerability. She knew that she had you wrapped around her finger, and she was loving every minute of it.

“That’s really strange. I really hope it’s not a stalker or anything.” She said with fake sympathy.

“I’m starting to get scared, Agnes. What if I’m being stalked by that serial killer that’s been all over the news?” Agatha tried to suppress a smirk, but she couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride at the fact that you were scared of her.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing. You’re perfectly safe.” She said, placing a hand over yours in a comforting gesture.

“I hope you’re right. I was actually thinking of staying with Wanda for the weekend. She’s been worried about me.” Agatha’s eyes narrowed slightly at the mention of Wanda’s name. She didn’t like the idea of you staying with her. She wanted you to rely on her, not Wanda. She forced a smile onto her face, trying to hide her jealousy.

“Wanda, huh? You sure that’s a good idea? You don’t want to be a burden to her.”

“Oh no she wouldn’t mind. I’ve stayed with her countless times plus it was her idea.” Her grip on your hand tightened even more. She was getting annoyed now. She didn’t like the idea of you staying with someone else, especially Wanda. She forced herself to relax, not wanting to raise any suspicion.

“Just for the weekend?”

“Yeah, I just need a quick break from all this craziness.” Agatha nodded, her expression unreadable. She didn’t want to push the issue any further, but she couldn’t help but feel anger and frustration. She didn’t like the idea of you being away from her, even if it was just for a night.

“Are you alright, Agnes?” You asked, sensing the sudden change in mood. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at you with a forced smile.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.” She said, trying to sound casual. She let go of your hand and straightened up, “I must get back to work. I’ll see you Monday?”

“Of course. See you Monday!”

She gave you one last look before walking away. She couldn’t believe you were going to stay with Wanda. She clenched her fists in anger, trying to control her emotions. She knew she had to find a way to keep you close to her, and she would do whatever it takes even if it meant hurting you slightly.

After much thinking, a plan was made in her mind. She was going to follow you to Wanda’s house so she would know where she lived and after that all she had to do was wait for you to leave the next day so she could kill Wanda.

She waited until you left work before following you to Wanda’s house. She made sure to keep a safe distance, not wanting to be seen. She watched as you entered the house, making a mental note of the address before driving back to her house to get her things ready. She made sure to pick the freshest purple Agatha Christie from her garden.

You hung out with Wanda the whole day the next day. Watching movies or just simply talking. You dreaded having to go back home. It was around 11:24 when you finished the last movie of the night. You and Wanda talked for a little longer before you started to gather your things and bid her goodbye.

Agatha watched from a distance as you said goodbye to Wanda. She was growing impatient, waiting for you to leave. She was tempted to just barge in and take you away, but she knew she had to wait. She watched as you left the house, making sure you were out of sight before making her move. She sneaked inside Wanda’s house through the front door that was dumbly left unlocked. She stepped inside slowly but the door creaked as she was closing it.

“Y/n? Is that you?” Wanda called out from her couch. Agatha froze at the sound of Wanda’s voice. She had hoped that she would be able to sneak in without being noticed but it was just a little bump in the road. She decided to simply walk into view.

“No, it’s not Y/n…” Wanda quickly jumped off of the couch as soon as she saw it wasn’t you.

“Agnes? What the hell are you doing here!?” Agatha smirked as she saw the look of fear on Wanda’s face. She stepped further into the room, her eyes fixed on the redhead.

“Oh, you know, just paying a little visit,” Agatha said casually while playing with the knife in her hands.

“Get out of my house you psycho!” Wanda shouted, backing away slowly. Agatha chuckled, taking a step closer to her.

“Now now, no need to be rude. I just want to have a little chat with you. You see, I have a little score to settle,” she said, her voice dripping with malice.

“Score? What the hell are you talking about?” Agatha took another step closer, her eyes glinting with madness.

“You’ve been getting in my way, Wanda. You’ve been trying to keep Y/n away from me. I can’t have that, you see. I need her, I know we are meant to be and I won’t let anyone stand in my way.”

“You…you’re her stalker aren’t you?” Wanda’s voice trembled. The brunette smirked, her grip on the knife tightening.

“Guilty as charged…well not really,” she said with a twisted smile. “And I’m here to make sure you don’t get in my way anymore.”

Wanda tried to make a run for her back door but Agatha caught up to her, yanking Wanda back by her hair making her yelp in pain. Agatha pinned her body against her own, the knife pressed against Wanda’s throat.

“Naughty girl. Trying to run away from me,” Agatha hissed, “Any last words?” Agatha whispered into her ear tauntingly but before she could actually say anything she slit her throat. Wanda’s body dropped on the floor with a thud. Agatha stood over her, watching as she choked on her own blood when suddenly she heard the front door open.

“Wanda? I accidentally forgot my phone on the coffee table-” You froze in your tracks at the sight before you, Wanda’s agonizing body on the floor with a purple Agatha Christie in her mouth. You ran to her body, laying her head in your lap.

“Wanda! Wanda, stay with me! Please!” You sobbed holding her now cold body closer. Eventually you got a hold of your phone and with your bloody hands dilated 911. They arrived at the scene quite fast and it was determined that this was yet another killing from the Angel of Death. They took you into questioning and you told them what had happened.

You told them you had stayed with Wanda and left at around 11:43. Half way through the way home you realized you had left your phone at her house. You just let yourself in knowing Wanda wouldn’t have minded and that’s when you found her dead body. By the looks of your interrogation and the way the crime scene was left a mess they came to the conclusion that you had interrupted the killer's kill.

They send you back home after giving you a change of clothes. A police officer escorted you home and made sure no one was inside before leaving. You made sure all your doors and windows were locked before you decided to take a shower. It was hard for you to fall asleep after what you had witnessed. It wasn't until about 3 am that you finally fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up feeling very groggy. You went into your kitchen to make coffee and that's when your phone started ringing. You were quick to answer it when you saw it was your coworker Monica.

“Hello?”

“Y/n, are you home?”

“Yes I am, why?”

“I need you to turn on your tv like right now.”

“Um okay,” you speed walked to your living room and turned your tv on to the news channel.

“What did you want me to-” you paused when you saw it. It was a picture of Agnes on your screen with the headline being ‘The serial killer known as The Angel of Death has been identified as Agatha Harkness’.

“Y/n? Are you still there?”

“…she was right there…the whole time- she lied about her name- she fucking killed Wanda!”

“I know. I’m so sorry Y/n. Do you have some family you can stay with? I think it might be best if you called the police.”

“I…I don’t have anyone else. Wanda was all I had.”

“I’m truly sorry for your loss. Why don’t you stay with me? Just until they catch that psycho.”

“I think that’s a good idea. Can you pick me up in an hour? I’m gonna call the police and pack a few things.”

“Yeah that’s fine, just send me your address. I’ll see you then.”

“See you.” you hung up finally let your tears fall. You hid your face in your hands when you heard your doorbell ring. You quickly wiped your tears and walked towards the door. You checked the peephole and saw nothing. You were about to walk back to the kitchen but curiosity got the best of you and you decided to open it. At first you saw nothing until you looked down. A purple Agatha Christie with a tag attached to it. You shakily picked it up and read it. ‘Sorry, baby.’ It read. You immediately closed the door and locked it. You walked back to the living room where you had left your phone to call the police but froze when you saw someone sitting on your couch.

“Ag- Agnes-”

“Now you know that’s not my actual name,” she turned to look at you.

“Agatha…”

“Good Girl, Now I need you to behave and not run.” Of course you didn’t listen and made a run for the door but Agatha tackled you to the floor. You started to scream for help, trying to get away from her hold but she covered your mouth.

“Shh, sweet girl, I can’t have you getting me in trouble. I did this for us, okay?” She said, her voice soft but deadly. You only looked at her with absolute fear in your eyes, realizing who this woman was. She held you down, her grip tight on your body. She looked down at you with a mix of possessiveness and obsession. She knew that you were terrified of her, but she didn’t care. In fact, she found it endearing.

“Don’t be afraid of me, sweetheart. I couldn’t have you spending time with that…Wanda, when you belong to me,” she said, spitting out Wanda’s name with disgust, “Now I am going to move my hand and you’re going to stay as quiet as a mouse, understood?”

You hesitantly nodded your head in response. The second she moved her hand away you started to scream at the top of your lungs. Her expression turned cold as you started to scream. She quickly covered your mouth again, her eyes flashing with anger.

“I told you to be quiet,” she hissed, “I don’t want anyone else to hear you. You’re mine, and I’m not going to let anyone take you away from me. Don’t make me hurt you.” She pulled you closer to her, her body pressing against yours as she held you in a vice-like grip. You didn’t listen and kept squirming against her, your screams muffled by her hand. She sighed defeated before taking a syringe out of her pocket and injecting it into your neck.

The effects of the syringe were quick. Within seconds, you felt your body growing heavy and your mind becoming fuzzy. You tried to fight it, but it was no use. Your screams slowly faded away as your body went limp in her arms.

“If only you would have listened.” She gently picked you up and carried you over to the couch, laying you down on it, “You’re so much more beautiful when you’re quiet,” she whispered, her voice filled with a mixture of possessiveness and adoration before she went to pack a couple of your things.

After she was done, she picked up again and took you to her car, placing you down on the passenger seat. She got into the driver’s seat and started the car, driving off. She glanced over at you, her eyes filled with a mixture of possessiveness and affection. She reached over and brushed a strand of hair out of your face, her touch surprisingly gentle.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re safe now. You’re with me.”

Taglist; @polaris-likethestar @wandasreallover @oh-no-bummer @phixiesworld @eliscannotdance @venomhimbo @aka-patsy @Melonlord14 @scoliobean

[heartsgettingwiser62]

Ok so I think I may be losing my mind over some plastic wrap lmao

But PLEASE look at this and tell me I'm not crazy and this is actually weird:

Karen I'm begging you to explain to me why the fuck do you have 2 plastic wrap packages from different brands UPSIDE DOWN in your kitchen cabinet. PLS.

Is it just me?? Is this completely normal and I'm losing my mind over nothing??? I mean probably but WHY ARE THEY THE ONLY THING THAT'S UPSIDE DOWN AND PLUS THEY'RE COMPLETELY LEGIBLE

So since I've spent the last 3 hours looking at fucking plastic wrap let me share some thoughts:

First of all, to structure this mess in some way, let's look at the dates. First, at the Reynolds Wrap invention date. Bc PLS LOOK AT THIS

Oh. Looks like it was created in 1947. Do you guys wanna know who was also born in 1947??

I. Uh. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK.

"It could be a coincidence" Dude I KNOW I'm just doing this bc I've spent hours researching about plastic wrap and I NEED to tell someone ok y'all are my therapists ksjdalkj

Now the Glad Wrap was founded in 1963, and some pages say that Kali was born in 1963, others in 1964, and others that in s2 she's 16/17 so there's no way she was born back then; so idk about this date.

Now let's go with the ads, starting with Glad Wrap bc it's by far the most interesting one.

I've seen multiple commercials but none of them seemed to have anything meaningful EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE WHICH IS MAKING ME ABSOLUTELY LOSE MY MIND:

Am I crazy. Do I seriously need to sleep. Or does that look an awful lot like Karen Wheeler??? Especially here in s4????

I mean, the hairstyle and the blond hair, but much more importantly, the outfit.

Like?????? I mean I get that it's 80's white wealthy woman fashion, fine, but that's a whole load of coincidences???

Now for the rest of the ad, the plastic wrap thingy that attacks the woman is pretty interesting, as well as the clock in the background for Vecna reasons. Regarding similarities with the Wheeler's kitchen, I could only catch due to the low quality the bowl with apples and the phone on the wall (you can't see it on the screenshot but there's a phone behind Mike). I couldn't really find anything about the strawberries, but if y'all know something pls tell me

As a bonus, the ad is from 1987, which as far as I know is when everyone guesses s5 is gonna take place in

Now there's no much to see in the Reynolds Wrap ads, except maybe this one:

(Ignore the yt bar lmao) Although not as much as the previous one, the woman's outfit in that frame does remind me of this Karen s4 look, the same look she has on that scene the damn plastic wrap came from.

Ik this is all probably meaningless, buuuut do you guys want more meaningless shit??

Let's go back to the Glad Wrap ad. The slogan for that specific ad is "Don't get mad. Get glad." Welp, Vecna's a fan of this last word bc out of 9 times it's said in s5, 4 are said by him.

Let's take a quick look at the most interesting time he says that word. We're in Vecna's monologue in chp 7, and in the same scene just some minutes before, he says this:

"I could not do that. I could not close off my mind and join in the madness. I could not pretend. And I realized, I didn't have to."

Let's remember the slogan: "Don't get mad. Get glad."

Then, a couple minutes later, in the same scene:

"And soon, others were born. You were born. And I am so glad you were, Eleven. So very glad."

Now literally two seconds before this last line, this shot was happening:

And. Um. Do you. Do you guys know what's used for tattoos. Um.

Plastic wrap???

Do y'all get why I said I've a hundred percent lost my mind sjdfisdjfil

Ok so. That was it. Anyways I couldn't find anything else important about the rest of items in the kitchen shelve. If y'all have a better explanation as to WHY TF are those plastic wrap packages upside down and perfectly legible, PLS TELL ME. This said, goodbye

[julietasgf]

first of all I love long answers, so no apologies in fact I'll apologize because I plan to ramble on.

I also love the movie but I have so many problems with how little we were given of the Plinth family, that they didn't fully exploit Marcus and Sejanus relationship and the sandwich scene (no ironically I have so much to say about that I may do another post explaining in depth why I hate how they executed that scene) so I feel you buddy

Yes I also think it was a bit of an unnecessary change in that regard, I'm not complaining at all about a scene of Coriolanus crying while looking at a picture of him and Sejanus together, it's cute to see him that pathetic crying and my heart was broken bc we could see again that Coriolanus means the world to Sejanus and yet that happen, but still I think it's more interesting, dramatic and hilarious to witness Coriolanus frustration at seeing that there's a picture of Marcus, of all the people.

Is someone else and NOT HIM, THE ONE THAT INSPIRE SEJANUS. Like as a snowjanus fan Im more into that shit of Coryo in denial screaming and thwroing bc ITS NOT HIM. But thats probably only me /j

You summarized very well many of the aspects in Marcus and Sejanus relationship that drive me crazy. I also belive they had such an unique relationship in the saga, Im so angry bc the movie dont fucking explore them in depth.

AND I AGREED WITH EVERY WORD YOU SAID ABOUT SEJANUS, THAT MOMENT OF KIDNESS IN THE END IT DEFINED HIS CORE, YEARS LATER HE MADE THE CONSCIOUS DECISION TO BE GUIDED BY THE ONE MOMENT WHEN A STRANGER OFFERED HIM HELP AND COMFORT OUT OF COMMUNITY AND EMPATHY.

Yeah it's obvious that much of his character is ultimately shaped by his mother, but he makes a very conscious decision to live by that interaction, to decide that if no one else is willing to make that selfless gesture, he'll be the one to take care of it. Even if the world tells him he's crazy and wrong for going in that direction.

About Marcus I agree that he probably thought that and it makes me so sad because I can't help but wonder what it was like for him, again I know in the book they mention they were more classmates than friends but I don't know, childhood in itself seems to me a stage where you tend to connect deeply with others as you are not yet fully aware of the barriers, and while I can see some classmates already having reservations towards Sejanus because of what Strabo had done and what their parents told lf Plinth family, it seems to me it shows that Marcus was not one of those kids.

So I like to think he thought in his own way about Sejanus. About how nice he was despite the nasty reputation that was forming of his family until finally Sejanus moves in and people tell Marcus that the Plinth's are traitors and other terrible things.

How to reconcile that image with that of the scared little boy he helped and thanked him deeply for it? I think it takes years (and the games ultimately help deepen the rift because Sejanus is safe and they in the district aren't) for him to come to that conclusion.

Then Marcus is reaping and it must have been painful and horrible to see Sejanus standing behind a fence, in an expensive and extravagant uniform, trying to offer him a very hearty sandwich. We know it is a gesture of help and comes from a place of compassion but god I can also see how it is at the same time a kind of cruel mockery.

Because Marcus is going to die and he doesn't need a sandwich, or an apology, he needs to be taken out of there, he needs to do not be killed and forced to kill others. So it makes sense his resentfulness will grow, also the image of Sejanus in his memory as his classmate who did wear a nice suit more expensive than others yes but still was from district 2, still live and suffer the war with them, was destroyed, now he can only think of this Sejanus totally capitol from his eyes, a fucking traitor in a red like blood uniform.

Marcus must have been totally hopeless... We know the people in the capitol saw him as a possible winner but I don't think this was his vision. Like the rest he was a scared kid, probably resigned to his death.

He could not give in to ask for Sejanus' help, to take his hand because what would that mean? That he too would become a traitor, that he was not loyal enough to his family and community? He did not want to die with that weight on his conscience and also facing Sejanus sounds anything but helpful.

He doesn't even know from the sandwich act if Sejanus is the same. He already looks different. What if he turned into one of those whimsical, conceited children? Will he be able to stand talking to him? And what could Plinth do for him? Give him a better weapon? Give him a fucking cake?

There was no point in saying anything. Nor to do it.

I believe the bombing and when he sees a way out is the only time Marcus regains hope and we know what happens to him because of that...

I love recommending caifanes songs that reminds me of Sejanus too much what can I say... And I love even more that you listen to them and see the vision. Im out of caifanes songs for now but if you can handle the trigger warning of spain spanish I can give you:

From the treasure planet the spanish dubb version of Im still here / Estoy aquí by Alex ubago. Its so Sejanus CODED. I choose the spanish version bc its a more youthful voice than the original.

I always apologize for answering too long answers, I genuinely fear being annoying for it 😭

yessss!!! in the movie, I have the feeling that excluding so much of the plinths didn't really show the impact of how fucked up it was what coriolanus did by the end. he stole a boy's whole life. he knew his parents, he knew his mother, and still, he got him killed and stole his life anyway. it's so disturbing when you stop to think about it, but since we don't really see much from the plinths in the movie, I feel like it weights much less than it should (ALSO, YES, THE SANDWICH SCENE WAS A CRIME, it was really poorly executed and another point where it seems to make coryo better imo)

it's so funny to me that scene in the book bc coriolanus says with all his chest that it shows "where sejanus' loyalty laid with". bro really came to the conclusion JUST NOW that maybe, and just maybe, he isn't the center of the world and neither is the capitol 😭 while reading I though of him turning to the camera like a the office episode plssssss (and I absolutely AGREE HELPP, coriolanus screaming crying throwing up because sejanus has a pic of MARCUS, of ALL PEOPLE)

the movie had so much potential to explore their relationship in a more visual way. I absolutely understand why storytelling-wise they would rather to explore of sejanus and coriolanus' relationship.... but marcus and sejanus are so important and interesting and UGHHHHH (and plus, they remind me so much of katniss and peeta, I've seen some parallels that DRIVE ME INSANE and I would actually kill for a 4 hour cut with scenes of them together)

AND YESSSS!!! everything regarding the districts in tbosas, everytime we see something about their lifestyle, is about community. marcus and sejanus were not even friends in his words, they were classmates, and marcus went and helped a child that was probably left out and despised by most of his classmates, and he didn't want anything in return (another thing that drives me insane is how coriolanus is quite the reverse of this; he helped sejanus out of interest, pure interest, and how this is pure capitol, while marcus is pure district).

at that point of the rebellion, the plinths were probably so despised at D2, because the way sejanus cherishes that memory is just so important to me. it's the kind of thing you'd probably forget, but he remembered marcus' name, he kept his pic and everything, and he probably talked about it at home enough for his father to know about marcus and. yk. do what he did at the games to "teach sejanus a lesson". marcus' kindness was THAT remarkable. another thing that I think abt 24/7: what was marcus thinking all this time? we never even see him talking. what were his thoughts? I would actually pay suzanne collins just to KNOW.

during the zoo scene, I felt physical pain because I could only think about how OFFENDED marcus probably felt. because, in his place, I at least would feel extremely offended. because let me get this straight: after your father betrays our district, you leave for this fancy town, with fancy clothing, and now I'm about to die, and then you come here offering me a sandwich? (also, this sets another interesting thing about marcus, he's so proud, and I'm just mentioning it bc it seems like a common trait between people from D2 in the future) and plus, he probably saw coriolanus going to talk to lucy gray for the first time at the train. okay that coriolanus' intentions weren't pure, but how marcus felt that sejanus actually KNEW HIM and didn't go to see him, but this boy who never met this girl actually went to the train station? and then his first interaction with sejanus is him offering him food as if he's an animal?

one thing I read once, and I really can't recall from where, was an interpretation that marcus never even spoke to sejanus (not even to curse him or tell him to fuck off) because it was much better to die with the little boy he knew still on his mind, kind and gentle, than to talk to the boy he doesn't know and discover how he actually changed into something marcus despised.

I also do think marcus was resigned to his death. the way he doesn't even try says a lot, even though everyone agreed that he was the tribute with the most chances. D2 is big, it's not like D12, which is smaller. what would it mean for marcus to return after accepting help from a plinth? what would it mean for him to return after 23 another children getting killed just so he could get out alive?

also, in some form, I think marcus and sejanus' dynamic as tribute and mentor as some sort of anti-lucy gray and coriolanus. they're the reverse of each other.

it's so tragic, really, that he had hope for the first time just to end tragically like that. now, I'm going to punch a wall and cry for at least two days in a corner, because marcus is genuinely one of the most interesting tributes and he didn't even got to fight in the games to be this interesting.

(suzanne collins really went HARD on creating characters this time, not that in thg she didn't, but how is almost every character in tbosas is special and iconic to me?)

and I love getting recommended songs!!! ☝️ NOT THE SPAIN SPANISH TRIGGER WARNING (spain spanish and portugal portuguese are really cousins, it seems) ☠️ first, omg, I was just today thinking abt the characters as disney songs, I'm kinda screaming that you sent me this!!! specially bc as a kid my hobby was listening to different versions of the same disney song, and I RECOGNIZED IT, but I never actually stopped to pay attention to the lyrics and YOU'RE SO RIGHT, I get amazed bc every single song you recommend I stop and stare at the wall thinking of how, actually, it makes total sense 😭

[cirphu]

Ramblings on Only Friends Ep. 2

Part 1/4

Again, public declarations/proposals my be-loathed

Cheum is really just here for the vibes and her friends' happiness and I love her for that

JENNY!! I mean P'YO!!! AND HER MAN!!!

This confessional is giving Reality TV vibes and I'm here for it. Although the series is fiction, it is depicting the very real lifestyles of many people in the world and it's honestly so refreshing

See? Sand gets it ... so lame

Aww, Ray ... sweetie

I'm just properly looking at the intro and god everyone looks so hot

You are so right Cheum — there is nothing hotter than someone doing or talking about something within their area of expertise

Not Mew and Top being different sides of the same coin — they both like the challenge; let's see who gives in first

Seriously, can we get Ray some help :(

Mew putting that emphasis on "my friend" oof

Ah, so Top definitely knows that Ray likes Mew

The start of Sand and Nick's bestie era; we love to see it

Mew, you're really after my heart — to tell the guy who's everyone's type that he's not YOUR type *chef's kiss*

Yes, getting Mew is about the chase and conquest BUT Top is a little out of his element bc Mew stimulates his mind AND his lions; he really ain't gonna know what hit him lol

Ray, sweetie ... why are you following this man? At this rate, you're never gonna beat the stray cat allegations

Yo 10,000 Baht is 281.21 USD???! — I would do it too for a check lol

Part 2/4

Can't even focus on the heated make out etc. bc those horns/antlers behind Nick's head were a terrible accident waiting to happen *shudders*

Nick is already so gooooone I just-

With the level of game Boston is spitting, Nick really didn't stand a chance

I want Sand's messenger bag; wonder if it'll be merch

Oooo I love the way they filmed Sand walking into Ray's sitting room; nothing like a good one-take scene

Ray's mom ... that explains so much :(

I guess this wakeboarding park is the new BL spot; first Wedding Plan and now OF lol

GO APRIL!!

Oh no Cheum :(

I'm sorry but Top diving into the water was ... LMAOOO

Gdi Boston! STAND TF UP!!! Top's not gonna pick you and no dick is worth losing a friendship over

Part 3/4

Did Boston climb the shower wall bc how the hell???

Gotta find that post that talks about red (stop), yellow (slow), and green/blue (go) being prominent colors in Mew and Top's relationship because it's really evident in this episode, ESPECIALLY in this cookie scene

Look at my boi Mew setting those boundaries iktr

Mutual mast rep? We love to see it!

But seriously Nick, I'm gonna need you to run baby

Yooo Neo's body is insane; I'm looking respectfully

Can WE see the monstera? We love a good plant tour on this side of the internet

Leaving a hot girl to go home with a hot guy; Sand is winning either way esp considering this super playful vibe Ray is putting on

Part 4/4

Sleeping pills? AND a tragic backstory?

Ngl I thought he was lying too lol ... still kinda think he's lying, but I'll let it go for now

Okay maybe he isn't lying; look at the way he's holding Mew :'(

Is that Ray and Mew in the picture? And what's with the tense, sinister bg music? Whatchu plottin' Boston?

Pansexual rep? We love to see it!

As I said last week, lighting cigarettes as a form of foreplay

Who knew a cigarette smoke kiss could be so life-changing; I am a new person

That little voice in First's head must've been going crazy during this scene lol

AND YOU'RE GONNA KEEP WANTING ME??? IKTR

At this rate, Khaotung's tattoo needs to get a separate check for it's role in this series

Oh Sand, sweetie ... the fire started when you lit that cigarette and you started playing with it the moment you accepted that smoke-filled kiss *deep sigh* you're in too deep now baby (both literally AND figuratively)

Next week is gonna be insane; see you then :)

[httyd-grimmelsgirl]

I Both Love and Hate The Hidden World

I've discussed how the reasoning behind sending the dragons away makes sense to me, and how Grimmel is a great but underdeveloped villain (at me). Here I am finally going to get angry with The Hidden World's writing.😊 For starters, I think fans have difficulty separating objective quality from personal enjoyment, and that's why this movie only works for so many people. That said, I will try to put my feelings aside. And I'll try to be brief.

Part 1: Third Date

I’m not gonna lie, this scene was very precious, but it lost its charm after the third watch just bc it's too long. I think they could’ve cut it a bit shorter so we could watch other important stuff, like actually developing Grimmel and fixing this messy plot.

Part 2: Armada Battle

Even when trying to enjoy this fight, it felt unfocused. I think they were trying to replicate Avatar: the Last Airbender here by having the main hero fight the main villain alone while everyone else fights a fleet (well now that I say that… nvm).

Someone points out that the fleet gets to Berk too fast, to which I agree, but what's even more amazing is the size. Look at the frame that it cuts to right after they cage the dragons. It's huge!! And crashing 3 was enough to be like "Oh, they ran off. Happily ever after." Should the Armada be there at all?😐 There are only aspects I can say are cool.

Too, the fact that Grimmel just runs off mid fight. I know he was trying to get Hiccup alone and defeat him, but why is he doing this on the other side of Berk?

Someone on Instagram said that the Berkians should have fought without their dragons, since we don’t get to see how they hold up on their own. And, in my humble opinion, they need to rewrite the entire hidden world so Hiccup and Grimmel can duel on a ship as a storm blows in. Wind blowing. Waves crashing. Dramatic score. Tell me that wouldn’t have been epic! (I know, Revenge of the Sith vibes, but still).

Part 3: Toothless' UNnnLlimmITTed pOWerrRRr

Now, I don't have to explain much. It's OP, and why does this catch Grimmel off guard? My theory is they are still evolving out of having the cloaking power, and that is why Grimmel hasn't seen it. They don't use it. And it was pulled from the writers' butts.

Too, I hate that there is a storm conveniently there to produce lightning, then it disappears.

Part 4: Things I Don’t Get About Grimmel

I've defended Grimmel like crazy on this blog, and you have all read the debates, so I'll give a rundown of the things I agree with and the things I disagree with. I agree that

Deathgripper venom serves the needs of the moment (he is never seen altering it with chemistry).

His plan is never really clear (although I first interpreted this as Grim and Hicc turning the tables on each other, things just kinda fall into place at random).

And a few others I'm forgetting at the moment.

But I disagree that he is actually stupid. Bc even if he wasn't developed well, he is still smart in many ways.

Using Deathgrippers is too convenient: yes, but they compensate for his physical limits as an older man (which is something he could plan for). I imagine he's still strong and spry, the Deathgrippers just make his job easier.

Being able to sneak into Berk wasn't too much of a stretch for me bc he is a hunter, meaning he already knows how to by pass dragons.

Meeting Stoick: I HATE this one bc it never happened. He says "your father knew OF me" not "KNEW me", meaning Stoick probably heard stories and didn't tell anyone bc killing all the Night Furies sounds less believable than I'll help you if you bow down to me.

He's stupid: No. There is plot shield moments, but that shouldn't undermine the other stuff that shows how smart he is, like how he placed the trap for Toothless (dodged with stupid luck) or teaching the warlords how to read a map.

Part 5: As Long As He’s Safe

You've heard the arguments, and made some yourselves. I think the main issue isn't that the end doesn't make sense, it's how it's executed. I could argue why dragons should've left, but that doesn't change that the writers should've made the exploration on the nose. Yes I said it, I think fans would've accepted it better if it was spelled out to them, and maybe made some mor reasons for it, bc the fan base is mostly kids/ teens, so they can't just see the hints, it has to be more than a hint. Not to insult anyone, but it has to be Zack Snyder 'Superman is Jesus' in your face for kids/teens to get it. Bc (I'm not trying to be mean) they aren't used to picking up the pieces and putting them together themselves. So in short, it's execution, not logic that makes this bad.

That's all I got.

[dc41896]

Penny for Your Thoughts (2)

Pairing: QB!Chris EvansxBlack Reader

Summary🪄: You definitely didn’t expect your first date to be so hectic, yet so perfect

⚠️: None just fluff💕

The weekend of a home game always seemed to have the city in more of a buzz than normal. Everyone rushing from store to store trying to get everything they’d need for watch parties and tailgating. Streets holding more cars from those who followed the visiting team to physically show their support.

And if said game resulted in a win, the energy only intensified as those invested seemed to sport brighter smiles. It even made complete strangers high-five after raving how no team could do it better. That was the current state surrounding you now after Boston College’s 24-12 comeback victory.

Since entering the dimly lit restaurant, all eyes were stuck to the two of you. Well mostly Chris, but you also received glances from those nosy enough to wonder who you were to him, and the occasional eye roll from the girls wishing they were the ones being led by his large hand to the table. He warned you ahead of time that this would probably happen and apologized in advance, but you understood it just came with the territory.

His eyes lift from scanning his menu to watch you studying yours as you toyed with the gold banded ring on your index finger. You already made his chest warm just from the slightest glimpse of you, but your face illuminated by the small lamp on the table had a soft smile spreading across his lips feeling as if you were the only two in the room.

“See anything you like?,” he asked, solid body leaning forward as his hands nervously rubbed together under the table and it’s pristine, white table cloth.

“Everything sounds so good, but I think I’ll just stick with a salad or something.”

“You sure? Get anything you want, it’s my treat. Plus I still owe you a celebration for acing your exam.”

Your face brightens at the reference to the conversation you had last month. That’s when your date was supposed to happen originally, but with you being so stressed about passing, you both agreed that it’d probably be best to try again later.

“We’ll go the next time we’re both free. That way we can celebrate.”

“Celebrate what exactly?,” you giggled, phone pressed against your ear as you scribbled more notes at your desk.

“You passing, duh.”

“Thanks for the confidence, but let’s not call it so early.”

Sure enough, he predicted right.

“You remembered,” you smiled.

“Of course I did, why would I forget?,” he asks. Fingertips finding your knee to graze against your soft skin making your cheeks warm.

“Well in that case, I’ll have the lobster, steak, and I’ll go ahead and put in my dessert order,” you joke flashing your most innocent smile.

“It’s up to you cutie.” You both laugh, but yours is a bit shorter lived at the reveal of his apparent nickname for you. From the way he carried on as if nothing happened, briefly checking his vibrating phone, you didn’t know if it was an accidental slip of the tongue or him being comfortable enough to say it in front of you.

Either way, your heart fluttered at the sentiment and how it sounded off his tongue.

“Excuse me,” a thick, Boston accent interrupts slightly startling both of you. “I hate to cut in, but I just wanted to say that game was incredible!”

“Oh um thanks man,” he politely smiles.

“I’ve been watching since I was a boy, and I can truly say you got something special kid. Like with that trick play to put us in the lead?! Phenomenal! No way you’re not going in the first round. Speaking of, you got any teams in mind? I know you gotta be eyeing the Pats!”

“I uh really appreciate the kind words, but I’m kinda in the middle of something,” Chris replies motioning between the both of you with his finger. From the look in his eyes, hoping that the middle aged man would get the hint.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” he replies holding up his hands as he takes a step back. “You kids have a good time, and you keep throwing those touchdowns.” With a final wave and pat of his shoulder, Chris waits until the fan is definitely gone before apologizing to you with sympathetic eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize, it’s okay. They’re excited to see you.”

“This is our time though, and I want all my focus going to you.”

“Aww, that’s very-,”

“Hi! Sorry, but you’re the quarterback for BC right?!,” the excited lady asks holding the hand of her small son probably around eight or nine. Before answering, he looks to you seemingly asking you for permission, and although you knew he’d respectfully turn them away explaining how he’d be sure to find them later if you gave the right signal, you didn’t want to be the one getting in the way of him and his fans. Especially when they were little kids.

Gently nodding your head with a small smile, he quickly mouths “sorry” before turning his attention back to the mom and son, giving the awestruck boy a high five at his mentioning of how he has Chris’ jersey at home. At the mother’s asking, you took pictures of the three of them before she was heading back to the table with the little boy still smiling like the Cheshire Cat looking down at his favorite college quarterback’s autograph and small personalized message on the napkin in his hands.

“Now, where were we?,” he asks settling back in his seat, taking a drink from his glass of water. You don’t get the chance to answer, hearing a pair of heels clacking against the tile floor coming closer to your table. The head of red hair with perfect beach waves cascading down to her shoulders has a satisfied smirk on her pink, glossed lips as she finally reaches the two of you, more so focused on Chris.

“Well isn’t this a sight for sore eyes. Then again I probably shouldn’t be surprised seeing you here at our place.”

Actually, it wasn’t. They only came there once and she was solely preoccupied with making sure all her followers knew she was being spoiled at a fancy restaurant while they weren’t. Chris didn’t even remember getting a word in that night, having to listen to her boast about all the people who would be jealous of her if they already weren’t.

Finally setting her crystalline, blue eyes on you, you see right through the sweet facade as she sticks out her hand. Almond shaped nails freshly manicured a sparkly light blue color. “Where are my manners, I’m Kelly. I’m sure you’ve heard about me before.”

“Not really, no,” you answer shaking her hand and making her smirk falter. “That’s a pretty dress though.”

“Thanks,” she dryly replies pulling her hand back to her side.

“Babe, our table’s ready.”

A man built similar to Chris and around your age with black hair and hazel eyes lightly grazes her arm to get her attention, clearly not wanting to completely be shown to the table as he stayed behind her. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure out he was the guy she cheated with and was too guilty to face his teammate.

Well, soon to be former from the rumblings at the game of those who were in the know with the dealings of the players.

“You two enjoy your dinner,” Chris speaks finding your hand across the table and enclosing it with his warm one. This simple movement nearly had Kelly combust seeing him moved on with someone else, while you began to wonder even more about his true intentions.

“Yea, y-you too,” the unnamed man quickly replies pulling his speechless date with him, who had yet to look away from you until he physically turned her around.

“Hey why don’t we get out of here? It’s hard to have you to myself with everyone interrupting,” Chris suggests with a gentle smile.

“Um yea, sure. Lead the way.”

———

15 or 20 minutes of driving around the city, and you ended up on campus in the more secluded part of the grounds. Then again, with it being Saturday night every part was pretty much secluded now.

The gazebo brightly adorned with bulb fairy lights hanging from the ceiling and around the pillars was a popular spot for graduation and wedding photos, as well as other couples looking for a calmer space without having to go too far. And although a beautiful and romantic scene, Chris desperately wished he could’ve found someplace better to take you.

“You okay?,” he nervously asks settling on the blanket he placed on the wooden floorboards so your clothes wouldn’t pick up any dirt or dust. “If you want to go somewhere else, I can-,”

“No no, this is perfect,” you smile, but not fully convincing Chris from how minimal you talked on the ride over.

“You’re not just sparing my feelings are you?” His suspicious expression and tilted head has you giggling as you take a sip of your water, feeling a bit more relaxed.

“No I just…after seeing your ex I guess I started wondering….”

“About what?”

“…your intentions,” you reveal, more focused on bending your straw back and forth rather than meeting his eyes that were probably peering at you like you were crazy bringing up the ‘what are we?’ conversation so early. “And where you wanted this to go?”

“Well this definitely isn’t a rebound if that’s what you’re thinking,” he answers sipping from his lemonade. Yes, you were thinking that. Had been since you guys started talking in fact. Then with him grabbing your hand at the table in front of Kelly, you didn’t know if the action was sincere or you just being a pawn in the midst of their game of who could make the other more jealous.

“So you think you’re completely moved on from her? And ready to date again?”

“I’ll be honest, when we first met I was still hurt and sulking as you could tell,” he briefly chuckles, “but the more we talked and hung out, I got over it and wanted to move on with someone who made me happy. Someone like you.”

Feeling him slide closer placing his hand on top of yours, your entire body heats up as his stubbled face feels like it’s mere inches from yours.

“So to answer your question, yes I’m ready and if it’s okay with you, I want to see how far this goes.”

Your soft smile as you close the remaining gap connecting your peach flavored lips with his makes him grin against your mouth happily accepting your answer. “I’ll take that as a yes, but if it’s not this is the greatest rejection I’ve ever gotten,” he speaks between pecks and occasional lip bites.

“You’re such a dork.”

His palm cradles the side of your face, thumb carefully gliding against your cheek and noses gently bumping each other not caring if he had to breathe. He just wanted to stay pressed to you.

A bright light shining in his eye, though, momentarily interrupts your intimate moment nearly making him groan out in annoyance how tonight just wasn’t the night for privacy.

“Alright guys I know you’re probably just enjoying your date, but if you’re gonna do that you gotta go back to your roo- oh, hey champ!,” the bulky security guard greets finally turning off his handheld light. “Insane game tonight.”

“Thanks,” Chris sighs partially shielding you as he tried to discreetly wipe around his mouth for any traces of your lip balm.

“Well you two have a nice night, but remember no extra curriculars out in the open if you catch my drift.”

“Got it. Goodnight sir.” He sends the guard off with a small wave before you’re both laughing at the night you’ve had and your forehead falls to his shoulder.

“Next date, I’m taking you out the country.”

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[twilightprince101]

The Train, Purple Lightning and “Fate”: An Infinity Train Theory

NOTE: This contains HEAVY SPOILERS for all of Infinity Train! Putting this under a read more, but tl;dr, I think the train has a way of predicting when things will happen-but not entirely be correct.

I was going back and rewatching Infinity Train Book 1 (Mainly bc I love the show and wanted to relive it) when I noticed something interesting. At the end of episode 9, when Tulip decides to fight and is racing to the Engine, we get a glimpse of the sky and see hints of purple lightning

Which was pretty cool as an effect, but then I remembered something: I’ve seen this lightning before. And if you’ve just watched the Book 3 finale, I’m sure you know what I’m referring to.

But it wasn’t just here either, it was also in another scene with Simon earlier. The one where he shifts from “okay he’s a shit but kinda ok” to “motherfucker unlimited.”

After thinking about it for a little bit, I went to Book 2 to look around, and sure enough, the lightning was there too

I’m going to reiterate: I’m rewatching all of Infinity Train, and the purple lightning throughout the entire series only appears this prominently during these scenes.  (May I reiterate: this prominently. I am aware that it can be seen in a brief flash in the very first episode when that random passenger gets sucked into the vortex, but it’s barely as noticeable as these three instances)

At first I thought the lightning was just a cool effect to reiterate the tension and weight of these dramatic scenes, and to be honest it very well could be. However all of these scenes where the lightning appears have something in common.

They all take place during times of great change not just for these characters, but for the entire train and its system as a whole.

Let me break it down and explain it one at a time.

Season 1: The lightning appears as Tulip is taking a stand against Amelia and her reign as Conductor, resolving to overthrow her and save Atticus.

This one is relatively simple, all things considered. Amelia has reigned as Conductor for 33 years (as noted by OneOne in the documentary shorts), and now that Tulip is going to fight back and bring OneOne back to the engine, her reign is soon going to end and things are going to go back to normal

Season 3: Simon, after committing so many atrocities, gets his number up so high that it has nowhere left to go on his body, giving him the highest number in existence.

(I’m doing season 3 before season 2 bc it’s shorter and relatively simpler than its big brother, you’ll understand soon)

As twisted as the train may be, we all know that its base premise is that it helps those it deems as needing help, teleporting them onto the train so they can sort out their problems. But as we’ve seen with Amelia and The Apex, they don’t technically have to. Aside from the threat of being stuck on the train forever, there’s nothing stopping them from fucking about and ignoring their problems.

Throughout Season 3, the Apex assumes that because they are destroying the cars, OneOne is trying to fight against them and put them back on track. However, as Amelia clarifies, he doesn’t even know that they exist.

Despite the fact that their numbers have been climbing in the complete opposite direction, the train hasn’t logged them down as anomalies or glitches in the system, they’re still considered normal passengers. It could be assumed that, like Grace and Amelia, they’ll all eventually come around and get the numbers to zero.

But then of course... Simon happens.

Considering our limited view of the train and its history, we don’t know if the numbers really can go higher or if other passengers have done the same thing in the past. However if he is the first, the fact that Simon’s number literally had nowhere else to go, reaching the highest possible limit, this goes against the train’s whole philosophy of “helping people.” There is now a clear flaw in the system that can no longer be ignored.

(As for the other instance with Simon, we’ll get back to that)

Season 2: Mirror Tulip (AKA M.T. (AKA Lake)) and Alan Dracula are waiting for one of the passenger pods so they can hijack one and get a number to get off the train

From what we’ve seen of the train and how it works, it seems clear that everything is made to revolve around the passengers. The cars are made to help people realize stuff about themselves, the numbers are made to represent their own personal growth and the denizens are made to assist them throughout their journey.

But that’s the thing: These denizens are made by the train. Every car that is created, the denizens are created alongside it. They are literally made to be the NPCs of the whole system and are made to assist passengers. OneOne even says so in the final episode of Book 2.

“Your passenger.” Not “Your friend” or “That one guy,” he specifically says “Your passenger.” Somehow, despite already helping Tulip with her problems, MT was assigned to Jesse.

And we’ve even seen this in other circumstances too! Tulip had Atticus to help her with a bunch of her stuff, and Grace had Hazel to make her realize that “Nulls” were people too. If they weren’t there, they wouldn’t have gone through their whole character arcs and back!

(As for how MT got assigned to Jesse despite already having “served her purpose” for Tulip, we’ll get back on that later).

But back to the point: The Denizens are created for the passengers by the train itself. So its whole deal with helping people grow and giving them an exit? That’s a luxury only reserved for passengers. It doesn’t see the denizens as “real people.” 

So Jesse refusing to leave MT behind, returning to the train so he can get his friend back? The train literally cannot fathom this turn of events and literally begins to break down.

It’s only through MT outsmarting the entire system and resolving OneOne’s broken logic loop that she’s able to escape, leaving the train for good.

But the fact that she’s even able to get off is crazy in of itself! We may not know how long the train has been around for, but the fact that the train began to broke down at MT wanting to leave means that this has to have been the first time this happened. And now that it’s shown that it can be possible for one denizen to leave the train, that opens the door for every single other denizen on the train! If they can “get a number,” they can leave the train.

Not to mention, Lake’s presence in the human world now gives people concrete proof that the train exists. If the train has existed for as long as humans have been alive, then that means there has to have been some rumors about it. And now, with a living girl made of chrome walking around (and a girl without a reflection), it is impossible to blow off those rumors anymore. The train is real.

So what does all this mean then?

The purple lightning (bet you already forgot about it now, eh?), throughout the series, has only showed up during these moments.  Tulip brought back OneOne, MT proved that denizens can leave the train, Simon proved that some passengers cannot be redeemed.  All three of these instances were points of great change in the train’s system, that will drastically alter things to come.

But why does the lightning only show up here? Is it that the train’s world can somehow sense when big things are going to happen? Or is it something deeper, like it can tell the future, and that’s how the passengers get “assigned” denizens? Well... I think it’s kind of a more complex system than that.

It’s painstakingly clear by now that the train is extremely flawed with the way it does things. Nothing is stopping passengers from staying on the train forever, it can whisk away people that are probably no more than 7 who are still developing as people, it’s possible for passengers to never change and make their numbers reach infinity, it doesn’t account for all the trauma that the train itself can leave on the passengers after they leave, it cannot fathom denizens wanting to get off the train and passengers wanting to help those denizens getting off the train and, in the case with Amelia, it’s possible for anyone to overthrow OneOne and take over as Conductor of the train.

However, I think these flaws show something very important. The train itself isn’t some sort of balevolent god that wants to help people become better, nor is it a malevolent one that wants to wreak havoc. It’s a giant machine.

Each car is made from different orbs, programmed by the Conductor (whoever that may be) to be whatever they like. The train’s helpers are all machines. The entire system itself runs on code. Very outdated code.

This is how I think different denizens are “assigned” to the passengers. I don’t think the train itself can see the future, but it can make predictions based on pre-existing data. Whatever passenger gets whisked to the train, they have their entire history and internal angst calculated and carefully analyzed. After running through their problems, the train can figure out exactly what that person needs in order to grow.

In the case of MT being Jesse’s “assigned Denizen,” while also technically being Tulip’s, here’s how I think it went down: After MT left to go her own path, the train kept her in mind as she went about her business, reassigning her to be someone that can help passengers grow. When Jesse got onto the train, it assigned MT to him and sent him in her general direction in his pod.

As for why exactly he didn’t get dropped off in the same car as MT, Jesse needed a bit of time to adjust and had to befriend Alan Dracula while MT wasn’t there. So when MT was asleep, the train moved the car Jesse was in right before the “Family Tree” car and let the rest of its predictions run its course. We do know its possible for the train to move around cars after all, with passengers on it.

But just because the train is good at predictions, it doesn’t mean they’ll always be 100% accurate. Remember: the train runs on very flawed logic. It isn’t always correct with how the passengers will act (Again, see Amelia and the Apex). So bringing this back around to the purple lightning, I think we found our answer.

The purple lightning represents moments when different aspects of the train completely fly off from their “intended course.” 

The train likely wasn’t thinking that Tulip could be its savior, especially with Amelia as the conductor. It likely thought that, as soon as her exit appeared she’d leave for good. But instead, she stuck around and went to save her friend. Tulip stuck around longer than predicted.

The train doesn’t see its denizens as actual people, thinking that as soon as passengers resolve their problems they’ll leave without a second thought. So MT going off on her own to get a number, along with Jesse coming back for her, both of them defied what the train thought was possible.

Then Simon. Simon, Simon, Simon. Out of everything the train could have predicted, it couldn’t have predicted him. 

The first time he broke from the train’s “intended course” was when he killed Tuba. We already know that Hazel was likely Grace’s denizen, since she was the reason that her whole view on the denizens had changed. But I think Tuba was meant to be Simon’s denizen (at least, his second one since The Cat abandoned him). With how helpful she was in The Colored Clock car, helping him escape and being the key to leaving the car, she was likely going to be Simon’s ticket to learning to trust “nulls” again. 

But then... yeah.

The second time he broke was after his fight with Grace. Despite abandoning her, betraying her, trying to kill her several times, Grace still saved him when he was about to fall. The train likely predicted here that Simon would see the err of his ways, pull an Amelia and go on the path of redemption.

But then...... yeah.

The third-and final time-was when he got what he wanted and got the number to end all numbers, likely bigger than the entire train expected. He had gone so far down the rabbit hole that there was nowhere else to go. Every chance he got to become a better person, he rejected. Simon himself is definitive proof that the train’s prediction system is flawed.

Each of these big moments reflects a gigantic flaw in the train’s system. It doesn’t expect these passengers to do the things they do, go off course from their intended destination. Like I said, the system relies on very outdated code. But now, having each of these situations be resolved, it knows how to deal with these issues going forward. A passenger can leave however they want, anyone can leave if they have a number, and most importantly, its prediction system needs fixing if it wants to keep helping passengers.

The train itself is a very, very strange beast. It’s kind and cruel all at once. But at the end of the day, it’s just a big computer doing its purpose. But this computer is old, outdated, extremely touchy. Each time these offshoots happen, it gives the chance for that code to be rewritten. And it’s very likely that it’s going to commit to these changes. For if it doesn’t... well... 

Let’s just say a lot more sand is gonna be added to this desert.

[espejonight28738]

15×10 meta "I don't know what is god and what's not..."

But maybe now we do. Kind of, anyway.

Warning: Destiel and Saileen positive. And somehow this ended up with a lot of Charlie, not that I think anyone will complain about that.

I've been thinking about this since Thursday. Like, one one hand, Dean's "The blood, the sweat, the tears, man. That's us." Was beautiful, specially if we take into account that a few episodes ago he still was all "I don't know what is God and what's not, and it's driving me crazy."

So I rewatched the entire season (that's why only now I have this) and now I will say what is God and what's not.

(I mean, kind of, I think we will never know the true extent of Chuck's manipulation to avoid even more plot holes XD)

So, first:

Mayor plots we know (or I think) were Chuck's:

 The first Apocalypse (Duh)

• Leviathans (I say this bc in one of Chuck's memories, Benny was in the bunker with Dean. Benny means Purgatory, and Purgatory means Leviathans. If the Leviathan are a constant, they probably are part of Chuck's plan.)

• The Mark of Cain (We've seen it like a million times, clearly that's a plot he likes)

• Probably the MoL because it was so bad

The ones we don't know:

• Amara (Like, I do think he didn't expect they would break the curse)

• Jack (I mean, he probably was the culprit Jack died after Micheal took his grace, and that's the reason he ended up soulless. But his actual birth? Idk)

• (Btw I say Chuck's the culprit because I don't understand why Cas would just become human when Metatron took his grace in s8, specially considering que was 100% angel, and he didn't even had a “soulless” problem... I don't know what happened there tbh, he should be kinda soulless? Or whatever. My point is that if an angel 100% can survive having his grace taken, I don't see why a Nephilim (50/50%) would die.)

• Probably AU!Micheal was not part of the plan, because he straight up told them they were just failed drafts. Besides, it was a direct consequence of Jack's birth, and I don't think Jack was part of the plan.

I was about to publish this, but now I have another one. How much of what happens in Heaven is Chuck? Like, we know he doesn't really care for the angels (Ask AU!Micheal), and the main characters are just Dean and Sam. But in this universe, because of Cas, both brothers have been closely related to whatever happens in Heaven. Does that mean Chuck has to intervene there so they don't ruin the story? Probably yes. Honestly I'm dying to know what happened in Heaven with Cas during 15×10 I NEED ANSWERS ABOUT THE ANGELS.

Things that Chuck can't do:

• Like, make someone do anything they don't want in a "mind control" kind of way. He can physically do people do things, like Eileen hurting Sam, but he can't control their mind. If he could, Dean would have killed Jack and nothing of this would be happening in the first place. Individual choices and actions are out of his control.

• He doesn't have power over the Empty, and doesn't know what's happening there. (That means there's no true omniciense)

• (The last point raises the question of how did he brought Cas back so many times. Or Lilith. I'll chose to believe those are continuity mistakes and not that, idk, this Cas is an exact copy of the original Cas and even him doesn't know he's a copy or smth.)

Things that we can deduce are, to certain degree, Chuck's fault.

• Cas constant unjustified absences (This we can assume for 1: "No one even mentions Cas" from Becky about Chuck's writing, and 2: In all the AU we saw as Chuck memories, Cas is never there. Not even mentioned.)

• [Related to the previous point, I think that considering that Cas was in none of Chuck's memories, we must take the fact that he was in almost all the PossibleFuture!scenes (first he was there, then in the car he is mentioned by Sam and Dean, the we had the "Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy? Ever since I had to bury him in a Ma'lak box?" moment, the next one we can see Dean moving his mouth before getting interrupted by Sam. Considering it was placed next to the prayer scene, we can deduce Dean was praying to Cas. That give us Cas in 4/6 Future moments.) as a sign that this Cas is different to the one in other universes. Maybe our theory that our Cas will be the key to Free Will, as he is special in some way in this universe in a way he isn't in others, will come true.]

• [Although then we need to ask why did Chuck let him live, if he interferes with the narrative]

• Soulless!Jack and Mary's death [Explained before]

• Actually, is possible that most deaths are Chuck's plot.

But in the more particular events, where is Chuck?

In this episode, we got confirmation that the popular headcanon of Charlie making the boys fake credit cards is canon. This ability to have money all the time is important for them not to waste time doing things that 'doesn't help move the plot along' as Garth said.

That could mean that one of the intentions behind Charlie's introduction was exactly that, solve a problem.

And if you think more, Charlie was introduced in a perfect moment and being the perfect character for the job.

Like, we met her when Cas was still crazy, and Dean hadn't really forgiven him, so he kinda was out of a best friend. Enters Charlie, a badass, geeky, nerdy and really cheerful girl. Literally, perfect bff material for Dean. And to make it even better, she was a lesbian, so that automatically cancels any possible sexual/romantic tension that Dean compulsively had with pretty much any female character back then. 

[And if I'm right about Chuck not planning Amara's freedom, then Charlie's individual acts of 1: Getting the Book of the Damned and 2: Decodifying it were probably the reason Chuck decided it was her time. Besides, her death pushed Dean to the edge with the Mark.]

All that convenience makes me believe that the people they know do are part of a pre-made plot, but only the meeting. They are only put on the Winchester's way. If we can take something from last episode is that even without their abilities and plot armor, they still have their friends. The relationships they've built are their strength, they are something almost sacred that Chuck can't touch. (As I said, he can't control minds, nor can he control feelings.)

Would you look at that, it looks like Castiel "And maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race. We made our own move" Winchester (My soul won't rest until someone recognize Cas in the show as a Winchester) was right all along. Shocked. 

So, once again, we have everything telling us the most important thing the brothers have is the other people that they love. That is theirs, that is real.

And I also think is important they got that lesson without Eileen and Cas. Because those are the people they love the most (besides each other), yes, but they also are the ones that Chuck have used against them.

Dean's history with Cas has been part of the story, so it was logical that in the middle of his existential crisis, he doubted of their relationship.

And now Sam has confirmation that it's thanks to Chuck that Eileen is back.

Both relationships could feel a little tainted.

With them, it would be more difficult to put aside their doubts. But with good old Garth? He wasn't even in the Possible Future. He's as much as a comfort character as you can get for Dean and Sam. Looking at him all happy and domestic, and yet being by their side when they can't do anything be themselves is exactly what they needed to move their friends and family to the "Non-Chuck tricks" list. 

And a little note:

I don't think they just lost their "plot armor", I think Chuck purposely made them average humans. But without Chuck, they wouldn't be average. Dean's been trained to be a soldier since he was 4 years, and maybe Sam had a little bit more of a childhood thanks to Dean, but still he was trained since he was a kid.

And you tell me they can't pick a lock without Chuck's powers? That Sam just runs against everything and falls? Those are things any of us would do, not someone who has been training 30 years more or less.

So no, I do not think they would (will?) be like this when they beat Chuck. Yes, maybe they will be intolerant to lactose, and have cavities and that stuff, but they are still trained, that doesn't just go away.

[BTW I realize half this meta was in parenthesis. Sorry about that.]

Tagging: @metafest @verobatto-angelxhunter @agusvedder @legendary-destiel @that-one-fandom-chick @studio-hatter  

[cherishtaengs]

I Hate That I... (pt. 3 - Y/N)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 |

Word Count: 3486

(This is so long because I’m trying my best to get my word count up for nanowrimo bc I am WAY behind the schedule I made for myself, but I hope y’all don’t mind skjdfhd)

You swept through the library doors, allowing yourself to quicken your pace into a brisk walk. For some reason, you couldn’t shake the feeling of Taeyang’s eyes staring after you, even though you knew you were safely far away from him. You also had a class to get to, but the little run in with the bane of your existence had left you dangerously close to being late.

You knew you shouldn’t have let him talk you into kissing him not just once, but twice- you knew there was nothing real in the way he practically begged for it. Not even the Devil himself could change overnight, and Yoo Taeyang was the next closest thing. But the only explanation you had to letting him sway you with a few words was that you wanted it. You wanted to kiss him again, just like you had at the party, and just the thought of that made your stomach flip. You shook your head, as if that would banish your thoughts from your mind for good. You didn’t know if you’d tell your roommate about the second and third kisses.

Thankfully, your class wasn’t too far, so you made it in right on time. Everyone else was already in their seats and looked up as you appeared at the door. Some hid their snide grins behind strategically placed hands, and others shared knowing glances with the people sitting next to them. To their credit, no one said a single word, so you took the walk of shame to your seat in silence. Your roommate and friend, Sammi, offered you a sympathetic smile. Somehow, that was worse than if someone had cracked a smart joke in your direction. You fully expected news of the little scene with Taeyang to have spread among friend groups by now. After all, there was no way that his incessant teasing and your passive aggressive response would only stay within the four walls of the library on such a small campus. Everybody knew everybody, and everybody talked, so you weren’t really surprised that you’d suddenly become a hot topic for conversations.

“You know what everyone’s talking about, right?” Sammi, leaned toward you. You shrugged a shoulder.

“Yeah,” You knew your classmates seated closest to the two of you had their attentions fully on you, but you didn’t exactly care. “I kind of expected this after the idiot made a totally unnecessary scene in the library yesterday.”

Okay, so you weren’t going to mention the second and third kisses just yet, at least not until you figured out what mess you and Taeyang had gotten yourselves into. In all honesty, you weren’t sure if you wanted to tell Sammi at all; the last thing you needed was for her to go crazy thinking the two of you were together or anything. Because that’s not at all what this was about, whatever this even was. This was about you beating Taeyang at all of his stupid little games and hearing him say sorry to you at least once for making your life unbearable whenever he was around.

“Are you gonna do anything about it?” your friend turned her attention back to her books as the professor walked in.

“What exactly am I supposed to do?” You asked, poking at your notebook with your pen. You definitely couldn’t mention wanting to get back at him. “I did what I did, he said what he said. People saw, people heard. That’s that.”

“But aren’t you going to, y’know,” she lowered her voice as the class began. “Get revenge?”

At this, you turned to stare at her. Sure Sammi had said a few questionable things about your hate-hate relationship with Taeyang before, but you didn’t think she’d actually support you getting even with him. “If you have anything in mind, let me know.”

The wicked grin on her face gave away that she did, in fact, have something in mind, and you juggled the thought of telling her your own plan.

Once class started, you couldn’t focus. The only thing going through your head was what happened in the library just a few minutes ago. You were always on high alert when you were near Taeyang, you never knew what he’d throw your way- even though mostly, it was just a snide comment here or there and nothing much more confrontational than that. But, you were always ready anyway. And yet, he’d still managed to corner you, literally and figuratively.

As images of all three kisses flashed through your mind, you felt the heat rise in your cheeks. You hated it. You absolutely despised how he’d left such an impression on you all three times. You felt it both at the party and at the library, the strange weightless feeling. Even though it was all you could think about, you didn’t quite understand. For so long, Taeyang had made you feel nothing but anger. Even if he wasn’t trying, he got on your nerves. And that insufferable grin he always put on when he realized just how annoyed you were- god, you hated it. But now, here you are, unable to focus in class because you couldn’t for the life of you stop thinking about kissing him.

And you hated the fact that you couldn’t understand what you were feeling more than the fact that it was him. Sure, fine, whatever, you kissed Taeyang. None of that meant anything in itself. Or, it wouldn’t have if you could just shake the strange feeling in the pit of your stomach. Whenever you wanted to get rid of the thought, your brain made sure you remembered every detail. From the way Taeyang’s hands had held you to how unbelievably good it had felt when he kissed you.

Well, of course Taeyang would be the perfect kisser- you knew he had plenty of experience in the field. And it wasn’t like he was your first kiss, either, but you couldn’t remember anyone having the same effect on you as he did. You were amazed at how easy it was to lose yourself in him, to momentarily forget about what was going on. The only thing on your mind was how he’d left you wanting more both times, and it made you want to scream.

“You okay?” Sammi nudged you with her elbow, bringing you back into the real world as class drew to an end. You realized that you’d spent the entire hour daydreaming instead of actually paying attention, and you felt another flush on your face.

“Yeah,” You gathered your things and stood, joining her as the flow of students moved toward the door. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just zoned out.”

“I can tell,” she had a smile on her face, and she looked you over once. “Will you tell me if I ask you why?”

You shrugged, avoiding eye contact with her as you both stepped out into the hall. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”

Your roommate offered you a knowing glance, which you did not need. “Were you up thinking about him all night?”

Before you could answer, Sammi pushed her shoulder against yours, turning you to the side. And, of course, just as your luck would have it, Taeyang was walking down the hall toward you. You quickly spun back to face your friend.

“No, I wasn’t,” You hissed as she barely hid her wide and mischievous grin. “I definitely don’t spend my time-”

“Thinking about me?”

You wondered if you’d get in trouble for punching an asshole in the face right then. And while it seemed like a good idea, you decided against it, instead turning around to look Taeyang in the eyes. He was standing an arm’s length away from you and you quickly saw that they weren’t the same soft eyes as before; they were back to being sharp and mocking.

“In your dreams,” you cross your arms and let a small smirk onto your lips, already deciding you’d get the last laugh. “You know what they say; when you can’t sleep, it’s because someone else is dreaming about you. I wonder if that’s why I was up all night.”

You heard Sammi draw in a sharp breath next to you. Taeyang’s grin only got wider, and his eyes narrowed, as if to acknowledge your taunt. Your heart was beating hard against your chest, and you hoped you looked as tough as you wanted to. “Then I guess I should thank you for making my dream come true. But, you had to break your promise to never kiss me again, didn’t you? Or was what happened today another mistake?”

You noticed that Sammi was very quiet and still beside you, obviously confused and unwilling to look away. You’d have to explain yourself later, exactly what you’d been wanting to avoid. But you’d handle that situation right after you finished this one.

“It wasn’t a mistake,” you shrugged, daring him to challenge you. “If I remember correctly, you were the one who begged for it.”

At that, Taeyang’s confident grin faltered a bit. It was almost imperceptible, but you caught it, the slightest twitch at the corner of his perfect mouth, and your heart jumped. There was nothing else he could say now; it was a clear blow to his ego, and Taeyang realized that you’d won this round.

“Now, if you’ll excuse us,” you continued before he can speak, momentarily basking in the victory before having to face your friend. “We have better things to be doing, and they don’t involve you.”

With that, you dismissed Taeyang and pulled Sammi along in the opposite direction. She still hadn’t said a word, and that bothered you more than if she was losing her mind. Which you knew she probably was, but was also still processing everything, because you kind of were too.

“Okay, listen,” you finally breathed out as you and your roommate were safely outside. “I’ll explain-”

“Damn right you will!” she crossed her arms, planting herself firmly in front of you. “Literally what was that?”

It was like your heart beat was amplified throughout your body, pounding against every part of you. There was no way you could prepare her for what you were about to admit, so you just blurted it out.

“Taeyang found me in the library and we kinda kissed twice there because he said he wanted to know if he felt something after the first kiss at the party but he needed to kiss me again to find out but it wasn’t the same so then we kissed again and he told me it was a bet and now we’re in this unspoken war kind of thing and yeah that’s what that was.”

You caught your breath, unsure of how Sammi would respond. She didn’t for a few moments, just stared at you blankly while the information settled in her brain. And when everything finally made sense to her, you saw the expression on her face change ever so slowly, comically shifting between confusion and disbelief before finally landing on excitement. She grabbed your hands in hers, a big smile splitting across her face.

“Taeyang is in love with you!”

You pulled away from her just as fast as the words left her mouth and shook your head. “No, that’s definitely not what it is. He doesn’t like me, he thinks he’s playing me. But he’s not, because I am. Playing him, that is. I’m playing him.”

You weren’t sure why your words were suddenly coming out all jumbled, but you guess it was because you were still a bit shaken.

“Oh my God,” your roommate clasped her hands together, gasping. “Then you’re in love with him!”

You run your hand through your hair, taking a deep breath. You should’ve just left her confused. “That is exactly the opposite of what I said. No one’s in love with anyone! We don’t even know each other like that.”

But of course Sammi wouldn’t let it go that easily. “Well, if you hate him so much without even knowing him, you can like him, too.”

“I can’t hate him and like him at the same time,” you rolled your eyes, knowing you wouldn’t get anywhere by arguing with her. “Pick a struggle.”

“Wait, wait,” she waved her hands and began the shower of questions that you’d expected as you started to your next class. “Tell me all about it. Is he that good of a kisser? Was there tongue? Actually, I don’t think he’d do that this early-”

Was beating Taeyang at his own game worth dealing with this?

- - -

The rest of your classes passed by similar to the first. All you could think of was Taeyang and his cocky smirk. You silently seethed, unnerved by the way he’d suddenly claimed the larger portion of your attention. That was way too much power, and you knew you shouldn’t allow him to have it.

But, as if the universe was apologizing for being so rude to you, the end of your day brought a pleasant distraction along with it.

“Y/N!”

You heard a vaguely familiar voice call you as you walked out of your last class. Sparing a glance over your shoulder, you caught sight of Inseong hurrying toward you. You immediately stopped in your tracks, clutching your book closer to you, and wondered why Inseong of all people would be looking for you.

“Y/N,” Inseong slowed down a few feet away from you, giving you enough personal space. You only noticed that because, conversely, Taeyang seemed to have no care for that concept at all. “I was hoping to run into you.”

As Inseong paused to catch his breath, you noticed that his cheeks looked slightly flushed and his hair was tousled from the wind. You hoped it wasn’t obvious, but his presence itself made your pulse flutter.

“I had classes all day today,” you smiled apologetically. “Just got out.”

“Really?” Inseong looked at you, eyes slightly wide as if he’d never heard of having a full schedule before. But you knew he was very familiar with heavy workloads; he was one of the smartest people you‘d ever come across. Nearly everyone worshipped Inseong and his brain. “It’s already past 6- you must be tired.”

You laughed nervously, hoping it came out more casual than anxious. “Yeah, I’m exhausted. Why were you looking for me?”

Inseong’s eyebrows bounced up quickly, remembering that there was an actual reason he’d stopped you. “I just... Wanted to apologize.”

“For what?” 

Inseong lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck, dropping his eyes to the ground for a moment. When he looked back up, you noticed that they seemed to sparkle in the evening light. It wasn’t the right time, but you still felt your cheeks tingle with warmth. “For how Taeyang was acting yesterday. It was really uncalled for and he’s not... well, no, he is usually like that, but he’s nicer.”

You raised a skeptical eyebrow. There was no way you’d believe that until Taeyang himself proved it. Inseong rushed to continue.

“I know, you may not believe me,” he held his hands up, a sheepish smile lifting the corners of his lips. “But Taeyang’s not all asshole. Mostly, but not fully.”

You definitely didn’t believe Inseong, but you thought it was sweet of him to even try. Why couldn’t all of Taeyang’s friends be this nice? If they’d just learn some common manners from Inseong, maybe you’d tolerate them more. The older boy was looking down at you with expectant eyes, and you noticed the stark difference in auras between him and Taeyang. You hadn’t even been speaking to him for long, but he very clearly radiated a certain warmth that Taeyang was sorely missing.

“It’s really kind of you to try to clear his name,” you say softly, absently fidgeting with the strap of your bag. “But, that’s something Taeyang needs to do himself.”

Inseong blew out a breathy laugh, nodding his head. “I agree, believe me, I do. But knowing him, he doesn’t even realize he’s in the wrong. And I’ve, uh, heard people talking. Sorry about that, too.”

For some reason, it made you nervous that Inseong knew that things were spreading around campus, but you had also anticipated it to happen. Of course, you knew Inseong would have realized that gossip spreads like wildfire- you understood that was part of the reason he’d stepped in between you and Taeyang yesterday. 

“It’s fine,” you shake your head, face quickly growing warmer. “I mean, there’s nothing going on between us, so I’m not worried about what people have to say about me.”

“That’s a relief,” you weren’t sure if there was a faint hesitation in his voice and you thought another expression flashed across his face for a moment, but he quickly replaced it with his usual bright smile. “And there’s one more thing-”

You watched as Inseong reached into his pocket and brought out a piece of paper that looked like it had been folded several times until it was a square almost the same size as his thumb. You felt a particularly hard thump against your chest as your fingers brushed his when you took the paper from him. When you unfolded it, you saw an address with a date, and right underneath that was a phone number. Could he see how your hands were shaking? You hoped not.

“Tell your friend about it, too,” your eyes followed Inseong’s hands as he ran his fingers through his hair and brushed a few strands behind his slightly pink ears. “Let me know if you’ll be there.”

You couldn’t find words for a moment. They seemed to have gotten lost somewhere in your head, mixed up with all the other things in there. It was almost a moment too late when you finally remembered that you should give him a response. And breathe.

“Yeah,” you nod a little harder than was normal. “Yeah, I’m sure she’d love to go.”

“What about you?” Inseong asked, lightly teasing. In just a second, you felt your ears burn and your cheeks tingled.

“Right!” you nod again, hair flying into your face as a crisp breeze picked up around you. “Yes, of course, yeah, I’ll... definitely be there.”

You didn’t know why it was so hard to form proper sentences all of a sudden, but maybe it had something to do with the really pretty smile Inseong was giving you. You wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

“Great,” Inseong said cheerfully. “Then I’ll see you there!”

He gave you a short wave and turned, walking away to do whatever it was that he had to do next, leaving you silently sucking as much air into your burning lungs as you could and blinking down at the paper in disbelief.

When you later told your roommate about the party Kim Inseong had invited you to himself, she had to lean against the wall for balance as she read the paper.

“And he wrote his number down?” Sammi’s eyes darted between you and the paper. “Okay, you can have Taeyang, let me-”

You snatch the paper back from her, shaking your head. “I don’t want Taeyang. I don’t want either of them.”

“Man, this really isn’t fair,” your roommate groaned, falling back onto her bed. “How are all the cute guys giving you attention when you don’t even appreciate it.”

You shrugged, carefully folding the paper and placing it in the drawer of your table. “Listen, I didn’t even ask for this. I’d gladly switch lives with you if it were possible.”

Sammi let out a loud sigh. “No, that’s fine. I’m already putting together what you’ll wear so I can live vicariously through you at the party.”

“What do you mean?” naturally, you were very wary of whatever it was that she had in mind. It definitely wouldn’t just be a night where you and her could have fun if she was already scheming.

Sammi pushed herself onto her elbows, eyes glinting mischievously. “Don’t worry, we’ll have fun. Maybe it’ll even help you win your little game or whatever. Trust me; I have an idea.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” you exhaled sharply, turning away from her. You definitely didn’t want her to go through with whatever she was planning, but you also knew that nothing could stop her if she was dead set on making it happen.

Sammi giggled with satisfaction. “It’ll be a good night. You can thank me later.”

You knew it was risky, but a part of you was also looking forward to the party. It was a few days away, but you already decided that you wouldn’t let it end the way the other one did. You wouldn’t let this one become an embarrassing mess.

For the sake of your own sanity, you couldn’t let that happen.

[cheswirls]

tether notes 2/3

pt. 3

i mentioned this in the last part, but i used muroran as basis for veilstone, not abashiri. actually, if you want my opinion, i think shari, hokkaido, is a better depiction of veilstone than abashiri. mostly, i used muroran bc i could find pictures there that were more than just boat-icebreaker-drift ice-boat. abashiri is cold. and full of drift ice. if you need context, it’s level with toronto, canada. a pretty cold place to live. muroran is further south, and it’s also a port city, so i jus used that.

shari looks nicer, but it’s more into the hook of hokkaido (that piece on sinnoh map that jutts out right below battle zone) and not nestled into the mountains, so. mostly it was out.

makino’s cafe/bar is based on the diner in veilstone. so, walk in, counter bar to your left, tables to your right, possibly a happiny underfoot carrying trays of food. 

but, compared to the more rustic and colored veilstone, i wanted to depict more of hokkaido city here. so, more rundown, rusted due to sea breeze, older things without much repair. passable, sure, for daily life. but new and extravagant? no. far from.

if makino is so close with luffy, how come she doesn’t know sabo?

simple. she’s not close with luffy. makino has a fulltime job running a diner in veilstone, sinnoh. luffy grew up on the sevii islands, kanto. when he was in sinnoh, he was training with shanks. yeah, sure, they would come by for food, and makino is good friends with shanks, so of course she and luffy have a relationship. but, also at this point where shanks began to bring luffy around, instead of teaching him out in nowhere, sevii islands, they began to keep things secret. luffy was here “just visiting” to anyone who asks, but they wouldn’t seen him much around, not in the isolation shanks trained him in. also also at this point, because i derailed that sentence completely, ace and sabo were already out traveling. it just never came up. makino is friendly with luffy, she knows luffy, but she doesn’t know him, not really.

pokemon hunters is another anime concept i wanted to use, again to make the story more gritty. no evil teams here with world-domination plots, just poachers. pretty standard. still awful, especially if they’re poaching people, now, but nothing as wide-scale as team galactic.

i had so much fun writing ship captain jinbe. i wished i got more of a chance to write his crew, too. at this point i think i had just caught up reading blackbird by milo, and i was hooked on the idea of biker fishman gang and leader jinbe, so i adapted it into ship crew here. praline is there, yes. she’s badass. i said so, you heard it here. 

i talked a lot with my big bang partner, and we eventually decided jinbe’s a mix of hoenn and sinnoh descent. so, darker skin, almost polynesian, from hoenn’s more pacific island vibe. dark, curly hair. i drew a picture once? oh, here it is. jus a little sketch. he probably actually comes from hoenn, but he does cargo runs throughout sinnoh now. [i should probably say around, since there arent rly canals thru sinnoh?]

regarding law’s map error, i really jus wanted to reference flower paradise. of course the map he got was a tourist version, so of course it’s gonna include the magical pathway connecting the sinnoh league to an island of flowers. but it doesn’t actually exist, or if it does, it’s not always there, since they sail through the space with ease. just another fun easter egg. 

the marsh scene was another i’ve known i wanted since the beginning. i had so much fun drawing the map for it. i actually based the scenes entirely off the map, so while i knew the general direction i wanted it to go in, and that they would run into sabo, the part about wandering into the rain and encountering volcarona spawned while marking the map. crazy how things work, huh?

i think i made the chase move a little too fast, so most of the time out of their 12 hr limit is spent after departing from the marsh, wandering thru route 212. don get me wrong, the marsh scene spans over the course of hours, but its still less time from leaving the ship to leaving sabo than it is to get back to the ship.

the aegislash scene is the first one i conceptualized, of the marsh scene series. introducing law’s team was strategic, especially once i revealed luffy only had four pokemon. it was always meant to be a readers gamble how many law had. at the end of part 3, it’s pretty easy to gauge how many, but still, the surprise of the sixth pokemon in pt 4 is something im still proud of c:

anyway, yes, the first sense of real danger. poachers have no qualms in using their pokemon to harm other people. they’re there for the money, which they get from capturing and caging rare pokemon. who cares if they hurt a few people along the way? who cares if they brutalize them to take a particular pokemon, a-la mr. cleffa sir? law reacts to this very quickly, in part because he’s used to it, as explained in tragic backstory number 2, right behind one-brother-dies-and-the-other-runs-away from protag #2. 

actually, i guess the first danger was the wild kadabra, but this is the one in which someone gets hurt! . . . or, worse-hurt, because law’s scratch doesn’t count. luffy’s gash in his shoulder? that’s a big injury. especially when they can’t just stop to treat it, especially when law still has blood on his face from it, especially when they have to go right back to running around the marsh.

and then sabo appears!! i lied, this was the first marsh scene. i drabble-wrote it in my series-of-drabbles-to-add-to-the-outline before i made pt 3′s outline, and then wrote it for real. the aegislash-being-badass-therefore-law-also-by-proxy was the second. one of the first sentences i ever wrote for tether was law realizing the face from luffy’s picture was right before his eyes. 

so why do the hunters ignore luffy calling for sabo while running away?

yes, why the no consequences? i realized at this point they were too far away to hear and law too out of it (its law’s pov, still) to figure what they were saying, to i had to play it off. it’s another scene where i almost wrote a few paragraphs from a different perspective [the other two were the tsuru-caesar confrontation and the mr. cleffa dude ft. sabo scene, both of which i had to expand upon by talking, instead of a flashback to show it. i rly went full soul-eater approach here, huh? explaining everything through present means. well. save for law’s backstory, but that’s about the only thing.] but decided not to in the end.

here’s how the scene plays out, full disclosure. law and luffy spot the two hunters. a third person, sabo comes into view. the hunters tell sabo the situation, that they were being chased. law recognizes sabo, luffy does too, and calls out to him, loudly. this causes the hunters to panic, and they tell sabo, there, there’s the people chasing after us. law figures sabo has some secret reason for posing as a hunter and pulls luffy again out of view, not wanting to give him away. all three hunters take off running in the opposite direction. luffy calls out for sabo again, and sabo turns to question the other two, asking which pokemon they stole that was named ‘sabo’. he has a fake name, obviously. they don’t know he’s sabo. before they can figure it out, he derails the topic. but then he slips crossed fingers behind his back at the same time, signaling silently to luffy, who stops calling out.

so, tldr, sabo’s not using his real name while with the hunters and is smart enough to cover his ass from luffy’s mistake.

i wanted law carrying luffy, on their way down the route, to the stormclouds, and i’m pretty sure the one reason i didnt go thru with it is because law’s backpack. and, y’know, luffy being caked in mud. 

okay, do. panic attack time. ptsd time. a mix of both, ig. whatever you wanna call it. originally, this scene was going to be a bit different, and happen way earlier in the story. it didnt bc of sinnoh’s lack of fire types [there are only 2 i think, 2 lines i mean, so like 5] and the fact that ace’s team featured none of them. and then i thought, oh, i’ll jus make the same thing happen w sabo, except none of sabo’s team were one of them as well.

originally, it was going to be that law/lu encounter a clan of a specific type of wild fire pokemon. i think for the longest time it was talonflame, not sure anymore. anyway, so it was gonna go that luffy recognizes ace’s former pokemon outta the bunch, and they recognize lu as well, and the two reunite and all that jazz, and meanwhile law has his attack bc the group they encounter are one of the pokemon that tormented him in alola.

and, nope, now i remember why it didnt happen. as much as i hate dof, i had to craft a team for him for plot purposes, and that ended up being a bug team to go w the whole string motif. the problem was i had this scene planned for a looooong time, and it needed to be w a fire type, one of ace’s pokemon. except there are like no fire/bug pokemon, except for volcarona, who wasn’t on ace’s already-planned team at this point. i debated for foreeeeever and finally decided to screw it, and i made it sabo’s unova pokemon. so, instead of getting a unova dragon, in the land of dragons unova, sabo gets a volcarona and ace a darmanitan. all for plot purposes. no sense here. none at all.

[not that it matters, since sabo morphs into a fire trainer anyway after ace dies]

so, after i decided it would be sabos pokemon, the point came back to how they would encounter it. no hordes of wild volcarona in sinnoh. i sadly had to scrap the idea. this is what i came up with instead: volcarona coming to luffy to deliver a letter, and scarring law in the process.

Law has a chocolate bar, because he’s ten and anxious and chocolate seemed good at the time.

-aka my favorite line of the whole entire story!!!

and then law’s backstory time. so!!! for the longest time i was torn between setting the story in sinnoh or alola. this was my big compromise. i wrote a draft-outline for law’s alola backstory before i wrote a real outline for tether as a whole. this was the first part of the story i really wrote. i was done with it before i started pt 1, because i wanted to outline before i started writing. 

the thing abt law is that his life is so much of a tragedy. oda writes it so well, to the point where you’re thinking this can’t get any worse and then it gets worse, every time. i wanted to mimic that here. i didn’t do it justice, but i at least tried.

law’s life is filled with mistrust. his whole village dies, he nearly does as well, and so he packs up and runs away, and hides his one pokemon abra because he’s not a registered trainer and he refuses to abandon abra so theres mistrust towards everyone who can turn him in, and everyone who didnt care enough to help with the water crisis. he’s done with sinnoh. so he spends a bit holed up in a library, and once he reads about alola, he’s sold. he’s so mistrustful it’s not a matter of ‘anywhere is better than sinnoh’, its a matter of ‘i can’t end up in another place just like this’. alola is the solution.

except, he’s still mistrustful. so he hides abra, and he hides his money, and he doesn’t speak with anyone, and he leaves the city as soon as he can. he doesn’t know the rules of this place, but abra is all he has. he can’t lose abra. and then things go wrong.

because he’s out of sinnoh, but alola is different. he’s ten, and he’s never had a real pokemon battle, and all the wild pokemon of alola are too eager. he’s ten, and a pangoro attacks and he loses all his supplies on his very first day, because abra’s too exhausted to teleport them away this time. [in hindsight, i did a really bad continuity error here, throughout the entire flashback. it’s thru law’s eyes, so i describe the pokemon he doesn’t know about, and yet sometimes i name the pokemon he really shouldn’t know about. my bad.]

he’s ten, and the only food he finds is being guarded by a giant sumo crab, so he crawls to the other side of the beach and falls asleep on the sand, hungry. he’s ten, and he’s living off berries because money is only so good when you can exchange it, and he’s far away from civilization. he’s ten, and he spends the very last of his money on money for abra, for his only pokemon and his only ally, because going to a pokemon center would mean being seen and asking for a license to verify and its too risky, he can’t risk it. 

he’s ten, and he’s hungry, and he has nothing but the abra clutched in his arms and his ripped clothes clinging to his body, and he witnesses a murder. and they catch him in the act, and then he’s stuck, because he shouldn’t have a pokemon so young, and he’s a witness to a crime, and too quickly he’s in a very bad position.

he’s ten, and to keep abra alive, he joins a gang in alola.

he’s ten, and he’s blackmailed into working or risking abra being taken away. he’s ten, and he has morals, and there’s some tasks he won’t do, but the family boss punishes him for it, harshly. he stops having morals. it wouldn’t do him good here. 

law turns eleven, and suddenly gang tasks involve pokemon battles. law’s eleven, and doflamingo trains law himself, beating the weakness out of him, burning him, scarring him, terrorizing him because he can, and because law can’t refuse. 

law’s eleven when he realizes his picture-perfect alola was nothing but an illusion, because the lack of monopolies and corporations and factories actually had nothing to do with how much the natives cared about their own, or cared at all, about anything. just because alola didn’t have a pokemon league didn’t mean it wasn’t a bad place to be.

he’s eleven when he meets corazon, and finally, finally, gets a breath of fresh air, gets a taste of a person who isn’t there to ridicule him or abuse him. he’s eleven when he meets his first real friend since his sister died, meets someone that finally treats him like a human being. and it doesnt matter that he’s doflamingo’s brother, because he’s kind to law.

law’s eleven and corazon works to repair the damage done by the gang, little by little. he gets law out on an island challenge, and he wanders through melemele and akala and meets kind people and has fun and experiences the real alola. and he realizes, somewhere along the way, that he never wants to go back to the family ever again.

law’s eleven when he realizes he has no choice. because he belongs to doflamingo, because he has to skip out on ula’ula to accomplish a task for the family, because corazon sits there and lets it happen. 

law’s eleven when he’s given a pokemon egg, and when he’s given hope.

corazon was going to take care of everything. he was going to get them out, safely. they were going to rescue a captive pokemon. law was going to be free. law was never going to be hurt by the family again.

except, that’s not how it goes. corazon dies. corazon’s pokemon are tortured in order to lure law out. corazon’s pokemon all die for him and law has no option left but to run with all his might, all the way from one tip of ula’ula to the other. and then, because he can’t trust anyone, anyone, law runs away into a desert with no supplies to speak of.

law’s eleven when he comes face to face with the most temperamental tapu in the alola region, and even with all he’s been through, it’s the most scared he’s even been in his entire life. and then, when he comes to, he finds himself stranded in the kalos region. he’s eleven. he goes through all of this and he’s not even a teenager yet.

so, backing up just a bit, you can see how seeing a volcarona is going to invoke some rather strong emotions in law. he panics. he passes out. luffy puts volcarona away, because me might be oblivious on a lot of things, but he can understand the pure terror in law’s eyes.

alright, what else. the letter. of course luffy disavows the letter, he’s luffy, he can’t follow a plan to save his life.

[thetruthlsoutthere]

DW Dreams Post {2}

Read on (:

Dreams {1} 12/7/2016 to 12/8/2016|| Dreams {2} 12/8/2016 to 12/9/2016 // The day before yesterday, its like i was in this grass path with wood tress on either side like a freaking royal garden or some shit and the 10th and the 11th doctor were there and for some reason i was backing up from the 10th like i was afraid of him o something lmao and i hid behind his 6th Doctor regeneration self as he tried to sonic me and he looked hurt or something that i hid behind one of his other selves from him and his 11th self was watching shocked. I think someone else was there. Then its like me and River are in the Tardis, sitting down at one of the steps and she is telling me, "I am intimidated by you sometimes" and i am saying something like "Oh River Song... aka.. Melody Pond" so maybe i am liking telling her she doesn't need to be and asking why she is. THEN So I had a dream about the Master last night and it was his john simm form with the black hoodie bottoms and jeans with the red shirt underneath but anyway, its like he was in the backyard of my house by where our bonfire is and anyway, he was moving the stuff around it and its like then I am walking with Fred and George Weasley from Harry Potter and its like the Master was maybe walking with someone, the Doctor maybe? out of the woods up from the bonfire and he kept looking at me from the woods to the bonfire before and at the bonfire part before, i was walking out the back door and i was looking for someone, curving my body as i put a hand to my mouth to laugh and its like he was watching me stealthily move around the back part of my house to the side and BRUH, before or after that, there was this part where its like i was wearing this Christmas green really pretty dress and a red one as well and he told me HE WANTED TO TAKE ME RIGHT UP Against the wall or something AND THEN ITS LIKE I AM CRYING AT THE END OF THE DREAM AFTER HE CONTACTS ME THROUGH THIS ANCIENT BOOK AND LIKE WHY AM I CRYING?? LMAO ________________________________________________________________

Dream from 10/31/2016 to 11/1/2016 // Its like I was in this dark basement or something but there was this area of three rooms. I enter the first one and I get this really bad feeling like someone is there and watching me. Then I see this second room. I don't know if I am with anyone but I think I was alone. There were three rooms bc I stated it in the dream to 2 other people of what had happened to me and I will explain in that. Now the second room, the feeling gets even worse, I start to shake and try to gain control and everything but whoever is there that I cannot see is trying to take control over me. Its hits full force when I open the third room. I am hearing a scary dark voice, my whole body is shaking and other things. I must have thought it was the Devil because I end up screaming, "No, I am with God. You can go to Hell.". I have trouble trying to close the door because they wont leave me be. I finally manage to close it then I start running away. It is later on when I am in a different room, none of those three, that I explain these events to two other people. I like to think it was Amy and Rory but maybe it wasn't. All I know was that it was a male and a female.

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Dream from 10/31/2016 to 11/1/2016 // Its like Amy and Rory were running through this area of grassy woods and some kind of grey alien creature almost looking like the Absorbaloff but more creepier and deadlier so maybe a different alien creature then its like I am there and so is the Eleventh Doctor, were trying to escape from it. Somehow, I end up farther back from this area in the grassy woods where there is like a plankl to walk on from im on then in front of me and the deadly creature thing sees I am on my own and starts to make its way towards me and the Eleventh Doctor see's this, jumps into the creature's view and ends up walking down that plank thingy whatever in front of me. And in the midst of all this, him getting the creature's attention because maybe that means he didn't want me to get hurt, and I say, "Doctor stop, don't be an idiot.", because he could get hurt too and I obviously didn't want that either. Then it's like the Doctor is close to me, the creature in the background, Amy and Rory are safe maybe still to the side, out the creature's view. Then it's like this woman appears. She looks old like maybe in her 50's. She has long wavy blonde hair, light eyes, warm complexion and she was wearing old clothes rich in dark purplish red and I think she held something in her hands. Is she the one having power over this creature or whatever? Then it's like were in this dark area and there are these group of human men who are staring at us and I am sitting down and one of the men is talking about how they tried to take the creature down and they have not had luck and either {think they know more or don't at all.} I end up being my sassy cute self or whatever and say something like, "We actually do know more..... {something else said} but good effort buddy.", then I get up so. After that, there is an area of restroom stalls but ,like without the toilers, lmao so just a set of doors and the Doctor, me and other people we must know, so maybe not Amy and Rory but other timelords/time ladies and its like we are all regenerating or something. I look either still like myself or Nina Dobrev because I had that feeling. The Eleventh Doctor still looks like himself, I think. Me and him get close almost like were going to kiss but then we run off together. Then it is like there is a scene where I am talking to the Rani or someone. Why do I feel like its the Rani , lmao bc in a previous dream of me and her; it was like we are friends so is this part of this dream before or after that one like dreams in order or not. ANYWAY, whoever the woman is, if it is the Rani, she is talking to me annoyed or something about how the Doctor is crazy about me {She stated that but maybe different words.} and how she has tried to get him to stop or whatever but she failed at it. Then it's like I am walking away from her where the Doctor is, presumably with the others. For some reason, I have a vision that the Master {John Simm form} is stabbing me. It doesn't actually happen , lmao because I had a weird dream previous of the Master {Delgado form} where it was mentioned that he held affection. Check That dream journal entry. Now, I don't know where we were or what was happening in the dream at this part but maybe that dream part ends. I think I may have woken up after this.

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Dream: Night of 9/24/2016 to Morning of 9/25/2016 // I had a dream last night to this morning that involved me The Protector along with The Master and The Rani and there were definitely other people. It seemed like to me that The Rani and I myself the Protector were friendish with each other, idk. For some reason in the dream, I imagined myself kissing the Master but it didn't actually happen then Me and The Rani are to the side and she is asking me "Why did you take your ring off?" and I am supposing she means the one to me and the Doctor. I didn't reply back to her but right now I am like My answer is I don't know?.. ask dream me? What ring?? {The elena gilbert daylight ring which showed up in my Doctor Who dreams as my ring, that one?} There was also an action fighting sequence with others. The Rani that showed up in my dream was Classic Who Rani . The Master was John Simm Master I think.. I as The Protector, my gallifrey title name, kept being mentioned.

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Dream I had: Night of 8/21/2016 to Morning of 8/22/2016 // I was in this house and it had at least 3 stories long in height and I was looking out in the oceanic background. In the backyard, there was woods and in the narrow hill in front of it with grass leading up to the woods, I could see the Tardis although it didn't, it had parts missing to it like the door handles and the push writing sign on it was in a different place. Currently aside from that, the waves from the ocean were crashing really violent and big so I was taking a risk as I went outside to get closer to the Tardis but when I do, it goes from really tall to really small like just a little bit taller than me and I am touching it much smaller than it should be. I think there was a woman there saying something about it or I was just by myself thinking.

Short I know but there you go, that was another dream I had.

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Dream I had #3: Night of 8/21/2016 to Morning of 8/22/2016 // I was in this pure white area of rooms and in the main one, I was there with the Third regeneration of the Doctor, a man and a woman who may have been his companions at the time. I think it was Sara Jane? and a man who I got a Jack Harkness vibe , wearing a dark blue coat , those light denim jeans and boots;  but it could have been someone else. The Master was also there in the regeneration look he had back then and I was talking with the third doctor. We were in danger trying to escape from the Master and we went through this portal and the Master found out what we were trying to do and he was trying to make the portal close. The Doctor and Sara managed to get through and as it was stopping to let the man companion through, I pushed him in so he could go through, letting myself get stuck as long as they were safe. So I was stuck with the Master and me and him were talking. He was threatening to kill me and I was pushing and challenging him to do it. He then opened this one room and there was a white cot table thing and Rose was there and she looked so emotionally dead. The Master was taunting me about her being there and I was crying because clearly I love and care about Rose. It got to a point where I am across the room outside of the one Rose is in and The Master was in there with her, I feel like he may have closed the door but then I am closed my eyes and ears as hard as I can when I hear the Master hurt and beat Rose so bad to the point I am hearing her cries and begs and screams for him to please stop and her cries of pain and I am doing the same, constantly saying please stop and all that and I am screaming because I am trying not to think of this and wanting it to stop. The next part of this dream , it's like it has stopped  and I am seeing Rose wrapped up in a grey jacket on the other side of the room, sitting over a blanket, emotionally dead more than before and I look to see a tuib of water bloody red signaling that the Master hurt her so bad that she bled. I am crying and affected by this and Rose just gives me a dead look. I remember when I was screaming for it to stop, I was hoping Rose and the Master would hear me so either the Master stopped because he felt like it or he stopped becauseh e heard me, I don't know. But as I am doing this or before, I am aside from where I was outside the room and to my left, the Master and someone I would think to be Sara Jane or some other dark haired woman saying to him that he would never really hurt me because if some other person had done it, that person would be ripped to pieces or hurt or something along those lines. Does this mean that.... The Master cares about me or?.. likes/loves? I don't know, this shocked me. Anyway, at some point after seeing Rose again like that, I come to the side of this other room where that same woman and the Master are by each other and they look over at me as I walk to them. I eye glance across them without really looking at them and what seems to be one of those step ladders {from my work in real life} is by them and I hold my hand around one of the handles and with tears in my eyes, I am saying, "Just let her go, please, that is all I ask. Please let her remember none of this that she suffered through." Now while all of this was going on, I figured the Doctor and Sara Jane and the other man would have noticed I didn't make it through the portal and they reacted however they did but this is all I remember from this dream. I was able to tell all of it because as soon as I woke up, I immediately wanted to write it down so I did not forget. For anything else apart of this dream, I don't remember so I think this dream was all of it. At some point in this dream, I feel like I mentioned me being the Protector to the Third Doctor with Sara and the Master was there I think at this point and then I had the Doctor's hand in mine and we were smiling at each other.

{The Protector for my Gallfreyan title like The Doctor's and The Master's.}

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Dream: Night of 8/16/2016 to morning of 8/17/2016 It was like I was in this school and it came to a point where I was stealing food out of this fridge of some sort and I look to my right and Christina Inks was there, who I had not thought of out my dreams in a long time but here she is, and she is laughing in amusement ,watching me as if I shouldn't be doing this and yet I am and she isn't stopping me. Then it's like were talking for a bit about how she has to go somewhere so were parting ways and now it is like I am outside the school and I see Christina or what looks to be here, in a car on the road, driving away with others cars and I feel it weird to me because I thought I saw her on something different before, something different that wasn't a car but at this point, I am outside the school and away from it and it's like I am with Amy and Rory and were talking about something I don't remember and were walking. What happens next is one of them is either on the phone or then someone else is by us, I think another female and then I ask them, "You know of the Doctor? Well about.. the Protector." Now outside this dream, I had already had previous dreams, a lot, of Doctor Who and Torchwood ones so these people already know me, but once I mention the Protector, it's like Amy and Rory know of it and by the way I ask and the look in my eyes, it's me telling them that it's me and they look at me strangely as they realize and then I am cupping Amy's face and resting my forehead against her's with my hand in her over her hair and face and I am saying, "Oh Amelia {or Amy} Pond, Couldn't you see that this whole time, I was right in front of you." I said something like that and when I pulled back from her, it's like me, her and Rory are walking into the Tardis after smiling and laughing together and having me back this way after remembering this part about me {This whole time they knew me, friends of the companions and love of the Doctor, did they all have their mind wiped except me, of what I was and what I am is a time lady from Gallifrey? OH SHIT!} {P.S. I think out of all the companions, based on my dreams, I am closest with Amy/Amelia Pond. I seem to get along great with other companions, but Amelia, it's like I am closest.} But anyway, Me and Amy and Rory are going back into the Tardis and the Doctor {In his 11th regeneration} is there, he is by the Tardis doors from the inside and he is looking at all of us and by how Amy and or Rory tell him about this, the Doctor basically does the same thing with the strange look but then he smiles as he remembers and then that beautiful smile of his , oh my lord, is on his face and then the Tardis doors close and it's like around the Tardis console, I can see the controls up close to know what each one is and does Not like up close with my face pressed right up against it but more like just looking at it and itself is up close. And as Amy and Rory either stand there, me and the Doctor are using the controls to get the Tardis going and it does, you know the Tardis noise and it will disappear how it does, but anyway, on the last control, one of my hands and the Doctor's hands touch it at the same time, we look at each other with a loving smile then we both use it at the same time and then.... with that part, the dream ends.

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this takes place after the previous dreams listed:

Dreams at some point this year or last year:: // basically in one dream part, there were these whole montage of life scenes that happened and im my Protector self and my husband theta aka the doctor was there and its like for the rest of the dream, it showed us growing old together. And I feel like at some point in from the dreams I had last night to this morning and wanting to jot this down EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD HAVE EARLIER , I feel like at one point, there was a dream involving my alliana self and Klaus and a Lucifer like dream from the show but of me and Lucifer. ok byeee.

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Dreams from 8/3/17 to 8/4/17 // I just want to really write these dreams down so I don't forget them, lol. Ok so anyway, it's like I am on this street or whatever and I am walking into this store, walking around it, checking stuff out and there is other people around and it's like I see barack Obama there and then me and him get to talking and he hugs me and I mention to him about how I tried to talk to him once and he ignored me. I remember him replying about it but I don't remember what he said bc im a dumbass. But I know it was him speaking of a reason why he didn't or him thinking he hadn't. Then it's like I am in this dark room and there is two people standing not far in front of me and two other people to the other side. For some reason, for the people not far in front, I feel like one was male and the other was female and the ones to the side were the Master in his John Simm form and the other people, I don't know who the person was but I feel like he was male too. It's like The Master is talking telling the people in front of me to stop talking or something, like he wants them to stop whatever they are doing because I can see his face turned towards them then he turns to me and his face is close to mine and were talking and its like his lips brush up against mine.

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2 dreams in the past few days 7/2/17 and 7/3/17 // the first one which involved the earlier days of the 1st or 2nd , it was like I was running out the back door of my house and it was pouring rain and I kept yelling "Doctor!" and running around. Perhaps, I was sad or in danger and I needed him. Point is, I kept running and yelling Doctor, hoping to find him but then its like in the wooded trees around my house, I see Bill and she tells me to follow her and such and so we do, going through the woods and its like the rain had stopped and I kept asking where Nardole was but she wasn't answering so I stopped asking and then its like were going into this haunted place and there is something we have to solve so maybe there is an alienistic danger and its only me and Bill, The Doctor and Nardole are not in sight and were handling t but then we leave and I am talking to Bill about her and the other companions based on how much time they have spent with the Doctor, can handle things theirself and due to me being the Protector, I can perfectly handle it myself but that we need Theta for this and at this point Bill looking understanding, was looking horrified as well. For some reason , I think Clara was here at this point but remember all I saw was Bill for through out this dream and then its like I am back in my house inside my bathroom but perhaps it is longer or wider inside my dream because the Doctor is there, in his 12th regeneration and me and him are talking and at some point he tells me how it stuns him or something along those lines and I ask him what and he tells me about my beautiful smile of mine. Also at some point earlier in the dreams but not one of the first, its like I am dangerously yet gracefully dancing and the Master, in his John Simm form, is watching by the hallway wall and I get close to him with my hands/arms are on either side of his face and he watches me in shock and I have a serious look on my face. Then the one most recent is like a mix of me interacting with these cute guys and there being arrogant ones and me dealing with them and then its like I am in this familiar city and I feel like I am being watched by the Doctor and then its like me and these people are climbing this huge green beanstalk like tree to the foggy sky but its dangerous and there is supposed to be something strange up above and some where around this point , its like I am in a city and its over flooding with water like that 2012 movie and I am holding this  child and this girl is aside me and were trying to swim to safety and at this point, its like I am in this dark house and the walls are a dark blue and I am at this part of the house near the side where the door goes into this closet except the door itself isn't there and its like I am talking to someone and I say the words, "Maybe because I love my husband? My Theta.", and its at this point where myself I  see myself as Crystal Reed so perhaps that is the regeneration that I am in and the Doctor is there in his 10th regeneration form and I am crying and he is wiping the tears on my face and the Master is there with his hand on my shoulder. Also in this dream parts during these later listed days, the Master is in his John Simm form too.

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Admin :

stay tuned for part 3 (:

[myheartbeginstorace]

Dear Jen,

Hey, so, this is what I’ve felt, how I’m feeling, what I’ve done. 

First, I am sorry if you feel I’ve been talking poorly about you behind your back. I have talked about the situation to other people because I’ve tried to understand it. I tried to understand what I did/didn’t do that forced Joey to need space from me and I just don’t right now and am not sure when, if ever, I will. There are tons of reasons why I want to know, it’s not a black and white situation for me at all, and it never has been and never will be. I’m sorry you and I’s friendship was impacted by this, but let me just explain what and why I’ve done what I’ve done and how you play into the situation.

I was in a constant state of anxiety during Joey and I’s friendship in February that he thought I was still interested and it really, really damaged my understanding of myself. I am already hyper aware of my actions being taken as forward rather than friendly, it’s something that has haunted every male interaction of mine since I was raped. “I asked for it” and every single thing I do around guys that I don’t feel 100% aren’t interested, like my dad or gay men, makes me worry I’m asking for it. So then having Joey around who correctly in the past believed I was interested, but after him hurting me was very much so NOT interested in, believed, to my best understanding, that I was STILL asking for it (post December) greatly, greatly stressed me. In that regard, I was relieved to have had space from Joey because it let me feel confident about all of my actions rather than question whether ever single action or comment I made would be taken as flirtatious or more than friendly. 

When Joey called me and said he needed space I got no context. The only things I was told was that “right now I need space and distance from our friendship. I’m saying this for me and my mental health. I think there have been misperceptions, I don’t think we are normal friends and I don’t think that is possible for us.” I asked questions: Did I do something? Am I the reason it’s not possible? Are you mis-perceving me? Were you actually mad/upset all of the times I checked in to see if things were okay? I was greeted with no answers. I left that conversation feeling hurt, attacked, and villainized. I had been working for months to get to a working friendship place with Joey regardless of my discomfort; and suddenly was told all of my efforts had been fruitless and that I was an issue. I can’t even begin to explain how challenging it is to be told by someone you had considered a friend that you are “not possible” to be friends with. I was extremely hurt, especially given that I was likely not going to be around for the foreseeable future and already saw the finish line for most of the friendships around me. I was petrified my last month would be filled with split-up behind the back hang outs and the happy, dynamic and full group I had been interacting with would be fragmented. I felt gaslighted. Someone who had hurt me and I was working to forgive and find ground with completely unrooted my reality by telling me I was the one doing the hurting when I was just trying to figure out a new normal. 

So for the first 2 weeks I just tried to understand and see how people treated me. I was distressed that others, you and Patrick specifically, knew that this space was happening because it highlighted me as “the problem.” I was, and am, scared that because of all of this I have been labeled as problematic when I feel I have been working through an incredibly challenging and nuanced issue (i.e. having someone hurt me personally but being forced to continually see them professionally and maintain that working relationship) that I was never going to handle perfectly. I was going to mess up, I did mess up, and when that happened I knew it would fuel the “problematic” image I had been given. That feeling in an environment I cannot remove myself from, because it is my workplace, was horrible. The Boston office to me currently feels extremely hostile because I don’t know who this has been spread to. So this is where our relationship comes in. I had a strong feeling that you were avoiding and hiding things from me. I obviously don’t know if that’s true, but I felt that when I talked to you, Pat, and Ruth you left to go see Joey when you said you were seeing a high school friend because of the fact you ignored my texts. You ignored a lot of my messages and I was confused why you would do that if it wasn’t because you were hanging out with Joey. That made me very sad that Joey and I’s problem was creating distance between us and upset me. That was my baseline fear for when we were getting ready to go to Stowe and then you and Axel bailed on me for the car. It was another ouch, you doesn’t care about spending time with/hanging out with me, you didn’t even say sorry for leaving me alone on a 3 hour drive with someone I didn’t know well. 

This sets the scene for what I will refer to as my breaking point with the situation. I had been trying so, so hard to not take things personally. To believe that Joey hadn’t talked to you about whatever was going on, that he hadn’t consulted you before he told me we needed space and you had agreed, that you didn’t think I was exclusively the problem, that you believed I could be a good friend. All of those things haunted me, but I didn’t know if they were true and when Axel made the banks comment at dinner during ski weekend and you pulled out your phone to text Joey, I cracked. I asked Axel if he was upset too that we had been excluded from things and that the group was fragmenting. I asked if I was impossible to be friends with and if Joey had said anything to him. I said all of these fears that were haunting me and that if they were true that you either agreed with Joey that I was a problem or were placating him about it which also hurts because it implies you’re okay with that image of me. I cried my way through it and it was embarrassing and I removed myself from the situation and went to the bar to sober up alone and focus on something else (sports) to calm down because I knew that I had just fulfilled my worst nightmare of “being the problem.” The stress had officially beat me and I let myself drunkenly attempt to explain my complex fears and anxieties about you and I’s friendship that I had been feeling since the break began and I did a horrible job of it. It was inarticulate, insensitive, and poorly executed. All of which are 100% on me and I own up to. I said it to Axel because I wanted to know if I was crazy. I was being told my perceptions of reality were not the same as everyone else’s and I was seeking for a gut check that I was wrong. After that, I attempted to try and clear things up with you re our convo in the ski lodge though I don’t think I was clear enough, and sent a long ass apology text to Axel about if I made him feel uncomfortable and explained what I just said to you here, I needed someone else to help me ground my understanding of my reality in regards to this situation and what you thought. I was wrong in how I did it and I should have gone to you directly instead, but I was scared and wanted reassurance before I did so. 

So that takes us to now. I’ve completely pulled back from the whole situation. I’m treading thin ice at work because of this whole issue with Joey potentially on the desk of HR (I really don’t want to/can’t talk about it, but I was issued a courtesy warning bc of my personal relationship with the person that heard the issue existed and for the sake of my job urged that he and I settle things). My job is hands down no question absolutely critically the most important thing in my life and I will do anything to protect it, including making myself look like a fool so others think things have chilled off and even if it means I lose all my friendships bc I don’t hang out my last 3 weeks. I have been trying to make things chill with you, being breezy and friendly but not suffocating or inquisitive or trying to hang out because I don’t know the answers to those questions/fears stated above. Those answers matter to me in regards to our friendship, but the situation is dead to me because of my job. I just need/want everyone to be cool these last 3 weeks so I can move to California and my job can feel safe again. I’m not mad at you. I’m insecure and sad about the state of our relationship, and would love to work through and repair things, but I just can’t do anything to jeopardize my job any more than has already happened and since our issues are ingrained in Joey and I’s problem I haven’t felt safe saying anything. Since I got the warning I have been full protection mode, happy-go-lucky co-worker attitude on, supportive friend, nothing outside of that. I would love to have our personal friendship back, but because we’re co-workers I’m not sure how is best or if it’s best to revitalize that. 

I want this final piece to just be a reassurance to you. None of this is because I think anything is going on between you and Joey. I am jealous that you are able to do what I am “impossible” of doing by maintaining a platonic male/female friendship with someone I couldn’t do that with, but it doesn’t run deeper than that. My feelings have no impact on who you choose to be friends with or how you are friends with them. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to show that to you or if that has been unclear. I’m worried you secretly hate me because you’re friends with someone who hates me. That’s my stressor, not the fact that either of you have found someone to be close friends with. I only want the best for both of you, whatever that is. And if you do hate me and never want to talk or hang out again and I never get to learn why, so be it. I’m deeply saddened, but accept my uselessness to change anything.

[deliverydefresas]

masters of the scene

I know this is super shocking bc this is probs the soonest (?) ive posted between parts lmao 

I did want to hurry things up before saturday, tho, so here we have it, friendsss. if you’ve missed a part: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

AU: Matteo Balsano is a famous singer who has been crushing on this one girl he saw every day behind a window many years ago, back when he first started recording his debut album and inspired his first big hit, “Princesa”. Luna Valente, professional Olympic skater turned actress is at a local (and very popular) talk show to promote her breakout movie. This is where it all starts.

BREAKING: OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST SAYS GOODBYE TO SKATING 

SOL BENSON, 24, recently known for her role as skating legend Marissa Mint in “SHATTERED WINGS”, announced this morning she wouldn’t return to training, or to any competition as a participant again. The announcement was posted on all her social media accounts, reading: “I can proudly say it’s time. Today, a new chapter in my life begins. I’m officially retiring from professional skating.”

Benson also took the chance to thanks her fans, saying: “The last ten years have been an unforgettable experience. A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to thank everyone who has been by my side helping, supporting, and cheering on me on this journey. I’ve done everything I could and wanted, and I hope you’re all as proud of me as I am of myself and the accomplishments we’ve done. I love you all very much.” The now ex-skater didn’t specify why she was leaving, but she affirmed it wasn’t anything but a personal choice: “I know many of you are shocked, or confused as to why I’m doing this now, that’s the reason I want to point out it’s not because of my health or a change of careers, as I know some might be thinking. Simply, this is me acknowledging my heart’s desires.”

Opinions and critics were instantaneous from the fans.

@ Sol_Benson: Thank you. pic.tw.com/3747829

          @ solnation: @ Sol_Benson please tell me this is an early april fools joke I’m crying

          @ sol_fan73937: @ Sol_Benson THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT, THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED, AND I JUST WANT TO SAY I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

          @ SolMiReina56: @ Sol_Benson on one hand I’m happy you’re doing this in your terms but on the other I just want to scream whAT THE FORK BENSON

Benson’s famous friends, however, showed nothing but support for her.

@ Simon_RB: today the sun goes down and the moon rises! So proud of you @ Sol_Benson

@ JimM: Working with you, one of the greatest skaters of our time, was a privilege. Being your friend, and share all these memories, is an honor. Your talent will shine bright like your soul no matter what ♥ @ Sol_Benson  

@ TheAmbarSmith: An absolute star. @ Sol_Benson

The news broke amid rumors of the skating star dating Italian heartthrob, Matteo Balsano, leading some fans and theorist that her new relationship was linked to her decision.

@ SolecitoDeMadrugada: I don’t wanna start sh*t here, folks, but Sol said she’s acknowledging ‘her heart’s desires’…. What if Balsano convinced her to quit????

@ SolBonita: If Matteo Balsano had anything to do with this I will cut that bitch in half just sayin’

@ soltteoforever: omg what if sol quit to form a duet with matteo???!!! #relationshipgoals

@ elbalsanito: if y’all really think MATTEO BALSANO would make his two minute long girlfriend quit her career for him y’all are batsh*t crazy don’t even look at me

So far Benson and her team have offered no comment to the critics, choosing silence over explanations, and only time will tell what she’s planned for herself next.

Is this really her end in skating? Will she approach a musical career with her beau? For more Sol Benson, click here!

He was a coward.

And an idiot.

An idiotic coward, really, because he hung up on her as fast as his brain and hand could do it. He could’ve lied, told her it was only a guessing. Or he could’ve come clean about his stalker-ish ways and freak her out. Or come clean and skip the stalker-ish ways. But, no, he’d hung up and now when she saw him she’d demand an explanation and probably give him crap for hanging up on her and then creating a lame excuse as to why.

Because so far, he could only come up with his phone dying in that exact moment and him forgetting to call her back. For two weeks.

Again, an idiotic coward he was.  

“Are you listening to me, Matteo?” he’d been lost in his thoughts again, unsurprisingly. It was something he’d been repeating lately, and usually blamed it on him ‘mentally’ writing his songs. Sometimes, it was the truth; but most of the time it was an excuse to get Gastón and his mom off his back. Today was Delfi’s turn at enduring this lost lapse. “Matteo! This is a serious matter, you dick!” he’d laugh at the insult if it weren’t for her aggravated look. He was used to the annoyed, yet knowing look of his friend and his birther, but Delfi looked nothing but stressed. “Can you focus on what I’m telling you?”

Matteo threw her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Delfi. I was just-”

“I don’t even want to hear it! I just need to listen to me and tell me what the fuck is happening between you and Sol Benson!” Well, shit. She was even cursing now.

“What do you mean?” he asked, genuinely confused now. Delfi knew better than anyone that he wasn’t dating, and even if he was, she never cared about it before. His manager sighed exasperated, throwing a newspaper across the table, pointing to him to read it.

The sole headline was enough to make his blood run cold.

“Read it till the end.”

“She’s retiring?” Matteo couldn’t believe it. A million questions came to his head as he read the article, ‘why’ being the loudest. “I just- what?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care about her, Matteo.” She sighed again, passing her fingers through her head. “What I do care about is that they’re mentioning you as the responsible.” Delfi raised her hand when he opened his mouth to protest. “I know you aren’t. And I’d like to think a woman like her is strong enough to not let an idiot like you convince her to give up her career. However, this is bad because you’ll be crossed as a chauvinistic pig, and could seriously hurt the image the older fans have of you. We need to counterattack, fast, and I need you to tell me just exactly how close you are to Sol.”

“What for?” He was getting defensive, and Delfi could tell so, too. She softened her look.

“This is not about you being a heartthrob, Matt. This is about people judging you wrongly-”

“Are you listening to yourself? They already judge me wrongly!” Delfi pursed her lips.

“Okay, bad wording. Still, we can’t let them think you’re that kind of person either.”

“Can’t you talk to Gastón about it? Maybe he can-”

“We agreed to break the contract with most of the magazines and the heartthrob stories, but you can’t just sue someone for linking you as someone’s boyfriend. If this was an article solely about you, we could make an agreement with them but since it’s about her-”

Matteo frowned. “Can’t you talk about it with her team? You said you knew them, maybe you can work on something together-” Now she looked offended.

“What do you think I’m doing? This is why I citied you here, we’re meeting them in ten minutes to discuss it! And first I needed your stupid ass to explain your situation to me so we could have some ground but all you’ve done is daydream about God knows what!”

“Wait, what?!” he looked down at his sweatpants, and the semi-sweated t-shirt he’d worn to go to gym before the meeting, and he just knew his hair was a dishevel mess. He hadn’t even bothered with his contacts, so his glasses were stuck on his head unless he wanted to be as blind as a mole. He’d thought he’d only be meeting Delfi, and now- “she’s not coming, is she?”

“Who is ‘she’?” Delfi air-quoted, not getting why he was getting freaked out.

“Luna – Sol, she isn’t coming, right?”

Delfi scoffed. “Of course, she is! This is all about her, why wouldn’t she be here?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he almost whined, jumping out of his chair to get his gym bag, and spray the shit out of his deodorant on his body. He didn’t have any hair gel, so his hair had to stay the same. He was really regretting not taking the time to fully showering before coming.

“Oh, so now you care about how you look at meetings?” He didn’t answer her, still busy with his gym bag. He was sure he had mints buried somewhere. “I take that you like this girl?” Matteo said nothing, but nodded the slightest. “I know the rumors aren’t true right now, but I really need you to tell me if you think they will. The earliest Gastón and I can come up with counterattacks to protect your privacy and hers, the better. Especially since her contract with her team will drop soon.” Delfi asked, her tone a lot softer and less teasing. She’d taken his wishes seriously, and he was very grateful about it. He was in good hands if shit ever hit the fan.

Matteo dropped his bag, and sighed a quiet ‘yes’. And then turned to her, louder this time, “I don’t want anything hurtful, insulting or degrading to be said about her. The less she’s mentioned, the better. If it means we must re-sign with them, and have them write me off as a playboy, then so be it. But not a bad word about her, Delfi.”  

She smiled, her words comforting him a little. “If it’s in my hands both of you will be protected. Now, go tame your hair before your little star runs away from seeing it and turns into stone, medusa-boy.”

She was this close to picking up her phone.

The urge of checking her phone was eating her up but Luna was trying her best to avoid any type of interaction with social media in the last two nights, but it was proving to be harder than she imagined. After the news were out in the open she’d turned everything off; her phone, laptop, and tablet, burying them deep in one of Nina’s photography drawers so she wouldn’t be tempted to read her fan’s comments, or the articles magazines and newspapers were publishing on the web.

When her team called her early in the morning for a meeting, though, she knew something else had happened. They’d already discussed everything related to her retirement, and weren’t meant for another meeting for another three weeks, when she’d sign the remaining papers to break most of her commitments and contracts, with only the bigger ones left until she could find another lawyer outside of her management. Not that she didn’t trust them, but Mariano was more a “making business only” instead of “breaking business” type of lawyer.

“Still no news from Tamara?” She asked Nina beside her. Nina shook her head.

“She said she’d be meeting us there, to ask for Alzamendi and to not talk until Mariano and she were present.”

“Alzamendi?” She repeated, “does that sound familiar to you?”

“I think I might have an idea.” Nina admitted. Luna looked expectantly at her, urging her to tell her. “Pedro’s girlfriend, Delfina Alzamendi, is a head manager here.”

She frowned. “But she’s in the entertainment business, not in sports. Why would she cite us here?” Her eyes widened, “you don’t think…”

Nina shook her head rapidly. “No, no, no. Tamara’s better than that, she knows you don’t want to enter acting, she wouldn’t do that to you. I was thinking more that maybe one of Delfina’s clients could be involved.”

“But why would Ámbar contact me vía my manager? She has our house number, and Simón’s and yours.” Nina looked at her funny, confusing her. “What?”

“I’m not talking about Ámbar, L. I think this is about Matteo.”

His name made her scowl. She still hadn’t forgiven him for hanging up on her without an explanation, or a goodbye, and the guy had sent her to voice mail after she tried calling him back.

“He has my number too.” Not that he cared to use it again. Boys were stupid.

By now Nina looked amused, but grimaced after a moment. “You haven’t seen it, have you?”

“Seen what?”

Nina took her phone out of her purse, typed in her code and opened her phone’s browser. She was about to protest when she saw her type ‘sol benson matteo balsano’, but was quietened when Nina clicked on an article about Matteo being the reason she was retiring from skating.

“This. It started the morning you posted the news on Twitter and a fan replied saying you meant Matteo when you said you were following your heart. I think that’s why Delfina wants to talk to you and Tamara, because Matteo wasn’t left in the best position. People are crossing him as a controlling chauvinist.”

Luna was feeling dizzy. She had meant for the news to affect her only, but now she was dragging Matteo too. “People are saying this?”

“Mostly your fans, and uninvited activists, but yes.”

“He must hate me now, Nina.” She groaned, hiding her face with her hands. By now they were almost by the entrance desk, and a few of the people there stared her way.

“He couldn’t even if he tried, Luna, don’t worry.” Her friend cooed, squeezing her hand in comfort.

“His manager contacted mine, Nina. People don’t do that unless they’re strangers or you hate the other person.”

“I think you’re exaggerating a bit.”

“He at least has to be mad. If anyone said I’m the reason they’re quitting their career I’d be too.”

“Maybe, but not mad at you. The people saying this are mostly gossipers and fans you have no control over, Luna, don’t worry.” She nodded a couple times, trying to calm herself and the unnecessary guilt she was feeling in that moment.

When she finally felt calm enough, she dragged her feet to the lady behind the desk, asking her politely where she was supposed to go. The lady’s eyes shone with recognition, before asking her who she was meeting with; as soon as she said ‘Alzamendi’, the woman’s grin could have rivaled the Cheshire cat.

“Miss Alzamendi and Mr. Balsano are waiting in room 7. Go straight that hallway and turn left on the first corner, it should be easy to spot it, the numbers are big enough; they’re still waiting for Mr. Périda, and your team, though. Is there anything I can get you both to drink? We have black coffee – black, decaf, with milk, vanilla latte and moka, tea – chamomile, green, lemon ginger and berry sangria, hot chocolate – sweet, bitter, Spanish, Mexican, white and raw, lemonades – strawberry, mango and mint, sodas-”

Luna blinked a couple times, surprised that a) they had so many options and b) they made their receptionist learn all of them.

“Uh, do you have water?” Nina asked, interrupting the woman before she went on to list all their available sodas. The receptionist shut up immediately, pursing her lips at Nina for a second before nodding, then she looked at her, expectantly.

“A Mexican hot chocolate would be nice, thank you.”

“Anything to eat? We have a couple of restaurants delivered to us, if you’re hungry.” Before she could refuse, Tamara’s voice was heard behind them.

“Luna!” She smiled politely at her manager, nodding in greeting to Mariano. “I’ll have a latte and the sir will have black coffee, no sugar, please.” The older woman addressed the receptionist, who simply wrote it down on a little notepad. Tamara didn’t bother to thank her before she was dragging Luna – and Nina, who was grabbing her hand- towards the hallway the lady had pointed out before. “Okay, so; Matteo Balsano’s manager called me yesterday and requested to have a meeting as soon as we possibly could, that’s why I called you last minute, sorry. Are you aware of the rumors going around of you two?” Luna begrudgingly nodded, “good, I don’t have to explain it, then. Alzamendi didn’t specify why she was requesting us, but my bet is on the news hurting Balsano’s image of the perfect guy.”

“That’s what Nina told me, too.” Tamara’s eyes flickered to Nina’s.

“Good.” That’s all she said before going back to explaining. “More likely than not, they’re pissed. It could be the boy, it could be his manager, it could be the label. Or a mix of all. We already broke all magazine deals, so there’s not much we can offer to clean his name. We’re betting on his team acting up and choosing to clean it up themselves, while praying they don’t leave you dirty at all. Mariano can make up an agreement with his lawyer to even out and make it fair for both.”

“Do you think Matteo’s capable of going as far as dirtying up Luna’s name?” She could tell Nina was worried, and already feeling protective of her. Tamara shook her head.

“He doesn’t strike me as the type, but we need to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.” She told them honestly, finally stopped walking in front of a door. Before they entered, though, she looked at Luna straight on. “Listen, munchkin, when you enter that door you need to forget whatever relationship you have with the guy.” She was about to protest, but Tamara shook her head. “Just until we know where we stand. And who we stand against, okay?” She merely nodded. “Good. Are we ready?”

Matteo was sure those had been the longest – yet quickest, because he spent most of them rushing to make himself more presentable- ten minutes of his life.

The door opened, and the corner of his mouth went up at the knowing he’d see her in seconds. When she didn’t acknowledge him, the smile fell. When she sat down on one of the chairs and kept her eyes on the table, he frowned.

Was she mad at him, at the situation they were in? Was she sad? What if it hadn’t been her decision? Could that be why she looked so… not herself?

He was about to go to her when Delfi stopped him. Matteo looked at her, questioning why she’d done it, but she sent him a look that said ‘quiet’.  

“Delfina,” the woman – who was part of Luna’s team, if his guess was correct- greeted his manager, a tight smile on her face. Then she turned to him. “Mr. Balsano, nice to meet you.”

Delfi sent her a polite smile. “Tamara, Mariano, it’s always nice to see you again.” He could’ve sworn he heard the man say, ‘is it?’ under his breath. “Miss Benson, Miss Simonetti, long time no see.” Wait, she knew them?

Luna looked up from the table, throwing a quick ‘hello’ to her; her eyes flickering for the shortest time to his face, before turning down again. His frown deepened as Nina’s friend answered Delfi’s greeting, more enthusiast. “Hi, Delfi, it’s good to see you again, too. I wish it were under, uh, better circumstances, though.”

He could tell Delfina was amused at her words, if her mouth twitch was any indication. “Straight to the point, huh? Sadly, we’re waiting for Matteo’s lawyer to get here first.”

“Why isn’t he here yet?” the man asked rudely, disdain clear as water on his face. Matteo felt attacked by his tone, and jumped at Gaston’s defense.

“I’m not his only client, sorry not all of us can afford to have a clear schedule twenty-four-seven.”

Mariano raised his brows. “Ah, yes, you’re right. Real jobs keep you busy. My bad.”

Matteo scowled at him. “How would you know? You’re jobless now that your client is quitting her not so ‘real’ job, no?”

“Matteo.” Delfina warned him in a hiss, pinching his arm to keep him quiet. He noticed Luna’s blank look turning into a small grimace.

Mariano was about to retort when Luna’s manager grabbed his arm. “Don’t.” Then she turned to Delfi, “I think’s it’s for the better to start discussing the elephant in the room, sweetheart. You can always update your lawyer when he comes.”

Delfi pursed her lips at the nickname, but stood up with a nod. “Fine. I don’t think I have to explain why we’re here exactly.”

“You understand this is not Miss Benson’s fault, right? This was a matter taken out of context by their fans and the media.” The man’s tone wasn’t exactly condescending, but even Matteo felt like he was trying to teach Delfi how to do her job.

Still, Delfi remained as calm as she could. “We do, as I’m sure you understand your client’s choices shouldn’t taint my client’s image, no?”

“He’s as tainted as you can get them. Aren’t ‘playboy’, ‘heartthrob’, and ‘ladies man’ nice ways of saying man-whore?” Matteo heard small gasps around him, but he was too shocked at the insult to notice whose gasps were from. Mariano looked smug. “If anything, he is the reason they assume conclusions. If your client didn’t have the image he has, our client wouldn’t have linked to him in the first place.”

That was enough for his friend to snap. “If your client had been properly trained to do interviews without making a mess we wouldn’t be in this situation at all!”

“Those articles had died down until both your clients chose to approach ours at a public event knowing there would be photographers all over the place! How’s that for trained?”

“Enough, Mariano!” His partner shut him up. The woman had the decency of looking ashamed. Delfi and him, though? They were pissed. “I’m really sorry, guys. This is not at all what we came here for and I apologize for my-”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Tamara.” Delfi interrupted her, “he does.”

Mariano pursed his lips, but spit out the apology anyway. “I’m sorry for the way I behaved just now.” Matteo clenched his jaw, moving his gaze to Luna, who looked mad, too. At whom, though, he didn’t know.

“As you know, all our news deals are broken. We have no control, or stance to negotiate with them anymore. So-”

“So, you want us to fix it for you? Is that it? Why should we, after the stunt your team just pulled?” Matteo almost growled, his anger rolling in waves through his body.

Tamara grimaced. “I was hoping we could make an agreement. I know we-” she pointed to Mariano and herself, “-haven’t behaved as we should. But this isn’t about us only.” She looked at Luna, whose frown and pursed lips were more evident now than before.

At last, she fixated her eyes on his.

“I’m not asking you to do anything for me.”

Matteo sighed out, “Luna-”

“No. Listen, if your image-” she scowled at the word, “- is so important to you I can ask Jazmín or someone else to interview me and I’ll tell them the truth.” Matteo almost choked up. Where was she getting at?

“The truth?” Delfi repeated, expectant.

Luna’s friend looked worried, now. “Lu- Sol, please-”

She looked at him, her eyes not wavering for a moment. “Y’know, that you’re not the reason of my decision. I’m sure your fans will be shocked to hear you’re not the center of my universe.”

“Luna, plea-” Nina tried to gain her attention, but she still didn’t move her gaze from him.

“And I’m sure they’ll be glad to know we’re not dating, much less friends.”

Had he been punched? He felt himself getting his breath knocked out of him. He barely heard her friend warning her. “Luna, stop. This isn’t you talking.”  

“No, let her talk.” Matteo was proud he didn’t sound as hurt as he was feeling.

“Oh, so you’re talking to me now?” her sarcasm was throwing him off. Why was she mad about him not talking to her when she basically ignored him too? “Or do I have to wait another two weeks for you to answer me again?” Oh.

Oh.

“You’re mad abou-”

“Dude, no.” Was that…? When had Gastón arrived that he didn’t even notice? He felt his friend squeeze his shoulder, before palming it a couple times. “Don’t answer that, you’ll never win that argument.” He whispered, shaking his head in Luna’s direction. Then he turned to everyone in the room. “So, what did I miss?”

[ryodan]

SasuNaru and the pinhole : part 2

This comes full circle in the Gara fight when Sasukes survivor guilt was shown on full display, with him stating he believes the only reason Itachi let him live was to be an avenger. Sakura comes in to take his attack and

1 thing I’d like to highlight, Sasuke throwing himself in front of them earlier was because he cared and it’s unlike his moral standard..and his last words would have been this

But to willingly and consciously give up his revenge because the pain of losing someone dear is a great deal of character development and refutes any argument that he did not care about Sakura. Not to say he would not have done the same for Naruto, but Kishimoto chose her for a reason.

Naruto sees this and remembers Kakashis and Hakus quote about fighting for the people you love making you stronger and giving you a stronger resolve and he charges up on chakra

‘Sakura-chan wa orega mamoru!’

‘I’ll protect Sakura!’

And he fights Gara, and teaches him about the pain of suffering on your own, shouldering pain with your friends and protecting them..the whole concept behind the series

Itachi happens and ofc you know sasuke is conflicted, his resolve is awakened

Now, sasukes inferiority complex dates back to his childhood, and that is why he compares Itachi to Naruto, both of whom are people who had a strength sasuke thought was unattainable to him

His petty side did show throughout a lot of the series

It was also shown on multiple occasions. Sasuke did not like Naruto catching up to him because it was another Itachi situation. Additionally Itachi dug salt into the wound by saying things like you are weak and I am not interested in you. The fact that he was interested in Naruto, who was getting stronger than him made his petty rise to like 5000 degrees, I don’t think anything that follows, or a lot of their ‘rivalry’ in part actually is justified. Their dynamic through this lens but not a single non sns fan ive met irl wasn’t annoyed by narutos constant bitching and sasukes constant petty side.

People also like to forget this happened

When he was practicing he was thinking that he was completely useless in a situation where somebody he cared about a lot was in grave danger,  which again correlates to his past. This is also him feeling inferior to Naruto but Kishimoto put the smile thing intentionally, in fact he put in there when he woke up again indicating it was a mix of a little of things making him feel inferior.

Since this is a post debunking most sns arguments ive ever been told to make ship this ship, I see people saying Sasuke cared more about Naruto than Itachi when he heard he was back. And while of course he did care a great deal, his best friend no matter how annoying their relationship is, is being targeted by the person who murdered his family in cold blood, of course he would not let shit like that happen again..but I feel like if anyone was viewing these scenes with an sns lens on it annoys me. The person who massacred a clan and made a child feel like he was not good enough to be slaughtered and that his own reason of living is to carry the moral burden of avenging his clan (no matter how great itachi is, that was the pov at the time for sasuke) was in town, sasuke was having flash backs all the way there and it was heavily sasuke x itachi related, in the worst of ways because of the torture. Naruto was like???? My friend??? Good, of course he’d be like that but the fact that some shippers see this arc as an sns arc pisses me off bc sasuke is not there to wank your fav as so many shippers in general see him..but this scene in particular makes me uncomfortable to think that people view the mental torture of this kid as a romantic arc bc he thought about his friends safety. Also, Naruto is a great friend I just wanted to say that tbh.  This scene is also interpreted wrong

This is the first time Naruto realizes he should get over Sakura, and again is a scene that refutes any ‘naruto was the only one who mattered in team 7’..because of all Team 7 mattered.’she hugged him shes selfish’ ah nah youre just reading the scene out of your ass if you say so imo

‘naruto went crazy when sasuke was hurt so it means he love sasuke’

Yes, ofc he does. He’s his best friend. It’s not romantic tho

To clarify : I don’t know id consider him to be in love with sakura? I always thougth it was a crush and he seemed to get over it so good on him, but the databook and certain chapters state otherwise? I don’t see at all imo but maybe it’s bc I am biased anti NS

Anywho, moving on to a scene that reprsents why I cant be fucked to pretend this relationship is healthy or that I can condone on it on a romantic level no matter how much I love the bond between them

‘he woke up from trauma so,,,,’ if he was acting dick-y I’d understand. He’s 12 so I will defend him because a childs brain can barely handle any of what hes been through (I mean gaara) but he straight up almost killed Naruto for inferiority complex reasons

Yeesh. What he actually says is めざわり, mezawari..the term the village described Naruto with all of his lonely childhood. Naruto jumps right back and says ‘you’re still weak’ after he witnessed the entire Itachi situation knowing full well that’s not something he should say right now. The went full out on each other knowing the other could die bc theyre petty? Sasuke goaded Naruto on so much the need to prove himself made him charge at him with full intensity to kill him. That’s a no from me. I mean that apple plate scene was crappy too, but in it’s intensity and relative to the situation I’m willing to let it :/ me

I understand the trauma aspect, but I don’t justify picking a death match with your friend bc they are getting better than you.

They explain my stance better than I can

Kakashi gets shit sometimes for this scene but I’d like to remind you that the Uchiha massacre was only a political problem in the series after the truth was revealed. Telling Sasuke to just let it go and share his pain instead was not the right way to go about it and Kakashi acknowledged that himself, it was not fair to the situation at hand but he did get through to him, so much so that sasuke went from shouting murderous statements to this, because Kakashi does understand the pain and guilt you feel when your loved ones are dead while you were helpless to help. Revenge is unhealthy…its even more unhealthy when it makes you take it out on people you love and end up hurting yourself more. I hear people say Kakashi and sakura are selfish for relating the situation to themselves, but so did Naruto and so would anyone. No one is that mother Theresa to not see situations as 2 sided.

To go even further into this, there is a thing I see that’s like Naruto was the only one who understood him? Naruto was the only one who didn’t. In fact, self admitted it himself. He was very naïve and did not see the situation through sasukes point of view for a long time

I give Sakura credit on this tbh

After the FOD  Sakura was imo, the most in tune with sasuke

Blah Blah blah confession happens, certain people call her selfish but she never made the revenge aspect about her

Or people who say she didn’t understand his resolve, or that she was doing it bc she just wants him to stay is dumb. Both naruto and sakura did it for both sasuke and bc they want him to stay. They forget she said ‘are you going to isolate yourself again’ meaning no, she understood a lot of his psychological reasoning than she is given credit for.

Idk how this is selfish, or kakashi saying I lost people and learned revenge isn’t healthy is, when everyone is doing it for his benefit.  I think it’s the mistranslation. Some people also think she has never attempted to understand where he is coming from better.

Or people who say its unhealthy bc ‘even if he cared, she didn’t know’ she did before and after

The first battle in the final valley only happened when Naruto jumped sasuke and punched him, Sasuke wouldn’t have gone as low as killing someone unprovoked..had it been Sakura he would have also obtained mangekyo.

He did power up using the pain he felt by the loss of their bonds, in fact the only time he ever thinks of them positively is them as a unit, he said it himself he thinks of them as family

That’s when sasuke almost killed Naruto to obtain mangekyo. Now, let me say another misconception. Sasuke doesn’t kill Naruto bc he is the person closest or dearest to him, that was and consistently remained to be his family. Itachi said kill your best friend the term he used was もっとも and tomo

Not 親友 shinyu 友達,友人 so many words that can indicate dearest person but that wasn’t chosen, instead that was.

 The curse of hatred activates when losing a person very dear, and experiencing self hatred because you couldn’t do anything, Like sasuke when he awakened sharingan in the night of the massacre. To further it to mangekyo the common trope among uchihas was to kill your best friend, to power it up you experience more emotional pain, to make it permanent you implant another uchihas eye to your own and that erases the risk of blindness. All of this ofc means more emotional pain, and no one wants to rebuke narutos status as sasukes best friend their bond is tight bc of the loneliness they know. But none of team 7 are sasukes dearest atm, its his family, his resolve to leave to avenge his family is strong only furthered by Itachis manipulation and his curse of hatred making him feel even more survivors guilt. The main source of his power ups aside from kagatsuchi have always been his family, the love he had for them caused him the most emotional suffering. I recommend these videos they explain it better than I do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkbXG_USxX4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KhHE75GGoo&t=339s

There is ofc the emotional pain of killing a best friend , and its emotional pain of loss and regret that activates mangekyo anyways so when he gets a huge dose of it with Obito he awakens it and rapidly descends into the curse of hatred

Naruto wants to bring sasuke back bc he doesn’t want to see his friend hurt himself, and bc he wants his friend around coolio he even states sasuke is like a brother to him

Again confirming the #nohomo

This is where the fight gets problematic, ‘sasuke was killing naruto bc hes his dearest person’ is easily refutable but whats not refutable is that he wasnt thinking that for a big part of their fight, which is why kishimoto could never get away with any sort of romantic context on this ship. People talk a lot about heteronormativity when it comes to SNS but this is a gross representation of a gay ship, I’ve had that told to me by multiple gay male friends

Yeesh. And the smile is fucking over kill. Mind you, Naruto also has 0 explanation for this behavior so hes just getting beaten up by his friend who is saying ‘you being my best friend is all more the reason to kill you.’  

Thing Id like to add one that, and ill come to again..people say  naruto was the person who understood sasuke the most.. except that was towards the end..and he fully understood him by their final battle. If you remember me saying their bond is a concentration of the series themes, then this is not a surprise. You don’t need to know someones gut, nor experience what they experienced to share or understand their pain. As naruto learns more and more by every arc and experience, he understands sasuke more and by the end tries to communicate what he learned to him. The fact that it can only be Naruto was alluded to by Kakashi when he mentioned ‘the cycle that only ends by death’, then by pain mentioning the world being a cycle of hate, then by the prophecy and by the land of iron arc when Karin noticed sasuke and narutos double chakras and Naruto confirmed he is not fighting sasuke only in order to protect him when kiba accused him, hes the only one who can save sasuke and break the cycle. That’s why they communicate only through their fists, they are literally destined to it as they have indra and ashuras chakra within them.

This, does not mean Kakashi and Sakura did not understand sasuke. They got his motivations way more than Naruto did. 

After the fight sasuke refuses to kill Naruto because he refuses to be like Itachi, confirmed himself in the first reunion

Another sort of annoying thing the sns fandom does is devalue sakuras hard work, Naruto trained to get stronger, beat the akatsuki and bring sasuke back. Sakura trained to protect her  friends, better herself and bring sasuke back. Theres this stigma that because she ended up with a lot of peoples want to be fictional boyfriend that she must be selfish..naruto was willing to die with him!11!! K.

‘just because she had the resolve doesn’t mean anything bc she didn’t do it’ No, but she did what she could to the best of her abilities, however its established the only one who can fight him is Naruto over and over again. If it were her trying, itd be a one sided massacre on his side, and talk no jutsu doesn’t work on him…the only way to break the damn cycle is the child of prophecy, although she was still able to affect him with just words. That’s why shes the only one he ever outwardly thanked , he appreciates her effort way more than some fans give her credit for.

[nooowestayandgetcaught]

i wanna preface this by saying: 

no, i don’t think you shouldn’t ship what you want. no, you shouldn’t be generalized for what you ship. this is just a critical analysis on the (admittedly, unsurprising) phenomena i witnessed for betty&jughead ship

it really is a “phenomena” to me because there was no telltale indication that they had romantic interest in each other that pre-dates the 1st kiss

(i’ll get back to that later on in this)

but... it’s canon? why are you picking on this one?

i’m genuinely not trying to

i was up for anything in this show tbh as long as it wasn’t the damn love triangle. i didn't come into this show with any preconceived expectations other than PRAYING for no love triangle bullshit

why? 

because i never encountered spoilers during this whole time

here’s the kicker: i think the leaks were on purpose. because what happened? it planted the idea (whether or not you were for or against betty&jughead) that the ship would be inevitable, and forced people to visualize it a certain way

ahead of time

doing this attempted to make up for the lack of romantic development

it’s shady and manipulative on the cw’s part, if that’s the case

but then again: what american television markets on is the safety net of heteronormativity. they pull in their lgbt+ audience with “baiting” (the beronica kiss in the first episode, the jarchie bathroom scene in the promos), but to ensure the homophobes won’t throw a fit, they put together a seemingly “straight” couple as the endgame or imply it to be it

this isn’t just the cw. this is a formula used in other american television programs as well. we are getting better, but it still exists

let’s try to as much as we can and look objectively at every betty&jughead scene before that 1st kiss (and by objectively, i mean this is coming from the perspective of someone who wasn’t spoiled beforehand) 

so what happens?

episode 2: 

- archie and jughead show up at pop’s while betty and veronica are together. archie stares at the girls, and he does this long enough and obviously enough, until jughead notices him staring. betty offers the invitation for them to the join the girls. archie does not respond and continues staring (arguably longingly) so jughead takes it upon himself to answer for archie and himself - since this outing with the boys includes the both of them. he introduces himself to veronica and bypasses her handshake, leaping over the back of the booth seat and sitting down beside her. all four of them enjoy hanging out, but seemingly nothing telltale about betty & jughead concerning interactions

pretty self-explanatory stuff 

episode 3:

- betty calls jughead over one of the classrooms and says he is doing a story about jason’s murder and makes a case by saying the whole thing started as a series of artciles. piecing that together, she asks if he would join the school newspaper. he refuses initially, and when she pushes for it, he asks if he’ll be given creative freedom. he’s not given the exact response he wants “i’ll help, and i’ll edit, and suggest” which jughead narrows his eyes and doesn’t look convinced, but he is eventually persuaded and does with both of them smiling

a lot of their interaction in this is playfully done, due to their already established friendship - jughead messing with the magnifying glass, his nose-wipe, betty’s use of ‘juggy’ and her body language being extremely loose and comfortable

but nothing inherently romantic is being shown. it appears to be a pleasant but platonic scene between them 

- the last scene of betty & jughead together includes dilton. exactly nothing is said between them and the focus is on primarily on dilton talking

episode 4:

- the pop’s scene with jughead ranting about losing his job/the twilight drive-in getting shut down. he’s clearly angry and looks to betty occasionally for a reaction, and she says nothing and looks uncomfortable/disinterested the whole time. they’re sitting very close to each other in the small booth. jug calls her ‘bets’ at one point. betty sees archie with ms. grundy and jughead tries to grab her sweater to prevent her from talking to archie, seeming to panic since he knows about archie & ms. grundy AND knows betty knows about ms. grundy’s car being a sweetriver on the 4th of july 

the only time they seem to warm up to each other is when betty suggests playing “rebel without a cause” (which is actually a q-coded movie itself) and jughead smiles at her while she smiles back, and they laugh quietly. 

an inside joke? maybe she just knows he likes the movie? he decides to play it that night after all. so as friends of course she would know what movies jughead would like. we can only assume this. 

again, no romantic indications of anything happening here

episode 5:

- jughead, kevin, and betty are discussing jason’s murder case. trev shows up, asking betty if they were still hanging out at pop’s tomorrow. betty tries (and fails) to explain what trev interrupted, and jughead says plainly it’s their murder board. betty calls her and trev’s meeting a “date” - it elicits a reaction from kevin and jughead with both of them looking surprised. they call her out on saying it was a “date” and jughead’s expressions are contemplative and his tone is blunt, but still somewhat surprised and processing what he heard.

i’ve heard people say “he’s jealous” in this scene but i’m no sure where they are picking that out? surprise is not jealousy. thinking out what you just heard is not jealousy. his body language hasn’t changed since the start of the scene.

- betty and jughead discuss the news of polly’s suicide attempt. he apologizes to her and calls that heavy. jughead suggests they go into jason’s room to figure out what the actual story is of why jason was running. 

pretty ordinary stuff. the focus is on their next plan in the investigation.

- betty’s bedroom scene where she finishes up dressing for the funeral. jughead comes into the scene dressed up fairly nicely for the funeral. betty looks at him and smiles, clearly approving but say nothing. jughead says it’s the best he can do but smiles and looks away.

it’s pretty soft and adorable of a moment with jughead looking embarrassed by betty smiling, but it’s still not romantically charged.

- they enter jason’s bedroom, looking for something to help their investigation and get scared by jason’s grandmother inside the room they never noticed. jughead stands behind betty and grabs her shoulder. he places a hand between himself and betty who is close the intimidating/scary figure of the old lady.

i’ve seen the argument done of “jughead was protecting her” in this scene and honestly that’s not the case if you are reading body language. protecting her would have meant putting himself between betty and the threat. grabbing her shoulder/standing behind her looks more like he’s using her for a block against the threat/using her as a human meat shield. it’s made even worse by the fact he uses his hand to ‘guide’ betty closer to the scary thing while he stays back.

- the last scene where betty and jughead discuss betty’s parents are lying. jughead thinks they’re lying more. he writes out ‘the coopers’ are possible suspects, glancing at betty and passing it to her to pin on the murder board. jughead says they need to talk to polly.

nothing out of the ordinary again. the focus is on the investigation.

episode 6:

- jughead is invited over her breakfast by betty. betty does this bc alice cooper would be interested in keeping an eye on jughead. betty uses that opportunity to have jughead as a distraction (going to the bathroom) so she can go through her mom’s things and take photos on her mobile. 

self-explanatory

- by looking at alice’s things, betty and jughead find the place polly is being kept at by looking it up on one of the school computers.

again, self-explanatory 

- during lunch, archie asks what they’re up to and if they need help. both of them shut him down - betty uses archie’s practice as a way to change the subject; jughead points out that it’s a stealth mission. at one point, jughead makes eye contact with betty, indicating he would like to take a piece of her food and she indicates it’s okay and he takes something we don’t see.

as a tactical move, it was smart to shut archie down. involving more people puts their investigation at risk. nothing romantic about that. 

- they get on a bus to visit the facility polly is at. they clearly appear intimidated by how it looks, and jughead attempts to make a joke about it. betty is near tears but she straightens her ponytail and walks towards it. betty gets checked in but jughead is asked to be left behind. betty eventually gets shut inside a room until alice shows up, grabbing her hand and intending to take her home. jughead follows. polly makes a scene about alice not telling her about jason. betty hugs her. jughead tries to move forward, because he sees betty move forward, and gets shoved back by one of the staff. 

focus is on the investigation, but also at one point, betty’s safety. jughead hasn’t been scared into a reaction - which would be to protect himself first - so he acts by wanting to get closer to his friend and protect her. 

-jughead gets a ladder, calls her juliet, climbs through betty’s window, makes a ‘the yellow wallpaper’ joking reference, she calls her parents crazy, jughead calls all parents crazy, betty suggests maybe polly was crazy, or that she is

-jughead uses a very soft voice and touches betty’s shoulder, tells her "we’re all crazy” and that they’re not their parents 

this is the point where something felt off. the dialogue here felt stilted and didn’t make sense? jughead is trying to reassure her shes not like her parents, because betty is in distress and doesn’t need to hear that and yet.... he says all parents are crazy and that they’re (parents+betty+jughead) all crazy

... but yet he says she’s not like her parents?

the logic doesnt come together.

“juliet” IS a clearly romantic reference, which if you have been following this analysis this long, should actually surprise you and make you think “how?”

-betty smiles and then jughead looks like he wants to say something, and betty repeatedly asks “what?” before he takes hold of her face and kisses her

from there, i was lost. i felt like i was missing something essential. and then it hit me later that i was. the romantic development is what i was missing

where was it? was it the lack of romantic indications this far in, or was i supposed to let heteronormativity decide for me that this was inevitable?

or were the leaks supposed to guide me to believably like it did other people?

either way that’s why i feel lost

i actually think it's a good thing i wasn’t spoiled bc i feel like i had a more objective standing on how relationships were gonna be developed 

bc watching what is happening on screen with no idea what to expect and forming conclusions based on real time events is what keeps the experience​ objective and that’s why, to me, when that kiss happened i had nothing to back up why - no indicators, no obvious romantic chemistry

(that wasn’t possibly heteronormativity being pushed at us)

of course you can love them and ship it - you’ve got show-canon now to back you up! the point of this whole thing is to explain that when someone goes “heteronormativity and possibly manipulated events created this” that thing explains why someone ends up saying this