#ncaa ice hockey
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The Evolution of Cale Makar's Voice
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elana’s master list
🌞 - smut
🪻- fluff
Paige Bueckers
parents house 🌞
court side🌞
what are we?🪻
not tonight.. but🌞
nervous🌞🪻
gf headcannons 🌞🪻
tipsy🌞
cheering for u🌞
hotel🌞
attitude🌞
paige x vb girl headcannons🪻
help?🌞
good luck charm 🌞
baby fever paige head cannons 🪻
permanent🪻🌞
nsfw paige head cannons 🌞
just tired 🪻
guilty as sin? pt.1🪻
guilty as sin? pt. 2🪻🌞
presents🌞
vacation🌞
paige x short girl head cannons 🪻
so high school🌞🪻
paige x injured or sick gf head cannons 🪻
on camera 🌞🪻
munch paige head cannons 🌞
nsfw paige heacannons pt. 2🌞
nobody gets me 🌞🪻
making out with paige headcannons🌞
safe word🪻🌞
paige x hairstylist gf headcannons 🪻
right there 🌞
ass girl paige head cannons 🌞
tits girl paige headcannons 🌞
pathetic 🌞
sub!paige head cannons 🌞
dom!paige headcannons 🌞
begging🌞
sexy 🌞
be quiet 🌞
maybe not enemies? pt.1 🌞
maybe not enemies? pt.2 🌞
summer with paige headcannons 🪻
i remeber everything 🪻
Nika muhl
team dinner🌞
grillz🌞
gf headcannons 🌞🪻
KK Arnold
on live 🪻
kk arnold gf headcannons🪻
Azzi Fudd
anniversary🪻
azzi gf head cannons 🪻🌞
Ice Brady
playing 🌞
gf headcannons 🪻
Kate Martin
kate martin head cannons 🌞🪻
Caroline Harvey
somewhere only we know 🪻
Headcannons
paige gf headcannons 🌞🪻
paige x vb player head cannons 🌞
kk arnold gf headcannons 🪻
baby fever paige headcannons🪻
nsfw paige head cannons 🌞
nsfw paige heacannons pt. 2🌞
nika muhl gf headcannons 🌞🪻
paige x short girl headcannons
ice brady gf headcannons 🪻
munch paige head cannons 🌞
making out with paige headcannons🌞
paige x hairstylist gf headcannons 🪻
ass girl paige head cannons 🌞
tits girl paige headcannons 🌞
sub!paige head cannons 🌞
dom!paige headcannons 🌞
azzi gf head cannons 🪻🌞
kate martin head cannons 🌞🪻
summer with paige headcannons 🪻
#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#paige buckets#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x reader#azzi fudd#ice brady x reader#kk arnold#nika muhl x reader#nika muhl#ashlynn shade#ashlynn shade my pookie#paigebueckersmommy#wlw#uconn women’s basketball#wlw headcanons#wlw ns/fw#lesbian#kate martin headcannons#kate martin smut#kate martin#kk harvey#kk harvey x reader#ncaa hockey#badger#wisconsin#womens hockey
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this clip makes me feral
#umich hockey#nj devils#luke hughes#quinnipiac#ncaa hockey#frozen four lb#tampa florida#ice hockey#nhl players#nhl playoffs
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Tuesday 5th November 2024
Erev tov,
I am back. I did not plan to step away for nearly an entire month. However, with the high holy days and things going on at work, I just haven't had the time to get on here. But I am back, and I hope all who read this had a great Rosh HaShanah / Yom Kippur / Sukkot / Simchat Torah. And if you celebrated Halloween, well, a belated Happy Halloween as well.
Things here were mostly pretty good. My holidays were quite meaningful, though the weather here was less than cooperative for Sukkot.
Also, Halloween was a bit a shit. I put candy out for trick or treaters, went inside for about 5 minutes to feed my cats, and jn that 5 minutes some kid came and stole my the entire bucket of candy. Including the bucket, so, I ended up not answering the door for trick or treaters the rest of the night.
Things at work have been super busy as well, we've hired some new people, so I've been getting sent all over the place to train the new people. So far, they're doing pretty good, though.
Also, now that the high holy days are over, class has started back up. That's also added to my busy schedule.
Today at least was a day off, bank holiday for the Melbourne Cup. Spent a lot of today sleeping. I also watched some NCAA basketball and ice hockey.
It's supposed to be quite hot here tomorrow, so I'm hoping to get through my work early so I can get out of the heat.
Anyway about to call it a night.
Laila Tov
#Rosh Hashanah#Yom Kippur#Sukkot#Sinchat Torah#Halloween#NCAA#College basketball#college hockey#ice hockey#basketball
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"It’s about the special glow of college hockey players, who might be undrafted, under-developed, nobodies in outsiders’ eyes, but are heroes to us. This story is about how college hockey was more than hockey to me."
Before the NCAA season starts tomorrow, read Michelle Zheng's op-ed here.
#offside news#centre ice#op ed#college hockey#beanpot#bu#boston university#terriers hockey#macklin celebrini#Trevor Zegras#Alex Vlasic#Spencer Knight#Matt Boldy#Jack Drury#Henry Thrun#michael kesselring#cade webber#Northeastern#Boston college#ncaa#ncaa hockey
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impermanence - alex dimitrov / mediations in an emergency - cameron awkward-rich / the thing is - ellen bass / hey jealousy - the gin blossoms / mornings at blackwater - mary oliver
#brock faber YOU are cursed by the minnesotan sports narrative#if mason nevers doesn’t get an a… you will see me on kare11#him being so red in the face and laying on the ice with his stick broken. literally had to just stare#i was literally speechless#the palpable devastation in the chip pics literally kills me#but i am going to be positive! i am so excited for next year! i’m only still 85% devastated!#brock faber#matthew knies#mason nevers#logan cooley#jimmy snuggerud#oliver moore#asw#*#ncaa#hockey#minnesota golden gopher hockey#gopher hockey#gophers#minnesota wild#wild#faber#knies#nevers#snuggerud#cooley#moore#dropping this and then going to watch atsv 😎#long post
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Minutemen Outlast Warriors
North Andover, MA – The Massachusetts Minutemen rode 26 saves from freshman goalie Michael Hrabal and two-point nights from juniors Lucas Mercuri and Scott Morrow to a 3-2 win over the Merrimack Warriors in front of 2,314 at J. Thom Lawler Arena on the Merrimack campus. Cole O’Hara gave the visiting Minutemen the early 1-0 lead when he deposited a Jack Musa cross-crease pass past Zachary…
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#Cole O&039;Hara#David Sacco#Ethan Bono#Greg Carvel#Hockey East#Lucas Mercuri#Massachusetts Minutemen#Merrimack Warriors#Michael Hrabal#NCAA Men&039;s Ice Hockey#Scott Morrow#Zachary Borgiel
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𝐇𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐘.
note ─ links to my masterlists of each team. the names displayed in both this and the teams individual lists are the teams/players i currently write for.
last updated; march 2.
𝐀𝐓𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂!
florida panthers. toronto maple leaves.
𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐋!
chicago blackhawks. colorado avalanche.
𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐎!
carolina hurricanes. new jersey devils. new york islanders. pittsburgh penguins.
𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐂!
anaheim ducks. san jose sharks. vancouver canucks. vegas golden knights.
𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂!
boston college eagles. michigan wolverines.
© 2024, spidercomics - all rights reserved.
#ice hockey#hockey#nhl#ncaa hockey#florida panthers#panthers#toronto maple leafs#leafs#colorado avalanche#avs#carolina hurricanes#canes#new jersey devils#nj devils#new york islanders#ny islanders#islanders#pittsburgh penguins#pens#anaheim ducks#ducks#vancouver canucks#canucks#umich hockey#michigan wolverines#chicago blackhawks#boston college eagles#san jose sharks#── navigation.
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hi! Random question maybe, but you seem very knowledgeable about hockey: there's a post on the PWHL subreddit right now asking about the differences between PWHL and NHL hockey. A lot of people in the comments are saying the skill level in the PWHL is much lower, which to me a weird statement for multiple reasons, but I don't know enough to disagree or agree with certainty. Do you have any thoughts? In general, what do you think are the differences between the style of play in the two leagues right now (other than ofc level of physicality l)?
That is a weird statement, which I'll get into in a second. To me, the biggest differences are such.
Fundamentals. This is not a PWHL-specific statement. It also applies to the WNBA vs. the NBA, and baseball players drafted out of college vs. high school. With truly all the respect and love to my prep school coaches, college is where you learn how to play your sport. You get by on raw talent until you hit the college level (or, for Canadian men's hockey players, the junior level) and then you learn how to actually play. Men are spending 1-2 years in college before leaving for the show. Women do a full 4-5. It's hard to imagine someone like Jason Robertson (who I love) succeeding in the women's game, because he's not a very good pure skater. He got by on his raw offensive ability. If he were coming up through the NCAA, someone like Mark Johnson or Matt Desrosiers would have grabbed him and said, "You're doing extra shifts in the barn until you stop looking like you're drowning out there."
"Then the skill in nhl level is just insane. Passes are perfect, players can handle bouncing pucks easily, and most importantly positioning is excellent - players are almost always where they are supposed to be (because they are big and fast) so zone entry/exit is super smooth.
60 minutes of Flyers hockey would kill this Redditor. I can assure you passes are not perfect and positioning is abysmal in the NHL, because again... these are the fundamentals that players would learn if they weren't plucked out of college/juniors on the basis of their raw, unhoned talent.
Roster construction. This is largely a function of limited roster space. The PWHL has less than 1/4 the positions than the NHL does. In the men's game, each line has a defined role. The first two forward lines are your top scorers, the third line does most of the checking and defensive play, and your fourth O-line is meant to tucker out the opponents' best scorers. The PWHL doesn't really have checking lines, because there aren't really checking specialists. Instead, lines are determined by the whims of the coaches by a combination of seniority and "riding the hot hand" - players who score more get more ice time.
Goaltending. PWHL goalies are smaller than NHL goalies and working with the same size net. Someone like Ivan Fedotov (6'8") can take up more space just by standing there than someone like Emerance Maschmeyer (5'6"). As a result, PWHL goalies tend to be far more mobile, and they start their post-to-post movement early, trying to anticipate where the shot will come from so that they can physically get there and block it.
Speed vs. acceleration. I think the comments about size that people in that thread were mentioning are largely overblown because they forget that everything is relative. It only really counts in two dimensions. The first is in goaltending. The second is in movement. Taller players can cover more ground with each push, which helps with their speed. Smaller players, because they aren't dragging as much weight around the ice with them, can push off from a stop faster, which helps their acceleration. It's why KCS is such a pain in the ass to play against: if she and I are both standing at the starting line, she (5'2", 125 lbs) can take off much faster than I (5'10", 170 lbs) can. I can hope to close the distance by using my strength and stride, but she's got the edge on that first 200 ft. Hey, you know what else is 200 feet? A hockey rink. She beat me to the other end.
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[ 5 more minutes ] l. hughes
paring : Luke Hughes x fem!reader
summary : Luke’s girlfriend surprises him in Newark after his last college hockey game
warning(s) : none really. just very fluffy and emotional. also very short bc it was 1 am when i came up w this idea
author’s note : in honor of today being my last day as an ncaa student athlete, i quickly wrote this up. i was feeling very emotional and i needed a way to express how i felt. hence why we now have a very fluffy / emotional fic. some of the comments luke makes are some of my thoughts about how my own season ended yesterday. it’s kinda sad but it had to be done. you’re welcome (i think ?)
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Jack texts her when he has picked up his younger brother from the airport. She begins to pace around the living room of Jack’s apartment that he’s now going to be sharing with Luke.
She has no clue what state Luke is going to be in when he walks through the door. He’s probably going to be so pissed that he spent the last two minutes or so of his college career in the penalty box instead of on the ice or on the bench with his teammates. He’s been so busy traveling that he hasn’t had time to sit and reflect on the season.
That’s the reason that she hopped on a flight to Newark as soon as the clock hit zero against Quinnipac. She just wanted to make sure that he’s okay before he goes and signs his NHL contract in two days and joins Jack on the Devils.
Either he’s going to be really upset and pissed or he’s going to be excited to start the next chapter in his career. She has no idea which version of Luke she’s going to get.
Keys jingle in the door about a half hour after Jack texts her to let her know he has Luke. She stops pacing and stands in the middle of the living room. Her eyes are on the door as Jack pushes it open.
“… not really in the mood for any surprises,” Luke says as he walks through the door. “I’m so tired.”
“I think you’ll like this one,” Jack tells his brother as he shuts the door behind them. Luke drops the big duffel bag that contains his hockey gear on the floor by the door in the foyer area. Then he finally makes his way to the living room with his suitcase.
He freezes mid-step when he sees his girlfriend.
With a small wave and a smile, she says, “Hi, Lukey.”
Luke crosses the room in five strides because of his stupidly long legs. He envelops her in a hug and buries his face in her neck. She wraps her arms around his torso and they stand like that for what feels like an eternity.
She doesn’t mind. If it means that Luke’s okay then she’ll stand like this forever.
She presses soft kisses into his shoulder and whispers to him, “I’m so proud of you, Luke. So incredibly proud of you. I know that’s not how you wanted the season to end but you did everything you could, and for that I am so, so proud of you.”
A quiet sob wracks Luke’s body as he pulls back from the hug. She sees tears in his eyes and frowns. A couple roll down his cheek and she reaches up to wipe them away. Jack silently sneaks out of the apartment. He thinks he’s slick but she saw him leave behind Luke.
“I hated that I wasnt out there those last two minutes,” he tells her, voice shaky. “Maybe I could’ve done something that pushed the game into overtime or won it for us. Instead I was in the penalty box while my team had to fight even harder to get goals because they were down a man.”
“I know, baby,” she softly replies. “I wish I could’ve given you guys five more minutes. You all fought so hard. So fucking hard. I’m so sorry that’s how your season ended.”
More tears roll down Luke’s cheeks and she continues to wipe them away.
“I feel like I let them down,” he whispers. “I could’ve fought harder for them. For this season. I let them down when they needed me most and now I’m abandoning them.” His words break her heart.
She shakes her head and cups his jaw. “You didn’t let anyone down,” she tells him. “You did what you could in the sixty minutes you had. They know that and they will always remember how hard you fought for them. You’re so important to everyone on that team and you played such an important role in getting as far as you did as a team. They’re just as proud of you as I am because you are about to start an amazing new chapter in your hockey career. You aren’t abandoning them, Luke. They want you to move forward in your career. They understand that you’re ready and that this is what you want.”
Luke nods and wraps his hands around her wrists. She continues to look up at her boyfriend.
She’ll never understand how he feels because she isn’t an athlete. All she can do now is try to help him realize that he isn’t the worst teammate that he thinks he is at the moment. She doesn’t want him to have that mindset as he transitions from college to the NHL.
Losing is tough in any sport. She knows that much and she is going to make sure that Luke understands that it is okay to feel this way but that he also has to get ready to move forward.
“Thank you for being here,” he says after a moment of comfortable silence. “Sorry I’m such a mess. I didn’t think it would affect me this much.”
“It just shows how much you love every team that you’re on,” she replies. “You dedicate so much time to hockey because you love it. You’re allowed to feel this way and feel it for a little bit. You do have a contract to sign in a few days so I’m giving you tonight to get out everything you feel about the Michigan season ended. Tomorrow, it’s time to get excited. I’m here to help you get excited.”
A smile finally cracks through the frown that’s been plastered on Luke’s face since he saw her. She dries his cheeks one more time before she pulls him back into a hug.
Luke presses a soft kiss to the top of her head. “I love you,” he says into her hair. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Shut up. Yes you do,” she retorts. “I love you too. Let’s go get you unpacked then we can take a nap because I heard you tell Jack how tired you are.”
When she pulls away from the hug and starts to walk to his suitcase, Luke grabs her hand and pulls her back to him. She looks up at him for a quick second before his lips are on hers. The kiss surprises her because of how emotional he is, but sometimes a kiss is all it takes to feel better.
She happily smiles into the kiss and runs her fingers through his curls as she returns it. It’s one of his favorite things she does so many he’ll start to feel better a little faster. Luke loves feelings her fingers in his curls. It’s the reason he doesn’t try to tame them.
The front door opens again and a voice says, “Okay, we are establishing some rules. Rule one, the door stays open three inches when your girlfriend is over. I don’t need any babies crying in my apartment at three in the morning right now.”
They both pull back and she looks behind Luke at Jack, who has a disgusted look on his face. She smiles but Luke’s cheeks turn a tomato red. She laughs and shakes her head.
“Rule two,” Jack continues. “No making out anywhere I can see you. That means the-”
“Jack!” Luke snaps. “I get it. We get it. Also, I’m not going to be leaving my door open three inches. If I want to have sex with my girlfriend then I’m going to. It’s my room and we split the rent now so I’ll do what I want.”
“None of that premarital kissing stuff where I can see or hear it,” Jack tells his brother. “I don’t need that in my life.”
She laughs and takes the opportunity to grab Luke’s bag and suitcase. “Don’t worry,” she says. “We won’t traumatize you. Again.”
Both Luke and his girlfriend laugh as they make their way to Luke’s new room, leaving a disgusted and definitely traumatized Jack Hughes in the living room.
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MASTERLIST
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taglist : @dasiysthings @axaslee @ithinkimokeei @dancerbailey3 @mangoluver @prettyinsatiable @ivy-34 @love4lando
#hockey imagines#hockey imagine#hockey fanfiction#hockey fic#hockey oneshot#nhl imagines#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#nhl oneshot#umich hockey fic#umich fic#luke hughes#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes fluff
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Hockey!matt
First post in the AU!
MATT STURNIOLO: PASSIONATE OR A HOT HEAD?
"Matthew Bernard Sturniolo, a 24-year-old triplet native to Boston Massachusetts. According to his parents, from a young age he and his youngest brother Christopher Owen Sturniolo, were always interested in sports. Seeing this, the parents decided to throw the boys in any sport they could. They started off playing for their town's soccer team, a typical thing for most kids to do. However, it seemed as if the sport wasn't enough for a young Matthew. It was too easy, he cleared all the other kids without even trying. Seeing this, his parents threw him into another sport, lacrosse. Now this held Matthew over for a long time until it became boring, he needed something more.
That's when hockey came into play, a sport most boys in Boston find solace in during the cold months. The sport seemed to be Matt's calling, the ice feeling like a second home. His talent was natural, something most people couldn't obtain no matter how much they trained. He ended up loving the sport so much, he made it his full-time career.
At age 17, he graduated high school alongside his two brothers and their childhood best friend. All four boys managed to get full-ride scholarships to Boston University, a school that had many NCAA wins, and has sent many players to the NHL. Matt took control of the Terriers by force, quickly becoming the captain when only being a freshman. Many of his former teammates and coaches had good things to say about him, but something stood out to me. That something was his anger.
"He was a hothead, always shouting and yelling at us during practice"
"There were a couple of times where he broke his stick and punched a locker after losing a game"
"I remember he argued with our coach one day. The argument was so bad, both of them just ripping into each other. It escalated so quick, one second they were shouting and the next Matt was throwing punches."
All of these are quotes by old teammates who would like to stay anonymous.
It was an evident pattern that managed to follow him to where he is now, the lucky star of the Boston Bruins. I had the specialty of sitting in on some of the practices, seeing how the men work with each other. Just like I expected, Matt was a force to be reckoned with. He yelled and berated some of his teammates, even going as far as getting into an argument with his own brother. It's hard to tell if it's just him being driven by passion, or if he simply has anger issues. I chose to go with the latter considering what I saw during the first game of the preseason.
The Bruins were losing against the New York Rangers, not that the score mattered. The preseason is mainly for the coaches to evaluate their team and see who fits where. So why was Matt Sturniolo causing fights, yelling at refs, and being an overall hothead? He resembled the Hulk, the brute green giant who was also a hothead when angry. It seems as if no matter the situation, training, preseason, or the actual NHL season, he was locked in and out for blood.
He's passionate about the sport, perhaps too passionate. Would it be his downfall? Would the Bruins let him go and leave him to reminisce about his glory days while he rots? We will have to tune in to this year's NHL season to find out."
Y/n Y/L * october 3rd, 2024
AHHHHHH A NEW TROPE/AU!!!!! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THIS! IF THIS IS CONFSUING IM SORRY! I TRIED TO MAKE THIS INTRO THE ARTICLE READER (AKA YOU) WROTE ABOUT MATT WHICH JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE HOW YALL MEET! I HOPE THIS GIVES A GOOD BACKGROUND! I PLAN ON DOING FICS FOR THIS AU BUT IM ALSO WILLING TO DO BLURBS JUST HOW I DID FOR BUNNY!READER!!!
LET ME KNOW WHAT YALL THINK!!
#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt girl#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo imagine
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HIS SMILE ❤️🔥
#umich hockey#nj devils#luke hughes#hughes brothers#quinn hughes#ellen hughes#jim hughes#ncaa hockey#ice hockey#jack hughes#university of michigan
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Sunday 10th November 2024
Erev tov and Shavua tov,
It's been a few days since my last post, but other than work and class, it's been pretty uneventful. Basically I went to work and attended synagogue services and went to class. Beyond that, I played chess with a friend, watched TV and read. C'est la vie.
Today was pretty uneventful. Spent pretty much all day watching sport and doing laundry. I may or may not have mentioned on here before that I went to secondary school and university in the US. I lived in Connecticut in secondary school, and so developed a fondness of Boston area pro sports. I then studied and played football ('soccer') at UNC Greensboro. Also spent time at Hawai'i and Minnesota. So today was a bit of a nostalgia trip for me; watched the Boston Bruins ice hockey game. Also the University of Hawai'i football game and basketball game. And the University of Minnesota ice hockey, basketball and football games. It was fun, Bruins lost unfortunately. Hawai'i lost in American football but won in basketball. Minnesota won in ice hockey and basketball. I still am watching their American football game so can't comment on that yet. Probably won't see the end though it's getting late here.
Been a fun day though. I'm glad I live in Australia but sometimes the nostalgia kicks in. Tomorrow, UNC Greensboro soccer is in the semi-finals of the SoCon championship do I'll definitely be watching that along with the Chelsea game and the New England Patriots game after work and class.
Anyway going to watch a bit more of the Goohers football game before calling it a night.
Laila Tov
#Minnesota#Golden Gophers#NCAA#Basketball#Football#NHL#Ice Hockey#Boston Bruins#hawai'i#rainbow warriors
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On this week's edition of Off The Radar, we highlight Amherst College's women's ice hockey team, our first (but not last!) women's hockey team spotlight.
Read more here!
#off the radar#nescac#jeff matthews#amherst college#diii hockey#diii women's ice hockey#women's ice hockey#ncaa hockey#acha#amherst mammoths#umass boston beacons#codfish bowl#st.olaf
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From: [email protected]
Subj: Restriction on Pies and Pastries Supply to PVD Falconers
Mr. Eric Bittle,
It has recently been brought to my attention that you are responsible for the pies and various pastries that have been delivered to members of the NHL team, the Providence Falconers. Unfortunately, the high fat content found in pies and the like poses a significant risk to athletes' physical fitness. It is vital for hockey players to maintain optimal physical condition to ensure their peak performance on the ice, and therefore the team’s win.
As it is my duty to oversee their dietary requirements, I ask you to cease the distribution of such food items to the members of the team immediately.
Thank you for your cooperation,
Jack Zimmermann
Providence Falconers Nutritionist | Providence, RI
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From: [email protected]
Subj: Re: Restriction on Pies and Pastries Supply to PVD Falconers
Dear Mr. Zimmermann,
It’s really nice to make your acquaintance. I actually had to message Alexei just to make sure this wasn’t some prank from one of my friends - I couldn’t believe an actual NHL staff member reached out to me! He assured me you’re the real thing, however (although I’m not sure how you got my school contact info?).
About the pies - you have nothing to worry about. Firstly, I only use the very best products, so anything your boys are getting from me is high quality. Second of all, I explicitly told the boys that I would only make the deliveries on cheat days. They better be smarter than to lie to me.
I’m a big fan of the Falconers, and I would never do anything to harm their chances! On the contrary, I do believe having a pie waiting for you at the end of a hard week gives more motivation for training. So actually, I’m helping y’all out :)
You’re very welcome, and good luck against the Devils!
Eric
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From: [email protected]
Subj: Re: Re: Restriction on Pies and Pastries Supply to PVD Falconers
Mr. Bittle,
I appreciate your reply. However, I feel that I have not made my stance clear enough.
Hockey is a very demanding sport. Cheat meals are meant to benefit our players, not provide them with an excuse to consume excessive amounts of sugar and fat. Nine of our players had received deliveries from you in the last 3 months. In my estimations, that comes to about 216 baked pies.
You must not be aware of this, but regular consumption of saturated fat can lead to heart disease and stroke. I advise you to look into investing your time in less harmful pursuits. I attached a list of recommendations for preferable culinary interests and other hobbies (if you eat even a portion of what you make, I highly recommend taking an interest in physical activity).
Please write back to me with confirmation that you will no longer deliver to members of this team.
Sincerely,
Jack Zimmermann
Providence Falconers Nutritionist | Providence, RI
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From: [email protected]
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Restriction on Pies and Pastries Supply to PVD Falconers
Mr. Zimmermann,
Unfortunately, I can make no such promises. Your players are counting on me, and I’d hate letting those sweet boys down. But just give it a few more months! You’ll see their game won’t be affected, and we could put all this behind us. In fact, I bet you’ll even see some improvement :)
Thank you for your concern, but it’s honestly not needed. I’m definitely getting enough physical activity, haha. Actually, I’m the captain of a Division I NCAA ice hockey team. And look, I’m doing just fine!
Also, I did take a look at your list. Flourless protein brownies?? Poor man. If that is what you consider a dessert, it’s no wonder you’ve got all these misguided views on pies. I had real brownies delivered just for you this morning, so you can taste the difference yourself. If they’re not on your desk by this afternoon, Thirdy or Poots must’ve gotten to them. Please let me know so I can make another batch.
All the best,
Eric
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From: [email protected]
Subj: Final Request to Discontinue Pastry Deliveries
Mr. Bittle,
You’re a hockey player who bakes a dozen pies a month in his free time? This is unacceptable for a sports team on any level. If possible, I would like the name of your team and your coach. Your staff should be made aware of the risks involved in not supervising their players’ health. I am more than willing to offer my services for a free-of-charge seminar about nutrition.
I have made my position about the deliveries very clear. If you cannot assure me of your cooperation, I will be forced to speak to security and restrict entry of food into our facilities without my approval.
I don’t wish to resort to forbidding you from future contact with team members, but if it is in the best interest of the team’s success, I will.
Good day,
Jack Zimmermann
Providence Falconers Nutritionist | Providence, RI
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From: [email protected]
Subj: (no subject)
Dear Jack Zimmermann,
I would like to see you try.
Bless you heart,
Eric Bittle
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