#national security dialogue
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townpostin · 4 months ago
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Ex-Servicemen Delegation Meets Defence MoS in Jamshedpur
Akhil Bharatiya Purva Sainik Seva Parishad discusses military and national security issues A delegation from the Akhil Bharatiya Purva Sainik Seva Parishad met with Union Minister of State for Defence Sanjay Seth to discuss military and national security matters. JAMSHEDPUR – Representatives from the Jharkhand state and Jamshedpur chapters of the Akhil Bharatiya Purva Sainik Seva Parishad held a…
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agentfascinateur · 5 months ago
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Freedom for Vladimir Kara-Murza
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Russia can offer no lessons until it lets people speak.
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falseandrealultravival · 9 months ago
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Modern The First Emperor of Qin: Xi Jinping (Essay)
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The First Emperor of Qin
``Even if there is someone who has a different opinion than yours, do not deny the other person's position, but rather engage in dialogue and seek a compromise. “Law'' regulates these actions and attempts to reconcile interests. This is the essence of democracy. However, some cannot understand this logic at all...China's President: Xi Jinping.
He suppresses opinions that differ from his own. This is using the "laws" he arbitrarily enacted. It is a ``law'' for oppression, not a ``law'' for adjusting interests. Hong Kong is an easy-to-understand example. In addition to sufficiently depriving Hong Kong citizens of their freedoms under the Hong Kong National Security Law, the law "legally" deprived pro-democracy candidates of the opportunity to run in district council elections. In the end, no one could run. and he excluded democratic factions from the district assembly. What a wonderful application of the "law"!
Repression by ``law''... Xi Jinping is said to respect the ancient Chinese thinker: Han Fei. Han Fei envisioned applying ruthless ``laws'' to the common people to suppress them. Of course, there was no dialogue, it was a one-way street. The First Emperor of Qin was the one who adopted this idea, so isn't Xi Jinping aiming to become The First Emperor? He hangs a picture of the Great Wall of China built by The First Emperor. He believes in political ideas from 2000 years ago. It's anachronistic and frightening. Maybe Xi Jinping is an extremely timid person. Because he is afraid of dialogue. Does Xi Jinping know that The First Emperor wanted to become a god and drank mercury as a means to that end? What if Xi Jinping also drank mercury? As a fake chemist.
 Rei Morishita
現代の始皇帝:習近平(エッセイ)
「自分と異なる意見の者がいたとしても、相手の立場は否定せず、対話し妥協点を探る。それらの行動を規定し、利害調整を図るのが「法」である。これは民主主義の要諦である。しかし、この理屈を全く理解できない者��いる・・・中国国家主席:習近平である。
彼は自分と異なる意見を、圧殺する。彼が恣意的に制定した「法」によってである。抑圧するための「法」であり、利害調節のための「法」ではない。解りやすい事例として香港がある。香港国家安全維持法によって香港市民の自由を十分奪っているのに加え、区議会議員選挙で、民主派の候補の立候補の機会を、「法」によって「合法的に奪い」、ついにはだれも立候補できなくし、民主派を区議会から締め出した。なんて見事な「法」の適用だろう。
「法」による抑圧・・・習近平は古代中国の思想家:韓非を尊敬しているという。韓非は非情な「法」を庶民に適用して抑圧することを構想した。もちろん対話などなく、一方通行だ。この思想を採用したのが秦の始皇帝であり、習近平は始皇帝を目指しているのではないか。彼は、始皇帝の作った万里の長城の絵を掛けている。彼は2000年前の政治思想を信奉している。アナクロであり、恐ろしいことである。たぶん、習近平は小心者である。対話が怖いのだから。始皇帝は神になることを望み、その手段として水銀を飲んでいたことを習近平は知っているだろうか?習近平も水銀を飲んだらどうだろう?化学者もどきとして。
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defensenow · 6 months ago
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mapecl-stories · 11 months ago
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Bridges Instead of Barriers
Anja, a committed journalist with bright green eyes and a hint of idealism in her voice, sat in a café near the parliament building, engrossed in notes about recent political developments, especially the strict immigration laws proposed by a party called "National Alternative." This party strongly reminded her of the AfD, with its rigid stance against immigration and emphasis on national identity.
Michael, a member of the National Alternative, a young man with short, well-groomed hair and an authoritative demeanor, entered the café to prepare for an upcoming meeting. He noticed Anja, recognising her as the journalist who often wrote critical articles about his party.
They coincidentally met at the counter, leading to a brief, tense dialogue.
"You are Anja Müller, the journalist, aren't you?" Michael began.
"Yes, that's me. And you are Michael Schwarz from the National Alternative, correct?" Anja replied.
A brief conversation ensued, where both politely but firmly expressed their viewpoints. Anja spoke about human rights and the importance of diversity, while Michael emphasized national security and cultural identity.
Anja decided to deepen her reportage by conducting interviews with immigrants directly affected by the laws. Their stories were moving and complex, filled with hope yet tinged with fear and uncertainty.
Michael, on the other hand, prepared for a major meeting of his party, convinced that their policies were for the country's good, even though he sometimes distanced himself from the more radical elements in his party.
One day, Michael invited Anja to a party meeting, hoping to give her insight into their movement. Driven by journalistic curiosity and a desire to understand the other side, Anja accepted the invitation.
The meeting was an eye-opener for Anja. She saw the complexity and diversity of the members and their views. Simultaneously, Michael was challenged by Anja's questions and comments to reconsider some of his party's rigid views.
The turning point came when Anja and Michael witnessed a violent attack on a group of immigrants. Instinctively, they worked together to help and de-escalate the situation. This shared experience had a profound impact on both.
Following this event, Anja and Michael found themselves in many long conversations. They realized that their differences were less significant than the common values they shared: humanity, justice, and the desire for peaceful coexistence.
Together, they founded an initiative advocating for a more balanced immigration policy and intercultural dialogue. They held lectures, organized events, and worked to build bridges between different communities.
The story ends with a scene of Anja and Michael sitting together at a table, surrounded by people of diverse backgrounds. They laugh, discuss, and share stories – a vibrant picture of diversity and mutual respect.
"Building bridges is harder than erecting barriers," Anja says.
"But it's the only way forward," adds Michael, and both nod in agreement.
The novella concludes with a sense of hope that understanding and cooperation are keys to a better future.
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quack-quack-snacks · 11 months ago
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Floating Above Those Dark Skies
My Navigation and Masterlist
My Sweet Home Masterlist
My Cha Hyun-su Masterlist
Pairing(s): Cha Hyun-su x Fem!Reader Summary: Living with the love of your life and the girl you love like a daughter is perfect. Except for all the bad parts. Warnings: Season 2 spoilers! Follows the dialogue of the episodes relatively strictly (I know some people like that but some people don't so it's a warning), Reader being like a second mother to Ah-yi, Hyun-su being a great big brother/father figure, slight talk of previous suicide attempts (The National Suicide and Crisis Hotline is 988. There are so many people who care about you and would love to help you. You are not alone), injuries, underage drinking (but they're in the apocalypse so who cares), canonical death, hurt with comfort, the appearance of (soft and kinda ooc) monster!Hyun-su, no use of (y/n), reader has the nickname "Lucky". Word Count: 17,132 (wow, what a doozy)
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Hyun-su led the way as you all walked to his home. Halfway there, Ah-yi complained about her feet hurting and it was then you noticed she had been barefoot this entire time. 
‘We definitely need to fix that,’ you thought. 
Before Hyun-su could even open his mouth, you crouched down and extended your hands out to her. She rushed forward to jump into your arms with a tired smile. When you straightened back up, she rested her head against your shoulder and was out like a light within a few minutes. 
“She seems to like you a lot,” Hyun-su whispered fondly as a gentle smile laid itself on his lips. After making sure she was secure in your arms, you smiled back at him and dropped one hand from holding her to hold his hand. 
“I guess I’m just a toddler whisperer. I think she likes me better than you,” you joked and he let out a scoff while squeezing your hand.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” he told you in an offended tone you could tell was fake by the smile threatening to break his facade. 
After a few minutes of comfortable silence as you walked, you asked the question that had been burning in your mind since you saw him again with the girl in your arms. “So… who is she?” 
He let out a heavy sigh before pushing a tree branch out of the way for you to walk through since your hands were full. 
Always the gentleman.
“She’s Seo Yi-kyung’s baby.”
You let out a quiet gasp. “What? But she hadn’t even been pregnant for half a year? And this is at least a 4-year-old child!” You whisper shouted at him, completely shocked by the information. 
“I don’t fully understand it either, but I do know she’s hers,” he assured you and you let out a sigh, your eyes wide as you tried to process the information. 
“So, is she a monster-human mix as well? Is she like you?” You asked. You hadn’t noticed the way Hyun-su snapped his head towards you because you were too focused on the girl in your arm, letting out small breaths that tickled your neck. The way you said the sentence was so unlike anything he had heard before - especially relating to talking about monsters and neohumans. You sounded so soft, not an ounce of judgment or resentment in your voice. You sounded like no matter what the answer was you wouldn’t treat her any differently. You would adore her just as much as you were in that moment with your face buried in her hair as she let out quiet snores in her sleep. He gave a soft smile at the thought. 
“I think so. She's grown so much since I first met her. Her actual age is around 5 or 6 months.”
“Wow,” you breathed and he couldn’t help but marvel at the way your voice embodied adoration and your smile was so bright it set the sky on fire despite the sun falling over the horizon. “That’s… wow.”
The rest of the walk was spent in silence. At some point, Hyun-su’s hand moved from holding yours to circling your waist as you hugged Ah-yi to your chest protectively. Eventually, the three of you arrived at a dock where a large boat was parked. 
 You weren’t all too surprised to find he had lived on a boat for the past half-year but you couldn’t help the small part that didn’t believe him when he told you. 
He hopped up onto the boat first before helping you, careful not to wake Ah-yi. After the two of you were safely atop the boat, he led you to the captain’s quarters and helped you lay the girl in your arms down onto the nest of blankets and sweaters assembled to make a bed. Her dress had dried surprisingly quickly on the way to the boat, the only thing left to be damp was her hair.
 You weren’t so lucky.
Your clothes stuck to your skin uncomfortably but you refused to complain, giving a - hopefully convincing - smile to Hyun-su when he saw you detach your shirt from your chest with a grimace. He walked away for a few moments and you sat down at the entrance to the captain’s quarters, resting your head against the door frame until his soft footsteps brought your attention back to him. He stood in front of you with a pair of folded clothes in his hands. 
“I have these if you want to change into some fresh clothes. I don’t have any towels but this might help.”
The hesitant and shy look on his face made a smile break out on your own. You gave him a nod and took the clothes from his hands. You didn’t comment on how they were exactly your size but it made your heart flutter. 
“Thank you,” you told him genuinely.
He nodded back at you before pointing to a door inside the quarters. “In there is a bathroom for whenever you want to change. I’ll wait for you out here.”
You nodded and turned before the smitten smile overcame your face stupidly at the thought. He just said he would wait for you and you could feel your heartbeat quickening alarmingly while heat rose to your cheeks. You walked into the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror. It was kind of scary. You hadn’t seen your reflection in a few months, never venturing into any areas with cars and rarely going near water. All the mirrors in the women's locker room back at the stadium had been broken after a monster outbreak and the monster breaking all of them because she was ‘too ugly.’ 
You honestly almost forgot what you looked like, but you were beautiful. You had always thought of yourself as a relatively attractive person but never the kind that would make someone turn their head. Now, you found yourself unable to look away. Your skin was glowing, whether that be from the sweat collecting from the walk or the water, you didn’t know. Any blood that had collected on you over the past few weeks had been rinsed off in the lake and you relished in the feeling of being clean of it for once, despite how the stickiness of the wet clothes you were still wearing still made you feel a bit dirty.
Snapping out of your amazement, you quickly took your old clothes off, replacing them with the ones Hyun-su had given you. It was a simple pair of dark gray sweatpants and a maroon short-sleeved shirt. You took off your unbearably uncomfortable socks and replaced them with the soft wool socks he provided as well. Now dry, you exited the bathroom to see Hyun-su had stuck to his word and was waiting for you as he leaned against the door frame of the room, though this time in a different, dryer outfit. 
“Hey,” you said softly to get his attention. He looked over at you and smiled when he saw you all dressed and dryer than before. 
“Hey,” he whispered back. He held his hands out for you to give him your wet clothes and you did reluctantly. He walked over to the edge of the boat and laid them over the edge so they could dry before returning to you. “Well, you should get some sleep.”
As if his words were magic, you suddenly felt the events of the day hit you like a truck and you yawned, nodding your agreement. “I think that’s a good idea.”
You gave a quick look around the room before deciding to sleep next to Ah-yi with your head using a part of her ‘bed’ as a pillow.
Hyun-su winced as he saw you settle against the hard floor of the boat and walked forward without thinking. He gently grabbed your shoulders, lifting you and then settling you against his chest while you sat in between his legs. 
You blushed but said nothing as you settled with your cheek pressed against his chest, his heartbeat echoing against your ear and calming your nerves.
“Sleep,” he told you and tightened his grip around you. “I’ll keep watch.”
Your tongue felt heavy with sleep as you spoke your next words with a slight slur. “But what about you?”
He let out a soft laugh as he heard your breathing even out almost immediately after your sentence ended. He let his head rest against the wall behind him as he kept his gaze on the door.
“I’ll be okay,” he whispered as he briefly looked down at your peaceful sleeping face. “As long as you’re here with me…”
“Lucky.”
~A Week Into The Apocalypse, In Green Home~
It had been a week since the apocalypse started, and you had barely seen Hyun-su. The way the other residents and survivors treated him caused you to be so angry. You were thankful that at least one person - Eun-yu - didn’t treat him like a monster. 
She wasn’t much different though, considering she still avoided him most of the time. 
It was after the reappearance of Yi-kyung and the failed mission to retrieve medicine for Ji-su and her surgery that you got the chance to talk to him for more than just a quick goodbye or hello. 
“All alone?” You asked him as you approached the staircase. The candle in your hands burned a bright yellow and smelled of cinnamon sugar. His head looked up at where you were approaching and nodded as you settled yourself on the stairs with him. Although he appreciated you trying to give him space and sitting a short distance away, he couldn’t help but wish you were closer. You smiled at him and smoothed your hands along your pants when you were seated. 
“Are you scared?” 
The question through you off guard. Giving a quick look around the room, you didn’t see anything that you would consider to be a threat so you weren’t really sure what he was talking about. 
“Of what?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion at the boy. 
He mirrored your head tilt with a confused look of his own. Inwardly you laughed at how the two of you must look like confused dogs when their owners told them a command they didn’t understand. 
“Of… me?” He questioned again and a small laugh left you when you finally realized. 
“Oh, Hyun-su,” you reached over to gently grab his hand as you looked him deeply in the eyes. “I promise you I could never be scared of you.”
He looked down with a small smile at that and you could see the small hints of red on his ears and cheeks. 
“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” you started and gently released his hand. He immediately felt cold at the lack of your added warmth. “I never tried because I wasn’t sure if you even wanted to talk to me, but is there a reason why you never came by? Even after you were given a choice to leave the quarantining room?”
He paused as he thought for a moment. “I thought you didn’t want to see me. You were the only person not put on guard duty so I figured it was because you asked not to.”
You let out a sad sigh. “Shit, I’m sorry. I promise that’s not what happened.”
He looked up at you with sad, confused little puppy eyes. “It’s not?” 
You shook your head. “The first, and only, time I was put on guard duty, I tried breaking the lock on the door,” you told him and looked away sheepishly. 
“Really?” He asked after a moment of stunned silence. 
You nodded in assurance. “After that, Eun-hyuk tried to do whatever he could to keep me as far away from you as possible. I was hoping that would change since you got out but now I know why it didn’t,” you smiled at him sweetly and he felt the heat rise to his cheeks so he looked away. “You know,” you continued. “I always saw you stop by my door right before you would leave, but you never said anything. Was that also because you thought I didn’t want to talk to you?”
“Partially. It was mainly so I could just see you before I left. Every time I thought I was going to die I thought about returning so I could at least try to fix whatever was happening,” he told you. Now he was the one who looked sheepish as he scratched the back of his neck. “I always backed out at the last minute though.”
You smiled and scooted closer to him on the stairs, moving down so you were on the same level and making it so only half a foot of space separated you. “I guess I was like your lucky charm then, wasn’t I?” You teased and lightly bumped your shoulder against his. 
“Yeah, I guess you were.”
~Back To The Present~
It had been about a month since you reunited with Hyun-su. You’d grown closer to Ah-yi in no time. She looked up to you and it seemed she just needed another girl in her life to have around. Your favorite part about growing closer to her was she had upgraded your honorific from ‘Miss’ to ‘Unni’ which made your heart clench adoringly every time.
The first time Hyun-su decided to make a trip into the city to collect some supplies, he was so hesitant to leave the two of you alone. You promised you would protect Ah-yi and yourself with whatever it takes; that seemed to be enough for him to be comfortable enough to leave. He never lost his hesitancy to leave the two of you alone despite each time he came back the two of you would be fine.
The most recent time was no different. You sat on top of a large, red, metal shipping container with Ah-yi as the two of you drew using the chalk you were fortunate enough to find a few days ago.
“That looks beautiful, Ah-yi! You are such a good artist,” you praised her on her drawing and she visibly beamed. It was a simple drawing of some flowers and her, you, and Hyun-su. It was clear it was made by a child but it was so beautiful in your eyes. 
“Thank you, Unni!” You ruffled her hair which she squealed at until you noticed Hyun-su walking towards the two of you with a smile on his face and a hand hiding behind his back while the other supported a red bag over his shoulder. “Oppa!” Ah-yi exclaimed and you smiled at her excitement. 
He rounded the corner of the large container and brought the hand hiding behind his back out to place a pair of pink shoes on the top. Ah-yi gasped while you had a big smile on your face. 
“Come on!” You urged her and she sat on the edge of the box so Hyun-su could slip the shoes onto her feet with the cutest smile ever on his face. Once the shoes were on, he held his hands out for her and she eagerly jumped down, having full faith that he wouldn’t drop her. Once he set her down, he reached his hands out for you to take and you gave him a funny look. 
“What’s wrong, Lucky?” He voiced his thoughts with a confused tilt of his head. You rolled your eyes at him while smiling. Your heart fluttered at the nickname. He’d started calling you it more often since the two of you reunited and yet it still gave you butterflies.  
“I’m okay, I can get down by myself,” you reassured him and turned around while you slowly lowered yourself from the canister, your front facing the metal. 
You heard Hyun-su softly breathe out a laugh from behind you before a hand grabbed onto the back of your shirt and pulled. You let out a yelp as you felt yourself falling only to land bridal style in Hyun-su’s arms. You clicked your tongue in faux annoyance and crossed your arms while he tried to hide the smug smile on his lips. 
“Going full ‘knight in shining armor’ mode, are we now?” You teased him and he blushed, pointedly avoiding your gaze. Suddenly, your stomach dipped as you felt him pretend to drop you and your arms wrapped themselves around his neck while he looked at you with another self-satisfied smirk.
“Well, it looks like my ‘princess’ needs her ‘knight in shining armor,’” he said softly as he looked away from you and you slapped his chest. He kneeled down when Ah-yi ran up to him. Knowing exactly what he was offering, she used one of his extended hands along with yours to help prop herself onto his shoulders. Hyun-su regained his grip on you as he grabbed the red bag he had set down and stood back up to his full height before starting the walk in the direction of the boat. You rolled your eyes, knowing any protests about him carrying you would be brushed off. Instead, you just snatched the red bag from his hand, placing it on your lap and holding it tightly to your body as you gave him a challenging glare. He just rolled his eyes with a fond smile and continued walking. 
The three of you made small talk as he carried you. Ah-yi explained what you and her had done while Hyun-su was venturing off and you chimed in every now and then with a comment. Hyun-su explained how he saw a peculiar monster today.
“It was like a mermaid with wings.”
Then, you both went on to explain what a mermaid was to the child. 
When you arrived at the boat, Hyun-su set the both of you down and Ah-yi started pulling you to the edge of the boat. You laughed as you walked up to the contraption. It was during your first week that you made the efficient self-fishing machine. It was a relatively simple mechanism that was made of a bunch of fishing poles and a homemade weight sensor. Whenever one of the poles was tugged on by something in the water, the device yanked it up and whatever was attached to the hook was left dangling in the air. 7 times out of 10, the hook was caught on litter in the ocean or a monster that was able to detach itself but there were the 3 times where you would catch a fish or two and the three of you would share it for dinner. 
It became a bit of a game for Ah-yi and yourself, guessing if the day would end with a fresh meal or a degrading empty can with barnacles growing on the side. 
As Hyun-su smiled at the two of you, he walked over to the stairs leading to the roof of the captain’s quarters and sat on the top, watching the sunset. No matter how many times you invited him to join the two of you, he always refused. It was nice you had a special activity to bond with Ah-yi over and he used that as his excuse every time.
It wasn’t even 10 minutes later as you were skinning the rare fish you’d caught with Ah-yi watching attentively as you explained the different anatomy parts to her that Hyun-su noticed a familiar face climbing the steps of the boat. He climbed down and started walking over to her while the two of you stayed distracted. You only looked over and noticed the two when you heard their footsteps. You carefully set down the knife and fish, wiping your hands on a stray towel beside you, and stood up to walk over beside Hyun-su. Ah-yi followed up behind you, grabbing onto the back of your shirt shyly. 
“I came too late, didn’t I?” Yi-kyung asked from in front of you as she looked at the girl shyly standing behind you. You decided not to answer considering you still weren’t sure how you felt about the whole situation of her leaving her child. Instead, Hyun-su answered her question.
“Not at all. You’re here now, right?”
She looked down and you could see the guilt and regret on her face. Slowly, you turned around to face Ah-yi. “That’s your mommy,” you told her and she looked at her hands shyly. “Why don’t you say hi.”
You lightly pushed her in the direction of Yi-kyung and the woman kneeled so she was face to face with her.
“Hi there,” you heard her whisper to the girl while you stood up to your full height. You wrapped your arms around Hyun-su’s waist and leaned into him while you watched them interact. Yi-kyung brought her into a hug and you smiled at the relief that settled on her face. 
Over the next few months, you and Hyun-su traveled through the city together, occasionally going back to visit Yi-kyung and Ah-yi but mainly wanting to give them the privacy a mother and daughter should have. It was adorable to come back and see the markings on the wall increase where Yi-kyung marked her daughter’s growth every day. Everything seemed to be going perfectly for the family of two.
Up until that day.
You had an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach for the entire day, feeling as if something bad was going to happen and you needed to get back to the two girls on the boat. When you shared your feelings with Hyun-su, he didn’t question it for a second, immediately going with you to rush back. 
When you arrived at the boat, you found a teenage girl covered in blood wearing the same dress as the little girl you’d grown to love while sitting on the bed blankets and jackets. You walked slowly towards her and she snapped her head up when she saw your feet enter her vision from where she had her head hung low. You kneeled in front of her, tentatively reaching a hand out to hold her cheek and she leaned into it.
Just like Ah-yi always did.
You let out a shaky breath as you finally voiced the question. 
“Ah-yi?”
She nodded, her eyes filled with fear.
Fear of resentment.
Fear of abandonment.
Fear of your fear. 
You just let out a sigh, whether it was from relief or surprise, you didn’t know. What you did know was that this was your Ah-yi and you would love her no matter what form she would take. You wrapped your arms around her and brought her in for a hug which she returned immediately. Relief coursed through her body so evidently that you could practically hear it. 
“It’s okay. Everything’s okay,” you dispelled her fears, bringing her closer and rocking her as she cried into your shoulder and told you what happened. You smoothed down her bloodied hair, not caring about how she was staining your clothes with the blood coating her. 
Once she calmed down a bit more, you gathered a rag from the bathroom.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” You promised her and she nodded. You turned and left, closing the door behind you and giving her a playful wink through the window which she giggled quietly at. Hyun-su followed you as you walked down the stairs of the boat and to the edge of the water. As you kneeled down to dip the rag into the lake's water, you started asking the questions on your mind about what Ah-yi told you happened.
“How did they even find this place? How did they find out about her being mixed?” You asked Hyun-su. His lips twitched into a small smile when he heard you refer to her as ‘mixed.’ He remembers you telling him the reasoning behind it like it was yesterday.
“I don’t like the word ‘monster.’ I always associated the word ‘monster’ with someone who acts evilly and neither of you are like that. I know you’re not entirely human anymore but I refuse to call you monsters. Human or not, you are still a good person.”
It was the moment he had set it in stone that you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 
“I don’t know,” he answered your questions. “But I have a bad feeling about the whole thing,” he paused momentarily before continuing. “What do you think we should do about the whole… touch thing she has?” He asked you and you frowned in thought.
“Well, I don’t think we should do anything. It’s a part of who she is and she shouldn’t feel the need to be ashamed of it. I don’t necessarily think she should use it on people, least of all those undeserving of it, but she can learn to control it. She doesn’t have to live in fear of herself.”
Just as Hyun-su was about to reply to your heartwarming statement, the two of you were interrupted by Ah-yi screaming and crying from the boat. You both ran in the direction of the scream and when you got there you saw Yi-kyung with her head down as blood dripped from her eye while Ah-yi was rubbing at a wound on her forearm. 
“What’s going on?” Hyun-su questioned in a panic. Seeing the bloody knife on the ground as well as a bloody pencil, you pieced together what happened. It seemed Hyun-su did too, if his sigh was any way to tell. “Why did you have to do this?”
Yi-kyung let out a few heavy breaths as she breathed through the pain coursing through her eye. “I’m her mother. No matter how she changes, or what form she takes… I need to recognize my little girl. I won’t ever lose her.”
It was then you realized the wound Yi-kyung inflicted on Ah-yi was black. You let out another sigh, anger, and understanding fighting for control of your emotions as you realized the purpose of her actions. She may have had better intentions behind the action, but how she carried it out was not the way to go. 
As Yi-kyung rose and left the scene, you sat down in front of Ah-yi, carefully reaching for her left arm where the wound had already healed. You gently used the rag to wipe down her arm, then her other arm, and then her face. You wiped down all the blood that tainted her smooth skin while she sat there silently, most likely in shock by what just happened. The domestic act, despite the violent acts that brought it about, brought a wave of emotion over Hyun-su as he watched the two of you. 
It made him realize how much he wanted a family with you one day. 
After Ah-yi was all clean, you gave her a pair of clothes to change into while you and Hyun-su went to the opposite side of the boat to talk while you waited for her. When she came out, you walked over to give her a hug which she gladly accepted. She squeezed you just as tightly as you squeezed her. You wished you could engrave it into her brain that you would never, could never, be afraid of her. 
Afterward, she went to sit on a barrel, swinging her legs back and forth while you watched her and leaned against Hyun-su’s embrace. It was all so calm until Yi-kyung appeared from the boat’s stairs and walked towards Ah-yi with purpose. Ah-yi, still angry at her mother for what she did, hopped off the barrel and started walking away but was stopped when Yi-kyung’s hand wrapped around her bicep and aggressively pulled her back. The woman shoved her daughter’s hands into a pair of pink gloves connected by a rope that she placed behind the girl’s neck. 
“Don’t take those off no matter what. Understand?” Yi-kyung told her daughter. You rushed forward, feeling anger simmer beneath your blood at the sudden display of aggression she started showing toward her daughter. 
“Hey, don’t you think this is a bit extreme?” You told her, standing in between the two girls. You felt Ah-yi grip your shirt from behind you. You could tell even if her body had grown more, she was still used to her childhood ways of having you protect her. 
“She’s my daughter, I will do as I see fit,” Yi-kyung told you sternly before swiftly turning around and walking back down the stairs of the boat, leaving the three of you alone. 
You turned around to face the girl and sighed when you saw her speed-walking to her sleeping space in the captain’s quarters and locking the door behind her. You and Hyun-su decided to just set up camp outside the door, leaving her alone for the time being so she could sort out her thoughts. 
The next morning, you woke up to the sound of Yi-kyung panicking. You instinctively looked around, looking to protect Ah-yi until you realized she wasn’t there. You rushed to stand up and ran to where her mother was breathing heavily and pacing back and forth.
“What’s going on? Where’s Ah-yi?” You questioned and she turned to face you.
“I don’t know! I was looking for her this morning and I can’t find her anywhere!”
“Shit,” you muttered to yourself. Your thoughts were racing, trying to think of any place she could possibly be. When you finally landed on an answer, you started walking off.
“Where are you going?” Yi-kyung called out to you and you scoffed, not bothering to face her as you continued walking. 
“To find your daughter.”
When you got to the garden dome, the rusting doors were firmly closed unlike the previous times you were here with Ah-yi. Not deterred in any way, you rammed into the doors, successfully sending them flying open. You winced at the loud noise and walked in. 
“Ah-yi!” You yelled out, praying your instinct was right and she was here.
“Go away, Unni,” you heard her soft voice tell you from further into the garden. 
Sighing, you walked closer until you saw her sitting on the grass flooring while playing with a flower. 
“Ah-yi, why don’t you come home?” You tried but she just shook her head. When you realized she wasn’t going to say anything else, you walked closer.
Imagine your surprise when she scrambled away from you, desperate to keep the space between you two. 
“Ah-yi, what’s wrong?” You asked gently, stopping in your tracks to give her the space she desired. 
“Don’t touch me! I might hurt you!” She exclaimed fearfully through a sob and you cursed her mother for putting that image in her head. Taking another slow and gentle step toward her, you internally cheered when she didn’t move away. You took more steps toward her until you were sitting right in front of her and your hand reached for hers. 
When she pulled back, you gave her the best reassuring smile you could muster. “Sweetie, I know that you won’t hurt me. I promise.”
She hesitated but when you reached for her hands again she let you take them. You gave her a smile and squeezed her hand before pulling her into your chest. Your arms wrapped around her shoulders and held her tightly while she started crying more, her body wracking with the violent sobs she let out. 
“I just don’t understand why she hates me so much! Those men hurt me first!” She sobbed into the crook of your neck and you softly caressed her hair, brushing the loose leaves and grass strands out. 
“I know, I’m so sorry she did that to you. You definitely didn’t deserve that,” you reassured her and lifted your chin to rest your head on top of hers when you saw Hyun-su leaning against a wall while watching the two of you with a frown. You used a hand to wave him over and he slowly walked over so he was sitting about a foot away from the two of you. You looked back down at her and kissed her forehead lovingly. “I don’t want you to be afraid of yourself. You did what you had to do in that situation and no one is blaming you for it. Your mom is just…” you hesitated, looking to Hyun-su for support on how to explain the girl’s mother’s actions in a way that wouldn’t drag her name through the mud any more than it already was.
“Your mom was just worried,” Hyun-su intervened when he noticed your pleading gaze, bringing a hand to rest against Ah-yi’s back comfortingly. Ah-yi jumped a bit, startled, but otherwise didn’t do anything. “It was a shock to her to not only see you grow 10 years older in a few seconds but also to see how you dealt with those men. She didn’t want to lose you.”
“You mean she was scared. Scared of me,” she argued.
The both of you stayed quiet for a minute before you spoke again. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now because of what happened yesterday, but I promise you she loves you,” she started crying again and you just hugged her tighter to you. “And if you don’t believe me, at least know that I love you.”
It was the first time you’d expressed that to her in words and she looked up at you in surprise. 
“Really?”
The pure innocence and surprise in her tone were enough for a genuine smile to break out on your face. 
“Of course,” you told her sincerely and brushed her overgrown bangs to the side of her face. 
‘I guess I should trim those soon,’ you thought to yourself. 
“How could I not love you? You’re amazing!” You teased her lightly and she grinned at you. “You’re like a daughter to me, Ah-yi. I can’t see a life in which I wouldn’t love you.”
She dug her head into the crook of your neck again at your words. 
“I just stopped crying,” she complained with a whine that made you laugh. “Don’t make me start again!”
“Okay! Okay,” you caved and leaned back to look at her again. “Why don’t we go home now?” She hesitated for a moment before nodding decisively. 
The three of you stood up and you offered your hand to Ah-yi without a second of hesitation, something you could see in her eyes she appreciated. 
“Ah-yi,” Hyun-su said as the boat came into view in front of you all. You’d stopped by the lake where you saved her all those months ago on the way back and spent a few hours there. Both of you could tell she didn’t really want to go home yet so you extended the day as long as you could. 
She hummed and looked over at him from where you had her propped up on your back in a piggyback ride. She had stepped on a rock and dramatically complained about it until one of you just decided to pick her up and bring her along. 
That someone being you. 
“I…” he hesitated and you freed up a hand to reach over and give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I need you to do me a favor. When we get back, I need you to go easy on your mom.”
You could feel her body tensing on your back, not expecting his words to be that. You quickly intervened. “We don’t expect you to forgive her anytime soon. Hell, I don’t really expect you to ever forgive her, but I think we both agree that you should give her another chance,” you told her. She huffed and rested her chin on your head childishly. “We’ll talk to her whenever we get back and tell her what she did was wrong, but she was only trying to keep you with her.”
There were a few moments where Ah-yi stayed silent as you walked and you got nervous about what her reaction would be until she sighed. 
“Fine.”
You sighed in relief and smiled. What you wouldn’t tell her is that the ‘talk’ you would be having would most likely be a screaming match between the two of you while Hyun-su tried to be the mediator. 
It had been about a month since that day and you’d stayed with Ah-yi and Yi-kyung for about half of it. The rest of the time, you and Hyun-su traveled through the city together, enjoying the feeling of being free with each other and occasionally spying on the soldiers of the stadium when they went out on their supply runs. 
“I have a bad feeling,” Hyun-su told you one day while the two of you were washing a muddied shirt in the river. 
“Let’s go check it out then,” you told him, standing up and wiping your hands on your trousers but he held his hand up. 
“I… I don’t think you should come with me.”
You looked at him, feeling shocked and slightly hurt but masking it under a calm exterior. “O-oh. Oka-”
“I just mean it feels dangerous. I don’t really know how to explain it,” he interrupted you quickly, hesitantly taking one of your hands and squeezing it reassuringly. 
You gave him a small frown. “But I don’t want you to be in any danger either.”
He smiled confidently at you and stared deeply into your eyes. “I promise I will be okay. Just stay in the shed until I get back. I’ll be back in a few hours at most.”
After a moment of hesitation, your eyes flicking between the broken down shed behind you and Hyun-su’s dark mocha brown eyes, you nodded in agreement. He smiled at you before turning in the opposite direction and starting to walk away. Just as he started to get out of arm's length, you tightened the grip you had around his hand. He turned back to you, tilting his head in question but your head was down, your eyes focused on his hand where you gently played with his fingers. 
“Please return to me,” you whispered, barely audible to him and he sighed. Taking a step forward, he wrapped his arms around you, one resting on the back of your head and the other around your waist. 
“I will, Lucky. I always will.”
Eun-yu walked down the empty street of the city, darkness clouding every corner and making her jump at every noise. She wasn’t nearly as experienced as you when it came to venturing off alone and outside of the stadium so it was all new to her. This was her first time out of the stadium, let alone all by herself, and she had barely any idea of what to do or where to go. It all started when she was waiting for you at the exit you used to go through when you went on your personal expeditions. 
She wasn’t dumb. She knew you were leaving every day and trying to hurt yourself, yet every day you came back safe. Maybe a little broken and bruised at times, but alive nonetheless. Despite the two of you not being close, she still cared about you more than anything. You were the closest thing to a friend that she had. She was positive you didn’t remember this, but she had helped comfort you one night as you cried after another - but also thankfully your last - attempt to leave this world. You told her about the force that kept you alive, protecting you from monsters and from yourself. You told her about how you blame yourself for Hyun-su’s disappearance and how he was most likely dead. You told her everything. Afterward, you ended up passing out in her embrace and sleeping the entirety of the next day away while she stayed by your side to ward off anyone wanting to wake you. 
Once you woke up, you seemed normal. The same expressionless look on your face as you went on with your day. It stayed that way for a long time. Eun-yu tried her best to do subtle things to help you; to make you feel more wanted and make you blame yourself less.
Until one day, you never came back. 
You leaving and never returning is what led her to be standing at the exit not even a week ago, feeding some of her rations to a small stray kitten. It’s what led her to stay there even when Chan-young approached her and asked her what she was doing. It’s what made her stay even after a young girl she hadn’t recognized revealed herself. It’s what made her stay despite the pleas to go back inside from Chan-young and allowed her to see the woman she thought had died show up and take the girl with her. 
It is also what led her here, all alone looking for you or the girl or Yi-kyung. Whilst finding you was her main goal, she would be satisfied with any of the three. 
She lost Chan-young somewhere along the way after he was poisoned by the girl accompanying that old man but she didn’t let that deter her. 
Now, in the dark shadows looming over the alleyways she walked through, a long metal pipe clutched in one of her hands, she searched the abandoned city with the need to find you forcing down any fear she was feeling. The unoccupied hand had an old piece of clothing wrapped around it, protecting any dirt from getting into the wound where she protected Yeong-su from that soldier.
She often wondered if you knew how much you inspired her to be brave and protect those around her.
After some time, she found herself standing in front of a large greenhouse. Most of the windows were broken and she could see the plants inside had overgrown their once pristinely gardened form, but it was gorgeous regardless. The moonlight shone through the broken glass and cast spotlights of glimmering luminescence across the vegetation. She took a moment to admire everything, noting how you would’ve loved a space like this until she heard a growling sound from behind her and her guard immediately went back up. Moving the pipe so it was tightly grasped in her hands like a baseball bat, she held it defensively and slowly crept closer to the source of the growling. The large crater in the ground made her sick, reminding her of the tragedy that happened less than a year ago when the government tried to kill as many people as possible in order to ‘save humanity from itself.’ 
As she got closer, she raised the pipe over her head, ready to strike at any moment. The growling of the monster got louder as she approached and she prepared herself to swing until-
“He won’t attack you.”
Eun-yu turned around, facing the new voice and seeing the same girl from before. She lowered the pipe, letting it hang loosely at her side as the girl took slow steps toward her. Since she was almost positive this girl would have nothing to do with you, she instead asked about Yi-kyung. “I’m looking for Yi-kyung. You know where she is, right?” The girl stayed silent, gradually getting closer as she continued with her measured footsteps. “I have to meet with her.”
The two girls stared at each other as the younger girl approached. Silence stilled the air until it was broken.
“Mom… the people… they’re all bad.”
“Did you say ‘Mom’?” Eun-yu questioned, her face portraying her confusion and shock.
‘She couldn’t mean Yi-’
“You’re no different,” the girl concluded, taking her last few steps forward more quickly and launching Eun-yu down into the hole behind her. Feeling the ground disappear from below her feet and the wind rush through her hair, she screamed. 
A scream.
A scream was what stopped you from continuing your washing of Hyun-su and your clothes. You snapped your head in the direction of the noise so fast you were worried you got whiplash. Unconsciously clutching the current piece of clothing you’d been washing in your hands, you started sprinting in the direction of the noise. As you got closer, the area around you got brighter and you noticed it becoming increasingly more familiar to you. It was when you saw the familiar metal canisters that you realized you were near the boat.
It was also when you realized the boat was on fire. 
You gasped as you saw the flames licking away at the deck in the distance, pushing your body past its limits as you forced yourself to go faster, faster, faster. You were beyond terrified at the implications the fire had.
‘Was this the bad feeling Hyun-su had?’ You asked yourself. You tried your best to stay as positive as possible until you got there but it was difficult with all the possibilities swirling in your mind. However, there was one possibility you clung to: while the boat burning was bad in itself, maybe nobody was on it.
Maybe.
When you got to the stairs of the boat, you climbed them as quickly as you could, ignoring the pain in your foot when you slipped down one and ended up stepping on it wrong.
‘That’s a problem for later.’
You got to the top, not seeing anybody in the burning embers surrounding you. Quickly covering your mouth with the still-damp piece of fabric in your hands and thanking yourself for unconsciously holding onto it, you ran around the top of the deck, looking for any signs of life while simultaneously praying for none. Seeing nothing, your mind ran at a hundred miles per hour as you tried to decide if that was a good or bad thing. 
“Cha Hyun-su!” You screamed out, the use of his last name representing your evident panic. “Seo Ah-yi!” It was when you circled the captain’s quarters that you saw a familiar lean body. “Seo Yi-kyung!” 
You rushed forward, sliding down to your knees as you reached her and turning her onto her back. You winced as you saw the burn marks and ash littering across the side of her face. You brought the wet clothing down from where it covered your mouth and nose, quickly replacing it with the cuff of your jacket as you used the wet fabric to cover Yi-kyung’s nose. The fire caught onto your pants and you scrambled to put it out, letting out muffled screams into your sleeve as it burned your skin. 
You watched as the small baby monster you knew to be Ah-yi’s friend approached you and Yi-kyung. You were mainly confused about why it showed up here willingly, usually, monsters were terrified of fire and would avoid it at all costs but that didn’t seem to be the case. 
“Go away! Get out of here!” You screamed at the baby but it just babbled at you, running up to you and setting out the fire on your pants. Then, it began to circle around the two of you, using its body to roll out any fire that got too close. You quietly sobbed, your tears feeling like ice against your flaming skin. “Thank you,” you whispered to the small creature, feeling so grateful yet guilty for the way it was putting itself in danger for you. 
Suddenly, as you felt yourself fading out of consciousness, the exhaustion from the run over, and the pain in your foot getting to you, you heard a familiar voice call out for you.
“Lucky!”
Hyun-su...
Eun-yu screamed out as she fell until she quieted, accepting her death to be by falling down a large hole while not knowing if her only friend was dead or alive. Just as she lost all hope, the sound of something whipping through the wind above caught her attention along with a familiar large wing made of bone and muscle only. It was only for a moment that she caught a glimpse of the boy’s face before his arm wrapped around her body and they shot up. 
Reaching the top, Hyun-su swung around so his body would take the brunt of the fall and they crashed. Sliding across the concrete, he used his wing to slow them down as much as possible and keep her as unharmed as he could. Barely taking a minute to breathe when they came to a stop, Hyun-su opened his arm and rolled Eun-yu off before standing back up. 
“Cha Hyun-su,” the girl tried, struggling to lift herself from the ground. Receiving no response as he continued walking toward Ah-yi, who was watching curiously from the other side of the crater, she tried again. “Cha Hyun-su!” She finally made it to her feet as she screamed.
Hyun-su let out a breath. He took a moment to force his eyes to return to their natural state instead of the endless void that would consume him when in his monster state before slowly turning around to face her.
“Are you really just gonna leave like that?” She asked him, more quietly this time as he faced her. His wing flapped lightly at his side, whistling through the wind in an ethereally beautiful way. 
At least, that’s how you would often describe it.
“Were you expecting a hug or something?” He asked her in a blank tone and she looked at him with exasperated annoyance. 
“Yeah, I was. I expected at least a ‘Glad to see you. How’ve you been?’” She retorted back at him, getting angrier by the moment at the completely blank look on his face. 
“But I’m not glad to see you,” he told her and she couldn’t help but expect it. She knew they weren’t close. Nowhere near as close as you were with Hyun-su. You always tried so hard to make him feel included, to fight for his rights even when Eun-hyuk kept you as far away from him as possible. After you tried to break the lock of the door that one time, he gave strict instructions to everyone who had a guard duty that they were not to allow you near the room. You would always leave Eun-hyuk with the same phrase after each failed attempt to see the boy.
“You’re a coward. You won’t go up the stairs to retrieve the residents’ items yourself and then you treat the man who does do it like scum. I can’t believe you.”
It was what made her like you in the first place. While she knew you and Hyun-su had known each other for a brief period before the apocalypse, she couldn’t help but admire how you stood up for the boy without a second thought. She was pretty sure she realized your feelings for him before even you did. 
“You weren’t supposed to know how to leave the stadium. You should’ve just stayed away,” Hyun-su’s voice broke her out of her brief flash of memories. 
“It was you all along…” she started, taking a stuttering step toward him. “That night with the rope… all the times she tried to kill herself… it was you who saved her, wasn’t it?”
By the lack of surprise or questioning on his face, she knew her answer. They stayed silent for a few more seconds, Eun-yu waiting for an answer and Hyun-su trying to provide one. Though his face remained monotonous, he was trying to come up with an answer that wouldn’t give her too much information but would satisfy her concern and need to know. 
“We crossed paths. I figured since we weren’t strangers I might as well help her out. I know what it’s like. She doesn’t deserve that kind of a death. That’s it. Nothing more,” he looked at her, making sure his words weren’t just floating in one ear and out the other. “You understand?” 
Without waiting for her to respond, he turned around again, rolling his eyes.
‘I have to get back to-’ 
“That’s bullshit and we both know it!” Eun-yu yelled from behind him, interrupting his thoughts. She took fast purposeful steps toward him as she continued to speak. “You’re in love with her, she was your everythin-!”
Hyun-su brought his wing down and scraped the concrete behind him, only a few feet away from where Eun-yu was standing. She held her breath, waiting for his next move and cursing herself for the shiver of fear that ran up her spine at his actions.
‘You would never fear him like this.’
Seeing him not make any more moves, she tried again. Prying her feet off the floor from where the strange acid was kicked up by the large appendage, she started walking again only for Hyun-su to slam his wing down again. This time, the toe of her front boot had melted off and she could see the black socks she wore underneath peeking through. She mentally slapped herself for how the breath she let out was shaky. Forcing herself to peel her boots off the ground again, she tried to take another step when suddenly a hand latched onto her bicep and pulled her back, sending her tumbling to the ground. 
“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” The large man, Ho-sang+ asked. His shoulders were draped with a homemade camouflage outfit made of grass and hay. The man raised his shotgun, aiming it toward Hyun-su who had still yet to turn around. “You monster piece of shit, what are you doing here?” The boy turned to look over his shoulder at the new voice. “Get gone!”
Right as Hyun-su turned back around to keep walking, Eun-yu spoke up again.
“Wait!” She scrambled to her feet, intending on running over to Hyun-su but the older man grabbed her shoulders and held her back. “Cha Hyun-su. Cha Hyun-su!” He came to a halt again and it was enough of a tell he was waiting for her to continue. “She…” she began, hesitating to tell him this in case her gut feeling was wrong. “She’s been missing for months. Do you know… I mean… is she…” She couldn't force herself to get her words out, only able to speak in between shaky breaths as she started to think of the worst possible outcomes. If her gut feeling was wrong and you weren’t really with Hyun-su, she didn’t know what she would do.  
Hyun-su turned back around to look at her over his shoulder. Keeping eye contact with her for a few moments as he debated whether to tell her or not, he relented.
“She’s alive.”
Turning back around, he could hear the breaths of relief Eun-yu and the older man both released, albeit for different reasons. 
Following Ah-yi, they both walked away from the two humans. He waited until they got to the edge of the river to start talking.
“Why did you do that?”
“I don't like her,” Ah-yi responded.
“So why don't you like her?” He pushed, 
“Every human is the same. She’s no different,” she yelled angrily before her voice dropped to a mumble he was just barely able to hear. “The only human to be an exception is Unni.”
Hyun-su looked at her when she stopped, the anger being shown clearly on her face and he was confused about why she was so riled up. The quiet atmosphere was only interrupted by the hooting of the owls in the nearby trees. 
“I was curious about humans at first… because both Mom and Unni are human. So I said ‘hi’ and they…” She took a shaky breath in before continuing. “They hurt me. They yelled and they pushed and... and they hurt me too. And they killed all my friends and monsters!” She screamed out, her voice heavy with raw emotion. “Leaving just me.”
“They were just scared,” Hyun-su tried to soothe her anger and pain as her eyes filled with tears. “Afraid of losing someone.”
“Then I'll give them a reason. Show them how scary it was,” her heavy breathing slowly evened out and Hyun-su sighed. He knew you would be able to help her with a situation like this better than he would. From the very first day, you always seemed to have a way of calming her down and helping her through the more difficult times.
“Let's get out of here. Yeah?” He suggested as tears began to fall down her cheeks, hitting the pavement below with an imperceptible plop. 
“There's no place for me. My house is gone,” she told him. 
“What… do you mean?” He asked after a few silent beats. 
“I… no longer need you. Not you, or Mom…” she paused to calm herself but couldn’t stop the sob that came with her next words. “Or Unni. Not anymore.”
Hyun-su let out a slight gasp before sprinting in the direction of the boat. He hoped his suspicions were wrong. He hoped Ah-yi wouldn’t do that to her mother.
But he knew she would.
He’d heard the countless nights you spent with her in your arms as you consoled her and reassured her about her mother’s love when she was positive it no longer existed. He knew how much she hated the woman who gave birth to her, hated her for the love she once had but lost on that fateful day. 
Hyun-su ignored the sharp pain in his lungs as he sprinted toward the boat, cursing lightly when he saw the fire engulfing it from afar. Finally reaching it, he ran around looking desperately for Yi-kyung and screaming her name. 
It wasn’t until he found both her and you lying on the ground that his panic started to take over. 
“Lucky!” He screamed, running towards you and dropping to his knees. He quickly picked both of you up, the weight not a struggle for him but the positioning of your bodies being a bit awkward. He ended up with Yi-kyung on his back piggyback style and you being held in his arms like his bride. Seeing the small creature passed out only a few feet away, he picked it up too and put it on your lap as he walked off the boat, letting the home full of memories burn itself to the ground forevermore. 
Hyun-su walked towards the swan boat about a quarter mile away from the boat. Gently setting Yi-kyung down first, he placed you down with your head in his lap. He cursed himself. He couldn’t believe he had just left you alone. He couldn’t believe you would go into such a dangerous place willingly. 
But then again, he couldn’t be surprised. You were like that, so selfless and kind. If you saw the boat on fire you would never allow yourself to stay behind while there was a potential of the people you loved being on that boat. 
He was thankful you at least were smart enough to cover your nose and mouth when you were there. The ripped and slightly scorched shirt covering Yi-kyung’s mouth was one he recognized to be yours. And although it wasn’t a great replacement, he saw how the cuff of your jacket sleeve was loosely placed over your own mouth, slipping once you’d fallen unconscious. 
As he was picking the bits of seared wood and singed fabric from your hair, a small whisper of his name drew his attention behind him to Yi-kyung.
“Hyun-su…”
He turned around, making sure not to jostle you around too much as he looked at her. Her face was burned, fresh wounds scarring the flesh of her cheeks that would forever alter her appearance. 
“Are you okay, Yi-kyung?”
“It’s all my fault it’s like this,” she started. Hyun-su stayed silent as she continued. “I just wanted her to be safe like you were,” she whimpered, it was unclear whether it was from the pain on her skin or the pain in her heart. “All I wanted was for her to…” she sobbed but no tears came out yet. She was dehydrated and wounded and it was clear she wouldn’t make it without medical help they no longer had. 
“It wasn’t your fault,” Hyun-su refuted.
Yi-kyung groaned as she sat up, leaning heavily against the edge of the swan boat. “I should’ve killed her.”
Hyun-su’s eyes widened at her words. While he knew that was what she had wanted when her baby was first born, he didn’t know it was still something she thought about. 
“In the back of my mind, I always had that thought. I know she must’ve felt it when I had those thoughts,” she breathed heavily, her breaths sounding gritty and labored. She looked at the girl lying in Hyun-su’s lap, feeling angry, regretful, and jealous, but mostly grateful. Grateful she had at least you to look up to and show her the way when she couldn’t. “I know she would always tell her about how she hated me,” she pointed at you weakly. “I know she always saw her as more of a mother than she did me.” 
“You’re wrong,” Hyun-su protested. “While Ah-yi loves Lucky, she needs you as her mother. I know because I was there too through all those days,” he looked down at you, eyes still shut and sweat clinging to your skin. “So was she,” he breathed out a sigh and looked back at Yi-kyung. “You said you were a bad mother, but you know that’s just not true.”
“The fault is all mine,” tears fell down her cheeks as she spoke, a soothing touch to her wounded face. “I was the one who made her like this,” she blamed herself, Hyun-su’s reassuring words either not registering in her brain or being completely ignored. “No, this is good,” she accepted. She knew her end would be soon. “It turning out like this is for the best. This way, I… I don’t have to kill my daughter.,” she sobbed.
“Were you really going to kill her?” He asked incredulously. At her lack of response, he continued. “Why? You’re her mother! So why?” 
“I don’t deserve to be,” she cut him off. “I could never be worthy of her, not when I treated her so differently than you did. Than she did,” she explained. She couldn’t fathom saying your name, feeling unworthy of being near you when she always had those terrible thoughts of hurting her own flesh and blood. You had always treated her so much better than she had, treating her like your own daughter, whether it was by blood or not. “I had the same thought hundreds of times. ‘Why is she cursed like this?’ Why?” She started sobbing again, the guilt and blame she put on herself for the past year torturing her soul. “It’s all my fault. My awful thoughts and desires turned her… into a… monster.”
Hyun-su scoffed. “Yeah, so what?” He looked at her and the surprise of his words stopped her crying. “Are monsters really all bad?”
Yi-kyung sighed and just as Hyun-su was going to continue talking, the soft babbling of the baby monster sounded out again, drawing both their attention to the mini creature. He gently picked it up, holding it in his arms as he spoke again. “This one saved you. Saved both of you. Saved you because you’re family…” his eyes filled with tears but he refused to let his voice break. “You see, monsters feel and recognize people. Because they were human once too.”
He hugged the monster to his chest, and the conversation ended when Yi-kyung faded out of consciousness. 
The group sat around the campfire, Ha-ni snuggled up against Chan-young’s side while the other two sat alone.
“So, which is it?” Eun-yu asked. “A brother? A boss? A dad? What are you to each other?”
“Why the hell does it matter? Just eat and get lost,” the older man evaded the question. 
“Um… why don’t you come back with us? You’ll be safer there,” Park Chan-young offered and Ha-ni’s head perked up in excitement. 
“Are we getting married then?” She asked, moving closer to his side and resting her head against his shoulder.
“Uh, that’s… that’s not what I’m saying,” he repudiated. 
“Safe? You guys have just been lucky,” the older man rolled his eyes at the suggestion. “That, or you don’t know better.”
“I think you might be underestimating some of us.”
“I don’t trust humans, okay?” He concluded.
“I’m not surprised. But you don’t trust monsters either?” Eun-yu integrated herself into the conversation once more. “And what about her?” She asked, tilting her head at Ha-ni. “You trust her?” He didn’t respond and it was silent for a minute. “Sure seems like it.”
Ha-ni, noticing how the atmosphere was turning strange and uncomfortable, interrupted. “Let’s go with them. Let’s go together, teacher, hmm?” She insisted, leaning forward in her seat to emphasize her wants. “Hey, let’s go!”
The older man looked thoughtful for a moment, considering his companion’s words before noticing something in the distance. 
“What are you doing here?” He screamed accusingly, raising his shotgun threateningly toward the figure approaching. 
Hyun-su walked forward. Yi-kyung was tied against his back using the long-sleeved shirt you used to cover your mouth in the fire meanwhile you were held in his arms, cradled against his chest protectively. 
He raised his head slightly to look at them, continuing his stride forward despite the threat of the gun in front of him. 
In the blink of an eye, Ha-ni appeared next to Ho-sang as he held the gun and moved his arms, forcing it to face the ground just as he pulled the trigger. It hit the rocks harmlessly and she looked at Hyun-su curiously. 
Taking a deep breath, he slowly lowered himself to his knees and placed Yi-kyung on the ground after untying her. Keeping you in his arms as he rose again, he held you close as Eun-yu rushed forward. Stopping just a foot in front of him, she looked down at you in shock. She reached her hand out to caress your cheek but stopped herself at the last second. 
“Please help,” Hyun-su begged and Eun-yu lifted her chin to look at him. “This was the only place I could turn to.”
Both Chan-young and Ha-ni walked over to where Yi-kyung was lying on the ground, kneeling down to properly assess the damage on her body. 
“How did she get like this? And the kid? The girl who left with you?” Eun-yu asked before looking down at you still in Hyun-su’s arms and finally allowing her fingers to skim along the feverish skin of your cheek as she whispered your name, stunned. “And what about her? Is she okay? Why isn’t she awake?”
“First, let’s get them both inside,” Chan-young stopped her questioning before Hyun-su could respond. Ha-ni helped him prop the woman on her back, fully intending to bring her into the trailer until a gunshot sounded. 
Eun-yu froze in shock, paralyzed by seeing Hyun-su stumble back with a gunshot to the shoulder. He fell to his knees once more, his grip on you loosening but refusing to let go. He gently set your lower body down onto his lap, his now free hand going to hold his wounded shoulder while the other held your upper body to his chest. He ignored the anger that stirred in his chest when he saw how close the shot came to your face, just missing by a few inches. Clenching his eyes closed tightly and blocking out the sound of everyone talking and screaming around him, he forced the familiar feeling of his monster down. When he finally looked up and opened his eyes he saw Eun-yu holding Ha-ni against her chest with blade centimeters from her neck. 
“- and I’ll cut her fucking head off.”
Ha-ni scoffed at her words with an annoyed smile but didn’t try to fight back or move away. 
“Way to prove my point about humans,” Ho-sang told her, not lowering his gun. “Pulling this shit after I saved your life is rich.”
“I said I’ll take him with me. I said I’ll take them so just… what's your problem?” Eun-yu begged the man, tears forming along her waterline as the situation continued to go downhill. 
“You’re with monsters,” Ho-sang explained, glaring at her from his spot. “That makes you a threat. And you call yourself human? Jesus.”
“You call yourself human when you just almost shot a girl in the face? He might not be human but she is!” She screamed at him and continued when she saw the flicker of guilt in his eyes. “And what makes you special? How can you be sure you’re gonna stay immune?” She questioned but he stayed silent. “What if you were to start showing symptoms? Seems a bullet is your only option. Since monsters have to die.”
Hyun-su groaned in pain before trying to stop her from baiting the man. “Stop it,” his words were spoken weakly as more blood spilled from his wound. He covered it with the fabric of his shirt, trying to avoid getting as much blood on you as possible but the splatters of blood across your forehead and cheeks told him it was already a bit too late for that. 
“And her?” Eun-yu continued, ignoring the boy’s warnings and protests as she started to speak about Ha-ni. “Could you put a bullet in her?” Her words were spoken softly but Ho-sang heard it loud and clear. He stayed quiet again, not willing to speak of the situation he feared the most. “How about I save you the trouble?” She offered.
“Oh, yeah. So this is who you are,” he finally spoke, nodding in disdain at her actions. 
“Stop it,” Hyun-su tried again but again was ignored. “Don’t do this Eun-yu,” he begged. 
Suddenly, Ha-ni grabbed the wrist holding the knife to her throat, and twisted it away from herself, spinning around so the knife was now in her possession and the tip was pointing directly at Eun-yu’s neck. There was a collective gasp from everyone watching and Ho-sang lowered his guns in shock. “Ha-ni!” He yelled at her as she stuck the point of the blade in Eun-yu’s neck, causing a trail of blood to leak out. 
After a moment of tense silence, she pulled the knife away and dropped it to the floor where it clattered against the rocks loudly. Pushing her forward, she walked over and entered her car, entering it and called for Ho-sang to join her. 
“In this life, we weren’t meant to be,” she started, talking to Chan-young as her companion got into the car and started it up. “Maybe the next one. Get rid of the girl though.”
The group watched as the two drove off before Chan-young turned to Hyun-su. “Are you okay to move? How’s your shoulder?”
Hyun-su pulled his hand away, the wound already having closed and the blood surrounding it was the only reminder that it was ever there in the first place. He nodded. “It’s okay.”
Chan-young took a few steps closer to him before kneeling beside him and looking at where you rested in his arms. The pain from your ankle and slight burns showed on your leg but you luckily didn’t seem to have any difficulty breathing or major damage. “And her? Are you still okay to carry her?” 
Hyun-su nodded once again while he moved his empty hand to once again rest under your knees and stood up. “Yes, I’m okay.”
“I think we’d better go. Monsters may have heard the gunfire,” Chan-young concluded and walked behind Hyun-su as he started the path to his chosen destination, whatever that place may be.
Eun-yu kneeled down to grab her bag and knife before looking back at Hyun-su. “Let’s go.”
He sighed as she started to walk behind him, taking a moment to look at you and make sure you were alright before he followed. He would have to wipe his shoulder down and clean the blood from your face before you woke up. He didn’t feel like worrying you about his injury just yet. 
Sighing once more, he turned around and started to follow the two. 
They arrived at the destination Chan-young had brought them to. It was a hospital, or at least it used to be. As they got inside, there was broken glass everywhere and scratches from an unnatural creature lining the floor. It was clear it was no longer the medical place it used to be. 
Setting Yi-kyung down on the hospital bed they found, Chan-young turned to Hyun-su and asked, “What happened to her?”
“A fire started where she was staying,” he started to explain, still holding you since all the other hospital beds they could find were not exactly clean. At least the one Yi-kyung was lying on didn’t have any blood stains on it. He didn’t mind though. “I think there was no way out. She was already unconscious by the time I made it in.”
“It’s carbon monoxide poisoning,” Chan-young concluded from the evidence provided before standing up urgently and turning to Eun-yu. “Something like a small gas tank should be lying around. Go look for some,” he then turned to Hyun-su who was getting ready to stand and help them. “You should probably stay here,” he told him and Hyun-su stayed silent for a moment as he looked at you in his arms before nodding in agreement. He moved to lean against the wall as the other two went off in different directions to search for the gas tank. 
After a while, there was the faint sound of someone yelling, “I found one!” Soon after, both Eun-yu and Chan-young returned to the bed, the boy carrying a gas tank in his hands which he set up next to it. Expertly, he plugged the tube into the tank and turned the air on, testing the pressure and how much oxygen was left in the tank. 
“Does it work?” Eun-yu asked just as the arrow pointed to ‘REFILL’ and Chan-young sighed. “What? What is it?”
“It’s out of oxygen,” he explained.
“So what happens now?”
“Her organs will start to fail without… without a steady supply of oxygen,” he told them before his head fell forward. “Fuck me.”
“Enough of that crap. Is there any other way?” Eun-yu begged, unwillingly to give up so soon. 
“It’s already too late.”
“Don’t say that unless you’ve tried everything,” she told him seriously, she then moved over to start picking Yi-kyung up by her arms. “Park Chan-young, help me carry her. Let’s get her to the stadium. We have to leave now,” she ordered but he didn’t move and Hyun-su just buried his head in your hair emotionally. “I said help me carry her!” She sobbed, setting her back down when he still didn’t try to help her and covering her face with her hands. 
The group just finished moving both you and Yi-kyung to another room, this one finally having another bed that wasn’t stained with blood and smelling of a rotting corpse. Chan-young helped Eun-yu carry Yi-kyung to the room while Hyun-su held you close, only letting you go when they found the bed for you to lie on. 
Despite how his monster body protested, he allowed Eun-yu to have a moment alone with you and Yi-kyung in the room, choosing instead to wait on the bench outside. He saw through the crack in the door how she held your hand gently and spoke words he couldn’t hear. He watched as she set your hand down across your stomach and retreated from the room to sit on the bench with him, leaving an empty seat between them. 
“Are you feeling better?” Hyun-su asked her once she sat down. She sighed quietly and he took that as her response. “We did the best we could.”
“Are you comfortable with this?” She asked him, not understanding how he could be so calm in a moment like this. “Is leaving her to die like that really the right thing to do?”
“Now that I think about it… I think it’s what she wanted,” he construed and she turned her head to look at him. 
“What?”
“Her boat was deliberately burned, but she chose to stay aboard.”
“Why, though?” Eun-yu whispered. “Why would Yi-kyung do that?”
“I wanna ask you something,” Hyun-su told her and she stayed quiet as she waited for him to speak. “How’s everyone doing? I’ve tried asking Lucky but she always gets really quiet when I do.”
Eun-yu’s lips quirked up minutely at the familiar term of endearment but the memory of her grief overwhelmed it. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself before answering him. “Hye-in and Su-yeong are dead. And Yoon Ji-su, too.”
Now Hyun-su knew why you would never talk about it, why you would always get quiet and have that far-away look in your eyes when he asked. He always figured you just didn’t know, that maybe you got separated at some point, but somewhere deep down he knew that was just wishful thinking. While he hated that you didn’t confide in him, he understood where you were coming from. Even a year isn’t always enough time to heal enough to talk about something so tragic. 
“Just like that, they’re all gone,” she continued in a whisper. He turned his head away from her as a tear fell down his cheek before she spoke up more loudly this time, masking the emotion in her voice with false confidence. “Now let me ask you a question,” she said. He turned to look at her but she was looking in the direction of where you lay on the hospital bed, head tilted to the side as you breathed easily. “How is she doing, really? Is she better?” Her voice almost broke as she unwillingly thought back to how you were feeling during your time in the stadium but she was able to mask it with a cough. While she was hoping you were doing better now that you were with Hyun-su and hopefully didn’t blame yourself for his disappearance anymore, she had to be sure.
“She’s doing good. She still has her bad days but overall she’s doing better.”
She breathed a sigh of relief, a single tear falling down her cheek. “Thank you.”
He turned his head to look back at her and saw she was now staring at him. “Hm?”
“You brought her back to me. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t at least see her one more time. If I didn’t make sure she was still alive. So thank you.” 
He nodded. “Of course.”
“I also,” she continued. “Want to thank you for returning to her,” she shot him a watery smile as her eyes brimmed with tears. “God knows she deserves it.”
When you woke up, the first things you saw were the blaring lights of the white lighting fixture above you. Groaning, you brought a hand up to cover your eyes and turned your head only to gasp when you saw the burned face of Yi-kyung on the bed next to yours. Quickly throwing your legs over the side of the bed and standing up to check on her, you let out a yelp of pain as you stepped on your wounded ankle and crumpled to the floor. 
Breathing heavily, you cursed yourself before hearing the sound of fast-paced footsteps entering the room you were in. You leaned up on one hand and saw a face you’d longed to see for weeks. 
“Eun-yu?”
The girl snapped her head to where you sat and gasped out your name, running toward you and crouching down. She grabbed your arms and helped you stand up, making you sit on the edge of the bed so she could check out your foot. 
“How are you feeling?” She asked, concerned but all you could think about was the woman breathing unevenly on the bed behind her. 
“Fine, fine,” you said dismissively, only half listening to her concerns. “How is Yi-kyung? Is she okay?”
Eun-yu slapped your arm lightly. “You were passed out for half a day, let me worry about you.”
You gave a small chuckle at her words, reaching your arms out to wrap around her shoulders. “It’s good to see you, Eun-yu. I’ve missed you.”
She exhaled slowly, wrapping her own arms around you and letting herself relax in your embrace. 
“Wait, what am I doing here?” You asked as you softly pushed her away from you. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the stadium? Are you okay?” You gasped, firing questions at her like a machine gun prior to grabbing the sides of her puffy jacket sleeves and pulling her a few inches closer as you looked her over for any injuries. Other than the small wound on her neck, she seemed to be relatively unharmed.
“That doesn’t matter right now,” she scolded lightly and lifted your wounded and swollen ankle up. “First, we should fix this up. I’m sure there’s some tape or something around here,” she started to walk away but turned back to look at you. “Don’t move,” she scolded with a finger pointed at you accusingly. You held your hands up in a surrender motion and laughed. 
After a while of looking around the room, she walked back with a wad of medical tape in her hand. You watched in awe as she started to expertly wrap your foot with the medical tape in a way that would help keep it in place. Noticing your stare, she explained. “I used to do ballet. I sprained my ankle and had to do this every day.”
“Well lucky me then,” you told her with a smile that she returned once she finished. She then cut the ripped pant leg off at the knee and cut the singed parts off. Using the burned-free part of the fabric, she gave you her hand to squeeze as she poured the clear liquid inside a bottle of vodka on your burns. You screamed and stuffed your sleeve into your mouth, both stopping yourself from breaking your teeth and muffling your pained noises. After finishing disinfecting the wound, she got to work on wrapping the cut fabric around your burns to prevent any further dirt from entering it.
Breathing heavily through your pain, you grabbed the nearly empty bottle of vodka after she set it down and lifted it to your nose. 
It looked like vodka.
It smelled like vodka.
Taking a sip, your face scrunched up in displeasure. 
Definitely vodka, although something was off. 
“Why is it so watery?” You asked her. Eun-yu’s head snapped up to see you bring the bottle to your lips again to take another sip. 
Grabbing the bottle away from you, she smirked and brought the bottle to her lips, drinking the last of the liquid while you whined. After sighing overexaggeratedly, she smiled at you and handed the bottle back to you. You shot her a glare “For one, when are you ever going to find a steal like that again? Had to make sure it lasted!” You laughed. “And second, regular vodka is too potent to use as a disinfectant by itself, you have to water it down so you don’t burn away your nerves.”
She secured the fabric with the medical tape and tapped your knee to signal she was finished. She helped you down from the table and let you wrap an arm around her shoulder as you limped over to the bench outside of the room. You thanked her just as you saw another familiar face appear around the corner. “Park Chan-young? What are you doing here?”
“Ah, you’re awake! How are you feeling?” He asked instead of answering your question. 
“I’m feeling okay, my ankle hurts a little but not too bad,” you told him with a smile before it faded and your head turned to look at Yi-kyung through the still-opened door. “She’s not going to make it, she?”
You heard the two of them sigh behind you and you let out a shaky breath. Tilting your head up, you tried to stop the tears from falling. 
It was silent for a while, the only sounds were the ragged breathing from Yi-kyung in the next room until Chan-young spoke. 
“Cha Hyun-su, was it?” He asked and your head snapped up to look at him while Eun-yu who was sitting beside you didn’t even flinch. “That’s the monster that killed Mr. Kim, right?”
You opened your mouth to ask what he meant when Eun-yu spoke before you could.
“It gets on my nerves when you use the word ‘kill’.”
He sat down next to her and leaned forward in his chair with his elbows resting on his knees. “Well, nonetheless, that’s how it went down.”
“Your curiosity will cost you someday,” at his silence to her words, she sighed and continued. “Mr. Kim was displaying symptoms.”
The news of this story was no surprise to you. While you weren’t there when it happened, you do remember how Eun-yu had relayed the story to you only a few nights after the incident. You didn’t know she knew it was Hyun-su though, and to be honest you felt slightly betrayed. 
“I don’t know when it’d begun.”
“Wait,” Chan-young started, gasping at the new information. “But why didn’t you say anything? You were branded as a murderer.”
“The Chief and I have had… a long-standing grudge. Yet we all lived because she opened the stadium to us. I can’t deny that. I just couldn’t screw her over like that.”
You quietly gasped. Despite the information not being new to you, you hadn’t known the reason she never spoke up was because of that. 
“Lee Eun-yu,” Chan-young said softly.
“Eun-yu, you shouldn’t have done that to yourself,” you scolded her quietly. 
“Don’t get me wrong. That wasn’t the only reason,” she continued, leaning back in her seat. “I didn’t know it was Hyun-su, but… either way, I didn’t want to tell Crow Platoon.”
Oh. So Eun-yu didn’t know it was Hyun-su. That definitely made you feel better than the idea of her knowing this entire time and just not telling you. 
When a sudden gasp was heard from the room Yi-kyung was in, all of your heads snapped up and Chan-young and Eun-yu rushed into the room. You stood up, hopping over to lean against the entrance when you slipped. 
Just as your hand missed grabbing the frame of the door, you felt an arm wrap around your waist and pull you back up. Turning your head to look at your savior, you were surprised to see Hyun-su with his arm supporting you and Ah-yi standing beside him, looking at you with just as surprised eyes as you were at her. The boy moved you so you were propped up against the door frame before he stepped into the room. 
“Could you step outside for a moment?” He asked the two as they stood beside Yi-kyung’s bed. They hesitated but eventually made their way out of the room. As Hyun-su walked up to the woman, leaning over her as she breathed raggedly, you wrapped your arms around Ah-yi and brought her into a hug. 
“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry,” you expressed your condolences before pushing her away just enough so you could see her face. “How are you doing?” You asked her as you caressed her cheek and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. 
She shrugged her shoulders, looking away unconvincingly. “I’m fine. She hated me anyway. I only came for Oppa.”
You tsked and brought her back into your embrace. “You and I both know that’s not true.”
She didn’t respond and Hyun-su turned back to look at the two of you, motioning for Ah-yi to walk in. As she passed by you, you smoothed down the back of her hair and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. 
Hyun-su walked past her, letting her have her final moment alone with her mother on her deathbed. Instead, he walked over to you, wrapping his arm around your waist to help you walk as you all moved further down the hall to give the girl some space. Once he decided it was far away enough, he moved you over to the wall so you could lean against it and stood beside you. You leaned your head against his shoulder, wanting to give and gain comfort from the action. You all stayed there, silently, for a few minutes until Ah-yi walked down the hall. 
Hyun-su popped off the wall and she turned to face the two of you, mainly Hyun-su as he started to speak. “Why are you out here already?”
You leaned forward, grabbing onto his arm to support you as you looked at her. “You should stay with her a while longer,” you insisted softly. Her eyes fluttered down to where the medical tape peeked out above your shoe and the pant leg was taped in place around your calf before she fluttered her eyes back up to yours. 
“Mom’s not going to die. So stop crying, please.”
The way she said it gave you a bad feeling and the clattering that came from the direction of the room didn’t help to ease it. Hyun-su turned, making sure you were balanced before rushing over to the room. You glanced at Ah-yi before heading that direction as well, having Eun-yu and Chan-young help you.
“Yi-kyung!” You heard Hyun-su exclaim just as you all got to the doorway. When you looked into the room, you saw Hyun-su on the ground with Yi-kyung held in his arms while tears fell down his cheeks. 
You covered your mouth in horror as your own tears started to form. You stayed there, supported only by the door as you all cried over the loss of your friend. 
Your eyes shot open when you heard the sound of bones cracking. Her head was thrown backward and her back arched to the point where you were sure that was the bone-breaking sound you heard. The skin on the left side of her body started to turn black, almost as if ash had been painted across it. She started thrashing around, her body contorting inhumanely and her skin releasing a dark, unnatural smoke. As she rolled onto her stomach the bones in her back crunched loudly and she shot up. 
You barely had enough time to move out of the way before she ran into the door you were leaning on. Disoriented and dizzy, you couldn’t bring yourself to focus on what was happening around you until you heard the ringing of a gunshot and Yi-kyung’s half-monsterized body fell backward at the waist. 
“No, don’t do that!” Hyun-su screamed, rushing forward and moving Chan-young’s hands away while he held fast to the gun. 
“It’s too late for her. She’s already gone!” Chan-young yelled at him. 
You looked back at the woman to see the gunshot wound already gone, now covered with the same black markings that covered one half of her body. “H-Hyun-su,” you whimpered weakly and both men turned to look back at Yi-kyung. You let out a soft sob as you saw the tear slide down her face. 
“Yi-kyung,” Hyun-su whispered and she raised a hand toward him. Reaching for him, she started to walk forward before her other arm, the remaining human arm, reached out to grab her own hand, almost as if to pull her back. “You guys should go back,” he whispered to you all. “Take Lucky with you, she can’t walk on her own.”
“No! Not without you!” You protested but Hyun-su didn’t turn to face you. Eun-yu looked at you hesitantly before turning back to him. 
“What about Yi-kyung?” She let out through a sob. “How could she turn so suddenly? She wasn’t showing any symptoms.”
“Her daughter did this to her,” he explained hurriedly.
“Ah-yi…” you whispered in realization. 
“She turns people to monsters?” Chan-young questioned, still aiming the gun at Yi-kyung. “Monsterization is uncontrollable by humans.”
“She’s not a human,” you said lowly. 
“What the hell are you talking about?” Eun-yu screamed at you just as Yi-kyung rushed forward to jump out the window of the room behind you. 
“Leave! Now!” He yelled at them before jumping out the window after her. 
“Hyun-su, no!” You cried out, trying to lift yourself to your feet to no avail. Eun-yu and Chan-young, ran to the broken window, looking out as you continued to struggle. “Eun-yu!” You screamed at her and she turned around to face you with widened eyes. “Please! You have to help him! Don’t let him get hurt, please,” you begged her.
She nodded, determined. Turning to Chan-young, he nodded at her and they set off in the direction of the stairs to the bottom floor. 
You sat against the glass doors of the room Hyun-su was resting in. For the first hour, you were in there with him, holding him while he cried. After he fell asleep, though, you decided to give him some space. You waited outside, leaning your head back against the cool surface of the glass with your uninjured leg bent and held to your chest while the other was extended outward. 
Down the hall, you could see Eun-yu watching you until Chan-young approached her. You looked away as you saw them staring at you. Both had sympathy lacing their gazes that you couldn’t stand to see. Sympathy meant you had something they felt sympathetic towards. You didn’t want to think of what that thing was. All you wanted was to be back at your shed, doing laundry with Hyun-su while Ah-yi sat down on the edge of the river bank with her feet dipping into the water. 
But those days were over, at least for the time being.
“What are you gonna do now?” Park Chan-young asked Eun-yu, her gaze still locked onto your form curled up across the hallway. 
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I found her, and she’s alright. That’s good enough for me. I know she’s in good hands with Cha Hyun-su. I don’t want her to come back to the stadium with us. Not when she was so miserable there,” she told him, thinking for a moment before giving a conclusive answer. “I’m gonna wait for Hyun-su to wake up. I’ll wait with her until then. Then I’ll say my goodbyes and return to the stadium. You?”
“I should get back there,” he decided. “I’ve been gone for too long.”
She nodded in agreement. “Yeah.”
Chan-young gave a final look back at where you sat now with both your knees bent and your face buried in your arms. “Send them my regards, both of them,” he told her and she nodded up at him. “I’ll see you at camp.”
With a moment of hesitation, he turned in the direction of the stairs and started walking toward them. 
It had been a couple of hours since Hyun-su fell asleep. Eun-yu had dozed off about an hour ago but you couldn’t bring yourself to shut your eyes for too long. So you sat there, your eyes staring off into the distance, unfocused and blurred. It wasn’t until the sun started to set, the light shining through the blinds of the windows and casting a golden orange glow onto the tile floor that you snapped out of your daze. Carefully bringing yourself to a standing position, you turned around, opened the door, and walked through. Your eyes immediately went to where Hyun-su was previously lying down, but when you didn’t find him there, you panicked. Raising your eyes, you let out a breath of relief when you saw him sitting on the bed next to the windows, leaning back on his right arm and swaying slightly. 
“Hyun-su?” You asked softly but received no response. Walking closer, you saw his eyes were closed as he continued to sway. It seemed like he was barely conscious and his body kept falling right before he caught it, over and over again. Reaching the point that you were standing right in front of him, you reached up to place your hand on his right cheek, a feeling he immediately leaned into. “Oh, lovely,” you whispered. “Let’s get you back to bed.”
About to pull your hand away from his cheek to clear the pillows and blankets piled on the bed behind him, you stopped when his left hand shot up and grabbed onto your wrist, keeping you in place. Confused and concerned, you brought your other hand up to hold his other cheek. “Hyun-su?” You asked. “Are you okay?”
He slowly opened his eyes and you gasped once you saw them. 
You’d only seen him like this once before and it was after he protected you from a particularly strong monster. Halfway through the battle, all of his mannerisms changed and he moved completely differently. It wasn’t until the monster ran away, Hyun-su covered in its blood yet not a scratch on him, that you saw his eyes. 
You weren’t scared. You could never be scared. 
Not of him. 
Never of him. 
But it did surprise you. 
After he returned to his normal self, he told you about how he tried to never go into that state of being because he wasn’t in full control. Despite the honest way you told him he would never hurt you and that you trusted him, he still kept the monster side of him tucked away as much as possible. 
It seemed that wasn’t the case right now, though. 
“Why are you here?” You whispered to him, your voice not at all accusing or scared, not even a little bit tentative. 
“You don’t want me here?” He questioned. It was so strange to see Hyun-su’s body and hear Hyun-su’s voice but know it wasn’t him, at least not completely. 
“I didn’t say that,” you told him, your eyes lightly scolding him in a way that made his lips quirk. “I just asked why you were here. Is he…” you hesitated, still unsure of how to fully phrase questions when he was in this state. “Are you okay?”
“He’s hurt. Let him rest for a bit,” he explained as he leaned more into your palm. His grip on your wrist hadn’t been all too tight to begin with but it still softened to a loose hold as he kept eye contact with you. 
You nodded at his words, brushing your thumb along his cheekbone and your lips curving into a subtle smile when his eyes closed contently. “Is that why you’re here?” You whispered, not wanting to break the calm atmosphere. His eyes opened again and he stared at you. “To help him with the pain?” He nodded and you sighed. It wasn’t the physical pain on his body either of you meant, and you both knew that. The pain of losing Yi-kyung, and then losing her again at his own hands was too much for him. It most certainly would have been too much for you, so you couldn’t blame him. Not that you would have anyway.
He tightened the grip he had on your wrist and gently brought it away from his cheek before releasing it completely. He turned his head to look forward in the mirror in front of him and used the hand once holding your wrist to move the collar of his shredded jacket away from his shoulder. You winced as you saw the wounded skin there, bringing a hand up to do something but hesitating. Instead, you looked around the room before your eyes lit up as you found what you were looking for. You released his face from the hand still holding his cheek and turned around, taking a step forward with your good foot. He leaned forward, leaning off his right hand and using it to grab ahold of your wrist. You looked back at him. 
“Stay,” he said simply and you smiled.
“I’m not going far.”
He held onto your wrist for a while longer before softly sliding it down to the tips of your fingers and slowly releasing you, all the while keeping eye contact. You felt the heat rising to your cheeks and turned before he could tell how flustered you were at the simple action. Taking another step, you tried to hide the limp in your walk and mask the pain on your face as you grabbed the materials and returned to where he was seated. Setting the medical supplies down next to him, you reached for the pillow behind him and took off the pillowcase surrounding it. Grabbing the mostly empty bottle of rubbing alcohol, you poured some onto the pillowcase before using one hand to pull the collar away to reveal the dirty wound underneath. 
You raised your gaze to his eyes only to find them already looking back at you. “This’ll probably sting,” you told him sorrowfully. You waited a moment for him to acknowledge your words but he just continued to stare at you with a blank, yet almost soft, look. You used your other hand to hold the alcohol-soaked pillowcase and bring it up to his wound where you carefully started dabbing away the blood and dirt. Looking over at him every few seconds to see if he was in pain, you found none each time whilst he didn’t take his eyes off you. Once the blood was cleared away and the pillowcase was thoroughly stained, it was clear to see the wound was much smaller and less serious than it originally seemed. A fact that made you sigh in relief.  
Before you could reach for the bandages to cover his wound with, Hyun-su grabbed your waist and pulled you to stand in between his legs. 
“Wha-?” You started to question but stopped when his arms wrapped around your waist in a hug. His head turned to the side and he rested it against your stomach. It didn’t take long for you to return the hug, albeit a little confused and startled. 
“You know I love you, right?”
The sentence sounded slightly muffled, and you weren’t sure which version of Hyun-su was speaking, but regardless, you answered, “I know.”
His arms tightened around you, a comforting and promising squeeze. “And you know I’m never letting you go again,” he paused, turning to look up at you. It was both a surprise and yet not when you saw one of his eyes was still the bright blue he had in his monster form, but the other had returned to his natural brown. “Right?”
You placed your hands on his cheeks, leaning down to leave a tender kiss on his forehead. 
“I know.”
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zvaigzdelasas · 11 months ago
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Iraqi Prime Minister Mohammed Shia al-Sudani on Friday said he would set up a dialogue to discuss the removal of the U.S. military presence in his country after an American strike killed an Iraqi militia leader in Baghdad on Thursday. In an address, al-Sudani said the agreement under which American troops are based in Iraq states the equal sovereignty of both countries, which was violated by the U.S. strike.
“We have repeatedly emphasized that in the event of a violation or transgression by any Iraqi party, or if Iraqi law is violated, the Iraqi government is the only party that has the right to follow up on the merits of these violations,” al-Sudani said in remarks shared by his office. “We affirm our firm and principled position in ending the existence of the international coalition after the justifications for its existence have ended,” he added. The prime minister said he was in the process of setting up a bilateral dialogue with the U.S. to discuss the removal of some 2,500 American troops in his country.
“It is a commitment that the government will not back down from, and will not neglect anything that would complete national sovereignty over the land, sky, and waters of Iraq,” he said.[...]
The U.S. strike on Thursday killed Mushtaq Taleb al-Saidi, the leader of an Iranian-backed militia group Harakat Hezbollah al-Nujaba (HHN), after landing near a security headquarters in Baghdad. HHN is part of the Popular Mobilization Forces, a network of [primarily Shi'ite] militias in Iraq.[...]
Al-Sudani, [...] Friday condemned the U.S. for the strike and said the Popular Mobilization Forces are “an official presence affiliated with the state.”
5 Jan 24
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mytardisisparked · 2 years ago
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Look, all I’m saying is that they really just don’t make movies like National Treasure anymore. Like this movie is about two dudes in a van who beat a team of highly trained criminals to stealing a valuable document from a high-security museum, by sheer accident get an antiques expert to come along with them to keep the document safe, get involved in several major chase scenes, escape the FBI twice, find a massive treasure, get someone else arrested for their crimes, and then give the treasure back to museums before yeeting out to do it all over again in the sequel. No one was doing it like them. And the thing is, by all accounts, this plot is ridiculous and the dialogue is ridiculous but it works unbelievably well because the writers and actors committed to the bit. This movie is campy and absurd and it’s also one of the most fun and quotable movies of my early childhood because the creators embraced the camp and did it with such a sincerity that it’s a goshdarn delight to watch. Top all of that off with a soundtrack that went WAY harder than it really needed to, excellent atmosphere throughout the whole film, and visuals that were darn near perfect and National Treasure becomes a classic. I’ve been chasing the high I got the first time I watched it my whole life. What a movie.
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lapsed-bookworm · 10 months ago
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This isn’t an exhaustive list, but I’ve run into some of these organizations as places to donate, and it's fine for my followers to share other lists that have gone around. (I'm not going to be offended.) This is version three with some organizations that include long-term goals of Israeli-Palestinian cooperation and peace in addition to the initial organizations offering emergency aid. Organizations are listed alphabetically.
Alliance for Middle East Peace
ALLMEP is a coalition of over 160 organizations—and hundreds of thousands of Palestinians and Israelis—building cooperation, justice, equality, shared society, mutual understanding, and peace among their communities. We add stability in times of crisis, foster cooperation that increases impact, and build an environment conducive to peace over the long term. (Even if you're not really keen on supporting AllMEP itself, searching Member Organizations may also be a way to find organizations based on sectors - environment, women, youth, etc. - or type - Palestinian, Cross Border, or Shared Society.)
American Friends of Magen David Adom
The most common way I’ve seen recommendations for USAmericans to donate to Magen David Adom. (Additional Friends Societies are on Magen David Adom’s site for other countries.)
As a fully-fledged member of the International Red Cross / Red Crescent, Magen David Adom serves as the Israeli Red Cross organization.
Anera
Anera, which has no political or religious affiliation, works on the ground with partners in Palestine (West Bank and Gaza), Lebanon and Jordan. We mobilize resources for immediate emergency relief and for sustainable, long-term health, education, and economic development. Our staff serve in their communities, navigating the politics that constrict progress to get help where it’s needed most.
A Land For All
A Land for All is a shared movement of Israelis and Palestinians who believe that the way towards peace, security and stability for all passes through two independent states, Israel and Palestine, within a joint framework allowing both peoples to live together and apart.
Doctors Without Border/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF)
An independent organization “focused on delivering emergency medical humanitarian aid quickly, effectively, and impartially.” This link goes to the Palestinian Territories section.
Friends of Roots
We are a network of local Palestinians and Israelis [in the West Bank] who have come to see each other as the partners we both need to make changes to end our conflict. Based on a mutual recognition of each People's connection to the Land, we are developing understanding and solidarity despite our ideological differences. Ongoing Initiatives include interreligious exchange, a women's group, partnership lectures, a children's summer camp, youth group, after school program, incident response team, and community de-escalators.
Hand in Hand
Hand in Hand is building inclusion and equality between Arab and Jewish citizens of Israel through a growing network of bilingual, integrated schools and communities. [...] The curricula in Hand in Hand’s schools are based on values that reflect both cultures and languages, oriented in multiculturalism and shared and equal citizenship. In our bilingual educational model, Hebrew and Arabic have equal status, as do both cultures and national narratives. Our thousands-strong adult community members come together year-round in celebration, solidarity, and dialogue. These community activities are geared towards parents, staff, and other active citizens who are interested in taking part in a shared community. We believe it is not apt to place the burden of creating a shared future on the shoulders of our children. We, the adults, must lead the way. These community activities are an inseparable part of our work towards building a shared society.
MAUSA - Muslim Aid USA
An international charity that provides assistance from natural disasters and conflict. They have a specific Palestine Emergency page.
Mrs Najah’s Kitchen
Emergency food relief in Gaza.
Off The Grid Missions
Off-The-Grid Missions (OTG) is a global humanitarian aid organization filling the gap in disaster-response by providing Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing people with critical life-saving resources in high-risk and disaster-stricken regions around the world.
Depending on the mission, aid can include assistance with evacuations, providing food, solar lighting and emergency electric sources, and assisting with alternatives to sound based warning systems. (Assistance with Deaf and Hard-of-hearing individuals in Palestine and Israel has been mentioned on quickly updated social media sites, like Facebook.)
Palestine Red Crescent Society
The Palestine Red Crescent Society (PRCS) is an officially recognized independent Palestinian National Society. It is part of the International Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement.
Standing Together
Standing Together is a grassroots movement mobilizing Jewish and Palestinian citizens of Israel in pursuit of peace, equality, and social and climate justice. We organize protests across the country demanding economic equality, climate justice, and an end to the occupation. We hold workshops on grassroots power, organize get-out-the-vote campaigns, and run candidates for student union elections [related to university chapters]. Our alternative media outlet, Rosa Media, produces Hebrew and Arabic podcasts highlighting underrepresented political stories and perspectives from across Israeli society. We maintain a robust presence in Israeli social media – combatting extremist voices and advancing hope.
Women Wage Peace
Women Wage Peace is a broad, politically unaffiliated movement, which is acting to prevent the next war and to promote a non-violent, respectful, and mutually accepted solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, with the active participation of women through all stages of negotiations.
World Central Kitchen
World Central Kitchen is first to the frontlines, providing meals in response to humanitarian, climate, and community crises.
They have response teams and partners in Gaza, Israel, Lebanon, and Egypt.
Charity Navigator page for additional organizations for the Israel-Hamas conflict.
Posted: 5 February 2024. (Link to Version 2.)
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whataperfectwasteoftime · 4 months ago
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The Rift - Chapter Four
Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Marcus Acacius x Marcus Pike x f!Reader
Rating: Chapter is T, overall fic is E (18+ only, explicit smut)
Word Count: 2.9k
Warnings: ridiculous dialogue, pining between so many characters, unrealistic heroics technology used as plot contrivances
Summary: After the Heroics manage to close the Rift, trapping Marcus Acacius on the wrong side of time and space, the group enlists Marcus Moreno for help. The leader of the Heroics is still dealing with the fallout of the Rift, but he's fascinated by the unlikely visitor to their time... almost as much as he is interested in the FBI Agent who called him.
A/N: LOOK AT OUR LITTLE GUYS GO!!!! They're settling in nicely to their routine of talking late into the night ;)
Masterlist | Chapter Three | Next chapter>>
(Moreno)
Closing the Rift hadn’t solved all of Marcus’s problems, but then again, he should never have expected it to. Sure, the White House was much happier now that a giant crack in space was no longer glowing ominously just a few steps from the White House lawn, but the general public seemed to take any excuse to take to the streets. When the Rift had appeared, groups protested Heroics’ control of the area, despite Marcus’s repeated comments about being concerned with public safety and the general wellbeing of space and time in general. Now, predictably, people are angry that the Rift had been closed with little-to-no exploration of the phenomenon. And he gets it, really, he does. But his first priority had to be the safety of the city, not to mention the department’s accountability to the US Government. The powers that be had said “Shut the portal,” and Marcus wasn’t in any place to disobey direct orders.
He pinches the bridge of his nose again, pushing up the thick frames of his glasses as he does so, and glances at the muted plasma screen in the corner of his office. The news has been showing footage of the protests for hours now, and Marcus watches glumly as the camera zooms in on a hastily-written posterboard that reads “I WANTED TO SEE WHAT WAS IN THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA.”
His intercom buzzes, and Marcus angrily presses the ‘off’ button on the TV remote before answering, “Yes?” The metal stapler on his desk wobbles back and forth slightly, and the Heroic has to shake his head rapidly back and forth to force his powers back down to a low simmer.
“Someone from the FBI here to see you?”
Marcus’s stapler suddenly implodes on itself. Shit.
“Listen, will you National Security guys give it a rest?” he snaps irritably as the door opens. “We’ve got the situation under control. If I have any updates, I’ll contact you, but at the moment, consider no news is good news.”
The Agent looks surprised at the outburst. “I’m not from NSB,” he says slowly. 
“Which department is coming to yell at me, now?” Marcus deadpans.
“My name is Special Agent Pike, I’m with Art Crimes.”
“...Art Crimes?”
“And actually, I really need your help.”
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“Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh, shit.” The Heroic paces back and forth in front of his desk taking in everything Agent Pike had just told him. This is what happens when you’re pulled in a million different directions. His own research department had been begging for access, the CIA was screaming at him every day about Homeland Security, and the fucking President called him personally to ask what he was doing to make the Rift go away.
This is how mistakes happen. Things get missed, people get hurt. He sinks, with defeat, into one of the chairs in front of his desk.
“This man, you said he’s at your apartment right now?”
“Not mine, no. My, uh… my friend’s. Actually, more of a consultant. Yeah, a consultant. She’s a curator at the National Gallery of Art,” Pike says, as if this explains everything. 
“Why involve this other person? This… museum employee?”
“I mean, she’s an expert,” the Agent says vehemently. “She’s a classical Archaeologist, was helping us with some smuggled artifacts relating to the Rift… Anyway, she’s brilliant, and I knew she’d be able to help, and sure enough, she’s speaking Latin like it’s a normal, everyday thing to do and teaching this guy English.”
“How long did you say this man has been in your custody?” Marcus asks.
“About eight hours.”
Marcus studies the Agent. He feels like being a public servant has beaten him down over the years, turning the once-optimistic superhero who wanted to save the world into the jaded, tired old man he is now. Agent Pike’s demeanor seems to indicate that he’d somehow escaped the gradual decline into pessimism. No, this was a man who loved his job wholeheartedly, and it showed. The fire in his eyes was galvanizing… and beautiful.
The Heroic stands abruptly. “I want to see him.”
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(Pike)
Marcus hesitantly taps on your door, having no idea what to expect on the other side. 
Even still, when the tall, broad man who was formerly dressed in full Roman regalia and is now wearing a faded Bryn Mawr hoodie and pajama pants and holding a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch answers the door, Marcus is struck dumb. 
“Hello!” the man announces seriously.
“Hey! Sorry. We’ve been practicing.” your face pops up near his elbow, giving Marcus a little wave.
“How are you today! I am fine, how are you!” the man at the door bellows loudly.
“What the…” Marcus Moreno mutters under his breath. 
“My. Name. Is. Marcus. Acacius,” Marcus Acacius says haltingly. 
“That’s his last name!” you pipe up with a giddy smile. “He is a general in the Emperor’s army.”
“See-ree-all,” Marcus Acacius says, holding up the box before grabbing another handful of his snack. 
“That’s a tough word,” you shrug. 
“You’re feeding a Roman general processed sugar from a box,” Marcus Pike says flatly.
“I’m sorry, I’m single-handedly teaching a Roman man how to speak modern English and you are criticizing my choice of food?”
“His name is Marcus?” the Hero asks skeptically. 
“Yep,” you chirp brightly. “Marcus, meet Marcus. And you’ve already met Marcus. Hi Marcus, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.” You hold out your hand for the newcomer to shake. 
“This is chaos,” Marcus says as he takes your hand. 
The General also offers his hand. “Hello, how are you today! I am fine, how are you!”
“I’ve barely been gone two hours,” Marcus says with a disbelieving laugh. “And he’s speaking full sentences.”
“Tee-vee is magic,” the General tells him. “I also come here by magic.”
“Pretty much,” the Agent agrees with a chuckle. “You okay?” he asks, looking at you. 
“You showed up in the middle of the night with a man who happens to come from exactly the time of my expertise and area of study,” you say, leveling a finger at him. “I’m doing… amazing! Honestly, this is the most exciting day of my life.” Sobering, you glance between your new pupil and the leader of the Heroics. “What about him? Will he be able to return home?”
“Home,” Marcus Acacius nods enthusiastically. “To Roma.”
Marcus Pike looks at the hero with discerning eyes. He can see the lines on his face, the worry etched on his forehead. A man who’s in over his head, struggling to stay afloat as the pressure threatens to pull him under. He knows that feeling well. 
The man shakes his head sadly, looking pained.
“No?” the Roman asks. “No Roma?”
“I… I don’t know,” the hero admits. 
“Nescio,” you translate, and the man looks troubled. 
The Hero glances over at Marcus, and something in his return gaze seems to spur him into action. “No, hang on,” Moreno adds. “The Heroics caused this mess. The Heroics will fix it. I’ll see to it.” 
“How will I get in touch with you?” Marcus asks as he turns for the door. Moreno pauses, and looks back. “Let me give you my direct line, okay?” 
Wordlessly, Marcus hands him his phone and watches as the man taps in his number and hands it back. He presses the ‘Call’ button, and the Hero’s own phone dings in his pocket before Marcus cancels the call. 
“Now you’ve got mine, too.”
The Heroic flushes slightly, and nods. “I’ll be in touch. Marcus. And uh, Marcus.” He nods perfunctorily at the Roman general, and leaves. 
“That was weird,” you laugh, breaking the silence that had fallen over the apartment.
“What was?”
“It was like he had a crush on you or something,” you tell Marcus. 
He snorts. “I find that hard to believe.” 
“Why? You’ve a good-looking man.”
Marcus tries to ignore the way his heart aches at your words. “Sure,” he jokes.
“What? I’m serious.”
“He’s the leader of the Heroics. He could do better.” It’s meant to be another joke, but it comes out slightly more maudlin than intended. 
“That’s your protest? That he could do better? Hang on–Marcus, are you gay?”
“No!” The protest is far too loud. “I mean, I’ve dabbled. It’s not… y’know.”
“You should go for it,” you say, shrugging your shoulders in a way that’s meant to be nonchalant, but Marcus can see the strain behind your eyes with the effort of playing it cool. 
“That’s not who I’m interested in,” he says quietly. He forces himself to look directly into your eyes as he says this, despite the pounding in his heart. 
“Oh,” you whisper, your voice shaking slightly as you flash him a cautious, shy smile. 
“Quid est?”
The question cuts through the moment, and Marcus turns to see the General holding a souvenir snow globe of the Parthenon and looking very confused. 
“Your turn,” you tell Marcus with a laugh.
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(Moreno)
It takes one week for the leader of the Heroics to call.
A few metal pens clink together in the sleek black canister on Marcus’s desk as he taps on the words ‘Agent Pike’ and puts the phone to his ear. 
“This is Pike,” comes the response at the other end of the call.
“Hi–” Marcus clears his throat. “Hi. It’s Marcus. Moreno.”
“I know.” He can hear the chuckle in the man’s voice. “I hope you’ve got good news.”
“Yes, and no,” Marcus admits. 
“Can I get the ‘yes’ first?” Agent Pike jokes. 
“My team thinks they can recreate the energy blast that created the Rift without causing a massive explosion or a uh… black hole that swallows the entire planet.”
“That sounds like a positive,” the Agent says optimistically.
“The bad news is that they don’t know how long it’s going to take to invent that kind of technology from scratch. But I’ve explained the situation and the urgency behind it and I’ve got people working ‘round the clock to recreate the Rift and get Marcus Acacius back home.”
“That’s great,” the other man says cheerfully. In the background, he hears your voice cheering as well. “Sorry, I put it on speaker,” Marcus laughs. 
“How is the General, by the way?” he asks. 
“Oh, he’s fine. Learning more about modern life, has quite a few more words under his belt. We took him shopping for some new clothes the other day, that was… fun.” 
Marcus snorts, trying to imagine a person from two thousand years in the past attempting to navigate a modern mall. 
“And the two of you… you’re handling it? Keeping it quiet?”
“Oh, yeah. Haven’t told anyone else, obviously. We’ve been taking turns going to work, taking a few vacation days here and there, not raising any suspicions about our sudden odd behavior.”
“I appreciate it,” Marcus tells him sincerely. “Oh hey–I almost forgot. I have something for you. Bit of Heroics tech that might help you guys out.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmhmm. Can I stop by your colleague’s apartment later today to deliver it?” 
“Yeah, of course,” the Agent answers. “We’ll see you then.”
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(You)
This might be the best week of your life. 
Hiding a fugitive Roman General in your apartment probably should be stressing you out, but instead you’re having the time of your life. 
The situation, by default, has forced you into close proximity with Special Agent Pike, a man you’ve longed to know as more than just an occasional colleague from the moment you met him. At a minimum, he’s at your place every evening as soon as he can get away from work without people asking questions, but there have been several days that the both of you had called off and spent the day together with your temporary houseguest.
And then there’s Marcus Acacius. 
A brilliant man, he’s done his best to adjust to his new surroundings. He certainly cut an intimidating figure dressed in full regalia on your doorstep at three in the morning, but even in his new wardrobe, he still manages to look just as commanding. He almost looks ‘normal’ standing in your kitchen, wearing khakis and a button-up and filling a glass of water from the tap, but there’s always a hint of otherworldliness about him that no amount of modern clothing can camouflage. 
His eyes are sharp and astute, and his gaze always seems to make the heat rise to your cheeks. His presence seems to fluster Marcus as well; you notice him trip over his words on occasion, and you swear you saw the man blush when he had to help button the General’s new shirt after your little shopping trip. 
If anything, having the two of them in your home feels… cozy. 
You almost wish it didn’t have to come to an end. 
A knock at the door startles you out of your reverie. 
“Take bets, is that the pizzas or the Heroic?” Marcus chuckles from his spot on the couch. 
“It’s the pizza,” you call out when you open the door to the intoxicating smell of cheese, bread, and garlic. As you’re paying the deliverer, however, the stairwell door opens and Marcus Moreno walks hesitantly toward you. 
“Is this a bad time?” he asks. “You guys look like you’re about to have dinner.”
“Of course not! We thought maybe you’d like to stay and have some, so we got extra.”
“I wouldn’t want to intrude…” he begins.
Hearing the exchange, Pike joins you at the door and beckons the man in with a little jerk of his head. “Don’t be silly. Come have dinner with us.”
Marcus Moreno hesitates for just a moment longer, and then shrugs. “Okay.”
After spending most of the week together, you, Marcus, and Marcus have settled into a dinner routine. You line up and open the pizza boxes as the Roman grabs a stack of plates from the cabinet and Marcus fills four glasses with ice and water and carries them to the table.
“Hello, how are you?” Marcus Acacius asks the Heroic politely.
“Hey,” Moreno grins. “You look like you’re settling in.”
“I am very well,” the man answers. “Pizza is a very good food.”
The Hero laughs. “You’re right about that.” 
The four of you eat dinner in companionable silence. As usual, the General eats far more than anyone else, finishing off almost an entire pizza by himself. You can’t help but wonder about his life in Rome–what he does, what he eats, where he lives. You’ve tried to ask, but the language barrier forces your conversations to be short and simple. You wish you could talk to him, really talk. He must have some incredibly interesting things to say…
After dinner, you pour four glasses of wine. The Roman grins widely at you, flashing his teeth. “Vino, excellent,” and you smile back, ducking your head a little and subconsciously glancing over at Pike. You aren’t sure what you’re worried about–jealousy, maybe?–but the Agent nods fondly and raises his glass in a silent toast. 
“Let me show you what I brought,” the Heroic announces as the four of you sit in the living room. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a couple of devices that are slightly larger and thicker than cell phones, but not by much. 
“We actually developed these to speak to aliens back when we were dealing with that situation with the Throqans several years ago. They were indispensable in helping us communicate and deescalate what could have turned into some kind of intergalactic war,” Marcus Moreno explains, switching one of the devices on. “It wasn’t until after that we realized we could program it to translate human languages. I had someone add a new function just for you. Here, say something.” He holds the device up to Marcus Pike. 
“Uh… this is me, saying something.” 
Immediately, the device emits a string of perfect Latin. The General perks up, cocking his head to the side and examining the device intently. 
“These will translate anything you say in English into Latin, or vice versa,” Moreno says, and the words are again repeated back in Latin. “You want to try?” he asks, holding the device out to Marcus Acacius, who takes it carefully in one large hand and says something into it.
“So many times every day I say to myself, ‘This thing must be magic,’ and I find I must say it once again.”
You let out a little shriek of delight. Marcus Pike laughs joyfully and claps the Heroic on the shoulder. 
“This is incredible! Marcus, thank you,” he says, his hand still on the man’s shoulder. You don’t miss how the very tips of the Hero’s ears turn pink. 
“It’s the least I could do. They all come with earpieces, too, so you can each automatically hear translations of everything that’s said.” 
The Roman speaks into the translator again. “Do you also bring news of when I might return home?”
Marcus Moreno bites his lip. “I wish I could say I did, but I don’t. The technology is still only theoretical. We’ve been running tests, but so far, nothing has been successful.”
Acacius listens to the translation, nodding slowly and looking somewhat disappointed. Suddenly, though, he brightens, and speaks again. 
“Ah well, if there are more pizza dinners in my future, then so be it.”
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widowsofchaos · 9 months ago
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could you please do prompt 168 with carol x fem reader? if you’re comfortable writing that of course:)
𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐨𝐭
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synopsis: Trying to find peace at your job’s gala, but a familiar haunting shadow finds you once more.
pairing: dark!Carol Danvers x brown!fem!reader
ao3 // modern au // 5k words.
warnings: dubious wlw smut (forced stimulation, vaginal fingering), stockholm syndrome, toxic established relationship, domestic violence, mention of childhood abuse.
a/n: Carol’s outfit reference. title is a reference to the song, Mary by Alex G. requested 168. “Don’t get too close to that one, she’ll singe your fingertips and have you on your knees.” from this dialogue prompt list. dog metaphors, because I must write pain. Channeled my inner amy dunne for Carol. I’m sorry that I’m just finishing this 2 years later, but I hope whoever requested this, I hope you see this! <3
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“She became the parent, the lover, the friend you’ve always craved for—- and yet, here you are,”
The truth can sting, just the sharp tip of a knife, flickering at the raw flesh. Poking and prodding till there’s small plots of ichor forming.
“——broken…” Her index finger arched, halting her words, still a vivid memory, “…. but not beyond repair.”
A scoff escapes.
“What is love without hate, I guess.” Unconsciously it spewed from your lips, the vowels felt like acidic vomit. A pregnant silence arose.
That all knowing head tilt, with those observant eyes—- always earned uncomfortable tension within you.
“Love isn’t meant to be confused with hate.”
The cigarette burns slow between your clenched fingers, nursing three fingers deep. Brown liquor swishes against the carved rocks glass, its clear silver grooves twinkles under the gala’s vermilion hues.
Fragments of words compulsively knock against the walls of your brain; as you mull at the gala’s open bar. A scorned woman who just wants peace, and quiet. Lingering stains of hurt that can last a lifetime settles to silence for once in a long time.
Showered an ugly duckling with affections, and built the pillars of security. Growing up in a childhood filled with anxiety and fear of attachments, lingering stains of abuse from the very beings who birthed you into this world.
She cleaned you, bandaged the scars, and assured you that she was the only one who adored you—- persisted that she was the only one who would.
Now, fighting violently in the legal battlefield of divorce, these past weeks have been mentally exhausting —- all whilst handling the burdening responsibilities of your profession.
Your very mind and hands helped craft this sophisticated gallery.
Your boss, Mr. Laufeyson, opened a new exhibit in the National art museum—- Norse history, one of his niche fixations. A man birthed on Norwegian soil, but raised in the monarchal land of England.
An established man who often seeks to explore the rich culture of his ancestors with much sophisticated adoration, and esteem. The Norse exhibit is now the largest section of the institution, with vast collections of rare artifacts protected behind hard stainless glass.
He breathed down your neck for long weeks, you had the task of restoring each piece that had been brought in, nearly breaking your damn back from all the hovering.
A gala bustling with a sea of middle-class folk, and self-proclaimed aristocrats of New York. You sought solace at the open bar, smoking a stogie—- and slipping into the whiskey.
It wasn’t a preferred choice, but it helps give a quick kick to your nerves. Seeking solitude away from pressures to gallant with faux professionalism, and an particular noisy friend, who should be presenting the Norse gods section.
Earlier, she was pestering with a thousand questions flying by the mouth —- if you ever gave thought to rekindling with Carol.
Dissociating into a mindless static, flickering at your clear square nails, as your cigarette burns slowly. At first, the mention of this exhibit with your boss months ago sent you into a frenzy of joy, but now—- it’s a dreadful experience.
All you long for is to start your weekend, to cuddle with your daug—-
“What an incredible scent you have—-”
Oh God, no.
“—- is that Histoires de Parfums, 1969?”
Fuck.
“I haven’t been around that perfume in a long time.”
It’s as if she can smell you a mile away.
A sensual, purring voice whispers near you. A shadowing silhouette eclipses the shimmering ceiling lights from your peripheral vision.
Your lips wrinkle, restraining the foreboding tears of frustration. Tightly nodding, swallowing a sob. Your breathing becomes heavier.
A hum, “It really smells wonderful.” With precision, the shadow sits onto the empty seat beside you.
“Thank you.” A forced smile curls at your mouth.
“With that scent, I’m surprised you’re not being hounded by the men here tonight.” A subtle wordplay, are you looking for anyone tonight?
As if your mind has forgotten all the bad, and reminisces on the good, all the fun, all the beauty that once blossomed.
“It’s not men I'm looking for.” You whisper, snuffing the cigarette into a provided ash-tray. A creamy hand strokes your knuckles, and your skin shivers under your blouse.
A jolt to your groin, and your breath hitches. All she can do is just touch you, and it’s as if you can get on your knees, and forgive her for everything.
“Why?”
You can see that pearly grin, from the corner of your eye, teasing and twisting.
“They’re too easy to hunt?”
You exhale a chuckle, eyes still trained onto the glistening counter.
“They bore me.”
“So—” Her voice lulls as a moan, “—- see anyone worthwhile?” Her fingers curl around your glass, twirling it by the rim. Your lipstick stain faces her direction, and bold as always, she lifts for a sip. Connecting the lip stain to hers, her eyes never leave yours.
It’s not tacky, nor forceful. How she moves is as if it is her nature.
Your eyes gaze over your shoulder, taking a full look. Finally, to drink in the force of nature that is your estranged wife—- Carol.
Her blonde tresses cascade on her shoulders, milky breasts on display. A pristine, black dress, that cuts and splits at the chest hem, polished nails, and clean skin. Her dress halts near her knees.
“Well, I have my eye on a blonde tonight.” You say timidly. Tenderly, your eyes glance fleetingly, a quick trace over Carol’s bodice, nearly losing your composure.
A pregnant pause.
That pretty pink mouth stretches smugly, as if the cat that got the cream. The hooks caught the flesh.
“You like blondes.”
Her tone lingers as an open question, guising the truth.
“Just one in particular.”
Sinking now, the hooks are tugging.
“Really?” Carol leans, her eyes hooded. “Which one?” Pretending to scan her eyes across the ocean of people.
But your eyes remain fixated on her. As if you were a lost puppy, just gazing at its human. Lucidly, influcating between the spaces of yearning, and guilt.
How at ease Carol is, as if nothing was wrong. The charming woman, the woman you thought she was. The woman she wanted you to think she was.
“The one in the black dress.” You say softly, and defeated brown eyes.
Carol’s eyes gaze back at you from the corner of her oculus, downcasting with a mirth, humming a chuckle. “Don’t get too close to that one, she’ll singe your fingertips and have you on your knees.” She shakes her head, an enticing warning.
A dangerous but delicious fruit hanging at your reach. She wants you to take the bait, urging you to—- to get you back in her grasp, and if she does, she won’t let you go.
This game, a cat and mouse play, is all too familiar. Playing as strangers, attracted together by lust, and curiosities—- the type of curiosity to feel the other’s flesh, subtle carnality. Act out, with playful words, pretend to be different people.
It slowly suffocates you, a twang in your chest, a reminder that this isn’t normal.
She isn’t normal.
Carol can be an array of personalities, she can be the doting wife, the whore in bed, the mother—- she can be the bitch with a violent mouth. Different faces for different folk, no one knows her true self, and she’s good at it —- real good.
So, when you tried to seek help from friends, they couldn’t believe it, nor did they want to. You’re not surprised that Carol snuck into the gala—- your co-worker, Maria, who you thought was a true friend —- the matchmaker from hell, let her in, unknowingly allowing the terror onto you.
But, that’s no surprise. Maria has been Carol’s right hand since their days in the Air Force.
None of your friends believe you—- and, it’s hurtful to admit, you’re too scared to speak about all the hurt Carol made you endure over the years.
Barely spoke of the discomfort Carol used against you, and all your shared friends thought you misinterpreted. All saying that Carol is just head-strong, and that you two are perfect together.
Carol feeds the fire with a ‘She’s just going through a tough time.’
Boundaries aren’t respected, everyone trying to push you back together, inviting Carol in social events —- to the point where you didn’t go out anymore, and just drowned in work.
“I like challenges.” Carol softly leans in, her breath fans the bare skin of your shoulder, “All the more fun when I win.” Her voice drops low, to a wispy whisper.
Her body heat engulfs you, and your eyes droop with haziness for a slick second. You can’t—- not again. No matter how intoxicating she can be, how delicious, it’s not worth your peace.
You’re too drunk for this.
“This cat is too tired to entertain.”
“Who said you were the cat?” Carol’s brow arches, halting you in your step. Carol’s infliction hardens, from the corner of your oculus, you can see the clench of her jawline. That pretty mouth morphed into a restrained frown, the same one you see before a punishment.
An offense has been made.
“I didn’t realize the roles were switched.”
The mask slips.
It’s always her way, her rules. Because no matter how clever, how coy the mouse can be, the cat always wins.
“You’re getting brave on me?” Carol asks.
And now the mask has been dropped.
“I think it’s best I leave.” You quickly collect yourself, a bit wobbly from the alcohol. Leaning against the counter to regain your composure, trying to stand upright.
Not this time. You won’t fall for her charm.
Carol sucks her teeth, “You’re seriously going to leave? Aren’t you tired of this childish bullshit?” Crossing her arms against her chest, lips wrinkling into a scowl. Carol talks as if scolding a child.
Your body twists in a haste, “My bullshit?” Your teeth are gritting harshly, hissing. Angry eyes pierce over the hill of your shoulder, fingernails digging into the leather of your purse; if not the leather, her eyes preferrable.
But this is a place of work, no matter how elegant the night is, you will scream if you have to—- just to escape her. You click your tongue, shaking your head in disbelief.
“I mean I’m usually amused by your brattiness,” Carol laughs sarcastically. “But, now it’s gotten too far.” Her fingertips graze your arm, toying with you, soft and playful—— her fingers grasp your arm in a clutch, earning a whine.
Her eyes are hooded, nearly tugging you downwards. A whine bubbles at the pit of your throat, too terrified to even move.
“You have to come back home.” Carol says, a strain to be sweet, but it’s as if a monster tries to be human. “I miss you.” She purrs, but her eyes … are cold, and agitated.
You remain silent, closing your eyes shut, gliding down in your seat. “Carol… have you signed the divorce papers, yet?” Your eyes stay glued to the sticky counter.
Carol chuckles, “You’re going to try to talk business to me, and you can’t even look me in the eye?” Her baby pink polished nails thump against the bar, thump thump thump.
“I don’t want to fight anymore.”
“And neither do I.” She sips her drink, smirking into the cup, “But it seems my wife likes to play games.” So light, so sarcastic, chastising you as if this was a running joke on your end.
“Carol, for fucks sake.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, “You made me go crazy.” You bite on those words, full teeth. Fingers curling into makeshift claws, vowels spilling as acidic vomit.
“Controlled me, like I was your puppet.” Your fingers curl and slither in gesture. “Manipulated me against the world, against our friends.” Your mouth opened again, the words weighing heavy against your mouth, but a hum interrupted.
“Look up at me when you talk.” Carol says, your eyes peer up through your lashes, owlishly. “If you’re going to lie, you might as well make it convincing.” She licks her lips, tasting the remnants of her liquor.
“I —- I—” you can’t find the words to even respond. You stare at her incredulously, she will never admit to it. Even now, she has you questioning your own sanity, if it was even worth fighting against her.
It’s not worth screaming about it. Not anymore.
“I have to go.” Swiftly, you stand up, with a bated breath.
“That’s how you talk to the mother of your child?”
Stiffening, as the hairs that align a cat’s spine, “Don’t you dare!” Your index finger pointing, shouting in a hush. “Stop using Kamala against me—” your voice wavers, throat nearly choking a sob, “You did enough of that in court.” Big brown eyes sheening wet, the last nerve shot.
Trying to maintain a level of calm, eyes fluttering back and forth around, seeing if anyone has witnessed your outburst.
“I don’t even have to do that,” Carol’s open palm gestures to your rigid stance, “she can see perfectly fine how erratic you’ve been.” Carol hisses, making your nose scrunch up.
Kamala adores — idolizes— Carol. So memorized by her strong, willful mother, since she was a waddling baby.
You haven’t dared utter a bad word about Carol in-front of Kamala, fearing to shatter the fragile bubble you curated as a shield for her. You wouldn’t let her witness the court meetings, especially the negotiations of joint custody.
By every fiber of your being, you’ve tried to make this separation as discreet as possible—- but Carol has been a devil, bulldozing those efforts. To make you appear as the bad parent.
You can’t stand her lawyer, Carol hired one who hails from Hell’s Kitchen—- fitting since he’s a thorn upon your rib. Subtlety bringing up your mental health, questioning your abilities as a mother —- no doubt, Carol was chewing his ear off about your past.
All Kamala knows is that her mothers are splitting up, with foreign lawyers, and that she now has to split weekends—- those pained brown eyes, her puffed cheeks, it kills you deeply—- all the guilt weighs on you, it feels as if you’re to blame for all the problems.
“You’ve taken so much from me, Carol.” You lean in, kneeling at her eye level. “My dignity, my peace— shit— even my sanity.” Your body anxiously fidgeting, breath quickening.
“But I will not, let you take my child away from me.” Your fingers dive into your purse, fumbling with irate, snagging the last cash you had—- with the finality of this conversation, slamming the money onto the marble countertop.
You carried Kamala, incubated inside you for nine months, fed her from your breast—- you will not lose her, not over your cold dead body.
“Goodnight, Carol.”
Sharply, you turn on your heel, leaving Carol without turning back. Walking with a gait, faking confidence, but truly at your core, a gnawing sense of uneasiness.
-
The corridor stretches as a miniature maze, the more you descend out of the gala, the less crowded it is. Turning left and right, trying to find the exit.
The ambiance is of grainy gray, the tinted blurred windows are foggy with the night’s shadows.
The echoes of clicking heels are faint, your mind doesn’t register, as your own feet and mind are stuck on auto-pilot.
“There she goes again,” an agitated voice snags your attention, brows furrowing, “always acting like the little victim.”
Not granted the chance to realize, in a flash, just as quick as you turned your head, rough hands grab you by the curve of your shoulders, throttling you against the chilled wall pavement.
Earning a hiss, and a gasp, stinging pain births and stretches along the muscles of your spine. Quickly, your fingers fruitlessly try to claw at Carol’s, but all it does is make her more enraged.
Carol thrashes you once more against the wall, and another for good measure; airy gasps of pain escapes you, tears beading at your lashes. That militant discipline seeps from her pores, it’s not a stranger to you, the rough edges of her touch is a familiar bruise.
“It may have worked with the rest of the world,” Carol barks in your face, nose to nose, “but it’s not going to work with me.”
Sniffling, your chin wobbles, trying to restrain a sob that burns your throat raw.
Carol hums, that tut of a sympathetic mother, “Look at us.” Her thumbs rubbing your shoulders, pressing on the blooming bruises. “I don’t like it when we fight.
Eerily, she influcates from predator to savior, “You always get erratic, and you know it upsets me.” Leaning in, her pink lips press a kiss on a falling tear.
“Where’s my special girl?” Carol whispers. Fear is beating inside of you, buzzing as tv static. Staring at Carol through your hooded lids, terrified, and confused.
Carol purrs, awaiting for an answer.
“I’m here.” Barely a murmur, you speak softly.
Carol thrives off of her aggression. But it’s not the traditional masculinity that some women possess in their personalities. She feels it’s the only gift her father ever gave her.
“It’s very cute that you try to fight me.” Carol mocks, her knuckles stroke your cheek. Carol hums, her eyes tracing over every facial feature.
“Let me see if she missed me.”
A string of no no no slip from you meekly.
One of Carol’s hands graze over your shoulder, twirling her fingers into your hair—- gripping between her fingers tightly. To then cup the nape of your neck, her thumb pressing slightly over your pulse point.
As she has you pinned by the scruff, her other hand flows down your cavlices, to your clothed breast—- she snags the collar to expose skin.
Groping a handful of your tit, she mutters still so soft, traveling down the path of your navel—- with a quick precision, Carol snatches your groin; more like clawing.
A sharp gasp escapes you, and all she does is laugh.
A quick glance at the end of the hallway, praying that nobody turns the corner. Carol snickers. “Afraid someone will catch us?” You exhale a huff, nose flaring.
“I remember you used to be quite adventurous.”
“That’s when I was young and stupid.”
Her eyes narrow, pinching your vagina in her hand even tighter. With her knee, she wedges her thigh between your shaky legs, spreading you more open.
Slithering her hand through the stitched fabric, her knuckles stroking your sensitive skin. Your breathing becomes heavier, and all she does is smirk.
Moving your panties to the side, Carol’s makes herself home to your body. Ashamed to feel yourself grow wet, and Carol moans.
“It seems she missed me.”
All unbridled frustration hits the hilt, you cry in a stretched whine, thrashing in her hold. In need to escape, you wanted to go home, away from her.
All these weeks of trying to flee from her, do the right thing to gain custody, to live a good life, give your daughter stability —- all of it goes down the drain by her simple touch.
Beating on her arms with fists, slapping and trying to knee her in a weak spot. Carol’s eyes darken—- as if she’s bored of the insolence.
Carol pushes her weight onto you, pinning to the wall. And her fingers don’t cease on her assault.
“I hate you.” You choke on a wail, your head tilting up as a child.
“I’ve saved you.” An expert circular motion of her fingertips, sending a jolt to your bundle of nerves.
“Who else can say that?” Carol leans in, her head tilting, as her lips meet your cheek.
Softly, she kisses you, caressing and grazing against the skin of your cheek.
“I took care of you, and you just want to leave?” Carol’s pink tongue slithers between her lips, licking and nibbling. Boldly, her fingers dove between your folds, playing with your wetness.
“You wanted a savior, baby, I’m it.” The bridge of Carol’s nose traces yours, humming at the wet sensation of your tears. “You were nothing before me—-” another finger plunging inside you, “—- and you will be nothing after me.”
“I — I — would rather be alone.” You say with a stammer, lips wet with tears. Mouth curling into a brave scowl, regaining some bravery, “I’ll be fine.”
Carol’s face leans a little back, tilting her head mockingly. “When I say nothing after me, I mean it—-” Carol’s teeth bare as fangs, “you’ll be buried six feet deep, before I let you go.” Her fingers grip the nape of your neck, tugging you in.
“No one can ever have you.” She whispers.
Your eyes are owlish, you don’t doubt her…. her time in the boot camp was extensive, you felt her trained strength many times—- she loves like a knife. Many bruises healed over the years.
Not brutal beatings, but very handsy.
A glimmer of fear suffocates you, your body keels as a leashed dog.
Her fingers slither against your peach fuzz, slipping between your mound, toying with your wetness. Splitting your velvety folds apart, Carol vulgarly strokes you with her fingers sloppily, staining the hem of your panties.
Carol grinds herself onto your thigh, you can feel a wet spot pooling at her silk panties. Your fingers are digging into her forearms. A rough dance of humping and grinding, both reaching for a high.
Your wet walls can’t help but suck her inside, clenching tight. Fiercely plunging in and out—— it’s been some time. Since the last time, you were touched. It’s bordering on painful, a bit tight.
You did entertain another for a while. A woman you met at a bar. Short dark chestnut hair, a soft posh english accent, a bold yet cheeky mouth. She said her name was G’iah, you never met anyone with such a name.
Despite the attraction, the idea of offering yourself physically was too overwhelming. But, the emotional energy was wonderful. It was a breath of fresh air.
You just couldn’t bring yourself to love another.
Skin screaming for touch, yet your heart is trying to fight back. The flesh only reminisces the good, but all the hurtful memories are chained to your mind.
Carol’s mouth ajar, hovering over the meat of your cheek. Your face scrunches, eyes tight, a whine boils at your throat. She breathes a chuckle. She always finds amusement in your misery.
Carol loves to play God—- the Old Testament God. In the carnal sense, and in spite. Worship her, and only need her, obey every command, but commit a sin—- and she shall see to it, that her pettiness will rule over your life.
Her fingers spread, your slick connects to her fingertips, flickering the gossamer thin threads between her expert fingers, diving into you.
Her teeth grazes your cheek, her warm breath cascading against your mouth. Torn between closing your thighs to stop her, or thrust your hips into her hand.
Carol’s tongue slips out, and kitten licks your parted lips. Her pink tongue licks your canines, inhaling your breath. Sweet scent of liquor coats your tongue, Carol suckles into her mouth, moaning at the taste.
A lewd pop comes from Carol pulling back on your tongue, as her fingers curl harsher. Bordering on pain, the pleasure is electric. Pulsing through you, as her thumb toys with your swollen clit.
Her moans are animalistic, you can feel her pussy splitting, a sensation of silk and waxed bare skin. Her clit is grinding fully onto your thigh. It feels so damn good.
A part of you wants her to cum on you. To use you.
Carol’s face tilts away from yours. Her brown eyes swirl with malice, narrowing for a split moment. A smile stretches.
“Kamala would be so hurt to lose her mommy—” Carol’s words earn a mean eye from you, but all she does is laugh humorlessly. “How could you abandon our child?”
Like a stab to your heart, Carol just twists the edge deeper. Her fingers still deep inside you, clenching in need for her to finish— to get you right at the precipice.
“I would never leave Kamala,” you speak with a strain, a rough slice at your throat. “I love her.” Bordering on pleading, your eyes water-sunk.
“Then why do you make her cry?”
“What?”
“Every night she asks why her mom isn’t home,” Carol leans more of her weight on your belly. Her fingers fucking you harshly, hitting that sweet spot so perfectly. Your juices are now soaking down her hand.
“She cries till she falls asleep. She thinks you hate her.”
Torn between rutting your hips into her palm, grinding and fucking her fingers as if it was one of Carol’s toys —- and the need for space, to free yourself from these clutches.
Salty tears fall to your wrinkling lips, shaking from silent tears.
“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Carol says, her voice smooth and affectionate. Her lips pouted, “We can be together again.” Her shiny blonde hair kisses her lashes, in the grainy city lights, she looks innocent.
“Don’t you want to be a family again?”
She pushes her fingers further, slowly playing with your clit— and then stops, edging you. She can feel your spongy walls nearly spasming. Carol knows how to play the strings of your flesh.
Damn her.
“I do.” Your voice gurgles in a sob.
You know she’s tricking you… and you enjoy it.
In some deep seeded—- an absolutely fucked —- part of you, relishes in it. Because it’s all you know. But, it’s that glimmer of tenderness, the kisses, and honeyed words that pulls you back in.
Back to mutilate yourself on her knife over and over again. And isn't that what love is? Carol would say, time and time again, after the dust settles from her fits of rage.
Wet squelching floods your ears, echoing throughout the empty hallway. Your hand trails to her waist, gripping her dress, roughly grazing the smooth skin of her waist.
Legs entangled, and Carol’s thrusts are getting faster, sloppy. Her moans are getting high-pitched, away from primal and more girlish.
You cling to her, in this moment, you just need to feel anything. And you know she needed it too.
A burst of euphoria, hanging onto each other, as if both would fall apart. Carol felt it, how you spasmed on her fingers. Clenching so tight, trapping her hand for a moment.
Bated breaths dance against each other, hair flying by the breeze of huffing. Yours are gasps of relief.
In a desperate plea, you reach for a kiss, but Carol pulls away.
“I hope you learned something …” Carol hisses, her fingers stroking between your slippery folds, agitating your over-stimulated clit. The meat of your thigh quivers, tailbone pinching as you try to mesh into the wall, far from her.
Carol takes her fingers out, leaving behind an empty feeling—- like a void. Without blinking, Carol unabashedly suckles on her two fingers, tasting you.
“I hope you make the right decision.” Carol whispers against her tips. Pulling her warm weight off of your bodice, a chill sweeps against the tepid sense of your belly.
Carol hums for a moment with a stony face. She tugs on the collar of your dress, the top of your bosom exposed —- it was a stiff gesture.
Without a word, Carol posed her spine, and walked away, a snide side-eye.
Leaving you behind with an ache between your thighs, love bites across your chest, and fresh bruises. Left behind in the chilled hallway, and in wrinkled attire —- as if you were a used whore.
Your head falls, crying into your chest. Your fingers pulling your dress down, your inner thighs tender. Your fingertips touch the wet spot Carol left behind near your knee.
A pause.
It’s wrong, but you crave her taste. Suckling your fingertips into the cave of your mouth.
You can still smell her fragrance lingering—- and yet, you crave it, hoping it clung to your dress.
-
Timid footfalls carry you through the high-end residential hallway. Bated breath, and in wrinkled clothes, you lift and loosely drop your luggage in your grip. Pacing back and forth, trying to salvage any scrap of courage to knock.
Your head is bowing down, chin to chest. A stop in-front of the door. The reasoning motivating your surrender blurs—- is it for Kamala only, or is it also that a loyal dog who always forgives?
A silent white flag has been waived.
A lonely dog always comes back.
Dull steps creep closer, syncing with the beat of your heart. One unlock, and another follows. Defeat seeps from your pores, a bone-rattling warning siren echoing in the rush of your ears.
The door knob slowly twists, as if she’s mocking you. But not a second more, the door creaks open. Green eyes blink back with mirth, and a smile.
No words are needed.
Carol hums, stroking your hair, fingers gliding down the terrain of your neck, guiding you inside by the nape of your neck.
-
Awaiting on the bed is a silk nightie, and skincare, curated by Carol’s choice. Pristine, wrinkled-free silk. Not one flaw in sight.
She knew you would come back. A cocky woman, and yet she’s never wrong. A stir of irate coils in your belly, but it’s snuffed before it can disrupt.
-
In the dark, you tip-toe down the hall. Elated and relieved, it felt like a century crept by, but it was only a week of separation.
Weekends weren’t enough. You needed to see her everyday.
Brown fingers slowly grasp at the knob, twisting open. The white walls are adorned by the flash of a night light that glows small stars glimmering against the ceiling.
A room of action figures, anime, music posters and a wall dedicated to her drawings. That familiar scent that never really went away, that baby smell that clung to her as an infant.
Kneeling into her bed, curling under the blanket. Legs curling underneath you, knees bent, as you caress Kamala’s scalp, furling her hair behind the shell of her ear. Your brown fingers melt into the onyx shine of her tresses.
Her sleepy cheeks puffed, she looks like a sleeping cherub. Silently, tears cascade against the hill of your nose, staining the pillow sheet.
For months, you’ve tried to conjure ideas on how to run away from this life with Kamala, but all your ideas end up in the possible reality of being arrested with charges of kidnapping, and never seeing your daughter again.
The truth of the matter is -— you will crawl skin bare in the deepest parts of hell just for her. Suffering silently in these marital ruins, for the sake of being able to raise your only child, is what you will do.
You don’t know what you want with Carol —- you don’t have anything else to offer as a wife, besides submitting your entire being as a sacrificial offering.
It’s all she ever wanted. Wholesome love is seen as a defect in Carol’s eyes, a trait taught to her by her father. Control over everything is what brings her peace. And being cared for is what brings you solace.
The only person in the world Carol doesn’t unleash her wrath upon, who she adores entirely, is Kamala. Never once has Carol raised her voice, nor her hand at Kamala.
It’s disturbing, to see Carol be so genuine in her affections.
But, you’re ever so grateful. Despite being a masochist, under all the rubble harboring in your cavity— is a little girl suffocating for tenderness. For anything, just for someone to hold her.
Carol is a peculiar creature, and yet she has driven you to the brink of madness over the last stretched months, because she can’t bear to lose you —-- that has to mean something, right?
But as you lay here, wallowing in the dead silence, staring at Kamala slumbering —-a thought came to you; a lingering fear. Paranoia gnawing at you, chewing away bit by bit.
You wouldn’t want Kamala to suffer like this one day.
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ineedhaikyu · 4 months ago
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Chapter 4
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Summary: It was a bittersweet moment when Inarizaki lost to both Inarizaki's manager and Karasuno’s ace. What will happen next? Do the feelings stop there?
Word Count: 11.7K
Warnings: A lot of fluff. The slow burn is intense. This chapter is long because I wanted to add meaningful conversations. Spoilers for Season 4/Chapter 291! Dialogue from both sources. I don’t own anything. Haikyu belongs to Furudate Haruichi! Also, I added a scene that I found adorable. The Tiktok creator (astrq.ella) translates the fanmade manga into English and it's so cute!! Go check it out!
A/N: Obviously, the dialogue of the twins, Aran, Kita, etc are from the anime and manga. I tried my best to keep the flow of speech going throughout this chapter. Lol idk if I can keep up but I’ll do my best! When am I going to edit that dialogue in the previous chapter? Well, your guess is as good as mine! Also, I apologize for the sudden hiatus, my life is crazy but I hope you enjoy this new chapter.
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The match ended with a score of 30-32. With each team winning a set, the third and final set was their last chance to win, to advance, to stay alive in Nationals. The hunger to win was there. The sheer determination to win was there. The will, the passion, the… Well, everything. Each player on the Inarizaki had it all. They played with everything they had.
Atsumu proved to everyone, whether they were familiar with volleyball or not, how his setter skills were top tier and worthy to be labeled as the best high school setter. With his opponent being a setter that attended the same All-Japan Training Camp, he was pushed to another level to become a star setter.
Osamu covered for any tiny mistake his brother made during the match. The unspoken intuition between him and his brother every time he scored a point through their version of Karasuno’s quick attack. Never before had he felt so hungry during a match.
Aran played his role as the ace more than ever. With each difficult pass that was made, he made sure to call out for the ball and with his strength he scored a point for his team. The title of ace suited him as he proved it with each service ace and spikes that broke through Karasuno’s blocks. Gin followed his senpai’s footsteps closely as he scored points through difficult blocks and receiving difficult passes. 
Omimi kept up his blocking skills all throughout the match, turning Karasuno’s possible points into their points through his blocks. The same can be said with Suna. The middle blocker, despite his deadpan expression, didn’t slack off as per usual. He lived up to his title as one of the best middle blockers in Nationals as he kept his sharp game sense and surprised his opponents with his wide-range spike.
Akagi did his best as lead libero. He saved the team on multiple occasions through his receives. His eyes focused on the ball more than anything as he commanded his body to follow after it. With each received he made, it brought a sense of security to his teammates to continue playing. He was the cornerstone for his team’s defense and wasn’t about to slack off, not even for a second.
Kita kept his plays consistent all the while keeping the rambunctious second-years in check. But ever so often, the match brought out a side of him that hasn’t been felt for a long time. Karasuno wasn’t like any other team. Every player on that team pushed his teammates to their limits so many times that it made him crack a smile or two throughout the game. Karasuno were worthy opponents.
Even the first years challenged themselves to play. They didn’t hold anything back. 
And yet… 
“It’s a madhouse in here!” The announcer’s loud voice filled the arena of the crowd’s uproar. “The entire Tokyo gymnasium is shaking with the roar of the crowd!”
The Inarizaki manager was the first to snap out of it. She didn’t realize how loud it was before until now. The last sound she heard was the sound of the ball hitting their side of the orange court. Everything after that felt muffled in a sense as she stood there motionless.
(Y/N) looked at her team. With the exception of their chests moving, no one made an effort to walk off the court. Whether they were too tired to move or they were in disbelief at their loss, (Y/N) knew that her friends were taking this loss harder than usual. 
They were so close…
“We lost.” It helped saying those two words out loud. It didn’t lessen the sting obviously, but it confirmed her reality. 
Even more so when she saw how unbelievably happy Karasuno looked. Her eyes automatically looked for Asahi. When her eyes landed on his jersey number, her wounded heart swelled up with admiration. Under the bright gym lights, Asahi looked unbelievably happy as his arms wrapped around his teammates. He, along with his friends, were hugging the two first-years that made the incredible block against the twins’ attack. 
The scene made her smile bittersweetly. While she was sad that her team was no longer able to advance, losing the match to Karasuno didn’t feel too awful. The match was almost like a battle of wills. Everyone was fighting for a point. No one gave up, not even when the odds were against them. 
There was no way around it, Karasuno won fair and square and while this didn’t mean the end of the world for her… Today marks the end of her Spring Tournament journey… Wow. Third year brings out a different perspective more than anything.
(Y/N) reminded herself to breathe. She looked for Kita. Unsurprisingly, the captain’s observant gaze was on her already. He always had a knack in knowing what she was feeling. It has been like that since their first year. The two smiled at each as they were thinking the same thing.
They couldn’t be any prouder of their entire team.
“It’s time to line up.” Coach Kurosu instructed with Coach Ōmi following behind.
She nodded and wordlessly grabbed the white picket sign that showed her school’s name. The manager waited for her captain to step next to her. Once he did, she gave the sign in his hands. Their eyes met and (Y/N) knew he was going to be okay. 
Everyone lined up on either side of the net; their Karasuno counterpart right in front of them. (Y/N) looked ahead and she smiled when she was met with Kiyoko’s teary-eyed expression. She hoped those tears were of happiness and not of pity for her and her team. In unison, everyone bowed down and thanked each other for the game.
After standing back up, the players stepped forward to shake hands. (Y/N), along with the coaches, did the same. 
“That was a great game.” (Y/N) told her when they shook hands. “Anyone who says Karasuno’s a fallen powerhouse is kidding themselves.”
Kiyoko wiped away the tears that threatened to fall at her new friend’s words. “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to us.”
(Y/N) let out a good-natured chuckle. “You have a great team, Kiyoko. Take care of them because the competition is going to be even fiercer.”
“I will… And (Y/N)?”
“Hm?”
“I’m sorry-
“Don’t be.” The Inarizaki manager cuts her off. “Don’t apologize. You never know what’s going to happen. All we can do is our best and keep moving forward. Okay?”
“Okay.” 
“Good.” 
The girls smiled at each other. To Kiyoko’s surprise, (Y/N) gave her a tight hug. It took her a second but Kiyoko managed to hug back. The loud cheers of the arena along with the announcer’s voice almost made it impossible to hear (Y/N)’s next words but she still heard them all the same: “Keep winning.”
Kiyoko pulled away first as she gave her friend a determined nod. “We will.”
(Y/N) smiled at her one last time before following her teammates. She stood next to Kita in front of the Inarizaki cheer section. She scanned the crowd to see her fellow classmates and friends. They had tears streaming down their faces but it didn’t stop them from clapping or shouting words of encouragement. 
In the corner of her eye, she saw how frustrated Atsumu looked. Anyone who had eyes can tell by the expression he wore. 
With furrowed brows and a small pout to accompany it, Atsumu muttered under his breath, “C’mon. Boo us. Losers don’t need no consolation applause.”
To his surprise, one of the older fans called him out. “Shut yer mouth, Atsumu, ya little dimwit!”
(Y/N) smirked when her underclassman was taken aback; he’s probably thinking how on earth did the man see right through him. 
“It’s scrawled all over yer face, ya idjit!” The fan yelled at him, confirming (Y/N)’s theory from before. She didn’t miss the way Osamu smirked at his brother, most likely thinking he was a idiotic moron.
“A GOOD GAME’S A GOOD GAME, AND WE’RE GONNA TELL YOU IT WAS A GOOD GAME! YOU GOT THAT?!”
While the loss did sting, the fan’s words gave her a sense of pride. Everyone rallied behind the fan’s statement. The claps became louder. They shouted each member’s names, including her own, telling them it was a great game. They even brought out the hand-made signs that had their names on it and carried them proudly over their heads. (Y/N)’s eyes swept over the crowd until she was met with Kita’s grandmother’s gaze.
She met the older woman before on multiple occasions. Kita Yumie was the ideal grandmother as she wore a gentle smile that matched her kind eyes. The fact that she showed up to their game only proved how much she cared for her grandson and his team. Not to mention she wore a hand-made sweater that said ‘Good Luck Shinsuke’.
It didn’t help when the elder woman mouthed, “I’m proud of you all.”
(Y/N) could feel her tears well up around her eyes. She blinked rapidly to gain control but there was always that one tear that ended up escaping down her cheek. Her hand quickly wiped it away before her team saw. But, as always, the Inarizaki captain was watching.
He patted her back and gave her the same gentle smile that he shared with his grandmother. The smiles were almost identical. 
Wordlessly, everyone bowed to the Inarizaki cheering section and shouted, “THANK YOU VERY MUCH!”
~
As Coach Kurosu and Kita delivered their post-game interviews, (Y/N) busied herself with packing everything up. Once she deemed everything was accounted for, she zipped up her bag and took one last look at the orange court. It was bittersweet to say the least. 
“Can’t forget this.” Aran came up to her, her maroon Inarizaki jacket in his hand. “Y’alright?”
(Y/N) smiled at her friend and nodded as she put on her jacket. “I should be asking you that, Aran.”
The ace shrugged. “It hasn’t sunk in yet, y’know?”
She hummed in agreement. “I keep expecting to wake up but I pinched myself enough times to know this is real.”
The two third-years walked towards the crowd of journalists where their friend/captain continued to answer questions. As they waited on the sidelines, Aran couldn’t help but steal glances at his manager. Which of course didn’t go unnoticed by her. 
“Something wrong, Aran?”
He took a moment to find the right words before he spoke, “That samurai guy… He made some great plays.”
“He did, didn’t he?” (Y/N) recalled Asahi’s top moments of the match. A smile graced her lips when she remembered the moment Asahi feinted a spike that surprised both Aran and Akagi. She can tell by the look of his face that he didn’t mean to do that, all the while Inarizaki’s ace and libero glared at him. “Even our own fans cheered him on at one point.”
“I know right? But I couldn’t blame them for cheerin’.” Aran sighed as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. He mentally winced as he recalled the time Karasuno’s #3 received his spike with his shoulder. He didn’t want to brag but he knew for a fact that his spikes were strong. No doubt Azumane is going to have a bruise that will last a few days. “He’s definitely a strong ace.”
“You guys shook hands, right? Did you tell him something?” (Y/N) asked her friend, curiosity getting the best of her. 
Aran nodded. “Yeah, I told him something.”
(Y/N) waited for him to continue but when he didn’t say anything else she stepped in front of him. “Well? What did you tell him? You didn’t say anything mean, did you? He’s sensitive and-”
Her mini interrogation was cut off when Aran laughed and said, “Relax, (Y/N). I didn’t say anything mean.”
“Then what did you tell him?” She asked again, getting slightly annoyed by Aran’s secrecy.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s a guy thing.”
Oh, you suck.” (Y/N) pouted as she punched his arm repeatedly. “And here I thought you were the one guy that I can trust unconditionally. Guess Kita is the only one.”
“Aww. Don’t be like that.” Aran swung his arm over her shoulder and brought her in for a side hug. “After all we’ve been through these last three years, you’re just gonna toss me away like that?”
(Y/N) let out a small yelp when she felt Aran’s hand ruffle her hair. “Hey! My hair! It took me all morning to make it look good.”
“Oh?” Aran gave her a teasing smile that could rival the twins’. “You never do your hair for matches. You tryin’ to impress samurai guy?”
“S-Shut up! What’s wrong with me trying to look good?” (Y/N) defended, hoping Aran didn’t see through her tough act. “Are you really not going to tell me what you told him?”
Aran laughed and shook his head. “Nope!”
“Fine. I’m sure Kita would tell me.” She said before pulling away from the ace’s embrace. She wrinkled her nose before covering it. “You stink.”
(Y/N) opened her bag and gave him a clean towel. Aran huffed but didn’t argue because he knew he didn’t exactly smell like roses. He wiped away the sweat around his face and neck when he noticed his captain coming towards them.
“Looks like Kita’s done.”
“You guys were waiting for me?” Kita asked his friends. “You didn’t have to.”
“It’s tradition.” Aran pointed out. “We always walk together off the court.”
“It’s been like this since our first-year, Kita. Remember? Why would we change it now?” She added.
Kita hummed as his heart stirred at his friends’ words. “I guess not but let’s go. The next match is going to start soon and we shouldn't get in the way.”
He walked forward, missing the way his friends shared a knowing look. Together, the Inarizaki captain, ace, and manager made their way to the rest of the team that were patiently waiting for them.
Along the way, (Y/N) took the chance to ask the same question she asked Aran and hoped he would give her the answer she was hoping for. To her dismay, Kita gave her a soft smile and said, “Aran only told your friend the obvious.”
(Y/N) sighed. “You wound me, Shinsuke. I thought you were my friend. My best friend who would tell me everything. My good friend who should have my back after everything we went through. My-”
“Give it up, (Y/N).” Aran laughed at her attempt to guilt trip Kita. “I told ya it’s a guy thing.”
“That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.” (Y/N) complained as both captain and ace smirked at her. 
The third-year trio met up with their team and together they departed to the sub-arena. As they walked down the stairs, (Y/N) could practically feel her underclassmen heavy stares on her back. It was only a matter of time before someone said something.
It’s almost comical how she was able to call stuff out before they even happened, especially when the twins asked for Kita. Judging by the guilty expressions on their faces, it wasn’t hard to figure out what they were going to say.
In unison, the twins began their apology. “Um… We’re sorry-” 
But, as usual, Kita was one step ahead of them as he interrupted their speech. “What? Gonna apologize to me so you can feel a bit better about yourselves?”
Standing next to the captain, (Y/N) shivered under her jacket at Kita’s seemingly ice cold words and she wasn’t the only one who felt the effects. The Miya twins straightened up their posture and with similar embarrassed expressions they yelled, “Wha?! N-No! Course not!”
(Y/N) grinned at the second-years’ panicked response. She’s going to miss those two when she graduates in a couple of months. 
Kita smirked to himself and waved his hand in dismissal. “I know, I know. Sorry.” His expression changed into a pensive one. “But… I think you should save the apologies for when you’ve done something wrong.”
Atsumu and Osamu’s eyes seemed to glimmer under the light, taking their captain’s words to heart.
Kita continued. “I don’t think you made a mistake by choosin’ to do that quick set right then. I thought you were gonna score too… Though I hafta say I hate the idea of tryin’ stuff in real games that we ain’t done in practice first.”
The twins grimaced as their eyes looked at the ground with great interest. They looked so guilt-ridden because they knew Kita had a point. 
“Still,” (Y/N) spoke up, causing everyone to perk up. “The fact you guys were able to copy that quick attack on your first try was amazing. I’ve never seen anything like that.”
Aran nodded. “And that last rally there… We probably just picked the wrong guys to try it against.”
“I agree.” Kita said as he recalled the match’s final moments. “When you two get all fired up and gung-ho-like… You usually leave everybody else back behind you in the dust.” He paused, recalling Karasuno’s so-called ‘freak’ duo before continuing. “But this once, the other guys were just as fired up and gung-ho-like as you two… It was amazin’ right?”
The captain couldn’t help the smile that grew on his lips and (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile as well. It was a rare sight to see her friend smile but it never failed to warm her heart. Kita began his descent down the stairs but not before saying, “It ain’t every day you get to play a game like that against a team like that. We got real lucky… Good for you.”
(Y/N) chuckled at how her underclassmen looked so shocked after hearing Kita’s touching words. They must have thought he’d be his stoic self. They don’t realize that he’s happy that his teammates found worthy opponents in Karasuno.
“Wait…” Atsumu said. “Kita-san was smiling just now, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah.” Osamu confirmed, his eyes following his upperclassman.
Riseki stepped beside Atsumu and added, “I caught him smiling bunches during the game.”
“Bunches?!/Yer kiddin’.” The twins exclaimed at the same time, not believing the first-year’s statement.
They looked at their manager, mentally asking her if it was true. Their jaws dropped when she nodded and said, “He’s not a robot, you guys. Kita can smile. Don’t act so surprised when he shows his feelings.”
Kita stopped in his tracks when he heard his manager’s words. He stood there in silence, contemplating his next words that could leave a lasting impression on his team. 
After a moment, he admitted his feelings, “Still, for some reason I’m awfully frustrated. Now, I did everything I could proper and I did it right. I can say I don’t have any regrets and mean it as the honest truth. Results like winning and losing, they’re still just side effects that happen when I’m doin what I oughta be doin’. But… It’s funny.”
The captain of the Inarizaki volleyball team turned to look at his teammates. His eyes met with each one along with his rare gentle smile that surprised the first and second-years. 
“‘Well? Isn’t my team amazing?’ I wanted to say that even more.”
(Y/N) opened her mouth to say something but she was left speechless after listening to Kita’s speech. She tried so hard to contain her tears but it was no use. Her strong facade crumbled with each tear streaming down her face. Kita’s words etched into her heart and she hoped her juniors will continue to work hard in the future. At the thought of her juniors, (Y/N) glanced up at them only to see they were tearing up as well. Suna was the only one who remained tear-free but (Y/N) knew him well enough to know he’s feeling the same way as everyone else.
As she tried to compose herself, Osamu tearfully spoke up, “Please keep saying it, senpai.”
Atsumu followed up and declared, “We’ll be the kind of teammates you can brag about to your great-grandkids.”
Kita looked up to the ceiling with a hopeful look on his face. His smile grew even more after hearing the twins’ promise.
“I look forward to it.” 
And with that, the third-year captain turned around and continued to walk down the stairs. The rest of the Inarizaki team were left spellbound, too stunned to move an inch. 
“Come on. Let’s hurry up and get changed.” Kita advised them. He looked at his friends and his eyes softened when he saw the state (Y/N) and Aran was in. “You guys okay?”
(Y/N) couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped her lips. Automatically, her arms wrapped around him and hugged her friend tightly. It took a few seconds but she soon felt him hug back. Then she felt another pair of arms around them and it didn’t end there. In less than ten seconds, her and Kita were in the center of a massive group hug.
Inarizaki’s motto stated that they didn’t need the memories, but with this heartfelt moment she was experiencing… (Y/N) hoped her teammates would make an exception because she will definitely hold this memory close to her heart.
“You guys are the best. I wouldn’t manage any other team. Thank you for the last three years!”
It went without saying there wasn’t a single dry eye amongst the group.
“THANK YOU SENPAI!”
~Meanwhile in the baggage storage area~
Asahi never felt so exhausted before in his entire life. This match was, without a doubt, on his list of top three most difficult matches. The adrenaline from before seemed to evaporate the moment he stepped away from the court. He was sure he looked like the dictionary’s definition of tired. Despite the exhaustion and the victory under his belt, he felt conflicted.
He hasn’t seen (Y/N) since the final line up and he wondered if she was okay. Her team came close to winning. The last rally was really a battle of wills between his team and hers. He could only imagine the sting of hurtful defeat the moment the ball fell onto their court. And with (Y/N) being a third-year, it was her last chance to be with her team in Nationals.
Now her chance is gone… Asahi couldn’t help but feel a bit responsible for that. 
Which is why his eyes keep glancing at the entrance every five minutes, hoping to see her and talk for a minute. Even after he cleaned up and dressed back into his normal clothes, there was still no sign of the girl that made him nervous yet confident all at the same time.
It didn’t help how tired he felt. He yawned for what seemed like the fourth time today, but his tired eyes kept focus on the entrance. 
“Yo Asahi! You look like the walking dead.” Suga jested, sitting down next to him. “Everything okay?”
“Just tired. My arms feel like they’re going to fall off.”
Suga laughed and repeatedly slapped his aching back. “But you were great out there! You looked so dependable.”
Asahi let out a nervous chuckle. “Thanks. I didn’t want to let the team down.”
“Oh yeah? And here I thought you were just showing off for a certain Inarizaki manager. I caught (Y/N) smiling when you made that awesome service ace.”
“You did?” He hoped Suga wasn’t pulling his leg. The thought of (Y/N) smiling because of him felt too good to be true. 
Asahi wished he could have seen that smile but with how intense each set was he could only afford the briefest of glances in her direction. Thankfully, there was a moment they shared together that felt like an eternity. 
It was during a time out and he was intensely listening to Coach Ukai’s instructions. Kiyoko just handed him his water bottle and a clean white towel to which he gratefully took. He wiped away the beads of sweat that formed on his neck and face before taking a drink. As he took in the cold refreshing drink, his eyes drifted to the other side of the net where the Inarizaki players were huddled together. And there was (Y/N), doing the same thing as Kiyoko as she handed her teammates their water. She just gave her setter his water when she looked up and met his gaze.
His heart began to beat wildly against his chest and it had nothing to do with the high caliber game that was going on. Then she gave him that smile, the same smile that made him all warm and fuzzy on the inside, along with a small wave. His face began to burn bright red and for a few seconds he forgot how to breathe. Unfortunately, during those few seconds he was drinking his water which led to him having a small choking episode. Luckily, it wasn’t too bad so when he looked up and saw (Y/N)’s worried expression, wordlessly asking him if he was okay. Touched that she was worried for him, Asahi gave her a small nod and hoped it was enough to reassure her. 
The interaction lasted about maybe 45 seconds before the referee signaled for the game to continue but those 45 seconds were committed into memory, something he will cherish for a long time. He wondered if (Y/N) thought the same… 
“Are you remembering how you choked on your water when you looked at (Y/N)?” Suga laughed. “I thought you were going to pass out! Then we would’ve been in real big trouble!”
“I-It wasn’t that bad.” Aashi protested though he could feel his cheeks beginning to warm up. Trying to hide his blush, he grabbed a towel and wiped away the nonexistent sweat from his face. “She just surprised me, is all…”
Suga grinned at him. “How is it that you two are so adorably cute yet you guys aren’t even together?”
“Sorry?” The ace apologized with a confused look on his face because honestly he didn’t know what he was apologizing for. 
“Never mind. By the way, did Inarizaki’s ace say something to you when we shook hands?”
Asahi recalled that moment with Ojiro Aran. “Yeah, he did. He didn’t say anything bad. Just wished us luck in the next round.”
It was true…ish. His Inarizaki counterpart did wish him luck as well as some advice, something he wasn’t quite ready to share with his friends just yet.
“Huh, well that’s nice of him. He looks like a cool guy. The kind you want to hang out with, you know?” Suga remarked.
Asahi nodded. His eyes took a quick glance at the entrance, hoping to see the familiar maroon-colored Inarizaki jackets. He tried not to look disappointed when he didn’t see anyone on the team.
“I just can’t believe that Aran guy!” Suga exclaimed. “He was on a roll so many times. I can’t believe he jumped for the ball not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES!”
“Uh-huh.”
Suga furrowed his brow at his friend’s lack of active response. He was just about to ask him what’s wrong when he took one look at his face. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was on his mind.
“Lighten up, Asahi, I’m sure your future girlfriend will walk through those doors any minute now.”
Another wave of heat washed over him as he tried to stutter out a reply. “I-It’s been a while. I wanted to talk with her before we go back to the inn.”
Initially, Suga was going to poke fun at the fact Asahi didn’t deny the ‘future girlfriend’ part but he decided against it. 
“I’m sure she’s with her team right now, Asahi. They lost their place in the Spring Tournament so they must be torn up. After all, they were the favorites to win this whole thing.”
“Yeah, I know. That's why I want to talk with her to see if she’s okay. I mean I know she’s a third-year so this is her last year, so I can’t help but feel bad.”
“I thought you guys agreed on being cool whatever the outcome was?” Suga asked.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t feel bad for her.” Asahi countered. “I mean, I’m happy we won but… I don’t know… I wished it was different.”
Suga sighed but he understood where his sensitive friend was coming from. “I get it, Asahi, but you also need to stand proud for what you accomplished, it’s almost like a slap in the face to her and her team if you don’t. I’m sure if (Y/N)-san was here, she’ll agree with me.”
Asahi slightly grimaced but he couldn’t find any fault in Suga’s advice. After all, he did make an agreement with (Y/N) before the match started that they would stay on good terms whatever the results may be. Still, the thought of her being sad, especially when he was the cause of it, made his heart tighten in anxiety.
The ace was brought out of his thoughts when he felt Suga’s hand on his shoulder, “Just breathe. Everything will work out in the end. So quit giving yourself a panic attack.”
“Right.” 
Following his friend’s advice, Asahi took a deep breath to calm his nerves and to get rid of the worst case scenarios in his head. It was difficult to say the least with each passing minute and there was still no sign of (Y/N) or her team. During the time he waited, he made the choice to sit on the bench closest to the entrance. 
Asahi was very much aware of the stares from the other players but he didn’t take it to heart. Instead, he kept his cool composure while his hands were balled up inside his black jacket. That’s when he felt his phone and an idea formed at once. He quickly pulled out his phone, clicked (Y/N)’s contact, but then stared at the blinking cursor.
‘What should I text her? Something short and sweet? No, it should be something meaningful. But if I do that then it will be a super long text and it might freak her out… Gah! Why is it so hard making a good text?’
“Listen up everybody!” Coach Ukai announced loudly. “We leave in a few minutes. Get your stuff and head outside.”
Focused on the task at hand, his mind wracked for the right words that would check off the metaphorical checklist of the perfect text. After a few rough drafts and deleting a few words here and there, Asahi was more or less sure, 85% sure, he wrote a good enough text. All he had to do was press the send button.
His thumb hovered over the button for a moment and at the same time his heart was beating like crazy. It’s unbelievable how nervous (Y/N) made him even when she’s not physically there next to him. He wished he could at least see her.
“Chop! Chop! Man-bun! Our ride is here!” 
Asahi shuddered under Coach Ukai’s nickname designed specifically for him. Without thinking, he hurried to pocket his phone, grabbed his bag, and joined his team. He looked over his shoulder one last time before following his team to the bus. Once he sat down, he took out his phone and opened up his messages when his heart jumped to his throat.
Message sent.
His message to (Y/N) has been delivered. 
He must have accidently sent it when he was getting his stuff together when Coach Ukai called him out. Maybe it was for the best. He wasn’t mentally ready to send the text but perhaps it was for the best. A little push from the gods to give him a little boost of confidence.
Now all he could do was wait for her reply. The anticipation of her response was suspenseful to say the least. Either way, at least he could breathe a bit more easily now that his text message was sent. He just wished he had another chance to talk with her.
~
(Y/N) stood right next to Suna as they all stood in line underneath their Inarizaki banner. Her attention focused on Riseki who was pointing the camera, ready to take the commemorative photo Kita had asked for. She put on her best smile and placed her hand on her hip, ready for the picture to be taken.
She felt a subtle shift in her hair and automatically her other hand went to pinch Suna’s arm as she knew how childish the middle blocker was for making bunny ears from behind. 
“Really, Suna?” She quietly chided, making sure to keep her smile on for the camera. “Bunny ears? What are you? Nine?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, senpai.”
“Watch yourself, Suna. I know your phone’s passcode. Don’t tempt me.” 
Suna pouted slightly before removing his hand away. He’ll just have to time it the moment the picture is taken. Easy enough.
“Ready? Say cheese!” Riseki called out.
Ding! (Y/N)’s phone alerted her that she received a text message.
Bi-Bip! Kashik! The camera took the picture without a hitch.
Multiple events happened at once the moment Riseki took the picture. What was supposed to be a normal commemorative picture that enshrined Inarizaki’s great volleyball players turned out nothing of the usual. Everyone gathered around the first-year to look at the picture, hoping it turned out alright. It didn’t take long for opinions and excuses to start flying all around.
“What the heck, Samu!” Atsumu exclaimed to his brother. “Look at the camera, wouldja!”
Osamu shrugged his shoulders and offered his excuse, “I thought I caught a whiff of curry comin’ from outside.”
“Curry? You’re imagining things!” Ginjima laughed but he wouldn’t be surprised if the ever-so-hungry Miya was right.
Suna joined in on the banter as he said, “You’re hallucinating smells now? Scary.” 
“Like you’ve got room to talk, Suna!” Aran called out the middle blocker. “You weren’t lookin’ at the camera, neither! Or you, Akagi!”
The libero offered the ace a smile. “I was thinkin’ maybe we oughta go call coach.”
Ōmimi sighed while closing his eyes at his team’s antics. He looked at Riseki, who stared wordlessly at the camera’s screen with a sweatdrop rolling down his face. “Time it better next time.”
Suna took one more look at the picture and his lips formed a smile when he saw his bunny ears hand gesture behind (Y/N)’s head. Even with the silly hand gesture unbeknownst to (Y/N), the manager looked effortlessly beautiful with her smile. He was sure if the president of the yearbook club were to see this picture, he wouldn’t hesitate to put it front and center of the dedicated pages because of their lovely manager that could charm any guy with a smile.
Speaking of their manager, Suna never heard her opinions about the picture. He looked up and his eyes searched for her. It didn’t take long to find her. She was in the same spot as she was in the photo though this time with her phone in hand. Come to think of it, he remembered her phone notifying her that she received a message.
Who could be texting her? He had a pretty good guess.
“Yo.” He called out to (Y/N) before peering over her shoulder. His eyes strained to read the screen before she quickly pressed her phone to the chest. “Is the samurai guy texting you already?”
She turned around and gave him a soft glare. “Quit sneaking up behind me, Suna.”
Suna ignored his manager’s words as he swung his arm over her shoulders. “Don’t dodge the question. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“... Maybe.” (Y/N) smiled up at her friend. “How did the picture come out? Are we taking another one?”
“Nah. I think Kita-senpai liked it. Said it looked just like us or something like that. You looked great compared to the rest of us.”
(Y/N) playfully rolled her eyes, “I would hope so. You guys need a shower. Like badly.”
“I take it back. You looked horrible.” Suna huffed in what was supposed to be annoyance but the third-year manager knew better as she saw the playful glint in his eyes. “Now I don’t feel bad for doing bunny ears behind your back.”
“You’re such a rascal. Just wait, I’ll get even with you.” (Y/N) informed him with a mischievous glint in her (E/C) eyes.  
“I like to see you try.” Suna remarked as he removed his arm away from her. 
Ever the observer, he looked for any signs of sadness that (Y/N) may be hiding. Today’s loss was a harsh reality for the entire team’s expectations to make it far into this competition. He’ll never admit it to anyone but he did try his hardest to help his team win. He wanted to keep playing more matches with the third-years… 
“You okay?” He asked her after sharing a moment of silence. “You can tell me the truth. I won’t tell anyone.”
(Y/N) couldn’t help but let out a light chuckle, leaning her head back to look at the gym lights. She replayed all the best moments from the match with a fond smile across her lips. There were no regrets at all as she answered, “Honestly and strangely, I feel fine. I know you guys played your best against them so that’s all I could ask for. If anything, I’m grateful for Karasuno because I know for a fact this loss will only push everyone, including you, to become better. ”
Suna frowned at the idea of the extra drills and long practices that will no doubt be inevitable. But before the tiring thought could take over his entire mind, the sudden urge to win against Karasuno grew tenfold. By this time next year, Inarizaki will come out victorious.
“I haven’t lost you, have I, Suna?” (Y/N) asked in a teasing tone. “How on earth are you going to manage your third-year?”
“Don’t ask.” Suna groaned. “You’ve been with us since day one. It’s going to be weird without you and the rest of the third-years around. We’ll miss you.”
(Y/N) bit her lip in order to contain the laugh that threatened to slip out. “I’m not dying, Suna. I can’t stay in high school forever.”
“Not forever. Just stay another year with us.” Suna clarified.
“Tempting offer but this girl would like to step out into the real world. Besides, don’t pretend you aren’t going to send me daily texts. I’m counting on your videos to cheer me up.” (Y/N) smiled one more time at Suna before patting his back. “Now, come on. Let’s get going. We wouldn’t want to keep everyone waiting.”
“Oh? What’s the rush? Eager to see samurai-guy again?”
She could feel herself getting warm from Suna’s line of questions. Though it didn’t stop her from saying, “His name is Azumane Asahi.”
Suna exhaled but still smiled nonetheless. “If he cares for you, the same way you care for him then I guess I’ll remember his name.”
(Y/N) smiled at Suna and nodded. As the middle blocker made his way to follow the rest of the team, the manager slowly trailed after him. She took out her phone and reread the text Asahi sent her.
Hey (Y/N)-san. I don’t know if you want to hear from me or not but I hope you do. I wanted to talk with you face-to-face but I’m about to leave. I was waiting for you but I guess you were busy? I mean, I understand if you were. So if you’re free and if there’s any chance we could talk in person somehow, could you text me back? I want to explain myself to you (if that makes sense). Please… Thanks.
Even with words on a phone screen, (Y/N) can feel how anxious Asahi must have been when writing this message. It was almost adorable in a way. Then again, the fact that he said he waited for her really had her heart skip a beat.
She quickly typed her response:
Hi Asahi! I’m sorry we couldn’t meet up after the match. We were taking a picture and it took longer than expected lol. I’m sorry you waited for me. I wanted to talk with you too. Congrats on winning! It was a great game! If it’s okay with you, do you want to meet up tonight? Our coach is taking us out to eat so I’ll text you when we’re back at the hotel. 
It didn’t take long for another message to show up and she felt herself smile like a fool in love when she opened and read Asahi’s text.
If it’s no trouble then yeah let’s meet up. Enjoy your meal and see you soon.
(Y/N) smiled to herself once more as she held her phone close to her heart. She couldn’t wait to see him again. 
~Hours Later~
“SAMU!! QUIT STEALING MY ONIGIRI!!” 
“IT WAS MINE FIRST AND YOU KNOW IT!!”
(Y/N) sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time today but the amused smile never left her lips as she watched the twins continue to bicker. The other third-years sitting next to her also watched in amusement while adding their own comments.
“I’m gonna miss this.” (Y/N) confessed when she took a sip of her drink. “You can always count on the twins for entertainment.”
“Right? It’s going to be weird without hearing their arguments.” Aran laughed.
“Or separating their fights once every two weeks.” Akagi added.
“They’ll be fine.” Kita spoke up from the center of the table. “They all will.”
And strangely enough, no one doubted the captain’s words. (Y/N) had no doubt in her mind that by this time next year, their juniors will make it to Nationals once again and when that time comes, she’ll be there. 
“Hey (Y/N)-senpai? You’re still treating me to dessert, right?” Osamu asked from across the table. Sticky pieces of rice danced around his mouth but still had that hungry look in his eyes. 
“HUH?! If he gets dessert, then I should too!” Atsumu proclaimed.
Yeah. She’ll definitely be there for them. 
~
After leaving the restaurant with stomachs filled with ramen, curry, onigiri, and other delicious meals, the Inarizaki manager took her phone out and texted Asahi that she was on her way back to the hotel. With each passing minute, (Y/N) could feel herself become excited yet nervous at the same time. It wasn’t long until the familiar building of her hotel was right in front of her.
On the walk back to the hotel, she was laughing along with the rest of the third-years when she heard her name being called from outside the group. 
“Asahi!” (Y/N) greeted him with a wave. It was almost natural to have a smile on her lips; the crush she had on Karasuno’s ace was so obvious. She can practically feel her face burn with all the warm fuzzy feelings against January’s chilly air. 
“H-Hey (Y/N)!” He waved at her before giving the crowd of boys a nod of acknowledgement. His mind racked for the right words to say to them, but having ten or so guys staring (were they glaring at him?) made it almost impossible. Still, Asahi found the ability to speak and without stuttering he said, “Hey guys. Er, nice to see you again.”
While the first-years were too scared to reply and the second-years tried to maintain their silent dominance, it was Aran and Kita that finally broke the tension.
“Nice to see you too. Azumane, right?” Kita asked, giving the ace a warm smile. “You played a great game.”
“Oh, thanks! You guys did too.” Asahi returned the compliment, meaning every word. 
“Your receives were impressive, Azumane-san.” Aran followed up. “How’s your shoulder? Hope I didn’t hurt you too badly.”
Funny how at the mention of his shoulder, Asahi felt it throb in pain. Still, he made himself smile and lied, “It’s nothing I can’t handle. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”
“That’s good to hear.” Aran laughed in good nature. “Karasuno is definitely a team to watch out for. Hope you’re ready for tomorrow.”
There were a couple of scoffs and a few mumbles but Asahi was sure he heard someone say, “Day three is always hell.” But before he could ask, (Y/N) clapped her hands together and stood in front of him. 
“Guys, let’s not make Asahi nervous. He doesn’t need the extra stress.” She told her friends, making sure to give the second-years a pointed look just as Atsumu opened his mouth to say something. “Why don’t you all head inside? I’ll catch up with you guys later.”
Kita nodded. “Alright, don’t stay out too long. You’ll catch a cold.”
“I’ll make sure she stays warm.” Asahi was quick to say, not realizing the slight innuendo his words sounded until it was too late. “I-I mean-”
Atsumu stepped forward with Osamu right behind him. “Oh, now we’re definitely staying.” 
“No you are not.” 
The Inarizaki setter flinched under Kita’s ice cold words that felt like a punch to the gut. 
“B-But (Y/N)-senpai-”
“Let’s go, you two.” Aran placed his hands on each of the twin’s shoulders before forcing them to the hotel’s entrance. “I’m sure your company isn’t needed.”
“What are you talking about? I make great company.” Atsumu argued.
Osamu scoffed. “Not really.”
“Shut yer trap, ‘Samu!”
Kita sighed before facing (Y/N) and Asahi. “Sorry about them. They mean well. Go ahead and have your conversation.”
“Thanks, Shin.” (Y/N) told him as she hugged her friend. “You’re the best.”
“No problem.” 
With one final wave, the Inarizaki captain followed the rest of his team. He helped Aran push the resistant twins into the hotel, but not before Osamu yelled, “No funny business!” 
“Yeah! What ‘Samu said!” Atsumu called out from over Aran’s shoulders. “(Y/N)-senpai is our manager. Don’t hurt her!”
“QUIT TALKIN’ AND GET INSIDE, YA STUPID TWINS!” Aran yelled as he gave one last push to make the Miya brothers enter the hotel.
(Y/N) sighed before facing her crush. It wasn’t until now she realized how warm she felt until a cold breeze flew by. It was funny how a crush can emit such feelings. She wouldn’t deny she never had a crush before. Perhaps there were fleetings moments of admiration and adoration to some guys at school and an embarrassing fangirl crush on famous celebrities.
But never before have the butterflies in her stomach felt so impactful. Asahi has unknowingly made his way to her heart and caused the warm feeling of love to bloom.
Which is why she couldn’t help but smile up at Asahi. He looked taller up close. Broader too. His hair wasn’t in its usual style, instead it was in a low man bun with a few strands framing his face very well. His eyes remained kind and warm and she could feel herself fall deeper in love with him. 
“So,” (Y/N) began, her hand instinctively tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Your text said you wanted to talk? 
“Y-Yeah.” Asahi confirmed nervously. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything with your team. You guys look close.” 
She smiled at how anxious Asahi was behaving and a small part of her hoped it was because of her. “I could say the same thing about your team, but don’t worry about them. We spent the entire evening together so they should be fine without me for a while.”
“Are you sure?” Asahi asked, the worry in his voice was evident and (Y/N) knew she had to do something to help him calm down. “I-If y-you rather be with t-them-”
Without a second thought, (Y/N) took his hand and held it reassuringly, “I want to be with you.”
Her heart swelled when she saw how Asahi’s eyes seemed to light up as he asked, “Really?”
“Really.” She confirmed, her voice firm yet gentle that washed away all doubt in Asahi’s mind. “Now, come on. Let’s sit down and have a friendly chat.”
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Never before has Asahi felt his heart beating so fast against his chest than it was at this very moment. He was feeling hot and cold at the same time. His stomach was in multiple knots with those metaphorical butterflies dancing between his ribcage. Was it weird for his mind to go a million miles a minute yet he couldn’t figure out what to say to the most beautiful girl he’d ever laid eyes on? 
(Y/N) looked like an angel sitting under the strings of outdoor lights. Even while wearing casual winter clothes with her maroon Inarizaki jacket and a red scarf, Asahi thought she looked ethereal. Her (H/C) hair looked so elegant, almost magical in a sense when he noticed tiny snowflakes decorating her head, like shimmering diamonds. Then there was that smile of hers. A smile that made him feel like he could do anything in the world. He wished he could see that smile of hers for the rest of his life.
“So, what did you want to talk about, Asahi?” (Y/N) asked, her eyes were bright and inquisitive. “Your text said you wanted to explain yourself?”
“Y-Yeah, I did.” He admitted, his hand rubbing the back of neck. He took a deep breath to calm down before facing his crush. “I-I wanted t-to apologize.”
(Y/N) furrowed her brow upon hearing this. “What? Asahi, what are you- H-Hey!”
He was bowing his head and before she could ask further questions, Asahi spoke, “I-I’m sorry that w-we ruined your chance to advance. Y-You guys were the favorites to win this whole thing! A-And it’s y-your last year too! I’m sorry we took your chance away. Please forgive me!”
Asahi didn’t dare raise his head after spilling everything he felt ever since the match ended. He could feel his ears beginning to burn against the cold air. The silence was unnerving and it didn’t help when his mind was overtaken by anxiety.
‘Why would (Y/N) ever forgive me?’ He frustratedly asked himself. ‘She probably hates me. No. I’m sure she hates me and probably everyone on my team.’
‘(Y/N) is not like that. She’s kind, considerate…’ The tiny voice of hope spoke up. ‘She doesn’t hate you. You’re friends-’
But the dark voice of anxiety and doubt took over. ‘For now. (Y/N) probably only agreed to talk to you so she can say it’s over. She doesn’t want anything to do with you. Why would she be friends with the person who stole her and her team’s chance to win?!’
“Asahi.” (Y/N)’s voice sounded so soft and full of care. It may sound crazy but just hearing his name in her voice made Asahi feel the warmest he has ever felt. “Please look at me.”
He didn’t want to but something in her voice reassured him, similar to a ray of sunlight after a hurricane. Slowly, Asahi looked up and his eyes immediately found comfort in (Y/N)’s eyes. His heart skipped a beat when he saw (Y/N) was smiling up at him, not an ounce of hate anywhere.
“I thought we agreed that whatever the outcome of the match, we’ll be okay?” (Y/N) asked before taking hold of his hand, the very hand she shook when they made the agreement. “We shook on it, remember?”
Asahi felt himself flush under her words but he still found the courage to speak as he said, “I-I just thought… You would, I-I don’t know…hate me after what happened today.”
“I would never! Today’s match was the result of everyone’s hard work. Everyone played amazing. You guys won fair and square. If there’s anything I should feel, I think being grateful comes to mind. In fact, I feel like I should thank you.”
“Thank me?” Surely, he must have heard her wrong.
But (Y/N) flashed him a bright grin and nodded, “You and your teammates gave motivation to my team the next time they get to Nationals. I’m not sure if you realized this, Asahi, but you guys represent Nationals to a lot of people now.”
“Are you sure? I feel bad. I want to do something, anything, to make you feel better.”
Out of everything that came to mind, Asahi wasn’t expecting to be punched in the shoulder by the girl he has a major crush on. It was just like yesterday, (Y/N)’s punch wasn’t as forceful as Suga’s nor was it delicate and yet it was enough to send shivers and goosebumps all throughout his body. Then when her eyes met his, Asahi swore his breath was taken away with how close she was to him.
“First, you can stop feeling bad. I’m okay, really.” Her hand lifted again and Asahi mentally prepared himself to be punched again only to have her hand on his shoulder. (Y/N) offered a gentle smile before continuing on. “And second, if you really want to make me feel better then take the win. Take it and do the same thing tomorrow. Play each set and win some more. I promise if you do that, I’ll be more than okay because I’ll be rooting for you.”
Just hearing her words of encouragement was enough to make his head spin. All the self-doubt threatening to take over his mind washed away. How does she do that? Say these words so easily that brought him back from the edge? Words that held such meaning that easily helped him calm down and breathe.
“Asahi? You okay?” 
“Ah! Yeah! Sorry! It’s just…” Asahi looked at his feet, his hand scratching his cheek. “You just surprised me is all…”
(Y/N) was taken aback before smiling, “I hope that’s a good thing. But I meant what I said, Asahi. Though if you’re still worried about me being sad and you were serious about making me feel better then maybe… You could do me a favor?”
Asahi jumped at the chance and nodded furiously. “Anything!”
It was hard to hide the laugh that threatened to escape but (Y/N) can’t help how adorable Asahi was behaving. He’s a teddy bear. Ugh! She just wanted to hug this gentle giant!
“Win the next match for us.” 
He opened his mouth to say something, anything really, but his mind was still reeling of how sincere (Y/N) was with him at this moment. His eyes never left hers, searching for any hint of sadness or bitterness. Instead, he felt himself getting lost the longer he gazed into those beautiful, kind eyes. 
After what felt like a lifetime, Asahi found his voice and for the first time his voice did not waver, “We will.”
(Y/N) smiled before nudging her shoulder against his. “That’s the spirit! Plus look on the bright side, Karasuno is getting popular. I’m sure after today you guys earned some fans cheering you on. You’re definitely going to have fans cheering you on.”
Asahi let out a nervous chuckle. “I guess so. I just hope I don’t disappoint them tomorrow.”
“Hey!” A series of soft pats made their mark on his shoulder and Asahi could feel himself flush under her touch. “Think positive! Remember you’re not alone. You have your friends and the rest of your team that you can rely on.”
There was a moment of hesitation. He can see it in her eyes though it was gone because (Y/N) smiled at him and said words he won’t be forgetting anytime soon, “And if it helps, you have me too.”
She didn’t physically hug him but she might as well have with her words that filled Asahi’s whole being with warmth. 
“It does. Thanks, (Y/N). You-” Asahi stopped himself when he realized he was about to say something embarrassing. Instead he said what he always thought since yesterday, “You’re amazing.”
This time it was her turn to flush under his gaze. His warm brown eyes had her melting in her seat. Out of habit, (Y/N) let out a nervous laugh before playing with a strand of her hair, “I’m not as cool as you, Asahi, but thank you for saying that.”
The two high schoolers sat in comfortable silence underneath the twinkling lights and while neither one of them said a word they found themselves gazing at the dark sky full of stars. Maybe there was a stolen glance or two but no one said anything. 
“Hey, Asahi?”
“Yeah?”
“This is going to sound a bit weird but… What’s your star sign?”
Asahi furrowed his brow but he answered nonetheless. “I’m a Capricorn.”
For some reason, a childhood memory played in his mind and the thought of it made him smile. It was a bit silly thinking about it but it was a precious memory all the same. 
“You know, when I was a little kid I used to spend all my time looking for the Capricorn constellation.”
“Oh? Any reason why?” (Y/N) asked with genuine curiosity.
Asahi looked up at the sky full of stars. It was a shame they were in Tokyo as the bright city’s lights made the stars look faint, almost dim.
“Well, I thought that if I could find my constellation in the sky and make a wish it would come true.” The ace felt his neck grow hot when he confessed the next detail. “But whenever I couldn’t find it, I would go crying to my grandma.”
“Aww, Asahi.” (Y/N) cooed though there was a faint glint of amusement in her eyes. Her imagination took over as she thought of how cute Asahi must have been as a kid. He must have been the sweetest little kid with the biggest heart. “That’s adorable. Do you still look for your sign or did you grow out of it?”
“Will you think it's embarrassing if I admit I still do?” Asahi asked.
“Course not. I think it’s sweet to carry on your childhood tradition. I hope you made a lot of wishes.” (Y/N) looked back at the sky and sighed. “I wish I could see my star sign right now. I don’t even know what mine looks like.”
“Really?”
(Y/N) rubbed her hands together, trying to bring back some warmth. “You can’t really see the stars well back in Hyōgo.” 
Asahi rubbed his neck. “Well, if you want… I could show you.”
Surprised, (Y/N) looked at him before asking, “You would do that for me? You know you don’t have to, right?”
“I want to. You did a lot to help me. Besides, after looking at the stars for so long I’m sure I can find your star sign.” He looked at the sky and his heart physically deflated when he saw how faint the stars looked above the Tokyo city’s lights. “Though I won’t have any luck seeing any constellations tonight. I’m sorry.”
(Y/N) giggled before nudging her shoulder with his. “You really like apologizing, don’t you Asahi? It’s not like you could control the weather or light pollution. But it’s nice of you to offer. Maybe one day I can visit Miyagi and see what the stars are like from your perspective.”
Asahi felt his heart skipping a beat at the sound of her laughter and the smile in her eyes. While he only met her literally yesterday, he felt comfortable enough to relax around her, even if his heart was going a hundred miles an hour and his skin felt like lava.
He didn’t know where he found this extra boost of confidence to say, “I could show you around if you want. Miyagi has a lot of hidden gems that only locals know about. We can hang out i-if you want to.”
“I’d like that. Can’t wait for the tour.” (Y/N) said as she clapped her hands together in glee. “Maybe one day, you could visit Hyōgo and I could show you around too!”
“If it’s not a bother to you then yeah, I could pay a visit.”
“Great!” (Y/N) exclaimed. “Hyōgo has a lot of tourist attractions we can visit. I’ll show you all my favorite spots! Oh, like the Kobe Port Tower! It’s 108 meters high and it's designed to look like a traditional Japanese drum. It has an observation deck where you can see for miles! It even has a revolving cafe! Or if you don’t like heights, there's the Himeji Castle. It’s a very popular tourist spot because of its architecture-” 
It was only then she realized how much she was rambling. She glanced at Asahi only to find him already staring at her with those warm brown eyes, as if she did something amazing. Embarrassed, (Y/N) tried to hide herself behind her red scarf.
“Sorry.” What was she apologizing for? (Y/N) didn’t know. Maybe Asahi’s habit of excessive apologizing was starting to rub off on her. “I got excited for a second. I ramble whenever it’s a topic I’m passionate about. I know architecture is a bit boring to some people but I think it’s so cool to see the different kinds of designs buildings can have and- Oh. Sorry I’m rambling again.”
“I don’t mind.” Asahi told her along with a soft smile. “I think it’s cute.” 
(Y/N)’s eyes widened when she heard her crush calling her cute. Did he realize what he just said? Or did she imagine it? So she had to ask, “Did you just say cute?”
The look on Asahi’s face quickly morphed into one of panic as he tried to jumble out a reply with an obvious blush painting his face, “I- Uh? No? I mean, I did. B-But I-I meant you’re rambling. N-Not you specifically. W-Wait! I think you’re cute too! P-Pretty even!”
(Y/N) couldn’t hold back her laughter at how panicked Karasuno’s ace was currently behaving. So strong on the court and yet he was practically shaking like a fall leaf. 
“Asahi, it’s okay. Breathe.” She placed her hand on his shoulder, hoping it offered comfort. “It’s just me.”
“I-I know.” He took a deep breath before facing her. “But I meant what I said. A-About you.”
There goes her heart again, beating like crazy against her chest. “Thanks Asahi… I… I think you’re pretty cute too. And you’re an amazing player.” She sighed longingly. “I just wish I can see you guys play again.”
“Wait,” Asahi furrowed his brow, concerned . “You aren’t coming to the match tomorrow?”
“I…I don’t know. I heard the coaches talk about it during dinner. Apparently, the principal called. He expected us to place further along in the tournament and since we didn’t… Well, there’s a chance we might go back to Hyōgo tomorrow morning.”
“Oh.” He couldn’t hide the bitter disappointment in his voice. Now more than ever, he didn’t want this night to end. It might sound a bit silly but he wanted to keep seeing (Y/N). Today’s victory dimmed in comparison now that he learned this might be the last time he’ll see (Y/N) in a long time. “Sorry again.”
“Hey, come on, Asahi.” (Y/N) got up from her spot and stood in front of him. “You don’t have to keep apologizing. There’s nothing to forgive.”
“Are you sure?” His eyes pleaded for the truth. 
(Y/N)’s light chuckle pulled his heartstrings and the vibrations sent warmth from his chest all the way to his fingertips. He can feel himself falling in love with her all over again when she surprised his soul out of his body the moment her hands touched his. She pulled him towards her and he was so anxious he almost tripped over his own feet as he stood in front of her. 
Then Asahi felt it. Her arms wrapped around his torso bringing him close. It was a hug that sent a huge swarm of butterflies in his stomach. She was so close, closer than he has ever been to her. Wait… That’s not exactly true. Yesterday, when he saved (Y/N) from getting hurt, he was able to pull her aside just in time. (Y/N) stood right next to him with his arm around her. It was the first time he ever did something that brave and he remembered every second of it in that short moment.
But that moment of (Y/N) being next to him so close only lasted a minute. Asahi thought nothing could top the moment he met the girl that made his heart race. 
Boy, was he wrong. Maybe his so-called bad fortune from his new year shrine visit was wrong. Or maybe the gods thought it was time to cut him a break. Perhaps he did something in his past life that granted him this moment right now. Whatever it was, he didn’t want this moment to end.
(Y/N) had her ear pressed into Asahi’s firm chest as she continued to hug him. She could hear how fast his heart was beating and she smiled to herself because of it. It was cute that she had this kind of effect on her crush. 
“(Y/N)?” His deep voice reached her ears and while she couldn’t see him she could imagine the nervous expression on his face. “Is this okay? You hugging me? I mean, w-we only met yesterday…”
“Are you uncomfortable with me hugging you, Asahi?” 
“No!” He was quick to reply. “I just meant… You don’t have to hug me.”
“You’re my friend and this is my way of showing you that there’s really nothing to forgive. You don’t have to apologize anymore.” She pulled away and smiled brightly up at him. “Deal?”
“Deal.” 
“Good.”
“Great.”
“Amazing.”
“Awesome.”
“Cool.”
“Uhh… Warm?”
(Y/N) raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”
Asahi let out a nervous chuckle. “I-I don’t know. You’re warm so I said what was off the top of my head.”
The two high schoolers stared at each other before they laughed together. They were still in each other’s arms but they made no movement to separate. If anyone were to walk by and saw them together, no one would have any doubts about how genuine young love can be.
Which is why they were surprised to hear a familiar voice that broke the calm, soothing atmosphere around them. 
“Oh? Asahi-senpai! I didn’t know you had a girlfriend!” 
(Y/N) pulled away but she didn’t stray too far as she stood her ground by Asahi’s side. Her eyes met with the innocent yet excited eyes of Karasuno’s #10, Hinata Shoyo and not far from him was the other half of the terrifying duo, Kageyama Tobio. Well, at least no else was here- Oh. Wait. Was that Tsukishima on a bicycle? 
“Hinata!” Asahi shouted before turning back to (Y/N). “Sorry about him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
The manager smiled and reassured him that it was okay. She then turned to face Karasuno’s first years and introduced herself. They did the same and Asahi was just about to sigh in relief when-
“So are you Asahi-senpai’s girlfriend?” This time it was Kageyama who asked.
(Y/N) felt her neck warm up and it wasn’t because of her scarf. Out of habit, she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear before answering, “No, I’m not. I’m just a friend.”
Hinata and Kageyama looked satisfied with the answer. However, Tsukishima looked unconvinced. His calculated eyes looked at his upperclassman as if asking for the truth. Asahi tried to convey the silent message to leave them alone to the middle blocker, hoping they could leave them alone. Preferably before the duo could ask any more embarrassing questions.
“Hey, Asahi-san, why are you holding hands-”
“Come on, you two,” Tsukishima, Asahi’s savior right now, grabbed their collars. He bowed before his upperclassmen before dragging his teammates. “We finished your nightly jog. It’s time to get back.”
“Ack! You’re choking me!” Hinata cried.
“You don’t have to push! Besides, Asahi has to come too!” Kageyama argued, clearly frustrated at how he was being manhandled by the snarky middle blocker.
“No. Asahi’s right where he has to be.” Tsukishima stated. “You idiot.”
“HUH?!”
(Y/N) watched in amusement as the trio of first years entered their little inn. “They sure are interesting.”
“Sorry about that. They can be a bit much.”
“Oh, that’s okay. The Miya twins are like that too. But I think… I should let you get back. It’s getting late and you need your sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day for you.”
“Right. Tomorrow…” Asahi wished there were more than 24 hours in the day. “So I guess this is it?”
“Yeah...”
Her hand was still interlocked with his but did not make the effort to leave. She still wanted to spend time with him. Instead, she said, “So, um, good luck tomorrow. I might not be there in person but I’ll be cheering for you.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.”
“You got this Asahi.” She gave him one last hug. “I know you do.”
The ace hugged her back one last time before he awkwardly pulled away. (Y/N) cleared her throat before smiling.
“Keep in touch?” She asked.
Asahi nodded. “Of course. I’ll call you before and after the match.”
“Okay… You know, Asahi, I’m glad we’ve met each other. You’re not like any guy I’ve ever met.”
“That’s a good thing, right?”
(Y/N) laughed but nodded. “Yes. I’m glad we've become friends. I would have hated for you to be someone I used to know.”
“Me too… So I guess, this is goodbye?” Asahi couldn’t hide the sadness in his voice. His eyes landed where their hands were still connected. 
“Mmm, it’s more like see you later. We’ll see each other again.”
It was a silent promise under the endless night sky where the moon and stars were the only witnesses to see how enchanted Karasuno’s ace and Inarizaki’s manager were with each other. 
~ Meanwhile inside Inarizaki’s hotel room~
“Say Aran-kun.”
“What’s up, Osamu?”
“I wasn’t going to ask but (Y/N) brought it to my attention so I’m curious. What did you tell Azumane when you shook hands?”
“Oh that?” Inarizaki’s ace smiled to himself as he recalled that specific moment. “I just gave him friendly advice.”
“Which was?”
“Please don’t hurt my friend.”
~
Next: Chapter 5
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tessa-liam · 3 months ago
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Life Goes On
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Marabelle Series
Chapter 15 – Part 2
Choices – The Royal Romance, AU – (cross-over with Rules of Engagement)
Series Premise – An American teenager from New York City is introduced to the world of a small European country and its society of royalty, nobility, and commoners. How will her life story be transformed? Will this new adventure bring her happiness...or regret?
Marabelle Series Masterlist, My Complete Masterlist
Main Pairing – Crown Prince Liam Rys x F!OC Lady Sophia (Sophie) Taylor
Other Pairings – Maxwell Beaumont x M!OC Daniel (from NYC), Drake Walker x F!OC Melanie Smithson
Most characters belong to Choices/Pixelberry Studios
Series Rating – M*🔞Warnings: this series will have NSFW material, drinking, crude language & innuendo, gun violence
Many thanks to @selina012 for pre-reading.
Category – Alternate universe/on-going series/angst/fluff/cross-over with Choices Rules of Engagement
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Chapter Summary – Liam returns home to Cordonia to find Sophie and to address his nation about the university terror attack.
Music & Title Inspiration: Life Goes On, Ed Sheeran, Luke Combs; Run To You, Lucy Thomas
A/N1: Bethany Beaumont, Maxwell’s mother, is originally from the U.S. and is Barthelemy Beaumont’s second wife. Annabelle Beaumont (deceased) is Bertrand’s mother.
A/N2: ‘Social Season’ in this AU series refers to a traditional period in the spring/summer for royalty and members of the court to take part in Balls, dinner parties and charity events.
A/N3: Heartfelt thanks to @Selina012 for joining me in writing ideas and with dialogue/content for this chapter and series.
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Aboard the Royal jet, Rashad peered outside the window and took in the white sands of Cordonia's shores passing by. Suddenly his ears popped, and the pilot spoke over the intercom, announcing the estimated arrival time was in 5 minutes. He felt nervous and helpless and could not help but repeat his fears in his mind: ‘There hasn't been any good news’.
Drake watched Liam walk away from his seat, his hand curled around a glass tumbler filled with an expensive scotch. He wondered if they would hear news before they landed. Remembering his best friend's emotional spiral downward after the past assassination attempt three years ago at the palace; this had the makings of that same pattern. This time though, Drake was not going to leave Liam alone.
The dire problem of not having any clues where Sophie was at the moment was suffocating.
As they waited to land, the minutes seemed to draw out. There was not much he or any of Liam's guards could do but wait and prepare to offer the crown prince their full support.
Liam finished off his scotch, the fiery liquid barely registering, and tried to review the notes for his upcoming address to his nation in his head while stepping into his private suite onboard.
There had still been no update on his beloved Sophie's whereabouts or circumstances.
He took a deep, long breath and turned to Bastien walking next to him with unmistakable determination. "Bastien, contact the security team back home immediately. I need all the current details on the scene and an update on the rescue operations."
Bastien sprang into action, calling the security team leader and putting him on speakerphone so that Liam could hear the conversation in real time. Captain Sean Wilson answered the call.
"Captain, this is Crown Prince Liam Rys, requesting an update on the incident at the University of Cordonia." Liam's voice came through the phone speaker, clear and strong.
"Your Highness, the situation at the scene is complicated and we have deployed additional rescue teams to help facilitate the speedy rescue and recovery process.”
The captain’s voice was tired but remained professional. "We have confirmation that multiple students have been injured in the shooting. We have increased security three-fold around the campus and are working diligently to track down the suspects."
Liam's fists clenched involuntarily, but he remained stoic as he continued. "I need a complete list of all the known casualties. I want to know about each and every one."
"Your Highness, we have established a comprehensive emergency response mechanism. At present, we are compiling the information and rescue teams are working at full ability. The list of casualties is being urgently collated, and I will send it to you via encrypted channels as soon as it is completed."
Liam nodded, and though he could not be seen, there was an unmistakable insistence in his tone: "I need this completed as soon as possible. In addition, please continue to strengthen the search and rescue efforts to ensure the safety of all students. At the same time, increase the manpower to hunt down the suspects and I demand that they be brought to justice in the shortest possible time."
Shortly after hanging up, the sound of an encrypted email rang on Liam's tablet, which he quickly clicked on; and displayed a list of known casualties on the screen as asked. There were fourteen people in the column of the dead, and dozens of names in the column of the injured. Liam took a deep breath and began to go through the list of names, one by one, each name like a sharp blade, stabbing at his heart. He searched carefully, afraid to miss any possible detail. But until the end, he did not find Sophie's name.
Liam clenched his fists, his eyes shining with unshakeable determination. "Bastien, as soon as the jet lands, we will go to the scene and assess the situation personally.”
Bastien, at once responded: "Yes, Your Highness. I will ensure that everything is in place."
Liam turned his head to stare out the window at the clouds; his heart was in turmoil. Although Sophie's name did not appear on the list of casualties, his fears did not diminish. He knew that the lack of news did not mean that Sophie was necessarily safe. That she might still be struggling, or that for some reason she might not be able to communicate with the outside world. He had to ensure that Sophie was safe personally.
Thinking of this, he took out his phone and touched Sophie’s number with trembling fingers. But all he heard on the other end of the line was a cold, robotic voice: 'Sorry, the number you are trying to reach is unavailable.'
Sending a text, he carefully tapped every letter, as he expressed his worries and thoughts.
'Love, please call me as soon as you get this message. I'm worried about you.'
___
'Where are you? Are you safe? Why can't I reach you?'
___
'I'm already on my way back to Cordonia. Please wait for me. Please.'
As the minutes ticked by, the 'unread' message on the screen was an ironic and cruel reminder of the futility of all his efforts.
Frustrated, he then tried to call Sophie's aunt and then sent a text message to Maxwell. 'Max, are you okay? Where are you? Have you heard from Sophie?'
Shortly after, his phone vibrated and Liam checked the text immediately .... only to see Maxwell reply,
"Liam, me and Daniel are at the Malic Hotel now, we're all right. But Sophie got separated in the confusion!!!!😢 I have been trying to reach her without success. I'm really worried about her.'
Receiving this update, Liam, although still anxious, was also relieved that Maxwell felt safe. He immediately replied: "Max, good to hear you're okay. Please keep in touch, I'll be back as soon as I can, and we'll find Sophie together."
Liam then picked up his phone again and sent a text message to Sophie's Aunt Bethany:
'Duchess Bethany, this is Liam. How are you? Have you heard from Sophie? I am very concerned for her safety.'
A few minutes later, Bethany replied to his message: 'Your Highness, I'm fine, but Sophie hasn't been heard from since the ceremony. I am also anxiously awaiting her contact. Please try to not worry, I'm sure she will be all right'
Liam's heart sank to rock bottom as he closed his eyes, silently praying that she would be found safe and unharmed. At the same time, he also felt a deep sorrow for all the innocent victims of the attack. He understood as crown prince, he had the responsibility and obligation, along with his father, to ensure the security of the country and its people. This attack was an acute test of his leadership.
University of Cordonia, Capital
As Sophie wandered aimlessly through the maze of people, her eyes welled up. The adrenaline of an earlier escape from the auditorium faded and she felt more sadness, fear and heartache than she had ever felt before. For a moment, she could not control her emotions and tears ran down her cheeks. How she wished it all had been a bad dream, that she would wake up and find that it had all been a false alarm.
An hour later, Sophie and other surviving students and guests were evacuated in an orderly manner to a hotel outside of the campus, the Malic Hotel. The hotel was temporarily requisitioned as an emergency shelter and was surrounded by police and security personnel to ensure internal safety and order. But even so, there was an indescribable tension and unease still in the air.
Sophie had been assigned to room 302. The moment she stepped into her hotel room; Sophie could finally catch her breath. She sat wearily on the edge of the bed, looking out of the window with empty eyes, but her mood could not be calmed. She was eager to know more about what happened at the graduation, especially the mysterious men in black masks, their identity, purpose and why they were there; all of these became lingering questions in her mind.
She instinctively wanted to turn on her phone, hoping to find some clue or news report that would at least give her a sense of what had happened. But reality threw icy water at her - her phone screen was broken and riddled with cracks. She quickly pressed the power button, but the screen only flickered a few times, and then no longer responded. Sophie's eyes flashed with despair, as her contact with the outside world was completely cut off.
Thoughts came like a flood. She missed her Aunt Bethany, who supported her no matter what she was going through, who gave her endless warmth and encouragement, and who always made her feel at home in Cordonia. At the same time, she missed her horse, Marabelle. Every time she mounted Marabelle's back and galloped across the wide fields of Ramsford, all her troubles seemed to go away with the wind. Marabelle's eyes were always full of trust and loyalty, and there was a tacit understanding between them without words. How she wished now that she could feel the freedom and joy of running with Marabelle again.
But most of all, she missed Liam. In this unknown and dangerous moment, how she wished he could be with her, give her support and comfort. Liam, the man she was in love with, who gave her strength. She had never been so impatient to see him, to feel safe in his arms.
Now, however, she could only face all this alone; tears in her eyes had slipped down once again. In addition to missing Liam, Sophie's mind was filled with anxiety about the attack. She did not know how many people had been injured or even killed in the attack; whether Candy and Tom would get better, or what was going on with Maxwell and Daniel. They were her friends and family, and their safety stuck with her. She prayed silently that they would be safe.
Amidst this anxiety, there was so many questions. Who were those men in black at the graduation? Why would they target innocent students? What is the purpose behind this attack?
What puzzled her even more was the emblem of the earth and the baby. What does it mean? What has it got to do with the attack?
Her mind was full of confusion and uneasiness, questions swirled with no answers in sight, leaving her breathless. She tried to piece together every detail of the night in her mind, hoping to remember a clue or an answer. But the images were fragmented, leaving her unable to grasp and put together any useful information.
"Liam ..." Sophia muttered under her breath. She recalled what Liam had said about what he had experienced as a young prince and the memories of an assassination attempt that had fear cutting through his heart like a sharp blade.
Exhaustion came flooding in, overwhelming all her thoughts and feelings. Sophie lay in bed, breathing smoothly and deeply, and her body relaxed, as if all her worries and pain had been temporarily released at that moment. She drifted off to sleep with all her doubts, uneasiness, sadness, and longing for Liam.
The Royal Palace, Cordonia
The press was relentless. Inside the throne room, King Constantine stood stoically, as members of the press core demanded answers about the campus attack. Constantine cleared his throat and addressed the press directly and with the assurance of his years of reign and released a statement:
“At this dark hour, I stand before you with profound grief and pain in my heart. Like many of you, I am mourning the lives lost today, and we pray for the wounded to make a full recovery.
While we grieve the senseless violence that struck our country, we are also furious with the loss and sorrow brought on by those responsible for this evil act. We cannot and will not tolerate the murder and harming of innocent lives simply because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Those who commit such unspeakable acts will be held accountable and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the crown.”
Stepping down from the dais, Constantine was at once escorted by his royal guard out of the throne room. He looked visibly shaken and gripped his cane, trying to stand straight and upright.
Constantine's face was pale, and his eyes were filled with deep sorrow, his elderly face looked worn. But he refused to shed tears, still maintaining his dignified manner, while in public.
Lawrence, his personal guard, moved quickly to his side, “Your Majesty, the Royal jet has just landed with your son.”
Malic Motor Hotel, temporary safe house, University of Cordonia
The second group of surviving students were transported to the Malic hotel in orderly batches by the police in the pre-dawn night. The bright lights in the lobby could not hide the tension and in these in the air. Police officers, security personnel and medical staff were busy shuttling through the hallways to ensure that every student was properly accommodated.
The noise of footsteps and a murmur of conversation broke the sounds of the night. Sophie woke up, opened her eyes slightly, and through a gap in the half-closed curtains. She saw several figures hurrying along the corridor, as if new survivors had been brought in. She got up and dressed. Soon the door was gently opened, and a figure slowly entered the room. It was a girl about Sophie's age, a little wobbly in her step, visibly shaken by the night's horror and still reeling from the shock.
"Hey, um ... excuse me. I was assigned to this room. Is it okay if I come in?" The girl's voice was small and trembling, and her eyes were slightly timid.
Sophie at once stood up and smiled back, "Hello, come on in." The girl came closer, and Sophie could see her face. She had an East Asian face, long deep brown hair, and large black eyes full of fear and confusion, as if she had just woken up from a nightmare.
The girl said softly, "thank you, my name is Hana. What happened tonight was terrible ..."
Sophie took Hana's hand and sat her down on the edge of the bed. "Hi Hana, my name is Sophie. I know we have been through the same horror. But it is all right now. We can talk together and maybe it will make you feel better." Sophie tried to sound calm and friendly, hoping to bring some comfort to the girl.
Hana gave Sophie a grateful look, and took a deep breath. She began with great determination to recount her own experience at the graduation.
"I was with friends and all of a sudden the lights went out and they were gunshots ... I tried to run away, but there were screams and chaos all around me. I really don't know how I got out. I was taken to the stadium with some people and stayed there almost overnight until we were brought here. But I never saw my friends again. I got separated from them, I do not know what became of them..." Hana wiped tears from her eyes.
Sophie listened quietly, with a surge of sympathy and understanding. She thought of her friends Candy and Tom, and her cousin Maxwell and Daniel, and a pang of worry filled her heart.
"Hana, I've had my own friends injured and go missing too. Candy's arm was hit by shrapnel, Tom was shot in the shoulder, and they are both in the hospital; and Maxwell and Daniel got separated from me when they escaped. I am really worried about them. But I'm sure they will be all right. Your friends must have gotten out safely, too. You must believe that."
Hana's eyes flashed with emotion and trust as she listened to Sophie's words. "Sophie, you are such a strong person. If only I could be as brave as you."
Sophie patted Hana's arm gently and smiled wryly.
"Hana, it's normal to be afraid in this situation. In fact, I am also afraid, and all the people who have been through this attack."
Then Sophie's tone became a little heavier, and she decided to tell Hana what she had seen. With that, Sophie picked up the paper and pen on the table in the room and drew the sign from memory. Hana's face turned pale when she saw Sophie's drawing; her eyes widened, and she repeated in disbelief, "you saw this sign?"
Sophie nodded, her words unmistakable, "Yes, I'm sure. It was a very strange sign. I saw it clearly. They acted quickly and in an orderly manner. They were not ordinary thugs."
Hana held Sophie's hand tightly, her voice shaking slightly. "This sign, I have seen on the news, but with what specific event, I can't remember. However, it is definitely unusual and must be the hallmark of an organisation or group."
Sophie's eyes sharpened, and she frowned in thought. "This is no coincidence. The men in black were clearly prepared, and their attack may well have been targeted. We must tell the police about this as soon as possible.”
Hana shuddered, her voice filled with fear and worry. "But... will that put us in danger? If they are really that powerful, will they retaliate?"
Sophie's heartrate quickened. Of course she was afraid. The scene of Candy and Tom being shot and wounded replayed again before her eyes. The blood staining their shirts, the pain and helplessness weaving in their desperate eyes. These were images that she could never forget.
Then, in her mind, the panic of people running away, their faces showing fear and helplessness. Screams, cries, and pleas for help made up the most tragic symphony of the night. Fires were burning, the smoke was billowing, and the whole evening was enveloped in despair and confusion.
But thinking of the students who had been victimized, of Maxwell and Daniel who were still missing, and of Candy and Tom who were still in the hospital ... Sophie took a deep breath and quieted her heart. She could not let her fear consume her. She knew that her friends needed her. ... 'If you do not step up, Sophie, this kind of tragedy will happen again.'
Sophie stiffened her resolve, her voice was soft, yet powerful: "No, Hana, we cannot stay quiet. Candy, Tom, and your friends are just some of the many people who were hurt tonight. If we stay silent because we are afraid, more people will be hurt in the future. We can't let this continue to happen."
Hana's fear was replaced by a kind of courage as she listened to Sophie's words. "You're right, Sophie. I won't back down," She nodded firmly.
"Sophie, I'm so happy to meet you." Hana looked sheepishly at Sophie, blushing.
"If it wasn't for you, I don't know what I would have done."
She touched Hana's arm and smiled, "I know you have determination, too, Hana." Sophie was genuinely happy ... happy to be friends with Hana.
Sophie hesitated for a moment, then whispered to Hana, "Hana,can you show me the news? My phone broke during the attack." She pulled out her cracked cell phone.
Hana nodded, and picked up her phone from the nightstand to open the news app. Together, they stared at the small screen, searching for news related to last night's university shooting.
On the screen, several shocking reports soon came into view. The mass shooting at the University of Cordonia had attracted widespread attention from the national and international community. The report detailed the chaos and bloodshed of the night, but also said that the police were fully investigating the incident and promised to bring the perpetrators to justice as soon as possible. As she read, she felt mixed feelings.
Sophie continued browsing. Suddenly, a marked headline hit her eyes and made her heart beat faster. --
"Crown Prince Liam Rys urgently ends his visit to Italy and returns home to respond to the shooting incident at Cordonia University."
She tapped eagerly; the live broadcast of the news began automatically.
On the screen, Liam stood in the doorway of the familiar white, shadowy auditorium, behind which the smoke had not fully cleared and live images of ambulances and police cars could be seen. Liam's figure stood unwavering behind press microphones.. He wore a black suit, his eyes were slightly solemn, but his face was more resolute and decided, that could not be ignored.
Sophie stared intently at the screen, every subtle expression of Liam tugging at her heartstrings. His voice came clearly over the phone, calm and strong.
Sophie's eyes were red and brimmed with tears. Her heart was racing, as she felt Liam's deep emotion coming through the screen. And then Liam's words turned to unquestioning determination:
Sophie stared at the screen, her tears spilling onto her cheeks. The moment she heard him say the words, 'Our Cordonian family', her heart swelling with indescribable excitement and pride; she wanted to run to his side and face all of this with him. However, this emotion was quickly overcome by reason, knowing that she could not expose her relationship with Liam, especially when there were other people around watching. She gently turned down the volume on the phone for fear that Hana would notice her emotional reactions. She clutched the phone tightly, as if she could feel Liam's presence and power in her hand.
"Sophie, what's wrong?"
Hana's voice sounded softly, interrupting her thoughts. Sophie suddenly came back to herself with a disguised smile, trying to sound natural. "Oh, nothing, I just didn't expect Prince Liam to be back so soon, it's only been a few hours since the shooting."
There was a subtle tremor in Sophie's words, afraid that her mind would be read by Hana and cause unnecessary trouble for Liam. She knew that at this particular moment she had to be careful not to reveal her relationship with Liam.
"Hana, could I possibly use your phone again? I want to send a text to my family and tell them about my situation."
Hana heard her words, a flicker of concern in her eyes. She seemed aware of Sophie's inner struggle and longing, but out of respect and trust, she did not ask any more questions, just smiled and nodded, "Of course, Sophie." You can use it whenever you need."
Sophie gave Hana a grateful look, and a warm wave came through her heart. She quickly opened the text messages on the phone, her fingers jumping over the keyboard, as she sent two messages. The first one to Aunt Bethany and the second one to Maxwell. In the text messages, Sophie told them that she was doing well and that they should not worry. She expressed concern for Maxwell and Daniel and hoped they were safe.
After sending the two texts, Sophie took a deep breath and began her text to Liam. She edited the text carefully ...
"Hi, Li, this is Sophie.
I'm all right. I am in Room 302 at the Malic Hotel at the university.
There was a shooting at the graduation, and I was lucky to escape. My phone is broken, and now I'm texting you on my roommate, Hana's phone.
I know you must be terribly busy and worried at the moment, but please believe me, I am fine and safe.
Don't worry about me. Just focus on what's needed right in front of you. I love you and look forward to seeing you soon."
The message didn't mention Liam's real name, and Sophie was confident that he would get her message. After pressing the send button, the words "Delivered" appeared on the screen. Suppressing her feelings, she quickly removed the text message, making sure it left no trace.
It didn’t take long for Sophie to hear back from Maxwell and Aunt Bethany.
Maxwell:
“Sophie, it’s so good to hear from you! Daniel and I are at the Malic Hotel too, and we are doing fine. We were looking for you, too. Just relieved to hear you are okay. We’ll talk more when we meet up.”
Aunt Bethany:
“Dear Sophie, I’m so happy to hear from you! Thank God you are okay. We are all so worried about you, but now we can relax. Be safe and we will see each other soon.”
After receiving notifications of incoming messages, the corners of her mouth cannot help but raise in a happy smile, a big stone in her heart finally fell to the ground. Sophie held the phone and re-read their loving words, feeling the warmth and support from her family.
A ray of sunlight penetrated a gap in the curtain and gently spilled into the hotel room, shining on Sophie's face. She gently closed her eyes, quietly feeling the warmth of the sun, the soft light made her very at ease, like a pair of warm hands, smoothing her fear and anxiety away. She was relieved that Maxwell and Daniel had escaped safely and that she could tell Aunt Bethany about herself.
And Liam will know that she's safe. Sophie found a trace of comfort and strength in reaching out to him.
"Thank you, Hana." Sophie smiled and handed the phone back to her new friend.
Hana took the phone and put it away, quietly watching it all, with a warm glow in her eyes. She may not know the story between Sophie and Liam, but she could sense that there was a deep emotion and connection with him in Sophie's heart. In this time of uncertainty, they were supporting each other and facing life's challenges together.
Cordonia International Airport
The Royal motorcade was situated on the tarmac in wait to take Liam and his men to the university.
Liam strode quickly and confidently to his SUV after his security detail had provided Liam with a report of all the victims and fatalities. Sophie's name was not listed, and Liam's heart remained uncertain, until he saw her with his own eyes.
His duty of keeping alert and informed for his country allowed Liam to control his fears of the possibility of seeing his beloved injured or worse. He fought against every fiber of his being to not burst through the chaos, with full disregard, to search for Sophie among the evacuated students. Liam, surrounded by his royal guard, Drake and Rashad, he walked onto the university grounds.
Drake, on the other hand, was not worried about propriety and cared for none of it. He rushed in and did not pay attention to anything but finding Sophie and Maxwell. He broke past some of the law enforcement and was met by a swarm of flashing cameras and press microphones.
"Back away!" He snapped, having to put his forearm up, and not relent. The flashing bulbs, whirring of camera lenses and questions being thrown at him was enough to drive any sane person mad.
"Don't you have decency? What type of scoundrels and fiends are you?"
An officer who recognized Drake, yelled, "settle down, everyone, he's an American friend of the prince's, stand down and don't crowd him."
On the campus of the University of Cordonia, even after several hours had passed, the chaos in the auditorium had not abated by a minute. Several police cars and ambulances, flashing their warning lights, stood by the side of the road at the ready. Police officers and ambulance workers were busy moving around the scene, serious and focused, although physically and mentally exhausted, but still stuck to their posts, to deal with the incident.
A police cordon has been placed around the scene to seal off the auditorium from the outside world. Liam saw the chaos and destruction ... and the despair of his people.
Liam took a deep breath, adjusted his emotions, and walked resolutely into the crowd and up onto the raised dais. The crowd grew quiet, and all eyes turned to the crown prince.
" Last night, our university campus has experienced an unprecedented trauma. On behalf of the royal family of Cordonia, I extend my sincere comfort and deepest condolences to all those who have been hurt and who have been affected by this tragedy. Your pain is the pain of all Cordonia. We will do everything possible to provide the necessary support and needed assistance to make sure everyone gets through this."
At this point, Liam's eyes flashed a subtle tenderness, that is his endless miss and love for Sophie.
But Liam took a deep breath and condensed his emotions and anger into a powerful determination.
"We will not sit idly by and let go of any of these terrorists. I promise that the Crown will use all resources in its power to track down the attackers and punish those responsible for this tragedy. We will bring justice to the victims, and to our people, to our Cordonian family."
***
The sky in the east gradually lightened as the night slowly faded; like the tide falling, as if in response to his words. A ray of dawn pierced the darkness, and the sun rose at last. The golden light slowly and gently spread over the campus, silently dispelling the darkness and cold; to bring a touch of warmth to the morning. There was renewed trust and hope in the eyes of the crowd. At this moment, they are silently praying, their hearts are full of deep hope: may such a tragedy never be repeated, so that the dead can rest in peace, and so that the living can find the strength to move forward; In the hope that the murderer will be punished, and there will be no hiding places of any crimes and evils.
As the Royal guard escorted Liam from the stage, Bastien approached with Liam’s mobile phone in hand.
“Sir, Lady Sophia has left you a message.”
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Thanks for reading ❣️
@choicesficwriterscreations
@selina012
📌tags in the comments, please let me know if you want to be added or removed.
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txttletale · 1 year ago
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"The Government of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela expresses its profound concern over the evolution of recent events in the Gaza Strip, while recognizing that the escalation is the result of the impossibility the Palestinian people face in finding a place within multilateral international law to assert their historical rights. The Venezuelan Government advocates for a swift solution to the urgent situation of hostility and confrontation and for an end to violence in all Palestinian territory through direct dialogue and the fulfillment of United Nations Security Council Resolution 2334, which requires Israel to put an "immediate and complete" end to all settlement and occupation activities on Palestinian land, as the only road to peace. The Government of the Bolivarian Republic reiterates that, today more than ever, it's necessary that there be a genuine negotiation between all parties and a re-establishment of Palestine's rights, for which it calls upon the United Nations to play their part in guaranteeing peace and international law."
[x] (translation mine)
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literary-illuminati · 10 months ago
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2024 Book Review #6 – Exordia by Seth Dickinson
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This is a book I have been looking forward to for quite literally years, from someone who is easily one of my favourite working authors. I also read the short story the book was expanded out from before I even knew it was going to be a book, and so went in spoiled on the broad strokes of what turned out to be the climax of the whole thing. All to say my opinion on this is unlikely to match that of the typical reader, I guess.
Anyway, Exordia is a glorious spectacular mess that has no right to cohere anywhere near as well as it does. It’s target audience is small, but I’m certainly somewhere in it. Please ignore all the marketing it’s so bad you have to wonder if someone at Tor just has it out for the author.
Exordia is a, well, a profoundly difficult book to give any sort of plot summary for. The first act involves Anna, a 30-something survivor of the Anfal Genocide now living a rather unimpressive life in New York City, until one day in the early 2010s she sees an alien eating the turtles in Central Park. Then there’s a cat-and-mouse hunt between terrifying alien snake-centaurs for the future of free will in the galaxy, and the plot jumping to kurdistan, and six more POV characters from as many different nations, and nuclear weapons, and oh so many people dying messily. The first act is an oddly domestic and endearing piece of table setting, the second is (to borrow the idiom of the book’s own marketing) Tom Clancy meets Jeff Vandermeer or Roadside Picnic, and the third is basically impossible to describe without a multipage synopsis, but mostly concerned with ethical dilemmas and moral injuries. It’s to the book’s credit that it never bats an eye at shifting focus and scale, but it does make coming to grips with it difficult.
This is, as they say, a thematically dense book, but it’s especially interested in the fallout of imperialism. The Obama-era ‘don’t do stupid shit’ precise and sterile form of it in particular – the book’s a period piece for a reason, after all. The ethics of complicity – of being offered the choice of murdering and betraying those around you or having an alien power with vastly superior destructive powers inflict an order of magnitude more misery to you, them, and everyone in the same general vicinity to punish you for the inconvenience – is one that gets a lot of wordcount. It is not an accident that the man most willing and able to collaborate with the overwhelming powerful alien empire in hopes of bargaining some future for humanity is the National Security Council ghoul who came out of organizing surveillance information for the drone wars. It’s also not a coincidence that the main (if only by a hair) protagonist is someone with a lot of bitter memories over how the US encouraged Iraq’s kurdish population to rebel in the ‘90s and then just washed their hands and let them be massacred (the book couldn’t actually ship with a historical primer on modern kurdish history, so it’s woven into the story in chunks with varying amount of grace. But it is in fact pretty thematically key here).
Speaking of complicity, the book’s other overriding preoccupation in (in the broadest sense) Trolley Problems. Is it better to directly kill a small number of people or, through your inaction, allow a larger number to die? Does it matter is the small number is your countrymen and the larger foreigners, or vice versa? What about humans and aliens? Does it matter whether the choice is submitting to subjugation or killing innocents as a means to resist it? What about letting people around you die to learn the fundamental truth of the cosmos? Does the calculus change when you learn that immortal souls (and hell) are real? This is the bone the story is really built around chewing on.
All that probably makes the text seem incredibly didactic, or at least like a philosophical dialogue disguised as a novel. Which really isn’t the case! The book definitely has opinions, but none of the characters are clear author-avatars, and all perspectives are given enough time and weight to come across as seriously considered and not just as cardboard cutouts to jeer at. Okay, with the exception of one of the two aliens who you get the very strong sense is hamming it up as a cartoon villain just for the of it (he spends much of the book speaking entirely in all caps). There definitely are a couple points where it feels like the books turning and lecturing directly at the reader, but they’re both few and fairly short.
The characters themselves are interesting. They’re all very flawed, but more than that they’re all very...embodied, I guess? Distracted with how hot someone is, concerned with what they ate that morning or the smell of something disgusting, still not over an ex from years ago. Several of them are also sincerely religious in a way that’s very true to life to actual people but you rarely see in books. The result is that basically comes as being far more like actual humans than I’m at all used to in most fiction (of course, a lot of those very human qualities get annoying or eye-roll inducing fairly quickly. But hey, that’s life). Though that’s all mostly the case at the start of the book – the fact that the main cast are slowly turning into caricatures of themselves as they’re exposed to the alien soul manipulation technology is actually a major plot point, which I’m like fifty/fifty on being commentary on what happens to the image and legacy of people as they’re caught up in grand narratives versus just being extended setup for a joke about male leads in technothrillers being fanfic shipbait.
Part of the characters seeming very human is that some (though by no means all) of the POVs are just incredibly funny, in that objectively fucked up and tasteless way that people get when coping with overwhelming shock or trauma. It’s specifically because the jokes are so in-your-face awful that they fit, I think? It manages to avoid the usual bathetic trap a lot of works mixing in humour with drama fall into, anyway.
Speaking of alien soul manipulation technology – okay, you know how above I said that the points where the book directly lectured the reader were few and far between. This is true for lectures about politics or morality. All the freed up space in this 530 page tome is instead used for technobabble about theoretical math. Also cellular biology, cryptography, entropics, the organization of the American security state, how black holes work, and a few dozen other things. This book was edited for accuracy by either a doctoral student from every physical science and an award winning mathematician, or else just by one spectacularly confident bullshitter with several hundred hours on wikipedia. Probably both, really. I did very much enjoy this book, but that is absolutely predicated on the fact that when I knew when to let my eyes glaze over and start skimming past the proper nouns.
The book has a fairly complete narrative arc in its own right, but the ending also screams out for a sequel, and quite a lot of the weight and meaning of the book’s climax does depend on followthrough and resolution in some future sequel. Problematically, the end of the book also includes a massive increase in scale, and any sequel would require a whole new setting and most of a new cast of characters, so I’m mildly worried how long it will be before we get it (if ever).
The book is also just very...I’m not sure flabby is the right word, but it is doing many many different things, and I found some of them far more interesting than others. I’m not sure whether Dickinson just isn’t great at extended action scenes or if I am just universally bored by drawn out Tom Clancy fantasies, but either way there were several dozen pages too many of them. The extended cultural digressions about the upbringing and backstories of each of the seven POVs were meanwhile very interesting! (Mostly, I got bored of the whole Erik-Clayton-Rosamaria love triangle Madonna complex thing about a tenth of the way into the book but it just kept going.) It did however leave the book very full of extended tangents and digressions, even beyond what the technobabble did. Anna herself, ostensibly the main protagonist, is both utterly thematically loadbearing but very often feels entirely vestigial to the actual, like, plot, brought along for the ride because she’s an alien terrorist’s favourite of our whole species of incest-monkeys. The end result is, if not necessarily unfocused, then at least incredibly messy, flitting back and forth across a dozen topics that on occasion mostly just seem unified by having caught the author’s interest as they wrote.
It’s interesting to compare the book to Anna Saves It All, the short story it was based on – quite a lot changed! But that’s beyond the scope of this already overlong review. So I guess I’ll just say make sure to read the book first, if you’re going to.
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mariacallous · 4 months ago
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Venezuela has been polarized almost since the election of Hugo Chávez in 1998, but last Sunday’s stolen presidential vote shows the rift has changed. Previously, it was between middle- and upper-class citizens who opposed Presidents Chávez and Nicolás Maduro and those leaders’ base, the poor. Now the rift is between a majority of citizens and Maduro’s discredited, autocratic government. Residents from the poor neighborhoods that ring Caracas are pouring into the capital to protest alongside the city’s better-off residents. To suppress them, Maduro and his government are unleashing their security apparatus, and as of Wednesday, government security and militia forces had arrested hundreds of protesters and killed more than a dozen people.
This is not a “civil war,” as Venezuelan Attorney General Tarek William Saab recently attempted to portray it—at least not in the traditional sense of citizens against fellow citizens. Instead, we are seeing the rising up of citizens against a government that, according to credible exit polls and opposition tallies of more than 80 percent of the ballots, stole an election from a popular presidential candidate, Edmundo González. There is no hard evidence to support the claim of the National Electoral Council (CNE)—packed with Maduro loyalists—that Maduro was reelected with 51 percent of the vote, to González’s 44 percent. And what’s certain is the division and turmoil revealed this week after the election are inimical to the social capital, stability, and predictability needed to rebuild the country’s battered economy.
Venezuelan citizens lined up for hours to cast their vote in Sunday’s presidential election. This demonstration of renewed faith in democracy followed decades of declining participation in voting, owing, in part, to the opposition’s abstentions. In preelection public opinion polls, more than 80 percent of registered voters said they wanted political change, and an almost equal number expressed an intent to vote. But Maduro never had any intention of allowing himself to be voted out of power.
Before and after, his government has displayed a refusal to adhere to standards of electoral transparency. Several months before the balloting, the CNE disinvited an election observation mission from the European Union. Days before the vote, Venezuelan authorities refused to allow ex-presidents from Argentina, Bolivia, Mexico, and Panama to fly to the country observe the elections. And after governments from Argentina, Chile, Costa Rica, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Panama, Peru, and Uruguay questioned the results, the Maduro government announced that it would shutter those countries’ embassies in Caracas. The willingness to break diplomatic practice has shocked the foreign-policy community, especially in Venezuela’s own neighborhood; solidarity and dialogue are firmly ingrained in the region’s diplomatic DNA.
Of course, fellow autocratic governments in China, Cuba, Iran, Nicaragua, and Russia immediately recognized Maduro’s win. For some of them, like China, the reasons are in part financial—Beijing wants to keep its access to Venezuela’s oil. For others, it is more out of solidarity in defying international scrutiny of human rights and elections. Meanwhile, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, the EU, and the United States among others are calling on the government to release the paper ballots. But if the CNE never turns over the paper trail or if the evidence is demonstrated to be falsified, what those governments will or even can do is unclear. (A majority of governments denounced Maduro’s last election in 2018 as fraudulent with little effect, but since the opposition had boycotted the contest, the claims carried less import.)
Protests are likely to grow in the coming weeks, and the likelihood of broad international isolation—what one pro-government investor said at a recent conference in London would be just “some turbulence”—now looks more like a crash. Investors who bought distressed bonds after Venezuela defaulted on its debt are watching bond prices drop after rising in the weeks before the election. Energy companies in the United States and Europe that benefited from the U.S. liberalization of sanctions are now facing a possible return of those sanctions, and as Britain, the EU, and the United States discuss how to best punish the government and individuals within it for failing to meet Venezuela’s commitments under the 2023 Barbados Agreement to hold free and fair elections, there will likely be more targeted personal sanctions, too.
None of this bodes well for Maduro’s ability to maintain even his limited base of popular support, which includes corrupt businesses, politicians, and security officers. Further repression will likely follow. While China and Russia have pledged their support for the Maduro government, neither has the capacity to keep Venezuela’s battered economy afloat.
Whatever happens to Maduro’s government, the chaos and the economic pain it will inflict likely spell the end of the United Socialist Party of Venezuela (PSUV) and the Bolivarian project that Chavez founded in 1998. There was a slim, perhaps unrealistic, hope among international diplomats and observers that more forward-thinking members of the government and party would consider their political future in a democratic Venezuela should a popular uproar follow a stolen election. That hope has vanished. For the majority of Venezuelans who supported González and had their hopes dashed, the PSUV will be associated with theft and cruelty, even more so than in the past. The legacy of Chavismo will be remembered for this.
The situation in Venezuela cries out for international mediation to restore order and defend the rights of Venezuelan citizens. The center-left governments of Colombia and Brazil could be well positioned to convene such a process.
But next steps are deeply unclear. Nor is it obvious after the Maduro government cut ties to neighboring governments that dared to question the results whether Brazil and Colombia would be able to maintain ties to the strategically thin-skinned PSUV regime should they criticize it.
The violence in recent days committed by state security forces and pro-government private militias—the colectivos—should preclude the government from staying in office, even if the opposition is declared victorious and is constitutionally sworn in on Jan. 10, 2025. Oddly, the Maduro government has called for a national dialogue. But an immediate change of government is necessary, if even a transitional government. That will first require understanding that instead of simple political polarization or even a civil war, a government has instead waged war on its own citizens and their popular will.
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