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whenmemorydies · 5 months ago

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@mitocamdria I was meant to reblog this with some thoughts but I think I accidentally reblogged it without adding them! Sorry!

Listen...we are on the same brain wavelength here. Whats triggered me to write this next meta about the Berzattos was the hair claw but also the fact that a memory of Natalie is what seems to peak Carmy's panic attack in 3x03!!! I have questions! I also have some assumptions (and am going to be waiting for s4 to see if I'm on the right track or am pulling all of this out of my ass lol).

Based on what Natalie is wearing and also how her hair at Marcus' mother's funeral appears to be done, I made the assumption that the image of Natalie that Carmy has during his panic attack in 3x03 (the same image Natalie is seen remembering in 3x05 Children), is a memory from Marcus' mother's funeral and not Mikey's. I could be wrong (as without any imagery of Natalie at Mikey's funeral, we can't say for sure either way) but that's the assumption I'm working on.

Anyway...I'm almost done the other meta...will be keen to hear your thoughts on it and go down that rabbit hole together! xx

The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card: Part 2 (Timing)

A couple weeks ago, I posted a prediction on the significance of the hair claw, the scrunchie and the prayer card that appear in Carmy's apartment in season 3. In that analysis, I suggested that these items represent three particular characters on the show and Carmy's relationships with them (FYI: the hair claw = Natalie, the scrunchie = Sydney and the prayer card = Richie). We see the scrunchie and the prayer card together at the end of 3x09 Apologies, placed in the same spot in Carmy's apartment. The first and last time we see the hair claw however, is in 3x01 Tomorrow, the first episode of the season.

In their reblog of The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card meta, @moodyeucalyptus queried why we didn't see the hair claw with the scrunchie and the prayer card at the end of 3x09. I had my suspicions about this, but it wasn't until recently that I think I've come to a clearer understanding about the separate presentations of these items in season 3 and what the timing of their appearances means, particularly for Carmy's relationship with Nat and with his birth family.

Natalie is haunting Carmy

Or rather, the Berzatto family is haunting Carmy. Let me explain.

We see the hair claw in Carmy's apartment in the first episode of season 3. I think its early appearance in the season is for two reasons:

The first is that the hair claw is a legerdemain, meant to look like a token of Claire's given its appearance in 3x01 in between scenes of Claire at home and at work. I think the purpose of this sleight of hand was to misdirect the viewer's attention to Carmy's love life from the outset and misleadingly establish it as the primary source of his mental anguish this season. As I've noted here, I don't think Claire is the main source of Carmy's anguish.

In fact, it seems pretty clear that Claire herself is a legerdemain: a stand in for Carmy's relationship with The Berzattos. This has been discussed in various places on Tumblr including in this fantastic post by @brokenwinebox contrasting shots of Donna/Donna with Carmy and Claire/Claire with Carmy, as well as in this *chefs kiss* comparison between shots of Claire and the Berzattos done by @currymanganese. I also had a theory where I posited that Claire is a reverse-engineered haunt, maintained by Carmy to keep his brother Mikey in his life, after the latter's death.

We also have this LA Times article in which The Bear's Andrew Wehde (cinematographer) and Joanna Calo (showrunner, executive producer, writer and director) say the following:

All of the above is to say that Claire and her relationship with Carmy seriously appear to be sleights of hand masking the truth of the main source of Carmy's anguish: his birth family.

Which brings us back to the hair claw, which, as I've said here, I believe belongs to Carmy's sister, Natalie Berzatto.

If we are working on the basis that the hair claw belongs to Carmy's sister and not Claire, lets get to the second reason that we see it in 3x01 and not with the scrunchie and prayer card in 3x09.

First, we need to note that Carmy's relationship with the owner of this hair claw - Natalie - is inextricably linked to his relationship with his birth family, the Berzattos. Natalie is his biological sister from that family and she's also the ONLY Berzatto family member that Carmy is seen having any contact with in the present after returning to Chicago to run The Beef in season 1.

Indeed, according to Jamie Lee Curtis, Carmy hasn't seen his mother Donna, the only other surviving member of his immediate family (that we've met on the show) since the events of 2x06 Fishes, approximately 5-6 years ago (given the events in season 3 appear to take place in 2023).

By the time we get to 3x01, Carmy's relationship with the Berzattos (including with Natalie) has had a lifetime of impact on him due, among other things, to an intergenerational history of abuse and trauma. Indeed, right before we see the hair claw in 3x01, we see Carmy staring down at the scar on his hand - a scar that @thoughtfulchaos773 has concluded Carmy got on the day he learned about his brother Mikey's suicide - another visual reminder of Carmy's family and the shadow it casts over his life.

Given the above, I believe the hair claw in the season premiere indicates to us that Carmy is entering season 3 with this familial history playing heavily on his mind. Season 3 also starts on the back of the walk-in fiasco in 2x10 which this reblog thread between myself, @bbythurs and @ambeauty discusses as a representation for Carmy of a broken promise to Sydney and the rest of The Bear crew. In that broken promise, we see an inadvertent repetition by Carmy of the behaviours in his birth family that he hates the most (recall his Al-Anon monologue in 2x03 Sundae where Carmy says his family would fuck up things that gave him amusement and enjoyment, but specifically that they would make promises they weren't able to keep). In this way, season 3 starts with Carmy doing everything he can to undo that broken promise, to undo repeating hurtful familial patterns.

In contrast to the above, Carmy's relationships with Sydney and Richie, while not great at the start of season 3, have not yet reached a boiling point and perhaps are not as front of mind for Carmy. By the time we see the scrunchie and the prayer card at the end of 3x09 however, Syd and Richie's relationships with Carmy have massively deteriorated and are hanging on by a thread. They are definitely occupying his mind by then, explaining why the mementos associated with these two characters are revealed to us at that point in the show.

As always, these are my thoughts and an attempt to apply some logic to a season that, due to its lack of actual dialogue, relies on so much interpretation to muddle our way through. I'm not saying this as a total criticism, because my neurodivergent self loves analysing things like this, but I can see why this season put so many off lol. Its been 1.5 months since I did my first run through of this season and I'm still finding new things I missed during my first watch.

Tagging folks below who might be interested but as always, keen to hear from anyone that wants to chat about this stuff:

@currymanganese @vacationship @moodyeucalyptus @thoughtfulchaos773 @brokenwinebox @espumado @tvfantic87 @ambeauty @bbythurs @mitocamdria @turbulenthandholding @anxietycroissant @angelica4equity @devisrina @kdbleu

My next meta will get into just how The Berzatto family is haunting Carmy in season 3...when I finally get around to finishing it. I'm saying it out loud here to force myself to get it done lol. Stay tuned!

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #sydcarmy #carmen berzatto #natalie berzatto #sydney adamu #richie jerimovich #the bear meta #the magic trick

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missymurphy1985 · 4 years ago

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The Return

It's been 2 years since you were last in Dublin. 2 years since you up and left without warning, saying goodbye to your life there and restarting somewhere completely new. Sometimes, you have to go backwards in order to move forwards.

Requested by @noctvrnalmoth I hope you like it!

*Featuring Jim from the Delinquent Season*

Stepping off the train into the platform, you sighed. It all looked the same, and yet so different. Pulling the buggy open, you gently strapped your sleeping son in and made your way to the taxi rank, your suitcase trailing behind you. A kind lady helped you with your bags and waited with you for an available taxi.

"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders there, are you okay?" She sat next to you on the bench as your son murmured adorably in his sleep. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry..."

"No don't be sorry.. just been a long time since I came back here is all. Few loose ends to tie up." You glanced at your son's sleepy features as his eyes started to open. Beautiful, ocean blue eyes alongside his dark hair, growing more every day... The memories of that night flooding back before you took a large gulp of water from the bottle in your bag, forcing them back down. You'd done so well... 2 years and you'd built a new life in London. New friends, amazing new job allowing you to put that degree in marketing to good use - you were finally making a complete fresh start. But the secrets you had buried deep inside kept coming to the surface the more your son grew. He deserved to know his roots, who his father was, you knew that, but you couldn't do it.

Choking a tear back, you thanked the kind lady for helping you as a taxi pulled up and she helped you to get in.

Pulling up outside your cousin Natalie's townhouse in the city centre, she was waiting for you at the gate to help with Jackson and your bags. Grinning from ear to ear she pulled you in for a huge hug once you'd got inside and settled on her couch as Jackson sat in this new lady's lap tugging at her earrings.

"I can't believe I'm only just meeting him y/n.. he's the image of you!!" She kissed his cheek, bringing him up to look at him properly for the first time not over Skype.

"I never see it, I just see.... I just see him I guess..." You mind wandered to the man you actually saw, but you didn't let it slip.

"Those EYES!!! So blue and vibrant, just beautiful!" Natalie was swooning now, she'd never seen eyes that blue on a baby. Your eyes were brown, so he clearly inherited them from his father, although you had never revealed his identity - just a drunken one night stand and he wasn't involved. You weren't lying, technically...

After catching up properly, Natalie told you she'd planned a few people coming over to welcome you back that evening - nothing major, just a few friends from years ago that were keen to see you after so long away.

"Oh.. yes, that would be nice... Um, who's coming?"

"Well I think David and Amanda, possibly Caroline.. I think Liam is asking Jim too but I'm not sure if he's up for it - he's been through a tough time lately.." you caught a gasp in your throat at the sound of his name. Last you heard, through Natalie, he and Danielle were going through a rough patch. Cheating accusations on both sides, they'd agreed to a trial separation. "Apparently she isn't as broken hearted as once thought - already shacked up with someone new, fancy house on the coast, new Jag on the driveway, she's doing quite well for herself!" Your chin began to wobble, not unnoticed by Natalie, who placed Jackson in his bouncer on the floor and moved to place a hand on your shoulder.

"I'm fine Nat, honestly I'm good. It was a long time ago, things have changed. I'm not that silly little girl with a crush anymore..." Natalie looked into your eyes. Nothing ever got past her.

"Y/n.. when I said I'd never seen eyes that blue, I meant on a baby. Only one person I know has eyes like that, and I think you know too. Tell me the truth, please?" You were frozen, until tears escaped and you couldn't stop them. Jackson looked to see his mum crying and began crying too. Scooping him up, you held him close.

"It happened once... Just once Nat... And he doesn't know and he doesn't need to know, let's just leave it there, yeah?"

"What?? This is Jim's son? I was almost kidding y/n... How could you keep this from him for 2 years??" She was stood up now in complete shock. Jim wasn't just her friend, he was her husband's brother - this made things even more intense. The atmosphere could be cut with a knife.

"Please Nat... This wasn't easy okay? I was 21, I slept with a married man, and I got pregnant... Then mum died.. I had to go back to London to sort out the funeral and the will... I didn't want to be seen as the homewrecker that got herself knocked up..."

"And what about Jackson? Doesn't he deserve to know his father?"

"Of course... And he would.. when I was ready Nat. And I'm not ready..."

"Not ready for what?" Liam, Natalie's husband was stood in the doorway, as you heard the front door close. Now standing next to him was the man you were desperately trying to avoid... Jim stood behind him, eyes wide at the sight of you with a baby in your arms.

"Baby, we need to go pick up that delivery from the post office, remember the one we missed last week?" Natalie pulled a confused Liam out of the room, leaving his brother and you alone.

"Y/n... Hey.. um.. how are you?" You tried to smile in response but your heart was pounding in your chest, you could barely breathe.

"I.. yeah.. um, yeah I'm okay.." you glanced down at his hand.. the wedding ring was gone. "I'm sorry to hear about you and Olivia..."

"Probably for the best eh... We weren't exactly getting along, just stayed together for the kids I think. They're older now though, they're fine. Y/n.. where did you go? Why did you go?"

"My mum was ill... She'd had a stroke and they couldn't save her, I had to go... I just stayed.. and things happened.."

"You had a baby..." He looked at the little boy in your arms, feeling extremely nervous now. "He must be just over a year old, right?" You nodded.

"13 months.."

"And we... We had sex y/n.. the day before you left..." His own breath was faltering now as the dates in his mind started to catch up. Again, you nodded, tears rolling down your cheeks. The realisation of what was happening dawned on Jim. He started to back away, before shaking his head and storming out of the house, the door slamming behind him making you and your son jump.

Your sobs came out in full force now, Liam and Natalie coming back into the room. Liam took Jackson into the kitchen to find him something to eat as Natalie held you.

"It's okay y/n... Give him time yeah? Poor guys just had the shock of his life, he'll come round." Your heart was sinking.. you hadn't meant for any of this to happen, but here it was. The memory of that afternoon had never left you, you hadn't even been able to move on - your son, for starters, looked just like him, how could you find love with anyone with the constant reminder of the man you'd never have around you 24/7.

Flashback

"I'm so sorry Jim, I didn't know who else to call..." You climbed into his car, cheeks burning as he picked you up from outside the pharmacy. You'd been walking along the road when a pothole in the pavement took you by surprise and you'd tripped, your ankle turning funny - the pain was horrific, but no one seemed to be answering your phone calls when you rang around for someone to come pick you up. Reluctantly, you'd dialled Jim's number, your cousin's brother in law. He'd given you his number the previous week, after offering to help you move into your new apartment later that month.

"No problem, I was just dropping the kids at school so I was only round the corner." He helped you into the car and drove you back to his house. "I figured your place is in boxes, no chance of a first aid kit either, I'm guessing?"

"No," You laughed. "Thank you so much.." you grimaced as you turned your foot round, trying to ease the pain.

"Definitely not broken, just need to rest it. I'll put the kettle on." Jim led you into the kitchen and sat you down at the kitchen table, and grabbed an ice pack from the fridge. Lifting your leg onto the chair opposite, he placed the ice pack onto your ankle. "Feeling okay?" He asked, flicking the kettle on and preparing two mugs of coffee.

"Much better.. thank you." Definitely better.. the physical contact from him was driving you insane, you had to swallow the blushes in your cheeks, praying he hadn't noticed.

"I've only got instant coffee... Hope that's okay - Danielle won't let me buy a coffee machine." He rolled his eyes. His wife was one of the tightest women he'd ever met.

"It's fine, thank you.. and I honestly can't thank you enough for coming to get me.. I can't believe how clumsy I am!"

"Hey those pavements are a nightmare - I'm surprised no one's broken a leg yet! Don't you be moving now, I'll take you back home once that swelling has gone down."

"How did you know how to fix it all?"

"I have a son, y/n, who at one stage a few years ago thought he was an actual superhero and would fling himself off anything to check if he could fly.. you learn the difference between a broken ankle and a twisted one pretty quick!" He laughed, remembering the time his son climbed the tallest tree in the park, giving him a heart attack before throwing himself from the top - luckily Jim caught him before he hit the floor.

"I think it's better now, Jim, I can try and walk." You said, after chatting for a while in the large kitchen.

"Let me help you.." he held your hands and guided you upright, your chests now pressed together as you placed your foot gingerly on the floor, testing it's strength. Stumbling slightly, Jim caught you, your bodies now even closer together. You could feel his heart racing, could he feel yours? His hands wrapping around yours, holding you up, an arm snaking round your waist. You looked up and found him looking right back at you, your face inches from his. Before you had time to think, you kissed him, before quickly pulling back.

"Shit I'm sorry... Oh god.. no... I'm sorry..." He took your hand in his and pulled you back to him, pressing his lips back to yours. This time you didn't pull back, your mouth opening allowing his tongue to dance against yours. Lifting you up, he sat you on top of the counter, his hands roaming your body hungrily.

"I can't... I shouldn't..." He murmured against your neck, the vibrations driving you wild with need. "You're so fucking beautiful y/n..." He ground your hips against yours, you could feel his erection through his jeans as you reached down to cup it through them, kneading it slightly. He growled, pulling your hand up to his chest, his heart hammering underneath his shirt. "You feel that? Feel how fast that's going?" Silently you took his hand and placed against your chest.

"Feel mine...." You pushed his hand down lower.. over your breast... Down your stomach and under the waistband of your skirt. His fingers found your folds, and he gasped your name. "I'm wet... I'm so fucking wet..." Lifting your skirt up, he pulled your underwear down. You relieved him of his jeans and they fell to the floor, revealing no underwear, just his huge, hard cock already leaking.

"I see you are too..." You ran a finger along the slit, taking some of the precum and lifting it to your mouth. "You taste good..."

"You want this...?" He asked, lining himself up against you. You nodded, and he pushed in easily, you gasped his name and threw your head back as he filled you completely. Pulling on your hips, he rocked you against him as he moved his own hips back and forth, fucking you against the countertop. You legs wrapped round his waist as his thrusts came harder, deeper, faster.

"Fuck... Right there... Jim... Oh god...." He bit down on your exposed neck, hands pushing against your still covered breasts, he moaned.

"Feels so good y/n... You feel so good... That's it baby, I need to feel you... Cum for me..." You leaned back, and eyes locked with his you drew a hand down to circle your clit as he moved inside you.

"Gonna make myself cum on you... Gonna cum hard for you... Faster Jim..." He pounded into you now, your moans echoing through the kitchen as you came over him, his release following seconds later. Both of you leaned your heads together as your worlds came back into focus.

Present Day

"Hey."

"Hey.." you'd agreed to meet Jim for a coffee a few days later. He'd called you the evening before, slightly tipsy which made you chuckle. Liam and Natalie were watching Jackson while the two of you caught up.

"How's the hangover?" You smiled, he grimaced.

"Well I've definitely felt fresher.. it was a bit of a shock y/n..."

"Listen.. for what it's worth.. I'm sorry. I didn't know I was pregnant until I was nearly 20weeks. With the stress of losing mum and the funeral, I hadn't had a period for a while but I thought it was just the stress.. then my friend convinced me to take a test and the doctors confirming it.. it was too late to do anything about it.. then I heard you and Danielle were trying for another baby and I just couldn't do it Jim.. I couldn't destroy your life like that.." your hands were shaking. He leaned over and took your hands in his.

"I understand y/n.. I do. I spent most of this week thinking about it. I don't blame you for what you did.. but I do wish you'd told me."

"I'd done enough damage Jim, sleeping with a married man? On his kitchen counter where he makes his kids breakfast? Where his wife makes her coffee in the morning? I couldn't face you.. I couldn't face what I'd done.."

"You know where my wife was, that morning?" He leaned back, smiling a little. "At her office, bent over the desk while her boss fucked her from behind. She called my number by accident while it happened. I didn't answer, obviously, I was busy.. but my voicemail picked up the whole thing. I'd had my suspicions for a long time, but that confirmed it. We were never trying for another baby - that's just what she told people to distract them from the fact we were clearly falling apart at the seams. Couldn't exactly be mad at her after what I'd done with you though."

"Did you tell her?"

"Yes, but she didn't know it was you. Then you up and left.. I thought there was no need to tell her who it was. I guess now we kinda have to, right?"

"Jim, I don't expect anything from you, okay? I have an inheritance from my mum, I'm fine for money, there's no need to be involved if it'll cause you problems.."

"No. You've kept him from me for nearly 2 years y/n, don't do this again, please? I'm not asking you to move in, I'm not asking for a relationship, I just want to get to know our boy.. that's all.. please?" You saw it in his eyes. It was there, for all to see. Was it love?

"I'll call Nat.. ask her to bring him over, maybe we could go for a walk?" Jim smiled, nodding. You made the call, and an hour later you were walking to the local park, Jim pushing the stroller. He took Jackson out of the buggy and placed him inside a baby swing, pushing him gently while pulling silly faces making him giggle. Your heart swelled watching them.

"He's incredible.. those eyes.."

"Your eyes, Jim." He looked up at you and smiled listening to his son's giggle, before he started becoming grouchy again.

"He's teething... Come on little man, let's get you back shall we?" Jim lifted him from the swing and placed his little finger in Jackson's mouth. He responded by sucking his gums along it, finding relief. You smiled, watching Him soothe your son's whimpers of pain as his teeth came through.

Making your way inside Natalie's house, you were surprised to find it empty. A note on the kitchen counter read that they'd gone out for the afternoon, they wouldn't be home until the evening. You warmed a bottle of milk for Jackson as Jim gave him some Calpol. Taking the bottle from you, he fed his son, as you watched, heart pounding as you watched the man you were still in love with take such good care of your baby. Within 15 minutes, Jackson was fed and had been rocked to sleep in his father's arms, you took him and placed him upstairs in his cot to nap. You knew he'd be out for at least an hour after all that fresh air. Walking back into the lounge, you found Jim sat on the sofa waiting for you.

"Come here, y/n..." You sat next to him as he turned to face you, hand gently caressing your cheek. "What are we going to do now?"

"I'm heading back to London tomorrow Jim..." His eyes glistened slightly. He'd just found his son, and now he was going again. He'd just got you back in his life, and now you were disappearing again...

"What can I do to make you stay?" His question took you by surprise. Stay?

"Jim, I..."

"I haven't stopped thinking about you.. about what happened 2 years ago. How long I'd wanted you, how long I'd dreamt of you, how I still dream of you even now.. and we share a son y/n.. I can't let you go again, it'd break me.."

"I'm half your age Jim! I'm barely older than your eldest child, how can this possibly work?" He answered with a kiss. Leaning forward to take your mouth against his, without thinking you returned it, linking your fingers with his as he pulled you into his lap.

"It'll work because we'll make it work.. nothing else matters.. all of that other stuff is irrelevant.." he felt you grind your hips against his and his erection was burning against his jeans. He needed you, now.

"And Danielle?"

"Is fucking a man old enough to be her own father - opinion invalid. I don't care about her, I care about you.. please.." he was aware of how desperate he sounded but he didn't care. He had his hand under your t-shirt against your breast, no bra in the way this time. Lifting you up, he carried you upstairs to the guest room you were staying in, and laid you down softly on the bed underneath him.

"Birth control?" He looked at you, smiling.

"The coil - don't worry, I'm covered this time.." You smiled back as he lifted your t-shirt over your head and kissed you again. The reason for being at the pharmacy 2 years ago was to collect your prescription for the pill - you'd not taken it for a couple of days after running out suddenly. After Jackson was born, you switched to a more efficient form of birth control.

Pulling your skirt down and off, along with your underwear, he nestled his face between your thighs, now parted by his hands.

"I want you to watch me y/n... Watch me as I make you cum..." Your core burning, you raised yourself up on your elbows as he blew a hot breath against your wet folds, causing you to shiver under him. He parted your lips with his fingers, before licking from your pulsing hole up to your clit, finding a rhythm that made you cry out and shudder underneath his tongue. Smiling, groaning into you, you tried to keep your eyes on him as he licked and sucked your throbbing clit in his mouth.

"Jim.. don't stop.. oh god..." You hadn't had sex since that afternoon 2 year ago, no one being good enough to compete with the man currently buried between your legs. No pleasure you'd given yourself since was a patch on this, and you felt that burning feeling in your stomach starting to rise. "I'm close... Mm... Fuck I'm close..." Your words barely a whisper but he heard them, pushing harder with his tongue as a finger entered you, hooking upwards to find that spot inside, the one you didn't think actually existed, but there it was.. you bucked against his mouth, coming hard and fast - you felt your liquids gush over his chin, there was no stopping them... "Aha... Oh god Jim... Fuck... Stop, it's too much..." He smiled, blowing another warm breath over you before moving back to your mouth. You could taste yourself on his lips, turning you on even more.

Flipping him onto his back, you lifted his clothes off him and kissed down his chest. Your core needed a breather before you took him inside you. Licking the top of his now rock hard cock, you slowly sank your lips down, taking him fully inside your mouth. You'd never had a strong gag reflex, and you enjoyed the feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat.

"Holy fuck... Jesus y/n... That's it baby..." Up and down your head bobbed, swapping between hard and light sucks, your teeth gently scraping the underside of his cock and your fingers lightly playing with his balls underneath you. Every time you felt them tighten, you'd ease off, allowing him to catch his breath, before bringing him into your mouth again. After a few near explosions, he couldn't take anymore and lifted you off motioning for you to sit on him. "Ride me y/n..." You smiled, and sank your pussy onto him, allowing him to fill you. Slowly so as to adjust to his length, your hips moved, back and forth, up and down, finding the right rhythm for you both. He sat up, chests together and his hands under your thighs as he rotated his hips from underneath, driving his cock against that magical spot again.

"Yes... God that feels good... Jim..."

"I'm not gonna last long y/n..."

"That's okay.. we've got plenty of time to make up for this... Cum in me, give me all of you..." You felt his cock twitch inside you as he moved your hips faster. Leaning back, you rode him hard, the bed frame squeaking underneath as you both cried out, your climaxes arriving simultaneously. Coming back to rest your head against his, you clenched your core once more causing him to gasp as you drew yourself off him slowly. Lay down next to each other, he pulled you into his arms.

"Did you mean what you said?" He asked, kissing your head gently. "Plenty of time?"

"I meant it, Jim... I need to get back to London to sort a few things, put my flat up for sale.. my job... But yes. If you'll have us, we'll come back.." you looked into his eyes. He lifted your head to kiss you and you felt it. All the love you thought you'd never find, in the man you thought you'd never find it with.

Everything was going to be fine, you couldn't wait to start your life over again, this time for the last time.

@margoo0 @queenshelby @peakyscillian @cloudofdisney @ntmynouis @being-worthy

#delinquent season #jim delinquent season x y/n #cillian smut #cillian x fem!reader #cillian murphy #cillian x smut

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rosesnink · 5 years ago

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The Viscountess, Prologue

A/N: I have been writing this for a while, the idea in my head. I really like the idea of such a theme that is so common and yet so unseen and poorly explored I just KNOW I had to write about this. More info below.

Book: Desire and Decorum, single mom AU

Pairing: Ernest Sinclaire x Nicole Donovan (MC)

Summary: Nicole finds herself a young widow with a young daughter and must start over after her husband’s death. New school, new job, new life. It’s hard without her dear husband, but her little Anne is worth it.

The night Alaric Donovan died, everything fell apart for Nicole. She just hadn’t left behind her heraldy of the Countess of Edgewater, but also his precious 2 years-old daughter, Anne. She was just too young to lose her father. She remembers calling her father in a hot mess of tears as he took Anne in as she decided to bury him with his family, the one he gave up to marry the heiress, who was then 19. Rushed, yes, but they were so in love. Alaric was only 25, but he was a blessing. They held a whole 10 years of marriage. In 2011, when Nicole was just 20, she fell pregnant. Alaric couldn’t believe it! His beloved, delicate wife was pregnant and willing to do have them.

Three weeks after her 21st birthday, she gave birth to a healthy, beautiful girl called Anne after Anne Neville and Anne Boleyn. Yes, Alaric and Nicole met in their history major class. They could talk from English royalty to Greek mythology and the use of witchcraft in the medieval era and the Worldwide II and the reality of living in the Victorian Era. They were the soulmates of the Oxford University, they were invincible!

After Nicole finished her studies early, they got married and lived happily.

But happiness is short, and soon the crisis came to England and Alaric found more difficult to be there for his family and the work. Nicole had to find a job as a waitress in a bar and with her daughter’s disability, the autism, it was all an impossible challenge. Soon, Alaric had to forgive his abusive mother so he could use her influence to find the best school for disabled children. It wasn’t easy, because the grandmother loathed entirely the kid, but wanted to win Alaric at all costs and get rid of Nicole. They argued nonstop and their plans to have a second child went to hell, for they barely spoke when they finally got the chance.

Alaric’s mom got him a job at the university of Cambridge, which made them move there. Poor Anne was just 4 years and found another school. She loathed changes, and cried over a week before settling it reclutantly.

Soon, Nicole noticed how tense Alaric was around her and how passive he was with Nicole. He was still a good father, he still helped her with the homework, made her soup when she was sick and loved her, but something was clearly on his mind and wouldn’t tell Nicole. She asked, begged him to tell him what was with him, but he shrugged it off saying that they’d talk in the morning.

But that morning never came.

The 27th of July of 2014, the police came at Nicole’s door at 3 a.m, announcing that Alaric died in a car crash in the middle of the storm and the drunk driver was nowhere to be found. Nicole dropped on her knees, wailing and screaming, holding her chest, clutching it.

Three days later, the funeral was made and it was the worst day of her life

“This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t married this whore!”

“Need I to remind you that this ‘whore’ is the mother of your granddaughter? Don’t you have a little of humanity?!”

“That little, stupid brat is a big mistake that should’ve never existed. You should be the one in that coffin. The world is better off without you, Natalie”

She slapped the woman, hard as she broke in tears “My name… is Nicole Donovan, you bitch!”

She grabbed her daughter, bid her goodbyes to her husband in the coffin and left as no-one defended her.

The next few years, she applied again in the university, graduated and got a job as a librarian in a cozy library in London, decided to make a new path for herself, for the sake of little Anne. She spoke to her father so it’d be Anne who, when she were 16, she’d be the Viscountess and soon heiress of Edgewater instead of her. She just wanted a life with her daughter, bonding over anything and being a small, happy and healthy family, with no toxicity around.

She worked her way up to find a fitting school for Anne without her former family-in-law’s influence, and they all accepted her for old time’s sake and to honor Alaric’s memory. Working her path as Nicole and not just Alaric’s widow wasn’t easy, but she was strong and determinated young woman. She owed that to her little Anne, who was now a 9 years-old girl: smart, driven, curious and stubborn, just like Alaric.

She wrote a story bed, called The Grand, Bold Alaric, telling epic tales of a time traveler called Alaric where he met gorgeous women and lived many lives and wrote them down to that woman who he’d marry. She wrote more and more, because her little Anne liked it.

That morning, she got a call from an unknown number

“Yes?”

“Good morning, are we talking with Nicole Donovan?”

“Yes, that’s me. Who’s asking?”

“We’re the Marie Curie Academy for Disabled Children in London. We wanted to comment you that the school of your daughter sent us her whole story and we were so fascinated for her and her abilites that we want to give you an interview! We’re just in the middle of a neighborhood where schools are normal, like the presitigious Cornfield Secondary School. We believe we could do of your girl the best at what she can and make her a rightful path to this world and let the rest know that disabled people are actually able to be great! What do you say? Will you stop by and give us a chance?”

She took a deep breath as she looked to her daughter, who played in her tablet to some math game and said, determinated

“I will. When and where do we meet again?”

Footsteps were sounding in the big, fancy halls of the academy as Anne beamed of how fancy it was as Nicole sighed, hoping it’d impress them. She was wearing an elegant suit for kids with her fanciest shoes, while Nicole wore a white shirt with a blue navy blazer and some jeans.

“Nicole and Anne Donovan?” The woman called.

“Ready, kiddo?”

Anne nodded as she got in confidently and Nicole followed suit. They looked at the woman before them, in an elegant attire, her hair in an elegant bun and a white suit.

“Please take a seat. You want any drinks?”

“Water, please”

As the paperwork was settled down, the principal introduced herself

“My name is Principal Donna Bowman. Now, I’d like to ask you a few questions, Mrs. Donovan” Her gaze softened and smiled at Anne “Anne, why don’t dazzle Mr. Chambers with your drawing skills while you Mum and I talk?”

“It’d be an honor to see you draw, Anne” The man who was apparently Mr. Chambers beamed. Anne followed him to the door where a lot of stuff for kids was there

“Now, Mrs. Donovan, even if your daughter is an impressive, bright and clever girl, there are a few things that concern us about you”

“M-me? I thought this was about Anne”

“Yes, but there are a few things we’d love to clear up with you. Like, for example, the father’s presence in Anne’s life. Are you a recent divorcee?”

The memory of Alaric hit her in the chest as she took a deep breath and nodded negatively “No, ma’am. Alaric died when Anne was 2”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Mrs. Donovan”

“I- Thank you”

“Now, tell us about your place work. Even with a scholarship, it is for some people difficult to maintain”

“Well, I have a History degree and major and I work in a library a few miles away from here. I have an agreement with the boss to prepare Anne for school, drop her and collect her”

The woman nodded as she revised some papers before asking her

“Last question: Why do you think Anne is worth it? To be here, I mean”.

She took a deep breath “Anne might see as a silent, shy little girl, but she’s actually intelligent, driven, with potential and can adapt at any situation. She’s stubborn. She’s not a quitter. She is strong, resilient and adapts in many other situations quickly and better than any adults I have seen. She has a keen mind and even if she’s a woman of few words, it makes every word she says worthy. She is kind, with a very open mind for such a young age and loyal to the bone. She is peaceful, the voice of reason and the most supportive kid I ever witnessed. When I was struggling at work, her words kept me sane. That’s why she is worthy and with due respect, it’d be a big mistake not to accept her because of my money rank”.

The woman nodded as she scribbled in the notebook before breaking into a smile.

“I’ll be damned, Mrs. Donovan, I’m sold. Congratulations, your daughter is accepted. I will start the proceedings. Here, have the school number”.

In a minute, the kind man called Bart emerged with Anne giggling and observing a drawing, unusual thing of Anne. She grabbed her mother’s hand and pointed excitedly to her drawing. It was her dressed as Wonder Woman and Anne was Wonder Girl. Nicole smiled at her and bid her goodbyes. They both emerged from the school, beaming as they watched London’s sun setting, making a peaceful and unusual afternoon. It was surprising that it hadn’t started raining just yet. Anne was collecting different leaves and went to collect one and she observed. She was about to snap a photo when someone crashed into her, making her wobble and almost fall! A pair of strong arms grabbed her in the act as she grabbed the shoulder by instinct. She looked up to see who saved her from falling: a rather tall man, blue eyes and a slight beard, his expression stoic and his brown hair messy. He helped her steady as she cleared her throat “Look, I appreciate your saving, but you should watch where you’re going”.

“Apologies. I did not see you at all”.

“Mommy!” Anne called. She glared at the man before rushing towards her daughter.

“Anne! What is it?” She asked, worried.

“Are you okay? That rude broody man almost dropped you”.

She chuckled at her before kissing her head, comforting her “It’s nothing Mama cannot handle. Let’s go”.

When the classes started, Nicole looked at her daughter, proud of her as she braided her hair. She kissed her forehead and observed the herd of children running to the school and how peaceful and noiseless Anne’s future classmates were. She looked with curiosity to the school beside Anne’s and found that broody man again, waving goodbye to his daughter. She was older than Anne, maybe two or three years older, with long, black hair in a low ponytail and intense blue eyes like her father, a rather tall girl and a serious expression. Like father like daughter she guessed. She did heard that both schools collaborated together to show that disabled people and ‘regular people’ could get along and respect each other.

“Excuse me, miss?” She turned around to see a tall, black handsome man behind her, a shy smile on his face, scratching the back of his neck “I hope I am not bothering or being too forward, but I wanted to say that I like your style and you have a beautiful daughter”.

“Oh, thank you! You’re very kind and sweet…?”.

“Luke. Name’s Luke” He introduced himself.

She gave him a polite smile “I am Nicole Dono—Ahem, Foredale. Nicole Foredale” It’s been so long since she used her maiden name, that it felt weird, but last thing she wanted was some stranger knowing her as a widow. It was time to leave that habit behind. Alaric would have understood.

“My friends and I saw you here lonely and wondered if you wanna join us and have some beers together, get to know the schools and neighborhoods. Alas, our only female friend is sick of us, a bunch of men”.

“I can’t blame her. I actually have a day off, so… I’m in, I guess”.

He smiled relieved as he indicated her where they’d go, his hand close to her back in case she needed guidance. They ended in a cozy, warm bar. It had some fancy seats of multi people there and here, people chatting and charging their phones and a welcoming décor. Luke waved at some group and headed with Nicole to them.

“Guys, this is Nicole Foredale. Nicole, these people are Bart, Yusuf, Annabelle, Hamid and Ernest, even though he’s so silent and stoic that sometimes he looks like a furniture. Say hi, guys, and be nice to her! Not all days I can persuade a beautiful woman to join us!”.

The woman there stood with a beautiful, tan skin, black, curly hair and grey eyes. She smiled at her as she greeted her with two air kisses “Hm, I like this one, Luke. The shocking thing is that she acceded to come with you” The woman teased.

The other man, with Muslim features smiled at her widely as he greeted her with two air kisses too, a casual but extravagant look “A pleasure. It’s been long since we had the privilege of such a beauty to sit with us. No offense, though, dear Annabelle”.

The other men, Bart and Yusuf, a very adorable gay couple, greeted her with beaming smiles as they praised her too and she felt welcome. When she turned to greet the so called Ernest, she froze in her place. That was the man that almost made her fall!

“You… are the jerk that almost trampled me”.

“I’m sorry?” He looked a bit puzzled, but then his eyes lit with recognition “Oh… right. I didn’t notice you then”.

The whole desk looked at them, amused and shocked.

“Well” Bart commented, enjoying the scene “this lunch will be interesting”.

#playchoices fanfiction #desire and decorum #desire and decorum au #single mother au #ernest sinclaire #oc: nicole donovan #the viscountess

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godblooded · 3 years ago

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@ccmplicatedweb has to endure camille preaker.

natalie’s name is still buzzing from beneath my shirtsleeve, scrubbed off partway but still plain in lush blue ink. momma’s black dress feels unfamiliar but not joyous; i’m no child in the approved wardrobe lent by a doting mother; i’m just one grownup handed regulation funeral clothes and sent carelessly into the fray. there is an unmistakable urge i know too well to tease nat relentlessly in a way that is only half a lie about making me deal with momma on my own, but we both know that i’m barely tolerated. my home is more a boarding school for wayward crellin girls until they leave the coop one way or another; until they leave in a casket or an ambulance.

encroaching catholicism is something leftover from the wind gap settlers of old. where the southern baptists dot the region, festering in their own flavor of bigotry. wind gap prefers to keep all of its bigotry to itself. it’s a town defined by that revulsion, cut out in the shape of the country’s shame and left ugly but not gaping like a jigsaw puzzle with a permanently missing piece.

there’s a social decorum that’s impenetrable in places like wind gap, but in wind gap very particularly. when we arrive at the church the gaggle of mourners is an enormous dark mass. everyone has to be in black. anything else would be inappropriate. my mother hasn’t begun a spectacle but i’m sure at some point the inevitable is going to be a three act play, authored by tennessee williams.

i shuffle over to trickle in beside nat. it’s an old habit that sticks around with the tenacity of a bad one; i always flock to the central comfort. something aches in the back of my mouth, cradled in my molars. a statement, probably, about how her hair makes her dress indecent.

the sight of natalie keene’s little body is somewhere in here. by that i mean i never stop seeing it and that gaping maw, head lolled back like she could swallow her own body. all those missing teeth empty holes with lips and mouth pursed around them like a chinese dumpling pinched shut. i imagine her now, cared and uncared for, made up to look all the ways she would’ve detested in life.

“ hey. “

#opposite. natasha romanova. ccmplicatedweb.#ccmplicatedweb #v: camille preaker: bad memories inside ; DO NOT OPEN. (ccmplicatedweb)#threads. camille preaker.#starter. camille preaker.#[BOI BOI I WORKED ON THIS.]

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nightmareonfilmstreet · 6 years ago

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[Recap] HBO’s SHARP OBJECTS Episode Two: Dirt

Sunday night’s airing of Dirt, the second episode of HBO’s tantalizing new miniseries Sharp Objects showed viewers that not only is there a lot to be unearthed in Wind Gap, but that all of its inhabitants, including our heroine Camille, have some dark secrets buried deep within themselves.

Sharp Objects Recap: Episode 2

If you have not yet watched Episode 1, Vanish, or Episode 2, Dirt, I suggest you hightail it back to the previous page as this is obviously going to include spoilers!

While Vanish fulfilled its purpose by laying down the important groundwork answering our main who, what, and where of the series’ plot line, Dirt really sets in the why intrigue.

Dirt introduces us to new characters, obvious potential murder suspects, and ups the ante on existing characters’ troubling idiosyncrasies. Like any good mystery, the more subjects exposed to the audience with as little exposition as possible, forces us unto to slip into Camille’s abused skin and hunt for the murderer along with her. Although this episode seems to move a little slower than Vanish, we have to keep in mind that every scene, every flashback, every character interaction, and every flash of a seemingly random word serves a purpose to this story’s ending.

“Dirt introduces us to new characters, obvious potential murder suspects, and ups the ante on existing characters’ troubling idiosyncrasies.”

Now that you’re familiar with the peculiarity of words and what they mean to not only Camille, but to the message of the story, pay attention to each one as they’re carefully selected by Gillian Flynn herself as she shared in her latest interview with Vanity Fair. Flynn details the influence words have on Camille’s psyche, emotional levels, and her relationships with those around her. Like a slight poke to the hip, the words we see flash so suddenly in the strangest of places can have the most literal of meanings, but most are more than skin deep.

Communication between Camille and her father-figure editor Frank Curry strengthens. Him being her only toe dipped in her Chicago reality while her standing relationship with her mother is slowly beginning to unravel down the Wind Gap rabbit hole. With the second missing girl, Natalie Keene, now found dead and propped up like a doll missing all of her teeth due to some force and a good pair of sharp-edged pliers, Curry urges Camille to push her reporting forward, to get the details – a perfect line for a series’ second episode. Here is where our big red content train leaves the station. The foundation is poured, Natalie is found, and the moving parts are now in motion.

Unlike the novel, viewers are able to watch relationships among the secondary characters expand. Whether it be a pissing match between Chief Vickery and Detective Willis, a drunken Jackie O’Neill spewing useful nonsense to Camille, or the backhanded comments courtesy of Wind Gap’s less sensitive citizens like John Keene’s attention hungry girlfriend, Meredith.

A majority of Dirt focuses on the town’s adults and Camille, (much to her mother’s resistance) while attending Natalie’s funeral. Adora persists in fear of embarrassment due to her daughter’s proclivity toward reporting horrible, wicked things that unfortunately exist in the real world. The entire event is emotionally charging as we see Natalie’s mother gives a tearful memorial and her older brother John, so different from Natalie, torn apart over her death. Natalie is described as a “spitfire”, a “tomboy”, and a girl who loved to “explore”, having a lot to say when she believed in something. Sound familiar? It all resurrects harsh memories of Camille’s younger sister Marian’s untimely death and the neglect she received from her sterile mother once the ‘favorite’ passed away.

Following the service, the mourners gather at the Keene home for what could easily be mistaken for a neighborhood pot-luck. Here we meet Camille’s simple, shallow classmates like Katie Lacey, we get a deeper look into how much of an outcast Natalie truly was. We exploring her bedroom and belongings with Camille, and watch as community gossip begins the finger-pointing at who might have a possible motive to kill two young innocent girls. Natalie’s father, similarly to Ann’s has an alibi, yet comes off a little cold and defensive especially when Camille questions John’s whereabouts at the time of her disappearance.

Being the natural investigator she is, Camille turns her attention to Wind Gap’s youth for answers. She finds a compelling and eerie tale from a local boy, James Capisi, clearly born of a family of Have Nots in a town full of Haves. He is the last to see Natalie alive in the broad afternoon daylight in the park and when questioned by police he claims she was taken by a ‘woman in white’. Camille conjures up the image of a witchy woman in white silently beckoning the girl to follow her into the forest in a scene so out-of-place, it sent chills down my spine. We learn it is a bit of town folklore not to be taken seriously as James is a known storyteller spinning innocent lies to make up for his poor family life suffering at his mother’s debilitating illness. His penchant for pretend is written off quickly by a clueless, but desperate Vickery who is certain of only one thing – a man is responsible for the murders. While this situation rises and is quickly suffocated, Willis decides to test just how hard it would be to plug a tooth from a deceased pig’s head using domestic pliers.

“Camille conjures up the image of a witchy woman in white silently beckoning the girl to follow her into the forest..”

In Dirt, Camille’s struggle with self harm escalates as she toys with a sewing kit needle and temptation of the highest pressure. We can feel her internal battle being faced with bad memories, ‘friendly’ faces, and the emotional reminders of her own existence in Wind Gap. After coming to a semi you-show-me-yours-and-I’ll-show-you-mine understanding with Willis, she returns to her mother’s home to find an indifferent Alan, childlike Amma, and borderline neurotic Adora playing house, while building a replica one, in the sun room.

Amma, fashioned like an inappropriate American Girl doll throws a tantrum in the manner of a four-year old that Adora claims to be due to Ann and Natalie’s deaths. Camille and Adora begin to get into it, with Adora cradling and fawning over Amma like an infant while telling Camille she wished their relationship could be better, but it just is not. It’s a pretty harrowing scene bouncing dependability and emotional stability off of the women in the room like an out of control racquetball. Amma comments wearily that Camille “can be good”, she “wants to be good” while relishing in her mother’s attention. Camille, though concerned and alarmed by this behavior, turns her back to it by retreating to the solace of her sepia bedroom armed with a sewing needle against a smooth patch of skin below her navel.

No matter what she can mask from Curry or what Amma whimpers into Adora’s arms, things for Camille and Wind Gap are not good, they are far from it.

Analysis

Hopefully you’ve never had to experience a funeral or memorial for a well-known local who died a tragic death in a small town like Wind Gap. But if you have the nauseous musings of false modesty, distasteful gatherings, attention seeking strangers, and hushed judgments, they all may be rushing back to you upon viewing Dirt.

Thw second episode not only digs deep into Sharp Objects‘ characters, but it also sets the scene for a town that, for all intents and purposes, is a character within itself. The whodunnit mystery is more alive than ever and the list of suspects lengthens with each new scene. Who is to blame? The sad James Dean brother of Natalie? The eccentric drunk Jackie? One of the defensive, odd fathers? Alma and her rollerskating posse? The police chief in denial? The untrustworthy pariah, James Capisi? A supernatural ‘woman in white’? One of the Crellins? Have we even met the murderer yet? All is yet to be determined, but that would never keep the townsfolk from talking. Nothing ever does.

I want to save some insight into what living in a town that slightly resembles Wind Gap is like while being the ‘outcast’ myself. There is so much more to come from Sharp Objects that I can relate to and I’m sure so many viewers can as well. Of course, none of the social pressures I experience reach the intensity Flynn describes in Sharp Objects, but I do live in a small southern town and, from experience, it is easy to identify with Camille Preaker. Being a curvy, “edgy”, northern artsy lover of all things dark and spooky sometimes draws a fine line in the sand between me and the wholesome, fair, athletic, Christian girls and women I find myself surrounded by. Over time I have learned the ways of southern men and women, of judgments that can be passed by those less open-minded, and the hypocrisies many remain ignorant to all while ultimately loving and valuing myself.

When Camille tells Willis that when people in town say “Bless your heart” they really mean “F**k you” that is completely, albeit unspoken, truth. That common phrase can have a range of meanings from “poor thing” to “you are a legitimate moron and this is the only way I can say it to your face” and it comes in a variety of sympathetic tones and smiling expressions. Southern etiquette it sadly a psychosocial topic less explored.

Camille suffers that same atmosphere and in Dirt that juxtaposition and the creeping submergence Wind Gap possesses slowly comes to life. We are now fully aware that our leading lady is flawed and real just like me and you. Flynn and the show’s writers have created a modern world stuck in time where people, women especially, are expected to behave a certain way when others are looking. It maintains the ongoing theme that no matter how good we want to be, we’re always going to be a little bad no matter how many eyes are on us. Just because someone may be different or considered an outcast, like Camille, Ann and Natalie, the Capisi’s, and even John Keene, that does not make them any less valuable or important as an individual, a notion places like Wind Gap seem to keep buried. Camille makes mistakes, she relapses, she shuts off one minute and submits to her feelings the next and because of that we are just as vulnerable in this haunting ride through Wind Gap with her.

Why is all of this important?

At some point in most, if not all, of our lives we feel misplaced or different from everyone around us and the effects of that stigma can vary. If we look close at these nuanced characters it is easy to see who belongs, who doesn’t, and who pretends to be. Sharp Objects is just beginning to set up a very interesting, relevant angle within this seemingly typical story of murder in a small town here in episode two – however, we’re not going to delve into that topic just yet.

We are left with our anti-heroine still believing the biggest threat that lies in Wind Gap is a faceless serial child murderer. She can do her best to endure her family’s oddities and should be able to repress her past traumas before they become more than silent thoughts so long as she remains good.

Oh, bless her heart.

We’ll see if she can put that sewing kit to deliberate use before things unravel beyond control next Sunday with Sharp Object’s third episode, Fix – on HBO.

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ivoryxbones-blog · 6 years ago

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MUNDANE MOURNING | DRABBLE 001.

IT WAS A DAY OF MOURNING IN THE SMALL SKIRTS OF WIND GAP. NATALIE KEENE’S BLOODIED AND TEETHLESS CORPSE HAD BEEN FOUND PROPPED UP LIKE A DOLL OUTSIDE THE LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT. THE ENTIRE TOWN WAS GOING TO SHOW SUPPORT AT THE FUNERAL—EVEN HER HALF-SISTER WHO WAS AN INTRUDER LOOKING TO EXPLOIT THE TOWN THROUGH HER ARTICLE. “DID YOU KNOW NATALIE?” CAMILLE POSED QUIETLY AT THE END OF THE TABLE, EATING THE BREAKFAST THAT HAD BEEN PRECUT FOR HER. “ENOUGH TO BE SAD, WHICH IS WHY I SHOULD GO.” AMMA REPLIED BEFORE TAKING A IRRITATED BITE INTO THE BLUEBERRY SCONE. UNDER QUICK AND HARSH TONGUE OF HER MOTHER, ADORA, SHE WAS INSTRUCTED TO STAY HOME AND EAT ICE CREAM WITH GAYLA, THE MAID. THE TEENAGER REMAINED SILENT WITH FLUSHED CHEEKS WHILE WATCHING THE BLACK CLOTHING DISAPPEAR DOWN THE DRIVEWAY.

“IT’S NOT SAFE TO BE OUT,” AMMA MOCKED HER MOTHER WITH A LAUGH AND ROLL OF EYES INSIDE THE CONFINEMENT OF VIBRANT PINK WALLS. FINGERS QUICKLY REMOVING THE BRAID FROM HER ASHY BLONDE LOCKS OF HAIR WHILE HUES FIXATED ON HER FINAL LOOK IN THE MIRROR. LACED CROP TOP, FRAYED JEAN SHORTS WITH KNEE-HIGH SOCKS PAIRING NICELY AGAINST HER ROLLER SKATES. BEFORE EXITING THE HOUSE ON TOP OF THE HILL, FINGERS GENTLY ROAMED OVER THE SACRED REPLICA DOLL HOUSE OF HER OWN, QUIETLY TRYING TO DISCOVER WHAT WAS MISSING. IT WAS ALWAYS EASY TO SNEAK OUT WITH GAYLA— THE WOMAN DIDN’T PAY ATTENTION TO ANYTHING THAT DIDN’T FALL UNDER THE REALMS OF THE PHYSICAL STRUCTURE OF THE HOME. AND A “STRICTLY ENFORCED” CURFEW ON THE TOWN WAS NOT ABOUT TO STOP THE TEENAGER, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CHIEF SPENT MORE TIME VISITING HER MOTHER THAN PERFORMING HIS OWN DUTIES.

THE SMELL OF THE FARM NOT SOMETHING PREFERRED, HOWEVER, HER SENSE OF SMELL HAD BECOME INCREASINGLY IMMUNE OVER THE YEARS. IT WAS A LUCKY DAY FOR THE PIGS LIVING INSIDE THE TRAILERS— ANOTHER DAY TO LIVE BEFORE BEING SLAUGHTERED AND SERVED AS BREAKFAST. THE PROPERTY SAT AT THE OUTSKIRTS OF WIND GAP. JUST ALONG THE TREE LINE YOU COULD SEE THE TOWN A FEW MILES OUT. SHE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO LIVE ELSEWHERE SEEING THAT SHE HARDLY ALLOWED TO GO OUTSIDE AT TIMES. EVEN WITH MUSIC BLASTING FROM THE EARBUDS, SHE COULD STILL HEAR ADORA’S VOICE IN THE BACK OF HER MIND. “THERE IS A MONSTER OUT THERE KILLING LITTLE GIRLS.” PEOPLE DIED EVERY SINGLE DAY— IT WAS SIMPLY THE TOWN’S TIME TO EXPERIENCE IT. MAKING HER WAY DOWN THE ABANDONED PATH TO THE SHED THAT HAD BEEN DISCOVERED A FEW MONTHS BACK, AMMA TOOK IN THE SCENERY. IT WAS LIKE A SMALL PIECE OF HEAVEN— A SPACE THAT WAS NOT CONTROLLED AND FREE FROM OUTSIDERS. SHE CONTROLLED WHO SHE WANTED TO ENTER AND WHO LEFT.

SITTING DOWN AGAINST THE WOODEN FLOOR, AMMA PULLED OUT THE BOTTLE OF SPRITE FROM HER BACKPACK THAT WAS CONVENIENTLY MIXED WITH VODKA HER AND JODES HAS STOLEN FROM THE GAS STATION. JEALOUSY COURSED THROUGH HER BODY AT HER FRIENDS. THEIR PARENTS WERE TAKING THEM TO THE FUNERAL. BUNCH OF HYPOCRITES. THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A UNITED FRIENDSHIP. “WE WILL COME SEE YOU RIGHT AFTER, ALL THE ADULTS ARE GOING TO THE KEENE’S AFTER.” FINGERS QUICKLY EXITING OUT OF THE TEXT MESSAGE ON HER IPHONE AND DELICATELY PULLING OUT THE SMALL BAG THAT HAD BEEN HIDDEN BEHIND A PANEL IN THE WALL.

POURING THE BLOODIED CONTENTS OUT IN THE PALM OF HER HAND, A SMILE CREEPED OVER AMMA’S LIPS, FINDING THE NEXT INSTALLMENT TO HER DOLL HOUSE.

#( 009. i’m incorrigible too / drabbles )#tw: mentions of murder #tw: mentions of death #( 012. dreaming of the dead / main verse )

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theconservativebrief · 6 years ago

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Before it debuted, Sharp Objects was frequently compared to last summer’s Big Little Lies, due to both shows being splashy HBO miniseries with big-name casts. But Big Little Lies, among other things, told a story about its female characters’ struggle to prove their innocence in a town that knew better. And Sharp Objects’ third episode, “Fix,” is the inverse of that. It’s all about women who are fully capable of murder, and a town that doesn’t want to believe it.

“Women around here, they don’t kill with their hands,” Bob Nash (Will Chase) — the father of one of two girls that’ve been murdered in the small Southern town of Wind Gap, Missouri — tells Camille (Amy Adams), when she visits him. “They talk.”

In the aftermath of two ritualistic and grisly murders that happened less than a year apart, Wind Gap’s citizens don’t seem to be terribly concerned about their lives being in danger. The parental warnings being issued to the town’s children are weak (and several of the kids are sneaking out on a nightly basis), and life, for the most part, seems abnormally normal.

What Wind Gap’s residents are more concerned about is playing a game of whodunit and speculating why each of the victims was targeted. They seem more entranced by the spectacle of it all, and in some ways, Camille — who’s now finished with her initial story — does too. People’s interest in the murders is rooted more in morbid curiosity than in personal safety. Finding the killer is more about closing the loop on the story than it is justice.

Sharp Objects has focused heavily on this sentiment in its past two episodes by unpacking Wind Gap residents’ opinions on who the murderer might be — and heavily hinting that it won’t be anyone they expect, specifically because few folks in town seem to believe the killer could be a woman.

In “Fix,” getting away from how the town of Wind Gap thinks about and treats women is as impossible as Camille getting away from a bottle of vodka. It seems like every interaction between two characters contains at least a slip of a remark about the women of Wind Gap, or rather, how the women of Wind Gap are viewed and treated in the town.

Many residents of Wind Gap clearly believe that women are only good for one thing: gossiping.

“That boy from Kansas City talks like a woman from Wind Gap,” Sheriff Vickery (Matt Craven) tells Camille in reference to Detective Willis (Chris Messina), reinforcing what Nash told her.

This sentiment builds on what we’ve seen in previous episodes: Adora worrying about Camille sullying her reputation around town; Camille having to deal with her own Wind Gap legacy; and Wind Gap’s mean girls whispering away at Natalie’s funeral.

The implication seems to be that a woman from Wind Gap could never be capable of anything more than mindless talk, let alone murder. But we’re not really meant to trust this characterization.

The people spreading the “all women are gossips” generalization are all men who have been doing their fair share of talking too. The sheriff, for example, hasn’t been particularly successful at his job — keeping the town of Wind Gap safe — so his remark about how women in the town keep talking and how men like Willis should know better than to act like them feels more like frustration coming from an incompetent character than an objective observation.

It’s also obvious that the women of Wind Gap know how to take advantage of what others think and expect of them.

Take Camille’s sister, Amma (Eliza Scanlen), who shares a drunken chat with Camille in the first scene of “Fix.” She’s figured out how to alter her behavior in front of the girls’ mother, to her benefit. Amma knows how she’s expected to behave, and that she can wriggle out all kinds of freedoms as long as she maintains a certain image — that’s why we see her wearing different outfits and putting on a different demeanor when she’s at home. No one, including Adora, suspects her of being capable of more.

But as Amma reveals to Camille during their chat, she’s nowhere near as innocent as she seems.

“They do anything for me,” she says of her friends, flashing a sly hint that she might be capable of more nefarious things than she appears to be. “I just ask, and they’re my besties.”

Full disclosure: Although I’ve seen (and loved) the movie adaptation of Gone Girl, I’ve never read Gillian Flynn’s books. I don’t know how Sharp Objects ends. With that said, I fully believe the Wind Gap killer is a woman, by virtue of the fact that the show’s male characters are outright saying women aren’t capable of murder.

I keep coming back to what Nash said: “Women around here, they don’t kill with their hands.” Granted, a sullied reputation in such a small town can probably feel like a punishment worse than death. And we don’t know how much Nash is exaggerating or how much he fully believes his statement.

But in Sharp Objects’ first three episodes, we’ve seen various male characters get asked about their alibis, have their possible motives explained and explored, and have their pasts delved into. Meanwhile, no one has been asking where Amma or Adora was on the nights of the murders, even though Amma tells the Sheriff in “Fix” that she personally knew both of the dead girls. We also don’t know exactly why John Keene’s suspicious, clingy “Jackie O” girlfriend Ashley is suddenly in the picture, but no one except Camille seems to care.

These women all seem like potential suspects, but they’re being dismissed because the general thought in Wind Gap is that women are harmless. Yes, they talk, but they aren’t seen as “strong” enough (to pull the victims’ teeth with pliers) or heinous enough to commit violence of the type that killed the girls.

And “harmless” doesn’t just refer to the harm they might pose other people but also the harm they’re capable of inflicting on themselves, as we see in a flashback to Camille checking into a psych ward and befriending her cellmate Alice. Camille and Alice both engage in self-harm, but Camille seems to be the only person who can sense how troubled Alice is or notices the extent of her cutting. The scenes feel safe. Alice shares a playful relationship with the nurse. And that all comes crashing down in the final sequence when we find out how Alice died.

There’s something deeper beneath the surface of each one of Wind Gap’s women, something that possibly belies the person they’re presenting as in public. Writing off the town’s women as harmless gossips fails to recognize what kind of people, perhaps monsters, some of them might be. Which makes it no surprise that the sheriff hasn’t found the murderer yet — he’s underestimating half the population.

Original Source -> Sharp Objects shows that men can’t comprehend a dangerous woman in “Fix”

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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topinforma · 8 years ago

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New Post has been published on Mortgage News

New Post has been published on http://bit.ly/2qh3FMv

hogan-urged-to-reboot-state-center

Two years ago, after the smoke cleared from the arsonists’ fires in West Baltimore, John Kyle saw a special opportunity for the governor of Maryland to help the city — particularly, a part of the city long neglected — recover from the trauma of the Freddie Gray disturbances.

It was one thing for Larry Hogan to “save the city,” as the governor put it, by sending the Maryland National Guard to North Avenue. It would be quite another for Hogan to push for the larger things that could benefit Baltimore, a city he said he loves, for years to come.

As Kyle, a Bolton Hill resident, saw it, all Hogan had to do was support State Center, a 10-year, $1.5 billion redevelopment of the old and cruddy state office complex on the west side of central Baltimore, near North Eutaw Street and Martin Luther King Boulevard, just a short march from the sites of the vandalism and arson fires on the day of Gray’s funeral.

A developer had been chosen; the project already had been planned and designed, with lots of community input. State Center had survived a long delay caused by a ridiculous court challenge. The state and the developer had been through mediation over elements of the deal, with a retired federal judge presiding. Shovels, it seemed, would finally be ready.

So to Kyle, president of the State Center Neighborhood Alliance, this looked like a fastball down the middle of the plate, offering Hogan, a suburban Republican, a keen play against type. Hogan just had to swing. Kyle thought he would.

Natalie Sherman

When Janet Allen moved to Baltimore in 2003, she saw herself as part of a bigger mission: rebuilding blocks west of Martin Luther King Boulevard into a strong, mixed income community.

Newly developed Heritage Crossing, where she bought her house, looked like a slice of suburbia, with detached homes…

When Janet Allen moved to Baltimore in 2003, she saw herself as part of a bigger mission: rebuilding blocks west of Martin Luther King Boulevard into a strong, mixed income community.

Newly developed Heritage Crossing, where she bought her house, looked like a slice of suburbia, with detached homes…

(Natalie Sherman)

The 28-acre redevelopment would bring 24-7 life to a desolate 9-to-5 patch of the city far from the Baltimore waterfront. There would be new office buildings as well as retail and residential spaces, and thousands of temporary and permanent jobs. State Center was just the kind of inner-city, transit-oriented project urban visionaries hail. The plans included turning part of the 5th Regiment Armory into a grocery market.

Kyle figured the pro-business Hogan would support State Center. Not only would the large-scale project provide economic stimulus for the city; it would make Hogan look like an action hero compared to his Democratic predecessor, Martin O’Malley.

Michael Dresser

Baltimore lawmakers called on Gov. Larry Hogan on Friday to drop the state’s lawsuit against the developer of the $1.5 billion State Center project and come to the table to discuss how to get the midtown development plan back on track.

Members of the city House delegation were joined by state Sen….

(Michael Dresser)

“Governor Hogan could be a winner with this redevelopment, especially right after Freddie Gray died,” Kyle says. “And he could tout that he got the project going in one year, something that Gov. O’Malley couldn’t do in eight.”

Instead, Hogan backed out of the batter’s box. In December, the governor and the other two members of the state Board of Public Works canceled the deal with the project’s developer and went to court to affirm the state’s right to do so.

Kyle was shocked. He also adds these words to describe his reaction: “frustrated” and “disgusted.”

He takes pride in the social, economic and racial diversity of the alliance of nine neighborhoods that united to support State Center — Bolton Hill, Druid Heights, Heritage Crossing, Madison Park, Marble Hill, McCulloh Homes, Mount Vernon/Belvedere, Seton Hill and Upton.

“We forged an alliance of neighborhoods that has continued to hang together despite the passage of time and an ever-changing set of problems in getting the redevelopment underway,” he says. “To have [the project] just swatted away … I was shocked.”

At December’s meeting of the Board of Public Works, the state comptroller and state treasurer joined Hogan in voting to void the leases for office space that underpinned the state’s agreement with the developer. Hogan said of the plan: “It is obvious to absolutely everyone that the previous proposal makes absolutely no economic or development sense.”

But it has not been obvious to the developer, Caroline Moore, president of Ekistics LLC and CEO of State Center LLC. In several conversations since the board’s vote, Moore told me she has no idea what killed the project. “Mediation, unfortunately, shed no additional light,” she says. “No reason was given at any time as to why they rejected the original plan or every proposal [the state] subsequently asked us to present.” Hogan, she says, never spoke to her about the project.

Last month, a group of Baltimore legislators urged Hogan to drop the state’s lawsuit against Moore and get State Center back on track. (“That’s not going to happen,” the governor’s spokesman responded.) On Monday afternoon, at City Hall, there will be another such gathering and more urging of the governor to reverse his decision.

It occurs to me that Hogan has a great opportunity to respond personally, get out of the litigation and perhaps spare the state a costly settlement. Before he took office, the governor ran a successful company that, according to its website, “completed $2 billion in real estate transactions by bringing sellers and buyers together to create win-win scenarios.”

Given that, the governor should strive for a win-win with State Center instead of scrapping a decade of hard work — especially when it includes a chance to show how much he loves Baltimore.

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