#narcissstic personality disorder

[inkbirdie]

words to use that don’t demonize personality disorders!

It seems that it’s becoming more and more common for people to label others and others’ behavior as “narcissistic”, “psychopathic”, “sociopathic”, etc., especially on platforms like TikTok, where lingo spreads quickly. People associate negative qualities with these real disorders and use them to criticize or insult other neurotypicals. These words are used as a way to instantly show that someone is a “bad” or “evil” person. In reality, having a personality disorder does not make you a bad person at all! It is damaging to these communities to continue spreading this dangerous rhetoric. People with these conditions are already more likely to experience abuse and ostracization along with the mental health issues they may go through. 

So, this is my list of words or phrases that people often mean instead of naming a condition. You can use these instead of referring to a personality disorder like the ones above and more. Feel free to add your own words! (Note: I do not have any of these conditions. Please correct me if I say something incorrect or offensive!)

This is a pretty long post, so I’ve put everything below the cut.

Crazy/Insane: These words aren’t truly connected to any specific disorder, but are still used to hurt people with personality disorders. They are very ingrained into our vocabulary and can be hard to remove. I’m currently working on it myself!

What you mean: wild, ridiculous, unlikely, wack, strange, odd, absurd, silly, preposterous, ludicrous 

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): People often use phrases like “I’m/that’s so OCD” to indicate someone/thing that is clean or organized, sometimes to an extreme. 

What you mean: organized, clean/cleanliness, neat, hates mess, hates germs, healthy, coordinated, sanitized, tidy, orderly

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD): People usually are referring to this disorder when they say words like “sociopath(ic)”, “psychopath(ic)”, “psycho”, and “psychotic”. This is used to indicate general “badness” and can be used to describe someone who has committed violent actions.

What you mean: violent, oppressive, unfriendly, mean, rude, unsympathetic, unkind, cold, unlikeable, bully, brutal, ruthless, murderous, cruel, barbaric, savage, harsh, threatening

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): I’ve seen this one all over recently. People use “narcissist” to instantly paint someone as a “bad” person. They usually use this term when the person is manipulative and/or egotistical.

What you mean: manipulative, egotistical, self-obsessed, uncaring, callous, calculating, devious, has ulterior motives, controlling, selfish, vain, shallow, self-centered, conceited, full of themself

Schizoid Personality Disorder: This one is hard to characterize, as “schizophrenic” is used to describe many types of behaviors. It is generally used to refer to someone they think is “crazy”. 

What you mean: unpredictable, irrational, illogical, eccentric, senseless, raving, raging, distraught, wild, frenzied

The R Slur: This harmful term is falling out of favor as the autistic community continues to advocate against people using it. People who still use it are usually aware that it is not a good word to use. However, I thought I’d include it anyway.

What you mean: autistic (if the person in question is genuinely on the spectrum, autistic is a perfectly fine label to use), disabled (same note), off-putting, abnormal, atypical, unusual, not going along with societal norms, bad decision, disagreeable, irregular, peculiar, out of the ordinary, bizarre, uncommon, unexpected

Bipolar Disorder: People usually use “bipolar” as a way to describe someone who has mood swings or is acting irrationally. They may also say things like “maniac” or “maniacal” to mean the same thing or to indicate violence. 

What you mean: irrational, illogical, moody, acting strange, unreasonable, silly, senseless, foolish, absurd, impractical, volatile, inconsistent, erratic, unreliable, temperamental, fiery, emotional, impulsive

Many of these terms are used as synonyms but have slightly different connotations for people who misunderstand these conditions. Sometimes people refer to others as “borderline” (borderline personality disorder [BPD]) to mean the same thing as “psychopath” or “bipolar”. Meanings can fluctuate and mean many different adjectives. Please use words and phrases like I have listed instead of continuing to stigmatize and demonize these real human beings who are completely deserving of love, respect, and dignity. Add your own words that you like to use (my favorite are wild and ridiculous) in the notes!