#nah kidding

[heavenbarnes]

I've been chased, almost bit and actuslly bit by many'a dog in my 24 uears of life. Beagle, lab, pitfalls, a retriever and 2 German Shepherds. I now have two German Shepherd mixes [thanks husband] and they're actually kind of nice. Dumb, but protective [protective of the house from our landlord they see every day tho 🤦] and they give me a sense of security when I'm home alone and it's like the dead of night

They're also kind of a police/protection breed. Obviously not these two nuts, but the breed in general. So now, as I sit home alone with these two bozos [and my three cats and like 14 fish] I'm thinking of, like

Does Older bf! Simon get his girl a protection woofer? Rescue or breeder dog? How does that conversation go if he does? Does she think it's overkill or is she thankful for the company when he's gone?

Sorry for the long ass post btws, and the unsolicited pic of the two braincells I call my pets

ok never apologise for pictures of your dogs, they’re so stinkin’ cute 🫶🏼

i think older bf!simon hates being away from you in general but one of his biggest frustrations is that fact he’s left you alone.

he doesn’t like the idea of you being alone in that house and he doesn’t like knowing anything could happen and there’s not a damn thing he could do from so far away.

so yeah, he rescues two dogs (without fkn telling you) and they’re a couple of doberman brothers. they could stand on their back paws and put their front ones on your shoulders, these things are massive and look mean.

naturally, they adore simon and he could walk forever and they’d stay at his side. all he has to do is whistle and they’re on his heel, they don’t even rark up when he’s got his mask on.

you think they don’t like you as much as him, given the fact they spend so much time with him and only seem to tolerate you with food present.

“si, i don’t know why you got them- they much prefer you anyway”

“they like you, sweet’art- everything likes you”

it’s not as if they dislike you, they’ll sleep on the floor on your side of the bed and they’ll sit at your feet under your spot on the couch. sometimes when you’re wandering the house doing chores you can hear their claws on the floor just a few steps behind you.

almost like they’d been trained that way.

simon likes knowing they’re there to keep you company. that if someone chose their misfortune by trying to hurt you and simon wasn’t there to kill them himself? he knows something just as primal as he will do it for him.

so when he comes home from deployment late at night with no warning (as usual) and his boots are loud on the concrete outside as he approaches, he can see movement in the glass by the front door.

he knows it’s you, he’d know you with his eyes plucked out. he doesn’t like the idea that you might be afraid right now, hearing movement and having to investigate it on your own.

he’s about to speak up, to let you know it’s him and let you rest- but something stops him. he’s dead silent so he can hear it, you let out one sharp whistle.

suddenly, two large heads appear at either hip flanking you- simon’s sure he can hear growling all the way from here. he can’t help the smile that forms beneath his balaclava.

“s’alright”

growling stopped, lights come on.

“daddy’s home”

[frenchiepal]

the semester is coming to an end! not fast enough though!

[jellazticious]

If I post a whole fucking essay about Art, Animation, and Its Downgrade Because Of Capitalism tomorrow, that's just because it's for college

[the-sun-is-also-a-star]

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately 😏

/j

/j

Unless…

Ryan Reynolds duh

[seonghwacore]

thanks to gege akutami i will start smoking and drinking again. bring it

[holymotherofwmps-the-reblogging]

Save (some for) me too!

Eurylochus with long hair save me

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

[un-dermask]

"Why can't you see yourself the way those who love you see you..?"

"How I see you..."

"..."

shh....💕 In my mind this is what happened in that scene -//w//-

Redraw of this

Comic: bio parents Au by @kyri45

And here is the full page!

[anionnnnn]

Bread 🍞

[ongoing-catastrophe]

Batman is such a great character NOT JUST because he's technically overpowered as hell but everyone loves that instead of being annoyed by it, but also because this fool is so shippable. He's bitchy enough that he can be coworkers-to-lovers with anyone on the Justice League. He's a control freak. He's a trust fund baby. He's a bit of a slut. He's a dad. He can change his personality at will but at his core he's a troll and a hater. Literally something for everyone.

[arttsuka]

Werewolf Wendy 💢💥💥💯💥💥💣

Also the twins

The lineart that I also colored digitally (mainly to decide on the final colors)

[nenoname]

stan spending their childhood trying to make ford's polydactyly something positive in ford's life and genuinely believing its super cool....

[heartorbit]

the narcissist fools himself

[dekusleftsock]

They did not know how to dress as kids

[eeriedragone]

Bill is my new Muse fr

Song info below

S'i' fosse foco, ardere' il mondo,

s'i' fosse vento, lo tempestarei,

s'i' fosse acqua, i' l'annegherei,

s'i' fosse Dio, mandereil'en profondo.

s'i' fosse papa, sare' allor giocondo,

ché tutti cristïani imbrigherei

s'i' fosse 'mperator, sa' che farei?

A tutti mozzarei lo capo a tondo.

S'i' fosse morte, andarei da mio padre,

s'i' fosse vita, fuggirei da lui:

similemente farìa da mi' madre.

S'i' fosse Cecco, com'i' sono e fui,

torrei le donne giovani e leggiadre:

e vecchie e laide lasserei altrui.

"S'i fosse foco" performed by Fabrizio De André

(S'i' fosse foco, arderei 'l mondo,

s'i' fosse vento, lo tempesterei,

s'i' fosse acqua, i' l'annegherei,

s'i' fosse Dio, mandereil'en profondo.)

This poem was originally written by Cecco Angiolieri, and it is meant to be improper and silly, going against the vaules of the time (at least this is what I found out after 5 min of research haha, and it reminded me of a certain triangle).

[jadentime]

undertale doodles i did for undertale’s anniversary that i originally plan to post on September but school stuff happened and thats why im late. finally i can do something else