#n a big fuck you to grandpa o

[theywontletmebeprincipal]

making hyperspecific memes about my family history

[yoditopascal]

Sweetest Pie

summary: The Worst Logan isn’t so bad after all. (logan/wolverine x fem black reader)

content warning: Wade is your best friend that’s a warning all on its own, some angst (like literally the tiniest bit) cussing, mutual pining, making out, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, p in v, dirty talking? (I’m so bad at writing it lmaoo), creampie, actual pie, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it fellas), dacryphilia, post DP&W, breaking the bed, scent kink, overstimulation, he technically sniffs your underwear??, Deadpool being Deadpool, MINORS DNI

a/n: The Sweetest Pie by Megan the Stallion is playing in the background while y’all fuck, that’s all.

tag list: @allmyn1ghts @figsnpassionfruits @dragonqueen89 @shebby-the-webby

Ducking down out of the way, Wade just barely makes it out of the line of fire as a glass mug hits the wall behind him, shattering on impact.

“You wanna run that by me again bub?”

“That was my favorite mug!”

“Repeat what you fucking said!” He snarls, hand balled into tight fists, it’s taking everything in his power not to maul the idiot with his claws….again

“All I said was you're more pent up than a nun doing squats in a cucumber field!” Wade said looking back at the wall, there was already a dent forming, one of many that had been popping up since the older mutant had decided to move in with him.

It's been 3 months since Logan started living with Wade and Blind Al and he’s about fucking had it. Laura had moved out after the first month, needing her own space, but she still frequently visited, he honestly was tempted to join her but figured she wouldn’t want her old man around all the time cramping her style.

Logan could feel a headache coming on as he pinched the bridge of his nose as Wade spoke again.

“You, my little honey badger, are lacking in the hanky panky department and no amount of self loving in the bathroom mirror at midnight is gonna fix that.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” He asked, sometimes he felt like instead of forming actual sentences Wade just put a bunch of random shit together so he could hear himself speak.

“Oh my gooood you’re so old, I’m talking about sex grandpa, you know, fucking? The horizontal hula? Bumping uglies? Filling the cream donut?”

“Stop.” Logan said with a look of disgust.

“I can smell your sexual frustration from here.” Wade groaned. “You need to spend a little less time brooding around the house like you're a DC character, and maybe spend a little more time doing hot yoga.” He was as he holds up a finger and boops Logan on the nose.

Logan swats his hand away but Wade continues paying no mind to his attitude as he points toward the front door.

“It just so happens that I know a great friend o’ mine who’d have absolutely no problems taming the beast for you bub and oh look at that, she happens to live right across the hall.” He said with a wink

“Don’t bring her into this.” Logan said, waving him off as he went to sit on the couch. Unfortunately Wade knew exactly how he felt about you, having figured it out during their whole ordeal with his variants, Paradox and Cassandra and the bastard had yet to let him live it down.

“Come on Wolvie you can cut the sexual tension you two have with a knife, it’s so thick!” He groans again, throwing himself on the couch beside him dramatically. “It might even be thicker than ours!” Wade said as he leans on Logan’s shoulder fluttering his scarred eyes at him. He shrugs him off, turning the tv on hoping the sound of whatever was on would drown him out but Wade just kept going.

“Stop being a pussy and talk to her!”

“Oh like how you talked to Vanessa?” He snapped back, his anger reaching its limit.

“First of all, we’re a working progress right now and second of all, ouch! Who hurt you?”

Growing tired of Wade and his endless jabbering Logan stood going to grab his jacket from the closet so he could leave.

“Where are you huffing and puffing off too big bad wolf?”

“Anywhere but here.” He said slamming the door shut behind him.

After a few drinks at Sister Margaret's and time to cool his head, Logan returns home to get some chores out of the way. He was far over due to wash his stuff and his hero costume was really starting to fuck with his nose, so, shoving a few handfuls of quarters from Al’s disco dust fund jar into his pockets,he loaded up his hamper and heads down to the laundry room in the basement.

Upon entering he almost immediately bumps into you. You were kicking the dryer when he found you, pissed because it ate your quarters, not paying attention to your surroundings at all.

Digging around in his pockets he bumps his shoulder to yours to get your attention. Startled you nearly jumped out of your skin as he held a hand up in surrender, not meaning to scare you.

“Sorry, just thought I’d offer up some of mine.” He said, pulling a handful of change from his back pocket.

“Oh. that’s ok, I’m-” you start but are stopped when he grabs your hands with one of his and unceremoniously dumps the change into your palms.

“I wasn’t suggesting, take 'em I got more than enough.”

With a silent nod you thank him as he shrugs you off with a “Don’t mention it.”

Logan starts to load up his laundry into the washer next to yours, watching you out of the corner of his eye as you toss your wet clothes into the dryer. You don’t notice as a piece of yellow fabric falls to the floor between you, Logan turns his head to say something, at first not realizing what it was, until it dawns on him that, holy shit, it's a pair of your underwear…and they had Wolverine on them.

They were boxer briefs, nothing inherently sexy about them, but the scent they gave off, clean laundry soap mixed with the smell of your core had Logan reeling.

A small smirk crawled across his face as he started to imagine you wearing them around your house, nothing else adorning your body except for an oversized tee shirt that looked eerily like one of his own, he thought it was cute. Turning his head back to finish his task he kept loading his clothes not showing interest in the underwear to keep from making things awkward. One thing he couldn't deny was your scent. The scent of your core that lingered on the fabric was making his head swim, it was utterly intoxicating, this definitely didn't help with growing his frustration.

After he loaded the washer he pulled a flask from his pocket taking a shot of liquor inside to compose himself as he realized you still hadn’t noticed you dropped them. “You uh dropped something sweetheart.” he nodded towards them. Horrified, you snatch them up and throw them in the dryer.

“Oh god I-I’m sorry! I-“ you start to stutter, at a complete loss for words you slam the dryer lid close and grab your basket ready to leave and hide away in your apartment for the rest of your life until Logan stops you with a strong hand that engulfs your wrist.

“No I-uh I get it. He was your hero right?”

“Yeah he was… but so are you!” You started but quickly press a fist to your forehead in frustration.

“Sorry I don’t want you to feel like you're obligated to live up to him or anything, you’re your own person! I just-“ you were interrupted by Logan closing the distance between you. In your frustration a few of your locs had slipped from your ponytail and were hanging in your face. Logan reached towards you moving one from your face tucking it behind your ear, his bright hazel eyes scanning you carefully taking in your features with a smirk.

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” He said, your scent was sending his sensing into overdrive, he could smell your sweat mixed with the soap you used with the spicy aroma of your arousal starting to peek through.

You look down to the ground still slightly embarrassed but mostly warm from the close proximity before you feel a finger lift your chin causing your gaze to meet Logan’s once more. “S-sorry I ramble when I’m nervous.” It came out almost as a whisper, causing Logan to chuckle. It was an annoying habit you had picked up from your best friend Wade over the years he noticed. The intensity of his stare was starting to send your stomach into knots but not in a bad way.

The sound of the laundry room door opening and closing as another tenant enters quickly separates them. Silently the pair looked away from each other as the tenant loaded up his belongings in the open washer. He quickly spared a passing glance between the two of you who awkwardly tried to stare at anything but each other before shrugging his shoulders and leaving.

An awkward silence blanket over the two of you as you shuffle your feet before you scooped up your basket again.

“Listen Logan-“

“Darlin I-“

You both started at the same time. A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest causing your cheeks to feel warm. You smiled down at your feet and tucked another stray loc behind your ear before Logan spoke again.

“You first.”

“I was just gonna ask, did you maybe wanna come over for dinner tonight?”

Logan thought of a million different reasons why he shouldn’t. As if you could see the hesitation across his face you spoke up again.

“Before you say no, I got booze. Something a bit stronger than what I normally drink but it’s right up your alley. It was a gift from Wade.”

Of course it was from Wade.

“I’m also making pie.”

Well shit.

He let out a small sigh, looking down at your big pleading doe eyes before he shrugged; “Sure,why not.” Afterall how could he say no to you when you looked like that?

He could almost imagine Wade fist pumping the air in excitement at the aspect of the two spending alone time together, the blubbering idiot.

You flashed Logan another bright smile before heading to leave, you paused in the doorway for millisecond, before asking “See you at 7?”

“It’s a date doll.”

Seven o’clock rolled around much too quickly for either of them. Logan was busy fussing with his hair in the mirror trying to get the tufts of hair that usually stick up to lay down when Wade walked into the bathroom unceremoniously.

“Don’t you look positively ravishing tonight, got a hot date peanut?”

“Fuck off.” He growls, giving up with his hair and going to throw on a flannel over his wife beater.

“Wait, you do! Holy dick cheese Batman it’s finally happening!” Wade squealed excitedly

“What the hell are you even doing in here?” Logan asked in the doorway of the bathroom observing Wade, he was dressed in a tee shirt and a pair of hello kitty pajama pants and slippers, Logan rolled his eyes before heading to the kitchen to grab a beer.

“Had to take a shit, thanks for asking, but don’t change the subject!” Wade said following him into the kitchen “Who’s the lucky gal?” He asked leaning on the island, his head propped dreamily on his fist. “Or guy we don’t judge here. Wait wait wait! It's not who I think it is, is it?”

Logan didn’t say anything as he guzzled down his drink pre-gaming for the night, turning to grab another from the fridge before plopping down on the couch behind him.

At his silence Wade kicked his feet and clapped his hands excitedly, swinging around in his seat to look at Logan. Mary Puppins barked from her spot on the couch beside him.

“Fuck the Bachelorette and Love Island! The producers are going to make a killing outta this!” He paced excitedly flopping down beside him struggling to keep his composure. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?! We are gonna make millions, no fuck that billions off your sex tape alone! I mean you two love birds are going to blossom in internal passion as the stars align with the future of the virgin Mary!” He said hugging Logan from the side.

Confused as fuck he shrugs Wade off him with a frown as he stands to his feet looking at his roommate with a raised brow. Downing the last of his beer he puts the empty bottle on the counter and heads for the door not wanting to be late.

“Oooh don’t forget to wear a condom, peanut! Remember wrap it before you tap it, before you attack her wrap your whacker! And if you’re not gonna sack it, come home and-!“

Logan slams the door shut before Wade could finish anymore of his bullshit.

He raised his hand to knock at your door but hesitated for a moment. Memories of the you from his timeline flooded his brain for a brief moment and he lowered his hand. He had really fucked you over royally in his own timeline and then you had died before he had a chance to fix that. Was he even worth your time in this one?

He shook the thoughts from his head and squared his shoulders, this was his second chance, a chance to fix all the shit he messed up before and he’d be damned if he was gonna waste this opportunity.

Just as he raised his hand to knock again you tore the door open with wide eyes.

“Logan hi!”

“Hey- you ok kid? You look outta breathe.” He questioned looking you up and down in concern while also unabashedly checking you out.

“Y-yeah I’m sorry I was about to come over and ask Wade if I could borrow something but I-it’s fine come on in!” you said ushering him in before the door behind you both.

The inside of your apartment is cute. The layout is much the same as his own place that he shares with Wade and Blind Al but yours just felt a little more homey to him.

Movie posters and works of art decorated your walls, there was a bookcase in the living room full of all kinds of books and knick knacks that you had collected over the years. On a table by the tv was a record player with a decent sized stack of vinyls. The whole place just screamed you.

“Dinner’s just about ready!” You said drawing his attention back to you. You had changed clothes since he last saw you in the laundry room, your outfit hugging your soft curves in all the right places.

“I was comin’ over to see if Wade had some ice cream for the pie, but I guess we could go without it.” You said leading him into the dining room with a smile, you’re always smiling at him, he noticed. “I hope you like blueberry!”

Logan never thought he'd see the day where someone would cook a nice meal for him let alone the variant of someone he treated so callously before.

He winced internally trying not to think about that. He was here now, not in his old shitty universe where you were gone, but in a new one, one where he had friends, a daughter, a family. It was a chance to start over.

“Sounds great darlin, I’m starving.”

Once you sit down for dinner Logan immediately tucks in, he could smell what you were cooking hours ago from across the hall and damn if it wasn’t the best thing he ever put in his stomach.

The two of you made light conversation as you ate, you poured yourself a glass of wine while Logan had the hard stuff, single malt scotch on the rocks. It had been a gift from Wade after one of his missions, an expensive one at that, and Logan savored every drop of it.

After a few more drinks the pair cleared their empty plates, wrapping up the leftovers of their meal up in portions so Logan could take some home with him. You were pulling the pie from the oven when you heard the telltale sound of running water, looking over you see Logan, rolling up his sleeves with a dish towel draped over his shoulder as he started to do the dishes.

You bite your lip to physically keep from moaning and embarrassing yourself on the spot, domesticity looked damn good on him.

His nose twitched as he smelled your arousal spike for a second, thinking it better to keep that to himself he shifted on his feet as he dried a dish and put it on the rack.

“You don’t have to-“ You started pulling off your oven mitts. They were Star Wars themed, nerdy like the rest of your apartment.

God you were such a geek! You thought flustered, while shoving them onto the counter behind you.

“Nah you cooked, it’s the least I could do.” He said not moving from his spot at the sink

“Logan.” You said firmly placing a hand on your hip. “You’re a guest.”

“And you cooked.” He reiterated,cocking an eyebrow your way. “I’m not budging on this darlin.”

You sigh defeatedly as you grab the towel from his shoulder. “Fine, at least let me help.”

The two of you do the dishes in silence, him washing and you drying, your fingers brushing against each other every so often.

“Dinner was great.” Logan said awkwardly trying to break the stifling silence that enveloped you.

“Good I’m glad you liked it.” You smiled down at your hands timidly, refusing to let him see you cheesing as hard as you were.

“Sorry for not being better company, I know you’re more used to people talkin’ your ear off.”

Wade begrudgingly crosses his mind.

"I'm just uh not so good with people. Makes me anxious.” He admitted, it took a lot for him to come out and say it but he was comfortable with you, he trusted you.

“I get it, I’m the same way that’s why I’m always around Wade. He usually does all the talking for me.” You say fondly thinking back to all the times Wade had been your emotional support extrovert.

Logan honestly had no idea how you put up with him.

“Besides I think your company’s just fine Logan, I like having you around.”

I like being around you too, he wanted to say but he couldn’t get it out. Instead he settled for brushing his shoulder against yours, a small smile dancing across his features as you smiled back up at him.

Flicking the water from your hand as you both finished up, you dry your hands on another rag before offer it up to Logan, his fingers brushing against yours for the umpteenth time that night.

When you look up he’s staring at you, his eyes taking in your features again, flickering between your face and your mouth. You can’t quite place what the emotion is behind his eyes but it makes your belly feel warm and your chest flutters.

Maybe it’s the alcohol you both had, though you know for a fact it takes a whole hell of a lot more than what you had to get you both drunk, but you could have sworn he was getting closer to you.

You start to back up just as he moves to close the distance between you. Chest to chest, or more like chest to sternum as he was almost a whole foot taller than you, Logan starts to lean down sniffing you as your back hits the counter behind you.

“Your heart’s racing.” He says

You had almost completely forgotten about his heightened senses. You were so nervous this whole evening, hoping that everything would go right, could he hear you this whole time? Oh god could he smell you?

“You smell good too.” He says moving to stroke your face with the back of his hand, confirming your fears. You clench your legs together tightly, hoping to at least dampen the smell of how wet you were becoming, causing him to chuckle.

“No use hiding it doll, I can smell you from a mile away.” He said leaning down so that his face is closer to yours.

“Logan…” you whisper. His eyes never leaving your mouth.

“Hm?”

“T-the pie…” You stuttered nervously as your own eyes drifted down to his mouth. You worked so hard on the pie you didn’t know if you’d hate it more if it went to waste or if he moved away from you at that moment.

You wanted more than anything for him to stay where he was, caging you in at the counter like a frightened little mouse.

“It can wait sweetheart.” He said, finally claiming your lips as his own.

He pulls back for a moment to look at you, dipping to place a gentle peck on your lips, as if he’s asking if this is ok.

You wrap your arms around him, dragging his mouth back down to yours, he moves his hands to the back of your thighs hoisting you up onto the counter behind you, grinding himself into you as the kiss deepens.

Logan hesitates in the kiss for a moment, pulling himself away from you as if he realizes something. When you try to lean back in and kiss him again he stops you, holding you at arm’s length searching your eyes for something, anything he could use to make you hate him in this timeline like you undoubtedly did in his old one but he found nothing but adoration.

“You-“ he starts to speak, his voice a little shaky “You don’t want this sweetheart, I’m not a good man.”

I’m not your hero, he meant to say.

You place a hand on his cheek rubbing softly at his mutton chops with your thumb.

“Please stop telling me what I fucking want.” You say leaning back in to peck at his lips. “I want you, not a hero, or this timeline’s Logan, or any other Logan out there, just you. You’re not the Worst Logan, you're just you and I want all of you.” You finish while leaning up into him, waiting for his response.

Raising an eyebrow and at a complete loss for words, having rarely heard you cuss, Logan smirks before leaning back down to meet you the rest of the way recapturing your lips with a “Yes ma’am.”

His right hand comes up to cup your jaw, gently running the pad of his thumb over the skin before running his hand up to weave his finger through your locs.

You hop off the counter, grabbing him by his flannel your mouth reconnects with his as you lead him into your bedroom, he kicks the door shut behind him.

You start to kiss down his jaw before Logan stops you with a growl. He picks you up and tosses you onto the bed before his lips reconnect with yours.

His hands find their way under your clothes to paw at you, as you free him from the confines of his flannel. Tossing it behind him, it hits your iPod dock causing music to start playing but neither of you care, too enraptured in each other to even notice. Logan pulls away from your mouth only long enough to pull your shirt over your head, his hands trailing down to pull down your pants and underwear next.

He grabs you by your hips dragging you to the edge of the bed, as he kneels down in front of you, eye level with your hot core.

You throw your head back with a moan at the first drag of his tongue. Your legs finding their way around his shoulders as he drags his nose and tongue up and down teasing you.

He presses his mouth against your clit, sucking on it before pulling away and flicking it with his tongue, drawing circles and nipping at it with his teeth.

Watching you through dark lashes, he drags his hand down your body bringing it to his mouth, he licks his finger, bringing it to your wet cunt as he slowly begins to move it in and out of you, curling it against your gummy walls searching until he finds the right spot. You let out a strangled half-sob as he leans back down pressing his mouth against your clit again, sucking and flicking at the hard nub.

“Shit,” you rasp out, reaching out for him. He knew you were getting close, he could tell from the way you pulsed around him as he added another finger.

Tears brimmed your eyes as you felt your orgasm building. “Please, right there!” You choked, eyes closing as you threw your head back.

“So fucking wet for me already and I barely touched you.” Logan chuckles. You stifled a noise as your impending orgasm builds in your gut.

“I-I’m gonna-!” You start to cry out but are cut off by a sob.

“I gotcha darlin, I’m right here.” He mumbles into your pussy as he reaches his free hand out to hold your hips open for him, your hands frantically bury themselves in his hair, desperate for something to hang on to. He carries on lapping at you as you squirm talking you through your orgasm as he rubbed his nose to your clit, drawing it out of you as his fingers continue to fuck in and out of you.

“That’s it sweetheart.” He sighs as he keeps fucking you on his fingers, his intensity increasing as he latches himself back onto your clit devouring you like a man starved, you come almost instantly. It’s when he looks up at you, hazel eyes dark and hungry, that you finally lose it, your second orgasm of the night ripping through like a freight train.

Standing back to his feet Logan licks your residue from his lips and fingers, chin glistening with your slick.

You sit up immediately grabbing at his belt, fingers rushed and fumbling with the buckle, he replaces your hands quickly unbuckling it before pulling the hem of his shirt up over his head.

Reaching behind you, you free your chest from your bra, just as he kicks his pants off. Logan pushes you backwards, your back hitting the soft mattress beneath you as he stalks over towards you on his hands and knees.

He inhales deeply through his nose taking in your scent, the aroma of you mixed with your arousal is intoxicating and is driving him absolutely feral, with a wet kiss he bites down hard where your neck and shoulder meet, where your scent’s the strongest, nearly drawing blood, before he’s back on you, covering your mouth with his own kissing you viciously as if you’d fade away from existence if he let you go.

He laps at the spot he had previously bitten you as he slowly pulls away, soothing the skin there. The mark was already gone, thanks to your healing factor, but god you could still feel it and you secretly ached that he’d do it again.

You soon feel the head of his cock running along your folds, it’s thick, and hot to the touch as he runs it along your slick hole. Then without warning he’s pushing into you, sheathing himself inside of you with a single thrust.

Logan threw his head back with a loud groan. He promised himself he’d go slow with you, take his take opening you up for him but fuck if this didn’t feel right, good it felt oh so good.

“Fuck” he grunts out into your mouth as he drops his head down to drag you into a hard smoldering kiss swallowing your moans as he sinks in fully.

He lets you adjust for a few moments before he pulls back and thrusts into you instinctively, repeating the harsh action as he begins to slowly pick up his pace. If you had been completely human, the force of his thrusts would’ve surely shattered your pelvis or at least threw them out of alignment.

Reaching up to grab onto the headboard of your bed to anchor himself Logan locks in fully, gripping the wood bar in a death grip as he pushes into you. You reach up too, grabbing a handful of sheets by your head with one hand and his hips with the other, desperate for something to anchor yourself with as Logan’s brutal pace has you reeling.

“L-Logan!” you cry out, body shaking from the force of his thrusts. His cock sinking deeper and deeper as he angles your legs over his shoulders, hitting that sweet spot inside of you repeatedly making your legs tremble in unadulterated pleasure.

An audible crack is heard from where Logan is still holding onto your headboard but you both could careless, your heads completely clouded over with lust.

Just when you were starting to think it was all too much, his thumb finds your clit again and starts to rub fierce quick little circles.

“Gimme one more darlin.” His voice is strained and rough, as he leans down to your neck inhaling your scent again as he licks up to your neck nipping at your jaw and neck as he pulls away.

You scrambled to get away, pushing at his chest as the over sensitivity was proving to be too much.

Logan lets go of the headboard and grabs both your hands with his much larger one, locking them firmly to his chest right over his rapidly beating heart.

“Don’t try and run from me kid, you wanted this remember?” He chuckled darkly, picking up his pace even more if that were possible.

Tears stream steadily down your cheeks as your barreling toward your next orgasm, it’s here, with your hair fanned out around your head, cheeks puffy and tear stained while you pant desperately trying to get away and keep up with him at the same time , that he thinks this is the most beautiful he’s ever seen you.

“Come on my dick, baby.”

Your body completely locks up at his words, your back arching off the bed as you scream, your orgasm wrecking through you as you clench around him like a vice. Logan drops your legs, yanking you up into a messy kiss as he takes you through it.

“Good fucking girl.” He grunts against your lips, he gives you a few moments to come down from your high, burying his face into your neck before he resumes his punishing pace.

You think you’re at your limit as fat tears fall from your eyes, never have you ever felt this good, this full before, it’s far too much for you.

Just as you were about to tap out, he grunts into your neck, his hands move to grip your ass bringing it up to meet his thrusts.

“Fuck, tell me where?” He growls out. He wraps an arm around your back bringing you chest to chest as he fucks you on his lap, the new angle making him hit that sweet spot inside of you that makes your toes curl.

At first you don’t quite understand what he’s asking, your brain too foggy to comprehend much of anything right now, but as he sinks his teeth into your shoulder, nearly drawing blood again, you finally understood, he was close and so were you again.

“Inside, please I wanna feel you.” You whimpered as he pounds into you. He groans at your request and picks up the pace rutting up into you desperately like an animal. His hammering is deep and unforgiving with his enhanced strength but it feels too good to make him stop, you’ll definitely have a hard time walking in the morning.

With one last harsh flick of his thumb to your clit you’re coming hard on his dick, clenching around him as your body quivers uncontrollably, almost blacking out for a moment.

He growls as his hips stutter against your own, as he cums into you, the force of his final thrust knocking you both bad down onto the mattress. Logan thrusts a few more times, pumping his load as deep inside of you as he could, claiming your mouth once again in a deep searing kiss.

You run your hands through his hair as he nearly drops himself on you, his forearms supporting the weight of his adamantium skeleton. He’s still buried inside you as you're peppering his face and neck with light kisses.

It’s quiet for a moment before he lifts himself up, pulling himself from inside you with a grunt. He pushes stray locs from your face as he kisses your forehead and flops over onto the other side of the bed dragging you with him.

At the weight of his adamantium bones dropping down onto the already crack and barely hanging on frame your bed frame finally gives out dropping your mattress to the floor with a loud thud, startling the both of you.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You panted too shocked and tired to move from your spot on his chest.

“Sorry baby, I’ll get you a new one.” Logan laughs lightly as he pulls you to his chest.

A comfortable silence fills the room as the two of you lay on the floor, your breathing starting to return to normal. Leaning down to inhale your scent again Logan’s met with the pleasant tang of you covered in him and pulls you tighter snuggling you into him.

“You still with me?” The rough edge of his voice brings you back to your senses.

You smiled up at him from his chest with a big dopey smile, eyes completely dazed as you answered with an “mm-hm.” Too fucked out to fully speak properly. You laid back down on his chest, eyes closed as you shiver, he runs a hand up and down your spine as you start to drift off.

He chuckles at your response or lack thereof and pulls your sheets over the both of you. The temperature in the room had started to come down dramatically as your sweat covered bodies cooled in the night.

Just as Logan was about to close his eyes and join you in what was hopefully a peaceful night’s rest for the first time in years, your bedroom door bursts open revealing Wade, still clad in his hello kitty pajamas helping himself to a piece of the pie you had left out.

“Jesus Wade!” You yell eyes practically bulging out of your head as you scramble to grip the sheets to your chest.

“What the fuck asshole?!” Logan growled trying his best to shield you from view with his arms. His hazel eyes were seething with anger.

“My sweet virgin eyes!” Wade said, covering his eyes but still peeking through them through a gap in his fingers with a smirk as he chewed loudly. “You two sounded like an indoor jungle gym but instead of a shit ton of kids it's just you two.” He laughs shoving the rest of the slice into his mouth as he moves to sit on the edge of the broken bed on the floor, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “You, young lady, have some pipes on you. Could hear you practically singing about the Wolverine.~” he teases with a tsk.

“And you sir!” He points to Logan who growls at him as he swats his hand outta his face. “Where do I even begin?” He tsked again as he shook his head “You really had some pent up frustration didn’t you, you slut? Did you break her? I know she has a healing factor too but good god man have some restraint!” he leans back on her broken bed as he spreads himself out on the end.

“And her poor bed! I hope you're planning on replacing it, bee tee dubs.” Wade rolls over onto his side propping himself up on his elbow at the couple’s feet. “Did he even use a condom?” He whispered to you loudly before adding “Nice tits by the way.” as he winked at Logan. “I don’t think creampie was the type of pie she had in mind when she invited you over for dinner, old man.”

“Who knew Wolverine was a cuddler?”

You roll your eyes at Wade’s antics completely used to him over the years of knowing him but Logan on the other hand had clearly had enough. Ripping the sheets from himself you watch as Logan comically chases Wade out of the room, buck ass naked.

Slamming your bedroom door shut Logan turns the lock with a grunt, finally returning to your side he pulls you back to his chest and flings the sheets over you.

“He’s not so bad, y'know when you get used to him.” You shrug with your eyes closed as you snuggle into his chest. Adrenaline, now dying down, sleep had started to wrap you in its dreamy embrace and it was hard to keep your eyes open.

“That little cockroach is gonna be the death of me.”

You laugh at him one last time before finally drifting off. Your soft snores were the last thing Logan heard as he too snuggled into your warmth and drifted off.

Who knew the Wolverine was such a cuddler.

[poge-life]

𝔹𝕦𝕫𝕫𝔽𝕖𝕖𝕕 ℝ𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕋𝕖𝕤𝕥 ~ 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕨 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕖𝕪

“I’m (y/n) (l/n) and this fine looking gentleman is my boyfriend, Joseph and today…we’re doing the BuzzFeed relationship quiz to see how well we know each other.”

Drew let out a groan at the use of his first name, looking over at you, “I don’t like when you call me that. You only call me that when you’re mad at me.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before placing one on his shoulder and looking down at the laptop. The questions listed were more like a checklist rather than actual questions but there was a variety to choose from.

‘Their birthday’

“(Y/B/D) (Y/B/Y)” He answered, tapping his hands on the desk

“November 4, 1993.” You said, “I didn’t believe him when he told me he was 26 when we first met because he doesn’t look like he’s 30.”

Drew let out sigh, shaking his head, “I don’t like to talk about it.”

“You’re getting up there, grandpa.” You teased, letting out a laugh as he shrugged your head off of his shoulder.

‘Their Astrological Sign’

“Your astrological sign is (y/s/s). Most compatible with mine, by the way.” Drew said, looking over at you as you agreed, “Obviously. You are a scorpio. Totally makes sense.”

‘Their Phone Number’

“Okay, my number has been leaked so many times that I’m not even gonna let him say it,” You declared as Drew agreed, “I know you know mine because you use it at Dunkin’ all the time.”

You just smiled at the camera as he rolled his eyes at you.

‘Their Biggest celebrity crush’

“Nick Cirillo is his.” You answered, “Nick gets more attention than I do when we’re on set. Especially this season.”

“Nick is a beautiful man, what can I say?” Drew chuckled, raising his hands in surrender, “Yours is always changing. But, if it were to come down to it, I would have to say…(y/c/c). You talk about them a lot.”

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend, turning to give him an ‘are you serious’ look. Drew winked at you before turning back to the computer.

‘What their nickname is’

“Drewsph is a big one between our friend group,” you said, “I call you ‘baby’ a lot. I’ve also called you Drafe before on set.”

“When have you ever called me that?” He asked, confusion on his face, “I’ve literally never heard that one.”

“I do it when we’re on set and you’re in costume but not acting,” you explained, “you’re not exactly Drew and you’re not exactly Rafe. So… you’re ‘drafe.’”

Drew just looked at you with a blank expression before looking back at the camera, “I call her ‘babe’, ‘hun’, ‘sweet girl’ has been in there a few times. Maddy calls you Pookie.”

You let out a groan , banging your head against the desk, “They didn’t need to know that.”

“You called me Joseph, it’s fair game, babe.” Drew leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of your head.

‘Their coffee order’

“Oh good lord. Yours is always changing,” Drew answered, looking over at you, “Your current one is (y/c/o). You also do that vanilla cold brew from Starbucks a lot.”

“Do you know exactly how I get it though?” You asked

“5 pumps of vanilla and an extra pump of sweet cream.”

“You always just either drink an iced coffee with a little bit of creamer and like a spoonful of sugar or you get an Iced Almondmilk flat white.” You answered, “because you’re weird and can’t have a normal fucking coffee order.”

Drew narrowed his eyes at you, pursing his lips in the process, “Says the one who just weeds out their coffee with creamer.”

“Because straight black coffee is disgusting.” You argued, “If I wasn’t supposed to drown out the taste of coffee with creamer, it shouldn’t have been created.”

“So dramatic.” Drew mumbled and you mocked him “ ‘so dramatic’ Yeah. Okay.”

‘Their favorite alcoholic drink’

“Yours is different every time we go out,” You looked over at Drew, who agreed, “You drink beer in the summer, corona or Coors. When we go out to dinner, you do either whiskey. On the rocks. Or some kind of cocktail.”

“Yours depends on who you’re with,” Drew said, “You and Maddy have wine parties and go crazy for Mimosas at breakfast. But when we go out, you have (y/d/c).”

You threw your head back with a laugh at how crazy you both sound, “we sound like we’re alcoholics.”

“You and Maddy are just about there.” Drew shrugged, ignoring the look you sent him.

‘Their favorite co-worker’

You rolled your eyes at your answer, “Once again, Nick. But you also spend a lot of time with Austin and JD. But out of those three, I’m going with JD. You two hang out a lot together and he’s always at our apartment.”

Drew seemed pleased enough with your answer, “I’d say…Maddy or Rudy. You and Maddy instantly clicked when you two met and hung out more than the rest of us. But with Rudy, you two always find ways to entertain yourselves when you’re left alone.”

You had a grin on your face as you looked at the camera, “It’s always a good time with Rudy. He is the definition of letting the impulsive thoughts win. There is never a dull moment with him.”

‘Their pet peeve.’

You had to think about this one. Drew was a pretty calm person when he was around everyone and didn’t let anything really bother him. You couldn’t remember if he mentioned anything that bothered him.

“People chewing with their mouths open is your top one,” Drew said, “when people don’t take their shoes off before they sit on the couch-“

You cut him off before he could continue, “First off, we have a white couch and two, is it so wrong I don’t want whatever is on their shoes to be on our furniture? That seems like a pretty reasonable one to me.”

“Okay. I’ll give you that one. You also hate it when people don’t stack their dishes whenever we leave a restaurant.”

“I was a server in high school and college and I can say, it always made my job easier when we were busy.” You argued

You looked at Drew with your head tilted in thought, struggling to think of anything, “It’s not a pet peeve but it’s something that bothers you. When people come up to you at parties and think you’re like Rafe and give zero shits about your feelings.”

Drew let out a groan as he looked at the camera, “Please don’t come up to me and ask if I wanna do coke. I don’t do coke.”

“It’s amazing how many people in LA can get their hands on it,” You added. “You hate when people go through your camera without asking. That’s a major one I can think of. You also hate when people come over-“

“I do hate it when people come over.” Drew nodded and you rolled your eyes at him. “As I was saying, mr homebody, when people come over and use the shower and don’t hang up the towels or put out new ones.”

Drew looked at you in bewilderment, “You say that you it’s not something that wouldn’t bother everyone else. I don’t want to walk into a bathroom and step on a wet towel or be showering and not have a towel in the bathroom?”

You didn’t say anything as you just stared at him. You shook your head as you turned back to the camera and Drew just mimicked you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And there you have it! I think this proves that we know each other better than we thought we did.” You smiled, looking over at Drew, who agreed, “It’s not like we’ve been dating for three years or anything.”

“Anyways, season 3 is now streaming and if you wanna see more of us and our beautiful friends, go ahead and watch it! And we hope you enjoyed this as much as we did!”

[scoops-aboy86]

If You Were Serious (Secret Admirer pt 7)

Okay, so there will be more than seven chapters. For now, please enjoy Steve on painkillers and creative mix tape shenanigans.

(The crossed out thing after the first "Dear" is the first line of an E.)

wc: 3226 / rated: T / set end of/after season 3 / also on ao3

Dear I

Dear Secret Amdirer,

Sorry, painkillers kicking in. I got pretty banged up in the mall, in the fire. Well, less the fire and more getting hit by stuff. Mall fell down. I have ribs and eye and nose, and concussion this time so I had to stay over at Robin’s because someone had to keep an eye on me sleeping and my parents are still out of town. Dustin said I won at upper body injury bingo but I didn’t even know I was playing, that sounds like really a shitty game. 

Anyway, I haven’t been home so I don’t know if you tried to call. If you did, don’t worry!!! I’m not mad. I don’t not like you anymore just because you’re you. And this isn’t the durg drugs talking because I read your letter first before they kicked in, but I have to write this ASAP so it can get to you faster. 

You could’ve called back that night but if you needed some time to breathe I get it, it’s cool. And I kinda had a feeling after that you might be a guy? Like, shit, man, they’d eat you alive in this town. Not me, I learned my lesson after Jonathan wrecked my face after I called him and his family some bad things. I deserved that. Kinda funny how the next year he stole my girlfriend and now I like you. If you could still be interested in somebody who used to be like that. 

I know I like you because when you hung up I was really worried, you sounded like you were breathing really fast, maybe a panic attack? I have those after nightmares now. Robin too. (Don’t worry, we bonded and she’s like my sister now, she says we’re playdoh soulmates

“Oh my god, I knew explaining who Plato was was a bad idea. It’s platonic, Steve, not Play-Doh.”

“Stop reading over my shoulder! … How do you spell that?”

“P-L-A-T-O-N-I-C.”

“Thanks Robbie.”

she says we’re playdoh soulmates platonic soulmates.) I was worried about you and thought maybe you might be a guy but, that wasn’t as important as wanting you to be okay, you know? You still wrote me all those nice letters. You’ve made me feel really good about myself, why does it have to be different just because you’re not a girl? I can’t tell you why Robin knows about this stuff but she says I might be bysix bisexual. Not sure why I need a big fancy word for it when I didn’t have one for liking girls, I just know I care about you a lot and want you to like me. 

And you’re not a coward, you’re very very brave. You reached out first, you went for what you wanted even when I didn’t get it and tried to ask for too much too soon. And then you kept coming back to try again, even though I kept doing that. That’s so brave. 

I’m not feeling so awake anymore so I’m going to stop and have Robin mail this for me. (No way am I going out dressed like this. Her dad wears grandpa shorts dude, it’s pretty bad.) I’ll write more when I’m feeling better. Are you okay? Hope you weren’t anywhere near the mall the other night. Thanks for the rainbow song I will look for it.

Love Steve 

~

Once Eddie is done reading, he screams into his pillow for a different reason. Several, actually. 

First, he’s been so sure for the past week or so that he would never hear from Steve ever again. The only reason he’d checked his mail today was because he should have another zine coming in soon. He didn’t, but there was a yellow envelope with familiar, if slightly messier than usual handwriting on it. And inside that, stationary with colorful geometric shapes along the edges that Eddie now surmises is Robin’s. 

Second, Steve isn’t even writing to tell him to fuck off right to hell. Because yes, Eddie had heard the rumors about Steve calling Jonathan Byers a queer. The irony does send a seam of semi-hysterical laughter through his screams. It’s fine. It’s fine!

Third, Steve hasn’t been avoiding his calls. He just hasn’t been home. He’s hurt, and it sounds like his head and torso took quite a beating. Eddie remembers seeing him around school both times after the other concussions and that had looked bad enough, and that had just been his face. This sounds worse. 

Fourth, Steve is… still interested? Has talked to someone about this and might be bisexual?! Eddie’s never had anyone talk to someone else about him, has always been completely anonymous with a possible option of becoming a dirty little secret. And then the letter ends with ‘Love Steve.’ Love? Love Steve?!

Fifth, Robin knows he sent Steve that ice cream. Eddie doesn’t know what all “platonic soulmates” entails, but what if she tells him? What if she already has?!

Sixth, despite being injured, and having panic attacks apparently, Steve is still asking if he is okay. 

Seventh, beneath his name Steve had also doodled a lopsided happy face with what he can only guess is an ice pack balanced on top. Or… maybe it’s hair. Or some kind of hat. 

Any of these would be enough to make his head spin on their own, but it’s all happening at once and he doesn’t know what to do. So he screams into his pillow for a while longer, kicking his feet for good measure. 

He wants to rush out and find Steve, wherever he is. Wants to call him, but doesn’t know what he would say even if he did know the number to reach him right now. What he could say. Wants to wrap both arms around him and kiss his poor head better. Hell, if he’s turned Steve gay he doesn’t just want, he deserves to make that guy the little spoon for the first time in his life probably and just. Hold him. 

Except… he’s not sure he’s ready for face to face yet. He will be! Soon. Once all the emotions bubbling in his chest have settled a little. And after he’s pinched himself a few million more times just to make sure. But until then…

A thought occurs to him, and Eddie rolls over to frown consideringly up at the ceiling. He’s sent Steve words to comfort and reassure him before, right? Maybe there’s something else he can send, a different way of offering a part of himself to Steve until he works up the nerve to face him for real. 

It’s just going to take him a little time, and some recording equipment. 

~

Dearest Steve,

I hope this address is still okay to write to you while you stay with your friend, but I don’t know where she lives. 

You have no idea 

Holy shit man. Holy shit. Are you serious? No, strike that, you’ve been nothing but genuine in these letters and I trust you, I do. Holy shit though. It’s you. Clearly I never thought I’d actually have a chance, from the way I approached this whole thing, so you must forgive me for how utterly poleaxed, completely flabbergasted, and genuinely gobsmacked I am. 

And shit, I’m still sorry for hanging up on you. That golden years line—and this heavy secret of the most basic fact of who I am weighing on my shoulders, pressing down so hard I couldn’t breathe. I wish I’d just said something. But you’re right, I needed… space? And a push, to work up to writing the last letter I sent you. I got yours the day I put that in the mail, by the way, and that spun me even more because what if you read mine and took it all back?

But you didn’t. You didn’t, sweetheart. I’m still reeling in the best possible way. Again, axed like a pole, flabbers gasted, and gob thoroughly smacked.

Enough about me. More than enough about me. You’re concussed; I ought to wrap that gorgeous head of yours in bubble wrap and offer to fight all your battles henceforth, even against falling buildings. I’m glad you have someone out there who’s looking out for you though. I guess… you’ve told Robin about some things? Maybe these letters? Which is absolutely fine, by the way. It’s great! Fuck knows it wouldn’t have occurred to me to explain what bisexuality is, since I hardly dared to dream so big and only swing the one way myself. You’re an amazingly open-minded person by the way, Steve; I hope you know how rare that is, especially in a place like Hawkins. And Robin too, apparently. Please give her my highest regards, she is an angel among mortals and an inadvertent champion of this sad wet rag of a human being (me). 

At any rate, wishing you the speediest of recoveries and I hope you’re already feeling at least a little better. My condolences on the grandpa shorts, although personally I’m convinced you could wear a trash bag and still look like an Adonis. 

It’s taken me a little longer than I’d like to send this because I made something for you. Enclosed is a tape with some of the songs from our call that you said you liked, played acoustically by yours truly. Rainbow In The Dark is one of them. You mentioned having nightmares, and whenever I had bad dreams as a kid my mom would play for me until I calmed down. She’d hum instead of doing the words, to make it more like a lullaby. I hope it’s at least a decent distraction, sweetheart. 

Let me know if you like it? I can make one of your favorite songs too, just you let me know what they are. In the meantime, I remain, as always—

Your Secret Admirer

~

“You should tell him that you know,” Robin whispers, at some point during the fourth night in a row they’ve ended up crashed on the same bed listening to the Anti-Panic Attack Metal Mix. 

Her dad sleeps like the dead and her mom sleeps with earplugs in because he snores, so they get away with it, but Steve always insists on laying on top of the covers anyway. The friendship is still new, for all that they’re trauma bonded, and he wants to make sure she knows he’s not getting any funny ideas, that he gets the whole lesbian thing, that even though he’s new to being into a dude he’s committed to it and not wishy-washy or greedy or whatever.

He fiddles with a loose string on the blanket for a minute before answering. “No… I don’t want to freak him out again. It’s all going to be on his terms from here on out, no more pushing.”

“Well you’ve got to do something. Come on Steve, I’m invested now. Ask to meet him.”

He rolls his eyes. “What did I just say?” 

Immediately he gives an inward wince, because that came out bitchy. But Robin just snorts and murmurs “Fine,” sounding amused rather than offended, so he relaxes. 

They exist in silence for a while, side by side. Just close enough to not feel alone, drifting on the soft notes and low, rich hum. It’s soothing. 

“What if,” Robin starts, and ignores Steve’s huff. “What if you go somewhere you know he might show, and then give him the opportunity to talk to you?”

“Oh yeah,” he scoffs, “like what?”

“Summer house party.” Her whisper picks up a little in excitement as she warms to her own idea. “I bet we can find one that’s coming up soon. Everyone knows that Munson sells, it’s one of those never invited but always welcome things. Then if he doesn’t come to you, just buy some weed and see if he says anything.”

“No,” Steve whispers back. 

She rolls over to squint at him in the dark. “Just think about it, okay? You wouldn’t be forcing him to do anything, just… providing an opportunity. Come on, Stevie-evie, this is my chance to see a gay love story go right.”

“Vetoing that nickname.” With a sigh, he rolls onto his side too, facing her. “My face still looks like raw hamburger meat, Robs. I have like zero charm right now.”

The swelling has gone down, at least to where he can open his eye again but the bruising remains spectacular. It looks like a sunset exploded across the side of his face, and not in a good way. 

Robin rolls her eyes. “You’re more than just your face, dingus. It wasn’t your rugged jawline, sculpted cheekbones, or pimple-free forehead that wrote those letters, it was you. Steve.”

He goes to wrinkle his nose at the descriptions, but quickly remembers that’s still a bad idea with a swallowed grunt. “Please, never describe me again.”

“I make no promises. And anyway, if you’re willing to try makeup I think we could get most of it covered so no one’ll ever notice. Not at night, anyway.”

That gives him pause. He rolls onto his back again to think about it, staring up at the ceiling of Robin’s bedroom and tracing imaginary constellation lines between the glow in the dark stars she has up there. Beside him, he feels her settling on her back too without having to look. 

It’s not like when he’d found a little brother in Dustin—who has visited pretty much every day during Steve’s convalescence, sometimes with Erica or Mike, Lucas, and Max in tow, spouting off things he’s read in books about the various still-healing injuries. As annoying as it is, Steve appreciates that the little dork took the time to study what’s wrong with him enough to provide armchair diagnoses and give him advice about things that he already knows. 

Robin is… more of a twin than a sister. (Which, yeah, twin sister, whatever. That’s not the point.) They’re on the same wavelength in a way he’s never experienced before, not with Tommy or Carol or even Nancy. The closest thing Steve has ever had to this was during basketball games, in the heat of a play where everyone on the team knew where everyone was and where they’d be and how to work together as a unit, perfectly in sync. Only with Robin, it’s all the time. Sometimes they can even finish each other’s sentences—though they try not to do that around her parents, in the interest of not wanting them to think they’re a couple. 

They’re more like a pair of bonded kittens at the pound, Robin says. Must be adopted together. (“Okay, but why can’t we be dogs? Dogs are cooler.” “Because, dingus, you have a one-hundred-and-twenty-seven step hair and skin routine and you’re incredibly aloof when you want to be. I could go either way, but you’re one hundred percent cat.”)

“Maybe,” he whispers finally. 

He’s not sure she’s still awake—he’s not sure he’s still awake, with the soothing music lulling him back to a calm he hadn’t felt even before he’d gone to bed the first time. But he wants to think she hears it, just like he wants to think that he’ll run into Eddie and find out what it’s like to hold his hand, maybe even kiss him, all in the same night. He’s worn lip gloss, he can deal with a little makeup. 

“Maybe I’ll go.”

~

Dear Secret Admirer,

Thank you for the tape, it’s perfect. It helps me get back to sleep because it feels like you’re there, watching over me. Like nothing bad can happen. Sometimes the nightmares still come back after but I think it’s getting better. It takes a while, you know? Last time, after the after Billy after my last concussion it took a while to stop having bad dreams. I guess the mind needs time to heal too, even if the stuff that happens to it isn’t as “real” as breaking a nose or a rib. Who knew?

I really am serious, yeah. Even though I’m me. Whatever that means. I don’t really know what to do with myself or what I want right now. (Except you. Kind of cheesy, but maybe you like that about me? I guess it’s something I always tried to hide before because the guys would’ve made fun of me, fuck knows Tommy did all of junior year, but I kind of like the idea that maybe you saw it anyway.) Once my face heals up me and Robin are going to try and get jobs together somewhere else because we’re cats that have to stick together or we’ll get stressed out and claw all the furniture. Other than that I don’t know what I want to do except leave Hawkins someday. But stick around to make sure it’s to see the kids graduate. Dustin’s starting high school in the fall, maybe you could keep an eye out for him? Curly hair, no collarbones, ego bigger than the whole state, total nerd but in a good way, even if he’s sometimes a butthead about it. He plays that game with dragons and those weird looking dice, do you know it? Him and his friends Mike and Lucas are kind of bully magnets. (Max is starting freshman year too but she can take care of herself in that department.) They’ve all been pretty down after the mall and with Will and moving away and everything. Erica, Lucas’ little sister, I guess I’m her “babysitter” now too, is still in middle school but I don’t know if she’d be glad or insulted if I waited around to see her graduate. She can take care of herself too. She and Dustin were with us for most of the Starcourt burning down and it was a lot, but kids are resilient. I don’t think she gets nightmares, not that she would ever admit to anyone if she did even though in her own words “we’ve bled together.” She’s getting into the nerdy dice game too and is planning her campaign for President of the USA as soon as she turns, what, 40? 50? Whatever age you have to be before you can do that. I’ll probably still be in a town like Hawkins with another lame retail job by then, but she’s got my vote. She’d do a hell of a lot better job than Regan, that’s for sure. 

Is your mom My mom never sang to

Also, you are really good at guitar, man. I still think about your hands, I bet you have long fingers. Really… What’s a word for ‘good with his fingers’? I think about that sometimes. I don’t really know what kind of stuff two guys can do together except the obvious but I think about that a lot. I want you to play me like your guitar. I’d let you fight my battles too, at least until my ribs get back to normal and then we can both fight both of our battles. You know I’d do that for you, right? If you ever need me. I really like these letters. I really like you.

Love, Steve

P.S. If you were serious about making me another tape (which you really don’t have to, this was already going above and beyond), my favorite songs are…

Tag list (and if you missed the earlier chapters check the "#secret admirer steddie" tag on my blog): @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @tangerinesteve @steviewashere

@cryingglightningg @theresebelivett @sleepy-steve @rozzieroos @lunaraindrop

@just-my-latest-hyperfixation @wheneverfeasible @swimmingbirdrunningrock @yesdangerpls @matchingbatbites

@ihavekidneys @p0lybl4nkk @grtwdsmwhr @cheesedoctor @whalesharksart

@thetinymm @envyadams-vs-me @practicallybegging @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @dauntlessdiva

@nerdyglassescheeseychick @fuzzyduxk @chaosgremlinmunson @greatwerewolfbeliever @goosesister

@dolphincliffs @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @beckkthewreck @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao @kurofuckingshi16

@bookworm0690 @millseyes-world @live-laugh-love-dietrich @the-tenth-mus-e

[sugrhigh]

HOTBOX - ( m.s )

part two

summary- matt finally decides to smoke with his best friends for the first time, and he finds that it’s impossible to keep his eyes off of you

warnings- drug use, swearing, tiny bit suggestive

bff!matt x fem!reader

a/n: WOOOO finally a real piece of writing! i hope u guys enjoy. will possibly do a part two but idk, so if you have requests just ask!

he can’t stop drumming his fingers against the wheel as he steers the car along, desperately trying to relax a little bit and focus on the music that’s blaring through the speakers.

chris sits beside him in the passenger seat, feet up on the dashboard as you guys speed toward your destination. he can hear you and nate conversing in the back, practically shouting at each other over the song.

the waterfront comes into view through his windshield a moment later, moonlight shimmering against the glassy surface. matt takes the next left, swerving across both lanes of traffic to pull into the deserted lot.

there’s nobody on the beach of course, considering it’s almost midnight in the middle of november. he throws the car into park and lowers the volume, shifting in his seat so he can actually see everyone.

“i think that’s the fastest i’ve ever seen you drive, grandpa.” you tease him, unbuckling so you can lean forward in your seat.

he rolls his eyes, though he never actually minds it when you’re the one chirping at him.

“you’re gonna wish it was me once nate gets behind the wheel, i promise.”

“wow, so i volunteer to stay sober and this is the thanks i get?” his friend asks, arms crossed over his chest defensively.

“thank you nate.” you reply in a sing-song voice.

“yeah, yeah. whatever.”

matt watches as you claw through your bag, finally digging out a small blue pouch after a few more seconds of searching.

the moment you unzip it, the all-too familiar smell of weed fills the interior of the car. chris cheers when he sees you pull out a perfectly packed joint, holding it in between your middle and pointer finger with precision.

“you know, it’s really upsetting that you can roll better than me.” nate shakes his head with a sigh.

“aw, you gonna cry about it?” you puff your bottom lip out at him.

“i swear i’ll fucking walk home and leave you guys stranded.”

“sure you will. hold this.” you pass the joint to him before retrieving the lighter.

matt tries to play down the smile that’s beginning to take over his face as you hold it in your palm. he got that one for you on your last birthday. it’s a silver zippo lighter with a big winding dragon engraved on the side.

it was kind of a gag gift just because he knows how much you smoke, but you ended up genuinely loving it way more than he had ever expected.

chris smacks him in the arm gently, and he finally tears his eyes away from you.

“you sure you want to?” his brother double checks, though he doesn’t do a very good job of containing his obvious excitement.

“yup.” matt replies simply, his gaze darting in your direction again.

he’s never once felt pressured to smoke before, but he’s always been a little curious. he’s hung out with the three of you while you’re all stoned enough times to realize that he at least wants to try it.

and sure, maybe a tiny part of him is doing this because he wants to impress you. but what’s the harm in that?

“i’ll start her off, but then it’s coming your way matty b.” you nod at him with a smile, taking the joint back from nate.

his heart is already pounding and all you did was look at him.

you put the filter between your lips and spark his lighter, holding the flame to the end. he watches it burn as you inhale, trying to figure out exactly how he’s supposed to do this when it’s his turn.

you blow the smoke over your shoulder, careful not to do it in anyone’s face. no cough. matt doesn’t even see you flinch.

you take one more quick drag, and he’s already entranced by your fluid movements.

then you stretch your hand out, offering him the next hit as you silently exhale once again. it’s impossible for him to ignore the way he fumbles with your hand before he finally pinches it between his fingers.

it feels awkward, like he’s somehow already doing it wrong.

“just put your lips on it, suck in, not for long though because that’s real shit. then hold it in your throat, inhale it, exhale it.” you instruct him, and his mouth is already dry from the way you’re talking.

there’s something about the commanding edge to your voice that’s driving him crazy. he kind of likes that you’re the know-it-all, the one in control.

“sounds dirty, but you get the point.” chris states with a shrug.

yeah, sounds fucking dirty.

“you got this, don’t even think about it too much.” nate adds encouragingly.

matt bites the bullet, curling his lips around the end and inhaling. he definitely feels the smoke fill his lungs, so he pulls the joint away quickly and practically tosses it to chris.

“exhale, exhale.” you instruct, and he does so all at once.

it fogs up the car, smoke flying back up in his face instantly. then he feels it. the burning in his throat. the desperate need to cough.

he sputters, and chris is already motioning to one of the waters in the cup holder.

“keep holding your breath and drink that.”

he tries to do as he’s told, but it’s impossible to hold it in. he lets out a loud hacking cough. then another, and another. matt tries to sip on the water in between them, though it’s hard.

you rub his arm gently as the cough attack begins to die down, and the feeling of your fingernails scratching him lightly through his sweatshirt almost makes him shiver.

“i personally like a good cough everyone once in a while. humbles me.” you joke, removing your hand and sitting back in your seat once you’re sure he’s alright.

he misses your touch immediately, and it’s embarrassing.

chris has been keeping it lit, so he passes it back to you once you’re ready. matt is left out for a moment, and he doesn’t mind the brief break.

the music stays on in the background, a curated playlist of stuff that you all like. he sees you bopping your head along to baby keem, and you turn to him with the joint still burning between your lips.

“you want more?” you say as the smoke curls around your face.

in many ways.

matt nods and reaches to grab it from you, trying to be careful where he positions his fingers. he repeats his actions from earlier, breathing out slowly this time.

he still coughs quite a bit, but it’s not nearly as bad. the high is definitely rushing straight to his head, and it makes him feel like a balloon full of helium.

his brother guides the joint out of his hand gently. even he wheezes a bit as he takes his fair share, which makes matt feel better.

“how do you feel bro?” nathan asks him through the haze that’s filled the car.

“good. i feel good.” that’s all he can think to say.

and it is nice. everything seems just a little bit lighter. his body feels…loose. matt blinks, and he swears he sees stars behind his eyelids.

you reach up to open the sunroof, letting some fresh air into the car. there’s not a cloud in the sky tonight, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore calms him.

“one more baby hit, then you’re done.” you pass it to him for the last rotation.

“so bossy.” matt smirks at you, and there’s a humorous glint in your eyes as you watch him take a drag.

he tries impossibly hard to make it look cool, despite almost hacking up a lung and choking on his water. you laugh, but matt somehow understands that you’re not making fun of him by doing so.

chris snatches it from of his hand. “gimme that, it’s almost out.”

it’s like a game of ping pong as matt watches the two of you bounce back and forth, hit after hit. the joint dwindles and finally dies a minute later. you toss the burnt remains into a dunkin bag from god knows how long ago before slipping the lighter back into the pouch.

“alright, matt. time for you to switch with me big boy.” nathan reminds him, turning to open his car door.

matt follows his lead. his body feels like it’s three feet behind his brain, like his consciousness is just a few seconds faster. his legs wobble as his feet hit the ground, but he manages to steady himself, hand against the car as he moves.

nate walks him to the door just in case, and matt stumbles into his new home in the back, laughing at himself under his breath. you help him sit upright in the middle seat, reaching across his body to get to the belt.

“lift your arm.” you tell him, and even though he doesn’t want to, he listens.

you pull the buckle around and click it into place so he’s properly strapped in, doing it for him like he’s a toddler or something.

this is an action he’d normally protest, but he’s solely focused on how close together you are. he can feel the heat radiating from your body as your shoulder presses against his, knees knocking together as he gets comfortable.

“how are you doing? everything okay?” you ask lowly, looking up at him through those long lashes.

he can see the red tinging your eyes, and his own feel droopy as he continues to stare. matt just can’t help it. you look so gorgeous, somehow even more so when you’re both faded.

“cat got your tongue?” you joke, head tilted back to rest against the seat as nate puts the car in reverse.

“you’re pretty.” it slips out before he can stop it, and yet he’s too high to care.

your eyes go a little wide, and your lips part slightly as you suck in a breath. he wants to kiss you so bad, to get rid of the centimeters of space between you and just press his mouth to yours.

“and you’re stoned.” you smile a bit and look away, trying to play it off.

“but i’m serious.” he doubles down, and you glance at him once more with those fucking bambi eyes.

you shake your head and place your hand on his thigh. “i promise you’re not.”

it ignites a fire in his stomach, one that won’t die down. he wants to move his hips, to feel some sort of friction against your palm. but he holds still, even despite how much he needs you.

“you don't know me.” matt hears his words slur together slightly as he speaks.

“i definitely do.” you argue.

“fine, but you can’t possibly guess what’s going on in my head.”

matt’s still not sure where any of this is coming from, or why he’s saying it to you now, but the word vomit won’t stop.

you shrug, squeezing his thigh lightly. he shifts a little bit, trying not to get too worked up over the pressure.

“i guess that’s true. so what are you thinking?”

matt glances up front at his brother and his best friend, and he knows neither of them are paying attention to the two of you. they’re too busy singing piña colada by yung pinch to care.

he hears you hum a little bit of the chorus under your breath as you wait for his response.

“i’m thinking about you.” he finally admits, leaning over so he can say it directly into your ear.

he can smell your rose shampoo, the fading hints of flowery perfume on your skin. it’s intoxicating, being near you like this.

you move your hand off his leg to shove his chest playfully. “shut up.”

the city blurs by as nate continues to drive, and matt admires the way the light from the street lamps dance across your face.

“why don’t you believe me?” he mumbles, barely audible over the combination of the breeze and the music.

“because you’re high as a kite, i can see it written all over your face.”

“doesn’t mean i’m lying.”

you study his face like you’re trying to find the truth in it. he can’t help but grin, because you’re so fucking clueless, and it makes you smile right back.

“touché.”

[twstfanblog]

!*~Valentine's Times~*! pt 1

A/N: This Valentine's Day fic got so fucking big I had to break it up into parts. So I decided to also post them leading up to Valentine's day! Another thank you to @bun-lapin for allowing me to use their lovely OCs! At this point I've just become their foster mother XD Word Count: 5.2K Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC Pairings: Paternal Crewel & Yuu, Grandpa Trein & Yuu L (Here). O (Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle). V (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia). E (Crack)

L is for the way you look at me...

The thought had luckily hit them mid-way through January. After confirming with Crewel that Valentine’s Day was still very much a holiday in Twisted Wonderland, Yuu realized they had a large number of chocolates they wanted to give out. Not even counting their boyfriends’ families, they had made a number of friends and pseudo-family members in this new world that deserved to be shown love and appreciation. So, Yuu had to think up and create or buy over thirty gifts. And that’s only people on the school campus; they knew they wanted to send chocolates to their boyfriend's family members, as a thank you for being so nice to them. Sadly, they were very aware they were not going to get that much money out of Crowley, no matter how they worded their nonexistent blackmail. So they sat in their kitchen, fingernails tapping against the island counter as they thought about how to make their plan come to fruition. 

Then the idea struck. Alone the task was basically impossible with their schedule normally filled by their loved ones and their bullshit. But, with help, it was very possible.

They quickly jogged to the window leading to the backyard of Ramshackle. Opening it and sticking their head out they gleefully sang, “Oh fairies~!? I have a deal to make with you~!” Then they stepped back, crossing their arms and waiting as the sound of flapping wings grew louder and louder.

Soon a burst of fairies all flew into the kitchen, the small doll-sized beings finding places to sit as they looked at them in curiosity. Yuu never thought their old habit of leaving bowls of milk out for strays would result in having pull with the sizable fairy population that lived on the Night Raven campus. But they weren't complaining. The fairies were cute and more than willing to do minor repairs and upkeep of Ramshackle for cubes of sugar or meat. Once they were all seated and quiet, Yuu spoke.

“Hello, my dear Fairy Folk. I have an offer to give today that I hope you will take. The day of love is coming up in a few weeks and I would adore it if you'd all help me craft my treats for my larger loved ones.”

The fairies all turned to each other, whispering to themselves with tinkling tones and excited wing flutters. Soon, one lone familiar fairy flew up and landed on Yuu's waiting hand, “Yes, Timothy? Your demands?”

Timothy was a ‘Tinkering Fairy’. Yuu had met him first of all the fairies that came to Ramshackle for milk and treats. The tiny male trying to open and fix the bird feeder after Yuu had improperly filled it, leaving it to be jammed and useless. Timothy was also more than willing to try his hand at fixing anything that broke in Ramshackle. A service he would create himself if Yuu didn't give him something to do frequently enough.

The tinker fairy chimed out, hands moving in wide arcs before looking at Yuu with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms. The fairies were well aware Yuu couldn't understand them, but since they wore their emotions so openly Yuu had no issue determining if they were upset with them or not.

Yuu hummed, their free hand reaching up to tap at their chin in mock thought, “I'm guessing you want to know what your payment would be?” She smiles at Timothy's excited chiming, “Well, I'm not gonna ask you guys to work for free. I'm going to be buying a lot of sugar, fruit, and chocolate to get a discount from Sam. Anything left over from the gift-making will be for you guys to take.”

Another wave of excited chiming comes from the crowd, many of them already nodding their heads in agreement. But Timothy tapped his foot, arms crossed with an annoyingly cute pout on his lips.

Yuu rolled their eyes but still smiled, using a hand to poke at Timothy's chest, “And~ everyone who helps is guaranteed a kiss.” Was it underhanded to use the tiny fairy's unrequited crush against him? Yes, very so. Was it a surefire way to get him to agree and subsequently gather up every other fairy in the woods to help? Also yes.

But, luckily, Timothy took the bait, beaming and having his wings flutter so hard he nearly took off from their palm.

“We got a deal then?” Yuu holds out their pinky, letting Timothy grip it with both his hands as they shook on it.

It took time to get the seemingly metric tons of chocolates delivered. Not to mention testing out fillings and last-minute ordering luster dust and various colored chocolate pearls. Plus convincing Crewel to teach them how to make the molds he uses in his alchemy lollipop lesson to make sure they had every shape needed. But by nearly 11pm on February 13th, Yuu and the fairy entourage had completed every last bag of chocolate. Yuu had bagged up their respective groups of treats in clear plastic bags and colorful ribbons. Ribbons that were being re-tied by a flora fairy wearing a scrap of Pomefiore printed fabric as a stylish wrap skirt. The fairy re-tying the ribbons into more fanciful knots and bows with a critical eye.

“Thank you, Tulip. Vil is gonna love these bows.” Yuu smiles as the fairy's wings flutter in happiness. Giving their chocolates one last look over and a glance at the clock, Yuu claps their hands to gain the gathering's attention, “Alright everybody! That's a wrap. Time to discuss payment.”

The fairies stood at attention, none more eager than Timothy.

“As promised, the remaining chocolates, cream, and fruit are yours to take back into the hollow with you.” Yuu watched as a number of fairies quickly gathered up the remaining blocks of chocolate, using their combined strength to lift the pounds up and out of the kitchen. Several other fairies grabbed the containers of cream and fruits to do the same.

Soon there were no fairies left in the kitchen, “Oh, fuck wait. Their kisses…” a chime brings Yuu's attention to the island. Timothy standing alone and smiling brightly up at them, “Oh, of course you'd want your kiss more than anyone.” With a fond smile and a shake of their head they say, “Close your eyes.”

Timothy closes his eyes, wings nearly vibrating from his excitement. A kiss! From the pixie of his dreams, nothing could-

A sudden weight against his chest makes him open his eyes. A drop wrapped in shiny aluminum with a paper tail sticking out of the top was placed in his arms. He blinks, looking at Yuu in confusion as they lean on the counter with a mischievous smile.

“There you are. A kiss.”

…

Yuu laughs as Timothy starts to rage, his tiny body almost turning completely red as he throws the chocolate drop on the counter. Stomping around until he just sat down, arms crossed and legs splayed out. A frustrated pout on his face.

“Come on! It's a kiss, just as I promised.” Yuu was sure they had gained favor with the fairies because they enjoyed playing tricks just as much as the smaller fae did. But as Timothy's wings slowly started to droop in actual sadness, Yuu coos. Leaning more on the island to try and catch a glimpse of the fairy's face, “Aw…don't be mad Timmy. A chocolate kiss isn't so bad right?”

The tinker actually shuffled himself to angle away from Yuu, feet kicking in mild anger before going still again.

Yuu rolls her eyes, smiling at Timothy before snapping her fingers to gain the fairy's attention. Once the pouting fae looked over his shoulder at her, she held up her pointer finger. Making sure Timothy saw Yuu kiss the point of her finger before bringing it to tap against his cheek, “Mwah.”

It took the fairy a few moments to realize what she had done. But when he did, his whole body flushed red, a wide smile stretching his face as his wings fluttered so hard Yuu was certain she heard them buzzing. She laughs, cupping her hand under Timothy just in case he fell, “I'm glad you're happy with your kiss,” using her other hand to pluck the forgotten chocolate from the counter, placing it into his arms again, “Now go party with your friends before they eat all the fruit.”

Timothy nods, blush fading to just his cheeks. He flies to the window, only to pause and quickly turn around. Yuu blinked, realizing the small fairy had zipped closer to place a tiny kiss on her cheek before flying away into the night.

Yuu chuckles, tapping her own cheek in amusement before closing the window and exiting the kitchen. It was late and Yuu had a very busy day in the morning.

Yuu huffed, walking down the path to Sam's shop with Grim pouting beside them. Both were dressed in more fanciful attire for the holiday. Grim in an elaborate layering of red, white, and black ribbons tied to give him a massive bow. Yuu was in a gray overall dress, bright red tights with black imprints of hearts patterning them. A loose, white long sleeve and platform white ankle boots. The outfit accessorized with their hair tied back in a half updo by a red ribbon and a red heart-shaped pendant around their neck. A large black tote bag with heart patterned argyle thumping against their side.

“Stop pouting, people are gonna think I hit you.” Yuu looked to their side, raising an eyebrow at Grim's atomic pout and tear-filled eyes.

The dire beast looks up at them, expression still on the verge of tears yet angry, “You didn't make me any chocolates! You didn't even let me have any of the gummies you left out for the fairies! They already got a bunch of stuff, this isn't fair at all!” Grim took a moment to stomp his foot, even trying to breathe fire at the tote bag slung over Yuu's shoulder.

They manage to step out of the way, glaring down at Grim, “Ay! Enough! You'll get something good from Sam's if you stop being a little bastard.”

“No! I will continue to be a little bastard because you don't love me!”

“Oh my seven, you are a toddler.” Yuu shakes their head, opening the door and pushing a stubborn Grim into the shop with their foot, “Sam! I'm here for my things!”

The shadow clerk seemed to rise from behind his front counter, as though he was just crouched and waiting for someone to come in, “Lil pup! Perfect timing, my friends and I just finished wrapping up your orders.” He reached behind the counter, pulling out five small but decorated bags, “And my friends have also placed your package in your room as paid for by discreet delivery fees. Anything else I can do ya for?”

Yuu peeked as much as they could into the bags without ruining Sam's carefully placed tissue paper and ribbon decorations. Smiling at each gift Yuu nods, “Just one thing, Sam” They point below them, calling the shopkeeper’s attention to the pouting lump on the floor, “Can you watch this pathetic creature for me? Just for a bit.”

Sam couldn't help but snicker, “Aw…what's wrong kitty cat? Tuna can go bad?”

Grim looks up at Sam, face pulled as though he smelled something sour, “Yuu doesn't love me…”

“Aw~.”

Yuu rolls her eyes, grabbing the black and blue striped bag from the counter before holding it out in front of Grim's pouting figure.

The dire beast looks at the bag in interest, snatching it away from Yuu and ignoring their remark of ‘rude’. Grim opened the bag with excitement only to pout at seeing a black square of fabric, “What am I supposed to do with this!?”

“Oh, Grim. You dumbass.” Yuu kneels down, reaching into the bag and pulling out a simple wallet. They take the time to show the back, smiling as Grim's eyes glitter at the laminated school logo and gold lettering of ‘Night Raven Student’. Yuu clips the wallet to one side of Grim's collar, showing him how the clip was on a retractable line.

“...Okay. This is kinda cool. But it still isn't as good as chocolate…”

Sam hums from above them, leaning over the counter to witness their exchange, “I don't know kitty cat. I think you got a pretty sweet gift.”

“Grim, with this wallet I give you the gift of your own debit card.” Yuu gestures around them, “With it, you may purchase whatever food you want without my permission. Idia agreed to sponsor your bank account so I know you've got money on that thing.”

Grim's expression went from confused to shocked then excited. He fumbled with the wallet, paws managing to see the front of the wallet was actually clear plastic, showing the simple black card with his name spelled out in blocky neon blue letters. Yuu bought him snacks, sure. But they were also always eating them just as much as he was, claiming it was the ‘purchase tax’ since they bought them. But…if he bought the snacks himself…

“Y-ya mean it!? I can buy any kinda snack I want!?”

“Yep.”

“And you can't steal any of it!?”

“Nooope.” They pop their lips on the ending ‘P’. Reaching forward to pet Grim's head lovingly, leaning to place a kiss on his forehead, “Happy Valentine’s Day, lil guy.”

Grim jumps for joy, spinning in a circle before speeding off into Sam's shop. His echoing call of ‘Thank you’ fading the deeper he went into the store.

“...Hey, Sam, how big is this place?”

“So what else are you doing today lil pup?” Sam asked, eyes clearly telling Yuu to stop questioning the physics of his store.

They roll their eyes, grabbing the other four gift bags and carefully placing them in their tote bag, “Well, I'm going to deliver festive Valentine's treats to my favorite people on campus.”

“Oh?” Sam perks up, a hand held out as though to receive a gift.

…

Yuu continues to smile at Sam's confused expression, tilting their head in question when he frowned, “Something wrong Sam?”

“That's cold, lil pup. After all those gummies I legally don't sell you.” The man curls his lip at them, waving them away as he walks from behind the counter, “Get out of my store. I got no place for solicitors in here.”

Yuu laughs, waving as Sam walked deeper into the store, possibly to keep Grim from making too big a mess, “Bye Sam! Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Once Sam's grumbling figure was out of view, Yuu looked along the ground before hissing out a whisper at a passing shadow, “Hey. Hey. Come here…”

The inky blob blinks up to them with glowing purple eyes, the image of curiosity. Yuu pulls a baggie from their tote. A clear plastic bag with a bright purple ribbon tying it shut, the bag was filled with a mixture of dark, milk, and white chocolate shapes of bones, skulls, and ghosts. Scattered throughout the bag were varying sizes of black and purple chocolate pearls.

Yuu hands the baggie to the shadow, “Throw this at the back of Sam's head as hard as you can.”

The shadow's expression turned wicked, a tendril of black reaching from the floor and engulfing the bag before the being zooms away. Yuu giggles, rushing out of the shop just as Sam yells in pain.

Sam glares at the snickering shadows at his feet, “What the hell…what'd ya even throw at me…?” He looks over the bag, a smile slowly breaking across his face as he realizes where the bag of chocolate came from, “Aw…” Sam throws the bag into the air, catching it with one hand before tucking it into his apron, “I'm gonna charge them double next time they come in…”

The teacher’s housing building acted as a dorm on campus, though most would find it felt more like a mini hotel. Complete with an elegant sitting area the faculty met in often, either to plan outings or simply complain about the many problem students of Night Raven.

Hui-Yan shrugs, swirling her mug of black coffee before speaking, “I just think it's coddling them. You're entitled to your own option, that's simply how I feel about it.”

Ingrid hummed, pulling her own cream and sugar-filled coffee away from her lips, “No, I understand. I'm asking why you think the children having access to an infirmary is coddling them?”

From his armchair, Trein sighs. Placing Lucious's brush to the side as he spoke aloud, “We should teach them basic first aid…”

Vargas nearly overfills his mug of coffee, only saving himself from burning his hand as Iomhar tilted the pot back, “Wait. Do we not teach them first aid?”

Crewel sighs, lazily typing on his phone with one hand and the other pouring a splash of rum from his flask into his mug, “No…we should though…”

Iomhar nods solemnly, taking the pot from Vargas, “They have been almost dying a lot this year…”

Ingrid leaned forward, eyes trained on Hui-Yan even though the other woman clearly looked done with their short conversation, “Oh~. This a fragmented hint at your tragic past?”

Edric doesn't look up from his holographic screen, tapping away as he sipped his smoothie, “The cases of near-death experiences are up by 72% from last year.”

Trein sputters, eyes widening at Edric's calculations, “72%!?”

Crewel placed his phone down, finally thinking back to all the explosions he'd had in his potions classes that year, “Oh Seven, please tell me it isn't that high because of me.”

Ingrid smiled at Hui-Yan's blank, mildly annoyed stare, “Let me guess. You were…injured during your super lethal swordswoman training-”

“Surprisingly, no, Crewel. Though your classes are a main contributor to the yearly burn injury percentage.”

Trein huffs, glaring down his nose at Crewel, “Honestly, all these years and still so irresponsible…”

“-but, when the doctor entered, you knew it was a trap-”

Crewel mimics Trein under his breath before speaking louder, “All these years and you're still on my ass, old man.”

Vargas hummed from his cup of coffee, nudging Edric lightly, “Well, what's causing it?”

“Unsurprisingly, the thing that Crowley's been black boxing on all our official reports since the beginning of the year.”

Vargas hums again, louder and with a more strained look on his face, “...That's been happening a lot this year now that I think about it.”

Trein scratches at Lucious' ear, eyebrows furrowed in thought, “At a seemingly increasing rate too…”

“-So as your lover lay dying in your arms you swore to never enter an infirmary again!”

“Ingrid, darling?” Crewel smiled sweetly, though he was slowly growing just as annoyed as Hui-Yan's schooled features hid, “Can you focus on the real conversation for forty seconds?”

Edric hums, raising an eyebrow at his screen, “Speaking of Yuu, she's entered the building.”

“They've what-”

The doors to the sitting area suddenly burst open, Yuu stood in the entryway with a wide smile, “Hi~!”

Hui-Yan groans under her breath, mumbling into her mug of coffee, “Oh no…”

Yuu pouts, walking farther into the room to place their bag on the dining table, “I've done nothing to you…”

“I don't trust you, child.”

“Well, I guess I can take my delightful gifts and just fuck off then, huh?”

Ingrid quickly stood up, smiling with her eyes glittering as she crowded against Yuu, “Gifts? For me? Your favorite teacher!?”

Crewel clicks his tongue, sneering at Ingrid, “Oh, like you'd be my puppy's favorite…”

Before the two could start bickering, Yuu started pulling out the gift bags and clear ribbon-tied packages and handing them to the respective teachers.

“For you Ms. Oster.” A plaid and golden-trimmed gift bag was placed in her waiting hands. Yuu smiled as the teacher pulled out a small store-bought heart-shaped box of fancy chocolates and a jeweled bracelet, “I thought you could vague text photos to your sisters and have them think you're dating someone-”

“-Then I could act nonchalant but clearly flustered! Oh, that's perfect!” Ingrid quickly clicked the bracelet onto her wrist, rushing off to the corner to take photos of the chocolate and her bejeweled wrist.

Yuu turns to Hui-Yan, rolling her eyes as the woman squints at her, “Literally, I have never done anything to you.”

“I’ve heard enough of what you’ve done. I also don’t like sweets nor accept jewelry. You have nothing civil to offer me.”

Yuu holds up a clear bag tied closed with an ornate black ribbon, four skewers of Tanghulu inside. Each skewer held three large green grapes, with various fruits adding more color and variety. Slices of pineapple and kiwi cut into star and heart shapes.

Hui-Yan stared at the bag in Yuu’s hand, eyes seemingly trying to burn a hole through the plastic and remelt the sugar. She sighs, holding her hand out and letting Yuu cheer and smack the treat into her grasp. She makes quick work of opening the bag to bite off one of the fruits, chewing lightly before she mumbles out, “The shell is too thick.”

Yuu was in the process of handing Edric his bag, only to turn and harshly whisper to Hui-Yan, “Experience happiness for just…40 seconds, okay?” Instead of placing the white and red pixel-patterned bag into Edric’s waiting hands, they swing the bag into a high arch to smack lightly against Edric’s blank face.

“...” The Ignihyde advisor doesn’t respond, undoing the black ribbon and looking into the bag. The only emotion shown on his face was his one visible eyebrow raising in surprise, a hand pulling out several USBs designed to look like mini candy bars, “Oh…I didn’t have a Chuckles* one of these…” He pockets that singular USB, placing the other’s back in the bag and muttering under his breath, “Satisfying.”

Iomhar sat up straighter when Yuu turned to him, “Ok…I wasn’t sure what the hell to get you. But, I know you like bears…So I made these.” Yuu holds out the bag tied with an orange ribbon, small graham crackers shaped like bears with chocolate piped faces and milk chocolate shaped like axes inside, “Do you like them?”

“...” Iomhar smiles, taking the bag and holding it close to his chest as he gave a simple nod in thanks.

“Fuck yes.” Yuu briefly pumps their fist, high-fiving themself as congratulations on a job well done. Turning to Vargas they open their mouth only to have the buff man hold up a hand to silence them.

“No need, Ramshackle. I don’t eat chocolate; too many empty calories.”

“Yeah, I assumed you would say that. So I got you this, you weird man.” They reach into their tote bag, pulling out a large container of chocolate-flavored protein powder with a combo of red and yellow bows wrapped around it.

“Ooooo, this is a good brand…” Vargas takes the container, smiling and nodding in approval as he read over the ingredients and serving sizes.

Yuu then turns to Crewel, the two of them giving each other small smiles, “Papa Dog.”

“Puppy.”

In sync, they hand each other black and white patterned bags; Yuu handing Crewel a bag with bright red ribbon straps, edged with red lace and filled with black and white tissue paper while Crewel hands over a black and white bag with gold trimming and filled with teal tissue paper. He opens his gift, pulling out two chunks of bone that seemed to be freshly removed from an animal.

The other teachers all look at the bones in concern, Vargas lightly leaning away from Yuu, “Ramshackle, who’d you rip those out of!?”

Crewel coos, smiling as he gave the bones a once over before putting them back, “Beef bones for Chenille and Muslin*! They’ll love them, puppy.”

Yuu opens their own bag, gasping as they pull out a black leather, spiked collar. The spikes twisted engraved bulbs and swirling designs stamped into the leather, “Yes! You got me the Mad Dog choker!” They quickly unclasp their heart pendant necklace, wrapping the chain around the collar to have the heart act as a tag. Reclasping the necklace and then clicking the collar closed with a giddy smile, “Thank you!”

Crewel accepts their hug, humming before letting Yuu pull away, “Well, you weren't subtle in the least about wanting it. I'd have to be blind and deaf to not see all the hints you were dropping.”

“I will apologize for gluing the ad for it to the rearview window of your car…” Yuu hands over a clear bag. Tied closed with black, red, and white ribbons and filled with bone-shaped chocolates. Crewel raises an eyebrow at the red luster dusted lumps throughout the bag, “Those are chocolate-dipped raisins. Since honestly, raisin butter is fucking gross and I wasn't gonna try to taste test chocolate with it.”

Crewel pulls Yuu into another hug, gently petting their head, “Thank you, puppy. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Valentine's Day, Papa Dog.”

Trein looks up in surprise when Yuu steps in front of him. He pets Lucious, raising an eyebrow in question, “Yes, Yuu?”

They smile, holding out a clear baggie with what he assumed to be truffles delicately shaped to resemble cats with red and purple colored chocolate pearls inside, “For my favorite teacher.”

Trien could only smile as he accepted the chocolates, ignoring the others exploding at the fact he was Yuu's favorite.

“I am literally your father, you little-”

“Wait, what!? I was texting my sister, who's the favorite?”

“Come on, Ramshackle! I thought you loved my class!”

“I mean, I don't like you, so…”

“I taught you how to snap a bone with only a strike. How am I not your favorite…?”

Edric looked up from his screen, eyeing Iomhar with a level of intensity as though the taller man had personally slighted him, “Why would you teach them that…?”

“...”

Yuu held the last gift bag up, matte burgundy with a purple ribbon keeping it tied close, “And a gift for the lovely Lucious…” Reaching inside, Yuu pulled out a fancy silver bowl on rococo-styled legs to give it height.

Trien takes the cat bowl with a smile, bringing it closer to Lucious to smell the object, “How thoughtful of you. This is a wonderful present…” He reaches into his breast pocket, pulling out a card and handing it to Yuu, “A gift as well. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.”

Reading the card, Yuu's eyes widened, rereading it a few times before they let out a scream and jumped up and down out of joy, “REALLY!? REALLY, REALLY!?”

“While it's not the physical copies, I was sure you'd still like a copy.” Trein had gifted Yuu their own digital copy of one, if not the, largest collection of historical facts of Twisted Wonderland. It was a multi-volume series that was basically a staple of every historical educator's must-read list. So while Trein would have loved to gift the budding historian the whole physical set, a digital copy would be much easier to handle at the moment.

Yuu squeals, spinning around before throwing their arms around Trein's neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you, grandpa!” They pulled away, hands clasped tightly against the card as they ran out of the room, no doubt to quickly redeem their book at the nearest computer.

Trein sat in his chair, smiling with just an air of smugness as he stroked a purring Lucious, “I'm the favorite.”

Crewel huffed, harshly chewing on a chocolate bone, “Oh, fuck you, old man…”

Crowley sat in his office, sighing as he looked over his pile of paperwork. He'd normally slip the forms into his coworkers' own workloads and simply collect them later. But they were all very firm on not doing any work during holidays, even if they were minor reports or the expense balancing he had put off to the last minute. He huffs, shuffling the papers around. Honestly, he was the Headmage, how could not only his subordinates but also his students bully him into making minor holidays free days?

He perks up hearing the door click open, “Hello?”

Yuu stood in the doorway, frowning in disdain before they closed the door behind them and walked closer. They stop at his desk, looking at him as though he was some great annoyance they weren't allowed to rid themselves of.

“...”

“...”

“Do you need something-”

“You are literally the worst type of educator I have ever met.”

“AH- Excuse you!?”

Yuu kept going, as though his outburst wasn't even registered, “You're lazy, irresponsible, a hypocrite, deeply suspicious, kinda ugly-”

Crowley clasped his hands, breathing in through his nose as he closed his eyes. They'd…run out of hurtful words at some point…he's sure of it. He tries to hide it but could only pout at seeing Yuu had started counting on their fingers all of his supposed ‘negative’ traits.

“-terrible at dealing with your students, the other teachers don't even respect you, you do so many shitty things openly it's almost hard not to blackmail you, you haven't replaced the damn computers in the library even though they are probably as old as you, and also, I don't think you know what the word ‘kind’ means…”

“...” Crowley huffs, snatching his papers off his desk to bring them closer to his face, “Well, if you're quite finished! I have work to do, since you seem to think I'm so lazy!”

Yuu stares at him, a hand on their hip as they rolled their eyes at Crowley's tantrum, “But…” they sigh as Crowley peaks untrusting eyes over his stack of papers, “I…care about you.” They reach into their tote and pull out a plastic bag tied closed with royal blue and black ribbons, holding it like a wet towel with two fingers. Gold luster dusted feather-shaped dark chocolates with pearls of dark blue scattered inside.

Crowley looks at the chocolates in shock before he exclaims in happiness. He snatches them from Yuu's loose grasp and coos, “Oh! My thoughtful beneficiary, what a lovely surprise! I knew you wouldn't forget to gift your caring, supportive, kind patron this holiday!” he stands, ignoring Yuu annoyingly shying away as he gathers them up into a hug.

“Ugh. Stop endearing yourself to me with your sad, wet rat display…” They still hug Crowley back with a small smile, “They're filled with coconut cream. Happy Valentine’s Day, Crowley. Now get off of me, I got places to be.” 

“Yes. I suppose you do. Have a wonderful day my dear, Happy Valentine's Day!” They exchange waves, Yuu slamming the door shut behind them much to his displeasure. But, he couldn't keep the smile off his face for long.

He opens his bag of chocolate, humming in anticipation as he pulled a chocolate feather from the bag. Chewing it, fully expecting the smooth sweet taste of coconut and chocolate, only to screech and spit the chocolate out. He fanned his mouth, panting as the burning spice stuck to every corner of his mouth. Why was it so spicy!?

Reaching into the bag he snapped another chocolate open, raising an eyebrow in confusion as the inside showed a fluffy white mixture. Snapping yet another chocolate, he sat back in his chair, glaring at the ceiling. Just how many of these chocolates had they filled with this red hot paste instead of the promised coconut?

Honestly…such a troublesome ward he had…

Twisted Snickers. I'm funny please laugh.

I gave and named two dogs for Crewel. They are named after types of fabric because he would honestly...

[dolcettamagica]

𐙚˙⋆.˚ 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ch.2

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴: 𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯, 𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴: 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘥𝘯𝘪, 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘤: 1.9𝘬

“Heh”, you could feel his grin. Rick bent down and leaned in closer, bridging the scant distance that separated your lips. With each breath, the air became thick with tension, your heartbeat echoing in the silence. His proximity sent more shivers down your spine, his presence enveloping you in a whirlwind of sensations. In that intimate moment, time seemed to stand still. “You act all-all strong and br-bratty but you’re actually pretty fucking shy. Want Mr. Sanchez to make you blush-blush some more?”

Awkward silence fell upon the room. Everyone set at the dinner table as soon as Beth was home from work. Even Rick showed up – burping and drunk as usual.

“O my God, I’ll start talking then. You guys are like so weird”, Summer exclaimed, typing on her phone, “So, y/n, Grandpa Rick, what’s up?”

“She-She is some girl who was teleported by a version of me. Fucking i-idiot barely knows anything about herself.” Rick sounded pissed, him not getting any information out of you was more than just annoying to him – it was a failure. Grunting he pulled out his flask, taking a sip of his drink, “Wanna add anything, sweetheart?” 

Childish. Why was he provoking you the whole time? “Not really. I know my name, my age and being a studying psychology at college. That’s about it. I don’t remember my family, my home, or my life before I ended up in your house. I’m really sorry for the trouble I’ve caused, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Sheepishly you looked at Beth and Jerry. 

A sigh fell from Beth’s lips before she smiled at you kindly. “Don’t worry, y/n. We’ve been through worse. You don’t seem to be a bad kid. I’m sorry that one of my dad’s did this.” 

Jerry was just happy to be acknowledged and poured you some wine into your glass. “Summer told me you’re 21, drink up. I’m a pretty cool dad, you know?” With lips curved upwards you thanked him for the drink. What would ease your nervousness better than red wine? Maybe only Rick is a fucking bastard.

“You should sleep here until we know more about you, y/n. After all it really is our – more like dad’s – fault that you’re here. You’re a college student, right? You could help Morty and Summer with their homework and clean around the house to compensate, if you want”, Beth’s smile was warm and welcoming. No way is this woman really Rick’s daughter.

“We could become best friends, y/n! You’re sooo pretty and you stand your ground against Grandpa. You’re like literally perfect to chill with.”

Morty said nothing, he simply stared at you with an opened mouth and big eyes. “Yeah…yeah…homework with y/n”, he suddenly mumbled under his breath which caused Rick to call him a “fucking perverted idiot” and Summer joining in by insulting Morty as weird and disgusting. 

“I mean, I can’t really reject your offer, can I? Helping the kids with their homework and doing some cleaning really isn’t a big deal. I will also be looking for a job. I really can’t thank you guys enough for your kindness.”

The family started to discuss where you should sleep. Summer’s or Morty’s room were out of question – it was too uncomfortable for you, sleeping in a room with a minor as an adult. Beth was the one who declined you using the couch – a young woman should have a little bit of privacy. What was left? Rick’s room.

“Absolute no-no fucking way. I’m not going to share my bed with that girl and nooo fucking way in h-hell am I going to give my bed up complete. You guys are nuts.” Everyone grunted in disapproval, of course Rick would be the next problem (again). Acting like he wasn’t in the garage or in space most of the time anyway.

“Please give me the garage then. I only need it to sleep. I bet you have a mattress stored somewhere, Mr. Sanchez. After all you are the smartest man alive, aren’t you?” His tone and attitude irritated you and you despised that man, but you wanted to show Beth and Jerry your best side. So, you were as polite as you could be.

Rick simply blinked, his eyebrows high enough to almost reach his hairline. Mr. Sanchez, damn, it sounded good. “If you touch my fucking stuff I-I’ll send you to some other fucking universe, got-got it? Jesus. You guys are annoying. I can’t deal with this shit today.” Slamming his hands on the table he stood up and left, walking towards the couch. “I’m watching interdimensional cable now so aaaall of you: shut the fuck u-up.” And with that he sat down and turned the TV on.

“Settled then! Come on, girl, let’s go to my room!”, before you could even reply, Summer grabbed your hand and forced you upstairs.

“Thanks for letting me shower and lending me your clothes, Summer.” Your hair was still slightly wet as you scanned yourself in the mirror. Summer lent you black flared yoga pants and a white tank top, along with cute slippers, she even gave you a toothbrush and showed you her collection of various bodywash products with different scents. Her room was small but cute with pink walls – you liked it.

During the shower you tried to sort your thoughts, taking in this strange situation, and replaying the day in your head. No normal person would believe you. Even you could barely believe it. Did you even know yourself? Sighing you sat down next to the redhead on her bed.

“Girl, not to sound like some creep or anything but your ass looks good as fuck”. Jokingly you slapped Summer’s arm. You two didn’t need a lot of time to bond. It felt like you knew her for a long time, familiar yet unfamiliar. “I know Grandpa is kinda mean to you but he’s like that to everyone. He got some issues but like he isn’t that bad. You just have to get used to him.”

You did nothing more than hum and threw your head back to stare at the ceiling. Rick wasn’t a normal grandpa, you figured that much. He was mean, disrespectful, loud, rude, selfish, and so on. Maybe Summer was right, maybe you just needed to get used to his behavior. If you wanted to survive in this house, you should at least try to tolerate Rick. He was obviously the man of the house and even if everyone complained about him, everyone loved him to hell and back. “I’ll try, Summer. Enough about that. It’s late and you have school tomorrow, right? I’ll be going now. Sweet dreams.”

Right before you left her room you heard Summer whisper a small “Good Night”. It could be that it was the student in you, but you sensed her being lonely under her big girl façade. Beth had Jerry and Rick had Morty, Summer was the odd one out. Don’t worry, Summer, we’ll totally be best friends. You closed the door behind you and tiptoed your way into the garage – Summer told you a lot about the house and the family while you were with her. She also warned you to never go into Morty’s room without knocking, that Jerry’s unemployed and cracked lame dad jokes and that Beth was extremely dependent on Rick.

Your hopes of simply laying down and going to sleep were crushed as soon as you opened the door to the garage. Instead of being met with beautiful silence Rick decided to make something clear. In a moment charged with tension, Rick pressed you against the door with a fervor that electrified the air around you. His hand firmly planted on the surface beside you, creating an intimate enclosure, trapping you. With an intensity in his gaze, he stared into your eyes. You, taken aback by the sudden closeness, felt your heart race in response to Rick’s boldness, your breath catching in the space between you. “What do you think you- “

“L-listen to me, you little shit-shit”, Rick interrupted you, “This whole thing doesn’t s-sit right with me. I don’t fucking trust you. If I think-think you’re better dead I’ll fuck-fucking k-kill you, understand?” He stuttered more than usual, he also smelled even more like alcohol than before. His voice was quiet yet stern and dominant. You couldn’t take the pressure anymore and averted your gaze. 

“Step away from me, you’re way too close.”

“Heh”, you could feel his grin. Rick bent down and leaned in closer, bridging the scant distance that separated your lips. With each breath, the air became thick with tension, your heartbeat echoing in the silence. His proximity sent more shivers down your spine, his presence enveloping you in a whirlwind of sensations. In that intimate moment, time seemed to stand still. “You act all-all strong and br-bratty but you’re actually pretty fucking shy. Want Mr. Sanchez to make you blush-blush some more?”

Feeling overwhelmed by the sudden intensity of the moment, you instinctively pushed against his chest forcefully. Your heart raced with a mixture of excitement and apprehension, your mind struggling to process the whirlwind of emotions coursing through you. “Stop provoking me! I’m just not used to people being so close to me, that’s it.”

“Back to being bratty, I s-see”, he turned around and pointed at a bed next to his workbench, “You-you gonna sleep on here buuut not yet! We gon have some fun, y/n. You and me. Y/n and Rick. I-I saw you dri-drinking that red wine, I got better shit!” Only now did you notice bottles in various shapes and colors on his desk.

“You can’t be serious…You literally just threatened me and now you want to drink?”, confusion was written all over your still red face. 

“Do-Don’t be a pussy, y/n! Finally got s-someone old enough in-in this house. Do you realize how fucking-fucking boring earth-shit actually is?! Th-this will send you in-into another dimension, y/n! You will never drink boring ass wi-wine again, y/n! I even have some space weed!” His speech was rapid-fire.

Ah, fuck it. He already had you at the mention of weed. The day has been crazy and all over the place, getting wasted with Rick wouldn’t make a difference. Besides trying weed and alcohol from outer space does sound nice, you were intrigued. “Okay, okay, stop yelling”, a small smile formed on your lips as you walked over to his desk, stopping next to him. A cool pink bottle stood as a beacon of elegance and sophistication, its sleek curves catching the light in a mesmerizing dance of iridescence. Crafted from smooth, translucent glass, it seemed to radiate a soft, ethereal glow from within, casting a delicate hue of pink that enchanted the eye. “I want to try this first, can we?”

“Even now you-you ended up choosing the w-wine…kinda. Sorry to bu-burst your bubble, little girl. We’re gonna dr-drink how I want it and that sh-shit is for something very, very special. You-you couldn’t handle it. Trust-trust me. Or do you want t-to me to get reeaal close to you, huh? Have s-some different kind of fu-fun, princess?” Even though his words were a warning it came across as something different due to the tone of his voice. His tone was low and husky, weaving a seductive melody that wrapped around you like a silk ribbon. With each whispered syllable, he exuded an aura of confidence and charm, his words dripping with innuendo and suggestion. Oh, I think I got it.

“Never mind. What’s your plan then, Rick?”

“Getting absolutely waaasted, y/n! And don’t-don’t you dare tap out! We’re-we’re gonna talk about a lot of shit, y/n. I’m going to-going to let you try every fucking o-one of my favorite drinks, y/n! And then-then we’ll get high on fucking space weed! Just you and me, y/n. We’re gonna find out why you’re h-here, y/n! I’m gonna win against that fu-fucking Rick, y/n! Now, first-first bottle: Stardust Elixir from planet Xylophor!”

This was going to be a long night.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Older!Horror Villains x Younger!Reader || Reactions

Reacting to: Someone at the store thinking that they're your grandparent- rather then your S/O. (Just something funny I was considering for Inkubus but decided to just do for all of them ^^ XD 😅)

Characters Included: The gilfs of the fandom 😅 ? I'm thinking 50 years and above. Captain Spaulding, Drayton Sawyer, Granny Boone, Inkubus, Jedidiah Sawyer, Luda Mae Hewitt, Mayor Buckman, Mental Manny / Manual Dyer, Peepaw Michael Myers, Norman Nordstrom, Otis B. Driftwood, Pamela Voorhees, Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt Jr, Stuart Lloyd, the Taxidermist / Walter Harris and Winslow Foxworth Coltrane.

Warnings: Major age difference, bad language, sexual references, a really awkward misunderstanding...

Captain Spaulding: Spaulding's a pretty good sport about it XD In fact, he kinda enjoys it. Cuz then he gets to rub it in the persons face what a young, hot thing he's got going here with you and what- what did you say you had again?? Nothin'?? Yeahh, that's what I thought. Fuck right off, why dontcha?

Drayton Sawyer: Drayton goes so red and is about to blow his top. He gets enough shit from his brothers over this! He does not need one more moron bothering him about it! Fuck off! *Grabs you by the arm and storms off*

Granny Boone: "... Grandma, huh? Alright then!~ " *Turns to you* "Come here, sweetie, give grandmother a kiss~ " She's about to ruin that guys whole career 😅😅😅

Inkubus: Inkubus is not amused. Grandpa?? Absolutely not, no. He'll correct the person in the most embarrassing way possible.

Jedidiah Sawyer: Jed does not care at all 😅😅 The only person who's opinion matters to him is yours, so who cares if this guy thinks he's your grandpa? Fine then, he's your grandpa. So go and mow the lawn for him while he sits on the porch and has a sweet tea.

Luda Mae Hewitt: She's is gonna tear that guy a new one. Calling her old?? Son of a bitch, where is that persons manners?? She should set her damn sons on him.

Mayor Buckman: Sorry, Buckman cannot answer this question. He's too busy choking.

Mental Manny / Manual Dyer: Manny loves to correct people. He's got the biggest smile on his face as he goes oh you're mistaken- this is my beautiful partner. A little young, sure, but we sure don't mind~ Oh sweetheart, I think we're going be late for our dinner reservations. Shall we?

Peepaw Michael Myers: Like Jed he struggles to give a shit. Who cares??? He knows that he's not your grandfather and you know he's not your grandfather- that's all that matters. He doesn't care... but he does enjoy giving you a big kiss, with tongue, later when the guy sees you both again. He's a gremlin.

Norman Nordstrom: ... what? Norman is pissed at this idea, he hates it. He feels like a digusting predator (*cough* which he is, though not because you like him ^^) and it hits close to home. He's going to need you to set it straight.

Otis B. Driftwood: "... Ha! Okay, pal, check this out." He'll say, then turn around and basically make out with you right there in front of the guy. Otis is not amused at the poor insinuation and takes it out with lewd efficiency.

Pamela Voorhees: Again- not amused. As far as she's concerned, this total stranger has no business making disgusting insinuations about the two of you, anyway. So she'll ruthlessly take them down a notch with her words- and sweet smile.

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt Jr: "... you think you're funny? No I ain't their fucken grandpa. Didn't your bitch momma ever teach you to mind your business? Oh don't you worry, I can do it for her." Just- my friend- just keep him from taking out the damn shot gun.

Stuart Lloyd: "... oh... uh... n-no, actually- " Stuart forces himself to stutter through a quick explanation- but he wants to crawl into a whole and die (:

Taxidermist / Walter Harris: Gets the nervous giggles 😅😅😅 Doesn't correct them.

Winslow Foxworth Coltrane: Annnnd Foxy loves it XD He was already one kinky mother fucker- you can use this as foreplay. Let him smack your ass while they're still looking but call you 'Hon' or 'Sweetie'- he finds it funny and hot in equal measures.

[fandomwe1rd0]

Wrote a fanfic based off of a headcanon I have that Rick can't say no to Morty when Morty calls him "Grandpa"

Rick was taking Morty to an alien grocery store, not sure why he needed to drag Morty out of school for something so small, but Morty basically gave up on trying to understand Rick, he probably just needed his human camouflage, someone, to do the shit Rick didn't want to do. Morty scoffed and rolled his eyes. Of course, that's all he was to Rick. Just someone to be his butler, his slave, his human shield, his human cloaking device. How could he forget? Rick was such an amazing grandpa. Morty thought sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Then he caught sight of something, and he ran towards it, awkwardly squeezing past slimy aliens while saying "Excuse me!" He heard Rick saying "Morty! Stay cl-*burp*-ose by me, you little shit!" Morty ignored Rick and kept running when he finally got to see it clearly then he gasped "Holy crap! A new space hyper-realistic gaming console!" Rick went over to Morty and rolled his eyes "We're in space, you can just say gaming console." Morty ran up to it eagerly checking the pricetag, fuck yes! It was the newest version! Morty was wondering when this would come out! He's been waiting so long! But it was really expensive...

Morty bit his lip then quickly glanced over to Rick and put on his best, most innocent-sounding voice "Rickkk uhm..." He fidgeted and gulped, rubbing the back of his neck "Say you wouldn't mind...buying that for me, would you?" Morty asked, pointing over to the gaming console." Rick let out a sigh "How mu-*burp*-ch is it?" Morty mumbled the price "3....ahem...3000 glorpglams..." Rick said "What? Spit it o-*burp*-ut kid, Rick got your tongue?" Morty said it a litte louder now "3000 glorpglams..." Rick blinked "Seriousl-*burp*-y Morty? That's stupi-*burp*-dly expensive. Do you think Grandpa is made of money? You already have o-*burp*-ne of these." Morty whined "B-b-but this is the newest version! It comes with all kinds of new games! A-and they added better graphics, smoother gameplay, and everything! C'mon Rick please?" Rick shook his head "Nope. Morty if I b-*burp*-uy that for your dumb little ass, I'll have to remove some thi-*burp*-ngs from my shopping list. Do you know how much that's going to impede my work?" Morty kept whining "Pleaseeee?" Rick sighed "Morty. I said n-*burp*-o. End of discussion."

Morty sighed, he was thinking for a minute, then had a quick smirk as he got an idea. He lightly tugged on Rick's labcoat, looked up at him with the biggest puppy eyes he could muster and put on his cutest voice, put on his best pout then begged "Please, Grandpa?" He saw Rick visibly twitch at the familial term, his posture suddenly straightening, his eyes widen and his grip on the cart tightening. Rick quickly took a glance at Morty, big mistake, he saw Morty's pout and puppy eyes. Morty then clasped his hands together in a classic begging gesture. Rick let out a long sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Mumbling something insulting himself for being weak and calling Morty something along the lines of "Manipulative little shit." then he gestured over, and Morty blinked "Wh-" Then Rick interrupted "Just put it in the c-*burp*-art. Hurry up before I change my mind." Morty held back a smirk, got him! He let out a small "Yes!" and then ran over to the gaming console and put it in the cart. "Thanks, Rick!" Rick rolled his eyes "Yeah, what-*burp*-ever."

[thelovelymissbigbadwolf]

Here's my personal HC for the Fair family tree

Grandma (M) / Grandpa (M): Mom

Grandma (D) / Grandpa (D): Dad

Dad / Mom: Zack

Grandma (MD) : 💀

Grandpa (MD) Old man Yaoi

Yes I HC that after their wives death, both of Zack's grandparents got together since they were childhood friends and also war colleagues who secretly loved each other but never acted upon it and only did so once they were old.

Mom accepted and figured it out first. Dad took WAY too long to understand what was happening, and when he did went like

"WAIT— WHAT— WHEN— HOW—" Bluescreen.

Zack himself took WAY too long to find out about his grandparents because his parents had no idea HOW to touch the subject. I mean, his mom knew, but his dad always interrupted the subject, fearing his son's reaction. Even though both knew his kid would accept it. Until

Zack: Uh, mom, what's up with dad? Why's he acting like that whenever I ask about pops?

Sara: Oh, because—

Jack: WHOWANTSPUMPKINPIEIWANTPUMPKINPIEZACKSONGOFETCHUSSOMEPUMPKINSWILLYA???

Zack gets weirded out, but does so anyway, fetching an axe and out for the pumpkins field.

Sara: JACK FOR FUCK'S SAKE IT'S NOT EVEN PUMPKIN SEASON!

Jack: I KNOW I JUST-AHWJCWKHCWJJCKW YOU GET WHY I DID THAT, SARA!

Sara: NO I DO NOT!

Jack: What if his reaction is bad??

Sara: Jack you know our son and knows even though he likes girls, THERE ISN'T A SINGLE STRAIGHT BONE IN HIM. NO HE WILL NOT HAVE A BAD REACTION!

It takes Zack a total of three hours searching for a ripe pumpkins to realize something— it's winter, it's not pumpkin season. He walked back home and just went to a general store to buy some pumpkin jam instead and heads home.

Zack: Dad, I think you mistook the season, so I got—

He looks up and sees his grandparents and immediately goes to hug them and they talk about how his life on the big city's been. He talked about his friends, about his girlfriend to them. And how he's going to live a beautiful romance with her just like his grandparents did. Sara giggled along with both grandparents and Jack shushed them. Zack didn't get it. Were they laughing at him?

Zack: I... Don't see what's funny, why are y'all laughing?

Sara: Oh, nothing sweetie, it's just—

Jack: YOUJUSTMETHERHOWDOYOUKNOWSHESTHEONE

Sara glared at Jack. Zack frowned at him.

Zack: Well, how did you know mom was the one for you?

Sara: Zack, your dad didn't want to—

Pops (M): Eh, don't worry Bloodhound, we can take it from here.

Sara nodded and dragged Jack out of the room. Jack was eating his nails while waiting for the scene to be over, not knowing what his son's reaction would be. (Also I will be calling them Raph and Crowley for practicity purposes)

Raph: We both have something to say to you, squeaker.

Zack: What?

Both the old men held hands in front of Zack. He looked at it. The two parents were having a distinct reaction, Sara calm and Jack freaking out. Zack looked confused and just shrugged.

Zack: Well?...

Raph: Uh... Alright, uh... You know when... Two people love each other?

He pointed at their held hands. Zack shook his head, still confused. Sara now started to freak out.

Sara: Oh my god.

Jack: DO YOU GET WHY I'M LIKE THIS?!

Zack's fraternal grandfather (Raph) began to stutter, not knowing what to do or say. Zack's maternal grandfather (Crowley) rolled his eyes and just grabbed the other's face and pulled him for a kiss. THAT is when it finally hit to him.

Zack: O H

Jack: DO YOU GET NOW?!

Zack: H O W

Sara: ARE YOU SERIOUS??

Zack: W H E N

Raph: He's young! How did he not catch the clues?!

Zack: W H O

Crowley: You forget he's your grandson.

Zack: HO— wait, what?

Raph: ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?!

Zack: ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?!

[dykevanny]

do you have specific things you like about each fnaf rabbit or is it just a catch all “bnuuy :3”? /lh

hell yeah brother

Bonnie - I like how he’s the scariest of the original bunch even in scotts eyes!! His lack of eyebrows really makes a lack of expression that makes him sooo much more uncanny and also hes so cute i love him. Withered bonnie also falls under soooo cool and also the tiny red eyes in the dark is so good i love his design. Gender envy dareisay.

Springtrap obviously i love springy but like once again BANGER ASS DESIGN!!!!! The way he works in fnaf3 s soooo fucking cool. Like yeah william payed the ultimate price for his actions and you can hear him, pained in every move he makes, still motivated by bloodlust above all else….. he’s soo cool man.

Nightmare Bonnie is simply fun to look at once again. Gender also. Same goes for shadow bonnie like a dark void with eyes? Me. Also plushtrap is so cute i want to put him in a purse<3

Bonbon is so charming and silly and such a fun way to incorporate him,, love that handpuppet.

Scraptrap….. i mean his weird regrowing flesh is simply cool.also his silly face brings me joy to no end. Rockstar bonnie is simply a fun and colorful design I’m a fan

GLITCHTRAOP IS PEAAAAK DESIGN MAN HES SO UNSETTLING AND COOL AND THE VEST N BIOWTIE ADD SO UCH TO THE OG SPRINGBONNIE DESIGN ANJD HESSSSOOOOO COOLLLMAN RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

VANNYYYYYI LOVE HERRRR SO MJUCHHHHSHES SGFGVHVHF !!!!!!! THE HORROR OF YOUR BODY/ACTIONS BEING NOT YOUTR OWN AND YOUR AUTONOMY BEING STRIPPED FROM YOU AND ALL….ALSO HER DESIGN IS CUTE I LIKE HER GLOWING RED EYES AND BIG OL BOW<3 AND GRAHHHHSHE MOVES… HER SLOW PACE AND SILLY ACT ARE SUCHH A NICE CONTRAST TO HER INTENT MAN!! SHES SO COOL I LOVE HER AND RAHHHHHHHH

Burntrap is also just such a cool fucking design bro he’s so icky I love him and his horrible flesh and like,,dudeeeee he’s just so cool he’s so fun,,, i love my horrible grandpa who smells like 500 roadkill<3

Glambon,,, I love it when a character haunts the narrative man. Also his design is super cute love his faggot eyeliner and his color scheme is so nice. Also canon fronnie rights

Andddd counting doc rab here even though he’s not in the games. I like what that does for Greg’s character and honestly while I feel he could be more unique from vanny he’s cool :3 a kid luring other kids to their deaths is always such a neat concept

Also jack-o bonnie s just cool i love jack o lanterns and this dude is so fun

[abbatoirablaze]

Princess & Bunny, Chapter 2

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings:  taboo relationships, manipulation.

“What the fuck are they doing here?”

“Language young lady,” Linda Thrombey frowned.  Bunny took a deep breath as her stepbrother stood awkwardly on the front porch while they pulled up the driveway, “and if you must know, I told Ransom and a few of his friends to come get you and your sister.”

“Oh, is that Hughie?” Princess asked excitedly, already sitting forward in her seat until she’d had a view of her stepbrother.  Bunny frowned, crossing her arms, “Come on, Bunny, cheer up.  Hughie never did anything to you and you always treat him so rotten.”

“You’re really excited to see him?” she scowled, “especially after we just dropped Kingston off at grandpa Harlans?”

“About Kingston…Ransom’s friends don’t know anything about…that incident…and I’d prefer that neither one of you bring it up!”

“Oh…” Princess frowned, “o-okay.”

“I just think it’s for the best,” Linda said quickly, “I mean, we know that Ransom is the boy’s father, but we don’t want to put him in that kind of awkward situation with his friends, now do we?  You’re his stepsister, Bunny…mate or not, the rest of the world won’t see it as a good thing.”

“N-no…I guess not,” she frowned, sitting back in her seat, “a-am I allowed to talk about Kingston at all?”

“You shouldn’t!” Bunny said firmly, shooting her sister a look over her shoulder, “for all of spring break we are just two high school seniors forced to hang out with her stepbrother and his weird frat brothers.”

“I think they’re nice!”

“You think everyone is nice!  You are far too trusting, my little Princess,” Linda sighed, putting the car into park, “come on…let’s just get this show on the road.”

But Princess was already halfway out of the car; the 18-year-old panther quickly making her way towards Ransom, “Hughie!”

“Cece!” the normally stoic and sarcastic man smiled, catching her as she launched herself into his arms, “god I missed you.”

He buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent deeply.  She began purring wildly as she nuzzled her face against his.  A few of his friends looked at one another, taken back by the fact that he just scented his stepsister.

“And you think this is a good idea?” Bunny scoffed, shooting her stepmother a look, “we’ll be lucky if by the end of this, she doesn’t end up with another cub.”

“And what about you?” Linda asked, raising her brow at the young woman, “I saw the way that you were eyeing up that panther in the back.  The boy with the dark hair and those steely eyes.”

Bunny blushed, her scent tinging ever so slightly from being called out by Linda, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, no?” she asked, “then what about the blonde lion who stood near him?  Or the bulky looking wolf in the corner?  Thinking of going from a big cat to a dog?”

Bunny shifted in her spot, “I-I’ve never so much as kissed anyone, mother…wh-why are you asking me these things?”

“Be careful is all I’m saying,” she shrugged, “I ended up with Ransom’s father so quickly…I was young.  Inexperienced.  I thought I knew the world, much like you.  But I didn’t know anything.  I don’t want you making the same mistakes that I did.”

“Ransom…”

“I love my son…but I know what he is,” she said sadly, “had I not been so trusting of the world, I would not have had him…I just want you to be prepared, Bunny.  I’m protecting you.”

“Is that what this is?” she asked, “You’re not just testing my boundaries?”

“Do you think that you need to be tested?”

“What happens if I do?”

“I think that you and your sister are in need of being tested before you go to college,” she admitted with a firm look, “and I think now is a good start to that.  You are a smart girl, Bunny…I don’t think that you’ll make the same mistakes that I did.”

“This is it!”

Bunny frowned as she looked around the large living room that she’d been in only weeks before.  And while her sister was excitedly following her stepbrother into the house, she stood in the same room, not wanting to go further into it.

“You know…you can’t just stand there for the whole two weeks you’re going to be here…people might start to confuse you with a coat rack if you do.”

Bunny nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned around.  The confidence was practically rolling off the lithe man in droves.  She’d recognized him from the first time she was in the house, but she didn’t know his name. 

He leaned forward ever so slightly, his nostrils flaring while he took in her scent, and a low rumble started in his chest, “you smell phenomenal, pretty kitty…do you have claws or are you just looking for a reason to purr?”

Despite the way his voice was affecting her, making her want to do nothing but scent him back, she hissed.  The man smirked, taking a step back.

“Johnny, leave her the hell alone!”

He held up his hands, as though he was innocent, “I’m not doing anything…just seeing if the kitty has claws.”

“She does…and she’ll fuck you up,” Ransom warned.  He shot his stepsister a look and she gave him an appreciative nod, “Come on, Bunny…let me show you the third floor where you and Princess will be staying.”

She nodded, quickly following behind Ransom.  He’d gone up the first set of stairs, and from her spot on the landing, Bunny could see Princess impatiently waiting on the third floor, “come on, guys.”

“We’re coming,” Ransom chuckled, making his way towards Princess, “god, Cece, you’re impatient as ever.”

She giggled, attaching herself back to Ransom’s side as he joined her, “or I just want you to show me every bit of this place.  I’m so excited Hughie.  Linda never let us see you.  She alw-“

“You know exactly why that is, Princess!” Bunny scowled, cutting her excitable sister off, “now stop being stupid.”

“Hey,” Ransom growled, glaring at Bunny, “stop being mean to her…you know, not everyone has a stick up their ass about everything all the time like you do, Bunny!”

“I’m just excited…Linda never lets us go anywhere!” Princess said sadly, “It-it’s always home, or the publishing company…or her real estate business…or Harlans…I just-“

“Hey…hey…” Ransom said quickly, cutting her off, “it’s okay, Princess.  Bunny’s just being a pain.  You  know how she is sometimes…it’s nothing new.  And we’ve always dealt with it before…and we have each other again, now.”

“Yeah…” she agreed, sniffling at Ransom.  He was quick to wipe away the tears before they fell down her cheeks, “she’s not sweet to me like you are, Hughie…”

Bunny rolled her eyes, “Whatever…where are we sleeping?  I want to put my stuff down somewhere!”

“I want to stay in Hughie’s room!” Princess said quickly, turning all of her attention back to the alpha, “please, say I can stay in your room with you, Hughie.  Pretty please.  Please!  Ple-“

“If that’s what you want!” he said quickly, already caving in to her doe eyes, “I-we were going to have you girls stay in one of the spare rooms on the top floor so the guys don’t bug you as much.  But if you want to stay with me, Princess…”

“Of course I do, Hughie!” she giggled, pressing herself tightly against Ransom and wrapping her arms around his neck, “oh this is going to be the best two weeks ever.  It’ll be just like when you lived at home…”&

“Does anyone else think that Ransom’s stepsisters are a little…”

“Odd?” Jake Jensen voiced.  His eyes trailed towards the stairs.  He knew that a while ago, Ransom had taken them upstairs to show them the room they’d be staying in. 

A few of the guys chattered around the coffee table as they sipped on their beers and watched the game that was going on.  Some nodded along, agreeing on how they noticed Ransom was acting, and how the sisters were responding.

“The one is just…all over him!  Did anyone else think that was weird?”

“And he scented her when we got them!”

“What?”  

“And the other acts like she hates him…”

“Maybe she does?”

Bucky glared at Johnny, “she seems like she’s pretty smart…the one that wasn’t clinging to Drysdale…maybe there’s a reason she hates him…ever think of that?  Probably has something to do with how much of a creep he was being with her sister.”

“Because Drysdale is a dick!”

“No, Buck is right.  I think.  The other one is all over him!” Steve repeated, his confusion leaking through the exclamation, “they’re too close for even stepsiblings.”

“Maybe that’s why she hates him!” Johnny pointed out as he finally realized what the two were saying.  He used his tongue and pressed it to the inside of his cheek, “big step bro playing hide the pickle with her twin and not her…”

“God, why do you have to be so disgusting, Johnny!” Jake groaned, “that’s his stepsister.”

“Steve and Bucky said it first!”

“You guys…that’s not what you were saying, was it?”

Bucky shrugged, “it’s what it looks like!”

“I’m sorry, those twins are hot,” Johnny began, “if they were my sisters, step or not, I’m gladly doing whatever position they ask.  I know you don’t get much action, Jensen, but the one looks like she just lives to please…imagine her beneat-”

“Come on, man.  That’s gross!”

“Maybe Storm is right,” one of the other panthers agreed, “she really is all over him while the other one hates him.”

“Jealousy?”

“I mean the one that hangs off him-that one seems pretty stupid,” one of the guys laughed, “Maybe the grumpy bitch just hates him because he’s all over her and the ditz is too stupid to realize it.”

“My sister isn’t a ditz,” a feminine voice replied all too quickly.  The guys tore their eyes from the game to see Bunny in a pair of sweatpants and a crop top tee.  Instantly regret laced their scents.  She inhaled, and sneered, “you guys have one thing right though…I do fucking hate Ransom…and I hate all of you too…you self-righteous, self-serving pricks.”

“We-“

“Save it,” she spat, glaring at Jake, “the least you ingrates could do is make sure that one of the people you’re talking about isn’t in the god damned kitchen making food.”

“Is Ran-“

“Princess wanted to see the campus,” she said firmly, shaking her head at the question, “you’re lucky that Ransom took her out before your little game started…if he heard you talking about Princess like that, he’d personally gut each and everyone of you.”

“You won’t tell him, will you?”

Her eyes snapped to Buckys, “I may hate that asshole, but I don’t hate Princess…she thinks the world of you pricks already, and I’m not going to be the one to disillusion her to that.”

Chapter 3

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown

[rickxation]

You Found Me

Sev finds Cy in the modern day and it gets emotional. Really wanted to solidify them more since he's a big part of Cy's past.

Rating: T for language

Word count: 2608

There was a knock at the front door. "Go get it Morty," Summer grumbled from the couch where they were both watching TV.

"C-c'mon y-you know h-how nervous I-i get answering the-the door…" Morty whined at his sister.

"Well you should practice then," Summer slumped lower into the couch, solidifying her unwillingness to get up.

"F-fine," Morty huffed, standing and heading towards the entryway. He gulped and cracked open the door so just his head was poking out.

"Oh, uh h–hello?" M-morty squeaked, looking at the man on their doorstep. It was a Rick; Morty's heart started beating fast. Grandpa Rick always warned him against strange Ricks so his nervousness was dialed up to eleven.

"Hey, kid, your Rick around?" The man said rather nicely. Morty didn't get bad vibes from him, though he knew how deceiving other Ricks could be.

"Um, o-o-one s-second," Morty shut the door and locked it.

"What the hell, Morty, that was so rude," Summer laughed, watching him from the family room.

"I-i-i-its a-a-a R-rick!" Morty was panicking a little, pulling on the hem of his shirt and rubbing it between his fingers like he always did when he was nervous.

"Oh shit, uh, go get Cy then," Summer had sat up straight and looked a little nervous as well. She knew Ricks could be bad news. She insisted Cy take her on adventures sometimes so her knowledge of the universe and particularly other Ricks was growing. Cy had started feeling more comfortable letting her accompany him to more dangerous situations. She knew he still was protective but she was pretty sure she had seen more danger than Morty.

Morty ran down the stairs to the workshop in the basement and opened the door. "Grandpa! There's a-a-a R-rick at the-the door!" He sounded more frantic now, his sister's reaction making it worse.

"Oh shit, did you let him in?" Cy set down his tools and wiped his hands off before stepping past Morty, already hustling up the stairs.

Morty ran after him, it was hard keeping up with those long legs, "N-n-no! Of-of course n-not!" Morty sounded annoyed despite his fear.

"Sorry buddy, I shouldn't assume. You and Summer go to your room, I didn’t have anyone coming over. Let me see what he wants," Cy apologized and was already at the door with Morty slightly winded behind him. Summer was standing near the couch but didn't budge at Cy's command.

"Hell no, I'll stay out here so I can see who it is. He didn't bust the door down, it'll be fine," Summer crossed her arms. Cy rolled his eyes at her sound argument. Morty hurried over and stood a little behind her so he could still see also not doing what Cy said.

"Fine, whatever. Just stay there then," Cy said, turning to the door. He retracted the skin on his right arm, exposing his gold robotics and preparing to quickly morph it into a cannon if he needed to. He unlocked the door and peeked out before opening the door wider to see what a strange Rick could possibly want coming to his home.

"Hey, Cy?" The Rick said, a question in his slightly nervous voice. He was dressed in loose pants tucked into his tall boots and a v-neck shirt with a short vest. His eyes were wrinkled and tired, he was thinner but still had a strong look about him.

"S-Sev? Oh my god." Cy opened the door all the way, just standing there dumbfounded. Tears came to his eyes and he stepped forward a little, taking the other man's hands in his own to make sure he was real.

"Yeah, it's me, I-i thought you… I can't believe it’s you…. you're alive," Sev was a lot older looking but still had the fire in his eyes, relit by finally tracking down his lover after all these years.

"F-fuck I…" Cy rushed forward clinging to the man, tears streaking down his face. He felt the other's arms encircle him, rubbing his back gently since he couldn't stop crying.

"C'mon Morty, let's go," Summer said quietly. She could tell it was going to be okay and they needed privacy. Morty nodded and looked over at the hall to see Mort peeking their head out of their room. They had turned off their music and was curious at the front door opening. They heard another Rick's voice that wasn't either one that they lived with.

"It's okay," Morty said quietly and motioned Mort to go back into the room as he joined them. Summer went to her own room but didn't close the door all the way; she couldn't help but try to eavesdrop a little.

"I-i can't believe… I-i thought you died in that explosion I waited around for you but there was so much wreckage I was just hoping... I-i ended up going to the Citadel to-to look for you and th-they said you were dead. I didn’t have any juice left in my portal gun and then they just took it anyway when I registered to live there…" Cy spoke fast and was shivering in Sev's arms.

Sev pulled back to look at Cy, "I’m so sorry, that place is hell to live in. Those bastards don't know where I am; it was too easy to trick them into thinking I went MIA. I’m sorry, I should have told you that…" Sev said, knowing how hard it could be living there, especially for a young Rick. "What happened to your arm?" He said, his eyebrows knitting together.

"It's a really long story… Do you, uh, do you want to come in?" Cy looked unsure of himself. He had no idea what to think. Was the man the same as before? Back when Cy was barely 30 and Sev was a Rick who swooped down into his life and showed him the multiverse.

"Sure, if that's okay…" Sev scratched the back of his neck. Cy held his hand and led him to the couch. He didn't want to let go, feeling like he was hallucinating and the man might disappear if he looked away. Cy gestured for him to sit on the couch.

"Can I-i get you a drink?" Cy stuttered. He hadn't stuttered this much in a while; he had control of it most of the time nowadays.

"Just a water would be great," Sev said, noting how nervous Cy was. Cy nodded and went into the kitchen to grab a couple cold water bottles. He hurried back and handed one to him.

"Thanks, uh, it's been… how… how are you?" Sev didn't know how to start a conversation with a long lost lover. They had been so close and their separation had been so traumatic all those years ago.

Cy sat close to him, turning on the couch so they could face each other. He hesitantly took his old partner’s hand again. Cy was embarrassed and had made his arm look human again when he went into the kitchen.

Sev stroked his hand, feeling how realistic his skin felt, unless he had seen it he wouldn’t have thought it was artificial. The heat of their skin together again was making Cy emotional, he felt his eyes growing wet again.

Sev reached up with a gentle hand and caught a tear, smoothing his hand across his cheek. He lifted his other up and cradled Cy’s face before gently leaning in to give him a soft kiss. They fell into their old rhythm like they had never parted. Cy leaned back, speechless.

“I was… I had to go somewhere after… after you died…” Cy swallowed, his eyes cast to the side he was feeling so ashamed and raw as his past rushed back into his mind. How hard it was, how lost and alone he felt, trapped on the Citadel. It had led to so many painful memories. He had good times too but it was such a large span of time, he couldn’t figure out how to relay all that was swirling in his head. How do you condense 20 years of life into words to someone you thought you’d never see again?

“I’m so sorry, that place is awful. I can’t imagine what it was like. Cy, I… I don’t know what to say,” Sev lifted Cy’s right hand up and kissed his knuckles. “Can I see?” He said gently and Cy nodded and retracted his skin, the well polished gold being revealed again. “It’s-it’s beautiful,” Sev examined the metal, it had engravings on the forearm and he ran his fingers along the lines.

Cy made a sad face and revealed his other arm that was artificial as well. A white carapace with black joints. Sev’s eyebrows shot up at the reveal, taking that hand next to see. It was a totally different material, almost like plastic but he could tell it was very sturdy. Cy’s gold arm was drawn to his chest as Sev looked at his other one.

“You… how much…?” Sev didn’t know how to politely ask someone how artificial their body was.

“M-my limbs are non organic, I have a mix of bio and tech in my body. I have a-a Rick that helps me with my non mechanical parts… I built the rest of my limbs but the gold one was a gift...” Cy grimaced. He didn’t like revealing his self perceived lack of humanity with all the inorganic parts of him. But he wanted to connect with Sev so badly again and it was an easy way to show a large part of his life.

“It’s very beautiful, I always loved your craftsmanship with machines. I can see your style shine through,” Sev didn’t want to pry more than Cy was going to let him know. Cy hid his augments once again and Sev ran his thumbs across his knuckles that were seamlessly human looking once more, “It’s amazing, we’ve got so much to talk about.”

Cy nodded and scratched his neck, deciding to just keep talking about his body since he had started already, “I-i couldn’t bring myself to use a clone, my body has been through it all with me. So… so this is me.” Cy felt a little relief saying those words he had been turning around in his head forever. He always felt guilty that he had a solution to some of his self loathing so accessible with cloning. But, he also didn’t want to just wipe all his history away with a fresh body and a brain that wasn’t originally his.

“I like it, it’s so you,” Sev smiled gently. "Oh, I uh, brought you something. I felt weird not bringing anything, hah," Sev shot a small portal and brought out a bottle of wine and handed it to Cy. "Sorry, it's like super cliché and I don't know what you like… I did get it on a planet I was on recently so it's at least exotic, right?"

"Thank you, it's great. You didn't have to bring anything. Just yourself. Just… I still am in shock, I'm sorry," Cy said quietly, accepting the wine and looking at the alien script on the label. He put it on the table and just leaned forward to hug Sev again.

They sat there, both unsure at their relationship that was now resurrected. Sev cleared his throat, “So uh, I kinda leaned into the whole Han Solo thing that you used to tease me about, heh. Just picking up jobs, smuggling and all kinds of shit. It paid well and was dangerous so I liked the work. I never settled down, just… didn’t feel right…” Sev sighed. There was plenty of other stuff he had done but it was a good summary.

“What? You never found anyone?” Cy said sadly, all the sudden feeling really guilty.

“Nah it’s not like that, I had plenty of fun and a few relationships but I just didn’t want to slow down and become an old man with a ball and chain, right?” Sev laughed. He didn’t want to put pressure on Cy but he had really made him afraid to lose someone again after what happened. He ended up leaning hard into just living in the moment and chasing adventure.

“H-how did you find me…?” Cy asked, a little nervous if random Ricks could just show up and know where he lived now.

“I stole records from the Citadel; I got skills, man. We don’t need to get into the specifics but I was looking into the info they had on me and a couple other Ricks I know. But uh, one night I was drunk and feeling sorry for myself so I looked up your dimension code…. I was shocked that you had records since we never went there together and as far as I knew they hadn’t cataloged you in their system yet…” Sev was talking with his hands still animated when he spoke just like he used to be.

“I scraped the archives for anything I could learn about you and then I found leads to your whereabouts. It took a long time but… I’m here now,” Sev shrugged, as if searching for Cy was just a casual thing to do.

“You found me,” Cy said, once again tearing up, “You… you saw my Citadel history then?” Cy said, getting ashamed again.

“They didn’t keep strong tabs on you; the places you worked for didn’t like keeping very accurate records. I’m so sorry you had to do that stuff for work…” Sev didn’t know how to broach the subject so he just barreled through.

“No, don’t be. I was good at it and really found my stride. I worked my way up to the top and had it pretty good at one point, it wasn’t too bad most of the time. Just got… tough at the end…” Cy was understating it but Sev nodded.

“I’m proud of you, really. Taking out a Rick like that… the Rick news outlets had lots to say about you in the records, well at least a lot to say about the bastard you took out,” Sev smiled.

“I-i-i…” Cy tucked his arms close to his body. He hadn’t thought about Papa in a long time and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to joke about it since he never processed all the stuff that went down before he escaped.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have, I didn’t mean to…” Sev held his hands up, not sure if he should comfort him or not, he was so out of practice.

“It’s okay… I just… I have been avoiding thinking about huge chunks of my past. It’s not healthy, I know, just hurts too much and I’m scared,” Cy mumbled, drawing him into a hug.

“Shhh shhh, it’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it,” Sev rubbed his back, “I won’t bring it up and we don’t have to talk unless you want to.” Another few minutes of quiet embrace and then Cy heard a throat clear. He jumped a little at the noise and they parted, sitting up straight on the couch.

Summer was standing at the end of the hallway, “Hey uh, it’s getting late and I don’t think Morty ate so…” She gave a half hearted wave to Sev and then went into the kitchen to find herself a snack.

“Oh shit, yeah I need to make sure they eat,” Cy cleared his throat. “Thanks Summer!” Cy yelled into the kitchen, receiving a ‘whatever’ in response. He turned to look at Sev again, “Hey, you wanna stay for some pizza?”

[countlessrealities]

Summer and morty do you prefer sweets or savory snacks?

Unprompted asks || Always accepting !

"Sweets are, like, so overrated if you ask me," Summer answers with a shrug. "If I want something sweet, I drink a soda. But for, like, eating? Savory stuff is the best. You can eat more without getting tired of them and you aren't, like, hungry again an hour later."

It's not that she doesn't like sweets. She enjoys a slice of cake like every other teenage girl, but if she has to choose, she's going for salty stuff without doubts.

"I guess my only exception is ice cream? That's the only sweet I'll always pick over most snacks." Especially if it's one of those crazy alien tastes Rick has introduced her and Morty to. "And milkshakes. Not to be gross, but dipping French fries into a milkshake? That's super rad."

"I-I like savory best too! N-No one in the family has a big sweet tooth. R-Rick loves specific sweets, b-but he usually goes for savory too," Morty steps in, nodding in agreement to his sister's words. "I-Ice cream is my exception too, e-even if it depends on the flavour, y-you know? T-There's this ice cream from, uh, Gloppydrop system, i-it's great."

The teen pauses to shoot Summer a look, before continuing. "T-The other one...o-of my expectations, I mean...I-It's Rick's pancakes. H-He doesn't make them often, b-but they are better than Mom's. Just...d-don't tell her I said that."

The words are followed by a nervous chuckle, while the girl scoffs.

"Yeah, I guess I agree, but he made them, like, one time for us?" She points out with a shrug. "At four in the morning and he was, like, totally wasted. They don't count because it was a one-time thing."

She turns towards her brother, expecting him to agree, but the boy isn't looking away, a hint of guilt in his expression. It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots.

"Don't tell me he made them for you again!" Summer exclaimed, incredulous and outraged. Betrayal. "I even asked him and he told me that it wasn't happening! Why does he make exceptions for you and no one else?!"

Morty shrinks a little, but only for a moment, because immediately after annoyance swallows his initial nervousness.

"B-Because I'm the one w-who deals with him when h-he's drunk out of his mind at night, w-while you all sleep without a care, S-Summer!" He shoots back with a deep scowl. "O-Or when he's high an-and makes a mess of the house! W-Who disarms his neutrino bombs? W-Who cleans up if he vomits on the floor or-or spills shit in the garage? W-Who has to put up with his nonsense rants? Me! I-It's always been me!"

Summer looks a bit taken aback by the outburst, but she has the common sense not to talk back, even if she is very tempted to.

"S-So, when he is in a...happy drunk mood o-or whatever, an-and he makes me pancakes or t-takes me somewhere cool, I-I let him! Because I-I fucking earned it!"

With one last glare, Morty looks away again, arms crossed over his chest, expression still dark. The girl lifts a ginger eyebrow at him, before rolling her eyes.

"Geez, fine, calm your tits, bro. Maybe you should spend less time with Grandpa, you're learning all his bad habits."

Morty grumbles something unintelligible under his breath and then stomps off. Summer watches him go, utterly unimpressed, and then shakes her head.

"Little creepy drama queen."

[notallwonder]

First impressions! Criminal Minds Evolution/CM 16, episodes 1 & 2.

Spoilers below the cut!

I'll also be tagging with all the variations of CM spoilers I can think of so you can filter/avoid going forward.

Vindication! Nicole Pacent for the win(ning Tara Lewis' heart)!

It's great to see these characters again so far. I love them! In the first episode everything still feels a little wooden though, a little stiff. Second episode things start to loosen up a bit more.

Unfortunately the CM writers still have a habit of writing dialogue divorced from the way real people talk. Not all of it is bad, but you can feel the difference when the actors have enough to work with/relax into. In fairness, good dialogue is a non trivial task, but I want the pros to do better!

I'm enjoying Rossi. His anger and grief are a bit heavy handed in the writing esp in the first ep, but it suits his character and Mantegna wears it well. I appreciate the way this motivates one on one scenes with other folks. Esp with Garcia! And with Prentiss! I just love their relationship, it's nice to see again. Also I think I'm still weirdly charmed by the microwave mac and cheese dinners too. #relatable

Also appreciating:

+JJ's big guns and wardrobe's very correct decision to put AJ Cook in a sleeveless shirt. *praise lesbian jesus*

+the Tara / DOJ Pacent reveal was pretty low-key, if expositional, as was the confirmation that Tara's bi. Also Emily's teasing & support warmed the jaded-by-network-TV cockles of my heart.

+that callback to Garcia's pink sticky note! nice

+Garcia, babe, I love ya. I'm so glad we get to see more of your substance. KV is crushing it. The scene with Rossi was wonderful. I don't remember if those two have ever had such a great moment together previously.

+I think this may be one of the few times I actually believe the JJ/Will chemistry? Will's "Am I in trouble?" was hilarious.

+I died, DIED, Wheezing Laughter, at Emily's exasperated "am I the only one not getting laid?" YES MORE OF THIS PRENTISS SASS MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE, I am Greedy for it. I'm so happy they're letting her have a personality again!!!

+I laughed so much I missed all the rest of that scene, the Rossi joke, JJ looking surprised (in a teeny tiny bit mad kind of way? as opposed to laughing kind of way?) at the Tara's girlfriend comment, good thing I watched it again like 5 times

+I appreciate that the first "fuck" of the series was uttered by an otherwise innocent civilian when presented with crime scene photos in an interview

+I agree with Rossi that they should name the guy Fuckhead rather than Sicarius. A+ no notes. Luke concurs.

+y'all, we're going to have a new problem in the fandom now - sexy serial killer thirst. I guess that's not completely new, are there folks out there who love Foyet? I haven't been paying attention to the men when it comes to shipping etc. Anyway Zach Gilford is lovely as always, except in a sinister way.

+I was incorrect before to be sad about Emily Prentiss' fancy office duds. If lesbian jesus ever chooses to bless me with another appearance of Cargo Pants Prentiss I will scream for joy and prostrate myself in gratitude, but I'm just happy to see her on my screen again.

+JJ/AJ lookin' good.

My wishlist:

+bureaucratic antagonists that are like....not so cartoonishly villainous/inept/out of touch. Honestly I miss Strauss in that role, Jayne Atkinson was great. The new guy (whom Prentiss could/should snap like a twig) Bailey is a silly little noodle compared to Barnes but they both just...tired treatment of institutional conflict imo.

+I still want a little nostalgia reunion tour with some favs: Jordan Todd, Morgan (at least a mention! A text thread! A voicemail! A photograph in Emily's office! s o m e t h i n g), Roxy cameo, Grant Anderson, Kate Jackson (her last acting credit was Ambassador Prentiss, very unlikely this would happen but can you imagine!!), Hotch or Jack cameo, Blake, Grandpa Rossi, SERGIO, etc etc etc

+Someone to call Prentiss a fox to her face, she deserves to flirt

+honestly, just a little more Prentiss personal life. I don't even necessarily mean romantic life, just some time in her world where she's not fighting with budgets and silly noodles and giving boss lady exposition. In case it is not clear from my blog, I'm here for Prentiss first and foremost.

+Y'know what also would be Great? An Emily gives Luke advice or shit (or both) about Garcia scene.

+JJ & Emily exchanging meaningful, possibly amused, looks. Context hardly matters to me at this point, since Jemily has long since graduated into the realm of AU/canon divergence. I just like to look at them looking at each other, I'm a simple gal.

+Tara and Rebecca go on a date, smooch, or generally continue to be cute. It's so much fun to see Nicole Pacent again. I first encountered her in the Anyone But Me web series lo these many years ago. That was really important to me at the time it was coming out because I was also coming out around then. Go check it out.

+more hugs all around. Garcia is on the right track there.

[baekhvuns]

Was The Crown good? I'm so behind I didn't realise it came out, pretty sure I haven't finished the previous season 😬

Maybe it's good I don't live in LA, because I would go bankrupt with all the gigs and prices..

I'll start calling you Baeksussy from now on, because you're always up to no good 👀

Literally, because I see people celebrating Taemin's return this month and I'm like "besties, I have some bad news..." unless they surprise us and he comes back early. You know what, I actually don't know who Taemin is???

Me going to see Seonghwa at the night club I came here to drop some money, dropping all my money

Oh yes big accounts are guilty of taking jokes too far and being annoying in general, that's why I have 50% of Atinys blocked akdhiagshahahaa can't stand their asses.

Not stalkers at it again... On a lighter note, Wooyoung paid for Atinys meal, me when. Pay my rent!

You know who should invite Key? Drag Race South Korea, it's apparently happening sooooo

Seonghwa, Ddeonghwa, Hwaseong, Mars, Hwa, Seong so many different personalities. (I set the wallpaper 😭). Truly Seonghwa is genuinely so sweet, nerdy, wholesome, sensitive, smart and sexy too?! He needs to calm down

It's good your friend is using kaddy, it should be much easier! Wish her good luck, may the force be with her. :3

Platinum CEO Hwa in theatres near me? Can he come to my house?

The lacey blouse he's wearing for Paradigm :o we're in danger!!!

Not Seonghwa trying to rename Shinestars again?! What does he have against that name it's so fucking perfect. No Ddeongwives, no Ddeongps.... S H I N E S T A R S

Yes, I'm very into Seonghwa's shoulders and arms era 🥴 and clearly I'm not the only one

Twins AU? But how do you choose :///

Hwa's shoulders are already nice and wide, he wants to commit to the Dorito shape even more 😭 I didn't mind gym lessons, because it meant I could do the bare minimum, but the only thing I do at the gym is exercise my legs (track, bike) lmao. Omfg those exercising games can be fun, but not when the whole school is watching and waiting for you to embarrass yourself 💔

I wonder what's gonna happen in PD3, hope D*sn*t doesn't fuck it up completely

I know a few people who would love to be pulled over by Wonho. Yes, he is!

Uh I think BTS showed up in my dream recently, but only for a second, I was also crying lol

That fucking nose on Hehetmon, Yunho why 😬

"See you later" just like "European dates will be announced soon" right 🤡

Please

Aaaaand we got Sanhwa patisserie!!!

Hongjoong looks cute, but Seonghwa... between him looking like an adorable grandpa, SPREADING, big ass shoes and a tin of crisps I don't know where to look

Me at Seonghwa Kino wife material, lol

I got "full moon lighting up my lovers face"

Bestie, Seonghwa's vlog, so far I saw arms and him flexing his Black Opium perfume.... - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Was The Crown good? I'm so behind I didn't realise it came out, pretty sure I haven't finished the previous season 😬

im at the last ep, and tbh i haven’t moved on them the last season characters esp the queen! but the diana this season is just sOOO 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 its crazy how their facial features rly match! truly the best diana ever. literally.

diana and her pakistani men <33 mr mohammed al-fayed and his friendship with diana >>> and mr dodi is very 🧍🏻‍♀️ ive been quoting this for the past few days and i cannot stop this is an addiction with the fact that i have a sudden urge to speak in their posh accent

Maybe it's good I don't live in LA, because I would go bankrupt with all the gigs and prices..

no seriously 😭😭 every god damn thing just happens there and for it to be so expensive but not even clean is 🔫🔫 its so romanticized too! i feel like one can sign bankruptcy the second they look at a door to a house, bc YOU KNOW THE DOOR BE MAD EXPENSIVE TOO

I'll start calling you Baeksussy from now on, because you're always up to no good 👀

BAEKSUSSY JEGDKWHDKSHKCUKC 😭😭😭 IM SCREAMING

Literally, because I see people celebrating Taemin's return this month and I'm like "besties, I have some bad news..." unless they surprise us and he comes back early. You know what, I actually don't know who Taemin is???

saw a panchoa article saying “idols who’ll return from the military next year” and it said baekhyun and on this date then taemin it said n/a and i lost it,,, i need this man to drop a date we are thirsty. hungry. not breathing.

NO BC ONE OF THOSE WHO BE CELEBRATING IS ME IN MY DELULU 😭😭😭 ur right, who’s taemin? taeyeon’s cousin? taeyong’s brother? no idea.

Me going to see Seonghwa at the night club I came here to drop some money, dropping all my money

LMFAOOOO id waste all my money on him tbh,, as long as the stripper in him continues take my money 🤲🏼

Oh yes big accounts are guilty of taking jokes too far and being annoying in general, that's why I have 50% of Atinys blocked akdhiagshahahaa can't stand their asses.

YEAAHHH its the way ppl dickride them without pointing out where they’re wrong is very 🔫🔫 ur so right on that, blocking and moving on lowkey was glad that twt was gonna seize to exist 😭😭

Not stalkers at it again... On a lighter note, Wooyoung paid for Atinys meal, me when. Pay my rent!

LMFAOOOO FBQKDJWLDKW PAY MT RENT 😭😭 PAY MY TUITION WOOYOUNG JUST GIMME UR ROLEX I WONT ASK FOR ANYTHING ELSE

You know who should invite Key? Drag Race South Korea, it's apparently happening sooooo

STOP. STOP STOP HE’D BE PERFECT STOPPP ID WATCH IT JUST FOR HIM, he’d judge so hard too and without any bias 🤚🏼 if sm sends boa again 😭😭

Seonghwa, Ddeonghwa, Hwaseong, Mars, Hwa, Seong so many different personalities. (I set the wallpaper 😭). Truly Seonghwa is genuinely so sweet, nerdy, wholesome, sensitive, smart and sexy too?! He needs to calm down

he’S SO AGGRAVATINGLY HANDSOME, WHOLESOME no how can someone be a wholesome sexy? how. who tHE FUCK CAN EVEN DO THAT (im so glad u did bc it reminds is of our roots) BESIDE HIM??? WHAT WONDER DID HE DO LAST LIFE TO GET THIS IMMENSE EVERYTHING ???? god’s favourite truly, when is it my turn to BE UR FAVOURITE

It's good your friend is using kaddy, it should be much easier! Wish her good luck, may the force be with her. :3 /// Platinum CEO Hwa in theatres near me? Can he come to my house? The lacey blouse he's wearing for Paradigm :o we're in danger!!!

its really going good for her! thank you for your expertise!! she’s currently stuck trying to get good thank your cards <3 will be making a batch 😭😭 WDYM IN UR HOUSE BESTIE HES THE MAN UR ARRANGED TOO, HES IN UR HOUSE FOREVER <33 WE’RE IN DEEP DANGER. HAHA. he looks like he’s about to star in the house of dragons with that on

Not Seonghwa trying to rename Shinestars again?! What does he have against that name it's so fucking perfect. No Ddeongwives, no Ddeongps.... S H I N E S T A R S

he’s what

Yes, I'm very into Seonghwa's shoulders and arms era 🥴 and clearly I'm not the only one /// Twins AU? But how do you choose :///

if he drops one more photo like that, im quitting kpop 🔫

hear me out, one’s the nerd. the other’s the resident fuckboy or whatever. yn likes the nerd twin (let’s name him hwaseong) and seonghwa (the fuckboy) finds that out and decides to make his mission to tease yn about it bUT they come on an agreement where yn begs seonghwa to help her in getting hwaseong and her together which obviously he’s gonna say no too, but then eventually comes around! and so then it starts,,, he’ll tell her what he likes and just watch yn fuck up dbwmdhsk all while he enjoys <33 tho it’ll def be confusing with using the names 😭😭

Hwa's shoulders are already nice and wide, he wants to commit to the Dorito shape even more 😭 I didn't mind gym lessons, because it meant I could do the bare minimum, but the only thing I do at the gym is exercise my legs (track, bike) lmao. Omfg those exercising games can be fun, but not when the whole school is watching and waiting for you to embarrass yourself 💔

he knows exactly what gets everyone triggered, the dorito bod, the looking so fine in suits, and what’s next. he drives with one hand, does the reverse with one hand? 😀 OH UR LEGS MUST BE TONED AS HELL !!!!! tripped and hurt my knee during one of those <333 felt amazing bc i got to sit out dhsmhdjs

I wonder what's gonna happen in PD3, hope D*sn*t doesn't fuck it up completely

UR RIGHT I HOPE THE STORYLINE STAYS ON POINT AND DOESNT INCLUDE THOSE STUPID JOKES AND REFERENCES FROM SOCIAL MEDIA OR SOMETHING

I know a few people who would love to be pulled over by Wonho. Yes, he is! /// Uh I think BTS showed up in my dream recently, but only for a second, I was also crying lol

i didn’t when read the first part, tell me everything about the last part. ppt format.

That fucking nose on Hehetmon, Yunho why 😬 /// “See you later" just like "European dates will be announced soon" right 🤡

yumho surprises me everyday, i don’t even know how to say this but he’s a true man. a man. men.

Please

id literally die if he gets the mc job, everyday he’s gonna look all pretty and dress up all while im eating glass

Aaaaand we got Sanhwa patisserie!!! /// Hongjoong looks cute, but Seonghwa... between him looking like an adorable grandpa, SPREADING, big ass shoes and a tin of crisps I don't know where to look

seonghwa. FJAKJDKS ADORABLE GRANDPA LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 u think his grandkids would ask him to dance and its him doing bulnoriya while his knees crack but he’s so determined to show them his glory days and the fact that he’s still young. grandpa hwa <3

Me at Seonghwa Kino wife material, lol

male wife ☺️☺️

I got "full moon lighting up my lovers face"

😮😮 a hopeless romantic i see,,, i got sneaking downstairs to get more cake but it turned out to be a very wholesome au that I will write ONE DAY

“you're not even in your double digits, and your best friend who you have a secret crush on came over for your birthday party. it's after midnight, and you decide to sneak downstairs to eat more cake. you're both as silent as you could possibly be, careful not to wake anyone. you scoot a stool over to the counter and crawl up ungracefully, snatching two small pieces of cake and sitting on the floor to eat. you both whisper about what you'd gotten as gifts, and they tell you they have something else that they wanted to give you in private. when you get back to your room, they pull out a small box. you open it to see an action figure, one that looks like you. they tell you they were at toys r us the other day and noticed it was basically a little you, and begged their dad for it. he agreed, and they went home and wrapped it themselves, poorly but effectively.”

Bestie, Seonghwa's vlog, so far I saw arms and him flexing his Black Opium perfume.... - DV 💖

black opium. ysl. model seonghwa. just happens to be the one the yn and hwa endorse! just so happens! haha!

ok but this is so 😭😭😭 they should’ve let him go 😭😭😭 man missing a sibling’s wedding, damn, must be heartbreaking

🙂🙂

me when.

u know if boxer seonghwa was alive, this.

😭😭😭