#mytransition

[childrenofcain-if]

The D scenario was way too sad, author, I'm begging for you to make it up for our sad rockstar cowboy/cowgirl 😭👺

here’s the pt. 1 of this.

the phone call ended with a terrible finality. the sound of D’s voice cutting off mid-sentence felt like a door slamming shut, loud and unmistakable.

you stood in your new york city apartment, one hand still gripping the phone, the other clenched at your side. your heart was racing, every beat a thud of regret, anger, and guilt. the city hummed outside your window, a discordant symphony of car horns and distant chatter, but you barely noticed it. all you could hear was D’s voice echoing in your head, sharp and raw: “i’m here, waiting by the damn phone every night like some—some pathetic—”

you ran a hand through your hair, pulling at the roots as you began pacing back and forth across the narrow strip of space between the kitchenette and the window. the floorboards creaked under your weight, an old building’s way of reminding you it was there, but it couldn’t anchor you.

“what is wrong with me?” you muttered, your voice harsh in the quiet room.

your anger had already started to unravel, leaving only the jagged edges of shame. you replayed the conversation in your head, your own voice rising, defensive and cold. and then D’s, breaking apart in places they hadn’t meant to let you hear.

D wasn’t needy. not really. at least not to you. they were just... D. passionate, fiery, always a little too much and never quite enough, all at the same time. and you—you were a mess in your own way, carrying your ambitions like armor and forgetting, sometimes, to reach out from behind it.

you slumped onto the couch, your elbows on your knees, your head in your hands. this wasn’t who you wanted to be. this wasn’t the kind of partner you wanted to be.

after what felt like hours, you finally sat back, exhaling shakily. the truth was as clear as it was painful: you’d both been wrong. neither of you was handling this well. the distance, the texts, the calls—it was a pressure cooker, and tonight it had finally boiled over.

but you loved D. that thought settled over you like a weight and a balm all at once. you loved them, and love meant showing up, not just when it was convenient, but especially when it wasn’t.

you grabbed your phone, fingers flying over the screen as you pulled up flight options. austin. friday night. it wasn’t exactly cheap, but money wasn’t an issue. you booked the ticket before you could overthink it, the confirmation email lighting up your inbox a second later.

***

the week passed in a haze of classes and half-hearted meals. every time your phone buzzed, your stomach twisted, but the messages were always mundane. updates from classmates, a sale alert from your favorite store. nothing from D.

by the time friday rolled around, you were vibrating with nerves. your luggage was packed and sitting by the door. you made sure your phone was fully charged, and set your alarm two hours earlier than necessary. you checked on your luggage three times before finally locking it and hauling it out of the apartment.

the subway station was crowded, the air thick with the smell of metal and sweat. you stood with one hand on your phone, your other clutching your bag, eyes darting to the mytransit nyc app and the digital displays above to make sure you don’t miss the subway leaving for the airport. five more minutes to go.

and then you saw them.

at first, it didn’t register. just another figure in the sea of commuters near the turnstiles, fumbling with a yellow metrocard at the machine. but then they turned, and your heart stopped.

D.

they looked different here, out-of-place but somehow not. the edges of their leather jacket were fraying, and their doc martens were scuffed, a sharp contrast to the polished shoes and sleek coats of the people bustling around them. but their eyes—those stormy gray eyes you could pick out in a crowd of thousands—were unmistakable.

D saw you at the same moment.

for a second, neither of you moved. the station swirled around you, a blur of noise and movement, but it might as well have been silent.

then, like magnets, you were drawn together. you barely registered your feet moving, barely noticed the way people swerved to avoid you. and then you were there, your arms around D, their arms around you, and it was everything.

the kiss was messy, desperate, and entirely too public. you could feel D’s hands shaking where they gripped your shoulders, could taste the salt of what might have been tears.

when you finally pulled back, your foreheads pressed together, you were both laughing breathlessly.

“w-what are you doing here?” you asked, the words tumbling out between shaky breaths.

D gave a sheepish smile, one hand rubbing at the back of their neck.

“i was coming to see you. i couldn’t—” their voice caught, and they shook their head, trying again. “i couldn’t stand it. i couldn’t stand being apart anymore.”

“i was on my way to the airport,” you said, still holding onto them like they might vanish if you let go. “i booked a flight to austin. i was coming to apologize. to fix this.”

D’s arms tightened around you, their eyes searching yours with an intensity that made your chest ache.

“you don’t need to apologize,” they said, their voice low and rough. “i’m the one who... god, i’ve been a mess without you. i keep overthinking everything, and then i get scared, and then i just—” they broke off, exhaling shakily. “i love you so much, and i’m sorry. for all of it.”

“i love you and i’m sorry too,” you said, reaching up to cup their face. their skin was warm under your palms and the familiar scent of expensive marlboros, leather and cinnamon made your head spin pleasantly. “i should’ve called more. i should’ve—”

“stop,” D interrupted, shaking their head. “we’re both idiots. let’s just agree on that and call it even.”

you laughed, a wet, shaky laugh that felt more like relief than humor. “deal.”

a few people were giving you strange looks as they looked over you two, but you both ignored them. one older woman smiled as she passed, muttering something about young love.

you took D’s hand, threading your fingers through theirs.

“come on,” you said, a grin breaking through the tears. “i can’t wait to show you around the city.”

D huffed a laugh. “don’t know if i’m gonna like it too much,” they said, but their eyes were soft, and their grip on your hand was firm.

“you’ll like it,” you promised. “i’ll make sure of it.”

D glanced at you, their gray eyes soft and full of something that made your chest feel too small.

“maybe,” they said. “but even if i don’t... i’ve already found you here, that alone makes the city tolerable in my book.”

[taruntravell]

15 New York Travel Tips to Save Money and Maximize Time (Epic Guide)

Traveling to New York City can be an amazing experience, but it can also be expensive if you're not careful. To help you save money and make the most of your time in the Big Apple, here are 15 New York travel tips:

Use Public Transportation: The subway and buses are the most cost-effective and efficient ways to get around NYC. Consider purchasing an unlimited MetroCard if you'll be using public transport frequently.

Walk When Possible: Manhattan is a walkable city, and many attractions are close to each other. Walking not only saves money but also allows you to soak in the city's unique atmosphere.

Free Museums: Some of NYC's best museums offer free admission on certain days or evenings. For example, the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) is free on Friday evenings.

CityPASS or Explorer Pass: Consider buying a CityPASS or Explorer Pass to get discounted admission to multiple attractions, including the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, and more.

Free Parks: Central Park and Prospect Park offer a wealth of free activities, from picnics to live performances. Explore these green spaces without spending a dime.

Discounted Broadway Tickets: Visit the TKTS booth in Times Square for same-day discounted Broadway show tickets. You can save up to 50% on top shows.

Eat Like a Local: Avoid eating in touristy areas like Times Square. Venture to neighborhoods like Chinatown or Jackson Heights for affordable and authentic dining experiences.

Food Trucks and Street Vendors: NYC is famous for its food trucks and street vendors. Grab a quick and budget-friendly meal on the go.

Happy Hour Specials: Enjoy drinks and appetizers at discounted prices during happy hour at many bars and restaurants.

Explore Free Attractions: Visit iconic places like Times Square, Rockefeller Center, and the Brooklyn Bridge, which are free to explore and offer great photo opportunities.

Visit Staten Island: Take the Staten Island Ferry for a free ride that offers stunning views of the Statue of Liberty and the Manhattan skyline.

Use Ride-Sharing Apps: If you need to use rideshare services, opt for Uber or Lyft instead of traditional taxis, as they can be more affordable.

Download NYC Apps: Download apps like CityMapper, MyTransit, and Yelp to navigate the city, find deals, and discover local gems.

Shop Smart: Shop at discount outlets like Century 21, T.J.Maxx, and Nordstrom Rack for designer brands at lower prices.

Plan Ahead: Research and plan your itinerary in advance. This will help you make the most of your time and avoid last-minute expenses.

Remember that New York City can be overwhelming, so take breaks, enjoy the sights, and don't rush through your visit. By following these tips, you can experience the city without breaking the bank.

[dudejaxon]

My soul aches, it's torn in two

By a love that I thought was true But now I'm left with nothingness

No home, no love, no tenderness I wander the streets, my heart weighed down

By the emptiness that surrounds With nowhere to go, no place to hide My soul cries out, please let me die

But I know deep down, this isn't the end

There's still hope, there's still a chance to mend

The pieces of my shattered heart So I'll keep on moving, through the pain and the tears

Holding on to the hope that conquers all fears My soul may ache, but it won't give in

For there's a future, beyond this brokenness within.

#Poet #transman #breakup #mutant #spokenwork #poem #poetry #California #homeless #traveler #myjourney #mytransition #mysoul #littlethings #soicaljustice

[cleohno]

Day 2: Feeling cold

[isaidjensen]

Four Weeks on T:

Officially four weeks on T today! Super happy about that. Still scared of the injections, but doing better!

I really only noticed a couple things these past two weeks.

The first is definitely more throat stuff. Lots of gunk in my throat, I have to clear it way more often, especially in the mornings. Plus if I try to talk really high, my voice basically gives up and goes out lol. 

My vocal range has shortened and I can definitely FEEL changes in my throat/vocal chords when I talk, though it’s still not necessarily audible yet.

The big thing has been oily skin though. Like holy shit is my skin oily. I was fine up until about 3 weeks on T and then it basically happened out of nowhere.

I used to be able to go about 3 days or so before my skin would start to feel a bit oily.

Now it’s less than 24 hours and my skin is just oil central. A little more acne has been showing up as a result too, but nothing crazy.

Essentially, my skin is back to being 15.

Other than that, I haven’t noticed any new changes! Definitely ready for my voice to finally start dropping though lol.

[shadowolf19]

November 2015 vs. November 2018 (Pre-T vs. 2 1/2 yrs on T) —— I wasn’t gonna do it because, well, my facial hair game is still almost non-existent, but since I had to shave for Steve I figured might as well join in, so consider this the beginning of #noshavenovember. Incidentally, since today it’s Thursday, here’s a #throwbackthursday picture of me pre-T vs. Saturday after I shaved. Looking forward to a miracle to happen and have a full beard by the end of the month 😂 —— #ftm #gay #ftmuk #ftmgay #transmenofig #transmasculine #transman #transboy #transguy #twoyearsonT #hrt #testosterone #transisbeautiful #thisiswhattranslookslike #queer #mytransition #selfmade #selfmademan #transpride #handsome https://www.instagram.com/p/Bppm8SPFXyl/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=120hutzizq4aa

[departurefromsolitude]

"See you around 6. Wear something slutty!"

Gotta love me some scrubs.

[pakmotivation]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Salman Ijaz (@salamestate)

THING WITH 32 BRAIN'S | ایسی چیز جس کے 32 دماغ ہوتے ہے #trendingnow #eidwitheidi #PakistanZindabad #trending #RealActorChallenge #vintageme #pastvsnow #snackvideopakistan #pakmotivation #surpriseending #MyTransition #FunnySnack #longlivekashmir #CricketPawri #ReplyFansComment #rapchallenge #yourfavouritething #garamande #ramadanfortune #talentspotlight #MyTransition #mylifemychoice #FunnySnack #lovelyme #happinessback #shadowmoves #eidaanewalihai #replyfanscomment #ShadowPose (at Islamabad اسلام آباد) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPLqGSoAl6S/?utm_medium=tumblr

[incognitomiamigo]

5 months on Testosterone and I am feeling alright 👌

[love-like-a-ghost]

Just sent an email to start the process for top surgery

I’ve decided on Dr. Wolf outside of Detroit since that’s super close to me and his work is pretty awesome even on bigger guys like me.

So hopefully within the next 12 months I will be free of da tiddies.

[rainedragamute]

Suppose I'll post this here too. I just started hormone replacement therapy 2 days ago, so I went ahead and took this picture last night to serve as my baseline. I plan on posting updates every month, so I'll go ahead and tag these as #mytransition to keep these posts together on here.

[chelseywaltersrealtor]

I’m glad I’m able to teach inspire and encourage beautiful young women like myself to live without fear and chase after your dreams even if no one doesn’t believe in you always believe in yourself #ForeverGrateful #MyTransition God is not done with me. #MamaWeMadeIt https://www.instagram.com/p/B5IHC3ZhkLx/?igshid=1rpu5sy6ew3s

[cleohno]

Day ???: Okay so... I decided once a day was crazy and that I'd switch to once a week but uh well I forgot soooo

[isaidjensen]

6 Weeks on T:

Okay so not much has changed since my 4 weeks update.

Pretty much just my throat still doing weird things. More gunk, my voice continues to give out easier, and I definitely have a shorter range.

Also, I knew this was gonna happen, but it still totally took me off guard, my sweat smells different now??? 

Like not a crazy difference, but it took me a solid 30 seconds a few days ago to realize that what I was smelling was myself. 

Definitely one of the stranger changes I’ve seen so far, but again, I did know it would happen eventually.

I think I’m going to start doing these updates every month rather than every two weeks since there aren’t as many new changes happening.

So keep an out eye for my 2 months on T update on January 14th :)

[shadowolf19]

Sorry folks I’m gaying it up for summer 2k18 🌈🏳️‍🌈 —- #20gayteen #gayboy #gaypride #gayguy #gayhot #ftm #ftmuk #ftmgay #topsurgery #transmenofig #transmasculine #transman #transboy #transguy #twoyearsonT #hrt #testosterone #transisbeautiful #thisiswhattranslookslike #gay #queer #growingup #mytransition #selfmade #selfmademan #transpride #handsome #ninemonthspostop #100happydays #day20 (at London, United Kingdom)

[pallastrology]

taurus season - transit overview

(Taurus season starts on Tuesday, April 20, and ends on May 21, when the sun enters Gemini.)

- april 20 - sun and mercury enter taurus and form a conjunction, mars in gemini trine jupiter in aquarius. moon in cancer trine neptune in pisces, opposite pluto in capricorn

- april 21 - moon in leo trine venus in aries, square uranus in taurus

- april 22 - venus enters taurus and is conjunct mercury and uranus

- april 23 - moon enters virgo and is trine the sun, mercury, venus and uranus in taurus. mercury is conjunct uranus

- april 24 - mars enters cancer and is sextile the sun in taurus. mercury, venus and uranus in taurus are square saturn in aquarius

- april 25 - moon enters libra and forms a square to mars in cancer

- april 27 - full moon in scorpio, trine mars in cancer

- april 28 - moon in scorpio opposes mercury and venus in taurus, and forms a trine to neptune in pisces

- april 29 - moon enters sagittarius, sun squares saturn in aquarius

- april 30 - moon in sagittarius is square neptune in pisces

- may 1 - moon enters capricorn and opposes mars in cancer. sun is conjunct uranus in taurus

- may 2 - moon is sextile neptune in pisces and conjunct pluto in capricorn

- may 3 - moon enters aquarius

- may 4 - moon is conjunct saturn in aquarius, and square the sun and uranus in taurus

- may 5 - mercury enters gemini. moon is conjunct jupiter in aquarius, and square venus in taurus. venus forms a square to saturn in uranus

- may 6 - moon enters pisces, forms a square with mars in cancer and is sextile saturn in aquarius and the sun and uranus in taurus

- may 7 - moon is conjunct neptune, forms a sextile to venus in taurus and to pluto in capricorn

- may 8 - moon enters aries and forms a square to mars in cancer and a sextile to mercury in gemini. venus is trine saturn in aquarius

- may 9 - the sun forms a sextile with neptune in pisces

- may 10 - moon enters taurus, venus enters gemini

- may 11 - moon is sextile mars in cancer, square saturn in aquarius and conjunct uranus in taurus

- may 12 - new moon in taurus, sextile neptune in pisces and trine pluto in capricorn

- may 13 - sun forms a trine to pluto in capricorn, moon enters gemini and is conjunct venus

- may 14 - jupiter enters pisces. the moon forms a conjunction to mercury in gemini, a trine to saturn in aquarius and a square to neptune in pisces

- may 16 - moon enters cancer and is conjunct mars and sextile uranus in taurus. mercury is square neptune in pisces and sextile saturn in aquarius

- may 17 - moon opposes pluto in capricorn, trines neptune in pisces and forms a sextile to the sun in taurus

- may 18 - moon enters leo and forms a sextile to venus in gemini, and a square to uranus in taurus

- may 19 - moon is sextile mercury in gemini and opposite saturn in aquarius

- may 20 - moon enters virgo, opposing jupiter in pisces and forming a square to the sun in taurus

So what does this mean?

It starts out bright and energetic, a perfect environment to learn and to put into practice what we are learning. Emotionally, we may be feeling a little vulnerable and threatened, but this feeling won’t last; allow yourself to listen to this feeling, and you’ll be able to learn a little something about yourself too. Once this feeling fades, you may be feeling brighter, lighter and more optimistic about your life, and your loved ones too. Stay grounded, and stay true to your goals. Working hard is the theme of the first week, but remember to take care of yourself too. Before the full moon, we might be finding it hard to communicate effectively, and balance our own needs with other people’s.

The full moon in Scorpio will open us up to more intense connections, both with ourselves and others. We may find our emotions get in the way of being able to share honestly, and we might find it hard to judge situations accurately because of past issues that have been simmering beneath the surface while we get on with working on our external goals. Over the next few days we might be feeling restless and dissatisfied, with something within us calling out for a change of scenery. Even if there isn’t much you can do to change your situation right now, look to your long-term goals, and look at little things you can do to make a difference day-to-day. On the first of May, the Moon is opposite Mars, so we might be feeling more confrontational and ready to be more proactive about our situation.

After this, our emotions will be running high. We will be more receptive and aware of the spiritual world, and may be uncovering things we didn’t expect to about ourselves. Although this may not feel positive, it can be a catalyst for positive experiences. It’s important to remind ourselves of what our values are at this point, because we might be feeling lost and experiencing emotional whiplash at times, and it’s easy to react to what’s going on without really thinking or feeling your way through the situation. Taking the time and effort to be with yourself and listen can really pay off later on down the line. After coming out of this period, we might be feeling more talkative with Mercury now in lively Gemini, and more willing to share our ideas and insights too. When it comes to love, we might be conflicted, hesitant and even burned out. It’s okay to take a break from romance if you need one, and it’s okay to let yourself trust others too.

When the Moon enters Aries, we might find ourselves argumentative and frustrated. At least when it comes to love, we might be feeling a little more relaxed than we have done, and this can be a nice outlet for our strong emotions right now. We are sensitive and highly-strung until the Moon enters Taurus and we can relax again, feeling assertive but not confrontational, idealistic, perhaps a little worn out emotionally, and ready to have some fun with Venus now in Gemini. We might find ourselves wanting to let off steam and be a little impulsive. When the new moon in Taurus arrives, we can take a minute to sit down and take stock of everything that’s happened so far during this solar season, and figure out what we’d like to happen throughout the next month. We can finally start to reflect on the deeper moments throughout this month, what we can take with us and what we can let go of.

When the Moon enters Gemini, we can lighten the mood a little. With its conjunction to lovely Venus, we might be feeling like a little pampering session, spending some quality time with a friend, or taking some time for a short adventure. With Jupiter moving into Pisces too, and the Moon flitting from Venus to Mercury, things might be feeling a little “up in the air” and uncertain, leading to some anxiety and overwhelm. This is where it can be really helpful to take some time during the new moon to plan out the next few weeks; it can bring us back down to earth. A few days later, it’s time to cosy up a little bit more. We might be feeling more reserved, finding it difficult to speak our minds clearly, and just wanting some space to be by ourselves. At the same time, we are more inventive right now, so it would be a good idea to record any bright ideas you come by, and perhaps write down your dreams for future reference.

This feeling will last a little longer than perhaps is comfortable, but after a couple of days it will more illuminating than confusing, and we will move with the Moon into Leo knowing ourselves a little better than we did before. Speaking of, this transit will leave us feeling much more cheerful and hopeful than we have done in a while, and with its sextile to Venus in Gemini, we will be playful and ready to engage with other people again! The square it forms to Uranus might have us feeling a little impulsive and not all that loving at times, but it allows us to have some very interesting conversations with friends, and start working on the ideas that came to us recently. Soon afterwards, we will be feeling more communicative again, more open to learning, but perhaps stifled or restricted, either by external factors, or by a lack of confidence or energy to make that first big move. When the Moon enters Virgo, we may feel a bit better equipped for chipping away at our ideas, and the balancing act here will be not getting too carried away during the process. And with that, we’re into Gemini season!