#my world and reach and will to keep going gets smaller by the day <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[seilon]

one of those Gee I Sure Am Empty And Hopeless kinda days <3

[keikikait]

ʟᴏꜱᴛ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ (ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴏɴ x ꜰ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

check out my other rafe series here!

read the prequel series here!

pairing: rafe cameron x f!reader, (not au, both are early to mid 20's)

word count: 4.9k

summary: rafe is late for your date at the island club

warnings: no smut but is suggestive (read at your own risk), handsy rafe, mild violence/fighting, whipped reader & whipped rafe, they go to a restaurant but i don't specify any kind of food, rafe is angry for like 3 seconds but not at reader, mean jj, use of the word 'whore', i don't think they've shown rafe's new place yet so i made one up, i haven't watched all of s4 so if i get shit wrong i'm sorry, not proofread

a note: this was supposed to be short. oops

please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

You and Rafe had date nights every Friday.

It was the only sense of regularity that he had, and he wouldn’t miss it for the world. He would plan it, tell you when and where to be, and you would eagerly oblige. He surprised you with something new every week; one Friday you’re driving across the thoroughfare towards the mainland for a shopping spree, the next Friday you’re on a private yacht watching the sunset. This week, he decided to go for the tried and true; dinner and a movie.

‘6 PM’, he told you, ‘and wear that silk emerald green dress.’ He had to run out for the day, still dealing with the aftereffects of Ward’s death and his departure from Tanneyhill. Trying to sell a giant, 6-bedroom mansion wasn’t as easy as you thought, as most of the residents of Kildare couldn’t afford to buy it from him. He was considering turning it into an Air B&B, a project he would rope you into to help with the interior design. You and Rafe had a new place, another mansion still located in Figure Eight, although this one is much smaller, a Spanish revival you had a lovely time decorating. 

As the afternoon sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the landscape, you found yourself perched upon a solitary bench situated beside the parking lot of The Island Club, the salty tang of the ocean breeze carrying the distant sound of crashing waves. Couples filed into the club, paying you no mind. Even though The Island Club wasn’t far from your new place, Rafe still bought you an Uber, just to make sure you were safe. It was almost 6:15 PM at this point, and every call and text to Rafe went unanswered. You had already informed the staff of his late arrival, ensuring that your reservation would not get cancelled. You check your watch again before standing, walking around the parking lot to check the streets.

Where was he?

You tug your dress down your legs. It was Rafe’s favourite on you, hugging your ass and hips perfectly. It was finally starting to get cold on the island, and even though the black leather jacket you stole from him didn’t exactly go with your outfit, it was keeping you warm. The wind flows through your hair, and you push it out of your eyes, looking down the street, trying to spot him on his bike. You sigh, your shoulders dropping. You turn around to head back to the bench, pulling your phone out of your small purse, ready to call him again.

You’re about to sit down when you hear the revving and rumbling of his dirt bike, pulling into the left side of the parking lot. You sigh, putting your phone away as you walk over to him. You bite your lip when you see him wearing that grey blue waffle-weaved sweater that makes him look delicious. Rafe turns his bike off, pushing the kickstand down before getting off, reaching up to unbuckle the strap of his helmet.

“Hey, handsome.” You say, stepping off the curb and approaching him. You reach out, putting one of your hands on his bicep, fingers slightly digging into the muscle. Rafe pulls his helmet off, keeping it clutched in his hand. His eye and cheekbone were swollen, slightly yellow, and a cut underneath his brow bone marred his otherwise handsome face. The cut was deep, and blood was caked along its edges. It was clear that he had been in a fight, and he had not come out of it unscathed. He winced as you suddenly reach up to touch his cheekbone, a worried look on your face. “What the fuck? What happened?”

Rafe winces as you touch his cheek, pulling back from your touch. He wasn’t in the mood for your coddling. His jaw was clenched tight, his shoulders tense from the fight. He had no intention of telling you what happened, either. You never needed to know about the trouble he was in. He puts his helmet on the seat of his bike and grabs your waist, pulling you in front of him. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, trying his best to keep his voice level so that he didn’t snap at you. He pressed a kiss to your temple, not bothering to conceal the bruises and blood on his knuckles. Was it his or someone else’s, or both?

“Are you okay?” You ask, moving your hand off his bicep to rest on his waist. “Rafe, please tell me.”

His expression hardens as you continue to push. His fingers grip your waist almost painfully tight. “I said, don’t worry,” he repeats, his voice stern. He’d never talked to you like this, and you could hear the warning behind his words. His eyes stare down at you, intense and full of anger, although you’re not quite sure if it’s meant for you. “Let it go.”

You don’t push it, not wanting to anger him anymore. It was supposed to be a nice, relaxing night. You wrap your arms around his waist to pull him into a hug, laying your head on his chest. Rafe hesitates, surprised by the sudden display of affection, but then he wraps his strong arms around you, pulling you in close. He buries his nose into your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo, and for the first time that night, his shoulders finally drop, his whole body relaxing. He squeezes you tight to his chest, his chin resting on the crown of your head. 

He remains silent as he pulls away slightly, looking down at you. He keeps one arm wrapped around your waist, his hand gripping your side as his other hand flies to your neck. His grip is loose, but his thumb presses against your pulse — a small habit he picked up after he started dating you. In his own words, it’s a way to calm him down and to remind himself that you were safe.

Rafe sighs, pressing kisses to your forehead before leaning his against it, rubbing your pulse back and forth as it races under your skin. His voice is soft when he finally speaks, “I’m fine. Just ran into a problem.”

“What kind of problem?” You ask, rubbing your hand up and down his side.

“Nothing you need to be worrying about, sweetheart,” Rafe mumbles, still keeping his head pressed against yours. Rafe never used pet names with anyone else, but with you, it felt different. His eyes drift down to your lips, unable to resist. They were a faint shade of red, glossy and puffy from your bites, just as he liked them. “Just some shit with JJ and John B. I handled it.” He leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips, the hand on your neck moving to cup your cheek. Even as he pulls away, he keeps your body pressed against him. “Let’s not let this ruin our night, alright?”

“Are you sure?” You ask, brushing your thumb across his abs. “We can go home and order in if you want. I don’t want you to feel compelled to go out tonight.”

“Baby, I’m fine,” he murmurs, his voice soft. He understood where you were coming from, but only you would ever try to get out of a very expensive date because you thought he was too tired. “I got reservations for a reason. I don’t plan on missing our date night just because of a little fight.” The hand on your waist moves to the small of your back, pressing your body closer to his. He’d planned out everything for tonight. A fancy meal, followed by a quiet movie night at your place, then ending the night with his face buried between your legs, your wrists bound to the headboard. He didn’t want to ruin a date night that both of you were looking forward to. 

You sigh, but don’t push it. You didn’t want to ruin the date with an argument. You grab his hand, careful not to brush across his shredded knuckles, before leading him towards the entrance. “If you change your mind, let me know.”

Rafe rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but smile a little bit at your persistence, thankful that you cared. He follows behind you, his strides matching yours. He winces a little bit when you grab his hand, his knuckles stinging from the fight, but he doesn’t dare let you know that. 

He holds the door open for you when you reach the entrance, waiting for you to go through before he follows behind, placing on hand on your lower back as you walk. His eyes drifted down to your ass, and he had to stop himself from reaching out and smacking it. Now that his father was dead, he had to try to keep the Cameron image clean and pristine at The Island Club. They weren’t fans of him to begin with.

You head through the small entrance, moving to wait in line for the hostess stand. The country club was pretty packed, a common occurrence for a Friday night. The couple in front of you were older, and the woman's eyes soften as she looked over her shoulder and spotted Rafe. 

He kept his hand on your lower back, not trying to hide the fact that you were both together. His eyes stayed locked with the older woman in front of you, not surprised to have already been discovered by one of the regulars. He could see the woman’s concern from a mile away, her expression shifting when she saw the scrapes and bruises on his face. Rafe sighed, his jaw clenching in annoyance. Even here, he couldn’t get away from his reputation. His hand started to rub small circles into your back, silently trying to soothe himself more than you.

The woman whispers to her husband before turning around again. “It’s Rafe, right?”

Rafe raises an eyebrow at the elderly woman, a hint of a scowl on his face as his eyes meet hers. He gives her a small nod, although he doesn’t feel like talking to a regular at The Island Club right now. He wanted nothing more than to spend the evening alone with you. “Yes, ma’am,” His response is short and brief. “That’s me.”

“I was a friend of your father,” The woman says. “We were business partners a few years ago. I’m sorry for your loss, Rafe. My condolences.” 

Rafe’s expression changes as soon as the woman mentions his father. He knew that most people from The Island Club had been friends with his old man and business partners with him. Hearing condolences for his father had become a regular part of his routine, but that didn’t mean he liked hearing about his father’s death every single time. His hand on your lower back tightens, pulling you a bit closer to him. He gives her a forced smile, trying his best to look polite. “Thank you, ma’am,” he responds, his voice stiff.

The woman smiles softly before turning back around, stepping forward towards the hostess stand. Rafe’s hands traveled from your hips to your lower back, pulling you closer to him. He was lost in reality, almost as if he didn’t want to admit to himself that his life was fundamentally changing. His father was dead, and his relationships with his remaining family were ruined. But he had you, and that’s all that matters to him right now.

You lean your head against his chest as you wait, hands wrapped around his bicep, rubbing it lightly with your thumb.

Rafe sighs as you lean against him, his hand on your lower back drifting down to cup your ass. He could only hope that the other patrons wouldn’t notice, although he didn’t really care that much. But that woman was going to tell everyone about how rough he looked tonight, and he knew that some people would have comments about that, too. Rafe lowers his head to speak in your ear, although his voice is quiet enough that only you could hear. “Can’t wait to get you home,” he murmurs.

"Yeah? You excited for me to get on my knees for you?" You ask. Just as Rafe had been thinking about you all day, you had been thinking about him. You couldn’t wait to sink to the floor in front of him, your hands eagerly unbuckling his slacks before letting him fuck your face. Your favourite part, though, was the way he gripped your hair and moaned as he cummed down your throat.

Rafe sighs, groaning low in his throat as your words go straight to his cock. He’d always loved it when you talked like this, even if you were in private or texting. He didn’t want you to talk to anyone else like that. You were his. “Mmm, I’m more excited to see your face when you ride me,” he mumbles, moving closer so that his mouth is right next to your ear, still careful to keep his voice low. He wanted to take you home right now, but he had been looking forward to this dinner all week, and he knew you were too.

The older couple in front of you step away, being led by the hostess to their table. You approach the stand, and you smooth out the front of your dress as you wait. Although Rafe was used to the rich life full of country clubs, cotillion and croquet, you weren’t. You wanted to make a good impression on the staff of The Island Club.

Rafe stands tall and proud as you both step up to the hostess stand, his arm still wrapped around your waist, his hand resting on the small of your back. He glances down at your dress, taking in every detail of your appearance. You looked absolutely stunning in that dress, and it was taking all of his self-control to not get hard right now. The way you anxiously chewed on your lip, the way your hair was shining in the ambient lighting of the country club, the way you wore the ‘Rafe’ name necklace he bought you…he loved everything about you. He tugged you closer, loving the way you put a hand on his stomach as you leaned against him. You both had matching gold rings, engraved with your anniversary, yours on your forefinger while his sat on his thumb. 

The hostess looks up to greet both of you. She glances down at the reservation book for just a moment before nodding, a polite smile on her face. “Mr. Cameron,” she says. “Your table is ready.” She gathers two menus before leading you through the dining room towards the more private, member’s only area of the country club.

Even though you had been dating Rafe for a while, almost a year, you were always surprised by his influence. He had everything he ever wanted at the tips of his fingers, and because you were dating him, you got those luxuries too; endless shopping trips, a house full of anything you could dream of. And a handsome boyfriend, of course.

As you walk behind the hostess, Rafe’s fingers intertwine with yours, holding your hand tight. He was aware of all the eyes on him, as you could hear the whispers and murmurs from their fellow patrons, knowing they were all aware of the fight with John B and JJ, and the rumors were probably already spreading like wildfire. The hostess leads you to a secluded corner with a single table set for two, two candlesticks illuminating the table with a warm glow. 

“Thank you,” Rafe mumbles to the hostess as his eyes drift towards the far corner of the room. He lets go of your hand with some reluctance, before holding the chair for you at the small booth. He was thankful for the secluded booth, knowing it was going to be easier to touch you under the table. Rafe slides in next to you, reaching over to grab your knee, stroking his thumb softly back and forth. He wanted to put his hand on your throat to feel your pulse again, but he didn’t think that the patrons and staff would like that.

You thank the hostess, setting your purse down in the empty space next to you. As the hostess walks away, Rafe’s hand slips under the skirt of your dress, grabbing onto your inner thigh and rubbing back and forth. His touch is featherlight, just the lightest graze of skin against skin, although he can feel all the heat from your skin. 

He picks up the menu from the table, pretending to scan the food while his hand caresses you. He leans in toward you, although his eyes are still scanning the menu. “Do you know what you want to eat, sweetheart?”

“You.” You say immediately, flipping the menu over to look at the other side.

Rafe can’t help but let out a slight chuckle at your immediate response, his hand on your thigh stopping for a moment. His eyes finally look up at you from the menu, an amused look on his face. “Mmm, not yet, baby, but you’ll get it later. Promise,” he grins, his eyes drifting back down to the menu as his hand starts to rub against you again. “And for the main course?”

You sigh, glancing over the options. You didn’t really love any of the dishes on the menu, but you weren’t opposed to eating any of them. Rafe wraps his large, warm hand around your inner thigh and squeezes, yanking you a bit closer. It’s a simple gesture, but it makes your head spin, your brain shutting down for a split second. You purse your lips as you read before looking away, shifting in your seat. “You pick.”

He can see the way your body reacts to his touch, and it satisfies him to know that he can still affect you like that. It just makes him more eager to get you back home tonight. His fingers press into your thigh when you move closer to him, but he quickly loosens his grip when the waiter comes up to your table. 

He finally decides what he wants for the main course, and he orders for the both of you. His hand slides down your thigh, finally withdrawing, although he places his palm flat against your skin, resting his hand just below the edge of your dress. You sip on your drink as you wait for your food, feeling Rafe’s hand travel up your thigh again, as if he couldn’t resist. After the waiter walks away, Rafe’s focus turns back towards you, and he glances around the room to make sure nobody was watching. Seeing as everyone around him seemed to be doing their best to ignore him, he felt comfortable enough to continue his touch. His hand moves from your thigh to your hip, pulling you closer to him. “I like this dress on you,” he murmurs, his eyes raking over your body.

“Thank you,” You say as his hands travel up higher. “You look really good, baby.” You reach out and place your hand on his bicep, squeezing it. You couldn’t resist. He always looked good, but something about the way he looked in that fucking blue sweater and grey slacks made you go crazy, wanting to put your hands all over him and your mouth on his cock.

He gives you a smirk as your hand wraps around his upper arm, and he leans back into his chair. Your praise always brought out the cocky, arrogant side of him, and he absolutely loved when you told him how good he looked. His ego always needed a boost. He flexes the muscle underneath your hand, and it ripples underneath his sweater. “Yeah? You like this, don’t you?” He grins.

You nod, your mouth going dry. It was so hard to concentrate, all you wanted to do was shut your brain off and let him take control for the night. He knows exactly what effect he was having on you, and he loved seeing the effect that he could have on your body just from a little flex. “You feeling needy, baby?” He mumbles, his fingers pressing against your panties, right over your clit. You suck in a breath, gripping his sleeve to try to ground yourself. You nod.

The smirk stays plastered on his face as his palm squeezes tightly on the soft flesh of your inner thigh. He can see the way your shoulders tensing, knowing that you were trying your best to keep yourself from writhing in your seat. “Soon, sweetheart. We just gotta get through dinner,” he mumbles, although he wanted nothing more than to take you home right now and ruin you, make you cum over and over until you cry.

The waiter approaches with your food, setting everything on the table. It snaps you back to reality, and you move your glass so he can put your plate in front of you. As the waiter sets the plates down, Rafe reluctantly pulls his hand away from you. His hand goes to pick up his fork, although the movement is absent-minded. His eyes stayed focused on you, and the only thing he could think about was getting you home and alone. Eventually, he forces his eyes away from you and to his food. His other hand moves behind your lower back, resting his palm flat against the exposed skin, his pinky finger playing with the waistband of your panties.

You struggle through dinner, your thighs pressed together. The food was delicious, and you and Rafe spent a good amount of time talking about your plans for Tanneyhill, all the while he was brushing his fingers along your inner thighs and your panties. He was doing it on purpose, trying to rile you up, and it was working. You eat as quickly as you can, snatching your purse and  dragging him out of the restaurant after paying and leaving a tip.

You rush towards his bike, and he can’t help but chuckle at how desperate you are. He spins you around, pulling you against his chest. “Relax, baby. We’ll be home soon.”

You whine. “I need it, Rafe.”

Your whine was like music to his ears. His hand goes to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip. His eyes are dark with lust as he looks down at you. “You’ll get it.” He says, grabbing his helmet and pushing it over your head. He secures the strap under your chin, kissing your nose. He climbs onto the bike, pushing the kickstand up.

“Do you have a helmet?” You ask, fiddling with it. It was definitely too big for your head.

“Nah,” He says, looking at you over your shoulder as you climb on, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I don’t need one, baby. I’m a professional. It’ll be fine, just hold on tight.”

“Rafe,” You say, your eyebrows furrowing with worry. “Are you sure?”

Rafe sighs as he places his hands on the handlebars, hearing the tone of worry in your voice. “Sweetheart, I swear, it’ll be fine. The house isn’t far,” he sighs, shaking his head and starting the engine. “I’ll go slow, okay? Just hold on tight and don’t let go. You’ll be fine, baby, I promise.”

You have no choice but to listen to him, tightening your grip around him, your purse squished between his back and your chest. “Okay.”

He nods slightly before reaching down to grab your thighs, pulling your body to fully press against his. He wants to be able to feel your skin against his. He doesn’t say anything else as he starts to drive, slowly making his way out of the parking lot. He had been through worse. He could handle a simple drive home without a helmet.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

You pull up into the driveway of your house, safe and sound. You wait for Rafe to pop the kickstand down and turn the bike off before standing, putting your purse back on your shoulder. You reach up, unclipping the helmet before pulling it off, shaking your hair out.

Rafe climbs off of the bike, gently letting go of the handles just in case it came tumbling. He bites his lip before reaching out, grabbing your waist and pulling you to him, his other hand immediately coming up to cup your neck. “You were worried for nothing, baby,” he murmurs, gently pressing his lips to yours. You kiss him back, your hands flying to his waist, lost in the feeling of his tongue on yours.

“‘Bout time y’all showed up.”

You and Rafe pull away, glancing down your driveway.

JJ and John B hop out of JJ’s van, parked right against the curb.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You ask, your hands dropping from their spot on Rafe’s stomach. Rafe’s grip on you tightens, feeling you pull away. His eyes are narrowed as he looks at JJ and John B as they approach the two of you.

“What, you two on a date? Couldn’t even invite us?!” JJ laughs, his hands shoved into his pockets. You thought that Rafe looked awful, but it’s clear that he had the upper hand during his fight with JJ and John B. JJ looks terrible, his eye bruised and almost swollen shut, the side of his face scratched up like he fell onto gravel. John B has a split lip and a deep purple bruise on his eyebrow, his knuckles caked with dried blood.

“Wow, JJ. You look like shit,” You say, unable to hold back. “You already got your ass beat, are you back for more?”

JJ glares at you, his hands tightening into fists in his pockets. “Careful where you run your mouth, slut,” he growls, taking a step towards you. 

That’s all it takes to piss Rafe off.  “Watch your mouth,” he growls. He steps in front of you, blocking JJ’s path.

You just laugh, unable to take him seriously. You push past Rafe, shoving your purse into his chest. “Excuse me?”

JJ stares directly at you, his expression turning into a scowl. “Careful, you don’t want to fall back into old habits. You’re just a little whore for all of the Pogues,” JJ growls, and John B puts a hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to shut up, but it isn’t enough for JJ to back down. He takes another step forward, his eyes locked on you and your face.

Everything happens quickly after that.

Before you could say another word, Rafe is launching himself at JJ, grabbing the collar of his shirt and throwing him against the side of his van. JJ tries to land a punch, but Rafe’s faster. He just keeps landing punches, one after the other, not letting up for a second. John B. jumps on Rafe, trying to hold him back, but it isn’t enough.

You quickly rush over, grabbing the back of Rafe’s sweater, tugging him backwards. “Stop. They aren’t worth it, Rafe.” His fist is raised, and he turns to look at you, hearing the panic in your voice. He freezes when you call out to him, and John B. jumps off of his back. 

The air is tense, everything is still and dead silent. All you can hear are their heavy breaths, and John B is holding onto JJ, preventing him from attempting to start another fight.

“If either of you ever come back here,” You walk towards them, getting up in JJ's face. “I'll bury you.”

JJ doesn't back off, and he glares down at you, a cruel smirk on his face.  “You gonna do it yourself?” JJ stands up, still being held back by John B. “Sweet, helpless little thing like you? Or are you just gonna try and hide behind your boyfriend?” His eyes trail down your body as his smirk grows, his teeth stained with blood.

You consider hitting him. You really do. But you know that JJ wouldn’t be scared to hit you back, and you really didn’t want to ruin this dress.

You step back before spitting on him.

A mixture of fury and shock shoots through JJ’s whole body, his face grimacing. “You bitch, I’ll fucking—“ JJ snaps, and he starts to come at you. John B grabs onto him, holding him back, but he’s barely able to restrain JJ, trying to calm him down.

You turn around, walking away from him, back towards your house. “Take your little bitch ass back to The Cut.” 

“You little whore, did you forget where you came from? Did you forget who you used to whore yourself out to?” JJ says, still fighting against John B’s grip on him. “You’re gonna regret that someday, you hear me? Someday you’ll have no one to protect your pathetic little ass, and I’m gonna be there, laughing at you. Just watch.”

Rafe starts to walk towards JJ and John B again, but you wrap a hand around his forearm, pulling him back. “Baby, stop. He’s not worth it.” You look up at him, trying your best to get him to calm down. 

JJ finally stops trying to shake John B off, realizing that he isn’t going to be able to land a hit on you, no matter how badly he wants to. “You’re lucky you’re not with the Pogues anymore. I’d teach you some manners,” he calls after you.

You drag Rafe back inside as JJ and John B get back into JJ’s van, the tires screeching as they drive away.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

★taglist: @ietss, @momoewn, @blairsblg (italics means i couldn’t tag you!)

if you would like to be tagged for any future parts (if i make them), please reply to this post!

part two is here!

[sscieloz]

Mystery of Love

Hirai Momo x Member!reader

Synopsis: the group’s comeback is approaching. There’s a full day of shootings waiting ahead of you. You should rest, but you can’t sleep.

Warnings: hurt/comfort. reader talks about her feelings.

Word count: 2.5k

Notes: I AM STILL HERE ! not my best, but still ^^

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5 | Pt.6

—

Sometimes your thoughts were so loud inside your head you were sure everyone could hear them too. 

They were constant reminders of how everything was wrong in your life. The way you dealt with your loved ones, your daily routine, the way your brain worked, the words you chose to use in a conversation… everything was just deeply wrong. It was a constant reminder of how much you managed to mess up by just existing.

You could feel the familiar feeling starting to cripple your skin, followed by a million needles poking you at the same time. Yet, you knew that no matter how much you scrubbed, scratched, and hurt yourself, such feelings would never disappear. 

Said knowledge doesn’t keep you from running your nails all over your arms and abdomen, of course. At least the burning sensation was a vivid reminder that you was still hanging on. You were still alive; in Seoul, at the dorms, existing. You were not a ghost, and there was still hope. 

Like a mantra, you whispered the words in the dark, running your hands through your face to calm yourself down. The pressure worked, but that uneasy feeling still lingered, guilt-tripping your guts.

It’s been nearly six months since the episode, shouldn’t you feel any better already? You’ve been following your diet religiously, attending therapy twice a week, and working on reaching out whenever you felt one of your crises coming up— yet it seemed like it was all in vain. Despite all of your efforts, you still felt so wrong. 

How scary is it, to know that the anxiety was carved deep in your bones as part of who you were? 

Terrifying, indeed. 

You’ve done a great job convincing the girls of your progress, reassuring them there was no need to push their first comeback of the year. You told them it was fine to attend photoshoots, rehearsals, mv shootings, and go through promotions without fuss. 

Which was the truth, in a way. The staff were always kind and understanding to you, kind as they encouraged you to take short breaks after every hour or so. You felt seen, along with the strength and protection your unnies provided.

However, going to any pre-recorded events was still something scary. Especially one as important as Music Bank, where Onces would be ogling you with such attentive eyes. Not judging, naturally, but staring with their eyes full of hope… you couldn’t disappoint them, either. Not your fans, who loved you unconditionally, and your sisters, who have been nothing but patient and protective throughout these last months. They’ve done so much for you, who had nothing to give in return. 

Naturally, the girls would understand if you chose to be absent. They’ve told you so repeatedly, reassuring situation is completely understandable and that it’s incredible that you’re even participating in the comeback, but you know how much it hurts them to not be complete as a group. Without you, something is missing, even if it’s hard to understand what you could possibly add to these women, who already have everything. 

Joining them in their comeback was an honor, and you wouldn’t skip it for anything in the world. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do to have your unnies happy. 

The van will pick you up in the morning, so they’re all currently resting. And you’re exhausted— crushingly so, which is an easy thing to notice with no more than a quick look. Your new sleeping pills did not make the bags under your eyes go away, and you’re still bony, a shallow of the smiley, reserved maknae you once were.

Once again, your breaths grow rapidly, the pitch-black ceiling getting smaller with each passing minute, shrinking enough to trap your body inside the walls of your bedroom. You try to control your breathing by taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, just like your unnies usually do. Your apartment is too high up to hear the whistle of the trees or the noise of crickets, but somehow the stars in quiet night are enough. Those same stars, shining so bright in the late hours, remind you so much of the girls whom you share a home and a life with— your most loved ones, your soulmates. Let us in, Y/n, please. Let us help. they begged you, so loud in their silence. It pained them to give you space, as you’re well aware. If they could, they’d just wrap you up in a bubble and protect you from any sorrows. 

If only they could. 

You’re not alone. You don’t have to struggle by yourself. You can come to us.

With that in mind, you drop your covers and leave your bedroom, walking to the corridor in quiet, unhurried steps. It’s only once you reach the third room on the left that your long, delicate fingers brush the door, with barely any force. It opens easily, thanks to their no-locking policy, and you observe the room for a moment before settling in. 

Momo and Nayeon share a bedroom, just like old times. The room is vast— big enough for two queen-sized beds, and visibly messy. Clothes hang everywhere, either on the ground or left in a pile in some of the open drawers. You squint your eyes to adjust yourself to the darkness and notices the nail supplies cluttered on their tea table. Letters, legos, stuffed animals… so many objects that make you nearly lose balance many times, as you make your way to a pitch-black dot lost amidst the thick covers of Momo’s fluffy bed. 

You don’t mind, though. If anything, you find yourself giggling quietly, amused by how the pair had turned the bland room into a home within a few weeks. 

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the members to accustomed to living together once again. It had been years since they’d decided to live apart, but your episode had made them make the decision almost immediately. You needed them, so they’d be there for you 24/7, guarding and offering their best support. Sure, your new apartment was much more luxurious and spacious than any of their old dorms, but it was just as cozy and filled with love. 

And you needed that. You didn’t think so, naturally— fiercely advocating against their decision, terrified of making your bandmates change their lifestyle because of yourself, but they gave you no choice. In fact, you felt much like a baby as they moved things over and over, sitting down on the big couch while they did all the boring and hard work. 

It was nice to have the house noisy again, you noted. After so many years of living by yourself, you discovered you liked a little bit of chaos, especially those that came from your loved ones. You needed that. Once again, your unnies proved that they knew you best. 

You moved carefully to not wake Momo up, even though the dancer sleeps like a rock. Lifting the covers, you lowered your body until you were lying down in your unnie’s bed, staring at the older woman’s soft features. 

Momo was perfect in every way, and she was so _strong_, too. Not only with her toned muscles, she was a true pillar, taking care of her members so subtly they barely noticed. They were all drawn to her when things got rough. With her sleepish smile and round eyes, her easy laugh was like a beacon on a heavy storm. Talking to her was not only easy, it felt so freeing. You would always forget about your troubles for a few minutes, whenever they were together.

Without even noticing, your eyes start to water—you were so loved, and what for? What have you done to deserve such a honorable feeling? It’s hard to suppress your hiccups as tears start to water Momo’s pillow. Then, almost instinctively, Momo’s arms are around you, holding and bringing you closer until your noses are nearly touching. 

You focus on Momo’s eyes, which are still only half-open, and on the sounds she makes, purring as she tries to shake the sleep from her body so she can stay awake. Her hand goes to your hair immediately, fingers running through your scalp in circles. The delicate movements of Momo’s fingers differ from your usual clumsiness, but it’s so soothing that you calm down immediately.

“Can’t sleep, baby?” You shake your head at the sound of her raspy voice, with trembling lips. Momo knows the crying will soon get worse if she doesn’t do anything, so she holds you closer, her grip extra strong, “No no, don’t cry. It’s okay, you’re okay… we’ll help you.”

It’s a routine you’re used to, by now. At first, it made Momo nervous to see you in such agony, sobbing so hard you choked over nothing, desperate for air. Then, Mina explained to her that it was a way of releasing the heavy feelings you kept bottled up for so long, which put Momo’s nerves a little bit at ease. Still, it broke her heart to see you hurting. Her sweet little maknae, who’s always been so, graceful, and quiet…

Yet, Momo couldn’t do anything to take all this pain from your chest. She’d take it all in a blink, were that possible. She’d take all of your sorrows and keep them to herself. 

Instead, Momo brushes the wet strands of your hair away from your face, greeting you with a sleepy smile. “Hello, baby girl. Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

Your nod is so subtle Momo finds herself brushing her eyes, wondering if she’d imagined it. There’s a big pause, and the dancer starts to drool as she fights sleep to listen. 

“I…” You speak, and it’s like you’re a trainee all over again: small and anxious and so filled with doubts all you want to do is curl up and disappear forever. You gulp hard to suppress another sob. “I c-an’t do it, unnie. Music bank, tomorrow. I can’t. It’s just, there will be so many people and so many cameras and the fans don’t  know I’m weak, and if I fuck the group’s image once again we’ll never be invited to anything ever and it’s going to be all my fucking faul—" 

You bury your head in Momo’s chest, unable to look at the dancer as you open up your fresh wounds. It hurts to know the amount of hate and backlash they group has gotten because of your scandal. You still didn’t even know who leaked your hospital chart, but JYP did a good work of putting it all under the carpet. And to make all of the denying real, you had to look put together to the public. 

You don’t remember the last time you looked like anything but a crystal piece of art, full of cracks and ready to shatter into a million pieces. 

Lithe fingers touch your skin once again, moving without rush to not startle or overwhelm you. Momo knows what you need: her presence alone is already so comforting. You get a glimpse of her short, black nails as the older girl runs them over your arms, then your torso. 

“Do you want to try mirroring my breathing, baby? You always do it so well.” She asks and you nod immediately. With your face against Momo’s chest, you follow the rhythm of your unnie’s heartbeats, focusing on that alone. “That’s it, dear. Good Job.” 

Everything is suddenly pitch black: there’s only Momo’s loving embrace and the way your bodies are naturally tangled, so close to each other that two become one and your sorrows slowly dissipate amidst the warmth. Love does heal, you’re proof of that. You know so because, even if your progress isn’t nearly as you’d envisioned it, it’s still there. You’re slowly working to recovery, no matter how much your stubborn self denies it. And it’s much due to their help: your bandmates, your loves.

Momo’s thumbs brush your cheeks, washing your tears away as the minutes turn your crying into faint sniffles. “You’ve been so brave, Y/n. I’m serious. All the effort you’ve been pouring into our new comeback… it’s impressive. But please, please know you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel ready to do. We can wait, baby.”

And you knows they won’t pressure you by any means. Although sometimes, you wish they did. 

“I know, it’s just…” You sigh, untangling yourself from Momo so you can press your elbows onto the bed and run your hands all over your face, huffing with frustration. “I want to do it, unnie. I really do. I just don’t want to break in front of everyone and destroy our group’s image.” 

I don’t want to disappoint you again.

That’s what it was. Frustrating and tiring, to feel so unsure over something you’ve done a thousand times before.

“Y/n, look at me.” The dancer’s tone is imposing, so commanding you have no choice but to oblige immediately. “You’re the strongest person I know, and I admire you so much. We see you trying every day, baby, and it’s where we find our strength, too,” She adds, just as quietly, “On seeing you try. It makes me— makes us try to be better every day, too. For you. We love you, so much. And if it’s what you want to do, we’ll be with you every second of it.” 

How could you inspire them? It doesn’t seem possible. Not when you’re so weak, vulnerable and a complete mess. Your unnies are all so graceful and certainly much better at everything they do. You don’t understand Momo’s words, but it’s late, and you’re too tired to ask. So you simply nod, trying hard not to pout. 

It’s a different kind of sadness, one of not being able to give what your unnies so desperately want. The hopelessness is carved so deep in your bones you can’t do anything but sigh, shuffle, and turn until you’re staring at the ceiling and your hands are hidden under the covers, so Momo doesn’t notice how much they tremble.

“You can’t give me what I need.” You can’t fix what’s broken inside. You want to scream. I think I can’t, either.

“I can’t. I’m sorry for that.” She stops, staring down at you. Her dark orbs are filled with nothing but the purest form of love as she kisses your forehead and whispers, because it’s just the two of you together and the night is quiet, ever so private. “But I can love you.”

Those same loving arms evolve you again, and no more words are spoken. You don’t need to say anything else— no words suffice, not in any language. For now, Momo and you grow content falling asleep together, soothed by each other’s breathing and the promise of taking one step at a time. 

In Momo’s arms, you feel safe, respected, and loved. You fall asleep thinking you might be able to go through all of this, as long as you’re together.

[strrykais]

lie with you - not a date 📖

word count 1k.? (i lost track)

jisung was shitting bricks. he rarely has people come into his sanctuary, and much less girls. he has only had a total number of 3 girls in here. one his mom, two his ex and the last was you.

you made jisung really nervous, he fully couldn’t understand why. he kind of just pinned it on his social anxiety and went along his day. you were always so kind to him and you never really pushed him to do things that made him uncomfortable. in all honesty it started the day yall got stuck in the elevator. thats when the little feeling in his stomach started to form.

so with 7:30 creeping up on him, jisung is pacing the apartments living room trying to calm his beating heart.

“ji you okay? you look like you are gonna throw up.” donghyuck says walking out the smush room getting it ready for his one nighter.

“yeah im fine.” jisung quickly dismisses donghyuck wiping his sweaty hands on the front of his jeans.

“don’t be so nervous its just yn. you will be fine.” he says patting his hand on jisungs shoulder. “its almost 7:30 you should probably head down there.”

“yeah you are right. it will be fine!” jisung wasnt so convinced. grabbing his belongings, he ops to take the stairs to buy him some more time before he had to face the music.

the knock on the door doesn’t even catch you by surprise. jisung was always punctual, so when you opened the door the wind blowing the small pieces of your hair back, you give a bright smile to jisung on the other side.

“come in, let me grab my jacket. im not sure how cold you keep it in the studio!” you say with a big smile of excitement. you loved that jisung was letting you into his art life. you wanted to show him you cared so of course when he offered the opportunity to see his studio you couldnt say no.

the walk to jisung’s studio was quiet, but in a calming way. jisung was too focus on not making a fool of himself. he was worried he would say the wrong thing and have you running for the hills. but he knew you would never especially when you basically watched him embarrass himself in the elevator last time.

you were more focus on your boyfriend, he hasn’t messaged you back since you told him you were helping out a friend. was he upset? mad at you? you weren’t sure why. you both could of been together tonight but when work calls he always answers. before you could go further into self doubt jisungs smooth voice pulls you out.

“im sorry were you saying something?” you asked. jisung gives you a small smile, pointing up at the skies the beautiful reds, pinks and blues mixing. “my favorite part of the day, its always been my favorite to paint.”

“crazy because this is my favorite time too. right before the stars come out.” jisung gives out a breathy laugh leading the both of you to what you assume is the studio.

it was a lot smaller than you envisioned it, in the corner sat a desk with scattered sketches and charcoal. on the other was an unfinished painting of a beautiful sunset.

“its cozy in here” you say breathing in the smell of the chemicals of the paint he had left out which now was hard as rock stuck to the palette.

you continued to walk around the studio jisung close behind. the last of the sun shinning through the large windows showing the outside world. you suddenly stop, causing jisung to slightly bump into you. he mumbles out a sorry but you didn’t hear him your eyes caught something.

“you haven’t used the paintbrushes i got you? they are nice you should use them!” you say reaching out to softly touch the bristles.

rubbing the back of his neck, jisung nervously laughs. “yeah i didnt want to ruin something like this. it was from you and i wanna treasure it.”

you smile at him “its a gift for you to use, if you really mess them up that bad ill just get you some new ones okay?”

“promise?” jisung helds out his pinky. you glance down at his much larger hand and wrapped your smaller pinky around his “promise.”

jisung smiled and lead you to the desk of unfinished charcoal drawing, “im working on shadowing with charcoal wanna be model” he says looking at you while you stare at the beautiful drawings he had laid around.

“yeah how do you want me.” you perked up ready to listen to whatever jisung said. ears turning red, he leads you to a stool and sits you down.

you guys hung out well past midnight chatting and playing around in his studio. he showed you the art in mastering charcoal drawings and on the way home you showed him the star constellations in the sky.

previous | masterlist | next

a/n : i was eating in the first half… maybe writing isnt for me. this was kinda bad….

tags : @onlyhyunjin

[strawurberries]

Oh my god! Berry I had an idea and I had to come running to you with it cause I thought you'd enjoy it too (and cause your writings awesome) but,

A Soulmate AU where you can hear the other person's thoughts?

With Vash, Wolfwood and nai please! (Separate obviously cause I honestly think having all three as soulmates would just be too much xD)

Whether headcannons or a little scenario thingy I leave up to you 😁

Hope you have an awesome day! - 🍰anon

Soulmate Head cannons

Summary: Head cannons with little drabbles about Soulmates <3

Authors Note: I'm sorry this took so long! Finals are finally over so I can focus on writing :) I hope you all enjoy!! Also I wouldn't mind having all three as soul mates. . . but ya know 😂

Warnings: Self-hate, mild sexual themes, angst, cursing, mentions of religion and murder.

Vash didn’t know what an ocean looked like—deep, painfully blue, and so cooling yet full of dangers unimaginable—but he assumed it had to be something similar to the sight before him: sand dunes rose and fell like the chest of some great giant, tumbling across the horizon without thought or remorse. Compared to the vastness of sand before him, he was nothing but a speck of dust—smaller than the grains of sand that covered this desolate, prison-like planet. Part of him was comforted by that fact, knowing that in the grand scheme of things he would be nothing but a passing memory—no one out there to judge him, hurt him, or even see him. Yet he also hated the loneliness of it all. Looking out and seeing no life but himself, it only served to remind him what he was. 

Vash the Stampede:

“Shit!”

He paused, feet sinking into the dry sand below. A semi-cool wind hit the back of his neck. “Hello?” his voice echoed out into the world around—hello. . . hello. . . . . hello. Nothing responded and he adjusted the strap over his shoulder. He must really be losing it now. He had suffered from heat stroke before, had experienced delusions, and been near deaths’ door due to the pounding suns above, so, unfortunately, he knew what might be happening.

He stood still for a moment, longer. . . nothing. Okay, perhaps this was a one time delusion and he’ll be fine.

“How the hell am I going to get out of this alive?!”

He whirled around, looking for any sign of life—the person of whom the disembodied voice belonged to. After a moment he confirmed his suspicions. There was no one around. He groaned and covered his face, thinking to himself: “the heat must be getting to me. . .”

“What?”

He blinked, “What?”

“Who are you?”

“Who are you?” he yelled out into the vastness of the desert. No one responded. “What the hell?”

“Great! I’m getting shot at and I’m hallucinating!”

“What is happening right now?!”

“You tell me! You’re the voice in my head!”

“No, you’re the one in my head!”

The first time you two met—and by that, I mean: the first time you two heard each other—was a mess. You were busy running for your life, and he was wandering through the emptiness of a sandy sea. Both of you, due to different reasons, thought you were going insane. You thought the adrenaline of the situation finally made you snap, and that this run-in with danger took the last bit of your sanity. Vash, on the other hand, swore the heat was out to kill him again and he ignored you for the most part—no use in talking to a delusion. It was only after you both reached safety and had a night's rest, that you both came to realize this was something more than hallucinations.

“Uh. . . so. . . are you real?” Vash thought to himself as he washed his face in the sink, the morning sun starting to make the hotel room feel like an oven.

“Of course I am! . . . are you?”

From then on you two talked a lot, and bonded immensely considering the other’s deepest, darkest and most intimate parts are on display. 

Vash tried desperately to keep the fact that he’s a plant and an outlaw a secret, but simply thinking about how he wanted to not think about it, made him think about it. And, therefore, you heard it all within the first five minutes of knowing him.

“You’re Vash the Stampede! The humanoid typhoon?!”

“Uh. . . no?” He thought about how stupid of a lie that is.

“I can hear your thoughts, Vash! You can’t lie!”

“Aw man I forgot!”

Really, Vash was terrified at first. Having someone able to hear his thoughts? It meant his act, his silly persona, was useless. He was laid bare in front of a person he didn’t know, had never seen, and wasn’t even sure if they were 100% real. No matter what lie he constructed, the truth would be sitting somewhere in his thoughts; easy to access, and even easier to talk about considering there was no way to ignore each other.

“Vash?”

He didn’t want to talk today. A mother had been killed, he had been shot in the shoulder, and ran out of town faster than he had ever known was possible. Sitting by himself in a crude rock formation, miles from any town with the moons shining down on him with pity. He wanted to be alone—to wallow, and think, and cry, and grieve for what was lost and what could never be.

“Vash, I know you're throwing a pity party right now.”

He wiped some tears from his eyes, watching the stars. 

“Vash, Vash, Vash, Vash, Vash, Vash—come on! I know you're hurting, but it wasn’t your fault. Nothing is. The whole space ship thing? Not your fault. Your brother? He’s his own person, you can’t control his actions—his decisions aren’t on you. The deaths? Inevitable, Vash. Everyone dies someday.”

“But they died because I was there!” He hated showing this side—the pain, the anger, the grief. He didn’t deserve to feel this way. His life, the wandering and suffering, was his punishment for failing to save the people he loved. He didn’t deserve comfort.

“When I finally meet you, I’m going to slap you upside the head before giving you the biggest hug you’ve ever felt.”

He blinked. “Eh?”.

After the rocky start, the weird emotional trauma bonding, and the insecurities—Vash fell hard. Having someone who could peer into his very soul? It, despite feeling so terrifying at first, made him feel so understood and. . . safe. This person has seen the very worst of him, the bottom of the barrel, and yet they chose to keep on talking to him. And, of course, normally Vash would take those emotions to the grave. He doesn’t deserve love. Whoever loves him, whoever he loves, will end up dead. But those thoughts, quite literally, are destroyed the moment they are given tangible sound. 

“I love you too, so I need you to stop thinking that I shouldn’t. Even if you keep running away—” despite the fact that he so desperately wants to meet you he’s terrified you’ll get hurt, and runs away the moment you're in a hundred mile vicinity—“I’ll still love you. And one day I’ll find you Vash. I promise that.”

He sobbed for about an hour straight after that.

He really does want to meet you, it’s the truth, but he needs to confront his fears before he can enjoy your love without guilt. 

Wolfwood:

Wolfwood couldn’t fall asleep. The lull of the bus hadn’t hit him yet, the rocking and groaning metal not a lullaby but a shrieking reminder of how far away from civilization he is. Usually he’d be passed out by now, cigarette limply hanging between his lips, but he had opted to twiddle with it between his fingers. The smoke curled around his palm, lazily rising up into the musty air of the bus. No matter how long he closed his eyes for, how many sheep he counted, or how he positioned himself, he couldn’t reach the comforting arms of sleep. Eventually he gave up, annoyed that everyone else on the bus—excluding the driver himself, thank god—had managed to peacefully drift away into their dreams.

“I’m tired. . .”

He blinked and chuckled quietly, “you and me sister.” He turned away from the window, taking a small drag of his cigarette as he turned to see who had spoken. A lady across the aisle looked at him, tilting her head. He gave a small wave and she turned away quickly. 

“Rude,” he thought for a moment before sighing. Maybe he should try to go to sleep again.

“Hello?”

He blinked and looked around. Surely someone must be sleep-talking. Right? “Wish I could be sleeping,” he looked around once more, eyes lingering on the lady across the aisle who was now starting to doze off. “This sucks.”

“Okay, I’m hallucinating now. God damn it. I knew that I shouldn’t have eaten that sandwich.”

He turned around, looking behind him, and then back to the front where the bus driver was humming a song to himself. “What. . .?” Pure confusion was all he felt. Earlier he had spent several hours in the sun, but the heat couldn’t have gotten to him this bad. . . right? Right?

“Oh God, please make this food poisoning death quick. I’m not into pain.”

Sleep deprivation must really be getting to him. This is going to be a long ride.

Chaos. Absolute chaos. 

Part of Wolfwood thought for a moment he might be getting possessed—he tossed that idea aside quickly but he did consider it for a moment before shaking his head. The other option, he thought, would have to be that the stress of trying to find the Humanoid Typhoon finally caught up to him, and he’s in the middle of a psychotic break. But he remembered hearing that you can’t be aware that you’re in psychosis so. . . where does that leave him?

“Has God really forsaken me this time?” he grumbled, stumbling off the bus and waiting for someone to toss the Punisher down to him.

“I hope not!” came the voice again, “I already have bad luck. If god hates me then I’m really a goner.”

Both of you came to the conclusion fairly quickly that there was no demon or god involved, nor were either of you dying or having a breakdown. Wolfwood, unlike Vash, accepted the situation a lot faster. He was confused and apprehensive at first, after all, no one likes showcases their true, intimate selfs—but he got over it fairly quickly. If this was what fate had given him, he would accept it. After all, it didn’t seem to be too horrible. What’s the matter with appreciating the good things in life?

When he gets bored he’d just stare off into space and annoy you—doesn’t matter what you're doing, or what he’s supposed to be doing. He’ll call your name over and over and over, or start preaching until you tell him to shut up. Sometimes, though, he will start talking about the dirtiest, strangest things you’ve ever heard of until your interest is piqued or until he can hear a reaction from you. Either way, no matter what method he chooses, you’ll eventually be talking to him.

“Here’s another quote, ‘Give your burdens to the lord. And he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. Psalm 55:22’. You know, personally, I’ve always thought that bible verse—”

“Please shut up. I will literally kill you.”

“I’d like to see you try, Doll.”

His favorite pastime is annoying you, making you flustered, or straight up saying the most out of pocket shit you can ever imagine. And, the funny thing is, you always know what he’s trying to do yet he still manages to get a reaction. It doesn’t matter if he spends several minutes brainstorming before saying what he wants, and it doesn’t matter if you try and prepare yourself, he is a master at being a cocky, loveable bastard.

He does hate when you manage to get him to talk deeper about himself, when you bring in the comfort and philosophical talk. Deep down he knows this life isn’t something he wants to partake in, he doesn’t want to go down the path that has been chosen for him, but what other option does he have? 

“You don’t have to kill.”

“How am I supposed to survive if I don’t? This world is built on blood, and one person trying to make it better isn’t going to do shit.”

“Well, I actually think it’s two people trying to make it better. Can’t say I’ve ever killed anyone.”

He was slightly salty when he got that response. 

He didn’t fall first here, but he most certainly fell harder. His heart is a little petrified, and he often lets people in, but only deep enough to where they feel accepted yet can’t glance at anything too important. It’s like if he invited you over to his home, showed you the kitchen and living room, but kept every other door locked and closed. Yet you had the key and essentially broke every lock in one go. He still doesn’t know if he hates or loves it.

He also desperately wants to meet you but, like Vash, he’s terrified you’d get hurt. But his love and desire outweigh his nervousness and, besides, he’ll protect you with everything he has. If he must die for you, so be it. So, the moment he is sure of himself he asks where you are. And, of course, you knew this was coming, and he knew you knew, and you knew he knew you knew. Make sense?

“Do you want to meet in person?” he thought about how much he wanted to see them, feel them, hear them with his ears not with. . . his mind? He wasn’t really sure how this whole thing worked.

“Of course! How could I deny you when you’re practically begging?!”

“Begging? You haven’t seen me beg yet. . . and now that I think about it, I haven’t seen you beg either. That must be a pretty sight, huh?”

Bastard. He’s a bastard.

Million Knives:

Knives were pissed. No matter how loud he played the piano, or how many plants he surrounded himself with, he could not get that annoying little song out of his head. A solemn, lonesome hum that echoed through his mind like nothing he had ever heard—and it infuriated him beyond anything he had ever known. At first he had assumed it was the sound of the pipes, the mechanical building breathing with man-made life, but once he found himself in the desert, alone, he knew that wasn’t the case. It crossed his mind for a moment, a moment, that he might be having some mental issues but he quickly tossed that idea out the window. He could never have any problems like that, never. 

He brushed his fingers along the piano keys, thinking of problems past and future, thinking of what is to come and how he should deal with it all. His own thoughts, he noticed, almost drowned out the humming; that was, until, a voice blew through his troubled mind. 

“Woah, you’re a plant?”

He whirled around, ready to mame and kill whoever had managed to infiltrate his base. . . but no one was there. “Come on out now!” he seethed, “and I’ll make your death painless.”

No response but the clacking of gears and the hiss of steam.

“Audacious human,” he spit out in his mind, already thinking of different ways to kill whoever dared to address him. He began to stalk the room, eyes snapping from one corner to the next. “They can’t hide long. I’ll find them.”

“Why are you so violent? Geez. . . well, I mean I guess it makes sense but don’t you get tired of being angry all the time?” The voice trailed off and began humming that infuriating tune. A vague thought that wasn’t his came to the forefront of his mind, wondering if it was worth eating the stale bread or if he should—wait no, not him because this isn’t his thoughts—they should wait until they get paid tomorrow to eat.

He ignored the mundane thoughts and confronted the voice in his head, “you’re the one who’s been singing that idiotic song?!”

“Wow, you’re rude too. Who would’ve guessed?”

The conversation devolved very quickly after that.

To be honest, you’d be found very, very quickly. Unlike Vash, Knives won’t avoid you; and unlike Wolfwood, he won’t wait until the time is right—he’ll rush off into the desert and hunt you down in less than a week. Finding a stranger is surprisingly easy when you have infinite access to their thoughts. At first he was angry and only wanted to find you so he could cut your head off, but soon—despite his hatred for admitting this—he found you interesting.

“I’m coming to kill you, and you’re not worried at all?”

“I’ll die someday, and besides, I think I’m starting to charm you.”

“I will rip you apart.”

“Sounds sexy.”

You infuriate him on so many levels he doesn’t even know where to start. 

Actually, he does know where to start. You peer into his mind and learn everything about him and oh my god that pisses him off because now a human—a mere human!—knows everything about him: his trauma, his fears, his past, his brother. And he has now way to stop you from learning about him. Out of pure spite, though, he tries his best to learn nothing about you. . . but that plan fails quickly.

“I’m going to kill myself!” you cry out in your mind, rage edging at the tone of your words.

“Please don’t, it’ll take the joy out of me torturing you.” 

“I’m already being tortured! My boss sucks! Ugh! I’m going to kill him!”

He has a tiny, second-long urge to say he’ll kill the man for you before he literally gags with disgust. He had never been so glad someone was distracted because if you had focused on his intentions in that moment you would have teased him until he showed up on your doorstep and killed you. 

Over the course of the couple days he spent tracking you, he unwillingly came to be invested in your life and found a small amount of joy when he debated with you. 

“Humanity sucks, yes, but we can be good!”

“It doesn’t matter if you can or can’t. What matters is what you’ve done, and what you’re doing. Your potential means nothing when compared to the damage you’ve done.”

“. . . damn it why are you smart. Also, I didn’t do anything! I was just born!”

“That’s a sin in itself.”

“Okay, well, gotta call you out on that one. Being born is not a sin, also, what are you? A preacher? Jesus Christ!”

“Don’t use his name in vain.”

“What?”

After he gets over his initial repulsion and hatred he finds the look into human life interesting. You’re pitiful, weak, and disgusting yet you still push on. Why? Why? Why?

“Why not?’

“It’s useless.”

“So?”

“So. . .?”

“I got you, the great Knives, tongue tied? Wow, I can die happily now.”

Overall, it takes a while for him to fall for you. At first it’s purely rage, and then it’s curiosity, and then. . . maybe he’d call it interest. He wouldn’t fall first and he wouldn't fall that hard, but he’d still appreciate you in some capacity. 

[weaselle]

Dog Walking Post 2 of 3

In the last post, i answered @hatchan by telling the story of Jim, who, because he let one of his 8 dogs get loose, dropped the leashes to his other seven dogs to go retrieve her.

The point of that story is that even though Jim was good with dogs and loved them, he wasn't a good dog walker, because a dog walker needs to have a good head in an emergency.

One of the other guys we hired (who still works for us actually) lets call him Dave, loves dogs and has good calm energy, and he has another trait that is very important in someone who works with dogs: patience. But he's still not ideal for dog walking.

It took me a few months to understand why that was true. See, Dave is kind, and patient, and calm, and that works really well for dogs, so it really seems like Dave is very good with dogs.

But Dave doesn't actually know dogs very well. This finally clicked for me when i was finishing up my early morning walk one day as Dave arrived for work. So as we said our good mornings, i mentioned that i have been working with one of the smaller dogs (that he'd never met) on that walk because she was kind of a nervous dog who barked at pedestrians because she got anxious when we walked by other people. I asked if he would greet her because she could use a positive interaction with a stranger i could trust, to set her up for success by giving her an experience that would not set off her anxiety which would help reinforce the idea that the people that walk by us are nothing to worry about.

I said that exact thing to him, almost word for word. And he, eyes full of sympathy, heart brimming with patience and kindness, with all the best intentions in the world, greeted this small anxious dog by bending at the waist to loom over her and reaching directly for the top of her face.

That's when it clicked for me. See, even though he has a lot of qualities we look for in a dog walker that make his interactions with the average dog go really well (which fooled us into thinking he is really good with dogs) he actually doesn't really understand dogs very thoroughly. He's not able to see things from their point of view enough.

The point of these stories is that when you hire new people, it can be really hard to tell the difference between someone with good qualities for being around dogs in general, and someone with good qualities for being in charge of dogs with various needs in various situations.

Dave and Jim both had a lot of qualities you would think to look for in a dog walker. But while it can be tempting to focus on hiring someone who gets along with dogs really well, what you're actually looking for is the kind of person you would trust to take a classroom on a field trip, who also intimately understands dog behavior. They have to keep their head in an emergency, maintain control of a rowdy group, and they have to know what is going on with a dog the instant they look at that dog.

They have to be able to look at a dog and know right away "that dog is getting ready to be upset about that bike rider" or "that dog is irritated by that other dog" or "that dog sees something they think they might want to eat" or "that dog is nervous and overwhelmed". And the dog walker has to know what they are going to do about those things. Nobody is going to get this right 100% of the time, but they have to be good at it.

In my experience, if they have a basic understanding of dog behavior, if they have a knack for picking up on basic dog communication and can see things from the dog's point of view, they can develop that further on the job. You can point out the nuance of dog behaviors and communications, things like stiff body language or dog facial expressions, and just being around so much of it has honed my own aptitude in this area. If you start with a bit of talent, you can train it into skill.

But you can't train someone into being empathetic enough to see things from a dog's point of view, and you can't train someone into being the kind of person you'd trust to lead a class field trip.

to be continued on another post

[lucozaynkisses]

Weight loss tips 🙂‍↕️🩰

I actually used to weight 145 lbs now I weigh around 129 and want to reach 120 here’s some things I’ve noticed make it easier for me to stay consistent

1. Eating less instead of cutting out foods!

This is a major one. I need to make sure my body doesn’t feel restricted because the moment I over restrict is the moment everything goes to shit and I end up eating everything in front of me. Eating smaller portions is key.

2. Try to stop thinking so much about food

This one is so hard but it really helps when I stop focusing so much on food. Realize food is not the most important thing in the world. Don’t think so much about what the next thing ur gonna eat is when u just ate or that thing ur going to where ur prob going to eat more than u should. Live in the moment and try to focus entirely on something else. Food is just food.

3. Don’t weigh urself every second of the day!

The most discouraging thing is looking at the scale and seeing it went up a little when in reality it’s only temporary. You’re setting urself up for failure when u constantly weigh urself so set a limit to how many times u can weigh urself. I am now only doing it once a week.

4. LIMIT STRESS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!

The whole reason I gained so much weight when I weighed 145 was because of the amount of stress I had in my body. No matter the amount of exercise I did and how much I dieted I never lost weight. I literally beg u guys to do everything u can to keep ur stress levels as low as possible. It will seriously delay ur results. This also means not turning weight loss into something stressful.

5. Do things gradually

The easiest way to make urself give up and fail is by going directly into hardcore exercise and hardcore restriction. Start with things you know you can stay consistent. Like for example I’m only doing a 20 min at home full body Pilates that isn’t so hard for me to do and a leg workout that’s super quick and only doing them 3x per week rn. Now that I’ve started to get used to it I’m adding more. Same thing with a calorie deficit. Lower ur calorie intake gradually. This is the best way to get urself used to a new lifestyle.

6. LONG TERM RESULTS IS BETTER THAN QUICK RESULTS!!!

Trust me I know this is one of the hardest things to hear but ur life will be so much easier once u accept it. Patience is key in this process. I could go restrict myself to the extreme to lose weight and make myself sick but that route will always end badly. It will always end with you gaining the weight back and being even more upset because u got there and gained it back. The only way to have results that are maintainable is by having patience and staying consistent

7. Turn jealousy into motivation

When u look at other girls with the body that u want, instead of feeling jealousy, anger, and hatred, stop making excuses as to why they have it and why it’s not possible for u. They are not special and if u really want it u can have it too. Turn that negativity into motivation to also get there. U can do it!

8. Learn to trick ur brain

I’m Brazilian and we eat rice and beans everyday. So what I do is ill put like 1-3 spoons of rice and then put so much more beans which that makes me think I’m eating way more rice than I am. We also have spaghetti a lot and I’ll do the same thing so im not having too many carbs. I also fill my plate with veggies.

9. Meal prep

This one is super helpful. Also helps me to not think so much abt food. Sometimes I’m too lazy but I like leaving chicken in the fridge already cut and seasoned and it’s so helpful so that when I’m hungry I don’t have to take so much time making food and that helps me not snack on whatever I see before my food is ready.

Hope this was helpful! 💋🫶🏼

Xo, Ary

[up-in-space-reading]

The End of the World and Everything After

pairing: Matt x F Reader

word count: 6,345

warnings/tags: angst, grief, hurt, fluff, comfort, established relationship, unplanned pregnancy, swearing, domestic fluff, dad!Matt, the blip/the snap, mentions of alcohol, allusions to sex (nothing graphic). no use of y/n.

read on ao3

masterlist

Story Summary: Half of the universe is turned into dust because of Thanos. You and Matt were left behind to pick up the pieces of yourselves and try to learn how to live without the most important people in your lives.

a/n: This fic was born from me babysitting, listening to 90s top hits for two weeks straight, and way too many conversations with my partner about what our fave characters did during the blip. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy <3

The whole world stopped that day. The entire universe stood still. It was unbelievably quiet everywhere, a silence settling down on the surface that wouldn’t lift anytime soon.

On an average Tuesday afternoon, half of the earth disappeared in minutes. Leaving behind the other half to cope with the losses and clean up the mess left behind.

No one was sure what the Avengers did or didn’t do, all everyone knew was that five minutes after someone had snapped their fingers half of their loved ones were no longer around.

Not dead, just dust.

Matt had taken losing Karen and Foggy hard. He spent months taking out his anger on anything he could hit and kick. Bruised and bloody fists a harsh reminder that he is alive, and they aren’t. The streets and the punching bag in the gym got hit with his rage, and you got hit with his sadness. There was no denying you felt it too, you were just as much of a mess you just didn’t have the physical outlet he did.

He started training you in the old dusty ring at Fogwells a few months after, hitting the bag and sparring until neither of you could handle it anymore and the tears began falling again, collapsing into each other’s arms for a while. You’d then walk home, arm in arm on the quiet streets of the Kitchen, Matt would listen to the people left and you’d stare at the empty buildings.

It was a similar routine for a year but getting easier to handle with every passing week. A smile here and there when you would land a punch, a giggle when he’d grab you around the waist in just the right spot to tickle you.

Slowly, you were getting yourselves back. Not your old selves, but a new version, versions that lived with the pain and held onto the small glimpses of hope. Versions of yourselves that settled into a calm and quiet routine. You got to a place where you could talk about them with a bittersweet tone instead of not being able to speak through the tears. And in the strangest turn of events, connections were made.

It was Jessica who had reached out first. You had been so surprised you read the text on Matt’s phone yourself multiple times. Her and Luke had figured things out, they even had a kid a few months before the blip. But they were getting lonely, and once Luke has realised who was left he figured you and Matt were getting lonely too.

Halfway through that first year you quit your job, began working with Matt in the office doing the admin and office managerial tasks. He didn’t have many clients, but people were still having issues during this time. At some point everyone decided the world had to keep turning, people needed money to stay in their homes or downsize and businesses still needed to run. The city kept going, it just felt smaller and emptier now.

You packed away Karen and Foggy’s things, in storage boxes. Matt asked why you didn’t get rid of them completely and you didn’t have an answer, maybe a small part of you hoped they’d come back one day. Maybe you just didn’t have the heart to get rid of it all yet. The door to Foggy’s office staying almost permanently shut, windows dark.

So, you sat at the desk in the main foyer of the office, answering emails and doing any research Matt needed done. Matt went over files and case notes in his office, listening to you hum along to the music playing quietly through a speaker in the corner of the room. It was a little over a year since it had happened.

It was a warm day, sunlight pouring through the dirty office windows making the space look happier than it ought to be. You were busy typing an email response to organise an appointment with a client when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in” You said loud enough so the person could hear, not looking up from your computer screen.

Luke opened the door with one hand, holding Dani and a bag of food in the other. Dani had her arms wrapped around as much of Luke’s neck as she could reach and was babbling in her fathers ear while he hummed in response.

“Hi Luke, hi Dani” You smiled wide at the two of them.

You were always happy to see Dani, convinced she was one of the cutest kids you’d ever seen. Looks like her fathers and a temper like her mothers (only if you didn’t give in to her ice cream demands).

“Hey, how you guys doing? We bought you both some lunch if you haven’t already had some” He took the bag of food in his free hand and held it up for emphasis.

“No, we haven’t eaten yet, thank you so much.” You stomach grumbling as you stood up and accepted the bag happily, peering at the contents inside “Can’t believe the mayor of New York is doing a lunch run while also looking after his little one”

At the mention of Dani you look at her and scrunch up your nose and smile, she smiled in return before quickly hiding her face in Luke’s shoulder. Luke laughed.

“If I’m behind that desk for too long I’ll lose my mind, besides, needed to ask Matt a few things and figured it was a good excuse to get out”

You laughed in response, it was a new feeling, laughing at things regularly and feeling a semblance of normal. It was something none of you had been used to in a long while, but it did feel good, you almost felt relieved that the worst was over even though the worst was technically still ongoing.

“If there’s enough here for all of us I’ll get a table and some chairs set up so we can eat together, you go chat with Matt, Dani and I will hang out for a bit”

Luke passed Dani over to you before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and going into Matt’s office. You went about dragging out the fold out table and chairs from the unused conference room, Dani in one arm and dragging furniture with the other. Eventually you put her down on the floor next to the small basket of toys you’d acquired for her so you could finish setting up the table and chairs and place the food out on the table.

Once done, you knocked on the door of Matt’s office and poked your head in telling the two boys that food was ready. The four of you sat down around the small square table, Dani on Luke’s lap trying her absolute hardest to stab things with a chopstick.

You small talk about your days and what everyone has been up to recently, its mostly the same as usual and at some point Matt and Luke continue talking shop so you start entertaining Dani with funny faces and peek-a-boo.

It was a nice day, you finished work an hour before Matt and were able to cook something nice for dinner by the time he got home.

Later that night you and Matt were sat on the couch, both reading a book quietly. He had decided to not go on patrol that night, it had made you wonder at first, but you weren’t going to complain at the chance for quality time. The two of you were sat on the couch, you were leaning against the arm rest with your legs stretched out on Matt’s lap, his feet were resting on the coffee table and you’d both been wearing your pyjamas since arriving home after work. A record playing on the turntable in the corner of the room, Matt had picked tonight.

At a point in the evening when the sun was down and the moon making its home in the sky for the night Matt put his book down on the side table, running his hands up and down your shins. After a few minutes and once you’d finished your page you closed your book and put it down, looking up at him to see he was already facing you, a lazy smile on his face.

“What’s up, handsome?” You teased reaching one of your hands down, meeting one of his at your knee.

“Nothing much, beautiful” He teased back.

You sit in silence for a few moments, taking in all his features and how they seem to have aged so much just in the past year and you assumed you looked the same. But he was still beautiful, pensive and unfocused brown eyes staring while his other senses take in everything. The stubble lingering on his jaw that you had always preferred over him being clean shaven.

“You’re staring” He pulled you out of your thoughts.

“If you could see your reflection then you’d understand why” You giggled.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked tentatively.

“Of course”

You leaned your head sideways to rest on the back of the couch, still looking at him as he seemed hesitant with his question. Had this been six months ago your mind would have run wild with possibilities, anxiety having already decided the worst outcome was definitely going to happen. But this time, your instincts weren’t screaming and your mind was clear, it should’ve scared you but instead your heart stayed steady. The worst had already happened, anything since couldn’t compare.

“I love you, so much. The past year has been…” He looks away, blinking hard a few times before turning to face you again “probably one of the worst ever, we were- are dealing with something so unprecedented. But we’ve made it this far and it has me convinced we’ll make it through anything” You both let out a short laugh.

“I feel like I’m getting off track, sorry” He laughed nervously this time, at this point you could see he was fiddling with something in his pocket with his free hand.

“That’s okay, keep going” You smiled and squeezed his hand, trying to calm your heartbeat as your mind jumped to conclusions hoping against everything they were the right ones.

“Anyway, if it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would’ve done or where I would be now. You’re the most amazing, kind, funny and caring person I’ve ever met.” Tears were welling up in his eyes, matching the ones that had been brimming in yours threatening to spill “I-I can’t live without you, so would you marry me?”

He pulled his hand out of his pocket, holding a silver ring. It was beautiful, two small bands winding around one other creating an infinite spiral, decorated with small diamonds embedded in the bands. It was the perfect ring for you, he knew you weren’t a fan of big jewellery and a big diamond wouldn’t match your style.

“Oh my god Matt… yes I will, of course I will” The tears had now begun to fall now and there was no way you were going to be able to stop them.

He held your shaking left hand steady as he slid the ring on your finger, and you looked at it for a few moments before sliding closer to Matt to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. He returned the favour, hands going to your waist to hold you close and steady. When you pulled back for air you could see he was also crying.

After a few moments of catching your breath, you spoke up again.

“What about K-“

“I know, I thought about it. They would hate that we stopped living just because they’re gone, and if we get to see them again one day I want to be able to tell them the things we’ve done together”

“Okay, if you’re sure” You put your forehead against his.

“Sure as I’ve been about anything”

The two of you chose a date a few weeks later to go to the courthouse and make it official, with Luke, Jess, and Dani in tow. You and Jess went out to get a dress, she insisted she was only there to tell you which ones were ugly so you’d know what to avoid. The dress you chose was simple, not a wedding dress by definition but it was white and it suited you. Jess had even said you looked nice in it, which coming from her she may as well have called you Aphrodite.

You filled out and signed papers, quickly kissed, and by that evening the five of you were sitting in yours and Matt’s apartment a few drinks in laughing over nothing. Music from the turntable and Dani’s babbling as she played on the floor creating background noise, and for the first time in a long time the city doesn’t feel too big or too quiet.

It was a perfect night to end a perfect day.

Throwing up into the toilet isn’t how you had anticipated you’d start your Saturday morning, Matt still in pyjama pants and no shirt holding your hair back as your body convulsed. He rubbed your back soothingly until you’d finished, and once you were sure you were done, he held you on the bathroom floor as you caught your breath.

A year and a half since half the universe disappeared, a few months since you and Matt had gotten married.

“Oh god” You gasped, looking at the results of the test later that day.

“Well..” Matt trailed off.

You were both processing the results in silence for a little while, you weren’t sure if it were seconds or hours that passed.

“Quarters” Matt whispered.

At first it confused you until you racked your brain, did some rough maths and suddenly it made sense.

“Quarters” You whispered back in shock.

“This should be incredibly unfair to you but I actually think it’s the opposite and incredibly unfair to me” You giggled while pouring a shot of whiskey into the cup in the middle of the table.

“Mrs Murdock attacks her husband once again, will the torment ever end” Matt pretended to fret to someone else who wasn’t in the room before laughing.

“Mr Murdock is going the right way to sleeping on the couch if he continues to pretend he will be bad at this game”

Matt walked to the dining table, carrying freshly washed quarters in a towel, drying them as he walked. He had insisted on washing the coins before playing, they smelled so strong he could taste them and it made him feel ill.

“I’m going to cheat” You said matter of factly.

“Sweetheart, I didn’t marry you because you’re a fair player” You both laughed hard.

You had begun playing games every so often, going out drinking less meant you and Matt had time to fill and you were determined to not have him fill the time with Daredevil. An argument six months after the blip which left you both emotionally raw had already gone over that issue. He was doing worlds better now, not relying on Daredevil as much to cope and you were proud.

When Matt was satisfied that the coins were as clean as he could get them and dry enough, the game commenced. You immediately regretted it, wishing you had chosen a card game instead. He was landing every single one, you were lucky to get one in four. After a little while you stood up to get some water and wobbled on your feet, deciding that you had to stack the odds in your favour somehow so you wouldn’t get blackout while Matt stayed lightly buzzed.

“Need help getting to the fridge?” He teased, leaning back in his chair.

“I am perfectly fine walking a few steps to the fridge” You insisted, but you were definitely trying harder than usual to take balanced and even steps.

Once you had acquired a bottle of water, you returned to the table and picked up a coin for your next shot. Unsurprisingly you miss the glass, but before Matt can pick up a coin of his own you take one off the table as quick as possible and take another shot. This one makes it into the glass and you throw your arms up in victory while Matt throws his head back laughing.

“Drink up Matthew!” You cheered.

From that point on Matt let you keep trying until you got the coin in the glass before taking his turn. At some point in the evening when your cheeks were hurting from laughter and your mouth was sticky with the taste of alcohol you called it a night, advising Matt that you two had shared enough of the bottle for a single evening.

You stumbled through the living room and into the bedroom together, feeling grateful that you from a few hours ago decided to put her pyjamas on before starting the game. You were warm and happy all over, but it wasn’t until Matt took his shirt off that your heart began to race and heat spread through your body.

“Hmm”

The noise had accidentally slipped from your lips, you hadn’t meant for it to come out but it was too late, Matt had already heard it and was taking in the rest of your body’s reaction.

“Oh” He responded quietly while smirking.

“And you’re sure you want to do this?” You asked nervously from the other end of the couch.

“Sure as I’ve been about anything, only if you’re sure too” He placed a hand on your knee.

“Yeah, I’m sure”

You let out a deep breath, taking it all in and already thinking ahead. A feeling settled in your chest, a mix of excitement and anxiety. You both had a daunting future ahead of you but you were sure it would be worth it, and there was no one you’d rather do it with than Matt.

Luke was elated for the both of you, and Jess pretended to not be as happy also but had a hard time hiding it, a rare smile gracing her face for just a moment when you had told them the news. You often texted Jess with a million different questions and whilst reluctant to answer she still helped more than you’d ever be able to thank her for. When you found out the gender Luke brought over a few bags of Dani’s old stuff that she had grown out of and you couldn’t be more grateful.

“Your daughter is fuckin’ huge, can you help me with my shoes please” You yelled across the apartment to Matt.

“As soon as she’s an issue it’s my daughter, huh?” He teased as he walked over to where you were on the couch, his tie still undone.

Matt knelt on the floor in front of you and helped with putting your socks and shoes on, you hadn’t been able to reach your feet for a while now so he was used to it and he never minded helping in any way he could. You were the one doing the hard work after all, who was he to complain about having to help with a pair of shoes every now and then.

Once he was done with your shoes he placed a kiss onto your belly and then your forehead. He finished doing up his tie and you both headed out to work for the day. It was a brisk morning as you walked to the office, arm in arm as per usual. You had to stop once to catch your breath and Matt sat with you on the bench, hand on your knee in comfortable silence.

After you had gotten to the office and up until lunch you had felt minor pains but nothing to be concerned about. It wasn’t until about 2pm that they got worse and you grew worried, but you still hadn’t caught Matt’s attention until a bad one hit you suddenly causing you to hiss through your teeth and clench your fists.

He got up from his desk and rushed to the doorway of his office.

“Are you okay?” He asked concerned.

“Uh-“ You thought about it for a few moments “Not really”

You knew Matt would be annoyed if you downplayed how you felt, he had been all over since you found out you were pregnant making sure you weren’t having any pains that were out of place and making you be almost too careful. Fortunately, you’d read about these pains, and you now had the task of quickly mentally preparing yourself for the coming hours.

“I’ll call Luke” Matt was ready for action immediately, pulling out his phone and finding Luke’s contact immediately.

Taxis were harder to come by after the blip and it was a jarring change for New York. The only person you and Matt knew who did drive was Luke, so he was always the go to if you needed a ride for a bit of a distance; and he had offered to call him anytime for the baby. Luke was outside the office not 10 minutes later ready to take the two of you to the hospital.

Matt would do anything for her, he had decided that the moment he got to hold her for the first time. She was his everything, two people in the world he would do anything for.

While you were sleeping that night, exhausted after all the effort that afternoon, he held her in his arms. Sat on the uncomfortable hospital couch he felt her warmth against his chest and listened to her tiny heartbeat. She was perfect, and he cried as he stroked her soft cheek with his finger.

His girls were everything to him. Two years ago his world collapsed and he thought he could never be happy again, he’d never be lucky enough to laugh or smile. But despite the many difficulties the day offered, he was content.

If he ever got to see Foggy and Karen again, he couldn’t wait to tell them everything.

You told him she was still mostly bald but there were whisps of dark hair covering her head, you joked she wasn’t done cooking enough to tell who she looked more like yet. Luke drove the three of you home two days later, not lingering too long so you could get settled.

Sleepless nights were tough on both of you, Matt didn’t get enough sleep as it was and now with a crying baby it was worse. But eventually you figured out a routine, and after two months of stumbling and sleepless nights the two of you found a way.

Saturday afternoon and you were finally getting around to doing the laundry you’d been putting off for two weeks, Mia propped up by some pillows at the head of your bed and unfolded clothes covering the foot of the bed. She was holding a toy in her hand that she would occasionally decide to chew on or wave around while music played in the background.

“Your father hates when I sing this one, rolls his eyes and everything, can you believe him?” You told Mia as you swayed your hips to the music while folding t-shirts.

She made a quiet cooing noise and you couldn’t help but smile. A few minutes passes of you humming and Mia watching you, content in between feeds and naps.

“Oh my god yes! Mia baby this is important stuff I expect you to remember this one” You said as the next song begun, one of your personal favourites.

The swaying hips very soon escalated into dancing around the bedroom as you folded clothes, Mia smiling at your antics only encouraging you further. You were getting lost in the music, and though you didn’t know it Matt was smiling from where he was washing dishes in the kitchen, attention focused completely on you in the other room.

Near the end of the song Mia waved her arms around a little, and you didn’t care if she was copying you or just doing her thing but it made you laugh anyway.

“That’s it baby, get into it!”

It wasn’t often you had the opportunity to sneak up on Matt, ears hearing you approaching from more than a block away, always making sure you’re safe. But every now and then you had a rare opportunity to, and it was always a gem to catch Matt off guard.

Today you had gone grocery shopping while Matt stayed home with Mia. You had returned from shopping, hearing Matt’s voice on the other side of the apartment door made you stop for a moment. You stood by the door, ear close to the gap trying to listen to what he was saying.

“Now it isn’t so bad, see? If I had known this is what you wanted in the first place we could’ve avoided a lot of stress, sweetheart”

A warmth blooms in your chest as a smile graces your face, a few moments of silence pass before you hear him speak again.

“Ah here we go, you like this one. You gotta learn to tell me this stuff, your mother says communication is important, y’know” He chuckled to himself.

Finally, you unlock the door and go into the apartment. Upon walking into the living area you find Mia lying on her tummy on the play mat, surrounded by toys within arm’s reach, and Matt lying on his stomach on the floor, chin resting on his arms facing Mia.

He greeted you the moment you walked in and you greeted back while putting the bags of groceries on the counter. You shrugged your jacket and shoes off and walked over to Matt and Mia, lying down right next to Matt, mirroring his position and facing Mia.

“Didn’t realise we all needed tummy time” You laughed, giving Matt a kiss on the cheek before leaning forward to kiss Mia on the forehead.

“This was what made her happy, who am I to argue” He shrugged his shoulders.

“You’re a sucker” You nudged him with your elbow.

“I might be” He laughed and hung his head.

Mia’s first birthday involved too much ice cream and cake, but Dani had insisted that after all the time she’d spent playing with Mia that she wanted ice cream and you didn’t have the heart to say no. She loved ripping the wrapping paper off of her gifts more than she liked the actual gifts, you made a note of that for when Christmas came around.

As she grew a whole corner of the office became a play area for her, and occasionally Dani. At first it was one corner, but as soon as she began walking unaided the whole office was hers to play in as far as she was concerned. Matt would often step on toys left lying around his office, muttering to himself in annoyance while putting it away. The conference room had become the nap room, and Mia enjoyed the walk between the office and home.

She often wanted to sit on yours or Matt’s lap while you worked, eager to bang on the computer keyboards and scribble on notepads. You caved and bought an old keyboard for her to play with, it meant she stayed off your lap a little longer, but not Matt’s.

Mia was a daddy’s girl through and through, and Matt would do anything for his little girl. His ears were always tuned in to the sound of ‘dada’ and always telling her she was perfect. You would often hear them having ‘conversations’ on his office, him telling her a story and she would babble back happily.

It was 1:30pm, you had put all work on hold to deal with Mia who refused to nap and was letting everyone else deal with the consequences. Matt was getting frustrated; she would cling to her dad when upset but he had work to do, and the crying child on the floor under his desk didn’t help with productivity. You were getting annoyed that she wasn’t being receptive to anything you did to calm her down and eventually gave up, bordering on tears yourself.

Despite the feelings of guilt Matt made you sit on the couch with him in his office and just leave Mia, she would cry herself tired. He reassured you that you weren’t a bad mother for letting it happen, and if she kept going then he would handle it. You leaned your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, trying to relax even with the sound of crying filling the room. Matt rubbed your arm soothingly and sighed, leaning his head back against the wall.

The two of you hadn’t felt like this since the sleepless nights when Mia was a newborn, you’d gotten used to her good sleep schedule and generally good behaviour. Jess laughed that the ‘terrible twos’ was approaching, and you refused to believe your baby girl could be anything remotely near terrible. That was until today, when she wouldn’t nap and you were quickly running out of patience.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you came back to reality, thinking you had tuned out the crying you opened your eyes and took stock of the room around you. You lifted your head and looked at Matt who had a small smile on his face, looking relieved. It was then you clocked how quiet the room was.

“Is she-?” You whispered.

“Yep” He sighed in relief.

You got up from the couch and made your way over to the desk, crouching to peer underneath. Mia was curled up under Matt’s desk, dark hair pointing in all directions and cheeks still red from her meltdown. Other than the wet tears under her eyes she looked as peaceful as ever, and you felt the tension leave your shoulders.

Matt had gotten up and retrieved a blanket from the conference-slash-nap room to put over her. He joined you where you were crouched and carefully covered Mia with the blanket, then standing up and collecting his files. He sat on the couch and continued his work, while you went to make a cup of coffee, both of you pleased you could finally get some work done before going home for the day.

“I do it!”

“Okay okay, you can do it” Matt laughed as Mia tried to stir the pasta sauce by herself.

He had always preferred cooking when he had company to do it with, the two of you had loved cooking together since you first met. You weren’t chefs but Matt knew what tasted good and you had a knack for portioning pasta perfectly every time (Matt joked that it was your heightened sense). Now that Mia had come along, he had someone else to cook with who was always attached to his hip.

She attempted to stir the sauce, it being too thick for her small arms to handle and Matt sneakily helping her. Once a few stirs were done she clapped her hands and Matt gave her endless praises and cheek kisses, you couldn’t help but smile at them.

You had tried to feed her a mouthful, but she outright refused and said she could do it herself. It was at this point you realised she’d inherited Matt’s sense of independence, wanting to do everything on her own without any help. Trying to stop yourself from helping her when she was getting half the pasta sauce down her shirt was tough, and Matt’s giggles weren’t helping.

“Your daughter is becoming like you” You said to Matt while you both cleaned up after Mia had gone down to sleep for the night.

“Again with the my daughter, you had a hand in making her too y’know” He smiled, amused.

“She’s becoming stubborn, and refuses help. It’s sounding all too familiar, won’t be long until you’re teaching her how to throw a proper punch” You joke, rolling your eyes.

Matt walks up to you and puts his hands on your waist, pulling you close and kissing you with a smile on his face, and you can’t help but kiss back. Still giving you butterflies after all these years.

“You don’t have to worry about her, the way she plays with Dani, she’s inherited your kindness and empathy. Besides, I’m a good father so I won’t teach her how to throw a punch until she’s at least 5” He laughed again at this own joke while you just groaned and rolled your eyes.

Once his laughter has died down you kiss him on the cheek and begin walking towards the bathroom to have a shower.

“You’re lucky I love you, Mr Murdock”

“Very lucky indeed”

He quickly catches up to you and sweeps you off your feet, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom while you can’t help but giggle.

“Daddy!”

“Good morning sweetheart!”

Mia runs through the lounge room to the kitchen where Matt was getting her lunch ready. He takes a few steps forward to meet her and scoop her up in his arms when they meet. She wraps her arms around his neck while he holds her in a tight hug.

“Tell me what your outfit is today” He continues to hold her with one arm while getting food together with the other hand.

“Got a dress and boots”

“What colour are they?”

“Pink and blue, and pink!”

“As beautiful as always” He kisses her on the cheek before placing her back on the floor to run around the apartment for a little bit.

You walk into the kitchen to make coffee for you and Matt, giving him a kiss on the cheek and a quick good morning. The two of you start a discussion about the cases you’re currently working on and when the next court date is.

As you leave the apartment the glint of Matt’s red glasses on the shelf catches your eye, he hadn’t worn them in years. Right after the snap he was in such an awful place that wearing his glasses out was the least of his concerns, and it became a bit of a habit. Then when Mia came along, he didn’t want her remembering how he looked only with his glasses on, losing any reason to wear them daily.

On the walk from the apartment to the office Mia walks between the two of you, holding a hand each and skipping. Every few steps you and Matt lift her up by the arms and swing her, making her laugh loudly. Her laugh echoes down the otherwise quiet street, and you think you see someone on the other side of the street smile at the sound.

Halfway through the walk Mia begs to get on Matt’s shoulders and he can’t say no to his little girl, you mutter about how he’s a softie and he pretends to not hear you but reveals himself by rolling his eyes.

“Since its Friday did you wanna finish up early and head to the park for the afternoon?” You ask Matt, nearing the office.

“Yes park!” Mia cheered from her place up on Matt’s shoulders, her arms wrapped around his head, hands meeting on his forehead.

“Park sounds good” He turned his head towards you and smiled.

You reach the office building and Matt lifts Mia off of his shoulders, you begin making your way up the stairs, searching your bag for the keys to the office. Matt and Mia hung behind because Mia insisted Matt help her jump up every step.

Once the two of them had finally reached the office, Matt went to his desk as Mia tipped out her box of toys onto the floor and began rummaging through them all looking for something she wanted. You sat at the reception desk and opened your laptop, checking emails like any other day.

Today was a quiet day, not many emails and even fewer calls. It was mostly a day of research and helping Matt prepare for a court date the following week. Mia would interrupt to show you her drawings and you all took a break for lunch.

Mid-afternoon when the both of you were satisfied with how much work you’d gotten done that day began packing up the office, putting away files and leaving to-do lists for Monday. Matt walked out of his office and stood next to your desk, Mia was on the floor slowly putting her toys back into the box.

Suddenly, Matt started breathing heavily and bent over, having to hold onto the desk for support as if he’d just been hit in the gut. His eyes were wide and you were immediately concerned – you couldn’t lose him too.

“Matt, are you alright? What’s wrong?” You asked concerned, a hand on his arm and one on shoulder.

He turned his head towards you and the look on his face was worrying, a mix of horror and confusion. It made your blood go cold; the last time he looked like that the whole world came crashing down.

“Something’s happened” He breathed out, putting a hand on your arm and squeezing tight.

“Are you okay, dada?” Mia asked from her spot on the floor, confusion all over her face.

It was then you heard it, you heard everything; people yelling and screaming, cars honking, and sirens going off. Your legs almost gave way, your heart thundering in your ears and breathing becoming difficult as you try to comprehend what was happening.

Another breath left your lips, you squeezed your eyes shut and when you opened them there was another person in the room. Time seemed to stop, all the noises outside seemed to quiet as you took in the face of the person standing in front of you. Your voice had been ripped from you with the breath you had been holding, Matt was the one to speak first.

“Foggy?”

a/n: Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it and please let me know if you did <3 I could probably add some extra scenes in (or even write Karen and Foggy's return) so if you'd like to read more let me know and I might think about writing some more :) P.S: the 'important song' referenced about halfway through is Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer bc I LOVE that song.

[visiblenostalgia]

Pluto in Aquarius Resource Pack:

I don't know who needs to hear these, but I think it's best to have these things as of late when concerning the transition into Pluto in Aqua. If AI is increasingly running the show, we must go back to our human ways in order for us to keep ourselves sane. These are but some of the tools I have in stock to help us through it, and I thought I might share. They may become very useful down the line if the internet becomes far more decentralized and local.

(EDIT AS OF 12/12/2024 (gasp! angel number day!)) My request: reshare this and link it to whoever needs it most or is inspired by it most. I think this may help to soothe some stresses and woes. My viewers and those that come across this post are my most important people. Thank you for also seeing my stuff as per usual and give me a follow for more if you're interested (even if I may repost some gravity falls stuff so if you're also keen on that, keep a looskie out for it). I'm so happy I'm making a reach with my stuff and I want to continue. Pluto in Aqua has lit a fire under my ass for content related to it and I hope to be a sort of 'lax-messenger about it to my peeps on the web. Y'all are amazing and thank you for the support!

more under the cut

Literature...

Some books to help you gradually ease into this collective shake up:

Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism (and Slow Productivity) Might I suggest using these texts to help you navigate this digital dark time. One to use for digital regression and one for staying sane in your WFH space.

The Transcendent Brain: Spirituality in The Age of Science by Alan Lightman This one was a quick pick that I channeled while at work. Haven't read it yet, but it poses a good disposition to the Pluto in Aqua transit for some odd intuitive reason.

Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino It's an anthology that describes to us what the algorithmic design of social media does to its people -- and women namely. If you want a book to capture your attention and also somewhat be part of a send-off to Neptune in Pisces next year, this will be a perfect book to look at.

7 Habits Collection (Of highly effective people and highly effective teens -- Sean & Stephen R. Covey) If you're looking to game up your humanity skills, whether younger or older (both are good refresh books), take a good gander at each for reference. May help you out more than good due to the Saturnian nature of Aquarius.

Originals: How Non-Conformists Move The World by Adam Grant If you're stuck on your capability to innovate, or have art block like a motherfucker, this is a book for those in need of a motivational boost for this Pluto Transit. Highly recommend!

Liberalism And It's Discontents by Francis Fukuyama Knowing that political systems have started to fall apart (communism, capitalism and many others), then this is a good place to start giving yourself ideas on what to support or what parties to make (if you're a political science major, PLEASE read Fukuyama's work I beg you). The systems that we've seen historically do not work anymore. We have to innovate whether we like it or not. Save the nostalgia for culture and at-home indulgences. Involving it with politics kills a system.

Robert Greene's 'The Daily Laws': 366 Meditations on Power, Seduction, Mastery, Strategy, and Human Nature There's an entry a day within this book. The author recommends to read it EVERY DAY. Introspection is also healthy under this Pluto in Aqua transit. You must do so from a detached perspective in order to be successful. If you missed at least 3 days or however many, read however many you've missed. A good challenge for every year. Easy new year's resolution goal or just a good routine add on that shouldn't take you more than 10 minutes to do.

Websites...

Some places online to get you in those smaller, private networks

When it comes to spacehey, you'll find things you'd never be able to on that site. I mainly use mine for blogging books I've read and cooking stuff. I'm in a mom-blogging era put it this way (I'm an auntie of two, a niece and a new half-great-nephew. I love my position in life right now).

P.O.I. (points of interest) concerning Neocities:

In searching by tag: searchengine, japanese, 90s, 2000s, comic, (insert big city name here)

There is a bunch. If y'all want me to make a monthly newsletter on neocities websites and what I've found, i guess i can make another blog for it so I can post my findings there. Keep a look out!

use in tandem with what you've learned from Cal Newport's Slow Productivity

Entertainment...

For those going the economic route:

ROKU's & any true 'FREE Tv Streaming service' available. Good to have these in economically strife-d times.

Ofc YouTube being close second. (not yt. premium)

(START WATCHING LONG FORM CONTENT YALL)

Not to also mention: If you have a video game system that still takes discs for content (like the PS4 and Xbox 360/ONE), you can convert them into a DVD streaming platform. If not that, it's already enabled, start collecting/owning some content of your own. Go to the thrift shops. Go to the supermarket and look for the analog option. Shop eBay. Go on Etsy. ANALOG FTW

If you're going for anything news based, consider also going for newspapers -- make going for a newspaper cool again! Even better if it's local or independent!

SHOPPING:

ofc go for reuseable bags. use the coupon deals at the stores. read the coupons that the cashier gives you and see what you can do with them. tax exemptions don't count sadly enough. get a Costco membership and shop in bulk (still, remember the economic options of going for those deals)

side topic: FOOD & COOKING:

opt for making your own cookbooks and write them somewhere that can be looked back on when you get the chance. It's always useful to have something like that on hand. That way you and neither your family forget the recipes that brought you together.

In a sense:

Stick it to the big man and go for the cheaper, less expensive option (and stick to them)

Learn skills on your own terms

Read, Read, Read, Learn, Learn, Learn

Turn off your phone and laptop, keep them in the office (unless your phone IS the alarm) and opt for the Television or a piece of paper.

Connect with gaming in a communal or skill-based sense. Go for card games. Daily newspaper games too. Think northernlion when he does various trivia games online.

Pluto in Aqua may yet have more in store for us, but in current times, this seems to be (to what I think) is best for us.

Rely on your community, rely on yourself. The world is an infinitely chaotic place, but so as long as we have one another, we'll make it through.

[ramcharantitties]

Rangrez

Chapter 4- Prideful Job

Sita's note: I am sorry if this is late and boring- i tried my best. Please have a good read! Also I have posted Raghuvan on Ao3, do check it out <3

Kainat woke up with shock, her chest heaving and body sweating. She felt like Lahore was calling for her. She looked around the room, to realize she was in her own home in Delhi now, no more bound to the golden cage of Heeramandi. As long as it took, Kainat strayed upon a to-let house. It was not as huge as her Shahi Mahal, but she wasn't a tawaif here anymore. Just smaller than her room back in Lahore, she was happy to start a new life with a new family. To march to her goals, away from being part of someone else's lustful fantasies. As much as she hated it, she had to sell some of her precious ornaments to afford the house. She still had the money to use given by Satto bi, but she managed to keep them safe. The first piece of jewelry she sold was a gold chain from what she stole from Rehana. The one thing that was helpful right now, was that the rich quality of these jewelry were going to benefit her. It only took one single chain to get her a house. Upon opening the cloth she tied that jewelry in, Kainat found the keys to Rehana's locker.

Would Rehana notice? She had a bad feeling, as if Shahi Mahal was calling for her. Kainat felt as if Fareedan was calling out for her, as if there was a great trouble in Shahi Mahal. Her hand wrapped around the silver keys, the cold providing her an untold feeling.

Kainat shook her head and got up, it was her first time away from her home and that's why she might be feeling this way. If nawab did go back to Shahi Mahal complaining that Kainat ran away, there would be some searching done for her. Since there was no news yet in Delhi, she was sure she wasn't found yet. Kainat took a deep breath and drank some water. It was pitch black in the night, overlooking the police barracks. Kainat was still very unsure about Ram. What repercussions was he talking about? And who was He to punish her for such repercussions? The only way to accept his behaviour was that he is a paranoid person. Kainat shook her head, settling back in bed.

It only took Kainat one or two stroll in the market to find where the revolutionaries were assembled or having a meeting. The look of being right but sneakily, the fear of being caught protecting the country, it was too much visible in their eyes. The next day, Kainat made to a revolutionary meeting like that. Her face veiled from the world, she was covered in a dark dupatta and a plain suit to blend her in the crowd. She sat in the middle of the audience, where she spotted a few more women.

The meeting hall was a dimly lit, empty space, tucked away in the heart of the city where shadows danced on the walls like silent spectators. The air was thick with anticipation as revolutionaries from all walks of life gathered in unity. Amidst the dimness of the hall, Kainat's spirit burned with the fire of rebellion, pushing her forward with unwavering resolution. With each passing moment, she felt herself drawing nearer to the realization of her dream, her heart swelling with anticipation at the thought of playing a part in shaping the destiny of her nation. "We are the people of the country, and we must be the one responsible for it's better future. The water, the forests and the land is ours, it should be our oath to protect it." A man in sarafa stood ahead, addressing the crowd.

As the high of the meeting reached its peak, voices rose in unison, echoing through the dimly lit hall. The sense of unity among the revolutionaries grew stronger. With a nod of agreement exchanged among the gathered revolutionaries, the meeting concluded, but the flame of revolution continued to burn brightly in their hearts.

Kainat walked out, when she spotted the same leader of the meeting. a flutter in her steps pulled her forward, to meet him; to listen whatever he has to say any further. "-but we need money, we need some resources to make the riot possible".

Her hand reached forward, tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around to see a beautiful young woman, but the madness of independence burning bright in her eyes. "I can help". Kainat knew how to convince men, and she did. Upon their resistance and doubts, she had a firm answer- "I wish to play a role in our fight and I won't back down". Alas, they had to listen, letting her in their plan.

-

It was around four in the evening, when Ram made his way to the police station to enquire something. "I wish to ask something in Lahore police station- it's related to a case". Ram flashed a smile to the old constable, a landline telephone accessible to him.

"Which district?"

"Heeramandi"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging: @jkdaddy01 @ramayantika @definitelyhim @starlight-1010 @panikk-attackkk @vijayasena @lilliebeingdelulu @multifandom-boss-bitch @yehsahihai

[deathbydarkelves]

🪶☀️Elor'belo -- The Long Sun festival☀️🪶

In a moment of autistic genius, I came up with a whole new kaldorei holiday, centered around a long-distance hippogryph race. Big ol' info dump incoming.

Throughout the year, as the nights and days lengthen and shorten, Elune and the sun (or An'she, as I'll call it/him from now on. I know that's the tauren name but I think it works for the kaldorei to call him that too) are constantly in a race against each other. As An'she tires in winter, the days shorten and Elune overtakes him. Then as she tires in summer, the nights shorten and An'she overtakes her.

So, every year on the summer solstice, the day Elune is most tired from racing An'she, kaldorei hippogryph riders race him in her stead. They race from dawn to noon, traveling east to west and ending at the peak of Mt. Hyjal, the highest point on Kalimdor, to intimidate him with their racing prowess even when he is highest in the sky. Then as he falls, exhausted, Elune can continue the race again. In 7-8 hours, the racers cover almost 350 miles/~560 km. They start in eastern Hyjal the moment dawn breaks, then fly down to Ashenvale, then weave back up through the mountains to the peak of Mt. Hyjal.

Now, since the in-game world is TINY, I've decided to approximate Kalimdor's "real" north-south length to be ABOUT 4,000 mi/6,400 km. That makes it a bit smaller than South America. Or, because this is how my brain processes distance: Sam and Frodo would have to walk their path from the Shire to Mordor 2-3 times (depending on who you ask) to cover the same distance.

With that in mind, here's a rough approximation of the route, using the wonky proportions of the in-game map because I haven't made my own yet (</3):

The race has changed over time. Historically, it went from dawn to dusk, starting in Azshara, going through Ashenvale, some years going as far west as Darkshore, then ending on Mt. Hyjal. But over time and as circumstances on Kalimdor changed, the race was shortened both in time and in length. Lots of riders and hippogryphs alike would become dangerously exhausted during the historic 14-16 hour long race, Azshara is mostly Horde territory now, Darkshore is... not doing so hot right now, and so on.

Here's a, again, very rough approximation of the historical route:

And that's the "official" race, which is often initiated and attended by the High Priestess and Archdruid themselves. There are multiple smaller festivals/races across Kalimdor, but they all follow the same concept: race An'she east to west from dawn to noon, and end at the highest point possible. Some places even still run from dawn to dusk, as some believe the health risks are just something one has to deal with when racing a god, and that they're worth it to race on Elune's behalf.

Besides the race itself, the night prior there's always a huge festival with food and song and dance to hype up the racers. And the night after the race there's even more, this time with additional ceremonies, prayers, and offerings to Elune to help her get her "second wind" as it were.

Importantly, the overall spirit of the race and festival is one of friendly competition. The kaldorei aren't, like, ideologically opposed to the sun lol. It's vital for most life, and they know that. They race An'she to keep things fair between him and Elune.

And, of course, Elor'belo exists as a way for people to get together and enjoy good food and music, and cheer for their favorite racer(s). Here's some of the sorts of characters you might see competing because I need practice drawing hippogryphs anyway:

Miscellaneous notes:

The race distance is meant to be almost the maximum distance someone could ride in the time given. Only about 20% of racers can even do so with minutes to spare, with the remaining 80% finishing in the early-to-mid afternoon. But in the event someone does reach Mt. Hyjal well before noon, there's a second leg that takes them through Nordrassil's branches up to its very top. Very few people have ever completed that second leg before noon, and it's a very good omen for the rest of the year when someone does.

Different species of hippogryphs have different top speeds and stamina levels. Each has its own pros and cons when it comes to a race like this, which relies on both speed and endurance, and you'll always see a wide variety in the competitors.

On a related note: In the days of Queen Azshara, hippogryphs were selectively bred for different appearances and endurance levels, etc., like horses. That practice ended after the Sundering because in the new, more druidic culture of the kaldorei, it became a bit of a controversial topic to breed creatures as intelligent as hippogryphs. As a result most of those breeds are extinct now, but a handful of them are still kicking around with their own self-sustaining populations. That piebald one pictured above is an example.

The quel'- and sin'dorei have their own version of Elor'belo where they race Elune on the winter solstice. Since there aren't very many Thalassian words (with translations), and no fanmade dictionary I'm aware of, I'm thinking of just calling it Elor'elun ("Long Moon").

Baldur by Faun is the song that gave me the idea for this entire thing. I highly recommend giving it a listen, it's a bop.

[raayllum]

“Something else troubles you,” Opeli said more warmly after a beat. Ezran sighed and took a seat on his throne. Soren and Corvus were his crownguard (and occasional speech helpers) but Opeli was his political confidant. His guide as king. And yet sometimes, the path before him still felt insurmountable, no matter how steady she was and how willing he was to put in the work. The fact the world had almost ended and Aaravos was still technically a threat didn’t help matters. “Callum and Rayla want to go find a weapon that can supposedly kill Startouch elves,” he reiterated. “To end Aaravos for good. But I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do... and on our quest into Xadia, we met an Archdragon and a pirate captain, and...” We offered gifts that meant a lot to us, but they don’t mean anything to you... Sentiment’s worth even less than steel here, lad. Ezran rubbed at his face. “I just don’t get how people can not care,” he admitted. “How can do they do that? How can they just not care? How can they just... not react, or respond, or think about the bigger picture other than themselves? Katolis... we have to lead the way towards peace. We can’t afford to fall back into the cycle that’s already taken so much from us. I understand anger. I don’t understand apathy or—or selfishness. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who values peace and the path it takes to get there.”  “Most people can only care about so much, King Ezran. There are many who are sworn to ideals, like myself to Lady Justice, or to notions coupled with people—Soren and Corvus protect you because you are their friend, but also because you are their king. But there are others whose scope is much smaller and just as deep. At the end of the day,” she said, reaching down to place a hand on his shoulder, and offer a small smile, “most people just want to see their friends and family safe. The end of the world is something the holy books attempt to describe, but even gospel and prophecy can only do so much to turn people’s heads and inspire their hearts. 

X

“You know it’s not the same. Zubeia saw Zym and changed her mind. The Moonshadow elf—” “Oh, so he’s the elf now? His name is Runaan—” “He saw the egg and he would’ve still killed both of us!” “You think I don’t know that?” “Then how you can not care?” Ezran cried, voice cracking. His nose was runny, eyes stinging again. He bit something back. He wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t lose this argument just because he was crying. There was a fire in his chest that couldn’t be doused. “I do care, but I also care—I care more about Rayla,” Callum countered, because of course that’s what he’d fucking say. Ezran turned away from him, rolling his eyes and not in the mood to see Callum gesture at him. “She’s our family, why isn’t that—” Ezran turned back to him, incensed, a hand on his chest. “I’m your family! Who was here, huh, while she was gone and you were falling apart? Who was here keeping Dad’s kingdom from disaster while you off playing High Mage with your stupid fucking mirror? I had to do it all on my own —why can’t you be on my side for once?” “You had Opeli and the rest of the council,” Callum said. “Don’t you get it? We’re all she has, we have to be on her side, she doesn’t have—” “AND I WANT YOU TO BE MY BROTHER!”

Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 of "teach me how to name the bigger light"

[circusmania]

SIN Chapter 11

𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑

Notes: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

⚠️ Death (are we surprised?) ⚠️

♡

𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑

Though I am aware I am falling, I feel no wind blow in my face. It's almost as if there's no wind at all. As if I'm floating instead of falling. The only way I know I'm falling is because I'm getting closer and closer to a blue light. 

And then, I slammed on the ground. I looked up, Omar's body was nowhere, as if it had evaporated. 

In front of me was a large, light blue clock that gleamed. 

Tick Tick 

It sounded throughout the whole pocket dimension. 

I got up, approached the clock and reached for it, but my hand fazed right through it. Suddenly, I hear a soft thump behind me. I look back to see Marcus, he's normal again. 

“You've got quite a knack for getting away, should I cut off your arms and legs next rese-”

“What is this place?”

There's an awkward silence as Marcus stares.

“The in-between.” He says.

“The clock ticks for as long as this timeline is alive. After it collapses, the clock stops. Then, I come here, apply my changes and the clock restarts.” He continues.

I turn back toward the clock. “How long has it been going for?”

He looks at the clock. “This timeline? Roughly 36 hours.”

“WHAT!? But I've been here for weeks!”

“Have you? On certain, more important days, time slows. On others, time skips itself. I like to keep a fast pace, I don't like to wait.”

I stare in silence, and then I look away. “You said the clock stops after the timeline collapses… Why is it still going?”

“Because you're still alive, my dear. I misspoke, it stops after MY world 'collapses'.” He smirks and I grimace.

“You said you come here to also 'apply changes'?” I tried to change the subject.

His smirk widens. 

“Yes! Each of my timelines is different, and here is where I change 'em.”

He turns around and looks into the void. He waved his hand and up came an interactive light blue panel with a bunch of codes written on it. I walk up next to him and stare up at the panel. 

“Here,” He pointed to the codes. “These codes make up a timeline. Everything is made up of code. Well… almost everything. Our matter isn't... we are... We. I can't change how one feels. Though, I did implant my own codes.”

He waved his hand and suddenly, the green digits turned to a selected one. There, I saw pictures of... us. It looked like a game video where you select your character... He touched my photo, which opened to its own “code”. Though it was less complex and the code was shorter. 

The very first code caught my eye. Amongst the symbols, it was written: “Memory refresh: every reset.”

I hummed. “How do you write each code?”

He grinned as a keyboard came up from the panel. “It's just like typing on a computer.”

I looked down and then back up. “So, like this?” 

I took the mouse, clicked on the 'memory code' bar and added the caret to the end of the code. 

“Ah! Ah! Careful there, dear. You wouldn't want to erase anything important!” Marcus grabbed my hand and shoved me on the keyboard, moving the mouse away. 

“Marcus-” He released my hand and went down to caress my inner thighs. My left hand moved to press the delete button...

 “Oh, how I wish we could just stop this cat-and-mouse chase, hun. What good does it do us both?” His hands trailed up my body.

“I-”

“Doesn't it grow tiring? I know I'm tired. I could just force you to love me, but where's the romance in that?”

His hands moved to my neck, crushing it. 

“Agh! Marcu-!” I gasped.

He... he's crushing my neck! Not choking, CRUSHING.

I struggled, but as he said before, he wasn't a man of patience. My voice emitted a gurgling sound as the clock stopped ticking.

˖⁺‧₊˚🌃🌄🌅˚₊‧⁺˖

“Mmmm…” I groaned as I got up from my bed. 

My room felt smaller… I got up and looked down from my window, I was in an… apartment. 

Oh! Ah... yes, I remember!! 

Marcus must've changed the settings for this timeline. 

Hm. Deleting that memory code was a smart move, I'm disappointed I hadn't known about it sooner. Or maybe I had... just wasn't fast enough...

I sigh, pick up the clothing off my bed and put it on. 

Suddenly, I hear a throat being cleared behind me. I turn and see... Omar.

“You're up early.” He said, smiling, though I could hear a hint of coldness.

He must still be... mad about our last interaction. 

I wonder how Vanessa and... Judy feels.

“Ah, I'm not that tired,” I reply, just now noticing the other bed in the dorm room. Omar is my roommate... huh.

I flash him a smile and walk out. His eyes follow me until I exit. The hallway is empty... Though, by the look of this establishment, I must be in a university. 

I guess he had gotten bored with the usual high school. 

“Ahem.” A voice behind me clears her throat... again.

I turn around (again...) to see... Judy.

“You failed...”

My heart sank, I opened my mouth and-

“... The tryouts.”

“What?” I look at her dumbfounded. 

“You didn't get into the team. Better luck next time... If they'll be one.” She shows me a paper which has the team on it.

I looked at the paper she pulled up. Amongst the list, my name was indeed not on it.

Oh.

Although, I knew what Judy was hinting at. 

I wanted to say something, anything, an apology... But I couldn't. It's too early, I can't risk it. 

“Ah... well, better luck next time, ha ha!”

Judy nods.

...

“See you around...?” 

Judy raises her head.

“You're not coming to class?”

“Ah... no, not today. I'm not feeling it.”

“You're skipping? You never skip...-”

“Ah well, there's a first time for everything, eh?”

I wave her goodbye and run away. Okay, I need to find that panel without causing the world to collapse. 

Maybe if I delete or code it some way, I can put an end to this. 

I won't have any luck trying to find it myself... I need to ask someone.

Marcus is off the table.

Vanessa would be too suspicious.

Judy... I don't think she's even aware of it.

Omar... Marcus's “second in command”.

He obviously won't give it to me willingly... so I need to SOMEHOW get him to be on my side.

Which worked REALLY well last time... God, he saw it coming the moment Judy died...

I already made him suspicious of me waking up early... Hm. 

I also haven't seen Marcus yet... Where is he? 

And — like a moth to a flame — I hear chattering from around the corner. I turn and see... what the hell.

It's Marcus... but he's crowded by… fangirls…? 

...

You'd think that after my last stunt, he'd want to avoid as much distraction as possible. 

That he'd want to have all eyes on me... Not the opposite.

I quickly turn and walk outside the university. 

Outside was the same as it's always been, except the church, who was now just a magazine store dedicated to Marcus. 

Give me a break, who's he trying to impress?...

I arrived back at the university, I have fifty missed calls from Judy, but yet I can't bring myself to call back. 

I avoid Judy like the plague and make my way to my dorm. Omar is already there, getting ready for bed. 

It's strange... how it was morning, and now it's night.

“Oh. You're finally back.”

“Yeah.... uhm... did you see the new guy?” I try to play it off.

He lights up. “Marcus? The model?”

“Yeah. Must be quite obnoxious having a crowd follow you all day. Was trying to get a better look, but the crowd was too big.”

“Yeah... I guess? That's what you were doing all day?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Well, no, obviously not. I was checking out the new magazine store.”

“Ah yes, the one that I told you about? Have you checked out any of the myth magazines? They're pretty interesting.”

“Didn't find 'em... the place was littered with someone's face.”

He turned away, folding some clothes. I could tell he was smiling, though.

“Oh, when you get the chance, make sure to call Judy. She was freaking out all day.”

“Mm, will do.”

I smiled and went into the bathroom to change into my pyjamas. I came back soon, Omar was in bed. He was breathing softly, maybe not sound asleep, but I had to make my move now. 

I walk to Omar's bed, get on him and start to straddle him... and then I start to choke him.

He awakens quickly and tries to pry me off. He would've easily succeeded if he hadn't lost that much air while gasping. 

“W-what- Are you--”

“The panel. Where is it?”

“P--Panel??”

“You're Marcus's second in command, and you don't know about the panel??”

“GAH! W-wHAT!??”

“SHH. The clock! The-The codes! The Inbetween!”

He stopped wailing, hands still gripping mine. I let him inhale more air.

“The ... Inbetween?”

“Yes-”

Suddenly we switched positions, and I was the one being choked.

“HE TOOK YOU THERE?!”

“AH! Fuck! Let-GAH!” I gripped his arms. “OMAR SToP! Do you know what Marcus will do if HAH!” I gasp as Omar lets go of my neck.

“O-Oh... my god... hah... I wasn't actually going to choke you to death...” I gasp.

“How was I supposed to know? After what you did to Judy and Vanessa...”

I looked away, ashamed. “Do you know where it is...?”

“And I should tell you because...?”

“Well... you'd be helping us get one step closer to freedom...”

“Did you not listen to my last monologue? I have POWER here.”

“Power? Omar Marcus wiped the floor with you last time. You have no power here. In his eyes, you're just like Judy and Vanessa...”

He stayed silent.

“Don't you miss the real world? The taste of freedom? The feeling of being able to have a family? That one day, you'll pass?”

“...”

“This time ONLY. And you better hope that we don't get caught.” He said as he got up.

I sat up and slid off the bed.

“The panel is located in the inbetween, which only opens up with Marcus's scythe, which breaks the timeline or Marcus himself.”

“Marcus's scythe? The thing you had last time? What does it do?”

“Wreaks havoc, destroys everything in its path.”

“So... if I get my hands on it…”

“If you think you'd be able to stop Marcus with a scythe, you'd be dead wrong. Who would be dumb enough to create something that kills its own creator?”

None of us answered the question.

“Okay... well, where do you find it?”

“Well it used to be in the church, above the altar, then it was in Marcus's house and as of now — after the last timeline — he keeps it on himself.”

“Fuck… that makes it ten times harder…” I groan in defeat.

“Well, technically, if you got close enough to the panel, you COULD code the scythe to spawn somewhere else…” Omar hinted.

“... How do I get to the Inbetween?”

“Well, besides ending a whole timeline, there is another way down… You’ll need to go to the basement of the university, then take the thousand-step staircase down until you reach the bottom, aka the Inbetween.”

“Refreshing. You’re not coming with me?”

“No. I’ll lead you to where the basement is, but that’s it. I don’t want to be held accountable. If you get caught, that’s on you.”

I was going to say something… but he’s right. I wouldn’t want to meet Marcus wrath twice… And so I nod.

“Alright, well let’s go. I don’t want to waste any more time than I already have.”

He nods back, and so we start walking out the dorm and through the university. Omar doesn’t say anything to me as he leads me to the basement. 

I try to initiate a conversation.

“So, uhm… I haven’t seen Vanessa… Where is she?”

Omar scoffed. “She’s out there crying. Apparently, dying by your hands really took a toll on her. Guess she’s finally coming to terms with reality.”

I purse my lips. I forgot that Omar is not who I thought he was. Not my best friend anymore.

We soon reached two big doors, they looked like the doors that close during a fire in schools. Big metal doors. 

I step closer and try to open them, though they don’t budge. I open my mouth, but Omar pushes me aside, and he opens the door, though he’s visibly struggling. 

 “Ah… these doors aren’t really meant to be opened. That’s why they’re so heavy. Usually, if you were to touch it, you’d blindly turn away since these doors were designed to give you second thoughts. It takes a lot of want to open these doors.” 

I look inside, it’s pitch black inside, besides the faint glow of the stairs. I take a step forward, then another until I’m past the doors. 

I look back at Omar. 

“You’ve come far, it’s the farthest you’ve ever gotten.” He smiles before closing the doors. 

I look back down and start walking. It takes a long while to get down. It’s neither cold nor hot, neither lukewarm nor room temperature, it’s a weird feeling. 

Eventually, I came across a large crack between the stairs, separating them by 15 meters. I couldn’t make that jump even if I tried, no way. I would definitely fall. 

Should I just turn back? But if I fall and splat on the ground I’ll just reset… and then I’ll have to find everything all over again. Not to mention Marcus will find out. 

Omar was right, it’s a real sense of wanting. 

I jumped off.

My body reacts and I get chills running down my spine… but I don’t fall. Well, I am falling, just slowly, as if I was but a feather. 

I don’t know if this is faster than walking but… I guess it works. 

I soon reach the end, the faint glow of the clock welcomes me and so does its ticks. 

The clock has been going for roughly about two hours and 28 minutes… which seems impossible but… honestly I’m not even surprised. 

I walk over to the void and wave my hand for the control panel, and it appears. I quickly start browsing, searching for any code to stop the madness. 

Though, ultimately, I find nothing…

Well, maybe not nothing. My eyes land on a familiar scythe.

I reach for it, and it opens up its own panel. It has its name; Alter. Mm. 

There was a code as you looked lower, dedicated to where the scythe would spawn. It was put as Marcus’s spiked wristband… how does that work, don’t ask me. I wrote a new code, where it would spawn in my pocket instead. 

I would have to act quickly next reset, he’d surely realize. 

My hand leaves the keyboard and I move to turn around when a sharp pain punctures my stomach. 

I gag and choke, I turn back and see Vanessa standing there. 

Fuck. 

I curse as I kick her feet, making her stumble. 

I cry out as Vanessa continues to stab me wherever she can reach. 

I yell, whine… spots of black start to cloud my vision. 

Though, she doesn’t stop. 

The art of revenge.

𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑𖦹๋࣭⭑

Want to read ahead? Click here!

[mediocre-shark-tales]

Qsmp x Streamer reader (3)

Summary - You find comfort with Tallulah, she loves hanging out with you when you are on. You also have hung out with Foolish and his silly eggs as well. However recently you have seen some wanted lists drop on the QSMP twitter.

Warnings - None for this part

There is a chance for this to turn into a love trope of some kind but for now there is focus on fluffy platonic-ness

This series will not be 100% lore accurate, but it will be pretty close to it. If certain people don't log on soon, I may change things around until they do actually log on.

Masterlist

I logged onto the qsmp server, for the last few minutes I was just chatting with my viewers. This was my first stream now living in London, merely a short drive away from most of my friends. Tommy and Tubbo had been here yesterday to help me finish moving in. Even Wilbur had stopped by after them, which was perfect timing as I was trying to put my books up on this shelf that I could barely reach. Even though I was trying to be a good host and continue doing the work myself. Wilbur snatched the books from me and put them on the shelf, while telling me that "it's okay, this is just a small way I can contribute to help you move in. Especially since I won't be around for a bit still." That was the few free hours he had before he would need to go off and finish some more work for a billion other things.

Wilbur and I were really close among my friends, we were able to bond over our similar music taste, video editing and many other smaller things. He had been really happy to see that I got into this film school not only because I would be much closer and on his time zone, but also because I was finally somewhere that would help me reach my personal dreams.

Right now my main problem was getting myself acquainted to the new time zone. Wilbur had left behind a few different medical drugs, teas and such that had helped him sleep in the past.

Anyways, as my world loaded I found myself chilling in my pirate ship house. I left the captain quarters and ran into my little hut. Switching to my shark mode and swimming down the long tunnel. Down in the basement, I grabbed a few gifts from my chests. Along with the stuff needed to help the gift receiver keep said gift. Then I checked who was online, a small smile creeping on to my face as I left the basement.

Once I was on land I slowly made my way to the ocean surrounding my island. Being in shark mode on land made me a lot slower than others. Once I was in the ocean I swam back to the main island. Then I switched back to the non shark mode and ran across the island. Sprinting as quickly as I could to the spawn. Here I stopped by the bakery to turn in a few items and getting cookies in return.

I liked to have extra cookies to help out anyone who asked or any eggs that had been accidentally forgotten about. Gotta keep the baby's alive. I then sprinted to the way stone and tp'ed over to tallulahs house.

Once I got there, I knocked on her door. However seconds later I could hear her flute as she began to play her iconic tune. usher playing just above me. Looking up I saw tallulah dancing and playing her flute. In the next second she jumped off her balcony and slowly fell down using her glider.

"Hey Tallulah, I brought you a gift today!" Thanks to my qsmp lore, they had added a few mods that added more ocean and lake animals. This helped to expand my business of collecting underwater necessities. A few days ago Tallulah had told me she really liked a few of the new fishes and the crabs. So I decided to collect her a few along with the necessities needed to make her a couple big fish tanks. She needed more than one cause some of the mobs would eat the other mobs I got for her.

She placed down her sign and asked what it was. "Well remember that time you told me you thought a few of the new fish and crabs were cute?" She nodded. "I got you all the ones you like, so we can build a couple personal fish tanks where ever you would like!" In a reaction of excitement she did the flipping emote and then quickly started to dance as well. I laughed and began to dance with her as well.

I heard talking begin to increase in volume as the person got closer. "Hey y/n! Hi Tallulah!" Yelled foolish as Leo followed behind him. Leo waved at me and I have back. "Hey Leo and Foolish!" "What are you up to today?" Foolish asked. "Well I brought a few fish and crabs for Tallulah so I was going to build her some fish tanks." I heard a gasp from him. "That sounds awesome, would you get me some fish if I asked too?!" I laughed. "Of course I would! Especially for the right price. Your timing is great actually, cause since I'm so new the only thing I ask for as a trade is anything that might be useful for me." I told him. "Like what do you mean by that?" He asked, while Tallulah placed down a sign I continued.

"Well on day one Phil brought me that waystone or the grappler or even the glider. So he definitely has a few jobs he can ask from me in the future if he needs anything." Foolish responded in an understanding. "OOOOOOOOH that makes sense." Tallulah finished typing and I read her signs. "Okay we can build a mini aquarium with your turtles." I said with a smile. "I can help excavate a new room for that if you would like the help." Foolish offered.

"Okay that would be great! Let's go!." We quickly ran over to the turtle heaven and watched Tallulah mine out a hole exactly where she wanted the door to be. "alright Tallulah, foolish and I will carved out the room, we will make it three blocks high. You can mine the floor and replace it with whatever floor style you want." Tallulah nodded and we got to work. Foolish and and had planned out the width and length of the room, easily getting to work on it without disruption. "Hey y/n have you seen the wanted posters on the QSMP twitter page?" I smiled, I had heard about this and was excited since this was my first qsmp event. It would also be the first time I got to drop some real lore.

This lore was not meant to be understood right away, after all this was just the beginning of my part in this story. Everyone's wanted posters were hilarious but still made sense for each person. However mine was the most interesting, seeing as I was the only one without any 'crimes' this of course made sense since I had just gotten here a few days ago. But still this didn't make it interesting, it was the fact that all the words on my wanted poster had been 'tampered with'. Besides my stream name, all the words had been written in code. My picture obviously must have had my Minecraft skin in the orange prison jumpsuit, except it was hard to tell since most of it had been scribbled out in black ink. On top of this black was red ink that wrote one word... mirar.

Of course I had to keep all this lore under wraps until the event finally got started. Fans were already theorizing so I had to keep a watch on everything I said and did. No story was ever successful if you gave away too much too fast right?

"yeah I have seen them." I replied to Foolish. "Obviously we must be going to prison for this next even then right?" I pretended to think for a moment. "Yeah I guess, unless maybe we are now just on the run from the feds for a bit or something like that?" We almost had the whole room excavated now. "Yeah I guess that could also be a possibility." Foolish agreed. I could almost hear the cogs turning as he went quiet again. I knew he may ask about my photo, so behind the scenes where my viewers would have no idea what I was doing. I switched to my other screen and typed out a warning to foolish on discord. It read, 'Do not bring up my wanted poster, don't say anything about it. I was told by the admins I could not spoil anything more than what they had done. So just don't talk about it as a safety precaution.' After clicking send I spoke again, trying to hint for him to look at our chat without actually saying it. Thank god, a few days ago I had come up with a code word and told everyone, if I say this word in any sentence you are to not question it and do what I ask as it is lore related.

I know, why would you ever think to come up with an idea like that? Well my admin friend had been talking to me that day, complaining about how hard it is to keep lore between streamers apart so that even the streamers would get a fun experience learning lore about their friends when the fans would. When I asked him to explain it more in depth, I realized that the main problem was keeping streamers from asking about another streamers lore. Especially in moments like this where it was going to be a small innocent question. Thus I made a code word, sending it out to all the current players that had been getting on the server recently. My code word was shark, I know classic me loving shark stuff. Anyways, if I ever say the word shark in a sentence and it is not related to explaining my shark-mer-mode, then that means they need to not question whatever I am asking them.

"Hey foolish wanna see this cute yet oddly kinda creepy shark baby?"

"uh yeah sure."

"Cool I'll send it on discord."

So I sent him an actually picture of a cute yet oddly kinda crepey shark baby. but right below it I had typed out,

'in case your chat asks to see the photo here is what I was talking about, but I only did this to make sure you didn't ask about the photo like I told you in the previous message.'

Of course he made sure to just talk about the picture, showing his chat when they asked. Of course I hd showed mine too when they asked.

Finally after a few more minutes, not only had we excavated the room, we had also helped tallulah change the walls and ceiling to match the vibe she wanted. Now I could get to work not the two huge tanks that would be on opposite side of the room. I gave foolish the items he need to make one tank while I made the other. My tank would be a hemisphere, but much closer to half an oval than half a circle. Foolish was going to do a tank that was too wide and the length of the wall.

In my tank was all the necessary plants and water for a few blue crabs and lion fish. The other tank would hold some more fun looking tropical fish and a few seahorses. With my tank, I had to add a small feeding system as the crab mod they installed required players to give caught fish to feed crabs and keep them alive. I told tallulah when to do it and how to restock. Also telling her that if she ever needs more and fast, that I would always drop any plans to get her some.

Finally with the room complete, I filled the tanks with water and placed the respective animals in their respective tanks. Then closed them up and admired our work. "This looks sick tallulah!" I heard foolish say. Leo instantly placed a sign and wrote in Spanish. 'Estoy de acuerdo, esto es increíble.' which translates to 'I agree, this is incredible.' Talullah simply replied with a 'thanks for the help'. I placed down a chest next to the crab tank and filled it with a few extra fish restocks, before we left to go on another random adventure together.

To be continued...

[the-al-chemist]

The Lights That Never Go Out

Chapter 3: Stars By The Pocketful

A/N: One night last November, my friend decided that it would be fun to go swimming in the sea. In my naïvety, I went along with it, thinking ‘how cold can it be?’. Turns out, pretty cold. It was horrible, and I hated almost every second of it. In the one second after the initial shock had worn off but before the mild hypothermia set in, the world went still. And in the stillness and darkness, a little voice in my head went “oh”. I went home, and I wrote the first draft of this chapter in the early hours of the morning.

This edited version is being submitted for @thethreebroomsticksfic’s Yule Bash, the prompt being ‘Frozen’.

Warnings: partial nudity and discussions of grief.

6th December, 1998

Night had fallen fast. It was not yet late, but still the only light came from the houses along the bay, from the village harbour to Shell Cottage, perched on the dunes at the top of the beach.

Artemis shivered through her knitwear and coat as she wandered along the darkened shore, the gently ebbing waves not quite reaching her feet. At least she was well wrapped up; the weather had turned decidedly wintry, despite it only being the start of December, and being so close to the ocean made it even colder. The wind that blew in over the sea was gentle but chilling.

The high tide made the beach smaller at this time of the evening. Artemis was grateful for that, it made it easier for her to find what — or rather, who — she was looking for in the dark. It was not long before she encountered Charlie standing at the water’s edge, looking out to where the sea blended seamlessly with the night sky.

“I thought I noticed you slip away after dinner,” she said as she approached him. “Mind if I join you?”

“Of course not,” Charlie replied, his face still turned towards the invisible horizon. “It’s cold, though.”

“I don’t mind. I’ve got layers on.”

Charlie exhaled, and Artemis squinted to see him better. He was always quiet, but had been more reticent than usual since their encounter with the Boggart the day before. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she could see the tears that were threatening his eyes. She stayed silent, somehow able to tell that if Charlie wanted to talk, he’d talk.

“I can’t believe it,” he said eventually. “It’s almost Christmas.”

Artemis nodded, though she doubted he could see her. “Yeah.”

“I mean, I knew that it’s almost Christmas, but I’ve been so busy with doing stuff to the house, and now tonight everyone won’t stop talking about it.” Charlie swallowed. “It just seems like we keep hitting all these horrible milestones, that’s all. One week, one month, six months. Now it’s going to be Christmas and then New Year and birthdays, and a whole year, and… I don’t know.”

Charlie might not have known, but Artemis did. Grief wasn’t new to her. It might have been nine years ago that Rowan had died, but she still remembered every emotion she had felt after losing her best friend, even now.

“I do. I know,” she told Charlie, and he looked at her for the first time, an apologetic look in his eyes. “Don’t, it’s fine. You’re right, though. The first year’s the hardest.”

“So another six months and it’ll get easier?”

The hope in Charlie’s voice made Artemis frown.

“Not exactly,” she said. “The reminders just get less frequent, that’s all.”

“Does it ever get easier?”

“Sort of, yeah. Well, no. Maybe? It’s more that you just get used to how hard it is, so it doesn’t hurt quite so much. Life goes on, and so do you, somehow.”

“Great,” Charlie muttered. “Lots to look forward to, then.”

“Would you prefer it if I lied to you?”

Charlie sighed before replying.

“No. I’d only be able to tell that you were lying, then I’d feel twice as bad,” he said. “Sorry, I know you’re only trying to help. You are helping, it’s just… It’s going to be tough. Lots of reminders. I’m guessing they never go away.”

“Sadly not.” Artemis took her hand out of her pocket and linked arms with Charlie, resting her head on his shoulder. “And you never really know when to expect them, either. They just pop up out of nowhere. They can be nice, though. Sometimes you remember things that you’d forgotten even happened before.”

She hadn’t been expecting Charlie to laugh, but he did. She lifted her head to look at him quizzically.

“I had that tonight,” he explained.

“Did you?” Artemis asked, and Charlie hummed in response. “What did you remember?”

“It was earlier, when we all walked over the beach before dinner. It reminded me of one time when we were younger,” he said, half-smiling as he looked back out at the black expanse of sea. “My aunt used to own this house, and we came here every summer for a holiday. One year — it must’ve been our first or second year at Hogwarts — we came here for Christmas as well, and on Christmas Eve, Mum sent us all out for a walk so she could get everything ready in peace.

“Well, we were just walking down the beach and everyone was getting bored because it was cold, and moaning that they wanted to go back in, and Mum really wanted us to stay outside for as long as possible. So, Bill had the great idea of having a competition as to who out of him and me would be ballsy enough to get into the water naked and stay in there the longest.”

“In December?” Artemis wrinkled her nose. “Wouldn’t that be—”

“Freezing? Yeah, it was.”

“You did it?”

“Of course I did. Couldn’t lose face to Bill in front of the others,” said Charlie. “But, as soon as we were in the sea and not looking, Fred stole all my clothes and buried them on the beach.”

“He didn’t!”

“He did. Little git. I never saw my lucky pants again, they’re probably still buried in the sand dunes somewhere. Lost forever.”

“How could they be lucky if they got stolen and lost?” Artemis asked, before giving Charlie a knowing look. “Did they have dragons on them?”

Charlie pulled a face. “Is that the only thing you think I care about?”

“They had dragons on them, didn’t they?”

“Yes, they did.”

“I knew it.” Artemis grinned. “Did you at least win the bet? Did you stay in the water longer than Bill?”

“Of course I did. You know I’m tougher than Bill.”

“That and you were probably too embarrassed to get out of the water without your clothes.”

“Rubbish. I just didn’t mind being in the cold water, that’s all,” Charlie said. Artemis raised one sceptical eyebrow, and he shrugged. “No, really. Once you get used to it, it’s really not that bad.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

“It’s true. Try it if you don’t believe me.”

“Very funny. I’m not falling for that.” Artemis laughed. “You want me to believe you, you get in and prove it yourself.”

To Artemis’ surprise, Charlie nodded.

“Alright. I’ll go in if you go in,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. Artemis looked at him sceptically, and a daring look flickered in his eyes, visible even in the dark. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me that Artemis Hexley is scared of a little cold water.”

“I’m not scared, I just can’t tell if this is a trick.”

“It’s not. I promise.”

After nearly twelve years of friendship, Artemis knew that Charlie wouldn’t go back on a promise. So, she nodded.

“Fine. But I’m keeping my underwear on,” she said firmly. “And don’t look while I take the rest off.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

More out of principle than anything else, Artemis waited until Charlie turned away before undressing herself. She doubted that he would have been able to really see anything, it was too dark for that. It was just as well, as by the time she had stripped down to her pants and crop top, Charlie was just in his boxers. Artemis didn’t really fancy checking to see whether or not they had dragons on them.

Her clothes now strewn on the sand, the cold night air was flush against her skin, and she was covered in goosebumps. She picked up her knitted hat and put it back on her head, in a futile attempt to recover some of the warmth she’d already lost, knowing that she was only going to get colder from this point forward.

Both shivering, she and Charlie fixed their eyes determinedly on the water that they were about to brave.

“It’s better if you run and go in right up to your shoulders,” Charlie informed her. “Ready?”

“Always ready. Born ready.”

“Alright, on three. One, two, THREE!”

The pair of them ran into the sea, shouting and screaming and swearing at the top of their lungs as they plunged into the icy water, so cold it was almost painful. As the sea around her got deeper, Artemis’ breathing got shallower, the water making her chest tight.

“Not that b-bad?” she said through chattering jaws. “This is-s horrid!”

“Just swim a bit,” Charlie said, already swimming away from her. “You’ll soon warm up.”

“Liar,” Artemis muttered, but she followed suit, paddling after him through the inky icy ocean.

They swam deeper into the sea before returning to the shallows. She couldn’t tell if the water had gotten warmer, or if she had gotten used to how cold it was, but by the time she was back in her depth the pain had subsided. She was still cold, but at least she could breathe a little easier.

It was darker in the water than it was on the shore, and by the time she could see Charlie, they were right beside one another, facing each other, so close they were almost touching. Their eyes met, and for a brief moment it was as if the whole world no longer existed. It was just them, together in the endless expanse of darkness.

Artemis realised that she wasn’t breathing, and she raised her face skywards, where at least the stars gave the tiniest specks of light against the otherwise pitch-black backdrop. There really were a lot of stars tonight. A multitude of stars.

“You’re frozen,” she heard Charlie murmur, and she dropped her gaze from the skies to his face once more.

She had forgotten how cold she was, and now that Charlie had pointed it out, she could feel how badly she was trembling. She instinctively stepped even closer to him, the fabric of her sodden crop top against his bare chest, and a great shudder went through her whole body. Charlie placed his hands on her upper arms and rubbed them with his thumbs. His touch was as gentle as his fingertips were rough. She could only assume that he was trying to warm her up, but it was no use. Charlie was shivering almost as much as she was.

“I thought you said it wasn’t that c-cold,” Artemis whispered.

“No, I d-didn’t,” Charlie replied, his shaky voice also quiet. “I said it wasn’t that bad.”

Artemis’ quivering lips curved into a small smile. Charlie had a point. It was strange, but there was something about this that wasn’t that bad at all.

[rhubarb-pie]

Can God help me pick a Fig?

We all struggle with picking figs when they are ripe enough. Slyvia Plath's Fig Tree is what I am referencing here- so we are on the same page. Standing stagnant under my own tree of seemingly endless amounts of ripe figs, I cannot make decisions in my life.

I could buy a house instead of renting like everyone else in their 20s. I could travel the world instead of staying in the same city my entire life. I could return to university and get a PhD instead of climbing the corporate ladder. I could sit here all day and list every decision I am personally at a crossroads with. It seems like every option is so different, but it could all be brilliant.

This might be a bad time to bring up, but it's Sunday as I am writing this. I did not go to Sunday Mass. There weren't any real excuses, so now there is guilt. How can I ask God to still help me pick a Fig, if I couldn't even show up? Confession will be interesting.

Regardless, I still want to ask. Lord, how does one know which Fig is the *right* Fig? Are they all fruit for a reason? Will each decision be fruitful in some capacity? Which seeds will branch out to your plan for me? For anyone who might be reading this?

I have a feeling that I am getting some sort of anxiety over the decision-making for picking a Fig. How can I get over this anxiety? The only clear solution, before God can intervene, is to do our part.

My patron saint, St Joan of Arc (so so cool) has a quote "Act, and God will act, work and He will work". Let me apply some logic and try to pick some of the Figs I mentioned before.

I have an inkling that I will likely remain in the same city, as primary residence. I have been applying for mortgages and fiddling with budgeting tools. Considering I may be in the same location for a while, or even forever considering my family is near, I should pull the trigger and purchase a home. If a mortgage is not feasible, I rent. Simple. Both Figs are still on the table. One that is not apparent from this angle is more within reach than another. That is all.

With a properly thought out budget, I could still travel the world. It wouldn't be non-stop consecutive backpacking like I have done previously. Maybe that is okay! I won't choose the backpacking Fig, but maybe smaller Figs representing smaller vacations and trips. 3 small Figs could be the same size as the 1 large Fig.

I have two hands. I may have to pick 2 Figs. One for back to higher education and one for corporate ladder. How else will I pay for the degree?

Now that I write all of this out, which could have well been a journal entry in my diary, I have only one remaining question. What if God is just waiting for us to pick a Fig? Why would God even put the Figs there if he didn't want us to consider them? Our standing beneath the tree stagnant and frozen only keeps the ball in our court. How can God act if we do not act ourselves?

The frustration of wanting God to pick something for me, to do something for me, to change my life for me... is pathetic! Our Heavenly Father puts faith in us, as we do in Him. We should have faith in ourselves when we go to pick a Fig. God made us to exhibit free will! He will guide us on our next adventure after we do.