#my third eye is a slimeball

[maliciouslove]

Beware of Hammock

ʚ pairing: slimeball denki x f!reader 

ʚ prompt: hammock 

ʚ word count: 1.1k

ʚ warnings: tw dubcon, tw alcohol consumption, tw weed mention, implied public sex, a bit lot of humiliation, compromising photos, not beta read, hammock

ʚ submission for the wet hot slimeball collab hosted by @bastardblvd :]

ʚ AN: well that was a fun little one hour writing challenge! as usual, thank you to merc and cassie for organizing and continuously giving me motivation and inspiration to create

The music blares as Denki fills everyone’s shot glasses with tequila. His best mate and emergency get-out-after-a-hookup contact Shinsou “the smoke” Hitoshi sitting next to him on the table cradling a fat joint, sitting amongst the rest of the infamous UA slut gang — Touya “the slut elder” Todorki, Katsuki “anger issues” Bakugo, Ochako “the crime lord” Uraraka, Mina “the dominatrix” Ashido, Sero “infinity rizz” Hanta and Eijirou “the cumbucket” Kirishima, the notoriously hung fratboy host of this party.

The third round of “never have I ever” is now ready to begin as Ochako lifts her shot glass above her head, commanding attention. 

“Never have I ever… had sex mid day at a beach party…” The brunette looks pointedly at her chair neighbour. “And filmed it.”

With a wolfish smile Touya downs his shot followed by a hissing sound as the liquid burns down his throat. Surprisingly (but not really) Kiri also downs his shot, and with a smug smile — so does Ochako. 

“The way this keeps going I’m gonna be shitfaced in under ten minutes.” Touya complains, slamming his shot glass down at the table, but the rest of the slut gang just laugh. They know he’d be shitfaced in ten minutes regardless of the game, as poor Touya has too many daddy issues to not attempt to drown them in booze.

“Mate, I gotta know, fer science n’ all — what is the worst or weirdest place you’ve had sex?” Denki asks with curiosity spaekling in his eyes. 

He’d never admit it but he looks up to Touya in a very sick and twisted way. It’s his biggest wish to one day have a body count as high as his. That scoreboard hidden in his locker at Slimebucks mocks him daily and reminds him of his noble goal to be a bigger slut than Touya himself.

After a pause to think, the eldest Todoroki confidently states: 

“On a fucking hammock. The logistics are just..” Touya can only shake his head in disapproval as the memory flashes before his eyes. He shudders. 

Kirishima lands a heavy hand on Touya’s back. 

“Can’t be that bad, can it?” 

There is a horrified look in Touya’s eyes as he clasps dramatically Kirishima’s hand in his, pulling him close to his face as if to emphasize his point. 

“Do not. Ever. Attempt. To fuck. On a hammock.” The black haired man pours himself another tequila shot and downs it. “Learn from my mistakes.”

These words of wisdom resonate in Denki’s head long after the game of “never have I ever” ended with Touya emptying the contents of his stomach under the table, unable to keep his liquor down any longer. 

Learn from my mistakes. 

But Denki could do more! He could better Touya’s mistakes, he had the confidence that he could pull of what Touya himself couldn’t. Moving through the crowds of people dancing he spots something from the corner of his eye — a hammock. 

Devious grin plastered on his face, the blonde quickly gathers up the unoccupied hammock, considering the logistics of Kirishima’s place and figuring out the best at least semi-private place he could hang up the hammock and the easiest prey he can catch to test said hammock out. 

Twenty or so minutes later he has the hammock set up behind a shed and he proceeds to the second part of a plan — finding himself a pretty pussy to fuck. And as if the Gods of Sex heard his prayers, the crowd seems to part like the Red Sea opening a path to you — the shy, but now quite drunk new girl. 

Within seconds he has an arm around your waist, twirling you and pushing you close to him as he dances right behind you, smugly enjoying the feel of your ass grinding against him.

“Didin’t think you’d make it today, pretty girl.” He whispers in your ear, partly to be seductive, partly because it was loud as balls. 

“Mina convinced me, said Kiri throws the wildest paries and it’s apparently illegal to miss them.” You giggle and with your confidence levels raised by the alcohol you turn, tits pressed to Denki’s chest and arms draped around his shoulders. 

“Well thank fuck for Mina, huh.” 

It’s easy to charm you, a gentle touch here, a whisper and a chaste kiss there, under half an hour and Denki had you wrapped around his finger, pulling you by the wrist as you giggle and follow him behind the shack where he had set up. 

Resting in a sort of sitting position on the hammock he beckons you closer with two fingers, and chock full of giddiness and alcohol you follow, letting him wrap his hands around your middle, his face resting between your tits as a playful hand squeezes your ass that is deliciously spilling out of your jean shorts. 

The alcohol has made you pliable, a cute ragdoll for him to play with. Skimpy top pulled roughly down to expose your pretty tits to him, he bites and sucks your nipples, taking whatever he wants from you as the hammock swings back and fort gently suspended in the air. The more he squishes your soft flesh, the more eager he gets. Fuck, it had been a while since his last conquest. 

The scoreboard in his locker mocks him once more. 

When he feels your hand unbuttoning his jeans and reaching for his now fully hard cock he cannot contain himself anymore — he needs to feel your clench around his cock now. 

Forgetting about the location and unusual bed replacement he’s using, he confidently (too confidently) pulls you onto his lap, only for the hammock to betray him and twist under the weight of both of you, gravity adding to this nightmare scenario as you both end up on the grass face first. 

You crawl out from the tangles mess, rubbing at your face where it had made contact with the grass and cover yourself up in the process, suddenly way too sober and aware of your actions.

Cock out and ass in the air as his neck strains to support his upper body, Denki is still tangled in the hammock, groaning in his futile attempt to stand upright and far away from the wretched hammock. 

A bright flash startles both of you followed by loud cheering and laughter. “I knew you were gonna try that, you fucking dweeb.” Touya laughs, snapping a few more pictures before Denki gets hismelf out from the compromising position, tucking his dick back into his jeans as quickly as he could. “Listen to me next time — don’t fuck on a god damn hammock.”

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑! I do not own any of the characters or people mentioned in my work. these are works of pure fiction that do not reflect the views, opinions, or actions of any person, real or fictional. Furthermore, all characters I write for [thirsts, drabbles, fics, etc.] are aged up to 21 or older – they are adults with adult characteristics presented and written in adult contexts.

all rights reserved © by maliciouslove. my work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. all fanfics belong to me, please do not copy, translate nor repost the fics or files seen above as this is strictly prohibited.

[solunstell]

Notes I've taken from Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen

On the cover, it looks liked dazai and chuuya are both balancing on strands of Rimbaud's hair??

In the third full color illustration, chuuya's eyes look brown

Chuuya's hair is described as reddish brown

Dazai saying that he was gonna join a quit the PM and join rival organization. The next paragraph points out that he isn't even a member of the PM lmao

Also, "do you have any idea how much you've put me through this past year?" Like what? I sooooo wanna know abt dazai age 14

Mori and dazai are "bound by a common destiny"

"Dazai showed flashes of brilliance one moment, but the next moment, they were gone. As soon as he seemed to have it all figured out, he'd confuse everyone by talking about his bizarre, meaningless fascination with suicide." Excellent characterization note

Mori can disarm a bomb

"'Why do you want to die?' / Dazai seemed puzzled as he looked back at Mori, like he genuinely didn't understand the question. Then, eyes full of youthful innocence, he responded: / 'Let me ask you something instead: Do you truly believe there's value in living?'

Dazai involving Hirotsu (who he just met) in his self convo by telling him not to use a painful method next time hirotsu plans on killing himself. Hirotsu saying he'll... keep that in mind.

Goodness I need more hirotsu and dazai moments

The fact that Chuuya's kick sends Dazai so far, despite the fact that Chuuya's gravity would disable upon impact, kinda proves my theory that Dazai's ability would not stop the momentum caused by Chuuya's ability in motion. This is later confirmed in another sentence

Chuuya calling dazai kid even though he's the same age

Chuuya and dazais first moment meeting having chuuya laughing :)

Dazai watches his hand being crushed quite easily, despite not liking pain. That's interesting. However, when kicked next, he does react

Hirotsu going 'back in my day I was just like you' lmao

Chuuya calls dazai: a twig, mummy boy, kid, bandages, slimeball

Dazai calls Chuuya: pip-squeak, a fairy, a schoolboy

Chuuya is described as having never lost a fight in his life while talking to Mori. That's interesting cuz he was just captured by the enemy

There's the love confession!

"'If only I'd been in the middle of that [explosion], I would've had a quick and painless death...' / 'Yeah, yeah. I'll beat you to a pulp as many times as you want later, so focus on the mission right now, okay?'"

Dazai acting like a blubbering scared child when caught by the enemy

Chuuya telling dazai to put on hard rock for a fight

Also seems like chuuya's ability no longer affects an object as soon as contact is cut.

"Even Dazai had forgotten to breathe as he watched the storm that was Chuuya decimate the battlefield."

When dazais talking to the dying man: "Dazai's expression was calm, but there was a faint twinkle deep within his eyes. The kind of twinkle a boy who wants to grow up to be a firefighter gets in his eyes when he sees his hero in the flesh."

Actually, the entire paragraph set of Dazai's break is really fascinating

Dazai brings wood for Randou's fire. Also, either he or Chuuya or both cover a draft hole for him.

Mori forbade them from violence to solve their problems, so of course the first fair thing to come to their heads is arcade games

They played close to a hundred matches. Fun date!

Dazai trying to give chuuya head pats

Chuuya is an excellent actor

At the party prep, dazai is playing playing modern pop music

According to chuuya, arahabaki doesn't have a mind or a personality

"The shield protested" dazai is the best shield lol

The boss saying he wishes he could chat abt old times with dazai. What old times? Dazai shouldn't have known him before his death? Unless he did

The mere thought of killing a child breaks rimbauds heart, with the child being dazai, but he's okay with killing chuuya? Rimbaud only sees chuuya as an ability to gain, it seems to me.

Skk calling each other by their first names for the first time (outside of around other people) when working together in a fight against rimbaud

"'Hmph...anything goes when you're a skill user from Europe, huh?'"

Dazai asking abt rimbauds final wishes

Q is put into dazais hands to figure out their ability. Q asks to play, and dazai says when q is older. I am now waiting for this playdate in canon

Also, dazai and mori both not knowing q's gender

Dazai is a cheater at games

The chuuya newsletters

Omg hiiiii verlaine

[edupunkn00b]

All Due Care and Caution

Photo by Taylor Fiehl on Unsplash

Virgil and Janus began their legal careers together, fighting on the side of justice.

Now they're on opposite sides of the court room.

WC: 2195 - Rated: G - CW: non-graphic mentions of a car crash, politics, divorce, swearing Written for @tsspromptmonth's Rare Gifts Event. ---

“Virgil Knight for the plaintiff, Your Honor, and—”

The gallery doors slammed open, jolting Virgil in his spot next to his client. “It’s alright, Thomas,” he whispered, ghosting a hand over the man’s uninjured shoulder. The sharp clack of heeled loafers was deafening in the otherwise hushed courtroom and he cast a quick glance back to see if the defendant’s attorney had finally deigned to show his face.

“Fuck,” he muttered, even quieter this time. The slimeball who’d plowed into his client with a four-ton Hummer was being defended by something even slimier.

“Your Honor, Janus Knight, defense,” he purred with a little bow of his head, the supposed show of deference somehow condescending. Only Jay could manage shit like that. “I wish to extend my apologies to the Court,” he continued in a saccharine sweet voice that made Virgil wish he could take a bleach bath. To think he’d ever let that man—

“This case was reassigned to me only moments ago when the previous attorney, well…” Janus made a broad gesture toward the reporters in the back row. “We all have Twitter, don’t we?”

Of course Jay worked for the same firm as Sadow.

“Is that good or bad?” Thomas whispered as the gallery buzzed with similarly murmured questions. It wasn’t every day an attorney was removed from civil court in handcuffs, but it had been the third time for that particular politician’s case. Even those who avoided the news had seen it.

Virgil shook his head, eyes locked on the judge. She seemed to be wondering the same. “And I suppose you are here to motion the court for a continuance in order to confer with your new client?”

“Oh, on the contrary.” With a sleight of hand better suited to a street magician, a sheaf of bluebacks appeared in Jay’s hand. “I am prepared to present my motion to dismiss the case for failure to state a claim—”

“Your Honor,” Virgil interrupted. “Perhaps the defendant does require some time to review the three-hundred and ninety-two exhibits establishing my client’s injuries and the video of the incident taken from four different vantage points.”

He felt more than saw Jay’s eyes finally turn to him, bright sparks of gold boring into his skull. 

“Counsel, approach the bench.” 

Jay glided forward and Virgil followed, quickly overtaking him with his longer and faster stride. He’d be damned if he was going to follow Jay anywhere.

~

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Janus was going to slaughter Sadow. Along with whoever else at the firm who thought it would be simply hilarious to foist this case onto him.

For the past year, it had been an open secret in the surprisingly close-knit community of civil attorneys that he and Vee had divorced—quite in-amicably. Each of the circuit’s judge’s clerks had gone out of their way to ensure their cases were never scheduled on the same day. And Janus’ firm had been careful not to assign him cases in which the Avenging Angel himself represented the plaintiff.

It seemed that courtesy had ended.

Flexing his fingers to hide their tremor, he managed to keep his voice steady and his eyes away from his ex-husband while he announced his motion to dismiss. It was unlikely to prevail on its merits, but if delivered with enough panache and confidence, he could sow the seeds of doubt in the judge’s—and the jury’s—minds.

To be honest, he hadn’t had time to review the evidence in this case, and he bit back an epithet at his firm’s attorney-in-charge.

“Your hubby’s losing his touch.” Chad hadn’t even looked up from his computer when Janus had protested the assignment. “Ex, whatever. The evidence is shabby. He’s turning into an ambulance chaser.” He barked out a laugh. “You must’ve really bled him dry in the divorce.”

In truth, he hadn’t contested Vee’s attorney’s opening offer and had let him keep everything but Janus’ clothes. The custom suits wouldn’t’ve fit his lanky frame anyway. And the suits were really all that mattered for Janus to keep up his appearance. No-one needed to know that, after alimony, he couldn’t afford much more than a shoebox studio downtown and, when he wasn't entertaining clients on the firm's expense account, survived on beans and rice most nights.

He smoothed down his silk waistcoat and inhaled slowly before approaching the judge. Vee moved more quickly than he did, always faster, always in a hurry. He would only slow down under Janus’ lead, with gentle reminders to rest, to care for himself at least as much as he cared for his clients. To recharge. To sleep. The case would be there in the morning.

The soft days of Vee following his lead, though, were long gone. Glancing back at the defendant’s table where his client sat twirling the keys to her near-murderous Hummer, Janus really couldn’t blame him.

~

“Your honor—” Virgil began, but the judge raised a hand to cut him off, then shoved aside Jay’s proffered motions. Her clerk silently collected the stack and began to peruse them.

“No, you will both listen first. Mr. Knight,” she turned to Jay. “Your client pled guilty to reckless endangerment and failure to operate a vehicle with all due care and caution. Are you disputing those findings?”

“Of course not, Your Honor.” The judge might have missed the tic in Jay’s jaw, but Virgil didn’t. He really got hosed with this case, didn’t he?

“Then why are you wasting the Court’s time with a motion to dismiss? Have you actually reviewed the evidence?”

“No, Your Honor,” he admitted, voice steady and chin held high. To the outside world, Jay looked just as confident as ever. But his right foot pointed toe-in and his thumb rubbed the inside of his ring finger. “With the Court’s permission, I would like to retract the motion.”

“Granted. Mr. Knight,” she said before turning to Virgil. “You were saying?”

“Not confusing at all,” Jay muttered just under his breath. “You really had to keep my name?”

“We both chose Knight," Virgil snapped, turning to face him. Was Jay… smiling? With effort, Virgil returned his full attention to the judge. “My client is ready to proceed, Your Honor.”

“Very well,” she nodded. “Let’s begin.”

“Thank you, your Honor.” Virgil returned to his client’s side, steadfastly avoiding Jay’s gaze. He would not allow his ex to pull those pouty little faces and distract him. He hadn't forced Jay to turn his back on everything they'd studied and struggled and fought for. If Jay had to now lie in the bed he’d made with that evil little defense firm, then so be it.

Yes, so be it, he nodded to himself even as his heart clenched at the flash of yellow in Jay’s palm. If he’d brought out a fidget in court, he was only a few steps from a full-on panic attack.

Jay’s first case had ended in a mistrial with prejudice. He’d fled the courtroom, leaving Virgil to explain to his sobbing client that her attacker would walk free. After searching each floor, Virgil had finally found him in a broken bathroom stall, hyperventilating and clawing at his own hair. It hadn't been the first time he’d seen his outwardly suave new husband break down.

But it had been the last.

“I can’t fail another client like that, Vee,” he’d whispered after Virgil had helped him through one of his own breathing exercises. “The stakes are just too high.”

He’d begun job searching shortly after his next case, jumping from office to office before finally joining his uncle’s boutique defense firm. They'd started small, but eventually made name when they began to pick up famous clients, nepo kid DUIs, movie stars fighting murder charges. Politicians accused of bribery—or far worse.

Neither had known it at the time, but it was the beginning of the death of their relationship. Even when they didn’t find themselves on opposing sides of the courtroom, neither Virgil nor Jay was good at compartmentalizing their work. Wars over briefs soon turned their bedroom into a battlefield.

The writing was on the wall. An assistant district attorney who worked pro bono on civil claims and a flashy—and pricey—private defense attorney were doomed. This was their first case together—together as combatants—since the divorce. If it meant finally being free from lingering worry for his ex, Virgil would happily drive the final nail into that coffin.

Shaking away the butter-smooth laughter in his head about mixed metaphors, he swallowed back the nervousness thrumming against his ribs. Finding that calm that now only came in court, Virgil addressed the jury. “Ladies and gentlemen, today you will see and hear how Ms. Karen Dars ignored a flashing pedestrian signal then roared through that crosswalk, striking my client, Thomas Sanders. He suffered three fractures to his…

~

Vee’s opening statement was… flawless. It never failed. Vee would clam up and refuse to send back a meal, would mutely let a stranger steal his place in line. He was too anxious to call the doctor’s office and reschedule an appointment. But in court?

In court, Vee bloomed. He stood tall and proud and certain, the weight of his client’s future bolstering him against any attack. It was the first thing Janus had noticed all the way back in law school. It was the first thing that had made him fall in love.

And in the privacy of his own mind, Janus could admit at least to himself that he’d never really stopped.

His heart pounded in his chest, a syncopated, thudding staccato that threatened to drown out his client’s hissed whisper. He wished it had. “Why don’t you say something? He’s making me sound like some kind of villain!”

The judge shot her a warning glare but his client continued. “What am I paying you for? Am I supposed to just sit here and listen while he says all those awful things about me?” Big, crocodile tears welled in her eyes and Janus barely fought the impulse to roll his eyes.

“Yes, Ms. Dars,” he whispered close to her ear. “That’s exactly what we do during his opening statement.”

With a petulant huff, she sat back in her seat, arms crossed as Vee finished his argument. She remained nearly silent during his own opening statement. It wasn’t until the first paramedic took the stand that she raised her voice.

“How dare you!” she shouted from the defense table.

“Mr. Knight, control your client!”

Janus stood and pressed one hand firmly on her shoulder. “Ms. Dars, a contempt court charge will not—”

But she wouldn't stop. Pointing at the paramedic, she demanded, “Why do you think I gave you a tip? For good driving?”

Vee had prepared the witness well. The paramedic clamped his mouth shut and turned to Vee, waiting to be asked.

And Vee did not disappoint.

“Mr. Selnick, did the defendant attempt to bribe you while you were rendering aid to my client?”

Ms. Dars' voice rang out, interrupting any response he might have given. “Yeah, and the dumb fuck wouldn’t even take it!”

~

The courtroom exploded in a flurry of shouts and laughter. The tumult was short-lived, snuffed nearly as quickly as it’d begun by the judge’s gavel and Ms. Dars' first swearing at, then biting the bailiff as he ratcheted on her handcuffs. He took his time and summoned another bailiff to chain her waist and ankles.

“Oh, and you’re so fired!” she snarled at Janus through clenched teeth.

“You cannot fire me, Ms. Dars,” he replied, setting down his phone, a prickly squish fidget hidden in his other hand. “I just quit the firm.”

“Is that true?” Vee asked, nearer than Janus had expected him to be.

He looked up, anticipating a sneer but instead, Vee looked… worried? Janus swallowed and nodded once before packing in the files spread across the defendant’s table. “Yes,” he muttered, bracing himself. Vee could be vindictive and a bit of a bitch.

It was another thing he’d always appreciated. Until it had been turned toward him.

But Vee remained quiet, feet shuffling next to him. Janus kept his gaze low. He didn’t want to watch his former husband walk away from him one more time. His breath caught in his throat when, instead of leaving, Vee hugged him.

“I’m proud of you, Jay,” he whispered. The hug was over quickly, the heat from his always-warm hands evaporating into the climate-controlled air. “I—”

Janus looked up again and there were tears in Vee’s eyes. “Why don’t you…" He smiled. "Why don't you swing by the house tonight? We can talk about job openings down at the DA’s office.” When Janus remained silent, Vee scoffed and started to turn back, shaking his head. “Whatever, Janus, if you’d rather—”

“No!” He stood and grabbed his sleeve. The courtroom, the whole world narrowed down to the bright flash of hope in Vee’s eyes. “I mean, yes… Yes, I’d like that. I’ll be there at seven.”

Vee’s lips curled up into a crooked little smile. “Be there at five thirty and you can cook.”

[laconic-void]

Sandlot Fic: Part Four

Note: "Tigers" is the name of Phillips' little league team

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Benny POV

Timeskip: one week later

All of the guys have been working hard training for today's game against the Tigers. I'm not too worried about Scotty, but it can't hurt to get him up nice and early just to make sure.

7 in the morning and I'm all dressed. I knock on Scotty's window and he slowly wakes up. He still wears his silly cartoon pajamas to sleep.

"Smalls, are you ready for the big day?"

"Benny, the game's at noon." Scotty sat back on his bed.

"Yeah, but you haven't played in a week. Come on, we can't waste any time!"

"Okay, I'll get up," Scotty mumbled.

...

"See Smalls, Yeah-Yeah is ready! He's been coming here extra early for the whole week!"

"Yeah-Yeah, ready for the game!"

"You look more ready to sleep. When did you get up?"

"Five."

"Okay, an extra hour today wouldn't have killed you. Save it for tomorrow when school starts." I rolled my eyes. I think there is more going on than Yeah-Yeah is letting on, but we'll have to talk later. I just watched as he put several pieces of bazooka in his mouth. The others arrive a few minutes later, in similar tired fashion.

"Hey Smalls, welcome back!" Kenny said. "How'd it go with your old man?"

"Not too bad," Scotty replied. "I had to do extra chores, but it was rewarding to see my hard work."

"That's the nerdiest thing I've ever heard. Maybe you can come to my house." Bertram joked, slapping him on the back. "My mom might give you a few quarters."

"Not a bad offer, but let's talk later. What are we waiting for? Let's play some ball!" Now that's the kind of stuff I like to hear from Scotty.

...

Time passed pretty quickly, and soon enough, we found ourselves at the Tigers' stadium. It is nice, I have to admit. They've got a whole scoreboard and everything. Makes me feel like I'm in the majors.

I looked over the opposing team. I don't talk to these kids, but I do know most of their names. There's Phillips, of course, and William Peffercorn, the lifeguard's younger brother. He only wants to torment us more after the pool incident. Now that I think about it, that's probably why we're here. I don't really mind being banned from the pool because I never really wanted to go anyway, but it's kind of stupid that we all got banned over some girl, especially since Squints was the only one who did anything. She's attractive, yeah, but drowning yourself just to kiss her? These guys are something else, man.

I'm up to bat first, and it's nobody's surprise when I hit a home run. Kenny follows suit, then Ham. The rest of the guys bat with no issues. The first inning is complete and we're up by three points. The Tigers have improved, though. I try to compliment them, but they aren't really fond of good sportsmanship. Ham can take it from here.

"I don't know how you got so ugly," Ham started harassing the batters immediately. "Must have been from your dad, because your mom is pretty sexy." I rolled my eyes as the others stifled a laugh. It's effective, though, because the next three batters strike out. I guess they hadn't worried about focus as much as they should've.

Scotty's up to bat next, and I can't help but look at him, admiring how much his stance has improved. CRACK! That's a home run for sure. He rounds first base. Then second. Then thi-

Scotty falls to the ground. I look at third base again. William Peffercorn. That slimeball hit Scotty. I run over immediately and push him aside. "Scotty! Are you okay?" I look at his face, and his eye is starting to bruise, resembling when I first spoke to him.

"YOU PIECE OF CRAP!" Ham tried to run over to fight, but Bertram, Kenny, and Squints held him back.

"Yeah," I said, trying to hide my anger. "Game's over."

"What? Benny, it's okay," Scotty protested.

"No it's not. Come on guys. We're leaving."

"Ha! You guys forfeit after all!" Phillips taunted.

"Benny, I'm fi-"

I cut Scotty off. "You're not fine. You're hurt. And call it whatever you want, Phillips. But deep down you know you lost, and you played dirty. We won't be coming back here." I was expecting the others to be disappointed about leaving early, but they were staring at the Tigers and shaking their heads. Those guys screwed up bad, and they're gonna know it.

...

We got Scotty some ice for his eye, and I was hoping he would feel better, but he understandably just wanted to go home.

"You'll be okay tomorrow, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course. Missing the first day of school would be stupid."

"Alright. Just take it easy, okay? And if you need to reach me, the walkie talkie is in my back pocket."

"Okay." Scotty lightened up and grinned at me. "See you at the bus stop tomorrow, Benny."

I watched as he walked towards his house. Before he rounded the corner, he turned around and gave me a thumbs up, and I returned it, like we always do.

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Hello all three people in the sandlot fandom! Just a disclaimer that while I am planning to add Benny and Smalls romance to the story, my main goal is to flesh out the characters more as much as I can, so it will take a while. This story will (hopefully, as long as I have the motivation to write) follow the boys to graduation, after all.

Also this chapter was inspired by the events of the second movie as well as a fanfic I saw. Thanks for reading!!

@fairiiboy444

[glissandolight]

@passingthroughthenorthstar 's Mansion...

〈 • The moment Dalv got home he crawled under your arms and grumbled and mumbled about something that happened during his walk during the moonlight. You weren't really paying attention, mainly focused on waiting for your turn to speak so you can surprise him with tickets for the upcoming stage-event going on during the carnival! -And it worked like a complete charm, his eyes completely lit up like a little kid just seeing them in your hand! From what you know, the event is about a swordsfighting doing.. swordsfighter stuff, heck if you know, all you really care about that it's fancy and Dalv understands fancier things more than he, the COWBOY, ever will. The perfect surprise for his Moonpie! 〉 ❝ ..An outing right now sounds wonderful.. Whatever distracts me from wanting to electropunch that.. s-S-SLIMEBALLS face inside out..! Oough, when I get my hands on- ❞ 〈 • Wait.. where are your keys? GOD DARNIT. You wanted to fancily drive him there on your moter-cycle, but it's being repaired after a certain chipmunk used it for a stunt video. You could maybe call an uber.. but your phone was snatched after a certain chipmunk used it to RECORD a stunt video. You could walk there but.. cmon now who really wants to walk that far? Well, the bus is always available. You pick up your little vampire like a cardboard cutout and headed your way down to the bus-stop.〉 ❝ ..And then he had the AUDACITY to ask if I bit myself I would be immortal.. like I didn't just spent 5 minutes explaining BEFOREHAND how UTTERLY REDICULOUS that theory was..! But he asked anyway becAUSE- ❞

〈 • You had the apologize to the others also on the bus stop for Dalv's rant, because right now he didn't seem like stopping anytime soon. ..Heaven HOPES he doesn't get on Dalv's nerves one day to the point where he is now.. Well anyway, after some time the bus finally arrives and you gently guided the Vampire inside and you held onto the handle above you with your other hand holding his. ..Man.. he hasn't rode a bus like this since before he and the posse got hit big on the surface. He didn't need to now that he had fame, wealth, money- wait that's also wealth. ..Anyway, it was a bit of a nostalgia trip. You bend down your head a little to look at the window to see all the city lights reflecting off the glass. If you still had your phone, and maybe a third hand to use right about now, you'd probably be taking pictures. 〉 ❝ .. So then he swayed his cape in my FACE and then walked away! Just like that! But don't even get me started on HOW he walked, i saw him trip on his own heel- Oh hey, Starbutton we're here!❞ 〈 • ..Wait, what did he say before all of that? He's not speaking up so the entire first half of his story was completely drowned out by the surrounding noise and by that I mean the kid crunching his potato chips next to your ear and the loud lady on the phone call around them.. well either way they we're here. You made an 'after you' gesture, holding Dalv's parasol for him as he stepped down the bus stairs and onto the floor, grinning at hearing him giggle in response. 〉 ❝ We have.. a lot of time until the performance actually starts. Whatever the performance is.. Don't worry, I won't bug you about it. I know it's a surprise and you want it to be very very special. ❞

〈 • He gently boops where your nose would be, before you swiftly kiss him on the forehead and pick him up on your shoulders.. but soon after he seems to be pointing at something a few feet away..! A shooter game! Wow, Dalv you have GREAT taste- Oh he's pointing at the prize. Well- At least it's something you're good with. You swiftly put him down and do a couple stretches as you pick up one of the fake guns, you're ready to absolutely DESTROY the rest of the competition... which are mainly kids. 〉

❝ .. Don't forget to have fun! ❞ 〈 • Oh. That too. Duh. You grin, practically getting every bullseye as you SKYROCKET to the top leaderboards as the timer is ticking down, perfectly in your western element. This really was NOT a competition even until the moment the timer ended. 〉

〈 • .........SECOND PLACE? BUT- You turn your head, and some fancy monster with far too curly hair for your taste smugly takes first place and gets your Moonpie's prize, SHOOTING you a cocky grin before walking away. Did nobody see the LOOK he just gave!?- This HAD to be rigged. 〉 ❝ ..Oouff.. Unlucky, I suppose. You we're so close too..! Do you want to get some funnel cake and try again some other time..? ❞

[zeninsama-moved]

not reader insert, not a ship, but a secret third thing. just your average day in the grimetown old folks home. inspired by the @bastardblvd slimeball superlatives lmaooooo and content warnings for jiraiya and kakashi being perverts lmao & some suggestive material

It pops up on the screen of Jiraiya's computer – the most enticing words he's ever read in his life.

DOZENS OF LOCAL BABES IN YOUR AREA – AND THEY WANT TO FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Me?" Jiraiya hums, both curious and delighted. He pulls his glasses up and squints, adjusting his eyes to the screen, wanting to see these so-called internet babes. "Let's have a look then, shall we?"

She's a green-eyed beauty with dark hair that's a little on the shorter side. The profile picture is simple but effective, staring at the camera with a seductive gaze, flashing just a tease of bare shoulder. Her skin is flawless, almost airbrushed. The makeup is a bit on the heavy side but Jiraiya can overlook it.

"Well, FreeLoadsFushi... let's see what you have to offer."

It's at this moment that his caretaker, Kakashi, arrives with Jiraiya's usual medication.

"Jiraiya-san, I have your–"

Even Kakashi is captivated by this woman, now slowly undressing in the small window on the screen. Loose white pants are sensually pulled down, revealing thick and muscular thighs – surprising, but welcomed nonetheless. Kakashi sets the paper cup onto the desk. Jiraiya downs the pills dry, then chases it with the water, unable to look away from this hypnotizing woman. The silver-haired nurse leans closer, bracing his arm on the back of his senior's wheelchair. "What are you watching, Jiraiya-san?"

"It's my lucky day, Kakashi-san," Jiraiya laughs, giddy. "I've been reached out to by the internet. Apparently there are dozens of hot babes in Grimetown – and they want me! Can you believe it? Maybe I could set you up with one."

Both men makes a pleased sound when the woman turns around, exposing the fattest ass either of them has ever seen. It even swallows up the scrappy lace panties she's wearing. Her hands grab at the fat and squeeze, letting it spill through her fingers, and it jiggles when released.

That may the thickest, most voluptuous ass Jiraiya has ever seen in his life. Her hands are... considerably large, but that's okay. He's never shied away from a woman with some meat on her bones.

There's another profile in the corner of the screen, HotMcDManager24. This girl is more slender, barely filling out her polo shirt, with beautiful blue eyes and dark hair pulled into a ponytail under her McDonald's visor.

How naughty, Jiraiya thinks. Taking pictures of yourself at work. I'll come back for you.

The old man sits back in his wheelchair and entertains the thought. Laying back in his reclined bed, beautiful women on either side of him, kissing and caressing his body, but his fantasies are disrupted when another pop-up add blocks the video.

UNLOCK THIS BABE'S CONTACT INFO FOR FOUR EASY PAYMENTS OF ¥3500

It's a no-brainer, right?

[gemwing1988]

The Cuphead Show: Dreamstones Edition — King Dice TV Tropes

A/N: Warning, this fanmade TV Tropes will contain some spoilers for a future fanfic. Please read with care and enjoy.

Former host of the rigged radio game show, “Roll the Dice” and the self-claimed number one to the Devil, King Dice is a sleazy individual who is eager to please Old Scratch and has his eyes on Lexie.

Abhorrent Admirer: Much like his counterpart from the book, he has a Villainous Crush on Lexie. Although he isn’t ugly since he’s considered handsome by some of her former fans, he is still an unwanted suitor who won’t leave Lexie alone.

Ascended Extra: In the fanfic adaptation, he gets a couple of decent amount of screen (page time, in this case) in several fanmade episodes/chapters.

Baddie Flattery:

Berserk Button:

Break the Haughty:

Changed My Mind, Kid:

Co-Dragons: With Henchman and Anubis.

Crouching Moron, Hidden Hardcore:

Didn’t See That Coming:

Didn’t Think This Through:

In Roll the Dice, he thought it was a good idea to immediately call the Devil on the phone and inform him he has Cuphead, Katie and Natty on his show while he holds Lexie hostage, assuming delivering Cuphead’s soul, Natty’s wand and Katie to the Devil would be an easy win. And how did all of that work out at the end?

Dirty Coward:

Dude in Distress: In the summer special, “The Isle of Serverus”, he gets captured, held prisoner and almost used as a sacrifice alongside Natty, Liam, Cuphead, Captain Brineybeard and his parrot by the Big Bad/Villain of the Week after he stowed away on Brineybeard’s ship in an attempt to get Lexie.

Even Evil Has Standards:

Face Palm:

Fatal Flaw:

Hypocrite:

I Can Explain: He frantically says this word for trope as he begged the Devil to hear him out in fear when the Devil revealed that Henchman informed him about Dice’s failure to get Cuphead’s soul and capture Katie in the radio.

Idiot Ball:

I Have You Now, My Pretty:

I Lied:

Karmic Butt-Monkey:

Laser-Guided Karma:

Manipulative Monster: In the adaptation of the Release the Demons! episode, he suavely manipulates the scorpion demons to take out the spider demon. Then, when he claimed about hoping the scorpion demons would turn on him, they did just that. Unfortunately for them, Dice had actually hoped they would as he casually side stepped away from their stingers, causing the two of them to accidentally blow each other. Adaptational Wimp or not, King Dice is still as sleazy as he comes.

Narcissist: It’s no secret that King Dice is in love with himself to the point of actually flirting with his reflection, which often practically has a life of its own to flirt with him back.

Dice: Who’s the host with the most, hmmm?

His reflection: You are, ya handsome devil. Mwha!~

Dice: Ohh, you’re terrible.~

Never My Fault:

Oh, Crud!:

The Rival: He always butts heads with Liam over Lexie.

Sadistic Game Show:

Screams Like a Little Girl: He pulled this at least two times in Roll the Dice and Release the Demons!. But the authoresses agreed to make him prone to squeal like a girl every chance they get in future fanmade chapters.

Skewered Priorities:

Slimeball: This is King Dice we’re talking about here.

Smug Snake:

Stalker with a Crush:

Surrounded by Idiots: He often feels this way towards his hired minions, Jack and Ace (@akluthor1998’s OC’s) whenever they mess stuff up or they fail.

This is Gonna Suck:

After the Dreamstones reveal that his game show is rigged and exposed him as the Devil’s stooge in the adaptation, we see the canon scene of Henchman arriving to inform him the Devil wants an audience with Dice. His reaction is just sigh and had a comically nervous look on his face on the way down in the elevator.

Mixed with an Oh, Crud! reaction, when Dice nervously asked about his “number one” has to go with the third “finest” demons to go after Cuphead and the gang all the while meekly pointing at himself.

Villainous Crush: Poor Lexie. Just when she got away from the King Dice in the book…

Villainous Breakdown:

Villain Song:

Villain with Good Publicity:

What’s He Got That I Ain’t Got?: He pretty much voiced this trope out when he had a self conversation when he had been spying on Lexie and Liam on one of their dates.

Would Hurt a Child:

You Have Failed Me:

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!:

You Meddling Kids!:

[bastardblvd]

SLIMEUTATIONS I’m the CEO of big brudder surveillance co... we have a 99.99% success rate for catching even the SNEAKIEST of slimeballs!!!!

Here at Big Brudder Surveillance we specialize in monitoring the behavior of naughty older brothers, and offer many diverse products such as stuffed bunny cameras, panty drawer alarms, and an extensive line of makeup themed weaponry that's received a lot of really great buzz in the slimeosphere. (NOTE: Big Brudder Co takes no responsibility for how its customers elect to use our products!!!)

Personally, my day as CEO consists of sending my intern to slimebucks six different times, spending my huge paychecks (did u know this place has a MASSIVE crime rate?? who would have known!!!!) and blasting metal in my vw bus rigged with a view of every camera in the city. U wouldn’t believe how cute everyone’s brothers are!!!!!!!!!!! ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

**according to a study conducted by a Totally Legit ™ government official who may or may not be merc in a trenchcoat (💸 alsoooo i have soo much moneeeeey and sooooo many cameras LMAO)

it's the middle of the night. you're cooped up in your vw bus like a little gremlin, watching this incredibly handsome man enter his closet and he's just about to take off his shirt when... BUN! IT LOOKS LIKE ONE OF YOUR SECRET CAMERAS GOT BUSTED BY... OH FUCK, SLIMEBALL!GOJO SATORU? he notices the out-of-place stuffed bunny sitting on a shelf and laughs, maybe picks it up and speaks directly to the camera hidden in the eye, asks if you're having fun with your little game... well, showtime's over, babe. not unless you're paying.

so you make it your personal mission to continuously sneak into his apartment, try and leave an even more hidden camera in an even more inconspicuous spot, but you can't get anything past this guy! although, after spotting the third one, he can't help but admire your persistence... maybe he'll put on a little show just this once.

[schwazombie]

I'll grab a slice of the latest chapter I'm working on in a minute (I'm caught up on the prompts I want to do until the 20-somethingth :D ) but I need to scream at you about this because I CACKLED

First of all I fn love Killer already asking a question and not waiting for the answer. He's really just like hold on 'bout to fuck your shit up <3

Law snapped his eyes back open and nearly crushed his phone as his hand clenched in a useless attempt to smother the speaker.

Ahead of him in the aisle, hands in his pockets, Cora stopped. His leg held out in front of him as he froze mid-stride.

Oh. My. GODS kjöladfsjökladfskjölafsdökjladfskjö I fucking saw this in my head and laughed like an utter loon. Law is cringing so hard and Cora just turning like ohh?????? I can fucking see it. I can SEE it XD XD XD

After a beat, as if he'd been waiting for what he'd heard to start making a little more sense, Cora slowly turned on his heel. His other leg still stuck out in front of him and the hem of his heart-covered button-up twirling with him.

He stared wide-eyed at Law. The embodiment of flabbergasted. His raised boot absently clicking down on the supermarkets’ bland tiling like an accompanying exclamation point.

I can't I can't I caaaaaaaan't oh my goooooooods this is TOO FUNNY Cora turning around wiht his leg in the air like he's in the Ministry of Silly Walks I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T I was absolutely dying laughing I fucking love it omggggggg

“Miss me, did ya, sweetheart?”

*chanting* DIRT BAG DIRT BAG DIRT BAG DIRT BAG!!! I love it! Slimy sleezy Eustass Kid we love to see it!!!! I hate him (love love love) hate him he's such a dirt bag such an absolute slimeball kjladfsökjladfsökjadfsjök

There was a pause so pregnant it had reached its third trimester. Then Eustass chuckled. It had a grotesque amount of facetious glee in it.

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You done messed up Law ölkjafsökjlafdskjöladfsköadfs

"Behave," he said through clenched teeth. "Or I'll—"

"You'll what? Don't go making promises you can't keep, princess."

YEEESSSSSSSSSSS Kid calling Law 'princess' agenda!!!!!!!!! Fucking godsssssssss 'don't go making promises you can't keep' oh Kid. Oh darling. Oh sweety. Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah! Delicious beautiful show-stopping spectacular

His eyes bulging, Cora took several steps back in bewilderment and tripped over one of the restocking boxes stacked in the aisle. ... Cora toppled back over the box trying to get up and landed on his back with his legs sticking straight up.

Comic relief Cora-san I am HOWLING I love him so much I love how you write him I love how I can see all of this in my head and I love how this is a perfectly in-character reaction for him like yeah, Cora would trip and fall over stuff in the aisle. I love how all this is going on in the background and Law is just... not even fazed by it. It's so normal. It's so Cora. I can't stop laughing Husbeast is about to ask me if I'm okay i'm sure of it

“Don't tell me what to do!”

That's our Law!!!!! :D :D :D

Cora looked from Law to the phone and then accepted it when Law clicked his tongue on his teeth in irration and offered it down to him.

AND HE DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO HELP HIM UP I'm crying laughing omgggggggggg this is hysterical I love it fuck sake I can't breathe kjlafökjlfökjls

I am so glad I got to read this this evening oh my gods

✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨

rules: post 7 sentences/a snippet of an unfinished work

@theotherwhybietoldmeso & @killerandhealerqueen

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Forgive me. I was fighting demons (imposter syndrome, crippling self doubt, fatigue, and a wild pack of mental illnesses). (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠) But! I'm finally back after like three ass weeks. <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> So, here! A v unserious snippy from my we have to stay silly modern kidlaw au (yeah, shocker, it's them bastards again) that I've been doing sometimes on the side just for shits n giggles. 〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜

The call connected and Killer's accent crackled out of the speaker. “Law? What's up?”

“Nothing urgent. I just need to know if Eustass h—”

“Yeah, his phone’s dead again. He's in the shed. You want him?”

“What?”

“Hang on. I'll get him.”

Law pinched the bridge of his nose. Squeezed his eyes shut till he saw pinpricks. “No, I just need to know if—”

"Oi, Kid! Your boyfriend wants to speak ta ya!"

Law snapped his eyes back open and nearly crushed his phone as his hand clenched in a useless attempt to smother the speaker.

Ahead of him in the aisle, hands in his pockets, Cora stopped. His leg held out in front of him as he froze mid-stride.

Dammit.

After a beat, as if he'd been waiting for what he'd heard to start making a little more sense, Cora slowly turned on his heel. His other leg still stuck out in front of him and the hem of his heart-covered button-up twirling with him.

He stared wide-eyed at Law. The embodiment of flabbergasted. His raised boot absently clicking down on the supermarkets’ bland tiling like an accompanying exclamation point.

Dammit!

"He's not my damn boyfriend!" Eustass yelled, taking the words out of Law's mouth.

The heavy rock blasting from the shed’s stereo lowered enough in volume to not blow out Law's phone speaker and Eustass' voice dropped several octaves as he brought Killer's phone up to his ear.

“Miss me, did ya, sweetheart?”

His eyes bulging, Cora took several steps back in bewilderment and tripped over one of the restocking boxes stacked in the aisle.

"Shut up, Eustass!" Law snapped. His face igniting alongside his fury. "You're on speaker!"

There was a pause so pregnant it had reached its third trimester. Then Eustass chuckled. It had a grotesque amount of facetious glee in it.

"Am I now?"

So. That had been a mistake. But Law could only double down now.

"Behave," he said through clenched teeth. "Or I'll—"

"You'll what? Don't go making promises you can't keep, princess."

Cora toppled back over the box trying to get up and landed on his back with his legs sticking straight up.

"I'm going to—!" Catching Cora's eye from down on the floor, Law sighed. "Doesn't matter. I'll deal with you later. Cora-san wants to know if you have any dietary restrictions.”

He scrunched down into his jacket. Tense. Gritting his teeth. Law still wasn't sure how Cora had talked him into letting him come over and cook dinner. But if it had been a bad idea before, it was a horrendous one now.

Eustass Kid was an arsehole. Always had been. Always would be. Always was. There wasn't a chance in hell he could be trusted not to—

"Hold up. Cora's there?"

"Yesss," Law hissed, ready to brain him.

“Put him on then.”

“Don't tell me what to do!”

Cora looked from Law to the phone and then accepted it when Law clicked his tongue on his teeth in irration and offered it down to him.

Tagging @schwazombie (no pressure. You keep working on those kidlawgust prompts if you're still on a roll 😊) and anyone else that wants to give it a whirl ✨✨

[teacraft]

how do you make cursed images,, 😔✊

open your third eye

[abbatoirablaze]

Maid For You

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: no real warnings…Ransom is lighter than he normally is, so this is kind of fluffy for his character.

“And that’s Ransom,” Marta pointed out to you. You looked at your cousin softly as Mr. Thrombey’s grandson strolled into the mansion without a care in the world, going straight into his office, “he’s kind of a dick. And he’ll insist that you call him Hugh.”

“Hugh…got it…”

“Anya, come here sweet girl.”

Your eyes went wide as Linda called for you. Marta nudged you forward, and you strolled by, offering her a kind smile, “how may I assist you, Mrs. Drysdale.

“Always so polite,” she smiled, pinching your cheek, “do me a favor and go to my room. Grab the present on the bed for my father. Will you?”

“Of course, Mrs. Drysdale,” you smiled, “would you like me to bring it to you, or put it under the tree in the main hall?”

“The tree is fine dear,” she smiled, already brushing you away, “I just forgot to bring it out.”

As you walked away, you noticed Walt sneering at you, while Jacob tilted his head sideways, as if that’d get him a better look underneath the skirt of your classic maid outfit. As you passed back into the main hall you noticed Marta and Meg being hounded by Ransom.

As you went up the staircase, however you noticed Ransom stopped getting on Meg about being ‘some hippy stoner at the liberal arts college,’ and his attention turned towards you, “HEY. New girl!”

“She’s not new, Ransom,” Meg growled, “that’s Marta’s cousin, and she’s been here for almost two months. You’d know that if you came over more than once every six months to get money from grandpa.”

“Did you need my assistance, Mr. Drysdale?”

He smiled as he began coming up the stairs. He stopped at the third step so that he was eye level with you. You forced yourself to maintain eye contact with his oceanic eyes, “Mr. Drysdale, huh? Why not Hugh? The rest of the staff calls me that!”

“You didn’t give me permission, sir,” you reply quickly, eyes still not leaving his. You took a step down so that he was now looking slightly down at you and you could see the glint in them as he became more curious about you, “did you need me for something? Your mother asked me to go to her room and retrieve the gift for your grandfather.”

“Leave her alone Ransom.”

“Shut up, Meg,” he said calmly, not bothering to spare her a glance. His hand went up to your cheek, his surprisingly soft fingers following the line of your jaw, then smearing the cherry lip you’d painted on this morning. He leaned forward slightly, “you know, the cheap shit smears like crazy…be a shame if you were meeting someone special and that happened.”

“Guess it’s a good thing that I’m not meeting anyone tonight then.” you reply softly, turning on your heel and walking back up the stairs. As you did, you could hear Meg and Marta laughing at him, going on about how he just got told he wasn’t worth your time, and that he was a slimeball. Secretly, while one part of you was proud for telling the spoiled rich boy off, the other was very much upset by it.

He was so gorgeous, and you weren’t positive, but it almost felt like he was flirting with you. And yet, you took hold of Marta’s warnings to just brush him off. Because he wasn’t worth it.

But why did it feel like he was?

Two days later he’d shown back up at the house for the annual Christmas eve dinner and then the party later. His attention was focused entirely on you, or so it felt like it. Meg and Marta were off on their normal activities, Marta being treated like the black sheep of the family by Walt, Richard, Joni, and Linda. Marta was seated next to Meg, and beside Harlan, who sat at the head of the table. Ransom was on the other side of him, and every chance he got it seemed like he was asking for you.

‘Anya, can you grab me new silverware? I don’t think Fran polished these correctly.’

‘Anya can you grab grandpa a new napkin? It fell on the floor!’ (he’d accidentally pushed it on the floor)

‘Anya, can you grab me another bottle of the red we were having? Lyle is far too slow on his feet and isn’t even keeping up with Joni’s drinks.’

That one earned Joni calling him a bastard, a glare from Lyle, and Harlan apologizing, asking if I would mind helping Lyle out.

To which every response gathered a curt, “of course sir.”

So Lyle stood at one end of the table, waiting on Walt and Joni’s family, while you watched after the Drysdales, Harlan,and Marta. You copied his actions, standing at the corner of the table. When someone needed a refill, you were quick to it, and Ransom was finding ways to get everyone to drink more wine.

That’s when you noticed the small touches to the back of your thigh when you came to fill the glasses. His soft, warm hand started just below the back of your knee, his hand well-hidden beneath the line of the table. But by the fourth time, no one seemed to care when his hand rode high on the back of your thigh.

Even Marta turned a blind eye.

But you continued on, holding firm to staying professional, even if the handsy young Drysdale clearly couldn’t see that line. It was better than Jacob glancing at you the way that he had been the whole week that Walt and his family had stayed at the Thrombey manor.

That was another thing you noticed.

After that day you’d first met Ransom, Jacob refused to look at you. It made you happy to have one less set of eyes critiquing everything you did.

But you couldn’t help but feel that was Ransom’s doing.

“Anya, dear…can you go to the wine cellar and get the bottle of 84’ Glenfarclas single malt scotch and a bottle of the Grace Family Cabernet. I think that’d be a great thing to toast with. Daddy, do you still have that?”

“84,” Harlan chuckled, “are you feeling nostalgic about something, Linda?”

“That was the year Ransom was born,” she smiled thoughtfully, touching her son’s shoulder, “and it was such a good year for the company…I just figured-��

“You just what, Lin,” Walt grumbled, cutting his sister off, “you trying to point dad in Ransom’s direction for some bullshit test of faith again?”

“Walt!” Harlan growled from the other end of the table. The two Thrombey men’s eyes met, and Walt looked away from his father. He turned to you, and his hand touched your wrist, “please be kind enough to grab the scotch and wine from the cellar, sweet girl?”

“Of course, Mr. Thrombey,” you smiled gently. He returned it, and you were quick to head through the doors, and down the steps to the wine cellar. A few moments later, you heard a set of footsteps coming down. You were shocked to see Ransom, “M-Mister Drysdale…what are you doing down here?”

“Figured I’d help you out,” he shrugged, heading down to one of the corners of the room. You followed him, and he walked right over to a section of reds, pulling a bottle out and putting it on the island, “your red.”

“Thank you, Mr. Drysdale.”

“Call me Ransom,” he offered, pulling a small box out of his pocket, putting it beside the bottle of red, “That’s for you, new girl.”

“Mr. Drysdal-“ But you stopped when his brow raised. You began to shake your head, automatically denying whatever gift he’d wanted to give you, “Ransom…you shouldn’t have gotten me anything, I coul-“

“I got it for you, now open it, Anya,” he said firmly, cutting you off. He slid the well-wrapped box towards you and you bowed your head, nodding. When you tore the paper off, you noticed it was a sleek black box with a folding lid. Flipping it up, you noticed the black oddly shaped tube. But you had recognized it. It was Louboutin and easily around a hundred dollars, “that stuff won’t smear…you know, in case you do meet someone special.”

You blushed and looked away, “thank you, Ransom.”

“Put it on.”

You raised your brow as you looked back to him, “what?”

“Put it on,” he chuckled softly, “You know…the party?”

He pulled out his phone and let you use the camera, watching you intimately as you applied it. When he put his phone away he took a few steps towards you. Your eyes met his as you bit your lip.

“Thank you, Ransom.”

He nodded, biting his own lip, “you look beautiful, Anya.”

And without much more he broke away from you, going over to another section in the cellar, and grabbing the bottle of scotch, before setting that too on the island. Then he slid past you, walking back up the stairs.

You’d stayed down there for another minute, not quite sure of what had just happened, but when Lyle came down the steps a few seconds later, you were quick to apologize, reminding him that you’d never been in the cellar before. He gave you a sympathetic smile as you came back into view with the two bottles, and then you went upstairs.

The toasts and dessert went off without a hitch, the rest of Lyle’s serving team showing up while you brought out the dessert plates. Meanwhile, when they took over, you couldn’t help but notice Ransom’s cold expression when you were replaced by Daisy, one of the girls with a very obvious crush on him.

You did, however, make yourself useful by going into the kitchen and helping the caterers prepare everything. And soon, the party was roaring to life. People from the publishing company, authors, and anyone of remote importance were showing up at the Thrombey mansion for the excuse to drink with one another. You’d noticed Daisy following him around like a lost puppy, getting him drinks, trying to make herself useful to anyone that was in his vicinity so that it wouldn’t seem like she was following him around, and even attaching herself to Marta and Meg at one point.

But Ransom’s attention seemed to be geared towards you the entire time, yet again. Any time you’d seen him, his demeanor was different. He would stand up a little bit straighter, laugh just a little bit louder, and joke and smile with the guests a little bit more. His eyes seemed to light up as you walked around, making yourself useful, whether it was by cleaning up the empty glassware and plates, walking around with a tray of hors d’oeuvres, or hiding in the kitchen and doing dishes, you made sure to stay busy.

And that’s when Ransom knew he was in love with you. In the exact moment where you were laughing at something Harlan said while offering the men around him something off the tray. Linda had come over to her son, “I take it she liked the lipstick if she’s wearing it.”

“Yeah…”

“your grandfather made sure to hang the mistletoe at the doorway of her room,” she laughed in a huff. Ransom was hardly paying attention to what his mom was saying as he watched her move along, weaving through the partygoers, “you know, if it was anyone else on the staff that you liked you know I’d disown you.”

“She’d be worth it in a heartbeat,” he muttered happily, “I think I’m in love with her, mom…”

“She’s like a diamond in the rough, I’ll give you that,” Linda shrugged, drinking her wine, “dad told me that she’s working her way through school…business school…her grades are impressive…”

Ransom’s eyes shot to his mother, “you were looking into her?”

“Of course I was,” she laughed, “it’s obvious how taken you are with her. Had to make sure my future daughter-in-law will keep our family on track.”

“Daughter-in-law?” Ransom asked, raising his brow, “sure you aren’t jumping the gun a little bit there, mom?”

“I know that look, Hugh Ransom Drysdale,” she said knowingly, “it was how my father looked at my mother. You love that girl and you’re not even seeing her…you know, daddy stole my mother away from another man…you’ve got that advantage…there’s only yourself standing in your way.”

“Yeah,” he nodded softly, thinking about his mother’s words as he watched you disappear into the kitchen once more, “I’m really good at that.”

“Would it help if I offered her a job at my company as a special Christmas present?”

A knock woke you from your slumber. Looking at your alarm clock you sighed. It was shortly after midnight. With a yawn, you slipped out of bed and into your fuzzy slippers, then opened the door.

Immediately the sleep left your body and you stood shock still as you looked at Ransom who was standing there in his pressed dress pants and cable knit sweater. You wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly regretting answering your door in nothing but a pair of sleep shorts and a cami, “Ransom. I-”

“Shut up,” he muttered, cutting you off. Before you could give him an angry response he pulled you into his arms, and your lips met in a sweet, but heated kiss. You felt your eyes close as you melted into it, and your hands grasped at his sweater. When he pulled away, you both were breathing heavily, “Merry Christmas, Anya.”

He pointed up and you noticed the mistletoe. You bit your lip and looked down, but he hooked a finger under your chin to press a lone kiss to your lips.

“D-do you want to come in?”

“God, yes!”

[literaryobsession]

hand in hand || bakugo x fem!reader

summary: all the top 3 students from the sports festival are required to open the socialization night for the school festival

warning: mild cursing

word count: 1440

chapters: i , ii , iii , iv , vi , vii

viii

"Hey pretty."

Wandering over the list of food on the menu to the source of the sound, you frowned and cringed to see a man standing by your table. You always avoid places where you can get hit on because you really hate having to deflect the most obnoxious men. Guess a cafe isn't as safe as you thought.

"Can I help you?" At twenty, you were used to the slimeballs that life seem to always throw at you. Mineta was the practice dummy that you have spent years getting used to.

"Yeah, how about you and me go out on a date?" The man couldn't seem to take the hint of your glares.

This made you laugh, "Sorry, you're not my type."

"Oh yeah, what's your type, baby?" The man inquired further, "Maybe I can change that around."

Your eyes found your boyfriend who just entered the establishment. His eyes surveyed the place before he found you. He frowned at the man hovering over you and immediately made his way behind this lanky fellow. Bakugo's bigger form shadowed over the man who has been making moves on you.

You point out your boyfriend before smiling, "Him. I like my men angry and blond." The man turned, expecting someone smaller than the Pro Hero Dynamight. He scurried away, muttering some apology towards you and Bakugo and you laugh, "Hi baby."

"Tch, really? Here in this cafe?" Bakugo pulled out a seat and sat down, "You really can't go places without me, huh woman?" He took his coat off, revealing the arms you loved the most.

After UA, Bakugo bulked up. More than he could ever do in school, he made it another goal to be able to make sure his body doesn't fail him on his journey to the top. His quirk was getting stronger and you enjoyed the times when you can run your hands on the fruit of his hard work. Katsuki Bakugo is a snack. Your snack.

"I know." You offered him the menu, "Well, before we get distracted, go on and order." You glanced at your wrist watch, "They're late."

Bakugo grunted while reading the menu, "What do you expect?" He had his free hand resting on the table, open for you to take but you were feeling quite mean this afternoon so you ignored it. The blond noticed that his hand has been vacant for a few minutes and glared at you, "Y/N, hand."

"What?" You tilted your head innocently, "What about my hand?"

"Don't play coy with me woman. When I have my hand like this, you hold it. I have told you this every single time." Bakugo out the menu down and using this hand, he grabbed yours and placed it on his waiting hand. "Dumbass." He muttered before looking back down at the menu.

You smiled at this.

When you started dating on your first year, Bakugo could never say the words that he is so used to speaking now. He will grab your hand, sure, but he will never vocalize the need for you to do the same. He would simply mumble under his breath and it took you months to realize that he wanted you to take his hand too.

He didn't even learn to vocalize until your second year, when you finally got the girlfriend title. Bakugo had to go through months of plucking up the courage to actually say it and you were simply overjoyed when he finally asked the question. For then on, Bakugo learned to verbalize things he wanted done and this would often make you into a blushing and blabbering mess. Play flirting is his strength now.

On your third year, the perks of dating and being Bakugo's girlfriend was in full bloom. Not only did he show you and everyone else that you were the most important person in his world but he also made it a point that you know this every single day. You never doubted him, his loyalty, or his feelings.

You never had a reason to because he never gave you one.

After graduation, Bakugo gave you the free time that he rarely gets after being employed. Being a hero meant you barely had time to rest and the thought that he is giving you the small chunks of free time he is able to scrape from his busy hero life meant the world for you.

"Sorry we're late!" Kirishima flopped down on the chair next to Bakugo, following him were Sero, Mina, and Kaminari. You all had busy lives and this is one of the rare moments when you'd get to meet up.

"Tch, you're always so damn late, you extras." Your boyfriend told them. He was right, they always seem to be late and they always found reasons why they were. It irritated him too much.

"Ah, as if you don't like the extra quiet time with L/N." Kaminari scoffed as he called for a glass of water.

You shared at look with Bakugo when Kaminari called you by your last name, so you lifted the hand that he was holding and fixed your hair with it.

Mina gasped almost immediately when she saw you move. Your bestfriend never misses anything. "He didn't! He did? When? How? Why did you not-"

"What?" Sero's eyes wandered over to Mina then to you. That was when he found that glistening rock on your ring finger. "Dude! Really? Wow! Congratulations!"

"Pay up, Kaminari." Kirishima laughed, extending a hand towards the other blond who took some cash from his wallet.

"You're still betting on our life, people?" You laughed as you showed Mina the ring that Bakugo gave you when he proposed the night before.

Bakugo watched you and Mina fawn over the engagement ring he gave you and together with it, the promise he offered you, the life he offered you.

"Congrats man." Kirishima told his best friend. He knew that Bakugo would propose eventually since he was there when Bakugo bought the ring two years ago. He and the boys were there when Bakugo swore that he will keep you, that he will eventually marry you, and even though it was just after graduation, he pooled all of his savings (from study-work and from his first job in the agency) to get you that ring.

The boys just didn't know when he'd do it. But when you called up your friends out of the blue yesterday night, Kirishima knew. He knew that there is a big news that you'd share with them - Kaminari bet that it was simply nothing, L/N just missed everyone but Kirishima was adamant.

You were getting married.

You found your friends suggesting wedding ideas over drinks and cake. Mina even sent a message to the Class I-A group chat (which was named Mr. Aizawa's Problem Children after graduation) which resulted to you receiving congratulatory messages. Bakugo had to personally keep your buzzing phone because it was irritating him.

"How about one photo? I'm so excited to post this on my Instagram!" Kaminari took out his phone and you glance at your boyfriend for permission. He shrugged, it was better that the news come from Kaminari than some nosy journalist.

Kaminari raised his arm and took the selfie. He inspected the photo and laughed, "Can we not have a photo of Kacchan looking at L/N like it is the first time he fell in love with her?" He handed the phone to you and you nudged your soon-to-be husband.

He always does this, looking at you like you're the only person in the room, in the world. It always made you feel butterflies.

"One more." Kaminari took his phone and took another one. "Ah, I'm just gonna have to post this one."

"He's always looking at her, what do you expect man?" You heard Sero say.

Was he still...

You turn to face Bakugo who was indeed looking at you, the love of his life. There was a certain softness in his expression that not a lot of people are able to comprehend. He was the same explosive Katsuki Bakugo from school but whenever you come in the picture, his walls break.

He has long accepted that his emotions could never make him weak because loving you, being able to wake up beside you, and being able to spend the rest of his life with you are some of the many motivations that keep this going every single day.

He vowed to never lose a match so he can always come home to you.

And he kept this promise.

Every single day.

tagging: @icedemon1314 , @deneuves , @pink-hufflepuff

[only-we]

"Well... in that case I'm more lucky than you believe.", he replied, his voice a low lilt of growls as he thought back to that time. Ten years ago. Longer. Way longer.

"It was the same underground slimeball of a ripperdoc. Sure... can't fucking tell whether he used teh same chip he used on your lil princess ass. But. He made a chip of a person very, very dear to me."

Miller.

It was him. He was on that chip. Jacob had no proof of it. But the chip he held up looked quite similar to the one stuck in the back of Ariadne's nape. Not that she could tell. The chip Jacob held up looked older, more damaged at the edges. Scratches. But the core was intact. It looked tiny in his fingers - enhanced by chrome gorilla arms.

Another step closer, as if he wanted her to see it. His eye looking as crazy as the red light of his chrome-eye. Fixating her. Her. The angel. The one who came back.

"I was close. very close. i even paid that fucker off. Unlike your boyfriend, who couldn't gather the eddies in time. Oh. But then your little darling snapped. And he shot the ripperdoc into pieces. Destroying my chances. He fucked up my deal with that ripperdoc and didn't give a flying shit about it... now, I know nothing in this city is fair. But, you also know the laws of the street... tell me, what happens when a third party fucks up a deal between two others, hm?"

@only-we | X

There was a sense of pride on the line.

Ariadne was furious at being tailed like some damsel in distress. She had worked so fucking hard to get back to who she had once been. Were there areas she was lacking? Of course. But she was close enough to the girl she had once been to handle herself.

And some chromed up creep in the shadows of the alley wasn't about to shake up her confidence. He could be a big, mean fucker alright, but it wasn't the first time she had to get herself out of dodge against a larger opponent.

Though he hadn't exactly threatened her. He had a kind of presence that made her hair stand on end though, so she wasn't all relaxed with her guard down either.

"You're shit out of luck." Ariadne bluntly stated. "Unless the same underground slimeball of a ripperdoc chipped your person using stolen assets from Arasaka themselves. What happened to me was one freak accident after another. Wasn't the first time the chip had been used to hustle big money, and it's dumb fucking luck my soul happened to be on a fresh chip with no other passengers. Besides that, ten years back these chips were experimental at best. So, you'd need a lot of fucking luck on your side big guy, and I don't mean to offend but you don't look the lucky type."

[edupunkn00b]

The Uses of Adversity, Ch. 5: Drive Safely

Prev - Drive Safely - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Rated T - CW: Swearing (one f-bomb)

Roman watched, dazed, as Remus murmured something in Logan's ear, probably directions to their house, but maybe something else, too. He couldn’t tell. A bank of automated Chauvet lights strobed behind them, and Roman squinted, barely able to make out their silhouettes.

The droning buzz of the guests' laughter and cheers bounced against him and the pounding bass pouring from the DJ's speakers made his ears ring. It was all he could do to nod dumbly against his brother’s shoulder as Remus gave him one more hug, soft words washing over him. Logan met his eyes, hand raised as he telegraphed his movements and reached for his shoulder. He smiled and gave it a little squeeze.

Logan was saying something. Roman blinked and, after a moment, read his lips. “Ready?” Roman nodded and let himself be led back through the crowd. They pushed through the exit doors into the clear, quiet night and Roman stopped on the sidewalk to suck in a lungful of cold air. He looked up at the stars, the sparkling pinpricks of light set in the inky blackness soothing after the glare of the party lights. Logan stood quietly next to him, still but for a quick look over his shoulder every time the door to their left opened.

After a few minutes, Roman turned to him and finally spoke. “I’m ready. Thank you… th—the air…” He waved away his incoherence with a small frown.

But Logan smiled and nodded as though Roman made perfect sense. He gestured toward the parking lot across the street. “Shall we?”

Together, they walked in silence through the lot, Logan leading them directly to the third row and several cars down. Roman chuckled, his chest loosening. “This is a huge parking lot. You didn’t even have to do the chirpy thing with your keys to find your car. I usually have to take a picture of the spot just to remember where I parked.”

“I… “ Logan looked down at his keys and shrugged. “I just remember, I suppose. Weird, I know.”

Roman grinned and touched his arm. “Not weird. Cool. Impressive.” Logan stared at his hand and Roman quickly lowered it. He was about to apologize but Logan cleared his throat and pointed to a dark minivan two cars down.

“Just here,” he said and unlocked the doors.

After he clambered into his seat, Roman fumbled a bit with the seatbelt. His hands felt encased in heavy gloves, slow and numb. Logan simply nodded again and helped when the buckle twisted and waited until Roman was fully secured before starting the engine. "Thanks," Roman whispered.

They were quiet again as Logan carefully backed out and onto the mostly empty street. Even in his daze, Roman noticed how, aside for a quick check of his backup camera, Logan didn't rely on the sensors and proximity warning lights, and instead physically turned and checked his mirrors as he drove. Roman spent a lot of time in other people’s cars—he'd sold his own when he'd moved to London and relied on rideshare apps and friends when public transit wouldn’t take him somewhere, so he'd watched a lot of drivers over the years. Roman hadn’t seen anyone drive this carefully since driving school.

Logan stayed quiet, though, and after a few blocks, something clicked in Roman's head. “My brother threatened you.”

Hands tight on the steering wheel—a perfect, modern seven and four—Logan still managed to keep his eyes on the road. “H-how—?” he started to ask, voice sounding choked.

Roman shook his head with a humorless laugh. “Remus takes his fraternal responsibilities very seriously. He thinks I can’t handle myself.” He frowned, tugging at his torn collar. “Maybe he’s right.”

“That slimeball’s behavior is no reflection on you, Roman.” Logan’s eyes glinted in the darkened car as they flicked over to his, jaw set. “Please do not allow Pedro's actions to color your view of yourself. You did nothing to earn his mistreatment.”

Streetlights bounced through the windows as they drove in silence. Roman stared out the window, thinking through Logan's words. He wondered if he was right. He hoped he was right. He must've done something right to have earned the kindness and care Logan was showing him. Or maybe… Maybe Logan was just a really good guy.

“You know… I always thought you were a really decent man, Logan.” He said at last, turning to watch him drive. Roman smiled, “Glad to see 19 year old me knew what he was talking about.”

“Th—thank you," Logan's voice squeaked from disuse. His eyes seemed to track between the road and his mirrors a little faster than before. Finally, he spoke again. “You know the boys always adored you. I think to this day you remain Remy’s favorite teacher ever.”

“Assistant teacher,” Roman shook his head, “I—”

Logan glanced at him as they stopped at a red light and his smile warmed Roman’s cheeks. “You made an impact on him.”

“I… thank you. It’s… it's been a while since I’ve worked with children. Most of my productions have been all adult casts. I…” Roman’s voice faded, a fuzzy happiness falling over him at the memories. The way Remy and the other children at the childcare center would excitedly share their creations in paint or clay or Legos. Or how they'd curl up on the rug and listen, eyes wide, during story time. His work at the center had been a shining spot in dark days back at college. “I miss teaching,” he whispered.

"I was always impressed with how much energy you had back then,” Logan chuckled. “When I’d pick up the boys late in the day, you looked just as happy and energetic as you did at the start of it.”

Laughing, Roman waved his hand with a flourish. "Acting,” he said in a deep announcer's voice.

Logan laughed and Roman stared at the way his eyes crinkled, his mouth falling open as, shoulders shaking, a deep, joyous rumble poured out. His eyes sparkled under each passing streetlamp. Logan's bangs fell over his eyes and, before he thought too much about it, Roman reached out and tucked them behind his ear. His hair was as soft as it looked. "Hard to drive with hair in your eyes," he mumbled, feeling his cheeks grow warm again. Prince, what part of straight do you not understand?

With the exception of a few, brief instructions and a near miss on the exit—Roman rarely drove himself to his brother's home—silence fell over them again. This time, instead of staring out the window, though, Roman's gaze kept floating over to Logan in the driver's seat, watching his eyes as they kept up their vigilant movements, always alert to everything around them, even on the quiet, mostly empty streets. After a while, Roman relaxed into the seat, eyes going a little unfocused as he watched Logan drive.

"I believe we are here," Logan's gentle voice suddenly filled his ears.

Sitting up straight, Roman looked around. "I—I think I must've…"

"It is quite alright, you dozed off. Perfectly understandable." Logan's voice was quiet. Everything was quiet. Roman realized the car had, in fact stopped, the engine cut. Logan nodded outside. "Is this your brother's place?"

Roman looked out the window. There it was, the little brownstone, giant pride flag hanging from the pole Janus had to fight the Capitol Hill Neighborhood Board to install. It was their place. He nodded, suddenly reluctant to leave.

His hand paused on the door handle as he turned back and looked at Logan in the dark of the cabin. Headlights from a passing car shone across the slope of his nose, the sharp line of his jaw. The curve of his lips. Roman slowly leaned away from the door, moving closer to Logan. He froze. What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Prince? He pulled back and opened the door in one motion and smiled at Logan. “Thank you again for the ride and for… for everything tonight. It… despite the circumstances, it was really nice to see you again, Logan.”

Logan cleared his throat and looked down at the steering wheel, brushing away a bit of lint. But Roman caught the glint of teeth in the dark. He smiled. “I am sorry you had to go through that but… I am glad I could help.” Roman set one foot on the ground. Logan reached out and then drew back just as he touched his sleeve. “You—you should come by sometime. I… ah… Remy and Virgil would be thrilled to see you again. And you’d get to meet their little brother, Patton.” Logan looked back down at the steering wheel. “I—if you are n—not too busy, of course.”

Smiling broadly, Roman nodded. “I’d really like that.” He reached in his pocket and took out his phone and tapped at it for a moment before passing it to Logan. It was open to a blank contact for Logan Sanders 🦸

“You got my name right,” he said quietly, the glow of the phone illuminating his face, lips parted, with a small smile tugging up one corner. Logan entered his phone number and then passed the phone back to him through the car window. “I—I only said it once.”

“And I was listening.” Roman winked and walked up the steps to his brother’s house, turning around to wave once he got to the door.

~~~

Logan waited until Roman was inside, the house lights flicked on, and he pulled aside the curtain to wave one more time before starting the engine and driving away. His phone buzzed before he'd even gotten back on the highway. He made good time on the drive to the Eastside. For once, the bridge was both open and nearly devoid of traffic.

After he got home and parked, and the garage door closed, Logan pulled out his phone. He read and re-read the message, a slow smile spreading across his face and his hand went up to where Roman had thoughtfully brushed back his hair from his eyes.

How about next weekend? - Ro

Taglist: @melaniidarling @braingoburr @demon9980 @crossiantgay @psychedelicships @justmeandmygayships @ts-creator-boost @bluerosesbleedred

[netraptor]

Cookies for Crow

Crow slipped out of the Eliksni den, concealing the mesh bag under his cloak. The cold wind threatened to whisk his cloak backward, concealing his precious prize: a couple of pounds of human food. It had cost him hours of scavenging to find enough metals and ship parts to trade for it. But the Eliksni from the old House of Wolves always treated him fairly and traded him decent food: bread that wasn’t too stale, meat that was probably of animal origin and sometimes salted. Maybe it was his imagination, but the ex-Wolves seemed to pity him. Maybe they’d known him in his past life.

Crow made his furtive way along the ridge above Thieves’ Landing, heading back for Spider’s stronghold. He’d hide deep in the passages where he slept and enjoy a quiet meal with Glint, his Ghost. It had been two days since he’d eaten anything, and hunger was a constant, gnawing presence. The wind whipped at him, dragging at his hood, trying to peel it away from his face. He held it tighter and pressed on.

“Guardians coming,” Glint said in his head. “Hide, quick.”

“Is it my friend?” Crow asked, looking over his shoulder, toward the oncoming sparrows. He had one friend among the Guardians--a tall, rangy Hunter who wore a tattered cloak with the ace of spades sewed onto it. That symbol was becoming a mark of friendship, a token of safety.

“No,” Glint replied. “Too late, they’ve seen us. Here, let me take the bag.” The bag disappeared from under his arm in a transmat flash, stored in the Ghost’s memory as data. Food lost flavor during its stay in storage, but at least it wouldn’t be destroyed in what was coming. Crow was all too familiar with Guardians.

The three sparrows slowed to a crawl alongside him. Crow kept walking and didn’t look at them.

“Hey!” one of the Guardians yelled. “You!”

Crow didn’t look up.

“Is that him?” another Guardian exclaimed. “What’s he doing alive?”

“Thinks he’s one of us,” spat a third. “You know what I think of that?”

A gunshot rang out. Crow staggered as a bullet punched through his back. Pain was familiar as hunger.

“Kill him!” yelled another voice. “Make him pay for what he did!”

It was several minutes before Crow died. Sometimes Guardians killed him quickly and got it over with. Other times, like today, they took their time.

When Glint resurrected him, the Guardians were gone, but they had worked him over with knives. His cloak and clothing were shredded.

"I'm sorry, Crow," Glint said softly, flying around him as he climbed to his feet. "This bunch was particularly cruel."

"It's all right," Crow muttered, pulling the tattered remains of his cloak around himself. "It's not the first time I've had to mend these clothes." He said nothing about the Guardians, themselves. He'd come to accept their behavior as punishment for whoever he'd been in his past life. A criminal, probably.

Cold, hungry, and tired, he slipped into the cave where Spider made his lair. He had to pass by Spider's audience chamber to reach his own quarters. If he was lucky, the huge Eliksni would be occupied with shady business deals and ignore him.

Unfortunately, Spider was alone. "Crow," he barked in a gravely voice. "What have you got there?"

Crow spread his empty hands. "Nothing, sir."

Spider gestured with one hand. "Glint, I know you're carrying something for him. Give it up. Or I'll make use of this little switch." He fingered a crude remote control that sat beside his throne.

The Ghost appeared and gave Crow a sad look. Crow nodded to him. The explosive on Glint's shell was an effective chain about their necks. Glint transmatted the mesh bag into Spider's hands.

"Ahh," said the alien, rummaging inside. "Your weekly supply run, eh? I'll take this off your hands. A full belly makes you complacent, and I need my Crow sharp and hungry." He waved a hand, dismissing him.

Crow went to his workshop, off Spider's room, and slumped on the bench. Hunger still pinched his middle, his clothes hung in tatters, and all his hard work finding trade materials for food had been for nothing. 

Glint flew in front of him, his little blue eye as sad as Crow felt. "We'll find food some other way. I've heard there's good salvage up in Sorik's Cut."

Crow nodded. Glint always tried to cheer him up, tried to look on the bright side. But there was no bright side to this life.

"Maybe I deserve this," Crow whispered. "Maybe in my past life, I was such a horrible, vile slimeball, that I deserve punishment now."

"That man died," Glint said with conviction. "You're a new person. You're my friend. Nobody deserves this treatment. One day, we'll look back on this and laugh."

"Or cry," Crow muttered.

Their conversation was interrupted by footsteps in the passage. Crow straightened and gestured for Glint to hide. Then he recognized the tall, rangy Hunter with the ace of spades cloak. Crow relaxed and smiled. His friend. The only Guardian he could trust.

"Hey, Crow," said the Hunter. "Back at the City, it's the Dawning. I brought you this." He held out a box with snowflake designs on the sides.

Crow took it and automatically crammed it beneath his cloak. "Thanks," he muttered. Then the aroma of sweet bread and almonds reached his nose. He pulled out the box and and opened it. Strips of crisp biscotti reposed on snow-white paper. They were still warm. Beneath the cookies were other things--fresh cured meats, a few vegetables that Crow craved like the Light itself.

"Thank you," he said again, this time around a lump in his throat.

"Happy Dawning," said the Hunter. He sat on a machine housing and pulled out a box of his own. "If we're quiet, your boss won't notice."

Crow nodded, turned his back toward the door, shielded his care package under his cloak, and had a merry meal with his only friend.

The end.

[hobiiwan]

the mandalorian with a pregnant s/o

⇒ pairing: the mandalorian x reader

⇒ summary: pretty self-explanatory

⇒ warnings: brief mentions of some nsfw spicy times

⇒ notes: based on this anon (thank you!) thought the gif would be fitting. this could potentially be extended into dad!Mando (although that’s already kind of shown in the show👀so let me know if yall are down for some MandoBaby bc i definitely am) also i kinda went overboard, but who am i if not extra

you’re not quite sure how it happened

i mean, okay,,,,

you knOw

but you can’t seem to fathom how one day you were just you and now you’re you’re carrying a little person inside you

it comes as a surprise

even though the signs were all there

the other day, you’d snapped at mando for the tiniest thing

twenty minutes later you were practically on him

not to mention the morning sickness

thaT should’ve been your biggest red flag

yet you simply chalked it up to the fault of questionable cantina food

however, now with the pregnancy test in your hands with the double red lines mockinG you straight to your face

there’s no denying it

you’re pregnant

you hate that your first thought instantly jumps to doubt

how are you going to raise this baby?? your life was not one for a child

you would never want your child to grow up in a constant state of danger

and what would mando think??? what if he doesn’t want to keep the baby; what would you do then?

you haven’t even seen his face, how are you going to raise a child together

will the child be raised a mandalorian????

so many questions

but under it all, you were happy

you’ve always wanted a family of your own

not that baby yoda doesn’t count as your child bc it totaLLY DOES

although this isn’t exactly how you expected it to happen

you’re determined to let your baby grow up surrounded by love

you just hope mando is too

when you tell him, it’s not a big occasion

it’s another day, he’s checking the ship’s controls and you’re curled up on the seat next to him

he instantly knows something’s up

because for once, you’re quiet

you gnaw on your lip as your knee bounces up and down

the anxiety is radiating off of you and it’s starting to get to him

never one to beat around the bush, he asks, turning to your huddled form, straight to the point

“what’s wrong?”

taking a deep breath you force the words out your mouth

“i’m pregnant, mando.”

your throat burns as your eyes well with tears

he goes absolutely silent

even the usual rhythm of his breathing through his moderator goes cold

his helmet is turned towards you, but you feel as though he’s looking anywhere but at you

the second the first teardrop spills down your cheek, that’s when he finally moves

whatever was on hand is dropped as he goes to take your hands in his

“i—” he starts, continues with a waver, “do you want this?”

his voice is gentle, more so than you’ve ever heard it before

mando’s thoughts are soaring

he can’t believe this is real; you’re real

he takes a moment to thank the maker for gifting him with you, and now your baby

he swears all the planets align when you nod

you’re smiling now and even with the tear tracks drying on your cheeks, mando thinks he’s never seen anything more ethereal

his hands tighten around yours as he pulls you close to him

“but what about—how can we raise a child like this?”

at this moment, he sounds so vulnerable; so open with his fears that you can’t help but love him a little more

you press your forehead against mando’s helmet

closing your eyes, you know he does too

“we’ll find a way.”

it’s in the way that he allows you to place your hands just where his helmet meets his shoulders, fingers brushing against the sliver of exposed skin

the way his own hands are heavy against the small of your back, keeps you grounded in this moment of euphoria

he doesn’t have to say it; neither do you

the words hang in the air, unspoken yet heard

you know your baby will be loved

NOW,,, TO THE FUN STUFF

mando ups his protectiveness to the goDS

not one haiR on your pretty little head will be harmed on his watch

he won’t let anyone get close to you, and his awareness has been tuned to a whole new level

it’s to be expected; you know he’s just doing this because he cares

but,,, manz forgotten you can take care of yourself just fine

the first few weeks, he’s a little paranoid, to say the least

but once he sees you slam a slimeball who got a little too handsy into a wall, he relaxes a bit more

still, don’t expect to do anything on your own bc for the next 9+ months, mando’s signed up to be your new butler

most days, he’ll have everything you want on hand; whenever you have cravings, back pain, swollen ankles

he’s got u

on the days you have terrible all-day morning sickness, he’s right there holding your hair up and rubbing your back soothingly

when you slump against the toilet, you swat him away because you don’t want anyone to see you right now

he doesn’t give a flying damn

cuddles are a biG thing (which surprises both of you since you’re both quite reserved people)

most nights you’ll fall asleep to his hand tracing over your growing bump and not gonna lie,,,, it’s kinda great

unTIL your bump really starts to grow and you can no longer reach down to pull on your own boots or sleep on your back

that’s when it really hits you

by the time you get to your third trimester, you’re ready for this baby to be out of you

you can’t say you particularly enjoy feeling bloated 24/7 and not being able to frequent your beloved grimy cantinas

but you’re also really excited to meet your lil baby!

you wonder how he or she will look; like you or their father?

what will their name be? 

you probably should have planned these things out by now

but since when were you and mando known for planning?

eventually mando sets up a little nursery on the ship; baby yoda’s going to have a sibling very soon

you have yet to discuss the whole helmet issue with mando

hell, you don’t even know his real name

what you do know is that you want your child to know the face of their father

but you also know how important it is for him that his face is kept hidden

mando knows the conversation is bound to happen one way or another, yet he’s still a deer in the headlights when you bring it up

he sighs heavily, and tells you he’ll think about it (despite that usually being a half-assed answer from anyone else, you know his to be genuine)

you don’t bring it up for a while afterwards; you don’t want to push him

until one day,,,,,

you’re chilling with the Child (not your own) (yet), who’s happily cooing in your arms, when the father of your actual child comes stomping in

“dyn.”

you blank, eyebrows furrowing in confusion; the Child mimics your expression with full emphasis on the eyes

“come again?”

he sighs, (a common occurrence nowadays)

reader, you’re exasperatinG (but in a good way)

“my name,” he tries again, “it’s dyn. dyn jarren.”

your eyes widen comically as it dawns on you; that is noT what you were expecting today

he would’ve chuckled at your expression but this was noT the time

“dyn,” you breathe out as a smile grows on your face

you like it, it’s suits him perfectly

that’s when he decides he likes his own name, if it means he can hear you say it again

you lean up to press your lips against where his own would be under the helmet

“thank you,” you murmur with a softness he still hasn’t gotten used to

suddenly mando feels ready to reveal his whOLE life story to you

this is a hugE step obviously, and you can’t help but still call him mando from time to time

force of habit :’))

but when you feel that first wave of sharp pain piercing your lower back, his name is the first thing that escapes your lips

after the first ‘oh shit’ ofc

he’s by your side within a span of ten seconds

you still manage to tease him about the cacophony of clanging metal as he runs through the ship

but then the next wave of contractions hit and you’re 200% sure you blackout (mando tells you later that you didn’t)

because the next thing you know, (6 hours later, mando says) there are about 4 medical droids around you

they’re telling you to push

and boY DO YOU PUSH

you didn’t think you had it in you

mando didn’t think he had it either, as you crushed every single bone in his hand

you’re also mildly cursing him

“daMn yoU MANDO, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT BECAUSE I AM NEVER SLEEPING WITH YOU EVER AGAIN-”

that’s a lie, obviously

there’s a pause as you gasp for breath

you’re knackereD

suddenly there’s a little cry

the droids clean your baby up and they hand him to mando

it’s a,,,,,,, drumroll please

girl !!!!

his heart stops when the baby, your baby, meets his eyes, or rather, his helmet

at that moment, mando knows he’d do absolutely anything for this little person

he’d take his helmet off a thousand times if it meant he’d get to love her properly, the way a real father should

that’s exactly what he decides to do

within the next few days, you’re back home

one morning, you wake up, suspiciously well rested

that’s weirD,,,,

you realise your daughter never cried last night

you bolt upright as quickly as you can in your state, alarmed

motherhood is wiLD

you stumble outside, eyes darting for your baby when they land on something that makes your heart stop

there he is, dyn jarren, the mandalorian, holding your baby girl in his arms, bathed in all the glory of the binary sunrise

but that’s not what gets you

his back is turned to you, and you can see the back of his head, tufts of unruly dark brown curling around warm, bronzed skin

there are tears welling in your eyes as he turns to face you

your gaze meets his own, not the reflection you’re so used to

but his eyes, rounded and dark; the ones you see on your daughter

as soon as your face breaks into a grin, he knows he’s made the right decision

your breath hitches as his lips curl into a smile; it’s a little uncertain, a little nervous

but it’s one you know you’ll never get tired of in this lifetime

he’s taken it off.