#my therapist told me i need someone who holds my hand. who kisses my cheek. these are the people who do this for me.

[thedevotionaltour]

trying not to ruminate and redirect my thoughts and just remembered how one of my best friends on earth said how much he misses me and she wants to live with and hug me again and the real part that really tugs at my heart is them going "everyday with you is one i look forward to" and it's gonna make me cry. i love my friends so much i thank whatever force in the universe above made it possible for my best friends to be in my life

[nats--sw]

Gold chain (pt6) | Leah Williamson

First rounds of Wimbledon note: Well,, I tried to wrap all on this part but it was taking too long to fit everything in one go, so next part is coming. The opponents' names are made up by the way warnings: fluff and slow burn, a bit suggestive(?) nothing really pt1 my masterlist

Music used to relax you, there was nothing better than blasting your ears with tunes at full volume while taking a little nap during a massage session. But now, that seemed impossible with Jane, your physiotherapist, working on your legs, pressing hard on your most tense spots.

“Fuck, Jane, are you sure you're a physical therapist? It feels like you're wrecking my legs,” you complained, wincing as you clenched your fists. You were lying on your stomach, your face sunk into the hole of the massage table. 

Jane just smiled, a mixture of amusement and professionalism in her expression. She would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy seeing you like this after all the frustration you caused by not listening to her advice about overdoing your workouts.

“Stop whining, this is good for your muscles,” she said softly, still working on your legs.

“It’s not whining, it’s just-” you started to say, but another particularly firm squeeze shut you up, and you let out a whimper. “Jane!”

Jane leaned over a bit and took off your headphones. “If you’d listened to me, we wouldn’t be in this mess. You told me you don’t want to have any problems with injuries, and for that, your body needs to relax and recover from all the overactivity you’ve had.”

You knew she was right. You sighed heavily, but you wouldn’t admit it. Jane knew that all too well. “Can you at least be a little gentler?”

“If I were any gentler, it wouldn’t be effective,” she said, shaking her head. “Besides, you mentioned you want to be 100% for your game tomorrow. My guess is you’re trying to impress someone, but since I’m not a specialist, I’ll keep that to myself,” she added with a cheeky grin.

You managed a small smile despite the pain and her teasing. “Yeah, okay, I’ll shut up. But seriously, how much longer?”

Jane glanced at the clock on the wall, but when she saw your coach walk in, she didn’t answer.

“Hmhm,” Lucas cleared his throat, standing by the table. From where you were lying, you could only see his legs. “Can you explain what’s going on here?”

Jane’s hands stopped immediately as she turned her attention to Lucas.

“What’s going on now?” you asked, reluctantly sitting up on the table and facing your coach, who was holding a bouquet of flowers. “Since when does Wimbledon send flowers to players?” you chuckled, it was a pretty classy move, just right for an English tournament.

“It’s not from Wimbledon,” Lucas said, pulling out a small pink envelope from the flowers. “I haven’t read it,” he assured you, handing both the envelope and the flowers over. 

Lucas didn’t look happy, but surprisingly he didn’t seem mad either. His face was more a mix of curiosity and suspicion.

“I think I have a guess about who sent them,” he said, glancing over at Jane.

“Was it you? Aww, how sweet! They say you get nicer with age,” you teased the woman, giving her a playful nudge.

“It wasn’t me,” Jane said, playfully pinching your cheek with a grin.

“Ouch! Don’t do that,” you said, rubbing your cheek and then looking at the flowers. They were perfect, not too flashy, not too small. With a smile you didn’t even notice you had, you figured out who must’ve sent them. It was pretty obvious.

You set the flowers aside on the table and opened the envelope, with your coach and Jane watching intently. As you read the note, your heart skipped a beat.

[Best of luck for tomorrow, darling. I can’t be there, but I’ll be rooting for you no matter what. Kisses, L.W.]

“Is she blushing?” you heard Lucas mutter to Jane.

“Tell me, have you ever seen her this calm? She almost looks like an angel,” Jane said, shaking her head with a grin.

“I’m hearing you loud and clear,” you said, trying to keep your cool, even though you could feel your cheeks warming up.

“So, who’s the flowers from?” Lucas asked again, crossing his arms and giving you a serious look.

“The card doesn’t say,” you said, trying to slip the card back into the envelope.

“But you know who it is,” Jane said, her tone more certain.

“Nope.”

“Ah, well. We know who it is,” Lucas said with a smirk.

You stared at them, unsure of what to say.

“You’re just trying to get me to spill the name. I’m not telling you,” you said firmly.

“Oh, we know,” Jane insisted, her grin widening.

“Alright, then tell me who it is,” you said defiantly, crossing your arms and copying Lucas’s posture.

“Leah Williamson,” they answered at the same time. Lucas was dead serious, while Jane had a cheeky smirk.

You choked on your own saliva, realizing you’d just heard the name of the person who’d sent the flowers.

“W-what are you talking about? Have you both lost it?” you stammered, trying to cover up but failing miserably.

“We’ve seen her leaving your hotel a few times these past weeks,” Lucas said, staring at you with that intense, questioning look.

“Just a coincidence,” you said, turning your back on them, cursing yourself (and Leah for not being more discreet). “She could be friends with another player. The hotel’s packed.”

Jane giggled, and Lucas sighed, crossing his arms with a resigned look. “Yeah, right. And I’m the king of England,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I get what’s going on here. Just make sure you don’t mess things up. Focus on tennis during the matches. You can do all your talking and showing off with Williamson after you win your match. Got it?”

“Got it”

Wimbledon, day 2. Round of 128. Court 2.

The first match was usually the easiest since your opponent was often weaker, but tennis isn’t always about rankings and stats. Knowing that anything could happen made you a bit nervous. Even though those nerves hadn’t shown on the court so far, with a score of 1-0 and a pretty straightforward 6-3 win in the first set. But you still felt the pressure.

Your opponent’s first serve wasn’t the strongest, but you stayed alert. As the ball bounced on the grass, you got ready to return it. You adjusted your visor to block the sun, reminding yourself how crucial it was to stay focused between points.

When you saw your opponent toss the ball for her serve, you sprang into action, returning it with force. Unfortunately, you hit it a bit too hard, and it landed just inches outside the line.

The next serve was a bit stronger, and although you didn’t handle it perfectly with your racket, you still managed to get the ball over the net. Your opponent went for a volley but missed, giving you another point.

You glanced over at your team and saw Lucas grinning and giving you two thumbs up. You took a deep breath, feeling pretty relaxed knowing you had the match under control. You were almost there and could almost taste moving on to the next round.

The rest of the points were pretty smooth, though your opponent switched things up towards the end. She figured out that when she hit a low, fast ball, you had to work harder to return it.

On the last point to win the match, she did exactly what she’d been doing for most of the last set. When you saw that low ball coming, you rushed forward without thinking, got to it just in time, and smashed it across the court in the opposite direction your opponent was running.

And just like that, you’d made it through the first round.

Relief washed over you. You grabbed the gold chain around your neck, giving it a little tug as you walked over to your opponent. With a subtle smile, you shook her hand. She gave you a firm grip and a tired smile back. There weren’t many words exchanged, neither with her nor with the umpire.

As you waved to a few people in the stands, you couldn’t help but wonder if Leah had been watching. You really hoped she had.

“Great game, fast and on point. Nicely done,” Lucas said when you met after, giving you a friendly pat on the back.

“I made a bunch of unforced errors though. We need to work on that,” you said, handing him your racket bag.

“We’ll sort it out after the press conference,” he replied.

Leah was pretty nervous. She had no idea how you’d react to the surprise. After a match, she figured you’d be wiped out, and here she was, standing in your hotel room with dinner ready on the table. She’d made sure to keep it alcohol free, just as she promised Lucas early.

She still couldn’t figure out how she ended up with messages from your coach in her DMs. You hadn’t said much since yesterday, just sent her a selfie with the flowers she gave you.

Then she heard footsteps and voices outside the room. The door opened, and there you were, looking exhausted. You shut the door behind you with a bit of a struggle.

“Surprise,” Leah said softly, trying not to startle you.

You couldn’t help but jump when you saw her standing there. All that tiredness from the match seemed to disappear in an instant. You rushed toward Leah, and luckily, she reacted quickly, opening her arms just in time to catch you. As you practically threw yourself at her, she wrapped her arms around you, keeping you both from crashing to the floor.

“Leah! How the heck did you get in?” you asked, still stunned.

Leah didn’t answer right away. Instead, she looked at you with wide eyes and flushed cheeks, clearly taken aback by how close you were. Then, without missing a beat, she leaned in and kissed you. You closed your eyes, melting into the kiss as your lips met hers.

“Congratulations,” she whispered against your lips before kissing you again, this time with more intensity. She wrapped her arms around you, lifting you slightly so you could wrap your legs around her, holding you close in the air. “You were incredible today,” she murmured, her breath warm against your skin. “Loved the new white outfit”

“Stop trying to flatter me while you’re kissing me,” you said, scrunching your nose with a playful grin.

“Why?” Leah asked, tightening her grip on your waist just a bit more.

“Because it turns me on, and I’ve got this no-sex-on-tournaments rule,” you explained, trying not to roll your eyes at Leah’s mischievous grin.

“You know that sex doesn’t actually mess with your performance, right?”

“It’s not about that,” you said, holding up your gold chain for emphasis. “It’s just bad luck for me, and I’m super into my rituals and all that.”

“Sounds kinda boring,” Leah said with a laugh, clearly enjoying teasing you. Then she set you down and, before you could say anything else, she cupped your face in her hands. She made you stand on your tiptoes and kissed you again, this time gently and tenderly. 

“Okay, that’s enough,” you said, almost against your will, as you gently pushed Leah away. “Now, without sounding like a stalker, how did you get into my room?”

“Well, it’s pretty much common knowledge that your coach knows about us now,” Leah said, giving you a knowing look. You nodded in agreement. “Well, he messaged me to thank me. He says your backhand’s gotten way better since we started talking”  she added with a smirk, clearly pleased with herself.

“That’s got nothing to do with you,” you shot back, trying to play it cool.

“Anyway,” Leah said, brushing off your comment, “he told me I’ve got his blessing to be around you, especially now.” She playfully tugged at the laces of your joggers, pulling you so close you could feel her warmth and her breath on your skin. “He thinks I bring you luck.”

“It doesn’t,” you said, feeling your heart race and your stomach flutter from her closeness.

“Well, you won Roland Garros with me in the stands,” she murmured with a soft smile.

“I won because your mom was there,” you replied, trying to stay serious.

“Ugh, don’t mention my mum when we’re this close,” Leah said with a glare, giving you a playful shove. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way she tried to look frustrated while you both stood so close.

You’d never had company like this during a tournament before. Sure, your parents would show up for the big matches, but it wasn’t quite the same as seeing other players with their partners by their side throughout the whole tournament. You couldn’t help but feel a little envious.

“And besides,” Leah said, taking your hand and guiding you toward the table where dinner was set up. “I’m here to make sure you eat something decent, not just shove sandwiches down your throat.” She gestured at the table with a playful sigh. “It’s something light and flat- I didn’t pick the menu,” she said, wrinkling her nose at a plate full of vegetables.

Even though it was just a simple thing, having Leah here made your heart race in a way you hadn’t expected. It was something new and comforting that you didn’t realize you’d been missing.

“But it has the right amount of protein-” Leah started again, but you gently pulled her arm, making her turn to face you. Before she could say more, you leaned in and kissed her, your lips brushing against hers with a smile. She looked surprised for a second before smiling into it.

“I adore you,” you murmured against her lips, feeling the warmth of her presence make everything feel right.

Wimbledon, day 4. Round of 64. Court 3.

Having Leah in the stands was a whole new level of intensity. Sure, she’d been there before, but this was the first time you were fully aware she was just a few feet away, watching your every move. She was standing next to Jane, who was chatting away as you walked onto the court. You didn’t want to draw too much attention (though it was already a bit odd that the captain of the Lionesses was sitting with your team), so you just gave a casual nod and a small tilt of your visor to acknowledge her.

“Who’s the blonde?” your opponent, Feya, asked from her chair. You got along with her well enough, so it was more curiosity than anything else.

You glanced over at Leah as you opened your first bottle of water. She was wearing sunglasses, but her blonde hair was still pretty noticeable. However, in a tennis crowd, people would probably recognize a top 50 player faster than a female football star, so Leah wasn’t really standing out.

“Just part of my team,” you said, trying to keep it cool as you headed to the center of the court to warm up.

“She’s really locked in,” Leah said, nodding as the first set ended 4-6 in your favor. She’d been worried that having her here might throw you off, but it looked like you were totally on top of your game.

“You know,” Jane chimed in, still keeping her eyes on you as you rested with a towel over your face. “But Y/n can be quite... full of herself,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “She loves the spotlight and showing off. And trust me, having you here today is like adding fuel to her fire. She’ll be pushing herself even harder, wanting to impress you. When it’s over, she’ll probably act like it was easy, but she’s doing all this to catch your eye.”

“I don’t think that-”

“It’s not a bad thing. ” Jane said with a chuckle. “We’ve seen it before, I mean, trying to impress her parents. That’s why her coach isn’t bothered by you being here.”

Leah sighed, glancing over at you. You were hunched over, focused on a spot on the grass, completely in the zone.

“If she keeps this up for the rest of the match, she’ll have it in the bag. Let’s just hope it stays that way,” Jane said softly, her eyes full of admiration and concern as she looked at you.

The first few games of the second set had been going great. You were already 1-2 up, having just broken your opponent’s serve. Now it was your turn to serve, and you were locked in. You adjusted your grip on the racket, focused on your routine, bouncing the ball, eyeing the service box, and preparing to unleash a powerful first serve.

Just as you were about to toss the ball, the umpire’s voice cut through your focus. You glanced around and saw people talking and walking away, and the ball boys darting across the court. You muttered a curse under your breath, feeling a wave of frustration. Looking up, you saw a massive black cloud rolling in.

“Fuck me” you muttered, frustration thick in your voice. You looked up at the sky again, knowing what was coming. 

The umpire’s voice came through, barely audible over the commotion, “We’ll see if we can resume play in an hour.”

The din of the crowd grew louder as the reality of the rain set in. You tried to keep your frustration in check, knowing that any outburst could earn you a warning. You bit your lip, took a deep breath, and tried to calm your racing thoughts.

You wanted to scream, but you knew better than to lose it in front of everyone. You bit your lip and took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. You were playing some of your best tennis, every shot was spot on, and now rain was messing it all up. It was definitely going to give your opponent a breather, and you could practically see her smiling with relief on the other side of the court. 

Grumbling, you grabbed your stuff and headed back inside, your eyes almost blank. You didn't want anything to distract you. You put on your headphones, letting the music fill your mind and block out the chaos around you. You walked to the bathroom and locked yourself in. The echo of your footsteps bounced around the empty hallway, and every second of waiting felt like a hit to your concentration.

Inside the bathroom, you leaned against the wall, closing your eyes and trying to keep your focus. You replayed every point won in your head, every strategy planned.  Hopefully, your opponent was the one freaking out during this break. But Feya had way more experience and probably knew exactly how to handle this situation. You, on the other hand, had only a couple of rain delayed matches under your belt and had lost all of them after the restart. The statistics weren’t in your favor.

Pacing back and forth, you tried not to get cold. Your heart was still racing from the match, and you didn’t want to lose that. This was only the second round of Wimbledon, and going home this early was not an option, especially not with Leah watching you so closely.

You took a deep breath, still leaned against the cold wall, and grabbed your phone. Without hesitation, you dialed Leah's number. It didn't ring for more than three seconds before you heard her voice.

"Hey..."

"Leah," you said, but then froze. Damn, you had to stay focused, you were still halfway through the game.

"I wanted to call you, but your coach said it wouldn't be a good idea."

You put the phone down for a moment and adjusted your headphones. Your breathing started to hitch. You brought your forearm to your face and covered your eyes.

"Why? Did he say it would be a bad idea because I might be upset?" you said, letting out a nervous laugh.

"He said exactly that."

"Well, he was right, damn old man," you said, laughing despite the lump forming in your throat. "Would it offend you if I said how much I hate England right now?"

Leah's laughter calmed you a bit. It seemed as if she was oblivious to the whole situation that had you on the verge of collapse. That helped. Maybe everything wasn't as bad as your head was making it out to be.

"It's not the first time I've heard that," Leah said. "But England has good things to offer too. You just have to give it time."

"I would if it wasn't for this damn rain," you mumbled. "I was sure I could win 1-6. I just wanted to finish the match, and now I don't even know if it will be over."

"Your coach says the weather isn't too bad. Just hang in there..."

"Leah, I think I'm gonna lose this round," you said, rubbing your face with both hands, frustration bubbling up. "I don't wanna go home." You didn’t want to cry, but the tears were already starting to fall.

"You're not going home," Leah said firmly. "Remember last year? You made it to the semifinals with no problem."

"Yeah, but... I didn't have any rain delays last year," you sighed. "I got lucky last year. That's what I kept telling myself throughout the tournament. But this time feels different... maybe it's a sign that things aren't going my way this time."

"No," Leah cut in, her tone sharp. "It's not different. You're more experienced now, you've just won a Grand Slam, and you've worked on your game and your mindset. Don't let a cloud ruin all that."

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, letting Leah's words sink in. You needed that reminder, that spark of trust, to know she believed in you.

"Thanks, Leah," you whispered, feeling the lump in your throat start to dissolve. "I'm going to try."

"That's all you can do. Now, breathe, relax. You're in control."

"Promise me that if I lose... you won't leave," you asked in a soft, vulnerable whisper.

Leah was silent for a few seconds before she spoke again. "You won't lose. You'll win the next points, get through this round, and then we'll go rest."

"That's not what I asked," you said, almost pleading.

You heard Leah sigh. "I promise, I won't leave, no matter what."

Leah kept talking after that, slowly helping you keep it together, distracting you from the chaos around and within you. Her voice was a steady anchor, grounding you in the moment, making you feel like everything might just be okay.

An hour later, the game finally resumed. As soon as you stepped onto the court, it was clear you weren’t the same player from the first set. Your arms felt heavy, and your legs were shaky. The sky still looked threatening, and the air felt different from a few hours ago. You glanced at Feya, who seemed to be loving this new scenario, walking energetically to her spot while you felt like you were moving through mud.

Passing by your team's section, you couldn't even lift your head so you just shook it. You needed to pull yourself together. Unzipping your top a bit, you grabbed the chain around your neck. This was where you were supposed to be, and you had to push through. You wouldn't let Leah see you as a loser.

But thinking about it was easier than doing it.

Your serve was awful, like you had butter on your hands making the racket slip. You couldn't get any balls inside the lines. With each missed serve, frustration built up inside you, making it harder to rally and cheer yourself up.

As the match dragged on, you were piling up unforced errors, practically handing points to your opponent with every shot. You needed to pull yourself together before Feya completely wrecked your game.

"Focus Y/n," you muttered, adjusting your visor, sweat dripping from your forehead more from nerves than from running around. You took a deep breath, trying to channel all your frustration into your wrist as you prepared to hit the ball. Unfortunately, your swing lacked precision, and the ball ended up hitting the net.

The game was now at 40-15 to Feya. One more mistake and she would go up 4-2. You hadn't won a single game since the rain delay. Right now, you just needed to get the ball over the net, just that one simple task first. Trying to stay calm, you managed a clean serve. Luckily, Feya returned it weakly, and you seized the opportunity, smashing the ball with all your strength, aiming for the line.

The ball landed just behind Feya, and you heard the crowd cheering, but there was no time to celebrate as Feya immediately challenged the call.

"The ball never touched the line!" she argued with the umpire. Your stomach knotted up as you watched the exchange.

You knew she was right a minute later. 

“Game, Feya,” the umpire said into the mic, giving the point to your opponent. Feya was already celebrating, waving to the crowd.

You felt the weight of the match pressing down on you. It was a tough blow, but you couldn't let it break your spirit. You had to regroup and fight back.

Hearing the crowd go wild for Feya was overwhelming. Every cheer and clap made you feel smaller and smaller on the court. The cheers that used to lift you up now felt like they were weighing you down.

You glanced over at Lucas, hoping for some reassurance, but his face was as blank as ever, trying hard not to show any concern. Hesitating, you looked towards Leah, just a couple of seats to the right. She gave you a small thumbs up and a faint smile, a quiet gesture that seemed to offer a bit of calm.

“Come on!” Feya shouted after nailing another winning shot. Her excitement felt like a stark contrast to your growing despair.

When you went back to your chair, you took a sip of water and tried to calm your breathing. Leah’s words kept running through your head. 

“You’re in control”

But right now, it felt like that control was slipping through your fingers.

“Come on, breathe,” you muttered to yourself, but it felt like the air was stuck in your lungs. You shut your eyes and clenched your fists, feeling the sweat and frustration mix on your palms.

When you got back to the court, it was like your body was on autopilot. Every swing felt off, and your movements were sluggish. Your opponent was all over you, dragging you from corner to corner, wearing you down physically and mentally.

By the last game of the second set, you weren’t even trying to win points anymore. You just wanted it to be over. You promised yourself you’d pull it together and make a comeback in the third set.

You sank into the chair again, trying to catch your breath and calm your racing thoughts. Taking a long sip of water, you glanced around. The sky was finally starting to clear, with the sun making a slow comeback behind the clouds. A gentle breeze brushed against your face, and you shut your eyes for a moment, trying to recapture the focus that had slipped away.

Man, if only the weather had been like this all day. Leah was right, you’d need some time to really appreciate this place, but you were willing to give it a shot, just for her. You daydreamed about hanging out with her, going for a lazy walk, or just chilling at her place,  breathing in her scent and running your fingers through her hair. If only you could wrap up this match and get to enjoy those moments, where you could kiss her, let her hug you, and hear all those cheesy lines of hers that make your heart flutter.

But first, you had to win this. You didn’t want Leah to have to comfort you; you wanted her to celebrate your victory and be proud to be with someone who had accomplished something great. You were determined to give her that.

The umpire called you and Feya back onto the court for the start of the third set. You knew you needed to grab an early lead to turn things around. Feya was looking pretty cocky, flashing a grin that made it seem like she was reading your every move. But you couldn’t let that get to you. It was all about focusing on each point.

You took your spot on the baseline, mentally gearing up for battle. The umpire's voice cut through the tension, announcing the start of the final set.

Feya served first, and the ball came toward you with impressive speed. But you were ready for it this time. It was the same serve you’d seen throughout the previous set. You sprang into action, positioning yourself for a powerful forehand return. You whipped the ball with a deep, precise cross court backhand, the kind you’d been perfecting ever since Leah had pointed out how well you were executing that shot in some or your previous dates. Feya managed a weak return, and you seized the opportunity, charging forward and smashing the ball into the opposite corner. Feya was left scrambling halfway down the court.

0-15

You felt a burst of confidence. You looked over at Leah and for the first time in the match, flashed her a big, genuine smile. It was like a switch had flipped, and you were right back in your element.

The next point turned up the heat even more.  Feya tried a serve and volley move, but you were quick on your feet. You lunged forward and nailed a backhand volley that just skimmed the net, landing right on the baseline. Feya had no chance of reaching it.

0-30

You could see Feya starting to lose her cool. She was slipping back to the nervous player from the first set, just like you were getting back into your game. Realizing she needed a new strategy, she started hitting higher and deeper shots to mess with you, but you stayed calm and took your time to set up your shots.

In one of the rallies, you spotted your chance. Feya sent up a short, high ball. You smacked a topspin drive that landed perfectly in the corner of the court.

court.

0-40

The game was slipping into your control. With every point you won, your confidence surged back. You knew you had to keep up this level of play. You took your position to receive the next serve, focused and ready. Feya tried an open serve, but you anticipated it perfectly, firing back with a powerful cross court shot. After a few intense exchanges, you decided to end it, pushing Feya into a tough spot. With a decisive forehand, you wrapped up the game.

“Game, Y/n” the umpire called out.

You celebrated with a big grin, clapping your hands together, just like Feya had done earlier.

“Williamson,” Lucas’s voice made Leah jump. She turned to find him with a serious look on his face. “What did you do to her?”

“Huh?” Leah was confused.

“Whatever it is, keep it up. My girl’s on fire.” Lucas said with a huge smile, almost with a hint of pride.

“I didn’t do anything, sir,” Leah tried to explain, as she watched you return to your spot after the break.

You had a serious look on your face, eyes focused straight ahead. Leah swallowed hard. You were a whole different player now compared to the previous set. Back then, she’d seen your hands shaking. Now, you were celebrating each point with passion, flashing her big smiles and winks after every great shot. Leah couldn’t help but think you were dedicating those moments to her, and she wasn’t wrong. 

All Leah wanted now was a cold shower, and if she could share it with you, even better.

The score was 2-5 in the final set, and it was your turn to serve. The whole court felt electric, with everyone hanging on every move, knowing this moment could be the game changer. Leah sighed deeply, watching as you neared the end of what had been one of your toughest matches.

You stood at the baseline, gripping your racket tightly, trying to calm the nerves buzzing inside you. You were determined to finish this match on a high note. You took a deep breath, focusing on the task at hand, knowing that you could turn things around with the right mindset.

You tossed the ball into the air and served it with precision and power, landing right in the corner of the service box. Your opponent barely managed to get her racket on it, sending back a high, weak shot. You moved in quickly, taking full advantage and smacking a winning volley that left no chance for a return.

0-15

The next point was a real battle. You and Feya were just slamming shots back and forth from the baseline, moving side to side all over the court. Then, you broke the pattern with a killer cross court backhand that pushed your opponent into a corner. Desperate, she tried a smash, but it went wide.

“Out!”

0-30. You were almost there. 

The crowd was now buzzing with excitement, sensing the win was within reach. You took a deep breath and got ready for your next serve. This time, you went for a powerful serve to the corner. The ball shot off your racket and bounced before Feya could even react.

“Ace!”

You were on match point.

The court fell silent after a second, everyone waiting for you to close it out. This was your moment, the chance to turn things around and give the crowd something to cheer about after the previous set. With a grin, you adjusted your visor and shot Leah a playful look as you tightened your gold chain. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you hoped she did too.

You tossed the ball up again, locking in on it. Your serve was fast and right on target, aimed at the T. Your opponent reached for it, but the ball zoomed past her, landing perfectly in the corner.

“Ace!”

“Game, set, match,” the umpire announced.

You raised your arms up as the crowd went wild.

After all the interviews, press conferences, and autograph signings, you finally had time for Leah. You spotted her, she was chatting with Jane, and without a second thought, you sprinted over to her, not caring about the hours your legs spent on the court before. You jumped into her arms, knowing Leah would catch you, no matter what.

“Careful, darling!” she laughed, catching you with just one arm around your waist. You were drenched in sweat and out of breath, but Leah didn't seem to mind at all. “How do you feel?” she whispered in your ear. 

“Like I’m the best tennis player in the world,” you said with a cheeky grin.

“Hm, you might not be feeling that great tomorrow,” Jane said with a roll of her eyes, giving you a friendly shove to get you off Leah. “Let the poor girl breathe, she was on edge the whole game, and her legs must be killing her now.” she added, grabbing your bag and heading off, leaving you alone with Leah.

After you two were alone, you noticed Leah was carrying a huge bag and that’s why she’d only used one arm to hold you. “What’s in the bag?” you asked

“Oh, um… ” Leah’s face went red as she scratched the back of her neck. “Well, I had a lot of free time during the rain delay and... I was a bit nervous too, so I ended up going to the Wimbledon store.”

Before Leah could react, you snatched the bag from her hand.

“Damn, Leah,” you said, trying to hide your laugh by covering your mouth with your hand. “What the heck, did you bring the whole store?”

“Hey, I didn’t get to shop last year, and I needed some stuff,” she said, cringing as you started pulling things out of the bag. A lot of keychains, strawberry-shaped ones, little tennis rackets, and balls. “How many keys do you have that you need this many keychains?” you teased.

“Some of them are for gifts,” Leah said, quickly snatching them from your hands.

You reached in again and pulled out a huge green blanket. “What’s this for?”

“I was freezing! Unlike you, I was standing around and it was cold!” Leah said, her eyes wide as she almost panicked.

“Please tell me you didn’t get the Wimbledon socks,” you said, barely whispering, but Leah’s guilty look said it all.

“Don’t look at me like that! They’re absolutely my style!” Leah shot back, looking offended. “I can definitely pull them off!”

You thought about it for a second... Yeah, Leah had this way of rocking whatever she wore.

"Alright, you’ve got a point there, babe,” you said with a bit of a chuckle, feeling a bit defeated.

"Thanks," Leah replied, her smile warming up as she heard the nickname. “And I got one more thing,” she said, getting serious as she grabbed the bag and pulled out a giant tennis ball. “Here,” she said, handing it to you.

“What do you expect me to do with this?” you asked, eyeing the ball, it was one of those that kids get autographed all the time. “Leah, are you for real?”

Leah didn't say a word at first. Instead, she walked over to you and gently placed both hands on your waist. Leaning in close, she whispered, “What do I need to do to get my favorite tennis player’s autograph?” She gave you a quick, sweet kiss on the tip of your nose. “Is that enough?”

“I’ll think about it,” you murmured, almost lost in the sensation of her breath brushing against yours.

Leah shook her head with a playful smile and cupped the back of your neck, guiding you into a deep, tender kiss. 

“Congratulations on making it through the round,” she murmured between kisses, her voice filled with warmth and pride. Your smile widened as you let the joy of her affection wash over you.

“Maybe you are a lucky charm” you whispered. 

[witchthewriter]

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐊𝐨̈𝐧𝐢𝐠

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

a/n: not a poly relationship - I just decided to have them both in one post. Let me know if you want more xx Also I went through the tags for these guys and there is nothing but SMUT. So I wanted some sweet sfw headcanons for the boys

Warnings: swearing, nsfw included (no one under 18 please).

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

INTJ

Ravenclaw

Neutral Good

Scorpio Sun, Capricorn Moon, Virgo Rising

𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲/𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭

・This man is fucking dangerous behind the wheel. And although he is a hot-head occasionally, it isn't when he's driving.

・Simon knows he's shit, so when people honk at him, give him the finger - he just stone-faces it. Let's them berate him because really, he doesn't fucking care.

・However he has lost his licence a few times ... and so you told him he could be your &lt;3 passenger princess <3

・Simon wasn't amused ...

・Very much the protective type, verging on possessive. Not in an abusive way, but he wants everyone to know that you're his. So when anyone flirts with you - or even when they're a little too nice, his jealousy consumes him.

・Scary dog privledges, with and without the mask. This man is intimidating as fuck.

・6'4, wide shoulders and big hands, so it doesn't matter how you look, how tall you are etc - Simon is bigger, taller and stronger.

・Yes he can be a hardass, but when he loves someone, that roughness is somewhat smoothened out. He'd hate to hurt your feelings.

・He only wears his mask to hide his identity; he takes it off when missions are done.

・And when he's home, he rarely wears it.

・Absolutely HATES being jump-scared. And his reflexes take over (you've learnt from the first and last time)

・This goes with random kisses as well, sometimes you just have to make yourself known before touching Simon

・He isn't huge into PDA, but when outside he will gladly hold your hand, bump his shoulder into yours when you make a crappy dad joke.

・The biggest misconception is that he's cold. Well, at work - obviously he is. But at home, with you, he has so much warmth. A lot of life.

・He has great banter. Absolutely has both of you laughing your asses off.

・Calls you "love," "sweetheart," (all in his gruff, chiselled brit accent). And when you're alone, he calls you names like "my love," "hun," "sweet cheeks."

・You're slowly learning about Simon's past, which he shares little by little.

・Too much information and he's scared you might feel overwhelmed and leave him

・There's some deep trauma there, but the army has therapists and everyone gets checked out before they're deemed mentally healthy enough.

・He does want kids, but only after he's done with the military. He would hate to be an absent father in any way. And he wouldn't want you to have that full responsibility.

・A lot of people characterise him as this traumatised man who can barely look after himself. But that is far, faaaaar from the truth. He's very competent. And he eats a LOT. But he also works out (to keep in shape, he actually hates the gym) (also he doesn't expect you to do anything of that stuff. He loves you for you.)

・I also have this headcanon that Ghost/Riley would love Metallica, Slipknot, Black Sabbath etc. It's one of the things that calm him down. However, if he's had an overwhelming day, he needs no noise whatsoever.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Teases Them (You) x About To End Them (Ghost)

The Moon and His Star

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Opposites Attract

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Say Yes To Heaven by Lana Del Rey

Arsonist's Lullabye by Hozier

Enter Sandman by Metallica

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞 No one under the age of 18 past this point, I bloody mean it. 

・There's almost like two sides of your s/o. The Ghost side, where the mask stays on, and he's rough, possessive, dominant. And then the Simon side, where he likes soft touches and when you gently stroke his face

・You've both discovered that Simon likes it when you wear his mask, gloves - nothing else - and touch yourself.

・Even with your cum juices on the mask, and gloves, he'll still wear them to work.

・It's the only kinky thing he brings with him while on deployment. You did want to take a naked polaroid for him but he didn't trust the other guys not to somehow see it.

・He likes keeping you as separate from army life as much as possible. Because you feel like home, and it gives him hope.

・Ghost loves taming your bratty side. He's short, demanding and can shut you up with one look.

"Keep on actin' like that, and see what happens."

・Of course you keep acting up, and when you get home, you pay for it tenfold.

・Ghost's hands are as big as a paddle, and when he has you over his knee, ass up in the air. He doesn't hesitate in leaving red marks (all consensual. He wouldn't do anything without having a conversation before hand).

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

ISTP

Hufflepuff

Chaotic Good

Aries Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Rising

𝐊𝐨̈𝐧𝐢𝐠

・A 6'10 king, who suffers from social anxiety but has this soft, silly side that he loves showing you and only you (I will take no criticisms on his height. It is LAW. My law.)

・Because of his anxiety, social aspects of life are much harder than work. He's highly skilled in combat, and has a lot of confidence in his abilities to accomplish missions.

・However, when you tried to speak to him, all he could do was stutter.

・You allowed him to get the words out, but he was an absolute mess afterwards and went to go train.

・But this didn't deter you in the slightest. Hell, you had been trying to muster the courage to speak to him for weeks...

・It took a while for Konig to open up about his past, especially his adolescence.

・He's told you the jist of it, but there's details that you don't push him on.

・One of your favourite pastimes together is going to bakeries and eating the most delicious pastries.

・When you're feeling down, or there's something to celebrate, there's no cake but pastries instead

・Doesn't mind animals, but understands that when he's away you will get a bit lonely. So you surprised him by getting a pair of kittens!

・You showed him over video chat, one white kitten and one black.

"I haven't chosen names for them yet, but I thought maybe you could have some input?"

"Schatz! The kittens are cute but you have scratch marks all over your arms!"

"They're very playful!" And then you leant closer to the camera and whispered, "I leave scratches on your back ..." And with an innocent look on your face, you watched as Konig shivered.

・Likes to put you on his lap when he's cleaning weapons, or getting the marks out of his mask or shoes. Okay honestly, he just wants you on his lap all the time. Whatever excuse he can come up with - he'll goddamn use it

・Absolutely loves Kate Bush and Stevie Nicks. He thinks they have such a beautiful sound that you can find him with headphones on, swaying in the bedroom, silently in his feels

・All your pet names are in Austrian/German:

"Schatz", meaning 'treasure'.

"Maus," meaning 'mouse.'

"Liebling" meaning 'darling.'

"Hase" meaning 'bunny'.

"Liebe" meaning 'love.'

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Always Bringing Them Rocks They Think They Would Like (You) x Keeps The Rocks (Konig)

The Gomez & Morticia Adams

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing But At Least I’m Alive, Right? (You) x You’re Doing Great, Sweetie (Konig)

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Hidden Identity & Forced Proximity

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush

The Chain by Stevie Nicks

Dance of the Druids by Bear McCreary (he loves movie scores as well. It's one of his fascinations).

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞 No one under the age of 18 past this point, makes me feel weird if you read it.

・Konig is a bit awkward at first with the sexual interactions you guys have. He does have anxiety, but also, the build up of sexual tension had been going on for months.

・All he had during that time was his hands and the memories of how you looked, the way your eyes met his then flicked downward - almost like you had x-ray vision.

・There was no denying the heat.

・So when you first hooked up it was a fumbling mess of grunting, clothes ripping and fast hands trying to touch and grab at any bare piece of flesh.

・You did have a shocking revelation that first time however. Because this man's cock is not only thick, veiny but nearly 9 inches when he's hard.

・That first time wasn't a true first time as the look on your face told Konig everything - you weren't ready for that part of him ... just yet.

・Loves when you ride his thigh; they're absolutely huge. Just muscled and bulky and the first time you saw them (without the uniform) you audibly gasped.

・His body is absolutely divine

・Like it had been sculpted by the gods. Large biceps, long legs, small waist, large shoulders. His hands wrap your neck perfectly.

・You feel so safe with him.

・And you have to remind him that, because sometimes he worries he could hurt you without meaning to.

"I'm a grown up, Konig. I can handle myself."

"So when are you going to let me fuck you?"

"mmm... I think I still have to get used to that. Maybe we can do fingers first..." (his fingers are ... fucking huge).

[klausysworld]

Hi, could you write a reader who’s not dating klaus but is jealous of how close cami has been getting to klaus and decides she is basically going to get klaus first and to prove to cami that he’s hers she plans for cami to walk in while she’s riding him

And I knew that he was mine

It was infuriating seeing them together.

Seeing how she flips her long blonde hair about and as she sits and listens to Klaus talk about his emotions.

Now it took me way too long to get Klaus to open up, and yet he just immediately tells her everything?

We had a much better relationship than him and her. I mean everyone knows it. Even his siblings have asked if we’re dating. Camille is simply a therapist.

However she seems to think a little differently.

To begin with we were civil and we both had our places in his life but then she started getting touchier…flirtatious and affectionate. And her glances at me were directed, she knew what she was doing.

I didn’t like that ugly feeling that bubbled inside me whenever she was near or someone mentioned her but I couldn’t stop it. It began to hurt more and more. I found myself being clingier to Klaus, not that he seemed to mind.

“Are you alright my love? You look upset?” He hummed as he put his hand to my cheek making me lean against it

“I was just thinking…nothing to worry about” i murmured as i nuzzled his hand

“Well since you have so much to think about perhaps you should sleep here? We have more than enough room, would you stay the night?”

And on what planet would I say no?

I was more than happy to agree, know I’m that Camille had yet to sleep at the Mikaelsons house. It was stupid of me to make everything about that but it was all i could think of.

I hadn’t have thought i could love someone the way I do Klaus and yet now I am fighting to prove he is mine even though he is not.

I craved him, his eyes on me, his hands on me, his words to me.

I would blush and smile, laugh and lean towards him but it wasn’t enough. She was still coming around.

Even when he started opening up to me, she was still his go to.

It was disheartening.

I found myself upset over it far too often, overthinking it and making myself cry. Accidentally in front of him once when he started talking about how great of a friend she was

“My love…what’s happened? Did i say something?” His arms were around me in an instant, his warmth surrounding me

“No I- I’m sorry i was just-“

“Thinking? Love, what’s going on inside your head?” He would ask softly, his hand holding the back of my head gently as I snuggled into him

“I don’t know” i whispered because it was just as confusing for me too.

“You know that I care for you my love, yes? I want you to be happy” he told me

“You make me happy” I mumbled

“And you make me happy too sweetheart”

He often held me rather close to him. There were even occasions when we fell asleep together, me in his lap or lead against his chest with his arms tightly around me so I wouldn’t leave him. Id even been in his bed a few times after lounging with him, waking up with his body pressed to mine, mine tucked to his perfectly.

Being with him so much was addicting, I never wanted to leave him.

So when I walked into his artroom to see him and Camille studying one of his drawings I felt my heart ache. Why did still need her?

I needed a way to make her leave him alone. To tell her once and for all that he was just mine.

It was much easier than I had thought. I had learnt that on the occasion he did see her it was a Tuesday afternoon.

So I made sure to get there late morning to see him.

His surprise was clear on his face but he also looked rather pleased.

“My love…did I miss your call?” He asked as he quickly approached me and kissed my cheek

“No i didn’t call, sorry, i just dropped by…are you busy?” I asked looking up at him through my lashes

“Of course not love, I’m never too busy for you. What were you thinking of doing today?” He murmured taking my hand

“Well…I thought maybe you could paint me? You’ve asked to before but we didn’t have time and well I don’t have much to do” i said with a smile seeing his face light up

“Oh what a wonderful idea, come my love, we will set it all up”

And he painted me over the next few hours. He had gone as far as unbuttoning my blouse to reveal my lace bra beneath- “your body is too beautiful to not add” he murmurs as his fingers skimmed my breasts and he opened the shirt with a lick of his lips.

I was already in little denim shorts so my legs were smooth and ready. He seemed to appreciate that as his hands glided over them “you are the perfect muse” he told me as he held the back of my knee gently and bent my leg as much as he thought necessary.

Once he had finished and showed me…well the room was a lot more tense.

I was basically stood in my underwear with how small my shorts were and my top was barely even on.

I was stood right infront of him, my eyes his art and his on me. His hands on my hips as his hot breath hit my neck

“Do you like it my love?” He asked, his voice much lower, deeper

“I love it” I whispered, reaching my hand out to trace it only for him to grab it and bring it back to his chest making me turn around to face him

“It’s wet” he murmured making me blush and nod my head

“Sorry”

“Nonsense…It’s only natural to want to touch” he uttered, i let out a little breath as i looked up at him. His hand cupped my face again as his adams-apple bobbed in his throat. His thumb traced my lips making me part them, letting his thumb into my mouth slightly and wrapping my lips back around it. I watched his eyes darken as I sucked it lightly, his hand pushed the back of my head as he let out a small groan

“That’s it love” he murmured, I let my eyes shut as I let out a whimper to stir him on. A quiet growl left his throat as he pulled his hand away and licked it clean himself, groaning again at my saliva.

His hand still held my head, pulling me straight to him to have our lips moving together.

I moaned into his mouth as his other hand wrapped around my waist to keep me to him. I smiled into the kiss and I could feel him doing the same. He pulled away shortly before coming back with wet open mouthed kisses to my mouth.

His hands pushed the blouse entirely off of me, his hands slipping up my back and to my bra and unclipping it. I let it fall off my arms to the ground between us, sighing as his hands and forearms covered my back. My bare breasts pressed to his clothed chest as he pushed me against the wall of his artroom. He pulled away after repeatedly kissing my lips, only the sounds of our mouths meeting each others bouncing off of the walls. He looked down at me with near black eyes, glancing between my lips and my exposed breasts. My face immediately flushed as i cleared my throat and moved my hands to cover myself

“No- no let me see” he muttered his hands grabbed mine, the exposure had my heart racing…embarrassment crawling up me because what if this was just a quick fuck for him?

I looked back to him, his hands held my breasts tenderly as his brows furrowed

“Klaus…” I muttered unsurely and his eyes quickly darted to mine. I was beginning to doubt my plan, what if it was awkward after? What if I was leading him straight to Cami?

“My love?” His hand was back on my face making me snap back to reality

“Yeah?” I whispered

“Do you want me to stop?”

I blinked at him “I- I don’t know” his face softened as he kissed my forehead

“You know i wouldn’t hurt you” he muttered, his hands brushing the hair out of my face

“I just…What does this mean?” I asked quietly and he smiled a little

“It means you’re mine” he stated, his lips pressed to mine lightly before i pulled away

“And you’re mine?” I questioned

“Of course, who else could I ever want?” He asked, his lips on mine again after, his hands moving down my back. “We don’t have to do anything else…I just want to kiss you” he murmured, pushing me against the wall again. I opened my legs enough to let his knee move between them, i let out a breath into his open mouth as my damp panties rubbed against my denim shorts with rubbed against his thigh. I looked up at him to see his eyes near gold as he watched my body grind against him. His eyes stayed there even after I tugged his henley off my hands explored his body.

Only when I let out a loud moan as the pleasure began to burn pleasurably did he look at my face. His hand moved to my ass and held me still making me let out a grunt and a sigh

“There is no possible way that the first orgasm of our relationship is going to be without me inside you” he murmured as he lifted me, my legs clinging to him

“Where are we going?” I asked as he headed towards the door

“My bed of course” he answered is a slightly questioning tone

“I want to do it here” i whispered and he rose a brow

“In my art room?”

“You can paint me after” i breathed, my lips just below his ear as i kissed the spot afterwards to send a shiver down his spine

“Oh” he uttered as i sucked his neck, his breathing a little heavier as I rolled my hips to his again.

I way put onto a large leather couch, his hands tearing my shorts from my body as he kicked his pants off.

“Here it is” he growled as he kissed down the valley of my breasts to my lower stomach. His tongue darted out quickly to touch the hood of my clit, the unexpectedly heat made my hips buck as a breathy moan spill from my mouth. He let out a long groan as he brought his face between my legs and gave a long lick

“Oh god” I whined, his tongue was hot and fast as it lapped, his hands rubbing along my thighs but not stopping my hips from thrusting upward. “Fuck Klaus you have to stop” I panted making him pull away and hover back over me

“Why?” He asked nearly panting himself

“Because I won’t be able to stop myself cumming and I also want you inside me for the first one” I murmured, my hand pulled him down by the back of his neck as he let out an animalistic sound.

“I want a taste after though” he whispered as his mouth pressed to mine making me moan, my legs wrapped tightly around him trying to pull him down

“Please Klaus” I begged and he hummed lowly. He looked between us as i felt his tip slide along and between my folds, my teeth sunk onto my lower lip. One hand held himself up and the other guided his cock. He played at my entrance for a moment, just pushing the head in and out a few times, i was propped up on my elbows watching with anticipation. His face was pulled into one of concentration as he slowly pushed further inside.

My mouth fell open as he just kept filling me, and when i felt full, I look back down to see part of him still outside of me. My walls strained to his size as I clenched around him, almost trying to push him out.

“You alright love?” He asked and i nodded

“Fuck…how…”

He let out a laugh at my reply before slowly drawing his hips back, pain coursed through me as my walls nearly convulsed. He pushed back in with a grunt

“God” he breathed as he looked at me, our eyes locking as his eyes lusted over further.

“Keep going” I muttered with a nod and he did so without question, his body moving away and toward mine a few more times, the pain slipping into pleasure the more he did so.

I could hear just how wet he had made me as he slowly thrust his hips, and when I looked between us again I found barely any of him was left out.

“Can I go faster?��� He asked, his hands now either side of me as his hips rolled. I nodded

“Yeah…yeah go faster” I moaned between words feeling him everywhere. He did so soon enough, moving back and worth quicker by each thrust.

My lower abdomen tightened as he brushed past my spot, his hand gripped the arm of the couch above my head as he grunted. I could hear his skin meet mine as he fucked faster, much faster. He let out a throaty moan the more he went on, my body squeezed him tightly as my nails dug into the leather cushions

I distantly heard a door close making me look up at Klaus but he was lost in his state of pleasure, his eyes barely focusing on my face as he pounded into me roughly. I brought my hand up and pulled him down by his neck, his lips back on mine and his hand leaving the arm of the chair to cup my cheek giving me the leverage I needed to roll on top of him.

He grunted into my moan as I rode him, my thighs still tight around his hips as I moved up and down him. I pulled away with a drawn out moan, my hands moving to his chest to keep me up as my hips fucked his.

I panted as he moaned my name, his arm circled my waist pulling my closer, out skin slapping together as he thrust upward to meet my movements. I heard footsteps making me attach my lips back to his hastily, not that he seemed to mind as he groaned as kissed back hungrily.

The door made a quiet ‘creek’ making my eyes open and glance to see a very shocked Camille. I smiled into the kiss as my hips bucked faster, forcing a moaned version of my name to leave him again as i pulled away from the kiss and bounced along him as quick as i could.

I watched her run off with her hand over her mouth and her eyes full of hateful tears.

I looked down at him to see him looking incredibly messy in the hottest of ways. His hair was a state, lips swollen and a smudge of my lipstick coming from the corner, his eyes were like the darkest of storms and he breathed my name like a prayer.

The sight alone could’ve made me cum, let alone him being deep inside me and fucking my spot perfectly with his fingers gliding over my clit rhythmically. I felt myself let go around him, a silent scream leaving my lips as I fucked him through his release, his ropes of cum filling me beyond capacity and covering both of our legs.

I practically collapsed on top of him and he was quick to hug me to him. Both of us panting as we breathed shared air between us. Our bodies were covered in a thin layer of sweat as his hot breath fanned over my face, his hand tucking my surely unruly hair behind my ear before kissing my lips gently

“You have- no idea- how much- I needed that” he panted, i lead my head down on his boiling chest as I attempted to steady my breathing. “Believe me, when i tell you that i love you” he whispered and I subconsciously tightened around him, his hand fisting my hair in a response. “And by that- I assume you do to?” He asked and i nodded

“Always” i uttered

“And forever” he finished, his hand still detangling my hair. And I knew that he was mine

(Was sat watching the Kings coronation while writing this yesterday 😭)

[engie-ivy]

(Short fic of Remus being a disaster😋 for @wolfstarmicrofic)

2nd: Rogue

Remus only dates so-called 'bad boys', because he isn't interested in falling in love, but also doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and with those types, he doesn't have to worry about either. When he goes on a date with Sirius Black, however, Remus quickly realizes he's made a huge error of judgment.

Wasn't Looking For This

“You need help,” Mary states as she’s scrolling through Remus’ Tinder matches.

“Don’t you dare start swiping for me!” Remus warns.

Mary shakes her head. “No, I mean like professional help. Have you considered talking to someone?”

“Please.” Remus plucks his phone from her hands. “I don’t see any use in paying a ton of money to have some therapist psychoanalyse how my dating life is problematic.”

“I agree,” Lily says, sprawled out on the couch flipping through a magazine. “You don’t need to be a licensed therapist to psychoanalyse what’s wrong with your dating life. Instability during your childhood that lead to an insecure attachment style, causing you to develop a great fear of commitment, and resulting in you only dating men you know you’ll have no risk of falling in love with. Men I would describe as rogue bad boys. Overconfident, narcissistic, inconsiderate, too full of themselves to care about anybody else’s feelings. Men who definitely aren’t looking for an emotional connection, so you don’t have to worry about not only you getting feelings for them, but also them getting feelings for you.”

Remus glares at her. “Rude.”

Mary sighs. “So, is tonight’s guy a rogue, self-centred bad boy with too much confidence?”

“We actually haven’t spoken much,” Remus admits. “But he definitely has the right vibe. He was wearing a leather jacket in the bar, everyone was throwing themselves at him, but he hardly seemed to care, and he had this haughty air about him. Plus, the reason we didn’t talk much is because he had his tongue in my mouth five minutes after saying hello.” He grins. “So I’m hopeful.”

Lily rolls her eyes. “You’re an absolute disaster.”

Remus gets to his feet and presses a kiss to Lily’s cheek. “Love you too, Lils.” He turns to the girls before going out the door. “Don’t wait up,” he says with a wink.

Lily groans and Mary shakes her head. “You have issues.”

Remus made a huge mistake.

He realizes this immediately as he wakes up in a bed that is most definitely not his. He’s relieved that Sirius isn’t there, which gives him some time to think.

Yesterday, Sirius had taken him out for dinner at a nice restaurant. Afterwards, some drinks and a lovely stroll through the city at night-time and its beautiful city lights, ending at the front door of Sirius’ apartment.

Sirius had been charming and funny, and sure, that happens sometimes. With his habit of dating vain bad boys, Remus isn’t surprised anymore at how charming they can be when they want to. But then Sirius had also been kind and caring and actually interested in what Remus had to say, and that most definitely wasn’t what he signed up for!

Sirius had been a true gentleman, holding out Remus’ chair as they got to their table. He had smiled at Remus with a smile that was so much brighter than Remus remembered from the badly lit bar after a couple of drinks. As soon as they sat down, Sirius had said that his resting face was often interpreted as haughty, and how that ‘so not was who he was’, and that he was glad Remus wanted to give him a chance anyway.

Remus had wanted to scream.

In hindsight, he should’ve fled right there and then. But no, he had stayed. And of course Sirius had offered to share a dessert and then let Remus eat all of it, of course he had insisted that he’d pay for dinner, of course he had asked ‘is the okay?’ when he took Remus’ hand in his as they were walking side by side.

And if that hadn’t been bad enough, it turned out Sirius loves animals. He had shown Remus pictures of his dog, beaming with fondness as he told Remus about her.

The cherry on top of this miserable pie that Remus definitely didn’t order, was that Sirius is a doctor. A bloody doctor. He works in the ER and he loves his job, because ‘it’s just so rewarding’.

When he had gently pulled Remus close and kissed him under a streetlight, Remus’ stomach did this fluttering thing.

It was awful.

Remus gets out of bed and starts putting on his clothes. He’ll shower at home. Right now, he needs to get out of here. He should’ve left yesterday, he shouldn’t have stayed the night. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone home with Sirius in the first place, but he just can’t bring himself to regret that, because holy shite. He’s only human, after all.

He’ll do the awkward goodbye, where Sirius might mutter something about breakfast and maybe having some yoghurt left in the fridge, which Remus will politely decline. He’ll leave and forget all about this. Forget that guys exist who are actually interested in what he has to say, forget that guys exist who look at him like he’s actually worth something, forget that guys exist who can make him feel like he’s actually worth something. Forget that Sirius Black exists.

As he enters the living room, though, he stops in his tracks at the dreadful sight in front of him.

The table is set, and Sirius is in the kitchen, wearing only his boxers and a t-shirt, his hair haphazardly tied in a messy bun, baking what appear to be pancakes. Sirius turns around and smiles at him, and Remus is floored by how he can look even more gorgeous like this then he did yesterday in his dress shirt and suit jacket. His stomach does that weird fluttery thing again, and Remus hopes against his better judgment that it’s due to yesterday’s wine.

“You’re awake, good,” Sirius says. “Since you told me yesterday how you have quite the sweet tooth, I couldn’t let you go without trying Potters’ Perfect Pancakes! Recipe from my chosen mother Effie, and I’m not even overselling when I tell you that they’re the best thing you’ll ever taste. Come, sit!”

Remus’ brain is shouting at him. Run! Get out! Just leave! But Remus’ body moves to the chair, sits down and starts buttering a bloody pancake.

It’s like watching a car speed towards a wall, knowing it’s going to crash, but there being nothing he can do about it.

His feeling of impending doom are interrupted by his first bite of pancake. It’s fluffy, and chewy, and gooey, and smooth, and creamy, and everything in one. “Oh my god,” he says.

Sirius is leaning forward in his chair, looking at Remus with an eager smile, his face brimming with excitement, his eyes sparkling. Remus can’t help but think that he’ll do anything to see Sirius smile like that. “It’s good, innit? I wasn’t exaggerating?”

“Really good,” Remus confirms. “And you definitely weren’t.”

As Remus digs in, Sirius places a mug of tea in front of him. Remus takes a sip, and it’s exactly the way he likes it. A warmth spreads through his body, that has nothing to do with the tea itself.

Then a beautiful girl walks into the kitchen. She has shiny black curls and she’s happily wagging her tail as she barks at Sirius.

“There she is!” Sirius drops to his knees and starts scratching her ears. “You were a little sleepy head, weren’t you? Yes, you were. Yes, you were. Who’s a good girl?” Sirius coos, as his dog starts wagging her tail even more and tries to lick his face.

And that’s just it for Remus.

The car has crashed. There’s nothing for it anymore. He’s done for.

The car has crashed, and all Remus can do now is hope that he’ll make it through in one piece.

Well, at least he has a doctor with him.

[melodygatesauthor]

My Special Girl

Jake Lockley X Sex Worker f!Reader

Not Beta Read - Requested by @whatthefishh

Kinks - Blowjobs + Brothel

Summary

Once a week every week like clockwork, Jake Lockley goes to the same brothel to see the same girl, every single time.

Tags/Warnings

NSFW, reader is a sex worker, blowjob, oral sex (m receiving), cum eating

Word Count: 779

----

You didn’t know what he did on the nights he wasn’t with you. You didn’t know who’d broken his nose for the second - or was it the third? - time in a six month span. You didn’t even know if Jake Lockley was his real name, or if that was just an alias he gave you, but what you did know is that he was the only client of yours that looked at you like that.

He would walk in like a man who had worked a long day and was waiting for his pretty little wife to greet him at the door, taking off his hat and coat, tossing them aside. You’d greet him like that too, as though he were the only man you cared about. If you were being honest with yourself…he just might be the only man you truly cared about. You wanted to make him happy, you liked to please him.

“Hola bebita,” he said in a low, dark tone, devouring your mouth with his like a man starved the moment he got his hands on you.

His hands were always wandering, fingertips brushing over every inch of your skin like he wanted to relish the moment. He only had an hour, a fact that you reminded him of often when he sometimes spent too long in your room, but he didn’t care. He wanted to be with you. Some nights he didn’t even want to fuck you; he just wanted someone to hold him and run their fingers through his dark locks while he told them about his problems.

“Why don’t you see a therapist?” You’d suggested once.

“I’ve got you, what do I need some doctor for?” He’d given you a playful smile. “You could play doctor for me if you want to, sweetheart.”

On this night though, you were enjoying his body. You knew it well; the toned muscle hidden underneath the soft top layer of his abdomen; the way he would always, without fail, moan when you kissed him when you were on top. Then there was the way he would choke on his words the second your fingertips brushed over his boxer-briefs that already had a precum-soaked spot on the cloth.

He loved looking at you while you sucked his cock like a master of your craft. Your head would bob down, taking all of him with ease before coming back up and jerking him with the coating of slick spit your pretty mouth left behind. He asked you on several occasions to wear red lipstick when you did this, he liked seeing the mess it left behind on his cock and his thighs. Sometimes he would even stop you mid session and ask you to reapply.

You loved sucking Jake’s cock. It tasted better than the others, and felt better in your mouth. The heavy weight of it slid over your tongue, inciting a moan from his chest with every pass. He always looked at you, watching you with his bottom lip tucked under his top teeth except when he was urging you on.

“Mm, si bebita, just like that,” he said, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

He liked to cup the back of your head, not to add pressure, but you thought it might be for the physical connection. Jake liked to touch you every opportunity he got. He even took one of your hands off of his thigh so he could hold it in his while you continued working. You liked the closeness too. Despite sex being the most intimate two humans could be, your profession lacked that special feeling you didn’t have with anyone, other than Jake.

“You’re my special girl, always take good care of me, you know just–fuck–just what I like.”

Those words made you feel a flutter in your gut, a feeling that no one else could give you. When he came, he couldn’t help bucking his hips forward into your throat. His hand would squeeze yours, sometimes his thumb would rub along your knuckles affectionately. He would stop biting his lip and you’d see his mouth go slackjaw, but he wouldn’t ever take his eyes off of you. It’s like he couldn’t really relieve himself unless you were in his sight.

You always swallowed, and he’d always tell you how happy it made him to know he was leaving a piece of himself inside of you. He always kissed you when he left too, just before putting his cap back on his head and tossing his jacket over his shoulders.

“I’ll see you next week amor.”

And like clock work, for that week and every week following, he would be there.

----

I was going to post this later in the week but I know you've been having a rough day bb and I hope it makes it brighter <3 precious bb Mona 🌙✨

Jake Lockley Masterlist

Moon Knight Masterlist

Melody's 1k Celebration Masterlist

[holylulusworld]

Risk it all

Summary: Andy and you are a closed book. Right?

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of former break-up, fluff, a little angst, very implied smut

<< Trustfall

You wake in Andy’s arms, feeling warm and relaxed for the first time in weeks. He insisted on staying the night.

After you didn’t stop crying over your ruined wall paint, your breakup, and life in general, he didn’t want to leave you alone.

“Morning, peanut,” he nuzzles his face in your shoulders and runs his hand over your arm. It’s the first time you feel his hand on your skin without his wedding band. Andy told you he took it off some time ago, but you didn’t dare to look at his hand for too long. “How do you feel?”

“Better. Less…pathetic,” you sniff. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you because of the paint.”

“You’re not pathetic. Y/N, you cried because you were hurt. I hurt you, and you have all the right to be sad, mad, and angry. This is all on me for being too scared to admit I’m deeply in love with someone after I lost my family.”

“Andy,” you whisper his name. “Taking off the ring doesn’t fix things between us. I don’t know where we go from here. You hurt me and left me. Suddenly you came back and gave a house to me. I’m so confused and a little scared.”

“I’m fucking terrified, Y/N,” he’s choking the words out, afraid you don’t believe him. “I don’t want to lose you. All this time without you was hell. I drank too much, didn’t eat and I fucked a case up too.”

“What are we doing here, Andy?” You turn around to look at Andy. He has tears in his eyes when you stroke his bearded cheek. “Andy.” He closes his eyes, afraid to wake from a dream when you press a soft kiss on his lips. “I don’t know what to do.”

He sniffs. “Honestly, it’s the first time I don’t know what to do myself, Y/N. All I know is that I don’t want to live another day without you in my life.”

You run your hand over his cheek, his neck, and down to his arm to grab his hand. Squeezing his hand tightly you sigh. “We are both clueless then.”

He chuckles. “Do you still hate the neon pink kitchen?”

You scrunch up your nose. “It looks ridiculous, not cute as I believed it would. I wanted it to look like the kitchen I saw on a blog. The owner painted the kitchen pink and had cute pink kitchenware.”

“Hmm…I’m not a big fan of pink,” he grins when you give him a stern look. “What? I think every couple therapist tells you the first thing you need to do is be honest with your partner.”

“I hate the house,” you bite your lower lip. “I know you meant well, but the kitchen is a mess, the windows are leaky, and we don’t want to talk about the front yard.”

He laughs at your attitude. “Seriously? You said you love the house.”

“That was before I realized that I’ll be the only person who will fix things in this house will be me. I don’t have a guy around who can lift heavy things and repair the broken window in the bathroom.”

“Peanut, I’m the worst craftsman you can imagine. I won’t be able to repair things,” he grins when you give him a stern look. “I’m good at other things.”

“What other things do you mean, Mr. Barber?” You poke his chest with your index finger. “So far you only showed me that you kiss a girl’s lips instead of her burned finger.”

“I can take very good care of my girl if she lets me,” he presses a kiss on your forehead. “I promise to be less overbearing, peanut.”

“Stop calling me peanut,” you pout. “I’m not that small.”

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

He chuckles. “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” you chuckle. “How about we sleep in today?” You run your hand over his chest. “I’d love to stay in bed for a little longer…”

“I…we should talk. What happened this morning was—” You stop pacing the room to look at Andy. “Sex was a bad idea. I mean…the sex was great, but it doesn’t solve any problem we have.”

“Come here,” Andy holds out his hands to help you sit in his lap. “Relax, you are working yourself up again.”

“Maybe you should’ve bought the house you liked.” You whisper. “You can still sell this house and hopefully get your money back. I’ll stay at my apartment.”

“No.”

“Andy,” you sigh deeply. “I shouldn’t have accepted the house in the first place.”

“What if,” he runs his hand over your back as you get comfortable in his lap, “we sell my apartment and your house. We could buy a new home we both like. A fresh start with a new place to live in for the both of us.”

“A fresh start,” you repeat. “I spared money too, Andy. If we want to buy a house, I want to pay my part.”

“How about you spare your money for the naughty things we want to buy,” he smirks cockily. “Like a sex dungeon.”

“Andy,” you slap his shoulder. “That’s not funny!”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” He quirks a brow and grins. “I’m going to chain you up in the sex dungeon and tease you until you cum all over my face.”

You squirm in his lap. “Sex won’t solve anything, Andy. We need to…” You sigh again. “You know what I mean.”

“I know, Y/N.” He wraps his arms around you. “If want this relationship to work out, we need to talk about a lot of things. I’m willing to try. Maybe we can see a therapist too.”

“I’m willing to try too…”

You will work on your relationship, and even see a therapist over the next months. 

Andy and you decided to wait a little longer before you buy another house. But you moved in with him.

[kouvrse]

thunderstorm.

with an s/o who's afraid of thunder / thunder sounds.

ft. haikyū captains. ( part I. )

warnings : crying , shaking (?) , mentions of thunderstorms / loud sounds, flinching, tell me if i missed anything.

daichi sawamura.

he never knew that you feared thunderstorms, actually. not until you were both cuddling in his room, and it was raining really hard that day.

you were on top of him, resting your head into his chest, silently praying that the rain would go away any sooner. but while you were lost into your thoughts, you the loud crack of the thunderstorms, making you flinch, and cry silently.

daichi felt that there was something wet in his chest, checking up on you to see if you were crying, and turns out you were.

“ hey, it's okay, i'm here. ” daichi says with a calming voice, while rubbing little circles in your back.

“ daichi... ” you mutter.

“ i'm here, love. no need to be scared. ” he said with his typical loving tone.

oikawa tooru.

he was watching dateko and karasuno's match that night, he was watching it with you.

“ woah...that quick of #9 and #10 is crazy... ” you commented.

“ but... they're still no match for you. your serves are literally so violent that if i try to recieve that kind of serve, i feel my arms will break. ” you added, which made tooru chuckle.

“ i know, but when will you stop being so cute? ” you heard oikawa said, while still focused on the match.

“ maybe..if pigs finally fly... ” you replied.

“ oh? but i prefer you always being this cute. ” he says, before placing a soft kiss in your cheeks.

the both of you were so focused on the match, that you didn't even realized it was raining hard.

you were focused on the match, not until the sound of the thunderstorm interrupted you, suddenly making cry.

“ y/n-chan? what happened? ” oikawa asked. the worry in his tone was evident.

“ hey, listen to me. ” oikawa says, holding both of your hands, darting your full attention to him.

“ inhale... exhale... ” he commands. and you do as he says.

he gives you a headpat, “ are you feeling better now? ”

you nod in response, which made oikawa smile.

“ when you hear thunderstorms out of nowhere, and i'm not with you, just do that thing we did recently, 'mkay? ”

“ mhm. ” you said, snuggling closer to him.

kuroo tetsurou.

kuroo knows you have a fear with thunderstorms. he knew it since the both of you were little. whenever you were scared, kuroo was there to help you with your fears. he rubs your back up and down whenever you get scared, exactly what he is dping right now.

“ you're fear in thunder really stayed, huh? ” he says, while gently rubbing your back up and down.

“ it's not my fault that i still get scared when i hear a thunderstorm. it's my body's reaction. ” you said.

“ you know, you don't have to worry, or be scared. i'm always here. if you need someone to talk to. ”

right. kuroo always told you that thing whenever you get scared, or you have some problems.

but sometimes you don't really come running at him whenever you have a problem. you tend to keep it yourself, because you worry that he'd get tired being your therapist. you don't want that, of course.

“ even though sometimes you try to solve your problems by your own. just remember i'm here if you need someone to rant to. ” he added.

“ how'd you know that? ” you asked.

kuroo shrugs, “ i just know it. ”

bokuto koutaro.

bokuto immediately noticed that flinch when you heard the thunder. he knows you're afraid loud sounds, especially the sound of thunder, since your ears are very sensitive when it comes to loud sounds.

“ hey, are you okay? do you want me to make your favorite drink so you can calm down? ” bokuto offers.

you nod, “ y-yeah, i guess that'll help. ”

“ alright. stay here okay? i'll be back. ” bokuto says, before going downstairs.

after a few minutes, you saw bokuto with your favorite drink. oh how you loved it when he does little things like this.

“ here, ” bokuto offers. you took the drink from him, and took a sip,

“ thankyou for helping me calm down, kou. you're the best boyfriend ever! i love you so much. ” you said, before placing a kiss on his cheeks.

“ hehe, i love you too. baby owl! ”

© kouvrse — do not steal, copy, and reupload my works in any platform.

[unluckyhoneybee]

The Handsome Artist. 15 (Daniel Ricciardo)

Santa Mónica. Abigail looks for a solution and finds a way to show Danny how much she cares.

MASTERLIST. Moodboard and Playlist.

Previous part: I fucked it.

Note: a long chapter with many scenarios. I hope it's not too messy.

Warning: mentions of a panic attack and a therapy session writen by someone who is definetly not a therapist.

I opened my eyes and headache hitted instantly. "Fuck"

Suddenly, memories flooded and I felt my heart sinking. I sat on the bed and my breath hitched on my throat.

"Hey, hey, hey. I'm here" I don't know where she came from, but Molly hugged me and kissed my head. "You are okay. I'm with you"

I grabbed into her and broke down in sobs. I couldn't remember well what happened. I could barely remember anything of the attack. But I was sure I had fucked up.

"He... He only... Oh fuck... I'm so..."

"Shhh. It's fine. It's fine. I talked to him."

I looked at Molly.

"What?"

She cupped my cheeks and gently cleaned my tears.

"Let's go out, I got breakfast ready. Get something comfy."

I nodded. If it wasn't for her, I would be so lost.

When I went to the kitchen, some flashbacks came. Me sitting on the chair, Daniel trying to hold me...

"Hey. Sit."

I sat next to her and took the cup. No coffee. Chamomile tea. Coffee made it worse.

"What happened?" I whispered. I was so scared and confused.

"Um... Daniel called. You were having a panic attack. So I flew here. It was... It was a proper panic attack, Abi"

I closed my eyes. I hadn't had one in a while. I thought I was better.

"He was panicking too when I came."

"Oh fuck... He must hate me now..."

"He doesn't, trust me. Remember, it also happened to me the first time."

I nodded. It was an awful feeling. This was the last thing I wanted him to see. He was a good man, he shouldn't pay for what others did to me.

"Abigail, look at me."

I did.

"Tell me what happened"

"I-I don't remember everything... But... I think he wanted to ask me... To ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. He... He said he could be my boyfriend. I don't even remember what we were talking about. But I panicked... I'm not ready..."

She took my hand.

"Abi, love... I'm not the one who should tell you this. But you are probably ready. What happened this weekend?"

"Lots of things... We kissed... And danced... And shared a bed... He told me about his past... I told him something of mine... We kissed. I really kissed him... I don't know what got into me... But I know I'm not ready and..."

"Stop saying you are not ready, okay? I hope you don't get angry at me, but you have to see Jennifer at 12 am."

I gasped.

"Molly..."

"You need it."

Tears formed again.

"I fucked it..."

"No, no, no, honey... No. Um... Fuck. He likes you, okay? He likes you a lot. He told me"

"D-did he?"

She nodded.

"He was worried about you. He asked how he could help if this happened. And see. I told him to leave. I didn't want him here. I thought he had cheated or something. I was ready to cut his balls. Really. I would have fist flighted him you know me"

I chuckled and she smiled, drying again my tears.

"He stayed. I told him to leave and he stayed because he wanted to see if you were okay. Then he told me he hadn't cheated. And I was like, oh. He is a good guy, he really is. He doesn't hate your for this. He understood. He accepted you needed time. I'm sure he has even sent you a message. He was really worried"

The Hansome Artist: hey, Abi.

The Hansome Artist: I’m so sorry about tonight.

The Hansome Artist: I can’t wait to see you.

The Hansome Artist: Whenever you feel ready, I’ll be there for you.

The Hansome Artist: ❤️

"He is giving me time" I whispered.

"Well, that's amazing, right?"

"He is such a good guy, Molly. He is so sweet... He is amazing. These days have been amazing. I lo-like him so much" I swallowed hard. It was the first time I confessed my feelings like this. "It felt so good to be there with his friends. They are all amazing, I felt so welcomed. Even you are invited to the next trip! And him? Fuck, Molly... It's so unfair."

"Why?"

"Because he seems like the perfect boyfriend to me!"

"Okay, Abi. Let's have breakfast. You really need to go and see Jennifer.

And so we did. The therapist started with the usual questions about myself and how things were in general. Then, she asked me for the real reason why my friend had called her so early in the morning.

"Well... Um... I had another attack"

She looked at me and sighed.

"It has been a while"

I nodded.

"Where do you want to start?"

"It was because of Danny"

"Daniel"

I nodded.

"Okay. How are things with him?"

"I thought they were fine. But now... I don't even know anymore"

"Maybe you want to tell me what happened in the last days"

"Yeah, um... I went to Red Rocks with him and his friends."

"Oh wow". She smiled a bit "Are you dating?"

"No. Like... We are not a couple. We have lots of dates, but we are not together."

"Okay, and how was the trip?"

I smiled a bit.

"I was awesome. I... I felt different with him in there. I kissed him." I looked at her and she just nodded so I continued. "Then we came back and..."

I could be your boyfriend.

"I think he wants to be my boyfriend and he was gonna ask last night"

Tears flooded down my cheeks and a sob broke out of my throat. As always, Jennifer passed me some paper to dry my tears.

"I can't be his girlfriend. I'm not ready. I want to, but not now. I can't make it."

Jennifer sighed.

"Do you want to explain why you don't feel ready?"

I took a deep breath.

"B-Because it's too soon. Um... After Arnie... I have feared loving someone for months. I'm not ready for dating Daniel. And I don't know what to do."

"Okay. You don't feel ready because of what Arnie did?"

I shrugged. I didn't even know anymore.

"Isn't it too soon?"

"There is not a limit date"

I looked away from her.

"Why did you kiss Daniel?"

I felt my breath stuck in my throat.

"Because I wanted to do it. I... I was going to do it in the morning, but his friend interrupted. Then... We were at this concert. And it felt right. We spent the whole weekend together. It was so nice to be like that with him. The... The affection, the jokes, the... The way he speaks to me... "

"Okay. Do you usually go on dates?"

"We try to meet and have a coffee usually." I told her. "To spend some time together."

"Have you told him about what happened?"

"A bit he told me about his past to so... I felt comfortable and told him"

"Fine." She wrote down on her notebook. "Okay. Do you want to tell me something else?"

"I met his family."

She smiled.

"How are they?"

"Amazing. They are super nice and they treated me really well."

"And you felt good, is suppose."

"I did. Daniel was so happy to have them here. He is Australian so they life away. And he invited me to a barbecue with some of his friends." I smiled through the tears while remembering that day. "I was so happy that day. He is contagious, if he is happy, you will be happy"

"I'm glad." She said.

"There is something else... H-he had some kind of... Problem."

She frowned.

"He is fine. But he reached for me. He wanted my help"

"And you helped him"

"Of course."

"And how did you felt?"

"Bad for him because he was having a hard time. But... I liked the idea of him reaching to me for something like this"

"Okay. Can I speak now? Can I tell you something?"

I nodded.

"From what you have told me, you two already behave how a couple is expected to do."

I stayed still looking at her.

"You feel comfortable around him. You are willing to spend time with him. You even took the first step in the kiss."

I bit my lip.

"Abigail, why do you think you are not ready? You already do all of what you are supposed to do in a relationship with him"

"We haven't had sex" I muttered.

"Well. That means nothing. Sex it's not the most important thing." She said shrugging. "Do you want to?"

I gasped and blushed crept on my cheeks.

"Y-yes..." I said in a barely there voice.

"Well. Why are you not ready?"

"Arnie..." I had given him everything and he had taken it away. I couldn't go through that again. I couldn't give Danny everything because I didn't know if I would be able.

"This has nothing to do with Arnie, Abigail. This is you. And Daniel. Arnie left a while ago. You can go on, you have to go on. Daniel is the perfect way to do it. You are comfortable with him. You are happy with him. I have seen you so much better this time. The way you speak its different. Why would have you done all those things with Daniel if you weren't ready? Why did you kiss him if you weren't ready?"

She was looking at me in the eyes.

"You are ready. You can love him. You can date him. You have so much to give and so much to receive."

"Am I?"

She nodded.

"It's only the trauma Arnie left. But I would like to say that you are almost healed. We knew this could happen, yes. I'm glad you came. I just want you to think about all the things you like about Daniel. All the things you like to do with him. Do you want to keep doing that? Do you want to spend more time with him?"

I nodded.

"Then. What's the difference between doing it calling him boyfriend or calling him friend?"

I bit my lip.

"None?"

She nodded.

"It's just a word, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you want him to be your boyfriend? Now?"

"I do. I'm in love with him" it felt so good to say it.

"Well. Do you want homework this time?" She said with a smile.

"I don't think so"

"Go home, think about this. And then..."

I smiled and dried my tears.

"Then I go and talk to him." I looked down at my hands.

"Are you ready?"

"I am"

....................

"Hi"

Charlotte turned and hugged me. Molly was there too. They were probably waiting for me to come.

"My sweet girl. How are you?"

"Better. I'm better."

"How was it?" Molly asked and reached to touch my hair.

I looked at them.

"I need your help"

The shared a look.

"Our help?" Charlotte asked.

"Well, I need to ask Danny to be my boyfriend and I want a cute date so..." A smile scraped my lips.

Molly shouted high and lift her arms while Charlotte hugged me tight and laughing.

"Oh yes! Yes! I have waited for so long. I knew you would like him. I fucking knew it!"

Molly got so excited that I thought she would faint. Charlotte was trying to hide her tears.

I kissed her cheek and she looked at me with a smile.

"I'm so proud of you, my little forest elf."

...

"Hey, Abigail. How are you?" Lewis gave me a quick hug.

"Good. Good. Um... Danny?"

"I think he is upstairs. If not, he must be on the studio. There is not much where to go"

I smiled.

"Thank you"

I remember the tiny room upstairs, the shelves with tattoo books and the metallic door.

The studio was empty, but his stuff was there. His keys, his wallet, the helmet for the cute vespa,... There was light coming from upstairs, so I climbed the stairs. The metallic door was opened.

The nerves settled on my stomach. Things could go insanely good or terribly bad today. This could be a new beginning or the most painful end in my life. I could loose the love of my life. But I had to do it. I couldn't wait more. It would only make it worst. So I went upstairs.

I wasn't ready for what I found.

In front of me there was a terrace. It wasn't too big, not bigger than my living room, but it was perfect. There was one of those garden beds, lights, a wooden porche and the best of all, lots of plants. I fell in love with that small and hidden place in the middle of West Hollywood.

And Daniel was there. He had a tripod and was drawing, he had his headphones on and was swining his head with the music. The drawing in front of him was amazing. He was such a talented man.

Fine, here your are. Do it Abigail.

I touched his shoulder gently and he tensed. He didn't moved for long seconds before starting to turn his face to the side. When he could register it was me, he started breathing again.

"Oh shi, Abi. You are here" He breathed out.

I wasn't expecting it. He got up ang hugged me. It all happened so fast, him pushing his headphones down, his arms around me and then my feet leaving the floor. I grabbed hard into him, equally wanting to have him close and not fall.

"You are here" He whispered.

"I'm here" I answered.

I didn't know why he kept repeating that. But I was so happy he wanted to see me. I was so happy he wanted me close. His hands felt amazing on my body, big and warm and grabbing in to me not wanting to let go.

"Hey, Dan" I whispered on his ear.

"Mhm?"

"Put me down please"

He did but kept his arms around me. His eyes were glassy and his lower lip quivered a bit. I had to reach and cup his face.

"I thought I had lost you" He whispered. "And I can't lose you, not now when things were going so well"

She was right. Molly was right. I took a deep breath.

"You won't. I'm not planing to go anywhere and... If after what I have to tell you still want to..."

"Nothing you can tell me would make me run away"

Now it was me who was almost in tears.

"Even if I had a body at the back of the shop?"

"I would take my pink and super discreet car and help you to get rid of it"

Both of us laughed like two stupid kids. I got on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek softly.

"Tell me, Abi"

I nodded.

I looked around and grabbed his hand before pulling him to the terrace bed. We both sat on the edge.

"It's the only crafting project that ever succeed." He said patting the bed.

"It's cute"

He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. It was the moment.

"Danny... Um... When I told you about Arnie I didn't told you the whole truth. Mainly because I didn't feel ready." I played with the Let's fuck ring, remembering when I discovering so many weeks ago. How even then things were already right with him. "Arnie cheated on me for two years and five months. Our relationship lasted three years"

Daniel's grip on my hand got stronger. I scanned his face, finding anger on his eyes.

"I discovered it. The week before our first anniversary. He said it was a one time thing. Nothing else. He crawled to me and begged me to come back to him. I did because I loved him. I loved him so much. Things were so perfect then. He was the perfect boyfriend. He helped me with the shop, he took me out, we spent so much time together... Then Molly told me there was something wrong and I got angry at her. I didn't talked to her for two weeks" I cleaned a tear. "That's the longest we have spent without talking. She is like my sister." Daniel smiled softly and sat closer to me. "We talked after that. She said she had seen him with someone. Then I talked to Arnie and it started. The manipulation. I knew he had someone else. I could see things. Messages, photos, he had weird plans and always some excuse... He grew distant. But every time I talked to him about this, he always said crazy. He made me believe it was all in my head, that I was jealous. He made me insecure. But I depended so much on him... I couldn't let go."

Daniel dried my tears softly.

"Charlotte made me break up with him. She said that she would stand next to me if i needed to, that she would fight him. Then... Molly and her spent the first two weeks with me. The whole time. I was devasted. I... I loved Arnie so much. And when I lost him I thought I didn't have more love to give. And then you came..." I stop and breathed deeply." You came and turned everything upside down. You are the most amazing guy I've ever meet. You make me so happy and... I really like you a lot. On Sunday... When you said that thing... I thought I wasn't ready for it. It was the trauma and insecurities Arnie left who acted. I had a panic attack. They were pretty usual at the beginning. But it has nothing to do with you. I want you to understand that, okay?"

"Okay, yes." His voice sounded different. Deeper.

"Daniel I... I talked to my therapist. Even when I was trying to make myself believe I wasn't ready... I am. I loved the trip. I loved spending so much time with you, the shows, the hike... I loved even sleeping on the same bed with you. And the drives! We sat for 15 hours in the car and I didn't get bored for a single minute. She made me realize that... All of this... All of this things I enjoyed so much with you, meant that I'm ready."

A little smile appeared on his lips.

"And that I can't live always thinking about what Arnie did. I have so much more love to give. I didn't run out of it when he left. There is still so much to do and discover and..." Say it, Abigail. "I want to do it by your side"

"Come here"

He pulled me for a hug and I closed my eyes I felt relief for the first time in 48 hours.

"You are so brave. And I'm so proud of you. You just scared the shit out of me, but it's fine because you are fine." He kissed my forehead. "I love spending time with you as well. But I'm not as good with words as you."

I chuckled and closed my eyes, enjoying his warm skin.

"And... Yeah, we can go on adventures together if that's what you want."

I chuckled.

"Discovering things can also mean discover how you like to eat your breakfast"

"I'm in for that too"

I looked at him and caressed his cheek.

"Please, tell me I can kiss you" He whispered.

"You can"

"You have a pretty addictive mouth here, lady" He whispered before trapping my lips on a deep and passionate kiss. It made me blush. Everything, his words, the kiss, his hands dangerously low on my hips...

And as his tongue danced with mine and his hands pressed me closer, I remembered that this wasn't the plan for today. Not yet maybe.

"Dan..." I pulled back, but he kept looking for my lips with his. Giggling, I had to put a finger on them. "There is something else"

He opened his eyes.

"What else?"

I smiled and reached for my back pocket. I pulled the two tickets. I showed them to him and he frowned.

"What is this?" He took them carefully and read them.

"Santa Monica Pier. Pacific Park" I smiled. "Do you want to go on a date with me?" My cheeks blushed so hard.

He smiled. Then he cupped my neck and kissed me again.

"Of course I want to"

I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Let's go"

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck, yes"

His smile grew so big as he got up. He pulled me up too and kissed my forehead.

"You look beautiful, by the way"

You smiled because you had dressed from heat to toe for this date.

"Thank you"

"And I'm here just wearing this"

"You look good. Oversize t-shirt and jeans is such a look. It suits you" You said fixing the t-shirt.

"Let's go then"

When I sat behind him, my chin on his shoulders and my arms around his torso, I felt what they had told me, Jennifer, Molly and Charlotte. I was ready. I loved him. This was what I wanted. I felt so pleased by the feeling on my chest. By that happiness. Danny was who I needed in my life.

In love.

Next part: I know a place.

Taglist: @controsnes   @thybulleric   @ln15  @lcuppo  @priylodhasstuff  @shadowbowgirl13   @txtflxx @scotlynaurora  @chxrryrose  @f1-incorrect-s @yearsof-war @earfquak3

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Pharmaceuticals | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi, friends! This is a completely and totally self-serving story because all of my exes have been so fucking rude to me about my medical issues.

Send me your comments, requests, and/ or suggestions! 🥰

Tag list: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @glxwingrxse @psychoticmason @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy @lonewolf471 💘

-----------------------------------

Bucky lazily crossed the threshold of your bedroom, staring at his phone to check the score of last night's Yankee game. A rattling sound got his attention and he looked up to see you with your back to him, throwing back some pills and chasing them with water.

“You okay?” he asked, almost startling the pills back out of your mouth. Whipping around, you saw him causally leaning in the doorway, his eyes betraying a hint of concern. Your cheeks took on an unmistakable pink tinge, telling Bucky that he’d seen something you wished he hadn’t. "What?" you said as you swallowed hard, knowing there was no way out of this one.

“I asked if you were okay…” he repeated, taking a few slow steps toward you, “I saw you tossing back some pills. Got a headache or something, baby?” You’d been with Bucky for just over a year and he stayed at your place almost every night, but you still hadn’t told him everything about you quite yet- and for good reason.

After being caught red-handed, you sighed and resolved to tell him the truth, no matter how embarrassing it was. “Yeah, I'm fine, Buck. I just..." you hesitated, wishing you could keep your secret just a bit longer, "I have to take some meds everyday. I've got some, um, some issues". Humiliation colored your words and drew Bucky closer to you, his cold metal hand reaching out to touch your face. "I've got issues too, doll. A lot of them. You can talk to me.." he murmured. He removed his hand from your cheek and took a seat on the bed, giving you the time and space you needed to find your words.

He gave you the permission to be honest without fear of persecution, so you cautiously unburied the secret you'd kept hidden from him. "Okay, well, I take-I take these for anxiety", you said as you pulled a bottle of pills out from its hiding place in your nightstand, "I've always been anxious-ever since I was a little kid. And so when I was in college I finally talked to someone about it and...I've been on medication for it since I was like 18”. His kind eyes didn't change as you spoke, giving you the judgement-free reaction you'd never gotten from your exes.

"And this one is for depression", you said while pulling another bottle from your drawer, "| know I hide it well, but I…it's bad sometimes. I need this to um, to keep my head above water”. He gave you a nod, but felt an ache in his chest to reach out and hold you. He kept his urges at bay, however, not wanting to stop you from your admission. "I have to take this- twice a day actually-" you told him as you held up a third bottle, "because | have nerve damage that's resulted in chronic pain that makes me feel like I'm being burned and shocked at the same time”. He winced at your words and finally realized why you were always popping ibuprofen like m&ms. “And these two- these are for my thyroid, because that shit is totally out of whack”, you stated matter-of-factly as you shook two small bottles.

Now that you were finally finished showing him part of your at home pharmacy, you fell quiet and waited for his reaction. His arms outstretched toward you in the way that you loved, beckoning you to climb into his lap. As you took your rightful place against his body, he wrapped his arms around you and held you close, pressing a kiss to your temple. "You don't have to be embarrassed," he murmured, "you know who you're dating, right? My therapist says I'm the poster-child for unresolved anxiety, depression, and PTSD..." You rolled your eyes at the mention of Bucky's shitty therapist, making him chuckle. "I'm serious, though, sweets. Everyone has their stuff...you taking medication doesn't make me think less of you".

Your eyes snapped to meet his as disbelief rendered you speechless. "I'm just not- I'm not used to that..." you muttered, "everyone I've ever dated has been so weird about it. Called me crazy or gave me shit for taking meds and seeing a therapist. None of them ever had any fucking empathy...one guy actually asked me if I went to the doctor hoping to get a diagnosis-" rage pooled in your chest as you thought back on all the assholes you'd dated before Bucky, "I mean, if I go to the doctor with shooting pain in my skull that feels like I'm being electrocuted, of course I'm gonna hope for a fucking diagnosis." You let out an angry huff and felt Bucky's big, strong hand making light tracks up and down your spine, soothing the anger from your body.

"Well, I don't feel that way," Bucky promised, "I'm actually really proud of you for getting the help you know you need. Asking for help isn't easy for everyone..." His voice trailed off and you leaned into him a little closer, knowing he was thinking back on all the times he'd tried to push you away instead of being honest with you.

"Promise me you'll talk to me about this kind of stuff in the future?" he asked softly as he squeezed you a bit tighter. You nodded against his chest, finally feeling safe to be completely transparent.

[absolutelyfizzing]

He can't hurt you anymore

Bucky x reader

Description - Reader is the barista that Bucky has befriended at his local coffee shop but he thinks you may be hiding something. Your boyfriend might not be as kind as he tries to come off as. One day Bucky investigates and intervenes. Takes place around TFATWS but the shield isn't a factor. After the events of Endgame. Its pretty platonic Buck x Reader but it's sort of implied that future romance is probably a thing.

Warnings - TW DOMESTIC ABUSE!!! This is a big part of the story, if this is triggering for you, DO NOT READ THIS!! If you are in a situation where you need help getting out of an abusing household please get help. also endgame spoilers! Theres some cussing as well and female pronouns are used.

Word count - 4700 ish?

A/N - I am writing this from how an abusive relationship was for ME, how I acted, and the ways that I felt. This is in no way a generalization of how these situations are for most people nor is it a romanticization of abuse. Please reach out to someone or even me if you need help or you want to talk about anything. Do not read this story if you will be harmed by reading this, PLEASE.

MASTERLIST

Bucky's favorite part of his day was when he went to get coffee from the small shop down the street from his apartment. He didn't have many places he liked to go outside of the small room that he often felt trapped him but he knew that it was good for him to get out and interact with people. His therapist had told him as much.

He really didn't even like the coffee that much, he found that it made him jittery, but he went just to say hi to you. He always got the same order and usually got there around the same time so sometimes you would even have his coffee ready just as he was walking in. When you did things like that it made his heart flutter. He liked you in a romantic way but you only ever lightly flirted. Not wanting to scare you away, he never pressed and he kept his conversation moderately friendly. He had noticed that sometimes you seemed off. More so than he would say might be caused by a bad day.

On these days your eyes would be flying around the room and your hands shaky. You normally had bags under your eyes and you might even have bruises around your body. He also noticed that on those days you would cover up more but he could catch a glimpse of a purple bruise on your arm under your sleeve when you moved.

As he walked into the shop, he saw that today would be one of those days. He had been going to the coffee shop that you were at for probably 6 months and he had never seen you this shaken up. You seemed to be fully zoned out as you automatically did the cleaning in front of you. He had to clear his throat a bit to get you to notice him and when he did he regretted it. You flinched and your shoulders tensed before looking over to him. You relaxed a bit and a wide smile appeared on your face. He could vaguely tell it seemed to be fake but it was one of the best fake smiles he had ever seen. He almost commented on it before he noticed the bruises on your neck and arm.

"You okay?" He questioned, eyebrow quirked and his tone lightly teasing. He guessed they might be from whoever you were sleeping with having been a bit rough, something that he wouldn't have judged you for anyway. When you tensed up a bit and drew your hand to your neck he saw the look of slight fear cross your eyes.

"Oh I'm fine!" You recovered, "Didn't have time to cover them up this morning." You smiled and put your arm back down. It looked like you were going with his guess that they were from your boyfriend but in a non threatening way. His smile lessened a bit and he got out his wallet.

"Well, you know the drill. Medium americano with cream and sugar please." He sighed and he put some money in your tip jar while winking at you. You blushed and nodded before turning around to get started on his order.

While you were turned around he heard the bell on the door ring signaling that someone had entered. He turned to see who it was only to be met with an unfamiliar face. This was a bit of a rare occurrence considering he came here so often and he knew almost all of the other people who walked in. This man was large and domineering. He didn't look abnormal in any way, just that his eyes didn't hold the kindness that Bucky searched for when meeting someone new. The man pushed past Bucky to stand at the counter and knocked on it loudly, trying to get your attention. When you turned, you looked like you saw a ghost.

James studied you carefully as the color slowly came back to your face and the large smile that didn't quite seem right was plastered on your face again.

"Hey, babe! Can I get you something?" you asked him kindly and James realized that this must be your boyfriend. He noticed the slight waver that was in your voice as you spoke to to man and the way that your hands began to shake a bit.

"No thanks, I just wanted to check on you to see how you were doing and to apologize again. I was just heading in to work." Your boyfriend smiled and you flinched for a moment before taking a deep breath, bracing yourself.

"No worries, I already told you I forgave you." You grinned, this one looking more like it reached your eyes. "Have a good day at work!" You chirped at him. His hand came to your cheek and James saw you flinch before the man leaned in to kiss you. As soon as he pulled away and left, you turned back to the drink you were making for Buck and your hands were unsteady.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" He tentatively asked. He didn't want to push but he had a bad feeling stuck in his stomach.

You turned to him, ready drink in hand, "I'm doing great, thank you for asking, James" You smiled and Bucky nearly swooned when you used his name. He adjusted his glove a bit and fidgeted with the sleeve on his metal arm, a habit he had when he was anxious.

"Do you mind if I drink it up here? I'd love to chat a bit." He did this pretty often. There was a seat next to the counter for employees that he would occupy on days where the shop wasn't too busy. You gazed at him and nodded enthusiastically.

"How are you now that you're all settled into the new place?" You asked gently and he smiled. He appreciated that you remembered details about him. It made him feel less crazy for having known so much about you.

"It's good! The bed still doesn't feel right and there are still boxes lying around but I cant seem to get myself to unpack all the way. If I didn't have this part of my day then I think I'd be bored out of my mind" He said. You blushed a bit and smiled. You always liked hearing about how he was doing, you worried about him. He had told you at some point that he was a veteran and that he had some issues adapting to his new life. You didn't bring it up often so as to not scare him off but you liked to check in when you could.

"You might want to start looking for something else to occupy your time then, I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here." You mumbled. You were still smiling a bit but your gaze had saddened.

"What do you mean? Are you leaving the city? Heading back home?" he questioned quickly. You had told him that you weren't originally from New York. You chuckled a bit at his panic.

"No, but might be moving in with my boyfriend, that guy who came in earlier." You explained but he still had a confused look on his face.

"Why does that mean you wont be working here?"

"Oh I don't know, he is trying to get me to quit while I'm figuring out life and stuff. Thinks I might be more helpful around the house and he has enough to support us both." you tried to explain but you knew the logic in your statement was flawed. The reality was that your boyfriend wanted you to be financially dependent on him but you were ignoring that as the bruises around your throat reminded you what happened to girlfriends who talked back. You looked into Bucky's eyes to find him staring sadly.

"You should be able to keep working if you want to."  He sounded urgent and you laughed it off.

"You're just mad cause you won have an excuse to see your favorite barista anymore." As you turned back to the cleaning around the shop to do. It was a quiet morning so the silence was slightly deafening. You both didn't speak for a couple minutes before James broke the silence.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" he asked very lightly. Like he didn't want to scare you off. "I'm guessing your boyfriend left those marks and earlier when he came in-"

"It was an accident" You stated quickly. Urgently. Pleadingly. You still weren't looking at him but you had stopped cleaning. "He didn't mean to, he felt bad about it." You continued before turning to James. There were tears in your eyes and you tried to smile reassuringly.

"Those kinds of accidents shouldn't happen, Y/N" He muttered, trying not to make you feel attacked at all but also wanting to let you know that he knew something was wrong.

"It was my fault." You began.

"There is no way-"

"No it was. I messed something up and-and it was on me. James, you don't need to worry about me." Your voice was shaking a bit. "Please, don't worry about me." you were pleading. Your eyes were begging.

You both stood in silence for a moment before you began moving around. You didn't really have a task to be doing but you couldn't be still. You just couldn't be still.

"I am worried" he whispered and you felt the tears in your eyes threaten to fall. You knew you situation wasn't good but you didn't feel like there was anything you could do. And you were partially still convinced that your boyfriend didn't mean it, even though past experiences had already proved you wrong. You knew that after the 5th time, it wasn't accidental. But fear and guilt held you back. You were not an aggressive person. When he yelled at you he made you feel weak. You crumbled. You would never be able to escape.

You went through the rest of your shift in moderate silence. You worked when customers came in and when they left you would try to make yourself seem busy around the shop. James sat patiently, you knew he was gong to want to walk you back to your boyfriend's apartment. Your stomach clenched as you prayed that your boyfriend wouldn't be home.

After your shift you agreed to let James walk you home, you only lived a few blocks away. You didn't talk much and you felt guilty for creating that atmosphere. When you reached your building you stopped and turned to him.

"Thank you for walking me home." You smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow?" You asked and Bucky nodded.

When you turned to head into you building, he didn't leave. He waited. He knew something was wrong but he didn't want to create a mess for you if he didn't need to. He stood against the building before walking in behind someone who was entering. He made his way to the address he had caught on your key earlier and stopped about 3 floors down from yours. He wouldn't intervene unless you needed him and he could listen in from further away. One of the few times he was thankful for the super serum.

"Where have you been?" a growl sounded.

"I was just-"

"Your shift ended 30 minutes ago. Were you talking to that leather wearing asshole? Huh?" There was a yell. "Were you cheating on me, you bitch?!"

"No, babe, Bucky just walked me home, he was just being nice. The person taking over my shift was just a little-"

"He walked you home?" He screamed, "You're just whoring yourself out to anyone now, huh?"

At this point Bucky had heard enough but he noticed that the stairs were closed and the elevator was taking forever. He was hitting himself for not going up to your floor to be more prepared. His heart was pounding and he could feel his eyes watering.

"Babe, I'm sorry, he didn't mean anything by it, I promise-"

He heard a yelp and something making impact and he decided he was done waiting. He didn't know why the stairs were closed but it didn't matter. He broke the door to the stairwell open and he sprinted up them as fast as possible. It was easier to hear your whimpers as he got closer and he could still hear hitting.

When he made it to the door he didn't hesitate to break it in. When he entered the apartment he felt eyes on him. In the corner of your living room you were hunched in a corner, breathing heavily with tears streaming down your face and a fresh broken lip, your boyfriend leering over you with his fist clenched.

"Get the fuck away from her." Bucky felt himself growl. He didn't want to hurt this guy in front of you, knowing that would traumatize you more, but it was taking everything in him not to snap his neck right then.

"What the fuck are you gonna do?" Your boyfriend sneered, "You have no right to come in here and tell be how I'm supposed to deal with my girlfriend. Get the fuck out!" Your boyfriend had moved away from you and you took a bit of a breath. Bucky noticed the shaking of your body as you breathed and he saw red.

Before he really considered what he was doing Bucky was already moving toward the man in the middle of the room, his metal hand clenched. He moved to grab your boyfriend's arm and when he tried to block, going into the fight cocky, Bucky decided he would put him in his place. With what seemed to be minimal effort, Bucky turned the mans arm around and jammed his knee into his back. Once your boyfriend was on the floor, in less than 10 seconds, Bucky had his knee on his chest and his metal arm on his neck.

"You will never lay another finger on her again, you understand me? You're gonna go to fucking prison and you'll never be able to get near her again." Bucky growled at the man who was struggling futilely beneath him. He pressed on his neck harder and waited for his body to give out, holding long enough that he would be knocked out for at least a few minutes so he could get you out of there.

Bucky looked up at you and you were still shaking in the corner, seemingly still terrified. You looked so different from the girl he had come to know. Bucky realized that he might have just made you more scared of him but he knew it was worth it to get you out of the situation. You gulped and took a deep shaky breath before moving to stand up. Bucky moved to stand also to go over and help you but you immediately say back down.

"Hey, doll. I'm not gonna hurt you-" Bucky started but you cut him off.

"I know, I know I just..." You took another shallow breath and looked at the man Bucky was no longer holding down. He could get free and move toward you now if he were to wake up. Bucky understood your gaze sighed a bit, looking around the apartment he now realized probably belonged to your boyfriend. He then noticed the belt on your boyfriend and moved to take it off so he could tie him up with it. He heard you whimper and he made a guess as to why, his heart clenching once again. He quickly bound the large man's hands and attached him to a support beam in the middle of the room. He checked the bindings using larger movements than he needed to so that you would see they were tight from your spot across the room. Bucky then stood and slowly made his way near you. Instead of trying to get very close, he opted to sit against the wall about halfway between you and the man tied up in the room, trying to make sure that you didn't feel threatened by him and that you knew your boyfriend was no longer a threat.

"I'm gonna call a friend okay? You're okay now." Buck said gently to you and you nodded. Your eyes were watery as tears began to fall and you scooted a little closer to Bucky, still not sitting close enough to touch. Bucky made no move to push you.  He instead just dialed the only person he could think of.

"Hey, Sam... You in town?.. I know but I need some help. I need the police here and if you could drive too that would be great. I got someone here I don't want going in a cop car... I know that's a lot to ask but I wouldn't be asking if it weren't serious... Please?.. That would be great if she's there." It seemed that the 'please' made the person on the other line agree. Bucky hung up and looked toward you. "Someone's on the way, okay? Do you need anything right now or need any medical help thats urgent?"He tried to be gentle but he couldn't hide the fear in his voice. If there was severe damage somewhere he needed to know now.

"N-no, it wasn't that bad. It's just my face and my ribs I guess but I've healed from worse." You mumbled, trying to be reassuring but then realizing that you may have made him feel worse. "I'm sorry" You mumbled as the tears began again.

"Whoa, what on earth are you sorry for?" Bucky asked as he felt his own eyes begin to water.

"Its just that-" you took a breath for a moment and tried to calm your shaking, "this isn't your job and I'm sorry that you have to deal with it and that I couldn't do it on my own." You cried a bit, Bucky barely being able to make out your words with how quietly you were speaking. He wasn't entirely sure how to help. He experimentally slid a hand along the floor toward you going very slowly so you could move or tell him to stop if you wanted. Instead you moved your hand and reached out so your fingers were touching on the floor. You still didn't move closer to him but the nonthreatening contact made you feel a bit better. He spoke up quietly.

"Y/N, I know this has been a really hard day for you and probably been rough for however long you've been with that asshole but you need to understand that this is not your fault. You did not make him do this to you and you did not deserve it. You will never be in a room alone with him again, okay?" He made decisive eye contact with you and you nodded a bit. "I am going to make sure that nothing happens to you now, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you again." He sounded reassuring and you scooted just close enough that his hand was holding yours. He smiled lightly at you and you jumped as you heard a knock at the doorframe of the entrance where the door had been practically broken off its hinges.

You tensed up immediately and Bucky stood a bit protectively in front of you, letting go of your hand in the process. You saw a tall kind looking man at the doorway, his frame slightly hunched to make sure that he didn't startle you too much. You looked at him a bit fearfully and took a deep breath before glancing at Bucky and then smiling lightly at the man in the doorway. He watched you carefully as he stepped into the apartment.

"Hey there, my name is Sam, I'm just gonna get him out of here. There's a police car with his name on it downstairs. I brought someone with me who's going to help get you out of here to somewhere safe, okay?" He smiled at you as he moved toward the man tied up in the center of the room. As the bindings came off you skittered back toward the corner a bit and only eased once he was dragged out of the room. From the doorway came a redhead with bags under her eyes. She looked like she hadn't gotten good sleep in a while and you felt like you recognized her from somewhere.

"I'm Pepper, is it okay if I come in?" She looked nice and she had a motherly presence. You nodded and smiled a bit. Her gaze softened further and she walked slowly toward you and as she walked past Bucky she touched his arm lightly, conveying something that you didn't quite understand. "Can I help you up?" she asked as she stood in front of you, her hand reached out. You nodded and put your hand in hers, allowing her to pull you up. You felt the damage that had been done more clearly when you stood up, there was definitely something wrong with your ribs and your stomach. She carefully and slowly put an arm around your shoulders as she herded you out of the apartment. you looked back to where Bucky was standing and he smiled at you reassuringly but his eyes seemed sad. You let yourself be led to a car outside with a man that Pepper called "Happy" driving. She sat in the back with you and made casual one sided conversation to put you at ease.

Back at your apartment Bucky began to try to pack you a bag. He knew that Pepper would take good care of you and wouldn't let anything happen. He would meet you at the Avengers tower later, assuming you would be staying there until you felt comfortable living by yourself at your own apartment again. He moved through your ex's apartment with a critical gaze, noting holes in the wall and a gun in the corner. He presumed it was to protect against home intruders but he didn't doubt that it had been used to threaten you too. He found the bedroom and got to work getting some things that he thought you might want like a hoodie that looked like yours and some personal belongings that were clearly your possessions. He was trying very hard not to accidentally grab something that was your ex's and once he had a full bag he headed out. He saw Sam leaned against the wall outside your building and Bucky immediately got worried.

"Wheres-"

"He's already booked at the precinct, I've got my guys on it and he isn't going anywhere." Sam reassured, having known what Bucky was going to ask. They began walking to the tower, not wanting to get in a car and knowing that the walk wasn't going to be too long.

"Sorry I had to call you, I know you were probably busy. I just didn't know who else to ask." Bucky stated quietly.

"You did the right thing, Buck. You probably saved that girl's life back there." Sam smiled a bit at the man next to him and Bucky felt a smile tug at his mouth too.

They both made light conversation as they made their way back to the tower. When they did, Bucky took a deep breath. He hadn't been back here since right after Steve left. He hadn't seen Pepper in a long time either. He needed to talk to her when he got inside to thank her and to see if she was okay. He knew she probably didn't want to see him very much but she had still helped you when he asked.

Back at the tower you were finally cleared from the medical wing. You were still shaky but you were masking it pretty well and you were about back to where you functioned daily where you could fake smiles if you needed to. Pepper stayed by you the whole time and you met a little girl named Morgan who was very excited to tell you stories that put you at ease. Eventually Pepper led you to a room that she said you could use to sleep and shower in for now and that you could call the AI if you needed anything at all. You asked it to tell you when Bucky got back and it said it would. You also now knew that you recognized her as Iron Man's wife but you didn't mention it, knowing she had lost her husband semi-recently. You also recognized that Sam, who you had met earlier, was the Falcon. Then came the question of who was Bucky. You knew there was a James Barnes associated with the Avengers but you'd never seen him and you knew he had a metal arm, something that you weren't sure was  part of Bucky. You showered and cried again in the shower but this time out of relief. You realized that you didn't have to go home to that awful man and that you were finally safe.

The AI, you thought you'd heard Pepper call it FRIDAY, let you know that Bucky was in the building along with Sam. You dressed in the clothes that pepper had given to you, a pair of sweats and a loose T-shirt, and left your room. You carefully padded down the hallway, prepared to ask FRIDAY where you were if you got lost. Instead you saw Bucky down a hallway carrying a bag that you recognized as your own. Now that you were a bit calmed down you knew what you had to do. You got closer to each other, Bucky smiling slightly, and he stopped so that he wouldn't get close to you if you didn't want him to. Instead you continued walking toward him until you got close enough that you could wrap your arms tightly around his waist. He stood in shock before dropping the bag and wrapping one of his arms around you tightly. You reached out to the other one and felt the hardness of it. You guessed then that he must be the winter soldier that you'd heard about but you continued to wrap it around yourself so that he was hugging you all the way. You took a deep breath and smiled slightly.

"Thank you, James." You murmured and you heard his heart pick up its pace. He tightened his arms around you and sighed.

"You’re welcome, doll" he accepted the thanks with a bit of apprehension but this wasn't the time to argue about whether or not thanks were needed. "I promise I'm not going to let anything happen to you again." He stated quietly and he was reassuring himself more than you. Your arms tightened around him more and he decided that he would protect you with all he had if you would let him.

[bxcketbarnes]

Making Amends

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 2900+

Author’s Note: The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (kinda) spoilers if you haven’t watched it. Uh, someone send help because I’m falling in love. I hope whoever reads this enjoys it as much as I did writing it. Much love to you all! xoxo

"Who's Y/N?" Dr. Raynor asks Bucky and his head snaps up, narrowing his eyes a bit. The therapist raises an eyebrow at his reaction to the question.

Bucky gets up from the couch before snatching the phone from her hands, not answering her question. He swallows thickly as he looks at the text you sent him, asking if the two of you could meet up.

He can feel his heartbeat quicken as Bucky hasn't seen you in almost eight years. The super-soldier licks his lips as he thinks about the last interaction he had with you, remembering his metal hand wrapped around your throat.

"She's someone I wronged years ago," he finally answers while continuing to stare at his phone.

"Well, you're working on making amends. Why don't you start with her," Dr. Raynor suggests and Bucky presses his lips together before slowly nodding his head.

The brunette sighs and texts you back, agreeing to meet up before showing his therapist the text. Bucky shoves his phone back into his pocket before standing up.

"I need to go. See you in a couple of weeks, Doc," he mumbles while walking out of the office.

Bucky runs his hands through his hair as he walks out of the building, thoughts of you filling his mind. He wonders why you want to meet now after eight years since the incident.

You happened to be strolling through the airport grounds when hell started to break loose. You were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your eyes widened when you noticed a quinjet in one of the hangers, never seeing one of the Avengers vehicles up close.

Your eyes looked around everywhere as you tried to see if you could spot any of the mighty heroes. Two figures ran towards you and you jumped when one of the airport towers started to fall in front of the wide-open hanger.

"This isn't good," you mumbled to yourself and took a couple of steps back.

Everything started to happen so fast that you didn't see Captain America and The Winter Soldier run towards you. You went to move out of the way when the long-haired man wrapped his metal hand around your throat.

A gasp leaves your lips as you breathed in as much air as you could, your hand gripping his metal wrist. "Bucky, let her go," Steve told him and you could feel his grip on you tighten.

"I-I'm sorry," you squeaked out as tears filled your eyes, glancing towards Steve. "I-I just wanted to see the quinjet up close. I won't tell anyone I swear."

Your eyes met the Winter Soldier's cold blue ones before the super-soldier dropped you from his grasp. You gasped and started to breathe heavily while scrambling to get off of the floor.

Bucky's phone ringing snaps him from the memory he's having and he fishes the device out of his pocket. His breath hitches in his throat at your name flashing across his screen.

"Hello?" He hesitantly answers and your giggle comes through the speaker.

"Hi, Bucky," you greet him and Bucky swallows the lump in his throat as he sits down on the bench. "I'm sorry for calling all of a sudden, but I've been thinking about you."

He furrows his brows, not expecting such a warm welcome from you as Bucky licks his lips again. "You have?" Bucks asks.

"Yeah! The reason I asked to meet up is that I happen to be in New York for the first time in years," you explain to him and Bucky nods his head. "I know the first time we met wasn't exactly a fun one, but I figured we could put that behind us."

"Absolutely," Bucky sighs in relief, wanting to apologize to you for almost killing you that day in the hanger. "I've also been thinking about that a lot."

"Oh! That's great. Do you want to meet up for coffee or something?" You ask him and Bucky agrees. "Great! Uh, there's a quiet Café on the main drag that's right near the bookstore-"

"Oh, yeah, I know the one that you're talking about," Bucky mumbles and you mutter to yourself incoherently, a smile coming to the super-soldiers lips. "I'll see you in an hour?"

A grin settles on your lips as you look out the window of your hotel room, nodding your head before verbally agreeing with the plan. You bid Bucky goodbye and hang up the phone, sliding the device into your back pocket.

You've thanked Steve a few times already for providing you with Bucky's number. Captain America told you all about his past to try and make up for how he reacted in the airport hanger years ago.

You didn't blame him for his actions as you understand the reason why he did what he did. You just hope that the two of you can put your past behind you and be friends. "Here goes nothing…" you trail off before leaving your hotel room.

-

Bucky sits in one of the booths, fiddling with the gloves on his hands as he waits for you to arrive. He chews on his bottom lip when the bell attached to the cafe's front door chimes, making the super-soldier turn his head towards it.

His blue eyes soften at the sight of you. You're looking around the Cafe frantically before your eyes meet his. A smile comes to your lips as you give him a small wave and start walking towards him.

"Hey, Bucky," you greet and the brunette stands up from his seat. "You look great. The haircut suits you well."

Bucky awkwardly smiles and runs a hand through his hair. "Thank you," he whispers as his heartbeat quickens. "You look great as well. It's been… a while for sure."

A chuckle leaves your lips as you nod your head in response, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Do you want a coffee?" You ask him and Bucky shakes his head, politely declining your offer. "Okay. I'll be right back, hold on."

He watches you from the booth as you order your coffee. Bucky lets out a huff of breath, trying to relax his nerves before you come back over here. Am I really ready for this?

"So, what have you been up to?" You ask the brunette as you sit across from him. You look into his eyes while sipping the scalding hot coffee, awaiting his answer.

"Uhm, not much really. I-I go to therapy every few weeks. It was one of the requirements for my pardon," he explains and you nod your head in response. Bucky clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck, feeling the leather gloves tug on the small hairs. "I've been trying to make amends with people who I've wronged."

You hum with an eyebrow raise, swallowing the liquid before speaking. "Oh, that's good. Is it working? Like, how are you feeling about that?" You question him and Bucky swallows thickly.

I still have nightmares every night. He thinks to himself as he stays quiet, not really knowing how to answer the question. "Uh-"

"I hope I'm not prying too much," you cut him off with wide eyes, just now realizing your intrusiveness. "I just… Steve's told me quite a bit about you and I know that you almost killed me when we first met, but I find you intriguing, Bucky."

Bucky smiles softly and shakes his head, not noticing any sign of fear in your eyes. "You're intriguing," he states and you can feel your cheeks heat up at his words. "I had my hand wrapped around your throat and here you are, trying to be friends with me. It's incredible really. Something I've never seen."

You shrug your shoulders while fiddling with your fingers, a shy smile on your lips. "I believe in everyone having second chances," you mumble to him and Bucky nods his head.

"Well, I'm really glad you're providing me with a second chance," he softly whispers as his heart flutters in his chest.

-

You run down the streets of lower Manhattan, quickly making your way towards the building the GRC are held in. You heard about the hostage threat on the news and for some stupid reason, you wanted to be close to the action.

Once you make it to the front of the building and stand behind the police barricade they have set up for the public. Your eyes see Bucky's figure walking around on the other side and your eyes widen.

"Bucky!" You call out, causing some heads to snap your way. A blush covers your cheeks while mumbling an apology.

The super-soldier walks over to you and looks around him cautiously. "Y/N, what are you doing?! You shouldn't be here!" He quietly scolds and you look up at him through your lashes, heavy breaths leaving your lips.

"You know me… I like an adventure. You remember the airport incident," you remind him, and Bucky's jaw clenches.

"Unfortunately, I do, yeah," he comments and grabs a hold of your hand before leading you off somewhere else. "Listen, Karli and her team are here and she's using people against us. I don't want you getting hurt."

Your eyes trail down his chest, noticing the metal all he's currently sporting. "You changed it," you whisper and reach your hand out, gliding your fingertips along the cool surface.

Bucky swallows thickly as his eyes move from your face to your hand on his arm. "Y/N," he softly mumbles and your eyes move to his blue ones. "Please do me a favor and get out of here. Please."

"Okay," you tell him while nodding your head, causing the super-soldier to let out a sigh of relief. "Be careful."

Bucky chuckles and mumbles incoherently as you lean on your toes, kissing the corner of his lips. The laughter dies on his lips as a blush covers his cheeks, his hand moving to grip your forearm gently. You pull away from him and smile up at him before making your way back towards your apartment.

You begin to feel uneasy during your walk home, looking over your shoulder every few seconds to make sure no one's following you. A small scream leaves your lips as you find someone wearing a mask in front of you, blocking your path. You take a couple of steps back and swallow the lump in your throat as your back collides with someone.

You didn't have time to say anything before getting knocked out by one of the men, losing consciousness instantly. A member of the Flag Smashers easily picks up your body before bringing you to their leader, Karli.

When your eyes flutter open, you see a shorter redhead standing in front of you with a phone pressed to her ear. "Listen here, Bucky. I don't want to hurt you guys, but you're giving me no choice," she starts and you begin to panic slightly as you feel your wrists bound together behind your back. "So, I'm gonna make a deal with you. You and Sam pack it up and leave… or I hurt your precious Y/N."

Bucky's breath hitches in his throat at the sound of your name, his eyes dancing around the area he's standing in. "I swear to God if yo-"

"You've got one hour to make a decision," she cuts him off before hanging up. You look up at the girl as you breathe heavily, chest heaving rapidly. Karli walks towards you before crouching slightly. "Let's hope Bucky cares enough about you to listen."

"Sam, they've got Y/N," the super-soldier informs him through comms, his heart pounding in his chest as Sharon runs up to him. "We need to find her before Karli does anything to her."

"I know where they are," the blonde mentions to Bucky, and his blue eyes snap towards her. "C'mon, I'll show you the entrance."

Sam finally joins the two as they stealth their way through the building, avoiding any member of the Flag Smashers as best as possible. "She'll be okay," Sam reassures Bucky who clenches his jaw in response, hoping that he's right.

A pained yelp leaves your lips as one of the members punches you across the face. You lean your head back, growing tired of the questions Karli's asking. "Fuck you," you growl and spit some blood onto the floor beside you. "You think you're helping but you're making it worse."

Karli's nostrils flare up before nodding her head once more. The same man who's been beating you the past thirty minutes throws another punch at you, causing the chair you're sitting in to fall back against the concrete.

"You should think before you speak," she snarls before walking away from you. "C'mon, leave her here. We've got shit to do."

You pant heavily as you lay helplessly on the ground, the chair crushing your hands beneath you. "This is what happens when you adventure off, Y/N," you say to yourself while staring up at the ceiling.

Your ears perk up at the sounds of multiple footsteps, your heartbeat quickening as you think they've come back to finish you off instead. "Y/N?" Bucky calls out and a weight lifts off your shoulders while a sigh of relief leaves your lips.

"Bucky," you cry out and attempt to move.

The super-soldier kneels beside you before lifting your chair. "Hey, you okay?" He asks softly and you nod your head.

"As okay as I can be," you whisper with a pained smile. Sam undoes your restraints as Bucky places his right hand against your cheek, stroking your bruised skin gently.

"I'm sorry," you both say simultaneously, earning a chuckle from the brunette in front of you.

Bucky helps you stand up, his metal hand resting on your waist while the other grabs a hold of your hand. "I'm gonna give you my address and the key to my apartment," he tells you and you nod your head, listening carefully. "Go there and stay inside until I get back, okay?"

"Y-Yeah," you whisper and grab the key from his fingers, gripping onto it tightly. You swallow thickly as the pain begins to take over. A hiss leaves your lips and Bucky looks down at you with a worried expression. "You happen to have a first aid kit at your place?"

"Under the bathroom sink," he informs you, and you nod before heading towards the exit.

Bucky calls out to you and you glance over your shoulder to look back at him. You watch him as he quickly walks over to you before capturing your lips with his. A short gasp leaves your lips while wrapping an arm around his neck, threading your fingers through his hair. He pulls away after a few moments, his heavy breaths fanning your lips and you let out a soft chuckle.

“Come back alive and there’s more where that came from,” you whisper to him and Bucky lets out a laugh before shaking his head.

“But I’m one who kissed you,” he reminds you and you shush him, giggling.

“Well, if you want more, come back alive, mmkay?”

Bucky licks his lips before nodding his head in response, pressing a soft kiss to your lips once more. “I promise, now go,” he demands. You bite your lip and nod your head, continuing to walk towards the exit.

-

You sit on the kitchen island counter, swinging your feet as your eyes are glued to the television screen. It’s been a few hours since you arrived at Bucky’s apartment, your eyes widening at the very little furniture he has in the place. A sigh of relief leaves your lips as Sam comes on screen, the newscast recording the speech he’s currently giving.

You can hear the doorknob jiggle and your eyes snap towards the front door, watching Bucky walk through it. “Buck,” you whisper out with a grin on your lips, his blue eyes glancing towards you.

The super-soldier waltz’s over to you before wrapping his arms around your shoulders, bringing you into his chest. “I’m glad you’re alright,” he whispers and you nuzzle your face into his neck, inhaling his scent.

“I could say the same about you,” you tell him while dragging your fingers through his hair.

Bucky pulls away from you and drags his hands down your sides, kissing your forehead softly. “You get everything bandaged up?” He asks you and you nod your head, grinning like a fool.

“Yeah, nothing needed to get bandaged, but I’ll have some killer bruises,” you laugh and Bucky frowns, his eyes casting down to your torso. “I’ll be fine, Bucky.”

"I just worry," he whispers and your heart flutters in your chest. You bring your hand to his face, stroking his cheekbone gently as the brunette leans into your touch.

You lick your lips as you reach into your back pocket before pulling his little booklet out. "I, uh, found this lying open when I got here," you inform the super-soldier and his blue eyes look down at the small notebook. "I crossed my name out for you."

Bucky gently takes the book from your hand and shoves it into his jacket pocket before lacing your fingers with his. "Thank you… for reaching out to me that day."

You grin, leaning forward to kiss his lips gently and Bucky hums into the kiss. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

-

Taglist: @jessalyn-jpeg​ @queen-of-mischief​ @bumblebet-20​

[shydragonrider]

I’m a Mess (Jackson Rippner X Reader)

Request: Jackson Rippner x Emotionally unstable female reader.

Fandom: Red Eye

Warnings: Emotional instability, inadvertent self-harm, anger, grief, anxiety, depression, blood, kidnapping, estranged families, favoritism, sibling rivalry, neglectful parents, angst with a positive ending.

A/N: Writing this now because I am also emotionally unstable and want Jack to make it better...

Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. You told yourself over and over again. Keep it together.

Ha. You weren’t stable under the best circumstances. Being kidnapped was not the best circumstances.

No matter how handsome the kidnapper might be.

‘Collateral, to make sure your parents do what we want them too.’

That’s what he’d told you.

Lashing out, your fist connected to the mirror, shattering it. You looked down at your now bleeding hand, and the splinters of glass sticking out.

You cried. You just wanted to go home. But, you managed to wipe the tears, and put on a brave face.

You unlocked the bathroom door, and saw your kidnapper, Jackson Rippner, standing at the end of the hall.

“I broke your mirror.” You said, your voice dull. Jackson’s shocking blue eyes dropped to your bleeding hand, his stunning blue eyes softening.

“What happened?”

“Take a guess.” You said sullenly, and started to slink past him.

“That needs to be looked at.”

“I can handle it.” This isn’t the first time I’ve picked a fight with glass.

“Sure.” He said, rolling his eyes. He grabbed your upper arm, and pulled you back into the bathroom.

He barely glanced at the shards of mirror on the floor, and got you to sit down on the edge of the bath.

“Do you often pick fights with glass?”

You shrugged, not looking up.

Jackson frowned, and gently lifted your hand, beginning his task of removing the slivers of glass from your knuckles.

You sat still through it all, avoiding his eyes, and refusing to wince no matter how much it might hurt.

Then, the irony of your situation hit you, and you weren’t sure whether to laugh or to cry.

A half sob escaped your lips, and you tried to hold back your tears.

“Are you okay?” Jackson looked genuinely concerned.

“No. I’m a disaster actually. A total mess.” You sniffled. “I just don’t know whether it’s funny or sad that you’re the only person who has ever actually been there for me after... I do shit like this.”

****

Jackson sat back upon hearing your words, seeing the bright pain in your eyes.

“Your family-”

“Only notices to scold me.” You scoffed, tears spilling over your lashes. “I broke a vase when I young, tripped and fell into it... and cut my hands in the process. My mother was more concerned about it than me.”

Jackson didn’t know what to say to that. He had been watching you for weeks, and hated seeing you in pain.

He’d known you were suffering from emotional issues... but not like this.

“If you really wanted leverage against my parents... you should have taken my brother. He’s the favorite... not me.”

You started crying again, and Jackson reached up, gently caressing your cheek with his hand.

Your eyes fixed onto his, but you did not pull away.

“On the bright side, this may finally get their attention.” You said, laughing bitterly.

“(Y/N), it’s going to be okay.” He promised, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

“I highly doubt that.”

Jackson sighed, and went back to bandaging your hand.

“I just want someone who cares.” You sniffled.

At the words, he gently took your jaw in his hand, and kissed you.

***

After recovering from the initial surprise, you found yourself kissing him back.

When you pulled back, he brushed a strand of hair out of your face.

“I care.” He said softly.

***************

It had been three months since you’d run away with Jackson, three months since you started to take steps to improve your well-being. Such as cutting your family out of your life, and speaking to a therapist.

You still struggled with your emotional instability, but Jackson was always right there beside you, helping you get through it. He gave you the support no one else had ever given you.

For the first time in years, you were happy.

[mindofharry]

In which bucky realises the mistake he made and does everything in his power to get you back.

losing you masterlist: here!

smut!! fluff!! angst!! i’m so fucking in love with this series. mean!bucky, sex and a bit of grovelling! ALSO!!! thank you for 2k, i never expected to get this far with this page. writing has always been a passion for me so thank you guys for taking time out of your day to read my stuff. i appreciate and love you all immensely <3 happy reading!

The first thing bucky notices about you not being here, is the how quiet and lonely his apartment is. Usually, your moans, whimpers and giggles fill the small space. Not anymore. The only noise he can hear is you saying those words to him.

“You’re selfish and mean. And i deserve better”

It felt like it was ringing in his ear, no matter how loud the tv is or the children running up and down the hall, it was on a continuous loop. Selfish. Mean. Deserve better. It was meant to be no strings attached, something to let off a little steam. But then bucky got those butterflies, he wanted to take you dancing, take you to meet his friends. He didn’t like the feeling, so he didn’t the only thing he knew how to do.

Push you away.

Bucky didn’t like how he felt with you, he couldn’t understand it. He felt like he couldn’t be that person for you no matter how fucking hard he tried, bucky couldn’t be the one you cuddled up with after a stressful day. He couldn’t be the one cooking dinner for you. And he most definitely can’t be the person loving you, he’s just not programmed for that. Bucky hasn’t felt love in decades. He doesn’t know how to process it yet.

Bucky knew what he did was wrong and now laying on the ground, his back against the hard wood, the only thing he wanted was you. Y/N.

Bucky wanted Y/N.

He decided then and there, he would fix himself up, go to his therapist. And get you back.

Back in your apartment, you were still in your dress, only this time your make up was smudged and your date was cancelled. Who were you kidding? Nobody could replace bucky barnes, nobody. Fuck, you love him so much. This feeling, it’s so big. It feel like it’s taking up all of your body, this fire so big that no one can put out. Bucky is a drug, and you’ve definitely become addicted.

After what felt like hours staring at your wall, you decide it’s best to head to bed and just forget about what a disaster this night has been.

“So” Dr Raynor said, crossing her legs over. Bucky was sat in front of her, his legs bouncing up and down as his therapist tried to figure him out. Bucky hated therapy. He hated everything to do with it, he would rather be put in jail than do this bullshit sharing feelings thing.

But if he wanted any chance of getting you back, in his bed, kissing him than he would do it.

Bucky barnes was officially smitten.

“Tell me” Dr Raynor said, leaning foward. “What’s going on, james?” She asked and bucky sighed placing a hand over his eyes.

“I need help” He said and Dr Raynor nodded. “Well, yeah. That much is obvious” She teased making bucky roll his eyes.

“With a girl” He said and his therapist grunted leaning back in her seat. Bucky hasn’t been this embarrassed since middle school when he peed his pants and had to go home early, everyone laughed at him in the playground. He never forgot that, but right now, his therapist trying to keep her laughs in made him feel a little small and fragile.

“Fine. I’ll find someone else” He mumbled, moving to get up. Dr Raynor settled herself down and held her hand up to stop him. “Oh, be quiet. Tell me about this girl” She said putting her notebook down. Bucky looked down at his hands and smiled.

It almost startled the therapist, she’d never seen him smile like that. Or ever, for that matter.

“Y/N” He started.

“Y/N is the most beautiful and wise woman i’ve ever met” He said. “Always there for me, willing to do just about anything i asked her to do. Fuck, she’s the best thing that’s happened to me, since well ever” Bucky said and the therapist nodded.

“But i fucked it up. Said somethings i didn’t mean and now she won’t even look me in the eye. I was so shitty to her just because i couldn’t admit my own feelings.” Bucky groaned and Dr raynor nodded agreeing.

“James, what do you want me to tell you? You messed up, now go and apologise” She said and buckys eyes widened. “I can’t just apologise to her” He said and his therapist lifted her hand up.

“Exactly. Problem solved”

Bucky made a noise of complaint while dr raynor packed up her stuff. “See you next week, lover boy” she said walking out of the room and leaving bucky to his own thoughts.

Flowers? Chocolates? Dancing? A poem? What do women like you, like these days? God, he’s still way too new in this world to be thinking about these things. But he really fucking needs you. He needs you and your jokes, you and your witty nature.

Bucky just needs you, and he’s about to do anything in his power to get you back, starting with an apology.

You were sitting in your living room a glass of wine in your hand and new girl on in the background. Your mind was somewhere else, you’ve just felt off all day. You keep zoning out, not being able to concentrate. Is this what a broken heart feels like? A knock on the door brings out of your thoughts and back to reality. A shitty fucking reality. You sigh and put your wine down on the table and make your way over the front door, you nearly tripped over your stiletto heels on the way there. You didn’t move them last night because you were so exhausted and out of it.

Opening the door you see bucky. Just the man you didn’t want to see, you begin to close the door in his face when his foot blocks it. “Please, just hear me out” He begged and you sighed crossing your arms over your chest.

“Can i come in?” Bucky asked and you scoffed.

“Why should i let you come in? Do you remember what you did the last time?” You said and bucky placed a hand over his eyes, obviously frustrated. You didn’t understand why, he made your place in his life pretty clear.

“I should come in because i need to apologise to you. For everything. The way i treated you and the things i said. I need to apologise, so please let me in”

You sighed and opened up the door wider and walked down the hallway. You sat back down on the couch taking a gulp of you wine. You were so easy, you thought. You barley put up a fight, you should’ve just closed the door in his face. But you did want to hear what he had to say, what bullshit apology he’d come up with.

“So?” You said and bucky nodded sitting beside you.

“I miss you” He started and you rolled your eyes. “No, fuck. I do miss you, but i’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry” Bucky said grabbing your hand. You wanted to pull away but you just couldn’t, his hand felt so good in yours. You leaned over and put your wine on the coffee table. Bucky took that as permission to take your other hand.

“I had feelings for you, no i have feelings for you. I just, i’m not good at expressing myself, i’m working on it. My therapist told me to get you flowers and shit, but i left them in my apartment and this is just a whole mess” Bucky ranted, you had to bite your lip to make you not burst out with laughter.

“You talked about to your therapist?” You asked, giggling. Fuck, even your laugh is beautiful. What is there not love about you?

“I’m sorry” He said, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles. “I have feelings for you, and i didn’t know how to express that. So i pushed you away and treated you so badly. I’m going to apologise for that until the day i die. I just, i like you a lot Y/N” he said and you could feel your cheeks burn.

You really weren’t expecting that.

“My thought process was that i would never be that person, you know that boyfriend who’s ready to cook dinner and take the dogs for a walk” He said and you nodded understand.

“But i’m willing to do that for you, if you’d give me another chance”

You looked up at him, staring into those beautiful wide eyes. This is what you’ve been waiting for.

“Bucky....”

He moved closer to you bringing a hand to your cheek. “Please, i have hundreds of flowers and like 10 boxes of chocolates back in my apartment. Come back with me? Please?” He asked, so much vulnerability could be heard. You sighed and looked around.

You didn’t deserve what happened, but you know he’s sorry. Maybe a little more grovelling? Make up sex is the best, though. You contemplate a little longer and then nod.

“Yeah, i’ll stay at yours for a bit”

Bucky nearly cried when you said that. Maybe he’d actually have a chance.

He helped you up from the couch and watched you get your shoes. He could get use to this. “You ready?” He asked holding out his hand, you nodded taking it. It felt nice to be wanted.

After a short walk to buckys apartment, your met with (literally hundreds) of yellow flowers. You could cry, he did this all for you? You lift your hand to your mouth and look around the room.

“Do you hate it? I can get better-“

You interrupt him with a peck to the lips. He was shocked, but he didn’t hesitate with kissing you back. He placed both of his hands on the side of your head and as you gasped, he slipped his tongue in.

“Fuck, i missed you” you said in between kisses, you moved your hands to his chest. Bucky pulled away and moved back.

“I just want you to know, that i wasn’t planning on seducing you or anything. If you want i have sex we will, if you don’t, then we’ll watch a movie. There’s no pressure” He said reassuring you. You smirked and pecked his lips.

“Why don’t we go to your bedroom?”

Bucky pulls you along to his room, lifting you up once he opens the door. “Your room is messy” You said and Bucky laughed. “Hasn’t been the same without you” He said and you pouted, kissing his lips.

“I’m sorry about that, let me help you?” You said taking your shirt off, leaving you only in your pjs short and bare breasts. Bucky was staring at you intently, making your nipples harden. He reached out and ran his fingers across your nipples making you moan with pleasure. His finger was cold and just what you needed.

“Strip and then you’re going to ride me. Been too long princess” Bucky said and you nodded quickly taking your shorts and skimpy underwear off.

“Fuck” Bucky said as you lay down on the bed, legs wide open. You were dripping wet, your hands coming down to play with yourself a little. “You’re gorgeous,” He said, kissing the inside of your thigh.

“Seems like you’re wet enough for me, yeah? i’ll play with you more later” He said and you nodded, just wanting him to be in you.

Bucky rolled over and took a condom out from the door, he quickly got out of his clothes and you almost moaned at the sight of him putting on that condom. He really does like hot doing anything.

Bucky lays down his head on his pillow and you quickly and swiftly move to sit on his lap, your knees either side of him.

You placed his cock, in your dripping pussy and loved the sound he made. Bucky groaned, his hands coming to your hips immediately, to guide you at a good pace. Your hands moved to his chest, scratching at it slightly, bucky moaned at that too. Pain kink, you figured that out pretty quickly. You began to move your hips and created a good rhythm.

“Oh, god” You whimpered, as you bounced on Bucky's cock.

“Missed you, and this” Bucky said and you nodded, your hips bucking.

You begin to move faster and faster, the bed frame hitting against the wall and bucky groans and your whimpers the only thing you can hear. God, you missed him and his cock so much. Bucky is so deep inside of you, you can feel everything. He’s so good at this, sometimes he doesn’t even have to try.

“This…. is so good…..” You said whimpering, leaning down to peck his lips. Bucky responded, moving his hands to your breasts and giving them a squeeze.

“Are you gonna cum?” He asked, bucking his hips up fucking you faster. You nodded and moaned.

“Please! Oh fuck” You screamed, feeling that pleasure start to build up. As the both of you came down from your highs, bucky brought you into his chest.

“I’m never losing you again”

Taglist: @formulamendes @ityagirljay @josegandulfo @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @beminetokeep @jbcalway @lxdyred @idkwhttocallmysrlf <33

[floraltypes]

Old Beginning Pt. 2

pairings - aaron hotchner x reader, jethro gibbs x reader

chapters - one 

summary - the news of a dinner party arrises, but there are some little challenges before the actually night

wc - 3k

an - sorry this took awhile, my summer is over and my writing schedule will be a little wonky now. i’m taking a break from answering requests, so I apologize if I haven’t answered yours, but i eventually will

Penelope and you both looked back at Aaron, taken back by his repeating of the word ‘boyfriend’. You didn’t plan on telling people so soon, considering he was your boss from your old line of work.

“I want to know everything about him, you have to invite him!” Penelope quickly went back into her loud chatting, attracting other faces at her comment. “I also may have mentioned to some of the team that you do have a boyfriend, it just slipped! You know I can’t keep secrets!”

“It’s okay, Pene,” You smiled softly. “I can’t invite him though, you know, since I’m not the one holding the dinner event.”

“You can invite your partner, everyone else can as well, considering it is a catch up,” Dave walked over, a cup of coffee in his own hand as he used the other to scratch at his stubble. “I’ll even invite the woman I’ve been seeing. Feel free to all bring a plus one, I have enough room and everyone deserves a taste of my Italian dishes, will change their lives.”

“Thank you, Rossi, but I simply can’t. It’s so soon, and he’s such a busy man,” You laughed, waving your hand. “It was a kind gesture though.”

“L/n, don’t tell us you’re embarrassed to show your new boyfriend to us?” Derek walked back over, poking your shoulder. “Penelope told all of us down here, just wanted to wait and see when you would tell us.”

“I’m not embarrassed, that’s absurd. He’s truly busy.”

“Invite him, I’ll make sure Will comes and hire a babysitter for Henry, so that we can truly have a adult night,” JJ chuckled. “Everyone is bringing a date, so it would be odd if you didn’t.”

“Actually, I don’t have a partner at the moment due to how invested I am in my studies and the factors of that many young woman my age only focus on the factor of conventional attractiveness rather then the complexity of brains and deep-”

“Don’t worry, Spencer, if you don’t have a date, then I’ll just bring two,” Emily joked. “You don’t need a date, I’m not bringing one either, but Y/n is for sure.”

“I’ll be like the tw-”

“You are dating someone, we aren’t, so you’ll bring that someone. Come on, L/n,” Emily continued on, grabbing your hand and pulling you away. “I’ll walk you out,” She turned back to wink at her coworkers, leading you to the elevator and soon the parking lot.

“Aaron,” Rossi looked towards his friend, a man who had his glare fixated on your exiting figure. “Will you bring Beth, the more the merrier.”

“Yeah, I suppose I will,” He answered, retrieving his cellphone from his pocket, pulling up her contact picture, thumb hovering over the call button. “Let’s finish up this work, so we call all get home.” He shoved it back in his pocket, commanding everyone else while moving back up the stairs to his office.

Meanwhile, you were outside of your car, looking at Emily still was right by your side.

“Bring your boyfriend,” She commented, watching as you fished for your keys and unlocked your car. “I want to meet him, I haven’t really talked to you in a long time.”

“We’re both so busy. Him as well.”

“Seriously, Y/n, I’m not gonna ease up on you. I’ve noticed the new tint in your eye, new considering the last time it was severely dulled. It’s amazing to see your real smile again, you closer to your old self despite the past losses. He really has helped you, so I want to meet the man who helped my dear friend so much.”

You contemplated her kind words, getting down to the point that everyone probably was happy to see you again, yourself physically and mentally.

“I’ll call him, see if he can come. Can’t promise anything, his work is very important to him, so if it needs him he’s there.”

Emily smiled widely, leaning over to kiss your cheek before you moved to open the front door and start your car.

“Great, I’m actually bringing someone. Poor Spencer might be the only one.”

“Aaron is as well?”

“Hotch, yeah,” She laughed. “Meet her at some track meet he had, Jack really likes her.”

“That’s good, I’ll see you soon then,” You smiled, shutting the door as Emily watched you back out, waving a small goodbye.

Leaving the facility, while at a stop light, you found your flip phone, finding the contact of Jethro and quickly dialing the number.

“Gibbs,” He answered.

“Hey, are you on a case?”

“No, are you driving?”

“Yes, safely. What are you doing? Building a boat,” You chuckled, imagining him in the basement with the tool and sweaty shirt.

“Yeah. Did you meet up with your old team today?”

“Mhm, all surprised to see me today. It was humorous in a sense. But, Rossi invited me and everyone to a dinner, telling us to bring a partner.”

“Who are you planning on bringing?”

“You.”

“So, we’re being more public with our relationship?”

“Just with the old team, my old team, they don’t have contact with anyone apart of NCIS, or at least not personal only professional.”

“I thought you were going to come and see me, instead of making me drive,” You could almost sense his smile on the other line, a mocking one.

Gibbs would obviously accept the offer, the man truly holding a strong affection for you, a soft spot personally for you, so he would agree to drive the hour or two.

But just because he would, it doesn’t mean he didn’t have to mess around a bit, act like he wouldn’t.

“I know, but then you can see my new apartment. And after this weekend, who knows when we’ll be able to see each other again. Both of our jobs involved sporadic cases that start and end at no specific time, hard to plan around. And, everyone is pressuring me to meet you.”

“I’m already popular, huh?”

“I suppose,” You huffed, rubbing your temple, exhaustion starting to take over you, wanting to get some rest, a calming bath to combat earlier feelings that seemed as if they were creeping up once again.

“I’ll come, don’t worry. Get home safe, call me when you have the address and date.”

“Okay, bye.” You hung up, tossing the phone onto the empty seat as you continued to drive, playing the music from the CD already inserted in your car.

Time leading up to the dinner seemed to fly by, especially considering that it wasn’t much time and you weren’t having to work. You decided to take the free time to get fully settled in, figure out your nerves, make a phone call to your therapist, and even read. Trying to get prepared for all the days that are to come.

Your hair was now being changed from its normal du to a new one, fancier in a sense. Applying a nice coat of makeup, new lip color, trying a new pallet and the old eyelash curler that hasn’t been used in a while, you finished ‘upgrading’ your face. A outfit was simple, considering you didn’t have many fancy ones, so with not much to choose, it was a quick decision.

Sliding that on and fixing the straps to be a bit tighter, messing with the bra to fit correctly, and pulling it down a bit, you grabbed your go to purse, shoving needed materials a into it as you moved to the kitchen.

Within the kitchen, there was a certain door within the wall of the pantry with a password. Quickly typing in the combination the door swung open, choosing between a small but handy knife, you put in the pocket of your bag.

You weren’t too worried about dangers at the dinner, but with years of catching/fighting murders, specific people after you, and even very powerful assassins, you carried certain weapons for safety.

Hearing the sturdy knock of someone’s knuckles on your front door, you rushed to shut the the secret door in the pantry, heading to your front door where someone was waiting.

A quick peak through the hole, your eyes widened in surprise and opened the door, allowing the man to walk in.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you, till uh, later tonight,” You mentioned, looking him up and down to see him more dressed up. “Are you not able to attend anymore?”

“No, I’m still going,” Hotch denied, sliding off his shoes and following you to the couch. “I just wanted to chat before than, a chance for just the two of us.”

“Is something wrong?” You walked over to your teapot, filling it with water, and placing it on your stove, heating up the water. “This is very unexpected.”

“Nothing is wrong. I just want to talk to you, see the apartment, hear what’s new with you.”

“Things,” You shrugged. “Obviously I’ve had a new job experience, similar in ways and also not. Grew closer with a new group of teammates, people, lost a few. Yeah, lost a few,” You repeated, remembering Jenny Shepard, even Kate, both amazing women, who did amazing things.

“That’s always hard, I guess my most recent loss was Haley,” Aaron hummed, soon the kettle making a high pitched noise, you rushing to take it off and grab some tea bags.

“She was also a amazing woman. Wonderful mother, cared so much for that little boy.”

“She really was.”

“Did you come to chat about her, it’s been a while since we had. Last time we really talked was five months after she passed, after the funeral.”

“It really has been that long?” Aaron questioned, taking the tea that you time handed him. “But it’s not the reason I came. I should have made more of a effort to keep in touch, after your transfer, after your loss.”

“You stayed with me for three months, allowing to lose some time with your son so you could change my dirty sheets and pick up all my snotty tissues,” You laughed, sitting down across from him with your own cup. “You had to get back to your family, make up for loss time.”

“You still helped me with my divorce during that time, and I still saw Jack,” He reminded you.

“I could’ve moved in with my father, but you allowed me not to do that.”

“Your father is a good man, but might not be the best to live with,” He laughed, a deep chuckle, something you didn’t see much. “You look nice.”

“Now you just notice,” You chuckle, taking another sip. “Thank you, you look nice as well. I was actually just going to call Jethro and tell him to meet me there, a bit of a drive and he isn’t happy about having to find a new team,” You spoke freely, feeling comfortable with the old friend, one you used to spill everything to years ago, him ranting to you too.

“Jethro? He has his own team? Sounds like a boss of some type.”

“Uh, technically. It’s complicated. I need to get going, to make it to the dinner on time and, finish, um, cleaning up my room before leaving.”

“I could take you there.”

“No thanks, I’ll see you there, bye.” You helped guide him to the door, a curt wave before he exited and shut it, locking it in a rush and moving back to the dining room table to clean the mugs.

You didn’t want to tell him all that, always insecure due to Gibbs being the prior boss of you and how people looked at that. Rumors were always spread about your and Aaron’s relationship, mostly about it being romantic.

Joining the team, you two easily hit it off due to your personalities. Always being filled with determination and stubbornness, refusing to give up till everything was done and right, even with files. Eventually you joined together, talked, spent most days with each other due to cases, and truly gained a very close friendship.

When rumors were getting around, glares were thrown your way, comments, left out by members who weren’t your immediate teams. People thought you were the cause of Haley and Aaron’s divorce, somehow word got around quickly, drama always does.

It was frustrating, already dealing with many different things at home, and even being in a relationship, it put so much unneeded stress and anxiety onto you.

So, getting into a relationship with Gibbs was a very reluctant thing on your part, he expressed his feelings first, but it was hard to accept them, despite the nerves he faced to do it.

Locking up the apartment, having all of your items with you, you made your way out the door and too your car, starting the drive to David’s house.

Upon arriving, you could hear light chatter in the home, lights on, and soothing music playing in the background. It sounded like everyone was having their fun, you couldn’t make out all the shadows of everyone indoors, just waiting outside for Jethro to arrive.

“Y/n?” You turned around at the sound of his voice, keys jingling in his hands as he walked up to you with a sly smile, shoving them in his pockets to place his arms around your waist. “What’s wrong, love?” Be snaked them around, a kiss to your somewhat clothed shoulder.

“Nothing, just a bit nervous to introduce you to everyone,” You smiled back at him, he squeezed a little tighter, catching your lips in a quick kiss. “Looking at your team, yet?”

“Nevermind that,” He grumbled, removing his hands to now interlace your left one with his right. “We should go in, right?”

“Maybe we could head back, to my place, say you are sick or something?” You looked back at him with a pleading look, to which he just chuckled at, starting to move to the front door, pressing the doorbell as you groaned a little.

“You’ll be fine,” He looked back at you as Rossi answered the door, cheerful smile on his lips, glass of scotch in hand as he moved out of the way to let you in.

“Ah! Y/n!” He cheered, leaning over to kiss your cheek and then pulled back. “Glad you made it! This must be…”

“Y/n! Oh where is the man?” Penelope rushed in, coming right by you with her own fruity drink, then leaning to whisper in your ear. “Is this him, oo!”

“Uh, Jethro that’s David,” You pointed to the man who first greeted you, him and Jethro shaking hands. “This is Penelope, the one kind of like Abby,” You smiled, as she gave you a little look, turning back and enveloping him in a little hug. She quickly turned back to you.

“He looks a little intimidating,” She whispered as you just laughed.

“For sure,” You nodded.

“Can I offer you a drink?” David turned to you two, gesturing to the one in his hand. “Something like Garcia for you Y/n, and what about you Jethro?”

“Just call me Gibbs, and yeah that’s fine,” He corrected Rossi, taking your hand as the two of you walked more inside of the magnificent house.

It truly was so well designed, very expensive, and the appetizers adorning the oak wood table looked very delicious. You wanted to go and grab a bite, before you were actually led to the living room where everyone was currently sitting.

“L/n, finally made it,” Derek laughed, beer in his hand as he pointed at you with a little chuckle. “You always know how to be a bit late.”

“Fashionably late, I believe that’s what it’s called,” JJ corrected them with her own wine glass in hand, Will sat right besides her on one of the couch as most of them in that room joined in laughter.

“What can I say?” You laughed, walking over, feeling less nervous with the factor of introducing your boyfriend, taking a seat on another couch in the large room, Jethro automatically sitting right besides you.

“So, introduce us,” Emily motioned over to Jethro, sly smile playing on her lips.

“This is Jethro, but he goes by Gibbs, and, uh, this is the team,” You started to name everyone off while pointing to them, leaving off a few names due to your members introducing their own partners to you.

Emily, Derek, and JJ had all brought partners. Spencer and Penelope decided to ‘go together’ as if they were partners, and Hotch hadn’t arrived yet. Rossi also had his girlfriend helping him cook in the kitchen, making drinks for you and Gibbs now.

“So, you work at NCIS, right?” Spencer questioned. “The Naval Criminal Investigative Service, very interesting considering the type of crimes you investigate. I would love to hear more about some of your cases and how you went about it,” Spencer smiled, a small notebook being pulled out of his pocket with a pen.

“Yeah,” Gibbs just nodded, looking at you a little questioning, which you just chuckled at.

“Why should we talk so much about work, it’s something we all do too much of,” You joked, everyone laughing, as Dave came back out, handing some drinks.

“Fine, fine, what do you do for fun Mr. Gibbs?” Derek asked, putting a arm over the couch and pulling his girl closer to his side, the woman just on her phone.

“I like to build boats, a type of hobbie I’ve been doing for years.”

“Building boats? Where?” Will wondered, intertwining his fingers with JJ.

“My basement, a private workspace.”

“How do you get it out then?” Penelope inquired, now back by Spencer and her face in her hand, leaning closer to show her interest in Gibbs statement.

“I’d be no fun if you knew that,” He shrugged, taking a drink with a small smile as Penelope gasped, Emily mouthing how ‘I like him’. It was sweet how everything was going well.

They all continued to converse with Gibbs, easily accepting him apart of the conversation, it was sweet and you were now on your second drink, practically all nerves gone.

“Sorry we’re late,” A voice mentioned in the hallway, dressed in a fine suit with a beautiful woman standing besides him. He shrugged off the last of his coat as he hung it up, taking her hand and walking into the hallway a little.

“This is such a nice place, Aaron. Oh! Your friend, wow, so grand,” The woman admired, now truly getting in your line of sight.

“Yeah,” He mumbled, eyes interlocking with yours before falling onto Gibbs. “I’m Aaron, call me Hotch.”

“I’m Gibbs,” Your boyfriend stood up, moving over to the other man with his hand stuck out. “Call me that.”

You had a feeling this evening wouldn’t be as smooth as you hoped.

——————

taglist - @wolviesbabes @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

(comment to be added, or a tag list for all my gibbs post)

[mellowswriting]

Nightmare

pairing || Bucky Barnes x Reader

summary || Bucky struggles to calm down after a particularly rough nightmare - it’s a good thing you’re there to lend him a hand.

word count || 1,799

warnings || hurt and comfort, love confessions

a/n || So I started writing this before the first episode of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier even came out (because I’m incorrigible) so if it’s a little off, that’s why. As someone who’s gone through all that fun trauma-based therapy, seeing Bucky working on himself is validating as fuck. I tried to emphasize that while a good relationship can help after trauma, it doesn’t complete the healing process or suddenly make a person whole. Anyway, enjoy!

Main Masterlist  |  Join the taglist!

“Bucky?” Your voice cracked, still thick with sleep. “Why are you on the floor?”

“I…” Bucky started but his words failed him. He couldn’t find a way to tell you about it without feeling like he was gutting himself, without bringing the images right back up to torment him all over again. The vulnerability left him trembling, dog tags clinking quietly against his bare chest with every heaving breath.

But he didn’t need to say it. You just nodded and sat down next to him on the blanket he had spread out on the hard floor. Remnants still prickled at the back of his neck, images and echoes of gunfire and that wide open emptiness that cracked his chest on every mission, but he got some small peace from your presence. He felt just a bit safer at the feeling of your knee pressed to his lightly. You didn’t probe him about it, didn’t try to weasel out details, and he was thankful. Instead you offered him your hand and in turn, offered your quiet support, and he gratefully slid his fingers up your palm to curl with your own.

The pressure of your fingers holding him was grounding, kept him in the reality of what was actually happening around him. He wasn’t in that building. He didn’t have a gun in his hand. He wasn’t trapped behind a wall in his own mind. He was at home, sitting cross-legged on his living room floor. He held your hand in his, the softness of your skin against his a sharp contrast to the imagined bite of gunmetal.

He was right there. So were you.

Your thumb slid up and down over his as you tentatively started speaking. “I used to click my tongue to keep myself grounded after nightmares.”

Bucky glanced at you, eyebrows raised. “Really?”

“Yeah, I know it seems silly, but it worked for me more often than not.” You said with a small chuckle. “Sometimes I would have to tap if the clicking thing wasn’t working. It drove Tony crazy. He always said he could hear it all throughout the compound, but I think he was bullshitting. And if the tapping didn’t work, I would do sprints until my legs couldn’t hold me up anymore.”

Bucky took a long, deep breath the way his therapist taught him during their first session. Your voice was so calming. “Keep talking?”

“Of course.” You murmured. “It’s cheesy as hell, but they do get easier to deal with. The nightmares, I mean. The more you work at it, the less… vivid they are. I still get pretty bad ones every now and then, but even those are a little easier to come down from.”

“I hope you’re right.” He said.

“Well, you’re in therapy - even if it’s mandatory, you’re still showing up. Still putting in the effort. You’re sleeping semi-regularly, eating somewhat healthy. Trust me, you’re doing better than you realize. It takes a minute for you to ease out of survival mode, so it can be hard to tell how far you’ve already come.” You squeezed his hand lightly. “I’m proud of you, Bucky.”

A breath caught in his chest as he turned to look at you where you leaned your head back against the wall. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Well, you did save me from getting shot that one time.” You teased and Bucky laughed quietly, a genuine one that seemed to surprise you. “But seriously. You’re a good person, that’s all you have to do.”

“No, I’m not.” The laugh turned self-deprecating. “I don’t have to tell you that, either. I know you’ve read the files.”

“That wasn’t you. That was Hydra.” Your free hand pressed against his bare chest, right over his heart. “This is you. You aren’t what they put in your head. You’re the person who went out and bought me a new coffeemaker in the middle of the night when mine broke so I wouldn’t have to go without caffeine the next morning. You’re the person who's mowed Mrs. Franklin’s yard twice a month since her husband passed. You’re the person who is working their ass off to get better.”

There weren’t words. He didn’t have them, the ones that could tell you how much he appreciated you, how much you meant to him. So he covered the hand you placed on his chest with his own, wishing he could actually feel you, but the prosthetic had its limitations with the enhancements given by the vibranium. You nodded at him, a quiet acknowledgement of his thanks.

Silence fell over you both. It was a comfortable one, not the heavy, oppressive silence that curled around him in the moments after waking. Your hand fell away from his chest, much to his disappointment. The skin against skin was comforting. A moment later you shifted onto your knees, ready to stand and seemingly leave him there, and Bucky tightened his grip on your hand instinctually.

“Please… don’t go.” His voice was small.

“I’m just going to get you some water. I’ll be right back, I promise.”

And you did. You returned less than a minute later and handed him a glass of cool water, watching him take a few sips until you were satisfied, and then stole a sip for yourself. Bucky couldn’t help the small smile that found him at the sight as you settled back in next to him and offered him your hand once more. He took it, but didn’t interlock your fingers like before. Instead he lifted your hand to his face and pressed your palm against his cheek, eyes falling closed at your cool skin against his warmth. Your thumb rubbed small circles along his cheekbone and when he opened his eyes again, you were looking at him almost thoughtfully. Impulsively, Bucky tilted his head slightly and kissed the delicate skin of your wrist and he could hear your breath stutter in your chest.

“Bucky…” You whispered, worry suddenly played across your features.

“I talk about you in therapy, you know.” He whispered, his heart jumping in his chest at the prospect of telling you about it, admitting his vulnerability. “I told her about how you make me feel… seen. And safe. I told her about how I always think about you. About… kissing you. And making you laugh.”

You swallowed, the sound louder in the resounding silence of three a.m confessions. “And what did she say?”

“That she could tell I was in love with you before I would even admit it to myself.” He whispered the words as if breathing them to life would make the very earth crumble at his feet.

“I couldn't live with myself if I got in the way of your healing.” You said and his heart soared in his chest. You weren't rejecting him, weren't pulling away in disgust or fear. No, you were putting his needs first - or rather, what you perceived his needs to be.

“Part of my healing is supposed to be building relationships, you know.” There was a small smile on his face at the very thought of it - of falling asleep and waking next to you each morning, of finally getting to kiss and touch you like he craved for so long.

“So… we take it slow?” You said and Bucky watched your eyes flick down to his lips before meeting his gaze again, your body leaning closer as if drawn in by the very gravity that held you to the earth.

“Yeah, we take…” Bucky leaned in, meeting you halfway, your lips a hairsbreadth apart. “...it…” You brushed your nose against his gently and he sighed contentedly, eyes finally falling closed. “...slow…”

The first press of your lips to his was soft. It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time, the simple pleasure of a kiss, and the fact that it was you only made it all the better. He relaxed against you, pulling you closer by a hand on your waist and angling himself to deepen the kiss. Your gasp against his lips was addictive, something he could happily spend the rest of his life seeking out.

A shudder ran down Bucky’s spine at the feeling of your hand sliding up from his cheek to tangle in his hair, the short cropped style barely enough for you to grab onto. Fuck, you felt so good, he could lose himself in you without regret, could drown in the bliss that washed over him and -

He pulled away gently, offering one last peck against your lips as a parting gift, and pressed his forehead to yours to catch his breath, to calm himself down. He had to go slow and going slow decidedly was not dragging you onto his living room floor and finally letting his hands roam underneath your soft pajamas. You chuckled quietly and that was what got him to lean back and look at you again, dumbstruck by the dazed, happy look on your face.

“You’re good at that,” You whispered, earning you a bashful laugh.

“So are you.” Bucky sighed, the heavy weight of sleepiness gathering at his shoulders. “I need to try to go back to sleep… join me?”

“I think this floor would kill my back, sweetheart.” You teased and holy shit, his heart soared in his chest.

Sweetheart. He was your sweetheart.

“I was thinking we could share my bed, but if you’re gonna tease me -”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Barnes.” You surprised him with another kiss before climbing to your feet, your hand reaching out to pull him up with you.

He couldn’t help but feel amazed at the sight of you climbing into his bed, settling right into his rumpled sheets and looking up at him expectantly. He wasn’t going to leave you waiting, not when he finally got you right where he wanted you. You yawned as you brought him closer to lay his head against your chest and he melted right into you. Bucky curled his arm around your middle, effectively bringing your bodies completely flush against each other.

“You’re so warm, Buck.” You mumbled, sleepiness already warping your voice.

Bucky just hummed, his own exhaustion finally seeping back into his body now that the remnants of paranoid tension eased away at the steady sound of your heartbeat reverberating against his ear. Your hand rested against the top of his head to tease at his hair once more, and it was that gentle affection that had his eyes falling closed. At peace for the moment, his mind let him fall back into sleep, knowing that when the nightmares inevitably found him once more, he would have you there to help guide him back to where he belonged.

Right in your arms.