#my terrible irreparable husband

[tugpull]

HERE HE IS-

[ohthewh0rror]

ETERNALLY YOURS.

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt — The follow up to ‘I’ve Dug Two Graves For Us, My Dear.’ Now that your marriage has been irreparably damaged, where do the two of you go from here?

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

Word count: 2k

A/N: I changed my mind after writing a completely different ending. At first I wanted to make it angst-filled and unhappy but I keep writing sad stuff, and you guys deserve a break. Thank you to my best friend Madie for proof-reading/editing this once again and to @brooklynscherry-z for helping me get a better understanding of Tom & Mattheo’s lore. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this (much shorter) continuation to ‘I’ve Dug Two Graves For Us, My Dear”!

“A letter arrived for you this morning, Y/N,” came the soft voice of your great aunt Delia, her wrinkled hand holding the letter out for you. For a second you were confused, unsure of who would have sent you a letter, especially at such an early hour, until it dawned on you.

Your husband.

A pang of hurt hit your heart at the thought of him. It had been two months since you had seen or spoken to him and though you hated him, another, smaller, part of you missed him terribly. He had been your first love and dearest friend, and his infidelity wasn’t enough to completely erase the love you’ve held for him since the two of you were only seventeen.

As you held the letter in your hands you contemplated not opening it, to instead toss it in the trash and forget it ever arrived. You eyed the entrance to the kitchens, the trash was right through that door, you could throw it away and leave the contents of the letter a mystery. But, as you turned the letter over in your hands, you felt curiosity eating at the back of your mind, beckoning you to open the letter and dissect its contents.

‘Well…it couldn’t hurt,’ you thought, gently unfolding the parchment. As your eyes skimmed over the opening of the letter, you soon realized this was not a letter you should read in the company of others. Folding the letter back up, you looked at your aunt, asking “may I be excused?”

Her eyes darted between the parchment and your eyes, and she looked as if she wanted to ask you something but she waved you off instead, wordlessly telling you that you may take your leave.

You gave her a nod of gratitude before heading to the room you were staying in, trying your hardest to seem normal. Once you entered your room, you made sure to lock the doors and cast a silencing charm for good measure. You did not want your aunt to hear you in the event that you became upset.

Sitting at the desk in the corner of your room, you unfolded the letter and began to read it once again.

Dear Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you well. It has been two months since I have seen or spoken to you, and I must admit that I miss you more than I thought myself capable of. I understand that what I did was unforgivable in your eyes, but I hope by telling you everything it will help you process what is going on so we may move forward from this.

A year ago I approached Bellatrix with the proposition of conceiving and carrying my heir. I explained I did this out of a need to produce an heir and you had not been able to get pregnant yourself. Once she had the child, the child would be ours to raise, she was merely going to be a surrogate of sorts; she understood and agreed to the terms and from there we began the affair.

She finally fell pregnant 6 months ago with a boy. While I should've told you about my plans before approaching her, I most definitely should have told you once she was with child. I am sincerely sorry that you found out the way you did. I wish I could have told you myself, under better circumstances.

Please consider coming back home so that we may be a proper family.

Eternally yours, Tom

You felt a few tears slip out and drip from your eyes onto the parchment, smearing the ink that stained the page with its terrible words. Oh how you wish he hadn’t written to you. His answers did not bring any form of acceptance of his actions, only further heartbreak. It was hard for you to comprehend how he could have sex with her and then return home to you as if all was normal.

“Reducio,” you muttered, shrinking the letter. You carefully folded it, being sure not to rip it, before you got out of your seat and made your way to your closet. On the top shelf, in the furthest corner, sat an intricately carved wooden box with flowers lining the top and sides. The initials M.R sat right above the lock. You conjured a small stepping stool, but even with the stool you were still unable to reach it, leaving yourself to blindly swipe your hand across the shelf till you finally felt your fingers bump the edge.

With what you were looking for finally in your grasp, you got off the stool and went back to your desk. You sat down again, reaching towards one of the desk drawers, and pulling it open to retrieve the small key for the box. As soon as the lock clicked, you opened the top, revealing an empty interior.

The box was made to hold important milestone objects and keepsakes for your son. You planned to fill it with your own letters and pictures so that you could look back on it when he is older and no longer needs you, to remind yourself of simpler times. You hadn’t planned on putting anything related to Tom in there. The thought of him was far too painful, and you didn’t want to taint the little bits of happiness within.

Taking the shrunken letter you placed it in the box before sliding off your wedding ring and putting it on top of the letter. As you closed the box once again, you felt as if you were also closing the metaphorical lid on your marriage. You wouldn’t grace Tom with your presence, a simple letter would have to suffice as you decided you were going to effectively cut him out of your life.

Dear Tom,

I will keep this letter simple and to the point. I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to take some form of accountability for your actions, as I know it’s not something that comes easy to you. But, I will not be returning home nor will we be playing at being a happy family. If you want to be a family as badly as you say, then leave our marriage intact but let us live separate lives. Don’t worry, I do not plan to date or remarry, for you are my first and final love.

That all being said, do not contact me again unless it is with divorce proceedings.

P.s. congratulations on the heir you always wanted.

Sincerely, Y/N

Putting your quill down, you read over the letter one more time to be sure this was what you wanted your final words to him to be. Satisfied with what you wrote, you got out of your chair once again and left the room, heading towards the back garden where you knew the owl belonging to your aunt would be.

Walking into the small building that housed her owl you saw the bird, Chipp, still here and not away delivering mail for your aunt. You gave Chipp a few treats as a thank you for going out in the cold for delivering this letter for you before holding the letter out for the owl to take. Chipp happily took the parchment and flew off to take the letter to its recipient.

That was the last time you spoke to Tom. As the months turned to years, Tom became a distant, painful memory.

11 years later

“Mattheo! Wait up!” You called out to your son, as he excitedly ran ahead of you. You were winded trying to keep up with him, trying hard not to lose him in the crowd of teary-eyed mothers and nervous children. When you finally caught up to him, you grabbed him by the shoulder, halting him. “I understand you’re excited, but will you try not to run off,” you were panting slightly, “I would at least like to tell you goodbye.”

Mattheo looked exasperated, trying already to seem too cool to tell his mother bye. “But mum—” he started, trying to justify his running off. “No buts; now, let me see you,” you said, motioning him to turn around. He groaned, turning around to face you. You held him by his arms in front of you, “listen, and actually listen to me for once; listen to your professors and don’t cause trouble, I know how—” you paused mid sentence when something out of the corner of your eye caught your attention.

It was your husband.

Your husband, who you hadn’t seen in 11 years, with a young boy standing beside him. The two of you locked eyes and you felt a wave of discomfort hit you. How could you have been so stupid? Of course he would be here, his son and Mattheo are close in age, they’d obviously go to school together.

You decided to skip the speech and quickly walk further up the platform, trying to put more room between you and Tom. You didn’t want Tom to approach you and attempt to talk to you or your son. Mattheo didn’t need to go through such a confusing altercation on such an important day. This day was only about him and you wanted it to be special.

Once you put a satisfying amount of room between the two of you, you stopped and your son decided to ask why that man was staring at you. Waving him off, you explained, “he’s just someone I used to know, that’s all.” Mattheo looked like he had more questions, but you didn’t give him the chance to ask them. Instead, you gave him a parting kiss on the forehead and told him goodbye before all but pushing him onto the train.

You backed away and watched Mattheo walk further into the train before he finally disappeared from sight. You felt your eyes well up with tears at the reality of your son leaving for Hogwarts, giving you definitive proof of how old he was getting. It made you wish you possessed a time turner, just so you could go back to the beginning and do it all over again.

As you shuffled back toward the exit, you were lost in thought over how Mattheo would do at Hogwarts. What house would he be in? Would he make friends? How would he do academically? You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed someone closing in on you until it was too late.

You felt a hand wrap around your bicep and pull you back slightly causing you to stumble into their chest. You whipped around, about to give the owner of the offending hand a piece of your mind when you saw who was touching you.

Tom looked at you, and though his face remained neutral, you swear you saw a glint of hurt in his eyes. He released your arm only to place a hand on the small of your back, “walk with me, Y/N?”

You hesitated for a second before giving him a small nod and walking with him back towards the entrance to platform 9 ¾. There was a moment of tense, awkward silence before he spoke.

“What is his name?” Tom asked. You thought about whether you wanted to tell him or not, as you knew where this conversation was headed.

“Mattheo,” was all you said. Not giving away his full name, as you weren’t ready to admit you’d given him Tom’s last name.

Tom went silent again and you looked up to see him deep in thought. Not wanting to make the situation any more uncomfortable by just staring at him, you looked away, waiting for him to speak once again. Though, once he spoke, you wish he had kept the awkward silence between you two.

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

Taglist: @the-sweet-psycho @mypolicemanharryyy @jessysfangirlworld @homan-oid @motherofdragons1998 @theeslutintheroom @pasta01 @lovefks @mwahbella @storminacloud @brooklynscherry-z @eri-s-big-sis @eversei @tomhollandisabae @rlblackbarbie @cyphah @cookielovesbook-akie

[ccatskies]

this is my take on the initial episodes of queen of tears: so, um. hyunwoo’s reaction to haein dying. a lot of people were immediately put off by it and dropped the drama, calling him an asshole. i wouldn’t say the reaction wasn’t a little uncomfortable to watch as a viewer, but that’s only the case if you’ve never put yourself in the shoes of someone suffering immensely from a dysfunctional relationship.

the lack of overt affection was destroying him because his wife is so closed off and would rather care for him in a way that is impossible to be acknowledged by him, she humiliated him in front of his employees and he had to respond w “yes, ma’am” despite not agreeing w her bc she’s his boss, she didn’t stand up for him vocally when her family was berating him to no end, plus the family made him do their household chores against his will. he had to walk on eggshells around them, especially his wife.

it was so bad that there were multiple scenes where his hands were clenched together, trembling. he went to therapy and got strong anxiety meds prescribed in return. this abysmal marriage was crippling him emotionally and mentally (it’s safe to say haein put him through emotional abuse, even if she didn’t intend to affect him that way)

his initial plan was to divorce haein because he couldn’t take it any longer, even if it meant his multimillionaire father-in-law was going to stab him in the back (figure of speech). in fact, he preferred being stabbed over having to face the vengeance of the hong family.

the “window fantasy” isn’t fictional. there are multiple women, unwillingly dependent on their narcissistic husbands (not only bc they can’t go anywhere since their working opportunities have been sabotaged but also bc a bad rep will follow them if they leave or don’t yield to their husbands; tldr: there are consequences to leaving), that have wanted to be widowed at some point bc they couldn’t bear the trauma of the marriage. growing up in a south asian society, i know a thing or two about being stuck in traumatic marriages and the only way being out is if your partner somehow dies.

no one would invalidate an abuse victim if they wanted their abuser to die. so, are these women any different just bc they agreed to the marriage when their partner swore to carry out their commitment? only to find out none of their needs are being met and they’re stuck? are they not being abused?

so, people, to an extent, DO justify it when women want their toxic husbands to die because of terrible life situations.

now, back to QoT. i saw someone on twitter say that if the roles were reversed i.e if haein was the one who was wishing for hyunwoo to die, they’d be okay with it bc “yess go get revenge on your toxic husband and free yourself girl” bc misogyny is a systematic thing. it’s not easy to escape abusive husbands in our society especially when they hold power over their partner.

so, for the opposite to happen i.e the husband wanting his wife to die just looks “bad.”

however, queen of tears is a show where it is blatantly obvious that the gender roles are reversed. something that even my younger brother pointed out seamlessly. the hong “queens” family think they’re progressive for making their sons-in-law do their chores for them (something they did not sign up for). this is how many daughters-in-law are treated in modern society. the only reason “misandry” feels more real in the show, in terms of the hong family, is bc the women of this family certainly hold more power over the sons-in-law because of CLASS. haein is a multimillionaire’s daughter while hyunwoo is a villager’s son. they could easily take revenge on his family in irreparable ways. class distinction exists, power exists, abuse exists.

with all that in mind, hyunwoo might as well have been going through the “widow fantasy” where if he left his wife willingly, he’d have to suffer and if he chose to stay, he’d still need to suffer. the only way out was haein not being in his life anymore without him having to do anything.

it sounds cruel but it’s obvious he was pushed to the edge. he wanted to escape the trauma and it should also be noted that by then, he was completely out of love with haein (he told his therapist that he despised his wife the most). how much can you sympathize w someone you can’t even look at without feeling small?

so, in that period, he must’ve went through an overwhelming amount of emotions while he was on survival mode, not allowing him to think straight, or even consider what he had w haein in the past bc much of that was long gone. furthermore, i don’t think he would’ve been that obsessed w the will revision if yanggi didn’t motivate him to think that way, with the intentions of getting compensation for their poor excuse of a marriage.

so yeah, i wouldn’t say he was being a good husband to her initially. but rather, he was being selfish… by looking out for himself for once. he’s always had to clean up the hong family’s mess, looking after their reputation, never getting peace of his own.

then again, it takes two to tango and the marriage failed bc of both hyunwoo and haein’s lack of efforts. but i would say it was more complicated for hyunwoo bc haein always kept him guessing (and she was indecisive as well; the wedding anniversary issue) and he’s grown up in a pretty communicative family, so not taking his partner’s words at face value isn’t something he’s used to. he felt the most unloved.

so, personally, it was hard for me to sympathize with haein until a few more episodes into the show (this is coming from someone who relates to haein a lot, kind of opened up room for a lot of self reflection). she was a bad wife to the point her partner wanted to die. can’t say if the feeling was mutual on her part. haein herself admitted that she was a terrible partner, understanding why he did what he did, despite it being heartbreaking.

another thing i’ve noticed people say is that hyunwoo was pretending to be the good guy and hiding behind his “kind” actions but you could tell his actions became more genuine and he started to catch feelings again, albeit he was in denial at the beginning. when the divorce agreement papers leaked, he told her the honest truth without coming up w excuses, acknowledging that this whole ordeal hurt haein more than it hurt him. he didn’t take advantage of her memory loss (the rain scene w the cat “aeong”) to cut himself some slack and to make sure haein wouldn’t immediately be plotting against him.

he wasn’t hiding behind his actions or claiming to be a good guy. he was owning up.

he started to care, felt guilty (hotel scene in germany) and realized why and how their relationship failed, worked towards making it better. i think he would’ve been honest and told haein abt the divorce himself anyway but learning about it from her mother kind of broke the trust haein had on him.

anyway, i never thought i’d be on tumblr defending a man who was happy at the news of his wife dying but here we are.

[silvyysthings]

I’m an active part of this fandom, but will write you as anon.

I was also sexually abused as a child when I was a few years younger than Armie, by a close relative. The human psyche is a great miracle, because apparently I had subconsciously repressed all of this, and the memories themselves suddenly surfaced years later and shook me to my core. Shook me not by the act itself, because deep down I've always known it, but by my ability to bury it so deep in the dark that it had allowed me to live anything normally and even to contact completely normally and without any feelings with the person in question (thank God not very often). Perhaps this is my way of reacting to extremely shocking events for me, because years later, when a person extremely dear to me died in my arms, almost the same thing happened.

“Remembering” and fully aware of what happened allowed me to understand my behavior in various situations in my childhood and teenage years, and later my sexual preferences and restraints. I am really saying this from personal experience - such an experience, especially in childhood, changes a person completely and irreversibly, irreparably. And unfortunately nothing, no one, no therapy can repair the damage.

To tell about it takes enormous strength and courage and overcoming great pain and shame. Even more to admit it to the whole world like Armie did. No one close to me knows about my abuse and probably never will - parents, my husband, friends or anyone. The abuser has been dead for several years.

That's why my heart bleeds for Armie 💔 I completely understand what this recognition is costing him. I also understand all the mess in his life - mine is also a mixture of contradictions: depressions, completely happy periods, despairs and struggles with myself, constantly hurting the people I love.

Some might say - he should get his shit together for the sake of his children. I also have two wonderful children and believe me, that's not how things work. Children cannot repair and undo the damage that has been done. These are things on two completely different emotional levels that have no common ground and could not work against or for each other.

I pray and sincerely hope that Armie finds peace with himself, as much as possible, and truly moves on with his life fully and happily. 🙏 ❤️

oh anon my heart is broken for what you went through. I am completely convinced, even though I have never experienced it, that the brain tries to remove this trauma and that it takes terrible courage to admit and tell all this, as Armie did and as you are doing. I hope you and Armie can find some serenity in telling this even if nothing and no one can ever fill and soothe the pain of what you have been through. Thank you for choosing to tell this, I dare not imagine what you had to go through, I send you a hug and lots of love ❤❤

[welcometomybraincomics]

I think it's super funny how both of my Robits Tankformers (Kaon and Guillotine) are non-combatants

They're definitely not harmless, but they also don't fight unless they have to

Kaon as a matter of principle, and Guillotine bc he's actually a pretty terrible fighter

Oh, he can take a lot of hits and deal a lot of damage, but his size is doing most of the heavy lifting (this is disregarding his previous life as a Decepticon, lmao)

That and he is actively cordoned off from fighting bc a) he's creepy about it, b) his attempts to "help" without getting in the way just lead to things getting worse (he once released a pack of cyber wolves that he completely fabricated from shattered memory fragments of multiple mecha on [a situation] and irreparably damaged the Station's reputation with a foreign power. They ate so many foreigners... so many), and c) he actually likes watching people die, so... nobody but his husband really trusts him with their back (aside from their kids, of course)

[peachfuzz-nygma]

Hello,

I am Hanan Al-Salout, a Palestinian mother and child consultant from Gaza, reaching out to you from a place filled with immense suffering. Since the war began, safety has become a distant memory for us, and our lives have been irreparably torn apart. My husband lost his job, and all our dreams have been buried under the rubble of our destroyed home. 💔

What was once a sanctuary filled with beautiful memories is now a shattered scene, leaving us with only a flimsy tent that provides little protection against the bitter cold and continuous rain. My son Yaseen, who is not yet two years old, lives in a constant state of fear. With each winter storm, our situation worsens as cold winds and flowing water invade our fragile shelter, turning our lives into a never-ending nightmare. 💧🌧️

We have been forced to move from one tent to another, searching for shelter from the random bombings that mercilessly target innocent families and children. We have sold everything we owned just to survive until now, and all we have left are our prayers and the wavering hope in the hearts of those who care. 😢🙏

This war is suffocating our hope, leaving us powerless to protect our children from its horrors. Our family’s donation campaign is still in its early stages, and we dream of leaving Gaza until the war ends. But before that, we are in desperate need of securing food, clean water, and medical supplies to survive.

Please help us by sharing and repost my story and pinned post on my page. 💚

Your support could be the lifeline that rescues us from this nightmare. We reach out to you in desperation, Hope you haven't forgotten us and our innocent children!. 🥺

Donation link:🙏💚

https://gofund.me/b905b50e

Thank you for any assistance you can provide, and for standing with us during these painful times. ❤️🌹

With heartfelt gratitude,

Hanan Al-Salout 🤍🇵🇸

hi dear hanan!!! i’m so terribly sorry that you and your family are going through this. i hope this pain ends soon and your beautiful family gets to continue the lives you deserve. all my love to you from finland <3

[rlbbackup]

About the Forger Family Potrait

I have a rather sad headcanon about this.

In the original family photograph, the one that was taken in Episode 3 though in the Manga there is no specific date for this photograph as it usually includes Bond, there is something very specific about Loid's placement in the photo that just...always bothered me.

He is strategically positioned behind Anya and is standing. This oddity is that it makes everyone else much smaller than him in the photograph.

(To note: I am not a photographer. I have many family photos, including ones taken of relatives in the late sixties and this positioning was never seen by me). From my own experience and from samples of professional photographs I've seen, photographers try very hard to get everyone on the same level for these types of pictures. Usually, the tallest party (typically the husband/father) would be sitting, sometimes with the child in his lap and the shorter party/wife would be standing behind him with either her arms loosely draped over him or with her hands on his shoulders. It's a more intimate picture.

But the Forgers (probably Twilight's request) get this somewhat odd picture where they are mostly detached from each other and with Loid almost purposely just out of frame. Of course, we know that this is to show how distant and uncomfortable they are with each other. That they are thrown together misfit family with loose bonds at best.

But what is the in-universe reason? I think Twilight picked this style so that His face could easily be cut out of the picture once operation Strix finished or if he was burned (spy term for cover blown irreparably). To remove undeniable evidence of his appearance. With is terribly sad.

[pacificwaternymph]

Master List of Tags

Feel free to send me asks about any of these aus, no matter how long it's been since I've talked about them! I'm always willing to answer questions <3

You will find the au and general tags tagged under this post. Everything else can be found in one of the reblogs

General Tags

she speaks!! - I use this very infrequently. This was meant to be like a general tag for answering asks but I'm terrible at remembering it.

my writing - Exactly what it sounds like. Also infrequently used.

my art - there are like two posts in here because I don't post my art that often but please check it out because whatever I post I am very proud of!

Fake fic titles - exactly what is says on the box. A bunch of concepts and summaries that I produced from just the titles. Feel free to take any that catch your eye, as long as you message me or send me an ask to let me know first, and send me the link once it's posted!

Dizzy’s Ocean - Posts about the ocean to fuel my longest running obsession to date

Empires SMP S1 AUs

Rivendell Twins AU - What if Xornoth and Scott had grown up together but then Xornoth got exiled? Also has a fic on Ao3 called "A Tale of Two Champions" All canon ships and a reimagining of Joey and Xornoth's relationship to be less toxic.

Dragon Emperor AU - Dragon Prince AU with Empires SMP Characters. Flower husbands, nature wives, whatever Joel and Lizzie is (I'm not calling it Jizzie)

Ren the Ocean Knight AU - AU where Ren dies in last life and comes to in Empires SMP, where he swears his loyalty to another version of his queen.

Kid Xornoth AU - Reverse Responsibility au by @/shyrose57. Xornoth, as a thirteen year old is sent to destroy the world, and ends up defeated and kidnadopted by Shrub. Nature Wives, Flower Husbands, and Jizzie. Fanfic in the works

Great Beasts of the Past AU - Dragon shapeshifter AU. Roseblings, seablings, and nature wives are dragons, so is Joey, everyone else is human all canon ships and sibling relationships.

House AU - Modern AU where they all live in a house together. That's it, that's the whole thing.

The Great Clash of the Joels - I've started a war between @fishfuckerjoel and @joeldoesntknowwhatsleepis. Help.

The Merman AU - Jimmy's a traditional merman, Lizzie's a terrifying ocean goddess, and Scott is very very gay. Fic on AO3 titled "The Merman"

The Four Empires AU - An avatar the last airbender AU! not much else to say tbh. All posts are tagged with "the four empires au." Do NOT use "atla au" for anything.

The Blue Axolotl Heir AU - AU where Lizzie has a daughter who is also a blue axolotl, and is friends with the Tiger Blood Prince. Mostly funny and wholesome, no romantic ships other than what's canon.

Corrupted Jimmy AU - Jimmy is corrupted by Xornoth and all the feelings come spilling forth. Seablings and Flower Husbands centric, background Jornoth with canon-typical toxicity

Superhero AU - Exactly what it says on the box. All canon ships and sibling dynamics, plus Nature Wives and also everyone in the WRA are siblings. All important information can be found here

Kid Superhero AU - A mashup of the kid Xornoth au and the superhero au.

Deaf Scott AU - Gem manages to scrape up enough magic to escape from Sausage and Joey, but is forced to leave Scott behind. When a rescue party finally comes for him, they find he's had irreparable damage done to his hearing and his ability to speak.

Pirate AU - Jimmy is a pirate captain. Scott is a former navy officer who defected and became Jimmy's husband. Lizzie is the queen of the sirens who adopted Jimmy as her younger brother. Pure fluff and shenanigans. All canon ships + nature wives because why not.

Kid Pirate AU - A combination of the Pirate AU and the Kid Xornoth AU where everything is the same, except Xornoth is a teenager that Shelby and Katherine kidnapped instead of a navy captain.

Actor AU - Empires SMP is a tv series and everyone are just actors. Shenanigans ensue.

The Hourglass AU - Scott knows his life is tied to Xornoth. He knows he's destined to die, as soon as his blade plunges through his brother's chest. So why is it that he continues to prolong the inevitable?

Teen Titans AU - An AU based on the teen titans cartoon with Jimmy as Robin and Scott as Starfire.

MCD Crossover AU - An error in Gem's spell lands Xornoth in Phoenix Drop with amnesia.

Empires SMP S2 AUs

Part-time villain AU - After being expelled from the magic academy, Shubble becomes a known menace and villain to Witch Society, seen as a great danger to everyone around her. However, for her friends, she's still the same old Shelby. Clumsy, disorganized, unassuming Shelby.

S2 Kid Xornoth AU - An offshoot of the original kid xornoth AU in which Xornoth and Shelby reincarnated. Xornoth is Scott's twin brother who got lost in the Evermoore and is now cursed so that he can never age, and never leave. Shelby is doing everything in her power to break this curse.

Eldritch Dad Pixl AU - Pixlriffs is an eldritch god turned archaeologist who adopts isekai protagonist amnesiac Falsesymmetry as his daughter.

Colorless AU - Based on that one comment Scott made about the crystals draining Chromia's magic. Scott slowly loses his color, and himself along with it.

Western AU - Everyone gets shoved into a western setting. Lizzie's the town Mayor, her brother is the Sheriff, Scott's a bartender, everyone is flirting with everyone and half of them are involved in the black market.

Cottage AU - Post canon AU about the time between the end of Empires s2 and the beginning of Witchcraft SMP. Katherine and Shelby run away together and live in a cottage in the woods.

Beauty and the Beast AU - Nature Wives Batb au based on the animated Disney movie

Life Series' AUs

Fae AU (Title is a WIP) - A mashup of empires smp, last life, and double life, in which almost everyone is either fae or some kind of other mythical creature. Lizzie's an eldritch monster, Jimmy has three boyfriends, and ren desperately needs therapy.

Prince x Bodyguard AU - Majorwood/limited life AU where Scott is a prince and Martyn is his bodyguard.

Selkie Scott - Exactly what it says on the box. Scott is a selkie. Martyn is a fisherman. Jimmy is a well meaning human. Martyn x Scott x Jimmy x Tango

ALSMP (Afterlife) AUs

Guardian of the Village AU - Alsmp Vampire Scott has a village living beneath his home, one which he pretends not to care for, yet protects with his life.

Owl House AUs

She Ra x The Owl House Crossover - Hunter gets adopted by an older Catra and Adora. They relate to his struggles just a tad too much.

Owl House x Empires AU - The Empires SMP cast in the roles of the owl house. No one can agree who's who.

She Ra AUs

She Ra x The Owl House Crossover - Hunter gets adopted by an older Catra and Adora. They relate to his struggles just a tad too much.

OC Tags

Pacifica - Shy little gardener from the Ocean Empire, works in Rivendell's greenhouses.

Lilac of the Crystal Cliffs - Empires SMP OC, bat hybrid cafe barista with the ability to see ghosts.

Tesha the Spider Pirate - Empires SMP Season 2 OC, a former member of Joey's crew and new resident of Sanctuary.

I think that's all of them ^.^ I'll put all of them in the tags so that you guys can easily access them.

Chloe Bernier - Batfam OC, Collector who lives in Gotham and turns pieces of scrap into art projects. Absolute maniac.

Jasmine Morgan - Batfam OC, supervillain with the power to drain life force. Absolute wild card; little shit /affectionate

Rat!Dizzy - My ratsona (I cannot believe I just used that word lmao). Little medic mouse. Absolute sweetheart. Will cry if you insult her.

Eris Fernbone - Wolf Mother side character who I brought up once (1) and decided I would protect with my whole heart.

Via the End Floran - Inspired by Lizzie's End Floran from ALSMP. A guide and a wanderer that helps travlers navigate the dangers of the end.

Magnolia Berry - The first of kid!Xornoth's future children. The youngest, future queen of the Undergrove, and earth fairy.

Delilah Thistle - Witchcraft SMP OC, the Empathic Witch. A literal therapist with the ability to influence and manipulate emotions.

Evansi - My spidersona. Based on the Blue Knees sea spider with the additional abilities to breathe underwater, swim really fast, and skate on top of water like a water skeeter

Joanna the Nightingale - Pirates SMP OC. A mermaid from the deep. A huge sweetheart with a big heart and a bigger sense of adventure. Great sailor, terrible pirate. Will not hurt anyone, no matter the stakes.

Inigo the Kestrel - Joanna's boyfriend. A mash between Howl Pendragon, Flynn Rider, and Gomez Adams. Flirtatious playboy turned wife guy who lives to shower his girlfriend in expensive gifts.

Tabitha and Elliot Amor - Joanna and Inigo’s future kids.

Telling Dead Men's Tales - The Collection of pirates smp ocs that belong to me @/amostfoolishgold, @/finnified, and @/solsearchingnights

Star Sapphire Gracie - An aroace Star Sapphire from the DC comics universe. Fueled by the love she shares for her friends.

[leedee013]

NOT ONLY THAT but also this brings up the point once more of people forgetting that Neil is an incredibly unreliable narrator, which literally means that he is incredibly BIASED.

It should be self-explanatory that yes, of course most people are going to side with Neil and have a vehement distaste/hatred for Riko. It's the light that Neil shines his character in. And yes! He does terrible things! But... that's the point of the series. None of the characters in AFTG are necessarily "good" people, and they've ALL done some pretty messed up things.

But the world isn't divided into "good" and "bad." We're all a bit messed up. We make mistakes. We say and do things that hurt others and can be irreparable. But that doesn't mean that the good that people do should be discredited, or that the bad that people do should be ignored.

However, the way people talk about Riko is truly telling in whether they have actually accepted/learned the messaging of AFTG or not. TBH I think that the "happy ending" we get shouldn't be viewed as such. In fact, I think that we as an audience should be horrified by the fact that Neil watches Riko be shot point blank and practically celebrates in response.

One day I'll organize my thoughts on every AFTG character and analyze them to my heart's content but that's reserved for a week of vacation at a cabin with me, myself, my husbands, and my copy of the series. For now though, my stance:

It's disgusting how people talk about Riko as though he deserves the ending he received. It's especially disgusting when the same people who state this go out of their way to find every excuse in the book to explain why Andrew would do the things he does in the books, or try to twist him into a better person than he is. I love every character in this strange series, but that includes their "warts," so to say. Literally no character in All for the Game is free of a fair amount of trauma, and it impacts each character differently. Kind of like how it impacts every person you meet on the street in a different way.

So how does everyone who reads AFTG not come away realizing that approaching people with empathy and an attempt toward understanding can literally save lives? How is it possible that—in a series where the antagonist is used to show how the opposite can affect someone; how a life without empathy or forgiveness or compassion can wear someone down, especially when there's no visible sign of freedom—people don't understand that justifying the actions of one character and vilifying the actions of another is pointless?

So go ahead. Tell me about how Andrew nearly breaking Allison's neck is an example of him being a good brother, or about how Kevin probably deserved to also nearly have his neck broken by Andrew. Or about the time he teamed up with Matt's mother and allowed Matt to relapse. But explaining it away and using Andrew's own trauma as an excuse is exactly how abuse is ignored and brushed under the rug.

TL;DR just because your favorite character has a sad backstory and trauma does not mean their actions are excusable, and does not give you the moral high ground you think it does when you in turn refuse to acknowledge the trauma and sad backstory of characters you don't like

so we connected the dots (shit) andrew stans will excuse explain and rationalize every little of his behaviours based on abuse and trauma but when character like riko is shown to have abuse and trauma suddenly his actions are not explainable or possible to be rationalized the same way Even tho the mechanism is the same and so its much easier to erase any damage or outside influence that might have shaped riko I'm sorry if you want to write me some long reply and argue with me but i simply do not care.

[hewhofragments]

If you're feeling down today or if you feel like you're stuck in a rut in life, if you're fresh out of college, if your marriage has collapsed, if you're between jobs, or if you're just so jealous of other people, please give this essay a read:

A Left-Handed Commencement Address (Mills College, 1983)

I want to thank the Mills College Class of ’83 for offering me a rare chance: to speak aloud in public in the language of women.

I know there are men graduating, and I don’t mean to exclude them, far from it. There is a Greek tragedy where the Greek says to the foreigner, “If you don’t understand Greek, please signify by nodding.” Anyhow, commencements are usually operated under the unspoken agreement that everybody graduating is either male or ought to be. That’s why we are all wearing these twelfth-century dresses that look so great on men and make women look either like a mushroom or a pregnant stork. Intellectual tradition is male. Public speaking is done in the public tongue, the national or tribal language; and the language of our tribe is the men’s language. Of course women learn it. We’re not dumb. If you can tell Margaret Thatcher from Ronald Reagan, or Indira Gandhi from General Somoza, by anything they say, tell me how. This is a man’s world, so it talks a man’s language. The words are all words of power. You’ve come a long way, baby, but no way is long enough. You can’t even get there by selling yourself out: because there is theirs, not yours.

Maybe we’ve had enough words of power and talk about the battle of life. Maybe we need some words of weakness. Instead of saying now that I hope you will all go forth from this ivory tower of college into the Real World and forge a triumphant career or at least help your husband to and keep our country strong and be a success in everything - instead of talking about power, what if I talked like a woman right here in public? It won’t sound right. It’s going to sound terrible. What if I said what I hope for you is first, if — only if — you want kids, I hope you have them. Not hordes of them. A couple, enough. I hope they’re beautiful. I hope you and they have enough to eat, and a place to be warm and clean in, and friends, and work you like doing. Well, is that what you went to college for? Is that all? What about success?

Success is somebody else’s failure. Success is the American Dream we can keep dreaming because most people in most places, including thirty million of ourselves, live wide awake in the terrible reality of poverty. No, I do not wish you success. I don’t even want to talk about it. I want to talk about failure.

Because you are human beings you are going to meet failure. You are going to meet disappointment, injustice, betrayal, and irreparable loss. You will find you’re weak where you thought yourself strong. You’ll work for possessions and then find they possess you. You will find yourself — as I know you already have — in dark places, alone, and afraid.

What I hope for you, for all my sisters and daughters, brothers and sons, is that you will be able to live there, in the dark place. To live in the place that our rationalizing culture of success denies, calling it a place of exile, uninhabitable, foreign.

Well, we’re already foreigners. Women as women are largely excluded from, alien to, the self-declared male norms of this society, where human beings are called Man, the only respectable god is male, the only direction is up. So that’s their country; let’s explore our own. I’m not talking about sex; that’s a whole other universe, where every man and woman is on their own. I’m talking about society, the so-called man’s world of institutionalized competition, aggression, violence, authority, and power. If we want to live as women, some separatism is forced upon us: Mills College is a wise embodiment of that separatism. The war-games world wasn’t made by us or for us; we can’t even breathe the air there without masks. And if you put the mask on you’ll have a hard time getting it off. So how about going on doing things our own way, as to some extent you did here at Mills? Not for men and the male power hierarchy — that’s their game. Not against men, either — that’s still playing by their rules. But with any men who are with us: that’s our game. Why should a free woman with a college education either fight Machoman or serve him? Why should she live her life on his terms?

Machoman is afraid of our terms, which are not all rational, positive, competitive, etc. And so he has taught us to despise and deny them. In our society, women have lived, and have been despised for living, the whole side of life that includes and takes responsibility for helplessness, weakness, and illness, for the irrational and the irreparable, for all that is obscure, passive, uncontrolled, animal, unclean — the valley of the shadow, the deep, the depths of life. All that the Warrior denies and refuses is left to us and the men who share it with us and therefore, like us, can’t play doctor, only nurse, can’t be warriors, only civilians, can’t be chiefs, only indians. Well so that is our country. The night side of our country. If there is a day side to it, high sierras, prairies of bright grass, we only know pioneers’ tales about it, we haven’t got there yet. We’re never going to get there by imitating Machoman. We are only going to get there by going our own way, by living there, by living through the night in our own country.

So what I hope for you is that you live there not as prisoners, ashamed of being women, consenting captives of a psychopathic social system, but as natives. That you will be at home there, keep house there, be your own mistress, with a room of your own. That you will do your work there, whatever you’re good at, art or science or tech or running a company or sweeping under the beds, and when they tell you that it’s second-class work because a woman is doing it, I hope you tell them to go to hell and while they’re going to give you equal pay for equal time. I hope you live without the need to dominate, and without the need to be dominated. I hope you are never victims, but I hope you have no power over other people. And when you fail, and are defeated, and in pain, and in the dark, then I hope you will remember that darkness is your country, where you live, where no wars are fought and no wars are won, but where the future is. Our roots are in the dark; the earth is our country. Why did we look up for blessing — instead of around, and down? What hope we have lies there. Not in the sky full of orbiting spy-eyes and weaponry, but in the earth we have looked down upon. Not from above, but from below. Not in the light that blinds, but in the dark that nourishes, where human beings grow human souls.

--Ursula K. Le Guin

[beachboysnatural]

Okay, I’m going to try to organize my thoughts about Dean and Dabb and Errol Flynn (x). Trigger warning for alcoholism, sexual assault allegations, death. So, first off, some background. Errol Flynn was an actor during the Golden Age of Hollywood. As a young man, he allegedly had plenty of adventures in and around Australia and Polynesia, where he grew up. (I say allegedly because most of the accounts of his adventures are from his autobiography, and said autobiography is estimated to be at least 50% false.) He was a womanizer, he was a drug addict, and he was an alcoholic, but he was charismatic and he could act, so he eventually made his way to Hollywood, where he landed the leading role in Captain Blood (1935). With the help of his frequent costar Olivia de Havilland and frequent director Michael Curtiz, Flynn brought back the swashbuckling genre, something that hadn’t been in style since Douglas Fairbanks (the first onscreen swashbuckler) was big, during the silent era. But Flynn had something Fairbanks didn’t--he could talk. Pretty much every action hero ever is based on Flynn’s take on the swashbuckler, particularly in The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938), which is his most well-known film (and his best, because it’s my favorite movie of all time). He’s witty, he’s charming, he’s a rakish rogue with a heart of gold. Who does this sound like to you? Westley, from the Princess Bride? Flynn Rider, from Tangled? Or maybe Han Solo, from Star Wars. Han exemplifies all these traits. And, just to beat a dead horse, who was based off of Han Solo? Dean Winchester. Early seasons Dean--Kripke’s Dean--has surface level characterization that is just another Errol Flynn character. He even takes on some of Flynn’s real-life characteristics, such as womanizing and having a not-so-great relationship with alcohol. But the plot thickens. By the dawn of World War II, Flynn was a huge star, he had a not great personal life and by his own admission he was sick of the roles he was forced to play. But he needn’t have worried. His onscreen persona was irreparably damaged by allegations of draft dodging and sexual assault. Flynn had malaria from his travels as a young man, so he was medically unfit for war, but rather than make their strong, manly man look weak, Warner Bros. kept the information under wraps and let people think what they wanted. Flynn was also accused of statutory rape by two separate women. He denied the allegations in his autobiography, but given his behavior later in life...well. He was acquitted, but his career stuttered and eventually fizzled out by the early 1950s. Because his persona relied on him actually being a good person at heart, people reacted negatively to finding out that Flynn wasn’t a good person. Flynn sank further into alcoholism and debt, and died at age fifty due to health problems hugely exacerbated by his failing liver. By his side was his seventeen-year-old girlfriend he’d been dating for two years. Remember how I said Dean’s “surface level” characterization was a Han Solo type, or a Robin Hood type, or an Errol Flynn type? Yeah. Dean’s whole thing is that he is not who he pretends to be. But unlike Flynn, Dean’s true self is just some guy who wears hot dog pajamas and watches movies with his husband, not a generally terrible person. However, as the seasons go on, Dean sinks further and further into alcoholism as the traumas stack up. His relationships grow static and he begins to look for a way out of the job he hates. Like Flynn, aspects of his real self begin to permeate the image he has created for himself. He’s not the fun womanizer who enjoys a good time anymore, he’s a sad old man nursing a beer. There are parallels between them, and in classic Supernatural fashion, they are badly misused by Andrew Dabb. Dabb likes Dean to be a bully and a dick. This is evidenced by, gee, I don’t know, every episode he ever wrote. His first two come to mind. Dean’s alcoholism isn’t a trauma response to him, it’s an aspect of his personality that makes him suck. Dean’s macho man bravado isn’t covering up his queerness or neurodivergency, it’s covering up a real Errol Flynn type. Dabb got it right that Dean is hiding his true self under the swashbuckler (who cannot exist outside a vacuum but that’s not what this is about) but he got the true self completely wrong. Dabb thinks Dean is Errol Flynn, but he isn’t. He’s Dean. And that’s why Dabb- Dean is Like That.

[digitalzombie]

On (the updated) Chapter 139.

This is not necessarily a rant. Instead, these are some thoughts I had after reading (the new) Chapter 139 of Shingeki no Kyojin, or Attack on Titan. I also briefly talk about the Rumbling and Ymir’s characterization. Of course, this is not spoiler-free, so beware if you are not caught up with the latest updates on the series/chapter!

Spoilers below:

First and foremost, I enjoyed the series. I wouldn’t call it “perfect,” nor “the absolute best,” but it was entertaining and, dare I say, awe-inspiring. Isayama presented something that not many shōnen mangaka do, which is a realistic take on war and the irreparable actions of humanity. To say that this is a story about mankind fighting monsters is not entirely wrong; in fictional stories, “man is the true monster” tends to be a reoccurring theme, and Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin, is no exception. I’ve said the following in a previous post I made, and I’ll say it here again:

This is mostly a reflection of humanity and the terrible things people are capable of doing when they’re given too much power, and when they’ve been stripped from having any of it. (alienated.zombie)

Was it all for nothing?

All characters are victims of corruption. We saw that with Eldians who were persecuted in Marley and the Eldians on Paradis. The Rumbling was Eren’s desperate attempt to protect his friends more than to protect the island. It is apparent when he refuses the Founding Titan to any of his closest comrades in the flashback in Chapter 108…

By the end of the series, we see time-skip after time-skip of the Island’s growth and eventual destruction. We see a boy encountering the tree where, presumably, Eren was buried. It is different from the other trees, as it is the largest (probably the oldest, too), and bears a huge resemblance to the tree Ymir, the Founder, had fallen into. This seems to tease that everything will begin again—the rebirth of the titans and, potentially, more war.

So, did Eren commit mass genocide for nothing in the end? My answer is no.

Eren fulfilled what he wanted/needed to do, which was to protect his friends (or at least those who survived the battles leading up to the Rumbling). He aided in freeing Ymir. And just as he had hoped, his surviving friends lived for a long time, as suggested in the final panels. Eren’s motives are questionable, and it begs the question: Is Eren selfish? And my answer is yes, although he does not openly show it as he lived his whole life living and fighting for other people’s sakes. Eren is a paradoxical character: he is selfish for choosing his friends over the world but selfless for putting his friends ahead of himself.

Isayama gave us a bleak ending, one that makes sense since something as unforgivable as the Rumbling would be a justifiable reason to start a war--at least in the eyes of the world leaders. We are only given a small glimpse of the attack, so there is no saying if The Rumbling truly was the motivation, or if Paradis acted first. What is true is that the cycle of hate continues. Historia's reign, as well as the rise of the Yeagerists, prove that as time passes, ideals and people in power change. Truly, history repeats itself.

The Rumbling

Side note: Of course, The Rumbling wouldn’t be the absolute best solution to end a war in reality. (I didn’t support it either.) However, I read the manga with the idea that there really was no other way to end the war between Paradis and Marley because the whole world was dead-set on destroying the island, as suggested in chapter 123:

Not to mention that the Association in this part of the series reacted with cheers to the speaker’s sentiment. Even the displaced Eldians were brainwashed to abhor the so-called “Devils” of Paradis Island. We can assume (based on what we know about the views that Marley, the Eldians in Marley, and the advocates for “displaced Eldians” have) that Paradis was the so-called enemy of the world (at least to the public outside of Paradis). Armin and Hange’s approach to the situation, the diplomatic way, was not wrong either; however, given the other nations’ resolve to decimate the island, this strategy would not have worked.

This is where Eren’s plan to wipe out the rest of the world, save the island, comes into play. He did not want to conform to the original plan and repeat the same cycle the Royals have for hundreds of years, which was to sacrifice Historia and her descendants, and the future hosts of the Coordinate. He was only meant to scare the world— to dare them to attack—by waking some of the dormant Colossal Titans. Of course, he chose a different path. The Rumbling, Eren’s Rumbling, was meant to buy time for Paradis’ restoration, to secure their safety, to expand their military forces, and to eventually end the Titans’ curse… which did happen.

Ymir, the Founder

Ymir is the most mysterious character in the series. Due to her lack of speech (as her tongue was cut off), she is easily the most misunderstood. She was abused and used for power; Ymir was a slave—both literally and metaphorically—to Fritz and the following Coordinate hosts. My understanding is that she had some kind of attachment to Fritz and his ideals. Chapter 139 introduces the idea that Ymir did, in fact, love Karl Fritz. I doubt that this is really the case, given that Eren’s words contradict the art on the panel (surely, purposely done by Isayama):

In this panel (chapter 139), she is unhappy: her marriage is a joke, given that her husband flirts with other women (they were most likely his mistresses) while she tended to his needs and continued to have his children. Her “love” for Fritz is not real. Ymir was attached to the idea of love and desired it all the more.

I believe that Mikasa did not necessarily free Ymir; rather, Ymir was inspired by Mikasa’s unwavering love for Eren. Mikasa loved Eren and was able to let go of him despite how much it hurt her. In turn, Ymir finally let go to of her abuser by realizing that what she felt was not truly love. Mikasa suggests Ymir’s true feelings when she says: “Your love must have felt like a never-ending nightmare.”

I should also mention that the panel above does not necessarily mean that Ymir let Fritz die, although this is open to interpretation. I thought that this clearly expressed Ymir’s regrets. Should he have died in her stead, Ymir would have been able to live the rest of her life with her daughters in peace. This might have also avoided future wars, aka, the war on Paradis. However, Mikasa’s words ring true: “It’s only because you brought your children into this world that I stand here today.” There is no way to undo the past. It is true that Eren could have rewritten the past by letting her live and letting Fritz die; however, that would completely change everything: Eren and his friends would have probably never existed, and Ymir would have been trapped in Paths forever, as the Founder would go to a random newborn child.

Another interesting point I’d like to add is Ymir’s appearance. In Paths, she presents herself as a child but finally shows herself as an adult in front of Mikasa. She expresses her fragility via regression, or appearing as her less developed stage in life (childhood) as a coping mechanism. (This can also be said about Eren’s child-like appearance at the start of the Rumbling.) Only after freeing herself from Paths does she take on the appearance of a grown woman. We cannot say that she completely healed from her trauma, but we can say that she was ready to move on.

Why wait 2000 years?

My take on this question is that Eren was Ymir’s answer as he did not bear royal blood and therefore could not command her to do anything for him. Recall that nearly all previous hosts of the Coordinate were of Royal blood. No one understood Ymir, nor seemed to care to communicate with her. Grisha was at the end of his life when he stole the Coordinate and then passed it to Eren.

Potential sequel?

As for the final panels of the chapter, I don’t think that this sets up a potential sequel. Unlike Eren, Armin, and Mikasa during their childhoods, this boy has the freedom to explore the world as is his birthright. He does not have to think or worry about being confined behind tall walls, nor worry about a government's restrictions to question the mysteries of the world. He is free to explore. I think that this is Isayama’s way to tie the story back to that simple dream Eren had as a child. Despite the obvious attack on Paradis in the previous panels, there is reason to believe that not all of Paradis was destroyed. This boy should be proof of that. For now, whether he becomes the new Founder or not is strictly based on our own interpretations.

That’s all I have to say about Chapter 139. Let me know if you’d like me to delve deeper into anything else from AoT! I was thinking about taking a closer look at other characters later on, but I’ll be happy to add my take on anything AoT-related.

[writerwhowritesao3]

Director's Commentary on Talk To A Green Tree?

Oh hai!! Director’s Commentary under the cut ‘cause it’s a lengthy one, love. 

I wanted to write this story because I wanted to explore the relationship between Billy and Susan. I wrote about their relationship somewhat in my first story, Jump In The Fire, but that wasn’t the main purpose or focus of that fic; the main focus of Jump In The Fire was the beginning of Billy’s relationship with Steve (jumping in at the Harringrove angle) and also setting up friendship relationships between Billy, Nancy, and Jonathan—and, of course, also to “fix” Billy’s relationship with Max. 

In Jump in the Fire, I wanted to make it clear that Billy’s relationship with Susan isn’t contentious or bitter—if anything, they have a good-to-okay relationship. Billy has trouble letting Susan in and has very conflicting feelings about her, and understandably so. He’s traumatized and hurt from the fact that his biological mother, Sandra, outright abandoned him with his abusive father when he was ten; he has major trust issues and a fear of abandonment stemming from that. 

Still, Billy does like Susan. Loves her, when you get down to it. It would be hard not to like a woman who’s been a maternal figure in your life since you were 11/12. But Billy feels conflicted about his feelings towards Susan for three main reasons:

1) He’s not over his own mother’s abandonment

In all honesty, Susan being concerned about Billy's wellbeing didn't come as much of a surprise. In the four-and-a-half years that she and Neil had been married, Susan had taken her role as Billy's stepmother very seriously. At points, even bordering on "replacement mother" territory. If Billy was being truthful with himself, he didn't hate Susan. Hell, he may have even admitted to liking her. And if Billy was feeling extra introspective, he would have admitted that the only thing that compelled him to keep Susan at arm's length was that he still wasn't over the fact that his own mother abandoned him. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 4)

2) He’s angry that Susan doesn’t stop Neil from abusing him (although he acknowledges that it really isn’t her fault...and as mentioned in another chapter, she doesn’t know how bad Neil gets when she’s not home)

Of course, there was also the lingering and maybe-unreasonable resentment that Susan was unable to stop her husband from beating him. But in all fairness, his own mom couldn't do that either. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 4)

2) He’s afraid to acknowledge his feelings because he’s afraid that one day, Susan will leave Neil—and Billy—, taking Max with her. 

The other great thing about his dad not being home was that the mood around the house was a lot lighter. It wasn't anything overt or obvious, it was just the general atmosphere. Billy wasn't as tense; even a little more jokey with Max and Susan. He and Max didn't have to watch their language as much. Even Susan seemed just slightly happier and more relaxed when it was just the three of them in the house.

Billy noticed it. He'd been noticing it for years. And it scared the shit out of him. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 11)

There’s also another reason for Billy’s conflicting feelings: he thinks that accepting Susan as a mom or mother figure would be a betrayal to Sandra (who he has not spoken to since he was 10...)

"Sounds good," Billy smiled softly. "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Yeah, you should," Susan said. "It's late. 'Night, honey."

"'Night, Mom," Billy said as he turned around to head to his room.

He didn't realize what he had said until he was halfway down the hall. Didn't realize that the word "mom" had slipped out of his mouth so effortlessly. He didn't know if Susan had caught the slip. Couldn't bring himself to look back to see if she had noticed it or even heard it. Couldn't help but wonder if, on the chance Susan had caught it, she minded. Or if she resented it because she wasn't his mom. Or if she didn't care either way. Unable to stop his mind from going there, Billy wondered how his actual mother would feel about him calling another woman "mom."

Billy went to sleep that night with the terrible feeling that he committed some horrible, irreparable betrayal. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 11)

Chapter 12 of Jump in the Fire is the first time I wrote anything from Susan’s perspective. In those sections, I wanted to make it clear that Susan not only loves Billy and considers him to be her son, but that she has absolutely no intention of abandoning him. Susan is an adult woman and so she has the insight and emotional maturity to understand why Billy has a hard time fully trusting her and letting himself relax around her. 

I also wanted to make it clear that although Susan knows that Neil hits Billy, she doesn’t actually know the full extent of it. She has her suspicions, and that’s absolutely part of the reason why she chooses to stay married to Neil: she does not want to leave Billy alone with him. 

ANYWAY

I’m writing Talk to a Green Tree to further explore the mother-son relationship between Billy and Susan because I didn’t focus closely enough on it in Jump in the Fire. The fic is written in both Susan and Billy’s perspectives.

The first three chapters of Talk to a Green Tree are about events/ moments that occur pre-Hawkins and the last three chapters are about events/moments that happen when they’re living in Hawkins. 

The focus on two of the chapters are actually mentioned in Chapter 5 of Jump in the Fire. 

The first chapter takes place during the first year of their new family. As mentioned in the chapter, Billy gets horribly sick when he’s 12 years old, and Susan takes a week off of work to stay home with him and take care of him. 

(spoilers if you guys give a shit lol) The next chapter to be published (Chapter three) takes place the summer before they move to Hawkins, when Billy is 15 (almost 16). The chapter is about Billy being drugged and raped at a party and how the next morning, he lets himself be (almost) completely vulnerable with Susan. 

...with the anger came guilt—guilt at feeling angry at Susan because, fuck, she did not deserve that. When he was twelve years old, about seven months after Susan and Neil had said their vows, a severe flu had gone around Billy's school; Billy had caught it. Susan had taken a week off of work to stay home with him. She had kept him hydrated, made him soup, rubbed his back when he threw up. Even helped him into the bath when his 103º fever broke and he felt clammy and sweaty and weak from the illness.

And then, of course, there was the incident in June, a week before Neil broke Billy's collarbone. When Neil was on a weekend trip with his work buddies and Billy had gone to a college party he had no business going to. Had gone to a party and came home at two in the morning, blasted out of his mind despite only drinking one beer. Had spent the entire next day going from curled up and shivering in bed to kneeling on the bathroom floor with his head in the toilet. He had stuffed his blood-stained underwear to the bottom of his trashcan, double-bagged it, and tossed it into the neighbors' trash bin that night.

Susan had taken care of him as best she could with the very limited information that she had. Had given him water and held his hair back, even when he was just dry heaving. Had fucking held him when he cried and cried and couldn't stop.

"Did something happen at the party?" Susan asked softly, rubbing circles onto Billy's back. He shuddered and nodded into her tear-soaked neck. He was practically in her lap. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Billy gasped out. He took a few shaky breaths. Tried to get his tears under control. Failed. "Please don't tell my dad," he begged.

"I won't, sweetheart, I won't," she soothed. She stroked his hair. He cried harder. "I got you, honey, you're okay."

She kept her word and she never pushed him to tell her what happened. She never even brought it up again. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 5)

That chapter is honestly tricky to write. The first part is in Billy’s perspective and actually goes into exactly what happened to him and the second part is in Susan’s perspective, starting with being woken up at 2AM because a sorority girl brings a very out-of-it Billy back home, going into her being pissed off that Billy a) lied about where he was going and b) seems to have gotten so shit-faced that he’s violently ill the next morning...and then having the horrible realization that Billy is probably not just hungover and then having the awful, instinctual feeling that Something Happened to him. 

ANYWAY

I guess at its core, Talk to a Green Tree is about the formation and evolution of a blended family that’s affected by domestic violence and trauma. And it’s about Susan really doing her best to be a good mom to Billy...and about Billy eventually being able to trust Susan and acknowledge to himself that even though Susan isn’t his mother, she is his mom in every way that counts. 

This was very fucking rambly haha.

[fionapplespiano]

Oh sorry my bad.

Jean is Ororo’s best friend, and having Storm cheat with Jean’s husband would’ve have been the ultimate betrayal. Plus, since Storm isn’t a telepath, it affair would’ve had to have been physical, making it even worse. It would’ve assassinated both Scott and Ororo’s characters, because it’s one thing to have a physic affair with your wife’s kinda enemy, but it would have been terrible to have a physical affair with you wife’s best friend. I think it would’ve irreparably damaged Jean’s relationship with both of them.

I don’t think Scott and Ororo would be a bad couple in theory, but it would be a bit dodgy considering Storm would be dating her best friend’s ex.

Disturbing thought: What if Scott had the affair with Ororo instead of Emma? Like what Grant Morrison had originally intended.

[dyns33]

Northern wolf

Me : I’m not going to write for like a month. 

Also me : haha whO Am I KiddIng, I Can’T Stop wriTting AboUt Michael. Also I said I was going to write about werewolves so... 

The wolves here are a bit like Vikings. Because I have a thing for vikings. 

         Historically, there have been several packs of wolves around the world, who did not evolve in the same way, did not have the same beliefs, lifestyles, worldview, and which then fought often. The most feared, the most dangerous, the most barbaric were the northern wolves, as ruthless on land as at sea, although their technology was almost non-existent. They didn't need all of this, unlike other packs, they were true warriors, their muscles and heads were sufficient. They often attacked ships of other packs that passed a little too close to their shores, just for fun. They discovered treasures or unknown food most of the time, but this time they were surprised by what the ship they just took was carried. An Omega. A small, frightened Omega, tied in the hold, who was crying, curled up in a corner, begging them not to hurt her. Because, where (Y/N) came from, wolves, especially the Alphas, treated the Omegas with disdain, claiming them when and where they wanted, as they wanted, without worrying about their opinion or their happiness, so wild wolves... She didn't want to imagine what they were going to do to her.

           "Everyone go out." said one of the wolves. "You can see she is scared by you all. Leave us."

He had to be the leader, as the others obeyed and (Y/N) was left alone with the Alpha. Timidly, she turned to look at him, and then she smelled his scent. He was as beautiful as his smell was bewitching. But she didn't want him to touch her, as so many Alphas had tried to touch her before. She had only been saved by her family, who wanted to preserve her for a good marriage. For several years, she had been quite happy, until they sold her, and she ended up on this boat, which was taking her to her future husband.

           "Please." she begged him. "No. Don't hurt me..."

           "What's your name ?" the wolf asked, approaching, resting his hand on the chain that held her back.

           "I... (Y/N). Please."

           "There is nothing to be afraid of." the wolf whispered, releasing her. "I'm Michael, and I swear no one will touch you. Not without your consent. Put your hands around my neck."

The request was strange, the promise could be a lie, but something in his eyes, and his scent, convinced (Y/N) that she could trust him. So she obeyed, letting him take her out of the ship. As promised, no one touched her. She soon discovered that the wolves of the North did not function like the ones she knew. The Omegas were for them treasures, almost revered. They weren't treated like fragile and stupid little things, just good at having children. When the Alphas of her country took without asking, here it was the Omegas who chose their partner. Strangely, unlike all the stories her parents had told her, it seemed to (Y/N) that it was her old pack that was barbaric. She was greeted as one of them as soon as they learned what had happened to her, but also because Michael, who was in fact the son of their leader, asked for her to stay. After that, he kept his distance, which saddened a little (Y/N). She wanted to thank him, and she wanted to get to know him. Something was drawing her irreparably towards him. So she wanted to know more about him, especially if he was caught. Because Michael was an exceptional Alpha. The future chef. Big, strong, smart. And terribly attractive. It seemed impossible that no one had ever wanted him before.

           "Michael has always been alone." sighed a Beta with an embarrassed smile. "No one knows why, but he always turned down every Omega that offered themselves to him. His father is a bit worried, but if he's a lone wolf, we have to respect that."

Lone wolves, Alpha, Beta, or Omega, never managed to fully integrate into a pack, they didn't take mates, didn't have children and ended up alone. (Y/N) couldn't accept it, not for Michael. Her saviour. And, although she had a hard time admitting it, the wolf she loved. Her heat approaching, she was given a choice, like all the Omegas in the pack. Either she would nominate a partner, who also had to accept her, or she would be locked in a cabin until her heat was over. She didn't dare to tell the others that she had known for a long time who she wanted, but she slipped into Michael's hut when night fell. He looked surprised, but he didn't say anything when she lay down in his bed. He didn't react when she kissed him. He didn't seem happy when she stopped. Maybe he didn't want her at the end. Maybe he really was a lone wolf. Ashamed, (Y/N) apologized and wanted to leave, but he held her back.

           "Why did you do this ?" he asked.

           "It's obvious."

           "Not for me."

           "I… I wanted to be yours. I want to be yours, I want you to be my Alpha. But it's also obvious that you don't want to, I shouldn't have kissed you."

           "Kiss. ​​Is that what you just did ?"

           "Yes... You... You don't know what it is ?"

Michael did not know. Tenderness and romanticism did not exist in the wolves of the North's culture. They respected each other, courted each other, but the affection passed only by the exchange of scents, and bestial copulation.

           "So you choose me." he summed up.

           "Yes, but... I know you don't want me. Everyone says you don't want anyone, that you're a lone wolf, and since I'm not..."

Quickly, awkwardly, Michael pressed his lips to hers, trying to imitate her kiss. (Y/N) returned it immediately, and he seemed to purr, enjoying what she was doing with her mouth.

           "I wanted you as soon as I saw you in this despicable ship." he growled.

           "But... You didn't say anything."

           "I was waiting for you to come to me, it's the custom. I also didn't want you to offer yourself to me just to thank me."

Suddenly feeling full of confidence, and maybe because her heat was about to begin, (Y/N) climbed on top of him, covering him with kisses, letting him touch her however he wanted. He would be the only one to have the right to touch her like this, her Alpha, her mate.

           "Make me yours." she begged him.

           "No."

           "... What ?"

           "You are not my thing." Michael reassured her, stroking her cheek. "You are not my property, you are not a prize. We are equal. You will be my mate, but you will remain free."

           "I understand. But I want to be yours and you to be mine. I love you."

           "What is this, love ?"

           "It's... I don't want to be with anyone but you, ever."

           "Ah. I love you too." he purred, hugging her close.

The next day, the pack waited for (Y/N) to arrive and locked her in the cabin during her rut, but they were surprised never to see her coming. Looking for her in the village, they smelled her scent. In Michael's hut. And the noises coming from them left no doubt as to what the occupants were doing. The northern wolves then smiled, the chief first, delighted because a new pair had just formed, which would soon have a litter of strong and robust cubs. They should have known that Michael, being an exceptional Alpha, would want nothing less than a unique Omega, who would necessarily come from elsewhere.

[julianwolski]

#33 - Why should you read My Brother’s Husband?

Found families are the saving grace for many people. Not only in the queer community, but to anyone who never really had the chance to have someone they can count on. These nuclear environments are important to us because, as humans, we are social creatures and we thrive in these gatherings. We need social contact to grow and develop as people, but also to feel comforted and safe.

Having a family is a necessity, perhaps on par with water and food. People who have a safety net can reach higher and farther in life, and establish themselves with more ease in difficult paths. It’s not a requirement to be successful or anything like that, but it’s a perk when you need someone to share your woes or happiness. And when you don’t have a good blood family by your side, a found family is the best thing you can hope for.

However, there’s also this image that a found family will fill the void inside you, that space your relatives left behind, and that’s hard to guarantee. The lack of a supportive group of people at your side leaves you with no one, and that’s the worst thing.

It’s terrible to be rejected just because of who you are. But acceptance is not a one-way street. It’s not easy or quick, it hurts and it takes time. Like a wound that needs healing. It may need more than just a minute, it may bother you while it heals, and in the end, it might still leave a scar. The mark will be forever in you, but there’s a good chance it’s not going to hurt anymore, and you’ll have learned from the experience.

My Brother’s Husband is a story that comes from the hands of Gengoroh Tagame. He’s known for his hardcore pornographic stories, but this manga is a far cry from that, so you should take care when checking some more of his works since this one is for all ages. In this, we have the story of a single father, Yaichi, his daughter, Kana, and Mike Flanagan, the Canadian husband of Yaichi’s brother, who died a time ago.

Coming from other works of the author, I was expecting a raunchy story of a gay man turning a straight guy into his slave or something, but what I got was an incredible journey about the pain of estranged relatives, the hurt silence can cause when you don’t speak up for the people you love, and the difficulty to accept that we can never change anything about the past. It’s there and it will always stay there, like pain that can never go away. 

But even with this pain, the story shines and lifts us up, simply because it allows the reader and characters to connect through the feelings we all share.

In the pages, Mike is visiting Yaichi in Japan, following the promise his late husband made to be reunited with his brother. When Ryouji, Yaichi’s brother, left Japan many years ago, it was with the promise to come back to reunite with his family, but he never managed to do that. The relationship between the two brothers slowly fractured in the past, and that led to their separation.

It wasn’t in any irreparable form, but the story highlights how the silence and lack of acceptance can lead to these decisions, and some of them are irreversible because of the strong hand of fate, unfortunately. 

As Mike arrives in Japan, he’s quickly enveloped by the love of Kana, Yaichi’s daughter, who wants to know everything about this new stranger, and that turns Mike into an event in her life, and a person she loves very much, almost from the start.

But Yaichi doesn’t feel the same. Or at last, he doesn’t let himself feel the same. Being the one who’s somewhat guilty of making his brother go away, he feels like the weight of what happened between him and his brother falls on him, and it takes a long time for Yaichi to come to terms with the fact that a lot of things are different. Including the world he lives in.

Yaichi is not overtly homophobic, but he takes a while to understand Mike, and his brother, and realize that those two were closer than they had ever been before, but of course, there’s no way he can go back in the past and get together with his brother anymore because that ship has sailed.

Still, there are several moments where we can see how Mike’s influence in Yaichi’s changing understanding of the world, can also change people’s lives. And it’s enlightening to see Yaichi becoming a better person in the process because it feels like we do it with him all the way.

Throughout the story, we get incredibly informative bits with Mike, and also a good slice-of-life as these characters enjoy Japan and learn a little bit about each other. Every moment felt important, like a small step up the stairs. But they were also beautiful and fun and showed a way to people who can’t accept others.

It might be difficult, and prejudice exists everywhere, but sometimes you have to make the effort, so the people that you love, and the people that love you, can have a better chance at living the life they deserve. 

I have to say that you are going to cry, there’s no way that won’t happen, and the ending will leave you with your heart aching for these characters, but also for all the people that never really got the chance to get acceptance from the people in their family. Because although found families are important, having the love of the people that made you can go a long way in proving to you that you deserve the good things that you want in life. 

It’s not a requirement to be happy, and many people won’t ever get the chance to get it, but it matters. 

You should read My Brother’s Husband.