#my tav's are all in a relationship with Astarion

[delta-lethonomia]

ok depresso week is over, back to deliberate hyperfixation on bg3:

It is absolutely wild to me that people take Astarion to the foursome with the drow twins (romanced, spawn, post-cazador) and are shocked, shocked I tell you, that he has a bad time. But it leads me to think that there's an interesting conversation to be had here about morality applied to video games. I'm going to be using what's a bit of a strawman tbh, what I would consider an archetypical, "good person" gamer for this niche example.

(3k essay under the cut about irl morals vs video game behavior, my take on why Astarion agrees to the orgy, beating the dead horse of Astarion discourse now that the fandom has cooled off enough I might not get flogged for it, and all my election stress being translated into an increasingly bitchy narrative voice that I hope is at least mildly amusing.)

"Good Person Gamer" romances Astarion. They're probably female, which I am mentioning exclusively so I can turn that into "Good Girl Gamer" 😏, or G3. G3 picks nice dialogue options. G3 tries to support their companions, and finds diplomatic and moral solutions to problems. G3 saved the tieflings. G3 still romances Astarion because he's hot, and vulnerable, and it's not like he forces you to be evil - he just complains a bit when you save kittens stuck in trees, but you get that approval back anyway just by being nice to him. Talk him out of Ascension and you've proven to yourself he's got a good soul under all that attitude anyway. He'd healed! You banged on his grave! It's all good now!

The brothel is fun. The drow twins are hot. It's always fun when games lets you do spicy things like have threesomes and orgies! We're sex-positive! Look, the drow twins said they love their job! It's totally fine! G3, as most people, probably does not do these things in real life, but that's the fun in video games: you get to be someone you're not.

And then Astarion noticeably dissociates. He throws himself in the center and lavishes everyone with attention; he's a professional, you know. Even an unromanced Tav/Durge notices something's off, and Astarion replies something along the lines of "you don't have the right to look at me like that," presumably with worry, distress, or sympathy.

G3 is upset. They did everything right - they didn't want to hurt him, and Astarion himself said he wanted this. Why couldn't they stop midway through and remind him that he doesn't have to hurt himself? Why couldn't they talk about it afterwards, and clear the air? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HURT ME

Now, to all the G3's out there: if you were dating a person with extensive sexual trauma, having been raped literally thousands of times, would you suggest having a threesome/orgy? With prostitutes, if that's better or worse? Putting them on the spot before your mutual friends? Would you wait a few years to mention the idea, or would you do so only weeks/months into a relationship? Your first "I love you" might have only been yesterday.

And most people, I think, would say "No." Writing that scenario outside of the lens of a video game makes it sound insane - of course you wouldn't! I'm not saying that they should never have group sex or that it can't be done, but I think most people instinctively get how that would be a shitty thing to do in that context, especially without discussing it in depth beforehand and making sure you're both on the same page.

And this is the meat of the issue. Most gamers play good-aligned characters: there's a strong culture of wanting to play the hero and saving the day. But tied into that cultural monomyth, in society itself, is the idea that sex is a reward at the end. You get sex at the end of the romance arc. The date where you have sex is one of many milestones, and you're not really dating if you haven't done it yet. Some people don't have sex until their wedding night. Threesome scenes especially are a video game classic: old-school God of War, for instance, had a hidden room in every game with scantily-clad women just waiting for you to button-mash away, a little treat for the player's keen puzzle-solving abilities.

Not all romances in BG3 have sex or end with sex, (some even start with sex), but that is because BG3's character writing tries to ground itself in reality despite being a medium people utilize for fantasy. Role-playing a "good" character is mostly easy: you typically know which dialogue choice is the ethical choice, can chide Astarion for being racist, can save the numerous children with moral ease - and BG3 rewards this: a good playthrough is more fleshed out, because you haven't killed off half the cast. You get better gear. You have more allies, better allies. You know what to do.

Or, well, mostly. BG3 is kind of special imo because even the good choices have a lot of nuance, where two people can make different choices but still feel like they both picked the most ethical one. Take Shadowheart's parents, for example: they beg for her to let them go so they can die and save their daughter. Saving them leaves Shadowheart in Shar's clutches - she will experience pain for the rest of her life, but regains her parents, and with luck, Selûne will claim her soul when she dies. Kill them, and Shadowheart is free - truly free, to live her life on her own terms, free from Shar and Selûne both. Both can be the ethical choice, depending on your morals.

"But if Astarion didn't want to have the threesome, the game should have let me stop midway through/made it clearer that this would happen. He said no before Cazador - why couldn't he say no again? Why would Larian put me in this position and make me feel bad when I thought everything was alright? I wanted to be good and have fun, not feel like I pressured my boyfriend." - Strawman G3.

Because BG3 treats it's characters like people. Multiple companions make choices outside of what the player character decides for them - Shadowheart's decision to save or kill her parents, kill or save the Nightsong, or Gale, to go for the crown or not depend on what events they are there to witness personally, or can be informed by conversations you have in camp about unrelated issues. You can fully let them make their own decisions and be surprised each time as they develop into different people with each successive playthrough. A lot of people are surprised when Gale goes for the Crown of Karsus without their input. In my last multiplayer playthrough, we could not prevent Shadowheart from wanting to kill the Nightsong, and so we were forced to kill her.

Astarion is not like that. The way he talks about Ascension changes depending on your relationship. If you're merely friends, he acknowledges it's probably a bad idea, even, in direct contrast to the somewhat obsessive and frightening way he pursues it in a romantic relationship. But Astarion can't decide what to do at the end: he has no hidden point system, no hidden flags - he will always pursue Ascension even if he knows it's a bad idea, because Astarion does not trust himself, has no experience trusting himself, and needs help. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, he needs support to make his own decisions, because in that moment, he cannot be objective.

(If Astarion is ever objective is another story....)

So much of Astarion's reactions and opinions are instinctive and unthinking. "Don't let the pixie out of the lantern, are you an idiot?" -> "A pixie! And honest-to-goodness pixie! *giggles*"

"We don't need a urchin hanging around." -> Astarion approves if you help Yenna

etc. etc. etc. There's so many times he says one thing, the cruel thing, the "fuck everyone else, I've got mine"-thing, and then approves when you do the good thing. Astarion does not live in line with his values (besides pursuing a growing need for freedom) and he frankly does not really know what his values even are.

Astarion doesn't react with glee to finding all the people he seduced - who inadvertently raped him, though they didn't know, some lowlifes and scoundrels and people having a bad day and even some sweet, naive virgins like Sebastian, who took that smoking hot Elf on his word and followed him home, probably in disbelief someone so gorgeous would pay them any attention at all - tortured and locked in a dungeon underground. He's crushed by guilt. He's in pain. Astarion delights in you causing others pain (the torture scene) because it aligns with his worldview, the joy of seeing someone else suffer for once. But he's not a cold-hearted murderer. (And yes, I am differentiating between "adventurer kills a bandit" murder and "deliberately killing someone you know for reasons/no reason" murder.) He doesn't hurt anyone in camp - Shadowheart and Lae'zel are far more dangerous than him. You never have to stop him from drinking anyone else to death. Even if you never feed him again, never use his bite attack, he never bites anyone in camp. Despite being a vampire, Astarion is, effectively, harmless. (Bite night was about checking whether or not Cazador's old command's still worked. It's his first real attempt at freedom, proving to himself that he's free from compulsion. Hence why the roll to get him to stop is a 5, giving you a 75% likelihood of succeeding. He doesn't actually want to kill you. And you get two chances!!!)

Astarion doesn't enjoy death for the sake of death. He's terrified if you side with the goblins and kill the tieflings despite goading you into doing it. I don't doubt that he could hurt others (god knows he's got enough feelings to work out that way), but there's a significant difference between a little knife play and condemning thousands of people to be tortured in the Hells for all eternity. Sacrificing his siblings is different, because they, like him, are guilty, and deserve their deaths. He agrees to sacrifice his fellow spawn as an act of self hatred, of self harm. But all those other people stupid enough to want to sleep with him? Given a day to think about it, I think Astarion would agree that that's not right - and that's why he thanks you for preventing his Ascension. That much murder isn't him. He can be thoughtless, cruel, and unkind, but Astarion isn't a psychopath.

Take him to the brothel, and slipping back into that role, the seductive rake, it as easy as breathing. I don't think Astarion has ever thought about if he's the type of person to enjoy group sex, or even if he wants it. I don't doubt that Astarion enjoys sex, that he wants to have sex (he is, after all that, still shockingly horny), but he's just discovered the idea of having sex with someone he loves. He's riding that high. Of course he says yes: not only is he a different man now (he's free!), it's something he's done a thousand times already - maybe it'll be different this time, maybe something has changed - or maybe, an orgy was on offer, so of course Astarion is there. It's his purpose. He's been doing it for 200 years. Where else would he be?

What I'm saying is that Astarion didn't think about what sleeping with the drow twins meant for your relationship, or how he would feel about it at all. He just went for it. He had a bad time. You then don't discuss it because that would mean admitting that he finally made a choice by himself and it backfired. He didn't think, or maybe he did, and it turns out he just doesn't know himself. Why discuss it? A relationship with G3 apparently means group sex. They probably asked twice. They backtracked all the way to Wyrm's Crossing post-Cazador. Will they ask again? How many times can he say no?

In reality, in the real world, the act of asking can be the problem in and of itself. If your significant other/spouse/lover asks you to do something you don't want to do, be it a threesome, anal, opening the relationship etc, these actions have consequences. The act of asking doesn't happen in a vacuum like it does in video games: there is a cost associated with it, a gamble, and while it may pay off, it may not. Some people get worn down and agree to things they don't want to do. Sometimes you break up because the act of asking is so inherently disrespectful you can't reconcile your differing wants and needs. If you're dating someone who has experienced the gut-wrenching pain of being cheated on, you don't ask 2 months into a new relationship if you can fuck other people. This should not come as a surprise to you, to G3, to anyone. It's common sense.

BG3 giving you the opportunity for a foursome with Astarion not only to give the player their hot'n'spicy sex scene (then playfully bops you on the nose by making it a fade-to-black, you naughty little perverts, you), but also to continue its theme of treating the player like a mature adult, who is dealing with other mature adults, and who can and should live with the consequences of their own actions. Subsequent patches have watered this down, I admit, but I do believe that that was the ethos guiding their work from the beginning. BG3 wants you to interact with the characters like people. If you roll over and tell them what they want to hear, you will Ascend Astarion, and he'll enslave you in turn. If you agree with Gale on everything, he will kill himself and you - or, he'll become a god, becoming the exact sort of god he used to rail against. Agree with Karlach, and she will rather die than go back to the Hells. You get my point.

"But Larian could have let me check in on Astarion midway through. Maybe it was a mistake to ask, but they should have let me check on him and stop it all if he wanted. I was trying to trust him to make his own decisions." - Strawman G3

Ok. We add a dialogue option. "Astarion, love, are you alright? We can stop at any time if you want."

Astarion disapproves (-5)

He's not backing out. Thank you for asking, darling, but fuck off. (I don't think he'd actually say fuck off but the implicit message would be there. I can't see Astarion stopping midway through, nor appreciating you doubting him. Nothing changes.)

"But I still feel bad." - Strawman G3

And I completely understand that. It's a video game. Don't worry! Of course you should get your sex scene - it's a reward! You got their approval high enough! You have enough charisma points! In DA:O, you can also have an orgy, unlocked by giving your companions enough gifts! It's a game! You have enough points, you get the thing!!! You killed Cazador - you win! Have your cake and eat it too! Congrats, you unlocked your hot slutty vampire elf who's basically a trained courtesan, who needs you to be his moral compass, who will never leave you so long as you don't actively rape him - enjoy all the fun orgies in your future!

Your actual choice - the choice the game gives you - is to realize that taking what's essentially a human trafficking victim to a brothel is a dumb idea, but they didn't want to punish you for it.

"Well, Astarion should have said something then. He said no before, he can say no again." - Strawman G3

If you go through life pushing peoples boundaries and expect them to verbally tell you what you're doing wrong, you're gonna be friendless and have a bad time. This ties back to both Astarion having difficulty knowing and defending his own values, BG3 trying to let you make your own decisions without setting out a clear "good or bad" path on occasion, and the hope that you'd use your own morals to make decisions. G3 would never behave in this way irl, and that's where the shock comes from, the guilt from committing an action they thought was without consequence in a risk-free fantasy scenario, and then feeling unpleasantly surprised when called out.

But it's a video game, and you didn't get the little zap, the little sting of an Astarion disapproves in the corner that told you you made the wrong choice. In fact, because he doesn't disapprove, it's not actually the wrong choice!

It really was mean how the Narrator made G3 feel bad, wasn't it. They didn't mean to hurt him. Astarion doesn't mention it, so it's probably fine.

... have you talked to Halsin yet? Surely he had a good time. Right?

CONCLUSION

People think they're good and moral and will typically behave "heroically" in video games. Games support this and reward players for doing so. The "good path" is expected to be clear. However, video games are not real life no matter how much they play at immersion, and multiple games have trained players in a linear "do x, receive y" type fashion. Sex is a reward in games, and is treated that way in real life as well, so players expect the Sharess' orgy scene to be a reward, and are then shocked when Astarion/Gale/Halsin etc reveal during or afterwards that they had a bad time. This is because Larian wants you to treat BG3 like a role playing game and interact with it seriously, and isn't afraid to boop you for your actions in ways that mimic real life relationships. This ethical dissonance makes people uncomfortable especially when they play games to role-play as someone better than themselves, and are surprised when they aren't herded down predetermined "good" paths via instantaneous approval/disapproval mechanics or unlockable "ideal" dialogue.

It is absolutely possible that someday Astarion might be into meaningless group sex with prostitutes for fun and pleasure. However, that is the sort of thing you'd probably either wait for him to bring up by himself organically, or discuss in a long-term trusting relationship after he's had potentially years to process the idea of not immediately hopping into bed with someone, as well as disentangling his instinctive "beaten-in" sexually available behavior from his actual desires. People much more emotionally mature and undamaged than Astarion have destroyed their own relationships by inadvertently pushing a partner (or themselves) into various forms of group sex or other sexual acts. It's not something you do on a random Tuesday on a whim.

Or maybe it is, and I'm just chronically boring and surrounded by boring people lmao

TO THE POSTER THAT INSPIRED THIS: I'm so so sorry if you ever see this, not trying to call you out at all hence no linking, I just wanted to pick apart why I think you felt that way. The thoughts just finally bubbled over after a year+ lol

[honeysulani]

I have to play Astarion's origin if I want to finally romance Gale🥹

[myrkulitescourge]

the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me

just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.

like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.

in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.

how am i supposed to act normal about this.

[catsharky]

Yeah I was right and there was no way I was getting the rest of this done without making you all wait another month or two, so I just went to the next good break point. We're officially past the halfway point with Astarion though, so not too much longer before you actually get to see Rolan again!

Part 1 • Previous Part • Next Part

Full page format under the cut:

[abyssalaerlocke]

New Post-game HCs

Wyll, Shadowheart, and Halsin build their sanctuary, adopting all the animals and kids their hearts desire

Lae'zel and Karlach cutting through Avernus together, until they get Karlach's engine fixed. Then Karlach showing Lae'zel Faerûn, or they turn to the astral plane and overthrowing Vlaakith

Minthara and Durge (who's probably a mind-flayer) go to the Underdark together.

Gale and Astarion find and lead the spawn in the Underdark, probably some queerplatonic dynamic with durgethara

[halamshirals]

did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point

[rackartyg]

hmm i don't think the nuances of astarion's reaction to araj is to do with him finding romanticisation of his vampirism specifically to be distasteful so much as, like, she's objectifying him and that's what he doesn't like (but instead of sex, it's based on his vampirism). something something there's a difference between strangers and someone you trust something

[trevisos]

i’m going to be a hater again for like 20 seconds. about astarion. as per usual.

why do ppl insist on reading (spawn and/or pre-ritual) astarion as possessive of his partner? why do we Want him to have that trait? what is the point. why r we trying to make him possessive and protective when he’s like… not? ascended!astarion is right there u can literally have this if u want it! u don’t need to ascribe it to spawn!astarion when it’s not there. there is Literally A Version Of Events Where It Is True

[fangsandfeels]

Going through all the ascended Astarion stories, where Tav either breaks up with him and reconnects years later, bringing the messiest “divorced couple” vibe along, or becomes his spawn and ends up being completely miserable and at the complete mercy of the vampire lord, I got a vision.

(Short outline: spawn!Tav goes to Avernus to avoid being trapped in a relationship, badassery, horrors, and deep existential issues ensue. Full description of the cringe can be found below)

- Tav agrees to be turned into Spawn by Astarion, ignoring the red flags because they really wanted to believe him and didn’t want to leave him alone. However, after they do, they get slapped with way too many red flags in the face (the “as long as you remember who you belong to” phrase during the second encounter with Araj, the command to shut up after mentioning Cazador’s name, the deceptive reasoning behind why he isn’t making them a full vampire), Tav grows very aware of eternity that awaits them after they defeat the Netherbrain. And it terrifies them. They understand that they don't want to find out what being his consort means. They are no longer sure about anything.

- When Karlach starts burning, Tav talks her out of it and jumps on the opportunity to go to Avernus with her  (and Wyll), before Astarion gets to react and use compulsion on them. They aren't sure it would work, but it does. Small mercies.

- Between fighting off Zariel’s hordes and getting used to their new condition, Tav goes through heartbreak, oscillating between being angry with Astarion to missing him to feeling sorry for themselves. It's a cycle of angst and mental gymnastics, interrupted by battles and stirring trouble in the Hells.

- Ultimately, Tav reflects on the choices and actions that led them to this path. And when they find a way to fix Karlach’s heart, making it possible for her to go to Faerun for good, Tav chooses to stay in the Hells. Not even because they aren’t eager to confront Astarion and get controlled by him, but because they feel they belong there. Cazador might have planned the ritual, and Astarion might have completed it, but it was them who helped him do it -- they can be angry at Astarion all they want, they can tell themselves it's no longer him. They can spend years guessing whether he really wanted it, whether he is happy or not right now. Maybe they did fail him. It all doesn’t matter. They are as guilty for condemning these souls to suffering in the Hells. So, the question is: what will they do about that?

- Basically, a story that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with Astarion, and is mostly focused on a vampire spawn Tav, who navigates hellish landscapes, occasionally helping whatever poor souls they can, learning sad stories of victims who got lured into horrible deals, musing on existential questions and wondering how should they take their life when their luck runs out on them, and they get captured by Archdevils.

- While they avoid signing any contracts or any deals and focus on honing their skills and new vampiric abilities, they do seek ways to modify their body, so they could increase their chances for survival (yes, I freaking love Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, how can you tell?).

- For an extra Divine Comedy (and angsty) flavor, Tav talks to an imaginary Astarion (the one they remember so fondly before his Ascension) -- the habit that started from a random “what the Astarion I knew would have said about this?” thought and kinda became a way to stay sane in this place.

[birb--birb]

What kind of love are you?

Violet: Love as a Threshold

Your love does not ask for much. Your love does not take. Your love is free, and unquestioned, and here for wherever needs it. When you fall in love, it is as gentle as a breath in the night. It is quiet, and it is effortless. It is tender. If your love was a house, it would readily welcome all who come through. If your love was a hearth, it would warm the hands of whoever stopped by, whether for a day, a month, a year, or forever. When you fall for someone, it is without strings, without conditions, without need. You love for the sake of loving, for the sake of caring for those who need it. You love with a giver’s heart and a giver’s hands and are made so much stronger for it. Being loved by you is to always feel at home. Your love may not always be well-received by those unprepared to linger, but it is unforgettable all the same

The second I saw this answer for Violet I knew it was perfect. Their entire romance with Astarion was about patience. Waiting for him to realize that he's truly safe with them, that they doesn't expect anything from him, that he is in the lead here and they'll follow only when he's ready and okay. And waiting without judgement, Violet knows these things take time and they were more than willing to wait, to be there, to just sit and exist with him while he figures shit out. And when he truly let Violet in, I like to think it was like with a comforting sigh, the feeling of coming home, that feeling when all pressure is lifted and you can just *exist* without fear, without judgement.

Violet has seen violence and hatred and yet chooses to show up for those they love as a place of calm and stability, without judgement, without expectations. Violet's love is patient, it doesn't expect anything back but will give you everything just because we all deserve to feel warmth and safety. They feel so much warmth in their heart that they were able to help Astarion get to a place where he feels safe. I think even if they didn't fall in love or end up together, Violet would have still shown up for him in the same way. They know what suffering is like, they've gone through enough of it themselves and come out the other end alive. They know how much it hurts, but also how much easier it is with someone to lean on.

tagged by @cleric4vampire ty for enabling so many feelies about my bbys

Tagging: @justabiteofspite and @dragon--sage (I know yall were already tagged but doing so again for funzies cause I'd love to hear about your Tavs/Durges) and anyone who wants to join in, please do!!

[3gremlins]

i like how all the guides are like "noble/soldier" are the best backgrounds for a paladin and I'm like, shut your faces, kier's (they/he) bg is URCHIN which means they look out for kids/the downtrodden and have bonuses to sleight of hand checks. also they're a drow so you know that was an extra rough childhood. like i rented rooms in the elfsong just for fun and he got inspiration by like just having a real place to stay that wasn't the ground T.T it was neat that the camp moved indoors (including scratch and the owlbear lol, hopefully the inkeepers don't mind owlbear pellets lol)

anyway i really like a character choosing to be a paladin after having a harsh life, you know? it feels more earned than if they grew up in the lap of luxury (noble) or even if they're just a dutiful soldier following orders (*obvs* soldiers can have harsh lives too but the vibe is different). i like that there's so many lost kids in this game you can help too (i realize the guides are just like "oh this bg gives you helpful bonuses" but i think it's more fun to play against type sometimes)

[bear-durs-gate]

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3

Pairing: pre relationship fem!tav x astarion

Rating: M (to be safe since vampirism I guess)

Word count: 1,615

AO3

She dreamt. Dreamt of being in a boat out at sea, floating on silver waves in moonlight with nothing but wind at her back and stars in her hair. The crashing of waves tossed her to and fro but there was a sense of freedom. Of peace. But somewhere from above and below and behind her, she felt it. Eyes watching her. Breath, hot on her neck. Fear prickled and nipped at her nape, nudging her awake.

She jolted upright and nearly smacked heads with Astarion.

“…shit,” he muttered.

“Fucking hell!” She yelped and caught sight of him, teeth bared and recoiling while looking—what—like a school boy in trouble? Beautiful idiot vampire. Surely the guilty act was just a performance though. Hell, she’d play a part if she was caught doing such a silly thing. She hopped to her feet and he backed further away.

“No, no. It’s not what it looks like, I swear!”

She almost laughed. Was he frightened? Of her? When he’s the one with sanguine sucking chompers? “Oh, so you weren’t hovering over me with fangs bared to take a bite? Just having a sniff were you?”

“I wasn’t going to hurt you!” he continued, a bit breathy, “I just needed—well, blood.”

“Ah, yes, the old I wasn’t going to hurt you, just puncture your flesh and take a little sip line. I’ve never heard that one before.” She blinked with lifted brows. “My apologies for such an absurd assumption.” She smirked. “Besides, it’s glaringly obvious now that you need blood. It’s all making perfect sense now. Explains why you’ve been so incredibly slow.”

“Hey, now. I’m not that slow.” His features shifted from fake fear to frowning. “But you’re right. I am in need. I feed on animals but it’s not enough. Not if I have to fight. I feel so weak.” He threw her a look that was probably meant for her to have pity. But all she felt was certain other things. Things she had no business feeling. “If I had just a little blood I could think clearer. Fight better. Please.”

It was cute the way he pleaded. She liked him like that, begging. She wanted to make him do a little more. How far would he be willing to go for her blood. Probably not far seeing as there was a camp full of sleeping possible participants. And he was just about to bite into her if she hadn’t woken up, but living in a bubble of a delectable fantasy seemed rather harmless for a moment.

She cut it off before it really began however. She needed to focus. He didn’t need to catch wind of her base desires. So, she’d put on her own show.

“Bravo. I would clap for you if I could, you always perform so elegantly but you know, I’d rather not wake the others with the encore. My dear boy, I would gladly say yes but I need you to know something first.”

“Yes, go on.”

“I must tell you—if you ever fucking stand over me like that again and wake me from my pleasant dreams with such a frightening stance—breathing on my neck like some spectral from the depths of my deepest nightmares—oh! There will be words—words to be had. A great deal of words. So many words, you will regret you have ears and be begging for someone, anyone—except for me because I refuse to dirty my hands with such grotesque tasks you see—to be chopping them clean off! And I promise you, such an exchange will be utter torment for you and not the pleasurable kind either.”

Astarion shifted from slightly concerned to amused to almost baffled. “So, you aren’t angry?”

“I’m angry that you didn’t just commit to the bit. A scary vampire needs blood to be strong and you’re always judging my choices but then you hesitated? If you wanted to make an ordeal of it, you could’ve sent me an invitation or something, allow me to improv if you needed a flair of dramatics. Give me time to memorize my proper lines. My heavens good boy, I was having the most pleasant of dreams and you had to go and ruin it—making it nightmarish because you could not simply take the bite. Hovering—ugh.” She shuttered. “I do not frighten easy, mind you. And angry is really the wrong word actually—disappointed is more suitable. Yes—very disappointed.”

“Are you saying I can have a taste? I got a bit lost halfway through your speech.”

“Yes.”

He smirked. “And here I thought I would need to be a little more convincing.” His face fell. “I even had a whole speech of my own prepared.”

“Of course you did.” Tav shook her head. “My apologies for disrupting the scenario you had rehearsed in your head but if you just asked me sooner then this could’ve played out exactly as you wanted. But no, you had to do it the hard way.”

“At best I thought you’d say no. More likely you’d ram a stake through my ribs.” He grew more serious as Tav folded her arms across her chest. “I needed you to trust me—and you can trust me.”

“Bullshit.” She unfolded her arms and wagged a finger at him. “I’ll stop you right there. Someone who wants trust doesn’t slink around in the dead of night trying to bite the ones they want to trust them. Come now, my dear boy, we both know this is a matter of you being caught and your words, oh they are very pretty, but unnecessary. Besides, I trust you. About as far as I can throw you.”

He looked her up and down, a smirk pulling at his lips. “I’d say you could throw me quite far.”

“Probably. We could test it out tomorrow.”

“I’d really rather not but thank you. For the trust that is. And I only need a little taste. I swear.”

“A taste—a sample? A taste and how long will that last? No, no, that will not suffice. Feast my boy and recover your strength—though I do ask that you spare me, as you are well aware that I am the most elite performer and we can’t be burdening the others with walking my carcass about, puppeteering and propping me up until we happen across a goodly necromancer now can we?” She raised her brow. “No, we can’t. Or can we? Hmm.” She tapped her chin. “Let’s roll on it shall we?”

She pulled a die from her pocket and tossed it on the ground. A solid one out of twenty. Her fate was sealed for the night. Astarion seemed very amused.

“Well—I suppose you could ask Withers to revive me or use one of Gale’s fancy little scrolls. Though, I do wonder how that will affect my skills—surely there’s some unnamed consequence for an impromptu revival and I do wonder what that might be, hmm. No matter! So long as I can talk, I can do what I must, so if you need my blood to optimize your performance, then my dear boy, you shall have it!” Tavelia tugged on his sleeve. “Now, get to it so I can get back to my dreams and we can carry on same as always—but different because you’ll be stronger and not so painstakingly slow, yes?”

Astarion hesitated. “Really? If you’re sure…”

“We are all consenting adults here. Unless you’ve changed your mind? Does one of our other campmates look tastier? Please say, ‘no, you’re blood is the most compelling. Smells like a finely preserved cheese only to be brought out and paired with the most expensive wine. In fact, you are so special, that I simply had to hover over you particularly just to have a taste. You were simply irresistible.’”

“Well, I wouldn’t have stated it quite like that. So, desperate.” Astarion smiled coyly then raised a brow. “And cheese? I don’t think I’ve ever compared blood to cheese. What a peculiar choice.”

“It’s improv, my good chap. Now let’s get to it, shall we? Don’t be shy.” She gestured to him, coaxing him to come closer. She even turned her neck, tilting slightly while brushing all of her pastel rainbow strands out of the way.

“You are making it weird.”

“Nothing is worth anything if it’s not at least a little weird.”

He shook his head. “Let's make ourselves comfortable, shall we?” He gestured to the bedroll.

Tav situated herself, lying on her back while reaching for her die and pocketing it. “I am as comfortable as I’ll ever be with a shred of fabric between me and the rock hard ground. So I’m ready when you are.”

She’d expected the pain and honestly she’d expected the stupid butterflies that fluttered throughout her stomach but she hadn’t expected to let out the most embarrassing moan. Desperate indeed.

“Oh, sorry,” she muttered but Astarion didn’t seem to notice or care as the blood flowed from her body. Astarion seemed wholly invested in draining her completely but at least he was being gentle about it. Cradling her head as he just kept drinking. And drinking some more.

He drank so much that she started to drift; dizzy and light drifting further into the numbing cold, darkness of night. She closed her eyes, holding back another idiotic moan. Concentrated on the way her extremities went from chilly to nonexistent at all. Maybe he was sending her back to the lovely little boat dream.

Yes, she was floating. Rocking. She was free.

At peace.

She was.

And then she was not.

[nucleqr]

the vibes in this room...

[judasiskariot]

Everyone else in their 30s wishing sometimes, that they are still living alone and got their apartment for themselves?

So that you can run free all of your current hyper fixations unjudged and put up all the merchandise however you want? So that your fiancé only visits you on the weekend and you can decorate however you want? Can hang all the fanart on the walls?

No one? Yes, me neither haha 😅😅😅 I'm normal too hahaha 😅😅

[stranger2time]

Sevryn's senses are full.

The smell of tobacco and rosemary mix in his nose, accompanied by wood smoke and freshly turned earth. His ears take in the sound of the crackling fire, the wind in the trees, and Astarion's voice as he chats with Halsin. The voices fill the small pocket of air between the three's bodies, low and light. The weight of Astarion, pressed against his side, is grounding, and the places where Halsin's legs touch the back of his tingle with warmth. The taste of smoke on his tongue blends with wine and fills him with the heady sense of comfort. The fire light plays over his lovers' faces, pale and red-eyed, tan and scarred.

He drinks it all in... and is content.

[lixbf]

sometimes i feel like my bg3 save is sorta messed up bc like i think technically my tav is w halsin too but theres no options when talking to him for like breaking up and all that and now i slept w mizora as like an experiment or smth and wyll said smth abt "our happily ever after wasn't meant to be" like huh??? i thought that after that one kiss after dancing they had like mutually decided to just be besties bc wyll isnt into being poly and no way in hell am i gonna end things w astarion for anyone