#my stuff is lame-/j

[tiredemzz]

What The Fu- *blows myself up* /j

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? AM I DREAMING?

Apparently I’m not-

Thank you yall for 100 followers <3

Srs tumblr hates me yall, no joke lmao.

[hellishgayliath]

Never seen the nightmare on elm street movies and have watched the majority of friday the 13th movies (still debating on seeing jason x and the remake) and gotta say Freddy vs jason is so damn entertaining to watch. I don't know shit bout the stuff that happens in the other freddy movies other than the videos i see people discuss bout it but the characters in the movie lay out a lot of the plot points that helped me get the general gist of things. Dunno if that acting is just how it is in the other Freddy movies, but I had fun watching it.

[nomaishuttle]

anything exciting going on today guys. ive been playing sdv all day due to the devil resides within me

[aesthetixhoe]

posts while dating matt sturniolo — M.S.

warnings: cursing, obvi, like one sex joke

pronouns: she/her

authors note: i know they live in california so there's no snow, hush, idc

liked by Nicolassturniolo, Tarayummy, Matthew.Sturniolo, and 702,403 others

[y/n].[l/n] jinkies! 🧡💚

Matthew.Sturniolo I can help you find your glasses

| Nicolassturniolo OR FIND THE DOOR! GROSS

Tarayummy ur sweeter than candy 😋

| [y/n].[l/n] you would know ;)

Samgolbach you should do a ghost hunt with us then, Velma

| [y/n].[l/n] I would make the ghost talk immediately, I'm too good at the job

Liked by [y/n].[l/n], Nathandoe8, Christophersturniolo, and 494,425 others

Matthew.Sturniolo late night adventures

[y/n].[l/n] 🩷🫶

Nicolassturniolo why's she sittin in your lap 🤨

| Nathandoe8 she took my spot

| Matthew.Sturniolo I have a leg for you, and a leg for her

Liked by Samgolbach, Tarayummy, Matthew.Sturniolo and 739,449 others

[y/n].[l/n] I drag him everywhere

Tarayummy walk him like a dog sis

| [y/n].[l/n] I always do

Nicolassturniolo get him a leash atp

| [y/n].[l/n] only if he's into that

| Christophersturniolo WOAH

| Matthew.Sturniolo I AM NOT FOR THE RECORD

| Nathandoe8 thats not what you told me...

Liked by Christophersturniolo, [y/n].[l/n], Nathandoe8, and 503,130 others

Matthew.Sturniolo ❤️‍🔥

[y/n].[l/n] twinning 😋

Nicolassturniolo 🧌

| [y/n].[l/n] :(

| Nicolassturniolo [y/n].[l/n], not you, matt

| [y/n].[l/n] oh ok! :)

Christophersturniolo lame ass caption 🥱

| Matthew.Sturniolo lame ass face

| Christophersturniolo WE HAVE THE SAME FACE

Liked by Christophersturniolo, Nicolassturniolo, Matthew.Sturniolo and 831,584 others

[y/n].[l/n] I love my, love my, love my little calendar girl

Matthew.Sturniolo calendar BOY

| Christophersturniolo calendar baby more like

| [y/n].[l/n] I don't hate the sound of that

Liked byTarayummy, Matthew.Sturniolo, Nicolassturniolo, and 493,741 others

[y/n].[l/n] always holding my hand

Tarayummy cutie patooties

Matthew.Sturniolo YOU hold MY hand

| [y/n].[l/n] THEYRE WARM CAN YOU BLAME ME??

| Matthew.Sturniolo GET WARMER HANDS???

Nicolassturniolo cute I guess 🙄

Liked by Nicolassturniolo, Nathandoe8, [y/n.[l/n] and 593,223 others

Matthew.Sturniolo she forced me

[y/n].[l/n] LIAR! you loved it.

| Matthew.Sturniolo Nuh uhhh

Nathandoe8 hot stuff

Tarayummy shes mine >:(

| [y/n].[l/n] I have enough love for both of you

Liked by Tarayummy, Christophersturniolo, Matthew.Sturniolo, and 724,948 others

[y/n].[l/n] life lately >>

Tarayummy hey that's me!!

| [y/n].[l/n] you know it babe 😘 best party ever

Christophersturniolo she put that sticker on me

Nicolassturniolo the shit you guys get up to in your bedroom is insane. Even the pg stuff

| [y/n].[l/n] I'm an acrobat, what can I say 😊

| Matthew.Sturniolo and I squat

| Christophersturniolo you sure?

Liked by [y/n].[l/n], Nicolassturniolo, Nathandoe8, and 450,103 others

Matthew.Sturniolo damn it feel good to have you

[y/n].[l/n] ur my person

| Matthew.Sturniolo ur mine

Nathandoe8 king

Christophersturniolo j cole? 😲

Tarayummy shes MINE actually

[star-writes-fanfiction]

Heyyy could you possibly write a oneshot with Natasha Romanoff as a soft dom like you had her in your nsfw headcannons? Like if she was jealous at a party or something? Also I love your writing sm I just found you and am very happy I did :)

Omg of course this made me smile so much 😭😭 ur so nice :)) I wrote this from a female pov - I assume that's what you wanted but if not I can write it with different pronouns and stuff. <3

Cw: smut [<fingering, oral, edging, scissoring>], NOT PROOF READ, may edit later.

:: j e a l o u s y :: ☆ :: n a t a s h a ::

It was yet another party at the tower celebrating yet another stupid thing that Natasha couldn't care less about. I mean, she's not exactly shy around a crowd, not when she could easily beat them up in a matter of seconds, but she's not an extrovert by any means.

You, on the other hand, love to talk and interact with everyone, not staying in one conversation too long before making your way to the next. That night wasn't any different - you'd already made your way around half of the room, complimenting outfits and dress shoes.

And that's how you ended up talking to Carol, while Natasha glared at you from the bar with her watchful eye.

You weren't flirting - you wouldn't do that to Natasha - but perhaps you telling Carol her hair looked nice while running your hair through it was interpreted differently by your girlfriend. Before you even noticed her moving, she was by your side, arm around your waist.

"Sorry to interrupt you, Carol, but I need to talk to my girlfriend about something," she said with a slight snarl, taking you by the wrist.

"Oh! Umm, see you later Carol, I guess," you said, making a lame attempt to wave as you were dragged along.

Natasha led you up to her office, heels clacking on the floorboards as she walked. "What the Hell was that?" She asked when you got to the door, pulling it open and pushing you through it. You stuttered in reply, unsure of what she meant. "What was what? What did I do?" You asked with a yelp as she picked you up and placed you on her desk.

Her arms crossed in disapproval. "Your little married couple act with Carol. 'Til death do us part my ass." She began to unzip your dress as she talked - you blushed a furious shade of red. "We weren't flirting, I was just being nice, Tash," you protested, squirming as her hands pulled the dress over your head. "Well, I hope you enjoyed it, because I'm not gonna be so nice to you."

She rubbed her hands over the top of your bra, fingers finding the back and deftly removing it. Your nipples hardened as they came into contact with the cold air, Natasha taking one into her mouth, fingers playing with the other. You let out a soft breathy moan at her actions, letting your eyes flutter shut.

Her mouth moved slowly down your front, planting kisses as she went. When she reached your panties, she smirked against your skin. "Mm, you ready, Princess?" Her thumbs hooked onto the lace of your underwear, giving it a gentle tug. "You're so beautiful," she muttered, ducking her head down between your thighs. You gasped at the sudden contact, falling back onto your elbows.

Being a woman herself, Natasha knew exactly were your most sensitive spots were. She smiled as her tongue latched around your clit, your body trembling and back arching.

"Bet Carol can't fuck you like I can..." she muttered as her fingers replaced her mouth, curling in you and reaching that spot that made you see stars.

"God, Natasha, keep going!" You shouted as you felt your orgasm building. As if on cue, Natasha pulled out of you, all her work disintegrating into nothingness. She planted a kiss on your forehead. "You really thought I'd let you cum after what you did? You'll have to earn it baby," she said, tangling her fingers through your hair.

You pouted. "Please, Natasha?" You said, looking up at her with puppy dog eyes. She looked unimpressed. "Do it yourself," she said, smirking as she pulled out a vibrator from her desk's top drawer. Why does she have that in there? You thought before coming to your senses. She wanted you to... touch yourself... in front of her?

"Go on," she said, sitting back in her chair and watching you as your face as you experienced every emotion known to mankind. God, this is embarrassing... you thought as the vibrations came into contact with your clit, sending fireworks through your body. But any humiliation was quickly replaced with intense pleasure, your body shaking as your orgasm approached.

"Oh my God, Natasha," you said, back arching as you came dangerously close to your climax. It'll never be as good if it's not Natasha, you thought sourly as you came, probably ruining her paperwork.

"Good girl, you did great," Natasha said, disposing of her own dress and panties and climbing onto the desk. You lifted up your chin so your eyes met hers. "Have you ever been scissored, Princess?" She asked with a gentle smile. Whatever annoyance she'd had before had now been replaced with a need to pleasure you.

You shook your head. "That's fine, I'll guide you," she said, tangling her legs with yours and lowering herself down. "God, Princess," she said softly, beginning to move. The contact felt so undeniably euphoric, and eventually you found your rhythm until you were both a grinding jumble. Natasha ran a hand through her cherry-red hair, her eyes rolling back. Your breathing was replaced with guttural moans as your rubbed against one another, your thighs shaking as your second climax arrived. "Natasha, I'm gonna cum-" you said, and she smiled. "It's okay, my love, me too," she said, her moments becoming less and less mechanical and more sloppy. Your side left the table as you both came, shocked by how good you felt.

"God, Tash, remind me to chat up girls again next time," you joked, pulling your legs away and starting to clean yourself up.

"Don't you dare," she replied with equal enthusiasm, standing up from the desk. Damn, that was hot...

OMG I'M SO SORRY IF IT SUCKED I've never written lesbian porn before lmao 😭😭 anyways tysm for requesting, and plz like and rb as always yall. I love you guys!

- star ✨️

[insaturnity]

HEAVE-HO! i am here to remake my intro, because my old one was deleted due to being outdated, and lame hehe! this post will have quite a bunch of tags, but i’ll try to limit it to my main things so that it’s not eight bajillion things haha!

⇢ 🖤🪐, Dark Saturn Zacody

—⇢ 16, he/him, system

—⇢ 2d artist [traditional and digital] and animator, 3d modeller and animator, painter, writer, mask-maker, fursuit creator, toyhouse code creator, voice actor

—⇢ multi-fandom, multi-shipper X3

—⇢ creator of the show “The Lost Tale of the Aisiers”

—⇢ open to online friends

—⇢ I made the COMPLEXITY AU [Host to all the AU’s below]

⇢ I made the Our Efforts Are Fatal AU [Murder Drones]

⇢ I made the Rockstar Adore AU [Sonic]

⇢ I made the Chamuel’s Hope AU [Mandela Catalogue]

⇢ I made the Pyro-Pressure AU [Pressure]

—----------—

MY INTERESTS [alphabetical order]

—----------—

Amazing Digital Circus

Bluey

Cars

Good Omens

How To Train Your Dragon

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Mandela Catalogue

Minecraft

Minecraft Storymode

Murder Drones [all-time / primary]

My Little Pony

Ninjago

Pressure

Sonic

Spiderman

Spider-verse

Team Fortress 2

Ultrakill

Wings of Fire

X-men

—----------—

BANDS N PPL I LISTEN 2 [alphabetical order]

—----------—

Autumn J.

Badflower

Bad Omens

Citizen Soldier

Falling In Reverse

Fall Out Boy

Ghost & Pals

Hollywood Undead

Ice Nine Kills

In This Moment

NF

NOTHING MORE

tuv

—----------—

DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE / SUPPORT…

—----------—

Homophobe

–Transphobe

– Anti-Xenogender or Neopronouns

Zoophile

Pedophile or anything related to such

Racist

Proshipper / Comshipper

Trump endorser or supporter

Pro-israel

General shipping discourse

Radqueer

Non-recovery [wants to get worse]

Sexualise age regression

13; not fully a dni, but i will be more cautious around u

--under 13; please leave dawg

—----------—

PLEASE INTERACT IF YOU…

—----------—

—⇢ are into any of the stuff i like

—⇢ indulge in any of the hobbies i do

—⇢ sk8boarder with similar interests

—⇢ make murder drones related art or animations

—⇢ therian with similar interests

—⇢ dragon therian

—⇢ want to learn more abt tLTotA :)

—⇢ sonadow shipper

—⇢ fanfic writer

—⇢ play Sonic exe the disaster

—⇢ to be added!

[asclexe]

⭐️ government-forced blog intro post ⭐️

(new and improved!)

welcome to marvin’s marvelous mechanical museum!

🌟⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟

^ me if you even care..

art above by the one and only @pingunaa

remember 2 to do ur daily clicks for palestine

free everyone!! help some people in need!!!

fun websites masterlist

suicide hotlines

this could save your life!

kys /j <3 (KEEP YOURSELF SAFE /srs.)

hai!! hello!! hey!! what’s up!! basic info/fun stuff below the cut (very long intro soo sorry)

*flash/blink warning for the blinkies

name: asclexe formally? cameron causally, but call me whatever! no, seriously! idc! nicknames (ex: cam, ronnie, cammy, etc) are welcome! feel free to call me your pookie or your son or child or something, be creative!

⭐️gender and pronouns: i am uhhh. nonbinary i think. they/them preferred, but it/its or he/him are also fine!! i prefer gender neutral terms, but i also am more masc leaning. like im a man. but also just a person.

⭐️not specifying my age but im a minor. B cool!! internet safety!!

⭐️sexuality: aromantic asexual aplatonic lesbian dumbfuck

⭐️nationality/country: american fuck my stupid baka life (EST timezone)

⭐️ i am also white :/

⭐️star sign: leo :3

⭐️personality type: intj (also houses mtbi if u care)

⭐️religious alignment: atheist cause im god /j 💪💪

bigots and pedos/zoos are lame and not welcome. i bite scammers. exclusively nsfw/kink blogs not welcome. im a kid. ed blogs please do not follow me because im uncomfortable with that. also don’t expect a follow back if youre over 24 cus thats weirdd

also if ur a diehard stan of anything pls think :3

dni if you’re from earth or human. aliens only blog. /j

and everyone else is welcome :3

⭐️fandoms im most active in:

house md

doctor who (only on season 2!!)

good omens

warrior cats (on arc 5 but i don’t plan on reading them)

dungeon meshi

movies in general

+ any other fandoms i consume in the future!!

⭐️fandoms i rarely post abt but still enjoy

tbosas/the hunger games

dead poets society

six feet under

a series of unfortunate events

fnaf

she-ra/the owl house/steven universe/gravity falls/etc

bluey

barbie/monster high

doogie howser md

scott pilgrim

the amazing digital circus

the middle

stardew valley

the spiderverse

abbott elementary

aggretsuko

i will post abt my sims occasionally :3 most posts are text posts bc im untalented

*i’m looking to get into evangelion, supernatural, hannibal, saw, and dexter 👍

i write fanfiction and poetry (i take requests feel free to hmu), i do local theater, i make pride icons (also requests hmu) i drabble in the occasional doodle, and i like baking and watching youtube and scrolling through tumblr and walking through the forest and my neighborhood and making bracelets and spending money and laying on the floor and singing and dancing and being silly and reading medical textbooks and cool novels and hanging with my irls and idk, yeah! life! carpe diem!

*also i’m trying to get into reality shifting! (im not a freak i swear)

⭐️my fav music artists (a little all over the place:3) jack stauber, will wood, lemon demon, tally hall/miracle musical, dazey and the scouts, mommy long legs, the oozes, bear ghost, mitski, chappell roan, weezer, the smashing pumpkins, my chemical romance, laufey, liana flores, faye webster, MARINA, pearl & the oysters, queen, no doubt, slipknot, korn, mindless self indulgence, hole, some olivia rodrigo, charli xcx, some vocaloids,

i love pretty much all kinds of jazz, rock, and showtunes (except ballads. i dislike ballads)

my music taste can be described as like. neurodivergent weird kid alt rock and hot girl summer pop.

(music recs are very much welcome <33)

*taylor swift enjoyers follow at your own risk (i hate on her occasionally. i really dislike her music and she’s also not that great of a person)

random facts about me :3

⭐️i’m left-handed (bully me for it ik im a freak)

⭐️unfortunately a theater kid :/

⭐️tall for this website

⭐️the most insufferable and annoying person ever

⭐️DOESNT BITE!! (i swear)

⭐️ i’m genetically pitch perfect but i’m awful with rhythm

⭐️favorite planet is ur mom (i ❤️ venus)

⭐️honors roll baby 🔥🔥

⭐️im most likely neurodiverse?? undiagnosed but speculated

⭐️perpetually alone only child 😔 please talk to me i love chatting with people, asks and replies preferred, dms okay <33

⭐️favorite color green. all of the shades.

⭐️i haven’t cried properly in like a year and i am not breaking my mewing streak

⭐️minorly touch/attention starved :3

⭐️single & ready to mingle!! (please don’t fucking talk to me like that im aroace and a minor )

⭐️REBLOGGING MACHINE 💪💪

⭐️i’ve never seen an episode of spongebob but saw the musical

⭐️#1 BEST XBOX SIMMER 🔥🔥

⭐️im nicer than i seem (i’m also a very negative person in general but i keep my thoughts to myself!)

⭐️i have a massive sweet tooth :3

⭐️(new) tags guide!⭐️

*note this is a new system i’m trying out, some older posts do not apply

#asclexeposting - all original content

#camyyaps - unhinged text posts/late night eepy time posts/yapping in the tags

#cam touches grass - the rare times i go outside and touch grass and do stuff

#ask the fellows - relating to my ask blog (go follow it go do it its @ask-the-ducklings go ask stuff)

#me ask :3 - reblog of something i asked another blog

#mootie :3 - if we’re mutuals and you send me an ask i tag it with this :3

*you also get your own individual tag for asks, for example @pingunaa is ping :3 and @rubeslovesthesmiths is rubes :3, etc

#cammy’s 4 later tag :3 - stuff for later!!

#cam plays the sims :3 - my simming tag

old man doctor yaoi prompt list :3

my house md oc :3

⭐️side blogs!⭐️

@ask-the-ducklings - ask/roleplay blog 4 the house md duckligns

1/2 of @meanwhile-on-the-road, the other half is pookie @sillyhyperfixator

@house-md-referrer - house md references

@theindierockcafe - writing blog

this will be mostly reblogs of my silly mutuals/my fyp, i try to make original content often! I ❤️ REBLOGGING ART YOU SHOULD DO IT TOO!!!! hope we can get along! ask me whatever! i don’t know! be nice and respectful cause i’m a minor!

SPAM MY ASK BOX :3 create lore, send me images, ask for comfort, WHATEVER!!!! im friendly and ill answer your ask eventually.

disclaimer; i live in the us and a snowflake so im occasionally political, nothing too extreme im just scared 👍 i also don’t spoiler tag!! sorry!

if you want me to share your fundraiser; give me some time to verify you!!!! i promise im not ignoring you!!

blinkies made in the blinkie cafe :3

[starfruitwyne]

The Twilight Bunch Smoking Weed Headcanons 🌲✨🌲

Ya know, if vampires could get high 👀✨

Bella

Is hesitant to partake her first time 'round but tries to pull it off as her thinking it's just a lame activity.

Insists everyone else go first.

The lighter never works for her.

Needs to be held or have weight on her once she's reached a high.

Goes completely silent.

"Will I smell when I go home?"

In Her Smoke Playlist: Boygenius - Souvenir

Edward

Lights Bella's joints.

Enjoys doing things with his hands once he's high like drawing or playing with a fidget toy. Will usually be rolling the next J.

Goes on looong tangents. "Remember that one time..."

If anyone (Bella) greens out he wraps them up like a burrito on the couch and gives them water.

Alice makes him laugh so hard he has to leave or he'll get sick.

"This stuff's kinda weak."

In His Smoke Playlist: Debussy - Arabesque

Rosalie

On her damn phone.

Bubble gum is her munchie of choice and she pops it as a mood regulator.

Holds onto the joint for too long cuz she forgets she has it.

Leans against Emmet and occasionally shows him a meme she found on insta.

Hums to whatever song is playing on the loud speaker.

"I'm fucking cold."

In Her Smoke Playlist: The Cranberries - Ode To My Family

Alice

Bella's cuddle buddy.

Gets INCREDIBLY flirty with everyone.

In your nightmare blunt rotation.

Comes out with the funniest quotes of the smoke sesh, which get repeated at future get togethers. "What was that thing Alice said last time??..."

Has to move around, usually by dancing.

"Do you wanna make out?"

In Her Smoke Playlist: Fleetwood Mac - Dreams

Emmett

Asleep.

"Honk shoo honk shoo"

Jasper

A little jumpy but laughs it off.

Usually playing a video game in the background.

Has the most terrifying zoned out stare which everyone HAS to snap him out of cuz it freaks everyone out.

Crashes the hardest.

"How long has this song been playing?"

In His Smoke Playlist: Jonny Cash - Ring of Fire

^^^ He accidently queues it into the Spotify Party 27 times. Each time it plays everyone loses it.

[sadie-bug345]

gang as members of a group project🤓☝️

idk abt yall but i actually despise group projects when the teacher picks the groups like please let me live in peace😔

ponyboy: - he honestly seems like a chill worker - i don’t think he’d take charge and be like “cmon guys let’s get to work😃😜” - instead he’d just be like “i’ll do the conclusion or whatever” - AND EAT EM UP LIKE HE DESTROYED - lowk everyone’s happy whenever pony’s in their group like yes we have a smart kid who isn’t a total snob - pony on a bad day would definitely put his name first on the project though😭

johnny: - probably wouldn’t talk a lot if he had like no friends in his group - he’d procrastinate his part for sure but get it done by the time it’s due - either that or he just speedruns it so he doesn’t have to work with lame people anymore - honestly doesn’t care abt the other people in the group he just locks in and gets his part done -def a solid team member we’re glad to have him🫶

sodapop: - elected group leader or smth even though he just sits there - everyone’s like “uhh soda what’s the plan” and he’s just totally zoned out - it’s ok though cause he just helps whoever doesn’t have their part done yet - chill for the most part but in a group of no friends he def feels out of place and tries hard to get them to like him - stop embarrassing yourself soda i promise people like you already😔

darry: -probably unironically says “okay guys let’s knock this out😀” - it’s ok cause he makes sure the project eats - probably secretly goes on the google slides or whatever and edits other peoples stuff if it’s not up to his standards - he doesn’t fw people who just sit there - he WILL give them something to do and helicopter parent them the whole way -A+s all around ngl

dally: - in reality probably a slacker😭 - but everyone’s happy to have him there cause he fine asf - anyways he’d be the biggest procrastinator - doesn’t do ANYTHING in class but secretly takes his part home and just grinds it out - it’s pretty low quality but it’s done - after pulling an all-nighter he probably looks at it and cringes cause it’s kinda trash - so he just puts his name first and erases all evidence that he messed the project up😭 - best team player /j

two-bit: - a blast to have on the team - like when the teacher was announcing groups everyone was hype to have the funny kid - probably wrecks the project but he’s like “oh shit oh no uhhh ill buy everyone something from the vending machine after okay😔☝️” - these kids GPAs will never recover after being in a group with two😭 - but it’s just cause he’s so funny everyone gets distracted and doesn’t do any work - probably forgets to put his name on the project - which is ok cause he did like nothing LMAO

steve: - he’s usually pretty chill - but when it’s crunch time and the project isn’t finished he’s a bit of a bitch - like “are you done with your part yet?” and then the teammate is like “…no” and he hits them with the biggest eye roll - then he just does it himself - also puts his name first or claims the best part as his own - everyone side eyes him when he freaks when the teacher says there’s ten minutes left of work time - he’s goofy in a good mood though so it’s not all stress and nerves - probably gets his team a solid B

ANYWAYS hope you liked this and my requests are always open🫶😀

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #325

I'm definitely going to need to send my laptop away to get the screen replaced; it has seen much better days:

It's still kinda holding together. But there are lines of dead pixels on the bottom left side, so I imagine it's only a matter of time before the screen goes completely kaput. Lame...

I wasn't nearly as productive today as on previous days. I think doing all that cooking and all those dishes really pissed off whatever's wrong with the upper right quadrant of my body (at this point, I suspect serratus posterior superior dysfunction of some kind...). When I went to PT today (weird day of the week for it, I know...), the trapezius and the rhomboids on my right side got mashed up, and now the whole area is super pissed, and it's kinda hard to move or breathe or do anything.

On the bright side, I did get to talk with that Canadian immigration lawyer today. I'll tell you all about him, but after I get his permission to do so in this space.

Still, I have the first few steps of the process of getting out of here outlined. First, we have to take an English test called an IELTS, and also get our academic credentials evaluated by a Canadian company of some kind, in order to make sure they're up to snuff for Canadian employers.

Well, as it turns out, we cannot take the IELTS without passports. And, though J and I have ours, M's expired over a decade ago, so we had to go to an appointment to get a new one. It's not going to get to our house for another 6-8 weeks, though. We'll have to wait before we schedule the test. But we should be able to get our academic credentials evaluated. I'll look into that process tomorrow.

...I forgot to eat for most of today. Before leaving for physical therapy, I did stuff a couple slices of cold cuts into my mouth, but that's hardly substantial. My appetite has been kinda weird these last couple days. At around 7pm or 8pm, though, I remembered that my body needs fuel. So I made a salad:

It's got mixed greens, tomatoes, onions, black beans, goat cheese, scrambled egg, and crushed Fritos in it. And then I put ranch dressing on top. Want some...?

I made some tea to go with it; that vanilla bean macaron tea. Here:

...These aren't the best swirls, I know. I think the focus must have been off, and I didn't notice until it was too late. Sorry about that.

…

...I spent most of the rest of today just floundering, partially numb, and foggy of brain. I wanted to play Oddworld, but... I just couldn't bring myself to. I wanted to doodle, but... I dunno. Even with a plan spelled out and things to tentatively look forward to, it's still kinda hard to think.

I guess I'm still a little sad that so many people voted for someone who wants to kill me and my little family and almost all of the people I love.

...I just... want to live a life in which everyone gets to be happy and safe. And I know that this could happen if everyone worked together, but there's so many different people with so many different kinds of trauma, and all of them have their own ideas about which kinds of people do and don't deserve to live (there's no such thing as a person who doesn't deserve to live). I wish for a world in which it was easier for folks to cast aside the conditioning they received that teaches them to associate the worth of themselves and of others with silly, arbitrary things.

We are all the same in that we want to live in peace with people we love. And given that everyone wants that, it shouldn't be so hard to do, but... a lot of people get taught that the only way they can live happily is if some other group of people defined by arbitrary characteristics didn't exist, and... I think that's really sad. It's really sad that some people truly do believe, for example, that the only way they can be happy and safe is if every single person with dark skin and every single person who was ever at any point related to someone with dark skin ceased being alive.

...I just wanna live someplace where we aren't near people who would be happy to kill us. I think everyone wants that. And this shouldn't be a difficult thing to find in my world, but... here we are.

...Well. One step at a time. We'll follow the immigration process one step at a time, and hope for good things. But... ya know. If there's any chance you can just “zoop” us all over to where you are... I certainly wouldn't be opposed. You could use the company. And I could use a nap.

No, I know; it's impossible. I know. But it's still nice to think about. I'll just keep making preparations to protect my little family, and I'll do whatever I can for the others around me in the meantime. I'll write the steps to the immigration process as we go through it; maybe it'll help someone else, somehow.

Suppose I'll stop writing for today. I feel like if I keep going, I'm gonna ramble on ya (if I haven't already). And I feel like I'm a bit too weird in the brain right now to express myself particularly well in any case.

Don't worry. I'm tired and feeling kinda sad and lost, but I'm not down for the count – not while I have people to protect.

Tomorrow is when M and I decided to celebrate our wedding anniversary this year. It'll be our 10th year of marriage, though we've been together for 12. I can't believe how quickly the time has passed. I can't believe he hasn't gotten tired of me yet, hahaha...

We're gonna go to a sushi place to celebrate. It'll be me and J and M all together at the place we ate on the day we got married. Maybe I'll tell you more about that tomorrow.

I love you a whole lot. And I'll write again tomorrow. So please stay safe out there, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[justanotherpersonwhowrites]

Welcome To My Humble Abode

Big John had finally agreed to let JJ come over for to their house to hang out. Something John B had been begging for since they first met halfway through second grade and after their official declaration of becoming best friends at the start of third grade. But despite the begging, Big John never relented, telling his kid — who would promptly relay the information to JJ — that he didn’t want anyone over who might break something. Which translated to “I don’t want to lose any of my precious research on the Royal Merchant that is way more important than my son’s happiness.” At least that’s what John B said it meant. But finally, after three years of persistence, Big John relented and JJ was heading home with his best friend. And JJ was…excited. Sure. He was curious to see his best buds home, know what his room looked like, where John B spent his days away from JJ. He also knew that homes could be sketchy. OR The first time JJ visits John B's house and the first time John B visits JJ's

“Ta-da!” John B suddenly exploded arm shooting out in front of him. “That’s it! That’s the Chateau!”

JJ took it in, eyes wide. The house was big! Nothing like the ones on Figure Eight, but compared to JJ’s own house this place looked like a castle. Relatively secluded from anyone, surrounded by the odd tree and a lot of land, and the house was gunning for Kook attention.

“Why’d you never tell me you were a Kook?” JJ asked, turning an accusing look on John B, though there was laughter hidden behind his eyes.

John B shoved his shoulder, pushing JJ slightly off balance. “I’m not a Kook, J” He warned, laughter spilling from his lips as well.

They approached the house in relative silence after that. JJ taking in his surroundings. It was a nice piece of land, close to the water, buried behind trees and hidden from other houses around. It felt secluded, but not in the way his home did. This felt peaceful, nothing about the lot screamed “I’m ominous, avoid me as often as possible!”

When they approached the steps some minutes later, Big John was standing in the doorway waiting. He was a big man, bigger than JJ’s own father, with a strong build and a firm face. Not a mean looking face, but not a particularly nice looking one either. And even though JJ had met him before — in town, or on the occasion that he took John B someplace and allowed JJ to tag along — today felt different, like the man was sizing him up to see if he would be easy prey. JJ felt a lump rise in his throat and his feet freeze in place on the top step.

“Good afternoon, sir,” JJ mumbled, ducking his head to try to still his heart's insistent pounding.

“Good afternoon, JJ. How was school?”

JJ looked up quickly, trying to assess whether the question was directed at John B or himself, but when his best friend made no move to answer he decided to do so himself. “It was pretty good…sir. We…uh….” JJ tried to think of something they covered. “We learned stuff,” he finished lamely.

Big John didn’t seem to appreciate that answer as his mouth pressed into a thin line. “We can only hope,” he mumbled in that way adults do when they think children’s hearing is less developed than their own. JJ ignored the words anyway.

Ao3 FFN

[iiikaruz]

New CH episodes have made me officially decide to stop caring about the actual cast of the show </3 (/hj but i wish it was /j)

Anyway would you like to share some of your headcanons/scenarios for the side/minor characters ? It always makes my day 💚💖(/nf)

dude i feel you on these new episodes. wtf is going on over there. anyways, i’ll gladly dump this 10 ton stack of headcanons on you that i wrote down!! Marie Antoinette: 

loves hyperpop and 90s house music. she’s so slay (i have a playlist lol)

into european weirdo cinema like Gaspar Noe’s but she also likes chick flicks (her fave films are Climax (2018), Daisies (1966), and But I’m A Cheerleader (1999).)

frequents on lolita forums and goes to really shady places just to get cute lolita items.

has absolutely mastered voguing. super into ballroom culture.

has a pet borzoi (those groovy long-nosed dogs.) her name is “Vanille” and Marie loves her dearly.

wants to study fashion. she especially loves Vivienne Westwood and Moschino.

Jesús Cristo:

is a juggalo, and he indoctrinated Van Gogh into it as well.

says “it is what it is” at any minor inconvenience.

had a mental crisis at 13 as a product to the stress of living up to his clone father. similar to joan’s breakdown in s1e3 but 10x worse. he tries to ignore it when people bring it up.

designated driver on any road trip. for some reason.

into bands like The Cure whilst also bopping to Cypress Hill.

his fave video game is Parappa the Rapper.

accidentally punching holes/nails into his hand is a common occurrence. seems like it just keeps happening, so he’s learned to just roll with it. he’s also a pretty good nurse bc of it.

Marilyn Monroe:

is always down for the school play. BUT she usually just does script-writing and tech. 

into conspiracy theories and video essays. (all gorgeous gorgeous girls love video essays).

is a dedicated Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani stan.

SO “COQUETTE LIZZY GRANT DIOR RETRO” in her fashion choice.

she also gives “elle woods from legally blonde” vibes. straight A student right here.

CERTIFIED GIRLBOSS <3

Thomas Edison:

is obsessed with American Psycho (2000). he has a poster in his room and he’s weirdly obsessed with Christian Bale (very 🍎🍉🍊 of him, but he always excuses it with “oh no, i just idolize and worship him. there’s absolutely nothing gay ab it.” he’s lying.)

also he’s SUCH a pretentious film bro. he has a whole library of stupid film facts shoved in the back of his mind (im totally not projecting).

he only listens to: 80s new-wave stuff like New Order, Oingo Boingo, Beastie Boys, & Talking Heads OR Lana del Rey. There is no in between.

he worked (past-tense bc that shit is GONE in 2023) at a blockbuster video store next to the mall and he liked being a total bitch to people about it (example: “you really rented this shit? this movie sucks, dude”)

after getting unfreezed, he was ECSTATIC over how easy pirating movies is nowadays.

Napoleon Bonaparte:

member of the speech/debate club and he is THE WORST TO BE PAIRED WITH. he’s foaming at the mouth the moment someone gives a rebuttal he didn’t think of. some meetings end in him trying to beat up someone. 

into 80s rock like Metallica and Black Sabbath. he has an electric guitar. he also FUCKING LOVES ABBA AND JAMIROQUAI. like… too much.

unlawfully good at Just Dance. he absolutely fucks it up on the dance floor.

adores fantasy films like Conan (1982) and The Never-Ending Story(1984). he’s so lame/ pos.

he bakes really well. that’s all he’s got going for him.

he either found his napoleonic military uniform at party city or at a thrift store with Marie Antoinette; his story changes depending on who he’s talking to.

he cut his own hair when he was 14. the following conversation after he did so was with caesar, and it was just the haircut scene from fleabag . he then continued to keep his stupid haircut to what it is now.

is a hopeless romantic. he can make up entire love poems & sonnets in his head about a girl he’s crushing on, but literally cannot talk to people without sounding like a douchebag unless he’s super comfortable w/ them.

Ivan the Terrible:

is an avid deftones, sewerslvt, & duster listener (i, unfortunately, ALSO have a playlist.)

spends his nights scrolling on 4chan and arguing w/ people. him & topher have accidentally argued w/ each other AT LEAST 5 times.

literally refuses to take off his ushanka in any weather. it doesn’t matter to him if it’s 90 degrees, that thing is staying ON.

kins Travis Bickle and Shinji Ikari. i mean, just look at this dude and how he presents himself. average NGE & Taxi Driver enjoyer/ hj.

fave video games are Postal 2 and osu!. he plays osu! phenomenally, to the point where it’s impressive. (pls put that energy into a job or something).

and yea that’s all the energy i have to write this down :]

[t-w-i-l-l-e-r]

Hey BMCers what do we think jeremy/michael/christine’s anime opinions r. It seems p reasonable 2 assume Jerry is a pretty big anime fan (I mean “sexy anime female” had 2 b based on smth) but what kind of anime u think he watches specifically? I’ve seen some fan stuff in which he likes mech stuff like gundam/evangelion which is v real v good v true, defo feel that esp with his interest in space and tech stuff. Super cutesy stuff a la My Melody also makes sense considering Hello Kitty shoes but I feel like that would only b an interest he rly explores after canon, when he’s mellowed out a bit n stopped caring about being a Dudely Dude. Jeremy Heere #1 Sanrio Danshi fan. I also been thinking bout Jeremy watching those shitty dime-a-dozen Cute Girls With Swords sci-fi/fantasy harem anime, ykwim? Asterisk War, Irregular At Magic High School, In Another World With My Smartphone,,,,, other one idk my anime knowledge is pretty dated at this point but u know what I mean!!! The real trash ones. THATS what bestie j-dawg is into. It’d b funny if part of his perception of what a “cool hot masculine guy” is like (plus some of his hang-ups with women) comes at least in part from those types of shows. My main hang-up with that tho is deciding if I think he would pretend to like them ironically or just assume watching anime makes him lame either way n deal w/ it. Hmmmm choices choices…

Michael n Christine r more interesting to me bc they’re not explicitly into anime like jerry is but they’re both enough of Weird Artsy Fartsy ppl that they could get into it. Michael’d b into the more retro stuff obvi, n prolly the more like ~experimental~ n ~avant-garde~ shit too. Defo Evangelion, Akira n Ghost In The Shell seem right to me… Serial Experiments Lain jumps out as one he’d b into, plus Kaiba but that’s more recent (aka after the turn of the century lol). The Freaky Deaky shit, that’s his M.O.

and finally… Christine. When I think of Christine, I think of Samurai Pizza Cats. And that’s it. I really cannot explain that, but it’s how I feel. Good talk!

[aita-blorbos]

aita for not caring if a friend died?

okay, this-- god, it sounds. bad. and it kind of is and i'm aware of this but this is currently my only outlet where i can actually admit it out-loud (long story)

so i (21m ??? i should be) used to work for this. paranormal investigators group. and i worked with this one specific dude (J, 21m) for a good majority of both his and my time in the group. and god he was annoying, but he was my friend. anyway

our most recent job was for this one lady about her """Cat""" and we were both like, this seems pretty lame, but then she offered five hundred a night for three nights (we were broke, so that's a pretty big deal) so we were like. sure yeah what the hell why not

and, i think J has a better weirdness radar than I do, because he was instantly freaked out by this house but I thought it was fine. and more weird stuff started happening to him (if any weird stuff happened to me i dont really remember it, sorry) and so he like, urged we leave because he was majorly freaked out, but like, at the time it was fine? and he just--

he brought up my mom. and thats a pretty cheap shot because i know what happened to her and it didn't end up happening to me, but--

he left, and it happened to him. i saw his body because he took the car. i had to walk miles in the snow and also was still a little bitter about the argument so i didnt really care that much. and only just recently put together what has been going on

i've been a bit of a dick lately but I, don't remember doing half of the stuff and viscerally recall not being in control of my actions the other half, and i've tried to apologize but it just hasn't worked and I

am i the asshole?

[bitemedotmp3]

🌀 for a random number!

11. — heartbeat

"Frickin'- Move, dude! You're taking up way too much space!"

"There's no need to shout, I can hear you fine. And I'm already back against the wall, so this is as much room as we have."

The only thing visible in the dark, cramped space is two pairs of eyes, one a honeyed amber, and the other a clashing gradient. The yellow eyes wear an expression of strained indifference, while the others are just glaring.

"I hope you understand this is your fault," says J. "If you weren't snooping around these unstable ruins, we wouldn't have gotten trapped beneath the rubble."

If Uzi's eyes could shoot lasers, J would be a puddle by now. "My fault- Bite me! It was only unstable because your fat ass was following me! The platform would've been fine if it was just me, I know what I'm doing!"

"My body is a perfectly reasonable weight. It isn't my fault that the construction of this place is so... shoddy."

Uzi rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure if JCJensen built the place, all the buildings would still be standing, and they'd be made of gold, too."

The corporate slander makes J seethe. "I don't see why you're being so hostile."

"You were stalking me! I didn't even know you were in this city and the first time I see you is right before you knock the floor out from my feet!"

"It wasn't on purpose!"

Uzi scoffs and lapses into silence. She comes out to Yesteryear to get away from people, so who would've thought she'd have someone tagging along without her knowledge, and it'd be J?

J is equally dis-inclined to talk, and Uzi can see the glow of her phone screen as she pulls it out. "Ugh, no signal here," she mutters.

"Gotta call your boss to come bail you out?"

"If the alternative is overheating to the point of catastrophic system failure while being stuck with you, then yes. I'll call the boss."

"Bit off more than you could chew. Classic J."

"Or maybe I'll kill myself sometime in the next hour. It'd be preferable to this."

"Yeah right. Disassembly Drone OS doesn't have a self-destruct function."

"...How would you know?"

Can't admit she was poking around in some of their heads, that's good leverage. "I'm dating one, idiot."

J squints, and then her eyes widen. "You're dating V?!"

"Wh- No! N! I'm dating N!"

"Oh! Oh. I haven't seen him in so long, I'd forgotten he exists. Though I suppose he could've been replaced with a large lamp and it would more or less be the same thing."

"Don't be a dick!" There's the sound of boots scraping against rubble, and J cries out.

"Stop kicking me! You're going to make this place even hotter, moron!"

"Bite me!"

"Don't tempt me! It'd help me live longer, and it'd be quiet!"

Uzi huffs and stops, because J does have a point. Both drones run hot, and if the alcove they're stuck in gets too warm, they'll probably shut down. And it would be super embarrassing if Uzi's first death in Spirale was getting stuck in an oven with her... enemy? Yeah, enemy. But now that she's stopped for a moment, she can give this some more thought. Cyn put J up to this, right? And the only reason J hasn't attacked is because of the "deal" her boss has made with Uzi, which is also the only reason Uzi didn't jump her on sight.

All this way from Earth, from Copper 9, all this way from their whole frickin' universe, and J is still some lame bootlicker.

...Actually, that's not the only reason Uzi doesn't have it out for her. There's also V to consider, because the last time Uzi zinged J (and she wasn't even here!), V got upset. Whatever's going on there is... complicated, and Uzi likes V enough that if she asked her not to blow J's head off with her railgun, she'd hold off. For now.

"Stop staring," says J.

Uzi blinks, a soft blip sounding through the alcove as her processors spin down from deep thought. "Wasn't staring. Was thinking about stuff."

J snorts. "And what do worker drones think about? Huddling in fear? Their impending deaths? Big doors, apparently?"

"You're so uncreative that I actually feel sorry for you."

"Wh- I don't need your pity!"

"Uh-huh."

The two drones lapse into silence again, and Uzi can see J pointedly not looking in her direction. Now that she thinks about it, a disassembly drone would actually be able to see her with their enhanced sensor suite. So can she see Uzi do this?

"Really? Middle finger? How childish."

"Huh. Guess you can see me."

"Of course I can. Not that there's much to see."

Uzi watches J roll her eyes and go back to staring at the wall. After another short silence, she speaks. "Y'know, I would've told you if you just asked."

J looks over, eyes narrowed. "Told me what?"

"What I was doing. You ever think to just ask?"

"No. You'd have no reason to tell me."

"No reason to hide it, either. I just come out here looking for stuff to salvage in the ruins. Also, it kind of reminds me of Copper 9, especially now that it's snowing. That's all."

"That's it? How... Disappointing."

"Yeah. You're about to die, stuck in a wall, for no reason other than someone told you to. Classic J. Hehe-ow!"

Those peg feet hurt. "What would you know? About me, about anything?" snarls J.

"I'm not telling you that! Especially since you kicked me! Bitch."

"Toaster."

"Ugh."

"Sigh."

"...Did you just say sigh?"

"Quiet."

And so more silence ensues. Bit by bit, Uzi can feel the temperature rising in their crevice, but it's not coming from her. "I can feel your core overheating from here," she says, frowning.

J sighs. "I haven't had much oil since I got here."

"You can just buy some from the store, dude. Synthetic, but-"

"I know, I know. I've just been busy. Not that you'd understand."

"Busy stalking me?"

"Sure. That's all I do, yeah. I just follow you around. You specifically, because you're the most important thing in the entire city."

"Aw. And she does it for free."

"Has anyone ever told you you're the most irritating person on the planet?"

"Yeah, like two-thirds of my classmates. And my teacher."

"Wonderful."

The heat is getting uncomfortable now. "Oh, you're even worse off than I thought," says Uzi. "I think I can hear your core trying to pump."

"Robo-God, I hope I die soon."

Uzi does too, but... Well, she's got her reasons. She reaches into her pocket and withdraws a small bottle, holding it out to J. "Here. I don't wanna be stuck in here with your corpse."

"Trying to poison me? That's new."

"No, stupid." Uzi unscrews the lid, and her chemo-sensors can easily pick up the crude scent in the small space. "It's oil. I don't go out without an emergency supply because I'm not an idiot."

One of J's eyes flashes to an X, and Uzi can hear her shift forward. "And you're... Giving it to me? What's the angle here? How does this benefit you?"

"I mean, you can have some. And you... You honestly wouldn't get it."

J's eyes dart from Uzi, to the bottle, and back, and she finally snatches it away. There's the sound of desperate gulping- gross - and then a satisfied sigh. The bottle is handed back to Uzi, noticeably empty. "I said some."

"I heard. But you know this doesn't change anything," says J.

"I know."

"You're just making a tactical decision, as am I. We're both stuck here, in this city, and in this hole."

Uzi can hear something rumbling outside, and she just thinks Finally. "Well, hopefully not much longer," she says.

"We're still going to die, of course, but- What's that noise?"

Both drones flinch from the sudden light that floods their prison as a large chunk of rubble is lifted away. As Uzi's optics adjust, she can see a familiar and weirdly-hot silhouette standing against the moon, and she sighs in relief.

"Uzi, you good?" says V. "Honestly, I just followed the path of destruction, and- You."

Her eyes settle squarely on J, who flinches for a moment before rising to her feet. "Yes, me," she says, brushing dust from her skirt. "But as I was telling this purple thing, it was entirely her own fault that we were trapped. Regardless, why are you here?"

"Texted her as soon as I saw you were following me," says Uzi. "So I knew she'd show up eventually."

"It's far without wings. But about her" -she tilts her head towards J- "do I need to do something about this?"

Uzi considers it for a moment. If there's consonant-on-consonant violence, would that violate her deal with Cyn? But more importantly, is it worth it? V might be ready to throw down, but Uzi can't help but think that if she'd lifted the rock and found J's body, it probably would've bummed the mood. After a moment, she shakes her head. "Nah, forget her. 'Cause look what I found!"

From the inside of her hoodie she pulls out a snap case and holds it out to V. "Check it out! Jurassic World!"

V grins, snatching the DVD. "Finally. Thought you'd never find it."

"Well, probably could've gone faster if someone helped."

"Hmm... Nah. C'mon, let's go. This place is depressing."

Uzi turns, but J speaks up. "You watch movies together?"

"Yeah. Let me guess, no movie nights with the boss? Bummer," says Uzi, grabbing the case back. "Maybe if you ask nice, she'll let you watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something."

Snickering, Uzi turns to follow V, who's making an effort to not look at her former coworker. But after a moment, and a quick thought, Uzi looks back at the third drone.

"Hey, J," she calls. "Here."

J turns to face her, and her expression instantly falls. "Middle finger again? Really?"

Yeah. Really.

[catsaremyfavoritereptile]

Hello! My name is The Chosen One.

I was given this name because:

A. A prophecy said so.

B. I'm the youngest to ever [insert here]

C. I'm actually the reincarnation of a hero who lived [insert here] years ago.

D. My dad was the chosen one and became evil.

E. An old man was about to die and said, "You're a kid, here's a ring."

F. I actually am the hero who lived [insert here] years ago and I will be part of a time travel quest to go back to that time to beat up someone and find out that I'm the one who beat them up to set them out on their dark quest to begin with.

G. Someone tried to kill me when I was a baby, and they happened to be evil, and I happen to be in a prophecy that could be about anyone, and it's only me because they tried to kill me.

H. My parents are dead.

I. I have two best friends, a boy and a girl.

J. I have 3 best friends, someone who's close to me, and a comedy duo.

K. A member of my friend group joined the dark side, and only I can bring them back.

L. A relative passed an object down to me and it happened to have the soul of an ancient dark lord inside of it.

M. I'm a prince, have glasses, and prefer books over fighting.

N. I'm a princess, and all the princes in the area are lame.

O. I'm a prince, and I found a sword.

P. I found a sword.

Q. Turns out my mentor is a wizard.

R. Turns out I come from a long line of wizards, and my adoptive family don't like that.

S. My mom was magic, but my dad wasn't.

T. I'm a twin.

U. I'm a troublemaker, my sister is not, and stuff keeps happening to us.

V. A family member happens to own a preservation for magical creatures.

W. I'm smart, a criminal, and apparently magic exists. I'm also really young, and an anti-hero.

X. Someone kidnapped my lover.

Y. A princess was kidnapped, and no other knights volunteered.

Z. A princess was kidnapped, and I happen to be here and available.