#my setup that week was so pretty and i only used it for like half the week

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battywitch · 1 month ago

Text

Anyway.

Does anyone want to choose a theme (or, like, 2-4 colors) for this week in my happy planner, because i was too in a flare and busy over the weekend and yesterday to set it up 🙃

#I'm mad about last week because it turned out so cute and i barely used my planner at all #the same thing happened the week of the flood when we had to evacuate for a couple days #my setup that week was so pretty and i only used it for like half the week #happy planner

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pucksandpower · 1 year ago

Text

Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

2K notes · View notes

melondecarabia · 1 month ago

Text

⋆˙⟡ frostheim nsfw headcanons

mdni!

fem reader

authors note: i must admit i like kaito. i love pathetic men!!!! also i was drained of my creative juices after leo trilogy pt 2 so i disappeared for a bit sorry lmao

tw: sex!

smut under the cut!

jin

going against the grain here, but for a good reason: JIN IS A VIRGIN!!! he's a hermit, and has severe trust issues! you will be the first one to even see him naked!

oh he's a power bottom. he gets the hang of things pretty quickly, and starts to command you to give him pleasure. don't worry, it'll feel good for you too.

i KNOW he gets bored in that room. wait a minute is he a gooner?? pretty much all he does is sleep, smoke, and jack off. now that you're in the picture though, he can just send a text or 'special photo' for you to come over.

depression lowered his sex drive, but when it starts to get better he's hornier than ever, and WILL make it your problem. however, due to his smoking habits and inexperience in sex, he has only a bit of stamina.

going with my own delusions: his dick is below average length and size. smallest of the ghouls! also, he doesn't trim much, but there's no need for that anyway, as the hair is short and soft by default. jin with a happy trail… it looks like snow. he's so pale, but the tip of his dick is bright pink.

if you have a rough day he'll let you tie a bow on it <3 and then tells you to ride it until you're both satisfied.

doesn't tell you, but he has a praise kink. doesn't even hint at it, but the first time you give him a handjob and call him pretty, he immediately nuts. he wants you to do it from your own volition.

doesn't own that many sex toys, but his favorite one is a vibrating cock ring. it has a part that goes on your clit too, and jin's idea of a lovely afternoon is the two of you naked, while you cockwarm him in bed. he relaxes in the intimacy of being entangled and a low buzzing to melt all worries away.

gets insecure a lot. so, here's an idea: sitting side by side on his bed, with a full length mirror in front. he's fully naked, and you're half clothed while giving him a handjob. just as he's about to cum for the first time, you stop, and tell him to name something good about himself. he's frustrated, but knows you won't continue if he doesn't do it. so, he calls himself smart. you tell him that he's very intelligent, and he cums after 3 strokes. repeating the process until he's fucked stupid… he could've told you to stop, but the feeling of pleasure and validation was too good to give up.

buys you lingerie and asks for a fashion show. he really likes lacy balconette bras and garter belts. also maid outfits. gives you hickies on your breasts and thighs.

jin is pretty quiet, but grunts and groans when he's close. he bites his lip to stay quiet, and though he's so pale, while turned on there's a shade of pink dusting his lips, cheeks, nipples and dick. like an angel <3

aftercare? taking a nice bath while cuddling, and then going to sleep. keeps something to eat and drink around his room. while you recharge, he's laying his head on your titty.

tohma

he's quite experienced. before transfering to frostheim, he'd hook up every weekend, sometimes even four times a week. after the transfer? his horniness has built up, day by day. you're about to see what that means as his partner :)

menace!! a dominant top i think. he acts so dignified in public, and you may think he's into bdsm or something. but that vagastrom dog has stayed in him! after babysitting jin and dealing with whatever upper crust bullshit the general students of frostheim came up with, he's out of patience for elaborate setups. if he wants to restrain you, he'll use his hands. maybe a tie, if he's feeling fancy.

secret exhibitionist. might test cameras that only he has access to by asking you to hold his monocle, lifting up your skirt and eating you out sloppily in a supposed blind spot. and if you're already here, might as well test all of them, right? :)

not jealous, but possessive. leaves hickies on your inner thighs, and one on the back of your neck, in a spot barely covered by the uniform collar. also encourages you to mark him up, as his body is covered up at all times. scratch his back! leave hickies all over his chest and hips! might lift your skirt under the table to trace his hand on the bruises he left, while wearing a satisfied look.

favorite positions include doggy style, mating press and just. lifting you up while standing, and using his strength to bounce you up and down on his dick. positions that let him manhandle you, basically.

his dick is huge, and that's why he's so smug. keeps the hair trimmed, just normal stuff. but the dick is just. a murder weapon. only one that could compete is zenji and he's dead. there's a thick vein on the underside, that feels just right.

i remember a line of text from the game itself calling his fingers long and you know where my mind immediately went. to prepare you for his backbreaking railing, he takes his time to finger you. and yes, you get prepared! but tohma decided he really likes seeing you lose it with just his fingers. and he keeps going, not even unzipping his pants. has the audacity to act surprised when you're overstimulated when he decides to give you a break.

into dacryphilia. not when you're sad or angry, but overwhelmed with pleasure. licks the tears from your face while he keeps ramming into you.

appreciates a good pair of leggings on you… might smack your ass if there's no one around, and squeezes one cheek like a stress ball.

cuddles after sex, before carrying you to shower. might result in more freak nasty, if you're still capable of walking though.

luca

maybe has had sex a few times before? maybe. takes good care to listen to what you like in order to learn more! he's pretty vanilla himself, but open to anything you suggest.

switch vers luca! he adapts easily, and wants to take care of you. if you ride him, he'll help you move by keeping his hands on your hips, and thrusting upwards if needed.

luca has a strict training regimen. he never does too little or too much. but sometimes, he has so much energy that a regular workout just isn't enough, and he gets restless. so, he shyly asks you to… 'workout' with him, as it'll help him sleep better.

gets incredibly embarrassed if you give him a blowjob. might pass out if you show his cum on your tongue, and then swallow. he's a proper boy, and isn't prepared for such things…

he eats very healthily, so his cum tastes good! gets flustered if you tell him that.

if luca is somehow a bit too tired for sex, he'll gladly get you to ride his thigh. his legs are firm and muscular, ideal for the job. seeing you soak his pants might energize him though, and he'll go for a round or two.

he has a pretty dick. smooth, a bit longer than average, with neatly trimmed hair, and just overall aesthetically pleasing. leaks precum like a broken faucet tho.

gets turned on very easily. you don't even have to do anything suggestive, the man is just full of love, and just seeing you smile has him bricked!

likes positions that demand strength from himself. it assures him he's strong, so he can protect you. when either one of you is needy, he finds a private place and lifts you up against a wall, and just goes at it while burying his face in your boobs.

a soft moaner, and constant talker. keeps telling you how good it feels to have your walls clamp down on him. also keeps constantly telling you how much he loves you.

i don't think he realizes it, but something about cumming inside you scratches a certain itch. he's dating for marriage, and a family. gets horny thinking about your future wedding, and the night that follows…

aftercare? he's drawing a bath, and massaging any sore spots you have. also, hydration drinks in your favorite flavor!

kaito

HES BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS!!!! he's a virgin, and after having his first time with you, he is thanking whatever deity is out there that made this possible.

submissive vers. whatever you want he wants! would like to be 'strong and manly', but pampering him will have that man in a daze, drooling for more.

absolutely gets bricked even looking at you. he's in love!!! he finally has a girlfriend!!!

as much as kaito fantasized about getting a blowjob, he finds it more pleasurable to give you oral. sure, he'll accept if you offer, but he's very eager to get between your legs. wants you to sit on his face and crush him! he would wear a neck brace with pride.

horny at all times! perhaps not actively, but always ready to go at the slightest indication. gets so excited if you pull him to an empty room, and tell him to lay down so you can ride his face. nuts immediately if you call him your good boy.

absolutely motivated by jealousy. he's extrememly insecure, and scared that you'll find someone 'better'.

oh… to have soft sex, while telling him you'll never leave… kaito laying his head on your chest to listen to your heartbeat. chipping away at his insecurities, bit by bit. it's a slow process, but worth it to see him build confidence, and stand proudly at your side.

bites his lip to keep in his sounds. he wants to hear your wails of pleasure!! if you do manage to catch him off guard (not that difficult), he'll let out a pornographic moan.

after a round, he seems drained of all energy. but, after only a few minutes he's ready to go again!! keeps going for hours, until you're satisfied.

his dick is just. average. not longer, not shorter, just average. kind of insecure about that too. he keeps himself hairless at all times. kaito was used to seeing hairless women in porn as well, but even one glance at a natural bush on you? he's ready to traverse the great wilderness, or whatever cringy line he comes up with at the moment.

he has scented candles ready for whenever you come over. he's dedicated to make any and all sexual encounters romantic.

loves boobs. and legs. and ass. every body part on you, actually, and if asked about his favorite, he could not choose and would cry.

aftercare? freshening up, eating snacks, and watching a cute romcom while spooning. kaito feels at peace, and falls asleep pretty soon.

#tkdb #tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker x reader #jin kamurai #tohma ishibashi #lucas errant #kaito fuji #jin kamurai x reader #tohma ishibashi x reader #lucas errant x reader #kaito fuji x reader

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iphyslitterator · 1 month ago

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I'm in a 911 group chat that includes a Buddie fan, and she was passionately defending Tommy's right to bring up his anxieties over Eddie in 8x11 (yay), and then she asked me to elaborate when I commented, "If we're not Buddie-shipping + *don't* think this was a central insecurity, Tommy is actually way more in the wrong/dumber/more excruciatingly self-sabotaging." Two weeks later, I have typed up my working theory for her and am cross-posting it here for posterity:

Let's start from the premise that "I think Evan's in love with Eddie" was not a central reason behind the breakup, which is defensible because a) the text gave no indication of it previously, at least not one that would be legible to the general audience, and b) the only piece of "evidence" Tommy offers is that Buck is living in Eddie's house.

(I'm sure the thought had crossed Tommy's mind: they're close, Eddie's hot, he went to Buck's apartment in the first place on the assumption that Buck was jealous over Eddie. I actually used to headcanon that they'd talked about it casually, but I was overestimating their communication skills 🙄)

Here are some things we learn or can plausibly infer from the 8x11 bar scene (I can elaborate upon request): he misses Buck and wants to get back together with him (urge to call him; driving by his place); he's lonely; the 118 stopped speaking to him; he has no reason to believe Buck missed him too (Buck didn't tell him! he doesn't know about the baking!).

And he has all this time to think in the morning, while he's buying champagne and cooking half a paycheck's worth of eggs, about how wow, it's weird being in Eddie's house. Like, this was a pretty intense and devoted thing for Evan to do. But, well, Evan's pretty intensely devoted to his family, and vice versa. It's a great family. He's kind of jealous. And, okay, he didn't reach out to them after the breakup either, but he'd maybe hoped.... Anyway, whatever, it's clearly not happening. They don't miss him, they do miss Eddie. Evan misses Eddie, Evan probably just missed sex with Tommy. Still, though, maybe Tommy can ask Evan to take him back. Maybe they can still try again.

(Throw in the headcanon that it was unhinged of Buck to ask Tommy to move out of a house into an apartment with no doors (we know Tommy has a car lift and a Muay Thai setup), and you also get "Evan wouldn't move out for me, but he did for Eddie.")

So my primary contention about "now that the competition's out of the way" is that Tommy feels acutely that the competition is NOT out of the way.

Part of that is an abrupt rise in paranoia that Evan is pining for Eddie -- he's living in the guy's house! And then Buck doesn't technically deny it, he just says Eddie's straight, which, come on, Tommy knows all about crushes on straight guys.

But it's not just about that. It's about Tommy once again being on the outside of the firefam's close bond. It's not just Eddie haunting the narrative. Tommy has expressed his longing to be part of that family onscreen three times: 7x04 ("I was super jealous....I wanted to be a part of that"), 7x10 ("a little jealous" of Buck's bond with Bobby), 8x05 ("It's a wonderful thing, having a crew like that behind you, even when things go wrong"). The competition's not even close (he thinks); Tommy was never Evan's priority, he won't be if they get back together right now, and maybe he never will be.

But this all comes out as "I think you have feelings for your best friend." Which, in this scenario where that's (mostly) not true or important, is uncool for at least three reasons:

a) IT'S SO DUMB, baby, shut uppppp, why are you so committed to expressing your anxieties in a way that is totally incomprehensible to your beloved and indeed to most people who aren't studying you like a bug on tumblr dot com 💀

b) He is once again hinting at his desire for a family without articulating it, and he NEEDS to stop that.

c) As in the breakup, he's constructing a narrative about Buck's feelings, without Buck's input, that fits his own pessimistic worldview. In neither case does it go quite as far as Buck denying + Tommy disbelieving, but it's trending that direction, and it's patronizing (and arguably biphobic). If Buck needs to understand Tommy more, i.e. look past the cool exterior, Tommy needs to "understand" Buck less, i.e. let go of his preconceived notions and let Evan be the authority on his own feelings.

So my thesis as a Bucktommy fan and writer is that it's part of Tommy's consistent I-want-a-family theme (and secondarily, I think the non-Buddie GA's takeaway was essentially supposed be Ryan Guzman's "lol Tommy's insecure"). Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#the context is important because i would have written it differently for a bucktommy audience #most of this has been said but eh might as well archive my take #911 #bucktommy

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physalian · 19 days ago

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Whatever project you're too afraid to start, just go for it

I know a lot of my posts lately have been video/content creation-related but I just want to say:

The learning curve that I have had to climb in the past week alone has been both frustrating as hell and ridiculously rewarding.

Already, I had to refresh my memory on basic video editing and sound comping, but for the first seven episodes of my little series I’d accepted the average quality of my voice recording as cest la vie, I’m not sinking money into this without proof of concept, you’re supposed to be a little rough around the edges when you’re first starting out. But one thing I couldn’t get over was the clipping from some technobabble shenanigans with frequencies that isn’t important here.

What I thought was a quick fix—replace and double the RAM in my laptop—was absolutely not the source of the problem and suddenly I was in the deep end trying to fix broken audio in post while also troubleshooting an issue no one else seemed to have between my microphone and my recording software and I was about tempted to just use my desktop mic, the built-in, because at least I could somewhat fix that in post.

After far too many hours deep in discussions with strangers on the internet who were very helpful, I half-fixed the problem. My mic stopped clipping, but it was distorting pretty heavily between two different processers and my recording software hated it for a whole different reason.

Reluctant Plan B was to record gameplay live, but record audio separately/after and then sync them in post. If you’ve ever made a gaming video like these, you’re staring at probably 15+ clips of useable content over the course of recording sessions, which means 30+ clips with all the separately recorded audio, and since I can’t hit start/stop congruently with both programs, they would always be a little bit off, which meant more tedious editing.

Why? Because I was recording in Program A, fixing audio in Program B, and editing the video together in Program C, and Program C is for like, tiktoks, not professional youtube videos. I was only using it because I was already paying for it in an Adobe package with InDesign.

Enter DaVinci Resolve.

It’s like, Photoshop compared to MS Paint, a free one-stop-shop for video and audio editing (and visual effects, this thing is used to make blockbusters) and here’s me still confused by all these audio terms like ratio, attack, threshold, etc.

So I’m still wading through tutorials, all while my mic only works through Program B, Audacity, with an episode deadline looming over me. From the time I committed to initially fixing my audio by replacing the RAM, to episode release date, I had 6 days. Today is day 4.

And I’m still without a proper recording setup because Program A hates my microphone. But I am not missing this deadline, not just for the youtube algorithm, but because I know I can make it.

So episode 8, at the time of writing this, I have only 9 minutes and 25 seconds all edited and ready to go, out of 22-24 that I usually publish. So what have I done?

Fuckin’ taught myself DaVinci Resolve and committed to recording my vocal track in post just this once, doing it over and over again until it sounds as genuinely live as it can, and doing regular voiceover and music montages wherever else I can to fill the time with meaningful content.

All to buy myself time for my replacement mic to deliver so I can get back to proper live recordings, because at this point, the time it takes to fix terrible audio in post isn’t worth it, when I can spend a little bit of money for a mic that isn’t 8 years old and is built for gaming, not podcasting (but I am keeping the problem child as a backup, because it’s not broken).

I’m waiting for a timelapse to render while I write this, staring at a workflow with one video source and 3 different audio layers—game sound, vocals, and music—and I can almost turn my brain off when trimming things because that part I already know how to do.

This thing is a mess, to be clear, but it sure as hell won’t look like a mess when I hit publish on time two days from now.

But like…. 3 weeks ago I knew next to none of this, beyond basic video editing I learned back in college. And here I am with my double-wide monitor up and professional video making software quietly churning along in the background.

So just—if you want to do it? Go fuckin’ do it. Whatever it is that you’ve been holding off on pursuing. When I started I already owned things like a gaming laptop (that I bought to run photoshop so I could paint), an 8-year-old podcasting mic from a dropped podcast attempt, my game of choice, and I was already paying for the bare bones version of Premiere: Premiere Rush.

But heck, even if I had none of the fancy equipment, the only limiting factor would have been my computer’s processing power to run all these programs at once, and I would have figured it out.

I’m a perfectionist bound and determined to fix my audio, but I didn’t hear any complaints when it was jank, and I’m learning all this because the whole process, not just the gameplay, is just so fun and fascinating.

#just do it #do it scared #video making #video editing #davinci resolve #it's a beautiful mess #and I'm so proud of it

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copperbadge · 2 years ago

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Every time, you guys. Every time I look into alternatives to Lulu.com for self-publishing I come up with “Wow Lulu really is the best of a bad set of options, huh?”

Recently, Draft2Digital bought Smashwords in order to bring a print book company under their aegis; they’d formerly only done ebooks. I thought I might investigate them as an alternative to Lulu, which I’ve used for about twelve years now. For ebooks I would venture D2D is probably top of the line. For print books they are....not.

I’m writing this out half so other folks can see it but half so that in the future I can look this up and remind myself of why I’m still with Lulu.

TLDR: Not only does Draft2Digital want 60% of my print book royalties where Lulu takes 0%, and $30 for a proof that costs me $11 at Lulu, but I also appear to have solved the problem of why Lulu was making me price my books so goddamn artificially high. Which is like. Honestly the best anti-anxiety drug I’ve experienced this week.

Basically there are a number of elements that go into self-publishing with a print-on-demand service. For some publishers, there’s a “setup fee” which doesn’t really set anything up, it’s just there to be a fee, everything is done by computer on the back end. Traditionally, Lulu has not charged a setup fee. Smashwords used to charge $50, but Draft2Digital currently waives it. I was heartened by that because the setup fee was keeping me from migrating, since I can afford $50 but I balk at knowing I’m paying them $50 for nothing.

Next is the cost of printing -- what it costs the company in paper, ink, machinery, labor, etc, to just make a book with no profit. Lulu’s price calculus isn’t super clear and I’ve never bothered looking at what the breakdown is, because they’re pretty up-front -- they tell you in the process of setting the book up how much it’ll cost. In this case, a 140-page 6x9 trade paperback, no frills, which is how all my books are printed, is $5. Draft2Digital doesn’t tell you the flat price anywhere but they do offer the breakdown information; it costs $1.22 flat plus $0.0133 per page. So, for a 140 page book, the at-cost is $3.08. So far so good.

Now, if you’re going to sell through Lulu, the “at cost” is the minimum price. You won’t make any money but you CAN charge just $5 for a $5 book. Any pricing above that is your cut. So -- let’s price this 140 page trade paperback at $13-$15. That’s a bit high to be honest but let’s just see. At Lulu, your take is roughly $6-$8 based on those prices, because you’re just dropping out the cost of printing from the retail price.

At Draft2Digital, the same 140-page trade paperback, which remember is quoted as costing roughly $1.20 less to print than Lulu charges, gets you $2.75-$3.50 in royalties per book.

....wait, what?

So now we need to sidetrack a little but I promise it’s for a reason. One of the motivations for looking into a change to Draft2Digital is that I didn’t like that Lulu was setting higher “minimum prices” than I was accustomed to -- they would tell me the book only cost $5 to print but require me to sell it for $12 or similar, and I couldn’t work out why. I’m an idiot but the penny did finally drop: it’s because when you distribute them outside of Lulu (say, on Amazon or Barnes & Noble or similar) your royalties drop like a stone. $7 in royalties purchased through Lulu comes out to like twenty-five cents purchased through Amazon. So Lulu forces you to price the book at a point where you even GET royalties and don’t end up weirdly owing Amazon money. The “global distribution” is what’s driving that minimum up.

So in price-quoting a competitor I actually solved the problem with Lulu.

Which is good, because the fun doesn’t stop there. If you want a proof copy of a book from Lulu, it’s the at-cost of the book, plus tax, plus postage. Buying a proof copy of this book from Lulu would cost me $11. Lulu makes you order a new proof copy every time you make a change, which is shady, but usually I only need to make 1-2 changes across the life of a book, so at most the cost will probably be $35 and for that I’ll get three copies of the book. Draft2Digital doesn’t give you an option. If you want a proof pre-publication, it’s $30 flat. If you want to publish and then buy a copy you can, but you can only make one change to the book every 90 days once it’s published. If you want to make more than one change, it’s $25 every time you upload a new version of the manuscript within that 90 day period.

So Draft2Digital’s books cost less to print but they take a massive cut of your royalties out of the retail cost of the book. If the book costs $3 to print, and I price it at $15, that’s $12 in profit on the book. Of that $12, however, I only receive $4. Draft2Digital literally wants 2/3 of my royalties per book. They want $20 more than Lulu to send me a proof copy. If I need to correct the proof, the correction is free, but I’m assuming the second proof will also cost me $30. Any changes after that, within 90 days, will cost $25 plus $30 for a new proof.

Which means my upfront costs at Lulu are about $35 per published book; to do the same thing at Draft2Digital is between $60 and $105 depending on whether I need to make changes after the second proof copy. And even after that, my royalties at Lulu are just about twice what they would be at Draft2Digital per purchase.

So, well, Lulu it is. And the problem I was having with Lulu is solved if I decide to just retail through Lulu rather than selling globally. Which...selling globally has done two things that I’m aware of:

1. Fucked up my author page so badly on Amazon that one of my books is still attributed to Kathleen Starbuck, and one of her books is for sale on my author page.

2. Raised the minimum price I’m allowed to set my books at by like, 40%.

So I think probably what’s going to happen is going forward my books will be for sale only on Lulu. I can still assign them ISBNs and they still will ship worldwide, and the prices will fall significantly. My deepest apologies to those of you who have paid an artificially inflated price for the last few books; I’m going to fix that going forward, I’m going to go in and try to fix it retroactively in the books that are already on Lulu, and if it’s any consolation at least the cash came to me, and TWO THIRDS OF IT didn’t go to Lulu.

It’s gonna take me a little time, untangling Lulu’s relationship to other retailers is tricky, but eventually the Shivadh Omnibus and Twelve Points should come down significantly in price, and there ought to be a dollar or two drop for the older books as well.

This is why it always pays to do the math, even if like me you are dreadful at it.

#selfpub #self publishing #publishing #draft2digital #lulu #archive

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aihoshiino · 10 months ago

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chapter 155 thoughts

Thanks for your patience! I had some stuff crop up IRL this week that kept getting in the way of my chapter review but we're so oshi no back

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 12

Aqua Hoshigan Status: White

i can't believe toxic yuri was the real core theme of this manga all along

With the long road to revenge seemingly conquered, Oshi no Ko eases us into a bit of a false high before the real finale comes barrelling in. As with 152, it feels like we're tying off a number of arcs that have lasted through the series, with certain characters getting what is clearly supposed to be their big emotional resolutions… and unfortunately, as with 153-4, while a lot of these beats are satisfying on paper, they suffer a lack of buildup that makes them ring a bit hollow. OnK's clumsy handling of certain characters during the Movie Arc has really come back to bite it during the finale, leaving me feeling like a lot of the emotional payoffs for them are undercut and the character work they're doing doesn't have the groundwork it needs to properly resonate. I defo didn't hate this chapter like some folks seemed to, but it has some pretty substantial issues in terms of micro and macro storytelling I am compelled to talk about. This is one of those chapter reviews I think comes across way more negative than it necessarily is lol but man did this one give me a headache…

To start things off, the thing that initially delayed this review: page fucking one!!! By total coincidence, this was the first chapter in basically forever where I didn't get a chance to look at the JP raws until like two days after it dropped and as such I was ripping my hair out trying to figure out who the narrator was on page one - the use of 'Mama' made me wonder if it was Ruby, but the visual flow of the page is much more biased in favor of Aqua and I probably don't need to tell you how fucking huge it would be for Aqua to have called Ai that for the first time!!! However, based on the speech patterns of the speaker in Japanese and the way subsequent pages flow from this intro, I'm pretty settled on it being Ruby - this chapter is a sort of closing of the book on her involvement in the revenge play or as my friend Mala put it, it's Ruby's homecoming so to speak. And like… honestly, thank god lol.

I get a lot of Ruby fans have wanted her to be more involved in this side of the story for a good while but I think the Black Hoshigan Ruby arc playing out like it did made it pretty clear that Ruby as a character is not super well suited to playing a role in the revenge half of OnK in the way that Akasaka wants it to be written. Not just that, but her actual post-BH characterization in relation to this arc has been such a wet fart that I really think it has taken away a lot more than it has added to her arc.

Not only that but… most of it didn't even happen onscreen lol! Not only did we get that absolutely baffling speech in 147 where she literally looked into the camera and Explained With Her Words the character arc she was supposedly having this whole time (just offscreen and nowhere the reader could see) but we now get Aqua going "well ruby decided to forgive him so it is what it is i guess". It feels so limp as a reason for him to have flipped on a dime like he did, especially when we still haven't fucking seen this supposedly lifechanging performance of Ruby's!!!! SO many characters have the resolutions to their Ai-adjacent arcs connected to how Ruby chose to play Ai in the movie but we're not actually seeing it. We're just sort of talking around it and having it exposited to us. I want to assume this is setup for us eventually seeing it ourselves but like… at this point, IS there any point to us revisiting the movie's content? Everything we might have learned from it has already been addressed by characters Telling Us To Our Faces How It Made Them Feel And Gave Them Therapy so it would ultimately be superfluous.

God. I hate still bitching about the Movie Arc now we're out of it, but it really is the albatross around the neck of this finale. So many of the issues littered through these last ten or so chapters are the result of the Movie Arc's fumbling and misuse of the cast and its failure to establish the emotional throughlines that should have been tied off by these chapters. I keep feeling like I'm repeating myself when I talk about XYZ Narrative Beat not being bad on paper but being less effective than it should do because of lacking underlying foundation but it really is the one central thing plaguing this arc right now.

i get what you guys are going for but. seeing aqua just let kamiki walk away when he has definitely killed people is really funny.

The twins' return to Miyako is another moment that I like in theory but honestly just feels frustrating. It's been over 25 chapters - a week short of an entire year since 125 came out where Miyako lamented her inability to reach the twins like a 'real' mother would and this thread was immediately dropped like a rock. She had zero involvement in the Movie Arc even during parts it was straight up absurd that she was not at least reacting to the events going on, didn't have any reaction to the movie or like… anything going on that could have more organically lead to this development.

I also have to say. The twins returning to Miyako performing this Snapshot of Aesthetic Motherhood (as u/DeliSoupItExplodes on the OnK sub put it) felt kind of. Weird and even a little icky to me in a way I've been struggling to articulate. Just that it felt extremely on the nose and kind of. eeeh.

that said. i won't pretend i'm not 4x critically weak to an 'okaeri' / 'tadaima' exchange at the end of a long quest or journey…

For all my complaints about the surrounding context, this scene in isolation is pretty much the one part of this chapter that just uncritically works. It's hard not to read it as a parallel to Miyako offering to adopt the kids in chapter 10 - except there, Aqua refuses to step into his new family. Here, Miyako pulls him into the embrace and the two of them finally engage not as peers but as a mother and son, as they've needed to do all this time. Her words here are so lovely and so, so sincere that it's really no wonder Aqua breaks down in tears. As much as I've bitched about the lacking work in his arc across the last major chunk of chapters, it's nevertheless been incredibly cathartic to see Aqua finally start letting down his walls, believing in his future and letting people love him. I just wish it had the buildup to really land.

also the twins just… still have not had a real conversation or interaction about literally anything lol.

Ichigo's back…! I already aired my major complaint about this scene vis-a-vis Ruby but I imagine this is the last time we're going to get a real Moment with Ichigo so I might as well get this off my chest now: it was and continues to be utterly bonkers to me that of the characters we saw having Feelings about the 15 Year Lie cast screening, Ichigo was not one of them. And it's even more bonkers that we got this whole bit waxing poetic about fucking Kaburagi and how he feels soooo bad about Ai when like… I'm sorry, but Kaburagi's feelings about Ai are so low on my list of priorities as to be functionally irrelevant. Quite frankly, he does not matter and it's INSANE that the story gave this misty-eyed moment to him and not Ichigo - you know, the agent of the industry that went on to exploit and kill her, her literal, actual dad whose guilt over what happened to her made him ghost his family for nearly twenty years? Can you imagine what an insanely powerful moment of resolution it would've been for that moment of Kaburagi addressing Ai through the 15YL poster to have gone to Ichigo instead?

I also have to note this weird ongoing thread of 'the Dome' being framed as Ai's dream that Ruby is inheriting when it, uh, patently was not! I'm sure she felt some pride in her success but all she herself said on the matter back when it came up was that she didn't get what a big deal it was but that since everyone else was happy, she'd be happy too. I initially took this to be laying the groundwork to disprove this idea and make the characters work out what Ai really wanted in her heart of hearts but now the narrative seems to just be uncritically treating this as a value neutral fact. So… who even knows lol.

Short hair Akane returns…! I don't imagine it was planned, but it's a cute coincidence that she cut her hair in the manga right around the time anime Akane grew hers out for season 2. I've always liked short hair Akane best so this was a nice surprise…

I have to say it was uh, really funny to see so many people get so shocked and mad when Akane talked about 'imitating Hoshino Ai' and screaming that this was a retcon or ruining Akane's character when like… was this really news to you guys??? Even before she grew her hair out, she flipped her bangs to go in the same direction as Ai's as soon as she started acting as her and she was popping hoshigans all over the place when she was getting her career off the ground… like, seriously, was this really a shock to people???

Anyway uh. Vindication for me from this scene!!! I've been pointing out for over a year now that we should be very cautious about taking it at face value that Hikaru killed Gorou and Yura because the story has been very delicately implying that to be the case while avoiding confirming it outright in a way that reeked of a red herring to me. That combined with his failure to even mention these two victims while 'fessing up to Aqua really raised some additional red flags for me and finally, we see Aqua confirming that no, Hikaru was not the one person behind everything, Light Yagami style and the final boss of the series seems set to be B-Komachi's former Queen of Smiles. Fuyuko Niino.

And Iiiiiiiii… feel very uneasy about this twist!

First of all; I have to acknowledge that nope, we have no fuckin clue how either Aqua or Akane figured this out but we'll probably get the exposition in that regard over and done with next chapter. Also something a lot of people caught is that Ryosuke is referred to with a different name here - Sugano vs Kaihara, which was used during the Movie Arc. I've heard this called out as a mistake/retcon and it could be, but tbh I'm inclined to think it's just that Ryosuke's name was changed for the movie, since a point is made about needing everyone's permission to include them in the movie and they, uh… can't exactly ask Ryosuke!

But… back to the real point here.

Nino has been one of my favourite OnK characters since I first read 45510 and every subsequent expansion on her character and her relationship with Ai has only made me more invested in her. But the story setting her up as the final villain here is… it leaves me feeling a little cold and very uncertain about how it'll go.

First off, the framing of Nino on these last two pages is just so overwrought that it's a little ridiculous lol. The image of her squatting in her filthy room, listening to old B-Komachi tracks and staring at a poster of the old group with all the other members but her and Ai aggressively scribbled out… it feels downright parodic to an extent that I think honestly makes Nino that much less nuanced and human by its inclusion alone.

Like… a big part of what I loved about Nino's inclusion in the story and how her relationship with Ai was framed was that it was messy and honest in a way that felt like it wasn't judging Nino herself or making her out to be a villain. Her and Ai's relationship breakdown was a two-sided failure of communication spurred on in large part by Ai's own avoidance and inability to have frank, sincere discussions with the people who cared about her. Nino's tangled up feelings of admiration and desire, envy and resentment, love and hate were not flattering but they felt so real and so human. She was a young girl put into an impossible situation and without the power to change the invisible dynamics of the systems around her, she lashed out at the person in front of her that she could see. The impression I always got was that part of what so deeply fucked up her feelings about Ai was her lack of closure - that she had never gotten to say sorry or patch things up. That she had screamed I wish you'd die at someone she loved and then she fucking died. No wonder she was a mess.

All this though… maybe I'm overreacting when we're just a page and a half into this reveal but again, the framing here really does feel so exaggerated and shallow. It feels like it's falling into the trap OnK previously fell into with the GRSR relationship where it attempts to amp up the drama by massively overexagerrating the emotions at play, blowing them up to their hugest possible extreme and letting all nuance and subtlety get lost in the noise. Ultimately, this will all come down to execution and while it's possible for AkaMengo to get us back on track with the Nino I already liked… idk. Like I said. I'm uneasy.

I also can't let it go unsaid - accidentally or otherwise, the framing of Nino here leans extremely hard into the stereotype of the 'psycho'/predatory lesbian and I don't think I need to explain why that sucks donkey nuts, especially in the midst of a manga that is so insufferably hetero at all other times.

at least she has good taste in b-komachi tracks.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #chapter reviews #onk spoilers

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moyokeansimblr · 1 year ago

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I'm finally getting a chance to start setting up Veronaville, I've only been talking about it for what like a week and a half? I've been using rural charm as my lush default for ages but I found this veronaville replacement so that's kinda fun and lordcrumps' tree defaults are giving me life it's so pretty! I'm so used to seeing a desert with Strangetown/LFT.

I've not done anything but add the clean template, replace the map, and add a skyline/sky. I downloaded all of Katatty's lots a few days ago so that's my plan for tomorrow is to replace all the lots. Then add Académie Le Tour, makeovers, all my other regular setup, etc. And then I do still plan on making a second blog before I start playing so that my Veronaville screenies aren't all mixed up with my Strangetown screenies (not to mention my queue of Strangetown screenies seems to be permanently about a month out because I take so many... we'd never get to the Veronaville ones 😆)

If anyone plays Veronaville and plays with traits, what traits should the premades have? I still know virtually nothing about these sims. Although I learned yesterday that Patrizio's bio mentions llamas so I'm finally gonna get to use the 4t2 llamas and goats and stuff and I'm so excited!

#moyokean #sims 2 #ts2 #the sims 2 #thesims2 #sims 2 veronaville

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bvtbxtch · 2 years ago

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Let Me Love You | Eddie Munson

Day Eight of Kinktober

Summary: Eddie comes over to nurse you back to health after catching a cold.

wc: ~1.9k

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: pet names, no use of Y/N, Friends to lovers, kissing, sickness (reader has a cold), although this story is tame, my blog is 18+ so MDNI!!!

In collaboration with the lovely @darknesseddiem. Stay tuned for the latter part of October for their stories!!

You had been looking forward to this Friday since you got the invite. You had hung out with Robin and Steve before, and you of course had attended the past few weeks of Hellfire club, but you were excited to get an official invite, by Eddie of all people. But when you woke up that morning, you felt the sensation of molten lava behind your eyes. Your ears were plugged and you could hear a shrill ringing. When you sat yourself up in your bed, you moaned loudly. Your head felt like it was going to explode. You thought you would miss school to sleep this cold off so you could go to your inaugural group-hangout. You shuffled to the bathroom in search of some relief, took a big swig of cough syrup (with a wince) and laid yourself back into bed, in hopes that you were going to wake up a new person… what wishful thinking that was.

The shrill tone of your phone jolted you awake. Your new place of respite being the couch, surrounded by half drank cups of tea and an empty bowl of soup. All of your last ditch efforts to feel human again failed miserably, the only relief you feel from your fever is the one leg sticking out of your comforter. You trudged your way to the phone with a groan and a sniffle.

“H-hello?” you croaked.

“Hey champ - woah you sound awful!” a boisterous voice greeted you. You couldn’t help but crack a smile as Eddie interrogated you from the payphone at Hawkins high. “Wanted to check in on you because I didn’t see you at lunch or in History, but I can hear why… you okay?” Eddie’s shoulders were by his ears, why was he so nervous to call you?

Calls between you and Eddie were not unwelcome, but definitely not routine. He had requested your phone number when you joined Hellfire in case he needed to call you about upcoming campaigns. As much of a unorganized slob Eddie could be, he had every member’s phone number written neatly on chart paper in the front of his DM book. His DnD setup was his pride and joy. He had called you a few times before to talk about secret messages your Drow Bard could decipher. Oddly enough, you felt your heart in your stomach every time he called you…

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I’m okay ish. I think I have a head cold.” You sniffle, words being muddled by the phlegm in your sinuses. “I hate to bail on movie night with the gang last minute, but I think I better stay home.” You were worried you were going to ruin your chances to infiltrate the gang of teens you so desperately wanted to be friends with.

“What’re the symptoms, kid?” Eddie asked in a terrible rendition of a transatlantic accent.

“Well, Dr. Munson… I have a fever, headache and I can’t breathe out of my nose.” you giggle.

“Shit… looks like we’re gonna have to put you down” he joked. His shoulders relaxing as he took a deep breath out. “I’m really sorry you’re feeling so shit, champ.” The nickname rang through your ears like a sweet symphony. Eddie had a really great way of making you feel special, even though your friendship was still budding.

“No, I’m sorry I’m not going to be there. I was really looking forward to it.” He can sense the genuine disappointment in your voice.

“Well, I’m not gonna lie I’m pretty bummed, and the gang will be too, but there’s gonna be other times!!” Eddie cooed. You wished you could wave a magic wand and make yourself feel better. You wanted to be friends, you wanted to be included so badly. You said your goodbyes to Eddie and he hung up the phone with a saccharine sweet ‘get well soon, sweetheart’ that left you smiling in your kitchen for what felt like an hour after you put the phone receiver back on the wall. Disappointed with the foul return of silence, you curled yourself back up on the couch and turned on the TV to a rerun of Match Game. It was no time at all until the clapping and laughing on the TV lulled you back to sleep. When you woke up, you were met with a setting sun and a rumbling tummy, but your body was too tired to pull you off the couch to the kitchen.

You aimlessly flicked channels until you were interrupted by a rhythmic knock on your front door. You looked at the clock on the wall. It's 6:45… your parents were out of town and all of your friends were at Eddie’s trailer for movies. You tiptoed to the door and peered through the peephole. Your eyes grew twice in size when you saw a familiar head of curls and big brown eyes. Eddie had a large paper bag under his arm. You swung open the door, a bewildered smile plastered on your face.

“Eddie! What are you doing here?” You beamed. Even though your eyes were sunken in, your face was pale and your nose was bright red, you were glowing. Eddie greeted you with an ear splitting grin.

“Well can’t have a movie night without the movie superstar, so I thought I’d bring the movie night to you.” he winked. “Plus, I brought reinforcements” he smirked as he jiggled the bag he was holding. You stepped aside and let him slide through the door. He took in your small living room with a smile. Pictures of your grade school portraits hung on the wall, different poses with you and your parents with different states in the backgrounds rested neatly on a bookshelf. The couch was decorated with scatterings of tissue and blankets. You scurried past him to bundle up the kleenex and ran to the kitchen to discard them. You hurried back to your guest.

“I’m really sorry about the mess,” you babbled, scrambling to pick up rogue dishes and napkins. Eddie grabbed your shoulders to stop you and grabbed the dishes out of your hand.

“It’s all good, champ. You aren’t feeling good.” he sauntered into your kitchen like he owned the place. “Plus, your house is a mansion compared to mine… even when it is messy.” He turned to wink at you and placed the dishes in the sink. He came back to the living room to your small coffee table where he had put down the mysterious paper bag. It was so full, it barely stood up on its own. You lowered yourself onto the couch and Eddie joined you. He grabbed for the bag, pulling out his wares full of Family Video tapes and various bags of chips.

“I didn’t know which kind of chips you liked, so I bought 3 different kinds. Plus, I heard sour patch kids are really good for sore throats.” Eddie giggled as he continued to organize your snacks. “Oh! And nothing makes a cold better than homemade chicken noodle soup.” You laughed with your whole chest as Eddie pulled out a can of Campbell’s soup out of the bag. You felt like you could cry, none of your friends had ever put this much thought into making you feel better. Eddie looked back at you with his signature crooked smile. You thought that he was handsome enough, but he was quickly proving that he was just as beautiful on the inside, if not more.

“You lay back down and get yourself comfortable. I’ll get the movie set up and go make you some soup.” Eddie made himself at home in your house quickly. He maneuvered around your small kitchen with ease and before you knew it, you could smell the faint saltiness of soup cooking on the stove. You and Eddie sat on the couch comfortably, soup steaming on your coffee table and the foreboding melody of the Shining playing on your TV. You had barely made it to Danny meeting Halloran and you had been lulled to sleep, head slumping forward. Eddie had been glancing over to you periodically, his smirk plastered to his face as he watched you fall into your slumber. When you slumped over, Eddie timidly placed his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him. Your tired body happily obliged him. Everything about this evening had just felt right. You let your head lull onto Eddie’s chest, letting his pounding heartbeat guide you into a deeper sleep.

Darkness had swept through your house. You opened your eyes to the fuzzy static of the stopped VCR on your TV. You were welcomed back to consciousness with the feeling of Eddie’s chest rising and falling and the soft snores coming from his mouth. You stretch your arms and legs with a small groan, not wanting to wake the sleeping metalhead next to you. You turned your head to look at the clock. 1:24 am. Shit.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Eddie rasped. His voice was small and low, you felt your heart melt.

“Yeah, we must have fallen asleep. I’m sorry” You croaked. You were scared to admit to hin, but sleeping on Eddie made you feel much better than wallowing by yourself all night.

“Hey, what are you sorry for?” Eddie cupped your cheek to pull your gaze to his. “I wouldn’t have wanted to spend my Friday night any other way.”

Eddie’s eyes glimmered in a way that made your heart flutter. He looked at you with such adoration, you felt confused and excited. That isn’t how friends looked at each other; but if you were being honest with yourself, you would rather Eddie look at you the way he was forever. You didn’t miss how his eyes flickered to your lips as he licked his own. A flash of nervousness basked his face and you sat yourself up to look at him properly.

“Can I tell you something?” Eddie whispered, his eyes glued to where his ringed fingers toyed with the frays of his jeans. You nodded your head at him.

“Before I called you, I was hoping that all the others were going to cancel on movie night, or that you could stay later than everyone else so I could get some time alone with you.” His pale cheeks dusted pink. You felt your heart begin to beat out of your chest. You couldn’t help the shy smile that grew on your face.

“Really?”

“Yeah” Eddie exhaled. His nerves left him when he took the chance to look up at you. You radiated reassurance and excitement, making it now impossible for him to take his eyes off of you. He leaned himself closer to you.

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie gulped. He felt like you were taking all the air out of his lungs. You nodded at him, your glassy eyes drowning in him. Eddie softly pressed his lips to yours. He was cautious, he didn’t want to scare you off, but everything about kissing you was exactly what Eddie thought it would be. Your lips were soft, even though they were slightly chapped, and they fit perfectly on his. His hand came up to cup your cheek; he was desperate to show you how much he liked you. You pulled away from him suddenly, your eyes full of guilt and nerves. Eddie’s face matched yours immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie questioned you. His mind immediately went fuzzy. He took it too far and now you’re going to push him away.

“Eddie. I’m gonna get you sick!” you sniffled. The boy let out a chesty laugh and pulled you into his lap.“Well, then it will be your turn to take care of me next week.”

taglist: @sadbitchfangirl @catcrown21 @aol19 @joantje @vintagehellfire @keikoraven @kirstinjayjay @brinleighsstuff @dark-angel-is-back @mmunson86 @eddies-acousticguitar @sluggzillaa @hideoutside @anxiousobserver @ali-r3n @poofyloofy @emxxblog @filth-fiction-archive If you would like to be a part of my taglist, please fill out this form and follow me!

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson ff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #eddie munson edit #stranger things au #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things s4

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calamitaswrath · 5 months ago

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Lucia plays Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn: Prologue

So! I already played this and the next two chapters about half a week ago, but thankfully there isn't too much going on in these chapters yet.

The opening cinematic is really cool. Lots of nice stuff in it, but I am curious how much of it actually happens in the game, and whether it is not perhaps just supposed to be evocative of the ~vibes~.

Thanks to me streaming these chapters for my friend who's obsessed with this game, I was able to unravel the Mystery™ of the game's difficulty settings. Ended up going with the supposed "easy" difficulty, since I assume that's best for a blind playthrough.

Oh god, the animated cutscenes have German voice acting. The generic enemy soldiers don't actually sound that bad, but Micaiah. . . hm. Mh.

Pretty standard setup for a Fire Emblem prologue chapter, eh? Bandits attack commoners, main characters gotta do something about it. Have to say though, the basic concept of the situation is really interesting - most FE games tend to end after the whole "and then the evil king was defeated" plot, but here we see the aftermath of what becomes of the "evil kingdom", and how it affects the general populace. Off the top of my head, I also can't really think of any FE game where the protagonists are framed as rebels like that, when that actually works rather well for a FE plot.

I already told my friend this, but I'm actually really curious about Micaiah as a protagonist. I don't really tend to hear a lot about her from people, and vaguely remember hearing that she gets overshadowed by Ike. So between a female protagonist that was (apparently?) done dirty by the story, the light magic, white hair and golden eyes, she's really in a good position to be a character I really like. Probably in a gender envy way too.

As for the other members of the Dawn Brigade so far. . . I honestly can't really make a comment. The only thing that comes to mind is that the FMA brainrot is far too strong in my head to not think of Edward Elric when I see the name "Edward".

Vulneraries with eight uses?? Damn, that's. . . wow. Restoring 20 HP too, while there are also these herbs that restore 10. Considering what I've heard of the game's difficulty, these must be pretty vital (hah) on higher difficulties.

First map is really no big issue..

Pfft, really laying it on a bit thick with the Begnion soldiers being framed as villains. The friend I was streaming this for did hype up Jarod as funny though, so I'm curious to see how this shakes out.

#lucia plays fire emblem radiant dawn #shut up lucia you fool #shut up cal you fool #fire emblem radiant dawn #radiant dawn

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faraway-sunshine · 7 months ago

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Since we're talking about computers, I'll ask something bigger: what would be your DREAM tech setup? Like, if you could have any setup in your room (including computer, TV, any other gadgets or whatever), what would you want and how would you want it to look? No sci-fi stuff obviously, lol

I'm fairly up to date with computer and console stuff, a bit less with the rest, but this was fun for me to figure out:

First, TV. One of those ones that's big, but not so big that it takes four people to carry it out of the apartment, stacked on top of a cabinet that can house the other devices below it without being too much of a mess.

VCR because we have a lot of tapes and the video stores are still nearly all tapes, but maybe something that reads DVDs for when they surpass them. I mean, CDs replaced cassette music for ages, DVDs are surely going to replace movie tapes. I'm not sold enough to buy a DVD player for real but hey, dream setup, got to be prepared in case.

One of those TiVo digital recording devices they started making last year. A friend of mine at school has it and he says it's great because he doesn't have to keep buying tapes.

Oh, and a cable box, which I'm pretty sure you need for the TiVo. With the package we have now that has most of the entertainment channels.

Nintendo 64, and if games are allowed, Ocarina of Time and Pokémon Snap.

Seeing as this is Dream Setup and money doesn't seem to be an issue, a PlayStation would also be cool so I can try Final Fantasy out. Come to think of it, they're releasing the PlayStation 2 this month, so maybe I should say that? But would Final Fantasy be ready to go for PS2 on launch? I'm not sure.

All the cables so I can set up the consoles, VCR, cable box, TiVo, and possible DVD player underneath with the wires bundled up neatly in order to make swapping them out easy. Honestly that's the biggest change I'd enjoy immediately from the current setup; the back of the TV right now is a mess, and if I want to dig out the Genesis for instance it's a bit of a chore.

Honestly my current PC and monitor is pretty good so I'd stick with that, or maybe wait for that new operating system Quo hinted at for computer. The only other thing I could ask for would be something that can play those music files I download from Napster onto that's portable (or something that can burn CDs for my Discman). There's some devices that do that I think but it hasn't caught on much yet. It would be cool if it did as that way I could have all my music on me all the time instead of having to choose between discs.

I hope this doesn't come across as me seeming greedy. I'm lucky to have what I have and I'm using my computer and Gameboy more than anything these days anyway when I'm not doing homework or some sort of practice (although I have started watching some TV there's only one new episode every week and that's like half an hour or so and I can watch while playing). I'm just trying to dream big for this ask.

(Monday 9th October, 2000, 6:29 AM)

#omori #ask sunny from omori #ask answered #anonymous #tech talk #sunny omori #omori sunny

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bisluthq · 3 months ago

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If Joe was freeloading, he would have been gone long before 2023. Taylor once commented about certain celebrities(not named, but I suspected Miley and Justin at the time) having an entourage of friends who didn’t really have a job. Taylor said she didn’t care about how much they made, but to be her friend, you have to have a career. She gave Abi as an example, having a regular job, among others. I really don’t know if I could be married to someone like Taylor. She would always outearn me, no matter what I did. She really does not have to work, because her dad gave her advice how to protect her money a long time ago. That is why I don’t fault Joe, because I would feel inadequate being with her. The only people who wouldn’t feel inadequate are her fellow billionaires, and most of them suck.

I’m just not sure the money is or ought to be a problem? I feel like at least 70% of couples (idk the exact number lmao) have one partner who earns more than the other. Usually it’s the guy because, well, society - but fwiw I personally know regular people where the woman has the bolder career and more income. I feel like as long as that’s acknowledged and accounted for and both partners do things (whether that’s financial or in the case of stay at home partners stuff in the home) and the bigger earner isn’t, well, financially abusive (and that doesn’t mean they pay for all your personal shit except again where one partner is a stay at home and then the income earner really should pay for shit including self-care/travel/etc) it’s really not a problem? Idk man I think as you get older, it’s pretty hard to find a setup where everything is fair for a 50/50 split unless you’re either a power couple or both really struggling. I feel like everyone I know that I’ve actually spoken to about this doesn’t split it that way because it’s not really sustainable - if you earn less than your partner then it’s not super fair for you to have to have less savings or less personal stuff in order for you to contribute across an even split for shared expenses. You’re then getting fucked over. Alternatively, and this I guess can work if the higher earner is very frugal/prefers a simpler life, you need to live according to the lower earner’s budget.

My partner and I’ve talked about this - as in money - a lot and I think navigate it quite well. His point has repeatedly been that he doesn’t want to live on my budget because he really doesn’t have to. He also very much doesn’t want to pay for my personal things that have fuck all to do with him except like as a gift right and then he obviously doesn’t want to have to gift me yk personal items or whatever every week/month. But when it comes to, for example, basic things like utilities, he hates thinking about shit like turning off the lights or geysers or not running the A/C all day and like for us to go 50/50 I’d want to think about that? - so he’s happy to just pay it in full. For big ticket items also like he’d rather pay for a flight for me to where he wants to go on holiday than go to where and when I can afford to go on holiday. We have friends who fight about money stuff and this is usually his advice like obviously don’t pay for personal crap if the person has a job because they should structure their lives better and should be able to afford the things they *need* (or really want for personal use) but also like… take responsibility for the things they can’t afford that *you* chose to do with them. Like we have friends where he owns the apartment they live in but it’s heavily bonded and she pays more than half of that bond because he paid the deposit but my partner’s point is that that’s fair enough if that’s what they both want, but if Gd forbid he dies or if they break up then in the former case she should get the apartment and in the latter case she should be paid out. The friend doesn’t think this and calls it her “rent” and says she’d pay the same money monthly if she lived alone which like… may well be right actually but she doesn’t and that’s in our opinion a little financially abusive lol because it’s one of those one bedroom Brooklyn style loft things right (beautiful apartment fwiw) and like he wouldn’t be able to get a roommate/tenant so no it’s not her “rent” lol it’s her contribution to his financial well-being because they’re in a relationship. So idk man navigate shit in a way that’s fair and acceptable to you and realize that you obviously won’t only ever date people who will have an even split with you regarding income and ergo you can’t expect an even split on expenses. That’s for NORMAL PEOPLE right but it also applies to Taylor, who will never date someone with an even split in income.

Obviously Taylor can’t and doesn’t expect her guys to pay for yk her life that she’s structured in the ways she has (her houses, staff, aestheticians, cars, etc) but that also doesn’t mean that they should pay for absolutely nothing seeing as they all have jobs lol idk. And that’s I think what happens and that’s fine? And yes they all get to benefit from being with her financially (in terms of possibly reduced expenses but also in terms of just cool shit like nice houses and planes and stuff) because that’s just how relationships work?

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fluffy-critter · 1 year ago

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#crosspost #busybee

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mitzirockerextendeduniverse · 1 year ago

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[Hi! For... god, years now, I've had this massive Spreadsheet (yes, it requires a capital letter) of retro JRPGs I've wanted to (1) play my way through and (2) blog about. (1) was fairly easy after I stopped trying to play on original hardware, but I found it surprisingly hard to do (2) without it devouring all my free time. So instead of a dedicated blog, I'm just gonna do these short summary posts here whenever I beat a game. There's two in the backlog right now, starting with...]

What it is: The Tower of Druaga (ドルアーガの�� Druaga no Tō) for Famicom, released on the 6th of August, 1985, developed and published by Namco. Based on the arcade game of the same name from June 1984, also published by Namco and chiefly designed by Masanobu Endō, creator of early scrolling shmup Xevious, it's the first game in - the Spreadsheet as a whole, yes, but also the Babylonian Castle Saga, a collection of (for the most part) vaguely RPG-like action games that tell the story of a prince named Gil, his lover, the priestess Ki, and their quest to restore peace to their loosely-Babylonian fantasy world.

What it's about:

I think the attract screen puts it pretty well! There's some more wrinkles to the backstory, which I mostly got from a strategy guide released at the time - an invading empire, the goddess Ishtar, the precise mechanics behind why, exactly, this is our heroes' last chance to save their kingdom - quite a lot for a mid-80s arcade game. It's pretty thin by RPG standards, but as a setup, it works, and I found it surprisingly engrossing.

How it plays: How do you make an RPG work in the arcade? Apparently, you turn it into a Pac-Man clone. Okay, that's a little flippant; Druaga may be a maze chase game, but there's a lot more going on in it than in most arcade games of its day. On the surface, it's a game about running around mazes, killing monsters, and grabbing keys to get to the next floor, until you defeat Druaga and rescue Ki on the top of the tower. All you have to do is fight your way to the sixtieth floor, right?

In any other arcade game of its era, maybe, but not here. Almost every floor of the tower also contains a hidden treasure that can only be revealed by performing a specific action unique to that floor. The higher Gil gets up the tower, the more he'll need them, from books to reveal the layout of darkened floors to a series of items that turn the increasingly common dragons from the most dangerous enemies in the game to an easily ignored afterthought. Pretty much every useful item in the game (there's several duds and a few traps) is needed to defeat Druaga, so knowing where they are and how to reveal them is absolutely key to beating the game.

The catch - because of course there's a catch - is that neither the treasures' locations nor their revealing methods are signposted at all. Every single one has to be trial-and-error brute-forced out, and they can get pretty arcane - entering a fairly long cheat code, defeating several enemies in a specific order, walking over a particular tile in a particular direction... The intent was for arcade-goers to 'solve' the game together, figuring out all its secrets over the course of weeks or months, but when you don't have a friendly mid-80s Japanese arcade crowd to help you out all you're left with is a mountain of guesswork. Or a walkthrough, which has been a standard bonus feature on its Namco Museum rereleases since the mid-90s.

What I thought: I had a lot of fun with this game! Admittedly I was using a walkthrough (in Japanese, because part of the purpose of the Spreadsheet is to practice my language skills) to bypass about half of the Intended Experience™, but the other half, the straightforward arcade action Pac-Man-with-a-sword gameplay loop, was engaging enough in its own right. Gil controls really well, you never feel like you're fighting the programming instead of the monsters, you can always tell why you died even if the game took a cheap shot, and its insanely generous continue system lets you jump right back to the level you were on with all your items intact when you run out of lives. It's still tough, but it's tough in a fair way, breaking up its fast-paced action into discrete digestible chunks with a chance to breathe between every floor. And frankly, though it is 1980s quarter-muncher hard, I've played indie puzzle platformers that were much worse.

And I do think it succeeds at distilling the RPG into an arcade format, though the result is only an RPG by the loosest possible definition. Despite the lack of numbers and exploration (well, in a sense) there's a distinct feeling of progression to Gil's journey up the tower, a kind of character growth uncommon to - basically any genre outside the RPG in 1984. As Gil collects treasures, he grows faster, stronger, better at navigating the labyrinths, to the point that, despite the increasingly tougher challenges the game throws at you, it almost gets easier the further along you get. With the continue system I mentioned, you can even jump back to floors you've already cleared (mostly to replace a particular item that occasionally breaks) and breeze through the monsters that once gave you so much trouble. It's this kind of thoughtful design that makes me really appreciate Druaga, more than I honestly expected to when I first booted it up. Give it a try, it's pretty good!

#tales from the retro jrpg Spreadsheet #babylonian castle saga #the tower of druaga #famicom #1985 #namco #retro rpg #true story: in the time between starting this post and finishing it i have beaten a third rpg #it's the original zelda. fuck you that's an rpg #but yeah by the standards of modern games druaga (with a walkthrough) is... moderately hard but not severely so #you ever play cuphead? it ain't as hard as cuphead #we'll next see gil and ki in the quest of ki (1987)#but the next game on the Spreadsheet comes out in december 1985 #called bokosuka wars. see you then!

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philosophicalparadox · 2 years ago

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The difference a proper enclosure can make

Look at this adorable fuckin lizard. Look at it. It's too cute to bear. (On record we Think she's an Oaxacan Spiny/Club tailed Iguana. The person I got her from had no clue what species she is though. We assume female because most males are green, but honestly I have no idea).

First time she (they?) Have ever slept out in the open. Normally Skit is...well, skittish. Hence her name.

But ever since I upgraded her enclosure from a 20 gallon long (the only suitable tank i had at the time) to a 67 gallon tall, the difference has been literally day and night. I fully expected the ultra-neophobic iguana in her to freak the hell out being put in such a huge space - which in a lizard looks like hiding all the time, not eating, etc. but she's done precisely the opposite. Her appetite is bigger than ever and *fanfare noises* I actually have gotten her to eat from my hand! It hasn't even been a week since I moved her over - a very stressful affair in spite of my trying. Normally I use a critter keeper and trap her rather than grabbing so there's minimal contact. But it was too urgent to move her quickly so I had to use The Gloves, which she hates. Tail whipping, (which is why they are leather gloves, cause they don't call em spiny club tails for no reason) biting, hissing kind of hates.

But she got over it pretty quickly and within less than 24 hours was out and about and exploring. I've seen her tongue flick more in the last 3 days than I've seen in three months. (Tongue flicking = happy, curious iguana). She even copies me! If I tongue flick at her she will do it back.

The abrupt change in our relationship has caught me wildly off guard. She used to bolt from me, retreating to her hide as soon as I so much as walked in the room, and she outright refused to have anything to do with my hands (we think she was wild caught, her terror of hands was so severe when I first got her). Now she casually comes up to me (!) And doesnt even mind me moving my hands around her. She is suspicious of them still, and cautious about taking anything from them. But she will gladly eat wax worms from the tip of my finger - the ultimate incentiviser for anything that eats bugs. (And Yes, unlike green iguanas, these guys Do eat animals).

Idk why I'm sharing this here, I'm just so elated that progress has been made and utterly shocked by the abrupt change of its pace. I've had her three and a half months now and in spite of my expectations to the contrary she's thrived in her new set up.

This is what it looks like btw. It's too awkward to take a pic of the whole thing at once so I had to take two.

The hot side, where she likes to casually bask. Look at her sleeping right in the middle of the tank. Unbelievable for such a previously shy animal.

The cool side, with her favorite hide. (And turtle buddy, because it came with her and its important to include familiar objects in New environments) She has a network of burrows she's dug already from inside the hide - she's quite the excavator!

Im really happy with her now. If I wasn't sure I was keeping her before (I was just supposed to foster her until she got better) I definitely am now. The difference a proper setup can make!

#animals #iguanas #spiny tail iguanas #ctenosauria #progress #lizards #reptiles #cute reptiles #proper habitats

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pmackarts246-01 · 1 month ago

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ARTS 246 Process Blog #11

This week's reading was a bunch of case studies of real world design projects. The first part that interested me was seeing all of the posters and how they were arranged hierarchically and compositionally. Since we just finished our Alphabeast poster project this week and talked a lot about composition and hierarchy in the critique, it was helpful to see how other people are going about making strong posters. I also thought the Unigrid case study was wildly interesting. I find myself using similar grid setups for my projects, and they often have lots of columns and rows. This, I have found, lets me have freedom in how I lay out elements but still maintains consistency across pages. Seeing something that can be used so widely across any type of design was very interesting to me. Since I do layouts on tabloid size paper frequently, I'm curious if experimenting with some sort of "universal tabloid layout" would be helpful for my design process.

This week, we wrapped up the Alphabeast poster design process. I'm pretty satisfied with the results, and I've gotten pretty much only positive feedback. I feel like my process book could use some light revisions, but overall I think the project as a whole went pretty smoothly.

Currently, we are working on finishing up our letters poster and adding our AR elements. I did quite a bit of work on mine this week. My first step was to revise the colors I used. This involved me going back into the game to adjust which colors I actually picked for the reference cars. I tried to stick to manufacturer paint colors where possible, avoid putting two of the same color next to each other on the poster, and also avoid picking colors that would have low contrast with white. From there, I simply used the Eyedropper tool to bring these colors into InDesign. I also decided to adjust similar colors to be the same to add some repetition and unity to the design. Below is the result.

This version can also be used in Artivive as I am working on the AR element. The intent was for the poster to act as a trigger for a video that would show off the cars I used as inspiration, kind of like a love letter to the cars I studied. To do this, I captured each clip individually using Forza Horizon 5's replay feature. In its current state, the video will likely be too long to warrant using in an AR context, so I will likely make the time per letter half of what it is now, so that all of the letters can fit in the time I have currently. I may also add a full "Director's Cut" as a supplement, just to pay my respects to the process of designing all of my letters. Attached below is a still of what scanning in Artivive will do, as well as a couple still frames from editing.

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