#my sense of direction isn't the greatest but i know how to allow for it and compensate

[kiralamouse]

Honestly, I don’t feel like I get lost more often without GPS (I use the present tense because my data plan is unreliable enough that I often have to navigate the old-fashioned way) - it’s just that corrections are MUCH faster and easier. But with or without GPS, I *will* manage to miss turns because I’m distracted by traffic or “is that a road?” or whatever, and I *will* have to double back.

Which is why I usually try to learn several of the *wrong* ways to go as well, so that I can recognize that missed turn more quickly. That’s even more critical without GPS - “If I see X major road or Y major landmark, I’ve overshot and need to go back.”

I still navigate unfamiliar cities by the subway map and local signs just fine, which is good because there’s not much my phone can do to make public transit make more sense.

[ficretus]

I am getting kind of annoyed both at takes I see at rwde as well as anon who spammed my posts few weeks ago. Basically, they argue that on top of being awful character, Jaune also completely ruins his literary allusion, Joan of Arc.

Of course, you are free to like or dislike Jaune, however, when people claim they hate Jaune because he is a coward, I get really confused. Jaune is not a coward, he is pretty brave, to the point of it being kind of flaw since he has low regard for his own safety. If he was a coward, he wouldn't have went with Ruby, Nora and Ren to Haven, he wouldn't have challenged Cinder to the fight, he wouldn't have tried to infiltrate Salem's base to save Oscar, etc. They are pretty on the nose with it in Volume 8 when Ren states Jaune feels no fear.

However, meat of my gripes is with people not understanding Joan of Arc and how to translate her character to the story.

No, Jaune not being giga chad isekai self insert protagonist level of strong is not an issue or insult to his primary literary allusion, it's the opposite. I don't know do people get their Joan of Arc knowledge from Fate Grand Order, but Joan herself wasn't skilled fighter. She was never properly trained and never directly fought someone. In pretty much every major battle she fought she was wounded or knocked out (hit by an arrow at Orleans, knocked out by a rock at Jargeau, hit by an arrow at Paris, knocked off from her horse at Compiegne). In fact her knowledge of sword fighting was so lacking she accidentally broke her treasured sword when she struck a prostitute with its side. There is no good reason for Jaune to be some kind of prodigy when he is based on a character that never properly fought anyone.

No, Jaune relying on his team to solve problems doesn't make him pussy and isn't unlike Joan. Once again, Joan of Arc wasn't front line fighter, she was moral support to the army. Her greatest triumph, siege of Orleans, was just her directing armies where to go whenever she got a vision. And Jaune's Semblance makes sense for someone based on Joan of Arc. It is essentially morale boost Semblance considering boosting an Aura buffs both your health, defense and offensive abilities. It matches what Joan did for her comrades. Jaune relying on his team to accomplish things is not a bug, it's a feature.

No, Jaune failing doesn't make him an insult to Joan of Arc. Joan of Arc herself wasn't perfect and suffered handful of failures herself. After her victory at Orleans, she won at Jargeau, but then lost the siege at Paris. After that she was stalemated in Perrinet Gressart campaign, won a battle at Lagny and was then captured at Compiegne. After failed siege of Paris, and especially after stalemate against Perrinet Gressart, Court started doubting her abilities. It is simply different order of wins and losses with Joan peaking in her first battle while Jaune was completely useless during the Fall of Beacon but has upward trajectory after that.

Jaune's Joan of Arc is the one without any special abilities but with the same aspirations. He wants to be the hero and save the world, but he wasn't blessed with divine power that gives him unnatural charisma and allows him to see future events. People's gripes and suggestions how to "fix him" usually boil down to turning Jaune into generic power fantasy protagonist. Which is not only boring and misses the point of the character, it also misses the point of Joan of Arc. If Jaune was some kind of prodigy kicking ass since Volume 1, he wouldn't have been Joan, he would have been Roland, Arthur, Lancelot or whatever famous legendary knight you can find.

[roux36prod]

Is In Loving Memory related to Freddy & Friends?

I've actually been getting asked this question a lot ever since I announced the In Loving Memory series. I wasn't going to say anything until Volume 1 released to keep it a surprise, but I'm now coming to the realization that might not be the greatest idea. So instead of keeping this question in the dark until the entirety of Volume 1 is finished, I'm gonna provide clarification on the subject now:

They're not just related. In Loving Memory IS the new Freddy & Friends.

--------------------------------------

Click "Keep reading" for the full details, and what's gonna happen to the Freddy & Friends Tumblr.

--------------------------------------

However, they USED to be two separate AUs...

When I was first creating the idea for In Loving Memory, I made the decision to cross over the Freddy & Friends lore into it in order to make the worldbuilding easier on myself. The functionality of the animatronics, the functions of the pizzeria, among other things. The only things that were really different were the characters and overarching story.

But as I kept on writing it, I realized that doing both In Loving Memory and Freddy & Friends would be really confusing with so much overlapping lore. It would be pointless to do both, since what I planned to release video-wise for F&F wasn't too different from what I wanted to do with ILM.

Additionally, I've been working on Freddy & Friends since I was 11 years-old. The idea of that AU is almost ten years old. And ever since then, the story has gone through many, many, MANY changes. But with all the things that I wanted to incorporate (one such complication being Sister Location existing on the timeline), there were only so many stories I could tell without the timeline becoming crowded. Frankly, the whole thing was quite the cluster-fuck with so many plot holes and character motives that I just couldn't make sense of. Too many hard questions for the writer (me) to find an answer to. Ultimately, what I had feared came to pass: I had done the same thing that Scott did, just with better writing and just as much confusion.

When I started on ILM, I realized that I liked that story MUCH better.

It has a distinct beginning, middle, and end. Without the plot of the games past FNAF 4, it was a much simpler story with better characterization and a clearer plot. And, unlike F&F, I had a clear direction with how I wanted to present it.

And so, with a heavy heart, I reworked F&F into the new AU that I was making. Afterwards, I was led into calling it "In Loving Memory", named after the title sequence theme I had composed for F&F. ;)

The Freddy & Friends label isn't dead, however. Freddy & Friends is canonically a side story that happens within the In Loving Memory AU, and will have more of a focus on the spirits of the children within the animatronics, as opposed to the rest of the series, which is focused on Mike. As of right now, I'm not sure what format that story would be told in. I just know that the events themselves are canon.

So essentially, yes. Freddy & Friends as it once was is technically cancelled. However, I don't like to think about it like that. I like to think that, after almost a decade of residing in my head, we are FINALLY working on the first episode of Freddy & Friends.

Only now, it's going under a different tile. =)

But wait, what's gonna happen to the Freddy & Friends Tumblr?

In all likelihood, I'm going to archive it. I feel like I've released too much content on there and allowed people to delve too deep into that story to simply convert it into the ILM Tumblr.

However, best case scenario, I'm going to rebrand it under a label called Freddy & Friends: Legacy, which is an archive of all the scrapped and unused content of the F&F AU prior to the current draft. There, I can stop being so secretive about its story and lore and give y'all the whole scoop of what I had originally intended. =)

As for the In Loving Memory Tumblr, I'm not sure how much I'm going to carry over. I'm not sure if I'll still have Henry answer questions over on there (I'm characterizing him a little differently). I also styled the original Tumblr to act as a forum that would have existed in the real world. That doesn't really feel right to carry over into In Loving Memory as a Tumblr page, but if you guys really want it, I can probably work something out along those lines.

I hope this clears up any confusion you had on where the series stands

- Roux

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hi, I hope you're having a blessed Good Friday and Holy Week. I have a heavy question that may be difficult to answer but I'm hoping you could provide some insight.

How do I lean on Jesus to keep me strong in an abusive situation? I am a closeted trans guy living with alt-right conservative family. I am doing my best to escape the situation but for now I'm stuck. It feels impossible to stay strong knowing these people already hate me, and would hate me even more if they knew my true and actual self. They're supposed to love me, we're family, but they never have. I want to be like Jesus and love them no matter what, and I want to forgive them, but I don't know how. I feel like I can't forgive what they do when it's continuous and they are not sorry. Can you point me in the direction of any verses or lessons that can help me stay strong in the face of pain and hurt?

TW: unaccepting family, conservative family

Ach, so sorry I didn't see this till now. My heart aches for you in this painful situation. I will be holding you in my prayers; may God enfold you in love and courage to get through this time, and send support your way to help you out. If there is anything I can do to help you get out of this current living situation, please let me know.

The fact that you want to show forgiveness to people who have failed to give you the love and care you deserve shows what a big heart and courageous spirit you have. It's a powerful thing to go through hurt and still seek grace even for the ones who hurt you. That kindness is a rare and precious gift; hang on to it for the future, when there will be people in your life who are actually open to receiving and responding to your kindness.

In the meantime, you are correct in pointing out the impossibility of forgiveness when the ones who hurt you are still hurting you, probably have no plans to stop any time soon, and haven't shown any remorse. Despite how mainstream Christianity has watered down the concept of forgiveness into an abstract statement, to a one-off, simple "forgive and forget :)" attitude, that is not actually the kind of forgiveness that Jesus instructs us in.

Mainstream Christian culture has warped forgiveness into a weapon against the wronged, pressuring them to "just move on" so we don't have to live in the discomfort and challenge of dismantling the kind of power dynamics that allow for harm to take place.

Meanwhile when Jesus taught forgiveness, about reconciliation between a wrongdoer and the one they've wronged, his challenge was to the wrongdoer. It was up to them to show remorse and seek forgiveness, to show they'd actually changed by lowering themselves to an equal field with the one wronged so that the harm can never happen again.

In this post, I talk more about Jesus's idea of forgiveness, and discuss how one might "love one's enemies" as Jesus instructs even when forgiving them is not possible.

One thing that has stood out to a lot of people is that when Jesus was going through his greatest agony, being tortured and murdered on a Roman cross, his words of forgiveness are not "I forgive these people who are in the midst of murdering me" but "Father, forgive them." When we are unable to forgive for any reason, that isn't sinful or a sign of weak faith or any such nonsense. It's recognizing the complicated realities of relationship, where reconciliation isn't the responsibility of the person being wronged. And we can let go of any sense of burden on us to do the forgiving — ultimately, that's not our job, but God's.

___

As you survive this difficult situation, I think about Jesus' fraught relationship with his own biological family. His situation was much different from yours — we know his parents did love him, as did his cousin John, and presumably other family members as well. But they didn't always understand him, and they didn't always accept him. They wanted him to be what they expected him to be, not live into who he truly was.

In Mark 3, as Jesus is gaining steam as a teacher and healer, some of his family gets worried about the fame he's gaining — they say, "he's out of his mind!" and seek to "seize control of him." They think what he preaches is some kind of mental illness, and they're either embarrassed of or scared for him. Jesus, come back home! What will people think?? Don't you know what they're saying about our family??

When people tell Jesus his mother and siblings have arrived, he retorts,

“Who is my mother? Who are my siblings?” Looking around at those seated around him in a circle, he said, “Look, here are my mother and my brothers. Whoever does God’s will is my brother, sister, and mother.”

Jesus recognizes that family is much deeper than blood; that family is about who supports you in your God-given identity and gifts, and helps you grow into the person God created you to be. When biological family fails to do that, your family becomes anyone who does not fail you.

Jesus knew, at least to some extent, some of the pain you are going through in being misunderstood by your own kin. I pray that one day you will be surrounded with an outpouring of love, with people who celebrate all that you are. For now, know that God is that supportive presence holding you close, even when you can't feel Them.

As the psalmist in Psalm 27:10 says, "Even if my father and mother left me all alone, Holy God would take me in." To me, that whole Psalm can be read as a message of encouragement to those currently in the closet — the psalmist experiences God giving them shelter in God's own dwelling place, tucking them away "in a secret place in God's own tent."

One day, you'll be free; for now, I hope you take comfort in knowing God is with you in the closet.

Sending you love and solidarity, anon. May you find moments of joy in the midst of this pain; may God lavish you in love and courage until you're able to leave. <3

[olivereliocorcordium1983]

Eminem vs Cancel culture X'D

this whole cancel eminem thing is making me laugh my ass off. Seriously as a early 90s baby it truly is hilarious to me that so many people are offended by one song. who were not even born when em started his rap game, thinking that this is the first time, he has "offended" people. It isn't. The man speaks his mind, and says so out loud without fear.

this guy has been "dissing people" for years since he started rapping during a time where white rappers, were not allowed in the hip hop/ rap space. Case in point, Vanilla Ice, tried it back then. Vanilla got laughed at and his ass was booted out of the scene. they wanted nothing to do with him.

Then here comes Em a dude who literally came from nothing, got booed at rap battles, lost a few of them. Was told he was never going to make in the rap scene at all, having a horrible upbringing ect. yet look where the man is now.

Managed to bust his ass and gain the respect of most of the black rappers within the rap game. Who also in return give him the upmost respect and are cool with him. Back when they were all trying to come up themselves trying to make a name for themselves and cement their legacy's like Pac (may he rest in peace).

He has managed to cement himself as one of the greatest rappers of all time and has EARNED their respect. It's why he is a legend in his own right and why other rappers won't dare mess with him in the sense of causing beef with him.

In fact, I am almost certain that it seems like a "right of passage" at this point to be apart of or even in one of Em's songs. X'D and he has far worse lyrics in other songs that make "Houdini" sound like a church song on sunday.

"Kim" about him getting into a fight with his ex wife, then murdering her. Due to intense anger towards her.

"Bonnie and Clyde 97'- Him putting his wife's body in the trunk of his car and going to dispose of said body at the beach. With his daughter in the car as well.

"Guilty Conscience"- themes of date rape, murder, robbery.

"Criminal"- murder

"Stan"- the story of an obsessed Em fan who ends up commiting murder on his girlfriend, then killing himself.

"Kill you"- theme of rape

"The Real Slim Shady"- directed at Christina & Brittany Spears. (which disses both of them and it's funny as shit!)

"Cleaning out my Closet" - About Em's mom

Which every kid now adult of my generation knows about these songs. And i'm sure that they could name many different ones even though these song are controversial in nature it proves how crazy of a story teller that Em can be.

The only people that he has truly dissed within his career and had actual issues with was MGK for talking about his daughter and Ja Rule who did the same thing. which is understandable you don't go after a man's daughter and get away with it. But everyone else who are apart of his songs, he has got no real beef with. In his very own words he said himself, that if the name fits with the song then he is going to use it. It is nothing personal for him unless, someone does something to make it personal like talk about his daughter.

So all of those who are "offended" by the song. You are going to have a long damn way to go if you decide to travel down that rabbit hole. he's got a lot of them.

This isn't the first time Em has been talked about due to his controversial lyrics. And it certainly won't be the last I'm sure, but the world seriously needs to get over itself. Not everything needs to be taken so damn seriously.

Em's not going anywhere there way too many people who like him and respect him for what he does. Besides, the man has already proven himself enough, he has nothing to prove anymore. He showed himself and the world that he could become a great rapper and he did it. he did it all to give a better life to his kids.

But if you are easily that offended by THAT then I dare you to sit down and listen to "Dancing with the Devil" by Immortal Technique all the way through and then come back and tell me you are still offended by Eminem.

[daddysfangirls-marvel]

Scars (23)

Chapter 23- Uninvited

Warning: fluff, hint of angst

With a drink in hand and face on neutral, Loki sat in the farthest corner of the room in the shadows. Tony decided to throw a last-minute celebration party they had finally got what they were looking for. Loki did not want to attend this party, but Tony insisted, saying, "You've got nothing better to do" At that moment, Loki wanted to retort, " Your daughter," but thought better of it and for the first time in forever the silver tongue remained stilled.

Now standing off alone, Loki wished he had given another excuse. The hate in the room was invisible, but one could sense it and know where it was directed. Loki felt out of place as he listened to everyone converse and laugh around him. He was uncomfortable. He didn't want to be here he wanted to he upstairs curled up with Alice watching her annoying Disney movies.

Alice was not allowed at the party or to leave her apartment, for that matter. " Too many people," Tony said.

Loki felt guilt for being here he knew she could hear the part from her room. " Can I join your pity parade?" Bucky said taking a seat

"No" Loki said, he was ignored.

Bucky sipped his beer " You're upset Alice isn't here" Loki lost his composure for a moment, just a moment, but the moment was enough for Bucky. " You're alright. I'm no snitch. I think it's kind of sweet. You being there for her putting all the bad away to just keep her company when no one else can ... or will. She doesn't deserve to be alone"

Bruce took a seat on the other side of Loki, water in hand. Loki glared at him.

"He didn't tell me anything I found out on my own." Bruce was now regretting sitting down " Security cameras. Tony is not as vigilant as he has brainwashed Alice to think he is." Loki took one look at his drink and tossed it back he put the glass down on the coffee table in front of them.

"Why?" He could understand Dr.Banner, he was Kind to Loki on account of Alice's physical and mental health. But why was Sergeant Barnes helping Loki, why was he allowing him near Alice. He could see on angel as to which he'd benefited from. What did he truly want?

To receive kindness of any kind was rare for Loki, aside from him brother, Any kindness he did receive always benefited someone else. The Avengers were Kind enough to let Loki stay on earth in exchange for community services, and Thor threatened to Leave for good as well. Dr. Banner remained kind because it affect Alice who he was taking care of in secret.

Thanos so generously picked Loki from the void, he brainwashed and tortured him. So Gods forgives him for not believing in just pure kindness.

"What do you want?" Loki asked, taking his Asgardian to meld out this human booze wasn't doing it for him.

"Why do I have to want something?"

"Because everyone wants something. Especially from the gods. what god better to ask than the one at your mercy"

"I don't want anything from you. And as much as you want me to I don't hate you either"

"Bruce sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder " I pity you". He pitied him. The man that represented self-pity its self-pitied him. Dear god, how had he gotten so low. The pity was pitying him. Loki took a long swig of his meld.

"I'm helping because... You could do good if someone leads you to that good. ANd I believe Alice is leading you to that good. So, who am I to stop her? She's a good girl and you haven't hurt her yet. So don't, don't make me regret this." Bucky looked Loki directly in the eye... until it got awkward than funny. Then all three of them started talking like they were friends they weren't enemies, they weren't frenemies, they were just friends in that moment.

Of course, others gave them strange Looks seem the strange three of the team conversating and laughing together. Feeling uncomfortable the three moved outside to the balcony. " The world's greatest misfit greatest bad guys together," Bruce said

"Explain," Bucky demanded.

" The Hulk doesn't have many fans. Destroying many cities and countries. I've fucked up everywhere I've gone. You, Sergeant Barnes, have rearranged history with the many politicians you've been made to kill. And Loki wrecked New York and introduced the world to aliens in the worst way possible." Bruce leans on the Balcony looking down "We've all done bad things, really bad things and we're here doing good now. Of course, we have different reasons, but we're doing good."

"My reason is Steve... I... I love him. He's my reason for staying and doing good instead of running off to end it." Bucky smiled, looking down at his hands. He loved Steve more than he probably should, he defiantly loved Steve more than Steve loved him, or so he assumed.

"Well, my reason is right up there," Loki pointed up. Bruce and Bucky looked up to see the glass floor of the next balcony. They could see a bundle of blankets on the floor wrapped up in Alice as she lay with her cheek pressed to the glass she appeared to be sleeping. They both smiled.

"Are you okay, Darling?" Loki called up to her she lifted her hand and looked down at them smiling Loki smiled up at her " What are you doing up there?"

"Listening to the party. Watching you" SHe said just loud enough for them to hear.

"Why don't you get out of this cold. I'll meet you in your room in a moment" She eagerly nodded before getting up and rushing to her room. " Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me"

"We'll make up an excuse for you, go ahead" Bruce waved Loki off and watched as he snuck his way out of the party. Bruce looked around the crowd and found Steve and Sam playing pole and Natasha by the bar.

" Everyone's happy right now. There's no problem... just calm"

"You're jinxing us," Bucky said looking down at the city "We're having a peaceful moment, and you're painting it out which means something going to come and wash the colors away. Something bad is going to happen now. Therefore jinxing us"

"Oh so you're superstitious" Bruce laughed

"We have two literal Gods inside, and now you want to test faith. The last time I tempted faith this made I ended up draft to war, became a prisoner of war, found out my best let a scientist prob him then joined willing himself, came to terms with my gayness, and then fell off a train"

" That's... a rough sequence of events"

"Indeed"

The two remained and had a pity party on the balcony.

-

Her sleeves were pulled up, and she traced the faded scars on her arms, unaware of Loki's presence. Alice looked up as the bed dipped there was all dressed up in an all-black tux she reached up, pulling him down to lay with her. He pulled her closer and put her leg over his hip.

"How was the party?" she whispered, running a hand through his hair he hummed at the feeling.

"Boring uncomfortable, nobody wanted me there. I didn't want me there either. So I uninvited myself and came to join you" Loki gave her a small peck on the lips " You're much more entertaining"

Alice giggled as Loki began to kiss her all over, making sure all exposed skin was loved. They were just enjoying each other in silence as strangers danced to the music below. Both of them would take this over any party.

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[10shi-256]

Why did I make this blog?

I've fallen into a habit that many people are guilty of, and, in fact, we are essentially being socially engineered into adopting this habit as a standard set of behavior. I do feel like there is some intentional mechanism steering us towards this behavior, turning us into socioeconomic and political cattle that can be herded one way or another. This gluttony for aesthetics has bottlenecked our intrinsic creative cycles and, in some cases, killed our empathy in pursuit of feeding that hunger.

Allow me to explain in reverse. I believe that the "creative cycle" is a simple loop of production and consumption. We input (read:consume) raw data. Information. Everything we intake with our senses is stored in some way in our minds. But it's not solidified yet. We know what these things are but we don't know how to feel about it. The concepts of the things we have experienced remain in a plastic form until we output (read: produce) a simulacrum of our experiences as only we can relate them, through our unique perspectives. But something has now changed. The version of that concept as we have output it is different than the fundamental, mutable concept that was in our heads. The concept solidifies into the image that we have produced. This is how we process any information we receive, even on the simplest level. Take, for instance, a flower you've observed on a walk. You see it, and it compels your thoughts. "That's a really pretty flower." The action of putting that thought into words is an act of production, no matter how simple. Why use the word "pretty" in place of "beautiful," "alluring," or "captivating?" Why is it a "really" pretty flower, instead of a "very" pretty flower? or just a "pretty" flower? It is healthy and necessary to say what we mean and mean what we say, therefore we should not shy away from eloquence.

So what happens when this cycle that defines the post-industrial human condition is interrupted? When we become stuck in an endless phase of consumption, we lose our ability to convey how we feel about anything, and thus lose our ability to know and understand the world around us. We essentially lose our souls. But who would do such a horrid thing?! Simply, anyone who wants to sell you something with no risk of you deciding for yourself that this isn't something you want to buy. Someone who wants to guide your thought into a direction that you would have otherwise judged against. They would have us become puppets, sheep, opiated masses, whatever ages-old allegory you're more familiar with.

When we scroll for hours, mindlessly sharing things that pique our interest without using that information for anything productive, we are building that dam more and more solidly. It must be broken. So I would like to begin breaking the dam I've built for myself. I want to surf the internet more slowly. When I come across something that piques my interest, I want to dive in and explore its fullest depths and understand why my interest is piqued, what can I do with my newfound knowledge, and hopefully inspire someone else with the research I've gathered. This will be my space to do so. My greatest hope? To invite someone to a dialogue and compare my perspective with theirs. Sharing and exchanging ideas is how we continue to grow internally. I don't ever want to stop growing.

[source-of-support]

Stuck in a room listening and debating. learning about and having a genuine interest in the outcome of life.

I may not be in that room anymore with the people who were once there in the now symbolic 'room'. if I ever fully was. I remain in a room like it though. the people who I invite in don't all seem to realize that I am in there doing what I am doing. Just inquiring as to the nature of the place. what lay outside it. I've seen bits of it. Like the nature around the world. the sun and the stars and the pictures and nature of the cosmos. the different categories of thought intertwined and grown into my own pitri dish of thought and understanding and up walking around seeing things and growing.

I haven't been alive in a while. I've allowed myself the possibility of opening the door and leaving. I can always come back, and in greater numbers.

Vulnerability is my greatest weakness. that I can't be seen to be interested in another person. because I would in some sense sacrifice a bit of my own autonomy. but wouldn't it be nice. to share that sacrifice. I feel like I don't know how to ask another to make that sacrifice. I go to them. Would I need to sit and not leave a part of me there after I leave? a thought. a sentiment. a gesture. I don't want to demand anything of anyone. Again. being beholden to another is my greatest fear.

I feel especially vulnerable now. because by my own standards I want to be better for the persons who would care about me.

Goku pushed himself. learned the confines of his limits. and others who pushed themselves did the same. but couldn't best him at that game.

If I felt seriously, the weight of my own being would necessitate action of some sort. constant pushing. not shoving. just a probing. and then a plan. and then the rush would begin. to live in the need and want I had left off at after I was excommunicated from the room. To, now, search out love from another person and not to give or sacrifice everything for everyone else. and when a person sees my search and responds to me. in kind. I would learn what I couldn't learn alone. whether that love became or was always romantic or if it never was and was another love.

also in this plan to the betterment of my experience would include forethought. a type of thought that is limited in me if not in general. I can't tell which direction I want or can allow myself to fail in pursuing. monetarily asking people who don't benefit from what I do while asking for money. What failure state is that? to have money from someone who shouldn't have it taken or persuaded out of them. the vulnerable. someone who can pay can be given what I have for free. I need a reason to charge money. at the present moment I need a reason to exchange my already paid for experience with time from someone else's life. Surely a thought pattern can be changed without exchanging money. Success seems to be salient to me. failure of the kind that I can allow myself to entertain isn't always so easy to understand. And I can allow myself the blind dollar arriving in my authorial royalty checks or signing deals. I just don't know what path that would cut me off from. internally screaming as my children or my brother and his children navigate with me having money.

I had a dream. I saw a desert and said I wish I could go there and live there. I was crying in real life as I was waking from the dream. sobbing. I don't know why. I know I love deserts though. I didn't know to this extent.

My first love, a turtle named Squirtle Anne, lived in a desert home next to my home. I saw the mountain and the plain. the sky was blue and the winters were cold and the summers were hot. the brush was true. it was dense and every part of life that could eek life out of that place eek-ed it out. In this dream I was writing a skit after I cried about wanting to be okay with my failed childhood.. I was allowing myself to fail in the dream. and it felt true. truer than my waking life. In failing to find a way to memorize the skit upon waking I thought. The skit doesn't have to be the dream. it can be whatever happens to arrive. and in this before bed memory tube of a snippet of thought. I can allow myself failure and allow myself happiness. allow myself to another and ask another. maybe we can talk. or go jogging eventually. or sit in silence together and enjoy the presence of the other person.

I've been watching teen angsty anime. Don't toy with me miss nagatoro, as well as Tomo chan is a girl.

I'm looking up work place harasment stuff because I enjoy twitch stuff and people I watch do it for money and not for entertainment alone. so I wish to respect them more fully by educating myself on their rights and my responsibilities.

[valorxdrive]

She casually refilled her cup with warm tea, taking a moment to take in the aroma. "It is good that you understand." Her eyes darted down to his callused hands. "You are no mage, not in the truest sense. You favor the sword over wand, melee over distance. A long time ago, there was a name we used for such combatants. Spell Blade, Mystic Swordsman, Battle Mage, just to name a few." She paused just before bringing her cup to her lips. "Though in your case, I suppose you prefer Keybearer?" She stood up now, a staff with an Amethyst jewel embedded materializing in hand. "Dear boy, I can teach you to improve your control. However, be wary. There are consequences to honing your magical craft too far. How old do you believe I am?"

Realizing weakness had been one of his greatest strengths. Taking it for what it is, allowing it to mold new potentials anew, by no means did he intend to let his failure settled in the cosmic Mark of Mastery be all for naught. There were simply too many people fixed within his life to bring under such lines of risks. He gives a soft nod to the words, reflecting understanding as those very hands would be drawn into fists.

"...." Stunned once again, his lips slacken, clearly caught by the sheer foresight invested within this Sorceress. Was this actually her first time in encountering ilk? The possibility scratches vividly as his amazement is scarcely hidden on his face. "You had this all figured out from my first steps. I.." Impressive as that is, he'd feel a touch rude if honesty wasn't given a proper two way street.

In some ways it felt good not to hide it. Allowing his hands to briefly raise as he gives a shrug, he relents the point. "And you'd be right on the Munny. Name's Sora, and what you're meeting here is a full on Keyblade wielder."

"You'd really be willing too!?" It was hard to let that excitement be contained within his body. The heart soars and in turn, that joyous energy finds itself elevating beyond the body, invisible to the common eye but to the adept, reveals a shining, fiery case of goal that practically dances around his figure. A heart like his was in a unique stage of growth, the power it's harnessing holding such abundance and freedom, that it hardly knows what to do with itself.

It's open to being refined.

Maybe this need for direction is what allowed his eagerness to be recklessly free. Ophelia's guidance was made by no means of recommendation or approval of his known circle, only by an adventurer's intuition and the seriousness showcased in her figure. The talk of prices however only adds to that lot of a brighter view as it briefly brings him pause, owlishly blinking towards her. "I.. Uh, isn't that usually a little rude for someone to guess or assume..?"

Chewing briefly at the inside of his mouth, the discomfort is swatted briefly for a generous guess.

"You don't look a day beyond your twenties though, so somewhere around there?"

[perpetual-stories]

Story Structures for your Next WIP

hello, hello. this post will be mostly for my notes. this is something I need in to be reminded of for my business, but it can also be very useful and beneficial for you guys as well.

everything in life has structure and storytelling is no different, so let’s dive right in :)

First off let’s just review what a story structure is :

a story is the backbone of the story, the skeleton if you will. It hold the entire story together.

the structure in which you choose your story will effectively determine how you create drama and depending on the structure you choose it should help you align your story and sequence it with the conflict, climax, and resolution.

1. Freytag's Pyramid

this first story structure i will be talking about was named after 19th century German novelist and playwright.

it is a five point structure that is based off classical Greek tragedies such as Sophocles, Aeschylus and Euripedes.

Freytag's Pyramid structure consists of:

Introduction: the status quo has been established and an inciting incident occurs.

Rise or rising action: the protagonist will search and try to achieve their goal, heightening the stakes,

Climax: the protagonist can no longer go back, the point of no return if you will.

Return or fall: after the climax of the story, tension builds and the story inevitably heads towards...

Catastrophe: the main character has reached their lowest point and their greatest fears have come into fruition.

this structure is used less and less nowadays in modern storytelling mainly due to readers lack of appetite for tragic narratives.

2. The Hero's Journey

the hero's journey is a very well known and popular form of storytelling.

it is very popular in modern stories such as Star Wars, and movies in the MCU.

although the hero's journey was inspired by Joseph Campbell's concept, a Disney executive Christopher Vogler has created a simplified version:

The Ordinary World: The hero's everyday routine and life is established.

The Call of Adventure: the inciting incident.

Refusal of the Call: the hero / protagonist is hesitant or reluctant to take on the challenges.

Meeting the Mentor: the hero meets someone who will help them and prepare them for the dangers ahead.

Crossing the First Threshold: first steps out of the comfort zone are taken.

Tests, Allie, Enemies: new challenges occur, and maybe new friends or enemies.

Approach to the Inmost Cave: hero approaches goal.

The Ordeal: the hero faces their biggest challenge.

Reward (Seizing the Sword): the hero manages to get ahold of what they were after.

The Road Back: they realize that their goal was not the final hurdle, but may have actually caused a bigger problem than before.

Resurrection: a final challenge, testing them on everything they've learned.

Return with the Elixir: after succeeding they return to their old life.

the hero's journey can be applied to any genre of fiction.

3. Three Act Structure:

this structure splits the story into the 'beginning, middle and end' but with in-depth components for each act.

Act 1: Setup:

exposition: the status quo or the ordinary life is established.

inciting incident: an event sets the whole story into motion.

plot point one: the main character decided to take on the challenge head on and she crosses the threshold and the story is now progressing forward.

Act 2: Confrontation:

rising action: the stakes are clearer and the hero has started to become familiar with the new world and begins to encounter enemies, allies and tests.

midpoint: an event that derails the protagonists mission.

plot point two: the hero is tested and fails, and begins to doubt themselves.

Act 3: Resolution:

pre-climax: the hero must chose between acting or failing.

climax: they fights against the antagonist or danger one last time, but will they succeed?

Denouement: loose ends are tied up and the reader discovers the consequences of the climax, and return to ordinary life.

4. Dan Harmon's Story Circle

it surprised me to know the creator of Rick and Morty had their own variation of Campbell's hero's journey.

the benefit of Harmon's approach is that is focuses on the main character's arc.

it makes sense that he has such a successful structure, after all the show has multiple seasons, five or six seasons? i don't know not a fan of the show.

the character is in their comfort zone: also known as the status quo or ordinary life.

they want something: this is a longing and it can be brought forth by an inciting incident.

the character enters and unfamiliar situation: they must take action and do something new to pursue what they want.

adapt to it: of course there are challenges, there is struggle and begin to succeed.

they get what they want: often a false victory.

a heavy price is paid: a realization of what they wanted isn't what they needed.

back to the good old ways: they return to their familiar situation yet with a new truth.

having changed: was it for the better or worse?

i might actually make a operate post going more in depth about dan harmon's story circle.

5. Fichtean Curve:

the fichtean curve places the main character in a series of obstacles in order to achieve their goal.

this structure encourages writers to write a story packed with tension and mini-crises to keep the reader engaged.

The Rising Action

the story must start with an inciting indecent.

then a series of crisis arise.

there are often four crises.

2. The Climax:

3. Falling Action

this type of story telling structure goes very well with flash-back structured story as well as in theatre.

6. Save the Cat Beat Sheet:

this is another variation of a three act structure created by screenwriter Blake Snyder, and is praised widely by champion storytellers.

Structure for Save the Cat is as follows: (the numbers in the brackets are for the number of pages required, assuming you're writing a 110 page screenplay)

Opening Image [1]: The first shot of the film. If you’re starting a novel, this would be an opening paragraph or scene that sucks readers into the world of your story.

Set-up [1-10]. Establishing the ‘ordinary world’ of your protagonist. What does he want? What is he missing out on?

Theme Stated [5]. During the setup, hint at what your story is really about — the truth that your protagonist will discover by the end.

Catalyst [12]. The inciting incident!

Debate [12-25]. The hero refuses the call to adventure. He tries to avoid the conflict before they are forced into action.

Break into Two [25]. The protagonist makes an active choice and the journey begins in earnest.

B Story [30]. A subplot kicks in. Often romantic in nature, the protagonist’s subplot should serve to highlight the theme.

The Promise of the Premise [30-55]. Often called the ‘fun and games’ stage, this is usually a highly entertaining section where the writer delivers the goods. If you promised an exciting detective story, we’d see the detective in action. If you promised a goofy story of people falling in love, let’s go on some charmingly awkward dates.

Midpoint [55]. A plot twist occurs that ups the stakes and makes the hero’s goal harder to achieve — or makes them focus on a new, more important goal.

Bad Guys Close In [55-75]. The tension ratchets up. The hero’s obstacles become greater, his plan falls apart, and he is on the back foot.

All is Lost [75]. The hero hits rock bottom. He loses everything he’s gained so far, and things are looking bleak. The hero is overpowered by the villain; a mentor dies; our lovebirds have an argument and break up.

Dark Night of the Soul [75-85-ish]. Having just lost everything, the hero shambles around the city in a minor-key musical montage before discovering some “new information” that reveals exactly what he needs to do if he wants to take another crack at success. (This new information is often delivered through the B-Story)

Break into Three [85]. Armed with this new information, our protagonist decides to try once more!

Finale [85-110]. The hero confronts the antagonist or whatever the source of the primary conflict is. The truth that eluded him at the start of the story (established in step three and accentuated by the B Story) is now clear, allowing him to resolve their story.

Final Image [110]. A final moment or scene that crystallizes how the character has changed. It’s a reflection, in some way, of the opening image.

(all information regarding the save the cat beat sheet was copy and pasted directly from reedsy!)

7. Seven Point Story Structure:

this structure encourages writers to start with the at the end, with the resolution, and work their way back to the starting point.

this structure is about dramatic changes from beginning to end

The Hook. Draw readers in by explaining the protagonist’s current situation. Their state of being at the beginning of the novel should be in direct contrast to what it will be at the end of the novel.

Plot Point 1. Whether it’s a person, an idea, an inciting incident, or something else — there should be a "Call to Adventure" of sorts that sets the narrative and character development in motion.

Pinch Point 1. Things can’t be all sunshine and roses for your protagonist. Something should go wrong here that applies pressure to the main character, forcing them to step up and solve the problem.

Midpoint. A “Turning Point” wherein the main character changes from a passive force to an active force in the story. Whatever the narrative’s main conflict is, the protagonist decides to start meeting it head-on.

Pinch Point 2. The second pinch point involves another blow to the protagonist — things go even more awry than they did during the first pinch point. This might involve the passing of a mentor, the failure of a plan, the reveal of a traitor, etc.

Plot Point 2. After the calamity of Pinch Point 2, the protagonist learns that they’ve actually had the key to solving the conflict the whole time.

Resolution. The story’s primary conflict is resolved — and the character goes through the final bit of development necessary to transform them from who they were at the start of the novel.

(all information regarding the seven point story structure was copy and pasted directly from reedsy!)

i decided to fit all of them in one post instead of making it a two part post.

i hope you all enjoy this post and feel free to comment or reblog which structure you use the most, or if you have your own you prefer to use! please share with me!

if you find this useful feel free to reblog on instagram and tag me at perpetualstories

Follow my tumblr and instagram for more writing and grammar tips and more!

[depresseddistraughtdisillusioned]

If You Can't Have the Job You Love, Love the Job You Have?

Following our dreams, finding our passions, and chasing our purpose has left a lot of us bereft, directionless, adrift, and missing everything on the list.

Perhaps life should be defined as "Learning to cope with disappointment."

So I began to wonder, "What if I devoted myself to being good at my job? What opportunities might I find there? Since I've been without direction for years, meandering, why not grab whatever anchor is there and see where it leads me?"

I've never learned much about storytelling nor plot arcs, nor character development. I barely pay attention to all my grammarizing or syntacticality.

Incidentally, syntax is among my favorite words.

What if I really started throwing myself into it? Started taking more shifts for more money, just to expedite moving. It might not be the greatest thrill, but a little workaholism might not be the worst thing to indulge in right now.

I'm just concerned about what that does to my psyche.

It's hard to know exactly where to focus your attention. Sometimes you're better off seeking something to pursue, rather than something to avoid. For instance, becoming really involved in exercise could be the same goal as not smoking pot. If your goal is not to smoke, you're moving away from something. That can be more difficult, because you're still focused on the activity. Focusing on not doing it is not that different from focusing on doing it.

The reason for this is neurological. In a very rudimentary sense, your brain sends two signals when you tell yourself not to do something. The first signal says "do the thing." The second signal negates the first one, sending a "do not do the thing." When most people stand near a ledge they will get this sensation. You will likely get a wild thought about jumping off the edge. This can happen if you are a perfectly happy person who is neither a thrill seeker nor suicidal. Many people have this happen to them.

The reason is the brain is thinking about jumping off the ledge, and then saying "but actually, don't do that."

It's very similar to the mental trick "don't think of an elephant," which forces someone to immediately think of an elephant, because they do that in order to tell themselves not to think about it.

What this means for quitting an addiction is that if you're focused on stopping, you're still reactivating the part of your brain that thinks about engaging in the addiction.

This is why many people then focus on recovery, as their replacement. That is thinking about healing from the addiction and engaging in life again, rather than simply stopping. It also provides an outlet for emotionally clearing out the difficult thoughts and feelings that led to engaging in the addiction in the first place.

This was about learning to love your job, huh?

If you focus on making your job better, or becoming more adept at your job, it can become your passion, and take on purpose for you. You can start to see how doing it allows you to impact the world in some way. Learning more about it, you'll see even being a good cashier is something that can work wonders for you. That's about reading people, understanding shoppers, seeing how a business operates from within. Seeing where there is potential to learn and grow.

Otherwise, I'm focused on being resentful and thinking they are wrong and that I'm a bitch who isn't standing up for myself. Actually, I could find a better way to interact with my editor.

See, pot mellows me out enough to think of these things. It's a crutch, but it's not all bad. Minus the paranoia part.

But, I'm going to shift my mentality to trying to be better at my job. I've actually been listening to my editor, and just trying to learn to play the game they want. Which is a good start. It wouldn't hurt to voice my opinion in a way that is kind and approachable. There's no need to silently stuff it.

Being a better writer, better marketer, and learning more about the operations of a bigger site isn't a bad education. So, I'll play the game and see how they do things 'round these parts.

The scientific mindset is a powerful one to acquire. If everything is an experiment to see the outcome, your ego doesn't get involved as easily. You merely observe the outcome without feeling like you handled it badly or are weak, stupid, or wrong for your thoughts.

If you feel like something dark and bloody, watch the Hannibal TV Series. I mention that because Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal is always watching people, gauging their reaction. He is never really involved with their feelings. He is merely observing them and how they respond to the grim and dour circumstances. The show itself fades after about the second season, if not a bit before, but the early parts are such masterworks that it's really worth watching. That's from a lifelong lover of the original "Silence of the Lambs" film, the whole Thomas Harris series of books, though also a harsh critic of the "Hannibal" book itself. I barely bothered with "Hannibal Rising" because I felt like Harris was going back to a well that worked, but his inspiration had fled.

Anyhow, Mikkelsen's performance is a great example of someone who treats everything like an experiment. Constantly removed, and making little mental notes of how you act, what you say, how the strain shows. Weighing your heart against a feather.

[mistystarshine]

i think the after china au would be more interesting. it seems like there'd have to be so much changing around with the characters and their core traits in order for the role-swap to work, and im a fan of the idea of soul-sick angel not just abandoning his weird vampire family

I'm sorry that this is so late! I had to wait for muse to strike. (Muse struck after I finished a tour if Stonehenge for study abroad and was waiting for my classmates to finish.) At long last, here are my rough thoughts for how this au would go! 

It starts during the Boxer Rebellion. Well, no. It started the second Angelus got his soul back, but it changes during the Boxer Rebellion. In the direct cause-and-effect sense, everything happens because the baby incident doesn't, thus allowing Angelus to linger with the others for a little while longer. On an emotional level, it all happens because, in the midst of his guilt and despair and desperate attempts to repress them, Angelus feels a sense of responsibility. Where he once looked at Drusilla and felt pride, there is now a stabbing guilt that gets harder to ignore with each passing day. Then there is Spike. Spike, now a proven slayer killer who Angelus had beaten the goodness out of in an attempt to turn into something like himself. 

As time drags on and he dodges killing and Darla grows more suspicious, aggressive, desperate for him to return to his former self, he knows that he cannot stay. It is that sense of responsibility that stops him from having one last fight with Darla and mournfully disappearing into the night. What will happen to Spike and Drusilla if he leaves? With that slayer's death, they have gone from two of the worst things he's ever done to a genuine threat to the world. They are doomed to get worse if he leaves them to continue down the path he set them on. But because they are two of his greatest victims (and there are and will be times when he struggles to acknowledge Spike as a victim, but in this moment, it is clear), he can't bring himself to kill them. So where does that leave him? 

When Angelus decides to ask Spike and Drusilla to come with him, he isn't very hopeful. Maybe they respected and feared him before, but they must have sensed the change in him, even as he drowned in denial and struggled to repress it. They won't abandon Darla for him. 

Except… They do. He doesn't understand it, but they do. 

(There really isn't much to understand. Drusilla adores him. She's scared by the soul and the prospect of him becoming something other than the monster that made her, the monster she knows, but she's even more scared of him leaving her completely. And Spike? Spike always looked to Angelus before Darla. She's family, yeah, but after Drusilla, his true loyalty has always been to him. He's starting to see through the cracks in his facade and is irritated that Angelus would break like that, but he isn't going to abandon him when he very clearly needs him.)

In other circumstances, Angelus would have separated from the Fanged Four and broken down completely. He would have retreated to the sewers and lived a miserable existence until the powers that be sent a messenger to him with a mission. That isn't an option here. He can't keep pretending that everything's fine and he's the same anymore, but has to at least try to hold himself together for Spike and Drusilla. Especially if he wants them to try to undo even an iota of the damage that he's done. So he does. He tries. 

Trying isn't always enough. The fact of the matter is that Angelus is still fairly freshly ensouled and not in a good state. Even if cutting Spike and Drusilla off from killing cold turkey weren't a hopeless battle, he doesn't have the energy right now. So he starts small, he tells them that he isn't willing to kill anymore and refuses the victims that Spike tries to drag to him. This results in arguments with Spike and miserable wailing from Drusilla, but eventually, they accept it. 

(When Angelus starts dropping hints that they shouldn't be killing either, Spike ignores them. He hears them though. Hears them and doesn't have any fucking clue how to process it outside of anger and insult, both of which he pushes down because Angelus clearly isn't right right now. But come on, really? Spike is a killer, and Angelus is the one who molded him into one. What right does he have to ask him to go back to being the miserable little poet he once was? How dare he even consider asking that of Dru, who may not be capable of such a change even if she tried with every fiber of her beautiful being, so mistakenly desperate to please him? Spike really might rip his head off if he weren't such a miserable sod.)

Angelus is a heavy name, a dark name, a name stained with blood. He told himself that it still fit him when he was still with Darla. It doesn't. It hurts a little more every time he hears it. Eventually, he tells Spike and Drusilla to call him Angel. Both of them resist at first, Drusilla heartbroken, Spike with anger and mockery. Both of them give in eventually. 

(This is when Spike, tired and resigned beneath his fire, realizes that this isn't temporary. Angelus - Angel - is different now, and he isn't ever going back. Drusilla already knew. She still sobs into his chest all day when Angel changes his name.)

(Angel is still barely more than a shell of his former self, holding onto his sanity by threads. Part of Spike, the part that resents the madness that he drove Drusilla into and everything that he did to him, finds it vindicating. The rest of him just wants it to stop. Angel isn't Drusilla, of course - he won't move mountains and swim across oceans for him like he would her. But he does acknowledge that Angel gets worse every time he finds out about him or Dru killing someone. Now, Spike isn't about to reform for the bastard, but he does improvise a bit. He gets more selective about who he kills, going for the people that society would be better off without, and coaxes Dru to do the same. He makes sure that Angel knows about it, but doesn't say that it's for him, because it isn't. It isn't. Spike's life is easier when his grandsire isn't totally consumed by self-pity or loathing or whatever else fuels his brooding. This is totally self-serving.)

The change in Spike and Drusilla's hunting habits isn't what leads Angel to the realization, nor is it one of any number of small gestures over the next few years. It just hits him out of the blue one day, when he's feeling… Not like his old self (never like his old self), but more clarity than usual. Spike is trying to look out for him. He's not treating him like Drusilla, no, but he has been slipping into the role of caretaker for him as well. And Angel's been letting it happen. His pride has taken more than a few beatings by this point, but this is when he realizes that he needs to pull himself together and start trying harder. Soul or no soul, he'll be damned if he's going to rescind his leadership and leave Spike in charge. 

It goes… dubiously. Despite his initial indignation and outrage, Angel recognizes that Spike and Drusilla have been making some degree of progress, so he doesn't push too hard. Spike doesn't like that. He quite likes the changed dynamics they'd been falling into. (Kind of. He'd be happy if Angel wasn't stewing constantly, but now that he's had a taste of what it's like not to have Angelus breathing down his neck, he doesn't want to go back. And he doesn't completely trust that Angel won't go back.) The conflict comes to a head when Angel insists that Spike and Drusilla stop hunting humans completely. While Spike eventually relents, he also makes it clear that he won't be giving another inch. And that… is that. It's all Angel can manage, truly. He may have been able to push himself to improve somewhat, but he still has notable bad days. Spike doesn't.

(Spike knows that. More importantly, he knows that Angelus never would have outright told him to stop killing humans unless it was some sort of sadistic power play. This certainly wasn't. It's part of the reason he agrees, the reassurance that even if Angel is being a pest again, he isn't going back. Which is kind of alarming. He remembers how upset he was when he realized that Angel would never be Angelus again and doesn't know when he stopped wishing they could go back, but he stopped. It almost makes him think deeper about why he was willing to stop killing. Then he decides not to think very deeply about it at all.)

(Getting Drusilla to stop killing is easier than anticipated. She knew that it was coming. The boys forget how much she knows. It might have hurt if it was harsh or sharp or sudden, but it wasn't. It was soft and gentle and subtle, from all people to bad people to no people at all. Or close to it. She slips up sometimes, when the song is too strong and the heartbeats call and she forgets that what will be has come to cross, but it isn't often. Spike helps her make sure that Angel doesn't know, that it doesn't break him into bits, and gradually, she gets better at remembering.) 

It isn't easy; it was never going to be easy. But they manage. Eventually, Angel and Spike slip into something along the lines of a partnership. It's new and unusual for both of them, but possibly the only way to make this work. Spike learns not to make a fuss about it when Angel's composure slips and he has to take charge for a few days. Angel learns to accept that it happens at all. 

Time passes. Every day is bad in some way, but gradually, painfully, Angel's worst days grow to be less. And Spike… Spike grows more restless. 

They hear word of a slayer in New York. Spike becomes interested, the same look of obsession that appeared when he first learned about them. Drusilla declares that their fates are bound. And Angel is terrified that everything is about to be for nothing.

Angel suggests that Spike could try helping the slayer. He's clearly been itching for a fight - surely trying to help the chosen one would be as much of a challenge as killing her. He sounds casual when he suggests it. Truthfully, he's desperate, terrified, and not thinking straight at all. There are a million reasons why Spike approaching the slayer as an ally are a horrible idea, but they don't occur to him until Spike has already started considering it. So he backtracks. He offers alternatives while Drusilla laughs. It doesn't matter - Spike knows what he wants to do now, and he's going to do it even if it gets him killed. 

(Spike doesn't know what he wants to do. He's gone years without killing, but he's still considering challenging the slayer to a death match when he sets off for New York. Then he meets Nikki Wood and finds someone who he wouldn't mind fighting alongside. He also sees that Angel is right. A slayer has danger coming at her from every angle, which means it'll be the fight of his life. It takes a while to convince her, but eventually, he finds himself with a fighting partner. He still visits Angel and Dru regularly and tries not to think too heavily about the implications of him leaving them alone for long periods of time. That he trusts Angel to at least try to look after her properly. That he trusts him not to steal her.)

Angel is worried about Spike, he can't even pretend that he's not. But he also can't bring himself to face the slayer. Her watcher might very well identify him, and… it's not the fight he fears. He hasn't seriously considered suicide in a while now, but if the slayer killed him, he know he'd deserve it. It's the explanation. It's the notion of finding himself face to face with this force for good and contend with his own existence. Perhaps it's cowardly, but when faced with this prospect, he ends up keeping his distance. Instead, he spends the time when Spike is away focused on Drusilla. He tries to improve her mental health. He fails; of course he fails. It's why he turned her when he did. Vampires are static creatures in a way that humans are not. When he turned her while caught in the throes of madness, he trapped her there for the rest of her undead life. Where a human might be able to heal, she is simply stuck. He tries anyway, beating herself against the unyielding wall. 

(Angel does better than he thinks he does. Drusilla's head still spins with fairies and pixies and fear and confusion and always - probably - maybe? - will, but it helps that he's there at all. He doesn't see what Drusilla sees. Doesn't know that this is the beginning of the end for her and William, doesn't know that he's started down a road that leads to summer and light. She doesn't want to lose him. It hurts. It would hurt more without Angel there. So even as he tortures himself trying to fix what he did such a perfect job of breaking, Drusilla tries to be good. Doesn't fuss, doesn't make a mess, doesn't tell him that he couldn't have completely destroyed her heart, because she can feel it break-break-breaking.)

One day, Spike returns with a black leather duster on his back and tells them that Nikki Wood is dead. Angel would ask if he killed her, but the despair wafting off him stops the words from leaving his mouth. For the first time, he allows himself to truly believe that one of the monsters he created might not truly be beyond repair. He wishes that it hadn't come at quite a cost. 

It's over a year before Spike tells him what happened. It happens out of the blue, on a night where Drusilla is quiet and Angel is drifting somewhere between almost alright and certainly not. He says that Nikki had been possessed by a demon with aspirations of ending the world. Try as they might, they weren't able to get it out of her. In the end, Spike ended up killing her himself. Spike looks Angel in the eyes, challenging, and asks if he's going to kill him now that he has a second slayer under his belt. Angel only apologizes. 

(What Spike doesn't stay is that he'd wanted to stay. He had gotten to know Nikki's son while he worked with her and grew to care for him deeply. With her gone, he'd wanted to help care for him. Her watcher turned him away, saying that for all he had been a valuable ally, Robin could not be trusted with a vampire.)

Spike declares that he never wants to get anywhere near a slayer again. Angel accepts it with relief. 

And then Sunnydale happens.

So! There are chunks that can be expanded upon and there's definitely more that comes after this, so if anyone's interested, let me know and I could be persuaded to continue. Here's where I note that there probably would be Bangel during the time frame of seasons 1-3, but would also probably end up being Spuffy and Cangel in the end. 

[a-master-procrastinator]

Long ass post about the Eternal family not being a copy-paste from ATLA (aka I like the memes but my god can you please stop)

Because some people truly think that Vaylin is off-brand Azula, Arcann is Zuko and so on.

It's. Called. A. Trope. (I mean how often do we come across abusive manipulative fathers in media? Mothers who couldn't much to change anything? Children, desperately looking for their parent's approval no matter what?)

Of course, you have to consider the fact that the writing of ATLA is simply better than of KotFE/ET, so this might have been one of the reasons why people say that.

Spoilers for Avatar: The Last Airbender, Knights of the Fallen Empire and Knights of the Eternal Throne expansions!

Okay, so here's my unprofessional, maybe biased, not super deep take.

(not going to mention that all of them are members of royal, ruling family, kinda obvious)

What roles do they play in their stories? Well, both Valkorion and Ozai are main antagonists, but their presence throughout the story is very different. Ozai is rarely shown in first two seasons, we don't even see his face until season 3. He doesn't have a direct connection to the protagonist, they only meet at the very end of the show, and Ozai's role is to pose a threat to the world, while Aang's is to save it. Valkorion, on the other hand, is constantly on the screen, interacting with the main character, challenging their viewpoint and influencing them directly. His end goal is similar to Ozai's (destroy everything and be the only ruler of the his nation), but with one major difference - he's trapped in Outlander's mind, so to achieve his goal Valkorion attempts to take control of the main character. Their interactions play important role in the story, and we spend a lot of time with Valkorion.

In addition to that, their relationship with children are also not exactly the same. It seems like Azula is Ozai's favorite and Zuko is a failure in his eyes until he meets his expectations, and the same goes with Vaylin, Arcann and Valkorion, right? Well, partially. Indeed, Valkorion and Ozai's treat their sons in similar ways (are disappointed in them until they meet their expectation by doing something that goes against their morals), but when it comes to Vaylin and Azula, it's not that easy. See, Valkorion claims that Vaylin was always his favorite creation (even though we know it's actually his empire), and he certainly seems to take pride in her potential in the Force. But her power is the very reason he's afraid of his own daughter, and in this fear Valkorion literally locks Vaylin away and allows to put her through physical and mental torture just to make sure she won't become a threat, won't overpower him. Maybe he thought of her better than of Arcann, but she wasn't his favored child for sure. I don't want to say that Azula hasn't experienced abuse from Ozai, but for the most part he clearly favored her over Zuko. He has never shown fear of Azula's power and abilities (or at least I haven't noticed), quite the opposite - allowed her to do a lot, as long as she brings results.

I could also mention their slightly different characterization (mostly that we get more characterization of Valkorion, get to learn his motivations, views, philosophy and all that, also he's portrayed as more nuanced, even if he not really is) and role in their respective governments (ozai is one of many Fire Lords and arguably not the greatest, while Valkorion is a god to citizens of Zakuul, their only Immortal Emperor), but those are details, and I think you get the point.

What's similar: role of the main antagonist, manipulative and abusive father, goal of destruction of everything that isn't their nation/empire, relationship with disgraced son.

What's different: presence in the overall narrative, relationship with the main character, relationship with daughter, role in their societies.

Senya and Ursa are even less similar. Yes, they both are mothers who love their children, but have to leave them, but these are probably the only things they have in common. Just as with Ozai and Valkorion's presence throughout the story, Ursa is only shown in flashbacks (for obvious reasons), and Senya is one of major characters in KotFE and (a bit less major) in KotET. Ursa leaves because she has to kill Azulon in order to save Zuko, and later isn't present in the story (I'm aware that her fate is told in comics, but we aren't talking about it). Senya leaves because when she tries to take children with her, they refuse, and she understands that she can't force them to, nor she can help them to break free from Valkorion's manipulations. For a long time she's absent from Arcann ad Vaylin's lives, but at the time of game events she attempts to save her children and stop the madness and destruction they've caused, and it isn't a small part of the story.

I also want to add that their relationship with Ozai and Valkorion are also different, but can't say much about Ursa. I heard that she didn't choose this marriage and suffered emotional (and maybe physical???) abuse from Ozai. I can say with confidence, though, that Senya genuinely loved Valkorion, and strangely enough, he seems to at very least respect her. But, of course, this wasn't the best marriage either.

Plus, we see more of Senya's relationship with Vaylin than Arcann or Thexan, but with Ursa we see her more with Zuko than Azula. Just a detail to remember.

(also Senya is simply a better character but that besides the point, moving on. in this house we stand Senya)

What's similar: role of loving and caring mother, abandoning their family at some point.

What's different: presence in the overall narrative, relationship with husband, characterization in general.

Boy, where do I even begin. Vaylin and Azula are similar in that they are both extremely powerful (one is firebending prodigy, the other is potentially stronger than Valkorion), both are cruel "craaaaazy" (i hate that cliché), both are younger sisters, have serious mother issues (seemingly more so than father issues), both go through betrayal of people they could always rely on, which eventually leads to their downfall. But when I took a look at their personal arcs, it became clear that they aren't the same (unfortunately, Vaylin's arc is very rushed and underdeveloped, but we'll have to go with what we have and my personal view, sorry).

There's a really good video about writing corruption and madness, and I'm going to base my thoughts on it. To summarise it: a good corruption arc should have 4 components:

- the character has a specific goal (or a goal and subgoals);

- in pursuit of said goal they become the cause of a significant event that brings serious consequences;

- as the result of these consequences, character abandons their morals, ideals or a code in pursuit of goal;

- character either will not achieve their goal or will succeed, but it won't be enough to satisfy them.

And then the author brings Azula's arc as one of the best examples of compelling story of corruption (so basically, she represents it perfectly). In short, Azula's main goals are perfection and control, and subgoals help achieve the main ones. In pursuit of these goals, Azula causes Mai and Ty Lee to betray her (by pushing them too far to do something they wouldn't do), which then causes her to become paranoid, which makes her to attempt controlling everything and everyone around her, *breathes* which makes her lose control over herself and ....

Now, I thought if Vaylin's arc could fit into a corruption one, and next part will be based a lot on my assumptions and personal view of her character (plus rushed writing doesn't help), but I think yes (or at least mostly). The difference is in goals, ideals and details.

While the story strongly makes us think that Vaylin's goal is freedom (or control over her life and everything around her) or power and destruction, I think it's actually self-determination (which was said by Tenebrae in 6.2) and feeling safe. Let me explain (and here I thought this would be a short comparison). Sure, when Valkorion caged Vaylin on Nathema, he took choices and control over her life from his daughter. But let's not forget whom Vaylin blames for this (even more than Valkorion): her own mother, and I think this details tell us that the most important thing that Vaylin lost on Nathema is feeling safe. Then, after Arcann brought her home, I assume Vaylin still didn't feel safe enough under Valkorion's rule, still too afraid that he'd simply send her back to that hellish place.

It's when Valkorion is struck down Vaylin finally has a feeling of personal safety, even if she isn't the one on the throne. Why? Because back on Nathema there were two people who haven't turned on her - Arcann and Thexan (yes, this is also a huge assumption, bc the game states that only Thexan visited her, but it doesn't make much sense).

I've always noticed (and I'm not alone in this) that her behavior in Fallen Empire is different from the way she acted in Eternal Throne. Most likely bc of rushed writing, but I see a character driven reason here. In first of these expansions, Vaylin is the second person in power on Zakuul, and with Arcann being in charge, person she can trust more than any other living being, she feels safe - she can test her power, and now Valkorion won't prevent it, she can do pretty much everything she wishes, and the most Arcann will do about this is mildly complain (without blaming her). Really would be nice if we got to see any normal hobbies of Vaylin (like wasn't there something about books or art?), but I digress. She might have some questions about Arcann's tactics, but they get along just fine. The important thing to note is Vaylin not seeking to hunt the Outlander personally, to rule or conquer the rest of the galaxy, or trying to achieve absolute freedom or power. She's kinda there.

This, however, changes when Arcann doesn't allow Vaylin to kill Senya. Their relationship was getting somewhat worse towards the end of KotFE, but this is a turning event Vaylin caused by attempting to strike her mother. By saving the person Vaylin blames for all the trauma from sending her to Nathema, Arcann threatened her feeling of safety. And now Vaylin starts to believing that to achieve safety she now needs to kill people who hurt her (that's why she's so determined to find Senya and Arcann), take the throne and hunt down Outlander (she was manipulated by SCORPIO to these subgoals).

(The following is the weakest, I'll admit, but I hope I can at least express what I see). So, in trying to achieve goals she didn't want before Vaylin loses in self-determination, being either driven by overwhelming anger or manipulated by others (SCORPIO or Commander on Odessen), desperately trying to accomplish anything, or even goes against her morals (like by erasing GEMINI's free will protocols, when earlier she agreed that freedom to choose is important; or breaking the deal on Odessen). All of these result in her downfall.

But even this isn't the end. The key difference between arcs of Azula Vaylin lies in it's resolution, or that Vaylin have a chance to overcome corruption in the main narrative (and Azula doesn't. again, not including comics here, sorry). After death, Vaylin is again controlled by Valkorion in Outlander's mind. First time physically (she can't resist it), second time mentally. This is where Vaylin has to choose - kill brother who betrayed her and Commander who killed her, or go against Valkorion, person responsible for almost all of her pain and trauma. She has t choose by herself, and I think it's a good start.

Now, before 6.2 we all thought Vaylin was dead for good, but that story update hinted at possibility of her coming back to life. What I like to think is that now that she dealt with people responsible for her trauma (helped defeat Valkorion and actually for once listened to Senya), Vaylin can now have a different life, finding herself with support of someone she doesn't hold a grudge against and who treats her well (Satele, I mean).

I'm so sorry for going into details, but I needed this long explanation to present the point (and I suck at explanations). As said before, this is my version of her arc, and most likely wrong interpretation, but even with personal freedom of choice, Vaylin character differs from Azula a lot.

Need I mention that Vaylin relationship with Arcann and Valkorion are drastically different from those between Azula, Zuko and Ozai?

(Also a little detail - with royal family of Fire Nation, Azula is the golden child, while with Tiralls it's actually Thexan, not Vaylin).

What's similar: role of extremely powerful, emotionally damaged daughter with little to no regard towards others, close people betraying them, resulting in their downfall.

What's different: characterization, role in the narrative, relationship with father and brother.

Arcann and Zuko is the most difficult part, but I still believe that calling Arcann just a cheap copy of Zuko is incorrect.

So, they fall into role of less successful son, always getting disapproval from father, being in shadow of more talented sibling, both obsessed with capturing the main character but ending up helping them end the war after going through a redemption arc with help of caring family member. Even both have scars on left side of face. Yeah, seems similar. I still think they are different characters.

Let's start with their relationships with family. In Valkorion section I said that his attitude towards Arcann is similar to that of Ozai towards Zuko, so not going to spend too much time here. However, there's slight difference - Zuko didn't kill his father even he had a perfect opportunity (bc it wasn't his goal), Arcann did (bc it was one of his goals), which says something about their characterizations.

Zuko and Ursa were shown to have a good mother-son relationship, and it played a role in Zuko's character. With Arcann and Senya, we don't really know (not much was shown in expansions). We know Arcann didn't hate his mother, but possibly didn't have warm memories of her either. The reason is most likely, like Senya said, her children wanted nothing to do with her (which is a bit untrue about Vaylin, but okay) and leaned more towards Valkorion. We need to remember that on Zakuul Valkorion isn't just one of many great leaders, he's the greatest, and seen as a god by most citizens, so safe to assume the same would apply to his children as well.

Zuko and Azula's siblingship (i'm out of words) is a bit similar to Arcann and Vaylin's in way of brother knowing that his sister isn't good, but still caring about them (even if not showing). At least it's what I saw. What's different is how Azula treats Zuko, compared to how Vaylin treats Arcann. I think Azula showed compassion or concern for Zuko maybe twice, but I'm not entirely convinced that it was 100% sincere. Vaylin, on the other hand, seems to trust and care about Arcann (with bits of sass and questioning his life choices), and switching to complete opposite after him saving Senya. Also, I don't she ever called Arcann a failure in their father's eyes.

Now I want to say that their roles in stories aren't the same either. Sure, both are introduced to us as antagonists, but in reality, Zuko was never a true antagonist (we get to learn this somewhere mid-season 1), when Arcann remains the main antagonist for whole of KotFE. Zuko didn't start a war and didn't participate in conquest of other nations too much, his main goal was to capture the Avatar so to restore his honor (and deserve his father's forgiveness). Honestly, I think it's safe to say the Zuko is one of two main protagonists of ATLA. Why does Arcann want to capture the Outlander? Solely because his father's spirit still lives inside this person's mind, and the best solution to keep Valkorion away from the galaxy is not letting the Outlander free (hence the carbonite freezing). And Arcann doesn't want or need Valkorion's forgiveness when he attempts to kill him (or kills him, depending on your choice. anyway, his action directly leads to Valkorion's "death"). And right after that he becomes a ruler of Zakuul and begins the conquest of Republic, Sith Empire and everything he can reach (the reasoning behind this is still unclear to me though; maybe because he was raised with ruling Zakuul in mind and he didn't anything else, idk). Point is, he's responsible for war and main's character imprisonment, which makes him the main antagonist of KotFE. They have it the opposite ways - Zuko starts as disgraced prince, supported by a little group of people, and in the end he's recognized and appreciated by his nation, and Arcann starts as respected by his empire, later becoming less and less loved, until some groups start rebelling his rule, and in the end he doesn't get to rule Zakuul again.

This leads me to their morals. See, Zuko didn't have the worst morals in Fire Nation, even more, he expressed care for loyals soldiers of his nation before getting punished by Ozai. During first season (and about a half of second one) his views on other nations are what he was taught before. However, these views are challenged by travelling in Earth Kingdom, witnessing people suffering from war Fire Nation started and hating its people (you already know all of this), and with this he comes through final stage of redemption when he's back home. Unfortunately, Arcann doesn't go through this, and he's shown to be more ruthless.

Alright, when it comes to their redemption arcs, well let's say they are different (both in quality and the way they go through it), I'm just a bit tired of long explanations at this point. Zuko's arc is one of the best ever put on television, and Arcann's... well, it definitely has potential, but is criminally underdeveloped (there are other people who will explain it better than I ever could).

What's similar: role of disgraced son, living in shadow of their sibling, serious injuries on the left side of face (though with different meanings), obsession with capturing the main character, having a redemption arc.

What's different: role in the narrative, role in their society, characterization, relationship with sister and mother, different end goals (before redemption), paths to redemption.

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: Invincible

Don't like throwing this word around, but is it wrong to say that this series is fresh? Refreshing to see a superhero series, a good one, that isn't DC or Marvel for once. Invincible is a series that seemed like no big deal at first, but this season alone has just hit differently with me in the best way. Keep in mind that I have never read Invincible, kinda wasn't aware of it for most my life, but this actually convinced me and more because this series is ballin'. Why and how is both simple and not.

If there is any downside to this, it's the romance.

Now I like Amber, apparently has the most change in character here than in the comics, but it feels too apparent that they're trying to set up Mark and Eve. Even when I can't hate the characters involved, not even Rex Splode, nothing about what's happening really had me as invested. Hell, I'm more concerned with Mark doing good for himself than I am with him trying to be in a relationship, and they did me no favors. But that is just a teaspoon to this pitcher of what I wanna say is an actual extraordinary show.

One thing that stands out the most to me about this series upon everything else is how despite being brutal and gory at times, it never feels like they overdo things. People die, but it's played straight and you're more surprised, and relieved, for whoever makes it. It does have the unfortunate downside that regular citizens basically don't have a say in getting stuck in the crossfire, no precautions or a sense that they care about the random attacks that can kill them easily. Maybe I'm just thinking of what One Punch Man does with its world, but in the least it gives our big bad of this season a nuanced point. Plus it feels natural, like the brutality and blood comes from someone putting up a genuine fight, or in Omni-Man's case show how effortlessly powerful he can be, as oppose to giving us gore/blood for shock value or to take the piss out of everything. Invincible gets his shit kicked in multiple times, but that makes his fights, and potential wins, feel more earned. Mark doesn't become the best super immediately, and you grasp that he's sincere when push comes to shove, willing to fight for his life and others. Same goes with the others, minimal as they are in appearance this season.

It's especially what makes Omni-Man such a well-faceted bastard

Another thing, and this what impressed me the most, is that it's the first cartoon I've ever known that has 40 minute episodes and they feel rewarding. From the action to the conversations, it never felt like they were wasting time. They certainly set up things for another time, but it overall allows every subplot thread to get enough of a spotlight while entertaining you well with the focal point of an episode. They allow things to slow down, but give you plenty popping off moments to make every episode move well. One could say this has some...

Overall, Invincible is a sincere superhero series. Its up there with Megamind and Kick-Ass as a show that's as much a subversive series as it is one that revels in its identity. It has its serious moments, its brutal moments, but matter-of-factly enjoys the colorful costumes, the differing powers and aliens, the soundtrack that tells us exactly what it’s doing, and the campy nature of it all. The passion in the execution is front and center; it never felt like it wanted to play you for being invested.

If season 2 onward carries the same energy and heart as the first, I'll gladly call this one of the greatest shows of the 2020s. Invincible just does a lot right, simple as it is, and I can see why the comic was popular at the time. Even when, from what I've read, they make some liberal changes to the story and characters it's a well-executed adaptation. I love that Kirkman himself is a head of this series which tells me that it's truly getting the direction it needs. There can be moments hard to stomach but Invincible is a series that knows what it wanted to do and did it more than well.

5 Out Of 5. A Superb Series for the Newly Novel Hero

[jaedreaminn]

Final Part

Characters: Taeyong, Ten, Mark, Jeno, Heachan.

Theme: Family bonding, humour, crack, fluff,angst, happy ending.

Parings: «mentioned» someone x Haechan, someone x Ten.

Words: 2.3k

~~~

"You're the first one here" Ten smiled at Jeno who had just walked into the bar.

"I've always been on time and you know that" Jeno smiled sliding into the booth, sitting next to Ten.

"God knows who you got that good habit from because no one in our family is on time unless it's absolutely necessary" Ten teased and Jeno's eyes disappeared into half moons. "And from what I remember you were always late to school."

"I wasn't late hyung I skipped school" Jeno deadpanned and Ten cringed, "Yea the Jeno delinquent phase was definitely.... interesting"

"Ahh I miss those times because atleast my friends-" "Can you even call those people friends?" Ten interrupted and Jeno glared at him, so he simply mouthed an apology and went back to sipping his water as Jeno continued to speak, "Atleast my friends then were scared of me so they never said anything. Now if I'm late I have to deal with an angry Renjun and his wrath is the scariest thing on this planet." Ten cringed silently at the mention of the smaller boy as he remembered experiencing Renjuns anger first hand and it wasn't pretty.

"Thank God for that though, otherwise I would be sitting here alone on my bachelor party"

"True that" Jeno said lifting his glass of water and clicking it with Tens glass.

"How boring, you guys are only drinking water" Donghyuck said as a form of greeting sliding into the booth, sitting on the other side of Ten.

"I'm waiting for everyone to arrive before ordering the food and drinks" Ten said rolling his eyes and then flicked Donghyucks arm, "And I wouldn't have to wait so long if you were on time"

"Ow!" Donghyuck whined rubbing his arm as Jeno chuckled.

"So how are things going for the two of you" Jeno asked eyes grinning mischievously as Donghyuck sighed and dreamy sigh, "Better, I think I want to make it official soon"

"About time!" came Taeyongs voice and all three of them looked up to see him walking towards the table.

"How did you even hear what Hyuck was saying from so far away" Jeno asked and Ten chuckled when Taeyongs face scrunched up in judgment as he took of his coat, "I raised you people, I just know"

"That doesn't make sense" Haechan frowned and Taeyong glared at him as he folded his coat and sat down.

"I've been raising you since I was thirteen I would be damned if you doubted my super hearing"

"Fine fine Whatever you say" Haechan lifted his hands up in surrender and Taeyong grinned scanning the table, "Where's Mark?"

"He isn't here yet" Ten said and Taeyong frowned.

"You're telling me these two have been here before Mark?" Taeyong asked pointing at the two youngest at the table earning protests from both.

"Yep" Ten said popping the 'p'.

"But dont worry he should be here soon" He added, reassuring Taeyong.

"Right, we're here to celebrate you getting married" Taeyong cheered changing the topic and Ten grinned like a fool in love.

"Yeah I can't believe the wedding is so close" He said smiling excitedly.

"About time you two have been engaged forever" Jeno scoffed but the smile on his face showed how happy he was for his brother.

"I know we're basically married" Ten chuckled as the others cheers'd to that.

"Ahhh sorry I'm late" Mark said rushing in sitting on the chair opposite Ten.

"What's with all the bags Markie?" Donghyuck asked curiously looking at the the five small paper bags in his hands.

"Well I remembered something from when all of us went camping and I thought now was a good time to do this" Mark said laughing nervously, "But I'm not sure if you guys would really like it now" he said handing everyone a bag.

Ten peeked inside and immediately smiled, "Oh wow I forgot that we wanted to do this" he said pulling out a cap with the words 'The Lee brothers' written in neat cursive.

"Oh yea we wanted matching caps for the five of us because we thought shirts were too tacky" Donghyuck chuckled holding onto his cap as of it was his greatest treasure, while smiling brightly.

"Wow we really love these Mark, can't believe we almost forgot about this" Taeyong chuckled looking at his cap with awe and then his eyes brightened "It even has my name on the back"

"Yea it does and I also almost forgot about this too" Mark smiled brightly as he saw his brothers looking at the caps with smiles on their faces.

"Our family isn't very normal is it?" Jeno smiled and the others nodded.

"To think we were this close to being eachothers worst enemies" Ten laughed and Taeyong frowned, still not able to joke about it.

"Yea that was crappy of me" Taeyong said looking down at his glass of water as he remebered how he treated Ten and Donghyuck.

"I can't believe you still beat yourself up over that hyung you were a kid! You were allowed to feel angry and be defensive and irrational" Donghyuck said grinning brightly and a small sad smile graced Taeyongs face because a smile from Hyuck was contagious, "And at the end of the day you came around and now we've got such a strong bond. And you did a lovely job as an older brother I mean look at how I turned out" Donghyuck smiled proudly.

"I thought we were making him feel better not worse. You turned out to be a pain in the ass" Jeno said with a playful smile on his face and Donghyuck pretended to be shot, looking at Jeno in betrayal as Jeno smirked proudly like an evil villan.

"We really need to seperate those two because Jeno has been catching on to Donghyucks dramatic attitude" Ten said watching the two youngest judgingly and Mark just drank (his water) to that.

"Please you're one to talk Ten" Taeyong scoffed rolling his eyes, "You're the one who taught that brat how to be dramatic"

"I object"

"Hyung that's not how it works" Mark sighed, smiling at Ten.

"Ahhh I agree with Taeyong, I am who I am because of Ten" Donghyuck chuckled and shifted away from Ten quickly as the other tried to hit him.

"Ya come here I'll show you dramatic" Ten yelled, trying to attack Haechan who was hiding behind Mark.

"You always hide behind Mark as if Mark would fight for you" Jeno rolled his eyes and Donghyuck stuck out his tongue.

"If I think any of you would attack Mark I wouldn't hide behind him cus he's a weak little baby but I know none of you guys would hurt a hair on Marks head so he's the safest to hide behind"

"He's not wrong" Taeyong shrugged.

"That and Donghyucks favourite is Mark" Ten complained and Donghyuck grinned nodding his head and Mark just sighed trying his best to order drinks for everyone with Donghyuck standing behind him and Ten ready to pounce in their direction at any moment.

"When did he even get so attached?" Jeno asked latching himself onto Tens arm. Ironic.

"Probably the first time Mark spoke during dinner without us having to ask him anything" Taeyong chuckled at the memory and everyone smiled.

"I was so amused that he was an actual person with feelings" Donghyuck perked up from behind Mark who glared at the boy and flicked him on the head.

"I'm not safe anywhere" Donghyuck whined running to Taeyong and dramatically falling onto his lap.

"I was just excited about a song I liked that day and I felt so concious the way all of you looked at me with big eyes" Mark said recalling the memory with a frown.

"Yea it was a quite dinner that day because Jeno and Hyuck were fighting at it got awkward to talk and suddenly out of the blue YOU, of all people spoke." Taeyong said smiling looking at the two youngest who just stuck their tongues out at eachother at the mention of their 'fight'

"Yeah I remember, they were fighting over something very stupid and they got so excited that Mark had spoken that they completely forgot about their fight" Ten chuckled whole heartedly joined by Taeyong and Mark.

"Now that I remember we left our fight half way I'm not talking to you anymore Jeno" Haechan said, puffing his chest and pouting.

"You're really high maintenance you know" Jeno said coking an eyebrow and Haechan just laughed at that statement, not denying it.

"Yeah you are. You once tried jumping out of the second floor window because someone told you you were to much of a coward to do so" Mark said with a frown, accusingly pointing his finger at their youngest. Jeno wasn't wrong, dealing with Donghyuck wasn't an easy task.

"Oh yea I remember Jeno couldn't stop Hyuck so he ran to Mark's classroom which was closest and then came all the way to the other building to get us" Taeyong said with a lopside smile.

"Ahhhh yess I remember you people scolding me so much and Jeno refused to speak to me the entire day at school and then cried when we got home" Donghyuck chuckled as Jeno blushed.

"I'm sorry I was scared that you were going to die!' Jeno yelled defensively and everyone laughed.

"Mark yelled at me so much and scared everyone in my class and then oh god when Taeyong and Ten walked in angry I almost shat my pants"

"Angry Taeyong is a scary Taeyong" Mark shuddered.

"Even your mother was scared of you angry and you were only thirteen back then" Ten smiled at Taeyong cheekily and the boy just sipped on his drink that arrived a while ago looking elsewhere.

"Well I was pissed that they kept dragging Hyuck into their petty arguments. God I hate that woman so much." Taeyong said, getting angry.

"I feel bad that I haven't invited them to the wedding because at the end of the day they took me in when my parents died but I just hate them so much" Ten frowned and Mark patted his brothers back.

"Dont worry we all hate them, they would have spoilt everyone's mood." Mark said and then scoffed, "Dad's finally given up on trying to persuade me to steal your business" Mark chuckled and Ten smiled at him.

"Yea now he's trying to persuade me." Jeno rolled his eyes and Ten chuckled.

"Like, as it is we have stability because of our shares now he's being greedy again? Didn't his greed ruin our lives enough" Mark said clutching onto his drink angrily.

"The only good thing that came out of his greed was Hyuck" Taeyong said hugging the youngest who just looked sullen.

"I wouldn't say good thing... their fights got worse because of me. I mean I don't blame Mrs. Lee for hating me" Haechan said eyes downcast.

"No don't make excuses for that woman" Jeno growled.

"But I'm the reason her marriage was compromised." Haechan frowned.

"She compromised her own marriage because she was an awful person no one wanted to spend the rest of their life with and she had no right to take it all out on you" Mark said angrily clutching onto his drink.

"No Mark you don't get it, it was only fair to hate me" Haechan said with a frown and Ten and Taeyong looked at eachother with worry, patting the yongers back.

"She had no right to hate you" Mark said getting angrier by the second and Jeno tried to calm his brother down. This always was a sensitive topic.

But Heachan nodded his head in disagreement, "I was born because her husband cheated on her"

"And I was born because she cheated on her husband" Mark yelled and everyone at the table looked at him wide eye'd.

"This is one hell of a bachelor party" Jeno said reaching for his drink, still shocked at what Mark had just said.

"Mark what are you saying..." Taeyong asked, placing a hand on Marks knee as Mark tried his best to avoid evryone gaze.

"I didn't know how to tell you guys but that's why dad stopped bothering me, because he recently found out I'm not his son" Mark said eyes downcast and then scoffed, "So now he's cut all ties with me"

"Oh I'm going to go punch that greedy old bastard" Jeno said with a growl to his tone and his fists clenched.

"Dont waste your time I don't care but it hurt how easy it was for him to drop me and now I hate my mother even more considering she knew about this since I was born but still fought with dad over him cheating and gave Hyuck crap for it" Mark frowned.

"Ugh this is so fucked up" Ten said taking a chug of his drink.

"I'm not a Lee" Mark sniffed, "I'm not your brother"

"Ahhh thats bs we're all brothers" Haechan said hugging Mark from behind.

"Yea and we've been through hell and back together" Ten grinned.

"And we'll always have eachothers backs and there's no easy way for you to get out of being our brother" Jeno said lightly punching Mark on his shoulder.

"I haven't raised you all my life for you to think I'm not your brother" Taeyong smiled and Mark chuckled slightly at that.

"Taeyong you're not their brother you're basically their mother" Ten said and everyone chuckled.

"Yea the constant nagging and the obsession with cleanliness and Febreze" Haechan said with a laugh and everyone chuckled.

"Yea so I don't know why you thought anything would change Mark" Jeno chuckled and Mark smiled.

"Yea we had messed up parents but luckily we have eachother" Taeyong said and Mark smiled.

"Yea we're definitely all Ten has" Haechan said wiping a fake tear, "No friends, just his brothers to have his bachelor party with"

"Okay now you're dead" Ten said chasing Donghyuck around the bar.

It resulted in them getting kicked out but they all laughed as they made their way to cafe moon, talking animatedly and happily.

The night was long and their futures prosperous.

~~~

The Lee Brother's- A mini series

Previous Part: Lee Donghyuck

[goldlightsaber]

No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men doesn't really need my praise, given that it won the Academy Award for Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor and several other awards. But I'm here to give it anyway! It is truly a work of art. Over a decade old and it has stood the test of time as a gripping thriller. Warning: this review is a bit all over the place, but I covered the bits I liked best!

The Big Bad

Javier Bardem. Where do I begin with him? I could watch this man clean up gunshot wounds in a cheap motel room for hours. It was so fascinating to see him work -- even if a lot of that work was brutal, cold-blooded, psychopathic murder. Watching him was like watching a true crime documentary. He felt real and chilled me to the core.

I commend the script for all its cleverness, but especially the intentionality behind Anton Chigurh's dialogue. I have never seen more unusual, rhythmic dialogue. What stuck in my head was his relentless way of asking questions. "Where does he work?" he asks the trailer park management lady. She tells him she can't tell him. Again, he asks, "Where does he work?" She tells him again, more firmly, that she can't reveal the information. In the same monotone, he asks for a third time, "Where does he work?" He puts on no charm. He does not bribe or threaten. He asks questions straight. He disguises himself as --but does not claim to be-- something he's not. He pretends to be a cop; a man stranded on the road; a hotel guess. People believe what he only appears to be. They make something of him, something recognizable, so that they know how to interact with him. Except slowly, through dialogue, he reveals to them his true, sadistic nature. And no one wants to believe it. Often the people he speaks with are dumbfounded, stammering out "Sir?" and "I don't understand." It doesn't dawn on them until its too late that he is someone they should run from. It's ironic, really. The goodwill and trust of other people is his bread and butter -- it's what allows him to extract information without force (at least at first) and to obtain all the resources he needs. There's a Southern hospitality theme that runs throughout. Many of the Texans he runs into offer him help -- little do they know that, with Anton Chigurh, it will likely cost them their lives. Everyone is a means to an end unless they are the end -- the person he means to kill.

Don't even get me started on his weapon of choice. It looks like he's carrying around an oxygen tank. It even gives him a misleading look of frailty -- like he might be using it to survive despite it not being attached to his person. If he was carrying around a gun, people might run in the other direction. But, seeing a captive bolt stunner, people are often just confused (I had to look up what it was called) -- and that's part of his genius too.

Yet he's tone deaf. He is easily irritated by small talk, seeming not to understand its point (award for most extreme introvert like, ever?). He nearly killed a gas station worker seemingly because of the small talk. A hint at his disturbed, unusual mind. As I mentioned earlier, he always cuts to the chase -- no fluff. He will get what he needs now, or else. Unless you're lucky and the coin toss flips in your favor. Or there are too many witnesses nearby. But rest assured -- there is no escaping this man. As Woody Harrelson's character, Wills, asks Llewelyn: "You've seen him, and you're not dead?"

Subverting Expectations

With a crime movie, you hope the good guy lives and the cops catch the killers, or that at least one of the two things happen. Nope! Not that simple with a Coen brothers film. Llewelyn is a law-breaking and a "street smart" guy but has a golden heart. He's empathetic (like when the "agua" man hung over his conscience) and only shoots people when he needs to -- Anton Chigurh is his foil, in that sense. Even though his resourcefulness and quick thinking gets him out of trouble for the majority of the film, he is suddenly killed by the Mexican cartel. We don't see it happen, we only see the drug dealers fleeing the scene and the aftermath. It comes minutes after a flirty motel patron tells Llewelyn that, whatever is coming, Llewelyn will never see it coming. And he doesn't. And neither does the audience, for that matter. With Llewelyn seemingly gearing up to fight Chigurh, I expected the two of them to have a showdown over the money. Llewelyn's death was sudden and abrupt. He didn't go out with guns blazing. He didn't get to showcase his strength. For all the times he has healed from injuries, Llewelyn--likable, honorable--still dies.

The sheriff retires -- he doesn't manage to track down Chigurh or anyone else for that matter. To him, Chigurh is a "ghost." The sheriff, at the end of the movie, describes himself as "ummatched," and that is underwhelming too. You fully expect -- or I did, based on previous crime thriller movies-- for some sort of justice to be served, for someone to be caught and locked away, but Chigurh is alive and free at the end of the movie and so are all the anonymous players of the drug cartels working these deals. There was no justice. Not for Llewelyn, not for his wife, not for all the collateral damage.

A Brilliant Script

Speaking of Llewelyn's wife! I loved her last show of defiance in the face of Chigurh. She was shocked but not surprised. Surely, his appearance scared her, but she knew death was coming for her -- and she didn't give Chigurh the liberty of making her death her responsibility. He was fully accountable -- and she made that clear. Was it a foolish choice? I don't know. It did leave me thinking for a while -- what would I do in the situation? The coin toss is the greatest mercy Chigurh is capable of bestowing on anyone. He is a Harvey Dent without a grudge. She chooses not to participate in the game and he kills her. I asked myself: were I in that situation, would I have chosen not to play? There were two options: she plays and has a 50% chance of living. She doesn't play, and she will, for certain, die. She chooses the latter. Is that bravery? I think so. It's certainly strength of character. She is principled in a wholly other way than Chigurh. I feel that I would have wanted to "call it" -- give myself a chance at living. But even that phrasing is misleading. No matter the "choice," Chigurh is the real judge, jury and executioner. And he chooses to kill. Always.

When he exits Carla Jean's house, I found myself wondering what had happened. In the first few seconds of the scene, it isn't yet clear whether he killed her. What follows is one of the more brilliant, subtle moments of the film: Chigurh checks the bottoms of his shoes. We know from an earlier scene that he takes care to keep them clean from the carnage of his crimes, and so, we also know he was checking to see if Carla Jean's blood had spilt on them. He murdered her.

The Ending

I have not yet uncovered the symbolic significance of the car crash, but I can try to take a guess. The car crash brutally injures Chigurh, breaking his arm and God knows what else. It is a random accident, not someone intentionally trying to kill him. Two boys who were riding their bikes behind him approaching Chigurh, who is sitting on the sidewalk, seriously injured. The boys offer him help only out of goodwill. But then he offers them money for one of their shirts, which they initially reject until he insists they take it. Is the symbolism in that? Of yet-uncorrupted youth starkly contrasted with his total evil? In offering them a large sum of money, is he corrupting them to think of life transactionally? As he walks away, the boys argue about splitting the money and he is no longer their concern -- greed is on their mind but only because he brought up money in the first place. (I feel like I cheated on this one because I read somewhere how the movie is about the rising forces of evil in the world that are hard to defeat -- hence the sheriff is unable to defeat them). Will this start them down the path of chasing money and power? Who knows. Maybe.

Overall: a movie I couldn't look away from except to run to the bathroom. I could watch hours of Javier Bardem in this role just sitting. Or eating. But preferably treating his own wounds.

Watch if: you're a fan of Ozark (TV show); or Fargo (movie or TV show).