#my roommate dad has disowned me
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Family Day Part One | Shadowhunters
FANDOM: Shadowhunters
PAIRING: Alec Lightwood x Magnus Bane
WORD COUNT: 1107
RATING: PG-13
POTENTIAL TRIGGERS: N/A
SUMMARY: Family Day at the Institute is the one day Alec always hates; mainly because his father is a politician with impossible standards for his children and an especially high disappointment for his eldest son. This year is troublesome, because not only is his little sister there, but he’s got an obvious crush on his roommate that will no doubt come into question. Until Isabelle decides that he and Magnus faking being together is the best course of action.
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Family day.
Alec had stayed in the dorm for the better part of the morning, ignoring what little noise he could hear. Parents coming to see their kids and ask about them and see the classes and the campus in a more knowledgeable setting. Alec wasn't holding his breath. He was leaning back against the arm of the couch, silent and watching tv, when the door opened and Magnus came in, followed by Isabelle. Alec arched a brow as his sister looked less than put together. Which actually meant she was overly put together. “Izzy?”
“Mom and Dad are coming.” Izzy said quickly, fingers fiddling with the high collar of her midnight blue dress.
“What?!” Alec sat up, legs swinging off the couch as he watched his sister, blue eyes widening. The commotion was enough to get Magnus’ attention from where he was beginning to cook (the plan they’d made weeks ago when Family Day had been announced), and he turned towards the startled sound in Alec's voice.
“Alexander?” He asked, concern in his voice as the siblings looked at him. “What's wrong?”
Alec ran a hand over his face and through his hair. “Our parents are coming.”
“Why? I thought they basically didn’t talk to the two of you anymore.” Magnus felt thrown off for a moment.
“Dad did, which makes it hard to talk to mom. Because of him, she haven't said a word to me since I told them I was going to follow what I wanted.”
“And refusing to marry Lydia so publicly.” Isabelle replied, giving a proud little smile.
“Lydia wanted to marry someone else. I wasn't going to let our parents, no, our dad, take that from her.” Alec retorted, making Magnus smile.
“So why would they come here now?” Magnus asked, wanting to know.
“It probably has absolutely nothing to do with wanting to see us.” Alec assured. “Fifty dollars says it’s all just for show.” The resigned tone in his voice made Izzy bite her lip nervously.
“Dad must be going for re-election.” She added with a quiet sigh and a clearly resigned nod, moving to sit down on the couch next to Alec. Ebony hair fell over her shoulder as she ran slender fingers through her ponytail. “Which means he wants the younger age bracket votes.”
“And he thinks that using his own kids will fix that?” Magnus asked, clearly unhappy by the idea of it. “That's ridiculous!”
“It isn't so much about Izzy as it is putting on a show with me as his little puppet.” Alec said, his jaw tense as he stared at his hands.
“Pardon?” Magnus asked. “Why would one of you be more important than the other?”
“Making a show of supporting Alec after the hell dad caused last campaign would make him look better to younger voters given the current big issues.” Izzy answered. “When Alec came out last year, people supported him while our dad disowned him. It makes it hard for us to have a decent conversation with mom because of it.” She watched Magnus take in the information, his dark eyes pondering. When a spark lit in those pretty brown hues, she arched a brow. “What is going through that head of yours, Magnus?”
“Why not invite them for dinner?” Magnus asked, giving a smirk. “We can test his resolve to putting on a show.”
“IT would be nice to see how well his acting is,” Alec replied, chuckling.
“How exactly are we gonna do that? It’s not like Alec has a boyfriend.” Izzy countered, but as she said it, she gave a grin. “Oh my god, yes. Magnus, you could pretend to be Alec’s boyfriend.”
Having his initial idea derailed by the enthusiasm from his roommate’s sister, he blinked a little. “Uhm...Isabelle…”
“No, no, it’s perfect!” Izzy said, clapping a little. “I’ll invite them over, you two get ready!” That being said, she was up and out, in much better spirits than her arrival just minutes before. There was a terribly awkward silence between the young men as they stood there.
“Alec, I didn’t mean-”
“No, I know. Izzy kind of gets ideas and takes off with them.” Alec interrupted him, blushing a little even though he didn’t really like when Magnus called him Alec these days. Magnus calling him Alec usually meant that Magnus was uncomfortable, tired or trying to stop him from talking. And since they had been up long enough to be awake but not long enough to want a nap and Alec hadn’t been talking, it made it easy to figure out which option was most likely. And Magnus had every right to feel that way. Pretend to be boyfriends? Alec wasn’t even sure if he was Magnus’ type. How could that work when Alec was fairly certain that he loved the other man? “But, uhm, if it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have-”
“Why would it make me uncomfortable?” It was Magnus’ turn to interrupt, tilting his head as he walked over to take Izzy’s place beside the raven haired man. “Alexander, if there is anything that would not make me uncomfortable, it’s showing your dad’s act up.” And it would help that being fake boyfriends would make it easy to steal kisses; at least while ALec’s parents were around. He could handle that….couldn’t he? “Besides, no one can throw a good dinner party like me.”
“Are you sure Cat wouldn’t mind?” Alec asked.
“Why would Cat…?” Magnus trailed off before shaking his head. “Oh, Alexander, darling, no. Catarina and I are just really good friends. We go way, way back.” he explained, resting a hand on Alec’s knee. “I’m sorry if we came across as more than that.”
“So you’re really okay with this? Pretending to be dating?”
“I mean, we’re already living together.” Magnus countered. “IF anyone could pull this off and make it look real, it’s us.”
Alec couldn't help but smile because Magnus was right. They could pull this off for a few days while his parents were in town. The real question was if they could go back to being just friends when the time came for his parents to go home. “What can I do to help get ready?”
“Let’s get dinner started.” Magnus said with a wink, leaning to kiss Alec’s cheek and get up. “Maybe if we have time, a few practice kisses.” He went to start back on prepping dinner, glad when Alec joined him with a blush on his cheeks. This was going to be a test Alec’s father couldn’t pass, Magnus would make sure of that.
#College Dorm Series#shadowhunters fanfic#shadowhunters fanfiction#shadowhunters#Malec#Alec x Magnus#Magnus x Alec#making a fantasy…a beautiful galaxy ✾ my fics#this is what we call style ✭ queue
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Like A Pretty Boy: Gabe x Y/N Midi Series- PRT 8
Tagging: @icarus-star@kappasbbgirl@starry-eyed-wild-child@luzclarita57@bonesgirl11 @444rockstargf blondiezluvbrowniezpretty-girl-bloggfallin444niyaliquidsmoothdomme@rootin-tootin-pootinethical-cain-vinnell3viathan-sin666crowfullofwoe@8klil@spoilingthemilk @romanroyapoligist anakinskywalkerssgfzoloftsh4wtywomenloverlmaoberrymeringuepostselvira-aarseth @agornotsworld
Y/n walks into the apartment hearing music playing from the bedroom. It wasn't something that was normally played, it was heavier like a metal band he wasn't familiar with.
"Babe? Are you preparing to murder me or-" Y/n sat his bags down and wandered into the bedroom to see Gabe on the floor with a half empty whiskey bottle, his cell phone clutched in his hand and a picture of his family that usually lived in a drawer in the living room but was now sitting on the floor.
"What's going on? Why are we listening to death metal and drinking at 3PM on a Thursday on the floor?" Y/n asked carefully moving to turn the music down. Gabe took another swig from the bottle and shrugged.
"Ruth came by...she started drilling me about what happened and I came out to her...I just...I blurted it out so she would just stop yelling at me." Gabe's voice was gravely from the liquor. He didn't lift his gaze as he spoke so Y/n knelt down next to him.
"I told her that you weren't my roommate and that we had been partners for years and that just hearing the insult from someone so close, triggered my fight or flight." Y/n frowned.
"Yeah? How did she take it?" Gabe snorted at Y/n's question.
"She ran out of here like I just set her on fire and now she's blocked me on social media and all of the numbers I could possibly reach her on." Gabe tossed his phone back on the floor and shook his head.
"Maybe she just needs time to sit with it? A lot has happened between you guys in the last week so I imagine it was the last thing she expected to hear." Y/n put his hand on Gabe's knee and Gabe shook his head.
"How do you feel now? I mean...you finally said it out loud. That's a huge step for you." Y/n asked hoping he at least felt a bit of relief dispute the way things currently panned out.
"What do you want me to say? I feel free? I feel like a huge weight has been lifted now that my whole family is going to disown me? I'll never see my nephew again, my dad will pretend he never had a son because it's so much easier pretending I don't exist if I'm some faggot disappointment." Gabe's tone had shifted and Y/n sat back on his heels.
"Hey don't-"
"What? I'm sure you're thrilled about this. You can finally drag me around the city, meet your friends and prove I actually exist." Gabe finally met Y/n's gaze.
"You got what you wanted. I can yell it in the streets now because no one gives a shit about me and my sexuality." Gabe laughed coldly.
"You know I would never want this for you." Y/n reminded feeling the jab he just took right in the heart.
"Doesn't matter. I'm out now. I have no family but I've got my health." He tilted the bottle up and took another swig. Y/n watched him slowly slip into this self destructive ways. He knew this was a liquor induced tirade but saying that he had no family hurt.
Y/n got up from the floor and walked into the closet and grabbed a bag, tossing a few things into it while Gabe stayed sulking on the floor.
"Where are you going?" Gabe asked confused.
"Out until you sober up. I know you're upset and you have every right to feel hurt and scared but you don't get to take your fear out on me. You don't get to blame me for something you did in a moment of panic." Y/n zipped his bag and Gabe frowned clutching the bottle.
"You don't have to leave. I can leave-" Y/n paused what he was doing and crouched down to grip Gabe's chin.
"I'm going to go but I will be back in the morning. If I find out you left this apartment in this state, we're over. You are in no condition to stand let alone travel around the city. Stay here, let yourself have these feelings and then we'll talk tomorrow." Y/n spoke firmly so Gabe would understand that he was not joking. Y/n lost his mother to a drunken accident and he refused to let Gabe make that same mistake.
Gabe nodded quietly and Y/n let go of his chin, snatching his bag up and shutting the door. He knew that Gabe was safe as long as he was in the apartment. He didn't plan on staying anywhere else but home but he needed Gabe to pass out before he returned to the apartment.
He wished that he could fix this for him but this was something he had avoided for years. He couldn't take this anguish from him. He could only help him through it.
#Film: Materna#Materna#Gabe#Gabe x Y/n#FTM Y/n#Like A Pretty Boy#Like A Pretty Boy Series#Midi series#Rory Culkin#Culkin Cult
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A Scooby Re-Write Inspired by Me and My Brother talking
After reblogging that, I got reminded of a discussion my brother and I had over Scooby-Doo. Basically we were talking about how Velma, while not the worst idea, is failing HARD at delivering anything. There's plenty of people on YouTube explaining WHY the show isn't doing well, so I won't bore you. Instead I'll talk about what me and my brother discussed.
First thought: Watch this Video. It's a good talk and honestly was the basis for our thoughts.
Most of this is mine with some thoughts of my brother.
First, I'd have them be college kids. Shaggy is the eldest at 21, and Velma is the baby at 18. Note as well: this follows my Canadian understanding of college and university.
Shaggy is a rich kid whose parents shoved him into all sorts of programs, and he killed it in theater club and culinary classes. Scooby is his dog he rescued at fourteen from an abusive relative. His parents actually helped to. His parents weren't neglectful, and fully support his dreams. They just really wanted him to find a hobby that wasn't eating. They're rich but also kinda hippies who own their own farm where they get fresh food, have chickens and also humanely butcher their animals. Shaggy is only vegetarian when he doesn't have access to meat he knows is ethically sourced. He believes in protecting the planet and might, a few times after catching eco-villains, buy the land they we were worried about to protect. He also is personally rich after creating a snack he calls 'Scooby Snacks' that are healthy and delicious.
Daphne is also a rich kid who knows Shaggy in the 'our parents do business together so we sat at dinners with each other'. Her parents also shoved her into programs a lot, but her interest ended up being fashion and judo. Like Shaggy, her parents aren't neglectful. They're just very busy and wanted her in programs to limit her alone time. Daphne and Shaggy are kind of friend. They get along, and when they see each other in class sit next to each other. But Daphne isn't that interest in spending time with him outside of class, mostly because she's busy with her designs and judo classes. And her boyfriend, Fred.
Fred isn't a rich kid. I like how his dad was mayor in Mystery Incorporated, and I like his trap obsession, so I want to keep that. His mom is a former socialite who became a social worker and is always busy like his dad. He ended up hanging out with his uncle, who is a stunts and props expert for movies. Traps came from this, and so Fred developed an obsession with it. Fred is a good kid, and he owns the mystery van that he painted like it is on a dare. He liked it though! He and Daphne went to the same school cause his mom used some of her money to pay for a private school.
Velma is a genius kid who graduated at age 15. She's in her third year, and striving to go into criminology. Her parents are the type who PUSH and PUSH to have her work harder and harder on school. They imagine her as a famous doctor who will make millions and have them in a life of luxury. She in turn has been working towards her criminology degree and when she turned 18, moved out and now lives in the dorms, where she is Daphne's roommate.
Daphne and Velma ended up close when Velma's parents tried to force their way into the dorm. Daphne prevented this, and they became very good friends. Daphne is in fashion studies, but takes a couple of justice courses for fun. Mostly due to Fred who has an interest thanks to learning his mother was disowned for blowing the whistle on her cousin's criminal life. Fred wants to go into movie making but takes the other stuff for fun.
Shaggy is kind of the odd man out, here. But it doesn't last. One summer, a really good university for future criminology students offers a scholarship for someone who can have a video where the student talks about famous crimes. Bonus if you actually go to these places.
Velma really wants this, but isn't sure if she can afford it. Daphne suggests going with her, and Fred can work the camera/drive. But they honestly don't have enough money. Daphne's parents firmly believe in their daughter making her own way. They pay for school, send her 500 every two weeks for food/gas, but do NOT pay for extra stuff. This, while nice, isn't something they would pay for.
Shaggy comes in. He's bored and overhears them as he's at Daphne's dorm for a group project they have in their costuming class as he's taking theater and culinary classes out of mostly boredom. He offers to pay cause 'I don't have anything to do over the summer and my extended family will be around cause of *reasons* and I hate them'.
So they all go off for Velma! And then of course, they start to find various supernatural crimes going on. Velma is secretly a ghost junkie, so is Fred. They have time, and go off to see it. And that is how them busting crimes start.
They go through about ten crimes, and there is some joking about how 'what the fuck, why is there so many people doing this shit' before they meet a REAL witch who has been terrifying people away from an area due to another witch trying to murder people. They team up to stop the evil witch, and in thanks, the witch casts a spell to give each of them a true desire.
Fred gets a book about ALL traps in the world that is self updating. Daphne gets a suitcase that has the perfect outfit for any occasion. Velma gets a book all about the supernatural that also updates or tells them things they need to know. Shaggy? Shaggy truly wants his dog to live as long as he does. And Scooby? He wants to talk.
After this, they keep going and end up finding real supernatrual mixed in with regular. Daphne begins posting it online, the police know of them...
And at the end of the summer, Velma gets her scholarship. But also is allowed to do her classes online thanks to a wish granted by a grateful genie. They keep going, all over the world, happy as can be.
Notes:
-Velma is a lesbian and ends up with a new love interest every few episodes who keeps being the villain. She's teased for having crushes on felons.
-Scooby turns out to be a fae dog who stays with them.
-Shaggy I feel has a long distance girlfriend who ends up appearing once in a while and is brought up each episode so she is a major character but not around cause she is busy like... discovering the cure for cancer.
-Fred and Daphne get married in Vegas.
-While mostly episodic, there is a few long arching plots (IE: The scholarship and then later probably something like an apocolypse)
-Shaggy and Scooby are both still cowards but Shaggy will also punch a ghost for his friends and Scooby will run back to save them.
-Shaggy ends up getting magic.
-One gets bitten by a werewolf that that's a sub plot for like ten episodes or a season looking for a cure. Either they get cured or stay like it cause why not.
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AITA for breaking up with my kind of boyfriend?
I (M18) currently go to a boarding school. I can imagine you can guess where this is going. For the past 3ish years my roommate P(M18) and I have been having a secret. Relationship?
P is gay. He's 100% sure about this. But I'm not so sure, and a huge problem is my faith and my parents. Obviously being gay is not well regarded at my school, and it's even less well regarded by my parents, who expect me to graduate and go to a good college and eventually join my dad's law firm. My dad is extremely against gay people and when I quit the golf club he asked me if I was gay (except in stronger words that I can't exactly say). I know if I were to tell him about P and me, he would immediately fly up here and beat the shit out of me and then disown me.
Recently P has been acting really weird. He's been more affectionate in public (he tried to kiss me at a rave and also at our friend's birthday party, both when other people were around). He managed to rope me into our school's production of Romeo and Juliet, which my dad is totally gonna freak out about.
Today, in rehearsal, we were practicing the fight scene between Romeo and Tybalt (I'm Romeo) and M, (17M) who plays Tybalt, suddenly tackled me and called me the f slur. P had to physically pull him off of me.
So obviously I was a little frazzled, and then P decides to tell me that he saw a divine vision of the Holy Mary and she told him to come out to his parents, which is, obviously, a horrible idea. He was spouting some bullshit about how we'll graduate in three months and then we'll be free to do whatever he wants, which is obviously not true. I told him he was delusional, and it was never going to work out between us, and I broke up with him. Now he's been ignoring me, which really sucks because we're roommates. I feel bad, but he doesn't understand that my father would literally kill me if I was gay.
So, AITA for breaking up with him?
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Hey! I've finally gotten the courage to pack up and leave a really awful friend and roommate situation. I have 2 lovely cats and a lil baby spider, Birtie Brutus and Zagreus respectfully, who mean the world to me. I'm 23 and nonbinary transmasc, I've been disowned by my dad and recently overcame homelessness. I unfortunately lost all my savings due to the person and a bout of unemployment. After this last big fight it's not safe anymore to stay where I am, I could really use a little love sent my way if anyone has it. I'm trying to get a second job and get enough for a down deposit and various moving costs. It's been my lifelong dream to make my own home full of love and I could really use some help. I want to thank all my friends too for helping me realize what was happening and taught me I deserve better. Love you all!!
$0/$2500
#gofundme#abusive relationship#abusive friendship#anything helps#donations#fundrasier#moveing out#escaping abuse#fund the escape
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Frederick Kreiburg
I like him because he has the perfect blend of characteristics I like. I relate to he kinda has ocd and psychosis. I dislike how they're not yet giving him proper focus
Favorite canon thing? That he's mannered, he loves horses. How he was once the golden child but is burned out asf as an adult, disowned and cut of from finances. I love that he plays the piano, how he wants people to see beyond his looks, how he loves his family when they don't want him, how he admires talented people instead of envies them. I love how he tries so hard and so much more
Least favorite canon thing? None.
I want to see him in all forms of media
Song I associate with him? "Insecure" by twenty one pilots
Something we have in common? Mental illness. Paranoia. Our dads suck. We both never achieved our dreams. Other stuff.
Something the fandom does with the character that I like?? Eyelashes!
Something fandom does that I don't like? Honestly, when they just pair him. No one talks about his lore as much. That's a personal pet peeve
Could we be roommates? Canonically, he even requested to have the most private room far away from everyone. So no.
Could we be best friends? If he were real, I'd do anything to see him happy. Not sure he'll like me. But if he wants, I'll be the happiest best friend
Would you date this character? Romances are tricky. I'm not sure. Funny thing I had a dream where I saw him and thought I don't deserve him
Head canon for this character? Mary gifted him his tuning fork. He doesn't know how to clean so the first thing he did with his commission money was hire cleaners.
emoji for this character: 🎹🎶
Assign a fashion aesthetic. Strangely enough, since he has piercings and spikey hair, I imagine a weird mix of bespoke and punk rock? Imagine the Marie Joseph in the manga "innocent"
favorite ship for this character? I'm not invested in any, but I like any ship art with him only because I get to see more art of him.
Least favorite ship with him? Pr0ship ones. Thankfully he doesn't have much pr0ship content. He's ship with -alot- but at least it's usually ok
Neutral ship? As I said, most of it
Relationship with a canon character that I admire? He seems to care for Mary and they both might be supportive of each other coz they're both born in the same uncaring family
Canon relationship I don't like? His dad
Ideal best friend for this character? Alice. Idk why him and Orpheus are so popular when they're both antagonistic. Alice actually noticed that Frederick was tired and sad, and didn't throw him under the bus like the rest. Though yeah, he isn't as nice to her. I think he isn't nice to everyone anyway. But in a scenario where he gets a caring friend, it would be Alice
If I'm a fic writer, what do I do with them?I'm not a fic writer but I draw and caption it with my head canons. I usually draw him melancholic and contemplating. I like to make him angelic looking.
If I'm a fic reader, what do I like when I read? I don't read fanfictions of him tbh so I can't comment. I only read one, found it here in Tumblr, it was about how Frederick would act in a relationship, and I loved it coz it got his character well. That's where I got the he doesn't know how to do chores. Ig I loved it if they deal with his abandonment issues and how he struggles with no support
Favorite pic of him? The AOM 2 poster. It's fully rendered art and clearer than my life
Other character from another fandom reminds me of them? Just the vibe: Sunday from HSR
First impression: basic unoriginal condescending good looking guy. Present impression: insecure person that got unfairly treated for not being the perfect child. He's ashamed of his good looks because his family couldn't care less about any of his redeeming qualities. Love was conditional for him. He acts distant as a protective barrier because he was hurt and probably has cptsd. Despite everything, he's not a bitter guy. He admires others that are talented. He hates himself and pushes himself to hard for just being himself.
CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! 💫
Send a character + one or more of these question!
1. Why do you like or dislike this character?
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
6. What's something you have in common with this character?
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
10. Could you be best friends with this character?
11. Would you date this character?
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?
17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?
20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?
21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?
23. Favorite picture of this character?
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!
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Might eat a snack before bed idk, today’s been shit and I need fuel
I TALKED TO MY OLDER SISTER THO!!! She’s literally so awesome I love her so so much man
I told her ab the situation with my dad and everything
And it gets worse bc his girlfriend is four months younger than me which isn’t a lot younger than me but I’m still older than his girlfriend (my dads 46 dating an 18 yr old)
I’m quietly disowning him man, idc if we live in the same house he’s a fucking roommate now
Anyways ritz crackers sounds nice I’m gonna have those if there are any left!!
Idk if I talked ab this here but my cat has an eye injury rn and I was really worried but it seems to be healing pretty well, man he’s such a good sport dude he’s genuinely the best cat ever, I don’t think he’s ever scratched me or anything, not even while cleaning his eye!!! God I love my cat, he’s a real blessing man. If I ever decide to just up and leave he’s coming with me, he’s literally my rock and my reason for living
He really is the best even if hes “just a cat” he’s my baby and I love him more than anything
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Pepper and Salim Got Married!
They couldn’t wait before they got to the arch.
Their kids were front row seat. (Perfect for Ruby to be inspired)
"Salim Benali. Before we met at that bar, I was just fresh out of prison. Disowned by my blood family. Unsure where else to go in my life. It was just me and Bubbles. Then I went to the bar, trying to get away from some awful roommates at the time. And I met you. I passed out, and yet you tolerated me anyway. You kept me grounded all this time and you accepted me through all of the problems that I have. More than anything, thank you. Thank you for being my real family. Thank you, Ruby, and Kian, of our creation, for being my real family."
With their friends watching. Half of them wearing their science coats for some reason 😕
Ruby especially is invested. “I hope I get a wedding like that some day.”
Oh you will dear. You will…
From there it was a nice hangout
Pepper had the same drink that got her drunk and pregnant with twins. Memories??
Salim also played the piano cause the entertainer didn’t show up.
It’s terrible 😂
Ruby started cussing at her dad for his bad music. Now he has a festering grudge against his daughter 😂
And of course, at the end of the wedding, Pepper aged up. She is now an adult.
Our heir is old now 🥲
It’s also concerning to me cause I’m not done with her gen yet.
I only got the Aspirstion and mischief skill done. I’m super close with logic and elements table and I feel like that’s not too big of an issue. But the career?? Im awful at this career.
I’m only at 5/10 if her career. I’m expected to get that same amount of progress in HALF the time. Because the twins are gonna become teens by then and then Rose Gen is gonna start happening. HELP.
#the sims 4#sims#sims 4#my sims#the sims#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 screenshots#simblr#the sims community#not so berry#not so berry challenge#not so berry mint
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October 26, 2023
I hung out at Sammie's place the other day and bought her parents a box of doughnuts. It was my first time officially meeting them in the comfort of their home. Apparently, they loved the gesture, and Mr. Barrios told Sammie he'd never been given food like that in his own home before. Coming from an Asian upbringing, that kind of treatment is unheard for me. Gift giving is rooted in my culture from Lunar New Year to casually visiting other families for me. It's like saying thank you for allowing me to be in your life, and here's a token of my appreciation for that.
I felt pretty warm and proud inside when Sammie told me how happy her dad was about getting the doughnuts. I'm so used to the action of gift giving as part an engrained cultural trait, but hearing how genuinely appreciative someone is from receiving my gift is something that makes me feel really good inside. I made someone's day by being considerate and appreciative of other people.
Anyways, I thought about that for a bit. It's amusing how different cultures learn and interact with each other. I remember going to Hard Summer with Sammie last year and needing to pee at Mallow's place. His family told me to leave my shoes on to go upstairs to the restroom which was CARPETED.
My body physically couldn't do it and instinctively took off my shoes before running up. Everyone seemed so surprised when I did that. Hell nah I aint staining the carpet with no doggie doo doo from the outdoors. The AUDACITY it would take in myself lmao. It's like the ultimate form of disrespect to tread over someone else's carpet in their own home.
Dony told me one time his Mexican roommate stepped on his bed in shoes for fun, and Dony got so mad he pinned the guy to the wall ready to fuck the guy up. lol
I thought about the idea of white washed Asians and its stigma. I'd say that there's a difference in being Americanized and being white washed. Being Americanized means you've assimilated the culture. Being white washed means you've fully adopted as your own without keeping any of your ethnic roots other than the body you're born into.
A white washed Asian and an Asian American are not fully the same. A lot of Asian Americans hate on white washed Asians, and I used to as well. However, my opinion has changed. Some Asians are born into an environment full of white people, and it's not their fault. However, if they are entitled people who lack compassion for their own blood, then, you have become an alien to me. It just looks ten times worse when a person of your own ethnicity disowns his/her own blood to fit in with White people.
I don't hate ignorance because everyone is ignorant in some kind of way. That just means lack of education. I dislike a person who is closed minded person with no compassion. Selective compassion doesn't count. That's discrimination. Having compassion doesn't mean you have to really love the other side. You just have to be open to seeing the other side before you decide for yourself what's right and wrong.
I was so close to buying a nic device today. I turned around otw to 7 Leaves, but I reminded myself that this isn't how I want to perceive myself. I turned that thing back around thinking that all the vices in the world can be very addicting, but the one thing that defines a person is the principle he stands on.
Principle is a universal language. The principle of gift giving, showing consideration, having compassion, and reinforcing discipline is not something one can merely talk or read about. It's molded through everlasting interaction and experience.
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So my Dad has been battling cancer for almost a decade, and is in remission. But now his kidneys are only functioning at 22% and they have an infection that can’t be treated. So, we’re just waiting. He’s been steadily declining the last two weeks.
This is causing me to spiral. I’m feeling like I’m stranded in the ocean in an inflatable boat with duck tape covering the holes, I can see the shore but it’s so out of my reach and I don’t think I can stay alive to make it there.
I don’t regret my hysterectomy but it was my first surgery and was major. It caused me a lot of trauma mentally and physically. It’s been 5 years almost, and since it’s happened I’ve just been in a downward spiral.
I met a guy and got engaged after 6 weeks, and married within a year. I met him 3 months after my surgery. At the height of a heavy dissociation. And I went back to school without thinking it through clearly.
I was terrified to go back to my management job because my boss would constantly call me an idiot, treat me like I was trash, and would send me to work in various stores but wouldn’t pay me for my travel or pay me an active managers wage to make up for that.
So I went back to school, but then I started developing chronic pain that makes being active so painful. The pain is where my right incision from my hysterectomy is, and where my former cervix used to be. And no drs are listening to me. It’s compromised my mental health to the point I was so unreliable I was struggling to show up for work. Between the pain and my mental health.
And then in the fall of 2020, I was in a car accident. The crash was fairly minor but I hit my head off the windshield not hard enough to crack glass but enough to do damage. Where I hit my head is the area that controls your ability to mask and control your anxiety.
I lost mine. And my short term memory has been affected. Due to this, I had to end my lease and move in with my parents in a whole new province from where I had built a new life. I was suffering from insomnia due to the accident.
And I was prescribed sleep pills, I had never taken any before. And they would knock me out for 10 hours sometimes until I built up a tolerance. And I kept waking up in pain. But I found out my partner had been having sex with me in my sleep, because I wouldn’t wake up. And I never consented to it.
This had been the start of things, and then later that winter I found out I was losing my apartment and my jobs. My spiral has gotten worse since these events.
An anon account came forward on IG and accused my partner of cheating. But there hadn’t been any proof. No screenshots or any information regarding where I could find info. This had caused a riff between us.
When we moved to Ontario, his family basically disowned him. And so even though I want and need out. I feel responsible for him. He moved halfway across the country for me. I’ve tried telling him we’re not good for each other, his mental health is impacting mine and vice versa. And I can’t be a good partner right now.
We haven’t been intimate in 3 years. We tried on my bday but he changed his mind so we stopped. So we’re more like roommates at this point.
I’m feeling so trapped and alone. I just can’t handle it all anymore. I went to hospital in ‘22 for a month. But they refused to really help me, because I have borderline personality disorder. And they would just tell me to do DBT when I got out of the hospital.
But I was then and now at such a low baseline I am barely surviving. I am not eating. I’m not sleeping. My pain is at an all time high. I can’t keep track of days. I thought it was still the 15th for 8 days.
I’m just existing. And I don’t want to anymore. I had to flush all my sleeping pills because I didn’t trust myself not to take them all before bed. So I’m just sleeping maybe 2 hours at night. Because I can’t take sleep meds without feeling triggered and unsafe.
I’ve never said anything to anyone really about this. I tell bits and pieces but it a hard to admit the truth and be honest about what my last 5 years have been. And I am so tired.
#me#personal#tw mental health#tw mention of death#tw sad thoughts#tw sa mention#tw#tw cancer#bpd splitting#bpd tag
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My Future in You | 1.1 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
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Synopsis: Bradley’s twenty-two years old and not where he’s supposed to be. He’s supposed to be out of the academy by now. Instead, he’s retaking his senior year of college and praying to god that he gets into flight school. Mav’s gone, his mom’s gone. He’s mad at the world. Then, a hook up at a Halloween party changes his future even more than he could have imagined.
Warnings: minor smut, eventual accidental pregnancy, angst, drama etc etc, enemies to lovers if you wanna call it that, no major warnings in this chapter
…
“I’m sorry… you’re pregnant? - You’re in your second trimester and you’re just now telling us?” Paige frowns, lips parting, brows furrowed.
You shift awkwardly, nodding softly.
“And my parents kicked me out. And Ryan isn’t the dad.” Your roommates have begun to know Ryan well by this point, he’s been stopping by more and more. You see him almost every day at the moment.
“Well, then, who’s the dad?” Casey’s taking this better than the others, she has had her suspicions.
“Jake’s friend. His name is Bradley, he was here last Wednesday.”
“That guy? - I slept with him last September!” Emily gasps. All eyes turn towards her.
You wish you could say that the information surprised you. She gives you an almost apologetic look. You shrug. If you lost sleep over everyone that Bradley has hooked up with, you wouldn’t sleep until the baby’s born.
“Does Ryan know?” Paige asks gently. You quickly shake your head at her.
“No, but look,” You push yourself to your feet and lift your sweater. All three of their lips part in unison as they realise that this isn’t a prank. There’s certainly a roundness to your stomach, a structured curve starting to form. “I have to tell him. And since the last time someone found out, my parents disowned me - I figured I could use some practice.”
This probably wasn’t the best time to drop a bombshell on them. Paige’s boyfriend is on Jake’s team, you’re about to go to their game - you were offered a hard seltzer and now you’re here, telling them everything.
Your roommates take it better than expected. They’re most upset that you didn’t tell them sooner, especially about what had happened with your parents. But, they’re happy if you’re happy. You think you are. Most days recently you are.
You’re just terrified about telling Ryan.
He’s going to be there tonight. He’s a photographer part time, he takes pictures for a bunch of UVA events. Tonight included. Jake, Bradley, Ryan and all of your friends. At least you’ll have support if it blows up in your face.
You’re running kind of late - traffic - the team’s already out on the field when you arrive. Paige is hurrying you along to grab seats. You spot the number fourteen out on the field immediately, white lettering on the back of Bradley’s Navy coloured jersey. You almost trip as Paige tugs at your hand, head whipping around to look at her, wide eyed.
She apologises but continues hurrying. Your eyes land on Ryan, he’s standing at the bottom of the stands with a camera up to his eye.
“I’ll catch up. I just wanna say hi.” You wave Paige off, already making your way over to him. It’s cold, almost February already, you’re wearing a big coat. He’s seen you naked plenty over the course of the last month, but you’re starting to worry that he’s going to figure it out just by looking at you. You stop by his side. “Hey.”
“Hey, baby,” Ryan smiles warmly, already reaching out for you with one arm as his other hand holds his camera. Your cheeks fill with heat as he kisses your mouth. You can feel your friends watching your interaction with him. Knowing what they know. Knowing he has no idea at all. “How’s my girl doing?”
You smile sheepishly at him. Your heart aches. You want this to work out so bad.
“Good. I’m good.” You tell him, leaning forwards to brush a curl back off of his face. He grins at the affectionate gesture. “I was thinking that maybe you and I could go for dinner after the game. I have something that I wanted to tell you.”
Ryan’s smile doesn’t falter in the slightest. He has no reason to think that it might be bad news. Well, it isn’t bad news. It’s just that he might consider it to be bad news. You know that you would if you were in his shoes.
“I’d love to.”
You hum happily, leaning in and kissing his mouth sweetly. Ryan’s arm squeezes around your waist, holding you close against him.
Bradley rolls his neck as he watches the interaction, then shakes his head softly and turns back towards his team. Jake shoots him a look and shakes his head. Bradley nods.
They have an agreement that Bradley is going to behave or Jake is going to have to break his nose.
As much as Bradley isn’t a fan of the idea, he has to admit that he doesn’t find Ryan much of a threat. You like him because he’s a musician and he can talk about his feelings. Bradley was in piano lessons until his sophomore year of high school and therapy until his freshman year. He’s experienced with both.
He’s taller, stronger - probably not smarter but has a lot else to offer. Bradley’s certain that if he put his mind to it, he would be able to knock Ryan’s skinny ass out of the picture with impressive speed.
But, his agreement with Jake prevents him from doing so.
Besides, Bradley has been thinking about it more and more. The more he continues to stand between you and whoever you decide to date, the more you’ll be on his ass about some kind of commitment. The kid is a big enough commitment. Bradley doesn’t need you pestering him for a ring too.
So, Ryan can stay. For a while, at least. As much as Bradley doesn’t like it, this is probably the best case scenario in terms of you dating someone else.
“Bradshaw, are you listening to me?”
Bradley looks towards his quarterback and nods firmly. He needs a clear head for tonight’s game. That would be easier if you weren’t swapping saliva with your new boyfriend in the stands. He’s got to figure out how to get over how mad it makes him to see you kissing someone else.
You take your seat with your friends, sipping on a soda instead of beer like everyone else. Just like you’ve been doing for over two months. They have no idea how they didn’t figure it out before.
The game begins and Bradley thinks that he’s going to be just fine. He plays just as well as he always does. He dodges a tackle and breaks into a sprint down the field. He slams the ball down into the grass as he reaches the end zone, securing the game’s first touchdown at the sixteenth minute.
He turns, grinning and finds you in the stands. Your nose is scrunched amusedly as his team celebrates with him excitedly, your arms in the air. You’re cheering for him.
There’s a flash, Bradley almost misses it. Ryan captures a picture of the smile on Bradley’s face as he finds you in the crowd, and has no idea. His team continues in the lead well into the second half of the game. Jake screws up a pass and the other team makes a touchdown, but Bradley’s performance tonight is making up for it.
You know that Jake’s pissed off that he’s off his game. He storms off of the field the moment the game’s done. His team might’ve won, but Jake doesn’t feel like a victor. Bradley, however, stands back and talks with his coach, laughing for a few minutes. Tonight was one of his best plays of the season, everyone knows it.
He walks towards the stands, ready to hit the showers and celebrate his triumph back at the house.
“Hey, Bradshaw!”
Bradley turns, lips quirking up into a smile as he finds you standing by the steps. He nods his head in acknowledgement as you walk towards him.
“Not a bad show, for an Eagles fan.” You tease him.
“Probably first time you’ve seen your team win. Longhorn.” He answers. He grins at you, letting out a soft chuckle as he opens his arms and pulls you tight against his chest. Your arms slide around his waist, laughing softly.
“Gross, you’re so sweaty.” You complain, pushing at his abdomen for release. Bradley scoffs and holds you just as tight against him. He hums in agreement, tightening his hold.
“Uh-huh.”
“Get off of me, you’re so gross.” You laugh, pushing at his stomach.
“C’mon, Seresin, can’t pretend that you aren’t into it.” He lowers his voice to tease you, his nose brushing playfully against the top of your ear as you squirm in his arms. “Me, all shirtless and sweaty - you, batting your eyelashes and giggling like a kid with a crush. That’s how it goes with us, right?”
“You’re an idiot.” You scoff, still grinning as you manage to wriggle out of his arms, pretending to shiver in disgust. He smiles.
Ryan’s brows furrow slightly as he watches the exchange.
It’s awfully friendly for two people who supposedly share only one common interest. That being your brother. He watches Bradley notice his presence first. Bradley doesn’t make an effort to pretend that this is more innocent than it is, but he forces himself to smile politely and make room for your boyfriend to join the conversation.
“Ryan.” The word slips from your mouth, giving away how surprised you are to have seen him. Bradley tries his best not to look smug.
“Hey, baby.” Ryan wraps an arm around your waist and leans in to kiss you. Your cheeks burn as you kiss his mouth quickly. You can feel Bradley watching you. You glance back at Bradley as you pull back. His face doesn’t give anything away.
“Still want to get dinner?” Ryan asks.
“There’s a party happening at our place to celebrate. If you guys wanted to.” Bradley looks at Ryan as he offers.
You look between the two of them, then shift closer to Ryan.
“Maybe another time. You did great tonight, Bradley.”
Bradley nods his head gratefully. He smiles, “Alright. You two have fun.”
You can’t pretend that you aren’t surprised that he seems to be so okay with this. Bradley turns and heads for the showers, thinking back to his agreement with Jake and how serious it could possibly be.
He has broken his nose before, it wasn’t that bad. Watching that loser drape his arm around you is certifiably worse.
“Is there something going on between you and Bradley Bradshaw?” Ryan asks it as he’s sitting opposite you, trailing his fingers along the edge of his beer bottle, avoiding your gaze.
Your brows furrow seriously, eyes going wide, “Me and - no, no. No. He’s just a friend.”
“You two seemed pretty close tonight.” Ryan explains, biting his cheek as he finally lifts his gaze to look at you. Now’s your chance to tell him. We’re only close because we’re having a baby together.
You can see it in his face that he’s insecure about what he saw between you and Bradley.
If you tell him that not only have the two of you had sex, but that you’re pregnant with Bradley’s baby, you can tell that it’s going to hurt him. It’s going to be worse if you don’t.
“He’s just Jake’s friend.” You blurt.
You know Bradley isn’t capable of being there for you like Ryan can. Bradley’s with some other girl tonight. You can expect more and more of that. Ryan wouldn’t do that to you. He’s here, and he wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.
“Okay. I believe you, I’m sorry.” Ryan breathes out. Your heart feels like it’s going to leap out of your throat the rest of the night.
It’s a restless night. Tossing, turning, trying to get your mind off of what a bad decision you have just made. You need to come clean. Things are over between you and Bradley - there wasn’t ever much to end in the first place. It was just sex. You just had sex twice. That’s it.
You fall asleep with your cheek pressed to Ryan’s shoulder, your arms looped around his bicep.
Ryan feels you stirring against him before the sun is up. His brows furrow, blinking softly. He turns his head and kisses your forehead softly.
“It’s okay.” He assumes that it’s a nightmare. You pull yourself closer to him, brows scrunched together, lips parted, letting a soft whine slip your lips.
Ryan slips his fingers between yours and squeezes your hand gently, closing his eyes and trying to slip back into unconsciousness.
The next sound that slips your lips is unmistakably a moan.
Ryan’s eyes shoot open.
“Babe?” He nudges you softly with his arm. Nothing. Another nudge and your lips press together. You pull back, blinking and then frown at him.
“What?” You groan.
Ryan’s lips quirk up into a soft smile, “Were you having a sex dream?”
Your eyes widen.
Ryan turns onto his side and leans forwards, kissing your lips. You try your best not to tense against him. It doesn’t mean anything. Bradley just got in your head, that’s it. Sex with Ryan is better, you know it is.
But, when you’re standing under the stream of the shower, letting water soak your hair - you can’t get the dream out of your head. It felt so real.
Bradley’s hands on your hips, lips working feverishly along your bare torso. Just like Halloween, you’re in his bed. His mouth stops as his teeth graze your hipbones, strong hands lifting your hips enough for him to settle between your legs.
Your head thrown back, fingers in his curls, back arching up off of his navy sheets.
You swallow and grab your shampoo. Ryan is better, Ryan’s more stable. Ryan didn’t have sex with your roommate last September. It was just a dream. You tell yourself that it didn’t mean anything.
You pretend that the sex with Ryan after you woke up was half as good as your dream with Bradley.
You glance down and trail your fingertips over your stomach. It’s not weird to be attracted to the person you’re having a kid with. That’s probably it. It’s purely hormonal. Maybe it’s guilt for not telling Ryan.
The dream circles through your head the entire day. You’re sitting in your morning class and thinking of being face down in Bradley’s mattress. In fact, you can’t think of anything else. In your afternoon class, all you can think about is his lips on your throat and his gruff voice in your ear. You press your thighs together and sit back in your seat. It isn’t fair.
You’re sitting at the back of the auditorium, not listening to a single word. In fact, you might as well not even be there. As far as you’re concerned, you’re in Bradley’s room. The breath is knocked from you as he pounds into you, you’re a whimpering mess, face pressed into the crook of your arm and his hand on the back of your neck keeping you there.
Then, you’re back home making dinner. Bradley’s hand roaming up your back, tangling in your hair and scooping it up into a makeshift ponytail. You gasping as he tugs at your roots, pressing his bare chest against your back, exposing your neck to him as his lips assaulted your throat.
You rutting your hips back against his, met with more force from him this time. He slides his fingers up into your hair, cradling the back of your skull as he presses you down and fucks you into the mattress.
You slice the tomatoes, blinking to trying to clear your head. It doesn’t work. His voice is in your head, telling you how good you feel, how close he is.
“What’s up, Seresin?”
You flinch, eyes blowing wide open when the voice isn’t just in your head anymore. Bradley watches as the knife slides past the tomato and into your index finger, he drops the bag onto the counter and moves to your side immediately.
“Fuck, are you okay?”
He takes your hand in his to examine the cut. You blink at him, lips parted. Bradley’s brows furrow slightly as he meets your gaze.
“Hello? - You with me?”
“What are you doing here?” You breathe out. Bradley guides you over to the sink, rinsing the blood from your finger.
“I texted you that I was bringing you dinner, wanted to talk about baby names. Your roommate let me in.” Bradley explains, tenderly rinsing the cut to inspect how bad it is. You lift your chin, still staring at him. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and jeans today. His cheeks are flushed from the cold outside. He looks at you and your mouth goes dry.
Bradley frowns, “What is up with you? - You’re gonna have to start talking or I’m calling Jake.”
“Nothing, nothing.” You shake your head quickly. “Long day. Sorry. I’ve been kind of spaced.”
“Where do you keep your first aid kit? - You just need a band-aid, it’s not that bad.” Bradley decides, giving you a reassuring smile. You point to the counter under the sink. He crouches before you and you jolt away from him. Bradley’s brows furrow slightly, but he gets the first aid kit without complaint anyway.
He stands back up and wraps the it around your index finger. You stare at him. Bradley lifts your hand and presses his lips to the top of the band-aid, “All better.”
Your knuckles whiten around the kitchen counter.
He turns away from you and back to the food he brought with him, “I asked Jake what your order is, since you didn’t answer me. Hope that’s okay.”
You watch the muscles in his back move under the thin fabric of his t-shirt.
“Y’know, your roommate looks kind of familiar. Is she over at UVA a lot?”
You narrow your eyes at him. The dream was just fiction. This is the real Bradley. You swallow, let out a breath and decide to move on.
…
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#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#miles teller#bradley bradshaw smut#rooster x you#rooster bradshaw imagine#top gun smut#my future in you
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The Queercoding of Pinky and the Brain
This originally was just me infodumping to my friends on discord, but I decided it might be interesting to some people on here, so I polished it up and made it an actual essay lmao
To start, we’re going to break this into 2 sections -- the relationship between the mice, and Pinky’s relationship with gender, because queercoding doesn’t just mean gay!
For a 90′s show, Pinky and the Brain (and its mother show, Animaniacs) was very progressive for its time! But there were still lots of things that they couldn’t slip by censors, and thus, that’s where we have to read between the lines. And that is something I wanted to clarify here before we dive in, the actual meaning of queercoding. It’s NOT the same as queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when the people producing certain media purposefully dangle the possibility of queer representation to lure in audiences (most prominent examples are BBC Sherlock, Riverdale, and Supernatural I GUESS? who knows abt that last one anymore), but never follow through, purely for profit. Queercoding is when media producers WANT to write in queer representation, but can’t, usually because the censors won’t let them. So, they must resort to subtext. (example: the policemen from Gravity Falls) It could also be unintentional, simply assigning certain characteristics associated with the LGBT community to characters. (example: Bugs Bunny, many Disney villains) Either way, it heavily relies on the audience picking up subtext, but whether it’s malicious or not varies, depending on the media. Bugs Bunny is an example of positive accidental queercoding, while a lot of Disney villains are negative examples.
Now, to actually discuss the gay little mice! Pinky and the Brain, whether it be intentional or not (based off comments from Maurice LaMarche, Rob Paulsen, and Tom Ruegger, signs strongly point to intentional, but it’s never been explicitly confirmed), is an example of positive queercoding.
There are many moments that I could pick out to discuss here, but we’ll start with some VERY on the nose gay metaphors.
Remember Romy? If you don’t, that’s their actual biological son! Romy came about due to a cloning accident, where their DNA got combined and spat him out.
There’s SO many things I could say about Romy. Every appearance he makes has an overarching gay metaphor as the plot. His first appearance in the episode Brinky (yeah it’s literally titled their ship name), it deals with his dads (WHICH I ALSO WANT TO POINT OUT, he DOES call them both dad, and they do both call him their son) disapproving of the fact that he wants to leave home and not follow in their footsteps of taking over the world. Brain even goes as far as disowning him whenever he tells him, which is certainly something a lot of queer people can unfortunately relate to. Also seen a lot in this episode is Pinky and Brain arguing even more than a married couple than usual, which pushes Romy away even further. Later, when Romy eventually does leave, and Brain starts to regret chasing him away, he tries desperately to reach out to him, but Romy doesn’t want anything to do with him. They end up tracking him down to an apartment building, where Romy is now living with his human girlfriend. When questioned about their relationship, the girlfriend, named Bunny, goes off on a tangent about how people shouldn’t judge others based on labels or relationships (hello?), and that Brain needs to be more tolerant. Brain apologizes and Romy forgives him. Happy ending.
Romy’s only other appearance is in the comics. Essentially, the plot of this one is that Brain wants to become the president of the local high school’s PTA, but he needs Romy’s help to make it look like he has a normal home life. He also enlists the help of Billie, the obligatory Woman introduced to make sure Brain doesn’t look as gay as he actually is, that he has a crush on. She pretends to be his girlfriend, and Pinky pretends to be Romy’s uncle, while they make up the story that Romy’s actual mother was lost at sea. Because if the organization found out that Brain has a son with a MAN??? THINK of the controversy! Anyway, the plan works, and Brain actually manages to get elected as president. Throughout this though, Pinky gets WEIRDLY jealous that Brain keeps brushing him aside for Billie. To the point where during Brain’s inauguration, Pinky actually dresses up as the wife/mother lost at sea and storms into the room.
[ID: Comic panels of Pinky, Brain, and Romy on stage at the inauguration ceremony. Pinky busts into room wearing drag, saying, “Yoo hoo! I’m back from years lost at sea to be with my son and ungrateful husband! Narf!” He then hugs Romy, while glaring at Brain. He goes on to say, “I’ll stand by your side, even though you left me behind!” The people in the audience begin to question this, saying, “Oh great fuzzy bangs!”, “What’d she say?!”, “He deserted her to be with that other woman!”, “What kind of monster is he?!”. Brain then rips off Pinky’s wig and says, “This isn’t my wife! This isn’t even a woman! It’s my roommate, Pinky.” Pinky replies, “Well, yes... But Romy really is my son! Poit!” And Brain responds, “N-Nonsense! He’s my son!” More people in the audience angrily speak up, saying, “What’s that?”, “He lives with a guy who likes to dress up in women’s clothing and the both claim to be that kid’s father!”, “Grumble! Mutter!” /END ID]
Needless to say, this doesn’t end well for them. What we can conclude from this is that homophobia exists in the Pinky and the Brain universe, and our characters are directly affected by it.
Moving on, And-There-Was-Only-One-Bed is a pretty common occurrence with these two. Their cage is big, they have plenty of room for two beds, but? They choose to sleep together? Even in some times where this has been inconsistent and they DO have separate beds, they’re always RIGHT next to each other. (what if we put our minecraft beds together ❤��)
I would like to mention the episode, You’ll Never Eat Food Pellets In This Town Again! This episode is interesting to say the least. Deals with a lot of the meta of the show. Anyway. In this episode, Brain has a nightmare that he’s in a loveless marriage with Billie. You know, the woman he’s supposed to have a crush on. In the end, he wakes up from the nightmare in the same bed as Pinky.
Speaking of female love interests, Pinky is seen having multiple relationships with characters of different species. Any time this is brought up by Brain, Pinky counters with Brain being too intolerant. An honorable mention with this is in Wakko’s Wish, when Pinky is with Pharfignewton, and Brain’s constant pestering about their relationship could be read as jealousy. Pinky needs a mousy date, after all!
Something else I would like to mention is in one episode (I forget what it’s called, I’ll try to look it up later and edit this), Brain is applying for a job. The employer asks Brain if he’s married, and Brain hesitates before saying he “has a roommate,” but that he’s occupied with his own things, which then cuts to a shot of Pinky applying lipstick.
Leading into part two of this essay, Pinky’s relationship with gender! Pinky has always been very gender nonconforming, and loves to wear dresses, do his makeup, and make himself look pretty. For the most part, this is played pretty straight, and not as a gag, like a lot of shows tend to do! It’s just a casual fact about him that he likes to present femininely sometimes.
This does play into their taking over the world plans pretty often, where Pinky wears drag, usually either to sneak into somewhere. Like in one of their earliest appearances on Animaniacs, Noah’s Lark, where they pose as a couple to board Noah’s, and I quote, “love boat.” After boarding, Noah says to himself, “Who am I to judge?” Okay. Yeah. Alright. Anyway.
I actually had less to say on this than I thought I did, but I wanted to make sure to emphasize that Pinky at the very least is coded as being Not Quite Cis, and that he’s played a key part in helping a lot of people watching the show figure out that they’re also Not Quite Cis.
Wrapping this up because I’m hungry, but I want to throw in some more honorable mentions that I really do not see any type of cishet explanations for:
They literally go on a romantic date at a very fancy restaurant in Brain’s Night Off. This is played extremely casually, and the only remark from anyone that they receive is that they are “much smaller than the usual clients.”
Pinky, on at least one occasion, daydreams about him and Brain being a married couple, and wanting to be a housewife (the original malewife ❤)
There’s an issue in the comics where Pinky has a crush on another male mouse, and when Brain gets annoyed, Pinky reassures him that he thinks Brain is cute and quite the catch too
Brain attempting to kiss Pinky in the reboot??????
Brain actually did conquer the world once in the Halloween special, because Pinky made a deal with the devil for it, and thus Pinky got sent to hell! Brain actually went to hell and gave up the world to bring him back
Brain was extremely close to conquering the world once more in the Christmas special, but after reading what Pinky’s feelings for him were (nothing romantic, just Pinky basically just praising Brain for being so hardworking and an amazing mouse, and lamenting that he never gets anything for it), he gets so emotional that he sabotages himself and wishes everyone a Merry Christmas instead
TLDR; these mice are very queer and need therapy, and are probably the most heavily queercoded characters that I can think of in children’s media.
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28 and gastina for the Drabble <3
"I have a surprise for you"
So for some context, this is an alternate version of what happened in S3E11
"The library is amazing, you should see it," Gastón said as they walked down the riverbank. He had come back on Thursday for the Open and they had spent that afternoon surrounded by everyone else. As it had been a school night, she had been unable to stay the night over at his.
Now it was Friday, and he had picked her straight from school, driven her to her Mom's house so she could change, and now they were here.
"It sounds amazing." she said running her other hand on his arm.
"Yeah," Gastón said and averted his eyes from her for a moment.
This wasn't the first time he had done it when he talked to her about Oxford. The other time she had though she had imagined it, but now she definitely had. "Is everything alright?"
"There is something I need to talk to you about." he led her sit down on a bench that was on the sidewalk, "I was supposed to do this yesterday, but since you didn't come with me after the open..."
"I had school the next day," she smiled at him, "You know very well that if I would have come, neither of us would have gotten that much sleep."
"You can blame that on the fact that I missed out."
"Anyway, what was it that you wanted to talk about?" she said trying to rewire her brain before she got too distracted.
"Yes, that," Gastón said taking deep breath, "I lied, yesterday."
"About what?" Nina tried to wrack her brain what he had said yesterday that could have been a lie...
"I am not leaving in two days," he clarified.
"You mean you are leaving now?"
"No, I am not leaving now, or tomorrow or day after that. I am not leaving."
"At all? But why?" She didn't understand.
"I'm not going to lie to you. I was dreadfully at Oxford. Sure the school was grand and classes well taught and my roommates were nice, but it just wasn't for me. It has been very clear while I have been here for maybe 36 hours, I am already happier than I have been in months. I don't need to stop and calculate the time difference before calling to Matteo because I just realized that I thought something I wanted to say to him. I don't need to write down months worth of Mom and Dad's schedule to figure out when I can reach them. I don't need to wake up every morning just to realize that I can't have you I'm my arms that day. I know I should have told you, but I probably didn't because I was still coming to terms with the fact, that Oxford was not what I wanted, myself."
"So... So you are staying here?"
"Yes, I'll start in the same university that Matteo goes to next week. All the transfer paperwork and stuff have been done." He squeezed her hand and Nina noticed that she had been staring into space for a while now. "Hey, you okay? You are happy that I am staying, right?"
She snapped back into reality and jumped to his neck. "Of course I am. Juts, I thought there was something wrong with you, but I never asked since I though I was being selfies and just imagining since I wanted you to come back."
***
"I see you told her," Isla was sitting in the living room with her computer when Gastón opened the door for Nina.
"They knew alredy?" Nina asked him as they entered the foyer.
"Well I had to inform them that I'd be back to crash here," he laughed. Telling his parents about giving up Oxford had actually been the hardest part of all of this. He didn't want to disappoint or let them down since they had been so adamant about the fact that he would go there since they could provide him the best education possible. They wanted to give him the changes they never got. "That was definitely the scariest thing. I could have easily been disowned."
"Don't you ever speak about something like that," his mother came to hug him as they entered the living room. "Only thing we in the end want is you to be happy."
"And everything that makes me happy is right here," he said snaking his arm around Nina's waist, pulling her closer to him. He was sure that he was not going to be able to keep his hands off her now, when he had been forced to for months.
"Nina, are you staying overnight?" his mother asked her. He tightened his arm around her, just to make sure she wouldn't say no...
"Of course I will."
"You two get to sort dinner out for yourself then. Marco is in an overnight conference and I'll have to work late. I have two clients that I need to see, and there is a bidding war over a Manor-house a little bit more up north that I need to supervise. But I truth that you two adults can handle it." She gave Gastón a kiss on the cheek before heading out of the door, "It is good to have you back darling."
"Now the only thing left is to tell Matteo," Gastón said as they settled down on the couch after his mother had left.
"He doesn't know either?" Nina said as she leaned her head on his chest.
"Yeah. No one knows," he didn't really even know why he had kept this all such a secret. Maybe it had been because he had been a bit afraid of letting everyone down, since Oxford was -ln paper- such a good chance. "I was in denial about so long. Others can find out through word of mouth or something. But I wanna tell Matteo personally."
"I am sure Matteo will be so happy that he'll shout it from the rooftops."
"You mean you won't?" he asked her teasingly running his hand on her right ear.
"No, I am so happy, that maybe I don't wanna tell anyone. Maybe I wanna keep you all to myself," Nina said in a little flirtier tone. She was terrible at flirting but he didn't mind. She slid her arms around his neck pulling herself closer to him. "Once they know, you are going to be in high demand. You'll have to join the team again, especially since we lost Ramiro."
"I know but I am actually looking forward to that." he smiled at her, "But don't worry, I'll have so much time for you that you'll get sick of me."
"I was just joking."
"I know." he pulled her on his lap and kissed her hungrily.
***
"I can't believe that you are staying!" Matteo said excitedly as he, Gastón and Nina were towards Roller. "Plus I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"
"Well sorry about that." Gastón rolled his eyes at him. "If it makes you feel better. You are the fourth person who I never told. No one else knows, but I guess the need to, since I understand you need more skaters for the team."
"I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR ALL OF YOU!" Matteo shouted as they entered Roller. Luna, Simon, Pedro, Nico, Delfi, Jazmin, Jim and Yam were sitting on the tables, probably discussing the video. "they all looked up as three of them."
"Gastón, shouldn't you be at the airport right now?"
And that's it! Got that actual Prompt there as well. This doesn't feel like my best work, writing-wise but I have thought about this so long. This is how it all should ahve gone down and he should have stayed
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Happy coming out day!
I wanted to post something bc... idk, I've been thinking about identity and learning about yourself and how that's been difficult for me all my life. Tbh for most of my life, I identified more or less by my special interests - if someone asked about me, the most important things about me were I loved books & animals. That was me. That was about all I knew about me.
It's been a weird process of meeting myself over the past 7-8 years. I came out as bisexual around 22 or 23 (time is fake, okay). This was uh. After my partner informed me that I had too many girl crushes to be straight. 😂 It made sense, but I needed someone else to point it out first.
Then I figured out I was autistic when I was 26. Again... partner suggested it, my roommate immediately agreed, so I went "well shit" and started researching. That made the above things make a lot more sense. It's hard to figure out who you are when you're in survival mode, and trying to be whoever the people around you want you to be.
Then over the past couple years, I've been kind of side eyeing gender like "hmm. I haven't poked at you yet." I started poking... and started going by they/them pronouns about 1.5 years ago. I posted about using them last year on this day and was very thrown off that it's been a whole year. It's felt more and more comfortable and right all that time.
So now I'm 31, and I just came out to my dad as nonbinary tonight. It went surprisingly well - I didn't think he'd flip or disown me really, but was prepared for refusal to try using my pronouns or disinterest or something. But he wants to learn and try, and if I'm patient with him, I think we'll get there. I know I got extremely lucky with that. Next up is my sister in the next couple weeks when she has time. I'm hopeful that will go well too - I know she's discussed LGBT issues with my oldest nephew before and told me about him defending a trans boy in his class from a bully (🥺😭💜).
It feels like I'm late to the party, kinda, but also I know it's just my own journey. And that the timing is right for me because this is when it's happened. It's been surprisingly enjoyable to meet myself over the past 6 years. I'm finally starting to like myself. I never really expected that, but it's nice.
I dunno. I just wanted to share. To any of my followers out there who can't come out, or who haven't met themselves yet, or are feeling alone in struggling with all of this, I send my love. You're not alone. We see you. You belong in the family, no matter if you're out or not. We'll be here when you're ready. Just hang in there.
#fbw rambles#not animal related#just kinda rambling#have been thinking about all of this today#my next big gender mission is to figure out fashion i like and find clothes I'm actually happy to wear#so far I'm eyeing suspenders and vests#the sensory issues do not help at all with fashion struggles sigh#no collars no ties no long sleeve shirts#that gets a bit limiting with men's clothing#oh well we'll see
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What On Earth Has Happened
Hey, no story here, no experiments. Just a play by play of an awful year in my life. Please don't reblog. Trying to just get it down in one place for people who care about me. Long, sob-story beneath the cut.
Air - 'Things are looking up!' I had started to drift a bit from tumblr. The porno purge came and a lot of my friends trickled off the platform after that. I went back to school, attempting to score myself a Masters degree in something that would pay enough to get me out of Student Debt. I was doing great, picking things up fast. I got a new job at a company doing pretty menial work, but the people I worked with were great conversationalists. The work didn't involve dealing with customers at all, paid well, and was small and accomplishable tasks. Essentially I was being prepped to take a better position at the place once I had my Masters. Covid happened, then. Earth - 'The Whole World Sucks Right Now' My company was "essential," so I continued going to work, now on weird schedules. The company I worked for was profiting off Covid, all the while making fun of it as an overblown conspiracy, even as their own epidemiologist urged them to take better precautions. Work became hard to swallow. Water - 'When your lowest place could be lower' The apartment I shared with my boyfriend flooded. The lowest place in any sewage system is typically the bathtub, such that if it backs up, it does so into that tub. Our lowest point is the toilet. So the apartment flooded. Three times. Roots growing through the sewage outflow meant that, often, you needed to wait a solid hour between toilet flushes, or else the toilet would back up with such gusto the sewage would slosh down the hallway and into the living room. We mopped many times. The problem was finally fixed 8 months later, necessitating our having to camp because our house had no water. Fire - 'To destroy all you've done' One afternoon, I smelled burning. Going to our bedroom, I found our shelf a column of flame. I could barely breathe for all the smoke, but I managed to grab a blanket and beat the fire out. On the other side of the room, the pages of the books upon another shelf had begun to crisp from the heat, the blinds on all the windows were warped. The whole apartment had been about to go up. I'm kinda scared of fire now. Heart - 'When moving is too much to ask' Personal health sorta hit a new low. Migraines kept me out of work for two full weeks. I have seasonal foot pain, I always assumed from hiking for a living in my 20s. Turns out it was gout, all the while. Gout is exceptionally painful: it's like a messy pile of razor blades in the ball of your foot every time you step down. At work, I could barely stand. Walking from my car to the door became something I needed to psyche myself up for. Not a lot can stop a gout flare-up once it's in full swing, so I just had to wait it out. For a month. Two. Some of the worst sustained pain I've been in. Little did I know that, in January, come the kidney stones. Kidney stones feel awful. Feel like total shit. Gout and kidney stones are comorbid--brought about as a result of the meds I take to help me focus. So any day I don't drink enough water is a day when my kidneys or my foot just starts aching. But going back to September of 2020... Homophobia - 'goddammit' Finally things are looking better. I'm limping quickly again. Then I am called into the HR office. I am told that two sexual harassment charges have been brought against me. I'm told that one individual has alleged that I, while in the restroom, used a reflective toilet brush to attempt to peep him under a stall wall. I did not do this. I do not understand--reflective toilet brush?? wtf. The second allegation: I just straight up looked over a stall at a guy. I didn't do this either. I'm asked to defend myself, I ask who or date or time of day. I am given nothing. I remark that I don't think I'm tall enough to see over the stall, and I do not understand about the toilet brush. Of the ten minutes of the meeting, I spend 8 of them trying to get my head around how a claim about a reflective toilet brush has me here. "Would you like us to go now to see if you're tall enough to see over the stall? If that would help your defense?" says the HR head. "Yes, I
would," says I. We did not go. I am told that the accusers have no reason to be collaborating, or to even know each other made a claim. This is bullshit, because it was a company of 80 people, and only a quarter of those employees used the restroom where my alleged harassment was to have taken place. Before I am dismissed from work for the day to go home and wait to find out if I'll be fired or not, I march into the HR office once more and say "I hope none of this is happening because I'm gay." The HR head looks positively offended. I got fired cuz I'm gay. Next day I got a call. They'd come to the "objective truth" (that phrase is burned in my mind), and were terminating me. Apparently they discounted the toilet brush rumor, after all. But they really honestly believed I looked over the stall at a dude. Nightmare - 'No Fear One Fear' Let me tell you something: this is a nightmare. This is my honest-to-god nightmare. I've been terrified of getting accused of something in a bathroom since I was 11 years old. I am incredibly self-conscious and careful in public restrooms. To be fired? From a place full of people I like? And all of them will think I'm a pervert. My boyfriend worked at the same place. He would now have to work there every day dealing with people looking at him and wondering what he must think of his boyfriend. That sent me on a spiral. I'm still out of work, almost a year later. It would have been the worst mental health crisis of my life if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my support network, and the meds I've finally been able to get ahold of. Oh, also. My two accusers? Were roommates. HR knew they were roommates. They basically collaborated on a story to get me fired. The story circulating around the place (I still have acquaintances I talk to working there) has dropped the reflective toilet brush entirely. I guess they thought it was too unbelievable. So anyway, the people who accused me are now telling a different set of events than what I was told. Absolute horse shit. Tried to go to my city's human right's council to see if my situation warranted further attention. I gave my side of the story--including tales of the straight manager who had had enough harassment charges brought against him that he was no longer allowed to meet female staff--which indicated I'd been treated differently and wrongly. My old job made an impassioned argument that the committee violated their First Amendment rights(?) ('Freedom of speech' is the biggie with the First Amendment, for people who cba re:USA). I won the vote!! But one member of the committee was missing. So there weren't enough people for the vote to pass. Dismissed. We took it to the EEOC to make an official federal complaint. Just a week ago, an agent of the US Government patiently explained to us that these laws are literally designed to fuck over the worker and protect the employer unless they are epically stupid, and unfortunately, mine had not been epically stupid. So there's nowhere to go, no recourse to be had. It's over, I guess. Family - 'How to sum it up quickly...' My family hit me with the old soft-disown. No more calls, no more communication. They think they are loving me by not having contact with me. By depriving me of my family, they hope it will make me realize that the path I'm on is destructive, and I'll return to them living an upright life. No. I'm living an upright life, now. And if my family can choose to throw me away, then they are not a family I choose. Then my dad hit me back two months later, absolutely gaslighting me and pretending we never had the disown conversation at all. Reality - 'I don't know who I am anymore' I have trouble knowing what's real, anymore. Every message my dad sends on the surface seems loving and supportive and plaintive. I feel I must be the one in the wrong. I got fired for bullshit reasons. It doesn't feel real. "My family can't possibly have ceased contact with me: that's one of those things I know can never happen!!" But that did happen. So what else that feels real, actually isn't? I do
mean to be so dramatic, and I won't apologize for it. But I truly do feel like my mind has been pretty thoroughly unseated by the last year. Whoever I am, I'm becoming someone different. More distilled, at very least. I've discovered a lot of things about myself: trauma that has likely led to a lot of my mental health problems. Discovered I actually have RAGING ADHD, and it has robber me of a lot of things I wanted to do, and now is sort of consuming me completely. I'm looking for help. Trying to get better. Here's hoping. Every bold point above could be its own book, for all my thoughts about them. But enough of that for now. Love you. Thanks for reading.
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Closets & Wendy’s.
“Last day of Pride!”
Dean projects himself onto Cas’s bed, ending up sprawled on his front, with an arm slung over Cas’s lap.
On receiving no more greeting than Cas’s hand landing in his hair and starting to card through it, he lifts his face from the comforter, props himself up on his elbows - chin tucked in a palm - and stares at his boyfriend.
Cas looks upset.
The corners of his lips tilt passively downwards, eyebrows carrying most of the weight of his frown.
“Cas?” Dean asks, neutrally - already regretting his overhyped entrance.
“I’m sorry- I don't feel -”
Words fade out, and Cas pauses. Then he turns to actually look at Dean, the sadness seeped into his eyes, and Dean doesn’t waste a moment getting up, knee-waddling over into Cas’s space and pulling him close.
Cas comes easily, planting his head on Dean’s shoulder, and exhaling a tired breath when Dean runs a hand over his back.
“What are you feeling?” Dean asks, after a beat, now trying to soothe Cas’s tense shoulders, rubbing gently over the cotton. Cas leans into his touch.
About three years of therapy, and nearly six years of being roommates - undergrads, and then actual friggin’ grad school - with Cas, basically Dean’s personal mascot for healthy communication, has led him to definitely know that it’s always a better alternative to talk about what you are going through, instead of what you aren’t.
(Or, you know, what you think you should be, just because your dumb, insensitive boyfriend who’s been obsessed with Pride since finally coming out and-slash-or best-friending up with Charlie Bradbury, is. And rather loudly, at that, because Dean Winchester’s a goddamn idiot.)
“Disappointment.” Cas says, morosely, but almost as soon as he hears his own words, he rephrases. “Uh. I’m the disappointment.”
“Well, did you secretly sneak out and mark yourself absent for the entire semester in all your 4.0 GPA classes when I wasn’t looking?”
“Dean.”
“Fine, 3.7.” Dean throws back. “Big friggin’ deal, nerd.” Cas lets out a huff of breath which almost resembles a chuckle, and Dean squeezes his arm around Cas. “You know that would’ve totally been a four if I’d been less distracting.”
“Interesting.” Cas corrects.
“Hot.” Dean throws back, just because he knows it’ll make Cas crinkle into one of his fond ‘what-do-I-do-with-you’ smiles. It does.
“Perfect.” And Cas throws in a sigh, as if to solidify his point, and leans in to nuzzle Dean’s neck in a way so intensely Cas, that if anyone else had ever tried it, he’d either end up being tickled to death, or running the hell out of dodge.
“We’re on you right now, Cheesy McCheesington.” Dean smiles back, and goes on.
He’s not willing to let Cas close up into a ball of repressed emotions with happy only on the outside. That’s way more Dean’s thing - or rather, used to be. He knows he’s bettered his coping mechanisms. Mostly because every part of his life involves Cas now, and anything with Cas is good.
They’ve grown a lot together - grown through a lot as well, and this is how they’ve done it. By talking through, the Castiel way. It still throws Dean off sometimes, how far they’ve gotten.
So when Cas whines in protest into Dean’s shirt, he knows exactly how to turn it into a side-hug. One of those, where they end up staring at each other from a three-inch distance.
Staring hard, Dean says it. “You’re the farthest thing from a disappointment, Cas. To anyone.”
The lecturers all adored him, their friends made it a point to keep proclaiming their affection out loud (thank god for Charlie Bradbury and co.), and Dean doesn’t think he could be more proud of Cas if he tried.
He was a goddamn wonder.
He’d gone from a lanky, private-schooled, what’s-a-Star-War schmuck to one of Dean’s favorite people in the world. He was hilarious, and a genius, and kind. He’d grown into his shoulders, and into a stubbly kind of an age, and into this awesome, intelligent, pancake-making man of Dean’s dreams, and into his bee obsessions and organizational neatness - and complete, total perfection.
(Dean needs him, appreciates him, and (not that subtly - to his credit), loves him in a forever sort of way.)
But before Dean’s properly began to remind Cas of any of it, he’s interrupted.
“I’m disappointing me, Dean.”
There’s resignation in his tone, and evidence in every word he says.
“June’s over. Again. And for all the marching with painted cheeks and the megaphones? For all the parades, and the celebrations of our identities, the togetherness, the being proud of being ourselves?” Cas lets out, bitterly, and Dean realizes he knows where Cas is going with this. “And I still haven’t come out to my family.”
Dean waits, sure that Cas isn’t finished.
“How have I not done it yet?” Cas hisses, and it almost startles him - he’s swapped the upset for angry. It’s rarer. “I’ve known since I was a teenager - and we’ll have been together for five years in three months, Dean, and I just - I cannot believe I still can’t do it.”
He sounds helpless, and Dean wants to jump in, but he needs Cas to get the words out first.
“What’s the matter with me? Am I not brave enough, or strong enough - or am I still hanging onto the hope that they’ll suddenly become better human beings and not disown me when I tell them?” Cas scoffs.
He’s pissed at himself.
“Maybe I still lack, as you say, free will.”
Dean has to step in at that. “That was six years ago, and you know I wouldn’t say it now.”
“Why not?” Cas challenges. “I couldn’t tell them then, either. I clearly haven’t changed.”
“Other things, Cas.” Dean says, and grits his teeth. This isn’t supposed to be them yelling. Cas is frustrated, and Dean’s listening - he can’t be frustrated back at him for the way he expresses it. “Other things have changed.”
Cas gives him a look, but Dean holds his end of it until it crumbles. Cas changes his offense. Mellows down - probably when he sees Dean’s restraint. “This is important to me. I want to do it. Then why can’t I tell them?”
He’s asking himself, but he’s also asking the only person who knows him as well as he knows himself, yet he’s also not asking at all - simultaneously, it’s also rhetorical.
Dean licks his lips.
“Whatever be the answer to that, Cas, first things first. This doesn’t imply you’re not proud enough.”
Cas looks away.
“Or, for that matter, not panromantic or demisexual enough.”
Sigh. Shuffle, shift. And then he looks back up at Dean. The tears weren’t there before. “How do you know, Dean?”
“‘Cause I know this doesn’t decide that.”
“Why not?” Cas says, quietly.
“‘Cause,” He repeats. “How queer you are isn’t measured on a scale of how soon you come out once you know.” He pauses, judges the air. “It usually isn’t measured at all, unless we’re talking about a magical thing known as the Kinsey Scale.”
He judged right.
Cas coughs, and it’s definitely to disguise a reluctant snicker.
“And you know, even if it were measured on the weird first thing,” Dean adds, serious again. “There’d totally be a different clause, and a separate key, mind you, for the people with douchebag families.”
“They prefer conservative, I think.” Cas says, smally, after an entire minute, as if he’d actually been rerunning Dean’s speech in his head for that long.
Dean shrugs.
Cas almost smiles. He’s calmed down.
“The strange thing is that it makes no sense.” He begins, heavy, albeit less severe on himself. “I’m twenty six. We co-own this apartment, and we pay our bills. We’re completely independent.” It never stops sounding surreal. That’s for another time. “Mother calls me on third Sundays, Gabriel sends Christmas cards. Other than that, I only spend Thanksgiving lunches with them, each year more horrible than the last. I know I wouldn’t miss any of them, nor regret being written out of the will. Or have my Novak cemetery spot passed onto Michael’s oldest. Or the gardener.”
Dean snorts at that. The Novaks are truly something else.
“There is no reason I can’t just come out. I just -” Cas cuts into his own sentence with a sigh, one signifying that he’s finally done speaking, and he reclaims Dean’s shoulder once more.
What’s important right now, is to make him feel better. A resolution to this isn’t within grasp at the moment, and Cas sounds drained. Dean - well, he does what he does best. He segues.
“Wait.” Cas lifts his head. “You didn’t actually say you’re not out, did you?”
Cas squints at him.
“Dude. Being out doesn’t just mean telling your family. And getting subjected to toxicity and trauma, by means of it.” Dean points out, earnest. By that logic, courtesy of a long-dead mom, and a relatively-shorter-dead dad, he’s in the closet as well. “Hell, you put your hand in my back pocket at KFC, yesterday.”
“Oh.” Cas blinks.
Dean grins, and Cas’s surprise makes it easy to do so. “You bet my publicly grabbed ass, it counts.”
Cas knows it counts. He knows everything that counts. But he indulges himself, and he indulges Dean - his bad mood slowly dissipating. “What else?”
“You kissed me at Wendy’s last week.” Dean informs him, eyebrows raised. “Held my hand for a really long time in a Starbucks queue on Saturday. Oh, and all the gay bars count, buddy. Especially the bits where we grind on the dance floor, and then I blow you in the stall.”
Cas opens his mouth to protest that has only happened once, but Dean meets his eyes with a pointed look. He’s got to bring it up.
“Every time I’ve ever taken you to a steak joint counts too. ‘Cause trust me, those are always dates, whether you know it or not.”
“Long drives are a date to you.” Cas deadpans.
“Yeah, and Baby will never say you’re not out.” Dean throws back, and Cas actually makes it to a smile this time. Dean’s left feeling accomplished. (And sort of dazed, because it’s going to take a lot more than six years for him to get used to Cas being so easily beautiful, and being it right next to him.)
“You said you loved me for the first time at the Roadhouse.” Cas says.
Dean blushes.
“And then you ran away before I could react, got really drunk and karaoke’d I’m Too Sexy on the stage, and passed out on my lap right as I tried to say it back to you.”
This is definitely not his favorite story, but it always lights Cas up, and that’s all that matters, really - so he rolls his eyes half-heartedly and Cas smiles wider.
Silence prevails for a moment.
“Look.” Dean ends up being the one to break it. Cas listens, hanging onto each word. “You’re the only one who knows why you can’t do it, okay? My best guess would be an internalized decision to avoid conflict. Maybe you call your old therapist tomorrow - like, I dunno, a cameo from Castiel, unresolved coming-out issues sorta thing. Of course, we can talk about it too. Get six cheeseburgers and twelve beers, and figure things out on your own. But it’s up to you.” Cas exhales into a little smile. “All I know is, it doesn’t matter to anyone that you haven’t told your family, if it doesn’t matter to you.
Cas nods, a couple of times, and there’s the barest hint of tears again, but this time doesn’t make Dean want to punch God.
It makes him want to hug Cas, so he goes for it.
“Even if you were in the closet, Cas? I’d say the same.” Dean adds, as an afterthought, about a minute into a hug which doesn’t seem to be nearing an end. Not really. No one minds, so there’s that. “This community, this month - everything about Pride is about all of us, and if Charlie’s ever called me handmaiden, trust me she’s said this a million times. It means everyone. Includes people in the closet, every bit as those who’re out.”
Cas hums in agreement, and tilts his head against Dean’s.
“In any case,” Dean teases. “Your family’s over in Illinois, anyways. Here, where it counts? You’re as out as you can be.”
“I could kiss you in more Wendy’s.” Cas contemplates, because he’s awesome like that.
“What has Burger King ever done to you?”
Dean listens to him considering it with a thoughtful note, and mutters a “Dork.” It helps keep him grounded for he feels like he’s floating right now - ‘cause there’s something about the way Cas holds onto him. Tighter.
Like somehow, even after all this time, they managed to fall a little more in love today.
And somehow, they’ll keep doing it forever.
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