#my problematic messed up best friend

[devotedlystrangewizard]

black sails is still so insane like yeah! here you go! fun pirate show! heres the utter torment that is being queer in this time period. heres several episodes setting up an m - f - m love triangle before they reveal it was far FAR more complicated than that. here are lesbians. everyone fucking sucks. have fun

[jinxificada]

leave it to her.

troublemaker!jinx x people pleaser!reader

summary: for once, you were taken care of.

notes: nsfw, modern au, wc 2,7k. no proofread. Heh, this is for my bottoms out there !! might change the title lmao..

ཻུ۪۪ ༄࿐༉⁎ ⁺

never, in a million years, you would’ve thought that you’d see jinx crying. definitely not in such a… helpless way.

you were on your way to have lunch at the greenery of the campus, if you were lucky you’d find a nice spot under a tree, but the soft grass under the sun would suffice too. you had a red, juicy apple in hand, a novel in the other and your pretty purse on your shoulder. you were planning to do the best you could with that free period.

that is, until you casually find the blue haired girl crying under the bleachers.

it was out of character, way too far.

you’ve known jinx since… forever. though you doubted she ever noticed you, she definitely caught your eye from a very young age.

you didn’t know much about her home life, apart from rumors and gossip full of inconsistencies, her life history was a mystery. but you just knew something happened around the age of thirteen, because that’s when her personality had a huge change.

from the cheerful, creative, social butterfly powder to the obnoxious, short tempered, problematic jinx. it wasn’t from a day to the other, of course not, but you vividly remember when she mutated skins.

it started by her getting weirdly quiet. it was just strange for you not to hear her loud giggles and excited volunteers to participate in class. sometimes, she would even skip them. then you noticed that she pulled away from everyone. her former friends were mindlessly brushed off as she preferred to sit quietly alone.

she started getting in troubles. kids would accuse her from stealing stuff, such as pencils or lunch money. it got messy real quick, after all, they couldn’t ignore it when it was at least six to seven kids assuring it was her who committed the crimes. parents got involved, but apparently her father handled it very well because soon enough nobody cared anymore.

growing up jinx developed a punk, dark style that got you obsessed for awhile. and she played the part, discussing with the teachers and challenging the authorities, she really seemed to hate the system. and her classmates.

now, maybe, just maybe, you had a crush on her. and you could’ve do something about it, if it wasn’t because she scared the shit out of you.

jinx was a walking trouble. wherever she went, whenever it was, with whoever she wanted. her patience was extremely low and it was obvious she found joy in making others miserable. younger kids were more likely to be her victims, but some classmates were unlucky enough to get involved too.

she never messed with you. and your most logical explanation was that she simply didn’t care about your existence. and why would she? you two were… polar opposites.

while jinx was pure chaos, you were an angel.

everyone’s favorite, specially teachers. not that you were exactly a nerd, but that didn’t matter. so what if you weren’t academically smart? you were adorable, enthusiastic and kind. even the most strict and harsh teacher would feel happy to see your hand raising in their class and answer to your dumb questions. in fact, they’ll use you as an example to encourage others to satisfy their curiosity by learning.

socially, you were a bit awkward, but you always meant well! there isn’t a club you haven’t been a member of, or a student council activity you haven’t volunteered for. you gave free tutoring, shared your lunch to those who didn’t bring enough money, helped carry books or homework models from one side of the school to the other.

in conclusion, you were a sweetheart.

this comes from an early age. when your parents proudly bragged to their friends about how ‘quiet’ and such a ‘well behaved’ kid you were. sure you’ve got yourself in a few little incidents. like stealing a chocolate from the store when you accompanied your mom do groceries. bringing stray animals to your house because you were worried they’d have to sleep alone and making your parents deal with them. or getting caught red handed magnetically reading your father’s porn magazine.

silly little accidents.

you were simply the kindest soul alive. of course you wouldn’t ignore someone crying alone.

your shy steps alerted jinx quickly, her head snapped up and her bloodshot eyes stared at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“what do you want?” she aggressively asked you, there was a vulnerability in her tone that squeezed your heart.

“um, i have tissues.”

your hands trembled as you rummaged through your bag, rushing to kneel in front of her and hand them over. you needed to comfort her, but you also wanted this to end as soon as possible.

her already pouty lips formed a frown, hesitating for a long minute before snatching it from your hand to blow her nose. not another word came out from her, not even thank you.

it was awkward, to stare at her while she cleaned up her wet face. your eyes traveled down to the floor, clearing your throat. “it’s a nice day.”

jinx only scoffed. glancing at you for a brief second before focusing on the tissues. then, she threw it away and placed her chin on her forearms as she hugged her knees, going back to that gloomy energy.

you were unsure, because she didn’t quite asked you to leave, but it seemed that her mind was elsewhere. what do you say now? you didn’t want to pry, in fact, you didn’t even want to know what was tormenting her.

then why did you stay?

you moved slowly, as if any sudden movement would make her notice your presence, you sat next to her, maintaining a respectful distance.

well, grass is grass. though neither the sun nor the wind hit your face like you’d want, it was a quiet, calming spot. so you opened your book and read.

it wasn’t like jinx didn’t notice you, or cared. there was something about your mere presence, it brought her a sense of peace. she kept crying, but she didn’t sob anymore. jinx kinda wanted to scoop closer, to make you round your arms around her and rest her head on your chest. that’s how welcoming your vibe was.

she didn’t, obviously. you both just sat there in silence, the noise of your pages turning and her quiet sniffing, along with the distant laughter from the students, were the only sounds heard.

you could tell jinx’s mind was complex, that was clear like water. it was inviting, the complexity of her person. to be the one to figure her out would be a big accomplishment, but ending up harmless was not reassured. if only you could ask her why was she crying.

she wouldn’t tell you, anyway. how could she explain the pain of her memories, the grief and difficulty in her relationship with her sister?

nightmares were easier to manage. one can wake up sweaty in the security of their home and they’ll be alone, with no eyes to judge your trauma. but the nightmares transformed into sudden flashbacks in the middle of a class, the heartbeat quickens at a scary pace and the breathing gets heavier. and jinx thought, only for a second, that she might die right there.

you didn’t ask her, and she appreciated it. because your presence comforted her in a way no one, and nothing, could ever do.

jinx left first. she had spent the majority of the hour looking at the floor, occasionally grunting, muttering stuff you couldn’t comprehend. but she stared at you for quite some time. she found herself relaxing at the sight of your fingers following the words you were reading, paying attention to the smallest details in your actions. like the little puffs of air and the way your chest rises, jinx’s own breathing started to match yours at some point.

it sent shivers down her spine when she realized. neither of you says a word when jinx suddenly gets up, shook the dirt on her jeans and walked away.

you thought it was over, how silly.

next day you were welcomed by stares and giggles, firstly you just thought everyone was being super friendly. until you got to your locker.

the word ‘dyke’ shined in a fluorescent pink, other small drawings filled the free space. it wasn’t strange for students to decorate them, but this clearly wasn’t your doing, and it was extremely striking compared to your quiet personality. that was jinx’s handwriting.

you chuckled to yourself in disbelief, naively tried to brush a hand to clean it with no success and you hear more laughing. you glance away from your locker, just then you notice people made a round to watch you, some even took evidence with pictures. your cheeks reddened intensely, and you tried laughing with them, to pay no mind to the aggression of it all and laugh it off.

you were boiling anger.

escaping the spotlight wasn’t easy, but you make it to the furthest bathroom. you felt like screaming, your breathing was heavy and little tears tickled the corner of your eyes.

what did you do to deserve it? is that how the universe pays you for being nothing but kind to people? you knew half of the students that were laughing at you. you helped them pass their exams, paid for their lunch, listened to their problems when no one else would. and then they laughed at you.

and what was so funny? how did they even know you were into women? were you that obvious?

while you were processing that and much more in you mind, someone else entered the bathroom. your head snapped towards them, scoffing loudly when you realize.

“dyke?” your voice rumbling in the empty room made jinx giggle, she closed the door and swiftly locked it. there was a very different air coming from her, she looked joyful, lively and mean.

her little mocking smile pretended to look innocent as she battled her lashes at you.

“dyke.” she shrugged, approaching you slowly. you felt cornered, like a prey.

“w—why?”

“w—why not?”

you huffed in frustration, stepping back to try and keep some distance, but she wasn’t having it. “did i offend you? yesterday?” you asked, unable to hold back the little tears.

jinx doesn’t answer, but her demeanor softens noticeably. she reached to brush her thumbs on you cheeks, she felt the warmth of your blush and her heart fluttered. she felt so giddy that it scared her, suddenly pulling back.

“what a dumb question.” she scoffed, messing with her hair as she turned to the mirror, fixing her appearance to her liking. you saw how she purposely smudged her eyeliner and you mentally agreed. it suited her. “when will you learn to mind your own business?” she added your name to the end of the question and it threw you off.

“huh?“ jinx looked at you with nonchalance, slightly amused at your confusion. “what do you mean?”

“you’re always behind other people, offering a helping hand and what not— it pisses me off.” her voice got progressively more annoyed. “you’re only losing time, did anyone help you back out there?”

“w—well, no, but—“

you couldn’t think of anything. she was right, she also approached you again, and her closeness affected you quickly, snatching the words from your mouth.

“b—b—but.”

you grunted, hiding your face in your hands as you leaned back on the wall. “stop it, stop.”

“i’m not doing anything!” she chuckled, comfortably placing herself next to you with her shoulder pressed to the cold surface to face you better. you couldn’t see her, but there was little hearts in her eyes as she gazed you.

“what’s wrong with lesbians, anyway…?” you used your last defense, muffling your words softly against your hands.

which you quickly pulled away when you felt cold fingers tickling the exposed skin of your waist. jinx held you with a delicacy that made your breathing twitch.

“nothing~” she purred, getting even closer as she hugged you from the side. “i love lesbians.” she chuckled again, but it didn’t sound like she was making fun of you now. you were bewildered, but you didn’t separate an inch. “i just couldn’t think of anything else to mock you, heh.”

you knew it was wrong for many reasons, but in the very moment you thought that it was cute. she was cute.

“i… i didn’t knew you…”

“hmm?” she hummed with a smile, placing her lips close to your ear to murmur as soft as she could. “that i was into you?”

she wasn’t making things up. you were simply oblivious. why else were you practically the only one unaffected by jinx’s antics? until today, that is.

if you’d have payed attention, you would’ve noticed the constant staring, the quiet steps behind you. you would’ve understood why some ungrateful students came back at you after a tutoring session to offer you money for your time and effort, you never accepted it, but there was jinx threatening kids for you.

jinx fixation only snapped when you finally offered your attention to her. to have you kneeling in front of her with worried eyes, unsure of how to actually help her and not leaving when she wouldn’t even spare you another glance after accepting the tissues. your kindness made her heart race and she wanted it all to herself.

the silence that filled the bathroom was comforting, though the tension could be cut with a knife. or a kiss, whichever happened first.

surprisingly, you made the first move. tilting your head close enough to brush your lips against hers. you felt her sigh into your mouth before reciprocating. the contact was firm, eager and gentle. could’ve been more romantic if you weren’t in the schools bathroom, but neither of you minded.

she didn’t lose time to press herself into you against the wall, her hands roamed your waist and shamelessly explored under your shirt. the kiss quickly heated up, just like your bodies.

your hands clutched her shoulders to keep her close, though you shy away for a second when her tongue licked your lower lip. “god…” you sighed, mesmerized by the feeling. jinx tried again and this time you welcomed her by opening your lips for her.

she treated you so good, her touch both gentle and hungry made your back arch into her. her tongue conquered your mouth with ease, exploring every inch until one of you pull away to breath.

it was intoxicating, thrilling. the voice in your mind warning you when her hand slipped under your pants got more and more distant. her slim fingers caressed you over your underwear and you reluctantly broke the kiss to whimper softly. it was unknown, exciting. your own hand gripped her forearm as you tried to quiet down.

jinx hummed in amusement, “feels good, hm?” she pecked your lips before moving to your neck. it was only a matter of minutes before you pleaded for more. though your words came out slurred and nonsensical, you had to guide her hand under your panties to make the point.

“y—yeah, yeah,” you kept mumbling, praising the softness of her touch. jinx’s own knees trembled when she heard you moan loudly, her middle finger smoothly entering your pussy. she had to kiss you again to shut you up, but she was fucking you so nice.

you greedily asked for more, muffling against her lips. you wouldn’t even be standing if you weren’t holding yourself from her shoulders. she added another one, setting a soft pace, her curling fingers hitting your sweet spot over and over.

you felt the pressure in your lower belly, “ah, jinx—“ you tried to warn her, but she already had an idea. your walls squeezed her fingers harder, and your hips kept twitching towards her, searching for relief.

“i got ya, baby.” she reassured you, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear as you came in her hands.

jinx was a riddle no one bothered to figure out, not even you. it was a pleasant surprise to be the first to feel how sweet she can actually be. you craved more of her.

it was a weird pairing, people noted. you both mindlessly walked hand in hand the next week, jinx’s uncaring attitude gave you the boost of confidence you needed after being laughed at so recently. [jinx apologized profusely for it.] but it worked perfectly, having each other’s back when something went wrong. there was a special, comforting connection between you two that couldn’t be compared.

[maxdibert]

What Ben Whishaw and Keira Knightley have in Black Doves is everything I want in a friendship: that problematic, pseudo-autistic gay best friend who’s willing to blow the head off anyone trying to kill me after I’ve completely messed up by cheating on my fancy Tory husband—and who doesn’t judge me but is ready to go on a killing spree with me for my personal revenge. It’s all a straight girl could ever wish for. I’m not asking for much.

[deliciousangelfestival]

The Malicious Daughter Is Back! - 11

Character : Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: It's just a business marriage. Bucky thought it would be easy until he encountered the stepsister of his fiancée. She turned his world upside down.

The Malicious Daughter Is Back! Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist || Support : Ko-fi 🙏🏻

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

Bucky had no idea that someone was making an evil plan against him. He had been advising you on managing Velari’s business for the past few days.

You quickly grasped the management concepts, learning from the best, Bucky. Another reason for your quick understanding was your previous business studies at a prestigious university. However, you couldn't continue your education due to internal conflicts within your family.

That was your biggest regret. You only bark but never bite. You managed to continue your education only because Cassandra sold her jewelry. You will never forget the sacrifice she made for you. You clenched your fists, remembering the heartbreak in her eyes when she sold her cherished possessions.

But still, whenever you tried to rise, life seemed determined to bring you down again. Genevieve used all her connections to prevent you from learning business and management.

You discovered this when you confronted the dean, who said, "Mrs. Sinclair donates a lot to this university, and we don’t want to disappoint her." You had felt a cold rage, your hands trembling as you realized the extent of her influence.

Most prestigious universities denied you. The only place that accepted you was a community college, where you randomly chose to study health and physical education because, at that time, you felt utterly lost and alone.

You just wanted to get a degree, any degree. You sighed, recalling the sense of defeat and the hollow feeling in your chest as you enrolled in a field you had no passion for.

Sometimes not expecting anything gives the best gifts. The lecturer and friends you met were the most supportive and kindest people you had ever encountered. That’s how you got the job as a teacher at Granite Hills Reform School, where problematic, delinquent students from all over the country were gathered.

It was tough at first; your teachers and the principal had warned you to be careful. But you felt like you could make some changes because you knew how the students felt: not being listened to, getting bullied, not being appreciated, and being ignored. You remembered the frustration in their eyes, a mirror of your own past struggles.

Comparing the discipline required for dealing with delinquent students who always gave outrageous excuses, working at Velari seemed easier.

After redefining the clothes' design with Andrea, you felt like the old Velari was back. You never thought redoing the design would be easier than looking at the accountant's records.

It was a mess. You ran your fingers through your hair, your brow furrowed in disbelief.

You scratched your head, unable to believe how much the business was bleeding. Bucky was also reading the numbers. "If you don’t do something, Velari will be closed in two years." His tone was serious, and his eyes met yours with concern.

"Urgh." You threw your head onto the book on the table and hit it a few times in frustration.

Bucky extended his hand and placed it on your forehead. His warm hand held your head gently. "Don’t worry, you can fix this." His touch and reassuring words made you pause, feeling a flicker of hope amid the chaos.

You felt your face warm up. Bucky noticed too. "Are you having a fever?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

You quickly moved your head away from his hand and shook your head. "No, I guess I hit my head too hard," you replied, trying to downplay your flustered state.

The chat between you and Bucky didn’t go unnoticed by Andrea, the senior designer. She bit her lip and continued drawing, stealing glances occasionally.

Bucky cleared his throat. "If you want, we could make a press release for a new rebranding for Velari."

"That’s a good idea," you nodded. "Can we also include AstraNova Group in the press release?"

Bucky nodded. "Sure." He looked at his watch and got up. "I’ll send the PR team to help you with the press release."

"Thank you," you said, your gratitude showing in your smile. Bucky smiled back and left the room.

"It was so sweet, I can't even describe it," Andrea remarked, taking off her glasses and smirking at you.

You felt your cheeks warm up again. "It's not..."

Andrea raised her hands in a mock surrender. "I won't tease you, but I saw how he always comes here and even stays with you until late at night. It says something."

You sighed, looking down at your hands. "I don’t know... To be honest, I don’t believe in romance after what I saw happen to my parents."

Andrea nodded sympathetically. "I understand, but not every story ends the same way. Sometimes, you just have to take a chance."

Andrea sighed, then approached you and gently took both of your hands in hers. She looked at you with a mix of concern and nostalgia. She remembered the first time Ophelia brought you to the shop.

You were cheerful, always laughing at the most minor things. But everything changed after Ophelia died, and not even a year later, your father remarried. Understandably, you have trauma around love and opening your heart to another person.

“Give it a chance,” Andrea said softly, squeezing your hands. “If both of you share the same feelings, that’s good. And… if Bucky cheats, I’m sure you could give him a lesson.” Andrea chuckled, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

You chuckled too, the tension easing from your shoulders. It would be a lie if you said you didn't have feelings for Bucky. You glanced down, your cheeks flushing slightly.

Andrea noticed your expression and gave your hands another reassuring squeeze. “You deserve happiness, just like anyone else.”

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. "Thanks, Andrea. I'll think about it."

Andrea smiled warmly, patting your hands before letting go. “Good. Now, let’s get back to work. We’ve got a lot to do.”

👗👗👗👗👗

Since his memory returned, Bucky has been practicing touching other people. He started with his parents first. Though he still couldn’t hug them, he could hold their hands without feeling disgusted. His mom and dad were astounded and cried at the same time.

Finally, they could have physical contact with their son again without Bucky feeling nauseated or acting like they were germs. As parents, it was heartbreaking to see him struggle. The kidnapping stole Bucky and their chance to be an average family.

Juliana sipped her tea while watching her son read the newspaper. "So, today you’re going to be the honored guest at Velari?" she asked with a teasing smile.

Bucky nodded, not looking up from the paper.

"I never thought my son could be interested in fashion," she teased again, her eyes twinkling.

"Mom… I’m just… repaying the favor," Bucky replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Yeah… right," Rowan and Juliana murmured together. Because of Bucky’s condition, he never had the chance to have an intimate relationship with someone. He spent his youth only studying. So now, with Bucky and you? They couldn’t be happier.

Bucky wanted to smile at his parents' teasing but held it in. He stood from his seat, adjusting the buttons on his jacket. "I don’t want to be late."

"Why so early?" Juliana asked, looking up from her tea.

Bucky kept walking toward the door where the car was already prepared for him. "I have to stop by her house first."

"Tell her I said ‘Hi’," Juliana called after him, a knowing smile on her face.

Bucky paused at the door, turning slightly to nod before stepping outside. As he approached the car, he couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing you.

🫖🫖🫖🫖🫖

Bucky arrived at your house and, as usual, greeted Cassandra first. She looked much healthier, having gained some weight since the first time he met her. Even with her dementia, Cassandra was always friendly to everyone. She was sitting in the garden with a blanket on her lap.

“Hello, Grandma,” Bucky greeted her warmly.

Cassandra’s eyes widened with recognition. “Ah, Patrick. It’s a beautiful morning, isn’t it? Did you have breakfast?”

Bucky smiled softly, though he didn’t understand why she called him Patrick. After meeting a few times, she started using this name. He had mentioned it to you, but you didn’t know who Patrick was either.

“I’m sorry I made you wait,” you said, walking into the garden while adjusting your earrings.

Bucky fell silent, momentarily mesmerized by how different you looked today. Cassandra noticed, too, and clapped her hands in delight. “You look so beautiful, Ophelia. Did you make the clothes from my design again?”

You bent down and kissed her cheeks. “Yes.” Bringing your mother’s and grandmother’s designs to life was one of your greatest joys.

At least Genevieve and Victoria had never gotten their hands on the earlier designs. Kneeling beside Cassandra, you took her wrinkled hands and looked into her eyes. “I’m going to revive the old Velari.”

Cassandra tilted her head and caressed your hair gently. “I believe in you,” she said softly, her voice filled with warmth and trust.

🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗

The ride to the press release was quiet. You kept silently memorizing the speech you were going to deliver to the journalists and critics. In the fashion world, critics' words held significant weight.

Bucky sensed your nervousness. “Don’t worry. You can do this,” he said, his voice steady.

You took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Yes, I can do this.” Then, you looked at Bucky, feeling a surge of gratitude. You had reached this point mainly because of him.

“Bucky… I…” Your eyes widened when you saw Bucky’s intense focus on you, and he reached for you. “Wait…”

“Get down!” Bucky shouted, dragging your body away from the door. The movement was swift. As the car stopped at a red light, a big SUV suddenly rammed into Bucky’s car.

The car window shattered, showering you with glass. “What the fuck?” you exclaimed, feeling a mix of shock and fear.

Then you realized the person who had shielded you was trembling. You looked up to see Bucky, his face pale, his body rigid.

The traumatic memory of his kidnapping had resurfaced with startling clarity. He had just wanted to go home early from an event hosted by AstraNova, finding the party boring with no kids his age. But that decision had led to his abduction, a memory now mirrored in this moment. The nightmare was returning: the darkness, the cold, and fear.

“Bucky?” you called, trying to snap him out of his frozen state.

‘Bang.’

You hear the door closed from the SUV and see three big guys coming into your car. You saw the driver is fainted. “Shit.”

You touched Bucky's face urgently, trying to break through his fear. "Bucky, look at me! I know you're scared. Me too! But we can't stand still. We have to run. Argh…" Suddenly, strong arms grabbed you from behind.

The person was big and rough, wearing a ski mask. He muttered, "You're a firecracker, aren't ya?" His confidence wavered when you stared directly at him.

You continued kicking and squirming to escape his grasp, but his strength was overwhelming compared to your students'. Where was Bucky?

“Bucky!!!” you screamed, desperately searching for him.

“Don’t worry about him. We just want you,” the abductor sneered as he dragged you toward the waiting car.

Fear surged through you as you realized what was happening—had you just been abducted?

You kept kicking and struggling against the abductor, but he gripped your leg harder. “Be good, or I’ll break your fucking legs…”

“Help!” A voice suddenly cried out, weak and desperate.

You and your abductor both turned toward the sound.

What you saw was beyond anything you could have imagined. Bucky, whose body was smaller than the abductor's, had launched himself into action. With surprising strength and speed, he grabbed the other abductor and threw him in a wide arc.

The abductor struggled, choking and gasping for air. His resistance faded, and he went limp, unconscious. Bucky discarded him like a sack of garbage.

Your abductor's voice trembled with disbelief and frustration. “Fuck, she didn’t mention any of this.”

You were equally shocked. You had never imagined that Bucky possessed such strength and skill.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky had been quietly preparing himself for such situations. He had learned various martial arts and survival techniques, practicing diligently despite his physical limitations. Unable to spar with others, he had honed his abilities with machines and workout equipment, constantly pushing himself to the highest levels.

Now, faced with real danger, Bucky's training revealed itself. His strength and determination were beyond anything you had ever seen from him.

Andrea echoed in your mind, "If Bucky cheated, you could give him a lesson." If she could witness this moment, she would indeed be astounded.

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Author Note: Hey friends,

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[hkthatgffan]

Hey! You seem like a huge *Gravity Falls* fan, so I was hoping you could answer some of my biggest questions about morality in the show. Since the release of *The Book of Bill* (which I’ve read), do you think Bill could ever be redeemed or seen sympathetically? Is there a possibility for him to get better and maybe even have a happy ending?

I ask this because I see a lot of fans saying, "He's awful," or "He deserves everything coming to him a thousandfold," and "Don't sympathize with him!" But then I watch the show, and I see characters like Gideon Gleeful and Robbie who were also problematic—they did terrible things but still got happy endings.

I know Gideon went to jail, but he broke out and ultimately had a positive resolution. Robbie, for example, tried to brainwash Wendy into a romantic relationship (which is super messed up!). Even though it didn’t work, and Wendy only dated him because she thought he wrote her that song, Robbie knew what the CD was supposed to do. But instead of facing real consequences, he just went through a breakup and still ended up with a happy ending, with friends and a new girlfriend.

As for Gideon, he tried to kill Dipper, manipulate Mabel, and invade the entire town’s privacy—basically doing some of the same things Bill did. Yet, after going to jail and making a last-minute turn toward good, he still got a happy ending.

So I’m super confused. What should I be feeling? Is there a correct way to view these characters? What do you think?

Bill at his core is the personification of denial. We see in the book that the harbours some regret and hatred for what he's done to the people around him but he refuses to try and take it to heart and use it as a point to grow from. I mean, look at what he did.

He killed his entire dimension and family and yet tries to deny it was anything bad and that in fact he liberated them. He manipulated and almost destroyed Ford and yet denies ruining the friendship they had. He tried to kill Dipper and Mabel and yet acts like it was nothing. Bill is unsympathetic. He's a narcissistic sociopath who doesn't wanna admit it.

The difference with Robbie and Gideon is that they changed and grew past their issues. Robbie tbh was more so being a literal teen drama story while Gideon was made that way through his exposure to Journal 2 and how that corrupted him. Once both found a new lease on life, they were able to grow and become better.

Bill is not that. He cannot accept that he's not fine and that he's the sole survivor of his kind and has pushed everyone he knew out of his life through his own actions. We've all probably dealt with people like Bill Cipher. Be it a person, co-worker, significant other, friend, family member, etc. We've all had that person who acts full of themselves and manipulatively but in reality is suffering. But because of how they act and their refusal to do anything, you start to lose any sympathy or interest in helping or being there and just let them go. Congrats...you just escaped a toxic relationship.

As someone who has dealt with Bill Ciphers in my life like many of us probably have, it's easy to feel sympathy for him. Bill make his case out as such that you wanna feel like he deserves better. But he's a trillion year old being that has been doing the same thing over and over again and refuses to make an effort to move on and let himself accept what he did to his dimension and to people around him like Ford.

Ford on the other hand realized that and cut Bill out of his life. He's doing better now because of that and has his family by his side. Ford is an example of how to move on from such toxic situations and people and find happiness in your life again after that. Bill is the example of what happens if you can't.

Life is short. We all will die one day. We all deserve to lead a life free of people like Bill Cipher in it. The best thing we can do is follow Ford and find the people in life that make us happy and let go of Bill.

So, to answer your question, NO!

I don't think Bill Cipher can be redeemed or seen in a sympathetic way. He tried to. But he's shown even in the Theraprism that he can't. He's doomed to live forever with the shit he's done. And it's his own fault.

Bill can say he's fine but in the end...he's not. And he never will be. There is no redemption for Bill Cipher.

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Best BLs on Gagaoolala

My Beautiful Man AKA Utsukushii Kare

Japan 2021

One of the most Japanese BLs to release in the last decade, as weird and as messed up as any 2000s yaoi: emo af and hella warped, entirely true to itself with no attempt made to modify its POV for modern sensibilities or current BL fandom. It used seriously old school problematic and kinky tropes, like whipping boy, for a truly uncompromising piece that also manages to hit up themes of communication, consent, and self acceptance. It’s a wonderful BL but uniquely dirty and harsh, in the best possible way - Japanese cinema, uncompromising.

I lost my ever loving mind over the ending. This show won the Grand Prix “My Best TV Award” at the 16th Galaxy Awards.

Minato's Laundromat AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry

Japan 2022

A classic age gap romance where a high school student pursues the man of his dreams (who runs a laundromat). This BL is so steeped in yaoi nostalgia, not to mention a classic romance arc, that it will overload some, but those of us who love this genre for its DNA will adore it. It made me very happy because it did everything I want a BL to do - there’s not much more I could ask of a show than this. It’s the closest Japan has come to perfect live action yaoi since Seven Days (and I never make that comparison lightly).

Squee watch-along here.

My Ride

Thai 2022

Thai BL grew up with this pulp (the first ever to make my end of year top 10). It’s a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine (AKA a cinnamon roll couple) plus mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest, and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede, the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple.

Takara & Amagi AKA Takara-kun to Amagi-kun

Japan 2022 I gnawed on my knuckles and squealed a lot with this BL. Reserved cool kid who must learn to communicate to keep the tiny disaster nugget he’s madly in love with. It is beyond charming: soft and gentle, packed with cuteness and high school angst, thirst, & yearning. Was there plot? Not really. Was it emotionally tense and paced well enough for me not to notice? Absolutely. Did I enjoy the hell out of it? Oh yes.

Kiseki: Dear to Me

Taiwan 2023

The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged, but that’s normal for Taiwan. It involves all the tropes under a very casual framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. Absolutely every character is queer. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs, and a KILLER side couple. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho

Japan 2023

This style of live action yaoi really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's higher heat than we usually get from Japan's HEA stuff, and that part is also very well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" trope which is only exacerbated into undiluted frustration by the fact that they're already fucking. It's great, but watching requires more patience than usual, even for Japan.

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku

Japan 2023

A lonely salaryman and talented cook gets accidentally adopted by a college kid and his little brother. I was always gonna love this show if they stuck to the manga (which is very dear to my heart). And they did, paralleling it almost exactly. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me as the best of what Japan can do with softness (like Restart After Come Back Home). It’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, but that's OK with me. This is a very safe show for anyone to watch.

Step By Step

Thai 2023

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This office romance between a stern boss and sweet subordinate felt more authentic to cubical work than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. That authenticity added tension to the narrative and its characters development (how novel). I also really enjoyed the charming side characters and the brothers' relationship to each other (although I could have done without that brother's side BL).

Long Time No See

Korea (Strongberry) 2017

Catfishing assassins on either side of a turf war who fall in love not knowing they are on opposite sides. Or do they? Suspenseful plot, good fight sequences, mature characters, hot sexitimes and even hotter beating the shit out of each other and kissing while covered in blog (this came from KOREA?), plus an HEA. One of the hidden gems of the BL genre.

About Youth

Taiwan 2022

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by real world authenticity and grit.

Some of these shows ALSO appeared on Viki or iQIYI, but these BLs will appear only once on these round up posts (here for Gaga), not on the other platforms top 10.

(source)

This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that aired on Gaga (or was taken off the platform) after that date.

This is part of a series more here:

[laviefantasie]

When Emma Falls In Love…

Pairings: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Summary: If there was one thing Satoru was thankful for, it was you.

| Masterlist |

They say it is incredibly rare to find someone that cares about you without another agenda. One that wants to see you achieves your hopes and dreams. One that encourages you to grow and is right by your side throughout each and every mess. One who does not define love with an ‘if’ or a ‘because’, but with an ‘in spite for’ and an ‘even though’. One that is brave enough to love unconditionally, without ever expecting anything in return; one that just gives.

The world has approximately 8 billion people in it and yet, to love or be loved unconditionally is a once in a blue moon occurrence.

Y/L/N Y/N knew this.

She has always known that love is a serendipity. Something fortuitous. She has always known that it is the greatest curse of all; that loving is giving the other person a gun and have them point it at you, allowing them to decide if you live or die.

Yet, she has also always known that everything that can be considered a curse can be considered a blessing, all depends on the point of view.

So, Y/N has never closed herself off to the idea of love. But she has never looked for it either.

To be honest, even if she wanted to look for it (which she doesn’t) she wouldn’t have the opportunity (nor the choice) to do so. Not when she was a Jujutsu Sorcerer from the Y/L/N clan. Not when she was the heiress of said clan.

She didn’t have choices when it came to trivial things like love. She was set to marry as soon as she graduates to start producing another heir, to make sure to pass her family’s curse technique. She had always known this. She had always been taught about it.

So… why was this happening now?

Why was she ignoring Yaga-sensei’s lesson to stare at her white-haired doofus childhood friend/classmate?

And why was her heart beating so loud?

A paper ball hits the back of her head, startling her. Turning in her seat, Y/N meets the nonchalant eyes of her best friend, Ieiri Shoko. Said girl gestures with her eyes to the paper on the floor, so with a fleeting glance at her teacher Y/N bends to pick it up.

[ Why are you staring at Tweedledee over there? ]

Y/N winces slightly as soon as she reads the message. Hurrying to hide it in her notebook, even if there was no one close enough to read it.

Damn Shoko and her intuition.

Deciding to ignore her best friend, Y/N stares straight ahead at her teacher. Physically restraining herself every single time her eyes dared to try to gaze at her white-haired friend.

When class finally ends, Y/N tries to pick her stuff up as soon as possible, hoping to be able to outrun her curious best friend.

But, of course, she was naive for thinking she could.

“Someone’s in a hurry” Shoko’s unbothered sweet voice states from her side, “Wonder why”

Y/N closed her eyes in defeat before opening them to look at the amused eyes of her best friend.

“Now, will you answer my—?”

“Y/N!”

The loud and excited voice of the boy Y/N had spend most of the class staring at startled them both. And soon they are joined by their two other classmates.

The problematic duo. The strongest boys: Tweedledum and Tweedledee, known also as Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru.

The white-haired beauty rests his arm on Y/N’s shoulder as soon as he comes to her side, Geto mimicking his actions with Shoko. Both of them smirking.

“What are you girls whispering about?” Satoru asks with amusement, “Is it about me?”

Shoko scoffs, “In your dreams”

“How’d you know?”

Geto rolls his eyes, “Ignore him. We wanted to ask you both if you wanted to go to Tokyo, there’s this cafe we want to try”

“Sure” Y/N nods, “We should ask Nanami and Haibara if they want to join us”

Satoru groans loudly as soon as the words leave her mouth, and pushes most of his body weight onto her, making her almost lose her balance.

“I refuse”

Suguru lets out a big laugh after his best friend’s words while Shoko only looks totally amused, as if she had already expected that.

Y/N, on the other hand, looks at Satoru with a frown.

“You refuse? Why would you refuse?”

“Because”

“What do you mean ‘because’?”

“Because”

Y/N narrows her eyes before looking at her other friends for answers, but both of them just smile at her, totally amused by the scene happening in front of them.

“One reason. Give me one reason and I’ll agree”

Satoru shrugs his shoulders, “I don’t like sharing”

“Huh?”

Satoru doesn’t wait for her to try to decipher his statement, instead he grabs her bag before pushing her so she starts walking.

“You said to give you a reason, there it is” he pushes her once more “Now, move”

She does as told, even when her mind still works to try to understand what he said. Either way, as soon as they are all out of their school’s barrier said statement is forgotten. After-all, Satoru had always said vague things like that to her ever since they met, nothing worth frying her brain for.

Okay, something was really wrong with her. Not only had she spent all of last month staring at Gojo Satoru every single day whenever he was close, but now she was glaring at said boy while he flirted with a non-sorcerer.

Why the hell was she glaring? Why was she even looking at them? Satoru flirting wasn’t a new occurrence, on the contrary, it was a daily event. For Satoru flirting was as natural and as necessary as breathing, so why was she so bothered by it right now? It’s not as if she had never witnessed it before, so why did it mattered now?

Why was her chest aching so annoyingly? Why did she feel so nauseous when she had barely touched her food? Why couldn’t she drift her gaze away from them?

Y/N clenched her hands shut, forcing herself to look at her food. Why was it so hard to do something as simple as that? Why did her chest hurt enough that she had to remind herself to do something as natural as breathing?

“Not hungry?”

She moves her gaze from her food to the reason behind her inner turmoil who had finally seemed to remember he came here with her, not with the pretty blonde non-sorcerer he was just speaking to.

“Uh…” she fleetingly looks at her untouched full plate, “Not really”

Satoru frowns, “Do you feel okay?”

Breathe in. Breathe out, she reminds herself.

Why was it that she suddenly felt like crying? Was it because he was looking at her with such sincere worry? Or was it because he had lowered his round sunglasses to really look at her with those mesmerizing blue eyes so he could make sure she was okay?

What was wrong with her?

"Uh—I…Jus—Can we go back?" she stammers, "I don't feel really good"

Satoru’s frown deepens, but he nods and soon both of them are making their way back to their school. In complete silence.

As soon as Y/N makes it back to the security of her dorm, she doesn’t waste a single second. She hurries to lock her door and to close her blinds, grabbing her phone as fast as possibly and dialing her mother’s number.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

She needed answers or she would lose her mind, and the only person who she knew could give her those was the one she trusted the most: her mom.

“Honey?” She hears her mom’s sweet and soft voice as she answers, “You good? You never call”

“I…”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Something is wrong” she whispers.

“What’s going on?”

What was going on? That was a hard question. And so she explained, as best as she could. And her mom listened, silently and patiently. Never interrupting her, even when she was stammering and rambling all over the place.

As the words leave her lips in hurried whispers, her feet pace around her room anxiously.

“Oh, honey”

Maybe it was the understanding in her mother’s voice or maybe the softness in her pet name, but it was then that she understood.

“I’m not in love”

But, oh, how ironic. It was the moment the words left her mouth, the moment she tried to convince her mom (or maybe herself) of it, that she understood it.

She was in love with one of her best friends.

Her feet stop pacing. Her heart stops beating. Her breath slows down and her knees tremble. All adrenaline leaving her abruptly.

She has to force herself to move to her bed so she can sit before her body gives up on her.

“Oh” she whispers, “Oh”

“Yeah, oh” her mom responds, “So, the one blessed with the six eyes?”

“Satoru” she whispers as a reflex, used to having to remind a lot of sorcerers around them that Satoru is more than just that.

“Satoru” her mom repeats, “What is he like now? I haven’t seen him in a long time”

“Uh, well… he is something else, definitely” she whispers softly, “He is kind and loyal. Also funny. Although, he has a huge ego… uh, he—kinda a womanizer”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“He is a womanizer” she repeats, as if reminding herself, “Never one to settle down. Gets bored pretty easily of people. Things he’s above all that—romance, I mean. He’s not really serious about anything, so commitment is out of the question. Doesn’t really trust people with his feelings, so that’d be a problem, right? And—”

“Honey,” her mom interrupts, “sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself about how this could end up going wrong without even trying first”

Huh.

So that’s what she’s doing.

Everything changed after the call with her mom. Everything changed once she finally understood what was truly going on with her. How could it not when she was never one to hide her feelings? Always wearing her heart on her sleeve, never knowing how to hide the light in her e/c eyes.

Everyone noticed and she constantly scolded herself for it. Yet, she couldn’t help it.

She couldn’t stop herself from looking at Satoru as if he hung in the air like the stars in outer space, brighter than the moon itself. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling every time their eyes met nor the way her eyes lit up.

But just as she couldn’t stop herself from expressing how she felt, Satoru couldn’t force himself to reciprocate her feelings.

Satoru had never been one to believe in love. He, as she did, believed love to be the worst curse of them all. But, contrary to her belief, he could never even think of the possibility of it being a blessing. So, even when his attitude towards her never change, there was this new wall built between them that kept her far enough to never reach his heart.

She didn’t need to confess for him to know her feelings.

He didn’t need to reject her for her to know his.

They had always been close, since the moment they met when they were six. They had always understood each other without the need to explain themselves, and maybe it was because of the way their cursed techniques were interlaced but it didn’t matter to them.

Both always knew where the other stood.

Y/N knew Satoru wasn’t ready for the love she felt for him. Didn’t even know if he’d ever be ready for it. But she had no intention of falling in love with anyone else, at least not at the moment. So, whenever he’s ready, she’d be there.

He was her first love. He had forever changed her and she knew no matter how hard she tried, that wouldn’t go away.

So, for now, she was content with how little he gave her. She was content with how careful he was with her feelings even when he had no intention of reciprocating them.

So, when did everything change?

There were only four known special grade sorcerers so far in Japan: Tsukumo Yuki, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, and Y/L/N Y/N. Although Tsukumo is not associated with Jujutsu High, so the only sorcerers that Yaga would entrust a mission as important as the one of the Star Plasma Vessel are the three special grades in his care.

“Escort the vessel and erase her?” Satoru asks.

Geto and Y/N share a look before focusing once again on their teacher, who confirms the mission. Not even a second later, Suguru and Satoru start whispering about Yaga losing his mind making the only girl present roll her eyes.

By the end of the conversation, the three best friends were on babysitting duty of the girl meant to reset master Tengen’s cursed technique.

Y/N receives her cold black tea from Satoru’s hands before they start making their way once again to the location of the Star Plasma Vessel, all while Suguru tries to answer each of Satoru’s questions.

“Anyways, it should be okay” Satoru shrugs, “We’re the strongest”

Y/N scoffs a laugh, while Suguru sighs and tries to explain to Satoru how he should start dialing down his narcissistic tendencies.

“Sheesh, give me a break” Satoru groans, “Y/N likes me the way I am, right?”

Her eyes widen and a blush soon makes home in her cheeks, making her turn her face away from him to avoid his amused smile.

“Uh—I…”

An explosion saves her from answering, although she isn’t sure she’d rather deal with that. Maybe that’s when everything started truly going downhill.

It didn’t take long for the three of them to take action and defeat the Q workers, saving the girl they learned was Amanai Riko. The young girl was a firecracker that had made Y/N laugh after she slapped Satoru and insulted Suguru. Maybe things would’ve been better if she hadn’t been so innocent and likable; if she hadn’t been so young and pure.

But things hadn’t been better. Honestly, things couldn’t have gone more wrong.

She wishes they’d stayed in Okinawa. All of them had been so at peace there. All of them had so much fun. They had gone to the beach after rescuing Amanai’s caretaker, where Satoru had run to the water with Y/N on his grasps while ignoring her screams. They had eaten and joked around before going to the aquarium.

Maybe she should’ve stopped Satoru from staying awake that night, maybe she should’ve made him rest for some time instead of deciding to make him company before falling asleep on his shoulder. Maybe then things would’ve been different.

But Y/N had done none of that and now she was staring at the consequences.

Satoru was just stabbed in front of her, just after they crossed the barrier around Jujutsu High that protected them.

Y/N had never wanted more to fully dominate her cursed technique. Never had she ever wanted to understand the depth behind the intricate time manipulation cursed technique her family possessed that made them the Gojo clan’s greatest ally. She possessed one of the most powerful known cursed techniques, one that could make her an equal to Satoru, yet she had never truly bothered with anything below the surface.

Not even when her father had explained to her the greatness she was destined to achieve. Not when, like Satoru, her birth had change the world.

She had never wanted to be exceptional, she had always just wanted to be strong enough to protect those she loved. Acquiring her cursed techniques full depth came with a great sacrifice. One she had never been willing to pay.

But now?

Now she’d pay the price without a second thought. What did it matter if she’d have to suffer through the pain of her eyes bleeding until her irises and pupils turned completely white? What did it matter if her lifetime shall shorten with every time she fooled destiny? What would it matter if she’d have to live with the possibility of losing her mind at any moment, never distinguishing the difference between the past, the present or the future again?

She would do it. She would do it without a second thought if that meant not staring at Satoru in the eyes as he orders her to follow Suguru, to leave him behind, as he bleeds.

She shakes her head.

She wasn’t leaving him, not with whoever that man was. She could feel he was dangerous, she didn’t know how she knew it but she did.

Y/N would never forgive herself if she left him behind.

“You have to trust me, Y/N” Satoru’s smile softens, “Trust me”

She shouldn’t have turned around, but she did. She trusted him with her life, so she had to trust him with his own.

She’d never trust him like that again.

Blood flows from her mouth as she lays face down on the floor, wounds all over her body as Fushiguro Toji stares down at her.

“So this is the Y/L/N pride” he murmurs, “Aren’t you supposed to be strong? The Gojo’s Six Eyes biggest ally or something like that? That’s the story, isn’t it? The space and time techniques are supposed to coexist with one another according to the legend of the Six Eyes and the Blind One, am I wrong?”

Y/N coughs out blood, her gaze blurring.

“At least he put up a fight” he scoffs, “You were doing so well until I told you I killed him”

She flinched at the reminder, making him scoff once again.

“The Blind One that sees all” he scoffs in disbelief, “What a joke. Let’s end this here, agree?”

He stabs her once more, forcing her to cough out even more blood before forcing the blade to go from her lower back to the back of her neck.

“You’re no threat with how little control you have over your cursed technique” he murmurs, “but waiting for you to become one is not an option. It was to meet you, let’s never do this again”

She tried to stay awake, tried to remember everything Shoko had ever taught her about reverse cursed technique, but her mind was too out of it to form any coherent thought. Maybe that was how she was meant to die, after all her life had always been intertwined in a way with Satoru’s, so if he was gone what was the point of her being there at all?

Her eyes closed, yet she kept breathing.

Her mind was fuzzy, yet like a mantra the names of every single person she loved repeated themselves over and over again.

That’s when she felt it happen.

Her eyes open wide and a painful scream, strong enough to tear her vocal cords, left her body. Blood started pouring out of her eyes as the e/c and black in them starts being burnt away as if the water in her eyelids was acid.

She had never felt pain like this. It felt as if her eyes were being stabbed by a hundred needles over and over again. And when it finally stopped, and her body started healing herself once again, she understood every word her father had ever uttered to her about their powerful cursed technique.

So this is what it means to be blessed and cursed. To give more time as you lose your own. She had felt herself dying, yet her own cursed technique sent her body back in time, to when she hadn’t yet been hurt. Even as hours of her future self were taken from her for cheating death, she could still see it. It was crystal clear in her mind, as if it was a scene she had seen in a movie.

So that’s what her father meant when he told her she could lose herself to the past, the present, the future, and all its endless possibilities?

That was meant to be her world from now on.

“Y/N”

She blinks once. Twice. Thrice. Before pushing herself to a kneeling position so she could move her gaze to the source. It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be.

Yet it was. She knew it. It wasn’t one of the possibilities on the multiverses she could see.

Even with her eyesight lost, she could sense his cursed technique. He could visualize him by the way his cursed technique lit up his body shape.

He was here. He was alive.

“Stand up” he tells her, “ Amanai is dead. We failed”

Her knees tremble as she forces herself to stand. How could he be so calm? How could his voice sound so devoid of emotion? She wishes she could truly see him, she always used to know what he was feeling with just one look.

Things were gonna be different now.

It started with little changes. First, Y/N had to return to her clan immediately to train her technique. She had to learn to control what she saw before frying her brain. She had to also learn to dominate reverse curse technique.

She wasn’t just a normal time cursed user like the rest of her clan, it wasn’t just freezing or slowing your opponent anymore. A touch from her could now age, could kill. A touch from her could now rebirth, could save.

She was now a weapon. A shield. More importantly, she was the strongest right hand. Space and time always cohabiting with each other.

When she finally came back to school, everything had already changed too much and she couldn’t even bother herself with adapting to the changes, too trouble by the different dreams of the different future outcomes. Of all the choices that hadn’t yet been made but could be, of all their consequences.

She didn’t remember the last time she had spent some time with her best friends, the only person she spent time with lately being Satoru. Satoru, who for some reason she didn’t bother to analyze, always seek her when he finally had time off from a mission. Never leaving her side unless he really had to.

All of them had forever been changed after their failed mission. So, when was it enough?

She hadn’t been there to see Suguru slowly start to lose himself, too focused on Satoru and herself to notice the little clues laid in front of her of the future she had seen yet refused to believed.

Then, she had seen Haibara’s dead body.

She tried to stop it then. Hoping, wishing, it wasn’t too late. She had run to him that night, meeting him on the courtyard of their school as he smoked the night away.

“Please don’t”

He didn’t look at her. Barely inhaled a smoke before letting his gaze fall from the moon, as if its light was too much for him.

“I don’t know what you’ve seen, but I’m not planning anything”

“I know you’re not” she whispers “but I also know what you’ll see. Please don’t leave us behind”

His dark saddened eyes turn to look at her, really look at her and her breath hitches. One of the things she loathes about being able to see the past is the new perspectives she has of those around her. She had always been living her life as the Earth, always rotating around her sun. Never bothering to look at the moon, that always rotated around her.

Satoru was her sun, but Suguru had quietly always been her moon. And she had never once noticed before.

While she was too busy staring lovestruck at Satoru, Suguru had stared at her. But he had always been selfless, and he has always been happy with just gazing from afar, just like she was always happy only staring at Satoru.

This new depth in her technique made it painfully obvious for her the softness in which he gazed at her, even with all the sadness and conflict he carried in them he could still gaze at her with that particular softness. It made her heart ache.

“I would never leave you behind”

It sounded like a promise to anybody else, but to her it was like a blade to her heart. It was one more step to the future she so wanted to avoid.

She sat by his side that night, giving him the comfort of her presence.

On September, he went on the mission to exorcise a spirit to blame for the mysterious deaths and disappearances on a village.

That day he killed 112 villagers. On that day, he was sentenced to execution on sight as a curse user.

She was the first one to arrive when Shoko called, and the smile he gave her was all she needed to confirm her greatest fear. Her heart bled once she saw the soften in his gaze as he saw her, never wavering.

“I’m sorry I have to leave you behind” he whispered once they were far enough from Shoko, “I don’t want to, but I know you won’t follow me”

“We can fix this. I can fix this”

She could. She had the power to. She would do it if he asked, even if it cost her half of her lifetime.

“I don’t want you to” he whispered softly, “I want you to live a long and full life, not to sacrifice it for my own choices”

“You promised…”

“I know, that’s my only regret” he smiled, “You look beautiful. You are beautiful, I’m sorry I never said it before”

“Suguru…”

Both of them stopped as soon as they felt the curse energy of the only one missing from their group.

“Explain yourself, Suguru”

His smile faltered. He looked at her one last time, softly and full of adoration.

“Don’t let him hurt you” he whispered, “Thank you for everything”

And then, Suguru turned around to face his best friend before leaving them all behind. Before leaving everything he once believed in behind.

“What are you doing here?”

It was around 2 am when a knock on your door had woken you up, the last thing you had expected was to see Satoru’s aura on the other side. Since Suguru’s departure your best friend had started going to even more missions then before, making it impossible for you to actually see him for more than a few minutes.

You hadn’t really expected to see him soon, much less at the current time.

“May I come in?”

His tone is low, with no hint of a joke in it, which makes you open your door wide enough for him to cross without hesitating in the slightest.

Honestly, he could ask anything from you and you’d give it to him. No questions asked.

She feels him move to the middle of her room as she closes the door, his feet drawing circles on the floor showing the anxiety he must be feeling.

“I didn’t know you were back”

“I just came” he murmurs, “I’m sorry for barging in, I just—I needed to see you”

Y/N’s breath hitches and her heart throbs loudly in her chest. It was weird, the feeling of drowning that she had become so familiar with was slowly disappearing, as if just the sound of his voice was enough to remind her how to swim. Enough to help her breathe again.

She had been alone all this time. Shoko had been dealing with the abandonment in her own way by herself, only coming to her when the loneliness became too much. When that happened, Y/N had to ignore her own broken pieces to help hold those of her best friend. And once she was sure Shoko was well enough to go back to her own cave, she was left alone to take on both of their pain to bear it all by herself.

She wasn’t one to walk away, not unless she absolutely had to leave. But all she had needed all this time was to hear Satoru’s voice to remember the strength she possessed.

“You wanna lay down?”

He sees his aura move towards her bed, making her know he agreed to her suggestion.

With a deep breath, Y/N moves to join him. It wasn’t the first time they had ever slept on the same bed, they had tons of sleepovers as kids.

But this was different. They were older and wiser. They knew pain firsthand now. They also knew what the other really meant to one another, and how precious each moment together truly was. How ephemeral everything could be.

So as Satoru pulled her closer to him as he hugged her from behind, both of them felt the tension they had been carrying leave their bodies.

After so long, Satoru finally felt at peace once again. The void that had been his heart all this time felt completed. He could finally breathe without feeling something pushing against his chest.

That was the first time in a while he truly slept.

There truly was no reason for Y/N to love him, so Satoru didn’t understand how he had gotten so lucky. After Haibara’s death and Suguru’s betrayal, after Nanami’s abandonment, Satoru truly didn’t think he was someone worth staying for.

But Y/N never once left his side. Never even thought about it. It didn’t matter that she had spent ten years loving him without even a glimpse of him reciprocating said feelings, she had stayed.

He loved her, he truly did. He just didn’t know what being in love meant or felt like, so he couldn’t say he was in love with her. All he knew, as he stared at her right now while she said her goodbye to Yuta, was that knowing her had changed his whole world.

He had once asked her a few years back why she loved him. She had stayed quiet for a few minutes before finally answering in her soft voice that she reserved just for him.

“You just know. There doesn’t have to be a particular reason. I don’t think you need a reason to love someone, your heart chooses them before your mind even has a say. It’s something you can’t really control, it just takes over you. It hits you when you least expect it. You feel alive, you feel better; I don’t think it’s something anybody will truly understand, and they don’t have to. It’s not something meant to be understood by others, only by your heart”

He hadn’t said anything after her. Hadn’t even smiled or nodded. All he had done was stare at her and repeat every single word in his mind over and over again, until they had been engraved in his memory.

Those words were repeated like a mantra whenever he needed something to give him hope, something to fight for.

Those words along with the memories of the hundreds of nights they looked for refugee in each other’s arms were the inhaler that helped him breathe. He had never truly known what a real home felt like until she had held him with so much care, care he hadn’t ever truly known; care that made him feel like a kid needing to be cared for instead of the strongest everybody expected him to be.

He was grateful for her. For every time she made him feel loved and appreciated. For every moment she stared at him as if he was the moon and the stars and the whole galaxy. For helping him raise Tsumiki and Megumi without ever complaining about it. For helping him mend his broken heart even when the broken pieces scarred her hands until they bled.

He didn’t know if he was in love with her, he just knew that he did love her with all his heart and soul.

And as she finally started walking towards him after letting go of Yuta, with her bright smile that made her whitened eyes crinkle, it finally hit him. She was the person he wanted to come home to every night. The person he wants to tell about his day. The person to share his happiness, his sadness, his success and his failures with.

Everything was better with her. Everything had been better since her, because of her.

She who had loved the parts of him that were not easy to love. For turning the pages in his book gently, and helping him rewrite a happy ending to his tragic narrative.

Y/N was like a book the you couldn’t put down once you pick it up. The kind of girl that would make every bad boy turn good. A shelter for his heart when it rained. A breath of fresh air whenever he felt like drowning.

She was everything and so much more and he truly didn’t know how to tell her. He was never good at expressing how he felt, he was of an acts of service guy. So how could he show you how much you truly meant to him? How much he really needed you? How much he loved you?

“…ru. Satoru. Satoru!” His gaze snaps towards you, seeing you look at him with amusement, “I’ve been calling you nonstop. A penny for your thoughts?”

Don’t ever stop smiling at me. Don’t ever stop looking at me. Don’t ever leave me.

“Ready to go home?”

He can see the confused frown on her face, but her smile is never wiped and that gives him hope of her understanding the underlying message on his words.

Home was wherever she was. So wherever she went, he would follow. He wanted to go home with her, because he wanted to hold her and never let her go. He wanted to be the reason for her smiles and the ones she chose to share her laughs with.

He wanted everything.

“Let’s go home, ‘toru”

He may have been cursed since birth, but it was all worth it if he had you.

[[ Really not my best work but my first Gojo One-Shot. Hope you all like it! I’m open to requests. Thank you for reading!!]]

[ellabsweet]

[*ੈ✩] 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐆𝐎 • 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐒

synopsis: you believe your girlfriend ellie has cheated on you and return home only to fall into tears when suddenly your dad’s best friend decides to cheer you up

pairing: dbf!abby anderson x reader x ellie williams

warning: problematic age gap (reader is 20 abby is in her mid 30s), mentions of cheating and the act thereof, sex so minors and men do not interact, somewhat angsty and perhaps a multiple part series if you guys want it!

Tears welled up in your eyes as you attempted to hold back sobs, hands gripping the steering wheel with all of its strength as though the mere thought of letting go would’ve made you shatter onto the ground, collapse. You bit down hard on your lips, a failed attempt to silence yourself and your phone still occasionally lit up with notifications from Ellie you’ve stopped yourself from reading a while ago.

Els <3: Babe please talk to me. You know there is nothing going on, please. Let me explain it, you’re the only one. You’re my girl.

Once the missed calls and texts died down in defeat you could finally gather your thoughts in a sigh, hands rubbing your eyes with an agression unneeded to dry tears, and it suddenly dawned on you the feeling of a stare piercing through your side that your brain has been ignoring the past couple minutes, a curse escaping your lips as you saw the flipped light of your neighbour who calmly approached the car with a concerned expression.

Overprotection was a word so familiar to you it must’ve attached itself to your family tree, and Abby Anderson was its version personified, you had moved out and even then the furthest you could’ve gotten from your parents was straight next door to your dad’s best friend. She would be sure to tell them about this and your fate would remain to be scolded and ostracised for not being able to care of yourself, alone at night crying in a driveway like the foolish child they had always claimed you to be, over a girl nevertheless. You wanted to disappear, melt into the leather seats and escape her gaze, though it was far too late, the blonde was fast knocking on your window.

“Hey petal, you okay?” She asked as you rolled down the glass, hiding a sniff on your sweater’s sleeve, swallowing tears.

“Hi Ms.Anderson”

“It’s just Abby, sweetheart” She corrects you nonchalantly before slowly opening the car door and slipping into the seat next to you “It’s almost two in the morning, why are you out here crying? Do you need me to call your dad-“

“No! God, no! Please it’s just, just stupid. I saw my girlfriend kissing someone else. Didn’t want to go into the house and see pictures of her spread around my room yet”

“That’s not stupid. Heartbreak is always awful, especially when you’re young, I’m so sorry” She says, and with the kindness you dissolve into your crying once again, a mess of sobs. It takes Abby a moment, but it still happens far too quick, her arms suddenly wrapped around your shaking body drawing circles over your back as to calm you down, she’s hushing you and placing your hair behind your ears and you are deeply embarrassed but so far gone to stop “Shhh, petal, look at me”

“I’m so sorry. You deserve so much more than that” Her voice is low, steady, there is something in it that tastes like yearning at the tip of your tongue and all your attempts to brush it off as incoherent dissipated under her intense gaze, staring at you quizzically in a silence so pure it left only heavy breathing to echo and you were scared at your close faces she’d be able to hear your heartbeat, understand what you yourself were struggling to in that moment when her eyes dropped from yours onto your lips.

“Ms.Anderson…” You breathed out hesitantly

“It’s Abby” She corrects you once again until her thumb finds its way to your cheek, gripping your face in her palm as though debating something internally while you melt into her strong touch, finding a stability within her hold that you had been craving for a long while now, too flustered in your thoughts to fully consider what it means when she took that same finger and brushed it against your lips toying with its plump softness into opening lightly for her, finger coming into your mouth to be wet by your tongue flipping around it in a suction movement. The blue in Abby’s eyes darken.

She leans forward once your eyes trace up doe looking at her, she removes her finger with a pop to press your lips together and there is an unexpected softness within the hunger, she takes her time exploring the insides of your mouth gripping your chin to steady in place. There is still time to stop, she thinks to herself, but then her grip lowers to your throat in a light chokehold and the moans you kept release inside your kiss and its muffled sound is enough to drive her past sensibility and even insanity.

“Let me show you how a real woman takes care of you, please” She’s begging and you’re blushing and nodding furiously, a whimper stuck to your throat which is not enough for her “Use your words, petal”

“Y-yes, please” You stutter out not missing the smirk growing on her face, Abby is quick to trail kisses down your neck so wet it distracts you from her hands by the clasp of your bra letting it fall onto the car’s floor, she lifts your shirt up in one swift movement and suddenly her mouth is by your breasts, hovering over your nipples until her warm breath sent them into goosebumps. You whimper impatient and she chuckles taking one into her hand and the other into her mouth, tracing circles over your sensitive area until you’re panting, knees pressing together in anticipation for her tongue elsewhere.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful” Abby whispers into your skin before moving onto the neglected breast for its own sucking “I bet your little girlfriend didn’t even know what to do with you”

Your eyes flash sadness amongst the arousal and Abby takes none of it, hands quickly unbuttoning the pants you wore and forcing them down your thighs before pressing a slap against them that shakes your body and clears your mind “Gonna make you feel good, yeah? Forget all about her”

She has her fingers down your underwear in a second, muttering curses under her breath at the wetness that completely enveloped her hand, she watches you squirm under her from the lightest of pressure and proceeds to push one finger inside, circling motions hitting your clit continuously, you are a mess of moans when her free hand grabs at your waist and straightens you forwards into riding her hand, second finger added.

“Such a good girl fucking herself on my fingers, such a fucking good girl” She mutters watching you pick up your pace, she’s kissing on your exposed skin and digging her nails across your back, uses her strenght to carry you onto her lap which only digs her fingers deeper inside you, a scream lodged in your throat from the overstimulation “Does she get you all worked up and wet like this, does she even know how to treat this pretty little pussy?” She slaps it with the question and your answer gets lost midway out.

“Abby, I’m gonna-“

“No you’re not, gotta taste you first, pretty girl” Just like that she flips you over, head where you once sat on the driver’s seat and legs up in the air, her mouth quickly latches onto your dripping cunt and it practically slurps on it.

Cat: She didn’t kiss me back. Didn’t want to need to text you this shit but Ellie’s crying and I didn’t want this to happen, I just thought she liked me. Guess she’s too into you. I don’t get it either.

Els<3: I’m kcmhng ovrr to ur hojse so we can talkkd okay pls wait fofr me i loeve you sos much baby

[night-market-if]

Answering some bulk questions

I am getting the same kind of questions in my inbox and instead of answering them all individually, I thought I would just make one long post. Hopefully that can clear some things up.

Why is m!pen white and f!pen black?

Mostly because the character of Pen is death. They have no form. Not a real one. Much like the MC, the image they are presenting is a construct. So, when I thought about that, I kind of thought it would be fun to play around with two very different aesthetics (I think in the final edit I might even write them a bit different). I did this for two reasons. One, because I haven't really seen this in ifs. And two, I kind of liked the duality of it. Opposites, really. It sat well with me for the character of death.

2. Why does nothing bad ever happen to Milo? Stop playing favorites.

Bad things have happened to Milo. More so than the other characters, I would argue. I have a feeling this is more from people annoyed that a very specific bad thing won't happen to Milo. Because Milo has watched Malcolm and MC die. Was beaten as a child. Orphaned. Didn't know where his real home was or who he was. Has a ghost for a sister. (who he also watched die). Has been responsible for keeping his best friend sane for quite a few years. And got the shittiest job in the world. He has also been stabbed at quite a bit. Betrayed. And used.

I do a lot of bad things to Milo. Favorites would be if nothing bad happened to him. And defending your characters decisions is not playing favorites. It is just knowing your characters as a writer.

3. Who is your favorite RO?

I have said before that Milo is not my favorite to write. So inevitably I get asked who is. I don't answer this question because I don't want the complaints.

4. Why don't you have stats?

Because I don't like them. I come from much more of a storytelling perspective than a game mechanics one. And don't get me wrong. People that do game mechanics are awesome. I admire them a ton and enjoy their games (though my field is more video games). But that's never what I wanted the Night Market to be. I just want people to be immersed.

5. Do you feel you have to have inclusivity as a writer?

I don't know why I've been getting this one a lot. Might be something going on in the community. The honest answer is no, I do not. I have never felt pressured to have a certain representation within the Night Market. That all being said, maybe I don't feel that way because I tend to have an organically more diverse cast of characters? But I can't say I have ever felt like I have to put a certain representation in. And I don't believe writers should feel pressure for that. Because a lot of times, if you are just putting in a token character to do it, it becomes a bit problematic.

6. What are your favorite IF's and do you have recomendations?

I hate to say this, but I don't read IF's. I've dabbled occasionally in the past but I find when I read IF's, it messes with my head and my ability to write. Now, I read a lot of novels. That is my preferred vehicle of reading. But as for IF's, I probably won't read a lot of them until I am officially done with the Night Market. I struggle to enjoy stories when I feel like it is a part of my day to day job.

7. Why don't you ever speak out politically?

Because that is private for me. I don't want to. I want to provide an escape from the world. Not add to discussions that are being had by people far more adept than me. I leave my political feelings and responsibilities at home.

8. Why can't you provide (insert numerous topics) to the route?

Because coding and writing are a bitch. There is a lot of work that goes into this stuff that isn't always fun. And sometimes, as much as I would like to put something in or have a new route, I just can't. I am one person. A person who has a pretty hefty personal life. I am doing what I can.

[razzdazzledoo]

How do you feel about people roleplaying as MX?

Alright everyone, sit down. I've been waiting for this moment.

Welcome to

RAZZDAZZLEDOO'S QUICK GUIDE TO WRITING MX!!

For those who wanna be in-line with the character while still having the freedom of not being canon.

So first things first, let's get the ground basis with MX.

MX does what he does for the reactions it brings, that kinda stuff is his entertainment. So he plans ahead, hoping to find the best snowball effect for the strongest look of terror on people's faces.

Though he doesn't plan THAT much, he gets a ground base and then improvises the rest of it so it's hard to plan ahead against him.

He's also not meant to be intimidating all the time either, his playmates will get bored if it's the same song and dance so he plays into other personalities to throw them off.

When their guard's down? He strikes while the iron's hot. And that makes them terrified even more.

Second, how he interacts with other people.

It ultimately depends on what the other person's like. Are they exactly like him? Do they have the potential to be? Or are they like Lucas where they clearly fear him?

Those kinda aspects will play into the chemistry MX can have with a person. He's best friends with Executable M and Mr. Virtual for a reason, they're just like him in the sense of 'tormenting for their own entertainment' along with whatever goals they have.

If they show fear, he'll play into it. He'll show them reasons to fear him, and then the next moment deceive them into believing there's some good in his heart. Only to then tear down those chances, and watch them crumble.

"What if I wanna ship my MX roleplay with someone?"

You have the freedom to do that, don't let me restrict you from having fun. I'll provide how he would, in-character, respond to romance. But I wanna get some rules down first.

Do not be sexual with him. That kinda shit makes me incredibly uncomfortable, not to mention I don't see him ever showing interest to the thought.

Do not ship him in problematic scenarios. This can include: People in the victim role, like MX took their soul and put them in a vessel; Characters who are directly stated to be minors; And characters that use Luigi's likeness. I outright forbid this and will not hesitate to block you if I see it.

Build up to it. MX obviously isn't going to know what the hell a "relationship" is, he's never entertained the idea and so it's going to take some time for him to learn. He's gonna have to figure out why he feels the way he does around that specific person, whether with their guidance or not.

He knows that humans can feel love, and how they respond to it, since he's been around since the universe's creation; but he personally doesn't know much on the subject.

When he realizes he's actually capable of love, he's not gonna know how to respond to it. He might even outright avoid the person he feels those emotions to since he has not an iota of knowledge with relationships.

If your interpretation of MX has an actual friendship with other muses, and he gets along greatly, he might go to them about it as a show of trust and they can help him figure it out.

Otherwise, he'd try and leave "gifts" for his special someone. Like a cat bringing you a dead bird, for comparison. Most of his gifts are eldritch abominations though, like a smaller version of one of his clouds in his world as an example.

On the other hand, if his special someone went to him first about pursuing a relationship and he does feel love towards them as well; He'd go along with it, essentially being a big giant teddy bear for them if he thinks it'd be funny enough.

If someone tries to pursue a relationship with him and he feels no attraction, he just kinda messes with them about it. Poking fun that they'd fall in love with a monster like him, who'd never love them back.

There's no canon MX ship, I just personally lean more towards Powerforest since it's a comfort ship of mine.

"What are some other tips?"

If your interpretation of MX can frown, make it have impact. That brute smiles all the time, regardless of the situation; So if he frowns, that's gonna have to mean something.

Canonically if MX frowns, he's locked in. He's not gonna waste time playing around, he wants you DEAD.

Don't be afraid to be silly sometimes.

It'd get awful boring real quick if MX was one-dimensional in a roleplay scenario, having something like that can give him way more depth and I encourage it.

You don't need to follow this guide exactly, but please still be respectful of the boundaries I expressed in here.

This is not meant to be a rulebook on how to write MX, you still have the freedom to write him how you feel most comfortable with writing him. This is just how I go about writing the character in my own spaces.

[lillaydee]

One Heart Part 7

Sheriff Joel Miller / Reader

Trying and failing miserably to recover from an inconceivable loss, you accepted your best friend's invite to spend time with her and her family for a summer, hoping for a chance at a new beginning. Little did you know that the new beginning you were stepping into was a little too close to home.

WARNING:

Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Grief/Mourning, Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Ellie is mentioned, Sheriff Joel, Sarah plays matchmaker, No age gap, Joel is in his 30s, Joel is Trying His Best (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Fluff and Angst.

SERIES MASTER LIST

PART 6

---

You waited for him to bolt. To arrest you, something. But he just looked at you, his expression didn’t change. Just waiting for you to explain.

You took another deep breath. Here goes.

“Eric and I were high school sweethearts. We got married five years ago. He was a cop, like you, worked for the local PD. A couple of years later we had Ellie. She would’ve been Sarah’s age now. She was the light of our lives. We were so happy. We had each other, our careers going well, we were thinking of having more children. So, about two years ago, I bought a new car to prepare for that, a bigger one, you know? But it was problematic. Engine kept stalling. It would just stop working. We kept sending it back to the dealership, and they fixed it, and then the problem would happen again. He told me to just sell it. It was dangerous, he didn’t want it to stall while I was driving. But it was my dream car, and he hadn’t been too thrilled when I wanted that particular model, so, not wanting the ‘I told you so’ speech, I didn’t listen. I kept negotiating with the dealership, hoping they would replace the car for a new one, but they kept postponing. Then one day…” You took a deeper breath, shaky now, emotions starting to fill you up.

Joel held your hand, thumb caressing your knuckles, silently urging you to go on. He never took his eyes off you.

“One day, the car stalled again. I was supposed to pick Ellie up from daycare. But I obviously couldn’t now, so I called Eric to ask him to get her. He didn’t answer. The car wouldn’t restart, I was by a very busy road, and he’s not picking up. So finally, I got my sister Lennie to pick Ellie up. When the tow truck got there, Eric called. So, I answered, but it wasn’t him, it was his partner.”

You stopped talking, trying to compose yourself. He squeezed the hand that he had never let go in the first place.

“There was a bank robbery, you see, and he had been at the scene when it happened. He was trying to talk the robbers down, but then his phone rang. It startled them, and they shot him.” Tears were falling in streams down your face now. How you could still talk, you didn’t know. “It was me, Joel. I called him. He was just there to deposit a cheque. He didn’t think he needed to put his phone on silent. My call killed him, Joel. Because the car I refused to sell despite his advice stalled, yet again!”

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me,” he said, his hands on your face. “You did nothing wrong, okay? You couldn’t have known.”

You gave a weak laugh. “You haven’t heard the rest of it.”

He went back to holding your hands, sitting cross legged now, across from you.

“After the shooting, I needed to arrange for the funeral, you know, but I had Ellie, so sometimes, I had to bring her with me. The day before the funeral, I was driving to the funeral home to bring them his uniform. I had Ellie in her car seat in the back. And the damn car stalled again, this time, while I was driving, just as Eric had feared, it just came to a complete halt and a truck came and…”

Your body became a wreaking, sobbing mess, your heart shattered into smaller pieces, thinking of your sweet, sweet Ellie. Joel moved to hug you, tears in his eyes, but you stopped him. You needed to get through this.

“The truck rear ended us at full speed. The car crumpled like an accordion. She was trapped, my seat was pushed to the front, and I couldn’t move, couldn’t turn my body around, I couldn’t reach back to comfort her. She was trapped between the back seat and the passenger seat, and all I could hear was her breathing slowing down. She had a bad head injury, some internal bleeding in her abdomen; she was gone before the paramedics got there. I was right there Joel, I was right there, just a couple of yards away from her, but I couldn’t reach her, and my baby died alone! Why didn’t I listen to Eric? My whole world, gone, all because I refused to sell that stupid car! I killed them both, Joel!”

He surged forward and hugged you. He lifted you up and placed you on his lap. You cried, oh, how you cried. He kept saying it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. Shh, shh, you’re okay, you’re okay, it’s not your fault. You could feel his tears fall on your neck as you cried into his. You hadn’t cried like this in a year. After six months of crying your eyes out, you were all cried out, left like a zombie, living but dead inside in Lennie’s basement, not even willing to stay in the guest bedroom, the one Ellie used to sleep in whenever she had sleepovers at her Aunt’s.

You cried, and cried, and cried. The last thing you remembered was Joel’s voice coaxing you, his warmth around you, his hands holding your head and rubbing your back.

---

You woke up to warmth, to soft puffs of air on your neck, arms around your body… and something furry on your face.

Huh?

You sat up, too quickly for your own good, your head felt three sizes bigger, you brain wobbling in your cerebral fluid, making it hard to focus. When your sight finally focused again, you studied your surroundings. Joel was rousing, perhaps from you shooting up away from his arms, Jello on your pillow, ah… that was the furry thing… thank God, and Sarah curled up on the floor, sleeping soundly. You suddenly realized that Sarah must have placed Jello on your pillow, perhaps a way to comfort you. Aww.. sweet girl.

Wait. When did she come in?

Shit. Did she see? Did she see her father spoon you?

Wait, Joel slept here? He spooned you?

Fuck.

Your body moved without your control - you ended up at the corner end of your bed, knees up to your chest, staring at Joel.

He finally opened his eyes, blinking a few times, stretching while at it, and finally saw you.

“Morning,” he said, yawning, before seeing the panicked look in your eyes. “Hey, nothing happened. You were crying, you fell asleep, I just didn’t want to wake you.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Okay,” you said, “but there’s another problem.” Your eyes went to Sarah, sleeping soundly on your living room floor.

“Shit, how did she get in?”

You shrugged. “She saw you spoon me.”

He visibly swallowed. “I spooned you?”

You nodded.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t?” You didn’t know why, but you were suddenly offended.

“I mean, of course, I would, if you wanted me to, but last night, I wasn’t aware I was doing it, so… yeah…”

Awkward silences should be illegal.

“Coffee?”

“Please.”

You heard him make a call, telling whoever it was he won’t be coming in today. You looked over, and he was lifting Sarah up, and placing her on your bed, giving her kisses on her forehead before coming to you in the kitchen - the whole three steps it took to get to your kitchen.

The two of you sat on your porch, enjoying your morning coffee, sleep evident on your faces. Jenny’s kitchen door opened, a worried looking Jenny emerging.

“Joel, Sarah…”

Joel pointed inwards towards your door. Jenny sighed, relieved, turning around to go back in, but did a double take. Omera, Winta and Will came out from the house next door, all three stopped when they saw you and Joel with your cups on your porch. Omera and Jenny hid elated smiles from coming on to their faces, failing miserably, and Will just gave Joel a knowing nod, patting him on the shoulder as he passed by.

The two of you were too exhausted to make anything of it.

“You fell asleep before I could say this,” Joel began, “but for what it’s worth, I don’t think you were responsible for what happened to your family, Lynn. I get why you felt that way but trust me. Things like this happen, and no one is to blame. It sucks, but unless you pulled the trigger, or deliberately stopped your car to be hit, you were not responsible.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I know. Is that why you came up here?”

“Yeah… I was a shell of a person; I didn’t want to leave my sister’s basement.”

“Did it help?”

“I think so. Although, this asshole neighbour of mine accused me of unthinkable things, so that was a bit off-putting,” you teased, bumping your shoulder onto his, realizing how closely he was sitting to you for the first time.

He choked on his coffee.

“Shit, I will spend the rest of my life apologizing for that, won’t I?”

“Well, for the next six weeks, anyway.”

“What do you mean?” his face was a little shocked, he didn’t know?

“I’m only here for the summer. Help with the tourist rush.”

There was something about the way he was looking at you. Like he was, disappointed? Sad? Regretful? All of the above?

Your thoughts were interrupted again when Jenny came out, a basket in her hand.

“I need to go get some eggs from the farm, and to the market for groceries. Can you watch her til I get back Lynn?”

“I took the day off, I’ll be here. Wait, I got eggs and groceries yesterday,” Joel said, frowning a little.

“Well, all the eggs are in the trash, so were the minced meat and fish you bought. I was cleaning the fridge last night, must’ve thrown them out by mistake. Getting senile in my old age. So, we don’t have eggs, and we don’t have anything for lunch,” she said, beginning to walk towards her car. She stopped abruptly. “Sarah’s gonna be hungry when she wakes up. Can you make her something Lynn? You have eggs, right? I’d ask Joel, but he burns toast.”

You laughed, telling her it’s not a problem. Joel hid his face in his hands, his ears red from embarrassment.

“The stove hates me,” he said defensively. “Not my fault.”

“Daddy? Lady?”

You both turned around. Sarah was standing by the door, Jello in her hand, looking far too chipper for a three-year-old who had just woken up.

“I’m hungry.”

You and Joel got up, you ushered her inside, asking her what she would like for breakfast.

“Omled.”

“You want Omled too, Joel?”

“Sure,” he said, smiling at his daughter’s attempts to name her favourite dishes. There had been a few since she started talking. Egg Furries, Sunshine Op, Skemble, Ha Boyd, and now, Omled. This girl loved her some eggs.

The three of you sat and had breakfast together, Joel demolishing his plate of mushroom and pepper omelettes, before looking sheepishly at you, asking you if there were some more. You gladly made him another, the two of you joking around, entertaining Sarah and Jello all morning, missing the happy looks Sarah gave you both. Joel helped you clean up despite protests from you and told you he should probably take Sarah home. The two of you found her and Jello on the rattan chair outside, Sarah whispering conspiratorially to Jello, whispers which stopped as soon as she saw you.

Joel took Sarah’s hand, asking her what she wanted to do that day, he’s not going to work, he said. Anything fun? Sarah thought for a bit, and said she wanted to go to the zoo.

“The petting zoo near the daycare,” Joel explained to you. “Maybe best to go today before school lets out next week.”

Just as he was helping her step off the porch, Sarah turned around and went back inside, pulling your hand to the area where you hung your clothes. She pulled at your pink dress.

“Lady, you wear this? We go to the zoo?”

“Oh, sweetie, you should go with your Daddy, spend some time with him,” you said, getting down to her level, worried Joel might want some alone time with her.

“I don’t mind,” his voice answered, a bit too quickly. He had followed the two of you back inside, curious what Sarah was up to.

“You sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude…”

“You wouldn't be intruding. We’d be happy to have you join us, won’t we, BabyGirl?”

Excited nod.

“Okay.”

His face broke into a wide smile, shit, he had a dimple?

“Great! Uh… pick you up in an hour?”

You nod, watching Sarah excitedly skip towards her father.

---

Joel was nervous.

You had forgiven him. You had listened to him as he told you about Sarah. You had told him about your family.

You had cried yourself to sleep in his arms.

He slept with you in his arms.

It was the best night sleep Joel had ever had, even if it was just a few hours. He woke up feeling refreshed and light.

You had joked about his faults with him.

You made him and his daughter breakfast.

The three of you had breakfast together.

He had never felt like this before. For a moment, as he was helping you clean up after breakfast, he imagined that was what his mornings would be like if the two of you were together.

Joel had gone through his life taking care of people. At first it was Tommy, shielding his little brother from their parents, and then foster parents, bullies from school. When Tommy came of age, he dedicated himself to the law, training to be a police officer, taking after his foster father’s footstep, wanting to do good, wanting to keep people safe. When Omera came along, he helped raise Winta, looking after them both as if they were his own family, especially when Will was offshore. When Javi passed, he helped care for a grieving Jenny, accepting the Sheriff position, wanting to provide for her, not that she needed him to, but after everything she and Javi had done for him and his brother, all he wanted was to take care of her. Then, Sarah came along. He focused all his time and energy on her, spending his time worrying about her well-being, wanting to give her everything she could ever need.

So, his interactions with women were limited to one-night stands and first dates, and even those stopped the moment he saw Sarah. Joel had never had the time for a romantic relationship. Never had the time to even think of one. When you came along, his heart opened wide. He was besotted by you. For once in his life, he was finally open to the possibility of a relationship with someone. Of course, he fucked it up royally, and had to spend almost a month pining for you silently, waiting for you to forgive him.

And now, when you finally did, he found out you were leaving in six weeks.

But he had six weeks. Joel was determined to make the most out of these coming weeks.

You were going to the petting zoo with him and Sarah.

Was this a date? Well, not really. He didn’t ask you out, Sarah did. But this would be his first outing with you. He needed to make a good impression.

So, yeah. Joel was nervous.

Sarah had picked out a shirt for him to wear. She picked one for herself too, to match him. She made him wear cologne. Climbed on his lap and ‘styled’ his hair for him. She made a racket in the kitchen, telling a very excited looking Jenny, who was back from 'the market', surprisingly devoid of any groceries or eggs, that Daddy was taking her and Lady to the zoo. Joel tried to act like nothing was wrong, but it wasn’t as if Jenny had just met him yesterday. She could tell her son was nervous. By the time he was knocking on your door, Sarah in his arms, he felt as if his heart was about to jump out of his mouth.

And when you opened the door, it did.

You looked perfect. Your pink dress matched his shirt and Sarah’s dress. You had put a bit of make up on and styled your hair slightly differently from the way you normally wore it, not that he had spent time studying your face or anything. He wanted to compliment you, wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked, but nothing came out, and he was starting to feel like a creep, gawking at you open mouthed without saying anything. Thankfully, Sarah did say something.

“Lady, so pweedy!!! Here, Lady, for pweedy Lady!” She handed you a pink rose.

Oh, God. She had stolen one of Jenny’s flowers from the kitchen table. When the heck did she get a flower? Were you going to think he assumed this was a date? What if you bailed? He could feel beads of sweat starting to form under his collar.

“Oh, sweetie, thank you! It’s so beautiful! You look pretty too!” you leaned in and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

Joel can smell your perfume. Shit, you smelled good.

“Wow, Sheriff Miller, you clean up nice!” you said to him, and he almost dropped Sarah from nervousness. He leaned in and gave you a quick kiss on your cheek, trying so hard not to linger.

“Erm… yeah, thanks, you smell clean too.” His eyes immediately closed in frustration.

Sarah smacked him on the ear. “Daddy! Silly Daddy!”

Joel wanted to die. What kind of a fuck up was that?

Luckily, you just laughed and said thank you, you aimed to smell clean.

“Now,” you said, “normally, I would just wear jeans and a shirt, but since my wardrobe was decided for me, I didn’t. However, I had to take a stand. I am not wearing cute, pretty shoes to a zoo. For a zoo, we want comfort.” You stepped out, showing them your sneakers. You hadn’t exactly packed for dates, not that this was one. “Tadaa!!!”

Joel laughed, immediately feeling a bit less nervous at you light-heartedness. “Lady after my own heart,” he said, “Comfort over fashion. You look perfect. Shall we?”

---

The three of you walked around as if you had always gone out together. Sarah made you hold Jello and took your other hand and Joel’s to swing between the two of you. She was so happy, so active, you never would’ve thought this girl had heart issues not two years ago. The two of you took turns holding her up whenever she wanted to see better or pet a larger animal.

You stopped for lunch at a small café. Sarah made Jello sit with Joel, and she sat next to you. You helped her with her lunch, wiping her mouth when she made a mess, and had handwipes ready to clean her up before and after lunch, the mother in you happy to do this again. You caught Joel staring at you a few times, a small smile on his face. That flipping in your stomach you told Maria about had evolved to a fluttering, your tummy felt full of imaginary butterflies every time he looked at you.

The people at the zoo, as well as the visiting locals knew Joel, of course. They kept saying hello to him. Some of them, especially those who knew you too, gave sly smiles at the sight of the three of you together. You knew what it looked like, you had matching outfits on, but surely that’s nothing? You and Joel went along with Sarah’s request, nothing more. But the ladies, tourists and locals alike, lingered a bit too much around Joel, telling him how good he looked, ooh-aahing over Sarah, telling her how cute she was, completely ignoring you. But she stepped on your left foot, hugged your leg and hid her face in your skirt, not wanting to participate. And every time, they looked you up and down, before Joel told them the three of you should be getting along, placing his hand on the small of your back to walk away. There was a bit of satisfaction on your part that he and Sarah were paying so much attention to you, but you had to stop and tell yourself that you were only here because Sarah wanted you here. So stop preening, Lynn. He was just being nice.

By the end of your little trip, Sarah was back in Joel’s arms, all tired out, but excited from the day. Just as you got to the cruiser, she asked you to take a picture. You took your phone out and snapped a picture of them together, their brown eyes and smiles identical to one another’s, down to the single dimple on their right cheeks. You were about to put your phone away after showing them the picture, when Sarah pulled you in to be closer to the two of them. “One more, Lady! You, me and Daddy!”

So, you did. The three of you in a single frame, looking like you belonged together, all in matching pink outfits, after a happy time at the petting zoo.

Sarah passed out as soon as Joel strapped her in her car seat.

“Thank you for coming along today, she was so happy. She might sleep until tomorrow. We’ll be hearing about today for weeks to come now,” he said. “We never thought we’d be hearing her talk, ever, and now she never stops, I guess we have you to thank for that. So, thank you for that, too.” His right hand let go of the steering wheel for a while, giving your hand a squeeze, before placing it back on.

“It’s no problem. I enjoyed today. I had fun. She is adorable. I’m glad she invited me. I hope that’s okay for you.”

“Yeah, of course it’s okay. I’m glad you had fun.”

The rest of the drive was quiet. But not uncomfortable. It astounded you how comfortable you were with him, considering before yesterday, you avoided him like the plague.

When you got home, you waited while Joel unstrapped Sarah from the car seat, carefully picking her up to bring home. But she woke up, rubbed her eyes and insisted to walk from there. As you were unlocking your door, Sarah asked for a ride on the bicycle. Joel tried to tell her no, Lady must be tired, but you said it’s okay. You could only take her on these ‘rides’ on Sundays and Mondays, you worked on the other days, so you didn’t mind, you loved spending time with Sarah.

Just as you were putting the helmet on her head, she refused. No, Lady. No hat. Sorry little lady, you said. No hat, no bicycle. It’s the rule. Joel stood there, smiling widely, watching you and his BabyGirl interact. She reluctantly wore the helmet, and as you were wheeling her off, she turned to Joel and told Joel to come along.

Those imaginary butterflies in your tummy had now travelled to your heart. You were glad you didn’t have to say goodbye yet.

The three of you walked around the housing area, Joel telling you about his and Tommy’s life before Jenny took them in. It was clear he adored her and her husband, Javi. Even at 18, he said he felt as if for the first time in his life, he had people he could rely on, who had his back, and he saw what a good influence they were on Tommy, on Benny, all the boys they took care of. You ran into Benny and Will and the guys by the farm, all of them whoop whooping the three of you, making vroom-vroom noises for Sarah, who giggled so aggressively she almost fell off. You were worried Joel would react badly, but he just held her and laughed, telling her to be careful. Something was different about him.

When you got back to your house, Joel walked to you door, telling you he enjoyed spending time with you today, thanking you again for coming along, and Sarah’s bike ride. He kissed you on the cheek, and this time, he let it linger for a bit, before closing the door behind you.

You leaned on the door and closed your eyes.

Yeah… you were falling for him.

‘Told you so.’

Oh shut up. You hated it when you were right.

On the other side of his kitchen door, Joel was doing the same, feeling the exact same way.

---

Joel went to bed happy that night. He spent the entire day with you. He could still smell your perfume on him. You were no longer angry at him. Of course, there was the issue with you leaving soon, but for now, he would focus on what he had. And today, for the first time in her life, he got to see Sarah run around like any normal, healthy, happy child. She was at the petting zoo, running around, squealing with excitement, and didn’t turn blue. She was a healthy child now. He truly believed that, too. He was so thankful, he needed to do something. Something he had been putting off.

He gave his friend Dr Garcia a call that night, telling him to go ahead with their previously discussed plan.

---

The next morning, you decided to go to the morning market before the lunch service, wanting to get some fresh fruits for Sarah. But when you got your bike out, your helmet was nowhere to be seen. You were frantically looking around when you heard a loud crunch from out front. You ran towards the sound, where Joel, already in his uniform, was checking underneath his cruiser.

Your helmet was under his car, crushed to pieces.

What the heck? How did it get there? You hung it on the handle when you got home from the market at 4 am. Did it walk to the car by itself?

Joel noticed you were there, his face horrified by what had just happened. “I don’t know what happened. I reversed and heard a crunch. I didn’t see it, I’m so sorry. I’ll buy you a new one. Frankie will have some to your liking, I’m sure.”

You were about to wave his offer off, surely this was not his fault.

“Oh no!!!” a tiny voice piped up. “Lady, your hat broke.”

You and Joel turned around. Sarah was standing on the porch, still in her pyjamas, Jello in her arms, looking dramatically shocked at the sight she was seeing, complete with her hands on her tiny face.

“Daddy, you take Lady in your car. Her hat broke,” she said.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll just…”

“No Lady, no hat, no bazkel. Isza rule!” and pulled your hand towards the passenger door. Did she just parrot your words back at you? She waited until you got in. “Daddy, take Lady. I go in now,” and took off.

Joel watched her run back into the house, slamming the door behind her. He got in the car with you. Both of you stunned in silence, before both of you spoke.

“What just happened?”

---

PART 8

[f0rlornmyths]

TITLE:  PICTURESQUE 

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Summary: You always want far too much. Warnings: Problematic work relationships, age gap (Javi is in his 40s, reader is an entry level journalist do with that what you will.), slow burn I'm sorry guys, uhhh Javi is a little touchy for nooo reason in this. yeah! idk

Wordcount: 2.5k

AO3: Here

AN: This is my first fic in a very very very long time, and my first reader fic in general, this is just for fun really idk? but thank you my lovely and dear friend @netherfeildren​ for pushing me to write this!

CHAPTER ONE MONDAY

You should have left earlier, today of all days, you should have known better. Tucked in a mess of limbs and briefcases in the elevator, the morning rush at Spring Street was in full force. Since starting at the LA Times, you have done your best to avoid the stampede of worn-out reporters, slimy business executives, and overworked secretaries as they made their way up the Kaufmann Building, but it seemed as though your alarm clock had other plans for you.

But nonetheless, you must adapt despite the way your stomach twists in anxiety as your eyes drop to the sleek watch on your wrist, there was still time.  The elevator door dings and a shuffle of bodies reorganizes themselves as people begin to leave the compartment. You step back to allow a woman to make her way out when you’re pushed right onto the man standing behind you, a soft noise of surprise leaving your lips as the smell of cigarettes and a hint of ink waft into your nose.  

Your cheeks flush — already too embarrassed to take a look back, but you can feel the warmth of his chest pushing against your shoulders and a firm hand touching the back of your waist as if to settle you. He lets out what you assume to be an amused chuckle, the sound dragging a small burst of heat from within you. There’s a warm, underlying musk, an almost earthy scent to him that you’re sure will linger, just as the feeling of a firm chest will surely haunt you the rest of the day.

It felt nice — despite the mortification that threatened to seep out of you. 

“Careful now,” His voice is just as soothing as his laughter and your stomach continues to drop, your throat dry.  You allow yourself to lower your gaze down. His fingers are large —and his touch is almost anchoring, but despite the sense of stability and ease you feel at the moment, a slight annoyance begins to bubble up. It wasn’t the first time a man had used a clumsy misstep to touch you but before you could say anything, as quick as the hand appeared, he pulls away from you. There’s a heavy stare at the back of your exposed neck, and you wonder if he feels as unnerved by the encounter as you.

“Sorry.” You mutter, not bothering to turn back to meet his gaze before the elevator dings again, alerting your arrival to the third floor, you hastily step through the crowd, following the other reporters making their way into the newsroom. The man is of little importance to you, no not today you will not be distracted by the smell of cigarettes and the touch of a strong hand. 

You’re too preoccupied slipping out of the elevator even to acknowledge the man exiting soon after you. 

Despite what films and television shows the main newsroom tended to be rather quiet, only the rhythmic sounds of keyboard clicking filling the air and the tapping of kitten heels and dress shoes hitting the carpet floor as people hurried along to their next interview or to another department. 

You hurry along between the desks and cubicles, a set of directions scribbled on the small piece of paper given to you by the bored receptionist downstairs when you had received your new press badge, tucked into your palm. The newly minted investigation team was hidden in some small office space, near the back of the newsroom, nestled within the dark corner with several desks clustered within the space.

The room is empty beside a man leaning against one of the desks, fiddling with a camera. You perk up at the familiar face. Jared breaks into a grin as he spots you, pulling his attention away from the camera in his hand. “‘S not like you to be late.” He says, patting at the empty desk. “But our new editor isn’t here yet, so I guess you’re off the hook for now.”

You would never peg Jared as a friend, but you had both been in the same internship cohort — diversity hires some people had sneered. The lone girl in the program and Jared being the product of some G.I’s fling back in Korea didn’t make you two the most popular. A steady friendship had formed, sneaking each other granola bars and transcribing each other’s interviews if needed. But Jared had spent the last year in the Sports department — partying it up with Lakers and college football teams while you were stuck on the local education beat, sitting through endless board meetings, testy parents and the slow defunding of public schools.

Interesting enough, but not what you went into journalism for, the stary-eyed visions of backdoor meetings, government scandals, and secret code names still plagued your dreams. Oh, how All the President's Men seduced you into a life of all-nighters, stale coffee and the ever-moving rotation of condescending nicknames like sweetie, honey and baby from senior reporters. A thought passes your mind; you wonder how those pet names would sound coming from the man in the elevator, would it be said with a playful lift to it, would his voice deepen as he mouthed the syllabl—

An annoyed huff escapes your lips, as you plop down on the plastic chair, that irritating burst of heat furls tight in your chest. Heartburn surely. But the lingering trace of warmth remains, crawling up your spine, tells you differently. 

“Isn’t it our first meeting? How can our editor be late?” You question, eyes flickering to the large clock hung up on a nearby wall — you still held to your old college professors’ wisdom, a late journalist was a useless one, and there was no room for inefficiency.  And there was little room for failure for you, who already had to jump through more hoops, and navigate through thicker trees than the rest of the reporters. 

You always want far too much.

Jared shrugs, settling comfortably in his own seat, “From what I heard, Peña isn’t one to go by the books, but they created the investigation team under him for a reason.” And that’s true; you’ve heard whispered of your new editor, coming down from down south, he had quickly made a name for himself with exposing drug cartels, pissing off the higher ups and having little care of journalistic niceties. He rarely came into the newsroom, and all of your interviews for the investigation team went through the deputy editor, Steve Murphy.  

“It’s just not very professional.” You mumble as you begin to pull out your notebook from your bag.

—

There’s a shuffling of footsteps as the door opens, and a tall scarecrow of a man enters the room. “Mornin’ folks,” it only takes a moment for you to realize it’s Steve, who, despite looking like some all-American propaganda poster, was alright. For some hillbilly, at least that’s what your old editor used to whisper. “Seems like y’all made it in one piece, that’s good.”

The education and sports sections were settled on the same level, mind you, but any biting commentary is swallowed with a sweet smile instead. But your mind blanks as another set of footsteps follows Steve in. 

You let out a soft cough at the appearance, the folds of your collar feeling all too restricting, a ripple of nerves traveling up your spine. The smell of heady cologne and nicotine passes through and the memory of the firm hand and deep voice is vibrant enough that you quickly cross your ankles beneath your desk. 

It’s him, the man from the elevator. You chew the inside of your cheek, swallowing the burst of anxiety that threatens to escape your mouth.

A dark-haired man (older? early 40s maybe?), his wide shoulders covered in a white collared shirt (though, two buttons remain loose, showing far too much of his neck and chest) enters, his face emotionless but as his gaze catches yours, his lip twitches only for a moment from underneath his trimmed mustache. Before he turns, and you’re sure you’ll remember those eyes forever, seared in your mind like a scar. 

“You must be the new reporters.” He says with a wave of his hand, walking past your desk and towards the back of the room, leaning against his desk with an expression much more suited for some suave CIA agent than some overworked journalist. “Javier Peña, but just call me Javi, Javier, Peña, whatever, but none of that hierarchy stuff. That shit’s annoying.” 

And suddenly, the only thoughts filling your mind are if the cleaning crew would forgive you if you managed to throw up onto the tacky carpet beneath your heels.

——

One of the lapels of your collar was tucked underneath your blazer — Javier had noticed it in the elevator hours before, his fingers found themselves itching to pull it out was almost overwhelming. You hadn’t fixed it yet, too engrossed by whatever pitch you were cooking up on your computer, your lips pulled between your teeth as you worked. 

It wasn’t like him to be so distracted, well, during work hours, by a pretty face.

But the urge to pull the rumpled lapel from underneath your jacket was almost unbearable, and the empty state of the page in front of him was proof of it. 

You perk up, pushing your chair back abruptly you swiftly make your way out of their shared office space, and you turn your head back to the other new reporter, Josh? Jacob? Jared? You make a point not to make direct eye contact with him,  your eye line just shifting a bit above his head, and a part of him wants to grip your chin and force you to look into his eyes, a horrible and ridiculous side of him.

“I’m going down to records for a bit.” You sound almost excited, your foot bouncing as if you were some rabbit eager to run off before you became prey.  

Would you thrash in his hold? Would he have to keep a firm grasp on your waist just like in the el—

Stop it, is this what it’s come to? Leering over the reporters under his command, unable to look at a co-worker without thinking of how she would look buckling under his touch?  

Javier shuts his eyes in frustration — fingers rubbing the side of his temple, the room is silent outside of the clicking of typewriters and the faint sounds of your heels heading out the door. 

White heat rattles inside of Javier, and it almost burns like he is a hot air balloon, waiting to explode as he sinks further into his chair. The lingering scent of your presence is mostly a figment of his imagination — but even with his eyes closed, he can still see the nape of your neck, peeking out of your collar, the smooth skin beckoning him and the smell of your soap seeping from your skin. 

But Javier liked to think he had left these days behind him, too grizzled and experienced to be swayed by a random shot of attraction. That hadn’t come this far in his career by dumb luck, while some gossiped that he cared little for newsroom niceties and had inappropriate methods of retaining sources — but there was a reason why Crosby had chosen him of all people to lead the new investigation team. 

He knew who you were as soon as you stepped onto that elevator, the same coy smile and eager eyes that stared back at him in that photo in your file. He had read your articles, he knows you were dissatisfied with your former assignment, how you were practically the first one to run to transfer from your department. Your old editor, what was his name? King, Jameson, whatever it was had merely shrugged when Javier had mentioned wanting you on his team, “Don’t those young girls just come in to get married off anyways?” The memory alone causes Javier to feel a sharp pain of annoyance run up his temple, but was he any better?

No, not really — he’s always wanted too much.

“Gotta meet with Councilman Rodgers,” Javier mumbles — grabbing his notepad and shoving it into his back pocket, as he spared a glance at Murphy, who seemed all too interested in playing solitaire on his computer to pay him much mind. 

— 

The newsroom was almost empty when you returned back to the office; the records you were searching for earlier that day had been missing from the archives, leading you on a wild goose chase through city hall.

The moonlight shined through the office space, the little corner where your shared office was quiet, but the rippling smell of cigarette smoke signals that you are not alone. 

He’s there, sitting at his desk, surrounded by a haze of smoke and you breathe in careful streams of nicotine as you carefully shuffle into the room, eyes watching him. He’s unfairly pretty, with his brown curls and thick shoulders, long fingers cradling the cigarette as he reads through a manila folder.

“You could have gone straight home.” There’s something in his voice, reckless and unafraid. And that ball of heat returns in your stomach. 

Your eyes dart up — caught, and your tongue curls between your teeth, before your mind forces itself back to usefulness. “I had things to do still.”  Curt, professional, as it should be.

Javier is moving before you realize but you find yourself stepping back until your back hits the edge of your desk. You’re unsure of what you want to do, but the urge to quell this lull of desire is forefront in your mind, you want to yell — you want to stomp your feet to demand respect, to shed the embarrassment from your first meeting.

Want — you want — he’s so close, almost crowding you against your desk, his hand reaches out, covered with pen marks, nails cut neatly and as you watch him, his brown eyes shining with something you can’t place, desire? Annoyance? 

You shut your eyes, his large fingers moving towards your neck, his touch surprisingly gentle as he begins to trail down the side of your collarbone and leave a tingle of heat in its wake. “W-what are you doing?” You feel as though your heart is stuck in your ribcage, almost cringing at the timidness in your voice. 

He hums that same blasé tone again. He continued in his movements until his fingers reached the top of your collar, pulling out the lapel from underneath your blazer where it had hidden with a tenderness you did not expect.

Those brown eyes meet yours again; his lips twist into a satisfied grin as he smooths the piece of fabric underneath his touch. Your own fingers grip the wooden desk beneath you, and the breath you didn’t even know you were holding escapes your lips, confusion throbbing in your mind as you stare up at him.

“Be careful on your way out.” 

You can only watch as he walks away, the searing touch of his fingers still on your skin as you struggle to find your composure.

[toorumlk]

what are your other fav ships from harry potter aside from romione! love love your art so much!

thank you friend!!!! ehehe i have a few ships i enjoy but let it known that im a full fledged canon enjoyer and some of these ships can be deemed “”problematic”” but please know i have the wherewithal to understand when its fiction and i just love a good story

- grindledore (!!!!!! huge old man yaoi enjoyer but also, the greatest wizard of his era had a torrid love affair when they were 17-18 with his generation’s most notorious dark wizard? they were next door neighbours but still sent letters to each other at night bc they couldn’t stop talking?? this horrible dark wizard is the great dumbledore’s one true love and his achilles heel and the reason for all his grief and suffering? SIGN ME TF UP)

- tedromeda (i find them so heartbreaking, the sunny muggleborn hufflepuff boy who stole the heart of the slytherin girl who comes from the most infamous blood supremacist family, i looovee andromeda she’s one of the few slytherins who deserves rights in my book)

- snily (i like them mostly platonically but i don’t mind them romantically either)

- tomarrymort *starts breakdancing*

i actually enjoy a lot of the snape ships bc i really like snapes character so, snupin (like what do you MEAN snape was making monthly wolfsbane potion for lupin in poa), snack, and… snarry (DONT WHACK ME there’s something i find titillating about a 30 year old harry with a 51 year old sev)

- LINNY

- i love ronarry but mostly as a tortured bi harry who has an unrequited crush on his clueless best friend

- wolfstar but only the middle-aged, life has beat them up, gary oldman/david thewlis version of them (i actually don’t find the fanon young version of them all that interesting…)

- jily (but within reason…. i think james potter is a dickhead and i don’t like him very much)

- oh!!! this is the one marauders ship i like i think the kids call it quillkiller which is bellatrix and rita skeeter ohhh hell yeah that sounds so good

- i also fw bellamort a little bit but only in an abstract messed-up concept way

that’s all i can think of, i know that some of these are unpopular and my reasonings behind a lot of them certainly are in the fandom but I’m speaking my truth.. romione still on top forever though

[moniairis]

I love the team ADeuce + Grim and Prefect. They rent free in my head. I mean, I love the 1st year gang in general, but these four have a special space in my heart.

They are such a wholesome team of friends. I've always loved Deuce since day 1, Ace came a little after. But they gained my eternal love and respect after they travelled by public transport to Sage island because they had a "help we're stuck" text. Two 16 years old straight up left their families and home during the FREAKING holiday (the only few weeks they can see family during the school year-) so they could help their two friends by traveling for 2 or more days in public transport. They deserves the world for it (even if calling the police would have been quicker- The feeling are there and well received-)

And don't get me started on Grim because, like I would do to my cat, I would forgive him anything. Like. He doesn't want the tuna because it's not his usual brand ? Yeah you little picky one. You annoy me. You will eat this....okay don't look at me like this, I will get you your usual one tomorrow. Can I pet you ?

For Ace and Grim it's more a kind of love-hate, like you love your annoying sibling. "You are a jerk. But you will fight for me and I will fight for you. And your funny. And sometime cute. Don't smile at me like this-". And Deuce is a sweetheart. I can say a lot but between the chick incident and "I want to make my mom proud of me now-". Boy had his redemption arc before the start of the game, let me be there and support you 🥺

So, all of this to say I love them. They are a wholesome team of friends. And they feel like home. The kind of feeling you only have with close friends. People who will see you at your best and your worst and wants you whatever you are at your best or worst. People who will love your qualities and your flaws, see in you and love things in you you thought everyone would hate. The kind of people you go see to "do homework/help for something. But not long, we have things to do" and screw up things. You ended up talking about all and nothing until night falls and after.

Someone once told me they are friends you make that become your family, a second family you made for yourself and have chosen. I really think that the kind of friendship these four have/will have. They care for each other. Will go save the others/worried to death even if -honestly- the others kinda deseved it (we remember all the Anemom incident, the text of Scarabia without respond without thinking ADeuce would freak out or the "leaving school to save Grim without telling anyone". I mean- They are a chaotic group- They take turn in facepalming and competiting for the 1st place at the most problematic member of the team-). They are like a bunch of siblings facepalming/laughing at the mess another made but who will always be there for each other.

EVERYTHING, just to say I started to write a Shroud family fluff and had the need to write a whole page about a "broom trip" - a road trip with broom of these four during the summer break between their 3th/4th year. Like "come on buddies. We're are freshly adults. And we're going to go on a trip before we're going to be busy with internship/graduation/future." Obviously they ended losing themsleves in unknow woods. Obviously no network. Yes. They did fight a Phantom again. Yes. I have now a new thing to write about the whole trip because it has nothing to do in the Shroud family fluff but it's super fun-

I need to learn how to summarize things and go to the point.

[absolutebl]

Hii do you have any recommendations for bl that’s similar to Bad Buddy, My School President, and Semantic Error? Idk I’m looking for something fluffy, but with some angst for flavor (also potentially school setting but it doesn’t have to be). Anyways thank you so much!! 💟💟

10 Fluffy Yet Angsty BLs + School Setting (By Request Rec List)

Examples: Bad Buddy, My School President, Semantic Error

Interesting selection. I added the "school setting" to keep me tailored down. Let's see what we got.

You'll never guess how we are gonna start...

Did ya guess?

Seven Days

Japan 2015 - grey

Never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses.

I Cannot Reach You

AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Japan 2023 - Netflix

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen. Full review.

Light On Me

Korea 2021 Viki

Korea does an elegant pastiche of traditional live action yaoi but all tropes are cleverly deployed to bolster one of the most riveting love triangles ever put on screen… and I don’t like love triangles. LoM strategically tailors classic BL tropes to 2 different semes resulting in pristine pacing, plot, and character development, explicitly serving narrative (not just to tick boxes). LoM is a master class in this trope drops. (If you write fanfic or romance you should study this show.) Full review.

Cherry Blossoms After Winter

Korea 2022 Viki

Korea took on early Japanese sweet yaoi but gave it their signature softness and precise production with a STUNNING color palette (beautiful pastels, sun-saturated over-exposure), manga framg style, some traditional BL character archetypes, that tiny edge of bullying roughness and out-of-control seme, plus FINALLY a palatable take on the stepbrothers trope and it was, in a word, classic. Sophisticated and understated CBAW is not slow, it’s just subtle. It's dream-like and atmospheric, as if the whole thing took place under cold water on a warm spring day. Is there plot or peril? Not really. Do we care? Also, not really. Look, I can’t help it, I’m old school and so is this show. I grew up reading sweet yaoi, and this was THAT YAOI just on my screen. There’s no objectivity with me and this show. It’s a beautiful pastiche and I loved it for how it made me feel and what it remded me of. It’s not flawless, but it is a wonderful experience. Full review.

Takara-kun and Amagi-kun

Japan 2022 Gaga and Viki

I gnawed on my knuckles and squealed a lot with this show. Reserved cool kid who must learn to communicate to keep the tiny disaster nugget he’s madly in love with. It is beyond charmg: soft and gentle, packed with cuteness and high school angst, thirst, & yearning. Was there plot? Not really. Was it emotionally tense and paced well enough for me not to notice? Absolutely. Did I enjoy the hell out of it? Oh yes. Full review.

Blueming

Korea 2022 - iQIYI

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL, but if you want your md ever-so-slightly messed with and your intimacy hellishly sweet, this BL will do it for you in a coldly distant manner, while bitch slapping you with self worth issues. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becomg a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becomg the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Bluemg included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, this is a great BL. Full review.

About Youth

Taiwan 2022 - Gaga

A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by real world authenticity and grit. Full review.

My Love Mix Up

AKA Kieta Hatsukoi

Japan 2021 - Viki

Completely adorable absolute chaos bi disaster muffin falls accidentally and utterly in love with his classmate, hijinx and friendship result. What’s great about this BL is that it deals with things like homophobia, asexuality, and one sided affection in an extremely gentle and palatable way. Perhaps sometimes too subtle, but I believe this is a great show for younger audiences, particularly if you want to spark conversations about identity, sexuality, authority, truthfulness, and consent. Oh and it’s funny.

The Eclipse

Thai 2022 - YouTube

GMMTV does gay Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing. This is a good show but the cast is excellent and the leads are absolutely flawless, which elevates it beyond just good. We got a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection, plus plenty of angst. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with a finale that features verbal consent and a fun blooper reel.

Destiny Seeker

Thai 2023 - WeTV

Frankly this probubly ranks along side most of hte runners up, but it's chronically under watched so I wanted to give it a special shout out.

A darn near perfect pulp featuring 3 likable grumpy/sunshine pairings with uncomplicated iterations of enemies to lovers. At least one half of each does a decent amount of pining and there’s good chemistry, classic tropes, and communication rep. It’s fun and full of linguistic jokes. Sublimely cheesy but a good rainy day offering with tons of rewatch potential. Full review.

Honorable mention

These satisfy your criteria but I jsut personally like the above 10 better. And you did ask me, still OPTIONS!

2gether & Still 2gether

A Breeze of Love

Between Us

Dark Blue Kiss (+ Kiss Me Again - PeteKao Cut)

Hidden Agenda

Love By Chance

Love Class

Love Class 2

SOTUS

Star in My Mind

TharnType

Theory of Love

Why R U? Thailand

Why R U? Korea

(source)

[justplainwhump]

Bea

In a moment of despair, Bea finds herself.

[Pet Safety Masterlist]

Content: BBU, BBU recovery, recapture(-ish) - but really, mostly recovery.

Bea. Bea.

She'd said the new name to herself in the mirror, every time she looked at one; sometimes out loud when she was home alone; just a soft mumble at other times. "Good morning, Bea", she would say, or "Good evening, Bea", and the one-eyed woman in the mirror would smile a beautiful smile, and the pet who wasn't really a pet any longer would smile back.

She held on to her old name, too, deep inside, the old name and its old life, its flickers of memory, vague faces, echoes of touches.

Bea, however, was now. A new life, a new name, even a new face. Maybe less regular than the old one, less perfect. But beautiful. Happy.

And she owed it all to Adrian Delgado, the man who was cowering next to her on the street right now, his hands on the shoulders of a skinny, shaking runaway pet.

"We'll get you out of here," Adrian mumbled into the runaway's hair.

They'd found him huddled up in a narrow alleyway on their walk home from dinner, feverish and injured. Adrian hadn't hesitated. With practised routine, one hand had dialed Marta's number, the other wrapped a scarf around his face, before he'd sank to his knees to check the pet's health. He wasn't good. Bea knew. She'd seen similar injuries. She'd suffered them, too. And she'd barely survived.

"Please," the pet whimpered now. "Please don't make me go back, please."

"You won't. My friend will be here soon," Adrian said, holding his hand. "She'll help you."

"Negative." Marta's voice through the phone was pressed, sharp. "A, B, you need to bail, right now, we have a WRU re-ac team coming in."

"Please," the pet whispered again and grabbed Adrian's other hand, too. "Please. Not back to my owner."

The phone cracked. "Are you leaving? Fuck. You're not leaving, A, I'd hear that. Fucking run, or you bring him in to WRU yourself, you hear me? Don't blow your cover."

The pet sobbed.

Bea reached for the phone and got to her feet. There wasn't a mirror here, only Bea's dull reflection in a dirty storefront window, her face half shadowed in the streetlight. Hi Bea, she thought. Hi, girl. You're good. You've got this.

"Bea," Adrian called. "What are you doing?" He shook off the pet's hand.

Bea held his gaze. "Get A and the pet," Bea said into the phone, carefully avoiding their names just as Marta did. "I'll handle the team."

"What?"

She shoved up her sleeves, turned her wrist in the streetlight, so the black lines of her bar code shone. "They return runaways to their owners," she said. "Let them return me, not him."

"No," Adrian rose as well, the pet mindlessly sobbing at his feet. "You can't go back to Ja-"

"Jack's not my owner," she reminded him softly. "You are." She smiled. "Tell them I ran, after dinner. I am a good liar, Sir. So are you."

"Do it, B," Marta called via phone. "Now!"

Bea tossed the phone back to Adrian and pointed to her feet. "You told me to run. I have good shoes."

From the main street, the brakes of a heavy car echoed into the alley. Adrian deftly grabbed the pet, pressed a hand on his mouth. Already running towards the corner, Bea knew they were getting cover.

Just in time.

A man and a woman in WRU black stepped out of a van, just as Bea cut around the corner. "Hey," the woman called, hand on her shock baton. "You! Stop!"

Bea stopped, slowly lifted her hands, making sure they could see the bar code.

It was some meters. It was fine. She just needed to get them away from Adrian Delgado and the injured pet. She took some measured steps backwards, keeping her distance. "Please," she cried, just as the runaway had. "Please. I can't go back!"

"Respect," the man boomed, his own baton already in hand.

Bea's knees trembled, but didn't waver. Broken, they'd called her in WRU refurb. Messed up. Stupid. Dysfunctional. Problematic. Because she'd obeyed, done her best to appease them, to survive. But she'd stopped believing. In the handlers, in the truth of the rules, in the power of their orders.

"No," she whispered. Because she could. "Never."

"Stubborn, little shit." The man reached for his taser.

Bea spun on her heel and ran.

"Fuck," the man yelled. "After her. Go! Go!"

She heard footsteps behind her, the screeching tires of the van as it turned on the street, and she knew she wouldn't be able to escape them.

But she didn't need to. She just needed to make it around a corner or two, just clear the path to the alley with Adrian and the runway.

And she knew she could do that.

Good job, Bea, she thought.

Running away from a WRU reacquisition team, her good shoes carrying her, wind in her face, raindrops on her skin, Bea felt herself smile.

She still did, two corners later, when the van drove on the sidewalk in front of her, when a baton crashed into her ribs and she was thrown over the van's hood. When a scanner beeped over her wrist, when the man mumbled number and designation.

For the first time, it didn't feel like hers.

She wasn't a number. She was Bea. And finally, she knew, who Bea was meant be.

----

-

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