#my point is that your experience here is entirely up to you and you can find pockets of this community you thrive in

[classyrbf]

SHE'S A SUCCUBUS! — CHOSO KAMO

SYNOPSIS...as a sex demon, she can always sense the horny virgin boy who’s dying to lose his virginity

INFO...choso x succubus!reader, sub!choso, virgin!choso, somnophilia, riding, overstim, creampie, oral (m!receiving and f!receiving), slight ass eating, cum eating, doggy, squirting, choso is super needy and eager, not proofread

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

Choso always felt left out when his friend would constantly talk about all the girls they’ve been with, all the experiences they had and what crazy shit they always got into. He’d just sit there, silent. He couldn’t relate to them not one bit. The closest he’s ever to having sex is his right hand or a sex toy. No girl ever looked his way, and his confidence was crushed. They’d only go after his friends, practically drooling over them. Not one of them spared a glance towards Choso.

He was begging to lose his virginity, dying to know what real pussy felt like, how soft tits felt in his hands or even some ass. God, don’t even get him started on wondering what it feels like to receive head. His friends swear it’s the best thing ever as long as the girl knows what she’s doing. He always watches porn, the women on their knees, slobbering all over the man dick like it was some divine dessert. He loved watching the way their pussies wrapped around the mans dick, just imagining how wet and warm it is. He was a lost cause. At this point, he was ready to pay someone to take his virginity. Literally.

And just like any other night, he goes back home, ready to fuck his fist to another average porn video before dozing off to sleep. He’s been extremely horny lately, more than usual and he can’t understand why. Not to mention the wet dreams he’s been having, waking up to cum in his pants like he’s a damn teenager. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, feeling the need to cum more and more everyday.

Hours later, he’s fast asleep, tossing and turning as he has another wet dream of someone riding him. He can’t make out her face, but it feels so damn real. Everything does. Even her moans and the weight on top of him. “Mmm,” he hums. His brows furrow. He can even hear the sound of skin on skin. His entire body feels like it’s on fire right now, like he’s been hit with some sort of sex pollen. It’s more intense than ever.

Little does he know it’s not a wet dream, no, it’s you. The succubus who’s been watching him for weeks, feeling his urgency to cum, to lose his virginity. He’s summoned you without even realizing. And now you were riding him, gliding your wet pussy up and down his aching cock while he slept, waiting for the moment he wakes up and realizes he’s no longer a virgin. He twists and turns when you run your clawed nails down his pale skin, smiling at the way he moans and whimpers in his sleep.

Choso couldn’t take this overwhelming feeling anymore, forcing himself to wake up, prying his tired eyes open. But the feeling doesn’t stop. The sounds don’t stop. And certainly the woman is his dreams doesnt disappear when he opens his eyes. “Wha—ah—what? Who…? Oh fuck!” He rasps, eyes darting around the room and over your naked body. “What the fuck? Oh my goddd.” As confused and scared as he is right now, he can’t escape the pleasure coursing through him right now.

“Shhh, shhh, just let me make you feel good. You’ve been dying for this haven’t you? I’m here to give you exactly what you want.” You slightly lean back, spreading your legs to let him get a clear view of the way your pussy sucks his cock in.

He looks at you with awe and confusion, but he can’t help but give in, moaning so sweetly when you fully sink down. “Who…who are you?” He gasps, eyes widen when you clench your pussy around him.

“I know when cute virgins like you wanna lose their virginity. You summoned me, accidentally. You’ve been so worked up lately, huh? Well,” you smile, “that was because of me.” His cock twitches inside of you, your hips bouncing faster and harder, watching the way he mouth falls open.

“Fuck, fuck! It’s feels so good,” he heaves, breathing heavily. His cheeks dusted a light pink. “I don’t wanna cum just yet, please slow down. Please, please—nnghhh, fuckkkk.” Choso didn’t stand a chance, shooting sticky ropes of cum into your pussy, his entire body quivering with how intense his orgasm was. “Please, slow down—ah, oh my god. It feels too good—” His eyes rolled into the back of his head as you kept fucking him.

“I’ll keep fucking you till there’s nothing left.” You lean forward, pressing your chest against his, placing your lips on his while you kiss him with such fervor, with such sloppiness. His hands reach down, gripping the plush flesh of your ass. He swears he’s in heaven right now. This can’t be real. No way a sex demon was taking his virginity right now. His dick was so sensitive, but still so hard. He knew he had so much cum left, the only thoughts he had were to fill you up over and over until it was dripping out.

He felt like he was losing his mind, fucking him so hard, creating a sloppy mess where you two met just so you can get him to cum again. Your devilish yet sweet giggles send chills up his spine and straight down to his already throbbing dick. With labored breaths, and his heart rattling against his rib cage, he already knows he’s going to cum again. So soon. “Come don’t hold back on me. I want it all,” you growl in his ear. “I’ll do whatever it takes to empty you dry and fuck you stupid.”

His trembling fingers grip onto your ass harder as he cries out, broken moans swallowed by your kisses and he can’t help but cum again, filling up your tight pussy to the brim. You pull away from the heated kiss looking at the way his hazy eyes stare up at you with such desperation. You halt the movement of your hips and get up from his lap. “No, no, wait. Where are you going?! Please, keep fucking me.” He sits up, watching you get on your knees. Poor thing looks like he’s almost about to cry.

And now he can get a real good view of you. The tail that swayed around and the small little horns that pointed from the top of your head. You really were a sex demon. Your hand took a firm grip on his throbbing cock, his tip leaking like it was begging you to make it cum again. “I can see your thoughts. Your nasty little thoughts.” You run a long stripe from his balls all the way to his tip, licking the excess cum off. Your tongue was freakishly long, but god did it feel so good on him. You spit on his cock, massaging it in as you stroke him, moving your hand in circular motions that make his hips jump. “Say it. I know what you’re thinking.” Your lips curl into a smirk, running the pad of your thumb over his slit.

“Put…put your mouth on it, please,” he says barely above a whisper, too shocked to even form proper words.

“Louder.” You massage his balls with your free hand, earning a guttural groan from him.

“Please, put your mouth on it! Fuck, I wanna know how good it feels!” His lip quivers, his breathing quickening the closer your lips get.

“Good boy.” You smile, darting your tongue out and wrapping it around the base of his cock, swirling it around the head before you take him in your mouth. You stare at him through thick lashes, bobbing your head up and down his thick shaft, spit spilling from the corners of your mouth. Glug, glug, glug.

The sound of you choking on his dick was like music to his hears, taking his all the way down your throat with no problem. How is he supposed to keep up? His brain is fried and his body already feels so weak from cumming two times in a row. But he can’t stop. It’s like you’ve put some kind of spell on him to make him want more. “Shit, I’m all the way in,” he gasps, fall back onto the pillows. You pull him out of your throat, string of saliva connect from your lips to his cock as you continue stroking him. You were so messy, so nasty, but he loved it so fucking much because this is always how he’d picture it.

You spit back on his cock before taking him down your throat again without warning. “Oh my—fuck me, I’m gonna fucking cum again!” He whimpers. His body jolts and his abs tense up at the sensation, pleasure shooting through his body like electricity. He’s so sensitive he can’t help it. His hips buck up into your mouth and next thing he knows, he’s cumming down your throat. “Nnngh shit!” He groans, each orgasm more intense than the last. It’s like as time goes on, he can’t help but get more horny, more greedy.

Within seconds he’s pulling you off his dick on bending you over, pulling your ass in the air. “I’m sorry, I can’t stop, I can’t stop, I can’t,” he’s muttering to himself, sweat dripping down his body. He pushes every inch into you with such ease, like your pussy was made for him. “Feels so good, feels so good I can’t stop stop,” he cries, rummaging his hips into you, fucking hard and fast.

“You’re learning so quickly.” You smile from below him, pushing your ass back against his hips. He watches the way your ass bounces back on his dick and he becomes mesmerized. “That’s it! Fuck me harder. Show me how badly you wanna cum in my pussy again,” you giggle.

Choso pushes your head into the mattress, broken moans falling from his lips. “I need it so badly, so fucking badly.” Your pussy grips him like a vice and he hisses at the tempting feeling.

“Make me squirt all over your cock! Come on, fuck me like you mean it!” You grip the sheets below you, feeling his swollen head press against your sweet spot over and over with each grueling thrust. Upon hearing your words, Choso remembers all those videos he’s watching of girls squirting, and to make you squirt just because of him makes his brain fuzzy. He keeps the same pace, huffing and panting when your pussy grows tighter. “Yes! Yes!” You laugh, sighing in relief when he pulls out and clear liquid shoots from your pussy, coating his cock and sheets.

His eyebrows raise in amazement. “Holy fuck,” he watches the way your pussy leaks before urgently ramming his cock back inside of you. “Do it again. Squirt all over me again! Please! It’s so fucking hot!” He begs as he pounds your pussy like his life depends on it. “Wanna watch you—nnngh—squirt again!”

As if on cue, your pushy gushes around him again, soaking his thighs and his cock and just the sight of it makes him cum so hard he’s toppling over you. “Fuck! I’m cumming!” He thrusts deep inside of you, making sure not to waste even a drop. “Yes, yes!” He huffs, bucking his hips. “I need to taste you, need to fucking—mmm.” He drops to his knees, pulling your ass back against his face while his tongue slurps every drop his cum and your juices, licking through your sloppy folds and sucking on your clit.

“Eager little thing, aren’t you? Such a good, good boy.” You praise, reaching behind you, taking a fistful of his hair and pushing his face deeper into your cunt. His moans at your taste, his free hand reaching down to stroke his swollen and sensitive cock. He moves his tongue up and down, running back and forth between your clit and your ass, and back down to your hole. You quickly pull him away before sitting up.

“Did I do something wrong? Why’d you stop?” He looks at with sad eyes.

“You’re done.” You look down at his cock.

“No, no, I’m not. I promise I still have more. Just keep fucking me, let me eat your pussy or something! Don’t leave!” He pouts, watching you crawl towards him.

“As much as I’d like to keep playing with you, you’re all out of cum, pretty boy.” You smirk. “I’ve got other desperate virgins like you to attend to.” You ghost your lips over his and Choso leans in for a kiss but you pull back from him. “You’re welcome.”

You disappear into a dark corner in his room, like you faded away into it. He runs to turn on his light and sees you’re completely gone. He’s at a loss for words, standing in the middle of his room completely naked. He looks towards his bed, seeing the wet spots you had left. So it was real? No? Yes? He didn’t know what to believe. He accidentally summoned a sex demon to take his virginity. If only he could do it again.

[hyliagirl42]

Not to get all preachy here but i think this could stem from the really harmful media analysis we're taught in school, which often has us answer questions like "if you were the protagonist in this situation, what would you do?"

And something i read in a post elsewhere really stood out to me, in response to that question - what does it matter what *I* would do? And what I would do is entirely dependent on whether I only have the lived experiences and memories of the protagonist, or if I only havr my own, as the reader.

Because if i only had the protagonist's experiences and memories, I wouldn't know I'm a character in a book (or horror movie). I wouldn't know what genre I'm in. I wouldn't know that this camping trip in the woods with my friends is going to end with all of us dying. It's just a camping trip. And we're teenagers having fun, being silly, and how were we supposed to know the evil tome had a real genuine curse on it? If this is the case, asking what I would do doesnt matter, because my lived experiences speak to what choices I'm going to make, and as such none of the choices I make will be different.

But if I have only my own memories as the reader to make my decision with, that's also a useless question to ask. I know things as the reader that the character never could. Like I mentioned before, I know that this is the horror genre and people are going to die. So obviously I can sit back and think of all the perfect ways to win, the perfect flawless ways of surviving. But that wouldn't be very satisfying, narratively, would it? There's no plot without struggle and hardship. There's nothing satisfying about winning too easily. That's not the story the author wants to tell, especially in horror stories.

But all we're ever taught in school is "what did the character do wrong? How would you do it better?" Instead of the actually meaningful questions such as "what message was the author trying to convey? How can this message apply to your life? Is this message even aimed at you in the first place, or is it aimed at someone else? Did the author successfully convey their intended message?" Questions like that.

And that's doing us a disservice in all media, all across the board. For example, if a character does something you would never do, because it's a Bad Thing To Do, the character is problematic! Because I, an upstanding citizen, would never do that! Forget the fact that the character is still going through character development at this point. Forget that the character's background led them to make this decision, and they thought it was the right one at the time, when it wasn't. Forget that the author may be setting up events in the future or trying to teach a lesson or trying to show that someone who does such things is still a human being and can still be a sympathetic character even if they mess up...

Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now, this is just what this post made me think of. To go back to the original post, if you dont want to see a story about horror protagonists falling victim to circumstances out of their control, and would rather see a cute romance, go find yourself a cute romance to read instead. If you want to see protagonists making all the right decisions and overcoming all odds, go find a story about that instead. This is a horror movie. And in horror movies, people make stupid mistakes, because they don't know theyre in a horror movie. Go find something else to watch or read

people are so mean about horror movie victims like. sorry but if i had gone to a cabin in the woods with my friends as a teenager you couldn't have stopped us from reading aloud from the evil tome. how were they supposed to know the ancient curse was real they're like 17

[vigilskeep]

Do we know enough about how Crow succession and talonship works to believe it would be possible for Viago to take the seat of first talon either through some sort of non-violent coup in the absence of an heir to house Dellamorte or through marrying his kid (rook) off to Lucanis? Asking because I really don't know and would love to write something in that direction...and you seem a crow enthusiast...also love your blog

THEORETICALLY. yes.

we haven’t seen the talons shift directly, but they do shift, with regularity. house arainai was first talon in living memory and then fell slowly downwards to their current point where they’re struggling in and out of eight talon like a drowning man who keeps finding his way to air for just enough breath

the eight talons system, if you’ll allow me the tangent, is a really fascinating choice of fantasy hierarchy because it is such a clear hierarchy. among a bunch of ambitious killers whose prime goal is notoriety. you can only hold each position here if everyone below you is too afraid to do anything about it. what an anxiety trip it must be to decide whether to push someone down just one rung or to try to destroy them entirely; do you want to leave your rival with more opportunity or more motivation? but crow power is also all about theatre, all about perception—you are first or fifth or seventh talon primarily because everyone agrees that you are—so making a failed gambit for a higher talon has got to be incredibly damaging. which is a risky setup. it discourages attempts, but when someone does make an attempt, they will not be fucking around

anyway ignore all that we’re talking about soft takeovers today. okay so house dellamorte has a dying core family, theoretically. we’re making the assumption that no surviving young children from any branch of the family are mentioned because none exist. we have two heirs, neither very acceptable (my apologies to caterina’s delusions), both men in their 30s with (again, assumed) no children, and neither making much progress in that regard. (arguably dependent on player choice when it comes to lucanis, but since he can fall in love with and express his undying devotion to any kind of rook, we can at least say he’s not making that much effort.) within a generation the core family may die out. but that is a LONG TIME to wait. you still have to deal with the current ones, they’re pretty robust

lucanis is the current first talon as of the end of veilguard. can he be convinced to give this up and hand first talon over to someone better suited? i do believe it. mostly because i need to believe, for my mental health, that we can get him out of there. but he also now has a fairly bulky support system full of people who love him and will notice how bad this is going to be and convince him he deserves things like a life he doesn’t hate

as always your main problem is caterina. caterina is not going to allow a takeover, soft or otherwise, while she is still alive. caterina didn’t give up first talon when they murdered her children. there’s probably an emotional plot in here where she can be made to accept what she’s done to her family, far too late, but with time left to save just one by letting him go. on the other hand, i’ve also been experimenting with plots in my mind where she tries to quietly get rid of viago or romanced rook for having too much influence, with the added benefit on hopefully being able to steel & refocus lucanis on defending the house against whoever she frames. or plots where she blames lucanis trying to leave and not being the boy she remembers on his, you know, demonic possession, and attempts to forcibly remove or destroy spite. so. there’s potential ups and downs, here.

i don’t know how helpful rook de riva/lucanis is. most of your problem here is that everything that sets this ending up by giving the de rivas more power, and by giving any rook more power over lucanis, is something that in my mind would crank caterina’s wariness all the way up. house de riva surely has to move up from fifth already after the events of the game and look more like a contender, and i don’t think even caterina’s delusions about lucanis’ suitability for first talon could make her blind to the effect rook can obviously have. i definitely think she would delay on a marriage and have the power to do that

i think it’s worth saying that rook de riva at any point bringing up to lucanis the idea of handing things over to viago would be a hell of a conversation. i know lucanis never remotely suspects rook of any agenda and trusts them completely, and i know i agree with rook here, but you’ve GOT to see how “i love you and having power is bad for you and what you should do is hand it all over to my talon” sounds. i truly could not blame him for a bit of doubt here especially if caterina was around to suggest it

sorry this is a completely messy and disconnected response. i don’t even know if i had a point. you might have to wait for caterina to actually die? is that my point? i can see rook de riva/lucanis being helpful to ease a transition of power to house de riva then. i also think it’s worth pointing out that teia might be the better contender for all this out of the two lovebirds. what quietly makes teia probably the most dangerous talon in the crows, if she ever chose to be, is that everyone likes her. i’m not joking or trying to handwave crow politics, it’s a form of soft power and the result of her cultivated skill that nobody ever suspects teia of anything. even caterina treats her gently, and literally a talon who tried to murder all the others in tevinter nights was delaying murdering her because she was his favourite. if anyone can handle a gentler transition like what we’re talking about, maybe it’s more likely to be teia

[justmeinadaze]

Nothings Gonna Change My World (Steddie X You)(Serial Killers Universe)

Warnings: Experimentees Steddie & Y/N, In alternate Universe ( Serial Killers Steddie & Victim Stalked Fem Y/N), SMUT, roleplay (CNC I guess?), knife play (light, no cutting), sub/dom dynamics, bondage, degrading (whore, little girl, "you wanted this."), slapping, choking, hair pulling, semi public (in the woods), mentions of after care afterwards (of course).

ANGST (obviously), in the current universe Y/N is still struggling with her feelings of the last chapter, the doctor does find out the truth they've been hiding.

In the alternative universe, Steddie are killers, there's no details of them killing anyone but blood is mentioned, they do tie her to a chair and degrade her, they let her go to chase her, mentions of her feelings afraid and talking about the glimpses on instability in their eyes. Mentions of murders and the towns general fear. Readers alcoholism is mentioned. In this universe it's mentioned that the reader was in jail at one point.

Word Count: 5230

Series here/Donate

“Why didn’t you say anything?”, the doctor growls in frustration as he leans against his desk in front of you and the guys with his arms folded. 

“We were afraid of getting removed from the experiment.”, Steve answered as your head continued to hang. 

It had been a week since you saw Kallie in the other universe and the doctor had you three monitored on bed rest the entire time. You had nightmares of what happened, waking up screaming with either Eddie or Steve there to comfort you. 

You were mentally exhausted and the one person you wanted to talk to was no longer available in your current universe. 

“Why would you think that? If anything, I’m even more curious now.”, the doctor sighs. “You said you three have never met each other until the start of this?”

“Um, Steve and I went to school together but we never really spoke or spent time together. He was an asshole.”

At Eddie’s words, the other man’s lips pursed as his jaw clenched knowing it was true. 

“But not you, Y/N? You don’t know either of these men outside of here?”

“No, she didn’t.”, Steve answer for you when you didn’t respond. 

“Hm. I’d like to test something if you’re three up for it? Last week, the group went to a universe that frightened the bulk of our experimenters. In this particular universe, they mentioned the world being terrified over a couple of serial killers. I’d like you three to try it and see where you land.”

“Why?”, Eddie asks. 

“Because…some people mentioned broadcasts on the tv in the background whatever was happening while they were there. Suspects were two men…

“I still don’t understand why you want us to experience that if it was traumatizing for the others.”, Steve replied to the doctor.

“If you three run into each other in every universe…selfishly…I’m kind of curious how Y/N plays a part in a dynamic like that.”

“Well, fuck that. We aren’t you living dolls that you can fuck around with—”

“Technically Mr. Harrington, you are since you signed up for this experiment. Now, you don’t have to do this. I was just suggesting as a scientist—”

“I’ll do it.”, you interrupt causing all heads to turn your way. “When do we start?”

“Um, we can hook you up in 30min, if you’re sure—”

“I’m sure.”

And with that, you get up from your seat and exit the office. 

***

“Y/N, wait. Hang on, God damn it!”, Steve grunts in frustration as he runs after you and grabs your arm that you angrily pull away. “Why are you so eager to do this?”

“Because I want to feel something other than what I’m feeling right now.”

“So you want to feel like a victim?” At Eddie’s comment, you glare his way. “If we are what he believes in this universe and we always run into you in every universe than we’re most likely going to be trying to kill you if we haven’t already.”

“Hm, I can’t wait.”, you sass before the other boy tugs on your bicep. “Jesus Christ! You are not my father or my fucking boyfriend. Boyfriendsssss.”, you growl as you shove them way from you. “I don’t need you to take care of me or tell me what to fucking do. Now stay the hell away from me!”

“You’re so fucking stubborn you know that!”, Steve shouts as he fully lets you go. “Even in this universe you tell us that you love us but then pull shit like this! It’s fucking exhausting, Y/N!”

“Good! Then maybe you’ll fucking listen to me this time and stay away!”

***

As the nurse guides you into this new room, you can’t help but be a little intimidated at the new placement of the pods and machines in the middle of the room. 

Three vessels were placed in a circle with all of your heads facing in the same direction with a camera dangling from the ceiling above. Unlike previously, it seems the doctor was pulling out all the extra stops to gather as much information as he could with what he had available. 

With how they reacted before you were under the impression, you would be doing this session by yourself so when both men stomped in and sat in their respective places you were surprised. 

“Ok guys, everything is still the same. Four hours under and you can’t interact, just observe.”, the doctor relayed as he glanced over you nervously. “We’re monitoring your vitals so if it gets too intense and you react like last time—”

“This won’t be like last time.”, you interject before he nods at the nurses standing off to the side to take over.

“I love you, Y/N.”, Eddie mumbles as the three of you lay back in your pod. “I’m not sure if we’ve said it back to you but I do. I don’t know what’s going to happen when we go under but no matter what…in this universe, sweetheart…I love you.”

“I love you to.”, Steve adds. “Your right…we may not know much about you here but we do know that you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. We may not be the best men but…”

“We’re the best men for you.”, the metalhead finishes when he pauses.

“Yeah…”

Before you can reply, the nurses split up between you three to place the goggles over your head and administer your calming agent.

“Alright, sweetie, here we go. Dropping in, in 3, 2, 1…”

###############

“Everything’s going to be alright, babe. Fuck our father.”

You smile as your thumb grazes over your phone as you reread the text your sister sent. Today was supposed to be a big day for you. You had worked so hard to get the promotion at your firm but with one phone call from your dad it was all taken away. 

“Whisky. Neat.”

If it wasn’t for the incredibly strong smell of cologne you probably wouldn’t have even noticed the gorgeous man beside you as he absently dug into his suit pocket and threw some bills on the counter. 

When his eyes met yours, he smiled wide as your own eyes nervously looked away. 

“If I may, ma’am, you are extremely beautiful.”, he complimented making you blush as you ducked your head. “Oh, come on, honey, I don’t bite. What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”, you mumble shyly as you extend your hand that he promptly takes into his own. 

“Well, Y/N, it’s nice to meet you. May I ask why you’re sitting here all by yourself staring at a shot glass?”

“I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”

“Hm…and your boyfriend lets you drink alone on Friday nights?”

“I’m not…not drinking…just…” Again, your gaze shifts and this time he follows it as he takes a seat beside you. 

“Just what, Y/N?”, he asks softly but you detect a hint of annoyance.

“I had a bad day.”, you whisper. “My boss, Angelique Dyer—”

“Pfft, I know that bitch.”, the man sighs as he takes a sip of the drink he was given. “I’m sorry, baby, please continue.”

“She skipped over me for a promotion and I worked so hard for it to. I worked so many late nights and did everything she asked.”

“But…”

“She did a background check on me and called my father. I, um, I was in jail a few years ago. Not for long but…”

“For?”

You sighed knowing the information would most likely scare him away; it always did with people you met. Your boyfriend was the only person to ever really see you as you and not judge you for your past. 

“Y/N.”, the man coos softly as his thumb caresses your hand that you didn’t realize was still in his grasp. “You can tell me anything. It’s not my place to judge. I would know; I’m a lawyer.”

While you giggle at his joke, with his free hand he reaches into his pocket and hands you his card. 

Steven Harrington

“Steven…”, you grin making him softly smile back. 

“You can call me Steve.”

Blinking up at his kind features, you exhale your nerves as you tell him the truth. 

“I was arrested for public intoxication and assault. My sister and I were having a bit too much fun and she took away my keys so I wouldn’t drive. Her boyfriend got mad saying she was ‘babying’ me and grabbed her arm so…I punched him.”

“Sounds like a fucking asshole.”

“Yeah… Anyway, I had been in trouble before and my father wanted to teach me a lesson so…”, you shrug. 

“How did you get hired if that was on your record? I mean I would figure if it’s enough to not promote you than why bother right?”

“I, uh, I probably shouldn’t tell you.”, you giggle as you reach for the shot glass and bring it to your lips. 

Before you can taste anything however he places his large palm over the top and guides it away from your mouth. 

“You can tell me anything, pretty girl.”, he replies in a sultry voice that has you blushing again.

“My boyfriend works for IT and he’s so smart with computers but people never take him seriously. He, um, did a thing that hid my record.”

“I see.”, Steve retorts as his lips form into a thin line as he grabs the shot from your fingers and chugs it back. “My friend and I may be able to help you. He works at my firm with me doing research and stuff so he’s really good with technology himself. At most maybe we can help find you a loophole or something.”

Your eyebrows furrow as you finally gather your faculties enough to pull your hand from his grasp. 

“Why? Why would you want to help me?”

The lawyer’s head tilts to the side while his beautiful eyes glisten as they scan you over from head to toe. 

“Because nice, pretty girls like you deserve to be happy.”

Absorbing his words, your own irises take him in before fleeting to the tv above the bar behind him begging people to take extra caution while out especially at night. Another body had been found in the lake nearby in the same manner as the other victims believing it to be committed by the two serial killers at large. 

As your eyes meet his again, you can’t help but feel safe with this man you had just met. 

“Ok.”, you squeak eliciting an enormous grin to twitch across his face that would make the devil himself blush. 

“Good. My car is out back here. I couldn’t get a parking spot near the bar.”

After paying for your beverage, Steve takes your hand in his and you allow him to guide you down the street to a parking lot that seemed completely abandoned. 

“Steve, you should be careful parking in a lot like this. Someone could hurt you and no one would know.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

Before you could respond, arms roughly grabbed you from behind and covered your mouth as you were aggressively pulled into the backseat of his car. 

***

Your wide eyes watched Steve as he casually sauntered past you as if you weren’t even there. 

His friend, who had just spent the last thirty minutes dragging you into their house and bound you to the chair you were currently in, kept his intense chocolate eyes zeroed in on you. A small smirk painted on his lips while he absently twirled the handle of a knife against the counter. You noticed immediately that his clothes and parts of his hands were stained red frightening you even more as you pulled at your restraints. 

“How did it go?”

“Smooth. She was shocked to say the least but definitely didn’t see me comin’.”, the long-haired man answered. “She didn’t scream or make any noise. Hopefully this one is different.”

The wink he tossed your way made you shutter but you didn’t want them to think you were weak. You had fought so many people in your lifetime in every sense of the word and if tonight was your last night, you were going to go down swinging.

“Where is she now?”

“Trunk. I thought maybe after we could go to the lake on the opposite side of town. Kill two birds with one stone so to speak.”

Steve’s amber eyes flicked your way before shifting to the floor and nodding as he slid off his suit jacket, throwing it aside. 

“I genuinely am sorry for this, Y/N.”, he sighs as he walks towards you, bringing one of the table chairs with him, and placing it in front of you, crossing his legs as he rolls up his sleeves. “I know you had a bad day but you chose this.”

His friend behind him snickered when your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. 

“You were at that bar all alone even though there’s a killer out there.”

“KillerSSSS.”

“Dressed in that short skirt that shows off those beautiful legs practically begging to be touched.”, he sighed, licking his lips as he watched you squirm in your seat. “You said you had a boyfriend yet you engaged in conversation AND left with me. Were you even going to tell him you were with me? Did he even know you were there?”

Gradually leaning forward, Steve removed the tape from your mouth and waited for an answer. 

“You said you were going to help me… I-I trusted you.”

Blinking, his lips pouted out as his jaw clenched before tilting his head towards the other man and gesturing towards you.

“I don’t think I’ve introduced you to my friend here. This is Eddie.”

While being introduced, the metalhead casually stalks your way, giving you a small wave with his fingers before blindsiding you with a rough smack to your face.

“Every time you don’t answer one of my questions, Y/N, Eddie here is going to hurt you. Am I being clear? Say ‘Yes, Sir.’”

Taking too long for his liking, Steve curtly nods and the other man hits you again. 

“YES, SIR!”

The knife Eddie had been fiddling with clinks through the air as it lightly taps the chair and the sharpness of the end grazes your cheek threateningly. 

“This will go a lot smoother for everyone if you get rid of the attitude, sweetheart. Or, if you prefer, we can end it all right here right now.”, he whispers menacingly into your ear sending goosebumps down your spine. 

“Yes, Sir.”, you respond again with less force, seemingly satisfying them both. 

Steve leans forward, balancing his knees on his elbows while his friend smirks and positions himself behind you to play with your hair; the action oddly calming considering the circumstance. 

“Were you going to tell your boyfriend where you were going?”

“N-No, Sir.”

“Why?”

“He…he wouldn’t like it. M-M-Me—”

“Leaving a bar with another man. Hm. Most men wouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry.”, you murmur as your head hangs. 

“Are you?”, Steve asks causing your head to snap back up so your eyes could glare at him. “Even though you know it was wrong, you still left with me…still talked to me…still let me hold your hand. The entire time you’ve been tied to this chair, I’ve watched you rub your thighs together anytime me or my friend are near you. You like this don’t you?”

After a rough tug of your hair, you answer. 

“Y-Yes, Sir.”

The lawyer smirks as he slides to the floor, his dark, gorgeous eyes locked on yours as his palms grip your knees and opens your legs wide to reveal your silky panties under your skirt. 

“You like being a bad girl, don’t you, Y/N?”

This time, when you take too long to answer, Steve’s palm wraps around your throat and touches his nose to yours. 

“Don’t deny or try to hide it. I can fucking smell how wet you are. Answer my fucking question.”

You heard it in his tone; the desperation slipping out under the darkness. Now was your chance to try and get the upper hand.

“Is this what you need, Mr. Harrington? Is this how you get girls to submit? Fucking pathetic.” You’re barely able to let out your sarcastic laugh before Eddie yanks on your hair again and holds the knife to your throat just above his friend’s hand. 

“You show us fucking respect, little girl.”

“Respect for what?! The fact that you can’t get a woman in your house without taking her and tying her to a chair? You’re weak!”

The annoyance in his eyes change to amused as he rises to his feet and pushes Eddie to the side as he takes the knife to free you from your binds. 

“You’re absolutely right, honey, and quite frankly, my friend and I DO enjoy the chase. It’s been a while since a woman didn’t just willingly succumb to my charms.”

“Ok, calm down, Steven.”, Eddie teases as he grabs your bicep and aggressively lifts you from your chair, shoving you away from them. 

“We’ll give you a thirty second head start. The front door behind us is locked and we aren’t opening it. You could hide in the house and call for help but you don’t have a phone and we don’t have a landline so I don’t see how much helpful that would be. Out back there past the forest is a couple of our neighbors but the closest one is about a three-mile walk so you’d have be quick.”

“A-Are you serious?”, you ask as you begin to slowly back away from them. 

“If you succeed in escaping, then I promise we’ll leave you be. If we catch you…”

“You’re ours.”, the metalhead grins wide displaying all of his teeth. “Better run fast.”

Tilting his watch, Steve’s eyes never leave the gold around his wrist. 

“Go.”

Your terrified eyes flick between them trying to figure out if this is a trick but you barely have time to think as Eddie stomps his boot forward as if he’s about to give chase causing you to run out the back door past the pool and into the woods. 

After exactly thirty seconds, Steve taps his friend’s shoulder causing him to sprint towards the direction they saw you disappear in while the man himself slowly followed behind. 

***

You figured if you were going to survive this, the woods would be your best bet. An open space that you could run around should they stumble upon you as well as being able to hide behind a tree with the darkness of night to cloak you. 

You half expected them to taunt you in some way, calling your name or mocking you. A part of you hoped for it so you knew exactly where they were. Every little sound caused you to jump and hide before realizing it was your own shoes. 

“Not fast enough, princess.”, Eddie singed, suddenly appearing beside you and wrapping his strong arms around you. 

“Let me go!”, you shout as try to elbow him in the stomach to no avail. 

“Didn’t get very far, did you?”, he growled as his grip never faltered. “We could have done this inside but you wanted to do this the hard way.”

As he held you to him, your body folded into his and you could feel the large bulge in his jeans pressing against your ass. 

“You feel that, sweetheart? My cock is so hard just from hunting for you. I kept thinking about what we were going to do after we caught you.” With one arm firmly holding you in place, he utilized his other to lift your skirt and sloppily pull down your panties just enough to spank your behind before sliding his long, thick fingers into your pussy. “Fuck, baby, you were thinking about it to, weren’t you, dirty girl?”

You couldn’t help the small moan that escaped your lips as he pumped his digits deep inside of you hitting that spongy spot inside of you no one else had reached. 

“I told you, honey, you like this.”, Steve chuckled as he appeared out of the dark and sauntered towards you. “You like being a bad girl and being used by us.”

“Fuck, Steve, I can’t wait any longer.”, Eddie whined as you listened to him fumble with his belt. “Bend. I said fucking bend!”, he scolded as his palm pushed on your upper back, bending you in half. He wasn’t gentle by any means as he guided himself inside you, bottoming out quickly and eliciting a loud gasp as he stretched you out. 

“Say it.”, the lawyer commanded calmly as he watched your face contort in pleasure while his friend thrust his hips at a vigorous pace. “You know what I want to hear.”

“I…I’m a bad girl…fuck…”

Ring laced fingers took hold of your shirt, tearing it enough to expose your bra before Eddie moved it to grasp your breast and pull your hair with his other hand. 

“And?”

“I…please…”

Folding over you, the long-haired man’s breath warmed your ear as he growled, “You want to cum, you answer him.”

“I like being used by you!”, you rushed out verbally. “Please, Sir. Pleeeeease.”

Panting against your shoulder, Eddie pumped and rolled his hips till you felt the ball drop in your belly. Hastily covering your mouth to muffle your screams, he chased his high till he grunted and pounded his release into your cunt. 

“That’s it, you little whore. You take my cum and say thank you.”

“T-Thank…Thank you—nah!”, you whimper as he pulls out and pushes you to the dirt. 

Steve sinks to his knees and you immediately sit up but before you can adjust yourself, his stern eyes give you pause.

“Come here.”, he beckons. Doing as he commands, you place yourself in front of him looking up at him with those big, innocent eyes he loves. “Take my cock out.”

Without breaking eye contact, you reach forward and undo his belt, relishing in the slight increase of his breathing when your hand takes hold of his length to remove it from its confinement. 

“That’s it. Keep your eyes on me while you stroke it.” Utilize the beads of precum leaking from his slit, you ran your palm up and down as he licked his lips followed by a pleasure filled sigh. “Tell me you want me.”, he whispered, almost sounding vulnerable as you felt your heart break. 

“I want you.”, you murmur as your hand moves at a faster pace. 

The look in his eyes shifted like it had before to that desperation that seemed more frightening than the darkness that had been on display. Placing his palms beside you, he walked you back till you were pressed against the dirt with him hovering over you. 

“You want me? Put my cock inside that tight little pussy.” Steve’s tone was now rough, no longer carrying the light but sinister charm he showed you before. “I’m tired of fucking repeating myself, little girl. If you want to make it through tonight you better fucking listen.”

To emphasis his point, Eddie balanced on his heels beside your head and ran the dull side of the blade along your chest. 

The lawyer’s eye lids fluttered when you guided him inside you, your hips slightly rolling to take him as far as you could. Pinning your wrists above your head, he took over and delivered a hard thrust that punched the air from your lungs. 

“Ah!”, you moan, biting your lip when he does it again. “Fuck.”

“You love the way my dick feels, don’t you?”

“Mmm—Yes, Sir.”

“You love being fucked like this don’t you, dirty girl?”

“Na—ah! Yes!”, you whimper as he slams into you again, now finding a steady rhythm as his cock repeatedly and violently hits your g-spot. 

“I’ll send you back to your fucking boyfriend throbbing and sore. Shit. Fucking filled to the brim with our cum leaking out of you.”

 One of Steve’s massive hands released you to squeeze your breast and as his open mouth hovered above yours you couldn’t help but kiss them. Panting, his forehead fell against your neck as he held your lower back closer to him, thrusting into you deeply as he searched for your highs. 

Yours hit you like a freight train as your back arched and like his friend he covered your mouth to muffle the loud scream that rippled through you. Collapsing on top of you, the man pumped his length into you with rough abandon till you felt his rhythm falter and he exhaled a strained grunt as he coated your walls with his release. 

After a few moments, your giggle filled his ears and Steve pushed up on his elbows to look down at your smiling, blissed out features. 

“What are you laughin’ at?”, he asks in a more lighthearted tone. 

“You.”, you beam as you poke his nose with your index. 

“Are you ok, sweetheart?”, Eddie asks as his fingers pet your hair from his place above you as he looks down at you with concerned eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m ok, baby.”

“Good.”, he grins as his friend gradually pulls out and rises to his feet while the metalhead helps you to yours. Taking in your demeanor, he gently pulls up your panties and places his jacket around your shoulders. “You did really good, pretty girl.”

“How far did I get?”

“Um, in thirty seconds? A few yards.”, Steve guess as he gestures towards the house where you can vaguely see the lights still illuminating from the windows. “To be fair, I think with the adrenaline of the night and everything, Eddie practically flew after you so…”

The three of you laugh as the long-haired boy lifts you into his arms and carries you the rest of the way to your shared home. 

***

After a long bath and some good careful aftercare, you watch the men you love with smitten eyes even as they push your boss’s body off the boat and into the water below. 

“Done and done. You said a lot of people saw her at the bar, right?”

“Yeah, they did and definitely the bartender which speaking of.” Steve pauses as both men turn to face you. “Why did you have a shot in front of you when I got there?”

Blinking, you shrug as you take a seat on the edge of the bow with Eddie sitting beside you as he wraps his arm around you 

“Y/N, honey, you promised me the day I took on your case that you were never going to drink again and remain sober.”

“I know. I know, Steve. I swear I didn’t drink anything either.”

“You were about to—”

“Today was rough.”

“That’s no excuse—”

“Steven, get off her back, yeah?”, the metalhead cut in before resting his chin on your shoulder. “I feel like this is partially my fault. I should have expected them to upgrade their system after I hacked in there the last time. I’m sorry, baby.”

“No, no.”, you reply as you turn to cup his cheeks. “None of this is your fault. Either of yours… I appreciate you trying and doing all this for me.”, you gesture absently around you. “I know you both like to take your time when it comes to the people you kill.”

“Yeah but this was for you, sweetheart. Everything’s easy with you.���, Eddie murmurs as he kisses your cheek. “If you wanted us to take care of your dad we would.”

“No…plus that would be too risky. You guys could get caught or Kallie could get in trouble since she works for him.” Your gaze shifts from his to Steve’s whose eyes are scanning you over intensely. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you three.”

Kneeling in front of you, the lawyer takes your hands in his and kisses the back of them. 

“Nothing’s ever going to happen to us, honey, I promise.”

Tilting down, you take hold of his chin and kiss his lips before doing the same with Eddie. 

“I want you. I want you so bad.”, the metalhead lightly sings making you and his friend laugh as the memory of the night you were first intimate with them while that song played in the background flashed through your head. 

“I want you so bad, it’s driving me mad. It’s driving me…”, you sing back as your forehead presses to his, continuing to giggle as he pretends to play the guitar. 

Extending his hand towards you, you take it and allow Steve to lead you inside the boat with Eddie close behind as you gasp at the table set with roses, candles, and your favorite meal. 

“We know that playing the way we do helps clear your mind after a bad day but we also wanted to show you how much we appreciate and love you like normal men do.”

“Mr. Harrington, when have we ever been normal?”, you tease.

The three of you smile as Eddie lifts you off your feet, wrapping his arms around you to guide you to a chair so you could eat.

#####################

“There we are, sweetie. Please don’t run off.”, the nurse coos, slightly surprised when you do what she asks. “How are you feeling?”

You don’t know why but you suddenly feel the need to laugh.

Your cackle ripples through you and after a few seconds it’s followed by both boy’s deep chuckles as well. 

“Huh. Fascinating.”, the doctor muses as he watches the display. “What happened?”

“Can we talk about it later?”

Without even waiting for an answer, you remove all the devices attached to you and head down the hallway to your room where both men trail after. 

“You protect me…in every universe…and that scares me but…”, you pause as your eyes shift through the air searching for the right words. “I just realized that you both put so much faith in me…even after everything you went through. Even in that universe I felt how that Steve needed to feel wanted because of everyone that abandoned him and how that Eddie desperately needed to feel in control especially with death because of the people you lost.

I think the reason you do that so willingly is because in every universe, you have each other. You…help make my life better…you make me happy. It’s been so long since I’ve been happy…even before Kallie died.”

“What are you trying to say, sweetheart?”

Silently, you stride Eddie’s way, cupping his cheeks as you jump into his arms and passionately kiss his lips. His limbs circle tightly around you as he lifts you off your feet for a brief moment before placing you back down. 

“I’m saying I want to try being more open with you two if you’ll let me.”

The metalhead lets you go and Steve lifts you up again, wrapping your legs around his waist as he softly kisses you. 

“Of course. We can take things slow, baby.”

You allow him to carry you to the bed behind you where both men lay on either side of you, tenderly kissing any part of your body they can reach as your arms and legs tangle together. 

################

@baileebear @jasminelafleur @twirls827 @dashingdeb16 @myherometalhead @starboygf @alba8688 @crybabyddl @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @utterlyinsanity @hardladyheart @yesimabratandwhataboutot @chelebelletx @season4steve @fic-lover-29 @micheledawn1975 @dreamerjj @cherryc1nnam0n

[amermaidsecretdiary]

I'M QUITTING + MY VOID STATE SUCCESS STORY

Hello guys, it's been a long time since i have posted something or in general be active here which was mostly because of personal reasons (just focusing on myself), although one of them had to do with our community.

I personally joined loatumblr at the middle of 2022 (from a previous anonymous account i had) but i started posting much later. Back then, the community was at it's peak ngl. The bloggers and the way they explained stuff was honestly, at least for me, so helpful and enjoyable. After the end of 2023 - beginning of 2024 this community started dying. I really didn't like this since I loved scrolling through specific blogs and reading their posts. I tried to post some stuff to give a little bit of life in there and i guess it did help a little.

Quick note; Please don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that the current posts and blogs running right now suck.. what i'm saying is that this community used to be way more alive back then.

One of the reasons why this happened is because people applied and got what they wanted. So they logged off tumblr. When I realised that, I decided to seriously focus on loa and start applying myself. And i ended up manifesting some good stuff, and I was good with it. Although, after some time, i decided that i wanted to manifest a completely new life from scratch, which it was what i wanted to do from the first time i joined tumblr but i ditched that thought and ended up changing some stuff about my current life.

My goal back then was to enter the void state (which im pretty sure it was 95% of the people in here goal too), but i didn't understand it properly so i couldn't 'enter'. I ended up ditching it and manifested without it. But after some point, i did my research and fully understood the void state or better, pure consciousness. If you go through my blog, you won't see much stuff about pure consciousness because i choose to not talk about it in here. The way it is treated it loatumblr just pisses me off. If you post a void success story, people will immediately run to you and ask you basic stuff like 'how did u do it?' when all the information needed about it is already posted. People tend to see it as something 'huge' and believe they can't succeed in it which is bs. If you do a little bit of research on pure consciousness you will understand how simple it is. Although, even if the 'void state' is seem like something that people overcomplete this doesn't mean that you can not use it. What i'm saying is that there are some people who really dislike the concept of it and will recommend u not to try it. Look, everyone has their different opinions and beliefs but if you want to manifest your dream life in the void state, go ahead. After all, it found you for a reason.

So coming back to my experience, since it was always my 'dream' to manifest my dream life in the void state, i decided to do it now. I'm pretty good at lucid dreaming (i've been lucid dreaming 3 years now) i decided to tap into my pure consciousness during a lucid dream. So i did my usual routine, had a lucid dream in which i closed my eyes and found myself floating in a void. I affirmed that i have lucid dreams everynight and then i got out. I did this 4 days ago, and i have had around 3-4 lucid dreams every single night, without doing any practise at all. Also, i have been scripting my entire dream life and i'm preparing myself to finally experience it. I have decided to make a looottt of big changes but two of them are the 'biggest' for me; numb.1 i will manifest that i will completely forget about my current life (i will also not remember anything about the law, for personal reasons) and numb.2 i will go back in time around 30 years ago (again for personal reasons). I mentioned this to make it clear to you that i won't be able to post my 'success story' after manifesting it, since i will not remember anything about me manifesting stuff and also even if i did, i wouldn't be able to post it since i will not have access to tumblr or current technology in general. So my success story is this one. This days, when i find the right time for me, i will have a lucid dream as usual and tap into my pure consciousness again which from there, i will finally manifest the life of my dreams. So that's my final post you will see from me. I hope you all never give up and get what you want because trust me it's worth it and all this found u for a reason. If you really want it and you stay consistent, then it's all yours. My words can not describe the way i feel right now, knowing that i have my dream life right in front of me and i can just grab it and give it to myself anytime, after this big journey. Goodbye everyone :)

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[m0e-ru]

lets think of everyone who had persona blogs and obliterated them off the face of the earth instead of just archiving and keep them in our thoughts tonight. everyone else who directly caused them into doing that go and fucking behave

[wiseatom]

can i just like. say something.

i think this community can be really fun at times! i also think it can be toxic! that said, a lot of — not all, but a lot — the toxicity comes from people actively opening themselves up to harmful situations.

the cool thing about online spaces is that you have so much control in curating them! you can block someone whose opinions or posts you don’t agree with without ever having to interact with them. you can ignore or delete hateful anonymous messages, or even disable the feature entirely. you can privately message someone if you want to talk to them without an audience watching the entire thing.

the point of this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t engage in discourse, that being petty and dramatic isn’t fun, that responding to anon hate with a one-liner isn’t funny and cool. the point is to say that i think it’s kind of silly to complain about drama and negativity and hate when you also invite 300,000+ people to say some nasty shit to you with zero consequences on their end but a whole lot of satisfaction out of the reaction they get from you.

this isn’t directed at any one person in particular, and it’s not an attack. it’s simply a gentle reminder that you literally have the power to make this space a positive one. please stop letting strangers on the internet take that away from you.

[dismalzelenka]

.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Is it so bad that I don't really like ships of characters I simp and I only like the reader insert fics with them?

Yeah I can't deny I'm jealous of the canon x canon ships with my faves, knowing that they possibly can be together while I can't. I know it's dumb,so that's why I never hate on someone who likes those ships I just ignore it

Like Sefikura for example, I don't like it cuz I'm a massive hoe for Sephiroth,also bcuz sometimes they make the ship pretty icky,also bcuz Cloud is baby and I'm still angy at Sephy for mentally torturing my Babyboy like that

IT'S CHAOS WITH MY FICTIONAL FAVES!!!!!!

Nothing wrong with that, personally! I get wanting to indulge in the warmth of a good fantasy-- That is what alot of fiction is for, after all.

Bless you, anon. Alas, as someone also plagued with my own Dumb and Horrid Fictional Feelings, the brain can be such a little bitch when it comes to that stuff. Good on you for recognising how and why you feel that way, ignoring the stuff you don't like and focusing on what you do.

LMAO I get that completely. I should mention, though, that I am one of those people who indulges in the nastier side of the ship, lmaooo. Even so, I get why it wouldn't click with you.

(FR when is it not?)

[mogai-sunflowers]

Am I the only one who really hated the year where the "nobody asked thing" happened a ton? It was used against me a lot whenever I overshared and as an autistic person I have trouble regulating that so I just stopped talking at all.

YEAH IT'S SO RUDE AND FOR NO FUCKING REASON??????????????? one time someone said that exact thing to me and i had a panic attack and felt so horrible but now looking back on it....... yes! yes you DID ask!!! because you made a public post with an opinion and gave absolutely no instruction as to who you wanted to respond! this is on YOU! /nay anon

[senxitive]

Does anyone want to explain to me why I can't feel anything

[homophyte]

was just subjected to a self righteous post about how we need to learn to respect second generation atheists (important context: i am one) and how their existence begs the question of if atheism is always in reaction to something or if it can be an independently held position. which then followed it up with a 'summary of responses to this post' that included, peppered among things second generation atheists said or remarks about never hearing about this before, extremely reactionary positions about the necessity of religion in life all couched in the language of simple 'concern' for these atheists upbringing. like omg yesss your post is soooo important we really need to interrogate this group that is persecuted by literally every large religious organization on the planet about if their way of life is legitimate! its sooooooo crucial we open doors to religious mandates. its imperative that we teach them about religion, a thing they are so cruelly denied, but dont worry guys, for some of them, its not their fault! we can help them! by making them religious i mean teaching them about religion! remember that some jewish people are atheists too <3

[novella-november]

Novella November 2024 Announcement Post

Hate AI, but love writing challenges?

Want to take part in a global, fun project to write a Novella in one month?

Grab some friends, and take part in Novella November, by writing 1,000 words a day for the month of November, ending with a 30,000 word Novella to test and stretch your novel-writing skills!

Your goal is not perfection, but merely getting into the habit of writing a litte bit every single day :D

No website, no sign-ups -- Just a community initiative to write using only your own word!

What are the rules? Just Three so far!

#1 - No AI

#2 - No Plagiarizing

#3 - Wordcount for the month should only come from what you write during the month.

What does that mean?

Only words written during November should go towards your Wordcount for the month... but! Feel free to use your 30k words as a continuation of previous writing, or just make it the first 30k words in a longer novel!

Don't think you can write a whole entire 30k word story? Write a series of short stories that total up to 30k!

Not ready to write original works yet? Write a 30k word fanfiction that you can post after the month is over!

Share your writing experience, tips, encouragement, and questions in the #Novella November tag!

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EDIT, from the tags: Want a progress tracker? Track your progress with TrackBear!

https://trackbear.app/

Don't have a word processor? Use LibreOffice , the free and open-source alternative to Microsoft Word!

Want to organize/storyboard your Novel and don't want to pay a subscription? Try 7writer by Simon Haynes!

Want to be able to listen to your story aloud for proofreading using TTS (text to speech)? Try Balabolka!

Or, create some custom progress / Goal Cards in advance you can fill out as you reach word goals! For ideas and templates, search this blog for "goal cards" :D

Want to do a writing challenge in more than just November? Check out my ideas here for year round challenges to keep you writing consistently! Got feedback? Send it in, I'd love to see everyone's ideas!

---

EDIT 2: I almost forgot to mention, if you are unable to write/type your story, you can also narrate/dictate your story to your preferred recording device!

If you're doing a Recording only and it doesn't automatically generate a transcript, it would obviously be hard to judge the word count -- but you're also working with a lot of obstacles, so I'd say if you're able to complete your story via voice recording from start to finish, you've definitely achieved the goal!

Edit #3: added the title "Novella November 2024 announcement post" to the top to make it more standard with my Ominous October and Drabble December posts (will be updating Outline October shortly) , added "Official Announcement Post 2024" to the tags so people can easily find the monthly events for 2024, and added a bit of bold to the third bullet point in the original post from September 2nd 2024 for emphasis.

[libraford]

The word 'rural' is in the public consciousness again and every time people start going in about the 'rural values' 'rural way of life' I remember just how subjective that word is.

I have a friend that lives in LA. He considers Columbus, OH to be 'rural.' A population of over 900k. Thriving arts community, tons of culture festivals, every kind of restaurant you can think of, one of the most annoying college campuses ever, several smaller colleges, lots of queer spaces, comic book conventions, huge concerts... rural.

The town I live in considers itself 'rural.' 38k population. Arts festival every year, a small pride celebration, monthly gallery hop, big Halloween festival. Five ice cream shops, three coffee shops, a couple fancy bars, so many grocery stores. Huge library, conservation and sustainability advocates, queer spaces, a hospital, one private college. Rural.

The town we nearly annexed, but lost the deal considers us 'urban' compared to them. Less than 5k. They have a limited hospital, often send their surgeries here. Downtown has hardware store, bars, craft supply store, a couple grocery stores, pizza places. There's some farmland, but much of the square acreage is golf. Mega churches. The houses here are 500k. Most people drive ATVs. They have a handful of festivals in the summer.

A town I would often get sent to to cover their high school sports- a little over 2k. There's a Subway, a Domino's, Family Dollar. Some bars, some corner stores. Some local crafts. All the students grow up knowing each other, most of them stay there. But they have craft fairs and art galleries, still.

Less rural still than the town I go through to get there, population of around 600. Houses, farmland, post office, general store.

Who would still look down upon the town of about 400 that I would go to sometimes- post office. Gas station. Bar. The school is the only big thing there.

And yet still, I have seen towns with population in the double digits that have a church and a post office.

Even just looking at the numbers doesn't lend accuracy to what 'rural' actually looks like. Because this is what it looks like in ohio, but it's different in West Virginia- where your closest neighbor might be a mile down a hill. Or in Montana, where your town might be planned very tightly and your neighbors are very close, but the nearest grocery store is an hour and a half away. These are places I've been, friends that I've talked to. I've never been to Missouri or Alabama or Louisiana- I'm sure they have a unique experience of being 'rural.'

So my point is that when people talk about 'the rural experience' or 'rural values,' they are talking about millions of people across the entire country who all have lived unique lives- and who may not even agree on what 'rural' is.

Think about who is talking, and who is being talked over, and who isn't even being asked to join the conversation.

[catboybiologist]

“As a biologist, the terms biological woman and man don’t make any sense to me” okay then you’re an idiot and a terrible biologist. I swear to god, morons like you only become biologists just so you can hold it over others, when in reality, if biology deniers like you can become biologists, then being one really doesn’t mean much anyway. But this probably just gave an autogynophile like you a boner to read, anyway.

Oh fun! Haven't gotten one of these in a while. Disregarding the fact that you somehow think the qualification for being a biologist entirely hinges on defining womanhood, I do need to ask some clarification. I know I'm feeding the trolls here, but here we go: does your definition of "biological woman" mean:

Sociological woman? Eh, context dependent, I'm not fully out of the closet, but oftentimes, I am and present femme. So let's call that one 50/50.

Psychological woman? Because I am one.

Neurological woman? Because I am one [1].

Physical woman? My soft tissue redistribution is handling that well.

Hormonal woman? My blood tests are within cis female ranges.

Transcriptional woman? As a signalling molecule, the downstream effects of estrogen have broad transcriptional effects, completely changing the profile of gene expression and functional genomics of my cells. [2]

Genetic woman? I mean, see my above point- as far as my genes that are actually active, I have all of the same transcripts being produced, controlling which genes are expressed.

Karyotypic woman? I actually have a few signs pre-HRT that might point to a non-XY chromosome pair, but I haven't had a karyotype. We'll put that down as unknown. And hell, even if its XY, there's plenty of cis women who are karyotypically XY, with suppressed sry or complete androgen insensitivity. Interestingly enough, a completely androgen insesitive woman can go her whole life without knowing- and functionally, is very similar to a trans woman, actually. Fancy that. [3]

Reproductive woman? I can't produce an egg cell, but neither can significant fractions of cis women. Also, this is all gonna change soon, which is fun. [4]

There's also a lot of understudied aspects to the biology of HRT and even pre-HRT that are emerging, largely demonstrating widespread cellular and genetic remodeling of trans individuals undergoing hormone therapy. The field is a bit behind due to constant political pressure to revoke funding, but a lot of the results are extremely exciting in both testosterone and estrogen hormone therapies. I'm sure that, as a self professed biology As someone who presumably has a lot of expertise in biology, I'm assuming that you're aware of all of this cutting edge research, and are keeping up with modern papers, including but not limited to these cool findings:

Trans men on HRT exhibit significant genetic and transcriptional changes that make them biochemically male. [5][6]. It's a good hypothesis that the same happens with estrogen treatment, but those studies don't exist yet- I'm sure you're reserving judgment until more publications exist, of course.

Trans men on HRT develop male cell types and tissues. [7]

Trans women experience muscular and blood cell changes that align with cis women moreso than cis men [8]

And many, many more! This is an exciting, underserved, and groundbreaking field of research, and I'm sure you're keeping up with the latest in scientific journals about it.

I'm sure, of course, that you understand that it becomes impossible to draw a distinct line anywhere in here, and that words like "woman" are shorthand for the myriad of traits that invisibly synthesize in our mind and in society to represent a concept? I'm sure you understand that science is fundamentally descriptive, not prescriptive? I'm sure that you understand that these findings, while really cool and interesting, actually don't mean jack shit about what the word "woman" means or not?

As someone who is the ultimate decider in what a biologist is, I'm sure you know that bioessentiallism is a childish mindset that completely ignores and disregards the constantly changing, dynamic nature of biological systems, something that extends well beyond biological sex and its relation to gender.

I'm sure that also, that you understand that beyond just this, that the role of science in society is to advise how to achieve our moral principles, not create moral principles in themselves. And I'm sure that understanding means you know that trans affirming healthcare and supportive societal treatment leads to reduced mortality and increased happiness for everyone, right?

So great to talk to someone who is surely a scientist on this. You are a biologist, if you're talking like this, I assume? I assume you're not going to spit complete misreadings of scientific language from the background sections of these papers that only reveal you've never read a scientific paper in your life if you're thinking this way? I assume you have experience interpreting data like this?

Also, imagining my genitalia while writing this? Ew. Please stop projecting your fetishes into my inbox.

Works cited:

Kurth F, Gaser C, Sánchez FJ, Luders E. Brain Sex in Transgender Women Is Shifted towards Gender Identity. J Clin Med. 2022 Mar 13;11(6):1582. doi: 10.3390/jcm11061582. PMID: 35329908; PMCID: PMC8955456.

Fuentes N, Silveyra P. Estrogen receptor signaling mechanisms. Adv Protein Chem Struct Biol. 2019;116:135-170. doi: 10.1016/bs.apcsb.2019.01.001. Epub 2019 Feb 4. PMID: 31036290; PMCID: PMC6533072.

Gottlieb B, Trifiro MA. Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. 1999 Mar 24 [Updated 2017 May 11]. In: Adam MP, Feldman J, Mirzaa GM, et al., editors. GeneReviews® [Internet]. Seattle (WA): University of Washington, Seattle; 1993-2024. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK1429/

Murakami, K., Hamazaki, N., Hamada, N. et al. Generation of functional oocytes from male mice in vitro. Nature 615, 900–906 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-023-05834-x

Pallotti F, Senofonte G, Konstantinidou F, Di Chiano S, Faja F, Rizzo F, Cargnelutti F, Krausz C, Paoli D, Lenzi A, Stuppia L, Gatta V, Lombardo F. Epigenetic Effects of Gender-Affirming Hormone Treatment: A Pilot Study of the ESR2 Promoter's Methylation in AFAB People. Biomedicines. 2022 Feb 16;10(2):459. doi: 10.3390/biomedicines10020459. PMID: 35203670; PMCID: PMC8962414.

Florian Raths, Mehran Karimzadeh, Nathan Ing, Andrew Martinez, Yoona Yang, Ying Qu, Tian-Yu Lee, Brianna Mulligan, Suzanne Devkota, Wayne T. Tilley, Theresa E. Hickey, Bo Wang, Armando E. Giuliano, Shikha Bose, Hani Goodarzi, Edward C. Ray, Xiaojiang Cui, Simon R.V. Knott, The molecular consequences of androgen activity in the human breast, Cell Genomics, Volume 3, Issue 3, 2023, 100272, ISSN 2666-979X, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.xgen.2023.100272. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666979X23000320)

Xu R, Diamond DA, Borer JG, Estrada C, Yu R, Anderson WJ, Vargas SO. Prostatic metaplasia of the vagina in transmasculine individuals. World J Urol. 2022 Mar;40(3):849-855. doi: 10.1007/s00345-021-03907-y. Epub 2022 Jan 16. PMID: 35034167.

Harper J, O'Donnell E, Sorouri Khorashad B, McDermott H, Witcomb GL. How does hormone transition in transgender women change body composition, muscle strength and haemoglobin? Systematic review with a focus on the implications for sport participation. Br J Sports Med. 2021 Aug;55(15):865-872. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2020-103106. Epub 2021 Mar 1. PMID: 33648944; PMCID: PMC8311086.