#some of you people sound like the chick who thinks the catholic church made up the roman empire | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

queenlua · 4 years ago

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You're a druid and an ex-evangelical, right? What does being a druid mean to you? How did you get from evangelicalism to where you are now? And of course feel free to ignore this if it's nosy. (sincerely, a Christian who wants to leave but who doesn't know what to do)

this is going to make me sound ignorant as hell, lol, but i'm happy to share

under a cut because this got very long, sorry, lol.

my personal progression was: "vaguely christian -> VERY christian -> christian agnostic -> agnostic/atheist -> agnostic/druid -> some sorta druid-neopagan-animist thing." i guess i'll just go through what made me switch between each of those, and close out with some high-level thoughts that may be helpful for you?

okay, so when i was

VAGUELY CHRISTIAN,

i went to Sunday school every week because That's What You Do, and because my whole hometown was very southern Baptist, i never questioned the veracity of its teachings much... until they ran a whole weekly series on "why [x] is wrong," where [x] is some other group

e.g., we had a week on why Mormons are wrong, and i didn't bat an eye because i hadn't even known Mormons existed until that moment

then we had a week on why Muslims are wrong, and that... bothered me, because i had a friend who was Muslim, and she was just objectively a better person than me, and i was like "any universe where she goes to hell and i don't seems really fucked up"

then we had a week on why EVOLUTION was wrong, and that just absolutely threw me, because while i hadn't thought about evolution much (i think i was in fourth grade or so), it seemed common-sense? scientists thought highly of it? "adaptation over time" just seems logical?

so i went to the public library every day after school for like a week, read some Darwin and some science books, and came back to my Sunday school teacher with, like, an itemized list of objections to the whole "evolution is wrong" thing. and he came up with some standard Answers In Genesis rebuttals, and i did more research and came back the next week with more science, and we repeated this a few times until he was like "lua, you just gotta take some things on faith"

which. lmao. full existential crisis time, because no matter how hard i thought, i couldn't *not* believe in the science, but i also didn't want to go to hell, so i was like "maybe if i believe SUPER HARD i will SOMEDAY be able to unbelieve the condemn-me-to-hell bits"

so i decided to become

VERY CHRISTIAN

and my frantic googling for shit like "proof of god" and "god and evolution" *eventually* broke me out of the Answers In Genesis circles of the internet, and into some decent Christian apologia, like, think First Things and various Catholic bloggers. and there, i found some way to square my gut sense that evolution was right, with a spiritual worldview.

like, i remember finding some blogger who said:

"young earth creationists get tripped up when they try to explain stars that are millions of light-years away, and end up basically arguing that God's tricking us somehow, and—no! my God lets you believe in the evidence of your eyes, my God does not demand that you make yourself ignorant or stupid, my God expects you to use your brain"

and i just started crying at my computer, because no one had ever said "using your brain is Good and part of God's will," i was like *finally* here's someone who won't tell me i'm going to hell for just *thinking* about things

(st. augustine does a much better riff on a similar theme, fwiw, but i only found him later)

still, it was an uneasy fit, because, the more i learned and read about world history, the more it seemed... weird... that the One And Singular Path To Salvation was... the successor to some niche desert cult... which didn't even occur at the *beginning* of written history, like, it was all predated by that whole Mithraism thing, etc... and like, sure, i could trot out all the standard theological talking points for why Actually This Makes Perfect Sense, but gut-level-wise, the aesthetics just seemed kinda dumb! and no level of talking myself out of it made that feeling go away!

so at this point i started referring to myself as a

CHRISTIAN AGNOSTIC

i mean, not aloud. i still lived in southernbaptistopia and i didn't want, like, my hair stylist to tell me i was a horrible person. but in my *head* i called myself Christian agnostic and it felt right.

and i started church-hopping, which honestly was really fun, would recommend to anyone at any point. i visited the fire-and-brimstone baptist church, the methodist church, the episcopalians, the universal unitarians, etc.

unfortunately, while this gave me *some* new perspectives, each of the places either had the same shitty theology as my old megachurch (i remember the *acute* sense of despair i felt when i was starting to jive with a methodist church... only for the dumbass youth minister to start going on about evolution), or, they just lacked any sense of the *sacred*. like, the Church of Christ churches, with their a capella services, *definitely* had it; i felt more God there in one service than i did in a lifetime of shitty Christian rock at the megachurch. but their beliefs were even *more* batshit, so. big L on that one.

having failed to find a satisfactory church, i was basically

AGNOSTIC/ATHEIST

by the time i went to college, but honestly pretty unhappy about it; while it was harder than ever for me to actually *connect* with the divine, i didn't like thinking that my previous experiences of the divine were total lies. because my shitty evangelical church, for all its faults, could not *completely* sabotage the sense of God's presence. there were real moments in that church where i do believe i experienced something divine. mostly mediated by one particular youth minister, who in hindsight was the only spiritual teacher in that church who didn't seem a bit rotten inside, but! it was something!

so when i happened upon a bunch of writings on the now-defunct shii.org (that's the bit that makes me look WILDLY ignorant, lol), i was utterly captivated.

said author was a previous archdruid of the Reformed Druids of North America, an organization that was formed in the 1960s to troll the administration of Carleton College (there was a religious-service-attendance requirement; they made their own religion; their religion had whiskey and #chilltimes for its services). however, this shii.org dude seemed to take it pretty seriously. he was studying history of religion and blogged a lot about his studies, both academic and otherwise. while RDNA had started out as a troll, that didn't mean they hadn't *discovered* something real in the process, he said.

this, already, was going to be innately appealing to me; i've got a soft spot for wow-we-were-doing-this-ironically-but-now-it's-kinda-real? stuff in general.

in particular, shii.org’s discussions on the separation of ritual from belief was really interesting to me: most religions/spiritualities have *both*, but like, you can do a ritual without having the Exact Right Beliefs (if there even is such a thing!), and it can still be useful to you, it can have real power. (he had a really lovely essay, speculating on the origins of religion as just a form of art, but that essay is now lost to the sands of time, alas.)

(note that i wouldn't really recommend seeking out *recent* writing by the shii.org guy; he kinda went full tedious neoreactionary-blowhard-who-reads-a-lot-of-Spengler at some point? sigh.)

the shii.org guy led me to checking out a bunch of books on the history of neopaganism & also books by scholars of religion in general, and the more i read, the more excited i became. and i started doing little ritual/meditation stuff here and there.

then i was fortunate enough to attend some events with Earthspirit (this was when i lived in Boston), which cemented my hippie dalliances into something more real. the folks there, being from Boston, were all ridiculously overeducated (a sensibility that appeals to me), but also, being the kind of folks who drive out to a mountain in the middle of nowhere for a spiritual retreat, they tolerated a full range of oddities (everyone from aging-70s-feminist-wiccans to living-on-a-farm-with-your-bros-Astaru to dude-who-started-having-weird-visions-and-is-just-trying-to-figure-out-the-deal to Nordic-spiritualist-with-two-phds-from-Scandanavian-universities-on-the-subject, etc), which gave me a lot of room to explore different types of rituals, ceremonies, "magic", etc.

(polytheism in general lends itself well to this sort of easy plurality! i can believe other people are experiencing something real with their gods, and i can be talking to a totally different set of gods, and that’s just all very compatible, etc)

anyway, i started calling myself

AGNOSTIC/DRUID

around then, because i knew i'd found *something*, something that felt like all the realest moments i'd ever had in nature, and all the realest moments i'd ever had in that shitty megachurch, but i wasn't quite ready to put a theology to it.

but, idk, you do the thing for a while, and you start encountering some things that you may as well call gods, and you realize you're in pretty deep, and you ditch the "agnostic" bit and just throw hands and start describing yourself as

SOME SORTA DRUID-NEOPAGAN-ANIMIST THING

because that's the most precise thing you can muster. in particular, the druid bit resonates because nature's still very much at the center of my practice; the neopagan bit resonates because i'm not especially interested in reconstructing older traditions or being faithful to any actual pre-Christian traditions, and animist resonates because what i sometimes call gods seem to be tied pretty tightly to the land itself. it's all very experiential; all this mostly means i'm some weird chick who sometimes grabs a car and drives out someplace very lonely and hikes for a while and does some hippie shit to try and talk with the land or the god or whatever is there. and sometimes i come back from it changed, or refocused, or what-have-you, and hopefully i'm better for it. i'm aware this makes me look a little ridiculous, and is an unsatisfying answer, sorry!

WRT YOUR SITUATION

i don't know you or your situation, obviously, but if i wanted to give former-me some advice to save her some angst, i'd say

-> Christendom itself is far wilder and more diverse than many churches lead you to believe. if you still want to be Christian on some level, and it's just a shitty church that's convinced you the whole project is fucked, i'd honestly explore, i dunno, your nearest Quaker meeting. they're invoking the Holy Spirit with regularity but they're not raging douchenozzles about it.

-> if you're specifically interested in druidism, i found John Michael Greer's "A World Full of Gods" really nice. (caveat: Greer has *also* gone full right-wing nutjob these days, sigh, so like. would not recommend a great swath of his writing. but that one's good)

-> deciding that a just God wouldn't give me a brain and then ask me not to use it was hugely comforting to me. like, that was the start of the whole process, that was what made me feel ok searching for other churches and trying to find something that fit. obviously you should take this with 800 grains of salt, because obviously i'm no longer Christian, and thus maybe i'm just some poor misguided fallen soul, but... i still kinda believe that! maybe if you can make yourself believe that, it'll seem less scary?

idk, happy to answer more questions, sorry for the long ramble, hope it helped~

#druid stuff

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rawiswhore · 4 years ago

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Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam, Johnny Nitro, Stevie Richards x Fem Reader- “Cycle Slut From Hell”

The WWF's Attitude era was infamous and notorious for beginning to sexually objectify women, but one of the things they surprisingly didn't do during that era was have "schoolgirl matches", where WWE divas dress as slutty, naughty Catholic schoolgirls.

And in 2004, yep, you were involved in that same Catholic schoolgirl battle royale amongst other WWE divas were involved in, dressed in scantily clad schoolgirl outfits.

You were dressed in pigtails, a white crop top that reached below your tits and tied up at your chest and a little plaid miniskirt with white socks that stopped at your knees.

Britney Spears and t.A.t.U. don't have anything on you.

Seeing you in that naughty schoolgirl outfit made males, both grown men and horny underage boys, of course made males salivate.

And not just people watching this in the audience and on television, but some of the men in the WWE as well, be it wrestlers, managers, writers, etc.

Even better, this year, someone wrote a graphic novel that parodies "The X Files" titled "Revenge of the Nymphomaniac", a comic that puts the graphic in "pornographic".

It makes the lyrics to Cardi B and Megan thee Stallion's "WAP" sound like a church song.

One of your personal friends sent you that graphic novel, and there's actually characters in that comic, one character looks like a cross between Stone Cold Steve Austin and Albert from the WWE/F (the same Albert who a decade later Gangnam Style danced in lingerie with Brodus Clay), Razor Ramon and even Brian Pillman and you even showed Stone Cold, Albert and Razor the pages that had these characters that looked like them!

Wonder if the illustrators even based these characters' images on those 3 aforementioned 90's wrestlers?

Wrestlers usually have nicknames that start with "the", Stone Cold known as "The Rattlesnake", Bret Hart is "The Hitman", the Rock is "The Great One" and "The People's Champ", your nickname in the WWE and even when it was called the WWF was "The Nymphomaniac" or "the Nympho".

Since wrestlers have wrestling T-shirts and merchandise for fans to wear (Stone Cold's "Austin 3:16" shirt, The Rock's "Layeth the Smacketh Down", Hulk Hogan's "Hulkamaniac", D Generation X's "We Got Two Words For Ya" and it says "Suck it!" on the back), there's a WWF/E shirt made for you that reads "nymphomania" and it's a yellow top with red letters, parodying Hulk Hogan's "Hulkamania" shirt.

There's a scene in the comic that really sticks out, and seeing you in those pigtails in that schoolgirl match reminded some of the male wrestlers you've fucked of that scene.

Especially an idea that popped in the head of one of these wrestlers, and this wrestler is a notorious horndog whose gimmick was a ladies' man.

Who is he?

No, not Val Venis. Shawn Michaels!

Shawn said to you how seeing you in pigtails reminded him of that scene in that "X Files" parody you introduced him to, and it gave him an idea.

He explained his idea, and you didn't mind it, as long as you didn't completely recreate this certain scenario.

Rob Van Dam was still in the WWE, and that's a good thing, because he's hot.

Shawn is pushing 40 and he's still sexier than ever.

But dammit, Triple H just had to grow facial hair, and Jeff Hardy is in TNA, which is a shame considering Jeff looks hot as hell in TNA.

Although, Triple H is pretty hot with facial hair, but he looks better without it.

At least Triple H in 2004 looks better than Triple H with that Lemmy from Motorhead handlebar moustache in 2006.

However, you did call Jeff and asked him if it would be okay if he spent some freetime with you, you wanted to do something involving him, and he actually agreed.

You actually have thought of inviting some male TNA wrestlers from 2004 to what's planned for tonight, some of them are hot!

John Morrison has also made his debut in the WWE this year, and he's probably one of the few WWE wrestlers in 2004 you think is sexy, he'd get even hotter 2 years later.

Though, in 2004, he was known as Johnny Nitro.

And one wrestler you find sexy that has now finally joined the WWE is Stevie Richards, who you might remember from Right to Censor in the Attitude era (and Blue World Order from ECW).

He's grown his hair out and looks pretty hot.

Sometime after that schoolgirl match involving you, Trish Stratus, Torrie Wilson and even the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, you had some free time and invited Shawn, Rob, Jeff, Johnny and Stevie to your personal dressing room.

That way, there won't be any neighbors hearing what's going on next door, especially if this was in a hotel room.

Your hair was tied in two cute, perky pigtails, much like the same pigtails you adorned in the schoolgirl match with Torrie Wilson, Trish Stratus and what have you.

These men you invited to your dressing room were dressed in black leather jackets and jeans.

"Hey guys, look!" Johnny exclaimed, pointing at you. "We've got a visitor!".

You told Johnny to say that since you're trying to recreate this scenario with him and a few others.

Jeff has holding the "X Files" parody graphic novel in one hand a few inches to his face, his eyes reading the page that you're going to recreate tonight.

You, on the other hand, had crouched down to the ground, your face buried in his crotch and had pulled down his pants and boxers, your mouth was busy sucking on his cock.

"Is this chick a friend of yours?" Jeff asked, reciting a Brian Pillman lookalike getting his cock blown in the comic. "I hadn't even finished pissing before she was licking the tip and begging me to let her suck it!"

Heh heh heh, suck it, Shawn Michaels thought, thinking that in Butthead from the popular 90's cartoon "Beavis and Butthead"'s voice and reminding him of D Generation X's iconic catchphrase.

I’m sure saying “suck it” made Johnny, Stevie, Jeff and Rob think of DX’s iconic catchphrase too.

Jeff changed the words from "relieving myself" to "pissing" because there's another way people can relieve themselves and it isn't from masturbating!

Jeff then handed the comic to Rob, who, along with Shawn, Johnny and Stevie, were watching you suck on his cock.

Rob took the comic and then flipped to the next page.

You had introduced him to this comic and he knew most of it, especially this scene you're trying to recreate it.

"Never seen her before!" Rob confessed.

"A daddy's girl!" Jeff admitted.

Rob was quoting a man in the comic who looked huge, hulky and burly, like a wrestler, but this man was ugly and Rob is hot.

You have sex with hot guys, not ugly ones.

It would be better if you had just typed all of this and printed it out for these men to say these lines, but whatever.

Since you've introduced Rob, Shawn, Johnny and Stevie to this comic and they have some of it memorized, although Rob was showing this page and pointing to Shawn, Johnny and Stevie what comes next while these 2 looked at this scenario, Shawn, Johnny and Stevie moved their hands to their jeans, where they unbuttoned and unzipped their jeans, their hands sliding down their boxers and pulling their cocks out.

They weren't the only ones doing this, Rob as well unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, where he reached down his boxers and pulled his dick out.

Since you have this comic memorized, especially this scene, you pulled your face away from Jeff's erection, and swarming around you was Jeff, Shawn, Rob, Johnny and Stevie's cocks all pointing and sticking out at you, some of them even had their hands on their shafts.

"Is this what you were looking for, sweetie?" Shawn asked. "Well, you've found it!"

It would've been better if this comic had gotten released in the 90's and you recreated this scenario with D Generation X in late 1998/early 1999, because DX were a gang clad in black leather of a bunch of naughty boys, but for some reason this comic gets published during a year when "The X Files" wasn't really popular and had already been cancelled.

Shawn grabs onto one of your pigtails and lifts you up from the ground, albeit he doesn't pull your hair hard.

"Don' t worry, we're all gonna have some fun!" Shawn exclaimed. "C'mmere slut, let's take a look at the goods!"

Shawn pulled a pocketknife out of one of the pockets of his jeans, where he flicked the knife open and held it to your chest, albeit not hard so he won't cut your throat or anything else.

The knife carefully tore down the top you were wearing, exposing more of your skin as it sunk all the way down the middle to the bottom of your shirt, and you wore no bra under your shirt.

The shirt he tore was a shirt you don't really like, and you're glad he tore that shirt, that's why you wore it!

Though, was it necessary for him to tear one of your shirts? You could've worn the same top you wore to the late 2004 schoolgirl match.

Meanwhile, Jeff pulled down your miniskirt and panties down to your knees, exposing your bare naked pussy.

Shawn placed the pocketknife back in his pocket, shedding your shirt he tore off of your arms.

"A nice peace, huh, guys?" Shawn asked, putting one of his arms behind your shoulders.

"Totally unfresh, totally unspoiled!" Jeff exclaimed, crouching down to your knees.

He crawled between your legs and his tongue began eating out your twat.

In the comic, some ugly guy who says "totally unfresh, totally unclean" eats out this girl's asshole, and you told Jeff not to eat your asshole out since you've made out with him (and want to make out with him in the future) and you don't want his tongue to touch something where even more disgusting bacteria filled waste comes out of that tastes bad.

Jeff isn't too into eating women's assholes either.

Shawn placed one of his hands to the side of your face.

"Y'like having my friend eat your cunt?" Shawn asked.

"Y-yes!" you stuttered and confessed.

Shawn didn't put a knife to your face like the Razor Ramon lookalike did in the comic, and thank goodness.

One of Shawn's other hands moved to your breasts, where his fingers tweaked and twisted your nipples.

"And this?" Shawn asked. "Y'like this too?"

"Aaahhh, yes!!" you moaned and confessed, leaning your head back in ecstacy over how good this feels.

Rob walked over and joined Shawn, where Rob proceeded to tweak the other nipple.

These men would all love to have turns eating your twat out and tweaking your nipples and whatnot, maybe they will!

Jeff's tongue wasn't just roaming and traveling all over your pussy, but licking, flicking and swirling on your sensitive clitoris.

You were quietly moaning little high pitched, gasp-y moans while two men were playing with your nips and another was eating your twat out.

Shawn heard some footsteps walking behind him, those footsteps being Stevie Richards walking up to him.

"Stevie, I think our friend needs warming up!" Shawn exclaimed "You in?"

"Fuck yeah!" Stevie responded.

Stevie carefully grabbed one of your pigtails, where he pulled you into his genitals, Rob and Shawn's hands slipping out of their grasps, no longer playing with your nipples.

"Make like D Generation X and suck it!" Stevie ordered you, "Got it?"

"Y-yes!" you stuttered and answered, where you proceed to suck his cock, letting his erection enter your mouth.

Surprisingly, Stevie didn't do DX's iconic crotch chop while saying "suck it", but that is soooooo 1998 (although, you miss 1998, but I'm sure some of us did in 2004!).

Though, the crotch chop and "suck it" catchphrase that accompanies it should come back, for certain reasons...

D Generation X in general should've come back and actually almost did in 2002, but the powers that be decided not to, although seeing men pushing 40 acting like immature fratboys...

"I wouldn't suck on Stevie's cock!" Johnny shouted. "He hasn't washed it in two weeks!"

"Neither have you!" Stevie barked back, looking at him. "But I'll make an effort...pass me a beer!"

Johnny handed him a can of Coors he lifted from the pack of beer he brought with him to the room, where Stevie took the can, wrapping his fingers around it.

Stevie cracked open the beer, albeit not like Stone Cold, but by putting his finger in between the tab and pulling it open.

He tipped the can and poured it over his erection, letting the beer drench his shaft.

He poured the can up and down his shaft, some of the beer dripping onto the floor and on your face.

The beer tasted disgusting and nasty, beer in general tastes bitter and stale, why does Stone Cold chug this stuff down?

Oh yeah, his character (that was his idea and made him famous).

Speaking of Stone Cold, wouldn't it be better and make more sense if Stone Cold was in the room and poured beer over someone's cock?

Although, Stone Cold isn't much to look at, in my opinion, anyway...

"There, now I've had a shower!" Stevie exclaimed.

While you sucked his cock, precum was spilling out of the slit of his penishead, you were gulping it down as well as some of the beer that drenched his shaft.

As you sucked on Stevie's cock, Rob and Shawn were next to your tits, and they went back to tweaking your nipples, but they didn't just tweak your nipples.

Afterwards, they leaned their heads in your nips and sucked them, running their tongues around in circles on your areolas.

Your areolas are so sensitive, and you'd love it if they still tweaked your nipples, though, this is nice too...

"Ohhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhh!!!" you cried and moaned out, Stevie's cock in your mouth.

You tried not to bite on Stevie's dick while it was in your mouth.

What follows after what you're recreating is a part that's very, very nasty, and a part that's disgusting and dangerous, so you'll skip over that part and even told these men to skip over it.

Jeff has probably spent enough time eating your twat out, so he moved himself away from your pussy.

This evening, Shawn and the rest of the wrestlers in your dressing room are roleplaying as bikers.

Since Shawn's cock was hanging out and he noticed Jeff had moved away from your twat, Shawn got behind you, where his cock slid into your pussy hole Jeff had eaten out, and started to thrust his cock back and forth inside your cunt.

That wasn't all Shawn did, he wrapped his fingers around your hair tied in 2 pigtails, gently pulling your pigtails like they're handlebars.

One of his hands pulled your left ponytail towards the left side, making your face shift there, only for his hand to pull on the right one and shift your face towards the right.

"Left...right...look, it turns easy!" Shawn exclaimed as he thrust in and out of you.

"Ohhhhh, God, Shaaaaawnn!" you moaned and whined.

He didn't just also pull on your pigtails like they're handlebars, he rotated his knuckles like he was revving up the handlebars of a motorcycle.

Rob, meanwhile, had his shaft in his hand, jerking his cock off.

"Sweet!" Rob exclaimed. "This is the first time I've ever had to jerk off to a bike!"

"Me too!" John added.

Rob, Johnny, Stevie and Jeff all walked over in front of your face, where they proceeded to jerk their cocks off right in front of you, pointing their penises at your face, hoping to aim their precum on your face.

Your eyes were closed, that way you won't get any cum in your eyes.

Precum was spilling down their shafts, but they wanted to get it on your face.

Some of it was getting on your face and dripping down your face.

You'd love it if Shawn jerked off on your face as well, in the comic, the girl doesn't have a cock inside her pussy when some guy pulls a leather strap in her mouth and uses it like they're handlebars, perhaps maybe he could.

"Shaaaaawn!" you cried out, albeit not sexually.

He heard you shout your name, but he thought you shouting his name was from you moaning, not something you wanted him to do to you.

"Shaaaawn!" you shouted, raising your voice so he can hear you "Can you take your dick out of my pussy? I want you to cum on my face!"

Shawn heard what you said, which frustrated him considering he's busy thrusting in and out of you, but he remembered how the Razor Ramon lookalike wasn't fucking that redheaded Wendy's girl lookalike when he had that strap in her mouth in that comic.

However, Shawn would love to cum on your face.

He's probably the sexiest man in the room right now.

Some of these other wrestlers (as well as wrestlers not in the room) would love to fuck you in your cunt, maybe they even can, but not for now.

Better luck next time.

"Hah!" Rob laughed "Right on the headlamps!"

"Yeah man, do it!" Jeff added "Just do it!"

Since you have some cocks pointing in your face, you tried opening your eyes, you'd love to suck on one (if not all) of these cocks at the same time.

All your eyes could see in front of you were some cocks pointing in your face, but these cocks need some and were made for suckin'!

Since your mouth was agape thanks to you moaning, you tried leaning your face into Rob's cock, trying to get Rob's erection enter your mouth.

Rob could see your mouth leaning in his dick, so he let his cock slide in your mouth, where you proceeded to suck him off, wrapping your mouth around his shaft.

You didn't just suck his cock, but swallow some of the precum that dripped down his shaft as well.

While sucking his cock (and sucking dick in general) is wonderful, you'd love it if his cum got on your face, not just in your mouth.

Though his cum has been in your mouth, down your throat, in your stomach, on your face and in your vagina, uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries as well, implanting an egg with his seed!

This goes for some of the other men in the room as well: Jeff, Shawn, Johnny and Stevie.

Meanwhile, Shawn's cock slipped out of your cunt hole, still as erect and throbbing as ever, and he walked over in front of you, his erection pointing in your face.

Your eyes could see Shawn's dick pointing in front of you, your eyes growing wild seeing his cock.

Rob loves you sucking him off and all, but you have other things to do.

Shawn wrapped his fingers around his shaft and proceeded to jerk his cock off, his hand moving up and down his shaft over and over again.

He pointed his erection to your face, aiming for his cock to shoot at your face.

Precum was spilling out of the slit of his penishead and some of it was getting on your face.

You, on the other hand, pulled your face away from Rob's erection, his penis leaving your mouth.

"Sorry" you apologized, looking up at him. "I want you to cum on my face, not in my mouth!"

Rob was shocked and frustrated when you pulled your face away from his erection, but he understood once you confessed.

He still continued jerking off on your face, getting his cum on your face.

One of these wrestlers in the room could be behind you and pull your pigtails like they're handlebars, pretend you're a motorcycle, maybe he could even cum in your pussy!

You even gave a hand or two to Rob, Jeff and Shawn and helped masturbate them.

One by one, but not one a few seconds right after the other, pretty soon, all of these wrestlers in front of you jizzed on your face, getting their white cum all over your beautiful face.

You closed your eyes when they came, so their cum won't get in your eyes. It stings like fuck when that happens!

You sucked and cleaned their cocks off afterwards with your mouth and tongue, now you can have their cum in your mouth and swallow it!

Sometimes you even tried putting two or three cocks in your mouth.

Jeff couldn't believe that his cock was in your mouth right next to Shawn's cock, simply because Shawn and Jeff are both the sexiest men in the room.

Jeff grew up idolizing Shawn and was the Shawn Michaels to Matt Hardy's Marty Jannetty.

But Jeff has been in a few orgies involving you and Shawn as far back as 1997.

That goes for Johnny as well, he even has been called "the next Shawn Michaels" (I'm sure people said the same about Jeff) and Johnny Nitro when he was in that MNM tagteam was the Shawn to that other guy's Marty Jannetty.

You slightly regret you didn't try to suck on Jeff, Shawn, Stevie and John's cocks before they all came, but maybe next time this can happen.

This biker-themed orgy is like something D Generation X would've done in the late 90's, specifically the DX that had X Pac and the New Age Outlaws, not just the DX with Triple H and Shawn Michaels.

Confession: That "X Files" parody comic "Revenge of the Nymphomaniac" is an actual comic, Google it, especially on Google images, and you'll see the scenes I recreated.

I always thought "Revenge of the Nymphomaniac" was written in 1996, I even typed a fanfic set in late 1997/early 1998 where the fem reader licks the sweat off of Shawn Michaels and Triple H after they've had a match that was influenced by a moment from that comic, but because of this one biker scene in the comic featuring Stone Cold, Razor Ramon and Brian Pillman lookalikes (despite me thinking it was released in 1996 when Stone Cold was an up-and-coming wrestler), I wondered if these lookalikes were based on those wrestlers (which they probably were).

I looked it up and it turns out this comic was actually written in 2004.

I also thought there was a slutty schoolgirl match featuring WWE divas in 2003, not 2004.

I got the idea for this fanfic when someone online made a video of oversexualized WWE/F divas and Sexy Diva Action from the Attitude and Ruthless Aggression eras (as well as sexualized women in 90's and 2000's ECW and late 2000's/early 2010's era TNA) set to the song "Sex Machine" by Dope (a Marilyn Manson knockoff band), and there's these lyrics in that song that go "Start her motor, take your time Rev her up slowly and pull to the line", which immediately made me think of this scene from that "Revenge of the Nymphomaniac" comic.

Also, I have thought of setting this fanfic in early 1998 or even in late 1998/early 1999 when D Generation X were still a thing and looked like bikers and maybe even recreating that aforementioned scene from “Revenge of the Nymphomaniac” even though the comic hadn’t been invented yet.

#shawn michaels #rob van dam #jeff hardy #2004 #stevie richards #johnny nitro #2000s #00s #wwe #ruthless aggression #ruthless aggression era #fanfiction

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melyaliz · 5 years ago

Text

Scribbles

Fandom: Marvel / X-men Movies

Summary: Soulmate AU where whatever they write on their skin goes on their soulmates and person A keeps drawing dicks because they think it’s funny that they will show up on person B. and person B having to constantly cover them up and like “who the FUCK is this asshole!”

Pairing: Peter Maximoff x OC

Notes: First off yes, I know I have a few requests and this isn’t one of them but… I was inspired (Like 8 pages inspired)

Gemma is my new oc that I am working on at the moment I’ll probably post her character sheet soon plus MAYBE finish her full story.

Anyway, she grew up in a pretty christen household (thinking she may be a pastor's daughter) And I totally HC that Peter is TOTALLY the kind of guy who would draw on himself.

So the image of like Gemma having to go to church with a HUGE dick on her arm and has to wear a sweater in summer and stuff was just too funny to pass up on.

I honestly didn’t know how to end this so I just kind of did?

Promise requests will be coming soon :D

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

———--------------------------------------------------

Peter had already been suspended from writing on textbooks and his desk and with his notebook confiscated there was nothing left but his arm.

Freedom of expression man.

Plus the monster eating the freckle on his left arm was tiring out really good.

“Mr. Maximoff, do you have anything of value to add to our discussion today?”

“Huh?”

“That’s what I thought.”

Peter frowned his brown eyes scanning the board for a moment taking in the information before glancing over at Karen’s notes. Pride and prejudice was as boring as it sounded. Wasn’t that kind of a chick book anyway?

“Yeah, I’m good” Peter added putting his hands behind his back as his teacher his arm and art clearly visible for the teacher to see just to prove his defiance to this book.

However, the teacher didn’t react and just went back to the front of the class.

Confused Peter looked at his arm.

It was blank.

-*-

“Gemma what did you do to your arm!?!”

Gemma glanced down at her arm, the sleeve of her rolled up Catholic school uniform visibly showed the dark drawings of monsters eating helpless woman. “Uhhh I…”

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you go to that Iron Maiden concert,” her mother and school’s math teacher said grabbing her daughter pulling her toward the bathroom. “Your body is a temple”

“Mom I promise? I have no idea how I got this!”

Her mother paused for a moment looking down at her daughter’s arm, the permanent dark images now bleeding down her pale skin making them look even more grotesque.

“I wonder…”

“What Mom?”

“So you didn’t draw on yourself?”

“I mean I have before but this isn’t me I’m not this good. Honest, I know it sounds crazy but it just showed up after science. Bobby was laughing about it and I was so confused.” Gemma adding a little More soap to her arm blowing away a few strands of her white-blonde hair out of her face, “besides I’m not stupid enough to draw demons on my arm at a Catholic school”

“It could be your soulmate”

“Huh?” Gemma turned to her mom who was now rummaging in her bag for something. Once she found it she pulled out her pen handing it to her daughter.

“Write something”

“What happened to my body is a temple?”

“Too late now” her mother laughed motioning to the melting monsters. “Go ahead”

“What should I draw?” Nerves bubbling up inside her. Weird how nervous you can suddenly get.

“Anything you want.”

Growing Gemma placed the pen to her skin pausing for a moment trying to think about what to draw.

HELLO

-*-

Bold block letters running down the length of his arm stopping at his wrist. Peter had already gotten a detention slip for mouthing off to his teacher and was now tapping his pencil on his desk as he sat there. Board out of his mind… until now.

Curious he glanced down at his arm looking over the words now scrolled boldly over his arm.

Interesting.

“Maximoff are we going to have a problem?”

“Nope” came the distracted respond as Peter slowly drew a question mark behind the Hello.

-*-

A simple question mark drew itself next to one of the monsters making him look more inquisitive than scary. Gemma bit her lip trying not to laugh during her English class.

Poor little guy, he was more confused that she was. Probably wondering why she had tried to erase him from her arm.

-*-

Could you not use a permanent marker? These monsters will never come off.

Neat full circles looped across the top of his arm before one of his monsters came back to him in bright pink sharpie. Obviously traced.

Oh, it’s on.

Pulling out his VERY permanent maker Peter started to draw.

-*-

“Shit” Gemma hissed as the huge dick and balls appeared on her hand. The shaft stretching from her hand down to her wrist.

“Miss Gemma? Is there something you would like to say to the class?”

Quickly she hid her hand under her desk “nope.”

“What are you hiding?”

“Nothing sister”

“Then pull up your hands” as Gemma slowly planted her hands on the desk the nun gasped “GEMMA!”

“It’s not me!”

“Who else would do that? And when because I don’t remember seeing any phallic images on you before”

“I…”

“Detention”

Tossing her books and supplies into her backpack Gemma stood up walking off to detention, Sister Maryann stopped her handing her a bar of soap. Gemma looked down at it wondering where in the hell she had even been hiding that. Although Sister Maryann was known for washing kids mouths out with soap when they “took the Lord's name in vain” so maybe this was the mouth soap.

-*-

Actual size Bold thick and large lettering hung over a small dick laying limp on the same hand he had drawn his own gorgeous penis drawing.

Which of course, appeared right as he was flirting with Suzie, the cutest girl in school.

“You have something on your hand…” the pretty brunette said nodding toward Peter’s hand which was holding her own as he “explained” the best way to use a joystick on the newest arcade game that had been put in across the street from their high school.

“Are you kidding me!?!” Peter said pulling his hand quickly away, “Freak used permanent marker too”

“What did it say?” Suzie giggled trying to get a look at his hand as her jock boyfriend walked up throwing an arm over her.

“What up Petey?”

“His hand just got this weird mark on it.”

“Oh really?”

“Yep, got to go, see you both later fellow classmates,” Peter said saluting before dashing off probably a little faster than he should have.

“This asshole” he hissed as he quickly ran his hand under the water trying to rub it off face slightly flushed with embarrassment over having the girl of his dreams see it. And they had been getting along so well too!

Oh it was on now.

-*-

“This asshole” Gemma laughed as she scrubbed her arm with the hard bar of soap. Leave it to Sister Maryann to have the magic cure for something that shouldn’t be cured. While her hand was now rubbed raw from scrubbing, the large dick was no longer scrolled across her hand and the monsters were all but faded away.

Letting out a triumphant laugh she looked into the mirror a huge smile on her face.

Which faded into shock as her reflection looked back at her.

Her face with a huge twisted mustache drawn across her upper lip.

“SON OF A BITCH!”

Soulmate my ass. This person was the devil incarnate.

-*-

Nothing.

Peter checked everywhere, even stripping down to make sure there wasn’t anything written on… his precious bits.

But no. Nothing came up.

Guess he had won.

Something he through of proudly as he continued to doodle across his arms and legs. He never wrote on his face again and kept things mostly contained.

Although he would draw the occasional risque image in a fun place just to see if he would get a reaction.

Not that he cared.

Not that it mattered.

It wasn’t like the thought of having someone out there that he could always talk to, was always there no matter what was something he wanted.

Nope, not at all.

Although when the cuts and bruises started to form he got a little worried. They got worse as time went on. Large hand size bruises and burns running all over his body. It was as if whoever that was on the other side was part of some fight club or something.

During that time was the only time he truly addressed them.

Are you ok?

-*-

Gemma rubbed her arm nervously as she walked through Xavier's school for gifted children. Led by the man himself it, Charles Xavier.

She didn’t belong here, among the heroes. After being brainwashed to become nothing more than a weapon in some twisted man’s army Gemma felt like the silly catholic school girl who had a closeted love for Heavy Metal music was like a stranger to her. In her place was this strange woman now walking through a fog of uncertainty.

The words Are you ok had almost faded from her arm but she had refused to wash it away. It had been a reminder that morning that something may have been wrong. That maybe those strange dreams she was having and those wounds she was waking up with were maybe not just nothing.

That small warning that had been the tipping point. An almost literal wakeup call that had ended with her coming to this place filled with other mutants. People who had helped set her free from her prison. Break free from the mind control she had been under.

And faced with the reality of what she had unknowingly done under that man’s control she had no idea where to go from there.

Where did she belong?

-*-

It was faint but Peter saw it as she pointed toward the library asking Charles a question. Faded little gray letters, rushed and fast, scribbled across her underarm.

He didn’t need to know what they said, he already knew.

-*-

Turn Around

Gemma blinked in confusion as the bold messy words flashed onto her hand.

What?

How?

Turning she saw him, the speedster, Peter, standing a few feet behind her, a permanent marker in his hand with a huge smile on his face.

“Hello.”

Shock.

It washed over her like cold water.

For years she had wondered who that total ass was who had continued to plague her body with drawings. Her once perfect record marred with endless visits to the principle and detention. Gemma had always been a fly under the radar kind of girl, just be middle of the road and go unseen. Yet all those colorful drawings and even more colorful words had made her stand out in ways she had never dreamed of.

Who was that person? Why were they doing this? How come they didn’t seem to care? After all, it was clear there was someone else was getting marred by those drawings.

A million questions flew through her mind and even more memories.

Yet nothing seemed to come out.

“Bet you never thought you would be this lucky,” Peter said running his fingers through his silver hair. “I mean you basically hit the jackpot of soulmates.”

“You…” her hands flickered with energy, emotions building up inside her spilling out, “total ASS!”

Peter went flying across the hallway as she shot him, not enough to hurt him just kind of give him a taste of what he had been doing to her for the past 8ish years.

“Could you two maybe…. I guess not” Charles groaned as Gemma’s second blast missed a much wiser Peter, blowing up a beautiful 16th-century vase.

“It took me a WEEK to wash off that stupid dick you drew across my chest! And that during prom weekend”

Peter was laughing as he grabbed Gemma taking her outside where they could hash this out somewhere safe.

“So what kind of dress did you wear to prom?” Peter asked looking her over trying to picture it, a cute little red (or maybe blue to match her eyes) dress with a big of black dick drawn up her chest the tip peeking out of the collar.

“A cardigan thanks to you.”

“Awww what’s the fun in that?”

“I went to a Catholic school.”

Peter stood there for a moment the image of her in a little catholic uniform covered in his demon and phallic drawings was just…

Perfect.

“Jesus Christ you didn’t!?!” he doubled over laughing as she watched him trying to fight back a smile. Honestly, after everything she had been through the memories of her trying to scrub off little devils and titties off her arms and legs felt almost…

Comforting.

As annoying as they were, those drawings had kind of been comforting. They set her apart, let her know (as weird as he was) there was someone out there that was all her’s. Yes the dicks and the tits were annoying but there were also some pretty cool song lyrics that had helped her to discover music she hadn’t heard before.

He was like her annoying little secret that broke out away from the everydayness of her very normal life.

Plus she had to admit, it was a pretty funny image looking back.

Not that she would EVER admit any of this to him. At least not right now.

“You owe me big.”

“Oh, Gemma I promise, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“Why do I get the feeling your idea of making it up to me is going to be different than what mean?”

“Maybe being soulmates always means you can read my mind?” he said leaning forward wagging his eyebrows. Gemma couldn’t help but laugh up at him as he took a step back holding out his hand.

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

As she took his hand Gemma had a feeling that much like the first time those little monsters appeared on her arms, her life was going to be filled with many more surprises.

-GET TAGGED!-

Tagging: @royslittleharper @the-shadow-of-atlantis @coffee-randomness @daisyboobear @nilthanious @jason-redhood @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr @ocelysium @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep

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fuckyeahhistory · 5 years ago

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OK I know what you’re thinking. Why is the 1533 Buggery Act such a big deal! After all, it’s a piece of Tudor law:

A) that sounds dry AF

B) has nothing to do with me!

Well, if you care about LGBTQ+ rights (or let’s be blunt, basic human rights) than this is a piece of Tudor law that you have to know about!

The 1533 Buggery Act wove a tangled web that stretches throughout history. Beyond those who were caught up in its immediate wake, It’s threads lead us to Oscar Wilde’s imprisonment, Alan Turing’s conviction and the abysmal pit where fundamental rights should be, that the LGBTQ+ community and their allies are still fighting against.

So if that still sounds dry AF, then strap in Donald, because you’re about to get your mind blown.

Seriously we’re getting into world view changing stuff!

The Buggery Act was the brainchild of Henry VIII who had a fun habit of lumbering the UK with laws that came out of him wanting to make a point during a hissy fit…yet inexplicably stuck around for hundreds of years at a major human cost (e.g that time he made it legal to execute someone with severe mental health issues) The 1533 Buggery Act was no exception!

But lets take it back to pre-Henry for a second. Prior to 1533 there were no set laws to persecute homosexuality in England. That’s not to say it wasn’t. In the 13th century two legal codes called for men caught having same sex relationships to be buried alive or burnt, which is horrific!

However, these were suggestions, not actual laws and there is no evidence that these punishments were ever carried out. For the most part, the then frowned upon act was dealt with in the ecclesiastic courts (so basically it was left with god and his earthly servants to deal with either after death or in the realm of the church)

As such, the sudden decision to make homosexuality criminal was a big deal. In fact it was such a big deal that this sharp turn to criminalisation actually had to be addressed in the original statues outlining the 1533 act. Which says that the law was in part created to make homosexuality clearly punishable, saying:

“For as moche as there is not yet sufficient & condigne punishment appointed & limitted by the due course of the lawes of this realme for the detestable & abominable vice of buggeri committed with mankind or beest.”

It goes on to explain the possible punishments for those caught committing ‘buggery’:

“And that the offenders being herof convict by verdicte, confession, or outlaurie, shall suffer suche peynes of dethe, and losses, and penalties of their goodes, cattals, dettes, londes, tenements, and heredytamentes, as felons benne accustomed to do accordynge to the order of the common lawes of this realme. And that no person offendynge in any suche offence, shalbe admitted to his clergye”

Obviously the clear biggy here is ‘pain of death’, but right at the bottom of this portion of transcript there’s the sentence:

‘And that no person offending in such offence shall be admitted to his clergy’ – that right there is the crux of this whole piece of legislation.

Because why create The Buggery Act and criminalise same sex relationships at this particular moment in time?

To persecute the Catholic Church of course!

If you’re thinking , ‘that makes little to no sense’, gold star! It doesn’t… well at least until you break down what was going down in 1533.

You see, until the 1530’s England had been part of the Catholic Church. But, Henry VIII was desperate to break away from the church as it wouldn’t grant him a divorce so he could marry his side chick, Anne Boleyn. So Henry decided to create a new church for England, one that he’d be the head of (and wouldn’t you know it, the head of this new church just happened to be A-ok with divorce).

Sadly creating your own church doesn’t magically erase your countries already existing, centuries old religion overnight. So Henry worked with his right hand man, Thomas Cromwell, to loosen the tight hold Catholicism had on England and for a double win, also siphon it’s money to Henry.

The 1533 Buggery Act was just part of this plan. It was solely designed to take away a little bit of the power away from The Catholic Church, not to actually persecute homosexuality.

And yet this law was about to take its first victim.

By 1540 the Buggery Act had done its job. The Catholic Churches hold on England had been loosened, Henry had married Anne Boleyn (and then had her executed), married again (this time she’d died in childbirth) and was onto marriage number four. Thomas Cromwell had played Cupid for these nuptials, hooking Henry up with his new wife, Anne of Cleves. Sadly Henry wasn’t a fan of his new bride and this was such a big no no that it led to Thomas Cromwell’s death.

But as is probably clear by now, Henry was a petty bitch, and so he made sure that when Thomas went down, he wasn’t going alone.

On the 29 June 1540 Thomas Cromwell was beheaded for treason and his mate, Walter Hungerford, became the first person to be executed under The Buggery Act (among other allegations).

A bloody punishment, with the Buggery Act added as an extra dollop of humiliation for Hungerford and as an additional middle finger to Cromwell who’d helped create the act.*

*side note: before we start feeling really sorry for Walter Hungerford, he was an abusive man who imprisoned his wife to the extent she had to drink her own urine to survive. So you know. Maybe hold the sympathy cards.

Henry VIII

Thomas Cromwell

Ok, that was A LOT to take in. So let’s pause and take a quick moment to look at where we are:

We have a law that was created to criminalise homosexuality BUT was actually used to screw over the Catholic Church

We have a first victim of the law…BUT he was most likely executed not because of the law itself but as an F U to his mate who created the law.

So, we can all agree that thus far, The Buggery Act is a very bloody farce. But that does that mean it’s done?

OF COURSE NOT!

Though the law was repealed by Henry VIII’s daughter, Queen Mary I in 1553 (who wanted power over this to go back to the Catholic Church and it’s ecclesiastic courts), once she died, her successor and sister, Queen Elizabeth I made the Buggery Act law once more.

And from there it started to truly transform into a law for persecution.

Using a Latrice Royale gif to cut the tension, but just a warning: It’s about to get really dark for a bit.

For much of the 15th and 16th centuries arrests and executions under the Buggery Act were few and far between. However, that didn’t happen stop this horrifying law from spreading.

One of the huge issues of The Buggery Act being a law, was that Britons leaving the country took it with them. Take for example those plucky puritans who set sail for the brave new world of America – alongside terrible hats and a smattering of racism, they made sure to also pack legal persecution!

And so the legal execution of people for homosexuality began in a new country. In 1624, Virginia hung Richard Cornish, a ships captain, for ‘forcible sodomy’ of his ships 29 year old cabin boy.

Two years later, Massachusetts hung William Plain on allegations of sodomy that took place in England (so before he even moved to America!).

That same year, the countries New Netherlands colony successfully managed to achieve the discrimination trifecta when they used the Buggery Act to strangle and ‘burn to ashes’, Jan Creoli, a poor black gay man.

If you thought things were bad, they are about to get even worse.

Back in Britain, a more vocal queer community was starting to appear, thanks to the underground popularity of Molly Houses (places where queer men could be free to openly show their sexuality, kind of the great great great grandfather of the small town gay bar). But this emerging light in the dark attracted the worst kind of people and they dedicated themselves to eradicating what they saw as the gay scourge.

One such group was the catchily named, The Society For The Reformation of Manners. Determined to rid London of its LGBT subculture, they worked undercover to infiltrate Molly Houses, gather evidence against its users and then together with the police, raid them.

One such raid was that of Mother Claps house in 1726. Dozens of men were rounded up and arrested, with several fined and pilloried. But that’s not the worst of it.

The Society For The Reformation of Manners successfully helped to leverage the Buggery Act to hang three of the arrested men for the crime of having sex, or as one witness spat out during the trial:

‘Making love to one another as they call’d it’

Example of an execution, like that of the Mother Clap House victims. from the era

During the 1800’s the executions continued. Trials for men accused under The Buggery Act sprung up across England. Some of those found guilty had the relative luck (though the chance of survival still wasn’t great) at instead being transported to Australia, but others weren’t so lucky.

The last men executed under The Buggery Act were James Pratt and John Smith, in 1835.

A husband and father, James Pratt, met with John Smith in August 1935, at an ale house in London for a drink. The pair then got chatting with an older man, William Bonill and went back to his rooms.

William Bonill soon left to get another drink at the pub, leaving James and John alone. It was after this that Bonill’s landlord reported finding the pair having sex.

Neither James Pratt or John Smith stood a chance in court. If you are in any doubt on that front, just read the opening transcript from John Smith’s prosecutor.

‘feloniously, wickedly, diabolically, and against the order of nature, had a venereal affair with one James Pratt, and did then and there, feloniously, wickedly, diabolically, and agains the order of nature, carnally know the said James Pratt, and with him the said James Pratt did then and there feloniously, wickedly, diabolically, and against the order of nature, commit and perpetrate the detestale, horrid, and abominable crime (among Christians not to be named) called buggery, to the great displeasure of Almighty God, to the great scandal of all human kind’

Charles Dickens actually attended Newgate jail, when the men were awaiting sentencing and recalled:

‘Their doom was sealed; no plea could be urged in extenuation of their crime, and they well knew that for them there was no hope in this world.’

He was, of course, right. Of seventeen others sentenced to death at the same time as John and James (for crimes including attempted murder) all had their sentences commuted to transportation to Australia. All expect John Smith and James Pratt.

A huge crowd gathered outside Newgate Jail to watch their deaths.

Watching his (possible) partner, John Smith, being blindfolded and his noose put on, caused James Pratt an understandable level of anguish. He reportedly went physically weak, needing help just to stand and calling out:

‘Oh God, this is horrible. This is indeed horrible.’

Though we don’t have clean cut evidence that the two were in a relationship, it’s hard to read this as anything other than love and the devastation of James knowing what his partner was about to go through.

Which I think summarises the pointlessness and brutality the Buggery Act had on all those who feel under its wake. Of it’s last two victims; two men who just wanted a private moment to be together and died because of that.

Newspaper from the hanging of James Pratt and John Smith

The Buggery Act remained in place in one form or another until 1861 when the Offences Against The Person Act replaced it.

The new law abolished the death sentence for ‘buggery’, instead punishing those convicted with a prison sentence of up to life. In 1967 the laws around homosexuality as an illegal act were dropped.

All of this, because in 1533 a pissed of King set up a law that he hoped would bring down a religion – the persecution of thousands if not millions, was just secondary.

If you want to read up more on this and other areas of LGBT+ history (and please do!) some great sources are below:

Rictor Norton, for a treasure trove of articles and essays on the history of LGBTQ+ history in England dating back to the medieval era.

The Peter Tatchall Foundation, a human rights charity with an amazing section of history of laws that sought to persecute

The British Library, where you can look at so many of the original documents I mention in this, digitally wherever you are in the world!

Why you have to know about the 1533 Buggery Act OK I know what you’re thinking. Why is the 1533 Buggery Act such a big deal! After all, it’s a piece of Tudor law:

#featured #LGBT #LGBTQ #tudor

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saportuh · 6 years ago

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ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician.

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf”

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for.

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME”

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY,

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow.

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

#finally posting it lmao #81218 #long post -

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miaswetnambcu · 4 years ago

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Interviews

For my final piece, I want to create illustrations based on the colour perceptions of people with varying ages and backgrounds. I interviewed six people with ages ranging from 12 to 75 years old.

The interview was conducted using two sections. I chose eight colours, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black and white. In the first section of the interview, I told the person that I was going to say a colour and that they could say up to five things that popped into their head. I did this in order to get their instincts about the colour and so that they would not have a chance to think and distort their answers. The section section was an elaboration of the first section. I asked the specific shade they pictured of the colour, and then asked them to explain the words they said in the first section.

BLUE - First section

The most consistent word for blue in the first section of the interview was the word ‘sad’. The second were either ‘sky’ or ‘ocean’/’sea’. Other words mentioned were ‘happy’, ‘powerful’, ‘rain’, ‘favourite’ and ‘calm’.

BLUE - Second section

When asked to elaborate on why people felt the colour blue was associated with being ‘sad’, every person answered that when you are sad you are known to be ‘feeling blue’. Another answer was that it reminded someone of Blue Monday in January, which is thought of to be the saddest day of the year.

When questioned about the sea, there was more variety in answers. For example, one person said that the ocean made them feel powerful, not sad, as it can create big powerful waves and can do a lot of damage. In contrast, another person said that it reminded them of when they used to draw the ocean as a child and they would colour the whole section in blue.

‘Calm’ and ‘happy’ were two other words mentioned. When asked to elaborate, one person said that the sounds of the ocean makes them feel calm and content, whilst another person said that the sea makes them think of the beach, which makes them feel happy.

When asked why one person said the word ‘favourite’ their response was that it was their favourite colour. They used a light blue for their bridesmaids dresses at their wedding, so it makes them think of happy and positive memories.

The most consistent shade of blue mentioned was a simple ‘light blue’, with only one person saying that they pictured ‘navy blue’ when they think of the colour.

RED - First section

The word ‘anger’ was the most consistent for the colour red. Other words mentioned were ‘confident’, ‘devil’, ‘volcanoes’, ‘love’ and ‘passion’.

RED - Second section

I asked each person who said the word ‘anger’ to elaborate on why they said it. Consistently, each person said that its the stereotypical ‘going red with anger’. One person said that when they are angry, all they see is red. Another said that they picture red cartoon characters from when they were a child with steam blowing out of their ears.

Although only one person said the word ‘volcanoes’, when asking to elaborate on ‘anger’, some people said words that related to it. For example, one person said they picture red and chaotic, fiery and explosive, which link in with the theme of a volcano. Another person said that they feel like the colour red it hot, again linking with the volcano with the heat from the lava.

The word ‘devil’ was mentioned a few times. This came from the stereotypical look of the devil being bright red, as well as hell, the place the devil lives, being red and filled with fire.

‘Confident’ was another prominent word in the interviews. Multiple people said that it makes a person stand out from a crowd and that when they are wearing the colour, they feel confident and sexy in themselves.

Most people said the shade of red they pictured was a bright crimson red, linking to the anger they associated with it. Another shade two people mentioned were a dark red, like burgundy, which was more to do with the devil and confidence.

YELLOW - First section

The most prominent words with the colour yellow were ‘happy’ and ‘sun’. Other words mentioned were ‘flowers’, ‘Coldplay’, ‘spring’ and ‘daffodils’.

YELLOW - Second section

When asked to elaborate on why most people said ‘happy’ when thinking of yellow, they said that it reminded them of good times with friends in the summer. Also, that it was a light and easy-going colour and made them think of graphic smiley faces, which tend to be yellow in colour.

One person said that the colour yellow makes them think of an old film montage of summer parties and festivals with friends. Two others said that when they thought of the sun, it made them think of the baby in the sun from the TV show the Teletubbies.

I asked how yellow made one person think of spring, to which they replied that they thought of the daffodils they purchased every Easter, as well as Easter eggs and the small fake chicks that are used for decorations.

When asked why the colour yellow made them think of the band Coldplay, the person said that they immediately thought of their song which is named after the colour. They said that they had good memories of it, even though it seems to be more of a sad and slow-paced song.

Every person said that they pictured a bright yellow, which would replicate the colour of the sun and the colour of the smiley face graphics.

ORANGE - First section

Words used to describe the colour orange were ‘bright’, ‘young’ and ‘fruit’. Two people said that they could not think of any words to describe orange.

ORANGE - Second section

All of the interviewees said that the colour orange does not make them think or feel anything. There seemed to be no reasoning behind the words that they had said in the first section, if they said any at all.

When asked to elaborate on what they thought about the colour orange, no person had an explanation as to why they thought it was ‘young’ or ‘bright’, other than the colour simply being those things.

The interviewees could describe why they said the word ‘fruit’, as orange is the name of a fruit as well as a colour.

No person could name a specific shade of orange, and simply said just a standard shade of orange.

GREEN - First section

The most prominent words used to describe the colour green were ‘nature’ and ‘grass’. Other words mentioned were ‘camping’, ‘positive’, ‘happy’ and ‘football pitch’.

GREEN - Second section

Every person said the word ‘nature’ when asked to describe the colour green. They each said that they either pictured a forest or fields filled with grass, both of which would be predominantly green in colour.

When asked why it was a ‘positive’ colour, one person answered that it is usually used to symbolise ‘go’. For example, on traffic lights, or when a question is answered right it tends to go green.

I asked one person why they thought it was a happy colour. They responded that the colour just made them feel happy and that it was a different kind of happiness than yellow, more like a content happiness.

‘Football pitch’ was another phrase mentioned in the first section. The person said that the colour green reminded them of football pitches and those reminded them of going to watch football games when they were younger.

PURPLE - First section

Many contrasting words were used to describe the colour purple, ranging from ‘luxurious’ to ‘illness’. Some of the other words used to describe it were ‘fancy’, ‘nervous’, ‘sleep’, ‘calm’, ‘Barney’, ‘magic’ and ‘mysterious’.

PURPLE - Second section

As shown in the first section, every person seemed to have an entirely different perception of the colour purple. Starting with the words ‘luxurious’ and ‘fancy’, the person said that they felt as though purple signified elegance. They thought of people wearing fancy purple dresses at important events such as the Oscars.

In contrast, another person thought the colour represented ‘illness’. This person has been brought up in the Catholic faith. In the Catholic church, purple is worn during Advent and Lent and is meant to reflect sorrow and suffering. During the season of Lent, Jesus is sacrificed and nailed to the cross. This may be why the person thought of purple as illness and sadness, as it is associated in this way in the Catholic church.

Another person said that the colour purple makes them feel quite nervous. This person wears purple as their school uniform, so they said this may be why they felt nervous thinking of the colour. Also, they said it reminded them of the character ‘Fear’ from the film Inside Out, as it is a purple character who represents fear and nervousness throughout the film.

The next person said that the colour made them feel ‘calm’. They associated it with their bed and going to sleep. They reasoned that this may be because they use a lavender sleep spray to help them sleep, and as the colour of the lavender plant is a blue-purple colour, that may be the reason as to why.

One person said that the colour reminded them of things from their childhood. Their examples were the medicine Calpol, which came in a purple bottle, and Barney The Dinosaur, which was a purple-coloured character on a children’s TV show.

The last person said that it reminded them of ‘magic’. They said that they associated it with witches, who stereotypically dress in purple. They also said that they thought of the Harry Potter films, in which a character named Dumbledore has a cloak with purple running through it.

WHITE - First section

When asked about the colour white, many people said the words ‘innocent’ and ‘weddings’. Other words stated were ‘angels’, ‘clouds’, ‘clean’ and ‘pure’.

WHITE - Second section

I asked the interviewees to elaborate on why they thought the colour white was ‘innocent’. Most said that it white shows purity, such as in Christianity, as well as a white dress used for a bride to show their purity. One person said that white is innocent as it makes them think of angels with pure white wings.

Leading on from the angels, one person said that they thought of the angel Cupid, who is said to use a bow and arrows to strike people to fall in love.

One person said that they thought about clouds. They stated that when they were younger, they wanted to touch the clouds to see how they felt, whether they would be soft or if their hand would go right through it.

Two people stated that it was a fragile colour. They both said that it was very easy to get dirty or to even destroy the colour, as it is so pure.

BLACK - First section

The colour black was described as a ‘confident’ colour. Other things mentioned were ‘night’, ‘soul’, ‘oblivion’, ‘sad’ and ‘funeral’.

BLACK - Second section

The most prominent thing associated with black was funerals, whether that be due to the grey of the gravestones or people wearing black to mourn the dead at funerals. Sadness was associated with black as well, which may be due to the funerals and the sadness surrounding these occasions.

‘Confidence’ was another prominent word in the interviews. According to the interviewees, when they are wearing black, it makes them feels confident but comfortable at the same time. It is a different type of confidence to red, as red was associated with standing out confidence. Black was seen as them feeling confident in themselves rather than confident towards other people.

One person said that it reminded them of looking up at the pitch black sky with tiny stars littering it al around. Another said it reminds them of the nighttime walks that they take to calm themselves down.

‘Oblivion’ was mentioned by one person. They said that oblivion is a big black hole and is simply a hole of nothingness, therefore, it made them feel quite empty and hollow.

NEXT STEPS

By conducting these interviews, I have found the many different and similar perceptions that people have surrounding colours. The main points said within each colour is what I will use to create my illustrations which will capture the diverse opinions within these interviews.

Through my interviews, I decided that I would cut out the colour orange from my final piece. Most of the interviewees did not have any perception on the colour orange and seemed to be trying to think of anything random in order to give an answer. Therefore, I did not want to include a colour that did not have many things to base it on, also that may be inaccurate.

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avcngrs · 7 years ago

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I want to share my life story. It would mean the world to me if you read this all the way through. ♥

Dear friends,

Some people have been asking if I’m returning to tumblr and well... not exactly.

I’m actually considering deleting my tumblr. I’ve definitely moved on and realized that tumblr only worsened my depression and kept me locked up in a world on a laptop. And yes, I made amazing friends on here who helped me through some hard times. However, they’ve all changed usernames and I can’t even find them. The insane amount of hours I’ve spent on this website scares me. I left tumblr about a year ago kind of suddenly and I want everyone to know that I’m okay, maybe even better than okay. It’s been a long, hard road with medical issues and anxiety and although tumblr was an escape for a while, it left me more and more broken.

To those who have been on tumblr for years like I have, with friends and a well-established blog, this website is not where you’ll find happiness. This might sound controversial, but hear me out. Staying locked in your room away from your family and real-life friends is not healthy. Human connection is what we long for, and it can’t be found behind a computer screen.

During Junior High, I found tumblr and bad friends who led me down a path of destruction. Tumblr led me into having a bad swearing problem, which I completely regret and still struggle with. Looking back on this website, I see a waste of time and a dark phase of my life. There is so much more to life then spending hours of your life photoshopping Captain America for a blog.

If you’re depressed or suicidal relying on tumblr, I understand. If you’ve read this far I want you to keep reading, and I want to explain everything to my followers on here. Why I created this blog in 2014, what I struggled with, and I want to give you hope of how far I’ve come in my life. From almost committing suicide, I’m currently someone who has a life-threatening lung disease but has found complete joy and peace after YEARS of depression, anxiety and panic attacks. And the truth is, you can find joy and peace and love too. Please keep reading, and I pray my story of hope will encourage you. I’m terrified to post this on the internet, but if it helps one person, it’s worth it.

This is my story.

In 2014, I was in eighth grade. Like most Junior Highers, I had low self-esteem which leads to depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm. This is around the time I created my tumblr. Staying up on tumblr until 3 am, I talked to strangers about my deepest darkest fears. How I felt bullied on my cheer team for not feeling skinny enough or good enough at the stunts. How my mother had become an alcoholic and now I was the adult in the household. My dad worked out of town, and I was stuck dealing with it. Being called a bitch by my mother. Walking out in the morning to see a half drunk wine glass and knowing she got wasted last night, not caring how much it hurt me. To see someone I used to respect turn to a completely different person. I still believe my mother has a bipolar personality issue but she still refuses professional help. Basically, Junior High is when everything changed and an innocent, Jesus-loving 6th grader turned into someone I look back to and see a monster. I’m scared of who I became. I was friends with people who were also lost, suicidal, and obsessed with fictional characters.

When high school started, I thought everything would be better. I’d make new friends, and things would just be perfect; high school is supposed to be the best 4 years of your life, right? Boy, was I wrong.

Yes, I started making new friends but I still had my insecurities. New people had come into my class who were prettier than me, smarter than me, and better artists. My self-esteem weakened even more, and I clung to tumblr as a “happy place.” I reached a 2,000 follower goal, was winning awards, starting my own networks, and I felt “cool” here, as a faceless blogger who could spill my problems to strangers who assured me “everything would be okay.”

Yet something happened my Freshmen year that caused me to lose my faith in humanity even more. The Tuesday after Thanksgiving break, I remember both my parents coming into my room, my mom crying and my dad looking like he was about to. I had just sat down on the floor with my backpack, pulling out my science book for homework. But I stopped in my tracks thinking, “What did I do? What did I do that would make my mom cry? Did they find my tumblr?”

It was much worse. My mom sat on my bed and said, “Molly’s been murdered.”

Molly was my nineteen-year-old cousin who lived in LA (Los Angeles) and had started with weed then graduated to cocaine and meth. My aunt tried everything. Expensive rehab in Missouri multiple times, but nothing worked. She ran away from home and started living on friends’ couches, only caring about the next high. This is someone I grew up with, who I watched choose the wrong path. That path of drugs led to her being shot in the head without motive. She was in a garage of about 12 people, sitting on a couch and chilling and someone she knew pulled out a 9mm and shot her in the head. He proceeded to put her in a trunk of a car and leave her there, the day before Thanksgiving (I believe. I might have the dates wrong. This whole period of my life is a blur). The cops only found her body because someone called in an abandoned car notice. The detectives showed up at my aunts house at 2 am that Tuesday and gave the news.

A week before I had spent Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle and my uncle had sent a message to Molly on Thanksgiving day on Facebook, saying how much we loved her and wanted her to come home.

She was already dead when he sent the message.

We expected something to happen to her, maybe an OD. But never this. My cousin’s murder broke a piece of my heart that will always stay broken. I’ll never understand why people could murder someone. (The investigation has been finished and they determined it was a homicide.) I could barely make it through a school day after that without crying. I lost what little faith in God I had left. (I go to a Christian school, grew up in the church, and was expected to be the angel child.) But after Molly’s murder, I changed.

My cussing problem got worse, and cutting myself. I have stretch marks on my thighs, so I would cut there so no one would notice the scars. And to this day, no one has.

I struggled with my emotions over the next couple months of Freshmen year, even writing an essay about Molly for one of my English assignments. In her memory, I want to tell you people to never do drugs whether they’re legal or not. Weed is a gateway drug to crystal meth and cocaine, and then getting shot in the head and thrown into the back of a car. It ruins your body and your life. My cousin grew up in a Catholic church but lost her way trying to fit in at high school and finding “friends” who gave her drugs to be “cool”. Drugs are not cool, and lead to destruction and pain and digging a hole that’s really hard to climb out of.

But I started to move on and accept what had happened. I still miss her, and wish I could talk with her one last time.

A few months later, good news came in January.

A little background info: I was born with heart issues and had my first surgery at 4 days old and open heart surgery at 3. I have huge surgery scars, but other than that you would’ve thought I was a normal kid growing up... except I could never play sports. I love love love love soccer, but my cardiologist never let me play competitively. However, when Freshmen spring soccer sign ups came around I was brave enough to ask, “Can I play?”

After a thorough check-up, he said yes.

I was OVERJOYED. This was something I never believed would happen and I was so excited to buy cleats and shin guards and get on the field and be an awesome defender.

Until my first practice.

I realized I couldn’t run. Not even one lap around the track. To this day, I’ve never run a mile. This amazing girl on my team named Emily (sweetest girl I’ve ever met) came up beside me and tried to help me learn to run. But I couldn’t breathe. I was out of breath almost instantly. I blamed my heart issues but as soccer season went on, I realized it was more than that.

I got a little playing time but I was mainly a bench warmer. I didn’t really mind. I loved the practices and pushing my body, even if I couldn’t do as much as everyone else. Some of the older girls bullied me in a way that they would scream at me whenever I did something wrong. And though I don’t use this word often, there was this one Senior who was a bitch. Even at our good Christian school. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bad-mouthing my school. It is filled with Jesus-loving people who inspire me every day, but this one chick... she needed some Jesus. A lot of the time after practices I would hold in my emotions then start crying in the car as soon as my mom picked me up. I wanted to prove to everyone I WAS strong and good at sports and it wasn’t my fault I could breathe.

Easter break we ended up going back to the cardiologists to talk about my issues in soccer. And so, he performed an echocardiogram, (which is similar to the sonogram they do for pregnancies, but for your heart) which is normal. But then he came back and did it again and again and again. About the fourth time, my mom and I looked at each other and said, “Something’s wrong.”

That day I was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension.

My life will never be the same.

In short, pulmonary arterial hypertension (PaH) is a lung disease with high pressure in the arteries around your heart. Normally when you exercise your arteries expand to let the blood flow easier from the heart and lungs. Mine don’t expand and the pressures grow on the right side of the heart which could lead to heart failure. It feels like asthma but it was way more serious. I was just fifteen, and being told I was going to die before 30.

My emotional state was shattered. I went to specialists in San Francisco and they started medication that made me feel like sh*t. I got headaches so bad I couldn’t move, and I was nauseous for hours at night but was never able to throw up. There were a lot of nights I slept on the bathroom floor. And I usually kept my issues to myself, bottling my emotions about my disease. Did I mention I started said medications a week before my first high school finals? Somehow I persevered and got all A’s on my finals. But through all this, I got angrier at God. I relied on friends, tumblr and fanfiction and TV shows for happiness. And they failed me.

I got more and more depressed, thinking and wondering how could anyone love a faliure like me? A loser who couldn’t even breathe right. I had always been a good student but with the medications Sophomore year was a nightmare. Everything was being taken away from me: my health, my body, my mind. And I couldn’t help crying out, “God, why me?”

Right before Sophomore year, I was faced with starting a new medication. One form of it was administered in a pump similar to a diabetic pump, except you keep it on 24/7. Showering would be a pain, and I couldn’t go swimming. I refused to try it. I didn’t care how bad my disease was. I was terrified of having something attached to me.

The second option was these trial pills. I would take them three times a day, 7, 3, and 10:30. So, in August 2016, I started these meds.

The side effects were horrible and torturous.

I was constantly nauseous and flushed, and could barely make it through a school day. I don’t even remember much of Sophomore year. I think my brain blocks it out. My anxiety got worse and worse and I begged my parents for a dog, a friend to help with the stress.

Like I said, I don’t remember much of Sophomore year, except for some happy parts like going to country concerts and being a cheer captain. I had an amazing “squad” of friends who stuck by me no matter what and still surprise me with Starbucks on my doorstep on bad days.

Six months passed, and we headed back to the San Francisco specialists to find out if my medications were working and if all the pain and misery and torture of the last couple months was worth it.

I had a heart cath, (which is where they put a camera through an artery in your thigh and send it to the heart to read the pressures in your lungs), and awaited the news.

Things had gotten worse.

The medication wasn’t working.

For a third time in a year, I was shattered. Would things ever get better for me? To top it off, this meant I needed to start the pump medication.

I remember asking my dad to take a friend and I to go swimming at a nearby lake. My friend actually has no idea, but that was the last time I’ve gone swimming or worn a bikini up to this day.

July 2017 I said goodbye to the life I’d known, and was admitted to the hospital for a week to be transferred to the pump. When they place the site (where the medicine is administered through a little tiny needle thing) it’s extremely painful. With my pump, you don’t change the site every 3 days like a diabetic pump. You change it when the site goes bad and you put a new one in, which gets super painful and swollen before it gets better. When I say painful, I mean I almost needed morphine once.

People always say “It’s God’s plan,” and “things will get better.” I wanted to punch those people in the face. Because I had been waiting for things to get better for a long time, and things always got worse.

Plus, for the shower I need to take them quick and cover up my site with plastic, gauze and waterproof tape. I can’t go swimming or take a bath. During the day, I usually hide my pump in my bra or jean pocket.

Even so, before Junior year I had full on panic attacks about people knowing about my pump. I found ways to completely hide it but I was still so terrified of people finding out and judging me. I don’t know what they would do, but I was so scared of being different. Not fitting in. I had to be careful about what I wore, to make sure I could hide it completely. And only a few select people knew what was really going on. Even so, I think only one person really knew about how bad my depression was getting.

Some fun things did happen last August though. My dream of going to London was granted by Make-A-Wish! As an avid Sherlock and Harry Potter fan, I was ecstatic. I spent 10 days in the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen with my mom, dad, and my aunt. I think I took over 3,000 photos on the trip. It was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever been blessed to have. A limo came and picked me up at my house and we arrived at the airport to fly “across the pond” and into a dream. Make-A-Wish is such an incredible organization because they do dream trips and wishes, and while I was in London, I didn’t feel “sick.” I actually felt fantastic, walking 20,000 steps a day, way ahead of my parents. I went on Sherlock and Harry Potter tours, and I might make a separate post about this trip if people ask. But basically, it was seriously a dream come true.

When I got home, I actually ended up adopting a border collie named Blaze, who has become my best friend. I’m still training him to be my service dog and an emotional support animal for others. He is an absolute sweetheart. He’s helped my anxiety by an enormous amount.

Regardless, I still had my fears of starting Junior Year.

The dreaded day came and I started going back to school. It was better than I thought, and I was ahead in my classes. I was brave enough to take two APs and an Honors class. I was taking my math online, and everything was going surprisingly well. No one knew about the pump.

Then I had my first site change.

I missed a week of school and got terribly behind. A week doesn’t seem like much, but it really took a toll. I got really discouraged, as my depression was still suffocating me. I didn’t do things with friends and stayed holed up. Walking my dog in the fall mornings was my favorite thing. Blaze is still one of the centers of my life and is my little sunshine.

But I started failing AP tests, and I wanted to drop the hard classes. Suicidal thoughts crept into my mind, ripping what little happiness I had away. I was scared. Not of suicide itself, but of the fact I was so close to doing it. I was scared of myself. How much I’d lost control of my body and mind. But I was scared to leave Blaze behind. That was one of the few things that kept me holding on.

One day my AP Chem teacher pulled me aside and asked what’s wrong. I told him I was tired and the usual excuses. He was one of the few teachers who knew what was going on though, medically. He asked if I had prayed about it. I said God and I weren’t really on talking terms.

And it’s true. Through all the trials I’d gone through I started to hate God. I always saw hypocrisy in Christians I knew, and didn’t really know what a real relationship with God looked like, I just knew I didn’t want one.

It was the last week of Septemeber when I really broke. I had to leave early because I was feeling sick, again, and signed out to go home. But I was so done with feeling like sh*t and not being able to make it through a school day. On the drive home I lost it.

I was crying and was a complete mess. The whole drive home the only thing I could think of was driving my car off the road and into a tree and hoping it killed me.

Somehow, I made it home that day. And the next, and the next. I was just surviving at this point, not living. I was hopeless. I didn’t believe this medication would work because it didn’t last time. I tried to focus on school and redeem my grades, practically the last thing I had control of.

A few of my teachers also kept me from going off the deep end. I had failed two AP US History (APUSH) tests and my teacher pulled me aside and said, “You’re a better student than that.” He erased the tests and gave me a second chance. I started working my ass off in that class, and now I average 95 on his tests. But without that second chance, I would’ve quit and never proved to myself I could do it.

Said Chemistry teacher was also someone who kept me from not committing suicide. He’s a very inspiring person and an absolute science genius who had gone through a life and death experience like I was going through then and now. He ended up finding God through that experience and is still alive today, teaching and preaching to my AP class. He had written a book for his kids when they grew up because he thought he was going to die. His book talks about God in a C.S. Lewis sort of story. He gave me a copy and told me to read it.

So right after my mental breakdown of driving home and almost attempting suicide, I started reading.

Please know I was scared of death on a day to day basis. When you have a terminal condition, your mind is constantly set on “deep mode”, experiencing the kind of thoughts people usually think of at 3 am, but all the time. Becuase I knew I was going to die, but I thought I was going to hell because there’s no way I deserved heaven. But I started reading this book and well...

For a fantasy book, it talks about death a lot. (Like I said, my teacher/friend wrote this when he thought he was going to die.)

“...it’s our consciousness - our ability to know we are alive - that sets us apart from the rest of creation -- a creation largely blind to its own existence... Unfortunately, however, because we have the ability to think and experience life, we are also capable of anticipating our deaths - an uncomfortable conundrum to say the least.”

This is one example of how the book addresses death, and for a suicidal person, it’s a lot to swallow. But that’s not the part that caught me.

October 4th 2017, my life was changed.

Now, I know the Bible. I’ve grown up in the same Christian school for 12 years. But I’d never truly learned to put 100% faith and trust in the Creator of the Universe.

But there were a lot of things pointing me in that direction. Nudging me back into the safety of God’s arms. But Chapter 16 of my friend’s book was the final straw.

It reads...

“What I mean is that because we can think, we all know we’re going to die, and this fact in itself robs us of much of the joy and peace we would otherwise have if our fate had been kept from us. ... There is another option, however. ... We can choose to make the most difficult choice anyone can make. ... We can choose to trust the Creator.”

The night I read that, I got on my knees. I opened a very dusty Bible and found Jesus. I remember calling out and crying “I’m sorry” and “I’m sorry” over and over. I was someone who didn’t deserve a second chance after what I’ve done. I can’t magnify in words how far away I was from Christianity and how much I never thought I’d love God again.

But that night, I felt his unwavering, unfailing forgiveness. I asked for peace, and I was given peace for the first time. Complete and utter peace. It’s different than relief. It’s knowing that everything is in God’s hands and nothing I do can change his love. My anxiety and panic have left. I was redeemed through grace and blood poured out on the cross. Jesus had planted the tree that would become the cross. His love was stronger than my broken heart.

GOD TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME SO HE COULD RESTORE MY SOUL FROM THE INSIDE OUT. I HAD NOTHING LEFT WHEN LOVE CAME DOWN AND RESCUED ME.

Since that day, I’ve woken up on my knees, thanking him for my pulmonary hypertension. God grabbed my stubborn self by the shoulders and shoved me to my knees. And I praise Him for that. I haven’t had suicidal thoughts since, and have barely looked back. My life has been completely turned around.

He’s shown me needs in my community and through His provision they’ve been fulfilled.

Some things that I’ve accomplished since coming back to God:

I was Junior Princess. (Something I never thought I’d win.)

I organized a clothes drive for victims of the Santa Rosa fire in Sonoma County. (They still need prayers!)

I’ve raised money for different needs in my community, with bake sales and BBQs.

I hiked Diamond Head in Oahu, Hawaii on Christmas Day 2017. Correction: I practically ran up it. Take that, PH.

I learned how to play the ukelele, and play it whenever I need a smile and want to praise my Savior with worship songs.

I’ve made new friends who encourage me in my walk with God, not take me away from Him.

And in January, I got some amazing news.

You know my pump medication? The one I thought wouldn’t work? I had a heart cath January 27th and they’ve never seen this medication work as well as it is for me. Another miracle I don’t deserve and will always praise God for. And I’m supposed to live way past thirty. And, my doctors think I’ll be able to do sports next year. :)

Basically, I want this story to inspire you to never, never, NEVER give up. What I’ve accomplished is through Jesus, not myself. I would be nothing without Him.

There’s been really hard days, and there will still be some for the rest of my life. But if I can save just one person by sharing my story of going from suicidal to joyful, everything I have suffered through will become worth it.

I’m planning to go to college, with God guiding me. Maybe starting a church or buying a house where I go to open up as a safe, Christian place for those who need it. I want to publish a devotional book before I graduate from high school. And God had blessed me with more years on this earth than I ever thought I would have. I wake up every day on my knees because I never expected another day. I never deserved another day, yet Jesus loves me enough to give me a life full of love and hope. I’ve dedicated my life to Him through complete trust, and every second seems more beautiful. To sprint as fast as I can, feeling like my lungs are on fire and praising God because I should never have been able to run or breathe. To watch the sunset bleed across an endless horizon to the sound of rustling palm trees and waves lapping the shore.

To believe that you’re going to die, then you don’t.

This world is not perfect, but it is the most beautiful place I have ever seen. And somehow, thinking I was going to die made it so much sweeter. I can sit at a stoplight, feel warm sunlight on my face through the windshield and be overwhelmed with inexpressible joy. My whole face breaks out with a smile, and the guy parked next to me probably thinks I’m insane. Some people look at the earth and say, “there's nothing good here, look at all this pain.”

Open your eyes. ♥

If you’ll allow me, I want to end with a verse.

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint because the love of God had been poured in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:1-5

I will be keeping my tumblr up for a little while if you want to talk to me. I also really recommend this devotional about finding your way back to God. I love you all, and a special thank you to those on this website who were there for me when no one else was. If you reblog this, it would bless me so much. Thank you.

God bless you all.

Sincerely,

Kris

#about me #personal #life story #please read

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whatisonthemoonarchive · 6 years ago

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'Just as the conviction about Jesuits controlling the world deserves our consideration periodically, theories still have to be proven.' Frank F

Glad you asked for proof. According to a frequent contributor of this blog:

'I can just hear them say, “Well, Moon stopped Communism”. What utter, complete bullshit. Moon was just as likely to collaborate with Communists as he was with fascists. The way to stop Communism is simply stop financing it. The history of International finance and Communism is an important study in itself. One that is totally absent from most school history books for obvious reasons.' Frank F

Yes, quite right.

Who financed communism? The people who financed communism are the same ones who financed Hitler. Many historians and researchers have proven that the true originators of communism were not Marx, Lenin and Stalin. Nor, was the true originator of Nazism, Hitler. Research has shown that the people behind Marx Lenin and Stalin are the same ones who control Wall Street and the privately and foreign owned Federal Reserve Banking system. These are the culprits behind the world's wars and unrest:

'In 1915, the American International Corporation was formed in New York. Its principal goal was the coordination of aid, particularly financial assistance, to the Bolsheviks which had previously been provided by [Jacob] Schiff and other bankers on an informal basis. The new firm was funded by J.P. Morgan, the Rockefellers, and the National City Bank. Chairman of the Board was Frank Vanderlip, former president of National City [and McKinley assassination co conspirator -fwf,] and member of the Jekyll Island group which wrote the Federal Reserve Act in 1910…* No one would seriously believe that bankers of this magnitude would finance an "anti -capitalist" revolution for the Communists, yet this is exactly what happened. These same men financed Woodrow Wilson's political campaigns, and it was these same men to whom Wilson referred in his opening address to the Paris Peace Conference, when he said,

"... There are men in the United States of the finest temper who are in sympathy with Bolshevism because it appears to them to offer that regime of opportunity to the individual which they desire to bring about." (The Great Conspiracy Against Russia, Seghers and Kahn.)

The men of "the finest temper", to whom Wilson referred, the Morgans and the Rockefellers, did not really desire opportunity for the individual; what they desired was of slavery under the World Order, and this is the goal which they continue to strive to achieve, on a world wide basis.' From THE WORLD ORDER Our Secret Rulers by Eustace Mullins

The Federal Reserve Banking system is part of a larger worldwide privately owned central banking system which forces sovereign nations to borrow their own national currency from privately and foreign owned central banks at interest, instead of printing their own money as would be proper. Who controls this worldwide privately owned central banking system? The Vatican Jesuits* (with the aid of the Rothschilds who hold the title of 'Vatican Treasurer):

Karen Hudes former World Bank employee exposes Vatican and Jesuits https://youtu.be/9uIzhDDBFV8?t=110

Network of Global Corporate Control Jesuits https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtYdQamXyMM

World banker Karen Hudes: Banking control under the Jesuit Order https://youtu.be/Weu6pgQ4E8Y?t=2707

Karen Hudes, Former World Bank Senior Legal Counsel-Turned-Whistleblower exposes Jesuit control November 5, 2013 by Jerry Robinson, FTMDaily.com Editor-in-Chief

Editor’s Note: Karen Hudes has quite a story to tell. As the former senior legal counsel at the World Bank, Karen claims to have witnessed — and documented — immense levels of financial and political corruption. Recently, Karen Hudes contacted our office with a large number of documents exposing corruption within her former employer, the World Bank. In a world dominated by a handful of powerful families and corporations, I believe we need more people like Karen who will take a risk to spread the truth. I recently sat down with Karen and asked her to share her story about the corruption she witnessed firsthand during her employment at the World Bank.

Jerry Robinson: Karen, you are a former senior legal counselor at the World Bank, which is an institution that was created by the Bretton Woods Arrangement back in 1944. The World Bank’s official mission is to “help eradicate poverty,” but you claim you saw corruption. What exactly did you witness at the World Bank? ….who actually profits from the corruption and money laundering?

KH: If you look at Goldman Sachs, CitiGroup, Bank of America, or Wells Fargo, these are all one entity because their boards are all interlocking. This group is in control of the Federal Reserve system, and of the central banks of the 58 countries that belong to Bank for International Settlements. These [central banks] are not government entities, they are private entities. This group thinks it sits above the law, and that’s why we never truly know what’s going on because this group has bought up control of the press and is bound and determined not to let the citizens of these countries know what is going on.

JR: Very interesting. Now this group of people, this cabal that you are speaking of, how big is it? Who is involved?

KH: What I found out actually is that there are layers upon layers and that there are secret groups that go around acting like the enforcers or the coordinators or whatever you want to call them. So I can tell you who these groups are so you can get a good picture of how this group operates. There’s something called the Knights of Malta, there’s something called the Council of Foreign Relations, there’s something called the Bilderberg Group, there’s something called the Trilateral Commission, and fasten your seatbelts, folks… there’s something called the Jesuits. These people are the ones that are determining and have mapped this out… you know, these groups are kind of like the successors of the groups that were operating to assassinate Lincoln, and of the group that assassinated JFK. And they have had a plan that they are systematically implementing. https://followthemoney.com/world-bank-corruption-whistleblower/

__________________________________________________

*Vatican & Jesuit Order research resources:

In Minnesota, the news of Lincoln's assassination was reported hours before it actually occurred:

"Three or four hours before Lincoln was murdered in Washington, the 14th of April, 1865, that murder was not only known by some one, but it was circulated and talked of in the streets, and in the houses of the priestly and Romish town of St. Joseph, Minnesota. The fact is undeniable; the testimonies are unchallengeable: and there were no railroad nor any telegraph communications nearer than forty or eighty miles from the nearest station to St. Joseph.

... there is not a man of sound judgment who will have any doubt about that fact, the 14th of April, 1865, the priests of Rome knew and circulated the death of Lincoln four hours before its occurrence in their Roman Catholic town of St. Joseph, Minnesota. But they could not circulate it without knowing it, and they could not know it, without belonging to the band of conspirators who assassinated President Lincoln." Fifty Years in the Church of Rome By Charles Chiniquy http://exmoonagainstnwo.freeforums.net/thread/8/foreign-subversion-who-president-work?page=2

Charles Chiniquy - (1809—1899) He exposed the Jesuits as the assassins of President Lincoln during the 1880s.

Charles Chiniquy collection

José Rizal - (1861-1896) joserizal.ph

Emmett McLoughlin - (1907-????) "Irishman, who exposed the Roman hierarchy as responsible for the excessive crime among Roman Catholic peoples, in forbidding the public school system to teach about the Inquisition, and for carrying out the assassination of Abraham Lincoln." (book: "Vatican Assassins", 2001)

Hiram Dukes - (1914-1990)

Avro Manhattan - (1914-1990) author

toresearch: "He was educated at the Sorbonne and the London School of Economics. During World War Two he was jailed in Italy for refusing to serve Mussolini's army. Later during the war, he operated a radio station called "Radio Freedom" broadcasting to nations occupied by the Axis Powers. For this service he was made a Knight of Malta. His friends included H.G. Wells, Pablo Picasso, George Bernard Shaw and scientist Marie Stopes." [1]

to research: "His aristocratic roots meant that he was a Knight of the House of Savoy as well as a Knight Templar and a Knight of the Order of Mercedes." [2]

Books linked here: 911:Vatican_&_Jesuits#Literature

Malachi Martin - (1921–1999), a former Jesuit who authored critical books on the Jesuits and the Vatican.

Jack Chick - (1924-) comic author, and critic of the Catholic Church

Edmond Paris - author

Edmund Paris ~ The Vatican Against Europe PDF

Edmund Paris ~ The Secret History of Jesuits (1975) PDF

Alberto Rivera - (1936-1997. multiple assassination attempts, murdered ) ex-Jesuit general 1997 who told the public about the Jesuit infiltration actions.

multiple articles on chick.com (do a search on "Alberto Rivera")

assassination info

small article

google-links

todo: Nuri Rivera

? Look up name

Youtube Spanish video confession of a jesuit (spanish)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qi7rzZrjmyc

Tupper Saussy - (1936-2007) artist/musician/author. Author of "Rulers Of Evil: Useful Knowledge about Governing Bodies".

"Finding the lost" (2001), article on his discovery of the Jesuit/Masonic mafia influences in the US.

Milton William Cooper (Bill Cooper, lured and shot by police men, murdered) - (1943-2001), author, shortwave broadcaster,

Book:

Behold A Pale Horse

audio clip

video: The Hour of Our Time - The Legacy of William Cooper

video: William Cooper - Behold a pale horse lecture

Walter Veith

official site (Total Onslaught video series)

Ian Paisley

ianpaisley.org European Institute of Protestant Studies

In 1988, when Pope John Paul II delivered a speech to the European Parliament, Paisley shouted "I Denounce you as the AntiChrist!" and held up a red poster reading "Pope John Paul II ANTICHRIST" in black letters. John Paul continued with his address after Paisley was ejected from the hemicycle by fellow MEPs. Some reports claimed that other MEPs assisted in expelling him from the chamber, and that Paisley was booed and struck by other MEPs, who also hurled objects at him, leading to his hospitalisation. The elderly Otto von Habsburg helped to wrestle Paisley out of the room (wikipedia)

Jim Arrabito - (1950-1990, murdered?), artist and evangelist

"On September 2, 1990, while returning from a photography trip in Alaska, Jim and two of his sons (Tony and Joey) were killed in a plane crash which also took the lives of the pilot and a young missionary from New Zealand."

video:A fascinating comparison of ancient religious symbolism

video:Jesuit Order Occult History

video:The Inroads of Spiritualism

video:The Babylonian Connection

video:James Arrabito John the Revelator

video:Home from the Heavens

Richard Bennett (Ex-Jesuit Priest)

google-links

archive.org works

video's

video: Vatican Control Through Civil Law

Eric Jon Phelps - secret society researcher (Jesuit Order / Vatican / masonic cults)

interviews and book excerpts

google video's

youtube video's

"Throughout history, the Jesuit Order has been tied together with war and genocide, being formally removed from many countries, including France and England. As researchers claim the Jesuits are the real spiritual controllers of the New World Order, author Phelps has also called for the Order's banishment in this country. However, with more than 28 major universities from coast to coast, the Order has created a strong political and financial foothold here, including secret control of the CFR and control of many banks like Bank of America and the Federal Reserve banking system, making Phelps' call for banishment a difficult if not improbable task." [3]

C.T. Wilcox - author and actor

Book: "Transformation of the Republic", 2006

"an expose of Vatican and Jesuit intrigues and interference into the political structure of the United States and Europe. It contains shocking revelations and fully authenticated documentation, much of it hidden for almost 100 years, to support the conclusion that the United States has been transformed from a beacon of light and hope into an empire with beast-like tendencies and that the world is headed for a Vatican led and instigated cataclysm while it sleepwalks towards the edge."

J. Crowley - "Irishman, who, at the turn of the Twentieth Century warned of the Jesuits’ conspiracy to destroy the bulwark of America’s popular liberties – the Public School System – furthering the quest of "making America dominantly Catholic." Authoring The Pope—Chief of White Slavers, High Priest of Intrigue, Crowley also warned of the Jesuits’ power in Washington, D.C. and their plan to use American political and military might to restore the Pope’s Temporal Power in Rome and extend its influence around the world. This was accomplished during the Second Thirty Years’ War (World War I and World War II – 1914-1945) and the public schools were destroyed by Supreme Court decisions handed down by a Chief Justice who was an arch-conspirator in the Kennedy Assassination, Earl Warren." (book: "Vatican Assassins", 2001)

"Papal Despotism" (Chapter VIII of Romanism)

more info

Gerard Bouffard - former Catholic Archbishop of Guatemala and Vatican insider. (contracted bone cancer)

"Besides painting a dark picture of the Black Pope in Rome, Bishop Bouffard claims the evil power of the Jesuits extends throughout the world, including solid infiltration of the U.S. government, the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR) and major religious organizations."

Thomas Richards - a former Roman Catholic who is warning Americans about the evil Vatican and Jesuit hierarchy trying to destroy America.

podcast (Nov. 07, 2006)

Bill Hughes - author of The Enemy Unmasked and The Secret Terrorists, telling listeners that the Vatican through the Jesuit Order are the real spiritual controllers of the New World Order.

podcast (Oct. 17, 2006)

videos: Catholic infiltration of the SDA

Bobby G. Limeta

Madelin Murrey O'Hair - " Just before O'Hair, and her family, was to go to New York, to protest the Pope, she and her family disappeared without a trace. Again the media silence was deafening."

toresearch:

Category:Anti-Catholicis

Slats Grobnik

Richard Bennett (short bio)

Stan West

Ralph Moss

Tony Alamo

Pasted from <https://www.thebabylonmatrix.com/index.php?title=911:Whistleblowers>

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