#my past does not exist to justify my present

[blueish-bird]

sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive

[acid-ixx]

gets fucking stabbed by damian and my last breath still be like "it's not his fault ! he is ten and was raised to be murderous since he was born ! kid entered a household where everyone ignores my existence, i don't blame him for assuming that to be the norm and acting evil to me so that he assimilates to his new environment ! bro literally went through the worst all his life so of course the way he expresses himself is harmful to others !"

and then i get stabbed again lol

— masterlist !

OH MY GOD PLEASE 😭 the gaslighting yourself is real, i'm telling you.

unfortunately, the reader's toxic mindset of justifying everything your family does is a common scenario for every time one of them fucks up; only in the past though. the present chapters will have you slowly realize just nothing really is ever your fault. that you've never once been in the blame for the actions of your youngest brother.

but right now, i want to focus on why you just seem to let damian go about his own crazy path of targeting you. and it's either it's because you have nothing, nobody else to fight back with you, or it's purely because you allow him to.

to destroy you, to make you suffer, to make you learn that you have no place, or standing in the family. and if you do have a place, it is at the rock bottom.

this is what damian is taught: the weak should be eliminated before they fester into some type of unnecessary cancer.

you're weak, when he first saw you, when you first approached him with your tail tucked behind your legs and an invitation to hang out together with the scent of cookies wafting in the air— he knows that it is you who will make him weak.

you give him temptations to be a child, he's raised to fight against it. he ignores the unwelcomed feeling of wamth that blooms in his chest, those are feelings that gets you killed.

so it's how the story goes: he brings his sword up to your neck, and sways his hands swift enough to make a small cut to ensure that the first thing you associate him with is fear. and for someone vulnerable like you, it doesn't take much before you quickly submit to the prospect of your place beneath a trained assassin like him.

he ignores the sudden pang of his heart and the aching, gnawing dread that chews at his mind at the memory of your widening eyes and the wobble in your steps.

it's already damaging enough to have the youngest be introduced and immediately accepted into the family, but it's worse when he's significantly younger than you, a boy nearly half your age; someone you've always wanted to have, to care for, to help raise and cherish... despises you from the start, before you two even formed a connection.

someone you once called your younger brother, now became an enemy in opposing lines in a place called home.

what would've been fine-tuned jealousy towards him because he was given everything in a silver platter turned into shame that you couldn't even face him, not right after he threatened to kill you, no... and especially not after you've convinced yourself that if you couldn't even prove your worth for a young boy like him, then you really have nothing good to offer.

you give him the autonomy to think it's alright, that due to his upbringing, alongside your naive brain always justifying that your other siblings are right, and you are in the wrong— he was given every opportunity to torment you when you even go as far as being in the same room as him.

and i have my receipts on why you're just like that; all in the grace of low self-worth and self-esteem. past you reasons out that it's because it's always your fault.

you couldn't even find a way to save your mother, you couldn't even establish your place in the manor, you couldn't comfort bruce when he was still not over jason, what more could you be when all you see damian as is a young, broken child like you? that behind that veil of threats and weapons ready to attack you, is someone you knew could've been different, if he was raised right...

if he'd given you a chance to help nurture the softer, more humane part of him.

you've always wanted a younger sibling, not only from back when you were just with your mother, but also when you were introduced to the manor. because not only did it mean that you'll know how your mother felt when she raised you, but because you thought you'd have somebody by your side throughout the silent torment you've went through.

and when you're graced with one, who doesn't even consider you his older sibling; you let it be.

you let him be himself.

damian wayne, demon's granson, the son of the bat.

so many titles he's called, but never one where he's your younger brother.

it doesn't help that you justify his past, because the man you idolize, dick, does so too whenever you try to complain. his excuses are never out of malicious intent to have you suffer further— it's just that he never once actually considered you as important enough to bat an eye on, like how the rest of them treat you.

because you know that even dick has his limit towards the youngest member of the family; he just never reaches it when it comes to you.

so if you have a person allow another to act terribly towards you, but have another, a friend or family, who teaches you that it's not right, who fights by your side; it wouldn't take long for you to also learn how to defend yourself then. you'll gain confidence that you're at least not alone, that your actions are completely valid.

... but if you have an entire family that couldn't even scold the boy for leaving a scar on your neck, who brushes his mean comments about you aside, who isolates you even further with malicious words that you know becomes crueler when targeted at you—

then you have no basis for what is right, and what is wrong.

and that makes your authority, your trust in yourself dwindle like your already crumbling relationship with all the others the further you try to fight back.

that's when you learn what it's like to give up, all over again. if you accept his vidictive insults, if you know your place to turn back if you see him in the same room, if you knew from the start that sometimes trying doesn't equate to succeeding; then it'll at least numb the pain that comes after.

for the entirety of your life from when damian was introduced, that was how you coped—

but your life after the manor, after damian matures and learns softness, about empathy (that he's buried long ago during his training from when he was all but a toddler) on your situation; reading your journal entries because he still felt entitled to due to some hidden, twisted trait of possessiveness... that's an entirely different story.

would you still be as understanding as you were back in the past towards him? would you still force yourself to love the demon you saw as just a little boy? or would damian finally understand that it's too late to turn back time, to correct all his mistakes?

either way, if you were capable enough to change (at least, in his eyes), becoming an independent person (you think, huh? your place is at the manor), then maybe you could give him a chance too, to fix your relationship and build a bridge to an even stronger one.

one where you could finally baby him, like what you've desired. one where he could feel vulnerable, when he learned that it's valid to feel weak— it cuts back to the previous points: you make him weak.

and when he's out to find you after going through every single diary, every entry, after deducing that there's still a small spark in your that'll forgive him if he tries; he refuses give up any sooner if it meant replicating the same warmth he felt when he stood by your presence.

so... you wouldn't want to leave your youngest brother waiting for you, don't you?

after all, it's just like what your entries told him, right? this is what you always wanted, right?

a/n: everyone is entitled to their own feelings about how i portray damian and mc's relationship!!! i love how all of you guys have different conflicting reactions to this. it's all so complex for me, how damian sees you as someone who's weak and makes him weak (he's just a stubborn little guy), and you, who sees yourself in damian, alongside the added desire to just have someone to care for (because you want to so badly honor your mother's memory), and that person also caring for you is ARGH!!?!

i apologize for my long rambles (if anyone wants me to cut back on posts like this, just tell me), i'm sure everyone is anticipating chapter 5 and possibly (soon) chapter 6 (since the drafts, not the final work is becoming too long). but right now, all i could provide are my depictions of the reader's relationship with every member of the family. i love to churn scenarios where it feels like you're actually part of the family so i'm actually manipulating all of you guys to become attached to the characters too, just to add an extra layer of angst, hehe...

[kyri45]

✨SBP: Second Star Q&A! 07/05✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If it’s not answered here, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

@deadhope34 ha chiesto: Can Mei, Pigsy and Tang not eat a peach of immortality and stay like that by MK side without dieing? That was the reason Wukong became immortal in the first place.

not everyone wants to become immortal

@klownkatz ha chiesto: in the most recent second star update, at the end we see two picture frames. one has mks photo in it, decorated with clouds- his name means "little cloud"/"little heaven" if i recall. the empty frame is decorated with a moon and some stars- is this a hint to the new babys future name?

love your work! :D

who knows?

@sarahnoah ha chiesto: Hey Kyri, I've been following you for a while, I love you so much Lmk, and especially this wonderful ship, I honestly think I spent my days repeating your comic too much Besides reading, I imagined what the next chapter would be like, everything, until we reached this stage, a next baby, sir I screamed, I love how much you makes the story of Xiaotian, Wukong and Macaque, ahhh, seriously, create a universe that brings these problems that Mk goes through that the series doesn't delve into so much, or talk about, I hope that season 6 addresses it, but you know You are so amazing, I can't go on without praising you so much, you have helped me a lot lately, following you, always reading what you post, about your cat too, and the people who support you support, it's such a good environment, and unfortunately I know you intend to finish, I've already gotten used to what wonderful works need an end, and mainly something I really wanted to know is, "Will you maintain this relationship, between Wukong and Macaque", and mainly, about this point of MK having these traits of Ma Macaque, even though the Mk itself only has it because in its universe it would be a creation of both energies of the two, so it justifies it, but its next stories still deal with this idea. Anyway, it was just this that's it, thank you for everything, for being one of my biggest inspirations, I'm studying nursing, I'm still graduating, but I love art a lot and creating is something that fascinates me a lot, and always reading, repeating all the to make me feel happy, know that your stories bring me this, sorry for the huge text, just Thank you, thank you for being you, for being unique, and for creating all this, and for existing.☺️❤️🌷🥰

Hello! Yes I will keep their relationship in other stories. About MK, most likely I will stay with his canon appearance and lore.

@twilight-bai-he ha chiesto: Speed question Which Shadowpeach is healthier past or present 💝

present

@evil-monked ha chiesto: JUST ONE QURSTION Do you already have a name for the baby? I would love it if the name be Yinxing, for some reason 🤡 I LOVE YOUR AU

yes i do. no it's not Yinxing

@shadowgirl-17 ha chiesto: Hiiiiiiiiii big fan of ur bio parents comic .. I have a question it might be a bit weird but if the baby was born ( mpreg ) and not be a stone baby who would be the one to carry it? Wouakong or Mac????? Just being curious thats all.. BTW your one of my fav artist 💜🧡

Wukong

@coolshadowkiller99 ha chiesto: Do the bio parents ever dance together? May I please call them shimians if they do?

Yes. Yes you can

@roseltelle ha chiesto: Macaques whole thing is the extra ears and the super hearing. What if baby they of course love them to bits but imagine how much they would have to adjust and learning Chinese sign language.

I mean yes but they wouldn't be alone in this, there will be Pigsy and Mk to help them as well

@autism-autobot ha chiesto: Does baby shower mean another Tumblr Takeover?

Yes but it will be a while til it happens.

@shevijra ha chiesto: I have a question about the baby! The kid is not there, it's kinda its shell? I know that the stone cracked, but this monkey will also crack, showing the baby or will it just start moving on its own? I dunno how to interpret the stone animals. Wukong came from the stone egg, not stone monkey statue. KYRI HELP! How it happened? The stone melted, exposing the monkey statue or what?

Wukong came from a very big stone, who then cracked open, to reveal a smaller stone. The latter was then "brushed by the wind" and it formed to be a living monkey. So most likely the second stone wasn't monkey-shaped, but it's moslty an aesthetic decision (MK was a literal stone monkey when Nuwa created him)

@twilight-bai-he ha chiesto: Funny question but does Mamacaque have a chancla 🩴. I imagine he does 😅. I got this idea from @madabapf by the way

for meme reason let's say he does

@domin-ki ha chiesto: Hey will Bai he show up any time? Miss her 💕🥺

later yeah

@thelittlefireicebird ha chiesto: And now, what does Mk's room look like? Will he continue living in his apartment or will he go live with Redson and his family? This is something that intrigues me a lot about demons. They don't leave the nest; they make it bigger.

His room on FFM It's just the same, just slightly bigger. He still lives over Pigsy restaurant. Technically PIF already made his future room constructed but MK is not ready or doesn't have any plans to move yet.

@drpepperlover545 ha chiesto: (sorry if i'm bothering you but) I have a question, Is wukong the type of parent to freak out when the baby gets like a mid cold. Like the type to go to the store and buy every medicine there btw love your art.

Yes, but Wukong has mid knowledge on medicine and Mamacaque is almost an expert, so while he would worry, he would mostly hover them, he would know how to cure them, unless it's a rare, unknown demonic illness.

@angelroseanimator ha chiesto: Hey I love you art but goooood question Who gets to be the new baby God child all heads down on deck on get to being the grandmother or Granddad of wukong and macaque child

of course GuanYin will be the godmother. I don't know about Godfather. I suppose there will be multiple (like Tang, Pigsy, Sandy and Nezha

@roseltelle ha chiesto: Wait wait wait with MK becoming a celestial prince does that mean that he may be summoned for Celestial jury Duty on occasion.

haha yes he does. And Nezha has to try to keep him from talking too much at meetings.

[unsolicited-opinions]

Hi ! I’m lurking through your blog and you seem very mature, like in a way that’s rare to find. I naively had similar beliefs as a teen but now feel like I’m never radical enough or useless, I felt like I lost myself and I wanted to ask how do you stay confident in your mindset.

Old, Anon.

The word you're looking for is old.

Aging is weird.

The truth is that I don't stay confident in my mindset.

I think that's mostly a good thing, because the reflex to defend a mindset can drive you to bypass genuine listening and reconsideration when presented with new information or new ideas.

Mindsets can get tangled up in feelings, fallacies, and cognitive biases.

I try instead to stay open and skeptical, especially of myself. That uncertainty keeps me checking in with my beliefs. It helps me pause before posting, read people I disagree with, and listen when people disagree in good faith.

Maybe you're really asking something deeper, Anon.

You mentioned feeling like you're never radical enough, or that maybe you've lost yourself.

That disorientation, that sense of being not enough for the tribe you're supposed to belong to is real.

It's especially brutal when you actually care about justice...but your community starts measuring morality by loyalty, shibboleths and performed tribal rituals instead of by integrity.

You're not alone in feeling this way.

____

I've been trying to understand what's happening when a wide variety of people get angry at me.

In the past week alone, no shit, I've had each of the following spit at me as contemptuous invective by someone on Tumblr in Replies, Asks, or Reblogs:

Communist!

Liberal!

Centrist!

Nazi!

Boot-licking Fascist!

I've been trying to figure out what it is I'm doing which is so upsetting to so many people across so many ideological camps.

My working hypothesis:

Consistency is a strangely radical trait to display publicly in a polarized society and it is deeply offensive to people on either end of the horseshoe.

Below are moral principles which I think always apply.

These aren't slogans or moral flexes.

I often want to check and re-calibrate my own internal tools for moral navigation, and that's what this sort of thing does for me.

They're guardrails which help me avoid going off the road of human decency or straying from my core moral beliefs. They're also not comprehensive or universal - they're just some examples which are useful and meaningful for me.

Every People Has a Right to Exist

All of them.

You don't have to love every culture. You don't have to endorse every political entity, but no group deserves to be erased.

If your activism involves erasing a people physically, culturally, or symbolically, you're not doing liberation work.

Oppression Doesn't Excuse Oppression

Being hurt doesn't give you a free pass to hurt others. Nothing justifies massacres. Bigotry and violence don't become righteous when they're flipped upside down.

If we cheer atrocities when "our side" commits them, we're not opposing violence, we're promoting it.

Human Rights Are Universal

Women's rights matter in Afghanistan and in the US.

LGBTQ+ rights matter in Iran and in Florida. The right to protest matters in Gaza, Georgia, and Tehran.

Free speech matters even when it protects people you disagree with.

If we bring up human rights to attack our enemies but excuse our allies when they do the same, we're making human rights which should be universal into something selective and tribal.

Targeting Civilians is Never Acceptable

Drone strikes. Suicide bombings. School shootings. Pogroms. Doesn't matter who's doing it or why. Targeting civilians is always wrong.

Moral Agency Applies to Everyone

People and movements must be judged by what they do, not by the story they tell about themselves.

This includes the US, Hamas, Russia, MAGA, antifa, the IDF, radical feminists, the Ayatollah, and your favorite TikToker.

If you treat any group as too victimized to be morally responsible, you're infantilzing and dehumanizing them. It's not compassion, it's condescension.

Oppressed ≠ pure.

Powerful ≠ evil.

The Ends Don't Justify Inhumane Means

If a "revolution" regularly promotes torture, genocide, authoritarianism, or child soldiers...it's not a liberation movement.

If a cause requires mass deception or mass suffering to work, the cause should be revised or abandoned.

"By any means necessary" can go very wrong very quickly and this phrase should not be used often, casually, or as an abdication of moral responsibility.

Peace and Justice Require Listening

You don't build a better future by eradicating your enemies. You build it by figuring out how to share space with people you may never fully agree with.

Justice requires truth and accountability...then forgiveness and coexistence.

When movements start purging dissent, silencing disagreement, and chasing utopias through destruction...that's when they start becoming the thing they claimed to fight.

Right now:

Identity is treated as morality, and power is treated as sin.

Being "on the right side" means never having to check yourself.

Rage/outrage is mistaken for moral clarity.

Empathy is weaponized against an enemy, not leveraged to relieve suffering.

The loudest performers are drowning out those who are working meaningfully and materially for peace.

A large number of us have abandoned consistent principles and ended up cheering for monsters...mostly because the monsters hate the same people we do.

So I try to hold onto moral principles that don't change based on who's in power, or who's claiming victimhood. Moral principles which focus on alleviation of suffering and promotion of justice, not on revenge or the balancing of scales. Principles which prioritize action over performance, and rational universalism over tribalism.

To be clear, I don't think doing this makes me neutral or right.

But I do hope it makes me trustworthy.

---

Anon, if you're feeling lost or like you're not "radical enough," maybe ask yourself:

Are you anxious about being faithful to your values...or just to your group?

Are you sacrificing thought for belonging? Are you sacrificing your own moral principles for social acceptance?

Where did you get the idea that there's some threshold of being "radical enough," and that other people can set that threshold without your consent?

Solidarity without principle isn't justice. It's just one's preferred (or socially acceptable) flavor and direction of selective injustice.

So...what beliefs/principles/values do you hold as sacred no matter what group they're applied to?

---

The quiet moments when you're alone with your conscience are the ones which will tell you who you are.

So don't worry about falling short of perfection, Anon- everyone falls short of that.

And maybe don't worry about falling short of other people's standards either - because it'll never be possible to satisfy them, and you don't owe them a performance or allegiance to their standards.

You owe yourself consistent commitment to your standards.

___

If you feel like you're "never radical enough" or that you've lost yourself somewhere along the way, consider the possibility that you're just experiencing the natural results of trying to be honest and true to yourself in a dishonest, inconsistent, polarized, tribal, performative, reactionary, dangerous time.

Managing that can be difficult and unpleasant, but even just making the attempt takes courage...and you're already working on it.

That's more than most people ever manage.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven! 👋 I don't get all the vitriol about the lack of consequences of Malleus's OB. Twst has never given any serious consequences to any villain so far. Riddle, Leona, Vil and Idia have also tried to kill Ace, Ruggie, Niege and the whole world respectively. Rollo tried to wipe out all magic from the world which would kill entirety of Fae or potentially other magical species. Fellow was involved in human trafficking. None of these people faced any serious repercussions for what they did. If it was done before but not now I would understand the frustration. Among all OB boys Vil & Malleus are the only ones who apologised. Also you mentioned in your book 7 finale post that you were surprised about the lack of death and destruction because of Malleus's UM. But I'm more confused as to why you were even expecting that. Malleus's UM was never meant to cause death or destruction in fact it was precisely to avoid those sad occurrences he decided to use his UM. So it's no wonder there were no deaths or serious property damage out side of NRC. We have already seen Silver as baby sleeping for 400 years by fairy magic and being completely fine. Only danger was the loss of autonomy which thankfully was stopped. Malleus literally had a part of his body mutilated which is the most on the nose consequence we have seen. Yes it was necessary to stop him still doesn't change the fact it is mutilation. Plus I don't think post OB flashbacks were meant to shift the blame to the bv senators. Even though I don’t like them their actions in universe make sense. I think all flashbacks merely explain the OB boy's past experiences and circumstances. It doesn't justify there actions in present only provides an understanding of their motivations and character. Life doesn't exist in a vacuum. Malleus's flashbacks merely explains why he is the way he is now. It doesn't rights his wrongs. People are shaped by their experiences and circumstances. Since not many people can relate to most OB boy's circumstances it becomes hard to empathise with them. I am NOT saying people should not criticise or dislike a character. Just saying that lack of accountability & consequences isn't something unique to Malleus. Lack of control over our my life and circumstances is something I have been dealing with since i was born so I know from experience how suffocating and hopeless it feels. Even if someone understands it doesn't change of help my situation whatsoever. I relate to Malleus feelings about his own situation. It doesn't makes his decision right but I understand his thought process. People can understand other but still dislike them. Understanding does not equals to justifying. I hope I didn't offend any one. My sincere apologies if it came across as such.

Have a good day or night Raven!

Before I get to sharing my commentary, I'd like to make a quick clarification. "Vitriol" (cruel and bitter criticism or outright insulting) is a very strong word to use here. I don't doubt that some people are vitriolic about the ending. However, to label most or all critique as "vitriol" detracts from the discussion, as it paints those not happy with it as blindly hating on Malleus and ignores any plausible points they may have. Let's acknowledge the entire spectrum of reactions, including just... plain disappointment and everything in-between that disappointment and vitriol. It's not all coming from a place of blind hatred or refusing to understand him, some of that critique is very much coming from a place of understanding but still disliking the outcome.

I can't speak for everyone, but I personally haven't seen many people claiming "Malleus and ONLY Malleus should be given severe consequences." Twst has frequently been criticized for the lack of serious consequences for ALL of its OB characters (and its Halloween event characters). I particularly find Playful Land distasteful because they casually never address what happened to the non-NRC victims of the operation. And notably, Idia came close to *checks notes* oh yeah, letting monsters out of hell and causing an apocalypse. Just because Malleus is currently being discussed--as he is the most relevant--doesn't negate the fact that past OBs + Halloween characters were critiqued in a similar way. Few people are denying that the other OBs also did terrible things and only got off with a slap on the wrist. We're not conveniently ignoring past sins, it's just that we're talking about the most recent one now. (Few corrections to some points brought up on this topic though: I believe Riddle apologized as well; it's also NOT canon that wiping out magic would kill fae or other magical creatures, simply because fae are more inclined to magic doesn't mean losing that magic kills them.)

I'm aware that Malleus's intent was not to harm anyone with his UM, and that his UM only put them to sleep. However, I just cannot suspend my disbelief. Even if he didn't mean to hurt people or to cause damage, there surely were potential issues with 20,000 individuals falling asleep mid-whatever activity they were doing. The scale is large enough for there to be a non-zero chance that someone wasn't accidentally injured or even killed. Swimmers? Drivers? People cooking? What about those with preexisting health conditions like sleep apnea and diabetes? And even if we accept that Malleus magically suspended their bodies in stasis, isn't magic limited by one's imagination?? Malleus doesn't strike me as someone who understands a lot about health conditions, technology, etc. How would his magic know to stop cars (something he admits to never having ridden before in A Firelit Sky), to cease bodily demands for care, etc.? The latter (ie bodies atrophying from lack of sustenance) is even mentioned at least twice by the Shrouds as potential threats to their wellbeings. Why would they bring it up multiple times if not to insinuate a fear of consequences??? Yes, Silver was able to sleep unageing for 400 years, but we cannot be certain that magic is the exact same as whatever Malleus was using, or that their imaginations worked the same way. I would find this less surprising if they actually explained how it is that everyone was without injury, like having the Shrouds confirm that the lack of sustenance was not a real issue. Them not addressing the theory at the end only makes me suspicious. If it wasn't a problem to begin with, why even have them mention it more than once? At that point, just don't include the dialogue implying this at all.

I think to just chalk it up to "the only danger was the loss of autonomy which thankfully has stopped" is minimizing potential issues that could result from this. Realistically, it would be a huge problem that the (future) sovereign of a country took such a drastic move; this would surely affect relationships with other nations so I find it strange that this isn't really touched upon. (A similar issue was mentioned by fans with Leona's attempt on Malleus's life in book 2, but again, we're discussing Malleus here because he's most relevant; the lack of realistic consequences for the other characters is an entirely separate problem.) They did bring up Malleus's grandma apologizing and condemning her grandson's actions, but that doesn't go in enough detail--how are the other nations reacting to this??? And again, bringing back the 20,000 statistic--I also find it strange that the writing only mentioned a group of people who loved Malleus's dream magic and make zero mention of any people who were traumatized by it?? Like, you'd think at least a few people would have felt upset, violated, or even confused about the matter??? That's not even counting all the NRC students we had to shock awake, some of which cried or had emotional breakdowns over it. It's strange how the narrative ONLY focuses on reassuring us that Malleus's actions didn't actually affect anything when, given the numbers, it would have, at least emotionally/mentally/psychologically. And how come no relatives were mad about what happened to their kids? NRC (and RSA, I presume) have the children of many prominent families in attendance; you’re telling me none of these people got upset or tried to retaliate? Even though we know some of them take extremes (looking at you, Mrs. Rosehearts)?? I’m not saying I want Malleus to have harmed anyone or to be made a public enemy; I want a more balanced understanding of the consequences of his magic. Like, why isn't there also... I don't know, mention of therapy or social support being provided for those experiencing shock after waking up from the dreams? To help them get back on their feet? I would have accepted even the off-handed mention of something like that.

Again, I'm not speaking for everyone here (I know that some people find damaging a horn to be a "good" way of regulating his unchecked magic), but personally I was pretty squicked by that. I agree that Malleus should have limits placed on his power, but I think it should have been done through some other method like... I don't know, Maleficia magically "grounding" him or something. (Like maybe we struck the horns but it didn't actually chop anything off; his grandma places a spell that limits what he can do afterwards?? Or maybe Malleus himself permanently sacrifices a ton of his magic to Lilia in order to revive him.) I wince a little whenever I see Malleus with that broken horn because I can't help but think of a real-life animal with an equivalent injury. A cat that's been declawed, a ram with a broken horn, a bird with its wings clipped or its beak blown off, etc. It makes me feel really bad for him 💦

I think a lot of people see the broken horn as being the most "severe" of consequences because a part of Malleus was essentially broken. It's visible, unlike mental or emotional scars, and the sad truth is that people are quick to condemn something that's easy to see rather than something that's not (ie potential psychological fallout or trauma). None of the other OB boys have to walk around with a physical reminder of what they did, so Malleus is perceived as being the "most hurt" in the eyes of the fandom. I'm still not entirely sure what the effects are in-universe though??? Like how does this impact his everyday life, what spells is he still able to use, does the area hurt, does it affect his balance or other aspects of his life?? He doesn't seem particularly bothered by it, but that's probably due to the time skip + for plot convenience; it would really help us better understand the fallout if the next main story update elaborated.

Malleus is unique in that he was also never previously held accountable for his actions (outside of book 7). Endless Halloween Night, his general lack of genuine effort to listen to his peers when they tell him off or try to explain why he messed up, actual attempts to harm civilians or mages he knows are less powerful than him... None of it results in real consequences. At most, he gets scolded a little but doesn't truly learn from that scolding, so he's doomed to repeat the same mistakes. It feels like part of the reason why people want Malleus to "face the music" is because he never had his privilege previously challenged. People are too scared to due to his magical might and social status--and now, when he's set before the world's stage, is the most likely time when he'd actually have to look in the mirror and reflect on his past mistakes. Not only the OB, but also his hubris in general. Some people also just feel that Malleus will not grow as a character (as he has demonstrated issues with this outside of book 7) without facing the other repercussions of actions he directly took. No one's calling for Lilia to permanently die because they want to see Malleus suffer. They're saying that if Malleus ended up doing no harm to anyone or anything, if Malleus doesn't have to face Lilia's mortality (the thing he OB'd over), will he really have learned anything in the end? Is there anything pushing his current beliefs or challenging him to change? There's a difference between calling for "more punishment" (which I think is what's being conflated here) and "more accountability". I think most want the latter, NOT the former. Most of us don't want Malleus to be harmed or ostracized further--what we do want is for him to realize that he messed up and to think long and hard about what he can do to make amends. The scale of what he did was grand, so doesn't that also warrant he make up in a similar way? One party and apologizing to a fraction of the people he affected is only accounting for some of it. (For example, I would have personally wanted him to formally address everyone he impacted, not just NRC.)

Mmm... The OB flashbacks are definitely meant to explain, not excuse, the related boy's actions. If it were only Malleus's flashback in isolation, I would have perceived it as such. However, it wasn't just that flashback. It was everything else in the narrative explaining away any potential issues resulting from his magic. It wasn't a few details either, it was several. When you add them all up, it creates... this feeling that the narrative is pushing HARD for you to feel a certain way about Malleus specifically. No other past OB has had so many details thrown our way to reassure us that the OB boy actually did as little damage as possible. We weren't explicitly told the destroyed rose maze was fixed in a jiffy with magic, or that no students were injured when Riddle OB'd. We weren't explicitly told that Ruggie made a full recovery and bears no grudge against Leona, or that his victims healed very quickly. We weren't explicitly told that Azul shoving tentacles down people's throats didn't traumatize any mobs, etc. (And to be clear, I've shared my own complaints about how easily the other OBs were forgiven too, particularly Azul with customers flocking back to his restaurant.) The opposite is true for Malleus, so that it feels a bit… much. We are explicitly told many things and then nudged to not worry about them.

My own issues with the flashback in part stems from worries with the fandom reaction to it. Malleus has historically been a character that the fandom is EXTREMELY protective of, so much so that people are willing to push the onus onto anyone but him. I've literally seen fans blaming Lilia for Malleus not having social skills rather than accept that Malleus being awkward is a combination of factors (factors which include Lilia's enablement but also include Malleus's own learned complacency + not understanding humans). When the flashback opens with the senators blessing Malleus, it (unintentionally) presents fans with an easy target to redirect their anger and pin the blame on. Even if the Twst universe doesn't push all the characters to hate the senators and blame them for Malleus being the way he is, the fans certainly will.

To summarize: very few people are saying "Malleus and Malleus ALONE is experiencing a lack of accountability and consequences." A lot of the current focus on Malleus is because he is the most recent OB, operates on a much larger scale than the other OBs, and has a history of not receiving consequences in other incidents. None of this negates previous critique lobbed at other characters who got off with little or no consequences.

I hope that helps you understand why some Twst fans have such different opinions regarding book 7's conclusion! I also hope that this doesn't diminish your own enjoyment of book 7 or of Malleus's character in any way, just shows you an alternative perspective. I can tell from your passionate words that his story really resonates with you (and there are many others that feel the same!), so that makes me really happy. I wish you guys nothing but the best; please give your lizard boy all the adoration!

[mochiajclayne]

thoughts on sasusaku + sarada and their...family

Will start this out by stating that this is a combination of observation and analysis so take it with a grain of salt.

(If you like sasusaku/ss, this ain't for you so please do yourself a favor and scroll away.)

naruhina + boruto version.

This is definitely the most fucked up thing to ever come in fruition in the sequel and they weren't even justified in Gaiden. LMAO. 

Diving into this family's issue at hand, it's pretty much about Sasuke being an absent father and being away from his family for more than a decade--not to mention that Sasuke is able to freaking report to the Hokage but not even pay a visit to his family.

Gaiden was pretty much good at covering the topic already but let's break down how dysfunctional it is:

The lack of evidence signified about Sasuke and Sakura being married. We see pictures of Sakura and Sarada at important moments of her life but not a single wedding photo. Sarada pretty much asking Sakura if she's really Sasuke's wife is valid because she won't doubt from the beginning if there was telltale evidence supporting that information. There isn't.

The "family" photo. Sasuke was roughly seventeen in that photo, not to mention it's next to Sakura who is in her 30s at that point. Isn't it strange? No updated photo since they got married? What's fucked up is that she had to cover up the rest of Taka behind that photo. That raised more questions, specifically, Sarada asking who those people are and who is the one wearing glasses like she does.

And, yeah. The glasses thing. It was a simple yes or no question. Sakura saying that she doesn't know is inane because they had spent time as Team 7 in the past, not to mention the sporadic moment they see each other (Orochimaru's hideout, that bridge where she tried to kill him but failed), and during the war. I don't know where she's looking but Sasuke hasn't worn glasses at all and if she can't answer that simple question, that says more about her. Anyway, that fed the idea that she doesn't know a single thing about her husband at all and Sarada notices this. Naruto who was able to say information about Sasuke unprompted, pretty much what Sarada needed to hear--yeah, I know. Shocker.

Sasuke's first meeting with Sarada. I've seen enough takes about him being an absent father. I'm not disagreeing with that. However, I present another perspective: Sasuke doesn't even know what his daughter looks like even though it's been shown that he was in Konoha at the time that Naruto is already Hokage (which would mean Sarada would be around seven or eight years old) and Sakura is in that same room, too. You're telling me that she couldn't have at least fucking introduce Sarada and Sasuke to each other? It's easy to shift the blame to the absent father because he simply isn't there but when Sakura, who knows the mission and with uncertainties on its duration, couldn't have made the initiative to simply give the kid an assurance that yeah, this is your dad, he exists and to Sasuke, she's Sarada and she's seven and she wears glasses. If making them meet is too much, at least a fucking photo would suffice it. But no. Nothing of the sort coming from Sakura. Why? Because she's okay with Sasuke being absent. She doesn't see any issue with it.

Communication. This is a controversial take and I will keep it simple. If Naruto and Sasuke can communicate and contact each other, what's stopping Sakura from reaching out to Sasuke? Isn't she his wife? She could literally write her own letter and send it alongside Naruto's but no efforts had been made on that. This is the benefit of the doubt but if Sakura at least reached out, then it's up to Sasuke to either intentionally ignore that or respond to her. My point here is initiative--it has been shown time and time again that she can do that, we've seen instances of it in the prequel. Did she stop because she finally got what she wants and is content with whatever crumbs she could hold on to? 

Sarada's birth. The sketchiest of them all. Some people wrote excellent analysis on this so please do check them out. My two cents on this is Orochimaru discussing cloning to Naruto and pretty much piquing Sarada's curiosity about the concept (which later on led to DNA testing as courtesy of Suigetsu). Sasuke pretty much reacted this way:

Usually, ellipsis in media is used when the character is pondering/thinking about something. It also represents speechlessness or a pause. Now tell me, if Sarada's birth isn't sketchy and was in some sort of way, normal, why did Sasuke casted that wayward side glance? The entirety of Gaiden as well as this page was meant to make the readers question Sarada's conception. For a backstory, Kishimoto sure left more questions than answers.

Everything is unconventional like Sakura not keeping the umbilical cord and Karin has it instead, no records at Konoha Hospital when Sakura works there and can coordinate with the proper department/s to handle paperworks, traveling while pregnant (ma'am you are a medic-nin, make it make sense), etc. I will leave this as it is, again, it has been discussed extensively by various blogs here.

In conclusion, even in adulthood, Naruto and Sasuke knows each other best. They become expert parents (at least) around each other's kids. In a fucked up way, I think it's a silent cry for help aka look I'm good with your kid and we could've been good parents together but we were forced into these marriages.

Sasusaku ended up canon but it still doesn't change the fact that Sakura knows little to nothing about Sasuke to the point that Sarada picked up on that and even threw it at her face. At the end of the day, Naruto remained as the one and only that knows Sasuke's heart best.

[trippingontheescalator]

"...had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile..."

Or, how I write and interpret Lily Evans.

So, first off, I would just like to say that this is just my interpretation of the character. Lily appears in only a few blips so that most interpretations of her are going to be valid in one way or another. This is not character bashing, I like Lily (well, I like my interpretation of her anyway), just like I like Severus, and Sirius, and most other HP characters (except Remus, I don't much care for him lmao). I'm also not interested in hearing "Well, Snape did this bad thing so therefore whatever Lily does is justified..." because this is not about Severus. Now, I will also be doing some character analysis on Severus as well, just because his character is so intricately tied to hers that it is difficult to peel her away without also needing to look at him, but he is not the focus. Lily is.

Personally, I am sympathetic to Lily; I see her as a flawed teenager in the same way that Severus is flawed, and James is flawed, and Sirius is flawed. I also see her as a product of her time. The culture, social mores, and attitudes of the 1970s are vastly different from the 2020s. Lily is a boomer, just like many of your parents and grandparents are boomers. The only difference is that your parents and grandparents got to live full lives and hopefully grew as people, whereas Lily will always be stuck in the 70s. Now, this is not to say that the terrible things that happened in the past are in any way justified. James's sexual assault against Severus is still sexual assault even if no one in the 1970s would have recognized it as being such. But I think remembering this is crucial to understanding who Lily is as a person. Remember: "The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there." (L.P. Hartley)

There is also the issue of a Doylist vs a Watsonian interpretation, and how sometimes the former informs the latter. For instance, at the scene by the lake in OotP, Severus and Lily do not interact until Severus is attacked despite them being in the same class, taking the same O.W.L. Now, if you were best friends with someone, wouldn't you join up once class was over and discuss how you think you did? But that isn't what happened. After the test, Severus immediately gets up and leaves, absently walks with Lily and her group of girl friends silently without acknowledging them as they chatter to themselves, not acknowledging him either. The minute they get outside, Severus breaks away from the group, still absorbed in his examination questions, and sits in a clump of grass beside some bushes. Lily and her other friends move to the lake where they take off their socks and shoes to dip their feet into the lake. Not even so much as a "See you, Sev!" "Talk to you later, Lily" from either of them.

Now, the Doylist explanation is that JKR is trying to keep their friendship a secret so that it is the big twist in DH. She did an absolutely terrible job of this in my opinion, but that's neither here nor there. Either way, having Sev and Lily exchange pleasantries would raise too many questions in the readers that JKR doesn't want to answer at that moment. So, no talking, they ignore each other as if they were complete strangers.

Unfortunately, this creates a bit of a dilemma from a Watsonian perspective. Severus and Lily's relationship has not yet severed completely; it's on the rocks, certainly, but even then they would have said something to each other even if it was only coolly polite. Not ignore each other completely as if the other didn't exist.

There are several ways to interpret this, and I'm sure other people have their own thoughts, but for me this reads as though one or the other would prefer not to be seen hanging out when other people are present, and I am inclined to think Lily is the one who is embarrassed to be seen with Severus rather than the other way around. Some might think that Severus wouldn't want his Slytherin housemates to see him hanging out with a Muggleborn, but Severus willingly stood outside the Gryffindor Tower for hours waiting for the chance to apologize her; he's not above publicly groveling to someone of a "lesser blood status", regardless of what others might think of him. Severus's housemates are also nowhere to be seen in this scene. The O.W.L. they were taking is Defense Against the Dark Arts, which means it is a core class and that Severus's dormmates would be there taking it too. However, Severus doesn't acknowledge any of them either and neither do they come to his defense when he is attacked. Clearly, the rumors of their friendship have been greatly exaggerated. Lily, however, is with her friends; she actually has something to lose by being seen with him, and she admits that she is getting shit for being friends with Severus when she says, "None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you." in DH.

I don't think she would ever actually come out and say to Severus, "It's embarrassing to be seen with you in public, let's just hang out in private and not acknowledge each other when we're around other people." But I do think Severus can pick up on enough hints that this is what Lily wants and is willing to accept whatever crumbs he can get, while Lily gratefully accepts this change without commenting on it.

With this reasoning, a few of the flaws that I give Lily are: susceptible to peer pressure, overly concerned with her public image and reputation. So far, fairly typical of a sixteen-year-old in the throes of puberty while trying to learn how to be a good person. We've all been there, which is why I violently repress all of my middle school memories.

One flaw that I do NOT give her is the idea that she was a gold digger, for a few reasons: A) I don't see it as a flaw. Get your bag, girl. And, B) it doesn't make sense to me from a Doylist perspective. Lily is JKR's golden girl, her idea of True Womanhood upon which she places on a pedestal. And JKR makes it very clear that she despises that sort of ambition. If you're a good person, then good things will magically fall into your lap. You shouldn't strive to rise above your station and do things just for the money. That's what Percy would do, that's what Petunia would do, that's what a Slytherin would do.

This is a common trope in romances. A girl only wants to marry for true love, even if that means she will be destitute! But what's this? Gasp! Her true love actually is rich all along and she has proven herself to be a Good Woman™ and thus is deserving of her newfound wealth. What a twist! JKR has stated in interviews that Lily would have fallen in love with Severus if he hadn't joined the Death Eaters, and I think she implies as much in DH when the book states, "The intensity of his gaze made her blush." She is clearly trying to prove that Lily is a Good Woman™ and not a gold digger who doesn't care that Severus poor, that the only reason she didn't date him is because she disagreed with his morals, and James being filthy rich is because the Fates have decreed she deserved it for being such a Good Woman™.

Frankly, it's a sexist trope and in my humble opinion, James being filthy rich is the only reason to marry him because he is not winning any awards with that personality. I've always agreed more with Marilyn Monroe when she said, "Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?" But also I have bills to pay, I have to think about what a prospective partner is going to contribute to a household, whereas a sixteen-year-old girl doesn't have to think like that.

So, a neutral trait that I give her: romantic. Lily wants to fall in love and she's not going to settle for someone just because he makes a decent income. However, referring back to her previous flaws that I've established for her (susceptible to peer pressure, overly concerned with her public image and reputation), it is important to her that her prospective partner be socially acceptable at the very least, if not charismatic and popular. She's not interested in James's money, but she does like the fact that people like him and she can take him out in public without the two of them being whispered about behind her back.

But! Just because she decided not to pursue Severus does not erase the fact that he was likely her first crush. And that tells me a little about Lily's taste in partners. At this point in his life, Severus is described as, "had a stringy, pallid look about him, like a plant kept in the dark. His hair was lank and greasy and was flopping onto the table, his hooked nose barely half an inch from the surface of the parchment as he scribbled," "Round-shouldered yet angular, he walked in a twitchy manner that recalled a spider, his oily hair swinging about his face," in addition to her blushing at the intensity of his gaze. She had the hots for this weird, sickly Victorian waif of a boy. She probably wanted to spoon-feed soup or something.

And considering how James is described at this age-- "James’s eyes were hazel, his nose was slightly longer than Harry’s, and there was no scar on his forehead, but they had the same thin face, same mouth, same eyebrows. James’s hair stuck up at the back exactly as Harry’s did, his hands could have been Harry’s, and Harry could tell that when James stood up, they would be within an inch of each other’s heights." Now, some people think that the reason Harry is short is because he was malnourished and that he is actually tall in later books due to all the Hogwarts food and therefore James is actually quite tall in this scene, which is valid. But this is not my interpretation though. I view Harry as maintaining his "Seeker build" all his life-- naturally predisposed to being short and scrawny due to the genetics he got from James. James is even described as having a "thin face" here. Plus, James being short, thin, with a "slightly longer" nose is right up Lily's alley. She likes her men thin, delicate, and big-nosed.

(Also, it's absolutely hilarious to me to imagine that James and Severus are just two short, scrawny ass kids fighting each other. James is 100% just Sirius's fancy, little long-haired chihuahua with a Napoleon Complex to match. He carries him around in a pink, sparkly Gucci handbag like Paris Hilton.)

So, James has the looks, but he doesn't act anything like Severus and Lily disparages James's personality time and time again. She says in OotP, "But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter," and "Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." And she doesn't say this in a slap, slap, kiss kind of way. The text uses the adjective "coldly" in the way she speaks to him; this isn't fiery passion, this is disdain (except for the hair bit, she states she clearly thinks a lot about his hair).

Again, this makes sense if her first crush was Severus. Her tastes in personality probably also aligned more in Severus's favor. So, now I've got her romantic likes and dislikes--

Likes: Short, Thin, Prominent Nose, Lots of Hair on Head, Intense, Intellectual, Emotional, Friendly Dislikes: Arrogance, Bullying, Vanity, Violence, Social Ineptitude

Now, Sirius and Remus have this to say in OotP:

“She started going out with him in seventh year,” said Lupin. “Once James had deflated his head a bit,” said Sirius. “And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it,” said Lupin. “Even Snape?” said Harry. “Well,” said Lupin slowly, “Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?” “And my mum was okay with that?” “She didn’t know too much about it, to tell you the truth,” said Sirius. “I mean, James didn’t take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?”

Some people interpret Lupin's words to be the definitive truth when he says Severus never lost an opportunity to curse James, but I don't. Lupin is wiggly with the truth in PoA and I have no doubt that he is being wiggly here so as to paint James in a better light to protect his poor, orphaned son from the truth. Do I think Severus cursed James first at times? Absolutely, but I also think the amount of times he did this were fewer and farther between than James cursing Severus first on account of, A) a lack of opportunity, Lupin says he never lost opportunity but how often did that opportunity actually come along? It's difficult to get away with cursing James when he is popular enough to be surrounded by a whole group of people, B) knowing that not only would James retaliate but also the other Marauders as well, and C) knowing that the other Slytherins would not back him up, just like they didn't back him up at the lake. Severus can be petty, vicious, and vengeful, but to me it's seems obvious James is the instigator the majority of the time and that he hexed Severus "for the fun of it" and "because he exists" throughout their Hogwarts career.

Now, regardless of whether or not you believe James changed and matured, or that Severus was the one at fault, or that it was a "rivalry" and not "bullying"-- none of that matters because this is about Lily, and regardless if it was true or not Lily honestly believed that James had changed. As Sirius said, James did not jinx Severus in front of her after sixth year. There are some who say that because Lily chose James, that obviously means that James really is a good person or she would have never picked him. But I want to make Lily a character, not a plot device, and some sort of all-knowing, divine arbitrator who only offers her hand in marriage to the one who is truly noble and good is a plot device. Lily is not all-knowing. She can only make decisions with the facts she knows, and Sirius and Remus admit that some facts were kept secret from her.

So, I give her this positive trait: a highly defined sense of right and wrong and is brave enough to step up when her morals demand it. Now, at times, this trait can also crossover into a flaw and become a rigid sense of right and wrong such as when she tells Severus, "They don’t use Dark Magic, though," which proves to her, in her mind, that the Marauders are morally superior to Mulciber and Avery. Now, I'm not debating that Death Eaters aren't scummy, but Lily in this scene isn't arguing the fact that Mulciber and Avery are morally wrong for their beliefs in blood superiority. Her argument is that the violence the Marauders inflict on others isn't as bad as the violence Mulciber and Avery inflict because the magic the Marauders use isn't technically Dark Magic, which is a very fine line to toe. James uses Scourgify to waterboard Severus, but in Lily's mind this is a lesser offense because Scourgify is not classified as Dark Magic.

I think the key to writing a good character is to acknowledge that what we consider to be a positive trait can also be used as a flaw, and what we see as a flaw can also be seen as a positive trait. Even the other flaws that I gave her - susceptible to peer pressure, overly concerned with her public image and reputation - can be positive in the right circumstance. For example: if your best friend is telling you that the Mulciber guy you've been fawning all over lately is creepy, well, damn, they might have a point. Maybe you should listen to what they have to say, instead of stubbornly doubling down because you are too sure of your own perception and you are determined to go your own way and everyone else can go hang, Severus. Sometimes your peers are pressuring you for a reason. It's called an intervention and they would like you to go to rehab, Sirius.

Now, some people say that dating a former friend's bully, no matter how that friendship might have ended, is not very moral so how strong could Lily's sense of right and wrong be? Now, I personally would never date anyone I knew to be a bully, whether the person they bullied was a friend, stranger, or enemy. But that is my personal sense of right and wrong, not Lily's. If Lily was a Dungeons & Dragons character, her alignment would be "Lawful Good." A Lawful Good character does not mean that they obey every law just because they are laws, it means that they have their own internal set of laws and code that they rigidly follow because they believe this code does the most good for the most people, and are willing to break society's laws if it goes against their own personal moral code.

This leads directly to another personality trait of Lily's, one that she actually shares with Severus: Lily is vindictive. She believes in punishing those who have harmed her or others, regardless of her own personal relationship with them. Severus called her a mudblood? Then she will punish him by calling him Snivellus and leaving him to be brutalized by the Marauders because that is justice to her. She wants to punish him. Because she wants to make him hurt like he hurt her, and some would say that letting someone get sexually assaulted by being stripped naked in public does not fit the crime. I am one of those people. I, personally, think Lily was morally wrong for not getting a teacher in this moment regardless of what Severus said. However, the purpose here is not to sit in judgment of Lily, but to define her character to make her a real, living, messy, contradictory, positive, negative human in my writing (and hopefully for others! I hope this can help other people!).

Now, remember when I said we had to keep in mind that Lily is a product of the 1970s? This is that moment. Lily has a very well-defined sense of right and wrong, and her moral compass aligns with what is right and good in the 1970s, not the 2020s. Lily would not have viewed this as sexual assault. None of the characters would have, not even Severus even though he would be the one forced to deal with the trauma of what happened. At this time in the UK, boys would be caned bare-bottomed in front of their entire class at school as a disciplinary measure. There have been articles and memoirs of boys even being forced to strip down completely in front of their classmates to receive their caning. Even girls were subjected to being caned bare-bottomed, though it was usually done privately or if done publicly only in an all-girls school. When these children spoke out and protested this, the adults ridiculed them. Said they were weak and too coddled and it was good for them. This practice wouldn't end until 1986 when it was officially banned. Male nudity was not treated with the same respect as female nudity. Obviously, we know now (or at least we should know now) that what is considered sexual assault when it happens to a woman should also be considered sexual assault when it happens to a man, but this was nigh unfathomable in the 1970s. People might sympathize with what happened to Severus, but they would not have treated it with the seriousness it deserved. Lily, as a sixteen-year-old child, is not going to spontaneously receive an epiphany that holy shit, this is sexual assault when no one else, not even the adults around her, recognize it as such. She is going to view this moment as everyone else does (minus Severus himself): that this super embarrassing for Severus but no worse than being called a mudblood. Again, I want to reiterate: I am not excusing sexual assault, I am attempting to understand why a character, specifically Lily, would think a certain way.

And now we've arrived at the million-dollar-question, a smile so enigmatic that it would give the Mona Lisa a run for her money: what exactly was Lily feeling in that moment when, "Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, 'Let him down!'"

So, the most popular interpretation is that she secretly thinks James' actions in this moment are actually funny or that she is actually a sadist who enjoys watching someone be humiliated. But, with all that I've built with her character, I don't actually think that is the case. Lily appears in cold, righteous fury when James chokes Severus with Scourgify and demands he leave him alone. After Severus breaks free and casts Sectumsempra and ripping a gash across James's cheek, James casts Levicorpus on Severus, and that's when Lily's mouth twitches in a brief smile. I don't think Lily necessary finds Severus hanging upside down with his underwear exposed funny, I think the smile is more wryly cynical. She has criticized Severus for using Dark Magic, told him that it is worse than the spells the Marauders use, and when Severus loosed an obviously Dark Spell in that moment he was immediately punished by being flung upside and having his underwear exposed in what Lily would view as karmic retribution. Again, I'm not excusing anyone's actions. I am not stating that Severus deserved this or that Lily's interpretation is right, I am just stating what I think Lily is thinking in this moment, and in this moment I think she is thinking: You let your mouth write a check your ass couldn't cash.

And so that is my interpretation of Lily Evans and how I write her in my fics. And, once more, none of this is meant to be character bashing. This is meant to be character enhancing by giving a symbolic metaphor of a character an actual fully-formed personality with warts and all. I don't dislike any of these characters (except Remus), not even James despite my constant dunking on him. I don't have to find a character good or morally right to find them interesting and entertaining.

[minyard-05]

damocles

me again coming back to type up another word vomit 'essay' about a song i've had on loop for the past ~8 hours.

SO. damocles.

the main thing that stands out to me lyrically is the tense change. like a lot of sleep token's songs have a tendency to be set in the past, as if vessel is recounting feelings and events that can't be undone. from this perspective he picks apart his own emotions and analyses himself, questioning his own existence through the lens of trying to put himself in context for the audience (in some cases this presents itself as almost trying to justify his actions but thats a different post). damocles does have a bit of this, in the bridge with the 'nobody told me' lines, but primarily, it's about what's happening now, how he feels now, and the entire chorus is focused on the future. that uncertainty in the lyricism, and the honesty of lines like 'no one else knows that i've got a problem' is i think what gives the entire song its whole Vibe, and why i think it's probably one of their hardest hitting tracks so far. before, the stories might have been sad, but they were certain. like, we may be doomed but at least we know we're doomed. but in damocles, vessel doesn't know what's happening or where he goes from here, and that's what makes it scary.

another thing it does really well is capture the whole feeling of catastrophising and overthinking, as shown in the chorus:

"When the river runs dry and the curtain is called / How will I know if I can't see the bottom? / Come up for air and choke on it all / No one else knows that I've got a problem / What if I can't get up and stand tall? / What if the diamond days are all gone, and who will I be when the empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten"

a big part of what backs up the uncertainty theme I mentioned earlier is actually the way this part of the song is done technically. the piano is the only instrument alongside vessel's voice as of yet, and it begins softly, mirroring the vocal line in a ballad style, but when the chorus starts, the tempo increases. the entire first chorus happens in the span of about 25 seconds, whereas the first verse lasts twice longer, about 50 seconds. this increase means that the song doesn't feel rushed, but tense, before it slows back down to bring in the drums on verse 2. i don't know about you guys but the first time i listened to it i actually kind of felt a little on edge, because the way it's composed means that it musically raises a question that isn't really answered. in a sense, the chorus never really gets closure, all the questions vessel asks himself don't get any response from sleep, if that's who he's talking to. damocles is telling us a story that doesn't have an ending, not yet.

lyrically though, and this may be somewhat of a self contradiction, but it feels to me like damocles is something of a sequel to caramel. side by side, the songs actually feed fairly well into each other, following similar thematic ideas, but the main split is that caramel is about the pressure of being known and damocles is about the fear of being forgotten. i talked about this already a little in my caramel post but i feel like there's really no way where this song isn't an incredibly personal message from the singer himself, not the character of Vessel.

like let's look at the line from the chorus again: "Who will I be when the empire falls?" and lets take this 'empire' to mean Sleep Token as a project. they've been immensely successful, especially in the past two years, and success for musicians comes as a blessing and a curse. more fans = more people to share your art with and more money gained from concert tickets and merch sales to then fund creating and recording more music, which is all good! however, success also means interest, and interest means critics picking every second of every single apart, it means there will be people who only like you when you're doing one specific thing, and if you deviate from that binary, it will never be as good as your old stuff. sleep token are not just a metal band, and damocles isn't a metal song, and the more you experiment with new styles and techniques in your art, the higher the chances you will alienate people who don't like your new stuff. unfortunately, a lot of people LOVE to voice this dislike online, and with the internet being the behemoth that it is, it's easier for artists to see those critiques. and yeah, fuck the haters, create what makes you happy, i'm all for that, but from an artist's perspective that's way easier said than done. all this to say that the speed at which sleep token gained mainstream popularity, and all the bullshit that comes with it, is undeniably going to take a toll on the musicians themselves.

they've been anonymous throughout their whole career thus far, and have been explicit in saying that choice was made to protect their personal privacy AS IS THEIR RIGHT. but i'm wondering if damocles is in part about the fact that while they stay anonymous to stop Sleep Token from taking over their lives, it kind of feels like it did anyway. because while you can disconnect from the internet and not look at the comments or the critics, there is always this nagging question at the back of your mind that says is it good enough? do they like it? do they like me? did i get it right? am i good enough?. fame is fickle, and if you're not constantly keeping yourself afloat, the tide will drop you. so to me, "Who will I be when the empire falls? / Wake up alone, and I'll be forgotten" sounds like vessel wondering if he's already written himself over in the context of the band, and when 'the empire falls', i.e, when the band ends, does he go back to his normal life? does he start over again? did any of it ever matter?

and the uncertainty comes back, because maybe he doesn't know when the empire will fall, maybe he doesn't want it to. but he is Damocles now, on his throne he looks over the empire, and he waits for the sword to drop.

[sidebar: in the original story of Damocles, he was a courtier of Dionysius (not the god), and flattered his king, essentially saying he was fortunate and blessed to have so much power. Dionysius offered Damocles the chance to sit on his throne for a day, but he had a sword suspended over it by a single horsehair. the moral of the story is that it's a lot more work than it looks to be a leader, and great ones will always have enemies, dangers that are just out of sight but ever-present. Sleep & Vessel parallels anyone????]

MAYBE that's a stretch. but i'm not done because now i want to talk about the bridge.

"And nobody told me I'd be begging for relief / When what is silent to you feels like it's screaming to me / Well, nobody told me I'd get tired of myself / When it all looks like Heaven, but it feels like hell"

THIS is where i am getting the strongest caramel parallel (ha). this is explicitly about chasing this golden promise of fame and love, only to catch it and realise it's burning you. the vocals here are melodic but to me it almost sounds quietly angry as well, like vessel can't openly scream 'nobody warned me', so he sings it instead ("too blessed to be caught ungrateful"). and he's angry because all he wanted to do was make music and share it with people, but Sleep Token isn't just a band anymore, it's also this huge collective of fans that it's built, and when something like that spirals out of control, you can't easily get it back. vessel's anger comes from the fact that he never started this wanting to write songs about how much it hurts to keep doing this. it was supposed to be an outlet and a way to make something beautiful out of pre-existing pain, but now it's come full circle and is the new cause, rather than the cure.

anyway. those are my damocles thoughts somewhat articulated but i may come back to them. i need a whole new post just talking about that drum mix fr

[anonagon9]

TVT Adminpocalypse

TW: transphobia, acephobia, bullying, suicide

Hey, for those of you not aware, TV Tropes has gotten very bad in the last six or so months. I'll do my best to give a short summary.

2022: Fighteer, a mod notorious for using his post to bully others, takes a self-imposed leave after several users call him out on this pattern of behavior. Due to user backlash at general moderator behavior, a mod code of conduct was established. While self-enforced, the moderator discussion thread existed, in part, to discuss future incidents.

September 2023: User AgProv is suspended for calling Dylan Mulvaney a man. In his appeal, he tries to get around the issue by using they/them pronouns. Though Mulvaney uses both she/her and they/them, as this appeal was clearly done in bad faith, AgProv had been bounced from the site. A few hours later, however, Kory, a site programmer, unilaterally overrides the bounce on behalf of otherwise non-present site owners, citing he was a productive user with several edits. When called out on this, Kory doubled down, using thumps and suspensions to shut down conversation. Notably, AgProv was later suspended for messy editing, but to this day has not needed to appeal his transphobia suspension through the typical process.

Later that month: Fighteer is asked back by the admins, citing a need for manpower. Fighteer's "apology" amounts to being burnt out and justifying his meanness as being an "equal opportunity" bad cop. He promises to step back from areas of the site where he'd been an issue previously. This does not last. By the end of this one-two punch, the moderator discussion thread is reworked into a narrow policy clarification thread with issues of misconduct being exclusively handled by emailing the admins.

Past seven days: Fighteer makes a post in the social media thread stating that people threatening suicide over a possible TikTok ban should just do it. In another post, he considered this an act of terrorism. These post were thumps, but no other visible disciplinary action was taken. This is despite the US Politics thread being closed for celebrating the death of Henry Kissinger. Again, attempts at discussion were swiftly shut down. Notably, Kory all but stated that Fighteer, despite all the issues, was worth having as a mod.

So for anyone reading, consider spreading the word. While that alone won't fix the underlying problem of private tech companies pushing for content at the expense of user experience, if enough people, and especially, advertisers, catch wind of this, it may create enough of a PR disaster where the administrators will change course rather than quintuple down. For anyone who, understandably, does not wish to do that, then please, if you haven't already, get an ad blocker and make sure it's on for that site.

Thanks!

[hrizantemy]

Okay—when it comes to some messages, my inbox isn’t letting me answer directly, so I’m going to respond here instead!

“Do you think current Feyre looks down and hates humans? Why do you think she looks down on humans? Has she always had that way deep inside even before Turning fae or was the IC a major influence on that thinking?

How do you think Nesta views humans now that she is Fae? Do you think she views herself as better than them or she still loves and values her kind—humans—even though she is no longer human?

Do you think Elain views humans the same as Feyre and the IC? Or that one day she will start to view humans as they do? If given the chance, could you see both Elain or Nesta going back to being human if they could?

Do you believe even though unfortunate for the girls that them being changed and made was for the best or for the worse for them?

How would you feel if this was real life and faes existed, and you were turned fae—just like Nesta and Elain—had no say and was forced to be something you never wanted in the first place? Do you think you’d be angry and depressed for a long time? Do you think you’d eventually make do with it? Or would you be happy about the pros that comes with being Fae?”

Does Current Feyre Look Down on Humans? And Has She Always?

I think when it comes to Feyre, the most telling shift isn’t necessarily in what she says about humans—but in how she stops identifying with them entirely.

She doesn’t hate humans outright, but I truly believe she just doesn’t see herself in them anymore. That’s what makes her relationship with her former humanity so haunting. The girl who once starved and hunted and clawed for scraps has been slowly swallowed by power, privilege, and the ideological detachment of the Night Court.

The Feyre we meet in ACOTAR is sharp-edged, cynical, survival-driven—but grounded. She understands need. She understands what it means to be overlooked. But by the time we reach ACOWAR and beyond, Feyre’s entire sense of identity is shaped around the idea of transcending that past. She doesn’t want to return to it. She doesn’t want to look back. She doesn’t even really talk about her humanity anymore except to frame it as a burden she overcame.

And the IC reinforces that. They constantly equate mortality with weakness. So of course Feyre, who was once defined by her ability to protect others, would grow into someone who sees power—not empathy—as the only way to survive. In that context, mortals stop being familiar. They become fragile. Foreign. Less than. Not because she explicitly hates them—but because she no longer sees herself reflected in them.

She’s looking into a mirror and seeing a stranger—and that’s the scariest part.

How Does Nesta View Humans Now That She’s Fae?

This is where the contrast is stark.

Nesta does not see herself as better than humans. In fact, she still sees herself as human. That’s part of why she reacts so violently to her transformation—it’s not just about losing control. It’s about being forced to become something she never wanted to be, at the hands of fae who never valued her humanity to begin with.

Unlike Feyre, Nesta doesn’t idolize fae culture or power. She doesn’t take to it naturally. She doesn’t forget where she came from. Her interactions with mortals, her protectiveness over the priestesses in the library—all of it suggests that she continues to hold deep empathy for people who are overlooked and cast aside, especially those without physical power.

It’s what makes her the natural foil to Rhysand and his court, who think power justifies every action.

Elain’s Perspective: Present & Future

Elain’s perspective is murkier—but not without signs.

So far, Elain is the one sister who still physically clings to comforts: the garden, the quiet, the dresses, the softness. It’s easy to read that as a love for her old life—but it might also be a refusal to engage with her current one.

Elain doesn’t confront what’s been done to her. She doesn’t name her trauma. And while that doesn’t mean she hasn’t suffered, it means that she’s containing it in silence, letting others project onto her. So when it comes to humans, she doesn’t say much—she doesn’t say anything—but that silence is slowly becoming dangerous. The more she allows herself to be shaped by others (especially the IC), the more likely it is she’ll become like them.

Elain has always been about adapting for survival. She doesn’t challenge systems—she slips beneath them. And that includes internalizing the Fae way of thinking.

So yes, I think Elain is the most likely to one day view humans the way the IC does—with a quiet sort of pity, a disconnect. Unless something pulls her out of that trajectory, she’ll become one of them by default.

If Given the Chance, Would Elain or Nesta Go Back to Being Human?

Nesta: Yes. Without hesitation. If she could take the power and give it back, I think she would. Being made into something else was a theft of her will. She hates that. Even if being Fae comes with advantages, she values her humanity too much to accept what was done to her. Her trauma is tied not just to the war, but to transformation without consent.

Elain: I’m not sure. I think Elain would say yes. But when the time came, she might hesitate. Because now she’s in a system where her beauty and quietness are praised. As a human, she would have been married off and forgotten. As a fae, she’s still a pawn—but a valued one. There’s a dark allure to that.

Was Being Made Fae a Blessing or a Curse?

For all three sisters, I think the answer is the same: it depends who you ask—and who benefits.

From a survival standpoint, being fae kept them alive. But from a moral standpoint? From a trauma standpoint? It was a violation. They lost the right to choose what their bodies would become. Their lives were rewritten by violence. Their “salvation” came at the cost of identity, autonomy, and peace.

And the courts treat it like a gift.

That’s the insidious part.

What If This Were Real? If I Were Turned Fae?

This is where it becomes deeply personal.

If I were forced to become something I never asked to be—something that altered my body, my lifespan, my future—I’d be devastated. Furious. Grieving. Because what happened to the Archeron sisters is bodily violation, cloaked in beauty and power.

And grief doesn’t go away just because the new life looks prettier. I’d mourn everything I’d lost. My future. My humanity. My choice.

Eventually, maybe I’d make peace with it. Maybe I’d find community, and safety, and even joy. But it wouldn’t erase the betrayal. And I’d carry that scar forever.

[nothorses]

i am a proponent of open borders/worldwide free movement but i do have a hard time reconciling the sovereignty of indigenous nations with the utopian world i imagine where belonging to a nation is immaterial. do you know of anyone who can talk more about this?

I don't know of a particular person I could refer you to online, but I'll outline some of the suggestions I do have for learning below.

Does anyone else know someone online who might be able to speak to this?

My personal understanding (as someone who is neither Indigenous nor an expert, so grains of salt!) is that the things Indigenous Peoples need in order to attain sovereignty are largely dictated by the colonialist system they've been forced to operate under-- which means a decent place to start is just learning about how different Indigenous Peoples have historically understood relevant concepts like what made a People a nation (or tribe, or band), membership to a particular nation, and land "ownership"/territory (if there was such a thing).

Step two, then, is learning about what sovereignty means to them now- and why. Indigenous Peoples have had vastly differing and complex relationships to land and nationhood (as we understand it now) in the past and present, many of them much closer to the ideal you're imagining than is able to exist under settler-colonialist governments like the U.S.

Modern reservations don't even all require those who live there to be members of the nation whose land they live on, nor do all members of those nations live on reservation land (some nations, like the Duwamish, don't have federal recognition or reservation land- yet still have a process for attaining membership).

The Landback movement aims to return land to the Peoples who orignally stewarded it, but that has more to do with ensuring sovereignty for Indigenous Peoples; Landback on the whole isn't really about kicking individual people off the land they live on. That anxiety comes from settlers and settler-colonialism, and fearing that what we did to them will be done to us. Not from, like, actual Indigenous people.

I'm always recommending Indigenous History Now's videos because like, the whole channel is really great, imo. I can't remember exactly which one it is that he talks about land "ownership" in traditional Coast Salish cultures, but I think it's either Indigenous History of the Pacific Northwest Coast, or Indigenous American Culture Zones: The Pacific Northwest Coast.

I think it might also help to learn a little bit about why Indigenous Peoples might prefer the term "nation", especially in a settler-colonialist context.

More valuable than any of that, though, is learning about and from the Native nations local to you. Museums & cultural centers are typically open to the public; you can always check their website to find out, or just find a person to contact and ask directly.

Native nations also tend to run events that are specifically open to the public, which tend to be listed on the nation or center's websites. Be sure to check sites for Native nations in your are that aren't federally recognized as well; a lot of them have websites and events and things anyways.

Every interaction I've had with local nations & individual Indigenous people has taught me that on the whole, Native nations here aren't just friendly, but actively want non-Natives to learn about them, from them, and are really excited when we approach with genuine curiosity & respect. I can't speak to what's true where you live, but it can really be a joy to connect in that way. There is of course also a lot of hurt, grief, and very justified distrust as well, so y'know. The genuine curiosity and respect is key, I think.

[remembertheplunge]

I crave the diary writing experience

August 29, 1987

I picked up an ancient diary—1700’s—a young man was told by a famous lawyer to keep a diary. So, he did for 30 years. And 1800 came and 1900 and in 1927 or so, his journals were all brought together and people loved them. I think that the young man’s name was Boswell. He wrote only for himself. He believed that reflection by review of journal entries in later life was better at times than the actual experience. I tend to agree I suppose. Not better, just more favorable. Maybe pain transforms to pleasure with the ozone layer of time surrounding events—protected from the harsh ultra violet rays of present uncertainty and near past familiarity. Reading a diary entry twenty years past must be like reading the story of another’s existence—yet still—deep in the soul spot you know that is you—one of your tree rings. 

Unlike Boswell, I hope the world does read my diaries. I want to be a wedge they can jam into the eye of time to open up and see through to a thought space place that once was.  I want that experience to flow backwards into the self of the viewer to enhance that entity for all time. I want my existence to be a prison through which others may shine their light to cast colors on the walls of existence. 

Start your own diary and write around my ideas. Just build on them. Or say “Hey, he did it, I can too.” That’s enough.

I crave the diary writing experience.

I’m addicted to it as much as my father is addicted to photographing existence (a visual diary) and my sister is dedicated to painting existence (an impression diary).

I just can’t sleep at night without writing. WRITING—I crave it

It justifies, purifies and let’s go .

End of entry

Note: 3/25/2025

I just googled "Boswell journal 1700 "and up came "The journals of James Boswell 1762-1795" . So, I was right in my 1987 journal entry (above) about the name of the 1700 journal writer!

[potatoattorney]

surprised that none of them called me elizabeth actually. you'd think out of 5 at least one would give me elizabeth

got called henry clerval by 3 out of 3 uquizzes. this means I'm winning

[wolfertinger]

HM!

https://youtu.be/-I0UVjFl7uI?si=URcnVHjygZz8q9Xe

1:05:00's Honorable Mention of things Ponder hates about artists is reminding me of a very certain someone. Doubt he would see himself as being part of this issue though.

"Honorary mention: Not quite a pet peeve but close enough that it's worth noting. Irresponsible posters. This one specifically has to do with artists who post inappropriate content on websites that it should not be posted on. You guys probably know what I'm talking about, art of the spicier variety. Usually of the "that's really specific I wonder if they're getting something out of it" variety or spicy comics.

Sometimes fan comics featuring characters from games, movies, or TV shows with a large child fanbase proudly paraded around without content warnings, or sometimes even tags, because I'm convinced a lot of these freaks get off on the idea that literal children might be forced to see what jingles their jollies. Like if you're actively posting fetish content to a website dominated by children, or you're requesting or commissioning underage artists to draw this content for you? You're a sick freak predator who's doing it on purpose. [...]

Like these weirdos are all over the place. You want to post spicy content? Post it to an 18+ website that is designed for that content! "Oh, but I don't get the same level of interaction from those sites!" Yeah, probably because the majority of interactions were from children. Because out of every demographic online, children have the most free time. Or are you upset that the adults are just going to use the piece for its intended purpose- you know what it is. If you're so concerned make your own spicy content website that is more artist friendly. [...]

"Content guidelines exist for a reason and it is to protect children using the site from seeing content that they shouldn't be exposed to. If you're going out of your way trying to work around those guidelines to either post that content for your own benefit or to send it directly to those kids because you so desperately want people to see it you're being selfish, irresponsible and disgusting. Nobody needs to see your Undertale OC fan comic where the majority of the romantic tension is elicited through unwanted contact of the physical crotchular variety. "But I was traumatized man" Shut the hell up, you're a grownass adult, go to therapy. "But it's my trauma art" Okay then, maybe you should acknowledge the fact that it's potentially traumatic and prevent kids from seeing it? People justify posting some of the most horrendous things by classifying it as their trauma art. But you having been traumatized in the past does not give you a cart blanch excuse to post content that could be used to harm other people in the present day."

[airyravenmaid]

SAGAU: My Style

Back at it again with sharing my personal ideas with the Self-Aware Genshin AU. I don't see myself writing a full-on fanfic about it because I do NOT trust myself with characterizing everybody properly, and some of the ideas I have in mind wouldn't make for a good universal experience for all, if that makes sense. So, instead, I'll just stick to pitching like I'm at a silly ol' business meeting and providing a simple layout. Now, keep in mind, this is going to focus more on my rendition of an Imposter AU specifically, which means I'm also going to do a little nitpicking of some common tropes in it that I find could be done better or even differently. It won't be me saying that anybody who writes them in the traditional sense is bad or doing a bad job, just what I'd do differently. So, without further ado, check out my mish-mushed ideas below the cut:

It all starts with the Creator Themsleves, aka, us. Or, rather, us before we became us. Not making sense? That's fine, but lemme delve into that a little better. Game lore-wise for this AU, there actually was a fully existing, fully breathing Creator that's been around since even before the Archons (but not by too much; Zhongli's still no spring chicken in spite of this). Yes, they did create Teyvat and all that's good in it like the flora, the fauna, and the creatures, and they had a close bond with said Archons not just as people serving, advising, and worshipping their God/ruler, but also in a legitimate friendship (so, no, they're not 100% subservient or gutless ass-kissers-- it's more of an equal dynamic). Maybe one Archon of your choice (within reason) being close enough to the point of being (secret) lovers, if you'd like. Such explains the Archons' deep attachment to the Creator, and their eagerness to see them again after tragedy-- like, say, the Cataclysm that razed Khaenri'ah-- renders them comatose and not to awaken again until present day. Until then, the Creator's body lies safely in sleep like Princess Aurora within their main temple/palace, occasionally visited by their old companions (minus Ei, who's in her hidey-hole until the Inazuma AQ's, but that goes without saying).

But, just before they do wake up, here comes a little (presumably Celestia-sent) POS known as the Imposter, who worms their way into the temple where the Creator lies, steals their garbs and replaces them with normal, less divine attire before sending their body far away apparently never to be seen again and lying on that resting spot acting as the Creator on the verge of waking up. And since no one knows what really happened, it looks like the promised day has come without issues, and the Imposter is welcomed by nearly all back to a throne that never actually belonged to them. As for the actual Creator... they're in good hands, because Teyvat would never mistake another for the All-Parent that breathed life into it and acts to protect their body hidden amidst nature in whatever region they landed in (your choice) until they really do wake up.

And when our in-game body does wake up, our real-life consciousness is transferred into it and overwrites our old, godly memories with our normal ones. Since I can't stand isekais that require us dying an early death IRL (like, at all, actually), we're either magically transported to Teyvat the old-fashioned magic way, or part of our consciousness goes into our in-universe body and leaves our physical forms in reality alone, thereby creating two versions of us going around two separate worlds. For better wording, that is, but that's the gist of it. Either way, we're the real deal Creator, but one without our old memories (apart from short visions we get of our old divine life that come up every now and again) as far as everyone else in Teyvat is concerned. They're not totally wrong, anyway. I was thinking this could be justified to everyone by our "past self" saying pre-slumber that they will reawaken without the knowledge of this world (aka, the Genshin one), but it will still very much be them/us.

By the way, when we stumble into the main town or city of whatever region we wound up in, the locals don't just immediately attack us for looking like the Imposter. While sometimes, I do enjoy kicking back and enjoying pure angst, I otherwise found that aspect of Villain/Imposter!SAGAU to be, comment dit-on... absurd, especially with nobody in Mondstadt (outside of that one nun not buying it and simply scolding him) giving two honks about Venti despite him looking like (being) Barbatos, and nobody in Liyue even noticing the resemblance between Zhongli and Rex Lapis/Morax. And given how much those nations revere their god, the argument of us being a higher deity cannot be made. So, instead, at absolute worst, people are just really unnerved by the uncanny resemblance we have to the Creator, but otherwise don't get alarmed... until the Imposter catches wind of us and changes that. The reason people start attacking us at all is because the Imposter weaves a forewarning of the Creator's antithesis equal to them in power known as the "Destroyer" will descend on Teyvat, attempt to steal the throne using the Creator's face, and do worse to the world than the Abyss Order ever could try to if not stopped. And, this may sound like something they just made up to get us killed, but in a way... it's true, only issue is that the acolytes + citizens have the wrong idea of who's who, of course. Plus, the actual, all-powerful Creator, if pushed too far by say... an incredibly lengthy and traumatic manhunt after being mistaken for the Destroyer, is capable of tearing the world limb from limb, because those who create can as easily destroy, but those who destroy can never create.

Speaking of "all-powerful"... why are we always completely powerless in these SAGAU works apart from crying and/or getting really angry (which ARE realistic and valid reactions to the shit we're going through, but it's not mutually exclusive to getting cool abilities)? Because we're not actually from Teyvat? Even Aether and Lumine have the power to wield the elements despite coming from somewhere else, and for us to not get that same honor is frankly dull as dishwater. That's a lot of missed potential to dip into the fantasy aspect of a fantasy game like Genshin Impact. It's here I'd like to take some inspiration from a show I've enjoyed for years known as none other than "Avatar: The Last Airbender". Not to mention, the term "avatar" generally refers to a "divine incarnation in human form", hello??? Ahem! In other words, instead of being completely incapable of defending ourselves, we-- being the almighty Creator-- are able to wield all seven elements at once, but we have to gradually learn how to effectively use and master them. We do start with one element (any of your choice), then work our way up in order of the loading screen. IE: say your element is Cryo, you'd have to go Geo -> Pyro -> Hydro -> Anemo -> Electro -> Dendro. Such was the same in our past life, but we had the Archons to teach us and help us master those abilities through time.

Which means now, we need other people to help us do it again in our new "incarnation", and that's in the form of 5-star Vision holders since they fit the bill of "master" a bit better, being the rarer, stronger characters and junk. Of course, this is likely with discretion, because some might not be wise to learn from (such as Klee, funny as that'd be). I'm also discounting learning from the Archons because not only has our time with them from the previous life passed, but I don't find it fair to learn from a powerful god of that element, even if we're a god ourselves. It's more balanced learning from someone beneath that level (so, yes, an adeptus would still qualify). Also, important note here: not every single playable character is going to try and kill us for the Creator-Destroyer thing. NPCs are one thing because, let's be real, they're sheep, but it isn't realistic or in-character for everybody playable to want us dead. While a fair chunk would probably be on board for the sake of not letting the world blow to smithereens (and not because, you know, Same Face Syndrome, because that's completely insane), some might not outright believe the alleged prophecy for one reason or another, such as not being fond/trusting enough of the apparent "Creator" to just listen to them right off the bat, or getting to already find out who the real Creator is and knowing we're not the enemy. Whatever the reason is, we're going to have allies, including ones that join us in our quest to defeat the Imposter and take back the throne to restore balance to Teyvat. This can also include those who initially sided with the Imposter, but for one reason or another such as seeing our gold blood, they have a change of heart and tag along for the ride. For us to just go about Teyvat on the lam with nobody having our back is just... depressing, and not even in the fun way, either. I understand this faction of SAGAU tends to be purely angst-based, but come on, it doesn't have to all be a total bummer all the time. There's no rule that says we can't go through the angsty, heartwrenching stuff with traveling companions to call our own there for us through it all.

Now, of course, whoever those traveling companions are is really up to you because not all of us are gonna wanna tag up with and learn from the same bitches as the next guy. So, it's anybody's game with anybody's reasoning and circumstances (such as which region we wake up in, who our first companion(s) would be there, then which region we move onto, and even what element we have to learn next). Also, fitting the max. number of characters you can have on one team, it'd just be four actively traveling alongside us through Teyvat with other allies remaining where they are, whether they helped us master an element or not. But, no matter anybody's personal tastes and choices, I really wish there was more of a thrilling "fantastical group adventure" kind of element to this genre of SAGAU, because the potential is there, just-- seldom reached, from what I've seen, personally. I'd be more than happy adding onto this with anything I might have missed, but that's basically the gist of my view of this AU.

[sapphia]

no actually you know what? fuck jack black. i get that he was put in an awkward position, but this pretending that we wouldn’t be better off with trump dead is stupid and actually dangerous. many people DO wish that bullet had killed him and that’s perfectly justified and rational because trump is an evil, corrupt despot.

and fuck him for being another american cancelling another new zealand gig, especially over american politics. australia too, because we just don’t get that many gigs down here. but nz really does get fuck all, and after not getting anyone here for 3 years due to covid, now everything is open again, we’ve had a spate of bands cancel last minute largely because they decided it wasn’t worth coming — I’m not even exaggerating, it’s been like 10+ concert cancellations just in the past year . The Weeknd, Morrissey, David Kushhner, Justin Bieber, just to name a few of the big ones, and my personal bugbear is when Blink-182 publicly cancelled their South Island gig two weeks out, when they’d known it wouldn’t happen for over six months, and it was entirely and blatantly to play another Australian gig where they could make more money.

None of which I expect Jack Black to be fully aware of, because who’s paying attention to NZ, right? But that is the point — we’re involuntarily strapped into this wild ride of American politics, which not only affects us but is actively being imported by our own right-wing politicians, despite having no say in the matter and almost zero input beyond the ability to express our general international disapproval of the candidates. And now we get our Tenacious D concert cancelled because someone shot Trump, missed, and obviously everyone with a brain is disappointed he didn’t die?

But heaven forbid you *say* that.

It’s dishonest, it’s american-centric, it’s policing the left in ways the right will never police themselves as fucking always, and it’s just another example of allowing Republicans to dominate the conversation and present their batshit-insane candidate as a normal nominee. Most fucking candidates don’t get shot by their own party supporters. Maybe ask why that happened before complaining that the Democrats are sad he missed.

Cancel culture only exists for the left.