#my partner took my car to get an oil change when i was at work

[stephanievex]

Being with someone so thoughtful is so nice it's crazy

[usertiff]

the worst part about disability and struggling, is that the struggle just seems to continue, and honestly? get worse and worse. so yes, i know, like, "hey, it's me again! needing help..." but as my wait for disability/SSI continues, the harder and harder it is getting to survive. i'm on the verge of losing my home and my car (that transports me to health appointments and my partner to work). like many others in america, they took away our food stamps. to make things harder, as you may know, my mom has recently had 2 heart attacks and 3 different surgeries, which has only increased my struggle by tenfold, because instead of paying certain bills, we had to use our very limited income to pay for gas to get back and forth from the city hospital (3hrs away) multiple times, bandaging and other medical expenses her insurance doesn't cover, and things of the like.

being disabled is catching up to me, being the caretaker for my disabled mom is catching up to me. i'm so far behind it's absolutely terrifying. under the cut you can find my more important bills and a breakdown of things i need.

i know that life is really hard for everyone right now, everything is so expensive and assistive programs are so depleted, so i definitely want to offer what i can for any help received. this idea was 100% inspired by lomapacks, and i did ask permission to use it before doing this! so here we go.

how much do i need? basically i'm $2,291.11 behind in bills, plus have literally nothing for food or gas, which if we add it up for a month or so would then be like almost $3k.

how does the raffle work? for every dollar spent commissioning, you will earn an entry! for every dollar donated of good will, you will earn 3 entries! example, if you order $15 worth of gifs (150 gifs), you will have 15 entries! if you donate $15, you will have 45 entries! (or if you donate $1 = 3 entries, $3 = 6 entries, etc)

what are the prizes?

first place: 1500 gifs, 5 manips of your choosing, 1 crackship gifset

second place: 1000 gifs, 3 manips, 1 crackship gifset

third place: 500 gifs, 2 manips, 1 crackship gifset

every single person that commissions or donates gets: 1 manip

when will the raffle end? the raffle will continue until i've reached the massive goal, so it really depends on how quickly i can climb out of this financial grave! i'm hoping that it can be as quickly as possible!

what do you do to join? you can find my payment info below to donate or commission. if you plan to commission, please message me first so we can sort out what it's for/how much! then, please fill out the form in the source link when payment is completed. :)

when will everything be delivered? commissions will be completed in the order they were received, and delivered as soon as i can possibly get them done. once the raffle ends, the raffle prizes will be delivered upon your request for them and completed as soon as possible! i will try to deliver the manips for everyone same-day!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, FOR SHARING, FOR BEING KIND, AND FOR GIVING ME ANY TIME OF DAY.

payment information:

kofi! https://ko-fi.com/tiffanyvalentine

paypal! selinaaakyle@gmail.com

venmo! oraclelauren

cashapp! $selinaaakyle

amazon wishlist! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/259VCVX9R5LCS?ref_=wl_share

so, here are screenshots of the most important bills i'm behind on.

RENT (update is the top screenshot, i have late fees)

CAR PAYMENT

UTILITIES (2 mo overdue, power will be shut off soon) PAID!!!!!!!!!!

other important things i don't have screenshots of:

some things are on my amazon wishlist like my cats special food.

FOOD: we have no food stamps. the need for food money will not necessarily end. food banks only provide so much.

car maintenance: overdue for oil change and the brakes are squeaking badly (oil change is like $50 around here plus brakes idk maybe $80?)

gas: to transport myself to health appointments and my wife to work.

[crimsonblackrose]

.

I wonder if the gave the guy who kinda bullies Kreese the same type of banana boat car that Mr. Miyagi drove and then gave Daniel on purpose.

I think it's supposed to be yellow but with the filter they put over it I'm not sure. No, I pulled up a shot I took of the banana boat and it's the same interior and everything.

Kreese's mom killed herself.

Kreese I was bullied and the worlc was cruel so I became a bully and cruel myself.

Everyone is back to white belt. And there's a bunch of kids now.

There's also a new girl.

Which is wild to me. What parent would be like, oh man there's so much violence right now with karate, a kid got put in a coma, let me enroll my kid in karate. ????

Lol and this is from your pale friend demetri. 🤣 Carmen, I adore you. She also listened to everything Demetri said, like don't leave it near the window because the plastic isn't uv resistant. Such a Demetri little caveat. Looks like an issue of Dungeon Lord, which Demetri loves but no clue if Miguel likes it.

That's from the LaRusso's.

Where's sensei? Well he was there, he bashed his head into a corner of a metal paper towel dispenser because he had no other way to see you, talked to you before he was caught and kicked out again. Now he's trying to find his son.

How far away is this place that Shannon's at that Johnny fell asleep? Though who knows, dude might just be exhausted from punishing himself.

Daniel keeps advil in the glove compartment. Daniel, you live in LA why would you keep medication in the glove compartment. Medication is affected by temperature. With the LA heat, that stuff probably doesn't work as much any more or it's changed.

Yoga, painting, trays of breakfast. Nice rehab: Malibu Canyon Recovery.

Lol I mapped it, it's only 16 minutes away from Reseda. Johnny's just exhausted.

She totally thought Daniel was dropping of his partner for rehab.

Shannon's journaling, Amanda sent her lavender essential oil helped with her insomnia. She's also going to kudos and concerns and has a life coach. She wanted to look for Robby but was advised against it.

man this must suck for Johnny. Daniel at his core is someone who wants to help people and he's helping pretty much everyone around him, but spent so much time fighting Johnny when Johnny wanted to just run his business. Like Daniel was Daniel at his core in episode 1. With the car. But between that and this point, except for the occasional run into each other because we have to via Amanda, the don't get along.

Johnny don't knock it, it's working for her, let it work. Plus 99% sure it's not her money but Daniel's.

Johnny's vacation idea was a monster truck show and he loved Truckasaurus.

They're bickering, they always bicker. I'm glad Shannon stood up for her rehab though.

Kreese you are too giddy about this trick. Bert named him Clarence. Rip Clarence.

This is messed up Kreese. Bert should've taken that hamster and run. But he uses it to weed out the kids from his dojo with soft hearts, which is pretty much all the new kid kids I spotted.

It is a pretty snake. But still, messed up Kreese.

Poor Bert. He's been kicked of teh team.

Hawk is the new Miguel. But like Kreese's Miguel at least for the moment.

Kreese decorated with war photos, military photos and a grenade????

The interior of Tory's apartment looks an awful lot like Johnny's and Carmen's apartment interiors. She's in apartment 2.

Tory's mom is on dialysis

Apparently the reason why Tory isn't in more trouble is because she's taking care of her little brother and mom. And she's already working doubles. She also has a probation officer and this guy is such a creep. He essentially is saying pay rent or sleep with him which she's still a minor. She's got community service hours, probation and studying for her GED.

Robby's 'friends' are in juvie and I think they're there because of their fight with Daniel. RSP is the name of the place. They're now scared of Mr. LaRusso and I guess not so much of Johnny because he showed up already beaten up.

They'd scam people at Tech Town in Panarama City.

I hate that the doctor had this conversation with Miguel's mom on the other side of his window and not somewhere private like his office.

Johnny being annoying with the corn nuts. 😂

A lead, what are you Tango and Cash, movie recommendation I guess from Amanda.

I love that Johnny knows the reference but thinks he has to lean over and talk to Daniel's lap to say hi to Amanda.

Johnny: I'm not lying to your wife for you.

And we've lost 1 corn nut in Daniel's car.

Kreese is going to let Tory attend classes for free. How very...Miyagi/Daniel of him.

Betsy's abusive ex's name was David. I really want to know which college he's supposed to be attending, but I can't tell with the letterman.

Lol David punches his friend.

young kreese to betsy: Need a lift, then back to modern day with Johnny getting gas with a sign that says lift. I see what you did there.

Daniel's to good for gas station food. I have no clue what Johnny asked for, almost looks like a churro.

Hey look at that, Amanda told Daniel to tell Johnny something and he actually did.

amount of corn nuts lost in Daniel's car: unknown as the whole bag hit Daniel in teh face and they flew behind him as Johnny peeled out of the gas station.

And Johnny broke Daniel's mirror. Bud, even if he's got insurance, Johnny that's still arguably a hit and run because you hit someone else's car, and insurance probably won't cover it because you were driving on the wrong side of the road when it happened. Sure, you're covered arguably by permissive use, but still, that was technically a hit and run.

Another great fight scene! Daniel's got the brain cell because this time Johnny's on papa bear mode, of where is my son.

Johnny pushes Daniel out of the way, but that also means the guy with the chain can fight Daniel.

Another guy goes for Johnny's neck, but this time with a chain. Whose keep score? I lost count. Third time? Fourth?

Hey look a sucessful: Duck. Daniel ducked and Johnny hit a guy with a wrench, which ow.

Oh hey, Daniel's in his first choke hold of the series.

Amazing team work.

Yes, Johnny should've stopped, but at the same time Daniel you didn't stop when you thought Sam was in danger or calm down even when Johnny tried to ask you to.

Johnny is right, you included Johnny on it. Saying you can't believe he taught kids isn't fair. This is his son. You'd do the same for Sam, you literally did before. And Johnny is going through it. Saying look how Robby turned out isn't quite fair to Daniel because again, what happened to Miguel was an accident. But this...

That's a low blow Daniel. Uncalled for. Which Daniel like instantly realizes because Johnny just completely crumples at that and takes the van, now his van because he never returns it, and leaves.

Sometimes Daniel's just...mean.

This is one of those moments where I go: GO GRANDPA KREESE GO!

Also whoever did the transitions, while I saw what you did last time, hate this one. Hate it so much.

I want to know what the arrangement is? Free rent? Or just a buffer for this week.

That is a terrible lunch Miggy. A cheese hot dog, beans, carrots, green beans and something red.

Johnny kept his hospital bracelet from last time so he could sneak in.

Surprisingly 100% the truth. He also got into a fight with two guys in a parking garage, but he also did take on the paper towel dispenser.

lol he's just listing them off. Couple goons at chop shop, paper towel despenser, some dudes in a parking garage. Guys just picking a fight with everything and everyone.

😭😭😭😭 He did what he was taught, showed mercy and now he might never walk again.

MIGGGYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Robby's eating with Shannon. Looks like he's eating a half eaten sandwich. Poor kid probably hasn't eaten in days.

Awww the way Robby curled in on himself, scared then made himself smaller when he saw Daniel.

Robby, again, accident. Any one of the other fights could've ended up even more terrible. You didn't realize the railing was right there. You were scared and terrified and horrified but what happened.

First thing he wants to know after apologizing and promising to pay Daniel back for the van is to ask if Sam is okay.

I do appreciate that Daniel tells Robby that everyone's worried about him, even his dad. and then apologizes to him and promises to help him. that he talked to a lawyer and tries to explain the reduced sentence, but of course Robby hears the police coming first and feels betrayed. "You just kept me talking so I wouldn't leave."

Daniel promises to visit every day. But that trust is broken.

Johnny had multiple classes of students he trained and cultivated, and Kreese has kicked all but these ones out.

Kreese calls Betsy Doll-face.

He's off to basic training in Monterey (about a half hour away)

Kreese monologuing very quietly while all the kids are shouting. 😂I get that it's supposed to be them listening to it, but with how loud they're shouting, I kinda doubt they'll hear him at his conversation level of speaking rather than speaking louder.

[timaeusterrored]

(Mmmmmm Mechanic Venus time. Thank you @vincentmatthews for putting the image into my head it won’t leave!!)

Kerry and Vax were shameless, and Kerry was 100% sure he and Johnny had both rubbed off on Vax with the way he stared at Venus over his coffee cup, drinking some tea he picked up from Misty’s shop yesterday.

Both of Kerry’s partners knew cars like the back of their hands, which was probably a good thing considering Kerry drove like a fucking maniac and needed his car tuned every now and then. But Venus really loved cars. Kerry was willing to bet he considered car his second love, or maybe he and Vax were second and cars were first.

But god sometimes Kerry forgot Venus was a nomad through and through. The city made him anxious, he begged Vax for jobs that got him back into the Badlands, he was always up before either of them were awake and ready to kickass at six am. Vax had grown up in the city and had the same odd love for it as Kerry did, and the luxury life rubbed off a bit because he slept in more often than not now and took his sweet time in the morning.

“You think he knows we’ve been watching him?” Vax asked, still shamelessly staring at Venus bent over his car.

“No, he’s on a date with his first love. We’ll be lucky if he talks to us before dinner with that level of concentration.” Kerry teased, nudging his husband. “You’ve turned shameless.”

“Not my fault we’re dating the dictionary definition of Eros. I’ve got amazing taste in men, what can I say?” Vax shrugged, Kerry rolled his eyes. When he turned back, Venus was looking back at them, smiling with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth.

This kid was going to be the death of them. And he knew it too, Venus was fully aware of the power he had over them. And Kerry wasn’t about to stand by and let him be smug about it.

Vax laughed as Kerry walked outside with a purpose. Venus was already wiping his hands off, still grinning as he was pulled closer once Kerry was close enough, sweat and oil be damned.

“One of these days you’re gonna drive us insane.” Kerry heard the footsteps his husband behind him, Venus still grinning at him.

“What if that’s what I want? To have two attractive, rich, and powerful men fawnin’ over me like I’m some pretty thing.” Venus took the toothpick out so he didn’t stab Kerry (something he’s done several times on accident) to give him a kiss.

Unlike himself and Vax, Venus didn’t smoke regularly. He’s smoke weed with the two of them and maybe steal a cigarette at a party but other than that, he didn’t regularly smoke. He tasted purely of the cinnamon toothpicks he chewed on while he worked, adding to his charm. Kerry couldn’t even smell cinnamon without thinking of Venus immediately.

Kerry wished he could’ve been warned before two gorgeous men entered his life at high speeds, he barely knew what to do with the first one and now here he was, he and Vax dating Venus together as the gods intended.

Venus groaned a bit and Kerry pulled back to look down at him. Their height differences were slight, Vax only an inch taller than he was, and Venus two inches shorter than Kerry.

“Hey boss?” Venus only ever called Vax that now to tease him and get him riled up. Kerry turned to his husband to see him leaned against the open garage door, head tilted to watch.

“Yes, Venus?” God his voice made Kerry knees weak.

“I don’t have a job today do I?” Venus already knew the answer, but liked asking to watch Vax struggle with his answer of ‘I’m your boss’ and ‘I wanna make you unable to walk the rest of the day’.

“Mmmmm not that I know of. I could probably find something-“

“You wouldn’t dare.” Venus narrowed his eyes at him, making V grin.

“You’re showering before you step foot in bed.” Vax started his walk back to the Villa, Kerry laughing as he adjusted his pants on his way in and looked back at Venus. “You heard the boss, shower first.”

Venus groaned again, but his tune changed when Kerry picked him up and carried him back inside.

[cloama]

I know I've been in here yelling about my finances for a while but this is my blog and I'm experiencing a new level of working poverty. This shit is stressful.

Friends I don't need any more help. I promise. Thank you for chipping in last time. I just need to vent. I'll holla tho.

I no longer make enough money to live, despite working 45 hours a week. The price gouging relabeled as inflation has whipped me so badly that after 17 years of avoiding a second job, I finally have no choice and need to get one.

I literally cannot afford to live without more money. I could fucking cry. I'm already tired and my knees seem to be abandoning me. It's getting cold up here already and that means I'll be driving at night in the cold dead winter for this evening job. I'm fucking devastated. I cannot overstate the things I've done to avoid a second job. I didn't get a car for 15 years. I lived small. Only lived in utilities included places. I've literally never had an electric bill. I ate only smothered vegetables and rice with smoked sausage for a while. Anything to remain in my home in the evenings after I've done my 8 hours. I meant that shit.

Anyway, more labor is unavoidable now. I have a second interview on Friday. With this gig, I would be leaving my day job to go straight to this it for 4 hours then pour myself into bed around midnight. Back up around 5/6 ish.

I made it through last month by the skin of my teeth. Payments are now due again and I'm getting bank return notifs bc my fuckass employer switched payroll companies without warning now I get paid on a different day. It threw my very delicate spreadsheet-backed budget into disarray. I don't like playing it so close. I need a brake job, an oil change, and everything else to winterize my car as it can snow as early as this month. I need to get the rest of my belongings shipped post-move. It's been 3 months. I don't want to leave my stuff in Louisiana.

Wish me luck on this interview. I need this job pretty desperately. Part of me hopes that by talking like this, I'll get it. I almost took a dishwashing gig at the restaurant down the road but that is for the local kids. Can't be taking date money out of their hands...I might tho...if this doesn't work out.

Friends have asked why I don't just tutor again but...like, I work really hard all day. Lots of problem solving and emotional labor. Also my first job ends too late to allow me to tutor and I'm not giving up my weekends. That's when I cuddle my partner and remember why we choose to keep surviving. It's non-negotiable.

[otter1962crystalball]

White Picket Fence and all! - Part 1

June 8, 2024

In my other blog about my cancer experiences I wrote:

“Mouse, in Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin, said that you could have a good job, a great place to live or a boyfriend, but never the three at the same time. Well, I did several times in my life, but each ended for various reasons; some having to do with my issues and some from his.”

https://www.tumblr.com/otter1962/187033388033/boyfrienddo-you-exist-for-an-old-guy-with-cancer?source=share 

My Pride Blog for June 8th is about an early relationship that had so much potential but came to an end due to something next to trauma for me.

I’ve mentioned my escapades in the early 1980’s. I played the field with a lot of zest, but that’s not the focus of this blog. I had been employed at a major oil company in Calgary. In retrospect it was a great job and had potential, but I made a mistake and took a job with a software company that supported oil and gas companies. This company was run by a very WASPish man. I sent him my resume and he hired me - at substantially less than what I was making at the oil company. To make a long story short, the man was convicted of rape. Before that, he had let me go without much notice. There I was, suddenly without an income. I had to go on employment insurance. To supplement the EI, I took a job at a local bar in Calgary, called Trax. I was a busboy. I made decent tips, but knew I wanted more than cleaning up booze glasses and cigarette ashtrays.

One night, a man whom I had met at a party months before turned up there. For the sake of convenience, I’ll call him “Joe.”  The man had been with his boyfriend at that party so was off limits for me. When Joe came to the bar, he made it quite clear that he was interested in me and that he was single. I was over the moon because he was such a handsome man. He was also a professional in a job that involved a lot of creativity and skill. I immediately admired his skills and found that being with him was fun in and out of bed.

We saw each other on a regular basis and I landed a job due to Joe in an indirect manner from someone who knew him. The job was direct competition to the software company run by the rapist. I took great joy in stealing his clients and moving them to my current company. I did such a great job that I ended up a Product Manager for the software I supported. 

So here’s the reference to Mouse in Tales of the City. I had the boyfriend, I had a great job and next a house with Joe. The house was a sweet little place and it had a white picket fence! I literally had all the three things that Mouse desired so deeply!

Then it all changed. There were two reasons - one I will discuss in the next blog entry and the second that Joe succeeded in getting a fantastic job in Toronto. In my mind there was every reason to go as well. We sold the house, quit my job and moved ahead of Joe to Toronto with the Bailey the dog and TC the cat. Joe arrived later and we stayed in the little studio apartment. Despite the high interest rates, we bought a house in Mississauga for the massive amount (for that time) of around $180,000. Again, I had a partner, a house with a fence and a job. I hated the sales job I got selling Micro Vax equipment. I was better suited for customer support and sales wasn’t what I wanted. I sucked at it because I was petrified of cold calls. I wasted so much time doing virtually nothing and one day came to work to find that my desk was gone and I was pulled into my bosses office and told that I was fired. So, Mouse’s idea could apply to me. I had no job. Then Joe and I split for a major reason that I will explain in the next blog. That meant the house went as well. I ended up with very little due to having lost my job. Joe walked away with a large sum and I was left to pick up the pieces - selling my car, finding an apartment and ending up on welfare. So, Mouse, I ended up with none of the three!

As I look back on the whole situation, I realize that I still love Joe very much and often dream of what would have happened if all of the situation hadn’t come to pass. It is now over 30 years since we split. He’s had a fantastic career and a great life. I don’t think he really searched for a partner in the years after me. I’ve been in touch with Joe and we chat once in a while. All the old issues have been set aside, but both of us have moved on. What strikes me is that I was so immature during that first major relationship of around five years. If I had the experience I have now, I wonder if the relationship would have survived…

For Pride, I am celebrating life experiences and how I got to where I am now. The white picket fence experience along with many others put me on the path upon which I am currently travelling. Right now, Mouse, I have a beautiful home (no picket fence), finished a 30 year teaching career as move into retire, but no boyfriend. I’ll be writing about as well at a later date.  All of those experiences, good, bad, mediocre, made me who I am today. The regrets did as well but I’ve come to let them go. In the next blog, I will go more in depth with the causes of our separation.

Happy Pride, everyone and as always, carpe diem.

[sofiadragon]

In order of weirdness for me as a certified American:

7. Ranch isn't... it isn't unlike tzatziki, but it is different. Creamy sauce/dressing but spiced different. I dislike both because I dislike most dairy, so I asked my partner. Ranch is more intense with sour cream as a base, very in your face, while tzatziki is much more mellow with greek yogurt as a base.

4. A garbage disposal is a machine that grinds up food scraps into a slurry to flush down the drain. No house with a septic system should have this, so my rural born self didn't see one until we got a house in town. In areas where they are legal (century old pipes in your town? Water shortage? Probably illegal to have) the waste treatment plants are likely to make fertilizer out of the, uh, "processed solids." Yeah, that sounds polite. So the pureed food scraps help with that. The city I live in now sends out info about the water services once a year reminding people not to put cooking oil, feminine products, or baby whipes down the drain because that disrupts the compost and causes clogs. You can do stupid stuff and clog the sink mostly by trying to put things in while it is off, but the main thing that will annoy your housemates is not cleaning it. Some citrus peel does the job, like from a squeezed lime or grapefruit, but if you don't do it it stinks so bad.

5. The red solo cup thing is a meme. It's a very cheap plastic cup sold in bulk so the solo cup brand just was what half of the house parties used when I was a kid in the 90's. We had paper cups, also, and solo cups come in every color of the rainbow. Red was just popular, so stores that only carried one color of the bulk packs carried red.

8. Lean staffing made this so uncommon, but there used to be one in most grocers when I was a kid. It would be some 15 year old or special needs adult bagging groceries for one lane (usually the one on the far side of the 10 items or less or the one close to the pharmacy if the store had one attached) and it's for mothers with small kids, the elderly, and so on. The USA might suck for supporting the disabled financially, but we have all the ramps and paying customer accommodation you can shake a stick at. Able bodied people in a rush were expected to tip this person a very small amount, usually the change from the bill. This person's other job was collecting carts, but that was 15 minutes out of every 2 hours or so. These days stores have so few employees that this is a luxury thing; the person collecting carts is likely stocking shelves, uloading trucks, or even working the deli or bakery counter. We don't often have a second person who bags groceries outside of luxury places like "Whole Paycheck Foods" stores anymore.

6. Cheerleaders are like gymnastics or dance, and I don't get it. I took dance classes for 13 years. I was in the color guard of my high school band. It seems like just a way to hold the attention of people who don't like football who are attending the game for some social reason.

2. This is just beating traffic. You get to the venue of a big event early and have snacks in the car while you wait. This evolved to bringing a big cooler and a portable grill and making a whole day of it. Everyone there has a shared interest (the game, concert, or whatever that is filling a stadium with 50,000 people,) public transit is an afterthought and 30,000 cars have to be parked, so why not just hang out in the parking lot having a pre-game party?

3. Sororities and Fraternities are just dorm rooms that are also social clubs. Makes perfect sense to me, and they tend to have stricter standards than the university or college. GPA and conduct requirements keep the crazy under a limit, supposedly, though this obviously has some issues with hazing and not every one keeps to their charter.

1. Summer camp is the American self-sufficient individualism at work. Kids at an age that people think they need to break off the last of that separation anxiety get to spend spend several days without their parents. Most I've heard of have the kids go home on the weekends, keeping the kids for 4 or 5 nights max per week. It's expensive, but can be a lot of fun for the kids. Many have religious ties, so you send your kid to a Jewish or Protistant or Catholic camp and part of how they put their activities together is at least tangentially related to those values if not explicitly about that religion.

[adamsarette]

Witchcraft turns depression into calmness

My brakes had began to grind.  I was able to come up with the money to get pads and a rotor. Now the brakes are working great again.

But... that isn't the amazing thing that happened. After I left from getting my brakes done when I was on my way home I decided to stop by one of those stores that sells crystals, sage and other magical items for the use in Witchcraft and in Wiccan practices. Not really expecting to buy anything,  as I don't have any money. Nut Just to window shop and for the memories, both Merrick(Temprace) and I and Dylan (Ukai) and I would go to these stores occasionally.  I have also for the past few weeks began studying and learning about Wiccan practices and witchcraft. As I was about to leave this young lady probably in her late 20's who was also leaving with her purchases brushed up against as I held the door open for me she stopped and looked at be a bit oddly then went out the door and I began walking toward my car and I heard a voice behind me and turned and she asked me if I was okay. I said I was... but she was persistent and said am I sure. I responded that life hadn't been the best recently. She asked if we could sit somewhere and talk, I didn't really have anywhere to go as I have been homeless for the past coupe weeks, so I agreed. We sat down and she asked if she could do a reading for me. she started with my hands looked at them for what seemed an eternity then while holding my hands looked in my eyes for a few moments. She then pulled out a deck of tarot cards and began shuffling them, she then did it a few more times just looking at the cards and re-dealing them and the re-shuffling and then re-dealing them.  She then looked at me and held out her hands again and took my hands looking intently into my eyes. She then said "Don't do it"... I said what... she looked at me and said. "I know you are hurting. I know that your partner left you. I know that you are having financial difficulties. I see big things happening very soon in your life. I see an old relationship resurfacing and I see your financial situation changing quickly in the near future". She then looked me in the eyes

again and said "you're a witch". I laughed and told her that studying witchcraft and learning about Wicca didn't make me a witch and that I was Jewish.  She said "No you are a witch" she then said on both sides of my family there were witches. She then said "Why do you think you are drawn to witches?" That made me think. My three best friends here in Phoenix are all witches. all my slaves since I have my First two slaves Merrick(Temprace) and Lilith(Silat) are witches and my last slave who I also married Dylan(Ukai) is a witch. She then said that I had some curses. She asked me to trust her and she said she would be right back. When she came back she had a sage bundle and lit it and and started to wave it around my body starting at my head and working it down to my feet. She then pulled out this bag with some small muffins and told me to eat one of them. She then put her finger into a jar and rubbed, I think, oil on my forehead. She then pulled out a small cloth sack and put it on my hand and told me to keep it in my pocket. She then asked if I had any colored candles at home  I said I did she asked if any of them were red or black. I told her I had bought some a couple when spouse and I had spent the night at a hotel together but that we had never used them. she said when I got home I needed to create a sacred circle and told me how and to set the red and black candle in a pot with water tie a string around them and light them and let water extinguishe the candles, she then gave me a piece of paper with a spell to recite as i lit the candles. she then said I shoud get some Hyssop and take a bath in it and handed me a puece of paper with something else to recite. I had some Hyssop from the same night with Dylan that I had the candles for.

I got home created the sacred circle lit the red and black candle  recited the spell and then ran a bath and put the hyssop in the water as it was filling up and recited the phrase on the second piece of paper then went back to the candle and watched them as the candle burnt down until it burned to the level of the water and then climbed into my bath and recited the phrase again and lay in the water until it was no longer warm. I realized as I was getting out of the bath that my anger was gone, my depression was gone. That I looked forward once again to the days coming and that I no longer wanted to end my life. The negativity is gone. The dispair is gone. The sorrow is gone.

I am now more eager to study Witchcraft and to learn about Wicca. I day that started with great pain and sorrow. A day that began with anxiety, sadness and depression now has peace and calmness

#Wicca, #Wiccan, #witchcraft, #Curse, #magic, #Magickal,  #Sorcery,  #Tarot, #Hyssop, 

[bobharveyroofing123]

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[cobaltsage]

I’ve been in the workforce 12 years. After a move to a place with an admittedly higher minimum wage, I now make… less than $3 more than minimum wage. At my highest wage ever. That’s when I was a market analyst for an e-commerce company deciding the prices you pay for your iPhone. I make 20 cents less now as a security guard. Before i got this gig i worked at a UPS and got Covid, which as an hourly employee, was not covered under any sort of paid sick leave. It’s not uncommon that I live paycheck to paycheck, and after a long run of my good will being taken advantage of, I now have to decide between paying my rent and getting my car ready for an emissions test due next month. I am surviving off 10 boxes of pasta I got as a free gift from my job since they bought them as part of an arts and crafts project that never happened - or at least so I am told. I owe thousands in back taxes I wasn’t able to pay or keep track of and now have no idea how to handle, but it’s still not a priority because I can’t afford to. Last week my boyfriend bought me shoes because I was too stubborn to let go of the pair I had been wearing nearly a decade, and I was so moved by the gesture I almost cried.

I’m not asking for money or handouts, but it’s clear that what I’m doing is not sustainable. Every week I send out a slew of resumes to opportunities that pay more, and half of who I hear back from are turn out to be skeevy as hell. 100% commission jobs that want you to put in the work but won’t even give you a wage while you’re on your feet, and reek of Multi Level Marketing by talking about recruitment processes and how much money you *can* make instead of being realistic, often run by the most unprofessional people you’ve ever interviewed with. Group interviews that have an industry plant that answers questions so cookie cutter of what they think all their applicants are, some Mid 20’s - 30’s woman with an MBA and 5-10 years of experience in a high level field looking for an entry position as a matter of opportunity. I don’t have a degree, but considering the array of skills and the minimal gaps in employment I have, I would hope it meant something to someone, but as of yet, there’s not a single opportunity I can trust more than I do my current position, and I can’t take such a big risk that I’d make both me and my partner homeless because I took a shot in the dark with something unreliable. I certainly can’t go back to school with my current salary, so the question is how long can I survive, and can I even do so? Kids are obviously out of the question.

Our system is unsustainable, and there’s no reason to try and pretend it isn’t. Half of it is about minimum wage, and half of it is about the air of greed that permeates our capitalistic society, every time minimum wage is raised, despite it being due to inflation in the first place, every company out there immediately lifts up prices to see if they can squeeze just a little more blood out of our dried corpses. I once could get a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese for 10 cents, I didn’t complain seeing it at a dollar a box, but this past year I watched it hit $1.25 and immediately felt a bloodlust I never have before. Cuts of meat are being reduced down to keep the price the same, or are just more expensive than ever. I watch as soda prices rise while the size of cans shrink, knowing full well the aluminum costs more than the drink in the first place, and that by reducing size, they’re selling more aluminum per drink. There is plastic in my blood and every human alive’s blood.

If you managed to escape this in any way, then count yourself lucky, and understand that luck can change at any moment. I was lucky to work early on in life, to save up, to have a normal home and family, to go to college - even at my own expense, to not be kicked out at 18 and to have my mother’s support well into adulthood. And yet I’m still here where I am now, wondering if I’m going to be able to afford to get my car’s oil changed or if I’m going to find myself halting that for a more important issue like breaking a bone or developing a condition. If I ever have to pay for meds, if I get Covid again and lose too many days at work paid or not. People like us deserve to have vacations, to have days we can just breathe, and that’s been stolen from us by unchecked commercial greed vying for every cent we own.

[misseviehyde]

DOUBLE-CROSS

Fap... fap... fap...

"Please Daddy... give me more Bimb-0, you don't want my big titties to shrink down do you?"

Fap... fap... fap

"I wanna be a busty slut forever. Give me more Bimb-O so I can keep being your whore."

Oscar groaned as his step-daughter Beckie's hug tits engulfed his cock. Coated with the baby oil she'd squeezed all over them for him, his cock slid easily in and out of the soft, warm, cleavage. It was like being in heaven as she jerked his cock off with her boobs in the back of his car.

They were parked in a deserted wooded area a mile from the road, but the illicit thrill of getting his dick pumped in public just made it even more exciting. The fact he was a cop and he was in his car was an even bigger turn on.

"Unnnnnfff" he groaned, his cock throbbing with every squishy pump of Beckie's jiggling tits as she squeezed and massaged her plump tit flesh around his dick.

"Yes Daddy... doesn't it feel so fucking good?" she giggled.

******

It had all started when Oscar had completed a drug bust and taken down two local dealers. He'd been skimming from criminals for years. Sometimes he'd keep the money, other times he'd take the drugs.

The dealers were stepping on the toes of a crime syndicate he took a bung from, so he took them out and ended up in possession of a drug he'd never seen before. Bimb-0.

He took the pink vials home with him - the synthetic superdrug was worth a huge amount of money. It had been his intention to sell the drug on but Beckie had interfered with his plans.

He'd only left the vials out on a counter for a few minutes whilst he washed blood off his hands - but when he came back it was to find his bookish step-daughter clutching her tummy and groaning... an empty vial next to her.

"Ohhhhh fuck I feel so fucking good," she panted and Oscar watched in amazement as Bimb-0 raced around her system and changed her.

Her ass inflated and her hips cracked out. Her flat chest began to swell - her formerly invisible tits now ballooning out of her body as blonde streaks raced through her hair and her eyes turned a sexy blue.

Clothes ripped and tore and Beckie giggled as long nails sprang from her fingers and with a hungry cry she leapt on her step-daddy and began to suck his cock.

The transformation was still completing as Oscar nutted into her mouth - her new blowjob lips sucking every drop expertly out of his cock.

Beckie was now a bimbo-whore and Oscar couldn't be happier. In return for sex he bought her whatever she wanted and Mommy was soon relegated to the spare couch as father and stepdaughter became sexual partners. Ploughing her tight creamy bimbo body felt so amazing and Beckie made him cum harder than her Mother ever had. Seeing the former innocent bookworm act like such a slutty bitch was a real turn on for Oscar.

Every few days Oscar would give Beckie a new vial of Bimb-0 to prevent the transformation wearing off. But after nearly two months he had run out.

Beckie thought he was holding out on her, and she'd insisted they drive to this deserted spot so she could convince him.

Oscar had already decided this would have to be their final fuck. He'd lied to her and said of course he had more Bimb-0, but the truth was he was out and soon Beckie would turn back to normal.

********

Oscar's head was tilted back and his eyes closed as Beckie gave him her final ever titjob. Soon she'd be flatchested again. It was a shame but that was life.

Suddenly the door to his car flew open and something cold clipped him hard on the back of his head. Strong hands were pulling him out of the car. He went for his sidearm, but it was gone.

His head spinning Oscar looked at the car and saw Beckie laughing, his gun in her hand. She'd removed it whilst she had been titfucking him and he'd never even noticed.

Oscar groaned as two burly men dressed in black entered his view... a third behind him.

"Sorry Daddy," purred Beckie. "I worked out you'd run out of Bimb-0 so I made a deal with the criminals you turned over. I'd lure you here and they'd take care of you. In return I get Bimb-0 forever."

Beckie giggled as one of the men tossed her a vial and she greedily drank it. "Mmmmmh oh fuck yesssss," she hissed as her body became even more slutty and hot. "This is the good shit too."

Beckie's tits got even bigger and her hair turned brighter blonde. She stretched happily - her enhanced bimbo body obviously pleasing her as she grabbed the nearest drug dealer and unzipping his fly began to suck his dick.

The last thing Oscar would ever see as he was cuffed and dragged into the woods was his treacherous step-daughter sucking cock and being fucked by two guys in the back of his car.

By tomorrow it would be a flaming wreck and no one would ever suspect what had really happened here, if they ever found anything at all...

[remarkable-ghost]

[kawaiijohn]

A short train of thoughts fic for 4/13

It's the anniversary of the thing that changed my life, how I met the most important people to me, how I found the people I want to spend my life with.

How I figured out who I am, who I like, and how it relates to the pride flags I decide to fly.

How I relate to the world around me and shaped my sense of humor.

It's the namesake of my blog, my online identity. I will never change it, no matter how cringe or childish it looks to me now.

Keep in mind I have refused, staunchly, to read the epilogues or interact with homestuck^2, this fic is what I wish had happened.

Here we go

A young man stands in his bedroom.

He looks at his hands and swallows.

It is not his thirteenth birthday, but he remembers it well.

He wishes he didn't, but without it, he wouldn't be the same man.

It was all so fun, at first, but childish glee turned to horror quicky. And the smell of frosting and baked goods were soon followed by smoke and ash and fire.

He closes his eyes and breathes- one thing he remains masterful of. He breathes, but phantom iron and oil coats the inside of his nose and he tastes it in his throat.

He opens his eyes.

He is still in his room.

He breathes in relief.

Thirteen years has helped with the painful memories. And so has the therapy.

Lots and lots of therapy.

The Rose of back then would have picked and prodded as to why it took so long, but the Rose of now is proud of him. He's proud of her as well.

How fucked is it that the shit they'd been forced to endure by an uncaring universe shaped them into what they needed to be? The hero's journey (God he only had a middle school Earth education still) is absolute horseshit.

If he hadn't already met a certain Troll or been a God himself, he'd refuse to believe any sort of God exists in the first place. But it doesn't mean much to him anyways, because he refuses to believe a higher power or fate or the universe or whatever the fuck is anything but caring or good after what happened.

According to Rose (and her wife), it happened to her grandparents too. According to her, they'd somehow decided to continue celebrating holidays that honor God after enduring Earth's darkest tragedy but remained atheist up until they passed when she was a baby.

Something about traditions being more important than belief, but it's not like their little group has many beliefs left besides what their parents taught them.

He laughs, she always tries to comfort him about that, but it doesn't matter all that much. Not when he's finally able to see the good that came out of the whole situation.

The memories have faded, but his friends remain vivid technicolor to his dull world;

The orchid bright of wretched tongues and the weird smell of a handmade scarf. Black and lilac and orange swapping in his mind like she swaps her yarn's colors.

The vivid ruby of heat and throbbing bass, the sound of laughter twinged with southern drawl. The sharp sarcasm and wit that flows naturally between them.

The toxic lime of petrichor and moss, the snort-laughter of a sister he didn't know he wanted. The comfort of babbling on about special interests and the semantics of bullshit fantasy science.

They're his rocks. His comrades. His partners in crime.

He's glad he got to meet them, he just wishes it would have been under normal circumstances.

He daydreams of waiting at an airport with an oversized sign that reads "Mr. Strider" while he wears his Groucho glasses and his dad chuckles beside him. Of picking up Jade from an airport after somehow managing to get a flight, watching her nap on the car ride home. Of flying out to New York and being able to see NYC before it became a pile of rubble.

He wipes a few tears from his eyes and laughs.

He's working on it- letting himself work through the grief of missing his childhood, losing out on everything people should have gotten, of how many people vanished because the universe decided it was time to die.

A young man stands in his bedroom.

He's glad he has the privacy to cry it out this time- that he has to hide up in his old bedroom, he doesn't want to worry his friends before everyone else arrives.

Having to hide from everyone is a huge improvement. Because it's better than spending another birthday alone.

He can hear someone walking up the stairs. He steels himself and dons the traditional party hat he makes sure to get every year.

"Hey ass hat, why are you sitting in the dark?"

"Oh, uh... hey Dave! Is it dark already?"

His boyfriend stares at him like he's grown a second head. "Dude you've been up here for an hour, Terezi said she's almost here and you have Roxy down there staring at the cake with actual stars in her eyes. No idea how the fuck she does that but it's real weird, like anime bullshit or something. Kinda makes me wanna see if it's genetic or some shit, give you the anime ugu kawaii eyes and see if it seduces you more or something."

Dave tries to drape his body over his, but he just snort laughs and pushes his boyfriend away. "Okay yeah that's pretty fucking weird, also you don't need to seduce me bro. We're in this for the loooooooong haul."

Their play fight is interrupted by another two people entering the room.

"I'm impressed that you managed to pronounce eight os in that, John. She'd be proud of you."

"Pfft Kanaya, we all know sky Vriska is real and watching at all times! She'd slap me over the head if I didn't at least try!" John responds from the headlock Dave has him in.

He looks and sees as the rest of their group crowds behind Kanaya and Rose in the doorway.

"Hey when did everyone else get here?" he asks.

"We've all been waiting on you, numbnuts! Terezi was the last to arrive and we come up here to see you pseudo black-flirting with our matesprit!" Karkat huffs.

"Boyfriend, not matesprit."

"WHATEVER!"

"John, are you actually okay? You've been up here for an hour..." Rose asks. "We all worry about you on your birthday, but we know you've been doing better lately. We just worry." She walks over to his bed and takes a seat, patting for him to join her.

He does, and Dave sits next to him, propping his long-ass Strider legs over their laps. It's not long before Jade hops up behind them and drapes over the back of him. And then Kanaya. Then Terezi, and Jane and Roxy, and soon everyone is on his childhood bed crowding him (even Dirk!! Wow!!)

John wipes tears from his eyes.

"You guys are too nice to me. I'm such a jerk sometimes and I really didn't wanna make you worry, but I always get this way on my birthday, this is just the first year we're all together and I'm not alone. I just didn't want everyone seeing me have flashbacks and ruin their day."

"Ruin our day? Chum, you're the birthday boy, if anything it'd be ruining Jane's day, and she's too caring to give a damn about that when it concerns stuff like that!" Jake mumbles from under Roxy.

"Precisely. We're here for you, whether you like it or not." Jane responds from behind Calliope. "Just don't be a jerk and leave us guessing, let us know you're not doing well next time."

"Dude if anything you're the most valid person to be having issues with his birthday. Who else of us had all of their planet fucking explode on their birthday?" Dirk muffles from under someone else. "Shit, your trauma is old enough to get it's name today, that's an accomplishment. Congrats to your trauma, let's name it something like "zoosmell" or whatever the fuck"

John starts to laugh but then feels the tears flow for real, not able to wipe them away fast enough.

The group pulls him in for a hug and he feels like things will finally be alright.

A young man sits in his bedroom.

It was 26 years ago that he was given life, but 13 years ago that he was given a name.

Today, on the 13th of April, he finally realizes his life is getting better, all with the help of his friends and family in a cuddle pile. He finally let's them see how vulnerable he truly is.

It may not be today, nor tomorrow, but soon this young man will be able to heal fully. For now, it is still his birthday, and there's a celebration to be had.

==> John: Celebrate Life with your Friends

[END]

[bump1nthen1ght]

I’m Still Hurting (Orc x Reader) Part 2

Pairings: Fem!Reader/Male!Orc

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Angst

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2107 words

Summary: You and your boyfriend establish a new normal

A/N: At long last, the highly requested part two! I had a bit of struggle coming up with a proper followup to the first part (which was part of why I left it with an open-ended ending in the first place lol). Little less angst this time, I felt these two deserved a little sweetness after the last chapter. Hope y'all enjoy!

Part 1

The first thing that caught your eye when you walked by the music store was the Grand Piano. It was gorgeous: Polished mahogany, a nice velvet seat, and keys that looked like they had never seen the sticky fingers of a curious 8 year old.

“Wow, is that new?”

You nod, admiring the old-fashioned air of the instrument. You knew jack shit about music, but even you could tell that this piano was an antique, one probably worth a good chunk of change.

“Must be. I’ve never seen it before and this place is on my way to work.”

Waruck hmms, pressing his hands up against the glass. His eyes sparkle when he sees the “Free to Play” sign right next to the piano. It probably reminds him of his Grandpa’s, the one he played when you guys visited his family for Christmas.

That was a long time ago.

“Want to go in?”

Waruck pulls away from the glass, eyebrows raised. He rubs the back of his neck and steps a couple feet back, trying to curb his enthusiasm.

“Uh, we don’t have to-”

“I don’t mind. It's been a while-” You pause, the slight-anxiety in the air making every casual word difficult, “It’s been a while since I’ve heard you play.”

Waruck smiles, small and polite, and opens the door of the shop for you. Before, he might have done a little bow and said “Ladies First” in a British accent.

But that was before, and this is now. Now, every comment is walking on eggshells, whispered tentatively and under your breath. Testing the waters for how comfortable you two could get around each other.

Still, it was exponential growth from two months ago.

--------

After your meeting at the coffee shop, you had asked Waruck for a month; A month of privacy, for you to collect your thoughts and feelings, to be alone for a bit. He had agreed immediately, shuffling out of the cafe with a hunched back and a melancholy air, but he had kept his promise. You took the time to focus on other things, shifting your relationship to the back of your mind and enjoying the day-to-day.

But a part of you felt a little bad, like maybe you were stringing Waruck along for an inevitable breakup. Getting his hopes up for an extra tortuous punishment that left a sour taste in your mouth. So on one brave Saturday night, you sent him a meme you saw on Instagram, one that reminded you of him.

That second month saw the two of you texting more and more frequently, sending little jokes, asking how your day was, so and so. Each week rebuilt a little bit more of that familiarity, that comfortableness. It finally got to the point where Waruck asked if you were free one weekend. He just wanted to get some lunch and stroll around the neighborhood for a bit. For the first time in a while, that idea didn’t seem too bad.

--------

The air is considerably cooler inside the store, a tiny bell ringing as a rush of air-conditioned air hits both of you. Waruck makes a beeline for the piano, his footsteps short and quick. You feel a smile crawl on your face; He always acted like an excited kid when it came to music.

Waruck plops down in the center of the stool, fingers lightly brushing over the keys in awe. You walk up the piano’s side, laying your hand on the wood and admiring the lack of smudge marks on the polished wood. Waruck tests out a G note and although the sound is short, it’s extremely pleasant. Waruck’s smile grows even larger.

“When I was a young boy…”

You mutter under your breath. Waruck chuckles, quickly continuing onto a G flat.

“My father took me into the city,” Waruck hums

“To see a marching band.” The two of you sing together, laughing a little bit too loudly and gaining a sharp look from the tired sales clerk. Waruck waves a little apology, but that playful grin stays on his face.

“Wow, that brings back some repressed Hot Topic memories.”

“Seriously. I can almost feel the book my band teacher used to thwack me with. Me and my buddies would sneak into the choir room and play that all the time.” Waruck’s fingers dance over a couple more notes, aimless.

You’ve always liked watching Waruck play. His fingers were so dextrous and controlled,  not to mention long and nicely articulated. He’d probably make good money from a hand-model side-gig.

“Want to take a seat?”

You shift your focus away from Waruck’s hands. He’s made space on the bench and pats the open space next to him.

“Yeah, sure.” You say, despite the fast pace your heart is now beating.

You keep a solid two inches of distance between your bodies, keeping your thighs together as to not brush your legs with his. It felt like a middle school dance, keeping a bible length away from your partner to avoid the disapproving stare of the chaperones.

Waruck nods, absentmindedly running his fingers up the scale. “Any requests?”

Immediately, all non-love songs depart from your brain. One of your favorite pieces sits on the tip of your tongue and your brain refuses to let it go. You shake your head.

“Nope. It’s all yours, music man.”

Waruck chuckles, a little louder and a lot more comfortable, as he sits deeper in his seat.

“Prepare,” Waruck cracks his knuckles, “to be amazed.”

You bite back a laugh. He’s still such a dork.

He starts to play, his hands easily finding the right keys, moving like a well-oiled machine. Your heart nearly skips a beat before it melts into a puddle of sentiment.

It’s your favorite.

The song brings back memories of your childhood, a rainy day in, and delicious food. It’s like chicken soup for the soul and you can feel any of the left over tension leave your body.

Waruck’s eyebrows furrow with concentration, but he has a large smile on his face, his large tusks peeking out from his lips. His arm stretches across the piano as the song hits its most fast-paced part. His biceps and shoulders lean more into your space, but the feeling isn’t unwelcome. It feels natural, as if his presence and yours is part of the piece itself.

Waruck’s thigh brushes against yours, but his pace doesn’t falter and neither does yours. You stay enraptured, watching how easily he slips into the music. You barely even notice how you have begun to lean closer to his side; Your mind says it’s to give his arms plenty of space to play, but it’s still far more comfortable than you are willing to admit.

How easy it feels, in the moment, to fall back into routine.

The song begins slowing to a stop, only a couple seconds left, when the sounds of the music shop return to you. A giggle from not too far rings discordant with Waruck’s piano.

Three girls stand not too far from you, watching with fascination as Waruck plays.

“Wow, he is so good!” One whispers to her friends.

There is nothing even remotely lascivious in their eyes or in their words, but a knife still twists in your gut. Your throat constricts as flashes of your bedroom, of unanswered texts, and a picture of a bar corner booth send needles down your spine and into your heart.

Is this wrong? Is this giddy feeling you have only distracting you from reality? Is it like this song, Waruck’s playing, beautiful but temporary?

“Ugh, I want what they have.”

“I know, right? How romantic.”

They’re wrong, you’re wrong, this is wrong; It’s fake, fake, fa-

Your eyes dart to and fro, trying to desperately avoid Waruck’s quickly overwhelming body heat and your audience, before it catches on the distorted shape of your reflection in the window.

The glass is old, slightly drooping, even the golden lettering of the music shop’s name looks dusty and sun-bleached.

But what is unmistakable is you and Waruck. Waruck, playing piano, and looking at you. Looking at you with the love in his eyes you thought had died, or had never been there at all. The group of girls stands in the background, small and out of focus.

And Waruck is staring at you.

“Are you okay?” Waruck asks, his warm hand on your shoulder.

You whip your neck around, almost getting whiplash.

You’re here, in the music store, with your boyfriend. He looks at you, brow slightly puzzled from your wild eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I,” You suck in a deep breath, “Sorry, I guess I got lost in my own head. That song gets me kind of nostalgic.”

Waruck pats your shoulder and you miss it’s heat when he pulls it back to his side. He smiles, but you can tell he is still slightly worried.

“No problem, I get it.”

You notice now how much closer Waruck is to you. His chest has shifted towards yours, the fabric of his shirt sleeve pressing against the skin of your bicep. Waruck’s knee absentmindedly knocks into yours, but the contact doesn’t sting or jolt you. Not even the continuing silence makes the situation awkward.

It’s nice.

“Do you want to check out the record aisle? They might actually have that piece on vinyl.”

Waruck gestures with his thumb to the piles of CD’s and records not too far from you two. You nod

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

--------

The two of you spend about an hour in the music store, pointing out hilarious cover art and admiring some vintage finds. Waruck even gets you to chuckle a couple of times, slowly bringing out his old cheesy puns.

Waruck’s missed this.

You two walk out of the music store at the tail end of one of Waruck’s jokes, you playfully punching his shoulder.

The two of you wander, in the opposite direction of your cars, for a little while. But Waruck hasn’t lost track of time; No, he’s soaking in every moment he can, every smile and lingering look you give him. Every reminder that this is real.

He spent a week agonizing over what he did. Stuck in silence as he gave you your space. His friends (His real friends, not those assholes from the bar) had offered to come by and keep him company, but he turned it down.

When Waruck got back into routine, it was slow-rolling. It was difficult to fight the instinct to check his phone for a good-morning text, or check your Instagram for any ‘post-breakup’ partying.

No, he had already broken your trust once. The least he could do was give you some time. Spend some hour not wallowing in self-pity, but actively make a change.

Waruck began to accept those invites to a chill hang out, playing some poker and sipping on beer with the gang. He played his keyboard when the thoughts got too loud and went jogging when the music wasn’t loud enough. He called his mom a couple of times, even sent his sister a  couple of texts to catch up. They hadn’t spoken outside of holidays for almost three years.

Maybe he was the one that needed time.

God, why did you have to be so smart?

“Oh shit, how long have we been walking?” You mutter, checking your watch for the time. Waruck turns around you, already knowing the answer was 27 minutes, exactly. The both of you were nearing the edge of the neighborhood, cafes and shops turning into residential suburbs. “Dang, time really flies, huh?”

Waruck smiles.

“With you? It always does.”

You give him a half smile, patting his bicep. “Oh my god, you’re such a cheeseball.”

Waruck winks and shoots you some finger guns.

“You know it babe.”

You giggle, checking your watch once more, face turning just a little bit.

“I should probably head back, I’m getting dinner with some friends tonight.”

A small part of Waruck yearns for more time, but he lets it go.

Space, this was about establishing space.

“I had a lot of fun today, Waruck.” You step a little closer, Waruck’s heart skips a beat.

“Me too.” He whispers, his breath catching as your fingers brush against his.

It’s a simple gesture, one you’ve down a million times. But when your palm slips into his, your finger’s interlocking, it’s like fireworks have gone off.

“Same time, next week?”

Waruck nods, not trusting himself to speak without a voice crack.

That’s all he needed, all you wanted; The promise of the future.

“Yes, I would love that.”

[weirdcultstuff]

I’ve felt numb for weeks now. It’s getting better but it’s not gone. Moving cross-country and finding a new apartment and a new job from scratch, starting over in a new place and moving in with my girlfriend hit all my old fears around lack of stability, and change.

It cost a lot to move, more than I expected. We went without a car for a few weeks longer than I’d planned. It was easy to worry if we’d find work, and an apartment, and a routine fast enough before the money ran out. We did! We did fine. We have monthly expenses and incomes now and we’re fine. But I worried. I had backup plans, backup plans for the backup plans, a savings account, friends, and I still worried. What if I get sick? Really sick. What if there’s an accident? What if….?

The new job is one I love, but was a difficult adjustment and the management is a far cry from the extremely lovely and supportive bosses I had previously. It took a couple months to get my schedule worked out. I still get a little anxious going to work, and I never did at my last job. But they’re paying for training, and I get overtime pay which I’ve never had before. I’m getting certifications that I can use in the next job, whenever it comes. It’s a good job. It turned out okay.

Living with someone I love is wonderful, but it brought up this weird thing of how I first found/created my identity by doing my own thing, making my own decisions based on what only I wanted. I’m so afraid to be codependent again. I’m not sure how to share decorating styles, grocery shopping, a bed. I worried I’d lose myself in a relationship, the way my mom kinda did. I worried I wouldn’t be enough, yknow? All I know about being a partner comes from what I was taught about how to be a wife when I was growing up and I don’t do half those things now, I don’t cook more than a few times a week, I leave my laundry on the floor a lot, I don’t defer all my opinions to theirs. But we’re okay. We’re good. I’m home with her, and it’s really nice. I was just worried, but it turned out kind of unbelievably good in the end.

I still felt numb. Ungrounded. I don’t know where to grocery shop. I don’t know where to go to the dr. I don’t know where Taco Bell is. I don’t know where to get my oil changed. I don’t know why I can’t text my friends back. I don’t know how I feel about my family now that I’m suddenly far away and missing them again. I don’t know what tomorrow will be like, I don’t know if I’m working too many hours or not enough. This might be the first year in eight years that I don’t work on Christmas Day and I don’t know how to do that, I’m scared it will be too much if I’m not at work.

But I have a water bottle now, and Im leaving for work in half an hour and I have my scrubs and I know where to stop to get a raspberry pomegranate Red Bull in a cup with a straw and where to stop to pick up my coworker who needs a ride. I know I’m going to be okay, and my worries are just worries.

I get up and I try again.

And I’ve always gotten up and tried again.

And it’s a good feeling to be reminded that I’ve got this. I can depend on myself to get up and try again, to make it better, to make it work, to make it okay. It’s gonna be okay. The fog will lift. I’ll make art. I’ll laugh. I made bread last night. I have stickers for my water bottle.

It’s raining and I’m getting up and I’m trying again and it’s gonna be okay. I’m not lost, it’s just fog. It will lift. I got this.

[jimlingss]

Maybe Baby Retreat

➜ Words: 12.7k

➜ Genres: 50% Fluff, 50% Smut

➜ Summary: In an attempt to conceive, Taehyung discovers a five day retreat dedicated to help with the impregnation process but you're fairly certain that the entire thing is a scam.

[Day One]   Taehyung should be fucking you.   It’s a bit crass to be grumbling that he’s not sticking his sperm in you, but your fertile window begins today and if he really wants a kid as much as he says he does, you wouldn’t be on a godforsaken bus.    The yellow school bus jumps and jolts as it goes down the jagged, unpaved road. Every bump is felt in the back by ten folds as you’re rocked from side to side on the seat and not on your husband’s dick. Said man is too busy singing along with the guide that’s living it up with a mic in hand and his voice on the intercom. He’s trying to bring up the morale, but you’re not having it.   Instead, you turn to the window and stare out at the empty countryside that stretches across the horizon. There’s not a car in sight and if you swear to god if you’re being shipped to a serial killer’s farmhouse, you’re dragging Taehyung down to hell with you.   “You’re frowning, sweetheart,” he says while leaning over to you, flashing a blazing grin much to your chagrin. “You know stress isn’t good for the baby.”   “It’s not like it matters. There is no baby.”   “Not yet.” Taehyung throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as you scoff. You’re aware being a Debbie Downer isn’t going to help anyone but it’s hard to loosen up when you’re so on guard and skeptical about this whole thing. When you’re surrounded by noisy strangers who are all too overfamiliar.   You suppose it was your fault to begin with.   All those nights of staying up to read about tricks and tips of conceiving led Taehyung to discover the Baby Retreat. A five day sanctuary that ensures people will be able to conceive.    The moment you saw it, you were certain that the whole thing was a scam, but your sweet summer child husband was wholly convinced and no matter what you said, it wouldn’t change his mind.   “Who knows, it might actually work, right?! And if it doesn’t, then it looks fun anyway! When was the last time we had a vacation together?”   It’s also your fault for being so soft. You couldn’t shut Taehyung down when he was so enthusiastic, so here you are. You took off a week off work and on your fertile day, you’re shipped onto a school bus out into the middle of nowhere.   “Oh! Looks like we’re here, folks!” The vehicle slows as it turns into the gravel parking lot and the guide smiles as he peers out the windshield. “Welcome to the Baby Retreat! I hope you leave with a few buns in the oven! And if not, then don’t worry, you can still eat for two here!”   There’s a few snickers and once the bus parks, everyone gets up, slowly shuffling out and stretching their legs.   The air is sweltering hot and the sun beams down onto the back of your neck, making it uncomfortable to breathe. You’re panting with sweat built on your hairline as you drag your luggage through the grass. But no one seems bothered by it. Maybe because they’re excited that they’re here, they have the energy to fill the field with their chatter.    Even Taehyung is grinning and he’s a certified whiner when it comes to hot weather. The guy blasts the air conditioner during summer until it feels like it’s winter. Though you have an inkling it’s just a tactic so you can cuddle up to him for warmth before bed.   “Come on, slowpoke!” Taehyung breaks through your train of thought and then abandons you by running ahead like a hyperactive five year old.    “I’d be faster if you helped me!” Taehyung doesn’t hear you. You wonder if you married a child — but you suppose that’s why you called him the light of your life during your vows. Like Yoongi once said at the dinner reception, Taehyung’s excessive energy is indeed a double-edged sword.   You follow the stream of people to the center building, a modern wooden structure in the middle of the fifteen yurts that form a circle. It surprisingly looks alike to the advertisements, each with a porch and steps up to the door. The grass is verdant and pliant beneath your feet, the numerous trimmed trees around providing some nice shade and the flower beds give bright splashes of colour to the place. If this retreat wasn’t oddly centered around impregnation, you would’ve been convinced that it was a fancy camping resort.   “Welcome everyone! Welcome to the Baby Retreat! I hope the trip here wasn’t too bad!”   You finally join Taehyung’s side and look towards the stage in front of the main building. There’s a man with a half-moon smile and chubby cheeks in a loose tunic and taupe pants. He stands next to a woman in a baggy poncho holding a ukulele for reasons beyond you.   “I see some familiar faces here! To all those already familiar with the Baby Retreat, welcome home. I’ll try to keep this short and simple, so you’re not too bored.” He claps his hands together with a bright smile. You look around at the crowd to see elated expressions. “My name is Park Jimin and this is my girlfriend, Song Hyunjin. A little about us, we’ve been together for over ten years and yes, we have an open relationship with each other, but that does not mean we aren’t in love with each other.”   He draws her in, nuzzling into her without shame and she giggles. “To our new faces, trust me, you’ll find out soon enough.”   Jimin pulls away with an enormous grin. “We haven’t had any children ourselves, but don’t worry. We’re reproductive endocrinologists with proper training and medical degrees. But we started this retreat four years ago to take a more unconventional approach to reproduction. And for the next five days, we have the honour of hopefully helping you ladies conceive and you males impregnate your partner!”   There’s some exchanged smiles and Taehyung looks at you with hopeful eyes. It feels better to hear these people aren’t uneducated and talking out of their ass, but you’re still unsure how to feel.   Hyunjin laughs. “Not only that, our goal is to help you relax and truly deepen your relationship with your partner. While we can’t promise a hundred percent success rate, hopefully you’ll leave this place feeling more refreshed than you did before. With that being said, please feel free to come up and ask us any questions. We’re very open people who are more than happy to help you in your process of expanding your wonderful families. There is nothing more beautiful than pregnancy and birth.”   She jumps off the stage and grabs a wooden crate. With a smile, she begins passing out packs.   Jimin continues, “For the next five days, we’ll be helping everyone improve their diets and exercise habits while getting plenty of vitamin D. What my lovely Hyunjin is handing out now are your survival kits!”    “For men, fenugreek supplements are given to improve your sperm counts and for the ladies, there are prenatal vitamins and folic acid. There’s also a guide to the activities provided around here and a map, some sunscreen and other knick-knacks to remember your time here. Don’t worry, we won’t bombard you with any pregnancy pamphlets or information. I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about that.”   It’s a bit refreshing to hear. You’ve been neck deep in research about conception that it’s been hard lately — another reason that you agreed to Taehyung’s whims.   “Are you the Kim family?” Hyunjin asks and when you confirm it, she hands both you and Taehyung cute pouches. You reluctantly take it, but when you thank her, she happily smiles. “Welcome to the Baby Retreat.”   The introduction drags on for a bit more before Hyunjin admits that it’s hot and that everyone’s probably tired, so the meeting ends and you open your pouch and find information on your yurt.   “Not too bad, right?”    Taehyung can tell by the look on your face as you gaze up at your white-tented yurt.   “We’ll see,” you mumble and he takes the luggage, following behind you. “I thought we were going to spend five days in an orange tent, so I guess this is better by default.”   “An orange tent?” He laughs. “But I showed you the commercial! Did you not pay attention?”   “People lie on advertisements all the time, Tae.”   But to your surprise, the interior of the yurt is even better than expected. It looks like a cozy cabin, wooden panel walls that separate the full kitchen from the full bathroom and provides some privacy to where the queen sized bed is. Light comes in from the top, filling the space with luminescence. There’s a mini-fridge filled with goods, plush towels set on the table with a personalized welcome card, down duvets that are soft to the touch.    And it’s wrecked the moment Taehyung jumps on the bed with his arms and legs wide open like a starfish. He rolls over and props his head up with his hand — in the position where he often asks you in a breathy voice to paint him like one of your french girls. And he uses the same voice on you now while wiggling his brows, “Wanna ruin the sheets with me?”   You burst out laughing, but it sounds all too tempting. He could probably dump a load in you within five minutes, though you’re not sure if anyone could hear you from the outside. “Didn’t they say there’s planned activities in an hour? What if we don’t show up.”   “It’s fine. People come here for one reason anyway.” There’s a pause. “To fuck.”   You roll your eyes, setting your suitcase next to the bed and you look at the nightstand to notice mineral oil lubricants. You’re mildly impressed at the details. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”   “They won’t miss us.” Taehyung’s own attention is taken to a wooden basket on a shelf of the irregular shaped bookshelf and he comes over, only to grin when he sees what’s inside. “Honey. I think we should have some fun tonight.”   You turn around, wondering what he’s up to now. But any snarky remarks die on your tongue when you find a leather whip in his left hand and a ten inch, neon pink dildo in his other hand.   “Is that...even sanitary?!”    You can’t imagine how many people have used it.   “We can find out.” Taehyung fiddles around with it, pushes a button and the dildo begins to rotate, making the both of you laugh. “Honey, we gotta give them five stars on Yelp! They have a communal sex toy bin for us to use! We can’t get this anywhere else.”   “Oh god. I’d rather not share my sex toys with anyone.” The two of you are interrupted by muffled folk music that begins to leak inside and it persuades you to go out. “C’mon, we should go check out what they have. If we have to spend five days here, we might as well meet some other people too and be social or whatever.”   Taehyung grins, tossing the dildo back into the basket and joining your side. “You’re liking this place, aren’t you?”   “No. I just think the yurt’s half-decent.”   Taehyung can see right through you, but it’s a bit too early for the ‘told you so’ spiel so he holds back and the both of you step outside of the yurt. There’s a few people hanging around and the weather is more bearable as the sun slowly begins moving and setting over the horizon. You meet friendly newlyweds who are surprisingly having their honeymoon here.   “We just can’t wait to have kids,” Rose, the young twenty three year old, says as she embraces her husband, Hoseok. They’re no strangers to publish displays of affection, openly kissing up on each other. It would make you a bit uncomfortable if not for how touchy Taehyung is as well.   When you first got together all those years ago, your friends teased you about it but it’s been years since. No one’s a stranger to how you plop yourself down on Taehyung’s lap or how he might kiss you and then steal your food right off of your own plate.   “When we saw that the retreat offered a honeymoon package, we just couldn’t resist,” Hoseok says, but you’re not sure if he’s talking to you and Taehyung or his wife with how much he gazes at her. It’s a sweet sight though. You remember that honeymoon period.   “Remember when we were that young?��� you ask as you leave to the other side, giving the couple some much needed privacy. It was obvious they weren’t up for more conversation with the way they’re shifting and staring at one another.   “When you were still hot? Yeah. I do—” Taehyung bursts out laughing when you jab him. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! You’re still hot, okay? The hottest chick here and you’d make the hottest MILF too.”   “Damn straight.”   The pair of you also run into another couple that’s older and appears a lot more comfortable with the place. “Oh, this is actually our second time here! The first time gave us the four year old troublemaker running amok back at home.”   You blink in surprise, suddenly more interested in the conversation. “This place...worked for you?”   “It sure did.” The woman, Dahyun, smiles. “Some people didn’t have as much luck as we did, but we had so much fun last time that we knew we just had to come back. We were actually staying in your yurt last time.”   She points and you swivel your head over, intrigued. “Huh.” Taehyung raises a brow, noticing how engaged you are and the corner of his mouth tugs.   Her husband, Seokjin, chuckles heartily. “We thought it was time to give our son a younger brother, so here we are! Tonight’s the welcome party and just a word of advice, I really recommend getting some of that grilled salmon. It’s absolutely delicious.”   “Just let them eat whatever they want, Jin,” his wife sighs in exasperation.   “I’m just saying! I would’ve liked to know last time — I would’ve gotten two plates before they ran out.”   “This is why the doctor told you to eat less of everything. You ate more than I did when I was pregnant with Youngjae.”   “I can’t help that I’m eating for three! For your information, I’m carrying the entire family on these broad, broad shoulders of mine. Soon, I’ll have to start eating for four.”   Dahyun turns to you and Taehyung who are amused at their bickering. “I’m sorry. Please ignore him.”   It’s not a bad place, at least not so far. You weren’t sure what you were anticipating, but on the entire way here, you were worried that it was a scam your poor husband fell for. Luckily though, it seemed like the accommodation is good and the people around are friendly and welcoming, coming from different kinds of backgrounds and walks of life. It makes you feel better about not having internet connection or being murdered in the middle of the night.   The welcoming party turns out to be fairly nice too, and like Seokjin said, the food is delicious.   It’s a buffet style with tables set out, full of what Jimin declares is antioxidant-rich foods. He and Hyunjin go on a tangent about the benefits, how soy and estrogen foods have been limited, how there’s an emphasis on fruits, vegetables, carbohydrates, proteins and folic acid, and you’re sorely impressed at the attention to detail they provide.   “Oh my god. The salmon is amazing and have you tried these beans, Tae?!”   Taehyung laughs as he watches you eat, eyes lifted to look at you across the rounded table. “I thought you hated beans.”   “I do. But try it.” You lift your fork and he happily leans over, taking a bite. He swallows it down and smiles at how you stuff your cheeks.   After dinner, the pair of you gather with the rest to watch a few performances held on the main stage. Jimin introduces other staff members who sing, dance and Hyunjin even does a number with her ukulele, belting out some indie songs while standing bare feet.   It’s bizarre and a bit surreal to be sitting back in a lawn chair and watching some chick with flowers in her hair jump around and try to entertain you, but it’s not completely unwelcome. If anything, you were sort of having fun. The sun had set, making the weather milder. The breeze was warm against your cheeks and the fairy lights strung above were twinkling.   The whole atmosphere lulled you and with your head leaning on Taehyung’s shoulder, every blink became heavier and heavier. “This is nice,” you mutter and he catches it.   Your husband turns his head with a tiny smile. “Yeah?”   “Mhmh...”    You feel a wet kiss being planted at the top of your head and you decide to indulge, closing your eyes for just a moment. But the next time they open, you realize that the crowd has thinned, they’ve put on music on the stereo and Taehyung’s windbreaker is draped on top of you as a makeshift blanket.   “Hey there, sleepy head.” He grins at you when he notices your lashes fluttering. “Want me to carry you back to the yurt?”   “I’m fine.” It takes a second to get up and you stretch your arms out before the both of you make your way back to the yurt. There were a few younger couples lingering around and still taking in the scenery, but the years were catching up to you quickly and all you wanted was to dive into the sheets and satiate the rest of your sleepiness. “How long was I out for?”   “About half an hour?”   Taehyung fishes for the key and opens the door. “I didn’t even realize I was so tired.” You manage to kick off your shoes and beeline to the bathroom to brush your teeth.   “Of course, you were tired. You didn’t even sleep on the bus and for the past few days you’ve been up late doing research.”   You mumble incoherently, not having enough energy to argue with Taehyung and he grins, nudging you aside so he can grab his own toothbrush.    In the next ten minutes, it’s lights out. You’re rolled onto the bed, tucked into the warm sheets like a burrito, and Taehyung’s settled in as well. You hear his exhale and you allow your muscles to relax in the comfortable darkness. The exhaustion that’s been built from the entire day washes over you. But before you can drift off, in the quietness of the room, you remember.   And you reach out, arm stretched, feeling for your husband.   Taehyung hums when you tap his shoulder. You feel him shift and mumble, “What’s wrong?”   “I’m fertile,” you mutter with your eyes closed. “You need to stick your dick in me.”   He bursts out laughing and his arm slings over your abdomen. “It’s okay if we don’t have sex tonight, you know.”   You sigh, too fatigued to get up and do the job yourself. “We’re gonna miss our opportunity, Tae.”   A soft kiss is pressed to your temple, and you feel yourself losing the fight to keep your consciousness. “We’ll have other chances. Relax.”   “Relaxing….isn't gonna give us a baby.”   “No, but it will keep my current baby sane.”   After being together for so many years, Taehyung knows how to make his words sound sweet and enticing. And before you can even damn him for always catering to you and babying you, you’ve fallen asleep in his arms.

[Day Two]   Breakfast is as incredible as dinner was. There’s a full fruit platter that’s apparently all organic and a number of carbohydrates to fill yourself all the way to lunch. But you begin to regret eating so much with the scheduled activity that follows.   “Couples yoga is a way to build intimacy and trust with your partner.” Hyunjin and Jimin smile brilliantly and you wonder if they’re happy go lucky all the time. It must be fucking exhausting.   “Taehyung.” You nudge the man beside you who’s intently listening and he turns his head. “You know I’m not flexible at all.”   “Don’t worry.” He flashes a blazing grin. It’s way too early for this. “This is just for fun and I’ll catch you if anything.”   “No. Last time I tried doing yoga, I pulled a muscle in my thigh—”   “Oh look. They’re doing the first pose!” Your husband excitedly lugs you down and you’re forced to comply, crossing your legs and facing him.    It’s simple at first. There are basic poses with him leaning against you. Although it is hard to find a good balance considering how tall Taehyung is and even for being lanky, he’s quite a bit stronger than you are. But when Hyunjin and Jimin begin to twist themselves around and Jimin holds her up by the feet with a single hand, you know it’s impossible.   Unlike Taehyung, you never did cheerleading or any acrobatics.   “You’re going to drop me or I’m going to snap your spine, Tae!”   “Don’t you trust me?”   You look at your half-monkey, half-clown of a husband. “Do you really want to know the truth?”   The both of you collapse into a heaping mess before he can confirm or deny. He laughs and starts tickling you for not being able to listen until you’re begging him to stop before you look more like an idiot than you already do.   There’s a few couples who do a good job and you giggle when Taehyung mutters passive aggressive comments on how they’re teacher’s pets or that their form is awful. But there’s the fair share of other pairs who do as bad as you, namely Seokjin and Dahyun, the old couple from last night, bickering at being unable to do any poses.   You can’t say that couple’s yoga is particularly relaxing, but it’s silly and you find yourself having fun.   Hyunjin leads the cool down exercise and Taehyung nearly whacks you in the head with how he stretches. Your glare gains his exaggerated pout then cheesy smile. “Now as the very last cool down exercise, we’re going to take our partners by the hand.”   You mimic her and clasp Taehyung’s hands, awaiting further instructions.    “And we’re going to gaze into their eyes.” What? “Focus into the colour of their irises, how brown or blue or green they might be, or even the pattern of them. Sometimes we don’t truly look at one another like we should.”   “What are they even saying?” you mutter and the corner of Taehyung’s mouth twitches. In spite of how bizarre it is, you follow and stare into Taehyung’s rounded eyes. They’re brown. Like they’ve always been.   But you must admit, when the morning sunlight catches his irises at particular angles, the colour is a lighter shade than usual. They’re quite bright too.   “They say if we gaze into the eyes of someone we love, our heartbeat synchronizes together.”   What? Your brows furrow skeptically and you’re about to turn away, but suddenly Taehyung grabs a hold of your chin. “Don’t look away,” he commands with an authoritative voice and you swallow hard.   “Okay.” You focus your eyes to enlarge and focus. “I’m looking.”   You wonder if this is a staring contest, but even with his wolfish smile and being married for so long, Taehyung’s intent stare starts to make you feel vulnerable. You wonder if he’s always looked at you so affectionately. More importantly, you realize that even with all his dumb antics — like deciding to paint the fence green and then stopping halfway or ripping out the cabinets in the kitchen and never replacing them like he intended — you still love this sweet and kind dummy.   “Alright. Everyone can relax now,” Jimin announces softly as he claps and you finally blink a few times, eyes stinging from how you forced them open. “That’s the end of this session. Thank you for joining everyone.”   Yet, Taehyung holds your gaze a moment longer. And before you can pipe up and tell him it’s over, the man leans in and presses a soft kiss to your lips. He smiles when he pulls away. “As much as sweat is a good look on you, I think it’s time to shower, Mrs. Kim.”   You scoff and he holds your hand with an enormous grin, dragging you back to the yurt.   The two of you hop into the shower together, a habit that Taehyung insists is to save water for the good of the environment, but you swear half the time, you end up wasting more than if either of you do it separately. You’re sure that right now is one of those times.   “Hey.” You turn around as he’s lathering up his shampoo.   “Hey, yourself.” He smiles and shifts towards the stream of water before screaming at how hot it is. Taehyung quickly adjusts it, dissipating the fog on the glass. “Why do you like bathing in molten lava, woman?”   “You always make it too cold.” You scoff, but don’t dwell on the argument as you lean into his backside. “Listen, should we get a quickie in?”   Taehyung frees himself of the soap and looks at you. “If we do, we’ll miss lunch and then the hike.”   “We’re going on a hike?!”   “Yep, so hurry up cause if we don’t get lunch, we’re not gonna make it!” He gets out of the shower, leaving you to be bludgeoned by the ice, cold water. You sigh in exasperation.   The purpose of coming here is to conceive, not go on a hike. But with how enthused he is, you begrudgingly join.   Afternoons are the worst out here. The sun is sweltering and there isn’t an ounce of a breeze or a wind. As a result, the heat stifles and lingers without dissipating, causing sweat to dampen your clothing and stick to the back of your neck. The weather exhausts you and you feel your creamy lunch pasta up your throat again as you lug your legs up the steep, rocky incline.    No matter how much you try to keep up, you fall behind from the group.   Taehyung twirls around with a big grin, mouth perfectly symmetrically. “Are you okay?”   “W-What does it look like?” you pant. It’s unfair that Taehyung works out once a year and treats his body like a candy trashcan but is still more fit than you are.    “I can carry you if you want.”   “You’re going to snap in half carrying me.” You pass him as he laughs.    You hear him catch up, feet skipping along like he’s playing hopscotch. Then suddenly, you feel yourself being lifted off the ground and you shriek, arms looping around Taehyung’s neck. You’re scooped up in his arms like he’s about to kick down the door into the bedroom, but instead, he starts sprinting up the path like a maniac.   “Taehyung!” you squeal and he laughs again.   “Isn’t this better?”   “Aren’t you tired?”   “If I say yes, you’re gonna think I’m trying to tell you to lose weight, but for the record, I like how soft you are.”   You roll your eyes, embarrassed as you pass a few couples, but none of them seem to find it bizarre and they even smile warmly at you and Taehyung. Yet, he starts to slow down tremendously after a few minutes, panting and sweating profusely. You ask him if he’s going to put you down yet, but you underestimate just how stubborn your dear husband is. Taehyung refuses until you’re up at the top of the trail, making it to where Jimin and Hyunjin are by the waterfall.    There, you’re finally on set on your feet again.   You pass him your water bottle. “Drink it before I’m the one dragging you down.”   He grins and downs it.   Up here, it’s much more refreshing and easier to breathe. There’s a tiny waterfall coming from the higher mountains and there are trees around to provide shade. When you squint, you can see the campsite at a distance with all the yurts.   “We should take some pictures!” Taehyung declares when he steadies his breath and pulls out his selfie stick from the hideous fanny pack that you still won’t admit is pretty convenient.   “Your mom is gonna want a copy so don’t pull any ugly faces, Tae.”   “My face is never ugly.” He tugs you beside him and snaps a few shots before reviewing them carefully. Taehyung always had an eye for these kinds of things. “We didn’t get a good angle of the water.”   “I can take it for you.”   “What’s the point if we’re not together?” His thick brows are furrowed, lips lopsided, sighing.   A matronly and friendly voice pipes up next to you, “Do you need any help?”   Dahyun is smiling with Seokjin beside her and Taehyung appears relieved. “Yes, please.”   She takes his phone as he folds back his selfie stick and she stands off to the side, capturing you and Taehyung smiling with his arm around you. “One. Two. Three. I’ll take another one.”   Dahyun changes the angle a bit and Taehyung leans over to pull on your cheek while you feign a glare at him. The second picture is taken while the woman and her husband laugh, endeared. “There we go. You can check them to see if they’re good.”   The phone is handed back and by Taehyung’s expression, it seems acceptable. “You two are too cute. When did you get married?”   “Oh, I think three years ago? Yeah. Three.”    It’s much longer than it actually feels. It seemed like it was a week ago when you first met in class and thought he was annoying. Like yesterday, he was supposed to propose at a fancy restaurant but failed when you found the ring box the night before — how he screamed at you to stop, but it was too late and he ended up going with it. They’ve all become memories that you cherish.   “We met back in school and dated a while before getting married.”   Dahyun smiles. “Have you decided how many kids you want yet?”   You hitch a thumb to Taehyung. “He wants four, but I’m fine with two.”   “The bigger the family, the better, right?” he says, looking up from the screen of his phone.   “Wait until you have kids, you’ll end up wanting more,” Seokjin chuckles, “That or you’ll want to give them all away, but personally, I could raise a whole football team if she’d let me.”   His wife jabs him in the ribs. “Yeah, because you’re not the one who has to give birth to them.”   “And that’s why you’re the boss of the house.” He pouts at her while the corners of his mouth tickle up into a smile, and she relents.   “Let’s be honest, the real boss of the house is our little troublemaker. I swear he took after all your bad traits.”   Seokjin gasps. “Excuse me, Youngjae is my most masterful creation...even if he painted all over our leather seats and popped our car tire with his batman toy.”   She shakes her head with a light sigh, but it’s hard to hide her beaming expression. “I should’ve known he would give me trouble when he went past the due date for two weeks.”   “T-two weeks?” you sputter.   Dahyun nods, finally having the sympathy she was trying to fish out of her husband. “My stomach was as big as a watermelon and I was in labour for fourteen hours before I ended up getting an emergency c-section and he came out a whopping ten pounds.”   Your head is swirling as you try to imagine a ten pound baby in this petite woman.   It almost seems like a horror story that’s waiting to be picked up by Hollywood.   “But honestly, the hardest part wasn’t the whole pregnancy or birthing process. It was afterwards.” Her exhale is long and fatigued. “Suddenly there’s another human being you’re responsible for and you have to take care of them while you’re still in recovery. I remember when Youngjae couldn’t stop crying in the middle of the night. I always had an idea that having kids was a lot of work, but you really don’t have time for yourself once they’re born, and not to mention my bladder was completely done for after the whole thing.”   “Alright, alright.” Her husband pulls her close. “I already know you’re a woman warrior. I saw it with my own eyes.”   Dahyun smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes and she turns to him, deadpanning, “No, you didn’t. You passed out half-way.”   “I was there in spirit,” Seokjin insists humorously.   Dahyun scoffs while Taehyung grins at their back and forth that’s reminiscent of his own dynamic with you. “But were they worth it?”   “Oh, a thousand percent,” Dahyun responds without needing a second to consider, expression softening. “Enough that I would want to do it all over again.”   She doesn’t get a chance to say much else when Jimin’s voice pierces through the chatter and everyone gathers together with the last stragglers who have finally made it up. “Thank you, everyone, for coming all the way up here. This is Serenity Falls that was actually…”   But his voice drowns out.   You linger on what Dahyun said, about child rearing and birthing, and there’s nothing that can be done to the uneasy emotion swelling inside of you.   The walk back down is silent. Done without a single complaint from you about the hot weather or how your feet ache. Taehyung notices, glancing at you several times. He doesn’t say anything until you’re back at the yurt.    “What’s wrong?”   You look at him from across the room. “Nothing, why?”   “You’ve just been quiet.”   “I just….” You inhale and decide to divulge him. “I was just thinking about what Dahyun and Seokjin were saying. Do you think we’re cut out for this, Taehyung?”   His head quirks to one side. “Why wouldn’t we be?”   “You and I can barely take care of ourselves.”   “That’s not true.”   “We forget to buy food all the time.”   “That makes midnight snack runs fun.” He grins.   You exhale an unsteady breath and Taehyung approaches you. He doesn’t mind how sweaty you are and wraps his arms around your waist. “We’ll figure it out. You said it yourself, right? One step at a time.”   “But what if it’s too much and you decide you don’t want to do it anymore? Or that...you don’t want to be with me?” He opens his mouth, but you keep going before he can jump in. It’s not just about you being self-conscious or needing reassurance. You’re simply trying to imagine the worst case scenario as realistically as you can. “Like when I’m still bloated like a whale and in a bad mood and the baby’s crying and no one knows what to do.”   “I’ll still love you no matter the changes,” Taehyung murmurs earnestly, searching your expression. “Even if you’re bloated like a whale and in a bad mood and the baby’s crying and no one knows what to do. I’ll use google to figure it out and get the baby to calm down and I’ll get you some chocolate and I’ll rub your feet.”   You scoff lightly. “You make it sound so easy.”   “Maybe because it won’t be as hard as you think. I’m great with kids and we got killer teamwork, you know, plus this baby’ll be the best project we’ve ever done together.”   “A project that’s gonna last us eighteen years.” You smile.   Taehyung laughs, the sound mellifluous in the room. “Which isn’t that long considering how fast time moves.”   You hum and encircle your arms around his neck. Taehyung gets the hint and leans in to seal your lips against his, slotting them together to kiss you the way he knows you like it.   It’s slow, comforting, an opportunity to revel in the softness of his lips. Taehyung gives you courage — he always has and when you break apart, smiling against each other, you feel worlds better than before. “I’m gonna start a bubble bath. You can join me if you want.”   It’s less of a suggestion and more of a demand, one Taehyung fully recognizes and makes him smile in amusement as you saunter away. Taking advantage of the tub in the bathroom, you lower the stopper of the drain and dump in the soap they offer. The water gets filled three quarters way with a layer of bubbles and you strip. You sigh as you get comfortable in the tub.   “Is it warm?”   Your husband leans against the doorway, arms crossed and the corner of his mouth curled.   “Uh-huh.” You loll your head on the edge of the tub and lift up your foot, watching the way the water cascades off your skin. “Are you not going to get in?”   “Maybe later,” Taehyung surprisingly replies. He rarely rejects any chance at jumping your bones when you’re being this forward about it. There’s no hike or lunch to catch that’s preventing him from having fun with you either. But as your husband walks out, you catch him unceremoniously stealing the clothes you have prepared and the stack of towels by the sink.   “What are you doing?”   “There’s no point in covering yourself up if I’m gonna strip you anyway.” He flashes a mischievous grin and you sigh, relenting in his antics. You simply lay back to enjoy the water, muscles relaxing and your brain that’s constantly in overdrive empties.   After ten minutes, your skin begins to wrinkle, so you drain the water and get out. But the moment you stand up, the cool air conditioning slams into you and your body starts to shiver.   “Taehyung!” you shout and hear silence. “At least give me a towel!”   Fortunately for you, there’s a smaller one on the rack he missed so you swipe at it and wrap your shoulders to protect yourself. But you’re still dripping wet and in need of your clothes, so you stomp out to find your ridiculous partner who’s apparently five years old and—   “HA!” Said man you’re searching for bursts out of the closet and you scream, startled half to death, nearly falling to the ground. Taehyung starts to laugh like a maniac.   “Are you serious?!” You gawk at him. “How long did you even wait there for?”   “Like five minutes ago.” The bastard wolfishly grins. “Worth it though.”   You cock a brow at him, sighing. “So that’s why you didn’t join me in the bath?”   “No. I didn’t join you, so I could do this.” He yanks the towel where your breasts meet, leaving you nude. Goosebumps rise all over your skin and your nipples harden in the frigid air.   You screech, arms trying to cover yourself. “Taehyung, it’s cold!” “I can warm you up,” he says but then runs away when he reads the glare on your face, giggling boyishly. It’s completely childish. If anyone was watching, you’d be mortified, but it’s been a long time since there was any shame in your marriage, so you stomp after him while nude.    You hunt the man down while he tries to evade by rounding the coffee table. It’s no longer about grabbing clothes or covering yourself up, it’s time for revenge.   Luckily, the yurt isn’t big enough to have a game of tag. You manage to reach him and you steal the opportunity to yank his pants down. Taehyung, mid-laugh, trips on his feet and stumbles on the carpet. You burst out giggles, looking at his ass in the air and he giggles too from the infectious sound bubbling up your throat.   “Oh, you’re gonna get it now,” He mutters in a low voice with half-lidded eyes and you scramble away with another shriek.   “You started it!” You jump onto the bed and Taehyung kicks off his pants. You don’t ask why he’s skipped out on wearing boxers, but you notice he’s already half-hard and that only makes you laugh louder.   He chases after you as you duck and steal his own tactic of rounding the coffee table. But unfortunately for you, Taehyung has always been destined to win with his longer legs. He catches you within two strides and snatches you as you scream. You’re thrown over his shoulder like you’re a sack of potatoes and he smirks. “Caught you.”   “Taehyung! People are gonna hear!” You laugh in spite of being the one who’s making most of the noise and he tosses you onto the bed. Usually, you hate to be manhandled, but your husband’s the only exception to the rule.   “Let them hear.”   He hovers over you and the laughter dies down. Taehyung stares earnestly into your eyes and your breathing becomes shallow. But you don’t like to lose and as his wife of three years, you know his one, true weakness.    Your fingers lift to Taehyung’s armpits and he seizes when you start tickling him. You laugh when he does and once he doubles over, there’s an opening to the left, a perfect escape route. You steal the opportunity while you still have it and start to climb off the bed, but he regains his breath and grabs your ankle, tugging you back to him in one swift motion without even needing to try.    Taehyung grins. “God, you’re such a brat sometimes.”    “Yeah, and I know you like it.”   He grabs your wrists before you can make another tickle attack and pins it above your head. You can tell that there’s no more time for jokes or any more playing around, not when you can feel his hard cock against your stomach.   “You smell good,” he sighs into your neck, inhaling deeply. “Cherry blossom? Peony?”   “Strawberries,” you answer. “You smell like sweat.”   “You’re gonna end up like me anyway.” Taehyung smiles and leans in to kiss you. It isn’t shy or chaste. His tongue licks into your mouth and you exhale, a strangled moan muffled against his lips as you melt against him. He finally has you where he wants and you let him take control.   The pair of you swap spit for a few minutes until he releases your hands, allowing you to curl your fingers into his shoulders as he caresses your waist.    Taehyung eventually breaks away with a playful glint in his eyes. “You wanna try the toys?”   You both look at the basket half across the room and he rolls off of you. You get to your feet to inspect it for yourself and discover an array of colourful gadgets, some that you’ve tried before and others that you’re sure needs to have an instruction manual with it.    “I’m not putting any of these dildos in me, Tae. I don’t know where they’ve been.”   “I know.” He lays with his head propped up by his hand and you eye something at the bottom of the basket. You pull out a leather whip and look at him. “Ooh, a classic pick there, sweetheart.”   A whip seems more sanitary considering it doesn’t have to go in anyone’s orifices.   “Is it?” You approach with a tiny smile, staring down the innocent man. “Roll over.”   “What?”   “I’ll whip you.” You grin and he blinks at you. More often than not, you’re the more submissive one in bed, but the idea of having Taehyung crying out and the idea of you cackling at his pain has him immediately rolling face down in intrigue and you stepping up on the bed.   He turns his face to the side. “Do you know how to do it?”   “How hard can it be?” There’s a pause. “But tell me if it hurts.”   “The point is to make it hurt, Y/N.”   “Yeah, but I don’t want to hurt you-hurt you.”   “I can handle it.” Taehyung smirks and you scoff.    Even in this position, he’s trying to maintain his dominance.   You grip it tightly and don’t count. Simply, with a flick your wrist, you slam the whip across his backside. It makes a loud cracking sound and you hear Taehyung sharply inhale. His teeth grit and you freeze, watching his expression carefully.   “How was it?”   “Is my back split open?” he asks, trying to look over his shoulder.   “No.”   “I think I might have to go to the ER.” He sits up completely, overdramatic in the way he fumbles around and his tone filled with some mischief. “I think there’s internal bleeding. Or my spine is broken. I wouldn’t be surprised.”   “It’s fine, Tae.” you laugh. So much for telling you to go for it. But you already had an inkling Taehyung wasn’t one for receiving pain. After all, he’s still your whiny baby who only eats vanilla yogurt. “Not your thing?”   “Not my thing.” He takes the whip from your hand and tosses it across the room. “I have a better toy in mind.”   You’re about to remind him you’re not gonna put any of those communal toys inside of you, but he instead walks over to his suitcase and starts tearing some clear packaging open with something pink inside. You read the label — it’s a remote control vibrating egg.   Your brows furrow. “When did you get that?”   “Two days before we left. Amazon prime, babe.”   “So that’s what you were looking at when you told me you were doing some online shopping?”   “Precisely.” Taehyung grins and you’re not sure if you should be pleasantly surprised or in dismay since the two of you have already made a pact not to buy anything else online. The treadmill bought on an impulse is still taking up half the space of the living room.   Before you can think too much, Taehyung gets it open and comes over. He nudges your thighs to open and you lay back, leaning against the headboard. You’re not that wet yet, if at all, but it doesn’t stay that way when his long fingers rub against your clit in circles.    With his other hand, he strokes against your slit and then sinks his index finger in knuckle deep. You throw back your head, moaning his name at the intrusion while he remains silent, intently watching your pink cunt squeeze. Taehyung curls his finger and swallows hard. The sloppy sounds of your cunt fill the room and he hums in satisfaction.   “Okay. Ready?”   “Uh-huh.”   The head of the cold egg meets your folds and it slowly enters. While the toy might not be big or long, the girth stretches against your warm walls and you keen. Taehyung makes a low noise, encouraging you to take it. When it’s in, he smiles brilliantly. “Good job, sweetheart. You did it.”   “Now what?”   “This, of course.” Taehyung dangles the remote in front of you and then like a psycho, he ramps it up to the highest possible setting. Intense vibrations are felt through your body instantaneously and you cry, head knocked back against the headboard as your velvet walls squeeze and tremble.   “T-Taehyung!”   “Good?”   “I-It’s too much!” You’re completely at his mercy and he takes advantage of it, drinking you in with a wolfish smile. You’re unable to muster a glare at him, reduced to a complete mess while your center leaks and drips onto the sheet. Still, you try to reach over to the remote.   He dodges when you lunge at him. “Nu-uh.”   Luckily, you get a hold of your husband and climb over to him. His arm is extended straight up, laughing as you try to snatch it from him. He waves it inches away to mock you while enjoying the sight of you quivering on top of him. “T-Tae!”   “Okay, okay.” He laughs and transfers it into his other hand, about to turn the setting down a notch. But right at the moment you’re about to snag it for yourself, the remote flies out of his hand. It falls through the gap between the wall and the headboard.   It clatters to the ground.   “Oh shit.”   “Taehyung!”   “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He rolls off the mattress and looks underneath the bed before abruptly standing. “I’m going to need a long stick or something.”   He starts to look around the room, searching for a tool to grab the remote that’s out of reach, and you don’t know if you should suffocate him with a pillow or facepalm yourself hard enough to get knocked out into a coma.   You can pull out the egg yourself, but the violent vibrations were beginning to thrum pleasure through you, so as your useless husband goes fishing for the remote, you finish the job. Your fingers play with your clit, rubbing the bud as your slick drips down your thighs and you come hard on the toy.   The same moment light flashes beneath your eyelids and your toes curl, Taehyung grabs the remote with the help of a rolled brochure and shuts it off. The both of you are winded for different reasons.   “You know, I'd say that was pretty hot if not for how stressful that actually was.”   “You’re an idiot.” You tug the toy out of you and bat him over lazily, feeling spent on how hard you came. “Now dump some sperm in me, idiot.”   Taehyung has a cheesy grin and climbs over you. Despite the struggles of grabbing the toy’s remote, he’s fully hard from the noises you were making. “I’d tell you to ask more nicely, but I’ll let it go.”   He aligns the head of his weeping cock to your swollen cunt and leans his weight into you. He starts to push in and you whine, gripping his forearms. As wet as you are, Taehyung is still well-endowed — less girthy than the toy, but there’s a considerable length to him.    When he bottoms out, you can feel him all the way to your throat.   He tucks sweaty strands of hair behind your ear and kisses you. “Sorry about earlier.”   “’t’s okay. It was fun,” you admit and he smiles, starting to work up a good rhythm. You feel hot in your face with the pressure of his body on top of yours, hardened nipples brushing against his chest. Your cunt pulses and squeezes around his length. It draws Taehyung’s groans into your neck.   “F-Fuck. You’re so tight.”   It feels good and you know he’s reveling in the pleasure too. His eyes are shut tight, the scrunch made between his brows and it entices you to reach up and kiss him to which he sweetly indulges you. Your tongues twine as you pant against each other and Taehyung starts to lose his pacing.   He bends your knee, hitting you at a deeper angle as his strokes become increasingly frantic and quick. You egg him on and he groans once more before he thrusts himself as deep as he can go and cums. Ropes of white paint your walls, the head of his cock against your cervix and filling your cunt and womb up. You can feel some of it dribbling out, seeping past your folds and when Taehyung’s about to withdraw, you quickly grab his forearm.   “Wait. Just stay put for a second. I have to keep it in.”   He nods and kisses your lips. “Okay.”   Taehyung nestles into you, nuzzling into your neck and you hope this is the one.

[Day Three]   There were lots of activities and amenities offered and advertised by Jimin during the introduction of the retreat, but you realize you might’ve missed over the most important one of all.   “How does that feel?” the massage therapist asks as she works a knot out of your shoulders and smooths your skin with the oil.   “Amazing,” you murmur from the corner of your mouth, melted against the table.    Couples massages were something you always scoffed at, but holy shit, it’s absolutely paradise. With the breeze blowing through the pitched tent and the glowing humidifier releasing a fresh scent, you’ve never been more relaxed as all the stiffness is worked out of you.   You open your eyes to see Taehyung enjoying it as well — though not as much as you are since he’s quite ticklish. Sometimes, he squirms a bit too much and his massage therapist is at a loss of what to do.   But when it’s all done, you feel like you’re in a new body. “Oh my god. I think I’m more flexible than before. Look, Tae!”   You stretch your leg and he giggles at how happy your mood is. “If I knew you liked it this much, I would’ve signed us up for one at the spy near the gym.”   Your eyes are wide, catching the sunlight. “Do you think they’re as good as this place?”   Taehyung grins. “Probably.”   “We should go when we get back then. Oh, do you wanna check out the library?”   “Sure.”   You grab his hand, lacing your fingers together and he smiles to himself.    It’s a free day without many planned activities, giving you both an opportunity to look around the retreat for yourselves and take it easy. And the pair of you take full advantage of the opportunity. Since morning, you were lazing around the yurt and after breakfast and the massages, you decide to lay in one of the hammocks by the trees while Taehyung naps with you.    Said man hasn't seen you this stress free in a while, so he happily indulges you in all your wishes. Even when night falls and you step away from the stage where Hyunjin is performing again to stargaze. It’s an odd activity for you since mosquitoes love to especially swarm around you when given the chance and on numerous occasions, you’ve been a moth landing spot.   But tonight, the breeze is soft and gentle, and you don't feel any tickles on your skin that isn’t Taehyung’s hand grazing against yours. The grass is pliant beneath your feet and the fairy lights twinkle far away enough that its luminescence doesn’t obstruct. You knock your heads back to view the horizon, allowing the darkness to engulf you and the stars to emerge.   “Remember Bali?”   “When you lost your passport?”   “When we went stargazing with the tour group,” Taehyung corrects. “It still wasn’t as beautiful as this.”   “You think everything in front of you is the most beautiful thing you’ve seen. You said that about the Eiffel and then Tokyo Tower.”   He laughs. “Hey, my mind doesn’t change that often. You’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve seen.”   You scoff, looking away from the sky towards him with a pout. He always knows how to lay on the sappiness without needing to blink. Your dear husband has always been shameless in that aspect and you adore him for it. “So I’m a thing to you now?”   “You know that’s not what I mean.” He wraps his arms around your waist. The both of you stare up at the sky. “Is that the big dipper?”   You look at where he’s pointing to the large clusters of stars. “I can’t see it. Maybe that’s scorpio.”   “Nah, I don’t think so.” Taehyung tries guessing, “It might be taurus or gemini. Or libra.”   “Aren’t you just naming astrological signs now?”   “Maybe.” He grins. “I’m a capricorn.”   “Yes, I know.” You two of you clearly don’t know anything about constellations or how to find them, but it doesn’t make the moment any less enjoyable. Yet when your necks start to ache, he takes your hand and strolls down the path through the trees. “Taehyung. What if we get lost?”   None of you have your phones or any flashlights. There’s only the crescent moon giving off its light. “Don’t worry. I have a great sense of direction.”   “You and I both know that’s not true.”   “You have a great sense of direction, so we won’t get lost,” he says and you sigh without putting much of an argument up. Not when you knew he was headed to the lake you had peeked at earlier in the afternoon, and now it was shimmering with the moonlight, reflecting the starry horizon in its water.   There’s a certain kind of peacefulness, a serenity that you would never get back in the city or even the suburbs. Certainly not without light pollution or the occasional car whizzing past. Here, there is none of those noises, none of those distractions, just you and Taehyung savouring the view⁠—   “Hey.” But of course, your mischievous husband has to have ulterior motives for coming all the way here. And you know there are ulterior motives by that glint in his eye and the sly smile he has.   “What?”    “Wanna take a dip?”   Your brows shoot to your hairline. “Are you crazy? It’s probably freezing! What if we get hypothermia and die?”   “For the record, you’d make one beautiful angel. But I’ll warm you up before it gets to that point.” Taehyung grins and starts stripping, tugging his shirt right off his head. It’s always been like this — him proposing something out of your norm, you try to voice your concerns, and then you’re the one who’s diving head first into it without hesitation and end up having more fun than he does.   “God, it’s so cold!”    The moment the water touches your toes, you recoil. But you brace yourself and continue onward with your entire body shivering. It’s your first time skinny dipping ⁠— something normally reserved for rebellious teenagers and most certainly not for late twenty-some year olds. Yet neither of you have qualms, even if you’re shrieking and Taehyung is laughing and following behind you.   “It’s freezing, Taehyung!”   “Come here.” He pulls you to him so your backside is pressed to his front and you wonder how Taehyung can be so warm all the time. The pair of you get waist deep into it and you turn around to grip him. Your husband smiles and holds onto you, eventually going far enough that the water reaches your shoulders. “See? Isn’t this nice?”   You hum, gazing up at the stars and the moon, the sight reflected on the water and how you’re pressed to Taehyung. “Seems like the beginning of a horror movie.” He laughs and your feet try to reach down to find stability, but you realize you can’t touch the ground anymore and your grip on him tightens. “Walk back a bit, Tae.”   “Why?”   “You know I can’t swim.”   His mouth curls. “But I like how you’re holding onto me. I won’t let go,” he adds after a long pause, “if you beg me not to.”   Your arms immediately come to loop around his neck and your legs wrap around his waist, latching onto him in a vice grip like a koala does to a branch. “Taehyung! I’m not kidding.”   “Oh...oh!” The bastard pretends that he’s gonna let go of you and actually does for a split-second. He laughs at your panicked expression. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!”   You feign a pointed glare that turns out to be more of a pout. “You’re lucky I like you.”   “You only like me?”   “Yeah and if you keep going, I’m going to demote you from husband to friend.”   Taehyung makes a pained, sharp sound. “Can’t let that happen then.” He suddenly hoists you up higher, grip secure on your thighs and smiles brilliantly while you scoff.   You savour the view and the warmth of his body heat, but you’re slightly distracted. “Do you think anyone’s gonna steal our clothes, Tae?” You squint at the small pile near the shore.   “Who would?”   “I don’t know. What if a bear comes from the bushes and takes them? We’ll have to walk back naked.”   “I’m pretty sure there aren’t bears here, Y/N. Stop overthinking it.” Taehyung suddenly grabs a hold of your chin and turns your head for you to look only at him. Then, he kisses you in a soft and gentle way before the tip of his tongue meets the seam of your lips. You happily oblige, parting them and allowing him access to your tongue and giving him a taste of you.   The man hums in satisfaction as soft smacking noises fill the surroundings. You lean into his firm frame while Taehyung’s large hands slinks from your thigh to the curve of your ass. You feel his thumb probe against your folds.   “T-Taehyung.” His hard length is beneath you and you grind down on him, feeling empty. It draws a groan from his throat.   After a moment, you get his cock inside of you. The stretch soothes the itch you had, filling your cunt deliciously. But unlike the movies, it’s not enough for you. The water washes away the lubricant, each stroke rough and the glide slower than you’d like. So you beg him and the both of you are dragged up onto the shore again.   You turn on all fours. The pebbles uncomfortably dig into your knees, but it’s a distraction that blurs into the background when Taehyung pounds into you. You feel all of him, his body heat against yours, each thrusting movement flicking off the droplets of water from your skin. And when Taehyung turns your head to kiss you while rubbing at your clit, you cum around his cock.   He finishes as you beg for it and Taehyung’s sticky fluids leak down your thighs on the trek back.

[Day Four]   Taehyung blinks blearily, slowly coming to consciousness. He scratches his bed head and groans at how his muscles ache. But when he turns his head, the other side of the bed is cold and empty. His eyes widen in confusion and he feels more awake than before.   He checks the time and realizes he slept in, a total of ten hours, which isn’t a surprise considering how last night’s rendezvous continued and was more intense than usual. What is unusually, however, is that you’re gone.   But he soon finds you outside. Bathing in the sun. Laying in a hammock. Napping with a book next to you.   Your eyes flutter open as his shadow covers your figure. The corner of his mouth pulls.   “Morning.”   You sheepishly grin. “Morning.”    “What time did you get up?”   “Like an hour ago. The breeze was nice so I thought I’d do some reading, but I guess I accidentally fell asleep.”   “Looks like you’ve gotten comfortable.” Taehyung’s enormous smile aches his cheeks. You’ve fallen in love with this place more than he has, but he doesn’t mind whatsoever. He loves watching you have fun.   The two of you have breakfast, inhaling in the food, and then head to a meditation class on the grass led by Hyunjin. Typically, Taehyung has to convince you to take part in such a session and you’d usually wave it off as a waste of time. But there are no qualms or an ounce of hesitation in your expression when you head over.   “Now breathe in, and out, a steady stream of breath. Think about all that you are grateful for. Everything that has made your life amazing, and let that positive energy surround you as the negative energy releases.”   But while you’re eager, Taehyung, on the other hand, finds out that meditation is not cut out for him. He’s bored out of his mind from the lack of stimulation. Time feels like it’s dragging on slower, each second a minute and a minute is an hour. Somehow, meditating makes him feel even more exhausted than before and his mind ends up wandering.   Taehyung thinks about how he’s really craving some fatty burgers instead of the organic oatmeal and yogurt he had — how hot the weather is — how it’s hard to breathe — how sweat sticks to his skin.   “Hold your breath for three seconds and release for three seconds.”   He sighs and peels back an eye to see you with your hands pressed together, concentrated in following instructions. The corner of his mouth tickles into a smile.   As bored as he is, it’s worth seeing you happy.   //   The more excited you are about something, the more you run around from place to place and Taehyung’s resorted to looking for you. Luckily, the resort is small, so he finds you in front of the main building, chatting to a certain brunette with a half-moon smile and chubby cheeks.   “—heard that doggy actually works for some people, but for me, it doesn’t feel right...like…”   “The head of the cock isn’t right up against the cervix?” Jimin hums thoughtfully. “Have you tried angling your leg better? Sometimes you need to bend a bit and he needs to be leaning towards the side rather than just hovering straight on top.”   What.   Taehyung’s brows lift and he quickly approaches. Your face lights up when you see him. “Oh, hey.”   “I was looking for you.” Taehyung throws his arm over your shoulder and subtly tugs you into his chest. He looks at the other man, eyes narrowed in on him which he doesn’t seem to notice.   “Sorry, I was just caught up with Jimin.”   “What were you talking about?”   “What position is best for conception.” You blink innocently like it’s not a big deal you’re exploiting the details about your sex lives to another guy, and while he’s not embarrassed whatsoever, it was a bit too much information being shared for Taehyung’s liking. “Turns out elevating the hips might not help as much as we thought it does.”   “Huh.” Taehyung deadpans, “That’s interesting.”   “I know, right?” Your expression is bright, oblivious to his turmoil. At the same time, Hyunjin exits from the building in yet another flower crown and flowy skirt. She smiles at the both of you and joins Jimin’s side, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek and holding his hand.   “Hope I wasn’t interrupting anything important.”   You smile at her. “No, it’s okay.”   The woman nods and looks to her partner while her voice drops into a more private tone. “Just wanted to let you know that Taehoon and I are done.”   As if to validate her words, a timid yet tall man exits the building and they wave goodbye to one another before he walks off towards the parking lot. Jimin smiles. “Did you have fun?”   “Yeah. It was nice.”   Both you and Taehyung exchange expressions. He wonders if you’re thinking what he is or if he’s understanding the insinuations correctly.    As if they catch the inquisitive looks on your faces, they smile in a relaxed way. There’s no need to explain anything to either of you when you’re strangers, but they’re open enough and Hyunjin says, “Taehoon’s my second partner.”   “Second...partner?”    “Hyunjin and I are in an open relationship,” Jimin clarifies in a friendly manner. “It’s not really traditional, but it works well for us.”   “Oh.” Taehyung and you wordlessly bob your heads. He’s pretty sure they mentioned it during their introduction but it slipped his mind. They must get asked a lot of questions too since Hyunjin answers what he’s thinking, telling the both of you there’s not a lot of jealousy involved since they trust each other wholeheartedly and communicate a lot. And rather than finding it bizarre, you’re left intrigued. Taehyung notices as you walk away.   “Do you want an open relationship too?”   “You know it would never work for us.” You lean over, hugging his arm. “I’m too possessive for that.”   He laughs. “Then what about talking to Jimin about our sex positions?”   “He’s a professional.” You shrug. “I thought I could get helpful advice. Why?”   “Nothing, it’s just kind of weird.”    Jimin doesn’t look like a professional. He looks like just some dude in khaki shorts and a white shirt, obnoxiously bulging biceps, probably has rock hard abs, and he’s in an open relationship and clearly doesn’t mind chatting up you, aka Taehyung’s wife.   “Are you jealous?”   “What? No.” Taehyung scoffs, suddenly defensive and you give him that look like you know him better than that. “I just don’t think we don’t need to ask for help yet, and at least not about our positions. We’re gonna have a baby one way or another, Y/N. We just have to be patient.”   “Tell that to my dying eggs.” You walk off and Taehyung grins.   “My sperm’s strong enough that it’ll rescue your dying eggs.”   //   Evening eventually comes and you try to revel in the surrounding sights, the atmosphere of the entire place and the very cozy yurt you’ve grown to adore. It’s sad knowing that tomorrow you’ll have to depart from the resort. You regret not coming here with a more open mind. That way, you could’ve enjoyed and embraced this place much sooner.   “Actually, I’m kind of glad. I’m getting sick of them serving the same food.”   You’re shocked at your husband’s apathy. “But it’s antioxidant-rich—”   “I just want some fried chicken or a burger.”   You scoff. “That’s why the doctor told you to lower your blood sugar and you’re not even over forty yet.” But still, you’re taken aback that he’s not in love with the resort. “Out of everyone, I thought this would’ve been your haven. I was expecting you to beg me to build a cabin here or something to stay.”   Taehyung hums, leaning back into the chair. “I’m not saying the resort is bad. As long as I get to spend time with you, I like it. And I like that you like it.”   “Psh.” He always knows how to say the right thing, especially when he’s doing it absentmindedly and not trying to get something out of you. You lean over, hand lifting to squeeze his cheeks together and you turn his head to kiss him. Taehyung smiles at the soft and affectionate gesture. But you look at him with half-lidded eyes that mean more. “Wanna ditch?”   It’s the final celebration that Jimin and Hyunjin are happily hosting, but you don’t mind leaving for some more quality time with Taehyung, and he happily agrees.   The both of you sneak out of the crowd, stumbling back into the yurt, giggly and giddy like you’re still teenagers trying to be stealthy at midnight. Taehyung kisses you silly and soon, your back is hitting the mattress. He almost rips your dress with how hastily he tries to tear it off your head and you’re stuck for a moment until you manage to get it off.   But in spite of how childish your antics are or how Taehyung blows raspberries on your tummy, each one of his touches is intimate and loving. He holds your hips down and eats you out until you cum twice. Then you’re flipped onto your stomach with him on top of you — his cock is dug into your pussy, every draw and thrust delicious. Your walls pulse along his length and you moan his name and clutch the sheets with tight fists.   You relish in the pressure of his body pressed on top of yours as he pounds into you. It only takes a few minutes before he’s releasing into your womb, cumming hard enough that you feel it too.   He rolls off of you, spent, but you gather your energy and hold him down for a second round.   You’re a woman on a mission and you’re going to make sure you leave this resort with Kim Taehyung’s baby inside of you.

[Day Five]   The final day of the resort has arrived much to your dismay, and you feel sad enough to cry.   “Thank you so much for all you’ve done.”   “It’s our pleasure.” Hyunjin grins, her arms wrapped around Jimin’s. “We just hope you had a great time at our resort.”   “Yes, I really loved it.”   “Our doors are always open,” Jimin affirms. “If nothing’s stuck, you can always come back or if you’re ever looking for more siblings for the little one, you can come again too. We’re happy to welcome anyone that’s family back.”   You’re moved by their words and much to Taehyung’s dismay, you give a brief embrace to each of them. You also manage to see the newlywed couple, Hoseok and Rose, who are still smiling and somehow look even more in-love than when they arrived. Dahyun and Seokjin, as well, wish you luck on your adventures.    “We might be coming back real soon.” The woman sighs, hitching her thumb over her shoulder. “That husband of mine is planning to book another trip next month.”   “So soon?”   Dahyun nods with a long exhale. “I think he’s hoping I’m not pregnant so we can come here again.” Your laugh spurs on her own and you’re able to resonate with the hopelessness of husbands.   Everyone is boarding the same bus, but this is the last opportunity to gather when people are getting dropped off from different places. So you make sure to savour the moment, get your last goodbyes in, and Taehyung pulls out his phone to snap several pictures of you for keepsakes.   Then, the two of you board the bus with your luggage and settle in your seats.   “You know,” you pipe up and Taehyung turns to you. “Even if we didn’t conceive, it was still fun.”   He smiles while taking his hand. “Yeah? I’m glad.” Taehyung laces his fingers with yours and you lean your head on his shoulder as he, too, leans his head on top of yours.   The bus pulls out of the lot and onto the road. Jimin and Hyunjin wave with brilliant grins, and together, you and Taehyung watch the little resort become a particle in the distance.

[Epilogue]   This is terrible. Unexpected and spontaneous.   “I have bad news.” You’re leaning against the door frame of Taehyung’s office and at your tone of voice, your husband looks away from the computer screen with wide eyes.   “Are you divorcing me?”   “No.”   “Did you lose your job?”   “No.”   His entire body deflates in a sigh of relief and he leans back, hands grasping the armrests of his swivel chair. “Thank god because I just bought those new shake weights that were shown on TV.”   “Yea— wait. What?”   Taehyung’s bubbling laughter comes from his chest. “What is it?”   He doesn’t notice the stick in your hand, so you throw it at him. Luckily, Taehyung’s reflexes are still in good shape and he claps his hands together, catching the stick before it hits his head. But then his brows furrow in confusion.   “You’re probably going to need to wash your hands after that. I peed on it.”   He doesn’t answer. Your oblivious husband instead takes a long second to inspect the stick and his pupils dilate. He finally realizes what it is and looks carefully. In the meanwhile, you hitch your breath, feeling unsettled. But then the most enormous smile stretches into his cheeks.    It almost looks like his smile is about to break his face.   “You’re pregnant,” Taehyung murmurs.   “I sure am.”   He looks at you. And then the stick. Then he looks at you again. Taehyung searches your expression in alarm as your words echo back to him. “Why is this bad news? D-did you change your mind? Do you not want kids?”   You shake your head. “No. This is fantastic news. I just wanted an excuse to go to the retreat again.”   He laughs and exhales a long breath. Taehyung scoots his chair over using the heels of his feet and comes to you. He throws his arms around your torso in a secure embrace while his ear is pressed gently to the flat plane of your stomach that’ll soon swell in the coming months. “God, you’re going to be the death of me, woman.”   Taehyung’s brown eyes are lit with mirth and you ease into his hug as your fingers comb through his dark locks. Finally, you’re going to be parents. After waiting and hoping for so long, it was now on the horizon. There’s a sense of fear in you both, but you’re overwhelmed with euphoria and excitement.   “We can always go back for the next kid.”   “I haven’t even had this one yet and you’re already thinking of another.”   “I can’t help it.” Taehyung grins, looking up at you and you lean down to kiss his smile.   You have a feeling this baby’s going to be loved beyond belief.