#my own thoughts on the matter are 1: i didn't actually like that line lol

[il3x]

Any idea how more power solves the problem of being a good person?

With more POWER, you can protect your teammates. With more POWER, you can defeat the Aberrant criminals who kill and extort and farm children for Rapture. With more POWER, you can avenge Jaeil. With the right kind of POWER, you could reform the Aberrant Corps from a killer, his killer, into a true hand of justice. You could impose Goodness across the entire world. With enough POWER, you wouldn't even need violence to do it.

And on the smaller scale... POWER can erase your mistakes. Good? You could be perfect.

[aihoshiino]

Rie Takahashi Interview (Oshi no Ko Anime Guidebook: First Report)

In the recently released First Report guidebook, a number of key staff members from the Oshi no Ko anime project were interviewed about their work on the show - so you can imagine my excitement when I saw that not only was Takahashi one of those interviewed, but that she had a lot to say about her performance as Ai and how she interpreted her character. I just had to translate it!

I will say up front that I have no intention of translating the other interviews in the book - this one took me long enough as it was and I fully admit it was pure blorbo bias that kept me going the whole time lol. Given that an English release of Glare x Sparkle is already in the works at YenPress, I imagine an English version of First Report might not be far behind so be sure to support it when it comes out. I'm just impatient lol.

As usual, this TL is a combo of my own comprehension, various online dictionaries such as Jisho.org, some MTL and me collapsing, weeping into smarter people's DMs to beg for their help. If you catch any mistakes, please let me know!

Anyway, enough rambling. Check out the interview behind the cut!

Please tell us about your favourite scene and line from episode 1.

Since Ai only appears in the first episode, I really wanted to make every moment count, so each and every one of her lines are special in their own way. It's hard to choose just one, but as a fan of the original work, the line "lies are an exceptional form of love" was one I was especially particular about. Since it's the line that truly encapsulates everything about Ai, I wanted to make sure that one stuck in people's minds.

You've said in the past you were an 'Oshi no Ko' fan even before being involved in the project.

While I was reading the original work, I actually admired Akane-chan the most. Obviously, I loved Ai as well, but being a voice actress myself, I was particularly interested in how a genius actress like Akane-chan prepared for her roles and what performances she'd go on to give. The chapters where she rises above all the online harassment especially left a huge impression on me. Anyone who's worked as a creative or even just in the public eye probably knows what a pulse-pounding experience it can be when you see slanderous comments about yourself - feeling like all of society has turned its back on you and you have nowhere to belong, and not being able to talk to your parents about it. It was depicted with such care and detail that I ached with her as I read it. But then, seeing her rise back up and declare "I don't want to quit like this" gave me a lot of strength. I wanted to become an actress like Akane-chan, who could come back to acting no matter what struggles I went through.

Since I loved Akane-chan so much, when I heard there were auditions for 'Oshi no Ko', I thought "I want to play her!". I even had the thought of 'Since the original work touches so deeply on what it means to be an actor, if they don't get a good actor for this, I might end up hating Oshi no Ko!' (laughs)

As a result, when I was cast as Ai, I knew I had to step up my game. I told myself, "If I'm going to play Ai, I need to give it my everything. Anything less won't do." I gave it my all with that in mind.

Did you audition for the role of Ai?

Yes, I did. But I couldn't get Akane-chan out of my mind, so I gave her a shot at the table audition. When I was preparing, I went over the manga at home and tried voicing each character and scene and there's a part in episode seven where Akane-chan mimicks Ai as she says "I sure am sleepy. We record way too early". When I tried that scene, I went "Hold on, maybe I really am the best fit for Ai?"

I guess my hunch was right because I didn't even make it through the first screening for Akane (laughs). Because of that experience, I'm deeply grateful to (Iwami) Manaka-chan for playing my beloved Akane-chan. I love both her work and her approach as an actress, so I'm thrilled to be working alongside her. I started off as a troublesome hardcore fan thinking "If they don't cast good actors for 'Oshi no Ko,' I might end up hating it!" but now I'm just like "thank you, voice actors!!" (laughs)

Were there any scenes you thought would be particularly difficult to perform based on the script or the original work?

So, I prepared for the role by going over volume 1 of the manga, the scenes where Akane-chan channels Ai and the short story, but there wasn't much more material at the time (laughs). So just preparing for the role was tough.  During recording, I sometimes checked in with (Akasaka) Aka-sensei about Ai. Now the story has progressed and Ai's character has become more defined, I secretly get a little nervous every time I read a new chapter. "I hope my performance in episode 1 wasn't off... I hope...!" (laughs) Obviously, Aka-sensei and the team were present during recordings, so my portrayal was probably fine but a revelation about her could still catch me out (laughs)

What sort of things did you hear from Akasaka-sensei?

There's a scene where Ai talks to her ex on a public payphone. I had to make sure there was the right amount of distance between them, and whether or not Ai still had any attachment to or fondness for him. I'm the sort of fan who enjoys analyzing the original work so I had mixed feelings about getting told the answer (laughs). But because I knew all the ins and outs of her backstory, I could contextualize her behaviour and the things she says and does.

Another scene was when Ai was scouted off the street and talked about her past, mentioning being abused by her mom. She wasn't saying it with the sense of "it hurts, I can't take it, I want to die" but instead she weaponizes it like "look at what I've been through, poor little me, right?". I tried to make my performance a balance of resilience with her vulnerability.

Also, I was directed to keep the monologue before Ai gets stabbed "emotionless", so I ended up giving a much more detached and matter of fact performance than I'd initially planned.

Were you mindful of the differences between Ai in her private life and Ai on stage when performing?

The tricky part of portraying Idol Ai is that if I make her too distinct, she'll stop being Ai. For example, if I play her as an innocent, optimistic idol, she'd be Ruby, not Ai. I focused less on "what to do as Ai" and more on "what not to do". In "Viewpoint B," Ai says, "The "idol" Ai is pretty much the complete opposite of who I really am, but she's the person I'd like to be." so that was the feeling I used as my reference when portraying Idol Ai. Incidentally, in my work as a performer, I purposely try to avoid drawing a line between my public and private self. So for Ai as well, the switches between the real Ai and the idol Ai feel surprisingly seamless to me. It's not that there are two distinct faces, but that Idol Ai exists inside the real Ai so it's more a question of which side of herself she shows at any given moment.

Ai’s fans in the original story only know the Idol Ai. What do you think draws them to her?

Like in the lyrics of YOASOBI's song "Idol," she's nonchalant, carefree, and easygoing. I could've portrayed Idol Ai as more cutesy, bubbly and flirtatious, but I felt that wouldn't have a convincing appeal to characters in the story like Gorou-sensei and the otaku who support her. I wanted to make sure it was believable that idol otakus in this world end up falling for her. I think it's her more laid back vibe, not the hyper energetic or "look at me!" type, that charms people.

So what would you say is the appeal to fans in the real world who know her full backstory?

Firstly, Ai-chan's overwhelming visual appeal. When you think of shocking pink and purple, you think of Ai! (Yokoyari) Mengo-sensei’s art is so powerful, and the glittering animation is also fantastic. I also find Ai's professionalism in her work really appealing. While she has the cuteness of an idol, she's not just cute—she works with an incredible level of dedication and professionalism. I admire and love her for everything, including her behind-the-scenes efforts. It's impressive, she’s really cool! 

I’ve ended up with a lot more respect for the word ‘idol’ as a result. In the past, when my voice acting involved singing, dancing, and participating in unit activities, being described as an "idol voice actress" didn't quite sit right with me. But now, I realize how honorable and responsible that title is. Idols work hard behind the scenes, constantly smiling while singing and dancing, and performing so brilliantly. If there are moments when I'm called by the same title as those incredible idols, I feel I need to make an effort to match their quality, or it would be disrespectful. It really motivates me to do my best.

There’s a line in Ai's monologue where she says "I wanted to love someone, I wanted someone to love." Why do you think Ai wanted to give love rather than receive it?

It could be that she's looking for somewhere to belong, hoping that "if I can love, I might be loved in return". Ai's history of abuse and mistreatment likely made the love she received feel very different from the love most people experience. I think it all stems from Ai thinking of herself as an abnormal person - she might have believed that to be loved, she needed to become someone who could genuinely love others. It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation with a lot of complex feelings. That’s just how I interpret it, though.

And in the end, she realizes her love for the twins is not a lie.

I think that Ai loved the twins all along, not just in that last moment. But the word “love” was like a curse for her, so she couldn't actually say it. That feeling only intensified after I watched the anime. There's an anime original bit where Ai kisses the twins on the foreheads and says, “I'm off,” when she leaves for work. That's the kind of thing you can only do with love - she was just too scared to actually put it into words. Though she was able to express her love fully in her final moments, it’s still sad it took such an extremely situation for her to be able to say it. If it’d never happened, or if she’d simply put the door chain on, she might never have said it. She might have always struggled to say those words. But it’s thanks to the twins she learned how to love. Even the love she has for her fans, that she derided as a lie, was always true. And when she told Ryosuke-kun, “I want to love you,” I think she was already loving him even then.

In the audio commentary included on the Blu-ray & DVD bonus disc, I was struck by the mention of Ai being so nervous before she says “I love you” to Ruby and Aqua, that she takes a deep breath. What sort of direction were you given for that line?

There wasn’t any direction, actually. During the recording, my focus was entirely on expressing Ai’s breathing after being stabbed, how much blood she was losing, and the urgency of conveying her final words. It was an intense experience. It’s a rare moment as a voice actor to feel like me and the character I'm playing have our hearts beating in sync, but this was one of those times. I think I was genuinely nervous myself as well. I could feel my heart pounding and my chest clenching like when you’re about to make a confession. That feeling still hasn’t left me.

Additionally, in the last monologue of episode 11, where Aqua reflects on Ai's words after she was stabbed, we couldn't use the original recording from the first episode. The recording from the first episode captured a raw and genuine emotion, as Ai was gasping for breath. So we re-recorded it with the intention that the more it resonated warmly within Aqua, the more unforgettable those words would become for him. I wanted to make sure that Ai’s final words would leave a lasting impact, something Aqua would revisit in his mind over and over again. Personally, I approached the recording with a deep sense of love, like passing the baton and saying, “Thank you, everyone, for your hard work in the first season.” There was a lot of warmth during that session, not just towards the twins, but towards the entire cast, staff, and the "Oshi no Ko" project itself.

What were your thoughts upon reading 45510?

I got to the end and I was like “Don’t delete the blog! I want to know more!” (laughs) The entire story felt like a box that really shouldn't be opened. Everything from the meaning behind the password numbers to the fact that Ai left behind a blog wanting to reconcile made it feel like Ai really, truly wanted to love the other girls in B-Komachi even when they were jealous of her.

In the anime, we only get a brief moment of interaction between Ai and the other members - that moment during dance practice, when one of them says, "You look kinda down, Ai-chan" and Ai replies with a smile, "That’s not it. I didn’t get to eat lunch!" So I was careful that Ai’s response didn't feel sour at all. If the sigh she let out before they spoke to her had even a hint of annoyance, it would’ve been a reason the other girls took offense with her. I felt like Ai’s invincibility should’ve been the main factor for their issues with her.

It’s just a brief interaction in the anime, but ‘45510’ really fleshed out that distance between Ai and the B-Komachi members. I based my understanding of these boundaries in her relationships on ‘45510’ and ‘Viewpoint B’ and I also read ‘Oshi no Ko: Spica, the First Star’ to get a fuller picture. The more I read, the more I understood - Kana Arima’s got the right idea!

YOASOBI’s song ‘IDOL’ closes out episode one.

The music itself was impactful, but the music video that was released after the first episode aired was something else altogether. We watched the first episode together with the cast, and then, after seeing the music video, I felt overcome by Ai’s presence all over again - I was left speechless by how powerful the experience was. "Oshi no Ko" really is an immersive experience. I mean, you willingly open YouTube and relive Ai's death yourself. Even after everything was conveyed in the main story, the music video introduced new layers of emotions and concepts. Seeing how YOASOBI's song "Idol," which was about Ai, resonated with so many people really made me realize all over again just how significant Ai's impact was!

And then you yourself sang IDOL at the Strawberry Productions☆Fan Thanksgiving Festival 2023 (FanFest).

For me, "Idol" is a challenging song to sing even at karaoke. So, when they asked me to sing it at the FanFest my initial reaction was, "Oh, that might be too much!" (laughs). It’s not a song that you can easily perform live (laughs). It's a song that only an incredible artist can pull off, so when I thought about singing it live on stage, I was like, "Really? Me?" But when I saw the setlist for the live part of the FanFest, I started feeling like, "Actually, I think I should give it a shot." As a performer, I had some reservations about whether I could deliver the quality it deserved, but the "Oshi no Ko" fan in me couldn't resist. I was like, "Everyone wants to see Ai's voice actress sing 'Idol'" (laughs). After a lot of back-and-forth, I decided to go for it. I understood how Kana Arima felt when she joined the new B-Komachi. The joy of being relied upon by the team and the desire to meet the expectations of the work won out in the end.

Between “Our Sign is B”, “HEART's♡KISS” and “STAR☆T☆RAIN”, which is your favourite B-Komachi song?

That’s a tough one since they’re all A-side quality! (laughs) It was like, "Wow, B-Komachi is seriously awesome!" You can really feel the passion from the music team, like they were determined to bring the world of "Oshi no Ko" to life through these songs. It was also surprising to see how the series expanded from the manga into this whole new realm of music.

Was there anything specific you focused on while recording the project’s songs?

I tried not to change my tone just because it was a song. My focus was on making sure that when people listened, they could immediately recognize it as Ai's voice. At first, it was really hard to come up with a solid idea of what "Ai singing” sounded like. Usually, she's a pretty laid back and carefree, but she can’t exactly sing like that during a live performance. Ai’s a pro when it comes to entertaining the audience and enjoying the moment with them so I was constantly trying to find the right balance between Ai’s characteristic nonchalance and the high energy of a live idol performance. The first recording I did was for "HEART's♡KISS," and honestly, I ended up putting too much force into the opening line, "I'll send you a cheer." Since the song's theme is about sending everyone good vibes, I got too intense with my delivery. I got an ‘OK’ on that take but when I listened back to it, I felt that it wasn’t quite right, so I asked to redo just that part. If people didn’t immediately sense Ai at the very start, I worried that they wouldn't feel her presence throughout the entire song.

If you were to send a message to Ai, what would you say?

There’s so much I’d love to say to her, it’s hard to pick just one thing. Still, I think Ai was really happy in her life because she got to say "I love you" in the end. Even though her life might seem tragic to others, the feeling that stuck with me from playing her was a sense of incredible contentment. So, I’d probably just want to have a casual chat with her and watch over everyone together. Oh, but I’d definitely tell her to keep that door chain locked!

[spiritualweapons]

Miss Missing You

Sonny Carisi x Reader WC: 974 AO3

This is my first time writing a reader fic in literally several years but this man is ruining my life and I’m here to make it everyone’s problem. This was actually going to be smut but then feelings happened and I didn't get there (lol), if anyone’s interested there will probably be a part two. Very unbeta’d and very rough don’t judge me I’m literally just a girl.

It had been nearly two weeks since you’d seen Sonny and you’d decided enough was enough.

You weren’t blameless, you’d unfortunately had your fair share of your own shit come up recently that meant you’d had to apologise on your way out of a date just a few nights ago. A sour ball of disappointment settled heavy in the pit of your stomach carrying you through the next few days and it seemed like no matter what you both did your schedules just wouldn’t line up. Sonny himself had ended up cancelling your third attempt to reschedule, voice thick with regret as he called and let you know he’d had a case come up that needed his immediate attention and instead had to spend the foreseeable future chained to his desk and whatever relevant case law he could get his hands on.

You’d only been dating for a few months, and while things had been casual for the most part you felt that the time apart was only making you realise how much you actually liked the man, leaving you with two thoughts as you set your phone down. One, you didn’t want to spend another two weeks chasing each other's voicemails and existing only on goodmorning and goodnight texts no matter how sweet they were and two, from the tone of Sonny’s voice you were sure he felt the same way.

It was with that in mind that you now found yourself standing outside of 1 Hogan Place, biting your lip as you tried to remember if Sonny had ever mentioned which floor he was on. Thankfully the security guard allowed you to fumble your way through your explanation, bag of takeout helping your cause as you mentioned you were just innocently bringing one of the ADA’s dinner. You found your way to Sonny’s office, sighing when you saw that his was the only light on this late on a Friday night. Dating someone who cared so deeply about their work was a blessing ultimately but obviously came with its drawbacks.

You took a deep breath trying to push down the panic that suddenly gripped you, that you were intruding or being a fucking weirdo just turning up out of the blue. What if he thought this was weird? What if he actually didn't want to see you at all and was just using work as a handy excuse to let things fizzle out between you both. You shifted your weight in front of his door, weighing up your options before biting your lip and knocking quietly on his door.

'Yeah?' came an uncertain reply and you pushed it open, all of the apprehension you felt melting away at the look on Sonny's face.

Shock and surprise quickly turned into a wide disarming smile, the same one that had made you very quickly fall for him in the first place and had you relaxing against the doorway now, relieved at finally being able to see each other after a monumentally shitty week.

"Oh man, are you a sight for sore eyes?" he said, sitting back in his chair and looking at you for a moment before jumping up and hurrying over to you, placing hands on either side of your face to kiss you softly. You felt a telltale swoop low in your stomach as you pulled away feeling pleased. ‘Not that I’m not happy as hell to see you but what are you doing here?’ He led you into the room, closing the door behind you.

You held out the plastic bag in his direction, ‘I know you’re too busy to leave the office but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have dinner together?’ You watched nervously as he looked at the bag and back to you, feeling that unease spread again, your face feeling suddenly very warm, ‘Uh but if you are too busy I can just leave this here and go I don’t want to get in the way it’s just-‘ you stopped at his raised hand, watching warily as he grabbed the bag from you and placed it gently on his desk.

When he turned back to you his eyes looked so bright and happy it near knocked the breath out of your chest. He moved in front of you, grabbing your face again and kissing you so tenderly you felt yourself sigh into his mouth, the tense part of you that was desperately missing him uncurling slowly with every brush of his lips and tongue. He pulled back, huffing a laugh and rubbing your cheek with his thumb, ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately.’

You shook your head, ‘Hey I’ve had my own stuff to deal with, I just missed seeing you’ you said by way of explanation, ‘I’m not above taking the subway for you.’

‘Wow how lucky am I?' Sonny looked at you for a moment and you could swear his eyes actually twinkled, 'You didn’t have to come all this way but I’m not gonna pretend like I’m not happy about it.’

Leaning up on your tippy toes you pressed another brief kiss to his lips before turning to the desk, pulling containers out of the plastic bag, ‘Well I don’t know about you but I’m starving, I got a little bit of everything’ you took a seat at his desk, grinning as he sat down in front of you, ‘And I’ve been dying to tell you about my week, you’ll never guess what happened at work.’

‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.’ He muttered, taking a bite of food with a satisfied sigh.

‘Don’t make promises your ass can’t keep Counselor.’ you said, sending him a quick smirk.

The look he gave you in return was a promise that while you'd bought dinner he was definitely going to bring dessert.

[sparrow-in-the-field]

Tbitb One Year Anniversary Celebration Day 1

December 18: Choose a fic/artwork and talk about how you came up with the premise, what the process was like, anything you want to share!!

I promise I'm not gonna yap about The Cormorant for every single prompt this week lmao, but since this is my highest concept fic, I figured I'd kick off the celebrations with it!!

This idea came together gradually and, in a way, was in the works in my head before I even saw tbitb

As I mentioned in the first chapter's ANs, the main inspiration was the song with the same title by San Fermin (which also has some of the sickest album art ever; the whole album is pretty good too btw). Basically, the part that was in the works before I even watched tbitb, was that I knew based on this song that I wanted to write a story with a talking cormorant.

They're just such a cool bird, aesthetically and behaviorally. I adore those freaks and felt like they're the perfect vibe for a fantasy story. But I didn't know what to do with them yet, so the idea just hung out in the back of my mind for a long time.

At one point I almost shoehorned the talking cormorant idea into a stranger things fic, just because I wanted to write something with it so badly. But I scrapped that story for a number of reasons and tbh the bird wouldn't have fit right anyway. I knew deep down the idea deserved its own story.

Enter tbitb. The vibes were much more aligned with what I wanted (I mean come on, a rowing team?? for a cormorant related fic?? perfection), so I start thinking more seriously about the premise and trying to come up with a plot. I considered what I knew I wanted and what more I needed to get there.

I knew I wanted a cormorant to be talking to Bobby in his dreams (based on lyrics from the song). I needed to figure out why. I knew I wanted him and Don to have not seen each other for some time after some kind of break up and have it be a getting back together story. I knew I wanted Don on a boat, because I knew that would be their connection to reunite: Don would have access to get Bobby to the cormorant.

There's a line in the San Fermin song that goes "on this morning you will die but before then you must try to show me what you're worth" so I decided it could be a matter of life and death for Bobby to find this cormorant. Then I had to figure out why.

At some point I had the epiphany of "what if everyone has a bird? what if for some reason, Bobby has to go find his, or he'll die without it?" Boom, just like that I had my plot. And I was very excited that this meant I'd get to assign birds to everyone!

I knew immediately once I decided everyone would have a bird that Don's would be a hummingbird. Once that thought hit me, I literally went "okay I'm actually going to write this."

Last fun fact: I do a lot of brainstorming while I walk on a treadmill. The first full scene I thought of was Bobby and Don fighting and Pip going to Bobby's shoulder instead of leaving with Don. That's when I was like "I have to write this." Pretty sure I got home from the gym and immediately started writing it lol.

Sorry that was a lot of yapping! But yeah, as you can probably tell, this fic is just such a huge personal accomplishment and I love it with my entire being. So yeah, that's kind of how it came to be!

[8turning]

HII can u do a 8turn headcannon abt how they r like crushing on the reader and what they do to show the reader their love for them ?

thank you for this request!! apologies that it took me so long 💔

☆⠀⠀8TURN — when they're pining for you !

hyung line + jangshinz (separately) x gn ! reader ★ fluff. mutual pining. ★ headcannon

warnings: swearing. physical affection. let me know if i missed anything!

n. i have a similar headcannon here about how they'd show their love; this fic will focus more on how they pine for reader since a lot of my thoughts are already shared on that post!! ♡ also this derailed a bit,,, there's implied confessions HELP sorry 🤒

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀〈 REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED ! 〉

⁰⁰¹ : JAEYUN.

wouldn't realize he liked you until someone pointed it out to him 1/2 🤕

^ he would regret thinking deeper about what yoonsung had told him: "are you sure you don't feel anything for them?" . . . queue a montage of every single memory he has with you where his stomach did a "weird flip" that he never chose to acknowledge.

basically. jaeyun was fucked LOL

BUT despite his revelation, he managed to keep himself composed pretty well. he was never overly affectionate with the members so him suddenly getting lost in his thoughts a lot wasn't exactly foreign.

what was foreign, though, was his very apparent distance.

to be fair, he wasn't fully aware he was doing it. it was more so "when i'm around them i get this Feeling. i cant handle that Feeling right now," then he kinda just. goes somewhere else for the time being.

you'd realize it, overthink it all, and text him on a whim that you needed to talk to him.

he'd get so nervous and only then would he really think about his behavior and . . . yeah you deserved an explanation, even if it resulted in rejection for him :(

he wouldn't speak first. he'd want you to feel welcomed to let out any emotion you were feeling; you were the one who wanted to talk, it wouldn't be right of him to take over.

he'd know that no matter his reason, him suddenly avoiding you and saying "i didn't realize" wasn't going to cut it, so swallowing whatever anxiety he had, he confessed then and there. it wasn't too in depth, of course, but it didn't feel right for him to hide it any longer - especially after everything.

but, the silence that followed his confession made all the anxiety bubble up again, only for you to speak about your reciprocated feelings.

in an unknown way, him pulling back from you is what brought you two together in the end; strange how that works.

⁰⁰² : MYUNGHO.

he's not shy in the slightest LMFAOO 💀 it'd be more shocking if you didn't know he liked you.

it doesn't even matter if you two were hanging out with other people either, he'd make a point to sit by you during a movie. even if it wasn't a horror movie, he'd still tell you that if you're scared, you can cling to him (as if he is any better with scary movies . . . his arm ends up around your shoulder anyways).

he's not usually one for talking during a movie, but he cant help but crack jokes here and there, using that as an excuse to lean in closer to you and watch as you try to hold your laughter in, his eyes watching you adoringly.

myungho would pull you into your own little world when you're with one another,,, he'd literally be so obvious about his feelings for you i'm crying.

openly flirting and complimenting you non-stop,,, holding eye contact if you ever caught him looking at you,,,

myungho would literally tell you how much he liked you straight up 🤭 "i like you a lot, y'know that?" "i'm so glad i met you." "you'll let me stay with you, right?"

the only time EVER he'd get shy if it was you who initiated something. he'd actually lose his mind.

it'd be such a stark contrast to the myungho you knew previously that you couldn't help but laugh a bit whenever you caught him like that.

holding his hand out of nowhere or leaning your head on his shoulder is a surefire way to make heat rise along his neck and make him go speechless.

he's so open about it and talks about you so much. his members are SICK OF HIM!!!! /j

minho probably threatened that if he doesn't make a move soon that he'll ask you out himself . . . you'd get a message from myungho the next morning ♡

⁰⁰³ : MINHO.

bye he's so so playful and he'd be able to cover up how he truly felt pretty well, which was both a positive and a negative for him.

positive: he'd be able to hug you nonchalantly or tap his cheek asking for a kiss and you'd think nothing of it.

negative: you'd think nothing of it.

since minho often acts this way with his friends as well, he slowly becomes self-conscious of his actions, worrying that that's all you saw him as - a friend.

he'd probably slowly try to either a: be more forward with you, or b: reserve certain actions for you only.

minho would stop blowing kisses to myungho and asking seungheon to kiss his cheek. he might even go as far as to not be as physically affectionate with his members anymore.

slowly letting you come to the conclusion yourself that the way he treats you is different from his members.

if you weren't the type to fight against him when he acted this way, if you suddenly started reciprocating the same actions towards him, his head would start spinning.

if it was a normal occurrence for you to return his energy, he'd start to wonder if you treated your friends like this as well.

but . . . he never saw you cling onto jaeyun's arms like you do with him . . . and you don't look at haemin the same way you look at him . . . hm . . .

minho crushing on you would be hard to detect until he made more of an effort to let his guard down about it.

you'd pick up on his behavior change pretty quickly which only opened the conversation of "why are you suddenly treating me like i'm special?"

(hint: its because you are special to him).

⁰⁰⁴ : YOONSUNG.

he is taking this to his GRAVE!!! he'd try to be so so so secretive and discreet.

yoonsung falls hard and doesn't want to overwhelm you with how he feels and everything :( wants to try and soak in the feeling of crushing on you but every time he sees you he just gets so overjoyed and just wants to confess right then and there.

which is why he feels he needs to take this to his grave 😭 he's not sure if he will ever be able to fully "calm down" around you enough to properly confess to you the way you deserve to be confessed (he thinks you deserve the world).

tries to act as Normal as he can around you, but most of the time i think he'd fall kind of silent.

whether you're with a group of friends or just talking one-on-one, he'd get so wrapped up in his thoughts and become uncharacteristically quiet.

it was a constant internal battle for yoonsung. he wanted to be near you but also knew he likely couldn't hide how he felt for much longer.

unlike minho, yoonsung wasn't going to hug you or hold your hand out of no where. he did this with his friends, sure, but he didn't see you as just a friend, which made physical affection towards you that much harder.

the lines would get blurred in his brain and he feared if you reciprocated, even if it was platonic, he'd make an assumption that could end up hurting him.

of course, yoonsung was unaware of your feelings towards him as well, and seeing him seemingly pulling away from you, you subconsciously do the same :(

he doesn't realize just how different he was acting towards you until that moment, and as if his heart took control over his brain, he'd spill all of his feelings for you, doing his best to explain away his behavior.

and it worked - who could stay mad at him for too long?

⁰⁰⁵ : HAEMIN.

wouldn't realize he liked you until someone pointed it out to him 2/2 💔

everything would be going perfectly fine for haemin,,, until minho jokingly commented about how much he liked you. then that became all he thought about.

begin haemin's internal debate of if he liked you romantically or not! and if it was true (it was), how long? upon actually giving it a lot of thought . . . he's liked you for a while without really processing his feelings effectively.

and now,,, he cannot properly face you!! at least, not in the beginning.

everything hits him so fast and he's forced to process his emotions at a rapid pace now. he does a decent job at hiding his inner turmoil about the topic, but he eventually confides in kyungmin about it (though it wasn't on purpose),, kyungmin just caught him while he was dazed!! totally not like he went to kyungmin stressing about possibly ruining your friendship hahaha . . .

once he was able to fully "recover" and process everything, he's a goner. heart eyes are permanent.

just so absolutely infatuated with everything you do and say. comes around more often and always manages to take the spot next to you if you're with a group of people.

always always always joking around with you because he loves the sound of your laugher and how happy you seem when you smile, especially when you smile because of him.

in a twisted ending, haemin is grateful that minho made him fall into a crisis. if he hadn't, he wouldn't have been able to have these moments with you.

once you end up together, minho rightfully takes full credits for the relationship starting, kyungmin taking credit for helping haemin get over his fear of ruining everything between you two.

so - albeit his disagreement - haemin accepts that they should get some credit for their help.

but how it all came to be doesn't matter much, as long as in the end, he ended up with you.

⁰⁰⁶ : KYUNGMIN.

i'm not usually fond of the trope of someone who brings up the person they like every time they can but,,,, kyungmin does exactly that. his members get so tired of him for it too HELP (he's gotten into the practice of just,, thinking of you instead of verbally bringing you up so often).

his members' anger (/j) doesn't stop him though!! every chance he gets he talks about you,, the only time that stops is when you're around 🧍‍♂️

you BET the members are gonna poke fun at him for that too LMFAO

when you're around, he'd be much more into listening rather than speaking himself.

"platonic" kisses on the backs of your hands. "platonic" hand holding. (nothing about it is platonic).

kyungmin would love love love to rest his head on your shoulder!! whether he's standing behind you while talking with a group of friends or sitting next to each other watching a movie, he just likes the feeling (bonus points if his arm is looped under yours to play with your fingers).

he'd be in his own head a lot,,, daydreaming and such,,, even though you're right next to him 🧍‍♂️

if you were to nudge him while he was like this, he'd look at you with the most love-filled gaze.

he didn't have to say anything to you, just from the way he looked at you and the light blush forming on his cheeks, you knew. the way your stomach filled with butterflies as you held his gaze was also a great indicator that his look meant something more.

it was then when he saw how your gaze changed too - it changed to one that matched his own. with a deep breath, he'd squeeze your hand before a smile spread across his face.

© 8turning 2023.

[ohsayit]

Fishing out voiced lines (part 1)

So, I have been trying to datamine for the cut Absolute Zevlor. I can't seem to get the parser to work so I have only been looking at the dialogues from 1.0 onwards.

Couldn't find anything other than the one line on the top of one of the files that says he reveals himself a traitor in a conversation but with no actual dialogue being shown. At the moment, I am going through this video from 3 years ago, so pre release I believe. I am trying to fish out bits that sticks out to me that may possibly be part of the cut Absolute Zevlor lines, and also cheery pick some lines for my own liking. They will possibly will feed into the unknown HC of Absolute Zevlor of mine : )

I'd ask who you are, but I've heard of the Blade of Frontiers. I've heard he was a hero though, not a thug.

I have no idea what you mean, my friend.

Allegiance is a murky thing, particularly for a drow.

This is it. I pray I haven't led them all to ruin.

Who in the Nine Hells do you think you are?

(Speak with the dead) Finish..the plan...

(SWD) Go...where...they belong...

Just how much did that damn goblin tell you?

I..I didn't expect to meet a True Soul here.

I know how to pick my allegiances toom, and the Absolute has already won this war.

Ready, at last. Gods, how I've waited for this day.

That was close. Far far too close.

She was not yours to kill. We Might have bought save passage with her.

And you name me the traitor? Gods above, you are working with them!

It's good to know about your story at true.

Looking for information about her tribe. The same fellow who attacked at the gate.

And the Absolute wants them, badly. I will have my reward. I am sure they will be taken care of.

No matter this idiot overheard me. The others will never believe their reluctant leader Zevlor follows the absolute.

You, however, don't factor into it at all.

And so are you. If you ever interfere in my business again, that I promise you.

Shh. Not in mixed company, my friend.

To that point, there is something I'd like to speak with you about, but not in mixed company.

If you stop shouting, they might not find us!

Tilly, there will be time to explain, but we cannot let ourselves be divided now.

Do you have any idea what you have done? What you have ruined?

(SWD) I would have...sacrificed...them all! For the Absolute...

If these sheep can buy me a place among the wolves, then I will use them as I will.

What did you just say?

Ah, a new deity the goblins have taken to. I hoped the prisoner might be more forthcoming about their plan if she thought me had sympathise her.

Tell me what you know.

These people are mine. She can't have them.

I don't know what waits and I don't care. They chose to put their lives in my hands. Why thank you.

Around here? That sounds...dangerous. There is only so far you can push people.

You will soon find out how wrong you are...

You throw away everything I worked for. Why?!

(SWD) I heard tells...whispers...a new power...could raise up those who had been cast out...

Unskilled in the liar who convinces only himself

But they flocked to me when Elturel rejected us. When they needed a sword arm.

You..! Where did you get that mark?

What do you know about the Absolute?!

This one is interesting. It says he is not a Rider. I thought about if he was lying about it, but it doesn't make any sense. It's interesting to see there was an alt background for him. Though I am still die hard fan for Rider Zevlor. Delicious old man.

"I am Zevlor, by the by. Former school teacher, presently, well, something of a defacto leader to beleaguered people"

And he also have some voice lines that belongs to Aradin? lol

We've got a contract to track down some relic. And he wanted in on the job. Eyes lit up when he heard about it.

Well, this is going to make a part 2 to it when I am in the mood to carry on with my English listening test I guess :P I am half an hour in for 1hr 25mi ish audio recordings. Though I feel like a chuck of them are repetitive as I've already listened to.

Sorry I have to put the tag headcanon with this one. I don't have another tag for character analysis (my more written up gibberish) and these sort of bits of information and what not.

[violent-optimism]

A (somewhat organized) collection of thoughts/things I noticed from the new TF #7 Comic (Spoilers!) - Part 1

Hello yes, I have things I would like to say, please!!

Let's start with Soldier.

I think we all knew damn well this was coming, but I don't think anyone expected him to propose A MINUTE after where the last comic ended. They're so cute and perfect for each other in their own twisted way, UGH!!!

Also I love how Heavy says no and he blatantly ignores it because of course he does. Heavy clearly disapproves of this relationship, but I like to think he also said "no" because he understands that Zhanna is fully capable of making that decision on her own and in the end it's not his choice, it's hers.

Soldier has a LOT of scenes and dialogue in this comic and I don't think that's a coincidence. I think it was a very conscious choice to honor Rick May, whom this comic is dedicated to. All of Soldier's scenes were so good and funny and I like to think Rick May would have enjoyed them if he were still here.

2. Miss Pauling and the Australium

There is so much to talk about here but I'm going to try and keep it brief.

Now, this was always kind of my headcanon, but I genuinely think this comic proves that Australium has almost a corrupting ability for those around it (similar to the One Ring in LOTR). Almost like it brings out the worst in people, or at least the greed. Miss Pauling never seemed like a greedy person until she finally got her hands on the Australium. It really didn't seem like her and it was very off-putting (in a good way if that makes sense).

When I first read this I had this horrible, sinking feeling that Miss Pauling was going to betray the mercs and end up being the over-arching villain or something. Needless to say, I'm VERY glad I was wrong. But surely I wasn't the only one who feared this? I mean look at the way she's staring at it the entire comic! (except for the end).

Also I thought Miss Pauling was already second in command?? That's wild. She's done so much for the Administrator and she's not even near the top of the corporate ladder.

3. Spy saving Miss Pauling.

When I tell you I audibly GASPED when this happened. I was on the edge of my seat like I was watching a movie!

Between this scene and the part where Spy tries to comfort Miss Pauling when they're captured, it's obvious that he really, REALLY cares about her. It's so heart-warming that one of the (seemingly) coldest mercs is also the one that was literally willing to jump in front of a plane to save her.

Love it. Love it a lot.

4. Sniper and the Plane

Sniper, my beloved...I can't tell you how happy I was to finally see you in the new comic.

Out of all the things I would expect to be in Sniper's repertoire, being a pilot was definitely not one of them. And yet it just makes sense?? (he might not actually be a licensed pilot per say but the way Spy phrases the question makes me think this isn't the first time).

I also love how his only line of dialogue (I think) in the entire comic is when he suggests to steal a broken down plane lol truly a professional with standards.

I just love this shot SO much. Seeing all of them crammed into that tiny plane is such a hilarious idea on its own. I love how Pyro is reaching for the fire at the front of the plane (I think?) and Medic's hilarious expression as he looks out the window along with the baby baboon (His pet? His child??)

This reaffirms my theory that Sniper is just the designated driver no matter what is going on or what kind of vehicle it is. He looks like he's about to lose it on them like a frustrated dad at any second lol

5. Scout and Miss Pauling

I don't know how anyone else feels about this moment, but I personally LOVED it.

Because let's be honest, the trope of Scout being madly in love with Miss Pauling (and not receiving any ounce of affection back) was starting to become a little old and tiresome at this point. There needed to be some kind of resolution to it, but it's painfully obvious that things were never going to go the way Scout wanted them to.

And I love how he comes to this realization COMPLETELY on his own. Scout is smarter than people give him credit for and it's so refreshing for him to finally show some maturity and realize when enough is enough. It's time for him to move on and he knows that, and we eventually see him following through with it.

I also adore the scene that comes immediately afterwards. There's absolutely no hard feelings on either side and I just love their relationship for exactly what it is.

6. The Administrator Reveal and the Mercs Reactions

I'm not gonna lie, this was.....really fucking creepy. Like, it almost ventured into the horror genre which was not what I expected from a TF Comic (not that I'm complaining at all, I loved it!).

I cannot believe that this whole time Zepheniah Mann has actually been alive, and the Administrator has been keeping him that way and FORCING him to watch his sons pointless war for the rest of his life. Like...DAMN.

I know we still don't fully understand her motivations or why exactly she's doing this but in my opinion that actually makes it scarier. I like that we didn't just get all the answers on a silver platter and the writers still left some mystery, right until the end.

Most of the mercs do a good job at representing how I actually looked while I was reading this scene. Almost everyone looks either horrified or confused. Medic's the only one that looks more fascinated than anything but what else did you expect? lol

Part 2 to come!

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 1

I'm gonna strap in and do a Homestuck reread. I first read the comic when I was 17, and now I'm gonna be 31 in a month. During that time, my opinions on it have varied heavily, so let's see if I can properly collate my thoughts about this comic that has dominated a good chunk of my life.

I actually did give it a reread back in 2021, but I never wrote down any notes about it. Time to correct that mistake.

Right away we're introduced to John Egbert, a character that I've also held differing opinions about during my time in the fandom. I've gone from thinking he's boring, to one of the strongest characters in the story, and back to boring again several times. I hope I can get a more coherent grasp on our ostensible protagonist.

Well, I think it's noteworthy that his introduction page doesn't mention pranks or comedy as one of his interests. Being a goofy prankster is one of his defining character traits, yet the closest thing to that is this mention that he aspires to be a magician.

John's "magic chest" is full of novelty items, so it's easy to see why this dream of being a magician was supplanted with a love of pranks so early on. Hussie conflates close-up magic with practical jokes, and while superficially similar, they're definitely not the same thing.

I think John's "passion for really terrible movies" is the one consistent trait he carries throughout the comic. (And yeah, Mac and Me, Con Air, and Deep Impact all suck shit. John really does have atrocious taste). I don't believe we see any further references to programming, paranormal stuff, magic, or games after this act. Both this and the love of pranks are what solidify John's enduring characteristic of being a light-hearted cornball.

The beauty of user-suggested commands leads to this funny juxtaposition. This also establishes early on that John is easily suggestible; even an absurd command like this is able to tempt him just a tiny bit. This trait (for better or for worse) is one I'd argue is also a key part of John's character, as we'll see later on.

A joke like this was only really possible during these initial months of Obama's presidency. It's funny how it retroactively dates this comic.

John (and I suppose the rest of the kids as well) only has three friends added on his chat client. That's depressing. I wasn't a very sociable kid myself at his age, but I definitely had more than three friends on MSN back in the day. All of whom I met online.

Dave is introduced in the very first pesterlog and already we can see that John is a very annoying person to talk to. Even though he opens the conversation by bringing up Little Monsters, he feels the need to name drop the movie a second time just in case Dave didn't get the reference the first time (which he obviously did, given his response). He's very eager to talk about his special interests, I guess.

This is the first time Rose (TT) is mentioned. Very interesting that the first thing we learn about her is that she apparently has been "mackin on" Dave and asking him to play Sburb with her. Even though Dave is likely embellishing for comedic effect, it tells us that they have a very close relationship, given that he's the first person she asks to play the game with. Also DaveRose Nation has been eating since Page 35 lol.

In the same pesterlog, we get this line where Dave mentions how impractical the strife specibus is, since people obviously aren't regularly engaging in combat. These video game mechanics that seemingly everyone abides by have no practical function in their everyday lives. Clearly world building was not Hussie's first priority when writing this comic.

Correct, John. It really doesn't matter what the characters select as their strife specibus, since combat becomes increasingly irrelevant going forward. Ironically prescient comment.

The GameBro article is hilarious. I love you Dennis, you huge useless tool. Did you know that Dennis from GameBro has his own tag on AO3? I encourage everyone to go read the handful of stories on there because they're all super good.

John has the audacity to call his dad a cornball for liking harlequins, all while he's standing there wearing Groucho Marx glasses and a wizard hat. It's telling of his lack of self-awareness and disdain for other forms of humor that don't align with his own (i.e. lowbrow) tastes.

Here Hussie take a Shakespeare quote and misattributes it to Mark Twain. It's kind of a whatever joke, not really that funny. But then he does it again.

And then again!

Is this gag really that funny that it warrants being done three times in the same act? I think it's fucking lame.

Rose's first pesterlog. From the context here, it seems she and Dave had an off-screen conversation where he told her about John's gift. Her incessant flirting with Dave is also so well known in their friend group that John feels the need to bring it up right away. Jeez DaveRosers can't stop winning.

Note that Rose says "John" here while in the earlier log, Dave refers to Rose as "TT". John also calls her "TT" in a later log. As we later find out, all the kids already know each other's names. The only reason they refer to each other by their screen names is because their intro pages had yet to be released and the audience doesn't know their names yet. I get it, but it does read a little silly in-universe.

Awesome advert. God bless you, GameBro Magazine. BROBLERONE

This page is funny if only because I doubt the majority of Homestuck readers realize that the last paragraph is basically describing a lazy black man. How many of them will read "tawny gent" and "listless octoroon" and think they're just nonsense words?

"Caret Cake" hah okay that's a good one.

Wouldn't it have been crazy if John's missing chunk of hair remained that way until he got a command to fix it or something? But I guess that would've been too much effort for Hussie.

After a bunch of sylladex shenanigans (which I haven't mentioned because I don't find them very amusing. They make up a huge chunk of this act too, which is annoying.) John has finally installed the Sburb Beta. We're not told anything about this game except what is told in the spotty GameBro review, which describes it as some kind of game similar to The Sims where you "play house." And yes, it does resemble The Sims build mode, but this video game affects real life! Rose sets about manipulating objects in John's room and even alters the dimensions of his own house.

John's reaction is... well...

He's not at all fazed that Rose is manipulating reality before his eyes? Are all video games in Homestuck's world like this? I mean, if every character has an inventory system with built-in combat mechanics, it might make sense? This is never properly conveyed though, and it comes across as rather off-putting.

I think this is where the flaws in John's character become really apparent. He's very... underwhelming. He's almost always in this weird neutral state and rarely expresses any strong emotions. When he's frustrated, it's more of a mild annoyance or a temporary freakout before springing back to this basic... I don't even want to call it a "positive outlook" it really does feel like he's in this perpetually neutral state of mind until an external stimulus forces him to act. No thoughts are going on in this boy's head.

Hell, even when he's excited about something, it's only sort of temporary before he moves on to the next thing. He comes across as very emotionally stunted and it's hard to connect with him.

Is there a reason Rose is fucking around with the bathtub? It's not in response to a command, she just does it. She doesn't explain what she was trying to do with it, and only apologizes for dropping it in the middle of the hall since she was intending to move it to the driveway before her connection was interrupted. (The driveway bit was actually a command, but initially clicking on the tub wasn't.)

This insanely out of pocket quote has to be a top 10 Rose moment for sure. John's uncomfortable reaction seals this exchange.

Here's where John calls Rose "TT" as I mentioned earlier. Also, no Dave, you did not tell him to steer clear of the game. In fact, you were the one who suggested he play it with Rose. So why are you acting all weird and telling him to avoid her altogether? My guy, are you jealous or something?

Planet Fucking Jupiter is a top 10 Dave moment for sure.

We get to properly meet Rose. The fact that she hides stuff from the reader and doesn't fully obey some commands tells us that she's definitely not as suggestible as John. It's also funny how she refuses to use her arms at all in response to "Retrieve arms," instead using her legs to hide the box.

Man what's up with this Sims-ass architecture? An outdoor walkway with no railing? And with the weather outside, it's a wonder she didn't slip and fall to her death.

The first "End of Act Flash" is okay. John is faced with the final seconds of the countdown while a suspenseful track by Mark Hadley plays in the background. It's okay, I don't have anything else to say about it.

Overall Act 1 is kinda dull. I know there are people who swear by it, who claim that this is "peak Homestuck," but it's not for me. There are funny moments to be sure, but I can only put up with sylladex shenanigans for so long before things go stale. The biggest issue is that John is not at all an engaging protagonist. He has no agency and feels more like a prop for both Rose and the reader to boss around.

I think this Act suffers from Hussie trying to re-implement the same kind of adventure game format and jokes he used in Problem Sleuth, but it doesn't really work in Homestuck. The characters in Homestuck have actual dialogue and are supposed to be more fleshed out, unlike the comparatively flat characters that comprise the roster of PS.

Don't get me wrong, I adore PS and I don't think the lack of character depth is a detriment. Rather, it helps to put more emphasis on the overarching plot and wacky puzzle solving. It's established that Problem Sleuth is "hard-boiled detective", Ace Dick is "dumb muscle", and Pickle Inspector is "meek and fragile" and the reader doesn't expect them to act outside of their tropes. They truly feel like video game characters that the reader is supposed to control, using their different strengths to progress through the story.

John's problem is that he is ostensibly supposed to read like a 13 year old boy with hobbies and aspirations, but his suggestible nature makes him read more like a robot that blindly follows orders. Homestuck Act 1 wants to have both the wacky adventure game story and more fleshed out characters, but the end result isn't nearly as impressive. Either commit to making another PS-style story where the characters are vessels for the reader's control, or a plot where the characters have actual agency. Taking half-measures like this only creates bad results.

Hoo man this reread is getting off on the wrong foot. Hopefully the next Act is able to salvage things!

Read the next post here.

[archivalofsins]

In a funnier turn of events after getting that Mikoto post out I am feeling more comfortable discussing his character. It was really bugging me that I was perceiving the fandom as an unsafe space to discuss plurality on a two alter system basis. It never seemed appropriate to gush about it given the things I'd been shown being said.

Yet, I was really happy with Double and the Neoplasm voice drama. Because it showed how diverse dissociative identity disorder can be with just two alters. Instead of just doing the same old hi I'm the totally good one and I'd never hurt a fly and I'm sin incarnate sometimes I just do bad shit for the lols you know.

The thing that most media does when discussing that presentation. I don't know how to really tackle my own feelings on it. It's like most my life I grew up seeing it represented as oh no, the evil one is out. As though the person had been possessed almost. So, it was very refreshing to see it be like, "Oh well, they're both just people. No one is as simple as just good or bad. They both have a variety of behavior."

It's something that should by now rightfully be expected when it comes to that sort of representation of it. Yet when it comes to two people always focus on the duality. The light and the dark the good and the evil. They try to separate all nice in neat like that without really focusing on the individuals. So, I was ultimately really pleased by Milgram. Though it could be because I'm more on the older side or just I gave up on looking for good representation and started avoiding anything thar covered it in middle school.

Honestly, I still avoid things that deal with it outside of Milgram. Simply out of habit of thinking, man, is it gonna be this shit again? How do I know it's not that shit again? Oh well, you gotta watch it, of course. I'm not doing that. I don't trust it. Yet with Double, there were just so many great things about it that really made me go.

Yeah, they get it. This is actually great. I couod harp on the lyrics all day.

Like favorite lines were,

1. That'd be good.

With the lyrics before it and how it's enunciated with so much longing paired with the visuals of him wiping the blood to look down into the other end of the train. It really fucking goes hard as a line. Really embodying the whole come on praise me for helping you I did good right I saved you right so hey where's my thank you it'd be good if you said it energy.

2. Doesn't matter if you didn't wish for it, can't get rid of me now. Just the two of us, relieved, aren't you? I'll protect you (us).

Just the enunciation the growl. It's just really good as if going oh you want to push me down well I'm not going anywhere.

3. "He's a liar," you said and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?

The fucking double meaning if this one line is just so got damn amazing. It's not only calling back to the ridiculous accusations lines in Double but discussing the audiences response to Mikoto. Calling him a liar claiming he was faking. But the second half is referring to the audiences reaction to John making him out to be a scoundrel immediately blaming the murders on him. Labeling him as the bad one without even a second thought. Only leaving him to ask why? Putting more meaning behind the line

4. Hey, I just wanted to save you, so why did it come to this? Cling to me hoist me up as your savior stand up and sing out your gratitude- So, why?

As though Mikoto is their asking why is your song like this you should be praising me. You should be grateful so why?

5. I don't remember a thing it couldn't be helped I'm Double (MeMe).

This line is super great because it's like John and Mikoto both claiming onus of their own songs. And John answering Mikoto's question about why his song is like this. Basically going it couldn't be helped I'm Double. Basically saying it was bound to turn out like this because I'm like this.

6. Why, why? If only I were never born, if only-

To me, this came off as John going. If only I had never been born at all, then neither of us would have existed, and this wouldn't have happened. Expanding on the idea that Es and Kotoko both bring up that his existence is the problem. Which most wouldn't immediately go they mean because of my disorder but go yeah fuck it you're right if I never even lived to begin with this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't even be here for this to happen and then the apology after these lines as if apologizing for having been born at its sooo good.

It has no right to be sooooo good. So, yes despite the incredible detriment that this week has been to my mental health and my anxiety literally being on a fucking hundred. Double has been the best fucking thing to ever happen to me personally. And it's so fucking amazing.

I love it so much.

[tr1ck5]

It's so funny how some people think that Quistis should've been Squall's love interest instead of Rinoa either because they think Quistis is prettier and/or because she's known Squall longer. Yet they conveniently ignore the facts, from the game itself, that:

1) Squall literally never liked Quistis in any way whatsoever, not when they were kids in the orphanage and not at Garden. He literally said that when they were kids, Quistis was "difficult to deal with." She annoyed him as a kid. Even after they forgot their childhood, he still didn't like her during all those years at Garden.

2) Then he himself pointed out how inappropriate she was being towards him because she's his teacher. It doesn't matter that she's only a year older than him; she was still in a position of power and authority over him for at least a year. If he actually reciprocated her feelings, their relationship would've been extremely inappropriate and she could've gotten in trouble for it.

Also, these same people like to claim that Rinoa forced him to become her Knight, or really forced him to do whatever she wanted him to do, when he literally made that decision of his own free will. He chose to be Rinoa's Knight because he wanted to. He chose to take Rinoa to Esthar and free her from her coma because he wanted to. He chose to rescue Rinoa from space because he wanted to. No one forced him to do any of that shit.

I swear, these certain people make me scratch my head and wonder if they even played FF8 at all 🤦‍♀️ @angelosearch @doortotomorrow @ethernalium

Listen dear anon, while I totally agree with you on all of this; I've learned a long time ago that people will ship who they wanna ship regardless of canon so I just let them do their thing (and that's part of the beauty of fandom!!) and honestly I've actually read some interesting Squall/Quistis fics in the past that made it work! While it's not my preferred ship *by far*, there's always room for imagination.

That being said, one of the big reason that I personally think Squall/Quistis doesn't really work is that they are simply *too alike*. Both of them have this independent, serious, lone wolf type personality, not to mention we can assume both of them were pretty much prodigies (Squall being looked up to despite everything and being top of his classes + Quistis becoming instructor at friggin' *eighteen*).

Squall thinking Quistis was "annoying" and "difficult to deal with" actually tells us a lot about how Squall also views himself, consciously or not, I think. Tl;dr: Squall doesn't like himself very much -> he and Quistis are pretty alike personality-wise -> ergo: Squall doesn't like Quistis very much. At least that's my reasoning! Now, I do think their relationship gets less tense as the game progresses (though I don't buy her whole 'oh I thought it was love but it was really sisterly love'. Girl was still crushing on Squall, but decided to put a stop to this awkward situation between them in her own way so they could both move on... Maturity!~)

And yes, her pursuing him rather aggressively while being his direct superior is of course one hundred percent inappropriate, but we have to remind ourselves that... She's a teenager. They're all teenagers. Despite the training and the weapons and powerful guardian forces they're still all a bunch of kids on the cusp of becoming adults, with the maturity and wacky hormones that go with it. Of course they're gonna make mistakes.

Look at me going off again oop lol

The whole "Rinoa forced him to become her knight" angle is new (and quite baffling) to me, I must admit. The iconic line ("Even if you become the world's enemy, I'll be your knight") wasn't even said out loud, the idiot said it in his head lmao. But again, fandom gonna fandom, whatcha gonna do!

[wingzie]

Hi!

Do you have a favorite moment back from when you were baby army that stood out to you about Jungkook and Jimin?.

And bonus question: for the sake of going back in the day and how we used to say “I’m going into delulu mode right now”, was there a theory you or someone else might have posted that made you say “ok let me go get my tin hat too”.

Thanks for being with us for such a long time, and thank you for creating a safe space for us!.

Hellooo!!! Thank you for the ask. Hmm... this might be a somewhat long response haha. For me, there was a certain time period as baby army that stood out for me in showing what their bond is like: When Jimin was sick after New Jersey. Side note: The VLive after the concert is LEGENDARY

Anyways, it was obvious that Jimin was not well in Brazil from the reports we got at soundcheck. We know from the Behinds that Jimin asked Jungkook for help if his condition didn't get any better. During TTU, Jimin stopped singing and got emotional. Jungkook kept his promise and sang along in the background. (For both days.) He then thought about jumping over to Jimin's pillar to comfort him, but thought better of it and thankfully waited until they were down.

This showed the upmost trust that they have for each other, on and off stage. There of other examples that shows this, of course. But it's the way they put the others' needs first over their own that hits me each time. They know when the other needs them and they'll do their best to be "There For You" no matter what. That connection is something that continues to beat stronger every single day.

One of my other faovurite moments is from "This moment right here is happiness" from KBS. Funny story: Quite a lot of Army had turned off KBS as soon as BTS had finished. I kept it on and continued to watch the ending collab. I think I confused both my own friends and people on my Timeline by screaming something along the lines of "AHH JIKOOK WERE SINGING TOGETHER CUTELY IN CONFETTI!!" Not many had kept watching like I had, so they had absolutely NO IDEA what the hell I was talking about...And then of course after that finished, Jungkook uploaded GCFH.

Another funny story is related to your delulu quesiton. I am not sure how I feel about the math theories. I somewhat believe in them, but those who know me will know that I absolutely suck at math. I actually failed it three times and never passed. It never stopped me in life though, apart from my inability to count to 13 apparently lol. Just before the release of Who, a GC of mine were talking about the 123 theories. I said that some seemed deliberate, but I couldn't tell overall. Queue Who being released, with Jikook singing at 1:23 and the song being track 13... It's still something the same GC jokes about with me today whenever numbers with Jikook happen. Thank you again for the ask and for the kind words. I'll always do my best. Happy to answer anything that I can! Much love, Becca/Wingzie.

[edennill]

my complicated opinion on the canonicity of the athrabeth is that I think a similar document exists in-universe, and the interactions between finrod and andreth did happen (although perhaps not precisely as described; due to the sheer number of trains of thought present it feels likely this is a compilation of several years worth of conversations), but the actual document is different on many points from the one we have.

like I completely accept the andreth/aegnor content and finrod's vision (which I actually decided had to be the true ending years before stumbling upon that text lol) no questions asked, but the rest of the philosophy... I choose to believe other points were made in the real discussions because some of the extant ones just strike me oddly.

I'm probably esp not that much of a fan of the straight line to Christianity sections... and I am Christian, it's just that the idea really doesn't fit for me, I've never liked the "middle earth is our earth" conceit, and I think everything else not being a 1:1 representation really damages the argument — like tolkien set out as writing fiction, a mythology he would feel in his heart and be comfortable with, he didn't try to be perfectly accurate, and his later attempts at changing that were definitely too late without rebuilding the whole thing from scratch.

and I do feel he did realise that, the athrabeth does seem to be a little discontinued by the end, although maybe I'm mistaken, certainly he recognises the danger of becoming "parodical" unintentionally.

-----

the tale of adanel I take to be definitely non canon for reasons I've mentioned elsewhere (tl;dr fear can certainly lead to evil, but it doesn't work as an original sin, the problem with an original sin is that you have to be 1000% informed about reality and the consequences... the edain don't seem to know what they're doing), but it feels like a niche gondorian apocrypha... it's exactly like the sort of thing someone might come up with based on precisely three tidbits of information:

something awful happened at the beginning of our days

the great enemy was involved because how else

"huh, what was the worst moment of our own history?"

I don't think it's widely believed in, more an academic curiosity. maybe connected to the athrabeth matter by the author (forger?) himself.

[c-cw-f-saeko]

the depths of restaurant row (yokohama liumang headcanons 1/3)

hi! i still have less than a week of delusion allowed so who wants to hear my headcanons about the liumang!!! i shared this with oomfie not too long ago and decided to do more stuff to add to it :D

- east and west wings of qing jin

the thing about the liumang is that low-level and high level members live in a completely different world (as expected). 

an example of this is qing jin, the big high-end restaurant deep in restaurant row. only officers and higher ranked members of the liumang are able to dine in there without getting invited and it is known to be the place where a lot of secret deals happen. dining in there was common sign for the new and lower ranked guys of “i made it!!” 

qing jing do open up on many aspects that only high ranked members have access to. for example, each wing of the restaurant are entries into another level of the underground. 

until the coup-d'état, mabuchi and zhao shared oversight of each wing. zhao always had low interest in cabaret clubs and casinos so he took on the apartment complex. on his part, mabuchi wasted no time showing off his newly acquired second-in-chief of the liumang (and his prominent rags to riches story) by blowing his cash on women and co.

-> the east wing has tunnels leading into mabuchi's purgatory, a pleasure district and gambling hall, replica of the one in kamurocho.

-> the west wing has tunnels leading zhao's apartment complex, a three story building situated somewhere in yokohama which entry is only possible through qing jin.

- the purgatory (mabuchi's dream girl)

pleasure district mabuchi had built as soon as he became the second in power of the liumang. he had visited the purgatory of kamurocho before and wanted his own version under restaurant row. it’s maintained by the highest ranked officers of the liumang.

one way mabuchi revelled in his newly acquired notoriety and money was to indulge in women. he often visited cabaret clubs and spent on the most expensive alcohol. but for the the few times zhao came with him, the girls always seemed to be more interested in zhao than him. hence why he got the purgatory built, so there was an area he’d declared king no matter what.

his purgatory houses many different workers like (highly skilled in performing arts) female escorts, gambling dealers, street fighting competing in an arena, etc. mabuchi aimed to do everything on an even bigger scale and quality than the one in kamurocho. of course, it access is reserved to elites, tycoons and his closest associates. zhao always thought the endeavour was ridiculous, but left him to his devices.

since the purgatory's inauguration, lin lin was one of the most known female escorts there. as she was known to be a very good entertainer (lin lin sings very well, play instruments, and has a good presence). it didn't take long for mabuchi to fall for her. so, he did his best to woo and impress her by any means necessary.

one of the ways being how he named one of the business he was managing after her. it was the newest cabaret club in restaurant row at the time. zhao did kinda make fun of him for doing so much to serenade an escort; which at the end of the day would never accept his advances. however, mabuchi always thought zhao was wrong about that and they fought a lot about it.

(but zhao was right about it actually)

lin lin never really accepted mabuchi - as it was one of her goals to not get more involved than she already was (dating the literal second in-line of the liumang comes with lots of issues isn't it LOL).

as the coup d'etat grew as a looming threat over the liumang, lin lin moved from the purgatory to the said cabaret club. as it is a more normal job anyway and won't have to suffer the consequences of a potential collapse of the purgatory. she could easily play off sharing the same name as a coincidence as only a few even knew mabuchi named it after her.

mabuchi exiled of the city not long after that and relinquished its oversight to zhao.

tesso and zhao at the entrance of the purgatory

zhao introduced the purgatory to tesso shortly after he became the leader of the white mask branch, as a "gift" for rising in the ranks. it's at that point that tesso started to understand the world higher-ups (like zhao and mabuchi) lived in. this is also when he was first given entry to one of the wings of qing jin.

"zhao-san, what am i even supposed to do there?" "uhhhhh, how am i supposed to know," zhao answered, laughing. funny enough, it's not like tesso was a regular customer or cabaret clubs and stuff like that and zhao is the last person to give advice on that. tesso decided to have a taste for one night, to see how it's like.

this is where tesso meets lin lin for first time. seeing a new face for in a long while, she became his guide to show him around and let him know how things goes down here.

tesso and lin lin always share a drink for the rare times tesso spares the time to visit (becoming the leader of the white mask branch, he has less and less time) and they get along well until this day.

- zhao's apartment district

"tesso-kun, take care of this"

as he got into power in the liumang, zhao focused on building an seemingly normal-looking apartment complex that's connected to restaurant row through the underground. it was used for his assassinations 🤩 (there's a body dump in the basement that not the police nor the geomijul can trace back its origin.) zhao also concludes deals with his associates. given its construction, that complex is known to be the most private place in yokohama. not even the geomijul is aware of its use nor entry.

three levels of such alleys and there's an apartment of various use behind each door

in the midst of the coup-d'état and not too long before he left, zhao gave the key to his private apartment complex -- which finally gave him access to the other wing of qing jin. once again, tesso wasn't sure of what to make of it again being the only one of his peers to even have access to qing jin like that. zhao said he could whatever because he thought it would be a waste to not use the building.

(i'll explain tessohui more in another post LOL) but, following the liumang's change of leadership and transition into seonhee becoming the leader, tesso and seonhee got closer. then, he decided on sharing one of the apartment with her there.

given their schedules, this is neither their permanent residence. tesso has a few homes -- he moves frequently between restaurant row and isezaki road (subsequent apartment he wishes yua lived in), depending on the current job. seonhee is usually up in koreatown. they meet in the west wing usually when privacy is needed.

funny enough, every time seonhee has to get there, she's mad as hell 😭 all the way from koreatown with her sandals, her feet always hurt a lot. tesso says time and time again she should try out shoes like his because of this 😂

[galaxymagick]

bg3 playthrough 🗡️

after speaking with godey I spoke to astarion and I’m guessing it’s a glitch or just weird I don’t know because when I spoke to him instead of saying “gods you’re beautiful” or another romance line or something else he was just like "Yes?" the way he talks on first meeting himmmmmm. When I tell you I thought it had reset his approval to the beginning I kinda freaked…lol but I checked after and he was back to saying the usual "gods you’re beautiful" lines ..

edit: i just opened the save i have and his response was different, this time he said "keep your voice down", "quietly, anyone could be listening", "hmm?" and the "yes?" the other responses are farrrr more fitting to the situation than the same delivered "yes?" from before. it would have been better if it was a different delivered "yes?". if i got one of the others first i'd have been like okay. that "yes" doesn't fit. also i didn't mention but after the talk the kennel door locked on us the first time... i reloaded twice this time to check and it didn't lock - i don't know what was happening

but besides that... not me just checking my saves and practically alll the saves (mostly quick saves) while I’m in the palace are gone except the first auto save on entering which im sooo glad about but looks like a few others are missing too what the fck..😭 I have recordings where I can see some of which saves are missing but like where did they go!???

Did cazador somehow delete them out of spite ?????????😭

I even checked the steam cloud and I can’t see them 😭 I don’t know what’s going on. I have the quick saves from the graveyard scene after defeating cazador but nothing before at least 15 quick saves gone from after the auto save when entering cazador's palace. I think some of the Raphael fight saves are missing too and when I was at the house of grief, the guild hall and jaheira’s house I made quick saves then - all gone. So at least 30 saves just gone 😭 actually I think it’s specifically Wednesday’s (15th may) saves.

I luckily have all the steel watch foundry saves which are the latest saves especially glad I have the save where I saved after defeating the Titan but before I blew the factory it up and was like shit the iron throne

… but why would they be gone I didn’t touch them i may have deleted 1 save i saved twice but that's it..actually a lot seem missing from waaay before cause this doesn't seem enough for how i've been saving. Is it cause I have too many?? Or??? And in game half only have the little cloud next to them the older saves don’t.

I only have a dye mod installed, nothing else.

Ugh I knew I should have been copying the saves 😭 i don't think i can get them back right????

I’m overthinking it like I have what looks like everything besides those parts and I have my recent saves that’s all that should matter and I also have the auto save at the beginning of cazador’s palace so I can go to godey again to hear lines if I so wish.. I like to replay some parts esp when talking to astarion you know for my own interactions and hear his responses 🥺

[skyfallscotland]

Hiii me again! I, too, have questions for the ask game 🍓🦋🥤

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I feel like it's redundant to keep saying the same ones, but *whispers* storm in the quiet @justallihere and Political Gain @sarahwyland

But also, in terms of underrated, I just read a little series by Ramzes called The Unseen One, furthering the Sloane/Bodhi agenda (🙏🏼 the lord’s work) and I've also enjoyed The Princess Gambit by JuliLyng so far as well, which is Xaden/OC. Not sure if they have tumblr, but if they're here, hi! 👋🏼

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

So I've always been a reader/writer, since as far back as I can remember (maybe three years old?), I'm pretty sure with the knowledge I have now that I'm hyperlexic.

I'm old enough to have been around for dial-up internet, but when I was a preteen, we got broadband (showing my age). This is to say, don't judge my parents too harshly because internet safety was not a thing back then, but...

I found fanfiction because back then, a lot of people either used livejournal or hosted their own sites, so a lot of fansites, had fanfiction. So while looking at Buffy fansites, I stumbled across Buffy fanfiction and realised I could actually read stories!!! so many stories!! where Buffy and Spike got together earlier or things didn't end tragically for them. So yeah, at 11 I was reading very explicit Spuffy smut on the internet 🫢 I had a system set up where I would play The Sims all day or do school project powerpoints, except I was really reading fanfic and I would flick between screens whenever my parents entered the room.

My mum now has KU and reads dark romance every day, so I guess she comes by it honestly (and yes, I did mean it that way around, I was here first!) 😂

Anyway, when I was 12 I started publishing my first few fanfics on ffnet - Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and a Harry Potter/X-Men Crossover. Each originally written on paper, they were all ridiculously bad, but the latter had people interested enough despite the writing, which encouraged me to try again later down the line with The Vampire Diaries and Jurassic World. I hadn't written for almost ten years and had never finished anything much until last year, by chance, I decided to finally get back into reading actual books and picked up ACOTAR. I finished the series within a week and I was left like?? That's it????

The archive had such a small number of works, I couldn't believe it, so I decided to write my own. I wrote Fury and Siren over the course of three months. I wasn't game to post anything in case I didn't finish it, because I'd never finished anything before. I also put off starting this little book I'd bought 'Fourth Wing' by three months, because I knew I'd be sucked in and would lose the hyperfixation I had, so I forced myself to finish Siren first. And now you all know my life story lol omg I'm so embarrassing to myself 🫠

TLDR: internet

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

Honestly, this is kind of angsty, but this last week I’ve thought a lot about male-dominated fandom spaces and how we’re not welcome in them. We, meaning everyone who isn’t a straight, cis, white male. The Formula 1 community on here seems a little better, probably because it’s female-led, but everywhere else I can’t even look at the comments.

To be honest, I’m tired of being told I don’t belong, or that my opinion means nothing because I’m female. I grew up in a motorsport family, my earliest memories are at racetracks, but men on the internet would have you believe I’m only interested because of what the drivers look like. It’s just…tiring. Those fandom spaces have become a no-go zone for me now, because it just isn’t worth it. We live in a time where no matter what you say someone will attack you which is sad in itself, but it’s so much worse when you’re a woman commenting on a “man’s sport”, not to mention endlessly frustrating because they’re too stupid to tell the difference between equity and equality.

🦋 On a larger note, Palestine. I don’t think more than that needs saying. It hurts my heart.

[ageless-aislynn]

Aislynn's Rumble Jumble of Random Thinky Thoughts on Halo s2 ep 5 "Aleria."

Spoilers, natch. 😉

I was holding out a little bit of hope, especially given that Riz went back for Vannak, that we were going to get some sort of last minute reprieve to save the big fellow. Sadly, no. 😭

John's guilt that Riz went back for Vannak's body because he had been pushing her so hard was understandable but I don't believe that was the whole story, if it was even a part of it at all. I think she went back for him because because he was one of them and they don't leave one of their own behind. More than that, she went back for him because she loves him. Call it the love for a brother, for a comrade, a friend who has been at her side since they were children, she loved him. Of course, you're also welcome to call it romantic as well, you know how I support my fellow shippers 117% at all times 😇 (she says, as if she hasn't totally written Vannak/Riz shippy fic 😂😉)

Poor John, of all the trauma he's been through, this has been by far the worst of it all: he's been abandoned by the UNSC, he's lost his armor, he's lost his identity as Master Chief, he's lost Reach, has lost Cortana, lost Admiral Keyes, lost Kai, lost Vannak and then now Riz. That moment when he tells her she's all he has left just about broke my heart. When she hugged him, he did a brilliant job, IMO, of showing how for a moment, he just wanted to close his eyes and collapse onto her, then pride makes him withdraw and try to pull a facade together like it doesn't matter. *sniffle*

I obviously hope this isn't the last we see of Riz but, at the same time, I'm happy for her. She deserves some peace after the terrifying amount of physical and emotional violence she's been through. Just seeing her smiling at the end made my heart feel a little better. Love you, Riz. I hope we see you again having a great life, bb, you deserve it. 💖

Okay, so I was NOT expecting Laera to go all Negan with a barbed wire bat. 😮 But was it satisfying to watch the quiet menace growing larger and larger, while that shopkeeper dude clearly realized that he would've been better off taking a beating from Soren? Yes, that was very satisfying, indeed, lol! And why I wasn't expecting the UNSC to have taken Kessler is beyond me because of COURSE they know about him (Halsey called him by name, after all) and of COURSE they're going to want a son of a Spartan. Will any of Soren's enhancements have been passed down genetically? Will Kessler be more likely to survive the process if they put him through it? Will they not even have to put him through it at all? I would imagine they have a lot of questions they'd like answered. And Laera and her bat would be very happy to answer them all, I'd imagine... 🥊😠🥊😉

Now, the three most important things about the scenes with Makee, Cortana and not!Thel!Arbiter whom I shall try to now call Var 'Gatanai since that's his name:

I still don't care for Cortana's makeover. 🤷‍♀️I liked the bit of camaraderie between her and Makee, especially with Makee's line about what happens when a useful thing loses its use. I see a forced alliance in their future, if not an actual friendship.

I still keep staring at Makee's eyebrows, wondering if they're more blonde because she dyed them or is it from whatever she went through to bring her back to life after last season. Yes, this is the important thing to keep worrying about. 🙄😜

I had to struggle so hard not to loudly exclaim, "ARE YOU BLINDED BY ITS MAJESTY?" when Cortana showed Var the Halo lands Makee and John frolicked through in season 1. 😇😂😉

And fourth place runner up, I didn't get as many shippy vibes this week between Makee and Var, whom I can call by his name or by not!Thel!Arbiter but not just "the Arbiter" because I'm a card-carrying member of the Fangirls of Arbiter Thel 'Vadam Fan Club and I'm not going to risk losing my membership. 😂😉

My bb boi. *draws sparkly hearts everywhere* 💖💖💖😉

I'm of two minds about them pretty obviously giving Var the Arbiter storyline here. However, if they would've called the character Thel 'Vadam(ee) but not had him voiced by Keith David? Um, HERESY. I don't say that sort of thing often when it comes to new adaptations but, c'mon, he IS the Arbiter when it comes to voices and considering that Thel would be CGI or whatever they're using to create Var and the other Elites, it's not the same sort of prospect as I've heard other people say, that they should've dubbed Steve Downes' voice over Pablo Schreiber's. (Yes, I saw that pop up a couple of times in the earlier days.) I mean, clearly Steve Downes IS Master Chief when it comes to the games but dubbing a live action actor is never going to look smooth, IMO.

Anyway, I think this means we won't be meeting Thel in this series, since his storyline is currently going along without him. 🤷‍♀️

Now to see what's in store for us next week. I am both looking forward to and dreading Kai and John's inevitable reunion. He's going to feel utterly betrayed, I'd think, and as I've said before, if she's not utterly devastated by Vannak's death and feeling guilty over not being there when Silver Team needed her... I'm going to have to super-duper fix that with fic. *nodnods* 😜😉

PS - Am I writing something utterly fluffy for Vannak right now? OF COURSE I am! C'mon, Vannak, jump in the AU Party Warthog, where you'll always be safe and happy!