#my own personal apartment full of ppl

[kitsiyo]

[miamignonette]

…………..

[gay-fordeath]

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[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[hwajin]

☆°. — 2024; in fics !!

since the year is coming to an end (and spotify wrapped finally came out) i wanted to make a short, personal tumblr wrapped, shouting out my fav fics i've read this year; to both recap AND animate other ppl to read them as well!! it's not a ton, but it's the fics that stayed with me the most <3

one shots

☆ ; 22 strokes ; @cb97percent || MYYY fav piece of short erotic literature this year. i've grown out of reading pure smut/ porn without plot and i get soo bored scrolling the smut tags lately, but god THIS was absolute perfection. personally, for me, good smut is when i'm reading more than just nasty fucking; and this definitely delivered. i also remember the visuals so well, like the first sentence i read i was instantly pulled into the same view i had when i first read it!! 10/10 would reread it a million times and not get bored!!!

☆ ; starry night ; @astraystayyh || AHHHH i remembered the feeling i had while i read this INSTANTLY like it catapulted me right back!!! like this is JUST the romantic shit i LOVE and yearn and long for, and reading it tore my heart APART i loved it so so much omg. i kept remembering this one shot from time to time when i visited museums OR looked at my starry night print above my bed!! i need to reread this fully next time i see a van gogh hehe

☆ ; wherever you are ; @hyunverse || god i remember this hurting me just in the right places and then flicking my heart back again. friends to lovers will always be my fav genre of anything EVER but the little twist added to this made this fic SOOO unique and fun?? like the way it's written in parts i enjoyed SO much, the continuous timeline of them growing up together, the writingggg??? this one shot inspired me to a fic of my own (which i've never finished </3) and i feel like that says enough about how much it affected me 🫶🫶

☆ ; the snow falls apart, we fall apart ; @/astraystayyh || i sobbed over this one. SO so much. the time where 'long for you' came out was so crazy because everyone wrote their hearts out and this was amongst my favourites i've read. the visuals are so impressive because i (once again) remember this one shot so vividly before my inner eye, like i remember laying in bed and reading this, close to tears and everything. the longing and unsureness and the unspoken love in this has haunted me for soooo long it all came right back when i saw this fic in my reblogs. i wanna reread it so bad actually especially since it's getting so cold and grey now 😭

serieses

☆ ; super bored ; @straywrds || okay. OKAY. mari, you're already fucking know what i'm about to say because i am annOYING when it comes to this series; but it is, no lying, the best i have ever read. if this was a full on novel i wouldn't even question it a second, and it would be no doubt one of my favourites. when i scrolled through my reblogs to check what fanfictions had struck with me i already knew super bored would be included because it would have been ILLEGAL not to. it was also the only piece i knew by heart, with no need of rereading a first sentence to remember the feeling i had when i first discovered it; i only need a quick glance at blue hydrangeas and frogs for the feelings to come back. or when i think of paris. or when i listen to this and this song (je l'aime à mourir was my most listened to song this year... like hello). like this piece has struck me SO incredibly deep and i so so hope that you know that!! (i doubt that you don't.... i was and still am in your asks about it like a leech jfjejd) like i truly and genuinely don't believe that there's another reader who loves super bored as much as me, the way my throat formed a clump when i skimmed over the tags i wrote!!! i miss the universe so so much, i hope (without any intended pressure, of course) that you get the time and motivation to finish it at some point, even if it's in 10 years time!!! after yapping so much i wanted to truly thank you for writing and sharing this piece with us; i hold it dear to my heart, every single day <3

[convenientalias]

Why Nirvana in Fire Wins at Revenge Story with Identity Porn

Nirvana in Fire was my first ever cdrama that was a revenge story with identity porn. Since then, I've seen many other dramas along similar lines. A League of Nobleman. Blood of Youth. City of Streamer. Fighting for Love. Legend of Anle. Long Ballad. Princess Weiyoung. Rise of Phoenixes. Sword Dynasty. Weaving a Tale of Love. Word of Honor. Some of them are quite good but none of them really hit the same way. So, apart from the fact that it was the first one I ever watched, I thought I'd made a brief list of reasons why I think Nirvana in Fire is the best.

Lin Shu's Identity

I just appreciate that when shit went down and Lin Shu's whole family and army and many of his friends were killed and he became a man on the run, he was a full-grown man (okay, still pretty young, but definitely not a child) with his own life and even an army position.

A lot of these identity porn dramas will have their MCs meeting ppl for the first time in many years, in disguise, but they only knew these ppl when they were children. Childhood friends are great and all that, but can they hit as hard as the complicated, fleshed out relationships that Lin Shu had and lost? He had a friendship of many years with Jingyan. He had an engagement and a longstanding friendship with Nihuang. He has friends from the army, younger cousins playing the role of "we don't even understand what happened back then and maybe that's better", older friends and relations who he actually knew as an adult.

Simultaneously, his past identity increases the threat of discovery for Lin Shu. He's a known factor to many, many people in the capital. Yes, they think he's dead. But small things like a hazelnut allergy or his mannerisms or his previous friendships with people are still memorable enough that even with a completely different face, if he's not careful, he might give himself away. He's not infiltrating a group of strangers or people who only knew him as a kid. He's infiltrating a group of people who were close to him for many, many years of his life.

HOWEVER. Lin Shu's identity is not so important that everyone in the capital is still obsessed with him twelve years later (with some exceptions). This isn't Mysterious Lotus Casebook where we're all still pining for Li Xiangyi, because...

2. The Chiyan Case Wasn't Even About Lin Shu?? (Also, No One Cares About That Ancient History Anymore (Jingyan, Sit Down))

The Chiyan case wasn't about the Lin family at all, really.

No one specifically wanted Lin Shu dead or had a big grudge against his dad or anything. It's all about power, military and political. For some conspirators, it was just about getting a leg up in court. But mostly, it was about Prince Qi, the previous crown prince. The Lin family just happened to be friends with him and ended up in an uncomfortable (highly murderable and frameable) position.

Lin Shu may mourn his family, but for the majority of the show, he doesn't talk about it. He doesn't talk about his mother and his family back at the capital either committing suicide or being killed indiscriminately. He only mentions his father's name a handful of times in the whole show. Lin Shu's drive is that his father's ARMY was killed, tens of thousands of men. That's the weight on Lin Shu's shoulders: the death of all these innocent men because they were in the way. The Chiyan Case; the Chiyan Massacre. The denouement of Lin Shu's victory (not to give too many spoilers) is not just his father's name being cleared of a treason charge. It's when there's finally a memorial put up for the Chiyan Army, with memorial tablets that he can publicly visit to pay respects.

Why does this make it a better revenge story with identity porn? A couple reasons. First, Lin Shu is very much the center of the story and has very personal beef, but he treats himself like a tool and his objective isn't about himself or familial connections (they're part of it but they're not everything). He doesn't even know all the people he's avenging. That's fine; he'll still carry that weight. I just think it's neat.

Second, the fact that the Lin family (and the whole Chiyan Army) were really just collateral damage for getting rid of Prince Qi really emphasizes just how careless the current regime is of the value of human life.

Third, as Meng Zhi says when Lin Shu comes to the capital, everyone at court is busy with their own little power struggles and no one has time to care about Lin Shu or protect him. Lin Shu's like yeah that's fine :) I'm not anyone's focus anymore and the Lin family has been swept under the rug like we never existed :) and no one even talks about the Chiyan case anymore for fear of being accuse of treason :) that's all okay because I'm about TO MAKE THIS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM ANYWAY and honestly the fact that everyone's trying their hardest to forget will just make them more oblivious when I come to fuck them up.

3. All Of This is Whose Fault, Again?

That's right, folks, we're in a show that knows that when shit goes down at court and your family gets framed for treason and the emperor orders them executed, sure, you can blame the conspirators who framed them all you want, but also, YOU KIND OF DO HAVE TO BLAME THE EMPEROR.

People have said enough about how great this is on a thematic level of accountability but seriously I've seen so many shows dodge this. ~It's not the emperor's fault bc he was misled by these conspirators~ or ~the emperor is only a puppet emperor, if he actually had power instead of this evil person, he would put everything right.~ Or, if they dare to blame the emperor, maybe he's just an evil emperor and was bad all along. NIF says yeah, he was lied to on many levels. There was a whole complicated conspiracy going on and many people to blame. But he could have taken things slower. He could have required better evidence. He could have trusted people who had supported him for many years, at least enough to listen to their side of the story BEFORE KILLING THEM. And why didn't he? It's not because he's an idiot. It's because he's an emperor, and emperors don't like seeing other people gain enough power to even potentially become a threat. It's because he wasn't looking for the truth, he was looking for an excuse to kill. And he's not unusually evil for that; this kind of callousness towards murder and grasping for power at all costs is more the norm at court than any kind of honor or morality.

The Emperor's a nice guy sometimes! He used to fly kites with Lin Shu when he was young! His sons give him a headache, but honestly, relatable, they'd give you a headache too! He likes Consort Jing and honestly, who wouldn't! And he killed one of his sons, one of his closest friends, and an entire army, and he would do it again without hesitation. He's not especially evil. Being an emperor is bad enough.

4. Other Bad Guys

It's worth mentioning that Lin Shu's opponents are not stupid.

Xie Yu and Xia Jiang, Prince Yu and the Crown Prince, even the Empress and Noble Consort Yue: They aren't all geniuses, but they aren't idiots flailing around in spite. They're pretty smart, and if Lin Shu wants to take them down, he has to be smarter.

It's also worth mentioning that this is not one of those shows where the protagonist happens to take down his opponents mostly by standing still and just defending himself when they lash out at him. This seems like an obvious thing in a revenge drama, but the number of times I've seen the opposite, the protagonist swearing revenge and then just struggling with self preservation.... but no. Lin Shu has A Plan. He is going to be proactive and actually take his enemies down. Admittedly he will do this by revealing their past misdeeds but this isn't a case of "the misdeeds will just happen to pop up". This is a case of "I will actively unearth skeletons from where you threw them in a well in an abandoned manor".

TO SUM UP

Without going into the things that make Nirvana in Fire a great show in general (great acting, good pacing and plotting, good costuming, and so on and so forth) I think the main things that make it hit for me as a revenge story with identity porn are 1) letting the MC's past identity be that of a grown man who actually had a life (more connections to the past, but also more to lose and more danger in the present as a result), 2) the fact that the offense that the MC is avenging wasn't even like a personal thing to the offenders (bc! it's fucking infuriating!), 3) the fact that the drama is willing to face the root of the problem (the problem is both corruption at court and the fact that the highest arbiter is flawed, not just individual conspirators), 4) the supply of multiple good antagonists, and 5) LETTING THE MC ACTUALLY, ACTIVELY PURSUE REVENGE AND THAT'S THE MAIN PLOT AND WE AREN'T SPENDING MOST OF OUR SCREENTIME ON SIDEPLOTS AND ROMANCE OR MERE SELF PRESERVATION. These may not seem like large things but my friends, you would be surprised how many revenge dramas I've watched at this point that can't do them.

ok I'm done ranting. Feel like most of this is actually stating the obvious but I'm just in a mood and had to get it out. (...also possibly I've been let down by some revenge dramas lately but I won't get into it. it's okay. we can't all be Nirvana in Fire; only Nirvana in Fire can be Nirvana in Fire.)

[amorremanet]

For Fandom confession ask game: I think jiang cheng loved Wei wuxian in a more than brotherly or platonic way but didn't have the emotional knowledge to recognize it and that's why it hurt him so bad when Wei wuxian defected from the jiang sect and later went off lan wangji because Wei wuxian was supposed to be his person and he left him behind

Y E A H

YEAH

And this isn't even me being amatonormative about it, because it doesn't even have to be romantic or sexual to be an intensity that is beyond what is typical of siblings or best friends or sworn confidantes. I posted once about how Jiang Cheng embodies Jo March's reaction to John Brooke asking to court Meg in Little Women:

“Of course not. It would be idiotic! I knew there was mischief brewing. I felt it, and now it’s worse than I imagined. I just wish I could marry Meg myself, and keep her safe in the family.“

IF ONLY HE COULD MARRY WEI WUXIAN HIMSELF AND KEEP HIM SAFE IN THE FAMILY!!

Of course, if you are interpreting this in a romantic/sexual context, there is SO MUCH to unpack there, especially re: his resentment towards Wangji, and it is outrageous to me that it's not one of the top Jiang Cheng ships.

[kakiastro]

The 4th House: Your Inner World

We do not talk about the 4h enough on here! This area in life can really reveal what’s happening in a person life that they don’t show in public.

-when ppl think of the 4h, the first thought is family. This shows you how you were raised, the type of home environment you grew up in. It indicates the type of themes you will face into your adulthood that reflects your childhood. This also show the emotional state of your family. If you have any planets in your 4h, you may have several family members with that planetary sign rulers, or whatever sign you have your mercury in:

Example: if you have Mercury Scorpio living in your 4h, you may several family members with Gemini/3h, Virgo/6h, Scorpio/ 8h placements somewhere in there chart.

- the 4h rules your whole family ancestry on your mother side. You can see the struggles and successes they had. The ruler of your 4hsign and placement can give you even more insight. Your 4h is like your genealogy just without the names, places and things. However, you can see the energy and what was passed down to you. This is where family stories that’s been passed down to you comes into play, write those down and look at your 4h. Even if you don’t know much about your family history, study your mom or grandmother life, that reveals patterns that was passed down to them and you.

-this actually shows who a person is underneath the surface. The 4h literally sits at the bottom of your chart. It’s the anchor, the thing that keeps you grounded. Despite what you show to your everyone else (10h), your 4h is who you are when you’re at home in your undies, your naked here.

Example: a person with a Mars 4h has a very active home life, there’s always something going on(good or bad). They may feel themselves at home then out in public. If they invite you to their house, you’ll see a completely different person than you thought you knew.

-you know the phrase “who raised yall?” All that can be seen in the 4h. Now Saturn rules over parenting but the 4h shows how that played out. How you were raised (4h) shows up in your very public life. Now if the ruler of your 4h shows up in a public house, everyone may knows your business.

Example: Kim Karsashian 4h planet ruler is in her 1h. The 1h is literally you, with the 4h in her house, her family is a main part of her image and life this incarnation.

-a A LOT of people don’t know this because it’s not that taught in a lot of public spaces but the 4h is connected to your death. The 4h rules endings of life. When people think of death, they think of Pluto because it rules over death. It’s a different kind of death though. So, the 4h is when you actually leave this realm but the 8h is the process and transformation of your death. It’s also what you left to those you love such as your beneficiaries etc. I hope this is making sense lol. Let me know if you want me to make a separate post on this topic

Example: Kurt Cobain has a 4h Sagittarius with ruler Jupiter in Cancer 10h. First, his death was very public globally, and is still talked about to this day(Sag). Everyone has there own opinions and ideal on his death which is also very Sagittarius He passed in his home(Cancer 10).

*DONT go looking at your chart trying to predict your death either after this nor don’t message me asking if I can read your chart about it. The answer is No! You’ll just give yourself anxiety and drive yourself cray. If you’re alive, focus on your mission only, focus on Life!!

- on the spiritual side of things, the 4h rules over your Soul family and soul ancestry. This is different than your regular family that you were born into. This family are the ones who’s been with you for several lifetimes and dimensions. Now, some of you family members may be apart of your soul family but this isn’t the case for everyone.

I’ll end this post here but I am open for full natal chart readings, check my pin page to see other options! Happy July!!

[inchidentally]

Wait is Lily living in Monaco now?? Did I miss that?

ajavsjsbdj had a bunch of discussion about this last night after this Oscar interview bc it’s not clear if she flew out to be w him or was already there - and my personal conclusion is she flew out when she found out about the win and doesn’t live there yet!

if she was in Monaco during the GP then she’d have gone to it with Oscar rather than be alone in a strange city since none of Oscar’s family were over. she also would’ve gotten that apartment unpacked and decorated which it very much has not been ahavbsbd. and also I feel like Kim (his trainer) must live with Oscar? he’s there with him full time so far in Monaco and no way can a personal trainer to a driver only in his second season afford a place - and residency! - on his own. so maaaaaybe all three of them live in one of those little apartments together but I doubt it? seems like a typical guys apartment from the messy ass glimpses we’ve seen

we won’t know for sure unless Oscar shares that info or K*m Ilm*n leaks it

I’ve seen ppl say Monaco isn’t convenient commuting even if you can find work “nearby” unless you fly in and out of Nice each time - so who actually knows when she’d choose to live there when she gets a job! Monaco is for Oscar’s convenience and for money but apparently it’s incredibly boring for wags unless they’re influencers or work there like Alexandra does. and I’m rooting for Lily I hope she goes only where the best job for her is and that Oscar isn’t a factor in that bc I hate how women at all have to alter their lives for men esp men with all consuming insane careers and Lily’s already put so much work in for traveling to be with him (while keeping up all her studying and work!!!) so yea here’s to taking all that hard work for her degree and being like ok I’m working where I work I’ll see you when I can babe !!

[eruverse]

I personally never agree with the headcanons that Ivan lives in the city/apartment complex/old mansions etc etc. No offense to the ppl who headcanon that ofc, but that boy is forever a country boy in my mind. His properties include rural houses (not very large but sturdy) with wide garden ran over by dandelions and chamomiles and extensive basement full of pickled foods. He owns dachas here and there, built with his own hands.

When he comes to the capital (often) he lives in a good place specifically given to him by bosses, but his heart longs for somewhere quieter and closer to the nature always. He is not averse to displays of wealth, and he is like a blend of frugal and hoarding (of sentimental things, but the things he actually needs is often what he lacks) but his most prized possessions aren’t found in the city to say abt it. He loves the city tho, ofc (like he loves all of the country)

[b3achysurfer]

SBG POST!! (hxh moots please ignore this 😓)

** disclaimer: DO NOT SEND HATE TO ANYONE!!!! whether or not they agree with what I’m going to say, please don’t send hate to them. if anything I say comes off as harsh/rude, just know that’s not my intention.

deadass wasn’t gonna say anything because I genuinely don’t care, but some of my friends/supporters are getting hate and it’s starting to annoy me. also my name got dragged in so it’s free game now 😛 **

posting this on my main for reach, but my side blog for sbg is @b3achysurfur !!

Someone sent me a post that was talking about how the fandom thinks it’s okay to hate Logan for being a nerd but not anyone else for the tropes they’re based on. They also said that people have been “getting defensive about their right to hate a charater”. The person probably has me blocked and won’t see this but idrc bc they were talking about me (to some extent).

no one is getting defensive about their “right to hate a character”. from what I’ve seen (and posted) it was just people pointing out how silly it is to say “oh you can’t hate this character 😡”. that’s literally it lmao. that’s not being “defensive”, it’s just pointing out how stupid you guys sound. also, it applies to you too? you can hate/like whoever you want.

“i'd be stabbed 27 times and set on fire for saying anything remotely bad about aiden but logan gets away scot free bc he's a ‘nerd’ and ppl simply dislike him bc of his trope? the double standards are just odd, that's what i'm addressing.” Scot-free? No I didn’t “get away scot free”. I got sent death threats, sm1 attempted to dox me, my dms were full of hate, and there was post after post of people saying things about me (some of which came from people you associate yourself with op). It just looks like I “got away scot-free” because I’m not a little bitch and can deal with backlash for my opinions.

you guys created this environment where everyone has to like everything! everyone has to feel the same way about everything! and a lot of you have this mob mentality and just follow the crowd instead of having you’re own opinions. There is no “double standard”. You guys hate on anyone and everyone for their personal opinions.

“what's the difference between them and everyone else? i'm "allowed to hate" these characters, but if i posted my opinion on someone like aiden, who is a mostly beloved character by the fandom, i'd get Rattled.” Nothing! There’s no difference! Only problem is none of you have the balls to express your opinions out loud. Not that I blame you tho, from my experience the fandom is very agressive when you disagree with them. And by the way, I was never “allowed to hate” Logan. Can’t even count how many people made posts saying, “dni if you hate Logan/any of the main cast” lol. Which also confuses me op. You can’t really complain about it when you’re apart of the problem, no?

“and anyways i'm talking abt the fact that people are defending beachy for their opinions, the majority of us dislike them but it's still insane the difference” I know people hate me, idrc ab that. but the fact that you complained about not being able to dislike any of the main charaters than added that you (as well as most of sbg tumblr) don’t like me bc of my opinion is so hypocritical. Do you not hear yourself?? Also people defend me because you guys get nasty quick. most of my posts are JOKES. yes I hate Logan, but I’m not being serious when I write things about him. Not to mention most the people who defend me now were at my thoart when we first started interacting.

Having different opinions on characters and vocalizing it is very important to fandom growth. You guys need to understand this. If you force everyone is like a charater then not only does it make the fandom boring to interact with it but it also creates drama. AKA THE WHOLE “LOWAR”. SHI WOULDVE NEVER HAPPENED IF I WAS ALLOWED TO DISLIKE LOGAN LMAO??? Not to mention, it allows you to see different perspectives and versions of the same charater just through someone else’s eyes. That’s why our fanon versions of charaters are just copy and paste of the canon versions. Because you guys never give anyone space to be creative. As soon as you don’t agree with it, you all jump on the person and make it a problem. It’s annoying.

If you don’t want to be attacked for your opinions on a charater then stop attacking others for their opinions. Obviously this problem won’t be fixed immediately but it’s one person at a time yk? Just know if you hate a character, you should expect at least a bit of backlash and debate. Shi I still argue with people and it’s been like 3 months. Just remember to be open minded, respectful, and have fun!!

“Hating” on a charater doesn’t have to be negative/drama. it’s you guys that make it into that. Relax a bit and have a little more fun. Or don’t, it’s ya life 🤷‍♀️

—- btw if you ever have a problem with me, talk to me about it or stfu. Stop attacking my friends/supporters. you can dm me, tag me in a post, send me an ask, comment, reblog, idc. I’ll respond (on my sbg side blog). Or just block and ignore me. Thanks 😛

[golbrocklovely]

here are my opinions on snc's new video :)

i actually really enjoyed this one. the couple that they have done this year haven't been my most favorite (apart from the ones with the boys bc those are really funny but had a good amount of spooky mixed in) but this one felt like an older video, if that makes any sense. like it felt like a vid from 2021 or something, and i actually really like that in a way.

also they finally came to my state which is makes this even better lol

i think what was nice was the amount of time they spent in each place. it felt evenly spaced out (minus the last spot but i kinda understand why). the last time they did something like this, it felt so rushed and like none of the places really got a spotlight, but this video, i think, worked out the kinks of the last one.

now to get into more specifics...

farnsworth house - so i was a bit confused how jeremy has his own room, but it's not the room he died in bc that is sara's room??? that was a bit weird to me but okay then lol

them freaking out about the door "hitting" amanda…. imma be honest that part is so dumb. clearly it was just swinging back towards her bc they opened it. my thing with houses that are super old is that you can't trust creaks or knocks or doors. like yeah, maybe they are weird and creepy in the moment and you can't handle how you deal with things at that point, but after the fact it's just so obvious it's an old fucking house and not paranormal, at least to me.

but them constantly hearing footsteps was very odd, especially since they were assumingly alone in the houses. that part is very weird.

i liked that there was a lot of active spirits there. what i am a bit bummed about is we never found out what laura wanted to say to colby. also colby being drawn to the one bathroom, which is were jeremy died… that man is psychic and needs to get back onto that empath grind sksks

the emotion ball thing was dumb. sorry. don't try that again lol

i get why they use the spirit box but it is so hard to understand anything that comes out of it. i personally wish they would just stick to the alice box/estes method.

jennie wade house - first off their guide was a 10/10. she very much reminded me of ppl from philly, and i have no way of explaining why lol

it's a shame what happened to jennie. and i personally think that the soldier in the previous house did kill her, even if on accident.

what i will say tho is how is it that her father was a terrible drunk and downright shit dude, and everyone just accepts he was an asshole… but rosa carmichael was possessed by a demon or the devil??? she couldn't have been just a terrible fucking person who hated kids??? idk, just asking questions here.

again at this place, it was nice that they had "intelligent" spirits bc them interacting with the equipment was cool to see.

sam seeing a face was actually cool, bc nine times out of ten the boys gloss over shit like that and then pretend it didn't happen later down the line.

child spirits always make me sad. it's such a shame when children die. breaks my heart.

soldiers homestead orphanage - imma be honest, do i think this place has a demonic energy in it? ehh, idk. do i think it's possible that soldiers, as they lay there dying slowly, started praying to the devil? sure. i can see that being a thing. idk if that place is demonic tho.

personally, this place falls just an ounce flat for me only bc amanda and her preachy ways comes back full force and it just gets on my nerves lol

hey, just like 2021!

it was a bit much how terrified they were to go into the basement so every creak of footsteps scared them out of the doorway. at that point they should have just stood there and waited to hear the noises. i know at one point the steps sounded really loud so that definitely is worth being spooked out, but after the fifth time of them doing that it wasn't scary anymore - it was annoying.

the estes method was interesting, but again… idk how i feel about the place being demonic.

i think overall i would rate this video like a 7.5/10, maybe an 8 if i'm feeling really generous. it was good, got some good evidence in there, and it happened in my state so that already raises the score lol

please come back to pa snc. i need you to redo pennhurst so badly it's not funny.

lmk what you think if you wanna :)

[homosexualasstransbian]

im transfem/nonbinary and honestly the whole cutesy uwu anime girl puppy girl aesthetic is making me feel ill. i recently got harrassed by a cis woman chaser who saw the transflag in my bio and started talking to me in this really weird overly cutesy way and started flirting with me, i told her im taken and not interested and this is weird and she said something like "oki u silly transie, if u ever need a girly to do something for you im here, cuz nornal girls are boring" and then the next day she sent me some image of some anime girl w/ the caption "im not like other girls, i have a massive cock" and asked "this u?" and she was so weird and gross and overly cutesy. and like the fact im trans is part of me and im proud of it but i want to be seen as me, as a person, as smthn beyond arbitrary boxes. thats why im nonbinary, i dont wanna be forced into some made up vague perception of how i have to be and instead just be me and do my own thing. i dont label my sexuality either but im pretty sure im like pretty aromantic. greyromantic or whatever its called. and my sexuality i kinda tie together with my romantic attraction, so its often incredibly odd to me how prevalent sexual language and stuff is online and how weirdly its treated as smthn normal, especially in more queer communities. and when i feel terrible and get support online, ppl will say ooo ur pretty ooo ur cute dont be sad and downplay it when i need someone to talk to qnd need to be acknoledged beyond how i physically am, it makes me feel rlly objectified and like my only value is in the fact that i am trans and how i look, and its my only thing and the only way ppl refer to me and boil me down to. but i dont want to be some cutesy meme girl, i want ppl to acknowledge me and what i do and like and love and enjoy and hate and dislike and think and say, i want to be seen and understood regardless of and beyond my transness. because im a raw, living breathing human person thats infinitely complex, and i just wanna be me and do what i enjoy. i dont want my personality boiled down to superficial aspects of me that exists solely because outside society needed a label for it to ostrasize or fetishize it. im sorry for the long rant its just rlly frustrating, especially when you try to find communities and its just so weirdly sexual and condescending and objectifying 😭

hey unfortunately, i do not have the mental capacity to be able to read all of this and actually respond to it, i just lose 80% of the ask once I'm finished reading, so I'll just say: damn fuck that cis bitch.

While i get that after your experiences this "aesthetic" might make you feel ill, i really don't see why i should be told this.

I do not choose the way i present to other people because it's what i feel i should look or act like, i act however feels good to me. the reason my blog looks like this is because, put simply, i like it.

I may not be just a puppy, girl or gay, in fact the most accurate way to describe me would be "thing that should not be alive as far as anyone knows, but it persists, it's also a puppy that is a girl, a robot, a void and divine flesh"

but i go with my current aesthetic, username, and whatever else because they're the descriptions I'm most confident in, they make me feel nice, i love them.

I am quite literally a tranny girl faggot that acts like a puppy sometimes.

Sometimes i feel like I'm a shattered vessel built of divine flesh that's empty and yet so completely full.

Sometimes i wish my flesh melted away, permanently fusing me with the outer shell of a mech.

None of my identities are fully separate or stable, but they also feel distinct enough that i only choose one at a time (and even then sometimes they can split apart).

I don't act like this because i wanna be "haha silly cute trans girl that's an adorable puppy and is so so overly sexual", it's just what i act like, in general, if I don't worry about pretending to be someone else.

I guess put simply: if you don't like me: fucking leave, block me, get rid of me, i won't hold it against you, I'll continue to do what i like, the way i like doing it, because this is my blog.

i forgot where i was going with this post, y'all just get this really long one i guess.

[freckliedan]

yk when you talk about mpreg (you absolutely do not have to answer his btw) do you mean the one getting pregnant has """"female"""" anatomy or just . is a cis man who Somehow gets pregnant

coz i've never known like when ppl talk about mpreg do you imagine one of the people as trans or just Somehow being a cis man w a uterus of a Secret third thing like????!!

hi anon!!!!! ty for asking me this i LOVE to yell about mpreg. the thing about this is that literally every person you ask would have a different answer. and i personally am fascinated by how many different ways there are of conceptualizing and writing about mpreg so i'm willing to read most things?

on my own blog when i'm riffing about phan mpreg i would say i'm picturing neither of the options you mentioned in your first paragraph?

in general¹ i am at best disinterested, at worst squicked by mpreg or omegaverse (or even transmasc fics) where the character who can get pregnant's body is referred to with exclusively "female" terms/has a body like a cis woman's/that is pointedly emasculated or feminized.

nothing inherently wrong with that being someone's cup of tea but it just makes me personally uncomfortable bc of how i and the lovers i've had have experienced transness! & i know that's maybe not 1:1 what you were asking with your phrasing but it's something i see pretty commonly so i figured it was worth mentioning.

i also don't necessarily picture them as cis men who magically got pregnant either? that's way closer, but it's less interesting to me on a personal gender and potential worldbuilding level. a lot of the time fics that do this are also going for mpreg being more medically traumatic/dangerous rather than a normal occurence and i'm overall pretty ehhhh on the execution of that. it can end up pretty intersexist & transphobic at times.

oooh no men ever get pregnant but the protagonist of this fic is an exception and it could kill him and there's relationship problems now about this being a surprise AND whether to keep the baby. have we mentioned yet that no men ever get pregnant and that there's something seriously weird about someone having atypical sex characteristics²?

you get the picture.

overall my posting is essentially playing in an unspecified/vague (and impossible) realm where both dan and phil are their usual selves—so overall still have the primary and secondary sex characteristics cis men do—but they ALSO have uteruses etc & maybe an associated extra hole. and the base assumption is that that mix of traits isn't atypical for the universe i'm playing in when i explore concepts?

overall the way think about phan mpreg is much closer to omegaverse biology than our own, but without the more wolfy aspects of omegaverse? it's not realistic or possible biologically. clearly defining that aspect would make it fall apart. and that's fine!

figuring out the nitty gritty of how birth & biology works isn't the fun part for me? the fun part is "how would dan and phil react to an unplanned pregnancy in a world where they are the same besides that being possible for them". i do usually imagine it being possible for both of them to become pregnant and cause a pregnancy? but the details on how it's possible are adaptable moment to moment depending on what suits my fancy.

for full transparency, this is all just in regards to phan mpreg. i think that people could teach college courses on destiel mpreg. there's SO many different interesting ways i've seen that go that are completely incompatable with the way i enjoy being silly about dan and phil. and that's just one example?

my ideal mpreg universes when crafting aus for fave existing characters are very much so in line with "trans man but no need for top surgery and he gets to have a built in functioning dick & balls, no surgery required there either"³. but that inherently takes things more seriously than i take phan mpreg posting.

or i just go with a character being a trans man? one of my OCs is a trans man as well, and in happier AUs⁴ of my original story he gets to have a family with his lover.

i hope this helped but i really have no idea whether it did or not! either way thanks for the excuse to ramble.

¹i have read exactly one omegaverse mpreg that falls in this category that has an execution i actually enjoy, and i think it's because it's self aware and intentional about what it's doing.

²it is somehow worse when people do actually say "this is because the person who got pregnant is intersex". i've never once seen that actually done well.

³this is transgender wish fulfullment.

⁴unfortunately for him his lover is very much so doomed by the canon narrative. reason why i'm on about AUs of my original writing. i post about my original story @unloneliest and @ostrela-wip

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Your headcanons are always wonderful and accurate, can I please request some for shiratorizawa if you want?

oh my god hell yeah anon let's go

tendou's studying playlist is just all chill lofi remixes of pokemon soundtracks. he also loooooves those nanoblock pokemon figures you build yourself and wants to collect the entire eevee evolution line for his desk

(i have a galarian ponyta btw and i am totally accepting name suggestions for it)

the one way to piss off semi real fast is to say "and now, wonderwall!" whenever he walks into the room with his guitar

also may i introduce you to this wonderful thing called semiten

i kind of get the feeling they don't get along as first-years? first-year tendou is bffs with ushijima which means he's finally settled into being needlessly obnoxious bc ushijima is unflappable and takes tendou's bullshit with the utmost sincerity and first-year semi is hungry and aching and determined to prove himself

it is a terrible terrible combo at first

but, slowly, they settle into each other much like how dust settles into the cracks and crevices of a house long loved

and then second year happens and shirabu comes and everything falls apart again LMAAAAAAAAAOOOO

y'all know i love shirabu but like. goddamn if second-year semi wasn't full of angst and awkwardness about growing up and puberty and being cast to the side and all tendou wanted to do was reach out and grab him by the shoulders and yell in his face "YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH YOU IDIOT I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU YOU'RE ENOUGH"

anyways

yamagata wanted to get his ears pierced but he's also afraid of needles so reon had to hold his hand through it the entire time

tendou somehow has access to the dorm rooftop because of course he does and he makes the team have picnics up there for bonding time

goshiki: "shirabu-san, would you still set for me if i was a worm?" shirabu: "what makes you think i'd set for you now?"

during a joint practice match with karasuno narita praises goshiki and goshiki starts tearing up

karasuno first-year crew is genuinely so blessed to have the upperclassmen they do. like guys come on think about it they are SO spoiled with it like holy hell i feel terrible for the other miyagi first years

(that deserves its own separate post tho)

someone starts the rumor that tendou is an esper and he does absolutely nothing to deny this, but he DOES do everything to confirm it. one of his classmates will be like "haha yeah i lost my textbook i guess i'll have to get a new one" and tendou will be like "ooh you should try looking inside the music room piano after five pm ;)" and the classmate is like "wtf" bc they've never been to the music room in their life but they go do it anyways and it's THERE

(tendou may or may not have paid goshiki to swipe the textbook and plant it)

KAWANISHI my beloved i haven't forgotten him

yeah yeah kozume kenma is a master gamer BUT kawanishi taichi is on the 3713th level of candy crush which is also, coincidentally, the level that i am on right now

also i think kawanishi is def one of those ppl who has earbuds tucked in at all times bc a) he thinks it makes him look cool and b) it keeps people from talking to him

and if they do try talking to him he just whips out his phone and makes a big show of blasting the volume to the point where the other person can hear it coming from his earbuds

also you know how tendou told semi that he looks uncool in casual clothes??? that's definitely a cover-up for tendou thinking semi looks really good in them

tendou, lying face-down in his pillow on the dorm floor: " - and did you see the ripped jeans??? ripped jeans are SO stupid they shouldn't even look that good he should have been freezing his ass off but noooooo he looked like he stepped out of a goddamn MAGAZINE - " reon, texting yamagata at the same time: "you need to raid semi's closet and burn his clothes i can't do this anymore"

[kuromi-hoemie]

10 and 24?

10: About someone I think is funny: random tumblr users and kids lmao 😭 and me..

further out of my sphere i love Kennie JDs personality so much. fellow black woman rawdogging ADD

she has a YouTube channel and has a “Bad movies and a beat” playlist where she talks about bad movies while putting her makeup on. she's so gorgeous and her looks come out beautiful and her personality is a huge part of the draw 😹 she's sorta got a series within that series too called “Good movies and a glam” which is the same thing p much but she talks about movies she enjoyed.

we don't fully overlap in our interests but she talks about horror movies sometimes and i love listening to her talk and watching her reaction to things. there are definitely some videos that have me stopping like 5-10 minutes in like wait let me go watch the movie first bc this sounds like it's gonna be an Experience. i think it's very validating and fun to see how she feels about things I've seen, and even if it's stuff I'm not interested in i still think it's fun to see her do her thing :3

sometimes she does a good analysis, sometimes it's more of a summary w some thoughts and reactions here and there, and for some she's just does a straight reaction to it bc she doesn't think there's really anything to talk about. the worse the movie is the funnier she is 💀 but she's just funny period. Atlanta queen 🫶🏾

comedy is a hard one for me.. there's a lot of jokes and comedians that don't really land for me but i think it's bc I've always been surrounded by ppl i think are funnier or more outta pocket offline and online.. something something ppl who try to be funny vs ppl who just are.

24. An unusual talent I have: o: i don't know.. electrical engineering i suppose? as an end to end process w schematic design, 3d modelling and printing, soldering n circuitry etc. i think it's very rewarding to have a bespoke thing that's the only one of its kind.. technology that does exactly what u want it to do nothing more nothing less no unwanted upgrades/planned obsolescence/privacy policies/cloud bs etc. u can make technology do plenty off of ur home network alone, if u want it to be controllable/accessible from a network at all. i only call this strange in the sense that it's not common.. but in another perspective i think I'm v good at tinkering with stuff in general!! I've built and taken apart enough things in life that a lot of stuff feels very intuitive atp, more so for furniture or something more.. mechanical, than electronics but I'm good at tinkering w that too :3

not good enough to be able to tell which specific part of a complicated circuit board stopped working (unless there's obv physical damage or a disconnected cable), but i can put stuff together from scratch or bypass certain things for more desired behavior. like i built an ebike once but instead of using its pedal assistance i bypassed it and just made it full throttle. it did like 32mph lol 😭 i made that when covid first hit and i didn't want to bus anymore but i usually otherwise make stuff for taking care of my indoor gardens, when i have them (i do not rn). a simple and handy one to do is replacing a battery source with an AC adapter so u can get full power and the thing will never die on u. or at least when it does it's in the way that all electronics will eventually stop working after enough use, but nothing's died on me yet :3

also making web tools for data analysis! (or just something u can use in the browser basically but it's on ur computer not The Internet™). i don't have the time to educate myself in other fields fully but i do like looking at the data they produce and learning more about things that way!! my favorite visualizations to make are maps but I'll make utilities that i can use to strategize for my games sometimes too.

oh and i also like modding games :3 i have made my own mods for 13 games so far. playing the game is already nice but to me it's about really fine tuning the experience to be how i want it to be and making it my own. sometimes I'll start modding before even starting the game 💀 like hmm let me take a peek at what y'all got going on here, then being like eh that sounds annoying I'll just do this instead. my favorite game to mod is elden ring, their spell system has a LOT of different pieces and phases and effects of spells that u can mix and match and chain together to make ur own spells. in this way getting a new game can be like getting a new project at times, and when i don't wanna do that i just use WeMod and call it a day :3