#my old enemy…

[royaltea000]

Who let bro cook? They're making a ten course meal in a ten star restaurant 😔

The only thing cookin is me in this 100 degree heat don’t let my ego grow any bigger than this

[itssofuckingover]

do y’all ever think about how 10 wanted to Fuck That Old Man?….like. HE DEF WANTED TO FUCK THAT OLD MAN!?

[maxedes]

as mentioned sky germany has three kids reporter this weekend & they got to interview max.

a short rundown:

- he was very cute with the kids (always cute talking german & cute with kids. so we got cute squared)

- the kids were so nervous (especially about asking for a selfie) but he was so nice to them & they seemed very comfortable once they started talking

- they asked who would drive for him & what the team name would be if he had his own f1 team. he picked lando & oscar as drivers & mentioned his sim team verstappen.com as a name.

- next question was who would play him in a movie. he said he‘d rather not have the movie but maybe leonardo dicaprio

- answer to his all time favorite driver is michael schumacher

- he looked a little lost about the question what his job would be if he weren‘t in f1. he said maybe a motor go driver.

- then max vs 1 kid drew the zanvoort layout while blindfolded. max won by a mile. he couldn‘t let the kid win if he wanted to.

- he let the kids wear his helmet & told them they looked really cool

- they wanted to know what the best & worst thung was about being a driver. best is driving & worst ist media (but he said with the kids it‘s fun, he just doesn‘t like the adults hahaha)

- he privately mostly drives an audi. i didn‘t catch which one exactly but it just looked like a standard svu (?). nothing flashy just a normal road car.

- the kids debriefed the interview together & mentioned how nice he was & that they had a lot of fun.

edit: link to the drawing challenge

[zephyrchama]

Resting with Belphegor

You're laying on the couch, face up with Belphegor draped over you like a weighted blanket. His breathing is steady and slow. His arms are wrapped loosely around your shoulders. His face is snuggled into your chest. It's warm and it's comfortable and it's peaceful as you scroll your D.D.D. The house is quiet. You absentmindedly run a hand up Belphegor's back while searching for new content.

Thunk.

Oops.

Belphegor stirs with a snort, inhaling a little too fast in surprise. You scramble to pick up your fallen D.D.D. and hide it between the cushions. His forehead is already turning a light shade of red, but you know demons are hardy. He'll be fine, physically speaking.

Hands grip your shoulders. Two dark and narrow slits glare at you from inches away. They would be threatening if Belphegor didn't look so pouty, his cheeks almost puffing up with anger.

"Sorry." You try not to smile while apologizing. It's a difficult task when he looks more cute than scary. "It won't happen again."

Belphegor huffs. His chin digs into your sternum but his grip on your shoulders turns weak. "You said that the last three times. I should curse you."

"But I really didn't mean to!" you insist. "I said sorry."

"Aahh, it hurts so bad." The red dot where your phone made contact with his head is hardly even visible. "Ow, I'm so badly injured. Look what you did to me."

Belphegor's acting skills have really degraded since he came out of the attic. Or maybe he's too lazy to put actual effort into it anymore.

"You want a bandage?" There might be some in the kitchen. It wouldn't do anything, though, and he would have to get up for you to treat him. You wonder if his head alone could crack your D.D.D.

"No, but I think a kiss will make it feel better."

[kaiju-krew]

she knows whats up that one new clip

[waterghostype]

crusty kid

[radiance1]

Vlad:You know who I've always admired?

Danny: Lex Luthor?

Vlad: No, Alfred Pennysworth, he truly is as extraordinary as they- Lex Luthor???

Danny shrugs "I don't know, he just seems like the kind of guy you would admire you know."

Vlad looks at Danny with a face of the most visible disgust he's capable of pulling off in that moment. "What exactly am I supposed to be admiring? That solar panel he calls a head?"

"Pfft." Danny chokes down a laugh, before looking away and shrugging. "I don't know dude, but you can ask him yourself right now."

"What do you-"

"I see you two are having fun insulting me, it seems."

"SWEET CHEESEPUFFS-" Vlad whirls around, looking at Lex Luthor in both shock and mild confusion before replacing it with mild annoyance. Vlad crossed his arms. "Sneaking around like the rat you are, it would seem."

"You would happen to know quite a bit about rats, wouldn't you, Mr. Masters?" Lex Luthor also crossed his arms and Vlad chuckled. "Please, I may know a bit, but you certainly have me beat in that category don't you, Mr. Luthor?"

Danny, off to the side: [Sneaks off to get some punch]

[befuddled-calico-whump]

thinking about a whumpee on a forced march through rough terrain

hands tied in front of them, on foot while their captors are mounted, sleeping out in the open, forced to beg for adequate food and water

maybe they're barefoot, a captured royal in silken robes

maybe they're in a torn suit or soldier's uniform

maybe they were stripped at the start, increasing the exposure to the elements, the humiliation

are they a terrified mess from the beginning, or do they try to endure with dignity? how long before they're stumbling, barely putting one foot in front of the other? how long before they fall?

[hazbingirliexoxo]

Reader: *talking about their favorite TV show/podcast*

Vox: *smugly* Well it can’t be that popular if I’ve never heard of it

Reader: *mockingly* It’s not for old people🙄🙄

Vox: ….

[tubbytarchia]

For a rancher request, can your Tango carry Jimmy? (If not then the other way around is cool too!)

Yes he can!! Jimmy looks so terribly small no matter how I try to draw him in Tango's hold lmao please ignore it I really tried

[the-patrex]

[kyonshi-8610]

no ref hand practicey the sequel: dwarven women

[captainkirkk]

Normally I don't ship any variation of the 'divorced couple' trope EXCEPT when it comes to Charles/Erik. I don't CARE about their first meeting, falling in love, etc. I want to see them as jaded divorcees and that's IT

[lilycoris]

[gracekiins]

some of my fav tropes from a couple of tomione fics i'd read... esp. tom being two-faced looool isn't he a joy

[panoffrying]

Giant enemy spider