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dailynnt · 15 hours ago

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FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ Number of part: 19/?

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻From the author: Guys thank you for being with me and loving this story so much. I wrote part 19 and for some reason the second half of it was so hard for me. Read with pleasure and tell me how you like it, it is so valuable to me ❤️‍🔥🙏🏻

⊹ 🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and love you🥰💜 Bright times will come and you will be happy, my love 🥺💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 19. Kidnapped under the glow of fireworks.

The sound of the xylophone announced an incoming call. You dropped what you were doing in front of the mirror and almost ran to the couch where your phone was lying. The screen showed a photo of Jungkook with the caption "🐰 Jungkook". You pressed the green button.

"Hello?" - You answered.

"Baby, are you ready? I'm on my way." - You hear on the other end of the line. Jungkook was supposed to pick you up at 10 p.m. to take you to a party to celebrate the opening of a new club in Itaewon that Jimin will be running. It would also was a New Year party. So Jungkook didn't lie to your parents, and it turns out that you two were indeed invited to the opening of the nightclub.

You had to wait until Jungkook came to pick you up, because about an hour ago he told you, (alredy was dressed for a party) that he had to be away for an hour, and that you should get dressed and wait for him. He was not a minute late, and you look at your watch and realize that the hour passed quickly and you barely had time to get ready.

"I'm ready, I'm putting on my coat and coming to you." - You say affectionately. You hear his gentle "waiting" in the phone and go to the front door.

Today you are wearing a dark green satin dress with an asymmetrical hem and a neckline that reveals your thigh too high. The dress has a beautiful low neckline that emphasizes your sexuality without making you look vulgar, and thin straps that add to your fragility.

On your feet you put on exquisite gold high-heeled shoes. You put on nylon stockings instead of uncomfortable tights. The image is completed by gold jewelry and hair gathered in a beautiful bun.

The makeup is simple with an emphasis on the eyes. Long black arrows against a background of subtle golden shadows and lips of warm brown with a slight reddish tint.

You didn't dress very wintery, but this is the dress you dreamed of wearing for a similar holiday. You throw the coat over your shoulders and for some reason you hear Jungkook's voice in your head, protesting that you dressed too lightly.

You leave the house and immediately see Jungkook's Mercedes. It's cold outside, so you hurry to get into the car to stay warm. The side windows of the car are tinted, so you don't immediately see that Jungkook is on the phone. When you get inside, you give your boyfriend a smile and see that he doesn't take his eyes off you. You're flattered by this look of admiration.

"I'll be in Itaewon in 20 minutes. Are you there yet?" - You hear him talking to someone on the phone. He's probably talking to Jimin.

"Yes, I’m on place. Hoseok and Taehyung aren't here yet. By the way, Yoongi-hyun just arrived." - Jimin's voice is distorted by the cell phone. This confirms your guess.

"Yoongi-hyun? Does he go to these kinds of parties?" - Jungkook asks, still staring at you. His gaze runs over your face, down to your figure, and finally stops at your gold shoes.

"Usually not, but he did me the honor of not refusing the invitation. Now he's in the VIP lounge, where all of us will be celebrating. Have you picked up the Y/N yet?" - Jimin asks.

"Yes. We're on our way." - Jungkook replies, although you are still standing outside your house. You raise your eyebrows in surprise as Jungkook approaches you, ready to kiss you.

"I'm waiting, buddy." - Jimin says and hangs up the phone. Jungkook immediately touches your lips, just pressing his lips to yours. Although you were about to fight back, stopping him with your hands. Your kiss lasted for a few seconds and Jungkook pulled away.

"Baby, you are divine. Are you making me feel nervous again? I'm going to be jealous of every glimpse who lines on you." - He says seriously. You smile broadly, stretching your lips and drawing Jungkook's attention to them again.

"You know I don't need anyone but you. Then you shouldn't worry about anyone. They don't stand a chance against you." - You say using a flirtatious voice. Jungkook smiles, pleased with your words, which calm his jealousy.

"I want to wipe off your lipstick, can you put on lipstick again after?" - Jungkook asks, intending to capture your lips. You stop him in time, putting your hands on your chest.

"No. If you wipe off my lipstick now, it will ruin my makeup. Let's do it a little later. Let me wear my makeup for at least the first hour." - You ask. Jungkook doesn't listen. He overpowers your arms and connects your lips. This kiss lasts also not long, no more than a second.

"Your lips are so luscious with this lipstick. You only have an hour, and then I'll definitely wipe it off." - Jungkook sits up straight, leaving you in peace, but for not a long moment at this night, and then he starts to drive off, pressing the gas pedal.

You're almost at the entrance to Itaewon. You check your friends' New Year's greeting texts and suddenly an unfamiliar number pops up. In the push notification, you can see the beginning of a phrase:

"Candy, take care. There will be a lot of people connected to the mafia at the party..."

Then the text message breaks off and you either have to go read it or click on the message for a long time to see it in full. You immediately erase it from push notifications so that Jungkook doesn't see it by accident. Doohoon knows where you'll be. He hasn't stopped following you, justifying it as "caring". However, it looks like stalking, without exaggeration.

You wanted to tell Jungkook right away when you met Doohoon in the parking lot of your building a couple of days ago. But that night, Jungkook came home late and was in a bad mood. He was tired and irritated. You knew it had something to do with the meeting with Namjoon. You didn't ask for details, but Jungkook just said that everything was fine and you shouldn't worry about anything.

You thought that if Jungkook wanted to, he would tell you everything himself. If you had told Jungkook that day about Doohoon, he would have been angry and no one knows what he would have done. Of course you'll tell Jungkook, but after the new year. You didn't want to spoil the already barely noticeable holiday mood.

You arrive in one of the most upscale neighborhoods in Itaewon, where the new Jimin’s nightclub is located on a wide street lit up with neon signs and colorful garlands. The huge doors of the club, decorated with the elegant ‘MUSE’ logo with delicate black marble details, led to a real gem of the city's nightlife. At the entrance, you noticed guests in luxurious outfits.

Jungkook helped you out of the Mercedes and you headed for the entrance. Jungkook, dressed in a black fitted suit with a silk shirt and no tie, exuded confidence and low-key charisma.

When you entered the club, you were greeted by a luxurious hall with high ceilings, crystal chandeliers, and modern design. In the center was a large illuminated dance floor, and around the perimeter were VIP areas, fenced off from the main hall by translucent curtains. The bar shone with golden details, and the aroma of exotic cocktails was in the air. The music, chosen by Jimin himself, was loud and rhythmic, setting the tone for the party.

You were a little nervous, because the party definitely brought together many influential guests - obviously familiar with the mafia world, who exchanged glances and gestures, understanding each other without words. In the crowd, one could see wealthy businessmen and women dressed in designer dresses that shone like diamonds.

Jimin appeared to greet you. His image was spectacular: an exquisite suit with bright accents that emphasized his confidence. When he saw you, he immediately opened his arms to you. You, in turn, surprisingly forgot who Jimin really was and hugged him like a good friend who was nice and caring to you.

"I am glad to see you. Take off your clothes and go to VIP area number one." - Jimin said.

Jungkook led you to the cloakroom, which was off to the side of the main hall. He helped you take off your coat and took your clothes to a woman who was sitting there to receive your clothes. Jungkook was only wearing a suit and it looked like his coat was left in the car.

You didn't notice the appraising gaze of your boyfriend, who was looking at you, studying your image. You took a few steps away, nervously fiddling with your green handbag. You smoothed down your dress with your hand and straightened your curls. The warmth of Jungkook's body, which was pressed against your back, almost made you screaming. His large tattooed hand rested on your stomach, and his lips touched your ear.

"Baby, is it legal to be this sexy at a New Year's party?" - You hear the vibration of Jungkook's voice.

"What are you doing, people can see us!" - You protested quietly, trying to move away.

"I'm not sure that in an hour you'll just be without lipstick. I would do other things to you." - He whispers in your ear. A wave of warmth runs through your body. He's not should’ve to seduce you right before the party starts. You need to calm his heat. It's only been two days without sex, and he's so impatient.

"You should wait until we get home. That'll give you an excuse not to be so long, right?" - You suggest. Jungkook purrs in your ear in affirmation. He gives you a quick kiss on the shoulder and finally lets go.

VIP area #1 at Jimin’s Club was a true embodiment of luxury and elegance. You tensed up feeling the pathos of this place, just like you did at Niseko's during the Christmas party.

Located on an elevation with a panoramic view of the dance floor, it was isolated from the main hall by a tinted glass partition, creating an atmosphere of privacy. Inside, there were soft semicircular sofas made of emerald velvet, which surrounded small tables made of black marble with gold inlays. An elegant crystal chandelier hung above the area, illuminated by neon, adding soft, cozy light to the space.

Tall ficuses in stylish black vases stood in the corners of the room, and there were interactive LED panels on the walls that showed exciting abstract patterns, changing colors depending on the rhythm of the music. Each table was equipped with a button to call a personal waiter, and special soundproofing allowed people to talk quietly without shouting over the music.

There were many people in the hall who were obviously important guests of Jimin. It seems that they were not only "businessmen" or influential people, but also idols and actors, most likely to attract more attention to the new place.

You saw Jin, Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jimin in the hall, talking about something cheerfully and animatedly. Jungkook put his arm around your waist and you felt calm, feeling him so close.

Walking in the direction of these people, you unconsciously repeated everything you knew about them. You saw these people in a new way now and had to behave naturally. They are all close to Namjoon. They are some of the most powerful people in the Korean underworld. Why are you among them?

You look at Jungkook and see that he is calm. Does he trust these people so much that he's not afraid to bring you here? You reassure yourself that no matter what happens to you, Jungkook is there to protect you.

"How did you get here faster than us?" - Jungkook asks with a smile on his lips. You also pull your lips into a smile and greet the guys. "I thought because of the traffic in Gangnam, you guys would arrive at the chimes." - Jin, Hoseok, and Taehyung greet you warmly and they take turns hugging you. You are a little confused. Taehyung is the only one you know well, so his hug is the only one that feels good.

"You look amazing." - He says, emphasizing this with a slight nod. You shyly touched your ear in thanks. Jungkook gave Taehyung a murderous look and Taehyung laugh, annoying his friend.

You all went to a table with several people. Among them, a short man caught your attention the most. He was reserved and looked bored, almost apathetic. When everyone approached the table, they took turns greeting the man. Jungkook shook the man's hand and bowed slightly. The man, as if he were his older brother, clapped him on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

When your eyes met, you unconsciously took half a step back. His calm and cold look gave you the feeling that he could see right through everyone standing in front of him. His sharp features were impenetrable, but his eyes hid something dark and almost dangerous.

You felt insecure, as if you were under a microscope. Your intuition told you that you were looking at a person who could read others as easily as they read a book. You looked down away from him for a long moment to hide your nervousness, but you felt your shoulders tense under an invisible pressure.

Jimin smiled and gestured to you, introducing you when Jungkook finally stepped away from the elder Hyun. It was none other than Min Yoongi. And you knew it before Jimin even said his name.

"Yoongi-hyun, this is Y/N. She's a good friend of ours, and Jungkook's best friend. She's his couple for tonight." - Jimin introduced you. His eyes are curious, but no emotion is reflected on his face.

"Nice to meet you." - He said dryly but politely, nodding.

"Likewise." - You say with a slight smile on your lips to hide your tension.

Yoongi looked at Jungkook, who was standing next to you, and a faint smile flashed across his eyes. He seemed to appreciate you as something valuable that mattered to Jungkook.

"Interesting," - He suddenly said. No one reacted to this because you were the only one who heard it. He went back to talking to one of the other guests, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin went to the next table. Hoseok, who was supposed to be at your table, said that you'd join him in a few minutes.

The party at the club was a real extravaganza. Itaewon, known for its nightlife, was witnessing something special this time: Jimin's new establishment became an epicenter of luxury intertwined with something modern and youthful. Music vibrated through the walls. There were so many guests that every area of the club, even the VIP rooms, were overcrowded. But at the same time, everything remained surprisingly organized.

By midnight, Jimin stepped onto a small elevated podium near the main dance floor. He held a glass of champagne in his hand, and his smile shone like a reflection of bright New Year's fireworks.

"I'm glad you're all here tonight!" - He began, his voice clear and full of emotion. "We are finally in Itevon. This club is my personal creation, so please give it a lot of love. Let's celebrate this year together and make it unforgettable!" - The audience burst into applause, and Jimin raised his glass. "To the new year and a new beginning!".

At midnight, everyone was simultaneously counting down the last seconds to the New Year. 10... 9... 8... You squeezed Jungkook's hand, smiling and trying not to think about how magical this moment was. 3... 2... 1... The guests shouted "Happy New Year!" and confetti sprayed in the air, and glasses filled with sparkling champagne.

It was already past one in the morning. You drank the champagne without even realizing how strong it was. The drink had a delicate fruity aroma and a smooth taste that hid its power. Four glasses later, and in the hot atmosphere around you, your cheeks turned pink and your eyes shone.

You chatted with Taehyung and Hoseok, who seemed to be on a mission to entertain you. You talked a lot and you laughed almost constantly. They did whatever made you feel good.

After a while, you realized that Jungkook was not participating in the conversation. You smiled as you noticed him quietly drinking whiskey, sitting next to you on the couch, silently watching the crowd.

"You're too serious for a New Year's party." - You whisper playfully, leaning into Jungkook's ear. The surprisingly strong champagne allowed you to finally relax and forget about the people around you. Jungkook smiled at your tone.

"The most important, that you have fun, my baby." - Jungkook whispered in your ear.

"You should have fun too." - You said without leaning into Jungkook. You suddenly jumped up and held out your hand to him. "Let's go to the main dance floor, I want to dance." - You said a little loudly. He looked at your hand and then grabbed it, standing up. At that moment, Jimin came to your table.

"Where are you going?" - He asked, smiling slyly. You didn't catch this gesture, unlike Jungkook, who looked at his friend sideways.

"We're going dancing." - You said, pulling Jungkook's hand. Jimin winked at Jungkook. He winked back, to his friend's surprise. Jimin raised his eyebrows in surprise as he sat down next to Taehyung.

"They're going to fuck tonight. Telling you." - Jimin said to Hoseok and Taehyung, who were watching you and Jungkook.

"They've been doing it for a while." - Taehyung says, finishing his whiskey. Jimin turns an incredulous look to Taehyung.

"What do you mean? Did he tell you?" - Jimin asks. Does Jungkook tell Taehyung first, but didn’t tell Jimin anything?

"No, he didn't. But I don't need his confirmation. They live together, they provably fuck. Don't you see the way he looks at her?" - Taehyung asks as if it were obvious. Jimin nods.

"You know they live together?" - Jimin wonders how Taehyung knows.

"I saw their text messages by accident before I we visited Niseko. She was asking him to buy some groceries or something. He didn't notice that I was there. And also she blurted it out when we were sitting in a restaurant." - Taehyung answered. Jimin nodded, savoring the whiskey, but his mind was far away.

He wondered why Jungkook was hiding the relationship from all of them. It's obvious that you're together. Doesn't he trust them? Especially him? Jimin had always been used to Jungkook sharing everything with him. He knew about all his girlfriends, every relationship, from the moment they met. They had grown to be close friends.

But you... you're the one Jungkook is so desperately protective of, not admitting to your relationship, that it can only mean one thing. You are special to him. Now Jimin knew exactly who Jungkook's real Achilles' heel was.

On the way to the dance floor, you asked Jungkook to hide your phone so that it wouldn't get in the way of your hands. He kindly agreed, putting it in one of his pockets.

There was energetic electronic music playing on the dance floor, and the crowd seemed to be in complete ecstasy. You were moving to the beat of the music, forgetting everything around you. Your movements were light, graceful, but at the same time relaxed, thanks to the champagne that gave you courage.

Jungkook stood next to you, watching you at first, but then, succumbing to the atmosphere, he allowed himself to relax. He took you by the waist and pulled you closer so that your dance was synchronized. You felt the warmth of his body through the satin dress. His hands were on your hips, on your back, on your arms. You easily lost yourselves among the people so that no one could see how close you were to each other.

You turned your back on Jungkook and started rubbing against his crotch, feeling a wave of excitement from your closeness. You wanted to seduce your boyfriend. You wanted to get him hot so that he could fuck you good at home.

Moving your ass against his crotch, you felt his hardness after a while. Jungkook's hands were holding your waist, but suddenly his hand slid down to your throat. He gently, very gently pulled your body as close to him as possible. His lips touched your ear.

"Do you want me to walk around with a hard-on for the rest of the evening? Or do you have other plans?" - He asked. The huskiness of his voice makes you feel a current running through your body. You laugh.

"I'm just dancing next to you." - You say in your defense. Jungkook moves his hand down to your bare thigh, and your skin literally burns in that spot.

"That sweet ass makes my cock hard in seconds. You know that. And don't say you weren't going to seduce me." - He says in your ear. His breath is scorching. Your cheeks burn as much as your desire for Jungkook to fuck you now.

"Looks like I've been found out." - You say, turning to face him. You're as close as you can get. Jungkook smiles stiffly. "We're going home soon anyway. How about we spend this time enjoying ourselves?" - You ask, quickly pressing your lips to Jungkook's.

His grip on your hips tightens. You move in time to the music, and Jungkook's cock thrusts against your buttocks. He seems very excited.

"I can't wait, when we to go home. So we're going to the toilet." - This is the last thing you hear against your cheek. Without waiting for you to answer, Jungkook grabs your hand and you walk through the crowd.

You find yourself in a restroom. It seems to belong to the VIP zone, because it is quiet and there is no one here. There are three large stalls. Jungkook leads you to the farthest one and locks the door.

He pounces on your lips, so fast that you don't have time to recover. Jungkook presses you against the wall of the toilet, so you can feel the contrast. The cold wall cools your hot body, and Jungkook turns up the heat with his hands all over your body and tongue kisses that make you soaked.

Jungkook moves to your neck when your lungs need oxygen. He leaves wet marks on your neck and jaw and you get even more excited. His hand slides between your legs, into the perfect slit at your thigh. He pulls the thong aside and touches your folds. Jungkook pulls away from your neck and breathes heavily on your lips, and you open your mouth in pleasure, feeling his fingers rubbing the moisture and caressing your erect clit.

"You're so wet for me, baby." - He says against your lips. You bite down on them to hold back your moans. His hot, whiskey-scented breath is intoxicating. He plunges two fingers into your hole and pumps. It's hard for you to breathe. You want to release your feelings through a loud moan, but you hold yourself back as best you can.

You want to feel Jungkook inside you, because stretching with your fingers isn't enough for you. Without warning, Jungkook takes his fingers out of you. He raises his hand to your face and runs your own arousal down your nose, along the curve of your cheek, then presses his middle and ring fingers against the pad of your lips.

Your lips open unconsciously, and he slides his fingers inside, making you swallow your own arousal. He bursts in with a force and control that drives you crazy. He presses down on your tongue, then wraps his fingers around it, rolling and smearing your arousal.

"I have to eat you, because you're just flowing." - Jungkook says and is already on his knees.

He moves your skirt, lifts it up slightly, and you grab it to help him hold it up. Jungkook pulls your thong off, and it falls around your ankles, catching on the clasp of your heels on one side.

Jungkook throws your leg over his shoulder, freeing your legs from the underwear so he can have perfect access to your juicy pussy. You grab his hair as you feel his wet tongue on your clit.

"Fuck." - You exhale, enjoying the movements of Jungkook's skillful tongue. He licks your folds from the bottom to the top, right down to your slit, making you shudder. As you tremble, Jungkook flicks his tongue over your clit. One. Two. Then he sucks on it and plays with it. You literally lose your head over Jungkook's oral sex skills.

You'll feel Jungkook plunging his fingers into you again. He eats you and stretches you at the same time to have a good way to stretch you with his big cock after you cum on his tongue.

Still pushing his fingers inside you, Jungkook pulls away from your sensitive bud and starts to bite the skin around it, then he swipes his tongue.

Your hips jerk, your sighs and moans mix and echo in the air, and you think you should be quiet, but you absolutely can't. Jungkook has never eaten your pussy so passionately and with such a taste.

He's picking up the pace. When he senses that you're about to come, he sucks in and you can feel your clit trembling on his tongue. He releases it and flicks his tongue several times, prolonging your orgasm as much as possible. You moan out loud. Because fuck, it's amazing.

You look down and meet Jungkook's smile. His lips and chin are glistening with your juice. He stands up, wiping his face at the same time, and gets too close. Jungkook immediately captures your lips in a passionate kiss, giving you a second taste of himself, only this time on his tongue.

You are falling apart from the passion between you. It's so dirty and sexy that you want to be fucked by your boyfriend like the last whore.

"Fuck me." - You ask when your lips are barely parted.

"You're so needy for me, you want me to fuck you now. What about waiting until we get home?" - Jungkook teased you. He was already unbuckling his leather belt and you were eagerly helping him. You didn't listen to what he was saying because you knew he was going to fuck you. When his pants fell down, you heard a thud. It was your phone in his pocket.

"You dropped my phone!" - You complain, pulling down his boxers.

"Fuck it. I'll buy you two hundred of these." - Jungkook says defiantly. You throw a mischievous smile.

"I don't need two hundred. One is enough for me, if you break the screen you'll buy me a new one." - You say, grabbing Jungkook by the length of his arm. He closes his eyes blissfully as you slowly pump him up. You smear his pre-cum, caressing the tip. You completely grasp his glans with your hand and move your hand back and forth to increase his arousal. In between pumping his length, you caress his balls a few times, which makes Jungkook ecstatic as he let out a low moan and that makes you stronger. When Jungkook thinks you've aroused him enough, he stops your hand.

"Take off your dress so we don't get it dirty." - Jungkook asks in a heavy voice. You let go of his erect cock and lick your thumb, which you had been using to caress Jungkook's cock.

Jungkook's eyes darken and a cocky smile graces his face. You take off your dress and throw it on the toilet, which was closed. You notice a large mirror behind Jungkook's back. You see his bare buttocks. He's gotten rid of his pants and boxers, throwing them elsewhere. He has opened the silk shirt he was wearing so that it doesn't hinder his movements.

When you are naked, Jungkook wastes no time in taking you into his arms. He gives both of your breasts proper attention, caressing and kissing them. Luckily for you, there are no bruises after the last time in the car, and those painful kisses-punishments.

Jungkook rests his hard cock against your pussy and you wonder when he's going to get down to the real business. As if he heard your thoughts, he leaves your breasts and grabs your thigh. He lifts and moves your leg so that he can enter you in a standing position. You feel his cock pressing against your entrance and you bite your lip. Because he's doing it slowly, carefully, with little pressure.

You sigh loudly when his cock is completely inside you. Jungkook suddenly puts his hands on your buttocks.

"Come on, my love, lift." - He urges you and pushes you up so that you are pressed with your hot body against the cold wall of the toilet, pouring your feet over his buttocks. Jungkook presses you tighter against the wall, and you wrap your arms around his neck, trying to hold on as well.

Jungkook makes the first thrust and you hold your breath. He moves his hips to adjust to the most comfortable position. Once he finds the perfect position for both of you, he pushes his cock inside and it feels so incredibly good that you roll your eyes. So blissful, so deep, so tight.

You hear Jungkook moaning lightly into your neck. You open your eyes and see yourself in the mirror. Jungkook's strong figure, with bare buttocks and your legs wrapped around his waist. He is driving himself into you as far as he can, and this new position gives you perfect pleasure.

You can't hold back your moans from his intense movements. His cock is rubbing against your walls very well.

"Shhh.... Baby. You have to be a little quieter. We might be heard." - Jungkook asks you. But you don't understand how you can be quieter here. He's giving you so much pleasure that only these loud moans keep you from going crazy. His cock is so deep in your passage, perfectly hitting your G-spot in this position.

But he's right, you can't be heard. So you try to keep your voice down. Jungkook continues to fuck you, and you realize that you don't have much longer. You can already feel the orgasm building in your middle.

"Kook..." - You call out to him, making him look down at your beautiful face. He smiles and kisses your lips.

"Do you want to come, baby?" - He asks, guessing why you called him. You whimper, and hold back, enjoying his cock, which slams deep into you with every thrust.

"Yes. I want to..." - You say.

"Take your time. Take it easy. Relax. I want to fuck you longer." - Jungkook says. His voice sounds like it's the only way you can come. You breathe hard and close your eyes. You need to relax. But you can't hold it in for long. How long does he want to fuck you? And how can he do that? Is it all the alcohol in his blood that has given him stamina?

Jungkook stops his movements. He breathes fast and you open your eyes. Jungkook kisses you, plunging his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues weave in a perfect pair and taste each other. You can taste the whiskey every time he plunges his tongue into your mouth.

While he kisses you, you can feel his fingers on your clit. You are getting too much stimulation. You want to come already. You're also a little tired of being in this position.

"Kook, please." - You beg, pulling away from his lips. "I want to come." - Jungkook hears your request and slams his hips into you without warning. He makes several deep thrusts and you forget how to breathe.

"I said I want to fuck you longer." - He says roughly.

"I can't take it..." - You say in despair and pleasure at the same time.

"Hold out for me, baby. You can do it, I know you can..." - Jungkook says somewhere in your neck. You don't understand why he won't let you come. He picks up the pace again and is pushes his cock in your poor pussy. You realize that a few more thrusts and you'll just come. But you try to relax. "You're taking me so well, my good girl. Should I let you come at last?" - Jungkook asks you defiantly. You whimper and moan.

"Please... let me..." - You beg as hard as you can. You press your nails into his back and into his back to ease the sensations of stimulation. You feel Jungkook's lips on your cheek.

"Then come for me, love." - You hear his voice. He accelerates his movements to the maximum so that you can feel the longed-for orgasm that you've been holding back on the edge until the last moment. With a sharp thrust, he brings you to the end, and you come around his cock with a long moan. Jungkook goes a little crazy from this sound and keeps fucking you to reach his orgasm.

He will feel his balls squeeze, his cock hardens as much as possible and he spills his hot cum inside you. Your head is spinning, and your ears are ringing from all the feelings that have captured you at the same time.

Jungkook stops after the last thrust and you feel him soften. You're both breathing heavily. You don't know how much time passes before he pulls out of you, lowering you to the ground.

"Fuck, Jungkook." - You say. "Why didn't you let me come?" - You wonder why he did that.

"So you could have a first-class orgasm, my love." - He replies as he takes your chin with his fingers and kisses your lips gently. Your gut flutters from his "my love" and his gentle kiss. He hasn't called you that until today. Does his "my love" mean what you think it means, or is it just a pet name for him? You really did have the best orgasm you've ever had. Was it because you held it back?

"Go pee and get dressed. They're probably looking for us by now." - Jungkook says as he lets go of you and walks toward his clothes. You find a thong and put it on.

Jungkook is waiting for you behind the stall. You get dressed and fix the dress. You go to the mirror and see that you don't look fresh. You take out a paper napkin and dab at your makeup.

You leave the booth, completely satisfied with the incredible sex you had with Jungkook. You notice him standing by the window. His head is down. You come closer to him and to your surprise you notice a phone in his hands. It's your phone.

Jungkook turns to you with an absolutely furious look on his face. Your insides tremble. Your heart speeds up, and you realize that he read the text messages from Doohoon that you didn't delete. You're so stupid. You should have erased them right away. Block this number.

He pokes the phone at you. You see the text message and the last digits of Doohoon's number from the bottom to the top.

"What is it?" - He says, and you hear his voice tremble with anger.

"It's a text message." - You say calmly. You want to pick up the phone, but Jungkook jerks his hand away and won't let you take it.

"Candy, don't tell him we saw each other. He threatened to kill me."- Jungkook reads aloud one of the texts written by Doohoon. Maybe it was because of that text message that you didn't tell Jungkook that day that you saw him. You wanted to tell him, but because he was in a bad mood, you didn't say anything. You remember the angry image of Jungkook at the Christmas party. And you think you didn't keep quiet for Doohoon’s sake, but for Jungkook's.

"Jungkook, honey, I'll explain everything to you now." - You say gently. You want to take his hand, but he takes a step away from you. You freeze, puzzled.

"When the fuck did you see each other?" - He says surprisingly calmly, but you know he's furious inside.

"A few days ago. When you went to Namjoon. He met me in the parking lot of our building." - You admit it. You hear Jungkook start to breathe heavily. He looks at your phone again and reads the text messages from Doohoon.

12.29/08.12 P.M. | 010-***-***-14: You know that I am for you. I'll be there to save you

12.29/08.14 PM | 010-***-***-14: Sweetie, don't tell him we saw each other. He threatened to kill me. I don't know if you know, but he beat me up for telling you the truth about him.

12.29/08.15 P.M. | 010-***-***-14: No matter what you tell me, you seem so lost today. Maybe it's a sign that you've made the wrong choice.

12.29/08.25 PM | 010-***-***-14: I can see you hesitating. I don't need to force you to realize which of us is more reliable.

12.29/08.33 PM | 010-***-***-14: I can see you hesitating. I don't want to force to realize who you need more trustworthy.

12.30/01.26 PM | 010-***-***-14: I'm not giving up, candy. I know I can convince you. Time is on my side.

12.31/10.14 PM | 010-***-***-14: Candy, take care of yourself. There are going to be a lot of people at the party who are connected to the mafia. This is not the world you need to be in. Try to avoid talking to people you don't know, and don't believe the empty smiles. They are here for a reason.

12.31/10.15 PM | 010-***-***-14: If something goes wrong, know that I am always there for you, even if you can't see it.

01.01/01.26 A.M. | 010-***-***-14: Happy New Year, Candy. How are you feeling? Are you okay?

"What the fuck is this Y/N shit?" - Jungkook yells as he clutch your phone. You flinched at the sudden scream. You let him read it because you didn't see any point in hiding anything anymore. You really don't understand why you didn't erase those texts.

"Kook, I really did see him. But I was going to tell you everything. I just didn't want to worry you. You weren't yourself that day. I didn't want you to do anything terrible." - You explained with despair in your voice.

"He's stalking you again and you're not saying anything?" - Jungkook asks, trembling with anger. He clutches your phone so tightly in his hand that you think he's going to smash it.

"No, I wanted to tell you everything..." - You start.

"You wanted?" - Jungkook raises his voice. "But you didn't! You knew it was important, you knew who he was to me and you , and you still kept it from me! Why?" - He shouts. You feel your palms sweat. You are a fool. A fool for letting this situation happen.

You are silent, trying to find the words. You open your mouth a few times to explain, but you fall silent because all the words in your head sound absurd.

"Do you like his attention?" - Jungkook suddenly asks. You freeze in horror. No. Of course not. You don't like his attention, how could Jungkook even think that?

"Are you crazy?" - You ask a rhetorical question. You sound angry. "What attention? I didn't say anything because I didn't know how you would react." - You say. Your breathing has also quickened. You are nervous, feeling nauseous.

"How am I going to react? How do you expect me to react when your phone is flooded with messages from him, and you didn't even think to warn me? He calls you so sweetly, and you just let it happen?" - Jungkook says unpleasant things to you that make you feel dirty.

"I told him to call me that many times. He gave me that nickname back in school, and you know!" - You say. "He texts me, if you can see, but I don't answer."

"Just texts? He knows you'll be at the party and he warns you about the mafia like it's his business! Are you starting to trust him?" - Once again, Jungkook takes you by surprise. You literally boil over from the nonsense your boyfriend is saying.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even hear what you're saying? How can I trust him when I know what that shit did to you? I left those texts to show you when you needed me to. I could have easily deleted them and you wouldn't have known anything!" - You screamed. You fell silent and you looked at each other with rage. Your eyes almost physically radiated lightning.

But suddenly it dawned on you. You have a password on your phone and Jungkook doesn't know it. How did he get into your phone?

"How do you know my password?" - You ask him. Your voice heard like terror. Did he hack your phone? You've got a new one, because your phone is new, too.

"I knew it." - Jungkook admits.

"How do you know, I’m ask?" - You raise your voice, irritated.

"It doesn't matter." - Jungkook waves it off. You run up to him and grab his shirt.

"It is important. Did you hack my phone? Are you spying on me too?" - You ask. Your voice doesn't sound like you. It trembles and almost breaks. Jungkook looked at your hand and took it. He squeezed it hard because you started to struggle. "Answer me!" - You shouted loudly, starting to hit Jungkook. You were worried that he knew about all your affairs, that you were digging up information on his clan, and because of that your sunbae might be in danger.

He grabbed your arms and broke them behind your back. You heard him press you against the wall, trapping you between his body and the wall. For another 10 minutes he held you down in the same way. But now you are in a completely different situation.

"Calm down Y/N!" - Jungkook yelled at you. You stopped struggling in his arms and breathed quickly and deeply. The warmth of his body was somehow not pleasant now.

"You're watching for me too." - You said, holding back your tears. "What makes you better than him? I'm your fucking girlfriend, why do you need to get into my phone?"

"Just for moments like this." - Jungkook replies roughly, still holding you against the wall. "I need to know everything about you because Doohoon wants to hurt you. I thought you trusted me." - You laugh hysterically.

"I do trust you. I trusted you more than anyone in my life. But you've been undermining my trust in you all along. You're the one who hides the truth. I’m yet been silent only for several days, I was PLANNING to tell you everything. I don't know what you can do with him. Beat him again or even kill him!" - You screamed. When you stopped talking, you only then realized what you had said. Jungkook froze, his eyes darting between yours.

"So you believe him. You believe I kill people?" - Jungkook asks, and you can hear the hurt in his voice.

"I don't fucking know what to believe anymore. You're a fucking gangster, how do I know if you kill people or not? I don't know what you do when you're not home all day." - You sound angry.

"I told you I didn't kill people." - Jungkook says calmly.

"How do I know for sure?" - You ask, irritated.

Jungkook steps away from you, and you feel everything inside you tighten. His calm gaze, while not indifferent, was cold and distant. You stand there, breathing heavily, feeling your emotions rising violently inside.

"If you're not sure about me, then why are you here?" - Jungkook asks in a cold voice.

"It's obvious, you idiot, that I love you." - You say and leave the restroom. You run out to the main dance floor and go to the wardrobe. You take your coat and go outside. You cry and just go wherever your eyes lead.

You walk across a wide street crowded with people and cars. Your heart is heavy with tears that never stop rolling down your face. Itaewon is filled with a festive atmosphere - people are celebrating, laughing, hugging, but for you, this whole world seems alien and empty. The light of neon signs, bright fireworks, the sound of music from clubs and shops - all of this merges into a fog, as if you've entered a completely different reality.

The fight with Jungkook was so ridiculous. You feel your heart shrink from this inner pain. It's like you're plunging into a whirlpool of memories, where things were simpler, when you and Jungkook had more trust, and your relationship seemed more natural. But now, as you scroll through all the words you said to each other during the last fight, you wonder.

You wonder if it's worth staying together if he's no longer the person you knew and felt safe with. You feel a kind of disappointment that penetrates your soul, as if someone is slowly throwing away all the positive emotions you felt when you were with him. Jungkook seems to have become different - colder, less open. And although you are still close in bed, in everyday life, things are getting more complicated. You lack understanding, you lack his openness to you.

You think that things might have been different if Jungkook had been the man you remembered, the man who was ready to open up, the man you could trust without question. But now he's become distant, and it hurts you more than you're willing to admit.

Your heart is struggling between the desire to leave everything as it is and the need to let him go. You don't want to be part of a relationship that is constantly burdensome, where even the smallest conversation turns into a conflict.

Sometimes it seems like you just don't know how to be together. You feel that even if you stay together, it won't be what you both want. You wonder if there's even a chance for things to go back to the way they were, or if the connection is irreparably broken.

You know that your New Year's is now ruined, and you're walking alone in the middle of the street. You want to call a taxi, but you realize that you left your phone somewhere near Jungkook.

Before you knew it, you reached the end of the street and stopped on the sidewalk of the Yongsan Bridge, which led to the center of Seoul. You leaned on the pylons and admired the New Year's fireworks over the Han River.

Suddenly, you started crying again, hard and desperately. No matter how much you thought about your relationship, trying to piece it together, the only thing you knew for sure was that you were completely and irrevocably in love with Jungkook.

You can't imagine your life without him. These thoughts just tear you in half. Your heart says I love him, stay, but your mind says run away, he's not your match.

While thinking about Jungkook, you suddenly hear a car stop behind you. You don't pay attention, you're too focused on your feelings. You're standing on a bridge with hundreds of cars passing over it, so you don't realize what's happening behind you.

Only when a strong arm grabs you do you want to turn around, but it's too late. Hands grab your mouth, and before you can even scream, you are being roughly pushed into a car.

You try to break free, but your hands are clamping down, and you don't have enough strength. Every move you make, every attempt to call for help, is drowned out by the cold voices of those holding you. You feel yourself being pushed into the car, and the doors are slammed shut.

"Don't struggle, bitch!" - You hear one of the voices say, sounding like a low grunt. One of the kidnappers ties your hands with a strong rope. They put a black bag over your head and you try to breathe slowly so that the air will last for a long time. Your mouth is gagged.

You try to keep your fear under control, but your heart is pounding and your hands are covered in cold sweat.

The car is speeding through the night city, and you don't know where you're going. You think about Jungkook and pray to God that he will somehow find you. You're scared and you don't know what to expect from these people. But suddenly, in the midst of this silent terror that holds you in a vice-like grip, you hear a part of the conversation that makes you shudder.

"We followed her from the club. He didn't follow. It fucking lucky Jungkook doesn't know where she is and it worked..." - One of the men says and it sounds like he's on the phone. He is silent for a while and then speaks further. "We'll bring her soon. Just 15 minutes." - The kidnapper goes silent, and you feel your blood run cold. The car drives smoothly on the asphalt and you try to listen for any sounds. Feel the road under your wheels. You are tied up and the car is quiet.

The kidnapper don't talk to each other when you feel the car leave the asphalt and drive down some dirt road. You don't know how many minutes pass before the car stops. You hear the sound of your own heart. The door of the car interior opens.

A man takes you in his arms and carries you. You don't resist, you just see the grass and soil that comes into your view. You are taken to some garage or warehouse and put on a chair, tied to it. In a moment, the bag comes off your head and you see four men in front of you. The one holding the black sack in his hand steps aside to make way for his boss, obviously.

This man looks at you.

"Holy shit, look who Jungkook is fucking. Such a hottie!" - A laugh ripples through the room. You try to look at the man's face, but the light hitting your face makes it impossible.

"She's just a tidbit. That bastard should have kept a better eye on her." - Another man says.

"It's definitely Yonte. But God forbid anyone lays a finger on her. I'll personally cut her milky skin to get back at Jungkook. It seems he forgotten about me. He's found a whore for himself, so safely from his side. Not even realizing that this was the moment I was waiting for. I can't wait to see his eyes when she bleeds out." - He laugh crazily and his laugh all around and your heart sinks.

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#jungkook x reader #bts #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x f!reader #jungkook smut #jungkook friends with benefits #bts mafia au #bts fanfction

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heesdreamer · 4 months ago

Text

HALF RETURN

PAIRING ➩ jay x reader

SUMMARY ➩ your small towns yearly fall festival was your biggest pride and joy but getting your friends to help volunteer was nearly impossible. luckily one of them was stupid enough and too secretly inlove with you to help himself from offering.

WC ➩ 15.6k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Surprise! It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and wrote something that I actually enjoyed but this was a lot of fun to write and hopefully the start of me coming back on here in the future. It’s not my most exciting or hot and heavy piece of work but if you’re looking for a light fluffy small town read then I really hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. Happy fall everybody and thanks for your patience and support as always. NOT AT ALL PROOFREAD

The cold bite of fall had always been your favorite time of year, finding it easiest to romanticize both its pros and its cons.

Which was something you did with just about everything and everyone you ever encountered, making them larger than life as a character in your story before they were leaving and their starring chapter was turning the page with them.

So it was your favorite time of year for many reasons, the realistic ones like the fact it was the slowest months of work and you got more paid time off than you probably deserved, but also because it was so terribly romantic in all the sniffly nose and itchy sweater goodness that came along with it.

That’s why it was no surprise to the people around you that you were constantly surrounding yourself with fall activities and hobbies. Your small town didn’t offer much, mainly known for biking through the winding roads of the mountains and the sleek dark concrete that always seemed to be wet because of the constant rainfall. It did, however, have a yearly fall festival that you had been volunteering at since you were in middle school.

You’d always heard people growing up who talked about wanting to get out of your hometown, dreamily describing big cities they’d seen on vacations and how much different the world was past the mountains and trees.

You never felt the longing to escape something this beautiful and rare and while you figured the world outside was as amazing as they described, you preferred where you had grown up. It was quiet and easy to memorize, everybody knew everybody and treated each other like family so nobody stole from others or treated them poorly. It was easy to love and, in your mind, easy to stay in as you grew old and had your own family.

Despite your own strong feelings towards your hometown, your friends probably wanted to escape it more than the average person.

You’d spent more than a few dozen hangouts laying in various basements across old couches and listening to them talk about their dreams, dreams that would take them hundreds of miles away from this town and hundreds of miles away from you.

That didn’t stop you from excitedly rushing over to the assigned hangout house for the weekend, your bike tires going so fast they were kicking up mud onto your bare legs as you pushed your thighs past your limit to peddle.

You were hurriedly hopping off once you caught sight of the familiar house, leaning your bike against the chipped paint on the side of it and quickly kicking off your dirty shoes as you greeted the mother of one of your best friends. She wasn’t at all thrown off by your quick entry or the fact you were disappearing into the basement before she could respond or tell you to clean off your dirty legs, more than used to your group of friends coming and going as the sun set.

The sounds of your pounding footsteps didn’t even grab the attention of the group of people hanging out in the basement, only one looking up to watch you as you stumbled in.

“I have great news.” You announced with a large smile, hands extended towards them to really drive forward the importance of your words .

Jay, one of your lifelong friends and the one who had watched you as you entered, raised his eyebrows in question and sat up slightly, a direct opposite of the others who didn’t even bother to acknowledge you yet.

“Mrs. Potter broke her leg.” You squeaked out the news and clenched your hands into excited fist, your smile only faltering when Sunghoon was turning to look at you with a confused glare and Heeseung stopped plucking at the guitar strings he was tuning to give you a look of bewilderment. The room fell silent and you dropped your hands against your sides in upset.

“I know she can be a bit of a nag but is that really something to celebrate?” Jungwon had an eyebrow cocked as he looked at you finally but you could see a hint of amusement on his face.

You were dramatically groaning and sulking your way over to the couch, flopping down onto the spot next to Jay and failing to fully notice the way he was tensing up for a second and then awkwardly clearing his throat when your leg brushed against his. You wrote it off as him being weary of the mud on your legs getting onto his pants, giving him a quick sorry glance before scooting over a tad.

“Of course I’m not happy about her broken leg.” You shot Jungwon a glare for his purposefully wrong assumption and he gave you a smile, eyebrows raising and hiding behind his bangs for a second. “But since she’s injured, may she heal quickly, that means there’s an open job at the fair.”

The finality of the news drew out immediate reactions from your friends. Presenting in the form of an eye roll from Jungwon as he immediately lost interest in the conversation, a disbelieving laugh from Sunghoon and an apologetic smile from Heeseung.

“Sorry Y/N but I helped you last year.” He was shaking his head and plucking at the strings again, happy he had an excuse and the others didn’t.

“That was six years ago.” You deadpanned at him, remembering all too well considering how terrible of a volunteer the tall boy had been. It wasn’t long before he was being asked to step down by the couple who ran it so his position could be filled by somebody who didn’t let the popcorn machine overflow or hand out free prizes to any kid that sniffled and gave him their best begging puppy eyes.

He just shrugged at your correction and your frown deepened despite the fact you’d already figured they’d say no considering they’d been doing so for almost a decade. You had hoped the guilt from Mrs. Potters injury would have been enough to convince at least one of the four boys.

“You’ve been asking us for all this time and we’ve never accepted. Why not ask Jake from the soccer team, doesn’t he have the hots for you?” Sunghoon was speaking in a bored tone as he relayed the information, not paying enough attention to notice the way you froze up and stared at him in confusion.

“Dude…” Heeseung trailed off as he shot his friend an annoyed stare, stretching out his leg so he could kick the boys knee in a form of scolding.

“Jake likes me?” You sat up straighter and stared at the oldest boy, trusting his word over the other threes. “Like Jake Sim? How long have you guys known about this?”

They exchanged guilty looks between themselves and you turned to look at the boy closest to you for answers instead.

Jay had always been the most mature out of your little group, even when you were all kids pushing each other around on the playground. He seemed like the oldest at times even though Heeseung took that role, strikingly alert and calm when situations caused everyone else to panic. You definitely weren’t the closest though friendship wise considering he wasn’t the biggest talker, more likely to stand in the corner and take small sips of his drink than actually engage in your loud conversations.

You always figured this was because he didn’t have any friends outside of your circle. The other boys had some more casual buddies, take Jake Sim for example, but Jay pretty much stuck to himself if he wasn’t with the four of you.

He had a certain energy that you weren’t used to seeing growing up, something about him being different than the others and that was including you and your friends. Even his look stood out, jet black hair with piercing eyes that only looked more intimidating considering he primarily wore dark clothes and a hint of smudged eyeliner.

Most people in town, and school growing up, found his presence overly intimidating and you’d heard your fair share of whispers about him and your group of friends.

His attempts to be seen as scary and keep people away from him never was turned onto you and you’d dealt with a lot of teasing from the others boy, making fun of Jay for having a soft spot for you or pouting that he let you do things he always refused to do for them. He’d glare at them until they shut up and moved on or he’d offer a soft shrug, followed by a hint of a smile when you giggled lightly at his lack of denial.

That’s why you were turning to face him now with wide and begging eyes, leaning against his side and wrapping your hand around his hoodie clothed arm to make sure his attention was on you, despite the fact it always seemed to be anyways.

“Did you hear Jake saying he likes me Jay?” Your voice was sickeningly sweet and you could hear the other boys groaning in disgust at your attempts to butter up their friend.

It didn’t seem to be working this time considering he was just staring at you with a blank expression, gaze dropping to where your hand was holding him for just a second like he was considering something before he was shrugging softly. You pouted again at his lack of response despite knowing your friend was a man of few words.

“He wouldn’t tell Jay anyways doofus, he knows that he-“ Heeseung was laughing as he started to speak and explain something that was abruptly cut off by Jungwon aggressively chucking the magazine he was flipping through in his direction.

The older boy let out a yelp and held his hands up in surrender. You looked back at Jay confused and waiting for him to fill in the blanks, even more lost when you noticed him glaring at Heeseung with a slightly fearful expression under the anger.

You suddenly remembered you were still holding onto his arm and you gently squeezed it to try and bring his attention for you, grateful it worked when he was awkwardly meeting your gaze again and sighing softly. You cocked an eyebrow in silent conversation as you waited for him to tell you what they were being suspicious about, grateful that in the background Heeseung had started to strum at his guitar again and the other two begun to talk about nonsense.

“Do you think Jake likes me enough to help me with the fair?” Your voice was a low whisper as you stared at him, leaning in slightly and missing the way his jaw clenched at your question.

“You know me and Jake aren’t friends Y/N, I wouldn’t know anything about it.” He was overwhelmingly glad your friends weren’t paying attention anymore because he knew for a fact his voice had taken on that extra sweet tone he only used with you, meeting your volume and also whispering softly despite the fact you both didn’t need to.

You were pouting again and not moving away from his face, so busy in your thoughts you once again failed to notice the way his eyes were dropping down to your pushed out lips that were closer to his than usual.

He knew you were just being dramatic, something you commonly were regardless of the situation, but he couldn’t stand seeing the expression on your face or the disappointment in your eyes. He was taking in a big breathy sigh, getting your attention again as you squeezed his arm and gave him another wide eyed and hopeful look.

“But you don’t need to ask him anyways because I’ll volunteer with you.”

You were breaking out into a wide smile at the same exact time the other boys in the room were making shocked and angry exclamations, being drowned out by your excited shriek, you closed the distance between you and Jay and leapt forward to give him a hug, pressing his back against the armrest of the couch and practically falling into his lap out of excitement.

“Dude what are you talking about? What about band practice?” Sunghoon’s annoyed tone was seeping through your happiness and piercing it with a knife of realization causing you to sit up slightly and look down at Jay in confusion.

“He’s right, what are you going to do about practice?” You were pouting at him again but slightly above him now considering you were still halfway in his lap with your arms wrapped around his neck. You watched the way his ears were turning red the longer you stayed in that position but you assumed he was just flustered from his plans colliding. “I can ask Jake if you’re busy it’s really no big deal.”

You heard a pained grunt from behind you and turned to see Sunghoon cradling his knee with a hurt expression, you followed his line of sight to see Jungwon glaring viciously at him.

“Sunghoon’s an idiot Y/N don’t listen to him, Jay is completely free to help you out with the fair.” Jungwon had taken on a sickeningly sweet tone and your nose scrunched up in disgust at the sound of it, looking between the four boys suspiciously.

None of them were meeting your gaze full out but you tried to ignore how weird they were all being about the situation, more excitement creeping back up at the confirmation you’d have help with the fair, especially since it was Jay who was miles more mature than the rest of them. You were squeezing him back into a hug with another happy squeal and he returned it weakly, eyeing Jungwon viciously over your shoulder.

——

You’d spend most of the following Monday morning getting ready for the first day of setting up the fair, tightly wrapping your scarf around your neck and settling your ear muffs just loose enough so you’d still be able to hear while avoiding the cold chill as it got later in the day.

Your morning hot chocolate was abandoned on the kitchen sink when you heard the soft bells chiming from outside your house, typically occupied by numerous other louder ringings but you knew who it was immediately judging by its gentle sound.

Looking out your living room window confirmed your suspicions seeing Jay sitting on his bike at the end of your drive way and staring down at his hands. He was picking at his fingers, a habit he’d adapted after the callouses from his guitar started to form more often.

Your fist was banging on the thick glass roughly, a smile on your face building when he jump slightly on his bike seat and looked up towards your direction with a startled expression. You waved at him and his shoulders released a little bit of tension, turning your hand over and fanning it towards you, silently instructing him to come inside.

He was hesitating for a second before you saw him gently lowering his bike down onto your front yard, bouncing in your stride as you went to open the door for him.

“I figured you’d want some cocoa before you were stuck in the cold all day.” You were quickly explaining your invitation inside to him as soon as you swung the wooden door open, he’d barely gotten up the steps and gave you a surprised look before nodding swiftly in agreement and coming inside.

You walked back to the kitchen with him in tow and tried to ignore the weird nervous feeling building in your stomach. You’d been alone with Jay countless times so you hadn’t thought much about it but the more you reflected back on it the more you realized you’d mainly sat in awkward silence for short durations waiting for the others to come back and ease the tension.

Pouring the steaming hot chocolate into a new mug for him, you told yourself to not take it personally.

Jay had always been on the quieter side and you knew it had nothing to do with you, as far as you were concerned. This was confirmed a bit when you glanced over your shoulder to see him awkwardly standing against the wall near the doorway, watching you as you poured the drinks but quickly diverting his attention around the room when you made eye contact.

You laughed softly, handling the hot handles carefully as you turned slowly, nudging your chin towards the living room so he understood where you were heading as you walked past him.

“Thank you again for helping me Jay.” You were speaking in a low voice as you sat on the couch, leaning over to hand him his drink considering he sat an entire cushion away from you. “I know you didn’t necessarily want to.”

He wasn’t responding out loud, just give you a soft nod of his head and looking down at the cup of hot chocolate awkwardly, twiddling his thumbs around the mugs handle and shifting in his spot on the couch. A frown was instinctively forming on your face at his silence and you wondered for a second if you should make up some excuse to free him of his responsibilities, maybe tell him you’d actually found somebody else to help out.

But then he was glancing at you and the corner of his mouth turned up just enough for you to notice and you felt better, a wide grin breaking out on yours.

“Oh.” Your eyes widened suddenly as you remembered something you’d gotten for him as a thank you, quickly telling him you’d be right back and rushing up the stairs to your bedroom, leaving him on the couch.

You returned swiftly with the fabric in your hands to see him sitting tensely in the same spot, waiting to see what you’d gotten so excited about. His eyebrows raised when you approached holding the long string of material and you smiled more at his clear hesitance, sitting directly next to him on the couch and turning to face him.

“What is that thing?” He was questioning in a low tone but you could hear the humor in the question, clearly amused by the monstrosity you were holding.

“I’ve taken up crocheting recently.” You explained to him with a smile, stretching out the clothing in your hands to show him exactly what it was you were gifting him. “I figured I’d make you a scarf so you didn’t get too cold helping me. It even matches mine.”

Your excitement was clear despite the fact it clearly didn’t match your store bought white scarf. The black fabric was lumpy and awkward, random strings sticking out in places they weren’t meant to be and barely forming a straight enough line to properly be a scarf.

Jay couldn’t have cared less about how the gift looked, he was flushed in the face just due to the fact you’d chosen to make him it in the first place. He figured you would have done it for whoever agreed to help you and he imagined you’d be gifting them all a lot of hand made things if the hobby managed to actually stick, but your smile when you shifted towards him more and indicated you wanted to put it on him was a gift enough in itself.

He watched your face closely as you delicately wrapped it around his neck, crossing the ends so it wouldn’t slip off easily or open up.

You were meeting his gaze for half a second and giving him a proud smile before a bright flash from the side of you was startling you both, jumping away from each other and widening the distance you hadn’t even realized was closing. You turned your head quickly to see what had made the interruption and a low groan pushed past your lips when you saw your mother standing there with her polaroid camera.

“I’m sorry! You two just looked so cute matching together.” She was giving you a sheepish grin as she poked her head out from behind the blocky camera, eyes teasing and glancing between both of you.

You glanced at Jay to see he had completely tensed up again, jaw tight as he avoided looking at you and stared towards your mother before going back to picking at his rough hands.

She wasn’t exactly wrong about the two of you matching, the scarves being the main point of focus but it didn’t help that Jay was wearing his typical head to two black clothing and you’d gone for a lightly colored white and tan pallet today, so perfectly opposite it almost looked intentional.

“It’s nice to see you as always Jay, it’s been a while since you’ve come around.” Your mothers tone was sweet as she spoke to him but you could see the curiosity on her face, causing you to quickly stand from the couch and butt in.

“Thanks mom but we really have to get going, can’t be late on the first day.” You gave her a tight smile and instinctively reached your hand backwards for Jay to take it.

It was left empty for a few seconds and you glanced over your shoulder to see him staring at it with confusion before he was setting his untouched mug down and clasping his rough hand in yours. You tugged him forward and he made a small shocked noise as you dragged him out of the house, listening to your mom call out wishing the two of you good luck with the fair.

You both stayed silent as he picked his bike up from off the wet grass and waited for you to unlock yours, your hands moving fast to switch the numbers and remove it from the rickety old piece of wood your mother called a handrail despite barely being stable enough for a twig to lean on it let alone a human.

Suddenly you felt an emotion you rarely did, embarrassment flooding through you as your neck got hotter and hotter under your scarf.

You found yourself wondering what Jay thought of the state of your house even though all the boys had been there over a dozen times and you’d never once considered picking up the messes your mom made in a rush or raking the pile of leaves and twigs surrounding your old porch.

Almost everyone in town was around the same class in terms of wealth and status, with the small exception of families like Heeseung’s who could afford weekly maintenance on their yards and a fully finished basement with little risk of flooding, but he was very generous with his extra space and would slyly cover lunches and treats without making a big deal about it.

You’d surprisingly never been to Jay’s house and you weren’t sure the other boys had been either.

He always insisted on walking home or being dropped off in the center of town claiming he had a ride on the way without giving too much information. You’d see Sunghoon, who was your usual driver, push it a few times but the uncomfortable look on the older boys face made you take a mental note to not pry for more details yourself.

You sighed when the lock finally popped up and glanced up just enough to see him still watching you patiently, not bothering to make snide remarks about your speed or rush you like your other friends might’ve.

“Sorry about my mom.” You started speaking once you pushed your bike over to where he was standing with his, both of you rolling them out of the driveway and down onto the empty street. The potholes were full of the brown rain water and specs of gravel here and there made it a bit risky to go too fast on your bike but you mounted it anyways.

He didn’t reply directly other than a shake of his head that indicated he saw no issue with it but the silence was killing you and you waited until his bike was steadily riding next to yours before speaking again.

“She’s just so overbearing sometimes and it’s totally embarrassing oh don’t worry she won’t do anything with that photo, I’m not even sure the camera fully works I think it’s just for the effect.” You were definitely rambling but it wasn’t out of character for you to be filling silence with nonsense and excited monologues.

“Your mom is nice.” He was talking suddenly and it indirectly cut off your next stream of verbal thoughts, surprised at the fact he had actually added to the conversation instead of just giving you soft nods and listening. “Atleast from what I can tell.”

You were staring at him with your mouth parted but only for a few seconds so you didn’t run into anything, nodding your head and swapping roles as you fell silent. You ignored the urge to ask about his own mother and turned a corner a little too sharply, thankfully not enough to fall into the dirty street but it still brought a small laugh out of him and you smiled in response.

“It’ll be really easy on the first day.” It was better to switch the line of conversation to something less invasive so you could avoid embarrassing yourself further and he went back to nodding as you spoke, riding slightly in front of you with his hands tightening and unclenching around the handle bars.

You mentally decided you’d learn how to make knitted gloves next.

——

The day thankfully went as simply as you had promised it would considering there wasn’t too much to do yet with the booths just starting to get set up as vendors picked their locations for the year and unpacked their truckloads of goodies.

You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you dragged Jay around, equally as happy about the fair finally happening and the fact you’d managed to have a friend to share it with after so many years of having to keep the excitement to yourself.

Jay was a very good sport about the muddy grass and the chaotic setting of the field that was always used, much more patient with you and your high energy than the other boys would’ve been. You kept your hand locked around his elbow as you pulled him from vendor to vendor, introducing each familiar face to him and giving him a quick rundown on what they sold and where they came from.

You loved the fair so much because it meant you got to see new faces and hear stories about the towns neighboring yours for once, a large amount of the attendees coming from other places to promote their small businesses. The vending was a small part of the entire celebration but it was your personal favorite.

“This booth is the best.” You were leaning a bit closer to him so none of the others heard you and took offense to your bias and he glanced at you from the side of his eye. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Jay shifted in place as you both studied the half set up booth full of custom made jewelry with shiny metal clasps and crystals you’d never even heard of let alone actually got to see in person.

“She makes all of these herself?” His voice had taken on the same whisper as yours had and you nodded as you followed his line of sight to see the owner of the booth, an older woman who was hanging up a sign with shaky hands and furrowed eyebrows.

Your hand was falling against your side as Jay moved forward and it lost its place on his arm, a frown forming on your face for just a few seconds before a smile replaced it as you realized what he was doing.

His voice was low and gentle as he spoke to her so you couldn’t quite hear what he was saying but she made an appreciative noise and handed the sign over to him so he could help her get it in place, her less shaky hands patting him on the shoulder thankfully once he was finished.

You took a step or two closer which was enough to get his attention and he looked up at you swiftly, eyes widening a bit like he only just now realized he’d left you standing there instinctively.

Surprisingly he was coming back to your side and bending his arm enough to indicate you could hold it again, something you quickly did even if your cheeks flushed a little at the realization you’d been holding onto him the entire day without really even noticing that wasn’t something you typically did.

“How lovely.” The vendor was practically cooing at the sight of you and your mouth dropped open at the implication of both your stance and your matching scarves. “What a kind young man, you’re a lucky lady.”

Jay made a noise that could only be described as strangled and you would have laughed at him if it wasn’t for the bashful look on the woman’s face, clearly regretting her words and assumption because of his reaction.

“I am, aren’t I?” You were giving her a sweet smile before gently patting his arm and watching the side of his face to further bask in his embarrassment.

You could hear her laughing in relief and delight at the sight of the two of you but you were more focused on how red Jay was turning and the way he was intensely attempting to not look at you. You grinned harder before waving goodbye to her and tugging him along, causing him to let out another distressed sound.

“What was that?” He was shocking you by speaking up and questioning your motives but you only laughed at the serious tone he’d taken and continued walking.

“I mean she’s not entirely wrong. I’d say I’m very lucky.” You tilted to the side to bump against him and he let out a scoffed laugh that made your smile grow, pleased you’d gotten him to loosen up a little bit.

You’d taken him a little past the vendors now so the buzz of the moving people and trucks had quieted down, instead being replaced by the clucks of chicken and the soft noises the cows in the barn were making.

The sight of a farm wasn’t uncommon where you lived but this one was particularly amazing to you considering the sheer size of it, making it the perfect space to host the crowds and heavy machinery that came along with the fairs open weekend. The large field would soon be filled with food trucks and a ferris wheel standing taller than the trees surrounding you, children running with caramel apples and a petting zoo full of the same animals in the red barn behind you.

“It’s really something.” Jay was filling the silence and you snapped out of your envisioning to glance at him, finding him also looking out into the field and watching the place come to life. “I didn’t realize how different it would be from just attending.”

“Atleast you don’t find it as boring as the others do.” You’d stopped walking by now in favor of leaning against a large pile of hay stacks and people watching, not surprised that he remained upright and stoic instead of joining you. “I’m really thankful you decided to help me this year even though you’d miss band practice.”

His head snapped over to you in shock and you laughed at the slightly panicked expression, shrugging your shoulders and picking at some of the loose straws of hay underneath you.

“Jungwon wasn’t exactly subtle but I’m grateful nonetheless.” You were standing back up at that and wiping the back of your pants to get the dust off of the fabric, looking back up at him and slightly squinting your eyes against the sun. “You’re a good friend.”

He was scratching the back of his neck and shifting his foot again awkwardly at the compliment but you were glad to see him nod in light acceptance.

“Wanna get some hot chocolate?”

——

A week continued on just like that with Jay arriving to your house a few hours before dinner time and the two of you riding to the field together, your voice overly filling the silence with his light hums and brief comments reassuring you that he was still actively listening.

Jay was providing more than just company, actually assisting you when it was finally time to start helping you and doing the volunteer work your other friends were so eagerly avoiding.

He was lifting heavy slates of wood without being asked twice and waiting for further instruction as you added a fresh coat of bright red paint to the apple bobbing booth. You knew you’d made the right choice with having him help (although your options were limited) and the other regular volunteers seemed to agree.

“Didn’t realize you were into strong guys.” The voice suddenly in your ear was making you jump and nearly spill your apple cider, glaring at the person joining you for the shock even though you were instinctively leaning closer to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You were mumbling around the styrofoam cup and she laughed mockingly at you, knowing you long enough to see through your indifference.

Cindy was twice your age but you’d gotten along from the moment you eagerly offered to volunteer, her parents being the founders of the fair in the first place which made her the rightful owner once they had passed away a few years ago.

She got on your case regarding just about everything but the tough love was a breath of fresh air considering the type of overbearing and coddling affection you were used to from your mother. It was almost your worst nightmare for her to catch you watching Jay as he helped the other male volunteers move logs and heaps of old wood away from where the mini rides would be installed.

“Honey I know heart eyes when I see them and yours are practically bursting out of your thick skull.” Her hand was reaching over to try to steal a piece of your warm pumpkin donut sat infront of you and you aggressively swatted at it with a scowl.

“He’s my friend. I’ve known him since I was like basically a baby.” You were trying to keep your tone flat and unsuspecting even though you weren’t even quite sure why you suddenly felt on trial.

You weren’t even purposefully eyeballing Jay or whatever she had called it but he just so happened to be directly in your line of sight and coincidentally he had removed his zip up at some point, most likely needing the cold chill because of all the heavy lifting he was doing with a surprise ease.

“Well he’s definitely not a baby anymore.” She made a small appreciative noise and you turned to her with your nose turned up in disgust, taking a moment to soak in her typically eccentric outfit.

Cindy was definitely one of the most interesting people in your town aesthetic wise, big chunky earrings being used as decorations in her large unkept hair and layers and layers of jarringly opposing patterns and fabrics. It somehow worked on her and you always loved the fact she looked like a little halloween trinket come to life.

“That’s disgusting, you could be his mother you know.” Your eyebrows were furrowed but she knew better than to take your annoyance serious, shrugging her shoulders and directing your attention back to the topic of the conversation with a ring covered hand.

“He watches you about as much as you watch him.” She had the same tone she always had when she felt like she was proving you wrong and in this case, she was. Jay was eyeing the two of you as you spoke but trying his best not to make it obvious, getting distracted enough to trip over a log and nearly crash into one of the bigger burlier men working.

He was far enough away that you couldn’t hear the interaction but you laughed at the glare he received and the way he threw both of his hands up in surrender, backing away and giving you a quick embarrassed glance before picking up the log he tripped over.

“Oh what a mess that boy is.” She was successfully stealing the rest of your donut and you sighed in defeat, leaning against her more and letting her signature vanilla scent hit you full force. “Doesn’t speak much does he.”

“You talked to him?” You didn’t quite understand why that peaked your interest so much but she chuckled at the eagerness in your question, nodding her head and chewing the soft donut for a few seconds before answering.

“He came over to old Betsy’s booth when she was using the restroom and I was filling in for her.” She seemed to miss the irony in her calling somebody around her age old and you didn’t dare point it out to her. “Kept eyeing the necklaces.”

You couldn’t think of a time Jay would’ve gone back to the jewelry stand without you and your eyes narrowed further.

“Well did he buy anything?”

“Don’t remember.” She hummed the words so casually but you knew better than to believe her, sitting up off her shoulder and turning your body so you could fully face her with a stern look. Your normally bubbly exterior was easier to lose than you usually preferred around your strange friend but you assumed it was because she never once minded you on your grumpiest days.

“You so totally remember.” Your finger raised accusingly and she glanced at it with a quirked eyebrow, her large red hexagon framed glasses almost blocking her amused expression. “Cindy what did he buy?”

You assumed she was going to make another excuse to not answer you directly but the universe, in all it’s twisted ways, actually offered a real one in the form of one of the senior volunteers calling for her attention and waving at you before urgently fanning her over.

“Looks like I’m needed elsewhere.” The air of mischief surrounding her had intensified as your own lighthearted annoyance followed suit and you rolled your eyes as she glanced back out into the field. “You’ve got better company incoming anyways.”

She was gone just in time for Jay to reach the two of you and he watched her back for a few seconds as she strolled away, a silent question floating around his furrowed eyebrows as if he was worried he was the reason she’d left so suddenly.

Your friend typically had an anxious energy surrounding him but it bothered you more so right now so you cleared your throat to get his attention and smiled when he finally gave it, patting the spot Cindy had just left empty and not scooting over when he jumped into a start and walked around the table to sit next to you.

“I heard you’ve met Cindy.” You nudged him with your elbow and he titled his head to grin at you in the most genuine way you’d seen from him in all your years of companionship, eyes squinting against the sun as it slowly set with a certain lightness you quite enjoyed. You figured the hard work had made him too tired to keep his guard as high as usual and you briefly considered asking the volunteers to give him more logs to move.

“She’s a character.” He took a second to form the sentence and it came out in slow patches like he was trying to find the nicest word to describe her eccentric ways. Your mouth was opening to inform him it was okay to be offput by her before he was talking again. “She reminds me of you actually.”

That shut you up and you felt a sudden unnecessary guilt for not immediately knowing if he was complimenting you or doing the opposite.

You hadn’t even noticed you were leaning against him again until he stiffened up at your unusual reaction, an apologetic look on his face making you feel even worse. It was beginning to frustrate you that you couldn’t stop embarrassing yourself in front of him, the ability beyond foreign and not something you’d ever even considered before.

His hand was cold when you reached out to place yours over it, not exactly holding but just letting your palm rest on top of his knuckles.

“I’m glad actually. I think she’s probably the most interesting person on earth.” You were watching his reaction to both your statement and the touch before forfeiting first and looking past him in the direction she’d gone.

“I doubt that.” He sounded strangely heavy and it was a tone unlike any you’d heard from him, immediately bringing your gaze back to his face in an attempt to decipher it.

Jay remained as stoic as he usually was and you were suddenly glad for the lowered sun, hoping the lack of lighting in the field managed to hide the light dusting of your cheeks.

——

It was almost refreshing to be back in the basement with the rest of your friends, not having any type of embarrassment in the pit of your stomach since Jay currently wasn’t here and for the first time in two weeks you weren’t having to overthink why you were feeling so weird.

Even though the other boys were trying their best to make you as awkward as possible, all staring at you with questioning eyes after Jungwon asked how it’d been volunteering this year.

“It’s fine.” You knew as soon as you gave a vauge answer that they were going to get suspicious, your eyes slowly closing in regret as they got an excited buzz to them and immediately hounded in on you like a pack of dogs (or over enthusiastic kittens).

“This is the first time since we were preteens you’ve talked about the fair and not went on for hours.” Even Sunghoon was being unusually perceptive and leaning forward on the edge of his arm chair.

“Can you guys not be super annoying about this?” You winced as you said it, already prepared for how rowdy they’d get at the admittance that there was something to be annoying about in the first place.

Not even Heeseung was exempt from the almost childlike giddiness they all had now and you rolled your eyes at the way they were all smacking eachother and overlapping sentences of ‘I told you so’ adjacent statements.

Luckily you were saved by the sound of Heeseung’s mom calling your name from the top of the stairs, shouting it a few times to try and outmatch the volume of all the boys talking at once. You managed to hear her exasperated tone beneath it and you left them to their theatrics without another word, finding her standing in the kitchen with the phone in her hand and an impatient look on her face.

You glanced at her apologetic before taking the phone from her and waiting until she was back at the table doing her crosswords before you actually put it up to your ear.

“Hello?” You knew it wasn’t likely to be your own mother calling about your whereabouts considering she ever rarely actually did, trusting you and knowing you were an adult who didn’t need checking in when you were usually only ever at a handful of places.

“Y/N?” Jays voice coming through the speaker was enough to make your stomach form a tight knot, not even fully processing the breathy and shaky way he was speaking before understanding something was wrong.

“Where are you?” You weren’t sure why it was the first thing you thought to ask him and he took a few painful seconds to even answer, your hand tugging at the chord connected to the wall anxiously as you waiting for his voice to come back and let you know he was still on the other end.

He was hushed when he muttered the address too and you felt little to no guilt about rushing out of the house without saying goodbye to the boys, formality and patience totally fleeing your mind as you picked up your bike off the side of the house and took off down Heeseung’s long smooth drive away.

Your thighs were burning as you made your way across town to the rundown area Jay had given an address for, heart racing in a similar pace to the buzzing in your ears that had started as soon as you were hanging up the phone.

The sun was setting now and you knew it was only a matter of time before your mother started to wonder why you were gone far past dinner but you couldn’t even begin to think about that or your friends realizing you weren’t coming back down or Cindy checking her jeweled watch when you didn’t show up for your usual hot donut before volunteering.

Nothing else was currently even a drop more important than Jay and the way he rushed out the address, one you didn’t even need an explanation for to understand what it was. The hesitance in the delivery told you exactly where you were heading and that was only part of the reason you felt sick as you rounded the corner sharply into the barren seeming neighborhood.

The houses with boarded windows and bright red ripped notices on the doors would’ve led you to assume the place was abandoned if it wasn’t for the mass of bright lights coming from the house on the end of the street.

You forfeited your bike in the middle of the road in exchange for running and you skidded to a stop when you realized you’d managed to completely sprint past Jay, not noticing him considering the way he was practically hunched in on himself and missing his usual stoic expression as he stood under a large overgrown tree.

Instead his face was an eerie combination of absent and horrified, gaze meeting your wide eyes but leaving you with the terrible feeling he was looking straight through you.

“What happened?” Your voice seemed to echo and his face was red and blue from the lights behind your tensed shoulders, your hands being painted with the same shades when you were reaching up to cup his cold cheeks.

He had the scarf you’d made for him around his neck and your heart ached at the idea he might’ve been on his way to meet up with you before whatever had occurred did. Your thumb brushed over its bumpy fabric when it smoothed over his skin and he practically leaned into it despite your friend’s usual disinterest towards physical touch.

“Can we go somewhere else?” It took you a few breaths to even realize he’d been the one to speak and you nodded instinctively, staying frozen even when he stood up and by default placed himself directly infront of you.

Your boot bumped against his shoe when you went to take a step back and he quickly looked away from the house and continuously flashing sirens.

You were wondering if it was a good idea to leave or if he still was needed by the officers scattered throughout the yard and near the patrol cars, sparing them a glance over your shoulder as you started to follow him. You didn’t meet any of their eyes enough to understand what you should do but there was no way you were going to leave Jay alone so you sighed and followed after him.

He was leading you around the back of the house where you could see a tilted garage and a bunch of shrubbery, almost enough to be completely hiding the car underneath it all.

Jay didn’t look at you once as he started to pull twigs and piles of bushes off the hood and windshield, failing to realize the way you were hugging yourself now to fend off the cold and anxiously peering back around the side of the house as you waited for somebody to come and try to stop you from leaving. Nobody came and eventually he was stopping to take a harsh breath before opening the door and looking at you expectantly.

Despite your nerves, you still followed suit and climbed into the old car. The air was stuffy and you could almost taste how long it’d been since it was put to any use especially obvious with all of the dust lining the dashboard and creating a fine film over the cup holders and stick shift that Jay was wrapping his hand around without a second thought.

“I didn’t know you had a car.” Your voice was filling the car only after you’d been driving in silence for a good fifteen minutes, leaving the town limit a few blocks ago and entering a long stretch of road you’d never been down before.

It was true considering there had been over a few dozen times everybody had complained about the lack of cars in the group, instances where you’d had to cancel plans because it just wasn’t manageable with your bikes. Even Heeseung didn’t have a license even though his mom was always telling him he’d have access to the family van sitting in the garage if he just took the road test.

You didn’t miss the fact that there was a lot you didn’t know about Jay, clearly more than you even realized considering how confused you were tonight by all the missing pieces.

“It was my dad’s.” He was finally glancing over at you but his tone of voice let you know this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about further, nodding your head in understanding and watching him as the trees grew larger around you and the road twisted and turned.

“Are you feeling okay?” You didn’t really know what to ask him considering how little you knew about the situation but he was still nodding slowly and it looked genuine from what you could tell.

You decided it was best to just stay silence so you didn’t accidentally say the wrong thing and Jay took a deep breath before doing the same thing, neither one of you speaking for the next thirty minutes as he drove and stared ahead at the road.

You opted for looking out the window at the large stretches of land and water, roads now slick and shiny with the rain that had been falling during your drive and making the night even more gloomy than it already was. You hoped your mom had seen the weather and assumed you were staying with a friend tonight instead of riding your bike home, your stomach turning a bit at the idea of her calling around to try to make sure you were safe.

Heeseung or one of the other boys knew to cover for you if she called his phone, repeating the practiced line that you had fallen asleep on the couch and forgotten to check in with her beforehand.

But then the worry would land with them and that thought made you frown too.

You weren’t yet regretting following Jay but you hoped you’d get to where you were going soon, suddenly wondering if he even had a destination in mind or if he was just going to keep driving forever and ever.

It didn’t take long to get your answer considering he was pulling into an empty parking lot sitting above a small hill that led down to what you assumed was a dark beach, a cold chill from the water filling the car once he turned it off and the low rattle of the engine disappeared.

He was just sitting there in the drivers seat with a faraway look on his face, picking mindlessly on the callouses covering his hands like he always did.

You were suddenly remembering what was the cause of the lump in your coat pocket, sitting up a bit and reaching your hand inside until it wrapped around the soft fabric you’d been molding for the past two weeks.

Jay was already watching you curiously and his eyes flickered up to yours when he realized what he was you were now holding and presenting out to him across the center console, a hopeful look on your face as you nudged it in his direction.

“You made these?” His question had an obvious answer but you had a feeling he just wanted to hear you say it.

“They match your scarf.” You shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal even though you’d gone through an entire roll of fluffy yarn to make the small pair of gloves, messing up the instructions from your old crocheting book numerous times before you finally got them to a functional point.

Your heart was filling with pride when he was pulling them on and flexing his finger inside, seemingly fitting thankfully considering all you had to go off of for sizing was the amount of time you’ve stared at his hands playing guitar.

“They’re perfect.” He looked so sincere and thankful that it threw you for a few seconds, your eyes widening as you nodded your head and smiled at him shyly. “Thank you seriously.”

“It’s no problem. Did you want to get out?” The intensity suddenly filling the air was making your cheeks flush and you wanted nothing more than to be out of the old car, even if it met facing the cold chill waiting for you outside.

He seemed like he was considering it for a few seconds before he was opening his door and stepping out, making his way over to your side before you could process how fast he left and you faltered when he was opening your door for you.

Thankfully he didn’t seem to take your delayed reaction to heart and you were scrambling out before another awkward second passed by, feeling even more grateful when he was unexpectedly bending his arm and letting you wrap your hands around it like you would at the fair.

It brought a level of comfort to you that you hadn’t begun to understand fully but you welcomed it all the same, walking closely to him as you left the parking lot and the hard concrete under your feet turned into wet feeling sand that slowed your pace down automatically.

The beach was fogged over from the cold weather and you could barely see the water due to the darkness now completely surrounding you, relying solely on the sound of the waves crashing against the shore to let you know you were getting too close.

You and Jay walked in silence like that for a few minutes, alongside the water but far enough that it was only barely touching the sides of your boots whenever the waves rolled over and spread out into the sand.

He was eventually pausing in his stride and you glanced at the side of his face expectantly, seeing that same blank look he had when sitting in the car and feeling your heart tighten with the urge to help him any way you could. You weren’t even sure where to begin but it felt right to slowly sit down onto the sand, holding his arm loose enough that he could feel you moving before you tugged him down too.

You smiled a bit when he sat quickly beside you and you warmed even though the floor was cold and damp underneath you.

You decided to keep holding onto his arm even though you weren’t walking anymore and that left you practically hugging his side while you sat facing him with his own gaze towards the water, your legs pressed up against his and his glove covered hands crossed over his stomach cautiously.

There’d been dozen of instances where you had to sit in close proximity to Jay but never once had you experienced one where you were having to silently tell your heart to calm itself incase he could feel it beating out of control.

“Are you alright?” You couldn’t physically take the silence in the air anymore and he looked at you as you spoke.

His gaze was heavy but as kind as it always was when situated on, a tiredness to him that you weren’t used to seeing. You squeezed his arm and they softened even further while his head tilt to the side at your affectionate gesture.

“I’m sorry I took you all the way out here. I wasn’t really sure where else to go so I just drove.” He was quiet as he spoke and you almost didn’t hear him over the crashing waves.

You suddenly felt a twinge of guilt for being so skeptical about following him into the car and allowing him to leave the limits of your town.

“I don’t mind, it’s a beautiful place.” You heard the irony of the statement at the same time amusement passed over his face, both of you knowing it was far too dark for you to visually appreciate the beach. “It’s cool you can drive.”

He actually did laugh at that, a light one closer resembling a scoff but it seemed genuine nonetheless. You didn’t expect an explanation for him keeping his ability a secret and he didn’t offer one.

You fell into another lapse of silence but you found more comfort than awkwardness in this one, enjoying the closeness of the moment and trying to put yourself into his mind for a second.

Jay was all you could see with how low the light was, just the side view of his face that you’d been accustomed to for such a large part of your life that it was almost odd to be feeling so overwhelmed by the sight of him. It definitely wasn’t the time to be trying to understand why you had been feeling so off kilter around him these days but you knew the clock was clicking for you to figure it out.

His jaw was tense like it got whenever the boys got too rowdy in public or the times in high school when people would whisper in the halls as your small group passed.

It wasn’t a secret that Jay had a certain protective nature surrounding him but your silent friend had never looked as bothered as he did right now.

You were wrestling with yourself in your own mind and trying to shake the idea that he was possibly uncomfortable with your sudden clinginess. You had a reminder on a constant loop that he was the one who initiated the small contact almost everytime and his cheeks flushed red almost as much as yours did whenever you squeezed his arm in yours.

“My mom got arrested.” His voice was cutting off your rampant irrelevant thoughts and your mouth parted slightly in surprise from the sudden admission, immediately snapping shut when you noticed him watching you from the side of eye.

“Jay.” You went to speak words of comfort but his lips pursed and his eyes shut for a second like he was pained so you swallowed your sentence and waited for him.

“It’s not a big deal and it’s not the first time or the last.” He was beginning to rush through the words like he didn’t think he could manage to get them all out and you watched him carefully, forgetting the cold weather and the wetness coating the fabric of your pants. “I called you because I knew seeing you would make me feel better but I don’t really need to talk about it or anything.”

“Then we don’t have to talk about it.” Your voice was firmer than usual and his shoulders relaxed.

You weren’t even thinking when your hand was reaching up to touch his face, turning his head towards your direction so he didn’t really have a choice but to look at you.

Your hands were undoubtedly freezing against his skin but you still took the opportunity to absentmindedly rub your thumb against his cheek and jaw, observing the way he almost melted into the touch with something close to pain in his expression.

This was nothing like the arm holding or the hands brushing when you passed him a paintbrush, crossing over the line of things you could fit in the category of your newly developed friendship without the connection of the group. This was something else entirely and you chose not to place it anywhere for now, letting it exist here on the beach without the weight in your chest following along.

“Did it make you feel better?” Your voice was almost a whisper but you had no doubt he heard you considering how close your faces had gotten now that you made him look at you fully. “Seeing me?”

You knew the answer already when you asked it but you still weren’t prepared for the way he softly nodded while leaning into your touch further, eyes big and puppy like in direct contrast to his usual stern and more feline gaze. Vulnerability had completely taken over his typical stoic attitude and you felt a surge of pride for getting to see him like this.

Jay had been consuming your thoughts since you started hanging out one on one and it felt far too important of a moment to let pass you by.

You barely had to shift yourself forward to be able to kiss him but the slightest sign of you moving spurred him to close the gap instead, pushing his lips against yours and taking you by surprise.

The beach was almost quieter as the two of you kissed softly, the waves sounding like they were further away since all you could focus on was the warmth radiating off of him. You were flushed from how delicate he was with you and how it lacked any real heat considering it was much more of a romantic kiss than you both trying to turn the other on.

He kept his eyes closed when you pulled away from eachother and you rested your forehead against his, watching his expressions closely and not wanting to lean back incase the lack of touch made him reconsider what had happened.

You’d be stupid to not understand Jay had always had a soft spot for you but just because the boys teased him about it didn’t mean he actually felt like you were somebody special. He was a gentleman in all aspects of his interactions so you weren’t certain enough to bet on the fact he had any type of feelings for you that would make him see this kiss the way you did.

“Please don’t regret this tomorrow.” He said it in one quick whisper and your heart twisted at the same time your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I won’t, of course I won’t.” You hoped your voice was firm enough to make him believe you but you could tell by the look on his face that he was still skeptical.

You didn’t know how else to prove it to him besides kissing him again so that’s exactly what you did, hands cupping his face and pulling him into you much more passionately than you had the first time. This go around there was a lot more movement and a soft noise escaped you when you felt his gloved hand on your knee.

It was hard to connect the fact the Jay you were kissing was the same Jay you’ve known almost your entire life. He was the same boy who used to scowl on the swings at the playground and silently pay for your snacks at lunch or hold the door for you when entering Heeseung’s house.

You were almost reverting back through all your platonic memories with him as you kissed and seeing him in a different light than you had before.

This time when you stopped kissing you fully leaned into him until you were practically hugging without having your arms around each other, the sudden longing to just feel him close overwhelming you as you tried to pretend it was simply because of the cold and not because he opened up apart of himself to you tonight and that seemed to be the final piece you needed to understand how you felt.

“We should go, you’re going to catch a cold.” He was speaking again in a far away voice and you would’ve declined and asked for just a few more minutes but he was already standing up.

You suddenly felt the most distant you had in a long time from him and your throat was tightened even when he offered his arm in your direction, the action coming across more robotic now than him actually reaching out for you.

It was hard to not overthink considering he was driving you both home in silence, the hills and forest of the town coming into sight as you left behind the empty stretches of road and sky above the ocean.

For once you found yourself looking out the window with longing as you passed the welcome sign back into where you’d grown up, finally slightly understanding why most people had a hard time coming home after being somewhere else for a change.

You didn’t stop thinking about the beach or the road leading even further away until he was pulling into your driveway, the car making a funny scraping sound as it pushed itself up the slight incline.

Jay sighed softly, the first noise he’d made in a long time that wasn’t covered by the radio commercials and the heat running on high with that loud rattling noise, shutting the car off completely as you both sat there in silence.

“Are you able to go home? If you need somewhere to stay I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind as long as you stayed on the couch.” You were speaking swiftly with your eyes slightly widened and he smiled at you gently even if it didn’t quite seem genuine.

“I’m alright, I’ll figure it out.” His tone held a stubborn finality that you didn’t bother trying to question again even though it hurt your heart to think about him searching for a place to stay.

You almost begged him to just come in and warm up for a bit, maybe use your phone to call some of the boys and ask them if he could go there before he just started to drive around in circles but you decided against it.

Instead you leaned far enough that the middle console was pressing against your stomach and you kissed him softly on his cheek, rubbing the clumpy fabric of his scarf before sitting back in your seat and smiling shakily as you tugged the door open and stepped back out into the cold.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Your head cocked so he understood it was a question you wanted answered and he took a few moments before he was nodding his head and starting the car again, lifting his hand off the steering wheel for a brief second in a wave as you closed the door.

——

Jay didn’t show up the next day but you still stood at the end of your driveway with your bike in your hands for twenty minutes, shifting from the cold and slight embarrassment even though nobody was around to see you left hanging.

You filled your mind with the calming thought that he was just busy and he’d show up any minute panting from rushing over here, or maybe he’d even bring his new car and you wouldn’t have to ride your bikes in the cold anymore.

You’d have a good day setting up the fair and you wouldn’t have any awkward silences about the kiss, infact maybe you’d even kiss again when he dropped you back off at home later.

The thoughts and daydreams only entertained you until half an hour had passed and now you’d officially be late so you had no choice but to flip up your kick stand with your foot and mount your bike with a deep frown.

Even then you still felt guilty about leaving incase Jay showed up late at your house and found out you had left without him.

The rational part of you knew that wasn’t going to happen and if anything he could come to the fair and just meet you there but you could tell from the first hour that he wasn’t going to and he wasn’t anywhere waiting for you to come back. He simply hadn’t shown up and you were beyond stupid for thinking otherwise all morning.

It actually hadn’t even crossed your mind that he wasn’t going to show up.

You ran through the possible scenarios, coped with the inevitable tension in the air and the chance of an extremely awkward conversation where you had to confess your newfound feelings for him.

You’d even practiced over how you were going to say it all morning as you got dressed down to the last word but not once did you think he would simply leave you there alone like a completely fool.

Jay was a lot of things, he was reserved and shut off and maybe a little bit blunt at times but he was certainly never cruel and especially not to you. Your friends seemed to agree considering how appalled they were when you stomped down the steps with wet leaves wrapped around your boots and frowned as you explained what had happened.

“Wait you kissed? You like Jay?” Heeseung seemed utterly confused and you couldn’t tell if he was playing up the surprise or if he genuinely wasn’t paying attention to the obvious signs.

“Dude have you even been here? That’s not the problem, what do you mean he didn’t show up?” Sunghoon was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands cupping his face in distress.

“I shouldn’t have kissed him without asking how he felt about me first.” You ignored his question and shook your head as you slouched back into the couch, more upset with your self now than anything else.

All the boys looked around at each other in shock and the air got heavy again like it always seemed to whenever the topic of you and Jay came up. Your eyebrows furrowed into a glare and you settled it onto Jungwon who looked the most guilty, hoping he’d spill whatever it was that they weren’t saying to you.

“Jay is totally into you.” He was letting it out in one breath of air and the other boys collectively rolled their eyes and swatted at your friend. “He has been forever and we all totally make his life hell because of it.”

“Why on earth would you guys do that?” You were practically yelling now even though it was hard to stay mad at them when they all looked so guilty. “Just a few weeks ago you were trying to get me to ask out Jake Sim.”

“We were trying to get him to finally grow a pair and make a move.” Heeseung made you groan at the crude wording but despite your annoyance you actually understood the ways they were trying to help especially since it had actually worked up until you screwed it up by kissing him.

You relayed this thought to them and they looked just as stricken by the fact Jay had not followed up after your kiss as they did the first time you said it.

They did their best to cheer you up with covers of your favorites songs and less argument filled board game rounds but you couldn’t stop the hole in your heart from deepening everytime you thought about it. Your anger towards yourself slowly transferred to him instead as the night went on but even that felt wrong.

Opening night of the fair was finally happening tomorrow and you could barely feel the usual excitement, even when all the boys told you they would be coming to keep you company.

You gave them a soft smile before bidding them goodnight and you truly did appreciate what they were trying to do but it wasn’t the outcome you wanted.

That still didn’t stop you from waking up early the next morning and getting yourself ready, pinning your stray hairs back with cheap pumpkin decorated pins you’d had for a decade and pulling on the new pair of gloves you made (finished off with much neater edges than Jays had been).

The others were going to arrive any moment to accompany you so you sat on the couch finishing your hot chocolate and tapping your feet against the carpet with anticipation, doing all you could to ignore the pit in your stomach so you could still have fun and appreciate all the hard work you and the other volunteers had contributed.

Rough honking from outside made your head pick up expectantly and you set your mug on the coffee table before rushing to the window and smiling brightly when you saw all of your friends waving from inside an old car you didn’t recognize.

It wasn’t until you opened the door that you caught sight of the driver and you faltered a bit, long enough that he had stepped out onto your driveway and waved at you with a sheepish expression.

“Hey Y/N, hope it’s okay that I tag along.” Jake Sim was standing infront of your house and he apparently was one of the few people your age in town that owned a car and even worse, your friends were giving you encouraging looks behind his back.

Heeseung lost his thumbs up when you glared at him through the windshield but you made sure to smile at Jake reassuringly.

“Of course it’s okay Jake, it’s good to see you.” You tugged open the passenger seat door and tugged at Heeseung’s hoodie until he was groaning and unbuckling, squeezing into the backseat with the others and allowing you to be in the front.

You let the boys talk loudly and play their music while you sat in silence during the short drive to the field where the fair was being held, finding it harder to ignore the fact somebody was missing when all you could think about what your drive back from the beach.

Jake quietly humming wasn’t enough for you to forget how Jay kept a tight grip on the steering wheel or shifted in his seat at a red light.

The comparison of the two definitely wasn’t fair especially since you were almost positive your friends had begged Jake to give you all a ride under some faux promise that you would find it kind enough to give him a shot. He was always nice to you in school and definitely wasn’t trying anything sleazy now, instead arguing with Jungwon about the speed limits and his backseat driving.

Your heart warmed the second you were approaching the field and you could see the Ferris wheel peaking over the trees, car slowing down to allow the groups of people and large families to cross the street in front of you.

The turn out was probably the biggest you’d seen yet and even your friends were making noises of excitement as they peered out the windows and took in the rows of games and smaller kiddy rides.

“Woah this is awesome.” Jake sounded genuinely amazed from beside you and you glanced back over your shoulder to smile at him. “You guys did a great job.”

You knew he must’ve been referring to the larger group of people who volunteered but you still couldn’t help but think of all the work Jay helped do and how much he contributed this year.

“Thank you Jake.”

——

It was almost like a homecoming as you walked across the field and let the mud build up under your boots, a caramel apple in hand and the other wrapped around Heeseung as he laughed and tried his best to win your group another stuffed animal despite the fact the three boys behind you were holding two each.

“Holy shit.” You couldn’t help but be impressed when he knocked all the pins down again even though you quickly covered your mouth apologetically when the mother of a child near you sent you a sharp glare.

“Here you go madam.” He’d put on a funny proper voice as he handed you the small pink stuffed lamb and you mockingly curtsied at him as he squinted his eyes against the sun and surveyed the area. “Alright going to go attempt to brave the portapotties, wish me luck.”

“Hold your breath.” Jungwon was quick to chirp behind you and you groaned at the imagery, pulling your arm out of Heeseung’s so he could half jog over to the bathrooms and feeling a slight chill run over you at the loss of body heat.

Somebody was clearing their throat from beside you and your eyes widened a bit as you turned to see Jake standing there now, a sheepish expression on his face with his elbow angled at you invitingly. He must’ve picked up on your walking habit by now and you smiled bashfully at him before accepting his arm.

“Are you having a good time?” You started walking together as you spoke quietly, your two friends behind you talking loudly in weird voices as if they were making their animal prizes communicate.

“It’s beautiful.” He actually sounded like he meant it, tone a little breathy as he turned his gaze to the Ferris wheel and nodded appreciably. “I understand why you love it so much.”

You were actually enjoying his company despite the ache in your chest and you were glad he got to tag along with all of you, hoping you’d get the chance to see him with the boys more often including the one you were missing the most right now.

It’d been a few hours into the fair and you knew Jay could come another day by himself if he really wanted to but the thought of him missing opening day and feeling how special it was hit you harder than you wished it would and you were almost antsy for your friends to leave so you could go and mope to Cindy and ask her for some advice.

“Look who I ran into.” Heeseung sounded excited from behind you as he returned from the bathrooms and your eyebrows raised curiously, turning in unison with Jake.

Your mouth dropped open a bit when you saw Jay standing there awkwardly, hands in his pockets and a torn expression on his face that turned into one of confusion when he realized you were linking arms with Jake Sim. He didn’t say anything and neither did the others boys, not at all matching Heeseung’s enthusiasm and instead sending you glances like they weren’t sure what reaction was appropriate.

To make matters worse, Jake clearly wasn’t reading the energy and instead was nudging your side affectionately and giving Jay a wide smile.

“And you thought he wasn’t going to show up.” He didn’t know the history behind the two of you or anything that had happened so you couldn’t really fault him for his embarrassing comment, realizing now he must’ve caught wind of some of the things the boys had said about you not expecting Jay.

The comment was enough to break the tension in the air for something much worse and you watched the boy in question purse his lips and nod his head in bitter understanding, pulling a hand out of his pocket to rub the back of his neck.

“Well this was nice but I’ve gotta go.” He didn’t wait for anybody to say any words of parting and instead he was turning on his heels and leaving.

You scoffed and removed your arm from Jakes gently, stomping away from them to follow behind Jay and trying to ignore the clueless boys confused questioning to your friends about what he had said wrong.

“You’re just going to leave?” You waited until you were closer to the barns to speak even though you were pretty sure he knew you’d been following him. “You don’t have anything you feel like you want to say to me?”

He looked surprisingly calm when he turned around to face you but your anger didn’t settle much even when you saw the hurt and lost expression he had, staring down at you and all of your fury like he thought he deserved it.

“What is there for me to say?” His voice was low and you frowned again at how defeated he seemed, how easy it was for him to end the conversation even though you felt like there was a thousand things being left unsaid. “I don’t want to interrupt your time with Jake.”

You let out a noise that was close to a laugh but without any sign of amusement, anger taking over any type of sadness or confusion you felt about the situation. He wasn’t saying it like he was at all angry at you for being around Jake but that almost made you more upset, seeing how simple it seemed for him to just walk away with no explanation.

“By my time with Jake do you mean the time I’m spending waiting for you to show up knowing you wouldn’t?” Your voice cracked a little as you took a step closer to him. “And when you finally do you’re just going to leave? I mean did the night on the beach just mean nothing to you?”

“The night on the beach?” He was now starting to show a little emotion outside of the almost cowardly demeanor he’d had, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared down at you now that you were closer. “The night you pity kissed me?”

It was almost hard to believe he’d say something like that and even harder to comprehend that he genuinely meant it, he wasn’t attempting to hurt you or being unnecessarily cruel like most people would but instead he actually was going off the notion you’d kissed him out of sympathy.

“How could you think that way?” You tried to soften your tone but you were just so upset about everything and even more so now that the fairs opening day was passing you by and going so poorly.

Jay was just looking at you and you were almost worried he was going to start crying, the pained look not going away even when you were closing the gaps between the two of you and bringing your hand up to his cheek. He leaned into it when your thumb rubbed against his skin again but he didn’t answer your question.

You could feel his hand on your lower back like he was afraid you’d back away prematurely but you had no plans to go anywhere despite being upset with him, you could see how hurt and confused he was and that trumped your own feelings that could be dealt with afterwards.

He had been a constant in your life for as long as you could understand the notion of having a friend but you felt like you were just now seeing him for the first time ever and you were almost embarrassed that you didn’t know how to help him especially since he always seemed to know what to say to you when you were upset.

“You have no idea what you are to me.” He’d lost the helplessness in his voice now that you were touching him and the pained tone was more stemming from your closeness than anything else.

There was nothing you could say to that that would properly convey how you felt about the hushed reassured confession so instead you kissed him.

He was immediate in the way he put his other hand on your back too and pulled you closer to him, turning your head and relishing in how different it felt to kiss him standing up.

Jay made a low noise when your hands moved from his face to his hair and you wanted nothing more than to pull another from him, your tongue swiping across his bottom lip seemingly doing the trick as you felt his hands squeeze your waist instinctively.

You pulled away from the kiss to try and breathe but he was immediately following after your lips and connecting them again which made you decide you didn’t at all mind continuing even if it meant replacing air with the feeling of him against you.

You didn’t even realize you were moving until your feet with tripping over his and your back was hitting what you assumed was the barn, a small laugh leaving your lips even though it was muffled by his moving against you feverishly. Jay was kissing you like he’d never get to do it again but by now you’d caught on to the fact he’d thought about this alot longer than you had.

His hand was leaving your back to stop at your knee, pulling it to the side easily so he could slot his own in between yours and press impossibly closer.

“God you’re everything.” He was breathing heavily as he spoke and you whined a bit at how low his voice had gotten, sounding similar to how it did when he’d get focused on one of their songs or scold the boys for messing around too much.

“Can you stay with me here?” Your own came out surprisingly squeakish and you flushed in embarrassment.

He was nodding softly and your hand left his hair to sit on the back of his neck for a second before you were kissing him one more time quickly, smiling a little when he took a step back after and grabbed your free hand so you’d stumble forward with him.

“I’m sorry I was late.” He said it so casually like you were just two regular people going out and he was a little tardy for a date but you figured you could talk about how the situation hurt you later and try to enjoy the rest of the day.

You were leading him back towards your friends but dropping his hand as you approached, not fully sure you wanted to deal with their teasing and quick comments. Jay was easily understanding what you were implying and he fell back into his silent nature, giving them quick head nods when they expressed excitement over him joining you.

It was beginning to look just like your regular hangouts until you all agreed to head towards the ferris wheel and suddenly Jake was turning towards you with a shy smile and his arm bent in your direction.

You couldn’t fault him for assuming you’d want to continue linking arms now that you were back but your heart clenched for a second knowing who was standing right behind you.

Jay was such a quiet and stoic person that you didn’t necessarily think he’d sit there throwing glares at any guy who tried to speak to you but you were either extremely wrong or the energy of the day had gotten to him because you could feel his arm snaking around your waist just as you turned to see the annoyed expression he had and the harsh way he was watching Jake.

All discreetness was thrown out the window at that and you watched the boy across from you purse his lips in bitter understanding before slowly pulling his arm back against his side.

“Don’t be rude.” You were whispering the scolding words in Jay’s ear but leaning against his side so he knew you were okay with the show of affection even if it had started as possessiveness.

He didn’t say anything in his typical fashion and you tried to ignore how giddy the thought of him being jealous made you. You stayed close to him as you waited in line, listening to your friends joke around as you felt his hand squeezing your side impatiently every few minutes.

It was a no brainer that you’d be sitting next to him when an empty carts started to make their way around the wheel and you smiled softly at Heeseung and Jungwon fighting over who got to sit with Jake, pushing them slightly when the working attendant started to look extra impatient.

Jay glanced at you from the side of his eye before putting a hand forward to signal you to get on first, following behind as you scooted across the metal bench and watched him close the door tightly.

“Are you scared of heights?” Your voice was teasing as you leaned against his side to looked closely at the nervous look on his face. He glared at you lightheartedly and when his eyes didn’t leave your face for a few seconds you realized he was going to kiss you right as he did.

His big hand was cupping your cheek to pull you in closer and the feeling of him moving against you was enough to override the embarrassment of kissing before the ride had even moved you out of view from the crowd.

You practically kissed the entire time your cart slightly jerked forward to allow new people onto the ones under you, slowly lifting you higher and higher as your heart raced.

Kissing Jay was a completely foreign feeling but you felt like you couldn’t stop now that you knew what it was like, finding the low noises your friend made absolutely addicting to the point they were overriding your system and everything you’ve ever thought about him. You never once considered what he would feel like this close to you or how he’d look when you pulled apart to breathe, dark eyes low and hazy and his lip reddening.

“Is this what you expected when you offered to help me paint stables?” You were grinning as you spoke and he brushed some of your hair behind your ear.

“Not necessarily but a guy can dream.” He surprised you by joking back and the ride jolted alive suddenly, both of you lurching forward for a second before dissolving in a fit of laughter.

From the top of the ferris wheel you could not only see the fair and all of the work you’d put into it but you could see a large part of your small town, the gravel roads you struggled with your bike on everyday to Heeseung’s and the railroad tracks that led to the side of town you’d found Jay on the night he called you.

Off in the distance you could even make out the long stretch of road where the trees broke away and the sea inevitably began.

Jay was softly calling for your attention once your cart stopped at the very top of the ride, your hair blowing in the light wind as you turned to face him. The sun had nearly set now and he looked particularly handsome when he was lit up by the lights adorning the metal beams under you, that nervous look returning as he shifted his body to face you.

He almost looked as if he was planning to tell you something, maybe even make a speech of some sort but instead he was closing his mouth and reaching into his coat pocket to pass you a small box.

You took it from his glove covered hands and glanced up at him with wide eyes, already having a relatively good idea about what was inside the box. He raised an eyebrow at you as a way to urge you opening it and you quickly untied the soft ribbon keeping it closed, both of you keeping quiet like you were scared to ruin the moment.

Inside, surrounded by shredded wrapping paper to keep it safe, was a beautiful handmade necklace with a golden seashell at the end of the thin chain. You knew right away who had made the piece of jewelry and your eyes filled up with tears as you looked at him.

“Sorry I’m not as crafty as you but I figured I knew somebody who was.” He was trying to joke around to soften the heavy atmosphere but you could see the hesitation on his face as he waited for you to say something. “It’s the right one right? You kept looking at it the first day you brought me here.”

“It’s perfect.” Your voice was breathy and it came out as one word but you knew he understood, his shoulders losing some tension as he shifted closer to you and took the necklace from your shaky hands.

You sniffed a little bit and turned around so you could lift your hair and assist him in putting the necklace on you, getting a full view of the town around you as you did so and barely even noticing the fact the ferris wheel was beginning to move again.

All you could focus on was his cold hands on your neck and the weight of the seashell as it softly fell down in the middle of your collarbones, your heart thumping so hard you worried it woukd shift it from its place.

His apprehension was still obvious when you turned back around to show him how it looked on you but his eyes lit up at the sight of it, meeting your gaze just in time for you to lean in and kiss him again.

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