#my mood is directly linked to the temperature

[ionomycin]

Maiden of Light

[discountdemonwarehouse]

Kinktober 2024, Prompt 3

Prompt 3 - Temperature Play

Terzo and my OC Vinnie from Messing with the Missionary Man deal with broken AC on a hot summer day

Contains ice play, light Dom/sub overtones, biting/nipping, vaginal fingering, a spank/slap.

AO3 Link or

Read below the cut!

         The Ministry’s AC was broken and it was a record heat day. Siblings and Clergy alike were coping with the heat as best they could. Some fled outside to the lake or fountains, others to the lower basement levels below ground where the air was naturally cooler. Those who liked the heat were enjoying the sun, with regular reminders to hydrate and cool down. Others had taken to their own spaces, lying in front of fans. This is what Vinnie had opted for, deciding if she needed to be miserable because of heat, she would at least be naked. She was sprawled naked on the bed, a fan behind a bucket of ice pointed directly at her when Terzo found her. “We could go to Edinburgh,” he grumbled, “I think the flat’s air conditioning is working.” “It’s still a construction site, isn’t it?” Terzo grunted in reluctant agreement, pulling his tie off and starting to undress. “You better not be planning on stealing my fan,” she said with a glare. “I’ll fucking fight you.” “Why don’t you shapeshift so you take up less space then so we can share, hm?” Terzo gave her a little shove before he pulled his shirt off. “Rude ass motherfucker.” She muttered as she moved over. “ I’m the rude one?!” “Mm, mhm,” she mumbled. As Terzo’s bare back was exposed, Vinnie lobbed an ice cube from the bucket at him. He yelped in surprise, finding himself pelted with more pieces. “Vincencia!” he snarled, spinning around. “What?” “I am in no mood.”

         Vinnie slumped back onto the bed, adjusting her position to take the prime spot in front of the fan again. “Grumpy pants,” she muttered, throwing one more piece of ice. Terzo stilled, a growl building in his chest as he turned slowly to face her. “You’re being a fucking brat,” he informed her sternly. “And brats need to cool their antics.” His eyes stared her down, and he threw the shirt aside and stalked to the bed. “Oh shit,” she breathed, scrambling to get off the other side of the bed. “No, no, no! You stay right there!” He snarled as his hand closed around her ankle and yanked her back. “Terzo!” she shrieked, trying to tug her ankle free. “You know your safeword,” he hissed, mounting the bed behind her.          Vinnie squirmed as Terzo straddled her thighs, one hand firmly in the middle of her back. “I don’t think this is going to help us cool down, you know.” “We’ll see about that, won’t we gattina ?” he murmured in her ear as he leaned over her, grabbing a handful of ice from the bucket. “Terzo, we can discuss–” Her words turned into a hiss of surprise as the handful of ice was dropped on her back. Her squirming caused the ice to slide across her skin, some sliding off and under her, chilling her breasts and belly. The air from the fan hit the trails of water and sent goosebumps across her skin. Terzo’s hand pressed the remaining ice against her skin, sliding it up her back, across her shoulders, and back down towards her hips and butt. Vinnie shivered, squirming more as Terzo’s mouth followed the trail of melted ice, leaving heated kisses and nipping at her skin. A whine left her as his hand slid down her ass cheek to between her thighs, the chilly fingers stroking her intimately. “Definitely still fired up, aren’t you, brat?” He teased softly, letting a finger stroke her clit.

         He didn’t wait for a response before his hand left her cunt, reaching for more ice. The next piece teased along her neck and ears, causing her to shiver and her nipples to harden more. Tracing the base of her neck and along her pulse, Terzo let the ice melt from her body heat, the cool water dripping down her body. Before taking the next bit of ice, he made her roll over. Vinnie watched him pop the ice in his mouth, but was quickly distracted by his fingers finding her nipples, rolling them firmly. She groaned softly, her hips lifting into his legs around her. “Terzo,” she gasped out. “Hm?” he asked, brow raised. Her eyes closed as he pinched her nipple hard. “Fuck.” “Mm.” Vinnie felt him move, and his mouth replaced his fingers. Cold and warm surrounded her; his mouth was cooled by the ice he’d sucked on, but still held some warmth. The remainder of the ice cube, however, was just cold. She groaned, back arching, wishing she could grind against him.

         Soon her other nipple was given the same treatment, and she squirmed under him. “Please…” she breathed quietly. “Uh-uh,” he mumbled, lips still locked on her nipple. “Please!” He broke away long enough to speak. “Brats don’t get what they want. Brats get discipline.” “Isn’t that what they want half the– Ow!” She yelped as his teeth closed sharply on her nipple. He tugged firmly, then moved his mouth across her flesh, trailing bites towards her other breast. The rattle of ice reached her ears as he grabbed more, pressing it firmly against her nipple, circling it down her breast and following the trail his mouth had made. A whine left her as his hand dragged the ice down her torso, his mouth still locked on her nipple. “Unnn, no…” she moaned in protest as his fingers slid the ice over her pussy lips. “No?” He murmured. “Should I leave you hot and bothered? The purpose of this was to cool you down.” “Liar,” she breathed as he dropped the ice and slid his fingers into her. He chuckled as she bucked against him, curling his fingers to perfectly torment her. “God fucking damnit…” She grit out. “We’ve had this discussion – God can’t help you here.” He grinned at his own joke. “Terzo!” She whined, grimacing at the joke. “All right, all right.”

         His fingers worked her into a further frenzy, and he moved so he wasn’t straddling her, free hand working his belt open. “Have you learned your lesson, brat?” he teased affectionately. “Never,” she whispered breathlessly, smirking a little. “Typical for you,” he rolled his eyes playfully. “Guess I’ll just have to keep trying.” “Hurry up and get naked,” she snarked. “There’s still ice if you plan to be bossy,” he said pointedly, pressing his fingers into her g-spot. She grunted in pleasure before responding. “If you use all the ice on me there won’t be any for the fan to blow over.” “I will carry your bratty ass into the shower and douse you with ice cold water if you keep sassing me.” “You’d throw out your back, old man.” Vinnie yelped as Terzo’s free hand slapped her thigh. “I’ll show you an old man.” “Mm, please do,” she smirked as he moved off her to finish stripping. There would still be a cool shower in their future, but not before they shared the fan.

[carmichael-psychology]

5 Surprising Sleep Tips from a Clinical Psychologist

For those with demanding careers and busy minds, getting a good night’s sleep can feel like a never-ending challenge. The usual advice—like taking a warm shower before bed, limiting screen time, and cutting off caffeine early—are helpful, but sometimes they’re just not enough. In this post, I’ll share some of my favorite sleep hacks that go beyond the basics to help you wind down and get the rest you deserve.

1. Use Your Smart Home Device to Nudge You into Sleep

Smart home devices like Alexa can do more than just play music or set timers—they can also help you establish a bedtime routine that feels personal and comforting. By programming your device to say your name (which our brains are naturally wired to respond to), you create a gentle nudge that reminds you how important sleep is. For instance, my Alexa is set to say, “Chloe, time for bed. Your sleep is important,” every night at 9 p.m. After that, it plays relaxing audio that I’ve pre-selected—sometimes it’s soft piano, other times rainforest sounds, depending on my mood or even the season.

You can mix up your audio choices to keep things feeling fresh or stick to one that you find particularly soothing. The key is consistency—your device becomes a cue that signals your brain it’s time to wind down, making sleep feel less like a chore and more like a rewarding routine.

2. Use a REM-Friendly Sleep Mask

Eye masks can be a game-changer for signaling bedtime to your body, and many people find the gentle pressure of a padded mask to be soothing. However, not all masks are created equal—some press directly on your eyelids, which can inhibit REM sleep since your eyes need to move freely during this crucial stage of sleep.

I recommend using a REM-friendly sleep mask that allows your eyes to move without restriction, like the one linked here. This simple adjustment can help enhance your sleep quality by ensuring you’re not inadvertently disrupting your natural sleep patterns.

3. Program Your Phone to Go Grayscale Every Evening

Let’s face it: avoiding your phone before bed is easier said than done, especially when you’ve got important emails or last-minute messages to send. But staring at a bright, colorful screen can keep your brain wired when it should be winding down. A simple but effective trick is to set your phone to automatically switch to grayscale from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. This removes the color and bright stimulation that keeps us glued to our screens.

With the color drained, your phone suddenly becomes far less enticing for endless scrolling, impulse shopping, or mindlessly watching shorts. It’s a small adjustment that can have a big impact on helping you reclaim your evening and prioritize your sleep. Remember, app developers and tech companies have designed their products to capture as much of your time and attention as possible. This simple grayscale hack is a great way to regain control over your nighttime habits—and your sleep.

4. Control the Temperature of Your Bed

Many driven people tend to "sleep hot"—it's like they're burning with energy. Women in menopause can also experience night sweats, and some people struggle with chills. Controlling the temperature of your bed can make it easier for your body to experience "sensory takeover," where your body is enveloped in the delicious feeling of a perfectly comfortable bed. As a former yoga teacher, I believe the body-mind connection helps to calm the mind when the body is experiencing a strong tactile signal to relax.

One effective way to control your bed's temperature is with a product like the BedJet, which uses warmed or cooled air blown into a special top sheet to regulate your bed’s temperature throughout the night. For couples with different temperature preferences, BedJet offers an optional sheet with dual compartments and preprogrammed biorhythmic temperature programs for men and women. You can use their options or create your own—it’s pretty cool, and my sleep has improved dramatically since getting one.

While the BedJet can be pricey, investing in quality sleep can pay great dividends, and Amazon's return policy is quite generous if it doesn't work out for you. If a BedJet is out of your price range, consider ensuring your room thermostat is set to cool in the evening (most people sleep best in a cool room) and try using a weighted blanket to help your body settle down.

5. Calm Racing Thoughts with a Simple Routine

Many clients say that when they lay down to sleep, they often have racing thoughts. They try to block them out, but the thoughts are intrusive and "won't shut off." If this happens to you, try keeping a pen and paper by your bed and writing down any thoughts before you go to sleep. This sometimes helps your brain to relax and "offload" any pressing thoughts.

If more thoughts arise after you lie down, try one of two things:

A) Write them down with the intention of revisiting them tomorrow when you're fresh and rested—sometimes thoughts are repetitive because they're important. If you want to try this, make sure to keep a pen and paper on your nightstand—don’t “write” on your phone. Your phone cues your brain to start thinking actively about all the websites and apps inside it, and we all know that the LED screen can be very stimulating. Just keep a simple pen and paper to jot a few basic thoughts before getting back to sleep.

B) If the thoughts don't seem important and it's just your brain having a hard time settling down, try a tip from my book, Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety: Silently repeat to yourself, "The most productive thing I can do right now is sleep. The most productive thing I can do right now is sleep." For people who thrive on productivity, settling in for sleep can be a challenge—this simple thought replacement technique can help your brain focus on the productive value of sleep.

A similar strategy is to tell your Alexa or smart device to play a podcast or audiobook so that you can drift off with your eyes closed while giving your "inner monologue" something light to focus on rather than letting your mind churn on more active thoughts about your day.  While I mostly listen to music or a podcast, I have occasionally used products from a company called Hypnosis Downloads– I don’t really think of them as true hypnosis, to me they are more like guided imagery meditation…. But whatever you call them, they have been helpful to me:)  Here is one of their downloads on insomnia.

Ready to Sleep Better?

If these tips resonate with you and you'd like to work on improving your sleep—or any other area of your mental health—feel free to contact my office. We offer therapy and coaching services tailored to your needs, whether you’re looking to manage anxiety, improve relationships, or simply get more restful sleep.

Disclaimer: This blog may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through the link, at no additional cost to you. These commissions help support the content I create and allow me to continue sharing helpful tips and advice—and of course, they make it easy for you to find the exact products I mention, if you'd like. To see my Amazon store, go to www.drchloe.com/amazon. The ideas shared in this blog are for informational and entertainment purposes only. They should not be considered medical advice or a substitute for any medical treatment. See your doctor if you have any concerns that seem beyond self-help.

[cuddlepilefics]

Right here

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Jisung

Caregivers: Chan & Minho

Prompt: Sneaky temperature check @sicktember

No one’s POV.:

Jisung had started feeling off only a little after having lunch with his group. Maybe it was the food not sitting right but whatever it was, it certainly took a toll on the rapper’s mood. Earlier that day, he had fooled around with his friends, being full of energy, but the longer the day progressed, the quieter he became. The slight discomfort he had felt in his stomach earlier had turned into a painful ache that made it hard for Jisung to find a comfortable position in his seat. The entire group was currently at the studio recording but unlike usual, the rapper wasn’t really in it with his whole heart. Usually, he’d give his friends encouraging smiles and advice on how they could do better but today, he was quiet, only speaking when he was asked something. The same couldn’t be said for his stomach though, which often decided to gurgle loudly when everything around him was silent. “That really didn’t sound good, you sure you’re feeling alright?”, Chan frowned, sitting next to Jisung and hearing the younger’s stomach rumble angrily. Patting his tummy, Jisung laughed: “I feel fine actually. My tummy’s just really noisy right now.” It was only partly a lie. His stomach was indeed noisy but to be honest, he didn’t feel fine at all. The pain was only getting worse and all his attempts of playing it off had exhausted the rapper. He was ready to just go home and curl up in his bed. At least that was what he intended to do as soon as they were done here.

Towards the end of their recording session, he had had to excuse himself to the restroom multiple times, feeling increasingly queasy. However, when he got there, the feeling eased up, so he just stood there rubbing his tummy and taking deep breaths before going back to the studio. When he returned from his last trip, his members had already packed and only waited for him, so they could head back to the dorm for dinner. Jisung cringed at the thought of having to eat anything but knew he didn’t have much of a choice if he didn’t want to admit to feeling sick. Had he thrown up at all, he would probably open up to his members but since it was only a stomach ache up to this point, he’d rather handle it on his own. The ride back to the dorm was straining to say the least, as every turn of the road caused his stomach to slosh nauseatingly. Staring out of the window, Jisung rested his head against the cool glass and took deep breaths through his nose as he fought to keep his stomach in place. Cold sweat was running down his back as he flashed hot and cold.

By the time they made it to the dorm, the rapper’s shirt was sticking to his back and he unsteadily stumbled out of the vehicle, relieved to be on solid, unmoving ground again. Minho watched him stumble and linked their arms to steady his dongsaeng. Though Jisung wouldn’t admit it, he was extremely grateful for the support, not sure he would have made it up to the dorm on his own. He had to resist the urge to crouch to the ground and cradle his poor tummy when a cramp twisted his abdomen. Minho tried his hardest not to let the worry show, hearing the rapper’s pained gasp. He just hoped the boy would speak up about what was bothering him. The dancer also noted, that Jisung had gotten progressively paler over the course of the afternoon. At this point, he was certain the younger was sick but if he was, why wouldn’t he say anything?

At the dorm, Jisung made a beeline for his room, plopping down on the edge of his bed and hugging his cramping middle. It was a mystery to him how he could go from feeling perfectly fine this morning to being this miserable now. “Hey, are you okay, hyung?”, Jeongin frowned, entering their shared room. He had intended to get the older to join them for dinner but was taken a back when he found the rapper basically folded over his lap, hugging his stomach. Jisung nodded, flinching when he forced himself to sit up straight. The maknae wasn’t buying it but decided not to press on the topic, merely stating: “Dinner’s ready and Chan wanted me to get you.” – “O-Okay, ‘m coming”, the older muttered, struggling to his feet only to pale further. The room was spinning and he swayed for a moment before regaining his balance. Jeongin watched him closely, his brows furrowed. Something wasn’t right with his hyung at all. Joining their members for dinner, Jisung cringed at the smell of food. His stomach churned painfully and sweat dripped down his temple. How was he supposed to get through this without throwing his dinner right back up? The members had compiled a wide variety of food, partly left-overs from the previous day and partly take-out that the members, who finished recording first, picked up. Praying he would somehow be able to stomach it, Jisung settled for a small serving of plain rice as he considered it his safest chance.

The members knew Jisung was sick, from his odd behavior to his dinner choice to the tiny amount he ate. The rapper may have thought he was hiding his discomfort alright but anyone who knew him could tell something was up. Worried about their friend, they wanted to know what was going on, so they’d be able to help but knowing he would deny everything if they asked him directly, they just tried to push him to admitting it. It started with Chan scooping more rice onto Jisung’s plate, claiming: “I don’t want you to get hungry for midnight snacks during the night.” Jisung didn’t know how he did it but somehow, he managed to finish all of it, fully aware that he’d come to regret that decision later on. When they cleared the table, Felix hugged him from behind, feeling the rapper tense up in his arms. It took all of Jisung’s willpower to not throw up right there and he struggled to quickly remove the Aussie’s arms from his sensitive middle. He was just about to flee back to his room, when Minho pulled him to the living room. “We hadn’t had a movie night in such a long time and we don’t have to get up all that early tomorrow, so let’s have some quality time”, the dancer beamed, dragging his dongsaeng to the couch. “Hyung, I’m sorry but I’m really tired. I think I’ll just go to bed”, Jisung frowned, trying to get come up with some reason why he couldn’t spend more time with the group. Minho smiled and made the younger sit down next to him on the couch, promising: “You can lay on my lap. It’s no problem if you fall asleep halfway through but I really missed you, so please…”

Jisung really couldn’t bare hurting his hyung’s feelings, so he let himself be talked into watching a movie with the rest of the group. Taking Minho up on his offer, he had his head on the dancer’s lap, while the older played with his hair. Maybe it had been the right decision because it distracted him from his pain enough to fall asleep. When Minho was sure Jisung was out completely, he whispered: “Chan-hyung, could you get me a thermometer? His face feels pretty warm. The forehead one would be best because the ear one would probably wake him.” – “On it”, the leader agreed, quietly getting up and collecting the thermometer from the bathroom. When he returned, Minho had already brushed Jisung’s bangs out of his face to allow the oldest easier access to his forehead. Chan carefully approached them and quickly took his dongsaeng’s temperature, detecting a moderate fever. Just when he pulled the thermometer away, Jisung’s stomach gurgled loudly, confirming their suspicions further. “We should really get him to bed”, Chan sighed, “Can you help me, Min?” The dancer nodded and got up as soon as Chan had picked the rapper up from the couch. Minho went ahead, opening the door to Jisung’s room and folding back the blanket. They tucked their dongsaeng in and closed the door, so he could rest undisturbed.

The next time Jisung woke up, it was already after midnight. The dorm was dark and quiet, the members all except for Jisung sleeping soundly. At first, the rapper was confused as to what had woken him at such an early hour. Flushing hot, he felt his stomach twist and quickly pushed off the blanket. Jisung staggered to the bathroom, one arm protectively wrapped around his middle, as he fought off the nausea. He squinted, blinded by the bright bathroom light, feeling disoriented as he crashed to his knees in front of the toilet. A harsh but unproductive retch tore from his throat, making the boy shudder at the thought of what was to come. Sweat trickled down the rapper’s back as he knelt there, swallowing convulsively. He couldn’t be sick. Jisung crossed his arms over the toilet bowl and rested his forehead on them, drawing a shaky breath through his nose. He hated throwing up, so much so, that he was determined to fight it off with every ounce of energy he might have left. Another cramp had him cry out in pain, quickly silencing himself by biting his lip. He couldn’t wake anyone else up. In a desperate attempt to get some relief, Jisung slipped his hand under his shirt, gently drawing circles with his palm. He could feel the upset organ churn under his hand as his mouth started to water even more. Squeezing his eyes shut, he gagged hard, relieved when nothing came up. There was no way he’d let this happen.

Waking up to an empty room, Jeongin waited ten minutes for his roommate to come back. When he didn’t, the maknae decided to search for Jisung. He spotted light under the bathroom door and gently tapped his fingers against the wood. When there was no answer, he quietly opened the door and found the missing rapper curled up on the rug. Though he was asleep, his brows were furrowed in pain as his forehead glistened with sweat. Knowing this wasn’t good, Jeongin went to wake up Chan, who was up in an instant when his dongsaeng explained what was going on. “Why don’t you sleep here, Innie? I’ll take care of Jisung but you don’t need to lose more sleep, so I’ll just stay in your and Jisung’s room, okay?”, the leader offered. Still feeling sleepy, Jeongin nodded and got comfortable in Chan’s bed, while the older went to check on the sick rapper. He found the boy curled up on the bathroom rug, just like Jeongin had described and he really didn’t look good. Jisung’s face was way too pale for Chan’s liking and his bangs clung to his sweaty forehead. Not having the heart to wake his dongsaeng, he carefully brushed his hair out of his face and placed his palm across his forehead, shocked to find it burning.

Just as he was contemplating how he was going to get Jisung back to bed without waking him, Minho stumbled into the bathroom. He didn’t know what had woken him but was soon certain it had been his intuition, telling him his dongsaeng wasn’t doing too well. “Hyung?”, he questioned, startling Chan, “What’s going on?” – “I don’t know. Innie found him like this and I was just about to get him back to bed”, the leader sighed. They were both startled when Jisung curled up further, whimpering in pain. Minho knelt down next to him and nudged his shoulder, frowning: “Sungie, hey? What’s wrong?” – “Stomach’s killing me”, the younger muttered, still half-asleep. “Did you throw up?”, Chan asked as the rapper became more awake. Jisung shook his head, admitting: “Felt like it but didn’t.” Sitting up, he drew his legs closer to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. Taking a closer look at him, now that the boy was awake, Chan frowned: “How long have you felt like this?” – “Hm, kinda started after lunch. Might have eaten something wrong”, Jisung mumbled, closing his eyes again. Minho ran a comforting hand down the rapper’s back, cringing in sympathy when he felt how sweat-soaked his shirt was. “Sung, I don’t think it has anything to do with what you ate”, the dancer hummed, “You’re running quite a temperature, so I think you must have caught some kind of bug. Do you feel ready to go back to bed?” – “’m so tired, I think I’ll just sleep here on the floor”, the younger refused, keeping his eyes closed. While Minho tried to convince Jisung to go back to his room, Chan sighed: “Oh dear! I’ll grab the puke bucket and thermometer.”

After lots of convincing, Minho helped Jisung to his feet, only to have the boy bend over, hugging his middle as his stomach cramped up again. “It’s okay, just try to breathe through the pain”, the dancer hummed, resting his hand on Jisung’s shoulder. The rapper shook his head urgently, choking out: “Hyung, I don’t feel so good.” Sighing, Minho was quick to get his dongsaeng situated on his knees in front of the toilet. He could tell the younger was fighting his hardest to keep it together but couldn’t help let a tear fall down his feverishly flushed cheek. “Sungie, just let it up. I’m pretty sure you’ll feel better after getting this over with”, Minho whispered, crouching down next to the rapper. Shaking his head, Jisung grit his teeth. “Come on, if it’s making you feel this bad, it would be better to get it out than keep it in you”, the older sighed but Jisung refused: “Don’ wan’ to. Hate it.” He instantly pursed his lips, barely able to swallow back a gag. “I know it’s no fun but I don’t think you’ll feel better like this, Sung. Just get it over with and I’ll help you back to bed, so you can sleep it off”, Minho promised, running a hand through the boy’s sweaty hair. Drawing in a shaky breath, Jisung pleaded quietly: “W-Will you rub my back?” – “Of course, I’ll rub your back”, the dancer whispered back, placing his hand on his dongsaeng’s damp shirt and gently stroking up and down his spine.

Assured by the presence of his hyung right beside him, Jisung’s resolve slowly crumbled. The next time his stomach clenched, he coughed up a large wave of his meager dinner. He was really glad he had settled for something bland to eat because he couldn’t bare tasting it again. Jisung didn’t have too much time to dwell on it, lurching over the bowl as more sick shot past his lips. He shuddered in disgust, feeling Minho squeeze his shoulder before going back to rubbing his back. Just as the next wave splattered into the bowl, Chan walked in to check on the two. He had waited in Jisung’s room after setting it up with a bucket, a bottle of water and a cup of tea on the nightstand. “Make it stop”, the rapper choked out before getting sick again. Minho calmly promised: “Just hang in there, it’s almost over.” Cooing at the dancer’s rarely showing protective side, Chan grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cool water. “Min’s right, you’re almost there, Sung. You’re okay”, the Aussie smiled, laying the cool cloth across Jisung’s neck. The boy only whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. He hated this.

After a while, it didn’t seem like he could bring anything else up, although his stomach still hurt. He just wanted to sleep. “Let’s go to bed”, Minho cooed, getting up to help Jisung up too. The younger only groaned, resting his head on his arms. He just wanted to sleep, no matter where. Patting the rapper’s back, Chan laughed lightly: “Come on, Sungie. Your bed is much comfier. I’ll even carry you there if you manage to stand up for a second.” Blinking at the leader with teary eyes, Jisung pouted but took both of his hyungs’ hands and let them pull him to his feet. With how dizzy he suddenly felt, he didn’t manage to stand for longer than a second but it was enough for Chan to scoop him up bridal-style and like he had promised, the leader carried him back to bed. “Do you want to have some water?”, Minho offered, uncapping the bottle for his dongaseng. Jisung frowned but accepted a few sips, just to wash away the taste. Sitting down on Jeongin’s bed, Chan reminded: “The bucket’s right next to your bed. Don’t hesitate to wake us up if you feel sick again, yeah?” Jisung nodded, curling up under his blanket. He was surprised when Minho climbed into bed behind him. The dancer knew he was taking a high risk but his heart ached for his sick dongsaeng, so he wanted to give him as much comfort as humanly possible. “It’s alright”, Minho whispered, slipping his hand under Jisung’s shirt, “Let me rub your tummy and try to get to get some rest. Hyungs are right here.”

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

Kaoru Ongaku to Hito Interview  May 2021

DIR EN GREY  Endless originality. Don't shake, don't move, don't give up. As the leader and main composer of DIR EN GREY,  he made me realize in this interview that even if the band is in a situation in which they can't move forward, they are still striving toward their own determination without losing sight of their desire to create music. The new single "Oboro" is a ballad with a simple sound envision that insists on the melody and lyrics. In this single, which was made with the intention of being widely listened, you can feel a different stance on the sounds and the arrangements. I think his obsession with music and the pursuit of originality are changing because of his age and career. On the other hand, the latest promotional photos are still grotesque and chaotic. The future this band is heading for it’s held by his unchanging desire for music. Here there is a dialogue with him which makes you believe so.

Notes before reading: This is Kaoru’s interview featured in Ongaku to hito music magazine May 2021.

You can get this magazine at cdJapan (totally worth it!) Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) -----------

Text by Higuchi Yasuyuki Photographs by Amita Mari Hair & make-up by Yamaguchi Atsushi_ EKYQ

“I’m not in the mood to say ‘let’s do this now’ but recently,  making astounding/ crazy songs might be difficult”

(While turning over the latest issue ...)  Kaoru: Did M-AGE make a come back? 

*M-AGE is a Japanese electronic pop/rock band active during the early 90s. They were feature in the previous issue of Ongaku to hito, April 2021* -Are you affected by that band? (laughs). Kaoru: I was surprised (laughs). -A band that disbanded more than 20 years ago did a comeback, there are another band that the drummer who has been a member for 20 years has left, there have been various things happening (in the music industry) in the past year, but DIR EN GREY has not lost to Corona. K: When it comes to losing, there is nothing you can do about it. - What do you think is the reason why these five people are continuing, without stopping, as a band? K: Isn't it because every one of us think we can’t go beyond this band? If someone gives up, we are not confident we can do something better than what we are doing now. It’s like, we can't get away from each other. It's easier to express your opinion if you keep a certain distance in that sense, and you don't have to accumulate stress about it. -By the way, throughout this year you noticed things and had some thoughts about the band. K:  That’s right….well, since the creation process was originally done remotely, I rarely had the opportunity to meet with the members other than the tour, but in reality it was important to have casual conversations with the members during the tour. There was a moment when the ideas changed depending on the words I exchanged with the members on the spot like “we should try to make this kind of song”… But it was a year when I was making songs without this input, so  it’s like there was  a part of me that felt gloomy. -You felt the importance of talking with the members. K: Even if we communicate remotely, we can just communicate by voice or text but, the mood/situation, the temperature, facial expressions etc…that can only be perceived directly so I thought those things are important after all. -In that situation, did the band make a song that only can be made now or tried to aim for something in your work?

K: That’s not case. It was as usual. We are not in the mood to do something like that now. However, it has nothing to do with this situation but we talked about how recently  it’s becoming harder to make crazy songs. -A crazy song? K:  When the band tries to create a song, naturally it turns out quite relaxed/calm. It feels like it’s what our bodies want. -Why do you want that kind of thing? K: I think that kind of songs makes you feel good, isn’t it? If we want to make a song like “Gya!” (fierce), we can make it but if we do it naturally, there will be more calm/relaxed songs. In other words, our previous single (digital single ‘Ochita koto no aru Sora) was a song we made with the intention of creating something fierce. -Intentionally, you made a fierce song. K: So, there was a talk about what kind adjustments should be done. We did it this time as well, but for now we are not thinking too much about it. Originally, ‘ARCHE’ (album released in 2014) was an album that was closer to that feeling. I just tried to do things I liked. There were a lot of slow and calm songs, but maybe it's easier to come up with such songs these days. -That’s why you can’t let yourself go with your natural flow… K: That’s right. So, the next album ('The Insulated World') was shaken off in the opposite direction. Of course, there are still intense/fierce songs coming out from the members. However, the songs everyone selects and remains in the top ranks are generally calm/relaxed. - 'Oboro' is a song that was born in such a situation. K: There was a talk about this single like ‘let’s make it easy for people who listen to DIR EN GREY for the first time, having an easy-to-understand melody”, so this song became a single. -Why did you decide to go in that direction? K: Somehow, we thought there are quite a lot of people who only know the name DIR EN GREY these days, but don't know what kind of music we are playing. Then, we feel like trying to make it easy for such people to get into us. So, I think it's quite challenging for us. -You are not really a band that “goes outside”. But also this song,  it’s a song that can be classified as a ballad in DIR EN GREY. K: It’s the kind of song we usually would keep for the album. It’s also interesting to dare to release it as a single. -It’s certainly a relaxing song and the variety of sounds is small, so it seems easy to approach but the latest promotional photos….(laughs) I was like “what’s your intention?”. K: Fufufufu (laughs) -But it looks like because of those photos the door is going to be closed before they listened to your music (laughs). K: That's why it's not that simple, like the sound or the tone of the song is intense or not. The song is like this, but this band is actually called ‘fierce’. -You mentioned earlier it  may be a matter of age, but the taste of music changes just as the taste of food changes when you get older. K: That's right. -So, recently, I feel this band doesn't try to resist such changes so much, or like you have started to project a realistic/true-to-life self into music. K: By all means, it looks like we became adults, right? -That’s why I’m familiar with it because we are from the same generation, it just fits. You can listen to it and enjoy a song with faint sounds instead of roaring ones. K: That's right. Simply, this kind of song is the one that roots in me. For example, the synthesizer-like sound that comes out first. -The intro with a synthesizer-like sound? K: That's right. That's my roots, originally I liked  the New Wave and listened to it, so I tried to create  what I was waiting for. *New wave is a broad music genre that included numerous pop and rock styles from the late 1970s and the 1980s* -But I think DIR EN GREY was the kind of band in which the roots of each member weren't projected in that way. K: After all, if five people do it, chemical changes will occur and the result will be completely different. But lately, the things I created haven't changed much, and sometimes they reach the end point. Of course, it's arranged in detail, but for this song, it's pretty much the same shape than at the beginning. -So, I got the impression it was a song that was unlikely to be done by DIR EN GREY until now. K: Maybe if we tried to keep it for the album, the arrangement would have been different. Because it’s a single, maybe I tried to listen to the melody. -In other words, it doesn’t feel like DIR EN GREY. K: Yes, if you listen to it with your existing values/sense of values, you might think it's not like DIR EN GREY. But this time we wanted to do that. That’s why when the president of our label listened to the demo first, said something like ‘This, isn’t it a bit insufficient/unsatisfactory?’ the reply was ‘No, that’s not the case’ (laughs) -Ahahahaha K: So, I think it's a new type of song. But just because this song seems to happen once in a while, the other songs are going to change steadily due to chemical changes going on. "This new song isn't fierce or shocking. Certainly, you can listen to it smoothly but actually….” -Then, I have a question for you Kaoru, not for the band, but do you think your personality has changed a lot from 10 years ago? K: How is that in reality? - Specifically, "DUM SPIRO SPERO" that came out 10 years ago is your commitment and obsession/attachment. In other words, I think it's an album that is full of personality. So, this time 'Oboro' comes from your roots,In other words, it's a song that is full of personality. However, if you compare these two works, the contrast is so huge that you can't think they were made by the same person. K: That's not true. -Oh really? (laughs). K: That's not true (laughs). For me, both are the same me. -But as a listener, I get the impression that the music is exactly the opposite, or that it's completely different. K: Certainly it’s the exact opposite when you  are referring to a band called DIR EN GREY, but it’s not that different for me, rather, it’s connected. -What kind of connection do you have? K: The sound may be different, but the points we are focused are the same. Especially this time, it feels like we've created each sound in detail, so it's more like I'm playing with the precision of a machine inside rather than the outward appearance of the music. -I see. K: Anyway, the most particular thing about this song is the sound of the synthesizer at the intro  I mentioned earlier. I thought the sound at the beginning would determine everything in this song. - Since that kind of determination/passion has disappeared, I was wondering if it would be a song that would allow me to listen to the melody simply. K: That's not true. Is it natural to stick to that? For example, I bought a synthesizer,  and it makes interesting sounds so I tried to create something. But the preset sounds you got when you bought the synthesizer (Note: it's set in advance) don’t work for me. -Why not? K: You have to create your own original ones. Even if I think the preset sounds are are catchy the way they are, I dare to stick to my original ones. Otherwise I can't be satisfied. - I wondered if you had finally abandoned that kind of troublesome pickiness(laughs). K: I’m really picky about that (laughs). But I think that’s normal when you make music. Even commercial pop music can be really picky about it. -You're right. You're right. K: Because it was created with that detail,I think people who listen to it will say "Oh!".If it wasn’t created in that way, it won't convey anything, and if it's as simple as this song, it won't be interesting unless you are committed to it. That is why it is the same as "DUM ". -Surely, but what if you could make it smoothly without being so committed/picky about it? K: Sometimes it’s easy to create, still, it would be nice if it makes you feel something. -I agree. K: This new song isn’t intense or shocking when it comes to the music, so you can listen to it  smoothly, that’s why there is  something for sure that makes you go like  “this song!”. But in reality, there are several sounds, I’m just not trying to hear them properly. It sounds like something that makes you feel it, you can’t hear it clearly, but it’s there. It’s not something new, to stick to that kind that sound, but in that sense it might feel like different or new. -At first, I had the impression that it was new or something different from what I heard before , but that may be the result of your commitment, to the point  that you couldn't hear it. K: I don't know if the word "new" is correct, but now I want to create  in a way that makes easy to project ourselves, while blending  it with something that makes our guts/intestines stick out. If we can do that, I think it will be something different and interesting, like "DIR EN GREY is doing something interesting again". I feel like I'm exploring that aspect now. -We talked about age before but, Isn't this age the time to imagine something like the time remaining? Like taking it easy at this point…..that kind of idea. K: Rather the opposite. I don't know how long I'll be able to create something I'm compromised with, and whether if I will keep having this  energy or physical strength. I want to keep doing it as long as I can. I can only make music with what I have, so I'm not overdoing it in that sense, but I'm overdoing it in a different sense (laughs). You can't create it without straining yourself. -I see, you are not lying to yourself. K: Of course. However, if you rely only on yourself, it won’t beat your expectations. I don’t think that this will change, no matter how many things happen. Still, at last I started to think that our music has some power of persuasion. Do you think we can keep competing with just our music? -It's been like that for a long time. But this band is like asking for something impossible, it’s a band that won’t disappear. K: But isn’t it about creating things? -I agree. Is it still fun to create things? K: It's fun (laughs) -Immediate answer (laughs) K: If we can do it forever, I want to do it forever. There are a lot of difficult moments, but I really like it. -As long as these five people are able to share that feeling, this band will continue. K: I think so. It's okay as long as  I believe in myself and the members. -I see……your speech was  much worse than reading a bad self-help book (laughs). K: hahahaha

[sayonarasanity]

dandelion

summary:  Maybe, it was the fact that Levi was being a lesser bitch than usual recently, for almost four months actually and hell when he thought about it, Erwin was in fact relatively late to see the signs. But the signs were, to his credit, so transparent no one could blame him for not noticing them any time sooner. Because at first, he had believed that the reason why Levi was acting just a slightly bit kinder towards the people in the office, was perhaps the tea machine he had bought himself which was excellent at steeping tea and good tea always brought his spirits up. But now he suspects the reason might not be something that simple.

AO3

Erwin was quick to catch the signs.

The signs, however, were subtle also as fast to disappear. Like the bubbles on boiling water, there were plenty of them but only if you were observant and in Erwin’s case bored enough to catch them. And he didn’t even know if he was interpreting them correctly. Levi was, always had been quite a private man. Despite being friends with him for years there were still times he had to squint to pick up the altering lines of emotions on his face, or times he had to get him drunk for good for Levi to spill out what was bothering him lately. Fortunately, it wasn’t that hard to understand that something was in fact bothering him—he had a habit of being a bigger bitch than he already was at those times.

So maybe, it was the fact that Levi was being a lesser bitch than usual recently, for almost four months actually and hell when he thought about it, Erwin was in fact relatively late to see the signs. But the signs were, to his credit, so transparent no one could blame him for not noticing them any time sooner. Because at first, he had believed that the reason why Levi was acting just a slightly bit kinder towards the people in the office, was perhaps the tea machine he had bought himself, which was excellent at steeping tea and good tea always brought his spirits up. But now he suspects the reason might not be something that simple.

Apart from the tiny change in attitude, the first sign he caught was the umbrella or rather the lack of it.

“Morning,” he greeted as they both stepped inside the elevator. The rain had started simultaneously with the sunrise and hadn’t ceased since. It was a heavy one which caused the temperature to decrease a few degrees. And Erwin knew that this kind of weather was not Levi’s favourite. It was like the dark clouds were somehow linked to his mood, he was surprisingly fast to be affected by them, negatively. As an addition, he absolutely loathed being soaked and if he were to forget his umbrella or couldn’t find it before leaving the house then it was farewell to serenity for the day.

“Morning,” replied Levi, nodding and stood beside him as he pressed upon the button seven, leaving a drop of water slipping down through the buttons as he retreated his hand. And he combed his wet hair back, then used his hand to wipe the raindrops from his face which… didn’t work for both his face and his hand were almost equally wet. He must’ve walked the way from home to the subway then the way from the subway to work.

Erwin noticed that he had been staring not very subtly at Levi. “Forgot your umbrella again?” He asked, smiling to wipe the stupid look on his face.

Levi threw him a very brief glance and Erwin tensed involuntarily because here came the scolding. He was going to pay back trying to talk to a very soaked and a very grumpy Levi Ackerman—

“No.” Erwin blinked because he had actually answered and the tone of his voice was, well not the warmest of voices for sure, but it was at least neutral. “I lent it to a friend.”

“I see,” Erwin nodded, and the elevator stopped after seconds. And it was not until they both left the elevator, walk through the office and he chatted with colleagues on the way to his desk and hung his jacket then his umbrella that he noticed—

Yesterday, Levi had an umbrella.

It wasn’t raining yesterday but the weathercast on their phones was saying that it would start by the time they left work, hence Levi had come prepared, but it hadn’t rained. So, if he had lent it to someone it was either after work, which was unlikely, or it was this morning before he left for work.

Which meant, Erwin thought startlingly as he blinked at the soaked cloth of his own umbrella, that someone, his friend whoever they were, possibly had stayed the night. And the thing was just like how it was impossible to stop the raindrops in mid-air by mental force, it was just as unlikely for someone like Levi, who was so strict about his boundaries, and who had extremely firm rules about hygiene, to let a friend stay at his home. He didn’t even have that many friends, to begin with. Unless that friend was someone overly special, someone, whom he thought was worth flexing those boundaries. And through their years’ worth of friendship, Erwin had never encountered someone as such.

“No way,” he whispered, amused. He genuinely hoped that he wasn’t reading too much into it because Heaven knows he could use some fun especially if it was brought by famous Levi I-feel-nothing- Ackerman.

*

No matter how delightful to think it was, Erwin was not a man to jump to conclusions. The possibility of him making things up was obviously there, solidly. But it wasn’t like he was going to give up that easily. Gingerly, while trying hard not to expose himself, he followed the tell-tale hints as much as he could. Hints like him being more laid back, his features being more relaxed replacing the ever-present scowl every now and then. He was also somewhat absent at times and was looking at his phone more frequently than usual.

Levi was a firmly shut chest and not everyone had the key to open him. And contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t a mean person per se. He was simply a little cold, distant and didn’t like to accept everyone in his life easily. Such demeanour was to be misinterpreted, rightfully so. But Erwin kind of saw it as a defence mechanism, plus for someone like Levi who had a complicated background, it was to be understood. To be honest, he was one of the nicest, tactful and merciful people Erwin had ever met and also the only one who had the ability to masterfully hide that softer side of him.

Yet, as the clues dropped bit by bit Erwin realized that recently he wasn’t that good at hiding it.

He was coming back from the kitchen having refilled his cup with fresh coffee just yet when he saw Levi sitting at his desk, his back facing him. Erwin’s desk was the one in front of Levi’s, just behind the divide that separated them. He took a sip from his coffee; the hot liquid burned his tongue, and the stream brushed his cheeks. And just as he lowered the cup and gulped down the coffee in his mouth, realizing that it wasn’t actually that fresh, he saw it.

The faint, barely visible, ghost of a smile on Levi’s lips while looking at something on his phone.

Erwin blinked a couple of times to make sure that it wasn’t the fog of the coffee that was playing with his vision. Then focused on his friend’s face to get a better look at it. It wasn’t like Levi never smiled, he did. Occasionally. But they were generally mocking, or amused, or belittling, and very rarely sneaky smiles. Not like this one which was curling the tips of his mouth upwards in an almost… oh, I’ll be damned, Erwin thought but it was clear as day, it was in an almost affectionate way.

As if noticing his shocked gaze, Levi locked his phone and just like that the tiny smile was gone, replaced by the regular scowl and blank stare. Hence, closing his mouth Erwin walked closer and sat down on his desk. Then placing his cup on top of the desk he looked at Mike, who was sitting next to him and was furiously typing on his keyboard. Yet, when he did notice his stare, he threw Erwin a questioning look along with a raised brow. But Erwin simply shook his head and got his attention back to his work.

Not yet.

*

The third and final sign which managed to persuade Erwin at the end was the phone call.

He was about to take a smoke break on the terrace when he saw Levi talking on his phone. Erwin wasn’t the type to listen to people’s conversations. He had very strict moral rules about the whole respect the privacy issues. But he was extremely bored and getting a little impatient about learning exactly what was going on with Levi—surely a simple way like directly asking him would solve his problem but he would very likely gain nothing with that. If Levi had wanted, he would have told him months ago.

So, he accidentally happened to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Use the shower too,” he was saying when Erwin stood behind him near enough to hear but far enough not to be noticed. “I don’t want you to get my furniture dirty.”

He couldn’t hear what the person on the other end of the line was saying. He eyed Levi who was drawing a breath from his cigarette at the moment and put one between his lips as he watched cautiously. Levi then blew out the smoke and pinched his nose, seemingly irritated. “No,” he said. “No, dumbass. How many times do I have to tell you? Put the whites and blacks separately. Or best, don’t even touch the laundry. You’ll mess up my shirts.”

He tapped the end of his cigarette with his index finger causing the ashes to fly away with the wind. He listened to what they were saying for a while, drawing one or two breaths from the smoke he placed on his mouth. And when he turned his head a little to the side, Erwin saw that tiny, barely visible smile on his lips again. “Do it if you think you can. Just don’t burn my kitchen.”

Miracle. Had someone cast a spell upon him? He was offering his shower, his kitchen and almost his laundry to someone who was clearly not an expert on any of these things.

“Alright,” he said pressing the butt of the cigarette on the metal trash bin near him. “Will you stay the night?”

Erwin felt his brows shot upwards upon his question and he watched with even more shock the blush, the knots of red appearing on his cheeks. Blush! Had he accidentally stepped into an alternate reality?

“Dumbass,” he said once more, and Erwin caught it in his tone this time. Affection. “Stay. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Only when Levi left the terrace without even a glance at Erwin and the trace of the smile still more or less evident on his lips, Erwin realized that he had forgotten to light up his cigarette.

Erwin didn’t really like gossip. He usually saw it as a waste of time, and he was too busy to involve in such dialogues anyway. So, he made sure to stay clear from the drama as much as he could.

But this time it was different.

He blamed it on the brain-numbing, boring texts that he had to redact and edit, and do the same each day to the texts which so very rarely changed in context. Boredom, he declared, was the perpetrator of his actions.

“Mike,” he whispered during the lunch break. Levi had left alone, saying that he had other things to do. “Hey.”

“What?” Mike asked, not taking his eyes away from the screen of his phone, locked on the game he was playing.

“I think,” Erwin started, checking his surroundings to make sure no one was near them. “I think Levi is seeing someone.”

Mike’s fingers on the screen froze and his eyes slowly travelled from his phone to Erwin. It lasted merely a couple of seconds for him to snatch the air pod from his ear, pause the game and move his chair closer to him. “Tell me more.”

And so, Erwin did. He told him about the lent umbrella, the affectionate smile, the little hints he picked up and finally the phone call he had just witnessed. Mike listened to him, humming and caressing his beard with his hand thoughtfully.

“What do you think?” Erwin asked, wondering if Mike had taken the same impressions as him or it was just Erwin who was actually reading too much into things because of the boring office life he had.

Mike hummed again, bending his lips down and squinting. “You said you saw him smiling affectionately?”

“Yes.”

“Was it creepy?”

“Well, no. Not really.”

“That should mean something, man,” Mike said. “Maybe he brought a cat?”

“He cannot possibly talk to a cat on the phone, Mike” Erwin pointed out. “And lend it his umbrella.”

Mike nodded, agreeing. Erwin rolled his eyes. It wasn’t his fault that he had no one else to gossip about Levi. “Who could they be then?” He asked. “Do you think we know them?”

Erwin shook his head. He couldn’t think of anyone Levi would be interested in. He never properly talked to the people in the office in the first place. “I don’t know.”

“We should find out,” Mike sounded excited as he said so and Erwin relaxed upon realizing that obviously, his interpretations were not that far-fetched.

“How?” To be frank, he too was very curious about the identity of the person who somehow managed to bring the softer side of Levi out in the daylight. Then, putting his more rational part into action, he said, “We can just ask him though.”

“But where’s the fun in that, Erwin?” Mike laid his head backwards and threw him a very disappointed stare. “We need some action and some movement here. I’m selling my soul to this computer every day in exchange for very little money. Also,” he raised a finger, eyes illuminating playfully. “Man, what if he is in love? Hilarious.”

“He is not a robot, you know,” Erwin said, feeling the need to defend his friend.

Mike shrugged and leaned back, turning himself left and right on his seat, lost in thought. “A wedding would do,” he murmured to himself then snapped his fingers. “Nile!”

“What about him?”

“He is getting married this weekend?” He raised his brows at Erwin like he couldn’t believe how he forgot the fact that their old friend was getting married to his very first love.

“Yeah,” Erwin nodded, stopping himself from wrinkling his face as if he tasted something sour in his mouth. “Right.”

Mike put his elbow on his desk and rested his chin on his palm, watching him. “You plan on coming?”

“Sure.” Marie was a rusty and old memory he had left in the past which he would cherish for the rest of his life. But no matter the history he was happy for them both.

“If Levi comes, he might bring the mysterious significant other too, don’t you think?”

Erwin hummed, not a bad idea. “Yeah, actually.”

Mike grinned and stretched his long arms above his head. “Let’s wait and see.”

*

Levi came to the wedding alone.

Mike and Erwin silently exchanged glances between each other throughout the ceremony but didn’t dare to talk about it out loud. Levi was most of the time busy with his phone, typing. And when he wasn’t they chatted among themselves about work, finance, politics and sports but it never came to anything about the significant others which the two men obviously didn’t have.

Towards the end of the night, after bidding their farewell and congrats to the happy couple Mike offered to go to a bar to have a couple of drinks. Erwin accepted as he had nothing better to do anyway other than maybe starting The Office all over again. He seriously needed something that wouldn’t make him remember his work.

To their surprise, Levi accepted the offer too. And an even bigger surprise came after when the three of them got into Mike’s car to get to the place he had been nagging them about. “A friend of mine might join us later,” he said. “Would that be a problem?”

A quick, excited and wide-eyed exchange of looks with Mike later, Erwin replied, “Why would it be a problem?” He smiled at Levi who was sitting in the back seat.

“It would be great!” Mike exclaimed, and Erwin glared at him, warning. “Do we know them?”

“No, you don’t,” Levi replied curtly. And that was the end of the conversation.

The place Mike took them was freshly opened, clean and not so crowded. They settled on a seat near the window, ordering their drinks. Erwin could tell from the way Levi traced his eyes around the bright floors, polished marbles, and the altering lights that he had liked it.

“So, who is that friend of yours?” Mike asked, his eyes following Levi like a lion slowly getting closer to its prey.

“You’ll find out when she comes here,” came the brief and clear reply. Levi’s eyes were sharp as if indicating that he wouldn’t fall for any of his wordplays.

“You’re no fun,” Mike muttered with dismay as he raised his glass to his lips.

“Ask me if I care.”

“Do you?” Mike asked with an annoying smirk.

“Fuck off.”

“Sorry, I’m late!” A loud, cheerful voice interrupted their bickering. Then a slender, brown-haired woman sat down next to Levi. There was a smile blindingly wide on her lips, oval-shaped frameless glasses were a little slipped down on her nose, and the eyes behind the lenses were a light shade of brown, almost hazel. Her hair was sloppily tied, and the strands that covered her face looked smooth.

And under the curious gazes of the two men, she leaned forward to leave a peck on Levi’s cheek.

Levi coughed and flushed, then tried to hide it behind his glass, taking a long sip from his drink. “This is Hanji,” he said after putting the glass down on the table, but he had failed at wiping the redness away from his cheeks. “Hanji, this is Erwin and Mike. My co-workers.”

“Hanji Zoe,” she beamed at them as she extended her hand to shake their hands. “Levi told me a lot about you.”

“Oh?” Erwin couldn’t help but be somewhat taken aback.

“Well, on the contrary,” Mike spoke up, voicing Erwin’s confusion. “He never told us about you.”

Hanji glanced at Levi who raised a brow at them. “You never asked.”

Wait. Was it really that simple? Seriously? After all the detective work he had done and the passion he had put into it. “You would’ve told us?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s kind of new anyway,” Hanji said, wrapping an arm around Levi’s shoulders. Erwin noticed the slope of Levi’s body against Hanji’s as if he were gravitating towards her. “We’re still trying to get used to it.”

The body language told a lot, Erwin observed. “Seems like you already have,” he blurted and when he realized what he had said the words were already out and heard.

Thankfully, Hanji didn’t seem to have found his statement absurd. “Oh, you think so?” she giggled, and her cheeks coloured as she directed her eyes at Levi. And she hummed softly when their gazes locked. “Maybe.”

Her lips remained curled upwards on the corners, and Erwin couldn’t see the expression in both of their eyes and neither of them spoke, but he felt like words wouldn’t suffice for whatever had been exchanged between them in those short seconds. He watched as Levi’s lips tremble and move, shaping a smile that was so small and so barely apparent. Then he contemplated about how easy it was actually to see happiness in someone who very rarely let his emotions surface. Like dandelions emerging on their own through the mere lawn, right next to the concrete pavements.

“I kind of think it’s creepy though,” Mike whispered, leaning against him.

Erwin snorted amused and finished his drink.

[writingblackpink]

Coincidence (pt. 1)

genre: fluff (?)

word count: 3.6k

pairing: rosé x reader

Wherein your friend drags you out to dinner and you meet a familiar face....but is that all she is?

A/N: Hi :) Here’s another Rosé x reader I’ve had in the reserves for a while! A part 2 is in the works, but if you have any suggestions or ideas, drop them in my ask! Enjoy! 

-

You don’t even know why you’re here. You really, like REALLY, wanted to stay home and call it an early night after the week you’ve had. Your boss seemed to only speak to you to tell you you’d done something wrong, a pipe burst in you and your friend’s apartment causing the both of you to rearrange the furniture once (and then back again four days later once the landlord was able to get someone to fix it.), and to top it all off, you spilled coffee down your white blouse on the way in to work today and didn’t have time to go home to change so you sat in a coffee stained shirt in four meetings enduring your colleagues’ judgmental eyes while you tried to make light of the situation by making fun of yourself for spilling the coffee in the first place. It didn’t help at all - if anything, it just made your coworkers think you were even more strange than they already thought you were. Curse your caffeine addiction. Honestly, you probably need a new job, but that’s an issue for another day. Right now, you just want to be wrapped in a blanket in your cozy bed, blocking out the outside world and getting a good night’s rest but it just seems like nothing can go your way this week.

So, you’re here, in the passenger seat of your best friend’s car, face pressed against the window as you stare up at the city lights. You actually think it’s kind of beautiful, the neon on the signs above you mixed with the light mist on the window causing the color to soften and blur just a bit. The sounds of the bustling city muffled by the alt radio station your friend likes to listen to and the sound of the car driving through the rain kissed streets. It kind of looks like the tumblr moodboards you always see while scrolling your dash late at night. If you were creatively inclined at all you’d probably take out your phone for a picture to post to your small Instagram following, but then you remember that you don’t even want to be here so you’d rather wallow and pout for a bit longer.

“You look like a sad puppy with your face squished against the window like that,” your friend whines out. You peel your face away from the window and turn towards her, not missing the pout across her lips.

“I told you I don’t even want to go out.” You mumble back.

Your friend always has a way of making you do things you’d rather not. And it’s really not like you hate doing them. You do like her company after all and don’t mind spending time together regardless if you’re doing something you personally enjoy or not. Nine times out of ten, you actually enjoy doing whatever she drags you out to do, but you’d never say that out loud. At least not right now.

Tonight was different. She had mentioned that one of her coworkers that she has the tiniest crush on invited her to dinner except it’s not a date because her coworker was bringing a friend and she was bringing you. You tried to convince her to just go herself and tell her coworker she wants it to be a date, but that was more so because you REALLY did not want to go and not because you wanted or cared to see your friend happy. You did care for her happiness, just not in this particular moment. She caught on to the act pretty quickly and wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Just like every other time, you caved.

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” she said, looking at you with a wide smile and pleading eyes. “You always say you need to branch out and meet new people. This is a good opportunity to do so. I mean, you’ve had the same four friends forever. Expand your world!”

She did have a point. When you moved to the city together after college, she immediately met and made a handful of friends. Most of the friends you have currently are people you’ve met through her. It’s been over a year now and you still have yet to branch out. The more you thought about it, the more you were losing your resolve not to go.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go. You can stop pouting. But if this dinner is lame I’m SO calling myself an Uber and getting the hell out.”

You left it at that as she squealed and grabbed her keys, telling you that there were reservations soon and, oh, also that she’s only giving you ten minutes to get ready. You grumbled your way up to your room, cursing under your breath and immediately regretting agreeing to this mysterious dinner.

She pulls into a parking spot and cuts the engine on the car, abruptly stopping the soft sound of the radio and leaving you two in the silence with only the rhythmic tapping of rain drops sprinkling across the windshield. You get lost in the serenity of the moment before your friend rips you away.

“Hey, let’s go. We’re already like,” you follow her gaze to where she glances quickly at the time on her phone, “ten minutes late, thanks to you.” The last part muttered more softly and sarcastically than the rest.

You roll your eyes and go to unlatch the door, immediately letting the cool air slide into the car. It’s a brisk fall evening. Not too chilly, but the quiet mist falling from the sky mixed with the cool breeze makes you want to crawl back into the car and never come out. Goosebumps break out along your skin when the wind brushes against you. You really should’ve brought a jacket, you think. You round the car and your friend immediately links your arm with hers, happily swinging them back and forth.

“I’m so glad you decided to come out,” she says cheerfully, and put that way, you can’t deny that her happiness doesn’t also make you feel glad you decided to come out.

You step into the restaurant together, the change in temperature causing you to briefly shiver as you adjust to the warmth. It’s nothing too fancy, just a casual sushi place across town you’ve been to a few times. The place is modern and open, with tables scattered uniformly around the room. Definitely targeted to people your age. It’s moderately busy for a Friday night, but not too busy, which you appreciate. The last thing you wanted to do was spend the evening yelling at each other over the loud voices of strangers in a crowded restaurant. If you had to leave the house, you decided this was an okay place to be.

“How many in your party?” The server asks. You stay silent while your friend smiles politely and mentions that you’re actually meeting someone here, eyes already scanning the room. The server smiles and backs away, letting your friend search for whoever you’re both meeting.

“Ah, there they are!” She exclaims, her eyes lighting up as she pulls your hand and weaves in between tables to get to your destination. As you follow her gaze, your eyes land on a table with two women facing away from you, one blonde, one brunette. That must be them, you think to yourself.

As you get closer to the table, you hear a fit of laughter erupt from the blonde. The sound is familiar, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. The sound was so warm and inviting, maybe that’s why it seems familiar you think to yourself as you both continue moving towards the table. Your friend rounds the square table and who you believe to be her coworker looks over with wide eyes realizing who’s finally arrived.

“I’m so sorry, we would’ve been here on time, but THIS one took her sweet time getting ready.” She uses her thumb to point in your direction and you immediately scoff, of course going to defend yourself.

“Excuse you, you literally told me ten minutes before we had to leave that we were even coming here, so sorry that—“

“Anyways,” she cuts you off “what’s important is that we made it...eventually. This is my best friend Y/N. Y/N this is Ashley, my coworker.” You immediately hold your hand out for a handshake, but she grabs your wrist and pulls you in for a tight hug. In your peripheral vision you see the blonde facing your direction, but she’s slightly out of focus so you can’t tell if she’s actually looking at you or just in your direction.

“Any friend of Joy is a friend of mine.” And you think that this girl is a little too friendly for your liking. Not that you didn’t like affectionate people, it’s just that, you didn’t like affectionate people tonight.

As you pull away you glance over to the blonde, eyeing you like a piece of meat, eyes lidded and a small smirk gracing her features. She’s really pretty, you think for a moment. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders in waves, each strand perfectly in its place. You take a moment to admire the shape of her eyes, almost almond-like, but accentuated by the light smokey makeup look she was going for. She’s just wearing a simple top and jeans, just like everyone else here, but there’s something about her that captivates you. There’s something in the familiarity of her laugh, the warmth of her eyes that makes you think––

Realization hits you. You definitely know this woman. How, you can’t remember, but she seems to see that spark light inside you as your eyes widen slightly in her direction, and she immediately reaches her hand out to shake from across the table.

“Hi. I’m Rosie. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m so sorry, but have we met before?” You spew out, eyebrows furrowed and looking directly into her eyes before really thinking and she snaps back quickly in her soft voice with “Uh, no. I think I would’ve remembered a pretty face like yours.”

Smooth, you think sarcastically. You’re not really in the mood for cheesy one-liners and her lips ticking up in a closed-lip smile just makes it worse. She moves to shake your friend’s hand too and then her gaze lands back on you. She said she didn’t know you, that you two have never met, however the smirk and quick wink she gives you when the other two in your party divert their attention elsewhere tells you a different story. Sensing some weird tension, you feign a cough and divert your eyes to your chair, moving as everyone decides to take their seats.

As dinner progresses you make small talk with the group, just wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. No need to drag this out when your bed is waiting for you at home. Rosie keeps looking at you with admiration, and throughout the whole meal you’ve been wracking your brain to try and remember where you know this girl from. “Come on, Y/N, THINK.”

Just as you were about to decline on dessert and ask for the check, Ashley and Rosie ask for the dessert menu. The waiter brings over four menus and you sigh, giving in and scanning the items. The table has since gone silent in deliberation, and while you’re trying to decide on the cheesecake vs. the chocolate cake, you feel what you think is someone kicking you under the table. You brush it off as an accident and go back to scanning the menu. Except it happens again, and this time whoever is doing it lingers a little longer at your shin, and yeah, that’s a bare foot. You look up to find everyone else looking down, but you glare at Rosie sitting directly across from you just a moment longer. If only you can figure out where you know her from…

You brush it off a second time, not wanting to make a scene, but it happens a third time, and this time when you look up, you find dark eyes peeking at you suggestively over the menu and it suddenly feels like you’ve been hit by a truck. You’re starting to remember bits and pieces, but you can’t create a coherent memory.

A few weeks ago your friend had convinced you yet again to “let loose” and “have some fun” and go out with her and some other friends to some bar that had just opened. You may have gotten a little too loose, to the point where you can’t remember all the fun you actually had. You don’t even really like to drink all that much, you’re usually the designated driver, but there was something about this night that told you to throw all caution to the wind.

You remember getting into an Uber with your friends and heading to the bar. You remember having a few drinks. You remember meeting who you now know as Rosie at the bar, and then everything after that got fuzzier. You both spent some time whispering in each others’ ears in the darkest corner of the bar, drowning out the pounding of the music and the voices of strangers and their drunken dialogue, and you remember leaving with her and taking her to your apartment, but the next thing you remember is waking up in your own bed with a pounding headache and in nothing but an oversized t-shirt, water and pills at your bedside table and a post-it note left on your bedroom door with a “Had fun last night. Hope the hangover isn’t all that bad. Call me -xx”, followed by a phone number. For the life of you, you couldn’t remember the girl’s name, but you felt warm when you thought about the night before, so you added the number in your phone with the lip emoji next to it for no reason other than you wanted to remember the warm feeling that ignited when you thought of her.

Chugging the water and exiting your room late in the afternoon, Joy greeted you with a “So, you had fun last night, huh? I heard you bring someone home? I can’t believe it!” she teased you, “You are able to have a good time!”

You scoffed it off with a “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” rubbing your temples and trying to ignore the ringing in your ears and the blush rising in your cheeks. Your friend never pushed you more about it, and you were grateful for that. You didn’t really have much to tell her anyways.

You’re also not one to bring home pretty girls from bars, but, again, something about that night made you throw every inhibition you had out the window. Maybe it was Rosie herself (from what you can remember, you liked her), maybe it was the alcohol. You couldn’t know for sure and it didn’t really matter. It wasn’t something you regretted, but you also weren’t super proud of it.

You immediately feel heat rush to your face and you feel her foot move up your leg once again. Just as the waiter walks over to the table, you feel the heat in the tips of your ears and just know you won’t be able to make a viable excuse if anyone catches you blushing THIS aggressively. You shoot up out of your chair so suddenly that it draws the attention of everyone at the table, specifically noting how startled Rosie looks at you jolting away from her touch.

“Um, I’m, uh, going to go to the restroom. I’ll pass on dessert.” With that, you turn quickly on your heels and make a beeline for the restroom. As you make it halfway there, you faintly heard Rosie say that she’s going to make a pit stop as well and you hear her chair move as she rises to follow shortly after.

“Shit...shit, shit, shit,” you curse under your breath as you hurriedly make your way into a stall, trying to think of ways you can avoid this humiliation as much as possible. Your non-confrontational attitude causes anxiety to peak in your chest. That, combined with Rosie’s unpredictable actions tonight, has you feeling a bit light-headed. Your breathing shallows. As you’re pacing in the confined space, you hear the door open and close, but no movement. Is she….is she waiting for you?

You decide to take a deep breath and unlock the door, but you gasp when she immediately puts her hand on your shoulder and pushes you against the cool tile wall across from the stall. There’s no one besides you two in there, and you’re worried she can hear your heart basically beating out of your chest. Hell, YOU can hear your deafening heartbeat echoing in your ears.

She moves in like she’s going to kiss you and you immediately tense up. This was not what you were planning on happening when you agreed to dinner tonight. In retrospect, you really should’ve called the Uber as soon as your friend pulled into the parking lot.

You could feel Rosie’s breath on your lips and it was all too much for you. The way she was looking at you, eyes heavy and lidded and oh, so seductive - her scent, faint vanilla and lavender notes that wafted through your nostrils. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to push her away or pull her impossibly closer. You could feel yourself getting lost in everything that was just her and your eyes screwed shut as everything became too much.

You were surprised when she didn’t kiss you. Instead, you felt her lean towards your right side and bring her mouth so close to your ear it made you shiver. The arm that wasn’t on your shoulder moved to rest her palm flat on the wall next to your face. You opened your eyes, but you could no longer see her face. The hairs on the tip of your ear reach up to meet the warm breath fanning across it. You felt your breathing pick up the closer she got.

“Why didn’t you ever call me, baby? You have my number, right?” she whispers seductively, sending a tingle down your spine. It’s so silent, you almost didn’t hear her with how loud your heartbeat is thumping in your ears.

Just as you open your mouth to stumble out a reply, she takes your ear lobe between her teeth and gives it a playful bite. You let out an embarrassing whimper as she does so, feeling yourself immediately melt into her. As she’s pulling away, the door to the bathroom opens and Joy walks in, but stops in her tracks when she sees the two of you.

You both snap your heads toward the intruder. You’ll admit, you’re in a bit of a compromising position, and you can’t tell right now if it would’ve been better for a stranger or Joy to find you like this.

You clear your throat and fidget away from Rosie, straightening out your shirt and moving to the sink to wash your hands while clearing your throat again. Rosie walks past your friend in the mirror and out the door like nothing ever happened. After washing your hands, you also walk past your friend without saying a word, leaving her shocked in the bathroom.

You walk back to the table and find that Rosie has easily fallen back into conversation with Ashley, while you feel like there’s a permanent blush brushed across your features. You try to ignore that though, and join in the conversation just as Joy is making her way back to the table. She glares at you a moment, still confused, and even though you see her trying to get your attention, you ignore her and hope she just takes it as you being too immersed in the current conversation to notice.

The rest of the evening goes by smoothly. No suggestive touching or longing glances, but you’re now realizing that that was what made this dinner interesting, and realizing so made you sad to see them go.

Soon enough, you’re saying your goodbyes with hugs outside of the restaurant with promises to meet up again soon. Rosie gives you a lingering hug and whispers in your ear once again, out of sight and earshot from the others.

“I’m serious, Y/N, call me. I want to get to know you better.”

She pulls away and you nod, despite still not having made up your mind on whether or not you were actually going to call her. She didn’t need to know that right now. Your mind is a mess and you’re still trying to sort out exactly what happened that night. Even if you weren’t going to call her, it’s not like you’d tell her anyways. Your non-confrontational nature wouldn’t allow it.

You smile and part ways, making your way to the car, hoping your friend wouldn’t question what she saw, but deep down knowing she will. It’s stopped raining now, and all that’s left is the wet pavement reflecting the streetlights above you. You know the barrage of questions is coming, but you’re trying to savor this moment of calm before the storm.

You take a seat in the car and look over to your friend who’s already staring at you. It’s a bit of an ominous scene in the late evening, the only light coming from the minimal street lights outside your window. You stay silent. There’s no way you can really anticipate what’s going to come out of her mouth first. Your thoughts are cut short when she starts speaking into the silence.

“So, are you going to tell me what I saw in the restroom earlier, or am I going to have to pull it out of you?” she asked accusingly.

“Joy,” you responded sincerely, “can you keep a secret?”

[lostinfantasies38]

A collection of my Drarry WIPs. Just getting a feel to see if anyone is interested enough in them for me to keep writing them and maybe post them on AO3 at some point. Let me know what you think!

Tagging @kittimau @fandomn00blr @jellysharkbat @jennserr @river-of-asgard @sharkapologists and whoever else!

Alpha Harry - untitled

Shaking himself from his stupor, Harry trailed after them and sharpened his hearing to catch what the Malfoy patriarch was saying.

“You disappoint me, Draco,” Lucius grumbled as the pair fought against the flow of the weekend traffic.

“I’m sorry, Father,” he answered meekly. It wouldn’t do to rile up the man, especially in public. Best to grit his teeth and bear the tirade stoically in hopes it would temper his ire. But as they neared the junction where Diagon became Knockturn and Lucius shoved him roughly into an inconspicuous back alley, Draco knew his wish had been in vain.

The gilt-capped end of his cane dug mercilessly into his ribs as his father glared at him. He quickly reined in the fear coursing through him and focused on maintaining a neutral façade to minimize the sour notes of anxiety that would alert his father to his inner turmoil.

“You were supposed to be an Alpha and join the ranks to bring honour to our name in the eyes of our Lord. Instead, you are weak and useless. Good for absolutely nothing except bearing bastard whelps like a common whore,” he sneered.

Draco ducked his head and blinked back his tears. He knew his very traditional Alpha father believed Omegas were nothing more than broodmares, but to hear Lucius slander him for something outside of his control gutted him.

“I’m sorry, Father. I didn’t mean...I didn’t ask to be like this,” he said, grateful his voice remained steady since a show of weakness would only bring pain.

“That is not your only deficit. I very much doubt you’d have made a satisfactory Alpha, anyway,” Lucius spat. “You have no spine. I should have replaced you with a new heir when your frequent failings became apparent before you peaked. Now, I have to suffer the shame of everyone knowing what you are. After nine hundred years, the Malfoy name will end simply because you couldn't do what was expected of you.”

Choking down a sob, Draco bowed lower. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, awaiting the blow that would surely follow his father’s vitriol.

The snake-head whistled through the air and he tensed instinctively, but the blow never came as the comforting scent of woodsmoke, musk, and cinnamon washed over him. Lucius snarled in anger and Draco lifted his wide eyes to find Harry Potter shielding him behind a massive wandless protego, glaring defiantly at his father.

“You will not lay a finger on what is mine, Malfoy,” he growled dangerously.

Soulmate AU - It's Just My Skin

No, Harry Potter wasn’t his enemy, but the undeniable truth of who was was worse. Gasping through an anxiety attack, Draco sluggishly registered the rapidly plummeting temperature and the sputtering lamps as despair leached into his soul.

“Oh, fuck,” he croaked.

Ripping open the bathroom door, he dashed back to Potter’s compartment. Unceremoniously flinging open the cabin, he met the startled faces of the three Gryffindors and rolled his eyes.

“Well, don’t just sit there! We have to move! Dementors are boarding the train and I have a damn good idea who they’re after.”

“Shiiit,” Weasley said, scrambling away from the window as a hooded figure glided past, leaving ice crystals blooming in its wake.

“My sentiments exactly,” Draco snapped. “Come on. I’m not in the mood to be Kissed.” Harry grunted in confusion when Draco grabbed his wrist and dragged him out the door. “I swear, Fate has an ironic sense of humour pairing me up with you and your damned Muggle education. I’ll explain later, but for now, just follow my lead.”

Dementors couldn’t pass through corporeal objects, which meant they’d be protected if they reached the loo and locked themselves in. Wards alone wouldn’t be enough to bar the creatures from the lock-free train compartments, but with an enlargement spell on the bathroom, the four of them could safely hole inside until they reached Hogwarts or someone on the outside dealt with the dementors.

They didn’t get far, however, before a cloaked figure filled the opposite end of the corridor. A bone-deep weariness washed over them, sucking the life from their core and darkening their vision as it descended with a shriek. Draco reflexively squeezed Harry’s wrist, a welcome jolt of heat emanating from his name under his fingertips.

Two wands appeared on either side of him as Harry and Hermione cast a simultaneous shield, but Draco was familiar enough with his soulmate’s magic to recognize it wasn’t fully powered. This was how they died, then; their souls leeched by a dementor moments after confirming who complimented them. Glancing to his right, grey eyes met green in resignation. A million unspoken words passed between them until Harry’s eyes rolled in the back of his head and all the colour drained from his face.

Seraphim AU - untitled

The ominous ring of the ancient grandfather clock reverberated through the too-quiet hall outside his bed-chamber. Dread coiled in his gut as a cold sweat broke across his skin.

He was out of time and out of options.

No sooner had the twelfth peal sounded than Draco felt the tether linking him to his Chosen snap in place. His wings ripped through his shirt and a golden light cut through the unnatural shadows as he fell into a vision.

A boy sat huddled on the floor, crying softly and pleading for a swift end to his misery. Draco’s heart clenched when his magic registered the cuts and bruises along his body and his extreme level of dehydration and malnutrition. As though sensing his presence, the boy opened his eyes and stared directly at him. All of the breath in his lungs whooshed out of him the second Draco recognized the intense green gaze.

“Help me,” Harry begged.

Pressing a hand to his heart Draco disappeared without a sound, leaving the shadows to devour his room.

~~~

A figure materialized in the center of his room, winged and wreathed in a halo of gold. Though the back-light cast it’s face in shadow, further blurred by his lack of glasses and copious tears, the presence felt safe, bringing with it the smell of summer sun and fragrant incense—heady, yet comforting.

He smiled weakly when his sluggish mind recognized the creature’s purpose as his vision grayed along the edges. It would escort him to the other side and guarantee he found his family.

“Angel,” Harry croaked.

Draco caught him as he fainted and tucked him firmly against his chest as tears rolled down his cheeks and wet Harry’s unruly hair. Take us somewhere safe, he prayed as they disappeared without a trace.

A split second later, they reappeared in a hodge-podge living room, but it was warm and inviting, not a hint of dark magic tainting the space or the surrounding wards. Though their arrival was silent, the disturbance of the familial wards woke the occupants and within moments Draco found himself surrounded by a crowd of Weasleys. They ogled him with equal parts shock and awe at the sight of his wings filling the room and the waves of restless power radiating off his aura.

“Harry requires medical attention. He’s been beaten and starved and he’s severely dehydrated. He won’t last the night without aid.” Though he spoke barely above a whisper, his voice thrummed with a strange resonance.

[ulalumewitch]

this was originally inspired by the prompt “The Pet” by @capriprompts … part 3 finally address the prompt proper and my version of it. hope you enjoy!

Author’s Note: This story deals with disappointments during the adoption process as well as references to parental deaths during childhood. Some readers may find this triggering. I hope I handled it with the care and sensitivity it deserves.

This is part 3 (and final part). The links to Part 1 and Part 2 are below:

https://ulalumewitch.tumblr.com/post/658329277505421312/betty-part-1

https://ulalumewitch.tumblr.com/post/658355318446800896/betty-part-1

(not sure why they both read “part 1” but i swear the second one is part 2. one day i’ll figure all this out - lol)

word count: 2,590

themes: angst and fluff

hope you enjoy - i just love these two.

“Betty: Part 3”

Damen frowned as he sat on a stool at the breakfast bar. He looked passed the living room and to the balcony. Autumn finally broke through the summer heat, but despite the chilly temperatures, Laurent had remained outside on the balcony. For over an hour.

He’d been there when Damen got home at dinner. Laurent refused to eat, stated he wasn’t hungry, and turned away from him. Damen didn’t push him. After eight years together he knew which battles to pick, and he knew if he picked this one, he would lose.

His stomach fluttered with nerves. Damen wanted to speak to Laurent about what was coming before it got here. He tapped his phone screen again. No new messages. Dammit, Jokaste.

The woman was always late. While he hated lying to Laurent these past few days, he felt it necessary. He’d never lied to him before and it wasn’t something he ever wanted to repeat. But he wanted this to be a surprise if only so that Laurent couldn’t argue himself out of it. This would be good for them. Damen was sure of it. Well ... mostly sure of it.

Damen opened up his text messages waiting for replies. The texts from the people he talked to most in his life waiting for responses he couldn’t muster himself to give at the moment.

Papa Theo - D. Kastor wants to host Thanksgiving this year. Don’t let him take over. You and Laurent are better hosts. I’m begging you. Do what you have to. If I have to eat salmon on crackers again instead of turkey because Jokaste thinks it’s en vogue or whatever her high snobby ass thinks, I’ll lose it. Thank you. Papa.

Auguste - Laurent keeps ignoring my calls. Everything okay?

Kastor - Bro, Knicks game next weekend?

Nik - Knicks game next weekend? Text Kas for info.

Nicaise - Tell Laurent to call Auguste before I kill them both.

Jokaste - I’ll text you once I’ve valeted with the package.

The text from Jokaste was from two hours ago. It was only a fifteen minute drive between their apartments. But Damen knew from experience if he pressured her she’d delay herself more.

But for the past few days Jokaste was oddly ... maternal. She’d listened without spewing unwanted advice and helped him find exactly what he wanted, pulling strings from a few of the charities she’d help fund over the years. He’d never been so happy she spent money and drank wine for a living.

His phone buzzed in his hand. Damen let out a shaking breath as the text from Jokaste finally came through: The eagle has landed. We’re on our way up.

Damen took a breath and replied back: Laurent is out on the balcony. Door is unlocked. If we’re still outside please wait in the office until I get you. He’s ... not himself right now.

Damen held his breath. It could go one of two ways with Jokaste. Either she would understand or she would say she was too busy and leave the surprise in the living room before walking out.

His phone buzzed: Ok

He let the breath he’d been holding out and resolutely walked around the breakfast bar and to the balcony. Damen opened the glass door and gritted his teeth against the blast of cold wind to his face. Laurent remained sitting in his chair, bundled up in a huge knit sweater, scarf, coat, and hat that left only his eyes visible. He didn’t move as Damen approached. Laurent didn’t even look at him.

Damen’s heart pounded in his chest. Did something else happen? Had he forgotten something important? He and Laurent never had a problem communicating until recently and it killed him. This had to end. And now.

“Laurent,” Damen said.

No movement. No glance of acknowledgement. Nothing.

The wind picked up and howled as if in warning from the gods themselves against the building. Damen grabbed a chair a swung it around directly in front of Laurent and then sat down. Two narrowed eyes of blue ice cut to Damen then.

“You’re blocking my view.”

“Laurent, I know this has been hard -“

“I’m not talking about this. Leave me alone.”

Damen took a breath. He was in a worse mood then he thought. Shit.

“Listen to me. Okay? Just listen.”

Laurent leaned back slightly and with a small flourish of his hand indicated for Damen to proceed before crossing his arms over his chest. Damen took a calming breath and looked away at the same view to steady himself.

“I don’t know how much you’re hurting, because I’m not you. But I’m hurting too. It’s difficult. It’s painful. It’s unfair, and ugly, and all of the things you hope to never experience,” Damen stated, “But we’ll get through this. We will have our family, Laurent. Yes, things are bleak right now but we can’t give up because somewhere out there is our son or daughter. Maybe they’re not born yet, maybe they are. But we don’t give up because that’s not what we do.

“We didn’t give up on each other. Hell, you spent your entire inheritance to start a firm with a man you weren’t even married to yet. You helped raise your younger brother when you were still technically a child yourself because the worst nightmare for children happened. You fought your way through school and internships all while spending hours volunteering with children’s programs when most of us in law school could barely keep up with the average demands. You are a fighter, Laurent. You can’t give up now. Please, don’t give up now.”

Laurent’s eyes flickered for a moment as he regarded Damen silently. He didn’t move a single muscle. He also didn’t respond.

Damen took in a shuddering breath, “I love you. I’m sorry life isn’t as we want it right now. I will keep fighting for it, but I need you with me.”

Laurent still looked at him with cool neutrality as he asked, “Where were you this week, Damianos?”

Damen’s heart lurched in his chest. Oh God ... Damen had known better than to lie to Laurent. But he did it anyway because he’d been giddy at the thought of the surprise now waiting for them in their apartment. Apparently Laurent’s foul mood had been exacerbated because of him. Goddammit this was not how he wanted this to go either.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

Damen cleared his throat, “I’m sorry I lied to you. But if you come inside I’ll show you why. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Laurent huffed, “I’m not in the mood for surprises or apologies. Now, leave me alone.”

“No.”

Laurent’s nostrils flared as he shot up and gracefully moved around him to the door. Damen cursed under his breath as he went after Laurent. Before he could think he caught his arm as they entered the living room.

“Let go,” Laurent growled.

“I was with Jokaste,” Damen surged ahead, “I needed her connections to get something for you and me to expand our family in a different way until our child comes home.”

Laurent stilled. Damen immediately let go of his arm.

Laurent turned, his blue eyes glittering with fury, as he hissed, “What did you do?”

Damen ignored the churning in his stomach and called out, “Bring her out, Jokaste.”

From the other side of the apartment the sound of heels clicking against the floor echoed around them. Then, Jokaste came into view. Her gold hair pulled back, her makeup made her look more devastatingly beautiful than was natural. Her designer clothes understated but somehow still reeked of money - and in her arms she held a basket with pink padding. And within that, a small puppy yipped happily, wagging her tail.

Damen looked at his husband. Laurent’s mouth hung slightly open, eyes wide and staring. Damen took a step closer to him until they were nearly touching but not quite.

Damen murmured, “She’s a King Charles Beagle mix. Her owners were older and couldn’t care for her so they put her up for adoption. She’s twelve weeks old, spayed, up to date on vaccines, and mostly housebroken. Jokaste put word out to the charities for animal adoption she’s helped fundraise for over the years, and then one of her connections emailed her about this beauty. I’ve been meeting with Jokaste to spend time with the puppy and then more recently to finish paperwork on her, as well as visit dog training centers and to research their puppy programs.”

He stopped. Laurent still didn’t respond, though he’d since closed his mouth, his eyes on the puppy in the basket. The white and tan puppy yipped excitedly seeming only to have eyes for Laurent. Damen’s chest ached slightly ... it was like she knew.

“I wanted to talk to you about it earlier but you needed time alone,” Damen whispered, “I’m sorry. I wanted it to be a little bit of a surprise but not this much. Also, if you don’t want her I understand. Jokaste will keep her instead so she’ll have a good home. But ... but I thought it would be nice for us to have a pet to take care of, to start expanding our family this way until ... until we can get what we want. She’s part beagle, so I imagine she’ll utterly lose her mind with happiness on the farm. But again, Laurent, if it’s too much, Jokaste will take her home, no questions asked. It’s up to you.”

Laurent swallowed and Damen heard his throat click as he did so. His face unreadable as he took a step towards Jokaste and the puppy. As he walked towards her, Damen stayed in place, but didn’t suppress the smile as the puppy began to yip louder, and bounced on her front paws the closer Laurent got to her.

“She’s high energy,” Jokaste murmured, “But she does love to cuddle. I think she likes you.”

Laurent remained silent as he brought his fingers up to the puppy. She immediately began to lick them, her tail wagging at such a rate Damen wondered if it possible for the thing to fly off of her. Then, tentatively, Laurent stroked her head. The puppy stopped bouncing but remained with her eyes on Laurent, tail wagging, as he pet her. Damen’s gut lurched as he saw the slight tremor in Laurent’s hand every time he lifted it up to resume stroking her down her back.

Then Laurent picked her up and held her against his chest. The puppy reached up and licked his face. Laurent pursed his lips together but Damen swore a smile was there before he was assaulted with puppy kisses. He cradled her against him, her fur a stark contrast against the black coat he still wore.

When she settled Laurent looked at Damen. He felt Laurent’s stare go through him and straight into his soul.

“Her name is Betty Rue Vere-Akielon,” Laurent announced.

Damen grinned, “Your obsession with the Golden Girls prevails once again.”

Laurent looked at the puppy and whispered, “They are fierce and so are you.”

The puppy licked Laurent’s face happily in response yipping gleefully. Damen cut his eyes to Jokaste and she smiled softly at him.

“I’m going to go,” Jokaste stated, “Have a good evening.”

“Thank you,” Damen said.

She dipped her chin slightly in acknowledgement and left. Damen walked over to Laurent and sat next to him as he set Betty on the ground. The puppy ran over both of their legs as Laurent removed his scarf and jacket, discarding both on the floor behind them.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” Damen whispered.

Laurent cut his eyes to him before focusing on the puppy again, and said, “Forgiven. I’m sorry I gave you the silent treatment.”

Damen huffed a laugh, “No you’re not.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on Laurent’s lips and he said, “I missed having a dog. We had one when I was a little boy but she passed away just before our parents.”

Damen nodded and said, “They estimate she shouldn’t be more than twenty-five or thirty pounds. Both breeds are good with children. Training is a necessity. But, but I think she’ll fit in well.”

“She’s perfect,” Laurent cooed and picked her up again to hold her to his chest, and then looked at Damen, his smile finally wide and unrestrained, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Damen said, “I know this doesn’t fix anything, but I thought it would help.”

Laurent leaned closer to him and then pressed his lips softly to Damen’s. He closed his eyes and when Laurent went to retreat, grabbed the back of his head and kept their mouths firmly in place. Damen deepened the kiss, needing the contact, reveling in the taste of them together.

“I love you,” Damen whispered breathlessly, “I love you and I’m here for you. Through good times and bad.”

Laurent smiled softly, “I love you, too. Thank you for ... thank you.”

Damen slipped an arm around Laurent’s waist and pulled him closer. Laurent could talk circles around anyone. But when it came to expressing feelings, he still sometimes had difficulty. But Damen didn’t mind. Laurent loved Damen in ways that went well beyond the words, as it should be.

“Oops,” Laurent tittered, “Betty, darling, we must work on that bladder control. Come on, lets go for a little walk. Does she have a leash?”

Damen smiled, “Everything is stashed in the office, including a couple of different coats for her since it’s getting colder outside.”

Laurent snorted a little and stood up saying, “I’ll get her collar, leash, and coat on. You can clean up the mess.”

“Is that how it’s going to be?” Damen asked.

“Please tell me you bought her a collar and leash to distinguish her as the royalty she is and that it matches whatever clothing you got for her to wear,” Laurent called as he walked away from Damen without looking back or responding to his question.

Damen rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath before stating, “No, because I knew you’d hate anything I bought anyway.”

Laurent’s snort echoed as he made his way down the hall.

Damen smiled even as he cleaned up the puppy’s accident as he heard Laurent’s murmurs to the puppy, “Don’t worry, Betty, daddy is going to get you the most expensive collar, leash, and puppy coats money can buy. Papa doesn’t understand the importance of these things. What do you think pink with diamonds? Yes, I think so too ... or maybe a gold collar to compliment your white and tan coloring? Yes ... we’ll try a few on ...”

The pain of the rejection began to ease slightly in Damen’s heart. He knew it would take more time and more than a puppy for it to heal completely. But his gamble paid off and he reveled in the warm relief that coursed through his veins.

He and Laurent had work to do, but the dark cloud of anguish seemed to lift from over their heads. And as Damen put on his coat and grabbed Laurent’s from off the floor, he smiled as he walked down the hall as Laurent’s lament echoed loudly from the office, “Oh my God, was this made for peasant puppies? Nylon? Really?”

But Damen didn’t mind. He’d endure any cutting remarks on his sense of puppy fashion if it meant his beloved had a respite from his pain. Things weren’t perfect, but it was still a damn good place to be.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ End of this Little Story

thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. They are one of the many ships I love to follow and write about. have a lovely day, morning, evening, night wherever you are! xo

[mageemoulton]

At a public meeting at Mount Meigs, Alabama, Aug.

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[bjy-on-ao3]

Kinktober Day 23

(As before, you can find a link to the AO3 version of this and the rest of my Kinktober 2020 prompts on the ‘Masterlist’ section of the blog.)

The angel stuff in here is pretty just a headcanon for this particular piece and has no basis (that I’m aware of) in-game. I just thought it seemed like a fun idea for the stripping/striptease prompt. Also, this is probably hella cheesy, but it’ll do.

(Also I think this can be read totally gender neutral after going over it several times?)

Kinktober Day 23: Stripping (Simeon | Obey Me!)

You had been relaxing, still dressed in your RAD uniform, snuggled up to Simeon in your room - with a locked and well-cursed door to prevent any of the brothers from rudely barging in as they often did without knocking - when an idea came to you to torment your favorite angel. Simeon had explained early on that he wasn’t exactly allowed to have physical relations without permission from higher powers, or at least, not those of a carnal sort. You could kiss, cuddle, hug, and touch, so long as it was done chastely. Step past that line and you both might be punished. However, that limitation didn’t mean stop you from finding ways that didn’t involve directly touching to have dirty fun. Nor did it prevent you from teasing Simeon, much to his chagrin at times.

He brow sank, curiosity and caution glittering in his blue eyes. As much as it was a chore restraining himself when you felt ‘playful’, there was something very enticing about it as well. “Oh, I feel fine,” he answered hesitantly, watching from behind as you fiddled with the buttons of your overcoat.

Finishing with the row of buttons, you pulled open the jacket before loosely rolling your shoulders and shrugging the garment off. It hung around your shoulders, still secured by the belt around your midsection. Turning around casually, your coy smile fully evident, you reached up to the tie around your neck. With a sigh, you tugged out the knot and loosened your collar, letting your head loll back as if it were some great relief to get the thing off. With a flick of your wrist, you whipped off the tie, tossing it in one smooth motion at Simeon, who ducked as it flew past his head.

Fanning yourself half-heartedly with one hand and pulling the hem out from your belt, you fingered the buttons on your dress shirt, pausing once the last button was undone and letting the shirt flutter open. You glanced up from your task, purposefully locking eyes with the angel lying frozen on the bed. The look on his face was rapt, though his brows were arched and a dark flush dusted his cheeks. He made no move to look away, either content to stare or simply unable to pull his gaze away from your display.

His expression only drove you to continue. You knew from the past he wasn’t uncomfortable, at least not mentally. Simeon wasn’t someone afraid to express when something displeased him and his silence spoke leagues. The physical torment was just as much pain as it was a pleasure you had come to know, for both of you. It had become a fun little game, testing just how far you could push the boundaries without breaking them. 

Next, you needed to settle the business of the belt keeping your overcoat hanging off your frame. You nimbly slipped the strap of fabric from its buckle and leisurely pulled it undone. With nothing left holding it your body, the top layer of your uniform fell away, landing in a crinkled heap on the bedroom floor.

Simeon sat up straighter on the bed and you watched his eyes sweep over you. “Why do you tempt me like this?” He questioned, a thick, deep quality creeping into his otherwise calm and cheerful tone.

You feigned surprise, though it was hard to hide the knowing glint in your eyes. “I don’t know what you mean. It’s just really hot in here. It still is,” you mused, tapping the tip of your finger to your lip and lightly dragging it away.

Simeon sighed a little and shook his head, but returned eyeing you from his repose. Sometimes he wondered if he was a bit of a masochist for enjoying the torment he put you through. Or perhaps getting to appreciate the naked beauty of your body was just worth the ache. He knew it pained you in the same way as him, so at least he wasn’t alone in his sweet suffering.

You returned to the task at hand, moving onto your lower half. You hooked your thumbs underneath the waistband of the red-streaked slacks, giving a teasing wiggle of your hips that turned into a sway as you edged the material down. Dipping down to the floor until the fabric pooled around your ankles, you rose smoothly, kicking the pants off and aside. 

Left in your underwear, flushing just as deeply as Simeon, a sense of warmth rushed through you that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room. In fact, the room itself felt a bit cold and for a moment you longed to abandon your mischief and crawl back to Simeon’s warm arms. You were determined to see your little show through to the end though - it just wouldn’t feel right not to.

Turning on your heel slowly, you faced away from Simeon, giving him a teasing view of your backside in your remaining article of clothing. You repeated the motion you had used when sliding off your pants, though you made special efforts to lean forward and show off your slowly more bare ass. Turning back to Simeon again, your smile was wide as it could be. You stood relaxed and casual for a time with little regard for your nudity. 

The time had come to put the final touch to the torment of your favorite Celestial Realm resident. The part most dangerous for you both had you lacked the willpower. Though you trusted yourself and Simeon to be able to control your desires. It hadn’t failed thus far and your resolve had only grown through practice. That didn’t mean your pulse didn’t race at the thrill of the risk.

“Much better,” you purred, heading back toward the bed.

You clambered as gracefully as possible back onto the sheets, stretching languidly out beside the angel. Beside you, Simeon made a half-sad, distressed noise, almost a whine. “One of these days you’re going to get me into trouble,” he muttered.

“We’ll be in trouble together at least then, won’t we?” You quipped, tucking your hands beneath your head.

Wordlessly, Simeon moved from his place, twisting his upper body and holding himself up on his palms on either side of you. You made sure to remain stock still, a little taken aback that he would move in closer, further testing your control. He dipped his head, avoiding your lips and planting light, chaste kisses on your cheeks, moving up to your forehead and the top of your head. You closed your eyes, enjoying the gentle pecks, the pounding of your heart relaxing a little.

[ssadropout]

Their Way

A/N- Royai wedding fluff! I didn’t know how to accessorize Riza’s dress. The idea for her jewelry (I wanted her to wear some) is from a forum on theknot.com. I don’t see her wearing a veil. 

The large parlor in the Fuhrer’s mansion had been made cozy with casual arrangements of wildflowers. The sun shone through the large bay windows, but the room temperature was comfortable. They had opted to use upholstered chairs from around the house- there were enough of them- instead of the usual folding or hard wooden chairs for such an event. For the most part, the guests sat chatting happily in anticipation of what was to come. It wasn’t a large gathering, and the good mood was contagious- unless one was not capable of a good mood.

General Armstrong growled and rattled her sword. “Where is that punk Mustang? I swear, if he hurts Hawkeye, I’ll rid him of his sword with my sword!”

“Oh, dear Sister, it’s still early. I’m certain he would never do such a thing. The love between them is strong and true.” Alex Louis could not hold back tears, and his sister scoffed. 

The general stared at the temporary platform at the front of the room. Grumman sat calmly but alone on the riser under a canopy of more wildflowers. He looked as if nothing were wrong. In fact, he had a huge smile on his face. 

“He’d better get up there soon, even if Hawkeye deserves so much better than him. I suppose she is allowed one fault. There’s no accounting for taste.” 

Her brother wrinkled his expressive brows. “I wonder why Fuhrer Grumman is waiting up there. If he is Captain Hawkeye’s grandfather, why isn’t he walking her down the aisle?” Olivier just growled again.

********

Riza stared at herself in the vanity mirror as Rebecca fussed with her hair. Riza rolled her eyes, because there really was nothing to fix about the elegant chignon, but she said nothing.

The wedding, while still small by most standards, was larger than she and Roy had originally wanted. They had figured on a ceremony at City Hall with the team, her grandfather, and Madame. However, when their engagement was announced, congratulations from some people slightly outside their inner circle made them rethink the plan. Dr. Marcoh had restored Roy’s sight and made so much possible for them. Dr. Knox had always been there when Roy had needed him. Gracia… how had they ever considered leaving her and Elysia out? And, Edward Elric had made it clear that he didn’t give a shit about Mustang, but he and his family would be there in case Riza came to her senses and wanted to escape. So, it became an actual wedding with Rebecca and Havoc as attendants. An arf  interrupted her thoughts, and she ruffled her ring bearer’s fur. Roy had immediately agreed to Hayate being involved in their big day.

Once she had decided to wear a dress, she lamented not having a wedding dress from her mother. Her mother and father had eloped, and there had been nothing to remember their wedding  by except an official piece of paper. It would be very different for Riza and Roy. Gracia was carrying on for Maes, and she had already snapped an album’s worth of photos. 

Riza stood to stretch. It was nearly time to get the show on the road. She twisted to observe herself from all angles. The champagne colored dress was plainish- no, simple, not plain. It had detail but was unfussy. It fell around her body perfectly. After their engagement, Roy had had a jeweler make a necklace and earrings from pearls and some crystals he had transmuted. The jewelry was another example of his instinct about her. He had known nothing about her dress, but the accessories were perfect. He had even known that she never wore bracelets. Her bouquet of wildflowers lay on the dresser. 

“I’m ready,” she said with a serene smile. “See if the boys are ready.”

********

Madame had gone to check on the groom’s progress, and she reported to Grumman, whispering several words in his ear. Grumman rolled his eyes, even though it was only five minutes past the intended start. He addressed the audience, which quieted quickly for the Fuhrer. With a grin, he announced, “I believe that this is the first time Riza Hawkeye has ever been late for anything! The ceremony should begin in the next few minutes.” He felt like the cat that had swallowed the canary. He’d secretly requested that Mustang be assigned to him immediately after Ishval and had been more than thrilled when his estranged granddaughter had joined the young officer. The old man had immediately decided that Mustang would be his grandson-in-law, but it had taken him much too long to accomplish this. Who would have thought that he’d be Fuhrer before that idiot couple married? 

********

 Roy was shaking. He hoped that his hands would steady enough that he could get the ring on her finger. He wasn’t really nervous. They had been together in one way or another for more than half of their lives, and they had loved each other, if imperfectly, for many years. This day was really a dream come true. He just wanted everything to be perfect for her, and he didn’t want to be an embarrassment. He tried to keep his hands away from his hair, which looked neat for once. Breda smoothed Roy’s dress uniform but said, “Lookin’ good!” Except for Havoc and Mustang, the men left for the parlor. 

There was a knock at the door. Rebecca peeked in and said, “It’s time.” Then she smiled and looked Roy directly in the eyes. “If you ever hurt her, I’ll kill you.” Rebecca went back to the bride’s room. 

Havoc whispered, “I’m pretty sure she means it.” 

The two men walked into the hall, and the bride’s door opened. Roy’s hands stilled the moment that he saw her. She put her arm through his so that she could hold her bouquet. Hayate yipped around their ankles.

“You look so beautiful,” he softly declared. “You look just like yourself but moreso.” 

She wiped the tear that ran down his cheek. “Oh, Roy, are you beginning to cry already?” she laughed. She leaned into him, and he reciprocated.  

Hayate took his place at the head of the small procession. Jean and Rebecca linked arms behind the pup. Riza hadn’t really liked the idea of being given away. She had been living her own life and making her own decisions since she was nineteen. Grumman might have been a little hurt when they told him, but he had perked up when they asked him to officiate. Roy had long wanted Riza by his side instead of two steps behind. Already inseparable, they walked each other down the aisle like the true pair they already were.

[trassellynn]

SoC AU: The Haunting of Kree Manor - Chapter 2

Ao3 link here Plot: The Crows spend a week in a haunted house.  Undercut, the first part of the first tale.

INEJ. “The masked figure” Part 1 We arrived at Kree Manor on Friday, late in the morning. We moored the boats at the little dock on the Southern side of the island and, after walking through a thick grove, we finally arrived at a huge garden. There were no gates,n or walls, around the house. All we saw was a large labyrinth, made of hedges with small, dark green leafs, a quiet lake, a dry fountain and many, many statues. And the manor was... it was fascinating and terrifying at the same time.  It was so big it almost looked like a castle. The walls were old and dark, but still in good conditions, and its roofs had pointy, sharp shapes. And the windows... there were so many windows you had the impression to stand in front of a monster with thousands, dead eyes. “Well,” Kaz said, registering every details with his wary glance. “Old style, looks a bit creepy... but it has a lot of potential. Painting the outside walls with lighter colours will make it more appealing. Let's check the situation inside.” I exchanged a quick smile with Nina, who was holding Aenya in her arms. The little girl was playing with her mother's necklace and seemed not to mind the scary building in front of us. “Do you think we can take a bath in the lake?” Nina asked me. “The weather is quite hot, these days...” “I don't know...” “Yes, we can,” Wylan answered, fixing the bag on his shoulder. “The first and last time I met my uncle, he told me he was used to swim every evening in the lake, even in winter. It's definitely cleaner than the sea in the bays of Ketterdam...” “Well, I bet only Kaz's soul is dirtier than the bays of Ketterdam” Jesper giggled, making Matthias nod with enthusiasm. “Do you want to enter the house or are you going to lose your time standing there and saying idiocies?” Kaz echoed, giving us a severe look. Hiding an amused smile, we reached the door entrance but, when Wylan inserted the key into the lock, a growl caught our attention, making us turn around. Trassel had taken a few steps backwards, baring his teeth, his white, large body in a defensive position. Inga and Matthias immediately knelt next to him, caressing his fur. “Trass!” “Hey, mate, what is it? What's the problem?” “He seems to dislike the house...” Kuwei noticed. “Well, I'm sure he'll think differently, when we'll turn it into a luxurious hotel” Kaz replied. “Stop losing time, now.” We went swimming in the afternoon, after lunch. We had no idea how it was possible, but the water of the lake was so clean... I mean, not a single leaf or trace of dirt on the surface. It looked like someone was taking care of it everyday, but... it was absurd, since Wylan's uncle had died weeks before and we were the first ones to visit the house, after his death. Well... at least, it was what we believed... Jesper, Wylan and Kuwei were taking a swimming competition, Nina and Matthias were... well, sharing a moment together and Inga was playing with Aenya, pretending to give her some swimming lessons or placing her on Trassel's back. I dipped my feet in the water, enjoying the refreshing sensation on my skin, then, I turned my head, calling Kaz who was still standing on the shore. He was the only one who was still out of the water and his mind seemed to be far away from there. “Kaz?” His dark eyes met mine. “Go ahead without me,” he replied. “Maybe I'll join you later.” “The water is amazing!” I said, taking a few steps ahead and instinctively looking down. I didn't meet my reflection, on the surface. I didn't even met a face. A dark shape, something that looked like a hooded figure with a white mask was staring at me. The mask had an old design and... and a creepy smile, like an ugly, empty half-moon between the cheekbones. I blinked confusedly, taking a little step backwards and... and then I found myself staring at my own reflection. “Inej, are you okay?” I nodded, without turning my head, and, for a moment, my heart lost a beat when I heard Nina asking: “Hey, who's there?” I frantically tried to individuate the masked figure on the surface of the water, but I soon noticed my friend was staring at the opposite shore. “Who?” Jesper asked. “Where?” Nina pointed at something. One of her arms was still wrapped around Matthias' neck. “I saw a figure, behind that tree.” “It was wearing a mask?” I instinctively asked, the words came out of my mouth before I could even realized it. Nina shook her head: “A mask? No. But it was a woman, I'm almost sure.” “Do you want me to go to check?” Kaz asked. “I'm the only one still on the land...” The young woman hesitated for a while, then, she shook her head: “No, don't worry. I probably imagined it.” Part of me wanted to tell my friends about the vision I had a few moments before. Part of me wanted to tell Kaz yes, please, go to check, I don't feel safe. But... I don't know why, no sounds came out of my mouth. And once I completely immersed into the water, that weird feeling was washed away. At least... until that same night.... I chose an elegant, small room for the night. It was on the third floor and it directly communicated with Kaz's. There were a large, rectangular window, with a thick curtain; a tall, antique wardrobe that I struggled to open, the first time I tried, and... in front of the bed, on the opposite wall, there was a huge mirror. Well, actually there were three mirrors, the larger one was fixed in the middle, the other two were its wings and I could move them, so I could reflect my entire figure from different perspectives. I loved it. I spent several minutes, wearing my nightgown and braiding my hair, playing with the movable parts of the mirror. And when I went to bed, after wishing goodnight to my friends, I decided to let the reflective wings wide open. I fell asleep almost immediately but... I woke up a few hours later. It was almost the four o'clock in the morning. I tried to grab the glass of water on the bedside table, when a sudden thrill ran down my back. Before I could see it, I felt there was someone in my room. I immediately jumped out of the bed, the knife I had hidden under the pillow in my hand. The temperature in the room suddenly dropped, making me shiver, silver clouds of vapour came out of my mouth. For a moment, I told myself I was still sleeping and having a very weird dream. Nothing made sense, in that moment. And then... I instinctively looked at the mirror and, without realizing it, I approached it, my legs were moving at their own will. I have no idea how much time I spent in front of that mirror, staring at myself, my fingers clenching the knife. Suddenly, something moved in the shadow, behind me. Next to my bed, a tall, dark figure raised on their feet. My heart lost a beat: it was... them. The masked person. I see them clearly, through the mirror. I quickly turned around, raising my knife, ready to fight, but... but no one was there. Was it possible I had had a hallucination twice in a day? The air was cold, around me. My skin was filled with thousands, small chills. I turned to the mirror again, I wanted to close the movable wings to hide it. A scream from my mouth: the masked person was there, right behind me. Their hand caught my shoulder and I... I could feel it, I could feel the cruel grip. Sometimes... sometimes I still feel it. My knife fell on the floor and somehow I managed to get free, running to the door that communicate with Kaz's room and almost breaking through it, calling his name. In less than a moment, I was in his arms, he had probably woken up the first time I screamed. “Inej! Inej, what is it?” My throat was like an iced, desert land. Somehow, I managed to tell him there was someone in my room. Kaz let me go, he grabbed his cane and entered my room, his eyes were dark, furious, burning flames. I felt I had to go with him, to help him to find the intruder, but my limbs were frozen and everything I could do was waiting, crouched on the floor. “There's no one, here,” he finally said, coming back to his room and handing me my knife. “I... I hadn't imagined it!” I immediately cried. “There was someone, a tall, human figure, with a white mask... they touched my shoulder, I felt it! It was real, kaz, I know that!” “Hey, hey...” he whispered, kneeling in front of me, touching my skin for a brief moment. “You're... freezing...” “The temperature in my room suddenly dropped,” I sobbed. “I know it's absurd, these spring days have been hotter than usual, but, when I woke up... it was like being in winter, and...” “Do you want to sleep here, with me?” Shivering, I nodded. Kaz locked the door that separated our rooms, then, he helped me stand up, taking me to his bed. We laid down in the same position we sleep in, when we share a bed: back to back, so no one can catch us by surprise. And... contrary to my expectations, I slept well until morning. No masked people came to bother my dreams. For a couple of days, things seemed to go better. There was a lot to do, to check, to tidy in that house, we alternated work with enjoyable activities and this helped me a bit to keep the masked figure out of my mind for the most of the time. But I couldn't help but feel a thrill every time I entered my room. I kept the movable wings of the mirror closed, I was afraid to see again that person behind me, if I dared to look at my reflection again. For a moment, I almost tried to tell myself that, maybe, the masked person wasn't real, that my mind had simply played me a cruel trick. But I soon discovered I wasn't the only one who experienced something scary and weird, in that house. Wylan complained about objects that moved, disappeared and appeared in other places, Kuwei said he heard kids' steps and voices, Trassel was often in a bad mood... one by one, we all became wary and nervous and we tried to keep our minds busy as much as we could. On the third night, I woke up again. I was afraid to see the masked figure, but, somehow, I realised everything was quiet. The glass on my bedside table was empty. I didn't remember I had drunk all the water, but I didn't mind much about it and I went down to the kitchen, to fill it again. The kitchen was on the ground floor, on the west wing of the house. To reach it from the stairway, I had to walk down the ample entrance hall, then, there were two other smaller aisles, the second one directly led to the kitchen. When I arrived at the entrance hall, my attention was immediately caught by something, or better, someone who was lying on the ground, face up, with legs slightly apart and a hand rested on the stomach.   My eyes widened and, for a moment, I almost forgot how to breathe. “Nina!” I gasped, running to my friend and kneeling next to her. “Nina, what are you doing here? Nina, can you hear me?” I frantically checked if she was hurt, if she was still breathing... and I soon realized she actually seemed to be okay, to sleep quite peacefully. When I touched her cheek again, she finally opened her eyes, letting a little moan out of her mouth and blinking confusedly. “Inej?” she murmured. “What are you doing in my room?” “Oh... I... we're not in your room...” I replied. “We're on the ground floor, on the entrance hall... can you see the entrance door?” She slowly moved her head, focusing the environment all around us, then, she simply said: “Oh...” I tried to add something, when heavy footsteps announced someone was coming downstairs. Matthias' voice reached our ears. “Nina!” he called, trying to keep his voice low. “Nina, love?” “She's here!” I replied, whispering. His blue eyes widened and his face became pale, when he saw his wife laid on the floor. “Nina! Oh Djel, oh Djel, love, are you hurt? Are you...” “I'm fine...” she lazily murmured, while we where helping her to sit up. “Take me to bed.” “I found her here” I explained. “Maybe she has walked in her sleep...” “I think so...” Matthias sighed, giving a worried glance in the direction of the staircase. “She... she walked downstairs while sleeping... Djel...” He took her in his arms: “I'll take her back to bed... are you okay?” “Yes,” I showed him the glass. “I was just going to take some water.” “Okay. Thank you, Inej. Goodnight.” “Goodnight.” I stood up, trying to ignore the uneasy sensation that was growing in my chest, and I walked to the kitchen, silence surrounded me. I poured fresh water in the glass, I drank it, then I half-filled the glass again, walking back to my room. I was at the end of the second aisle, I had almost reached the entrance hall, when silence was broken by a whisper behind my back. My heart jumped into my throat, while I slowly turned around, knowing what I was going to see: the masked figure was there, a few metres from me. The glass fell from my hand, crashing on the floor. I tried to face the terrifying apparition, but I was trembling and my throat hurt. “Who... who are you?” I rasped. “What do you want?” The figure didn't answer. They simply pointed at me, with their long, crooked finger, then they started walking towards me, slowly. I picked some pieces of the glass, throwing them at the scary vision, then I fled. Something, in my mind, was telling me to be brave, to face them and fight them. I was Captain Inej Ghafa, I had never run away from an enemy. But... but that enemy wasn't like the others. That enemy wasn't... human. The figure followed me, upstairs. It walked slowly, but it was always behind me. When I reached the third floor, I directly entered Kaz's room, locking every door and sliding into his bed. He was awake. His back against mine was somehow reassuring. “I cannot sleep too,” he whispered. “I'm ready to give a proper welcome to every piece of shit who's haunting you.” I didn't reply. I was trembling, I felt cold. All I wanted to do was falling asleep until morning. And eventually... eventually it was what I did.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Change of Plans [M]

Summary: you just wanted to shower, curl up in Jinyoung’s arms and go to sleep. However, he had other plans for the rest of your night.

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

Genre: smut / idol au

Warnings: unprotected sex in an established relationship

This is the fourth instalment in the Exposed world. Whilst it’s not crucial to read the first three to enjoy this, it will set up their relationship journey. I’ve linked them below.

Index: Exposed | Stubborn | Your Turn | Change Of Plans [M]

Word count: 3027

“If you were going to take this long to shower, I would have stayed in my own hotel room,” you announced as you entered the bathroom with a roll of your eyes. Your hand remained stuck on the handle of the door however, your eyes slipping to the glass wall in front of you. Despite the steam encasing the room, his silhouette was visible from here and you eyed him quietly from head to toe, blinking slowly.

To make matters worse, Jinyoung leaned around the glass; hands still up in his hair as he lathered the shampoo in it. He stopped, frowning lightly before tilting his head.

“I’m sure it was a girl,” he mentioned dramatically and it was enough to pull you away from your reverie, a groan falling from your mouth at his playful re-enactment.

“Yes, I am a girl and one who needs a god damn shower! How long have you been standing under the water doing nothing for?”

Jinyoung shrugged; still pleased with himself for slipping back into a character he hadn’t played in some time. You weren’t as thrilled. Had he shown you all of this back then when it was all still new to you, perhaps he would have received more of a reaction from you. It wasn’t that you didn’t find Jinyoung’s body attractive. After all, had you not all those months ago, your connection with the man would still be juvenile. Full of the flirty banter and nothing more.

A small part of you was thankful for that shower scene he had done in his drama at the start of the year. It had opened up the opportunity for you and Jinyoung to become more than co-workers. Yet, you had seen his body more than you could count by now. It didn’t leave you as speechless as it once did because you had become far too intimate with it to just stop and stare.

Jinyoung was aware of the change in mood within you as you shifted closer to his placement in the hotel shower. “Are we going to update that old scene?”

“I’m pretty sure the only person in there with you in the first one was-”

“About twenty members of staff and I was freaking out on the inside,” he corrected, having now washed the soap from his hair and leaned back around the glass door. Droplets of water cascaded from his hair onto your clothes and he smirked before stepping back. “I think you have too many clothes on, Y/N.”

“I have no plans of joining you in there, Park Jinyoung.”

“You want a shower,” he reminded, now reaching for the soap. “So come have one.”

“Once I’m in there, you’re getting out,” you concluded sternly, slipping out of your jeans and blouse fluidly. It had been a long day of travelling and an even longer night making sure everyone was assigned their allocated rooms after checking in at the hotel. Just as you had been heading down the hallway to your designated abode for your stay in this city during the last leg of their world tour, a hand had shot out of one of the adjacent rooms, dragging you inside.

The least Jinyoung could do after interrupting your plans for the remainder of your evening would be to give you access to his bathroom so you could shower in peace.

Your undergarments followed the outer layers onto the floor and you stepped out of the pile of clothing you had made and over to the wall separating you from a relaxing shower. Jinyoung’s eyes had been avidly watching you as you shed your layers and followed you all the way over, his tongue darting out to lick his lips unconsciously.

“Out you get,” you exclaimed, hiking your thumb in the direction of the exit. He didn’t move, however, and you placed your hands on your hips. It made him reach to run a hand through his hair and wipe the excess water away from his eyes hastily. He wanted to see all that was before him without a veil of water shielding his view, and the lust that had built up in his dark gaze made you realise just how foolish you had been.

Even though you were in charge of his career, you of all people knew that Jinyoung overruled any of your attempts to lead this relationship.

He wasn’t going to get out any time soon.

“Are you coming in here?” he asked, voice now tight, all control coiled up within his stomach. Your eyes travelled over him slowly, wondering what you should do. You knew if you took a step forward, Jinyoung would carry you into another realm of pleasure. And whilst that hadn’t exactly been on the cards tonight, you wouldn’t regret it either. You never did. Experiencing passionate moments with the man you loved would never stop being something you desired whenever you had the opportunity.

Yet, you knew how early the start to the day would be tomorrow. You were exhausted and craved falling asleep in his arms more than exercising further before slumber. Besides, you had requested he gave you this shower.

“You’re taking too long to decide,” he grumbled, his arms reaching out for you, encircling your waist and drawing you under the water with him. You didn’t get a chance to acclimatise to water’s temperature before Jinyoung’s lips crashed down on yours. You moaned, enough of a vocal answer that a choice had been made and your hands moved up over his torso, running against the downward flow of the water coursing over his body. They linked behind his head, threading fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Whilst you initially balanced yourself against him in his fevered attack, Jinyoung focused on pushing you against the wall, securing you there so he didn’t have to work as hard between all the kisses raining down on you. His forearms caged you in, pressing into the side of your breasts and warranting another moan to slip from your mouth.

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, a pressing excuse made its way through the swirling lust encompassing you. As his mouth worked magic on the side of your neck and you gasped for air in this heated environment, your knees began to give way and your heel slipped on the water at your feet. It made the words travel to the surface immediately, jerking your exposed skin away from his lips.

“We can’t.”

“Oh but we can,” he breathed, tightening his hold around you. Removing one arm from the wall, he coiled it around your upper body firmly, bringing you flush against him.

You shook your head rapidly. “I don’t want to.”

“Your body is saying otherwise,” he pointed out, though his grip faltered enough for him look at you, trying to decipher why you were halting what was feeling so good to him.

“Not in here.”

Jinyoung cocked his head to the side. “Not here?”

“Take me to bed so I don’t slip and die in here,” you stated, tapping his shoulder impatiently. You would simply shower afterwards. Alone. With the safe notion that any heightened experience you had tonight would be done so horizontally without any way of falling down since your knees were too weak to handle the feelings coursing throughout you. Before you lost any rationale, you would put a stop to this.

Jinyoung didn’t seem to follow the same thought process, instead laughing at your safety procedures. “You won’t fall and die, don’t be so dramatic.”

“I just slipped on the water,” you refuted, and your boyfriend gave you an incredulous look. You merely stared back at him, unwavering. “Not in here, Jinyoung.”

Pointing to his shoulder, he challenged you. “Hold onto me. I’ll make sure you don’t fall. You’re always marvelling about how strong my arms have gotten.”

“Use them to carry me off to the bedroom if you want to continue then.”

“You’re really going to be like this?” he asked, loosening his hold on you, frustrated the feeling that had been building was now plateauing. He rubbed the water away from his face, this time not looking at you for a moment. “I might hurt myself carrying you there, just as much as you might hurt yourself in here.”

You stared at him, disgusted with his statement. With a burst of energy, you shoved him off and moved under the sprays of the water. “I’m showering now.”

“What about bed?”

“I’ll find my own,” you announced, blinking rapidly. You knew he was making a valid point. The risk of injury was present in any activity. But the tone he had used made you feel foolish, chiding you for ending things prematurely. You cursed yourself for getting undressed and starting this heady experience in the first place. Not only were you offended that he had unintentionally remarked about your weight, you were also feeling pent up from ceasing the pleasure between you both. Embarrassment now licked at your cheeks and you turned away from him entirely.

Even after all this time, you couldn’t figure out how you became so feeble around Park Jinyoung.

His arms encased you again, uncaring of the water directly hitting him as he kissed the back of your neck. You instinctively shifted so he could have more access and Jinyoung kissed you once more before huskily chuckling into your ear. “You drive me insane.”

“I’m sorry I’m stupid,” you mumbled and you squeaked when his hand suddenly reached for the back of your thighs, hoisting you up bridal style into his arms. You clung onto his neck, eyes wide as you stared down at him. “I thought this was too risky? Put me down, I don’t want you getting hurt carrying me.”

“It’ll be worth it,” he exclaimed and before you could protest, Jinyoung gestured for you to turn off the shower, stepping around the glass wall and stopping just long enough for you to grab towels off the countertop before entering the bedroom.

Placing you down on the edge of the bed, he rolled out a towel, and then came back for you, helping you onto it. With the other, he started running it over your body to dry away any of the excess moisture on your skin. You were certain with the heat permeating from you with how painstakingly slow his movement had become was drying your skin faster than he could keep up with. All the same, Jinyoung continued to wipe every part of you, a smirk filling his luscious lips as you grew impatient.

“You wanted things to happen out here,” he murmured, tone laced with amusement. “Had you trusted in me in there we might be experiencing a high by now.”

“Don’t drag it out,” you breathed, your hands reaching out for him but he avoided your attempt, his lips curling up deviously. “Jinyoungggg.”

“You’ll be calling that name out multiple times, baby. Just you wait.”

“I don’t want to wait,” you cried out petulantly, though his approach remained unhurried.

“We can’t have what we want without earning it first,” he told you, eyes blown wide with lust. You knew he was capable of holding back his carnal urges until it suited him to unleash them. Jinyoung was the king of pleasure and pain, tormenting you and denying you what you desired all at once. His hand behind the towel was avidly curling around your upper thighs, slipping in between your legs teasingly. You groaned, throwing yourself back into the bedding and gripped at the towel beneath you. There was no point arguing it. You were at the mercy of his plans.

Your back arched when his mouth shifted to your chest, planting kisses over your breasts, reaching the summit of one of your fleshy mounds and sucking your nipple inside his mouth. You whined as he focused on rousing the sensitive part of your breast, pulling back with a pop sound and marvelling his handiwork.

“Oh no, you’re wet again,” he mentioned, lifting the towel and rubbing it over the now hyper-sensitive spot. You writhed under his efforts, a curse falling from your mouth at how good it felt. Unlike him, you were ready for more than this wicked foreplay, hands reaching out for him desperately, begging for full attention from the man in front of you.

You didn’t care how you appeared, you wanted him now. Needed him to speed things up before you left him behind in the dust.

But you knew Jinyoung enough to know that was exactly his plan. Smugly, he cocked his head to the side. “Use your words.”

“Now, I want you now!”

“Here?” he asked, dropping his mouth to your other nipple, enticing it just as he had the other. You shook your head in your fevered state, pushing him down, guiding him where you needed him most.

“Oh, you want me here,” he stated, kissing the inner side of your thigh, grazing his teeth along your skin and making you yelp. Your hips were already rocking away, the action pleading with him to catch up. Instead, he moved back up to your navel, licking strips of your skin and chuckling into you as you fisted handfuls of his hair.

“Needy baby,” he confirmed as he angled himself around your heat. Gingerly, he ran a finger up and down your entrance, using his other hand to settle your hips. Breathing staggered, you let out another wanton moan, groaning through his deliberate, sluggish pace.

And just as if a switch had gone off, he plunged two fingers inside of you, another curse rolling off your tongue as your body lurched with his action. He curled them within you before establishing a rhythm, grunting with his efforts. You bounced on his fingers, eager to meet the impending high. Vision growing blurred, you threw your head back, waiting for the warm release.

Instead, he removed his fingers before you reached the ultimate high. Eyes wide with frustration, you snapped your focus towards the man now kneeling between your legs, inspecting the mess upon his fingers. He then smiled down at you. “Was that where you needed me?”

“Must you do this every time?!”

“You should have just carried on with me in the shower,” he commented solemnly, drawing one of his fingers into his mouth.

You were done waiting, playing into his games as you always did. On occasion, you were empowered to take control, and by the look within his eyes as you shifted up to kiss him hard, you knew Jinyoung was anticipating you taking over. You were all too quick, unlike his own gameplay, moving so you were straddling his lap and pulling yourself flush against him. Jinyoung’s hands fell to your hips, pushing you down and offering you more friction.

“No more wasting time,” you told him in between kisses.

“I don’t want you here,” he announced, plucking you up enough to reposition his kneeling position. Leaving his thigh directly under you when he let you go, you gave him a hard look. Jinyoung grinned. “Here. This is where I want you.”

“Jinyoungggg!” you whined, attempting to move your arms from around his neck to travel down to what you really craved. But he used those muscles you so often marvelled to his own benefit, trapping you within his embrace.

“Here,” he instructed firmly and you gave in, grinding into his thigh. It didn’t take you long to reach the peak of another orgasm, slipping around on his skin and moaning with the feeling against your sensitive nub. You eyed him carefully, watching to see if he would deny you what you had been chasing once again. He merely shrugged, gesturing for you to continue.

You should have guessed it was in his plans to prevent you from entering Nirvana without him. However, his patience was wearing thin, pulling you back down onto the bed with him and kissing you passionately. You were spent in energy, laying there as he lined himself up at your entrance with a couple of pumps, sliding into you with a guttural groan. Together you rode through the pleasure, gripping at one another as the waves of desire crashed upon you over and over, increasing in their intensity until you couldn’t hold out anymore. You called out his name with your ultimate high, fingers digging into his back as you jerked underneath him. Jinyoung soon joined you, filling you with a warmth that made you giddy and you rested back into the pillows, glowing from your well-deserved orgasm. After catching his breath, Jinyoung kissed your forehead, reaching down for the discarded towel and began wiping up the mess you had each created. He then threw it on the floor and returned to your side.

“Reckon we should have stuck to the shower?” he asked and you rolled your eyes, shifting up to meet his swollen lips.

“It would have been over earlier, I guess.”

Jinyoung smirked. “I would have just brought you back in here to continue where we left off.”

“Then I guess I should be grateful,” you announced, curling up in his arms. You soon let out a sigh. “I need to shower still before bed.”

“Do you now?” he replied, his voice husky once again. Smiling, you kissed him several times over, rolling so you were on top of him. Just as Jinyoung went to grab you, you shook your head, leaving a final peck on his lips.

“You already spent more than enough time in there before. It’s my turn now,” you informed and got up, heading back into the room that had started this all. By the time Jinyoung appeared, you were already under the water, washing away some of the evidence of your lovemaking. He watched you through the window again, arms firmly folded across his chest.

“You’re just showering?” he wondered and you reached for his shampoo, rubbing it into your scalp.

“That’s the plan.”

Jinyoung was silent for a moment before he stalked across the room, rounding the glass barrier with haste. “We’ll see about that.”

_________________

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[harley-sunday]

10 Things I Hate About You [02]

Summary: Based on the RomCom ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ we follow the reader as she tries to win over Bucky Barnes so his best friend can finally go on a date.Entry for @arrowsandmixtapes​ RomCom Challenge

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (f) & Steve Rogers x Maria Hill

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 2.5k

AN: This was a fun chapter to write, hope it’s a fun chapter to read as well. Please let me know what you think :) ♥

Masterlist

You find the gym empty, which is weird for this time of day, but honestly right now it suits you just fine. You have twenty minutes before Barnes will join you for your training session and you want to get this out of your system before then. No need for him to see you like this. Although you're sure he already knows. Privacy is hard to come by here.

Setting up the target, you don’t bother replacing the Iron Man outline he must have used the last time he was here, because this time you might share whatever it is Barnes has against him. You grab the bag of knives you brought from the supply room before you make your way to the other end of the room and dump them on the floor unceremoniously by tipping the bag over. You take as many as you can hold into your hand and clear your mind, focusing on what you're about to do. There’s at least twenty feet between you and the target now, and while it takes you a few throws to get into the right rhythm, after a short while you’re hitting it throw after throw, more knives finding their way into the bull’s eye than during last week’s session. 

You’d like to say it’s because you’ve been practicing, or simply because you’ve found out you’re a natural, but the truth of the matter is that you’re pissed off and anger has always been a good motivator for you.  

Barnes comes in early and so you’re still working through your anger when he joins you, your throws becoming more and more frantic, and a sheen of sweat covering your body. Must be quite the sight, you think, but at least he’s smart enough not to comment on it. The last knife finds its way a little off center as it flies towards the target, and like his did last week, it hits the handle of one of the knives already there before it bounces off and lands on the ground.

Using your shirt you wipe some of the sweat off your face and set out to collect your knives so you can start your training session, when suddenly you feel his hand on your arm, holding you in place. 

“You ok?” 

You let your eyes fall to his hand before you look up at him. People have told you you tend to look like you’re about to hurt someone on average but you guess you really must be shooting daggers now, because he actually lets go of you and takes a step back. 

His hands go up in defense, but he actually looks worried, “That bad, huh?”

Some of your anger resolves then, because fuck, this is Barnes, the guy’s lived through enough to not have to bear the brunt of your anger, and so you shake your head, “Not really.” Then, as an afterthought, “Don’t worry about it, Barnes.”

“Bucky,”

“What?”

“Barnes is reserved for when I’m at work,” he grins, “just call me Bucky.” 

You’re about to tell him, “Ok,” but there’s a group of recruits coming in then, talking loudly until they spot you, their voices quieting down almost instantly, and so you keep quiet too. You throw them what you hope is a look that tells them to mind their own fucking business. You have a reputation to uphold after all. 

He just stares at them from over your shoulder, shaking his head before he looks back at you. “Come on,” he says then, motioning for you to follow him as he walks towards the target and collects the knives, dropping the bag off at the locker room door, muttering something about getting that later. 

As you throw one last look over your shoulder you see Nat coming in, who winks at you before she tells the recruits to stop glaring and get into position. You smile back at her before you follow him to one of the side doors that leads directly outside. The sunlight has you blinking as you try to adjust your eyes, the warmth of the afternoon sun a welcome change from the cold temperature in the gym. 

He turns around and asks you the same question again, “You ok?”

You nod this time, because you feel a bit better already, “Getting there.” 

He motions for you to sit down on the grass and when you do he joins you, sitting down so he’s facing you, pulling his knees up and letting his wrists rest on top of them, his hands playing with a dandelion he picked just moments earlier. He looks at you then, “Does this have anything to do with Steve having to join you on your next mission?”

“Babysitting me, you mean?” 

He chuckles, “Yeah.” 

Part of you doesn’t want to talk about it any more than that, because this moping around feels safe and at least no one bothers you when you’re in one of your ‘moods’, as Nat likes to call them. Bucky seems genuinely worried about you though and so you start, “Tony and I have this deal,” you look up at him and see him nod, taking this as your cue to continue, “technically I’m part of the team, but I only do solo missions.”

“Because of Padua, right?”

“Right,” you reply. He must have heard what happened, and if he hasn’t he doesn’t ask about it so you don’t bother to explain any further. “Then this morning I get assigned a new mission only to find out in the briefing room that Tony wants Steve to fucking chaperone me!” You scoff, “Gave me some bullshit excuse about quality control, that they want to know if I’m still carrying out my missions to the set standard.” You curse quietly. 

“Why?” Bucky seems as surprised as you are.

You sigh. “Last week I was on a mission to extract some files that supposedly link HYDRA to funding the 2016 presidential campaign,” you clear your throat, “I used explosives to draw my target out of his hiding place but apparently Tony thinks I blew up a civilian car just for shits and giggles, allowing my target to escape and causing substantial damage to a few public buildings while I was at it.”

“I know I made a mistake, ok? It’s not like I’ll do it again next time.” You sit up, “but now I don’t get to go on any solo missions until I prove my worth again.” You tut, “Fuck. Don’t get me wrong, I like really Steve, but I don’t need someone tagging along, watching my every move and then tell me what to do when I’ve been going at it alone for the last few years.”  

“Welcome to my world,” Bucky counters almost immediately and in such a deadpan manner you can’t help but laugh.  

“I’m working on it, Maria, ok?” you tell her before she even has a chance to say anything. She’s found you in the kitchen where you’re unloading the dishwasher rather aggressively because it’s your fucking turn today and God forbid you forget to do one of your chores around here. Thor, surprisingly, has already lectured you about the importance of taking your responsibilities seriously twice before, and that was just because you forgot to clean the lint out of the dryer after you used it, and you’re not sure you can make it through a third time without losing your damn mind. 

She holds her hands up in defense, “Not what I was going to ask, but sure.”

“Sorry,” you try to smile at her, “rough day.” 

“I know,” she replies. She leans against the counter, “I was just coming to see how you’re doing.” 

She and Steve were in the briefing room with you when Tony told you about his plan and so she got to witness firsthand how you react when you feel betrayed by the two men you trust most. Tony likened it to a tantrum unprecedented by anything a two-year old has ever thrown. Steve never said anything but looked genuinely scared of you. So to say you’re surprised Maria’s even talking to you now is an understatement.

“I’m ok,” you admit, “my training session with Bucky turned into somewhat of a therapy session, so I got most of my anger out.”

She doesn’t say anything, just smiles.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she shakes her head and starts to walk away. Then she turns around, a mischievous grin playing on her lips, “But I guess Steve’s not the only one who gets to call him Bucky anymore.”

The mission was supposed to be simple. Fly in, gain access to the main server of the facility without making too many casualties, extract the files needed, and be back before dinner. On your own it would probably take around four hours on site and so you figured now that you’re with Steve you could get the job done in just under two. You might be wrong. 

“Rogers?” you try again, pressing the comms unit into your ear a little more, “Rogers, report.” Nothing but static fills the air and you’re starting to get worried. He’s been silent for at least five minutes, and even though you agreed to split up so you could cover more ground faster, right now you wish you hadn’t. You decide to retract to your last shared location, but not before you try again, “Rogers, I have what we came for. Can you please report?”

Still nothing. 

You let out a frustrated groan. Protocol says you should go back to the Quinjet, call for backup, and then wait it out until they arrive. Of course, you think to yourself, Captain fucking America could be dead by then but at least you’ll have followed protocol. Tony would be so proud. You check your gun, confirming what you already knew, still fifteen rounds left and so you make a quick decision, muttering a quiet, “Fuck protocol.” before you set off to where you last saw Steve.

“Language.” 

“I’ll let Tony know you’re perfectly capable of going out on your own,” Steve says as he turns to you after he’s put the Quinjet on autopilot.

“Thank you,” you reply. There's venom dripping through your voice and even though it really isn’t aimed at him you can see Steve physically recoil. Great. Now you’ve upset Captain America. This might be worse than getting him killed. 

Besides Nat, Steve is the one you’re closest too, not in the least because he’s the one who convinced you to join all those years ago on his first ever recruitment mission. And while Nat was the one who got him up to speed with modern technology after he got defrosted, you were the one who supplied him with endless lists. Lists of what movies to watch, which albums to listen to, and books you thought he’d like to read. Then, for every year he missed you made a recap, collecting them all in a binder that you handed him on his first birthday after he came out of the ice. 

And while Nat always bears the brunt of your moods in stride, up until now you’ve always been careful not to be too bad-tempered around Steve. It’s hard to pinpoint why, but you guess it’s because he’s so sweet-natured that you’d feel embarrassed if he’d ever did see you lose it, even though he did get a taste of it in the conference room earlier this week, you remind yourself. Woo, boy. Not good.

“Sorry about that,” you say, your voice much softer now. 

“It’s ok,” he says, because of course he does. 

“It’s just-” you sigh. You don’t want to sound like a whiny brat, but it still upsets you you’re being supervised, “I don’t know. It feels like Tony has it out for me for some reason.” 

“Listen, don’t be too hard on Tony, ok?” Steve turns towards you with an apologetic smile. “Ross has been watching our every move for a while now, accusing us that we’re taking unnecessary risks and Tony just doesn’t want to take any chances.”

“Noted,” you reply with nod. You lean back in your chair, watching Steve out of the corner of your eye. He really is one of the good guys, you think, determined then to do whatever you can to make sure Maria can ask him out on a date. They both deserve some happiness, you decide. 

You don’t see Bucky until next Monday, the mission you went on with Steve having interfered with your Thursday session. By now you’ve moved on to actual hand-to-hand combat after you passed some sort of knife-throwing exam he had you go through at the start of the afternoon. 

“Alright,” he says as he gathers his hair and ties it into a loose bun at the base of his neck. “We’ll run through it together. Half-speed, ok?”

“Ok.” You resume your position, back towards him so he can attack you from behind after he’s explained exactly what you’re supposed to do to actually block his attack this time. Taking deep breaths to prepare you for the inevitable even though you know what’s coming he still surprises you when he suddenly grabs you. 

Remembering what he’s told you, you grab a hold of the hand that’s holding your neck, while at the same time you turn around, mimicking a punch with your other hand, before your almost kick him in the goods. 

“Good,” he says with a grin. “We’re going to try that again, but full-speed and no holding back this time, ok?”

“You sure?” you counter with a sly smile, eyeing the loose sweatpants he’s wearing. 

“Very,”

You shrug, “Alright, let’s do it.”

He has you walking from one end of the gym to the other, so the attack will even be more of a surprise and you’re almost at the halfway point when you feel his hand on your neck. His grip is tighter than it was before, letting you know you’re playing for keeps now. 

You repeat the motions you’ve come to memorize, actually punching him this time, but hesitate when you lift your foot up to kick him. 

He takes advantage of your momentary distraction and hooks his leg behind yours, taking you down in one swift move. You’re on your back before you know it, his arm across your chest to hold you in place. There’s a gleam in his eye when he says, “Should have gone for the goods, sweetheart.” 

“Speaking about goods,” you say with a wink, letting your eyes drop to where his arm is draped across your chest before you look back up at him again, “you just skipped first base and went straight to second, Barnes. I’d say you owe me a drink for that.” 

“Oh shit,” he mutters, quickly pushing himself off. His cheeks are slightly more red when he holds out his hand to you to help you to your feet. “I’m sorry-”

“It’s ok,” you reassure him, because you can tell he’s genuinely upset. He still doesn’t look convinced so you try again, “Really, Bucky, don’t worry about it.”

He smiles then before he gently pushes you towards the locker room, “Let me at least buy you that drink some time then.”

[frameadult5]

The Numerous Advantages Of Copper Peptides

Cyclic Peptides In Biological.

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Content

Triple Quadrupole Mass Spectrometer.

Performance.

Distinguishing Between Historical Lamb And Also Goat Bones Making Use Of A Solitary Collagen Peptide.

Peptide Alterations.

Mapkkide ® Peptide Substratum (dabcyl.

Peptides can also help boost the functioning of neurotransmitters in the brain. These include serotonin and endorphins, which can help reduce depression and anxiety. Another type of peptide that has been studied extensively is epinephrine, which can be found in the body's adrenal glands. It can be a key player in the body's thermo-genesis, which is a process in which the body generates heat in order to increase tissue temperature. Epinephrine has a myriad of possible uses, including regulating body temperature and producing short-term memory.

Peptides for bodybuilding: Uses and side-effects - Sentinelassam - The Sentinel Assam

Peptides for bodybuilding: Uses and side-effects - Sentinelassam.

Posted: Tue, 22 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT [source]

Testosterone and other anabolic steroids are commonly prescribed to treat many ailments including acne, benign prostatic hyperplasia, benign prostatic hypertrophy, and prostate cancer. However, the adverse side effects of these androgens lead to increased risk of osteoporosis, kidney stones, heart disease, decreased sex drive, low testosterone levels, and increased risk of sexual dysfunction in men. There is an increased risk of prostate cancer associated with anabolic steroids use, especially when used for prolonged periods. Some of the side effects include increased risk of stroke, increased risk of prostate cancer, impotence, depression, and kidney failure.

Triple Quadrupole Mass Spectrometer.

Sarms has gained popularity as an alternative treatment for andropause, menopause and peri-menopause. It is said that sarsaparilla, a tropical plant, has been used since ancient times for the relief of ailments like mood swings, depression and irritability. Various cultures across the world have different beliefs about sarmae. But in America, the medicinal properties of sarm is known since the early 1900's. There are various reasons for its popularity as an alternative treatment.

Where do antimicrobial peptides come from?

Non-ribosomally synthesized peptides are found in bacteria and fungi. These antimicrobial peptides are assembled by peptide synthetases as opposed to ribosomal-supported synthesis. Gramicidin, bacitracin, polymyxin B, and vancomycin are examples of non-ribosomally synthesized antimicrobial peptides.

There are many ways peptides can benefit the body, but it is important to remember that not all peptides are alike. Some have more positive effects than others. Peptides can provide a healthy way to help the body recover from injuries and illnesses, but it is important to choose the right type of peptide. Research is ongoing, and researchers are working to identify even more types of peptides that could have new healing qualities. In the meantime, peptides can provide a safe and natural way to boost health.

Efficiency.

Peptides are needed to allow the body to keep itself healthy and functioning properly. They also play a role in many bodily functions and are essential in the production of antibodies. Peptides also aid in the formation of hormones and vitamins and are used by the body to break down and absorb food. Peptides can also stimulate the immune system and boost the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract, blood and bone marrow.

The service life of peptide solutions is restricted specifically for peptides having C, M, N, Q, and also W.

For peptides with a solubility problem the complying with guidelines may verify helpful.

Avoid using frost-free fridges freezer, which vary significantly in temperature level during the regular automated defrosting cycles.

https://provensarms.com/2020/11/20/purchase-sarms-online-research-product-provider-uk-provensarms-com-2020/ with wetness will substantially decrease long term stability of solid peptides.

There is no optimal solvent that will certainly solubilise all peptides whilst keeping their honesty and also being compatible with biological assays.

It might confirm necessary to make use of a series of progressively effective solvents up until the peptide liquifies.

To extend the storage life of peptides in solution, clean and sterile barriers with a pH of around 5-6 ought to be used.

Sarms have been in use for over 60 years. In this article we are going to take a quick look at what they are and how they may impact you. Selective androgen receptor modulators, or SARMs, are a new class of selective androgen receptors. They are used for various medicinal purposes including the treatment of prostate cancer. So what are the benefits and what do they do?

Distinguishing Between Historical Sheep And Goat Bones Using A Solitary Collagen Peptide.

The most commonly prescribed form of SARMs is diethylstearine (DTG). This works by binding with androgen receptors and increasing their affinity to the pituitary gland. This means that instead of binding to and increasing the amount of testosterone, the binding affinity for androgen is increased. It also means that DHT cannot bind to the same receptor in men and women, so it will not interfere with the anabolic steroids like testosterone can. This is because of the different molecular structures between androgens and estrogen. However, when compared to the effects on Testosterone, DHT is actually weaker than testosterone.

New peptide can target specific pathogen without damaging the good bacteria - News-Medical.Net

New peptide can target specific pathogen without damaging the good bacteria.

Posted: Thu, 07 Jan 2021 05:26:00 GMT [source]

Athletes comprise a large part of the population exposed to the most harmful of the anabolic steroids. Although there have been few studies on the effects of steroid use on athletes, most health risks remain unchanged from those associated with long-term use of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAIDs). NSAIDs like Aspirin and Naproxen decrease inflammation, thus reducing the risk of athletes using them to recover from injuries. Studies done on athletes reveal that these drugs decrease exercise performance, cause decrease in red blood cell count and increase heart rate. Long-term use of these medications can result in weakening of the bones and increased susceptibility to fractures.

Peptide Adjustments.

Peptides are also thought to aid in the prevention and treatment of diabetes. In addition to helping regulate blood glucose levels, the adrenals can produce and secrete corticosteroids. Corticosteroids are known for their anti-inflammatory properties, which may explain the link between high-quality peptides and lower rates of inflammatory diseases like arthritis and colitis. In addition, some peptides, like hyaluronan, may help build the body's resistance to HIV.

When should you start using peptides?

Experts agree that skin starts to age around 20 years old, and recommend that you start the road to prevention early. “I recommend my patients to start incorporating anti-aging skin care products in their 20s and 30s, when our skin slowly starts to lose collagen,” says Y.

Many therapeutic effects of sarm are attributed to its androgenic effect (androgen). Testosterone regulates many functions in the body such as bone mass, hair growth, sex drive and muscle growth. In fact, testosterone is converted into estrogen by a process called tissue selective estrogen metabolism. Tissue selective estrogen metabolism inhibits the conversion of testosterone to estrogen and enhances the synthesis of estrogen by the liver. Therefore, increasing the level of estrogen in the blood stream is a key role of sarm.

While experts believe that peptides do help boost the immune system, they are unsure exactly how. Animal studies have shown that peptides can boost the body's natural killer cells. This cell type fights and kills cancer cells. Another study found that peptides can slow the progress of prostate cancer. However, more research is needed to understand whether these supplements can slow or stop the growth of tumors.

While there is extensive research on the benefits of peptides, very little is known about their effects when absorbed directly into the body. Peptides are generally found in large quantities in animal proteins, especially meats and dairy products. However, peptides can also be found in plant-based foods, including fruits and vegetables. Eating large amounts of these types of foods can help supply the body with as much peptide nutrients as it needs.

It is also not clear why Sarsaparilla acts on the anabolic steroids and not on the estrogen receptors, since both these substances tend to stimulate hormonal secretion. More research is needed to determine whether or not Sarsaparilla can adversely affect the absorption of estrogen by the intestines and whether it interferes with the body's metabolism of anabolic steroids. Currently, there is only one scientifically documented case in which Sarsaparilla appears to have an effect on the absorption of estrogen; this case involves the use of human menopausal women with breast cancer undergoing chemotherapy. More research will have to be conducted to assess the effects of Sarsaparilla on the metabolic rates of healthy women in various stages of their lives.

There are two major categories of peptides - those that are naturally made and those that are man-made. Peptides that are naturally made to occur in the body in the digestive tract, bloodstream and some immune system cells such as white blood cells. Man-made peptides include synthetic peptides used in certain medications. While peptides derived from plants and herbs are considered dietary supplements, peptides that have been synthetically produced are not. While both types are important, research has shown that dietary supplementation can be more beneficial to overall health.

Biomarkers of biological exposure to banned anabolic substances are required in order to accurately document adverse health effects caused by these drugs. Biomarkers of exposure to synthetic steroid hormones such as Winstrol and Anabolicines include but are not limited to changes in body temperature, heart rate, blood pressure, changes in body weight and muscle appearance. Users of Sarsaparilla, Anabolicin and other anabolic steroids often develop symptoms similar to those of chemotherapy patients: headaches, lethargy, lack of energy, joint pain, constipation and vomiting. While these side effects are relatively mild, they may represent genuine biological problems caused by the abuse of these compounds. Sarms are known to contain low levels of anabolic steroids but high concentrations of the toxic substance parathyroid hormone (PTH).

Theoretically, the use of Sarsaparilla and other herbal remedies should not affect the production of PTH. However, in case of serious health problems such as cancer, kidney disease and osteoporosis, doctors usually advise their patients to avoid oral extracts containing sarsaparilla. In general, however, it is suggested that men and women who intend to use this herbal remedy should consult a physician before doing so. Another related compound, Bromalite, is known to have very negative side effects in some patients. It is not clear how these mineral ions affect PTH or whether these mineral ions act on the prostate gland directly or indirectly.

Natural sources contain no or little risk of side effects unlike synthetic drugs. However, synthetic drugs can have severe side effects like heart attack, stroke, blood clotting, rheumatoid arthritis, breast cancer and even diabetes. With increased risk of side effects, there is also an increased risk of depression, impotence, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, high blood pressure and breast cancer. In women, estrogen pills can cause hot flashes and breast tenderness. Estrogen pills also increase the risk of breast cancer.