#my mom watched anatomy of a fall and we were talking about it

[milfbro]

gonna do my upper body workout listening to P.I.M.P. so that I can get the strength to push my garbage failhusband over the ledge while holding a very large piece of wood and htting him over the head with it to his death

[she-karev]

Baby’s First Birthday (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

AN: Hey guys, so I’ve been posting less because I just started fall classes and you know how those can go so I’m gonna try to do holiday chapters for my blog. And one of those is a birthday party so enjoy, reblog, let me know what you think.

Summary: Andrew and Amber celebrate their daughter Lucy’s first birthday with a small party attended by their family and friends.

Words: 1003

October 20th, 2023

“Tanti auguri a te.” Andrew DeLuca sings as he walks towards his daughter carrying a plate of pancakes with whipped cream topped with a lit single birthday candle.

His now 1 year old daughter is inside her highchair looking at her birthday breakfast with a wide smile. Meanwhile his wife and mother of his child, Amber DeLuca nee Karev, is by the chair filming everything on her phone with a smile for the birthday girl.

“Tanti auguri a te, tanti auguri a Lucia, tanti auguri a te!” He finishes the Italian song and places the plate in front of Lucy who looks at the candle mesmerized.

Amber chuckles while still filming, “And in case you were wondering your daddy was singing Happy Birthday in Italian even though you don’t speak it yet.”

“Oh but she shall.” Andrew says with confidence before leaning down smiling at their daughter who is staring at the pancakes, “Si, lo farai. You shall.”

Amber shakes her head amused before turning her attention to their daughter, “Make a wish sweetheart.”

Andrew helps Lucy blow out the candle on top of the pancakes causing Amber to yay before putting her phone down. Lucy scoops up whipped cream on top with her hands before putting it in her mouth to eat. Amber and Andrew smile at the sight overcome with love for their little girl who is growing up before their eyes.

“How did a year go by so fast? It feels like only yesterday I was holding her in my arms after the 8 hours of labor and pain.”

Andrew grins knowing the feeling as well, “I think the crying and diaper changing sped up time somehow. You’re a year old now bambina how does it feel?”

Lucy is too busy eating the whipped cream to give her dad the time of day to her mom’s amusement who cuts up the pancakes so her one-year-old can safely eat them.

“And there’s plenty more to come tonight at your birthday party yay!”

“Yay! You get to see everyone, your uncles, your aunts, your cousins and you get to eat cake, aren’t you excited?”

Amber smiles helping Lucy feed herself, “I think she’s more excited about all the toys she’s gonna get from doctors who don’t have a budget. I know we are.”

“Amen bella.” Andrew kisses the top of his daughter’s brunette head happy to celebrate this momentous occasion with his family.

That Night

Kiddie music plays throughout Andrew and Amber’s house that is decorated with a fairy tale theme. There are streamers, balloons and plates with Disney princesses on them and colorful sweets that the guests enjoy as they wait downstairs for the party girl to come with her parents. Alex and Jo are talking to Maya and Carina on the couch while their kids, Liam and Luna play with each other by their feet.

The sound of stairs descending snaps the guests’ attention as they watch the happy parents bring the birthday girl down to her party. Amber DeLuca smiles at their friends and family wearing a white dress while Andrew has a beige suit with a while shirt under. In Andrew’s arms is their daughter who is looking especially pretty with her short wavy brown hair pulled back with a pink headband that matches her pink silk mesh dress.

Andrew and Amber approach their respective siblings on the couch where they each give Lucy a birthday hug and kiss. Lucy giggles and waves her little chubby hands around as she’s passed around by her uncle and aunts. Maya gives a painful chuckle as her baby niece pulls her long hair down making Carina laugh before gently extracting Lucy’s grip. Alex makes a playful fart noise against his niece’s cheek causing her to giggle. Jo does the same unable to resist before giving her a big fat kiss on her chubby little cheek and handing her back to her parents who smile at the attention their daughter is getting so far.

They carry Lucy from person to person who all greet the small and happy girl with smiles and happy birthdays. All of their friends and colleagues from the hospital are at this party mingling and celebrating this milestone of Lucy DeLuca’s. The only people absent are Jackson Avery and April Kepner who more than made up for it with a mini ball pit that arrived yesterday along with a check for 5000 dollars for the college fund that Amber and Andrew started for Lucy.

After posing with Lucy for the cake and watching her scoop it up and shove it in her face, Amber picks up the 1-year-old from the highchair allowing the guests to mingle again. She approaches Andrew with a very happy, cake faced baby in her arms who ruins her moms expensive dress with pink frosting. Amber doesn’t care as the only thing that matters right now is ending her daughter’s birthday with the father of her child who also made sure this party would go off without a hitch.

Andrew chuckles at his messy daughter who smiles at her daddy and leans in to give him a big hug. He grins warmheartedly at the sight before wrapping his arm around his wife’s waist and pulling her closer. Amber smiles up at him thankful her daughter has a father who loves her and wants to give her the happy childhood neither of their fathers gave them.

“We love you.” Amber says softly, “Thank you for today.”

Andrew kisses the top of her head pulling back with a grin, “I love my girls.”

Lucy stretches her arms out to her dad wanting him to hold her which of course he can’t resist. Amber helps her daughter giving her to her daddy who opens his arms ready to take the bundle of joy. Lucy wraps her chubby arms around his neck and leans her cheek against his, which melts her parents’ hearts. They hold their daughter happy to give her a perfect first birthday.

[jackszegras]

Nightly Duty- Trevor Zegras

I’m laying in bed as i watch my phone buzz from Jack calling me.

“Yes Rowden?” I sighed as I hear him and a couple other boys giggling in the back.

“Me and the boys are going to stop at Sonic before dropping everyone off, do you want anything?” Jack asks basically yelling in my ear from how loud the boys were being.

“Uhhh….just get me a slushy please. Maybe some onion rings with barbecue sauce.”

“So basically your usual…?” Jack questions. “Yes goober, thank you.” I hang up the phone and put my phone back down while I finish watching Greys Anatomy.

About 20 minutes later I hear Jacks car pull in the driveway. There wasn’t a lot of talking so I’m assuming he didn’t invite the boys to stay the night.

Jack walks upstairs to my room and hands me my food. “Thank you Rowd-“ I get stopped in the middle of my sentence by Trevor running into my room.

“So where’s the life changing skin care products located?” He asks laughing.

“Did you guys seriously only get me food so that I will do your skin care?” I say laughing putting my slushy on my nightstand.

“Perhaps, we thought it could happen since you know. We won the game, we deserve special treatment.” Jack yaps on about.

“Yeah yeah, whatever goobers. Go take showers and I’ll think about it.” I stuff an onion ring in my mouth while Jack wobbles his way out of my room dramatically. Trevor stays behind.

“So, what’s your show about?” Trevor gets up from my desk chair and sits next to me so he can see my tv better.

“Doctors!” I dramatically gasp looking at him.

“No like, actually tell me about it.” He looks at me laughing.

I rant on about Greys until Jack gets out of the shower and then Trevor goes and takes one and while Trevor is gone, Jack tells me about the game.

Trevor walks in the door, “Okay I’m ready to be girly pop.”

I shake my head and walk over to my vanity and get all my skincare products out.

“Trev, you’re first. Let’s go.”

Trevor walks over to my bed and lays down and puts his head in my lap. Jack stands up while looking at his phone.

“Hey, Quinn said mom wants me and him to go to the store to get some food for Dads birthday dinner. I’ll be back later.” Jack walks out of the room without even inviting Trevor to go with him.

I continue to put the headband over Trevors head. “Do you do this every night, before bed?” He questions, looking up at me.

“Most of the time when I don’t fall asleep.” I smile, putting the skin care products on his face.

After 10 minutes of just talking and me doing Trevors skin care, me and him both have a face mask on watching Grey’s Anatomy. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he still seems to be paying attention.

Trevor has always been really clingy to me. Jack thinks it’s because he has a crush on me. I think he just thinks of me as a little sister, even though we are the same age because me and Jack are twins.

Trevor moves over closer to me and without thinking I lay my head on his chest, making sure my face is still up from the face mask being on. His fingers run up and down my arm, drawing hearts with his finger tips.

Without knowing how tired I was, I fell asleep in Trevors arms and woke up to being curled up to my stuff animal shelly the turtle.

I look around at my tv and see my clock sitting on my tv stand and it’s 4am. I don’t see Trevor or Jack in sight. Must have left while I hit snooze for a bit.

I check my phone and I see texts from Trevor and a story mentioned on my private spam account on instagram from Jack.

I open my phone to see, Jack posting a picture of me and Trevor cuddled up. Trevor texted me telling me he really enjoyed our time together and hope to do it again.

Maybe Jack isn’t wrong, maybe I feel the same way.

——————————————————————————

This is so bad, but I’m just starting to get back into all of this writing stuff so hear me out guys. I hope you enjoy and I might do a p2 to this but idk.

Hope you guys all have a good day!!

[unreal-unearthing]

Hi, I know you like the character of Benson Kwan from Grey's Anatomy, I like him too and I would love for you to tell me your opinion about him and what you understand about him based on what the show has shown us and that clearly adds up to the things you assume and believe about him or any headcanon as well.

And sorry I know it says there ask a question and I didn't really ask anything, but I think it is understood that it is a request and you can refuse it. Also I'm sorry if what I write doesn't make sense or is poorly written, english is not my first language and I do what I can.

Haha, no problem. Thanks for asking, I love talking about grey’s. And I’m really enjoying the new intern class, but I think with blue the show and fandom are doing him pretty dirty.

I’ve posted some thoughts about him before:

I’d add to this that I think eventually the show is going to have to reckon with that contradiction in his character. He can be a bit of a shark (to use the show’s terminology) with the other residents, but is almost always kind and empathetic with the patients and their families. I think he’s going to have to really work thru how much his mom’s death changed him.

Other thoughts I’ve had about him and where I wish they’d take his character:

I think he’s probably a profoundly lonely character. He said it was always just him and his mom, so I don’t think he has any other family after she died.

And in the most recent episode we found out he went to Yale before having to move home (wherever that was?) when his mom’s cancer got bad. And then the only med school he could go to was in the caribbean and then he moved to Seattle for his residency. He’s moved around a lot and seems to keep people at arms length. So I don’t think he has any friends, really? When we wanted to check out a new bar in his neighborhood it seemed like Jules was the only person he could ask, and she said no.

I’d like to see them write him a good non-romantic relationship - either with a mentor or a friend. He needs to have arcs with someone besides Jules (I actually do like their relationship, I’m just tired of it being the only thing he’s got going on.) Him/Schmitt/new peds attending could be an interesting dynamic, now that we know Schmitt wants to do a peds fellowship. I also think him and Simone could be good friends if the show would let them (they have so much in common- they were both highly competitive, top-of-their-game types who had a sudden fall from grace)

(Also, idk if you watch station 19, but they’ve announced that it’s their last season, and I think they’re probably going to find a way to write Ben back into grey’s. I think they might have him come back to finish his residency, and I think they’d be a funny duo (think of how ben was with Edwards, for example)).

Also, I actually can’t remember if they said anything specific about his dad (if he died or left or whatever) just that he was raised by a single mom, so I think that could interesting as well. Like his dad coming in as a patient and him having to confront how angry he is at being left to deal with his moms cancer on his own would be classic grey’s.

[kinardsevan]

10 TV Shows

Tagged by @v88sy. Please feel free to join.

Veronica Mars

I love a lot of procedurals, but this one found me at 19 and stole my soul. I love Kristen so much and refuse to accept that the final few minutes of season 4 exists. This is my ultimate rewatch, s1 all the way through. (Still haven't finished s4 though because of its ending).

2. Castle

Again. 19. Found this one in the same year, found out it was a crime procedural with a writer as the protagonist. SIGN ME THE FUCK UP.

3. Law and Order (original recipe)

I've only seen from s13 on because of the limitations with NBC streaming options, but I do love Jack. Dick Wolf found lightning in a bottle with this franchise.

4. Criminal Minds

(have we sensed a theme here yet?)

Guess when I found this one? (Still 2011.) My mom loved Shemar Moore on Y&R when I was a kid, so starting this one was easy. She doesn't get into the borderline gore and horror of CM though, so she'll really only watch the lighter episodes. Me? Seen everything up through 15 (school and work have kept me too busy for 16 yet).

5. 9-1-1

SOMETHING FROM AFTER 2011?! Found this one in the pandie. My best friend was watching it (we'd talked about it a few times from what I recall), and I know my mom was already into it and I had plans to watch it, but I was already in school, and 2019/20 was rough on my mental health between my job closing its doors, the pandemic starting, and me being back in school. Buck has literally always been my favorite. He's who I relate to most, and given the focus I put into the most recent rewatch, it's obvious why. We have a lot of things in common, both personality-wise and with childhood trauma. That all said, I've had spurts and starts with this baby. Started it in 2020, got caught up. Went through the mess of school taking over my life and falling off here and there, playing catch-up. I know I was fairly caught up in season 6, but post-infection with the brain damage, I kinda had to do the full rewatch this year.

6. Grey's Anatomy

Quite literally grew up with this one. My aunt told my mom, who told us, and then by season 3, the whole family was watching. I fell off for a beat when Mark died (he was my favorite), but then really fell off when Derek died. Only started playing catch up when I found out about Nick and the fact that Ellen wanted to leave the show. I knew they'd give her a happy ending (of sorts), which drove me to watch everything I'd missed (plus my mom still watched even when I quit, so I knew about Deluca, who she loved).

7. Nashville

Loved this one basically from the jump. Anything with music has the opportunity to steal my soul. It's also one of the reasons I can't get into the hate for Abby on 9-1-1. This show made me loved Connie Britton too much.

8. Schitt's Creek

So this one 😂😂😂 I think I started Schitts Creek three(?) separate times? Never got into it. The humor was too dry, I didn't really feel anything about it all, and...idk. It was just not my cup of tea.

And then my life went to shit 😂😂😂 In all seriousness though, this was one of those shows that I can point to and say "this one saved me". The way it made me laugh in the face of some really unimaginable pain and an existential crisis is something I will never forget. Definitely due for a rewatch this summer.

9. One Tree Hill

So. I started this show in season 2. Went out of my way to watch it after starting The OC halfway through both shows inaugural seasons. Literally everyone I knew didn't give two craps about this show then. They didn't care when it was nearly cancelled after season 4, and how hard the fans fought for season 5. Most of them didn't even really care after season 6 when CMM and Hilarie Burton were cut from the show. Nah, most of the people I know found OTH when it hit streaming a few years ago. I have complicated feelings about it now, given what we know about how MS treated the girls, and all of the trauma inflicted on them. I know that SB, HB, and BJL all support us still watching, but it's rough for me to contend with that even so.

10. Pretty Little Liars

So..... I haven't watched this since it ended. It started when I was 17/18, so I was easily sucked in by the teacher/student concept and fell in love with Ezria. I also had watched American Juniors and knew who Lucy was (and subsequently lusted after her making music for AGES; still do). However, being a full-fledged adult now with babies in school (my niece is in HS now), I can't justify how problematic this ship is.

BONUS:

11. Instant Star

Soooo a generous chunk of people know who Tim Rozon is now because of Schitts Creek and Wynona Earp, but have they seen this baby? Because I started this one after remembering Alexz Johnson from So Weird when she eneded up on IS in 2004. This was the show that got me through the end of of middle school and into high school, and I still listen to the music occasionally. I've done a few rewatches of it as an adult, and while I still don't like the age difference, these two at least waited until she was 18.

[bitchyfoxymama]

Make Room For It - Karev x F!Reader

Ahhh my first Grey's Anatomy Post!!! And it's for my fav Peds Doc!! 😍 I hope you enjoy this I was consistently watching til around season 6 then stopped but have been popping in when my mom and sis watch rn just to check in on my babies.

WARNINGS: Spoilers for Grey's Anatomy season 8 episode 24, mentions of the incident, fluff, depression

********

Empty, numb, heartbroken, all things you felt since you found out about the plane crash and the fact that Lexi wasn't here anymore. You had a stupid fight the night before about forgetting to do your laundry and her scolding you. 

You never said "I love you" to her before she left along with Mer and the other on that stupid surgery. You were so stupid! Stupid to let a stupid fight from telling your sister you loved her. 

You had Mer sure and you were so grateful to still have her but you and lexi grew up together, your bond was stronger, she was your person, quiet like Christina was Merideth's. 

The point is that you were grieving, work became hard, you would make small slip ups, forgetting why you'd enter a room or forgetting the patient's name. It all became too much so you took an early lunch and fled to one of the on-call rooms, locking it with shaking hands. 

You slide down the door and just let all the emotions you've been keeping inside finally free, all the guilt, regret and sadness fall from your eyes. When you had run off what you didn't notice was a certain intern had seen you rush past. 

You were pulled out of your crying session when there was a knock on the door. 

"THE ROOMS IN USE!" You shout, but another knock comes again. Your annoyed now, you mind going on how you want to scream at the person whose interrupted your much needed cry time, but before you can get up a voice comes through the closed door. 

"Hey, it's uh me. Look I know I'm probably the last person you wanna talk to right now but will you just let me in?" Of course it's Alex. 

You've been seeing him on and off again for a few months, but have since stopped since the accident. 

You get up and slowly unlock the door before going to sit on one of the beds while he gently opens the door and locks it once more. 

"I saw you run in here and had to check in on you" he says as he comes to sit next to you on the bed, placing a hand on your knee. 

"Thanks but I'm fine really, you didn't need to come check on me Alex," you quickly wipe away your tears. 

"Yeah well I care about you, and seeing you run in here upset alone, well I had to help you," he says pulling you into a hug. The contact made the tears fall once more. You didn't know how much you needed the comfort of a person. You hadn't gone to Merideth since but having Alex hold you while you cried, triggered something inside of you. 

The sobs wrecked through your body as you gripped tightly onto his scrubs.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" You cry out. 

"No, you just make room for it" he says rubbing his hand down your back. 

Your crying session continues until you are both paged, you look up at him, eyes red and puffy. 

"Oh no, I got your scrubs all icky and gross," you wipe your face. 

"Ah it's fine I've had worse cover my scrubs, but we should probably answer this page," he says, giving you one of his award winning smiles. 

You both get up off the bed but before either of you can leave you pull him into a gentle kiss. 

"Thank you, for everything," you say as you walk out of the room. 

You leave him there with a smile upon his face. 

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

; good enough

© @pedropcl

lee bodecker x fem!reader.

summary. your father invited you to his birthday party and things ended badly.

words. about 2.3k.

warnings, tags. nsfw, +18!!! drunk state, language, unprotected sex, daddy!kink, very brief degradation, mention of bodily fluids, very brief mention of violence. and i think that's all.

a / n. first time writing for this man that has me obsessed, so i hope y'all like it! none of my writings contains reader's body descriptions to be inclusive. if you find something out of place, please send me a message and i'll change it.

You didn't want to be there, but it was your father's birthday and you couldn't miss it. More than thirty minutes had passed since the last time you saw your husband standing in a corner of the large living room, sipping from his glass of whisky and judging every guest around in silence. Lee hated your parents, your family, their friends. And you didn't blame him. Your family never accepted him, always repeating that he wasn't good enough for you, nor your interests. Except for your mom. She wasn't the only one who didn't treat him like dirt.

Once that you escaped from your father's arms, showing you as a trophy and trying to set you up on a date with one of his best friend's sons, you stepped out of the house to the back garden. It was cold outside, having to close your jacket around your chest as you closed both arms over it. Following the footprints on the grass, you reached the improvised parking where different cars were stationed. The smoke coming from nowhere called your attention, glimpsing Lee sitting on the hood of his black Ford. Cigarette in his left hand and bottle of whisky in his right.

You doubted for a second to interrupt his moment of peace for the first time in two weeks. Two long weeks where you barely had spent time together. He started holding over his shifts because, apparently, there was too much paperwork to attend. You couldn't help but think that he was raving mad about you, or about something you did unconsciously. But the real problem was that your husband never used to talk about his feelings or what was going in his mind.

“I think you've drunk enough”. You uttered watching him raise the bottle to his lips.

Lee chuckled ironically, shaking his head. “Lucky me I don' care”.

Frowning and with your mouth pressed closed, you walked towards his position to face him. He had never talked to you like that, but he was being honest, shrugging his shoulders to point it out a little more.

“I do. I do care”.

“Don' worry, darlin'. I ain't gonna shame you in front of your family”. He scoffed bitterly, finally sipping from his drink. “Watya' doin' here anyway? Party's indoors”.

“You're here tho”.

“And who fuckin' cares, uh? You were having so much fun inside with that… pretty boy who works in Wall Street”. Your husband mocked taking a drag from his cigarette. “We should divorce, don' you think? So you coulda go with him to the big city, and don' be stuck in… How d'your father call it? Knockemshit. Stuck with a… fat sheriff of a shitty town”.

Lee didn't notice the tears blurring your gaze till he raised his face. The bitter smile curving his lips suddenly disappeared, putting his pale blue eyes away from you because it was too painful for him to watch you cry. Your husband gulped hardly, kissing his teeth as he threw the cigar somewhere on the ground. You couldn't believe he really wanted to divorce you, wrapping your heart with a suffocating sorrow that barely let you breathe. He was your life and, after three years together, he seemed to not give a shit about it sometimes.

“I ain' like them”. You whispered sniffing.

“Tha' doesn' change the fact that you don' deserve a man like me. Your father is right. 'M a fucking loser compared to anyone inside his damn house”.

You loved Lee with all your heart, soul, mind, body. He was everything you want in your existence —your life. So damn obsessed with his touch, his kisses, his smell of wind and leather, his smile, that beautiful pair of pale blue eyes. You refused to believe he was talking seriously.

“You should be there. I— Imma go home, tell your mo—”.

Before your husband could finish his goodbye, you interrupted him by slapping his face. He didn't see that coming and you'd never imagine yourself hitting him. But you needed it, seeming the only way to stop him from abandoning you there. He kept his face away from you, trying to comprehend what had just happened. His drunkenness suddenly disappeared, pressing his inner cheek with the tip of his tongue whilst rubbing his hand over the reddened skin. You were so mad right now that you could set on fire the whole world.

And you were about to do it a second time when Lee caught your wrist in the air, painfully gripping his fingers around it to push you closer —chest against chest. Then, he raised his index finger. “Don' you fuckin' dare to try it again, y'hear me?”

You were furiously breathing, but not filling your lungs with air in reality, keeping your eyes on the blue ones that used to steal your heart every single day. It was like a contest of dominance you knew he always won. Any time.

Your husband didn't give you the chance to say sorry, slamming his lips on yours. A moan died in his tongue when it invaded your cavity while releasing your arm to fly his rough big hands to your ass, almost grabbing it all with his long fingers. Your digits went to the lapels of his leather jacket, not lasting too much there till finishing on the back of his head.

Lee was hungry for you, just like you were for him after two long weeks barely touching each other. Your husband devoured, sucked, and bit your lips, urging you to turn around enough to push you on top of the hood of his car. His hands pulled up the skirt of your dress, wanting to reach the waistband of your panties, receiving the great surprise that you weren't wearing any.

“You little dirty girl… Don' wantin' your Sheriff to lose time, uh?” He grunted with such an animal and eager tone, as he took care of the belt and the zip of his pants.

“I need you”. You sobbed against his lips, feeling his hands maneuvering between your legs.

At least, you were fast enough to cover your mouth with a hand when Lee rammed his rock dick into your soaked cunt, drowning in your palm a loud cry of pure satisfaction for being filled by your husband. Back and forth, he hit your body once and once, impaling you against the Ford still being furious by the way your father and friends treated him as if it was your fault. Lee was mad, really mad, digging his fingers in your hips to pin you on place and don't move, continuing fucking you harder and harder —challenging you to not be able to be quiet and make everybody heard how good he used to made you feel.

“Goddammit… you're so damn ti— tight, baby doll… So tight fo— for your daddy, ain' ya?”

“Yes… Yes, daddy”. You cried hiding your face into the crook of his neck.

His strong scent filling your lungs caused you to roll your eyes white, letting your soul leave your body while his cock attacked fiercely your pussy with no mercy. Your vocals were in sync with the screeching noise the car produced in every thrust straight to your guts. The pace was insane, intense than never before, and more pleasurable than you could imagine in your life.

Lee was aware how much you loved him, that you felt devotion for him. But sometimes —sometimes like those— he couldn't help but think he could lose you as soon as you realized who he was in reality. You didn't care. You weren't blind. You knew about his dirty laundry, his past, his sister (...). And you still wanted him with all your heart and body.

“Fu— Fuck, gonna put a… baby inside you”. He growled, wrapping his right around your throat to urge you to face him. “Y'want it, uh? D'you want dad— daddy to put a baby in that… beautiful belly?”

“Yes… please, Lee”. You whined with teary eyes, being too much pleasure for your body to handle. “Please, daddy… I wa— want you to… get me pre— pregnant with your child”.

Your husband's lips curved up in a petty smirk, pulling out from your dripping cunt, causing you to sob in disappointment. Lee managed to put you down on your shaky feet to turn you and force you to bend over the hood of his car. Ass upped, legs spread. He only took a second to stare at your glistening and abused folds in your arousal, prior to impaling you again. With a hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your head, your husband obligated you to arch your back as he continued banging your anatomy once and again.

At this point, you had forgotten your name, where you are, and if someone could hear how you cried pleased any time he crashed against your g-spot. It was a mix of pleasure and pain as Lee wasn't having any kind of compassion with your cunt, clenching unconsciously around his hard length. He knew then how close you were to cumming for him —because of him—, increasing the pace while you tried to find a place to put your hands on and find some balance to stay in place. As soon as the hand tangled in your hair landed back to your throat, you gripped five fingers around his wrist, enjoying the brief lack of air because of it.

“C'mon, my swe— sweet whore… Y'wanna cum for daddy, don't ya?”

His raspy and wrecked voice fell into your ear like an angelic melody, not being able to hold your moans anymore within your mouth. The knot inside your lower belly was bigger and bigger and suffocating, feeling how it could explode at any time. Lee shoved his cock non-stopping producing a sloppy obscene sound when his pelvis crashed against your ass, along the chink of his belt against the back of your thigh.

“Daddy… Daddy…” You called him while the tears started to fall again through your cheeks, this time, of absolute satisfaction.

You couldn't help but bite your lip strongly till the metallic taste of blood covered your tongue, letting yourself go as the knot bursted within your belly. The orgasm threw you above the edge with your husband's palm covering your mouth to not be heard or it would be really awkward to be caught by all the guests, even if he didn't care. He wouldn't mind showing that pretty boy from New York that nobody could fuck his little dirty girl better than himself. Oh, how funny it would be to see his face while your husband was ramming his cock into your abused pussy, cumming inside your tight walls, digging his teeth in your neck to mark his territory.

Lee came with a sensual and passionate hoarse gasp causing you goosebumps bristling your skin, burying himself balls deep to hold it inside the mix of your juices filling up your center. It felt like being in Heaven, although you weren't sure if you could walk after such an intense quickly, feeling your walls burning as his dick still twitching and stretching your cunt.

Your husband wasn't a man of kisses after sex, that's why he surprised you when tilted your face to his and pressed his lips on yours, panting, not caring about the lack of breath. It wasn't a lustful kiss either, more than a tender and fondly one, tasting your mouth, playing with your tongue.

Pulling out his semi-erection, Lee helped you to clean yourself with a tissue before using it to clean your arousal on him and toss it to the ground. As he put on his pants, you fixed your dress and your hair, turning around.

“You meant it?” You dared to ask, still having sorrow covering your voice. “Gettin' divorced… You mean it?”

“What?” He inquired, squinting confusedly until he realized what you were talking about. He chuckled holding your chin with two fingers. “You married me, darlin'. There's no other way you're gonna spend your life but with me. Willingly or not, you hear me?”

Lee raised both eyebrows very sure of his word before you nodded your head with a fleeting smile crossing your lips.

“Can we go home now…?”

“'S that what you want?”

You nodded your head a second time, while your husband placed his arms around you with hidden possessiveness to guide you back to your childhood's house. And of course, your father was enraged when you told him that you were leaving with your husband. He yelled at you and nobody tried to stop him till the moment he had the brilliant idea of pretending to lay a hand on you.

Lee punched him. Lee broke his nose. Lee made your father fall to the floor between the pretty boy's arms. And Lee never felt better in his whole damn life.

“Don't you ever come back to this house, if you leave now with this… bastard”.

“She doesn' need you”. Your husband cooed wrapping your neck with an arm, leaning slightly to borrow your purse. “Ma'am, my pleasure a see ya' again. The beef was delicious. G'night”.

You were yet processing what just happened, ashamed of the desire for your husband himself awakened inside you after watching him hitting your father. Lee could be a total asshole sometimes but one thing was undeniable: he loved you with all his heart and soul, he was obsessed with you since the very first time his oceanic eyes contemplated you walking down the street, smelling a bucket of roses you bought for yourself.

Never again you knew anything about your family. Not even when your son, called after your husband, was born. But you weren't sad. As Lee said, you didn't need them. You had your own family to take care of.

feedback is appreciated. if you enjoyed it, please leave a comment so i can know your opinion. reblogs are needed.

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[jobrookekarev]

The In-Laws

Chapter One of One

Words: 5970

Summary: When one of Meredith's dinner parties goes disastrously wrong, Meredith, Alex, Amelia, and Maggie go up to her room to drink and talk, while Jo, Link, Hayes, Winston, and the kids all hang out in the backyard as the in-laws talk together.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Meredith Grey/Cormac Hayes, Alex Karev/Jo Wilson, Atticus Lincoln/Amelia Shepherd, and Maggie Pierce/Winston Ndugu. 

Characters: Meredith Grey, Cormac Hayes, Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Maggie Pierce, Winston Ndugu, Amelia Shepherd, Atticus Lincoln, Zola Grey Shepherd, Derek Bailey Shepherd, Ellis Shepherd, Liam Hayes, Austin Hayes, Scout Shepherd-Lincoln, and Luna Ashton-Wilson.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences, 

Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Kids, Dinner Parties, Drinking (Mentioned), Babies, Pregnancy, Labor, Ice Cream, and S’mores. 

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: I've had this one in my draft box for a long time and I finally just got around to finishing it. I hope you all enjoy it.

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“Hey, good you're all here,” Meredith said as she came and the attending’s lounge.

Everyone was eating lunch. Link and Amelia were with Scout in a highchair next to Cormac, while a pregnant Jo and Maggie sat on the couch with Winston, Alex, and Luna. 

“So, as you all know, Carolyn, Derek's mother, is coming to town next weekend,” Meredith said, folding her hands together as she stood in front of the group.

“Yep, we've got it all planned out,” Link said, as he offered some of his pasta to one-year-old Scout. “We’ll have a dinner party, where she will get to meet her new grandson, and the other kids get to play with Grandma before following up with desserts and a quick exit, short, simple, and fun.”

“And our emergency get away excuse is an MVC in the ER with encephalitis and multiple broken bones,” Amelia said with a smile as she fed Scout another spoon full of applesauce.

“Either that or Jo going into labor, it depends on the situation,” Link said as he and Jo exchanged a look of agreement.

“We have a secret text code and everything,” Jo said as she nodded and she rubbed her eight-month pregnant belly while Alex bounced Luna in his arms.

“I, for one, am looking forward to meeting your ex-mother-in-law,” Cormac said with a smile as he looked over at Meredith. 

The two of them had been dating for a little while, and although things were still new they were beginning to introduce each other to the other’s extended families. 

“Well, plans have kinda changed,” Meredith said, a little hesitant before she dropped the bomb on them. “Your sisters got word of Carolyn's trip, and now Nancy is tagging along with her family, kids and all.”

“Nancy is coming!” Amelia said, putting down the spoon and sitting up.

“I've met Nancy. Are you sure this is a good idea?” Link asked, looking between Amelia and Meredith. 

“Yeah, she did spend the entire time she was here calling me a slut,” Meredith countered despite the hesitant look on her face. 

“This is bad,” Amelia said as she started to freak out. “Nancy is the worst of them all.”

“She also wants her kids to spend more time with their cousins,” Meredith argued. “And I don't think she'd do anything too bad with the kids around.”

“So you're okay with her comparing her perfect kids to our four messy kids because that is exactly what she's going to do,” Amelia said, pointing the spoon at Meredith to make her point. 

“Well, Luna's a bit fussy, so we should go put her down for a nap,” Alex said despite the completely calm baby in his arms as he got up off the couch and pulled Jo up with him. 

“Wait, just hang on for a second,” Meredith said to him, holding up her hand.

“Why none of this concerns us?” Alex said, of course, as Meredith’s best friend, he was willing to go to dinner with her and her family, but not if he could avoid it.

“Well, I was hoping to make a dinner party out of it and extend the invitation to you, Jo, Maggie, and Winston as well,” Meredith said, plastering on a smile and trying to seem like it was a good idea.

“No, that is a terrible idea,” Jo said, looking over at her wide eyed.

“It can't be that bad, I’ll make my lasagna, and I think it would be nice to meet Derek's mom and his other sisters,” Maggie said with a shrug, that jostling Winston from where he had pressed his head against her five-month pregnant belly. “Sorry, honey.”

“My other sisters are nothing like Derek and I,” Amelia added angrily, staring at the applesauce before Link put his arm around her shoulders.

“Exactly,” Jo said, nervously rubbing her belly. “And besides, every time we have a dinner party at your place, it ends in disaster.”

“That's not true,” Alex said, only for Jo to give him a look. 

“Oh really, what about the dinner party a couple of years ago where Callie brought Penny?”

“That was an extenuating circumstance,” Meredith countered.

“What about that game night that you tried to host two years ago? Half of you didn't show up, which I guess it's a good thing as I heard from Jackson that it was a huge disaster,” Jo said, waving her arm around gesturing to the magnitude of the disaster.

“Again, there were kind of extenuating circumstances there,” Maggie argued again before Jo cut her off.

“What about all the times we tried to get together the year Meredith was gone or that time your mom came into town and made lasagna. This group and dinner parties have a bad track record, and this is one train wreck that I do not want to be a part of.”

“Well, suck it up, Karev. You're part of the family now, and that means whether you like it or not, we are all going to at least attempt to have a nice time at this dinner party,” Meredith said, glaring at Jo before she looked over at everybody else. “So, is everyone on board?”

“I think we can make it work,” Maggie agreed with a nod from Winston. 

“I will help you cook, and I'm sure we can prevent any disasters,” Winston said, kissing Maggie's cheek before he leaned down and kissed her stomach.

“I'll be there,” Cormac said, getting up and putting his hand on Meredith's back. “And I'll do everything in my power to make sure things go over smoothly.” 

“What do you think?” Link asked as he looked over at Amelia.

“I am going to reserve my right to bail at a moment's notice and there better be cake,” Amelia said, pointing to Meredith, who nodded in a quick agreement.

“I think we can make it too,” Alex said, looking over at Jo for confirmation. “I’ll rub your feet and change all of Luna’s dirty diapers for a week.”

“Okay fine,” Jo said, crossing her arms before pointing a finger at Meredith. “But when everything goes to hell, and you, Alex, Maggie, and Amelia are all falling apart upstairs drinking and eating cake because shit hit the fan. I'm going to be in the backyard with your kids and getting them hopped up on candy.”

“You can't feed my baby candy Jo,” Amelia said, looking over at her.

“He’s a year old, I can feed him ice cream,” Jo countered, raising her eyebrow over at Amelia as Link laughed before Amelia silenced him with a look.

“Well, you better keep the candy in your car, Karev, because you're not going to need it. This dinner party is going to be great!” Meredith insisted as if she was trying to convince herself.

She gave Cormac a quick kiss before she left and Alex raced after her and followed her out of the room. 

“Are you sure that this is a good idea? I mean, I know your ex-mother-in-law is pretty nice, but Jo’s kinda right about our history with dinner parties.”

“It's just Carolyn, and she's on good terms with both Amelia and me, and Nancy has promised to be on her best behavior,” Meredith insisted with an optimistic smile that definitely looked out of place. “It's going to be great.”

It was not, in fact, great. 

Jo balanced the four cartons of ice cream in her arms. She pulled out the bottle of tequila from the fridge for Meredith and the bottle of sparkling cider for Amelia and Maggie and handed both to Alex. She slowly walked over to the drawer to grab a hand full of spoons and balanced the bowls in her other arm. Given what happened that night, she figured that all the kids deserve endless ice cream.

“Why don't I help you with those,” Alex said, he held Luna in one arm and reaching out to take the ice cream carton from her before she turned away.

“No, set Luna down, and go and take the drinks upstairs and comfort Meredith. She needs you right now. I got ice cream. I’m fine,” Jo said, shoving him off with her hips and a wave of her hand.

Alex tilted his head and smiled as he took the drinks and set Luna down. She toddled over to the back door, calling out for Scout. “Out, out?” 

“Lu Lu,” Scout called out to her as she giggled and waved her arms excitedly as she walked into the backyard.

She had started walking a few weeks ago, and since then, Jo and Alex could barely keep up with her. They knew that all of the adults and older kids outside would keep an eye out for her until Jo came out. They both watched Luna through the window for a moment as she and Scout met in a hug. 

“Are you sure it's okay?” Alex asked again, catching her before she moved to follow Luna as he reached out and placed his hands on her belly. “I should probably help you out with the kids, Mer will be fine with just Maggie and Amelia.”

“Alex, I told you it's fine. Meredith isn't stealing you away from me. You're helping out our friend now go,” Jo said as she grabbed the bowls and waddled towards the laundry room to head out to the backyard. 

“Are you at least going to say I told you so?” 

“Maybe next week, once the sting wears off,” Jo said as she turned around to look at him with a smirk before she opened the screen door. 

Jo waddled out into the backyard where Link, Hayes, and Winston, were calming down the kids. They were all upset at the things Nancy had said to Meredith, especially Zola. With the bowls in one hand and the ice cream in the other also balanced on her belly, Jo felt the baby kick against the ice cream shuffling the stack of cartons. 

“I know it's kind of cold, just hang on, squirt,” Jo said as she put the ice cream on the table and sat back in the lounge chair.

With extra reassurance, cuddles, and ice cream, the kids were doing better. Soon all of them were scattered around the yard. Zola was eating ice cream in the chair next to her while Bailey and Ellis were playing on the play center with Liam and Austin. Jo sat with her carton of rocky road as she fed Luna and Scout a spoonful. She watched her daughter and godson take in the cold treat with wide eyes and exciting squeals. As soon as they were finished with their bite, they would open their mouths and silently demanded more. Their little bodies were vibrating with the amount of sugar.

“Are you sure they're okay up there? What Nancy said was pretty harsh, maybe I should go talk to Meredith,” Cormac asked as he took a step towards the house.

“No, they're fine, trust me, if they wanted us up there, we would be, but they just need some time to talk it out amongst themselves,” Jo said, as she fed Luna another spoonful of ice cream.

“I just feel awkward and a little out of place standing around here. I know Meredith and I have only just started dating, but I feel like I should be there for her more,” Cormac said, staring down at his bowl.

“Yeah, I get that,” Link said, with a nod as he ate some of his own ice cream. “But you were there and stood up for Meredith in front of Nancy when it counted and she appreciates that, but now she needs time to complain about it with her brother and sisters.” 

“How long do you think before they're dancing out?” Jo asked, tilting her head up to look at the room where they were all probably still drinking.

“I give it thirty minutes tops,” Link said with a shrug. 

“Might be a bit more than that,” Winston said as he took a sip of his beer. “I know how Maggie gets when she's angry, she can rant for at least a half-hour.”

“Yeah, she's pretty good at bringing the thunder,” Jo said as they all chuckled. 

She looked around the backyard and smiled. A few years ago, it would have just been her heading back to the loft alone, maybe with Stephanie, maybe not, but now she had Link and Cormac and Winston. Alex, Meredith, Amelia, and Maggie had always been their own little family, and Jo now realized she had her own little in-law party tonight. 

“Hey, Aunt Jo,” Zola said, coming over with an empty bowl and putting it on the side table. “Can I use your phone and run inside and grab my speaker so we can have our own dance party?”

“You can use my phone Zola, I've got a really cool playlist I'm sure you'll like,” Liam offered, coming over and pulling out his phone and handing it over to Zola. 

“Yeah, that sounds fun,” Jo said before Zola ran inside to grab her speaker. 

“I hope this playlist of yours isn't too offensive?” Cormac warned Liam. 

“Relax. It's all clean music, I promise,” Liam said as he held up his arms in defense.

“They seem to be getting along pretty well,” Link noted as Zola came back out, and they set up the speaker together.

“Yeah, sometimes a little too well,” Cormac said as Liam and Zola giggled together.

The four of them sat there eating ice cream and talking as they watched the kids run around and dance to the music. It was so adorable to watch Scout and Luna dance to the music. However, it was a little embarrassing when Luna started twerking something Jo had definitely not taught her how to do. 

“Hey Liam, what song is this?” Link asked as he sat up his head lately bopping to the music.

“Um, It's,” Liam paused as he checked his phone. “It’s Sam Smith’s, Make It To Me.”

“Nice, I’ll have to add it to my playlist for tomorrow's surgery,” Link said as he added it to his phone as he looked over at her and raised his eyebrows. “A surgery you could get in on too, Jo. I need a general surgeon.”

“Or you could get in on one of my cases’ the next time I deliver a baby with a broken collar bone,” Jo suggested, smirking at him as she glanced back at Luna just in time to see when I reach for the bullet ice cream almost tipping it on to herself before Jo pulled it out of her reach. 

“Ah, that's more of just a Ped’s case,” Link said with a shrug.

“I don't know. It's always good to get a second opinion and you are the bone expert,” Cormac said, tilting his head at Link and taking a sip of his beer.

“Yeah, I just miss working with you. It seems like I never see you anymore,” Link complained with a pout. 

“I miss working with you too,” Jo said, sharing his pout. “But it's not like we don't see each other all the time. We still have our Wednesday night playdates and Waffle Sunday.”

“Yeah, but that's with the kids. It's never just the two of us,” Link said with a sigh as Scout came over to him and he picked up his son. “I love our kids, and I love that they're such good friends, but I miss having adult time with my best friend.”

“I miss you too,” Jo said, looking over at him. She rubbed her belly as she felt her baby move around inside of her. “Well, it's not just going to be the two of us, but why don't we carpool to work tomorrow and let Alex and Amelia drive the kids. Then we can get breakfast at the coffee stand before work.”

“Sounds good,” Link said as he gave her a fist bump. 

“Luna and Scout’s friendship is just so cute. They're definitely going to grow up and be best friends,” Winston said with a smile as he watched them play together on the grass. “I hope our baby has that.” 

“Don't worry, I got you,” Jo said, pointing at her stomach as all of the boys laughed. 

“Yeah, it's nice that all of our kids are around the same age and will be in the daycare together,” Winston said, walking over to sit next to her.

“You know, when Amelia told me she was pregnant, I kind of hoped that you and Alex would have a baby too so that our kids could grow up together,” Link that with a smile as he watched Luna and Scout dance together. The two of them had grabbed onto each other's arms and were swaying together. 

“Was this before or after you freaked out?” Jo said, raising an eyebrow over at him as the boys Winston and Cormac chuckled.

“It was an unplanned pregnancy. I think I'm allowed to freak out a little bit!” Link said, holding up his hand in defense.

“See, that's the hard thing about moving when your kids are older. They lose touch with their friends, but I’m glad Liam and Austin have always been able to make friends here, although I know they miss their friends back in Switzerland.” Hayes said as he watched his boys play with Zola and Bailey.

“Good friends always have a way of coming back to you,” Jo said as she and Link exchanged a smile. 

“Which is why you should scrub in on the surgery with me,” Link said as he leaned forward in his chair.

“I'll think about it,” Jo said, and she did mean it because as much as she loved OB, but there were parts of surgery that she did miss.

“What we need is a case that we can all work together,” Hayes said, leaning forward in his chair. 

“Oh yeah, that would be so cool,” Winston said as Jo and Link nodded. 

“It'd have to be a pretty specific case,” Jo said that she thought about it. “Like a baby with osteogenesis imperfecta and Mom with a bad heart or something.”

“We could probably all work together on a case with a mom and baby with Achondroplasia,” Link said as he snapped his fingers.

“Yeah, that could be possible,” Winston said, lifting his shoulder in a half shrug. “But that doesn't necessarily mean there's a heart issue.”

“It's going to be a needle in a haystack to find a case, but it would be fun for the four of us to work together,” Hayes said, crossing his arms.

“Well, I'll definitely keep an eye out and hopefully, we get to work together before the two of you go on maternity leave,” Link said, looking over at her and Winston.

“It might have to be after my maternity leave. I don't know how much longer this one's going to stay put,” Jo said as she rubbed her belly again when the baby kicked her. At 36 weeks along, she was ready to be done with her pregnancy.

“Speaking of which, did you and Alex finish the paperwork for your maternity leave.  Maggie and I went over it this afternoon, but it’s just so complicated. You think two world-class surgeons would be able to figure it out, but it's a little beyond us,” Winston said with a shake of his head.

“Yeah, Alex and I struggled with it when we took leave after we adopted Luna and we put in the paperwork for our leave this time around last month. If you want, I could go over it with you tomorrow at lunch,” Jo offered with a shrug, she remembered how dumbfounded Alex was with the paperwork the first time around, and the two of them had spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure it out.

“Yeah, thanks,” Winston said, clearly relieved as he relaxed back into his chair.

The four of them continued talking as they watched the kids dance. The warm evening sunset turned into a chilly evening, and they turned on the porch lights and started a campfire getting out marshmallows and making S'mores for the kids. It had been a few hours since the dinner ended and she could tell the boys were getting anxious. Yet, she wasn't too worried, and she knew how these things could go.

“They've been up there quite a while. Should we be concerned?” Winston asked, looking up at the window where the light was on, but none of them could see the shadows through the blind. 

Jo didn't realize that they were staring at her as she had her eyes closed and was breathing out and rubbing her stomach as she had a Braxton Hicks contraction. 

“Jo, are you okay?” Link asked, getting up and coming to sit next to her, putting his hands over hers on her belly. 

Jo smiled as her baby rewarded their Uncle Link with a soft kick against her belly. “I'm fine. It’s just another Braxton Hicks. I've been getting them more frequently these days. What did you ask Winston?”

“I just thought that maybe one of us should go up there and check on them?” Winston said, stared up at the window and absentmindedly picked at the paper on his beer bottle.

“It's probably best just to let them talk it all out,” Jo said as Link nodded in agreement. “Or else Meredith is going to end up in our bed tonight?”

“Wait, what?” Cormac asked, his eyebrows shooting up into his wrinkled forehead.

“Yeah, Meredith does this thing where she comes over to talk to Alex and crawls in bed next to us. She did it after you guys introduced the kids a few weeks ago,” Jo said before she took in Cormac's hesitant look. “Don't worry. It’s completely platonic, if not a bit annoying. They used to kick me out of bed while I was naked.” 

“Wait, you were naked?” Link asked, he had heard the story before, but Jo had left that detail out.

“Yeah, she used to toss me whatever shirt was lying on the ground and rip the covers off of me so she could sit next to Alex,” Jo said, waving her hand and trying to dismiss the conversation. 

“And Alex let her do that?” Link asked, and Jo could tell that he was shifting into protective big brother mode, so she put a hand on his chest and shook her head.

“Only because Alex was more of a pushover back then and Meredith trampled all over him. It's better now. These days she just crawls in bed next to me and steals all the blankets,” Jo said with a laugh as she remembered how Meredith had crawled into bed with them a couple of days ago. She had woken up in the middle of the night to pee, only to realize that she was sandwiched in between Meredith and Alex. 

“Yeah, she does this thing where she grabs the blankets and holds them close to her chest and almost to cocoons herself,” Cormac said with a soft smile on his face. “But sometimes, she'll share her cocoon with me.”

“Eww, Dad, we did not need to know that!” Austin said, making a face from where he was making a S’more with Bailey.

“Sorry,” Cormac said, holding up his hands. 

“Maggie does the same thing with her blanket, except she just rolls around when she's asleep until she's a burrito, and sometimes only her head sticks out,” Winston said, getting this far off look of love on his face. “Which is why I think we work together since I love the cold and sometimes only end up sleeping with a sheet.”

“I’m the opposite. Sometimes I’ll just spread out like a starfish. I kinda take up the whole bed, much to Amelia's annoyance, but she does the same thing too, and sometimes I'll wake up with her on top of me with her foot in my face,” Link said, yet he had a happy smile on his face. “So, of course, Scout does the same thing. That's why he loves the crib, as now he can stretch out. He's got to be able to starfish without any of his limbs touching sides.”

“Luna’s like me, she likes to curl up on her side, and Alex is a little in-between. Usually, he sleeps on his back straight as a plank, but then sometimes, I'll wake up, and he will have rolled over in the middle of the night to cuddle up against me. Which is nice, except for the fact that he runs hot, especially at night. It’s like a human sized furnace sleeping next to me. So I've got him up against my back and then this little one up in my ribs, and if she gets out of her crib, Luna will be up against my chest, and I'm trapped,” Jo said with a shake of her head as she affectionately rubbed her belly and smiled down at Luna who was asleep on her chest. 

“I like cuddling with you and Luna, Auntie Jo. You’re both so warm and snuggly,” Ellis said, joining the conversation as she came over and crawled up next to Jo and rested her head on her belly as Jo wrapped her arms around her. 

“I like snuggling with you too, Ellis,” Jo said, wrapping her arms around her and pressing a kiss to her forehead as Ellis’ eyes fluttered shut.

It was getting late, but it was also a Saturday, and none of the other kids seemed to mind the later hours as they kept playing and roasting marshmallows. Luna had passed out an hour ago, and after she passed out, Cormac took Ellis upstairs and put her to bed. Jo wished she could join them and fall asleep as well. The peaceful night lulled her to sleep, but her Braxton Hicks contractions kept her awake.

“Okay, maybe one of us should go and check on them. It’s getting pretty late,” Link said as he walked around the yard with Scout as he tried to get the toddler to sleep. 

“I doubt any of them are going to come out anytime soon. Most likely, they're still holed up in there with their drinks,” Cormac said, glancing up at the window as well. 

“We could fake an emergency? That would get them out,” Winston offered with a shrug.

“Yeah, we could say that Jo is in labor?” Cormac asked, raising his eyebrows over at her.

“Your Braxton Hicks were pretty strong earlier. How are you doing now?” Link asked, looking back at her in concern.

“I’m fine!” Jo insisted a little too loudly as Luna let out a sigh, but thankfully, remained asleep. Jo rubbed her hand up and down Luna’s back before she whispered. “They’re not so bad, but let’s not lie and say I’m in labor. I don’t want Alex to freak out again. A week ago, I had a few close Braxton Hicks contractions, and he was sure I was in labor. So he freaked out, running around and talking about all the baby stuff we didn't have yet.”

“Oh yes, I remember it was quite funny to watch,” Cormac said with a laugh, and the rest of the guys had a chuckle as well.

“Yeah, funny for you to watch. Not so funny for me to have to put up with. He was anxious for the rest of the night,” Jo said as she huffed and their chuckling tapered off.

“I’m sure I'll be calm when the time comes. We’ve got everything planned out, so I feel good about it,” Winston said, with a nod, looking sure about it.

Jo, Cormac, and Link all laughed before they exchanged a look. Jo glanced over to the older kids that were playing on the swing set. She didn't want to freak out any of the kids, but they were far enough away that it could work if they didn't play it up too much. So as Link came over to take Luna from her, Jo closed her eyes as she tended up and pretended to have a fake contraction. 

“Are you sure you're okay, Jo? That one looked a bit strong,” Cormac said after she pretended it passed and although he seemed a little too happy to be genuinely concerned.

“It was,” Jo said as she decided to pull out the fake tears, which was actually easier for her to do now that she was so hormonal and was something she absolutely did not abuse in any way. “Guys, I think it might be wise for one of you to go get Alex. I think I might actually be in labor.” 

“Oh my god,” Link said as he and Cormac rushed over to her, played along. Although when she looked up at Link, he was biting his lip to keep from smiling.

“Oh my god!” Winston said, jumping up from his seat and dropping his beer that spilled on the grass as he rushed over to her as well. 

“Alright, Karev, take it easy,” Cormac said as he came over and helped her stand up, letting her lean into him as she pretended to have another contraction.

“Okay, okay, nobody panic,” Winston said, holding up his hands, clearly panicking. “Okay, okay, we need towels, and hot water, and your hospital bag, and Dr. DeLuca, and the hospital!” 

Winston ran around the fire once before he started to head towards the house before coming back and then running back again. He ran around like a madman and Jo wasn't sure how long they should let this go. She didn't want to panic Alex or the kids, but it was so funny to watch. Cormac and Link could barely contain themselves, and Jo let out a cry of pain as she faked another one, biting her lip to contain her giggles. However just as Winston ran to go into the house, Link burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that he had to bend over and put down Luna to hold his sides. They all dropped the act and Jo stood up straighter and started laughing along. 

Winston paused still in his panic before catching on and glaring at them as he walked back over. “Okay real funny, guys.”

“Dude, the look on your face,” Link said as he imitated Winston’s look before adopting a high-pitched voice. “Oh my god! Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some Iodine!” 

“You were worse than Alex was,” Jo said, she had to lean into Cormac because the two of them were all howling with laughter. 

“I've seen a lot of panicked fathers in my time and it's never not hilarious,” Cormac said as he laughed so hard, he snorted. 

“What's so funny?” Bailey asked, coming over to them as they just continued giggling like school children. 

Winston set them with a glare as he sat back down and pouted in his chair. He swiped a new beer before picking up his old one and setting the empty bottle on the side table. Their laughter tapered off and Cormac helped Jo sit back down in the lounge chair as Link handed her Luna, who had thankfully slept through the whole thing.

“I don't be so hard on yourself,” Link said as he reached out to put a hand on Winston’s shoulder. “It's better to get it out of your system now than to be freaked out when Maggie really does go into labor.”

“Link’s right. When Maggie does go into labor, you need to take a deep breath and not panic because if you panic, she is going to panic, and that's the last thing both of you need,” Jo said with a smile as she shook her head. 

“Parenting is the most terrifying thing you could ever do, but if you come at it with a level head, you'll do all right,” Cormac said with a nod as he glanced over at his two boys.

“If you guys want a thank you for this little stunt, you’ll be waiting a long time,” Winston said with a shake of his head, but he smiled as they all laughed again.

The screen door slammed and startled all of them as they looked back to see Meredith, Amelia, Alex, and Maggie come out of the house. 

“Hi, Mom,” Zola said, running over to her and giving her a big hug. “I hope you're feeling better.”

“I am Zo Zo, and I see you’re doing good too,” Meredith said as she swung her arm over Zola’s shoulders as they walked over.

“We made S’mores and I saved one for you,” Zola said, holding one up for her.

“That's great, thank you,” Meredith said as she hugged her daughter before wobbling a little as Cormac caught her around her waist.

“Oh, the baby and I want a S'more,” Maggie said, her eyes going wide. Winston had got up to hug her and let her take his seat. “Do you think it goes well with cheese?”

Everyone chuckled as Amelia went over to Link, and he passed Scout over to her before wrapping his arms around her waist as they silently greeted each other with a kiss.

Finally, Alex came up to her, falling to his knees in the grass next to her as he leaned in and pressed his nose into her neck, getting tangled up in her hair. “Umm, your hair smells nice.”

Jo smiled as she turned to look at him. His eyes were glazed over and he had this big dopey smile. He leaned in to give her a sloppy wet kiss and she just giggled when he pulled back. She didn't mind that he was completely drunk because of how adorable and happy he looked.

“Come here,” Jo said as she gently scooted forward so as not to jostle Luna.

Alex climbed in behind her as he wrapped his arms around her, placing both of them on her belly as their baby rewarded their dad with a few kicks, and Alex giggled. “There's a fish in your belly.” 

“It's not a fish. It’s a baby,” Jo said with a laugh. “Remember, you put them in me.” 

“I did?” Alex said as she turned her head back to look at his wide eyed expression. “I love babies, and our baby is going to be so cute, just like Luna. She's so cute, Jo. Sometimes I just look at her, and my heart melts like, like ice cream. She’s like ice cream.”

“Yeah, she is,” Jo said as he ran his fingers through Luna’s short blonde hair. They settled in and she leaned her head back against his chest as he rested his chin on her shoulder. 

“How are you doing?” Jo caught Hayes asking Meredith as they stood by the fire while Zola made her another S'more.

Meredith gave a noncommittal response, but Amelia spoke up from where she was sitting with Link and holding Scout. 

“We talked shit, and they drank, and we danced, so we're doing a lot better,” Amelia said, giving Link a smile as she leaned in to kiss him again. “Thanks for looking after the kids and stuff.”

“Yeah, thank you,” Meredith added, looking around at all of them as she patted Hayes’s cheek.

“No problem,” Jo said with a shrug. “We kind of had our own little dance party too.”

“Did you have fun,” Alex asked, his voice hot in her ear. 

“Yeah, we did,” Jo said, looking around and catching Winston, Link, and Hayes’ eyes. “We had a lot of fun.”

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Is it wrong to lie to children?

A personal essay on reconciling with a shitty childhood and the question: is it wrong to lie to children?

It’s perplexing to have a shitty “unorthodox” childhood because initially I tried to throw out everything about It. Toss out the plumping and the rafters and the roofing, dispense of every single part of my upbringing I could get my hands on and not look back. Naturally, this approach didn’t work. It wasn’t even a real possibility. You’re still haunted by it, a ghost in the bones of a house, a foundation that remains long after the builders have left. That’s part of recovery too, to look at that ghost, to look at those bones, and keep saying: I see you, I see. I let you in. You sit with it and accept, accept, accept.

The really terrible part of this, the part where I don’t throw away the baby with the bathwater, is that you then have to raise the thing, deal with it. You have to do the hard work of parsing through the endless bits of self and placing them in “keep” piles and “discard” piles. I want to keep my mother’s kindness. I want to keep my father’s sense of humor. I want to discard the isolation. I want to discard the delusions.

But then there are these weird . . . “I don’t know” things. The things I am unsure if they helped me or hurt me. As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more and more of those “I don’t know” categories piling up. I’ve worked my way through most of the more obvious ones and now it’s all grey and mushy and as cloudy as a London winter. Recently, more than anything, I’ve been grappling with the fact my mother believed it was wrong to lie to children. She believed, in her flower-child way, that it was unethical in all forms.

I never believed in Santa Claus. I’m sorry to say I was a pretty obnoxious kid too because I would preach on the playground about how there was no Santa and there had never been any Santa. Which was a bit harsh, but in my defense I was under the impression these people were suffering from some sort of collective mass delusion. They were being lied to. And lying was wrong.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

I’ve known about sex since I was around 5 years old. I don’t remember why I asked, but it was something about where babies come from and so on. Most parents talk about a stork or love or some other abstract side-step. My mother described the anatomy to me and showed me a scientific diagram of the process. She told me that a sperm meets an egg and fertilizes it so the baby can grow. I learned most of this in scientific terms and was surprised when none of my middle school friends knew how a penis worked.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

When I was 9 or so our cat was eaten by a coyote. I asked my mom where he went and she said that he accidently got out the night before. She said they looked for him all morning, but it was too late. She didn’t use the word “gone” or “passed on” or “he’s in a better place now.”

She said he was dead. I said oh. She asked if I wanted to see him. I said yes. For the record, I am not actually sure if 9 year-olds should see corpses. That is neither here nor there. It was something that stuck with me though, the body of my cat with his tummy ripped out. I had never seen intestines before. His eyes were open.

But there was something cathartic about digging the grave. About helping pick up his little stiff body by the feet and placing him inside. There was something about piling on the red dirt as the sun set and letting the tears fall.

People on sitcoms hate talking about death. It’s understandable, it’s not funny, it makes for good dramatic irony when the kid asks “Where’s Socks?” and the parents go “Uuuuuh. He ran away.” I’ve never felt more alienated at those points. My cat died. He was eaten. I saw his body, and I buried it. Sometimes I think I wouldn’t want to be told he ran away-- that he had a choice in whether or not he left me.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

For a long time I thought the entirety of my childhood was wrong and bad, because I was miserable and broken at the end of it. I will assure you, my parents fucked up time and time again. But sometimes I have to stop and keep asking: Was this the wrong part? Was this the part where they fucked up? Was any part of this valuable? It’s a hard process to comb through an entire life and decide which bits are worth keeping, and if there are any silver linings.

So here is one: I am an honest person. I am a crooked person too, unsure of where to place my feet in social situations, picking my way through others normalcy. I do not readily share information, I am not forthcoming, and it’s a slow burn for me to open up about anything.

However, I notice time and time again that strangers will share personal things with me. I don’t mean for it to happen, but there’s just this pattern in my life. I once went on a car ride with a girl I barely know from my debate team. She described how she wanted to lose her virginity, she wanted it, but was scared God would be angry. That she’d be dirty afterwards. I told her that that was impossible, sex was just an act, it had no eyes, it had no priestly robes, or bearing on her soul. She cried. She said she hadn’t told me anyone this before.

I had a friend in high school who was struggling with an eating disorder, people had tried to get her to talk about it before, but I was the first person she admitted it to. In the hallway, sitting, just discussing nothing, and out it comes: I’m scared to eat sometimes. I was on a city bus and an old woman struck up a conversation with me. Over an hour or so, and she ended up telling me her fears for her own daughter going away to college. Her fear of growing old and passing on. Her problems with sleeping as she lay awake and dreaded it.

People have told me about their problems with substance abuse, their struggles with sexuality, and childhood trauma. People spill to me and I sit there thinking: Why? Sometimes I think it’s my gender or just how people are, but it always feels like I’m missing some part of the picture. Why do people open up to me, unprompted, all at once? Why me?

Is it wrong to lie to children?

Recently, I was reading a memoir set in 2001 where two young kids ask the narrator, their mother, about 9/11. They asked what happened to the people on television who were jumping off the building. Where did they go? The mother says this: They were caught. There are people-catchers that flew and saved them. Everyone is okay.

This story was meant to be heartfelt and lyrical, relatable. It ended like this: It is the job of mothers to offer gentle lies.

I had to stop reading because I was suddenly lost in a white-hot rage, unexpected, knee-jerk. How could she do that? I found myself frothing. They trusted her with answers and she lied. How could she? I knew it was irrational. It was silly even. This was a sweet story. It was meant to be heart-warming and framed in a way that suggested this is what all mothers do. This was what they needed to do. 

I felt my own mother, pumping through my veins, furious that these elementary school students were being betrayed. I stopped myself of course, I knew it wasn’t reasonable. I wasn’t raised “correctly.” I had no legs to stand on.

But still, is it alright to lie to children?

I am once again faced with that unending dilemma: how to throw-out those parts of myself that don’t work and keep the ones that do. It’s difficult to say, because in some ways I agree with my mom. How can I not? But death is cruel. Sex is weird. Santa Claus is a beautiful lie.

And what’s wrong with lying? I still don’t know. What’s wrong with letting them never hurt? Never knowing the pain or gross parts of the world? What’s the harm in letting them make-believe?

But sometimes I think about all those people who have cried to me. All these unprompted confessions come with an unspoken plea: I hurt. I am afraid. I am so scared. It’s all so heavy, these painful truths.

And some part of me stands there, the part my mother raised and says: there is nothing in this life that is too shameful. There is nothing in this world that is unnatural. There is nothing in this life to lie about, even to children.

Is death too painful? Is sex too gross? Would you tell an adult that a man lives in the North Pole and watches them?

I asked my mom, years later, when I was less furious and able to talk with her again without screaming, about why she believed all this. She had told me about it since I was very young, but I never asked why. She shrugged. She said: children are people, aren’t they?

I still don’t know what to do with this.

Children are people, but they are not adults. They shouldn’t be exposed to “adult” things, right? But is that line so concrete? Is the word “adult” just a mask for the greater word, the one we really mean? We all agree: honesty is good. Lying hurts. But it’s alright to lie to kids, because in many ways they aren’t people yet, they aren’t people yet, they don’t count.

I am admittedly an argumentative person. I was on the debate team, mock trial, United Nations, I studied political science in college and fought with every single one of my professors I thought was wrong. And I stood in that playground, age 6, and told every single one of my classmates Santa wasn’t real and I wouldn’t stop. The truth was important. And my mother, no matter what, thought I disserved it.

I often felt tiny and powerless as a kid. Terrified and holding myself together by shoestrings. I often felt there would be nothing better in the world than to be grown up. Not for the money or the dating or the job, I just wanted to feel like the hurricane would end. That one day I could stand on solid ground again. My friend often says: I wish I could be a kid again, ya know? No responsibilities. Just bliss. I want to be a kid again.

I can’t relate. I never have. I’ve been busy weeding through the pipes and lighting and the carpentry of my upbringing and asking myself: is any of this worth keeping? Is any part of me built correctly? There are no right answers.

But still, I am haunted. I sit and ask myself in circles: is it alright to lie to children?

------------

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[englishstrawbie]

Serendipity (22/?)

Fandom: Station 19, Grey’s Anatomy

Characters: Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca

Summary: A chance meeting at a bar leads to these two idiots falling in love. Follows canon and fills in the gaps of their relationship that we didn’t get to see on screen.

Also @ AO3.

* * * * * * * * * *

Hopeful

Peace is not The absence of power Peace is The presence of love - Sri Chinmoy

Maya runs her hand through her hair, the tips of her fingers tickling her skin when they reach her neck. It is an unfamiliar sensation and she shivers, her body tensing as she remembers the way her head jerked backwards under her dad’s grip. She thought that feeling would go away when she cut her hair, but it lingers stubbornly and she wonders if the memory will ever fade.

Carina notices her reaction and regrets the question. Maybe this part of the story is too hard for Maya to tell right now, and Carina knows she has pushed her to talk too quickly in the past. She doesn’t want history to repeat itself.

“You don’t have to…” Carina starts to say, but Maya cuts her off.

“No, I… I want to tell you.” She takes a shaky breath. “My dad turned up at the station this morning,” she says. “He, uh, he’s been calling me this week and I’ve been ignoring him, so he was pissed. He pretended like he was there to visit me, but I could tell. I’ve seen it so many times before, he gets this glint in his eye like he could snap at any minute. But we were on a call and I had to get to Pac North so I left him at the station. I figured I’d get back later and he’d probably still be mad, and I’d deal with it then.”

She falls quiet as the sound of Lane calling for her from the crowd echoes in her head, haunted by the way he kept his voice light to hide his anger like so many times in the past.

“But?” Carina prompts her gently.

“But he followed us to the scene. He was watching what was going on and he started calling me over. I tried to get him to go away, but he wouldn’t. He said he wanted to see me in action and it reminded me of all those times he used to stand on the sidelines watching me race, cheering me on. Except I knew it wasn’t true. He wasn’t there for me, he was there for him. He needed to take his anger out on somebody.”

“He was mad that your mom left him?”

Maya nods. “He likes to be in control,” she says. “And my mom leaving was something that he had no power over. So when I didn’t answer his calls or call him back, I guess he realised that I was starting to see the truth in what Mom was saying about him, and that was something else that he couldn’t control.”

She shakes her head. “He sure knows how to pick his moments. My team were stuck in a basement with a bomb, they could have died and he just wanted to have a go at me. To make out he’s the victim in all this.” Her voice is full of bitterness towards a man she once revered. “We got into an argument. He ducked under the tape that was holding the crowd back and I told him to step away, but he wouldn’t listen. He told me that mom was filling my head with nonsense, he accused me of “playing captain”. So I was the one who walked away.”

Tears pool in her eyes. “Except no-one walks away from Lane Bishop.” She pauses as she tries to shrug off the tugging sensation that pulses at the back of her head. “He, um… he grabbed my hair and he pulled it, and I stumbled backwards.”

Carina visibly reacts to her story, her body straightening in shock. “Maya,” she murmurs, reaching out and holding Maya’s hand, squeezing it gently.

Maya shakes her head, knowing that just the smallest amount of sympathy will cause her to crack. It is there, bubbling under the surface and threatening to spill out, and she doesn’t want that, she doesn’t want him to win.

“I got away from him and he left. And then we got my team out of the basement.” She remembers the sight of them emerging from the hospital, all smiles that they had got out safely. “I was so glad to see them, it should’ve been a happy moment.” She sighs. “Except all I could feel was him pulling my ponytail.”

“And that’s why you cut your hair?” Carina asks, putting the pieces together.

Maya nods. “It sounds stupid, I know, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I thought… I thought if I just cut off my hair, it would go away.”

“But it hasn’t?”

Maya shakes her head as a small sob escapes from her. She doesn’t want to feel like this. He is her father. He is supposed to protect her, not hurt her. Her head tells her that it is all him; that she and Mason and her mom are not to blame for the way he treated them, but doubt creeps in and she wonders what she did that meant she was only worthy of his love when she was winning races. Those thoughts overwhelm her and she feels shame and hurt and frustration. She has been pushing them down and focusing on doing her job. The moment she lets them in, it hits her hard and the tears flow from her eyes.

“Oh, bella,” Carina says, sweeping Maya up in her arms and holding her tightly. A heaviness sits on her chest at the grief that pours out of Maya, and she feels so much anger towards a man she has never met. She doesn’t say anything as rocks Maya’s body with her own, giving her the moment she needs to let it all out.

As her body stills, Carina runs her hand over the back of Maya’s head until it rests on her neck. She feels Maya’s body turn rigid against her and Carina holds her a little tighter.

“It’s okay,” she whispers. She slowly and gently guides Maya’s face away from her, until her cheek is pressed against Carina’s shoulder, exposing the back of her head. Carina places a soft kiss at the base of her neck, and another a little higher up, and a third on her hairline. She repeats the process twice more, each kiss becoming a little harder, desperate to replace Maya’s bad memory with a better one.

She can feel Maya’s tears soaking into the sleeve of her blouse and she holds her tighter still, nuzzling her nose into Maya’s hair.

“I’m proud of you,” Carina says.

Maya lets the words wash over her and she burrows herself into Carina’s shoulder, grateful for her calming influence. Her embrace makes Maya feel loved and safe, something she has been craving all day, knowing that Carina was the only person in the world who could give her that feeling.

She stays wrapped up in Carina’s arms until she feels stronger and like she won’t cry any more, because she has done too much of that already this evening and her dad doesn’t deserve any more of her tears.

“I really do love you,” she says as she extracts herself from Carina’s arms, her voice cracking a little.

“I know you do,” Carina says, smiling as she runs her thumb over Maya’s dry cheeks. “I love you too, bella.” Her eyes twinkle at her. “Even if you do have bad hair.”

That makes Maya smile. “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” she laments.

Carina shrugs. “Maybe it was. Maybe it was your way of letting go of the past.”

“Maybe. Except now I have to walk around looking like this until I can get to the hair salon,” Maya says with a grimace, gesturing towards her lopsided haircut.

Carina curls her finger under some of the loose strands that fall across Maya’s face and tucks them behind her ear. “Why don’t I tidy it up for you?” she offers.

“You know how to cut hair?” Maya raises one eyebrow curiously.

“No,” Carina says, which makes Maya laugh. “But I can’t make it look any worse.”

Carina stands and holds out her hand, which Maya accepts, letting Carina pull her to her feet. Carina fetches a sheet from the cupboard, while Maya hunts for the sharpest pair of scissors she owns. She returns with the scissors in one hand and a mirror in the other.

She puts the mirror on the table and hesitates, a small, concerned frown on her face. “Are you sure about this?”

“Trust me,” Carina says lightly. She lays the sheet on the ground and drags a chair on top of it, then takes the scissors from Maya. “Sit.”

She says it with such conviction that Maya sits obediently on the chair, although she can’t stop her leg from anxiously jiggling up and down. Carina notices and she puts her hands on Maya’s shoulders. “Trust me,” she repeats, more softly. She rests her chin on the top of Maya’s head and keeps her hands on her shoulders until she feels them relax.

“Okay,” Maya says when she is ready.

Carina works silently as she chips away at the bottom of Maya’s hair, straightening its edges as best as she can. The back of her hand brushes against Maya’s neck every now and again, causing the fine hairs to stand up on end. Carina is aware of it and each time she pauses and offers Maya reassurance with a soft kiss on the top of her head, letting her know she is in safe hands.

When she is finished, she sweeps the hair off Maya’s shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. “All done.”

Maya takes a deep breath, then picks up the mirror and studies her hair. It has never been this short and it looks strange on her. It is still a little longer on one side and she will need to visit a hair stylist soon, but Carina has done a good job and it looks less choppy than it did earlier. She plays with the ends, curling it around her fingers.

“Do you feel okay?” Carina asks.

Maya nods slowly. “It feels strange, but yeah I’m okay,” Maya says, watching as her short hair bounces as her head moves. She tilts the mirror so that she can see Carina’s reflection. “Thank you.”

“Prego,” Carina says. She takes a step backwards and Maya catches her hand, turning her head to look over her shoulder.

“Are you?”

Carina frowns, not understanding. “Am I…?”

“Are you okay?” Maya looks up at her. “I feel like I’ve done a lot of talking tonight. And I know we talked about forgiveness and trust, but you haven’t really said much about how you’re feeling about everything that’s happened.”

Carina doesn’t respond right away. She feels exhausted by everything she has heard this evening and isn’t sure she has the energy for any more talking, especially if it means confronting her own feelings.

“Maya, it’s getting late.”

“I know. But you’re right. If we’re gonna make this work, we can’t hold back from each other,” Maya says, her big blue eyes looking up earnestly at her. She feels nervous asking Carina to open up to her. She wants to give Carina the space she needs to talk about what she is thinking and how she is feeling, but Maya is scared about what she might hear, because she knows one evening won’t fix everything.

Carina exhales slowly. She nods and walks around Maya to the table, pulling out her own chair and sitting down.

“I feel sad that it happened,” she says honestly. “I mean, I understand it better now but it doesn’t stop me from feeling sad that I wasn’t enough to make you stay and talk to me, instead of running away to…”

To Jack, is what she was about to say.

Maya bites her bottom lip. She wants to jump in and tell her that she is enough, but she doesn’t, choosing instead to let Carina say whatever is on her mind.

“I’m still mad at you a little bit, I think,” Carina continues. “I’m mad at you for making me feel like I was nothing. I’m mad that you walked away from me and I’m mad that you didn’t walk away from him.” She wipes away a tear that falls down her cheek. “I know it was a mistake, but it still hurts that it happened. That doesn’t just go away because you’re sorry about it.”

“I get that,” Maya says.

“And I know that you said you didn’t go looking for it, but there’s a part of me that’s scared that it’ll happen again the next time we have a fight,” Carina admits.

“It won’t,” Maya objects.

“I know you believe that,” Carina says.

“So what will take for you to believe it?” Maya asks, her heart dropping.

“Time,” Carina answers. “I need time for the hurt to go away and I need time for the trust to come back. I meant what I said earlier. I do forgive you and I really want us to be okay. Because I love you, Maya. And most of all, I feel hopeful that we’ll be okay.”

Maya’s heart leaps. “I like hopeful.”

Carina smiles and shuffles forwards, cupping Maya’s face in her hands and kissing her square on the lips.

Maya slides her hands along Carina’s thighs and they settle on her hips, as she leans into the kiss. She opens her mouth a little, a contented sigh escaping as Carina sweeps her tongue along her bottom lip. She tastes of garlic and spice and red wine, and Carina feels herself melting into the embrace.

“I’ve missed this,” she murmurs against Maya’s mouth.

They deepen their kiss and, for a moment, Carina lets go of every doubt in her mind and she knows, despite everything, that loving Maya and choosing to forgive her is what she wants. Because she can’t imagine not kissing these lips for the rest of her life or hearing her laugh or watching her fail at making a decent espresso. She wants more days hiking the nearby trails and more nights curled up on the couch together. She wants to know that Maya will be in her future.  

When their lips part, she buries herself in the crook of Maya’s neck. Maya wraps her arms around her and Carina remembers that it is her favourite place to be.

“It’s getting late, I should go,” she says as she slowly pulls away.

Maya frowns. “You’re leaving?”

“I should,” Carina says. “You have work tomorrow and it’s been a long day.”

For both of them, she thinks.

There is a part of her that wants to stay, to curl up in bed with their arms wrapped around each other; but there is still a hesitancy and she knows she would be crazy to jump in so quickly.

Maya nods as she tries to conceal her disappointment. She wants to ask Carina to stay, wants to fall asleep knowing that she will still be there when she wakes up. She doesn’t want to watch Carina walk out of her apartment again because the last time she didn’t come back. Maya knows how much she hurt her and she is worried that Carina will decide that forgiving her was a mistake.

Except Carina asked for time and Maya is willing to give her as much time as she needs if it means earning her trust back.

“Can I see you on Sunday, after my shift ends?” Maya asks.

“I’d like that,” Carina says with a smile – and she means it. “Why don’t you come to my house for lunch?” She is aware that Maya always needs sleep after a twenty-four hour shift, knowing that she never sleeps enough when she is at the station.

Maya returns her smile. “Sounds good.”

She makes the first move and stands up, walking towards the door. Carina follows her and pulls on her coat. Maya helps, their hands fighting playfully over the buttons, drawing a smile from each of them.

Maya looks up at her. “Thank you for fixing my hair.”

Carina nods and leans down, brushing her lips against Maya’s in a light kiss. “I’ll see you on Sunday, bella.”

She walks out of the apartment, taking the elevator down to the street below. The early spring air is cool and, although Carina usually complains about how long it takes for Seattle to warm up after winter, she is grateful for it tonight. It has been a long evening and she is tired, ready to curl up and sleep. Finally it feels like she can rest. All week, she has gone to bed dreading the next day, knowing that the hurt she carries will still be there. She knows one conversation won’t be enough to let it all go, but confronting the truth – even though it was heartbreaking at times – has helped ease the hurt and she is glad that they have a chance to get their relationship back on track.

She meant it when she said she felt hopeful. She thinks about Andrew dealing with his Bipolar and her family in lockdown in Italy and how the world is slowly falling apart, and how America will follow soon. The future feels uncertain and scary, but despite all that, her heart feels lighter than it has in days and Carina resolves to hold on tightly to that hopeful feeling with all that she has.

[maxinaptak]

(AoT/ SNK) Key to Salvation: Eren X Abused!Reader

WARNING: REFRENCED NON-CON, FORCED DRUG USE

This is a rough one you guys. Proceed with caution.

You groaned as you rubbed the fairly fresh bruise on your shoulder, letting your head fall against the locker in front of you. The bruise on your shoulder wasn’t the only one you had; in fact, you had several more, both new and old, littering your body. You groaned again as you heard your best friend’s voice coming down the hallway. You lifted your head off your locker and pulled your sweater sleeve down your arm more, making sure it covered your bruise and the needle marks.

“________,” Eren called loudly, causing you to cringe lightly at his volume, “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a few days.”

He stopped next to you and looked at you with such innocent turquoise eyes. Oh, how you loved those innocent eyes. You could never tell Eren about what was going on at home. You just couldn’t.

“I was sick, that’s all,” you lied, faking a smile up at the boy, “Just a little cold. I'm fine now though.”

It almost pained you physically to lie to him, but how could you tell him that you had spent the last three days being given drugs against your will in a dirty basement where dozens of men abused your strung out, limp body while your mother collected their payment.

“Well, I'm glad you’re feeling better!” Eren said, smiling brightly.

You smiled almost sadly and sighed. Eren was your sweet, caring best friend. He had been since you were both in diapers. Fifteen years of friendship and you still couldn’t tell him what was happening; couldn’t tell him that you need help, beg for his help.

“Eren, will you lower your voice? I can hear you all the way down the hallway.” Mikasa, Eren’s adopted sister, said, flicking the brunet in the ear.

“Ow!” He cried, cupping his assaulted ear.

She rolled her eyes and looked at you.

“Are you sure you’re feeling better ________,” Mikasa asked, frowning, “You look more tired than normal.”

You faked another smile and said, “Yep, just fine!”

In all reality, you were going through a nasty withdraw from the clonazepam and oxy your mother normally gave you. This last time, she decided to give you something else to sedate you through your ‘work’, something she injected several times into your veins over the days. You had a feeling that if anyone would notice something was off, it would be Mikasa.

The other girl didn’t look too convinced, but nodded anyway and said, “If you say so. It’s almost time for class to start, so we should get going. You too Eren. If you’re late again, mom will have your ass.”

The tall boy rolled his eyes and hugged you goodbye. You tried your hardest to hide your pained flinch as he squeezed you tightly, but you knew Mikasa had seen it. Once he left, Mikasa set her hard gaze on you again.

“I saw that,” she said, crossing her arms, “What was that about?”

“Ok, so I may have hurt my back trying a new yoga pose yesterday. But I wasn’t gonna tell him that.” You said, jutting your thumb in the direction Eren had left in.

It wasn’t a total lie this time. Your back did hurt, but it sure as hell wasn’t from doing yoga. Your slightly older friend rolled her eyes and turned to head to your first hour class. You quickly ran after her, trying your best not to limp. You reached your AP Psychology class and took your seats. Your teacher had the desks in clusters of six or seven seats and you two got lucky enough to be put with your friends.

“Hey guys.” You said, plopping your book down onto your desk.

Krista, Ymir, Sascha, and Max all smiled back and greeted you both. You made small talk for a few minutes before the bell rang, signaling the start of the school day. You turned your attention to your teacher, Mr. O’Neil, and swallowed hard when you saw what he was writing on the board.

Drug Addiction: The effects, the signs, and withdrawal symptoms.

‘Fuck my life with a cactus….’ You thought, slowly sliding down in your seat a little.

You prayed to whatever god there may be (though you didn’t really believe that there was one anymore) that none of your friends, especially Mikasa, would notice that you were exhibiting some of the signs and symptoms.

You had managed to make it through the class with your teeth clenched and practically sprinted out of the room when it was over. You made it to your economics class in record time and slumped into your seat, letting your head slam down on your desk.

“Damn kid, rough morning?”

You slowly raised your head to look at your student teacher, Levi Ackerman. Apparently, he was a distant cousin to Mikasa, but she didn’t really know him.

“Rough couple of days.” You admitted, voice flat and eyes dull.

The short male regarded you carefully, as he had taken note that you had been absent for the past three days and went to his bag.

“Alright kiddo, I’ve got some dark chocolate and a Red Machine Naked Juice,” he said, placing said items on your desk in front of you, “You look like you’ve been through some shit, and you need these more than I do. Besides, it looks like you’ve lost a shit ton of weight since the semester started.”

Your face flushed bright red. You didn’t think Mr. Ackerman paid that much attention to any of his students, let alone you.

“T-thanks Mr. Ackerman….” You said, opening the chocolate bar and taking a small bite.

“No problem kid.” He said, turning to go back to his desk, but stopping.

He hesitated for a moment before turning back to you and crouching down next to you.

He waited for you to meet his gaze and quietly said, “________, you can come to me if you need to talk or if you need help, ok?”

You stared at him in shock and slowly nodded. You’d never heard him speak like that and it almost freaked you out. He nodded at you and returned to his desk. You let your eyes fall onto your desk and stared at it blankly.

“________?”

You jumped and whipped around to see Eren setting his stuff down on the desk next to you.

“What was that all about?” He asked, discreetly nodding his head in your teacher’s direction.

You swallowed hard and stumbled over your words as you tried to reply.

“N-nothing,” you said, averting your eyes from his, “He was just telling me that I looked like crap and needed to eat something, so he gave me this, that’s all.”

You quickly grabbed the bottle of juice and tried to open it, but struggled. You knew you had been having a bit of a hard time doing normal things, but never had you struggled to open a beverage bottle. You frowned and stopped trying to open the juice.

“Here, I got it,” Eren said, taking the bottle from you and cracking it open easily with his large hands, “I'm kinda shocked he’d be nice enough to give you something, but you should drink this. It’ll help you feel better.”

He carefully put the bottle back into your hand and you weakly smiled at him. You took a long drink from the juice and sighed, satisfied by the taste. Soon the room was full and the bell rang, class starting.

Levi’s eyes scanned over his students as they worked on the small packet he had given them to complete before the end of class. He heard a snore from beside him and looked at the teacher he was supposed to be shadowing, Dot Pixis, and rolled his eyes when he saw him asleep again. How that man became a teacher was beyond him. He heard footsteps approaching his desk and turned his attention forward again.

“Eren and I are finished with the packet.” ________ said, holding out two packets.

“As always, finished before anyone else. The brat is lucky you partner with him every time.” Levi said, shaking his head and reaching out for the papers.

As ________ pulled her hand away, she accidently knocked over the cup of pens and pencils on the desk.

“Shit, sorry Mr. Ackerman. I’ll take care of it.” She said, crouching down quickly.

“It’s fine, kid, don’t worry about it.” He said, looking over the side of his desk at her.

His eyes widened as the left sleeve of her sweater raised up, revealing a bruise vaguely shaped like a handprint and several track marks on her upper forearm. He froze, not knowing what to do as he watched her quickly pick up the scattered writing utensils and put them back into the cup. He swallowed hard and tried to formulate words, say anything to her, but he couldn’t manage it, too shocked. She smiled smally at him before going back to her desk. His eyes followed her and jumped over to Eren, her best friend. If he couldn’t talk to ________ directly, he sure as hell could talk to the brat.

“Jaeger, see me after class.” He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Eren groaned loudly.

“What the fuck did I do this time?” Eren practically whined.

He dramatically draped himself over where your desks were pushed together, making you breathe out a laugh.

“I don’t know, but this happens at least once a week and you know it.” You said, petting his shoulder length hair.

He sighed deeply and peeked up at you with his beautiful turquoise eyes, pouting. You stared at him and couldn’t help but smile lovingly at him. You’d never told anyone, but you’d been in love with the tall boy since you were eleven and he was twelve. He’d always been there for you, doing everything he could to make you laugh and smile. Usually, he’d drag Armin into his antics too, but it was all in good fun and you all laughed together.

“Your hair’s get long,” you murmured, playing with the little bun that was tied at the base of his skull, “Are you gonna cut it?”

Eren hummed and said, “Nah, I kinda like it like this. What do you think about it? Does it look bad?”

You shook your head and said, “No, I like it. I think it looks really good on you.”

“Then I’m definitely keeping it long.” He said, smiling up at you.

You smiled back and continued to talk to him for the rest of class. When the bell rang, you gathered your things and gave Eren a sympathetic look.

“I’ll see you later Eren. Have fun with Mr. A.” You said, waving.

“Yeah,” he groaned, standing up, “Have fun in anatomy with Armin. Embarrass him for me, would ya?”

“Sure! I’ve got a good dirty joke or two that I haven’t told in front of him yet.” You said, grinning.

Eren sighed and picked up his bag before walking up to Levi’s desk.

“You wanted to see me sir?” He asked, shoulders slumped.

Levi nodded and said, “Yes. What class do you have next?”

Eren was confused but answered, “German. Why?”

“Are you doing well in that class?” Levi asked.

“I’ve been speaking German since I was born basically,” Eren said, still confused as all hell, “My dad’s family lives in Germany, and my grandparents don’t speak English very well. I only took the class so I could get an easy A…. Why do you ask?”

Levi stood from his desk and motioned for Eren to follow him as he said, “I wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem if you missed part of the class. I need to speak to you, but somewhere private.”

Eren was beyond confused now but followed his teacher anyway. The shorter man always seemed rather serious, but this time, he seemed deadly serious about whatever it was. He followed Levi to one of the biology labs and went inside.

“Hanji, I need to borrow your lab for a little bit,” Levi said, addressing one of the other student teachers he was friends with, “I need to speak to Eren alone.”

The crazy science teacher looked up from her notes and said, “Oh! Ok, sure! Just let me know when you’re done!”

She quickly left the room and closed the door behind her. Levi sat down and motioned for Eren to do the same. The younger boy did, facing his teacher.

“What’s going on Mr. Ackerman?” Eren asked, frowning.

Levi took a deep breath and said, “I need to talk to you about ________.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed and he asked, “________? What about her?”

“Something’s going on with her. Has she said anything to you?” He asked.

Eren thought for a moment before shaking his head as he said, “I mean, she said that she had a cold and that’s why she wasn’t at school the last few days. Other than that, no.”

Levi nodded and thought for a moment before he asked, “Eren, you’re her best friend, right?”

The brunet nodded.

“Do you pay close attention to her? The way she looks, the way she acts?”

Eren blinked a few times before shyly nodding his head.

“Then have you noticed that she’s lost quite a bit of weight since the semester started?” Levi asked.

Eren nodded again and said, “I tried to ask her about it once, but she got really upset about it and snapped at me, so I didn’t say anything after that. But I noticed that she was losing more and more weight as the weeks went on. And every few weeks she looks really sick and upset, but she won’t talk to me about it….”

Levi sighed deeply again and said, “Eren, I saw something on her arm today, in class when she was picking up the pens. That’s why I asked you to stay after.”

“What was on her arm?” Eren asked, worried and confused at the same time.

“There was a large bruise that looked like a handprint. And she had several… track marks on her forearm.” Levi said, letting his own shoulders drop in sadness.

“What are track marks?” Eren asked, still confused.

Levi looked up at Eren and said, “Needle marks, Eren. From using drugs.”

Eren’s eyes widened.

“Drugs?! No way! ________ would never!” Eren said, denial evident in his voice.

Levi sighed again and said, “Eren I know what track marks look like. It’s no secret that I grew up on the streets. A lot of people I ran with did drugs back then. I know what I saw.”

Eren’s heart dropped into his stomach, knowing that his teacher couldn’t be wrong. He thought back over the months and remembered seeing ________’s forearms and elbow crooks all the time. There were never any needle marks before. Bruises, sure, but ________ was clumsy.

“I-it must be new…,” he said, looking down at his hands, “She’s never had needle marks on her arms before….”

“What about the bruises?” Levi asked.

Eren shrugged and said, “She’s always had a few bruises here and there, ever since we were kids. She’s clumsy as hell, always has been. And she bruises easily because she’s anemic.”

“Has she always been anemic?”

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. It started around the time we started high school. That’s also when she started to look sick and upset every few weeks…. And her weight started fluctuating and her eating habits changed too….”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed again and he started to get more upset, thinking about how something was wrong with his best friend, the girl he was in love with, and he didn’t even realize, even though he saw everything.

“I should have known something was wrong….” Eren whispered, clenching his fists.

“Eren, it’s not your fault. You guys are kids still. It’s not your job to watch every little detail about her.” Levi said, trying to make the teen feel less guilty.

“But I love her,” Eren almost cried, a desperate look on his face, “I have been watching every detail about her for years! I should have known!”

Eren hung his head and let out a shaky breath, resting his head in his hands. Levi looked at his student sadly. He knew that the boy was in love with ________; it was pretty obvious, at least to him. And he could see that ________ loved him back. It was beyond him why the two hadn’t began dating yet, but that was beside the point at the moment.

“Now you know something’s up with her. Use the information you have now and talk to her.” Levi said, putting a hand on Eren’s shoulder.

The younger male looked up at his teacher and sighed, nodding.

Levi nodded back and said, “Alright. Now come on. I’ll write you a note to excuse you for missing class.”

Eren nodded again and sadly trailed behind his teacher. He got his note and trudged to his German class. He gave the note to Herr Ham and took his seat in the back of the classroom, spacing out. It didn’t matter if her paid attention or not. His teacher was horrible and taught in a ridiculous way that confused most students. The only reason he was top of the class was because he’s a native speaker. All he could think about was ________. He would see her again fifth hour for lunch and he didn’t know how he could face her without saying anything. He didn’t want to talk to her in front of their friends. He sighed and rested his head on his arms on his desk.

“For fuck’s sake….” You muttered, sitting back on your legs.

You were currently on your knees in a bathroom stall, retching into the toilet every so often. It didn’t surprise you that this was happening; you were going through oxycodone withdrawal after all. Nausea and vomiting were normal. You’d gone through this a few times before, but never this badly. You wondered if whatever drug your mother gave you the last few days was making it worse this time around.

“Oh god,” you groaned, feeling bile rise in your throat again, “Not again…!”

You heaved into the toilet again, hot tears running down your cheeks. All you had had to eat that day was what Mr. Ackerman had given you during econ, and there was no way any of it still resided in your stomach. All you could taste was stomach acid, your throat burning. You checked the time on your phone and sighed. Fifth period was almost over and you knew Eren would be worried that you weren’t there. You tried to get up and leave a few times, but it was obvious that your body wasn’t done. You shakily unlocked your phone and typed out a choppy text to Eren.

Eren frowned as he arrived at his normal lunch table. Armin and Max were sitting together, holding hands and feeding each other like normal; Mikasa and Annie were sitting across from each other, glaring at each other with an awkward sexual tension between them, like normal; and Jean and Marco were holding hands and eating quietly, like normal. What was not like normal, was the fact that ________ was missing. Eren was always the last one to arrive at the table and ________ was always sitting in one of the two open seats left at the table when he got there.

“Has anyone seen ________?” He asked, sitting down.

Max swallowed a strawberry Armin had fed her and said, “Not since third hour.”

“I saw her heading towards the cafeteria on my way here,” Marco said, frowning slightly, “But then she ran into the bathroom. I haven’t seen her since.”

Eren frowned deeply and stared down at his food. He sighed and ultimately started to pick at his food, eventually shoveling it into his mouth quickly as his dumb teenage body demanded him to. Near the end of the hour, his phone vibrated. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at it. It was a text from ________.

Felt sick, stuck in bathroom. Sorry. See you later.

Eren frowned again and sighed.

“What’s wrong Eren?” Mikasa asked, finally breaking her gaze away from her (not so secret) secret girlfriend.

“________ texted me. She said she was feeling sick and was stuck in the bathroom.” Eren said, shoulders slumping.

Max frowned and said, “I can go check on her if you’re really worried.”

Eren looked up at the red-haired girl gratefully and said, “Yes, please.”

She smiled and nodded. She leaned over to Armin and gave him several quick kisses before getting up and leaving the cafeteria.

“________?”

You jumped as you heard someone call your name. You knew that voice; it was your friend Max.

“M-Max?” You choked out, coughing.

You heard her run to the large stall you were in and try the door.

“________, are you ok? Eren said you were sick and you don’t sound good at all!” She said, voice full of concern.

You weakly moved to open the door to let her in before going back to slumping against the wall. She quickly came in and dropped to her knees in front of you.

“Oh my god, hon, are you ok?” She asked, gently putting her hands on your arms.

You sighed as more tears slipped from your eyes and shook your head as you breathed, “No…. I’ve been throwing up all hour….”

“Oh no, ________...,” Max said, looking at you sadly, “You need to go to the nurse and go home!”

You sighed again and said, “My mom won’t come get me….”

“I’ll take you home. They’ve let me do it for Armin before, and he wasn’t nearly this sick.” Max said, pulling her phone out.

She called Armin and asked for him to come to the bathroom and help. She hung up and pocketed her phone before gently stroking your (h/c) hair.

A minute later the door to the bathroom opened and you heard Armin call out, “Max, ________? Is there anyone else in there or can we come in?”

“It’s just us, come in.” Max called back.

Soon Armin was in the doorway of the stall, Eren behind him. Eren quickly pushed his way past him and gently scooped you up into his arms. Armin grabbed your backpack and followed you out of the bathroom. A security guard saw you being carried out of the bathroom by Eren and Armin following behind and asked what was going on.

“Our friend got really sick and needs to go to the nurse, but she couldn’t walk. I couldn’t carry her on my own, so I asked them to come and help.” Max explained, giving the older man puppy dog eyes.

The security guard was a little flustered by the look she was giving him and he let you guys go. You giggled a little, knowing your friend would use her incredibly seductive puppy dog eyes to get you out of any trouble. Armin may not like it, but you thought it was hilarious. Your little group made its way to the nurse’s office and Max explained the situation to the woman. Taking one look at you, the nurse gave Max permission to drive you home. She called the office and asked for a teacher to escort you out so you wouldn’t get in trouble. You were a little surprised to see Mr. Ackerman walk into the room, concern written all over his usually stoic face.

“I knew you were feeling sick this morning, but I didn’t know it was this bad.” He said, frowning.

You looked down shyly and shrugged your shoulders as best you could in Eren’s arms. Your group, now escorted by your teacher, made its way outside to Max’s car. Eren carefully placed you in the passenger seat and handed you a plastic bag for ‘just in case’. Armin put your bag in the backseat along with Max’s and kissed the girl before she got in. The three males stepped back and your friend pulled out of the parking spot. She drove carefully to your house and parked in your driveway.

“Do you need help inside?” She asked, turning to look at you.

You hesitated, not know if you really wanted to bother her anymore.

“You know what, don’t answer,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt, “I’m helping you to as least the front door.”

She got out of the car and you sighed, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Your door opened and Max helped you out of the car. She grabbed your bag from the back. She took your arm and helped you slowly walk to the door. You unlocked it and stepped inside, taking your bag from your friend.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling at your friend.

She smiled back and said, “Anytime. And if you’re not feeling better by Saturday morning, one of us is taking you to the doctor.”

You opened your mouth to say no but you didn’t get a chance.

“No arguments,” Max said, finality in her voice, “If you’re still this sick, you’re going to the doctor.”

You sighed in defeat and said, “Ok. Thanks for today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully.”

Max smiled at you sadly and nodded before getting back in her car and driving away, heading back to school. You closed the door and dragged your feet towards your room.

“What the fuck are you doing home?”

You silently groaned and turned to look at your mother.

“I got really sick.” You said, rubbing your face tiredly.

“That’s no excuse for you to come home.” The woman said, irritated.

You dully stared at her and said, “I was throwing up every few minutes all of fifth hour. It finally seems to have calmed down but I still feel like shit. My friends took me to the nurse and they made me go home.”

Your mother glared at you and said, “Well why the fuck are you sick anyway?”

You glared back and said, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I'm going through serious withdrawal from the clonazepam and oxy. It’s been four days since you last shoved oxy down my throat and it’s hitting me hard as fuck this time.”

Your mother rolled her eyes and turned back to her magazine. You shook your head and made you way to your bedroom. You set your bag down by your desk before falling face down on your bed. Luckily, your bed was still sacred and safe. The only man that had ever been in your bed was Eren, and those times were never sexual. Only lazy weekend naps and scrolling through social media together, showing each other things you found funny. You sighed heavily again and wiggled your way under your covers, managing to fall asleep a little faster than normal due to how horrible you felt.

Max pulled back in to her parking spot at school and turned off her car. She sighed and stepped out, shocked to see the three males she’d left fifteen minutes ago standing in the same place.

“You guys waited here this whole time?” She asked, confused.

They nodded and Armin took her hand, leading her back into the school. Eren and Levi slowly trail behind them and spoke quietly.

“Did you get a chance to talk to her?” Levi asked.

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. She got sick before I even saw her….”

Levi nodded and they walked in silence. They’d figure out the best way to talk to her eventually.

You groaned as you rinsed your mouth out for the fourth time that morning. You hadn’t made it to school the day before and you were still sick. It was now Saturday, and you knew your phone would be ringing soon. One of your friends would be taking you to the doctor today, and you were dreading it. As if on cue, your phone began to ring. You sighed and walked into your room to pick it up.

“Hello?” You asked, answering without checking the caller ID.

“________, how are you feeling?” Eren’s voice came through.

“Oh, Eren…,” you said, not expecting him to call this early, “I-I’m… not doing so hot….”

You finally admitted to him that you weren’t alright. You sat on your bed and wrapped your free arm around your stomach.

“You’re still feeling sick?” Eren asked, a frown evident in his voice.

You sighed and answered, “Yeah. Honestly, I'm not feeling any better than I did at school the other day.”

“Alright, I’m taking you to the doctor,” Eren said, sounding like he was getting up, “Get ready, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

You were surprised, but said, “O-ok…! Um, I’ll be ready.”

He hung up with a quick goodbye and you stared down at your phone, blinking owlishly. You sighed again and set it down on your bed so you could get ready. You pulled on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt with your school’s mascot on it. You grabbed the hoodie that you had been wearing to bed, which actually belonged to Eren, and pulled it on, smiling at the way you drowned in the large garment. You pulled on a pair of slip-on boots and grabbed your small backpack purse. You grabbed your phone and made your way downstairs. Your mother was snoring loudly on the couch, an empty bottle of vodka still gripped in her hand that was hanging off the edge, resting on the floor. You rolled your eyes and leaned against the wall next to the window by the front door. A few minutes later, Eren’s beat up old car pulled into your driveway and you slipped out the door, locking it behind you. Eren met you halfway to the car and gently took your hand in one of his and braced your arm with the other, helping you to walk to the car. He opened your door and helped you in, even buckling your seatbelt for you.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling up at him.

He smiled back at you and carefully closed your door before going around the car and getting in the driver’s seat. He backed out of your driveway and took off down the street, heading towards downtown.

“Where are we going anyway,” you asked, biting your lip, “You know I don’t have insurance….”

He grinned over at you and said, “We’re going to my dad’s clinic. He said he’d see you free of charge.”

You smiled hearing that. Grisha Jaeger was a good man. Since your families had known each other since you and Eren were babies, you grew up seeing the man often. He was always kind to you, and you knew he was a good man since he took in Mikasa after her parents died when she and Eren were ten. He was the only father figure you had left since your dad died when you were eight. It was around that time that your mom started drinking and selling sex for money. When you turned fourteen, she realized that she could sell you instead and get even more money without her having to do anything. You sighed lightly as all of these thoughts swirled through your head, making it throb slightly.

“Hey, you good? Need me to roll the window down or something?” Eren asked, looking at you worriedly.

You smiled nervously at him and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw up in your car. It’s passed for now at least. I was just kinda spacing out, that’s all.”

Eren nodded and said, “I’m glad you feel better now. And you throwing up in my car probably wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened in here. I’m pretty sure Jean and Marco fucked in the backseat that time we went camping last summer.”

“Oh my god, seriously?!” You asked, shocked and kind of amused.

Eren nodded and said, “I saw them sneaking back to the campsite from the parking lot and then my car smelled nasty the next morning. And Marco couldn’t look me in the eye for a week.”

You laughed harder than you had laughed in a long time at this, holding your stomach as it cramped lightly.

“Ow…,” you cried, tears of laughter streaming down your face, “It hurts! It’s so funny it hurts!”

You quickly pulled you phone out and dialed Jean’s number.

“Hello?”

“Jean, did you and Marco really fuck in Eren’s car last summer when we went camping?!” You asked, still laughing.

You could hear the horror in his voice as he said, “How did you find out about that?!”

You barked out another laugh and said, “Eren’s known about it since it happened! He saw you guys sneaking back to the campsite that night!”

Jean swore and hung up on you, causing you to laugh even harder. You put your phone back in your purse and leaned back in your seat, your laughter dying down.

“I can’t believe you called him.” Eren chuckled, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe he admitted it to me. Well, in a way.” You said, giggling again.

Eren rolled his eyes and pulled into the empty parking lot of his dad’s clinic.

He must have seen your confused look and said, “The clinic doesn’t open until 11 o’clock. Dad wanted me to bring you in early to make sure there was time to do a thorough exam and run any tests needed before any other patients were here.”

You nodded in understanding and bit your lip nervously. At least one of your secrets was about to come out and you were not ready for that. Your door opened and you jumped slightly, looking up to see Eren shaking his head at you. He leaned down and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. He took your hand and helped you out of the car. You expected him to let go of your hand, but he didn’t. Instead, he held onto your hand tightly and guided you to the back door of the clinic, unlocking it and opening it, leading you in.

“You have a key?” You asked.

He nodded and said, “I sometimes help dad out by coming in before or after hours and help clean and stuff.”

You nodded and looked around hesitantly, not ready for this.

“Dad, we’re here!” He called into the mostly dark clinic.

“Back here, room 3.” His father called back.

Eren lead you down two hallways to the only room with lights on. You saw Dr. Jaeger setting up several different things and you immediately froze. He must have noticed because gave you a gentle smile.

“Relax ________,” he said softly, “Eren told me that you haven’t been to a doctor in quite a while, so I figured we’d just do a full work up.”

You swallowed had and nodded, letting Eren lead you over to the exam table, helping you to sit on it. He smiled at you a little before letting go of your hand, turning to leave the room.

“W-wait…,” you said, reaching out and grabbing his arm, “Stay… please…?”

He blinked at you a few times before looking at his father and asked, “Is it alright if stay dad?”

“As long as she says it’s alright, then yes.” He answered, nodding.

Eren nodded as well and moved to stand next to the exam table. You didn’t look at him or his dad, instead, just staring down at your hands in your lap.

“Alright, let’s start with your height and weight.” Dr. Jaeger said, motioning for you to come over to the scale.

You slipped off the table and went over, letting him measure your height (A/N: anything shorter than 6 foot so you’re shorter than Eren). You couldn’t look at the little screen on the scale where the numbers would pop up, indicating your weight.

“94 lbs,” Dr. Jaeger said, frowning, “________, that’s extremely low.”

You swallowed hard and said, “I know…. I knew my weight was low but I didn’t know it was that low….”

You trudged back to the exam table and climbed back onto it, not meeting the eyes of either Jaeger. The older man came over and grabbed the blood pressure cuff.

“Can you take your sweater off please?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You took a shuddering deep breath and slowly pulled off your hoodie. You shyly offered the doctor you left arm, looking anywhere but him. The room was silent as you felt both males staring at you.

“________, I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to be completely honest with me, do you understand?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You nodded, pulling your arm back, wrapping both your arms around your body.

“Are you taking drugs?” He asked.

“Not willingly….” You answered quietly.

“Someone’s making you take them?”

You nodded again.

“Who?”

You swallowed hard and said, “My mom….”

You felt Eren’s eyes boring into the side of your head but you refused to look at him.

“What is she giving you?” Dr asked.

“Normally she gives me clonazepam and oxy when I… have to work…. But last time she injected me with something instead. I don’t know what it was though….” You said, bringing one hand up to bite on your nails.

Dr. Jaeger was quiet for a moment before he asked, “What kind of work do you do?”

You squeezed your eyes closed tightly and said, “Sex work….”

“What?!” Eren cried, making you cringe.

“Eren, calm down,” Grisha said, “Freaking out right now isn’t going to help her at all.”

“S-sorry….” Eren stuttered, gently taking your hand.

“Does your mother force you to do this work?” Dr asked.

You nodded and said, “Yes…. When my dad died, she couldn’t pay the bills anymore and started selling herself. When I turned fourteen, she realized that if she sold me, she could make twice the money without having to do anything herself. I struggled and fought at first, and she would always get mad and say that I was too loud and that we’d get caught. So, she started drugging me to get through the meetings. It started out with just the clonazepam, but somewhere along the way she added the oxy.

“It was only once every few weeks at first, but then she started taking me to that place every week. Now it’s at least three nights a week, for… well, I’m actually not sure how long were there for since I’m drugged the whole time…. After she started bringing me every week, my body got dependent on the drugs…. That’s how she controls me now…. I've been going through really bad withdrawal this whole week…. The last time I had either was Sunday night….”

Both Jaegers were quiet for a moment.

Dr. Jaeger sighed heavily and said, “________, because of what your mother has been forcing you to do, I’m going to have to ask you some difficult questions, alright?”

You nodded.

“Do you know how many men have… been with you?” He asked, sounding like he didn’t want to be asking you these questions, just as much as you didn’t want to be asked them.

“I’m not sure…. I’m drugged every time now…. But if I had to guess… probably at least 300, maybe 350….” You said, rubbing your arm in shame.

Another sigh came from the doctor and you could hear Eren breathing heavily.

“Do you know if protection was used?”

You sighed and said, “Mom never put me on birth control and from the number of times I woke up to… fluids dripping down my thighs I assume not.”

Sighs were heard from both males in the room and you finally looked up. Dr. Jaeger looked conflicted and Eren looked so sad and so angry at the same time.

“I’m sorry I never told you Eren,” you said, hesitantly gripping his sleeve, “I was so embarrassed and… I was scared that if anyone found out that I would get in trouble….”

Eren shook his head almost violently and said, “Don’t apologize! It’s not your fault she made you do that! I’m sorry that I never notice anything was going on!”

“It’s alright Eren. I did everything I could to make sure you didn’t know.” You said, shrugging.

You both fell silent and Dr. Jaeger cleared his throat. You turned your attention back to him.

“Given the information you’ve provided me, I’m afraid I need to perform a pelvic exam and take some swabs and samples to make sure you’re not seriously sick.” He said, looking at you apologetically.

You sighed and nodded, figuring this was coming.

You looked at Eren and asked, “Will you stay with me still?”

He looked at you confused and asked, “Are you sure you want me to stay in here while he exams your… you know… girly bits?”

You nodded and said, “I already know it’s gonna be uncomfortable as hell. I've heard these exams can hurt a little, especially if samples need to be taken. It’s also going to be awkward as fuck since it’s your dad and all, so I might as well have some sort of comfort. You can face the wall behind me if it helps.”

He hesitated, but nodded. Dr. Jaeger began to gather all of the instruments and things he needed for the exam while you put on the paper gown he gave you. You asked Eren to tie it for you and her did. Once it was tied, you slipped off your leggings and panties without him seeing anything. To spare both of you any extra embarrassment, you folded your panties inside your leggings so he didn’t see them.

“Lay back and place your feet into the stirrups, then slide your bottom towards the end of the table.” Dr. Jaeger said, sitting on the rolling stool.

You did what you were told and held your hand out to Eren, who was facing the wall behind you, but could still see you. He took your hand and held it tightly. Dr. Jaeger started to examine you and you breathed deeply, closing your eyes. You could feel your face heat up in embarrassment and couldn’t bring yourself to look at Eren, even as he squeezed your hand reassuringly. Once you felt the speculum touch you, you breathed deeply again, anticipating the pain of something entering you. It didn’t hurt while going in, but when it started to open, you whined slightly at the burning pain.

“I apologize ________,” Dr said, “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

You nodded and bit your lip. After what felt like forever, but was only about a minute and a half, the speculum was pulled out of you and you sighed in relief. You sat up and looked at Dr. Jaeger, watching as he collected all of the swabs and samples he had taken.

“I’m going to go process these and we should have the results in about twenty minutes. I’ll also need to take some blood samples to check a few things.” He said, standing.

You nodded and took the towel he handed you. He left the room and Eren turned his back so you could clean yourself up and get dressed again. You did so quickly and tossed the towel into the labeled basket.

“I’m done.” You said, sitting on the table again.

Eren turned back to you and leaned against the exam table, pulling you into a tight, but gentle hug. You hugged him back and buried your face into his neck.

“I love you,” he said, stroking your (h/c) hair, “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but I was too scared. But after hearing that your own mother was forcing you to do that kind of stuff, I felt like I had to tell you… tell you that someone loved you….”

You teared up a little and said, “I love you too Eren…. But I was so scared to tell you because I thought no one could love me when I’m so used and disgusting….”

“You’re not disgusting,” Eren said, kissing your forehead, “You’ve been abused. None of it was your choice or your fault. Nothing could make me stop loving you.”

You looked up at him and he smiled at you. He leaned down and kissed you gently. You kissed him back before resting your head against his chest while he stood between your legs, hugging you. You stayed like that until the door opened again.

“Can I assume that you two finally confessed?” Dr. Jaeger asked, raising an eyebrow.

You giggled quietly and Eren nodded.

He nodded back and said, “Congratulations, and finally. Now, I’m sorry to have to separate you two lovebirds, but I need to take some blood samples.”

You nodded and pulled away from Eren to offer your arm to his father. He tied a rubber strip around your arm and felt for your vein. Once he found it, he skillfully stuck the needle in your arm and collected the blood he needed.

“Eren, hold this here for me.” He said, nodding down to the folded cotton pad he had placed over the needlestick.

Eren’s tanned fingers gently pressed down on the cotton and his father went to dispose of the needle. He came back with a roll of (f/c) coban and wrapped it around your arm. You thanked him and moved back to your embrace with Eren.

“I’ll run these tests and when all the results are back, we’ll go over them. For now, relax.” Grisha said, nodding at you two.

You nodded and rested your head back on Eren’s chest. He rested his chin on top of your head and hummed happily. You talked idly for a little over half an hour before Dr. Jaeger came back in, a dark look on his face.

“I know that look,” Eren said, sounding a little scared, “And nothing good comes after it….”

Grisha sighed and pulled the rolling stool over again, sitting down in front of you.

“Don’t sugarcoat it.” You said, trying to steal your nerves.

“There are a few things that we need to discus,” Dr. Jaeger said, looking down at the clipboard in his hands, “Are you sure you ok with Eren hearing this information?”

You nodded and said, “Yes. He knows everything else now. I’m not going to hide anything from him anymore.”

Dr. Jaeger nodded and said, “Alright. We’ll your anemia has gotten worse, which judging by how low your iron levels are, is probably due to your lack of nutrition. And your extreme weight loss is most likely due to your body’s dependence on the drugs.”

You nodded at his words. You had kind of figured that would be the case, but you were dreading whatever other diagnoses you might get.

“You have a few other vitamin deficiencies and insufficiencies, but that’s to be expected.”

You nodded.

“Unfortunately, I have two more rather serious diagnoses for you.”

You swallowed hard and nodded, holding onto Eren’s hand tightly.

“The lesser of the two is that you have a bacterial infection. It can be taken care of with antibiotics though.” Dr. Jaeger said.

You closed your eyes and sighed sadly.

“It’s an STD… isn’t it…?” You asked, looking at him.

“Yes. You have chlamydia, which, like I said, is treatable,” Dr said, trying to reassure you, “All you have to do is take the antibiotics that I give you and abstain from any sexual activity for a while and you’ll be cured.”

You nodded sadly and asked, “What’s the other bad news?”

Dr. Jaeger fell silent and his face grew dark again. A chill ran down your spine at the look.

“Dad,” Eren said, “What is it?”

The man sighed heavily and said, “________, according to your blood test, you’re somewhere between four and six weeks pregnant….”

The blood drained out of your face and your heart dropped into your stomach. You could see Dr. Jaeger’s lips moving, but all you could hear was a high-pitched ringing. It hadn’t been the withdrawal that was making you so sick…. It was because you were pregnant….

“I think I'm gonna be sick…!” You said, jumping up from the exam table and running to the garbage can that was built into the counter next to the sink.

You hunched over it and heaved roughly, bringing up stomach acid again. Gentle hands gathered your hair away from your face and another hand rubbed your back. You retched a few more times before gasping and coughing.

“Rinse your mouth out dear.” Dr. Jaeger said, turning the water on and grabbing a small cup.

He filled it and handed it to you. You took the water in, swished it around and spit it out in the sink. You coughed a few more times before straightening up, stumbling slightly. Eren quickly steadied you and brought you into his chest. Tears flooded your eyes and you began to sob.

“What am I going to do…?!” You cried, grabbing onto Eren’s shirt tightly.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, hugging you tightly, “We’ll get through this. I swear…!”

You spent a while crying into your boyfriend’s chest before you were able to calm down.

“Eren, I want you to take ________ to our house,” Grisha said, taking his phone out, “I’ll call your mother and explain what’s going on. She’ll know how to help.”

Eren nodded and lead you out of the clinic and back to his car. He got you in and quickly drove to his house. He helped you out of the car and to the front door where his mother met you.

“Oh ________, darling.” She cooed, pulling you into a hug.

You started to cry again and she slowly brought you to the couch. She lowered you both down and stroked your hair. Eren came and sat on your other side and rested his hand on your knee, letting you know he was there. You managed to calm down quicker this time and pulled out of Carla’s loving embrace.

You sniffled and said, “Did Papa call you yet?”

Carla smiled lightly at the name you had called Grisha since your father died and nodded.

“I have a plan.” She said, petting your hair.

You nodded and Eren asked, “What is it?”

“There are obviously a few things that we need to address, but the first one is ________’s mother. We need to get the police involved.” Carla said.

You sighed. You were afraid she was going to say that.

“I know you don’t want to ________, but we have to,” Carla said, petting your hair gently, “But don’t worry, we’ll be with you the whole way.”

You nodded and asked, “What do we do after that?”

“We get you in a rehab program to get your body to not be dependent on the drugs anymore.” She answered.

You nodded again and looked down at your hands.

“What about… the baby…?” Eren asked, hesitant.

You peeked up at Carla through your lashes, curious to see her reaction.

She smiled a little sadly and said, “It’s still early on. We need to take care of those two things first, and then we’ll turn our attention to that. Oh, and we need to get that infection cleared up! That’s really priority number 1. Well, 1A, since we can do that and the police at the same time.”

You giggled a little at her, causing her to smile at you.

“Mom, can ________ stay with us from now on?” Eren asked.

“Of course! We’re getting that bitch thrown in jail so she needs somewhere to live. And this is the safest place for her.” Carla said.

You and Eren looked at the woman in shock.

“Mom!” Eren exclaimed, wide-eyed.

She looked at you two and asked, “What?”

“You never swear,” you giggled, “At least, not like that!”

The woman shrugged and said, “I’m just calling it like I see it.”

You giggled again and nodded.

“My mom should be out doing god knows what right now, so we should probably go get my stuff.” You said, looking to Eren.

He nodded and you stood, say goodbye to your new mother and going to the car. It didn’t take long to reach your house and you sighed in relief when you saw that your mother’s car was indeed gone. You quickly went inside and to your room. You went to your closet and reached for the large duffle bag that was on the top shelf, but couldn’t reach it.

“Need some help there?” Eren asked, coming up behind you and putting a hand on your waist.

“Yes please.” You said, tilting your head back so you could look up at him.

He smiled down at you and gave you a quick kiss before grabbing the bag. He placed it on your bed and helped you shove your small wardrobe into it. You didn’t have a lot of stuff, since you didn’t see any of the money you made from ‘working’, so your belongings were few and far between and all fit into your duffle and backpack. Shoving the last item into your bag, a photo of you and Eren from when you were kids, you froze as you heard the front door slam shut.

“________, are you back? Whose piece of shit car is that?” Your mother yelled, sounding mostly sober.

You took a deep, shuddering breath and felt Eren wrap his arms around you.

“We’ll make something up and get out of here quickly, I swear.” He whispered, kissing your forehead.

You nodded and took another deep breath before steeling your nerves and walking downstairs.

“There you are,” your mother said, her drawn on eyebrows pinching together when she saw you, “What the fuck is all this?”

Your mind blanked and you started to panic slightly, looking to Eren for help.

“Max asked to barrow some stuff from ________ for a project and since we were all planning on hanging out today, I just decided to drive her.” Eren said, forcing a smile.

Your mother eyed you both for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Whatever. As long as your back in time for our plans tonight.” She said, staring you down.

A chill ran down your spine and squeezed out “Yes ma’am….”

She nodded again and waved her hand dismissively as she walked towards the kitchen. You quickly ran out the door and Eren threw your bags into the back seat. You got in the car and Eren sped the whole way back to his house. Once there, he put your things in his room and you sat down with his mother again.

“So, you’re supposed to work tonight?” She asked, pulling out her phone.

You nodded and watched as she dialed a number.

“Hannes, hi, it’s Carla,” she said, tilting her head a little, “Listen, Grisha and I need a favor.”

She listened for a moment before humming.

“Great,” Carla said, smiling, “You remember Eren’s friend ________, right? Well, turns out her mother is a horrid bitch and has been forcing ________ into sex work for the past few years. She was so scared that she wasn’t able to tell us anything before today when she saw Grisha for an exam. The bitch has also been forcing ________ to take drugs. Is there any way to set her up tonight to get her arrested?”

She listened again and you could faintly hear someone talking on the other end of the line, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Wonderful. We’ll come by the station when Grisha gets home. Thanks.”

The woman hung up and looked at you with a smile.

“That hag should be in jail tonight.” She said, a sly smirk on her lips.

You were still a little shocked to see this side of Eren’s mother, but you kind of liked it. You smiled yourself and hugged your new mom, thanking her.

“What do we do after she’s arrested?” Eren asked.

“Well, first, since ________ is still 17, your father and I will have to take care of whatever legal paperwork needs to be done to become her guardians. Then, rehab.” Carla said, stroking your hair.

You nodded and reached out for Eren’s hand. He laced his fingers with yours and brought your hand up, kissing it lovingly. You ended up cuddling up with Eren on the couch watching tv with his mother while waiting for your father to get home. Once he arrived, you all got into his car and drove to the police station.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding as you watched a cop handcuff your mother.

“You little bitch! How dare you do this to me! I’ll make you regret it!!” She screeched, fighting against the cop.

You huffed out a breath and turned away from her, searching for Eren. You spotted him quickly and made your way to him. He hugged you and kissed your forehead. The next step now was rehab. It turns out that your new mom had a friend that ran a really nice rehab facility. And you didn’t have to pay for a thing, since the courts had decided that your biological mother owed you sever hundred thousand dollars for all of the trauma and damages she caused. You kept up with your school work while in rehab, but a little over two weeks into the program, you ended up in the hospital. They called Carla and your family quickly raced over.

“________,” Eren cried, bursting into you room, “Are you ok?! What happened?!”

You smiled tiredly at him and reached out for his hand. He quickly came to your side and held your hand with both of his.

“I miscarried.” You said simply.

Eren’s eyes widened at the news, and he didn’t know how to react, not knowing how you felt.

“How do you feel about the situation?” Your mom asked, sitting next to you on your bed and petting your head.

You smiled sadly and said, “I’m a little sad but, it’s best that this happened. I’m not ready for a baby and I honestly don’t know how I would have handled having a child from that situation. So, I'm ok.”

Eren frowned and said, “You don’t look like you’re ok.”

You laughed lightly and said, “I meant mentally and emotionally. Physically I’m tired as fuck and still in pain. Both from rehab and this. But I really am fine. I’ll be better in no time, I promise.”

Eren sighed lightly but nodded. You leaned up and kissed him gently before resting back in your bed.

Two months later, you were back home with Eren and your new family and you would be graduation high school soon. You were clean and sober a little over two months and you had recovered from the miscarriage completely. Your life was normal now, and you couldn’t be any happier with your boyfriend and your new family.

[wannabemobwife]

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas - Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Sinking Friendships

Dad!Mob!Tom x Mom!Mob!Reader

-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield

-Warnings: Language, Blood, Car accident, hospital scenes/talk, small talk of religion (sorry it just felt right for the story), angst, fighting, typos

-Words: 5.6K

Author note: Sorry for the shit writing, it was so hard to write the car accident. Tried to make it as medically accurate as possible. Most knowledge derived from Grey’s Anatomy/WebMD. Sorry this chapter is long. Feel free to leave comments or message me directly your feelings while reading the chapter. Every message I've received is so sweet thank you all.

*Anytime 3 dots/ellipses (…) its a sob/breath and a moment of reflection during dialogue.

Chapter 8: Sinking Friendships

Words: 5.6K

Sirens, flashing lights and screams were the only thing Henry remembered. It all happened so fast. One minute Henry and Rosie were laughing together getting lost in each other’s eyes and the next they were both unconscious awaiting their death.

There was no time for Henry to react in anyway. No swerves or movements were made to prevent the impact. A maroon truck had collided Roise’s side, jolting her entire body. Her door was dented beyond belief.

From the forceful impact caused their car skid on the pavement, wearing the paint job away, and crash into the street pole. Henry’s entire body screamed out in pain, his injuries weren’t as bad as Rosie’s though.

“Rosie? Rosie! Rosie!!” Henry called out, desperately wanting to hear her lovely voice. Panic and heartbreak ensued when he saw blood dripping down the side of her head.

Rosie wasn’t moving. How could she be full of life one minute and the next, not? Henry reached over and placed two fingers below her jaw searching for a pulse. He felt he was able to breathe once her felt her few and far between heartbeats, it was faint but it was still there.

“Darling, wake up. Rosie, wake up! Open your eyes for me.”

Henry could feel himself fading by the moment. He used his last breaths to tell the girl he loved he was sorry. Her life was hanging by a thread and in that moment Henry was utterly useless. Praying that she would wake and he would get to hold her again, as everything faded to black.

It had to be about 15 minutes. 15 minutes for an ambulance to arrive. 15 minutes that Henry and Rosie had been unconscious for. 15 minutes of complete stillness, as everyone outside the vehicle panicked. The witness had called 911 multiple times and the other driver was unconscious at his wheel.

After those brutal and possible life ending minutes, help finally arrived. They pulled Henry from the wreck, putting him on a gurney.

“Sir, can you hear me?” called out the paramedic. “Yes. My girlfriend, help her please,” Henry was pleading for his life. How could he be so careless, it was only an accident? “Sir, just lay back. Let us take care of you,” the paramedic uttered, putting her hand on his shoulder to hold him down.

“No. I need to make sure she is okay.”

“Sir, you need to restrain yourself. The other paramedics have got her.”

“ROSIE! Just please let me know if she is okay,” screamed Henry.

“Sedate him please. I’ll go check on the girl,” said the paramedic. Henry faded into a deep sleep a moment later.

“Hey, how’s the girl? Her boyfriend won’t stop asking,” asked the paramedic to the one attending to Rosie. “Unresponsive. She has head trauma and a pulse, thank god,” he murmured. Henry was sent along with Rosie to Kingston Memorial hospital. The hospital was 20 mins away, so much can happen in that time.

Everyone else was sleeping soundly within the walls of the Holland Manor. It started to become a common theme that phone calls in the middle of the night usually meant someone was hurt. This time it was Harrison calling.

“Haz? It’s so late why are you calling?” You asked, jolting awake.

“There’s been an accident and Tom didn’t answer when I called. It’s Rosie and Henry. It sounded bad, Y/N.”

“Oh my god. I’ll see you there,” you responded, barely forming the words as tears started to fall.

“TOM WAKE UP!” you screamed, shaking him awake.

“What?… I’m up. I’m up.”

“There’s been accident.” No more words were said, they just hopped in the car and drove as fast as possible. Tom knuckles grew white clutching around the steering wheel. He couldn’t even begin to fathom a world with his Rosie in it. Harrison was already there, pacing in the waiting room.

“Haz. Where is she?” you said, tears begging to fall.

“I don’t know they won’t tell me anything because I’m not family,” Harrison answered.

“Fuck that, you are our family. How’s Henry?” Tom exclaimed.

“He’s ok. Just a minor concussion and dislocated shoulder, he’s in there right now. They are putting his shoulder back in its socket. He was really lucky but, I am worried about Rosie.” Haz said, just as a doctor dressed in surgical scrubs approached them.

“Are you here for Rosie Holland?” asked the doctor, Tom just nodded in response.

“Mr. and Mrs. Holland, I presume,” continued the doctor

“Yes, that’s us,” Tom replied, clasping your hand in his. He tried to put on a brave face for his wife. You couldn’t both be a mess.

“Ok, Rosie is still in surgery. With extensive injuries like hers we like to keep the family updated as much as possible. Your daughter was the nearest point of impact. She came in with a puncture wound to the abdomen, a severe concussion, massive internal bleeding, many cuts caused by broken glass and severe trauma to her head.”

“Will she be okay?” you asked, accidentally interrupting the doctor.

“Let him finish darling,” Tom said, his grip on her hand tightening.

“It is still too early to know. I have to get back.”

“Alright Doctor, thank you,” Tom acknowledged. You just fell into Tom’s arms, letting all the tears you were holding back fall. You broke into a fit of sobs in his embrace.

“Tom, I don’t want to lose her. I can’t lose her. She’s our baby,” you whimpered, your tears staining his t-shirt

“Shh, darling. She’ll pull through. Remember she is just like her strong mother.”Tom whispered, rubbing a soothing hand over your back.

“Have you gotten in touch with Parker?” Asked Tom as he continued to comfort you.

“No, I’ve been trying. Leaving message after message… Why fuck isn’t he picking up?” yelled Haz. Just then, Henry had walked up, sporting a cloth sling His heart nearly broke as he saw you crying your eyes out buried in Tom’s arms.

“No. No, no, no. Don’t tell me she didn’t make it.” Henry cried as his knees started to buckle at the thought of losing Rosie.

“Henry no, she’s still in surgery. Hey, come here.” Harrison said trying to calm down his son.

“Henry, what the happened?” Tom asked, scared for his daughters life.

“What were you doing with Rosie anyway? It’s late.” Tom questioned again after Henry stood silent, growing louder.

“Hey, Tom. Back off,” Harrison said, standing in front of Tom.

“No. I want to know the reason why my daughter is in there fighting for her god damm life.” Tom screamed. Henry was like a deer caught in headlights. He couldn’t lie his way out of this one. His eyes just shifted between Tom, you and his dad.

“A truck hit Rosie’s side when I was driving, I’m sorry, it was an accident.” Henry cried, barely able to get the words out.

“Son, we know it was an accident. It wasn’t your fault,” Harrison said, comforting Henry.

“Where? Where were you guys?” Tom pestered on.

“Umm, we were on our way back from… from a date. We are dating.” Henry muttered, his eyes glued to the floor.

“What? Y/N did you know about this?” Tom asked, ready to throw hands.

“Yes, Tom,” you murmured, avoiding Tom’s disappointed glare.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” Tom screeched.

“And for you. Who the fuck said you could date my daughter?” Tom bellowed, pointing his finger at the poor boy.

“I did kind of give them permission by keeping their secret. In your own time frame though you were supposed to ask Tom,” you muttered, bouncing between Henry and Tom.

“Wait. For how long? For how fucking long?” Tom cursed.

“2 months.” Henry whispered.

“2 months. 2 fucking months. You were lying to me?” Tom screamed, he was livid at you.

“I don’t want you dating her,” Tom growled with an unchanging expression.

“I’m sorry, sir. What?” Henry asked, dumbfounded by Tom’s response.

“Tom, what?” Haz faltered.

“Tom don’t do this, he is a good kid,” you begged.

“Break up with my daughter or there will be hell to pay,” Tom declared and with that he walked away.

“Tom, you can’t do that to them,” you yelled after Tom.

“Really Y/N watch me” Tom said, ignoring his family. His heart had been broken too many times tonight. First when he heard about the accident, another when he had learned of Rosie’s injuries and another when he found out that you had been lying to him. His mind needed to be on one person right now, Rosie.

Tom managed to cool off, but immediately changed the subject anytime you would start to apologize. He didn’t have the energy to focus or listen, all he cared about was Rosie. Parker had showed up 10 mins later, he was off doing god knows what.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Tom yelled, as he saw Parker come through the sliding doors.

“Sorry. I just got your message. Is she okay?” Parker explained.

“We don’t know she is still in surgery,” you whispered, trying to hold back tears.

“What I went out for a bit and shut my phone off. What’s the big deal?” Parker asked.

“The big deal is that I didn’t know where you were. I couldn’t get in touch you. Rosie was in a car accident and I couldn’t call you,” screamed Tom, still angry from the conversation that just perspired

“And Henry?” Parker question, ignoring Tom’s scolding.

“He’s ok. Haz is with him right now, they went to get some coffee,” you informed him.

“Are you okay, mom?” Parker asked, remembering the conversation they had the night before.

“I’ve been better. Just glad you are here,” you said, bringing him into a warm embrace. As they all stood together as a family, Rosie’s doctor came to update them.

“She is out of surgery and stable. Her heart did stop and we were able to resuscitate her, she’s in the ICU now…”

“Can we see her?” Tom asked, interrupting the doctor. A huge weight had just been lifted off his shoulders, his baby girl was going to be okay.

“Yes, but you need to know something. Her brain started to swell in surgery so we had to put her in a medically induced coma to bring down the swelling. We don’t know when she will wake up or if she will at all,” explained the doctor.

All the Hollands stood like statues, unable to process the news. You felt as though you had been punched in the stomach, you wouldn’t be able to handle losing your baby girl.

Minutes, hours and days had melded together. It had been 6 days since the accident and Rosie was still the same, laying unconscious in a hospital bed hooked up to various machines. All of you stayed at the hospital expect for Harrison and Henry. Harrison was running the mob for Tom, for the time being.

You refused to leave her side, spending every waking and sleeping hour right beside her. Seeing your daughter like this was killing you. You weren’t getting any sleep and your hair started thinning.

Rosie looked pale and lifeless, the only thing guaranteeing she was alive was the incessant heart monitor. Her bruises had started to heal, changing from a vibrant purple to an opaque yellow. Everyone prayed she would wake up.

Henry tried to visit everyday but Tom wouldn’t allow it. He was still furious his daughter was dating him and everyone else knew about it except him. Tom’s heart ached for Rosie to wake up and be his funny, sassy, brave girl once again. Tom, however couldn’t stand how the waiting was making you feel.

“Darling. Wake up!” Tom whispered, gently shaking you.

“What? Did something happen? Is Rosie ok?” You exasperated, jolting out of your sleep and trying to catch your breath.

“No, she’s fine. It has just been a while since you had gone home and cleaned up. It might do you some good, baby,” Tom pleaded.

“Tom, I can’t leave her,” you whispered.

“Y/N, it’s ok. Let me take you home and Parker will be here in case anything were to happen,” Tom explained.

You were hesitant at first but eventually agreed, it had been awhile since you had showered or had a decent meal. Living off of the same sweatshirt and hospital cafeteria snacks for the past couple days. All your energy had been put into watching Rosie.

While Tom took you home, Parker was tasked with watching his sister. As kids they were both active and had gotten hurt, only most ever being a broken bone, never a life or death situation. Not only was Rosie Parker’s sister, but she was his twin.

His built in best friend. There had never been a time where he didn’t know her, maybe the first 5 mins of his life, but Rosie soon followed. Sure they fought and argued like all siblings do, but they couldn’t imagine their life without each other. He needed her sarcastic comments and infectious laughter to brighten his day. He needed her warm, slightly awkward hugs and her bitchy attitude once in a while. Parker didn’t know what he’d do without her.

“Rosie, I don’t know if you can hear me but mom is a mess, dad has barely said to word and everyone just needs you to wake up. I need you to wake up…. We all do, especially Henry,” Parker whispered.

“God, he secretly loves you. He hasn’t had the balls to tell you yet, but if that it is what you need to wake up, then do it….Let that be it…. That he loves you, Rosie…. He loves you.”

“I know what it is like to lose someone you love. Charlotte didn’t have a choice, but you do. You can fight and come back to us…. Come back to Henry. He needs you. He calls me every night asking if you had woken up yet. Dad banned him from visiting the hospital. Really fucked that one up didn’t you Roo…. You should’ve told him about you and Henry, but that’s beside the point…. The point is let today or tomorrow or next week be the day I tell him you did…. Just promise me you will wake up ok. I know I don’t say it often but I love you.” Parker got everything he needed to say off his chest. Tears had managed to escape from his eyes as he held her hand. Henry was standing in the doorway, when Parker poured his heart out.

“Hey mate. Mind if I have a minute with my girl?” Henry spoke.

“Not at all. Perfect timing, my parents just left,” Parker said, getting up from his crouched position.

“Yeah, I know. I was parked in the parking lot, waiting for them to leave.”

“How much of that did you hear?”

“Oh, none. None what so ever.”

“So practically all of it?” Parker said in response.

“Yeah,” Henry just nodded along.

“I’ll leave you guys alone,” Parker said as left the room.

Now it was just Henry and Rosie.

Tom had forbidden Henry from seeing her, he hasn’t even gotten to hold her hand. Henry tried to hold back tears as he saw the girl he loved looking half-dead. Her skin had lost its color and her necklace, the one he had given her, was stained with blood sitting in a bag on her bedside.

“Hey Roo. I’ve missed you…. Life hasn’t been the same these past few days. I’ve missed all your good night and good morning texts and your smile.” Henry started.

“Everyone wants you to wake up. They need you to wake up. Can you just open your eyes and flash that smile for me? I need it and I need you…. Rosie,… here it goes,… I love you. I couldn’t stand the thought of you never knowing I love you. So there it is, I love you.”

“I love everything about you…. Your eyes, your laugh, even that weird snort you do. I love you and that has to be enough. It has to be enough for you to wake up and come back to me…. Don’t just do it for me, do it for Parker and your dad and your mom. They have all been losing their minds without you.”

“Rosie, please baby. I love you and that has to be enough,” Henry concluded as tears streaked his face. He moved to press a chaste kiss to her forehead when all of a sudden machines starting going off and beeping left and right.

“Rosie? Rosie stay with me!” Henry didn’t know what was happening. All he knew as that she was still alive and prayed to god he wouldn’t hear her flatlining.

Rosie’s body started to jerk and shake, involuntary. The room filled with nurses and doctors, rolling Rosie on to her side. Her muscles spasming everywhere.

“Sir, you need to leave,” said the nurse, prying Henry away from Rosie.

“No, please let me stay with her,” Henry cried, refusing to avert his eyes from Rosie.

“You need to leave. Let us help her.”

Henry stood crying, peering through the glass doors at the love his life slipping before his very eyes. Her seizure only lasted about 8 minutes but, minutes bleed to hours as tears refused to stop.

“Henry? What happened?” Parker said, running up to Henry crouched on the floor with his knees to his chest and head buried.

“I don’t know. They forced me to leave. Her body started shaking violently, I don’t know what happened,” Henry sniffled, titling his head up. His eyes were beet red and his face was riddled with tears. Parker just stood there dumbfounded. He only left for 10 minutes to get some water. How could so much go wrong in that time.

“Young man, are your parents here,” asked the doctor as everyone came out of Rosie’s room.

“No, they went home to grab some things. Why?… Is she dead?” Parker questioning, pulling at the roots of his hair.

“No, she’s alive, but we can’t share any further information till they get here,” explained the doctor. Parker just nodded in response and Henry was able to breath again, exhaling the breath he was unaware he was holding.

Parker was about to make the call he dreaded. This was the entire reason you refused to leave, in case anything were to happen.

“Parker, what’s up. Is Rosie okay?” Tom said as he answered the Parker’s call.

“Dad, no, you need to get to the hospital. Something happened with Rosie but, they won’t tell me anything,” Parker said, his voice wavering.

“Oh my god, I’ll be right there,” Tom said, hanging up the phone. He had been refusing the chance to break down, he felt as though he had to be strong for everyone else.

“Y/N! Y/N!!” Tom screamed through the house. The one time Tom tries to do something good everything gets screwed up.

“Tom, what?” You exclaimed, startled by his screams

“Something happened with Rosie,” Tom said, a fews tears dripped down his face.

“What? No. No, no, no. I wasn’t there. I’m her mom and I wasn’t there. Why the fuck did you make me leave?” You cried, feeling like a terrible mother. You never should’ve left.

“I’m sorry. Be mad at me later, let’s just go,” Tom said, grabbing his car keys.

Tom’s reckless driving was not the problem at the moment, you just need to be there for Rosie. At the hospital, Tom barely parked properly before they were running through the halls. He came upon Parker in the waiting room, looking disheveled as fuck. His eyes were puffy eyes and hair stood up, he could tell his son was tugging on it in frustration.

Tom needed something to take his mind off Rosie. He needed to punch something or beat someone up or even just take his angry out with words.

“Parker, what happened? Is she okay?” You said, scared for Rosie’s life.

“I don’t know. No one has come out of her room,” Parker explained and you just nodded in response, trying not to cry again.

“Parker, what the fuck is Henry doing in here?” Tom demanded.

“Umm,” Parker mumbled.

“I’m sorry sir, I needed to see her,” Henry said profusely, apologizing

“I don’t care what fuck you needed to do. You are the reason she is dying. You were the one driving,” Tom screamed.

“Tom it was an accident,” you said, trying to reassure yourself in the process.

“Y/N I don’t understand how you can take his side when he almost killed our baby girl.”

“Like, I said it was an accident!” you explained.

“Nurse! Nurse!” Tom yelled.

“Yes, sir. Do you need the doctor?” asked the nurse, worried someone was bleeding.

“No. I want to know who the fuck let this boy in here.” Tom thundered.

“I don’t know sir, I’m so sorry. This won’t happen again,” she explained.

“Tom he can stay. If he is telling the truth about loving Rosie this concerns him as much as it concern us,” you said. This must be killing Henry like it was to you.

“No, he fucking can’t. Now get out, before I have you escorted out of here in a body bag,” Tom threatened.

“Alright, I’ll go. Just please, tell me if she wakes up,” Henry pleaded, slowly walking away. He wasn’t going to go home, he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave, not when Rosie was still in that state.

They all saw the doctor come out of the room and quickly cornered him. A grim expression draped across his face created uneasiness in everyone.

“I’m Y/N Holland, I’m her mother. What happened? I just left for twenty minutes,” you asked, tears streaming down your face as you barged in the room.

“We put her on a ventilator, the seizure was caused by lack of oxygen to her brain,” the doctor said.

“I’m sorry, what? She had a seizure?” Tom said, trying to put the puzzle pieces together.

“Yes. Her brain function has remained unchanged for several days now. In my expert opinion, her outlook isn’t very good. I would prepare yourselves. We can keep her comfortable if you would like or we can arrange her to be moved to a facility where she will possibly heal in the future,” explained the doctor.

“What are you saying? She’s brain dead?” asked Parker chiming in.

“It’s too still early to give a definitive diagnosis, but most likely, yes. I’m sorry for your loss.” The doctor said, exiting the room. You wanted to die right in that moment. A piece of you died the second those words slipped out, you were inconsolable.

“Y/N. Baby, come here,” Tom whispered. Trying to reach out for you, his broken wife.

“Don’t fucking touch me. I should’ve never let you convince me to leave,” you cried.

The guilt was enormous for everything. You were the one who let Rosie and Henry date, without that they would have never been driving together. Never gotten in the accident, you couldn’t help but feel responsible.

It was always the same feeling, you felt walking into Rosie’s hospital room. The feeling of drowning or being burned alive. It’s indescribable. A feeling felt by those who lose their children. You put them on this earth and for them to leave it before you was wrong.

“Rosie, I’m so sorry I left baby. I’m here now and I’m never leaving,” you said, combing your hand through her brown locks.

“But its okay if you need to. It’s okay. I’ll be alright, we all will be…. You can let go…. I love you so much sweetheart, don’t every forget how much mommy loves you…. You can rest now,” you said, moving to Rosie’s side to take her hand in yours. Seeing Rosie like this was tearing you apart from the seems.

It wasn’t long before all tears had put you to sleep. Tom had covered you up with a blanket. You talked to Rosie as though she could hear you. Maybe she could, maybe not but, you definitely wished she could. Tom hadn’t had the chance to break down like you. You needed him to be the strong one, but he was human too.

“Rosie, it’s dad. Everyone besides me has gotten the chance to talk to you, so here it goes,” Tom started.

“I know your mother said that is was ok to leave, but it is not. You hear me. Don’t you dare leave…. Rosie, darling you need to fight. Fight whatever it is that will bring you back to us. You are so much stronger than you lead on baby.”

“I love you so much, please come back to us…. I don’t know if your mother can take losing you. Also that boy you secretly hid from me. Once you wake up you are grounded. I don’t know why you fell for that scruffy looking kid but he needs you, baby. We all do,” Tom concluded. There was no easy fix to this problem. He couldn’t go out and torture somebody or beat them til they broke. Not even money could fix this. He felt completely and utterly useless.Tom reached out to the only thing that could help his daughter, God.

“Hey, god above, I don’t really have a name for you. You are just the one who watches over people, you could be from any religion. I don’t know,” Tom said, clasping his hand together as he spoke to the heavens above.

“I know we don’t talk often and I’m sorry for that and I’m sorry for the despicable acts I’ve committed but I need you help…. My daughter needs your help. She was in a car accident and she hasn’t woken up yet. She’s so young, she has her entire life ahead of her and I want her to experience it all…. I’d really like to walk her down the aisle someday. Can you just bring her back to me? That’s all I ask, just bring her back.”

“Thank you. Shit, I’m believe I’m supposed to say amen and I’m sorry for cursing a second ago. Just remember what we talked about, do this for her not me. God knows I don’t deserve it,” Tom said, ending his plea to the god or gods above.

Tom couldn’t of imagined better timing, with his speech, Rosie’s fingers started to twitch in his hand.

“Y/N wake up?” Tom yelled.

“What, I’m up. Is she ok?” You asked, confused by his outburst.

“Better than ok, her hand moved,” Tom explained.

“Oh my god, really? Parker go get the doctor,” you said, moving towards Rosie.

“Rosie?” Tom said as she started to stir.

“Rosie, baby. I’m here” you said, holding her hand. Rosie eyes fluttered open as she choked on the intubation tube, which gave her oxygen.

“Shh, you’re ok. You were in a car accident with Henry. You’re ok,” you said, softly. The look on Rosie’s face broke your heart. She looked so confused and overwhelmed all you wanted to do was hold her and never let go. Yes, she was a teenager but she will always be your baby girl.

Parker quickly brought the doctor in and he conducted a neurological exam. He removed the tube down her throat, allowing her to breath normally.

“Rosie, you’re awake. Don’t try to talk, it will feel weird for a while. I can get you something for the pain. I’m going to have you do a few tests. Blink once for yes and twice for no, ok?” The doctor explained. Rosie followed his instructions and blinked once. You and Tom were holding each other, praying Rosie didn’t have any brain damage.

“Follow the light for me please. Good. Squeeze my hand. Good grip… These are all amazing signs. Everything looks good. No neurological deficits, but I still would like to get an MRI for her. In the meantime, just rest. It’s going to feel weird as your brain has basically been sleeping for a week,” the doctor concluded, leaving everyone alone to rejoice.

“Mom?” Rosie said, her voice extremely hoarse.

“Yeah, honey. Take it easy,” you said. Words couldn’t describe how you were feeling, you got your daughter back.

“Where’s Henry?” Rosie croaked out.

“He’s ok Rosie, I believe he is outside. Would you like to see him?” You asked, much to Tom’s dismay. Rosie just nodded in response, trying to make everything seem less hazy.

“Rosie,” Henry said with a biggest smile on his face. Nothing could bring this boy down from cloud 9, she was ok. The love of his life was ok.

“Hi,” she said with a half-smile. That’s all she could must her up with her energy.

“Thank god you’re okay. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Henry said, kissing her forehead.

“We will give you two a minute,” you said, pulling Tom and Parker out of the room. Tom was giving you a bunch of harsh glares, he knew what you were doing. However, he too ecstatic that Rosie was awake to be mad at Henry.

“Are you okay? How do you feel?” Henry asked concerned.

“I’m okay. Henry, I have to tell you something,” Rosie responded.

“I love you…. Walking up in the hospital bed just made me realize who cares if it’s too soon or if you don’t feel the same way, I just had to tell you. I love you,” Rosie declared. This was his chance, break her heart and walk away, she didn’t deserve to be here in a hospital bed. Tom was right, Henry knew what he had to do.

“Rosie, I think we should break up,” Henry said, already feeling like he made the biggest mistake of his life.

“What, why? Did I do something wrong? I thought we were happy. Just yesterday you said you were falling in love me. What the fuck happened?” Rosie faltered, confused by everything.

“Rosie, it’s just not working,” Henry exclaimed with the lamest excuse.

“Fine. Leave,” she said, trying to not let tears fall.

“Roo, we can still be friends.”

“Don’t fucking say that to me. You don’t get to call me that anymore,” Rosie screamed.

“Rosie, I’m sorry,” Henry tried to say something else but was cut off.

“Just get the fuck out. I’m serious, FUCKING LEAVE!!” she thundered as he left. Henry felt like literal shit and an asshole and a fucking idiot all at once. He had just broken the heart of the girl he loves. It was never supposed to happen this way.

“Henry? What’s wrong?” You asked as you saw Henry storm through the halls.

“Are you happy Tom? I did it,” Henry barked.

“Glad she’s awake. Y/N you should go in there, she needs you,” Henry exclaimed, before leaving for good this time.

“Tom, we need to talk about Rosie and Henry,” you said, furious at Tom and his decision to break them up.

“He’s gonna fucking break her heart and I won’t allow it,” Tom yelled.

“You can’t keep them apart and you already did that,” you said sternly, you couldn’t believe the nerve on your husband.

“Y/N end of fucking discussion. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. We don’t keep secrets from each other. For fucks sake, how fucking stupid are you? Letting our daughter whore around with that kid, just like you did,” he vociferated.

“Whore around like I did? Really? Why don’t you look in the fucking mirror?” You screamed, zero fucks were given.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Tom barked.

“I know about you and Jazz.”

“What?”

“You went to a hotel and met her there. Tell me I’m wrong,” you interjected. Tom was too furious to explain his actions, he let you believe he cheated on you.

“Your silence answers my question,” you remarked, wanting to break down inside.

“Tom, just so you know you're sleeping on the couch tonight,” you said. You had your answer now. How could Tom do that to you. I didn’t matter in that moment all that mattered was consoling your daughter who Tom broke.

“Real fucking mature Y/N,” Tom yelled, as you walked away.

“Rosie?” You asked, knocking on her door.

“Mom… he broke up with me,” Rosie said as tears fell.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know what I did wrong…. I swear to god if he met some other chick while I was in a coma.”

“No, nothing like that,” you said, trying to comfort your daughter. There is nothing like a first heartbreak.

“There has to be a reason. One minute I was in love with a boy who loved me back and now, I’m not.”

“Shh, it's okay,” you said, rubbing you hand down Rosie’s back as you pulled her into your arms. How could Henry actually do that to her and flee the scene like a coward. Parker managed to chase him down in the parking lot.

“What the fuck Henry?” Parker called after him

“I did it because I love her,” Henry exclaimed, continuing to walk away.

“Bullshit,” Parker yelled as he punched Henry square in the jaw.

“Owww.”

“I said, I’d fucking hurt you if you broke her heart.”

“Yeah, I know. It was still a shitty threat, but I deserved that.”

“I don’t understand what happened Henry. One minute you tell me you love her the next you don’t…. I don’t know if I will ever understand but you can’t come by the house for awhile,” Parker pleaded, wanting to know the truth.

“Alright. Just tell her I’m sorry mate.” Henry concluded, feeling like literal shit and an asshole and a fucking idiot all at once. He had just broken the heart of the girl he loves. It was never supposed to happen this way.

Author note: I'm sorry for all those who love Rosie and Henry. Don't be afraid to call me a bitch for breaking your heart, my brother did when he read it. Also Tom is a literal asshole in this chapter.

I really can't wait for you guys to read the next ones, even if you don't ask for it. I will post hints for the next chapter with emojis because it's fun.

Guns, Glamour, Goodfellas Masterlist

Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort @bi-lmg @allthisfortommy

[calpalirwin]

Nights in the OR

A/N: This is called “I watch too much Grey’s Anatomy” so if you’re a fellow Grey’s fan in addition to a fellow Ashton ho, hi!

Word Count: 1.9k

And away, and away we go!

__

Nights on the peds floor we’re, in a word, uneventful. Low hums and beeps from machines doing their jobs while kids and parents alike snoozed between nurses prodding them awake to do their routine checks. You went through the charts of your patients, delegating a duo of an intern and older resident to each case with strict orders to page you only if something was seriously wrong, and a bright “Keep the tiny humans alive,” before making your way to the emergency room.

The trauma team usually ran the emergency room, a sea of green scrubs moving effectively and efficiently, assessing situations before paging the right departments, or diving headfirst into the work themselves. You caught sight of one of the doctors, a tall man in a shade of green scrubs darker than the rest in the room, and rolled your eyes. Attending trauma surgeon Ashton Irwin was about as arrogant as he was skilled, with an annoying habit of assessing quickly, albeit correctly, and working even faster on patients before shipping them off to the correct departments to deal with the fallout. You weren’t sure if that man had ever spent more than an hour, two tops, with a patient from start to finish. True to his arrogance and almost zero tolerance for sloppy mistakes, he was talking in hushed tones to a second year, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, jaw set, as the resident nodded frantically before running off.

Dr. Irwin took a moment to compose himself, giving the slightest shake of his head and relaxing his jaw, before turning to wherever he was needed next. His hazel eyes scanned the room, and even from where you were you could tell that they were more on the green side tonight as they met yours. He offered forth the smallest of nods and smiles in your direction, dimples indenting both sides of the smile.

You returned the gesture, before twirling your index finger about the room. Extra attending on hand.

He waved his hand. No need. Got it covered, thanks.

You smiled your best, I don’t give a damn smile, striding across the room to take a seat behind a computer, crossing your hands behind your head. And with little else to do on your part, you settled in for a long night of researching the pros and cons of artificial bones versus prosthetics in cases for patients with osteosarcoma, a joint effort you were working on with the orthopedic surgeon.

Around 2 in the morning, you took a break from your research to grab a cup of coffee and a small bite to eat. On your way back, you spotted the orthopedic surgeon with a patient. “Oh! Dr. Hood,” you said as you approached. “Come find me when you’re done. I have some ideas.”

The man swiveled on his chair to glance up at you, eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “You’re not in OR 2 with Ash?”

“Nnnnoooo…” you said slowly, taking a sip from your coffee. “Why?” you followed up in a clipped tone. What had Dr. Arrogant done now?

Dr. Hood smiled politely at his patient, and got the attention of his resident. “Ma’am, we’re going to take you up for X-rays now, and then we’ll see about setting your arm for you, okay?”

The woman nodded, clearly shaken up. Then, “What about my husband and son?”

“I’ll get word, and update you as soon as I can,” he promised, before the resident escorted the patient up to X-rays. Finally he turned his attention to you. “Car accident just came in. Parents are a little banged up. Mike and Luke are working up the dad. You know how Luke gets about stitches.”

The both of you shared a chuckle. Luke Hemmings, the plastic surgeon, had very high standards for even the most basic of stitches, and if he was on hand and free, it was an easy bet he’d do the work himself. “So, what’s Mike doing with him then, if it’s just stitches?” you asked, referring to the general surgeon.

He shrugged. “General work up and clearance, I suppose. But the mom and the son’s side took the impact the hardest. Specifically the son. Ash didn’t page you?”

You scoffed. “Why on Earth would Ash page me, Cal? It’s trauma,” you raised your hands and voice in a mocking manner.

“Uh, probably cuz the kid is like seven.”

You growled low in your throat, hands going to tie up your hair. “OR 2, you said? How long ago?”

“Not too long. They gotta still be prepping. So if you hurry…”

“Thanks, Cal,” you patted the man on the shoulder before taking off at a run towards the OR rooms, briefly mourning your discarded coffee and potato chips in the process.

When you shouldered your way into the room, Ashton was in the process of scrubbing in, while nurses finished prep. “What the hell are you doing?” you demanded, arms crossing instinctively over your chest as you made your presence known.

Ashton shut off the water with his elbow, turning slightly to face you. “My job,” was the reply in a tone that questioned your intelligence.

“Bullshit,” you spat. “That,” you pointed out the window towards the child on the table, “is a peds case, and you know it.”

“It will be once it stops being a trauma case, yes.”

“Why didn’t you page me?”

“Because I don’t need you. It’s a trauma case. I’m a trauma surgeon. Now, you want to stop asking inane questions, and let me do my job, or you wanna stand here and fight with me all night?”

“It’s a peds trauma case, and in case you forgot, I’m the peds attending who happens to be trauma certified. And I’ll be damned if you do some hacksaw job on my patient that I have to fix later when I can scrub in and do the correct job now. So, are you going to ask me to scrub in, or do you wanna stand here questioning my credentials all night when you know I’m right? Do not make me go above your head to the Chief, Ash, because you know I will.”

His jaw ticked underneath his mask, his eyes hard as he thought over your threat. “Well?” he snapped after a beat of silence. “Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to scrub in?”

~~~

It was a grueling surgery, working in tandem with Ashton. For all the shit the two of you gave each other outside of the OR, inside you were one of the best teams, each of you knowing each other’s moves before you made them, and knowing what the other was thinking in the subtlest of changes. Even with both of your focuses solely on the patient in front of you, you were both vigilant in sending Ashton’s intern out every hour on the hour with updates, in which you two were also informed of the parents’ recovery.

Just before the four hour mark, Ashton let out a small hum of approval and you nodded. “Close and get him a room on the peds floor,” you told the intern.

“You don’t want me to update the family?”

“No,” Ashton cut in, already discarding his gloves, mask, and removing his scrub cap, shocks of curly brown hair falling forward and plastering to his sweaty forehead. “I will. Give Dr. Y/L/N any trouble and you won’t see the inside of an OR for a month.”

The intern gulped, knowing their boss meant what he said and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Y/N, I’ll meet you after I update the family to make sure we’re on the same page for how to proceed from here?”

“If you can remember how to page me, that is,” you smiled sweetly.

Ashton chuckled as he left the OR, while you stayed to oversee the intern closing, providing probably much gentler instruction than they were used to.

~~~

You rubbed at your eyes and stifled a yawn as you made your way to the cafeteria, still waiting for Ashton to page you. As you walked in, you realized why Ashton still hadn’t paged, spotting the man chatting with a few other attendings.

“Heard Y/N chewed your ear off,” Michael snickered.

“Yeah, she was pissed. Thanks for that, Cal,” Ashton said with a small giggle before changing his voice to do his best impersonation of you, “ ‘It’s a peds trauma case, and in case you forgot, I’m the peds attending who also happens to be trauma certified. Do not make me go over your head.’ Like yes, darling, I know. I’m the one who gave you your trauma certification.”

As the men started to laugh, you set your tray down in an empty seat at their table. “Morning, gentlemen!”

There was a cough as they tried to stifle their laughter, each of them getting out a choked, “Morning.”

“What were we talking about?” you asked innocently.

“Uh… just how Luke needs to learn to loosen up on the stitches,” Michael thought quickly. “Turns a five minute procedure into a half hour ordeal, it’s insane.”

“Sorry that I care how my patients look after a trauma,” Luke said with an eye roll.

“I’m sure, psych would call that mentality projection,” Calum teased.

“Paging Dr. Pretty Boy!” Ashton cackled.

“Hey! Rather be Dr. Pretty Boy than Dr. Arrogant,” Luke rounded on Ashton playfully.

“Who calls me that?”

“Uh… everybody. Y/N’s pretty accurate with her nicknaming,” Calum grinned.

Ashton let out a breath of disbelief as you smiled sheepishly at him, shrugging your shoulders. “Have you considered being less arrogant?”

“I am not arrogant!”

“Yeah, you are,” you all chorused, while Ashton crossed his arms and pouted. “Oh, whatever, the best surgeons usually are” you continued, turning your attention to Calum. “Before I got stuck in surgery, I meant to talk to you about artificial bones. Found some promising stuff.”

Calum paused in his sip of coffee. “Mmm, shit, awesome. Uh…” he checked his watch, “I got a half hour before rounds. You got time now?”

You checked your own watch. “Yeah, I got t-”

“Actually,” Ashton interrupted. “Y/N, I was wondering if we could talk real quick first. About the kid.”

“Oh! Yeah. We should probably do that. Cal, I’m off after rounds, if you’re free then.”

“Sounds good,” he nodded as he went back to his coffee while you and Ashton rose from the table, bidding the other three goodbye.

“So, his chart’s all up to date. I have one of my fourth years monitoring the situation, but I’m not expecting any complications to arise. Should be good to discharge probably later today or early tomorrow at the latest,” you brought him up to speed as you walked.

“Yeah, that’s great,” Ashton rushed, eyes darting around as he pushed open an on-call room and locked the door behind the two of you. “How long we got til rounds?”

“A little under a half hour, why?”

Ashton smirked as his hands landed hot on your waist, his lips finding yours. “Wanna boss me around some more?” he murmured against your lips, before he was trailing kisses down the column of your neck, before sucking into the sweet spot just before your collarbone, his hands jerking you to be flush against him. “Or, do you want my sincerest apology for being Dr. Arrogant, and forgetting to page you earlier?”

“Mmmm,” you moaned softly, tilting your head back, eyes shutting. “Little bit of both?”

“Yes ma’am,” he winked before scrubs went flying and your back hit the mattress.

__

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996​ @creator-appreciator​ @philthepegacorn​ @myfavfanficsever​ @cxddlyash​ @youngblood199456​ @stormrider505​ @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof​ @hoodhoran​ @metalandboybands​ @maybeememez​ @major5sosstan​ @kaitieskidmore1​ 

[divinefireangel]

The Way You Love

SF9 Youngbin x F! Reader Imagine.

He's so precious I WANNA PROTEC

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: Got the idea at literally 3am. And I cried a lil while writing this. I do recommend reading this when you have a bad day. Because I have to say it is cute.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: All ages and written with she/her pronouns but everyone can read it. (nothing specified with respect to anatomy, appearance, etc of reader). Nothing really. Just pure fluff. Slowburn and crappy ending because I went blank 😂💀

Summary/Pre-Requisite: Youngbin and Y/N are in a well established relationship. But it isn't enough.

1.6k words

Youngbin smiled at the small box in his hand. He can't believe he is actually going to do this. How can something as little as this be the source of so much joy, he didn't know. Maybe it was her. Or the fact that it was for her, from him. An eternal promise to love her till his last day, last hour, last minute and final breath. Well there is still much time to worry about that now though.

Loving Y/N is definitely the best decision he took without having to take it. Loving her, was as easy as breathing the fresh morning air. Listening to her talk was his favourite sound in the entire universe. Watching her dance goofily is his ideal view, other than when she's paying attention to something. Her face looks so cute when she's concentrating, he almost feels like he can cry over her adorableness.

Watching her from across the room, her movements, the way she smiles and makes everyone around her laugh with her silly jokes only adds to one of the many reasons why he loves her. She is the brightest light in his life, illuminating his existence with unfiltered joy and eternal love and affection.

He loves it when she snuggles up to him, wrapping her small arms around his torso and asks him what he's doing with her honey sweet voice, never fails to make his heart melt and burst with adoration. He loves it when she sleepily moves closer to him, like a pair of magnets, because she feels cold and knows that she can always rely on him to keep her warm.

He loves it when she bonds with his members and treat them and scold them like they are her children. Although he loves it more when she becomes a source of reassurance not only to him but also to his little brothers. He loves it when she helps them with anything, no matter how small the help may be. Since he is treated like the Dad of the group, Y/N automatically became the Mom and he couldn't wish for someone more perfect then her for that role.

He loves her understanding nature, her positive spirit, her overly motivating presence, her genuine compliments and concern. He loves the way she looks at him, like he's the only man in a room full of people. Her eyes reflecting the same twinkles of his eyes, with just as much love when he looks at her.

He loves when she slightly shuts her eyes when he moves her hair out of her face. He loves it when her small frame hugs him so tight he can barely stand still. He loves it when she plays with his hair when he takes a nap on her chest. He loves how her hand fits into his perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle.

If there was one thing he could do again, it would be to go back in time and fall in love with her all over again for the first time. Everyday, she gives him something new to love about her. Whether it be her shy smile, her blushy flustered face or the way she gets excited when she sees something cute, the way she coos his puppy to sleep, the way she always makes him feel better on a bad day and so many more things that may seem insignificant to her, but are never to him, makes him fall for her harder and deeper in love than he ever thought possible.

"Hyung! HYUNG!!! "

Snapping back to reality, Youngbin sees a wide eyes Chani looking at him with a questioning expression.

"What? "

"Were you daydreaming about Noona again? Why are you so distracted today? "

"It's nothing Chani-ya. She just makes me happy. That's all. Did you tell the camera crew that I need them this evening? "

"Yes I did Hyung. That's what I was telling you as you were zoned out. I don't even want to imagine what it's going to be like when you get married. We probably won't get anything done at all since you will be distracted all the time. " Chani said in a factual manner.

"Okay that's a bit excessive. And you haven't found someone whom you love as much right now. You will understand better when you do. Till then I can't really explain this." The older said smiling lighty as she took over his thoughts again. Rolling his eyes, Chani patted his leader and left wordlessly.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"This is nice. The air isn't as humid as I thought it would be. " Y/N said as she walked next to her lover, fingers intertwined, arms swaying back and forth as they moved forward. Stopping still he twirled her around till she faced the railing covering the boundary of the lake. Giggling she wrapped his arms around her so he could hug her, keep her warm, even though she wasn't as cold yet.

Resting his chin on her head, he sighed heavily, feeling content with his beloved in his embrace. Oh how he could stay like this forever and never leave. Hmm. She's right. The air is just perfect. Like her. And it is definitely the perfect weather, to take the next step most relationships do.

Looking up at the sky, the stars shine bright, twinkling and shimmering beautifully. Taking this as a positive sign from the universe, Youngbin hugged Y/N tighter, knowing that it's now or,well later but now is nice. Turning her head to her lover, Y/N stands on her tippy toes to kiss him.

Breathing out the two lovebirds stared up at the star filled night sky. The soft wind getting stronger with time, but not too strong to have any effect yet. Just a light breeze that can be felt. Like the love that's surrounding them, keeping them warm from the exterior and from within.

"Oh! Did you see that! That star is shining the brightest." Youngbin said pointing at a distant star.

" Which one? " Y/N stepped forward by one step, trying to see the star he pointed out.

" That one? " She asked again, this time she was the one pointing.

" No. The one standing in front of me right now. "

Drawing her hand back to her body, her heart thumping strongly in her chest. Now, what had happened when they hugged is that Y/N had felt a small poke on the side of her thigh, where Youngbin's jacket was over on her. So being the smart young lady she is, Y/N knew. She knew what was happening. And it wasn't just feeling the poke, she's been feeling like this for some days now. And she knows that he has too.

Slowly turning around, Y/N was faced with her lover, who was down on one knee, holding a small box with the cutest ring she had ever seen. To say that Y/N.exe had stopped working was an understatement. She stood there, as though she was frozen. Looking up at her, Youngbin breathed heavily and started.

" When I met you for the first time, I never thought that you will love someone like me. So I was happy to settle being just your friend. But we both started liking each other at the same time. I asked you out and you agreed to date me. I never thought that you would actually date me for a long time because I've, well I was thinking that you deserve better. But you told me and made me belive different. And I am really really grateful that you did. And as time progressed, we both grew to love each other so much. You know all of this already, but saying this out loud, makes me sure that I want more. You, have helped me grow into a better person, over the time that we have dated. You, motivate me and drive me to do better, because even if no one did, you knew my limit and my capabilities. You, make me the happiest I've ever been. So will you please make me a little bit more happier by becoming my fiancee and the happiest, in the near future, when you become my wife? Will you marry me? "

Y/N stares at him, while breathing through her mouth. The only sound that's heard is the soft wind.

" Yes. "

Y/N gets down on her knees, in front of her lover, sweet tears of shock and joy streaming down her face.

" Yes. I will marry you Kim Youngbin. "

" Hyung!!! Congratulations!!!!!! "

Breaking his face into a grin, Youngbin removes the lovely and intricately detailed ring and puts it on Y/N's finger delicately. Kissing her left knuckle, Youngbin realises he is crying as well. Sobbing out loud Y/N throws her arms around him, making him tumble backwards a little. Laughing a little, Youngbin slowly wraps his arms around her, caressing the back of her head as he looked up at the sky, trying to stop the tears from falling down his cheek.

Hugging each other tight for what seemed like forever, they move away from each other's embrace upon hearing clapping sounds and cheers from the young men and their team who have now approached them.

Standing up Y/N couldn't help but hide her face in her lover's chest. Kissing her forehead, Youngbin thanked everyone.

" Let's all celebrate! Dinner is on us. " Youngbin stated looking you. Smiling you nodded you head in agreement as everyone around you cheered and wiped their tears away.

It all felt like a dream. But it wasn't. It was reality. A reality that she was so thankful to have. Smiling till their cheeks hurt, Youngbin and Y/N not couldn't wait till they were married and called as Husband and Wife.

[snarkwrites]

ssw | pietro maximoff; you make my heart beat faster. [ suggestive ]

Notes:

Okay, so.. This is kind of a follow up to the one shot I wrote a few months ago, happy birthday. So this picks up the next day. Idk where this idea came from or if it even makes sense when read immediately after that one, but ah well. My brain kept nagging at me to write the thing so I wrote the thing.

[ happy birthday ] for those who haven't read it already.

The translation: ty chuvstvuyesh', chto delayesh' so mnoy, kotenok = "do you feel what you're doing to me, kitten?" loosely via Google translate.

Prompts:

taken from either [ HERE ] or [ HERE ] give or take. It could be one or the other or a mix of both at my own choosing.

the daydream of him inside you // seeing the bulge in his pants // you make my heart beat faster. - those were all the prompts / inspiration used to write this.

Fandom / Character:

MCU / Pietro Maximoff x Barton!OFC, Nicola.

Other Writing Nicola / Pietro can be found in:

[ happy birthday ] + several other oooold posts way back on the blog I think. I wanna write a fic for them one day. We shall see, though.

Warnings:

[ NSFW. Absolutely no minors.] If you're underage, this was not written for you -nor should you be reading it. If you choose to keep reading, this is strictly a you problem. I can't do anything about it. I warned you.

Things you need to be warned about before reading: implied sexual encounter.

Yes. I realize that I don't go full into writing out the scene. But there's enough here that anyone underage has zero business reading it. So, I'm warning you guys now.

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@kyleoreillysknee

@micolegg

@mrsstevenbuchananstark

Other Stuff:

[ ABOUT MY WRITING | TAG LIST DOC - IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED, THAT IS. ]

“Are you feeling okay? You’ve barely touched your food, Nicola.”

My mom’s concerned question cut through my thoughts and I made myself smile, nodding. Taking a bite as I replied through a mouthful, “I’m fine. Was just thinking. That’s all.”

“About?” my mom eyed me expectantly. Hints of an amused smile played at her lips. I hesitated for a moment. If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost swear that somehow she knew something was up.

,, would it be a stretch to think so? One, she is my mom and two, I’ve been acting skittish and just plain out of it all damn day...” the thought came and as quickly as it did, I shoved it down in the depths of my brain.

I shrugged. “ Nothing in particular.” I gave the vaguest answer I could come up with. If she had one tenth of a clue what I’d really been thinking about just now, I’m honestly not sure how she’d react to it.

I’d been replaying last night over and over again in my mind all day. Every single part of me was dying to ask Pietro if it meant anything or not but at the same time, every single part of me was also scared to death to do that very thing. The one or two times we’d been alone with each other today and I did try, the words got stuck in my throat. And he wasn’t behaving any differently than he normally did, so I kind of just… Let it go. Started to convince myself that making the two of us love the night before was just a one time thing. As my best friend Simone would put it, “Sometimes, you just need to scratch that itch.”

The whole problem with her theory is that even now, having scratched this particular itch.. I wanted to do it again. And again.

I wanted so much more than that too. The brief glimpse I’d gotten of Pietro beneath the sarcasm and the flirty swagger the night before completely did me in. I’d gone from trying hard to keep him at arms length to falling head over feet in love with him and knowing this drove me crazy.

I felt someone staring at me.

I looked up just as Pietro was looking down. Pouting to myself a little, I reached out to grab the spoon in the bowl of mashed potatoes to scoop another serving onto my plate. Pietro reached for the spoon at the same time and when our hands brushed, I felt this little jolt.

He moved his hand but not until he’d let it linger against mine for a second or two. His gaze not leaving mine for the entirety of it. Under the table, my thighs clenched tight. I could see his hands all over me again in my head. Feel his cock buried deep inside me.

I went from a little wet to full on soaked between the mental imagery and the brush of his hand against mine. My stomach coiled.

My body tensed a little.

I dropped my gaze first, busying myself with putting more potatoes on my plate. Pietro kept watching me.

My parents were talking at the head of the table as my mom fed Nathaniel some smushed peas and carrots... My little sister scarfed down her food and then shot out of her chair and out the backdoor to go play a game of tag with my brother in the backyard before it got to dark to play and they had to come inside.

I dared to glance up from shoveling food into my mouth and Pietro gave a teasing wink. Biting his lip as he openly fucked me with his eyes.

And there it went.. The lazy flip flop of my stomach. And no matter what I tried, I couldn’t tear my eyes out of the ocean blue depths of his.

I couldn’t take any more of the torture that was being around him and not having the courage to ask what I was dying to know so I stood and grabbed my plate as soon as I finished eating, making my way into the kitchen to put it in the sink.

I went ahead and washed it while I stood there. I was just drying the plate and about to put it away in the cabinet overhead when I felt Pietro’s muscular body press against me from behind. Wordlessly, he took the plate from my hand and sat it on the top of the stack inside. I turned to face him.

This put us body to body.

I swallowed hard. My mouth opened and closed and for about five or six seconds, I willed myself to say something. Do something.

But I couldn’t bring myself to. Because as much as I was dying to know whether last night was a one time thing or if there was really something between us… Parts of me were scared to death that if I asked, I wouldn’t like the answer.

And that kept me quiet.

Pietro’s hand raised. Reaching out. Brushing strands of hair out of my eyes. I barely restrained a whimper at the touch. His eyes flashed a brighter blue and his head tilted slightly as he stared down at me.

Lost in thought.

His hips pressed into mine harder. When I felt the bulge in his jeans, I took a few shaky breaths. His hand rested on my hip, squeezing. Digging the tips of his fingers into it. He leaned down slightly and his mouth grazed the shell of my ear as he asked, “ty chuvstvuyesh', chto ty delayesh' so mnoy, kotenok?” in a breathless whisper.

If I thought I was wet before, hearing him speak to me in his native tongue had me soaked. Absolutely flooded. The only word I could pick out of whatever he’d asked was kitten. And as usual, when he called me kitten, my heart fluttered just a little more in my chest. He rocked himself into me clumsily and I sucked in a breath.

“Pietro.” I muttered. I was right on the verge of asking him what he’d just said. And asking him about what the night before truly was, if he felt anything or if it just kinda… happened. But just as I thought I’d finally be able to get the words out, it’s like my brain froze up all over again. I frowned at myself in frustration and sighed, shaking my head. “Nothing. It’s silly.”

I heard my dad calling my name from the next room, so I stepped away from Pietro reluctantly and went to leave the kitchen. Pietro grabbed hold of my hips, holding me in place for a few seconds. Staring down at me.

“ I need to talk to you later, kotenok. Alone.”

All I could do was nod. Tell him that I was going to go up to my room in a few minutes.

He nodded.

I stepped away and walked into the next room, only barely managing to pull myself together enough to talk to my parents without either one of them seeming to be aware of just how flustered I truly was.

As soon as I got done talking to my dad, I made my way upstairs. Shutting the door to my room and leaning against it just to hopefully pull myself together.

I still couldn’t.

I flopped across my bed, picking up the Anatomy book and my notebook, preparing to start studying again for the final I had coming up soon and just as I settled into it, there were two knocks at my bedroom door.

I slipped off the bed, wandering over to the door. Opening it.

Pietro leaned in the doorway, gazing down at me. That hungry look in his eyes again.

I stepped out of the doorway and let him into my room, shutting the door behind me. When I turned around to face him, we were body to body. Leaning into me, he put a hand against the door, just above my head. I could feel him straining even harder against his jeans. His other hand raised, resting against the side of my face. Cradling my cheek as he closed the distance between our mouths.

I started out with my palm down. Determined to keep distance between us until I finally worked up the courage to ask my question, hear my dreaded answer and be done, but by the time his tongue slipped past my lips and started to trace my teeth, I was clutching at the front of his fitted black shirt instead. He nipped at my bottom lip, tugging until I felt it swelling under pressure. The kiss deepened until I got so lightheaded I thought I’d melt.

He seemed to sense this because he crushed me against him and the hand cupping my face drifted down. Skimming down my side. Stopping at my hip.

The kiss finally broke so we could breathe and we pulled apart; breathless. Staring at each other quietly. Wide-eyed.

“Kotenok…” he muttered softly. Fondly. His voice dying away as he stared down at me like he was lost in thought. Trying to say something.

“What’s up?” I mumbled, my stomach flipping and flopping lazily.

“Last night was..” he went quiet on me again and I tensed a little, bracing myself for him to continue. Preparing myself in the event that what he was about to say wasn’t what I longed to hear.

So it shocked me when he was closing the distance between our mouths all over again as he muttered in a lust-filled whisper, “Last night was more than just sex. You make me feel things that I haven’t before, kotenok.”

My breath caught in my throat and I didn’t realize it until I finally took a breath and it was shaky. I gazed up at him, letting his words sink in. Trying to wrap my head around it. I went to say something, to tell him that I felt the same way and I didn’t do what we’d done last night often, but he pressed the side of his finger against my lips, silencing me and continued to speak.

“You make my heart beat faster.” he took hold of the hand I had rested against his chest, placing it over his heart. I gasped quietly as I looked up at him again and saw the way he was looking back down at me, a look of pure and total adoration.

He looked nervous as hell. Fidgeting a little. Not quite sure what to do with his hands after he moved one off my hip and let go of my hand with the other. He went to step away, swearing under his breath and I realized that he wanted me to react somehow.

I pressed against him from behind. My hand wrapping around his where it lingered on the knob to my bedroom door. “Don’t go. Please?” I asked in a hushed whisper. Pietro turned around and when he did, I melted against him. Raising my arms to wrap them around his neck. Dragging my fingers through a thick mess of platinum blond. Tugging at it as I rose to tiptoe and crashed my mouth against his. Laughing softly when our noses bumped and our lips connected all over again; hungry. Desperate. Frenzied.

He reached down, twisting the lock on my door knob so that it was locked and no one could come in by accident. A low growl rose up from the depths of his chest, hanging in the air between us only to be swallowed by the kiss as our mouths reconnected and it deepened. I rubbed myself against him clumsily. Needy.

His hands locked across my ass and he slipped me up his body, stepping over to my bed. Dropping me against my mattress softly and positioning himself on top of me. Pressing his hips into mine. Bucking against me as his mouth strayed from my own, working it’s way down the side of my neck. His lips caught on my pulse, making me shiver and rock myself up into him as I gave a needy whine and raised my legs, squeezing his hips with my knees. The kiss broke and he muttered against my mouth with a teasing grin, “ Think you can be quiet for me, kotenok?”

“ I can try.” I whimpered as his mouth worked down the front of my throat, teeth scraping against skin. Stubble tickling me. Making me cling to him as he snapped his hips against me and his hands moved down between us, catching in the hem of my shirt. He pulled me up to a sitting position and pulled my shirt off, tossing it onto my bedroom floor. I tugged at his shirt, whining impatiently and he chuckled. Nipping softly at my bottom lip as he teased, “Patience.”

“Pietro.” I pleaded.

He tugged his shirt over his head, letting it settle on the floor near mine. And then he was leaning in. His hands moving up my sides. Stopping to squeeze my breasts, growling to himself quietly before reaching around. Hooking a thick digit beneath the band of my bra and working the clasps free. He pulled it off, balling it up and tossing it on the floor with the rest of our clothes as he leaned into me even more, my back pressed flat against my bed all over again. He positioned himself on top of me, his body spreading my legs wide and as his head dipped down, my fingers curled in my blanket and thick blond hair.

His mouth worked across my collarbones. Then lower. He squeezed my tits together, mouth diving down. Latching onto one of my nipples. Tongue circling lazily until he’d teased it to a point and I was squirming beneath him, rocking my hips, desperate for any kind of friction I could get. My fingers caught in the waistband of his jeans and I worked the button and the zipper free. He pulled away and slipped off the bed to shed his jeans and underwear and eyed me hungrily. Leaning down. Meeting my gaze with a mischief filled smirk as he took off my pants. Holding my gaze the entire time.

I kicked my pants free at the ankle and he was on top of me again. The tip of his thick cock brushing right against my fabric covered crotch as he bucked into me and muttered against my mouth, “Are you ready for me, kotenok?”

“Please?” I begged breathlessly, barely managing to keep my voice a whisper as I did so. When he smirked at me as if he were pleased with himself, I realized exactly what his goal was.

He wanted to see just how close he could get me to getting loud.

I pouted up at him and he chuckled. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re being a tease. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“Oh?” he muttered, his hand disappearing between us. Slipping into my panties. Fingers working me open. Burying deep in my throbbing, wet sex. I arched my back and gasped, my fingers tangling in his hair, tugging at it as I rocked against his hand.

It wasn’t enough. I wanted him buried to the hilt inside of me. Now.

But Pietro was in a teasing mood tonight. Something told me that the more I begged, the more he was going to prolong it. And if I didn’t beg? He’d prolong it.

I was absolutely fucked.

One way or another, he was going to have me screaming his name by the end of the night.

[gloriafc]

Baby

Slight greys anatomy mention

You're Eddie's daughter. You were the product of a teen pregnancy, the reason your parents got married. They had Christopher as an attempt to save their marriage and it worked for a little bit. When your mom left you were also graduating high school and ready to go off to college.

"Dad I don't have to go. I can take a year off. You need help with Christopher." "I can handle it mija. You go and become a doctor like you want. Make us proud okay?" And you do just that, the year you graduate med school is the same year he joins the 118. You take a trip to visit them and help them move before your internship starts, Christopher of course is very happy to see you without a screen separating you two and your dad is happy to see how much you've grown.

You start your internship in Seattle, becoming a surgeon at Seattle Grace.

When the fire station finds out about Christopher, no one finds out about you, your dad not knowing how to bring up that he has an adult daughter.

When the incident with the bomb in the or happens, your dad is worried about you resulting in him finally telling the firehouse about you. "Why didn't you ever say anything?" "I don't know. I don't put pictures up, there was never any reason. But now." "Now she's been injured."

They don't get the chance to meet you until the mass shooting, you've been shot twice in your side protecting others. Your dad is your emergency contact and gets the call while he's at work. He freezes as he listens to the doctor talk, "She's alive though right?" Everyone can hear the worry in his voice an immediately question him when he gets off the phone. Bobby immediately gives him time off as he and Christopher head to Seattle to visit you.

It kills Eddie to see you injured, you're his baby girl after all, but you hide your pain well around Christopher. After you get discharged you decide to head back to LA during your time off to heal and to be with your family. So you finally get to meet everyone. Of course Buck quickly becomes the protective uncle you never had, and you're happy to see that your dad has a friend like him.

Halfway through your visit is when your mom comes back, and you don't really know how to feel. You've always bumped heads with her, but it got worse when she'd fight with your dad, even worse when she decided to leave and never made it to any of your graduations. And now you're an adult who watched you're dad build up everything she tore down. She didn't know that you were staying with your dad and tried to hide her reaction when she saw you sitting on the couch with Christopher playing a game of cards.

You tried to keep things civil but you can only do so much on your part. You kept your responses short or hardly spoke unless spoken too, until one night you both finally snapped. There was nothing Eddie could do, he loved you both, but he knew this was something you both needed to work out. "Admit it mom. If you knew I was here you never would've come back, not yet at least." "Y/N-" "No! I bet you don't even know the reason why I'm here. Fuck you couldn't even show up to my graduations. You say you left for yourself but what about your kids? You said dad never made time because of work, but he did. He was there. Me and Christopher forgave him for the things he missed because he made up for it. And you were too busy being pissed that once you got the chance you dipped. You probably don't even know that I went to medical school. That I put in so much effort I graduated early. That I'm a surgeon and one of the ones at the top of my class. And you can't even be proud because I'm a mistake." No one knows how to respond so you continue, "Admit it. You never would've married dad if I wasn't born, if I wasn't a mistake."

You leave the house and as much as Eddie wants to go after you he knows you better than that, better than your mom. He stands in the kitchen doorway as your mom sits at the table with her head in her hands, "She's always been difficult." He can only look at her, "No she hasn't. She's hurt and she has every right to be. She's right she was a mistake, but I wouldn't have it any other way. But what about you? She's here because she was shot twice in a mass shooting protecting others from the shooter, but you didn't know that. You didn't know your daughters a hero. You probably didn't know that she was injured by a bomb either. But I did because I was the first person she called, because I am her father. I made up everything I missed for them because of how much I love them, they both understand that I made a sacrifice to keep us financially stable. They learned love comes with sacrifices from me. You had your reasons to leave and I know that but she's right, you had no reason to leave your kids behind, you could've sent them post cards or something. I had the decency to write letters while I was on yours. I'm so proud of her, of the things she's done. She tried to take a year off of school to help me with Christopher because I had no idea what I was doing, but I figured it out. She lives in Seattle but she still finds time to call and text so Christopher doesn't think he's the reason shes gone. She's sacrificed just as much as everyone else, so if you still think she's a mistake, then what did you think our marriage was? Why did you come back thinking she wouldn't be apart of things like she's not your daughter as well?"

Athena's the one to see you walking the street at night, recognizing you from one of the pictures Christopher showed her. "You're Eddie's daughter right?" "Uh yeah, Y/N." She sits with you, "Athena, Bobby's wife. Why are you out here so late?" You don't know why but you vent to her, "My uh. My mom came back. And we got into a fight." You explain everything to her and she offers her couch to sleep on seeing that you don't want to go home just yet.

In the morning Bobby is the one to drop you off, your dad opening the door when he hears the car in his driveway. You walk passed everyone not wanting to say anything, but your dad follows you to Christopher's room where all your stuff is. "Where'd you go?" "I met Athena she let me sleep on her couch. I already ate, Bobby made breakfast." "Mija-" "Dad I just want to take a shower. I'll probably catch a bus and head somewhere. I'll be back before dinner." He can only sigh as he looks at the floor as you rummage through your bags, "She might be staying." "That's your marriage dad, not mine. You work out what you need to work out. I'm going back to work in a couple days anyways. I'll have to deal with a therapist there. Everything will be fine." He moves and pulls you into his arms sighing as you wrap your arms around his waist and press your face into his chest like you did when you were little, "When did you grow up?" "When I got boobs." You both laugh before he kisses your head and tells you he's heading to work leaving you in a quiet house with your mom in the kitchen.

You quickly shower and head out before your mom can even say anything to you, getting back just as your dad arrives. You end up leaving a note for your dad and leaving in the middle of the night with all your stuff, catching a cab to the airport and catching a early flight back to Seattle. Of course Eddie is upset but he understands that you and your mom will just continue to bump heads and if you think it's what's best for yourself, who is he to argue, you're an adult.

Of course you text and video call all the time, sometimes catching him when he's at the fire station and he's just happy to see you're happy and healthy.

When the plane crash happens he finds it weird that he hasn't talked to you in a few days but brushes things off thinking you're just busy. The day you call, he's at the firehouse with Christopher for a family dinner, he happily answers the phone. "Hey baby! We're having dinner, do you want to talk to Christopher?" His smile quickly faulters when he hears your shaky voice, "Daddy." He quickly walks off after checking that your brother was with Buck, "What happened?" "There. There was an accident. We had a case. We. We had to fly to Idaho. The uh. The plane. The engines were faulty and the plane crashed. My. My right side was, uh. They have to do surgery to repair my right side from my ribs to my knee."

Eddie can feel tears threaten to fall just listening to how scared you are but you continue talking, "They did enough to fix everything but they're sending me to LA for the rest of the cosmetic surgeries and physical therapy while they work out everything with HR. I'm already at the airport with some medical staff, were getting on the plane." Your dad runs a hand down his face as he tries to stay calm, "Uh okay. Call me when you get here. I'll meet you at the airport in a few hours."

Your mom is the one to find your dad outside, "What's going on? Christopher's waiting for you to play the game with him and Buck." "I'm uh I'm going to the airport. Tell him to start the game and I'll play tomorrow." "What happened?" "Y/N was in a plane crash they're flying her here." "I'll go with you." "No. Just stay with Christopher. We don't. We don't need a recap of what happened last time. Not while she's like this. And I need to be alone. Before I see her, with her injuries."

Your dad waits for hours at the airport, the staff tell him where the airplane will land and offer to take him out when the plane lands so he can stay with you. You're out cold when he gets to you, "She started freaking out before the plane took off, which was understandable we sedated her to keep her under for the plane ride, she should be waking up soon."

Your dad sits by your side as you sleep. He counts and recounts all the IVs connected to you, quickly standing when he hears Christopher, "Dad what happened to Y/N?" He looks at your mom and the rest of the firehouse behind them, "What are you guys doing here?" Buck answers, "You left without saying bye. We figured you needed some support, that she needed some support after we heard what happened. She's family too." While everyone is distracted Christopher makes his way to the spot your dad was sitting in and grabs your hand. You're laying on your left side due to your injuries and Christopher can only wonder what happened to you. After a few minutes you open your eyes squeezing the small boys hand in yours, "You're awake Y/N/N." "Hi Christopher."

At the sound of your voice your dad is immediately at your side, "How are you feeling?" Your sarcastic side comes out, letting your dad know you're okay for now, "Like I fell out of a plane."

Of course everyone quickly learns how bad doctors are as patients, "The stitches are wrong." "They should've done this, it's faster." Buck easily jokes with you, "The doctors are probably ready to discharge you and your whining already." "They wouldn't be if they knew how to do their jobs right."

After you get discharged your dad takes you home. Everyone can see you're out of it, so someone is always with you, even your mom, but the conversations stay short but trying for your dad and brother. One day Athena offers to take you out to lunch. "How've you been feeling?" "I don't know." "Your dad's worried about you. Everyone is. You're putting on a brave face." You blink away tears, something that doesn't go unnoticed by Athena, "What's wrong?" You look around thankful you got a corner table and it was a slow day for the restaurant. You take a deep breath before looking at Athena, "I haven't told my dad yet, but a few days before the accident I found out I was pregnant. I'm not anymore... Obviously."

Athena sits with you, talking about the news that is no longer news for anyone, "Are you going to tell your dad?" "I don't know. I think. I think I'm still trying to process everything. The baby. A miscarriage. The crash. The fact that I was only a few seats away from getting crushed to death." Athena nods, "Do you know what's happening with everyone else that was on the plane?" "Uh yeah. The hospital is taking fault for using that airline service with known cases of faulty engines, were basically sueing the hospital for damages up to 15 million each. It'd shut down the hospital, but we all plan on purchasing it." "So you're going to own a hospital." "Part of it along with the others that were on the plane. So I'm not actually pocketing anything right now, but over time."

After a few more days you tell your dad about the miscarriage as you both sit on the porch, "Did you tell the dad?" "No. Uh we were never in a relationship. At least I don't think we were. It only happened once and we were both pretty drunk."

After another month you go back to work to finish off your residency. You apply for fellowships, but know which one you're going to accept. You never tell your dad, opting on surprising him randomly. You show up at the firehouse, your dad running over as soon as Hen points you out, "What are you doing here?" You smile, "I decided which fellowship I'm taking." It takes a second for it to click in his head, "The one here?" You don't get the chance to respond before your dad's picking you up in a bear hug. "Wait until Christopher finds out."

You jump into working, even though you live in your own house now your dad and brother are both excited to have you close again. After a few years, and after your mom's death, things fall into a normalcy. You get invited to any family dinners Bobby and Athena throw and you always find time to spend with your dad and brother.

You manage to become chief of trauma, you still have your board seat in Seattle and occasionally fly out sometimes taking Christopher and your dad for a getaway.

The first time anyone in the firehouse actually sees you in your natural habitat is when they have to bring in a druggie with a gsw. Athena is also there since the patient is the one who had the gun. Buck was grazed by a bullet so the firehouse was still in the ER while he got patched up, as Athena asks you about the patient. "I wouldn't try questioning him yet. He's still whining like a baby." "Can't you give him something for that?" "If I give him morphine I'd have to pump his stomach. And considering he knows the exact name of the morphine I'd have to use. I'm deciding against that. It's one bullet that was at the surface and has been removed. He can suck it up, I'm not gonna be the one to aide in his addiction."

All the beds are in the open with curtains as dividers so everyone can hear the man complaining and pulling against his restraints. The firehouse can hear everything go down when you declare he's ready to leave. "You gotta give me something for the pain." You simply look at him before shaking your head, "I really don't." "You bitch." You push the man back down on the bed making him since since his wound is on his shoulder, "You're the bitch in this situation. The pain you're feeling is from withdrawal from all the drugs in your system you idiot. You want something for the pain fine but that comes with your stomach getting pumped. Do you really want that considering you're over here bitching about a small bullet wound?" The man looks at you before seething, "You don't know the pain I'm in!" "Try me. Your bullet was at the surface and has been removed, the area was numbed with cream so you didn't even feel it. I've been shot twice in a mass shooting both bullets imbedded in muscle. I survived a bomb incident, a plane crash, and a miscarriage while stranded during that plane crash. So tell me I've never felt worse." When the man doesn't say anything you look at Athena, "Get him out of here."

Your dad looks at the spot you were standing, he's never heard the things you've been through ever leave your mouth like that. Bobby sets his hand on his shoulder, "She's tough Eddie. She's fine."

When a natural disaster occurs the hospital sends out surgeons to aid first responders for the people who wouldn't make it to the hospital otherwise, you're one of the few that get sent out due to your trauma certification being more than qualified. The firehouse is lightweight surprised to see you in the field working the tent. "You got sent out?" "You do realize I worked in a trauma one center right? My first year we had a ferry crash." Everyone is amazed with how fast and calmly you work, half of the patients you get wouldn't of survived even getting on an ambulance otherwise.

There is one patient who's stuck under a piece of cement inside a building but is in critical condition. Unfortunately you're the only one small enough to fit through the gap to get to him. "No! She's not going in there!" You can only look at your dad, "We have no choice. We can save him." Reluctantly your dad lets you go knowing you'd go anyways and he doesn't technically have a say in what you can and can't do. They give you your dad's jacket and helmet as a precaution before you slowly slip through the hole. You yell out when you reach the patient allowing the firehouse to continue trying to get the guy out.

You manage to move the patient under a stable piece of metal before suddenly yelling out making everyone stop, "What's going on?" "It's starting to collapse!" Before anyone can respond the building shifts closing the hole they were making. You dad starts freaking out, "We have to get her out of there!" "And we will. Eddie calm down or sit out."

When they finally get to where you and the patient are they can see the patient is stabilized and sort of groggy but they find your body a few feet away. Due to you having your dad's protective gear he wasn't allowed to enter the building but Buck is at your side checking on you, "I got a pulse! She has a leg stuck under some concrete. She probably knocked out after she got stuck." Bobby nods, "Let's get them out of here!"

Your dad watches as Chimney and Hen bring out the man, "Where's Y/N?" Chimney sets the man up on a gurney as Hen talks to your dad, "She moved the man out of the way. She has a pulse but her leg was caught under some concrete." Just as she finishes Buck and Bobby leave the building with you in Bucks arms. Eddie is instantly taking you into his arms as he slowly sets you down on the ground, "Baby wake up." You let out a groan before slowly opening your eyes, "Why are you so loud?" Everyone chuckles, even your dad, at your ability to bounce back so fast even with a broken leg.

Everyone helps you out while your leg heals, Christopher decided to spend the night with you one night and before your dad left he sat with you on the porch. He looks at the cast that everyone has signed and Christopher has drawn multiple pictures on before throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest, "When did you grow up?" "The day you told me go to college to make you proud. Did I?" "You did... You're still not dating until you're 45." You can't help but laugh and shake your head as you both watch the street lights come on and the stars come out. "Aren't you the one that had a kid at 16? The irony." "You're my baby I can be as ironic as I want."