#my mom now is a

[clearlyacollectortragedy]

Hey, how’s everyone doing? So here I am again, like a year later since my last post, because I just need to vent before I lose my mind.

So, the thing is, I was watching 9-1-1 again for like the millionth time, and just so happens that my mom walked by and got curious about what I was watching, so naturally, like the very noisy mom that I have, she decided to sit down and join me. And of course, the episode I was watching just so happened to be the lawsuit one where Eddie and Buck are fighting (iykyk), I don’t remember the exact episode number, but you get the idea.

Anyway, my beautiful yet very old fashioned mother looks directly into my soul with this very serious expression and goes, 'Are you watching a gay show?' Now, my mom isn't homophobic but feels a bit uncomfortable about queernes and all of that, she's kinda having a hard time accepting people but she's not against it, although she's trying her best. So, you can imagine I was shitting my pants a little bit with that one when she came out with that. I was like, 'Uh, yes… but also no?' Then I asked why she thought that, and with a very 'Are you shitting me' look she says, and I quote, 'They’re married, like, they’re literally fighting over custody, right? Talking about lawyers and all that. I did this with your dad so you can't tell me they’re not... Homosexual or whatever you call it these days.'

So yeah... All I did was laugh like a maniac and managed to explain her the situation (sort of) and even showed her bits from other episodes to give her the full picture of Buck and Eddie’s dynamic. And I kid you not, just when I was showing her The kitchen scene™ my sister walked in and got somehow involved, a minute into the conversation she tells me 'Michelle what the fuck are you talking about, those two have to be fucking, look how the guy with the beer is looking at that other dude, is like that meme with the cat and the cookie.' Like I'm not the one who is obsessed with the show, anyways my mom later agreed and in disbelief told me that they've had to fucked at least once. At this point, I was on the floor, either crying from laughter or pure shock because here’s my 'I'm very uncomfortable about gays' mother telling me that the way those two looked at each other was with, and I qoute again: 'Very sex deprived eyes.'

So, to wrap this stupid and totally unnecessary post I’ve come to two conclusions:

1.- My mom may no longer be in the "I'm not homophobic I just don't really like when two boys or girls kiss each other" category because, after all that, she literally started rooting for those two to not only kiss but fuck each other. So... Thanks 9-1-1 I guess?

2.- And two, if MY mom is now convinced that those two Need to be together, or more like belong together in words of my sister, so can ABC. So if Buddie doesn't become canon these season I will personally go down to the ABC studios and force them to make it happen.

That’s all folks, thanks for letting me rant, because I was about to lose it. Have a lovely afternoon or night or whatever you're having. And if you’ve got someone who may be homophobic or is uncomfortable with queerness, maybe tell them about Buck and Eddie. It did worked for my mom after all.

[fairydrowning]

– Noor Unnahar, Instagram account "noor_unnahar"

[TEXT ID: / [Lemons] / My father's mother loved lemons. Years after her passing, / we run out of everything, but never / lemons. / Nothing else shelters grief / better than memory. / It's my father way of saying, / even in your absence, you will be / cared by me. / END ID]

[moniquill]

One of the socialist things I’d like to see ALONG WITH UBI (not instead of) is a government option for all basic neccesities. I am aware that the government option would -suck- and as long as it’s survivably functional, I’m fine with that. When I was a kid, we got monthly commodity food boxes. They’d be filled with food that looked like this:

And in lean months, it would be that and whatever we could get from the garden, or forage/fish, or trade with friends and neighbors. My mom had this awesome recipe for peanut butter balls that utilized the powdered milk, shit-quality peanut butter, and maple-flavored corn syrup that we routinely got in our box and actually made it good. 

I think that these things should be available for purchase at every supermarket, and that the prices should be fixed with relation to the minimum wage. All brands should have to compete with the government option - if SPAM is going to be more expensive than LUNCHEON MEAT in the silver can, then it needs to justify that cost by being better quality.

I want the same thing for housing. I want fucking Commie Blocks to be an option.

This would combat runaway inflation by putting a price cap on survival needs. It would guard against shrinkflation, because a consumers could compare the Government Standard portion to the brands. UBI ought to be such that it covers The Government Option for food, housing, clothing, transit etc. with generous wiggle room for emergency savings and little joys in life. 

Everyone should get their own UBI account in their own name at birth, along with their social security number. It should follow the individual regardless of guardianship. Parents/guardians should have incrementally less and less control over said funds as the child gets older, and should have to provide itemized receipts of how money taken from a child’s account is spent (Similar to what you have to do if you’re in control of an elder’s social security money).

https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-repayee-ussi.htm

'Each year, we will ask certain representative payees to complete a Representative Payee Accounting Report showing how they spent and saved the money they received for you during the 12-month report period.'

These are steps that would could easily institute tomorrow be reallocating funding, and they’d have a huge impact on cost of living for everyone.  

This rant brought to you by the fact that store brand canned luncheon meat in my local grocery held fast at a dollar for the better part of two decades but now costs $2.18.

[1caru]

what if venti combined his wisp and human forms

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

[hilacopter]

tbh ryoko kui cooked with this one why is this the funniest image I have ever seen

[floralete]

[johnny bravo voice] puppy dog

[ngatwa]

I know how you feel about him. I watch you, Agatha. Just as closely as you watch everyone else. This walk with another woman's son on a road that doesn't…

[garpen]

12 yrs old Jason having just been dropped off at Wayne Manor: Do you just take in every orphan you meet off the street?

Bruce: No, you're the first kid I picked up off the street. I picked up my last one at the circus.

Jason: Is that a joke? I can’t tell if that’s a joke.

Bruce: My son's name is Richard, but he insists on going by Dick.

Jason: And he’s…from the circus?

[serial-unaliver]

I think skinny people who have never been fat should shut up about who gets body shamed more permanently

[mothfulhansel]

some magma doodles from earlier

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

[t00thpasteface]

"it's very problematic to make your space aliens autistic-coded" SPEAK FOR YOURSELF 👽👽👽👽👽🛸🛸🛸 ALIEN LASER BLAST ATTACK ✨✨✨🌠🌠🌠🌠🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[pangur-and-grim]

Rusty Nail had an unfortunate encounter

[superwowvibes]

what doyou mean the boyfriends are fighting please don't fight guys

[bluerosefox]

Assassin Heir? Crime Fighting Furry? NOPE NO THANK YOU!

"Danyal, its time to end this game and return with me."

Danny should had known Clockwork had something in mind when he sent him on this mission. He knew he should had been suspicious of the time keeper when he noticed the little 'this is going to be fun' smile on his face when he sent Danny off into the portal.

"Get back here you demon spawn 2.0!"

But how was he supposed to know that he'd wake up in this world version of himself in a pit full of corrupted (AND NASTY) ectoplasim at the tender age of five or that when he swam up to the surface he'd be meeting face to face with what was apparently a cult.

"-O just spotted him a block away! I'll try to cut itty bitty bridie off!"

An Assassins Cult his, new to him, loving yet a little insane mother was in charge of (though during the few months he stayed in the compound he heard rumors and gossip from maids and others alike that if his grandfather returned from the dead he'll take over once again, no doubt punish Talia for creating another heir after the failure of the last one, most likely was going to kill Danny and that... that was can of worms Danny didn't wanna deal with yet)

"Ten bucks says they try to stab RR when we get the feral thing home"

"...Losers bet...."

Danny had lived with his mother for a while after being brought back from the 'dead' for apparently the first time, it turned out training a five year old with an actual sword and a dumbass hidden revenge seeking teacher was a terrible idea.

"I swear if this one tries to murder me like the others I'm asking Zatanna if there is a curse on me."

He dealt with her high demands of perfection, the endless training, and the constant comparisons to his apparent older brother Damain... Who didn't know Danny, or rather Danyal existed.

Nor did his father (when Danny, using his powers he's kept hidden since 'waking' up in this Realm, he sneaked his way around the base and discovered how he came into the world. And tbh he couldn't blame his mom how she made him, she was an assassin first and foremost, being naturally pregnant would had painted a target on her for to long... but he also felt it was unfair and an asshole move on his unsuspecting father as well)

"As your elder brother I demand you to stop running!"

Now don't get him wrong, he did like his new mother (total badass assassin lady and all that) and he knew she loved him in her own... deadly way. But yeah, she really shouldn't be taking care of kids. He could tell she struggled with wanting to be a normal mother but her first instinct after so many years was to be an assassin first.

Something she was trying to engrave into Danny with as well.

"Ah, hello Beloved. I see you've learned of our Danyal."

"Talia. Back away from him and leave Gotham now."

"I can not do that. The League needs an heir and since Damian refuses to return... I have decided to create a new one and I shall not be leaving until he returns with me."

"Talia."

Hence why when Danny, or rather Danyal al Ghul had gotten decent control over his powers he decided to leave the League. Again nothing wrong with the life his mom leads, to each their own, but he... really, really didnt want to be an assassin. Or an assassin heir.

So here he was, after almost a year on the run, using his powers and training to out smart and out maneuver his mother and her many band of Assassins, in Gotham. One of the last places he ever wanted to run to cause he knew his father and brother lived here.

It was just his luck that his mother had managed to intercept his train ride that passed into Gotham for a few hours and forced him to run into the city...

Add her assassins into the mix and running into Robin, who heard from Oracle his mother had been spotted chasing a young boy across the city, that same night.

After that it became a full on "catch me if you can" chase for not only his mother but for the batclan as well.

And after two whole days of chase, it seemed like the final showdown was about to begin because everyone was on top of this rooftop, his mother and her assassins on one side, his father and the batclan on the other and Danny well... he was right in the middle of all of it.

He just had to hope no one would notice him once the fighting started...