#my mom literally admitted that she fucked up in saying being double jointed was a gift when i was a kid

[theultimatepumpkinpie]

Was anyone gonna tell me that hypermobility isn't always needing to use a wheelchair/get surgery because your joints constantly dislocate and that it sometimes is just being to bend my arms weirdly except apparently that's all my joints and muscles are doing stuff like always without me knowing and now it's suddenly leaving me in terrible pain constantly for seemingly no reason???

Anyway Good news! I don't have an immune disorder. Bad news! My pain is being caused by hypermobility which is harder to treat. But we're working on that and now I don't have to worry about organ failure and whether or not it's safe to get a flu shot.

[homesception]

May 31, 2013 - part 1: wherein Lobac eats a cookie.

To be fair, it has been like two hundred years since my last update.  That’s a pretty good nap.  Just means I’m all the more rested to work on new stuff, right?  I mean, I need to keep a spritely pace up if I still plan on catching up to Lobac’s liveblog before said liveblog catches up to the comic.  Which for sure is still an actual thing at all, and not a bit of exclusive humor between friends.

Last time Lobac was getting into some theory crafting and analysis of the classpect system.  I didn’t have much to say about that at the time, particularly not much that wouldn’t qualify as spoilers, so iirc I was mostly just responding with random thoughts and video links, half of which are dead now.  There was a bit left over looking at the troll’s perster names, which was also good stuff, but lacking anything coherent to say about it, I’ll just gloss past the rest of that post, apart from:

Lobac said:

Thank you all for sticking around °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

As if you could ever get rid of me.  ~{@PQ}~

Moving on, we rejoin the comic with PM visiting the Black Queen to retrieve the mysterious GREEN PACKAGE, which had been impounded by agents of the Black Court as a result of a traffic violation.  The Black Queen cuts an imposing figure, and Lobac is, of course, duly imposed.

later, Lobac said:

Are those… tentacles ( ´ _ ｀) I thought only the imps were affected by the prototypings?

OH SHIT OH SHIT THAT LOOKS SO COOL HOT DAMN (゜▽゜) Wowow look at her joints! Look at all the carapace-y stuff going on there!

These days, Lobac’s soft spot for this particular sort of shiny, black, possibly betentacled monster-type aesthetic is well documented.  I’m pretty sure she would have loved the black queen’s design even if it wasn’t just objectively cool as hell, but that certainly doesn’t hurt.  I’m kind of sad that we never got a proper fight scene out of this particular version of her.

That’s not a spoiler is it?  I’m pretty sure that’s not a spoiler.

Yeah, the random objects the kids threw in the general directions of their seizuresprites are directly affecting the final boss. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG HERE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

I don’t see the problem here.  Nothing the kids could possibly put in those sprites could be at all unsettling or dangerous.

haa haa.  hee hee.  hoo hoo.

Her face is so weird though It’s Jaspers-shaped, and her eyes are constantly narrowed, I can’t even tell whether it’s in distaste or amusement

Why not both?

Andrew sure is proud of that hand’s close-up She’s not even dramatically pointing she’s literally just saying “yeah I dunno anything about that kinda shit you best go down there and ask my pretty princess, I mean, subordinate”

It is a pretty great hand, honestly.  I think this particular image gets called back to a few more times yet.

Yeah Rose! You go and fulfill your as of yet unclear vaguely Seering-related destiny

Yeah, Rose!  Get on that, maybe!

ROSE NO YOU ARE 13 THAT IS GONNA TASTE AWFUL TO YOU Heh I legitimately don’t know whether her mom would be proud of or disappointed in her if she could see her now Is this an act of defiance or emulation Just silly teenage antics, probably, but I’d like to think she misses her

Rooooooose Rose nooooooooooooooooo （ ´ω｀） Ehehe I love how the artstyle turns super silly to reflect how upset/surprised she is

These two panels constitute one of the most iconic funny moments in the comic.  It works really well.  Shoot, I should have done the post topper-edit based on these, huh?  Oh, well.  The one I already did took like four hours, mostly due to my extreme rustiness, so I’m not going back now.

Otherwise, I also like to think of Rose missing her mom here.  Maybe not admitting it to herself, but still.  I also still ascribe to the “everything Mom ever did was 110% unironic, Rose made up the whole passive aggressive conflict between them in her head, her mom wasn’t passive agressive she was just a bonkers drunk rich lady” headcannon that I think I spoke about ages ago in this very liveblog.

Anyway, yeah, this is both a hilarious joke and a fantastic little character moment for Rose.  Another contributing factor to Rose being my big early favorite with a seemingly insurmountable head start in the ‘best character’ race.

Actually, lately, since the end of the comic, she’s been gaining ground again for me?  I mean, one of the trolls definitely surpassed her for most of my Homestuck fan life, but... eh, whatever.  There’s no way I can getting into how my feelings about those characters developed over the comics life without being way more spoilery than even I’ve already been, so that kind of talk will have to wait for later.  Even if later means ‘years from now’ or ‘never’.

BOO FUCKING YAH, IT’S THE WHITE QUEEN Or Windswept Questant, for now She’s also as of yet uncorrupted by the kids’ silly sprite shenanigans

Lobac had been waiting for this reveal for a while, I think.

PM: Command John to put the carved tablet into a pyxis.

You follow the command telling you to command John to put the carved tablet in the pyxis and type, “John, put the carved tablet into the pyxis.” You successfully do that, and he successfully does that too. Everyone is friendly and cooperative.

Ah yes, you so rarely get this kind of friendly cooperation from narrators these days

It was a rather uncommonly tidy sequence, for this comic.

Shit I just remembered those typing hands we saw when trying to name Jack, the reader is like a physically present entity??? Maybe???

What prompted this thought?  The earlier black queen hand image hanging in your head, then a bit about narrators entering text, and that old bit just pops up?  It’s cool how brains work, making intuitive connections and all that.

What if we eventually zoom out to reveal a human exile commanding everyone. We’ve only been watching that human mess around up until now. The real story begins when they just suddenly go “whelp that was kinda fun. gotta look for food tho” at an incredibly dramatic moment.They turn away from the console.  And then we watch them slump through the desert for thousands of pages and their journey of introspective self-discovery is the actual story. Yes.

Shit, Lobac just predicted the whole narrative!  No point in continuing this liveblog, I guess.  “[#P%]t

Well, obviously this means that WV has an uncanny knack for distances and PM has one for sounds AR can probably track down crimes by their scent He’s like McGruff the Crime Dog, but a little less fluffy

I used to love McGruff the Crime Dog.  Until I grew up and realized he was a tool of THE MAN.

dear gOD SHE REALLY IS PUTTING JACK IN DRESSES (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ He and Slick are basically the same person, right? Oh man he is gonna stab the shit out of her one of these days

~{%|%}~

Jack Noir, more like JACK NO. NO YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THERE MURDERING PEOPLE AND FROLICKING THROUGH THE STREETS WITH YOUR ASSHOLE CREW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS PATHETIC o(`д´ ｡)

I’d say this is a “be careful what you wish for” moment, but I think Lobac knew exactly what she was doing here.

Ticket? Oh, this thing. Ha, ha, look at that, you are holding a ticket. How did that get in your hand? It belongs on the desk with the others. No, you are not here to pay a parking ticket. You explain to the frightening man that you are here to pick up that green parcel.

GIVE ME A C! GIVE ME A U! GIVE ME A T AND I AND E! sheeEEEE’S A CUTIE!!!!

Honestly, they’re all cuties.  the cuteness of the entire cast, even the villains mostly, in both visual depiction and personality, really is a big selling point of the whole comic.

There was a time when I wasn’t super into cute things.  I was never viscerally opposed to cuteness, never when through a virulently anti-girly-stuff phase, but these days I’m MUCH more into things being cute.  I just like cute characters!  Sure, I like things that are somber and spooky, but the best is when they’re somber and spooky AND super cute!

Like, Hollow Knight.  That whole game is like exactly my favorite aesthetic these days.  Sad and morose and dark and adorable.

But more often than not homestuck still comes pretty close to that ideal.  You just want to hug the shit out of all of these doofuses, a few stab wounds here or there be damned.  Speaking of stab wounds...

WHOOPS TENSION. THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT. I DO NOT ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO START KILLING PEOPLE OK

Maybe Lobac didn’t know what she was asking for earlier.

Wait, the crowns, what the fuck, he wants her to KILL THE KING AND QUEEN??? SHE’S JUST A MAIL LADY ヾ(´･-･｀)ノ”

How does he even know she’s desperate enough to kill people just to get one package?

The PARCEL MISTRESS departs with her mission of double agency. You wonder if she’ll actually be so foolish as to attempt to uphold her end of the lopsided bargain. You make a policy of handing out a REGISWORD and a HITLIST to just about everyone who enters your office. But you never think anyone’s actually going to GO THROUGH with it. 

What a phenomenal asshole That explains that

pretty much.  As for the box itself...

Yeeeeah you’re not actually gonna show me so, go ahead, taunt me, get it over with

PFFFFPFPFPFPFFF WHAT SOMETHING COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS APPARENTLY? NOT AS RIDICULOUS AS HIS FACE THO. Magnificent asshole cutie

Hahah, \[&P%]/

Anyway, at this point the action cuts back to the kids, and that seems a good a time as any to take a break.  I could just save this as a draft and finish the rest of lobac’s post later?  I mean, then I wouldn’t have to take extra time for another panel edit?  But I kind of want to post something now, so I guess well do this one in parts again.  part 2 scheduled for, let’s be ambitious and say may 2022

How did I ever use to have the time for this blogging shit?  I’ve been working on this for like six hours, and only got like a third of the way through one update?  I guess I was just younger then.

I’m so old now.  Time just gets away from me.

And my back hurts all the time.

[happynowidiot-blog-blog]

Halloween 2011: the Three Day Saga

'm not sure entirely how we survived Halloween weekend. Being in Jules's house was unbelievably strange. It was almost like when we ended up behind the bar at Big Chill. We were suddenly somewhere we never thought we'd actually be. His house is on the small side but cozy. The walls are covered in pictures of baby Jules and his little brother, and the dogs they grew up with. Jules's room is one the third floor away from the other two bedrooms. In one corner there's a giant TV and his single bed sits in the centre of the room. There aren't any posters on the wall but on his nightstand behind a stack of Tom Clancy novels is a picture of a middle aged man who Jules clearly resembles. Under the picture is a name, two dates (the second one being in January of 2009) and then the words "the Celebration of a Life". Jules's dad is dead. He died almost a year before we met him and the first we knew anything about it was from that picture on his nightstand. Penny and I were immediately aware that we couldn't bring this up, not then. Instead we teased him about his baby face and I wondered to myself about the acoustic guitar sitting at the top of the staircase. There were pictures in the hallway of Jules's football team when he was a kid and Penny laughed out loud as she pointed out a very, very blonde baby George among the group.  

Jules was a good host as he stayed with us when we first got there and introduced us to some people before continuing to circulate. We ended up outside in the garden smoking with a group of people we introduced ourselves to based entirely on the smell of the weed they were smoking. I was talking to the guy next to me for a while. He was tall, solidly built, with dark hair and a nice smile. He asked how we knew Jules and I found myself rambling about how we were among his first friends in the country. As I said this, a lightbulb went on in both mine and Penny's heads. Something just clicked and she threw herself towards my ear to go, "That is definitely Jay. That is definitely Jules's little brother." I pretty much died. I asked him if that was indeed who he was and he said yeah. We then had a nice chat about Esam and the rest of the Dubai boys and George being ridiculous and some slight Jules mockery. We'd been talking for a bit and he's cute enough that I'd started flirting at some point. I hadn't even realised I was doing it until Penny threw herself at me for the second time and whispered frantically in my ear, "You CAN'T hook up with Jules's brother!" I immediately threw myself backwards. Thank god she said something. I totally might've ended up hooking up with Jay just out of habit or instinct if Penny hadn't brought me back to reality.  

At some point, I ended up very, very high. High enough that I was no longer making sense and had no idea. I couldn't understand why people just kept leaving in the middle of conversations or why Penny kept walking up and asking how I was drunker than her. I wasn't drunk so this just confused the hell out of me. Considering I apparently couldn't talk I was incredibly clear headed. I got it into my head that I wanted to text George. I haven't drunk texted George in months and months. Since probably March, actually, but I was sitting in Jules's house talking about Greenwich with his little brother and I wished he'd been able to make it so I texted him something stupid. I called him "sweets" in the text which is bizarre as I've never called him that. "Babe": yes. "Sweets": never. The important thing about this text though is that it wouldn't send. I thought that was weird as I knew I had credit. I tested to make sure it wasn't my phone by sending a text to Penny that just said "hey" and nothing else. I then sent the same one to Clayton to double check it wasn't my phone (he's one of the first people in my phonebook). They both went through. I have absolutely no idea how I came up with the idea that this meant he'd changed his number but I did. I asked Jules for his phone and frantically scrolled through his contacts. I reached George's number and compared it with the one in my phone. They were different. I'm assuming that this is the point where I threw my phone but I can't actually be sure. Everything got a bit blurry. Again, I'm also assuming I either went and got Penny or she saw me or something but we ended up sitting in Jay's room because the door to Jules's room was locked. Penny held me as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on and why the fuck George would change his number without telling me. He'd had the same phone since he met him. He'd brought it from Dubai. It was a scratched up white phone that I'd had in my pocket for a bit that night in September. It felt like the ultimate slap in the face.  

Jules came upstairs at one point and stuck his head into the room. He handed me my phone which he'd put back together and sat next to Penny on the bed. Penny asked him if he knew what had happened that night in September. He awkwardly nodded his head looking uneasy as he said, "Kind of." I sat up and said the words I never wanted to say to Jules, "I told George that I was more than a little in love him." Jules sighed and looked away before turning to me and saying, "There's this girl, Seren-" Cue me collapsing back onto the bed with a cry of despair. When George had first mentioned an ex-girlfriend I'd immediately assumed it was Seren even though he'd never mentioned her and there was no explicit proof they'd ever dated. There are a handful of pictures of them together on facebook but none of them are even that couple-y but I just had a gut feeling. Penny had been trying to talk me out of this assumption for awhile and I'd admitted that it was insane. This obviously didn't stop it from being true. Jules had stopped talking when I freaked out so we didn't really get the story. I wasn't really in the state to realise that it I wanted to know what had actually happened I would need to let him talk. He left a bit after that to make sure no one had tried to burn his house down while he'd been talking to us and Jay walked in a bit later. 

He'd originally tried to back out as soon as he opened his door but we figured that since it was his room he could know what was going on. Penny literally stuck her finger in my ear as I laid with my head in her lap and she caught Jay up on the entire situation. She figured I didn't need to listen to it all over again. This is the part of the night that made us fall in love with Jay. As much as we love George and Jules and they're some of our best friends we never talk about anything real. There is so much they've never told us, things that we've had to suss out of off-handed comments and a truly disgusting amount of facebook stalking. Their communication skills are non-existant, both of them. Jay was much more of an open book. We told him about this lack of communication and he said that's just how they are. He lives five meters from Jules and talks to him once a week, maybe. He won't hear from George for months and then he'll come home one day and just find him chilling in his house (George hadn't been lying when he said he usually arrived unannounced). We told Jay that Jules had never mentioned his dad dying in any way, shape, or form and Jay actually talked about. He told us how hard it had been on Jules and how they had the same mannerisms, etc. We were talking about we really need some confirmation from these boys that we are indeed friends and Jay shook his head at us and said they clearly care about us. They talk about us all the time. So many of their stories involve us. That was unbelievably comforting to hear considering the actually horrible amount of time we spend talking about them.  

This portion of the conversation, however, is where things became complicated. Penny said something about how they randomly show they care like how touched she was when Jules suited up for her birthday. Jay laughed at this and said, "Oh yeah! When Jules's girlfriend left for uni at the end of the summer he took her out for this fancy dinner and suited up and everything." Penny and I just froze. We said we didn't know he had a girlfriend this summer and Jay goes, "Yeah, my mom said she's a lovely girl." I knew Jules had had something this summer. There were pictures of him and a girl and some wall posts back and forth but we figured it was just a fling or they were just screwing around. He'd never changed his relationship status and I'd talked to him a lot this summer without him mentioning her. We had no idea it had been that serious. However, beyond being annoyed that Jules hadn't mentioned a girlfriend because it's yet another example of him keeping important things from us there was another reason this was a particularly horrifying piece of information. That day in September was the 7th/8th. When did this girl leave for uni? Did they actually break up or what? Was Jules in a relationship with someone when he hooked up with Penny (a lot)? Penny left the room and this point and told me not to follow her. She was sitting in the dark hallway with her legs straight out in front of her, just breathing. I left her alone and she came back in a few minutes later looking much calmer than I would've been.  The conversation continued, shifting away from the more serious topics as some of Jay's friends walked in to chill with us. They'd run out of tobacco so Jay rolled a pure joint instead of their usual spliffs. Jay took a hit before handing it to me telling me it was really strong. I rolled my eyes and brought the joint to my lips. I laughed as I exhaled out of Jay's window per his request. Strong, my ass. They are so bad about their weed here. I felt nothing and as my earlier high had faded by then it was clearly not that strong. I passed it to Penny and she agreed with me. This guy Cesar asked a few minutes later if we "felt it yet" and we both laughed. Penny had been gradually taking over Jay's bed during this time. She'd slipped off her shoes and scooted back until she was leaning against the headboard with the blanket pulled up to her chin. Eventually, I'd followed suit as it had gotten chilly with the window open. At one point, I'd started coughing and had to run and grab my inhaler from my bag in Jules's room. 

There'd been a giant group of people sitting on his bed including a couple that had clearly been using it for other purposes  at some point. This was strange as I'd had to grab Jules to unlock the door in the first place but I wasn't in the mood to ask. I'd put my inhaler down on Jay's nightstand next to the jewelry I'd taken off. Penny and I had basically decided that we were sleeping in Jay's bed. He said that was cool as long as he had a spot on the floor he'd be fine. This plan went down the drain as that guy Cesar started snoring. He'd passed out on the end of the bed. They had to wake him up when they had to move the bed to get my phone from where I'd dropped it behind the headboard (I literally just dropped it there. I have no idea how I did it) and they could barely get him to open his eyes. Someone went downstairs and Penny told them to grab Jules for us.  

Jules came upstairs and Penny asked him if he knew "anywhere comfy" for us to crash. He said we could sleep in his mom's room and led us to the bedroom across the hall opening the door as he said, "I'll be crashing with you guys too, by the way." and walked upstairs. Penny called after him for shirts for us to sleep in. He came back downstairs with his hands full of old football jerseys. Jules is not a small guy. He's got to be close to 6' and is solidly built. This apparently didn't factor into his choice of sleepwear. He SO owns bigger shirts than the ones he gave us. Stupid 19 year old boy. Penny and I deck-changed while Jules just stripped for bed. I'm glad I'd anticipated our sleep arrangements and worn boy short underwear under my costume. I put my phone down on the night stand and climbed into the middle of the queen sized bed. This was an intentional choice as I wanted to be between Penny and Jules for all of our sakes. Penny finished changing and told me to move over. I figured it would be more awkward to explain that no, I was staying in the middle, so moved to the far end of the bed. I was wrong. Jules climbed into bed and switched the light off. It had been a really long night and we were all exhausted. I don't even know what time it was and as the time changed at 2 AM or something like that no one really knew. We all laid there and chanted "Bed, bed, bed, bed, bed." as we tried to get comfortable. I eventually fell asleep but was woken up by the sound o something. I wasn't really conscious of anything at that point but my unconscious mind was apparently on top of things. Jules and Penny were making out roughly four centimeters to my left. According to Penny, I rolled over and went, "Guys!" and they pulled apart. 

None of us got much sleep at all. Penny was hot so she got up every ten minutes. I was freezing. At one point my teeth were actually chattering. I had all of the blankets, too, I'd like to point out. Jules is a light sleeper so every time Penny or I said anything to each other he'd be awake and murmuring a response. Jules and I both snore and at one point we were both snoring while Penny laid between us wanting to die. Luckily, she knows that I only really snore when I screw my breathing up by sleep with my arm on my face so she just moved my arm so I shut up at least. Penny got up at one point and I decided that I was going to sleep next to Jules the radiator because I was sick of being cold. Penny came back and literally laid on top of me in the middle of the bed while I explained that I was freezing. She goes, "Do you want me to hold you?" I was too cold to turn her down so I rolled back over to my side of the bed and for not the first time in our friendship got to be the little spoon. I couldn't help but hope that this was the moment Jules decided to roll over and look at us. A little bit after that our alarms started going off. Well, the church across the street started ringing it's bells and I thought it was Penny's alarm. Then my phone went off where I'd left it on the nightstand next to Jules. Then Penny's phone actually went off. She got up to go the bathroom and actually start waking up. I rolled over and curled up next to Jules. According to her, she walked back in and almost took a picture of us because of how adorable we were. We were were matching matching yellow Liverpool jerseys and were sleeping curled up towards each other. She got me up and as soon as we were both of of bed Jules rolled over and spread out across the bed with a groan. He was laying facedown with a giant grin on his face he tried to get any rest.  

Penny and I wandered around the house collecting our stuff, including out shoes and hats that had been left in Jay's room. The lights were still on and Cesar was still passed out. Penny had overheard a conversation earlier about a girl having slept in the garden and the duvet was still out there when we'd walked by. We finally were ready to go after Jules's phone rang. His mom was waking him up and watching him mutter into the phone 75% asleep is the single cutest thing I've ever seen. I don't know what it is with these boys when they're sleepy. George has never been more adorable than the morning we crept out and he laid there with his eyes mostly closed going "Hug me, hug me" as we said goodbye. Penny and I awkwardly hugged Jules where he laid and ventured into the early morning sun. It was a gorgeous morning, not too cold and bright out. We walked towards the bus stop that would bring us back to Richmond where we could catch the tube. We were across the street from the bus stop and just kind of strolling in awe of the night we'd just had. As we did this, the bus we needed drove straight past us. It was a really good moment for us. We both just stood there going, "... Fuck."   

We sat at the bus stop for ten minutes waiting for the next bus. We must have looked like the ultimate walks of shame. Penny's coat covered her costume but she was holding her Cat in the Hat hat/ears. I was in my costume holding my hat with hair an absolute mess because I'd worn it curly the night before and then slept on it. We must've reeked of weed, alcohol, and boy. Penny reminded me of the whole "made out with Jules" thing and I had a minor heart attack. I was so mad and upset at her and Jules and especially at George but I was so tired that I couldn't even really be angry. I was, I knew that, but I was too tired and slightly hungover to really be feeling it. Out bus came and we continued to bemoan the events of the last evening until we got back to Richmond. We stopped to get McDonald's and it was incredibly unsatisfying. We were both such wrecks of emotion. Exhaustion, anger, frustration, sadness, and dread were all mashed up in my still slightly foggy from the amount I'd smoked the night before brain. We got on the Tube and halfway home, Penny shared her epiphany about the fact that they'd been IN HIS MOTHER'S BED. It's too perverse for words. We must have been amusing as hell to everyone else on this train however. We got home eventually (I will never doubt Jules's love again) and we both showered and I put my costume back on. I ditched the knee socks I'd been wearing the night before and Penny changed into her sailor costume. Redoing the intricate Mad Hatter eye makeup I'd been wearing was miserable knowing that it was so early in the morning. I grabbed my short black jacket and Penny ate some leftover Chinese food before we headed out into the grey London morning.  

The weather was too mild for the end of October as we walked to Russell Square. We got to where we were meeting and there was a group of people in costumes that we were assuming were a part of Adam's thing but we didn't recognize anyone. Penny called Adam and when he didn't pick up she called Sean. Sean was waaaasted. He literally could barely talk. He's sitting on the phone with Penny going, "Adam! Adam! Talk for Sean!" Too fucking funny. They eventually got there and the group of thirty drunk people in costumes covered in fake blood was indeed the group we were going to Church with. Adam was dressed as a giant baby covered in fake blood. Sean was some sort of pumpkin faces phantom in what was going to be a boiling hot costume complete with mask. They introduced us to their roommate Michelle, dressed as an evil blood covered Alice in Wonderland. The group of us must have looked terrifying. There was Glenn dressed as clown, two Spanish guys in tiger onesis, a crazed surgeon, and a devil among a ton of other freaky costumes. Normally, going to where we were going wouldn't take that long but as it was a weekend the tubes had to be fucked up. We had to take two different tubes and a bus. We lost have the group and then found them again and we all ended up dominating the upper part of a double decker bus. It was genuinely hilarious. I wish I hadn't been so tired so we could have drank with all of them but I just couldn't do it. After various hilarious bus escapades, we got to the Church. This club is insane. Everyone was dressed up as we handed over our tickets and walked into this giant old theatre. There was a main stage covered in Australian flags. The bar was chaotic as people handed over drink vouchers and received multiple drinks at a time. You have to buy in bulk. It was too funny for words. The music was old rock favorites and things anyone could dance to, completely unpretentious. They had cameras that took pictures of people on the dance floor and threw them up onto a screen on the main stage with captions like "Cheer if you want to see my tits!". Some of the women who ended up on the screen laughed and turned away, A good number obliged, especially as the afternoon progressed. 

Eventually, the entertainement portion of the day started. By "entertainment", by the way, I mean strippers. First, there was a girl stripper and the crowd turned to face the stage the men whistling and the women roaring with laughter. Sean couldn't even watch and turned away, embarrassed. It was too adorable for words. After her, came the male stripper. I genuinely don't think I've ever laughed that hard. It was hilarious being in this mixed, chilled our atmosphere and watching my first strip show on a Sunday afternoon. The show ended with a "boat race" which is essentially a drinking game that has a group of guys versus a group of girls seeing who can chug their beers the fastest. As this was Church, there was a twist. The girls got a 15 second head start if they flashed the crowd. There was three rounds and every group of girls decided they wanted the advantage. So funny. As the event came to a close, we all filed outside into the sunshine. I wish I'd been drunker so I didn't feel quite so ridiculous. Apperently, the big thing with Church is that afterwards everyone goes to Walkabout in Shepard's Bush. I have no idea what this is all about. As the tube systems was still a mess, this required finding a bus. Oh my fuck. this was ridiculous. We'd lost Glen at some point and Sean was on the phone with him trying to explain where we were. He hangs up and goes "He's not too drunk to find us with enough time but drunk enough to annoy the shit out of me." There was a group of Germans or something that asked if we were going to Walkabout and how to get there. Zaccy stepped forward and went, "Yeah, just go down that road take the first right and then the second left." They left and we all turned to him, "What? I just don't them coming with us." So fucking funny. We found our bus stop eventually and Zaccy sat down next to an old lady and became friends with her. He looked hilarious in his bee costume smoking a cigarette. Glen never found us. 

That bus ride was the longest bus ride of my entire life. We were exhausted and the girls sitting in front of us were talking and repeating the same in joke over and over again. I realised that we must sound like that. I tried to sleep while mentally apologizing to anyone who's ever sat behing Penny and me after a night out. We drove past Gloucester Road and I swear if I'd had my house keys with me I would've gotten off the bus. The overwhelming emotion was hunger. We were all starving. One of the guys that was with us got off at High st. Kensington and said he was going home. We eventually arrived and Adam answered the latest of several phone calls from Simon. He was meeting us at Walkabout. Sean then got a call from Glen. He was already at Walkabout. The guy who was too drunk to find the bus station managed to beat us there. I still have no idea how that happened. Sean told him we'd meet him there. First, we stopped at this Australian pie shop and devoured pies. It was interesting being with all those Aussies and Kiwis when they were so far from home eating food that reminds them of it. When we'd finished we finally went to Walkabout. There was queue outside of it and as we got closer we saw something interesting. The guy who'd gotten off at High St. Ken was in line. We walked up and said, "This isn't home" and he shrugged at us. It's like there was a rip in the space time continuum. Someone who would've supported this theory was Simon, who we joined at the back of the queue. When he first saw Penny and me he looked at us despairingly, "Why are you people everywhere?!" We rolled our eyes at him and stood next to him in line. The reason he would support this theory would now become clear. He leaned down and said in my ear, "I'm on a lot, a lot of ketamine." Oh good. That's what Simon needs in his life, ketamine. As we moved up through the line Zaccy walked up to Simon and goes, "Hello, my favorite. Simon pouted and replied, "I'm not your favorite. You throw me aside like a used dish towel." The conversation progressed to Simon lecturing on the costumes people were wearing, "Some of the outfits these women have on, it's downright gratuitous!" Zaccy rolled his eyes, "Oh, grow up Simon." It took all of my self-control to not burst into laughter. 

We eventually made if inside and Penny and I agreed that we weren't going to stay very long. The only thing that made me want to stick around besides Adam leaving was the goldmine that is a high Simon. When we got drinks he took a sip of his and says, "This is shit. I'm a bartender, you know. I know these things." I think my favorite moment may have been when we all went to go dance. Simon dancing by himself wearing his reflective aviators is literally the best thing I've ever seen. It made being there even when I was exhausted totally worth it.