#my mom is.... better? about it?
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clicked around on my last stream since i was already looking over something on my twitch about and realized you can 100% hear my mom misgender me toward the end there lmao
#little rock.txt#definitely <3 doesn't feel great#i don't usually register it bcus if i hurt every time my family misgendered me i would simply not be functioning#but. idk. i wasn't expecting it bcus i forgot she'd sat down next to me at that point#and as much as i deal with it irl#it stings when people misgender/incorrectly name me around people who otherwise wouldn't know#like my dad consistently uses she/her when i'm going about my day at home? whatever i don't want to argue with him#my dad uses she/her when i'm on a stream and i have to pretend like i didn't hear him? i'm quite literally crumpling into dust#at this point i'm afraid to go back through certain streams bcus i don't want to know if someone could have overheard my birth name#and like. i still want to keep that name as a middle name#i have a complicated relationship with that name#but i do not hate it#but you know what i do hate? when people find it out who i don't explicitly consent to telling#also like. a side note#my mom is.... better? about it?#i'm not going to pretend any of my family are Good at it but my mom's better#so. idk. it sucks.
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Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.
#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family#after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay#like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad#Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin#He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce#He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom#The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole#Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3#Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less??#He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette#Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store#and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him#Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have#Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma#Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens#That’s the tragedy. The drama.#Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones#It was inevitable#Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind#batfam#batman#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#damian wayne#bruce wayne
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she’s like if the virgin mary smoked a pack of pall malls every day 🚬
#sims 4#the sims community#simblr#ts4#sims 4 edit#mysims#drawing/editing these tears took actual years off my life#editing this in general did but the tears were my hell#her name is norma jean named after her grandmother but she goes by either jeanie or jj#she works at the local convenience store and bartends at night when shes able to pick up shifts#shes the worst bartender in existence and refuses to lift anything over 2 pounds#she once convinced a customer to buy her a sweater because she looked a little cold while working#she lied and said her manager never lets them turn on the heat and casually mentioned pennys was selling her favorite sweater#and then described in detail exactly where the sweater was in the store#all she had to do was blink her big brown eyes and call them baby a few times and they immediately folded#she goes to church 7 days a week even though she hates it because that's what she did when her mom was still alive#and its one of the few things that helps her feel close to her mom#her mom died after she had to drop out of highschool to take care of her#she holds a lot of resentment for having to give up such a big part of her life#but at the same time blames herself for not being able to make her mom better#she doesnt believe in banks and hides money around her house to store it but she's also super forgetful#she'll randomly find money around the house and then treat herself like it was present she meant to leave for her future self#she loves crosswords but treats it like a fun game and refuses to check if her answers are ever right#there's ur fun little facts about jeanie 🫵🏼
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sebek, you, & fae trap that tried to abduct u
#fsh my mom just sent me video about fae trap & told me not to touch leaf that out of placely swaying around while everything else stay still#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#twst grim#what is better than different kind partner protecting u from the mishaps of their own kind#fanart#outdoor wear
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same as it never was.
#variant + wip under the cut!#back to the future#bttf#marty mcfly#fanart#my art#illustration#having big lone pines timeline feelings. can you tell#tfw when you're you but you're not You.#you're not the You they know and you're not the You they grew up with or raised and you're not the You who belongs here#tfw everything is better but nothing is right#but if you're the only one who knows any different#then is it really everything else that's the problem?#tfw you overwrite your entire reality but in doing so you created a world you don't and can never belong in#tfw you alone remember a childhood that never existed because you destroyed it#tfw you technically committed temporal genocide but your mom needs you to make space on the table for the turkey#as you can see i am normal about marty mcfly
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Three people coming together to maximize their joint slay…
#posting at 12:30 when no one’s awake…my speciality#anyway. FINALLY FREE.#there’s a non doodle background version that I might post for mom city anniversary /)#it highlights the details of them a bit better. I just liked the doodles 🤷♀️#Roy Kent#Jamie Tartt#keeley jones#royjamiekeeley#royjamie#roykeeley#jamiekeeley#theres little details in here about all the relationships :)#ted lasso#ted lasso art#my art#mind you I open procreate about once every six months this is like my 3rd artwork on there lgrnjdkdk
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On Voting in America
So one of the most profound comments on routine chores that I've ever encountered was, hilariously, the Pickle Rick episode of "Rick & Morty," where (after a lot of shenanigans have already ensued) this therapist absolutely lays Rick out:
"I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is: it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."
I think about this at least once a week — usually while I'm doing my laundry or sweeping or some other task that needs doing and won't get me anything more than clean clothing or a dog-hair-free floor. There's no Pulitzer for wiping down your microwave or scrubbing your toilet; no one's awarding you for getting all the dishes out of the sink. At best you have the satisfaction of crossing it off your list.
Voting is very much the same (and I'm talking about the US here, as an American). Sure, you sometimes get a sticker; but nobody's going to cheer for you. There's no adventure here, no potential for anything more than crossing something off of a list. It's a chore, something that needs doing in order to repair, maintain, and yes even clean. So I get why people don't like doing it.
And I've decided I don't give a shit.
Do it anyway. Your country takes astonishingly little from you — taxes, the once-in-a-blue-moon jury duty, and a theoretical draft that hasn't been used in over half a century and likely will never be again — but it asks you (asks! not requires! not demands!) to vote once or twice a year. It's not always easy; especially in conservative states, the impediments to vote can be ridiculous. But it is once a year and unlike in our nation's all-too-recent past, you will not die if you do it.
In fact, the worst outcome from voting these days is that the person or issue that you vote for loses — but you won't know if they lose until after the election. Polls are less accurate now, for a whole host of reasons; you cannot know until after the election who or what will win. This makes your vote more valuable than possibly ever before.
Use that power. Not because it's exciting or even rewarding, but because your vote is what keeps our country's metaphorical teeth from falling out and our metaphorical ass from stinking.
Brush, wipe, vote.
#ok the metaphor may've gotten a little gross but rick & morty chose it not me#anyway if voting didn't matter then rich people wouldn't do it#and I can assure you: they do#also: please don't think of voting like a reward for the person you're voting for#or as a punishment for the person you're not voting for#my mom's advice was:#think about the most vulnerable people you care about and vote for the person or issue that will make their lives better#and you'll rarely go wrong#yes there are often two bad options but if you're old enough to vote you're old enough to understand the difference between bad and less ba#anyway that's all the political lecturing I'll do this year#except maybe to complain about the 18-hour day I'll be having on Tuesday#oh also SIGN UP TO WORK ELECTIONS WE NEED MORE HELP#thank you#politics!
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We like to say how it's okay to say "no" and it really is. It is so okay to say "no" and I really like the helpful reminder.
I just want to say though that sometimes, we've weighed the consequences and decided that saying "yes" when we don't want to is better for us for whatever reason. And I just want you to know that it doesn't mean you're a failure. It doesn't mean you're weak. It doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be bothered by doing what you're saying "yes" to.
Sometimes it isn't safe for us to say "no". Sometimes there might be consequences that have to do with our job, living situation or any other number of negative things.
While you have the right to say "no", it's okay if you've decided that it isn't what best for you for you in a situation.
#my post#thinking about this today#because i know my mom is about to ask me to do something#i don't want to do#and i've had anxiety about her asking this all week#but it isn't safe for me to say no#i could end up without somewhere to live#i will end up with her being#passive aggressive at me for weeks#so while i don't want to say yes#it is so much better for me#in this situation to just say yes#i have the right to decide that even if i want to that say no isn't best for me
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Stuck in the middle of a forest made of
Flesh and bones and they're all scared of
A lost little boy who has lost his heart
Fear's not enough, they have to
Tear him apart —-------
There are two things Daniel Fenton knows that his family knows as well:
He’s adopted.
He can’t remember anything else before that.
‘Adoption’ is a loose term, implying that they went through the official legal processes and troubles of adopting a child into their home willingly, and with the full intention of doing so going into it. That is not what happened. What happened is that Jasmine Fenton found a half-dead child, in strange clothing, in the middle of the woods at her Aunt Alicia’s cabin, and then she went and got her parents.
What happened is that a twelve year old Danny woke up in the same cabin, wearing clothes much too big on him that didn’t belong to him, and with very little memory of before that moment. He wakes up like a spring being set loose, sitting up so fast he scares the daylights out of Jasmine Fenton sitting next to him. He wakes up, reaching for his sleeve for something that isn’t there, and when it isn’t his mind stutters, like he’s tripped at the top of a steep hill.
When they ask him for his name, he tells them, clearing muddled thoughts from his mind; Danny. He’s twelve.
(He thinks that’s his name, at least. It sounds right; it feels right. If he thinks really hard about it, he thinks he can remember someone calling him that, utter adoration in their voice. So it must be his name.)
The Jasmine girl convinces her parents to take him home with them, and they give him the spare guest room upstairs. He has nothing to fill it with.
It’s… a strange experience, to go to a ‘new’ home when he doesn’t even remember his old one.
The official adoption process… happens. He can’t say it’s easy, or difficult. He’s oblivious for the most of it, Jasmine intends on helping him settle in and Danny can’t say he enjoys the smothering. He learns that he is stubbornly self-independent, that’s one new thing he knows about himself.
His adoption papers say ‘Daniel J. Fenton’. Danny remembers staring at the name ‘Daniel’ for a long, long moment, something curdling sour in his sternum. His name is Danny, that he knows. But it’s not Daniel. But he doesn’t know any other way of saying it, so he keeps his complaints to himself.
(Jack Fenton boisterously claps his hand on Danny’s shoulder and jerks him around, grinning wide as he welcomes him into the Fenton Family. Danny’s mind blanches at the touch on his shoulder, an instinct snapping like the maw of a snake, telling him to cut off the man’s fingers for daring to touch him.)
(He keeps the thought to himself, tension rising up his shoulders the longer Jack Fenton’s heavy hand stays on him.)
They found Danny in the summer. It’s a perfect coincidence, Maddie Fenton says before she goes back into her lab with Jack Fenton. She says it’s enough time to allow Danny to adjust; that they’ll enroll him into the school year in the fall. Then she stuffs a canister of ectoplasm onto the top shelf, and disappears like the ghosts she studies back down the stairs.
(There’s something eerily familiar about the ectoplasm sitting in the fridge, something unsettlingly so. Danny knows what that stuff is, but he doesn’t know where. When the house is empty, he takes a can from the fridge and inspects it.)
Jazz wants him to leave the house. Danny doesn’t want to step foot outside of the FentonWorks building until he has something that quells the feeling of vulnerability he gets whenever he does. He tried to once, and he felt exposed. Unsafe.
He turned back around and went inside.
—-------
Where do we go
When the river's running slow
Where do we run
When the cats kill one by one
—------
One day, when the house is empty — or, as empty as it can be; the Fenton parents down in the lab, and jazz out with friends. Danny is making a sandwich, and he caves into the urge to flip the knife in his hands between his fingers. A childish impulse, but one he falls for nonetheless. It comes to him easily, like second nature, in fact. The slip of the blade between his fingers is seamless, flowing with an ease like water running down the wall.
He’s almost startled by it; his body holds memories that his mind does not. Muscles that know which way to move and twist, limbs that know how to hold and how to throw. He continues twirling it, fascinated, as if he were a scientist discovering a new species of animal.
It’s not for a handful of minutes when a new thought hits him; an impulsive thought that pops in the back of his mind like a firecracker; Danny moves without thinking.
He turns, and throws the knife. The pull of his shoulder, the flick of his elbow, is familiar like a hug. He knows when to let go, and the blade flies through the air in impressive speed, embedding itself into the wall with a hearty, loud thunk. Sinking into the drywall like butter.
Danny stares at it in shock, he feels relieved — about what? — before he feels the guilt. He scrambles across the kitchen to pull it out, heart racing in his chest at being caught, and prays no one notices the hole it left behind.
(He runs up the stairs before anyone can find him, food forgotten, and hides the knife beneath his mattress like a guilty murder weapon.)
After that, he leaves the house more. It’s more out of fear of being caught than the desire to leave. But Danny is quickly learning that among all things, he is someone who was dangerous, before he lost his memory. Even with his mind in fractures, he is still dangerous.
He’s not sure how to feel about that — he thinks he should be scared. He feels a little proud, instead.
—------
Hazel beneath our claws
While we wait for cerulean to cry
Unsettled ticks run through time
Enough for the hunt to go awry
—-----
There’s another thing he learns about himself. That he knows about since he woke up. He knows that he left someone behind. He doesn’t know who, but he knows they must have been close; he’s always looking down and finding himself surprised when the only shadow he sees is his own.
He thinks that he must have sung to them a lot; he finds himself humming familiar melodies when he’s lost in thought. Lullabies lingering at the tip of his tongue, an instinct to turn and sing them to someone beside him. He can’t remember the lyrics, but his mouth does, it tries to get him to say them when he’s not thinking. He can’t.
Danny’s found himself humming under his breath more times than he can count, trying to recall whatever it is his mind is trying to claw forward.
(“That’s a pretty song, Danny.” Jazz tells him at breakfast one day, Danny screws his mouth shut. He hadn’t realized he was humming. “What is it?”)
(Something mean and possessive rears its head on instinct, uncoiling like a snake from its ball. His shoulders hunch defensively, he bites his cheek to prevent himself from baring his teeth. He doesn’t know what song it is, but it’s not for her. “I don’t know.”)
He misses his person. Dearly. He knows, the longer he is without them, that they must have been close. Otherwise, he wouldn’t feel like he’s missing a chunk from himself. He wouldn’t be turning to someone who's not there; reaching for a hand that’s missing, birdsong on his tongue, a story to tell.
A dream haunts him one night. Warm and familiar, he’s holding onto someone smaller than him, they’re tucked into his side like a puzzle piece. He’s humming one of his songs that is always playing in the back of his mind, an unfinished tale of a harpy and a hare. Danny can’t remember their face, not all of it. He remembers green eyes, hair dark like his own, skin brown like his.
He loves them more than anything else in the world, a fact he knows down to his soul. He loves them so much it fills his heart with sunlight. Danny squeezes them tight, nuzzling into their hair; he makes them laugh. Then, he proudly boasts something. That when he takes something of their father’s, that his person — a sibling? That feels right — will be… the word fades from Danny’s mind before he can make sense of it.
His person hugs him tight, his… brother? And their mother — a woman whose face he can’t remember either, but who he loves like a limb nonetheless — appears, smiling. Her hands reach for them both, voice calling them, ‘her sons’. There’s ticking in the distance, it sounds like the fastening of chains.
Danny wakes up cold, tears streaming down his face. The details of the dream already fading from his mind like the cold pull of a corpse.
—-------
Harpy hare
Where have you buried all your children?
Tell me so I say
—-------
When school starts that Fall, Danny joins the sixth grade class, and quickly learns more things about himself. One of those things being that he’s smarter than the rest of his grade, whatever education he had before, it was better than the one he’s getting now.
Everyone knows he’s adopted right off the bat. He tells them when the teacher forces himself to introduce himself, but it’s not like they needed him to tell them for them to know; he never existed in their little world before now, and the Fentons are pale as they come. Danny is not.
He befriends Sam Manson and Tucker Foley; they ask him about the scars fading up and down his arms, they ask him about the scar carved diagonal across his face.
Danny, as politely as he can, tells them he doesn’t remember. He thought kindness would come second nature to him, his dream burned into his mind where he hugged his brother so sweetly. Apparently, his sweetness is only second nature to people he considers his own.
(It becomes even more apparent when Dash Baxter tries to bully him later that day, and Danny ruffles like an eagle threatened. His mind whispers, hissy and agitated, sinking like a shadow at his shoulder, several different ways Danny could kill him for talking to him like that, and fifteen more ways he could cripple him.)
(Danny ignores those thoughts, up until Dash Baxter tries to grab him. Then he breaks his nose on the wood of his desk. It’s easy how quickly the rest of his grade sinks him down to the status of social pariah.)
(At least Sam and Tucker still talk to him after that. When Danny goes to the principal’s office later, he wisely doesn’t mention the worse things he could’ve done than break Dash Baxter’s nose.)
—--------------
It clicks and it clatters in corners and borders
And they will never
Hear me here listen to croons and a calling
I'll tell them all the
Story, the sun, and the swallow, her sorrow
Singing me the tale of the Harpy and the Hare
—-------
More dreams come, of course they do. Each one halfway to forgotten whenever he wakes up, ticking faint in his ears. He is many different ages. He is young, shorter than a table. He is older, holding onto his little brother. He is singing in almost every single one. He is singing to his brother.
Danny can barely remember the lyrics, he’s begun leaving a journal by his bedside so that it’s the first thing he can write down when he wakes up. He’s a storyteller, he learns. He feels like a historian, trying to piece together a culture long dead and forgotten.
His most vivid dream-like memory is not a happy one, and for once he’s almost relieved he barely recalls it. He is somewhere that isn’t home, but his mother and brother are there. He is dressed in black, blades keen in his hands.
They are atop a moving train. They are fleeing something. His brother is struggling to keep up, he is small, and young. It’s beautifully sunny, they are somewhere green and lovely.
It is a fast dream.
His brother stumbles on something, and Danny, fast as a whip, snatches him by the back of his shirt and hoists him up to his feet before he can fall. “Watch your feet, habibi.” He murmurs low, a hand on his back. It’s hard to hear, there is wind in their ears.
His brother, face obscured in all but his eyes, which are green as emeralds, nods.
The dream blurs, but Danny falls behind. His foot catches on air — impossible, it should’ve been, at least. He never trips. — and he lands against the roof with a thud and a grunt. His mother and brother stop, and turn for him.
The train hits a turn before Danny can get up, and he shouldn’t have, something pulls on him, he swears, but he slips. He can’t find the purchase to pull himself up, cold fear hits him as his nails scrape against the metal.
His mother and brother’s horrified faces are the last thing he sees before he disappears off the side of the train.
(The ticking is at its loudest when he wakes up, pounding against his inner skull. He only manages to write down ‘train fall’ in his journal, before he’s flipping over to press his head into his pillow to get the pain to stop.)
—---
She can't keep them all safe
They will die and be afraid
Mother, tell me so I say
(Mother, tell me so I say)
—-------
When Danny is fourteen he is still humming songs he can’t remember, his mind still in a broken puzzle. But his room is now decorated with stars and plants in every corner. He has a guitar he keeps in the corner of his room, and he plays the lullabies in his head on the strings over and over again.
The ectoplasm in the fridge still unsettles him, still reminds him of a past he can’t recall. The knife beneath his mattress has returned to the kitchen — he doesn’t need it. He found a box in the attic last year, it had his name on it, and inside he found familiar, strange clothes, and more weapons than he thought was possible to carry on one person.
(Even without knowing that the Fentons prefer guns to blades, Danny knows, instinctively, that they were his weapons. He was — was? Is — a dangerous person. He takes the box down to his room to sort through. The weapons all fit into his callused hands almost perfectly — the grooves worn to fit his palm. They’re just a little small.)
(He tentatively takes a small blade with him to school one day, and feels much more comfortable with it sheathed beneath his shirt. He’s kept it on him ever since, like he’s reunited a lost limb to himself.)
Danny doesn’t have a name for his person, his little brother, nor does he have a name for his beloved mother. He’s haunted by dreams every few weeks, many of them repeating. He’s ingrained the words he can remember to memory, and the ones he doesn’t, he writes down in his journal. His little brother; Danny calls him a bird, he can’t figure out what kind. His little bird of some kind; when Danny takes something from their father — what, he can’t remember what — then his little brother will be a little bird.
(He doesn’t have a name for his brother, yet, but he’s calling his birdie in his head. It’s better than nothing.)
—------
Seeker, do you ever come to wonder
If what you're looking for is within where you hold
Will you leave a trail for them to follow a path
You'll soon forget
Home
—---------
When he’s fourteen, Danny dies. It does nothing to fix his fractured memories, much to his consternation. It just confirms something he already knows; that he was someone dangerous, and that he still is.
When the shock of death has worn off, Danny inspects his ghost in the metal reflection of the closest table. It’s blurry, hard to see, but shock green eyes pierce back at him, green like the portal. Lazarus, Danny’s mind whispers, and he blinks rapidly.
‘Lazarus,’ he mouths to himself. It’s familiar. Sam shows him with her phone what he looks like, joking that he looks like an assassin. Danny doesn’t think she’s that too far off.
He doesn’t tell her that. He tucks the thought away with the rest of his secrets, and fiddles with the hood gathering at his neck, attached to a cape with torn edges swinging down to his ankles. He pulls it over his shock white hair. It shadows over his face impossibly so, until all you can see are his green-green eyes peering out like a wolf hiding in the brush.
He ends up calling himself Phantom.
(Maybe now he can start putting lyrics to his lullabies; his memories may not have returned, locked away with the sound of a clock, but the dead can talk. One of them may just have answers.)
----------
Home is where we are
Home is where you are
Home is where I am
-----------------
Dedicated to @gascansposts for being the one who introduced me to the band Yaelokre, and thus being the whole reason I was inspired to write this in the first place >:] Those lyrics at the line breaks are all from their album Hayfields.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul au#amnesiac danyal al ghul au#songs in order of the album: the hartebeest / harpy hare / and the hound / neath the grove is a heart#musician danny has my heart and soul#yes this danyal IS an alternative danny from the other au. an au where things were a little better :) but still sucks#implied good mom talia al ghul#danyal is a momma's boy send tweet#dpxdc ficlet#dpxdc prompts#dp x dc au#dp x dc fanfic#danyal is sTILL five years older than damian in this au#no beta no edits we die like danny fenton#poc danny fentons#i didnt know where to end this :(( i was gonna go on but i blanked. i thought about going into his relationships with his rogues and so on.#but that felt too much like trying to just increase the word count rather than actually writing?? if that makes sense#ugh im gonna have forgotten to include things and im gonna be kicking myself later#morally ambiguous danny whoo! we love to see it#since this was just for fun it doesnt really go into it all that much other than like. it happens. and that danny realizes he's dangerous#phantom in a hazmat suit? nah phantom looking like an assassin >:].#danyal al ghul with damian and his mom: 🥰🌸✨#danyal al ghul with everyone else: 👹🔪#am i heavily implying that clockwork had smth to do with Danyal’s amnesia and appearance by the cabin? 👀 maybe#not enough danyal al ghul aus where him being an assassin actually. has some kind of affect on him
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A Heart to Heart
<previous - next>
#Final Fantasy XIV#FFXIV#WoL x Erenville#X'vahl Tia#Erenvahl#huge chunks of dialogue my beloathed...#Lamaty'i like: Maybe I leave out the part where I thought I was going to die......... :3#This might seem like it didn't take very long for me to draft#but in truth it has been sitting in limbo just as long as the one I posted yesterday was#I just didn't want to post a rehash of MSQ with nothing to follow it for another month#so I forced myself to try to get these both out around the same time.#Anyway I suffer when I have to write this much dialogue#especially for a character I don't know as well#but it's good practice at least.#and while these are all supposed to center on Erenvahl#I wanted to get an outside perspective and Lamaty'i's is very important.#Honestly that short story couldn't have come at a better time#Anyway... there's gonna be a bit of a time skip between this and the next one probably#but just imagine that Erenville's trauma cutscene when he finds out about his mom happens between this and the next one#I'm not going to add that scene since it literally happens exactly how it happened in game#a part of me thinks I should for pacing but I'm not going to.
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Random update sorry everything is taking so long. I've paused Patreon and I'm working on various things, but some people have started to express concern for my safety/living status so just letting you know I am alive!
#between my divorce and moving and the fires closing the webtoon office#its just been a lot!#also im saying divorce even though we werent married#cause after 11 years 'breakup' doesnt quite cover it#he grew up with my family we saw him as a son and a brother so my whole family is very upset#meanwhile his mom pretended to forget my sisters name when she went over there to get me some of my stuff...#extremely upsetting#but it is what it is i am absolutely better off it just suuuuuucks!#got a therapist and shes nice and im like. lmfao. im like halfway through four episodes?#i keep doing lines and then getting overwhelmed an going to work on a different episode#so i am working im just not. finishing stuff...#justifying it in my brain like well this is work that has to get done at some point so as long as im doing SOMETHING#who cares what order it gets done in#so. working on it. im never gonna take on this much work again lmfao i fucked myself over majorly#i want all of these things done still#just gotta let myself do things uh.. one at a time.#not 5 at a time#cause then 5 things are getting done slowly and stressfully#which is just way worse#anyways. yeah im alive don't worry about me#just emotional and busy so im not drawing#delete later
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I know this wasn't necessary for the movie's plot but it should've been in the movie I'm crying 😂
#AT WHAT POINT DID THEY DECIDE TO SEPARATE THESE CHARACTERS FOR THE SEQUEL THEY ARE SO FUNNY TOGETHER#who cares about angst my whole life is angsty give me some funny shit like this you better do in btsv i want this level of funny#spider man into the spider verse#into the spiderverse#Spiderverse#peter b parker#gwen stacy#spider man noir#spider ham#video#deleted scene#gwen acting like a mom here
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I’m about 60% sure my grandmother’s twin brother was intersex and it maybe even had something to do with my grandmother’s ‘hormonal problems’, but I’ll never be able to know for sure because like many families it was hidden away like a deep, horrific secret shame. Just as my great grandmother’s sister was quietly lobotomized and no one was allowed to talk about it other than to say how much ‘easier she is to manage’. Just like my grandfather’s sister’s kid was quietly shuffled away as her progressive disease got more disabling, and just like that same sister hiding herself away after becoming disabled due to an accident. Just like my mother’s cousin just… kind of being ignored when she became disabled, left to deal with it by herself. The ablism is baked in so deeply that I have no real idea where a good chunk of my inherited health problems come from because it was forbidden to talk about them, never mind treat them properly. How much longer could some of these family members have lived if they felt comfortable enough to tell someone else about their health? If they’d been allowed to even aknowledge mental health stuff? How many of us down the family tree could have avoided so much suffering, ourselves? We’ll never know. The deep family secrets… are all just normal ‘your body is doing some shit’ things only hinted at in drunk conversations and whispers behind people’s backs. Because being sick or a bit different has been so socially unacceptable that my own family members would rather watch you die alone than ask you what you might need to survive.
#ableism#ableist language cw#tw: ableism#tw: lobotomy#tw: family death#tw: abuse#I mean my family is#especially heinous#about this#but that really was just… expected of you at the time#if you had some illness you stfu about it#if you were disabled you were hidden away#disabled#disability#piecing together bits and pieces of secrets#to get a better idea of what the actual fuck was passed down in the ol genes#I have the same ‘mystery’ hormonal problems#hell I even have the same stomach problems#as my grandmother and her brother#I wish I could have just asked wtf the doctors said when they sent him in for a million tests as a teen#did my great grandmother have the same progressive disease#that is eating away at my mom’s brain right now#who knows#who fucking knows#IT SURE WOULD BE NICE TO FUCKING KNOW
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Apparently we do all need this explained. But the reason why the army does nothing to protect Minrathous is because they’re carrying out the coup. You generally cannot do a coup without a military backing you and unseating your political rivals and the current leadership. That’s how coup’s work. I hope this helps.
#dragon age#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#about half my family lives under a military junta#hell#last time i visited them a coup had just happened#that’s why i know how coups work#bc as a child my mom went#‘at least we coup ourselves’#bc internal coup is better than a forigen power coup#which is some fucked up logic#but also makes sense#minrathous#treviso#datv#lucanis#neve#neve gallus#lucanis dellemorte
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My haitani father Shio headcanon is just a bit too funny cuz of how well it works that it sounds like a waste of perfect canon idea and crossover for both of wakui's works.
Aside from the obvious physical features very very obvious, identical eyes, nose, blonde eyebrows, rindou's face form, ran's hair color palette and (arguably) bonten hair style, blah blah i mean just look a the pictures below, you can also bring up any fact from either manga and add it to the hc and it fits in just SO WELL, i'll give the first example, The Haitanis are very obviously rich spoiled kids like have you seen their apartment? They have a fucking dj set, only rich kids with neglective powerful parents will have no problem paying for that, just saying, and even though i love him let's be real Shio is the type to be that parent, i mean cmon he's rich like crazy rich (filthy yakuza money yum yum) he tots would give his children WAY more than enough allowance so they can leave him alone, also the way they act, i've always the Haitanis were the type of kids that think they own the school cuz their dad is rich .
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bcee1a928a6125064c57f5d3222ea2d2/aac83dffaf26381d-29/s540x810/1593e950bf12e035d36a11d84ea455163f520e20.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cdfc9f2e1c3f7904c3a4f3977e1d43c5/aac83dffaf26381d-f0/s540x810/71373a0142f8198e10e7be63666b9bbc76ec35a9.jpg)
Nvm if this never becomes canon or both universes don't collide, it's just so entertaining to keep connecting the dots that were likely never there, like how Rindou is a heavy drinker cuz his father drank alot with the rest of the Yotsurugis and he tried to imitate him from a young age that it became an unhealthy habit or if you want to add more drama he only drinks cuz he looks up to his father but Shio favors Ran cuz he can posssibly succeed him (canon power complex) so Rindou resorted to drinking cuz it's the only thing like his dad that he can do. Heck yeah i made it angsty!!!
You can also add great context to his fear of Yakuza, picture this, when he was a kid he got up in the middle of night after hearing a loud noise to search for his parents and witnessed Shio (canon Yakuza) pew pew-ing some poeple and surrounded with scary men, that probably scarred him for life that he was so terrified when Kakucho got them interfering with some, OH OH something just came to mind, if he's the son of a yakuza yeah he didn't wanna clash with other yakuza families cuz it can end in a blood shed and risk his and his family's lives.
And i'm gonna add this one not very small detail and i swear i'll shut up (for now), i know it's just a stupid headcanon that is very far from becoming reality and i don't have to take it this deep but hear me out, why their last name is Haitani and not Yotsurugi like their dad, Shio is powerful and have many enemies right ? So he simply decided to protect his children and their identity by giving them another last name likely their mother's (yk like minato with naruto style plan ?) So Haitani is actually their mom's family name. I rest my case. Thank you for coming to my useless ted talk.
#i officially announce i have gone crazy#this is like my new hyperfixation until i find a better headcanon that is more likely to be canon#actually you should all thank me#i just made up a way for the haitanis to be useful for once in their lives#kinda#i mean we already established they bring absolutely nothing to the table#we don't have to go through that again#let's put it in a simple equation#tokrev plot - haitanis = no big difference#but Shio on the other hand is the main antagonist so far sooooo#in my logic by relation they are sort of useful in some way (through nepotism)#i saved the narrative you're welcome#also an addition no one asked for or thought about ran is their dad's favourite but loves his mom more#while Rindou is mama's boy (yk how moms prefer the youngest) but looks up to his dad#speaking of their mom i think she's like from another powerful family#and based on shio doing anything to gain more power that's probably why he married their mom in the first place#OMG ARRANGED MARRIAGE WITH SHIO IS INVADING MY HEAD AFTER I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A SPLIT SECOND#WRITERS IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS PLLLLSSSSSS#oh and apparently Shio is also in Roppongi so that's that.#i really took calling him daddy shio to a whole other level lol#tokyo revengers#ran haitani#rindou haitani#negai no astro#astro royale#haitani brothers#shio yotsurugi#i'm gonna call my new masterpiece of a shitty hc#the wakui multiverse of madness
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Hi! Drew this based over a scene in Santa Clarita Diet bc Abby's relationship with her parents is so funny but also it's clear that she loves them aaa
Anyways, every once in a while Cyrus realizes that his other dad is actually cooler than he gives him credit for sjdfksj
Under the cut are some more thoughts!
-Btw I hope you get the 'of course' wink sjdkfjs
>My mom always does it whenever I ask a question that could only use a 'yes' as an answer, instead of nodding or talking and I think it's cool sjkdf (I don't use it bc I'm very uncoordinated, imagine I accidentally double wink or do the frog blink 😭)
-Cyrus is often so mean to him that whenever he's genuinely nice, sometimes Ambrosius' suspicious and wondering if he's being sarcastic or mocking him, even if Cyrus tries to tell him that it's nothing of that and he means it
>Like that scene in Santa Clarita Diet where Abby compliments her parents and they stare for a few seconds all seriously and then one says, don't listen to her honey, we did great (and it reminded me so much of that one scene in the comic with Ballister and Ambrosius sjdkfjs)
>This one:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7c539d50df079dac986b8fb9f2a33c42/0f04c2a64034bd16-af/s540x810/c442803606622ec28432d528add47872e5a9b854.jpg)
>I really wanna redraw it like the scene in the show. Ballister going good job and Ambrosius just staring very calculating, and then going, don't listen to him, men, we DID get him >:(
-Also drew this because ever since Cyrus has been born Ambrosius couldn't help but feel that his son just knew that he wasn't a good person, the way he was always frowning at him (that's just his face, like Ballister's) and when he grows up, he seems to not like him much either pipipi
>Anyways one day (being a moody teenager) Cyrus says the typical I hate you, dad!!! D:< and locks himself in his room and Ambrosius' like, D':
>He's always mean too but that's just his teenager personality, sarcastic and stuff and Ballister doesn't take it personal because he knows his son is just like that (hopefully for the meanwhile, until he grows out of it), Ambrosius knows too but he's more sensitive and can't help taking it a bit personal 😔
-Also I got another idea for a small comic based over a kdrama I watched, where the daughter (the oldest of the two siblings) blamed herself over her dad leaving their family, and hated him for leaving too and many things, just very complicated.
>And aaa imagine Cyrus just never saying it but knowing that both of his dads' lives would've been different if he hadn't been born. Like maybe all of Ballister's plans to overthrow the Institute and stuff took longer, and some phases in his plan had to be put in hold because of him and stuff.
>Also for a while he feels like Ballister is bound to Ambrosius for life because of him (little did he know that those two would've been around each other their whole lives anyways, even if he never existed sjdkfs) then he realizes that they actually like and love each other, and then they try having something, or smth, and then he's like oh :) because seeing both of your parents loving each other and getting along is a very nice feeling (I've been told, idk from first-hand experience🧍 cries)
>Actually, I drew this unfinished thing about that, based over another scene in the kdrama I mentioned, where the daughter says, after being told that if her parents hadn't met, she wouldn't have been born, that it'd would've been for the better.
>I know the writing is terrible but Cyrus' complaining about Ambrosius and ending his rant with 'I wish they just hadn't met at all', and Nimona saying that she used to feel the same, but then realized that Cyrus wouldn't have been born, and Cyrus was supposed to say next, 'maybe that would've been better' and then Nimona doesn't answer and just stares at him wwhwh
-AND of course it's not Cyrus' fault that Ballister decided to have him, but he still has the feeling of having messed up his dad's life, and let's say that Ballister realizes for whatever reasons his feelings, connecting dots and stuff.
>So, imagine a conversation where he's saying very reassuringly, Meeting your father and later having you is one of the best things that had happened to me, or something like that. And Cyrus is resolutely not looking at him, but his eyes are getting teary, even if he feigns not acknowledging Ballister's words because how embarrassing, and how vulnerable he feels, but also he feels so relieved and loved too.
>And he doesn't know what to do with the feelings, also being a teenager with no feelings is his thing, y'know, so he's like, Just so you know, I'm not crying over what you said, I don't care about that, something just got in my eye- and Ballister just smiles because his son is terrible at communicating his feelings, but it's okay and he gets it, and just says, of course, let me get it out for you, and then he wipes Cyrus' tears and Cyrus gets a tad bit more teary but it's fine because his dad doesn't mind wiping some more tears wiwiiw
>(projecting so much into him bc when I watched that one scene in the show I cried bc I've felt the way the protagonist did (now I know better tho, I'm the coolest thing to happen to my mom yippiee) and it's a very ugly feeling, so of course I'm giving it to a character whwehw)
Anyways, that's it! I love them so much, I hope to make some more comics about the thingies I said above sjkdfd
#nimona#ambrosius goldenloin#goldenheart fankid#fankid#my art#I really should give Cyrus a tag but weh#Comic Cyrus you're so special to me#not coloring the walking cane was a conscious decision. trust. (I forgor about it)#fr I'm grabbing all my 'my mom could've had a better life if I hadn't started existing' and doubling it to the next person (Comic Cyrus)#this is what having oc's is about#I've got zero christmas art sowwy pipipi even tho I love christmas I couldn't find the time nor motivation to draw anything sjdfk#first time drawing Ambrosius with the aftermath of the fight with Nimona#I think I need to color differently his scars so they're more visible#considering that the claws dug in deeply wa I'll keep it in mind for next time
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