#my mom is the kind of person who watched some tiktoks and went 'i think i have ADHD lmao'
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autumnoakes · 8 months ago
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is there a way to explain to my "no excuse for laziness" family how executive dysfunction works? how autism and ADHD works? how they're not quirks or funny but often quite painful and distressing? (genuine questions)
i'm going to start crying if i have to talk with mom about my future one more time
(more of the rant in the tags. sorry)
#and yeah for the record we do have autistic/ADHD people#my mom is the kind of person who watched some tiktoks and went 'i think i have ADHD lmao'#and my aunt is the kind of person who thinks there's no such thing as an inability and that 'we're all a little autistic'#🙄 give me a break#i told my mom that i refuse to work fast food or retail ever again#(my exception is a quiet place like a small bookstore. not indigo)#and she worked fast food for over a decade and is like 'well i'd go back if i had to'#that's nice mom but i'm not you by a LONG SHOT#like. sorry but i was in so much mental and physical pain working customer/food service#and you think that you know when you actually don't know and don't even want to try and understand#honestly even if things DONT go according to plan as of yesterday i'm still gonna set a goal for myself#to get out of the house by next summer#because honestly fuck this shit i'm so mad and i grow more and more mad with each passing day#like yeah you respect my sensory difficulties but do you respect me when i can't do much more than lie on the couch on my phone?#you respect the fact that i'm autistic and have ADHD but do you understand what that means for me as the person with those disorders?#and not what people online who know AuDHDers say?#do you understand that there are in fact things i am unable to do and things that i used to be able to do but no longer can?#i'm so fed up and frustrated. legit started looking at apartments and jobs yesterday#(context: aunt is going to try and move to the US to be closer to her partner next year and mom and i can't stay in the house ourselves)#(so mom asked what my plans are and i told her it really depended on the next few months)#(but honestly i don't want to get that job. i want to finish my associate's and leave. i'm done.)#(and i want to move out of this house filled with people who respect me but refuse to try and understand it from my perspective)#vent#actually autistic#actually adhd
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anzulvr · 1 year ago
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Karma with a perfectionist mom-like reader (good grades, sweet, used to be class A yada yada) that pretends to be aloof and innocent but secretly has similar humour to Rio and Karma?
Like imagine reader saying "the things I'd let them do to me." With the most stoic, nonchalant face ever 💀 or them watching Karma beat a bully till they're back with God with a small supportive smile going, "You're doing great, darling! Take your time. 👍"
what’s up ty for request sorry this took forever😭!! This is my first time posting in a while and I still haven’t done all request :,).
— You’re the walking embodiment of the “I could accept him as he is- the atrocities are apart of him” tiktok audio.
— Before you joined E class, no one really knew you personally(except for Karma) so the first few days were pretty formal.
— That was until you got comfortable and your more outgoing side showed through.
— You went from sweet and quiet to making the most out of pocket jokes.
(does anyone say that anymore? idk!!)
— Even then, you’re still really kind and helpful, just not in the ways they’d really expect.
Someone needs tissues? You’ve got it.
Someone feels sleepy? They can rest on your shoulder!
Karma needs 12 ounces of Wasabi and Sriracha to torture a grown man with? You’ve got it.
Your classmates think you’re a bit too helpful.
— Yk how they call Karma a sadist all the time? They coin you with the masochist name to match.
(Couple goals???)
— E class can never guess what you’re next line is going to be.
“That should be me.” And it’s Karma dragging Nagisa in a fight.
— You praise Karma a lot. Like alottt.
(He needs to get the Validation somewhere)
It gets to his head too. (Korosensei needs to humble him again)
Karma will finish beating someone up and all you say is
“Karma you’re so talented!” Or “Karma you’re so strong!!”
(No ones even surprised anymore😭. They’re come to terms with it.)
Course there’s still lots of ways you and Karma differ.
Even if you’re able to be a more real version of yourself after leaving A class you’re still responsible!
So a lot of the times you keep Karma in check.
“Let’s skip.”
“No we can’t..! It’s against the rules and Korosensei would be-”
“Alright, alright I get it.”
— Karma beat money out from some delinquent? You hand out bandaids, unless they were really reallly shitty- in that case no bandaids.
— You get along with Rio so well, like cheese and toast, strawberry & vanilla, and whatever two other things go together!!
She’s so psyched when she finds out you and Karma are together because she can (lovingly?) embarrass the hell out of both of you.
— don’t worry though Karmas already got a great plan to get back at her, and you’ve probably got everything he needs in that bag of yours.
<3 again sorry this took like forever, and sorry to everyone who I haven’t replied to yet :(!! Ik it’s been super long.
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girlokwhatever · 7 months ago
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omg would love if you could do famous!reader x paige hcs!!!
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paige bueckers x famous!reader hcs
‧₊♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧₊˚ෆ paige with a famous gf,,
— you met paige on social media
- she’s literally your biggest fan
- you posted a video with the caption: ‘when she’s blonde and tall and plays basketball’ and it went VIRALLL (everyone tagged her)
— she ending up reaching out to you and the rest is history
— before you started dating she would always repost your videos or pictures whenever you posted
— you kind of dabble in everything (singing, acting, modeling, etc.) and she really respects that about you
- she calls it your ‘hustle’
— you were honestly a fan of hers too, all her tiktoks and edits would be on your feed
— no one even asks who her celeb crush is anymore cause she always says you (lowkey always has)
— you both hard launch each other
— paige loves your music (i’m imagining r&b but you do you boo) and will play it for everyone in any place at any time
- at church?? doesn’t matter: “have you heard my girlfriend’s new song?”
— you took her to her first ever premiere as your plus one
- had way too much fun together during the interviews
— you have to media train her because one time she leaked your new song on kk’s live
— everyone she knows will ask for her to get them an autograph
— her mom is a massive fan and kinda freaks out when she meets you (paige is embarrassed but you think it’s sweet)
— has watched every single film/show you’re in and saves every magazine cover you’re on
— defo gets a little jealous if you have to kiss someone else on screen
- you have to tell her beforehand so she can mentally prepare
— sometimes she’ll get insecure if the media ships you with someone else, but they rarely do it cause everyone knows the two of you are locked in
— she’s absorbed all your fans into her cult
— sometimes she’ll troll everyone and make up the craziest lie/rumor and watch everyone post about it
- “guys we got married last may”
— at first your demanding schedule was a bit of a problem cause you hardly ever saw each other
- you prioritize her more now, but there’s still sometimes where you’ll have to go months without being in-person together (you both have mental breakdowns)
— she always listens when you tell her celeb drama (she’s so into it)
- you make her promise she won’t tell anyone
— you’ve definitely made some songs about her
- they always make her cry cause they’re so beautiful and sweet
— paparazzi anytime the two of you go out (they do catch some cute candid pics though)
— she’ll be at EVERY award show to cheer you on, no doubt
— you get her free tickets to concerts cause of connections
— saves every edit she sees of you (movie scenes, media moments, concerts, you name it)
— sometimes you ask her for inspiration (she’s your muse fr)
— when you see each other again for the first time in awhile… be prepared. she’s bombarding you with kisses, smothering you with hugs, and never lets you leave her bed
— will cry if you ever have to do a sex scene (she prays it never happens)
— she makes sure EVERYONE knows you’re dating.
- she’ll wear shirts with your face on them
— will post the craziest off-guard and bts pictures of you and the fans go craazzzyy
— “so.. how does your next movie end? is it like-“
- “i’m not telling you so don’t even try.”
₊˚ෆ.ೃ࿐༉‧₊˚.𐙚⋆⭒˚。⋆
i feel like maybe i ate this down????!
i had so many ideas for this request you guys
hope you enjoyed!! 😋
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i-am-baechu · 9 months ago
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♡ Summary: Y/N is just an average student at Seoul University but what she doesn’t know is that the person she’s been watching YouTube videos, streams, and having a crush on is the university heartthrob!
♡ Pairing: Gamer! Heartthrob! Jungkook x reader 
♡ Rating: Explicit (18+) 
♡ Genre: Fluff, romance, smut, enemies to lovers, secret identity, fan girl, pride and prejudice inspired kind of and angst 
♡ Part of the The Legendary Seven
♡ Author's note: I think this might be a mini-series! I was also sick :( so sorry for the lack of response/posting!
“Did you see Jungkook!?”
“Of course I did! He was on the Calvin Klein TikTok page. He knew what he was doing.”
L/N Y/N raised her eyebrow at the two girls and continued her way to her class through the hall. She knew Jungkook was popular and it did help that his whole family was practically famous but to be a Calvin Klein model? That’s wild. 
Y/N is a middle-class student who entered Seoul University with a scholarship known as the Kim Family Scholarship. The brightest and the most talented are selected from all the schools in Korea. She wasn’t at the top of her classes nor did she play any instrument. She was just a simple person, so you can imagine her shocked face when she got it. 
Even now Y/N wasn’t spectacular. She got good grades but there was always someone else doing better. She participated in some sports but she wouldn’t call herself an athlete. She would never become one of the elite students and she was okay with that. Too much pressure.
Jeon Jungkook was the opposite of her. One of the top students (ranking in the legendary seven) and the top athlete, he was the guy that everyone wanted and hated. Yes, he was handsome and intelligent but Y/N didn’t really care about that, he was incredibly rude and selfish. She watched him break up with so many girls and had so many rendezvous around the campus that she wondered if any place was clean. A headache really.
She opened the door to her class and smiled when she saw her friend, Lee Taeyong, waiting for her at the back. Taeyong has been her friend since she was in diapers. They’ve been through everything, Y/N’s first period, Taeyong's ankle surgery, and first heart breaks. Best friends forever.
“Tae!” 
He looked up from his notebook and waved at her, “Y/N.”
She ran towards him unaware of the whispers amongst a certain group of people. She went through her bag and handed him a breakfast sandwich, “Mom made breakfast for us. I also have orange juice.”
Taeyong  pushed his glasses and smiled, “Thanks, my mom was wondering if you were coming over tonight?”
She happily nodded and sat down next to him, “of course I am.”
They continued to talk as Jungkook watched with his full attention. Taehyung let out a small laugh and playfully slapped his shoulder, “Why are you staring at Y/N?”
Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and looked at him, “She doesn’t belong here.”
“Dude, why are you always on her? She doesn’t even speak to you.”
“She doesn’t take school seriously-”
Namjoon sighed and closed his book, “She passed every test in all her subjects. What more do you want for her?” 
“Not to be her.”
After class, Y/N and Taeyong made their way to the cafeteria. All the students were talking about the legendary seven but all Y/N wanted was her ramen.
The legendary seven, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and shit head (Jeon Jungkook). The top students and the wealthiest, they always mean trouble. She never understood how everyone can talk about them when they have their own problems. She didn’t see a point, she would never have a conversation with them so why would she talk about them? There’s nothing she could add to the conversation. 
Taeyong handed her chopsticks and she smiled, “I’m so excited. I love their ramen.”
“You do know it’s just a convenience store ramen.”
“But it’s free.”
She bowed her head at the worker and happily looked at her ramen making Taeyong laugh, “I want my kimchi fried rice.”
“Share half?”
“If you share half of your ramen.”
“Okay!~.”
The group entered and Jungkook sneered at Y/N who was eating her ramen cheerfully. He glanced at Taeyong who whipped her mouth and he scoffed. Jimin raised his eyebrow and looked at what he was looking at, “what now?”
“Nothing.”
Y/N looked up and saw Jungkook looking at her. She raised her eyebrow and looked behind her to see if there was someone else, but nothing. She looked back and saw Jungkook talking to his friends. She blinked her eyes a couple of times but she just shrugged her shoulders.
“Y/N!~” 
She waved her hand when she saw Kim Yerim running towards her. Yerim or Yeri to her close friends, was Y/N’s other best friend. Yeri met Y/N during high school by accident. Yeri wanted the same drink that Y/N had but sadly it was the last one. Y/N being Y/N bought the drink and gave it to her. Since then, Yeri has been with Y/N. 
Yeri was one of the wealthier students at school. She wasn’t as wealthy as Jungkook but she was wealthy enough to have a good future. Yeri would always make sure Y/N would have new clothes and bags so no one picked on her. Yeri would always defend Y/N against the others, it was sweet but she could take care of herself. 
“Yerrrriii~”
Yeri sat in front of Y/N with her tray, “Did you see the video?”
“Did Kook upload? Did I miss it?”
Yeri let out a small laugh and took her phone, “This is why you should have notifications on for him.” 
She rolled her eyes and saw that he was playing Lethal Company. She smiled to herself and watched for a few seconds before pushing Yeri’s hand, “I need to watch it when I go home.”  
 Taeyong let out a small chuckle, “Don’t you have homework?”
“I can watch and do it…” 
“Not if you get distracted with his voice.”
“Yeriii, leave me alone.” 
Kook is a famous YouTuber/streamer. He had millions of followers and it wasn’t just because he was good at games. So many love him because of his comedy and just his personality in general. Y/N came across him by accident one day and his voice caught her. It was clear that he changed his voice slightly but it still gave her butterflies.
“I was wondering, would you come to a party with me? It’s next week.”
Y/N brother her chopsticks down and raised her eyebrow, "Who's the host?”
“Jimin.”
Y/N scoffed and shook her head, “I don’t want to be there with them. All they do is stare at me and make me feel unwanted here. It’s weird.”
“Really? They're usually really kind…well except Jungkook.”
“Don’t get me started on that shithead. Always glaring at me, what does he have against me? I literally have never talked to him. It’s annoying.” 
Taeyong rubbed her shoulder gently, “don’t get worked up over him. He’s not worth it.”
“I know…it’s just annoying.”
Yeri glanced at Jungkook and the others with a nod, “I would be annoyed. I won’t go then, they don’t deserve our presence.” 
“Irene is having a party. She invited me, we can go to that one.”
Taeyong's eyes lightened up at this and looked at Y/N, “Why didn’t you tell me this!?”
“Because…I wanted it to be a surprise.”
Yeri let out a laugh and pointed her chopsticks at him, “He just wants to see Seulgi.”
“So-So what.”
“It's cute, Tae.” 
Jungkook was on his phone until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Rosé looking at him with a smile. He raised his eyebrow and put his phone down, “What do you want?”
“Is that how you treat your girlfriend?”
“Ex-girlfriend. Now what do you want?”
Rosé sighed and leaned back on the bench, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend.”
Jungkook let out a laugh, he couldn’t believe what he just heard, “For fucking what?”
“Tonight, I’m going to my cousin's dinner.”
“Why me?”
“Because I told my aunt we were dating and if she finds out I broke up with you she will be sad. I hate seeing her sad.” 
Jungkook turned his attention to her and crossed his arms over his chest, “First of all, I broke up with you. Second of all, since when are you nice?”
Rosé rolled her eyes and stood up from the table, “Can you just do this for me?”
“Fine. Only once.” 
“Trust me, it’s only going to be once. I can’t stand you.”
Jungkook let out a snicker and nodded his head, “Right back at you, cheater.”
“It’s your fault I cheated on you. You treated me like shit, what did you expect?”
“I treated you like shit? I gave you everything Rosé-”
“If you guys are gonna fight, can you do it outside?”
Jungkook turned to see Yoongi giving him a stern look, making him sigh. He turned to Rosé with an irritated look, “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Ditto.”
Jungkook glared at her until she was out of sight. He turned back and Jin shook his head, “How did you date that?”
“It was a fling…”
Taehyung shook his head and finished off his kimchi, “No you liked her, a lot. Why didn’t you tell us she cheated?”
“It wasn’t worth talking about it…I just didn’t want to talk about her.” 
Jimin nodded his head and gave him a soft smile, “At least you're not together.”
“Yeah…” he glanced at Y/N who was now talking to Jaehyun. His eyes widened to see his friend talking to her. They looked like they were having a good conversation because they kept laughing. Jungkook looked back at Hoseok, “When did they become friends?”
Hoseok glanced at Y/N and then back at Jungkook, “I know Jae has been talking to her since high school.” 
“High school?”
“Yeah, they were friends because of Taeyong. Why?”
“Just wondering.”
“Jae, can you tell your friend to stop staring at me? It’s annoying.”
Jaehyun turned around and saw Jungkook looking at them. He waved at him and looked back at Y/N, “He’s just weird like that.”
“Eh, are we playing tonight?”
“Yeah, after dinner at Tae’s?”
“Yes sir.”
“See you tonight.”
Y/N watched him leave and she looked back to Yeri who had a smirk, “What?”
“When are you going to fuck him?”
Y/N’s turned into disgust and shook her head, “You're crazy.”  
.*・。゚☆゚.*・。゚
“Tae, you didn’t tell me your cousin is coming.” 
Y/N let out a loud groan as she dropped on Taeyong’s bed. He sighed and put his book back on his shelf, “Mom just told me she was coming and apparently she's coming with her boyfriend.” 
“She has a boyfriend? I didn’t know that was possible for her.” 
Taeyong let out a laugh and shook his head, “People can change.” 
“I bet he was rich. You know the richer they are, the more likely they want a girl on their arm.” 
Footsteps were coming up the stairs and Y/N to see Taeyong’s mom looking at her with a smile, “Y/N, did you hear who’s coming?” 
Y/N sat up and nodded her head, “Rosé and her boyfriend.” 
Mrs. Lee nodded her head and clapped her hands excitedly, “I’m so happy she found someone.” 
Taeyong nodded his head and sat in his computer chair, “I’m sure he treats her right.” 
“She told me that he’s from a wealthy family.” 
Y/N glanced at Taeyong giving him a “I told you so” look. She looked at Mrs. Lee, nodding her head with a small smirk, “That’s good for her future. I’m sure she’ll have everything figured out.” 
“I sure hope so. Come down and get ready for dinner.” 
They watched the older woman leave the room with a skip in her step and Y/N looked at Taeyong with a frown, “Rosé...didn’t she break up with her boyfriend.”
Taeyong nodded his head and rubbed his forehead, “Knowing Rosé, she has a scheme.”
Y/N shook her head and looked at the ceiling with a frown, “Your mom doesn’t deserve lies.” 
“Trust me, I know. Let’s go and keep her happy.” 
They made their way downstairs but Y/N stopped in the middle when she met with familiar brown eyes. Jungkook looked at her with surprised eyes and they continued to stare at each other but neither of them said a word. He hated her for whatever reason and she hated him for being a shithead. What’s there to say? She glanced down and saw Rosé holding his hand, so this is the boyfriend. She continued to walk down the stairs and walked past Jungkook who continued to stare at her. 
Jungkook was surprised to see her but he didn’t know why, she was always around Taeyong. Tonight seemed different with her appearance. She looked more elegant with her hair down (she only ever wore ponytails or buns to school) and had a black dress on. She was more poised, something that surprised him. He watched her lean towards Taeyong and they both let out a quiet laugh. He wondered if she would ever laugh with him. He shook his head and glanced at Rosé, “Aunty, this is my boyfriend, Jungkook.” 
Y/N bit her lip from laughing because it was clear that he was uncomfortable. With the way he visibly stiffened at her touch, he didn’t want to be here. Y/N glanced at Jungkook who was looking at Mrs. Lee. She rolled her eyes and turned to walk towards the kitchen with Taeyong next to her, He probably made her think he liked her and wasn’t expecting to get this far with her. How typical of him. 
Jungkook watched the two leave but he couldn’t help but feel judged by them. Every time Y/N looked at him she would lean towards Taeyong. How could she be judgemental? She’s not the same status, why would she judge him? It should be the opposite, that’s what his mother always taught him. “Judge those who are lower than you and question why they are so low? The answer is they don’t have a good work ethic.” 
When Mrs. Lee turned to walk towards the kitchen, Jungkook ripped his hand out of Rosé’s hand, “I told you don’t touch me.”
“That’s not what you were saying before. My aunty looked happy, that’s good.” The two walked towards the rest of them and Rosé glanced at Jungkook, “Also, stop staring at Y/N. I know she’s pretty but now is not the time.”
Jungkook scoffed and glanced at Y/N and then at Rosé, “What?” 
“Y/N, she’s pretty.”
“Anyone can be pretty but not everybody can be beautiful.” 
Rosé raised her eyebrow and grabbed Jungkook’s hand as she looked up at him, “Are you saying she's pretty?” 
“Let’s sit.” 
Y/N sat next to Taeyong as she ate her chicken. She glared at Jungkook, if people wanted to talk amongst themselves they should do quieter, “Anyone can be pretty.” Who is he? The mirror from Snow White. She wishes he was because then she could just break the glass and be done with it. She stopped listening after that part, if she continued to listen to him she would lose more brain cells. Her phone vibrated in her dress pocket and when no one was paying attention, she brought out her phone. 
Did you see it? Kook is hosting a special event! All you have to do is comment on his post and send him a DM and the lucky winner gets to play with him! 
Y/N’s eyes widened and she tapped Taeyong’s thigh. He looked at her with a curious look and she glanced down. Taeyong eyes landed on the message and he looked back at her, “Are you going to do it”
“Of course I am. This is the only chance I get to speak to him.” 
“I hope you win then.”
“Don’t tell Yeri that.” 
Jungkook was annoyed that Rosé kept touching him but he knew had to be an actor tonight. He smiled at Mrs. Lee who placed more rice on his plate, “Rosé told me that you guys met at the library. That’s really sweet.” 
Lie. They met during a party and he fucked her in a bathroom. Not sweet but he knew Rosé was a good liar. He looked at Mrs. Lee and nodded his head, “She couldn’t reach for a book, I was there to help her.” 
Y/N let out a small laugh and glanced at Taeyong, “He really sucks at lying.” 
“Don’t ruin our show.” 
“You are tall, do you play basketball?”
Jungkook nodded his head and rubbed the back of his neck, “I play basketball, soccer, and baseball.” 
“Oh, wow. All-rounder, good pick Rosé.” 
“Thank you, Aunty.” 
After dinner, Y/N was the first to leave. She was walking out when she saw Jungkook and Rosé come out of the side door. Her eyes widened and she hid in a bush, curiosity was going to kill the cat tonight. 
“Thanks, Jungkook.”
Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and pulled her hand out of his, “No problem. Now what do I get out of this?” 
Rosé sighed and rolled her eyes, “What do you want?”
“I want you to leave me alone.”
Rosé let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “Don’t ask me twice. After how you treated me.” 
Y/N nodded her head and looked at Jungkook, I knew it.
Jungkook scoffed, “You can continue thinking that. I have to go home.” Jungkook turned around and started walking towards his car but stopped when he heard, “Don’t forget what I said about Y/N.”
Jungkook glanced at Rosé and glared at her, “It’s my life. Stay out of it.” 
“Anyone can become beautiful if you give them the chance too.” 
Jungkook unlocked his car and got into it. Y/N watched him drive away and she raised her eyebrow, What the hell was that about? 
Yeri and Y/N sat on Taeyong’s bed with nervous looks. Y/N glanced at her phone and then at Yeri, “You do it first.” 
Yeri shook her head and pointed at Y/N, “You’ve been his fan longer. You do it first.” 
Taeyong rolled his eyes and turned towards them with his book in his lap now, “Just do it. The worst thing that can happen is that he doesn’t respond.” 
“Don’t say that because that means it's going to happen!” 
Y/N sighed but her phone vibrated and she raised her eyebrow, “Jaehyun?” She opened her messages and she smiled to herself. 
You cheated last night, I want a rematch 
It’s not my fault you're a loser! ;p 
I’m the one that showed you the game >:( 
Fine, rematch tonight 
I’ll win this time!!! 
“Are you texting Jaehyun?”
Y/N looked over her phone and nodded her head at Yeri, “Stop with that look. We’re friends.” 
“You can be so much more.”
“Taeyong, can you-”
“No, Y/N. You do it.” 
Y/N sighed and clicked on Kook’s Instagram. He doesn’t really post and when he does it’s just his computer setup or even just his day. There were no pictures of himself but Y/N knows he’s handsome, he has to be. With the way he laughs in his streams and how he goes to cafes, he’s literally the perfect guy for her. 
She sighed and looked up at Yeri, “I’m going to do it.” 
“You're bluffing!” 
“No, I’m doing it. Let’s get it over with.” Y/N clicked on the most recent picture and liked it (something she doesn’t do because it makes her feel shy). Then she clicked the small bubble sending a message, “Event...sorry this is so awkward. Thank you for posting, it makes me happy : ) .” 
Y/N tossed her phone and hid her face in her hands, “I did it! But omg I feel like I’m going to get sick. Yeri you do it.” 
“Oh, I did it yesterday.” 
Y/N removed her hands and glared at her, “We were supposed to do it together!” 
“I lied.” 
Jungkook was in his gamer room and was staring at his DM’s. It wasn’t until his eyes landed on a familiar face. He felt weird but he clicked on her profile ignoring his heart beating faster. “Y/N_Cupcake. How interesting.” He went through her profile and he felt a smile appear but he quickly shook his head. Stop feeling that way towards her. 
Y/N went to get a book from the Library when she heard snickers behind her. She turned her head to see it was Jessica and her goons. They would always bully the scholarship kids because why not? They were sad and just looking for an outlet. She rolled her eyes and continued making her way to the tall building. She ignored the footsteps but couldn’t anymore when one of them grabbed her backpack, pulling her back. 
“Going to the library because you can’t afford the books.” 
“We can easily get the books, makes things easier.”
Y/N nodded her head and gave them a blank look, “I’m sure it does. Having access to books makes things easier, what a privilege you have.” 
Jessica raised her eyebrow and poked at Y/N’s shoulder harshly, “Are you pestering me?” 
“I’m simply agreeing with you. That’s what you want, right? For me to know that you're richer and how I’m beneath you. I’m giving you the attention that is clear you are craving for.” 
“What did-”
“Jessica, at least she knows how to read. You should read the books you can easily buy.” 
Y/N looked over Jessica’s shoulder and she raised her eyebrow to see Jungkook. He stood there in his simple black shirt and his tattoos on full display. She glanced at Jessica and pushed her finger away, “Now, I have to go read. I hope you enjoy the books that you can purchase while I have to go to the dusty library. Oh, I hope there’s someone to save me from the dust.” 
Y/N turned around and started walking away as Jungkook couldn’t help himself to let out a small chuckle. Jungkook looked at Jessica and smirked, “You heard her, she needs someone to save her.” 
He walked past the girls leaving Jessica in shock. She turned towards her friends with a shocked face, “Is Jungkook dating her!?” 
“I’m not sure, the last I heard he was dating Rosé.”
“She's a homewrecker then. Girls, we have a busy day ahead of us.” 
Y/N heard footsteps and turned around with an annoyed look expecting to see Jessica but it turned to confusion, “Jungkook? Are you following me?” 
“I-I wouldn’t say following you.” 
“Then what do you call this? I have never seen you in the library but today of all days you're going.” 
Jungkook nodded his head and put his hands in his pocket, “It’s quiet.”
“Especially when you're alone.” 
“Yes, I agree.” 
She glanced to the side and gave him a small smirk, “Even those who aren’t beautiful would agree with you.” Jungkook's face fell as she let out a small laugh and she turned around but before she left his sight she glanced at him over her shoulder, “When you're talking about someone and they're in the room, next time, be quieter.” 
Y/N continued to walk and she smiled to herself when she heard no footsteps behind her. She continued to walk away as Jungkook watched her leave his sight. He let out a laugh and shook his head, “Full of surprises...” 
Y/N entered the library and she waved at Jaehyun. She happily walked up to him and glanced at all the books, “Big test coming up?” 
“It’s all for biology.”
She looked between the books and at him with a confused look, “I thought you owned these books already? Why are you at the library?” 
“To have the chance to be in your presence.” 
She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “Shut up. Did your brother take them?” 
“Yeah, so here I am. What are you here for?” 
“I need to do some research for my literature class.” 
“Boring.”
Y/N glanced out the window and she watched Jungkook talking to Taehynug. She looked back at Jaehyun with an interested look, “Your friends with Jungkook?” 
“I wouldn’t say friends...acquaintances really.”
She raised her eyebrow at this, “Acquaintances? You're a good guy, how could anyone be acquainted with you?” 
Jaehyun let out a small laugh, “He just doesn’t like me because I was talking to Rosé.”
“Talking?”
“I had a project with Rosé and he didn’t like that I was talking to her. He even punched me.” 
Y/N scoffed at this and shook her head, “He punched you for trying to do homework. How...actually it's exactly how I pictured him to be.” 
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders and let out a laugh, “It’s nothing really. Can I sit with you?”
“As long as you know the ques to talk to me, then yes.”
“Thank god I do then.” 
.*・。゚☆゚.*・。゚
Parties, it wasn’t Y/N’s favorite thing in the world but it did help her get out of the house and out of work. Of course, she loved helping her parents make fried rice but sometimes you just want to get drunk. She smiled at Irene who returned one, Irene was the pretty senior that all the girls wanted to date. Y/N can see why, she was kind and awkward. Adorable. 
Y/N sat on the couch with Taeyong who was drinking his heart out. She frowned at this and rubbed his knee, “I’m sure she's coming. Just be patient.” 
“It’s been too long.”
“Tae, it’s literally been thirty minutes. She’s coming, be patient.” 
Taeyong frowned at her and glanced at her, “Be nice to me.” 
“I am, I’m reassuring you. Liquid courage can help you.” 
Y/N smiled at him and stood up from the couch to get some water. As she made her way, Yeri grabbed her arm, “Did you hear?” 
“What is it?” 
“Jessica has been running her mouth about you.”
Y/N raised her eyebrow and let out a snicker, “About what? My boring life is exciting for her?” 
“It’s not boring. It’s comfortable. She’s saying that you're a homewrecker but she won’t say who the couple is.” 
“Do people believe her? The only man I’ve been around is Taeyong and everyone knows he’s in love with Seulgi…we’ll expect for Seulgi.”
Yeri let out a laugh as Y/N smiled but it dropped when she saw who was in front of her. She glanced at Yeri but Yeri didn’t dare to look at her, “Jungkook? I thought you would be at Jimin’s.” 
Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and looked at Y/N, “I was at Jimin’s but I wanted to come by. Irene asked me to visit her more, so here I am.” 
Y/N nodded her head at him with a blank look, “Here you are.” 
“Y/N, would you like a drink?” 
Y/N glanced at Yeri who shrugged her shoulders. Y/N looked back at Jungkook but kept her blank stare, “Sure. I was already making my way there until you stopped me.” 
“I’m sorry for stopping you. Yeri are coming?”
Yeri shook her head and let go of Y/N, “I’m going to check on Taeyong. Bye~.” 
Y/N waved at Yeri and then looked back at Jungkook, “Irene has had four parties this month but you come today. Are you sure you're not following me?” 
“Would you be flatter?”
“The opposite...let’s get a drink.” 
They walked through the crowd of people and Junkook placed his hand behind her back. She glanced at him over her shoulder but he kept looking straight. She didn’t push his hand away and she didn’t know why she didn’t. It was quiet between the two and she sighed to herself, “No small talk?” 
“What is there to talk about?” 
“I don’t know. You're the one that invited me to get a drink, shouldn’t you make small talk.” 
Jungkook handed her a cup of water and shrugged his shoulders, “What do you want to talk about?” 
“You can talk about the test we had in math or even lunch. Something.” 
“The math test was easy.” 
“It was.”
Y/N took a sip as Jungkook did the same, “Y/N, I saw you talking to Jaehyun.”
She raised her eyebrow and nodded her head, “Yes, I talk to him once in a while. Why does that bother you?”
“Jaehyun, be careful of him.”
Y/N let out a scoff and took a sip of her water, “Be careful? Shouldn’t I be careful of you?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Jaehyun told me. He told me you punched him for talking to Rosé all because he wanted to do his project.” 
Jungkook raised his eyebrow and turned his whole body towards her. She looked up at him and felt like he was a tower next to her, “And you believe that?” 
“I have no reason not to. Jae would never lie to me.”
Jungkook leaned down until his nose touched hers, “There’s always more to the story. Don’t believe just one side.” 
She looked at his lip ring and then at his brown eyes, “Then tell the other side.” 
“Jungkook! Are you ready!?” 
They turned their heads to see Jimin looking at them with a raised eyebrow. Jungkook let out a small cough and gave her a look that Y/N couldn’t read, “You already passed judgment before knowing my side. Isn’t that wrong of you?” 
“It’s really hard not to when I know your character.” 
“Do you really know me?” 
Y/N’s face dropped and she looked away from his stare, “I know enough.” 
“Goodbye, Y/N.”
“Bye.” 
She felt him leave but she couldn’t rip her eyes off the white wall. She felt embarrassed to be called out like that. He was right but he makes it really hard to be nice. She glanced where he walked off towards her and saw his eyes were already on hers. She didn’t look away from his intense stare, instead, she encouraged it. 
It’s been a week since Jungkook talked to her and she was feeling uneasy. She hasn’t been talking to Jaehyun and her thoughts have been replaying. “Do you really know me?” He seemed hurt by her assumptions and she was surprised to see it. He was rude to a lot of people but here he was, hurt by her words. Who is she to hurt the rich and powerful Jungkook? It actually made her sick that she was called out for her actions. Ashamed...
Y/N shut off the stove and walked out in the front room of her parents' restaurant. She saw her mother reading a letter and she squinted her eyes, “Omma? What is that?” 
“It’s from the landlord...they want us to close the restaurant.” 
Y/N’s eyes widened and she shook her head, “What? We’ve been paying every month. How can-”
“Someone wants to buy the restaurant...Appa doesn’t have the money to outbid them.”
Y/N frowned and sat next to her mother, “We’ll figure this out. We always figure it out.” 
She heard the door open and she saw Jungkook standing there with his usual outfit. She glanced at her mother and kissed the side of her head. She stood up and went to greet him with a fake smile, “Welcome-”
“Y/N, I want to talk to you.” 
She glanced at her mother and then back at him, “Now is not the time...”
“It’s important.” 
“Jungkook-”
“Did you say Jungkook? As in Jeon Jungkook?”
Y/N turned around and nodded her head at her mother, “Yes, omma-”
“Why do you want this restaurant?”
Y/N's face broke and she turned her head slowly at him, “You're buying our restaurant?” 
Jungkook looked at Y/N and shook his head, “I-I had no idea it was yours.”
Y/N let out a forced laugh and shook her head, “You're so rich that you want to buy everything in Korea. Out of everything, you buy my home. Do you hate me so much? What have I done to you? Is this payback because I’m friendly with Jae?” 
“Y/N-”
“No...I don’t want to hear it from you. Actually, I don’t ever want to hear from you again. This whole time I felt ashamed for making judgments on you but they were all right. You are selfish, prideful, and just....I can’t even put into words how much I hate you right now. Get out.”
“Y/N, please listen-”
“Out. Now.” Jungkook nodded his head and took one final glance at Y/N before closing the door. She glared at the glass and shook her head, “Of course it was him...” 
She ran into her room and shut her door. Here she was feeling bad for Jungkook, what an idiot. She fell into her bed and turned on her phone to watch one of Kook’s videos, at least then she would be entertained and not sad. Anything to forget today. 
Jungkook slammed the door making Jin look up in worry, “Is everything okay?”
“My dad's buying Y/N restaurant…”
Yoongi raised his eyebrow and glanced at Jimin who shrugged his shoulders. He looked back at Jungkook with a confused look, “Why does it matter to you?”
“Because she hates me…I can’t have her hate me. Not her. Anyone but… her.”
Namjoon stood up and walked towards Jungkook. He placed his hand on his shoulder, “You need to be honest with her and with yourself.”
“Hyung, she hates me…it doesn’t matter how I feel.”
Hoseok stood up and gave him a soft smile, “Yes it does. You can still fix this.”
Jungkook looked at Hoseok and then back at Namjoon, “You’re right. I can fix this.” 
.*・。゚☆゚.*・。
“Y/N, I’m sorry for spreading these rumors.” 
Y/N looked at Taeyong who shrugged his shoulders. Y/N was in the library studying with Taeyong when Jessica came to her. Y/N was ready to fight back with whatever she had but it was the opposite, “Thank you?”
Jessica nodded her head and walked out leaving Y/N confused. She glanced down at the table and was confused. She looked at Taeyong with furrowed eyebrows, “Do you think she’s dying?” 
“Y/N, what?” 
“Well, why else would she apologize?” 
“Maybe she felt bad.”
Y/N let out a small chuckle and shook her head, “I don’t think so...It’s Jessica.” 
“That is true but maybe she saw her wrongs.” 
“Did you see Jungkook?”
“Of course I did...He looks so good at practice.” 
Y/N rolled her eyes and harshly closed her book, “He gets praised for being an asshole while I get my house stolen because of his selfish desires.” 
“Y/N, I’m sure everything has a reason.”
“Reason or not, he’s still an asshole. I have to go, your cousin wants me to go to a museum with her.” 
Taeyong raised his eyebrow and leaned back in his chair, “A museum? With Rosé?” 
“I was surprised too but she said she’ll pay for it and that caught my attention.” 
“What is she planning?” 
“I’ll go find out. I’ll text you later.” 
The museum had a special exhibit for the students. She had never been to this museum but since someone else was paying for it, it was time to get cultured. She saw Rosé looking at a piece of art and she awkwardly walked up to her. Rosé turned around and gave her a smile, “Y/N, you're early.” 
“I had to catch the bus, better early than late with city transportation.” 
Rosé let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “Well, let’s go look around.”
“Sure.” 
They entered the student pieces and Y/N tried her best to focus on the art. It was awkward with Rosé, there was something in the air and she couldn’t decipher what it was. It made her feel nervous and she hated feeling that. She landed on a picture, it was a silhouette of a woman reading in the sunlight with flowers all around. Even though you couldn’t see her face, you could see that she was relaxed and happy. She glanced down to see the name and her eyes widened a bit, In My Dreams by Jeon Jungkook. 
“He knows how to capture a moment doesn’t he...” 
She glanced at Rosé and then back at the picture, “You look relaxed.”
“That’s not me. Can you really not tell who that is?” 
Y/N looked at Rosé and shook her head, “It’s a silhouette. How am I supposed to know?” 
Rosé let out a laugh and shook her head, “It should be called mirror now that you're here.” 
Y/N looked at the picture and she tilted her head, “That can’t be me...Why is your boyfriend taking a picture of me? Is he a pervert?” 
Rosé sighed and glanced at the picture with a small smile, “He took this picture when we broke up...he was looking for his muse and there was you. Reading with the sunlight, it was perfect.” 
“Rosé, why am I here?” 
“Jae isn’t all good...”
Y/N scoffed and looked at Rosé with an annoyed look, “Did Jungkook put you up to this?” 
“No, I saw Jae talking to you and I was worried.” 
“Worried?” 
“Y/N, I cheated on Jungkook with Jae...he promised to love me and only me but Jae left me...”
Y/N frowned at this, “Does that mean Jungkook cheated on you?”
“In a way...there was always one person on his mind. It was never me, I should’ve known but I wanted to hope he could change for me.” 
“That’s horrible of him to do.” 
Rosé let out a laugh and nodded her head, “It is. You want to know who the person was?” 
“It could be Nora, I know she-”
“It was you.” 
Y/N stared at Rosé with a shocked face and then she started laughing, shaking her head, “Probably because he hates me.” 
“The opposite...your scholarship. It’s special you know and Taehyung’s family hands them out.” 
“Yes...why are you bringing this up?” 
“Jungkook read your essay for the scholarship and I think that’s when he fell in love with you.”
“Jungkook, can you read this half?”
Jungkook sighed and leaned back in his chair with an annoyed look. For five hours he’s been helping Taehyung go through these essays. Some were good and some were, and some were funny. He only agreed because he didn’t want to help his dad with paperwork for his work. 
“How much can I read?” 
Taehyung sighed and gave him one essay, “Fine, read this one and you can take a break.”
“Can I play on your computer?”
“I just got it-”
“I can always leave.”
“Fine. Don’t break it or I’ll get yelled at.” 
Jungkook smiled in triumph and took the paper out of his hand. He looked at the paper and saw the name L/N Y/N. Every essay was different, the person could write whatever they wanted. It could be a poem, a story, etc. It just had to showcase how the person’s brain worked. He didn’t think much because so far all the essays were around pages long about their lives and struggles. He wasn’t expecting a poem.
A galaxy with no stars, a map with no direction 
Just a traveler trying to find its safe haven 
“Seek and ye shall find” 
But they never say what will find you
I used to drift away 
Never wanted to stay 
The world was too big for me
But too small for my thoughts 
If I was quiet, I could disappear 
Vanishing from the pain 
Anything to get away 
I hate the lack of control 
But I’m the one to blame 
This nightmare has consumed me 
Everything seems so real 
Even that look in your eyes 
Another day with a new dream 
Steps to enlightenment brightens the way 
But the steps are steep 
Take them one at a time 
If fear paralyzes me then hope is gone  
And this nightmare wins 
There was something with the way the words flowed and it was like he could hear her voice. She was different from all the other essays and he understood how she felt in her poem. He kept rereading the poem and he smiled to himself, it would be dumb to let her go, “I found one.”
“Rosé...why-”
“Jungkook, he tries to be an ass to push people away because he’s scared to lose them. Jae knows this, he likes to toy with him because of it.”
Y/N glanced at the picture and frowned, “I thought they were friends.”
“They were...but Jae knew how to get what he wanted from Jungkook.” Rosé turned towards the picture and frowned, “I knew he was in love with you but I just craved for something...anything really. Jae promised me he would love me and I cheated on Jungkook. I broke him because he trusted me with his secrets and I broke it.”
“Jae...he knew that Jungkook was talking to me. That’s why he wanted to spend time with me, to hurt Jungkook.” 
“When I saw you guys talking in the library, I knew what he was doing and I didn’t want you to become another victim to his game.” 
Y/N looked down at her shoes with shame, “I thought I knew Jungkook and I already had a picture in my head...”
“You knew him through other people but you don’t know him truly. I don’t even know him truly.” 
“I still can’t forgive him for buying my home but I do need to say sorry...” 
Rosé smiled at this and nodded her head, “I can tell you that Jungkook had no say in buying your home. His father makes all the deals but knowing Jungkook he has a plan up his sleeve.” 
Y/N looked up at Rosé with a confused look, “What do you mean?”
“Nothing...we should grab lunch.” 
Y/N sat on Yeri’s bed staring at her Instagram with a blank expression, “Are you sure today is the announcement?” 
Yeri nodded her head and turned to her side to face Y/N, “That’s what his Instagram story said. Maybe you won.”
Y/N scoffed at and lay next to Yeri, “With the way my life is going, I just know I lost.” 
Yeri sighed and looked at her ceiling, “I want you to win because I miss your smile.”
“If I win, I will die from shock.”
“Please not on my sheets, I just washed them.”
Y/N let out a laugh and glanced at Kook’s profile, “how do you think Kook’s personality is?”
“I’m not sure, what about you.”
“I would like to think he’s caring and kind. I bet he’s full of surprises.” 
Just then their phones vibrated and glanced at each other. Yeri smirked at Y/N, “Are you ready to see who won?
“Yeah…whoever you are, I hate you.”
They clicked on the story bubble and Y/N sat straight up in her bed, “Oh my god.”
“Soooo…do you hate yourself?”
That night, Y/N and Yeri watched past videos of Kook. That whole night, Y/N felt her heartbeat and she noticed that Kook felt familiar but she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because she watched him for a while. That’s what she’s telling herself. 
Rosé dragged Y/N and Yeri to the soccer game. Y/N knew why Rosé brought her here and she didn’t know how she felt. She hadn’t seen Jungkook since he was at the restaurant and honestly, it felt like she was seeking out for him. Every time she went to the cafeteria she would hope to catch a glimpse of him but alas nothing. She didn’t know what she wanted to hear from him but she just wanted something from him. 
She watched Jungkook make a goal and she couldn’t stop the smile appearing on her face. Rosé glanced at her and smirked, “You're smiling.” 
“Our team is winning...who wouldn’t be smiling at that?” 
“You because you hate sports but here we are.” 
Y/N rolled her eyes and she turned back to be locked on Jungkook, “I have no idea what you're talking about.” 
Jungkook looked into the audience and his eyes landed on Y/N. They both stared at each other until his coach called him and the stare-down was broken. She couldn’t forgive Jungkook for buying her home but deep down, she just wanted him to talk to her. 
After the game, Rosé brought Y/N down to the field and everything felt slow motion. Jungkook walked up to her and Y/N waited for him by the gates. She smiled at him and looked down at her shoes, “Good job at winning.” 
“I felt a boost of confidence when I saw you. You hate sports so it's an honor that you came by.” 
Y/N rolled her eyes and looked up at him with softness, “I saw your picture...it was beautiful.” 
He stiffed and rubbed the back of his head, “You saw that? What do you think?” 
“I like the flowers. It’s peaceful. What does it mean? The title...” 
Jungkook grabbed Y/N’s hand as they stared at each other with softness, “In my dreams, you're there with me with flowers around us. That’s all I want...”
Y/N glanced down at his lips but then at his doe eyes, “I-I...Jungkook.”
“I know...I just needed you to hear it from me.”
She glanced down at his tattooed hand with a frown, “Jungkook, I’m sorry. I judge you wrongly.” 
“It’s okay at least you know me. That’s all I wanted before it was too late...maybe it is too late.” 
Y/N looked up and felt the warmth left her when he removed his hand, “I-”
“Jungkook, the coach wants us!”
Jungkook glanced and nodded his head at his teammate. He looked back at Y/N and gave her one final smile, “I’ll see you later.”
“Yea-Yeah, I’ll see you later.” 
Y/N watched him leave and she couldn’t remove her eyes off of his back. She felt sick to her stomach and all she wanted to do was cry on her pillow. Why is life so complicated?
.*・。゚☆゚.*・。
Today was the day that Y/N was going to play a game with Kook. She couldn’t believe that this was finally happening. For years she dreamed about this and it was finally happening. The couple of months have been the worst in her life but now she can forget it for an hour or two. She entered the room for Minecraft (something she thought was strange for him but she ignored it) that Kook sent her. 
She entered the room and she looked at the screen with confusion. She was surrounded by flowers and it looked like someone took out all the trees. It was just flowers until she saw a sign. She walked up to the sign and read it closely, “Y/N, I’m sorry for everything that I have put you through. Please come downstairs.” 
Her mouth dropped, “No fucking way.” She pushed her chair away and ran down the stairs as fast as she could. There was a knock at the door and she knew in hindsight this was pretty suspicious but she knew who it was. She opened the door and he stood there looking at her with his doe eyes, “Kook?”
Jungkook smiled and even with him being soaked from the rain couldn’t stop his smile, “Y/N.”
“What the fuck is going on?”
“I have so much to tell you.” 
“Sure, my parents are out right now. Come in.” 
They walked in and went to her room to have privacy. They sat on her bed (with Jungkook sitting on a towel) and she couldn’t look him in the eyes. He knew had to make the first move, “Your restaurant is homely.” 
“Thanks, we tried our best. It won’t be ours anymore.” 
“That's what I wanted to tell you.”
She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, “What?”
“I bought the restaurant...I’m your landowner and as your new landowner, I request no rent. Just live here and be happy.” 
She let out a laugh and shook her head, “What are you going on about?”
Jungkook turned towards her and grabbed her hands, “My father wanted to make this into a high-class restaurant. I told him he couldn’t do that, I saw potential in it, I told him. He said then it’s all mine or it’s going back to the previous landowner. I bought it because I knew this was your home and I wanted you to be happy.” 
“I-I have no words. You did this for me?”
“I would do anything for you.” 
“Did you tell Jessica to say sorry to me?”
Jungkook let out a laugh and nodded his head, “I did. It was pretty easy to convince her.” 
She smiled and rubbed his knuckles gently, “You picked me for the scholarship...”
“Rosé told you?” 
“She did...she also told me that...she told me that you're in love with me. Kook, I need to hear it from you.”
Jungkook leaned forward and placed his forehead on hers, “I-I’m in love with you...I was a selfish asshole in the beginning because I wanted to push you away. I realized that I couldn’t do that anymore to you nor myself. I love you, L/N Y/N. If you don’t feel the same, then say it.” 
She smiled and looked down. Silence encased around them and he couldn’t help but laugh. She looked back at his face and tilted her head. She gave him a quick kiss, “I feel the same...you were a selfish asshole. I’m glad we can agree on that.” 
He rolled his eyes and pushed some hair behind her ear, “Full of surprises.” 
“You did all this for me and never told me...”
“I was scared to tell you. You hated me, remember.” 
“For good reason.” 
He shook his head and chuckled, “Yes for good reason…can I have permission to kiss you?”
“Permission granted.”
He glanced down at her lips and she smiled at the softness in his eyes. She nodded her head and he leaned forward placing his lips on hers. The rain that was hitting her window became silent and the only thing that they felt was each other. His lips molded against hers with slowness making her head spin from the passion. It wasn’t until she felt his tongue against her lower lip, Oh, Jungkook. She parted her mouth and he made his way inside. He tasted like banana milk with a hint of chocolate, it was addictive. She knew she was in trouble. 
When they pulled apart, their foreheads touched as he pushed some hair away from her face. She placed her hands on top of his and frowned, “You’re hands...they're cold.” 
“I don’t feel cold when I’m with you.” 
She rolled her eyes and admired his face, “Should I warm you up?” 
His eyebrows raised and he was taken aback by her mischievous look, “Can you?”
“Is that a challenge, Mr. Jeon?” 
“Always is...especially with you.” 
She gently wiped water from his face, “Careful...you look like you're in love.” 
“Then I’ll get injured. It will be worth it.” 
He brought her into another passionate kiss but it was different from the first kiss. A soft moan slips from her throat and is swallowed by his lips. She clung to him, fingers curling at his gray jacket as he sucked on her tongue. She let out a small whimper when he gently bit her lip. When they parted, she couldn’t look away from him. Jungkook brought up his thumb running against her spit-soaked lower lip, he was captivated by the hazed-out love-drunk look on her face.  
“Do you want to continue?” 
“I would be stupid to say no...and stupid is not what I am.” 
He let out a laugh and pushed up her shirt. She quickly raised her arms and he tossed the black shirt over her head. She let out a small laugh at his eagerness but it was quickly wiped away when she saw the lust in his eyes. She was grateful that she didn’t wear a bra at home. He palmed against her breasts and squeezed them gently before his mouth replaced it. Softly moaning his name as her hands were brushing through his hair. 
His tongue flicked against her sensitive nub making her buck against him. He smirked at the effect he had on her. He gently pushed her on the bed and her head was against her pillows, looking at him with patience. She looked beautiful. Her hair sprawled out with all her little moles begging him to continue. Her stretch marks were his map that he couldn’t help but follow with his fingertips. She was a masterpiece that even he couldn’t afford on a good day. 
“What?” 
He rubbed her stomach gently and shook his head, “Nothing.” 
He gently removed her sweats and was met with a thin fabric. He stared at it for a second before tossing it with her shirt. Y/N felt his hands brushing over her ankles, her knees, and then her thighs while feeling his tongue sliding against her skin. She felt him kiss the inside of her thighs and she looked away with shyness washing over her face. She let out an unsteady breath when she felt his hot breath between her legs. 
“Jung-Jungkook.” She gasped out loud and her head whipped back to look at him. He placed his hands on her hips. 
He looked up and saw her flushed face and he smirked but then realization hit him. Was she inexperienced with this? He was going to show her that all the other guys she was with before were missing out on the greatest masterpiece. 
“Relax, I got you.” 
“Oh fuck...” She was squirming underneath him, the overwhelming sensation was taking over her. “Jung-Jungkook...please.” She wasn’t sure what she was pleading for but everything was overwhelming in a good way. 
Suddenly he added a finger and Y/N melted against him. Her fingers were gripping on the sheets and his hair, “I..I...Oh.” She breathed before he added another finger and the sensation of his tongue swirling around her clit was making her go crazy. 
Everything hit her. She was breathing loudly and he watched her face scrunched up. Jungkook slowly moved himself on top of her with a proud smirk. He saw the dazed state she was in and kissed her neck. Tasting the saltness while she was breathing loudly. 
“Are you okay?” 
She glanced at him and brought him into a kiss. He let out a groan when he felt her sucking at the tip of his tongue. She pushed him away and bit her lip, “I need you.”
“Need me for what?” 
She rolled her eyes and unzipped his jacket, tossing it at her pile of clothes. She glanced at his tattoos and gently traced them with her fingertips. She knew many hated his tattoos but she saw it as her map. A map that was filled with adventure and color within her black-and-white life. It was the most beautiful art piece she had ever seen. She was going to keep it from the public the best she could. 
“I need you inside of me.” 
“Can’t argue with that.” 
Jungkook took off his jeans as she leaned towards her nightstand taking out a condom. When he was done, he leaned back on top of her, kissing her slowly while she brushed her hands over his biceps. He slid his hand down the valley of her breast and then cupped her between her legs, making her buck against him, “You ready?” 
“Mmmm....”
He turned them around and she was on top, placing her hands on his chest to push herself up. Her eyes widened at the change but it quickly washed away, “Perfect.” 
“Oh..shit.” He groaned at the feeling and leaned forward nipping at her neck while helping her set a pace. She arched her back, moving up and down. His hands slid towards her ass, grabbing onto the cheeks, pushing himself deeper. 
Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore because of the eagerness he had with her. He suddenly grabbed her and slammed himself deeper inside of her. She moaned out his name and held onto him as he quickened his pace. Her nails digging into his tattooed arm. 
“Y-Y/N...shit.” 
Jungkook felt her clenching around him and he couldn’t hold back anymore. Groaning as he came and fell on top of her, both of them breathing loudly. She looked up at him and saw hair sticking to his forehead and she smiled. She pushed the hair and gently traced his face, “I-I love you.”
“I love you more...so much more.” 
.*・。゚☆゚.*・。
“Hey guys, it’s Kook. I’m going to take a small vacation since it’s the holidays but enjoy my top moments of 2023. I’ll see you next year! Happy New Year and drop a like if you laugh.” 
Y/N smiled at her phone and she sat on the couch, “Babe, do you want chicken?” 
“That sounds good.” 
Jungkook came into his living room and tilted his head, “What are you watching?” 
She let out a small laugh and looked up at him with a mischievous look, “My favorite Youtuber...” 
“Well, I hope he knows that I’m your favorite everything.”  
“I guess...” 
It’s been three months since their relationship. Her parents were shocked that she was dating him but after she explained everything to them, they saw him in a different light. Everyone at school was surprised to see Jungkook with someone like Y/N but no one questioned him (except Jessica). 
Rosé and Jaehyun became the new couple of the campus. Rosé didn’t have a choice to be with Jaehyun after the news got out that she cheated on Jungkook. She didn’t want her image to be ruined, so she settled with him. Jaehyun on the other hand was upset that Y/N was with Jungkook. He even tried to fight Jungkook but lost that fight. Jaehyun didn’t love Rosé the way he loved Y/N but Jungkook isn’t going anywhere. 
Taeyong and Yeri hated Jungkook at first but they started to like him slowly. Y/N wanted to tell them what Jungkook had done for her but he wanted to earn their likeness now. Jungkook even helped Taeyong with Seulgi while he helped Yeri with her classes. It was a sweet scene to see. 
Jungkook’s parents were indifferent to her. She was expecting that considering she was normal. Jungkook tried his best to get his parents to like her but she stopped him. It wasn’t worth it. If he loved her that’s what matters. 
Y/N glanced at Jungkook and raised her eyebrow, “What?”
“I can’t admire you?” 
“No...gamer boy. You can’t.”
He leaned forward placing a kiss on her lips, “I’ll always admire you...my favorite masterpiece.” 
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simon-loof · 24 days ago
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Okay anon, who wanted to be convinced about Loofmar *cracks fingers* ekhem, this will be longish 🕵️‍♀️
Am I 100% sure they’re dating? No. But tbh it took me a while to believe o and n were dating. But like i said before, cause that was me as well, when there’s smoke there’s fire. And listen, there is that possibility that they’re just casual fuck buddies, ofc. They both belong to that „incestuous” group of friends haha
If you look at Omar’s IG this year (posts, not stories, although it stays true for stories as well i think), he doesn’t post his friends. At all. We don’t count Edvin because he’s been posted either as a part of YR or OMR. And even his last year’s posts – the only posts unrelated to projects were his own selfies. And his mom. Once. I checked lmao. 2022? Nothing, except 2 vacation posts with n (who used to be in those vacay pictures but they’re deleted now). Maybe some friends posts in these years were there before, but if so, they’ve been deleted as well which means Omar changed his posting habits and just doesn’t share the kind of stuff he used to (and omg the yesterday’s archive account show us what we lost 😭).
So why all of a sudden he decided to share 3 work-unrelated posts from his vacation, that included photos that were questionable? Posting the photo of him leaning on Simon with double hearts on his story as if to put emphasis on this photo which btw was not the first one in the post so that was not automatic. And then the spainmar tiktok with a glimpse of Simon? FOR WHAT PURPOSE, if not to soft launch. He’s not stupid, he knows all this would be questioned and investigated by fans. He admitted to watching people’s reactions on twitter. So why? For promotion? It’s not like he posted photos with Shawn Mendes lol, Simon is just a random person for his international fans. Simon, whose social media presence at the moment is super rare. Why would Omar randomly shone a light on him?
Think about how we have like 5 pics in total of Omar and Simon being in the same photo/video from 2020 to 2023, and now all of a sudden we have so many this year? Those black and white photos on the bed from someone’s birthday in April. The parade. I know Hugo was apparently there as well, but still. And the family picnic with loofs (hugo was also there, which makes me think he’s dating hilda maybe?). and the concert with loofs (and hugo, which again, hilda?). that Pedro person birthday from a few weeks ago. the selfie at the concert with a third-wheeling hilda. I know omar has some bold photos with many of his friends, but why this particular one was posted and deleted because it belonged to his private account? Simon at grona concert, which on its own no big deal, but that’s my entire point – on their own, none of these things are much/convincing. It’s when you put them together, when you see the patterns change, when you connect the dots. C o m e  o n. Has omar EVER said „hey, i have a bf, this is n?”. no! And he won’t say anything directly now either.
Which brings us to the last thing, the nail to the coffen: the stolen man tiktok. Let’s recap. 1. Omar’s not stupid and knows his fans are little detectives 2. Omar doesn’t say relationship stuff directly 3. Omar doesn’t post his friends outside of work (Sabotage TT was an exception) 4. Simon's kinda lowkey so Omar implying a relationship of any kind for shit and giggles makes no sense. So we take all that and still think that Omar went to Simon on a random day, in between formal events, radio interviews and Zoom interviews, in the same clothes, just to shoot a TikTok with him, shirtless, with a bag on his head, in his flat, playing the role of his „stolen man”. Sure :)
At the end of the day, it’s not that deep and this analysis is just in good fun because I'm bored 😎 If they’re not together, omar seems super content and that’s what matters
That must be my longest anon ever 😍 love it. I know a lot will just think tldr, but it's a nice long little recap of what happened over last few months.
And the last paragraph- whatever is or isn't going on, I just hope they're both happy. We're not seeing much of Simon but Omar looks super happy, so that's the most important thing 🙂‍↕️
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emgene · 2 years ago
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enhypen with idol crush plssss
warnings: written on phone, not edited
This kind of made me want to write a "Ni-Ki with an idol!S/O that debut very young", so let me know if you want that
Heeseung has been a fan since your debut. Since it's been quite a few years, he's more low-key about his crush now than he was in the beginning. He doesn't talk about you a lot, but he always plays your music during lives. The day he meets you though??? He's 100% getting a picture with you.
Jay is also quite low-key, but in a "I'm just a casual fan" way. I can see him participating in tiktok challeges that you or your group create. He'd also probably caption his instagram posts with your lyrics and if someone were to ask, he would say it's for "aesthetic reasons". If he were to interact with you, he'd try to act cool but it's obvious that he has some sort of feelings towards you.
Jake... I can't see him being able to hide it very well, especially if he's watching you perform live. He knows every lyric, every song, all the lore. He's always playing your music, especially any solos you have. He shys (shies?) away from you in person, so it'll take some convincing (the boys pushing him into you) for him to talk to you.
Sunghoon doesn't let anyone know. It's like his own secret that only his dog and little sister know. It's actually his sister's fault that he likes you. You're her favorite member, so she always talked about you to him. It was inevitable. He doesn't listen to your music a lot, but he enjoys watching your fancams and he has NOT missed a live. He interacted with you once as MC and his face was so red. Probably asked for a picture with you by saying "oh btw my sister is a huge fan".
Sunoo doesn't hide that he's a fan, but he does hide his crush. He used to go to your concerts all the time predebut, but he can't do that much now. I can see him actually kinda being friends with you?? Like he has your number and you talk sometimes, and you probably do tiktoks together. He'll NEVER tell you he likes you. It's gonna take a rumor for him to confess.
Jungwon didn't even know he had a crush until he sees you in person. He knew your group, he knew some songs, but he didn't really realize that he liked you. You met during an awards show and he found it oddly hard to talk to you. From that day on, he starts listening to your music more and he might try interacting with you a bit. You just make him really nervous.
Ni-Ki doesn't want to admit it, but you're one of the reasons he became an idol. Back home, he would learn all your choreos and he always went to concerts with his mom and sisters. He just admired you so much, and that admiration turned into a crush as he got older. He's always participating in your tiktok challenges too. He actually got to meet you after his debut and he thinks he died when you said you knew who he was. You??? Know Him???? Impossible. No way.
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dukeofdelirium · 2 months ago
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In my early days of being a moonwalker, I remember being very ashamed to the point where I would keep it a secret. I wasn’t ashamed of the person that I was listening to and watching, but rather the opinions of other people. Before I got into his music, I remember my dad telling me that he was gay and that he liked little boys. Of course, I had to ask if he went to jail for that, but I was told that he bought his way out. That never made sense to me, therefore it meant nothing to me. When I finally got into his music and everything, I didn’t tell anyone, when usually I would yap about things that became my recent obsession. After a while, my cousin found out about a TikTok account I had (back when it was Musically lol) that was a fan account. I played it off as using his image to bring in more likes and views (it sounds terrible, I know). I remember this conversation I had with her that I said I honestly thought he was cute, and at that moment her mom walked in and she told her mom about what I said. Her mom looked at me as if it was the worse thing I could’ve told her daughter and asked if I was okay. I laughed and said that I was over him anyway, but it hurt and still does after so many years. When LN came out, I remember discussing it with a friend, saying it would be impossible to be abused in a place that didn’t exist and her response was, “Sure, but that doesn’t mean nothing happened.” I wasn’t coming across as a fan, just someone who heard something through the grape vine and it was clear that she did not know the extent of their claims. Recently, perhaps within the last year, I was talking with my sister about something that had nothing to do with Michael, but somehow he entered the conversation. She turned to her husband and said “Did you know there’s a documentary about how he abused two kids?” It was obvious to me that she’d never seen it, but I didn’t say anything cause who would believe me? Of course, I’m still not THAT open about it but I’ve grown the deal with the jokes, the rumors, and the side eyes.
I had similar experiences. I remember that growing up, my dad did not allow me or my siblings to actually listen to MJ’s music lol. I remember watching the news during his criminal trial, I remember the late night talk shows where they had the audacity to joke about child molestation and turn him into a caricature.
I remember that I used to listen to MJ secretly lmfao. I’d literally sneak around the house and play his music only when everyone else was asleep 😭 my dad had my ass feeling like some kind of criminal for playing MUSIC 😭😭😭😭 my dad also said similar things by making fun of Michael for “being gay” and whatnot. Obviously Michael wasn’t gay, but the way my dad spoke about it was another big reason it took me so long to accept my sexuality, because I was being exposed to how much he hated the idea of gay people when I was like 6-7 years old.
I also remember black or white being the first MJ song I heard. The song and vid are still special to me bc I remember having to secretly watch it when no one could catch me and I was obsessed needless to say.
Anyway, I think a lot of us MJ fans had similar experiences in this regard. Either we were afraid to be caught being fans, afraid to be caught listening to his music, or we were being harassed and bullied for it or something. As I’ve gotten older I stopped giving a fuck, though, obviously. But it’s really fucked up that so many of us were made to feel this way. For what? Listening to great music and defending a provably innocent man? It’s crazy lmao
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hetalia-club · 2 years ago
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I just have to defend my people for a hot second...
Do you guys ever see like someone from a different country say something about your country and you have to physically fight off the urge to get into a pointless argument on the internet? As an American it’s something that happens for me almost daily. People watch our movies and see the news and think they know exactly what we are all like and what it is like to live here. It is so annoying to see just people constantly just say wrong things about where you live an no one cares to be corrected. Like we don’t go telling people from Norway what it’s like to live in Norway and because we don’t do that people just say. “Americans don’t know anything about anywhere except America.” It’s like yeah we do know but we just don’t run around talking about places we don’t live? Like i don’t know enough about France to generalize France and I don’t want to. It’s just so not funny and so aggravating. Like if you are confused on American life style just ask someone. Don’t just go on a message board/ YouTube or tiktok and say something like. “Did you know ALL American bread is sweet like cake and they have never had real bread. And also their cheese is not even considered cheese.” Then everyone in the comments saying “ So true, I went there once 3 years ago and an American asked my mom who is from Italy if she was Mexican they are all so dumb.” then everyone just agrees. Like none of this happened. none of it is true... Our bread is fine. Some cheaper sandwich bread has a little bit of sugar but it is poor quality. Our cheese is normal. Those are Kraft singles and they are actually a Canadian product we import into the USA. It’s not even ours and we get the blame for it (But also shits good idc if it’s not legally cheese it’s fire) This is just xenophobia. Just because our government is the Super Power of the world doesn't mean the people who live here have any control over that. Think about it do you sitting at home reading this have any control over what your leaders do? No, you don’t they give you the illusion of control but they are going to do whatever they want to do in the end. I’m not saying people have to ‘love America’ because who does? But please recognize the people who live here are not all the same person. Every country has idiots every country has smart people. Most Americans (depending on the area) are very kind and helpful to people from foreign countries are are pretty excited to meet someone from a new place. Another diss I see is when an American will say something like I'm 24% Irish. And then people from there get mad and don’t understand why we do that. Gee maybe because we are trying to relate to you? We are stating curiosity about the heritage we share. 
And no I’m not trying to play the victim. I am just trying to combat xenophobia. Never have I heard an American say something like ‘I hate everyone from England’ and I live in a bright red state. We hate each other. We will say ‘fuck California or fuck Ohio’ We don’t sit around worrying about what someone in their own country is getting up to. We don’t go “can you believe people in Germany do XYZ?” We don’t act surprised not because are disinterested but because we didn’t expect you to be exactly like America. America is made up almost entirely of immigrants. Sure we might not know what Bulgaria is like or something but that’s because we don’t live anywhere close to it. Does everyone in Europe know everything about Africa and each country? No you don’t. We are on an island with a few other countries and we like to keep to ourselves. Sure our government does a lot of foreign relations stuff but we like to not involve ourselves with world affairs. The Unites states is so big that we have a hard enough time keeping up with what all the states are doing which are essentially different countries with different laws. I don’t understand this casual xenophobia it is mind boggling to me. For anywhere. Just because someone is from England doesn't mean they have bad teeth, just because someone is Finnish doesn't mean they are constantly drunk and just because I am America dosen’t mean I am overweight and unhealthy. Look I know I am a Hetalia blog but I feel like we at least as a unit understand what a stereotype is and how it hurts the people who live there when it goes too far. Sure jokes are okay and fun to an extent. But when it becomes hate filled and just cruel is when it is no longer a joke and when it turns into xenophobia. 
Also it’s not that we don’t care about the rest of the world. The average American is very interested in the world. It is very expensive for us to travel over seas. I’m going to Iceland and I'm planning 2 years in advance. It’s going to be 2,000 just for a ticket, nothing else. Never mind the house I'll rent, the food and the car plus everything else that I’ll be buying. It’s a dream of mine to travel the world but your average American does not have very much disposable income. And it is very expensive for us to fly abroad. I have been to Canada, Mexico and the Dominican Republic but these are all in North America. Most Americans act so excited to be in that country because it is a once in a life time opportunity even if you have been to Italy every year for 12 years it is probably the only time that American family will ever be there and possibly Europe. They probably saved for years just to go. America and Americans have a lot of problems but so do the rest of you.
I have a friend from Spain who I met when she was a foreign exchange student and she said America was nothing how she thought it would be. She actually thought that she would see guns everywhere and she would have to wear a bullet proof vest to school and that it was basically the wild west. She though everyone was going to be really stupid and ask dumb questions. She thought everyone was going to be rude. Guess what? She went back to Spain for 2 years and then moved to America. She said the people were nicer and it was easier to make friends. She now lives a few cities over and is married to an American guy who is actually from Denmark. They love it here. Don’t judge an entire country from bad news outlets, that is propaganda. Please if any of you have a bad outlook towards America for any reason please ask me or another American before you chastise the entire country for it. 
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denimbex1986 · 1 year ago
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'The talk of the summer and the inspiration for countless memes have all centered around two drastically different films that premiered on the same day: “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer.” Which one reigns supreme — Greta Gerwig’s daydream in neon pink or Christopher Nolan’s gritty biopic?
According to Corpus Christi senior Eric Jaramillo, life in plastic really is fantastic. Katy junior Michael Okonkwo, however, is a fan of Nolan’s three-hour dive into the father of the atomic bomb.
Did you see both “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer”?
Jaramillo: I did not. I just saw “Barbie.” I really liked it … I can’t speak for my friends who are women, but I saw the effect it had on them. If it had kind of an impact on me, I can only imagine what it did for them. So I think it was a really great movie.
Okonkwo: I saw both back-to-back.
What drew you to the films?
Jaramillo: I’m a pop culture buff. I knew the movie was coming out ever since the poster came out with Margot Robbie in the Barbie car, so I was like, “Oh, I’m going to watch it.” … It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see [“Oppenheimer”], but it just didn’t catch my eye. … If I had the choice, I probably wouldn’t [see “Oppenheimer”].
Okonkwo: If you go online, there were a bunch of memes about “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” and stuff like that everywhere. I’m not the type of person who goes to the theater like that; I’m usually the type to wait until it’s out on DVD so I can watch it, but there was just so much hype around it. … With movies, what you usually see is superheroes and Marvel — stuff like that. So “Oppenheimer” being a historical thing was new.
How did your expectation of the film measure up to the film in reality?
Jaramillo: I remember I heard from a TikTok that it was sad, so I was like, “Oh, I’m going to be sad at the end.” So it was pretty different, and it was not what I was expecting when I went into it. So when I got out, I was like, “Oh, that kind of hit me and made me really sad.” It was way different from what I expected.
Okonkwo: For “Barbie,” it was a lot more meaningful than I expected it to be. For the most part, I expected it to be just about Barbie, but there were some more mature jokes. It was that, but it got into more about how girls are treated in real life. … It’s nice that they incorporated that into something like “Barbie.”
Christopher Nolan made all the scenes [of “Oppenheimer”] so dramatic and everything, and usually historical people talking is not the most exciting thing to watch, but he made it seem so much cooler than it is.
What did you like most about the films?
Jaramillo: I really liked the message it had, especially at the end. At the end, I think people were expecting [Barbie] and Ken to kiss, and they didn’t. That made me really happy because I think a lot of men wanted them to kiss. … I liked that it didn’t give them that. I think that it’s a testament to feminism.
Okonkwo: I liked both for different reasons. I loved “Oppenheimer” because it was three hours long, but I was locked in for the entire thing. … I feel like “Barbie” was a lot of fun and had a deep message to it. … From just enjoying the cool visuals and everything, obviously “Oppenheimer,” but story-wise, I feel like I enjoyed “Barbie” more in that sense.
Say you got to make your own director’s cut of the film. What changes would you make?
Jaramillo: I would probably include more scenes in the Barbie world, because the set was so pretty but they didn’t include much of it. … They did it so good; I don’t know what else I would add. I guess more dancing scenes; those were nice.
Okonkwo: For “Barbie,” I feel like the mom should have her speech, and the way to dehypnotize the Barbies was to tell them what made them special. Like, “You’re the president. You did this. You don’t need to worry about [Ken].”
I don’t know how [Nolan] would incorporate [stories of the effects of nuclear testing in New Mexico], but I feel like if I was director, I would put that in to show, “Yeah, he’s remorseful, and there were a lot of people who were affected.”'
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snowglobe-system · 8 months ago
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hi okay so elaboration on this post
i'm 19 years old and i was in fact the chronically online teenager who "needed to go outside". like my parents literally implemented screen time restrictions to force me to get off of tumblr and discord and ao3 because at the ripe age of 14 i had like no fucking social life lmao.
so now for the big question: did limiting my screen time make me go outside? the response to that is a resounding lol no not really.
here's what it did do. it made me absolutely miserable. my friends, my life, my hobbies were all on that goddamn computer screen. it was COMMON for my screen time to just run out while i was in the middle of drawing something. and that was actually really frustrating! like would you not also be frustrated if something you like doing and is therapeutic and fun for you was consistently interrupted by an authority telling you that the light from the screen is bad for you or whatever? like, it's not like i was spending ALL of my time on the internet/my computer doomscrolling. it was actually a pretty small part of my technological activity. i had a lot of youtube hours but that's because i have adhd and i was using it as fucking background noise for the most part. most of the time i was chatting with my online friends, drawing or reading (also, like, i think i was kind of entitled to my few hours of doomscrolling, it's not like my parents didn't watch the news or check facebook every morning).
so like basically everything i liked doing was on the internet because i was a queer audhd kid with emerging bpd in a small backwater town and i just did not have friends. and taking away my screen time didn't automatically give me irl friends it just made me more poignantly aware that i didn't have any and like. what was i gonna do, walk around the neighbourhood by myself for 6 hours? it's not like i had a car, i was like 14 and couldn't legally obtain a drivers license, so i couldn't just go places, and even if i could, where would i even go? everything costed money, and at that age i didn't have a job yet. so i still stayed inside, i was just also really bored because like honestly there were only so many books in the house that could catch my interest and i'm a really fast reader. and eventually i did just figure out how to get past screen time limits (my dad could have stopped me because that man is a computer programmer and absolutely could have outsmarted me, but in this case he chose to let me get away with it because he believed in my personal freedom a lot more than my mom did lmao).
so at 19, has my behaviour in accordance to technology changed? well, that's a question with a really complicated answer. like, yeah, it kinda did, but it also didn't. the core of my engagement with technology didn't change, but my environment did. i left my hometown and went to university in the big city down south. and suddenly, there were other queer audhd people around, some of whom i had shared interests with, and whom i subsequently became friends with. so i do get out sometimes and hang out with them, and during those times my phone is put away for the most part. so i use less technology in that aspect- but i also use more technology in that i use my laptop to take notes for class now, i type my homework on it, and sometimes i play a little video when i'm eating a meal because hey man i live alone and eating supper on the couch watching TV is one of the best kid experiences ever and i don't see a reason not to recreate that whenever i want.
that being said i actually think my relationship with the internet and with technology in general is a lot better than many others my age who would be considered "chronically online"- and, well. guys. i'm on fucking tumblr of course i'm chronically online. i know all about the drama and the latest queer discourse that only matters on twitter and tiktok and about all the kids getting called cringey mental illness fakers- and by the way, whether or not some of them are really faking is actually none of our fucking business, because we are not their therapist or psychologist and we cannot accurately say whether they do or do not have something based on a 15 second clip. i mean jesus christ guys, i’m going to a psychiatry appointment on monday and the time slot is 90 minutes, 15 seconds is barely even a FRACTION of that. anyways, i'm getting a bit off topic, hi i have adhd and i really like to have super long yap sessions as evidenced by this post. anyways back to my relationship with technology. i see all of these things all of the time, i read them, i even interact with them. but generally i think i’m pretty good at acknowledging nuance, and the people i know in real life don't tend to know i'm chronically online just based off of talking to me a few times; it takes friendship and some deeper conversation for people to know that about me. i'm generally pretty calm and chill about co-existing with people i disagree with even on pretty intense ideological differences, because honestly i don't care that my friend's dad is a conservative, we're both just here to watch them sing a damn song on stage and losing my shit because he said something off colour is going to cause a whole scene and make it awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. i'm not friends with these people, because i don't want to be and i don't have to be, but when we have to be in the same space for a mutual connection or goal, i don't have any issues being pleasant and polite, because generally starting a fight accomplishes nothing but making it weird for everyone. i see technology and the internet as a tool, which i can use to engage in hobbies, watch some videos, read some social media posts, help with research and my academics, and connect with other people from a distance. that's all. to me, the internet is kind of like a glorified combination of a telephone and a public library.
did limiting my technology and making me go outside contribute to this at all? lmao. no. not in the slightest. i didn't start developing the ability to see nuance until i was like 17- and THAT'S what so many people are missing. teenagers aren't being cringey and annoying and saying bad political takes because they're on their phones, they're doing it because they're teenagers and it's developmentally normal. like, gods, imagine if all of the dumb shit you thought and did when you were 15 was broadcast to the world forever. tiktok and twitter did not make teenagers bad at nuance, it just gave them a fucking megaphone. granted there are still some people my age who act like that, but hey, development isn't a linear path that everyone follows at the same rate, and also, to be totally fair, i spent a lot of time actively developing my critical thinking brain. my major is a hybrid french linguistics/literature program, and my minors are english literature and disability studies. critical thinking kinda comes with the territory. so does a lot of reading, including of older works that don't align with modern moral principles. also, philosophical discussions were commonplace and encouraged in my house and that continues to hold true in my friend groups. like ffs literally 3 days ago my friend was telling me about Kant's theories in a casual hangout setting in the goddamn uni cafeteria. so i think it's fair to say that i've had a head start. and also notice how none of these things have anything to do with how much time i'm spending on tiktok.
tldr; modern teenagers now are not uniquely annoying, cringe, or bad at nuance compared to previous generations, we just gave them a goddamn platform, and taking away their phone and telling them to go outside is not, in fact, going to solve their tech addiction, because it's not addressing any of the underlying factors that inform why they spend so much time online, and i know this because my parents tried this on me and it didn't fucking work. literally just wait a few years and most of them are probably going to become better adjusted people because that's just what happens once you gain life experience outside of high school.
i know it's popular to shit on teenagers for spending too much time on tiktok or twitter or whatever the fuck and to say they need to go outside but like. have we actually considered that maybe they're on the internet because there isn't anything to actually DO outside anymore? teenagers getting stuck in online echo chambers is definitely a real problem but. idk. i don't think going outside is going to necessarily fix that, when there aren't any places to go that don't cost money (which most teenagers do not have a lot of).
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bereft-of-frogs · 3 years ago
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Personally I'm not bothered if something's ends up being kind of standard MCU stuff if it's good MCU stuff. I'm not expecting like an art house movie. I'll watch something else if I want that. I just want the standard MCU stuff to at least be good.
Yeah, I hope you don't mind anon that I'm going to use this ask as a bit of an excuse to talk about how frustrated I am by the responses to Marvel criticism lately.
I'm so annoyed by the way people just immediately dismiss any arguments by being like 'uh it's not that deep, what were you expecting, an arthouse film, this isn't A24'. Like. Yeah. I know that. But I'm still allowed to want the blockbuster action/adventure movie to like...be good? Or fun, at least? And they just...haven't been, for me, lately. I think I'm fairly judging them against similar genre films. Like, I liked the first Doctor Strange a lot better than this one. I liked most of phases 1-3 a lot more than phase 4. I feel like we're being asked to accept more and more mediocre content as the best thing ever just because it's the latest MCU entry.
This also gets into the 'let people enjoy things!' argument and I agree, if the situation is someone posting about enjoying a movie or show, and you're coming onto their post or comments section and being like 'uh, it was trash' sure, let people enjoy things how they want, leave them be. But I'm increasingly seeing people having valid critiques be utterly dismissed with this 'how dare you not let people enjoy things.' Pointing out that there was a lot of unnecessary exposition that dragged down the pacing and that the themes were confused and not ever properly developed is not impacting someone else's enjoyment of it. That's just how film critique works? And it's not 'betraying' or hurting the cast, crew, or studio? I've started to see that dismissal as well, like 'oh you can't say that, people worked really hard on this.' I'm sure they did, but that doesn't mean that there aren't parts that went wrong, or the movie as a whole wasn't very good.
This is also like...a billion dollar-studio with a near-monopoly on the industry. I'm not sure why some fans feel like they need to defend it with such a passion from like...tiktokers and bloggers with less than a thousand followers.
I also think it's kind of interesting how reviewers have started to get preemptively defensive about their positions. I'm finding it interesting to watch Tiktoks that are like 'I felt like MoM fell short in x, y, z ways, I wasn't really a fan of these things, this could have been done better....I STILL LOVED IT.' And on the one hand sure, you can love something and still point out the ways that it fell short. But it does feel like these people are really ranking it like, mid-tier at best and yet still have to add in that they 'loved' it. Maybe I'm off-base there. But those tiktoks have felt...defensive...
Anyway. This is probably kind of rambling. I hope it makes sense. The tldr is I'm getting increasingly annoyed with the way that any critique of an MCU film is dismissed with this attitude of like 'well, what were you expecting, an arthouse film?'
(Or: "you had too high expectations, you all just hate it because you wanted a thousand cameos!" I wanted less cameos. And I wanted the cameos to make sense. And also I had the level of expectations the trailers, promotional material, and previous films set me up for, I do not see why I should adjust my expectations to accept movies that I didn't enjoy?)
Final Aside:
I also think, as someone who also does like auteur cinema and horror, that I would prefer to have the MCU be kind of standardized in its style because, well...I don't really like Sam Raimi. I know the Evil Dead series is super popular, but yeah. I've never liked it that much. I don't really like his horror style. And having it sort of shoehorned into a serialized story, that the viewer kind of has to watch to figure out the story...it's kind of annoying. Because I just wouldn't watch Sam Raimi films normally. But I felt like I had to, because of the serialized nature of the MCU narrative.
(Honestly, I actually would have preferred Scott Derrickson keep the reins and be let loose with the horror elements, because I really like Sinister and The Exorcism of Emily Rose isn't perfect but I like how moody it was. But again, that's a personal preference that not everyone would agree with and it kind of sucks that the way the MCU is structured now, you have to watch all the movies to get the story. Like, if Doctor Strange had been able to have a standalone film in the same way that the earlier phase films could be watched on their own, there would be room for a full horror Doctor Strange or even I saw a tiktok suggesting that it would be a fun experiment to have like, arthouse-style character study short films set in the MCU but like...it feels like it's all such a mess right now.)
Ok, I did like some Raimi-characteristic shots. I liked the montage of Wanda's spell with the guitar riff in the score. And I liked Wanda's fourth wall break when she finally took over other!Wanda. But the Bruce Campbell cameo made me roll my eyes.
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d-criss-news · 3 years ago
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20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music
While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.
While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.
1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?
Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.
2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?
They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.
3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?
Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.
4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?
Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.
5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.
6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?
My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.
7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?
My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.
8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?
I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.
9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?
The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?
10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?
San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get,��the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.
11.  What’s the last song you listened to?
I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.
12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?
The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.
13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?
I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.
14. What’s your karaoke go-to?
The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”
15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?
What I have up my sleeve.
16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?
Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.
17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?
It’s A Wonderful Life.
18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?
Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.
19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?
I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.
20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?
I hope I get to play live shows again.
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kit-herondale-carstairs · 4 years ago
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TDA Characters on TikTok
Julian: doesn’t post very often because he is a father but when he does it is always him painting or drawing something with lofi music or him sharing a tidbit about one of the children or other family members (Kieran, Cristina, Diana, Emma and Aline included and always with their explicit permission). 
- He’s very popular without even trying and most assume he is a young single father (which isn’t wrong).
-  Mostly finds himself on cottagecore or parent side of tiktok. 
- doesn’t understand all the thirsty comments he gets because “I don’t even show my face, Emma, why would they think I’m attractive?” but always shares them with Emma because they make her laugh.
Emma: Does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it. Posts nearly every day and page is generally a mixture of self defense videos, vintage makeup/dress tutorials, and videos slamming the patriarchy but also always does the latest dancing videos and other trends.
- always tries to get others to join in on her trend videos, mostly joined by Mark and Cristina when she can rope her in.
- Nearly broke tiktok when she got Julian to do the “You could have been nicer to me” trend because NO ONE KNEW THEY WERE DATING  AND EVEN THOUGH THEY COULDN’T SEE HIS FACE EVERYONE RECOGNIZED HIS VOICE AND HE WAS SO SWEET WHEN HE OFFERED TO TAKE HER TO HER FAVORITE THRIFT STORE AND BUY HER SOME DRESSES AFTER HE PUT THE “BABY” DOWN FOR HIS NAP. 
- - everyone knows the “baby” is actually at least seven but no one ever said his name because he’s too young so everyone collectively knows him as “the baby”
- solidly on gay tiktok even though she’s straight. 
Mark: Daily blogs. Everyone thinks he’s shit posting because it’s all wild things like standing in a middle of a circle of flowers and talking about “this pixie named Aelia lives here and she’s a BITCH”. Often shows videos of him cooking or baking wild concoctions that range from “Okay, I’d try that” to “this is why God has abandoned us”. 
- Does dancing videos with Emma all the time and often acts as the “creeper” in her self defense videos. 
- Caused a meltdown on tiktok when he casually mentioned his “partners” and started creating videos to raise awareness for polyamory. 
- Revealed Julian was his brother when he posted a video of Julian yelling at him for a solid minute because “the baby is covered in honey, why is the baby covered in honey, Mark? We don’t let the baby bathe in honey even if he really wants to Mark -” 
- solidly on cooking and gay tiktok, often takes a sharp left into “crackhead” tiktok
Kieran: Posts videos of cats he finds and rates them. The lowest ever was a 9.5/10 because “she bit me fairly hard but I scared her and I deserved it for trying to pet her without permission”. 
- does not do any trends or reveal much personal information. 
- Was always considered wholesome until he (on a dare from Dru) posted a video joking about choking a bossy sub that rounded up on kinktok. 
-- everyone went through a brief freak out trying to figure out if he had a partner but it was never solved. 
--- No one noticed that Mark posted a video joking about how “one of his partners was absolutely in the doghouse” accompanied by someone sitting in a cardboard ‘doghouse’ around the exact same time. 
- solidly on animal tiktok but occasionally veers into kinktok with more (less explicit) dom/sub humor. 
Cristina: Does not have her own tiktok but often appears in videos with Emma and occasionally shows up in Mark’s. 
- Absolute sweetheart always, even when she is demonstrating a self defense move with Emma, and is always commended for trying Mark’s foods. 
-- especially commended when trying the foods while, offscreen, their other partner yells about “Hell food” 
- is flattered with all the comments begging her to start her own tiktok but doesn’t feel like she has the time to fully commit to one properly. 
Livvy: (She’s alive, don’t @ me) Does absolutely all the new trends and also does various acting POVs 
- her soulmate POVs are most popular but she also is known for dueting act-along POVS with other popular creators
- also occasionally posts videos rating the best male actors/superheroes and once got into a long drawn out back to back war with someone on whether or not Captain America really had “America’s ass” 
- had a very popular multiple-part series about being a girl in the MCU dating the various Avengers but ended it abruptly after Endgame because “Natasha Romanoff deserved better and it hurts too much”
-she used to post occasional videos where she laments on being the “only single person in the family” but she started getting some very creepy duets and comments from actual adults so she told Julian and they both agreed it would be better for her to stop them
-- Julian did take the time to duet the people being inappropriate and explained very clearly that their actions were wrong and directed towards a LITERAL CHILD and shamed multiple accounts into flat out deleting
Ty: Posts literally whatever interests him. Has two animal series - one where he shares facts about his favorite kinds of animals and one where he showcases various animals he’s found in the tidepools or around the house. 
- has done several video series of rescuing animals and has at least one where Julian could be heard lecturing him on trying to raise wild animals in his bedroom again 
-- tiktok freaked out because this happened right around the same time as Julian calling out all the creeps on Livvy’s tiktok and no one knew that the twins he talked about were them  
- also does videos about his favorite literary works - notably Sherlock Holmes - and true crime/mystery videos 
-- he always makes sure to carefully put in warnings for anything remotely violent or triggering and has never had a single video taken down for violating the rules even when he did a multiple part series on the Black Dahlia and how her crime was ‘absolutely solved but because the man who did it was rich and white, he got away with it and probably also killed at least two other women, one of whom was killed in the Philippines” 
-  sometimes does twin videos with Livvy because she likes them and it makes her happy. 
Dru: Queen of witch/horror/true crime tiktok. 
- got in trouble with Julian for showing actual runes in videos but everyone just thought they were for the aesthetic so it was fine
- most popular videos is a series where she rates horror movies on how they do on the bechdel test 
- sometimes duets Ty’s or Livvy’s videos just to drag them (with love) 
- Has a very popular series on “women who snapped” and is known for almost rarely during part 2s (and therefore having to speak very very fast) 
- also complains constantly because her videos will get taken down even if they aren’t that violent and includes clips from far worse videos from male creators to point out the double standard
- occasionally dives into tiktok drama just to dabble and then sits on the sidelines and watches it happen
-- 100% built a balloon arch to flex on That Balloon Girl 
- solidly on witchtok and horrortok
Kit: King of petty/messy tiktok who also posts random videos about crime and occasional blogs
- switches from either sharing no information to borderline oversharing childhood trauma
- shares videos on borderline illegal ways to get back at exfriends/expartners/exfamily members/general enemies 
-- putting fish in people’s vents, subscribing them to magazines under various similar names, sending them glitter in the mail, opening their oreos and taking out the middle of all of them, putting baby locks on their cabinets and in the outlets they can’t see (like under the bed so they can’t get plug in their cellphone charger at night), etc. 
- is always eating some sort of snack, no matter what he is doing
- also posts videos about personal safety like what locks will actually keep people out and what ones are easy to break into
--caused several minor freakouts when he casually mentioned his father taught him how to do it
- occasionally posts videos with an adorable toddler and a young couple who he refers to as “mom and dad” even though they look at MOST five years older than him and he often makes parental abandonment jokes/comments
- no idea where he lives because he speaks in an American accent and talks constantly about American/California life but everything around him looks very British 
- absolutely dives head first into every tiktok drama and will go for the throat for anyone who makes ableist/sexist/racist/homophobic comments without hesitation
-- his drags are legendarily savage and he has caused numerous problematic accounts to just straight up disappear
- duets videos from Livvy, Dru, Mark, Emma and Julian ( with lots of savage drags) but no one knows how he knows them because he is absolutely somewhere in the UK and all of them are based in California/US
-- he also notably NEVER duets Ty
--- the mystery is finally solved when Kit does a livestream and reveals that he met all of them because he was briefly living with them before getting placed with his family, the young couple who actually are his mom and dad 
---- he is very vague about the living situation but everyone assumes he was a foster child 
- he once caused a mass freakout on Tiktok (that actually spilled over to twitter and buzzfeed) when he announced he was going back to the US to visit friends and then posted a video with the caption “when you see your boyfriend in person for the first time in MONTHS but he’s too distracted by some wet 🐱” 
-- the video panned out from Kit’s unamused face to Ty gently rubbing a tiny wet kitten  with a soft cotton towel 
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dork-empress · 3 years ago
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Singing in the Dead of Night
Damian Wayne meets a new masked persona in Gotham, and everyone has to adjust to her.
AKA I have a lot of headcanons about Lucy Quinzel and I'm making it other people's problem.
I want it up front that I haven't read these comics, just a lot of wiki pages and tiktoks. If there's a fun thing in the comics you can tell me, but this is my own version of this universe and these characters.
This is going to be the main story, but I may do some offshoots. If you want to subscribe, chapters are also posted on my Ao3 (link in my description).
“You need to take things less seriously.”
Damian looked up, looked down, and then looked back just to be sure it was really his father who asked. It was hard to tell sometimes if your superhero father had been replaced or possessed or something. “Are you serious? YOU’RE telling me that?”
“That should enforce to you how dire the situation is.” Bruce said, leaning back in his chair. “You’re still a kid,”
“I’m 15,” Damian said, then thought about his varied adventures, “Technically…”
“My point exactly,” Bruce said, turning a page on his crime reports, “You should enjoy being a kid, for a while.”
“Oh, did you enjoy being 15?” Damian said, and maybe that was a low blow, but if Bruce wasn’t ready for him to call him out he...shouldn’t have made him upset. Hmm.
Bruce looked up and stared into his soul, and Damian worried he might have stepped in it a bit. He backed up a step in case. Bruce took a deep breath, looking at him. “My childhood was stolen from me, but I at least had one. As did all the other Robins. You’re not responsible for what happened to you,but I think you could use some time. I couldn’t offer you a childhood then, and I can hardly do that now, I know, but I can do what I can.”
“And what are you doing?” Damian asked, narrowing his eyes.
“You’re suspended from Robin duties.”
“WHAT?!” Damian exploded, getting in his face. “What are you talking about?!”
Bruce didn’t flinch, “Until the Wayne Manor Christmas Party,” Bruce said, “I’ve called Tim and he’s willing to cover for you until then.”
“He doesn’t NEED to cover me,” Damian snarled, “I’m right here! I’m not injured, or dead, or ANYTHING I just--WHY?”
“I told you,” Bruce said, “You need to find other...hobbies, or form connections or SOMEthing. Anything other than the lifestyle. You have two months, you’ll live.”
Damian curled his fists, shaking, but had no more arguments. “You’re the WORST!” He said, and went off to his rooms.
The room was left in stony silence for a moment. Alfred came in, changing out Bruce’s cup of tea. “You don’t actually expect that to work, do you?”
“Not really, no,” Bruce said, “But he’ll be out of my hair for a little bit.”
Alfred was very dignified and so did not snort. But it was close.
Damian went out at night, saying he was off with a friend. Best to keep things vague, but if Bruce pressed, he’d say he was with Jon, and could probably bully Jon into vouching for him.
He dressed all in black, jumping from the rooftops, looking for trouble. There was usually plenty of it in Gotham. He just had to avoid the Bat Signal hanging in the sky and he’d be fine.
He heard a crash and looked down. Jewelry store robbery. Perfect.
He jumped down to ground level and approached the broken in window, taking out his sword. “Anyone in here, it’s better to surrender now,”
Of course, because it was Gotham, he wasn’t met by a normal jewel thief. No, instead, what approached him was a small walking orange balloon animal dog.
Because of course it was.
With an act first, think later attitude, he stabbed at it. He regretted it instantly as it let out some sort of opaque gas, the effects of which he didn’t want to find out. He pulled his shirt up over his mouth in hopes of preventing himself breathing too much in.
“Oh wow,” a voice said behind him, “Are you Robin?”
Damian whipped around and scowled. The gas was obscuring whoever was there, but the silhouette seemed like something of a ballerina. Why couldn’t one criminal just be normal?
He jumped back, ready to attack, but she didn’t fight him. “I’m not Robin,” he said, “I’m…” he didn’t think of another name. Ugh, this was more complicated than it needed to be.
“Huh,” she said, heading over to the display case, “This city sure has a lot of teenage ninja fighters, doesn’t it? Is ninja appropriative? Hmm, will have to think on that.”
She picked up a diamond ring from the display case and headed for the door. “Put that down!” Damian yelled at her, lifting his sword up.
“What, are you going to kill me for one ring?” She said, holding it, “Kinda overkill, don’t you think, Blackbird?”
Damian put his sword up to her, blocking the exit. “I’m not going to kill you, I’m just going to stop you,” he said, determined, but then her words sank in. “Blackbird?”
“Well, I’ve got to call you something, isn’t that how these superhero fights all go?” She stepped forward out of the fog, a girl about his age with a white painted face, lips painted into a heart, and bright orange and pink eyeshadow. “I’m Commedia, the hero of funny, the dancing clown, the laughing knight, etc etc.” she said, “im still working on my name too.”
She did a fancy twirl, getting out of range of Damian’s sword, which he countered to block her from the entrance again. “Oh, you like to dance?” she said.
“Clown, huh?” he said, staring her down, “You work for the joker?”
She laughed, high pitched and sweet, “Very much no,” she said, twirling again through the store, “Though I understand the confusion. No, Joker is...well, a joke. He’s not even registered in the clown registry.”
“There’s a clown registry?” He swung his sword.
This time, it came to a stop, with a matching jingle. He frowned, and saw it was a tambourine that the woman had lifted and stopped the sword like a shield.
He stared at the girl, Commedia, in stunned silence. She smiled brightly at him. “Well, this has been fun. But I really ought to head out. Raincheck on that dance, Blackbird.”
With a spin and a jump, she made it past him and rushed out the door, throwing a pink flower behind. A gas filled up the room in her wake, obscuring the view. Damian unfortunately got a whiff before he could block his nose, but he knew a simple fog cloud scent when he smelled it.
Damian went back into the shadows before the police inevitably arrived. It did seem below his paygrade, fighting someone who only stole a single diamond ring. But it was even stranger for that fact. A strangely dressed clown woman engaging in very strange and specific crimes in Gotham screamed “beginning of a dangerous plot.”
He wanted to go in swinging as usual, then remembered that if his father heard anything about a young person with a sword threatening police, he might catch onto the fact Damian went out that night. So, he went with the subtle approach. Breaking into the jewelry store’s records.
He was glad he did. It turned out that ring in particular had a history. It had been bought, returned, bought again, and returned once more, all by the same man, a Matthew Crenshaw. A quick records search brought up that he was a simple caller at a center. Nothing special about him. But, he was tied to the ring, and that tied him to the girl, so that was his first stop.
He tracked down the apartment to find Matthew Crenshaw in the middle of a very strange day. Damien watched through the window as Matthew lay on the floor of his meager living room, looking up at Commedia herself. She held the ring out to him, offering. “Well come on, man! Take it!”
“I don’t…” he mumbled, “Who...who are you?!”
“Just call me your fairy godmother,” she said. “Come on, you said you wanted it! So take it!”
“That’s…” Matthew said, “That’s the ring that Jenny liked...that she…”
“That you said would make the perfect proposal!” She said, dancing around, “So? Here it is! Now you can propose for real!” she said, giving it to him.
He juggled it, nearly falling over. Commedia came rushing over, jumping through the window and onto the fire escape. “Alright, hands up,” Damian urged her.
She turned, smiling. “Why, Blackbird? We going on roller coaster?” She put her hands high in the air and swung around the fire escape ladder, “Weeeeee!”
Damian followed her, pointing his sword tip at her chest. “Stop,” he said, “What are you planning?”
“Well, I’m planning to go sneak up to that window up there so I can look in and see what Matty and Jenny have going on,” She said, “Wanna join--OH!”
Damian pressed his sword up to her neck. “Cut the games,” He said, “You’re up to something, I know it. So tell me.”
Commedia sighed, giving in. “Matthew doesn’t want to get married.”
“I...what?” Damian said, confused.
“Matthew Crenshaw, the guy up there,” Commedia said, “He’s a nice guy, and he cares for his girlfriend Jenny, sure. But she’s been pressuring him about getting married, even though he doesn’t really like the idea of getting married. He’s talked himself into saying that he needs the perfect ring, but when he bought it, he decided he couldn’t afford it, and gave it back. So, I got it for him.”
Damian’s scowl only deepened as she kept talking. “Who’s he to you?”
She tilted her head, confused. “He cold called me to try and offer me a deal on car insurance.”
Damian put down the sword. He just. She said it so sincerely. “Who ARE you?” He demanded, now out of confusion more than anger.
She smiled brightly once more. “Why, I’m Commedia! The hero clown, the dancing--”
“Yeah, you said all that before, but like,” He sighed, “Why?”
Commedia’s smile fell down to something simple and kind. She offered a hand to him.
Hesitant, curious, and just...confused, he took it.
She led him to the other window, where they saw Jenny walking through the door. She gasped and ran to Matthew. “Oh, Matt! Matt, yes! Yes, I do, I do, I never thought this day would come! Oh gosh, I gotta call my mom, I’ve got a few dresses all picked out. You’ll see, it’ll be a huge party with everyone we know and-”
“Jenny,” he said, “Jenny wait, I...you know I don’t...I’m not comfortable with crowds and...and I don’t--
“But it’s MY DAY!” Jenny wailed, “You wouldn’t take MY day from me, would you?”
“C’mon,” Commedia muttered.
“Please, Jen,” Matt continued, “Look it’s just...if, if we did get married, shouldn’t--wouldn’t it be my day too?”
“Oh come ON, Matt,” Jenny said, walking to the counter, “We both know I’m the one who knows what’s best for you. It’ll be good! You’ll finally get to shine, and if you don’t like it, you’ll have ME there to take the rest of the spotlight!”
Matt’s hands balled into fists, and his face set, “No.”
“What?” Jenny said, incredulous.
“I’ve had it! I’m tired of-of you telling me what I like and what I don’t!” his lip trembled as he stood up. “I knew I was hesitant, but I didn’t know why! Now I see it’s becasue I didn’t want you in the rest of my life!”
“Hey now,” Jenny said, “Matt, calm down--”
“Get out of my house!” Matt went to the open window Commedia left behind and tossed out the ring.
“Whoopsies,” Commedia said and dropped away. Damian, confused, dropped down after her.
She picked the ring up from the ground and held it out to Damian. “I trust you can get this back to the jewelry store.”
“So, all of that…” he said, “was to help a guy get out of a bad relationship? That you barely knew?”
“He sounded sad on the phone,” Commedia said, “Made me curious.”
Damian scoffed, staring at her. “Who ARE you?”
She chuckled. “My guess is you’ll find out sooner or later,” she said, “So I’ll pick later, for now. But I’m sure I’ll see you again soon, Blackbird.”
She took out another flower. This one shot off into the distance like a grappling hook, and pulled her twirling into the night.
Damian could have followed her, maybe. But, holding the ring in his hands, he didn’t see much need to.
Across town, Batman was called to a bank robbery in the middle of the night. Inside, however, he didn’t find the vault broken in, and nothing stolen, other than a number of complimentary lollipops. “You know there are easier ways to get my attention.”
“Aw, Come on Bats!” Harley said, swinging from the ceiling with one of the lollipops in her mouth, “Ain’t this a classic? Brings me back to the old days.”
“Oh, you’ve stopped doing crime then?” He said, leaning back and looking up at her, “News to me.”
Harley flipped down in front of him. “Batsy, you know I’m tryin’! I do good, is it a crime to have a little fun while I do it?”
“If you hurt people, yes.” Batman said.
Harley deflated. “I haven’t done that in a while now. I’m goin through some life changes.”
Batman hummed, staring down at her. “I’m guessing this is about the small clown that has been reported around town recently doing strange acts of minor crimes to help people?”
Harley brightened again, balancing on the teller counter. “She’s my new apprentice! A bit of a goody-two-shoes, but I’m doing my best to train her.” She did a handstand, “I came to ask for some advice at raising child soldiers, considering you have so much experience.”
Batman always scowled, but it seemed his scowl deepened on that. “I help some people come to terms with terrible things that have happened to them, and teach them to be a force of good in the world instead of falling to the world’s darkness.” He thought back on his children, “It doesn’t always work.”
Harley laughed, “No kidding,” she said. She sighed, thinking. “To be honest, Commedia is already pretty good. I can’t claim credit for that.” She rocked back and forth, feeling uneasy.
Batman approached, slow so as not to scare her. “Well, we both know she didn’t get it from her father.”
Her face was already white, but she blanched further. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, “She’s my niece, she ran from home so I’m taking care of her and-”
“Harley,” Batman stopped her rambling, “I’m a detective, remember?”
She frowned, shaking at him. “He doesn’t know,” she said, “No one knows, she...she’s never met him and I don’t want her to I--”
Batman held up his hands, stopping her again. “I know,” he said, “I understand, really. And I’ll help.”
She blinked up at him, smiling. “Really?”
Batman nodded. “I’ll help you protect her. As for advice....if you ever figure out a perfect way to raise masked vigilantes, let me know. I mostly just do the best I can, and make sure they can do a proper spin-kick if they need to.”
Harley snorted. “I’ll make a note of that.” She grabbed the box of free lollies on the counter, “I am going to be robbing these though, and you can’t stop me.”
She headed for the back entrance and away. “Harley,” Batman called her again, and she froze, “The year you were gone, when you disappeared and suddenly your sister had a child she wasn’t pregnant with. I want you to know, I noticed.”
Harley smiled, turning, “Thanks Bats-” When she turned, he was gone. “And people call me a drama queen.”
22 notes · View notes
blxetsi · 4 years ago
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modern sasha braus dating headcanons
lowercase intended !
college!sasha braus x gn!reader
had to write something for my queen 😌✨
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- she shares her food with you. I Dont Care She Does
- also since this is a modern au i dont think she would have such an obsession with food as she does in the canonverse (if we can even call it an obsession) i still think she would have a big appetite (and she'd be proud of it tf 😏🙏) but i just dont see her always being hungry as the fandom makes her out to be
- really likes to hold hands with you
- i think itd be really cute if she was studying to become a baker ?? maybe taking a culinary course at the university you two attend ?? maybe you somehow met there or through a friend
- i think she'd still be insecure about her accent (ig if this is au is set in america she'd be from the south 😐🤚) and would speak kind of like a robot to people she didn't know that well
- connie and jean ALWAYS bring out her accent tho,, like with them she can really be herself
- i think when you were starting to get to know her she would be speaking very formally, and youd take it like shes being kinda stand offish or like,, just doesnt wanna talk so youre thinking "okay maybe she doesnt wanna be friends 😁👍" and would back off
- now sasha's upset because you are so cool and unique and she just wants to know so much about you but youve been very distant lately ?? like did she do something wrong ??
- she tells connie, jean, marco, and niccolo one night and connie and jean are on the side of "find y/n and demand to know why their behavior has changed" while marco and niccolo are on the side of "respectfully dm y/n and ask why they havent been wanting to see sasha recently"
- sasha goes with the latter of the two and dms you after passing you in the dining hall, you two literally keep glancing at each other, texting while you sit with your respective friend groups
- after everything gets cleared up sasha is immediately inviting you to hang out with her crew, and even getting some of her other friends like eren, mikasa, and ymir and historia to come join too
- if she has all the people shes comfortable with there, itll be less scary talking with her accent !
- You Love It. You Think Its Adorable.
- you guys would definitely have a friends to lovers type relationship
- like friendly hugs turn into slightly longer hugs, and now sasha will constantly ask to sit next to you during movie nights
- loves to rest her head on your lap while she spreads across the couch
- i think you two would have your first kiss in niccolos apartment
- you two were sitting in his kitchen, with sasha munching on the leftover food he made that night for your get together
- his mom had called him so he decided to leave to go to his bedroom to answer it
- and slowly you guys just kind of,,,, leaned in 🙈✨
- it was slow and really romantic, kinda rough with the crumbs that were around sasha's lips but you didn't mind
- niccolo barged in and ruined the moment 😐🤚 good going pal 😁👍
- you two were so shocked that you two tried to leave
- ended up just walking down the road in silence like wtf i thought yall were trying to get away from each other 😭😭😭😭
- sasha ended up staying the night 🤩‼️
- NOT in a sexual way
- but in like a,,,, rue and jules kinda way where jules comes in through the window (but only sasha didnt come in through the window she came in the front door with you) and you two held each other and gave each other smooches for the rest of the night
- sasha woke up late and missed her morning classes 😐🤚 didnt even care and went back to sleep with you
- i think for the most part you get along well with her friend group
- youre definitely closer to connie, jean, niccolo, marco, and historia
- ymir teases you guys a lot and you cant tell if what she says is just jokes (it always is) or if shes completely serious
- eren, mikasa, armin, annie, along with reiner and bertholdt are more of aquantances to you, just because you dont see them as often as you do the others
- she has such a weird relationship with her english professor
- will literally complain how much work he gives his class and then the next day will gush about how great he his bc he gave her a granola bar for her effort in her assignment
- girl pick a script and stick to it 😐🤚
- has a collection of stuffies on her bed. i dont make the rules.
- anytime theres a carnival in town she drags EVERYONE there.
- you all agree to split up into groups so you can all check out what you want, but you always agree to meet up and eat funnel cake together 🥺
- sasha tries to get you to win her new stuffies
- if you cant do it, or just want some for yourself, shes calling connie and niccolo up PLEADING with them to come find you guys,
- then she claims theres been an ACCIDENT and that you two need help
- niccolo is zooming bc he cares abt his besties 😌✨
- connie texts jean and marco to come find you guys too 😭😭😭
- who gets a kick and a lecture for lying courtesy of niccolo ? sasha. but who also gets a bunch of stuffies won for her courtesy of niccolo ? sasha.
- for your anniversary i think she'd want to do something really fun with you
- she'd set up a pillow fort and have a bunch ot string lights and stuff, have all of her favourite stuffies (which are the ones she thinks of you when she sees) in there too.
- she has chips, she baked little pastries and cookies, and she ordered your favourite takeout
- you guys just watch whatever you want on netflix or whatever and its such a nice night
- it becomes a tradition for you guys, but you two always take turns with setup
- one year sasha did all of the planning, baking and whatnot ? okay now its your turn 😁👍
- you guys even started doing themes now 🤩
- if you guys play board games with your friends youre on sasha's side whether you want to be or not.
- shes also the kind of person that says "i can win fair and square !" but then when bertholdt starts kicking her ass in monopoly her script changes real quick 🙄
- now its "y/n,,, give me some of ur money" and "y/n, buy this property for me" like girl,,,, what happened to playing fair 😍⁉️
- will try and do all of those s/o pranks you see on tiktok
- its hard to get a genuine reaction out of you bc you can TELL SHES RECORDING but she tries anyways
- we love a perservering queen 😌✨
- will call you at random times of the day asking if you guys can see each other
- "y/n ??? are you there ??" "sasha its 2am wtf do you want 😐" "do you wanna ride your bike with me down to the park 🥺"
- also is very observant, knows when youre overworking yourself
- will try and pull you away from what youre working on like "lets go get you something to drink, or maybe we can watch an episode of that show you like before you continue working !"
- if youre persistent that you just HAVE to finish it tonight and cant stop and take a break she'll respect that, until you stay at your laptop for over an hour 😐
- just softly pulls you away like "no lovebug, lets get some sleep okay ?"
- is also very protective of you
- overheard someone making fun of you ?? talking shit ??? her besties better hold her back before she gets suspended 😤‼️
- and since connie and jean absolutely ADORE you, you better believe theyre helping their girl sasha out
- those three are the LEADERS of the "protect y/n club"
- it just becomes niccolo and marco trying to dissolve the situation before it gets physical, and then reiner and armin joining when they walk directly into the chaos
- armin tells you what happened and as much as youre thankful that sasha cares about you so much that she'd defend you like that, you lecture her, jean and connie on not making scenes like that again
- sasha's love language is kind of like,, a mixture of quality time and physical touch
- she just really loves spending time with you, but also very much enjoys being in your arms
- she doesnt shy away from it, and is usually the one to initiate those things
- will hold your hand PROUDLY down hallways or on streets
- always hypes you up too, shes very much so your personal hypeman
- "oh lovebug you look SO GOOD rn oh my god" "sasha pls im in my pyjamas" "and you look like a model baby !"
- sasha is very stubborn however, and if you guys ever fight she is NEVER the one to apologize first, or seek you out to talk about it
- even if shes in the wrong she cant bring herself to admit it, she dug herself into such a deep hole with the stance she took that she doesnt want to take the walk of shame in admitting that she wasnt right
- this can cause a lot of problems in your relationship, but after you explain how much it affects you, shes trying to change
- will always work on her stubborn-ness and pride
- and it actually makes her feel a lot better being able to admit defeat, or being wrong
- she really likes being communicative and honest, especially with you
- i think overall your relationship with sasha is very very fun, filled with good memories, good food, good friends, and most importantly, love.
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no bc i really do love her 😐🤚 lemme marry miss braus rq 😏✨
hope u guys enjoyed !! remember requests are open so if you have anything youd like me to write DONT BE SHY ❤️‼️
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fbfh · 4 years ago
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fangirl’s paradise - leo x reader
genre/vibe: romance, adventure, slice of life
word count: 2.8k
pronouns/perspective: first person present, no pronouns (I think), gn reader
au: soulmate kind of?? also traveling to other dimensions/multiverse
pairing: Leo x fic writer!reader
requested: nah
warnings: you think someone broke into your house for a minute, you feel like you’re going crazy for a minute, questionable pop culture/internet references, you get really embarrased about stuff you’ve written, you say fuck a lot, tiddy as an explative
summary: all you wanted to do was write some leo one shots for your blog, but finding out he’s your soulmate is good too
reccomended songs: havana - camila cabello, where do we go from here - amelie obc
a/n: got really meta and self indulgent with this bad boy, probs gonna do a part 2 at some point, cause this got really long and I started to get tired lol. For clarity, you’re from the riordanverse, but ended up in a world where it’s fictional. also some memories were erased. 
requests r open xo
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All I wanted to do was dance embarrassingly and sing along to the same playlist I’d been listening to for the past three days in terrible accents while I wait for my ramen to finish cooking. That’s it. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Plus, I’ve been home alone all day, so it’s really not too much to ask for. I flip over the waistband of my sweatpants while shimmying my way to the kitchen. 
“Half of my heart is in havana oh nana,” I sing along off key, in a pseudo growly voice that makes me giggle. I’m going to turn the corner, make myself some ramen, then finish the episode of love island I’ve been watching. Except that’s not what happens.
“He got tha-” I cut myself off with a scream, seeing a stranger in the hall way. He looks up. I scream more, way more, and choke out, “JFK’s left fucking tiddy!”, because this dude is either the best freaking cosplayer ever, or those tiktok reality shifting tutorials actually worked at some point. 
He looks too natural, too organic. The level of detail and strategic imperfection is beyond conscious choice. There’s no way he’s a cosplayer that broke into my house. Also, that would be a super weird crime. 
Either way, I’m standing in front of a dude who looks exactly like Leo Valdez. 
It feels… fake.
I didn’t really notice I’m covering my mouth with my hand to stop my hysterical scream laughs, but I’m able to get it under control after a second. 
He’s looking at me, eyes wide, examining me, probably wondering why I’m acting so erratically. Or why I just spat out such strange bullshit. In my defense, I’ve been watching chaotic tiktok compilations inbetween updating my blog for like, two days straight. Three other people round the corner. I don’t know what I expected, and it shouldn’t have been a surprise at this point, but I’m sure I’m looking no other than at Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Piper Mclean. 
“Jesus fucking christ, fuck me with a chainsaw!” I spit, retreating into the kitchen, reminding myself that while they are my favorite characters - and again, somehow real and in front of me? - they’re still technically intruders. I grab the nearest kitchen implement, a pair of red kitchen scissors I’d used to hack open the ramen packet, and point it at them. 
“Woah,” Piper says, “it’s okay, we’re not going to hurt you.” I count to four and breathe in, setting the scissors back down within arms reach. Hold for seven, exhale for eight. I repeated the process again, watching Annabeth whispering to Leo.
I can feel the initial freak out subsiding. I’m starting to calm down a little.
“We’re not going to hurt you,” Piper repeats. Well duh, they’re the good guys. A spike of pure what the fuck shoots through me, as I realize I’m already adapting to the fact that fictional fucking characters are standing in my kitchen. Leo’s ignoring Annabeth, and still staring at me, searching my eyes for... something.
Piper’s brow furrows. I call past Piper to Annabeth.
“Yeah, hi op, what the fuck?” They all have a silent conversation for a minute, and I continue, “Anyone want to tell my why the fuck fic-”
“We can tell you what’s going on, but it’s going to sound crazy.” Piper starts.
“After the past five minutes, probably not.” I glance past her shoulder, Leo’s still examining me. I look away, overwhelmed almost immediately. About 30% of my brain is just an endless loop of ‘ohmygodohmygodohmygod he’s real??? Like,,,, r e a l real????? Aj;dlfkajskdla ohmygod he’s looking at me what the fuck richard’, 20% was still trying to calm down from freaking out so much earlier, so I was at about half brain power for the conversation ahead. 
“Okay, wait. Let me get this straight.” they stare at me in silence. We’re standing in the hallway outside the kitchen, and I feel like a complete disaster trying to process what they’re telling me and not look like a total idiot.
“So, Calypso went missing, and Leo got Aphrodite to activate his soulmate link so he can find her and it led you here?” I’m already smiling. There’s no chance, I can’t get my hopes up. 
Piper continues, “Which means it might not be Calypso.”
“Unless you’re wearing a really good disguise or something,” Leo says. I’m pretty sure that’s the first time he’s spoken to me. I let out a breathy laugh and look away from him. If I try to look at him my brain goes haywire. Scenes from stuff I’ve written about him on my tumblr flash in my mind, and it makes me feel like I’m about to explode. 
“Yeah, the reason we know is-”
“The gods are real, monsters are after you, et cetera et cetera. Yeah.” They seem a little surprised that I’m more concerned with the soulmate part than the mythology part, but I’ve been reading these books since middle school. We been knew.
Piper keeps looking between Leo and me with a weird look on her face. God, Piper, don’t get my hopes up. A knowing look passes over her face and she looks around the room again.
“Gods, where did he go…” She gets up and leaves the room. No one says anything. Between right then and when she gets back should have been in a ‘top ten most devastating anime uncomfortable silences’ compilation. She enters again a few seconds later, a tall hot guy behind her. He has red flowers in his hair and isn’t wearing a shirt for some reason. He looks between me and Leo.
“I see… interesting.” he turns to me and says, “Can you tell me anything… personal about him?” My face flushes. I turn to Piper.
“Sorry, but who the fuck?”
“I mean the only noncanon stuff I know is what I came up with for like, writing and stuff but that doesn’t count-” I sputter.
“Eros.” she replies, “My mom sent him along to help find the right person.”
“Normally I’d be able to tell instantly, but my powers don’t seem to work here very well.” his voice is like honey, and it seems like he’s heavily implying something no matter what he says. 
“Yeah, go on hermosa,” Leo says, smirking, “take a whack at it.” His voice sounds so much more… real than I could have imagined. If I could verbally keysmash, I would have then and there. 
“Hmm… why don’t you try anyway. What kind of lover is he?” the room erupts into protests. They don’t want to hear personal stuff about their friend, I don’t want to talk about cripplingly embarrassing smut headcanons in front of the character they’re about, and he probably doesn’t want me taking a wild guess at his bedroom habits. Eros turns to Percy, Annabeth, and Piper.
“You two, out. You, leave but stay close.” They leave the room hastily.
“Since I’m the god of sexual desire, I know what gets people going. I’ll be able to tell if you’re right or not. ” Eros says. I risk a glance at Leo, who I have a feeling has been staring at me a lot. He leans forward, playful intrigue all over him. How is he not dying inside?? 
“Ah ah,” Eros says to Leo, “you too.” Leo obliges, and heads up the stairs.
“H- okay, uh… he acts like a top, but he’s really kind of a bottom,” I choke out, trying to remember details from past posts, and Eros nods in approval, encouraging me to keep going, “he’s really-” my voice falters, and I hide my head in my hands, “he’s really vocal, like really vocal… uh…” 
“Oh yes, I can tell.” Eros says, and I laugh slightly. “What else?” 
“More? God okay… uh… he really likes hickeys, and-” I choke on my words, still unsure of how I got in this situation. 
“He holds hands a lot in… the bedroom? God…” I trail off.
“The next morning, he kind of… he just sort of stares at you while you get dressed and stuff. I don’t know anyone else who does that.”
Eros studies me for a second. My heart is beating so hard. How long does it take to say yes or no? I’m uncomfortably aware of the distracting adrenaline in my arms and chest and head. 
“Interesting,” he says, then stands up and leaves the room.
What the fuck, is he not going to tell me anything?
I’m listening as closely as I can, and I’m pretty sure I hear Eros say five out of five. I got everything right or everything wrong. Nailed it or failed it. 
Piper speeds past me a second later and races up the stairs. After a few seconds she comes back down. She nods toward the staircase.
“You should go talk to him.” a knowing smile is playing at the corner of her mouth, and I can’t stop one from starting on mine. I run up the stairs, and see him, kneeling on my bed, reading what’s on my laptop. 
Oh god, no. 
He stands up. He’s staring at me so intensely, I look away immediately. I start sputtering out a panicked apology and sit down on my bed, moving to shut the lid of my laptop.
“Uh… I just listen to a song or something that makes me think of you,” my voice gets really tiny at that last part, “and stuff starts to pop into my head. I just keep replaying it, and uncovering more details so I can wr- wait,” I start to look up at him, but can’t bring myself to meet his eyes. I stare intensely at the pattern on my quilt instead. “Did you say remember?” He lets out a breathy laugh, and I can hear the smile in his voice. 
“-of course I never thought you were going to read any of that, or…” His hand is on top of mine, my hand and voice freezing at the same time.
“How… did you remember all this?” my fears are being squashed. He doesn’t sound mad, or grossed out, or judgemental. He sounds… impressed.
“Yeah, I mean, I’m only starting to get back bits and pieces, but you remember… everything.” 
“Wait wait…” I mutter, completely dazed, “so it wasn’t… it was all real?” I feel him nodding behind me, and he makes a noise of agreement. 
“It was genius, really… as soon as I felt like I was remembering something, I’d forget it.” His other hand rests on my shoulder, palm flat against my back. “Only you would think to write it like that…” 
“So… it all happened?” I breathe, my face heating up as I think of the titles marked with a little asterisk. 
“Yeah,” I bite my lip, feeling his breath over my skin. It’s quiet for a second. The mattress shifts and I can feel him leaning closer to me, feel the heat coming off his body. His lips are dangerously close to my ear.
“Want something else to write about?”
Oh my fucking god.
I nod before I finish registering what he said. His free hand moves to my cheek, tilting my face towards him, and my skin explodes with sparks where he touches me. 
Our lips brush.
We both freeze.
Flood gates open. Countless vivid images and feelings and scenarios flash across my mind. It was like watching a movie connecting every fic I’ve written. I gasp-laugh a little, and he does the same. It seems like the visions or whatever that he’s seeing are a lot more intense than mine. His eyes flutter open and he looks at me stronger, more intensely, more passionately than he had before. He lets out a soft, breathy laugh, and presses his lips to mine. Everywhere he touches feels carbonated, and I’m trying not to smile too much. I don’t think I’ve ever been more in the moment than right this second. He pulls me closer, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. I didn’t know a kiss could be deeper than it had been a few seconds ago. His mouth moves feverishly against mine. My arms move up on instinct, one hand playing with his hair, the other tracing the collar of his shirt. He shifts his weight, and one hand on my waist, lowers me back onto my bed. His left hand intertwines with my right, and I smile, remembering what I had told Eros earlier. 
“Estrella,” He groans into my mouth, our teeth scraping as we smile in spite of ourselves, and I get the sense the nickname was an ‘as you wish’ type of thing, from the Princess Bride. It feels like he’s saying I love you. My heart speeds up as he nuzzles into my neck, pressing kisses and little bites into my skin. I think about the nickname I always thought would suit him, the one I kept writing down over and over. Now or never.
“Sparky…” I smile, hiding my face in his hair. He freezes for a second, then lets out that breathy laugh again, his face in my neck. His lips graze my collarbone, and he starts to say something, but the door opens suddenly, and we jump apart. It doesn’t help much though, because he’s still hovering over me on all fours and we both look very flushed. And I’m pretty sure the start of a hickey is forming on my neck. 
“Right,” she replies, “we gotta get going, the door is closing soon, so come down stairs as soon as you’re… free.” 
“Sorry!” Annabeth yells, averting her eyes. Leo and I stumble over each other’s flustered responses.
“-looks bad but nothing… happened… we d- we didn’t like, do anything...” I trail off. 
The door closes.
“I’m coming with you guys?” I breathe. He looks over at me, that unflappable sense of playfulness present as ever. 
Leo sits back, scratching the back of his neck.
“Yeah, we should get back soon. Everyone else will be worried once they remember.” My heart plummets. I didn’t know you could go from feeling so incredibly euphoric to beyond miserable in about five seconds. I open my mouth to choke out a response, but before I can, he stands up and stretches a little.
“Do you wanna change before we go?” The question has such a normal tone to it, it’s a little bizarre after all the unusual things that have happened today. The bad feeling and tears at the corners of my eyes start to recede. 
“Of course you are. If you think I’m losing you again this soon you’re crazier than I am.” I let out a relieved laugh, and stand up. I look down at my monster foot slippers and sweatpants. 
“You know where to find me,” he winks before closing the door on his way out.
“Yeah, I should probably change.” He pulls me close to him, one hand comes up to the back of my neck, the other on my hip. He starts swaying us back and forth, dancing around my room.
“Well, if you need any help…” I laugh, and shove him away playfully.
I take a second to catch my breath. Oh my god. Thoughts are still racing in the back of my mind, but I don’t pay attention. I don’t have time to worry about what’s real and what’s not, I need to find the perfect demigod adventure outfit. I throw open my closet, start shuffling through dresser drawers, digging through my shoes. I don’t remember having one or two of the pieces, but after a minute, I find exactly what I’m looking for. It’s the exact outfit I’d always imagined myself in if I ever went to camp half blood. I search through my accessories, grab a bag, and hastily fill it with anything I think I’ll probably need. I turn back to my laptop, and change my blog description to on hiatus. I check my hair, flattening out the back from before, and determine I’m ready to go. 
I walk down the stairs, and everyone’s watching me. I feel like it’s prom or something, which sounds silly since I’ve got on ripped jeans and a backpack instead of a dress and clutch. Leo’s watching me with that look, the one that makes his eyes all sparkly, and he meets me at the bottom of the stairs. He puts his arm around my shoulder.
“Ready to go home, Estrella?”
I have never been more ready for anything.
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