#my mom is a smart person when it comes to awareness

[two-white-butterflies]

vienna waits for you

Description: A messy divorce with his college sweetheart sends Harvey catapulting into a bed of madness. He meets her years later, and the worst part is: they still love each other.

Pairing: harvey specter/singer!reader

A/N: i am obsessed with suits as of the moment, and i will be posting a lot about harvey specter regardless of his small fanbase. i have no idea if representing an ex-spouse is legal, but i saw jessica do it for her ex-husband so...by law of suits?

Harvey Specter does not have a positive outlook on love. His mom cheated on his dad, and subsequently his views on love were hinged on that heartbreak. Everyone around him knew that there was a great wall in the middle of Harvey and personal connections. He struggled to make friends - or in Donna's words, he is alone, has always been alone.

"What are you talking about?" Louis raised an eyebrow, a foot inside of Harvey's office. His eyes methodically darting back and forth between the two men. "Harvey was talking about his college sweetheart. She added him on Facebook." Mike lied.

Louis chuckles nervously, aware of Harvey's past.

It hasn't been that long ago, Harvey was still married to you during his early associate days. "She added you on Facebook?" Louis repeated the last words, his eyebrows were merged together. I don't mean to impose, but if Harvey's getting back with his ex-wife... Louis thought, and Harvey's jaw clenches.

He casts Mike a glance.

"If she added you on Facebook, then why didn't she add me?" Louis bites his bottom lips, Y/N likes me. I thought we were friends, Louis takes a deep breath. "Maybe it was a fake account, Louis." Harvey glares at him, his blue eyes piercing daggers deep into the other man's soul. Why couldn't have Mike thought of something clever-er?

There were three women that he could name at the top of his head, Scottie, Zoe, and that one waitress girl. "Oh, because for a second there I thought that..." Louis smiles bitterly. "Get out." Harvey rolls his eyes, mumbling something about closing the door on his way out. Louis quickly fades from view.

"What was that about?" Mike's eyebrows merged together. "None of your business," the older man replies curtly. Harvey didn't embrace the past with all of his heart. There were a million things that he could have done differently. He could be living a different life right now, had he made the right choice, but he didn't.

He has never experienced real love, but he was close, once.

"I get it," Mike sighs, aware that it wasn't smart to ask his 'mentor' personal questions. "I need those files by tomorrow." Harvey huffs, dismissing the associate. Way to ruin the day, Mike, Harvey thinks.

But it wasn't really Mike's fault.

(HARVEY SPECTER. 1ST YEAR AT HARVARD)

When you fall in love, everything happens in slow motion. As I'm watching this girl get off her motorcycle, everything happens in slow motion. She removes her helmet, and her hair is free - suddenly swaying with the strength of the wind, and when her face is free of her flowing hair - I see her face.

She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

"Harvey Specter, right? I'm sorry for being late but I was the one that they tasked to tour you around the place. Courtesy of Jessica." She smiles at me, her helmet sitting snugly on her hip. "You don't have to," I found myself mumbling and she shakes her head.

"I insist." She smiles at me. I think I can hear a love song play in the background. Harvard of my dreams, woman of my dreams. "Harvey Specter," I introduce myself. She mumbles her name, and shakes my hand willingly. "I'm from the school of Arts. I hope that you'll be able to attend my song event next Tuesday. I'm inviting you." She says promptly, her tone reminding me of Jessica.

School of arts? Pfft, she must come from real money.

"Invite me? But we've only just met. Shouldn't you invite me to dinner before coaxing me into your bed?" I raise an eyebrow. She laughs at my joke, I don't even know if that joke was funny in the first place - but I know that it made her laugh. "It's a song, Mr. Specter. I'm not asking for your soul." Her eyebrows relaxed, and we walk inside the building - the warmth of the heater entering my body.

"- plus, I made a bet with this girl in class that I'll be able to get more guests than her." She winked as we entered our first classroom. "Give me a good reason, and I'll bring all of my friends." I chuckled.

(CURRENT DAY)

"It is always a pleasure to see you," Jessica smiles.

"I wish that I was here under different circumstances." You take a deep breath. These past few weeks have been a blur. "A million artists have been accused of plagiarism, but songwriting is a grey area. Pearson Hardman will fix this problem. I promise." She promises.

Jessica has never let you down.

"We'll have to prove to them that your song was written before they published theirs, which is easy because you keep all our song lyrics in a clear-book." Jessica remembers, versed in all the times that you rambled about your songs in her office, but a sigh escapes your mouth. "Proving that to them is the trickiest part." You confess.

"I lost my book. I don't know if I left it with Harvey - if it's stacked in between his bookshelves, or god knows where it is." A bitter chuckle escapes your mouth as you sink deeper into the seats.

"I could've gone to any B list law-firm if this was an easy battle but I'm willing to spend money on Pearson Hardman because I can't afford to lose." You articulated with a forced smile. Being accused of plagiarism was a stain on your reputation. Pearson Hardman needs to protect your honor.

"Jessica," Harvey's voice breaks you away from your thoughts. Suddenly, the office became smaller, and the twenty-feet distance between the both of you wasn't enough to contain your anger.

"Harvey will handle your case, he is our best lawyer." Jessica compliments. "No," you resist without apprehension. "- what I need from you isn't trivial. I really can't afford to lose." You breath. If this was Jessica's way of entertaining herself, then she needs to find another person to play with. "We should all be professional here," Harvey breaks his silence.

He sits down on the couch parallel you.

He has always kept to himself, even resisted from showing you the vulnerable parts of him in fear that you'd leave. In the end, you weren't the one that left - he was the one who filed for divorce.

How do you talk to an ex-husband without yelling profanities at each other? When the last time you saw each other was in the middle of a court room, unable to look each other in the eye. It would be better to leave things unsaid, but given the circumstance - given the fact that he was staring at you right in the eye - it was impossible.

"I am being sued for plagiarism. I know that you don't care about the truth, so I'll make this simple: losing is not an option." you emphasized, wording it in a way that would leave no questions.

Jessica hands him the files.

"I don't plan on losing," Harvey mumbles while skimming through the files. "- you were smart to come here."

3:00 P.M

The sight of him in his three-piece suit, his gelled hair, and his fresh cologne scent sent you reeling back into the past. How long has it been since you've seen his shadow? Even longer since you've last spoken without your lawyers acting as a medium.

Stars shine and burn, and your star crashed into extinction.

You continued staring at him as he read through your files (all magnificently compiled thanks to your years of proofreading his case files which did not happen if anyone from the D.A asks.) "How long are you going to stare at me?" He asks in a cold tone, it has been an hour since the both of you left Jessica's office. Opting to meet in his office instead, lest you fall asleep in Jessica's comfy fibers.

"You really are miserable without me," you spoke out loud. "What the hell are you talking about?" His eyebrows merged together. "You still don't know how to tie your necktie properly," your lips burrow into your lower lips, watching a fraction of a flaw in his tie.

To any untrained eye, his necktie was polished and flawless - but you know that when he does his necktie, his thumb is a little tight and the entire fabric is tighter around the middle. The back part of his necktie moves slightly to the right, but he fixes that by tucking it in.

"I'm sorry but some of us don't have the time to study little things," his tone comes out colder than he anticipated. There was a time where Harvey was just this little thing in between your palms - if the you refused to move to the mountains, then he moves the mountains to you, that was until the fallout.

"It is because of the little things that we live," you replied in your usual artsy way, one that sends a corporate man like him careening. "- I know that you hate me." You began but he interrupts you with a stare. "I don't hate you," his voice is gentler this time.

"Regardless, I hope that you understand how much this case means to me." You look at him with your puppy-eyes, begging for justice. "I graduated from Harvard, top of my class in a course that people don't take seriously. I make art, not just soulless marketable music, but art that actually has meaning, and to be accused of plagiarism offends me. It really does." You explained your side.

And it doesn't take a genius to realize that he believes you.

"I listened to your song," Harvey replies.

"I didn't see you listening to it." You mumbled.

"You went to the bathroom and I listened in the interim," he lies. He still has your vinyl albums on his vinyl shelf, but no one knows that. "The songs are similar." He pointed out. "Songs sound similar all the time," you snap but only because you know that you've never copied a damn thing in your entire life.

"You told Jessica that you wrote this song during our... do you have any proof of that?" He inquires, following his usual procedure of investigating his client. "No, but I wrote that song after our fight. If that means something." You chuckled bitterly.

(THE BEGINNING OF THE END)

The white blanket covered your body, providing warmth against the coldness of your shared apartment with Harvey. "Good morning, beautiful." He presses a kiss to your shoulder. "Good morning," you replied with a lazy smile, still taken aback by the beauty of his stare.

When you are thrown back into reality, that sinking feeling returns and permeates in the bottom of your chest. "This isn't going to make me forget about that thing with Cameron Dennis," you sharply reminded him.

"This is why I didn't tell you in the first place." He frowns, a bad start to the day. "- you were against me when I was in the grey. I am in the black now and I don't know what you want me to do." He argues.

It wasn't as easy as you narrated it, there were nuances to the problem. Cameron Dennis wasn't going to let him go that easily, when Harvey had the evidence to implicate him in a crime. He'd want to settle a score, and a man like Cameron Dennis was unpredictable, regardless of his moral code. "Leave," your answer was simple.

"- there is still a place for you with Jessica. But if you think that covering up for Cameron, this one time makes you exempt from all the other crimes that he's about to do in the future. You're wrong. Don't wait until it comes to bite you in the ass," you pleaded.

Greater than him have failed against corruption. You didn't want to see him become another clog in the machine, if he was in the black a foot inside of the room - then what shade would he be a year being inside of the room? "If your eyes are open, there's no reason to close them." You continued to persuade.

"It's not that easy." He repeats himself, and for a man of his stature - it really isn't easy. All he had to defend himself was you and Jessica. "I know that it isn't, but instead of involving yourself it would be better to leave before the tides become stronger." You advised, but judging by the look in his eyes - he wasn't listening to you.

5:00 PM

"Their estate replied, they're willing to settle on 40%." Harvey informed you, aware that it was the best deal that he could get out of this scenario. You didn't have a single evidence in your hands, none but your words and the stories attached to it. He believes you, but it would never uphold in court. "I want to settle on 0%." You insisted.

It is bold, but not even half of what Harvey settles on a daily basis. "They wanted 100 and I got it down to 40, unless you come up with an alibi or concrete evidence. I firmly advice you to accept their offer." Harvey tries to convince you, his tone mirroring yours all those years ago. "For Christ's sake," you mumbled - it was a losing game.

You couldn't let anyone take credit over your song.

This song means something to you.

It means something to your life.

"I hate you Harvey," you suddenly let out.

After all these years you still hold that divorce against him. It wasn't your fault in the first place, he allowed himself to be consumed by that corruption in Cameron Dennis' office. He blamed you for every little problem that he encountered, he pushed you away, told you that he never cared about you - even though that wasn't the truth. Not even close to the truth, because he was afraid.

Afraid that you'd cheat on him. Afraid that you'd leave him, he left first. So he'd be the winner.

"What is this really about?" He tried to keep his distance. "You can't even win this damn case." You insulted him, your words still able to cut through his thick walls. "- you defend capitalists. You're a clog in the machine, and you can't even defend an innocent woman." You were aware that your anger was misplaced, but he was the one standing in front of you - the object of your ire.

"You still can't let it go," his voice was a distant whisper. "- this world isn't a walk in the park. I told you that during the divorce, and I still mean it." He says the word 'divorce' with no reluctance, whereas he was avoiding that word a few hours ago. "You changed. I can't even recognize you," you chuckled mockingly. "What happened to the man who had a moral code?" You ask.

"You've been gone for a long time." He made an observation. "And we don't know each other that well. You were always away, building your career. Leaving me." He voices out his anger for the first time in decades. His jaw clenches again, but his eyes - oh you could tell from his eyes that he was heartbroken.

"So the divorce was my fault?" You queried.

"We barely spoke to each other. You didn't return my calls, you pushed me out, you made me think that there was someone else." He points a finger at you, raising his voice by an octave. "I was scared that if I answered you, then we'd fight. So I ignored you because ignoring you was better than losing you!" You yell.

The last years of your marriage was hell. Every little thing that unnerved you of each other was brought out, used in arguments - and the very swords that you promised to defend each other with, was used to stab each other in the back.

"You gave me the divorce papers, I told you that we could fix our marriage and you ignored me too. I'm not the villain that you're making me out to be, Harvey." You take a deep breath, regaining your composure and walking out of his office.

(A DAY AFTER THE DIVORCE PAPERS WERE GIVEN)

I take a deep breath.

In and out, like she always told me to do.

How long has it been since we've last spoken to each other? The only time that I was able to hear the sound of her voice was when the judge spoke to her and she requested for half of my properties. I should hate her for doing that but I don't.

"Harvey, I'm sorry for that plea with the judge. I don't know how to get your attention without suing you. We both made mistakes, but that isn't a good enough reason to let go. Let's fix us. I love you, and please call me back." The voicemail ends and I take the phone off my ear. I love you, three words that I have never said to her before.

I can see her sitting on the corner spot of the cafe - the cafe where we had our first date because the steakhouse that I booked mysteriously got shot down, and she insisted on having coffee for dinner. I can see her wearing the red dress that she wore on her song recital - the first time that I was able to hear her perfect voice.

I want to enter the room, but I can't.

I reach for my phone, dialing her familiar number.

It rings a few times, and I see her fish for her phone inside the bag.

"Hello?" I hear her voice on the other line. "Harvey, are you coming?" She asks, but I'm already here - without the courage to walk through the doors. "Harvey," she says my voice in a firm tone.

I open my mouth to speak but no voice comes out. I'm scared, and what if she'll leave me in the future? I should leave before she falls out of love with me, before she realizes that I'm not worth the sweat. "- for christ's sake. If you're here to laugh at me." Her voice becomes frustrated, and I see her stand up.

She hangs up.

"I love you too," but she was unable to hear me.

10:00pm

Harvey takes a swig of his beer, making his way to an apartment that he hasn't been in for a long time. This used to be your shared apartment with him, and he got ownership of it in the settlement. He opens the door with the keys in his pocket (keys that he's always kept in his pockets just in case he needed to return).

The apartment didn't smell like you anymore, it smelled like dust. The pristine white couch was now a muddied version of grey, and all the portraits you had together were covered with a thick layer of dust. He takes a deep breath, sitting down on the floor beside the vinyl shelf.

He took all of his vinyls and placed them in his office, but yours were still there. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Don McLean and Coldplay, your favorite artists - and he hasn't listened to them in a while. He doesn't understand how your marriage with him took a sharp turn - he valued your love, held it close to his heart, but in the end it slept away from his hands, carried on and never looked back.

He opens the dusty vinyl box and plugs in the song.

The song that you were being sued for, and the song that he has only listened to once because he couldn't bear listening to your voice.

Slow down you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a juvenile. But if you're so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid? Where's the fire what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out.

He opens one of the albums in the shelf. Elvis Presley's That's The Way It Is, which the both of you voted as the best Elvis album of all time, the soundtrack of your love story with him.

You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through? When will you realize, Vienna waits for you.

The song continues playing in the background, and to his surprise a paper napkin was folded in the middle of the album, creating an indent that he hasn't noticed before. He reaches for the paper napkin, afraid that it would disintegrate with his touch. He unfolds it gently and to his surprise, the lyrics to the song that you were being sued for: Vienna, was written there.

To my husband, please remember that I'll be here waiting for you.

12:00 AM

He knocks on your apartment door, and you groggily open the door for him. "What the hell are you doing here?" Your eyebrows merged together, surprised by his sudden appearance. "I can win the case," he says with certainty - but already knew that. Harvey Specter is the best lawyer in NYC.

"You don't like losing. I get it." Your voice had hidden meaning.

Your eyes only softened once you realized that he was holding a laminated paper napkin in his right hand. "You found it," you take a deep breath, which probably also means that he was able to read the note that you wrote. "I went to our old apartment and it was-"

"In Elvis' album," you finished his sentence. "I didn't expect you to still have that apartment. I expected you to sell it the moment that it was given to you," it was your turn to make an observation.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." He made it very clear that he regretted the divorce, but should a relationship be founded on regret?

"It's in the past. We both have moved on." You partly lied.

"I was there in the cafe when you called me, and I wanted to talk to you but I was scared." He admitted, finally able to voice out his thoughts after all these years of keeping it in. "I was scared to tell you the truth because everyone who has loved me, has left me." He repeated, and suddenly a great weight was placed on your back.

"I think about you everyday," you confess.

Your hands in his necktie, pulling him closer towards your body. "What if we hurt each other worse?" It was your turn to voice your concern, eyes mirroring his - your fears were tangible. "Let's try again. I'd rather live knowing that we tried again, than live knowing that we could have but didn't." Harvey begs.

You answer him with a kiss to the lips.

A/N: will do a pt 2 fluff 🙏🏻 idk if people still watch suits but i love this show and i live breathe it.

[tarjapearce]

Strawberry Jam (Pt.2) +18

DadBestfriendAu!Miguel x fem!Reader

WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. SMUT, Breeding kink, Body Marking, Rough sex, mentions of Exhibitionism, fluff, daily situations.

Pt. 3

Ever since your dad knew about you and Miguel, things at home were tense for a while. You always had to meet up Miguel either at his home or he picked you up.

At first, your dad gave you both the silent treatment, but seeing Miguel trying to be a good man for you, chipped away the anger. He never stayed during the nights and always visited you during the 'appropriate' mingling hours.

He always got you flowers at every chance he got, and always respected your boundaries. And then, you met Gabriela. The child was sweet and polite, yet sharp and quite the observer.

At first, your relationship with her consisted in her making questions, such as "You like my dad alot?" "What do you like the most about him?" and a bold one "Dad knows when someone is for the money. But so far you seem cool enough."

Gabriela was smart, perceptive and of course a daddy's little girl. You were worried that things with her wouldn't work out. Something you had told Miguel, once you reached the three month dating milestone.

Despite the stress, one of the biggest achievements in your life approached, your college graduation. Two more months to go and you'd be free from college.

Miguel had taken you to a new, lovely and expensive looking restaurant to have a private celebration, previous to your graduation. Miguel had asked you about Gabriela, and how the kid secretly admitted to him that, ever since you got into his life, he seemed more at ease, more of a cool dad. Happier even.

Some people around you stared as you both kissed. Of course you were aware of the snide comments done around you whenever you were with Miguel. Mostly accusing you for being a gold digger, or being manipulative enough to make Miguel your personal sugar daddy.

But to Miguel, you were none of that. And he made sure to always remind you what you meant for him.

------

With the graduation around the corner, two days actually, your dad finally just accepted the fact you were dating his best friend. Still he was squeamish about you being alone with Miguel while he was gone out of business, but so far he had kept his promise to not knock you up, despite Miguel's discontent.

"So... whatcha gonna do once you've graduated, cupcake?" He ate his dinner as he sat across you. It was just the two of you.

"Well, my career coordinator landed me a spot in Alchemax."

"Oh really? Where?"

"In the Informatics department, as Dr. Bushman's assistant."

"Does Miguel know?"

"Not yet. I wanna surprise him."

"Hm."

Your dad sighed and looked at you, with an unreadable expression on his face.

"You really like Miguel, sweetie?"

"Of course. I mean... He's the best man I could ever had asked for. He knows what he wants, and so do I."

"I'm just a bit concerned on how you'd manage to... be a mother to Gabriela at such young age"

"I know it's gonna be hard, and that she might get some time to get used to it as well, but, I told her that I wanna be someone she can trust, besides Miguel, someone she can come home to and just tell her how much an amazing kid she is, because it's true." You sighed and looked at him.

"I had none of that growing up, because of mom's doings. And if it wasn't for you, sometimes I wonder what kind of person I would've turned out. But... that's why I've decided to break the cycle and be that figure to Gabriela. She's just... so sweet dad. And Imma do my best. For her, and for Miguel."

"Would you marry Miguel?"

The question sending a bright flush on your cheeks.

"W-We haven't spoken about that. I mean, we've been only dating for five months now."

"Still, would you?"

"I would, yeah. He's too much of a good man to just let someone else that wouldn't treat him the way he deserves, get him, ya know?"

"You love him?"

"Yes. And I don't know if it's wrong to feel such intensity in such little time. Just hope he feels that way too."

"Ah, cupcake. Miguel doesn't let anyone into his life so easily. It took me almost two years for him to get to trust me. And look at you. You're already having play dates with his daughter, and doing great with him, he's really attentive and wants the best for you as well. If that ain't love, I don't know what is it."

-------

Graduation was over, the celebration with your dad, Miguel and Gabriela was a success, and soon, you were back with your dad at home. Your dad went to sleep and soon you changed into more comfortable clothes

The doorbell rang half hour later, you went to pick up, and to surprise you saw Miguel.

"Hey, come in." He kissed you in the process and soon, gave you a bouquet of roses.

"Thank you, they're beautiful"

"Congratulations, princesa. Where's your dad?"

"Sleeping. He was exhausted."

"What about you?"

"Hm?"

"Are you tired?"

"A bit. But if you wanna go for a walk, I don't mind. Just let me get my sneakers on."

You went to your room, and grabbed a pair of sneakers. You were lacing them, and the door behind you closed, the lock clicking. Big and strong arms picked you up and made you straddle his hips.

"My dad's sleeping!" You mumbled between gritted teeth

"Even better."

"You're such a perv." You kissed him as his hands removed your shirt and smirked upon finding bare breasts.

"Me? You're not wearing a bra, cariño." his mouth grazing your neck as his hands held you in place.

"Never liked them anyways." Your giggles were replaced by a soft moan as his fangs nipped at your sensitive skin. His fingers hooked in the hem of your shorts and panties to slid them out your legs, leaving you bare before him. The socks and sneakers were the only thing that dressed you up.

In all reality was that despite your dad's initial rejection to your relationship, that didn't stop Miguel to have his fun with you in other places in your home, before cleaning of course.

You had gone from the kitchen, to the porch, the thrill of of your neighbors catching you was borderline maddening.

Miguel had a thing for exhibitionism. And so you had discovered once you were fucking in the attic's window. In his car in the middle of a parking lot? check, your garage? Done. Had to wash the front of your dad's car since your silhouette was engraved on it. Shower? twice already. Stairs? of course.

You wore a dress and that was enough for him to take you in the spot.

"Now that I think about it, your room is the only place where we haven't had fun." He twirled you around and positioned in all your fours on the bed. The smoothness of your skin, displayed before him. Puffed labia waiting for his ministrations.

"Ass up, face down." He commanded as you flattened your chest down on the plush bed, obeying at his words.

His hands took yours as he made them grab your ankles. Spreading your soft flesh for him even further. He groaned at the sight as he licked his lips.

He removed his clothes, and kneeled behind you.

"Where was the last time?" His mouth pressed soft kisses in your inner thighs, and then he moved to your nub of nerves. Your body tensed at the feeling of his wet tongue dribbling up and down your slit.

"T-The living room" you spoke in between tiny, shaky whines, his tongue flickering with speed on your clit, you trembled and bit your lip to drown a shaky moan. The suckling and kissing noises sent chills down your spine.

He hummed and released your flesh with a small pop

"Oh, right. Had your dad sitting where you rode my face..." You groaned as the grip on your ankles faltered, his thumb rubbed in slow motions the already sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Where you rode me" He nearly whimpered as the memory replayed in his mind. He sunk his face once more in between your folds, holding your hips in place, eating his food with such delight it made your toes to curl in.

"Dios, te veías tan preciosa montándome." (You looked so gorgeous riding me)

He growled and slapped your rear, that only jiggled and flushed softly in response.

"Bouncing over and over, tryin'to make me cum inside this tight little pussy..."

Your hips bucked by instinct at his words, Your folds glistened both in arousal and his spit. You were turned around and got your knees bend up to your shoulders, folding you into a mating press position. His wide shoulders flexed as his hands maneuvered yours to hold yourself in place.

"You trying getting knocked up, hmm?"

"Y-Yes" You hissed in between soft pants.

"Oh..." Your heart and pussy throbbed at his expression. Goosebumps making your  skin crawl, you could swear from the light that his eyes glinted red, his breath hitched. As if waiting for so long for you to say such words. And now that you had granted him permission, there was nothing holding him back.

God, What had you done?

A flicker of fear crossed your features as he smirked. His fangs in full display for you. He guided his tip and stroked it against your folds to then sink himself in you. He shuddered at the warmth and tightness welcoming him.

"Fuck" he groaned and looked at your face as he entered you, you choked a sob.

"Let's make a mami out of you" His words slurred an octave lower. He groaned and his hips smacked yours.

You gasped and he covered your mouth with a single hand.

"But you gotta be quiet, princesa. We don't wanna wake up your daddy when we're making a baby here." His hips rammed yours and your eyes went shut, inhaling sharply against his mouth. He remained deep buried, unmoving, relishing the heat your cunt provided.

His weight crushed your body, keeping your legs folded as he hovered over your face. His other hand craddled you, and his hips rolled again, earning a shaky whimper from you. He was going slow on purpose, a pace you weren't used to.

You could feel every inch digging inside you, stretching your flesh and poking at your cervix.

"Te vas a ver tan chula" (You're going to look so beautiful)

He breathed as he nibbled the skin of your neck, grazing his fangs, to then bit. you could only groan and sob into his hand.

"Round and swell with my kid growing inside you" His whole body kept you folded, as he slowly fucked its way into you. He refused to give in as you rocked your hips against his, urging him into a faster pace.

He was low and steady, mumbling how well you were taking him, how he couldn't wait to milk your breast once you got pregnant, and how pretty you'd look in his big shirts, belly popping out all while he kept fucking you in a torturous slow pace.

He kept cooing and mumbling things in spanish that you didn't understand, but his cock kissing your womb over and over, grazing sweetly at your spot, made your toes curled in.

"You cumming mi amor?" You nodded weakly as he pressed tighter on your mouth, your breath hitched and your body went taut.

"Esoo" (That's it) He kissed your temple and removed his hand, you gasped for air, panting and heaving as your insides trapped him.

"P... Please" you whimpered and looked at him as he repositioned himself above you. Both his hands held you now in place, giving him more access into you.

"Please what?" he gave a condescending smirk your way as he hoisted his hips upwards, without leaving you completely

"H-Harder" you croaked and he let his whole weight to fall on the firm and deep thrust. Your jaw clenched as he stretched impossibly deeper inside. Tears pooled at the corner of your eyes and he lifted his hips once more, air knocking out of your throat

"Sweet girl wants me to fuck her harder?"

You nodded dumbly, his tip stretching your entrance.

"Please!" you begged with a mewl. Mouth went slack open as he rammed his hips. Your breast bounced in between your hoisted thighs as you shook with every thrust his body mustered. He wasn't holding back. The room was filled with the sounds of his growlings, your mattress creaking under your weight, menacing to cave in the sturdy wooden frame and the constant slapping of flesh.

All you could hear was a

Slap a pause slap slap slap slap

Tears rolled down your cheeks as pleasure screwed up your judgement. Your mouth opened, ready to voice out your pleasure, but a hand on your neck prevented you from doing such nonsense. Fire licked at your skin

Your folds received him with a squelching suck each time he ventured deeper. It felt like you were made specially for him. So ever hot and tight no matter how much his cock stretched you, over and over.

"You're being too noisy, mi amor." He squeezed and you gasped. Air slowly leaving your lungs as he fucked the daylights out of you, just the way you were used to. This time however, you weren't on contraceptives anymore. And that fact alone was dangerously thrilling for him.

You didn't know what made you hotter, the fact you were actually trying in making a baby with Miguel while your dad slept, and he was making everything for you to be loud, or the way he always seemed to ravage you in hopes to get you pregnant.

But dizziness took over and your nails clawed at his squeezing hand as he came first with a deep growl, spurting all his seed deep in you. Hot and flooding your insides. Your muscles spasming only welcomed his cum deeper, your eyes rolled back.

"You'll be such a good mommy for me." He panted and let your neck go, his mouth kissed softly at your marked skin. Red handprint glowed on your flesh as you wheezed and panted for air,

His eyes softened at your blissful blown face, to then pepper you with kisses. You were trying to find your voice as your numb hips finally went back to a natural and laid back position. Legs shaking softly. Breaths coming steady, He stared at you, a warm feeling spreading on your chest.

"I...-"

"Cupcake?" You dad spoke from the other side of the door.

You froze, Miguel chuckled silently

"Uh, yeah?" you rasped, trying for your voice to not sound as hoarse as it was

"I'll go to the store. Want something?"

"Some cherry cola, please."

"Gotcha. Be right back."

His steps faded until you could hear the main door being closed and his car revving. You couldn't help but giggle, he followed and kissed you.

----------

"You ok?" Miguel handed a papercup full with coffee to your dad as he watched you going through some some bridal gowns.

"Yeah... Just... She's getting married."

"Hm."

"To you."

Miguel frowned and your dad smirked with mirth.

"I once asked her if she would, but seeing this turning into a reality is... overwhelming."

The both men watched as you and Gabriela scrunched their noses at a particular dress and then laughed.

"Bad timing then."

"Hm? For what?"

"She's been moody and emotional lately."

"... Shut up..."

"I kept my promise didn't I?"

Your dad only rubbed his face and sipped his coffee.

"Guess you did. Nothing I can do about it I guess."

Miguel's eyes followed you as you took Gabriela's hand and led her to another section of the bridal shop.

Despite your request of being a private and intimate ceremony, Miguel still insisted into wearing a white dress.

"Would it be fucked up to say that I'm glad you're the one marrying my little cupcake?"

"Very. Still.. Glad you understand that I'm serious about it. Does her mom know?"

"Yeah, didn't care. Never did, actually."

"I see."

"As long as you're making her happy, that's all I care about."

"That's a promise."

"Im sure she'll buy waterproof makeup, she's quite the-"

"Crybaby? Yeah. I know. Quite adorable when her nose goes all red."

Your dad chuckled. As messed up the whole thing was, according to some of his most trusted coworkers, he felt a huge weight being lifted out of his shoulders. 

-------

If you wanna be added to nsfw related fics of Miguel let me know!

Taglist:

@um-well

@capmedusa

@migueloharaslxt

@thbidkbutok

@joestarbitch

@angelarcheangel

@ewan-tef

@gejo333

@hyunrelics

@topreice

@luvstich

@loonalockley

@allysunny

@punk-22

@jesterglitch

@sc4rltwitch

@roselove105

[cherry-pop-elf]

Chronic Tonic

Wolverine x Reader x Deadpool

Authors note: I’m taking advantage of all this hype to bring awareness to chronic pain, because we know this bitches have it. ((Written by someone who suffers from it

Warnings: Canon typical violence (so it’s gonna get gorey), disabilities, domestic fluff, pain, blood, gore, Logan and Wade loving each other in their own way, Blind Al being iconic and a worried mom, DogPool being a angel, and heavy talk about disabilities and disability awareness

“Honey, mind coming to help me with the dishes?” You would hear Al call for you. You swore you were the only person she treated you with that Black Mama Magic with. As if you could complain. Suppose having company helps soften you up.

You had recently properly moved into the apartment. A bit cramped now, but given how often Wade and Logan went off to do super hero work it didn’t really matter. You knew deep down Al was happy to have you move in. Even if she doesn’t show it. Same for Mary Puppins, who loved to show she loved your attention.

“Sure thing Miss Althea!” You called back, as you would return Mary to her little dog bed. She gave a whine of protest, only to hush up when you tucked her in with one of Wade’s hoodies. Smelled like her daddy’s, so she was contented to nap time.

“You don’t have to keep calling me Althea-“ She would laugh, as you would enter the kitchen. Quick to already start drying them off, or working on the plates Althea didn’t quick get clean enough. She had a dish washer, but being able to do normal things can be soothing. You knew she was a little worried about her boys. She had her ways of showing it.

“Well I wanna, so-“ That had her laugh at your smart off tone. Was like Wade was in the apartment still. Had her sigh, as you two held your routine perfectly. You often helped her, but in the ways that soothed her. Such as not immediately dropping everything whenever she called for you, or babied her when she was struggling with something. Actually treated her as what she was. A person, who needed different types of help. Simple as that.

“I don’t know if it’s the damn arthritis’s, or just that mama sense I got, but I feel it in my bones. That nerve ache that something bass gonna happen. Maybe we should get the towels out of the laundry-“ Althea would tell you, as you frowned. Wade and Logan were practically immortal. They had to be fine, right?

That’s when the stench of blood smacked you in the face.

It hit you long before they reached the door. Nearly dropped the bowl in your hand, as it just filled your lungs. That intense iron. Althea gave a ‘I knew it-!’ Huff, as she was already walking to grab the needed towels. While you yourself were wondering how she didn’t even so much twitch a nose at it. Maybe the cocaine finally wore it down.

“Get the door for them! And a mop!” Althea called to you, as you brought your shirt to cover your mouth. It was just a suffocating stench. Was like walking into a morgue, where all the war time soldiers came to rot. Wonder how bad it must be for Logan with his heighten sense. Then again, he’s probs used to it by now.

When you opened the door you nearly threw up. The smell was so bad, had you gagging. Now you understood why Althea always left febreez and a face mask next to the door. You strapped that shit on like it was a gun to your belt. You were gonna need it, especially with how banged up they were.

Wade wasn’t even in one piece. His upper torso was tossed over Logan’s shoulder, as he would drag the lower half by the ankle with him. The sight of dangling organs made you feel faint. The internal parts being on the outside was rather distracting from the fact Logan was literally missing half his face. Was like some terminator shit.

“We’re back~!” Wade would sing, as Logan would toss the broken bundle of body parts onto the couch. He himself just sat in an arm chair. That was sweet, you had to admit. Letting Wade have the couch. Least that’s what would cross your mind when you weren’t trying to keep from vomiting.

“Don’t go puking on me. I don’t need eyes to know they be fucked up. Come on, let Mama show you how it’s done. Come on-“ Al would grab your arm, as she would use the side of the couch to help find her way around. Logan tried to be sneaky, and used his foot to push the coffee table away for her. So she didn’t trip. You noticed that. That didn’t sneak by you.

“Yeah, this is why I hate Magicians. Like come on man. Not even a cool spell like Sectumsempra. Just a damn ax. Lame to the L TO THE A TO THE M E-!” Wade you whine, as Al would try and figure out what needed to be done today. As if she wanted to deal with baby legs again.

“Not your PotterHead bullshit again, you fucking nerd-“ Logan would complain, before DogPool would jump into his lap. With a rag in her mouth. Wanting to help him out. The gesture was appreciated, as he rewarded her a ruffle to her fluffy head.

“Alright, here’s how you put a body together. If I can do it you can do it. Not like you can fuck up. Just gotta get it good enough, and that damn healing factor does the rest. Don’t faint on me, baby.” Al would comfort you, before she would guide your hands to the torso.

Was quite the adventure, but it was going to be a needed skill after all. It’s important to make sure they heal up as fast as possible. You never know when you’ll be ambushed, or some other wild plot point that makes you stressed. Not to mention that being a throuple meant getting used to this.

With taking a breather at the butchered surgery, you would stand up to look at Logan. Most of his face had actually healed over already. Well, the muscle anyway. He may not have been as bad off as Wade but you wanted to make sure he was doing ok all the same.

“Don’t give me those doe eyes. I’ll be fine, kid. Nothing we can’t handle. We’re gonna be fine. You did your job. Go wash up. Don’t want to know what the hell you’ll catch.” He tried to act like this wasn’t something painful, but you knew. You knew he’s hurting badly. It’s just easier to pretend than to just make everyone uncomfortable.

You would give a little huff, but toon the advice. A shower was certainly needed. Was a well earned reward. Helped take a lot of pressure off of Al’s shoulders. She could focus on cleaning around the home now, since you did the hardest part. Now was just time to clean, and hopefully help the boys clean up to.

Looks like it wasn’t needed, as you returned. There to see that Logan had come to help clean Wade up on his own. Despite the aches, he was doing his best to help clean up Wade. Taking away all the ruined clothes, and using the cloth that DogPool gave him. Just making sure the stitch work was taken care of.

“Careful with the claws, peanut. Daddy’s sore.” Wade would laugh, but you could hear the dryness. A dryness of exhaustion. You may not understand what it’s like to be in pain twenty four seven but it’s not that hard to understand it’s taxing.

“There’s still a needle and thread here, bub. I’ll finish off your lips next.” He would warn him, but that tired tone was also shared. There wasn’t really that normal bite to it. It was like the two of them were on autopilot. That it was easier to let a routine speak over an isolating silence. It’s easier to pretend everything’s normal than to let the pain sink in. To be deep in your bones, make you spasm, and remind you that sometimes being alive isn’t the best gift humanity can have.

“Come on, you to buddy.” You would soon grab a damp cloth from the kitchen. You took your turn on the couch. Just gentle dabs at Logan’s cheek, in some kind of means to help Logan. You can’t take away the pain, but maybe showing you cared could help? That you’ll never be exhausted of them complaining. Being in pain twenty four seven would wear anyone down. It’s not fair to let them pretend it isn’t.

“Daw, kitties getting pampered.” Wade would lazily say. As if he was in so much pain it was triggering a high. Was that something possible? To reach a pain level you get a buzz and can’t really comprehend your surroundings? Yeah. Yeah you can.

“Ignore him. Wades being Wade.” Logan grumbled, but didn’t fight your attempts to help. Even if the cold cloth did nothing, the fact you were willing to try can be enough sometimes. Not everything can be cured. Doesn’t mean people can’t try and help dull it.

That seemed to be the last anyone said, for a while. Never thought the Merc With The Mouth would ever be quiet. Guess sometimes your body just can’t process things. That so much goes on all at once that your brain just can’t keep up. Sometimes you just gotta autopilot. To feel your body throb, beg, cry, spasm, ache, bones crack, muscles tear, brain buzz, nerves burn, just feel every fiber of your being set a blaze. Sometimes you just have to ride it out, until you can come back from autopilot.

You didn’t pressure them at all. You let them do their autopilot. Didn’t interrupt them at all. Just let them do what helped them best. You just made sure to help in your own way. Such as reducing their need to move more than they should. Grabbing them new clothes, washing their bodies by hand, getting them something to drink, just whatever they needed to got it. You were able bodied, and knew they already felt shit enough not being able to get up to do it themselves. You didn’t hold it over their heads. They had enough of a rough day.

“Thanks peanut.” Wade would smile at you, as you would plant a kiss to the top of his head. A gruff was given from Logan, his own means of thank you, so you kissed his head as well. He deserved to get affection all the same. Just because Wade was more open to his emotions didn’t mean Logan gets left out from the smooches.

“They ain’t gonna leave the couch for a while. I know that feeling-“ Al would say, as she had blankets for them. So you took them from her, and helped them get as comfortable as their aches allowed them to. So much ache that even Logan couldn’t complain at Wade’s overly touchy affection. He was just to damn tired.

“Better get used to this. Happens once a month I swear.” Al huffed, as you gave a sound of agreement. Given she wouldn’t be able to see you nod your head. Just hurt your heart to see it all, but that’s just how the cookie crumbles. Sometimes people are born with it, like Logan, some just get it from Mother Nature saying you had to be special like Wade. Couldn’t imagine the mental barrier they had. Then again, not like they had a choice.

Least DogPool was there to help. Having jumped up on the couch, and snuggling between them. Doing her little pat to the blanket, and curling up between her daddies. Doing her best to help them. Warmed your heart. You made sure she had a plushie while she was there. She wouldn’t leave their side easy after all.

“Not bad for your first run around. Didn’t say that bullshit of ‘wow you are so strong-‘ and that useless crap everyone says-“ Al would ramble to you, as she returned to the dishes. Back to her routine. Like nothing had even happened.

“I mean, why would I? It’s a given, and it’s not like it’s doing much.” You muttered, as you tried to do the routine as well. To try and wash, and clean, like nothing weird had happened. That wasn’t your normal, though. But you’ll learn to have that normal.

They deserved to feel normal.

[erinwantstowrite]

Was Giovanni reminded of Tessa or Alessandra during any of the times he’s saw Peter?

i think i've been writing him as only being aware of the resemblance on a subconscious level (it's in my notes somewhere but i don't have that notebook out right now). all of the characters so far know Dick on a more personal level, so that's obviously where their brains lead them when noticing resemblance, but peter DOES look a lot like his mom, too. Gio isn't going to make the connection very easily because in his civilian world, stuff like that just doesn't happen for them...

But here's the thing: Peter acts a LOT like his mom. Both versions of her.

Dick has been taught since birth to look at all the angles before taking a leap. Sure, there's a level of faith (haha) for reckless stunts, and Dick DEFINITELY does risky shit all the time. (hello, he's a Bat.) But he at least comes to conclusions before he does any of that (even if they turn out to be wrong somehow), and that was honed by his years of Robin training. Richard Parker had a similar experience even if it wasn't Batman honed, but Ben Parker honed. Robin/Richard might have been vengeful, spiteful, and very difficult to keep up with. But they at least had the forethought to be hard to handle while putting up safety nets to fall into

Alessandra on the other hand??? She's the reckless one in their relationship. She was the "fuck it, we ball" attitude. "Leap before looking, figure it out on the way down" personality. I love love love her because she somehow manages to get through by the grace of god every time. She's super smart, yeah, but she trusts her gut and often thinks while in the moment. Her and Richard were always very similar in a lot of ways (making friends easily, a sense of adventure, very intelligent, etc) but that's the key difference with them. She gets very determined and can often get tunnel vision until she is forced to take a step back and see the bigger picture

Peter acts a lot like a mix of them, but yeah. His stunt with the detonator was a lot like "Oh I see all of the information, but there's only ONE possible way to deal with this" (there were many other ways to deal with that). He has Dick's ability to read a situation but Ales' "let's see how this goes" attitude. Makes him a lot MORE reckless than Dick was a kid, in that way. Peter is not thinking of end goals farther than "this needs to get accomplished", only "what needs to happen RIGHT NOW for that to happen?"

Gio has a version of Ales that is older, and therefore has mellowed out quite a bit. (Doesn't mean she doesn't still have it in her, though.) However Teresa is 2 years old and just starting to hit that phase of "oh look this will be fun and have no consequences, surely!"

All this to say: Gio is the Usually Real Chill step-dad in a family of Chaos Is My Last Name people, but he wouldn't have it any other way. And also Peter is the worst with giving him heart attacks (hello, stolen detonator)

[topazy]

Teen spirit

Pairing: Carl Grimes × reader, Maggie Greene × sister reader

Warnings: Swearing

Chapter: 5.07

“Why can’t Maggie be in here?”

An older woman with auburn hair named Deanna smiles at you. She was in charge of Alexandria, and she would be deciding if your group would get to stay or not. You didn’t mind talking to her initially, but what made you uneasy was her videoing your conversation and not allowing your sister to sit in the room with you.

“I won't bite,” she smiles. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable; I just want to ask you a few questions.”

When your group first arrived in Alexandria, everyone was made to hand their weapons over, and now being asked personal questions... it felt intrusive. Deanna straightens out old-fashioned flora curtains before wiping her finger along her bookcase, which was fully stacked. She smudges the dust between her fingers, then turns to you and asks, “How long have you been out there?”

“Uh, I’m unsure. Two years maybe.”

She sits down in the chair across from you and asks, “How did you all find each other?”

“When someone got shot, they were brought to my family's farmhouse so my dad could help save them.”

She looks intrigued. “Is your father a doctor?”

“No, he was a veterinarian.”

“Smart man. I’m assuming because you’re referring to him in the past tense, he’s no longer with us.”

“I lost my daddy not long ago.”

“Have you lost anybody else?”

“I lost my big brother Shawn, mom, and cousin Arnold all on the same day. Walkers attacked them. My dad and sister were killed by people.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she says, sounding sincere. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen.”

Deanna shakes her head and says, “You are far too young to have lost so much. I truly am sorry. So, as far as I’m aware, Rick is the leader of your group.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“How do you think he does?”

You thought you could handle a few more questions, but tears began to swell. You didn’t like being asked anything because it brought everything you'd been through back. “Rick is a good person; everyone in our group is. We’re a family.”

—

Your group was given two large houses to stay in for now, but so far everyone has just gathered into one and is taking turns cleaning up. Being in the walled-off community felt like being in a TV show where the rich housewives live in the suburbs. The only thing you felt was normal was Daryl cutting open a possum while sitting on the porch. Your eyes widen when Rick walks outside; he has showered and shaved off his beard, making him look like a completely different person.

But then again, you looked different. After showing Rosita how to braid your hair, a nice blonde woman named Jesse dropped off some clean clothes for you to wear, along with toys for Judith.

“Has anyone been there yet?” You point to the house next door.

“I don’t think so,” Carl says, looking up at his dad. “Can we go check it out?”

Hesitantly, Rick agrees. “You can go look; just be quick and stick together.”

—

The house next door was nearly identical, aside from a few decorations. Growing up on a farm, you’d never dreamed of living in a modern home built like this. Carol had come with you to check it out; she was now leaning out of the kitchen window, talking to the people who live in the house next door.

When you hear a thumping noise coming from upstairs, you jump and grab Carl’s wrists. “Shit, sorry.” Feeling heat rush to your cheeks, you let go. “I’m just on edge.”

“It’s fine.” Carl offers you his hand. “I get it; I’m scared all the time too.”

He loosely holds onto your hand as you walk up the stairs, and when you reach the room, the noise is coming from Carl. He pulls out his knife and waits for you to do the same before pushing the door open. The room looks like a typical teenage hangout spot; the floor was covered in magazines, comics, CDs, and weirdly designed pillows with posters of bands you’ve never heard of before pinned to the walls.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Carl says, “These are probably things we would have been interested in if things were different.”

“Not me,” you sigh. “I would never have been allowed magazines with half-naked women on the cover. Shawn was grounded for two months when Maggie found a magazine with a woman wearing nothing but a bikini under his bed.”

Carl laughs while kicking a dusty blanket aside to see what’s underneath it. After a few moments of silence, he says, “You never talk about your brother much.”

A fleeting smile tugs at your lips. Being the youngest, Shawn completely doted on you, and as a child, you would follow him around like a shadow. He always had time for you. His death hit you so hard because you thought he would always be there to protect you, but he died trying to save your mom from walkers.

“Hey? You okay, you kind of zoned out there.”

Hearing Carl’s voice, you snap out of your thoughts and back to reality. “Yeah,” you say, smiling at him. “I was just thinking that my brother would have really liked you.”

—

You bite the insides of your cheeks to stop yourself from laughing. Judith looks so confused as an elderly couple. Natalie and Bob Miller fuss over her. It was clear there weren’t many kids around, and this was the first time anyone had seen a baby in years, so they were all excited to see Judith.

“Is that Jesse?” Carl asks quietly.

You look up and see his dad talking to her, “Yeah, she’s nice.”

“My dad seems to like her. He says we’re to go to her house later and meet her son, Ron.”

It was weird; the idea of being a normal teenager was starting to freak you out.

—

After showing you around his home, Ron led you and Carl up to his bedroom to introduce you to his friend Mikey and girlfriend Enid. You were still trying to wrap your head around the idea of returning to school in the afternoons, which was held in a garage, when Carl nudges you with his elbow to gain your attention.

“Sorry, what?”

Ron chuckles. “I said cool bracelet; where do you get it?”

“Em, Carl found them,” you mutter.

“Neat, kind of like a souvenir of the apocalypse.” He pushes his bedroom open. “Enid, Mikey, this is Carl and y/n.”

After an awkward introduction, Ron lists the different things that they do while hanging out, such as reading comics, playing video games, and playing pool. The fact they had electricity from solar panels was mind-blowing enough, but seeing all the stuff they had was leaving you speechless.

You smile at Enid as you sit on the edge of Ron's double bed, while Carol joins the other boys in playing video games. You thought it was a little bit in bad taste; they were playing a zombie video game, but don’t mind watching until a particular scene happens: one of the players finds a sword and begins decapitating the undead.

You and Carl exchange a look before you excuse yourself. “I gotta go; I need to help Maggie with something.”

—

Rick isn’t the slightest surprised when he enters Carl’s new bedroom and finds you in it as well. You were staring out the window in his room that overlooks the woods outside, watching as walkers gathered on the opposite side of the wall. While Carl lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Rick sits at the edge of the bed, asking, “How was Ron’s house?”

“What do you think of this place?” Carl asks him.

“Well, I think it seems nice.”

“Yeah, I like it here. I like the people, but they’re weak. And I don’t want us to get weak.”

The people here don’t have a clue what it’s like on the outside, and if the walkers broke through the wall, most of them would be dead in five minutes.

When Rick leaves, you go and sit on the floor with your back against the bed. You pick up one of the comics Carl found earlier, place it in your lap, and start to flip through. Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you look up and ask, “What?”

Carl looks as if he’s struggling to say something; after a moment, he swings his arm lower and links his fingers with yours.

[mayisgoingnuts]

MT!ROY

I decided to accept that he's not that deep (/hj) and made my own version of him, mostly because of lore reasons.

TW for mentions of CSA and parent issues

Tagging the crew @merwynsartblog @clownazon @sunny6677 @bulldog-geckorahhhhh @catsockpuppet @royphobia @luzxii @articus-icecream

Leaving the info under the cut because it's long

PERSONALITY/HIMSELF

— His "toughness" changes depending who he's talking to. He'll easily be an ass to people who he can clearly beat up, but it changes if it's someone his age for example. The only thing that makes him truly chicken out is if he notices that he has ZERO, NO chance or if the other person is clearly nuts. Other factors can creep him out aswell but then it's specific.

— Gray-ace, experiences sexual attraction very rarely. However he doesn't care enough about labels to search more about, and simply thinks that he's bisexual.

— Roy is more of a cat person but also really likes dogs. He just finds both of them dumb and funny./pos

— His vision isn't THAT bad right now, but it'll get worse with time. He does forget, but when he notices it he pretends not to.

— Resting pissed face.

— Tends to stim whenever he's too happy, either verbally or physically. He'll either start to stutter a bunch of gibberish or move his hands, normally pulling his sweater.

— 97% of the things he says with his friends would get him hated on the internet. Most of them are fucked up jokes. (<- don't feel bad for his friends they're just as fucked up they laugh their asses off)

FAMILY

— Vanido comes from Carmen, while Richelieu comes from Richard. His uncle is named Charles Richelieu, and is Richard's brother.

— Talks more easily to his dad than to his mom. Although it's mostly either short talks or awkward.

— Roy does loves them but still wish they were nicer and "less annoying". It mostly goes to his mom.

— Charles was a "disappointment" to his type of family and consequently Carmen disliked him, but Richard still has an attachment since they were quite close. That's also why he trusted Roy to go visit him by himself sometimes.

— Carmen almost ended up being more strict than she already is, but harsher demands caused Roy to actually express sadness, discomfort or panic, which made her feel bad and give up.

— They don't like him wearing eyeliner because they think it doesn't fit him at all.

— The only reason Roy won't stay up late (since he gets to be alone) it's because his parents won't let him. If he's caught awake after 00:00 he's scolded, and depending on how many times consecutive, grounded.

SCHOOL

— Studies in a private school and can't tolerate half of his colleagues. There's some cool ones there, but meh.

— Roy already participated in a LOT of school activities, or just activities in general, because his parents wanted him to. It includes violin, golf, advanced classes, swimming, badminton and ice skating. He hates most of these, but has a 'special spot' for badminton.

— Cheats a lot. He has the potential to be smart, but prefers to not take the effort to not explode./hj

— Most teachers don't like him and he's fully aware of that, but every year there's atleast ONE who'll hold a grudge after a single misbehaviour and then proceed to annoy him for no reason.

— Hates the uniform. It has short sleeves and he doesn't like short sleeves. Plus he just finds it ugly.

MENTAL HEALTH (?)

— Neither Roy or his family knows about his BPD or autism, in a diagnosis sense. They just think he's stubborn and going through puberty at maximum, while Roy himself just doesn't know nothing about it. He knows a little about autism because Robert's family is autistic, but assumed he has nothing to do with it for being the complete opposite of them.

— Has a horrible habit of pulling his own hair when too angry and/or stressed. Ross and Robert try to make him stop doing that, and to not have them to worry, Roy decided to try something else, such as biting his cap. It works, but only does it sometimes because he feels like an animal (/vneg) and because he's afraid he might ruin his hat.

— Roy nowadays feels really shitty in the dark thanks to the mansion. It's not exactly scared, more like uncomfortable. Feels worse if it's a big space.

— Roy already fought with Ross and Robert once, and it ended up making him see them as the wrong ones and just bad people because of a single fail. He hated staying by himself, and had thanked God that they decided to approach and apologize, because Roy didn't had the guts to.

— Bullying other kids without being stopped makes him better as he finally feels like being in charge of something.

— As much as Roy finally "knowledged" his own SA, he didn't fully did. Since his struggles with his family are more obvious and constant, that part ended up being "pushed aside" and he still finds it not a big deal; specially because Roy didn't even know what was happening at the time. He'll only face it in the future.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Silver Lining 5

Warnings: non/dubcon, speech impediment, bullying and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: silverfox!Bucky Barnes

Summary: You have an unpleasant encounter with an older man.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Your phone buzzes as your niece bounces dangerously close to the tree. Your sister's in town with her two kids, but neither her or her husband seem to care much about watching them. Somehow, you're tasked with that and unsure what to do about their endless energy. You envy them truly so you just kind of let them go.

You hear your mother and sister chattering in the kitchen, her husband is in the garage with your stepdad, and as always, you're the odd one out. You slide your phone out and check the ID. It's Bucky, technically your new boss. You notice you've missed a few texts from him. Great. Not a good start. You were supposed to tell everyone at dinner about your new gig.

You answer, watching the kids without much thought, play tug of war over a string of tinsel. You should stop them but it'll just snap anyhow. You clear your throat and put your hand to your cheek, feeling the nervousness warm your skin.

"Hello, Mr. B-Barnes," you eke out.

"Bucky, it's fine," he sounds slightly irritated but you don't think you've heard a different tone from him so far, "you're busy?"

"Well, uh, n-not exactly," you shrug, "j-just family s-stuff."

"Family... so you won't be able to go over the script? I just got your edits."

"U-uh, y-yeah, if you want to, I c-can grab my l-laptop," you offer and turn your back to the room.

"I'd prefer it if we could meet. I'm more of a face-to-face person."

"O-old-fashioned," you comment. You regret that he exhales deeply on the other end. "S-sorry, I o-only meant--"

"You're right. I'm old-fashioned. Not a bad thing," he insists, "so, is it too late? Should we find another time?"

"T-tomorrow?"

"I'm going out of town for the weekend," he huffs, "I really want to have this ready to record when I get back."

"R-right," you chew your thumb, a sudden bawling tears through the air as you spin around and find your nephew stuck under the tree. Oh no! "Oh, sh-shoot."

You cover the microphone as you lower the phone. Your sister rushes in, your mother at her heels as they squeal. You watch helpless as she fishes Casey from under the fir branches, "you were supposed to be watching them," she accuses.

"I-I was?"

"Oh, come on, you know, I barely get a minute to myself and you can't just keep an eye on two kids? Ugh, no job and you can't be bothered just to look," she snarls.

They're not your kids. You flutter your lashes as you fight back tears and that smart remark.

"I actually h-have a c-call from m-my new job," you hold out your phone and wiggle it at her, "I d-don't b-babysit f-for free."

She scoffs and your mom tuts as she shakes her head. They don't even care. No congratulations but they can constantly throw your unemployment in your face. You take a breath and roll your eyes.

"S-sorry, I g-got to go," you turn and drag your feet out of the room.

"Well, she didn't say she had a job," your mother mutters as your sister grumbles back, "about time."

You ignore them as you head upstairs. It's better you let your sister bask in her spotlight. You weren't looking forward to dinner anyhow. Not for anything more than the hunger groaning in your stomach. You put the phone back to your ear.

"A-are you there? S-sorry, I g-got distracted."

"Really, if you're busy--"

"N-no, I n-need to get a-away," you say.

You're silent at the confession. You didn't mean to sound so pathetic. You go down the hall to your room and find a sweater.

"Well, uh, how about we meet at the cafe? Middle ground. You like that place?"

"Up t-to you," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

"You need a ride?" He asks, to your surprise.

You pause as you grip the bright pink wool in your hand, "N-no, I'll f-find my way." You swallow and lay the sweater on your bed, "uh, b-bye."

You hang up before he can respond. You're embarrassed. He probably heard all of that and more. And now you've gone and betrayed your stupid self to him. Of all people. He doesn't need to know you're a complete failure. You hate to accept it but you have to; you need him more than he needs you. So maybe you'll just change the damn thesis after all.

🩶

You get to the coffee shop with snow caked on your hat and in the collar of your coat. You shake it off just outside and enter, your cheeks and nose kissed with the cold. As much as you love the winter, it's a bit much. You let out a brrr as you pull of your mitts and tuck them inside your hat. You hear your name and glance over. It's him, he's beat you there.

You tramp over to him as the snow melts off your boots and you wave, setting your bag in the chair as you unbutton your coat.

"Didn't m-mean t-to take too l-long," you say.

"Hot chocolate shouldn't be that cold," he assures you. You wince and look at the table. Sure enough, there's a second cup.

"O-oh, you d-didn't have t-to--"

"It's fine, not a big deal," he shakes his head.

You nod and hang your coat over the back of the chair and tuck away your mittens and hat in the sleeve. You sit and bring your bag into your lap. You flip up the flap and pull out your laptop, chilly from the walk there. You sense him watching you. You leave your computer shut as you lay it out and reach for the hot chocolate. You give it a taste and hum, thanking him.

"Sounds like a rough day," he comments.

"Y-yeah, b-but you d-don't have to w-worry about it," you assure him, glancing around evasively. When is he going to start being mean?

"You got kids?" He asks.

You have to hold in your laughter. "Sister's k-kids," you explain, "n-not for m-me."

"Ah," he accepts and reaches for his coffee, "right. Makes sense."

You keep your eyes down. You don't want to get too personal. Feels like he's just being polite, likely because he feels bad for you, not about his previous behavior.

"Don't got any either," he leans forward, his thick fingers hugging his cup, "so, your new draft was... great."

"R-really?" You lift your gaze meekly.

"Yeah, yeah, I just have a few notes," he sits back to bend down to the bag at his feet, "thanks for coming so last minute.”

You open your laptop, trying not to show any emotion. It's kind of him but you just don't believe it's anything other than pity.

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Ok, LISTEN. I'm about half way through seven minuets in heaven pt.2, but because I'm working on it while watching season 2, I got SatoSugu on my mind. so...

Now Presenting...

A little SatoSugu themed supplementary material.

Ok, so let's start standard 

Suguru is a psychology major with a minor in musical performance 

Satoru is a theoretical physics major with no minor because "ew, minors."

Suguru joined the ABO frat because fraternity housing is wayyy fucking cheaper than living in the dorms. Plus, easy access to booze.

Gojo did it for the memes and cause his best friend was joining. 

Suguru is for sure an alcoholic and in denial about it

Gojo smoked weed once and won't shut up about it. He does take a weak ass edible every once in awhile to sleep though.

Gojos tolerance is absolutely shit. Two shots and three puffs in and he is gone!

Suguru on the other hand could drink an entire bottle of tequila and smoke 12 joints and only really be kinda buzzed. 

Suguru is definitely in denial about his bisexuality. Everything that he does with Gojo is just for female attention, ya know?

Especially when they're making out alone in their shared room. That's definitely for attention. Source:just trust me bro

Gojo is very comfortable in his pansexuality, and has been known to use "are you a frying pan? Cause you're so fucking hot" as a pickup line.

Ok, now for their background!

Suguru and Gojo actually grew up together, and are the closest anyone can get to childhood friends,

Which morphed into the well documented phenomenon of an all too intense friendship that blurs the line of friends and dating, where if one of them were the opposite gender they would totally be together, but because they’re both boys there using that as a shield to avoid confronting their identities beyond the default settings

They were each other's first kiss 💋 

Gojo actually had really kind and loving parents who were very supportive. 

Sugurus' mom died when he was young though, leaving him and his dad to struggle. His dad wasn't necessarily bad, but he did have to work constantly and therefore wasn't home often.

Gojo was naturally smart and school came very easy to him. Meanwhile, Suguru struggled a lot, specifically with anything math related. 

This led to Gojo, with his great grades and generational wealth, being able to go to basically any college he wanted to. 

He still decided to go to the local community College in the end, at least to get his gen-eds and the first few years of his major out of the way at a heavily discounted price.

Yea, Suguru had no such opportunity, his options were community College or to start working with his dad as a mechanic immediately. 

And while he's not opposed to the idea of working with his father, and will even work with him for some extra spending money in the summers, he really wanted to give the whole higher education thing a shot. 

He's very proud to be in his community College, as he's the first person in his family to even attempt to get a degree

Now, here's how they are in a relationship because you can't have just one.

These boys have historically shared everything: their hot wheels, their Xbox, their bed, and their women. You are no exception. Lucky you 💜💙

When it comes to the three of you together, you find the boys actually work extremely well as a unit.

Where one struggles, the other thrives. Gojo isn't great when it comes to emotional venting and stuff, always looking to "fix" it.

Suguru is better at actually listening and only offering advice when you ask. He’s always willing to just cuddle and listen.

Suguru is terrible to try and watch movies with, he gets bored so fast. Meanwhile Gojo is obsessed with movies. 

Gojos fixer attitude also comes in clutch whenever you need to get something done, but just do not have it in you to do it. Need to call a doctor but have phone anxiety? Gojos your man.

Suguru craves to be the primary partner for both you and Gojo. Yes he's aware this is irrational, no he's not sure what to do about it. All he knows is that he gets jealous when he sees you with Gojo, and has to find ways to cope.

To his credit, he's never made this a problem for anyone other than himself, and he is actively working on it. 

Gojo on the other hand fucking loves to see you and Suguru spending time together. Those are his two favorite people in the god damn world, aren't they cute?!

Sugurus love language is music. He'll make you playlists, old fashioned mix tapes, and has forced you to listen to vinyl with him. He's written songs about you too, though he's too shy to show them off.

Will play his guitar for you only when asked because he knows the optics of 'frat guy with a guitar' are not ideal.

Gojo shows his love by sharing his candy. Splitting a Kit Kat, giving you a handful of skittles, sharing a sleeve of oreos. If Gojo shares his sweets with you he wants to marry you.

They two of you bond by baking together. You buy new cute molds and cookware together and set up entire spreads based on one theme.

Suguru was probably the first one to be in your life: I.E. the one that you agreed to date before realizing (and agreeing to) the package deal.

But Gojo said I love you first. He feels everything at 100% and hides none of it.

He said it loudly and in front of the rest of the frat, showing you off to everyone. 

When Suguru said it for the first time though, it was quiet; whispered to you late at night while you were curled up in his arms.

Both of the boys are massive cuddle bugs!

You call them Sugubear and Satotoro. Gojo loves it and Suguru does too, but he pretends he doesn't. 

[blu3-ja3]

Hello! So I want to establish O'Connor a bit more and how she views each member of the 141. All of these will be in first person not my typical 3rd person limited. We're going youngest to oldest so Soap up first.

!TRIGGER WARNING! Panic Attacks, Misguided Grief

1) Smart but Forgetful

Soap is a smart young man, in a way that's terrifying at time. I've watched MacTavish make a bomb from fertilizer, random metal scrap and a broken lighter. Ghost seemed turned on proud of his sergeant on that particular mission. It never fails to amaze me to watch MacTavish work out how much it would take for him to level a building. But he also has a nasty habit of not wearing proper protective gear when dealing with demolitions on and off the field. On the field I can let it slide but when we're on base it worries me to no end.

I've scolded him a great many times before I just started scolding Ghost as well. More often than not the two were together when Soap goes about his explosive work. Price found it hilarious that I've made it a rule that everyone has to carry a set of closed fingered gloves for Soap, that way if they're on field with the man and he starts his work they can give him the gloves so I don't have to treat chemical burns that could easily be prevented.

2) A Simple Gesture

The first time the young sergeant saw my scar he was kind and far more interested in my sleeve. It was late out. I couldn't sleep and figured working out until I was ready to collapse would be the best course of action. I was in a compression sports bra and sweats, I wasn't expecting anyone to be awake so I didn't bother wearing my typical long sleeve turtle neck. I was distracted and didn't notice Soap appearing in the door to the workout room.

"Who did your ink Cap?"

"JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH! MacTavish where the hell did you come from?" I practically jumped out of my skin as I turned around.

"My room? You okay Doc? You seem a bit jumpy." Soap tilted his head to the side with a concerned smile on his face. I suddenly felt very aware of the fact that the sergeant could see my discolored and scared arm and body.

"I'm fine, I'll just leave you to your work out sergeant." I made a move to grab my bag and leave

"Wait! Captain I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I can leave. I was just curious about your sleeve. I've seen some glimpses of it, I'd like a better look but it makes you uncomfortable then I'll leave." Soap offered with a shy smile

" My son, William, drew most of them." I relaxed a bit as Soap approached

"He's an incredible artist, would it be okay if I got a closer look?" Soap asked as he gestured to my arm.

"Would you like to help yourself to one of his sketchbooks? I have one in my office if you'd like to get a better look." I laughed as Soap took my left arm turning it staring intently at the pieces.

"If Will doesn't mind, I don't want to intrude."

I smiled "I'm fairly sure he wouldn't mind Suds"

3) A Mother's Grief

It hurts how similar Soap can be to William, both are incredible artist who are constantly doodling on any scrap of paper. But the similarities didn't seem to stop there, they're both terribly smart and passionate. They care deeply for those they've befriended and had a mischievous streak to them. I think often about what kinda of shenanigans the two would get up to with the other sergeants.

At times though it hurts to be around the young man. He makes me wonder what William would be like as he got older. I cried for hours the night Soap called me, mom. I felt guilty, so incredibly guilty. I thought I was replacing Will with the young sergeant and it killed me. I went to Price after another night of tears and guilt.

"Maevis you alright?"

"No, no I'm really not John."

"What's wrong? Did Oliver do something?"

" No, Jesus, it's about Sergeant MacTavish."

John tensed "What about him O'Connor?"

" He called me, mom last night, he was having a rough go of it. I found him and did what I could, I eventually took him back to his barracks. I tried to convince myself he just called me ma'am but Soap has never called me Ma'am. I feel like I'm being eaten alive by guilt! Like I've replaced William without me realizing. How could I? Will was... Is my baby, he's my boy. I love him! How could I do that to him?" Tears streamed down my face I couldn't stand to look at John.

"Oh Maevis, you muppet. You've done nothing wrong. You still love William, I know you do because you still have the charm made of his ashes. MacTavish called you mom because you did what you always do. You're a care taker Maeve, a mother by instinct and you treat everyone like your child. You haven't replaced your son, you would have done the same thing if Will was alive. You're being too hard on yourself Maevis." John had pulled me into a hug until I finally stopped shaking.

"We both know if Will was here he'd be instant friends with the boys. And he'd hold no ill will towards you being a mother to them."

"Yes you're right, you're always right John."

4) An Artistic Collaboration

Soap is constantly coloring in the tattoos on both mine and Ghost's arms. He was a very tactile person, constantly platonically touching everyone in the 141. MacTavish was quick to notice the missing piece on my sleeve, a decent sized spot above my wrist.

"So what's going there Doc?"

"Well it was ment to be another piece William was drawing specifically for me but he never got around to it. There are simple sketches in his last sketch book but nothing finished."

"Do you mean the horse?"

I nodded in confirmation as Soap turned my arm to start coloring another tattoo with the skin safe markers he was given by Roach.

"Yeah, I wanted to get a kelpie or an undead unicorn. William was enthralled by the idea and wanted to draw it for me. He uh... You know..."

"Yeah, if you'd like I could finish it for you. Why the clovers as filler? It makes coloring you so difficult!"

"I like clovers, used to call Will my lucky clover. Sergeant?"

Soap looked up from where he was focusing on my arm, his hand stilling as he removed the light green marker from my skin.

"If you'd like to, I'd be honored to have your artwork complete my sleeve." I watched as MacTavish's eye lit up with excitement.

"You're not joking Cap? You'd get my art tatted on you?" I nod smiling as the sergeant moved to grab his leather sketchbook.

" Id still like the undead unicorn or kelpie but you're free to do what you'd like with the concept... Are you going to finish coloring my arm or am I going to walk around with a half colored arm?" Soap waved his hand at me as he continued to draw. I chuckled before getting up to leave to go do my rounds.

5) Motherly Advice

I'm sitting in my office filling out paperwork and going through the medical bay inventory. I see my door open from the corner of my eye. I see the tall tale mohawk of one sergeant MacTavish

"How's she cuttin' Suds?"

"Um Mom? Can I ask you a question?" I smiled a bit at the name before calming myself. The boys only call me mom, outside of the usual teasing, if something was serious.

"What's wrong Johnny Boy?" I turned to face the man , setting down my pen as the scott sat across from me.

"You've been in a relationship before right Doc?"

"Um well yes but it wasn't the best example of a relationship..."

"I know but it was with a man, yeah?"

"... Yes? MacTavish can I ask what's this about? Because it may be better to ask Price, lad"

" How did you know you were gay?!" MacTavish seemed to be flustered as his cheeks were a bright pink.

"You were married to a man, yeah? And now you look at so of many of the nurses with such infatuation or at least you stare at any woman like she's the best view you've ever seen! I know what that means Doc.... So how did you know? Cause for most of my life I liked Bonnies but Gho- someone has made me question everything!"

"Tav my boy deep breaths yeah, do you want me to be honest?" Soap nodded furiously.

"I don't know, Oliver was my only partner for a very long time... I was only 16 when we started dating, got married just before I was deployed at 18 and I divorced him when I was 20. I didn't date while I was raising Will, I was so busy being a single mom while active duty, I was recovering from this," I gestured to my heavily scared body. " Then Will passed, I couldn't bring myself to go out let alone date... But you're right I taken a liking to many of the lassies I've seen. But I truly don't know if that makes me gay."

" Is it only ladies that catch your attention?"

"It seems so, yes... But why ask me John? Why not talk to Kyle or Price, the two who are in a very openly gay relationship. Both of them are most definitely more qualified in both regards..." I mumble the last bit.

" I don't know, you were the first person I thought of. "

" Let me ask you this then. This someone, does he make you happy?"

"Yes..."

"Do you trust him?"

"More than anyone I've ever met."

" Then what does it matter if you're gay, straight, bi, whatever?"

"What if he doesn't like me back?"

"You're talking about Ghost, right?"

Soap blushes furiously before replying "Yes I'm talking about Ghost... "

" I know he's not the most expressive or forthcoming but he's different with you John. You know that right?"

Soap nods before something seems to click, he stood up rapidly and rushed towards my office door.

"I'm sorry, I've just remembered something I've gotta go! THANK YOU FOR THE TALK DOC!" Soap's voice echoed down the hall.

A few days later, Ghost and Soap made an announcement that they are dating.

"Wait, you weren't before?" Roach asked

"No, what made you think that?" Soap asked

"Well you were constantly leaving the Lieutenant's room after some very... Loud activities..." Roach smirked "You two seem to forget who's barracks are next to Ghost's!"

It was evident even through Ghost's mask that the man was blushing.

"Oh quite your teasing Roach! Honestly we're happy for you boys, you two deserve happiness!" I smile sweetly at the two young men.

I'm happy that everyone has found someone, and while I'm happy to have helped the young sergeant he's helped me realize my neglect towards myself and my relationships.

[gowns]

i have made a very funny journey w/ autism which is like...

growing up, mom always tells me she thinks i'm autistic or (90s euphemism pop psychology thing) that i have "einstein syndrome"

and yet she never gets me tested

various accommodations are made for me in school - i am clearly "smart" but also kinda just "doing my own thing" and the teachers are either annoyed but give in to my mom browbeating them, or give me good grades for thinking outside of the box

(various cycles of hyperfixations and limerence and burn out later)

one of my best friends realizes they are autistic and we see the world the same way so we both go "hmm" about that for a while

i maintain i couldn't possibly be autistic because i have worked with high-needs autistic people* *i also tend to be very adept at working with autistic people

i notice that my older child (whose personality is identical to mine as a kid) seems to show signs of high functioning autism

eventually read devon price and other books and take the tests and etc and i'm like hmm ok i guess i have autism

by this point i am so keenly Aware that i am Neurodivergent and maybe that's why i seem to operate in a different reality than a lot of other people, that it seems hard to remember a time when i thought i was "normal" and trying hard to be "normal"

like now i'm just owning being an odd duck and needing my funny little ways of recharging and having fun

and now i find i'm actually a bit annoyed at various influencers who talk about discovering that they have autism because sometimes they don't want to go to parties or w/e and i'm like. "hmm. but is this the same flavor as the thing i have? idk what kind you have but i'm clearly on another level of it."

(very silly, i went to gatekeeping one side of the gate to gatekeeping on the other side of the gate. hahaha.)

anyway, i try not to be judgmental, it's just interesting that autism and adhd are en vogue right now. #relateable.

i still maintain that the bigger problem is Society. like, having tiny computers in our pockets combined w/ unreasonable employers who want you to be Focused on a Task for 8 hours are definitely doing things to our brains and making us feel deficient if we can't do Productive things. and then the pings. ping. ping. ping. check this. do that. ping. ping. ping.

and then it's like -- when people figure they must be neurodivergent because they take a moment to pause and dip out of the constant noise and they're like whoa i feel better for a moment -- well of course, taking a nap in the middle of the day feels good. it feels good to spend some time alone and in solitude when most of your day is responding to PINGS. and guess what, microdosing meth feels good, weed feels good, looking at wikipedia or reddit instead of doing work feels good, etc etc. the fact that adderall feels good =/= your brain works "different" or is "defective" in some way.

ok. you're probably different. sure.

it's like the same basic question of literature, theatre, art, of the last 400-odd-years, what is a human, what makes me tick, why do i feel a separation between me and others, what is that other person even thinking, why are we both looking at each other like "you're insane"? why are the motivations and inner workings of this other person so inscrutable, and mine are so comfortable and infinitely knowable?

--

however. all that being said. i think it may eventually come to a point where more people are considered neurodivergent than neurotypical, and hopefully, you would think, that would mean more accommodations, which would mean society as a whole would be more accommodating towards disability.

but i fear that on the other end, it may end up in situation where otherwise-typical people with an immense amount of privilege (e.g. average white americans) figure out how to weaponize incompetence (so to speak) and automate more labor away from them and giving the global lower classes more grunt work to shoulder. all while not acknowledging the true source of that "i don't belong" feeling ... and creating more alienation ... hmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMM

--

all that being said, it's fun to share autistic memes with friends

[on-leatheredwings]

i've found your account only a few days ago but ever since then I've been STUCK here rereading your fanfics, especially ones with damian. i wasn't even a dc fan (heard about some stuf, watched some films and cartoons, but that's it) but now im reading comics since im Obsessed and need more batboys in my life (rip my productivity😔)

Anyway, after Sleepover i'm curious what will Bruce (and maybe even Thalia) think of batboys strange behaviour towards reader. He's smart, so he definitely notices it early on, but how he'll react....

I can see him being weirded out (like he was by Jason's anger issues, before his death), but he also can be an enabler, since Robin (literaly any of them) had a hard life, so if those relationships can help him why not pretend that everything is normal? you'll be safer in a Wayne's Manor anyway

All in all, thanks for a new hyperfixation 💞💞

P.s. About games:

1. Boyfriend to death 1&2 - since you're into yanderes you might want to check this game out. I prefer the second game, but the first is also fun. But beware the trigger warnings!!

2. Long live the Queen - more of a raising sim than dating sim but you still can romance some guys and girls.

,3. Hatoful Boyfriend - mostly a comedy, but there is a yandere.

4. The Royal Trap - it's been a long time since i played it, but it used to be one of my favorites so i'll just mention it.

5. Higurashi - once again not really a romance sim, but its an interesting horror mixed with a slice of life

;A; AWWWW THANK YOU IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY STUFF.... THAT MAKES ONE OF US GIJSDOFAFGHFOJDSD

and yes yes get into DC!!! (girl who hasnt even read a full run since like. injustice)

damn now you got me thinking and excited. incoming spiel

i agree entirely about bruce just knowing how Bad things can get, so to make things simpler, he's like "yes, your darling(s) can stay in the manor, boys. 🙄"

mmm yes..... when it comes to bruce noticing the batboys are yandere, i think it's always sinfully delightful to just have him be reluctantly okay with it. 😈 it's also easier narratively ngl but i also like the idea that the batfam is all just corrupted.

bruce's thoughts are that they (his sons) fight for vengeance and justice but this is where they could use some leeway.... we all need our vice... they fight so hard for gotham, they deserve a little treat (getting rid of your human rights)... it's very "Dad who wants his sons to have happiness even if its not healthy" of him. in fics where bruce is a yandere, well, he's the exact same way so he can't judge. although if that's the case, i like the idea of bruce just being like "yes what we do isn't right. let's not talk about it. just don't kill <3"

still wondering what i like more. a yan!bruce who's self aware what he's doing is wrong but he just refuses to think about it. or a yan!bruce that justifies it all because of his paranoia, Tower of Babel style (if you don't know, that's when it's revealed batman has plans to subdue/kill the justice league just in case they go rogue.)

for the batboys depends on their personality... for damian, he's so resolute in things that i prefer when he just believes 100% what he's doing is okay, if not actually righteous. ^_^

hmmm talia.... I'M STILL UNSURE HOW I PREFER THAT AS WELL... i think talia being a you-arent-good-enough-for-my-son mom is a little cliche but also. she kinda would say that. you'd have to prove your worth somehow but idk how tf darling would do that LOL. in the end, i think talia is just relieved/comforted that her son indeed feels desire and wants love and will continue the family legacy (regardless if youre afab/can biologically have children.)

no THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!! AND THANKS FOR RECS!!!! heheh yeah ive checked out btd and im not averse to the warnings its more like im not that most of into the designs ngl. fox guy seems cute? AND LMAO FUNNY BC IM ON A HIGURASHI REWATCH (never played it tho)

[crusty-chronicles]

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho)

He likes to act like he's some callous tough guy, but really he's a huge softie.

Can get annoyed by your dullness, but other than that this boy is whipped

Yusuke is the furthest thing from book smart, but he's very street smart.

You on the other hand, aren't smart at all.

The amount of times he's had to pull you out of oncoming traffic is insane.

Not a single scratch on your either

But when HE wanders out in the street to get some kid's ball, he ends up getting hit by a car. 

Yusuke's known you since he and Keiko were in diapers. 

And even then he thought you were a strange kid.

I'm sorry? Did you just ask him if he could smell what purple tastes like??? While coloring with a red crayon?

You put your baby teeth under the bed? So the monsters don't get hungry???

No you cannot have some of his mother's ‘juice.’

He was never the best at making new friends, and you'd been around long enough for him to grow fond of your strange habits. So~he didn't mind you tagging along.

Especially when he'd reached junior high and his bad boy facade really ramped up.

Always getting into fights, always ditching school, always getting into trouble just because he could.

It should've come as no shock that you'd get after him for his behavior. Like the rest of the people in his life.

You'd caught him one day after school. Yusuke having been in a fight, which he of course was punished for by Iwamoto. Even though he wasn't the one that started it.

You had grabbed his arm, thinking he was skipping again.

But when he turned around you could see various scratches littering his face, along with a purple swelling under his eye.

“What happened?” You asked.

“None of your business.” He dismissed.

He was already having a bad day. He didn't need you to accidentally make it worse. Yet as always, you didn't seem to get the hint.

“Did you get into a fight?”

“I said it was none of your business.” He snapped before adding, “Not like I need another lecture today.” 

Keiko had chewed him out enough, and he still had his mom to deal with at home. And now you wanted to nag him too? Great. Just great.

He waited for the inevitable “How could you be so careless!” And, “What were you thinking!”

Instead he was met with silence.

He looked up and noticed your hurt expression before you turned to leave.

Instantly he started to panic.

For whatever reason, he couldn't stand to see you upset at him. You, who always had something to say with your dopey smile. Who always tried to help even if you didn't know how.

No, he didn't like your downcast expression at all.

So this time it was him stopping you.

“Hey! I didn't mean it like that…Look, I got jumped, okay? But I put those bastards in their place, so don't worry about it.” He decided to test his luck and hug you.

When you didn't tense up or pull away, he allowed himself to relax against you.

 “Let's just go home.” 

“Okay…Wait, does that mean we're having a sleepover?”

He gave a small laugh before grabbing your hand and leading you to his house.

Safe to say he's got a huge soft spot for you.

Your spirit awareness is even higher than Kuwabara’s.

You were probably the only person who could see Yusuke's ghost floating around after he died.

Asking him “why are you haunting my house?” 

He figures he might as well explain his situation, much to Botan's dismay. But when was he to ever care about the rules.

It's during that time he finally gets to see you fight.

10/10 your biggest cheerleader.

He'd asked you to watch over Kuwabara when the doofus had promised not to fight for a whole week.

You two got along well, which wasn't surprising considering you had not a single brain cell to spare for hostility.

It wasn't long before the two of you were cornered by a rival junior high gang. You'd told Kuwabara to run on ahead and that you'd catch up.

That was when the leader decided to run his mouth. What would inevitably be his undoing.

“Now that Urameshi’s dead, this turf is ripe for the taking.”

It was probably the first time Yusuke's ever seen you actually mad.

“What did you say?” 

One minute. That's all it took for you to beat the gang of seven.

Using one of them like a bowling ball and throwing him towards the rest of them.

All the while Yusuke is cheering in the background above you.

“Aim for the kneecaps! You got them, Y/n! Toss the bastard again!”

He's very proud of you. And his pride only swells when your strength grows along with his.

Joining the dark tournament and still kicking ass. Winning most of your matches with hardly a scratch. Except for Toguro. We don't talk about that shhhh!

Like I said he can get annoyed, but he usually puts up really well with your antics.

You call Kurama rose boy, not because of his powers, but because as you put it, “His hair’s the color of roses.”

It fits, but for the wrong reasons.

You steal Hiei's bandage around his eye, and Yusuke is practically fighting for his life to stop him from attacking you.

“You're supposed to look someone in the eyes when you talk to them. All your eyes.”

And he's crying trying to stop his laughter before Hiei sets his sights on him next.

You once mimicked his spirit gun with your hand and actually shot out a beam.

His mother never did let him live it down with the huge hole in the ceiling.

The realization he liked you wasn't some great build up or special moment. 

He just woke up one day and decided it was you. 

His reason for trying to be a little better as a person. Why he was fighting so hard during both tournaments. Why he was so willing to die in his battle with Sensui.

He doesn't get the chance to confess. No…You do it first.

Right after he'd won and became in control of his body after defeating Sensui, you wrapped your arms around him and kissed him.

Pressing your forehead softly to his.

“I'm so happy you're okay.”

Yusuke can get jealous, especially if the other person doesn't get the hint.

And if someone's flirting with you before you're together. 

He likes to glare over your shoulder until they get nervous and leave. Then he'll feign an innocent look when you turn around.

But if he's with people he trusts, he doesn't bat an eye. They know he'll throw down over your affections.

Yusuke can be romantic, but only when he really tires. Usually he prefers to tease you.

Expect to be called: babe, baby, sugar, hot stuff, and if he's feeling really vulnerable- sweetheart.

If he wants to be a menace to everyone around him he'll slip in a ‘pookiebear.’ But never unironically.

You know how he proposes to Keiko at the end of the series?

With you he knows a normal proposal won't work. So he just kinda puts the idea out there.

“You're gonna have to buy your own cups when we're married. It's getting harder and harder to find ones that fit with our house’s aesthetic.”

"We should have a beach house wedding, dont’cha think? Maybe Hiei will finally show up that way."

“Y/n? You mean my wife/husband? The love of my life?”

And it pays off.

You bring him a little box one day and tell him to open it.

Inside is a small gold ring.

“I found a ring so we can be married for real!” 😃

Yup, you're definitely the one. You and your small brain and big heart.

MASTERLIST

AN: I'm gonna try and balance out my hxh and yu yu hakusho fics so everyone eats good. 👀👀👀

[the-copycat-hero]

In my mind, Monoma knows how to pickpocket, do sleight of hand, roll a coin across his knuckles, all that good stuff :D I also hc him to have voluntary nystagmus. No particular reason, I just 100% think Monoma would use that skill to freak people out

Also I hc him to be friends with Hatsume Mei. Each time he visits he brings a whole packet of papers, diagrams, analytics of quirks and how they relate to their costumes, and Mei def eats it up EVERY TIME. She also has him try quirks she needs for the equipment whenever possible. They’re smart kids :>

What do you like seeing most in monoma fics/fan work and what do you want to see more of? Any relationships (romance or gen) you like? Also I’m very curious about the Monoma family 👀 Clearly they don’t seem to keep in touch. What does Monoma say when he’s asked about them? Is it something he keeps under wraps or are most of his friends aware

!!!!!!! Big Brain Takes! Massive!

sleight of hand (and other assorted part trick) Monoma is near and dear to my heart, and i could definitely see him being able to do Some Sorta Nonsense with his body like voluntarily vibrate his eyes. i could see him being double jointed, too. (he is a Bendy Boy.)

ALSO the fact that Monoma and Hatsume never interacted in any meaningful way will haunt me until i die. they are so smart, and they are such freaks (/pos). their aura would have been so powerful. maybe too powerful? i guess Hori had to nerf them somehow.

as far as fanworks go, i am a massive fan of any fic that has Monoma showcasing his quirk. (for example, Learning Curve has a fantastic scene with a training exercise/mock battle that i frequently go back to because it is So Peak to me.)

as far as things i'd like to see more of, i'd kill for more introspective pieces of Monoma learning how to adjust after the war. (let me see him talk to Bakugo, who he watched die! let me see him talk to Aizawa, who tried to protect him!!!) i'm hoping some more of that will come with time as the anime draws closer to the end, but i suppose we shall see.

romance-wise, i'm big on Monoshin and have been since season 2. the fact that it used to be a rarepair floors me. (really played the long game on that one). that being said, i could honestly read about Monoma with almost any other student, his personality is just that much fun to me. apart from Monoshin, i've been seeing quite a bit of Timebomb and Monoma/Pony on my timeline, and i find both so incredibly charming.

platonically: Kendo. Shinsou. Tokage. Mei. Honenuki. Bakugo (especially after the war). ERI. Vlad and/or Aizawa. slap Monoma in an interaction with any of them and i am Locked In.

FINALLY, the Monoma family. (man, the Monoma family.) @smallvictorianchildwhofoundwifi and i have constructed pages upon pages of lore for these human disasters, but i'll try to keep it brief:

Monoma's dad (still need a name) - only ever agreed to have a child in the first place because his side of the family was pressing for it. resents Neito for reasons that i'll probably dig into later - but as long as Neito isn't actively making a mockery of the family name, his dad really can't be bothered to think about him.

Monoma's mom (Hiromi) [PRE WAR] - had Neito when she was young (around 21 years old) because, again, her husband's side of the family was insistent. she adored him at first sight; however, she has had to make a lot of changes to appease her husband's side of the family over the years, and it has turned her into a harsher, colder person overall. every once and a while, she'll be struck with fondness for her son, but it never lasts for long before she goes back to being made of ice. maybe also unconsciously resents Neito some for marking the end of her old life.

Hiromi (cont) [Post-War] - determined to reconnect with her son after almost losing him in the final battle. has made so many mistakes that it seems impossible, but Neito got his tenacity from someone, and it certainly wasn't his father.

Monoma's class knows next to nothing about his family. even Kendo, who has known Monoma for a long while, has precious little information to go off of.

some of the girls in Monoma's class stumble across a picture of Monoma's mother from one of her last modeling shoots, but when they ask him about her, Monoma just tells them that he has his mother to thank for his dashing good looks and leaves it at that. Ittaka - Monoma's old caretaker (and pseudo-older sister) - comes to visit him once, and his classmates briefly think that his real mother must have died until Kendo corrects them (because she may not know much about the Monomas, but she knows that they are all still kicking). but that's about all they've got.

tldr; trying to wrangle a straight answer out of Monoma regarding his family is impossible.

[jpmarvel90]

Don't let me down - part 2

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Part 1

Relationship: MamaScarlett x 16 yr old Reader

Summary: Will Y/n decide to be fostered by Scarlett and Colin?

Word count: 5339

Y/n's POV:

"Scarlett, I don't know." I admit, dropping my head. This is all too much right now. In the last three hours everything in my life has turned completely upside down. I've met my biological mom, the truth behind the abuse we've suffered at the hands of Mr Woodstock has come out, and now we're all being moving to new homes. In my case, my biological mother's home.

"We met less than three hours ago. We were meant to be getting to know each other first. Now I'm meant to just move in with you and your family." I say, trying to keep my breathing calm, but not succeeding. Scarlett carefully steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, look at me. Can you take a couple of deep breaths for me?" She asks quietly. She takes exaggerated breaths herself and I try to match her, which is difficult when I can see the stare of Colin and Danny on me.

"There you go. You're doing such a good job." She compliments me when I manage to get my breathing back under control. She gives me a small smile and steps back slightly to give me space again, something that I'm grateful for. "I know this is all a lot to take in right now. But we can still get to know each other. We won't rush anything. But I meant what I said.  We would like to adopt you. I'm aware that I can't make up for the decision I made 16 years ago, especially considering the impact it's had on your life. But I'd like to try and make up for it now and make sure that you are safe and happy." She explains to me. I look at her face, trying to see if there is a lie in there, but when I can't find one, I let out a sigh.

My mind is torn. On one side, I  don't know what I want when it comes to my relationship with Scarlett. We were supposed to get time to do this the right way. Spend some time together, know more about the other. This is all so rushed and what if she spends time with me and doesn't like me? I'll be back to where I am now, waiting for my next home.

But on the other hand, I don't know what would happen to me if I'm moved to another group home this evening. Would I stay there, would it just be temporary. What if they're no better than Mr Woodstock? At least with Scarlett I'd be safe right? Almost as if he can sense my turmoil, Danny steps forward now and gains my attention.

I like Danny, for some reason I feel completely safe around him. He has kind eyes and I get the idea that he's a person that spends his time helping others. "Your placement with Scarlett is just for a couple days until we can get their foster status assessed by a judge on Monday. I know that's not long to establish a relationship between you both, but I can see you're a smart girl. You've spent your life having to act older than you are. You'll know in that time if it's somewhere you feel safe and if you want to continue living there if they get their foster status approved." He explains calmly, though I can see Scarlett glaring daggers at him for even suggesting it. Which makes me fight to hide a giggle.

"She's glaring at me, isn't she?" He asks at a whisper, a smirk on his face. I nod, laughing, which takes Scarlett by surprise. "You've got my number, if you ever feel uncomfortable, you call me, and I'll be there." He offers, returning back to the serious discussion. "Ok, we'll see how things go this weekend." I say, sighing as my brain isn't sure if this is the right decision. But by the looks on Scarlett's face she couldn't be happier.

"Why don't we go and collect your things from your room. Then you can head off." Danny suggests, pointing towards the house. I nod and lead them on the way. As we're climbing the stairs, I can see that Scarlett and Colin are looking around. It's not the nicest of places. It's run down and there are too many kids that are living here for the space there is.

I direct them to the room that I share with 4 other girls. "I don't have much." I mumble as I point to my bed. "That's ok, do you have any bags?" Scarlett asks, her eyes glossy as they look over the room. "Uh, everything I have is in that box and I have some clothes in the wardrobe which I can fit in my duffle." I explain. "Ok, well, you point out what you want to take, and we can pack it up. Colin, can you take the box?" Scarlett directs, taking control.

I grab the couple of things from my bedside table and go to put them in my box. "Who's that?" Colin asks when he spots a photo in my hand. A smile grows on my face. "That's Laura. She's my best friend." I reply. I love this photo. We're in our soccer kit and she's on my back cheering as we had just won the match. (A/n: I just have to say how hard it is writing soccer when I'm English! Please understand the pain lol!)

I notice Colin smirk and I raise an eyebrow at him, but she shrugs and goes back to making sure everything in the box is secure. "You play soccer?" Scarlett asks me with a smile. "Yeah, I joined at the start of last year. I love it." I share, a smile now appearing on my own face. "Rose is going to love you. She's just started playing. She'll love being able to play with you." Scarlett shares as if it's the most natural thing. But for me, it's a reminder to me that she has a ready made family. That thought makes my smile disappear in an instance.

With everything packed up, we head downstairs. It's sad that everything I own in life fits in a box and a duffle bag. But I try not to dwell on that. Life isn't determined by what we own. "Ok, well I've spoken with the social worker. They're happy for you to leave. I'll be in contact tomorrow when I have a confirmed appointment with the judge." Danny says, returning to us. "Thanks Danny." Scarlett says, pulling him in to a hug.

Colin shakes his hand and then he turns his attention to me. "Remember what I said kid. I'm at the end of the phone if you need me." Danny says places a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Thank you. For helping us. You saved a lot of kids today." I point out to him, but he shakes his head. "No Y/n. Your bravery saved those kids" He corrects, making my gaze drop. Maybe if I had talked to someone sooner, I could have stopped them having to go through the same pain.

Scarlett brings me from my thoughts and guides me towards their car. Colin puts my things in the trunk whilst Scarlett holds the door open for me. I climb in and see the child seat next to me. "Are the kids at home?" I ask, realising that I might be having to meet them this evening. "No, I've asked my mom to have them for a couple of days until we know more about the situation. I don't want to overwhelm you." She responds, as Colin pulls away.

It's quite a long drive as we go through the city to the Upper East Side. I don't think I've ever been to this part of the city. I mean I've never had a reason too. I've certainly never known anyone who is rich enough to live here. They pull into a private under ground garage of a big townhouse.

I follow behind Scarlett and Colin and they enter the house. "Please make yourself at home. We'll show you to your room and then give you a tour around the house." Scarlett smiles at me. She seems more relaxed now we're in her home. But I've gone the other way. This is somewhere new and alien to me and my nerves have picked up.

After two flights of stairs, we stop at a door. "This will be your room." Scarlett informs me pushing the door open. "It's pretty boring, but you're welcome to decorate it how you like. We can go shopping next weekend perhaps to get some more personal things and some new clothes." She starts to excitedly ramble until Colin places a hand on her shoulder and raises an eyebrow at her. "Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. If you decide you want to stay, that is something you may wish to do." She corrects herself, her shoulders deflating.

Colin has placed my things on the bed and Scarlett is showing me the ensuite. "Colin and I's room is upstairs with the nursery that Cosmo is in. Rose's room is opposite yours." Scarlett notifies me, pointing towards a door with the letter R on it. "Let's show you around so you can make yourself comfortable." Colin jumps in sensing my change in demeanour.

We spend the next half an hour going around the house. It's incredible. I've never been in anything like it. But what surprises me is how homely it all feels. I can tell that it's lived in and made for living in. It's not some statement home. That makes me feel slightly more comfortable at least. "How about we order in for dinner. Do you like Chinese?" Colin asks and I nod. "Yeah, I'll eat anything. You don't get to be picky in a care home." I reply with a chuckle, but they don't see the humour in it, their faces dropping.

"Can I shower?" I ask and they both nod quickly. "Of course, there are toiletries in the bathroom along with towels. But let me know if you need anything. Otherwise, I'll come and get you when food is here." Scarlett smiles. I thank them and head back upstairs to my room. That sounds strange. I take a moment and sit on the bed. Letting the events of today sink in.

When I look up, I catch a glimpse of my black eye. Scarlett and Danny were pretty shocked when they saw that. If only they had seen what else he had done to me. I push up off the bed and make my way into the bathroom and turn the shower on to get to temperature.

I then slip out of my clothes and observe the bruises to my body. He really didn't like that a lawyer saw him drunk. Each kick or punch had a specific reason behind it. He got a bit carried away when he struck me in the face. He normally keeps to the body to hide the evidence.

Not wanting to look at myself anymore, I slip into the shower, allowing the hot water to stream over my body. Hoping that it might wash away some of the trauma from today. But it doesn't. Instead, my thoughts grow. I feel like I'm intruding on their family. There are pictures all over this house of them as a happy family. They were fine without me. Why do they need me now? Scarlett could have waited two years and I'd be an adult and she needn't worry anymore.

My mind spirals as I wonder if Scarlett really wants me to be part of her life. I know she said she did, but she wouldn't be the first adult to lie to me. But then when I looked at her, she seemed genuine. I'm second guessing myself and I hate it. I can't take the loudness of the voices in my head, so I finish up and wrap myself in a towel. I'm shocked by the fluffiness of it. I never knew a towel could be comforting. I'm used to a coarse worn towel.

Once dry, I slip into my sweatpants and hoody, letting it engulf my body. Thankfully, most of my clothes are clean, not that I have a lot. It was something Mr Woodstock was sure we kept on top of. Not because he wanted us comfortable, but a smelly foster kid would bring unwanted attention.

I sit on the bed with my back against the headboard, taking my phone and calling the one person I need right now. Laura. I fill her in on everything that has happened and it's safe to say that she's shocked. Considering just a few days ago, she was excited about my mother being THE Black Widow. She now has a strong distrust for Scarlett and wants to make sure that I'm ok.

I've liked Laura for a while. She is the only person that can make me smile on my darkest day. She is so kind and caring and I love every minute that I spend with her. I don't know if she feels the same way, but I don't care. I'm just grateful to have her in my life.

I knew I liked girls from a young age. I talked to my mom about it, but she wasn't happy and told me that it was just a phase and that I wasn't allowed to like girls. It earned me a beating for admitting it. I tried so hard to like boys instead, but it didn't work. So, I just hid how I felt. It wasn't really a problem at the start as I didn't have any friends, let alone anyone I liked. But once Laura came into my life, that all changed. But that is something to deal with later. I don't think I could add on rejection to everything else that has been happening.

Whilst we're talking, there's a knock at the door. "Come in." I say and Scarlett's head pokes around the door. "Dinner is here sweetheart." She smiles. "Ok, I'll be right down." I say, and it's then she notices my phone in my hand. "No rush. Take your time." She says and closes the door behind her.

I finish up my call with Laura and she promises that she'll meet me at cuppa Joe's tomorrow morning so I can talk to her before we have to see the judge. I just hope that Scarlett will let me go.

I hang up the phone and slowly make my way downstairs, pulling at the sleeves of my hoody nervously when I see them sitting in the dining room, a place set up for me. "Hi Y/n. Come and help yourself." Colin greets me, standing up and pulling my chair out for me. "Thank you." I respond, looking over the food on the table. "We didn't know what you'd like so we got a few different things." He explains the reason for the vast amount of food on the table.

Whilst they tuck in, I just sit waiting. Not really sure how to act. "Y/n, like Colin said, please help yourself. Eat as much as you like." Scarlett tells me with a warm smile. I hesitantly reach out for the sweet and sour chicken. I put a little bit on my dish and then grab a pork rib. "You're welcome to have more. As much as you like." Scarlett encourages me when she sees that I stop with a small amount on my plate.

Knowing that I'm safe here, or rather praying that I am, I take a few more spoonful's of food to try the different dishes. I notice that both Scarlett and Colin smile at the act and then start to eat their own food.

It's a bit awkward as we eat. No one really knows what to say. I'm still overwhelmed by everything and not even sure if I'll be staying here for long. Do I want to stay here more than a few days? How ungrateful do I sound. Any one of the kids in that home would kill to be in a place like this and here I am wondering if I do.

"I spoke with Danny, and he managed to get us in with a judge tomorrow afternoon at 4pm. There is nothing to worry about. They're reviewing our foster request and might ask you some questions on if you want to stay with us or not." Scarlett starts to explain, and I'm actually grateful that she's being open about this. "Of course, you don't have to feel like you have to stay here. Both Colin and I would love that. But we understand if you'd rather go to an alternative foster home." She follows up, but I can see the pain in her eyes as she suggests that. "Ok, thank you." Is all I can say. My mind is conflicted and I'm sure it'll be keeping me up tonight, so I'll have plenty of time to think things through.

After we've finished eating, I sit back in the chair. "Thank you for dinner. It was lovely." I tell them with a genuine smile. "You're welcome sweetie. I'm glad that you liked it." Scarlett returns. She seems to naturally use terms of endearment for me when talking and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. But if I'm honest with myself, it only makes me uneasy because I know deep down, I like it.

"Today has been a long day. Please don't feel like you have to stay up with us. You're more than welcome to head up to bed. But you're also welcome to join Colin and I in the living room. We'll probably just be watching some TV to unwind before bed." She informs me. I think for a moment, and I do feel tired. Although I know sleep won't come easily, I don't think I could cope with sitting with them at the moment.

"I think I'll head to bed and try and sleep if that's ok?" I ask and she nods. "Of course." She smiles. "Uh Scarlett?" I call her as I start to walk away from the table. "I uh. I was w-wondering. If I might uh. If I might be able to meet Laura at the café tomorrow morning?" I ask through a stutter. I have no idea how she's going to react to my request, and I can feel my palms getting sweaty.

"Oh Y/n. Please don't be nervous to ask anything like that. Of course, you can meet her. In fact, I can drop you off if you like? It would make me more comfortable to know you're safe, rather than you getting the subway." She responds and I let out a sigh of relief. "I uh. Thank you. That would be great." I respond. "No problem. Just let me know when you need to go." She tells me. I go to walk away again but stop as a question pops in my head. "Don't you have work tomorrow?" I ask her. She had mentioned that she is working on a project right now, which is why she was late on Friday.

"No. Colin and I have taken the week off so we can make sure you're settled." She replies and that seems to make me happy. No one's ever done anything like that for me before. "Ah ok. Right, well. I'm going to head to bed." I say, nodding my head towards the stairs. "Ok. Goodnight sweetheart." "Goodnight, Y/n." They both say at the same time.

I climb up the stairs and get changed into my pyjamas. I've never slept in a double bed before, and I feel a little lost in it. Though the duvet is so comfortable. I feel like I'm being engulfed in a good way.

I spend the night thinking through the pros and cons of staying with Scarlett. In the end, I decided that maybe it is best to stay. We can get to know each other whilst living together, right? I'm not sure that I could cope moving to another foster home and try to navigate a whole load of new people.

The only thought that is left niggling at the back of my mind is if things don't go well with Scarlett. What if I decide I don't want to stay, or she doesn't want me here? What if I don't fit into their family dynamic? Do I even want to be a part of that? Ok so I lied, I have more than one thought left niggling in my head. Besides, I may have no control if they're not approved for an emergency fostering certificate tomorrow.

By about 6am, I decide that I can't lie in bed anymore, as comfortable as it is, and TikTok is no longer able to entertain me. I decide that I'll change and head outside to the garden. It'll be nice to get some fresh air.

After brushing my teeth and finishing up the minimal parts to my morning routine, I move back into the bedroom to get dressed. I slip my top off and stand in the closet trying to figure what I want to wear to meet Laura later. My clothes look a little pathetic in this huge closet. I really don't have much to offer, but I decide on a loose band T and ripped jeans.

Before I have a chance to put the shirt on, I hear a gasp from behind me and a pair of cold hands on my side. I instantly flinch, cowering back into the closest away from the surprise touch.

Scarlett's POV:

It was strange having Y/n in the house. A good strange, but still strange none the less. The whole time we were with her, I could see her thoughts whizzing around her head at a million miles an hour. I wish I could do something to help reassure her that Colin and I are all in for this.

I know it's not ideal with her moving in with us like this. Don't get me wrong, I want nothing more than for her to be back with us. But I thought it would be after we built up a relationship after getting to know each other. Then on the other hand, I wouldn't want her anywhere else after what has happened to her.

Whilst Colin and I are watching TV, we discuss what we want to do over the next week, assuming we get to keep Y/n. We end up deciding on doing some simple things, not wanting to overwhelm her. From things like coffee shop visits or walks around the park. Time out of the house so we can talk, and I can learn more about what she likes. I'm desperate to learn more about what her interests are. I also can't wait to go and watch a soccer game of hers and meet Laura properly.

I have a feeling that she doesn't like me, and I can understand why. I'm glad that Y/n has someone that is so protective of her. It seems like she hasn't had many of those through her life, so I want to make a good impression on the one that has, and hopefully prove to her that I want the same.

I don't really sleep much. Even when I drift off, I dream of Y/n. Sometimes us living the perfect life together as a family. Other times it's nightmares where I just see her being hurt by her so-called parents and her foster carer. I give up and head downstairs to make some coffee.

Today is going to be a long and emotional day, so I'm sure this cup is not going to be the last of the morning. Whilst I'm cutting up some fruit for Y/n when she wakes, I hear the floorboards creek. I wonder if she's already awake. I'm sure she didn't have the easiest night herself.

I decide to go and check on her. I knock on the door but don't get a response. I try again, a little louder this time. Maybe I misheard earlier. So carefully, I open the door, just to check that she's ok and she hasn't run away in the night. But the sight that meets my eyes breaks my heart.

Before I can even control my actions, I'm rushing towards her, gasping as I see the extent of the bruising on her body. My hands touch her skin, and it causes her to violently flinch away from me. That breaks my heart that she instantly thinks a touch is to cause her pain.

"Y/n. Sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I would never hurt you." I try to reassure her as her eyes dart around the room. "I knocked but you didn't answer. I assumed you were still asleep." I explain my sudden appearance, hoping she didn't think I was intruding on her privacy.

When I don't get a response, I kneel down in front of her, my eyes glancing at the bruises, but I try to focus on her eyes. "Hey, can you look at me. I'm so sorry." I tell her, gently reaching out and taking her hand. That touch gets her attention, and she finally looks at me. I can feel the tears building in my own eyes to see her in a state like this. "S-Sorry." She apologises and goes to stand up.

"You have nothing to apologise for Y/n. Here." I reassure her, holding the t-shirt that was on the floor out to her so she can put it on. I'm sure she's not comfortable being without a shirt on in front of me. She nods gratefully and slips it over her head. "Here, come and sit on the bed." I direct to her, taking a step back so I'm not encroaching on her personal space.

She pushes herself up and moves slowly to the bed, her head hanging low. I sit next to her, but ensure I put some distance between us. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. "Did he do that to you?" I ask her carefully but getting straight to the point.

I watch as she fiddles with her fingers, waiting for a response. I notice a couple of tears drop to her wrists and I just want to engulf her into a hug. Then she nods and it breaks my heart. I knew it was him that caused that, but having it confirmed by her hurts more than I can imagine. "Would you mind if I take a proper look to make sure you're ok? I noticed some cuts and I don't want them to get infected." I explain to her, and I see her body tense.

"I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable, I just need to know you're ok." I reiterate, trying to hide the pleading nature to it. "Ok." She agrees at a whisper. "O-ok." I respond, surprised that she agreed. "I'm going to grab the first aid kit and I'll be back." I tell her, resting my hand over hers and giving it a squeeze, hoping she gets some comfort from it.

Colin is awake as I rush into our bathroom and grab the first aid box. He notices my red eyes and worry washes over him. "I'm ok. It's Y/n. Uh, he hurt her more than we thought." I tell him, knowing that it's unfair to rush out on him without an explanation. "Oh Scar. Go. We can talk about this after." He sighs sympathetically, placing a kiss to my head.

I rush back to Y/n's room, but take a moment before going in. I don't want to scare her again. I knock and wait for her mumbled response before pushing the door open. She's still on the bed, but she looks up to me, her eyes puffy, probably matching my own. "Shall we go into the bathroom?" I suggest, watching as she stands up and moves into the ensuite.

"I know this is awkward, but I'll be as quick and as careful as I can." I comfort her. "Are you ok to take off your shirt?" I ask. She hesitates, but then her hands move to the hem of her shirt. She lifts it over her head, and I fight to stop more tears when I get a proper view of the damage done. "Does it hurt when you breathe?" I ask her first, wanting to determine if she might have broken ribs.

She shakes her head. "They're not broken. I've had that before and it doesn't hurt as much." She explains, avoiding any eye contact. That admission continues to break my heart. She never should have had to experience any of this, let alone enough to know the difference by pain level. "Ok, well I'm going to clean these few cuts first and then put some antiseptic on. They don't look deep enough for stitches, so I'll place some Band-Aids over them." I explain what I'm going to do before doing it so she's not taken by surprise.

I place the first aid kit on the counter and grab out what I need. I talk her through each thing that I'm using and what I'm doing. When she hisses in pain at the antiseptic, I apologise and give her a moment to adjust. "There, all done my sweet girl." I tell her as I finish applying the last of the arnica cream to her bruises. "Do you want some Advil or anything?" I ask her, making sure she knows that she doesn't need to suffer in pain. "Yes please." She replies quietly.

That takes me by surprise. She seems like she can be stubborn. Something she would have definitely gotten from me. I thought she would have tried to push through the pain. But I'm so glad that she's comfortable to admit she's in pain and wants to do something about it. I grab two pills and fill up the glass passing it to her. She quickly takes them, and I hand her, her shirt back. She puts it back over her head, her eyes finally meeting mine as her head pops out the top. "Thank you. And sorry for not telling you." She smiles at me.

"You're welcome. You don't need to apologise. I understand why you didn't. But please know that you can always come to me about stuff like this. I want to make sure that you're ok." I reply and she nods. "Do we have to talk about it?" She asks and I sigh. "I would like to, but I won't push you. Colin and I want what is best for you and knowing everything will help us do that to the best of our ability. But we won't ever push and make you uncomfortable. You come first." I express honestly and I can tell it takes her by surprise.

"How about I give you a moment. I'll get some pancakes on the go and we can talk over breakfast. It can be about this, or it can be about the weather. Whatever you're comfortable with." I suggest and I see her smile. "Ok, yeah. Thank you." She agrees. I smile in return and nod, fighting the urge to hug her. "Take your time. We'll be downstairs when you're ready." I tell her before leaving her to it.

When I reach my bedroom, I let out a small sob, the emotions overwhelming me. I'm so ashamed of myself. I could have prevented this if I put her before my career. I need to do everything in my power to make sure she spends the rest of her life happy. And I know part of that might mean letting her go if it's what she really wants. I won't be selfish this time. It's what she needs that is most important.

Part 3

[writingwithcolor]

Representing African-American Woman, Biracial, “fierce and strong” and hair questions

Anonymous asked:

I’m changing a character in a novel I’m editing to be a fierce, strong African American woman living with an anthropologist father and lawyer mother (I picture the mom like Jessica in suites). I also feel like being bi-racial in the south makes her a little conflicted. She sometimes wants to just “be white” to make things easier, but is so very proud to be African-American and bi-racial. She is also lesbian and a future love interest of the other main character However, I am white- so I have questions!! Here are 3 scenes I need help with:

1. Leigh is putting conditioner in her hair and hears the doorbell. She puts her hair in a silk hairwrap (is that ok to call it that?) after the other characters leave, she works on the computer and falls asleep. When she wakes up its 2:30. I was going to have her undo her hairwrap and run her fingers through her hair… but I know African American hair can’t be brushed, would running her fingers through it (even damp) ruin her hair? 

2. her and the other lesbian “anne” are getting ready at a hotel for an important event and Leigh comes out of the bathroom in a beautiful dress and an “afro blow out” (I have the photo of hair names saved from this group- just not looking at it as I type and will use the correct hair name in novel). When she comes out of the bathroom Anne sees her and is taken completely aback by her beauty. Her reaction makes Leigh uncomfortable and she asks if she should {straighten/presss} her hair. Which action is the correct word there? …to which Anne tells her no, she loves her natural hair because it’s who she is.

3. Later in the book, they are going to be heading to an archeological dig in the desert and I thought about giving Leigh “braids” with “coloured extensions/weave” .. is “tightly woven braids with (haven’t chosen colour yet)” appropriate? What should I say instead? This will also prompt a convo between the two main characters where Anne asks Leigh why she changes her hair so much. Leighs response will be “{As an African American} my hair is a large expression of who I am. Much like the clothes we wear for different moods or events, I change my hair to reflect what I am feeling or just as an outward expression of who I am” .. should I put the African American part in? I feel that hair is an expression to most people, but I know it is a huge part of African American culture and I want to get it right

Thanks in advance for advice!! This is a book I have always wanted to write, but it also became a book about “underdogs”. I really wanted to make a book with queer representation. I also realized I wanted to have an African American as there isn’t much representation for them either. I really want to show her as a fierce, smart woman (who of course struggles with the brevity of being “mixed race”) that isn’t a gangster, rapper, or the typical things we see in the media. I really want queer and/or African American young women to read my novel (eventually) and feel like it describes them well. Not in a stereotypical way they usually are portrayed. Anyways.. Sorry for the ramble, but thanks in advance for all the help!!

First of all, I want to address your use of “Strong.” It is not the compliment you may think it is and Black women do not always accept it well, particularly from non-Black people. Being forced to be strong, aka the Strong Black Woman, is not an ideal condition. So portraying Black women as such without nuance is not welcome representation.  

“I also feel like being bi-racial in the south makes her a little conflicted. She sometimes wants to just 'be white' to make things easier, but is so very proud to be African-American and bi-racial.”

Be aware that not every mixed race person has an identity struggle. But in a world where she faces racism, it could be realistic, a desire to "just be white.” As a visibly Black woman, though, she’ll always be seen as Black, and never just white, even if she’s mixed race or even lighter-complexioned. It’s part of the whole “one drop” perspective.

Now, to your specific questions.

Black hair questions - are these the right terms?

Leigh is putting conditioner in her hair and hears the doorbell. She puts her hair in a silk hairwrap (is that ok to call it that?) 

1.)

It’s hard to answer if this sounds realistic without knowing what products Leigh is using in this situation.

Is Leigh using a leave in conditioner or a conditioner hair masque? The former is what you’d use to style and add moisture to hair. It’s fine to leave that in and go about your day. The latter is something you would wash out after use. 

Also, I wonder if you’re referring to a silk hair bonnet or scarf in your description of a silk wrap? She likely wouldn’t put on a bonnet or silk scarf if she had a mask in that she was going to wash out. If she did, she’d need to clean it to get the product off of it. 

For comparison, imagine you put a hat onto your head when you still had shampoo in it. Wouldn’t that be strange and messy? 

Now, there are hair wraps and shower caps used for conditioning hair. The material is made for being washed out or disposed of after use.

“I was going to have her undo her hairwrap and run her fingers through her hair… but I know African American hair can’t be brushed, would running her fingers through it (even damp) ruin her hair?”

Yikes. Who said our hair cannot be brushed? One has to be more careful and curly/coily hair may not use the same brushes as straight-haired folks, but we can and still do brush and comb our hair. Popular brushes are boar brushes (although I find these too “rough” on my fine coils) and detangling brushes.

And there is no one shared “African American hair type.” Please look into the range of hair styles belonging to Black women, mixed or no. From thick and course, fine and soft, straight and/or straightened. 

And, again I’m not sure what kind of conditioner was left in her hair. If this was a wash-out hair conditioner, and her hair was fully covered, it’ll likely still be damp. Some leave those on for hours, although the directions usually say 20-30 minutes is enough.

Long story short, her hair isn’t going to just be destroyed from running her hands through them, even if it’s really curly or coily. Hands don’t ease through certain curls in the same way it does straight, but you can roll over or around curls to avoid tangling and snagging, particularly if you carefully follow the flow of the curl itself. I am idly finger-combing a coil of my hair as I write this!

See also Black Hair Couple Interactions: Boyfriend Playing with his Black Girlfriend’s Hair

2.)

“Leigh comes out of the bathroom in a beautiful dress and an ‘afro blow out’" …her reaction makes Leigh uncomfortable and she asks if she should {straighten/presss} her hair. Which action is the correct word there?”   

You seem to be using the right terms. Blow out (you wouldn’t need to add "Afro”) and straightened are fine to use. I wouldn’t imagine her saying “should I press it?” To a white woman, though. 

I don’t have your photo references, but Google should’ve produced the correct results. Blow outs add volume to afro hair. Depending on how its done, heat level, etc. it can make hair look like a bigger fro, or make it straighter and stretched out. The more heat and time devoted to styling, generally the straighter you can get the hair.

3. 

“Is 'tightly woven braids with (haven’t chosen colour yet)' appropriate? … ;{As an African American} my hair is a large expression of who I am.; should I put the African American part in?”

While I’d leave out referring to the hair as extensions or weave, saying "tightly woven braids” is a fine description! 

And honestly, I'd suggest leaving out the As an African American portion. Coming from a non-Black voice, it may be taken as speaking for Black people. Also, not all Black people may agree with that statement. Hair has important cultural aspects for many, absolutely! So i’m not saying it’s wrong, but its best to Keep her statement individual, her own perspective, not a statement about the whole race. Again, coming from a non-Black voice, especially.

Characterization

“I really want to show her as a fierce, smart woman (who of course struggles with the brevity of being ”“mixed race”“) that isn’t a gangster, rapper, or the typical things we see in the media. I really want queer and/or African American young women to read my novel (eventually) and feel like it describes them well. Not in a stereotypical way they usually are portrayed. Anyways.. Sorry for the ramble, but thanks in advance for all the help!!”

I do think you need to do a lot more research on Black women, stereotypes, hair, and being a mixed race Black woman before writing this story. Our blog is a general resource, though just the start.

I appreciate your efforts to tell a story that isn’t built on stereotypes or the typical portrayals of Black people. Now, mind that some people may fit “stereotypes” but they are not stereotypes - they’re people.

Another thing - her being mixed race. While it’s fine to portray a mixed race character, and your intentions seem good, some writers choose this route because it’s “easier” and anchoring the Black character to whiteness (or even anyone other than Black) makes them more palatable. I only ask, if you had the intentions of representing Black women, why not write a non-Mixed race Black woman?

After evaluating your characters and the language used, you would benefit from a beta-reader, Black + queer or otherwise, reading your story before publication. They’ll be able to help you “get it right” and note any areas that cause pause or need correction.

I hope this was helpful!

~Mod Colette

[bouncybongfairy]

New Type Of Fear Part 3

Donnie x Fem Reader

Summary: Ignoring Splinter's foreshadowing of the dangers that can emerge from Donnie's exposure to bigotry, he sneaks out to visit you on Halloween night.

Word Count: 2.5k+

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

When all his brothers went to bed, Donnie came out to the table where Splinter was sitting waiting. It was always hard for Donnie to read Splinter with facial expressions alone. He had a very impressive poker face which scared the shit out of Donnie. He pushed his glasses up and approached the wooden table. Splinter was playing with his whiskers, extending his hand out and motioning for Donnie to take a seat. 

“So, It’s come to my attention that you might have a bit of a romantic situation going on away from home, yes?” he asked. 

“Well, I uh- not exactly but I guess.. Yeah,�� Donnie sighed, pushing up his glasses. 

“I’ve noticed you’ve been sneaking out lately, why is that? A girl?” he asked. 

“I’m ready to face the consequences of my actions,” Donnie said which made Splinter chuckle under his breath. 

“I won’t punish you for feeling something natural. I should be punishing you for going above ground but I understand that it was for a … someone that you care about deeply. I want you to know that I don’t keep you from modern society because I don’t think you can mentally handle it. I understand that out of all my boys you, my Donatello would thrive in a technology-dominated world. It’s dangerous for people like us and you are more than well aware. I know it may feel worth it now, but the risks you’re taking could have consequences that I have no control over,” his voice as usual was calm and stern. 

“I understand,” Donnie said quietly.

“I’m going to leave it at that, I think you’re far too old for a lecture,” Splinter said as stood up from his chair and walked towards his bedroom, “Goodnight son,” he followed. 

Donnie sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. A million thoughts race through his mind all at once. Especially after spending time together in person, the last thing he wanted to do was break things off. Not only that, he knew Splinter wouldn’t say it but his actions were putting everyone at risk. Being with you was so electrifying that it made him physically ill to think about letting what you guys have built go to waste. He obviously knew the concept of love in books and TV but he didn’t realize how different it was when you have it in real life. Seeing you in person just reaffirmed what he felt when he talked with you online. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad if you and him didn’t have such a strong and natural connection it would be less painful. He loved how smart and articulate you were with words. When he watched you play in the chess tournament, he admired all your mannerisms; like how you played with your acrylic fingernails while nervously thinking of your next move. Or how you would hold your opponent’s pieces in your hand as they played. He shook his head, almost like he was trying to get you out of his head, and walked over to the fridge. After grabbing a Gatorade, he walked back into the bedroom he shared with his brothers. To his surprise, all his brothers were now awake, sitting or lying on their respectable bunks. 

“Yo, what did sensei want to talk to you about bro? Are you in trouble or something?” Mikey pried. 

“No, he was having complications with one of the new lighting fixtures I installed,” Donnie played it off, he hadn’t told his brothers about you or anything relating to his love life. It’s not like they didn’t have conversations about how they found girls attractive. Mikey seemed to have a new girlfriend every five seconds nowadays but Donnie preferred to keep you to himself. As his three other brothers talk nonsense to each other Donnie lays on his back and hopes he’d dream of you.

It was Friday and you were getting ready for school. It was Halloween unfortunately your school didn’t allow costumes. Even though your mom begged you to be something cuter, you ordered a sea turtle costume to surprise Donnie. Even if you could wear it to school, you wouldn’t want to risk getting it dirty. You texted Donnie last night, asking if you were going to see him tonight which he didn’t respond to. There was a slight feeling in your gut that you were worried because you didn’t get a text. Deciding to ignore that and think more positively, you walk downstairs and start to make your lunch. Your mother was typing away at her computer, working on an article for the publishing company she works at. You could tell she had been up all night. Her bun was so messy it was only holding about 25% of her hair, and her eyes were red from staring at the screen. 

“Hey hun, did you sleep well?” she asked, walking over to the kitchen and starting the tea kettle. 

“Well I did but I can tell you haven’t,” you said handing her a yogurt from the fridge. 

“I know, I just have to get this speech re-written because I’m going to be speaking in front of a panel of sponsors who are looking to recruit a lot of our editors and writers so it’s important that I really set them up tonight,” 

“Wait, so you’re not going to be here tonight?” you asked.

“Yeah but if you need me here honey, I’m sure I can find-” she started.

“Oh no, it’s totally fine, maybe I’ll have one of my girlfriends over after we hang out at Maya’s if that’s okay,” you said, hoping she wouldn’t catch on to your underlying plans. 

“Are you sure? I know I talked about being more present and-” she insisted. 

“Mom, if I was going trick or treating then maybe but I’m just going to Maya’s house for a while then coming home. If you’re feeling guilty all night then I won’t be able to have a good time with my friends,” you said, zipping up your backpack after packing your lunch into it. 

“Okay good, I love you and please just call me if you need me tonight okay? Have a good day at school!” she called out to you as you were walking out the door. 

Part of you felt bad for being so manipulative with your mom, the other half of you was excited to have the house to yourself. While you were riding the subway, you checked your phone and were saddened to see that Donnie still hadn’t texted you back. You typed out a couple of different messages but discarded all of them, not wanting to come across as clingy. Once you got to school it was easy to ignore that, at least for a little while. During lunch, all your friend group could talk about was how excited everyone was for Halloween. All went on and on about their costumes and how desperately they wanted to get good photos. You played along, telling them how excited you were to hang out with them but you knew you’d ditch them the second Donnie texted you. Most of your teachers knew nobody would be paying attention and let everyone just chill. You were now on the subway home, still no text which was now making you frustrated. Why would he feel nervous to tell you he can’t come? Yeah, you would be sad but it’s not like you’re toxic and would be mad at him. There are obviously certain factors of your relationship that weren’t normal and you respected that. After unlocking the door, you slammed it shut out of anger and irritation. You texted him a question mark, refusing to give him the satisfaction of your words. 

Walking into your room, you pull out the plastic package the costume came in and throw it on the bed. Regardless if Donnie was going to text you back, you weren’t going to let him ruin your Halloween. You set your mirror against the wall and grab your make-up case ,flat iron and a couple of other things before sitting down. Normally you would do your usual hair and makeup routine but because you were feeling a little wild you changed everything up. Make certain elements of your make-up bolder; things like darker eyeshadow, brighter blush, lip gloss, and fake eyelashes. Straightening your hair and swooping it to the side. You put the costume on after you were done and checked yourself out in the mirror. The costume was made out of a really soft, blanket type of material. The skirt was a moss green color but the top was a warm brown and underneath was a thin white tutu to give the skirt some shape. The top was that same green color but in the middle was a pale yellow, the back was a corset with a matching yellow ribbon to hold it together. It had a matching beanie that had paws attached to it which you thought were super cute. To top the costume off was a mini backpack that looked like a shell but actually had a zipper. As you started taking pictures in the mirror there was a knock at your bedroom window that nearly gave you a heart attack. You ran over and ripped back the currant and screamed a little when you saw Donnie. You opened the window, it was barely big enough for him to squeeze through. 

“Why haven’t you texted me? I was getting really worried,” you said. 

“Yeah, I’m- I am… Sorry, I just…” he was trailing off and at first you didn’t understand why but then you realized how you must have looked. 

“Sorry this is my Halloween costume, I was just trying it on,” you said crossing your arms. 

“You know I’m not a sea turtle right?” he asked, laughing a little.

“Considering the fact that you ghosted me all day, I don’t think that’s very funny. Especially because I got it to surprise you,” you said, sitting on the bed. 

“Okay yes, I’m sorry I should have addressed that first. It was insensitive of me not to joke about that. I think you look beautiful and the fact that you specifically picked out a costume with me in mind makes me feel so valued and bashful. The reason I didn’t text you is because my dad found out about me sneaking out. I didn’t want my digital footprint to get me caught,” he said sitting next to you. His weight caused the bed to sink down, causing you to tip into him. 

“I’m sorry I know that it’s not easy for you to meet face-to-face. I was just worried that you were ghosting me, did you get in trouble for sneaking out?” you asked. 

“No. His approach was more subtle, he understands the nature of why I’m seeing you but he doesn’t think us being together as... plausible,” he sighed, scratching the back of his neck. 

“What does that mean for us?” you asked softly. 

“I’ve been trying to figure it out,” he said, letting his hands hang in his lap. 

“Are we fighting for a lost cause?” you asked.

“What do you mean?” he inquired. 

“Like, are we going to be able to be together? Things like a wedding and kids? I don’t know, like normal milestones,” you explained.

“That’s not even a guarantee when in a conventional relationship,” he said, wrapping his arm around you. 

“I never thought about it like that,” you said, holding his hand that was draping over your shoulder. 

After that, the mood definitely began to lighten. You were so excited to see him again, thinking that there was a chance it may be over between the two of you. Now you were just hanging out in your room, watching different Halloween movies. You were amused by Donnie’s reaction, he would laugh so hard at the cheesy jokes which humored you. When it got to the scene where kids began trick or treating, he asked you what that was. At first, you were shocked but then remembering his upbringing you realized that of course he would have never done that. You explained how children go door to door collecting candy for the night while they wear costumes of characters they like. Adding in other personal experiences you had with the tradition. He talked about how he wished he could have done things like that with his brothers. You proposed the idea of going out tonight but he shut that down immediately. 

“It’ll be dark and you can just say that you’re wearing a costume,” you said. 

“You’re a very intelligent girl and I know that you know the likelihood of that plan succeeding is less than 10%,” he said. 

“Well, even if we don’t go door to door let’s at least go pick up some food. That way you can at least go outside and see the vibe?" At this point you were begging, “Please, it’s already dark out and I’ll call in so we just have to pick it up. We don’t have to go inside anywhere and we can take the back way of you want,” you pleaded.

At first, he was completely against it, but when you reminded him that nothing came of him walking you home from the chess tournament he began to see things your way. The only condition was that he wanted Pizza which you didn’t object to. When Donnie had a hoodie on, he honestly just looked like a really tall guy. It was nice to see his face light up as you passed by neighborhoods that were completely immersed in everything Halloween. He had to keep his hands in his pockets but you coiled your arm around his. Every once and a while he would look down to make sure you were okay which made you blush. Once you got back home, you were both sitting on the floor and started eating. He as usual was downing everything so fast, you were surprised he didn’t choke. Him holding a two liter was like you holding a 16oz bottle. He wiped his mouth and looked over, pushing up his glasses. 

“I know this is out of the blue but, thank you so much for existing. You mean so much to me and I-I really love you,” he said right as you took a big bite of cheese pizza that trailed on your chin as you pulled the slice away from your mouth. After you both let out a couple laughs you responded, 

“I love you too, I'm really happy that the universe brought us together,” you said. 

“Yeah if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have known trick or treating was a real thing. Or that anyone could beat me in chess, even though you’re still learning,” he joked. 

“Oh yeah? Was I still just learning when you watched me win that tournament?” you asked.

“All I can say is if I was there, I would have been the winner,” he boasted playfully. 

“In your dreams,” you scoffed, scooting closer to him; ending up falling into a food coma while watching Halloween Town.