#my mom and sister were there as well and i wasn't trying to hide that i was feeling like i was going to faint & we tried to prevent it

[punkshort]

i'll be home for christmas | part one

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Having just caught your fiancé cheating on you, you decide to come back home from the big city to Austin for the month of December to try to figure out your next step. You had no idea you would be getting more than you bargained for with the handsome single dad who built your parents' house.

Chapter Warnings: no outbreak, modern day but Joel is 40, language, fluff, flirting, reader has a childhood nickname only her family uses, Hallmark tropes up the wazoo, soft!joel, reader's sister is pregnant, talks of infidelity, talks of divorce, alcohol use, kissing, (smut in part two)

WC: 9.1K

A/N: this is my take on a cheesy, fluffy, soft, smutty, Joel Miller Hallmark Christmas movie. It's just sweet and silly and makes me smile, and I hope it does the same for you. I also wrote this in less than 2 days and didn't really edit it much, so sorry in advance if there's any errors.

Found the pic on Twitter but can't remember the source, if you know please send me a message and i will credit them

Series Masterlist

It was the second week of December as you stood inside the airport in Austin, Texas, waiting for your luggage to emerge on the conveyor belt. You thought by coming home early, you would have avoided the holiday traffic, but you were wrong. All around you, people squealed with excitement and embraced, dragging their worn out luggage behind them as they made their way out of the bustling airport. You tried to keep the scowl from your face as you watched, but it was next to impossible, so you wrapped your Burberry scarf around your neck instead, hoping to hide your displeasure.

This was not the plan you had for Christmas. You should be in New York in a high-rise apartment in front of a roaring fireplace with a glass of wine and your fiancé - ex-fiancé - not back in Austin with your parents, who begged you to come visit for the holidays after you told them the news.

Coming home to visit wasn't your favorite thing, but you felt guilty having avoided the holidays with your family for so many years, and you would have ended up all alone in the city anyway. So you caved, using up all the PTO you saved for the wedding, and took the rest of the year off from work.

Your designer luggage stood out like a sore thumb when it tumbled down the conveyor belt. You winced after watching the impact and snatched it up quickly. Glancing around, you saw a beacon in the storm: a familiar green, glowing sign in the distance - Starbucks. The line was long, but your flight was early, so you waited and got a latte, hoping it would lift your spirits a bit before you had to face your parents.

You tapped the side of your coffee cup anxiously as you rode the escalator down to the first floor, scanning the crowd for your mom and dad. There were a few people holding up signs with names on them, and when you saw the sign that said "Bucket" on it, you cringed.

Your dad's tall, round frame came into view when the people in front of him dispersed. He looked almost exactly the same, except a little greyer. Still sporting a shockingly full head of hair and his signature thick mustache, he grinned and pulled you into a warm hug.

"Really, Dad? 'Bucket'?"

"Well, that's what we call you, ain't it?" he said with a smile. You rolled your eyes and tried to be annoyed, but you had to admit that you were happy to see him.

"Where's Mom?" you asked.

"She's waitin' in the car, didn't wanna pay for parking so we're in a pick up zone, let's hustle," he said, wrapping his arm around you as he led you outside. "How was the flight?"

"Long," you said, then gasped when the cold air hit you. "Wow, I didn't think it would be this cold yet."

"It's been a cold one so far this year," he nodded, directing you to the left where you could see your mom smiling and waving from the passenger seat of their white SUV. You waved back and grinned. Maybe coming home wasn't such a bad idea, after all.

"Hiya, Bucky!" your mom said happily, leaning out of the window to give you a half hug while your dad loaded up your belongings in the back.

"Hey, Mom," you replied. "I like your sweater."

She was wearing one of her tacky Christmas sweaters that she wore every year - unironically. It amazed you how some things never change.

You climbed into the back seat as your dad carefully exited the parking spot and joined the line of cars that were slowly inching towards the main road.

"We're so glad you decided to come home this year, you can finally see the new house!" your mom said excitedly. They had built a brand new house, and the way she provided updates and pictures to you over the phone for the past year, you felt like you had already seen it.

"Yeah, can't wait," you said, staring out the window.

"Hope you don't mind, but we're throwin' a party tomorrow night," your dad said, glancing at you in the review mirror. "Wanted to have our friends over to see the place and have an early holiday party. They'll be so happy to see you, it's been so long since you've been home, Buck."

You had been hoping to spend most of the next three weeks in bed moping and scrolling on your phone. The thought of a party and seeing all those people looking at you with pity made your stomach turn. Your mom must have sensed your discomfort.

"It's alright, honey. They won't say anything," she said softly, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

"Okay," you replied, your voice pained as you opened your eyes to stare at the passing traffic on the thruway.

You'll make an appearance for an hour, and then try to sneak back upstairs until the party ends, already fabricating a headache to blame it on.

The house your parents built was impressive, even you had to admit. It was a two story colonial with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. The open floor plan was stunning as you made your way from room to room. The first floor alone had a spacious living room with vaulted ceilings, a kitchen with an attached dining room, and a separate family room off the back. There was even a small office by the front door that you missed the first time around, and a pantry as big as your closet back home.

You cringed at the thought, reminding yourself that it was no longer your home. That was part of the problem. You had moved in with Will, and when you discovered he had been cheating on you, you crashed at your friend Melanie's place. When you tearfully told your parents the news a few days later, they asked you to come home. Just for the holidays, your mom had said. Just to give you time to figure out your next move.

"This is beautiful, Mom," you said honestly, admiring the fine details on the cabinets.

"Thank you, sweetie. Took a long time, but Joel built it just right for us," she said, beaming.

"Oh, the contractor, right?" you replied, distracted now by the backsplash above the counters.

"He's such a sweet man, he was so patient with us when we changed our minds a million times over every little thing."

"Well, tell him he did a great job," you murmured, opening and shutting different drawers.

"You can tell him yourself, he'll be at the party tomorrow," your dad said, opening the fridge to scrounge for some snacks.

"You invited your contractor to your holiday party?" you asked in disbelief.

"Sure we did. We either saw him or spoke to him almost every single day for a year. He's a good man."

"Okay," you said slowly, still finding it a bit strange, but reminding yourself that things worked a little differently in the south.

"Bucket!" you heard your sister call from the front of the house. A smile plastered across your face instantly as you rushed to the door, both of you squealing as you wrapped your arms around each other and jumped in a circle, unable to contain your excitement.

"Cassie!" you said, pulling back to look at her, brushing her sleek, dark brown hair over her shoulder. "You look fantastic!"

"Ugh, I feel like shit," she said, and you laughed, glancing down at her barely swollen belly.

"How far along are you again?" you asked.

"Twenty weeks, but I'm ready for this to be over! I'm so tired all the time, it sucks," she said, flopping down on the couch in the living room after she gave your parents quick hugs.

"Where's Josh?" your mom asked, referring to your brother in law.

"He's still working, he'll be by later," Cassie said, waving her hand. "Gives us a chance to catch up," she added with a wink.

"You girls do that, we need to go to the store for tomorrow night. Do you need anything?" your mom asked, and you shook your head, eager for them to leave so you could be alone with your sister.

"Tell me everything," Cassie said the moment the door clicked shut.

If it were anyone else, you wouldn't have been in the mood to talk about the mess that was currently your life, but you've always been able to talk about anything with your sister. You trusted each other implicitly and there was no judgement, no matter if you had cheated on a test or gotten drunk during prom, you told each other everything.

So you did. You told her how for months, you felt like something was off with Will. How he would stay out late and say it was for work, but none of his work friends ever posted about going anywhere those nights on social media. He grew more distant and you tried to ignore your paranoia, but when he collapsed into bed one night, too out of it to wash up, and you saw the lipstick on his neck the next morning, you lost it. He hardly even tried to explain himself, barely even attempted to lie, and you began to think maybe he wanted to get caught. Maybe he wanted you to do the dirty work and end things so he didn't have to. Fucking coward.

"What a piece of shit. I never liked him," Cassie said when you were finished. "He acted like he was so much better than everyone when he was here, do you remember the comments he made about the wine mom had? It was so fucking rude."

"Yeah, I know," you agreed.

"So why were you even with him?"

"We had been together since college, Cas," you said, exasperated. "I knew him before he was like that. He used to be sweet and fun. Then he got that finance job and met all those assholes and he became just like them."

"Well, I'm just glad you didn't end up married before finding out what he's really like," she said, shifting her weight on the couch with her hand cupping her small stomach. "That would have been a huge mess."

"It's still a huge mess, I have no where to live now, and I can only couch surf for so long," you said, burying your face in your hands.

"You'll figure it out, Buck. I'll help you look for places online while you're here. Maybe set up some appointments so you can tour them when you get back."

"Thanks," you said, giving her a weak smile. "That would actually be great."

"Now, on to more important things," your sister said, slapping her palms against her knees to stand.

"Baby names?" you asked.

"No! Let's figure out what you'll wear to the party tomorrow," she said, wiggling her eyebrows. "I wanna look through all your fancy designer clothes."

You giggled and stood to join her.

"Fine, but I'm still dropping baby names while you look," you replied.

After spending a majority of the next day helping your parents decorate and prepare food for the party, you finally were able to excuse yourself to shower and get ready. Cassie had picked out a Ralph Lauren lace cocktail dress that Will had bought for your birthday last year. You slipped it on, running your hands over the fabric as you adjusted the dress in the mirror. Just because he bought it didn't mean you couldn't wear it again. You snatched the glass of wine from your dresser and took a sip, trying to push the thought of him from your head as you made your way downstairs.

Cassie and Josh were already in the kitchen, munching on appetizers and chatting with your parents. Cassie let out a low whistle when you entered the room. You waved her off and gave Josh a big hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Good to see you," you told him with a smile. "All ready for the baby?"

"Getting there," Josh replied, wrapping an arm around Cassie's waist. You tried to ignore the ugly, jealous pit in your stomach as he told you how the nursery was coming along. You wasted so many years of your life on Will. Your sister was already married and starting a family, and here you were, basically homeless and starting over. Pathetic.

Family friends slowly began to trickle into the house, luckily being whisked away by your parents to give them a tour after you meekly greeted them and hid back in the kitchen. As more and more people arrived, you began to wonder how your parents kept so many close friends when you barely had a handful back in New York.

A few kids raced by you in the kitchen as you made your way to the bar to refill your wine. Even though it was loud, you could still hear your dad's booming voice as he regaled a friend with a fishing story. You wandered around a bit, trying to find Cassie and Josh so you didn't look out of place, but stopped dead in your tracks when you saw them chatting with Mr. Tanner and his son, Troy, backing away before they could see you. Troy used to have the biggest crush on you when you were kids. If he found out you were single, you wouldn't be able to shake him all night.

You eventually found yourself alone, back in front of the snacks. You picked at the chips on your plate, not really interested in eating but hoping to avoid any awkward conversations, so you kept your eyes down, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. Apparently, it wasn't good enough because you felt someone sidle up next to you.

"Those any good?" a deep, unfamiliar drawl spoke from your side. You looked up to find the softest pair of brown eyes you've ever seen on a man. Blinking, you took a moment as your gaze raked over his patchy beard and the dark, tousled curls on his head. They looked so soft, you had to resist the urge to reach out and touch them. What was wrong with you?

"Huh?" you managed to squeak out after you realized you had waited too long to reply. Idiot.

"The, uh, chips," he said, pointing at your plate before rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh!" you said, looking at your plate, completely forgetting you even had it. "Yeah, they're alright."

He nodded and glanced around the room, unsure of what to say next. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"How do you know Paul and Martha?"

Distracted, you watched as he crossed his arms over his broad chest, stretching the fabric of his red flannel over his shoulders, pulling the material taught. You had to remind yourself to pay attention and stop gawking at this man like he was a piece of meat. Jesus, maybe you should stop drinking.

"They're my parents," you said after a moment, your eyes flicking across the room, finding them with a group of their friends with your dad's arm wrapped around your mom's shoulder as she giggled and gazed up at him adoringly.

"Oh, you're Cassie," the man said, his eyes dropping from your face to your stomach, and you swore you saw a glimmer of disappointment.

"No!" you said quickly, your hand subconsciously resting on your midsection. "That's my sister, I'm their other daughter." You told him your name and briefly explained you lived in New York and were just visiting for the holidays.

"They must be real happy, havin' you home for so long," he replied, and you shrugged.

"Yeah, it's been a while since I've come home for a visit. I was feeling pretty bad about that," you said, choosing to leave out the biggest reason you were there. This stranger didn't need to be burdened with your love life drama. "Besides, they were so excited to show off the new house," you continued, waving your arm around the room.

"Took us long enough, but it finally came together," he replied with a smile.

"Oh! You must be Joel," you said, realization finally dawning on you.

"Yeah, sorry," he said, shaking his head and stretching out his arm. "That was rude of me, don't know what I was thinkin'." His cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you shook his hand.

"My parents always have such wonderful things to say about you. The house is beautiful, I was blown away when I first saw it," you told him. "I especially love the little details on the cabinets."

"Thanks," he said with a soft smile, averting his gaze to look at the cabinet behind you. "I actually did that myself. It's kind of a hobby of mine. Closest to art I'll ever get, I guess."

"I don't think it's just 'close' to art, I think it is art. It's stunning," you told him, running your fingertips over the intricate floral design. "You're very talented."

"Well, thank you," he said sheepishly, rubbing his beard to hide his smile. You could see the blush creeping up his neck and you bit your lip with a grin, turning your head to try to give him a moment. Were you making him nervous? He was painfully good looking, could this guy actually be into you? Were you even interested? The break up was still so fresh and it had been so long since you've dated anyone besides Will, you hadn't even considered it yet.

"So, how long have you worked in construction?" you asked after a minute, discarding your plate on the counter to give him your full attention.

"Oh, my whole life. Me and my brother started the business when we were in our twenties. Only thing we were any good at, and luckily it pays the bills," he told you with a shrug, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. "What do you-"

Joel's question was cut off by a young girl with curly brown hair in a red velvet dress bouncing up to him.

"Dad! Can Uncle Tommy take me outside so we can look at the pool?" she asked. Dad? You looked down when he pulled his hands out of his pockets, palming one of the girl's shoulders to quiet her down, and noticed the gold wedding band. Of fucking course.

"The pool? Sarah, it's freezin' out," Joel said, and she grinned.

"I'm not going in, Dad, I just wanna see," she said, rolling her eyes. She glanced over, noticing you for the first time, and smiled. "I really like your dress," she said.

"Thank you," you said, running your hand down the fabric. "I like yours, too."

"Uh, yeah, that's fine. Just make sure Uncle Tommy sticks with you, alright?" Joel relented, and she clapped her hands gleefully before running off again.

"She's cute, how old is she?" you asked him, looking around the room to see if Sarah had run back to a woman who could be Joel's wife.

"She's sixteen," he said, eyeing you carefully. He hadn't thought this far ahead and hoped he wasn't scaring you off.

You turned to him, startled, having guessed she was younger.

"You must have had her young," you said, the words slipping out before you could catch them. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that like it sounded-"

"No, it's alright," he said with a chuckle. "I did. I'm forty."

You nodded and took a sip from your glass, letting your eyes drift away, rethinking your conversation. Maybe you misread him and he was just being friendly. There was no way he would be flirting with you at a party with his kid right there. But then he cleared his throat, drawing your attention back to him.

"Listen, I hope I'm not bein' too forward, but are you here with anyone?"

You raised your eyebrows at him over your glass. There was no misreading that. Blinking rapidly, you tried to formulate a reply that wouldn't cause a scene. Was he seriously hitting on you with a ring on his finger? You put your glass down on the counter and opened your mouth to reply when your sister's voice interrupted you.

"Bucket! Come here, you remember Troy, right?"

You cringed, at both the nickname and the person in question, before slowly turning your body towards her and forcing a fake smile.

"Of course. How are you?" you said with a hug.

"Doing great, just got a new job with a law firm downtown," Troy said, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans and shifting his weight nervously. He began to ramble about his new job as your sister introduced herself to Joel behind you. You resisted the urge to strangle her, reminding yourself she was carrying your baby niece or nephew and that you'll have to wait until after she gave birth to kill her. She knew you couldn't stand Troy, but she probably couldn't get rid of him, either.

You stood there, draining your wine glass while he prattled on for the next twenty minutes. By the time Troy's dad walked over and ushered him away, Joel was nowhere to be found.

Probably for the best, anyway. You were getting really sick and tired of only attracting unfaithful men.

You hadn't considered how annoying it would be to have your parents hovering around you all the time, worried that you were slipping into a depression and trying to get you to join them on activities outside the house. After you felt forced to go sledding with them the day before, you decided to make yourself scarce today, which is why you found yourself at the mall in downtown Austin browsing for a Christmas gift for your future niece or nephew.

As you were looking through a storefront window, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. Taking it out, you saw a text from a friend back home.

Sydney: You'll never guess who i just bumped into

You were typing out your response, chin tucked into your chest, when you felt someone knock into you. Startled, you looked up only to lock eyes with Joel the contractor.

"Oh!" you managed to stammer out. His deep brown eyes lit up and a warm smile spread across his face when he looked up and recognized you.

"Sorry, wasn't payin' attention," he said. "How, uh, how are you?"

"Good," you said, nodding and clutching your phone in your hand. "You?"

"Good. Was actually just thinkin' about you," he admitted, looking down and shifting the bag he was carrying from one hand to the other. "Never got to say goodbye to you the other night."

"Yeah, it was pretty crowded. I didn't realize my parents were so popular," you joked. "Is Sarah with you?"

"No, she's in school," he replied, and you bumped the heel of your hand against your forehead, rolling your eyes. Of course she was, it's the middle of the day.

"Duh," you said quietly, finding it hard to hold his gaze without getting butterflies, so you looked away.

"So, uh, I hope this doesn't sound creepy, but I asked your sister if you were seein' anyone the other night," he began, and you felt your face instantly heat up. Why didn't Cassie warn you?? "-was wonderin' if I could get your number."

"Huh?" you asked, your eyes widening as you tried to control your breathing. You glanced down at his hand again when he looked away and saw he was definitely wearing a ring.

"Thought we could go out sometime? If you're interested?" he asked, his own nerves wreaking havoc as he shifted his weight and chewed on the inside of his cheek, praying his face wasn't as red as it felt.

"Are you serious?" you asked him, narrowing your eyes. The audacity of some men!

"'Course I'm serious," he said with a nervous smile. "Thought we hit it off the other night-"

"Joel, listen. I'm not going to say what I'm really thinking for the sake of my parents and everything you did for them, but I am not interested in dating married men," you said with a scowl. He frowned, giving you a confused look before you turned on your heel and stormed away, joining the crowd of Christmas shoppers bustling by.

He looked down at his hand, making a tight fist before swiveling his head around, trying to locate you in the crowd before he lost you.

"Hey, wait!" he called out, pushing past clusters of people as he jogged to try and keep up with you. He called out your name as he got closer. You stopped suddenly but didn't turn around, causing surprised shoppers to have to redirect at the last minute to avoid running into you.

"Hey, I'm sorry-"

"You should apologize to your wife!" you said loudly, causing a few people to turn their heads in your direction as they walked past. Joel looked around nervously.

"I'm not married," he clarified quietly. You looked down at his hand again and he flexed his fingers.

"Can we get a coffee or somethin'? And I'll explain," he begged, his chest rising and falling rapidly with each second that passed as you considered your answer. "Please."

"Fine," you agreed, and his face relaxed once again.

You sat down at a coffee shop within Barnes and Noble as Joel ordered you both something to drink. As you watched him at the counter, you admired his long legs and broad shoulders underneath his brown coat and wondered what possible excuse he was going to come up with.

Oh my god, what if she died?

You rubbed your eyes, hoping you didn't just insult a widower in the middle of a crowded mall.

Joel joined you at the table and set your coffee down in front of you with a smile.

"Thank you," you said softly, fiddling with the cup and avoiding his eyes as he shrugged his coat off, revealing a navy blue V-neck sweater underneath. Your eyes drifted to the small patch of bare chest that was exposed and your stomach clenched. Swallowing hard, you forced yourself to meet his gaze, but he was staring down at his ring finger.

"I'm not married anymore, just wanna make that crystal clear," he began, still staring at his ring.

"Okay," you said slowly, waiting for him to continue. He sighed.

"We've been divorced for a few years now," he said, finally looking at you. "It was... hard. Really hard. I, uh," he scratched his beard as he struggled to find the words. "I've had a tough time lettin' go. Thought for a while we might get back together, so I didn't take it off. Then I guess I just got so used to it, I never thought... I'm sorry, I sound like a mess," he said with a sad smile.

"It's alright, I think I understand," you told him, and he looked at you with renewed optimism, encouraged to continue.

"I never took it off because I never thought 'bout askin' anyone out til now," he said. "Didn't realize how that would come across, you just took me by surprise that night and I couldn't stop thinkin' 'bout you."

You blushed and looked down at your coffee, trying to hide your smile behind your cup, but he saw it and grinned.

"Are you still in love with her?" you asked him. You didn't want to get wrapped up in something that would end up hurting you in the end.

"No," he said firmly. "I mean, I'll always care for her. She gave me Sarah, how could I not? But I'm not in love with her anymore."

You nodded as you absorbed his words, glancing around the little coffee shop before dragging your eyes back to his. He was looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to ask anything else that would make you comfortable with accepting a date from him.

"Well, thank you for being honest with me, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship just yet."

Joel tried to hide the disappointment in his face as he nodded in understanding. The first time in five years he asked someone out and he got shot down.

"It's not you," you clarified. "It's bad timing. I just got out of a really long term relationship. Well, I was actually engaged, and I caught him cheating," you explained with a wince, not expecting to bring this up today. "Probably why I was so sensitive about the wedding ring," you said with a half smirk. He nodded quietly and looked down at the ring on his hand, twisting the metal around with the pad of his thumb as you spoke.

"Sounds like we've both been through a tough time," he murmured, and you quietly agreed.

You sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping your coffees and trying to figure out how to end this awkward interaction without making things worse. You were going to lie about having plans so you could leave when he suddenly spoke up.

"No pressure, but, uh, what if we just went on one very casual date?" He looked at you with those soft, brown eyes and you felt your resolve crumbling. "Sounds like we could both use some practice. You're leavin' at the end of the month anyway. Could just be fun, help get us both back out there."

You paused, not expecting that. He had a good point. It's been so long since you've gone on a date with anyone, and it sounded like he was just as rusty. Besides, what else would you be doing with your time over the next three weeks?

"Okay," you agreed softly. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, parting his lips slightly as he straightened up in his chair.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," you said with a grin. "Why not?"

Early the next morning, you heard your phone buzz on the nightstand next to your bed. With a groan, you cracked an eye open to look at the time, then reached for your phone.

"7:30? Who the hell..." you grumbled, squinting at the bright screen, your eyes widening when you saw Joel's name. You sat up in bed, fully awake now, and slid the notification over to open the text.

Joel Miller: Morning. Are you free tonight?

You grinned, flicking on your light so you could see better to respond, then you paused. Should you make him wait before replying? Would you look too desperate if you answered right away?

You shrugged, deciding to answer him. It was casual, you both knew it wouldn't go anywhere, so who cares how it looked?

You: Good morning, you're up early! And yes, what did you have in mind?

You chewed your thumb nail as you waited for his answer.

Joel Miller: This is nothing, I've been up since 5. For some reason, clients expect me to be at job sites early. How about ice skating?

You giggled and tapped out a reply.

You: I'd love to!

Joel Miller: Great - I'll pick you up at 7

Realizing you forgot to reply to Sydney the day before, you switched messages and shot her a quick answer before sliding back down under the covers to scroll on your phone.

You resisted the urge as long as you could - a whole fifteen minutes - before you typed Joel's name into Facebook. His name popped up with two mutual friends and you rolled your eyes. Of course your parents were friends with him. Clicking on his name, you scrolled down his page, tapping through photos of him and Sarah that looked out of date. He didn't seem like the type to update social media often, and his page reflected that hunch. He didn't have many pictures so it didn't take long until you scrolled all the way to the end, presumably his first photo from when he joined. It was a grainy picture of him with a huge smile and his arm slung around a woman with dark, curly hair, just like Sarah's.

She was pretty, you couldn't deny that, and you vaguely wondered why they broke up. He made it sound like he didn't want a divorce, and you figured he would have mentioned cheating since you brought it up.

You closed the app. If Joel wanted to tell you, he would.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you made your way downstairs on the hunt for coffee. Pouring yourself a cup from the machine, you burrowed into the couch, wrapping yourself in a blanket as you waited for your coffee to cool down and flipped through the various streaming services your parents subscribed to.

"Hey Buck, you're up early," your dad said as he descended the stairs and headed to the coffee.

"Hey, Dad," you said, taking a sip from your mug and wincing as you burned your tongue.

"What're you up to today? You wanna come to dinner with your mom and me?"

"Actually, I have a date," you told him, bracing for the reaction.

"Whoa-ho! Been here not even a week and you got yourself a date? Don't tell me... Troy?" he asked with a big grin, sitting down at the other end of the couch.

"Ew, no!" you said, scrunching your nose. "It's, um, Joel," you said quickly, taking another sip from your mug.

"Our contractor?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah, we met at the party," you told him. "Then I ran into him at the mall."

"Ran into who at the mall?" you heard Cassie's voice from down the hall.

"When did you get here?" you asked as she rounded the corner and gazed at your coffee enviously.

"Just now. Who did you see at the mall?"

"Joel," you said, glaring at her. "Got something to tell me about that?"

"Oh, yeah," she said, wiggling her eyebrows. "He was asking about you at the party. I made sure to let him know you were single."

"Yeah, he told me, thanks for the heads up, by the way," you said. "We're going out tonight."

"I didn't realize he was single, I just assumed he was married because he's always got Sarah around," your dad said, beginning to zone out to the movie that was on the TV.

"He's single," was all you said, picking your phone back up.

"He's cute," Cassie said, and you blushed. "I'm glad you said yes, mom and dad already love him, so he'll fit right in."

"I don't even live here. It's a casual thing, we're just hanging out," you told her.

"Yeah, okay," she said, giving you a wink. You rolled your eyes and pinched her as you passed by.

"I'm going to shower, then maybe you can help me pick out something to wear," you told her over your shoulder, walking back upstairs.

Joel arrived at your parents' house promptly at 7, just as he promised. He pulled into the driveway, checking his hair in the review mirror quickly before sliding out of his truck and making his way up the porch. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this nervous as he glanced down a the green flannel he wore, praying he didn't miss a button or a stain. He was with his ex for so long that he could barely remember a time when he was nervous around her.

But with you, he felt the butterflies the moment he saw you at the party. You didn't notice him at first, but he saw you enter the living room and freeze in the doorway, your eyes locked on someone across the room before backing out the way you came, as if you were looking to avoid them. He couldn't catch who it was, having hardly known more than five people in the whole house, but he felt compelled to follow you. To see if you were maybe looking for a husband or boyfriend. But when he saw you alone in the kitchen, staring down at your phone, he couldn't stop himself from saying something to you.

Joel never did things like that. He always kept to himself, very quiet and reserved. He was content with his work during the day and hanging out with Sarah at night.

For the most part, he was happy. It was only at night when the loneliness crept up, when he tucked himself into his big, cold bed and tried his best to fall asleep as fast as he could, so he wouldn't lay there wishing someone who cared for him was just in the bathroom washing up.

Tommy had been encouraging him to get back out there, always offering to watch Sarah if he caught Joel looking a little too long at a waitress or a neighbor. Sarah was old enough to be on her own for a few hours, but he still asked Tommy to stop by, anyway. Maybe part of him wanted his brother to know that he was going on a date, if only so he would stop trying to set him up all the time with women he had no interest in.

Joel reached out to ring the doorbell, cringing when he noticed it was one of those camera doorbells. Paul must have installed it after the house was finished. He heard heavy footsteps on the other side of the door and held his breath, realizing he hadn't thought about your dad's reaction to your date.

Paul swung the door open, greeting Joel with a deep scowl as he leaned up against the doorframe.

"What's up, Joel?" he asked. Joel cleared his throat.

"Hey, Paul. I'm here to pick up your daughter," Joel replied, bracing himself. Paul just stared at him, breathing deeply as he looked Joel up and down. Joel wasn't a small man, but Paul had at least sixty pounds on him. He tended to have an intimidating look until you got to know him.

"Oh, yeah? For what?" Paul asked, clenching his jaw. Joel froze, wondering if there was a reason you didn't tell your parents about tonight, unsure what to say. Finally, Paul's face broke into a huge smile as he began to crack up, doubling over at the waist.

"I'm sorry, Joel, I had to," he wheezed, standing back up and clapping Joel on the shoulder. "Couldn't help myself. Come on in," he said, still laughing as he led Joel down the hall and towards the kitchen.

"Jesus, Paul, scared the shit outta me," Joel admitted, his heart racing as he rubbed his forehead.

"Beer?" Paul asked, and Joel shook his head.

"No thanks, I'm drivin'," he replied, and Paul raised his eyebrows with a nod.

"Good man, passed the first test," he said with a wink as he twisted open a beer for himself. "Hey, uh, in all seriousness, I just wanna talk with you before she comes down."

"Yeah, 'course," Joel replied, leaning up against the counter.

"I ain't sure what she's told you about the asshole she was with before, but he really hurt her. Now, I know it ain't got nothin' to do with you, what's in the past is in the past," he said. "But just keep that in mind, will you? I can't stand seein' my little girl hurt like that again."

Joel nodded solemnly, understanding completely.

"I ain't like that, I'll be respectful, I promise," Joel replied. "Besides, we both know she's goin' back to New York in a few weeks. We're just gettin' to know each other, is all."

"Yeah, she said the same thing to her sister earlier, but then she spent all damn day on the phone, pickin' out an outfit and gettin' herself ready," Paul said with a sigh. "I'm just sayin', be careful with her."

Joel felt a flutter in his chest and tried to hide his smile when he found out you had been thinking about him all day. He was glad he wasn't the only one.

"I hope you weren't waiting long," you told Joel as he backed out of your driveway.

"Not at all," he said with a smirk. "You're worth the wait. You look beautiful." He glanced down again at the light pink sweater with a small designer logo he was unfamiliar with in the corner.

You blushed and bit your lip, quietly thanking him and trying to hide your reaction behind your scarf, but he saw it. He always does.

Now that he knew you were looking forward to this date just as much as he was, he felt a little more confident.

"Did you have a good day?" he asked, giving you a sideways glance as he merged his truck into traffic.

"Yeah, did you?"

"It was alright," he said, slowing the truck down at a stop light. He turned to face you now. "Couldn't wait to see you, though."

You turned a darker shade of pink and he smiled, pleased to see that he could elicit that reaction from you, the same way you do to him.

"So, ice skating?" you said, trying to take the heat off of you. You looked at his hands on the steering wheel, noticing he made sure to take his ring off.

"Yeah," he said, pressing his foot on the gas as the light changed. "Thought you could teach me somethin'."

"Teach you? How do you know if I can even skate?" you asked teasingly.

"Just a hunch. Was I right?" he replied, his mouth turning up into a half smirk. You giggled and he felt his stomach tighten. He needed to hear that again.

"Yeah, you were right," you relented. He pulled his lower lip between his teeth and slapped the steering wheel in victory, making you giggle again, and his chest filled with warmth at the sound.

"Where's Sarah tonight?" you asked him as he pulled into a parking spot at the skating rink.

"My brother's watchin' her," he replied, disappointed that you got out of the truck so quickly. He had planned on opening the door for you.

"Does she like to ice skate?" you questioned as he led you inside to the counter to rent your skates.

"Oh, of course she does. But I usually sit it out and just watch her have fun," he said, picking up your rentals and heading over to a bench.

"You should have brought her, I wouldn't have minded."

"We don't have to talk 'bout her, you know," he said quicky, and your fingers froze over your laces.

"Why wouldn't we talk about her? She's your daughter," you asked slowly, straightening back up to look at him.

"No, I know. What I mean is, I know it ain't every woman's fantasy to go out with a single dad and all the baggage that comes with that. So, if you don't wanna talk about her, I get it," he said, casting his eyes down as he focused on tying his laces. You reached out a hand and gently placed it on top of his, immediately making him freeze at your touch.

"She's part of your life, so I want to hear about her. You shouldn't think like that, Joel. It's really not a dealbreaker for most women," you assured him, gently rubbing your thumb over his knuckles, his eyes glued to your hand as he listened. "And if it is, fuck 'em."

His eyes snapped up to yours now, then a slow smile spread across his face.

"Okay," he said softly, and you smiled, pulling your hand back, leaving him wanting more.

"Besides," you said, standing up on your skates as you made your way to the rink. "You have no idea what kind of fantasies I have."

You turned to give him a wink as you effortlessly stepped out onto the ice, holding out your hands encouragingly for him to follow. It was a miracle he was able to move his legs after that comment, but he managed just because he knew he would feel your warm hands on his again.

Joel was a quick study. He was nervous at first, you could tell that he didn't want to embarrass himself, but he did surprisingly good. Especially considering how crowded the ice rink was and how fast people were skating by. After about half an hour, he was able to skate - albeit, slowly - around the rink next to you without any assistance. Part of you wondered if he pretended to need more help than he really did just so it would make you feel good.

"So, anyway, that's basically what I do for work. It's pretty boring," you said with a sigh.

"Not boring. Marketing in New York City sounds like a dream," he replied.

"Yeah, except I work on all the behind the scenes stuff. It's not really as fun as it sounds," you admitted, not missing work in the slightest since you've been back in Texas.

"Well, d'you work with some fun people, at least?"

You paused, considering his question for a moment, before shaking your head with a dry laugh.

"Not really," you said, but he still tried to help you find a reason why you would put up with it.

"You were able to take off almost a whole month, that's pretty great. Not many places'll let you do that, can't be that bad," he offered, and you scoffed.

"It's the time I saved up for the wedding I was supposed to have," you told him sadly, and he groaned.

"I'm knockin' it outta the park tonight, ain't I?" he said, rubbing his face before almost losing his balance. You giggled and he couldn't stop the huge grin that plastered itself across his face.

"It's fine, you didn't know," you said, waving him off. And for the first time, you really didn't mind talking about it. Something about him made it easier.

"What'dya say we get some hot chocolate?" Joel asked, jutting his chin towards the vendor where you first came in.

"Yeah, that sounds great," you replied. Joel turned towards the exit without looking when a teenage boy, who was speed skating around the rink trying to impress a girl, smacked right into him, sending him flying backwards on the ice.

"Joel!" you exclaimed, rushing to his side. He groaned, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hey, why don't you watch it!" you yelled angrily at the teenager, who had managed to only stumble a bit upon impact.

"Sorry, man," the kid mumbled before taking off.

"I'm gonna kick his ass," you said, about to stand up to go after him, but Joel reached up to grip your arms, holding you in place.

"I'm fine, sweetheart," he said with a chuckle. Sweetheart. Your heart skipped a beat at the term.

"Are you sure?" you asked, your brow furrowed with concern.

"Yeah, just gimme a hand," he said, and you stood to give his arm a firm yank, allowing him to stand.

"Let's get you off the ice," you told him, ushering him carefully to the exit and finding a bench.

"Does your head hurt?" you asked, sitting down next to him. Your fingers reached up to graze the back of his head.

"No," he said breathlessly, staring at you as you continued to study him for any injury. God, you were so beautiful, he couldn't force himself to look away.

"That's good. How about your vision?" you pressed, still so focused on the fall and not seeing the way he was looking at you. But when you finally locked your eyes on his, your breath caught in your throat.

All the laughter and playful yelling surrounding you faded. You couldn't look away from his heated gaze, his deep brown eyes boring into yours so intensely, you almost forgot to blink. He brought his hand up to gently cradle the side of your face, his calloused palm meeting your soft skin. Your lips parted to accommodate your sudden need for more oxygen, and his gaze fell to your mouth.

"Joel," you whispered, and the way his name sounded coming from you was so damn sweet, it almost did him in.

"Yeah?" he whispered back, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Kiss me."

He didn't need to be told twice.

He leaned forward, eyes sliding shut and slotting his lips against yours, deeply breathing in your scent so he could remember it tomorrow. He was determined to commit every second to memory, knowing that by morning he would be aching for you, aching for this. Against his better judgement, he pressed himself into your lips harder, unsure if he will ever get to feel like this again when you inevitably came to your senses. The idea of this feeling being taken away from him spurred him on, desperate and eager for every second you were willing to give him.

Your hand came up to the back of his neck, holding him against you as his lips massaged yours tenderly. You inched closer to him on the bench so you could tuck yourself into his broad chest. He was so warm and soft and strong that it was making you dizzy. Your fingertips stroked the curls at the base of his neck as you tentatively opened your mouth just enough to suck his lower lip between yours. The quiet noise he made when you did that made your insides clench with need, and against all odds, you felt yourself falling, completely losing yourself in him and the moment.

A startling voice over the loudspeaker announcing that the rink was closing in fifteen minutes finally snapped you out of it. You both pulled back but kept your foreheads pressed together as the world around you slowly melted back into focus. His hand still cupped your face and he lifted his thumb to gently trace your swollen lips.

"I should take you home," he murmured. At first, your stomach flipped, thinking he meant his home, but you realized he wasn't that type and he meant your parents' house.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, and you sat back reluctantly, breaking away. His hand dropped from your face to the hand in your lap, his thick fingers wrapping around yours for a moment as he collected himself with a deep breath.

Finally, he forced himself to stand, still clutching your hand and helping you up. You glanced down at the floor and smirked.

"We should probably take our skates off," you said, and he chuckled, breaking the tension and sitting back down, his hand reluctantly letting go of yours to undo his laces.

After you turned in your rentals, his hand quickly found yours again, unwilling or unable to let you go as he led you back to his truck, this time making sure to open the car door for you. Thanking him quietly, you jumped up into the cab and watched him round the front of the car, running a hand through his hair and sucking in deep breath.

You grinned and bit your lip as he started the truck, swinging his arm around to grip your headrest and twisting his body to back out of the spot. It took everything in you not to scoot across the seat and tuck yourself into his side.

He let his arm drop loosely on the seat in between you as he drove down the street, one hand on the steering wheel. Your fingers inched forward, sliding your palm underneath his hand, lacing your fingers together. The corners of his mouth tugged into a smile and you drove in a comfortable silence, your hands intertwined the whole time, until he pulled into your driveway and cut the engine.

You sighed as you stared at the darkened house, already missing him and he wasn't even gone yet. He peered over at you, trying to think of a way to prolong the date, but aside from the obvious, which he wasn't going to do just yet, he was coming up empty.

"Lemme walk you up," he said finally, and you nodded, reaching for the handle of the door but he stopped you. You furrowed your brow, confused, until you watched him rush over to open the door, and you grinned, taking his hand so you could slide out of the seat.

You stared at the ground as he led you up the path to the porch, your heart pounding in your ears. You weren't sure what you had been expecting tonight, but it definitely wasn't this feeling. This was so much more.

"Well, thank you for tonight," you said as you reached the door, turning around to look up at him through your lashes. "I had a really good time."

"Yeah, me too," he said, his soft, brown eyes trailing over your face, locking away every little detail. Unable to resist, he stepped forward, his rough hand skimming around to the back of your neck. He tilted your face up, ducking down slightly to meet you halfway and brushed his lips gently over yours.

Your hands flew up to grip the collar of his flannel, keeping him pressed against you as you leaned against the front door. God, for someone who claimed to be rusty, he was a really good kisser. He was gentle and slow and it took your breath away both times. You knew you were getting in over your head, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. All you could think about was him and how badly you wanted more.

Nervously, you opened your mouth and flicked your tongue against his plush lips. He responded by parting his lips and allowing your tongue to dance with his own, his mouth applying more pressure than before as the heat flared between you.

Before you could stop it, a soft moan rumbled from your throat, causing him to pull back, panting slightly as his gaze flickered between your eyes. You gazed up at him, eyes dark and desperate, your fingers still gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly.

You weren't sure what he was searching for, but after a moment he seemed to find it because his mouth came crashing down on yours once again, this time with more yearning and desire. His tongue probed inside your mouth, licking past your teeth and in the back of your mind you realized he tasted faintly of mint and you wondered when on earth he popped a mint into his mouth but it didn't matter. Nothing else mattered except the two of you in that moment, each seeking something within the other that you never expected to find.

His chest ached knowing he would have to stop kissing you soon, or else he would never leave. He always considered himself a strong man, after everything he had been through, how could he not? But something about you made him realize he wasn't nearly as strong as he thought. Your lips were so soft compared to his, so sweet and perfect that it made him want to cry because in that moment, he knew he could never let you go.

[daddysfangirls-marvel]

Polyamorous: Inexperience pt.1

*Bonus*

Stucky x fem!reader \ Steve Roger x fem!reader x Bucky Barnes

Warning: Smut, fluff

Polyamorous Material List

(Y/n) didn't bother knocking on the door, going straight for the hidden key and unlocking it. Already familiar with the apartment, she tosses her jacket on the back of the armchair and going into the kitchen. " I'm so sorry I'm-oh" (Y/n) quickly turned around and covered her eyes. " I'm sorry, so sorry".

"Okay," Bucky said as he helped Steve off the kitchen counter and they adjusted themselves, fix themselves. But still with flush faces, swollen lips, and ruffled clothes it was very clear what was happening. That and Steve didn't adjust himself as well as Bucky.

"I'm sorry I'm late my father kept me at the store."

" It's alright, dinner is still warm." Bucky said as he pulled out a chair for her. Steve took his seat quickly trying his best to hide his 'situation'. " Beef Stew and biscuits."

"Bread is fresh I got it from the bakery this morning." Steve said doing his best not to make eye contact. Bucky went to dish out the bowls.

(Y/n) reached across the small table taking his hand in hers. He looked up at her. "Thank you, it smells wonderful. Thank you for all of this." Steve flushed not knowing how to take the praise.

"How you're mom doing?"

"She's well, doing much better . They've recently assigned her to the tuberculosis ward. The pay is higher but the hours are longer too." The new risk was unsaid.

Steve's mother, Ms. Sarah, was a nurse and had been jumping between wards for as long as one could remember. She always went where help was most needed. While everyone thought her very admirable it was also very scary. They feard that one day she'd pick something up from one of her patients and not be able to shake it or worse give it to Steve who had a very weak health.

"She'll be working late tonight. I've already set aside some dinner for her," Bucky said as he placed the bowls on the table and returned to the kitchen.

" My father thinks I'm having a sleep over with Rebecca. Hope your sister doesn't mind being my excuse, Bucky."

"She loves you and will tell any lie you need." he said as he placed three wine glasses on the table. The two looked at him confused as he produced a bottle of wine "Pinot Noir, franch "

"where did you get that? you can't afford that."

"Well forunately for us darling this fell off the back of a truck"

"You stole" Steve moved to scold him.

"No, it literally fell off the back of a truck. I wasn't going to waste it." Bucky defened himself as he popped the cork" Don't we deserve some luxury. Something fancy for once." he pours a glass " Plus, when will any of us ever be able to afford a bottle of wine like this. We can barely afford the cheap stuff. Please, enjoy it now."

He passed the glass to Steve. He sighed and took it while glaring he brings the glass to his lips and has a sip. " Taste expensive."

(Y/n) giggled, Bucky fills her glass. He finally sits and all three of them raise their glasses. " A toast?"

"yes, A toast to us and to now. To always being together." Steve said

"We three may never part" (Y/n) said

" Damn right" Bucky cheered.

-

After dinner, the three moved themselves to the front room. Bucky and (Y/n) found themselves lost in their book, him on the floor and she on the couch, with Steve sketching them while a radio played softly in the background. He is on the couch with (Y/n).

(Y/n) was so engrossed in her book that she fell to notice when Steve abandoned his sketch and moved to read over her shoulder. Bucky watched in amusement for a few minutes as the two cuddled up to each other without even realizing it.

They curled up to each other, becoming closer and closer with each turn of a page. He also noticed how flushed each of them were becoming. Interesting.

"Whatcha reading?" She snapped the book shut, and Bucky couldn't help but laugh at how stunned they both looked. They looked like a pair of kids who got caught doing something they definitely shouldn't have been doing. "Okay, now you have to show me." He stood up and approached them, holding his hand out for the book. (Y/n) held the book close to her chest.

"It's just a book."

"An interesting book."

"What makes you think that?"

"How you cling to the cover, your flushed face, Steve's bulge." Steve quickly moves to cover his 'situation.'Bucky grinned as (Y/n) sighed and passed him the book. She moved to hide her face in a pillow as Bucky flipped through the book. " Let's see what's got you two so red."

"Bucky," Steve pleaded

" 'I should …really...get back to work.' Levi said in between her kisses but made no attempt to stop her or move her off of his lap. OH . Untying his tie she tosses it on the other end of the couch and began to unbutton his shirt as her lips moved to his neck hoping to mark her territory."

"Okay, that's enough." (Y/n) stood up and tried to take the book from him, but he held it above her head.

" he groaned as she choked on his - " the book was ripped from his hand and tossed across the room before he could even read ahead. He was shocked as he looked at her "What the fuck?"

"Sorry, I just -sorry."

"It's okay, I was just teasing. I'm sorry."

"I overreacted."

"You think." That earned Steve a pillow to the face. Bucky sat on the couch beside her. "where did you get that book anyway?" He asked

"Discount basket."

It took a moment, but the three of them began to laugh. They laugh hysterically for several minutes. Only stopping when they were finally out of breath.

"Getting dirty at a discount"

"Shush, Buck"

"Why'd you throw it?" he asked

"Wasn't a good read," she said, shrugging.

"Really, you seemed quite interested in it. Both of you."

" Mom won't be back until tomorrow morning," Steve suddenly said, gaining the attention of the two—one in confusion, the other in shock and joy. " we have the place to ourselves."

He took note of her confusion, and he began to stutter, " We-we could do it. Since we're al-lone."

Still confused.

"Sex. Steve is saying he's ready for sex."

"Oh," her voice reached a new pitch.

"We don't have to. Not really we-"

"Okay, I think I'm ready too."

They both turned to Bucky.

-

After talking some more in the front room, the three moved into the bedroom. Bucky took Steve into the bathroom to help him get ready, leaving (y/n) alone. (Y/n) had removed her dress and stockings and was now having an internal debate about whether she should take off her slip as well leaving her in her underwear.

She quickly lost her decision as the door opened, and the two stepped in, Bucky in his pants and tank top and Steve with a towel around his waist.

"Hi," she said

"hi," Steve returned.

Bucky sat at the desk, and Steve and (y/n) stood in front of him, waiting for instructions. Inexperienced students waiting for their experienced teacher.

" I want you two to be comfortable and enjoy this. You should experience each other first."

"You just want to watch us," Steve scoffed, crossing his arms

"Yeah, you're a perv." (Y/n) agreed.

"Sure am. Now put on a show for this perv."

And confidence is gone. The two just stood there for a moment, fidgeting. It was Steve who got the courage to make the first move, asking to kiss. Bucky watched as the two kissed, starting off as gentle and sweet before progressing into a more heated kiss. He took note of their hands (Y/n)'s hands, pulled at her slip, and hovered over Steve's chest. His hand gripped his towel. Both seemed eager yet afraid to touch.

"You can use your hands." He encouraged. (Y/n) was the first one to move, putting her hands on his shoulders. She pulled him closer before suddenly pushing him away. Steve had quickly thought he had did something wrong and stepped back further ready to apologize before he realized she was just removing her slip.

Quickly stepping out of it, she reaches Steve again and-

"What is that?" Bucky asked, interrupting and reminding them they weren't alone. They stepped back from each other. " What are you wearing? What is that?"

"My girdle?"

"When did you start wearing a girdle? I've never noticed."

" I've... I gained some weight in the back, and I've been having trouble...This slims me out." she kind of wished she kept her slip on now not liking where the attention was going.

"You don't need to slim out," Steve said. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you." She decided to keep the comments about how this beauty fit her clothes a bit too tight to herself. Now was not the time for that. Plus they couldn't help anyways.

" How about we take it off," Bucky said, motioning her over. As she stepped forward, he tugged on her girdle and was surprised to find how tight it was. Giving it a few more big tugs it finally came off. " Much better".

She gasped as he kissed her stomach, fueling the heat that was growing in her stomach.

"you should move to the bed."

"Okay." She moved to the bed, pulling Steve with her. She connected their lips again with far more eagerness than before, her hands feeling aimlessly against his flushed skin, gripping and pulling at anything she could get her hands on. Steve left himself to her mercy, letting her take whatever she wanted, simply breathing her in, accepting everything she gave, feeling the heat between their bodies.

"Take off the rest," Bucky called attention to himself. " If you want to actually do it, you need to take off the rest."

No longer shy, the two eagerly shed the last of their clothes.

In the year since their physical relationship began, the throuple had had several intimate moments that involved heavy petting, hands, and fingers and clothes. They had never removed each other's clothes. Some form of fabric was always between them.

Until now.

(y/n) stood shyly, chest red, nipples hard, and a wetness between her thighs that would have had her embarrassed in any other situation. But right now, she was busy eyeing Steve.

Steve stood more like a soldier, chin up, chest out, and head forward. Standing at attention, much like his cock. Which stood tall and wrapped. His stance was more so helpful with his heart rate and breathing. The moment (Y/n) removed her clothes, he lost his breath and feared he'd have an asthma attack before they could even start and ruin everything.

Bucky saw this, the way Steve was breathing through his nose and clenching his hands at his side, clear signs of fighting an oncome asthma attack. He decided to step in a bit more.

"Alright, Stevie, lay down." He was quick to follow instructions. Laying across the bed. Bucky took (Y/n)'s hand and led her to the bed. Helping her up and to straddle Steve sitting on his thighs. He sits next to them.

"Now listen, doll, I'm about to teach you something very important," he said to (y/n) as he kissed her nose. He then pulls a square package out of his pocket. She reaches for it, but he pulls it away. " What is is?"

"A condom?"

"Yes, and I'm going to teach you how to put it on Stevie here, okay?" she nods. " Mind being our test dummy punk." He leaned down to kiss him.

Opening the package, he hands it to (Y/N), and they handle it together. Him placing his hands over hers.

Steve gasped as they touched him, slowly stroking him. " Make sure he's tall and stiff for us." He moaned as they swiped his tip, which was leaking pre-cum. Bucky watched as (Y/n) sighed slightly, licking her lips. Something to explore at another time.

"And now, we're going to pinch the tip and roll it down." Steve closed his eyes tossed his head back and held his breath. They rolled it down all the way to the base and gave it a squeeze.

"Ta-da, you do so well," Bucky said as he leaned down, kissing Steve's neck. "Almost there."

He kisses (Y/n) neck. His fingers went down, and she gasped as she felt him touching her lips. She was more than wet enough.

"Are we ready?"

(Y/n) and Steve nodded nervously. He let go and stepped back, sitting at the desk again. They looked at him, confused.

"This is for the two of you. I'm just watching." Bucky said," Or I could leave and give you some privacy if you'd like?"

"NO" they both screamed.

"Please, no," Steve said, his breath starting to pick up as he sat up

"Please don't go. What if we do something wrong?" Syn said

" I won't go," Bucky said. " And do what feels natural. Follow your instincts and ask if need be. You'll be alright."

They two looked at him nervously, and he just nodded. They both turned back toward each other.

"Hi," they whispered to each other.

(Y/n) took a deep breath before lifting her hips. Steve gasped as she took him in her hands. She held her breath as she started to slowly sink onto him. Steve gasped as the tip slipped in the warmth, wetness, and tightness. (Y/n) whimpered as he slipped further in.

"STOP" Steve shouted breathlessly as he reached up, gripping her hips. " Fuck, please stop. I need to breathe."

"oh, oh no. Are you having an asthma attack? I can get off."

"No." Steve stopped her from getting up, gripping her hips tighter." I just need a moment to breathe. To catch my breath."

"Steve," Bucky spoke up. " You can stop here."

"No, I don't want to. I just need a moment, please."

"Okay, okay," (Y/n) leaned down, kissing his cheek. "Take your time."

Fortunately, he only needed a few minutes before he thought himself read (her thighs were starting to burn). She sunk the rest of the way down, taking all of him. Steve whimpered and dug his nails into her hip.

"Can I move?" (y/n) asked

"God, yes, please, yes." closing his eyes and tossing his head back.

She did as told. Slowly, she started going up and down, bouncing on him and moaning softly. She leaned forward, placing her hands on either side of his head. She continued to bounce. The sound of moans and skin slapping filled the room.

The site, the sound, Bucky couldn't help himself as he slipped his hand into his pants, finding his already leaking cock. He bit back a moan as he began to stroke himself as he watched (Y/n) start to bounce faster.

" I -I want a kiss," (Y/n) asked, still bouncing on Steve." Please, can I have a kiss, Stevie?"

He opened his eyes and-

"NGH ahhh"

He came.

The site of her leaning over, face and chest flushed, breast so close, and then further now where they were still connected. Yeah, he came in an instant. (Y/n) stopped.

"Fuck, I'm- I'm so sorry. I don't- I didn't-"

"That was a pretty face," she suddenly said, and it was. It made that feeling in her stomach tighter and warmer. She wished it lasted longer, that she had taken a picture of it, and that he'd done it again.

"Shit" They both looked up to see Bucky slumped down in his seat with a hand down his pants and a large wet spot formed on his pants.

(Y/n) started to sit up and remove Steve.

"Doll, did you finish?" Bucky asked.

"Um, no. But that's okay. A friend told me girls can't always finish like boys." (Y/n) just shrugged it off.

"No." Bucky removed his hand from his pants and approached the bed. He pushed her back down on Steve's cock, making his whimper" Stevie, this right here" He took his hand and put it right on her clit. "Rub it in circles."

(Y/n) yelp as he touched it and moaned as he began to rub it in circles. That warm and tight feeling in her stomach started to return. Steve whimpered as he felt her tightness around his already sensitive cock. He began to rub faster as he felt the need to come again. With the tightness surrounding his cock and Bucky whispering in her ear to make her come, make her come on his cock, treat her good. Be Good.

He was coming again, and she was coming this time as well. She moaned as she collapsed on his chest, arching her back nails digging into his chest.

-

"How was it?" Bucky asked as he watched (Y/n) dap the small cuts on Steve's chest. After being spent, Steve quickly gave in to exhaustion, leaving Bucky and (Y/n) to clean him up.

"It wasn't what I expected," (Y/n) said as she helped Bucky lift Steve's hips, putting some boxers on.

"Is that good or bad?"

"Good. It was really good."

[overtaken-stream]

Do you have any writing plans involving Katakuri or the Big mom pirates?

Monster's Voice Is Sweet To Hear

Charlotte Katakuri x F!Wife!Reader

! !NSFW! !

This is from ao3, last year, sorry for any grammar mistakes, as well as my different writing, this is also the first time I wrote filth, aside from the love-making in the Ace fic from Ao3. I want to write something for him but the ideas are just not coming to me. I also didn't specify readers race. Just that it's a female and tall/stronger then a human since we all know Big Mom won't just toss away Katakuri and make him marry a boring human with no specialties. this could work on all shapes and sizes of reader, chubby and skinny.

Word count: 5.8k

Summary: Rarely in the dead of night, a monster such as Katakuri needs love. It's something you can't say no to. After all, how can you deny that unnerving voice of his.

Warnings: Size difference, POST-WANO SPOILERS, multiple rounds.

In the quiet night, where only the humming of your voice is heard.

Light from the cake-inspired lamp bounces off the pink walls the shadow that's in a silhouette of a woman falls onto the giant bed in the center of the room.

On a quiet night, a married girl takes her jewelry off and places it in one of the drawers the magenta bureau contains.

You stand up from the chair, getting closer to the bed. Getting out of your clothes and putting on a modified (F/C) nightgown, you straighten the hot pink details running over your tall figure as you lie down on the heavenly bed.

Only at the sound of a door opening did you quickly get under the blanket. The sound of metal and leather rubbing against itself notifies you of the person who walked in before they can even say anything.

``(Y/N).``

``Katakuri.`` You shyly show your face from the covers to see the sight of your husband of 3 years now, even after all this time you can feel the blush creeping up your face, no matter how long you will never get used to seeing a man that's able to look down at you. That stoic and firey gaze always unleashed the butterflies deep inside your belly.

``I apologize for startling you, I've seemed to... Be distracted lately.`` This was his way of saying I forgot to knock on the door. With much time you start to learn the ways of Katakuri's speech patterns. Start to recognize what words his pride was holding back even from you. Apologetic wasn't one of them. It isn't like he's trying to hide something after all you've seen his biggest weakness in action multiple times, gobbling all kinds of sweets. But never have you thought forgetting was something Katakuri was capable of. It wasn't until after the incident at Pudding's wedding involving the Strawhats that Katakuri's mask, which he had been carrying since marrying you (probably much, much longer than that) truly shattered. Thanks to his younger sister Flampe not keeping her mouth shut about how horrid her big brother is physically and then about his treatment towards her, after what she did. The brat even tried to approach you to run her tongue about Katakuri. Your husband.

Honor is off the table when faced with a person with that kind of mindset. Never mind the respect when facing a worthy opponent.

``Mind if I join you?``

``No, not at all.`` You smile as you watch him carefully get out of his uniform. Never did you imagine you would smile at Katakuri, compared to the sad bride and groom the two of you were. The new life treated you both kindly, it wasn't fast but it wasn't slow-paced either.

The stiff and awkward interactions turned into small conversations about interests and they blossomed into what can only be fondness. The road came with its fare-share of bumps, and both of you dived head first in this with only your families in mind, ready to throw away what little freedom both of you had for your parent's satisfaction.

At the wedding ceremony, walls were built. Walls that cracked the more time you spent with each other.

``Y'know, Luffy was announced as an Emperor today.`` You fill in the silence. Knowing Katakuri's favorite topic you slide in the information.

Katakuri stops mid-changing and raises his head at that. He had told you about Luffy a couple of weeks ago, finally emptying his head to you about the topic he was trying to tell you the moment he returned to your room injured. You didn't push him back then.

The time will come when he'll bring it up. You would tell yourself. It's his calculations of reactions that hold him, little insecurities eating him up and even if the conversation was late, you are happy that he was finally opening up. To you at least.

``Is that so?``

``Yeah, it was in today's newspaper. It said he defeated Kaidou, impressive huh?``

You watch as he nods his head. You debate for a second if you should tell him the next sentence, but he is her son, after all, today he dedicated himself to the library (A time he cherishes since it happens so rarely. A battle with the Straw Hat sure tired him out. You wonder if it's a blessing in disguise sometimes. If it is you wouldn't be surprised.) and judging from his lack of knowledge about the feat Luffy accomplished, you might as well tell him now...

``Surgeon of Death and The Eustass kid from the Worst Generation were involved... They defeated Big Mom.`` At that, you can feel how the temperature drops in the room, his movements to put the clothes back in their place slowed down until they came to a stop. It almost felt like time had stopped.

``I've heard about that. All the commotion in the palace this morning was from Perospero's call. They needed a backup to retrieve them.`` He says as the heavyweight is lifted off the room, letting go of the fabric he was holding onto, the time begins to roll once again.

You don't bat an eye at Katakuri's actions and his casualness. You doubt he would mourn his mother.

You quiver as the blanket is thrown off of you, the chill biting your arms and chest before he joins you on the bed. You fix your body position as the natural warmth his body carries sends shivers down your spine. Your back facing his chest as his giant hand creeps up to cradle your waist.

You shy away or try to. But the moment his fingers softly graze your pelvis, a tight knot starts developing, his shy yet soothing and careful touches sending the blood up to your face.

He's mindful of his heaviness, even if you are taller than a human should be, more tolerant and powerful, he treats you the same as he would to his child siblings, with feather-light touches. It's instinct at this point. It makes you nervous. Makes you red and sad, as well as happy that he also wasn't the only one with bad habits.

Habits that differentiate you two are rare. Since most of them are dependent on higher-than-an-average-human height.

``Is this okay?`` his open eyes travel over your face devoid of any skin color except red. You nod.

``...May I?`` The awkwardness in his voice is precious. Sweet as a mochi should be. Not how a monster's should be.

It makes your heart skip a beat and your core to pulse.

The impatience takes over when he's leaving lingering touches closer and closer to where you would like the itchiness to go away. The temptation to grab his hand and drag it to your genitalia is strong. Biting the bottom lip you feel his hand cup your crotch, and it's a feeling you'll never get tired of.

He shoves the gown's bottom piece up to your belly button, getting the cue you grab the (F/C) silky cloth. It's tacky but it was one of the more subtle ones that Brûlée has picked for you.

You shift your left thigh to the side when the tips of his finger flex on top of your clitoris, a thin layer of fabric stopping him from intruding, yet he is still making you pulse and drowning you in the electric shock of pleasure. The fingers slowly run over it, again and again putting no pressure behind the movement.

When his right-hand digs behind your back, your flushed face barely turns around to ask him what he is doing.

``Changing position...`` Katakuri says as he carefully scoops your neck between his forearm and upper arm, his left hand grabs onto your right hip.

His show of strength as he gets you on top of him in a second, leaves your knees shaking. At first, you lay on his chest with your back pressed against him.

Even with your superior height he somehow manages to make you feel as if you were a human, it makes you doubt your reality for a millisecond, his right hand balancing you and the other one going down your body a bit too fast, your suspicions are confirmed by the impatience with which he tosses the blanket off of your bodies. The room temperature now no longer poses a threat to your skin.

This time he isn't as slow with his actions, leaving the undergarments on, he rubs up and down your slit, feeling its warmth escape onto his sweaty hands.

The quiet room was momentarily full of little gasps and beating hearts of both parties. A squeak leaves your mouth as you rise from your position on his chest, leaning on your elbows that are still... On his chest. The coldness that sudden separation brings on your back is forgotten as you look down to where Katakuri is making laps around you. The moisture grows in seconds when he presses his thumb on your clit, slowly rocking it sideways and tightening the knot deep within you.

You try to bite the bottom of your mouth to not let the noises escape but as Katakuri flattens his hand so his index and middle finger are sliding and tickling your entrance, the task to stay quiet becomes very difficult. You feel the way he snakes his second hand up your breasts while the other separates the undergarment from your folds. Little moans sneak past your lips as you look straight down, the bulge that shows from underneath your thighs just makes your heart beat out of your ribcage.

Katakuri lays his forehead on your shoulder as he feels the wetness coating the surroundings of your entrance, he knew the smaller hands were coming before feeling them pull down the owner's panties, momentarily stopping for her to take it off before he continued infiltrating it. His right hand fondling with your breasts squishing them but not rough enough to hurt you.

For a split second, you felt the pain of the stretch, arching your back and tossing your head over his shoulder as Katakuri's other hand played with the silk-covered nipple, he pushed his forehead down on your cleavage, it wasn't in his intentions but the size difference was really making your mind mushy.

You could feel him shaking from below you as you rest on top of him, closed eyes and clean mind absorbing your movements.

For a couple of seconds, you lay like that, panting breathes and already sweat covered. He won't move. He won't hurt you. He'll give you time to adjust.

Your hand lands on his crimson hair, fingers run through the short pink layers devoid of grey. It startles him, eyes snapping open he looks to his left shoulder where you are resting your head and meets his beloved's smiling face staring back at him.

Pink dusted his cheeks and as his heart jumped, his mouth opened and closed, this nervous feeling is shameful to him. The big brother Katakuri was still getting used to his new-not-so-new feelings towards new-not-so-new his wife, and expressing them to her face turned out to be the most complicated and difficult part. (Aside from Brûlée, she has seen him at his worst. It's a new feeling, a new type of embarrassment he hasn't experienced with anyone, not even Brûlée. The thought of this ever getting out almost frightens him. It frightens him.)

At last, he chooses to look away as you chuckle.

``C-can you move now?`` He nearly forgot.

``Are you... Sure?``

``Yeah, now c'mon... I was so close...``

He continues his motions with soft pink shades over his face, and slowly the two fingers slide deeper into your gummy walls. The clenching makes him wish it was some other part of his inside of you instead of his fingers. He listens as hisses leave your lips from the painfully nice stretch, the tears gathering at the corner of your eyes being wiped away by Katakuri's other hand that took a break from playing with your breasts, he feels his boxer get tighter when your legs shake around his massive thighs, for a second he feels glad that you aren't super tiny, it makes this feel like the first time both of you did it. It holds a special place in his heart, the lovely touches have never been that satisfying. And every time you take your time to show affection to him during it- he falls further and further in love with you. Even if he doesn't show it, or return them, he appreciates the gestures.

He knows it's time to start the actions of love and that you would certainly never reject it. It's the childish fear keeping his head and eyes locked away during them. Is he shy? Maybe. Does he wan't to return the gesture? Some would think that he doesn't.

The whimpering noises fill his head as he finally went in knuckle deep, he lifts his head from your cleavage and brings your face closer for a kiss, eating the deep moan that leaves your mouth when he pulls out his finger and pushes it back into the warmth. Watching with open eyes how your eyebrows point up in pleasure twisting into a lustful picture he'll love for the rest of his life. The fact that he is the only one who's allowed to see it makes his head dizzy with what other expressions he could steal from you.

He slowly fastens his pace, making and leaving your walls a mess before he gets back in and fixes it with his fingers, finding that spongey spot was easy, having it memorized Katakuri curves his fingers upwards and pistons into it, barely taking his fingers out.

One after another lustful noises (now louder than ever) escape before you can bite your tongue. At some point, drool started coming out of your mouth. Eyes closed you can feel how Katakuri milked your sweet spot brutally, making your cunt weep and sting oh so impossibly delightfully.

His hand and your thights are all wet now.

``Just aah little m-more...!``

You were so close. So incredibly close.

The moment Katakuri forced his hand to dig deeper in your cunt, to get past the line of his knuckles, and pushed upwards into your belly, forcing you to arch for him harder was the moment you were seeing stars.

Your closed eyes were going into your head and your wide mouth was slack as he held your hip with one hand and rubbed your clit faster than ever with the other one. Throwing you off the edge and finally loosening the knot that was tied at the start, slick now not-so-unclear dribs down your slit, he doesn't let you have a break, hand still accompanying you even after your orgasm.

You don't complain.

He slowly pushes your pelvis down with his forearm to meet his hips, not slowing his fast-paced rubbing. Your moans are now as free as they can be, but you limit yourself, wanting to hear little grunts and deep slow moans from Katakuri. You honestly think you could cum from his voice alone.

He's beautiful you think.

His eyes are closed, the furrowing thin eyebrows holding onto the sweat drops that are covering his face in a thin layer of gloss. His eyes are closed yet he seems so concentrated to make you cum again. The vein in his forehead is on full display for you. His naturally long eyelashes adorned his hooded eyes.

``You're Beau...tiful... Kata...``

The way he hides his mouth in your cleavage and not in your shoulder because of his big size, the way he is avoiding eye contact the moment you whispered those two words. The way your heart shattered, is like no other pain you've felt. Because this boy is so... So incredibly sad. You want to kiss the pain away, the worries to be crushed under your tall figure. You want to shield him because he deserved so much more than this family.

``Sooo pretty... C-can you look...at me?`` Exhausted, you reach out.

You don't pay attention to the second orgasm, too busy complimenting him about his beauty. You miss how he is rutting his clothed hips right on your naked ass. You don't miss how he turns his face to the opposite side from you, you don't miss the red-colored ears as you hug his neck. Biting his ears as you are getting closer yet again. You notice how he's gone quiet the moment you praised him. How he is listening to your moans right in his ear.

Suddenly he crashes his hips into you, stinging sensations of him losing grip on his strength lays mockingly on the prints he has branded on both sides of your hips. Even if you were drowning in an indescribable pleasure you didn't miss the way he threw his head back, he almost roars a held-back-moan as wetness spreads on your ass. You don't have to look down to know that both of you guys's cum is wetting the sheets below.

Did he cum by pleasuring you?

Shit... That's so... Hot.

You've known there were ten million ways to love somebody and this. This was one of them.

Katakuri relaxes on the pillow behind him, coming down from the high he tossed both of you in, your arms still around his neck. He opens his eyes looking down at your face, It's a mess really, with sweat and hair sticking on your forehead, swollen lips from the previous kiss (he spends extra seconds looking and feeling the breasts resting against his own skin) but it doesn't matter to him, all he sees are the fruits of his labor. He finally removes his hands from your hips, his gaze falling on a now-covered-by-your-nightgown spot.

Did he leave a mark?

A giggle escapes from your lips before you can stop it, earning a playful glare from his direction. What's so funny?

``Aha-I'm sorry, it's just. You're so red!`` He looks through you, unfocusing his eyes before turning his (now red from embarrassment) face away from you.

You rub your cheek against him, feeling the stitch scars that lead to his mouth hole.

``Awh! C'mon don't hide from me!``

``...You're getting brave (Y/N)...``

``I don't have to be brave to call my husband beautiful and handsome! Plus you're so cute right now!``

``I'm not cute...``

``Sure you're not.`` You're pushing it. You are sure as hell not sure where this confidence came from but you aren't complaining.

Putting your hand under his chin and turning his face toward you.

His eyes settle on your lips before you pull yourself up to make your (S/C) lips land on his monstrous mouth. Like a beast, he doesn't close his eyes, unlike you.

Yet again choosing to make up for the time he closed his eyes during the sex. Staring into your wet eyelashes.

His left arm drags you so impossibly closer to his chest, in a hug while his other hand puts a strand of (H/C) hair back over your ear. When you try to pull away he follows your lips down. Cherishing the strawberry residue that the lipstick left.

A couple of moments last of you two in a romantic kiss before it turns into playful pecks across each other faces. Katakuri was careful with his fangs, still getting used to having someone get as close as he was to the white knives. He calls them and judging from the sharpness you can't exactly call him wrong.

It lasts like that for more than necessary. The sweet touches turned harsh from him is a normal feeling for you, pain tolerance is one of your specialties. It's in your blood. There is nothing he could do from the outside that could hurt you. From the inside, it's a different story.

It's the reason why Charlotte Linlin chose you to be the bride for her second son.

``He's a monster in humans skin,`` She said.

``Better have that scarf around you at all times Katakuri, don't frighten the soon-to-be bride.``  She said at one of the tea parties she had invited your family over.

It was humiliating for him to hear those words, let alone in front of a different kingdom's royal family. Those words were enough for you to have an opinion set on Big Mom.

And Katakuri too. It was respect, you respected him for putting up with people like his mother daily. Another thing to add in the similarities chart besides the height.

``Don't you think your genetic powers would make lovely children for my boy here darling? Wouldn't that be wonderful?``

You pity the children you have to give birth to. Because you know it will happen.

Her piercing gaze and a change in tone was the only reason you nodded your head. It was how the entire party went actually, with you acting like one of Big Mom's homies. Bobbing your head to every compliment she would say about you and your powers.

Maybe that's what left a sour taste in Katakuri's mouth. Why he avoided you for a couple of months after the wedding, he probably saw you as a fragile bimbo who was swayed by fear.

You would hate to say it but the truth is always hard to swallow.

It was what you were before the wedding and after. No doubt about that. The fear of upsetting a bomb that was Big Mom terrified you to your core. You could take Katakuri ignoring and avoiding you but you could never say no to them, the strings she had on your family were too tightly tied around their necks to risk it. Not to mention the thousands of people's lives each of your family member represented.

``The more you fuck around the more you're gonna find out`` As your diplomat father would say in all kinds of situations. It's just that in this instance it wasn't comedic.

It was a psychological thriller. And fucking around you couldn't.

It was a sad start to your relationship with him, an unwanted marriage both of you were against at first, maybe in another lifetime one of you would have had a voice to protest it. But for now, you enjoy the soft embrace of his arms around your shoulders. A loud banging of his heart against your ear.

The chill of the aftermath leaving your body and replacing it with a sticky feeling between your crotch and the smell of sex that wasn't visible at the time.

``Well then, don't you want to clean yourself up?``

``No, I don't.``

``W-why not?`` Usually, Katakuri loves his cleanliness, organization, and tidiness. He showers after coming home, often he's the one running to the bathroom with towels in his hands before you can even process that you've arrived home.

``...I just don't want this to end.``

``... You...`` And you thought Katakuri had run out of his surprise factor. It makes you want to toss your feet in the air with tiny kicks, giggles and everything, it makes you blush.

Seriously? Why are you acting like a schoolgirl with a crush on her upperclassmen?! Have you lost all your marbles in you, woman?! Where is the royal blood?!

You can practically feel the inner, secondary or tiny voice in your head yelling at you.

``Y... You do...?`` Unbelievable.

A nod from him is all you need.

``Y'know, we don't... Have to end it...``

``What?`` God his obliviousness makes you want to strangle him.

``We can... Continue it instead...I-i mean... If you... Want..?`` You run your index finger over his chest, tracing the tattoo with half-lidded eyes and lips in a kissing position. If this isn't lustfull, you don't know what is.

``...``

``...``

``... We can?`` His shocked eyes leave you once again, speechless.

``Of... Of course, we can! If you have any energy left that is... What made you think that we couldn't..?``

Sex is something that rarely happens between you and him since both of you most of the time are sent out for missions separately, however, If your memories aren't lying to you there are a total of four times (not counting this one) that you guys have slept together. How many times did he want to cuddle after sex? 2 times? 3 times?

Such a bad wife you've been to him.

WHAT DON'T THINK LIKE THAT!

Your questions go unanswered. Instead, he gently turns you onto your back, his hands balancing himself like a pole, they shut off your field of vision 'till you can't look anywhere instead up.

And up you look.

You think it's a sight any fair lady would go feral over. So what if you've seen this many times before, it never fails to make you nervous, the confidence dripping off of him, even if shaky eyesight proves just how unconfident he is.

Swoon over him you do.

The feeling you got at the start of the night coming back ten times stronger and filling up your heart until it's back to the pace it was before, this time maybe even shaking sideways for dramatic or. romantic effect.

Your breathing quickens as his head follows his body that was leaning on his thighs which were usually heavy with accessories of any kind, mostly following his gothic style with minor changes. Now he stands on top of your legs with his free-of-any-weight ones, caging yours with his knees. He has a charm in the way he travels his hand down on your skin, giant fingers ghosting over the most sensitive of places. The size difference isn't much but staring at your squished thighs and comparing it to the thickness of his knees makes your breath hitch, gulping you look up towards his face.

Katakuri's sharp crimson eyes glimmer down at you.

He had never once failed to make you feel so unbelievably small under his gaze, you find this exact moment perfect to take off your sticky nightgown that's wet with substances from both of your bodies. It turns out to be a good hiding device for your face, too bad it only lasts a couple of seconds before Katakuri gets suspicious.

Once over your head, you toss the (F/C) fabric somewhere on the floor. Presenting your fully naked body to him.

You don't know when or how he got the boxer off, but he now stands in all of his glory. One would think he was flexing his muscles, and he was. With how heavily Katakuri was breathing, you would have run your fingers up his tattoo if he didn't grab your legs first, taking them out of his leg jail, it was an awkward struggle to pull them over his thighs but he managed to not stretch it out for too long.

It felt so right, you against him fitting like puzzle pieces, your warm legs clinging onto his hips that are the perfect fit for your long legs.

It's your fantasy coming to life and so is his.

Katakuri pulls your hips near his pelvis to get you in a comfortable position. His fingers play with your now relaxed entrance. His other hand strokes his sex in front of you.

Shyness is thrown out of the window.

``I'll... Be slow.`` He always says that. But he can not help the roughness come into play the moment you get used to having him inside you.

You shiver as his head presses against your folds, hiss as it's slowly getting past the cold surface and into the warmth your insides bring. You hear him let out a grunt of his own. The shakiness of his hands on your hips calms the arch your back has been put into.

Katakuri pushes in with slow motions.

He tries to distract you will little strokes up and down your arched back.

You try to not tense up, you really do, but his fingers weren't enough for you to have been ready for his cock. It has that extra length and thickness his fingers weren't capable of having.

The sting leaves you panting and watery-eyed.

Katakuri looks down at you, completely stopping his actions when the walls around his girth close his pathway to bliss.

He lets you relax and adjust to his length. Looking at your face when you wipe your not-yet-spilled tears. Feeling the walls grip and loosen around him makes him close his eyes, ignoring the sparks of pleasure that are signaling him to just rut into you. He turns his face back to you, opening his eyes.

Katakuri doesn't ask you to relax, he knows you're already doing that and he knows you'll signal him to move onward, there is no need to remind you of what's obvious. So he stays quiet, humming and touching you elsewhere across your body, a gentleness he didn't know was capable of, coming forward and dripping honey over your pain, sugarcoating it with his lips that are kissing up your neck.

You put your hands over his shoulders, feeling the pain go away only for it to be replaced by numbness. calming down you nod your head against his scarred cheek.

``You can go on... Now.`` And he does. Slowly and surely with the help of the previous round. He bottoms out.

Your walls surround him, while his grunts surround your head. Both of you stay still for a moment, him going back to kissing your shoulder while you hug his neck, lost in ecstasy.

The world is summed down to only him and you, even if you are running your eyes on the walls of the room, you're still breathing in his leftover cotton cologne, lingering on his skin for just a bit longer.

He starts moving, god he starts moving.

Rocking into you slower than ever, stickiness in your crotch area goes unnoticed. The feeling of him moving and dragging the pleasure away only for him to slide back in, adding the rubbing against your clit with his shortened pubes is soul-shattering in a pleasing way, making your brain mush and your mouth full of unholy sounds.

Sweat dribbles down the side of his face still buried in your shoulder. He is not a man who leaves hickeys. Even though It's impossible since he can't exactly hurt you, although he enjoys leaving marks with anything else, they don't last long, only a couple of minutes before it's back to the way your skin was. But he likes having your signatures on his back especially since that's the only place covered by his jacket in the public.

Even now you leave tiny trails with your nails on his back, not strong enough to break the skin but just enough for them to look like a part of his tattoo gone wild. it just sums up more blood on the southern side of his body, getting him harder than he was before.

It's too much for you when he starts setting a fast pace, his hips meeting yours midway through your grinding, it's too much you tell yourself.

The way he is holding his wide torso with his elbows right beside your shoulders since you didn't let go of his neck since you grabbed it. You feel silly, sticking yourself onto him this way but he doesn't have any complaints. Even if it's too much how you cum yet again with shaky legs and slick dripping down your crack and onto your arched back. Too much of him rocking into you. The mattress below you squicking and rocking with his thrusts. Not only the mattress, but his thrusts also drag your entire body with him, meeting him halfway through his pulling. Too much moaning coming from your side, it's too good.

Too good to tell him to stop.

You can't tell when you came again, the shakiness is blending in with his hips crashing into yours, and you can't tell what is your natural body's doing and what is Katakuri making your body do.

Him finding the sweet spot was the last thing you wanted him to do. You wanted him to find it.

But judging from the electricity hitting you full force again and again and again, making you cry out in all kinds of movements to push him away, you can't be sure.

Katakuri takes advantage of your vulnerability and pulls you away from him so you could relax on the light pink pillow almost swallowing you whole. Allowing him to thrust at a slightly different angle, an angle that also relieves tension from your back.

He straightens himself, now standing on his knees as he looks down at where your bodies are connected, he lands his hands on your hips setting an almost inhuman pace you aren't able to keep up with.

Not with your body and not with your mind.

He pays no attention to your face, you've had enough of that before. Instead, he watches as his hands slam your hips to him, and your poor clit swollen and sad, lies helplessly. Taking him with no problems.

``A-ah little more..`` he moans out. You want to cry at how much he wants to drag this out.

You can tell by the way his hips stutter before calming down completely, going back to the slow pace he did at the beginning.

It's too much.

``Katah-kuri, please!-`` Your voice cuts off by a scream that left your mouth when he slammed his hips back into you unexpectedly.

You can hear him chuckle lightly at your trembling figure lying under him.

It's like he is teasing you and himself.

Tears drip down your face as he repeats it a few times more, before grinding his pelvis when fully entering you cleanly. Your abused cunt beats against the few pubes it has stuck in the wetness surrounding it.

He doesn't let your wobbly legs slide down his thighs, holding them harshly and not letting your bottom parts get away from him.

You can feel it before it comes. The way a vein in his dick starts pulsing and throbbing. Filling your insides to the brim.

You don't look down, instead, you pay attention to Katakuri's Addams apple bobbing up and down in his thick throat accompanied by sweat drops, the way his heavy jaw comes up and down, and the way his eyes are closed and tensed as are his eyebrows. How the other shoulder free of any tattoo (one which you were previously gnawing on) is red colored. It's shiny with spit, tears, and sweat.

It's as far as you get before your heart finally calms down, forcing your eyes to close and your body to pass out, exhaustion finally catching up to you. The last thing you see is a blurry figure of Katakuri looking down at you.

His worried voice calls out to you.

And here you thought you could endure a monster's sweet voice.

[nataliasquote]

Double the trouble [pt.2] | n romanoff

Double the trouble au: part 1, part 2

Summary: Natasha and Wanda's teenage twin daughters are a lot to handle, but despite their differences and arguments, there's nothing they wouldn't do for each other

Warnings: none

Pairings: WandaNat, O!C x Valkyrie, Y/n x Bucky Barnes

wc: 3.7k

note: thank you for all the love on part 1!

— ⧗ —

"I'm home!" Isla called out as she stepped through the front door, her bag and coat slipping into a pile on the floor. She'd get yelled at about it, but that wasn't her problem right now.

Wandering into the kitchen, thumbs typing away to her group chat, she almost walked straight into Natasha who was stood in the doorway.

"Thank you." The Russian said, plucking the phone from her daughter's hand. Isla looked up to protest but bit her tongue as she saw her mother. "So that's how I get your attention. Got that Wanda?"

"Noted." The other mother teased, winking at Isla who just groaned.

"I know, I'm sorry. I was just checking details for the party tomorrow." Both Nat and Wanda's eyebrows shot up at the mention of a party. It was the first they'd heard of it.

"Party?" Nat asked, taking a seat at the kitchen counter. "What party?"

Isla wandered over to the fridge and grabbed a can of Dr Pepper, opening it at arms length incase it sprayed in her face. She'd made a habit of doing that ever since she was 11, when Y/N shook a van before handing it to her and it went everywhere.

"I was just going to ask you if I could go to a party tomorrow night?" She smiled sweetly, fully turning on the charm for her skeptical moms.

Natasha narrowed her eyes. "Who's party is it?"

"Maria's."

Wanda's expression softened as she heard the name. They both knew Maria was a good kid, albeit incredibly feisty. It was no surprise she got on so well with their girls. "And who's going?" Natasha was the picky parent, always asking questions on their whereabouts. It was the inner spy taking control.

"Everyone I guess?" Isla said with a shrug, taking a sip of her drink. She hopped up onto the countertop and Wanda went to protest before thinking better of it. She might as well have it recorded with how many times a day she tells the twins to stop sitting on the counter. Nat often joked that she was a broken record.

"Is Y/N invited?" Isla nodded as she took another sip. "Speaking of which, where's your sister?"

Isla smirked immediately, a playful glint in her eye. "Bucky took her to go and get ice cream." She had to suppress her grin as much as possible, but Wanda and Natasha still saw straight through her.

"He's still trying to win her over?" Nat asked and Isla nodded, eyes wide.

Wanda's jaw dropped. She loved a bit of gossip. "Y/N still hasn't said yes? I thought she said that weeks ago?"

"You know how Y/N is with her feelings," Nat said with a sigh. "She keeps them closed off from just about everyone. That poor boy must really like her." Isla nodded in confirmation as if to say 'oh he really does'.

"Sounds like someone else I know." Wanda said with a knowing look, making Nat roll her eyes.

"Hey, I was a spy. There's a difference!"

"Clearly not," Wanda shrugged. "She's your daughter, now look!" She stood up from her chair and made her way over to the fridge to start on dinner, kissing her daughter's head as she passed.

"So, Ils, any news in your love life?" Natasha asked, clearly trying to steer the subject away from herself.

The red headed teenager shrugged shyly, suddenly not open to talking at all. Natasha smirked at her body language, knowing there was something to hide.

"Okay spill, cmon. Who's the lucky lady?"

"It's nothing." Isla defended, a blush rising to her cheeks. "She doesn't really know I exist either."

"Who is it?" Wanda had joined in now. Both women were curious to see what their daughter's taste in women was like.

"Well, there's this girl in my science class called Valkyrie and she's just- effortlessly cool, and badass, and she takes no shit from anyone-"

"Hey, watch the language misses." Wanda pointed her wooden spoon at Isla, who clearly wasn't paying attention. Her mind was lost in the images of Valkyrie in her mind.

"Wands leave her alone, she's in love." Nat teased, earning a swat with a tea towel from her wife. "She sounds amazing Isla. Have you spoken to her at all?"

Isla shook her head dejectedly, suddenly very interested in the skin around her thumbnail. "And it's no use. She's too cool for me. I'll just look weird if I try to talk to her."

Natasha watched her daughter's deflated body language and stood up to give her a hug. She pressed a kiss to her soft red hair and just held her for a moment. "Is she going to be at the party tomorrow?" Isla nodded into her mother's chest. "Then talk to her. You've got the perfect opportunity there. Plus, dress cute and she won't be able to miss you." Pulling away from the hug, Nat sent Isla a small wink, which instantly put a smile on the girl's face.

"Your mother is right, you know. No one cares what happens at a party. Just talk to her, dance, do whatever you want to. Then she'll see just how cool you are too."

Isla grinned at her moms, feeling completely surrounded by love in that moment. "You guys are actually the best. I got so lucky." Nat ruffled her hair before she was swatted away by Isla.

"Well at least one of you is getting women! Wands, we did something right!" The couple high fived like a pair of children and Isla just her eyes playfully. "I never thought we'd have a boy in the house."

"I have to make up for Y/N's straight-ness somehow." Isla exclaimed with a wink. Her comment made Wanda turn around, her hand resting on her hip.

"Y/N? Straight? Do you even look at your sister?" Isla shot her a questioning look and Natasha laughed.

"Ils, your sister isn't straight. She's definitely got some bisexual going on. I mean... the rings, the braids, the leather jackets- she's not straight."

"But- Bucky?!" Isla protested.

"Bisexual, honey. She can like both."

Isla thought for a moment, clearing trying to remember the vibes that her sister gave off. I mean, cmon, it's not like they saw each other everyday and lived with each other. "Okay yeah," she said after a long pause, "I see it."

"Good." Natasha glanced at her watch on her wrist. "There's about 30 minutes until dinner and then I need you down here to set the table. Sound good?"

"Yup." The teenager scurried upstairs after grabbing her bag and sat down to scroll on her phone, or do "homework" as she'd told her moms earlier.

Roughly 10 minutes later, Y/N wandered through the door, a soft smile on her face. She mirrored her sister, leaving her coat and bag by the door and wandering into the kitchen for a drink.

"Ah, you made it back alive. How was it?" Natasha had to keep her curiosity to a minimum, not wanting to pry too hard and make Y/N clam up. But she didn't need to worry; the girl seemed far too loved up to notice. Not that she would ever admit it.

"It was good. They had the best mint choc chip I've ever tasted!"

Wanda smiled and turned away from the pot she was stirring. "And how's Bucky?"

"He's good." Y/N's attempt at being casual was given away by the heavy blush that crept up her cheeks. "We had fun."

"Just good?" Nat teased, earning an eye roll from her daughter.

"Mama he's just a friend."

Both women shared a knowing look and Nat tried to stifle a small laugh. They were fun moms, always teasing and joking with their girls whenever the opportunity arose.

"Sure, mhm, just a friend."

Y/N groaned loudly, clearly done with this topic of conversation. "Okay, whatever. I've got homework to do." She turned to leave before Nat caught her attention, stopping the girl in her tracks.

"Oh, Isla told us about that party tomorrow. You guys can go but we want you home by-"

" -home by 2am. Yes we know."

"Good. Or I'll turn you both into pumpkins." Wanda teased, making Y/N roll her eyes before she disappeared upstairs like her sister did.

Natasha opened up her laptop and began typing away to finish off some emails she had been replying to before her girls came home. She had a wide smile on her lips and Wanda couldn't help but gaze lovingly at her wife.

"I can feel you staring at me Wands. Don't burn the food please."

"I'm not staring, I'm admiring. And I'm not you either. I don't burn rice." Wanda blew a kiss across the room to her wife who turned around rather offended at that last comment. "It's just cute seeing you so happy."

Natasha quickly glanced at the staircase, careful that neither of the girls were coming down. "It's the joys of young love." She commented wistfully, scraping her chair back to go over to her wife.

Wanda was about to turn back to the stove when Natasha's gentle grip on her hips kept her in place. The Russian pressed their bodies together against the cool countertop and slid her arms further around so they connected behind Wanda, pulling her even closer.

"You make us sound old, saying that." Wanda whispered, eyes darting between her wife's captivating eyes and full lips.

"We've got two almost-adults. We are old." Nat placed a gentle kiss to her wife's lips, not missing how Wanda relaxed into her touch even more. "You're still just as sexy and beautiful though."

A blush crept into Wanda's cheeks and it felt as if they were teenagers again, just in love as their daughters are. "Just stop talking and kiss me."

"Yes ma'am." Nat obeyed her command and connected their lips once more, this time not pulling away. They'd mastered the art of a silent make out, not wanting Isla or Y/N to hear them upstairs. This one was gentle, tongues slowly swirling around each other as Nat pressed her hips into Wanda, trapping her against the counter. Wanda had moved her hands up to cup her wife's face, the simple gesture setting butterflies off in the redhead's stomach. It was the smallest actions that sent her all giddy.

"You know," Nat husked, sliding her hands lower down Wanda's back as they pulled away momentarily. "We've got a free house tomorrow..."

She trailed off, allowing Wanda to piece together the images in her mind. The Sokovian shook her head at her wife's mischievous smirk. "Natasha Romanoff, you have such a dirty mind."

"Oh tell me you didn't think about it too."

Not wanting to confirm or deny, Wanda just kissed her hungrily again, taking Nat by surprise. Part of her wanted to continue this make out session, but with dinner cooking and the possibility of being walked in on, it didn't appeal to her. "Okay, you're distracting me here. So go, I've got dinner to make." She swatted Nat's ass as the redhead shook it as she wandered back over to the table, her tongue running across her lips, still savouring the taste of her wife.

"I don't need to be kissing you to do that." She wore a cocky smirk and Wanda wanted nothing more than to swipe it straight off her face.

"Damn right you don't. But if dinner burns, you're explaining the truth to the girls." That shut her up and Wanda smiled triumphantly and turned back to her cooking as Nat suddenly became very busy in her emails.

"Just you wait until tomorrow." Nat mumbled under her breath, her mind now anywhere but those damn emails.

— ⧗ —

"Blue or green?" Y/N asked for the third time as Isla continued to shrug. She had two different dress options for the party and so far she was miles away from picking one. "Isla please. Blue or green?"

Her sister sat on her bed clutching a bottle of white nail polish and was carefully painting her toes. She eyed the dresses carefully, imagining them on her sister. But they were both cute, so she just shrugged.

"I don't know. They'll both look hot. Just pick one."

Y/N groaned, clearly getting frustrated. "Just pick a colour. Blue or green?"

"Green will make your eyes pop." Came a soft voice from the doorway. Both girls turned to see Nat casually stood there, leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed. "The blue is pretty, but the green is gonna make you look even more amazing."

"Green it is then." Y/N said with a satisfied huff, hanging the blue dress back in her closet. Nat let herself into the room and took a seat on the edge of the bed, careful not to mess up Isla's nails.

"How are you girls getting on? Nearly ready?" Well, they both weren't dressed, but they were supposed to leave in 30 minutes and Nat knew just how often the women in that house rushed to get ready. She came to give them a gentle push, but also to see if they needed any help.

"I just need to wait for these to dry, then I can get dressed." Isla ran a hand through her perfectly curled hair. "Oh and touch up my make-up."

Nat nodded and fixed a curl that had got caught around Isla's earring, earning a grateful smile from her.

"Do I put my dress on and then do my makeup? Or the other way around?" Y/N was full of mini dilemmas today; clearly she was putting a lot of pressure on tonight. Maybe for a certain guy...

"Does your dress need to go over your head?" Y/N shook her head. "Then do makeup first. Then you can stay comfy." Y/N slumped down onto the floor and grabbed her make up bag, preferring to do her make up infront of her large, full length mirror instead of the smaller one at her vanity.

Soft music played from the tv and Nat just smiled at how domestic it all felt. Although the girls had separate rooms, they often came to get ready in Y/N's which was closer to the bathroom. Despite frequent bickering and small arguments, the twins got along well and it was a sweet sight to see Isla curling Y/N's hair.

"I'll leave you girls to it then. Who's picking you up?"

"Clint said he'd call because it's on his way. I think his mom is driving us there and back." Nat smiled softly. They'd always got along well with the Barton family, having been friends with them since the girls were small. Clint was one of their closest friends, and Nat could see why. Even she found the boy funny and witty, despite his rubbing jokes sometimes.

Nat stood up and moved back to the doorway, turning around at the last second. "Okay, well, don't be too long. Your mom and I have got a couple of bottles you can take. But don't go mad tonight girls, okay?" The twins answered her in chorus, reassuring her that they would be okay. They had smart heads on their shoulders and had built up enough trust with Nat and Wanda to gain the privilege of having alcohol at parties. The parents weren't super strict, but they wanted to keep the girls safe. Naturally.

25 minutes later, both girls were by the front door, pulling on shoes and quickly checking their hair and make up infront of the large mirror on the wall. Y/N was getting frustrated with her converse laces and was huffing slightly, pulling them so tight it looked as though the laces might snap.

A loud honk came from outside and Isla peered out of the window to see Clint leaning over the steering wheel of his mom's car, much to her distaste. She dashed out of the front door and down the porch steps, yelling goodbyes to her moms who just laughed as she left.

Nat pressed a pack of ciders into Y/N's arms, along with a bottle of vodka. That was always in plentiful supply in the house, so one bottle meant nothing.

"Be safe, don't do anything stupid." Wanda said to her youngest, pulling her into a quick hug despite Y/N's protests to leave. But her struggling was pointless so she accepted the hugs and kisses before making her escape towards the car.

Both moms watched the black Audi pull off the drive and they hugged each other close before closing the door. A cunning smile made its way onto Natasha's face and she quickly turned Wanda around and pushed her body against the closed door.

"A promise is a promise." She said, her voice dropping a couple of octaves. Sounding even sexier than usual.

Wanda gulped, feeling her heart rate speed up as Nat's lips trailed across her collarbone. She knew she was going to be worshipped tonight; her wife certainly knew how to make her feel good.

— ⧗ —

3 hours in and the party was in full swing. The living room of Maria's house had been cleared to create a large dance floor, teens crammed together as they jumped to the music.

Y/N leaned against the far wall, a red solo cup clutched in her hand. She was tipsy, but not as wasted as her twin sister who was heavily making out with Valkyrie in the middle of the dance floor. The sisters caught each others eye and Y/N pumped her fist, earning a middle finger from Isla who's lips were still locked with her crush.

Laughing to herself, she took another sip of god-knows-what and wandered out into the garden, longing for some fresh air and peace away from the thumping bass. Although she was a dancer, parties and dancing weren't her thing. She felt too stiff and awkward, but outside she swayed lightly to the beat, helped by the alcohol rushing through her system.

"It's nice out here." A voice spoke from her right. The tipsy girl looked over her left shoulder before quickly switched to her right, a blush forming on her already flushed cheeks as she saw a familiar figure approach. Thank god for the dim lights.

"Yeah." She'd be kicking herself at that lame response, considering who she was talking to. "You okay?"

Bucky smiled, leaning on the back of one of the metal garden chairs. He looked hot, his shirt unbuttoned down to the centre of his chest and his hair gelled slightly but still the soft brown colour that Y/N had grown to love.

"Better now that you're here." He knew that game was risky, but all this chasing around had made him tired. He wanted her, so he was going to get her. He stared at her for a few moments, eyes raking up and down her figure. She looked stunning. Her simple green silk dress hugged all the right places, accentuating her small waist and long legs. Her hair rested perfectly down her back and Bucky had to swallow thickly a couple of times.

"You're a flirt." She laughed, taking a sip of her drink and frowning as a droplet rolled down her chin.

She tried to wipe it away but Bucky got there first, gently taking her chin in between his thumb and forefinger. He tilted her head towards him, making her entire body turn with the moment. Neither of them uttered a word, their eyes meeting like something out of a cheesy rom-com.

Bucky's thumb swiped across her lower lip slowly, collecting the spilled drink and brushing it away. He gazed into the forest green eyes staring back at him, admiring the tiny flakes of brown that lit up from the outdoor lanterns above their heads.

Y/N's breath was caught in her throat. She'd been dancing around Bucky for weeks, too scared to face her true feelings about him because the thought of that terrified her. But the alcohol in her system has cleared her foggy mind, bringing forward the thoughts she'd been pushing away.

She took a daring step forward, closing the tempting gap between them that spoke louder words than the music blaring inside. Nothing else seemed to matter as Bucky tilted her chin up and brought his lips to meet hers in a tentative kiss.

It was only peck before they pulled away, but something clicked between them both and their lips met once again, this time fuelled by more passion and lust, the nerves somewhere far away.

Y/N looped her arms around his neck and he slid his hand round to cup her cheek, careful not to disturb the kiss.

The whole world had melted away, meaning that Y/N failed to hear her sister stood behind the glass doors, jumping up and down and screaming with Valkyrie, Clint and Maria who were all ecstatic over the kiss that they'd been waiting for for months. They cheered loudly, high fiving each other with wide grins.

Clint handed Maria a $20 with a groan, his smile disappearing as he realised he lost the bed. The party host tucked the money into her bra and walked off with her head held high. Tonight has been a successful night.

— ⧗ —

After a rather rowdy car ride back home, Isla and Y/N stumbled out of the car, the latter thanking Clint's mom for the ride as the eldest made a 'run' to the front door.

She didn't even take her shoes off before she glanced around the house like a meerkat, desperately searching for someone to scream the news to.

Catching sight of the moms sitting at the kitchen table, Isla came crashing over, completely drunk.

"Mom! Y/N kissed Bucky!" Her voice was far too loud for 2am and both mothers winced slightly at the volume, before smirking at the news.

A very exhausted Y/N trailed in afterwards, her hands raised in protest. "No! That's not the only thing that happened!"

"Mom! I made out with Valkyrie!"

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

do we get to see the logan and wade conflict about writer!reader? i am loving the series so far!!!

Wade laid you on the couch carefully, "How the fuck did you not shred your feet?"

"I dunno-"

"And why the fuck did you lie to me?" he asked.

You shrug, "If I could have gotten a word in edgewise it might have been different. But you were so busy buying "world's okayest uncle" shit-"

"Calling myself the best is conceited."

"Fuck you." You give him a look and Logan can't see what passes between you. And he tries Not to go over there. Not to loom. But when you start crying again it takes a monumental amount of effort.

"Okay, okay I get it. I'm a fucking asshole," Wade said, pulling you into a hug and rocking you gently. "Please stop crying. Don't cry. Fuck-"

Logan quietly. It was the same tone of voice as a kid smacking the other to hard and saying "don't tell mom". Except neither of you ever really told your mom anything- Well. You didn't if you could help it anyway.

"Can't help it," you sniffle.

"If you don't stop crying, I'll cry," he teased, reaching over to pass you tissues.

"Why-"

"Because," Wade teased. "My baby sister is sneaky enough to hide a whole baby daddy- You really had me thinking it was that hack mystery writer."

"Ugh. He wishes."

______________

Logan knew he was being watched. Carefully. By everyone. And he tried not to take it personally. It was his own fault, anyway.

But- it didn't make it any easier to take care of you. At least not for him, he kept waiting for someone to yell at him. But. When you reached for him. Looking for HIM to help you or just to be close to him it helped.

"How're you feelin', Princess?" he asked, wrapping his arms around you in the kitchen.

"Like I could go back to bed," you yawn, pouring a cup of coffee. "But. I gotta get some work done. Come up with some bank account padding."

"Sleep okay?" he asked, kissing your shoulder. He'd been next to you. You'd been wedged between him and a pillow. But, that didn't mean you slept very much.

"Fine," you tell him, turning your head to look at him, "Just- still running numbers trying to make the math, math."

Logan shook his head and pulled you a little closer, tentatively laying his hand on your stomach- you were starting to get a little bump now. He'd felt it when he held you. But. He wanted. Well. What he wanted didn't really matter- you were hesitating about some things. He'd gotten heated kisses and he could smell the need; your hormones driving you up the wall. But he was trying to keep the ball in your court. Even if he'd love to take you back to bed and fuck the thoughts out of your head. Replace the needy painful ache you couldn't quite soothe with an ache that left you satisfied.

"I picked up some construction work," Logan said. "It's gonna be fine, Y/N."

"Logan-"

"I told you," he hummed. "I wasn't gonna be some fuckin' deadbeat and make you do it all." He cradled the little bump and bent his head to bury his face in your neck. Grateful you didn't push his hands away. " 's my baby," he said. "Gonna make sure they're taken care of."

"You're a good man for the worst Wolverine," you tell him.

He chuckled and hugged you a little tighter, "Gotta take care of my girl to take care of my kid," he reminded. He let go of you and went to his jacket, pulling out his wallet and a small wad of cash. "It's not a lot," he said. "Used a chunk to get some documents so I could get a bank account. But- Here" He held it out to you insistently.

"It's not that dire, Logan," you tell him, gently pushing it back. "I can manage for now-"

"Take it and get yourself something then," he said ignoring you and tucking it teasingly into your shirt between your breasts. Trying not to notice that your stomach wasn't the only thing looking a little rounder. "I'm not any good at picking out presents."

You feel your body flood with heat when his fingers brush the skin of your breasts and it's all you can do not to whine. "I- thank you," you murmur, kissing his cheek before you had to turn and leave the kitchen. Before you threw yourself at him.

Logan took a deep breath and let you go. The scent of your arousal making him feel weak-kneed. Ball in her court, he reminded himself. Maybe putting the cash in your tits was too much. But- he'd heard enough horror stories on daytime TV with Althea. He didn't want you thinking he didn't WANT to fuck you. And he didn't want you thinking that you weren't attractive to him. He'd made up his mind. This was his girl and his kid.

[xoxoavenger]

Give Me Your Weekends

pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

summary: But I knew you/Playing hide-and-seek and/Giving me your weekends, I/I knew you/Your heartbeat on the High Line/Once in 20 lifetimes, I/And when I felt like I was an old cardigan/Under someone's bed/You put me on and said I was your favorite

word count: 1263

cardigan masterlist main masterlist

"So, ya know how today was supposed to be our date night?" Y/N says as she gets home from work. JJ had just gotten back as well, but John B was still out. Sarah was on the couch, and for a moment Y/N thought of how weird it was that they were all living together.

"Yes." JJ starts, walking in and pausing. "Just like every other Saturday night."

"I got a call from the Kamps," She starts. She feels guilty, she does, but she couldn't pass this up and she hopes JJ agrees. "They asked me to babysit. They're paying well and we really need the money." They were trying to move out, because recently Kie and Pope had been staying over and there wasn't enough room for all six of them in the Chateau. Plus, it would be nice to have their own place, to show their parents that they were responsible despite their upbringing.

"It's fine." JJ smiles and puts his hands on her arms, effectively calming her down. "I'll come too, and we can make it a date night." She can't believe she got someone like JJ. Someone who would give up his date night, his weekend, just to be with her while she babysat.

"It's overnight." She cringes as she says it, but JJ just smiles and pulls her in.

"We can play house." She smiles as her face heats, her heart being overloaded with feelings.

"I love you." She tells him, arms around his neck as his rest low on her hips. She leans in for a kiss, and of course he accepts.

~

When they make it to the house, JJ realizes this is not in Figure Eight, like he once thought. This family lives on the cut.

"Oh my gosh, thank you so much!" Mrs. Kamp is saying, her hair a mess. She's disheveled, and JJ has a feeling he knows what she's gonna say before she says it. "I'm so sorry for the late notice, but our usual babysitter was busy and Mike's mother is in the hospital on the mainland."

"It's no problem, really. I hope your mother-in-law is alright." Y/N says with a smile. Mr. Kamp comes out with a bag over his shoulder. They thank the young couple one more time before heading out, leaving Y/N and JJ with the kids.

The kids who are much younger than Y/N thought.

Of course, Mrs. Kamp never told Y/N how old the kids were, but she assumed that at least one of them were older than five. However, they looked around two and four, both coloring at the table. There was a note on the counter, telling Y/N that she's welcome to sleep in their bedroom and to help herself to anything in the fridge or pantry, that Mrs. Kamp will text her to let her know when they will be coming back.

"Hello," She says cheerfully once she finishes reading, the two kids looking over at her. The older one was a little boy who looked like the carbon copy of his mother. The girl looked more like a mix of both, hair braided nicely. "My name is Y/N, and this is JJ." It was then that Y/N realized that she didn't know the name of the kids.

"My name is Landon." The boy says, going back to coloring. "My sister is Jane." Jane is still looking at them with wide eyes, clutching her crayon.

"Did you guys already eat dinner?" Y/N asks, not seeing any signs of a meal in the kitchen.

"Yeah. Mom made us mac n cheese and chicken nuggets." Landon spoke very well for a kid his age.

"Cheese!" Jane yelled, smiling brightly.

"Do you mind if I color?" JJ asks, going to sit on the empty seat next to Jane. She nods and hands him the purple crayon. "I like this picture you've made." Y/N's heart swells as she watches JJ with the little girl. They don't look anything alike, but Y/N can't help but feel her feelings expand out of her chest.

"I made a pirate." Landon says as Y/N goes to sit next to him. What he made is not a pirate, but in fact a bunch of scribbles.

"It looks wonderful." She says, smiling as she looks it over. "The shading is the work of a true artist." She tells him, watching him beam and blush.

After they were done coloring, Jane looked up at JJ with big eyes and said "Hide seek?" JJ wouldn't be caught dead saying no to this girl, so he nods and helps her clean up. The couple cover their laughs when the kids are hiding terribly, behind curtains or under blankets. At one point they lose Landon for a couple minutes, long enough for them to freak out slightly until they finally find him in the shower of the bathroom. After that, they get the kids ready for bed without a hitch. They ask for their parents once, but otherwise they go to sleep with their water bottles on each bedside table.

"I brought something for us to share on the patio." She tells him, smiling as she goes to her small duffle bag and pulls out two bottles of beer.

"A woman after my very heart." JJ smiles, leaning in to kiss her as he grabs a beer.

"I've already got it." She tells him. He shrugs with a smirk, taking her hand and leading her out to the patio. It's nothing special, just a small area that looks out the marsh. There's a couch swing, which they both slowly sit on.

They sit on the swing for awhile, Y/N leaning against JJ's chest, her legs curled up. He has his arm around her, thumb caressing underneath her shirt. When her beer falls against his leg and dribbles out the remains that she hadn't drank he looks over to see her asleep, mouth slumped open and body slack. For a minute JJ wants to keep her here. She's against his chest, which means she's listening to his heartbeat, something he knows she loves. So, for another half an hour, he lightly swings, finishing his own beer and listening to Y/N's soft breathing. But then he's starting to fall asleep, so he has to wake her up with a kiss to the forehead and some low murmuring.

"I want to stay out here." She tells him, but he just moves them to sit up and stand.

"The bed will be so much more comfy." He tells her, but she's still grumbling.

"I was comfy." She frowns, but he leads her inside, making sure the beer bottles are in his bag. He gets her ready for bed, helping her change and brush her teeth sleepily before stripping and hopping in with her. She moves around so that she's laying on his chest, asleep almost immediately.

"I love you," He tells her right before he goes to sleep, sure she's already asleep. He kisses her forehead and almost jumps when she leans and kisses his chest.

"I love you more." With that JJ almost can't sleep, because his heart feels so light. "I want to get married." He tenses, heart pounding as he hears her breathing even out. He feels sick thinking about that kind of commitment; his parents were married, and look how that turned out. His father almost killed his mother before she left, and now he's the one with bruises. Oh God, what if she wants kids? He'd turn out just like his dad. He'd ruin everything.

JJ has to leave.

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler

[stoutguts]

headcanon rambling/my personal hc for Johnny's backstory bc I think it'd be interesting also I like the idea of Ghoap where the both of them had a shitty childhood bc of an abusive parent and the both of of them hv trauma/I love angst 💕

CW: drug add\ction, s*lf-h*rm/s*icide, parental/child abvse

Soap was born into a big family in the Scottish countryside, being the youngest with 6 older sisters. His father was a deadbeat, and walked out on him at a young age, being effectively raised by his mom and big sisters. Having strong female influences on his life benefited him greatly in the long run, he grew up to be a very well-adjusted, kind, and respectful man (particularly towards women, as he is a staunch feminist (you go Johnny).

However, on the other hand the only true parental figure in his life, his mother, was a horrible person. She was mentally and emotionally abusive, as well as unstable. She would even get physical with her children at times, including Soap. Johnny was also raised Roman Catholic, though today he considers himself agnostic or a flat out atheist. His mother was incredibly homophobic and transphobic and would use religion to justify her bigotry towards him, leading Soap to hating himself and struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation for years. Particularly, by cutting himself (he has s/h scars all over his thighs, arms, and shoulders). Has attempted at least 10+ times in the past. Not to mention, he did a lot of hard drugs during his middle and high school years to cope with his mother's abuse. (Particularly coke and heroin). He's come incredibly close to ODing on a few occasions. An addict and a total mess, until his sisters intervened and forced him against his will into rehab.

After 2 or so years he was clean and eligible for the military.

He still relapses from time to time (whether it's self-harm or drugs), and when he does its bad. He even still regularly smokes weed to this day, though it's not nearly as bad as some other substances. It's a wonder he hasn't been discharged, (because he doesn’t try to hide it too much), but probably because he's too much of an asset.

Ghost is the one to bring him out of his slumps now. Not minding one bit, as all Simon cares about is Johnny's safety and well-being.

Needless to say, he could never see religion in the same light after that. He’s even quite apprehensive and wary of people whom are religious and religion in general.

He and his mother were never close and soon would never get along with each other, as he’s proud and not the type to even tolerate shit from anyone. It was an almost daily occurrence that he and his mom would fight, particularly when he finally reached his pre-teen/teen years, sometimes evolving into full-blown screaming matches.

Being the protective type of person that he is, most of the time he’d get into fights because of his sisters coming to him about how mom had hit them or made them cry (despite the fact he feels nothing but pure hatred for his mum, he has a very deep bond/connection to each and everyone of his sisters and loves them all dearly).

That was what pissed him off more than anything.

His mom could do whatever she wanted with him, frankly he stopped caring and her cutting words no longer held any weight or meaning to him at some point, and being hit was soon the equivalent to getting bit by a mosquito, he became numb. He didn't know when he stopped feeling, but he did. (He of course wasn't entirely immune, she'd eventually break him). But he was determined to stay strong for his siblings.

Bringing harm upon his sisters? No way in hell that was ever gonna fly, and he didn't care if she was his mother or not.

Johnny naturally grew to resent his mother, and to this day he still calls her a “witch” or a "cunt" instead of his mum. Eventually he’d had enough and couldn’t take his mother’s abuse any longer, (she is half of the reason he went into the military as soon as he possibly could, besides it being a lifelong and childhood dream of his).

He kept in touch with his sisters (and still does), of course, calls them everyday or whenever he gets the chance to let them know he’s alive and well and to see how their doing. Visits when he can or when he’s off duty. Though he completely cut ties with his mother after joining the military,—a couple of his sisters would keep him posted on what was going on with her.

Later on, his mother went to go on to be diagnosed with terminal cancer, and passed shortly thereafter.

He attended the funeral up in Scotland, but mainly for his sisters’ sakes. He actually ended up staying in Scotland for a while after that to provide support for his sisters, (emotional or otherwise), and to try to ease the grieving process. Even though she wasn’t the greatest mom or person in general, it was still a tough loss. Though Soap still didn’t regret cutting her out of his life,—it was fucked up but he was glad that she died in a way, and even visited her grave just once after the funeral, by himself, just so he could spit on it. Maybe even say some things he never was able to say to her, half as retribution and half to just get it off his chest.

Ghost is the only one who knows of Johnny's past and his abusive mother, and is incredibly understanding and gentle about it (as naturally it's a particularly touchy subject). On all official stuff regarding his background, the most it ever details is where he was born or that he was raised Roman Catholic. Not to mention, although Soap is a yapper and almost never shuts up, he’s a very private person and just simply doesn’t like others knowing his business (with the exception of Ghost of course).

Even though Johnny didn’t let his mother’s death bother him regarding the funeral and his prolonged visit to Scotland, when he got back he broke down completely.

He stayed strong for his sisters as he felt like he had to and just as he's always done, but the facade came crashing down once he was in Simon's arms again.

He hated his mum, she didn't really deserve his tears, yet she was still his mum. That fact still reigned true even after everything.

And Ghost was there by his side the whole time. Hell, if anyone knows what it's like to lose a family member, it's Simon "Ghost" Riley. Whether they be toxic or not. Simon's heart positively ached for Soap, and they couldn't help but get all misty eyed at Johnny's pure, unbridled grief.

Ghost had never felt so sorry for anyone in his life, and Soap was eternally grateful for Simon's patience, empathy, and it consoling him to the best of their ability. 💖

DADDY ISSUES GHOST AND MOMMY ISSUES SOAP MY BELOVED(S)

[heartlilith]

My Placements and How They Manifest

Capricorn Ascendent:

My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, it was worse than my other 3 other siblings by far. She had to be induced because there was no sign of me wanting to come out into the world (lol). She said she was in labor for hours and when I finally came out, she started hemorrhaging. It wasn't fatal obviously because she's alive today but yeah, I kind of associate that with my Capricorn rising. Still to this day, change is very uncomfortable for me especially if I have no control over what's happening. My childhood was great until my mom divorced my dad and remarried, that's when shit went south! I had new siblings, a stepfather, and had to see my dad heartbroken while also battling melanoma and being laid off (2008 recession). My sister stayed with him and I went with my mom. They were always fighting and spiting each other but it was my sister and I that missed out. It was always "what is your father saying about me?" yada yada yada. Growing up, I was bullied by my sister a lot, in my opinion, it was more than the usual sibling fights. My mom also took a lot of her anger out on me; she ended up getting a divorce not too long after remarrying, became an alcoholic and filed for bankruptcy. Being a Capricorn rising and dealing with the backlash of that, I always have money saved, ALWAYS. I'm like a squirrel hiding nuts I stg. If I'm completely broke I'm an anxious mess. It's also why I strive to be independent and self sufficient. It's why I manifest being filthy rich. High school was terrible tbh and I battled with depression and anxiety. College was a lot better and moving away from my mom and chaotic family did me well, I went from a 2.6 GPA in high school to 3.85 in college. Rereading this it sounds kinda like a sob story and that's not what I'm trying to accomplish so I'm just going to move on.

1st House Neptune, Uranus, Lilith:

I made a separate post either on here or Reddit about how my features have changed so much over the years. As a child, my hair was blonde then it turned blonde/red in late elementary school. Since then, it's turned darker and darker through the years. Now it's dark brown. My eyes were dark blue as a child and now they're light green - I attribute this to Uranus and Neptune being on my Ascendent. In my opinion, I'm not photogenic at all (Cap rising?) and I think I look different in every picture I take or is taken of me. With Lilith being in my first house, I was sexualized a lot growing up by older guys/men. And also bullied by boys my age; I remember they thought I was "too girly". Guys, I shit you not after I had enough of it, I started showing up with boy shorts and those tank tops guys wear HAHAHA to be more of a "tomboy"... I'm not really sure what that is but yeah, I must've been 10 or 12 or something. People would always say "it's because they have a crush on you/because they like you!" and I would be so confused. Nowadays, I think I rub some people, specifically men, the wrong way and they dislike me for "no reason", or maybe they have a reason but they never come out and say it. My Uranus in the 1st shows up as being quirky I guess? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's that my parents were never disciplinary at all, I could do whatever I wanted. At the time I loved it but deep down I think I wanted to them to care, so I would act more and more reckless. Today, maybe that sets me apart. One last thing about Neptune/Uranus in the 1st is that I can't stand to see people treating people/animals/or what have you, the wrong way. I can't even watch Youtube videos of animals starting off abused... even if the videos end with them being happy and healthy, I CAN'T DO IT. It deeply disturbs me.

Side Note (1st House Lilith):

As a small child I was obsessed with being naked all the time and skinny dipping LMFAO like it was a problem. Luckily there were no creeps and I was fine but would this placement indicate that in anyway? Let me know because it doesn't really fit with my Capricorn rising.

(I'm really sorry this post is so long and detailed I think I'm having word vomit)

Virgo Moon:

As a child I was really reserved and "chill". I already talked about my relationship with my mom and she was critical and whatever. One thing that sticks out about this placement is that she would always push the idea on me to "stay pure" and to "stay innocent", especially when I was a teen. Always pushing this on me. Always telling her friends I was "naive" and yeah maybe I was in a sense. I don't know it's weird how that fits. My mom wasn't all bad though. She definitely had many faults but she was a great mom in certain aspects. Growing up, I realized she's just a human like me, with problems of her own. I don’t hold it against her. Today, my Virgo moon makes me sooo anxious and worrisome. I definitely see the negative qualities it brings but the good qualities out weigh them. I love buying people gifts and I'm a great gift giver if I do say so myself. With my Capricorn rising and Virgo moon, I hate PDA and it can be hard for me to be lovey dovey (even with all my Leo), so I show love by buying gifts - kind of like my dad. My parents were never there for me emotionally but they bought me great gifts hahaha, I guess that's why. Also I tend to "mother" my partners; I do their laundry, do the cleaning, make their doctor appointments, and take care of them in a sense - like my mom did for me. Writing this out I can now see why I am the way I am lol.

Moon square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn:

Ooooff. Well I won't dive into it too much. I will say it affects my mental health greatly and I've had a lot of trouble in that department. My Moon square Jupiter really makes my moods go up and down. Like high highs and low lows for sure. I try to look at it positively even though it's hard sometimes. Having the high highs brings out my inner child (Jupiter in the 5th). When I'm happy I'm really happy and giggling and silly. And of course the flip side is low low :( But I like the high highs so I deal. Also with this, I tend to avoid being sad at all costs. All costs. I'm a true escape artist when it comes to emotions. With Pluto and Saturn squaring my Moon, I am infact a MOODY BITCH. LOL, hey at least I can admit it. It brings intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, insecurity, and guilt with it too - all that great stuff. Moving on.

Cancer Mercury:

I like my Cancer Mercury a lot, even though it's paired with my all my Leo placements which can make me a ~smidge~ dramatic. I wasn't the best student in high school but I did take the hardest English courses they offered, which in hindsight saved my GPA lol. In college, I studied English with a concentration in creative writing. I mostly wrote and studied poetry which I loved so much. I'm a great listener and if I could write an advice column I would. I love how my Cancer Mercury makes me empathetic and how I'm able to put myself in anyone's shoes. One negative about this placement is that I get hurt easily (paired with Leo Sun and Virgo Moon esp), but I won't let you know I'm hurt, I'll just get angry and mean. I don't like that about myself and I wish I was more vulnerable in that aspect but it's easier to be angry than sad... right?

Leo Venus and Mars:

After talking about all the above placements, my Leo side is definitely my ray of sunshine in a way. I feel like with my Virgo Moon and the aspects it makes, it kinda settles my Leo ego. That's not to say I don't have an ego, I definitely do... just look at this post it's all about meee :) I have pictures of when I was 3-6 years old and flexing my muscles hahaha and I thought I was so strong I would go around and show everyone that I could pick my mom and older sister up. So weird. Other than that, when I dislike someone I tend to go on rant for awhile about everything I dislike about them. My least favorite thing is when someone makes me feel inferior or small, that will put me on 10 easily. I don't get mad all that much, it takes a lot but when I do get mad, I see red. Maybe cause I have Mars at 0 degrees. I do get over things quickly though, emotionally anyway, but I do hold a grudge. Also yesss, I have Leo hair. It's long and thick and hard to manage. Growing up, my mom would never let me color or cut it and I'm kinda glad now looking back on it.

8th house Moon & Venus:

This is why I hold grudges hahaha. In my opinion, the 8th house can be hard to understand/put into words until you experience it (in synastry, transit, natal, etc), then you just know. With Venus here, every person I'm romantically involved with transforms me but also takes a piece of me as well. In my experience with the 8th house, you can gain a lot of good things but it comes with a price. Whether its a mix of my placements or just these placements specifically, love really hurts! Break ups have put me in dark dark places. When I do love someone, I want to merge with them, like become "one" if that makes sense. So when it comes to an end, I have a huge hole left. In my life, this has manifested as when I ran away from home to a different state and ghosted my family and friends just to get back together with my boyfriend, all on a whim. I'd give it all up for someone I love. With Virgo Moon being in my 8th house, my anxiety mixes with my obsessive behavior which manifests as dermotillamania. I struggle with it so bad. I'm working on it but yeah that's kinda interesting looking from an astrological sense. Moon in the 8th house gives me great intuition though... I'm always right about the vibes. But this comes at the cost of feeling things extremely deeply.

Scorpio MC:

This is another placement that I like about my chart because my Capricorn rising makes me come off as intimidating and my MC makes people see me as powerful and mysterious. I don't know if people actually see me this way but even it being a possibility gives me like Olivia Benson vibes. I love her. Anyway, one thing I will say is I don't have social media anymore and haven't for years (besides Tumblr and Reddit) because I really value my privacy. I don't like people knowing things about me unless I decide to share it with them, even small things. Tumblr and Reddit are okay in my mind because I don't know anyone in real life. But even this post I'm already thinking of deleting and I haven't even posted it yet lol. When I did have social media, I would overshare and then delete the post an hour later. I was always deleting pictures and revamping my aesthetic. I became obsessed with likes and comments and scrolling that it was too much and I didn't like the power it had over me. Something else that I think manifests from my MC is that I love psychology, astrology, and things that tie into personalities.

5th house Jupiter & Saturn:

It always confused me on how to interpret having Saturn, the planet of limitations and responsibility, and Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, in the same house. I thought that they canceled each other out in a way, or level each other out... is a better way of putting it.  I actually messaged @astrosky33 and asked how they interpret it. Her (?) answer was interesting and made a lot of sense. Jupiter and Saturn in the same house gives off both energies at the same time (why didn't I think of that? lol). So for the 5th house, in terms of my hypothetical kids, I would be a parent that has fun and is silly but also strict in some ways and responsible. One way Saturn in my 5th house manifests is that I don't want to do anything creative unless I feel it's productive in some way, which I don't like about myself. Meaning, I don't want to read a book if the genre is fantasy, I would rather read non-fiction or a self help book; something that I can learn from. Also, I really like hobbies where I can produce something, like making candles or making spell jars. If I can make money from a hobby that I love then even better. Jupiter in the 5th house manifests as being child-like and also loving kids. If things are going well and I'm happy, then I can be excited and goofy like a child. If things aren't going well, then I can throw a tantrum like a child. I love kids because my early childhood was the best time of my life before life hit me upside the head (lol). This past Halloween, I made goodie bags for the trick or treaters and got so excited when the doorbell rang. I don't know, I just want to protect kids and shield them from the bad in the world. Kids, out of everyone, deserve to be happy.

Sun sextile Jupiter:

Things tend to work out for me, well, as of lately anyway. I struggled a lot growing up and I was always wishing my life were different. I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we live very comfortably. I have a great job and I am so much happier than I was before. Of course, life isn't always perfect and there are problems at every turn. I wish I could go back in time and tell 15 year old me that everything is going to be okay, more than okay actually. I have a dog and two kittens who I love very much and I'm very fortunate to have the life that I do. I try to stay positive because there's no point in being negative and sulking all the time. Plus, you never know what can happen so be thankful for what you have, even if in your eyes, it isn't enough. I believe in being nice to people, you never know how far one act of kindness can go. Lord knows I needed it during some pretty tough times in my life.

Venus square Saturn (TW: Eating disorder, drug use, phobias):

Going back to having fear of abandonment and being uncomfortable with PDA... well here is the culprit. Or some of the culprit. Since Venus is in my 8th house, I feel like this aspect plays into my fear of my family dying, more specifically, my parents. Whenever I visit home and I see they look a little older, move a little slower, I get really sad. Their birthdays are supposed to be for celebrating but I can't help but get sad. It takes over me and I obsess about what I'm going to do when the day comes and they're not here anymore. I put on a brave face though and I buy them nice gifts and send flowers on holidays... but it's always in the back of my mind. This aspect also manifests as having low self esteem and growing up this was very prevalent. I didn't care about myself at all; I did drugs, I put myself into bad situations that I get anxiety just thinking about what could've happened. I had an eating disorder, dated boys that were awful. I'm fortunate that I made it out okay. I still have insecurities today but during that time in my life it was so intense because even as a teen without this aspect, you deal with insecurities. It was like double trouble.  

If you read this far, thank you. I hope it was semi-interesting and Im really curious to know what you guys think. Should I make a part 2? I’m feeling a little “out there” by posting this so I hope it's not too much. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

(let me know what you think!)

[dsireland86]

Beneath The Surface

When being too handsy at the dinner table gets a little intense, awkward things can happen.

Nick Folio x Reader

Tags: @foliosgirl @xxkittenkissesxx @lma1986 @thefallennightmare

                            This dinner with your family is going nowhere. It's not at all what you had in mind when your mom called you last week. Your oldest brother is getting married in a few days, and to celebrate, your parents are hosting a family dinner; complete with aunts and uncles you hadn't seen since you were probably five or six.

Your mother insisted it was time for you to introduce your boyfriend of a few months to everyone. At first, you declined, explaining to your mom that he's just returned from traveling for work and he's pretty exhausted, but your mother is persistent and wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

So, with some hesitation, you called Nick, explaining to him the situation, and that you completely understand if he doesn't want to. You're expecting him to say no. Why wouldn't he? No guy, ever, is excited to meet their girlfriend's family.

"It's about time I get to meet your family," was his answer.

Okay, except maybe Nick.

You rolled your eyes, at the positive asshat that he always is.

"I haven't told them," you confess, regretfully.

"Haven't told them what?"

"What you do for a living."

There’s a pause, and you're afraid you might have upset him.

"Oh, you mean the hired hit man thing?"

What the hell? Can't he take anything seriously.

"Really, Nick?"

You sighed in relief that he wasn't actually upset, but if he could see your face, he'd tell you to quit rolling your eyes because you look like a spoiled brat. The thought made you grin.

"I'm serious. I haven't told them much about you, actually."

"Why not?"

You caught the slight distress in his voice.

"Are you ashamed of me or something?"

"What? No! No, it's not like that. It's just that, well, my family isn't always the most warm and accepting type, that's all. My love life and who I chose to date aren't any of their business."

There was more silence. You hate silence.

"Nick?"

"It's because I have tattoos,  isn't it?"

The lightheartedness of Folio's joke made you grin.

"I happen to like all your tattoos, thank you very much."

"Oh, I know you do, sweetheart. I have the bruises from last night proving it."

Nick's comment had you blushing and your heart racing.

"I know you're blushing, too. You're thinking about it, aren't you?"

"Shut-up."

"No, come on, admit it, baby; you loved every second of last night."

"Well," you stuttered, trying to think of something smart to say, but instead settled for the truth.

"Getting fucked in the bathroom at the venue after my boyfrind's show wasn't the ideal place I had in mind."

"Maybe, but you sounded so pretty, and you felt like fucking heaven. You always do, no matter where we are."

"Yeah? Is that so?"

"Yes, ma'am, it is."

Nick hummed, following it with a light chuckle.

"Alright, so can you help me, or not?"

"Hmmm, I'll have to check my schedule. I'm not sure,"

"NICK!"

"Okay! Okay! Yes, I'll come. Fine. Happy?

"Very."

So, here you sit with Folio on your left side and your soon to be sister-in-law on your right.

"So, Nick, tell us what it is you actually do for a living," your mother says. She's at least playing nice and being somewhat respectful. Maybe it's because one of her kids is finally doing something with their life that she agrees with.

"Er, sure."

He looks over you and smiles, giving your thigh a reassuring squeeze beneath the table

"I'm a drummer in a band."

Your mother's eyes grow wide.

"Really?"

"Yes, ma’am," Folio nods proudly.

"Like, in a real band?

"Mom! Seriously?"

You hide your face in your hands, completely embarrassed.

Folio’s laugh helps you relax, and so does the second squeeze on your thigh, only this time his hand goes a little further up until it's resting right against your thin laced panties, giving his fingers easy access to your wet, hot sex. It immediately takes away the embarrassment.

"Yes, ma'am, a real band. In fact, we just got back a few days ago from our three week tour in the States. Played our last show about an hour from here last night."

Folio wiggles his fingers against the inside of your thigh, brushing your throbbing core lightly. It's enough to make you grind your teeth and clench your muscles.

"Oh well, have I heard of your band before?" your mother asks.

You slide your hand over Nick's thigh and grip his knee tightly. His fingers fidget with your panties, and you know what he wants; for you to open your legs just a little and allow him access, which you willingly give him. But you're not about to let him have all the fun.

"Not unless you listen to metalcore," Nick answers respectfully, but you catch the sarcasm in his voice, huffing a slight laugh at your mom's turned up face in disgust.

"Metal, what?"

"Metalcore. It's a certain, eh, um," Folio stammers, caught off guard by the unexpected feeling of your hand caressing the inner part of his thigh, right up against his swollen cock. It's sensitive and full of pressure that's growing hotter the more you rub his thigh. Suddenly, he can't think straight enough to form a proper thought.

"Have you forgotten what kind of music you play, Nick?"

"I'm sorry, what did, oh yeah... metalcore," Folio says weakly, clearing his throat.

"It's, er, it's..."

"It's harder than normal rock, with singing and aggressive screaming, Mom. It's nothing you'd like." 

Your mom stares at you blankly,  unknowing you have your hand deep inside the jeans of the man beside you, massaging his balls. They're soft and the perfect size to fit in your hand, matching the perfect erection already thick and hard, right above them. Feeling the tightness of Folio’s thigh muscles and how they, then relaxing, then flexing again, has you feeling a massive power trip at the moment. You have this sweet, beautiful man at your mercy, driving him absolutely out of his fucking mind, and you're loving every second of it.

"Ughh, no thank you," your mom grimaces and shakes her head.

"That's not my preferred taste. But I can tell how happy you make my daughter just by the way you look at her, so I'll cut you some slack there. But you better be good to her, or I'm sending her big brother after you."

She points her sharp red nailed finger at Folio, and he grins wide like a Cheshire cat. It's contagious.

You move in closer to him, pulling your chair over and wrap your free hand through his arm to hold on to him. Folio lays his left hand over your right as you continue working his cock beneath the table. Your pace is slow and tight, and you know exactly how he feels about tightness and how it always makes him cum really hard; especially when you’re riding him. It drives him crazy every single time.

Thankfully, the conversation about Folio has dropped, and everyone moves on. Some get up from the table and leave, including your parents, brother, and his fiance, while others immerse themselves in deep conversation.

"Holy shit, baby, what are you doing,” Nick softly cries, turning his face down and whispering in your ear.

“Shhhh, trust me. Just relax. I’ll be quick.”

You bite your bottom lip after hearing a deep groan leave him, planting your face in the side of his neck, leaving small kisses on his partially damp skin.

He's breathing hard, in and out through his nose and gritting his teeth, doing his best to keep his composure while you fuck him nice and slow with your hand.

Folio grabs your wrist, and you look up at him, but his eyes remain close while lines of frustration crease his forehead.

“Do you want me to stop?” you whisper against his ear. He shakes his head quickly.

Wiggling your wrist out of his grip, he doesn’t stop you as you continue doing what you're doing in order to achieve your goal. His knee suddenly slams into the table and hits the table top from beneath, making you snicker when a whispered curse leaves his mouth.

“Are you sure you don't want me to stop?” you ask again, trying to hide your amusement as some of the others around the table look your way. You indicate everything's all good, and they go back to their conversations.

“Fuck no, don’t you dare, sto… mmmm fuck…” he mutters, dropping his head. His quiet sounds are turning you on so much, making you so wet between your legs that all you can think about is getting him back to your house as soon as possible.

Nick begins to pant harder, trying his best to keep quiet. You work him faster, keeping your eyes locked on him like he's your prey. You want to watch this man fall apart for you in your hands.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he shrieks, gabbing your wrist. “Y/N, you're gonna make me cum in my pants like a fucking teenager!”

“Then cum for me, baby. Show me how good I make you feel," echoing his words from last night.

You’re being cruel, teasing him so ruthlessly in a public place, but you don’t care. This is payback for last night.

“Fuck, Y/N, oh god, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Nick’s knee slams into the table again as he spills his cum all over your hand. The rush it gives you could almost make you climax, but thankfully you’re able to keep it together. You don’t bother to look around, only at the man in front of you. He's out of breath and his legs are trembling.

You retrieve your hand from inside his jeans, feeling a pang of guilt for the mess you've made. Just as you kiss the side of his face, Folio turns and catches you in a heated kiss, locking both hands around your face desperately.

“I fucking love you," he gushes with a lopsided grin.

"I know you do. Even without all that," you tease, glancing down at his crotch.

Folio just stares at you for a minute, making you wonder what he's thinking.

"You're right, I do, I really fucking do."

He leans in and kisses you again.

"But you just wait until I get you back to your house. I won’t be nice to you. You’re going to pay dearly for what you've just put me through.”

The hint of playfulness is plain in Folio's voice, but the deep intensity you see lurking behind his soft brown eyes makes your skin heat up and the fire burning for him in your veins even hotter.

"Oh, yeah, well you’ll have to catch me first. And considering what you’ve got going on under there, I’m not sure if that’s possible. You look a little, er, messy at the moment."

The sarcastic smirk that spreads over your face is impossible to hide. You keep direct eye contact with Nick, challenging him in such a tormenting way that it's agonizing. But it's quickly replaced with amusement, and it lightens your heart.

“You’re a monster, Y/N. Un-fucking-believable. I don't deserve this kind of treatment. "

You laugh and wiggle just as he pokes your side, tickling you briefly while shaking his head.

"Come on, let's go home. We can shower, and I'll even be nice and clean up my mess."

Folio runs his hand to the back of your neck and he pulls you in, kissing you deeply.

"You're beautiful, baby."

His smile is sweet, but serious.

You swallow the lump in your throat to keep your blush from setting your cheeks on fire.

"Yeah, well, you're perfect, so I guess that makes us even."

He lightly laughs.

"Yeah, I guess so."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for "yelling" at my teenage sister for putting earrings through the ears of my childhood stuffed animal?

🤬🐘 <- cause that was me holding them when I found out lmao

So I (22 two spirit, I was 20 when this happened) have had Ellie (Ive used He/she/they for Ellie my whole life, they never had a set gender), a stuffed realtively realistic elephant, since I was at least 3 years old. He was a plush of big Al, the elephant mascot for crimson Tide of the university of Alabama. (Roll tide?) that my dad owned but eventually it was cuddled by 3 yr old me and dragged to my room and out of his man cave (which I don't know why he had a big al plush, we're from Ohio) never to return. I think she had a jersey or hat or something at some point but she doesn't now. Considering just how cuddled Ellie was, it's a miracle how good her condition is. No rips, tears, bald patches or holes beyond the plasticy coating on one of his tusks ripping off in a few places. I wasn't super violent with my toys and never drew on them or ripped them up. The most I did was put hair ties around her ears so they'd look like pigtails.

I've had Ellie a very very long time obviously and he means a lot to me. I very rarely cuddle him now because I want him to stay in that good condition. Well, when I was 19, I moved to Maryland to be with my partner and Ellie went with me obviously. 3 or 4 times a year, me and my partner make the trip to Ohio to visit my family, about 8 hrs away. I bring Ellie because she comforts me when we're there (Alot of traumatic memories are wrapped up in childhood home). Well, one time Ellie got left behind and I was devastated. It was gonna be at least 3 months till I went back and even though my mom offered to send ellie through the mail, i was not willing to take the chance that ellie could get lost forever in said mail so i waited.

Here's the part where I mention I have a younger sister who was 14 at the time. we have a good, if not distant relationship that is a much better place now. Here's where the problem occurred. I returned home after about 3 months after accidentally leaving ellie and immediately wanted to find him once I arrived. My mom told me my sister had been watching them while I was away so I went to her room. My sister then excitedly held up Ellie to me... Ellie's big ears were absolutely littered with my sister's (real) earrings. There had to of been at least 150 piercings in her ears, if not 200. I held myself together as best I could and very sternly told her I was pissed she'd do that, she knew how much Ellie meant to me and she should never treat other people's things that way.

I make a very strong point to never insult, scream or yell or not explain why I'm angry at someone. If I get so angry I can't handle my composure, I leave and gather myself then come back. I never insulted my sister or raised my voice but I definitely hammered how disrespectful and destructive this was to something that wasn't hers as I took out her earrings one by one. My childhood stuffie did not deserve to be turned into Swiss cheese and used as an earring display. If I had done anything like that to her stuffed giraffe, her stuffie, she'd have a cow. Once they were all out I took Ellie and went to my room. Luckily, they were normal sized earrings so the holes were very small and I can't see them if I don't look for them but it felt so disrespectful.

My sister apologized pretty quickly but my mom said I didn't have to yell at her (I never raised my voice but I was clearly hiding an angry one trying to explain to her) nor should I have said it 5 times in the moment (shes exaggerating). I'll admit I repeat myself twice or thrice in the moment as a way to keep myself from raising my voice or stewing in it if I feel like i haven't properly expressed my anger or I feel like the person wasn't listening. Everything is cool now and we dont really talk about it (it's not taboo or too painful to touch, it just doesn't come up) but I wonder if I over reacted considering the holes are tiny, not super visible and I don't think my sister did it to spite me or hurt Ellie, she was just young and dumb and didn't think about how it could mess up Ellie. Should I have held my tounge since shes my sister? She was only 14 but I feel like you should know earrings can cause damage to fabric when you're 14, there's no way she didn't know that wouldn't leave tiny holes in Ellie. I just think she didn't think of them as a big deal.

What are these acronyms?

[britneyshakespeare]

The thing about a fainting spell is that there are a lot of symptoms I’ve had over the years of various illnesses but there’s just nothing like all the sudden wiping out and being in a limbo of involuntary and unexpected unconsciousness for like. Who knows? There are a lot of things I’ve gone through in my life that I “had no control of” or had no feasible means to make better for myself, at least not by myself, but fainting. Wow. It’s like being in a vice of the living world and the dead. And after it happens, after you crawl pathetically back to bed or your life or whatever you were doing (certainly the time of day it takes place matters a lot)... for the next however many hours you’re just sitting there like “well that happened. Sucked a lot.”

Funny. I was thinking just yesterday about how it had been awhile (almost a year) since I had a good old fashioned fainting spell. And the last time I had one I didn't even think I was dying like a lot of other times I've had them in the past. Well then last night (tonight? Today?) between 2 and 3 in the morning I went to the bathroom, washed my hands, was thinking "man this feels like so much effort I'm so tired" when I turned around to dry them, and then I realized I was on the floor somehow in the fight of my life with the perception of consciousness again.

[syndrossi]

the daenerys replies got me thinking of a resonant AU where dany also gets blasted into the past (maybe she goes to summerhall to look for jon after he goes missing?) but instead of being jon and rhaeger's sister, she reawakens as saera targaryen's 8yo daughter (perhaps with a volantene noble?). now this will probably have big effects to the volantis shenanigans, the evil ppl who are ecstatic that a prophecy baby and possible TPWP being born so close to home and saera is wary of all these wizard ppl who are suddenly so interested in her baby girl but oh look they just gifted dany three dragon eggs, wait hold on her daughter just hatched three dragons?? how is that even possible... and dany being dany is like well idk what's going on but it's time to fix volantis' sociopolitical structure with my cool new mom

i think dany would eventually get suspicious of the wizard people and decide to escape volantis and go back to westeros, especially if her dragon's grow as fast as they did in canon, then within a year or two they would be large enough to carry her and saera across the narrow sea. meanwhile in westeros, daemon and viserys worst fears are realized when they start getting reports about a valyrian girl in volantis with the control of three dragons. and she's headed straight for them?? but hold on is that aunt saera with her??

just them reacting to this little girl with three enormous dragons and daemon's immediately suspicious as to why dany looks more like she could be rhaegar's twin than jon, and hold on jon and dany seem to know each other?? what is going on... and poor viserys is in panic mode bc aunt saera has a prophecy baby??? with three balerions???? I need to get this girl betrothed immediately!!!!! and jon and dany are happy (if confused) to reunite and once dany realizes that rhaegar's here too she def gets emotional bc that's the brother she looked up to all her life and named a son and dragon after ;-;

Saera would have been so smug about bringing dragons to Volantis through one of her children! (She'd be an older mama, though--in her early forties at the time of birth if Dany is meant to be the same age as Jon and Rhaegar, and close to fifty by the time Daemon finds them.) Given that she had a bastard son with one of the Triarchs in the early 90s AC, it's not far-fetched to imagine Dany's father is the same man.

The nature of the sorcery that brought them here is such that Dany would be in some pretty big trouble that close to Volantis, though, so probably best that this wasn't the case! Otherwise, Saera would have needed to get her daughter out of there quickly/early, and I don't think her ambition would have allowed her to.

But in the event that Saera decided to forgo her "kingdom" in Volantis, Dany's own hatchling would have been too small to carry them away, so my guess is they would have done their best to hide the hatchling and secure passage via ship.

Which still serves as quite the surprise to those in King's Landing! Aunt Saera alive and back in Westeros after all those decades? Only Rhaenys and Viserys were even old enough to really remember her! Rhaenys would have been around 10 when she fled to Essos.

And Viserys's WTF WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE HAVING PROPHECY BABIES reaction? And the immediate dilemma of what's he's supposed to do. Do you wed two prophecy children together? Dilute the prophecy by marrying them back into the main line? HELP.

(Awwww, Dany reuniting with Jon and finally getting to meet Rhaegar. And he does look just like her, just as everyone had told her. And her immediately agreeing with Jon that he must be protected from all things Baratheon and Trident. And Rhaegar being like omg this is the Dany? The one who brought the dragons back? And Dany immediately spilling the beans about Rhaegar being Jon's dad because she doesn't know that Jon's been trying to keep that from him.)

[awriterinthenight]

'It's ok love' Part 1-Anthony Lockwood

requested: anonymous

words: 1850

warnings: mentions of family being a bit horrible, uhhhhhh I might have put Lockwood instead of Anthony once or twice cause I totally re read this after writing this (I did not), also sorry I haven't posted in awhile, school is kicking my ass and I just went through some shit, oh also language maybe? idk. Sorry this is in multiple parts, it was just easier to write this way. This is kinda just the set up so its not the most intriguing, but just wait till part two and three, I suggest you bring tissues

summary: You get invited to your sister's engagement party and Anthony has a case near there, so you offer him to stay there when his hotel has to cancel his reservation. So what could possibly happen when your not so nice family invites you and you spend a night getting picked on, but luckily Anthony is there to comfort you. Then he tells your family you and him are dating, so what could possibly go wrong?

"That's wonderful, I can't wait to see you guys there. Alright, bye bye." As I hang up the phone Anthony walks down the stairs carrying one of his bags for a case.

"Who was that," he asks, placing the bag down.

"It was just my mom," I tell him, "She was telling how my sister just got engaged and they're having a whole engagement party for her. It's quite exciting really," I say, trying to hide my nerves. My family was...something to say the least. They were rather wealthy, but not the best of people. Which is what led me to leave when I was 15 and start working at Lockwood and Co.

He looks at me a bit shocked, "Really, well are you gonna go," he asks, shocked since he knew me and my family weren't on the best of terms, but he never really knew the full truth.

I shrug, "Yeah, probably," I tell him, but quickly switch the subject, "So, are you prepared for your case," I ask, since it was a solo case. Lucy was busy with Norrie the day of the case, George promised Flo they'd go bird watching, and I wasn't in much of a good condition to go on a case.

In our last case while fighting off a type two, I managed to twist my ankle on a rug when I slid out of its way when it almost ghost touched me. Since then Lockwood had put me on house arrest basically, so I haven't been on a case in about a week. I tried to convince him to let me go on this one, but he insisted I wait a bit longer, at least until we knew I would be fine. I guess it didn't matter anymore since I was going to my sister's engagement party.

Anthony looked down at the bag he dropped, letting out a sigh, "I think so, I've got extra flares just in case and George wouldn't let me leave without having at least half of our stalk in my bag," he says, chuckling a bit at his own comment.

I can't help but laugh too, "I guess you'll be well prepared then," I say, our conversation turning stale as George calls us for dinner.

***

I was heading downstairs to the library when I heard someone on the phone.

"Uh huh, no I completely understand. Alright, goodnight," the person says, hanging up the phone with a sigh.

I descended the stairs, seeing it was Anthony who was on the phone, "Who was that?" I ask, suspicious of who would call this late.

He sighs again, running a hand down his face, "The manager of the hotel I was staying at for my case. He had to cancel my reservation since they're overbooked. He offered compensation, but now I have to find a new hotel somewhere else. But, anything this late in advance is gonna be expensive," he tells me.

I nod, "I'm sorry, that sounds horrible," I say, trying to sympathize. We stand there a moment before a thought appears to me, "Hey, your case isn't too far from my family's house right?" I ask, smiling a bit.

"I guess so, but what does that have to do with anything," he questions, confused.

I giggle at his confusion, "I think you need to get some sleep, your brain seems to not be thinking properly," I joke, moving a stray strand of hair out of his face, making his cheeks turn a slight pink tint, "What I mean is, if your case isn't far away from my families place, why don't you stay there instead of paying for a hotel," I suggest.

Anthony shakes his head saying, "No, I wouldn't want to intrude on you and your family. Plus, there probably wouldn't be space for me."

"My family wouldn't mind, I promise. And, there will be space for you, trust me. They might not even notice you're there," I reassure him, but he still shakes his head. I let out a say, "Anthony it'll be fine. I promise, let me offer you this one thing. You let me stay in your house, so let me just offer you a night or two at mine," I try to reason with him.

He lets out a calm sigh, "I could never truly say no to you, can I, especially when you say my name," he says, looking at me with nothing but adoration. No one else called him Anthony, only I did. He never really corrected me when I would slip up, unlike he would do with Lucy and George. If one of them said it he would immediately joke at how they were using his government name, but when I say it, to him it was like the sweetest love song. It got to the point where I only called him Lockwood if I was mad at him over something, and he hated it when I called him Lockwood, so I only call him Anthony from now on. So sometimes I would take advantage of it, like just now.

"I'll stay at your place, but just this one time, okay," he says, unable to take his eyes off of me.

I smirk at him, happy that I successfully got him to agree, "Good, we're leaving in the morning since its quite the train ride, so I'll see you in the morning, night Anthony," I say, turning around to walk back up the stairs, when I feel a hand catch my arm.

His hand is around my arm and he uses it to spin me around, "Wait, one last thing. Just cause I let you live here doesn't mean you owe me anything you know that," he assures me.

I smile at him softly, "Of course I know that, but how else was I supposed to get you to agree," I tell him.

He smirks, his hand sliding down to my waist, "You're very cheeky, you know that," he tells me, unable to hide his vibrant smile.

The laugh that leaves my lips is small, but just enough to make his face turn a bit pink from how close I am to him, "Oh, you wouldn't have me any other way," I retort, tilting my head and smirking at him.

He breathes out a sigh, "No, no I would not," he tells me. We stay like that for a moment. Too scared to move, since it feels like if we do the fragile feeling of happiness and admiration might break apart.

Anthony speaks first saying, "You should get to bed, I'll see you in the morning love," he says, adding the pet name at the end out of impulse.

I can't help but feel the blush take over my face. "You too, night Anthony," I say, walking back up the stairs, feeling the loss of warmth from his hands on my waist. He stands there watching me go up the stairs, drinking up every last bit of my presence like it's the only way he'll stay alive, before he heads back to his own room for the night.

***

My alarm clock went off at 6am, waking me up as I smelt fresh coffee being brewed. I had to catch my train at 8am with Lockwood, so I had about an hour to get ready, since the cab ride was only a few minutes from the station.

I brush my teeth and hair, doing my usual hairstyle and makeup. I threw on rather comfy clothes, a sweater since the trains were always cold, and my favorite jeans.

Heading downstairs I find George brewing fresh coffee, and cooking eggs for breakfast. "Morning George," I greet, taking a seat at the table.

"Morning," is all he says, grumbling a bit since he's not a morning person. He continues to cook as Lucy and Anthony make their way downstairs.

When George finishes breakfast we all dig in immediately. Lucy tells us about her plans with Norrie and George talks about where he and Flo are spending the day. I listen to them talk as I eat, too tired to speak this early in the morning. Anthony eventually chimes in explaining the change in plans, and how he's now staying at my place. Both of them just nod, a bit shocked since I don't talk much about my family.

After breakfast we all split ways, Lucy leaving to go meet up with Norrie, George going back to the library to collect the rest of the research for Anthony, while I finish packing. I make sure I have everything and that Anthony does too, since I don't want to have to turn around mid cab ride if either of us forgot something.

At around 7 me and Anthony grab our stuff to head out as the cab arrives just on time. I say bye to George, telling him not to burn the house down while we're gone. He just laughs sarcastically and pushes me out the door, out of annoyance.

Our cab ride was rather silent. The only conversation being the couple of times I had to reassure Lockwood that he was fine for staying at my family's place, and that he didn't need to pay the expensive price of a hotel. Our cab ride was only about 20 minutes or so, leaving us plenty of time to board our train.

When we got on we got a decent seat, and I convinced Anthony to let me have the window seat, which wasn't particularly difficult since I wasn't a big fan of train rides and he knew that. Train rides made me nauseous for some reason and it was rather annoying, but Anthony understood and made sure I was fine the entire ride.

"You okay?" he asked every few minutes to make sure I was fine.

I nodded my head, "I'm fine," I reassured him. It wasn't just the train ride making me feel a bit sick, but also the nerves from seeing my family. I only visited once for Christmas since I left, which wasn't the best trip, so since then I just lied saying everyone else didn't have anyone else to spend Christmas with and I felt bad. Or, that I was too busy with work to make time to visit.

Eventually Anthony caught on, asking, "Are you sure you're okay, is it the train or something else?"

I shrug, "The train obviously is making me sick, but I guess just the nerves from seeing my family too. I just haven't seen them in awhile, so I guess I'm just a bit nervous," I tell him.

"Well I'm sure they'll be happy to see you. I know I'm always happy when I see you, so you'll be just fine," he says, making me blush a bit. He then wraps his arm around me, helping me to relax a bit.

Slowly I fall asleep with his arm around me thinking, 'maybe this trip won't be so bad'.

If only I knew the truth, but at least I would have Anthony

[scarletsaphire]

For his entire nine years of life, Danny has had incredible dreams. Featured in every one is a patch of stars, staying just in the corner of his vision, just out of reach. It is only after his first nightmare that the stars appear as what they truly are; a ghost, here to make a deal.

--

This is my Big Boy fic I've been planning for over a year. I hope you guys enjoy.

Danny had always dreamed of stars. It wasn't necessarily that he always dreamed of the stars, but they were always there. Sometimes he'd dream that he was a pirate, fighting glowing green sea creatures that came up from the bottom of the ocean, tentacles grappling on the sides of his pirate ship. Sometimes he would dream of a world made entirely of smudges of color, and he had to save it from the evil people who wanted to erase it all. Sometimes he would dream of exploring other planets, of the taste of space dust on his tongue and a ground that made him bounce like a trampoline. Danny dreamed a lot of things, but no matter what he dreamed about, the stars were always there, just out of reach. They were different then the ones that appeared in the sky; they seemed to flow and ripple like water, and they always seemed to move to the corner of his vision no matter how hard he tried to see them.

For a while, Danny tried to catch the stars. Every time he got close, he'd wake up. But his parents had taught him that Fentons don't give up, and Danny wouldn't be the one to break that streak. So he swore to himself, after what felt like the millionth time waking up in the dead of night, that he'd get to hold those stars someday, even if he needed to go to space to get them. He spent every night that summer trying to catch them, every night waking up disappointed and going through the next day so tired his mom brought him to the doctor's for a check up.

Danny didn't try and catch the stars the night before third grade. In between teaching Danny the correct way to weld, his dad had talked all about how he'd need all his energy to learn the new things that tomorrow would bring. His mom had stolen Danny away to show him the new and improved Fenton Folders she'd finished for him, designed to be able to hold not only the papers for his class, but any textbooks or other supplies he might need as well. They were bulky, and the combination of metal and mesh wasn't the prettiest, but Danny loved them; he'd helped her make them, after all. Jazz had told him while helping him pack that he needed to prepare himself. 

"Third grade is where the real school starts," she said while trying to fit his pack of #2 pencils in the backpack without disrupting the spots she'd already put his other supplies. "I can help you prepare physically, because I'm the best big sister ever, but you've gotta make sure you're prepared mentally. It's a lot of responsibility."

"I don't know what that means," Danny admitted.

Jazz grinned at him, showing off the gap in her teeth. "Yeah, well you're gonna. That's something third grade will teach you."

Danny did not pout. He was nine now, which was basically double digits. He was above pouting. "Why don't you just tell me now?"

Jazz zipped up the backpack and left it on the hook next to the front door. "I can't do that, it's against the laws of third grade. Everyone has to go through a ritual at the start, to make sure they're fit to be a third grader."

Danny narrowed his eyes. "You're lying."

"Would I ever lie to you?"

"Yes."

Jazz stuck her tongue out at him, and Danny did it right back. "I'm surprised Mom and Dad didn't tell you about the third grade ritual. What else do you think they've been having us do those martial arts classes for?"

"Ghost fighting?" Danny said slowly.

"And who says the challenge isn't a ghost?" Jazz was smiling at him in the same way she had when she said she didn't hide his cookies on the top shelf.

"You're definitely lying."

Jazz shrugged and turned around towards the stairs. "Believe what you want. I just know that if I was you, I would listen to your big sister who’s already beaten the ghosts. You don't want to fight them by yourself, do you?" With that she went upstairs, leaving Danny by himself. Jazz was lying to him. She had to be. But...

Danny grabbed one of the half finished inventions laying on the end table in the living room and slipped it into the side pocket of his backpack. It was better safe than sorry.

That morning Danny woke well-rested, having slept better than he had all summer. He’d had a dream about constructing fish bowls out of clouds, wringing the water from them like you would a towel. It had been a good dream, even if the stars still hung in the corner of his vision, taunting him. It would have been a pleasant way to wake up, if the first thing he was aware of wasn't the bellowing of his name from the doorway.

"Danno!" Jack repeated at a volume that only made his ears ring a little bit. "Hurry up kiddo, you're gonna be late!"

Danny blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he tried to interpret the numbers on his clock. 7:10. "Dad, you were supposed to wake me up at 6:20!" Danny yelled, jumping out of his bed, blankets falling in a twisted knot to the floor. "The bus is going to be here in 10 minutes!"

"Sorry, son," Jack said. "You don't have to worry about the bus, your old man can drive you."

"No, I'm sure I can catch the bus."

---

Danny walked out of the GAV at precisely 7:24, with only his nine years of experience keeping him from vomiting. He'd missed the bus by thirty seconds at most. 

"You've got this, kiddo! Face those challenges head on!" Jack called from the open window. "Love you, good luck!"

Danny waved back, and Jack drove away. His mention of challenges reminded him of Jazz's words yesterday. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to take the unfinished device with him to school; his mom had ended up grabbing it to work on, and with how late he'd woken up, he didn't have a chance to grab a new one. That was okay. Jazz was just kidding. Probably. He tightened his grip on his backpack straps and made his way into the school yard.

Danny's plan was to find Tucker. His parents hadn't let him hang out the past week. They'd said something about summer reading stuff that Tucker still hadn't done, and that he was grounded until he got it finished or school started back up. It was completely unfair, and it meant that the couple minutes before they had to go inside were crucial for catching up about all the exciting things that they had done since the last time they'd hung out. Unfortunately, the first person Danny found was not Tucker. It was Dash.

"Are your parents still adding weapons to that hunk of junk you call a car?" he called out from his spot on the stairs. Dash was mean and a bully, and he had been since kindergarten, but he wasn't persistent. Danny had learned early on that the best thing to do was ignore him and walk away, ideally into the sight of a teacher. Danny tried to do this now, but Dash got up and started to follow him. "What are you running away from? Gonna go hunt down some ghosts to talk to? It’s not like any of us want to."

Danny's grip tightened around the straps of his backpack. "Leave me alone Dash."

"What are you gonna do if I don't?" Dash spat. Danny's next step was halted by Dash's grip on his backpack, forcing him to stumble backwards to keep from falling. "Are you gonna tell your weirdo parents? You'd probably have to lie to get them to care." 

Danny spun to face Dash, the force of his twist breaking the taller boy’s grasp. Despite their height difference, Danny didn't back down.

"Stop it," he spat.

Dash sneered. "Oh, I'm so scared." He leaned down until Danny could smell his breath, warm and gross on his face. "Your whole family is a joke, and everyone knows it. You're no different."

There were a number of things that happened in those few seconds. The first was that Danny realized that, whether intentional or not, Jazz had been right about needing to fight a monster. He wouldn't tell her that, of course. She was already insufferable. 

The second was that Danny's hand had let go of his backpack, clenched into a fist, and flew at Dash's jaw with all the speed and might Danny's nine year old body could muster. 

The third thing, which was by far the worst, was the door to the school yard flying open only a few feet from where Dash and Danny stood. This meant that the teacher got front row seats to Dash's tooth flying out of his mouth.

"Daniel James Fenton!" she called, but her voice sounded distant under the rush of Danny's blood in his ears and Dash's blubbering. He only fully processed that his name had been said when he felt her grab his arm. "Just what do you think you are doing?"

Danny flushed red from embarrassment as he realized that the teacher's yelling had attracted the attention of the whole school yard. "He started it," he mumbled under his breath.

"I don't care who started it, young man, that's no excuse for violence!" she snapped. "I'm going to need to call your parents, do you understand that? In all my years of teaching, I've never had to call anyone about something like this so early in the school year." She moved towards the building, Danny dragging along behind her. 

She stopped briefly near the door to point at a student Danny didn't recognize; a 5th grader, by the looks of it. "Would you be a dear and escort Dash to the nurse’s office?" The student nodded.

The teacher led Danny through the halls of the school to the main office. "You are going to sit right here," she said to Danny, leading him to one of the waiting chairs, "-and you aren't going to move a single muscle, do you understand? I'm going to talk to the principal, and then she is going to talk to you." Danny nodded, and the woman disappeared behind the adjacent door.

Danny would not cry. He wanted to, and his eyes burnt with hot, angry tears, but he did not cry. He was nine. That was almost double digits, and someone who is double digits doesn't cry. Danny focused on one spot on the worn, dirty, carpeted floors, trying to get the heat of his anger to burn a hole through it.

It didn't work. Danny cried quietly.

When the teacher walked back into the room, he wiped away his tears as quickly and discreetly as he could before getting out of his chair and following her into the principal's office. Danny had seen Principal Caulfield a couple of times before; she would give announcements in the cafeteria sometimes, and would lead fire drills. He'd never been called to her office before. He'd never wanted to.

She smiled at him warmly, a stark contrast to the teacher's steely gaze he could still feel burrowing into the back of his head like knives. "Hello, Daniel. I assume Mrs. Robertson explained why you're here." Danny nodded. "Mrs. Robertson explained what happened to me, but I want to hear it from your perspective. Can you do that for me?" 

Danny shifted from foot to foot, not meeting Principal Caulfield's eyes. "She can leave, if that would make you more comfortable." Principal Caulfield nodded to her, and Mrs. Robertson took her leave.

"Dash was making fun of my family," Danny mumbled. "I tried to walk away, but he grabbed me and wouldn't let me go."

Principal Caulfield nodded. "So you decided to hit him?" 

Danny nodded. 

"Why don't you take a seat?" Slowly, Danny sat down in the chair opposite of hers. "We try very hard to teach our students that violence isn't the answer here, and it never is. You should've called for a teacher, or tried to settle the issue with words. Do you understand that?" 

Danny nodded again. 

"Now, I'm going to call your parents. I'm going to have a long discussion with, and you will be sent home early. I know that the first day of school has a lot of fun activities, and with your behavior today, I think a fair punishment is missing out on them. If this happens again, however, you will be in far more trouble. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am," Danny said. He focused on keeping his voice from wobbling.

"Good. Now, let me see here..." Principal Caulfield stood up and made her way over to her filing cabinet, rifling through one of the drawers and pulling out a folder with a label that read "D. J. Fenton." She flipped through it, traced her finger down one of the pages, and started dialing a number on the phone. Just as Danny had expected, it went to voicemail. A voicemail that was completely full.

Principal Caulfield frowned down at the phone. She looked through the file again, before looking up at Danny. "Are your parents busy right now?"

"My mom's down in the lab," he said. "If Dad's home by now, he's down there with her. If not, he's in the car."

Her face twisted in confusion, probably trying to figure out what Danny meant by lab, before it settled on an expression Danny had become very familiar with over the years. It was the mixed horror and understanding that most adults got when they realized that those two jumpsuit-wearing ghost hunting weirdos did in fact have children, and one of them was standing in front of them. Danny braced himself for the conversation that almost always followed, even as Principal Caulfield's expression faded into a professional veneer of kindness.

"I didn't realize that your parents had a laboratory in your house," she said. "What type of things do they do in the lab?"

"They build things, mostly," Danny said. That was a major simplification; even though Danny wasn't allowed to help with a lot of the things they did, he helped with enough to know a lot more than that they just 'built things.' More importantly, he knew that Principal Caulfield wasn't actually interested in hearing about his parents’ work, no matter how interesting it truly was. She was poking and prodding around the house to make sure Danny and Jazz were safe. He'd gone through it many times. It was never a pleasant conversation but it didn't normally bother Danny. "They don't let me or my sister into the lab unsupervised, they have all the proper PPE for both themselves and us, and anything they think will hurt us, or that they don't know whether it will or not is locked away where we can't get it," Danny recited.

Slowly, Principal Caulfield nodded. "It sounds like that's something you've practiced."

Danny shrugged. "I just get asked things like that a lot."

"Daniel." Her voice was hard. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Danny," she said, and her voice softer this time. She reached her hands out on her desk and folded them over each other. "You understand that that's not normal right? That you shouldn’t be in a house where your safety is questioned by everyone?"

That was also something he heard a lot. It wasn't like any of them were wrong. His parents weren't normal, and he knew that; what did it matter that everyone else knew that too? But Dash's words from before whirled in his head, mixing with Principal Caulfield's concern and the remaining whispers of the dozens of other people who'd said it. Danny bit his tongue to keep from either crying or shouting. He wasn't sure which was more likely. 

It took a few seconds before he managed to get out the response he wanted. "I am safe."

Principal Caulfield sighed. "Do you have any other way to get in contact with your parents?" Danny shook his head, and she pursed her lips. "Ok. Do they let you walk home alone?" Danny nodded. "Since I'm not going to be able to get in contact with them, what we're going to do instead is you're going to walk home. Straight home, no detours. You’re going to give them a letter explaining the whole situation, and then they are going to call me back. If I don't get a call back from them by -" she glanced at the clock on the wall next to her "- by nine o'clock, you are going to be in a lot more trouble. Do you understand?" Danny nodded again.

The next few minutes passed in tense silence as Principal Caulfield wrote out the note for Danny's parents. Finally, she handed the paper over to Danny. "You're free to leave." Danny shoved the note into his backpack and stood up. 

Just as he was about to walk out of the room, she spoke again. "Daniel?" He turned back to look at her. "Let's make sure this doesn't happen again, ok?" 

All he could do was nod.

---

It was almost 8:30 by the time he walked through the front door, his face red and puffy from anger, tears, and the rising August heat. As he had guessed, the sounds of clinking metal echoed up from the lab. He threw his backpack on the couch, and crouched to untie his shoes. He needed to gather his bravery to face his parents. He'd gotten in trouble in school before; even Jazz had gotten in trouble a couple of times, and she was as goody two shoes as they got. It was just that most of the time when he got in trouble, it was for something that his parents were more lenient about; they didn't care about him missing homework assignments when he had spent most of the time with them in the lab. They didn't care about him not paying attention in class because neither of them could pay attention to much of anything not related to ghosts or science; they claimed it was a Fenton Family trait. 

Danny knew that they would care about this.

He took a deep breath and started down the basement stairs. "Mom? Dad?" he called out as soon as he reached the bottom, peeking his head around the corner.

"Danny? Is it three o'clock already?" Maddie said, glancing over at him in confusion.

"I could've sworn that I only just got started!" Jack said, sitting upright from where he was hunched over his workbench. 

"Time sure flies when we're working," Maddie replied with a laugh.

"Um..." Danny shuffled from one foot to the other. "It's not."

"What was that sweetie?" Maddie asked. 

"It's not three yet. I got sent home from school early," Danny said. He started to explain everything, the words falling out of his mouth as he talked. When he finished explaining what Principal Caulfield had said to him, he pulled out the note and held it out to his parents. They'd both moved to stand next to Danny while he was talking. 

Maddie took the paper and opened it to begin reading, while Jack lowered himself to one knee to get on Danny's level. "I'm disappointed in you, son. I thought we had raised you to know better than resorting to violence."

"Unless it’s against a ghost," Maddie added quietly as she continued to read.

"Unless it’s a ghost," Jack amended. "Then your old man can show you how to shoot the sorry spook right between the eyes!" Jack bounced to his feet, pointing his hands into finger guns, and imitating the sounds of shooting and explosions. That went on until Maddie finished reading the note.

"Jack dear, you've gotten distracted again," she said, folding the note back up and slipping it into her jumpsuit pocket before turning to Danny. "What your father is trying to say is that we're proud of you for trying to stick up for us, but you should know better than to start fights."

"I'm sorry…" 

"You don't have to apologize to us," Maddie said. "You need to apologize to Dash. And that's what you're going to do, right now. You're going to go up to your room and write an apology note to him, and then you are going to go right to bed. No games, no TV, no books, no toys. I think that's a fair punishment, don't you honey?"

"Sounds right to me."

"But he started it!" Danny protested. 

"I don't want to hear it, young man," Maddie chided. "We can be a lot meaner about this if you make us."

Danny bit his lip. "Fine."

"Good. Now, you go upstairs, and I'll give your principal a call."

Danny and Maddie made their way out of the basement together. She stopped at the phone to wave Danny along. "And I'll be coming up to check on you soon, so don't think you can sneak out of the punishment." Danny gave a curt nod in response, not stopping his trek upstairs. 

Danny sat down at his desk in his bedroom, grabbing one of his new school notebooks. He and Jazz had talked their parents into buying a bunch of stickers, and the two of them had spent an entire afternoon customizing their new school notebooks. Danny had, of course, covered his in stars, rocket ships, planets, and astronauts. 

Danny’s lungs and eyes burned with anger as he realized that the very first thing he was going to have to put in his new notebooks was an apology letter to Dash, of all people. But he didn't have any of his notebooks from last year, so he didn't have much of a choice.

He flipped to the first page and lifted his pencil to start writing. The first couple of words were dark and shaky. The pencil tip snapped from the force he used. Danny let his head fall to the desk, and groaned into his arms. "Why do I have to apologize?" he complained to himself, not lifting his head from the desk. "He doesn't deserve it. He's been nothing but mean for years." 

The burning feeling in his throat got more intense. Hot tears ran down his eyes onto the notebook, smearing the few words he’d managed to write.

Danny turned over and glared at the door. His mom had said that she'd come and check on him, but he had grown up with her. There was the chance that she'd make good on her word, sure, but it was far more likely that something would call her back to the lab and she'd forget all about Danny, at least until Jazz got home. 

Danny didn't want to risk the offhand chance of her coming up and catching him doing something she said not to, but that didn't mean he had to write the letter. Not yet, anyway. Danny pushed his chair back from the desk with a squeak, and made his way over to his bed, flopping onto the mattress. With his pillow muffling him, Danny let the tears flow freely.

---

Danny sat in class, the teacher at the front of the room droning on about something. He wasn't paying attention. How could he, when he could feel the weight of his classmates’ stares on his shoulders? Their whispers joined together in a cacophony of noise, getting louder and louder with every passing moment until Danny couldn't even hear himself think. The sound persisted even when he covered his ears with his hands, pushing against his head until it hurt. "Please, stop," he begged. Like a switch, everyone stopped whispering. Danny opened his eyes to see the teacher from the playground standing above his desk. 

"What was that, Fenton?" she said, her voice dripping with venom. 

"I just..." Danny looked around at his classmates, but he couldn't focus on any of them, not under the heat of the teacher's gaze. "I wanted them to stop talking."

"How dare you interrupt their conversation!" Spittle flew from her mouth, bright green, and splattered against Danny's desk where it sizzled, chewing through the wood. He flinched back. "Apologize. To all of them. And then it's straight to the principal with you!" 

"But I didn't do anything!" Danny protested. 

"And you're talking back? If you're ever allowed back in this school again, you can apologize then. But I think the principal might put a stop to that."

Danny tried to stand up, but his legs were glued to the chair. He strained against the force holding him down until his muscles burned, but no matter what he did, he couldn't move. 

"What do you think you're doing, young man?" The teacher said, and she bared her glistening fangs at him. "You are about to be in a world of trouble!"

"What, are you too weak to get out of your chair, Fenturd?" Dash's voice overlapped the teacher’s. "Or is a ghost holding you down? We gonna have to call your crazy parents?"

They didn’t stop talking even as the rest of the class started again, an echoing cacophony of every horrible thing Danny had ever heard about him and his parents and his sister and his house and everything. All he could do was struggle against the chair even as his legs burned from the effort and his head pounded and his eyes leaked hot tears and- 

Danny sat upright in his bed, gasping for air. His school clothes, which he had fallen asleep in, stuck to the skin, and the blanket he'd been sleeping on top of was soaked with cold sweat. He grabbed at his chest, trying to slow down the frantic beating of his heart. 

"It was just a dream," he said to himself, still breathless. "It wasn't real."

Danny'd had nightmares before, but they'd always been full of fantastical beasts and monsters and ghosts. He’d never felt trapped; any time that he'd get too scared, he'd reach to the stars. Their ever-present shimmering would block out whatever terrors plagued his mind, and he'd wake up calm.

The stars weren’t there to save him this time, and that was almost scarier than the nightmare had been.

---

"Did you get the note finished like I asked?" Maddie asked over their Chinese takeout. (Surprisingly, Jack had tried to cook dinner. Emphasis on the tried. He claimed that the hot dogs started the fire in the kitchen, but they had been peaceful since the Great Toaster War, so Danny was pretty sure that Jack just burned the water he'd been boiling. And the stove he'd been boiling it on.)

"Mhm," Danny answered around his mouthful of pork fried rice. He hadn't even started the letter. Every time he did, the cutting words of his dream flooded his mind. It wasn't like she'd check it anyway.

"Good. Make sure to give it to him tomorrow when you go back to school," she said. 

"I still can't believe you got into a fight!" Jazz said. "I didn't get into any fights when I was your age."

"You're only two years older than me," Danny grumbled, shoveling another bite into his mouth.

"And those two years make quite the difference, obviously," she replied. She twirled the noodle around her fork. "I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that-"

Danny cut her off before she could get started. "Can I be excused?"

Maddie and Jack shared a look before Maddie nodded. "Don’t forget you’re still grounded, mister!" Jack called out after him as Danny shoveled one last spoonful into his mouth and retreated to his room. 

The day had passed slowly and painfully, with Danny spending a lot of time staring at his wall. He'd tried going down to the lab to help his parents, but they had made him go back upstairs to his room. It had taken an hour for them to remember to do so, in which they had told him all about the newest ecto-filtration system they were working on developing, but that hour hadn't done much to help with the other ten hours of extreme boredom. That, and the skin crawling grossness from the dream had yet to leave him.

Despite the fact that Danny had done less than nothing today, he was tired. He may have left the dinner table to avoid Jazz's rambling, but he probably would've done that anyway. In spite of the sun still streaming through the window, he made his way through his bedtime routine, before laying down in his bed, this time in his comfortable pajamas.

Apparently, it didn't matter that Danny's exhaustion seemed to run bone deep; no matter how he twisted and turned, he couldn't get comfortable. Every time he thought he'd found a nice position, his hand, head, or legs would throb. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the teacher from his nightmare with the venom filled fangs, or the disappointed faces of his parents and Principal Caulfield. 

Something told him that if he fell asleep, he would be met by similar dreams. No matter how tired he was, he didn't want to go through that again. He tried to keep his hands busy, and when he was too tired to move them with any more grace then a baby, he moved to keeping his mind occupied.

Despite how much he fought it, the soft ticking sound of his clock lulled him into an uneasy sleep.

—

Danny knew that he was dreaming because of the stars. The stars that had hovered at the edges of his vision in every dream but the last now covered everything, as if they were making up for lost time.

"Woah..." he whispered. He'd dreamed of standing in a field of stars before, but this felt...different. Before, there’d always been that one patch that stood out from the rest, his constant companion, a spot inconsistent with the rest of them. It had always felt more real, more physical, then the rest of them. This time, that patch made up everything around him. 

He dropped to his knees to touch one, an exceptionally bright star that pulsed with the beating of his heart. He cupped it in his hands, pulling it out from the inky blackness that surrounded it. It stayed where he held it, with most of the darkness dripping off like water, only a thin strand keeping it connected to the rest of the starscape. It wasn't warm like he'd expected; in fact, it was cold. So cold that it almost hurt to hold it, but he didn't put it down. He'd been dreaming of this moment, literally, for his entire life.

He stared down at the glowing ball, enraptured by its flickering lights, before he realized that it was… wrong. He knew stars; he had begged his parents to bring him to the space museum so often over the summer the people working there knew him by name. Stars were not just balls of light, they were balls of fire that moved and changed. Whatever he held in his hand was nothing but pure light, perfectly frozen, completely unchanging. 

He let the not-star fall from his hands, slipping back into its place in the inky void.

"Is it not living up to your expectations, little dreamer?" Danny whirled around to try and find the voice, but it seemed to come from everywhere, echoing endlessly. The sound traveled in ripples across the not-quite liquid floor, and the echoes only started to fade when the ripples did.

"Who are you?" Danny asked, continuing to scan his surroundings unsuccessfully. "Where are you?"

"You may call me Nocturne," the voice said. "And you already know the answer to the last question."

"I do?" Danny asked, confused. He spun around in a circle slowly. 

"You do. We're in a dream."

"This doesn't feel like my dreams..." Danny said. 

"That's because it isn't one of your dreams," Nocturne said. The surrounding darkness coalesced into one being, the starry cloak extending endlessly into the rest of the surroundings. One cluster of stars became a horned mask, with sunken eyes that seemed to be staring straight through Danny. "It's one of mine. I've brought you here to make a deal."

Nearly every alarm bell Danny had started ringing at once. Despite this, he did not feel scared, just wrong. Something was wrong. He tried to figure out what, but failed. Nocturne was still staring at him expectantly. He had to answer, even if he couldn’t figure it out. “My parents say I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

Nocturne's laughter rang out through the dream, even though his mask remained perfectly stationary, his eyes never leaving Danny. "Dearest Daniel, I am many things, but I am no stranger." He moved closer to Danny. Or, Danny moved closer to him, the ground beneath his feet folding over itself as if the world was being moved around him.. "You've known me for many, many years now."

"I don't..." Danny started to say, but he cut himself off with a hard swallow. He did know Nocturne, even if he didn't understand how. "What are you?" Danny asked instead.

"I am a ghost," Nocturne said, and Danny’s alarm bells worsened as a cold dread settled on his shoulders. Maybe he was in danger. "You don't need to be afraid, little dreamer. If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done it a very long time ago." 

For some reason, that didn't make Danny any less afraid.

He tried to stumble backwards, only to find that the cold liquid of the pool had hardened around his ankles, locking him in place. "What do you want with me?" Danny said, and his voice was barely over a whisper.

Nocturne tilted his head to the side. "I think a better question is how can we help each other? As I said before, I am offering you a deal. All I want from you for now is to listen." Nocturne laughed again. "I suppose in this case your question ended up just as good as any other." He held his hand out to Danny. "Now, shall we?"

Danny struggled to tear his gaze away from Nocturne's piercing eyes, but he managed to. The ghost's hands were barely visible, blending in almost perfectly to the inky blackness surrounding them, but Danny could still make out the vague outline of claws connected to a hand nearly the size of his face. He knew he should say no; he'd spent his whole life listening to his parents talk about ghosts. They were heartless creatures, a sad mixture of energy and ectoplasm and nothing more. They were more dangerous than anything Danny could ever dream up, had the ability to kill him with nothing more than a thought, and may do something even worse with only a little bit more. He should not take Nocturne's hand.

He tried to move again, but his foot was still stuck in the pool, the cold liquid clinging to him like tar. It didn't look like Danny had much of a choice. Hesitantly, Danny reached out and took hold of one of Nocturne's claws, touching as little of him as he could. Nocturne's expression did not change, but Danny could still feel the satisfaction rolling off of him in waves.

Danny could not remember blinking, but he must have, because one second they were in the star-studded abyss, and the next they were standing at the rear end of Danny's classroom. Danny looked around, confused, and his confusion only grew when he saw himself sitting in the middle seat. His doppelganger was hunched in on himself, visibly uncomfortable.

"You recognize this scene, do you not?" Nocturne asked.

Slowly, Danny nodded. "My nightmare. From earlier today."

"Very good. Tell me, what do you think of it?"

"Um, I don't like it?" Danny answered.

"And why is that?"

Danny shrugged. "I mean, no one likes nightmares."

"Yes, but you've had plenty of nightmares before. Why was this one different?"

Danny bit his lip and took a shot in the dark. "It reminded me of my bad day?"

"Excellent, little dreamer," Nocturne said, his voice laced with pride. "The bad things that have happened, or the bad things that might. Everyone gets them, at some point or another. And yet, for a very long time, yours were special. You were never truly afraid of the things that might happen, but created new things to be afraid of. Isn't that right?"

Danny gave a small nod. It felt like the answer Nocturne was looking for.

"Tell me," Nocturne continued. "Do you want to have more dreams like this one? Do you want for them to be built on the ugly truth of your reality?"

This time, Danny shook his head.

"I didn't think you would," Nocturne said. "Which is why I am offering you an escape from it. I can make it so that you never have these dreams, or any like it, ever again. All you need to do is help me in turn."

Danny narrowed his eyes. He may not have been the smartest Fenton, but he wasn't an idiot. And he had grown up with an older sister. "How would I be helping you?" he asked. "Cause my parents have talked a lot about fairy stories, and they say it’s really bad to make a deal with a fairy, and that fairies are just ghosts that have been mislabeled."

"The details are somewhat complex."

Danny crossed his arms. "Well, I'm not making any deal unless I know what it’s about."

The stars in Nocturne's cloak twinkled brighter. "There is an issue within my home, the Infinite Realms, that requires someone special like you to fix. It is, of course, more complicated than that, but that is the important part."

"And what would I need to do to fix it?" Danny asked.

"It is my understanding that you would simply need to be present," Nocturne replied. "As for the how, that comes back to your side of the offer. Instead of having dreams like this," Nocturne swept his hand across the room. "...you would instead spend your dreaming nights in the Realms. In the morning, you would wake up in your bed as if nothing had happened."

"It won't be any kind of sleeping forever thing, right?" Danny asked.

"It could be if you would like," Nocturne said. "Unless you request it, however, no. It would last just as long as any of your other dreams."

"So you want me to agree to let you take me into the world of ghosts, every night, instead of having the occasional bad dream?" Danny asked slowly. "That doesn't seem very fair to me."

"It would not be the occasional bad dream," Nocturne said. "Dreams are my realm. I know them very, very well. And your dreams have been... tainted. It does not matter whether you take this deal or not, you will never return to the dreams you had for so long. I am simply offering you an alternative to this mundanity."

"Why should I trust you?" Danny asked.

"You shouldn't," Nocturne answered easily. "But you don't need to trust me to agree to the deal."

"And if I don't agree to it?"

"Then you will wake up with no memory of ever seeing me, and go back to a life where you can't escape the horrors of the real world even in the comfort of sleep."

Danny took a deep breath through his nose, and looked around the room. He couldn't hear anything that was happening, but his memory worked to fill in the gaps. The teacher was nearly frothing at the mouth with her green, acidic spit, the other kids in the class were either whispering or laughing at him, and the dream Danny was sitting at his desk. His face was a patchy red, tears streaming down his face. He remembered how helpless he had felt sitting there, and he couldn't imagine feeling like that for who knows how long.

Danny turned back to Nocturne, whose gaze had never once strayed from him. "Okay." His voice didn't shake, despite how nervous he felt. "I agree."

"Wonderful." Nocturne reached his hand out to Danny. This time Danny didn't hesitate to take it, and then the world shifted around him.

[allthingsfangirl101]

To The Rescue – Steve Harrington

Steve's POV

Y/N Henderson and I started dating right before I found out about the UpsideDown. When I found out that Dustin had dragged her into all this shit, I was furious. It was right after we killed one of the demodogs and were hiding out at Will's house. Y/N came running into the house and instantly went to Dustin's side.

~•~

"What happened? Are you okay? What's wrong with you? Why would you go after. . ."

"Y/N?" I panicked, interrupting her. I ran over, pulled her away from Dustin and into my arms. We broke out of the hug and I led her to the kitchen. The second we were alone, I leaned down and crashed my lips onto hers. I felt her smile against my lips as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"What are you doing here?" I asked when I broke the kiss.

"Well, Dustin told me that you guys were planning on going . . ."

"He told you about all this?!" I couldn't help but snap. I let go of her and was about to run to Dustin and beat some sense into him. Y/N grabbed my hand and pulled me into her chest. She slid her hands up my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Breathe, baby," she whispered. "I've known about all of this long before you did, but Dusty made me promise not to get involved."

"You knew?" I stuttered.

"Oh, come on," she chuckled. "It's Dustin dealing with weird science-fictiony stuff. Of course, he told me."

"I hate that he told you," I sighed.

"Steve. . ."

"I don't want you anywhere near this shit, Y/N," I cut her off. "I mean it. I need you safe. I can handle running after the kids, protecting them from all of this weird shit. But if you were running around with us, and I couldn't keep you safe. . . If something happened to you. . . I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

She stood on her toes and delicately pressed her lips to mine. "I'm not involved, baby," she whispered. "And even if I was, you would never let something happen to me."

~•~

Ever since then, I've constantly checked on Y/N whenever something has gone down. The second we stopped fighting, I'd drive straight to her house. There were many nights after a fight that I'd sleep next to her. It got to the point where I couldn't sleep unless I was holding her.

Tonight, we were using raw meat to lead Dustin's lizard pet and friends to the junkyard. A while ago, Dustin ran off to go check on something while I continued leaving a trail. Once I finished, I went back to my car.

"Steve!"

I turned around to see Dustin running toward me. "What's wrong with you?" I chuckled.

"Y/N's gone."

"She's what?!"

"I went to the house, but she wasn't there," he started to explain. "Her car was still at the house. Her backpack was there, but she wasn't. I asked my mom but she hasn't seen her since after school."

"Maybe she's at my house," I said, trying to remain calm.

"I tried that," Dustin mumbled. "No one was there."

"She's not. . . Then where is she, Dustin?" I asked through my teeth.

"I don't know," he sighed. "But I have a theory."

"What?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"She might've. . . The hive mind could've. . . There's a possibility. . ."

"Spit. It. Out."

"The hive mind could've grabbed Y/N."

I went over and opened the trunk. I reached in and grabbed the bat of nails. I gripped it so tight, my knuckles immediately turned white. I turned to Dustin to see him watching me closely.

"Let's go get our girl back."

* * * * *

"Shouldn't we tell the others?" Dustin asked, briefly changing the subject.

"No."

"They could help."

"No."

"But maybe Hopper can help us."

"No."

"Are you sure? Eleven can. . ."

"I said no," I snapped. "You and I are going to do this alone. We aren't risking anyone else's lives."

"What if we can't find her?"

"We'll find her."

"It took us weeks to find Will."

"We'll find her."

"And we never found Barb."

"That's not going to happen to Y/N."

"I never should've brought my sister into any of this."

"No, you shouldn't have."

"If something happens, it's all my fault."

"Little bit."

"I can't believe I brought her into this."

"I wanted to keep her away from it."

"But she's smart. I figured she could help us."

"She has."

"I love my sister, but she's not much of a badass."

"Yes, she is."

"She doesn't really like doing anything adventurous."

"So? She's still a badass."

"She sits at home, reading. Honestly, I'm not even sure why you would go out with her."

"Hey," I scoffed. "I like your sister. She's funny and smart and sweet. I don't care that she isn't adventurous. I like spending date nights, sitting around, and watching movies. She's the whole reason I'm not an asshole anymore. I knew that if I really wanted her, and I did, I'd have to grow up."

"We have to save her, Steve. If we don't. . ."

"Stop!" I yelled. I froze along the path and turned toward him. "You gotta stop, Dustin. I can't handle you talking about Y/N like she. . . Like we aren't. . . We are going to find her. We are going to go down the hive and find Y/N. You and I are going to bring her home. I'm not losing her."

"Holy shit!"

I stopped walking and turned toward a smirking Dustin. "What?"

"You're in love with Y/N."

I turned my focus back on the path. My thoughts went back to every moment I've spent with Y/N. I thought about her smile and her laugh. I thought about the feeling I got when I held her hand, when she laid her head on my shoulder, when she fell asleep in my arms, when we kissed. Every moment we spent together was burned into my brain.

We haven't slept together because she was a little nervous. I didn't mind waiting. I wanted her to be comfortable with me. I'd wait years if it meant that I was the only one who got to hold her, hug her, kiss her, love her.

"Yes."

"Wait, really?" Dustin gasped. "Steve, cut the shit. Alright? This is my big sister we're talking about. She's not one of your drunken one-night stands. She's not one of your bimbos."

"I know that," I said. "She's not one of my drunken one-night stands. She's not one of my bimbos. I care about her, Dustin. In fact, you were right. I'm in love with her. And I am ready to do whatever it takes to bring her home."

* * * * *

When we finally got to the hive, Dustin and I carefully lowered ourselves into the tunnels. After some debate, we finally decided which way to go. The entire way down the tunnels, I made sure to keep Dustin safe as my thoughts constantly went to Y/N. I had to find her. Once I did, I'd wrap her in my arms and never let her go.

"Can you promise me something?" Dustin asked, breaking the silence.

"Sure," I shrugged. Dustin grabbed my arm, making me stop.

"Promise me that when we find Y/N, you'll tell her the truth."

"The truth. . ."

"About how you feel," he clarified. "I hate to tell you this, but Y/N used to think she'd never find someone to love her. Since you do, you need to tell her. She needs to know that someone can love her, that someone does love her."

"She really thought. . ."

"She's always thought it," Dustin shrugged as he started walking again. "My mom and I kept telling her that she would find someone, but Y/N always thought that she was too quiet to get a guy."

"That's ridiculous," I sighed. "Just because she's quiet doesn't mean a guy won't fall in love with her."

"Then promise that you'll. . ." Suddenly, Dustin stopped talking.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked. I turned and saw what he had stopped him in his tracks.

Y/N wrapped up in vines.

I ran over and immediately started ripping them off her. Dustin was quickly by my side, helping me free her. When we got her free, she fell forward. I quickly caught her, lowered us both to the ground, and brought her into my chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around her as my heart rate slowed down.

"Is she okay?" Dustin asked.

I looked down and delicately moved some hair out of her face. I gently pressed my fingers to her neck and held my breath as I waited to feel her pulse. I let out a soft chuckle when I felt her pulse against my fingers.

"She's okay," I said, letting out a sigh of relief. I pulled her back into my chest and kissed the top of her head. "She's okay."

"Steve?"

I gasped and looked down as Y/N's eyes fluttered open. When she looked at me, a sob got stuck in my throat.

"Hi," I whispered.

"You found me," she giggled weakly. I leaned down and smashed my lips onto hers. I felt her smile as she reached up and cupped my cheek while our lips moved in sync.

"I'll always find you," I whispered, breaking the kiss. I glanced over at Dustin before turning back to Y/N. At the last minute, I decided to wait.

"Let's get you home."

I stood up and instantly helped Y/N to her feet. She smiled when Dustin ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I'm okay," Y/N whispered. "Dusty?"

"Yeah?" He asked, quickly pulling out of the hug and eagerly bouncing on his toes.

"Can we go home?" She asked, her voice breaking. "I'm really tired."

"Sorry," Dustin chuckled. I wrapped my arm around Y/N's waist and helped her back down the tunnel. Once we got to the hole, I turned toward her.

"You okay?" I asked as I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I don't know if I'm gonna be strong enough to climb up there," she admitted. She looked down, hoping to hide her embarrassment from me. I gently grabbed her chin and made her look back up at me.

"Don't worry," I whispered. "I'll get you out of here."

I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. She smiled gently as she kissed me back. We broke apart when Dustin groaned.

"You promised you wouldn't do that in front of me and now you've done it twice."

"Sorry, Dusty," Y/N said, the tiredness coming through in her voice. I smiled when she leaned her head against my chest.

"Dustin, climb back up and run to my car," I started instructing him. "I have a rope ladder in my trunk. Bring it here and tie it to a tree. It'll be easier for Y/N to go up a ladder than to try and climb up the rope."

Dustin looked at his sister leaning against me and nodded. As quickly as he could, he climbed the rope and ran to my car. While he was gone, I turned toward Y/N.

"Baby?" I whispered. "Can you tell me what happened? How did you get down here?"

"Can we sit down?" She asked. I nodded and instantly helped her sit down. I sat next to her and she leaned against me.

"What happened, gorgeous?"

"I had just gotten home," she started to explain. I almost told her to stop because of how tired she sounded. "I was dropping off my backpack before going to see you."

"You were on your way to see me?" I couldn't help but ask. I subconsciously tightened my arms around her.

"Before I left, my Mom needed me to do something in the backyard," she continued quickly. "One minute, I'm checking on my Mom's garden, and the next. . ."

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head when she didn't continue.

"It's okay, baby," I whispered. "You're safe now."

"He kept showing me. . . Things," Y/N said, her voice breaking as tears started streaming down her face.

"Baby, you don't have to tell me anything. Let's get you home."

"You'll stay the night, right?" She asked as she looked up at me. "Please?"

I reached up and cupped her face in my hand. I leaned down and delicately kissed her. When I broke the kiss, I kept my face inches from hers.

"Of course, baby," I whispered. "I'll stay over as long as you need me."

"Y/N? Steve? You guys still down there?" Dustin called from above.

"Yeah," I called back. "We're still here. Y/N needed to sit down."

I stood up and turned back around toward Y/N. I extended my hands and helped her to her feet.

"Let's get you home, gorgeous," I whispered. With our hands intertwined, I led her over to the rope ladder. "I'm right here, baby. Just take it one step at a time."

Before she grabbed the rope ladder, she turned around. She gently pressed her hands to my chest as she stood up and kissed me.

"Thank you for finding me," she whispered.

"I'd do anything to find you," I whispered.

"Come on, you weirdos!"

"You go first," I chuckled. "I'll be right behind you."

Y/N kissed my cheek before shakily climbing the rope ladder. I stayed right behind her, like I promised, just in case she fell. When she reached the top, Dustin helped her the rest of the way up.

The second she was safely with her brother, I quickly climbed the ladder. When I got to the top, Y/N was in her brother's arms. She turned to me and smiled when she saw me.

"Can we go home?" She asked.

"Of course," Dustin said, trying to laugh.

I walked over and wrapped my arm around Y/N's waist. She stayed pressed to my side as we walked back to my car. Dustin got in the back as I helped Y/N into the front seat. When I got into the driver's seat, she scooted over and leaned her head against my shoulder.

When we got to the Henderson house, Dustin checked on his sister one last time before grabbing his bike and heading to check on Will. I kept my arms around her and escorted her inside.

"Is your Mom home?" I asked as I closed and locked the door behind us.

"No," she sighed. "She's been working late a lot. She's saving up for Christmas."

"Is she going to be okay with me staying over?"

"I don't know," she mumbled as she shrugged. I laughed as I walked her over to their couch and we sat down.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. "I could make you something to eat."

I started to get up but she stopped me. "Please don't go," she said quickly. "I just. . . I need you."

My heart melted as she started to silently sob. I tightened my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as I could get her.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised. "You get some sleep and I will be here when you wake up."

"Before I do," Y/N stuttered as she sat up and turned toward me, "there's something I need to tell you."

"Okay," I whispered. "What is it?"

"I love you," she blurted out quickly. I was so happy, I couldn't think of anything to say to her.

Which may not have been the best thing for her. Her eyes filled with tears again. She started to get up but I stopped her. Instead of saying anything, I gently grabbed her face and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her slowly start kissing me back. When I broke the kiss, she looked at me confused.

"I love you, Y/N Henderson."

[hockybish]

what is the family’s reaction when they find out that lola ran away!? & the process of returning her home pls (:

more of Buggy

Lola didn't get very far.

The plan was to go back to Canada. Jack had told her many times before thats were she belonged, so why not go back? It not like they would miss her since life seemed to revolve around Jack at the time.

It was very well thought out yet though. She didn't really have an idea how she was getting to Canada. When she left the house in the middle of the afternoon she climbed on a bus and traveled to Ann Arbor. From there she figured she would keeping bus hopping until she got to her destination or at least close to it.

After that? No idea. Nonetheless, she'd figure it out on the fly. But for right now she was on campus in Ann Arbor. Wandering around, trying to figure out where her brother was so she could give him goodbye gift, much like she had given Buggy back to Jack and she returned Luke's hat.

"Honey, can I help you find something? You look a little lost." A friendly voice called from behind her. Lola knew better than to talk to strangers, but she was so lost right now.

"I uh." Lola's mind went black trying to think of what to saw next. She never really thought of what she was going to do when she had eventually arrived at Yost. "I'm looking for my brother."

"Oh? Who's your brother?" The stranger pressed further.

"He's um um" His name was on the tip of her tongue, but for some reason she couldn't form the words to say his name. Her eyes darted everywhere until they landed on a familiar face. "Josh!"

~

"Lola come on we gotta go!" A stressed out Ellen called out from the kitchen. Expecting some sort of snooty response, but there was nothing.

"I told you before mom, I don't think she's here." Jack piped up. He had been sitting at the counter eating a sandwich. He had checked all of her regular hiding spots earlier when he was trying to five back buggy but couldn't find her.

That sent Ellen into a bit of panic mode. Lola was gone and she had no idea where to start looking for her. Does she start calling around to see if any friends or family had seen her or does she go straight to the police?

She chose the first option. She started calling people and recruited Jack, Luke and Alex to drive around and look for the missing girl.

"What did you do?" Luke squinted at his older brother. His immediate reaction to hearing his baby was missing was to get mad at the guy who made her disappear in the first place.

"I didn't do anything." Jack put a little more emphasis on the do. He was pretty positive he hadn't done anything more than normal this time.

"You always do something, you fu-" "No I dont!"

"Will you guys shut up? Your sister is missing and all you two idiots can do is argue." Alex piped up from the backseat. "Find her first, argue later"

"Fine, where do we start?"

~

Quinn was just sitting down with his precious piece of pizza. He had a long day with a test, a paper due, and a tough practice. He wanted to eat and maybe play some video games.

He had just taken a bite when Josh entered the house with his baby sister, who shouldn't be there at all.

"What are you doing here?" Quinn asked her. He had just gotten a txt from his mother and could feel the table vibrating beneath him with responses to what he had just told her.

"I have something for you" Lola placed the package on the stool next him. There she was done with her business at the hockey house and could be on her way to her next destination.

"And this couldn't wait until next time I came home?"

"No"

Lola gave her older brother a quick hug and asked to go to the bathroom. She slipped out the back while he wasn't looking, continuing on her way.

With her back to him Quinn finally had a chance to look at his phone. There were multiple messages from his mother, all alluding to one thing Lola was missing and he knew where she was.

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