#my mental health has rarely been better to be honest I highly recommend trying it and sticking with it for a while

[afniel]

This is literally how I deal with anxiety attacks, by the way. Express gratitude that your brain/body are trying to protect you, acknowledge that while you are grateful, you do not need this protection right now because you aren't in danger, and then gently try to let go of it. Takes long-term practice and repetition (and patience!), but it's been the number one most helpful thing for me.

Gratitude - Tidying Up With Marie Kondo (2019)

[saphinc]

a guide to working in a group home !!

i absolutely love my job and the things i’ve learned from it. if you’re looking for a unique job for your next character , try this! it could also help if your character is living in / has lived in a group home! but take it with a grain of salt , because this is one house , in one company , in one state in one country! and lastly , my inbox is always open for questions! because there’s a lot i couldn’t fit in here.

terminology !

behaviors : problematic / unhealthy things that individuals do (ex: stealing, verbally abusing others, isolating )

skills : healthy things we encourage them to do , that they have expressed / signed off as something they want to work on (ex: cooking, walking, eating )

dbt : stands for dialectical behavioral therapy. this is group therapy where therapists teach individuals coping skills and distress tolerance. every client we have has to graduate dbt class and be in individual therapy , it’s in the contract.

charting : when members of the staff team write out a complete summary of each client during / at the end of their shift.

s.o. house : mental health group home for sex offenders. two of the three homes in my cluster are s.o. homes. they aren’t allowed to be around my clients.

dsp / ps / pd : direct support professional / program supervisor / program director ( more on these later ).

elope : when a client runs away or sneaks out and we don’t know where they are.

cluster : the group of houses under a pd’s direction. usually 3-5 houses.

prn : as needed medication , something that is not prescribed such as tylenol.

some quick etiquette : we call the people living in our group home with mental health, clients or individuals when we’re referring to them. when speaking to them or amongst each other we’ll call them by their initials.

general info !

when i say group home , it is literally a house. in the middle of a normal neighborhood. we’re the only group home on our block.

there are so many types ok. i work at a home for vulnerable adults with mental health. some of my co-workers come from homes with only nonverbal clients , from hospice homes , from homes with individuals with traumatic brain injuries or physical disabilities working to recover or having no one else to help them.

i have four clients that live in my group home. that is the max for my house ; others can hold more. they filter in and out. one of my clients has been in this group home for seven years. one just moved in last december.

they each have their own bedroom. they get to choose the paint for their walls and can decorate it however they want.

funding sucks. the pay sucks , most of our furniture & appliances are outdated. we have to buy the cheapest food possible to meet our budget , and the house is not in great condition. we get by , but the mental health field doesn’t have a lot of money.

our goal overall , for each client , is to get them out of here. we support them when they can’t support themselves , lift them up , help them learn coping skills & life skills until they’re equipped for independence and can move out.

my home is a 24 hour awake group home. we have to have a staff there , awake , 24 hours a day. other houses in our cluster have staff there all times of the day, but they can sleep during that time ( they pay is different of course ).

job structure !

alright , i can’t repeat it enough: this is just my company. i don’t know what the structure is like in others!

i’m at the lowest level , the least paid , but the most interaction and contact with clients : the direct support professional / mental health caretaker! i love it and wouldn’t want to take on any of the other jobs.

some of my jobs include : cooking for clients , cleaning the home , driving them places , sitting in on their therapy , mediating conflicts , teaching them coping skills , talking them through stressful times , helping them find resources. i am with them every second of my shift. they know me and the other dsps the best.

technically , there are SUPPOSED to be two dsps in the house at all times , but my house is really understaffed so we have three dsps , one for each shift , and the program supervisor is on sight with one of the dsps most of the time. the ps does: anything involving our clients’ finances , cleaning up biohazard things ,

above me, my boss, is the program supervisor. my direct boss. i don’t know how it works in other group homes but i work very closely with my ps. like i said , it might just because we’re understaffed and she’s with us all day everyday.

above them is the program director. my boss’s boss. i highly do not recommend this job. if your character has it , they are probably a very grumpy and broke person with no life outside of work. my pd is on call 24 hours a day and gets paid on salary. so , yeah. 0/10.

next is the area director , the ad. they are the boss of all the pds in a particular area. i’m not positive but i think there are four pds with their own clusters , under my area director. they usually do the hiring and communicate with the pd to negotiate , mediate and give permission for certain things.

and finally , the regional director. the regional director is in charge of 3-5 different area directors. they’re busy. we RARELY see them or hear from them. not quite sure what they do to be honest.

i do NOT know if there’s anything between this position and ceo. i have met the regional director only twice. and that’s just because the area director was on maternity leave + our house is high behavioral / violent.

the job !

we go through TONS of training. primarily first aid , self defense / holds / , 4-8 hour seminars on each disorder in our homes and de-escalation. we get certifications of this and every year we have to renew them and go through the entire trainings again..

my job is to mediate , caretake and entertain but i also have to track. u need an EXCELLENT memory for this job. and hey , i have a horrible memory so i use about half a stack of post it notes per day. it’s possible!

that being said , we track everything. the more descriptive the better. we write down notable things they said , what they were doing at what times , what prns they take during shift , what their mood is , what they eat. everything. we write it down and track it in the computer. the pd review the notes everyday.

individuals !

ok so my clients mainly come from two places: the hospital or jail. usually they are admitted into a group home program as a last resort because their families can’t take care of them or understand them.

when clients move out, it is usually to two places: the hospital or their own place. you can work with a client for months and they’ll end up losing it & being kicked out of the program / arrested. we like the other option better.

there are such a wide variety of disorders in the homes. my clients range from a constant state of psychosis from their schizophrenia , to an autistic epileptic with an intellectual disability , to a narcissistic kleptomaniac.

my clients have done terrible things in the past. when you learn of these things , you might look at them differently. a lot of staff quit after finding certain things out ( clients’ past crimes or traumas ) or seeing certain behaviors ( violence , eloping ). but here’s the thing: they are sick. there’s a reason they’re with us / in the hospital instead of jail. they did these things when their state of mind was NOT right. it is so important to separate them from what they’ve done or endured. we can’t be biased in this profession.

dynamics  !

there’s drama between clients. oh , there is. i have two clients who are very close. they team up on the other clients by intimidating them or straight up bullying them. we as staff have to interfere with this behavior and protect the clients from each other. but yeah. there’s drama.

they’ll hurt each other. they hurt us. my boss was shanked once. it happens.

i mentioned this earlier but we don’t ( and can’t ) hold this against them. we can’t hold grudges because it is their mental health that makes them act out and that’s why they are receiving our help.

we do get compensated for injuries and broken property ( glasses, etc )

we can and do call the police on our clients. they can and do call the police on us. one time a client called the cops on us because we were making fish for dinner. the police are very familiar with our house.

there are very strict boundaries between staff and clients , but some of us are with them all day every day. it’s natural that connections will form. but technically , we are not supposed to. but it always hurts when one of them graduates or leaves the program. it’s a really emotionally draining job in that way.

health !

we’re the first to get hit with pandemics. those long-term housing facilities you hear about getting covid ? yeah. that’s us.

group homes have lost their minds over the virus. i could write a whole guide on that alone , and the differences in another. what you should know is we take health risks VERY seriously. these are vulnerable adults. they will be the first to die of these diseases.

i won’t sugarcoat it ; most of my clients are not clean. they do not take care of themselves in terms of grooming or hygeine. this is for a couple reasons

the main being that this is their mental health. they either can’t / won’t get out of bed , are paranoid / afraid of it , or just hate us as staff and refuse to do anything we suggest no matter how good it might be for them.

the second ? we can’t drag them into the bathroom and make them wash their hands or shower. they do what they want , all we can do is make frequent suggestions for their health. we cannot force them to do ANYTHING. more on this later.

there are group homes that need to do toileting and bathing for their clients. we don’t at mine because we’re not a home for disabilities , but that means it stinks all the time and we go through a lot of febreeze.

laws  !

it’s their house, not staff’s. we get to the house , clock in, start our shift and leave when it’s over. we do the cleaning , the cooking , the shopping. but it is their house. they are paying rent for it.

we can’t force them to do anything. we can’t make them eat , we can’t make them take their meds , we can’t make them go anywhere. they have the right to refuse anything they want. and some of them will push our buttons just to see what will happen. the truth is ? we don’t care. we get to go home at the end of the day. it doesn’t affect us if they do or don’t do something , they’ll reap the consequences ( ie. getting fired if they stop going to work , being visited by the doctor if they refuse meds etc )

they have more rights than us. part of the reason tracking is so important is to save our own asses. if my client gets sunburned while i’m working and i don’t note that i offered sunscreen and they refused? i can get in HUGE trouble because that is neglect. we’ve lost many employees this way.

some clients have more restrictions than others. one of my clients has phone restrictions due to impulsive behavior, so we have to monitor her calls. the others can take the phone into their rooms and be private no problem.

writing !

if you’re writing a character who works in a group home , there is one absolutely essentially trait that they need to have to be successful in their job at a group home: patience. mental health clients can be vindictive , manipulative and downright bullies but we can by NO means retaliate , lose our temper with them , or hold grudges in anyway. we are de-escalating and talking calmly , every moment of our shift. that is SUPER important.

i touched on this a bit earlier , but this job is draining. you got pushed around & treated like crap by your clients everyday , cook & clean for them , etc. the pay sucks and the hours are long. if your character works here ? they are probably very tired. it’s hard not to bring the work home. you really do get attached.

[imaginarytoon1]

Before the start of 2020, I remember thinking, "Goodbye, 2010s. Hello, 2020s," or something similar to that. To be honest, I wasn't neither excited about or dreading a new year. I was actually...kind of neutral about it. Don't ask me because I don't know why I felt that way. Maybe it was because I was more focused on school starting back up and getting myself prepared for any new challenges? Or maybe I was tired of guessing whether 2020 was going to be a good or bad year? (Like I said, I have no idea.)

Of course, 2020 has proven to be a chaotic year. There were the Australian bushfires, the rise of social unrest (ex. the protests that began after the death of George Floyd), and, obviously, the COVID-19 pandemic.

For those who're wondering, this year was just a year of ups and downs for me. Some of the good parts about 2020 were:

Creating a TeePublic storefront to sell some of my artworks

"Discovering" things for me to read and watch

The Ancient Magus Bride (anime and manga)

The Girl from the Other Side (manga)

The Boy and The Beast (anime film)

Erased (anime)

BNA (anime)

Cells at Work! (anime)

Beauty and the Beast (1946 Cocteau film)

Over the Garden Wall (2014 animated mini-series)

Wizards (animated series on Netflix)

The Matrix (1999 film; assigned film to watch for one of my Fall 2020 classes)

Strange Days (1995 film; another assigned film)

Videos posted by The Take (YouTube; highly recommend)

Going to my first Deaf social event

Finding out that I'm graduating college around May 2021

Taking a creative writing class for the first time in years

As for the bad parts of 2020? Well, this is the part where I feel like I want to ramble because I rarely do that on social media and websites like DeviantArt. I apologize if what y'all are about to read next upsets y'all in any way.

After spring break of this year, I had to deal with so many changes because of the COVID-19 pandemic. First, whatever in-person classes I attended became online courses. My response to that transition? I honestly had mixed feelings. Some of my professors were--and still are--exceptionally skilled with doing technological tasks while a few of them weren't. I had to deal with a lot of issues such as lack of clear instructions for assignments and the class structures slowly falling apart (due to disorganization). That not only made me feel frustrated but also like I'm walking on eggshells. (Believe me, I've dealt with stressful situations when I started going to college. However, I think it's safe to say that some classes are better off as traditional face-to-face courses.)

Second, I think the number of problems with my mental health increased after the start of my spring classes. Because I was pressuring myself to get good grades in all my classes, I spent more time focusing on my schoolwork. In fact, I spent so much time doing just that until it got to the point where it was hard for me to relax and do fun stuff. Whenever I do anything that's not school-related, I'd feel guilty afterwards. And when I feel motivated enough to draw something or make a video for my YouTube channel, the motivation would just...vanish. I can't tell you how difficult and awful it is for me to experience that.

When you throw anxiety AND depression into said experience, it's especially worse. I'd feel like I'm not only letting myself down, but also the people who view my work. While I don't want to leave anyone hanging, I don't want to present something with terrible quality. I try to think realistically in terms of finding balance, but it's difficult. It's because of the fact that there are things beyond my control. What I can control is how I choose to express myself and help others. To put it simply, I put on a "mask," suppress my feelings, and act like nothing's wrong. I even believed that if I help other people more than myself, then things would run smoothly for the both of us. If I let the "mask" slip or if I show a shred of emotion, I'd attract unwanted attention (or, worst of all, be judged). It's an internal war I have to deal with. Maybe not on a daily basis, but it's a thing that happens.

Finally...I consider this point to be the hardest part to write about. Actually, it's about as hard as the previous one. On the morning of October 1st, I was experiencing emotional stress when I received a call from my mom. Around the same time I'd fallen asleep the previous night, our dog had a seizure. It had an extremely negative effect on her health, and my parents realized it was time for her to be put down. Because I was at school when I got the call, I had to keep my emotions bottled up until I said my last goodbyes. As y'all can imagine, it was a difficult time for me and my family. We didn't want our dog's life to end that way. But at the same time, we didn't want her to suffer anymore. Like I said, she'd been living with us for sixteen years (which is a long time for a dog to live). I would like to think they were the best ones she'd lived, knowing that she was well taken care of. Love your pets, everybody. Just love them. Dog, cat, rabbit...common or peculiar, whatever y'all have, treat them with unconditional love.

(RIP Katy: April 21st, 2004-October 1st, 2020 - You're the best first pet I had.)

In spite of everything I had to go through, I'm still hanging in there. I'm doing okay. Right now, I'm learning how to open up to other people and not be too hard on myself. There are things I care about, want to do, and see. Maybe those are the reasons why I choose to keep going as well as do what I can. At the same time, I'm learning to slow down and take baby steps.

If y'all have made it to this point, I really appreciate it. It really means a lot to me. I don't know what else to say, other than "Thank you and stay safe."

[iimaginedragons]

blog entry #5 -- oln concert

hi everyone, i know i’ve been a shitty blogger by never posting, y’know, actual blog entries, but hey. i’m here now and i’ve got something awesome to talk about. 

just this morning i was still in montréal after one of the coolest, most energetic, most unique experiences of my life. i returned to ottawa early this morning, feeling half dead with exhaustion, but beyond happy. thanks to my incredible friend who got me and another friend early tickets with a free meet and greet, i got to meet and see the incredible band our last night play an awesome set in the small, loud, and jam-packed venue of théâtre corona.

if you’re a fan of post-hardcore music, our last night is the epitome of this genre (at least, they’re up there with a day to remember). with the perfect balance of screaming and singing (and songs with varying degrees of each) and a totally unique energy to their performances, they are literally perfect and i highly recommend everyone to check them out. everything from “age of ignorance” and onwards is mostly post-hardcore and excellent. 

our last night’s older stuff has been classified as more metalcore and screamo (their albums “the ghosts among us” and “we will all evolve”, which i know little about) and although screamo is not really my thing, i’d like to think that i recognize a talented band when i hear it, so if you like this genre, i recommend you check these albums out as well (don’t get too attached though - they don’t play anything older than “age of ignorance” live).

our last night has four members, whose names i only really memorized yesterday (i’ve known of them for about two years now, but only really became a big fan a few months ago). trevor is the screamer and co-lead singer, along with his older brother matt, who has a slightly higher but very similar voice; hearing the difference between the two can be hard (in fact, i didn’t know certain parts were matt’s until i saw it live in front of me), but for music nerds like me who enjoy analysing songs, it’s a fun exercise. woody, a really cool vegan yogi, plays bass, and tim handles the drums.

one things that made this experience absolutely amazing actually happened before we even got to the show. as my two friends and i were walking down the street and about to enter into a pub, we saw trevor, tim, and two of their stage managers walking down the street in front of us, looking around at the restaurants. out of total shock, we jumped into the pub we weren’t even sure we wanted to go into, and just as we sat down at a table, barely catching our breaths, in came trevor and tim. 

both of my friends and i are painfully shy, and so we sat quietly freaking out for our entire meal while half of our last night casually ate the same food as us about two tables away. we wanted to go see trevor, but felt bad bothering him while he was eating. thankfully, he clued in to the fact that we knew him (i’m pretty sure we were not sneaky in how we stared at him a lot yikes) and came over to talk to us and take pictures. 

it was honestly one of the coolest things that had ever happened to me. when we saw him again later at the meet and greet, he remembered us and made a point to ask us about our meal, about montréal, etc.; overall, he is just such a kind and genuine person, as is woody who we met as well. they both made a point come down near us and smile at us several times during the show. even though we didn’t get to talk to matt or tim, i wouldn’t be surprised if they were just as kind, honest, and overall just real and good people.

personally, i had never been to a post-hardcore concert before, and the energy was awesome and different from anything i had ever lived before. as an eighteen year old girl who does not exactly look very threatening, i have to say i felt a little out of place in the middle of a mosh pit, but hey, i’m always willing to try new things.

trevor’s screaming was even better live than i could have hoped for, and his singing was also great. matt did awesome as well despite being a little sharp on some parts. the band’s stage presence and energy was so raw and powerful, and it was by far the most adrenaline-packed concert i have ever been to. if i had one word for this band, i think it’d just be “badass”, because nothing describes them so fucking well.

if you ever have a chance to see our last night live - which you should, because they tour quite often - please do so. they play small venues and rarely charge over 40$ canadian (after extra fees and often with free meet and greets if you book them online early enough) despite the fact that they could, and they’re honestly so worth it. it’s the best “bang for my buck” purchase that i have ever made.

one more thing: this band’s lyrics have helped me through a lot - in their music, they address everything from structural societal problems, to issues of power, dominance, and control, to mental health crises, to big questions about life and happiness, to persistent feelings of guilt and anger towards others and yourself, to relationship difficulties, and so much more. trevor and matt are genius lyricists. 

prepare to see lots of our last night lyrics on your dash for the next little while, because i’m totally obsessed, and i will be for a while.

[mybumpbirthandbeyond]

The Mental Game

With Maternal Mental Health week having just passed, I thought it was appropriate to discuss something people are sometimes uncomfortable talking about. With everything going on, the progress I’ve made, you would be forgiven for thinking I’m positive all the time. Not your fault for thinking that – that’s the image I portray because people are watching. I promised I would try and make people laugh, but it would be wrong of me not to be completely honest about all aspects of this. After all, I owe it to everyone, including myself, to be transparent throughout this journey.

There are low points in everyone’s journey to parenthood, especially mums’, and that’s without a physical battle. The reality is my body is broken, and every day I wish it would be fixed and yesterday.

The appearance of ‘putting a brave face on it’ is nothing new to me. When my dad died, that’s all I did. In school, at home, in public. My mum always spoke about that as we all did it, and no one more so than her - for our sake more than anything. However, as anyone who has done this knows, it’s exhausting. Trying to be positive, is exhausting and sometimes, just not always possible. I’ve joked about myself and had banter about my DRA, but the truth is, it’s not really funny, and sometimes it’s hard to find the positives. People can sympathise, but they can’t empathise. Do you know how many people I personally know with a DRA? None. Not a single person. Do you know how many people I’ve spoken to with one as bad as me? None. I follow people on Instagram who have had it worse, but I don’t know them.

It’s in a way ironic that I always thought I would ‘spring back.’ I’m sure for people who know me, I wasn’t the only one who thought that. That picture in my bikini that I posted is a stark reminder. I used to never put on weight. I would lose tone, but then a few gym sessions would sort that out. I was ‘lucky.’ It was my genetics – my sister is exactly the same. Isn’t it then some form of cruelty that those same genetics are probably to blame for what has happened? There’s no definitive research on this because no one can absolutely prove what causes it. There are some factors that can contribute, but other than genetics, I don’t tick any of those boxes.

This really is a rollercoaster ride which is probably obvious, but I’ll revisit that and explain what I mean. The highs and the lows are below.

The first thing I felt when I knew something was wrong was fear. The bath had been a place to relax when I was heavily pregnant; a sanctuary when I was in labour; and a place to heal when I was recovering. Despite that, when I realised my stomach had a mind of its own, and that when I touched it, my hand didn’t stop sinking, I was terrified. I didn’t even get to the point when I couldn’t go any further. It was a ‘bury my head in the sand,’ moment. I just stopped touching it and tried not to look at it. It surely would get better as the weeks went by.

The only time I have cried about it was that fateful day in November (although I may have teared up writing this...). I had been anxious before that physio appointment and I was right to be. Everything I feared played out in that appointment. Poor Lyndsey ended up being a psychologist that day, not the physio. The whole appointment was more or less talking and me swearing under my breath as I mentioned. I didn’t cry in front of anyone. I’m pretty sure no one would say if they saw me, I looked happy or positive, but I didn’t cry until I got to my car. I broke my heart until I could compose myself enough to drive home.

Since I’ve started making progress, it’s been a feeling of determination – to do all that I can and make the most of the opportunity  that I know I am so lucky to have, to work with an amazing team of physios who are doing all they can to help (including informal counselling).

Then it was feeling of being demotivated, with an indefinite timeline and no markers for progress other than my own gains in my ability to progress my exercises. Small wins. That’s not just physical either. I made jokes recently about being in pain and I’m not lying. No pain, no gain, right? My body is being pushed in ways I haven’t been able to for two years. The last session where I pushed myself to the limit was when I was in Dublin in 2018. It was the last week in July and I had been away every single week of July, with a wedding every weekend, including my sister’s. I had been to Belfast one week, Peterborough the next for a two-day work conference (6 hours of travel each way) and then Dublin. My body and mind were exhausted from constantly being on the go. I thought it was that, that made me feel crap that week. I went to the small gym in the hotel (the beautiful Mespil Hotel – highly recommend it) and hit it hard. I was doing sit ups on the slant bench as low as it would go (highest gradient) I was on a treadmill, push-ups the lot. Everything that I do now, that feels like an achievement, in one session. Two days after I returned from Dublin, we were at the Doctors and they told me I was pregnant.

But what if I told you, when I push myself the pain is not just physical? It’s mental. It’s getting over the ‘can I do this?’ ‘I can’t be bothered,’ ‘I’m sore all over.’ I’ve shared with my physios that I have now progressed to side planks and Russian twists. Wasn’t a big fan of any planks before now, but I did them. Russian twists, however, were always a go to with weights. They’re not even in my programme, but this is what I mean about the autonomy I’ve been given. I said to my husband I was thinking of doing it. He said, ‘I’m not sure,’ but I told him I wouldn’t use the weight. I did two sets – one with feet locked but I didn’t need them locked so then had them hovering. I filmed both and uploaded them to Dropbox for my physios. I looked back and there was very little doming. I did this at the end of my 10 press-ups (x2), planks, sit-ups. I had pushed myself hard as I do every time and it was perhaps a mistake to then do a high-level exercise (1 of 2 new ones I tried that night) at the end. I was cramping massively after it – to the point I was almost bent over double. When I laughed at something my husband said, I felt I could cry with the pain. This was an exercise I could do without thinking before. The reality that I find it that hard was sobering. The high of achieving it, marred by the recognition that I find this hard work.

The elation of the visible results that are materialising after all this hard work. Finally seeing what other people see and the overwhelming responses to it. This is a result of blood, sweat and not many tears.

A rare spark of hope that my tummy doesn’t seem to have the same mind of its own in the bath. Last night I had a night off. I’ve ended up being one of those people who has one day a week off the gym. Without meaning to, I’m pushing myself almost every night because the next part isn’t that far away. I want to be as strong as possible, remember? Then the crushing realisation when I touch it, nothing has changed. I’m not a physio (sometimes I feel like I talk like one given how often I hear what’s going on) and I rarely touch it because I don’t want to. I do when Antony asks me to check for doming – not much choice he can’t do it from Australia! But the hand keeps sinking, and the skin doesn’t move back into the place the way it should when you pinch it. The heavy lines across my abdomen remind me of the skin of an elephant. The sharp reality that this is the long game. This really will take years – I will spend years of my life like this until it can be fixed. I am living in a body that I don’t recognise, and that I don’t like. Doesn’t matter how much I have progressed, that’s just the reality of this situation. No amount of weights can give you the mental strength needed to deal with this on a daily basis for years. I could be doing all of this, and nothing will change from the point of view of the gap, tension etc. Not only that, but I will have to do this all over again, and again, until that day when I can truly say that this is fixed.

I’ve described this as a rollercoaster. I think what I’ve said has explained why - I don’t know how else to describe something that some days has tremendous highs, followed by plummeting lows. I’ve spoken publicly that this is how I consider this journey to be. The truth? I’m sometimes sick of the ride, and just really, really want to get off. As Carrie Underwood said – sometimes I just need a smoke break (look up the song ‘Smoke Break’ and you’ll see what I mean).

[anything-advice-blog]

Submission - AAD

Since Tumblr seems to be breaking I’ll just submit the whole story. So me and this girl (M) met in third grade, August of 2012. We’ve been inseparable ever since. We’ve been very close and affectionate even for close friends. Some time after that, I’m not sure when, I started to develop feelings for M. I realized and told her in March of 2014. I thought it was just a stupid crush and I pushed it to the back of my mind and focused on boys. I didn’t accept my identity just yet, and I just followed what other girls were doing. Throughout this my feelings for M grew intense. I realized - and told M - last summer that I was in love with her. And that I wasn’t exactly straight. M has Always (platonically) loved and supported me. Early May of this year, I decided to ask M to be my girlfriend. She said yes. We couldn’t tell anyone, though. I suspected for a while that she only said yes so that I wouldn’t get upset, as she knows of my severe depression and anxiety. She denied this claim. We’ve always been affectionate, but actually saying we were dating was thrilling. It was Nice. For a while. We’re both asexual btw. So we’re in Florida together for another day, we’ve been here all week with her family. On Tuesday, while her family was down at the beach, we were cuddling in our room and watching TV. She let me kiss her. I was overjoyed. I thought this meant we were better than ever. Her family came up at that moment and we sat up and apart. They never knew anything. Once they left, she seemed extremely upset. She said she was a terrible person and that I would be mad at her. She told me the truth. She’s never felt romantic feelings for me. She said yes so I wouldn’t be sad. I was completely correct. The last month had been a lie. I cried a lot and was alone for a while. We ended up texting our way through it on Wednesday, but I’m still not sure how I feel. I’m still deeply in love with her, but I feel that our friendship will never be the same, and I don’t know if I can trust her ever again. Please help, if you can. I know it would be best to leave, but I can’t live without M. I tried once and I got sent to a mental hospital because I can’t function properly without her. I don’t know what to do. ~ AAD

Update #1: We haven’t really spoken since this whole thing and I really want to talk it out with her but? I don’t know how? Normally we’re texting and face timing like 24/7 but since this ~incident~ we text each other rarely and I’m just so scared that I’m losing her but I’m still heartbroken over what she did so I don’t know how to feel or what to do

Update #2: sorry for being annoying and everything but it’s all just going so fast okay so turns out M and my other friend (N) were talking over the phone last night and wanted me to join but I was asleep so I have no idea what they were talking about (N knows about everything that’s happened) I know it doesn’t even matter but I get so fucking jealous like even before all of this happened I get so jealous so easily bc m is my everything and i can’t stand when she does anything without me which I know is really unhealthy but when they told me that last night happened (M texted me like 15 minutes ago) I just got so upset literally when I hear stuff like this it makes me want to kms or stab someone (I do have severe depression and anxiety btw) please help I don’t know why I get so jealous I can feel my heart pounding and I’m just not okay and I’m shaking and I want to hurt

Hey love, 

I answered your first submission here already when you sent in as a 3 parter.

Now as for your updates. 

Honestly? I think you should put your big girl panties on and sort out the situation. Is it going to be awkward? Yeah. Is it going to suck a little? Definitely. But you obviously want to reconcile with her and you obviously want to help her. If something small like this keeps you from even anting to talk it out with her, then there’s very little you can do. There’s no pretty way to go about it. You need to be honest with each other and talk about whatever issues you had with each other. Find a time and a private space to talk through what happened. How you can solve it better in the future? Address your concerns and hers as well. 

You’re right, your relationship will never be the same after what happened and that’s fine. You can use this to either strengthen your friendship or as a door opener for other possibilities. Give it time to heal. You were heartbroken and it’s still raw so you’re going to feel a lot of emotions. But don’t expect that it won’t be awkward for the first few months. Don’t expect yourself or her to pretend that nothing happened because it did. Because it happened, you were able to learn more about your own feelings and hers; whether that’s a good or bad thing, I think you still need to figure that out together. 

So talk to her. If you guys want to keep this friendship going, perhaps it would be best to clear up all misunderstandings. Why did she lie? Why did she decide to come clean? because you know, she could’ve pretended and lead you on for as long as she wanted. Instead, she came clean and told you the truth. The truth may have hurt but it was the truth. So talk to each other about these issues. It would also be fine to take a break from each other. it would be okay to not want to be friends with her as well. 

Are you being treated for your depression and anxiety? I think you should take up treatment or continue your treatment through this. Talk to a counsellor or therapist about what you’re going through and use their support and help to get through this. I know that you think you wouldn’t be able to live without M but I promise you you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You will survive this heartbreak. You will be hurt for a long time and sometimes it’ll still ache years later, but you will get through this. You have to believe in it and you have to try. Otherwise, you’ll never really know. 

As for your dependency on M, have you tried working on yourself? Finding things that you enjoy with yourself and no one else? Finding something that you like doing without M? Maybe hanging out with friends outside of M. Finding some time to be with yourself or with others who isn’t M may help you learn to be less dependent on M. It’ll allow you both to have a sense of individuality without co-dependency. Whether you stay as friends or proceed on as romantic partners, it would be best to learn this as well. 

I highly recommend you seek professional help for everything that’s happening right now. It’s not only what’s happening with M, but your depression, your anxiety, and you thoughts of self-harm are making it very hard to move on or even begin to processing what’s happening. So please, talk to a professional. Continue or get treatment for your mental health and give all of this some time to work through. It won’t be solved in days or even weeks or months. Trust that it will work out. We may not like the results but if you continue to hope for the best, to understand that everything happens for the better, and keep trying to get better you will one day fall in love again. You’ll find good friends and you’ll eventually learn to be happy. 

It’s okay to not be okay. For the time being, please try to talk to some friends that you trust when you start feeling triggered. Call them up. Go through a few breathing exercises with them. Cry. It’s okay to do that. If you feel that you are a danger to yourself or others, please contact your local emergency service. If you want to do, you can call a hotline or chat with someone live. 

Always by your side,

Kelly

[bemrcog1-blog]

While you struggle to cope with all these unwanted feelings that failure brings, a cascade of judgement is inevitably thrown by the surrounding world. You obviously did not measure up to the expectations of your family and friends, further worsening that self-worth anxiety. Sounds familiar? Well, you may find some comfort in knowing that you are not the only one experiencing this. Damn, I’ve myself been there for many more times than I’d like to admit. And I’m not talking about failing in small things, I’ve been through failures that altered the entire landscape of my life. Each time I failed, I felt bent and broken; but only to acquire a better shape, and to learn the most important lesson that failure is not an outcome, it’s a symptom. Failure shouts out loud at us that something somewhere is not just right, and identifying that ‘not just right’ element is the key to future success. This is the reason why instead of nursing the bruises of my unsuccessful students, I always encourage them to identify that ‘not just right’ factor. Here at mrcog part 2, we call it a debriefing. 

Debriefing: In our debriefing meetings, I encourage students to be vulnerable and talk freely in a non-threatening and supportive environment. If you are not a part of BeMRCOG family, you can help yourself by understanding the process. Debriefing is nothing but a critical reflection on your own performance – self-analysis. Reflection is the best practice to bridge the gap between present and desired outcome. It is an exercise that helps you identify what needs to be done differently to achieve different results. This can be done by adapting one of many approaches. I personally do a systematic reflection on my own performance following the fish bone model that I have explained in detail in my blog post ‘The man on top of mountain did not fall there’. 

Risks of debriefing: But before you embark on self-analysis, let me warn you of the potential risks associated with this process. Critical reflection is not as easy as it sounds, it is an emotional process. All the reactions that I explained in the opening of this blog are rooted to our ego and self-esteem; telling us how incapable we are as compared to those who succeeded. If your first reaction to the failure was, ‘I don’t know what went wrong, I did quite well’, then trust me you are coming from a point of ego. Evidence proves that an ego-centred self-analysis is unlikely to change the outcome. I believe that failure should be treated like bereavement and therefore, I allow a good few weeks before conducting the debrief. This allows the emotions to settle down, denial to convert into acceptance and most of the times I find students ready to move on and look forward. It still remains an optional and voluntary meeting, because another risk of debriefing is student disengagement with the mentor and peers. Essentially, any such disengagement is an emotional reaction which is oftentimes not very helpful. I have faced all sorts of emotional reactions in a debrief, including violence against the mentor (myself) on a rare occasion.

So, before you proceed further to a self-analysis, it is imperative that you shift your focus from ego to task-oriented. This means that instead of thinking ‘the exam is tough’, shift your thoughts to ‘What can I do to improve?’. Unless you develop this mindset, you will not be able to be productive enough and move on.

 Aims of debriefing: Improved future performance is the only aim of debriefing and this can be achieved only once you have shifted your focus from ego to task. The more task oriented you become, the better you communicate with the teacher, this consequently helps them to shape their teaching to your needs. Shared commitment towards learning process is the rule of thumb. No coaching, mentoring, courses or groups can be ideal, perfect and complete, because your learning is your individual process and is unique to you. This is precisely why I keep myself personally available to my students at any time of need so the gaps they might find within my course can be filled up with one-to-one interaction. Knowledge is not a fixed entity, it evolves and increments with experience and increased engagement with mentor and peers. And debriefing is an excellent opportunity to rebuild motivation and construct new knowledge. 

Common Causes: The most common reasons that students highlight are listed below although this list can be exhaustive: – Inadequate preparation – Lack of revision/practice – Poor time management – Inadequate planning – Unawareness of UK systems 

But did you know that under the surface of these apparently simple and obvious reasons, the actual problem is sometimes of a serious nature. This is more specifically true if the failure is recurrent. So just identifying this case will not solve the problem, you will need to consider the root cause to bring a better result. 

Root Cause Analysis: All the reasons listed above have much deeper roots. I am elaborating just a few below to avoid a very lengthy post. 

1. Superficial learning: This is the number one culprit for failure and a direct result of lack of understanding exam requirements leading to sub-optimal preparation. Most higher education exams are specifically designed to test your critical thinking and problem solving skills. This is next to impossible to pass this exam easily with superficial learning behaviour. Obvious indicators of this behaviour are what I call ‘red flag questions’ from the students. ‘What is the right answer?’ ‘Which books do you recommend to read?’ ‘What questions can come in the exam?’ ‘Can you provide me notes?’

The attitude behind this behaviour is seeking easy and quick fix, as well as dependence. None of this ever allows a critical thinking to develop. 

2. Confidence issues: Both over and under confidence are silent killers. Confidence levels directly affect exam day performance, so no matter how well prepared you are and how good your critical thinking is, you can very easily make silly mistakes. The story doesn’t end here. What happens after exams is that those who were under confident further lose their confidence, and those who were over confident usually cannot identify the gaps they must bridge. 

3. Social circumstances: This is unfortunately one factor we have least control on. The list is long but some of common ones are financial restrains, relationship problems, domestic abuse, work-place bullying, loss of a loved one etc. etc. One useful strategy is not to push yourself through, and plan the exam at a time when you feel is convenient. There is no need to be hard on yourself and as a matter of fact, this exam is never a top priority when compared with social factors. A practical and realistic approach is mandatory in these circumstances. 

4. Mental health issues: Well, I can see some rolling eyes here. Unfortunately, doctors are most vulnerable but least open to accept this factor. it’s not surprising to develop circumstantial/temporary depression, anxiety, mania, phobia etc. with such a highly stressful job. And if these problems are not addressed in a timely manner, they can develop into chronic conditions. It’s important to understand that mental health is equally important like physical health, and just like we know physical exercise is beneficial even in the absence of physical illness, similarly a few counselling sessions now and then are very beneficial in mental strength. 

5. Personality disorders: Once again these are much common among doctors than you can think of, but the problem with anyone with a personality disorder is that they are themselves completely unaware of this. A typical differentiating feature between mood and personality disorder is that people with mood disorders are aware of their problems and do accept help if available. As you can clearly see from the root causes mentioned above, faulty study is just one factor resulting in failure. So, focusing only on the study factor may not reveal other areas that require your attention. In my courses, I address the study factor by using a variety of teaching strategies.

 As mentioned earlier, it’s almost impossible to cover every learning objective in one course. Therefore, I try to bridge the gaps and address individual needs by one-to-one sessions, non-academic support by offering to be your talk buddy, moral support and motivational chats. I also try to cover areas not covered by any other courses like systems in the UK, Clinical Governance, communication skills, statistics etc. in live online events. In my e-courses, my focus remains to facilitate you to build up your foundation knowledge and develop critical thinking by not offering any ready-made notes, encouraging brainstorming and promoting self-directed learning (I know I am a pain, but it’s a short term pain for a long term gain). 

I feel to be privileged that the Almighty has given me an opportunity to help my colleagues and students beyond their study by having this platform BeMRCOG. The support we offer you here is extended to help you address non-academic challenges you might be facing. ‘Doctors in difficulty’ is a service where our dedicated and highly skilled professionals are available to help you through confidence issues, prioritising skills, mental health issues and even just for a routine counselling. The added beauty is that you can avail all of this in a private and confidential atmosphere, right from the comfort of your room. However, any help can only be offered to someone who seeks it. 

Can you see now why is it so important to be honest to yourselves and take failure as a symptom rather than an outcome. Go through a thorough self-analysis, (you may wish to use the tool explained in my blog, The Man on the top of mountain did not fall there) and devise a practical plan of action for future. It is important to understand that experience is not the key to learning, it is the reflection on that experience that opens the doors to success. 

Dr Asma Naqi MMEd,MRCOG, MBBS, BSc Academic Lead, Mentor and Supervisor 

Source — BeMRCOG Ltd

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

13 New Healthy Habits That Changed My Life in 2018

New blog post! Now that the New Year is almost here, New Years Resolutions are a common topic of conversation...and while I rarely make a strict resolution, I do love making small changes to my everyday routine that add up to a BIG impact. So I thought I’d join The Mighty’s #52SmallThings challenge and share 13 small healthy habits - in diet, exercise and just everyday life - that made my life a 1000% better this year.

Like always, I want to make it clear that I'm not a dietician, nutritionist or doctor. I'm just a girl with two chronic illnesses who likes sharing what lifestyle choices help me thrive, mentally and physically! So if you do want to make big changes in your life in 2019 (or even enact some of the bigger changes in diet, exercise, etc. that I mention in this post), I recommend talking to a medical professional first. But if you're looking for ideas of healthy New Years resolutions or small tweaks you can make in 2019 that could improve your whole life, keep reading to find inspiration in what habits worked for me!

1. Replacing half of my TV time with audiobooks.

My college roommates could attest to the fact that I used to be addicted to Netflix, Hulu and other streaming sites. I’m a natural multitasker, so I’d always have some show playing in the background as I blogged, did chores, cooked or surfed the web. And I still watch TV shows regularly (check out my list of awesome food-related documentaries on Netflix if you need new show recommendations!). However, I’d say I watch a quarter of what I used to...and that’s because I’ve started listening to audiobooks instead!

Not only does this let me read more books during the school year (when I rarely have time to physically “read” anything beyond my assigned books) but audiobooks have also been shown to improve critical listening, comprehension, vocabulary, pronunciation - whether you're a student or an adult reader. Plus, listening to audiobooks could also save you money in the long run if you stop paying for cable or pay for just one streaming service. I get all of my audiobooks from the library using OverDrive, so I’d highly recommend seeing if your library offers the same OverDrive resource.

2. Finding teas that I actually love to drink.

I actually have my sister to thank for starting this healthy habit since her Christmas gift to me last year was a big bundle of gluten free, decaffeinated tea. Before her gift, I always wanted to like tea but never drank it regularly. This past year, though, Bigelow's Lemon Ginger Herbal Tea + Probiotics and Orange & Spice Tea have become my favorite way to warm up on a very cold day in Minnesota. Plus, I’ve found that drinking a warm cup of tea is a great way to practice self-care on days when my stomach or digestion is acting up. So whether you’re trying to stop drinking coffee and want to get your caffeine from tea instead or just want the health benefits that can come from certain types of tea, drinking more tea is an easy New Years resolution or small, healthy habit to try.

PS - that glass straw is from Foods Alive, for whom I serve as an ambassador, and it is super awesome!

3. Being LESS strict with my diet.

I know that especially around the New Years, people are usually trying to eat healthier and cut out a lot of the treats they’ve been enjoying during the holidays. But I’ve been taking a different approach in 2018 - and it’s been working so well, I don’t plan on changing it in 2019: I’ve been eating a little bit of anything and everything (that’s gluten free). Like I’ve written about before, I’ve experimented with a LOT of different diets since my celiac disease diagnosis. I’ve tried paleo. I’ve tried eating super clean with little to no processed foods. And for a lot of 2017 and 2018, I ate vegan. But in the latter half of last year, I continued loosening up on my diet. I ate meat when I felt like it and more ice cream in one semester than I probably ate in all 2017. I experimented with different gluten free foods, like hummus and freezer meals. And you know what? I’m happier. I’m at a healthier weight (more on that below). And it's been pretty freakin' delicious to eat ground turkey with my dinner or ice cream with my night snack.

This isn’t to say that you should go crazy on whatever foods (if any) you’ve been limiting lately. And obviously there are some foods that DON'T do well with people (like gluten for people with celiac disease), and it IS an act of self-care to avoid those triggers. However, I did want to share my experience to show that eating “perfectly” or eating a certain diet isn’t always better than just eating what your body craves and going with the flow.

4. Establishing a regular weight-lifting routine.

One of the other biggest reasons I think I gained some curves and muscle in 2018? I started lifting weights on a regular basis...and progressively lifting heavier. I’ve flirted with the weight room since junior year of college, but I always did more cardio than weight lifting. And I still do a good amount of cardio (this gal loves a stair stepper workout!), but leg injuries forced me to dive deeper into the realm of weight lifting, and I’m really glad they did! I’m certainly no pro at lifting weights and still don’t lift very heavy compared to many people, but I love how strong I feel now and getting to challenge myself by slowly racking up the weight.

Nowadays, it seems a LOT more socially acceptable for women to lift weights and use the weight room at gyms. However, it definitely can feel intimidating to walk into a weight room full of huge dudes who all seem to know exactly what they’re doing. Just know that getting to see and feel yourself getting stronger is so worth that initial discomfort or the days it takes you to figure out weight lifting equipment and proper form. Gaining some extra curves along the way has just been a bonus!

5. Listening to podcasts when I'm working out or doing chores.

This year also marked the start of my love for podcasts. While I listened to them every so often before, now I go through a handful of episodes each week, and it’s definitely given me some new topics to bring up in conversations. Plus, depending on the podcast I listen to, I often feel less alone about certain struggles I’m going through (like the general chaos of life in your 20s) and learn new skills related to mindfulness, meditation, gratitude, etc.

Of course, it is important to give yourself a break and not be listening to something every single minute of your day. But if you want to replace some of your TV with informative or entertaining podcasts, or just want to learn some new facts in your spare time, some of my fave podcasts right now are:

Trader Joe’s (Inside) - all about Trader Joe’s, as told from various employees on the inside 

How I Built This - each episode features an interview with a new entrepreneur about how they succeeded at building their company or brand 

Freakonomics Radio - in-depth conversations with various experts on interesting topics ranging from the obesity crisis to the connection between religion and happiness 

Oprah’s Supersoul Conversations - it’s Oprah and she’s interviewing a bunch of crazy cool people about deep takeaways they’ve gotten from life 

That's So Maven - I only just discovered that The Healthy Maven (an awesome blog) has its own, equally awesome podcast all about health, wellness and everyday life.

6. Saying "yes" to social events I initially felt on the fence about going to.

To be completely honest...I’m a homebody. 9/10 Friday nights, I’m chilling in my apartment with Netflix and homemade granola. But in 2018, I tried to say “yes” to more invitations, even if they were out of my comfort zone. And as a result, I... ...stayed up until 2 AM dancing at a club in downtown Minneapolis. ...went to a concert held by one of my professors and discovered that tipsy people really like my fuzzy black scarf.

...almost froze seeing Christmas lights in Mankato but also managed to see some real-live reindeer! ...am visiting a special someone in San Diego for part of my Christmas break. (And if you notice that I'm a bit quiet on the blog/social media next week, this visit is why!) I wouldn’t say that everything I said “yes” to in 2018 was a complete success. But I’m going to start 2019 with a heck of a lot of good memories that I wouldn’t have made if I’d said “no” to everything that was a little out of my comfort zone.

7. Saying "no" to things I felt like I SHOULD do...but actually didn't want or need.

At the same time, though, healthy living for me involves saying “no” to a good amount of social or work invitations. The truth is, grad school is exhausting...especially when you’re also working several jobs and have two chronic illnesses. So a lot of the time, I can’t do all the things I want to. I still feel guilty sometimes for not being a “good enough” MFA student since I miss so many department-related events. And a big part of me wishes I could live off of 4 or 6 hours of sleep like other college students and dedicate those extra hours to blogging more or doing more freelance work or spending more time with friends.

But my body doesn’t work like that. And if you have your own health struggles or just have the tendency to say “yes” to things out of obligation instead of actual enjoyment...maybe the best New Years resolution is saying “no” more. Staying in on a Saturday night if that’s what your mind or body needs. Making friends with people who understand when you need some alone time. And, at the most basic level, saying “yes” to your own needs BEFORE saying “yes” to anything else. Personally, I know that’s one “goal” I’m always going to be working on, including in 2019!

8. Starting each morning with a solo dance party.

This year of grad school, I’m teaching an 8 AM Intro to English Composition class. And I’m not gonna lie. Sometimes it’s hard to get myself out of bed, across campus and excited to teach that early in the morning. This last semester, though, I’ve started playing even just a few minutes of my favorite songs when I wake up, and I think it’s definitely helped make me a little more motivated to head off to class. Research even reports that listening to music that you like triggers the release of dopamine, or the “happy hormone” in the brain. So the next time you have an early morning you’re not looking forward to or just need a pick-me-up anytime in the day, groovin’ to some of your favorite tunes might help!

9. Foam rolling after every single workout.

I don’t really have much to say about this except do it. 2018 was the first year that I actually committed to foam rolling any time I do a leg workout, and it has seriously done wonders for my soreness and healing from my leg injuries.

10. Eating more plant-based protein...but not restricting myself from meat.

I already mentioned this a little bit earlier on in the post, but it was a big enough change to deserve its own bullet. If you follow me on Instagram, you probably noticed that over the past year and a half, I’ve been eating more hummus and beans than my old favorite of sweet potato salmon sliders. During that time, I love that I was able to slowly increase my stomach’s tolerance for legumes (by eating a verrrrry small amount of beans and then working up) and I’ve really enjoyed experimenting with new plant-based foods like pulled BBQ jackfruit or homemade hummus.

But over the last few months, I’ve added meat back into my diet. And you know what? I’ve found that’s what works best for me. Now I'm not saying that a vegan diet can't work for people or isn't a good idea. If you don't want to eat meat or eggs or dairy and that works for you, great! And I can honestly say that a vegan and gluten free diet can still be super delicious. But if 2018 taught me anything, it's that every body thrives on a different diet. And I just hope that anyone who wants to experiment with a new diet in 2019 or make a healthy eating New Year's resolution remembers that!

11. Sharing regular phone calls with old friends.

I was warned about how hard it would be to stay in contact with college friends after graduation, and that’s definitely true. Last year, though, I tried to make it more of a priority to catch up with old friends and it felt super rewarding. As anyone who’s ever been (or is presently) in their 20s knows, it’s a really weird time. People are doing everything from still living at home with their parents to getting married and having kids to starting their career to being in school like me. And during weeks when I feel really unsure about what the heck I was doing with life, it helps a lot to have someone to talk to who knows me but is now doing something totally different than I am.

12. Turning off push notifications for my social media apps.

I’m not gonna lie. I spend a loooot of time on my phone. But one step that did help in 2018 was turning off push notifications for social media apps. A 2015 study actually tested the effects of saying "no" to push notifications and found that people were more productive and less distracted in the first 24 hours. And when researchers checked in with study participants one year later, two-thirds had chosen to keep their notifications off, increasing their long-term chances of being less stress and more focused. Now, I wouldn’t say that muting notifications has turned me into a super productive superwoman. But I think it does help keep me from getting distracted by every Facebook comment or Instagram direct message when they happen - and, at the very least, no harm was done by turning my push notifications off!

13. Celebrating the moments when I walk by the mirror and think, "Dang girl, you're lookin' good!"

Body image with celiac disease is always a complicated topic, and I definitely haven't discovered the secret to self-love with chronic illness. BUT in 2018, I did get a lot better at celebrating the moments when I do feel at home in my body, no matter what surprises it throws my way. And here's the biggest thing about self-love and self-care I learned in 2018: it doesn't have to be complicated! It doesn't require fancy face masks or a morning ritual of staring at the mirror and saying everything you love about your body. It can be as simple as taking a selfie or taking an extra moment to smile in the mirror on days you're feeling really good.

If you want to step up your whole self-love and self-care routine, check out my posts (here and here) on some simple and quick self-love activities you can try. But don't forget to get the most out of the little moments, too, when you feel awesome and can celebrate that vibe!

My Biggest Goal for 2019

Even as I'm finishing up this post on Christmas Day, it blows my mind that 2018 is almost over. It was not a perfect year (is there even such a thing?!?) but it was a year full of growth and laughter and adventures and challenges and successes...and new healthy habits that I'm definitely going to keep up in the New Year! Like I said earlier in this post, I rarely make New Year's resolutions, and that isn't changing in 2019. But I do like picking a word to focus on...and in 2019, my word is going to be "open." Open to new opportunities, even if they scare me or aren't what I was planning or expecting. Open to changes in my routine, even if routine is what I'm most comfortable with.

And, of course, open to discovering more habits that will help me live a happy, healthy life! What's one healthy habit that's changed your life? Tell me in the comments! via Blogger http://bit.ly/2ERawqq